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#im not really cut out for it tho i dont have a very good ear nor do i have a lot of patience

redr0sewrites · 9 months

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Kafka (HSR) Headcanons

REQS R STILL OPEN<3 KAFKA IS SO PRETTY OMFG I LOVE WOMEN AUUUGH

🥀CW: Smut in the nsfw part, bondage, marking, overall kinky stuff, non-sexual nudity mentioned in the sfw part

🥀 minors dni with the nsfw portion

SFW:

god i love women

kafka is often very busy, so i see her love language as words of affirmation

she loves flirting with you and whispering sweet things in your ear just to watch you get flustered

she can often be very touchy and flirty, however if it makes you uncomfortable she is shockingly good with boundaries and will simply give you space why would u say no tho

she loves having your head in her lap while she plays with your hair

she enjoys taking baths with you, esp after long or difficult missions

she will go all out, she will light candles, put rose petals and bubbles in the water, epson salt cuz its soothing, anything you like. there WILL be romantic music playing softly in the background, i said what i said

she likes to give you back massages and will give you small kisses on the back of your neck

she is VERY protective of you, i wouldnt say to a super controlling level but enough where she gets jealous pretty easily

she is actually so bad at dropping hints like she will flirt with anyone and anything but the second she caught feelings for u she had no idea what to do

she legit just teased u and made fun of u, you would probably think she hated you for awhile until you figured out that she was obsessed with u

have u seen her fit? yall def share a closet

her clothes are your clothes and vice versa

seeing you in her clothes sets something off in her i swear

this often leads to steamy makeout sessions and yk what else

SHE LOVES DOING YOUR MAKEUP AND HAIR SHE WOULD HELP YOU GET READY EVERY DAY IF SHE COULD

she will also let you do hers, but not super often since shes kinda busy sometimes and doesnt want to take forever getting ready

the type of person who can walk for hours and hours forEVER in super tall heels/platforms or "walk it off" after literally being beaten to near death in battle but will complain for days if she gets even the tiniest paper cut

likes giving back hugs

this is random but i feel like she eoukd enjoy puzzles and word games

YALL R THE TYPE TO GO ON FANCY DATES YALL R THE BIGGEST POWER COUPLE EVER

she always, ALWAYS pays for u, holds the door for u, she will hold ur shoes if they're bothering u/she will carry u if she can, LITERALLY A MIX BETWEEN GENTLEMAN AND MILF BEHAVIOR

she will prob introduce u to the other stellaron hunters if u dont already work w them

her friends r ur friends now

yall have self care dates where u get ur nails, hair, and skin care done and go to fancy spas or get massages im too broke to do this idk what people actually do at a spa

overall amazing and wonderful we ignore the fact that shes insane bc its hot

NSFW:

here we gooo

switch energy SWITCH ENERGY

when shes more subby shes still in control, i feel like she would def be a power bottom at least

really enjoys commanding you and ordering you around, gets off on your obedience and your disobedience

HAIR PULLER

she WILL wear a strap and use toys on you, putting a vibrator to your clit/cock while your tied down and watching you squirm and whimper, using leg spreaders to hold ur legs apart while she eats u out/sucks u off, paddles, rods/dildos, thrusting vibrators, she has it ALL

if u dont have stereotypically "female" genitals/or even if u do, she will peg u. there is no escaping it. she will overstimulate you and she will fuck u until ur begging for her to stop, thighs shaking, chest heaving, sobbing and pleading for a break

IDK IF I SAID THIS ALREADY BUT SHE WILL TIE U DOWN AND SHE WILL USE INTRICATE AND PRETTY DESIGNS AND ROPES TO DO SO

she very much enjoys riding ur face, seeing your face covered in her slick below her... godd ur gonna be up the whole night

exhibitionist (i am prob spelling this wrong💀) SHE LIKES PRESSING U UP AGAINST WINDOWS WHILE THERES PEOPLE OUTSIDE AND FUCKING U FROM BEHIND WITH HER STRAP

"oh? your upset about them seeing us? so what? dont worry your pretty little head about trivial things like that dolly, i'll take care of everything for you~" *proceeds to fuck u until ur babbling and no more worried are forming in ur head*

into sensory play as well

ur tied down and blindfolded and she will blot hot air against ur cunt/cock, run an ice cube up and down ur thighs, leave hickeys or kisses on ur thighs, trace a feather around ur chest and trail it down ur abdomen, just above where u want her, so close but so, so far...

perhaps she has a mommy kink, but it would take a little while to discover it 👀

wears lingerie on a regular basis and will strip in front of u at the end of the day leaving u in flustered in shock she loves seeing u all flushed and embarrassed omg

tease teas tease sOO UNFAIR

WILL TEASE U FOR DAYS ON END JUST TO GET U TO SUBMIT

OVERALL THE PERFECTEST AND HOTTEST LOVER U CAN EVER IMAGINE

hi guys cant believe i just wrote this anyways can u tell i have a preference LMFAOO shes just so cool <3 i might have a type *side eyes kindael, kafka, rosaria, and all the other pink/red associated women who r also fucking insane that i simp for* sorry i havent been super active lately, i prob wont be for a little while im going on vacation. however, reqs are still open i am BEGGING for reqs lmao😭 hope u enjoyed! lmk of any errors/gendering issues, hope u enjoyed

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gogolstoelicker · 1 year

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OB gang with albedo mc ?

Like at first they got the cold treatment (aka how albedo treated anyone and anything he wasn’t interested in)

Then slowly they warmed up and got to see the other side of them ( aka how albedo treated the traveler (kinda smug low-key flirty etc)

OB! gang with Albedo! MC

a/n: •FUCK THAT MAN HE DIDN'T COME HOME EVEN WHEN I WAS GUARANTEED

•if im being honest, albedo would probably be so interest in twst that he could not be cold to them. well maybe some of them but I'll make it work

warning:spoilers abt book 6(that i myself barely know about but here we are)

Friendly and popular, you gained fame for your alchemical talents. Though popular, you have an extreme distaste for social interactions. Barely anyone knows anything of your personal life as you are quite secretive about it.

Fueled by the feeling of enlightenment, you research about the things that pique your interest and once the feeling is gone, you lose all interest. Along with your alchemical genius, you're also a respectable artist.

Riddle:

he had heard u were really good at alchemy and making potions from trey who heard from ace

so he is very much curious about your world and how you got to know alchemy

start up a convo with u when he saw u in the middle of his walk

and you're sketching grim LMAOAOAOA

literally acted like u didn't know he was there bc you're sketching can't he see🙄

riddle thought it was kind of rude and pointed it out

still acted like u dont know

it takes u finsihing the grim drawing for u to even look at him

we all know hes angry so lets skip!!

riddle would like to know the basic alchemy of ur world and got absolutely flabbergasted when u showed him

"how the heck did a magicless student like you managed do that⁉️"

"but that is basic alchemy??" -u after turning dust to a bird

eventually,riddle had to cut the convo short bc he have a schedule to follow🤗so u went back to grim sketching

he tried to invite you to the unbirthday party bc he really enjoyed ur convo

but u declined it

but still went there bc the adeuce duo forced you LMAOAOAOA

so like kapoosh kapow the ob happened and a day after that he got interrogated by u

no break for riddle💀

u were very much interested in how he felt before and after the ob, if anything changes about him after the ob, what was it really that triggered the ob and-

CALM DOWN HES TRYING TO ANSWER ONE BY ONE

you're like "🤔hmm i see" the entire time with this serious face

u also gave him a potion for quick recovery so good for him!!(u gave everyone who overblot btw im just too lazy to write for all)

saw ur sketchbook one and saw some sketches of him

in both his ob form and how he is normally

"🧍why did u drew me"

"u carry a different aura and look different from how u usually do, it's quite fascinating"

"BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY OVERBLOT??"

multitasking royalty😂🙌who knew you could draw him while fighting him off

Leona:

you've seen some people with ears like him back in your world so you're not exactly as interested 🤷

even ur assistant have non-human like ears

tho u do wonder if there's anything different abt him since hes technically not from ur world

i dont think yall will interact much before the ob but after? and when book 3 is happening??

knowing how he acts, you're quite disappointed

"not only are u skilled but you're also quite knowledgeable. you could've been something greater if only you could muster up some motivation and ambition in you other than for the throne"

leona goes 🤨🤬you picking a fight or smth⁉️

but then also got goosebumps bc why is this small fry doing analysis of him and how come you know so much already😱

ruggie snickering beside him bc bro got called out so hard

bc hes pissed at u, he quite literally got an A on every single subject LMFOAOAOAOA

mans live off of spite (me too)

you did saw it and was quite pleased hes showing more of his potential

praised him so hard u made his ego bigger

is this... the feeling of recognition😍⁉️ -leona /hj

saw ur sketches of him during ur stay in savanaclaw in book 3

was surprised you captured every single detail about him, lowkey smug abt it

"you were staring at me so hard huh. you could've just asked if you wanted to draw me"

"oh? then by all means, strike up a pose for me. i would love to draw u again"

"...i never said yes, herbivore"

Azul:

not interested in you other than taking ur dorm for business + not interested in him at all

signed the contract anyway bc why not LMAOAOA

totally not bc grim was trying to get u to sign it so bad, no. not at all

anyways now you're homeless and is staying at savanaclaw

lets skip a lil bc i literally have nothing to say

yknow when the tweels tried to sabotage yall?

u literally fend them off using ur geo vision

them: 😧⁉️

they did report to azul

"but that bitch is magicless⁉️" is what he would say if hes not a professional businessman

hes sobbing and crying and clutching his contracts bc how dare⁉️

and u found out he is an octopus like after the blot so yknow what that means

"i would like to see u in that form, if you do not mind"

azul's glasses breaking bc he absolutely refused to

"😕😔a shame but it's alright" *starts studying that childhood pic of him instead*

azul standing right behind u🕴

he did ask why do u wanna see that form of his

and u go "that's something u wouldn't find in my world, i would like to know everything i could know"

the tweels agreed for a price btw

idk whats the price dont ask me

u sometimes visit the lounge bc that place is pretty as hell

notices how u would draw the place sometimes and the gear in his head was working so hard on how to get money from that

peeked into the sketchbook once

saw many sketches of him in his other form or what u think would be his other form

and the way its so accurate😧⁉️

🕴🕴- u and azul

Jamil:

i feel like u would recognize him for his many talents??

and would totally go "why are u hiding it if you know you could do it🤨🤔"

"i do not know what you're talking about☺" -jamil

u just shrug bc oh well. none of ur business

hes kind of glad u decided to drop the topic but also kinda :/ bc there goes his plan if u could see through him that easily

he is quite knowledgeable so u often ask him abt his homeland and their designs there and everything else bc

my god is scarabia pretty😍

u drew scarabia so often its not even funny anymore

and yknow those times he would like hypnotize kalim?

u knew smth was up but decided not to confront jamil abt it

he witnessed u eating a spider one time

he considered letting u go back to ur dorm out of fear LMFAOAOAA

u noticed him and asked if he would like some

U EVEN RECOMMENDED HIM SPIDERS TASTED GOOD WITH THIS AND THIS💀

he was on the verge of tears😔🙏rip jamil, he could've lived a normal life if life loved him enough

u finding out jamil and kalim is a little like subject 2 and u: 😱⁉️(trying to uh replace someone's position or smth)

after the entire blot stuff, he absolutely let u know if theres any bugs around

bc like hell is he fighting those bugs

you're delighted bc yes nutritious foods!!

jamil watching it all:

Vil:

you drew vil quite a lot since he's very pretty

vil is quite drawn to u from the start bc you're also very pretty

has heard of how great you are at making potions and alchemy from epel

so when the program thing happened, hes quite happy that he got to talk to you more

since he was living with u, he could see the many drawings of him and the others (vil and the non-vils. u totally don't play favorite)

vil seeing those beautiful sketches, thinking of ways to promote yalls group with ur talent

he did commission u for it and even offered to pay

u going k sure, i dont mind

vil posted the art on social media and it got so many attention💀

and yknow how vil is so popular and all? yeah so many people asked him to get in touch with u so they could commission u smth bc ur talent is just so😍😍🙏🙏‼️‼️

congrats⁉️it was supposed to be for their promotion but u accidentally got promoted as well

vil is very happy and proud

well after the whole overblot thing, u sometimes visit pomefiore for various other reasons

sometimes bc some famous ppl wanted to get in touch with u, sometimes u just wanna go potion potion with vil

Idia:

he is actually very thankful that you're not interested in him in any way

or so he thought

you're in fact very interested in him

his hair is quite unique to you + his creations are quite interesting to you

"woah unique robots😍" u 5 mins before disaster

and by that i meant a bigass hole in the dorm you're staying in LNFAOAO

so yknow how rook, epel and mc tried to save the others by going to this place they're supposedly brought to?(i dont think i missed anyone)

and my god are u taking ur time

"what is this fascinating creature?" *tries to eat it*

"PREFECT NO!!" -epel and rook

be thankful you're not from their world or else you would've overblot for that

idia and ortho seeing it all🕴🕴

and when idia and ortho came to see yall, you are even more delighted

"i would like to study you, if you do not mind"

idia bc its supposed to be the other way around:

epel, rook and ortho staring at u:

u did ask again after the whole incident and he def did not broke out in cold sweat

#twst wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #vil shoenheit #idia shroud

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ly0nstea · 6 months

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My thoughts on the final special, skip to the end if you just want the review and not my hilarious commentary as i watched

The ringing in armins ears was a very nice touch

Armoured titan continues to do all the heavy lifting

Uh ohhhh

Adding scenes with onyankopon at the fort was nice

Getting to see more of the nine was really nice

Pieck solos fr

Pieck getting got by the tybur warhammer and reiner by porco and marcel is kinda hilarious

Connie solos frrr

MIKASA JUST FUCKING RAPID FIRE 3 THUNDERSPEARS WTF

Dude ymir HATES reiner bringing up his whole past

WHAT REINER DOESNT GET EATEN IN THE MANGA WHAT THE FUCK

Nvm he does i just checked i forgot

HOW IS REINER SO FUCKING INVINCIBLE

Jean forgiving reiner L take jean

SNAKE TITAN

BOOOOO GABI THROW HER OFF

Why is falcos titan green

LETS GOO ANNIE

"Where's Arm- i mean, Pieck" ARUANI ARE SO WINNINGGGGGG

Booooo dont kill eren let him win

The eldians should kill all the marleyans fuck them shoot their asses

THEY HAVE LIGHTNING AND FUCKING BOWS AND ARROWS?????

AND FUCKING SWORDA???? AND AXES

Pieck solos again

PIECK KEEPS SOLOING

Jean does not solo bro please

Mikasa not being able to fuckung speak lmaooo

Fucking gabi tryna shoot the titans dumbass tell her ass levi

Cringe Levi L take stomp them all out he doesnt regret his choice bcuz hr knows erwin wpuldve done the based thing and wiped out humanity outside the walls

Slingshot mikasa we stan

Oopsie

Annie doing parkour off the spine of the titan shes the real mvp

Armin having an out of body experience

Damn armin hates himself, based tbh hes a lil bitch

Fucl yea all thosw bitches and the giraffes getting trampled

YO COLLOSSALS ON THE LAVA THATS SO SICK

Millenia of history getting wiped out only paradis deserves to stand 💪💪💪💪

Zeke building his lil castle

Ey its the explanation

"Being alive means dying eventually" zeke youre not smart please stfu

Baby eren ❤️

Zeke and armin talking about the same thing but seeing entirely different things might genuinely be my favourite image in the entire series holy shit

AND SCYTHES

Bertie boys fighring for the love of his life bros so cucked

Ymir saving reiners life bros so cucked

Fucking gabi and her stupid rifle hate that bitch

Aruani stays winning

Krugers so cool bro

Why does zeke love being naked so much

Zekes always fucking up erens shit man

Cucktoldt is back

Zeke getting to reconcile with grisha was nice

Levi gettjng the fucking brawl sound affect for killimg zeke lmaook

Booooo why didnt the baby get thrown

Imagine being the last guy to fall off that cliff thatd suck ass

Jean finally did something

Reiner continues to fucking carry the entire plan by himself

If only armin used his nuke on more civilians </3 him getting held up was sick asf tho

Gabi got to live and her parents booooo kill them all

LET REINER FUCKING DIE HOLY SHIT

LETS GO ERENS ALIVE ABSOLUTE LEGEND

Boooo the eldians and marleyans are working together L bozos kill the marleyans every man woman and child

How did connie figure that out

Honestly id accepy jean and connie dying if it meant gabis bloodline being ended right now

That was such a nice send off for connie and jean im kine of mad its a fake out tbh

REINER CARRYING ONCE AGAIN

Mikasa stop getting fucking headaches and do your job holy shit

Uh oh cabin time

The why are you crying symmetry oo

Cabin erens a lil bitch

HES SO TALL

ROCK HIS SHIT EREN

Mikasas cut looks so good in this

HE TURNED ARMINS FACE TO RUBBLEEEE

Mikasas such a traitor

WHYD SHE CUT HIS HAIR

Mikasas a necrophiliac and ymirs a voyeur

Child armin looks so mich like a girl in mappas style

Whys he tryna make mikasa the mc in the last chapter 🤡🤡🤡

Eren killed his own mom what a madlad

Get rocked eren

Whys armins face like rhat

Its the "worst manga panel of all time"

A sea of blood thats beautiful

80% not enough it shouldve been 90% with only the 10% on paradis left

"Im sure the hell we went through has happened over and over" i actually dont think this has happened before armin

Gross hes holding hair and teeth

"It was at out feet but you were always looking at the distance" is a very nice allegory for freedom and drive

0/10 armin didnt kiss him as well

Still mad we dont get to see anyone elses converstions with eren, especially floch

Pieck is so unserious

MICHE AND PETRA ON SCREEN LETS GO 10/10 FINALE

gabi on screen 0/10 finale

"Give him a proper burial" his is ass does NOT deserve that

"Prove it" cant prove a negative dumbass this is why marley deserves to die theyre all dumbasses

Ymirs all grown up and is it too early to say—

Erehisu stans are so fucking fuming rn holy shit

JAEGERIST INSIGNIA IS SO FUXKING COOL SHIT

Nicoli on screen 0/10 finale

HITCH ON SCREEN 10/10 FINALE

Reiner please calm down for 2 seconds

ANNIE IN A SUIT SHES SO SMALL I LOVE HER

Levi on screen L YO HIS EYE THOO THATS SICK

Can gabi and falco please fuck off

Paradis looks so pretty

Mikasa never threw away the scarf smh

Love the idea that shiganshina becomes a fucking cyberpunk capital and not just a big city

Anyway all jokes aside, the ending still feels a bit inconsequential seeing that no one dies in the final battle, considering how the rest of the show was. Eren's still a coward and a pussy and his inability to act with decisiveness is the reason shiganshina (and presumably the rest of Paradis) is inevitably destroyed, it also proves the Jaegarists point that no matter what happens theyll never stop trying to wipe out eldians, even centuries after titans are wiped out. Eren lied to the people of Paradis and got them killed so like 8 people could live half decent lives cleaning up his mess, most hollow victory of all time. Over all its like a 7/10 ending, there isnt any other way it really could have ended comsidering the story. The new paradis emblem is so fucming cool tho holy shit. Get Rumbled Stay Humbled.

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rayray-razorblade · 15 days

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//cw mentions of cvtting wrists

not a fan of 6arelyhuman and ketsaeki (is that how yiu spell it??) and odetaris music

people say they are scene artists when. no they arent??????? at least i dont think so,,,,,,, and im not talking about their fashion because thats a different story but their music. it makes me grimace and honestly i dont think its very close to scene music tbh. like it doesnt sound remotely close to my ears. i dont categorize them as scene !!! maybe somewhere else in the alternative spectrum, but hey, listen to what you wanna because at the end of the day what makes you actually 'scene' is mostly the fashion aspect of it all. but point still stands about their music !!!

(p.s. i have NOT seen anybody say odetari is scene, I was just assuming that those three would be better talked about if grouped together. their musics sound slightly similar in some areas methinks. still not really near to scene tho ! )

also the really weird lyrics saying stuff about like cutting ('Hey scene slut im still cutting tonight thats why my wrists are so sore'), the stuff about like being a slut/whore/whatever, etc. i dont like it that much (esp how it was NOT executed in the song very well)

and yes i do know that a lot of old scene and emo music sings about that stuff but like

the constant mentioning of it in their songs over and over girl pick a new topic to sing about except for slutting yourself out, drinking heavy, and self harming

or just dont make any more music at all poser ass hoe /hj

and yes, again, shut the fuck up, i know other artists sing and make music about hoeing out and drinking and stuff (examples; 3OH!3, Millionaires, and plenty of handfuls more) but like at least make good music if ur gonna make songs about that kind of topic jfccccccccc duuuuuude

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chloeangelic · 9 months

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Hey there! I’m not sure if this is a weird way of asking this, but I was wondering if you are BIPOC? I’m black and I absolutely adore your writing, always feels very inclusive in the way you describe your main characters :) Whether it’s conscious or not, I really appreciate it!!!!

Hey!! <3 Not a weird way of asking at all. I'm so glad to hear you say this cause I am white as hell and I really do my best to make my characters as inclusive as possible! I have a picrew of myself included in something I have coming up, and now I feel like my cartoon appearance is gonna be a jumpscare for my followers HAHA but maybe thats a good thing??

Back to the topic tho, cause it's something i've thought a lot about as someone who writes reader insert fics - I'll put all my thoughts under the cut to save peoples dashes

It seems like blushing and describing the ways joel touches the readers hair, or how its styled, is where a lot of people get nailed on characters seeming white coded specifically, so

I've made a conscious effort to use language that can apply to all hair types - even if they all do have medium-long hair to get the dramatic effect of Joel's actions - like hair being swept/brushed aside, tucked behind her ear, clipped up w/ pieces left out. he might "play" with the MCs hair but he doesnt typically "run his fingers through" it like she does with his, cause i know that's annoying or even impossible when you have wavy or curly hair. I generally talk about hair pieces (which could mean anything, could be lock of straight hair, a wave, a curl, a braid, a loc, or anything) or her entire hair length, instead of "strands". I always think to myself like okay, does this make sense for different hair types? and if i can picture it in my head then i green light it, haha. i have a fic coming up where the MCs hair is styled as "the little pieces in the front of your hair, twisted and clipped back while the rest fell over your shoulders" and i think that can apply to all long hair as well

i never describe the MC as blushing in terms of how it looks (blushing pink/red), i more so describe her being flustered or feeling a blush/flush creeping up cause there's a very physiological aspect to that. As for someone looking flushed, it's my nice and dainty way of saying they look SWEATY hahaha

eye color wise, i do compare the MCs eyes to crystals and stones from joel's POV, and that's because there are crystals/stones/gemstones of all diff colors, so it's just the sort of sparkle in her eyes when she looks at joel that i'm referring to

In terms of other types of inclusivity, i think the one thing people get nailed on is their MCs seeming small/skinny/petite, like skinny little reader who's 5 ft tall. my readers are p much always described as being curvy (i sometimes tag "reader has hella tits and ass" haha), and i think that can mean a wide range of body types. I'm 5'8 and curvy+muscular irl so my MCs are, in my head, on the taller and thicker side, whatever that means to the reader. I pretty much always mention something like ass jiggle, ass/thigh recoil, joel grabbing or squeezing ass/hips/flesh etc, all of which i think imply that the MC is thick to any degree.

another thing is that many of my fics have a size kink aspect to them, and the emphasis here is not on the MC being small but rather on Joel being VERY big, broad and strong. many many of my smut scenes include the MC being on top and joel moving/tossing/flipping her around, and thats him being strong and physically overwhelming. i also describe his hands are big, his shoulders being broad etc to emphasize that HE is big, not that the MC is small. i am not small, dainty or petite in any way irl so i dont think im even capable of writing MCs like that haha

this was a lot of text, sorry - if you have any questions feel free to lmk but this is basically my whole thought process!

thank you so much for reading <3 <3 <3

#chloe's word voms

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anosci · 1 year

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(151-165 albums etc that I’ve listened to this year, copied from twitter) (now with art. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12])

names and thoughts below cut

151/ John Tejada Presents Future Stars, Vol. 4 (2023) feels kinda retrofuture??? also, all over the place. yet just ok. hilights? Drew_and_ Pranav - Landing (massive cool! earthbound vibes my beloved) !nspector - Dead of Night (apt title)

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152/ PrismCorp Virtual Enterprises - ClearSkies™ (2013) midi miasma. it does have a nostalgic summery feel though. neat.

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153/ PrismCorp Virtual Enterprises - Home™ (2013) maybe its cheap but sometimes, midi musak is quick to fly into my heart. it's kind of hit and miss overall but also: finally, some respect for the XG classics!

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154/ Packed Rich - Warp Field (2023) there's a softness to each element, yet the percussion often sways a bit frenetic. a warm energy to contrast (and yet compliment) the cold timbres. "Fluid State" standout i think

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155/ Atom TM - HD (2013) man. i love this flavor of atomtm. the blindingly electric raw electropeppy whatever this is. kraftwerk 2. idk. exception: "My Generation". that's a really cool punk vibe but not my cup of tea. emphasis: still a really good tune.

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156/ Aleksi Perälä - Mental Union 3 (2013) maybe an odd place to start AP's catalogue, but im pulling from my 2013 list so: it's a really cool oldschool throwback vibe with a coat of shiny microtonal paint. apparently it dual released on rephlex? it's a perfect fit for the label.

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157/ Blawan - Dismantled Into Juice (2023) oh holy shit that is a SOUND. id be more verbose but idk what to add lol. fun to get excited by wild textures

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158/ Overmono - Good Lies (2023) summer party sound in a… hazy… 2step i think its called? it's neat but overall it doesn't seem to stick with me. vibes resonating at a different frequency ykno?

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159/ The Black Dog - The Grey Album (2023) broadly, a good album with some bleepy soundscapes. kinda chill. but… nothing really stood out for me? EXCEPT "Empire Statement Humanoid", which hits me just right …but that was on an earlier single, so hm.

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160/ Hiroki Kikuta - Indivisible OST (2019) i saw someone say this was kikuta's best work yet. that's a high mark to reach, but ill say: it's a solid ost all around. he rly flexes his action music here but I prefer his more chill swings (f.ex "Perpetual Heartbeat")

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161/ TOWA TEI - Lucky (2013) weird structure here. the start is filled with style that i dont care for, but cant deny its flavor. then it chills out into its own thing, which i enjoy more. however i think track 2 is cool and fascinating as it sounds ahead of its time to my ears

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162/ Machine Girl - GRLPWR EP (2013) cool chicago vibes… core? mixed bag imo. Howl and Krystle get it tho

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163/ VesperTown - Kaleidoscope (2014) very of the era, very bright and shiny. "Colour Wheel" is revealing to me that this is another sound i am nostalgic for

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164/ Sobria Ebrietas & Iliaque - Chemtrails (2023) opens full blast MASSIVE, perfect headphone material …then it kinda chills out and is ok overall. that opening track tho!!!!

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165/ Hudson Mohawke & Nikki Nair - Set The Roof (2023) hudmo always slappy. a bright and shiny gleam with just a touch of silliness. good vibes. its p short but slaps enough that im including it here lol

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#media thread

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last-answer · 11 months

Note

okayyso i dont Know what the name for most body parts are on english Uhh uhh almost. a little below my ears. ITS JUST THAT SHORT GAAAAAA FJWRJJWMRNFNF i had the biggest jumpscare ever because she did it on the morning and i was like half asleep so i didnt even notice how odd it was that she was cutting so much of my hair (i kinda just assumed she was cutting extra bits??? ignoring how much of my hair was falling out???) and then i looked at my reflection on the window on the car when i was leaving for school and DEAR GOD ITS SO MUCH SHORTER NOW RJSJGNWNGN aaa my hair also gets curly as hell JDKANFNSN part of the reason my grandma and my mom like it so much and insist on not cutting it ever So Yeaj actually i think i should feel grateful about the hair cut because now i don't have to ask for a hair cut again in like. a lot of time. hooray ? FJSJGJWN

OHHH MAN i haven't gotten out of school yet so my grandma hasnt been as annoying about cleaning stuff these days but i fear she might be once i get out of school and im SO SCARED GAh actually i also got my phone taken away for like a bit because i did bad on my grades (i got two 60's and that was really it) so nowadays i have to put in extra effort into school aaa LUCKILY FOR LIL OL ME MY TESTS HAVE BEEN GOING VERY WELL!!! i just have like two kinda annoying ones on the way and im done!!! with the tests that is. im still going to school. for some reason. Man. ALSO GOOD LUCK ON FINISHING YOUR GAME kiss that guy a lot you can do this 🎉

WOAH that's pretty short :O !? i too wld be pretty surprised if i saw that happening to me first thing in the mornign WNSKDFJSJ also i suppose thats a good part abt getting ur hair cut question mark i think i need a haircut soon actually bc ive noticed i have a ton of split ends el oh el

ALSO GOOD LUCK ON THE REST OF UR TESTS !!! getting out of school is always exciting but then the Horrors of doing cleaning that was ignored during the school year comes up . . . so sad :[ hopefully uu dont have too much to clean tho if ur grandma does ask uu to clean !! alsoaslo yippee thank uu !!! im not even on takerus route ( since i alr finished it ) but he's super relevant in the route im currently in so like. everytime he talks im just like holy shit can we kiss right now man. please

#☆ msgs !#☆ prin !#i cld talk abt tak.eru nd c.xm for hours im so insane abt that game HWNKSJDS

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s4turns-r1ngs · 3 years

Note

Hello Hello!!

I just wanted to say o love your Bench trio fics! They’re amazing!

I was also wondering if you could do The bench trio X Gn! Hybrid Reader! Where the reader is a Fox hybrid!

The reader likes to play tricks/pranks on people! Especially the Dream Team! And while setting up a prank, the bench trio sees them and asks why they’re doing! The reader tells them and Tommy and Tubbo ask if they can join! Dragging Ranboo into it!

After that they hang out a lot and pull pranks in people! The reader also stealing from The Dream Team and Techno sometimes!

A little thing you can add if you want is that the reader gifts a lot of gifts to their friends! Tommy keeps all the little gifts in a secret chest! Tubbo keeps them in a separate room on his house! And Ranboo writes the things you give him on his memory book and puts them in his ender chest so he never looses them!

ALSO!! The reader would sometimes kidnap Micheal to spend the entire day with him! Spoiling him to no end with Toys, clothes, food, etc! You dont have to add this tho!!

Take care! <33

DSMP - Sneaky

Summary: As a fox hybrid, it was only a matter of time before you pulled Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo into your plans. (Also bonus Michael content because Michael Is Beloved. <3)

Pronouns: they/them

Warnings: Swearing, General Chaos (its the bench trio, are you surprised), consensual kidnapping

-> [a/n] - oh my god??? thank you???? you're so nice?????? sldfjlskdjfsldjfslkfjl,, i hope this is good! also first part is in third person pov, because i need to get better at writing that lol. readers dialougue is blue :]

-> p!c!benchtrio (and michael too <3) + reader, the beginning has a little p!bbh + reader too :]

> divider that i can't add bc im not on mobile. sadge <

[y/n] smiled mischievously as they rounded the corner, making sure that the unsuspecting victim (which at the moment, is badboyhalo) couldn't see them. they wanted to make sure that their trick worked, so that they could possibly use it on someone else later. of course, they would apologize to bad, because they still value him as a friend, but even friends play pranks on each other every now and again.

their ears perked up as they heard talking from around the corner they just turned. peaking their head around, [y/n] was greeted with some of their closest friends: tommy, tubbo, and ranboo.

"oh, hey guys!" they greeted, with a small wave as they repositioned themself so that they could talk to their friends, and watch bad at the same time.

ranboo smiled. "hey [y/n]!"

tommy and tubbo ran up to them, a wide smile on the latter's face, while tommy just looks like he doesn't want to be here. (obviously he does, but he's tommy. it's not really surprising at this point.) either way, he mutters out a "hello" with a smile he seems to be repressing.

tubbo looks around the corner. "so what are you doing?"

"oh!" [y/n] exclaims, tail swishing ever so slightly faster. "oh! i'm just testing out a new...'trick'!"

ranboo raises an eyebrow in suspicion. "a...'trick'? what are you-"

the fox hybrid holds up a finger, moving their body so that they were hidden around the corner. "shhh. it's about to happen!"

the trio watches [y/n]'s eyes light up as the demon, once dry, is covered in water. they all hear him shout and see him look around, as if to try and catch the culprit. bad glances over at the corner just in time to see [y/n] duck behind it.

"[y/n]!"

"shit." they turn towards the three, and with another smile they stand properly. "sorry guys, gotta blast! nice seeing you, though!"

they hear tommy let out his signature laugh as they run, a nine and a half foot tall demon chasing after you.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

giving gifts! (hcs bc yes)

tubbo:

-> ngl you probably woke him up in the middle of the night bc you found something cool. or made something cool. either or.

-> he will take it regaurdless of whether or not he's tired as shit or wide awake. free stuff from fox friend? cool. give.

-> he probably has a shelf in his house with all your little gifts on it.

-> he may not say it immediately most of the time (bc you DID wake him up at like two in the morning) but he is greatfull for all of your gifts :]

tommy:

-> bro i hc that this fucker LOVES shiny shit

-> (i mean, so do i but that's besides the point)

-> n e ways

-> you give him a shiny rock? here. have a cool stick in return.

-> raccoons are crazy man. he (like you) has a collection of tiny little things too. sometimes you trade. bc that's friendship <3

-> it doesn't matter when, bc he will always be awake when you want to give him something. he will 9 times out of 10 give you soethibg in return

-> if you wear jewelry, then he probably gave it to you :]

ranboo:

-> for some reason, he's also always awake whenever you give him gifts.

-> and he, like tubbo, aslo has a set place to put all of your gifts

-> he even writes about it down in his memory book so he doesn't forget about it <3

-> ranboo thinks all the little rocks you find and decide to give him are vv cool.

-> you: hey ranboo!! look at this cool rock i found!!

-> ranboo: that is so very cool and/or poggers can i please have it

-> another shiny stuff lover <3

-> bc i hc that mr. boo's chaarcter wears earrings and stuff, he decides to take one of the cool rocks you gave him and turn it into one!

-> you point it out and he just smiles and says: ye i know :) i did it bc your cool :)

-> and then you just die from embaressment bc who wouldn't if that happened

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

bonus michael thing bc i actually really like that idea:

you lift yourself a little further on the roof and knock on the window, opening it not long after.

"michael!" you whisper-shout. "michael! are you there?"

a small little zombie piglin pops his face into your view.

"hey, buddy! come here!"

he waddles closer to the window, chicken plushie in hand. a little snort makes it out of his mouth when he stops.

placing your arms on the window sill, you begin speaking. "alright, so i have a plan. do you wanna go out for a bit?"

the piglin nods his head eagerly.

you smile. "alright cool. i just need you to climb out this window and then we'll go."

michael looks at you wearily, clutching his plush a little tighter.

"don't worry, mike. it'll be fine. i'll catch you if you fall." you tell him reassuringly.

your ears twitch, picking up some noise from downstairs.

he walks over slowly, still holding onto his plush. carefully, he climbs out the window. picking him up, you slide a note into the room, shut the window, and slide down the roof, landing on the ground without a problem.

you hear a door open from inside and begin walking away, michael squealing excitedly in your arms. it's not long before you hear someone open the window. with a smile, you turn around and wave.

"[y/n]! what the-"

tubbo cuts him off. "-fuck!"

"don't worry guys i'll make sure to bring him back!"

"oh thank god-"

"eventually!"

"[y/n]!"

you mock a salute. "see you later guys!"

and then you run off.

#saturn.writes #platonic bench trio x reader #bench trio x reader #platonic ranboo x reader #ranboo x reader #platonic tubbo x reader #tubbo x reader #platonic tommy x reader #tommyinnit x reader #dsmp x reader #platonic dsmp x reader

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taegyuun · 3 years

Text

enhypen receiving flowers

genre: fluff

pairing: enhypen x reader

word count: 600

warnings: swearing probs

request: hi i saw you were asking for reactions so i was wondering if you could do like an enhypen reaction to receiving flowers or something like that (since it’s almost valentines and all) have a good day bb!! 💓💓

note: hey im so sorry this is so late, i havent had motivation to write anything especially bc of my mental health however im going to use this to try and get back into writing :D

♡ — LEE HEESEUNG

gasps

makes sure to look at the flowers from every angle and profusely thank you

probably would be in such awe bc he never really expected you to get him flowers

loves it tho and does not complain a single time

he gives you a fat kiss on the cheek and hugs you nice and tight

ends up becoming a reoccurring thing between the two of you !

rest of the boys under the cut !

♡ — JAY PARK

BLUSHES ??? HELLO ????

tries so hard not to act surprised or whatever but mans has to blink away tears alright ✋

accepts them with loads of gratitude obviously

says it should be him getting you flowers not the other way round

you obviously disagree with the statement but he plugs his ears with his fingers and starts yelling “LA LA LA !!!” over you

later when you guys are cuddling or smth he just kissed your temple and whispers a super soft thank you :(

♡ — JAKE SIM

blushes sm no. 2

he CANNOT get that smile off of his faces its unreal

my goodness he sees the flowers and his eyes light up and hes like “HOLD UP” and pulls flowers from behind his back

like wow you two are really in sync huh

he hugs you so tightly he seems like hed love to receive flowers

probably goes to a flower shop idk what theyre called in english and like chooses flowers with you

yall are so cute the lady who works there knows yalls names and everything !!

♡ — PARK SUNGHOON

pls hed get so shy 💀

not even funny hed like look at the flowers and like bring his lips into his mouth and look away do yall know what im trying to say-

hed very shyly say thank you and accept them but tbh you nearly gave him a heart attack so maybe dont do it too often ✋

hed love it sm tho it’d make him feel super appreciated

probably learns flowers and their names from his mum so he could get you some cute ones too

♡ — KIM SUNOO

you walk in and hes like *gasp* WOW THANK YOU !!!

hugs you super tightly before replacing the dying flowers in the vase with the new ones-

yeah he gets flowers a lot what can i say 😩

loves them

probably teaches you the names and meanings and if you already know then yall geek about it together

same like jake you guys go on flower dates a lot of the owners of the flower store know you two so well its adorable

yall spend hours in there just talking

♡ — YANG JUNGWON

MANS GOES SO RED !!! SO RED !!

he cannot keep a straight face and he cannot keep the blush off his face

he covers his face with his hands out of pure desperation to hide his blush

obviously fails miserably-

he shyly accepts them and makes sure they look super pretty in a nice vase

gets sad when they die tho :/

poor bb is like “i dont wanna throw them out tho :(“

and you have to tell him its ok bc flowers die and he still feels bad

makes sure to give you some back too

♡ — NISHIMURA RIKI

surprised pikachu face

hed be so surprised at the sight of flowers

hed be like thank you ! but wouldnt really know what to do ig?

i mean hes a 15 year old boy what can we expect

hed be very happy with them tho dw !

who knows maybe he really likes flowers and is actually insanely happy

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loousir · 3 years

Text

[Satyr} Insecurities

Soft Male Presenting NB Satyr x Male Reader

Dakota

Warnings: Dakota get comforted by you after a sudden breakup and you end up confessing, they realized they like you too, mentions of alcohol (tho not explicitly stated other than beer), two faced boyfriend (now ex)

Masterlist

---------------------------------------------------------

Currently, you are on your way to third wheel for your best friend, Dakota. This guy that Dakota was dating was one that you really did not like. He was all sweet and kind around Dakota but the second they turned their back, he was a complete jerk. You knew you should tell Dakota but they just looked so happy being with this guy that you didn't want to ruin this momentary happiness.

Anyhow, both of you were walking down the street to a small yet busy pub that he had asked Dakota to meet. Dakota had asked him if you could come and he said yes but you knew he would have said no if that didn't ruin his "perfect boyfriend" image. You developed feelings for Dakota years ago, long into your friendship with him but you never confessed. You knew they didn't feel the same so you decided to just try to be the very best friend you could be.

Dakota pointed out the place you two were going and you followed them up to the front door. You opened it for them and they almost instantly spot their boyfriend, going over to him and hugging him. You smiled a sad smile and looked at the two before joining them at their table. He had sent Dakota off to get drinks for the three of you. "How have you been (R/n)?" He looks over to you with a not glare for once. "I'm breaking up with him."

Your eyes widened slightly. "What?" He nods. "Yeah I got hit pretty hard in the face with reality after the last time we met." His whole demeanor had changed from what it was before. You tried to say something but Dakota came back with a beer bottle and two glasses. They set one of the glasses down in front of you and handed the bottle to their soon to be ex who's demeanor went back to perfect boyfriend mode.

You smiled at Dakotas smile before taking a drink of what they got you. "Ah, (R/n)! Did you see the new episode yesterday? It was so good!" Dakota said before going on to ramble about bits and pieces. (R/n) smiled and nodded, chatting about said episode with Dakota.

A few minutes had past with the three of you talking before (R/n) decided it was time to bring the bad news. "Dakota." They looked up to (R/n) who looked like he just accidentally kicked a puppy. Dakota noticed and went to grab his hands to ask what's wrong but he pulled away. You looked away out of courtesy but still listened in. "I'm sorry Dakota. I dont think we can be together anymore. Its really me, not you. You've been nothing but good to me and I want you to be happy but it can't be with me."

"Maybe we'll see each other around. Don't worry about paying for drinks, I'll cover it on the way out." He said standing up to leave. Dakota couldn't seem to process what what happening as they watched their now ex-boyfriend walk away. "Kota, let's go." You said standing and grabbing their hand.

They didn't move but instead started to shake slightly. "Dakota, please." You pulled them up and practically dragged them out of the pub and stopped when you were a block away from it. Dakota hadn't said a word but held on tightly to your hand. "Do you wanna go back to your house?" You asked, looking to them. They nodded softly, more hair moving to cover their usually covered eyes.

You squeezed their hand gently as the two of you walked back to Dakotas place. It wasn't too far from the pub so neither of you saw the point in taking the car. After a few minutes of walking, Dakota stopped, making you look back. "Im... S-so sorry... I... I cant..." They tried to say something but ended up almost collapsing, legs shaking like crazy. You caught them before they could and opted to carry them the rest of the way.

Dakota holds onto you and cries into your neck. You gently rub the back of their head and whisper reassuring words into their ears. After a few more minutes of walking, you make it to the house and carefully unlock the door and close it behind you before taking them upstairs to their bedroom. "I'll go grab some water. I'll be right back ok?"

You head back down stairs, lost in thought as you grabbed water from the fridge before heading back up. You didn't expect to see what you did though.

Your body stood ridgid with shock. Standing in front of you, staring back with wild and afraid eyes was your best friend of 5 years. They looked like they were wearing pants but they weren't. Their legs were covered in dark brown fur, same colour as their hair. Your eyes followed the soft digitigrade shape down to the cloven hooves in place of feet. A small tail to match laid tight against their body.

"Dakota..?"

You breathed out hesitantly. They seemed to snap out of whatever trance they were in for a moment and they started to shake. "Hey... Hey whats wrong?" You asked as you very slowly approached them, as if the wrong step could send them sprinting away. They didn't say a word and you eventually got to their side. You very carefully grabbed their hand but they pulled it away faster than you could blink.

They looked at you with such fear that you could barely even tell if it was your sweet Dakota anymore. A tense moment passed as you had seen his eyes for the first time. You gently took their hand again and pressed their palm against your chest. They could feel your heart pounding, theirs was probably just as fast. You and Dakota had this thing where if one of you were panicking, the other would place a hand on the heart of the one whos panicking. It usually ended with a hug but it was really just a comfort thing that Dakota had started with you when they had a panic attack in public. Once they had seemed to realized, some lever must have flipped as they pulled you into a tight hug.

"(Y/n)..."

You hugged them back, gently placing a hand on the back of their head to keep them close. A silent minute had past before you felt your shoulder getting wet again. "I'm so sorry." It was barely a whisper but you heard it. Neither of you said a word after that. Dakota pulled their head out from the crook of your neck and rested their forehead against your chest.

"I didn't want you to find out like this..." Their voice was small as they spoke, hands gripping tightly to the back of your shirt. You carefully set a hand on their cheek, coaxing them to look up to you. Their eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying. The bright green, almost yellow irises stood out against their pink-ish scleras. "Your eyes are so beautiful." You mumbled out without thinking.

Dakota blushed and looked away. "I know you probably don't wanna talk so let's sit down and I'll go first." You lead them over to the bed and both of you sat down. "Judging by your reaction you didn't want me knowing about the whole... Lower half thing." You paused to look at Dakota who nodded. "Sorry." You said, still processing everything. Dakota shook their head. "N-no... I..."

"I don't know what to say..." Dakota said with a heavy sigh. "It's ok. You don't have to say anything-" They cut you off before you could continue. "(Y/n) I've lied to you for 5 years about it! Of course I have to say something!" You looked away from them and sighed. "I would be lying if I said it didn't upset me that you never told me what you were." Without hesitation, you grabbed Dakotas hand again, staring at it as they let you intertwine your fingers. "But I always had a feeling you weren't exactly human anyways... Of course I wanted to know but I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable around me."

Dakota looked to your eyes, tears welling up in theirs again. You could see that they wanted to apologize for not saying anything but you just shook your head. "Kota, I could care less that your a Satyr. If anything I like you even more." You mumbled the last part but they still heard it anyway, signaled by the blush that rose to their cheeks yet again. Dakota placed their free hand on your cheek and made you look back to them.

"I love you so fucking much Kota. You don't even know. I'm sorry. This is probably a lot on top of me finding out about probably your biggest secret and the... Y'know." Dakota shook their head. "Its all been so overwhelming. I'm honestly surprised I haven't passed out yet." You let a small huff of a laugh pass as they pulled your face closer to theirs. "You seemed to have calmed down a lot." You mumbled out.

Dakota nodded. "Yeah. I guess I'm... Relieved... I've known you long enough that I know you when you aren't feigning truths." They pause for a moment. You took this moment to observe their tear stained face. "(Y/n). I dont ever want you to leave me." Their voice had been shaky since you found out about them being a Satyr but it was even worse when they said that. "I couldn't truly live if you weren't in my life Kota."

They looked at you with wide eyes. "Sorry, said something weird didnt-" You were cut off by a pair of soft lips against yours. You carefully kissed back, tangling your hand in their soft, fuffy hair. The second both of you pulled away, Dakota smiled and pulled you into a tight hug. "Kota-" "I think him breaking up with me was the best decision ever." You furrowed your brows, really confused.

"What? Why? I though you two were happy together." Dakota nodded. "I was happy. But I also saw how unhappy you were. A-and it made me realize... Just how much I wanted to make you happy because you make me happy." You couldn't say anything but just looked at them with surprise. "Can I... Can I kiss you?" You asked quietly. Dakota laughed and nodded, pulling you into a kiss.

Your hands decided to test the waters a bit and you gently ran a hand through the soft fur that coat their leg. They shivered and gripped onto your shirt, leaning into the kiss more. You pulled away and let your hand linger on their thigh. "Did... Did you really mean it when you said that you liked me more knowing I was a Satyr?" You blushed and laughed awkwardly while looking away. "Yeah... I didn't realize I said that out loud."

Dakota let out a gentle laugh and pulled you into a tight hug. "Let's take a nap, I'm tired after crying so much..." You nodded and kissed their neck softly as the two of you laid down.

"Please stay by my side."

I originally started this one shot at the paragraph that starts at "Your body stood ridgid with shock." so sorry if everything above it seemed weird-

---

1890

#male reader #monster x male reader #male monster x reader #x male reader #monster male x male reader #monster male #m4m #mxm #satyr x male reader

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peachiimilquetea · 3 years

Note

something angsty with tenya leaving fem reader for the event? ty! prompt: “you can’t leave me. i don’t know how to survive without you.”

“𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞. 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮.” + tenya iida

a/n: bro… i don’t really like angst without the potential for a somewhat happy ending so i hope you’re ok with the fact that it’s not completely sad. i did pull on the heartstrings quite a bit tho, i hope you enjoy! check out the event here

contains: angst (obviously), iida being heavily influenced by his family, tensei to the rescue lowkey, crying, insecurities, mentions of alcohol, ambiguous ending, miscommunication

length: 2.0k

at first things had started off small.

iida worked long hours as the work of his brother’s hero agency fell on his shoulders. he tried his best to make time for you, but it always felt like your schedules could never line up just right.

you tried to work something out, quick calls on break times and cute messages around the house to remind you of one another, but most efforts fell flat.

then things started to get worse.

long and empty nights were spent building up resentment towards the man you had married. he was always doing something, something that took precedence over the vows you made when you walked down the isle no more than three years ago.

you knew his family didn’t like you that much, feeling that a marriage for love was a waste of such a powerful commitment. a commitment that could built them an empire, and boost the rank of their hero agency, solidifying a legacy for them.

tenya defied them for you, boldly declaring that he would marry whoever he wanted and that you were in it for the long haul. you were the girl of his dreams, he said, and anything that got in the way of his happiness was not something he would subscribe to. that only made them hate you more.

so when his texts of encouragement grew shorter and more sparse, and he began to have more special responsibilities bestowed upon him by none other than his father, you knew it was on purpose.

unfortunately, it was an effective strategy to chip away at a young and unseasoned marriage.

“tenya can you please just check your schedule? i really want to spend more time with you.”

he sighed and rubbed his temples as he sat in his office. why were you bothering him with something so insignificant? you knew how important this transition of power was for the iida family, for the legacy of ingenium, but you still persisted.

he could feel the anger beginning to build until he looked in your eyes and saw the sadness brimming in them. his heart squeezed in his chest as he watched you, his wife, plead with him to spend time together. when had things come to this?

“i’ll try my best, but i cant promise anything.”

at this point, that was better than anything you could’ve hoped for.

with a kiss to his forehead you left him alone to get the heaps of paperwork he had to do, spirits lifted at the prospect of spending time with him again. just like the way it used to be.

you checked the time on the microwave for the 9th time. fifty-seven minutes had passed and your husband was officially late.

you should have seen it coming really, empty promises were becoming more and more common amongst the two of you. he would promise to try harder and you would promise to cut him more slack, the constant push and pull never being enough for either party.

getting up from the barstool at your kitchen island you made your way to the wine cooler to get a drink. not even bothering to pick up a glass you slumped on the couch, kicking off your shoes and splaying yourself out, just wanting the cushions to swallow you whole and dull the aching in your heart.

he wasn’t coming.

he was never coming.

you laid passed out on the couch when iida finally came home 2 hours later. he was only stopping by for a quick break, then going back out on patrol and he completely forgot about the things he said, smiling through tired eyes as he thought, this time i’ll make it up to her.

at the very least he could clean you up and tuck you in. he could brace himself for the impending fight later, but he was concerned about you. you never drank, not unless there was something wrong.

iida easily hoisted you up over his shoulder, discarding the various wine bottles and taking you to your shared room, although he wasn't sure if it was still considered shared anymore.

he laid you on the bed softly, changing you into one of his old shirts. his fingers ghosted over your cheek as he watched you sleep, the reality of where he was sitting heavy on his heart.

he loved you and yet there was nothing he could do to help at this moment. he had to leave for night patrol. he had to leave you.

his gentle touches roused you from your sleep and your eyes felt heavy as you tried to blink them open.

“you came?” you breathed, voice sounding foreign even to yourself.

iida gave you a small smile, “im sorry.”

your demeanor did a 180 at his apology. he was sorry. he was always sorry. but sorry couldn’t fix this. not when it had been so broken.

you winced and sat up, “sorry for what? sorry that you broke your promise for the thousandth time or sorry that you’ve been such a shit husband for the past few months?!”

“______-”

“no tenya. you do this every single time! every time i want to spend time with you theres always something more important! what could be more important than your wife?!”

“______ you know my father-”

you laughed bitterly at the mention of his dad. he always had to be such a good little iida child, always on daddy’s beck and call. it made you sick.

“your father doesn’t even want us to be together! cant you see that he’s doing this on purpose! youre a grown man! not a child permanently tied to his mommy and daddy!” you spat

“hes giving more responsibility for the sake of the agency! for the ingenium legacy! why are you always so selfish when it comes to these things?”

“selfish? selfish?” you asked, incredulous. you couldn’t believe your ears.

“yes selfish. do you know how much i sacrificed to be with you? how much i already have on my plate on top of trying my best to make time for you?”

you stared in astonishment.

sacrifice?

what had he sacrificed for this relationship? he got to do what he wanted, come and go as he pleased with virtually no regard for how you felt or what you did. what sacrifice was there in that way of living?

“fuck you, tenya.”

tenya took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face. he chose his words carefully before finally saying, “i cant do this. im leaving.”

you could hear a pin drop in the room. you felt your blood pound in your ears as you stood up quickly, dizzy from the alcohol but still trying to process the words you had just heard.

leaving?

“youre leaving?”

“yes, i have to go. im not doing this with you, not now.”

your heart felt like it had been smashed by a sledgehammer, as you tried to regulate your breathing. leaving. he was leaving.

“w-wait,” you feebly attempted to cling onto him as he gathered a few of his things.

“tenya you cant leave me.”

“_____ i do not want to do this right now,” he sighed, easily shaking you off and moving to collect more things. his words were buzzing around on the inside of your skull. he was leaving.

leaving without so much of a second thought. he had been planning this. still unsteady on your feet you hobbled after him as quickly as possible, desperation taking over every fiber of your body. you didn't want to lose him, you just wanted your husband back, you happiness back.

“y-you cant do that! you cant leave me! i dont know how to survive without you, tenya, please-”

“_____, just go to bed. you’re drunk.”

you trailed him around the house,“no, you don’t get to decide when this is over. i'm the one whos been hurting for months you cannot just leave me by myself.”

iida spared you one last glance before grabbing his bag, “goodbye, _____”

crushed, you sank to your knees, leaning on the couch for support. you felt like you were dying., hell, you probably were dying. you had never had so much to drink in your life, and you were desperate to make the pounding pain in your chest stop.

you cried yourself to sleep that night, waking up to the sunlight coming through the window with a splitting headache. you felt like your skull was trying to crack itself open from the inside but you shakily got to your feet, remembering bits and pieces from your fight with iida.

you could tell he didn't come home last night; everything was exactly the way you had left it last night. the house alarm was still on, and his shoes were gone.

he actually left.

anger bubbled in your chest as you thought about what had actually happened. you would not let him get the last laugh, or be the last one left, the one waiting on him patiently to pick up the pieces after trying to keep it together. you would leave too, as much as it hurt, and show him just how selfish you could be.

in a flash, you haphazardly packed a bag with essentials and had texted your friends that you needed a place to stay for a few days. you didn’t get into specifics- your heart ached too much to relive the events of the previous night- but you told them you had reached your limit and you needed to take some time to cool off.

alternatively, iida did not sleep that night. after finishing patrols, he stayed at his brother’s apartment out of pure convenience, not feeling prepared to face you after everything that had transpired between the two of you.

the dark-haired man laid staring at the ceiling of tensei’s guest bedroom, wracking his brain and trying to pinpoint how things had gone south so fast. he wanted to fix things, but really didn’t know how. he couldn’t even tell you what was broken, let alone how to begin to fix them.

his brother had tried to give him advice after listening to the entire story, but there was only so much he could do. he knew that you were right, their father was keeping him from you on purpose, slowly making tenya think that he was in the right in an attempt to break you up, but he couldn't be the one to tell him.

tenya had to come to that conclusion himself. he needed to be the one to set boundaries and save your relationship, but from the looks of it, soon any attempts would be futile.

“_____? darling?” iida called as he came into your home. immediately noticing your missing shoes, he moved to the bedroom in a flash, checking to see if you had just moved them or something.

the room was a mess, drawers left open and clothing strewn across the bed and floor. the bathroom had been cleared of almost all your essentials, and a note was left on the dresser. gingerly, iida picked it up and read it, offering up a silent prayer that it didn't say what he thought it did.

i don't know when you'll see this, or if you ever will. if you're reading it, that means you came back home but you will not find me there.

im tired, tenya.

im tired of always being the one to extend the olive branch or bend over backwards for you.

i refuse to be in that position any longer. i love you… i love you so much it hurts sometimes because i know this isn't the way things were supposed to be. but you left, and so i decided to leave too.

if a way to fix things exists, i want us to find it, but right now i need some time to reevaluate us and what that means. i hope you understand, i know you will.

if you want to reach out, im open to talking about this further, but for right now i need to think.

goodbye.

--------

#peachiileaf50!#[🍑]peachiimilquetea #[🍑]peachiiwrites #scenario #tenya iida #mha iida #iida angst #angst #tenya iida x reader #iida x female reader #peachiileafsfw

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liquidstar · 3 years

Note

hi this is evilmario666 anon. im ok now and i realized that despite the misogyny that does exist on account of genre and perspective re:zero actually understands the subaru archetype of guy very well and i was jumping to conclusions too quickly based on what i was seeing. it was impolite and unfair of me and id like to apologize both to re;zero and you, i am no longer on the verge of a blood rage. thanks once more because i am genuinely having a ball of a time . lost track of arc numbers but im on the one where subaru accidentally SPOILERS kills emilia becaus he tries to reveal return by death

NO YEA ANON ITS OK sorry i didnt respond to ur first ask last night i was too tired to read long things lol

but i TOTALLY get how you feel like subaru early on legit annoyed me with his behavior, and it was completely intentional. not that he didnt have his endearing traits, i think the first thing that made me really like him was the fact that he got to know the names of the village kids and legit cared about them a lot because before getting to know them he just considered them and everyone around him as "npcs", and the village kids in particular arent "important" characters. (also dont take all of what im about to say as subaru hate, having read most of the story now i legit love the guy but im just talking abt his portrayal in the show in the early arcs)

basically arc 1 just served to introduce us to characters and concepts so there wasnt all too much of an arc there, subaru is dense as hell so he still came out of all that thinking he was gonna get his Isekai Harem Fantasy and so when he arrived at the mansion in arc 2 he literally treated all the characters like tropes (even before that though he would assume emilia's behavior based on what the tropey response would be). he just didnt see any of them as people and thats where a lot of the conflict came from, in order to overcome in that arc he had to actually befriend both rem and ram in a way that actually mattered, and he really did start to care about them as people and we know that because of the story he tells ram about the ogres.

arc 3 though addresses his mindset about this hero fantasy he has a lot more bluntly, because while he may have grown some in arc 2, he still has a huge martyr complex and places emilia into this role where he gets to be her hero even though she didnt ask for that, and their fight about it is simultaneously really satisfying to see him called out, and hard to watch because hes being such a child about it, hes so incredibly entitled to her at this point. the show luckily frames him as completely in the wrong and shows us the nastiest parts of this mindset in him. one of my favorite scenes in this arc is the one where he accidentally kills her, but just before that. when he rushes into the room and yells at her about how shes useless and unable to save anyone and we focus on her face, and she just says "why are you crying?" and the cut zooms into her eye to reveal that he was staring at his own reflection in it, he was talking to himself. that just perfectly describes what she is to him at that point- a beacon to project all his insecurity and doubt. re:zero loves using those eye-reflection shots, and i love seeing them because my absolute favorite theme in the story is "self-recognition through the other"

subaru does legitimately learn and become better, he acknowledges how shitty hes been in his convo with rem and it gets turned into a really sweet moment between the two of them, and it gets memed a lot but "i love emilia" is honestly a really good line because its in that moment that he stops trying to either run away or project and face his feelings genuinely in a way that doesnt throw her under the bus. by the time arc 4 rolls around hes so much more likable, and his dynamic and relationship with emilia becomes honestly really cute, the way they talk is sort of dorky and charming (spoilers, but even when they have another argument that calls back to the one they had in arc 3, you feel its coming from a legit place now, and when he kisses her he does so only after getting explicit consent and telling her its okay to dodge). hes so much more sympathetic and you really root for him. i loved the choice to not show any of his backstory until arc 4, the point where youre supposed to be on his side completely.

all that being said though its NOT a series i think is perfect nor do i think its super feminist, i just think its a good deconstruction of these isekai tropes and calls them out in a blunt way that i enjoy seeing. there are lots of things about it that i dont like too though, some of the character designs sort of bother me and seem antithetical to this, part of that is that the writer and character designer are different people but it still passed. but i still enjoy the story and characters enough that it doesnt totally sully my enjoyment of it (some are more egregious than others tho). at the end of the day im so along for this whole ride, i love the way it explores its themes, again especially the whole "self-recognition through the other" thing but also suicidal ideation and of course the deconstruction of what the isekai genre has become.

TL;DR: the series perfectly understands the type of nerdboy that watches isekai anime and wants to be sent to another world just like their favorite blank-slate nerdy protagonist and it directly calls them out, saying "no. youre not gonna be an OP hero who saves the day and gets all the bitches with that fucking attitude. youre not gonna be able to escape your insecurities via this escapism, you treat the women around you like trash, youre not entitled to any of this, youre just pathetic." and though subaru is a character that gets better many of the viewers of the series straight up plugged their ears to its themes so they can jack off to rem lol.

#re:zero

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dellinah · 3 years

Text

Ik yall are tired of me never shutting up about thylacines. So have one more post about thylacines

Ok let's get this over with

They released the pics for the lastest alleged thylacine sighting

*siiigh* i'm tired of this, man

I'm sorry but this just doesn't cut it for me. I joked in the past about how every sighting is done in a 2005 camera and it shows anything BUT a good position of the animal and... yeah. Hardly a joke now

Now I'm not saying this isnt one and I am FAR from a wildlife expert and I don't mean to claim I am or that I am better than the people who devoted literal decades of their lives to this. I am not disrespecting their work which I am sure is a very difficult job and fruitless as well. Im literally a furry who spends too much time on the internet i should by definition lose the right to say things what do I know

But I do think it's pretty shitty to claim you have proof and anounce you found one and then release... that. It is just not conclusive at all. You can't look at it and say THYLACINE. It could be something else. The other expert said it's a pademelon. If you say you're sure you found one i expect at least a pic of its face, or body in good view

Tasmanian tigers had very long, thin muzzles that were already present in the babies who were pretty much just adults in smaller sizes. I find it hard to believe you wouldnt see at least the tip of it from that pose as the head is a bit sideways. It makes the muzzle seem too small?

The ears are also not exactly the same shape (tho maybe it's bc they're folded) and the fur seems a bit too puffy (that could be bc it's really young, but thylacines were not puffy at all)

They also released this one

The pic with the babies shows the babies had very distinct stripes all the way down the butt like adults, and while you can't say this one doesn't have them, you'd think they'd be more visible. Theyre supposed to go till the very base of the tail and that base seems a bit bare

Unfortunately the ankles are not clear in that one which makes it hard to tell. Thylacines had extremely low ankles, and it's the first thing to look for when a sighting shows a thylacine's body, bc half the time you can tell if it's a dog/fox/dingo or a thylacine by how low or high the ankle is

It's literally like 1/5 of the leg, while dogs' ankles are almost half their legs

The butt seemed a bit too round to me. I wasn't sure how they would look from behind so I checked the footage from 1936 to see if i could get a shot. And I was like... I'm kinda right? It's less round than their pic

Thylacines were very thin and stiff animals, the tail barely moves. That animal is thin, but it seems a bit too round still. Maybe it's bc it's a baby, but again... hard to tell

Also their other pic looks like this

Whyy

Some experts said it might be a thylacine, one even said it's a 50% chance and a safe bet. So it's definitely the best one we've had! And maybe there are some thylacines there still.

But it's not conclusive

I wish they'd set up cameras in different poses in the same place to get more clear shots, ans FACE shots. I hope they do it now! And either figure out options this animal could be or prove once and for all that thylacines managed to survive

Till then... I'll say they're gone and the animal in the pic is an animal from behind we can't identify. I never claimed to be an expert bc im not, but... I don't see a thylacine

And its still shitty to claim you found one when even experts cant agree. So... dont do that. Im sure he was excited bc he is sure but that cant be confirmed

So yeah. If you ask me, till PROVEN wrong, Thylacines really are gone

As we are they once were, as they are so shall we be

#thylacine #tasmanian tiger #tasmanian wolf #thats my theory anyway #maybe im wrong #but idk those pics aint enough #extinction got to them bc of us and it sucks

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plxnetyasaii · 3 years

Text

beach crush

warnings cuss words but thats about it

it was a normal sunny day and you were doing the usual hanging out with tomans top

Y’all didn’t do much but just ride around town doing random stuff tho it did take a long time to see whos bike you were gonna ride on

Eventually you decided to say something “ill just ride on ryoheis bike with him”

“What? Really” said peh with a faintly flushed face

“Ooooo”said pah jabbing peh in the arm with elbow giving him a smirk

“Yea why not” mitsuya said also giving him a smirk

Ryohei hopped on his bike and patted the seat behind him “get on then” he said avoiding eye contact

To be honest you thought he didn’t like you with the way he avoided you and that it was completely a one sided crush

But maybe it-…nvm I won’t get my hopes up

You guys were going to a convenience store but it was kinda far from the beach and the beach was kinda far from the ‘hide out’

So it was gonna take awhile to go to the convenience store and get snacks then go all the way back to the beach

“Could you uh…loosen your grip, your hugging me kinda tight” peh said keeping his eyes on the road

“Huh? Oh! My bad” you say giving a awkward laugh

“No no its fine” as he says that you can see his ears turn slightly red

You soon arrive at the store they all get up to go inside but then ryuguji said

“We all can’t go someone has to watch the bikes”

“I can watch the bikes” you say with a cheeky look

“No.” They all say at the same time not to be mean but you tend to wander off a lot and they dont wan you out here alone

“Geez fine then how about just 1 person go get the snacks then” you say a tad bit annoyed

“Ill go.” Says pehyan

They all make a list of what they want and handed him money for their stuff..it wasn’t much since the only ones who really get an allowance is mitsuya ryuguji and the twins

So as he heads into the store they all turn to you with a big smile

“So do you like him”-nahoya

“Big bro you can just ask her that!”-souya

“Do you like him tho”-manjiro

“Who?”you said curiously

“Peh yan ofc” chifuyu said rolling his eyes

“Oh…I…don’t worry about it” you say avoiding everyones burning gaze

“Im back with yalls shit” says peh yan very loudly

Everyone runs over to get their stuff then hops one their bikes to go back

You accidentally fall asleep on ryoheis back so by the time you wake up youre being carried princess style to the place you guys set up ya stuff

You get placed down and hear people running

When you fully come conscious you’re face to face with peh yan

“Ive done some…uh thinking…and I thought now would be a good time to say it…I uh….like you…”peh yan says his face completely flushed

You stare at him stunned

You see him tense up even more “ITS OKAY IF YOU DONT LIKE ME BACK! .. I mean its like im not expecting anything from you and I get im not that likable of a person and im loud and talk to much and I-“he says rambling on and on

But he get cut off when you lean in and hug him “I like you too Ryohei, always have always will” you say softly

“You don’t have any flaws in my eyes” giving him a small peck on the forehead and he leans in more to hug you back

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I told you he would confess now pay up ken chin”

“I didn’t think he had the balls to do it”-ken

“Its fine it ended well”-mitsuya

#ryohei hayashi #manga #fluff #one shot

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE

a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem

this is for @what-a-creative-username bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you 🥺

and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :’) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo

anon:

- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?

- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! 🥺 cuz he’s my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends

OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH

so basically yea

as seen in a lot of the parts,

oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you

like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females

maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?

the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from him

yanno the works

yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him

ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?

hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that

so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him

like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you

he did it all

it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms

because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU

ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone

he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand

oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon

this brings us here in the gym today

‘y/n-chan, do you want to go-’

‘oikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentions’

the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side

‘y/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~’

he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him

god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh

so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him

‘the moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leave’

you bargained but he gasped

‘what?! then what’s the point of-’

‘so you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?’

you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you

‘fine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?’

he was still fussy but he accepted it

oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?

they fall for boys who give them everything, right?

nope

so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that

idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho

his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food

‘y/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!’

he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you

‘oikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for females’

im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two

oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened

he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier

your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up

but your shock morphed into being upset

‘oikawa-san, listen here. you had-’

but he waved you off with a smile

‘no, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!’

you rolled your eyes

‘please stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriend’

he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough

‘y/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubborn’

he growled softly

wHAT iS hE sAYinG

you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity

‘y/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!’

you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes

‘oikawa-san, i’d rather you save your money and rest your injuries instead’

you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop

‘but i want to be with you, y/n-chan’

he whispered and you blinked

‘i dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just us’

he nodded eagerly

‘we can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with me’

then he found himself in a bookstore with you

it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together

the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin

he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out

‘y/n-chan, i’ll go use the bathroom really quickly’

you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom

your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry

oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before

so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped

it was so,,, domestic

seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words

it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?

the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you liked

the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own

you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder

‘’come, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love again’’

he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle

‘you read poetry?’

you whispered and oikawa chuckled

‘of course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poet’

he reasoned and you laughed

‘yet you fail to sway me, oikawa-san’

‘no, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!’

you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck

‘hmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys around’

oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip

‘i love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to be’

he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest

‘so not fair oikawa-san’

you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles

‘ehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!’

he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter

‘hah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!’

you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:

‘but what a beautiful mess you are’

okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!

once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer

‘hmm, oikawa-san, there’s this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think you’d like it’

you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk

oikawa’s hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks

he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space

‘sure!’

the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above

however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position

‘how’d you know i would like this, y/n-chan?’

he asked and you gave him an obvious look

‘hah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the bus’

your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him

you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before

except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it

you noticed it all

‘that right there, its the big dipper!’

you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding

‘yep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!’

he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you

‘really,, pretty’

you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you

‘but its different to look at something much more beautiful’

this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes

‘i want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going away’

he said and you nodded

you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created

‘oikawa-san, lets go to the star festival later’

you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic

so he covered it up with his own teasing

‘oh? the meeting of the two lovers?’

you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the ‘L’ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks

‘oh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!’

you pouted and turned away

‘never mind’

oikawa’s laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks

the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt

and you loved every moment of it

after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted

it wasnt the first time he’s openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning

yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??

you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you

whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could

the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door

or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out

‘darling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop it’

you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand

‘oh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!’

you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room

tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this

he was happy

you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love

but,,,,,,,,,

it didnt last long

albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you

it was,,, awkward

maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato

forget potato, youre now a tomato

but even his touches and affections were now limited

restricted

like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning

but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly

‘ah ha ha, hey y/n-chan’

oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym

god you felt like you were slapped in the face

you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly

was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?

usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you

no, you were just,,,,

overreacting

right?

yea, just,,,

overreacting

iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawa’s off expression

you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice

big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch

he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back

‘wh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?’

he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes

‘uh-yea. mhm, perfectly fine’

you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them

but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions

while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him

oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too

‘oi, what the hell did you do’

there was an underlying tone in his best friend’s voice that he didnt particularly like

oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face

‘hm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?’

‘what the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weird’

oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth

he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too

god hes so dumb

but he,,, was going through stuff right now

it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you in

and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house

okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(

it certainly brought him pain

this was what he wanted though, right?

he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls

but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings

oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh

initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet

this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you

and by god, he was so scared

he wanted to run away

because he was well aware of his personality and him as a person

he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart

he didnt want that responsibility and burden

it was too risky

oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer

you would be the one hit with the blast the most

maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself

it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldn’t be him

the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face

can you imagine the irony?

the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away

.......

practice was,,, suffocating?

the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same

oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried

did you both fight?

what happened?

when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you

‘oi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?’

makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing

but they were surprised when he shrugged

‘dont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about it’

if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen

you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,

‘nothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!’

that answer didnt bother you

it was his smile

the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you

now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls

what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm

they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the team’s wide eyes and concerned looks to you

you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles

he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym

you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky

‘the sky is very pretty today’

he complimented but it wasnt heard by you

you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face

‘oh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy faces’

he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds

you scrunched your nose and scoffed

‘i dont understand you, mattsun-san’

you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers

mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above

‘y/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunset’

it felt all muddled

there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand

‘mattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?’

he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy

‘who knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?’

you blanched

‘mattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!’

mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear

‘thats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?’

you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team

but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker

leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym

oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you,

more specifically,

you

he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsun’s elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head

yes this was what it was supposed to be

you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile

he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault

he will stop that from happening way before it would occur

he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up

it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,

he wants you away from him

oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldn’t get the girl he wishes for the most

dear god was it laughable

after practice was finished,

you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there

these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts

if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,

it was not knowing why

that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theories

did you chew too loudly when you ate?

were you boring and not as fun as the others?

was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?

has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?

that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear

throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you

but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there

you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace

but ofc

hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face

quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears

you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops

‘i cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crush’

he chuckled

you took a shaky breath and wiped your face

‘this was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!’

you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back

‘i mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to sway’

you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued

‘but to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that way’

you nodded, laughing weakly

‘i dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so it’ll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?’

but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope

‘rather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen moms’

the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldn’t help but think about it

GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!

BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF

all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his-

‘y/n?’

you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you

kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look

‘y/n, something must’ve happened that day with captain’

kunimi started but kindaichi snapped

‘see?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!’

you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm

‘o-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than that’

‘but clearly not because look at you!’

he shouted and you flinched

kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor

‘get ahold of yourself, kindaichi’

he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion

was it obvious?

was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?

nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit

youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal

but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes

as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway,

you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom

and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you

despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows

he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside

‘oikawa-senpai~~’

she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wrist

your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact

through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead

please dont go to her

please

stay with me

dont go

but he went in anyways

------

that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore

as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now

everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage

you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it

there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most

you were easily led on

he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile

he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another

kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions

even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention

you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him

‘what’

he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern

‘uh-i-are you okay?’

he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways

‘never better’

you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girl’s locker room to change into your manager outfit

your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing

‘whats wrong with all of you’

you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm

‘cmere. i missed you’

he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side

‘why-’

‘he told me what happened’

iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms

‘w-what?’

iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall

he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins

‘you-you are a piece of shit!’

he shouted and he moved to grab oikawa’s collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes

‘you think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!’

iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor

oikawa was crying

not from the beating

but from his regrets

god he knew he messed up

he shouldnt have done it

but he did

iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friend’s bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa

‘right now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me god’

he hissed

oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest

‘im so scared’

he sobbed

‘im so scared, iwa-chan’

his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries

‘i-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!’

he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair

‘it was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!’

‘how could you tell she-’

‘BECAUSE OF HER EYES!’

even iwa flinched

‘HER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!’

there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?

‘im missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?’

his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration

‘DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!’

he shrieked

thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown

‘SO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHO’S TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!’

iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest

oikawa tooru was having a panic attack

he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry

‘youre such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesn’t she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other people’s feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for you’

iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it

however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you

iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug

but he whispered something in your ear

‘everyone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for them’

you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about

he mustve known what happened but hes defending him

you clenched your jaw and looked away

‘i destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twice’

you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes

you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities

you were about to go to the coach and tell him you’d look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself

but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip

your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second

‘what happened to you’

you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you

his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you

this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it

he missed hearing you

his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on

the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye

your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face

‘youre the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone else’

you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back

‘it was iwa-chan’

he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow

‘what? why did he-’

then you froze

iwa knew

and he beat oikawa up for it

he fought his best friend for it

and iwa didnt look fazed at all

despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising

yet why was he so clean

it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back

you must stop

youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before

however

oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand

‘i,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-’

he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now

the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach

‘coach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmary’

he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear

oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door

it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation

it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment

‘i fcked up, y/n’

your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor

‘i messed up so bad’

he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath

‘oika-’

you made a move to turn around but he stopped you

‘no! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at you’

he cried and you nodded

oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting

‘i want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to me’

you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes

‘you,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of me’

when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him

fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression

‘i-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooru’

you seethed

your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry

‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’

you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking

his world was now falling apart

he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment

‘youre so selfish, impulsive, and terrible’

you whined and punched his shoulder at each word

‘but i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!’

you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms

it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck

‘im so sorry’

he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist

you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just crying

after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping

‘youre selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid you’ll go ahead and do something stupid again’

he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter

‘i dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myself’

and by god did he become selfish

it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him

YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY

natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it

‘i didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you’

he promised and you laughed

you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling

you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it

then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him

‘just continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask for’

then graduation came

of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day

you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before

then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you

the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands

it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present

for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki

oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter

you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say

until you softly grabbed his hand

‘come in. i want,,, to talk’

you mumbled and oikawa’s eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out

it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known

right?

you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed

FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS

ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?

oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side

‘y/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?’

he asked

but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor

‘for graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you this’

you finally met his eyes

then he knew

oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder

‘y-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-’

‘accept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other first’

KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?

OKAY

-----

oikawa was running in the airport

despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside

the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed inside

when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career

they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past

hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends

‘eh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? what’s next? flying sushi?’

he joked and hinata laughed

‘it was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!’

the previous smile on oikawa’s face slipped at the mention of you

‘hmm,,,, she always made the impossible happen’

he mumbled and hinata nodded

‘l/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasn’t busy’

the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid

‘you guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasuno’

then hinata said something that caused the brunette’s ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar

‘it wasn’t a problem since coach ukai took care of her son’

oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment

there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan

he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full

but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself

it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were

iwaizumi

oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call

he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up

‘damn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-’

‘iwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?’

of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years

‘wha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawa’

‘dont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my son’

he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quickly

how did he figure out

‘oi, oikawa, listen to me she-’

‘please! dont!’

he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him

‘dont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!’

‘why should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?’

oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone

iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart

poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much

‘i swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-’

but of course,

oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision

the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him

oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)

‘this is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, you’ll lose me too’

the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest time

the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on

what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated

would you let him in?

would you even want to see him?

would you punch him?

would you cry?

he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump

‘UNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,’

the door opened and the boy’s voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face

oikawa was stunned

was this the right apartment?

did iwaizumi trick him?

but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell

similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked

‘y-y/n? h-hey!’

he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there

you were hyperventilating inside

how did he find you?

why is he here?

does he know?

‘mama? who’s that oji?’

the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son

you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly

‘yoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?’

yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room

once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator

‘would you like some tea before you go?’

you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head

it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him

as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside

his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear

this was where you lived

with your son

who was his son too

there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier

it was at the planetarium nearby and tooru’s heart bloomed at the sparkle in that child’s eyes

jesus, he was beautiful

‘yozora. thats his name’

you said, noticing him staring at the picture

KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!

‘night sky’

oikawa whispered

the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you

‘n-nice place’

he stuttered out

you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup

‘its natsu’s and katsuki’s actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with them’

you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive

‘o-oh? ho-how is he-’

‘oikawa-san, what are you doing here?’

he visibly flinched

calling him by his last name stung since you called him ‘tooru’ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing

‘i,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mine’

you let out a humorless chuckle

a scoff

then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes

‘what makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?’

out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea

‘nothing’

you whispered

he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry

but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms

‘go ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for god’s sake’

‘you would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your grave’

he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself

the dry laugh you let out made him fidget

‘and you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i can’t? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happened’

you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him

you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back

but you still invited him in anyways

oikawa snapped his head up

‘you cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we have’

‘what he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawa’

‘but why did you keep him from me?’

he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why

‘i had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-’

‘mama?’

a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him

oikawa yozora was exactly like his father

from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes

KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAI’S VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!

he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son

um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me

so oikawa was right

yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you

yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away

sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child

but you kept him because he means the world to you

and the world he holds are in his eyes

‘i,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy too’

he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you

his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw

if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs

he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level

‘hello, my name is oikawa tooru’

he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him

‘you oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!’

yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms

‘oh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, oji’s’

your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on

you kept his last name

you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky

my god, you are so,,,

‘--the book. oji? do you?’

he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder

tooru blinked and looked at him

‘huh?’

‘i ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happy’

not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him

the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted

‘this way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit there’

tooru’s heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch

the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small ‘thank you’

‘my mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!’

tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off

‘why you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cry’

he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong

that book was oikawa’s

the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son

you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying

‘yoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?’

you fussed and sat down next to oikawa

yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room

GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON

‘a-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!’

yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa

‘me too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like him’

he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer

‘mama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!’

you couldnt even believe what was going on right now

not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him

you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first

‘yozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after all’

OKAY THAT WAS IT

YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA

out of shock, you slapped him across the face

causing yanno what happened

oikawa screamed

a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop 🥺 👉👈

ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

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