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#im eating pancakes dont judge me
sp00pysquiddle · 3 months
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I really hate when I'm reading and someone saunters over to ask what I'm reading. Like...just let me pretend I don't exist, I didn't open this to socialize.
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tokyogruel · 5 months
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from the perspective of amane momose;
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my name is amane momose. i am 11 years old, born on june 27th, and i have just started my first years of middle school. i am fond of animals, i am diligent in my work, and today- i have been convicted of murder.
i have been taken to a prison known as "MILGRAM," dressed in convict's attire, and told that i will be judged for my sins
i am not worried, for i am a good girl
i am surrounded by 9 other prisoners. strangers to me, and all much older than i am. i begin to grow nervous. i am surrounded by murderers and sinners, with no escape. i am trapped here
of all of the prisoners to approach me- i am greeted by a much older man- a doctor. he reeks of sin and moral corruption. i do not trust him.
he begins to convince me to eat sweets- pancakes, he says. i have never been allowed sweets, save for my birthday, and i am not sure i am comfortable indulging in such a rare treat frivolously.
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i do not eat them. i do not trust these strangers. i have only begun to learn their names.
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my trial comes and goes. i do not know what has been shown to the warden, though they have deemed me to be unforgiven. i grow weary and confused- but i... i am a good girl?
they put restraints on me, and my thoughts are filled with voices i do not recognize. "she must be punished for her thoughts and actions" "she will never learn if we dont do this!"
i begin to shake. but im a good.. girl..?
i hold firm in my beliefs.
i do not let them know how scared i am.
shidou kirisaki continues to approach me- continues to offer me treats. continues to try and chip away at my morals. i am a good girl. i will not allow him to sway me.
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i tell the warden- kirisaki shidou continues to go against my beliefs and wishes. i have warned him to stop. to leave me alone. to change his ways.
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the warden lashes out, strikes me in the face. my feeling of safety wanes further.
i am a good girl. i will not falter. i will not let them corrupt me.
kirisaki shidou continues to approach me.
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the-last-f2p · 1 year
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Bungou Stray Dogs but I'm quoting me and my friends.
Tw: Swearing in playing 3008 part 2
playing 3008
Higuchi: So you're the rock eating
Akutagawa: Yeah
Higuchi: And you're pancakes
Gin :Mhm
Higuchi :So what am I
Akutagawa: You can be pebble.
*insert hysterical laughter here*
Just chilling
Mori: If you had to choose someone to spend the rest of your life with-
Chuuya: Dazai.
Singing :)
Dazai: FEED THE DEMON
Dazai: LET IT KNOW WE HAVE A SACRFICE
Dazai: FEED THE DEMON
Dazai: LET IT KNOW WE HAVE A SACRIFCE AGAIN
Gymnastics
PM and ADA: *Doing some fancy gymnatics routine*
Guild: Ours is terrible :( Fitzgerald : NO ITS NOT
Singing on the bus
ADA except for Kyoka : FIRST THINGS FIRST IM GOING TO SAY ALL THE THINGS INSIDE MY HEAD IM TIERD OFF AND FIRED UP BOUT THE WAY THINGS HAVE BEEN OH OOOO OOO
Kyoka: why am i here
I knew it (Just after Dazai's dark era)
Chuuya to Koyou: Oh Dazai left by the way
Koyou: k
Chuuya: And he's also gay
Koyou: I knew it :)
* insert more hysterical laughter here*
Playing 3008 Part 2
Dazai: OMG guys look at this *insert buff blonde princess*
Chuuya: What
Dazai: ITS A BUFF PRINCESS
Chuuya: Ahh yes the point were I question my sanity should be in about...
Dazai: IM BUILDING A SHIRNE TO THIS SHIT
Chuuya: There.
English ...
Video where dude is kinda like El stranger things
Ranpo: HEYY EL STRANGER THINGS COPYRIGHT STRANGER THINGS THATS COPYRIGHT
Yosano: NO THATS NOT EL OR 11 THATS NEGITVE 12
My beatiful play
Dazai: And then Hatsune miku says DEATH TO THE BRITISH PEOPLE and shoots Fitzgerald who wants to be Miku?
Akutagawa: I
Fitzgerald: what-
Confusion
Akutgawa: You can slap balls out of people hands so easily
Atsushi :What-
Akutagawa: I MEANT LIKE BASKETBALL GET YOU MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER
(This can also be read with Dazai and Chuuya but idk)
My beatiful play part 2
Dazai: So the judge does the renagade because why not and Junko Enoshima and Elise are there and Junko and Elise are like OMG SLAY LETTME GET IN ON THAT also she summons the demon and its like yo.
Dazai: So we know that Q is the demon
Q: Yey :)
Dazai: Elise you can be you
Elise: K..
Dazai: And the ultimate Fashonista hmmmm defo Chuuya
Chuuya: I dont want to be apart of this
Dazai: To bad and I guess I'm tiktok judge :)
THE END
A/N: Hello there this was super fun to write for no reason at all thanks to my Higuchi and Chuuya qouted friend for telling me that I should do this. Anyway tomorrow is Yan promt day 2 “What do you mean it hurts? If it hurts, it’s because you’re struggling!” anyway thx and goodbye
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ticklish-n-stuff · 2 years
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Love is war in the name of pancakes! 🥞
Coming up with titles is like my biggest weakness :< plz dont judge it lmao
This is a tickle fic!!!!!!
More pjsekai brainrot with Akito and Toya :DD
Cuz Toya deserves ALL the tickles, I mean have you seen his angelic smile??? 👀
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I love Akito's face of pure satisfaction while eating his pancakes <3
I kin Akito's love for pancakes lmao
I headcanon Akito tickling Toya in order to get his way with things lololol (he's such a little shit, but we still love him :)))
AnYwAyS hope you enjoy! :)
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Akito x Toya (romantic but interpret it as you wish :))
Ler: Akito
Lee: Toya
Warnings: Tickles! Pancakes??
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It was brought to Toya's attention that a new café had popped up in the area, one that Akito had kept bugging him about because he wanted to try out their strawberry pancakes.
It had been a very productive week for Vivid Bad Squad and today happened to be their day off, perfect to go pancake tasting! But Toya was feeling kinda lazy and wasn't in the mood to leave the house.
The boys were currently at Akito's house just chilling on the couch, until Akito kept begging Toya to go to the café with him.
"Come onnn, Toya. The café isn't even that far away!" Argued Akito as Toya simply stayed put, the couch was too damn comfy to move.
"Can't we go another day, Akito? I don't feel like getting up...".
"Dude it's our day off, im not letting it go to waste!".
Toya meerly shrugged at him and somehow sunk deeper into the couch. Akito sighed at his couch potato of a boyfriend, both of them were being stubborn and Akito wasn't going to give up so easily. After all, pancakes are at stake!
A silent moment passed as Akito tried to think of a way to convince his boyfriend to go out with him, and then it happened. A lightbulb went off in his head (that can never be good lmao). He remembered a certain weakness his boyfriend has, and he was going to exploit it! All in the name of pancakes!!!
Akito casually got up from the couch, trying to keep a cool composure to not raise any suspicion. He then proceeded to settle himself on top of Toya's hips, keeping him relatively pinned against the couch.
"Akito...what are you doing?" Toya's face was one of pure confusion.
"Well, since you won't go to the café with me, ill just have to convince you harder~" At that, Akito started wiggling his fingers towards Toya.
Toya's eyes widened, realizing what his mischevious boyfriend was up to, but it was too late for the poor boy.
Before Toya could protest, Akito dug his fingers into his sides, making Toya burst out in laughter.
"AHH! Akito! Wahahait!" Toya cried as he tried to grab at Akito's wrists, but the tickling was making him weak!
"Wait? Wait for what sweetheart?" Akito gave him a sinister smirk as Toya blushed at the pet name, still in hysterics from the current tickles.
Toya tried to cover his red face with his hands, but that ended up being a recipe for disaster.
With the new opening, Akito shoved his hands towards Toya's armpits, making said boy screech in laughter. Akito couldn't help but laugh at his boyfriend's sensitivity.
"AHAHAKITO! NAHAHAT THEHERE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Watching Toya laugh out loud like this was a rare sight, and it always caught Akito off guard. His eyes were starting to get watery, his cheeks had a pretty rosy tint to them and his smile could light up any room. Akito couldn't help but smile fondly as he wrecked his poor boyfriend.
"Looks like someone is very ticklish here~ 'S too bad you won't go out with me, i'd show you mercy if you did~".
"AHAHAKITO! STAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!" Poor Toya could barely talk through all his laughter.
Akito decided to show SOME mercy and softly scribbled his small nails across Toya's tummy, which sent him into a giggle frenzy.
"Ahahaha...Ahakito! Ahare you trying to kill mehehehe?!".
"*Gasp* I would never do such a thing! Im just trying to persuade you is all~".
"You're sohoho evil!".
"Oh evil you say~? I can show you real evil if you'd like~".
Akito pulled up Toya's shirt exposing his smooth tummy and proceeded to wiggle a finger playfully inside his boyfriend's navel.
"GAHH! AHAHAKITO! NOT THEHEHEAHAHAHAHA!" Toya positively squealed and tried to thrash around, but Akito kept him pinned, unable to move.
"Hehe, I always forget how sensitive your lil' giggle button is~".
"DOHOHON'T CALL IT THAHAHAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Teasing mixed with tickles was always the worst combination, and Akito's teases were always so deadly. Toya's face was as red as a strawberry, how fitting.
"You know what you have to do to make me stop, giggle bug~".
Toya for sure thought he'd be a goner if he didn't obey Akito's command, whether it'd be from the tickles or the teasing, he'd be dead for sure, so he had no other choice but to submit to his boyfriend's demand.
"OKAHAHAHA! ILL GOHOHO WITH YOU! NOW STAHAHAHAHAPH!!!".
At that, Akito quickly stopped his tickle attack, a satisfied grin on his face.
"Now that wasn't so hard~".
Toya rolled his eyes. Akito chuckled and placed a gentle kiss on his boyfriend's sweaty forehead before getting up and dragging Toya with him towards the café, the pancakes were totally worth it!
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I had so much fun writing this! I hope that whoever reads it enjoys it :)))
More pjsekai tickle fics for the near future cause i have an unhealthy obsession with these bois!!!
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shewritestheblues · 4 years
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The Elevator Bae x Chapter 4
Chapter FOUR
Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)
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Reruns of Martin plays in the tv as Phoenix whips up her pancake batter. She has turkey bacon and hash browns done on the stove. A knock on the door turns into a beat brin made on the door.
Ava!
Phoenix swings the door open to find Ava and Mica holding up orange juice and liquor.
“What’s brunch without liquor?” Mica says walking in. She immediately looks through the cabinets for a pitcher and begins missing up mimosas. Ava sits on a stool at the kitchen counter while Phoenix starts making the pancakes.
“Let’s just get straight to it, what’s up with Erik?” Ava asks.
Mica pours their drinks. “Who is Erik?”
“A nigga that she want.”
Mica eyes Phoenix for her to explain. She tries to focus on the task at hand of flipping her pancakes.
“Ma’am, get to talking.”
“He lives here. I met him on the elevator. We’ve run into each other from time to time.”
Ava slams her hand on the counter. “Mica, she’s fucking with us. Coby said they be having moments on the elevator, flirting and shit. But come to find out, he’s messing with Sydney--”
“BIG BOOTY SYDNEY?”
“He’s not messing with her.”
Ava’s head snaps over to her. “How you know?”
Phoenix bites her lip as she makes their plates. “He told me.”
“When he say this?”
“Wait, wait,” Mica intervens, “How y’all know he was allegedly messing with Syd?”
Ava has a mouth full of bacon at this point just spilling the little beans that she has. “We seen her in the garage and she was all asking Philly about if she seen the nigga because he left her place like a theif in the night and never called her back.”
“Damn! This nigga a savage and you like him?” Mica turns to Phoenix with concern.
“That is not what she said, Mica. But, he told me last night, this morning, whatever… that she’s cool but he ain’t feeling her in that way.”
“Let me guess, on the elevator?” Ava sticks her tongue out teasing Phoenix. Phoenix gives her the middle finger. Mica swats her hand, “Focus. What exactly did he say?”
“Well… he mentioned having his eye on someone else,” Mica and Ava share a look as Phoenix continued. “And I told him he should tell Sydney he doesn’t like her.”
“...that’s it?” Mica says stuffing hash browns in her mouth.
“No, he-- well, I told him he looks tired and get some rest when I was getting off the elevator. Then he says, “Goodnight baby girl.” and winks at me all flirty and shit.”
“Oh girl, niggas love throwing in a baby girl,” Mica says refilling her glass. “I wouldn’t think nothing of that.”
Phoenix looks to Ava for her input.
“Honestly Philly, I don’t know. Because yeah, niggas just be talking but at the same time, we dont know who this man is. For all we know, you could be making all this shit up.”
“Why would I make this up?”
“No, no I’m not saying you are at all. My point is, only you can judge the vibe between y’all because we don’t know who he is.”
“What he look like?” Mica says with a mouth full of pancakes.
“He’s tall, brown, nice teeth, dreads.”
“Oh, so he’s a daddy. Yeah, you can’t trust those.”
Ava almost spit out her drink from laughing.
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The gold chain with a ring hanging from it that sits around Erik’s neck, swings back and forth as he does his last few push ups. He sits up on his floor, rolling his neck and stretching it. His phone lights up on the coffee table in front of him.
Text: Sydney
He swipes to close it without reading it. He gets up and goes into the bathroom, turning on the shower. He steps out of his sweaty clothes and steps in. The warmth of the water stings the new small scar on his abdomen. Biting his lip until the slight pain fades away. Allowing the water to run over his body, he closes his eyes releasing a long sigh.
After washing his body and face, he puts on fresh clothes and relaxes on his huge sectional couch. It’s been a long week for Erik and a day of just chilling is exactly what he needed and wanted. He searched through Netflix with nothing really catching his eye. So he picked up his phone, opening Sydney’s text. It was the 4th text she had sent him since he left her place a few nights ago.
Sydney: E, What’s up?
Sydney: So you’re not going to text me back?
Sydney: Are you okay?
Sydney: so you’re just gonna go ghost. Most niggas wait until after they hit. At this point, I dont even care.
His thumb hovered over the keyboard. Phoenix’s words singing in his ear, I think you should tell her. Communication is key.
She was right, just letting her know he’s not into to her like that is the right thing to do. But, he definitely took the part about communication being about him being more open about liking her instead. He finally types a response.
Erik: Hey. my bad, i’ve been busy. working.
Sydney: you have some free time now? You just left and i wanted to see you.
Erik: Im free but i dont really wanna chill. I like you Syd, but as a friend.
Sydney: wow. Ok
With that out the way, Erik opened his Instagram app, scrolling up his timeline. He comes across a picture that his friend, Shawn posted. Shawn went out to the opening of Club X the night before. He was one of the promoters. As Erik swipes through Shawn’s pics, he notices one that he’s in with four women. One of them being Phoenix. The caption says ‘ClubX now open. Come get lit with the dopest DJ in the city.’ Erik taps the photo to reveal the tags. @DJPhoenixBlue , @AmazingAva , @Micaxoxo , @CamrenMarie. Did he just find Phoenix’s IG page? Without a second thought, he clicks her page and yes… yes he did find elevator bae’s page. He carefully looked and admired every picture. He found himself looking at a pic from June 2016 when Phoenix was back in Detroit, walking through downtown with one of her old friends. That’s when he knew he was doing the most. He scrolled back to the top of her page, reading her bio. He clicks the soundcloud link that’s attached and takes a listen. He nods his head to the R&B beat. It was definitely a vibe. He let her playlist play. He laid his head back onto the couch, closing his eyes. He was on the 5th beat before he sat up to sounds of his stomach rumbling.
“Shit.” He goes into the kitchen, Phoenix’s music still playing. There wasn’t much left in his refrigerator with him being gone for days. He turns the music off to focus on searching through his various food apps to order something. He found himself back on Phoenix’s Instagram page. He leans back on his kitchen counter, completing forgetting about food. He debates with himself if he should follow her. He stood there with his thumb hanging over the follow button. “Fuck it.” he thinks. He taps follow. He came this far, he might as well like a few pics.
He orders from a cafe he likes that’s not too far from his home. It’ll be there in 20 minutes. He finds his way back into the living room, on the couch. He settles with rewatching Naruto. Only made sense because it was his favorite.
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Mica helps Phoenix load up the dirty dishes into her dishwasher as Ava rolls them a blunt. Phoenix gave more than enough detail about every encounter she has had with Erik since meeting him. She even told them about the dream she had about him. Mica doesn’t seem to like the idea of Erik while Ava tried to convince Phoenix to shoot her shot with him. Phoenix figured it wouldn’t hurt to ‘think about it.’
After finishing their breakfast and cleaning up, the women are sitting out on Phoenix’s balcony, smoking and trying to make plans for Camren. Her birthday was the weekend coming up and Camren made it clear that she wanted to do Hoodrat things with her friends. That was her only request. They already have a surprise girls trip that they planned months ago, but the three of them would make her ratchet dreams come true.
“Let’s do a surprise dinner and take her ass to the club,” Phoenix says, passing the blunt to Mica. “I can get us a section.”
“Yeahhhh, get some big ass pictures of her face and bottles.” Ava added.
“That would make her so happy.” Mica says between coughs and laughs.
They finalize their plans for the weekend. They are taking Camren out to eat, the club and will surprise her with their planned vacation when she wakes up the next morning with a hangover, contemplating life. Ava and Mica say their goodbyes to Phoenix and leave out to wait for the elevator. When the doors open, they come face to face with Erik. He’s alone in the cabin. He recognizes them immediately as the girls in the pictures with Phoenix and Shawn. He moves over to the left of the cabin. Mica stands center and Ava to the right. Silence sits over the three of them. Erik could feel that one of them is staring fire into the side of his face. When he turns to them, Mica is giving him the worst death stare he’s experienced in his life. They stare at each other.
“Is your name Erik?”
“Yeah. Do I know you?
Ava’s head snaps quickly in his direction. She hadn’t even thought about who the man was in the cabin with them. Mica remembered every detail Phoenix gave about what Erik looked like. He’s tall, brown, nice teeth, dreads.
“Nah, you don’t know me,” Mica says, turning to fully face him. “But what you do need to know is when it comes to Philly, I’ll kick yo’ ass, you pretty muthafucker.”
Erik is confused and caught off guard. Who in the hell is this woman. Is Philly, Phoenix? He really didn’t know how to respond to this threat. Ava pinches the bridge of her nose. She can’t take Mica, NOWHERE!
“Who the fuck is Philly?”
“Oh my God,” Ava intervenes, “You have to excuse her. She’s high as fuck.” Ava grabs Mica’s arm and pulled her to the right side of the cabin, away from Erik. “We’re friends of Phoenix, nice to meet you.”
Erik eyes Mica who seems uninterested in him. “Nice to meet y’all too… I think.��
The elevator doors open and Ava steps out, dragging Mica with her. Watching the two of them made Erik laugh. As he made his way to his car, it hit him what Mica and Ava said. She talked to her friends about him? What in the hell did she say for her friends to be so protective? Either way, he couldn’t stop the redness from forming on his cheeks.
Once Ava and Mica were in Ava’s car, without skipping a beat, Mica facetimes Phoenix. “Sis. We just seen your pretty ass man on the elevator.”
“What?”
“What?” Mica says in a mocking tone. “You love playing stupid. Ya’ boy Erik. I had to let him know he better be on some real shit when it comes to you.”
“MICA!” Phoenix covers her face with her free hand.
“You’re welcome. And he is fine though. I see why you pressed but I still don’t trust his ass.”
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The next morning, Phoenix started her day with some morning yoga. She had a few errands to run before a studio session later that night. She needed to go to the bank, do a little grocery shopping and reup on some hair products. She had used the last of her Miss Jessie’s curl cream the night of the club opening. Her hair has been in that same bun since. Putting on some dark denim shorts and a red one shoulder crop top, paired with some red vans, she headed out.
Luckily, when Phoenix arrived at the bank, her favorite banker, Ms. Kim was there. Whenever she’d have to go to the bank, she loved going to her to handle her money. Ms. Kim was an older, black woman that gave her all of the cool, auntie vibes. Ms. Kim was the one who helped Phoenix set up a seperate account for her business account and tax account. She honestly made everything easier.
“Good Afternoon, Miss Phoenix,” Ms. Kim stands, greeting Phoenix has she approached her desk.
“Hi, Ms. Kim.”
Ms. Kim motions for Phoenix to take a seat.
“How have you been little lady? Busy I take it since it’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen you in here.”
Phoenix smiles, “Yeah, I’ve been working like crazy.”
“That’s good. At least you’re busy doing something you love though, right?
“Yes. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, honestly.”
“I’m glad. Now what can I help you with today?”
Phoenix digs into her purse, pulling out two checks. “I want to deposit these and send a little something to my Mom. She’s been bugging me about a purse.” She shakes her head. Ms. Kim laughs and takes the checks and does her magic. She knows just how Phoenix wanted to break up the checks into each of her accounts, which is why Phoenix loved her so much. She never had to ask too many questions. She just knew what to do.
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Phoenix made her way to the farmers market, getting as much food as she could fit into her basket. She always did this, knowing the struggles of carrying all of the tote bags up to her apartment. But without fail, she did this to herself, every time. Loading her groceries into her car, she heads home. She didn’t have much on her mind but she wasn’t fully there as she pulls into the parking garage of her apartment. She parks her car and starts grabbing her bags from her trunk when one falls and she smashes her carton of eggs. She pouts, pissed off with herself about dropping the bag.
“You have to be kidding me!” She stands there, holding her face trying not to be too upset about it.
“You need some help?” Phoenix turns to find Erik walking in her direction, his keys in hand. She was a bit frozen when she saw him. He was wearing a fitted white shirt with grey joggers and his dreads were braided back. She just stood there, staring at him until his laugh shook her from her trance. He loved how his presence would stall her.
“Umm, no. I’m okay. I don’t wanna hold you up.” She picks up the bag that fell and tries to grab more bags from the trunk. Erik didn’t say anything, he just reached for the bags in her hands, taking them from her.
“Erik…” she tries to protest.
“Girl, grab the rest of the bags and c’mon. I’m not in a rush.”
She was lowkey shocked but did what he said. She grabbed the rest of the bags and closed her trunk, locking her doors. He stood, holding the majority of her groceries so she hit the call button.
“You really didn’t have to--”
“I wanted to. If I’m right here, you don’t need to be carrying all of this up alone.”
“Thank You.” she says in a low tone.
The elevator doors open and they step inside headed up to Floor 7. Phoenix tried to avoid looking at Erik. One, he was looking damn good right now and two, she never knew how she’d react to him.
“You look beautiful today. I like the whole messy bun flow you got going on.” he finally says.
“OH SHIT! I'm sorry, Thank you. You just reminded me that I forgot to pick up some stuff for my hair.”
“What do you use on your hair?”
“Um this Miss Jessie’s curl cream and this Shea Moisture leave in. I completely forgot and I’m all out of both.”
The elevator doors open and Erik follows her to her door. Taking note of the ‘702’ on her door. She pushes the heavy door open and holds it open for him. He follows her into the kitchen, placing the many bags on the counter. Phoenix struggles to get her hand out of the handle of one of the bags, not realizing she’s still holding her keys. Her phone starts ringing in her back pocket. She’s panicking trying to get her hand free and getting her phone. Watching her struggle was a good time for Erik. He walked up to her, taking her keys from her hand and taking the bag from her wrist. His hands were rough and warm and it caught her off guard… as usual.
“Thanks.” She answers her phone just in time. It’s another engineer that she was suppose to have the studio session with. He called to tell her that the artist they were supposed to work with, cancelled so it wasn't a point in going tonight. She was disappointed. She hated when people would cancel last minute being that the studio was her happy place.
The disappointment she felt was all over her face as she hung up the phone.
“Everything okay?” Erik asked. For a moment, she forgot that he was there.
“Yeah, the artist I was suppose to have a studio session with cancelled on me.”
“Oh yeah, you’re a DJ.”
She never told him that. How would he know that? “Yeah… I’m just gonna go by myself though. I have some stuff that I need to get done.”
Erik sways back and forth, debating on if he should ask. Phoenix starts putting away her groceries. She assumed Erik would just leave at that point but he continued to stand there with his hands in his pocket. She stops what she’s doing and eyes him suspiciously.
“This is weird, but would you mind if I tagged along with you? To the studio.”
She was NOT expecting that. Suddenly Ava’s words rang in her ear. Shoot your shot. The thought of that made her nervous but she stopped the nerves in their tracks. What’s the worst that could happen? He wouldn’t ask if he wasn’t interested, right?
“Uh, yeah sure… wait, weren’t you going somewhere before you helped me with my bags?”
Erik leans over onto her counter, rubbing his hands together. “Yeah, but it wasn’t important. Just chilling with some homies.”
“So you’re just gonna bail on your friends to hang out with me? You don’t even know me.”
“You don’t really know me but I’m all up in ya’ kitchen right now.”
He had a point. She just shook her head and finishes putting away her groceries. He watched her every move. It’s still pretty early so Phoenix still has time to go out and get her hair products before heading to the studio.
“Well everything’s put away. I’m gonna go get my hair stuff. You can just meet me in the garage around 8. Is that cool?”
Eriks stands up straight, “Yeah.”
She smiles and grabs her purse, walking to the door. Erik follows. He waits for her by the elevators as she locks her door. When the elevators opens for them, Mya steps off.
“Hey Phoenix.”
“Hey, Mya.” she waves at her. Mya looks at Erik and then back to Phoenix, mouthing to her, “YAS SIS!” Phoenix laughs. Erik is going up to his place to wait for her so she says bye to him and watches him step in and the doors close. She patiently waits for the cabin to come back down to take her down to the parking garage. Making it to the beauty supply, she buys way more than she needed. Getting some new Mane Choice shampoo, a long, curly ponytail (because you never know when you’ll need one), the curl creams she came for and some hair accessories. She could never control herself in the beauty supply store. It was like a candy store for black girls.
She made her way back home and couldn’t resist washing her hair to try her new products and honestly, she couldn’t wait to retire that messy bun.
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Erik waits in the parking garage for Phoenix. Checking his phone, it’s now 8:12pm. He’s not usually a patient man but he would wait for as long as he needed for her. Finally a ding from the elevators alerts him that someone is getting off. Phoenix steps out with fresh curls that are still partially wet. She had changed into some black joggers and a Snoop Dogg T-Shirt with her backpack hanging on one arm.
“I’m sorry. I really had to wash my hair.”
He smiles at her. “It’s not a problem, baby girl.”
There’s that name again. She stares at him. “Uh, yeah. You ready?”
“Lead the way.”
He follows her to her car. He steps around her, opening her door for her. She smiles a thank you and he walks around, getting into the passenger seat. She holds up the Aux cord.
“This is my only offer. Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
“You’re the DJ. Let me hear what you like to listen to.”
Phoenix proceeds to plug in her phone and put her playlist on shuffle. Megan thee Stallion x Cash Shit comes on blasting through the speakers as Phoenix pulls out onto the road. She raps along.
Yeah, I’m in my bag // but I’m in his too.
That’s why every time you see me // I got some new shows. AH!
Erik enjoys the show of Phoenix rapping along to every song that comes on. He even joins in when Dreamville x Got Me comes on.
I got you long as you got me // And I got you long as you got me
----
Walking into the studio building, Phoenix greets the security guy at the front desk. This is her favorite studio to work in so she knows everyone who works out of the building by name.
“Hey, Larry.”
“Hello, Miss Blue.”
She loves that he calls her that. Erik nods at Larry and Larry does the same. They continue to an elevator that takes them to the third floor. Walking into the huge studio, Phoenix flicks on the lights and begins setting up her laptop, pulling out her writing notebook. Erik looks around. Blue and green lights, light up the booth that sits in front of them.
“You want something to drink? There’s all types of stuff in the fridge.” Phoenix asks, sitting in a big, comfy chair.
“Nah, I’m good for now.” Erik sits next to her. He sits and just watches as she finishes setting up everything. She has a few samples that she made in her files so she starts with those first. A very smooth R&B Style beat with drums begins to play through the speakers. Phoenix digs in her backpack and pulls out a bag of weed.
“You smoke?” she asks, taking out a back wood.
“Yeah.”
“When I come here alone, this is how I set the mood.”
He watches her carefully as she breaks the weed down so effortlessly. She bobs her head to the beat, filling the back wood with the weed. He could tell, this was her zone. She seemed so relaxed here. Even he couldn’t shake her up right now.
“So, Erik,” She adds emphasis to his name. “Tell me something.”
“What you wanna know?” he watches as she begins to perfectly lick the blunt closed. He’s mesmerized.
“What do you do?”
“In the Navy… engineer.”
She looks at him as she lights the blunt and takes a drag. She slowly releases the smoke. “You from here?”
“Yeah. Grew up in Oakland. You?”
“Nah… I’m from Detroit.”
“Damn, that’s what’s up. When did you come out here?”
She hands him the blunt. “Last year. My career started taking off. I was flying out here like every other week so I just moved out here.”
“You like it?”
“I love it.”
They passed the blunt back and forth until it was gone. The same beat still playing in the background. Phoenix was feeling her high and the beat. Melodies started coming to her as she sung a series of Ahhhs and Heyyys until they formed into lyrics and she wrote them down in her notebook.
“Damn girl, you can sing?”
“I can hold a note or two.”
“Have you ever wrote and recorded any songs for yourself?”
“I have a few.”
“Can I hear one?”
She’s hesitant at first but she goes through her files and finds a song she wrote when she broke up with her ex. As the song played, Erik paid close attention to every word, every note. He felt like he could hear her pain in her voice. She noticed the focused expression on his face. Like he was trying to figure out the exact story that inspired the song.
“Wrote this last year when I came out here. My ex… he uh, he cheated and had a baby.”
The song ends and she goes back to the beats she was listening to before.
“You’ve been single since?” he asks.
“Yeah. Just been working. If I’m gonna give a nigga my time, he has to understand my work. He can’t get in the way of that, ya’ know?”
“I get it.”
“How long have you been single?”
Erik sits back in his chair, rubbing his beard. “I��ve actually never really been in a relationship.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. Life just didn’t seem to allow me to do all of that.”
“Why?”
Erik was never one to open up to people. Maybe it was the weed or maybe it was the vibe, but he felt safe with Phoenix in this moment. “I had to take care of myself growing up. Parents died young so I didn’t have time for distractions. Got into college early. Went to MIT,” Phoenix eyes grew big at that. “Went straight into the navy after that.”
“Do you think things have changed for you now? Like… maybe you would be able to try out a relationship or something?”
“Well, where I am now, if that’s what I wanted to do, I’ll figure it out. But it’s like you said, it has to be somebody that understands my work.”
She nods and turns to work on the beat that’s playing. After making a few adjustments, she figured out just what it was missing. She looked to Erik and noticed he was vibing out to the new, improved beat.
“You like it?”
“Hell yeah. I fuck with this.”
That made her happy. She loved when other people were vocal about her work.
“Can I ask you something, Erik?”
“Wassup?”
“So… what really happened with you and Sydney?”
He looks at her. He couldn’t read her like he usually could. “Nothing. We hung out. Chilled at her place. Got so high, we both passed out and I left. She wanted to do more but like I told you, I wasn’t feeling it.”
She played with her fingers. He rolled his chair closer to her and lifted her chin so she’s looking at him. “You don’t have to worry about her.”
“What?” She moved back. “I’m not worried about her. I was just-- nothing, never mind.”
He didn’t push her to continue. She opted to ask him more generic questions.
“Anyways… um, what’s your favorite color?”
If this is how she wanted this to go, he’d play along. “My favorite color is black. Yours?”
“Blue.” she smiled.
By the end of the session, Phoenix had finished two beats. She even showed Erik how to work a few buttons so he could help her record a few hooks and a verse. By the end of the session, they knew a lot more about each other. Erik’s last name is Stevens and he was 31. He loved french toast and watching anime. Phoenix was 27 with a birthday coming in just a few months. Erik may or may not be plotting to get her something. She loved animals and told him about her most embarrassing moment in high school when she was performing for pep rally and tripped on her own two feet in front of the whole school. They had a good time with each other. It was almost 2am when they left.
As they waited for the elevator, Erik stood dangerously close to Phoenix. She could feel like body heat and she wanted so bad to wrap her arms around him for him to warm her up.
“I had a good time with you tonight, Philly.”
“I had a good time with you too, Stevens.” She poked his chest.
The elevator arrives and they step on, Floor 7 and Penthouse floor as their destinations. The ride up was a comfortable, tired silence. As Phoenix got off on her floor, Erik reached for her hand, stopping her right between the open doors. He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumbs. He licked his lips and she watched with her mouth parted slightly. He knew just what he was doing. “Goodnight, baby girl.”
If this nigga dont stop this!
“Goodnight, E.”
He was surprised at the nickname. Sure, most people called him E, but coming from her, at this moment, felt different. Like equivalent to his ‘baby girl.’ He felt a rush move through his chest as she slowly slid her hand from his, stroking his fingers and smiled at him. She stood on the other side of the doors until the doors shut. This time, it was Erik with jelly legs. He caught himself by leaning back on the back wall of the cabin as it traveled up. He has never felt like this with no woman… ever!
When he made it into his place, he stripped out of his clothes and took a hot shower. Thinking of the way her hand felt in his made his dick twitch under the warm water. He stroked it a few times before choosing to just wash up and go to bed. He really didn’t understand this feeling and didn’t want to process it right now. He just wanted to have this moment. Whatever it was. As he made himself comfortable in his cool sheets, he picked up his phone, opening Instagram. Phoenix’s story the first one highlighted at the top of his screen. He clicked it and 4 minutes ago, she posted a photo of the city’s view from her bedroom with the caption ‘Nights like This❤️ ’
There it is… that feeling in his chest again. He locks his phone and drifts off to sleep with Phoenix as the last thought on his mind.
40 notes · View notes
buckleysjareau · 4 years
Text
you feel like the perfect escape now
"In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness."
or
Eddie planning his proposal with the help of Hen and Karen. Featuring good ol' Buck and Chimney banter, soft and in love boyfriends, and tooth rotting fluff.
part two of three in my series ‘cause i’m not too far and you’re my favorite place on ao3
Eddie Diaz was never the type of guy to actually think about marriage. He’ll sound horrible saying it, but he didn’t really think about his marriage to Shannon. He loved her, he’s loved her since their third date when they were caught in the rain and instead of freaking out, she grabbed Eddie’s hand, dragged him out from the shelter and spun them around, head falling back in happy, care-free laughter. He loved her when she told him, with tears in her eyes, that she was pregnant. He loved her as she walked down the aisle with a grin on her face, carelessly happy. He loved her when she gave birth to their world.
But he never thought about it as it happened. When she’d told him she was pregnant, after he got over the initial excitement, his first thought was oh, we should probably get married now. Before that, it never occurred to him that he would ever marry Shannon, even though he loved her.
It was different with Buck.
Realizing he wants to marry Buck, not because he should but because it’s the only thing he can think of when he goes to sleep at night and when he wakes in the morning. He realizes the difference in the thought when it comes to planning his proposal to Buck and how he treated Shannon’s proposal.
He loved Shannon, but he was never in love with her. The thought sends an uncomfortable amount of guilt through him, but he hears Buck’s voice in his ear saying, you can’t help who you fall in love with.
Not exactly what he meant when he said it but it helped Eddie shake a lot of the guilt.
He was wholeheartedly, one-hundred percent, completely, utterly and stupidly in love with Evan Buckley.
The second it struck him how much he not just wanted, but needed to marry Buck, he couldn’t wait a second longer to start planning it. 
The first thing he has to do before he even starts planning anything, though, is ask Christopher if he would be okay with him marrying Buck. He knows his kid loved Buck more than life, but sometimes he’s scared that Chris will think that if he marries him, he’ll be replacing Shannon.
When it happens that Buck and his schedules don’t line up, he takes Christopher to lunch at his favorite place and asks. 
“Christopher, can I ask you a really important question?”
He giggles when his son looks up from his triple chocolate pancakes with whipped cream and chocolate already covering his mouth. “What is it, dad?”
“Abuela’s gonna kill me for letting you order all of this sugar.” He shakes his head as he smiles before he clears his throat. “You know how before Buck and I got together, I asked what you’d think about it?”
“I said I loved my Buck and got really excited.”
“That’s right! Well, Christopher, how would you feel if I asked your Buck to marry me?”
Chris’ smile grows immediately. “You’re gonna marry Bucky?”
“If that’s alright with you.” He smirks.
“Yes! Yes!” 
His heart soars. He was really going to ask Evan Buckley to marry him. 
After he texts Hen for her help and the twenty texts he receives of her freaking out in the language of keyboard smash, he tries to plan it. Keyword: tries.
From Hen;
Alright, alright diaz-buckley, how do you plan to do this
To Hen;
I have no clue!!! That’s why i asked for your help to research and what not. I’m not Buck, i’m not good at research or whatever
Also
*future diaz-buckley, we’re not married YET
From Hen;
boy... you’re in love in love huh
Your boy is sitting right across from me 
*photo attachment*
What’s he smiling at eddie?
To Hen;
Probably dog videos 
Now helllllppppppppppppp
From Hen;
You were right. A golden retriever looking at videos of golden retrievers
Patient, diaz! 
Got a call, we’ll talk later
To Hen;
Tell buck to be careful!
You too obviously
bu t you know what I mean 
He doesn’t know why he thought he could get anything done regarding the proposal through text. That’s how Hen and him were, they had never been able to stay on one conversation at a time when texting. There was one time when Hen had asked him for a recipe Buck wouldn’t give her, followed by a text about a playdate with Denny, and a text asking his high score in Candy Crush. He responded to say he’d ask him and send it and continued the conversation. Talk of playdates turned into talks of weirdest calls, talk of high scores in Candy Crush turned to talk of modern technology and so on. By the time Hen stopped responding, presumably because Karen got home, Eddie realized he’d never given her the recipe. 
It was different in person, they could sit for hours and talk about the same thing. He cherishes any conversation with Hen, though. He cherishes their friendship so much. Next to Buck, Hen was his best friend. 
That’s why he couldn’t think to ask anyone better to help him plan the next step in his life with the man that he loves.
From Hen;
Heads up, your boys in a sour mood 
Dont worry though because ik you are!
Im sure a nice cuddle from his soon to be fiance will do the trick
To Hen;
Why shouldnt I worry? An hour ago you sent me pic of him smiling 
Now hes in a bad mood? Something happened
Hennnnnnnnn tell me what happppppennnnnneddddd
What was the call
im bored and worried 
From Buck; 
Can I stay the night? Ill bring wine and chinese <22222
<4444
To Buck;
You okay there babe? Haha
You never have to ask 
Or bribe me with food and alcohol
But i will accept it <3
From Buck;
You know i hate texting don’t judge me!
See you in 10 love love love you <3
Eddie’s worried. Buck practically lived at the Diaz’s, he never had to ask to stay the night and he knew that. All Hen had sent back was the shrug emoji so he was on his own to figure out why.
As promised, Buck walks in ten minutes later with two bags of chinese food and a bottle of white wine. He seemed tense, but when he sees Eddie in his presence, he can automatically see his whole body relax. 
“I hate when we’re not on shift together.” Buck says in lieu of a greeting. He places the wine and food on the coffee table in front of them before he plops down next to Eddie.
He leans into Eddie’s touch, instantly lying his head on Eddie’s chest and closes his eyes.
Eddie smiles down at his boyfriend, automatically moving to run a hand through his curls, wrapping the other arm around Buck’s chest. “Me too. I missed you today. So did Chris.”
“I missed you both like crazy today. I can’t wait to just cuddle up to you and fall asleep.” He mumbles. “You’re my world.”
Even after all of this time, Buck can still make Eddie blush like it’s nothing.
He presses his lips to Buck’s forehead. “And you’re mine.” 
It stays quiet after that until Eddie’s stomach growls, startling Buck into sitting upright in laughter. 
“I think it’s time to eat, huh?” 
“You’d be right.” 
Buck gets up and gets two wine glasses from the kitchen. The way in which Buck walks so comfortably around his home will never fail to bring a kaleidoscope of butterflies to his stomach. He knows where everything is and he knows how everything works and it feels empty when he’s not there. 
Eddie turns on the TV and picks a random station that’s playing reruns of a cop show he’d seen here and there. Eddie and Buck’s legs are interlaced and resting on the coffee table, food in their laps when things settle. The ease on Buck’s face makes him wonder why he was even worried in the first place.
They don’t talk as they eat their food and sip their wine. They just take in each other’s company as they watch what’s on in front of them, perfectly content in just being together. 
Buck’s phone rings from the coffee table. When he lets it ring through to voicemail without even looking at ID, Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you the one who said you should answer every phone call because it might be important? Or are you just a clone of my boyfriend?”
Buck snorts. “I know it’s not important.”
It starts to ring again and Eddie sees Maddie’s name flash on the screen. “It sounds important.”
“I promise you it’s not.” 
Then she calls a third time and Buck groans. “Fine, fine. I’ll answer.” 
He doesn’t leave the room, doesn’t make any effort to grab his phone, just sits back and pouts as Eddie hands him his phone. 
He listens to Buck’s side of the conversation closely. He’s talking about not wanting to go somewhere because he doesn’t know if someone is going to be at that place and he doesn’t want to risk it. Hm.
“I was having a nice, relaxing night with Eddie before you called about something you knew the answer to, so if you’ll excuse me, I’d love to get back to that.” He throws his phone onto his lap after he hangs up, then smiles sheepishly. “Any chance you can ignore that?”
“If you don’t want to talk about it right now, that’s perfectly okay. But we do have to talk about it eventually. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you snap at Maddie, so something must have happened.”
Buck cuddles back into Eddie’s chest, revelling in his arm comfortably wrapped around his shoulders. “It’s really not a big deal, Eds. It’s just stupid.”
“Well, lucky for you, I like hearing everything you have to say. Even if it’s stupid.” 
“Did you just boop my nose?” 
“And what about it?”
All Eddie feels is the shaking from Buck’s giggling. “Shit, whoever decided I was good enough to have you in my life is someone I’d like to meet because...man, I love you.”
“Hi, nice to meet you.” Eddie smirks.
Buck hides his face in the nook of his neck. “Stop making me blush.”
“Never.”
It’s quiet again after that until Buck finally talks. “So, uh…”
“Yeah?”
“I got a wedding invitation in the mail today. It’s from my cousin, she’s getting married in Los Angeles so she invited Maddie and me. We get along just fine, always have, but I haven’t talked to her in a few years and now Maddie thinks it’s completely necessary to actually go to her wedding. I just don't know if I want to risk going and have them be there as well, you know?”
“Your parents?”
“Who else?”
“Well think about it this way. If the risk of seeing your parents again was out of the equation, would you want to go?”
Buck sighs. “Of course I would. It’d be nice to see her again and have a good time, but Eds… you know how my parents are.”
It’s true, he did know how his parents were. He remembers when they’d come to Los Angeles when they found out their first grandchild had been born. He remembers how tense Buck had been the entire time, how he let his parents walk all over him and tell him how big of a failure he was like it was a normal day to day conversation. He especially remembers yelling at Buck’s father after a particularly barbaric comment on Buck’s lifestyle. 
He knows why he’d want to avoid his parents, because Eddie would too. 
“Can you bring a plus one?”
“What?”
“Can you bring a plus one to the wedding?” He smiles when Buck nods. “Take me. If your parents are there, I’ll have your back. Plus, your cousin seems nice, I’d love to meet the family that’s not pretentious.”
Buck choked on the wine he’d taken a sip of. “You think Maddie’s pretentious?”
“Oh, yeah, definitely pretentious.” He jokes. “I mean your extended family. You’ve met mine.”
Buck sighs. “Whatever. I guess we’re going to a Buckley wedding. I really did want to see McKenna so you win.”
“I always do.” He grins before he connects his lips with Buck’s and giggles against it when his fingers press against the only ticklish part of his body.
“What? Did that tickle?” Buck gasps. “You said you weren’t ticklish!”
“I’m not!” 
“Mhm.” 
Then suddenly, the wedding worries were long forgotten, tickle war long taking its place. 
“Oooooooh, so you’re going to a wedding with him, huh?” Hen wiggles her eyebrows from where she stands across her kitchen. “That’s gonna be you one day.”
Eddie sighs exasperatedly. “Not if I have nothing planned. I wanna make this special, okay?”
Hen’s face softens. “Anything you do to propose will make it special, honey. You’re Buck’s world, a simple Marry me? would be the most romantic thing in the world to him.”
“Maybe so, but that’s how it was with Shannon. She was pregnant with Christopher so I thought the next logical step would be marriage, but this is different. Buck is different.”
“Alright, alright, let’s get to work, then.” She opens her laptop. “What are some of your favorite things about him?”
Eddie’s face erupts into a look of pure adoration at that question. “Oh, Henrietta, you have no idea what you just got yourself into, asking that. What are some of my favorite things about Evan Buckley? Let’s see… When he wakes up in the morning, he makes this cute little noise when he stretches and it makes my heart fill with joy. He loves Christopher like he’s his own and he never treats him differently. He just has so much knowledge about literally anything. Random facts upon random facts are stored in that beautiful brain of his and whenever he tells me one of these random facts, it’s suddenly the most important thing in the world. He’s so selfless, you know this. When we got together and I still wasn’t sure about being open about my sexuality, he put my fears above his own fear of telling you guys. He’s an amazing cook, so amazing I have a hard time believing that before he joined the one-eighteen the only thing he could cook was ramen. Even if he could still only cook ramen, I’d still love him, we’d just be living off of frozen food. I love the little family we’ve got going on now. I can go on for hours, but I won’t. Any of that help?” 
By the time he was done, Karen was home and trying her hardest not to tease the lovesick man.
“Oh, honey, you’ve got it bad.” Karen giggles. “Buck has it just bad, though.”
Hen clears her throat. “What’s something that’s specific to you and Buck? Christopher, too. You can always propose that way. Doing something and it’ll just come completely unexpected?”
The metaphorical light bulb over Eddie’s head flashes on. “I have it!”
It’s a Friday morning at the firehouse and Eddie finds himself next to Hen, looking over her shoulder as she helps him navigate what needs to be done to propose. 
His eyes travel up to meet his boyfriend’s as he walks up the stairs, and even though his smile is bright as he sees him, there’s bags under his eyes. The second his eyes land on Chimney though, he deflates and rolls his eyes. Chimney has a smug look and Eddie knows he definitely missed something.
“You can’t avoid me forever, Buckaroo.” 
Buck looks over to Hen and Eddie, making an exaggerated face of confusion. 
“Did you guys hear something?” 
Bobby laughs from where he’s at in the kitchen, Hen snorts, and Eddie is grinning, looking between the soon to be brother in laws.
“How mature of you, Evan.” Chimney rolls his eyes. “I just wanna talk about the wedding next week and he keeps rolling his eyes and running away. Eddie, make him stop.” 
Buck scoffs. “You’re sitting here whining and you’re calling me the immature one.” 
“I wouldn’t be whining if you just talk to me for once. I just want more information, who I’m gonna meet, if your parents are coming, c’mon give me something.”
“Alright.” Buck smirks. “For good luck, Egyptian women pinch the bride before the wedding.”
Chimney groans. “What?”
“Engagement and wedding rings are worn on the fourth fingers of the left hand because it was once thought that a vein in that finger leads directly to the heart.”
“That’s beautiful, but I wanna talk about the wedding next week.” Chimney whines.
Eddie is torn between wanting to laugh and being worried about his boyfriend. It’s obvious Chim doesn’t know that this is Buck’s classic mode of deflection, and Buck seems to know this. Eddie can tell Buck is just beginning, too. 
“Seventeen tons of gold are made into wedding rings each year in the United States.”
“Maddie says you would know more about the family that’s going to the wedding, so why won’t you just tell me?”
“Ancient Greeks and Romans thought the veil protected the bride from evil spirits. Brides have worn them ever since.”
Chimney turns to Eddie and Hen, arms out in exasperation, desperate. “Eddie!”
Eddie shrugs his shoulder. “If he doesn’t wanna talk about the wedding, don’t make him talk about the wedding. I’m not gonna make my f- my boyfriend do something he doesn’t want to do.” 
Buck’s too distracted in his minds’ files of facts on weddings to tell Chimney to hear him almost slip up, but Chimney’s got his eyebrow raised and he hears Hen snicker under her breath, nice one. 
Chimney eyes him suspiciously for a moment before he goes back to the problem at hand. “Maddie doesn’t know her cousin all that well, she’s more around Buck’s age, I just want to know what I should expect because I know how the Buckley’s are. Why can’t you just tell me something, man?”
“The most expensive wedding was Sheik Rashad Bin Al Maktoum’s son’s marriage to Princess Salama in Dubai in 1981. It was forty-four million dollars.”
“What about your cousin’s wedding?”
“In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness.”
Before Chimney can ask once more, Eddie cuts in again. “He hasn’t seen anyone in his family in years, why would he know who’s going?”
“Thank you!” Buck sighs and drops next to Eddie, who shuts his laptop so fast it probably would have broken the screen. “I have plenty of more facts about weddings if you want to keep talking about the wedding, though.”
Chimney hears the message it is and sighs. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t like talking about your family. I’m just feeling a little anxious here, ya know?”
Buck sighs. “Me too, Chim. But if it helps you any, McKenna is not at all as pretentious and callous as my parents. That’s all I can and want to tell you about though, so please… Let it go.” 
Hen reaches over and places her hand on Buck’s in an attempt of comfort before her soft smile turns to a smirk. “So Buckaroo, why do you know so much about weddings?”
Eddie’s eyes go comically wide. 
“A little late night reading.” He shrugs. 
“Hm.” She turns to Eddie with a smirk when Bobby calls Buck over to help.
Eddie groans softly, resting his head on the cold wood of the dining table. “I hate you.”
“No you don’t.”
Three days later, Eddie finds himself at a jewelry shop on Wilshire with Hen and Karen.
“I feel like all of these rings look the same.” He whines. 
“You’ve looked at four rings and this store is huge.” Hen rolls her eyes. “You’ll know when you’ve found the right ring, okay?”
“Will I?”
Karen snorts. “Yes, you will. Trust me, I went through this same thing when I was proposing to Hen. You’ll just know.”
So Eddie keeps looking. He’s completely indecisive as if it’s him that’s going to be wearing the ring, because Buck definitely wouldn’t care about a fancy ring or any ring at all, but Eddie needs it to be special. 
“How about this?” Karen calls from the other end of the store. When Eddie reaches her, she’s pointing at a black band, definitely something he can automatically picture on Buck’s hand. It still didn’t feel right to him, though. He says as much to Karen before he starts searching the glass case in front of them for more. 
He gasps as soon as he sees it. Hen was right about just knowing.
He calls over the jeweler and asks to see it. The second he’s holding it in between his fingers, he can see himself getting down on one knee. He can see it on Buck’s ring finger, shining brightly to everyone Buck proudly shows it to. It’s definitely the ring.
“This is it.” He grins, looking side to side at the women standing next to him and then smiles at the jeweler. 
Karen and Hen squeal loudly. “What is it about this ring, Diaz-Buckley?” 
“In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness.”
21 notes · View notes
dreamgirl4certain · 5 years
Text
The Elevator Bae
ONE TWO THREE
Chapter FOUR
Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)
Word Count: 5k
Tumblr media
Reruns of Martin plays in the tv as Phoenix whips up her pancake batter. She has turkey bacon and hash browns done on the stove. A knock on the door turns into a beat brin made on the door.
Ava!
Phoenix swings the door open to find Ava and Mica holding up orange juice and liquor.
“What’s brunch without liquor?” Mica says walking in. She immediately looks through the cabinets for a pitcher and begins missing up mimosas. Ava sits on a stool at the kitchen counter while Phoenix starts making the pancakes.
“Let’s just get straight to it, what’s up with Erik?” Ava asks.
Mica pours their drinks. “Who is Erik?”
“A nigga that she want.”
Mica eyes Phoenix for her to explain. She tries to focus on the task at hand of flipping her pancakes.
“Ma’am, get to talking.”
“He lives here. I met him on the elevator. We’ve run into each other from time to time.”
Ava slams her hand on the counter. “Mica, she’s fucking with us. Coby said they be having moments on the elevator, flirting and shit. But come to find out, he’s messing with Sydney--”
“BIG BOOTY SYDNEY?”
“He’s not messing with her.”
Ava’s head snaps over to her. “How you know?”
Phoenix bites her lip as she makes their plates. “He told me.”
“When he say this?”
“Wait, wait,” Mica intervens, “How y’all know he was allegedly messing with Syd?”
Ava has a mouth full of bacon at this point just spilling the little beans that she has. “We seen her in the garage and she was all asking Philly about if she seen the nigga because he left her place like a theif in the night and never called her back.”
“Damn! This nigga a savage and you like him?” Mica turns to Phoenix with concern.
“That is not what she said, Mica. But, he told me last night, this morning, whatever… that she’s cool but he ain’t feeling her in that way.”
“Let me guess, on the elevator?” Ava sticks her tongue out teasing Phoenix. Phoenix gives her the middle finger. Mica swats her hand, “Focus. What exactly did he say?”
“Well… he mentioned having his eye on someone else,” Mica and Ava share a look as Phoenix continued. “And I told him he should tell Sydney he doesn’t like her.”
“...that’s it?” Mica says stuffing hash browns in her mouth.
“No, he-- well, I told him he looks tired and get some rest when I was getting off the elevator. Then he says, “Goodnight baby girl.” and winks at me all flirty and shit.”
“Oh girl, niggas love throwing in a baby girl,” Mica says refilling her glass. “I wouldn’t think nothing of that.”
Phoenix looks to Ava for her input.
“Honestly Philly, I don’t know. Because yeah, niggas just be talking but at the same time, we dont know who this man is. For all we know, you could be making all this shit up.”
“Why would I make this up?”
“No, no I’m not saying you are at all. My point is, only you can judge the vibe between y’all because we don’t know who he is.”
“What he look like?” Mica says with a mouth full of pancakes.
“He’s tall, brown, nice teeth, dreads.”
“Oh, so he’s a daddy. Yeah, you can’t trust those.”
Ava almost spit out her drink from laughing.
-------
The gold chain with a ring hanging from it that sits around Erik’s neck, swings back and forth as he does his last few push ups. He sits up on his floor, rolling his neck and stretching it. His phone lights up on the coffee table in front of him.
Text: Sydney
He swipes to close it without reading it. He gets up and goes into the bathroom, turning on the shower. He steps out of his sweaty clothes and steps in. The warmth of the water stings the new small scar on his abdomen. Biting his lip until the slight pain fades away. Allowing the water to run over his body, he closes his eyes releasing a long sigh.
After washing his body and face, he puts on fresh clothes and relaxes on his huge sectional couch. It’s been a long week for Erik and a day of just chilling is exactly what he needed and wanted. He searched through Netflix with nothing really catching his eye. So he picked up his phone, opening Sydney’s text. It was the 4th text she had sent him since he left her place a few nights ago.
Sydney: E, What’s up?
Sydney: So you’re not going to text me back?
Sydney: Are you okay?
Sydney: so you’re just gonna go ghost. Most niggas wait until after they hit. At this point, I dnt even care.
His thumb hovered over the keyboard. Phoenix’s words singing in his ear, I think you should tell her. Communication is key.
She was right, just letting her know he’s not into to her like that is the right thing to do. But, he definitely took the part about communication being about him being more open about liking her instead. He finally types a response.
Erik: Hey. my bad, i’ve been busy. working.
Sydney: you have some free time now? You just left and i wanted to see you.
Erik: Im free but i dont really wanna chill. I like you Syd, but as a friend.
Sydney: wow. Ok
With that out the way, Erik opened his Instagram app, scrolling up his timeline. He comes across a picture that his friend, Shawn posted. Shawn went out to the opening of Club X the night before. He was one of the promoters. As Erik swipes through Shawn’s pics, he notices one that he’s in with three women. One of them being Phoenix. The caption says ‘ClubX now open. Come get lit with the dopest DJ in the city.’ Erik taps the photo to reveal the tags. @DJPhoenixBlue , @AmazingAva , @Micaxoxo , @CamrenMarie. Did he just find Phoenix’s IG page? Without a second thought, he clicks her page and yes… yes he did find elevator bae’s page. He carefully looked and admired every picture. He found himself looking at a pic from June 2016 when Phoenix was back in Detroit, walking through downtown with one of her old friends. That’s when he knew he was doing the most. He scrolled back to the top of her page, reading her bio. He clicks the soundcloud link that’s attached and takes a listen. He nods his head to the R&B beat. It was definitely a vibe. He let her playlist play. He laid his head back onto the couch, closing his eyes. He was on the 5th beat before he sat up to sounds of his stomach rumbling.
“Shit.” He goes into the kitchen, Phoenix’s music still playing. There wasn’t much left in his refrigerator with him being gone for days. He turns the music off to focus on searching through his various food apps to order something. He found himself back on Phoenix’s Instagram page. He leans back on his kitchen counter, completing forgetting about food. He debates with himself if he should follow her. He stood there with his thumb hanging over the follow button. Fuck it. He taps follow. He came this far, he might as well like a few pics.
He orders from a cafe he likes that’s not too far from his home. It’ll be there in 20 minutes. He finds his way back into the living room, on the couch. He settles with rewatching Naruto. Only made sense because it was his favorite.
---------
Mica helps Phoenix load up the dirty dishes into her dishwasher as Ava rolls them a blunt. Phoenix gave more than enough detail about every encounter she has had with Erik since meeting him. She even told them about the dream she had about him. Mica doesn’t seem to like the idea of Erik while Ava tried to convince Phoenix to shoot her shot with him. Phoenix figured it wouldn’t hurt to ‘think about it.’
After finishing their breakfast and cleaning up, the women are sitting out on Phoenix’s balcony, smoking and trying to make plans for Camren. Her birthday was the weekend coming up and Camren made it clear that she wanted to do Hoodrat things with her friends. That was her only request. They already have a surprise girls trip that they planned months ago, but the three of them would make her ratchet dreams come true.
“Let’s do a surprise dinner and take her ass to the club,” Phoenix says, passing the blunt to Mica. “I can get us a section.”
“Yeahhhh, get some big ass pictures of her face and bottles.” Ava added.
“That would make her so happy.” Mica says between coughs and laughs.
They finalize their plans for the weekend. They are taking Camren out to eat, the club and will surprise her with their planned vacation when she wakes up the next morning with a hangover, contemplating life. Ava and Mica say their goodbyes to Phoenix and leave out to wait for the elevator. When the doors open, they come face to face with Erik. He’s alone in the cabin. He recognizes them immediately as the girls in the pictures with Phoenix and Shawn. He moves over to the left of the cabin. Mica stands center and Ava to the right. Silence sits over the three of them. Erik could feel that one of them is staring fire into the side of his face. When he turns to them, Mica is giving him the worst death stare he’s experienced in his life. They stare at each other.
“Is your name Erik?”
“Yeah. Do I know you?
Ava’s head snaps quickly in his direction. She hadn’t even thought about who the man was in the cabin with them. Mica remembered every detail Phoenix gave about what Erik looked like. He’s tall, brown, nice teeth, dreads.
“Nah, you don’t know me,” Mica says, turning to fully face him. “But what you do need to know is when it comes to Philly, I’ll kick yo’ ass, you pretty muthafucker.”
Erik is confused and caught off guard. Who in the hell is this woman. Is Philly, Phoenix? He really didn’t know how to respond to this threat. Ava pinches the bridge of her nose. She can’t take Mica, NOWHERE!
“Who the fuck is Philly?”
“Oh my God,” Ava intervenes, “You have to excuse her. She’s high as fuck.” Ava grabs Mica’s arm and pulled her to the right side of the cabin, away from Erik. “We’re friends of Phoenix, nice to meet you.”
Erik eyes Mica who seems uninterested in him. “Nice to meet y’all too… I think.”
The elevator doors open and Ava steps out, dragging Mica with her. Watching the two of them made Erik laugh. As he made his way to his car, it hit him what Mica and Ava said. She talked to her friends about him? What in the hell did she say for her friends to be so protective? Either way, he couldn’t stop the redness from forming on his cheeks.
Once Ava and Mica were in Ava’s car, without skipping a beat, Mica facetimes Phoenix. “Sis. We just seen your pretty ass man on the elevator.”
“What?”
“What?” Mica says in a mocking tone. “You love playing stupid. Ya’ boy Erik. I had to let him know he better be on some real shit when it comes to you.”
“MICA!” Phoenix covers her face with her free hand.
“You’re welcome. And he is fine though. I see why you pressed but I still don’t trust his ass.”
-------
The next morning, Phoenix started her day with some morning yoga. She had a few errands to run before a studio session later that night. She needed to go to the bank, do a little grocery shopping and reup on some hair products. She had used the last of her Miss Jessie’s curl cream the night of the club opening. Her hair has been in that same bun since. Putting on some dark denim shorts and a red one shoulder crop top, paired with some red vans, she headed out.
Luckily, when Phoenix arrived at the bank, her favorite banker, Ms. Kim was there. Whenever she’d have to go to the bank, she loved going to her to handle her money. Ms. Kim was an older, black woman that gave her all of the cool, auntie vibes. Ms. Kim was the one who helped Phoenix set up a seperate account for her business account and tax account. She honestly made everything easier.
“Good Afternoon, Miss Phoenix,” Ms. Kim stands, greeting Phoenix has she approached her desk.
“Hi, Ms. Kim.”
Ms. Kim motions for Phoenix to take a seat.
“How have you been little lady? Busy I take it since it’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen you in here.”
Phoenix smiles, “Yeah, I’ve been working like crazy.”
“That’s good. At least you’re busy doing something you love though, right?
“Yes. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, honestly.”
“I’m glad. Now what can I help you with today?”
Phoenix digs into her purse, pulling out two checks. “I want to deposit these and send a little something to my Mom. She’s been bugging me about a purse.” She shakes her head. Ms. Kim laughs and takes the checks and does her magic. She knows just how Phoenix wanted to break up the checks into each of her accounts, which is why Phoenix loved her so much. She never had to ask too many questions. She just knew what to do.
------
Phoenix made her way to the farmers market, getting as much food as she could fit into her basket. She always did this, knowing the struggles of carrying all of the tote bags up to her apartment. But without fail, she did this to herself, every time. Loading her groceries into her car, she heads home. She didn’t have much on her mind but she wasn’t fully there as she pulls into the parking garage of her apartment. She parks her car and starts grabbing her bags from her trunk when one falls and she smashes her carton of eggs. She pouts, pissed off with herself about dropping the bag.
“You have to be kidding me!” She stands there, holding her face trying not to be too upset about it.
“You need some help?” Phoenix turns to find Erik walking in her direction, his keys in hand. She was a bit frozen when she saw him. He was wearing a fitted white shirt with grey joggers and his dreads were braided back. She just stood there, staring at him until his laugh shook her from her trance. He loved how his presence would stall her.
“Umm, no. I’m okay. I don’t wanna hold you up.” She picks up the bag that fell and tries to grab more bags from the trunk. Erik didn’t say anything, he just reached for the bags in her hands, taking them from her.
“Erik…” she tries to protest.
“Girl, grab the rest of the bags and c’mon. I’m not in a rush.”
She was lowkey shocked but did what he said. She grabbed the rest of the bags and closed her trunk, locking her doors. He stood, holding the majority of her groceries so she hit the call button.
“You really didn’t have to--”
“I wanted to. If I’m right here, you don’t need to be carrying all of this up alone.”
“Thank You.” she says in a low tone.
The elevator doors open and they step inside headed up to Floor 7. Phoenix tried to avoid looking at Erik. One, he was looking damn good right now and two, she never knew how she’d react to him.
“You look beautiful today. I like the whole messy bun flow you got going on.” he finally says.
“OH SHIT! Im sorry, Thank you. You just reminded me that I forgot to pick up some stuff for my hair.”
“What do you use on your hair?”
“Um this Miss Jessie’s curl cream and this Shea Moisture leave in. I completely forgot and I’m all out of both.”
The elevator doors open and Erik follows her to her door. Taking note of the ‘702’ on her door. She pushes the heavy door open and holds it open for him. He follows her into the kitchen, placing the many bags on the counter. Phoenix struggles to get her hand out of the handle of one of the bags, not realizing she’s still holding her keys. Her phone starts ringing in her back pocket. She’s panicking trying to get her hand free and getting her phone. Watching her struggle was a good time for Erik. He walked up to her, taking her keys from her hand and taking the bag from her wrist. His hands were rough and warm and it caught her off guard… as usual.
“Thanks.” She answers her phone just in time. It’s another engineer that she was suppose to have the studio session with. He called to tell her that the artist they were supposed to work with, cancelled so it wasn't a point in going tonight. She was disappointed. She hated when people would cancel last minute being that the studio was her happy place.
The disappointment she felt was all over her face as she hung up the phone.
“Everything okay?” Erik asked. For a moment, she forgot that he was there.
“Yeah, the artist I was suppose to have a studio session with cancelled on me.”
“Oh yeah, you’re a DJ.”
She never told him that. How would he know that? “Yeah… I’m just gonna go by myself though. I have some stuff that I need to get done.”
Erik sways back and forth, debating on if he should ask. Phoenix starts putting away her groceries. She assumed Erik would just leave at that point but he continued to stand there with his hands in his pocket. She stops what she’s doing and eyes him suspiciously.
“This is weird, but would you mind if I tagged along with you? To the studio.”
She was NOT expecting that. Suddenly Ava’s words rang in her ear. Shoot your shot. The thought of that made her nervous but she stopped the nerves in their tracks. What’s the worst that could happen? He wouldn’t ask if he wasn’t interested, right?
“Uh, yeah sure… wait, weren’t you going somewhere before you helped me with my bags?”
Erik leans over onto her counter, rubbing his hands together. “Yeah, but it wasn’t important. Just chilling with some homies.”
“So you’re just gonna bail on your friends to hang out with me? You don’t even know me.”
“You don’t really know me but I’m all up in ya’ kitchen right now.”
He had a point. She just shook her head and finishes putting away her groceries. He watched her every move. It’s still pretty early so Phoenix still has time to go out and get her hair products before heading to the studio.
“Well everything’s put away. I’m gonna go get my hair stuff. You can just meet me in the garage around 8. Is that cool?”
Eriks stands up straight, “Yeah.”
She smiles and grabs her purse, walking to the door. Erik follows. He waits for her by the elevators as she locks her door. When the elevators opens for them, Mya steps off.
“Hey Phoenix.”
“Hey, Mya.” she waves at her. Mya looks at Erik and then back to Phoenix, mouthing to her. “YAS SIS!” Phoenix laughs. Erik is going up to his place to wait for her so she says bye to him and watches him step in and the doors close. She patiently waits for the cabin to come back down to take her down to the parking garage. Making it to the beauty supply, she buys way more than she needed. Getting some new Mane Choice shampoo, a long, curly ponytail (because you never know when you’ll need one), the curl creams she came for and some hair accessories. She could never control herself in the beauty supply store. It was like a candy store for black girls.
She made her way back home and couldn’t resist washing her hair to try her new products and honestly, she couldn’t wait to retire that messy bun.
------
Erik waits in the parking garage for Phoenix. Checking his phone, it’s now 8:12pm. He’s not usually a patient man but he would wait for as long as he needed for her. Finally a ding from the elevators alerts him that someone is getting off. Phoenix steps out with fresh curls that are still partially wet. She had changed into some black joggers and a Snoop Dogg T-Shirt with her backpack hanging on one arm.
“I’m sorry. I really had to wash my hair.”
He smiles at her. “It’s not a problem, baby girl.”
There’s that name again. She stares at him. “Uh, yeah. You ready?”
“Lead the way.”
He follows her to her car. He steps around her, opening her door for her. She smiles a thank you and he walks around, getting into the passenger seat. She holds up the Aux cord.
“This is my only offer. Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
“You’re the DJ. Let me hear what you like to listen to.”
Phoenix proceeds to plug in her phone and put her playlist on shuffle. Megan thee Stallion x Cash Shit comes on blasting through the speakers as Phoenix pulls out onto the road. She raps along.
Yeah, I’m in my bag // but I’m in his too.
That’s why every time you see me // I got some new shows. AH!
Erik enjoys the show of Phoenix rapping along to every song that comes on. He even joins in when Dreamville x Got Me comes on.
I got you long as you got me // And I got you long as you got me
----
Walking into the studio building, Phoenix greets the security guy at the front desk. This is her favorite studio to work in so she knows everyone who works out of the building by name.
“Hey, Larry.”
“Hello, Miss Blue.”
She loves that he calls her that. Erik nods at Larry and Larry does the same. They continue to an elevator that takes them to the third floor. Walking into the huge studio, Phoenix flicks on the lights and begins setting up her laptop, pulling out her writing notebook. Erik looks around. Blue and green lights, light up the booth that sits in front of them.
“You want something to drink? There’s all types of stuff in the fridge.” Phoenix asks, sitting in a big, comfy chair.
“Nah, I’m good for now.” Erik sits next to her. He sits and just watches as she finishes setting up everything. She has a few samples that she made in her files so she starts with those first. A very smooth R&B Style beat with drums begins to play through the speakers. Phoenix digs in her backpack and pulls out a bag of weed.
“You smoke?” she asks, taking out a back wood.
“Yeah.”
“When I come here alone, this is how I set the mood.”
He watches her carefully as she breaks the weed down so effortlessly. She bobs her head to the beat, filling the back wood with the weed. He could tell, this was her zone. She seemed so relaxed here. Even he couldn’t shake her up right now.
“So, Erik,” She adds emphasis to his name. “Tell me something.”
“What you wanna know?” he watches as she begins to perfectly lick the blunt closed. He’s mesmerized.
“What do you do?”
“In the Navy… engineer.”
She looks at him as she lights the blunt and takes a drag. She slowly releases the smoke. “You from here?”
“Yeah. Grew up in Oakland. You?”
“Nah… I’m from Detroit.”
“Damn, that’s what’s up. When did you come out here?”
She hands him the blunt. “Last year. My career started taking off. I was flying out here like every other week so I just moved out here.”
“You like it?”
“I love it.”
They passed the blunt back and forth until it was gone. The same beat still playing in the background. Phoenix was feeling her high and the beat. Melodies started coming to her as she sung a series of Ahhhs and Heyyys until they formed into lyrics and she wrote them down in her notebook.
“Damn girl, you can sing?”
“I can hold a note or two.”
“Have you ever wrote and recorded any songs for yourself?”
“I have a few.”
“Can I hear one?”
She’s hesitant at first but she goes through her files and finds a song she wrote when she broke up with her ex. As the song played, Erik paid close attention to every word, every note. He felt like he could hear her pain in her voice. She noticed the focused expression on his face. Like he was trying to figure out the exact story that inspired the song.
“Wrote this last year when I came out here. My ex… he uh, he cheated and had a baby.”
The song ends and she goes back to the beats she was listening to before.
“You’ve been single since?” he asks.
“Yeah. Just been working. If I’m gonna give a nigga my time, he has to understand my work. He can’t get in the way of that, ya’ know?”
“I get it.”
“How long have you been single?”
Erik sits back in his chair, rubbing his beard. “I’ve actually never really been in a relationship.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. Life just didn’t seem to allow me to do all of that.”
“Why?”
Erik was never one to open up to people. Maybe it was the weed or maybe it was the vibe, but he felt safe with Phoenix in this moment. “I had to take care of myself growing up. Parents died young so I didn’t have time for distractions. Got into college early. Went to MIT,” Phoenix eyes grew big at that. 
“Do you think things have changed for you now? Like… maybe you would be able to try out a relationship or something?”
“Well, where I am now, if that’s what I wanted to do, I’ll figure it out. But it’s like you said, it has to be somebody that understands my work.”
She nods and turns to work on the beat that’s playing. After making a few adjustments, she figured out just what it was missing. She looked to Erik and noticed he was vibing out to the new, improved beat.
“You like it?”
“Hell yeah. I fuck with this.”
That made her happy. She loved when other people were vocal about her work.
“Can I ask you something, Erik?”
“Wassup?”
“So… what really happened with you and Sydney?”
He looks at her. He couldn’t read her like he usually could. “Nothing. We hung out. Chilled at her place. Got so high, we both passed out and I left. She wanted to do more but like I told you, I wasn’t feeling it.”
She played with her fingers. He rolled his chair closer to her and lifted her chin so she’s looking at him. “You don’t have to worry about her.”
“What?” She moved back. “I’m not worried about her. I was just-- nothing, never mind.”
He didn’t push her to continue. She opted to ask him more generic questions.
“Anyways… um, what’s your favorite color?”
If this is how she wanted this to go, he’d play along. “My favorite color is black. Yours?”
“Blue.” she smiled.
By the end of the session, Phoenix had finished two beats. She even showed Erik how to work a few buttons so he could help her record a few hooks and a verse. By the end of the session, they knew a lot more about each other. Erik’s last name is Stevens and he was 31. He loved french toast and watching anime. Phoenix was 27 with a birthday coming in just a few months. Erik may or may not be plotting to get her something. She loved animals and told him about her most embarrassing moment in high school when she was performing for pep rally and tripped on her own two feet in front of the whole school. They had a good time with each other. It was almost 2am when they left.
As they waited for the elevator, Erik stood dangerously close to Phoenix. She could feel like body heat and she wanted so bad to wrap her arms around him for him to warm her up.
“I had a good time with you tonight, Philly.”
“I had a good time with you too, Stevens.” She poked his chest.
The elevator arrives and they step on, Floor 7 and Penthouse floor as their destinations. The ride up was a comfortable, tired silence. As Phoenix got off on her floor, Erik reached for her hand, stopping her right between the open doors. He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumbs. He licked his lips and she watched with her mouth parted slightly. He knew just what he was doing. “Goodnight, baby girl.”
If this nigga dont stop this!
“Goodnight, E.”
He was surprised at the nickname. Sure, most people called him E, but coming from her, at this moment, felt different. Like equivalent to his ‘baby girl.’ He felt a rush move through his chest as she slowly slid her hand from his, stroking his fingers and smiled at him. She stood on the other side of the doors until the doors shut. This time, it was Erik with jelly legs. He caught himself by leaning back on the back wall of the cabin as it traveled up. He has never felt like this with no woman… ever!
When he made it into his place, he stripped out of his clothes and took a hot shower. Thinking of the way her hand felt in his made his dick twitch under the warm water. He stroked it a few times before choosing to just wash up and go to bed. He really didn’t understand this feeling and didn’t want to process it right now. He just wanted to have this moment. Whatever it was. As he made himself comfortable in his cool sheets, he picked up his phone, opening Instagram. Phoenix’s story the first one highlighted at the top of his screen. He clicked it and 4 minutes ago, she posted a photo of the city’s view from her bedroom with the caption ‘Nights like This❤️ ’
There it is… that feeling in his chest again. He locks his phone and drifts off to sleep with Phoenix as the last thought on his mind.
-------
Tags: @purple-apricots @abeautifulmindexposed @lostennyc @missshae @tip222u @janelledarling @lushloaded @chaneajoyyy **If anyone would like to be tagged in the next one, let me know.
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grace30102 · 4 years
Text
Please.... be my bestfriend
Chapter 1: New days
If I had one wish, I'd go back and live life all again. Although this time I'd choose where id go and who I'd love.
Since I was a child I loved south korea and dreamt that one day id have the opportunity to live there. Everything captivated me, the music, the cuisine. But I think what really drew me in truly was their attitude towards plastic surgery. You see, as a baby i was born with a birthmark, a port wine stain birthmark right across my lips and left ear. Growing up in the uk, it isn't the norm to have gone through 2 surgeries by the age of 14 to get them removed. Plus the bullying definitely didn’t help. But by 15 i had had enough, i wanted to go somewhere where i felt i belonged and wouldnt be ridiculed for the issues i had with my self-image. So with alot of Korean practice and alot of persisting to my mother...i was on my way to korea.
“please be good to your host family, they're letting you into their home so make sure to be clean!”
“yes mum, i know, i will”
“make sure to text us on the plane and when you get off and when your coach comes and...”
“mum, i will, everythings gunna be great. I know it”
“i know, but its a different country and you know how i worry”
And she does worry, alot...too much for her own good. I'd know id miss them but this is truly what i wanted to do. I could tell my dad was getting nervous for me, but never said too much to me that day. I think he knew that if he spoke, his voice may crack, so he kept it to hard short sentences..
“right honey, lets let her go”
“okay okay, be good, love you so much, be safe”
“i will love you too”
And like that, i was gone.
Honestly i LOVE travel. I dont know where it started or why, but i loved the idea od sitting on a plane for hours by myself. I think it has something to do with music and finding just that right mixture of joy and meditation. I slept most of the way there, knowing that when i arrived it would probably be almost 5 in the morning and id have school a few hours later.
By the time i landed in korea i was shaking, not only because it was extremely cold, but because i was so scared. I wished to have good friends here. That maybe being here was where i was meant to be.
On the couch the landscape was incredible, to be honest it wasnt alot different from where i lived. But sooner we travelled further into the city of seoul, the scenery changed and as well so did the pace of my heartbeat.
I was dropped off at a small building complex with my bags. Not more than 6 flats where in this building and all not looking too big. My host family were at number 3, so i plucked up my tired feet and all the confidence i had left in order to greet my new roomates with a bright smile.
“hello, im y/n. Its a pleasure to meet you”
“ah finally, yes, nice to meet you. Come in”
Okay...od but whatever. We wont judge her tone too harshly. Maybe she's tired, i means its only 7am.
“thankyou so much for letting me stay in your home this year”
“yes okay, here you are. Breakfast is in the top shelf. Dinner is at 8. Curfew 9.”
Idk why she said the fist part in English but okay....she opened a door just next to the front door, turned on the light and walked away.
Well...okay then. The room was..not huge...well it wasnt really medium either. It was quite small. Kinda like a bike closet. But whatever, it will do for this year. I don't take up much space. Plus, I'll be cleaner if the rooms smaller. Though...the bike and rack of coats crowding the space wasnt really helpful. But at least the window was pretty. There was a little withered What i think was a rhododendron. ..But i might be wrong.
“dont worry little fella, we’re gunna grow nice and strong”
I couldnt really eat i was so scared for school. I had to pick up my uniform there so i figured it wouldnt hurt to be early. The school was about a 40 minute walk but i kinda enjoyed it...again..i like travel. By the time i got there, the gates were open. No one was around so i guess that was a good thing that i wasnt sticking out too much. I had an idea of where the front office was due to prior phone calls with some of the staff who were eager for me to arrive. One of these teachers was miss. Joun. She was very excited about me coming over and having a foreign exchange student from the uk. I guess i was the first British person they've had in a while?
It wasnt long before i met her in person, her smile was infectious and exactly what i imagined it to be. He helped me with my uniform and personally dropped me to my first class of the day.
Not too much happened in class, everyone welcomed me nicely and cheered for me but after that it seemed really hard to talk to someone. My anxiety was getting the best of me and i knew i had to be confident and at least attempt some talk. But the words just didnt come out. Lunch rolled around fast, but that wasnt really that much fun either. I didnt really sit with anyone and i was shaking like a mad man..so that wasnt helping. I kept hearing the word “pig”. I knew i wasnt as skinny as alot of the other girls im the school..but it was only because of the puppy fat. I dont know, maybe i was a little chubby. Ive never really thought about it too much before.
School seemed to move slower after that and i was actually feeling a little relieved to be walking home again. Though i found a little bench outside a park on my way back and decided to do a little extra korean before i got back. Maybe id try to make my new host family laugh or want to spend time with me. I dont know.
By 8 i was starving. The house was empty when i got home so i resided in my room till i had the confidence to venture out for food. I was half hoping someone would knock and call me sweetly . But alas nothing. When i reached the kitchen they were all there cleaning up their plates. I kinda felt like crying. But then again i couldnt blame them. I was knew here, i didnt know their schedule.
“hello, good afternoon”
“heres dinner”
The wife had but down a small plate infront of me with what looked like a few overdone kimchi pancakes and an apple. Not gunna lie i was kinda confused. But thanked her none the less. This was my fist encounter with the husband.
“hello, its nice to meet you, i’m y/n”
“hello, lin-ah i want a beer”
Well..okay . And just like that they both left me to watch the tv. Their son was still at the table studying. So i tried not to disturb him with my eating. Wwhen i was done i wasnt sure what to do with the plate.
“excuse me, what should i do”
“what are you saying, clean it”
Okay kinda rude. But sure. I did just that.
I went back to my room quicker than i thought was possible. I kinda just wanted to sleep. Today wasn't the best, but hey, it was a big one, an important one. It didnt have to be good by other people. You made it here. And that's all that mattered.
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1rosex · 6 years
Text
BTS reaction to sleeping with their best friend when drunk
Request: ¡Hola! Can I request a bts reaction to them sleeping with their bbf when they are both drunk and the morning after , since they don't have romantic feeling for one another they just take it as a joke ( something like " omg I didn't know you were that good at it"idk😂) and go on being friends thank you !
Warnings: smut
Masterlist
I HIGHLY SUGGEST READING THE REQUEST SO THIS MAKES SENSE!!
Jin
Jin woke up, despite being drunk he could actually remember last nights events. He narrowed his eyes, laying there with a headache trying to recall every last bit. You were both drinking and joking around, next thing he knew you were kissing him. Soon, you two were moving rhythmically under the sheets.
Jin smacked his lips together and felt along his waist, seems he'd passed out before he could get dressed. You shuffled besides him, sitting up and yawning as Jin kept remembering memories and piecing them together. All of a sudden, he shot up into a sitting position and glared at you.
"Whoa Jin- what's wrong?" You asked, he'd scared you when he moved so fast.
"You didn't give me a blowjob last night!" He suddenly said, offended. You were trying really hard not to laugh, but you couldn't help it. Your lips pulled up into a dumbfounded smile.
"What?"
"I make you spaghetti, and this is how you repay me. I thought we were friends Y/N." He shook his head as he hurried to get changed, leaving you behind laughing at his reaction.
"I was tired!" You called out after him.
He eventually made you two breakfast and made sure to tend to your hungover pain, because Jin's the best friend out there no matter what.
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Namjoon
Namjoon struggled to get up, his head was pounding. His mouth was sour with the aftertaste of beer, he didn't remember how drunk he'd gotten. That was usually not a good sign. Namjoon jumped when he realized he didn't even have a shirt on, and he definitely didn't have pants on either. Namjoon took a minute to collect his thoughts before looking over at the other side of the bed. You were barely starting to wake up, realizing the same thing he had. You both stared at each other for a long time.
"Did we..." He asked, trailing off.
"I think we did." You nodded, looking around. Namjoin nodded, calmly. "We're not like.. Anything else though..?"
You shook your head. Namjoon nodded again. He didn't want to ruin the friendship between the two of you, even if last night had been nice. He'd rather not focus your friendship on it, he didn't want to use you.
"A lot bigger than you thought huh?" Namjoon suddenly said, turning to look at you knowingly. You rolled your eyes and looked away, throwing the pillow at him. "Oh shush! I'm going to be sore for the next few months thanks to you."
"What'd you expect Y/N? You didn't go so easy yourself, my makeup artist is gonna be curious." He rubbed the tight muscles over his chest and neck before yawning. "You want to go get some pancakes? Im starving."
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Yoongi
You were abruptly pulled out of your dream when a pillow made contact with the side of your face. You grunted, your eyes popping open and searching your surroundings. You were in Yoongi's bed, and you were cold. You looked up, Yoongi was standing over without a shirt holding a pillow above his head.
"About time. You were drooling all over the sheets." He grinned slightly before handing you a clean shirt. You didnt quite realize why, until you felt your bare skin against the sheets.
"Oh dont tell me we...." You groaned as you grabbed the shirt and sat up to get it on. The dresser had a glass of water and a pair of bottoms too. The pounding in your head told you you'd been terribly drunk the night before, and the fact that you were naked in Yoongi's bed was enough for you to assume the rest.
"Oh we did. Why? Are you that disappointed?" Yoongi joked. You quickly shook your head, of course you weren't. He was your best friend, you were just hoping it hadn't ruined that friendship. But judging by how Yoongi was acting, it hadn't. "Your voice isn't quite so annoying when its calling out my name." Yoongi grabbed some clean clothes out of the dresser by the bed and started to head for the bathroom.
"Im taking a shower, you can take one here when I'm done." Yoongi disappeared behind the door before you could say anything. You shook your head as you fell back onto the bed and curled up into the sheets. This wouldn't ruin your friendship, but wow was it a story.
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J-Hope
Hoseok sat up, stretched with a smile on his face. He gave a refreshed sigh, then turned to see you curled up besides him. Hoseok screamed and fell off the bed, yanking you out of your dreams and causing you to sit up. "Hobi whats going on?" You asked, groggily. You remembered the night before faintly, and it seemed that he was starting to remember too. You'd been drinking, gone home with him, and the rest was history. That might explain why you were laying in his bed.
"Oh my god you saw me naked!" Hoseok yelled, even though he was standing in front of you still naked since he'd passed out before he could change, and still hadn't changed. You watched him for a second before looking away. "Yeah, and I still am seeing it. Stop jumping around.."
"You already saw my dick last night why are you looking away now!" Hoseok threw his hands up in the air. After a short pause of silence, both of you burst out into laughter.
"Seriously?" You laughed as you reached for your shirt to get on, Hoseok looking for a clean change of clothes as well.
"Im just saying! If anyone asks though, you've never seen your best friend naked. That includes the incident at the pool. I am pure."
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Jimin
Jimin looked over at you, who was finally waking up and trying to understand the situation. Jimin had been up for a while now, piecing the events of last night together. Jin had bought you guys drinks, and then he had to go take the rest of the members to McDonald's because they wanted McDonald's. They'd left you two alone, and after a while things had escalated. Jimin had come to the conclusion that he had slept with you, and he didn't regret it. You two were so close that it hadn't been awkward at all, he'd felt relaxed.
"Good morning." He smiled at you as just sat up.
"I feel like im dying. I cant believe we actually got so drunk that we made out." You whined, rubbing your head. The morning after was definitely not an enjoyable time, espicially not when you had the sore muscles to prove the night before too.
"Guess you can't me a small mochi anymore?" Jimin asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
"Yeah you're right." You said. "I can now call you a tiny mochi."
Jimin smacked you with the pillow as you burst out into laughter, falling back onto the bed. Jimin blushed, smiling as he put the pillow back down and stretched his sore muscles.
"Lets go out and eat something. Im seriously drained after last night."
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Taehyung
Taehyung was so tired the next morning, he didn't budge at all even after your multiple attempts to awaken him. After a while you just gave up, laying besides him and waiting for him to come around on his own time. After a few more moments of Taehyung snoring, his breath hitched as his eyes started to open. He gave a big yawn, groaning at the sudden pang of pain in his head. Taehyung rolled over, seeing you curled up besides him.
"Oh that's why." Taehyung muttered to himself, realizing now why his lower half was bare.
"Morning." You muttered. It went quiet for a while, the two of you breathing in sync.
"You know to be honest, I thought you'd be a whole lot worse at that." Taehyung said bluntly. You laughed, shaking your head as you rolled in the other direction. "Good teamwork!" He called after you too, making you laugh even harder. "You know just how to ruin the mood don't you?" You asked him. Taehyung just grinned.
"This doesnt change us does it?" Taehyung asked. He definitely didn't regret the events that had taken place last night, but he also didnt want to ruin the good friendship you two had going on. You sat up and shook your head. "Well, we were drunk."
Taehyung nodded. He gave a fully body stretch, looking like a cat that had just awoken from a long nap.
"I think I drank way too much. Can we go get some water? Then some pizza? I don't even want to look at what I sent out last night."
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Jungkook
Jungkook woke up that morning, groaning about the pain in his head. He didnt know getting that drunk could cause so much pain. He yawned, then carefully pulled himself up into a sitting position. He felt someone else on the bed, whipping around to see you in the midst of waking up. His eyes went wide, slapping his hands over his chest to realize he was shirtless. He lifted the sheets too, examined down there for a second before slamming the blanket back down around his waist. You rolled over and looked at him, half awake, half asleep.
"Holy shit I just got laid." He said, his eyes wide.
"Yeah, by your own best friend. Can you even be proud?" You joked as you rubbed your eyes.
"Yeah thanks. You know, its an absolute honor. Plus, I don't think you were so against the idea of it being your best friend either last night." Jungkook winked at you.
"What's that supposed to mean?" You asked while propping yourself up on your elbow, arching an eyebrow.
"Oh jungkook!~" Jungkook yelled out, mimicking your voice. Your face went red as you pushed him, laughing. Jungkook fell over and giggled before looking back at you.
"Im pretty sure we're both naked right now. Who's getting out of bed first?" He asked. He'd been okay with it last night of course, since he was so drunk. Thats not to say he regretted it, he'd slept with you by choice. But you were still just best friends and now, being sober, he'd gotten shy again. "Rock paper scissors." You shrugged. Jungkook agreed, but soon regretted it when he lost.
"Im going to make a beeline for the bathroom and if you look at or say anything to me I swear I'm never sharing my kimchi with you again"
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grandschemed · 5 years
Note
a bustling diner that never closes
@warpaved​ / frank & billy.
“so, are these the best pancakes you’ve ever had or what?” billy grins, digging into his fluffy stack like a kid on christmas morning.  after all, what’s better than breakfast for dinner?
“i should get back, maria and the kids — ” frank immediately counters, eyebrows knit in that well-worn worried sort of way billy is so familiar with, but he’s not going to let him go.  at least, not so easily.
“oh, shut up and eat, they’ll live.”  billy hates it when frank gets like this.  “you always do this, man,” he sighs, drenching his dinner in syrup.  “y’know, maria’s actually the one who told me to get you out of the house for a little while.”
“really?”
no, of course not.
“really.”
frank believes it — at least, judging by the way his big shoulders slump or maybe, he just decides billy’s right regardless.  in which case, atta boy.
“i’ve had better pancakes.”
son of a bitch.
well, at least he isn’t talking about maria and the kids anymore.  billy can’t stand it.  maria this, maria that.  ‘maria got this - oh, she got this soft, purple sweater and man, i’m done for, bill, i’m done for’ or … ‘junior says he misses you, wants to know if uncle bill’s gonna come with us on our trip to disney.  says he’s gonna pack you in his suitcase if you don’t, hehe.’  enough.  enough!  no, no, they don’t talk about what maria’s making for dinner tonight or what lisa got on her spelling test.
they talk like it’s the good times.
and sure, they’re ‘out’, but are they really?  when frank can’t sit still at home, fingers itching because he was never made for suburban domesticity?  when billy sleeps with a gun tucked into his top drawer, but hey — at least it’s not waiting under his pillow.
no, him and frankie are the lucky ones, but to be honest … billy misses him.
he misses frank in sweltering heat, 90 degrees and climbing, slick with sweat, wrestling each other for shade.  he misses the sound of dog tags hitting against frank’s chest: all noise muffled except for the sound of bitten off groans and skin slapping against skin and frank is 200 pounds of gorgeous, heavy muscle putting billy in his place ( or supposedly anyway ).  he misses sleeping next to him, huddled together to share body heat because the desert nights get cold and billy swears he’s never slept better in his life while imagining the sound of frank’s heartbeat mingled with his and six others — a happy little unit of eight.
sometimes, oh, sometimes, he wonders what it’d be like if frank never met maria and if he met billy first.  if frank fell in love with his eyes the way he fell in love with maria’s — what would it be like?  would it be like this?  two assholes playing domestic at some shitty diner where the special of the day is mystery meatloaf and mustard-stained napkins for days?  billy imagines they’d have good days and bad days … like a life of sugar cubes dissolving one by one in bitter coffee: a little bitter, a little sweet.  maybe they’d get a dog, no — two dogs?  beans and toast, yeah.  frank and beans, billy and toast.
billy looks outside, resting his chin in his palm, watching the miserably passerby bustling to find shelter from the cold rain and places himself in their shoes with frank at his side.  they could be two morons caught in a thunderstorm, eager to go home and take each other’s clothes off with lazy grins.  they could be two monsters in love walking their rescue dogs in saturday morning sunshine.  they could be … 
he closes his eyes and sighs.  he wishes time could just stop and he could pretend forever.
“… bill?  bill, you okay?”
domesticated frank offers him a domesticated smile.  it’s not his frank.  it never really was.
“of course, frankie,” billy flashes his teeth, a thousand dollar smile, “why wouldn’t i be?”
pushing his finished plate aside, billy glances at the men’s restroom, gripped by impulse.  he looks frank in the eyes: all dark and heavy like it’s 90 degrees in the dead of winter.  like he could eat frank castle, bones, sinew and all and it still wouldn’t be enough.  it will never be enough.  he watches frank read his expression and watches the slow realization spread on his rugged face.
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“actually, tell you what,” billy gets up from the booth, rubbing the corners of his mouth, “i gotta take a leak.”  he smiles a little, airy and untrue, and he knows exactly what he’s doing.  “be back in a second,” he assures and starts to make his way to the bathroom.
back turned to frank, billy pauses for half a moment and counts in his head: one one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand … and he waits for frank to follow.
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motherofkittens94 · 6 years
Text
tagged by @whiteladyofrohann 
Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.
Last;
1. Drink: tea 2. Phone call: My dad  3. Text message: im on the train now -  
4. Song you listened to: arsonists lullaby hozier 
5. Time you cried: like proper cried? not like just a tear or two ? i think a few weeks a go when i thought too much about andrew ...dont judge me * runs away* 
6. Dated someone twice?:  like dated broken up and then dated again? no  or gone on more than one date with the same person? ...also no  ive had a few disastrous  first dates but never made it the second one lol 
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: No 9. Lost someone special: Yes 10. Been depressed: apparently i am now oh well cest la vie  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up:  drunk yes with ive never been sick from alcohol 
Fave colours;
12. pink 13. Blue 14.  purple
In the last year have you…
15. Made new friends: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: with academia  yea  17. Laughed until you cried: Yes,  18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. Met someone who changed you: Yes 20. Found out who your friends are: Yes 21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no 
General;
22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: almost all of them  23. Do you have any pets: i had a kitty who loved dearly but sadly he passed in October 
24. Do you want to change your name: No  25. What did you do for your last birthday: got real drunk in the student pub innit 
26. What time did you wake up today:  honestly ?*deep sigh* noon *horn of shame* and i had to be in work at 1 so i had to throw clothes on and grab a brunch and run for it thank god they didnt put me on morning  27. What were you doing at midnight last night: thinking about going bed but for some reason i didnt even though i wasnt really doing anything else 
28. What is something you cant wait for: im going to dodie live again i love her  30. What are you listening to right now: footloose  31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: oh  i know many many toms 
32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: short people jokes and jokes in general about my disabilities .. which btw my height is a part of.. it just isnt funny... unless i make them hah ...but then thats a  much  different thing to laugh at yourself than to have other people do it  and sometimes its not even a joke its someone blatantly mocking the way you walk / run  in your view than laughing when they see you noticed and just that sucks ? like couldnt you at least wait for me to go first or laugh when you need help to reach things off shelves and stuff  and the fact that sometimes you gotta make those jokes yourself just so no one else can soz tmi but god that hacks me off 
33. Most visited website: Youtube? 34. Hair colour: Blonde 35. Long or short hair: my hair? short  its just below my jaw atm  36. Do you have a crush on someone: only actors 
37. What do you like about yourself:  determination kindness  and i have a good memory 
38. Want any piercings?: No 39. Blood type:  idk it  40. Nicknames: beth  bethie  41. Relationship status: Single 42. Zodiac: Sagittarius  43. Pronouns: She/her 44. Fave tv shows: Game of Thrones, braodchurch penny dreadful doctor who and im enjoying the punisher atm also i have an on / off relationship with holby city and casualty and all those hospital dramas tbh 
45. Tattoos: None ...yet... 46. Right or left handed: Right 47. Ever had surgery: yes three on the leg once when i hurt my skull pretty bad  i also broke my arm but  that probably doesnt count cause i dont think i had surgery on it ? i cant quite remember it had three different casts tho  48. Piercings: just standard ears  49. Sport: no thanks lol my bug sis is trying to get into running he like ill make you feel better we can do fun runs together  im like .. nope ... i think find fun run is an oxymoron sis 
50. Vacation: i want to go to Australia or America but will probaly end up just in Devon again  
51. Trainers: standard ones idk 
More general;
52. Eating: pancakes 
53. Drinking: tea  54. I’m about to watch: nothing atm 
55. Waiting for:   right now ? nothing really bed i guess? 56. Want: to go shopping 
57. Get married: id like to  someday 
58. Career: i have even less idea about that  now then i used to idk a writer i could do that maybe 
Which is better;
59. Hugs or kisses: hugs 
60. Lips or eye: Eyes 61. Shorter or taller:  Taller nobody is shorter than me -
62. Older or younger:  than me? hmm maybe older but not too much older or the same age would be better 
63. Nice arms or stomach: arms  64. Hookup or relationship: Relationship 65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker
Have you ever;
66. Kissed a stranger: no
67. Drank hard liquor: yes  68. Lost glasses: yes
69. Turned someone down: Yes 70. Sex on first date: No 71. Broken someones heart: i dont think so  im 90 % sure people i turned down did it for jokes i mean  know for sure one was a joke the others probably were too assholes 72. Had your heart broken: Yes 73. Been arrested: No 74. Cried when someone died: Yes 75. Fallen for a friend: yes 
Do you believe in;
76. Yourself: im trying to
77. Miracles: yes 
78. Love at first sight: depends
79. Santa claus:  i used to haha  80. Kiss on a first date: i havent so far but my dates up to now have all been sucky so if i had a really nice one  maybe
81. Angels: yes 
Other;
82. Best friend’s name: V 83. Eye colour: green 84. Fave movie: the aristocats 27 dresses 10 things i hate about you   85. Fave actor: alfie allen iwan rheon david tennant 
tagging @randomlut @gennalannisters @themanwithakeyisking @maddie-grove  @s0mewhereweaknessis0urstrength @anotherrandompersonsblog 
if you want to :) 
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stonermurphy · 7 years
Note
for the send a pairing, could you do Veronica and Heather C?
asghjahsgjahjsjhg okay just for the record i dont rly ship them together but i can absolutely see them dating in a heather c lives au and theyre terrible together its great
proposes - neither they dont get married,,, they stay GFs forever and refuse to admit theyre actually that serious about each other
shops for groceries - heather drinks diet shakes and eats protien bars and veronica only knows how to make mac and cheese and they both fight over whos going to go buy those three things every week until finally they just go together
kills the spiders - veronica but only becus heather refuses to ruin her shoes
comes home drunk at 3am - BOTH they go party together all night then come home drunk and make out 
remembers to feed the fish - their fish died weeks ago and neither has noticed 
initiates duets - veronica does and then heather always one ups her until she gives up and just listens to heather sing (she wont admit thats all she wanted in the first place) 
falls asleep first - veronica “12 hour depression nap” sawyer again 
plans spontaneous trips - heather,, shes not a homebody at all, she needs to get out and see the world and god damn if her girl isn’t coming with her 
wakes the other up at 3am demanding pancakes - veronica but she gets hit in the face with a pillow instead of ever receiving pancakes 
sends the other unsolicited nudes - heather,,, veronica is constantly getting both nudes and regular selfies from her and is asked to judge them,, if she doesnt lay the compliments on thick enough she sleeps on the couch that night 
brags about knowing karate even though they never made it past yellow belt -  again its veronica she pretends to be a tough gorl but heather could genuinely kick your ass with both words and fists 
comes to a complete halt outside bakeries/candy shops - veronica and she always convinces heather to buy her whatever she wants and then eats it all herself in like 3 bites
blows sarcastic kisses after doing ridiculous shit - they both do their sarcasm together is through the fucking roof 
killed the guy (also, which hid the body) - AGAIN YOU KNOW
wears the least clothing around the house - Heather partly becus shes gay and wants her gf to comliment her and also becus shes a bitch and kinda does it as like a powerplay asdasdadsa like ‘im superior becus i know how hot i am’ 
has icky sentimental moments for no apparent reason - NEITHER if one tries to make it sappy the other will call them a nerd 
Send Me A Ship!
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axou-den-mporw · 7 years
Text
get to know me tag
RULES: ANSWER THESE 88 QUESTIONS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE (mini rant: why do these thing always request 20 people to tag. i dont even know ten people pls let me breathe) **I keep the rant cause seriously I don't even know 20 people irl not in the tumblr world**
tagged by @in-theory (and im really sorry for being so late, like a month has passed but well okay im doing this lol)
tagging : @vxplln @anastassiamlt @teh-panda @itsthewonderfulworldofsu @inkyblacksky
THE LAST:
1. DRINK: water probably it's summer lol
2. PHONE CALL: my dad
3. TEXT MESSAGE: κλαιω ήθελα να πω (greek)
4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: My Neighbor Totoro ending song
5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: I don't even remember. I think last weekend watching the Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)
HAVE YOU:
6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: not even once
7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: nah
8. BEEN CHEATED ON: everything here is going to be a no, ( I keep this answer by @in-theory cause seriously gurl I feel the same)
9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: idk what you mean by that. So im gonna answer yeah
10. BEEN DEPRESSED: hell yeah what I was doing the whole winter? 
11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im not sure abt getting drunk but I haven't thrown up from alcohol. Alcohol is my friend
TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS
12. That's tough
13. seriously though
14. I can't even tell them apart at times, but I like the colors of sunset
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: AHA AND IM HAPPY ABT THAT
16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: nah prob. I haven't fallen in, how can I fall out?
17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: seriously I don't remember. I remember this time. I couldn't breathe from laughing too hard. I had just discovered a new laugh which was like HIHIHIHIIHIIIHIHHIHHIHHHHIIIIIIIIIHIHIHIIHI and I didn't even remember what I was laughing at cause everyone (included me) just laughed with my new laugh lol. But idk if it was this year. Maybe some other time that i don’t remember now cause well i have the memory of a fish
18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: what
19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: maybe???idk
20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: im still through that tbh
21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: what is even a fb list?
GENERAL
22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: welllllllllll it depends on what you mean know irl
23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: I wanna get a doggo but I only had fishes till now and they all dead now so yeah prob gonna delay getting the doggo till I get a house that would be comfy for him
24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: tbh I didn't really like that as a kid. And I would like to change it if I become an artist of any form of art
25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: my sis got me presents and we went to a nice café-bar, and some other time we got some pizzas with ma friends
26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: eight o’ clock 
27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching the Russian boy who looked like a real-life anime dancing folklore and I tell you he was fineee
28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: life
29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: before 3 hrs or something
30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: my character. And my hobbies. Like sometimes I really wish I had been in some athletic team or dance team, be a little more sociable a lil stronger. ANyway
31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: Put My Hands On You by Dean ft. Anderson Paak (please do babe, i want that too)
32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: Nah
33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: people, me included
LOST QUESTIONS
34. MOLE(S): everywhere but I think the ones that come more to my mind is a huge one that is above of my left ear and thankful my hair cover it, then one in my right wrist and one left of my nose
35. MARK(S): stretch marks everywhere
36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: ha I prob changed them every week, but I think that actress was the final one cause I found out as a kid that in this way I could be everything I wanted and change profession with every different movie/series I got myself into
37. HAIR COLOR: brown 
38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: now short
39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: *laughs* what’s a crush **(sorry babe gonna keep that as well cause yeah same)**
40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: i’m confident at my dreams and goals
41. PIERCINGS: nah 
42. BLOODTYPE: A I think 
43. NICKNAME(S): squidie, agg, ang, bro
44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: IM SINGLE af 
45. ZODIAC: cancer but who cares
46. PRONOUNS: she/her
47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: Friends (American), It’s okay that’s love (Korean) (UGGHHHH THIS IS HARD OMG REPLY 1988 TOO OKAY?) and Είσαι το ταίρι μου (Greek)
48. TATTOOS: nah, how could i decide where to put it and what to write/draw, nahhh
49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right
50. SURGERY: not yet
51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: no
52. SPORT: does eating count?
53. VACATION: Nisiros-10 and Skopelos D-24
54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: got me some converse and a pair of vans but converse is next level I tell ya 
MORE GENERAL
55. EATING: haven’t eaten since i woke up probably won’t eat until noon
56. DRINKING: more water lol
57. I’M ABOUT TO: Watch a movie prob or go for a walk
58. WAITING FOR: Awesome summer to start even on August
59. WANT: to travel back in time and become friends with Bogey and Bacall 
60. GET MARRIED: who knows what life has for me? im too young to know
61. CAREER: nobody knows, maybe i will become a millionaire,maybe i will become another jobless person, maybe i will sell tomatoes and pancakes and cookies in flea market
 62. HUGS OR KISSES: Both actually
63. LIPS OR EYES: heart, sorry i never (after middle school, cause we don’t speak of the time before shhhh) really cared abt specific characteristics on people. I mean, he could have the most beautiful eyes/lips i have set my eyes on and i could be not attracted by him. Idk im weird
64. SHORTER OR TALLER: taller cause well im 1,64 m, and idk i just need his height to tell me HUG ME IM A HUGSIE PERSON (I know im weird, that’s why i have few friends)
65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: now older. but idk generally i don’t think i would have a problem with younger people
66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: i’m a hoe for arms oh dear God mercy
67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: loud people because i am quiet and reserved so yeah this is abt what person i am or which kind of people i like? well it doesn’t matter cause well idk abt sensitive, but im not and neither im attracted to loud people
68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship
69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: im 10000% hesitant and i would like a troublemaker to have a lil fun sometime
HAVE YOUR EVER:
70. KISSED A STRANGER: no
71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: no
72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: like 8737918731432867 times
73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: well. . . maybe?im not sure abt that
74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: no
75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: no
76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: does elementary school count?
77. BEEN ARRESTED: no
78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes
79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: i don’t think i have male friends (like real friends, to talk at least once a month and really care abt each other) and i never actually had
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
80. YOURSELF: im a magic fairy, who doesn’t believe in them? my specialty is to make everyone sad lol
81. MIRACLES: yes
82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: okay im still not over that ice cream, why do you keep reminding me of that *sobs* it was my first love *tears fall* when we set our eyes on each other *mess* *somebody sto0p me please*
83. SANTA CLAUS: well i believe in Santa Claus in the way i believe in all other Santas
84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: is this something to believe in?
85. ANGELS: yes
86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): anastassia, maryam, i think that’s it
OTHER
87. EYECOLOR: dark brown
88. FAVORITE MOVIE: Mamma Mia (2008) (judge all you want but it never fails on making me happy), Philadelphia Story (1940) (come on this movie is just amazing i love it). Im not sure abt favorite, but i really liked It’s a Wonderful Life (1946), cause it made me rethink my priorities in life and it certainly demands a re-watch. In abt a month i think many many more will be added to this list hopefully
OMG I DID IT YEY
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paradox-oflife · 4 years
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tagged by @lememecollector
Get to know me uncomfortably well tag: long post warning
1. What is your middle name? It’s Chinese lmao but if you can read it -> 語寧
2. When is your birthday? December 5th
3. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius :3
4. What is your favorite color? Red
5. What’s your lucky number? 12 or 7. These numbers just seem to pop up in my life a lot.
6. Do you have any pets? A very old, old golden retriever. I mean, he’s still healthy, he’s just reaaaal old.
7. Where are you from? Born in Northern California, lived in New Zealand for a chunk of my childhood, but I moved back in like elementary school
8. How tall are you?  153 cm, 5′0 feet tall that's right im a midget square up
9. What shoe size are you? 8.5 or maybe 9 depending on shoe brand
10. How many pairs of shoes do you own? like 4. sneakers, flip flops, semi-formal, and formal shoes
11. What was your last dream about? I have the most vivid and bizarre dreams. Last night, I had a dream about me eating at a restaurant with me friends. And I looked up to the night sky and I could see like, the universe in all its colors and glory. It was beautiful. Also there was something about cocaine??
12. What talents do you have? uuuuh I can play a couple of instruments. piano/cello/ukulele/bass
13. Are you psychic in anyway? define psychic. otherwise not really.
14. Favorite song? Read My Mind by the Killers. Or All These Things That I’ve Done by the Killers.
15. Favorite album? It’s so hard to choose. Top 3 in no particular order: Continuum by John Mayer, Sawdust by the Killers, Bury Me at Makeout Creek by Mitski
16. Favorite movie? Spirited Away. Or maybe Kiki’s Delivery Service. Or Akira.
17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who just vibes with me yknow. I can just talk for hours with them.
18. Do you want children? Mm. Not in the near future I guess. If I do, I’d have 2. Because it’s always great to have a sibling.
19. Do you want a church wedding? Yeah. But I don’t like having a really big wedding. I like being low-key.
20. Are you religious? Yeah. I was born and raised Christian. Non denominational, but I guess the closest would be Oneness Pentecostalism? Anyways religion is one of the few things I actually take pretty seriously.
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? One time, and it was for stitches. Dumb story.
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? No, I will literally get an anxiety attack if I hear police sirens when I'm in the car. I pray that I don't.
23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Nah. Would be cool but idk how i’d react.
24. Baths or showers? Showers, but if I’m feeling it, a bath would never hurt.
25. What color socks are you wearing? Not wearing socks rn B). (also why do Americans not go barefoot more often lol. Its considered normal in NZ)
26. Have you ever been famous? No. I guess it’d be cool to be semi-famous. Like those small youtubers with a thousand subscribers. But I could never handle the pressure.
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Noooo hell no
28. What type of music do you like? Alternative/indie rock
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? LMAO no, and never will. It looks so uncomfortable when you get out. Like... what if there’s bacteria in the water or something.
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two to three
31. What position do you usually sleep in? Honestly I have a hard time falling asleep so im always too tired to really remember
32. How big is your house? My parents house. Pretty decent sized. Average two story American house. Well, im only here until the pandemic is over bc college lol
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cereal or bread.
34. Have you ever fired a gun? The only gun I've ever fired was a nerf gun
35. Have you ever tried archery? No. Never really had a chance.
36. Favorite clean word? Mm... I use chur a lot irl. Then I found out its nz slang and no one actually knows what it means in the states lmao.
37. Favorite curse word? Ah... I don't actually swear that much. Maybe like shit? idk
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? like 18 hours. sorry but I am one hell of a sleeper
39. Do you have any scars? one. very small, hardly noticeable on my cheek.
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Well it wouldn’t really be secret if I knew about it right?? lol. I’ve had three. Two were boys in elementary school, and one was a girl in 10th grade. It was awkward bc im straight but. yeah.
41. Are you a good liar? Im a pretty down to earth person. So I don't lie a lot. But id say im alright.
42. Are you a good judge of character? For the most part, yeah.
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? I can do the southern USA accent, like the cowboy movies lol. The surfer accent, “duuuude”, like the turtle from Nemo. Im pretty bad at the Scottish accent. I can do a received pronunciation British accent, which is the standard accent you hear on tv. I can do Australian pretty well. And of course, my original accent, the kiwi accent. The standard one and the Maori one.
44. Do you have a strong accent? Eh. Not really. Sounds pretty American if I’m speaking slowly. But when I’m relaxed or talking fast, people tell me I sound kind of British. So I guess I have some weird combo of nz/american
45. What is your favorite accent? Australian is my favorite in general. But I love listening to thick Scottish accents. They’re so funny idk why
46. What is your personality type? INFP-T
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? A dress for wedding
48. Can you curl your tongue? Yup.
49. Favorite book? Aw man there’s so many. Fahrenheit 451 is always fun to reread
50. Left or right handed? Right handed
51. Are you scared of spiders? um YES
52. Favorite food? my dad’s fried rice hits the spot like no other. I also like green onion pancakes
53. Favorite foreign food? The three colored egg thing idk what its called in English?
54. Are you a clean or messy person? Probably more on the messy side, but I try!
55. Most used phrased? thick kiwi accent: “Oh, chur bro!” or “chur cuzzy!”
56. Most used word? Honestly it’s probably something like dude or bro
57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Maybe 20-30 min on an average day
58. Do you have much of an ego? I try not to, id like to say im pretty humble when it comes to things. maybe too much.
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck, but when im bored I CRONCH
60. Do you talk to yourself? Sometimes, usually if its im trying to remind myself of something
61. Do you sing to yourself? In the car usually, but its soft humming most of the time.
62. Are you a good singer? I mean, the most I can do is be on pitch. Nothing ordinary. I whistle like 24/7 in public tho
63. Biggest fear? Externally, probably needles. Internally? My friends are only pretending to like me
64. Are you a gossip? I don’t spread gossip but I listen to it sometimes. Actually, when it comes to the whole beauty community on youtube, I listen to a lot of it.
66. Can you dance? NOPE
67. Can you name all 50 states? Yup
68. Favorite school subject? For me it was orchestra and literature
69. Extrovert or introvert? according to the Myers briggs test im 78% introverted
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No and it makes me nervous
71. What makes you nervous? Everything. Anxiety :)
72. Are you scared of the dark? Nah. I live in a suburban area so nothing really happens, but if I’m out in a major city no thanks
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Depends how big. If it’s like a typo or something, I don't really care. If it’s something major then I’ll try to correct them
74. Are you ticklish? I used to be. But if you taser tickle me I will scream, or if you squeeze my thigh.
75. Have you ever started a rumor? No
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Eh ive been the leader of a club before. That’s it.
77. Have you ever drank underage? No!! Dont drink too much when you’re a minor it hurts ur brain :(
78. Have you ever done drugs? No
79. Who was your first real crush? lmao I had one in like 3rd grade but that was a long time ago.
80. How many piercings do you have? I got ear piercings when I was like 8 but I didn't do anything with them and the hole closed lol
81. Can you roll your R’s? Yes
82. How fast can you type? Accurately? around 88 bpm. As fast as I can? more like 120.
83. How fast can you run? I was always more of a explosive runner. But I pretty much sucked at long distance runs. I think my best mile time was like 8:38??
84. What color is your hair? I believe its black/dark brown. can't be sure. im colorblind
85. What color are your eyes? Dark brown.
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Text
so today at work i ordered the basic breakfast after my shift
-2 eggs
-2 strips of bacon
-biscuit
-breakfast potatoes
-1 pancake
ive been having a really hard time eating the past couple of weeks (because my depression has been getting worse) and recently started eating about 2 meals a day but i force myself to eat at least 1 full meal everyday, sometimes its hard af because i have literally no appetite and putting food in my mouth just feels like im trying to stuff napkins down my throat
ANYWAYS 
im at work (clocked out) 
this fucking food runner sees me bussing my plate from breakfast and is like WOW THAT WAS A LOT OF FOOD DID YOU EAT ALL OF THAT?!?!?!?!
and then i had to awkwardly defend how much food i ate also i didnt eat the potatoes or the biscuit
i brought the biscuit home but i honesty dont think i can bring myself to eat it
this is the first time ive eaten at work
usually i put it in a box and eat it when i get home 
today i decided to stay so i could eat with one of my coworkers but i dont know if i can eat at work ever again
it just feels like such a fucking slap in the face
like i had overcome like 14 layers of anxiety just to fucking sit at the god damn bar and eat breakfast 
its so hard for me to eat in front of other peoples and i always tell myself that no one is looking at me but i guess people are looking and judging so thats cool
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viralhottopics · 7 years
Text
The 10-a-day diet tested: ‘I feel like a sentient composter’
New research suggests that we ought to be eating 10 portions of fruit and veg a day. Stuart Heritage plies himself with the good stuff, and Guardian cook Felicity Cloake judges his efforts
Like everyone else in the world, my blood ran cold when I heard that we are now expected to eat 10 portions of fruit and vegetables every day. That is double the previous recommended amount, and even that required too much effort for my liking. Oh, sure, the effects of 10 a day sound miraculous researchers claim that it would decrease our chance of heart disease by 24%, stroke by 33% and cancer by 13% but it sounds a bit much, doesnt it?
Perhaps not. We wanted to investigate how much fruit and vegetables you need to eat to gain the maximum protection against disease, and premature death. Our results suggest that although five portions of fruit and vegetables is good, 10 a day is even better, said Imperial Colleges Dr Dagfinn Aune, lead author of the research.
What does it mean exactly? Its 10 servings of 80g portions so three tablespoons of peas, or one pear, say, is a single portion. So, is it do-able?
A YouGov poll from 2012 reported that only one in five of us manage to hit five portions a day, let alone 10. Brave pioneer that I am, I decided to find out over the course of a long weekend, before Guardian cook Felicity Cloake judged my efforts and offered some suggestions of how better to hit my goal.
Friday Breakfast
My breakfast usually consists of horrifyingly sugary cereal, to provide me with the artificial jolt of energy required to see me through the morning. Today, however, I eat a grapefruit, a banana and an apple. Better yet, a whole grapefruit counts as two portions. Still, its 7.30am, and Ive already almost hit half of my daily quota. In your face, science. Im going to live for ever.
Except Im not, obviously, because as Harley Street dietitian and sports nutritionist Raquel Britzke points out, favouring fruit over vegetables has problems of its own. Both give you carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, and fibre, she says. But fruits tend to have more carbs, and consequently more sugar, than vegetables. If you have a slow metabolism or are trying to lose weight, I recommend eating seven portions of veggies and three portions of fruit. Great.
A happy start to the experiment. Photograph: Stuart Heritage
Lunch
G2 sends a photographer to my house, to show the world what I look like when Im near some vegetables. Inadvertently, my lunch becomes all the things that the photographer tells me to put into my mouth. This ends up being an apple, a banana and two different carrots.
Dinner
On a normal day, my meal of chicken and potatoes would have been entirely vegetable-free but, knowing that I now have a target to hit, I pile up a mound of cherry tomatoes on the side and work through those as well. Its not quite the advice I was given by another nutritionist, Laura Thomas, who suggested that all meals should consist of at least 50% vegetables, but its a start. A bowl of watermelon for pudding and Ive easily hit my 10.
Total intake: 10 portions.
Felicitys verdict
Stuart has immediately discovered the easy part of fruit and veg consumption: the fruit bit. Australians are told fruit should make up just two of their recommended seven portions a day because of its effect on blood sugar and he has got through 60g of sugar for breakfast alone. Although our own government seems to take the view that any fresh produce is better than the traditional British diet of Jammie Dodgers, it might be wise to swap some of this fruit for avocado on toast or a mushroom omelette occasionally, and save the sweet stuff for pudding later in the day.
Saturday Breakfast
Now that I have a toddler who can shout the word pancakes in a vaguely threatening manner, Saturday breakfast is always a rigidly enforced stack of banana pancakes. The good news: one stack has a whole banana in it. The bad news: it also has eggs and flour in it, which fill me up much more than just a banana would. However, I still manage to heroically force down an apple and two satsumas as well. Four portions, done and dusted by 8am. I am the best.
Saturday breakfast: banana pancakes and fruit. Photograph: Stuart Heritage
Except, wait. After checking the NHS website, I realise that a satsuma only counts as half a portion, which knocks me back down to three. Undaunted, I eat two more satsumas to boost me back up, which means that Ive now eaten four satsumas in a row for breakfast. This is no way for a man to live.
Snack
I put my son down for a morning nap and, because of this stupid challenge, think: What a perfect opportunity to eat an entire raw carrot. It has been years since I last ate an entire raw carrot, and now I see why. Raw carrots are rubbish all chew and no reward. The carrot takes a thousand years to eat. It takes so long that my son wakes up before I finish, and I have to put the rest of it in my pocket for later. All this work, trying to sneak in a vegetable whenever I have a moment of downtime, is starting to make me feel less like a person and more like a sentient composter.
Lunch
A bowl of chicken-and-vegetable soup (which counts as a portion, according to the label), and two portions of grapes. Two portions of grapes is 28 grapes, which I count out one by one like some sort of shivering Victorian waif. What have I become?
Later, while running errands, the wind begins. There is a good three-minute stretch where a brand-new fart pops out of my trousers with every step I take. This is new. So much for science; I worry that if everyone eats 10 portions of fruit and veg a day, well all end up dead from methane inhalation.
Dinner
Meatballs and pasta and tomato sauce (homemade, so it counts) and another big bowl of watermelon. Ive hit my 10 portions again, and I only had to accidentally fumigate one shop to do it.
Total intake: 10 portions.
Felicitys verdict
Banana pancakes are a painless way to get fruit into children; top with berries to add an extra portion, and ring the changes with cheesy courgette or crispy carrot fritters occasionally. Equally, at this time of year, when salads feel a bit punishing, soup is a lifesaver: minestrone will happily absorb any old odds and ends you have in the fridge. You can also add finely chopped veg to meatballs and burgers (grated carrot or finely chopped spinach are good candidates) and, of course, if Stuart ever finishes that sugary watermelon, he could always knock up a chocolate beetroot or parsnip-and-orange cake as an after-dinner treat.
A bountiful breakfast. Photograph: Stuart Heritage
Sunday Breakfast
The plan was to have a nice, big, healthy breakfast and then head out as a family to a fancy event in London. However, a combination of train cancellations, a sick wife and barely any sleep means that breakfast now consists of a chocolate chip cookie that I made with my son yesterday. The cookie has a glac cherry on it. Glac cherries apparently do not count towards your 10 a day. This feels like an oversight on the part of the NHS.
Lunch
Post-event, with my wife home unwell, my son and I find ourselves in the nightmarish epicentre of tourist hellscape London. Thomass advice for eating out is this: Ordering vegetable sides is a good option, but you could also think about replacing one of your protein foods with beans they can count as one portion per day. Trying to get more vegetarian meals in, too, will make it much easier, and this is consistent with the advice to cut back on red and processed meat.
However, this is an emergency; I just want to survive today. Lunch ends up being something that can be eaten quickly at the nearest possible kid-friendly place: a burger and chips from Giraffe. (Chips dont count as a portion, by the way. I checked.) I could have ordered vegetables but, after yesterdays carrot debacle, I realise that I would still be there chewing on it now if I had. Knowing what a failure today has become, and remembering that Thomas said they count, I order a smoothie. At least thats something.
On the train home, I distract my son and, when he isnt looking, eat some of the snacks I bought for him. I manage six grapes and a third of a satsuma, which is about two-thirds of a portion in total. Still counts, though.
Basically watermelon is terrible for you. Photograph: Stuart Heritage
Dinner
Poor marital communication means that we end up eating chips again in the evening. On the plus side, we also have baked beans. Half a can of baked beans equals one portion of vegetables, and for one beautiful moment I toy with the idea of getting back on track by gorging myself on a multipack. However, the NHS guidance points out that anything over half a can still only counts as one portion, because they dont give the same mixture of vitamins, minerals and other nutrients as fruit and vegetables. This, it dawns on me, also applies to my doubled-up portions of grapefuit, apple and banana on Friday. I check the NHSs five a day website and it explains that to get the maximum benefits, you need to eat different types of fruit and vegetables. Stupid NHS. This isnt why I pay my taxes.
More watermelon for pudding, but this doesnt really make up for anything, especially since Britzke has decided to single out watermelon as one of the worst fruits to eat, thanks to its high glycemic index. Nutritionally, today has been a disaster.
Total intake: 3.66 portions.
Felicitys verdict
The problem with fruit and vegetables is that they tend to take more preparation than merely opening a packet (or, in Stuarts case, the biscuit tin), so its a good idea to keep carrot sticks or broccoli florets handy for those moments when you dont have time to faff about with cooking, ideally with a pot of something delicious to dip them into so you dont lose the will to live and reach for the crisps instead. In fact, like many healthy eating regimes, fitting more fruit and veg into your diet is much easier with a bit of forward planning. Stock up on frozen veg, tins of beans and pulses, and jars of fruit to add to meals when the salad drawer is bare. Also remember that although the potato is cruelly classed, by the powers that be, as a starchy food rather than a vegetable by the powers that be, the sweet potato is not and it makes seriously delicious chips. Just saying, Stuart.
MONDAY Breakfast
Yesterday broke me. Carting a kid about for a day is stressful enough as it is, and fretting about hitting a seemingly arbitrary vegetable target just added another level of anxiety to proceedings. So, today, screw it. Im just going to eat like normal. And, hey, if it kills me, it kills me. Breakfast is a leftover grapefruit. Happy now?
This only soups up the tally by one. Photograph: Stuart Heritage
Snack
An apple. If were being honest, its an apple and two Cadbury Creme Eggs. But were only counting the fruit and vegetables I eat, not any of my other disgusting dietary habits. Still, thats two portions so far.
Lunch
More chicken-and-vegetable soup. That makes three portions of fruit and veg. If these were the bad old days, back when we were all gormless knuckle-draggers who only thought we needed to eat five portions a day to be healthy, Id have been laughing. God, I miss the bad old days.
Dinner
I make shepherds pie. It contains two tins of tomatoes, two onions, two carrots, a leek that I had lying around and some frozen peas. If Ive done my maths right, divided by five, I think this works out at three portions a person. Add in the requisite bowl of watermelon at the end and thats four portions.
Total intake: seven portions.
Felicitys verdict
In just four days, Stuarts achieved fruit and veg enlightenment: the secret to eating more is to incorporate them into your ordinary diet, rather than hoping youll magically turn into the kind of person who enjoys snacking on raw kale. Adding extra portions to stews, curries, ragus and the like makes it feel a lot less like eating rabbit food than munching on a raw carrot next time he could try mixing some celeriac into the mash on top of his shepherds pie, too. And dont worry if some days are better than others: if beans on toast and an apple are the best you can manage, its still better than nothing. Even if you do have a Creme Egg on the side.
Total four-day intake: 30.66/40 portions
(If you let me have the doubled-up fruit and veg, which you shouldnt, but hey.)
Without really trying, Ive come tantalisingly close to the target. It hasnt made me too farty. It hasnt caused me any stress. So perhaps this is the secret here: you should just eat as many portions of fruit and vegetables as you can without letting it take over your life. If it goes belly-up for a day which it will, because there is more to life than endlessly chewing on foliage then thats not a big deal. After all, whats the point of living longer if its just going to make you uptight, unhappy and flatulent? Quit whining, science. Im doing fine.
Read more: http://bit.ly/2mclNYo
from The 10-a-day diet tested: ‘I feel like a sentient composter’
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