#if u fuckin want smth done u do it urself

[arrtemisia]

"Hmm Labrys' codename should be Labrys!" Lord what a mood I've done that before dygihosyk Knight works with the protector theme but hmm if you're up for suggestions maybe... Bear? They're pretty protective uhh Shield? Bird maybe? Pfft maybe Futaba jokingly calls her 'Eagle 1' or something cjgioudhg anyway if ya bored or feel like it also your Labrys/Sumi post and just 👀👀👀 thoughts??

Hi again sorry this took so long to answer! I didn't get the notif and I'm not used to my inbox actually having things in it so I keep forgetting to check lol

I'll settle on a codename for labrys eventually, one day it's gonna click! I've given up on actually writing the au my pt labby is from bc every time I try something drastically changes about it and I end up needing to scrap everything. I think at one point or another I had like 30-40k words down in a suuuper rough first draft before I ended up needing to trash it all? I still have some pieces of it in my docs but that was a really really early version so not much can be salvaged. Every other attempt has been nowhere near that much, usually ending at about 3k words in. It's just been stewing in my head and not on paper for like three or four years now, so there's no rush on settling the details.

As for sumibrys. Deep inhale.

They'd be so good. They'd be so, so good and it's the biggest brained thing I've ever come up with (at least I'm like 99.9% sure I came up with it, I went looking for content and there was absolutely nothing, not a single tiny scrap) and I have achieved ultimate enlightenment.

Prince (@/princekirijo) and I were talking abt this a couple days ago but to paraphrase:

Their personalities are so so compatible, they're similar enough people and have so many shared experiences between them that there'd be a pretty instant understanding, and yet their outlooks on life are different enough to constrast each other and push the other to be better. They're just both really warm, gentle, supportive people, but in slightly different ways. Not to mention the HEAPINGS of nearly identical trauma. The moment they met they'd be BEST friends.

And from then on like? They just feel like they'd have the sort of friendship where it turning romantic would feel like the most natural thing in the world bc nothing would really change. Kinda like the way a lot of ppl talk about akiryu. They're just the sort of people to be constantly soft and supportive of the other, in awe of every little mundane thing the other does (such as labrys being amazed by sumire's grace plus sumi doing mundane human things and sumire being rendered unable to speak by watching labrys swing around a giant rocket axe like it weighs nothing), constantly watching out for each other's struggles, wanting better for the other. It'd just be so pure, and so sweet, and god it's a blessed concept and I want ppl to jump on it SO BAD-

Ahem. Anyways, I will force this rarepair into the fandom with my bare hands if I have to and I will accept any help I can get in converting others to the church of sumibrys (and also labrys in general labby deserves so much more attention from the fandom). Sumire deserves a robot gf, as does labrys a cinnamon roll thief gf. They can both have it, as a treat

#sumibrys #sumire yoshizawa #labrys #faith #if I can get like 5-10 converts I'm making a sumibrys discord server #soon as I get get over my brain bullying me I'm writing some fic #if u fuckin want smth done u do it urself #but yes they'd just be so precious to each other #and they'd also have a rlly nice aesthetic together #and they'd get along so well #and they have so much shared history #p5 #p5r #p4au #mod answers stuff

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉  skz with pregnant!reader 

bangchan x reader | first part of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff & a tinge of angst

↬ warnings; pregnancy, birth, talk of vomiting, and lots of cursin

↬ notes; fuck i love bangchan sm and im excited dis the first part of daddy!skz o whateva

from the moment he knew, he honestly was scared at first and just wanted to pretend like he wasn’t going to be a father

he needed time to evaluate it all, he was honestly confused and scared, he was nervous and doubtful of his parenting skills and providing eighteen years + many years after for his child

u were nervousssss as helllllllllllllll to tell him what was up

“well, i’m- y’know- baby?” you tried to get out, ur words were hella scrambled and he was confused before he came to the realization of what you meant 

silence which is vv concerning 

u knew this was a shot in the dark sorta, u two weren’t even public on the relationship let alone public about a pregnancy?

u guys ended up taking a break for about a month, really not knowing what to say to each-other

u two were afraid, which was normal, u just rly didn’t expect it from chan of all people to walk away from u

anybody else u could expect,, but this?? this was unlike him & u were more scared by that

he wound up at your place, box in hands

(u were kinda at ur breaking point bc u thought he was returning ur things)

(newsflash it was his stuff)

“i’m sorry, i just— being a father? being a parent, i don’t.. i don’t know anything about it, but nobody does when they become one. so, i’m gonna figure it out with you.”

going through the first sonograms w him & crying a lot while u two talked about the future

ur hormones r going to be the death of chan

u are 0-100 holy mooolyy

hes very careful with his choice of words and how he delivers them, not wanting to upset you

chans first present for the baby is a kangaroo, with a matching little joey 🥺

he also is surprisingly a very big fan of kanga from winnie the pooh, which he buys winnie the pooh stuff for the baby JSJSJSJSJJS just bc kanga & roo remind him of u n the baby 🥺🥺🥺🥺 (i rly need to stop)

u were a lil big, having a cute big bump to pair with ur pregnancy, the inevitable announcement was needed to happen if u were ever going to step outside again

chan rly didnt want to announce it bc he didnt know what peoples reactions would be :(

he knew he was only twenty-seven so some people might think it was a bit too early to have kids, but he thought it was perfect the way it was

u guys hid it until u couldn’t, sparking little rumors of ur pregnancy but u both decided not to confirm them

chan obsessing and literally worshipping you in your third trimester

u in his shirts? he was fuckin over

kisses and cuddling all the time, no matter how tired u were or he was, u two would either fall asleep while doing so or lay there for awhile before u were like

“ok i gotta pee, help me up!!”

no but frfr this baby was torturing u the last stretch of ur pregnancy

it seemed that anything u ate either made u throw up or gave u heartburn

ur stretchmarks were getting worse & it seemed like u were getting bigger everyday

u were very insecure the last months, just cause a lot of comments were talking about a bit of weight gain in ur face, which fuck,, u would never be hurt by some comments but with ur hormones and KNOWING u have put on weight, u rly didn’t feel the same

ofc chan knows whats up and hes there to tell u some r e a l s h i t

“okay, yes. you have put on weight, but you’re pregnant. that’s the good thing about it, you’re healthy okay? whether you had a small bump and no extra weight put on or a big bump and extra weight put on, you are carrying a baby. you can lose the weight when it’s over, right? you don’t need to feel this way, okay? i’m the only one who you should listen to about your appearance, i’m here to tell you the truth. you are beautiful. you are the morher of my child, that’s what you are. you’re not ugly, or fat, you’re not anything bullshit that people say to you.”

when u started crying, chan panicked

“nononononoono, don’t cry baby!”

his arms were wrapped around you so tightly, feeling your face pressed against his shoulder and your arms around his neck

“i love you.” u would be rly quiet and his heart would break at the sound but ur i love you, he just— it was so real and he’d never felt like this before

“love u too.” he’d say that shit so proudly and kiss the TOP OF UR HEAD SO SOFTLY 🥺🥺🥺

when u finally went into labor, u were like wow this hurts a F U CK TOO NNN

u woke up to the bedsheets soaked underneath u, pins n needles were all u could feel

u kinda sat there for ten minutes, scaring urself n making urself nervous when u started doubting yourself and feeling the pain become stronger

ur hands were s hh aa kkyy

u would tap chan so softly and feel a little frustrated he didnt wake up but like how tf was he supposed to feel that 😳

u kinda started crying now because u were STRESSED and him not waking up (no shit ur little tap wasnt gonna work but) it felt like he was gonna sleep forever

so ur hands pressed on chan’s shoulders, shaking them a little bit and letting out a,

“chris?” which ur voice was quiet as hell, shaky as hell, and wavering as you whispered to him

him opening his eyes to see your teary ones n hes just so sad that his heart drops 🥺

he never wakes up quicker though and hes sitting up fast as fuck

“what? what’s wrong?”

ur literally sobbing and hes freaked out by this because u have never cried like this

he kinda just wants to go back to bed since ur just crying but he knows smth is probably wrong because ur SOBBING so

“my water broke.”

now its his turn to be nervous cause fuck he is feeling so unprepared

he said fuck shoes on u, slipping u into his own clothes and helping u into the car so u two could go

did i forget to mention the hospital was an hour away 😳

he wants to pull over hearing u whine n grip his hand, noticing ur quietness and ur little mumbles everytime u rest ur head back after a contraction

he doesn’t give a fuck, he will carry u into the hospital and then put u in a wheelchair from the entrance so u don’t have to walk

u have a feeling maybe hes more nervous than u but atm ur fuckin close to losing it over the pain

u two are settled into a room, epidural done and just trying to make u comfortable now

u were seven centimeters which u still had to wait but u both knew u were close to meeting ur baby

when u are at ten centimeters though, chan is just a ball of tears and he’s just so proud of you

your hand was in his the whole time, chan’s lips near ur ear and he’s just whispering for u to concentrate on him and how much u wanna meet the baby

“i—i can’t do it!” 🥺🥺

you were honestly so drained and ur forehead was laced with sweat, ur hands sweaty and shaking in his own from being nervous and slowly becoming weaker as u put ur strength into pushing

“baby, you are probably what? three pushes, maybe you can cut it to one and a half. alright? you can do this baby, we’re so close to meeting our baby.”

that’s all u needed n chan knew it

surprise surprise,, chan was right about one and a half

“it’s a boy!!” which chan would press his lips to yours so quickly, u two crying and letting out watery laughs as your baby boy cried 🥺

he hasn’t felt this much pride and love since debut or releasing an album or tour, he couldn’t express how gifted he was to have deserved the gift of being a father

ofc they introduce you both to kangaroo care, chan so ready to take off his shirt and feel his baby boy’s skin against his own warm skin and he did so

then it was ur turn to hold him the same way, chan asking u if he could pull down ur gown so u could hold him like he did

that was the picture he needed, snapping it and getting you holding the baby against your naked (ofc ur gown was covering ur breasts) chest, your son sleeping soundly with his hands pressed against you

u two were parents now, u both had learned about pregnancy together and now u two were going to explore parenthood together

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

#bangchan #skz #chan #bangchan x reader #dad!skz #dad!straykids #pregnant!reader #kpop #hyunjin #jisung #han #minho #lee know #felix #seungmin #jeongin #changbin #minho skz #hyunjin skz #seungmin skz #jeongin skz #i.n skz #skz reactions #stray kids reaction #stray kids imagine #stray kids preferences #skz imagine #skz preferences #skz x pregnant!reader

[piplupod]

i fully agree that calling the cops on queer people isn't a great thing to threaten, but also as a minor i get their overall point. i feel that there should be some separation between pride = kink and pride = safe space for all ages. there should be places where younger queer people can go and feel welcome. and it makes me feel v weird to see a bunch of adults yelling at a minor for being uncomfy with kink in public? even if there are historical reasons for its presence, ppl can still b uncomfy

(the post in question)

HIGHKEY GLAD U SENT AN ASK ABOUT THIS TBH, i wanted to talk abt it/expand on it but im terrified of doing so on the post even in the tags bc ppl on here are fucking insane and will screenshot and post stuff out of context and then all of a sudden u get anons telling you to kill urself or smth so UH. yea. anyways. thank u for sending this in bc i wanted to talk abt it but didn't know if i should or not!!! <3

so first off i want to say that i agree with you!!! initially when i saw the post i was like >:/ but then i thought abt it and was like "well,,, wait. dont fuckin call the cops on ppl at pride lol" and rbed it bc i agree w "DONT CALL THE POLICE ON SOMEONE AT PRIDE HOLY SHIT"

i would love if pride could be minor-friendly all the time and luckily it often is. i've gone back and forth on this issue of having kink in pride over the last few years and i'm still not fully settled in one direction or the other bc its a VERY complex issue!

there are historical reasons for sure (that to be totally honest i need to do more research on but ch'boys just trying to stay alive rn shdgfjkl), and there are other reasons for it. personally, i only really get uncomfortable with people wearing kink gear/displaying nudity bc i dont know what to expect from them bc thats not a social norm i encounter ever.

i think maybe where i stand with this issue for now is that it's not going away and it's a big part of pride's history and many activists who got our rights to be where they are now were sex- and kink-positive, often leather enthusiasts. i think that pride is a complex celebration that has sexuality as a big part of it so we shouldn't necessarily censor it entirely (but i absolutely don't want anyone doing any sexual acts at pride lmfao that shit is nasty and you would need EVERYONE'S consent to witness that shdsfjkl). but wearing leather gear and even pup-gear isn't really an issue for me? i know i'm an adult now, but even as a teen i was kind of like [shrug] it's part of sexuality and a big gay subculture and it's not going to stop anytime soon. i just look away if i need to.

i do think it can be uncomfortable for minors but no one is having full sex in public, they're just wearing some funky outfits. this also overlaps for me personally with the whole issue of nudity and the human body being shamed. i think general pride should be at most PG-13 and then anything past that needs to go into private places where minors can either choose not to go into or not be allowed into. but thats ultimately up to the organizers unfortunately!

i don't know. it's very complicated, but the reason why i reblogged that post specifically was because holy shit don't call the cops on anyone at pride, especially since these are LGBT ppl - a minority group, even if they're wearing harnesses or puppy hoods and leashes. sorry for the ramble, my brain is not working very well with words lately :/ i hope this kind of made sense!

TL;DR i only reblogged it bc of the message of "WTF DONT CALL COPS ON PPL AT PRIDE" and i am not really sure what i think about kink at general Pride, its a complex issue that I haven't done enough thinking and research on.

#pippen needs 2nd breakfast #i am terrified to post this lol #but the conversation is very interesting and i enjoy having good discussions abt stuff like this!!! #just wish my brain would work better and that ppl weren't such dickheads #juno answers #its also difficult bc like..... idk im not a minor anymore so its difficult to talk about As An AdultTM

[jiilys]

call if you care for me

Sirius Black to goobers: the one day i actually come and school burns down

Remus Lupin: what classes were you in

James Potter: i was in english you Were Not

Peter Pettigrew: or history

Remus Lupin: it doesnt count as attending school if u just lie behind the science block till lunch  

Sirius Black: youre all ruining this fire for me  

/

James Potter to Lily Evans: give back my chocolate shake

Lily Evans: i dont have it

James Potter: i can see u fuckin drinkin it we’re in the same mcdonalds

Lily Evans: everyones saying you did it

James Potter: pardon

Lily Evans: set the fire

James Potter: come off it

James Potter: whose saying that

Lily Evans: everyone

James Potter: ah yes my great mate ‘everyone’

Lily Evans: mary, elliot from science, louise marcot, guy from math whose name i dont know but went to ball with ruby garland, sam roberts, and sushi danny have all told me it was you

James Potter: wow that does seem like everyone

James Potter: now im wondering whether I did do it

/

Sirius Black to James Potter: had a dream i died in a freak pharmaceutical accident last night

James Potter: what is a freak pharmaceutical accident

Sirius Black: i was drunk in a pharmacy and put all their throat lozenges up my nose 

/ 

Marlene McKinnion to Lily Evans: schools on the news

Marlene McKinnon: why tf are they interviewing black and calling him a ‘student’

Marlene McKinnon: dont u need to attend school for at least 3 out of 5 weekdays to earn that title

/

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: saw u on the news

Lily Evans: ur tie was inside out if thats even possible

Sirius Black: all part of My Look which i have now publicised on national telly so eat ass

/

James Potter to Lily Evans: wow is this what happens when u go in the sun what a tan u have

James Potter: and by tan i obvsly mean you look like an overcooked frankfurter

James Potter: clearly u need to be marinating in sunblock like a chicken

James Potter: GOD these similes……… no wonder I won the english prize over you last year

Lily Evans: what a shame ur going to be murdered before you can win it again

/

Remus Lupin to Marlene McKinnon: just checking ur the one called lesbo archilles in the kahoot

Marlene McKinnon: ya

Marlene McKinnon: why

Remus Lupin: wanted to know who was beating me

Marlene McKinnon: up ur classics knowledge lupin  

/

Peter Pettigrew to only smexy activity permitted: holy dick mum got an email the police think the fire was arson  

Sirius Black: confess now james

James Potter: fuck you

/

Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: have u seen beyonce

Peter Pettigrew: i meant beyonce

Peter Pettigrew: why does it keep saying beyonce

/

James Potter to Sirius Black: nice work autocorrecting ur name in petes phone to beyonce

James Potter: however ur less destinys child and more destinys bastard son

Sirius Black: im making that my tinder bio

/

Lily Evans to James Potter: you know what i think ur socks need 2 pulled higher

Lily Evans: fuck the haters pull those things tits high

James Potter: ur late to this sirius already asked me if i knew i was being eaten alive from the foot upwards

James Potter: theyre literally pulled only just above my ankle i hate everyone i know

/

Remus Lupin to James Potter: have u seen this

Remus Lupin: sent a facebook link to jomes potter (general dickhead) deserves medal for burning down school

James Potter: this is getting out of control I DIDNT DO IT

James Potter: this page has 137 likes and theyve spelt my name wrong i wish i was dead

James Potter: ok why are you and sirius admins

/

Marlene McKinnon to Lily Evans: they know how the fire started

Marlene McKinnon: or mum knows cause shes sleeping with that police guy

Marlene McKinnon: lit cigarette by the languages block between 11-11:15

Lily Evans: fucking pardon

Lily Evans: are you sure

Marlene McKinnon: course i bloody am

Marlene McKinnon: whats the problem

/

Lily Evans to James Potter: james

Lily Evans: not to be drama but i think i fucking burnt down the school

Lily Evans: literally call me asap

/

James Potter to Remus Lupin: hypothetically in a hypothetical situation if someone was hypothetically smoking in the languages block and threw it on the ground at the exact hypothetical time a fire had hypothetically started what would one hypothetically do

James Potter: hypothetically

Remus Lupin: jfc what have u done

James Potter: genuinely not me this time come to lils pls

/

Sirius Black created the group save lily from arrest

Sirius Black added James Potter, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin

Lily Evans: sirius this isn’t funny i could’ve really hurt someone

Sirius Black: senorita blanco failed me in fourth year spanish so you could say it was karma

Sirius Black: also relax evans ur not guy fawkes u only maimed several expensive smartboards  

Remus Lupin: guy fawkes was famously unsuccessful ur reference is shite

Sirius Black renamed the group blow me lupin

/

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: james has it so bad its embarrassing hes followed all her playlists on spotify

Sirius Black: hes making his bed cause shes coming over who is he

Sirius Black: like evans makes her damn bed

/

Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: marnie attkins just told me theres £120 on when youll confess u set the fire  

Peter Pettigrew: can u tell me when ur planning 2 so i can win i promise to split it  

James Potter: pete are you kidding me

/

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: stop looking at the languages block and being a sad sack  

Lily Evans: you mean where the block used to be before i burnt it down

Lily Evans: where are you anyway i cant see you

Sirius Black: on the roof of the bio building i have a deck chair here

Sirius Black: also dont be a drama queen youre not a bad person

Sirius Black: you hurt no one and cant change what happened by blaming urself

Sirius Black: now come 2 the science block and bring those twix in ur bag

/

James Potter to Lily Evans: nice tights

Lily Evans: i think you mean nice legs

James Potter: that too

/

Peter Pettigrew to reese witherhoon: we are go

Remus Lupin: godspeed boys

Peter Pettigrew: wait i left my wallpaper glue in the loos we’re not go

Sirius Black: im keeping one of these fake moustaches i look manly

/

Lily Evans to blow me lupin: sirius can i have the crisps in ur bag

Sirius Black: no

Remus Lupin: lily said to tell you shes lost her phone and cant see ur response so has started eating the crisps

Sirius Black: die evans

/

James Potter to Sirius Black: yeah every time i said I was over lil was a bold faced lie why is she the funniest prettiest best girl alive

Sirius Black: ur pathetic

Sirius Black: whats brought this honestly on

James Potter: she was laughing and i wanted 2 kiss her so bad i gave myself a headache

Sirius Black: i said you were pathetic 2 soon i shouldve said it here

/

Lily Evans to James Potter: i know u don’t think i shouldnt but im going to say it was me

Lily Evans: i mean i know mum cant afford the damage but im sure minnie would help me figure smth out where i could pay it back like over time i mean im just

Lily Evans: it was stupid smokings stupid and i miss it but im never fucking doing it again

Lily Evans: i did a bad thinhg

Lily Evans: i hate wine and its late and im masd u didnt come to this party i want u here

James Potter: dont say anything to anyone im going to ring you

/

Sirius Black to Marlene McKinnon: did you take my deck chair from the bio building roof

Marlene McKinnon: who is this

Sirius Black: come of it mckinnon i know u have my number

Sirius Black: i want my chair back

Marlene McKinnon: sorry was always taught not 2 talk to strangers

/

Mum to James Potter: school called and wants to interview you about the fire

James Potter: brilliant

Mum: bring milk home

/

Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: are you with sirius

Peter Pettigrew: yeah

Remus Lupin: tell him i took his lunch and he wont get it back till he gives me my calculus homework

Peter Pettigrew: sirius says he has ur wallet and is now buying himself lunch

Peter Pettigrew: he said to ask if you wanted anything

/

Sirius Black to blow me lupin: so when is minnie taking u to jail james

James Potter: imminently  

Remus Luping: can we pls change the group name my mum saw these alerts

Sirius Black renamed the group fuck me lupin

James Potter renamed the group raw me behind the nice thai place lupin

Sirius Black renamed the group lupin rim me in ur mums home office

Remus Lupin: too fucking far leave mums home office out of this

Lily Evans: whats this abt james going to jail

/

Lily Evans to James Potter: cant believe you didnt tell me about mcgonagall interviewing you

James Potter: dw the police think its me lol

James Potter: i guess everyones been sharing their theories and that that fb page now has over 200 likes

James Potter: they dont have anything on me though so ur still good  

Lily Evans: they seriously consider you a suspect

Lily Evans: thats a big fucking deal james what the fuck  

James Potter: lily its fine

James Potter: lily

James Potter: jesus dont do anything stupid

James Potter: lily pickup

/

Peter Pettigrew to brats (not the dolls we’re barbie loyalists): omg guys lily just confessed she set the fire who knew!!!!!

Peter Pettigrew: guys

/

Marlene McKinnon to Lily Evans: baller of u to burn down the school and not tell me

Marlene McKinnon: is it cause im gay

Marlene McKinnon: homophobe

Marlene McKinnon: but seriously if you don’t call me in 24 hours im just gunna turn up to your house

/

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: fucking hell evans

/

Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: dont talk to the police without a lawyer

/ 

James Potter to Lily Evans: lily please call me

/

Lily Evans to rim me in ur mums home office lupin: im suspended for two weeks and have to pay off half the damage but not getting charged or expelled

Sirius Black: stunning job on not getting expelled or going to jail

Sirius Black: and a two week holiday!!! im going to burn down the english block

Lily Evans: black ur an ass

Lily Evans: also

Lily Evans added Marlene McKinnon to the chat

Remus Lupin: congrats lil glad 2 have u still with us

Marlene McKinnon: lupin what the hell is happening in ur mums home office

/

Lily Evans to James Potter: before you go getting all drama i didnt come forward because of you

Lily Evans: i did a bad thing and when you do bad shit ur not supposed to own up and say so

Lily Evans: i was being the kind of thing i hate and was sick of it

Lily Evans: but in the interest of honesty thinking about you in serious trouble makes me sick

James Potter: i understand

James Potter: i kinda always thought you would tell youre kind of like that

Lily Evans: like what

James Potter: good all the way through

/

Sirius Black to James Potter: love of ur life is pretty fucking ethical

James Potter: i know shes the best

Sirius Black: wait till i tell her abt that time u took that magazine from the doctors office

James Potter: we were literally seven how do u remember that  

Sirius Black: crimes are immortal 

/

Sirius Black to suck me off at the old quarry lupin: in lilys memory we should hold a bonfire vigil

Lily Evans: sirius im suspended not dead

Marlene McKinnon: rip evans (some fucking year – now)

Lily Evans: u rlly couldnt figure out the year i was born mar

Remus Lupin: gone but never forgotten

Remus Lupin: also stop it with these group names

Sirius Black renamed the group lupin pull me off at the gas station by the crisps

James Potter renamed the group lupin take me from behind in the girls loos at noon

Remus Lupin: hell has nothing on this

/

Lily Evans to James Potter: am very bored and out of oreos

Lily Evans: been considering dying my hair black just for something to do

James Potter: youd look shit with black hair

Lily Evans: youd know

Lily Evans: HA set you up for that id never dye my hair. u fool

James Potter: so rlly what youve been doing all day is thinking of that bit

Lily Evans: not just that i also finished the oreos

/

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: are you asleep

Remus Lupin: its 4am so you know im not

Sirius Black: i have potters keys wanna get mcdonalds

Remus Lupin: ill meet you outside

/

James Potter to Lily Evans: school is shite without you im coming round

Lily Evans: its 11am

Lily Evans: park down the street i have nosy neigbours

/

Remus Lupin to lupin bum me at nasa: for my birthday i want no one to throw up in my shoes

James Potter: it was fucking ONCE

James Potter: im hosting the damn party i wont b ridiculed like this

Sirius Black renamed the group lupin jerk me off while wearing james’ vomit shoes

Sirius Black: two birds one stone

/

Lily Evans to James Potter: have fun tonight tell remus his gift is late but coming

James Potter: we’ll miss you

Lily Evans: nah youll b fine

James Potter: i wont be

/

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: 2 protect ur shoes i put them inside the upstairs loo bowl no need to thank me

/

James Potter to Lily Evans: i know its late and ur going to think im drunk but ive only had one beer

James Potter: im interested in you

James Potter: so interested

James Potter: romantically

James Potter: earlier sirius struck out with some random girl marlene is now making out with and all i want is you here to laugh with us abt it

James Potter: cause youd say smth funny and good that would make everyone laugh

James Potter: also youre so pretty i couldn’t figure out how to work that in there but you are

James Potter: sorry if this makes you uncomfortable and fucks everything i just had to say

/

Lily Evans to James Potter: when you wake up you should probably come round

James Potter: im awake now

Lily Evans: wow an early one

Lily Evans: how was last night

James Potter: well four glasses are broken and peter slept on the dishwasher so standard but i also said how i feel about you to you so incredibly not standard

Lily Evans: yeah about that

Lily Evans: how do you feel about me now your single beer has worn off and the nights over

James Potter: the same

Lily Evans: well you should def come round then

Lily Evans: quite hard 2 kiss u dramatically if ur not here

James Potter: i know ur againist breaking the law and all but you cant say smth like that and expect me not to speed

/

Sirius Black to when will someone offer to eat LUPINS ASS at the museum holiday party c’mon guys he has needs: turns out lily was lighting fires in james heart all along

Lily Evans: jfc

Remus Lupin: i mean what is the correct reaction to that

Marlene McKinnon: removing him from the chat

#og title: call if you care for me at all' but i thought it was to drama no?? #jily #james potter #lily evans #jily fic #brotp: the lot #caroline does social media #i have literally been working on this in bits for two years and in four days i made it come together through sheer force of will #i know its weird and arguably not in character but i couldnt have james burn it down!! where would The Drama be!!! #carolineswritingtag #im on holiday when ur reading this cause queue is a marvel but i hope u liked this!! pls tell me if you do!! #i hope those line things work on mobile cause if they dont this is gunna b murder 2 read sorry team #queue

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“So Happy Together” Analysis

i don’t sleep

tl;dr: tbh not much to go off on about. i think we see a new skin for Iron Bear, one with some stripes. amara smiles, i do talk a little bit about little sisters in bioshock but tbh i think this was all just a stylistic choice lol. oh and handsome jack’s masks- probably Mount Jackmore. i don’t want to get to freaked out over jack returning, but damn gearbox lol u had me there for a second. im pretty sure it’s just a reused cut quest from bl2 that they never got to implement. 

EDIT: here’s all the cut content in bl2 (plus all the non-cut content as well for funsies). you can go to the cut quests and see the audio files for claptrap’s jackmore quest

holy shit can i just vomit all my emotions rn, they’re all good so imma do that so im rational when i start analyzing stuff okay? okay! 

holy shit that was fucking great and im really glad i tempered my expectations to something smaller than i thought because i feel bad for people expecting something huge, i was under the assumption we’d be getting a new mechanic that was like ‘choose ur +1 and they’ll be able to play the game with you if you’re both online even if they don’t have the game’ which was what someone said on reddit. altho im sure the poor company is gonna get spammed now with hate like ‘WTF YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BUILT THIS UP AAAA’. not to lie, i was slightly disappointed it wasn’t a longer stream, but i mean if they’ve got nothing to announce, they’ve got nothing to announce and HEY! new trailer!!! gonna be combing thru on the assumption this has some easter eggs like the MoM trailer did, just in case. i thought it was a cute trailer, gearbox never explicitly said what it was gonna be, a lot people all just assumed what was gonna happen was a demo/beta which sucks so i hope this doesn’t negatively impact people’s perspective of the game. im staying off reddit for now bc when i first checked it people were pretty pissed and i dun need that negativity lmao

okay! emotions are LOCKED behind closed doors. i am shifting into study mode. here we go boys/girls/those of us who know better. haven’t done one of these in a while, let’s see if im rusty at all.

claptrap! and the skull on the chair which reminds me of tyreen’s “favorite skull”. 

tv says “we are under attack, please stand by”

and afaik claptrap is near the beginning of the game, you can see part of the recruitment center behind him when the camera pans.

im thinking there might be something in the roses, specifically the hand-drawn roses later on in the trailer. will be keeping an eye open for that.

this is specifically a jakobs brand chest. i really like the see-through aesthetic of it

intro area of the game again. possible hint to the opening cutscene? tbh i was worried that’s what we were about to get because i haven’t finished the roughs of my mock up lol

so what i didn’t notice my first time through is that you can then see claptrap, also being shown in the chest

waving up at the camera. that’s not trippy at all or anything lol

this car in the foreground (with no one driving it, mind you)

randomly combusts, looking quite like elpis in that one shot of the claptrap presents pandora trailer. wonder if that means it’s gonna ‘splode.

ohhh it spins. please no spin imma get motion sick blech

shot of some cultists. one appears to have a jetpack near the bottom right there

another explosion to the beat

the shock wave!!!! that’s awesome

shock nomads cultists are back. f in chat for our shields

another cultist seconds before he gets blown to bits

it cuts to black for a secco as it moves thru said explosion

another cultist, i assume a psycho

finally some good fucking angles

heh.

idk what i expected from someone who’s first action skill line i ever heard was them shouting MAGIC WALL!!! TAAAADAAAAAAAAH

as a side note

who is shooting those lasers

we see them coming from behind the VHs, but

there’s nothing there

SPOOKY~

they’re coming from... the wall???

tfw u shot urself in the foot on accident

amara is not amused

`is this some human custom i don’t understand yet`

also i hate that i’ve done this exact dance before when i took dance classes as a kid

with less style of course, i was like 7

moze is into it, hell yeah

this reminds me a lot of Kingsman. where all the blood is like fireworks and stuff. i wonder if that has anything to do with the psycho brainwashing. like little sisters in bioshock. they see roses instead of blood, right? maybe there’s something like that going on with the psychos

i’d certainly hope our vault hunters aren’t brainwashed, anyway.

this dude looking SHOCKED to see that tho, lmfao

i relate to this man on a spiritual level i stg

man he looks pissed

omfg lol

“um”

“i guess this is okay”

the body language in this is gold i am just having the time of my life

adsfdgfhgjhgfk

this is so cute

also in retrospect, i think this is one of the turrets we see on promethea. i wonder what it’s doing here!

moze u ok?

oh nvm she’s into it, look at her! she’s dancing! She’s Dancin’!

oooo one of the robots from the we are mayhem trailer! okay you can totally see why i think they’re jakobs, RIGHT???

iirc this is a maliwan soldier

man this is a crossover event, isn’t it?

i get it now. togetherness. i gotchu gearbox.

some maliwan ships in the sky. possibly sanc-iii on the right? or a ship of the same model as sanc-iii!

this is a magitek dropship, change my mind

eh, they both start with M, fuck it.

no idea what fl4k is doing here

mayyyybe shielding themselves from the ‘firework’/confetti shower

i like that the confetti explosions are backed up by purple, you know like eridium/slag/siren powers. seriously, maybe this is just how to cultists see us Vault Hunters and the mass murder.

at the very least, the psychos.

fl4k’s into it. i wish we knew the name of their skag, if it has one. i hope it does.

well now the lasers are coming from the other side! what the hell

moving on

i think this is the HBC from the speakers, plus im pretty sure that skull and the stained glass are the entrance to mouthpiece’s arena

we also get a different colored explosion. im paranoid jack is somehow making a return (please god no), so i’ll just note it’s the same color as his eyes.

AND the chests are vomiting out gold guns, which i think, gold-plated gear, is the cult’s way of signifying standing. which im sure is a tongue-in-cheek commentary as gearbox gives out a gold weapon pack as a pre-order bonus. no, like, it even shows up as an ad on the video

smh gearbox lmao

oh, also, the cultists are doing fuckin flying impressions

im not saying its a reference to the cultist with rakk wings on the cover, buuuut

bitch it might be lol

it’s an upside-down vault symbol! ive been trying to figure out what that is in those screens for the longest time!

back on promethea and we get to see fl4k’s spiderant in action

their skag, too, of course

the jabbermon in the back there, too! i wonder if they’re going to be shock or cryo. i would imagine shock given how they’re glowing

also i love the way the flowers look in contrast to the character models

moze is so happy aw

i love the way fl4k’s skag comes flying in and slides to a stop. such a good doggo ;-;

this is beautiful, i want it as a wallpaper

moze skipping? holy shit

100% verified the best thing i’ve ever seen

i lied. this is.

is this the fast travel station effect?

also! IB is looking a bit different

i wonder if this is a redesign or if IB is wearing a new skin moze picked out

pan over to zane who clearly doesn’t notice the being of darkness and horror in the doorway

oh also, we’re on eden-6 now. which would explain the fast travel effect

psychos dancing on the rooftops lol

oh god my eyes

nothing to really say here, i just like this screenshot

pink shields booyah

this is so fucking cute

we also get a better look at that one facility on eden-6

is that... red i see? >w> i won’t say it i won’t i won’t say it i swear i just- ATLAS

fuck

i like that zane’s clone spawns with his melee attachment

not AS excited as the real life version though

GB pls let this be a zane emote

is that a varkid? on eden-6?

wtf is a varkid doing on eden-6???

more shots of the facility btw. reminds me a lot of sanc-iii so maybe this actually is the supamax mfg construction facility like i originally thought. hmmmmmmm

ah yes, of course

holy shit what is this a reference to?

im told it’s the sex pistols

the back of the bullet turns into Athenas

pans in

amara!

enemy with a top hat on. some variation of/upgraded gravedigger? it’s like a psycho but recolored with blue pants and a top hat. you can see it fall off when amara shoots him

y’know, these guys

some rakk in the background

i am hoping bc this is a celebration of togetherness we’re seeing all enemies everywhere, not that the planets don’t have their own unique fauna.

she’s so happy omfg

oh, you want some?

Uhhh then there’s THIS sequence

they’re doing the flying thing again lmao

there’s also whatever that black blob is on the left. a spaceship maybe?

car wheel

all their eyes started glowing red. uh oh gamers

also another fast travel effect

hmmmm... zarpedon is that you??

back on pandora.

“super 87 racetrack”, maybe this is near that motorcade fast travel we saw?

huzzah! rainbows!

i do believe that’s sanctuary-iii

another ship. drop ship?

elpis is looking nice this time of year. definitely not explode-y. yet.

pret-ty sure that’s iron bear. moze is standing atop the tower lmao

also! back to it’s old paint scheme. looks like moze was using a skin or smth

we also have this. are my eyes failing me or is that a big cross on the left? could be where jack was buried. 

also i know there was cut content in bl2 about Mount Jackmore! and this looks like a Mount Jackmore to me. it’s a cut quest where claptrap asks you to basically ruin the thing. but since the quest was cut, it’s still here in bl3. maybe they’ll reintegrate the quest lol

i can’t imagine it being roland’s gravesite. because it looks like the below.

i do know we’re going to roland’s grave in bl3, but the statues don’t really match up. maybe it is and the statues were broken, or ruined or something and replaced by a cross. could be then that the gravesite was defaced with, well, the guy that killed him. 

im really hoping jack doesn’t make a return. im fine with dealing with what he set in motion, and his influence, and probably even some ECHO logs and movie trailers, but please, for the love of god, don’t actually bring him back, AI or otherwise. im really excited for the calypso twins, i’d really hate to see the focus shift back to that guy. he’s had his fingers in every borderlands game. it’s time to let him go.

idk what this is exactly. it looks like maybe that weird eye bot troy stands next to in the intro for the behind closed doors panel?

goodbye mr magical jakobs chest, it’s been real

the RC now has red drapes going down it. have those always been there? i don’t remember those

hmmmmmmmmm maybe we’re looking at it from the back 🤔

anyway, that’s all she wrote. i haven’t see any hidden morse code messages or anything yet, but if something surfaces, i’ll be sure to add it here.

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #so happy together trailer #oof #tumblr fought me on posting this like 7 times

[unicyclehippo]

Gosh, you’re so inspiring. I’ve been reading your work and following your blog for a while now. You’ve been helping keep me on track for NaNoWriMo with your posts too haha. I was wondering, do you have any tips for writing dialogue? I’ve done research on how to write it and reread my fav books for inspiration but I always feel my characters are so bland at the end? And then the thought of that is so overwhelming lol. Thank you for listening either way. :)

oh hell Yeah nano buddy !!!

uhh dialogue is wildly difficult for me, i find not-dialogue to be so much easier ! that being said, it’s smth im keen to develop so the two things i usually keep in mind is:

a) people very rarely talk to what they actually want to say.

we have secrets & tact & habits & rituals & messy incomplete knowledge & in jokes with people close to us & history & all of that & people say a lot of stuff by bringing up things they “just thought of” or by inching sideways toward a topic or by making pointed digs about someone being untrustworthy/an asshole/etc but never actually saying too much about what they did (rmbr the time they slashed your brothers bicycle tire? - gd, who does that to a nine year old? - he’s genuinely a horrible horrible man).

& b) this isn’t advice on writing dialogue per se, it’s just smth i keep in mind: listen to people around you. eavesdrop. go to a cafe & listen to two friends talk, or people on a date, or someone skype calling their mum. listen to urself when u talk - what are u leaving out? what are u talking around? why do u do it?

humans arent perfect or even necessarily good at talking. a lot of people don’t talk perfectly. a lot of people don’t talk in the same way & especially it is dependant on who we are talking to & in what context. we um & ah & forget words & drop words we don’t need & make jokes & over describe things we really like or that we think the other person would like. maybe they have a stutter or are very shy or it’s not their first language, etc

//

so take this conversation:

“hey, you awake?”

“no.”

“hm. didn’t realise you were a sleep talker.”

(yawn) “runs in the family.”

“... you know rachael, from the store?”

“... i do know rachael from the store. she’s very pretty.”

“oh yes, i definitely would talk about how pretty another woman is in my marriage bed, that’s what i always think really makes my wife happy. all i was gonna say is that she’s a sleepwalker.”

“know that from personal experience, do you?”

“jesus fuckin—she told me it stopped when her husband of nine years whom she loves very much sleeps in the same bed with her every night but it still happens every time he goes away on trips. and yknow they got a kid,”

“just got one outta the store.”

“picked up a brand spankin’ new laddy.”

“for the low low price of seventeen ninety five you too can have a bouncing baby boy. they eat, shit, and sleep and with new features appearing randomly on the daily like crawling frighteningly fast and babbling like they’re talking to someone but there’s no one there and it makes you think your place is haunted, you’ll never know what happens next!”

“no two babies are the same! this one comes pre-installed with a sensitivity to bees, nature’s hardest worker, and enjoys mischief mayhem and smearing his mushy food all over the walls.”

(laugh) “ok what about their bundle of poopy joy? rachael’s, I mean”

“Hmm? oh yeah, hes just learned to walk, yknow, and he’s started to sleep walk too. they’ve found him all over the place. bathroom. staircase. now that actually runs in the family.”

“Huh. cool, I guess?”

“...are you going back to sleep?”

“i was going to try but i guess it depends on if you’re gonna let me. ... anna?”

“yeah. yeah, go to sleep. sorry.”

“are you going to sleep?”

“of course, yeah.” (a Look.) “im fine, love. it’s not like last time. i just...there are a lot of thoughts in my head right now.”

“you? an over thinker? never would’ve guessed.”

“well i try to dumb myself down for you, y’see”

“you do an incredible job of it.”

“cheers.”

“like, a real bang up job”

“you can stop at any time”

“sometimes i think oh boy this lady has nothing in her head at all”

“you are such an asshole” (laugh) “go to sleep”

“you gonna join me?”

“i think I’m gonna go to the study, actually. read through a boring case and try to fall asleep on the couch, okay?”

“...okay. i love you”

//

so forgive me bc it’s early & i don’t actually have a story for this but the subtext of the conversation is that she has insomnia maybe or she’s too anxious to sleep & her wife is trying to sleep & trying to help her to sleep. but there’s no point in talking about things like “have u tried counting sheep” etc bc this is clearly (hopefully) smth that has happened before & they already know those things don’t work. gentle teasing in place of advice to let her wife know that she knows what is going on, to let her know that it’s okay. because she doesn’t know how to rly help her or what to do

so yeah hopefully this was fun to read & maybe helped? it’s by no means perfect advice, just some stuff i have heard & that i use for my own stories. i also find it helps sometimes if im stuck in a scene to write a stripped down version where they aren’t talking around their problem or secret & see what they might want to say. it helps for getting character motivation clear in ur head so it comes through in the proper dialogue. for the previous convo it might be smth like:

“I can’t sleep”

“What do you need?”

“I don’t know”

“I can’t help you and I’m sorry. I love you”

“I know. I’m going to go somewhere else to not sleep so I don’t disturb you”

//

anyway! have fun nano buddy!! may your dialogue flow easily ! may your characters not fight Too Much as you set them on the page !

#nano tag

[kae-karo]

Hi Katie! I just want you to know that I want your analysis of this new sims video more than anything and I'll just patiently wait for it... Have a nice day!

hi dear!! new sims vid, did u mean dnp simulator?

dorks spending the first ten seconds dancing in fake snow 

why virtual friends???? ??

my daddies gave to me y’all,,,,,,there’s knowing your branding and then there’s acting on that knowledge and i think this may have been one time where acting on your knowledge maybe was not a good call like ily and u do u and all but

i love phil loving his branding it’s cute also shoutout to @dnpscloset​ thanks for finding it (x) bc i want one now if anyone needs a last minute xmas idea i’m lookin at u mom u always wait til the last minute

same dan, same

‘we all have new faces and new lives and everything’s changed, this is gonna be hella dramatic’ *inhale* *exhale*

‘when u imagine the howlter family’ god they’re such adorable n sentimental nerds i love them

phil’s actual default is bein a leany boye

dnp arguing about what ‘desperate’ actually is as if the entirety of their first year after meeting they weren’t talking as often as they could five hour skype calls amirite

get away from me stalker lmao bold of u to say that danny

phil sweetie i love you with my entire heart he’s so so excited abt the virtual snow i love him

tiny zoom in jumpcut at 2:08 overlapping audio interesting

a mood and a half

phil immediately going ‘yeahhhhh thin walls family hearing things they gotta get out’ abt dab and evan like m8 we get it all u think abt is sex we get it god u and ur husband really are made for each other aren’t u (dnp = devan reference #1)

‘i presume evan is also jobless’ ‘i hope so!’ phil is it really,,,,,,smth to be excited about,,,,,,,

dan’s doin a lot of the hand phone lately u cute boy

we should have a redbull what is wrong with them phil can barely handle having too much sugar y’all thought it was a good idea to have a redbull also we should have a redbull they share literally everything which tbh is probs for the best lbr phil on a whole can of redbull hmmmmm yes ik it’s v possible and in fact probable that phil had his own can let me live

‘it’s a sensible lightweight jacket’ in the fucking snow wow dan u really did just set urself up for phil to drag u about not dressing for the weather

dan’s fucking laugh at 4:39 gives me life literally there is no purer and more adorable sound like that’s up there with kittens purring

‘i think he’s gonna be a bit of a diva in this relationship’ did you mean: dan howell (dnp = devan reference #2)

[slight bit of ankle is showing] dan: ‘and now you’re wearing shorts’

where’s the lie tho honestly that lil pause before he said mate

this clip will live in infamy bc i want this in every fucking phan edit for the rest of time like i can’t even think of the right out-of-context clip right now but anything that can be answered with phil saying ‘it’s dan’ i need it

mandatory phil covering his mouth and bein a cutie

yes destroy gender roles in the snow universe (although seriously dan’s ‘life is just about uncon-doing the horrible conditioning of all these gender stereotypes, phil’ is so important also i stan phil recognizing that before dan i think it’s really easy to forget that just bc up til recently he’s not been as expressive as dan of his opinions on how stupid gender roles are doesn’t mean he doesn’t have just as if not more progressive a mindset than dan)

‘it’s like a dan vs phil’ dnp = devan #3

dan has such a lovely singing voice i miss him singing

dude phil’s eyebrows are making a Solid appearance v expressive

i s2g this is a different moment from the one above he’s just so fricken cute???

‘but they’ve got each other’s backs, phil, just like dab and evan’ yeeeeaaaa i’m gonna go ahead and go with dnp = devan reference #4 here i think that’s fair

snow angels are the least fun thing to do and yet (x - it literally won’t let me put it in bc it’s a privated vid rip)

amazing they just started having a snowball fight how cute n domestic am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan hmmmm - dnp = devan #5

i get that infinity war was a meme but lads it’s time to let it go

‘and they’re called the howlters’ lmao as if u ain’t an honorary lester daniel (dnp = devan #6)

i’m living for phil’s excitement i mean if that’s what redbull does to him i’m here for it i guess?

hi they’re dumb this was cute

‘we don’t want to be those people, but for us personally, we very much found that you just need to just move into a big city of some kind and just jump into life with both feet’ this is not only adorable advice but also where dnp simulator comes into play aka we did this so uhh dab n evan should do it (dnp = devan #7) also dan speaking for them both singular pronouns are quaking

‘don’t trust that’ what on earth are u on abt phil what don’t u trust the fuckin desert or?????

scalyburg phil stop pls we know we get it dan’s a furry ur a scaly we got it

why does dan spend an entire 7 seconds (8:40) adjusting is he moving closer to phil? switching which leg he’s sat on? idk but it lead to me pausing at this moment which was a gift in and of itself

‘the deposit on that one, plus the weekly went would make us instantly broke, so that’s fun, us when we moved to london’ bih do u hear me crying

does dan remember phil’s first manchester apartment what kind of question is that phil have u met dan he probably remembers every bloody inch of that place i mean he did remember that there wasn’t a bedside table so

stop that

middle of the city, romance festival, geekcon, pretty views and cherry blossom trees sounds like dnp’s ideal location do u get why i’m calling it dnp simulator yet also dnp = devan #8

we don’t want to move next to the karaoke legends wow dan bold of u to say after belting helena at 2am real bold

phil having flashbacks to the apt they toured where they found out people died there

hi phil just looks so excited by everything

look i’m not saying anything except they’re managing to find a lot of similarities b.w their lives and what they’re doing for dab and evan okay like this apartment is great for people-watching? which is what phil did in his manchester apt?

context whomst? idk her

shoutout to the wardrobe

big bold life-changing steps

anon spitting truth up in this house (but like,,,,,my thoughts exactly lmao i was like they’re such introverts they would’ve avoided meeting their neighbors at any cost including apparently smacking into a locked door trying to avoid small talk phil we love u bab)

casually mentioning dan saying ‘we are dil-’ was he gonna say dil’s son, maybe but i like to remember the bloops of dan repeatedly calling dab dil so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

omg okay so from like. this point on, when dan’s like ‘here is my vision’, i’m absolutely getting queer eye vibes like amateur queer eye tho like two gay nerds trying to embody queer eye in their lives a bit oh wait

okay okay okay dan u said an ensuite bathroom and then failed to add a door to the bedroom do u understand how frustrating that is???????? do u understand how stressful it was for me to watch that whole damn vid and know that u forgot the door????

a space for hobbies what hobbies who has hobbies

they learned nothing from building their house before: phil should take the mouse away from dan immediately look at him he is such a sugar baby in this jfc

god dan is so cute get these idiots a penthouse apartment super high up so he can have his bath next to a window okay he deserves that in life

stop it they’re literally agreeing on almost every single thing god they literally share a single brain

amazing

leany boye

‘they are young adults moving into their first apartment, you don’t have art!’ okay first of all don’t even go there daniel second of all i’m sorry you’re the one arguing for spending literally all their money but u don’t want to get some art bc it’s unrealistic????

dan saying lovely

phil’s mr carpet

navy??? navy? when did they? why? 

i would get involved in a criminal plot to have that / i’m gonna throw you out of one

wow pro tips makin a comeback

phil is Losing Steam

oh my god okay so i was joking but literally phil is losing steam lmao 18:35 he says ‘ayy’ and it’s so tired-sounding

leany leany boyes

okay look ik dan’s going into ‘aww poor philly’ mode but also he knew that very quickly like honestly that’s not a Thing i would ever notice about someone tbh i’m not saying it’s like Significant but damn danny was really into phil to know that shiz man

the high-fashion gigantic rug of our dreams

okay look i can’t make this up phil literally leans away for a bit and then

hello daniel’s Curl

i stan phil getting excited over plants

dab and evan will be having a mario kart fest will they (dnp = devan #9)

mirroringggggggg

dude big mood god they’re so fond and full of memories 

honestly dnp made it that way like u cannot convince me they didn’t purposely decide to do that mmkay

‘see they are ready to have their romantic dinners. and then they can pretend they have another friend and it’s fine!’ am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan who knows :) (dnp = devan #10) 

cold in the middle what on earth i literally have no memory of that i mean it could just be my shit memory but jfc they just remember that stuff goddamn

scrunchy boyes also phil where’s ur arm at hm

like i’m not fuckin joking where is it

you can’t exist without a computer i mean

what is important in life / the internet

they don’t even have fucking doors and dan’s like ‘uhm they need a terrarium’ dan i’m stressed

oh my god i’m sorry phil is so done with this now it’s actually comical

hi they didn’t add a door for the ensuite

give dnp an interior design series honestly give them any series

phil reached for dan’s hand u cannot convince me otherwise

‘not my personal taste’ really,,,,,really

when dab n evan hug dan looks at the screen n phil looks at the camera things u didn’t need to know but now u do

lmao jumpscared by the kiss

‘i feel like i’ve never nailed anything more in my entire life’ hmmmm hmmmmmmmmmm hm

the fuck was dan’s ‘getting a job’ that’s his fnaf voice u stop that

doon doon doon doon

tongue

hi uhm what the Fuck was that jumpcut at 28:30 i hate Obvious Jumpcuts with a burning passion specifically bc of dnp

#dnp #dan and phil #dapg #phan #danandphilgames #sims #devan #vid analysis #anon #ask #kt

[j4nn4s]

omg bc its his birthday im gonna talk abt all the things that make isak and his pov and his season mean sm to me :’) esp bc it was the season that REALLY really hit me bc i related so fuckin hard to isak and this season made skam my fave show of all time 

ok so first things first ...... weed ...... girl me too

ALWAYS LOOKIN AWAY WHEN UR CRUSH LOOKS AT U !!!!! BRO 💀 ... honestly eye contact can be too intense sometimes im so bad w eye contact ugh isak boo its fine ... like even when him and even were next to each other it was too hard to look at him and it really b like that

omg when isak left the room even though even was there so he COULD have gotten to know him more but bein in the same place as ur crush is also too intense n too much to deal w so its easier n safer just to leave n BS in the rr ..... HOLY FUCK 

EVERYTHIN THAT IS GOIN TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN !!! this is smth ive always thought of in terms of the universe n im p agnostic but if i believe in anythin i believe in the power of the universe as a whole and deadass isak rlly on screen sayin my thoughts on the universe ......... ugh king

holy shit the thing w his mom ..... hit too TOO close to home honestly ... some bg: my mom is a christian conspiracy theorist and so like talkin to her abt politics or religion or literally even Reality is tough and i felt like it was such a niche experience and yet isak is deadass basically goin through the same thing ?? like his mom has a MI too but like the whole thing w donald trump and the world ending and her being christian on top of all that literally made me tear tf up bc if ur in a similar situation, its so fucking tough sometimes and so hard to understand (like its p comical the conversations she brings up and so its so easy to laugh abt it but then u rmr u cant even connect w ur mom abt reality and u feel like u lose them .... like im sure isak has felt the same) ... so i can see how isak was tired of that shit (i deadass moved across the country to get out of my house bc of it too) 

omg ...... never ever wanting to express ur internal conflict or feelings to anyone out loud and would literally rather keep it to urself ..... THAT HIT A LITTLE TOO HARD BITCH OW

ok honestly i relate sm to isak And even cus i really really Really needed to hear du er ikke alene and i wished i had this in HS too bc thats definitely a message i needed UGHHH im p sure thats why i cried so hard at o helga natt too

LMAOOO this boy loves a good bit and loves to exaggerate for the bit and me as shit ..... the whole bad liar bit and then the thing w evens mom OMFGGGGG girl ive done that on too many dates we love a good bit ....

ofc when isak has a crush he tries to play it cool cus fr same ..... idk why but my tendency is to talk abt the shit i like around my crush or in their vicinity so they hear LMAOOO deadass isak too when he was talkin abt nwa iewjqij

holy shit that last talk with eva really Punched Me in the Gd Chest like ....... when isak started talkin abt how all he’d do was just watch shows and game and do literally nothin and waste his life away .... esp bc at that time (and still a bit now tho not as intense as when i was in HS/1st yr of college) i was basically doing the same but like being on the internet the entire day doing nothing too and ive always struggled w that ..... and one factor of why is bc it was just Safer to do that and thats probs what isak felt .... which is why he basically said i rather it be less safe and terrible at times in order for me to Live and experience the best parts of life (like even) and that ending line ‘livet er nå’ literally made me tear tf up and made me sit there for a few moments to process bc it rlly did feel like in that moment, SKAM was directly speakin to me and that was the first time i have Ever felt that from a show (and its such an important mssg that i can go on abt but i FRRR want it tatted on me like its That much of an important line fuck)

#this probs revealed sm abt me but whatever its my blog LMAOOO #isak valtersen #skam #the peep tag #long post #THE REWATCH HIT SO HARD UGHHHH

[lesbianfreyja]

hey do u have any ways u force urself to write. i need to write this fucking faulkner paper and like ik i can and itll be good once i do it i just need to Do It its already like 900 years late. im loving yahfhskjd law so so so so much btw i rlly love ur characterization for den and the whole fic is just so endearing and enjoyable like theres heaviness to it but its not like overbearingly angsty and its just rlly fun to read

i have some advice but it might not be universal or healthy (lol) and it differs heavily based on what i’m writing

fic writing is for fun, and that’s why i try to remember when i’m doing it. sometimes it becomes obsessive (because i have ocd, and because i love validation, and that’s quite the line to tread lmao) but ultimately i do it because i love it/i have shit to say/stories drum in my fingers until i get them out, even if it takes time. i’m glad you love it!!!! if people didn’t i’d get demoralized way more often! with fic writing, usually i can’t force myself to do anything until i know the basics of what i want down - right now i’m stuck on a scene b/t charlie and mac because i know what i want them to get out of it, but i have no idea what the outside context of the overall conversation will be. usually in that case, i just have to wait it out.

inspo will come to me when it comes, maybe from binge watching the show, maybe from watching smth else, maybe from a convo i have irl or a dream or what have you. in the meantime i write as much around it as i possibly can. i’ve currently written every single scene for the next chapter that either came easily or at least didn’t come extremely difficultly, and once i have part of a scene down i usually let the characters’ voices follow me through the rest of it…sometimes you just have to let them run free. writing fic for me is often a solid push and pull of me nudging the characters down the path i want them to take, but mostly i just sit there and imagine them talking, and see what they say. i have to parse apart exactly how i think they’d say it, but i can get a fair amount of their tone and message just from listening to them have the convo in my head. not to be extremely embarrassing on main but when i was obsessed with twilight, stephenie meyer basically said this in her faq and it really resonated with me lmao. this applies to original fiction btw too. that’s why its often easy to finish a scene once i’ve begun it, if i can get a piece of the convo than usually i can build outward - give me a snippet of a convo and i can begin to see their location, what started this convo, and their motivations. i’ll have to trim it down to fit their tone/how often they lie/how difficult they find it to express themselves later, but after i get it all out, it’s easier to cut away the ooc parts until you’re left with glances to convey what used to be a paragraph and what have you

can’t write a sex scene? have a drink or two and write it all spelling errors and all, it’s usually way dirtier than i intended too but you can clean ALL that up and make it in-character in editing

academic writing was never nearly as difficult for me, especially once i got to college. pretty much everyone i know used adderall to write essays, and i sat down a few times expecting to do that myself, but i ultimately never ended up needing it. in high school i was smart enough to more or less make shit up to get through it (i always say the only thing i learned in high school is how to bullshit effectively) but in college you get to pick your research topics, or they’ll hand you a book and tell you to pick whatever part of it you want to write about, so i usually latched on to one snippet of interest and expanded from there (many of my essays were about how the characters were secretly gay or more or less feminist than they should be, as you can imagine)

i was never much for formal outlines, and i DON’T subscribe to the 5 paragraph essay format, but i usually made a basic outline in my notebook so i’d remember to hit all the points i wanted to make/be able to steer myself back on course when i started rambling abt something. usually i have an overarching point, and like 2 supporting arguments that i go into HEAVY detail about and probably have some supporting arguments about them within themselves. make an outline that lists your thesis and your 2 or 3 main points. if you CAN easily, write down some supporting arguments for those main points, but don’t get caught up on it.

how do i start? just sit down and fuckin start. deadass. tell yourself that if you finish before 8pm you can smoke a bowl or something, then smoke a bowl after you’re done regardless of the time. then sit down and just start typing, WHEREVER your mind wants to begin. let it, it’s way easier to follow your motivation than try to corral it, you’ll just end up giving yourself writer’s block

intros are easy. don’t worry too much about starting them; you can come up with a catchy first sentence way later (same with a catchy ending sentence; i still CANNOT write last lines for the life of me). for your intro literally just say: These 2 or 3 things are connected, actually, and I think they connect in a specific way to prove [thesis]. you can bulk out the intro later, but MOVE ON. that’s not the important part of the essay, at all. if your thesis can’t be turned into a question THAT YOU THEN ANSWER, then it needs to be bulked out. you should be able to make it a question, for example: Why is Emily Dickinson a lesbian? becomes “Dickinson’s lesbianism is the driving force behind her decisions to do x, y, and z” in which x y & z are the main points of your essay.

don’t worry too much about sources or quotes. i can’t tell you how many times i just made arguments in essays and then put in brackets [find a throwaway quote about x to support this later], then highlighted the text so it’d stand out and i’d remember to get back to it later. then MOVE ON.

don’t get caught up in anything, not grammar, not specifics, not finding the perfect segue between paragraphs. just try to get down everything you have to say FIRST, or you’ll bog yourself down and lose steam. sit there until you’re done making your points, then take a break

conclusions are easy. scroll back up to your intro. what does it say? put that back down, exactly, and bulk it out a little by referencing some points in the main paragraphs of your essay. if your intro just said “x y and z is true” then your conclusion should say “her woodcarving shows x is true, the fact that the moon was full that day is why y is true. these two things make z true”

go back and find sources/quotes to plug into all the times you wrote [find a throwaday quote]

TAKE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE OFF. if you try to edit and expand immediately, you WILL fail to catch things. if you’re a little unfamiliar with your own writing, you’ll be able to catch things like spelling errors, things that make so little sense you have no idea what you were trying to say, times you forgot to plug in a quote, or when a transition sounds a little like a record scratching instead of playing smoothly

if you’re really pressed for time: just fucking send it in without doing a second reread, because FUCK IT. getting it done is more important than perfectionism; fixing those last straggling spelling errors gets you +2 points whereas being a day late loses a letter grade

most importantly: WRITE ABOUT WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT. if you’re only getting specific prompts, try to twist it as best you can until you give a fuck about it, it’s WAY easier to write about shit that matters to you. i LOVED twisting prompts until suddenly this boring ass white boy book is secretly about this minor female character that appeared on 2 pages, and after awhile i got really fucking good at it.

just sit down and start writing. you’ve got to start somewhere, even if you end up erasing and rewriting the starting point later. at least you’ve got the ball rolling.

#not to geek out and go full english major but i miss writing argumentative essays #like medium key #holy SHIT!! why is this an essay in and of itself like you didn't even ask lmao #fic stuff #yl #college #book tag #anon #ask

[depressedbubblegum]

Entry9

Hello it’s me again

I am sorry for not posting but I just couldn’t get myself to post

So let me tell you what happend

On my other blog @fatcrystalpiggy I nearly reached my first GW and I was so proud but idk it just broke all down again

My eating habits were kinda better for me I stopped eating bread for idk a long time and had safe food and well it was good I think bc I lost weight and my family started again to tell me that I lost weight and that made me happy

My sleeping habits are not better I think even worse but who cares haha..

But I think the worst is that I am in love.

It’s not crush or something I am srsly feeling something for somebody like idk this dis shit new for me and I can’t stop thinking bout and him and I love him and when he’s smiling I am happy and when I wanna cut me I am thinking bout him and I am kinda okay and he’s making me feel special but he can make me feel like shit too but that’s okay he doesn’t know how I feel cuz I don’t want him to hate me and idk it’s just he’s making me crazy and everything’s good and omg I just love him i just want to be in his arms and i know this will never happen cuz i am not enough but who cares I want to be happy for a sec Idk if i am happy but I am less sad depressed and AHHHHHHHHH

But here’s something else my „friends“? Idk if we’re friends or not haha..there is that other girl that I like and she’s into him too and already confessed but he said no and idk what to do I love him but I love her too and I said to my friends (in my class only my „best friends“ know it)that I would never get together with him bcuz if her cuz I don’t want her to feel sad or smth and nice my „mom“ came in and told me to shut the light and I told her just shut the damn light and leave but she wanted to argue nice I think I am gonna cry again lol haha I wanna fuckin end this but noooo we love u and how can u think bout that think bout that AND I JUST WANNA LOSE CONTROL FOR ONCE AND TELL THEM EVERYTHING I NEVER SAID but I am scared idk If i am scared that i am gonna hurt everybody or everybody’s gonna hurt me with their responses and idk which is sadder hah..back okay so I talked with the girl and she was like I am the wrong and person and i‘ve made this mistake (she was in a rs with I think 2 boys and the girl I told ya before was into them and ahhhh)so and when I was feelin down she was like is it bout him and I was like u don’t wanna talk bout it and she was dodging the problem again with no I am there for u if u wanna talk but I am the wrong person like srsly just say u don’t wanna talk bout It it’s okay it’s easier for me so pls but nooooo and i just wanna die lol so and the boy was kinda more there for me and Idk i think he hates me (lol everybody hates u u fuckin dumb bitch kill urself BUT NOBODY CARES ENOUGH BOUT U)and I am so annoyin but smth else

There is this girl

I know her for like 3 years and she’s idk a good friend? Idk what real friends r like I think I never had one before I’ve moved into a new city but well she Is always there and so but she’s also guttun me and showing signs of a toxic friends but she was like I can trust u and I love u for that and so and I just feel bad bout throwing her out of ma life and I’ve done many bad things and ahhhhh but today I just can’t I really wanna throw up so hard I I idk she was like let’s meet and be honest with each otherand I was like u know I can’t (I think yesterday I told her that my anxiety is keeping me back I mean I can’t even trust myself like bitch who am I what is I idk)but I was like u can tell me everything when u r ready and she was lien I don’t need to excuse myself in front of a person who’s telling me that she loves me and that I mean a lot to her but can’t tell me the truth I mean it took so long for me to tell somebody about my anxiety not even the doctors know that but OKAY and I was like ouch that hurted and she so yeah that should hurt and THATS WHY I AM NOT OPENING UP CUZ EVERYBODY IS HURTING ME AND I I i just don’t wanna be hurt anymore and idk

It hurts

It getting bad again

Because of others

Yes

Because of others

Please be careful with what you say

You Are killing people

Kids

Words are a deadly weapon if you use them wrong

Or right..?

It’s was so good to write this

Thank you

Stay strong and please wake up

#depressed #depression #help #help haha #fuck i need help #suicde #anoreixa #deprese #pro anna #proani #love #heart #heartache #my heart #why am i like this #what am i doing with my life #i want to cry #i want to disappear #i want to be skin and bones #insomnia #tears #crying #just sad #why #diary #teen

[vaalinors]

you’re the anchor (that i tied to my brain)

Edward Elric to the last jedi 9 pm DON’T BE FUCKING LATE IM TALKIN TO U YAO: pray tell where the fuck is my brother

Edward Elric: it is 8 o fucking clock 

Edward Elric: im locked the fuck out of the house 

Edward Elric: and al STILL ISN’T BACK FROM HIS GODFUCK SHITHOLE DATE

Paninya: ed take a deep breath n hurl urself into a pond or smth

Paninya: als been freakin out about mei for at least 38478392 years now

Paninya: let him relieve his thirst

Paninya: AND BTW THIS IS UR OWN DAMN FAULT

Edward Elric: how in The FUCK???? is this MY FAULT??????

Paninya: u couldve had a perfectly gross dorm on campus bUT NO U HAD TO BE BOUJEE N RENT AN APARTMENT WITH UR BROTHER

Edward Elric: IM ONLY LOCKED OUT BC AL LOST HIS GODDAMN KEY AND I

Edward Elric: BEING THE SAINTLY BROTHER THAT I AM

Ling Yao: w0w thats a lie

Edward Elric: GAVE HIM MINE AND NOW I GOTTA SCREAM AT HIM TILL HE PUTS HIS TONGUE BACK IN HIS OWN MOUTH AND COMES THE FUCK BACK

Winry Rockbell: u reeaaallly dont gotta

Paninya: have u heard??? of this thing??????

Paninya: called????? pm?????????????

Paninya: bc its a thing u could use to bitch at al without annoyin the entire shit outta the rest of us

Ling Yao: lol lan fans at her grandpas rn and her phone cant be put on silent

Ling Yao: shes going to kick ur ass

Edward Elric: IM gonna kick ALS ass if he doesnt show up in the next half hour I DONT CARE IF HES ON A FUCKIN DATE

Ling Yao: may i remind u my sister is the girl ur brothers currently wooing

Ling Yao: u do that and lan fan wont be the only one kicking ur ass

Edward Elric: what think u can take me weakLing

Ling Yao: uh duh but i was talking about mei

Edward Elric: PLS shes what half a foot tall????? PLSSSSSSS

Lan Fan: so twice as tall as you

Edward Elric: DO,,,,,U WANT,,,,,,.,TO FUCKING DIE,,,,,,,.,.,,,,

Lan Fan: edward

Lan Fan: i am at my grandfathers house

Lan Fan: my phone is ringing so loud my neighbors think their doorbells r broken

Lan Fan: my grandfather is ready to smash it into oblivion

Lan Fan: if he does we WILL be reliving 3/10 and youll be tasting a lot more than just your stomach acid when im done with you

Lan Fan: do not make me sneak out of training to answer you again

Paninya: Rekt™

Ling Yao: mic drop

Edward Elric: psh whatever

Edward Elric: u fuckers think 3/10 scared me

Edward Elric: GUESS FUCKING AGAIN

Edward Elric: FUCKING C O M E  A T  M E

Paninya: o look shes typing

Edward Elric: anyway im gonna pm al goodnight and thank u

Winry Rockbell to is it gay to want to literally drink ushers voice: OI AL how was the date

Winry Rockbell: I WANT DETAILS

Edward Elric: if anyone wants to know how to be the Creepiest Fucking Person Ever

Edward Elric: talk to winry

Winry Rockbell: well seeing that i won best ed impression two years in a row now id say i do indeed know

Edward Elric: HAR DE HAR

Edward Elric: u think u fucking know me???

Alphonse Elric: Is it hard?

Paninya: yea all u rlly gotta do is yell fuck a lot

Alphonse Elric: Put ur hair in a braid with one obnoxious ass strand sticking right up

Winry Rockbell: dont forget u have to crouch down

Winry Rockbell: i recommend kneeling

Edward Elric: dont think i cant deck all u shitdicks

Ling Yao: ive just annoyed the info out of my sister

Ling Yao: it seems al is quite the casanova

Ling Yao: clearly not a family trait BUT

Edward Elric: i will piss in ur backpack

Ling Yao: case in point

Ling Yao: ANYWAYS UPDATE ON THE BET FRONT

Ling Yao: as im sure u all know ned, roy mustang and i have had an ongoing wager AKA who can wrangle the most freshies into joining his club

Ling Yao: well as of today the martial arts/dance troupe has 20 more members

Edward Elric: BULLSHIT

Ling Yao: and i believe that pulls me ahead of ned to tie evenly with mustang

Ling Yao: and really would any of u choose archery over martial arts??

Paninya: tbh i choose social life over any clubs but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: basic bitch

Paninya: u kno it

Paninya: but srsly wtf shifty how did u get 20 new members so fast

Lan Fan: he showed off and gave his number out to like half of them

Ling Yao: :O how could u EXPOSE ME LIKE THIS

Ling Yao: I tRuSTeD YOu

Lan Fan: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edward Elric: just u fuckin wait ling

Edward Elric: ill leave both u asshats in the GROUND

Alphonse Elric: I mean first u have to

Alphonse Elric: Yknow

Alphonse Elric: Be taller than the ground

Edward Elric: I LIVE WITH U I CAN MAKE UR LIFE FUCKING MISERABLE U HEAR

Winry Rockbell to kyle ron WHOMST???: so about laser tag this weekend

Winry Rockbell: invite lings sister yay or nay

Lan Fan: why not

Rosé Thomas: It’d even us out

Rebecca Catalina: does it even matter tbh we all kno whichever team rizas on is gonna win

Riza Hawkeye: Catalina i resent that statement

Rebecca Catalina: pls point to me where thE LIE IS HAWKEYE

Winry Rockbell: ok then

Winry Rockbell added Mei Chang to the chat

Paninya: EY UVE JUST BECOME PART OF THE MESS THAT IS US SOPHS

Maria Ross: and a few seniors

Paninya: WE’RE BASICALLY A KPOP GROUP BUT BETTER (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

Lan Fan: ok we’re going laser tagging this weekend you in

Mei Chang: i feel like i may die if i say no so as long as my idiot brother isn’t going i’m in

Paninya to could u actually perhaps makin bacon pancakes: [DELETED MESSAGE]

Ling Yao: wot

Alphonse Elric: Whos going laser tagging

Winry Rockbell: pan ffs

Paninya: (◔◡◔✿)

Edward Elric: fuckin RUDE

Lan Fan to Panko: what is it

Panko: i have no idea what u mean my dear

Lan Fan: uve been typing for an hour now AND i can hear your teeth grinding from my room

Panko: i have no idea what u could be referring to my sweet

Panko: i just wanna kno how ur days been

Lan Fan: this is about ling isnt it

Panko: dear

Panko: u used an emoji

Panko: u never use emojis

Lan Fan: look i get that youre just looking out for me

Lan Fan: but its fine and so am i

Lan Fan: i really dont need a pity heart to heart

Lan Fan: besides hed give out his number to everyone in the world if he could thats just who he is

Panko: well ur not wrong

Panko: is it bad to say im so glad i rarely have to deal with bois

Lan Fan: girls can be idiots too

Panko: ppl in general usually r

Alphonse Elric to WE CANT KEEP DOWN ALL THAT VODKA ON KRAFT MAC N CHEESE: So i cant feel

Ling Yao: mY FACE WHEN IM WITH U

Alphonse Elric: That and the rest of my body

Alphonse Elric: How is one person so funny and sweet and amazing

Paninya: MY SON HES IN LOVE YALL

Paninya: ITS TRUE FUCKIN LOVE

Paninya: ELRIC 2.0 TEXT ME IF U NEED ANYTHIN

Paninya: CONDOMS

Winry Rockbell: oh god

Paninya: BIRTH CONTROL

Edward Elric: PAN WHAT THE FUCK U THINK AL KNOWS WHAT A CONDOM IS

Paninya: HE IS A HORNY TEENAGE BOI I BET U MY ENTIRE ASS HES USED ONE BEFORE

Lan Fan: PANINYA

Mei Chang: uh

Paninya: oh fuck

Ling Yao: mei so it was U that made that balloon fart noise just now

Lan Fan: ling kindly shut up

Edward Elric: SO AL ISNT BREATHING I THINK HES DEAD

Edward Elric: HES BEEN STARING AT HIS PHONE FOR 10 MINS NOW FUCK WHAT DO I DO

Paninya: CALL 911 U MORON

Lan Fan: where do you live i know CPR

Ling Yao: thats hot

Winry Rockbell: MEI PRETEND U CANT READ

Mei Chang: er i can’t read suddenly i don’t know

Ling Yao: (╯°□°)╯now she gives in to the memes

Edward Elric: ok nvm hes alive

Edward Elric: buT I M NOT GONNA BE FUC KBRB RUNNINGgh

Paninya: rip in peace

Alphonse Elric to how Extra™ do u gotta be to come up with fuccboi: So we’re still down for gta tomorrow right

Alphonse Elric: Ed cant make it because i killed him

Ling Yao: the old ed cant come to the phone right now

Ling Yao: why

Edward Elric: because hes going to cut off lings fucking elbows

Roy Mustang: can you even reach his fingers

Edward Elric: listeN HERE U liL SHIT

Alphonse Elric kicked Edward Elric from the chat

Ling Yao: thats cold

Ling Yao added Edward Elric to the chat

Roy Mustang: i knew it couldnt last

Edward Elric: if any of u polefucks ever want to know how to get ling to do something bother lan fan

Ling Yao: try it again and i will Key Your Face

Ling Yao: she has a physics test tomorrow

Alphonse Elric: Wow

Roy Mustang: :O

Jean Havoc: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Edward Elric: i got the beer for tmr night

Alphonse Elric: Damn right u do im not letting u in otherwise

Edward Elric: ignore asshurt over here hes pissed i embarrassed him in front of his date

Roy Mustang: at least he has one

Jean Havoc: yeah have u ever had a girlfriend edward??

Denny Brosh: Do you know what a woman is ned????

Edward Elric has left the chat

Ling Yao to Good Shit ✔💯: hey lan fan

Ling Yao: LAN FAAAAAN

Good Shit ✔💯: what

Ling Yao: guess who i just saw in chem doodling one miss rockbells name on his hw

Good Shit ✔💯: no

Ling Yao: oh yes

Ling Yao: i wanted to take a pic but ed decided to be a good student and tore it off before handing it in

Good Shit ✔💯: does he even try in chem

Ling Yao: no but at least he doesnt fall asleep like he does in lit

Good Shit ✔💯: hemingway puts everyone to sleep

Good Shit ✔💯: read some brontë or steinbeck

Good Shit ✔💯: id say dickens too but anti Semitism and all

Ling Yao: i love it when u talk lit to me

Ling Yao: reminds me of when u used to sneak into our library and read the biggest books u could find

Good Shit ✔💯: better than you climbing up the side of my house to sneak into my room

Ling Yao: pls u loved it

Good Shit ✔💯: debatable

Good Shit ✔💯: club meetings today dont forget

Ling Yao: how can i ur always here to remind me ;)

Winry Rockbell added Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Maria Ross, and Rebecca Catalina to ROSE TYLER DEFENSE SQUAD WHERE YALL AT

Winry Rockbell: just so we’re clear friday nights a byob sitch

Lan Fan: well wade was totally off

Ling Yao: atta girl

Paninya: wow and here i was thinkin byob meant bug ur own business

Edward Elric: what the utter fuck

Alphonse Elric: Dont act coy u LIVED a bugs life ed

Winry Rockbell: BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE CAPICHE

Winry Rockbell: jesus now ive got the kim possible theme song stuck in my head

Edward Elric: if one of u picks yoshi i will e n d  u

Paninya: no promises n its not our fault yoshi pushed ur fool ass off mushroom gorge that one time

Rebecca Catalina: LMAOOO

Edward Elric: that demonic fucking dinosaur needs to go extinct

Roy Mustang: since brosh doesnt give a shit do we want to make this a floor thing

Ling Yao: i see what ur doing mercedes benz u sneak ass

Roy Mustang: you caught up yao i can finally start trying

Edward Elric: news flash fuckers i got 5 more ppl today u can both suck my ASS

Winry Rockbell: ok but keep it small

Lan Fan: ,,,,,,,

Maria Ross: this is why timing’s important kids

Ling Yao: how much smaller could his butt get

Roy Mustang: are we even be able to locate it

Rebecca Catalina: does ned even have a torso????

Edward Elric: I HOPE U ALL ROT IN HELL

Paninya changed the chat name to eds ass is bigfoot pass it on

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: is it weird that i cant stop smiling at ed

Winry Rockbell: hes sleeping in the chair across from me

Mulan but Better: a bit

Winry Rockbell: yeah

Winry Rockbell: hes such a nerd

Mulan but Better: but hes your nerd

Roy Mustang changed the chat name to WHO TE HFUCKS IDEA WAS IT O MAKE THIS AFLOOR THING

Edward Elric changed the chat name to URS U FUCKING CURLY STRAW

Paninya to wubba lubba dub dub: all of u need to see this Spicy™ video of ed from last night

Winry Rockbell: pan its 9 fucking am

Winry Rockbell: who tf is up that cares

Paninya: o dont u worry winnie the pooh

Lan Fan: yep shes still drunk

Paninya: i think ed will when he stops groaning in the bathroom there

Paninya sent a video in the chat

Paninya: srsly im postin this on ig later

Winry Rockbell: SHIT thats loud

Alphonse Elric: What the fuck is that

Riza Hawkeye: Is

Riza Hawkeye: Is he singing mad world

Paninya: u bet ur blonde ass he is

Lan Fan: was this after we took turns playing yoshi and demolishing him in mario kart

Paninya: u bet ur toned ass it was

Winry Rockbell: paninya i can barely hear anything over u shouting STRIP STRIP STRIP in the bg

Ling Yao: edward really is tone deaf isnt he

Ling Yao: oh hes stopped puking

Ling Yao: hes looking at his phone

Alphonse Elric: Rip in peace our bloodshot eyes

Edward Elric: wHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS IS THAT

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Edward Elric: WHAT THE ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DID U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS DO TO MY PHONE

Ling Yao: HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD

Roy Mustang: dear jesus what is happening

Paninya: oH MY WHICH ONE OF U DID THIS

Paninya: I WILL K I S S U

Mei Chang: there is way too much shouting this goddamn early in the morning

Ling Yao: while u were busy cackling over that video i may or may not have convinced lan fan to steal eds phone

Edward Elric: U ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS BETTER ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIX MY ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS PHONE OR IM ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS

Jean Havoc: hes like an infuriated duck with a lisp

Roy Mustang: siri what is the tiniest species of duck

Edward Elric: U WANNA ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS FIGHT

Paninya: pls tell me one of u hungover fucks is gettin this on video

Mei Chang: lan fan u okay?

Lan Fan: yeah too much shouting i have a headache

Lan Fan: add me back when ed calms down (◕ ‿ ◕✿)

Lan Fan has left the chat

Paninya: hey ed ill bet even yoshi can say fuck

Edward Elric: FOR ALL AROUND ME ARE FAMILIAAAAR FAAAAACEESSS SAKE

Lan Fan to Guns n Roses: hey

Lan Fan: i dont know where you are rn

Lan Fan: im still sort of hungover and i kind of need someone to talk to who isnt going to get angry or

Lan Fan: try and rationalize everything and well

Lan Fan: do you ever just wish that things could change

Lan Fan: that you could be someone entirely different or that you could get out and leave and not give a damn about anything or anyone or

Lan Fan: because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Guns n Roses: Okay i was at work but i’m coming back right now

Guns n Roses: And i’m going to get you tea and you’re going to tell me whatever you want to tell me okay??

Lan Fan: thanks

Paninya to ID SING OH CANADA TOO IF MY PM HAD AN ASS LIKE THAT: ok but for real

Paninya: dicks r like mushrooms

Paninya: little funny gross mushrooms

Rosé Thomas: Paninya you’re high go home

Paninya: oh sweet flower i wish i was

Winry Rockbell: its 4 fucking am GO TO SLEEP

Paninya: time is an illusion

Paninya to TRICKY tricky TRICKY tricky: i crave the sweet release of death

Edward Elric: FUCKING KARMA

Winry Rockbell: i could hear u playing music at 5 am again today why tf have u been up so late

Paninya: my roommate was screaming french at me

Paninya: she has a test today

Paninya: also

Paninya added Lan Fan to the chat

Paninya: LAN FANNNNNNNN

Lan Fan: i didnt do the psych hw paninya

Lan Fan: and run-dmc doesnt deserve this subpar treatment

Alphonse Elric: Lan fan

Alphonse Elric: Lings been looking for u

Lan Fan: i know its ok dont worry about it

Edward Elric: A FUCKING BIRD JUST SHAT ON MY HEAD

Paninya: what was that????? u said???????

Paninya: about karma?????????

Edward Elric: WHAT IS THIS LITERAL SHIT ON ED DAY

Lan Fan: is that not everyday

Edward Elric: I WILL FIGHT ALL U ASSDICKS

Lan Fan: 3/10 edward

Edward Elric: i will fight me for only i myself am the one assdick here thank u amen and goodbye

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: so i hear you were looking for me

Literal Monkey™: that depends

Literal Monkey™: what did i do lan fan

Literal Monkey™: did i say something

Literal Monkey™: tell me what i did that made you so upset at me

Literal Monkey™: if i did something im sorry i really am but you cant just disappear and not even tell me whats wrong

Lan Fan: i know

Lan Fan: it wasnt you i just

Lan Fan: my grandfathers relapse and its been rough with classes lately

Lan Fan: it kind of hit me that i cant always afford to be chill all the time

Lan Fan: sorry ive been mia

Literal Monkey™: well now i feel like a dick

Literal Monkey™: ur my best friend lan fan and i think ive gotten so used to u being near i freak out when ur not

Literal Monkey™: i guess it kind of says something about me that might not be a good thing

Literal Monkey™: especially since i climbed the side of ur house to see if u went back home and u werent there

Lan Fan: you w h a t

Ling Yao to Frying Pan: in hindsight

Ling Yao: i prob shouldnt have told her about the climbing

Ling Yao: shes not talking to me again

Frying Pan: u done fucked up boiii

Ling Yao: so will u tell me whats really wrong with her now

Frying Pan: not a chance boiii

Winry Rockbell to Wannabe Alchemist: hey i know its kind of sudden

Winry Rockbell: and u prob have other things to do

Wannabe Alchemist: nah im free shoot

Winry Rockbell: could u maybe come with me this weekend

Wannabe Alchemist: …are u sure

Wannabe Alchemist: i mean of course ill go hell even if i had a meeting with the goddamn president id skip it to go anywhere with u

Wannabe Alchemist: but i dont want to overstep my right or anything

Winry Rockbell: no ed u could never impose

Winry Rockbell: its just been kind of a shit year

Winry Rockbell: i dont know if i can handle going to visit them alone this time

Wannabe Alchemist: dont worry im there for u

Wannabe Alchemist: whatever u need

Winry Rockbell: i

Winry Rockbell: thanks ed

Wannabe Alchemist: theyd be proud of u win

Winry Rockbell: :)

Winry Rockbell: not to degrade ur sentiment or anything because damn ed u can be sweet

Winry Rockbell: but id do buttfuck anything besides meet with our president

Wannabe Alchemist: i read that as u would butt fuck anything but shit u right

Mei Chang to “3/10 WASNT EVEN THAT BAD” famous last words: paninya was that you outside my school trying to sell taylor swift tshirts

Lan Fan: paninya what the hell

Paninya: ok HS GIRLS EAT TSWIFT UP

Mei Chang: you looked stalkerish as hell my principal was going to call the police

Winry Rockbell: just burn them in a rusty can like the ratchet ho u are

Paninya: what is This Disrespect™ n pls im not gonna burn them that merch cost me lk 984759 bucks

Lan Fan: sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and why tf would u sell them taylor swift is finally getting interesting

Winry Rockbell: yeah shes finally being savage af isnt this what u signed up for

Paninya: hey i signed up for Drama Taylor

Paninya: this is just plain whoring for attention

Alphonse Elric: Not sure those terms are mutually exclusive

Edward Elric: HOLY FUCK

Lan Fan: speaking of whoring for attention

Edward Elric: I GOT MUSTANG TO PLAY LEAGUE

Edward Elric: went straight for brand the dumb fucking pyromaniac

Alphonse Elric: Can i just remind u that ur first time ur jerk ass went right for garen

Edward Elric: GAREN is a PERFECTLY FUCKING GOOD CHAMPION TO GO FOR WHEN UR A NOOB DUMBASS

Alphonse Elric: Sounds fake but ok

Ling Yao: and a bit like neds trying to compensate for something

Edward Elric: U ALL AINT SHIT

Lan Fan: its yaint

Ling Yao: u uncultured fuck

Paninya: k first of all lol is a game for 13 year old prepubescent boys

Lan Fan: so perfect for edward

Edward Elric: DONT FUCKING TRY U KNOW UR A HO FOR AKALI

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,,,dont say 3/10 u know i would rather fucking die

Lan Fan: then perish

Alphonse Elric: Ed did U make that whale noise

Winry Rockbell: the real question here is paninya???? can actually spell???????? words???????? whAT??????

Paninya: SECOND OF ALL any of u want tswift shirts hmu (◡‿◡✿)

Edward Elric: taylor swift is fucking great why the fuck would u sell them

Winry Rockbell: ………..

Alphonse Elric: ……………………

Paninya: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Lan Fan changed the chat name to ill take edward elric is fake Punk Rock™ for 800 alex

Edward Elric: OI U CAN BE PUNK ROCK AND STILL LISTEN TO GUILTY PLEASURE POP

Winry Rockbell: SOUNDS FAKE BUT OK

Rosé Thomas added Mei Chang, Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Roy Mustang, and Riza Hawkeye to Unnamed

Paninya changed the chat name to PROJECT LINGFAN

Paninya: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP

Alphonse Elric: What the hell is lingfan

Paninya: PLS WITHHOLD ALL QUESTIONS TILL THE END OF THE BRIEFING MY PRECIOUS CHILD

Winry Rockbell: she continues??? to spell????? correctly???????? what i am amazed?????????????

Paninya: ROCKBELL FULL OFFENSE STFU

Winry Rockbell: rude

Paninya: SO EVERYONE HERE KNOWS OUR GOOD FRIEND LING YAO AKA SHIFTY AKA MONKEY BOI AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Mei Chang: if i say no can i leave

Paninya: AND EVERYONE ALSO KNOWS MY SPICY GIRL LIGHT OF MY LIFE LAN FAN AKA DEFINITION OF BADASS AKA EDS WORST NIGHTMARE AKA CO-PRES OF THE MARTIAL ARTS/DANCE TROUPE YEA

Edward Elric: she is not my worst fucking nightmare

Mei Chang: so you don’t turn into a stuttering baby every time she brings up 3/10

Edward Elric: U WERENT THERE U DONT FUCKING K N O W

Paninya: AND EVERYONE HERE KNOWS THAT THOSE 2 HAVE THE BIGGEST RAGING BONERS FOR EACH OTHER THAT ANYONES EVER FUCKIN SEEN YEA

Winry Rockbell: i feel like there was a better way of putting that

Edward Elric: wait hold THE FUCK UP ur fucking with me right

Roy Mustang: yes edward

Roy Mustang: she made an entire separate chat and invited all these people just so she could fuck with you

Alphonse Elric: Thats literally what the normal group chat is for wtf ned

Edward Elric: what the UTTER FUCK???? LING AND LAN FAN????????

Rosé Thomas: You were right winry he’s blind

Alphonse Elric: Dude how the hell are u so ignorant

Riza Hawkeye: Edward are you really unaware of this

Edward Elric: HOW DO U ALL KNOW ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK

Roy Mustang: id ask if you saw them at the floor party but i remembered you were too busy practicing for your x factor audition

Paninya: OK ED SINCE UR CLEARLY THE OBLIVIOUSEST FUCKING PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE GODDAMN PLANET

Winry Rockbell: obliviousest

Winry Rockbell: i knew it wouldnt last

Paninya: LET ME JUST HIT U WITH SOME EXAMPLES

Paninya: LAN FAN NEVER BLUSHES UNLESS U MENTION LING TO HER AND THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE C H I L D H O O D

Paninya: WHEN LAN FAN SHATTERED HER ARM IN FRESHMAN YEAR LING CARRIED HER HALFWAY TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL AND SLEPT NEXT TO HER SICKBED FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK SHE WAS THERE

Roy Mustang: he threatened to and i quote ‘key your face’ if you bothered her again

Winry Rockbell: lan fan only shattered her arm that time because some dumbass thugs tried to jump ling in order to threaten his dad

Mei Chang: whenever lan fan doesnt answer him right away he gets all huffy and paces for hours and checks his phone like 500 times until she replies LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES

Paninya: LITERALLY TODAY OK RIZA CAN CONFIRM IM WALKIN TO MEET LAN FAN FOR PSYCH AND I SEE HER PRACTICING A FUCKING KARATE MOVE OR SOME SHIT WITH LING ON THE QUAD

Paninya: SHE STARTS LAUGHING AND I SWEAR ON MY FANTASTIC ASS LING STARES AT HER FOR 10 WHOLE MINS

Paninya: SHES BENDING HIS LEG FARTHER THAN ANY LEG SHOULD BEND AND HES LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHES THE ONLY DAMN THING WORTH KNOWING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKIN UNIVERSE

Paninya: THIS HAS BEEN HAPPENIN FOR YEARS I CANT EVEN WITH THEIR UNNECESSARY ANGST ANYMORE

Paninya: THEY NEED TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER BEFORE I ACTUALLY FUCKIN EXPLODE JFC (╯✿◕益◕)╯︵ ┻━┻

Riza Hawkeye: That is indeed what happened

Rosé Thomas: And that’s why we made this chat

Rosé Thomas: So all of you can experience our pain

Edward Elric: ,,,,,,

Alphonse Elric: Seriously wtf is a lingfan

Mei Chang to pacific rim uprising is the sequel we didnt know we wanted and always needed no one fight me on this: you all know my name is mei right

Paninya: first time im hearin it

Mei Chang: because my calc teacher doesnt

Winry Rockbell: oh god what does he call u

Mei Chang: literally ‘mee’

Edward Elric: RIP IN FUCKING PEACE

Paninya: wot in tarnation

Ling Yao: u mean wot in pronunciation

Mei Chang: mee-eye is okay and mYE sure but MEE

Paninya: dw a teacher called me panYEA once lk??? bless u????

Edward Elric: omfg PETITION TO CALL PANINYA PANYEAH FROM NOW ON

Lan Fan: panno

Winry Rockbell: a teacher called me wine-ry in fifth grade like how in the actual fuck could u mess win-ree up

Edward Elric: maybe bc u were indeed hella whiny

Winry Rockbell: at least she knew i was there u were too smol to see over the table

Alphonse Elric: Better loud than nonexistent

Edward Elric: GTFO AL I WAS FUCKING TALLER THAN U

Paninya: “was”

Mei Chang: in any case i’m done trying to correct him hello yes my name is mee

Ling Yao: and wen it nite

Paninya: wtf r u on ling yao n where can i get some

Winry Rockbell: its another fucking meme i stg lan fan pls control this boy

Lan Fan: the kalc teachre cannt saye it rhite

Ling Yao: vINdICatION

Edward Elric to PROJECT LINGFAN: fuck this they gotta be in love

Winry Rockbell to Mulan but Better: hey theyre selling stroop waffles outside the bio building

Winry Rockbell: i can grab some for u if ur in class

Winry Rockbell: wait is that u in line

Winry Rockbell: are u wearing a lab coat

Winry Rockbell: u ran out of class didnt u

Winry Rockbell: did u not even bother to take off ur goggles u look like a nerdy terminator

Winry Rockbell: how many are u buying holy shit ARE U STUFFING THEM IN UR LABORATORY COAT POCKETS

Winry Rockbell: DID U JUST N A R U T O  R U N OUT OF THE QUAD

Mulan but Better: why are you still asking me you know the answers yes

Roy Mustang to My Queen™: theyre selling stroop waffles right now

My Queen™: Has ling gotten there yet

Roy Mustang: theyre no longer selling stroop waffles right now

Rosé Thomas to 7 excellents and LAN FAN THE WAFFLE TRAITOR: It’s official

Rosé Thomas: Mustang won the bet

Winry Rockbell: wow i forgot that was still going on

Maria Ross: how’s ed taking it

Rosé Thomas: Oh how you would think he’d take it

Paninya: EYYYY EDS GONNA ATTRACT THE CAMPUS POPO AGAIN

Roy Mustang to PROJECT LINGFAN (WHAT IS A LINGFAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALREADY): if ling lost the bet he had to choose

Roy Mustang: either actually outright confess to lan fan or end whatever it is they have

Paninya: Y TF WOULD U GIVE HIM THE SECOND OPTION ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS STOP DANCIN AROUND EACH OTHER N BANG

Alphonse Elric: Paninya its more complicated than that

Paninya: WHAT IN THE 7TH RING OF HELL COULD BE SO COMPLICATED ABOUT THIS

Mei Chang: long story short

Mei Chang: our familys shit deep in politics

Mei Chang: either ling gets in there shit deep too or hes married off

Edward Elric: well fuck

Rosé Thomas: Lan fan knows

Rosé Thomas: When she messaged me after the party i found out that this is why she was so upset

Rosé Thomas: Apparently a drunk ling told her that she should leave him because ‘he’s scared about what would happen if he stopped caring and she deserves better than a coward’

Paninya: well now i feel like shit

Mei Chang: welcome to my world

Mei Chang to Secret Swiftie: remember how you came to my school and almost got arrested

Mei Chang: a couple of girls are asking about your tshirts

Secret Swiftie: call it what u want is a fuckin eargasm I TAKE IT ALL BACK ALL OF IT

Secret Swiftie: I HAVE HEARD AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE A N G E L

Mei Chang: great i’ll tell them you died

Lan Fan to WHOS FAKE PUNK ROCK NOW U FILTHY FUCKING HYPOCRITES P A N I N Y A: has anyone seen my book

Paninya: what book is it

Lan Fan: howard’s end

Alphonse Elric: Forsters great

Winry Rockbell: sorry i havent

Lan Fan: its fine i probably left it in the studio

Ling Yao: oi i was just kicked out of the dining hall what kind of DISRESPECT

Paninya: k but u were eatin all the soup

Ling Yao: is that a crime now

Winry Rockbell: u took the entire pot ling

Lan Fan: you didnt even try to be stealthy about it you just ran back to your seat giggling

Mei Chang: how are they just kicking you out now

Lan Fan: oh they have he climbs back in through the window

Edward Elric: last week u complained the rice wasnt cooked

Ling Yao: have u????? had the rice here??????? itS C R U N C H Y

Edward Elric: jfc lower ur standards ur highness this is college

Lan Fan: you dont pay 70K a year to eat

Paninya: just suck it up lk the rest of us

Winry Rockbell: its either this or starve yao

Ling Yao: :O

Ling Yao changed the chat name to fake friends™

Alphonse Elric to cAn yOU FEeL iT Now mR KRAbs: What the everloving fuck do i have to murder to find out what the shit lingfan is?????¿¿¿¿¿

Lan Fan: …..

Alphonse Elric: Ah

Alphonse Elric: Wrong chat

Paninya: (✿◉‿◉)

Winry Rockbell: AL FOR THE LOV EOF

Winry Rockbell kicked Lan Fan from the chat

Winry Rockbell kicked Ling Yao from the chat

Mei Chang: you know they can still see previous messages

Edward Elric: fuckkkkkk

Paninya: well first time not directin this at edward

Paninya: duuuuuude u fucked up

Panko to Lan Fan: hey i saved u a seat in psych but u didnt look over

Panko: is this about kickin u out of the squad chat

Lan Fan: do they all know

Panko: uh kno what

Lan Fan: does everyone know paninya

Panko: if i answer will u promise not to disappear again

Panko: no one told anyone else about it if thats what ur angry about we all figured it out by ourselves

Panko: well except for ed but that boi is dumb af

Panko: n im not sayin u guys were obvious or anything it took a while until we saw it

Lan Fan: i think im going to go back to my grandfathers for the weekend

Panko: pls dont drop off the face of the earth again

Lan Fan: i wont i was going to go back anyway and space is good

Panko: ur not the only one in this lan fan

Panko: no matter how much u wont see it

Lan Fan: (◠‿◠✿)

Winry Rockbell to PROJECT LINGFAN (ALPHONSE ELRIC DONE FUCKED UP YALL): so lan fans gone

Winry Rockbell: when did u say ling had to make a choice mustang

Roy Mustang: i didnt??

Edward Elric: u said he had to make a decision and DIDNT GIVE HIM A SHITDAMN DEADLINE

Edward Elric: ITS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN NOW HONDA

Paninya: well thats just great chevrolet

Riza Hawkeye: You really didnt think this through bmw

Roy Mustang: wow at least i didnt blow our cover

Alphonse Elric: Dont throw me under the bus with u toyota at least im repentant

Paninya: alright well now that lamborgini royally fucked up

Winry Rockbell: “lamborgini”

Winry Rockbell: so close

Edward Elric: so what the fuck is gonna happen now

Winry Rockbell: ok mei can talk to ling bc she lives with him

Mei Chang: unfortunately

Rosé Thomas: I don’t know if lan fan will be willing to talk

Rosé Thomas: She used an emoji again

Mei Chang: actually i’ll talk to her someone else tackle my brother

Paninya: idk how to speak fuccboi language one of the guys gotta do it

Winry Rockbell: after roy and als fuckups who else can we choose

Edward Elric: RUDE

Roy Mustang: sit down you didnt even know they were a thing

Edward Elric: MAYBE BC I DONT POKE MY FUCKING NOSE INTO OTHER PPLS BUSINESS

Alphonse Elric: Well ofc u physically cant ned

Winry Rockbell: can u even see other ppl without platform shoes

Mei Chang: or a ladder

Edward Elric: UR FUCKING SHORTER THAN ME JFC

Paninya to milk: hate it, shouting: always, music taste: shite = I AM FORCIBLY SHUT INTO THE BODY OF A SIX YEAR OLD: RIZA TOLD ME THERE IS A PETTING ZOO 3 MILES AWAY YALL MEET AT MY CAR IN 5

Edward Elric: we’re already fucking here

Ling Yao: lol weve been here for an hour

Alphonse Elric: Mustangs been holding a komodo dragon for approx half that time

Mei Chang: winry drove us and there are llamas

Winry Rockbell: i am surrounded by puppies rn am i dead

Paninya: bitch u r to me im writin u all out of my will CLEARLY ALL MY M8S ARE SHIT

Ling Yao to Sister Mine: mei

Ling Yao: meiiiiiii

Sister Mine: i’m literally right next to you what

Ling Yao: have u ever seen lan fan with her hair down

Sister Mine: once during the floor party you all snuck me into

Sister Mine: why do you ask

Ling Yao: her hair tie broke a few days ago and she was fussing with it and i couldnt breathe

Sister Mine: when her hair is down??

Ling Yao: up, down, soaking, gone

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away, mei

Ling Yao: she takes my breath away no matter what she does, or say, or looks like and i am a coward

Sister Mine: you may be right

Ling Yao: are you ashamed of me?

Sister Mine: that depends

Sister Mine: what do you plan to do about it

Lan Fan to Literal Monkey™: hey i know its 5 am and youre probably not even awake and this is probably useless anyway considering ive been transparent as all hell

Lan Fan: but i dont think sleep is an option until i tell you

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous

Lan Fan: youre ridiculous and full of it and infuriating and reckless and beautiful and just so so idiotic

Lan Fan: id have to be too i guess

Lan Fan: to be in love with you even after all of it

Lan Fan: and i really am just that

Lan Fan: idiotic and in love with you

Literal Monkey™: thanks

Lan Fan: did you just breakfast at tiffanys me

Literal Monkey™: yes because you would understand it

Literal Monkey™: you understand lan fan

Literal Monkey™: every shitty meme or reference or word i say you’ll always always understand

Literal Monkey™: just like how you understand that im all those things you said i was

Literal Monkey™: im reckless and infuriating and indecisive and greedy and far too ridiculous to deserve you and you understand that

Literal Monkey™: and if youre idiotic for being in love with me then im a hundred times more and you understand why too

Lan Fan: i think you have too much faith in me

Literal Monkey™: i think you have too little

Literal Monkey™: come to your window

Lan Fan: what why

Literal Monkey™: because its hard to type when im barely holding onto your window frame and looking like a hero straight out of an austen novel and honestly id rather told you how much im in love with you in person

Literal Monkey™: convention and all that

Lan Fan: well alright then

Paninya changed the chat name to IT FINALLY FUCKING HAPPENED LADS LINGFAN IS REAL FUCKING CHRIST NO MORE ANGST I AM LIBERATEDDDD

Alphonse Elric: Great so can someone pls explain wtf a lingfan is now

Edward Elric: Read at 8:09 AM

FULL VERSION AND CONTINUATION HERE

#this was way too long even for a read more #whoops #hey i wrote a thing #also on AO3 #fanfiction #social media au #fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood #fma #edward elric #winry rockbell #ling yao #lan fan #lingfan #edwin #roy mustang #riza hawkeye #paninya #rose thomas #alphonse elric #mei chang #READ THE FULL VERSION USING THE LINK IF U WANT #my writing #IT HAS MORE EDWIN #quiet chelle #chatfic #lingfan is the otp i am not sorry

[deadgwen]

IT IS A HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST GOAT

@fucshias  @jiilys  MY LOVE GOATY. MY MOST BEAUTIFUL GOAT. MY SUN. MY STARS. MY BEAUTIFUL HOOVED CREATURE OF GOD. I HAVE ARRIVED TO SAY SOME IMPORTANT THINGS BUT FIRSTLY I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU U R READING THIS POST RIGHT NOW DUE TO A VERY IMPORTANT REASON AND THIS IMPORTANT REASON IS THAT

*CHOKES BACK TEARS*

IT IS UR BIRTHDAY.

*SCREAMING*

OK OKI DOKI BEFORE I START: I AM NOT ACTUALLY HERE BUT DO NOT BE D I S E N H E AR T E N E D BC I JUST DONT HAVE WIFI BUT I PROMISE U SOMEWHERE OUT THERE I AM SULKING AND FIGHTING A WALL AND ALSO SETTING OFF FIREWORKS BC !!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS UR FUCKING DAY AND IM SORRY I COULD NOT WISH U BUT I LOVE U SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH I AM HERE W/ U IN SPIRIT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT TURN THE FUCK UP HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U UR EXCELLENT AND I LOVE YOU AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK BINCH HOW ARE U SEVENTEEN TODAY U ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT U KNOW WHO) WHO ALLOWED U TO BE LIKE THIS AND ALSO I LOVE YOU. AND ALSO I CANT BELIEVE UVE DONE THIS. UR LITERALLY SEVENTEEN TODAY I AM NOT ALRIGHT AND I NEED U TO HOLD ME BECAUSE I AM GOING TO COME OVER AND FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF BEING A DRAMATIC BITCH I WILL FAINT IN UR ARMS I AM 100% NOT ALRIGHT

like,,,, HONESTLY u are so. fucking. great. WHERE DO I EVEN START. 

FIRST AND FOREMOST I WANNA SAY I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THIS FOR UR BDAY I LOVE YOU GOATY I AM SO PUMPED THAT UR SO OLD ITS RIDICULOUS @ ME FUCK OFF ALRIGHT BUT. JUST. I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY U GOAT UR BEYOND INCREDIBLE

UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN UR YOUNG AND SWEET. ONLY. *SMASHES OPEN MY WINDOW AT 12 MIDNIGHT* SEVENTEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

SO OH MY GOD. I AM CURRENTLY YELLING BECAUSE??????????? LIKE???????????????? YOU'RE SEVENTEEN??????? HOW DID WE EVEN COME TO THIS POINT ITS INSANE LIKE HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SEVENTEEN WE'RE ALL JUST STILL TINY SMOLS WHERE ARE U GOING WHY ARE U GROWING OLDER STOP IT PLS ALRITE I DO NOT LIKE. MY PRECIOUS GOAT SUNSHINE WHO IS A PROFESSIONAL PAJAMA CONSULTANT A REAL SOLID BUSINESSWOMAN WHO DRIVES AND SHIT AND COULD PROBABLY RUN ME OVER AND IS 6'3 SO IF U WOULD SIT ON ME I WOULD MOST CERTAINLY DIE UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN AND I AM CRYING

but in all seriousness I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU i am FOREVER AND EVER glad that i met u LIKE I FUCKIN HATE U GODMDAN FUCKIBG GOAT MAKING ME REBLOG THIGNS FUCK YUO FUCK O FF but like????? apart from that UR FUCKING BEYOND FABULOUS and i have decided to compile a list of reasons why u are unbelievably great and have earned ur title of being a dancing queen/brilliant goat/actual love of my life. bc u are excellent. AND IT MUST BE WRITTEN OUT HERE SOMEWHERE THAT I LOVE YOU. 

OK OK OK SO HERE WE GO BINCHES. PREPARE URSELF. THIS IS GONNA BE SUPER LENGTHY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU A LOT AND I AM GONNA DO A 'ON THE JELLICOE ROAD' WORTHY REVIEW OF U BUT LIKE A SHITTIER VERSION SO U BETTER FUNKIN BUCKLE UP BITCH

LEZGO:

IS OBVIOSULY FABULOUS

IS A REAL LIFE GIRAFFE 

WE ARE BLESSED TO HAVE ONE ROAM OUT OF CAPTIVITY LIKE............. WE ARE STRONGLY BLESSED

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH

CLAIMS TO HAVE 'barely any leg but a huge torso' and interpret this how u want bUT i just wanna say u r the most fucked up giraffe ever ok what the fuck WHO HURT YOU

apparently dis binch owns a bunny AND NEVER TOLD ME SHE DID

owns a problematic rabbit bc it pees everywhere

said problematic rabbit likes to pee everywhere so much its ridiculous it has no respect for the value of items of modern society and thus in my opinion should be sent to COURT

@ rabbit U NASTY OK PLS GET UR PRIORITIES SORTED???? THIS HAS BEEN A MOTHERFUCKING PSA THANK U (CAROLINE I AM TRUSTING YOU TO SHOW THIS ON UR PHONE TO THE GODDAMN BUNNY I NEED IT TO KNOW)

is 100% excellent at looking after drunk people ALRITE literally THIS WOMAN IS A SAINT who has saved REAL LIVES tbh where would that poor child from your old intermediate be if u hadn't SAVED HIS ENTIRE LIFE from all that tequila he would DEAD thats fuKCIN RIGHT U DESERVE ALL THE MEDALS A TRUE HERO AMONG NEW ZEALANDERS. A NATIONAL ICON. SO BRAVE I AM SO PROUD I LOVE YOU ALWAYS

AND ALSO PULLING DRUNK MAKING OUT PEOPLE OFF EACH OTHER I JUST WANT U TO KNOW THAT UR EFFORTS ARE SO VERY RECOGNIZED BECAUSE ONE TIME I DID THAT AND I GOT PUNCHED IN THE THROAT I THOUGHT I DIED BECAUSE I SAW JESUS BUT IT WASNT ACTUALLY JESUS IT WAS JUST A POSTER TAPED TO A FRIDGE I WAS SCAMMED

her own mum has called the police on her and was 100% ready for some quality fun family jailtime

ALSO ONE TIME GOATY ACCIDENTALLY FUCKED UP SOMEONES REAR MIRROR AND THE VICTIMS OF THE INCIDENT DID NOT GIVE HALF A FUCK HOWEVER, HER MOTHER GOATY REPORTED SEVERAL FUCKS TO THE POLICE AND FILED AN ACCIDENT REPORT AND THAT WAS THE DAY MY GOATY BECAME A DARK CRIMINAL

*OMINOUS MUSIC*

I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE DAY I WALK MY BUTT INTO COURT AGAINST UR MUM COVERED HEAD TO ASS IN $3 PLASTIC BRACELETS BACKED BY UR UNEXPECTEDLY KLEPTOMANIAC SISTER AND A BASKET OF STOLEN WOMANS DAYS AND ALONG WITH BLING BLING JIMMY WE WILL RESTORE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND LACK OF CONSCIENCE ON THIS LOVELY EARTH

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ENOUGHT ABOUT UR MUM LIKE ACTUALLY ALL UR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF WILD AND..... I AM AFRAID

OK OK IT MUST BE SAID CAROLINE HAS THE MOST AMAIZNG VOICE ????? EVER

like i love her voice sm SO FUCKING MUCH I TELL U i have never heard anything like it and i want caroline to like read me books for hours AND HOURS AND NARRATE MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE because i love how unusually deep and shadowy her voice sounds like deep flowing river water or smth like i LOVE IT SO MUCH it. Is.So. Strange BUT I LOVE IT IT IS THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING THROW A BUCKET AT ME I LOVE YOU

HAS A VIDEO OF HERSELF DOING THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE AND I KNOW I HAVE PRAISED IT FOR TWO YEARS IN A ROW ALREADY LIKE @ ME PLZ CHILL BUT i will not i will NEVER it is solid entertainment a+++ QUALITY I AM LAUGHIGN IM LAUGHING I AM LAUGHING FOREVER those beautiful hops of pain across ur backyard ARE THE LAST THINGS I WANT TO SEE BEFORE GOD TAKES ME FROM THIS EARTH

WRONGFULLY FRAMED ME FOR HAVING SHIT DICK TENDENCIES AND THEN YELLED AT ME AND CALLED ME A GARAGE WHAT A BINCH I AM IN LOVE

loves yellow flowers AND ALL THE FLOWERS AND HEAVY ROSES AND IS A FULL OUT FLOWER HOE

IS DESPICABLE TEEN WOLF GARBAGE LIKE.... ive been scrolling through our fanmails AND MY HEART HUR T S G O A T Y hOld mE we were sO Y O U N  G and like no lie i shit u not 80% oF THE FUCKING MESSAGES ARE U YELLING 'STYDIA IS GONNA HAPPEN THIS SEASON' AND 'OH MY GOD DID U SEE THAT STYDIA SCENE' AND DECLARATIONS OF LOVE FOR LYDIA MARTIN AND THE OTHER 20% IS U ASKIN ME IF IVE SEEN THE NEW TEEN WOLF I LOVE IT I LOVE YOU I AM SORRY TEEN WOLF KEEPS DISAPPOINTING US BOTH BUT STDYIA IS. DEFINIETELY. GONNA. HAPPEN. THIS. SEASON. IT HAS TO OR I WILL FUKIN FITE ALRIGHT GIVE US STYDIA OR GIVE US DEATH I LOVE UR TEEN WOLF LOVIBG ASS

anyway caroline is an utterly excellent person

if u were an ncea paper i would grade u with excellence

*FINGER GUNS*

like ?????deals with my stupid yelling ALL THE TIME

whenever i had a problem and went to my goaty she was so very understanding and patient AND DID NOT CALL ME A DUMBASS WHEN I DESERVED TO BE DECKED

TOLD ME THE TRU DEFINTION OF THE PHRASE 'SHOT'

TWO YEARS OF UTTER CONFUSION. ERASED FROM MY LIFE. PERMANENTLY.

MY SKIN?? CLEARED . MY FUTURE BILLS ??? PAID MY HUSBAND MARRIED MY STATUE FOR CAROLINE FULLY ERECTED

ok but like i can never say this enough goaty IS SO NICE TO TALK TO PLETAHE TALK TO ME FORVER SHE IS FABULOUS??? it blows my mind constantly that someone this incredible and special walks along this earth NONE OF US DESERVE THE GOAT

also ???? WHAT IN THE FUCK HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED THIS YET CAROLINE IS THE BEST WRITER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE SHE IS SO TALENTED EVERY TIME I READ ONE OF HER FICS I END UP THINKING ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS FOR 958495894 YEARS ALRIGHT THEY FUCK ME UP THEY WAY SHE HANDLES WORDS FUCKS ME UP HOW CAN YOUT TAKE FUCKING LETTERS AND THEN SHOVE THEM UP MY ASS LIKE THIS I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I am Not Strong Enough For This

i am not even kidding ok THE WAY U HANDLE WORDS IS IN.FUCKING.CREDIBLE whenever u use them its like?? u turned them into something precious and all your writing have this feel to it like as if im holding a delicate bouqet of a thousand yellow flowers like im holding a butterfly in my hands like im holding a box of eggs and i am scared shitless to drop it bC MY DAD WILL PERSONALLY CRUCIFY ME

I AM AWFUL AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT I HOPE U SEE WHAT I MEAN. LIKE. IT IS SO *SCREAMS* MINBLOWING DECK ME WITH ALL UR WORDS EVER

I AM ONE HUNDRED FUCKING PERCENT NEVER OKAY WITH ANYTHING YOU WRITE IT HURTS SO GOOD AND I LOVE IT

ok ok this hoe right here has written THREE fics with a dedication for me at the beginning and like.............. ..... do u ever just cri

i have 'the glorious everywhere' printed out and FUCKING PINNED TO MY WALL WHERE I CAN SEE IT FROM ALL CORNERS OF MY ROOM ALWAYS back in my apartment in russia like it is legitimately the best thing. i love everything about this piece it should be adapted into a novel or a short film like PULL SOME FIFTY SHADES OF GREY SHIT W/ IT OK the imagery and REALNESS of this fic gets to me all the time and im crying im crying im crying I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT PLS @ CAROLINE WHY ARE U SO TALENT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT FUCKIG I THINK ABOUT THIS FIC EVERY SINGLE DAY WHEN I WAKE UP FUCKING LOOK ' You see her hair dripping down her head and spinning out over the seats in the back and lighting them on fire. You see her pale skin and electric veins as she puts her hand out the window and tries to catch the sky and stuff it up her sleeve. You hear her voice, “Just drive James, you’ll know where we’re going when we get there.”  

REALLY I AM NOT FUCKIGN Okay CALL AN AMBULANCE CALL IT NOW I AM UNWELL I AM SICK I AM DYING FUK ME RITE UP

i am fully convinced this is the greatest thing thats ever been written.like. How. the. FUCK. tbh i want this paragraph ENTIRELY TATTOOED ON MY ASS I AM ZCRYING @ CAROLINE YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRAIN AND I AM SO VERY GLAD THAT IT EXISTS

i will not go into depth abt yelling about ur fics bc tbh i think u Know but I JUST WANNA SAY 'oh darling i have coloured blood (that i stole from you)' is the most iconic piece of literature to this day ever the and i zcri all the time because you are a goddamn bloody genius and you shine in colours beyond my comprehension and i love you so so so incredibly much

MY LOVE IS SO FUCKING TALENTED I AM YELLING I AM YELLING I AM YELLING

DOESN'T EAT FRIED SPERM

writes the BEST emails in history

UR SO LOVELY U GIVE ME SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SPELLING ERRORS FOR ME TO WHOLEHEARTEDLY ENJOY I AM GIGGLING *GIGGLES* IT BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY WHEN U FUCK THINGS UP

tbh it is how fried chair came to life like it was actually in one of your first fanmails to me u said that two years ago and to this day it remains the Most Iconic Thing Ever

STRONG SUPPORTER OF WEETBIX

LOVES WEETBIX

FOUGHT TIGERS AND LIONS FOR HER FAMILY AND WAS SAVED BY WEETBIX AND WEETBIX ALONE 

ACTUALLY HAD A THING CALLED ‘WEETBIX DISCOURSE’ ON HER BLOG LIKE IT WAS ACTUALLY A THING THAT HAPPENED A REAL THING THAT OCCURED AND WAS PASSIONATELY ARGUED ABOUT AND I HAVE SEEN THINGS THAT CANNOT BE UNSEEN

RIGHTFULLY SO BC WEETBIX >>>>> JONAH GRIGGS I AM SORRY IT IS THE RULES

FUCK THE H8RS

like ??? is hilarious af QUEEN OF HUMOUR AND MAKING ME SNORT MY GODDAMN CHOCLATE MILK LIKE CAN U NOT BE SO EXCEPTIONAL U HO HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION U LIL BITCH but YES a++ top notch QUALITY storytelling skills in both fic writing and tequila struggles I APPRECIATE IT TO DEATH

ok ok ok also the most beautiful person ever??? LIKE ???????????????? BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ??????????????????????????????????????????????? WHO ALLOWED U

THE MOST PERFECT HAIR. ur hair is like waves of a golden ocean cascading from ur hEAD AND IT IS SO MAGICALLY FITTING B/C U R AN ETHEREAL BEING AND THE FACT THAT U HAVE AN ENTIRE WILD SEA RAGING ON UR HEAD JUST PROVES TO ME THAT U ARE A GOD AMONG MORTALS. UR HAIR IS SO PRETTY OK OK OKAY FUCK ME UP. STRAIGHT UP GORGEOUS. SO SOFT TOO AND SO SHINY AND IT FITS U SO WELL I AM FOREVER SCREAMING

THE MOST ANGEL FACE. GOATYS FACE LOOKS LIKE GOD OR WHOEVER THE FUCK WAS RESPONSIBLE CARVED IT OUT OF ROSE PETALS AND MARBLE LIKE. IT. IS. TRULY. THE MOST GORGEOUS THING ur face is softer than clouds tbh AND UR SMILE SAVES MY LIFE ITS BRIGHTER THAN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE CONDENSED AND SOMETIMES WHEN I SEE UR SELFIES I HAVE TO GO GET LASER EYE SURGERY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN B L I N D E D

U R SO UNCONSIDERATE TO MY FRAGILE HEALTH HOW DARE YOU

SO. GODDAMN GORGEOUS SLAY MY ENTIRE LIFE I BEG U ID PAY U TO SIT ON ME WITH UR HUGE BONES AND SLOWLY CRUSH ME INTO AN ENDLESS DEATH I HAVE $4 LEFT OVER FROM MY LIFE SAVINGS DO IT BAE

has the best taste in music omg WHAT A BLESSING WE LIKE THE SAME SONGS AND IT ACTUALLY KIND OF SCARES ME B/C IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE THE SAME PERSON AND THIS DOES NOT HELP MY CONSTANT STATE OF EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

HAS THE BEST TASTE IN BOOKS and adores skam as much as i do AND LOVES CHRIS/EVA AS MUCH AS IDO AND WROTE A FIC FOR THEM AND THE SNIPPET FROM IT ????? MY SOUL. GONE.

so tol and will never stop accusing me of being smol but listen up aight. imma FUCK YOU UP. REAL GOOD. ONE DAY. WHEN I CAN AFFORD TO BUY A LADDER. UNTIL THEN SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BINCH BC I AM COMING TO GET U

and is also the smartiest smart to ever smart LOOK AT MY U GO WITH UR EXCELLENCE ENDORSEMENT when i buy that ladder I WILL CLIMB IT AND HOVER AROUND UR HEAD LOTS SO I CAN ABSORB UR POWERS AND ALSO BREATHE THE FRESH AIR UP THERE WHICH IS NOT AVAILABLE TO GROUNDED PEASANTS SUCH AS ME

AND IS THE BEST COOKIE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LIKE IF THIS ISNT ENOUGH TO CONVINCE ANYONE THAT CAROLINE IS BEYOND EXCEPTIONAL FOR OUR GALAXY THEN THEY CAN FUCK OFF PLS OK

like honestly,,, MY LOVE I COULD GO ON FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND CENTURIES UNTIL MY TEETH FALL OUT AND I GROW SENILE WITH MY LOVE BUT THE POINT OF THIS HOT STEAMING LAME MESS IS THAT I LOVE YOU TO BLOODY PIECES UR SO F U C K I N G INCREDIBLE I AM SO GLAD I MET YOU AND THAT YOU TAlk TO ME AND WE EMAIL EACH OTHER AND I AM BLESSED THAT YOU EVEN THINK OF ME AND THAT FREID CHAIR LOVES ME AND THAT U R MY GOAT BC UR MY ONLY GOAT AND UR THE BEST ONE THERE IS NO SHADE @ ALL OTHER GOATS BUT LIKE. IM SORRY I CANNOT TELL A LIE

IT IS THE COLD HARD TRUTH. 

and like??? i did a /search/deadgwen ON @jiilys BC I WANTED TO LOOK AT ALL OUR OLD STUFFS FROM 2015 and I Regret it I Regret it So Much theres a selfie from like when i was 14 and an idiot still on Ur blog and I look like an actual tragedy I Want to Die  we have known each other for so long its RIDICULOUS UR STILL AS AMAZING AS U WERE BACK THEN AND I AM MORE OR LESS CURED OF MY CONDITION OF BEING AN EMBARASSING DIPSHIT AND ITS CRAZY HOW MUCH YOUNGER WE WERE THEN LIKE UM WTF BUT UR STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AND 9384930X TIMES MORE AND I STILL LOVE U BC UR PERFECT AS EVER AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS

NOW. I WAS GONNA MAKE YOU A PRESENT LIKE I REALLY DID BAE I TRIED SO MUCH SHIT ITS HORRIBLE BC LIKE ??? I WANTED TO MAKE YOU A PRESENTATION ON UR GOAT SUPERIORTY LIKE I DID LAST YEAR EXCEPT Like i am a fucking asshole™(COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE MAN TEH MYTH THE LEGEND) who cannot do shit FOR SHIT it turned out so Awful and i cANNOT GRAPHIC BABE I TRIED TO MAKE YOU THIS EDIT AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS Bad AND FOUGHT MYSELF FOR SIX HOURS AND I CANNOT WRITE AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE GIFTS EVER BUT I AM TRULY AWFUL

*ZCRIES*

I KNOW IM  LAME AND MY ONLY TALENT IS YELLING FOR HOURS ON END I WISH I COULD HAVE MADE YOU SOMETHING REALLY COOL BC ITS UR SEVENTEETH AND 17 IS THE BEST NUMBER AND UR LOVELY AND I LOVE YOU SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME BAE FOR BEING AN ACTUAL GARAGE ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE EXPERIENCE) SHIT DICK 100% TERRIBLE DICKFLUTE OKAY I LOVE YOU AND I CAN NEVER IMAGINE WHAT I WOULD BE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD YEAR LIKE FUCK SHIT UP BAE UR GONNA BE IN YEAR 13 ITS ALL GONNA BE SO AWFUL AND WE WILL ALL DIE aND WERE SO O L D JESUS CHRIST IF HEART ATTACKS DONT TAKE US OUT NCEA LEVEL 3 WILL BUT I HOPE THIS WILL BE A SUPER GOOD YEAR FOR U IN REGARDS OF EVERYTHING BECAUSE U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT I HOPE THINGS WILL LEAD UP TO U GETTING THAT APARTMENT IN NEW YORK AND ALL THE HIGH HEELS THAT U WILL WEAR AND ALL THE YELLOW FLOWERS THAT U WILL BUY AND UR CAREER AS A LIFECHANGING LITERARY GENIUS OK OK I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE

ok ok ok but. 

ONE MORE THING.

LISTEN.

THE FUCKING

*CLECNHES JAW*

REBLOG FIASCO

*FLINGS MY ASS INTO THE SUN*

WHEN IT IS GOOD AND DAYLIGHT. U HAVE UNTIL THEN. LIKE I KNOW THIS IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH AND I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OFF HWO COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU I FUCKING FUCK JUST FUCK YOU FUCKING DICK i will RIOT 

OKAY BABE ITS MIDNIGHT AND ILL BE UP IN ABOUT SIX HOURS AND LIKE. ANYTHING. ANYTHING ELSE FOR UR BIRTHDAY WISH OK BABE IM GONNA FUCKING DIE THIS IS IT THIS THE END I WILL GO DOWN SWEARING PROFUSELY WITH A HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND U WILL BE WATCHING AND LAUGHI G ANF @OFFICALTALL FUCK YU FUCKDUCKUD CUDCKUD DNUSJNDJF FUCK U @GOATY FUCK. UFCN WHERE IS UR HOOF WHY ARE U NOT FEELIN THE TEMPERATURE ITS EBOLA ITS GOATBOLA I WONT MAKE IT UNTIL DAWN I WONT SEE THE SUNLIGHT GOATY I CANT *FAKE CRYING SOUNDS* I WILL DIE. IT WILL HAPPEN. AND I WANT IT TO BE KNOWN THAT U ARE THE BITCH THAT KILLED ME. *MORE FAKE ZCRYING SOUNDS* I MUST SEND MESSAGES TO ALL MY DEAREST KIND FRIENDS WHO HAVE NEVER FUCKED ME LIKE THIS ALRIGHT *FAKE COUGHING* TELL THEM THAT I *MORE FAKE COUGHOGN* LOVE THEM *THROWS KETCHUP PACKET EVERYWHERE WHILE UR NOT LOOKING AND BUSY BEING WORRIED ABOUT MY HEALTH* AND I WILL REMEMBER THEM EVEN IN DEATH

ANYWAY HERE IS MY WILL:

WHAT U GET:

nothing

u get nothing

bINCH

zero. zip. nada

0 potato 4 u

U CAN HAVE THE SALT FROM MY KITCHEN SO U WILL BE PERPETUALLY REMINDED OF MY LAST EMOTIONS TOWARDS THIS LIFE

maybe like the one half a potato that was randomly in my drIVEWAY THAT ONE TIME 

M A Y B E

WHAT GOOD KIND LOVING FRIENDS, SUCH AS MILS AND FRIED CHAIR AND ELLIE AND OTHER ASSORTED PEOPLES WHICH I SHALL ADDRESS IN CLAUSE 4.20 OF THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF MY WILL, GET:

actually mils is a hoe and can choke but u r the evil here rn aND FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS ARGUMENT WE WILL PRETEND THAT I LIKE MILS

ANYWAY. REALLY GOOD THINGS I OWN

I HAVE SOME SOCKS I DONT WANT U GUYS CAN HAVE THEM

AND LIKE

MY DUVET

SEE GOATY THESE ARE THE KIND OF HEART TOUCHING POST DEATH GIFTS U MISS OUT ON WHEN U MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD

ALSO NO TOUCHING MY MANGOES THAT I BOUGHT TWO DAYS AGO BECAUSE I STILL WANT TO EAT THEM AND IF ANYONE EVEN BREATHES IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION I WILL BEAT THEM UNCONSCIOUS WITH A TELEPHONE THIS IS A T H R E A T

I HOPE UR TAKING NOTES AND I HOPE U FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING A 6′3 KILLER BECAUSE UR AN ASSHOLE ™LIKE UR ASSHOLIER™ THAN THE REAL ASSHOLE THAT IS JONAH GRIGGS™ THE LABEL™ (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS™ THE ANT MURDERING HOT PIECE OF ASS™) BUT I WILL DIE FOR U MY GOAT *strokes ur pretty face* BC IT IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH FOR ME TO SUFFER AND I LOVE YOU AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR U THEREFORE . DESPITE THIS SICKNESS *FLAILS* I. WILL. BE. BRAVE. I WILL REBLOG THOSE TWENTY POSTS I WILL FLATLINE BY THE THIRD POST AND MY BLOOD WILL BE ON UR HANDS *CAREFULLY ARRANGES MY STUNT GOAT IN POSITION* AND I WILL BE YELLING CURSES AT YOU IN THE TAGS BUT I WILL DIE IN THE NAME OF HONOUR I WILL GO DOWN AS A GOAT NEVER HAS BEFORE 

BUT LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND I I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC I AM SO HAPPY U EXIST. HAVE THE BOMBEST ASS 17TH BIRTHDAY BABE I HOPE UR PARTY IS LIT AND HAVE FUN GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING ALL THE BANTS AND LAFFS AND ALSO I WILL SEND U THE AWAITED EMAIL IN A FEW HOURS WHEN MY INTERENT IS BACK ON  BECAUSE IT IS A CONTINUATION OF THIS BULLSHIT WITH SOME STRUCTURED DISCUSSION AKA WHAT THE FUCK DO U HAVE AGAINST SMIRNOFF ICE how is it not HARDCORE enough for u IT IS LITERALLY FLAVOURED VODKA DOES IT NOT KNOCK OUT UR 6′3 ASS OR WHAT EXCUSE ME 

ANYWAY IN CONCLUSION.

HAPPY. SEVENTEENTH. BIRTHDAY. MY. CHUM.

*BLOWS U A KISS*

*PUTS ON TWO FÜR COATS TO REMAIN UNDETECTED* 

*STEALS ALL UR WEETBIX AND RUNS AWAY TO ALASKA NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN*

*still replies ur emails tho cuz i love u bitch y u do dis to me*

#I LOVE YOU SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT MY POINT STANDS #ALSO SORRY FOR THE SHITTINESS AND IF SOMETHING LOOKS WEIRD BC I EDITED IT SO MANY TIMES IT IS PORBABLY MOST DEFINITELY FUCKED UP SOMEHWERE #@ MYSELF I DONT TRUST U #fucshias #jiilys #I LOVE U BAE HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY HAPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY #*SINGS* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #my BIG GOAT UR 17 NOW I AM ZCRYING RN I SWEAR I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY

[unicyclehippo]

Hi Pal, if you dont mind me asking, how do you deal with depression? I think I read a while ago that you deal with it, if not I apologize. I have it and I am not doing a good job managing it.

im not sure how much i can help, im not a doc of any kind & haven’t even had any experience w getting help myself but i have been doing better so i can just tell u stuff that helped & maybe that’ll help u a bit ?

i have no idea where to start. i guess,,, for me it was abt small victories bc the big goals seemed so daunting & horrible & looming yknow & i felt like they were totally insurmountable & had no idea how to get there & claim the big victories. & it felt so much like they were actually rly small things i shouldn’t have been freaked out abt - that normal ppl wouldn’t freak out abt - but i was. only at the same time it absolutely felt like i was just being lazy & i couldn’t be sure whether i was lazy or selectively lazy protecting myself by not even trying to attempt these very big small scary things like getting a job & being a better person

but i started latching onto these small victories & rly going to town on them like i did this course that gave me a library qualification & i smashed that out i did my best & it wasn’t exactly what i wanted to do but it was a direction & prior to that i had exactly zero direction & it felt rly good to do smth. bc when i don’t do stuff i get into my head too much & i felt very boring & low & lowkey parasitic yknow ?? & i got a job, which wasn’t The Best Job in the world which is what i had felt like i needed to get or do exactly the right job for me, but the job was a job & a Good job & it is smth im hanging onto. & decisions are still rly hard for me but im trying to start to plan stuff so i don’t rly freak out again & not do anything at all.

i got some friends who were willing to be very honest v me & start rly talking abt stuff like bc friendship is give & take & when u have depression it feels all the time like ur the one taking & it can rly twist stuff up inside yknow Shame & Guilt are ur two best buddies. but that’s smth to fight (& keep fighting bc it’s as easy as pie to slip back into not talking abt stuff i mean all u gotta do is close ur mouth?? it’s so easy to be inactive but sometimes the right thing is Hard but it’s good not all the way through maybe it feels shitty but it is Good). so for that one u gotta be lucky or brave to make good friends but it’s smth to do w ur family & ur therapist or doc if u have one bc that’s how we get help. tell ur ppl when ur having a hard time. tell them why, tell them what u think might make it easier. this is rly hard for me & smth im still working on but i think it’s rly important

smth important is to stop harming urself. this includes a whole array of stuff i don’t wanna get into but whatever it is, stop. it’s an easy thing to say & it’s a suck fest doing it but u gotta. i know stuff doesn’t work all the time but u gotta try anything that might help so like i knew someone who wrote reminders wherever they wanted to hurt like MINE & EXCEPTIONAL on their legs & stuff & i know ppl who have affirmations & i know ppl who listen to certain music to distract them & some ppl drag it all out onto paper. there are sites w anonymous chats & stupid videos in youtube. whatever it is, u gotta look after ur body. harming hurts (big surprise!!!) in whatever way it’s done & it brings a lot of downing emotions w it that don’t help at all. im not trying to be an ass but this isn’t smth u wean urself off from - this is smth u grab in both hands & u say see u never & u End it there. this isn’t to say that slipping is the end of the world or that ur a failure - u just pick urself up & try again. but each time u gotta try w vigour & every bit of strength u have bc u absolutely deserve that.

instructive thoughts are a fuckin world on their own i haven’t figured that shit out yet, sorry. just ignore those evil little twits tell them to go shit in their own heads & to leave u alone. don’t listen to a word of it, don’t let urself be tricked. ur not a bad person for thinking fucked up stuff. pretty sure everyone does it

make sure to love smth. love lots of stuff. depression makes things feel Shitty - keep trying to search for that stuff that lightens it a little bit. smth that is the perfect size for ur hand like a tennis ball or the sound of it bouncing or plucking grass or smth. whatever it is, it doesn’t have to be productive so long as it makes u happy. personally i love art bc i love the concept of creating stuff but if that’s not for u then like that’s perfectly fine too???? if u do like creating stuff it’s important not to delete everything when u get a Mood. u will lose stuff & i think no matter how shitty smth is that u made, u made it & to be able to see it there is rly cool???? don’t edit when ur in a Mood that’s my advice lol

treat urself. take a bath, go on a walk, go to sleep early, make dinner for ur family or With them, try to learn smth u have always wanted to learn, go to the theatre (!!), read a new book or watch a show!

this is all stuff for when ur not in a heap on ur bed & can’t move. when ur in that mood, i recommend cleaning ur teeth. if u can, i also recommend making ur bed with new sheets & having a shower.

idk what else i can say & i certainly don’t know if any of this was helpful at all. i hope it was but u can ask me anything u want

#boom answered #depression tw #self harm tw #depression cw