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#if it keeps happening maybe you're the problem
jasntodds · 17 hours
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Penance Chapter 2 Teaser - Full Chapter coming 6/12
Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader Teaser Words: 1,716 Chapter Warnings: Swearing, a little bit of angst, some fluff, mentions of death, mentions of injuries, mentions of canon violence Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞ It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right? Right? A/N: I'm having problems with my taglist?? I'm trying desperately to get it to work properly so please bear with me lol I'm always going to post some sort of update when this fic will be posted just in case so you can search my blog under "penance" if you haven't been tagged in anything in a week!! A teaser or chapter will be posted every week!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭
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Jason heads out to find Tim, daunting his Red Hood gear and helmet. The drive isn’t too far from his safe house but it is raining tonight, on and off. Yesterday was nice, warm and no rain. It's a bit of a depressing contrast between the two days. The street lights reflect off the wet pavement and Jason isn't entirely sure what he's going to do when he gets there. All he knows is Tim will probably need help and he'll just take it from there. It's not exactly how he wants to approach any situation but he's not sure what Tim will even be doing.
Jason pulls up to a building across the street from an alley where some, surely, illegal deal of sorts is going down. Apparently, Tim is supposed to be here eventually so Jason parks the bike in the dark of his alley before he uses a grappling hook to get to the roof of the building just so he can see better. And then he waits.
Meanwhile, you've made your place on the roof overlooking the alley with the van, knowing this is where Tim will be. And you can’t help but feel excited to see him. You miss him a lot even if it is a little hard to be happy it's under the circumstances of Robin. There's also the bit of dread and excitement over seeing Jason, working with Jason.
Seeing him means there's going to have to be some sort of conversation over the two of you being unable to pick up a phone and call each other. There's going to be some sort of conversation about everything that happened. It's going to bring back all of the pain all over again. Will you even be able to pick up where you left off? Or will you fall into an awkward dance where you both just fumble over each other until Tim leaves? Or will it be worse? But, seeing him, being around him, always felt the most like home and you really hope he's okay and happy. You're excited just to see how he's doing.
You're laying on your stomach to take cover while you watch over the ledge but your fingers tap wildly against the pavement at the thought. It’s the hope this goes okay, that he doesn’t hate you. That Tim is happy to see you both. That Tim doesn’t get killed in the first five minutes of being Robin. Excitement, dread, and anxiety flood your system. Why did you agree to this?
Commotion starts from below you and you see Tim on the top of a car while the goons are loading their van. Even in the low light, you can tell the suit is a little different than Jason's and Dick's. The cape definitely is with its jagged edges and it's longer. It fits him actually. You stand on the edge of the roof, grappling hook in hand and knife in the other, ready to slide down the second things get out of hand. 
Tim handles himself okay at first but then they outnumber him and they’re faster than he is and better. You know Tim has had a few training sessions but by the looks of it, they could not have been very long or helpful. Things start looking pretty bad for him so you use the grappling hook to lower yourself down but before your feet even hit solid ground, shots ring through the alley, taking out one of the men and then the other. Just as your feet hit the ground, you nail the last one with a knife, turning to face down the alley with your arms crossed. And there he is, walking confidently with a gun in hand.
Of course, he beat you to it.
Jason's eyes widen behind his helmet. He did not expect to see you tonight. Kind of like last night, seeing you throws him off. It's a bit jarring somehow. Gotham might be a big city but you travel in the same circles, it was bound to happen. Just...two nights in a row seems...odd.
“I had that covered.” You state through your mask.
Jason can taste his heartbeat in his throat as he keeps closing the distance between you. Your mask always muffled your voice a little but it's still his favorite sound. He can feel his cheeks burning and a smile desperate to cross his lips. Jason bites it back, trying to keep his composure.
“Where the fuck did you even come from?” Jason quips back.
You point to the roof. “Clearly. And you?” You question, keeping your voice flat and curious, trying to conceal your own nerves.
Jason points a thumb over his shoulder. “Clearly.” He echoes as he stands next to you.
It all clicks then, this was definitely a setup by Dick. Of all fucking people, Dick Grayson is doing this shit? Jason swears up and down this is getting ridiculous. Bruce, Molly, Gar, Dick? They are all trying to get them to communicate and...maybe they have a point even if Jason never wants to admit it. Not when two of those people are Bruce and Dick. But, he can’t focus on that or how this is sending his head into a tailspin.
He needs to help Tim which means he can't let his feelings for you get in the way even if ignoring them is one of the hardest things he's ever done. He has to act normal and like being next to you doesn't make him want to explode. He needs to keep his cool, keep the smile from ripping apart his lips because even if this is a setup and he should be mad, he misses you so fucking much it physically pains him. He can't find himself to be mad because you'll never abandon Tim so even if you don't speak to Jason while you help him, at least he gets to see you as you. Like old times even if it doesn’t last and for that, Jason is happy.
Jason reaches behind his head, releasing the helmet before he takes it off and you swear you swallowed your heart. He looks so good. “Who the fuck are you supposed to be?” Jason calls, eyes locked on Tim and you think you've melted at the sound of his voice.
His voice is somehow better than you remember it. A little calloused, a little rough, but not too deep. It always fit him so well and you've never been so thankful to have a mask that covers the lower half of your mouth because your lips are curling into the most uncontrollable smile. Every piece of reservation you had about seeing him completely flies out of the window.
Jason Todd has always had his type of gravitation pull like a planet lost in the universe and you've just been sucked right back into it.
You miss him so fucking much.
Tim looks down to his chest, right at the R symbol before he looks back to Jason. “I’m Robin.” Tim states as if Jason should have known.
The subtle hint of a smile comes over Jason’s lips seeing someone else in the Robin suit. It’s weird because it almost feels…hurtful. It hurts a little seeing someone else in a position where he was, not in a jealous way but in a way that he is reminded that was him. He was Robin and he fucked up and now he’s not. It hurts in the way he’s reminded of it being ripped away from his bloody hands. The suit is different, Jason clocks almost every difference in the first few seconds but it is similar. Jason was beaten to death in something similar with the same mantle. There’s almost this part of him that even worries about it. Robin didn’t work for Dick. He didn’t die as Robin but it didn’t work for him. Jason was killed. Where’s that going to leave Tim?
On the other hand though, there is something about someone else taking up Robin that feels good. Jason died but Robin didn’t. Robin never had to die with Jason and he shouldn’t. The people need a Robin and he doesn’t really know Tim but you do and Gar does. He trusts you both and Tim looks thrilled to be here. It’s a mix but there is something kind of nice seeing the resurrection of Robin.
“Hey.” You chime as you walk closer to him.
Tim’s smile splits his face. “Hey, how’d you know I’d be here?”
“Molly tracked you the second a Robin showed up. Knew it was you.” You laugh softly before you pull him into a gentle hug. “You should have told me.” You say as you pull away, your hands coming to his shoulders as you look over the suit, noticing all the difference between this one and Jason’s.
“Yeah, I thought I could handle this.” Tim chuckles sheepishly, realizing he was a little in over his head tonight but not lacking in any of his confidence to do this job. 
“Clearly, you were wrong.” Jason closes the distance between you. “You’re lucky we showed up when we did.” Jason stands right beside you as you drop your hands from his shoulders, maybe you looking over the suit makes him want to chew his tongue out of his mouth.
“Yeah, I got that.” Tim nods his head. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” The smile reaches your eyes as you beam back at Tim.
Jason’s eyes narrow at you slightly. You seem awfully happy. He knows Tim is your friend but you just seem overly happy or maybe he’s in his own head about it. He just remembers that day picking you up from Titans Tower and it was...similar. It's like he's getting stabbed in the chest and the base of his throat knowing you were not happy to see him tonight. The very thought of your feelings disappearing makes him feel like his rib cage might collapse on itself. So, he pushes it away as far as he possibly can and bites back his own words, trying to just be relieved you look happy instead of pissed off Dick set you up. He’s just thankful you haven’t run away. Yet.
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tfnonsense · 21 hours
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So if a woman shrank out of her clothes which I presume would be the case considering that's the most likely scenario if they want to keep their bodies covered what would you suggest the best temporary clothing would be
If there's preparation time, and the shrinking is planned, potentially not even bother. If truly desired and/or insisted upon, however, any light material that can be worn like a large towel or toga.
If the resulting size is known, an outfit could even be made in advance, but it would probably need to be dress-like for a shrunken person. I say this because of stitching and seams, which don't scale.
(Of course, if you're shrinking a person, maybe you can shrink a pair of pants and a t-shirt, too, but this scenario says that isn't an option for whatever reason).
Actually, thinking on how seams don't scale, yeah. A VERY simple dress with head and arm holes seams the ideal to me. This would be applicable to every shrunken person, not just women.
If unexpected, work with what you've got. If no one of normal size is around to help, options might be extremely limited. It's the one situation in which being slightly messy about laundry might be a good thing, but I doubt anyone would be too excited about dirty clothes left on the floor as an option.
Granted, I'm thinking of this from my own expectations. I've seen bedrooms in anime with way more kept on, or closer to, the floor.
The clothes they were wearing might be an option, especially if it was summer. I'm trying NOT to suggest using underwear, as that's one of those "I bet this happened in an indulgent mange" scenarios, BUT if looking for relative light and small clothing to reappropriate for use on a shrunken body, that might genuinely be a "sensible" option.
Though, at that point, maybe the shrunken party should forego modesty and focus on bigger problems.
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willow-asin-winnie · 2 days
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I am of the correct opinion that songs in languages other than English need more love and for that matter, let me introduce you to: My German Batfam Playlist Project!
And who do we start with? Jason! So here, enjoy the playlist and my elaborations, because I have thoughts and will not keep my mouth shut <333
Neue Probleme ("New Problems") by Crystal F:
Life takes it course, no matter if you're prepared or not. Nothing ever seems normal, you'll always wait for life to finally make sense. Sound familiar?
Notable lyrics: "I think too often that I am nothing and that I can do nothing, far removed from the man I wanted to be"; "If something good happens, it's the others."; "I'm still afraid they'll forget me"
Durch die Nacht ("Through the night") by Pavel Paloma:
This one, actually, is the robin-anthem and therefore, Jason has his part as well, maybe I'll translate the lyrics fully at some point (there's no official lyrics, so mhmm). Anyway, it's a story of someone literally running through the night with someone else, dancing through it, but something changes over the course of time.
Notable lyrics: "Now I'm running through the city alone, I'm running through the night alone"; "Now I need to see where I stand, it's half past three in the night, please don't come back, please let me to you"
Trophäe ("Trophy") by Paula Carolina:
Being betrayed by the one you loved, feeling you're just a trophy to them. The lyrics explain it better than I could, but it's so angry jason coded.
Notable lyrics: "No, no, I don't want to be your trophy, just one out of many"; "No, no, I won't be your trophy, why don't you hang the others on your wall?"; "Your network, it's always your network, will it save you once you're hurt?"; "Will you notice if I'm suddenly gone?"; "And sometime, once you're alone, in an empty room, sitting in front of your daughter, Maybe you'll think of me, how you forgot my birthday."
Hier raus ("Out of here") by Cédric L'amour:
You look towards the one that wronged you full of anger. You need to get out of there, before you do something you'll regret. Doesn't that sound like his anger towards not only Batman, but also Tim?
Notable lyrics: "The people scream your name and I don't understand the hype"; "I need to get out of here, just out, if I don't leave right now I can't promise anything"; "Why is nobody saying anything? Why is nobody appalled? But I have to accept it?"; "I will get my revenge"
Blut / Leben ("Blood / Life") by REPLEKA:
Basically what the song says is: As long as you would come save me, I can die tomorrow. How is that not Jason coded?
Notable lyrics: "You were what kept me alive"; "I can't see anything, it's foggy, just reflections of neon lights in your eyes"; "Your blood flows through my veins"; "I trusted you blind although you couldn't see"
Wand ("Wall") by Ennio:
This song screams desperation. You built your wall and you kinda want people to try and break it, but oh what if they succeed? Who even am I behind it? But life has to go on anyway, somehow.
Notable lyrics: "I built my wall, people look at it. Will someone come close and try to understand?"; "They say do what's right, but when you do it's not right."; "You're not in the mood [to argue and to mingle], decline the call, and down your drink."
Alles nur gelogen ("It's all a lie") by KAFFKIEZ:
I see this song as the transition period between him not wanting to go home and slowly warming up to the family again. It's rocky, it's all different, but what can you do?
Notable lyrics: "It's all a lie, nothing is as it once was"; "I'm never home, I promise too much [...], I'll be home for Christmas, maybe"; "Whatever I say, it's not fair, I can't be fair enough for us both right now"; "I'd say I miss you, but I'm scared what that means, so I just try to move on and forget who we once were"
Elektronisches Mädchen ("E-girl/Electronic girl", but in a very very literally translated sense.) by Punk Christ:
This one, I can't quite explain. It's actually about people desperately trying to be different from the others, but subsequently being just like everyone else. How is Batman commiting crimes in the name of justice okay, but not him? Notable lyrics: "You say you're punk, she says your emo, he says you're just an electronic girl"; "Just admit you're actually like everyone else"
Mein Spiegelbild (hasst mich) ("My mirror image (hates me)") by raumfisch, Liser:
Being very painfully aware of your own flaws, but struggling to do anything against them. Also, what even are the chances Jason never broke a mirror after meeting the others again?
Notable lyrics: "Even the cashier at the corner store knows my life is a lie"; "It's not bad to be alone, I'll just drink for two."; "I count the flaws of the reflection, thoughts swirling. The image laughs, because he knows better. I fall for it"; "No, I'm not hurt, I am fine on my own, even if the shards of my mirror tell a different story."
Warte, warte ("wait, wait") by Subway To Sally:
Jason in his revenge era. Just. Look at the lyrics and you'll get it.
Notable lyrics: "In the streets, on the markets, you hear it quiet then loud, there is a monster in the city"; "a few people disappeared, now the people live in fear"; "in the dark, the werewolf is waiting for you. Wait, wait just a little while, wait, just wait for him."; "Everything around us falls apart, and in midst of the flames sneaks the monster into the light, bites down on your throat, drinks your blood and wishes so much that they'll talk of him in even a hundred years"; "All wolves and vampires, all demons, are just this: Humans that hunt humans"
Mein Kopf ist eine Party ("My mind is a party") by Paula Engels:
A party as a metaphor for panic, basically. It fits. Trust me on this. I think the deeper reason I think it fits is because Jason's arcs don't make sense in my head without panic. The anger and fear after being resurrected, everything that happened after, the "replacement" thing.
There is underlying panic, once the rage is not present enough to distract him from it.
Notable lyrics: "My mind is a party, can't breathe. I haven't felt for too long how it feels to feel nothing."; "My mind is a party, don't want to be here. I'm alone and the room closes in. Is the party winning?"; "The room is too small, all their stares on me, suddenly everything is quiet. They smirk is wide, say: 'You can only lose'"; "And I ask myself 'Is this still normal?'"
deine mama mag mich nicht ("your mother doesn't like me") by Yunus:
Okay, so. This is a hypothetical, okay? It's a great song. In theory it's about the parents of your love disapproving of you. But just. Bear with me.
Notable lyrics: "your mother doesn't like me, she's afraid of losing you, although i was always so friendly to them"; "I stand in front of your family like a sacrifice, don't know if I can do it again."; "I feel their death stares on me, but they can forget me breaking up with you."; "If they knew I'll stay, they'd kick me out"; "I hold back, why don't I ignore it? Where does love start and where does it end?"
...Hear me out. Red Hood Jason as the narrator. With past Jason as the lover.
GUT<BESSER<ICH ("GOOD<BETTER<ME") by TJ_beastboy:
Jason high on confidence. What you can do, I can do better. Nothing else to add.
Notable lyrics: "Didn't you already know? It goes: Good, better, me."
CONCLUSION:
More people need to listen to German music and I will supply you with it. If you enjoyed my ramblings and subpar translation skills, make you check out the next playlists once I post them.
Also, if you enjoyed the songs, make sure to check out some of the artists other work! Some of them are still very small and it would mean the world to me (and probably them) if more people got to enjoy their music.
Also, here the link again, in case the one above doesn't work: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5HvMcE3IEO84vgqvNpr3d9?si=8376107780924f79
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thornsnvultures · 8 months
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"please stop gatekeeping your content and blocking me"
fellas is it gatekeeping to want the bare minimum?
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thepoisonroom · 3 months
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it's so crazy to be in a really healthy relationship but still have emotional problems because every time i want to catastrophize about things with my girlfriend i'm like "buddy that doesn't even make any sense are you sure that's not your brain problems 🤨"
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suncaptor · 2 months
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there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.
#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma#I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do#this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by#my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness#control my willingness to let things in#but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music...........#and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy#or religion because they've damaged me so much#how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma?#the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is#but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again#and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror#then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique#and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem#but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere#possibility of a future#i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed#me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life.#if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee#nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like#that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and#there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue.#it's the problem in itself.#my ambition SHOULD be smarter.#god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i#mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me#but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin#well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see.#delete
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sovonight · 1 year
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,
#ohhhhhhh i really do dislike the tonal shift in bg2/tob so much........ and by that i mean mostly in xan's mod 😭#i mean maybe the sense of betrayal and disappointment is immersive but it really leaves me with No idea what to do with him#in my version of radri's story. like. do i do my best even with all the parts i find ooc? do i cherry pick what i want and forget the rest?#and even after all my complaints i keep thinking back to his author. the fact that somehow this is the *intended* experience#currently feeling like the necromancer who resurrected their wife and is convinced she came back wrong but who just never truly knew her#i keep going back to 'estel'amin'. the fact that xan named charname his hope--and then quickly stopped using that name for her#once her bhaalspawn nature continued to affect her life after the conclusion of bg1#so--basically--i'm to assume that he changed his mind? she's no longer his hope; his light; and if she is it's rare#he just calls her beautiful now; something far more shallow#and the fact that in tob he vacillates between subtly criticizing her for her nature which she has no control over#(and which in radri's case she has never even willingly given in to)--#and attempting to comfort her after her nature makes bad things happen to her & around her#--but then his comfort is once again undermined by the aforementioned shallow compliments#it's coming across as 'i love your body despite what you are in spirit' and really isn't a great look at all#look maybe i'm crazy but in bg1 i got the impression that he was able to accept and move past it fairly quickly#like 'ok you're a bhaalspawn so now let's move into problem solving. obviously i have to quit my job and travel with you full time'#but in bg2 he spends most of his time lamenting about how hard it must be for her to live like this#while also pointing it out as a personal flaw of hers. as if she'd had any say in who her father was#like there are npcs literally shouting 'i hate all bhaalspawn!' and here he is--supposedly her closest supporter--#also subtly saying 'i hate bhaalspawn' right to her face#when literally as a neutral alignment and as a companion of 1-2 years-- he should actually have THE most nuanced take on her???#in bg1 he says murder is unavoidable in the life of an adventurer. then in tob he comments that charname kills everyone haphazardly--#--as though in another jab to her nature. meanwhile as a constant companion he should know better than anyone that it wasn't so simple#idk. i'm almost feeling gaslighted by the narrative in a sense#because when everyone else talks about xan in bg2/tob--including charname via the dialogue options/written internal dialogue--#they say that he's ~gray~ and calm and collected and emotionless etc#meanwhile he's literally the most emotional guy in the game. like. he's freaked out SO many times#so?? how am i supposed to take anything here genuinely?? how am i supposed to engage??? SIGH#anyway today's my first day at my new job and i have to wake up in 2 hours & im certain that i'll be too nervous to eat today#my goal for today is just to not be fired 👍 12 hours from now it will be over...
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aeide-thea · 2 years
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so as per prev tags i read A Sensory Experience of Metal and Other Metal and having finished it i basically think what i said before but more so: i thought certain things abt it were vividly diverting and delightful and other things were really very sketchily penciled in!
in some ways i do think the biggest thing that's stood out to me abt the various m/m books by, uh, fandom-nurtured authors that i've read lately-ish (thinking vaguely of FM and, uh, other FM here, in addition to op. previously cit.) is how mediocre their female characters have imo been—in some ways that's to be expected bc supporting characters in romance are very often mere ciphers, and if both members of your central pairing are men, then, well... but i do feel like people could be briefly sketched and still feel realer and more like there's a logic of their own to them, beyond just Necessary NPC? like, i have some issues with both heyer and sayers (antisemitism foremost among these) but both of them managed to make it feel as though their romances were happening within the context of a believable society populated by believable bit characters (sayers' artist lesbians!).
(as per prev post also some thoughts abt what gets fleshed out vs what's just wooden set dressing in general, and some wondering abt the extent to which a fannish apprenticeship tends to encourage those flaws, but those i think i more or less covered in prev tags, if somewhat incoherently/inconclusively.)
#anyway this is not a useful post to anyone but me probably‚ i just like to take notes for my own records#bc it IS sometimes convenient to be able to flip back and say 'oh right THAT's what i thought of that book!'#anyway i love fandom and ppl wrote flawed books before fandom was a twinkle in bored housewives' eyes but#there ARE particular modes it trains you to perhaps overdevelop and others it doesn't train you to develop at all#and i do kind of think i'm seeing the traces of that in more and more books#some people would say that's not necessarily a problem‚ and on the face of it maybe it isn't#but i think i do in fact want authors to be able to tell what they've actually gotten down on the page and what they haven't#and instead are supplying out of their own reservoir of canon‚ which in fandom readers share with authors‚ but which in origfic they can't#like that does in fact feel like a pretty fundamental aspect of storytelling craft to me that i want a professional to be aware of#ok also one last totally unrelated thing is that i really have trouble PERSONALLY#buying the idea of a character with anxiety being a non-coquettish dom#like speaking personally i LOVE to get playfully toppy but like. idk. it's topping as flirting kind of.#also i mean 'dom' is an overstatement wrt the level of power exchange happening in this particular book#(or anyway the level of *sexual* power exchange—the whole 'commoner employee/royal employer' dynamic is a whole other thing)#(oh man i have. so many thoughts. mostly abt how ppl KEEP trying to write royalty bc they think it's sexy but then want to make it moral)#(i kind of think the minute you open the can of morality worms you've kind of ruined the fantasy)#(like i'm not opposed but then you're asking me to think with my *actual* brain and morals and not just. you know.)#okay i super lied abt the topic three topics ago being the last one but maybe this will be—#lots of thoughts abt like. the MULTIPLE friend-cum-valet relationships in these various books that don't imo get adequate arcs#it's like somebody told ppl our prince-heros had to have a humanizing commoner connection#but forgot that if they don't ask the 'friend' how they're coping with whatever mostly-offstage struggles have been tossed their way—#they aren't actually acting like friends!#like obviously it's a balance bc the main characters' problems ARE going to take center stage and should#but increasingly i'm like. does X random character seem like they've got a coherent track they're moving along even if we only see a clip#does X non-central relationship feel like any tensions introduced into it along the way have gotten resolved by the end#things CAN be left to linger but that's different from slapping some sloppy spackling on and calling that a resolution#ok maybe someday i will learn to stop shoving half my thoughts in tags so i can like. sort them into paragraphs or something at least#but today is clearly not the day i'll be starting#bookblogging#okay i lied one ACTUALLY FOR REAL last thing is that the ''''hilariously Difficult'''' magical-truth-assessor character in this is.
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snekdood · 1 year
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You fucking idiots dont fucking get it. ive been taking care of plants since i was 14. Ive tried FUCKING EVERYTHING. Fungus gnats are just apparently gonna exist around me no matter what i do or try, apparently just like these yerfs who also seem to be breeding like maggots.
#please! non plant experts stfu forever.#please! if you dont take care of a grden or live by a heavily wooded areas and dont have any plants inside too that arent succs-#shut the fuck up forever!!#whatever you're about to suggest! ive fucking tried it!!!#but of course. like the yerfs you are you cant ever take me at my word for my own experiences. its always that yall know whats right always#and never that im actually fucking correct about the shit i talk about. like maybe its just really fucking hard to control their population#did you ever consider that sometimes you have to make sacrifices if you want to take care of something like plants? i have to wake up at 6#in the morning now JUST to keep the squirrels scared away from my planters. bc if i sleep in at all i risk letting my plants die bc of#their bs. unfortunately theres just shit that comes with plants that you have to decide whether or not your love for plants is greater than#whatever bs you might encounter while you take care of them. and unfortunately one of those sacrifices is having to deal with fungus gnats#and bugs in general. yall think its so easy to control bugs in my apartment. im poor. nothing is sealed here.#i had a fucking mosquito infestation. how does that even happen? i dont fucking know! but it did.#ive had a meal moth infestation. how did they get in? they were breeding in a little bag of old food i had for my hermit crabs.#how did they get in and somehow get to that bag all the way in my room? WHO FUCKIN KNOWS! I SUSPECT THOUGH ITS BC IM FUCKIN POOR#AND THIS SHIT AINT SEALED IN HERE WELL ENOUGH. i have bug problems all the time.#and you're gonna tell me its just suddenly so easy to get rid of gnats.#this is why ik none of yall *actually* take care of plants. like actually truly. outside of what. your succulents and the one palm you have#im really happy that you have plants you can deprive of water for a few days but i have marsh plants! i have swamp plants! I CANT deprive#them of moisture acrually! so its really not that fucking easy to get eid of the fucking gnats! i feel like i should have to fucking#explain this. if you actually took care of plants forreal forreal you would know they are just not fucking easy to get rid of.#but naw. im trans. so that means i never know what im talking about about anything or whatever and yall gotta act paternalistic about#everything i do. meanwhile im sitting over here ripping out my hair about how dumb and juvenile YALL are bc ik for a gotdamn fact if any of#yall ugly fucks ACTUALLY took care of plants outside of the ornamental ones you have this wouldnt be a discussion.#but naw ya saw a jokey post of mine about how i felt defeated in my ability to get rid of the gnats and decided i wasnt actually trying#bc for some reason yall gotta assume that no trans person actually just knows wtf theyre talking about literally on anything.#anyways i hope yall get plagued by gnats forever and all your planrs die from them devouring the roots.#its like yall are new souls coming in acting like you're an old soul and im the actual old soul tryna tell you what it is but yall are just#*so convinced* you're right because everyone says im the crazy old man on the corner so that means i dont know anything or some#dumb reasoning like that. like idk maybe this old man has seen some shit and knows some shit but sure im sure yall little asses know wrf#ur talking about. totally.
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soryualeksi · 2 years
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Okay, so. I'm ALL for not spreading, you know, deadly fucking disease to your fellow human beings, but WHAT is it with people, like, pretending to not understand the mere concept of a common cold anymore??
I keep being made an unwilling participant in a discussion that goes as follows:
"Hm, I have a cough and a sore throat."
"Oh dear."
"But I keep testing for Covid every day before coming into work."
"That's the responsible thing to do."
"The tests keep coming back negative."
"That's good to hear. Let's hope it stays that way."
Now normally, this would be the end of this extremely awkward sickness-smalltalk that I don't actually wanna know anything about. But no. Then they suddenly double down.
"I don't trust the tests."
"Well, I trust you to have done the tests in the correct manner, so if they keep coming back negative I would assume you don't have Covid."
"But I have a cough and a sore throat."
"Yes, I mean, it could just be a common cold. Those still exist."
"But I've been like this for a week now."
"Colds are like that."
"But also my head hurts a bit."
"Colds do that, too."
"But also I feel kind of tired and ill."
"Yes, that's... Look, I'm sure that before Covid you've had a cold at some point, too?"
"But I don't trust the tests."
AND THEN IT JUST GOES ON LIKE THIS.
WHAT IS BEING EXPECTED OF ME HERE.
;_;
I don't want to invalidate people feeling worried and then I usually say, look, if the ONE blob of nose slime that contains like three little particles for the test to come back positive on, is hidden SO deep within your nasal cavities you can't get it on your swab no matter how hard you poke around there, then even if you HAD Covid - which you don't - I think it's unlikely there'd be enough of the virus in that other little blob of nose slime over there you could possibly fling into the air IF you coughed wetly on the next person without covering your mouth.
Like?? Is this a new kind of social ritual I don't understand??? Are we signaling our place in the "We are mindful of the pandemic" hierarchy by??? Insisting our runny nose must be from Covid and we just cannot detect it AND ALSO IF YOU'RE SO WORRIED THAN WHY ARE YOU AT WORK WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT WHY DO I HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN THAT
???
I don't wanna have this discussion anymore, I don't know what to say other than "In this case the evidence points to: common cold."
What is the purpose of this discussion, what answer do they want, what am I supposed to provide them. ;_; Please. You probably have a cold. If you feel so shitty that you have to constantly let me know, than maybe you should go get sick leave from your doctor, why are you telling ME, why do you believe that there's no other respiratory infections besides Covid anymore, WHAT DO YOU WANT, and also WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE *ME* YOUR DISGUSTING-ASS COLD SOB
I'm sorry for ranting, but this keeps happening and I'm TIRED. If you're really, truly worried you are infectious with a nasty disease, then stay the fuck home. And if you're not. Then WHY. Are we having this stupid discussion.
;_;
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year
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Also idk if I can elaborate on this in beautiful enough detail, but I think that the Autobots going through unreasonable amounts of effort to save other people even at great personal cost to themselves is literally something good about them, and if you try to criticize that as a way the Autobots are “bad” then I really don’t get you.
#squiggposting#how do i say this without overstepping on experiences i don't have#in the real world when people do things like emergency services or whatever... the foundation of that type of work#is to do something objectively dangerous and risky to yourself on just the bare chance of saving others#there are a lot of safety regulations-- everything from just day to day use of equipment#to entire protocols that emergency services and other people use#whose entire purpose is 'we need to go above and beyond'#'so that we know beyond a shadow of a doubt we have done everything we can do to protect others'#and like that's the principle that the autobots embody. and it's not just a story thing#that's something that happens in real life too. in real life we valorize people who didn't have to do everything they could to save other pe#people but did it anyways. you know???#like the point isn't to say 'if you don't kill yourself to save others then you're a bad person'#the point is to say that we valorize people who DO go above and beyond because they embody the greatest standards of care and selfishness#so like for example yeah the autobots often protect organic species at great tactical loss and personal danger to themselves#but it's because the principle of equality and protection guides them such that they believe this is a noble pursuit#because it is. it is noble to do what's difficult and inconvenient to save other people without expecting recognition#and also in a way it's just the morally and philosophically correct thing to do? like if your choice could possibly do harm to someone#the moral response is to go 'maybe i shouldn't do that because i don't want to hurt people for my own ends'#not for you to go 'well i might NOT hurt them by accident there's only a chance of it so i'll just keep doing my thing'#people who disregard others because 'it's probably not going to hurt them' or 'it's not my problem if they get hurt'#are not people that we would generally call admirable or morally correct#and i think the existence of so many safety and ethical standards IRL proves this#because people/society as a whole know that we have a duty to be SURE that we don't hurt others even by accident#and we have a duty to check whether people might get hurt by accident even if we're 100% sure that no one will get hurt.#it's like fucking checking your windows before you reverse your car. yes you already looked once so there's probably no one behind your car#but it's the responsible and moral thing for you to keep checking your mirrors for the 1% chance that there IS someone#sorry for ranting
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tardis--dreams · 1 year
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To summarize today's day in university:
- got diagnosed with social phobia by a class mate (bitch?!)
- heard a Very cool lecture/presentation by a guest lecturer
- our lecturer said she kinda liked our idea for our presentation
- had lunch with friends in the uni canteen which was nice but evoked some existential despair
#about that social phobia thing: first she showed me the term on her phone during a seminar (when she couldn't talk loudly)#asking if i had that to which i said no i do not?!#then after class she again said 'i think you have social phobia. because you don't like talking to people or in class' *nodding knowingly*#to which i again said i did Not have it but ok whatever#because hello?! the only person allowed to say i have social anxiety is Me. fuck you?!#like I DO say i have social anxiety because i do i guess. but a) not talking in class is not an indicator for this#b) i Do talk in class lmao. and I've never actually had any problems around her regarding anxiety#like i have no problem talking to classmates or saying something in the classes we have together so Fuck Off?!#(i mean it is a giant problem sometimes in some contexts but STILL. YOU DON'T GET TO 'DIAGNOSE' ME.#i hereby officially undiagnose myself from that thank you very much)#ANYWAY do you know the feeling of meeting someone you really look up to like maybe an author or a musician or whatever in REAL LIFE#AND YOU GET TO TALK TO THEM? that excitement where you're like 'omg i can't believe that's happening i can't believe you're here in a room#with me TALKING TO ME? and I get to hear about something unpublished you're working on rn?? like exclusive insight into current research???#that was me today during that presentation by that guest lecturer! I've read most of her articles and at some point idk i guess you find#researchers in your field whose work you just find Very interesting and then when you get to meet them it feels a little unreal#(not to fangirl over a linguist or anything. i rarely do that (don't speak to me about my favorite lecturer who i also totally don't see as#a huge inspiration or anything))#but yeah also i was so worried about the presentation next week but now our lecturer said she didn't hate the topic I'm more chill about it#AND yeah sorry folks‚ healthcare doesn't exist here :( no i can't help you find a doctor there's no hope just accept it#I LOVE the fact that international students keep bringing up this topic! the sheer despair and Anxiety you get to hear about! fantastic!#like I'm sorry about this obviously but that's just how we live here? What do you MEAN in your country you just can go to a doctor FOR FREE#and they'll help you? what yeah man I'll come to Russia with you! (seriously. this is one of the main things preventing people from staying#here. the absolute Lack of healthcare. people who are like 'yeah i love it here but honestly? I'm too scared something might happen#and then no one will help me.. yep. understandable. i have just accepted that i will die due to this#but if you have the option to go (back) to a country where things are different I'd do that tbh.#(sorry just normal lunch conversation topics we have here#i still feel very nice and fuzzy because i was invited ahahaha (i have a sad life lmao))#shut up amy#university ramblings
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desertskiespodcast · 7 months
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I tried to write a novel. Not once. Not twice. But about 12 times. Here's how that would play out: 1. I sit down and knock out 10 pages 2. I share it with someone 3. They say "It's goooood" like it's not good 4. I ask for critical feedback 5. They say, "Well....the plot just moves so quickly. So much happens in the first few pages it doesn't feel natural." So I'd write more drafts. I'd try to stretch out the story. I would add dialogue that I tried to make interesting but thought was boring. I would try including environment and character descriptions that felt unnecessary, (why not just let people imagine what they want?) Anyways, I gave up trying to write because in my mind, I wasn't a fiction writer. Maybe I could write a phonebook or something. But then I made a fiction podcast, and I waited for the same feedback about the fast moving plot, but guess what??? Podcasts aren't novels. The thing that made my novels suck became one of the things that made Desert Skies work. I've received some criticism since the show started, but one thing I don't receive regular complaints about is being overly-descriptive or longwinded. In fact, the opposite. It moves fast enough that it keeps peoples attention. I always felt I had a knack for telling stories but spent years beating myself up because I couldn't put those stories into novel form. The problem wasn't me. The problem was the tool I was trying to use. All that to say: If, in your innermost parts you may know that you're a storyteller but you just can't write a book, don't give up right away. You can always do things to get better and there's a lot of good resources. But if you do that for a while and novel writing just isn't your thing, try making a podcast, or creating a comic, or a poem, or a play, or a tv script. You might know you're an artist but suck at painting. Try making a glass mosaic, or miniatures, or try charcoal portraits, or embroider or collage. You might know you're a singer, but opera just isn't working out. Why not yodel? I could keep listing out examples, but the point is this. Trust your intuitions when it comes to your creative abilities, but don't inhibit yourself by becoming dogmatic about which medium you can use to express that creativity. Don't be afraid to try something new. Don't be afraid to make something new. You might just find the art form that fits the gift you knew you always had, and what it is might surprise you
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medicinemane · 10 months
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You know, at this point I'm highly skeptical of things where people have a single simple solution to large scale problems that just calls for doing exactly what they think needs to be done and then everything is fixed
#today this is about a graph I just saw showing how we'd barely have to use any land compared to what we use now#if we just all went vegan#not only would less land be used for grazing; but it would also take less land to grow all the food we need to eat than we're using now#(which now that I say that I realize that seems extra nutty)#ok... so here's the problem... when you present me that good of a solution with that kind of margins...#well I really start to doubt someone isn't fudging some numbers somewhere or making gross assumptions#and not to pull a whataboutism with this but like... for real... what about the people who physically can't eat a vegan diet?#and then the practical question of cool; you're magically right... how do we get this adopted?#and what about food prices; people can swear up and down all day it's cheaper to eat health vegan food#but I have trouble keeping the pantry stocked even with meat; and I find I need to eat more with vegetarian stuff#and I'll be blunt; I point blank refuse to go vegan cause while I could maybe cut out meat#we're not even talking me being sad or something; I straight up couldn't get enough to eat without eggs and dairy#and keep in mind; I pretty much never do fast food or anything; it's more or less all made from ingredients at home#so like... magic of your chart aside where I find it's suspect#do you have a plan to subsidize food prices so I can afford to eat vegetarian?#do you have plans in place for how to look after people who physically can't go vegan?#or do you just have a fuzzy feeling about making this happen and therefore it'll just work if we'd only do it#(I'll say it again; you want to stop animals from being slaughtered to be eaten; develop high quality lab grown meat)#(cause surely the problem with people eating meat is the land use and that something has to die)#(surely you're not just being smug about a type of food being morally wrong even if all suffering could be removed from it)#(and I will switch to lab grown meat in an instant if it's price competitive and... 80% as good as good quality meat is)#anyway... this is just one example; there's a lot of stuff where it's like...#you take a simplistic view of the world and say 'just conform to my ideals already'#but you refuse to address any of the root underlying causes while representing your position as the only morally right one#sorry; we live in the real world which often means complex systems are at work#and you can be as right as you want; it won't make things better unless you actually address the causes of why things are how they are#unless you address why people do stuff like eat meat (hungry)#and unless you acknowledge stuff like that US vegans have in the past outbid people in other countries for their staple crops#cause they wanted to feel good about it; but now it means these people are becoming food insecure#or shit like how agave is being over harvested cause people don't want to eat honey despite the bees being fine...
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A Week (He Will Take You)
~
Danny moved to Gotham for school, while there he noticed that Gotham's ambient ecto was really murky for lack of a better word.
This didn't really affect him too much besides a mild headache every once in a while but that also just might be stress from all his school work so maybe not.
Anyway
This murky ecto seemed to effect the people who lived there or more importantly the ghosts,
They were visible to the human eye like most ghosts back in Amity but instead of looking very much like a ghost they still looked like humans if a bit off putting.
They all seemed to be continuing their normal lives as if still fully alive, with the people around them none the wiser.
Danny noticed this and began approaching them to figure out what was going on.
Apparently the murky ecto in the city had made it so that they were strong enough to still continue a somewhat normal life but not be able to cross over to the GZ.
In other words they were stuck in Gotham
Danny was the Ghost King so he could easily fix this problem, all he needed to do was give them a bit of pure ecto for around a week to fully stabilize them them then he would just open a portal into the GZ and they could cross over with all their things also transferring into the GZ for their new haunt.
Unfortunately this looked rather worrying to an outsider,
Imagine you're used to your neighbor being very outgoing so you and others see them a lot suddenly this man seems to appear in their life out of nowhere an at exactly one week, your neighbor and all their belongings in their home disappear no trace to be found.
You tell people and they begin saying the same story they knew someone and them a man with black hair and blue eyes appeared in their life, then they and all their things disappear in exactly one week.
Of course the police in Gotham do the bare minimum so they're no help.
But it starts to begin a trend, especially online.
"Oh careful or the blue eyed man will make you disappear in a week"
This of course after time catches the bats attention, Gordon had already given them all the information he had.
"Young adult early twenties, dark hair, blue eyes"
That was it.
The bats look into it and from their point of view Danny is a serial killer.
But they can't find the connection between all of his victims, they range from young children and the elderly from different backgrounds absolutely no connection,
Worrying enough he doesn't just make one person disappear he has taken entire families up to over a dozen, without anyone figuring out how he's doing it or why at all.
The disturbing thing also being that he seems to take everything in their home, leaving it like it has always been empty
Like no one had been living in it.
People have tried to take photos of Danny get some kind of evidence of his existence, but when they try to do it, it either comes out completely corrupted or their devise simply shuts down fully.
Danny of course has no clue what is happening he's just happy that he's able to help so many ghosts, and is trying not to fail his exams.
~
Danny leaving the house he just helped: "That went easier than I expected!"
Neighbor peeking from the window: "Shit it's that guy! "
~
Red Hood marching down into the cave: " The fucker took many from my territory without me even realizing it!"
~
Tim: "I'm pretty sure his kill count is nearing the hundreds and he just started like maybe 4 months ago, this is bad."
Barbara: " I think I got a theory, this matches up with the new school year beginning so maybe their not a Gotham native which narrows down my suspect list."
Bruce: "Hn."
Tim: "Yes thank you B for the insightful commentary"
~
Danny trying not to fall asleep while on his way to class: "Strange I keep seeing shadows following me, oh well must be the stress!"
Bats who are pretty sure Danny is the killer: "Has he done anything suspicious yet?"
~
Just an Idea
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writers-potion · 2 months
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Could I ask for tips on how to write kisses?
Writing The Perfect Kiss Scene
#1 Find the RIGHT moment
We all know what I mean! The "zing" when the character's faces are get close enough must come unexpected (but) when both of them are looking for romance/comfort.
For example:
Tripping over each other in the hallway
Person A covering their face with their hands and Person B prying them off, their eyes meeting...
Sitting next to each other in the library, elbows touching, and they happen to turn around to face each other...
Find a natural way to bring your characters the romantic atmosphere!
#2 Noticing the Other Person
It's natural to to see someone in a different way when there's romantic vibe pulsating in the air. Maybe your character notices that their crush has a speck of green in their eyes they didn't notice before.
#3 Build Ups
Describe how the characters feel moments before their lips touch. This includes things like racing hearts, sweaty palms, unsteady breathing. etc.
#4 Feeling all Self-Conscious
If you're writing a first-person POV or want to portray the nervous excitement of kissing a love interest for the first time, you can afford to have your character be distracted by how they feel inside, or worrying about how they smell/look, etc.
Maybe they feel like it's too early in the relationship to kiss
They're still thinking about that annoying math problem
Did I apply my new cherry-flavored chapstick? etc.
This should come in the same beat as the "notice the other person", heightening the romance tension between the characters.
Once they get closer and the kiss actually happens, these worries will melt away!
#4 Describing the Details
In most cases, it's best to keep things understated (especially in regards to tongues)
tongues cannot "tangle" or "battle" or "swish around"...please, no.
Focus on the lips and how the characters move (like hugging, pushing the other against a wall, breathing, etc.), adding the tongue as an afterthought.
Don't get too exicted about taste.
No, her tongue didn't taste like fresh roses and peaches, unless she was eating peach candy right before the kiss.
Focus on other sensations other than taste: especially touch, heat. the tickle of his breath on her cheekc, etc. Or even the smell of shampoo.
#5 The Pullaway + Reaction
Does the kiss end naturally, or does something else interrupt them?
How do the characters react: do they blush, say something, hug he other person, or run away with a deep blush? For couples, they can even tease the other.
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