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#its SOOOO pnw core to me #q

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#submission #SCREAMING SOBBING LOOK AT LOOK AT. OHHHHHHHHHHHHH BABYYYYYYY #🥺🥺 #CHII

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does my vibrant nonsense energy make you want to fall in love with me or find me so abrasive you never want me to speak to you again answer quick.

#incoherents

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#this still feels like a fever dream. i remember trying to read it through the heat and bad signsl in ghana. the days.

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refusing to never give up on anything ever is both a bad and a good thing. pick your choice.

#incoherents

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IF ANYTHING IT'S SINCERE BUT! SHE SAID SHE CAN'T UNDERSTAND CAUSE IT'S NOT CLEAR NOW, CAN YOU PERSEVERE OUT!!! I AM MADE OF FEAR WOW!!!!! But of course, I can, like I try to , make you see my. Bones.

#incoherents #real mvps know what I'm on about.

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If I could list everything that has happened down on paper in front of you and you were capable of understanding what that lived experience meant you would understand how resourceful and ambitious and intelligent I am. But all it amasses to is the accumulation of trauma and physical decay I guess.

#incoherents

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The fact that homelessness is controversial tells you everything you need to know about conservatives.

#i spend so much of my life judging myself for how much living insecurity and avoiding (or legally experiencing) homelessness #has shaped the last several years of my life #as if nearly everyone around me for chunks of it werent living with their parents #like its not just the ability to live with them again either. its the security net. #do you have a cosigner. do you know how hard it is to rent in your young adulthood without one. #what happens if you get severely ill. what happens if theres a pandemic what happens if youre mentally ill and severely ill on top of it #like god i need out of this i cant keep doing it #but i cant handle abuse so

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#SUPER SUPER SUPER DEPENDENT #am i locked up in the cage AS lucifer or WITH lucifer. #totally incomparable experiences #but uhhhhh naomi's prison. dont make me hurt people. i dont want to be used to hurt people. #spn

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anyway this is what I mean when I say that certain disorders being made quirky and memeable does not help with destigmatisation. people can say “autistic cat girls make the world go round” and then turn around and say “[common autistic trait] makes you evil btw”. and don’t see anything bad about that. they’re totally not ableist! they said it right there! they find autism sexy! hell world

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Being severely suicidal with no genuine ability to find a reason to live, not due to emotional regulation but sincerely due to quality of lived experience, for so many years DOES make you value the base concept of life & changes your perception of not choosing life given issues of health & losing function. Like you can't ever stop choosing life no matter what because you'll die anyways. And if you do anything else well none if this quality of life for years has been worth living.

#so like. i dont need a fucking dnr man. do whatever. #as long as it doesnt hurt anyone else #incoherents

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Like the thing is I value autonomy so deeply but a suicidal person who has been extremely out of their mind physically as well as psychologically unwell not choosing life saving treatment... Well legally there should be every precaution for their autonomy in place for sure but if they're someone I love. They're getting the treatment and they can hate me when they're in their right state of mind because they have a life ahead of them to deal with the trauma of what I did. But if their state as such is longterm then that IS their normal and nonacute state that they deserve to make decisions in and taking that right at that point away is longterm abuse with no clearcut way to actually give them a life back. So it's like. No. And legally loss of medical autonomy & conservatorship is something I'm nearly always against and genuinely do not think is good because the concept of "this is necessary" or "this is life saving" is stretched to any limits for abuse which is its main function. Risk to someone else or others is routinely ignored as an actual genuine risk and a way to oppress or threaten or take away rights of those who are mentally ill, and the law itself should absolutely value autonomy and rights of an individual first and foremost.

#incoherents #this is me going in s9 sam dean stuff lmao! #anyways dean was very relatable in 8x23 and 9x01 regarding trying to save sam but the gadreel thing is completely unexusable. #if gadreel straight up healed sam against his consent id still support deans decision i just would also think sam had a right to hate him #forever about it. but thats not what gadreel did like thats not the arc.

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hello. choose what your primary reason/opinion is, even if you think multiple are true. some options might seem to overlap but they're all distinct reasons. this is a big topic that can have real-world implications; please discuss rather than argue. i respect all of these moral stances and am interested to hear what people have to say. my own stance is that within the supernatural universe, because sam has already died several times over and death is ready to take him, maintaining/restoring cosmic balance by letting him die outweighs anything specific to the situation. have at it

edit: end of s8/start of s9, up to how it comes to a head with dean taking action to keep him alive as he is dying in the hospital. "should sam's readiness to die during and at the end of/after the trials have been respected by dean at the end of/after the trials?" sorry for any confusion!

#yes — means of keeping him alive were amoral #i will be super real this is a tenacious grasp i hold. i honestly think dean doing anything to keep sam alive in 9x01 is fine #i do value life of someone not in their right state of mind > autonomy in very specific circumstances #i don't think self autonomy is ALWAYS the correct answer despite how adamentally it usually is #but the thing is what is being done to Sam isnt some immediate thing while hes not in a right state #he was lied to for months about something ALL parties knew he would not have consented to in any state #like him in the hospital being healed? fine. him being possessed gaslighted then guilt tripped for having his autonomy taken?????? #horrifying. #honestly though regardless its unethical in terms of. sam would have a dnr. but lets be real. #if my sibling had a dnr and i had the power to bypass it in a split moment that I believed could eventually get them to a good quality of #life.. maybe I shouldn't be someone's whatever you call it 😭😭 #one of my problems is that ive been severely suicidal my whole life & also had real reasons to super value autonomy #but due to being so suicidal only way i could choose to stay alive was while exerting little autonomy #so much much much of my life is lived on a quality that is not livable or worth living to me #so my value of life is not determined by autonomy or value regarding it #if you are talking legally absolutely value autonomy #if you're talking my baby sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am valuing her LIFE #she can hate me she can never forgive me but if shes alive she can DO that #so like. #i chose yes bc what was required was immoral — possession is such a severe aversion and trauma especially for Sam #and it SPECIFICALLY requires consent Dean Basically Overrode #but like even if it were possession you could know for certain was for a short immediate amount of time for lifesaving treatment #...... i would prefer traumatise someone over let them die when i could save them #NOT from a legal stand point. it should be super super super super illegal. #but regardless what Dean did WASNT JUST THAT he kept lying and yes the threat was the same. but mannnnn thats different #that's like. keeping someone on a vent requiring constant care from someone you know they wouldn't want to violate them as such #then gaslighting and abusing them longterm like theres. no way to turn that the same to me #and even if there was. you have to be prepared that violating someones autonomy like that is. a horrific thing they may never forgive you #for. honestly SAM MIGHT HAVE. but he literally just got more abuse. also he got lobotomised and possessed by crowley like god #can you add road trip to this mess and make it even close to wthical

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my heart is an impenetrable fortress!!!!!! *misses everyone forever and is upset about things that happened years ago*

#incoherents

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only problem with having emotions again is I'm not doing it normally.

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remember when someone could see me when I was even made of the sun.

#incoherents

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Bad news guys (back into classpecting)

#the homestuck brainworms keep festering. #anyone want to talk classpecting please #incoherents #hs #homestuck