#...... i would prefer traumatise someone over let them die when i could save them

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

I have a very angsty one for you, for the main boys and the mafiatale/fell boys. S/O had been kidnapped for two weeks now and the kidnappers are asking the skeleton to pay a crazy amount of money or they will hurt S/O. One day, they found a bloody letter in front of their door, with a finger in it. How do they react?

Undertale Sans - He shouldn't have talk to the police. God, he knew he shouldn't have. He's in fetal position on the ground, bones shaking, the letter a few meters away from him. He is terrified now. All of this is way too much out of hand and he doesn't know what to do anymore. He's just so scared all the time. He never asked to be drag into this! Undyne and Papyrus went home only a few minutes after him, and were both horrified when they discovered the finger. Undyne promised that will stop today and rushes to the police station. The brothers could do nothing but wait for long hours, before Undyne called back, saying they had S/O and that the kidnappers are dead. Sans cried for hours in Papyrus' arms after that, and had terrible months of insomnia, scared that someone would hurt his family again.

Undertale Papyrus - Even with this, he is still determined to keep informing Undyne about the situation. He just tries to not think too much of his S/O in pain with a cut finger. If the kidnappers are sending a warning, he's on the right track. Papyrus is refusing to break down now. He is dealing with the all thing with a surprising calm. Thanks to his cold blood, S/O could be found the next day. Papyrus broke down when he saw them at the hospital, beaten up and with an badly injured hand. But they're alive. He is so relieved, and he will make sure it's all better now.

Underswap Sans - He feels terribly guilty. It's because he is a police officer that S/O got kidnapped, and he would rather die than give up on them. His superior tried to make him let go of the case for his own good, but Blue won't listen and tracked the kidnappers all by himself after the finger accident. Once he finds them, he shots them all with cold blood, and makes sure to finish off those who are still alive after this. He doesn't care about the consequences. Only about S/O.

Underswap Papyrus - He finds the money somehow and pay the kidnappers. Honey got too scared they would hurt S/O and prefered to keep everything to himself. He's not risking it. However, when he showed up, the kidnappers decided he was a good target to hurt Blue, who was the one they targeted in the first place, and kidnapped him too. Honey and S/O are saved long days (weeks?) after this, but they are both traumatised and it will take a very long time to get over everything.

Underfell Sans and Papyrus - It doesn't matter which S/O it is, or both. The brothers are ready for a situation like this for a very long time, since it was one of the major risk Underground. And oh boy, both of them are really pissed off and angry. So angry the kidnappers wished they never found them. But they did. And Edge showed them all why his torture skills were so feared Underground. They will go to hell in pain and screams. Red is taking care of S/O.

Horrortale Sans and Papyrus - He got badly triggered by the finger and Willow rushed, hearing him scream in terror. The brothers are both stunned by the discovery, and they don't know what to do. It's way above all the horrors they faces Underground, and this time, they can't kill the threat because the threat is hiding well. That's a few times Willow proposed to tell everything to a police station, but Oak always refused. But with this? He's doing it. They waited way too much. The police officers scold them for contacting them so late, but in the end, they found S/O in a few days. Oak will become overprotective as soon as they're home. He's too scared something else might happened to them. He's not trusting men for dealing with their problems.

Swapfell Sans - Lol, that's cute. The kidnappers didn't really have time for this actually. Nox quickly used his network to localise them as soon as S/O went missing, found them in two hours and sent snipers. S/O is back home for diner, a bit shaken, but alright.

Swapfell Papyrus - He messed up. He doesn't know what he did, but he's sure he messed up. Rus tried to talk about this to Alphys, but now there's a finger in his mail and he's having a panic attack. What if you're dead because he is an idiot? Nox found him on the ground and screamed at him when he discovered the all situation. Rus just cried. He wanted to talk to his brother, but then his brother would have been a target and he didn't know what to do, he was so scared! Nox calms down and puts his network on the case. It took a few days, but they quickly found S/O and exterminate the threat. S/O is in bad shape, but they're alive. Though, a few days later, Rus will quit them, because he is not trusting his future. He prefers to lose S/O and know they are safe elsewhere instead of keeping them and risking their life again because of his brother's rivals.

Fellswap Gold Sans - Wine decided he could take care of this all by himself. He couldn't. He found the kidnappers, but then things went horribly wrong. Threatened, one of the kidnapper shot S/O in front of him, then Wine. Wine managed to kill them all before he dusted on the floor, mortally hit. Wine forgot he was not unbeatable, and that was his dawnfall.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - Coffee immediately went to Wine and that went exactly like above. Now with his S/O and his brother gone, Coffee is mentally destroyed and will be left to grieve for the rest of his life as he thinks he's the only guilty one for all what happened. Alphys and Undyne kinda adopted him to help him get over it, but it didn't do much. Coffee will never be the same again.

Mafiatale Sans - Oh hell no. You threat one member of his family, you threat the all mafia. Everyone is jumping in the boat, and boy, once they found the kidnappers, they're giving them hell. Demon is sorry you had to learn he works in the mafia this way, but right now, he's glad he is because you're alive. That scared him enough to doubt he's working for the good people though.

Mafiatale Papyrus - The kidnappers didn't manage to kidnap S/O because suddenly a huge skeleton broke their knees with a crowbar. Don't mess with Creeper, he's always watching. They're having a nice trip to the mafia cave.

Mafiafell Sans - He doesn't let himself be disturbed by the finger and finds these assholes with the help of his dogs. And when he finds them, they're dead. You don't threat his S/O and gets over with it. He's a professional, he'll teach them what a professional do for real.

Mafiafell Papyrus - Lol. He found the kidnappers in two hours. They shot him on sight and all missed. Torpedo teached them how to shoot someone properly while shooting them one by one. He breaks legs and arms in the process, but you asked for it.

#undertale #underswap #underfell #horrortale #swapfell #fellswap gold #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons #angst #tw hand injury #tw blood #tw murder

[bigtittydemonwife]

The pasta’s love language Part 1

Jeff The Killer 

Protectiveness

 this is the most obviously way the bastard man lets you know he cares about you 

Behind the asshole tsundere attitude and I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude about life lays another smaller asshole and buried deep under that lays the small boy that picked a fight with three bullies to protect his loving brother

Weather it’s him decking o**enderman for being creepy or saving you from a tricky last victim it seems Jeff always knows when your in trouble 

So low-key about it you never really notice his eyes on you until you’re being helped, and even then you never notice how they never leave

Jeff is like a dog, but not the loving wagging tail dog, the asshole that stands on your feet with his sharp claws, rips open your pillows and terrorises the mailman so much your mail is delivered by drone.

but he is also the dog that late at night sneaks onto your bed and whenever there’s someone strange approaching you on the street at night stands in front of you and bares his teeth 

Physical Touch 

Jeff’s love isn’t soft

Jeff’s love is as rough as he is 

Jeff’s touch is soft head-pats after you put someone in their place 

His touch is high fives after a successful mission where your hands linger together

His touch is quick side hugs before he goes off to go do something stupid 

Cheeky neck kisses in front of others to make you flustered 

fingers running though your hair or down your sides whenever he gets bored 

easiest way to get cuddled by this man? after a mission when he’s too tired to act like a tsundere  

Jeff is funnily like a cat in this regards, his cuddles are fun but he has to want to, otherwise it’s deemed as unnecessary

Defensiveness

Jeff isn’t a rational man 

So when he gets jealous his first response is to just stab the guy and run 

Ass a traumatised stubborn teen Jeff is quick to anger but he toe’s the line (aha reference) at when people disrespect you 

Is he an asshole to you all the time?

Yes

Is he the only person who can be mean to you?

Yes

Despite what everyone thinks Jeff does understand the difference between mean teasing and just being an asshole 

And if your someone like me who shows your love to people you care about by teasing and being mean to him he’s gonna understand if your friends are the same way 

What he does not accept is anyone who dares treat you like your lower than them 

thats when he pulls out his knife and commits stabby stabby 

Ticci Toby 

Physical Touch 

Unlike Jeff when Toby is in love he’s a touchy feely person

And once again unlike Jeff when it comes to cuddles Toby is most likely to be the one to initiate cuddles 

On a good day Toby recharges with touch

Most of the time he’s all over you 

His favourite way to cuddle is him on the bottom with you on his chest and your face buried into his neck 

If you cuddle with him like that theres a 97% chance you are not leaving any time soon 

He loves to hold your hands alot, Toby hands are an eternal mystery as sometimes their cold as fuck and others their super warm

After a really bad day when he’s had his alone time and recharged (which can take as long as a week) he just wants to lay with you a bit 

this usually happens when he’s burnt out (missions do not help) 

on days like that he wants to be held in your arms and rest his head on your chest

that way as he falls asleep he can hear your heartbeat and know your safe and alive 

Compliments 

Toby is an asshole, but he’s a lovable asshole 

And on a good day when he’s happy and in love he’s acting like a lovestuck school boy 

He’s the type to give you either the cutest nicknames or the weirdest 

One day he’ll call you love the next Mustard 

 His compliments are the sweetest thing ever because of how special they are 

instead of complimenting something basic about you (well not basic but well seen by everyone) he compliments you on some of the most obscure things that you didn’t think anyone noticed about you 

“I love how fast you talk when you get excited”

“I love easily you get along with sally”

“Your eyes glow in the sunset, it’s really pretty”

Ben Drowned 

Space

Ben is an antisocial person. 

He’s not bitter about it but most of the time he prefers to keep to himself 

Ben understands if his partner isn’t like that, but one of his ways of showing love is giving them space to be their own person 

While Ben does love to spend time with you and share interests and hobbies 

He is a human demon? ghost? thing that loves alone time 

And by giving you space and your own time alone it’s his way of letting you still have freedom to be you

Ben recharges his social battery with a quiet atmosphere so alone time or cuddle time is his favourite thing to do with you when he’s down

Don’t get me wrong he loves cuddles 

But that doesn’t mean he’s going to be clinging to you 24/7

Acts of service

Ben is a patient person 

Despite what people think all his years of gaming have taught him a lot about taking his time and how easier it is to get things done when he’s chill 

So he’s quite alright with doing things for people when they need help 

But even so he’s still his own person 

So he doesn’t usually do it for free unless it’s for someone he really cares about 

And that’s when you come in 

Ben is basically ready to do anything for you 

Will Jeff call him a simp? Yes, will he care? No 

In the end of the day he’s getting ass and Jeff’s not

Anyway 

You could ask him to hack the government for you and he would 

But basic shit is him bringing you snacks he stole from Jeff’s room when your hungry 

He just likes making you happy 

Physical Touch

Ironically enough in complete contradiction of the first one Ben actually loves spending time with you 

Not all the time, otherwise in his opinion the time he gets with you will feel less special 

But when either of you have a bad day he likes to either cuddle you and take a nap or hold you while you both/ he plays video games 

Ben’s a ghost? Thing so his body is always cold 

That’s one of the reasons why he loves holding you so much is feeling your warm body against him 

He likes to nap on your tiddys because 1) he’s perverted and 2) he likes to hear your heartbeat 

He finds the sound of it fascinating 

Sometimes he feels his pulse just because the shock of not feeling anything is fun to him 

Ben is probably one of the easiest pastas to date 

He’s like a house cat

Just give him attention and water and he can fend for himself all good 

Eyeless Jack 

Giving Gifts

Jack in love is a very very confusing thing 

Not because he’s contradictory but because the way he flirts sometimes ties into his demonic animalistic tendencies 

For example 

His gifts to you can sometimes be very sweet things that instead are normal gifts like flowers or chocolates but instead small things like breakfast in bed after a stressful mission (He may or may not use his acting like a doctor as an excuse yes EJ is the mansions doctor fight me bitch)

and then other times it’s organs like a heart or an eyeball, bones or a skull (sometimes animal) and sometimes even teeth, if your lucky most of the time once more they just belong to some pour animal in the woods 

and they say romance is dead

Jacks way of showing love is sorta a mixture of how some birds gift their mates things to flirt and how cats give their owners dead animals

He’s cute I swear 

Acts of Service

Unlike Ben jack isn’t going to drop everything to please you 

but once again the way he shows his love is more casual(?) (I mean he gives you dead things to show his love that ain’t casual)

and if he’s in a good mood/ had a good day then more often than not you’ll find yourself being spoiled in a completely Jack way?

You’re thirsty? He made you both coffee/ tea/ hot chocolate 

You’re on a mission and it’s raining? Take his jacket (not like he’s gonna die from the cold)

You’re hungry? Take a snack from his secret stash that no one else is aloud to go through (though most of the time it’s filled with organs)

Jack hates it when his lover is stressed so he likes to do whatever he can to help them out 

Physical Touch

I hate to sound stereotypical but Jack does this the most because he is extremely touch starved 

Trust me he’s not into PDA at all but behind closed doors he’s finding any excuse he can get to touch you ( with your consent )

he loves sleeping together because usually at night he’s reading or trying to piece together his broken parts

But when he’s holding you in his arms, and whispering how much he loves you in your ear when he’s sure you’re asleep he feels like he doesn’t to be whole 

that he can’t expect you to fix him at all, but being with you is enough to make him feel like instead of being broken, being fractured is alright 

But weather it’s his hand on your cheek on your hands laced together Jack likes to feel your skin against his 

fucckkkk I’m tired, this like took three days, you’re getting a part two when I don’t feel like my head’s trying to kill itself and no I did not spell check this nor will I ever as spellings for pussys and people who graduate school 

#Creepypasta #Creepypasta x Reader #cp #Cp x Reader #Imagines #Headcanons #Ticci Toby #Ticci Toby x Reader #Ticci Toby Imagines #Ben Drowned #Ben Drowned x Reader #Ben Drowned Imagines #Eyeless Jack #Eyeless Jack x Reader #Eyeless Jack Imagines #Jeff The Killer #Jeff The Killer Imagines #Ticci Toby Headcanons #Ben Drowned Headcanons #Eyeless Jack Headcanons #Jeff The Killer Headcanons #x reader

[megumitski]

hello these are the bnha fics i’ve read so far and i just made this to track them for myself. favorites are marked with a 💥! more bakudeku plus tododeku and other ships under the cut.

bakudeku

💥 Bluebird - EtherealBeing (53k)

Dialing a wrong number was no unusual occurrence. Everyone did it once in a while, and Katsuki was well aware of that fact.

However, possessing this knowledge made it no less aggravating for him to discover — a full two minutes into his rant about his day — that he’d been venting his frustrations to a complete stranger. As if that wasn't enough, said stranger was also inexplicably determined to hear his story to its end.

Let’s Be Alone Together - lalazee (3k)

Prompt: Deku being aggressively forward in his pursuit of Bakugou, and how that big oaf would react to someone else actually making the first move.

“Are you going to spend your entire life wishing you’d kissed me or are you gonna grow some balls and fucking do it?”

Bell Pepper - ticklishivories (7k)

Midoriya knew they wouldn’t talk about it. He was right. But he never thought it’d happen again.

spilling over every side - failbender (6k)

No good deed goes unpunished, not when there's a crazy lady with a complex and Lust Quirk parading around the city. By now, Katsuki should probably be used to things blowing up in his face.

be loved - bonnia (5k)

They sit there, in the darkness of the common room, about a few centimeters between them, but miles apart. Somehow, the quiet is companionable. More than it has been in many years. Katsuki knows he’s responsible for the rift between them, and he knows even more that it can’t only be Deku who attempts to mend it.

“Hey,” he says, after a while, and Deku turns to him in question, but Katsuki refuses to look his way. “Touch me again.”

(or: the kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands)

Leftovers - brichibi (6k)

“Did you two make up?”

That. That’s why that fight felt like it was worth it, even if, technically, Izuku can’t answer her. Have they made up? Is this making up?

He actually doesn’t know.

[Or: the house arrest fic where it is, somehow, more awkward to talk through feelings than it is to fight]

lust-drunk - theboykingofhell (8k)

The one where Bakugou tries not to lose his mind to lust, and Midoriya is the useless gay who does nothing to help that matter at all.

💥 Quiet Rapture - lalazee (261k) - inc.

That A/B/O fic where cocky Alpha Bakugou falls in mate-love at first scent, while Midoriya is just a poor bookstore-owning Omega who got his nose punched in is a kid and can't smell a damn thing. Also known as: That time an Alpha had to use his actual personality to woo his mate instead of relying on his scent.

💥 A Demolition Boy & his Cryptid BF - kewltie (8k)

Bakugou of the Demolition Squad is famous for running one of the most popular Youtube channels on the web that regularly blow shit up and jumped off a perfectly good building for shit and giggles. He's also famous for his Cryptid BF™, never appearing on camera except for a few bodyshots and all information on him is kept locked up tighter than Fort Knox, therefore drawing all sort of attention and curiosity toward his mysterious boyfriend.

Deku from Deku Explains is a hopeless chatterbox who is known for uploading 20-30 minutes video that talked about his favorite shows and comics and have one of the most devoted following on Youtube. He also can't seem to shut up about his boyfriend Kacchan, who regularly make his presence on the channel as a disembodied voice.

They should theoretically have nothing in common except a shared platform to host their content and an army of fans with an endless curiosity and devotion to their Youtubers. Vidcon is where we lay our scene and the internet is about to get a rude wake up call.

What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me? - reading_raindrop (8k)

“A-ah B-Bakugou! You dropped some pencils!”

Katsuki stiffened. Kirishima and Kaminari froze. Basically, everyone within earshot stopped what they were doing to look at Izuku like he sprouted a second head. What did he just call him? “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

Katsuki whipped his head towards Izuku with his signature death glare as he stood up from where he picked up the fallen supplies.

“U-um I said you dropped some pencils! I think this eraser might be yours to-”

“No. What the fuck did you just call me?”

Izuku starts calling him Bakugou and it pisses the explosive teen off a lot more than he thought it would

💥 take care - Chrome (2k)

There are words to say stay safe, I’ll miss you, I love you, but Kacchan has always preferred to leave things unspoken. Izuku isn’t much with languages, but he thinks he’s figured out this one.

---

“Emotional constipation manifested as over-the-top housewifery?” Mina asks. Before Izuku can say that is not what he meant at all, she nods. “Yeah, I can see it.”

Just Look At Me - Colourcubify (52k) - dnf

Midoriya is completely happy with his life. Nope, not one single regret in his twenty-seven years. He especially doesn't regret running into his old childhood friend/bully after almost ten years, nor does he regret spilling coffee all over his very expensive looking suit. How nice it will be to die with no regrets. ~~~~ AKA the sugar daddy AU I meant to be a one shot, that turned into a full fledged story.

A Nest for the Best - Camellia_Sinensis (1k)

Deku’s been nesting and asking everyone in 1-A for pieces of clothing for his horde. Everyone, that is, except Katsuki. Cue the jealousy.

unforgiving - i_write_emotion (19k)

Deku is hit with a quirk that takes away his ability to forgive, and Bakugou’s world comes crashing down. Quirkless!Deku. Pro-hero!Bakugou.

@ Deku WRONG CHAT - katyastark (16k) - inc.

Deku: THE LENGTHS I WOULD GO TO JUST LICK THE SWEAT OFF HIS ABS hnnnnnghhh

Deku: or! like! It doesn’t even have to be his abs! It could be anywhere else! I’m not picky!

Pinky: excuse me what

ChargeDolt: OMG

Uravity: @Deku WRONG CHAT

I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married. - InkspillsNotebook (6k)

Ta-Da!!!! I hope you all enjoy the finished product!!! I'm sorry (not sorry) I broke a lot of you when I first posted this to tumblr!!

Procrastination - capncapk (5k)

But it is still surprising to see his more-than-friend-but-also-lover-he-guesses in his office seeking attention though Izuku already turned him down.

Usually he'll get a text of 'wyd?' followed by a time and place if Izuku responds with a confirmation, and silence if he's busy.

Or slammed into the wall in the agency's shower for a quickie if no one was around, which despite his anxiety, he often acquiesces to.

While You Were Sleeping - Belkacaramelka (71k)

The one where quirkless fanboy Midoriya Izuku rescues Pro Hero Todoroki Shouto, gets mistaken as his fiancé while he is in a coma, and gets caught up in the most unlikely fake engagement... until his childhood enemy and Todoroki's classmate Bakugou Katsuki tries to catch him out, and they both end up discovering a lot more about each other than they'd expected.

Quirkless AU based on the film; endgame BakuDeku. -- Katsuki didn’t know when the change had happened: how he had gone from asking why Todoroki chose Deku of all people, to wondering why it was Todoroki that Deku chose. Troublesome Deku, who cooed like an idiot at cats, tripped at a random catcall and sang badly. Who, despite everything, proved that it wasn’t the quirk that defined a person. Deku, who was too much, not his, and undeniably off limits to begin with.

briar roses (and hundred years of sleep) - vannral (16k)

In complete honesty, no one who knows the Class 3-A should be surprised anymore. Izuku is asleep.

In which Izuku is hit by a ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Quirk, Class 3-A tries to find his True Love and get them to kiss him, and Katsuki’s very angry about it all.

Yes, They’re All Safe - teaandtumblr (5k)

Villains have entered UA grounds and are disposed of just as quickly, but that doesn't mean a headcount of the students doesn't need to be done. Toshinori would admit, he wasn't quite prepared for what he found in Bakugou Katsuki's room.

💥 all choked up - spicyrabbit (5k)

Bakugou Katsuki had a habit of turning away from the heard. At 16, he does this by coming to terms with wanting, desperately, to see his childhood friend cry.

💥 May I take your order, dipshit? - supercrunch (6k)

So, like, maybe Bakugou wasn’t really the best choice for this whole pizza delivery shindig.

(Midoriya in love, Bakugou in denial, and way, way too much cheese.

A BakuDeku romance in thirty minutes or less. )

blooms every hour - dynamighttiddy (7k)

“It’s you, okay?!” Deku screams. “It’s you. And I know you’ll never love me back, so -” Deku wipes his eyes and straightens. “So just leave it.”

-----

Deku has hanahaki, and Katsuki doesn't know how to save him.

all choked up - dynamighttiddy (7k)

“Deku, what the fuck are you doing?!”

Izuku asks Kacchan to help him train blackwhip. Things don't exactly go according to plan.

A Fight To The Death - iknewaman (10k)

Izuku isn’t competitive by nature, but when the blond, cocky asshole from the other table’s team gets involved he suddenly becomes hellbent on winning.

Rival Pub Quiz AU

💥 Like the Moon - osakakitty (15k)

Katsuki Bakugo is having constant, erotic dreams about Izuku Midoriya. He isn’t sure why, but they won’t go away. In order to make them stop, he needs to figure out what Izuku Midoriya means to him.

Canon-verse story in which Bakugo is confused about his feelings for Midoriya, and doesn’t know what he wants. Besides a good night’s sleep.

💥 We Wear Chains on the Weekend - surveycorpsjean (35k)

Well, in a day of revelations, it turns out that Izuku isn't as vanilla as Katsuki previously thought. Unfortunately, that fascinating discovery is overshadowed by Izuku's dumbassery, because he has zero concept of aftercare.

"Don't go to anyone else," Katsuki says, because screw it. He can do a better job anyways.

Or; Katsuki finds Izuku on a bad drop.

take me out to dinner first - dynamighttiddy (3k)

“Kacchan,” Deku chides. “What’s going on?”

Katsuki takes a deep breath.

He trusts Deku with his life. He can trust him with this, too.

“Have sex with me.”

-----

Katsuki Bakugou is one of the only virgins left in class 3-A - and with graduation just around the corner, he's desperate to change that.

💥 that ultra kind of love - dynamighttiddy (11k)

“So, uh,” Kirishima starts. “Was that your first kiss?” he whispers, almost sheepish. Katsuki’s stomach drops, and he freezes. Memories of green eyes and freckles and soft lips flash behind his eyelids. “Yeah,” he lies easily. “That was my first kiss.”

-----

In which Bakugou pretends Kirishima is his first kiss, amongst other things.

to the moon and back - kewltie (1k)

"He gets stupid when he's drunk," Katsuki seethes in his seat as he watches Izuku croon love notes into Uraraka's throat. He’d never met a worst lightweight then Deku, who become some kind of demented affectionate monster.

💥 Bridges - supercrunch (18k)

Yaomomo sighs. “We’ve got a little bit of a situation, Bakugou. Ashi—uhm, somebody might have accidentally signed you up for that modelling gig.”

Katsuki holds up a hand. "So what you’re telling me here," he says, "is that you told Calvin Klein I would model for them. In my underwear.”

Ashido sinks behind a desk to hide. “Yes.”

(The thing is, they really do need the money. And Katsuki's technically the leader of this bunch of morons, so he finds himself taking the job even though his pride will never recover. And even though nobody thought to tell him that he'd be working with his ex-boyfriend. You know, the cute freckled guy from high school who went and broke his heart.

So, yeah. This whole situation kind of sucks.)

Crescendo - supercrunch - inc. (4k)

(Izuku's band is on their way to the top of the charts. But the real star, he thinks, is the drummer.)

Guilty Kiss - osakakitty (1k)

He could feel Midoriya's eyes on him. Even though he knew it was wrong, Bakugo still wet his lips in anticipation.

(Canon-verse) A short story about making out in a closet. It's messy, but so is their relationship.

💥 Surfaces - surveycorpsjean (25k)

Katsuki has a new girlfriend, but something isn't right.

As impossible as it is, Izuku can't help but wonder what it'd be like to be called Katsuki's girl.

Classical conditioning - supercrunch (8k)

(or: how to trick a boy into going out with you.)

Alright. Maybe his idiot friends had a point, Katsuki thinks as he shoulders open the front door. His mother’s in the living room drinking coffee. Katsuki kicks off his shoes and stomps over. “Am I charming?” he demands, blocking the TV.

Mitsuki pats his cheek. “Oh, hon. Not at all.”

💥 Dance Bunny - EllaBesmirched (17k)

Katsuki Bakugou spends most week nights by himself, sitting in a corner at his local strip club and passing time until he feels tired enough to sleep. Work leaves him stressed and the new city he moved to a year ago is just different enough that he can't sleep at night and can't seem to get comfortable no matter where he is.

When he finally changes up his schedule and decides to head to the club on a Saturday night, he is instantly infatuated with a part-time dancer who can do things with his body that Katsuki didn't even know were possible. The dancer calls himself Bunny. By the second lap dance, Katsuki realizes he is in trouble.

but the entrails are the best part! - supercrunch (15k)

The boy straightens up. He’s about half a head shorter than Katsuki, face soft and youthful and sweet. He turns to look at him properly. His dark hair shines in the dying light, basket of blooms looped over one arm and mouth quirked into a tiny half-smile. The sun hits his face and makes his eyes a bright greeny-gold, just like emeralds.

Katsuki likes emeralds.

“Pretty,” he says, reaching out and picking the stranger up around the middle. He’s surprisingly heavy, although Katsuki doesn’t mind. “I like you. Come see my nest.”

The boy hits him.

He’s stronger than he looks, turns out. Katsuki drops him and falls onto his back, pain blooming across his face. Birds sing. The sky’s a lovely shade of orange, clouds floating lazily by. The boy scarpers. He leaves his basket of flowers behind, footsteps thumping on the ground and fading away as he escapes.

The sun sets. Katsuki, lying flat on his back with a bloody nose, decides he’s just fallen in love.

tododeku

(You Know You’re Really) Cute - ladyhoneydarlinglove (2k)

Kirishima poses the question, who’s the cutest boy in Class 1-A? The answers kind of surprise everyone, especially Midoriya.

Everything Except - Pouler (28k)

"In retrospect, Midoriya probably should’ve realized the moment they were enveloped in a glittering pink cloud that something was about to go Very Wrong."

After an encounter with a unique villain threatens to change the nature of their partnership, Midoriya must find a way to get things back to normal between him and Todoroki. That is, if he's certain that getting 'back to normal' is what he really wants...

count your blessings, not your flaws - PitViperOfDoom (7k)

Midoriya Izuku has never been asked out, confessed to, or flirted with, except as a joke.

Riddles in the Heart - PitViperOfDoom (19k)

The law is clear: whoever correctly answers three riddles will marry the prince, while all who fail are to be executed. The people live in fear as more challengers try and fail, and the throne grows bloodier with every passing year. But a young prince, nameless and in exile from his home, believes there may be more to this brutal challenge than meets the eye.

Of course, there's only one way to find out: ring the gong, and take the trial.

Late bloomer - Nohaljiachi (10k)

That’s why when they’ve found themselves face to face on the ring of the sport festival once more, for the third time ever since they’ve met each other, and Izuku smiled at him, eager and challenging, self-confident but never full of himself, Shouto blinked, dazed and shocked, in realizing just how blindingly beautiful his best friend was. The way Izuku’s white shirt clung on his muscles, the little peek of his collar bone and the hard lines of his pecs visible under it, the way his thighs curved and filled the school gym uniform.

‘Oh, fuck—‘ Shouto thought, his head spinning, feeling like he just got run over by a freight train. ‘Shit. He’s- hot?’

Burn and Breathe - PitViperOfDoom (11k)

Soulmates are connected through pain, and some bonds have more to share than others. Todoroki Shouto wishes he could reject his soulmate. Midoriya wants nothing more than to protect his own.

one string, fit for a bow - furihatachlookie (5k)

There was no magical moment that played a part in Midoriya's realization that he liked Todoroki. The thin red string that greeted him every time he looked down at his hand was an obvious factor, yes, but it wasn't love at first sight either.

It sorta just... happened over time.

fire and feelings - kagshina (8k)

“Uh…” he starts, eyes widening. “Your finger’s on fire.”

Todoroki’s face scrunches together, confused, and then he looks down, noticing the flame. Midoriya watches as shock flashes across Todoroki’s face, and then horror, and then finally settles on embarrassment as he puts out the flame.

“Shit,” Todoroki mumbles, and Midoriya’s lip curves upward.

bakutododeku 

💥 Fire in the Mountains - EllaBesmirched (168k)

“I’ll do it.”

Enji froze, fingers curling into a fist at his side, and didn’t turn around.

Shouto froze too, feeling his own eyes widen in shock at the words that had come out of his mouth, at the fact that he had actually stood up, followed his father out of the room, and dashed after him all just to say… he’d do it? He would do it? Him. Shouto Todoroki. He would--

Enji finally turned around and fixed Shouto with an expression so scathing, Shouto had to fight to keep his chin raised. “You’ll marry the Barbarian King.”

Shouto blinked. “Yes.”

The Ballad of Love and Hate - EllaBesmirched (6k)

After eight painfully long years, Katsuki finally has Izuku back. He's determined to keep him this time, and to do that, he knows there are some things he has to say.

(mis)matched - ethydium (12k)

Midoriya doesn't hate the idea of finding one's soulmate, even though he had long since given up on finding his own. And then Bakugou and Todoroki match, and while he's happy for them, his heart breaks from all the unsaid things he feels for them.

Or:

Midoriya pines and suffers his way to his own happy ending.

pillowed by love - ethydium (21k)

As a prank, Uraraka gets Midoriya a body pillow (dakimakura) with the image of Bakugou printed on it. Then another one with Todoroki's picture. Chaos ensues.

other

For who could learn to love a beast? - supercrunch (4k) - bakutodo

Bakugou takes a deep breath and steps out into the living room, eyes automatically adjusting to the change in light. There’s a boy hanging up his coat in the hall. He’s handsome, albeit in an annoying way, hair dyed two colours to match his heterochromia and skin pale and perfect and smooth. He looks expensive. “Bakugou.”

“That’s me,” Bakugou says. “You’re younger than I expected.”

“I’m older than I look.”

(Deku was right, damn him. Pretty boys are Bakugou's type.)

Want it All - surveycorpsjean (29k) - kiribakutododeku

“Hey, so..." Eijirou grins. "Can we ask you guys a question?"

Frankendick and the Great Acid Fiasco - EllaBesmirched (11k) - shiggyxdabi

Dabi had been intending to spend a very nice Saturday getting stoned and plotting murder, thank you very much, but when a trio of UA brats on enough L to kill a Beatle accidentally dose him and two other unsuspecting homicidal maniacs, Dabi has to change his plans a bit. Apparently no else around here knows how to trip balls and fucking enjoy it.

The Twitter - EllaBesmirched (8k) - tododenki

Shouto never really intended for anyone to find his secret Twitter account. He certainly didn't intend for Kaminari to see Shouto's thirst tweets about him. Luckily, Kaminari doesn't seem to mind.

pray you catch me - supercrunch (4k)

Katsuki pushes her shirt up to kiss her stomach. It’s silly, how it makes her heart flutter, how Izuku’s whispered I love you threatens to make her cry all over again. They’re unwrapping her from her clothes. They won’t let her hide, she thinks numbly. Won’t let her curl in on herself like she’s something dirty, Katsuki’s hands tugging off her underwear so she’s naked and exposed between them. “I,” she says breathlessly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying. I’m just being dumb.”

Izuku shushes her. Another tear trickles down her cheek and into her ear. He kisses it away, humming, brushing her bangs off her forehead so he can press his mouth between her brows. “You have every right to be upset. We’ll deal with him later. For now just let us take care of you.”

“She’ll get the message once you stop talking and fuck her,” Katsuki says, slipping his fingers into her. She clenches around him and shudders. “Gonna eat you out ‘til you forget how to move. Now put that fucking motor mouth to good use, Deku.”

#bnha #fic rec #mha #my hero academia #bakudeku #tododeku #bakutododeku #i do want to start reading kiribaku drop some recs pls #im just in a bakudeku hole #im not complaining i like it here #bnha fic rec #mha fic rec

[bloodraven55]

Dude I just saw the stupidest take of my life, someone waa like ' if you can forgive catra then you should be able to forgive shadow weaver because they are basically the same and catra never really apologized for anything and shadow weaver was also abused' It's like adam apologists all over again shitting on ilia even though she actually had remorse for her actions and tried to make good choices i am a f salt mine today literally fuming :(

Yeah that's some bullshit. See, here's the thing. It's fine if personally you weren't invested in Catra and her story, or if you never cared about her and Adora's relationship. We all have personal preferences and some stuff just won't be to your taste! But you can acknowledge that something is good without liking it yourself, and without trying to twist the facts to prove that your opinion is correct.

So for interest's sake let's break this down point by point.

“[Catra and Shadow Weaver] are basically the same.”

Catra is a highly traumatised teenager who was raised without a single positive role model or example of healthy behaviour, while being put through constant verbal and physical abuse from her guardian/parental figure which made her feel completely worthless and inferior to everyone, and as a result developed self-destructive tendencies and damaging defence mechanisms which caused her to lash out at people to avoid being hurt again.

Shadow Weaver is a fully grown adult who knowingly and insidiously abused and manipulated both Catra and Adora throughout their entire lives up until they were approaching adulthood and previously risked the life of a literal child performing a dangerous spell because of her desire for power clouding her reason. She was never shown to grow up in a horrifically negative environment and the trauma she suffered during the Spell of Obtainment was primarily her own doing.

There's a parallel to Catra in that Shadow Weaver also felt neglected and taken for granted by her mentor figures, but they are not remotely the same.

“Catra never really apologised for anything.”

During Season 5 Catra apologises on no less than three separate occasions (to Adora in S5E3, to Entrapta in S5E6, and again to Adora in S5E8) and she also tries to apologise to Scorpia on two separate occasions but can't because the first time Scorpia is brainwashed and the second time Scorpia hugs her before she can finish. And not a single one of those times does she attempt to justify anything she did, or attempt to put any of the responsibility on other people.

Catra has repeatedly acknowledged her mistakes and sincerely expressed regret for them without any blame shifting or dismissing the pain she caused, and to say otherwise is flat out not true.

“Shadow Weaver was also abused.”

I sort of already covered this, but yeah, this point also doesn't hold up at all. We're shown that Shadow Weaver felt ignored and sidelined by the other sorcerors, but never that she was deliberately stripped of her self esteem and repeatedly mistreated to the point of torture.

Comparing Shadow Weaver's frustration at her colleague's unwillingness to take extreme risks which could have equally severe consequences to Catra being constantly treated like literal garbage and ““punished”” with magic from when she was still just a child is ridiculous.

“Catra's toxicity towards Scorpia was the same as Shadow Weaver's abuse of Adora and Catra.”

They're the same in that neither situation was remotely okay. But again, equating a traumatised victim of child abuse projecting that cycle of abuse onto someone else to the perpetrator of said child abuse who began that cycle in the first place is, uh... Not a Good Take.

This isn't to excuse anything about the way Catra treated Scorpia or anyone else she hurt—those actions were entirely her own and she had to take responsibility for them and face the consequences—but to say those two examples are identical is wrong.

“Shadow Weaver deserved a redemption arc.”

No, she didn't. Because as you say, she never took any of the necessary steps to redeem herself.

Noelle has said that Shadow Weaver's death wasn't a redemption, and I also remember her saying that as far as Shadow Weaver was concerned, once she was working with the Rebellion she considered herself redeemed and one of the good guys. Which is exactly why Shadow Weaver never deserved redemption, because she didn't even understand that she needed to redeem herself.

Shadow Weaver never once hesitated over her decisions or showed any remorse for what she did to Catra and Adora. She never apologised to anyone, and the only truly good thing she ever did was to die so that her victims would be free of her forever. But even then, her “you're welcome” to Catra shows that she still wasn't being truly selfless and felt like she was obligated to some measure of forgiveness for doing the absolute bare minimum.

On the other hand, let's look at some of the main things Catra does in Season 5 as part of her redemption arc.

She saves Glimmer, risking her life and allowing herself to be tortured similarly to how Shadow Weaver used to ““punish”” her with her magic, I might add and brainwashed in an attempt to keep Adora safe.

She chooses to try and discover Horde Prime's plans by looking into his mind using her chip, even though it means reliving a hugely traumatic experience, in an attempt to help Adora and the Rebellion against Horde Prime.

She literally throws herself headfirst into fire with zero hesitation to try and rescue Adora.

She stays behind to fight what is essentially a giant potentially deadly monster alone, once again to protect Adora and hopefully allow her to save Etheria.

She lets herself be physically attacked by members of the Rebellion on multiple occasions without fighting back or holding onto any bitterness over it because she knows it's warranted.

She offers or at least tries to offer genuine apologies to the people she hurt the most (Adora, Entrapta, and Scorpia) without attempting to excuse any of her wrongdoing and without any expectation of forgiveness.

Catra achieves zero personal gain through any of these actions. They are wholly selfless acts, and that's how she proves that she's actually changing for the better. Not with one single instance of doing a decent thing which comes with a “you're welcome” as a final guilt trip, but with repeated good choices which she makes without demanding any sort of reward for them.

To give more examples:

In Episode 3, Catra starts to learn how to apologise for the things she did and express the regret she feels over her actions.

In Episode 6, Catra starts to learn how to let herself be vulnerable, and how to openly and honestly ask for the things she wants instead of assuming other people already know and then lashing out when they don't understand. She also lets Adora set clear boundaries without reacting badly, and manages to share her feelings knowing that Adora might choose to reject her or walk away.

In Episode 8, Catra starts to learn that feeling exposed and embarrassed isn't always a bad thing, and that when the rest of the group tease her it's a sign of them beginning to accept her rather than them mocking her— that they're laughing with her, rather than at her. She also shows that she's making progress towards working through her issues by finding ways to manage her anger rather than lashing out.

In Episode 9, Catra tries to reassure Netossa that Spinnerella will be okay, demonstrating that she's starting to learn how to empathise with other people more and express sympathy for their struggles.

In Episode 10, Catra is willing to go back to the Fright Zone with Adora and the others, a.k.a. return to the place which is the source of most of her trauma, because she knows it's what has to be done.

In Episode 11, Catra decides to go to Mystacor with Adora and the others even though it's Shadow Weaver's idea, a.k.a. follow a plan thought up by the woman who's the source of most of her trauma, because she knows it's what has to be done. She also willingly lets Adora go to the Heart and potentially sacrifice herself which has literally been Catra's greatest fear throughout this entire season, because she accepts that it's Adora's choice to make and finally understands that Adora's priority will always be the greater good and she can't and shouldn't change that.

In Episode 13, Catra chooses to stay by Adora's side no matter what, regardless of whether Adora feels the same way about her, because she's reached a place where she's able to accept that her feelings might not be reciprocated and she still wants to be there for Adora in any way necessary even so— even if it means watching the love of her life die in front of her.

Catra spends the entire season going through the personal growth necessary to become a better person and learn how to have healthy connections with people. She makes the effort to improve time after time and dedicates herself to the ongoing job of breaking her toxic tendencies and making up for everything she did. If you still don't believe that she deserved to find peace and love after all of that then I can't make you, but you can't just ignore everything that happened in the show.

tl;dr - you don't have to like Catra or her arc, but she more than earned her happy ending.

#she ra #spop #catra #she ra catra #spop catra #shadow weaver #she ra shadow weaver #spop shadow weaver #she ra spoilers #spop spoilers #she ra analysis #spop analysis #she ra meta #spop meta #asks #anon asks #raven answers y'all

[itwillbeall-dwight]

trials in error

danny "jed olsen" johnson | the ghost face/felix richter; fluff and angst; canon-typical violence; enemies to fwb to lovers to enemies lmao; 5677 words

a/n: did i finish two fics in the same day? yes i did. i’ve had this done since one in the morning but didn’t want to post it them bc no one would see it by the time it was flushed out of the tag bc tumblr hates fic writers for real actually.

my friend booker is to blame for this. they mentioned this pair to me offhandedly but then i turned around and made this, and basically learned 2 things. 1) writing danny is fun, and 2) i have. a lot of feelings. about them.

while i have a couple of long pieces to finish, requests are still open, so if you liked this and would like smthn written, feel free to shoot me an ask!

likes < reblogs, any comments in the tags are appreciated

ao3 mirror in the reblogs!

Preview: “Tell you what.” He folded his arms over the top of the generator, looking the man in the face as he rested the side of his head against his forearm. “You’re still a noob, and I can’t be having anything fun with that. I’ll give you, hm… 10 seconds to run and hide, phone a friend, you know… not die, but after that, you’re all mine. Sound good?” The blonde remained silent, blinking at him in bewilderment. That was as good of an answer as any. “Alright. 10-” “Ah, wait, but what about-” “-9-” He didn’t say anything after that, dropping the wires in his hands and taking off into a sprint, stumbling as he stood to his full height - and oh boy, was he a tall guy - and turned a corner of old cars. Danny chuckled, standing up to rest his ass against the side of the gen, flipping his knife in his hand as he kept counting down. “8… 7… 6-5-4-3-2-1- ok, here we go.”

Another day, another trial. As the fog cleared from his vision, the Ghostface flipped his small knife in his hand, feeling the silent breeze whistle through the tendrils on his uniform. The Autohaven Wreckers was as sorry of a sight as it always was, but one that he’d grown quite accustomed to use as his playground. From the sight of the old garage, he could almost pick out memories of all the times he’d scared the pants off of the poor survivors, which he took more than enough pleasure in doing. Danny looked around, still absently flipping his knife in his hand as he formulated a plan, taking a brief moment to watch the ever-present moonlight glint off of the freshly cleaned blade before he looked up once more, a slow grin forming behind the mask as the game began.

 Poor Meg thought he was stupid, thinking she’d lost him at a simple enough loop around a pile of tires, all up until he pulled her off of her generator with a cackle (“screw you, creep” she said as she slammed her fists into the back of his shoulder - changed her tune real quick after he slid a hook into hers). Nea didn’t hesitate in giving him the runaround, powering a generator in his face and slamming a locker door into him for good measure. Danny knew the girl would throw a palette at him if she had the chance - she was the most fun to play with. But he soon lost her, so soon after catching her, but it was that detective asshole that ruined their fun, as he’d shone a damn flashlight in his eyes while he had Nea on his shoulder, finally, enough for her to wiggle free and run off again. And by the time his vision had cleared, the both of them had gone. Danny growled - as much as he enjoyed fun, it was only when he was winning was it any good.

 It was while he was stalking around the battered old killer shack looking for the bastard that he saw him for the first time. Blonde hair, broad shoulders, and a fancy suit that just screamed rich, with a touch of “please tear me off or splatter me in blood, both sound great”. A man he didn’t recognize, sat on a generator, eyes darting around as he worked the best he could with shaking hands, clearly on edge about being left on his own to work. Whatever annoyance he had in him melted like hot wax, as he approached, slowly, knowing this guy would be a wonderful victim to mess with. The killer’s fingers curled around the edge of the wall as he watched the man, the way he swallowed and sighed, muttering to himself in reassurance in a tongue that sounded familiar to him, too quiet to tell. The generator got louder and louder, its mechanisms and inner parts in tune as the man worked his magic, almost letting himself smile in triumph as he grabbed another wire.

“Hey there, handsome.”

A voice from behind his neck, raspy and deep, caused him to jump, a spark sending the generator into smoke as he turned, face going white as he pushed his back against the wall.

Oh, he was right. He was going to be fun, all right. Danny chuckled. “Oh, sorry. Did I scare you? Tend to do that. It’s in my… nature.”

The man swallowed, glancing around for any kind of help, seeming to find none as his attention turned back to the killed, speaking in a low, rich voice, though it shook from fear. “Don’t you have… things, to be stabbing?”

“Why, is that an invitation?” He laughed again, leaning up against the generator and crossing one leg over the other. “Nah, I’m just kiddin’. Ain’t it enough to get to know the new neighbours? Haven’t seen you around before, pretty boy. They smuggled you in, huh?”

“I… suppose.”

He hummed, tapping the blade of his knife against the metal of his knife, the clanging making the survivor jump. Oh, bless him - well and truly, it was a mistake for him to get caught up here… but a happy mistake, to be sure. “Got a name?”

“Huh?”

“Like I said, I like to know the neighbours, ya know… real close and personal. A preference. Bit of normalcy. Soooo…”

He remained silent. So he was a little bit smarter than what he’d look like, from the way he was shaking in his rich white boots. Impressive.

“Tell you what.” He folded his arms over the top of the generator, looking the man in the face as he rested the side of his head against his forearm. “You’re still a noob, and I can’t be having anything fun with that. I’ll give you, hm… 10 seconds to run and hide, phone a friend, you know… not die, but after that, you’re all mine. Sound good?”

The blonde remained silent, blinking at him in bewilderment. That was as good of an answer as any. 

“Alright. 10-”

“Ah, wait, but what about-”

“-9-”

He didn’t say anything after that, dropping the wires in his hands and taking off into a sprint, stumbling as he stood to his full height - and oh boy, was he a tall guy - and turned a corner of old cars.

Danny chuckled, standing up to rest his ass against the side of the gen, flipping his knife in his hand as he kept counting down. “8… 7… 6-5-4-3-2-1- ok, here we go.”

 Curious as it was, he lost the blonde beauty soon after he let him go, instead finding Meg oddly open about where she was, spriting right into his vision. Not that he was complaining; a game was a game, and if the runner decided that she wanted to play tag, then who was he to turn her down? Especially when she was so easy to catch… though as soon as she was hooked, flashlight clicking and Swedish profanities in his ear was enough to make him chase after Nea rather than go after his original chase once again… they were painting a target on their back, and for what? To save the new guy’s skin? He wasn’t an idiot. Just surprised that some of them had the compassion.

 Well, they managed to get another generator done, but the two girls were dead, and a soon injured Tapp was surely soon to follow them. A means to an end, it seemed, as his knife plunged into the detective’s side and sent him crashing into the dirt with a grunt of pain, rolling over onto his back with one eye open, the other wincing in pain, the shadow of the killer cast over him in the moonlight as he wiped his blade.

“OK, Detective, we’ll make this real nice and simple.” He crouched down next to the survivor, taking note of how the blood pooled around him as he laid on his back, staring up at him. “Tell me where your new friend is hiding, and I’ll let you live.”

Silence.

“C’mon, it’s not that hard of a choice to make. I’ve heard getting sacrificed is long and painful, like your insides are getting ripped at over and over again until, poof, you’re back again, at that cozy little campfire, only a little bit more traumatised to show for it. Now, you want that to happen to only one of you, or both of you, hm?”

Tapp looked away, seeming to ponder the possibility.

“Self-preservation instincts, Detective. I know you have them.” He tapped his knife into the dirt. Humans were fickle beings, easily swayed when their life was on the line.

The detective sighed, chest shaking from the strain. “Fine. I know where he’s hiding. But I can’t… breathe right, with a knife in my chest, so come a little closer.”

Danny blinked, but surely he didn’t have any more tricks up his sleeve, so he did as he was told, for once in his life, letting his mask get inches away. “Yes?”

A moment of silence, before there was a whisper in reply, backed by the assurance of an idiot who knew he was going to die regardless, as he spat blood pooling in his mouth onto the mask of the ghost almost pressed against his own. “Go fuck yourself.”

He was almost stunned at the bravado, leaning away with a chuckle, though he gritted his teeth through it. “Oh, you’re a funny man. Absolutely hilarious, you know that?” But still, that was as good of an affirmation of choice as he was going to get from someone so stubborn, so Danny grabbed him by the front of his vest and hoisted him up onto his shoulder.

 The screaming echoed as the heavens opened up, the Entity surely pleased with her feast for the evening, but he still wasn’t done… oh no, far from it. There was still one more handsome devil to track down. Danny rolled his neck, grinning at the gentle cracks from the strain, strolling more than hunting, at this point, for the well-kept survivor he didn’t know the name of, but was practically dying to know. He almost skipped up the crane, looking out of the window as Rapunzel did out of her tower window, before chuckling to himself and hoisting himself out. Danny tapped his blade against his hand, almost going to begin whistling if not for the angelic cries coming from the hill just close by. A grin overtook him, as he chased the calls of cherubs from the ground below.

 He slammed that hatch shut with a satisfied sigh, throwing his knife between his hands as he looked around and arched his neck for the doors. Normally the whelps would just give up at this point, but the guy was new, and probably didn’t know what was best for him. Still, the doors were easily within view, so if he made it out of this alive… well, he wouldn’t, so no promise needed to be made. The killer chuckled to himself, finally settling on wrapping his fingers around the handle of his blade, curling one by one, slowly and deliberately for no one in particular, before setting off to take part in the real game that had begun.

 He had no idea how he did it. Perhaps Danny had become too complacent in his work. But that handsome devil slipped past him more than once, enough for him to open up a gate and tiptoe his nice ass into certain safety. The survivor stared at him from inside the gate as he walked past in bewilderment, shaking like a dog in the rain that was just waiting to be gutted, battered old medkit in hand. And while he was stunned, the man swallowed, nodded, and left the trial head high, descending back into the fog as it began to consume the old gas station, leaving Danny to stare into darkness, barely blinking.

 Well, that was interesting, wasn’t it?

—

His name was Felix, he’d learned from the pig in the meat plant, having overheard it while she watched him blow the generator out by accident and got cursed out by the familiar bane-of-their-existence Swede. German, from the way he’d spoken to Danny by the generator in their first encounter, high up on the social ladder from the way he dressed (unless he’d gotten all dressed up just to see him? Funny, that would be, but very unlikely), shaken by the fog and with a disposition not unlike a lost dog. 

 And yet, despite his nerves and cluelessness to the fog, he always seemed to escape him. He didn’t know how he did it, but from finding hatch to evading the hooks, Felix somehow managed to keep him on his toes. Trials were somehow more exciting, knowing there was a challenge, and a chance to catch he who refused to be caught. Danny knew he was going to revel in the moment, when it eventually came - there was no way someone could be better than him, when he was so in his element.

So, after not seeing the man for the entire trial while hunting through the streets of Badham, catching him at the gate seemed like a dream come true. And he was none the wiser, as Danny quickly slammed his hand against the wall next to the lever, making him jump and freeze, pulling his hand away, two bright lights reflecting onto his face. “And so we meet again.”

“S-so we do.” He ran a hand through his hair before it found a place at the back of his neck, quietly taking a few steps back.

“Aht, aht. I wouldn’t run. I’ll just find you again anyways.”

He stopped. 

“...You know, I don’t quite know how you do it. It’s like you’re avoiding me on purpose.”

“That is… the point, is it not?”

“Oh, how rude- people come here to see me, surely. I’m a spectacle; call me a master at my craft.”

Felix chuckled - god, he chuckled, though it was riddled with nerves, but it most certainly happened, and sounded great - fiddling with the cufflinks on the sleeves of his suit jacket as his back straightened a little, as if flicking a switch to go from sorry sight to professional businessman. “Well, I… don’t suppose you’d be willing to show me why?”

He blinked. “Are you… flirting with me?”

“Am I?”

Danny wasn’t sure if the question was rhetorical or not, from the way he stood beside the lever at the gate, leaning a shoulder against the brick and folding his arms across his strong, broad chest (the way his shirt was unbuttoned just so was something Danny now noticed, and couldn’t stop noticing, barely tearing his eyes away to meet his gaze again) with an almost expectant look. “You’re... a weird one.”

“I… suppose so. Anyone normal would have ignored you and already run for their lives.”

The killer chuckled. “You’re not… entirely wrong. But I gotta say, I do like that. Among… other things.”

Though his eyes weren’t visible, it was as if the survivor knew exactly where he was looking, coughing and covering his mouth with the side of his fist. How cute was that?

He almost couldn’t contain himself. But he managed, somehow, not sure where this whole thing was going, but more than ready to go along for the ride. “Say… how far are you willing to ask that question, anyway? You really wanna know that bad, huh?”

Felix swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment before looking up again, with his piercing blue gaze, lips parting just so into a coy little smile. “Let’s find out, shall we?”

Danny had never thought a man of such sophistication was willing to whore himself out for freedom, but sure enough, he himself opened the gate to let the German go, almost sad to see him leave (though it wouldn’t be for long), but very much enjoying the view.

 He paused. He was supposed to catch him and kill him, wasn’t he? Danny frowned, somewhat troubled, but tried to justify it as returning to old habits in Roseville, as he left the gate, and waited for the fog to consume him again, taking a seat just outside the battered old preschool.

—

It was like the attraction of magnets with twice the force as soon as they saw each other, wasting no time as suddenly Felix’s back was slammed into a tree, a loose and cold gloved hand finding its way up his shirt, sending a shiver up his spine for another reason as he felt lips hit his, with a hunger and desperation he was not expecting but certainly didn’t mind reciprocating, as Danny soon found out. And he wasn’t complaining; he was damn good, for a man with the disposition of a 40-year-old virgin, moving his hands to Danny’s wrist and placing his hand on his waist, which again, he did not mind at all, while the other was still halfway up his shirt. Let the man take the lead, at least for now, because it’s the only chance he’ll get to.

 Danny chuckled as a hand moved to grab his ass - quite the eager beaver, wasn’t he? He was practically purring as he pulled away, the survivor trying to follow him before reeling back as he moved to kissing up the side of his neck, listening close to the adorable little whimpers that came out of him as he squirmed in his grip. The killer then went to move his hand out from under Felix’s shirt, finally, casually undoing the buttons of his waistcoat and shirt one by one, taking the time to walk down his chest with his fingers and feel the shaking breaths of anticipation under his fingertips. Oh, the things he wanted to do-

 Distant voices were enough to make the survivor crack open an eye, pausing before he began to push the killer’s head off of his neck.

“Hey, hey,” Danny didn’t appreciate the interruption, moving to look up as Felix looked around, like a startled animal, though he still purred in the crudest fashion. “C’mon, buddy, I was just getting started.”

“Quiet.” His voice was low and commanding, still shaking from adrenaline.

And for whatever reason, Danny complied.

He swallowed, listening to the silence of the wind in the barrens of the fog-covered forest and there was another distant call, which upon hearing he began trying to wiggle out of the killer’s grip. “Off.”

“Why?”

“They’re looking for me-”

“And you don’t wanna be seen with me?” He gave a mock gasp of offence, though the grin that was slowly growing larger still remained on his face.“Oh, honey-”

“That’s exactly it. Move, please.”

That was enough to make Danny chuckle, squeezing his hips that he still held, enough to make him yelp a little. “Still so polite. If you want me to do somethin’, hon, you gotta be a little more, ah... demanding, yeah?”

Felix glared. “Alright. Get off. Now.” His voice had an annoyed growl to it, though his voice still cracked a little out of embarrassment, as he pushed down on Danny’s arms to let himself go.

“There it is.” And so he moved, standing back and sliding his hands into the pockets of his cloak. He watched the architect fiddle with the buttons on his shirt to redo them again, rushing to do so and messing it up a few times, mumbling to himself. “Need help?”

He glared again. 

Danny laughed, observing how he looked like a kicked puppy as he went back to fiddling with his shirt, pulling down his own mask again to hide what little of his face he had revealed. “You know, I think you’d look much better with it off.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh, that’s not what you were saying with your eyes earlier-”

“You were a lot more tolerable when you were quiet.”

“‘Cos I never had a chance to speak, what, with you all over my mouth.” He shrugged as he spoke, as if it was a nonchalant fact, only smiling wider when he heard Felix try to stammer out a flustered reply, to no avail, choosing instead to simply huff and finish off the buttons on his shirt.

“Regardless, this affair is over.”

“Wait, hold on.”

“What?”

The killer moved his hands up to Felix’s neck, watching the man flinch and hold a breath with a soft chuckle, gently undoing a few of the top buttons that he’d redone. “You normally wear it like this.”

He gently touched at his collar, looking down at his fingers and then to the mask starring back at him. “And you’ve noticed?”

“Hard not to.” He shrugged, tugging at the shirt collar and going to fix up the waistcoat too before his hands were slapped away, which he held up in defence with a grin behind his mask. “So when are we doing this again, sunshine?”

The survivor moved away before he could’ve boxed in against the tree again, taking a few steps towards the direction of the campfire and the voices, though not too far as to disengage from the conversation, perhaps a little unsure how to. “You speak like this will be a regular affair.”

“Well, we had fun, ja?” 

“...Are you mocking me?”

“Not mocking, just… appreciating the culture.”

Felix started, smoothing down the arms of his suit jacket with a light scoff of disbelief. “Truly, you’re insufferable.”

“Can't say you didn’t enjoy yourself though, huh, mein Schatz?” He leaned his shoulder against the tree now, folding his arms across his chest, earning him a weak-hearted glare.

“Werde gefickt.”

“Gerne.”

Being outplayed in his own game of native tongues, somehow, Felix conceded, looking down at his cufflinks again. “You’re… not entirely wrong, so ...perhaps a name, so I can find you.”

“Oh, so now you want to know me? What happened to a one-time affair, sugar?” 

“When you’re so easy to please, I would be an idiot not to take advantage.”

Danny laughed, shrugging with no retort (though he was uncertain if hitting this pretty boy like a fish was just as good as getting in his pants… that much was yet to be determined). He soon trailed off, swallowing to himself, a lie escaping him as effortlessly as it had always done. “Jed Olsen.”

“Mr. Olsen…” Felix pondered for a moment. “...Ja, OK.”

—

So they’d been fooling around, yeah. Danny had always said he was willing to try it, should an idiot be brave enough, and if it was someone that wasn’t either Ace or David - he was a man with some standards, even with the blood on his hands - but never had he thought about it getting this far.

 The sun never rose or set, but people slept and woke as time passed, regardless of the light outside, and that was no exception here. If anything, it was the cold chill of Ormond that awoke him from sleep, though he’d grown complacent in it, realising the teens that called this shithole a home would probably evict him if he so much as dared to complain. Danny still grumbled, attempting to pull the scraps of the blanket over himself, but finding it unable to move. Turning over, he now heard the sound of gentle snoring, the body, next to him sometimes shuffling, but remained mostly motionless, aside from the movements of breathing from his chest. His latest fling, almost his newest obsession… god, he still looked perfect, even now, golden locks of hair falling out of form, the lighting of the shitty little cabin not enough to hide that perfect jawline tickled with stubble in all the right places, red marks down his neck and back from an encounter that had lead them right here, in the bed he was practically renting in the corner of the resort.

 They’d gotten a little adventurous, hadn't they? Banter in the trials was one thing, borderline voyeurism in the entity’s forest was another, but here? Letting himself be taken back to the realms to stay, where killers were not technically bound by rules of obedience, with Danny of all killers, a man who loved to bend the rules? Felix Richter was a smart man, that much he knew, but by god was he stupid. Maybe he thought there was a good man still in there, in the Ghostface. Well, that was his mistake; it was almost cute for him to still hold out hope though, regardless of how much disappointment was awaiting him down the road. Danny gently ran fingertips along the sleeping man’s arm, feeling the soft skin underneath his touch, smiling despite himself, only pausing at the gentle stirring he caused, practically freezing with his hand in the air as the architect moved, and slowly opened his eyes, sleepily smiling.

“Good morning.”

“...Hi,” he released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, letting his hand fall into the space between them. “Hardly mornin’, but sure.”

“Close enough.”

“Sure.”

There was a soft, amused hum from the other man, adjusting his position a little to better face him, hair falling out of place just so, like some disheveled Ken doll. “I would ask if you slept well, but-”

“Oh, very well, thanks to you. Really outdid yourself this time; I gotta say, that was almost the most fun I’ve had since I got here… or maybe even before-”

A light shove to his chest made him stop and laugh a little, feeling the slight coldness of metal from a family ring against one pec, and almost wanting the light touch of his hand to remain there, before it hit the mattress with a thump, dangerously close to Danny’s. “You’re a funny one, Mr. Olsen.”

He sat up, resting an elbow on the stained old pillow and holding his cheek with the corresponding hand, raising an eyebrow. “Thought you liked me better when I was quieter?”

Felix stared at him with those perfect eyes of his, and he laughed - like audible silk it was, smooth and defined, with a sleepy smile and everything - adjusting himself with a hand under his pillow. “Sometimes. Sometimes I like to hear you.”

“Glad to hear it. I’ve been told it’s my best quality.”

“Hmm. Is it how you make jokes to deflect, or how you talk out of your ass?”

“...Well, hey now, Princess, ouch-”

As he tried to defend himself, the survivor smirked, somehow braver here than anywhere else (and it wasn’t his persona), quipping back to match him, and as he was talking, Danny paused, watching the way his eyes diverted and how his mouth moved, how he talked with his body and the way he smiled and waiting for a small hum in response, and how Danny liked the way his name sounded coming from his mouth, even if it wasn’t entirely the true one. Almost made him wonder what the real thing would sound like… no, that was too much, right? Couldn’t get attached. He wasn’t attached, was he?

 Couldn’t hurt to wait a little more to think on that, before escorting this pretty little thing back to the campfire.

—

So he was thinking about Felix a lot more than was normal for an obsession of his. What started off as a vengeful curiosity had morphed into something else, something so ugly yet so beautiful, foreign to Danny in recent years, or perhaps his entire life. Was this how high school girls felt, chasing after the jocks for a chance to get them off, and maybe start a high school whirlwind romance? Well, he certainly wasn’t a prepubescent cheerleader, but the survivor that had caught his attention seemed just like the squeaky clean Prince Charming that girls drooled over.

 And he couldn’t have that. Not at all.

 The fog cleared out of his vision slowly, and he opened his eyes, almost rolling them as the field of corn came into view. Coldwind - the rotten fields, it looked like, from the wide expanse of produce hiding his vision. Despite the cards not being in his favour, a game could still be played here, if he played his hand, carefully. And he was planning to. He’d let himself get distracted. But not again.

 Getting back into the routine of the hunt was like sliding into a comfortable sweater, blood shedding with no tear from him. Laurie was always a thrilling chase, her determination being almost cute. Quentin was similar, though the boy with insomnia had a lot less appeal than the virgin final girl, to be sure. David, of course, was David - loud, frustrating to deal with, and incredibly annoying. And… Felix. He knew how he felt about Felix already.

 As well as he tried to play it, this time, the game was not in his favour, and quite quickly generators across the field were powered, with only a few hooks under his belt. Getting to a gate, it was already beginning to open, three of them already filing into the funnel of the exit. But Felix, he was lagging behind, and without thinking, Danny took a swipe...

 ...No one escaped death. Not even the man he may have fallen for.

 As he wiped the blood from his blade with a gloved hand closed around it, he watched the architect grasp at his side and stumble, leaning a shoulder up against a wooden wall for support.

“Go.” He called to the woman in the blue shirt, standing at the gate.

“Felix, we can’t-”

“I said go, Laurie!”

She gritted her teeth and went to ignore him, running back into the cornfield, but a grip and pull on her arm from David stopped her, as much as she tried to fight against it. Quentin was the last to leave, watching the two of them for a moment before he swallowed, and chased after them, a medkit in hand.

 “Alone time, eh? Hon, we’re on a time limit here-”

“Just get it done.”

Danny tried to laugh. But it didn’t… feel right, somehow, even if it was the same as it always had been. As Felix leaned against a wall to support himself and slid down, knees buckling underneath him, he crouched down to meet him. “I dunno… no fun when they don’t squirm, you know?”

“...Jed-”

“Danny.”

He paused. “What?”

“It’s Danny Johnson. My name, I mean. I lied, when we first met. ...Surprise!” Knife still gripped, he tried to do a small jazz hands movement, though it seemed a fall flat. Only hurt more with what came next.

“...I figured as much.”

“Oh yeah? And why’d you set yourself up for failure like that, sunshine?”

“Because… I don’t know. I thought you were like me.”

The killer deflated a little, tilting his head to one side.

“I… maybe, I thought you were playing something up. I always felt… something else, there. Maybe something even you didn’t know about. Under all that ego, Mr Ol- ...Mr. Johnson, there was a man who cared, once.”

He tapped the blade of his knife against the floor. “...Maybe. I dunno.”

“Do you think he’s still in there?”

Danny didn’t reply right away, dragging his blade through the dirt by his feet absentmindedly. He didn’t entirely know, at this point. Normally this would have been the end of their little game - it was over, he had caught him and won - but something was stopping him. The ground shook, reminding him of that first moment where this fascination had started to plague him. “...You’ve done something to me, Felix.”

He hummed, trying to shift where he sat, holding his side where the blood had stained his very nice suit. “Have I?”

“Must have done. Because this isn’t as fun as I thought it would be.”

“That’s the reality of most things, I’m afraid.”

“I hate it.”

The survivor almost laughed, though it was pained and strained, clearly struggling… but was the sliver of it that made it, that small smile on his stupid, perfect face - that was enough, it seemed, to make Danny smile too.

He pulled up his mask entirely, tugging down his hood and fixing his hair with a quick ruffle, feeling the cloth tendrils on his sleeves whip behind him from the movement. The killer took a second to stare at Felix in front of him, before he moved his hand up to his face, watching him flinch. “Hey- relax, baby, I’m not gonna hurt you yet.”

“Yet.”

Danny hummed, cupping his face and wiping away the blood starting to dribble out of his mouth with a finger. “There. You’re a messy little boy, aint’cha?”

A cough, more blood involuntarily spilling out from his mouth now, this time splashing onto his shirt and the front of Danny’s suit. “My apologies. I’ll make sure to bleed less next time you stab me.”

“‘Ppreciate it, babes.”

Though he thought the man would shove him away, he instead seemed to lean into the touch, moving a hand to hold onto Danny’s wrist. “You still smell like cheap cologne.”

“It’s the only thing they sent me here with. ‘Sides, your scent goes away after a while.”

“Gross.”

“The one and only.”

And despite his small smile, of both annoyance and amusement, the third overwhelming emotion behind his eyes was that of sadness. The ground shook around them, but they didn’t seem to care, not until Danny moved his hand away and stood to his feet again, grabbing his knife from the floor and wiping the dirt off of the blade on his thigh.

 “Is this it, then?”

“‘Fraid so.”

“...It was fun.”

“Oh yes, it was.” He looked down at his knife, pressing the tip of the blade against his finger and twisting it, the moonlight and bleeding of the ground catching the light of the metal. “...For what it’s worth? You were close.”

“Close to what?”

“Makin’ me a person. Ya know, not a prick, like… an actual loser, with empathy. Almost had me for a sec, hot stuff.”

“Is that why you’re stopping this? Are you scared?”

Danny swallowed down a reply. He took a moment to look down at Felix, who’s eyes had followed him the entire time, making a small ‘call me’ sign with his free hand and forcing a smirk. “If you ever decide you wanna make a mistake again, you’ll know where to find me.”

“...Goodbye, Danny.”

He walked off into the corn, not wanting to see the way those blue eyes stared at him anymore, only stopping at the pained screaming that followed. The shaking of the ground had stopped now. She had come to feast.

 As he stood in the middle of cornfield, he looked up at the sky of the farm, overcast and grey, tendrils of the Entity reaching down to claim her prize, and fog swirling around him to take him back, to lay in wait, until the next time.

 He was right. His name did sound nice coming out of Felix’s mouth. 

#dead by daylight #ghostfelix #the ghostface #felix richter #prove thyself #off the record

[atopearth]

Ikemen Vampire Part 7 - Theodorus van Gogh Route

Okay, I'm really hoping I'll like this route because Theodorus' looks are 100% my type. Not gonna lie, it was love at first sight when I first played this game lmao (so dramatic), I think it's the eyes and the brown hair, he just looks so beautiful🥺🥺 Hmm how interesting, I would like to see how long Theodorus and them can hide from the heroine the fact that they're all vampires. Considering that Theodorus is an art dealer, I wonder how he got that gigantic scar on his back, it must have been pretty bad if the heroine was ready to run away lol. Anyway, half naked Theodorus was nice fanservice I guess, too bad I prefer my LIs clothed hahaha. Omg, I know he just called her a dog but it was honestly pretty hot🤣 Anyway, I love how we've seen 3 different outfits from Theodorus already, that grey suit actually suits him pretty nicely!

HAHAHA, I love how the heroine apologised to him saying it was her bad for thinking that he was actually being nice (when he said he'd carry the painting just in case she got run over by a carriage with it since she was careless lol). It was nice how Theo's attitude changed a bit from his usual harshness when the heroine genuinely asked him what art dealers do (since she's being forced to help him to keep the secret about the scar), I guess when it comes to art, he's nice to everyone haha. The art deal was cliche since the heroine has got to see how cool Theo is at inspecting fake art etc, but Theo made it pretty entertaining tbh, it was great how confident he was, how concise he was with his words and how it felt like he knew the heart of the painter when he checked it, he was really cool!🥺 Even though Theo isn't the most outwardly nice person, I love seeing how kind and thoughtful he actually is. Not only is he a great brother to Vincent, I honestly didn't think that he went around selling the art of young and budding artists too! I really liked how he got the heroine to choose a painting that called out to her heart so that she could more personally experience picking art for herself with her own eyes and without being reliant or biased by Theo's trained eyes, I think it's really nice to see how Theo is really properly trying to guide her even though he probably made her his assistant on a whim to protect her from the whole vampire thing.

LMAO when Theo started tickling the heroine because Vincent wanted to see her smile so he can more visually see what he can fix for the smile on his painting. Theo really would do anything for Vincent🤣 Hahahah trust Theo to actually have a dog as a pet, it's especially funny since he keeps calling the heroine his dog lmao. I have to agree with the heroine, imagining Theo picking and buying that magnifying glass for her as a present was such a cute image, I couldn't help but smile. It's nice to have the confirmation from Theo himself that he started dragging the heroine around because he wanted to enjoy her time here. I feel like the reason he's doing all this is related to how Vincent died, since we all know Vincent van Gogh didn't exactly lead a happy life, and as the brother who couldn't "save" him, I'm sure Theo feels terrible about it, so I feel like he wants others to be able to enjoy life if they can? Well, I knew that with Theo secretly supporting artists to draw stuff other than what's allowed (religion and landscapes), it would cause trouble but I didn't think they'd really try to kill him, pretty crazy. But I guess he is forming an organisation to go against the Academie and threatening their positions in society so it should be expected in a sense. I'm glad the heroine was able to tell him that even though Theo thinks the true geniuses are people like Vincent, people like Theo are also irreplaceable for being the ones to discover these artists and work hard in bringing them to light and change how art can be perceived, since without people like him, not everyone may necessarily appreciate the art. I find it really sweet that the heroine got to see firsthand how hardworking Theo is and be inspired by him and want to help him achieve his goal of giving people the freedom to draw what they can and expand the world of art. I also love how much of a home she's made with the young artists now that they even ask her for her opinion as well, it's so cute~

LOLL it's so cute how Arthur telling Theo to go on a date with the heroine is like an instant no, but when he says the heroine wants to learn more about art, Theo's like let's go and doesn't listen to anything else hahahah. It was sad when Theo talked about how he didn't have the talent to be an artist and it took him a long time to admit that, but it was really sweet of the heroine to tell him that him following his dream until the end meant something because he was able to become who he is today after it. It's something so simple, but I think it kinda hit me too haha. It was really cute how Vincent patted Theo on the head for helping him arrange an exhibition for him, it's so cute to see Theo as a little brother haha. It breaks my heart to see Theo so traumatised by the sound of gunshots... Anyway, because of the Theo in this game, I googled a bit about the real Theodorus van Gogh and I just found it so saddening to read about how supportive he was of his brother Vincent van Gogh and yet everything ended so tragically, I think the existence of his numerous letters to Vincent really showed his love for him and it just makes me sad to think about how he must have felt over Vincent's death.

Hearing Theo personally say that Vincent is his whole world and that he refuses to let this second chance at life slip through his hands really makes it hard to tell him to not work so hard, since he more than anyone else knows the value of life and how important it is to do what you can in the time you have. So I'm really glad Theo's words got through to the heroine, and now she's decided to force him to let her help him as much as she can, then he won't need to do everything by himself. Shakespeare really likes to cause trouble, doesn't he? Regardless though, I guess it's good for the heroine to find out they're vampires if she really wants to stay by Theo. I like how she took the whole revelation though, she was shocked but understanding and I guess that's thanks to Theo for treating her so well, but also because everyone treated her nicely I guess. It was cliche but I really loved how the heroine rushed into the burning gallery to at least save the painting Theo and Vincent really treasured. For Theo to so earnestly cherish a specific painting makes the heroine understand just how important it is, so I could see why she would risk her life for it, and as someone who has seen his most precious brother die without being able to help him, Theo understands how heartbreaking it can be to lose someone suddenly, so I also really liked how he rushed to save her, and hugged her in the heat of the moment since he was so worried that he would lose her.

Although I'm not familiar with Paul Gauguin and his paintings, it's fascinating to find out that Vincent van Gogh and him lived together for a bit! Also crazy to Google that it seems like them living together ended with Vincent slicing his ear off and Paul leaving or running off to Paris. Anyway, for this story, Theo says that Paul was the person who shot Vincent to his death and then ran off, and then when Theo confronted him about it, he admitted to killing Vincent, and then shot Theo when he tried to leave?! Woww, that's so despicable. Honestly, I love how straightforward they are with each other. The moment Theo realised that some things needed to be spoken rather than assumed, he went to clear it up with the heroine that he does like her and hopes that he can move forward from the past with her. Whereas, with the heroine, she misunderstood (understandably since he was shy towards Arthur's teasing) but she still was brave enough to tell him that even if he didn't feel the same way, she would still love him, which was so cute haha. So, I'm glad they communicated properly and even held hands!

Although I'm disappointed that Theo and Vincent's deaths weren't as recorded in real life since I think it would have been really interesting to explore Vincent's suicide and Theo possibly being so struck with grief over it that he passed away half a year later, it was nice to see Theo overcome the desire for revenge and recognise that loving art is a blessing and not a curse even if they may not be the most talented painters. I'm kinda sad that Gauguin was such a basic villain though lol, like he's pretty crazy to kill people because he's jealous of art talent, and honestly he doesn't deserve forgiveness lol. I guess Theo had a love-hate relationship with the wheatfields painting. He couldn't help but love it since it reminded him of his and Vincent's pure love for art back in the day, but at the same time because they could never go back to that, he hated seeing it, but when the heroine risked her life to save the painting from the fire, he realised how important it really was, and how he loved it more than he hated it. On another note, I feel like it would be pretty cool if we could have something like a spin off and romance the "villain" counterparts of each of the LIs hahaha. I honestly loved how Vincent and Theo properly told each other how they really loved each other and cherished the fact that they were brothers even though Theo once upon a time did wish to not be his brother. On the other hand, I really didn't like how Theo also ended up going back with the heroine to her time and leaving Vincent. Like, I know and understand the idea of the usual stuff like it's about time Theo got to live for himself blah blah blah, but honestly, Vincent's existence is so integrated into Theo's life, I feel like having one of them missing is like losing a part of themselves even if it's true that they can thrive by themselves. It's also such a shame since I feel like Vincent and Theo finally properly opened up to each other and could spend more time happily bonding rather than being fixated on stuff like revenge and other worries, so yeah I'm sad for the romantic ending lol.

Overall, I really liked Theo's route! Well, I liked everything before Gauguin came into being lol, because he was made into such a weird obsessive character that is probably the worst villain to forgive lol. Like, how can someone who loves art just as much as them be so fixated on jealousy and kill people because of it? I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it was super out of nowhere and a weak way to show that he's a "villain", when I feel like they could have done something more like Isaac Newton's villain where they did share the same love and passion for their respective skills, but things just happened causing rifts and stuff, so yeah, Gauguin and the last bits were pretty disappointing. However, I did really enjoy how this route tried something different with Theo hiding their vampire identities to protect the heroine, and I think I really felt how sweet, loving and caring he was. I also loved seeing how passionate Theo was with art and art dealing and how his relationship with Vincent was full of love but also some strain. I think their brotherly bond was nicely portrayed, but also could have been focused more on instead of the random Gauguin imo haha. Anyway, even though the heroine and Theo's relationship was pretty dramatic at times especially with the fire and stuff, it was still really sweet, and Theo definitely grew on me as they both worked together and she came to understood his dream haha. I think I personally like Theo's and Mozart's routes the most.

#Ikemen Vampire

[adventures-in-asexuality]

‘Home’ Alone

You may have heard that Boris Johnson has recently become the leader of the Conservative Party in the UK, and, as such, the Prime Minister. This wasn’t an election open to the general public; party leaders are elected by the members of that party, and it’s no real surprise that the Conservative Party members like conservative candidates.

This isn’t a post about that, per se; there are plenty of other people detailing all of his failings and horrifying attitudes and behaviours. It’s just an illustration of how the political situation in this country is devolving faster and faster. I started talking about this in 2014, just a couple of years after I first got on tumblr at all, and I’ve been talking about it ever since, whenever I have the mental fortitude to do so - which, right now, isn’t often. 

But, hey, what’s another list of my deepest fears? 

I wrote a post a year or two ago with some of the things that we’re facing here, in the UK. I’ll link the entire post, but here is the most important paragraph:

‘But. I have been saying this. I said it when reports came out of the huge number of people dying within a few weeks of their disability claims being denied or revoked. I said it when a coroner went so far as to name the DWP as the cause of death on a death certificate for a disabled person. I said it when we started seeing stats of the huge proportion of cases of denied benefits that were winning at appeal or tribunal (and the huge barriers to even getting to appeal or tribunal in the first place). I said it when we heard about the suicide baiting in disability assessments. I said it when we heard that, even if you could get them, disability benefits were leaving people cold and hungry.’

These aren’t stopping.

Back in 2015, the UN Committee on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities announced that they were going to investigate how the UK was treating disabled people. The report came out in 2016, and, as summarised here, found ‘‘grave and systematic’ violations of the rights of disabled people’. There’s no enforcement method for this, though, and the government were free to disagree and to carry on exactly as they were. Which they did. 

In 2016, the Brexit referendum happened. One of the topics that I remember very clearly from that time was the Conservative promises that they could write a new Human Rights Bill, since we would no longer be bound by the EU’s rulings on human rights. This was, of course, presented as a good thing, though I’m not even sure entirely how. All I remember was thinking about all the rights that we already knew were being violated, about how it was so obvious that a UN Committee was investigating it, and thinking: Why would a government ever write their brand new human rights bill to enshrine rights that they are already violating?

The answer, of course, is that they won’t. 

We haven’t heard anything more about the supposed brand new human rights bill since then - hell, we haven’t even left the EU yet - but this is always at the back of my mind, casting a shadow over my day-to-day life.

Because what this means for me is that my country does not want me. I can never be at home here because I am not wanted here; because my country would rather people like me die quietly, preferably in a way that doesn’t impact on their statistics, and leave the abled people alone. 

What does this have to do with asexuality, then? Well, I am ace and arospec and a lesbian, and there are two very obvious consequences of this.

Firstly, I don’t have a family. Anyone who’s been following me for a while will know this already, but here’s the bottom line: I am estranged from my family for many reasons, including that I am queer. This is a story everyone knows, I’m sure - it’s easier to list queer people of my acquaintance who do have a family - but it does remove one of the common support networks that people have. 

Secondly, I don’t expect to be in any kind of significant relationship any time soon. Don’t feel sorry for me or tell me to meet more people; it’s just a natural consequence of liking very few people and also being a bundle of trauma and disability. I’m used to it. The real problem is that this removes the other common support network, and most people in life assume that you have either one or the other. 

Coyote wrote a piece recently, On “single”, that’s relevant here. The whole post is well worth reading, but in it, ey comments on one of the conversations we’ve repeatedly had with each other: the issues with emergency contacts. You’re supposed to have someone who would drop everything to come help you. And, realistically, people expect this person to be either your partner or your immediate family. After all, those are the people that you can count on, right?

(Wrong. But we all know that.)

Coyote commented on how untenable this is in ir post, and I’m just going to quote the relevant part here. 

‘Ever since I left my family, I’ve been intensely aware of how, if I were to go for too long between jobs, or if I were to get severely sick, there’s practically no one close at hand to intervene or take care of me. And that weighs on me. That makes my life feel tenuous and unstable in a way that’s more far-reaching for me than simply not having a romantic partner. It would be different if I had solid career prospects and enough savings to coast on indefinitely, but I don’t.’

I want to underline that this is how the state of being singled affects us all. Not just the traumatised ones, not just the disabled ones, not just the ones who face other difficulties and marginalisations. All of us. This is always only survivable by the lucky ones. 

So where does this leave me? I have a bunch of progressive disabilities. I’m barely managing to hold down a job at the moment; I’ve given up having hobbies, seeing friends more than a couple of times a year, leaving the house at all except for essential errands, and I’m still constantly exhausted and in severe pain. All I do is work and rest for the next day’s work, and I’m still ill too often for my employer. I drag myself to work in so much pain that I’m propping myself upright, typing one-handed and slowly collapsing over my desk, and people still assume that I’m malingering, that I should just stop complaining and do my job better. 

And these are progressive disabilities. They are only ever going to get worse.

You can see, now, why the gutting of social safety nets is a very personal issue for me. 

Let’s recap. The government is aggressively uninterested in supporting disabled people, so when (and it will be when) I can’t manage to hold down a job no matter how much I injure myself in the process, I won’t be able to rely on them for such extravagant things as a roof over my head and semi-regular meals. People who support such cuts often say that people on disability benefits are just malingering, that real disabled people would have their family or partner care for them, but even setting aside what an awful situation that puts carers in even if it works as planned (and it is an awful situation), I don’t have either of those support networks. I’m on my own now, and, barring some extremely unlikely events, I’ll stay that way even when I can no longer support myself. 

This means that I don’t have a home. 

That’s a little overdramatic: I have somewhere to live at the moment. I’m even lucky enough, now, that I can live by myself; I have lived with strangers before, and it didn’t work well. I don’t want to repeat the habit. I can shape my space around me to some extent, and I do have a roof over my head, and both of these are important; I don’t want to trivialise that. 

What I don’t have, though, is any sense of security or welcome. I live here, and I have possessions here, and, bit by bit, I’ve even acquired nonessential items (even if every time I acquire something that wouldn’t fit in a suitcase packed in the dead of night, I panic a little bit). I’m always aware, though, that this place is only mine for as long as I manage to keep up full-time employment; as soon as I’m forced out of that sphere, I’ll need to be elsewhere, and I won’t have elsewhere to be. 

My welcome in this country, in this city, in this house is measured only by my participation in the capitalist workforce, and as soon as I involuntarily exit it, I will be unwelcome everywhere. 

Home is supposed to be the place that you’re always welcome, right?

Yeah, I don’t see that happening any time soon. 

This is the point where people start talking about wider communities, like the ace community. It’s an understandable impulse; if the normal support networks fail people, we want to think that there are backups. That smaller communities are still there to help us. 

I’ve talked before about not feeling welcome in the ace community for a variety of reasons, but that’s not entirely relevant; sure, I’m not at home here, but even if I was, there’s a bigger barrier here: we don’t have resources for this. (I feel like I should be talking more explicitly about the aro community here - because, at least to some extent, this would seem to be a more common aro-specific issue than an ace-specific issue - but I find it hard to think that it would be appropriate, since I'm not meaningfully involved in the aro community, largely because it's pretty clear I am unwelcome.) Most ace community resources are focused on dealing with people’s journey to recognise themselves as ace and how they can navigate their relationships afterwards - and even though that can be a large part of people’s lives, it’s not the be-all and end-all, and isn’t even on the radar for some of us.

This isn’t to say that this entire issue is just due to a failing of the ace community; this is a large and systemic problem, and it feels pretty self-defeating to throw any amount of effort at it at all. We also don’t talk about it, much, though, and that, I think, is the greatest disservice. It can feel like so much of ace community resources are devoted to reassuring aces that they are okay as they are and, from that basis, helping aces find partners, or at most reassuring unpartnered aces that just because they’re single now won’t mean that they’re single forever, that we ignore almost completely the logistical challenges of going through life without the societally expected support networks. 

We can’t solve this entire problem by ourselves - that would require completely rewriting society. But maybe we can include it in our directory of problems, understanding that this is an ace issue and finding or creating resources for it accordingly.

#carnival of aces #actuallyasexual #asexual #disability #uk politics

[gold-from-straw]

Backstage of the Universe - ch7

TW for panic attack from the very beginning of this fic, including references to past child abuse - hence the early cut on this chapter! However I do hope you enjoy it, because it’s my favourite so far ^_^ in which Erik talks Charles down and is generally way more amazing than he thinks he is.

Read from the beginning on AO3 if you prefer!

Erik had barely a moment between realising that Charles was panicking, and being hit by the wave of panicked projection. He fell to his knees, clutching his chest, trying, failing to get enough oxygen, he was going to die, he was--

“No,” said Erik firmly, pressing his fist into the plush carpet and twisting, grounding himself in the sensation. He pushed himself up, stumbled forwards, shoving the box of papers onto the ground and squeezing Charles’ biceps. “Charles! Charles, listen to me, you’re not dying, but you need to focus!”

Charles whimpered, and Erik’s heart ached. He couldn’t do this! He should get Raven, get someone, anyone, who was softer, who could give care to someone in this state. Svlad was crying, curled up on the floor, and Erik couldn’t help both of them - he probably couldn’t help either one. Erik would surely only make it worse. He was shattered glass and broken edges, people cut themselves on his presence and that’s how he liked it. He couldn’t even manage to keep from hurting those he cared about. He was not kind.

“OK, Charles, it’s OK, let me go get Raven, I’ll just--”

Please please sorry sorry don’t deserve anything good just a piece of shit a bad boy never try hard enough why won’t you try harder just work harder you disappoint me Charles you pathetic piece of crap pathetic--

Erik dropped to his knees, pressing closer, all thoughts of leaving him trampled. He cupped Charles’ face in both hands and rested his forehead against Charles’. “No, Charles, you’re not, you’re not, do you hear me? You’re the strongest man I know.”

Fucking useless child won’t try hard enough I know he can reach further than this but we’ve plateaued disappointed no no I’m sorry I can do it I can be better--

Erik closed his eyes and imagined pulling Charles into his mind. As sharp-edged and utilitarian a landscape as his mind probably was, he would at least have more control. He hoped. He had a sharp spike of panic, of I have no idea what I’m doing, but pushed it back ruthlessly. This was not the time for doubt. “Come on, Charles, come into my mind, look, I’m inviting you… you can… can hide here, if you want?”

--leave me he’ll leave again and they all leave and it’s only right I deserve that I deserve to be alone when I’ll only turn into them into a monster broken keep making the wrong choices--

“No, Charles, listen to me,” Erik babbled, words pouring from his lips or from his mind, he wasn’t sure which. “Come closer, focus on my voice, focus on my thoughts alone. Here, I’ll keep you safe here, come into my mind. I’ll keep you safe. You’re safe now.”

There was a hush, and a popping sound, and dead silence. Erik sat on the bare floor and cradled Charles’ small body in his arms, resting on his lap. He rocked, and rocked, and Charles sobbed against his chest, his shoulders shaking as he poured out all his grief. Erik closed his eyes and kissed the soft brown hair, breathing in deeply in relief.

“I’m sorry, my friend,” Charles whispered, wiping his face.

“Shh, none of that,” Erik said stiffly, but he still laid another kiss on him and stroked his back.

Charles hunched his back and hid his face in Erik’s shirt. “No, I’m so sorry. God, that was just pathetic, I’m…”

“You are not pathetic, Charles,” Erik clipped. “You were spiralling, caught up in memories. It happens.”

“Not to you.”

Erik hesitated. “Not anymore.” He stroked his hand down Charles’ back, fingers bumping over his vertebrae. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked softly.

“Tell you what?”

“That you had been treated that way. That you’d been tortured in the name of science, just like me. Like those children.”

Charles scoffed. “What they did to me was nothing, Erik. It’s pathetic that I can’t handle memories of a few rough words, and if you think that I would dare to compare what I went through to your… your…”

“You are not pathetic,” he repeated sharply.

“I am,” said Charles, defiant and grieving at the same time. “I am pathetic. I can’t cope with these little hardships--” he paused and before them a memory appeared. Erik staring up at Xavier Manor, Charles at his side and the children behind them. Honestly, Charles, I don’t know how you survived, living in such hardship.

“Charles, I--”

“Do you know what I thought then?” Charles asked, looking at the memory in front of them, at the two men they had been. “I wanted to argue, I wanted to say it had been hateful, and then I remembered that every single one of the people around me had suffered so much more than me, and I felt so guilty at my disgusting privilege. How pathetic - how dare I feel hurt at my memories, poor little rich boy, when my hardships were nothing - nothing at all. Next to yours they were the buzzing of a fly, and yet there you were. The strongest man I’d ever met.”

Erik gently turned Charles’ face away from the memory. “Do you think so poorly of me? Of all of us?”

“What? No, of course--”

“Do you think that just because I’ve been through something you judge to be worse, that I have no room in my heart for compassion for you?”

Charles ducked his head, and behind him Erik caught a glimpse of a different memory, of Erik staring Charles down in the plane to Paris and blaming him for their people’s death. Erik frowned and looked away. “I’m an idiot, Charles. You already know this.”

“I’m sorry,” Charles said again, looking back up at the memory, playing on a loop. All the names of the dead. “I should have been stronger. I’ve always been so weak.”

“Bullshit,” Erik said sharply, and bit his tongue. This was why he should have called Raven. He took a deep breath and tried again, holding Charles’ gaze, even though it burned him, like it always did. The depth of his sincerity and hope. “You’re strong in ways I’ll never know, Charles. Strong enough to hold a group of foolish, traumatised children together and defeat a monster. Strong enough to keep trying, when the world kept wanting to push you down. Strong enough to get up every morning and face the day with kindness and faith and so much compassion it hurts to look at. And you are strong enough to deal with this, too.”

Charles’ eyes drifted shut, and suddenly he looked exhausted. “I wish I could stay here,” he said. “Where are we?”

Erik looked around, and laughed. “My mother’s kitchen,” he said. “I would sit under the table, out of the way while she cooked, play and listen to her sing.” He smiled out in wonder. “I’d forgotten about this place.”

“And you brought me here,” said Charles softly, looking up at Erik in wonder, and something else, memories appearing of chess matches by the fireside, legs stretched out in front of them, long nights and arguments. Charles blushed when he saw them projected there, and they faded to mist.

“Are you ready to go back?” Erik asked. “I don’t know how long we’ve been gone, but I think you were projecting your panic attack to half of the state.”

“Oh God,” Charles said, eyes widening in horror. “Oh no, the children!”

They appeared back in the darkened room, Erik’s head spinning with the sudden change. “Svlad,” Charles called softly. “Oh, my dear, I’m so very sorry about that, I really…” Charles sniffed suddenly and wiped his face. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

The little boy uncurled from the floor, peering up at him with wide, scared eyes. Erik held out a hand for him, and just like that, he stumbled forwards, wrapping his arms around Charles’ waist and pressing his face into his chest, as Erik petted his back.

“Oh, sweetheart, you poor little thing, I’m so sorry. No, no, of course I’m not angry with you at all, I was afraid, and… and sad, but I didn’t want to make you feel like it was your fault.” He pressed his fingers into his eye sockets. “God, I just keep… messing it up with you. I’m sorry, Svlad.”

“Dirk,” he said softly.

“Pardon?” said Charles, looking down.

“I… I prefer to be called Dirk Gently,” he said, shooting a look at Erik, then back up at Charles. “If you don’t…”

“Dirk,” said Charles, smiling and stroking his hair. “Of course. We’ll all call you that from now on.”

***

The sky was dark, now. All the children were in their beds, exhausted after the enforced panic attack. The rest of the household walked quietly around, avoiding each other’s eyes, awkward with Charles, and it all made Erik want to bash their heads together. None of this was helping in his campaign to stop Charles calling himself pathetic.

Charles looked up at him as they made their way back to the study after saying goodnight to Dirk. “Thank you, my friend,” he said softly.

Erik smirked at him. Because he’d never been able to do soft and compassionate and nice in his life. “It made a bit of a change for me,” he said. “Saving you for once.”

Charles stopped, his mouth falling open. Erik took one, two more steps before he realised, and turned. “How can you not know?” Charles asked.

“Know what?” Erik said, retracing his steps, his hands still in his pockets.

“You saved me so many times, Erik,” he said, ocean blue eyes staring up at him in that way that he could never handle, the endless depths of hope and something. “All those times before Cuba, every time I thought I was making a terrible decision, when every step I took felt like the stupidest idea I’d ever had, you were right there next to me, and you believed in me with such conviction I could feel it in my bones.”

Erik frowned. “You doubted yourself? You, the cocky little brat of a professor, you doubted--”

“I doubt every word out of my own mouth,” Charles said, his lip curling in bitterness. “Did you really not know?”

“How could I?” Erik laughed softly. “I’m not the mind reader.”

“But I… I thought I was obvious. I thought everyone could see right through me, so many people did… their thoughts were always so… but you. You never stopped… you had so much faith in me. It was dizzying. I’ve never felt so strong as when you looked at me.”

Erik took one more step towards him, the moment hanging between them like crystal. He looked down at the watery blue eyes, the tears so quick to come still.

“You saved me so many times,” Charles said again, almost in a whisper.

Erik dropped to his knees in front of Charles, his hand coming up to cup his cheek. “I’m looking at you now,” he said.

Charles took a shuddering breath. “I know,” he said. “It’s terrifying. And… and wonderful.”

Slowly, Erik closed the distance between them, his thumb brushing the tears away from Charles’ cheek, and kissed him.

Tagging everyone who interacted with last chapter - thank you so much! @thewritersspeaking, @slytherclaw134689, @akasanata, @iwillshipyouman and @stuckinlight

#Lyn's Writing #Backstage of the Universe #cherik #Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency #x-men: days of future past #emotional hurt/comfort #kid fic #panic attack #tw: panic attack #child abuse #referenced/past

[sakuraitsu]

Umbrella Under the Moonlight - Pt 3

Genre: Supernatural, Romance, Humour, some crack

Pairing: Demon OC (you) X Jin

Summary: You are a demon bound to a Jeoseung Saja named Jung Yunho to assist 10,000 restless souls in the human realm in clearing their karma in order to send them to him to ferry them into the Afterlife. It all started from the day you met him by the river fighting against the Imugi, Changmin over the Yeouiju which had fallen from the Heavens. Now that you’ve met again, would the wish you’ve made then be granted?

Parts: Pt. 1 , Pt. 2

“You are aware of who I am, Kim Namjoon.” Yunho tells the owner of the Room while holding off the effects of the young man’s words on him. They had been talking for some time and he notices that Namjoon had been trying to lull him into sleep with the vapours of his drink coming off from his lips.

The young man flashes a dimpled smile to the Jeonseung Saja and takes another sip of the green liquid in his glass. He seem to know that the person sitting opposite him isn’t the same as those who managed to pass through the painting as most of them would’ve been asleep or trying to end their lives after he had spoken this long to them. Namjoon’s eyes starts glowing the same colour as the electric green contents within his glass. 

“Oh well, I’m not so sure if you’ll be able to let me know on your own.” Green smoke emits from his lips as he speaks and Yunho notices sparks of electricity within those clouds. “I guess I would have to work harder for today.” 

He flips off from the sofa that he had been sitting on when flashes of electricity shoots out at his direction. Yunho manages to land on his feet when he detects that the room is shifting around them and tears out a page of his book to throw it at Namjoon’s general direction. The page folds itself into a dagger mid-air and drives deep into Namjoon’s shoulder as he was manipulating the electric clouds. 

This is not the regular gwishin that they had been hunting; for some strange reasons, this is a soul bound to a yokwe. The bound soul is able to draw powers granted by the yokwe to do its bidding but Yunho found it strange that someone like Namjoon is being bound. 

“I wanted to let you leave in peace yet you made me do this.” Namjoon snarls at him, his voice coarse and losing the usual calmness that he had during their conversation earlier. “Why do you have to make me do this?” 

“Kim Namjoon, you’re a kind soul.” Yunho acknowledges, “However, you should not be doing this.” He pulls out his sword to cut through the clouds. 

“Hyung, you need help?” Another voice was heard as Yunho was searching for the bond which he needs to severe between Namjoon and whichever yokwe had been controlling him. 

Usually this would be in the form of items or brands on the individual that acts as a medium for the yokwe to force the bound soul to do its bidding.

Yunho hardly had time to focus and determine said item when he was whisked away into another room. A boy with his eyes closed, a lollipop in one hand and the other holding onto the swing which is keeping him suspended off from the floor appears in front of him. He takes another step up at the strange boy while dusting his jacket clean and the said boy cracks an eye open. 

“Hi.” He smirks upon making eye contact with the intruder who found himself hanging off from the ceiling by his ankle.

He sucks on the lollipop while walking up to the man to observe him. 

For someone hanging upside down from  such a height, Yunho seemed pretty unbothered. There are no signs of panic on his face and he simply surveys him dumbly. He found it odd that there isn't any signs of blood rushing down to his face and he just appeared rather...dead. 

“You’ve hurt my hyung.” 

“Your hyung and you had been hurting people. I would appreciate it if you let me down now.” 

“No. We’ve not been doing that.” He dismisses the notion while still sucking on his lollipop. Yunho could feel a force tightening around his neck while the boy prances around him nonchalantly. 

“How long would it take for both of you to realise this?” Yunho sighs, reaching into his jacket’s pocket to take out a battered old book. “Jeon Jungkook?” 

“How did you-” Jungkook could not finish his sentence when it was his turn to be hanging from the ceiling by his ankle. Yunho pocketed his book and forces a smile to the confused Jungkook. “Well you see…I can’t really die so it is useless to try doing…whatever both of you did…to me.” He shrugs. 

The door to Jungkook’s room bursts open and Namjoon storms towards Yunho upon seeing Jungkook hanging off from the ceiling. He starts hurling storm clouds at his direction but it simply misses the older man in black who sidesteps every one of those. Jungkook raises his free hand from behind and Yunho could feel a force tugging onto his neck again to hold him in place as Namjoon gathers up another mass of clouds to aim it at his direction. 

Changmin had been dodging arrows for the past 30 minutes from every direction fired by the the young man with orange hair. He had been holding back but it was getting progressively annoying to have parts of his body numbed by the poison and having the need to waste time extracting said venom to heal himself. The lad fired another 3 arrows at him and this time, he did not bother to dodge it anymore. 

The arrows were stopped by a wall of water and for a moment, the young man thought he was staring at the eyes of a reptile. 

“Well, you did wanted to know what I am, didn’t you?” Changmin growls.

“It would be rude for me to not introduce myself; I’m Jung Hoseok. You can call me Hobi if you want to.” he beams at Changmin before firing another arrow.

“Consider it your luck for getting me instead of Yunho or that sneaky woman.” Changmin clicks his tongue while preparing to gather more water to flush Hoseok out of the room. 

The entire room trembles and Hoseok found himself unable to stand properly to prepare for another shot of his paralysis arrows to put Changmin down. All he wanted was to put him into a painless state so that they could get their job done but the pissed off man isn’t making things easy for them. In fact, he is starting to feel that he would need backup to put this man down because he could sense something really awful is about to happen to him. 

The quake was so intense that even Yunho and Jieun could feel it in their rooms. 

“There he goes again.” Yunho groans after subduing Namjoon and Jungkook in chains and handcuffs and was preparing to return to the museum. 

It was so violent that even the organ was shaking. 

“I’m sorry, my friend isn’t as patient as he claims to be, Yoongi.” She smiles, leaning onto the organ that he had been playing. 

“You aren’t exactly human aren’t you?” Yoongi asks as she watches him. Yoongi prepares to press onto several keys to set her to sleep again but it had not been working on her at all. 

She simply yawns a little and continues watching him with keen eyes. Her fondness for his playing did not wane at all and she seemed really mesmerised by his playing. There were several instances he thought he saw her eyes shifting colours but he blames it on the green smoke that surrounds the room. It was meant to put intruders to sleep but it seems to not be working on this person at all. 

Jieun starts tapping her own tune to accompany Yoongi and slowly, images of the young man’s past starts playing. Her eyes starts narrowing into different spots of his memories and the images got sharper with every key Yoongi played. 

When Yoongi stops to look up at Jieun; she is no longer there but it was his mother. 

“Yoongi, would you play the piano with me?” Yoongi looks down at the organ he had been playing on to realise that he is sitting in front of a piano. In fact, it is the same piano that he used to play with his mother.  

“What...” she ignores him and starts playing. 

“Why told them that nobody was home?” she questions, playing the piece which she did before their house caught fire. “Did you have any idea that I was suffering while waiting for someone to save me, Yoongi?” 

While Yoongi is in a ‘conversation’ with his ‘late mother’, Jieun is trying to find the medium which was used to bind him to the yokwe. She had been trying to sniff out if it was hiding within the organ that the young man was playing on but no, it isn’t anywhere in or on the organ so she had to search somewhere else. She could care less if she is traumatising Yoongi into another suicide but she would need to act fast on finding the medium; Yoongi cannot really die in the state that he is in anyway. 

Yunho would at least counsel his subjects, Changmin prefers to flood the area with purifying waters but Jieun finds this to be the most efficient. At least she would be able to conserve energy for real threats and the enemy does not really have an idea of her actual strength. 

She pauses in her search after sensing fluctuations of demonic energy in the air and turns to Yoongi whose eyes are starting to shift in colours. At the same time, Jieun notices that the ring he is wearing seems to be resonating with the spike of energy in the air. 

“Oh no you don’t...” that was the last thing she heard before her sight was gone. 

#bts #fanfic #fantasy #supernatural au #bts jin #bts taehyung #bts suga #bts jimin #bts namjoon #bts jungkook #bts jhope #tvxq max #tvxq yunho #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #oc #jin x oc #seokjin x you

[velvet-tread]

so revisiting octavia blake (especially after what we’ve seen of her in s5e06 tonight)... what’s your understanding of octavia blake, in relation to bloodreina and also as one of the most disliked characters in the fandom?

 TW – there follows some discussion of abuse so if that is one of your sensitivities, I wish you well and recommend caution with what follows. Are you asking if I still stan Octavia now she’s Blodreina? Because the answer to that is complicated but basically yes. For clarity: stanning, to me, doesn’t involve nailing my colours to the mast and then contorting myself into ever more unlikely shapes to justify every single thing my fave has ever done. It’s possible to love and emphathise with a character, while also acknowledging the terrible things they’ve done or are. Maybe I don’t need to tell you this, but maybe others need to hear it: don’t let ANYONE shame you for loving Octavia. And by that I mean if someone tries, just tune them tf out. They don’t get it, they never will. They aren’t worth your time and energy. Let that truth set you free. So yeah, I still love Octavia, with all her flaws and her sharp edges. I can’t love Blodreina, but while Blodreina is certainly Octavia, Octavia is not Blodreina. Blodreina is the very worst of Octavia. Spoiled, demanding, hard, judgemental, imperious, unyielding, cold, unempathetic and very, very violent. She is the culmination of the story of a non-person, disempowered and locked up under the floor, coming into being and being handed a sword. And power. So much power. She is a product of necessity. She is an amalgamation of Jaha’s lessons, Indra and Kane’s guidance, Kara’s support and Gaia’s teachings. She has a god complex which, imo, can only go the way of Mount Weather. By which I mean it will probably consume everything in its path before blowing to smithereens and taking at least one of our faves down with it. But while Blodreina is certainly real, let’s not get carried away with OCTAVIA IS REVEALED AS FOR THE MONSTER SHE’S BEEN ALL ALONG. Deep breaths everyone, and maybe a sip of water. Blodreina is a persona who enables Octavia to carry out the most monstrous of deeds (hi Jaha!) and live with it. Has Octavia drunk the Blodreina Koolaid? Most certainly. But Octavia embracing her worst is not the same has Octavia being the worst. Also see: Bellamy season 1 and season 3a. Would you look at that A PARALLEL WE LOVE PARALLELS. Blodreina serves a purpose for Octavia-of-the-butterflies too. Because this show is this show and we are never more than a few monologues away from “love is weakness”, Blodreina is also a protective casing that locks away Octavia’s grief, her pain and her misery, her loneliness and self-loathing, along with her vulnerability and empathy. It seems super obvious to me that Octavia’s personal journey this season, apart from trying and presumably failing to keep Wonkru intact, will be about disassociating herself from Blodreina. And that, probably, won’t come without falling spectacularly from grace and facing her pain, and reckoning with the things she’s done. Also see: Bellamy seasons 1-4. Huh. What happens when the exoskeleton crumbles? What’s underneath? What will Octavia-who-washed-Lincoln’s-wounds, come to think about Blodreina and the things she’s done in the name of her people? How will she confront the agony of being Octavia Blake, naked, piteous and vulnerable, the girl under the floor who was denied existence?

I want these things for Octavia. I want the narrative to subject her to the most abject moral scrutiny because that is what you should want for the characters you love. It’s what makes them interesting. It’s what makes them matter. ALSO SEE BELLAMY FOREVER. Now I’ve been in this fandom long enough not to expect many others to see it this way. We are balls deep in moral monochrome here in the Bellarke fandom, and while that gives me pause for a sip of tea and a short prayer to the patron saints of patience, it’s not a situation that anyone can change, least of all me. And why would I? People are free to engage with the show how they want, as long as they stay in their lane.

And look, I get why some people can’t see past some of her sins. I, too, have characters that I dislike with varying degrees of rationality. But objectively, Octavia’s level of moral turpitude is at about the same level as any of the main characters. That’s just a fact. People’s personal preferences, while as valid as any other preference, are just that: subjective opinions. Where I start to sip my tea and raise my eyes to the heavens is when people start presenting their subjective opinions as objective FUCK YOU AND YOUR INBOX truth and thanks but no. It seems to be fanon lore now that Octavia is unempathetic and…it just makes no sense. This is the girl who was filled with wonder at Earth, who refused to let Jasper die even when everyone in camp wanted him to. She saw the humanity in Lincoln when Bellamy, Clarke and Raven could not. She saw the humanity in humanity when all anyone wanted to do was kill each other until they burned in Praimfaya. Wonkru exists because Octavia inspired them with her faith in them. The only way it begins to make sense is when you consider Octavia’s actions through the prism of Bellamy’s experience – which 8/10 is how the BC fandom at least views the show. (Also valid btw. I also project onto my faves! Bellamy among them! But see above for subjective opinion vs objective fact.) With Bellamy, the lack of empathy is real. Octavia, or at least the Octavia of seasons 1-4 high key struggled to see Bellamy as a fully realised person with desires and feelings of his own. But, while this sucks for Bellamy, from Octavia’s perspective it is entirely understandable. No matter how young Bellamy seems to us, to Octavia he is her parent figure. How many of the people on here haven’t put their parents through hell from time to time? I shouldn’t have to point out the bleeding obvious here, which is that teenagers who care deeply about animal welfare, trans rights, LGBTQA+ rights, poverty and climate change can also go through phases of being absolutely fucking awful to their parents. Often, that’s because in our world, teens are subjected to an unholy amount of pressure with which they struggle to cope, and the overspill of that hurt lands on the people responsible for them. It doesn’t make them bad people. And, yes, that can, occasionally, tip over into emotional and, more rarely, physical abuse but we don’t usually call it that. We call that “teenagers being fucking awful” and I am 100% sure that this is the context the writers room is working from. Do I think it’s acceptable, or justified? Hell no. But it’s important to take these narrative threads in the context of the real-world understanding of the people who develop them. This show isn’t created in a vacuum. Now work the scenario I outlined above into a post-apocalyptic landscape with 2x traumatised victims of systemic injustice, one of whom was locked up by the other because of that injustice. Yeah. What is so interesting to me is that the blind spot Octavia has wrt Bellamy – the blind spot that denied him access to the empathy she showed everyone else - has come into play again now she’s Blodreina, but in a different way. After 6 years of having everyone kowtow to her, and after vowing not to love, suddenly Octavia is making concession after concession for her brother at huge personal risk to herself.  It might not seem like that to us, or to Bellamy (and legit! I get why, from Bellamy’s POV), but to Octavia it must seem like she’s trying SO HARD to give him what he wants within the framework of what she thinks is achievable. Consider love is weakness. Consider that she throws herself into his arms on sight, in full view of all of her people. Consider being the arbiter of life and death for 6 years. Now consider Bellamy asking her to trust him. She does and is rewarded with a sonic blast. Bellamy delivers her an ultimatum about Echo, and she concedes. She fucking concedes! When has she ever willingly conceded on anything and ESPECIALLY NOW SHE HOLDS THE POWER OF AN EMPEROR? It’s fairly obvious from the Blake siblings sparring session that Bellamy was the symbolic winner. He got through to her. Octavia NEVER forgives. But she offers Echo – the woman whose sins Octavia will never forget - a way out. When Echo and Bellamy refuse, does she banish Echo? She could do. She’s Blodreina. She’s used to doing whatever the fuck she wants. But, no. She accepts the alternative, and even helps Echo on her way. Yes, it’s brutal and Blodreina-y and serves a double purpose but still, she helps her. She’s not doing that for Echo.  She’s doing it for Bellamy. No, she’s not doing it with a winning smile and a cuddle, but that’s not Blodreina’s style. She tries to thank him for saving them, in the only way she knows how. She reaches out, and he lashes out with cold anger. And perhaps it’s deserved. No, it’s definitely deserved, but GODDAMMIT that was a “you’re dead to me” level of cruelty. Can I just roll back a second and talk about how co-dependent the Blake sibs are? Cool. A friend (I can’t remember who, sorry) once said that Bellamy and Octavia carried their cage back down to Earth with them. And for seasons 1-4 that is absolutely what happened. They are spectacularly co-dependent. Bellamy depends on her to give him purpose, and a direction and reason to live. Octavia depends on him to absorb the overspill of her hurt, to push against, to take the blame for all of the ills in her life. It sucks for them both, and they’re TRAPPED, so terribly trapped, and neither is the other’s jailer but neither can walk away either. And just, what strikes me about the interactions we saw in the sneak peek for 507 is that maybe, FINALLY, Bellamy has broken free of their co-dependent relationship.  He may not even realise it yet, but he has completely re-centred his world around Spacekru now. And I think, that if push comes to shove, he will prioritise Spacekru above Octavia, even if it hurts them both.  It doesn’t mean he loves Octavia any less, but after 6 years of love and support and peace and quiet, Bellamy has broken out of the cage. Bellamy is free. Excuse me while I cry tears of joy. But Octavia isn’t free. Octavia hasn’t had 6 years of peace and support and love. Octavia’s life has been marked by trauma from the moment of her birth, and the trauma hasn’t let up for a single goddamned second it just keeps coming and coming and coming until all she has is her walls and an alter-ego and the hope that she can keep Wonkru together and her brother by her side. Believe me when I say that Octavia is still very much trapped inside the cage which Bellamy has now vacated. IT IS ALL VERY HEARTBREAKING OKAY. IT HURTS. So yes, I still love Octavia and I am ready to see her again when Blodreina falls.

#rach answers #octavia blake #Bellamy Blake #the blake siblings #Octavia positivity #pro Octavia blake

[tara-l-blackmore]

....

Today was... just awful.

I'm going to be complaining. If you don't want to read it, PLEASE STOP NOW AND SCROLL DOWN.

...okay, we good? Last chance.

...

.......

Okay.

I had a great evening with Terry, after a couple of days of minor marriagey mishaps. I fell asleep happy.

But I woke up screaming.

Yep. Once again, I was plagued by sleep-paralysis, which translated to dying in my dream, which resulted in me screaming my lungs out at 0830 on a Friday morning.

I couldn't get back to sleep. I wanted to - I felt like shit - but I couldn't. I had no energy to talk to anyone, even the people I need and want to talk to on a daily basis, all morning.

By the time I was medicated enough to walk around, my phone crashed. I got locked out of every single fucking App except Twitter and YouTube (conspiracy???), all because of an "Hub update". And even when I clicked the stupid fucking bullshit update button, it spent over a fucking hour telling me "Update Pending". FUCKING DO IT NOW!!!

I missed talking to everyone, save @anglejoyce , and even then, my phone crashed again in the middle of our convo.

And I crashed with it. I broke down. I cried and cried over it.

It wasn't the phone. Because the easy solution was always there: use the fucking laptop instead, moron.

But I forgot.

Because the phone was the catalyst to the bullshit fest that rained on me after that. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't write, I couldn't draw, I couldn't talk.

I just sat there and cried into my knees, the phone at my feet and still glitching the fuck out.

I felt empty. Scared. Lonely and afraid. Like I could hear my body deteriorating, disintegrating... decomposing...

I broke, because I can't control what I want to be able to control.

And that's the problem.

Because it's impossible to control everything, even stuff that I should be able to control. I haven't been in control since 2010.

It broke me.

It hurt.

And I didn't say a word to anyone, because I'd already concluded that I did not deserve to talk to anyone. Simply because I had lost control, and was unable to shut that self-loathing voice up. I deprived myself of people I love to punish myself, because I felt that those people deserve better than my love.

Even now, I'm struggling. Even as I sit on the couch, one bought specifically for my ailing body, in a home specifically purchased and furnished for me (I know this, because Terry admitted it), watching the person I married cuddle our cat to his chest like a baby he loves, a cat he took in before I even moved in, because he was a menace to my mum and had to go.

I'm... very, very lucky. And also unlucky.

And I think...

I hate myself for it.

I hate myself, for getting sick; for needing my appendix out; for the pain I got as a result, one I feel every day; for the gallbladder I never should've removed; for marrying the one person in the world who understands me the most, who is so generous and kind, who makes me want for nothing; for being ugly; for smoking and getting high; for needing countless drugs to make my body function at bare minimum; for not being a good friend; for not being able to fix everyone's problems; for always being the queer one, the weird one, the one everyone gets off beating up...

I could go on forever, fill a book about why I hate myself. I have even been encouraged to do that, but I'm too terrified, because I know how bad that hate is, and how cruel I am to myself.

But it has to stop.

I can't live like this, anymore. I can't. I can't live with looking in the mirror and seeing an enemy. I want to look in the mirror and see someone I love. I want to be confident. I want to stop giving a fuck about body hair, or my teeth, or my big nose, or my myriad skin conditions, or my ability to sweat simply by thinking about moving...

I want to look into people's eyes, and not see them flinch. I never want to see anyone turn their mind off when talking to me. I never want to have to cry and cry and cry when they leave, because they soon agreed with the vitriol I spouted about myself...

I want one day, just one fucking day, that doesn't have me thinking any of the following: I'm stupid, I'm ugly, I'm too fat, I'm too pale, I'm too tall, too weird, too loud, too obsessive, too needy, too hairy, too high...

Or that I don't deserve the following: my pain, my loneliness, my insecurity, my past sexual history, my past romantic history, my past ANYTHING...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, for burdening everyone like this, like I have been for two years. And I don't mean that I'm the burden, anymore. Rather, my hatred of myself is that burden, one I'm constantly asking everyone to look at it, to feel sorry for it, to help fix it...

But that's my job. Nobody can fix anyone but themselves.

I'm lazy.

I'm so lazy that I don't even make an effort to like myself.

I want to be constantly corrected in my fears, just in case, in the span of mere days, the person I'm being redundant to might change their mind, and not like me anymore - without realising that it's that behaviour that makes minds change.

I need to learn to trust, more.

I need to learn to trust MYSELF.

And I figured all of this out because of a phone glitch.

I'm still hurting. Still embarrassed and ashamed of the violence of my breakdown (luckily, I was alone, but unluckily for the neighbours, I was loud). Still not sure if I deserve to try and talk to those people I need and love (you know who you are; if you think it's you, it is. If you don't think it's you, but want it to be, it is).

But... I'm also still trying.

I'm still trying to coax myself into sending emails, or leaving messages (haha, no go, but I'm fucking trying, okay?!), or initiating sex, or asking for a hug, or advice, or a shoulder to scream into, and knowing it's - I'm - not a bother...

But... I think this is important to add, because I know many of you are worried about it (despite my angry self, one I've named Ma'ra, saying you would prefer it), I'm just gonna add this disclaimer, here.

Sometimes, I may have periods of time in which I am suicidal. They are, unfortunately frequent, and often, sadly, daily. There have been moments that I've made plans, and a few times I've written goodbyes. This is the reality of the disease(s) I have.

But I am never going to kill myself.

Lemme repeat: I AM NEVER GOING TO KILL MYSELF.

Because... I may sometimes want to die, but...

I really, really don't want to hurt anyone that way.

I struggle with trying to accept that such a thing would hurt people, but when I reverse the roles with others that I love, I get scared, so scared, too scared. I can't do that to people I love. And if I love them, it stands to reason that they at least like me, and wouldn't want to see me die, let alone in such a sad way.

It's traumatising. For everyone involved. And... to imagine that... when I imagine doing that...

I can't. I fucking can't! Because I don't want to hurt anyone! But I MUST accept that doing that would hurt EVERYONE. This isn't about ego. This is fact.

I... I'm...

I... I am... fffffuck...

I am... loved.

I AM loved.

And I love in return.

Killing myself would be the most hateful, cruel, and despicable crime that I could ever commit, not just to others, but also to myself. To murder myself...

No.

Fucking NO.

No.

...

......

Shit. This got long...

Tl;dr: I had a breakdown but in the middle of writing this had an epiphany and decided I will never commit suicide because I love you and I want to love me, too.

💚

#tw: suicide mention #tw: suicide #tw: discussion of suicide #suicide #self-hatred #panic attack #chronic pain #depression #major depressive disorder #borderline personality disorder #omoni gets personal #health

[144-13]

Hi again. Time to bother you some more, so 7, 11, 13, 22, 24, 25, and 30, for the writer's ask, please~~

You *pats your hand* are never *pats your hand* a bother *pats your hand*. You know who is a bother though? That Clive kid. You know the one. Major :///////

7 - Which character that you’ve written is most like yourself?

Out of all the novels and fanfictions I’ve written, I do think Clive in my current P3301 is most like me. We have the same MBTI personality, we’ve experienced similar events in our lives, we’re even physically similar–skinny af, brown hair, bangs parted on the same side (and just for the record, mine were on the left first before Clive was even an idea in Level-5′s mind, so there, Clive), same baby face that makes us appear five years younger than we actually are (most people at work think I’m 19, 20 if I’m lucky). We’re also both old (one of us being a twenty-five-year-old fifty-five-year-old. I even found a grey hair the other day and Clive can have that back.)

Jokes aside, I really enjoy writing Clive. There’s some quirks and characteristics I have to give him that aren’t things I do (running my hand through my hair/letting my anger get the better of me) or might even be annoyed with (pen-clicking), but his overall personality has been fun to shape because even in-game it’s already so similar to mine. The way he thinks, acts (besides the murder-y bit) and even his cheeky comments are all natural to me.

11 - What were your favorite books as a child?

I’d have to say the Guardians of G’Hoole was the first series I was ever so excited about I even had a prophetic dream about one of the books coming out. I don’t really believe in that sort of stuff, but I distinctly remember having a dream about the mint-green cover for book 7 well before the book was even pictured and when I went into the store to pick it up months later it had a mint-green cover. Now to channel that skill into the future of P3301.

I also fondly remember the Dimwood Forest series. And when I say fondly, I mean I was traumatised by the very first book, Poppy. This was only because I had read the prequel, Ragweed, without having known it was a prequel, got into Ragweed’s character and then little ten-year-old me was completely devastated when, in the first few pages, he’s murdered and devoured by an owl. Probably the second major loss of innocence in my life. And to salt the wound, his girlfriend falls in love with his brother. I mean, she avenges Ragweed but little me did not want to accept he was dead and then Poppy just moves on without me. Not cool, Poppy.

The very first set of six books in the Warriors series is also a kid favourite of mine. The ideas were so fresh and interesting. Now they’ve kind of dulled after, you know, four or five more sets, all containing six books each with rehashed antagonists and villains and not too many original ideas anymore.

Let’s see… I’m quite into this question as remembering all my favourite books is really throwing me back in time to some happy moments in a tree house on a farm all on my own with no one to bother me and an adventure to have with many memorable characters. I think another good one was the Dragon Rider by the same author of Inkheart. (Can’t remember her name. Something Funke. Edit: omg, you have the internet right in front of you. ‘We have technology, Spongebob!’ Her name’s Cornelia Funke. Glad I could solve that nearly unsolvable mystery…) But I’ve always been into dragons and mythological creatures so any book that could craft dragons into this real and nearly tangible thing was an instant like. The same is true of the Enchanted Forest Chronicles. Dragon Rider in particular was full of different myth creatures and I remember rereading it again and again because I enjoyed it so much.

Another favourite from my secondary/high school days is the Oracles of Delphi Keep. Uh, but that one I have a grudge with because it was meant to have four books but for whatever reason the author couldn’t have the fourth one published or there was some issue with writing it or something. Not totally sure. All I know is, for three books, I’m on an adventure with an orphan boy who dresses like little Clive with mythological creatures and witches and wizards and demigods and even involves time travel in one book and the very last book finally reveals one of the people who had travelled back in time to meet this boy was his father and it ends with him thinking he’s going to meet his parents as well as save this world and there was SO MUCH built up in this last book…only for me to find out there would never be a conclusion. So heads up. The three books are great. A little slow, but great, fond memories. But there’s no end. Will my orphan boy ever meet his parents? No. Because his story abruptly ends beFORE HE CAN. Okay, rant over. Still forever upset, though.

13 - Which authors or styles do you try to emulate in your writing?

I was kind of afraid this question might pop up. The thing is, I don’t really know. I guess it’s all sort of a conglomeration of all the authors I’ve ever read, everything I’ve learnt to do and not do from them and then my own twists on it that have developed over time? I guess one author that sticks out is Suzanne Collins who wrote Hunger Games. Especially for her first person approach. Katness’ dialogue has always been some of my favourite because it’s quick, straight to the point, and it really turns the series into a page-turner, which is what I want P3301 one and future books to be.

Honestly, though, I need to read more so I do have more authors to emulate and learn from. I can’t remember who said this, but a quote I try to hold myself accountable with is that one about ‘if you don’t have time to read, you don’t have time to write.’ That is 100% true and I consciously know this. Now it’s just a matter of consciously making the decision to abide by it.

22 - Do you listen to music when you write?

Not really. I find I can’t pay attention if someone’s singing or even without a voice, melody is enough to cause me to not be as productive or as observant with my stories as I need to be. Sometimes if I’m feeling particularly focused, I’ll turn on some smooth jazz or one of those Youtube live stations with lo-fi beats or nova-bossa music. But mostly I write in silence. If I do need noise to concentrate, I’ll put on a gentle rain/thunderstorm video or birdsong. Now that winter’s over, I’m coming close to being able to listen to those without Youtube~

24 - Do you prefer first or third person? Why?

It kind of depends. I like both because they both have their advantages. Especially now with P3301, I use first person for Clive and as stated above, I have loads of fun writing him because I get to shape his personality and think up what sorts of reactions he’d have to a certain situation/person and let’s not forget those father/daughter moments I could destroy London die for. But I do enjoy third person as well. Particularly because I lean mostly towards third person omniscient which allows me to show readers what everyone’s thinking and in turn put together a more alluring mystery.

25 - How do you defeat writers’ block?

I mostly struggle through it. It seems for me there’s no sort of meditation or cat videos or any method that will help other than just fighting it. I suppose sometimes I’ll go back and reread older chapters to help get back on track.

30 - What’s your favorite part about writing?

I guess everything, really. The morals I try to teach, the experience I’ve had and the influence I hope they have for other people. The characters, especially, and shaping them from one person into another. I really try to give every character chance to grow so if anything’s an absolute favourite, it’s rereading an old story or even just going back a few chapters and seeing where my characters were, where they headed, what they went through and where they ended up. Sometimes that’s the hardest bit about writing as well. Hint hint, I have some serious business Clive will go through in future chapters and I’m not looking forward to what it will do to him. But hey. The writer is ultimately the worst antagonist, right? I gotta live up to that reputation.

#laytonscreencaps #thanks for asking friendo~ #these were fun

[jupitermelichios]

Thoughts on Stranger Things 2

Spoilers below the cut. Warning that this is very much a critique. If you liked the show and don’t want to read about someone disliking it, this isn’t for you.

First thing, why is there a season 2? Season 1 ended on a good ‘happy ending with a sting in the tail’ note. It was a cliffhanger in the proud tradition of twilight zone episodes and portmanteau horror movies. It didn’t need resolving because leaving it open is what makes it a horror story.

Steve says that him and Nancy have spent ‘a stupid number of days’ working on their Halloween costumes. They don’t wear them to the Halloween party, or at any other time. Everyone else at the party has a costume. Were the wardrobe department on strike? Were their costumes just ‘people wearing normal clothes’?

Three love triangles. Three. In a nine-episode show about killing monsters, they somehow felt they needed three goddamn hereto love-triangles. No one even likes that fucking trope okay?! Either you have kill off one of the dudes or make them an asshole, or pull a full-on Stephanie Meyer and have one of them marry a baby! And I’m refusing to give them any points just for not having Dustin marry a baby.

What purpose does Max serve, exactly? Someone somewhere explain her existence in this show without using the words love triangle. She’s a cool character, I like her, but I like her isn’t justification for adding another character into a show which already struggled in season 1 to give enough airtime to the characters it has. Nothing about the show would change if she wasn’t there, except that I would like Mike Wheeler a whole lot more.

On that subject, why is Lucas in the show? I mean, I know why. He’s there to be the black one, but someone explain why Dustin, Will and Mike all had to be white? Lucas gets a storyline this season, but it’s basically entirely disposable and separate from the main story, and he didn’t even get that in the first season. I bet the Duffer Brothers thought they were hilarious when they wrote that line Lucas has about not wanting to be the token black ghostbuster, apparently completely obvious to the fact that they made him the token black demagorgen slayer.

Someone on the writing team thinks Charlie Heaton is super hot, and I’m deeply confused by this. I mean you do you, but there’s more than one line which suggests they think he is specifically conventionally attractive, which is just weird.

I came out of season 1 suspecting that the Duffer Brothers hate women. I came out of season 2 certain of it. There are no positive female relationships in this show. None. Barb and Nancy argue all the time about Nancy wanting to spend all her time with Steve, which would be okay as a minor plot point, but then you look around the show and realise that theirs is the most positive female relationship in this. Nancy’s relationship with her mother is strained, she seems to have no genuine female friends, El hates Max for no god-damned reason (more on that later), El’s aunt rats her out to the police, her sister is a murderer, and Joyce... never interacts with another woman outside of life-or-death situations. She has no friends, no relatives, she barely speaks to Nancy and gets maybe three seconds interaction with El. The male characters all have positive relationships with other men (even Hopper gets a warrior bonds between men moment with Bob). But apparently women can’t spend time together socially, because all that sexual jealousy gets in the way.

That sexual jealousy. I’ve seen so many posts on this site saying anyone who ships the kids is an evil pervert going straight to hell, apparently not noticing that the fucking film-makers are doing it. Have this season’s plot points can be resolved down to ‘two of the pre-teens want to fuck’. El is not only rude and dismissive to Max, she actually attacks her with her powers because she had a conversation with Mike. Not making out with him, not Mike choosing Max over her, having a barely civil conversation which was mainly about the fact that Mike irrationally hates Max for daring to be a girl. Mike interacting with another girl even just to tell them he hates them is too much for El’s female sexual jealousy what all women have towards other women to handle. That whole relationship just turned my stomach to be honest, it was like every toxic trope about women Hollywood has mashed together into two interactions. I would genuinely rather we had stuck to only having 3 female characters than have the Duffer Brother’s hatred of women shoved in my face like that. It was nearly enough to make me stop watching. If the show had been longer than 9 episodes, I probably would have done.

Oh and then there’s Mike. Mike’s reactions are probably pretty common among traumatised kids who lack a support network, but the thing is, this is TV, and the show isn’t about showing how trauma affects pre-teens. If it was, I would have no issues about Mike’s behaviour. But this is a show about kids nearly getting eaten by monsters, and in order for that to hold our attention for 9 hours, we need to care about the kids. Even if it might be unrealistic, we need to see the kids being nice, so we can build up an emotional attachment to them. Mike has one very brief scene with Will, where he’s offering support and comfort. But that’s it. Apart from that he’s a dick to his friends, he’s a monumental dick to Max, he’s a dick to Hopper... he’s pretty unrelentingly unlikeable for 9 hours, which had the result that by the end I honestly didn’t care if he died or not. I cared more about Bob, who might as well have been wearing a red shirt with the words ‘will die at the 2/3rds mark to show the monsters are dangerous’ written on it.

Hopper and El. The thing I was most excited for going into this was Hopper and El’s relationship. I’m a sucker for some gruff loner learns to love again parent-child bonding. It’s tropey and cheesey, and I love it. Except I didn’t get that. I got gruff loner takes out his frustrated masculinity on an emotionally vunerable child. I was genuinely concerned for El’s safety in more than one of her scenes with him. We’re supposed to think it’s all okay because he says sorry afterwards, but frankly? I didn’t believe him. I’m sure he was sorry, but I honestly did not believe he wasn’t going to do it again. I would much much have preferred El stay with her aunt, or her sister. But she has to be in Hawkins because the writers ship her and Mike, and that means a parent figure needs to be found. In Hopper’s defence, I will say that he’s not any worse than most of the other parents in this (except Joyce, who is an Almodavar style Madonna figure).

Freud would have a field-day with this show, he really would.

What character arcs does this seaon have? Nancy dumping Steve and deciding to fight back barely counts when it’s actually her returning to the character she was at the end of season one but for some reaon stopping being during the break. Will doesn’t get one, Joyce doesn’t get one, Jonathan doesn’t get one. Mike and Dustin don’t get one. Lucas and Max don’t get one. El doesn’t actually get one. She gets something that looks like a character arc from a distance but is actually her starting off wanting to help her friends, wandering around for a bit and then realising that yes, she still wants to help her friends. Hopper gets one I guess, if you count apologising for one specific fight a character arc. Steve is the only one who gets anything even approaching actual character developement. Everyone else stays exactly the same, with just their location changing to add interest. No one actually grows or changes.

Okay, putting the themes and characters aside for a moment, what is up with the pacing? Seriously. Nothing happens until episode 4, and then the last two episodes are basically wall to wall action. It wouldn’t matter much if this were being aired weekly, but this is Netflix and your show takes less than a day to watch. Most viewers are going to watch it in one sitting, and that means you have to think about the pacing of the whole, not just the individual episodes, and they didn’t at all. The ultimate finale was just a ridiculous nothing of an ending. The kids decide they’re going to burn the tunnels but just never get round to it. Seriously, they go into the upsidedown, wander around a bit, and come out. El and Hopper walk into the facility, shoot 3 or 4 monsters and close the portal no problem. Joyce is able to save Will from possession just by sitting him next to the fire for  bit. They rushed the ending so they could spendmore time filming 12 year olds kissing. And I don’t know about you guys, but I remember being 12 pretty clearly. I spent school discos doing stupid dances with my friends during upbeat songs, and sitting somewhere quiet and talking during the slow ones, and so did most of the other kids. Even the popular straight kids weren’t making out while they slow danced in public at until we were 14. This is approaching teenwolf levels of ‘why are the showrunners so into teenagers sex lives’ in places, though they do at least have the taste to cut away before Nancy takes any clothes off when she sleeps with Jonathn, which TW certainly wouldn’t have. 

Speaking of pacing, they were so desperate to get to their ‘and now the kids kiss’ moment that they totally forget they needed some kind of resolution to Mike’s relationship with Max. So our happy ending includes Mike hating and lashing out at Max any time she’s near him, meaning she can’t spend time with the only friends she has without being attacked. That was supposed to be where you put his character arc, assholes. You don’t get to set this stuff up, not resolve it, and then expect me to be happy with the ending! Max being emotionally at risk from Mike and physically at rick from El and her step-borther (and let’s be real here, step-father as well) is not a happy ending! This is what I mean when I say this season would be better without Max. Eveyrhing about the set up they gave her ruins the happy ending, and she didn’t contribute anything plotwise. She’s a good character, but the show is worse for having her in it.

The advice Kali gives El about ‘anger makes you stronger’. Every genre trope suggests that advice should turn out to be bad, and really it’s love for her friends that makes her stronger. But that’s the one goddamn trope they don’t use, and it’s the one which would have added something to the story. 

The ‘but will evil return’ final shot for this season just felt forced and cheap.”Ooo the upside-down is still there!” Yeah, we know. That’s not the point. The door was closed. The threat is over. Reminding us that the dimension is still there is meaningless, just cheap sequel bait.

Overall, there were enough moments and elements I enjoyed to keep coming back. I liked El’s relationship with her sister (even if it was just a whole bunch of toxic tropes). I liked Hopper and Joyce’s relationship. I liked Steve’s character arc, such as it was. I liked Max. I was interested to see how the various threats would resolve themselves. But considering what changed between season 1 and 2, if there’s a 3rd season I won’t be watching it. This is Hollywood tropes dressed up in Indie pretensions and pop-culture references in the hopes we won’t notice it’s the same toxic bullshit about how much women need a man that we’ve seen a million times before. Well sorry Duffer Brothers, but the fancy set dressing isn’t enough to hide the fact this show is predictable as hell in all the wrong ways.

#criticism #meta #dldr

[finnyisanactualrayofsunshine]

But he DID burn them. Why did he had to kill them that painfully? He has a demon, couldn't he tell him to kill these Children without any pain? I still don't get why he burned them. Because he was traumatised at that moment? Well... that isn't a excuse for killing a bunch of children. And I'm not here to troll or anything, I'm totally serious.

I'm sorry I took so long to answer this. I intended to answer it earlier, but then I got caught up in seeing a lot of things that frankly disgusted me, blocking 30+ people, and having a complete breakdown due to stress and lack of sleep as well as a series of bad days due to personal issues with my own mental health. I'm not saying this for attention or sympathy (although to be fair I do try and get those things a lot). I'm just explaining that at that time I wasn't able to deal with answering this or getting more involved. The topic still really stresses me out so this will be the only ask I answer on the subject, but I am answering it. I'd also like to remind that this is entirely my interpretation and although I feel personally that it is the correct one, I'm not Yana and I can't say I have the final word on the subject. It's only my humble opinion and what I got out of it when I first read kuro and what I still get out of it now. My opinion hasn't changed, and it probably never will.So. As I said in the original salty post, there are multiple factors here, and I'm not saying that there is a wrong or right side to this. It's shades of grey. So I'll list what I got out of the scene, both good and bad, when I originally watched it having never interacted with the fandom or their opinions.So there's the basic matter of the PTSD attack. A lot of people bring this up as an excuse for his actions, which fine, is valid. He is a 13 year old, put in a horrifying situation, with an undeveloped brain that's probably barely functioning, having to make split second decisions. I don't think that really would cover it if he was still just going and killing some kids for shits and giggles though. It's still a bad thing to do right? So although I think he'd deserve some sympathy and understanding for that, that's not enough.LEADING to the second point which literally everyone forgets?? And was like a huge obvious plot point?? Which was discussed several times?? You fucks?? HE WASNT JUST BURNING THEM FOR KICKS OH MY GOD HOW THICK DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO INTERPRET IT THAT WAY JESUS CHRIST YOU DICKNUTS look. He looked at these kids and he saw that they would NEVER be able to have a life. He has terrible trauma himself and not to be melodramatic but it kind of ruined his life. THESE KIDS HAD IT WORSE AND HE KNOWS IT. Like, they were going to live a life of pain and suffering in the BEST case scenario. In the scenario that they have healthy rich supportive families. So what happens if their families don't support them the way they are now and drop them off at psychiatric hospitals which would DEFINITELY be abusive at that time?? What happens if they remain unresponsive to everyone and everything and their families die and they end up starving on the streets? All this included with what they're dealing with and carrying emotionally?? Ciel looked at them, saw that situation, and UNDERSTOOD that that is WORSE than death, and he only had a short amount of time to make that decision. He was a thirteen year old having a panic attack faced with the choice of whether to kill them without having any sort of consent from them (which would make it more of an assisted suicide, however they were not in a mental position to be making that choice for themselves) or leave them to what awaited them which in any situation was probably going to be worse than death. Was it the right decision? I don't know. I'm not saying it is. But saying he burned kids as if he did it for fun or to be a dick is the most basic one dimensional view of the story, and misses the entire point of the scene. It was an attempt at mercy. To add to that, there's literally the scene on the train where Ciel explains what I just said?? And then he goes to help the orphans that actually could still be saved?? He had literally no reason to do that, you absolute fucks. But y'all are determined to demonize him because you aren't thirsty for him, don't feel any sympathy for a trauma survivor, don't bother reading between the lines of the story, or want to fetishize his immorality (I don't mean that's everyone but a lot of people talk about him being evil in a weirdly sexual way, like calling him dirty, and it's VERY uncomfortable given the character and context.)However, I am in no way saying Ciel was in the right either. What he did was HELLA problematic. Of course it was. It wasn't evil, but it was problematic. You brought up the fire, couldn't he get Sebastian to kill them painlessly. That's absolutely right. Going with the above logic, fire is not the best way he could have gone about it. I think that has a lot to do with the first point, about the PTSD attack. Reminder, 13 year old kid, undeveloped brain, horrifying and traumatic circumstance. Unfortunately, he's not going to be thinking clearly. He's not able to. So yeah, it's bad that he went with the fire method, I absolutely agree. However, I can also understand. He wasn't able to coherently think the situation through, at best he could do was see the flame and come to that conclusion, as opposed to working through it and calmly asking Sebastian to quietly and painlessly kill them all. Once again though, I'm not saying that was in any way okay. I'm just explaining the reasoning, and that even the fire part was not with bad intent. Never the less, the action and choice was bad. There's also the matter of him playing god. Which is honestly one of the more problematic things about Ciel's character. I don't think Ciel is evil but he's definitely problematic with darker sides, and he has too much power through Sebastian and tends to play god. I think there's valid reasons why he chose to kill the kids. On the other hand, it wasn't his choice to make. Whatever way you look at it, he made a huge Fucking choice for a bunch of people with NO say in the situation, and yeah. That's...not good. I remember in like grade 10 we had a debate in civics about the death sentence and my arguement was "you can argue both sides, whether people deserve it or can be rehabilitated, whether it's more humane to kill someone or keep them in a concrete box their whole life...but what it comes down to is no human person should have the power to decide if someone lives or dies." And that's what this is too. Was he right or wrong? I don't know. I've thought about it a lot and honestly, I can't give you an answer for that. But it wasn't his choice to make. He should not have been deciding whether they were better off alive or dead, because it just. Wasn't. His. Choice. To. Make.So in conclusion. I'm in no way saying what he did was okay or good. But looking at it with the viewpoint of "uh he burned a kid, evil, blocked and reported." doesn't make any sense. It was a complicated situation with several sides you fucks. As my fave said when I brought this up, "are we even reading the same manga as them?"Also disclaimer, I've already been salty about this for too long on my blog, so this is the LAST thing I am saying on the subject. I would strongly prefer that people don't reblog or add comments, partly because this is just my opinion and official statement on a subject that bothers me and several of my close friends, and partly because for personal reasons to myself that frankly aren't the business of strangers on the Internet, I am TERRIFIED of people arguing with me or getting angry with me and I have been in a really bad place this week because of the previous drama so hey, show some sympathy to your neighbourhood Lau ho and let me live my life in peace, drama free. And on that note, if I ever do post things that are salty and likely to start drama, I want you all to understand the magnitude of how much that thing upsets me, that I'm risking people beefing me over it. Anyways thank you, and goodnight.