#if I understood the assignment correctly which I am not actually sure of!

[cerise-on-top]

I was the one to ask for the mortician ask and I loved it! I’m in school to become one and I just thought it would be fun since the job isn’t talked about much! So I have another request, how do you think Valeria, Laswell, Rudy, Alejandro whould act when they get jealous and/or their s/o is getting hit on? Thanks!!!!

-🍒

Hello! I'm glad you liked it! Becoming a mortician definitely sounds like a lot of work, but I'm wishing you lots of luck! May your future job be very fulfilling for you! Thank you for another request, this one was also pretty fun to do, but then again, I'm just glad I get to write for the characters people don't always write for! Especially the girls!

Alejandro, Rodolfo, Valeria and Laswell When Jealous

Alejandro: Although he knows you’re loyal and would never cheat on him, something does make his blood boil as soon as he sees someone else getting a bit too friendly with you. You’re his and his only, that’s something just about anyone crossing him will come to understand eventually. While he does not want the whole world to know you’re together, he thinks there’s nothing wrong with showing people such when he feels potentially threatened. Walks up to you, uses the most embarrassing nicknames on you and slings an arm around you. Although he usually gets over it fairly quickly, forgetting about the perpetrator as soon as they leave you alone, from time to time, when he’s had a rough day, he might hold a grudge for just a tad bit longer. Even when you’re home, he’ll be a bit more clingy than usual, always has his hands on you whenever he can. The only real reason he can think of where he doesn’t need to feel your attention on him might be when you’re using the bathroom, but other than that, you’re gonna have to deal with him. If you don’t like being touched then he’ll just be standing next to you. Any excuse to spend as much time with you as possible. You’ll get a lot more I love yous out of him, and he does want you to say them back. Alejandro is by no means an insecure person, especially not when it comes to your relationship, but it’s still nice to hear that your loved one won’t leave you for some douchebag you met in the boondocks. Reassure him still, even without being prompted to, and he’ll calm down eventually, releasing you from his grasp. You can tease him about being jealous, but, in the heat of the moment, he might be a little bit mean. He won’t lash out, but might raise his voice for a word or two before lowering it again. Give him some calming touches and spend some time with him alone and he’ll go back to being his usual self in no time, though.

Rodolfo: As soon as he sees someone flirting with you, it can go either of two ways: He’ll either stand next to you and join the conversation, making it quietly known that you’re taken, or he’ll watch for a moment, giving the perpetrator mean glares where they can see him until he thinks the conversation is taking a turn for the worse and will tell the person off. He may not be the tallest, most intimidating man if we go by looks alone, but he’s a sergeant major, he can hold his own and be scary if he needs to be. Rudy gets a bit broody once he’s properly jealous and will stay that way for some time. He gets over it on his own too, don’t worry, but it will take significantly longer if you leave him alone. He won’t mind, but he will appreciate it if you actually approach him, maybe have a chat with him about something while you’re at it. He goes quiet, fully aware he’s jealous and the fact that it’s over essentially nothing. Like Alejandro, he trusts you enough to know you’d never even consider someone that wasn’t him as long as you were together, but still. Sometimes he avoids you because he’s being childish, other times he’ll just stand next to you and try to garner your attention that way. Once you’re alone, he just wants you for himself and will try to strike up a conversation with you about anything he can think of. The more effort you put into trying to keep that conversation going, the quicker he’ll recover. Rudy isn’t a very physically affectionate person normally, but he’ll hint at how you should give him a hug and maybe a kiss too. Since he loves physical affection from the ones he’s close with, it’s a surefire way to calm him down more quickly. Put his face in between your hands, put your foreheads together, tell him how much you love him and how he’s the only one for you and you’ll get yourself a smiley, softer guy. Works like a charm.

Valeria: Not at all one for PDA, but not above telling someone to fuck off either in her usual way. Will also make death threats at the person flirting with you. If she sees you’re uncomfortable with the unwanted attention then she’ll send their remains to their family in a cardboard box. If Valeria wasn’t so scary when mad, it would be kind of funny how pissy she gets when jealous. While she knows very well that you won’t leave her, she absolutely loathes any and all competition there might be. Yes, she won’t sling her arm around you in public, yes, she will shoot anyone who looks at you a certain way for longer than two seconds. As mentioned before, she becomes cranky when jealous, but will also just seek you out. Your attention is for her to enjoy, and you’ll give it to her. If she sees you’re scared she’ll try to tone it down a little bit, but her discomfort will be made known to you. What do you even think of such lowlife? Disgusting creatures that are worth nothing, Valeria is a much better match for you in any regard. Can and absolutely will talk your ear off. Not very insecure either, but insects should stay away from you, in her humble and honest opinion. Behind closed doors you can be a bit more physically affectionate with her, drape yourself over her and use her lap like a throne, singing her praise. This is among the few times where she won’t mind too much physical affection. The more the better, the more you adore her the more easily she’ll return to being her usual, mocking self. When she’s jealous she won’t mock you, she’ll mock whoever made her jealous and be so incredibly mean about it, it’s honestly a bit concerning. However, you get to hear her use more Spanish words to better articulate what she means. Just smile and nod, even if you don’t exactly know what she’s talking about, she appreciates you listening. Agreeing with her is also a good way of calming her down, as well as ensuring that person might live to see another day.

Laswell: Although she’s not a big fan of PDA either, when she can feel the anger bubble up inside of her, she’ll actually put a hand on your shoulder or grab your wrist. Just small gestures that show you’re close with her. Might drag you away if she genuinely does not like that person. But if she’s just jealous because you’re not talking to her, which, granted, barely ever happens, then she’ll just watch the conversation unfold for a bit before butting in. If you weren’t enjoying yourself in the first place, you can count on her to get you away from the creep. If you were having fun, then you can just talk it out like adults, she prefers it that way too, actually. When she’s properly jealous she’ll withdraw herself. While she might not actively avoid you, she tries not to get in your way. Being jealous over essentially nothing is childish, and she’s an older woman, so she really has no reason to act that way. Might become a bit more passive aggressive towards you, but she really means nothing by it. But for that to happen she needs to be extremely ticked off and jealous, otherwise she’ll just keep her usual cool. In her case, since she, in general, isn’t a big fan of too much physical affection, being overly physically affectionate with her might just annoy her some more. Show her your affection through the smaller things, such as baking her a pie or just trying to engage in conversation with her. Even though she’ll love it when you simply sit next to her in silence as well. You want to spend time with her instead of other people, she can recognise that. Laswell appreciates that tremendously. You can also just give her some chocolate if you want to make her feel better. Doesn’t even need to be anything big or fancy, but some pralines definitely wouldn’t hurt. Overall she’s just glad you’d rather spend time with her than some stranger who could never treat you as well as she treats you. You both recognise that, you can both work from there, and you can both be calmer and happier knowing that.

#cod #cod x reader #alejandro vargas #alejandro vargas x reader #rodolfo parra #rodolfo parra x reader #valeria garza #valeria garza x reader #kate laswell #kate laswell x reader #so sleepy again today #but hey! Las Almas gang and Laswell! Heck yeah! #I had to write this since it's a good idea with some good characters! #plus I get to get a better feel for Rudy like this as well! #though I'm also really looking forward to tomorrow's request as well since it sounds like a pretty fun one #anything with König and speaking German is good in my book #if I understood the assignment correctly which I am not actually sure of! #either way have a nice day anon! #also cool emoji! I absolutely adore cherries! definitely among my favorite fruits!

[essektheylyss]

Ten Books to Know Me

@aboxthecolourofheartache reblogged her version of this from ages ago but she'd tagged whoever saw it and it sounds very fun and difficult so let's do it!

Tris's Book by Tamora Pierce - I had a habit as a kid of always picking up the second book in a series, so this was the first of Tamora Pierce's books I read. Emelan had an effect on me on a microcosmic level, I'm pretty sure. Anyway, the protag of a whole world of mine is named Tris now, in homage to Trisana Chandler, so. the particulate is still kicking around in my brain.

Ptolemy's Gate by Jonathan Stroud - Another childhood FAVE. This series as a whole started fucking with what I understood a book to be. Also the ending of it has a vice grip on me to this day, and it is probably why so much of my writing is very vibey and favors ambiguous endings.

Cyrano de Bergerac - This was the first assigned reading I had in high school that I utterly LOVED. I love this play so much, I love the tragedy, I love the quiet sorrow. This was also the first proper tragedy that I remember really loving.

The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan - This is a book of poetry and short stories by a Yale creative writing student who was killed in a car crash very soon after graduating, compiled by her professor after her death. I read it repeatedly in college; it is really quite lovely.

Underland by Robert Macfarlane - Apologies to Box who wanted reading recommendations, but she is who introduced me to this book if I remember correctly, and I have spent the two years since I read it habitually picking up Macfarlane's writing without even realizing it. Absolutely phenomenal writing.

Staying with the Trouble by Donna Haraway - @ professor Haraway I know you are a semi-retired scholar and also in the most expensive college town on earth but are you looking for research assistants cuz uh

The Mushroom at the End of the World by Anna Tsing - I actually read both Staying with the Trouble and this book on the same weekend in the start of 2021. I compromised on not including Entangled Life by Merlin Sheldrake, which I felt was very cliche of me, by including this book, which had as much of an effect. Read those three and Pantheologies by Mary-Jane Rubenstein and you will have some semblance of an idea of what the spiritual portion of my brain looks like. In the interest of not writing the same blurb four times I left the latter two off but know they make up a little microcosm of 'you could make a religion out of this' for me.

The Cat Who Saved Books by Sosuke Natskukawa - A Japanese novel about a cat who appears to a teenager after the death of his grandfather, a bookseller. I read it when I was very frustrated with trying to read contemporary fiction and it was a bright spot among that. (I am still very frustrated with the state of contemporary fiction and this book remains a light.)

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer - Okay I read this one most recently out of this list (over the summer) but it had been on my list for a long time and it really does live up to the hype because it is just so luminous in every sense.

Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer - I had to put this one last simply because HOLY HELL. Rewired my brain. This is the goal I aspire to, this is the dream I dream, this is the highest peak among the mountain range of writing aspirations that I climb. If I can one day write anything even akin to the Southern Reach trilogy I will be ready to die, but that is an utterly unachievable goal so God's just gonna have to let me live forever, I guess.

#this was SO difficult I'm ngl #I had several more that I agonized over #the fact that there is no le guin on this? insanity. but regardless #also there were some that I didn't include cuz I read them too recently and didn't want to go too hard with the recency bias but #if anyone has read both underland and braiding sweetgrass 'the language of trees' features both authors and is STUNNING #megs is reading #also everyone read the alan dean foster novelization of star trek (2009). that was the other one from my childhood that hit so hard

[raphael-angele]

SPOILERS: Teen Justice Issue 2 Is Now Out (Finally) Part 2

Here's Part 1. Read it before this one cuz I'll only be talking about the second half of the comic

Deja Vu 3

The way Laurel (and Jess) would just drop everything and go help Talia, no questions asked is top tier Super Sons deja vu.

I will not stop comparing the two of them to Damian and Jon. I know they're two very different pairs but I can't stop thinking about what could've happened and what might have been if Jon didn't leave.

Talia was trained by both Batwoman AND the League of Assassins

This gets me thinking, what age did Talia leave the League to go live with her mother?

Cuz if I remember correctly, both in animated and in the comics, Damian wasn't trained by Bruce. (I'm not updated with ALL the comics). And he went on becoming Robin without his training. So if Talia met her mom at an earlier age (maybe 7 or 8), Batwoman may have given her a bit of training before putting her out on the field, regardless of her training with the LOA.

Either that, or it's referred that she's still currently training under her.

Klari's suspicion of Raven

Klari is suspicious of Raven. And I'm starting to think she wont be too fond of him till next issue (I'll say why later).

She doesn't trust him and I get that. That's been implied since the first issue when she said, "Sure, let's get excited when someone, who doesn't even likes us, shows up". And I think she thinks Raven didn't join cuz he just hates them, and not because he doesn't wanna hurt them cuz he knows people who get too close to him get hurt.

"Don't get misdirected by your team dynamics" What does that mean exactly? Does it mean Klari's instincts/powers are different from when she's alone and when she's with her team? Her powers start to really look like Raven's.

Laurel's powers

Few things

Laurel, sweetheart, you can see their bones. Of course they're dead.

That's possible? Is it in her X-Ray or her Heat Vision powers? How is it possible that Laurel can see people's auras? (That's Raven's job). And if she can see their auras, can she turn that on and off or can she see it inevitably?

The adults are dead, the kids turned into old people because their energies were taken from them...sound familiar?

His Undecided

I don't care what anyone says, Troy calling Raven his undecided is the cutest thing that's happened in this comic. Friend? Boyfriend? Nope, that's his undecided.

Troy, don't leave him unattended. Your undecided is picking fights. P.S. if you go into a bookstore with him, holding his hand ain't enough; tie a balloon to his wrist so you don't lose him.

Troy, please tell me you see him more than an emo boy. Please. He is so much more than that and if you actually mean that, I will slap you.

Raven...please tell me you understood the assignment.

Please tell me that you knew that this was just his way of protecting you and getting you out of there cuz he knew that if you didn't, something bad would happen to you and he wouldn't have been able to forgive himself for it.

Please tell me you knew that and you didn't think he actually hates you.

He loves him

You willingly waited 90 minutes to check? 90 minutes...damn.

And if it hasn't been implied yet, he loves him. With all his heart, he does. He will do anything for Donald Troy and nothing will stop him.

Okay, maybe that was an overstatement

It's okay, Raven, you'll get him back. You guys will figure it out and you'll get your undecided back. Just calm down cuz your emotions are all over the place

Look, even Teekl is scared.

BONUS:

Not part of Teen Justice #2 but related

As you should know, I am obsessed with genderbent DC. And I make up headcanons about Teen Justice sometimes. One of which is their heights and ages, as I've said here

So here are my headcanons for their heights and ages. (I can't put the picture since I've reached my limit)

Klarienne: 12 yo (Appearance based) - 154 cm (5'1 ft)

Laurel: 12 yo - 170 cm (5'7 ft)

Talia: 15 yo - 156 cm (5'1 ft)

Jess: 16 yo - 166 cm (5'5 ft)

Raven: 16/17 yo - 170 cm (5'7 ft)

Donny: 17 yo - 178 cm (5'8 ft)

Jacqui: 17 yo - 168 cm (5'5 ft)

But then I remembered this pic existed:

I refuse to believe Jess is shorter than Talia. They're not. Even if Talia is wearing platform shoes, she's cannot be taller than Jess and Jacqui.

I'd also like to think Klari wears heels. She doesn't but I like to think she does. And Laurel, baby girl, you know flying wont make you taller, right?

So Laurel is taller than Talia, Talia and Klari are around the same height. Talia and Klari are the shortest ones. Raven is as tall as Donny but Donny is taller.

Also, the height difference between Jess and Donny in this picture is akrhlsicbwhfidve. Like wtf? That's got to be at least 2 feet.

#robin #damian wayne #dc comics #dc #teen justice #teen titans #dc spoilers #spoilers #talia kane #laurel kent #earth 11 #jacqui hyde #jess chambers #klarienne the witch girl #klarion the witch boy #raven #rachel roth #donald troy #troy #donna troy #wondergirl #kid quick #jackson hyde #aquagirl #aqualad #superboy #jon kent #super girl #young justice

[theweasleysredhair]

If You Love Me Let Me Know [S.B.]

Character: Sirius Black

Word Count: 4050

Requested?: Yes/No

Summary: Y/n decides she isn’t going to wait forever for Sirius to make a move... maybe he needs a nudge in the right direction. In which Sirius gets extremely jealous over the prospect of Y/n going on a date with someone other than himself.

Tags: @gracemayhateyou @criminalyetminimal @lenalxvegood @iprobablyshipit91 @potterverseimagine @slytherineheir @kpopgirlbtssvt @rexorangecouny @awritingtree @hemmoporro @thisismysketchbook @acciotwinz @shadowsinger11 @aaannabbanana @lestersglitterglue @anyasthoughts @lxncelot @harrypotter289 @starlightweasley @slytherinsunrise @valwritesx @hufflrpuffforfred @cappsikle @kiwi-sloan @potter-redheads @pigwidgexn @twinkyjohnson @sarcasticallywitty15 @tyyyweasley @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @wonderful-writer @marauders-loving-queen @vogueweasley @marvelettesassemble @thisismynerdyself @gcdric @loony-loopy-lupinn @gloryekaterina @tinylumpiaa @girl-next-door-writes @locke-writes @susceptible-but-siriusexual @inkhearthes @sehunasbitch @nkjktk | message or send an ask to be removed! unfortunately, my taglist is closed until further notice due to hitting the max. amount allowed on one post!

A/n: is this me... writing for sirius? oof it’s been a while, huh? anyways this was a fun lil fic, hope you enjoy!!

~*~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST MY WORK! REBLOGS ARE ABSOLUTELY FINE! <3

+ + + + +

“I just don’t understand how this could happen!” You wailed dramatically as you followed Lily into your potions class, “Why me? Why do bad things always happen to me? I just, I can’t deal with it anymore!”

Lily rolled her eyes good-naturedly at you as you fell gracefully across your shared desk, a hand over your heart as you mocked your heartache.

Your eyes were shut, a proven mistake as you heard your professor’s voice suddenly speak out in front of the class, “Miss Evans, could you please enlighten me with why Miss L/n is laying on the desk in such a fashion?”

You sat up on said desk, eyes wide now and mouth dropping open as you realised the students already in the room were staring at you.

“Someone ate the last piece of toast at breakfast, sir, and she’s being dramatic about it,” Lily replied monotonously as you scrambled to your assigned seat beside her.

“Well, Miss L/n, as much as we’re all devastated you missed out on your... toast... I would thank you to keep your eccentricities outside of my classroom, preferably far away from myself, do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal.”

The professor narrowed his eyes at you, and for a moment you wondered if he was going to take house points away, or give you detention - insolence, he usually told you off for. And speaking out of turn. Not particularly fair considering you didn’t think you’d said anything that bad half the time.

But then the professor’s attention - and much of the class’ - had moved to the group of Gryffindor boys who had ran into the room, out of breath.

They rushed to their seats, still laughing about something or other, ignoring the scolding of the professor, his requests for them to quieten down and take their seats falling on deaf ears.

Your eyes followed Sirius Black as he made his way to his desk - the one diagonally behind you - his long hair falling into his face, tie undone and shirt untucked, making your heart race as he shot a wink over at you when he noticed you looking.

Turning back down to your work, a smile growing on your face as you traced shapes on your parchment before you with the tip of your finger.

Sirius Black was both the bane of your existence and the love of your life. Dramatic? Perhaps. True? Most likely.

He was obnoxious, loud and extremely cocky. He also flirted with you - a lot. In fact, at a distant glance, you could be mistaken for dating, his arm constantly round your waist, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered sweet nothings to you.

It wasn’t a secret you fancied him. He knew, Lily knew - practically the whole school knew. However, he never moved to make things official, never asked you out nor mentioned any feelings, and after a year of that, you were beginning to think he just enjoyed your attention, rather than liking you the way you wanted him to.

The lesson began soon after the class quietened, the professor’s voice lulling you into almost falling asleep when suddenly you felt your hair moving around you, making you jolt up and flatten it back down. You frowned as you scanned around the room, your eyes landing on a cheekily grinning Sirius, and suddenly you understood.

“Stop,” You mouthed, still attempting to keep your hair from flying about around you, shaking your head at him.

He shrugged, as if he weren’t doing anything, an amused smile on his face at your constant attempts to keep hold of your hair.

As you turned back to your work, Lily nudged you and raised an eyebrow, shaking your head, “He’s trying to get my attention, I’m not sure what for though-“

“Mr Black!”

You jumped as the professor yelled out his name, eyes widening as you looked over at Sirius, who had a crumpled ball of parchment in his hands and appeared to be mid-throw, James laughing at him from beside him.

The professor grabbed the parchment and shoved it into his cloak pocket, before pointing at the dark haired boy, “10 points from Gryffindor for disrupting the class.”

“But-“

“And another 10 points for answering back,” the professor added on, his eyes darting around the class before landing on Lily, who was quietly continuing on with writing her notes, “Please change seats with Miss Evans - perhaps separating you from Mr Potter here will force you to concentrate on my class.”

Sirius’ eyes lit up as he realised he was moving to be sat next to you, “Not a problem at all, professor!”

Lily picked up her belongings and headed over to sit besides James, her seat quickly being taken by Sirius, who couldn’t help but grin as he caught your gaze.

The professor resumed his lesson, leaving Sirius free to lean over to look at your work, frowning as he saw all your notes, “As if you’re actually listening to that boring old fart.”

You rolled your eyes and pulled your parchment away from him, “Unlike you I want to pass my exams, even if he is a boring old fart.”

Sirius watched as you wrote, your eyebrows furrowing just a tad in concentration, gripping your quill as you moved elegantly across the page.

“Too bad you didn’t get the chance to read my note,” he spoke casually, watching the professor march up and down at the front of the class.

Curiosity got the better of you and you placed your quill down, “Why, what was on the parchment?”

He shrugged casually, shooting you a lazy grin as he leant back in his chair, “Might’ve been me asking you to come join me at the Black Lake later tonight.”

Your heart sped up and your breath caught in your throat as you turned to face him, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth. After a year of dragging it out, did he finally just ask you out?

“With you? Uh, sure,” you replied in what you hoped was a nonchalant way, hands nearly shaking as you picked your quill back up.

“Great! Should be good, Prongs is bringing Lily, and I’ve already asked Marlene and Dorcas...”

You didn’t hear the rest of his sentence as you felt your heart plummet at his words. You swallowed harshly, staring down at your parchment and willing yourself not to react.

He’d asked other girls too. Of course he wasn’t asking you out. He never was.

The end of the lesson finally arrived and you quickly grabbed your things, not bothering to say goodbye to Sirius, instead heading over to Lily, who linked you as you headed out of the classroom, leaving Sirius and his friends behind.

You were laughing at something she said when you heard your name being called from behind you.

You turned slowly, half expecting to find Sirius, however you instead were met with a rather attractive Ravenclaw - Zachary Bryant, if you recalled correctly - nervously biting his lip as he arrived just before you.

Lily squeezed your arm and whispered an “I’ll meet you in the library” before heading off down the hall, leaving you in the emptying hallway with the brunette boy.

“Zachary, right?”

“Yeah!” He nodded a tad too enthusiastically, almost in excitement over you knowing his name, and you smiled at him warmly.

“How can I help?” You asked with a small shrug.

Zachary opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, as if thinking what to say, as if he didn’t think he’d get this far, before finally speaking, “I was um... well, you’re really rather pretty, and of course smart and funny and- and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to... accompany me to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

He was extremely different to Sirius - a polar opposite in fact, shy, earnest, kind - but maybe that’s what you needed. If Sirius wasn’t going to ask you out any time soon, why not go on dates in the meantime? Zachary was sweet after all, and super cute with his curly dark brown hair and sincere smile.

“Sure!” You replied, making him breathe out in relief.

“That’s amazing! Thank you! I mean- I didn’t expect-“ Zachary stuttered, the tips of his ears turning red in embarrassment.

You laughed, enjoying how flustered he was getting, “Not at all, I’m looking forward to it!”

***

James slid into the chair beside Lily, pressing a kiss to her forehead before nodding over at you in greeting.

“Abandoned the rest of your entourage?” You asked with a grin and a raised eyebrow, wondering why the usual motley crew weren’t following behind him.

“Couldn’t find ‘em. And Padfoot has the map. Thought I’d find you two in here, so well, here I am,” he gestured to himself with a grin. To be fair, he was right - you and Lily could always be found in the library. Mostly because when you needed to get work done, the place was usually Marauder-free.

“Ahh, so you didn’t want to see me, you just couldn’t find your friends?” Lily asked with a smile, gently nudging him.

He threw an arm round her chair and nodded, “Yeah, that’s right, that.”

You shook your head at him, though couldn’t help but laugh at your best friend’s boyfriend.

“Did you set a day to go?” Lily asked, shaking her head at James and instead continuing your conversation from before he arrived.

“Well Zachary said he’d meet me outside the Great Hall on Saturday afternoon and we’re gonna go to The Three Broomsticks, have a nosy round some of the shops, maybe grab some food. Should be nice!” You grinned at her.

“Wait, you’re going on a date?” James raised an eyebrow, sitting up straighter in his chair and removing his arm from Lily’s in shock, “With Bryant?”

“Yes I am,” you nodded, clearing your throat and looking up at him, finding him narrowing his eyes at you, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Babe, you’re Padfoot’s girl, he kinda called dibs,” James shrugged as if it were no big deal, leaning back in his chair and kicking his feet up on the table. Lily nudged his legs, shaking her head at him and he reluctantly moved them back down again.

“What do you mean he ‘called dibs’? I’m a person not the last bloody chocolate biscuit!” You replied indignantly, crossing your arms over your chest and furrowing your eyebrows.

James widened his eyes a little, but continued with making his point. Besides adding the official labels, you and his best friend were... well you were together, right?

“He... well, he always says you’re his girl. Kinda made it extremely clear to the rest of the lads here. Or, well, most of them I guess, besides Whatshisface who’s asked you. You’re off limits to everyone else, unless they want a very angry Black to come after them,” he said it so casually, like it was common knowledge.

“Sirius Black, despite whatever he may have claimed, has never asked me out, nor made a move. As far as I’ve been made aware, he has no feelings towards me, none that he’s mentioned anyways, and that is why I have agreed to go on a date this weekend with Zachary,” you replied adamantly, anger seeping into your voice.

Lily reached out and grabbed the hand closest to her, giving it a squeeze. You offered her a small smile, before sighing.

“Look, I keep waiting for him to make a move... but if I’m waiting on him, I could be waiting forever. I don’t have forever. Zachary wants to date me now and, sometimes, a definite now is easier than a maybe later,” you shrugged, “Sirius... he knows how I feel about him. Everyone knows how I feel about him. I’ve made it clear. Very clear, in fact. He’s not done anything about it, which only makes me think he’s not really interested enough in making us more. I can’t just turn down other guys that are.”

You sighed, collecting your belongings from the table and shoving them into your bag. With a half-smile shot in James and Lily’s direction, you bid them goodbye, heading out of the library doors.

***

“You’re going on a date with bloody Bryant?”

You looked up from your place on the couch in front of the fire, where you were busy reading a book your mother had just sent you by owl, to find an angry Sirius, fists clenched, eyebrows furrowed as he practically glared down at you.

“Yes? Yes I am,” you replied simply, before looking down at your book, though you were no longer focused on reading.

Sirius collapsed on the couch across from you, elbows resting on his knees as he stared at you, not saying a word.

You sighed, closing the book slowly and placing it carefully beside you, “Can I help you?”

“Why would you choose Bryant? Of all people. He’s-“

“He’s sweet, he’s smart, and more than that, he actually asked me out. And I’m looking forward to going. Unless you can think of anyone else I should be going to Hogsmeade with?” You asked casually, yet pointedly, staring at him expectedly as he fumbled with his fingers, mouth gaping as if he didn’t know what to say.

“N-No... you should go. I’m sure Bryant will be a great date. Quiet, meek Bryant,” Sirius spat his name out as if it were poison, a snarl set on his features. He wasn’t happy, very obviously in fact, but since he didn’t say anything to make you not want to go on your date, you nodded.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a book to read,” you faked a smile and grabbed your book, opening it to a random page and pretending to read, ignoring Sirius’ presence.

He had ample opportunity to stop you going, ample time to have you to himself.

Too bad that he didn’t take it - that he never took it.

***

Saturday arrived quickly, and you were looking forward to meeting up with Zachary. Lily had helped you choose the perfect outfit, and you’d spent slightly more time than usual doing your hair and makeup. You took a last look in the mirror before grabbing your bag and lipgloss, and exiting the door.

You headed down the stairs from your dorm, dressed and ready for your date, feeling nervous yet excited.

The common room was empty bar Sirius, who was sat on the couch nearest the door, and a couple of first years. You felt your heart beat a little faster as you took in the sight of him - black jeans, black t shirt, hair messy from the amount of times he’d ran his hand through it.

He stood up as his gaze caught yours and you smiled a little at him, mouth opening as if you were going to say something, before closing it again when you realised you didn’t know what to say.

“You’re still going on the date?” Sirius asked softly, hands clasped behind his back as he rocked back on his heels.

You smiled at him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as you replied, “I have no reason not to... do I?”

Perhaps it was foolish of you, to hope he would say yes. That you shouldn’t go because he didn’t want you to, because he wanted to be the one to take you on a date instead.

Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets and shook his head at you, though his mind was screaming at him to tell you to stay - with him.

“Have fun.”

You pressed your lips together and nodded, “Thank you, I will.”

With that, you turned on your heel and headed out of the common room, feeling like you wanted to cry out of frustration. You would’ve stayed in a heartbeat for him.

Sirius watched you walk away, staring at the door even after you’d long disappeared out of sight, before sighing angrily. He shook his head at himself, disappointed that he didn’t say anything, questions swirling around his mind.

Would you have stayed if he’d asked you to? Or would you have left him anyway?

He collapsed onto one of the empty nearby couches, letting out a loud, frustrated groan into a pillow and receiving a couple of looks from the first years, though he didn’t pay them any notice.

It was his fault, he knew, that he was feeling like this. Because he hadn’t said anything - because he never said anything. You’d given him the chance, and plenty of opportunity and he hadn’t taken it. From fear or something else, he wasn’t sure.

He stayed laying on the couch, face buried in the pillow, thoughts of you and this Bryant kid plaguing him. Would you kiss him whilst on your date? Sirius grimaced at the idea - he hoped not.

Time passed slowly, at least, in his mind, feeling like hours had passed by the time his friends arrived in the common room to join him, though at most it could’ve only been around half an hour.

He was pouting, arms crossed as he slouched in the armchair he’d moved to, grumbling things to himself every so often and completely ignoring half the things his friends were saying, not replying to James’ jokes or Remus’ witty remarks, and barely glancing at Peter when he offered out some of the sweets he’d picked up in Hogsmeade earlier in the day.

“Alright, what’s up with you, Padfoot?” James rolled his eyes, fed up of the lack of responses from his usual partner in crime.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Sirius mumbled, though anyone could see from one glance that he was not, in fact, fine.

“He’s mad because his girlfriend is currently on a date with someone else,” Remus said with an almost smug smile, half enjoying how grumpy and jealous his friend was being over the girl he should’ve asked out a long time ago.

Sirius shot a glare over at him, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“But you want to her to be, don’t you?” James grinned, moving to lie down across the couch he was on, arms resting behind his head.

“Yes... no... I don’t know!” Sirius sighed, sitting up and hugging a pillow to his chest, “I don’t know what I want, I just know I like her and I don’t want her out with anyone else. But I don’t know if I want a relationship.”

“Well... you couldn’t really expect her to wait around for you to make a decision on this, could you?” James said pointedly, nodding over to him, “As she said to me and Lily, she’s waited long enough. You’ve been stringing her along for over a year now. Either date the girl or let her date someone else.”

Sirius frowned at that. He wanted you more than anything, but was afraid he might hurt you accidentally, or let you down. What if he said something he didn’t mean and upset you? He couldn’t handle that. It was better to keep you as a friend, right? One that he flirted with a lot.

He sighed to himself, bringing his knees up to rest his chin on them. He wanted to be with you, all of his doubts be damned. Friends don’t wanna snog their other friend against a wall do they?

And that’s what Sirius wanted to do to you.

James words bounced around his head as he paced up and down the room later in the evening. His friends had retired to their dorm room, leaving him alone to wait up for you - you still weren’t back from your date and it was nearing curfew.

He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he paced, ideas of what you could be doing making his hands curl into fists and his heart pound.

Why didn’t he just stop you from going?

Why didn’t he just tell you how much he like you?

Why-

“Sirius?”

He looked up immediately, eyes widening as he watched you enter the common room through the portrait door, a concerned look on your face as you watched his frantic pacing.

“Y/n!”

All thoughts of what he wanted to say left his head, all he could do was stare at you blankly, glad you were back, and hoping your date didn’t go well.

“What are you doing still up?” You asked, your eyes taking in his dishevelled appearance, “Were you- were you waiting for me?”

Sirius swallowed, wondering how to answer, before words began tumbling from his lips, unable to stop himself, “Um... uh, yeah. Yeah I was. I’ve been waiting for you ever since you left. I shouldn’t have let you go on the date, I didn’t want you to go. I was just too much of a coward to say anything at the time. But I kept thinking about... what if he kissed you? Or touched you? I didn’t like those thoughts. So yeah, I’ve been waiting here like you’ve been waiting for me because I’m an idiot and didn’t do anything to show you how I feel.”

Your heart was racing. You’d wanted to hear those words for over a year now, waiting through flirty conversations and near-kisses, hoping he’d give a sign he wanted to be with you.

“And how do you feel, Sirius?” You asked tentatively, dropping your gaze to your feet.

“I love you. I’m in love with you. And I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I should’ve- I should’ve. And I don’t know if your date went well, or if you’re planning on going out again, but if you still feel anything for me, please don’t. Just... be with me instead.”

He ran a hand through his hair, swallowing again and he stood in silence before you. He’d finally said it - admitted to you that he loved you. His heart was pounding, waiting for your response.

“I’ve waited and waited and you never said or did anything. Why now?”

“Because I’ve realised that anyone could come along and take you from me and I don’t want that,” he admitted, his voice dropping to barely a whisper, “I wanna be the one that takes you on dates. That kisses you and touches you. Please let me be that guy. Please.”

You stared at him for a couple of seconds, shaking your head, then broke out in a smile and stepped towards him, “It’s a good job my date was just mediocre then, huh?”

His eyes shone as he stared at you, disbelief and relief running across his face as he watched you walk closer to him, stopping just in front of him.

“You know I love you Sirius. If I’d have known all it would take was going on a date with another guy to make you admit your feelings, I would’ve done it a whole lot sooner,” you grinned.

Sirius hesitantly reached out to grab your waist, pulling you gently towards his chest and holding you there for a moment, as if he couldn’t believe he had you in his arms.

He looked at you, eyes darting across your face, taking in your features as the corner of his mouth curled up into a smile, “Does this mean I can kiss you?”

“Yes,” you nodded, the word barely escaping before his lips were on yours, pulling you into a desperate kiss, one you’d waited a year to feel, pouring all the feelings he’d kept hidden into the kiss, as you ran your hand through his dark locks.

“Guess you’ve got official dibs on me now, huh?” You laughed as you pulled away a little, Sirius still chasing your lips, “Guess I really am your girl.”

“Damn right, and I’ll make sure everyone knows it. Especially that git who took you out. You’re mine,” his grip tightened on your hips as he rested his forehead against yours, smiling at you lovingly.

It may have taken him a year, but he was finally yours, and you were his. And as he pressed his lips to yours again, you smiled into the kiss.

This was definitely worth the wait.

#sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius black imagines

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Morning Routine (Jung Wooyoung) Rated

Part Two

Pairing: Jung Wooyoung × Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Fluff.

Summary: Seeing an advertisement online in need of a camera handler, Wooyoung jumps at the opportunity, not knowing his employer is a renowned camgirl.

Word Count: 4.3+K

Warnings: Exhibitionism, voyeurism, nude taping, masturbating in shower, breast play, a rather tamed smut

Taglist: @seacottons @multidreams-and-desires @galaxteez @deja-vux @yunhofingers @little-precious-baby @brie02 @couchpotatoaniki @daniblogs164 @a-soft-hornytiny @yunsangoveryonder @minhyukmyluv @nanamarkie @mingismoon @ateezbabysitters

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"Wanted: Experienced photographer/Camera Operator for personal/private filming. If interested, please contact number below for more information or details. Students majoring in said field are welcomed to apply. 19+ only."

Seeing the advertisement, Wooyoung's eyes popped up. Usually most jobs wouldn't even allow people without a degree or years of experience. And it would be perfect practice that didn't include boring or basic projects his professor would often assign, not to mention a little extra money would come in handy.

Not thinking twice about it, he quickly dialed the phone number listed and waited patiently as it rang. It took a while, but eventually someone on the other side picked up.

"Hello?" He discerned that it was a young female's tone.

"Hi! I was calling about the advertisement for a camera man?" He inquired.

"Are you 19 or over?" She immediately asked for his age, which slightly confused him. But thinking about it, he kinda understood why she might want someone older. After all, teenagers weren't exactly reliable or responsible when it came to taking on a job. She probably wanted to avoid them dipping out on her randomly.

"I'm 21 and very serious in my work." He assured her, already making it clear his intentions to be committed to the job she was offering.

"Hmm...I take it you probably haven't had a lot of experience outside of college right?"

Wooyoung slightly gulped as she discerned correctly. But she did say students were welcomed to apply and he was fairly confident in his skills.

"N-no but I can assure you that I'll work hard and meet your expectations."

There was a deep and defeaning silence that had Wooyoung worrying. He could already feel her hesitation to hire him or give him a chance. He was so worked up on being rejected once more that the slight giggle that ensued after that pause momentarily confused him.

"I like your attitude and drive already. What did you say your name was?" She asked.

"Jung Wooyoung." He answered right away.

"Well Wooyoung, how soon can you start?"

His mood lightened up quite significantly at hearing her say those words.

"If you'd like, I can come over to the location you wish after I get done with my classes tomorrow." He offered.

"All right, just one thing....... do you think you'd be able to stay over at my place for a few nights?"

Although he thought it was a rather unusual request, he didn't put too much thought, especially since someone was offering him a chance to actually have some work.

"Um.. of course."

Unbeknownst to him, the woman on the other side had her lips curling up into a smirk.

"Wonderful. I look forward to seeing you real soon Wooyoung."

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Checking the direction that was sent to him, Wooyoung looked at the corresponding number on the front door to make sure it was indeed where he needed to be. Adjusting the bag that was hanging by his shoulders, he slowly walked up to the vintage style house and rang the doorbell. Hearing the soft patter of footsteps coming from inside, Wooyoung mentally prepared himself to see a middle aged lady carrying a Siamese cat as soon as the door opened. But he was not prepared by the sight awaiting him. Indeed there was a cat in the arms of the figure in front of him, although it was a Persian cat and not a Siamese, but that wasn't the most surprising factor. What shocked him was to see a very young woman near his age be the one holding the cat in her arms, her face illuminated by the warm smile she was donning.

"You must be Wooyoung. I'm Y/N." She extended her hand out towards him, prompting the feline in her grasp to shuffle around and climb part of its body on her shoulder. Judging by the slight crinkle of her nose, Wooyoung guessed the cat probably clung its claws into their master's skin.

"Yes I am. It's a pleasure to meet you. I promise you won't regret hiring me." Taking hold of her hand, he gave it a firm shake while his face radiated the most reassuring smile he could make.

"Oh trust me, I don't think I'm going to." Her lips formed a rather curious smirk that slightly baffled him.

She gestured for him to step inside, which he immediately did as he tried to ignore the slight hissing the Persian cat gave him when his shoulder barely made contact against its swaying tail.

"Baby stop. He's going to be around for a while so be on your best behavior." She chastised her cat as she closed the door.

Y/N let out a soft 'hmph' when the cat suddenly jumped out of her arms and ran over to where Wooyoung was standing. He got stiff and held his breath when the cat pressed her nose on his leg and began sniffing him. Pulling back, she licked her lips and then scurried off somewhere in the other part of the house.

"Well we know for sure she doesn't dislike you." Y/N chuckled slightly.

"But I take it she doesn't like me?" Wooyoung raised an eyebrow.

"She's a cat, it'll take time for her to get used to you, that's all."

Shrugging softly, Y/N walked over to the kitchen and started taking out a few cups and saucers from the cupboard.

"I was brewing tea before you got here, would you like to share a cup with me?" Removing it from the stove top, she held up the elegant teapot to him after she finished her question.

"Oh, thank you." He gladly accepted her gesture.

Noticing him standing there awkwardly, Y/N pointed to one of the chairs surrounding the kitchen island.

"Wooyoung don't be too tense and just make yourself comfortable. After all, you're going to be staying with me for a few days."

Her words reminded him about that particular part of the job, that still felt odd to him and he was very curious to find out why she needed him to stay over with her.

"So.... can I ask what exactly is this project you're hiring me for that requires me to stay here?" He asked as he pulled a chair forward so he could sit on it.

"Oh yes, I thought you'd probably ask me about that since it is rather unusual."

She paused briefly so she could properly pour the tea into the cups, the rich aroma filling the atmosphere with its notes of chamomile and lemon. After sliding a cup over to him, she turned behind her to grab a tray that contained sugar cubes, honey, steamed milk and a few lemon wedges, all in different saucers or dishes that matched the tea set that they were currently drinking in. The cute floral design amused Wooyoung slightly. He could tell Y/N seemed to have a thing for classy and vintage style aesthetic, her house and the things inside was a major clue to it.

Pouring a tiny teaspoon of honey and some milk in her tea, Y/N carefully stirred them in the cup before finally answering the question Wooyoung had been pondering over.

"Well to make a long story short, I wish to film an everyday vlog for my....channel." Lifting the cup to her face, she gently blew on it before taking small sips out of it.

"Channel? Like for YouTube or like that?" Wooyoung himself started drinking his own cup of tea, preferring not to add anything to it since he liked straight tea as it was.

"Yeah something like that. But basically, I wanted to show my viewers how I live and what not. Show them what I do inside my home that they hadn't seen before. For example, I wanted you to stay over because I wanted to film my morning routine. I want to capture every move I make from the moment I wake up to when I get ready to start my day. Am I making sense?" She worried she was probably confusing Wooyoung even further, but he was actually not. It had become a popular trend this day to document a person's morning routine for people to see.

"Yes you are, no worries. Now I understand why you needed me to stay over." The smile he had was half covered by the cup that was brought back over to his lips.

"I mean if you're uncomfortable by it or would rather not, I completely understand."

Wooyoung quickly dismissed her worries, shaking his head as he cleared his throat.

"Trust me, I'm not uncomfortable and I'd love to help you in your project. It'll help me out as well, you know, gain experience and have someone to put as a reference if I ever want to get another job."

Y/N giggled softly at that and nodded.

"Ahh yes. I guess if you look at it from that angle, of course you would accept."

They spent a few minutes in a serene and tranquil silence, the only noises heard was the sipping of their lips against the rim of their cups. Wooyoung tried not to notice the way Y/N would occasionally stare intently to him, a slightly curious grin on her face at times. It wasn't that it made him uncomfortable, but it certainly made him self conscious, especially since he put a lot of effort into looking as presentable as possible. Did she perhaps thought it was too much? Or not enough? Or was it because she thought he looked funny? Whatever it was he got no chance to ask about it since he only opened his mouth to let out a sharp yell when he felt a certain feline's claws tangled themselves on his thigh, the sharpness of her claws even sinking into his skin.

"Baby!" Y/N got up from her seat and quickly removed the paws of her cat off her guest. She looked extremely embarrased as she apologized profusely before shooing the cat off to another room.

"I'm sorry. She tends to get a bit aggressive when trying to play. She didn't hurt you too much right?"

Dropping down on her knees in front of him, Y/N gently examined the damage done: a slight tear in his jeans but no visible signs of a deep scratch or anything.

"N-no it's fine, I'm fine." Wooyoung uttered.

He tried so hard not to blush at the position she was currently in. On her knees, between his legs as one of her hands caressed the attacked spot in an effort to soothe the pain. Wooyoung wanted to smack himself right then and there for the dirty picture his brain had imagined about the semi stranger in front of him, and his cheeks started to produce a pink hue when his body involuntarily started making a visible effect of his reaction to her stance by him in between his legs. He gulped as he realized she would be able to see the bulge that was starting to show.

"If you want, I could mend your pants for you-"

"No that's fine don't worry!" Wooyoung stood up from his seat and inconspicuously hid his tiny problem by pulling his sweatshirt further down as he moved away from Y/N.

"I mean, these pants were old. I was going to throw them out anyway." He tried as much as he could to seem as normal as possible, but judging from the look on her face he was probably not doing a good job. Luckily she seemed to not question his behavior and instead decided to start cleaning up the dishes that they used.

"Here let me help you with that." Wooyoung offered, trying to take some of the china off her hands but Y/N pulled her hands back so he wouldn't touch them.

"It's ok, don't worry about it. You're my guest and I'm very particular about the way to clean my silverware and dining sets. Nothing against you, I'm just.... slightly obsessive compulsive." She remarked in the most cheerful tone one could have while giving him a shy smile.

"Umm ok..." Wooyoung scratched the back of his head.

"If you want, why don't you bring the rest of your stuff so I can show you where you're staying?" Y/N suggested.

"Yeah. Sure."

Wasting no time and thinking keeping his mind occupied could help cool him down, Wooyoung picked up his keys and nearly sprinted out the door. Y/N hummed a soft tune to herself as she ran the cups under the lukewarm water. Her eyes were staring out her window, watching as her guest was head deep in the back of his car's trunk. She giggled softly as she remembered the flustered look on his face just a few minutes ago, tongue poking out at the image of his crotch outlined in those tight jeans of his. She looked down when she felt a soft face nuzzling itself against her ankle, soft purring coming out of her cat's throat before letting out a meowing noise. Bending down, Y/N gently scratched under Baby's chin as she liked.

"Yes I think he is absolutely adorable as well Baby.."

Picking her up, Y/N kissed the top of her head and smirked.

"And I'm going to have lots of fun with him."

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"Ok you ready?"

Looking over at the girl still in her bed, Wooyoung got a thumbs up to let him know she was indeed ready. Turning on his camera, he held up his hand and started putting one finger down at a time to count down the starting time. Hearing the slight beep of the camera go off, Y/N immediately plastered on a commercial worthy smile.

"Hello my darlings. As I promised you guys, I'm going to take you guys through my morning routine step by step. I hope you all enjoy it." She finished off her words with a wink before tearing off the blanket off her body.

Wooyoung had to give it to her, she definitely didn't seem to be camera shy nor awkward in front of the lens. He liked that she had confidence. Then he remembered that she had a channel of some sorts and that was probably the reason why. He stepped back a few steps to fully capture her as she neatly tucked her covers under her mattress, impressively folding the corners of her bed like they did in 5 star hotels. Smoothing out the top before patting it down, she looked at the camera once more.

"As you already know, I like to make sure everything looks absolutely pretty for you guys." Her voice dropped slightly in tone as she said those words.

Getting up from the floor, she pointed over to her still sleeping cat that was perched on its bed by her window. Wooyoung made sure to angle the camera towards her, zooming in slightly.

"She won't wake up for another hour or so....perfect amount of time to get all clean and dolled up."

Beckoning him over, Wooyoung carefully followed her inside her adjoined bathroom, keeping a steady hand as he made sure to capture everything inside. From the long vanity with its mirror to the walk in shower with its clear glass lining, all of it looking spotless and shiny. Clapping her hands together, Y/N beamed with enthusiasm.

"And of course, the first thing I do each morning is wash up."

When he heard that, Wooyoung thought she meant like her skincare routine as he had noticed her cleansers and toners perfectly lined up next to the faucet sink. But he was not prepared to suddenly be hit with the image of her bare chest in front of him when she suddenly pulled her black satin tank top off and let it drop to the floor, his own jaw going slightly agape. As if he couldn't get anymore flustered, he nearly wheezed when she turned around and bent over to slide her matching pajama shorts down her smooth legs, her ass staring him right in the face. It took everything in Wooyoung's strength not to drop the camera when Y/N stood back up and turned around so that her completely nude body would be in the frame. She giggled as she took notice of Wooyoung's beet red face, further teasing him as she kicked her discarded lace panties by his feet, the poor boy swallowing hard as one of his hands shook nervously.

"Eyes up here baby." He immediately looked up from the ground when he heard her sweet and sultry voice.

Walking over to him, Y/N snaked one of her hands to grab at one of his belt loops so he could follow her. Opening the large glass door to the shower, Y/N released his belt loop and made a sign for him to stay there and keep the camera towards her. Stepping inside the enclosed space, she twisted the knob on the tile wall enough so that the shower head above her would start pouring out the refreshing and cool water onto her body. She released a soft moan when she felt it splash onto her, hands gliding down her torso and thighs as her eyes closed and reveled in the tingling and cooling feeling of the water dripping down on her.

Wooyoung stood there completely speechless and flabbergasted, his eyes unable to blink the longer he stared at the scene before him. It felt completely wrong to be there, to watch and film as this girl he just met the day before stand naked in front of him and continue her shower routine as if he wasn't even there. He just couldn't believe it, couldn't believe what he had gotten himself in to when he called and accepted to work for her. But he still accepted and he had a job to complete so he tried his best to look as composed as possible as he kept the camera pointed at her.

And yet more often than not he found himself biting down on his lip hard, trying to suppress the groans threatening to spill out as he continued to watch her as she did the most normal things a person often did while they took a shower. The camera captured every minute starting from when she lathered her head with her shampoo, its scent of coconut and hibiscus filling the entire room with fragrance that further made the tight feeling in Wooyoung's pants ache even more. His eyes were exclusively locked on her body, watching as the water cascaded down her soft skin, focusing especially on her breasts. He licked his lips as he took in the way her nipples peaked out due to the temperature of the water, wanting nothing more than to take one of them in his mouth and suck on it. The fact that Y/N would purposefully bring her hands up at times to cup or rub against her fleshy mounds wasn't helping his case, it only made him more sad that it wasn't his own hands touching and caressing her breasts. He was willing to bet they were probably the most soft and squishy pillow like tits to exist.

Wooyoung was really aching when she poured some of the pomegranate scented body wash into her sponge and began to distribute it around her body, starting from her arms and working them down her legs and between her thighs. He didn't mean to but he couldn't help himself as he fantasized about being him the one who was lathering her body, imagining all the things he'd do if he could. Like perhaps teasing her by grazing his fingers across her wet folds or even pressing his thumb down on her sensitive clit. Either way, he knew he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off her if he got the chance, but he doubted that would ever happen. So he decided to take what he could of the moment and perhaps use it for fap material when he was alone.

As if knowing exactly what he was thinking about, Y/N turned her body to fully face him and smirked. Sliding her hands up her torso, she took hold of her breasts and gave them a tight squeeze before releasing them. Wooyoung could not help the audible whine that spilled out from his tongue as he saw her repeat the same action a couple more times. Pressing her boobs together, her thumbs played with the hardened nipples, tweaking at them and even giving them slight pinches every now and then. Wooyoung knew she was doing it on purpose, trying to arouse him even further....and it was working perfectly.

With one hand kept on one of her breasts, the other one snaked its way in between her luscious thighs. Dipping one finger inside her entrance, her lips parted and began spilling out breathy moans as she started to slide her finger in and out of her body.

"Oh fuck..." Wooyoung muttered, not caring about if his words got recorded or not. He became too invested in watching as Y/N continued fingering herself in front of him. She looked absolutely exquisite, body drenched in the rippling water as she continued to stuff her pussy with another one of her fingers. Her eyes shut tightly and her head tilted back as she let out even louder whimpers when she began scissoring inside her fleshy core. Her hand that was on her breasts pulled away to twist the showerhead knob so the pressure of the water could be at its lowest setting. Without the intense sound of the splashing water, her strangled noises became more audible as well as the slopping and squealching sounds her dripping pussy was making due to the intensity of her rapid finger movements. Wooyoung could clearly see and hear that the sounds were definition not due to the shower she was taking. Y/N was definitely horny and the slick her heat collected was clear evidence of it.

Having someone as hot as Wooyoung not only watching but helping her film something that thousands of other people would see, and more likely than not jerk off to, made her weak. She loved having people watch her do naughty things as she was doing now, it thrilled her and riled her up even more. And she loved seeing the effects it had on others, like the obvious bulge in between Wooyoung's thick thighs. She could practically make out just how big he was given how painfully hard his erection seemed, and that image served to help push her over the edge. With high pitched whines and cries, she shuddered as she felt herself cum all over her hand, her fingers slowing their movements down to help prolong her orgasm without making her become overly sensitive. She panted heavily as she took out her fingers and brought them up to her lips so she could lick off the secretion left from her climax.

Wooyoung's tongue poked out as he witnessed the pornographic image of Y/N drinking up her juices as if it was a delicious and sweet dessert.

"It probably is and it only makes me crave to have her smother my face with her pussy even more." He mused inwardly to himself.

He was so lost in his fantasy that he didn't notice Y/N had completely turned off the water and finished until her breasts were displayed right in front of the camera lens. He let out a soft stutter when her hand came up and pressed the pause button, being careful not to drop any water onto the camera.

"I'm going to finish drying myself off in my room so you can have some .....alone time." She snorted softly as she passed by him, her hand brushing against his crotch which made Wooyoung hiss softly.

Grabbing the towel that was hanging on the wall, Y/N wrapped it around her body, tucking it in so it wouldn't fall down. Stooping over, she picked up her lace panties and looked back at Wooyoung.

"Here, in case you need a little help." She flung it over to him, which he catches in his free hand.

Wooyoung stared at the underwear and then at Y/N with a dumbfounded expression.

"So I take it this is why you specifically wanted 19 plus people?" He quirked an eyebrow up, one corner of his lips pulling up into a knowing smile.

"Yes. I might as well mention now that I'm a camgirl with a porn channel." She explained.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out when you flashed your boobs at me."

They both bursted out laughing at his little joke.

"Ok but seriously, are you sure you're comfortable with all this?" Y/N asked.

Wooyoung looked down at her before looking back down at the panties in his hand.

"I'm definitely going to be hard most of the time, but I think I'll be fine." He assured her with a mischievous smile as he set down his camera on the vanity dresser. With a sly smirk, he began unzipping his pants, not missing any of the facial reactions she was making as he began to pull his cock out of its confinement.

"I mean, I got up close fap material with an actual pornstar. What guy wouldn't want my job?" Cocking his head to the side, he rubbed the tip of his dick with his thumb, spreading some of the precum down the shaft. Although she had said she would give him alone time, Y/N couldn't move her feet out the door as she stared intently at the way Wooyoung hugged his length.

"Wanna watch me jerk off with your panties to your image?"

Stepping forward, Wooyoung reached up and pulled the towel off Y/N's body, causing her to inhale sharply at his bold move. Sucking in a breath, Wooyoung shamelessly looked down at her body as he placed the hand that had Y/N's panties around the base of his cock.

"Just stay there and don't move beautiful...."

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #ateez fluff #ateez reactions #ateez wooyoung #ateez wooyoung fluff #ateez wooyoung smut #ateez wooyoung scenarios #ateez wooyoung imagines #ateez wooyoung fanfiction #ateez wooyoung fanfic #jung wooyoung #jung wooyoung scenarios #jung wooyoung smut #jung wooyoung imagines #jung wooyoung fanfic #jung wooyoung fanfiction #jung wooyoung fluff

[sapphixxx]

I get so frustrated talking about alienation from bodies and physicality with cis people, especially cis therapists, because the only way they can view or understand it is through the lens of dysphoria, which is only viewed and understood through a highly reductive lens of "oh woe is me, my body isn't REALLY a woman's body". Like no I'm fine with my body actually, I'm not uncomfortable with how it looks or whether any of it is validly feminine, I'm uncomfortable with HAVING a body, I'm uncomfortable living in a society that puts my body under constant surveillance and dissection.

Like, my body is a doll or an automoton or a car, even. I like it very much. I built it myself. I'm proud of it. I think it's beautiful, in the way that a restored muscle car is beautiful. I spent quite a lot of time customizing it, I fitted and polished every piece by hand, painstakingly making sure the moving pieces fit together right. But I was learning to build it while I was building it. Which means some parts are more crudely made than others. Some of them just need to be polished and greased so things don't rub together. Some of them fit too loosely. I can wrap tape around them to make it tight, but that's not a permanent fix, I might have to make the piece from scratch again. Some of the moving pieces aren't flexible enough. Can they be modified, or do I need to make a major overhaul?

Does anybody but me know how to operate it? And that really is the word for it--operate. It is a machine that does what I want when I pull the right levers in the right order. Something prone to malfunction and accident if not maintained or driven correctly. What is navigating a social interaction let alone a physical one except a complex string of inputs, outputs, and responses.

This one is fine, but couldn't it be better? Now that I know everything came down to how I made it, I notice the limits. I notice how by design it is. I notice all the convoluted Rube Goldbergian mechanisms that perform functions that should by all rights be very simple. I notice that I'm a collection of parts put together, and those parts are limited by my skill in making them.

Society sees me in a similar, but fundamentally different light. A Frankenstein's monster of different pieces put together with malicious intent that require supervision, limitations, and punishment. I am not a whole person in the eyes of cis society. I am a male tainted by perverse femininity and vice versa. A man afflicted with breasts and delusions of beauty. A woman infected with facial hair like a parasitic fungus, and a rotting pit of predatory impulses where a moral center should be.

None of this has to do with dysphoria in the sense that it is traditionally defined as--a conflict between gender identity and assigned sex. It is a much more complex kind of unease rooted in what it means to be a person at all--to ourselves, to others, and in a society at large. What it means to exist both in the specific and the abstract.

#transposting #personal

[dirk-has-rabies]

Gender variance and it's link with neurodivergency

Okay so this is it going to be another long one

All quotes will be sourced with a link to the scientific journal I took it from

Okay Tumblr, let's talk gender (I know, your favorite topic) my preface on why this topic matters to me is: I'm autistic ( diagnosed moderate to severe autism) I'm nonbinary trans ( in a way that most non-autistic people don't understand and actually look down on)  and I went to college for gender study ( Mostly for intersex studies but a lot of my research was around non-binary and trans identities) I will be using the term autism as pants when I have experience with however when ADHD is part of the study I will use ND which stands for neurodivergent and yes this is going to be about xenogenders and neopronouns.

autism can affect gender the same way autism can affect literally every part of an identity. a big thing about having autism is the fact that it completely can change how you view personhood and time and object permanence and gender and literally all types of socially constructed ideas. let me also say hear that just because Society creates and enforces an idea does it mean that it doesn't exist to all people it just me that there is no nature law saying that it's real and the “rules” for these ideas can change and delete and create as time and Society evolves and changes.  gender is one of those constructs.

Now I'll take it by you reading this you know what transgender people are  (if you don't understand what a trans person is send me an ask and I'll type you up a pretty little essay lmao,  or Google it but that's a scary thought sense literally any Source or website can come up on Google including biased websites so be careful I guess LOL) anyway to be super basic trans people are anyone who doesn't identify as the gender they were assigned at Birth (yes that includes non-binary people I could do a whole nother essay about that shit how y'all keep spreading trying to separate non-binary people from the trans umbrella)  some people don't like to use the label and that is totally fine by the way.

now autistic people to view the world in a way differently than allistic (neurotypical) ppl do.  we don't take everything people teach us at 100% fact and we tend to question everything and demand proof and evidence for things before we can set it as a fact in our brains. This leads to why a lot of autistic people are atheist (although a lot of religions and this is not bashing on religious people at all I am actually a Jewish convert)  this questioning leads to a lot of social constructs being ignored or not understood At All by a lot of autistic people and personally I think that's a good thing.  allistics take everything their parents and teachers and schools teach them as fact until someone else says something and then they pick which ones to believe. autistic people study and research and learn about a topic before forming an opinion and while this may lead to them studying and believing very biased material and spitting it out as fact it can also lead them to try and Discover it is real by themselves.

because of this autistic people are more question their gender or not fall in a binary way at all as the concept of gender makes no sense to a lot of us. “ if gender is a construct then autistic people who are less aware of social norms are less likely to develop a typical gender identity”

no really look: “ children and teens with autism spectrum disorder ASD or Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder ADHD  are much more likely to express a wish to be the opposite sex compared with their typical developing peers” That was posted in 2014. we have been saying this stuff forever but no one wants to listen. the thing is gender variance (being not cisgender or at least questioning it)  has always been closely hand-in-hand with autistic and ADHD people I'm even the doctor who did that study understood right away that it all made sense the whole time: “ Dr. Strang said they were initially surprised to find an overrepresentation of gender variance among children with ADHD. However, they later realized that prior studies have shown increased levels of disruptive behavior and other behavioral problems among young people with gender variance”  SEE YOURE NOT WEIRD YOURE JUST YOU AND YOURE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!

5% autistic people who did the study were trans or questioning. it was also equal between the Sexes fun fact. that may not seem like a lot till you realize that the national average is only .7% that's literally over 700% higher than the national average. That's so many! and that's just in America.

 in Holland there was a study in 2010 “ nearly 8% of the more than 200 Children and adolescents referred to a clinic for gender dysphoria also came up positive on a assessment for ASD” they weren't even testing for ADHD so the numbers could be even higher!

now I want to talk about a  certain section of the trans umbrella that a lot of autistic people fall under called the non-binary umbrella. non-binary means anything that isn't just male or just female. it is not one third gender and non-binary doesn't mean that you don't have a gender. just clearing that up since cis people keep spreading that. non-binary is an umbrella term for any of the infinite genders you could use or create. now this is where I'm going to lose a bunch of you and that's okay because you don't have to understand our brains or emotions To respect us as real people. not many allistics can understand how we see and think and relate to things and that's okay you don't have to understand everything but just reading about this could be so much closer to respecting us for Who We Are from you've ever been and that's better than being against us just for existing.

now you might have heard of my Mutual Lars who was harassed  by transmeds for using the term Autigender (I was going to link them but if it gets traction I don't want them to get any hate)  since a lot of people roll their eyes at that  and treated them disgustingly for using a term that 100% applied correctly.  Autigender  is described as " a neurogender which can only be understood in the context of being autistic or when one's autism greatly affects one's gender or how one experiences gender. Autigender is not autism as a gender, but rather is a gender that is so heavily influenced by autism that one's autism and one's experience of gender cannot be unlinked.” Now tell me that doesn't sound a lot like this entire essay I've been working on with full sources…..

xenogenders and neopronouns are a big argument point on whether or not people “believe” in non binary genders but a big part of those genders is that they originated from ND communities and are ways that we can try to describe what gender means us in a way that cis or even allistic trans people just can't comprehend or ever understand. Same with MOGAI genders or sexualities. A lot of these are created as a way to somehow describe an indescribable relationship with gender that is so personal you really cant explain it to anyone who isnt literally the same as you.

Even in studies done with trans autistic people a large amount of them dont even fall on a yes or no of having a gender at all and fall in some weird inbetween where you KINDA have a gender but its not a gender in the sense that others say it is but its also too much of a gender so say youre agender. And this is the kind of stuff that confuses allistic trans people and makes them think nonbinary genders are making stuff up for attention, which isnt true at all we just cant explain what it feels like to BE a trans autistic person to anyone who doesnt ALREADY know how it feels.

In this study out of the ppl questioned almost HALF of the autistic trans individuals had a “Sense of identity revolving around interests” meaning their gender and identity was more based off what they liked rather than boy or girl. That makes ppl with stuff like vampgender or pupgender make a lot more sense now doesnt it? We see that even in the study: “My sense of identity is fluid, just as my sense of gender is fluid […] The only constant identity that runs through my life as a thread is ‘dancer.’ This is more important to me than gender, name or any other identifying features… even more important than mother. I wouldn't admit that in the NT world as when I have, I have been corrected (after all Mother is supposed to be my primary identification, right?!) but I feel that I can admit that here. (Taylor)” and an agreement from another saying “Mine is Artist. Thank you, Taylor. (Jessie)” now dont you think if they grew up with terms like artistgender or dancergender they would just YOINK those up right away????

In fact “An absence of a sense of gender or being unsure of how their gender should “feel” was another common report” because as ive said before in this post AUTISTIC PEOPLE DONT SEE GENDER THE WAY ALLISTIC PEOPLE SEE IT. therefore we wont use the same terms or have the same identities nor could we explain it to anyone who doesnt already understand or question the same way! Participants even offered up quotes such as “As a child and even now, I don't ‘feel’ like a gender, I feel like myself and for the most part I am constantly trying to figure out what that means for me (Betty)” and also “I don't feel like a particular gender I'm not even sure what a gender should feel like (Helen)”

Now i know this isnt going to change everyones minds on this stuff but i can only hope that it at least helped people feel like theyre not broken and not alone in their feelings about this. You dont have to follow allistic rules. You dont have to stop searching inside for who you really wanna be. And you dont have to pick or choose terms forever because just as you grow and evolve so may your terms. Its okay to not know what or who you are and its okay to identify as nonhuman things or as your interests because what you love and what you do is a big part of who you are and shapes you everyday. Its not a bad thing! Just please everyone, treat ppl with respect and if you dont understand something that doesnt make it bad or wrong it just means its not for you. And thats okay.

#autism #actuallyautistic #trans #nonbinary #xenogenders #neopronouns #lgbtq #adhd #nuerodivergent #gender identity

[knoxyourself]

I went for it

Pairing: Wolfstar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Balck)

Words: 2,7k

Warnings: none I think

(english is not my first language so it's not perfect)

The ‘Gryffindor Pride’ party was incredibly loud, as everyone probably expected. They just won the Quidditch Cup third year in a row, it was a good reason for a party. But then again, one could always find a great reason to party with Gryffindors.

Muggle booze, brought by Mary, and Firewhiskey were flowing like waterfalls, which meant that everyone was having a great time. If not, they were few drinks away from it and soon enough it’d be just fine.

It was probably the last party of the year, right before the exams, so in all honesty everyone wanted to loosen up a little.

That’s why two sixth years were handing out bottles of butterbeer to everyone, who passed their ‘station’ at the table. Sirius and James were never ones to give up some fun, although Sirius had decided to stay sober that night. It didn’t stop him from getting James, who was currently laughing at something with Marlene, incredibly pissed.

Remus silently watched their interaction from the other sofa. He was slightly tipsy himself, but not to the point where he’d have a hangover the next morning. He watched James acting like a goofball in front of Lily – that’s when Remus heard the laugh.

His eyes involuntarily fixated on Sirius’s profile. The black-haired boy looked like he was glowing. His silvery eyes were shimmering with joy, bright smile plastered on his incredibly alluring lips. He realized, that he wanted to know what the boy tasted like, he wanted to examine every single part of Sirius’s body with his fingertips, he wanted Sirius, and he wanted Sirius to acknowledge that fact. Merlin, Remus was definitely feeling the impact of alcohol he consumed. Remus knew that he had a silly crush on the dark-haired boy, he fancied Sirius Black and he was somewhat okay with that, he just hadn’t realized, that his desire was that intense. Sirius was his best friend for fucks sake, he wasn’t keen on ruining it. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, Remus slouched in his place, eyes still eagerly absorbing Sirius’s features. He only shifted his gaze when Lily plumped next to him on the couch.

“You look like you’re having fun,” she said, sarcasm present in her voice. “What’s up?”

“I am having fun.” He retorted rolling his eyes. “I think I’m drunk tho.”

Lily laughed loudly, shaking her head with amusement. She definitely drank more than the light-haired boy.

“Drunk?” she mused. “You’ve had like, what, two butterbeers?”

“I don’t do good with alcohol.”

“That’s bullshit and we both know it.” Lily had a pretty good idea why Remus’s mood suddenly changed. She wasn’t stupid, she could see the longing eyes, hidden smiles, Remus’s blushing whenever Sirius came way too close. They were both more obvious than they thought. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me what’s, or rather who’s, on your mind. I think I already know enough.”

“What d’you mean?” Remus felt his ears heating up.

“Nothing,” she smiled sympathetically, patting his back. “But I think you should talk to him. I have a feeling that you won’t regret it.”

With that said, she was gone, jumping back on to the dance floor.

The moment when Remus’s eyes shifted back to Sirius, Queen’s Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy started playing on full volume. It was Lily’s doing, but Remus would never know that part of the story. He let the girls words sink in to his brain. He knew that he’d have to talk to Sirius at some point, but until that, he’d rather avoid the topic.

When he heard the first notes of the song, Sirius felt a pair of eyes staring at him. He didn’t turn around immediately. Sirius noticed Remus’s gaze earlier and he hoped that it was also the light-haired boy this time. It was a weird feeling, being watched by Remus. It always made Sirius’s stomach twist and he felt like he was drowning. But it was a good kind of drowning, he was drowning in his own feelings. The positive ones. Finally, he gave in and locked eyes with his best friend.

Remus’s eyes were smooth, warm. Almost soothing. When Sirius stared into them, he felt like he was home.

They were gazing into each other’s eyes for quite some time. Sirius needed more. He knew that Remus didn’t feel the same, but to wish was not a crime, right? He shook his head and tapped James’s shoulder.

“Prongs, I’m gonna go to Remus, you’ll be okay?” he asked the boy.

James wasn’t anywhere near sober, quite the opposite actually. He was currently arguing with equally pissed Marlene and Mary over the latter’s sexual experiences. He turned to face Sirius when he felt the tap.

“Wha-? Oh, Re-mus, sure.” James slured, sly grin forming on his lips. “Go get ‘em tiger!” He threw fist in the air while both girls laughed their asses off.

Sirius rolled his eyes in amusement, he’s never seen James this drunk.

“Don’t let him touch any more firewhiskey Marls.” Sirius looked pleadingly at the blonde.

“You are notme mother, Black.” James stumbled trying to stand up, and fell face first on the table. That of course caused another fit of laughter from the girls and a pained groan from James.

While Sirius tried to get rid of his drunk company, Remus found himself talking to a sixth year Ravenclaw. Justin Haywood sat next to him on the couch and offered him Remus’s third butterbeer.

Justin was slightly shorter than Sirius but equally good looking. He had a define jawline, deep emerald eyes that were now glossy from all the alcohol, and a blond buzzcut. He, unlike Sirius, played Quidditch so his shoulders were much broader. It suited him well.

Remus knew Justin from his Advanced Charms study group, they got along quite well. With Justin everything was easy, there wasn’t any distracting emotions, he could just talk to him and admire his physical appearance, not like with Sirius. Sirius was complicated, Remus never really knew what the dark-haired boy thought about him.

“I don’t think I understood our last assignment correctly.” Justin sighed relying slightly on Remus’s shoulder. They were going through last Charms lesson, really interesting topic to dig into during a party. “There’s shit-load of theory.”

Justin apparently was much more full-mouthed after couple of drinks. Not that Remus minded, he wasn’t a saint himself.

“I’m sure you got it just fine,” the light-haired boy laughed gingerly. “But I can help you if you’re really that worried.”

At that point Sirius finally left James with the girls. He searched the room for Remus and that’s when he saw it. Justin’s arm around Remus’s shoulders, the Ravenclaw boy leaning slightly on Remus. He came closer so he could listen on their conversation.

“So,” Haywood started with a pleased smile. “Hogsmeade this weekend?”

Unfortunately, form his place Sirius couldn’t see Remus’s face, only his back, which tensed slightly after Justin’s question.

“Oh, I um- I thought we could go over it on the study group meeting?”

Sirius wondered what was this all about, but he didn’t want to expose himself just yet.

“Well, it’s a hell of a work, I think we can meet up one on one, y’know?” Remus nodded his head, still a little tense. “So, Hogsmeade?”

“I’m actually going with James, Sirius and Peter.” Said Remus. “Sorry.”

“Aw, c’mon man!” Justin groaned playfully. “I’m sure Potter and his bitches can manage one day without you.”

Remus laughed stiffly when Justin pulled him even closer to his chest.

That was probably when Sirius lost it. Haywood was way too close to Remus, he didn’t like it. He clenched his fists and shoved them into the pockets of his jean jacket. After little to no thinking he stepped right in front of the two sixth years.

“I’m truly moved Haywood, that you care ‘bout my well being.” He sneered. “Problem is, Hogsmeade is kind of a tradition for us.”

Justin looked up lazily.

“Bullshit, you’ve missed lots of Hogsmeade trips.” He said defiantly.

“Doesn’t change the fact that Moony made plans with us first so you can kindly fuck off.”

Now it was Remus’s turn to grow mildly annoyed. He freed himself from Justin’s embrace and stood up in front of Sirius.

“What the hell Padfoot?! I can speak for myself.” He growled and then turned to face Justin. “I’m sorry Justin, but he’s right. He’s incredibly nosy, but he’s right. I can’t just cancel it, I already promised Peter I’ll go with him to Honydukes while we’re all there.”

Justin looked really disappointed for a moment, but then he just smiled brightly at Remus and also got up from the couch.

“Nah, it’s cool Remmy. We can go next time.” He caressed Remus’s cheek and disappeared in the crowd.

“Moony-“

“Don’t. Say. A. Word.” Remus cut him off sharply. “Why did you feel the need to speak on my behalf?”

Sirius didn’t answer, instead he just followed Remus through the portrait out of the common room.

“Maybe I wanted to go with him.” Remus stated sternly.

“Did you?” Sirius looked up at the boy when he finally caught up to him. “You wanted to go with him?”

Remus wouldn’t dare to say that, no, he didn’t want to go to Hogsmeade with Justin fucking Haywood. He wanted to go with Sirius. So instead of answering the question, Remus pretended not to hear.

“Great,” Sirius sighed annoyed. “Besides, I don’t really appreciate being called James’s bitch. If anything, James would definitely be my bitch.”

“Yeah sure, forgot what a princess you are.” Remus laughed despite himself. “You got any cigarettes on you?”

Sirius did a quick search through his pockets to discover that he did in fact had a pack of cigarettes. He pulled them out in triumph.

“Great. I need one.” Remus started walking up the stairs to Astronomy Tower. “You comin’?”

“You’re not mad anymore?” Sirius asked anxiously. He hated when Remus was mad at him, it always resulted in some nasty sleepless nights.,

Remus sighed heavily when they reached the top.

“I wasn’t mad in the first place.” He said after a while. “I was annoyed.”

“Well either way, I’m sorry.” Sirius handed him a cigarette. “I shouldn’t have eavesdrop or talk like I knew what you wanted.”

The light-haired boy nodded, smiling in Sirius’s direction.

“I think what annoyed me the most, was the fact that you actually knew what I wanted.” He mused. Sirius furrowed his brows questioningly, so Remus continued. “I didn’t want to go to Hogsmeade with Justin Haywood. I’d much rather hang out with my friends.”

“Good to know.” Sirius said, lighting both of their cigarettes. “You should really start going for what you really want. You deserve to be happy, you know?”

They were smoking in silence for several minutes. Sirius was admiring Remus from the corner of his eyes. Everyone knew, that Remus Lupin with a cigarette was a sight you’d want to see. It wasn’t unseen or unheard of, but it was definitely rare. And it was absolutely beautiful. It was bringing out two different, almost conflicted sides of the boy. His soft sweaters would always smell like smoke after, which changed his entire aesthetic immediately. From the soft looking-sweet-well mannered-nerdy guy that everyone knew and adored, Remus was becoming the fourth marauder, troublemaker who only a few people got to see every day. Sirius of course knew, that he was still the same guy, it was just his aura and how other people perceived him was changing, but it still was, truly, remarkable (and it was turning him on quite a bit). The way Lupin’s lips were curling around the rolled paper, almost like the cigarettes were made perfectly for his curved lips. The way smoke fell from his mouth, floating near his chin for a little longer, like it wanted to stay with him. And the smell of burning chocolate, warm and rich. In conclusion – Remus Lupin smoking cigarettes, Sirius’s cigarettes especially, was something that the dark-haired boy would willingly watch till the day he dies.

While smoking, Remus could only think about one thing. Sirius’s reaction was way out of his character. Sure, the boy was chaotic, blunt and incredibly hotheaded, impulsive, but he and Justin seemed to get along just fine before the party, even more, Sirius commented on the Ravenclaw’s Quidditch talent few times, they sometimes chatted in corridors. So what changed? Maybe, just maybe… No, he couldn’t get his hopes too high.

Remus needed answers. That’s why, when their cigarettes were almost finished, he spoke up.

“Why did you do that tho?” he asked, fully turning his body so he’d face Sirius.

“I did what?” Sirius asked visibly confused.

“Reacted that way.” Remus rolled his eyes.

“He was flirting with you, if you didn’t notice.” Sirius mumbled and Remus’s heart skipped a bit. “You were a bit tense, so I stepped in. He deserved it tho, that guy’s a git, you can do better.”

“What do you mean?” Remus asked slightly confused.

“I mean, that you don’t have to limit yourself to just okay guys. And girls. You can date people, that you really like. You just have to start taking what you want. You deserve love, Moony. Don’t settle on guys like Justin just because they show interest in you.”

Remus was so stunned by Sirius’s rant, that he didn’t really know what to say. So he said the first thing that came to his mind. Why was this boy doing it to him?

“I thought you liked Justin.”

“Haywood?” Sirius snorted, he stubbed their cigarettes with his shoe and shifted his attention back to Remus. “He’s a fucking narcissist. And he’s build like a truck.”

“Truck?” Remus laughed, putting his hand on Sirius’s shoulder. He didn’t eve realized they were that close. “I happen to think that he’s quite fit.” He said as he was quite obviously checking Sirius out, love pouring out of his eyes.

“Oh, do you, now?” Sirius’s smile dropped slightly. Remus couldn’t believe that this boy could be so dense. He decided to see, how far he could go with this.

“I do, he’s a really fit bloke.” He took another step closer to Sirius. “Objectively looking, that is.”

“You know any other fit blokes?” Sirius gulped.

That was it, Remus was either fully going for it, or he was running away from his feeling as he always did. He was really close to doing the latter, but then he remembered Lily’s words from earlier. Then there was also Sirius’s behavior. Maybe there was a chance? He had to know.

Fuck it, he thought, I’m going for it.

“Fit? Yeah, but I’d rather call him beautiful.” He tried to make his voice sound as confident as he could. Their chest’s were now only centimeters away. “But I don’t think he’s got the same opinion ‘bout me.”

“Well that’s some bullshit.” Sirius breathed shakily. The dark-haired boy never seemed that nervous, Remus noted. “Everyone thinks you’re stunning.”

“You think so?” Remus whispered, his gaze dropping to Sirius’s lips for barely a second.

“Yeah. I do.” Sirius nodded eagerly. “You should totally go for it, you never know until you try it, right?”

“Right.”

This time Remus’s eyes lingered on the other boy’s lips longer. It wasn’t like in all those tacky romantic books that Lily adored so much. There wasn’t any slow-mo moment, the world didn’t magically disappear or went completely quiet. The opposite actually. Remus was extra aware of everything, every little sound was echoing in his head, he could hear his own heart pounding. Everything was screaming do it!And Sirius looked so fucking beautiful, constellations of stars locked safely in his silver eyes. Before he could register anything else, Remus was kissing Sirius.

Remus was kissing Sirius.

After all this time of hopelessly dreaming about it, he was finally doing it. He was kissing the Sirius Black.

And Sirius was actually kissing him back.

It wasn’t perfect, there was no fireworks, no orchestra playing in the background. It was rather messy, chaotic and rushed. Just two teenage boys kissing at the top of a tower in the middle of the night. But it was the best feeling in the world.

But like everything, it had to stop at some point.

Sirius gently pushed him back. Not far tho, just so he could rest his forhead against Remus’s.

“What was that?” he asked in a weak, happy voice.

Remus didn’t even had to think twice about the answer.

“I went for it.”

#wolfstar #wolfstar headcanon #wolfstar fluff #wolfstar first kiss #wolfstar au #remus lupin #sirius black #atyd #gryffindor #house party #lgbtq #lgbt headcanons #marauders era #marauders #james potter #lily evans

[lil-lycanthropy]

How to write an essay (especially when you struggle with writing essays)

[Image Description: A graphic titled “BASIC ESSAY STRUCTURE”. There are 3 sections. The first section is regarding the introduction, labelled “Agonize for an hour”. The second section is regarding the body, labelled “oh hell yes i can do this no problem i got stuff to say i’m on a roll”. The third section is regarding the conclusion, labelled “I am going to walk into the sea”. /End Image Description]

I saw this post about essay writing with this as the structure and I just. Screamed a bit. The outline above (imo) makes a very boring essay that is UNNECESSARILY DIFFICULT to write. I was gonna just add onto the post, but I thought I’d make my own because I have a LOT to say.

So, to start off, I have spent far too long making this handy-dandy graphic with an essay structure that I find to be a lot more helpful.

[Image Description: A graphic titled “ESSAY OUTLINE”. There are 7 sections. They include the outline for the Introduction, Body, and Conclusion, along with tips for all three, and then a section for General Tips. /End Image Description]

There’s some pretty lengthy explanations under the cut, and I spent way too long on this. However, I’m passionate about writing and hate seeing how much people struggle to write simply because they haven’t been given the right tools.

Without further ado, here we go!

Introduction (1 paragraph)

Opening Statement: This is your intro/hook. With an effective opening sentence, you want to introduce the main topic of the paper, and make it interesting for the reader to draw them in. The introductory sentence should be somewhat objective; your thesis will be your arguing point, but we need to know the general topic without the bias. As for the hook part—your prof/TA/teacher/whoever is grading your paper has read the same paper 600 times. Your paper probably won’t be entirely unique, BUT you can still make it stand out. This is where the “hook” comes in. An easy way to do this is to simply start with a verb. Reading papers that all start with “the” or “a” can get really repetitive and boring, so an action word can be a good way to grab the reader’s attention. You don’t want your opening statement to be too long; a sentence or two should be your goal.

Allude to Thesis: Right after the opening statement, use a sentence to briefly allude to your thesis (the stance you’ll be taking on the topic). This way, you can state your argument points without having to worry about wording your thesis correctly right away, or risk your thesis getting lost within the introduction. This is kinda a segue to your points rather than its own official “section”, so keep it brief. 

Outline Supporting Points: These are the points that help support your argument. Avoid using a list form for this by using things like semi-colons or commas; each supporting point should have its own sentence. Saying that, definitely use transition words to help the sentences flow together so it doesn’t just seem like a laundry list. Don’t limit yourself to three points unless that’s explicitly part of the assignment. At least two is good if you can expand on them enough to do the paper, but don’t be afraid to use four or five if you’re still able to stay within the limits and expand on them enough to be individual points. However, sometimes too many points can make it hard to expand, so see if you can group some together if you have too many. 

Thesis: Your thesis should be a statement, subjective, demonstrable, and specific. It therefore should not be a question, objective, hypothetical, or vague. This is because your thesis is a definitive stance on a specific issue or topic that you can prove with evidence. As for placement, I always put my thesis at the very end of the introduction. I would say it’s up to personal preference whether to put it at the beginning or the end, but please never put it in the middle. When it’s in the middle, it’s very likely that it won’t stand out as a thesis, and then you’d have to come up with both an opening and closing statement, which is hard. I like putting it at the end because I find that if I do it at the beginning, it can be REALLY hard to balance having a clear thesis while also introducing your paper and making it interesting. Plus, if it’s at the end of your first paragraph, it still stands out, you don’t have to do a concluding statement, you don’t have to balance any other aspect of writing (like an intro or hook) with it, AND it creates the perfect transition to your supporting points. Limit your thesis statement to one or two sentences—you want it to stand out to the reader as the thesis, and you don’t want to muddle the message by being too detailed. You’ll have the rest of the paper to expand.

Body (2-10+ paragraphs)

Introduce Evidence: For each piece of supporting evidence (your main points), make sure you introduce them clearly before actually explaining everything about them. Don’t be afraid to word it in an interesting way (although remember, you still want your message to be clear!). I also want to give you an incredibly important tip: the amount of supporting points you have DOES NOT have to correspond with the amount of body paragraphs you have. They drill the five-paragraph essay outline into you for years, and it’s BORING—for you and whoever’s grading your paper. It’s also bad writing, because then you get unnaturally long paragraphs that take up a page and a half. So, unless your assignment rubric says otherwise, don’t be afraid to get creative with the paragraph amount. Always start a new paragraph when introducing a new main point, but definitely consider splitting the main point into two or three paragraphs if needed. Disclaimer: sometimes if you have to split a point into multiple paragraphs, that means you might want to consider splitting the main point into multiple main points. On the other hand, sometimes combining two main points into one can help make a paragraph more substantial.

Expand: For each point, expand. Explain any extra details. Relate the explanations back to your main point so you can stay on target and not go on tangents that take up half the page. 

Connect to Thesis: After you expand each point, as a concluding statement, relate the main point back to the thesis (the whole point of the paper!). Anyone can list evidence—show that you understand why this evidence is connected and how it proves your stance. If you can’t connect the point to your thesis, it’s probably not relevant or you need to do more research. By making the connection between the evidence and your thesis, 1. This is how you get bonus marks, and 2. It makes for an excellent concluding statement/transition to the next main point.

Repeat: For each main point, follow the structure of introduce-expand-connect.

Conclusion (1 paragraph)

Restate Thesis/Main Points: Rather than coming up with another introductory statement, restate your thesis and the main points that helped to prove your thesis. Please try to reword it so it’s not repetitive, and it’s best to keep the restating brief. You’ve already established all of this in your paper, so you don’t need too much detail. A sentence or two is fine. Another tip is to avoid basic concluding words. Sometimes it’s unavoidable, but definitely avoid the ones that involve the word “conclude” or its derivatives (e.g. “in conclusion”; to conclude”, etc.). Keep this part to one or two sentences to avoid the dreaded repetition.

Explain Relevance/Make Connections: Here is something I NEVER see in the common essay templates, and honestly, I feel like it’s one of the most important things with essay writing. It’s the difference between just another essay in a pile of 200, and one that stands out as exemplary. SO. We know your thesis. We know your evidence. You’ve even briefly restated it in case we forgot. Now, WHY is your thesis (and by extension, the paper you just spent a few hours on) actually important? Why is it relevant? Who cares? You don’t want to give too much “new” information, but you really should be able to find some connection as to why your paper matters. Because if you don’t see the point in it, how are you gonna convince the reader that your paper is worth reading? Essays are about arguments, yes, and convincing people that You’re Correct and You Know Things, but you need to be able to connect with other things to see the true relevance. Make connections, folks!

Concluding Statement: Truly the bane of anyone’s existence. A good tip is to look at it as your Mic Drop moment—your time to wrap it up, drop the mic, and walk offstage. Tie your thesis, evidence, and connections together into a sentence or two with a little pizzazz and sense of finality, leaving no room to argue. 

General Tips

Know your audience: This can sometimes help with finding the balance between over- and under-explaining things. With essays, the person grading (the audience) is probably a bit above your current level, unless it’s being marked by another student or something. So write at your level—or the average level of your class/group. For example, if you’re in a second-year university biology class, you probably don’t need to explain what photosynthesis means. But if your essay is on a little known technique to measure chlorophyll levels in plants, you might need to explain some things that you already know, but others might not. Remember, your goal is neither to dumb yourself down nor put yourself on an academic pedestal—your goal is to communicate a message in an effective way that can be understood by the appropriate audience.

Pick a relevant topic: Sometimes this doesn’t apply, as you have limited choices. But, whenever possible, choose a topic that you actually know something about and/or are willing to write about. Sometimes even asking your teacher/prof if you can choose your own topic is worth it. The main point: picking something you find interesting makes you more willing to put in the work to write a good essay. Pick you favourite topic out of the options (or, at a minimum, the one yo hate the least).

Experiment with the writing process: Some people swear it’s easier to write the conclusion first, while others absolutely have to write the essay in chronological order. Some people need to finish what they start, some people need to flit around and add things as they think of them. Ultimately, the order you write things is very much a personal preference, and something worth experimenting with if you’re struggling!

Cater to your writing needs: Writers will tell you that they need to set up a space to write. Some people like writing on their bed or in a cafe. Some people need absolute quiet while others can’t focus without background noise. Some people need frequent breaks for the best results, others need to sit through until they’re done. The time of day can affect your writing—writing in the morning might be really difficult if you’re most alert at midnight. Lastly, experiment with different media. Maybe writing on a laptop just doesn’t work for you, and pen and paper is the way to go. Typewriters are fun. Microsoft Word might work better for you than Google Docs. Find out what works for you and gets you into a writing headspace.

Repetition and word choice: To avoid sounding like a broken record, make sure you use a different first (and even last) word for each paragraph. I always notice when an essay writer only starts paragraphs with the word “the”. Another helpful way to vary your word choice at the beginning of paragraphs is to use different types of word, preferably words that aren’t articles (a, an, or the). Using a noun, verb, or transition word can keep things interesting and help your writing flow.

Write with an active voice: Writing with an active, positive, and resolute voice fortifies your writing. An active voice is when the subject is the focus rather than the object, whereas a passive voice is the opposite. Example: “Sally ate a grape” is active because Sally (subject) ate a grape (object). “A grape was eaten by Sally” is passive because the grape (object) was eaten by Sally (subject). Essentially, if the sentence includes (or could include) “by [Subject]”, it’s passive. Even if you wrote “A grape was eaten,” that’s still passive. An active voice includes the subject doing the action, whereas a passive voice includes the object having something done to it. It’s a wishy-washy way of writing, though it’s sometimes inevitable in formal writing because you can’t use subjective pronouns. As for a positive voice, it doesn’t mean your essay has to be happy or perky—it means your writing, when possible, should focus on the positive part (what did happen or was added) rather than the negative part (what didn’t happen or was taken away). Example: “Sally didn’t eat an apple” is negative, because it just says what Sally didn’t do. “Sally ate a grape” is positive because it said what she did do. Lastly, use a resolute voice. Be concise and to the point without muddling the message with unnecessary words. Example: “Sally just a grape” is tentative. “Sally ate a grape” is resolute. Word like “just”, “maybe”, “really”, “perhaps”, “necessarily” are not resolute and can weaken your argument. Definitely take this advice for your thesis. 

Communicate clearly: Using long or complicated words can improve your writing—but if they’re overused or used unnecessarily, it can actually weaken your argument because no one understands what you’re trying to say under all that academic jargon. If you can’t explain your argument in an understandable way, you probably don’t have a good grasp of your argument. This isn’t to discredit people who have a hard time articulating while writing or people who need to use complicated words—but the whole point of a paper is to communicate a message in an effective way. If you’re too caught up in using big words, it’s very easy to lose the actual focus of the paper.

Fortify your opening/closing statements: If the person grading your paper has a lot of other papers to go through, they’re not gonna read every word you write. Focus on strengthening your first and last sentences of each paragraph to perhaps improve your mark with the graders who skim.

Proofread: PLEASE read through and edit your work. You don’t have to completely rewrite your paper (who has the time???), but definitely proofread it when you’re done. If possible (I know it isn’t always, but it really helps), give yourself as much time as possible, then do another read through. Even waiting an hour or two and then going through it again can help you catch some last-minute mistakes. When you’ve been staring at the same paper for three hours, you kinda just ignore the mistakes because they’re burned into your brain. Going back can help you catch them and fix them before handing it in. Double check the assignment requirements, including formatting, sources, grammar, etc.

Kudos to you if you made it to the end! This took me 4 hours? 5? I hope it helps some of you in school. Essays can be a really fun thing to write if you’re passionate about the topic, and they shouldn’t be nearly as hard as school makes them. Even if you didn’t read this whole thing, I hope my graphic can be helpful! The original essay structure from the other post made me mad because no wonder some of you guys struggle! When you don’t have the tools, it makes life difficult.

Here’s a pic of my cat and dog for making it this far!

End note: I’ve never done an image description so I apologize if it’s not perfect!

#writing #writing advice #quasimodo speaks #i spent so long on this pleaseeee #essay #school #college #university #paper #education #advice #life hack #infographic

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Uhh nefore further reading, I apologise if this ask is triggering to the trans mods. I understand if they don’t want to look at it or answer. Having said that, here goes the question:

How common do you think is to be jealous of other queer identities? For context, I am bisexual and I currently identify as nonbinary (trans misogyny exempt) and for the past months I’ve been feeling jealous of trans men and other transmasculine people who’d rather be seen as men than as women in society. I can’t help thinking “of course they do. Anything is better than being a woman. I wish I could escape too” and, logically, i know that’s really unfair because being or passing as a man doesn’t mean your life is automatically easier. Men (and especially trans men) have different struggles that are as real as women’s, but for some reason I can’t get my brain to really believe it. I am jealous because they don’t get catcalled or forced to shave their legs or perfom “feminine rituals” once they transition, and can walk at night safer than if they were a woman, among other things. I don’t think transitioning would be the answer for me, because unfortunately i like this weaker body better ;-; i feel like there’s no solution for me. Sorry for long ask

because of your trigger warning for the trans mods I'm gonna answer this as the only cis person on this blog but of course Wes, Max or Tiger might want to add something from their perspective - and tbh I hope they do because I can, by virtue of beign cis, only speak about this from an outside perspective.

First of all, I might be uneducated here but what exactly does "trans misogyny exempt" mean? To my understanding anyone can be/say/do transmisogynistic things, even trans women themselves can internalise it and direct it at themselves or other trans women. You know, like bi people can also be biphobic. So, forgive me if I'm misunderstanding something here but as far as I know there is no identity that makes someone inherently exempt from transmisogyny?

I've recently learned that "gender envy" is a thing that trans and non-binary people sometimes experience which is when they see someone who presents a certain way and they wish they would also have that gender expression. I'm not sure if I can relate to that experience since being cis I hardly ever even think about my gender consciously. Maybe any trans people reading this could let me know if I understood the concept of "gender envy" correctly. Anyway, maybe that's something that plays a part in what you're feeling.

I assume from your ask that you have been assigned female at birth which makes me think that some of what you're struggling with could also be internalised misogyny. Yes, you're non-binary but that doesn't mean years of living as an afab person have had no impact on you. Especially the part where you're talking about a "weaker" body makes me think that and this strong association of womanhood = performance of gender expectations and being in constant danger of being assaulted.

And then.... I think you have some serious internalised transphobia or enbyphobia. That "jealousy" that you describe is loaded with a lot of assumptions about trans men that I don't think are all holding up. For example saying that trans men "don’t get catcalled or forced to shave their legs or perfom “feminine rituals” once they transition" is a very simplified understanding of transition. It's not like going on T makes a trans man pass as cis over night (if he even wants to pass) and a lot of trans people are actually expected to overperform the gender they transition to which is also pretty fucked up. It's not like trans men aren't also the target of transphobia or unhealthy gender stereotypes, or that a trans man is automatically safe from being assaulted. Corrective rape is a thing and if a transphobe doesn't even think of a trans man as a man then any "privilege" or safety he might have had is gone, worst case it puts him at greater risk of being assaulted (compared to cis men for sure and depending on the situation maybe also compared to cis women).

Furthermore trans men are not "escaping womanhood". That is a very transphobic thing to say and smells of TERF rhetoric (TERFs like to think that trans men are "confused butch lesbians" who are "forced to escape womanhood by patriarchy"). Trans men are men, whether they medically transition or not. And they do not do it to escape womanhood or have it easier to walk down the street at night. They transition because they are men and they want to live their true gender identity.

I don't know what advice to give you here other than that you probably still have a lot of self-reflection to do about your own gender and that you should educate yourself on what it means to be a trans man so you can unlearn those misconceptions about them. And also don't assume that anything about your identity exempts you from holding transphobic misconceptions and beliefs. As sympathetic as I am to anyone who has some such internalised issues, it is your responsibility to work through this - both for yourself and for the trans community. It's gonna take time and effort but I feel like in the end you might also be much more at peace with your own gender identity and be able to more clearly understand what this "jealousy" really is and how to deal with it.

Maddie

[shackermanwrites]

Lifetime

Summary: When everything's falling apart in your life, and you don't know what to do anymore, maybe asking the universe for something isn't a bad idea after all. In which Sol Reader finds herself in another reality after begging the universe for something. Everything is going well not until she was put into Levi's squad.

Chapter 4 -> Chapter 5

Lifetime Masterlist

“Read that carefully, the three of you, and sign it after. It will be an indicator that you understand it.”

You scan the paper as soon as it was handed to you, it is mainly about the jobs assigned, especially to Levi’s Squad. There is no turning back now, that is for sure. You carefully fold the paper in half and put it inside your jacket before returning your gaze to Levi.

‘This must be his office,’ you assume while examining the place carefully. The room is neat and clean, everything is in order considering that it must be hard to manage time by training cadets and giving orders 24/7 but still manage it to keep his office clean.

“Training tomorrow morning, be on time.” Levi looked at you when he said those last words, he did not say it but you know it is an order precisely for you yet your mind is still preoccupied with how clean his office and how he has so many books in his shelf.

‘I wonder what kind of book does he have. The library is far from here to even borrow some books,’ you thought to yourself.

“That’s all of today, the two of you can leave, and you Reader, I need to talk to you.” You turn your head back to Levi when you heard your name. He was arranging some papers while waiting for the two to leave.

Jean and Mikasa gave a salute at Levi before glancing at you to smile. Jean gave you a smile pat on your shoulder before leaving you with the Corporal.

“I am busy, so I'm going to make this quick,” he placed his hand on the table while his eyes are glued in yours. “I don’t tolerate the kind of behavior you were showing earlier. Sol reader, right? Do me a favor and be useful, properly do your job from now on. You top your class, so expect more.”

You are out of words by what the captain had just said.

You felt angry from what he just said to you, he's calling you useless, he's indirectly saying that you're not doing your job correctly. What does he know? You two have met less than an hour ago.

He reminds you of someone that’s for sure, and you don’t like it. You admit that it's your fault for being late, but you know that you're more than that, you’re helpful, and you can benefit this squad.

You rolled your eyes at him when you decided for yourself that you will be the bigger person here and understand him. There's no point in arguing since you just graduated and you don’t exactly know how they run things in the higher-ups.

“I already apologized for that, and I'm sure that it will never happen again.” You softly said while you look into his eyes to show how sincere you are.

There was a short silence after that. It seems that he was thinking of a response to your statement.

“Very well, that is all for tod-“ he was cut off by a loud, aggressive knock on his door that made you flinched. The door was immediately opened, revealing a tall woman with glasses, and she’s holding a lot of papers in her hands.

“What is it that you want four eyes? I thought you were with Moblit?” Levi said while rubbing the bridge of his nose.

You sense that he was annoyed by her presence, but you don’t seem to know why because judging by her looks, she looks friendly.

“Yes, I was with Moblit but not anymore! Also, here are the papers for your- oh hello ther dear, who are you?” She asked you with a smile on her face as she sat in front of Levi's.

‘The same similar cape captain levi wears’ you immediately gave her a salute before answering her.

“Sol Reader, ma'am.”

Her delighted expression slowly turns into a shocked one as she looks at you.

“Well, isn’t Reader! Congratulations on being at the top! I didn’t know shorty here would agree to have you on his squad! I was about to pick you on my squad personally, well I do science and experiments, so it must be boring to you since you are more likely to be physically active! Oh, I'm Hange, by the way, section commander.”

You don’t know how to describe it, but you felt joy about how she casually talks to you, you thought she was just a friendly person, but she was also lovely and kind.

“Well-“ you start as you gave her a smile before glancing at your captain, who was already looking at you the entire time.

“Tch, if you're thinking about changing squad, I suggest do it now.” He started arranging his papers in front of him.

No one in the room noticed it, but Levi was slightly hurt because you look like you're having second thoughts about joining his squad, or maybe he's just in denial that he thought of you regretting your decision to be on his squad.

You smiled at her and glanced at Levi, that is now writing and signing on a bunch of papers.

“Uhm, thank you so much, commander Hange, but I want to be on Levi’s squad. Although I can come to visit you from time to time if you're doing experiments. I can help you with that since I have knowledge about science and medicine.” You gladly replied to her.

“Oh, that’s great! You know I like you already! You can come by my office if you want to talk, not just about science, okay?”

“Might as well have some tea right here while the both of you have a chit-chat in my office.” The annoyed look on his face didn’t stop Hange from bothering him, saying that he should loosen up and stuffs.

You politely excused yourself for them to talk privately and for you to breathe some fresh air from the talk earlier.

-

“Well? What brings you here, Hange? I'm busy.” Levi mumbled while he’s still glued into the paper works he’s carefully reading.

“Oh come on shorty, I just brought the papers you need to sign, and there’s a letter there from Erwin. You have a new squad, so why didn’t you asked your assistant to help you with paperwork?”

Levi didn’t actually need an assistant, yes every higher up can assign an assistant from their squad, but Levi doesn’t consider that he needs one. Still, the paperwork that was was given to him are already enough for him to go crazy, not to mention that more are being added day by day.

“Yeah, I might assign one. I need to check first their handwritings if it's good.” He replied as he continues to sign on the papers.

Hange just smiled softly at him since she knows how hard it is to read and make reports all day.

“Well, I need to go now, do me a favor and rest from time to time, shorty!” hange stood up from the chair and marched her way to the door.

“Yeah fuck off four eyes.” He annoyedly replied.

“Love you too short bean.” Hange yelled before leaving his office.

Levi never really talks to many people, and Hange and Erwin are the only person he considers as his friends. They are the only person who can tolerate his behavior and understood him. He might now show it, but he’s more than thankful for them and the way they annoy him.

-

“Atleast I don’t look like a horse.”

“Fuck you dude, look at yourself in the mirror. You look like horse shit.”

You mentally slap yourself as you listen to the two men on your right and left arguing like little boys.

Jean dragged you to go town to buy some stuff and just to look around but you didn’t expect it to be this chaotic.

Jean and Eren have been friends since the two of you joined the scouts, they are friends, but both of them argue all the time like little kids, and you and Mikasa are like their mothers who would take care of them.

Being in the middle of them doesn’t help at all since both your right and left ears are tired of hearing the same insult for thirty minutes now.

“Will the two of you shut it before I actually lose my mind right now make the two of you marry each other?” you calmly said to them, but the threat in your voice is visible.

“Hah, oh by the way, how did it go with captain Levi? I hope he did not punish you for earlier?” jean asked while the three of you stopped in a stall that sells foods.

“What? Why? What happened?” Eren asked while he points at certain foods at the seller.

“She got in trouble for being late, and she bumped into captain Levi,” Jean replied while offering you his half-bitten bread with cheese that he just bought.

“Yeah, but no worries, nothing happened. I guess he just let it slide at the moment.” You replied before taking a bite on Jean’s bread.

“Woah, you’re lucky Sol, one time I couldn't transform into my titan form and Captain Levi beat the shit out of me. I mean, gotta push something in me right.” Eren said while he pays for the food he bought.

You cant help but to feel bad for Eren, his family is one of the treasured and known family in Paradis since his family holds the attack and founding titan for centuries that has been passed by generations.

The nine titans are initially from Paradis, they are meant to be excluded in this world since their origin is still unknown, but Marley stole the seven titans. Not only that, they used it for their plan, to win wars between different countries. It just happens that the founding and attack titan are still in Paradis. Yet the people in Paradis still don’t know the power it holds even after all those experiments due to the lack of knowledge and things to use.

Eren fighting seven titans is impossible. That is why they are experimenting with him to see if there can be improvements in the future for him to master.

The three of you stroll around the market while buying foods and drinks until you are satisfied. You talked a lot with them about the training and the new squad.

You saw some stalls are already closing since it's almost dawn, but this one stall caught your attention, the paintbrushes and the charcoals and the paints they sell. You didn’t know they sell one here.

“hold on ill be back.” You quickly ran towards the stall to look at the supplies they sell. There are a lot of different varieties but you know you're short of money now.

“Oh do you paint my dear? I have lots here, you can pick before I close the stall.” The old lady smiles at you.

Your hands made their way to a compiled papers, a set of paints, and a paintbrush since you don’t have enough money to afford more.

“Just this please, thank you.” You look at the lady wrapping the things you bought on a piece of paper before handing it to you.

‘Well, there goes my allowance for the week,’ you thought.

-

It was already nighttime when you had the chance to open the materials you bought, you're still unsure if you can still paint or even draw. Heck you don’t even know if you can.

But to know, you at least need to try. Your shaky hands grab the paintbrush and dip it on the paint before aligning it on the paper.

You don’t know what to draw.

“Fuck” you groaned at yourself for not being able to draw, you thought this was pointless, but you still wanna try.

You quickly grab your scarf and wraps it around your neck before collecting your materials to head outside. You thought that maybe being outside can help you paint a picture in your head to bring into life.

Just as you thought, not a single soul can be seen outside since it's cold, and most people are tired.

You quickly sat on a bench you saw and placed the paint right beside you. You looked up to the sky and saw the moon beautifully shining right in front of your eyes, that’s when you noticed the scenery above you, you can't help but admire it.

You grabbed your things and started painting on what your eyes saw just now. You didn’t really care if it is neat or messy since you want to start from scratch.

It's been a while since you have done this.

You always felt happy when you remember that you can paint, you always think of it as a gift since you can bring the things your naked eye can see into a picture. You can even create the things you want to see and want to bring into life.

“Cadet, what are you doing here?” you flinched in shock when you heard a voice from behind you that caused you to overline the moon you're drawing.

Well, there goes your gift of painting.

You angrily looked behind you to see Levi standing inches away from the bench. You noticed that he wears more casual clothes even when training and work hours are already done

“I can't sleep, so I was trying to paint, but now it's ruined, sir..” You replied to him before returning your gaze to your ruined painting.

“It's not my fault that it's ruined.” He deadpanned said before looking up in the sky and glancing at your work.

“I never said that it is your fault.” You replied while collecting your things back.

It was pointless to continue. Besides, you are already feeling tired and it's getting cold.

“Tch, get back to your room now cadet, its already late. We don’t want you showing up late again tomorrow.” He said before turning his back to yours.

You just realized that the bench you're sitting at is located in front of his office.

Maybe he doesn’t hate you at all, maybe it's just because he wants his squad to be more than responsible that’s why he is strict about certain things when it comes to being his squad.

“Thank you, captain, good night.” You softly said loud enough for him to hear it before you went your way to your room.

#captain levi #aot fanfiction #aot #levi aot #aot x y/n #aot x reader #levi ackerman #levi #levi fic #levi fanfiction #levi one shot #hurt comfort #attack on titan #angst #levi ackerman x reader #levi attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin levi #shingeki no kyojin #levi fanfic slow burn #levi slow burn

[aceofthefandoms]

The First Summons

I hope this works @cyraniadebergerac (sorry i didn’t know enough about star wars to write a crossover) @sanderssidesgiftxchange Word Count: 3308 TW: someone getting knocked out, cussing No one was sure when they upgraded from just figments of Thomas’s imagination, something to help him think of the different parts of him, to actual sides.  All they knew is one day they all appeared in the mindpalace. What none of them expected was that Thomas would be able to summon them.

                                                                                                      Logan

Logan was the first to be summoned.  Thomas had been struggling in class.  So, Logan had been working hard to try to help Thomas all he could from the mind palace. 

 What he hadn’t been expecting is part of the way into looking into stuff for helping him, he suddenly felt a strange tug. 

 Before Logan could figure out what was going on, he felt a stronger tug and suddenly...he wasn’t in the mindscape anymore.  

Looking around the room, Logan noticed Thomas hunched over his homework, running his fingers through his hair as he grumbled to himself about how ‘he should have asked someone for help.’  ..Thomas had been struggling over this subject for a while.  

Realizing he needed help in Logan’s specialty was probably why he was summoned. It was clear Thomas hadn’t noticed him yet though.

Well, it probably was better to get this over with anyway.  Logan cleared his throat a bit, causing Thomas to look up at Logan.  And then immediately scoot back in fear. 

...He probably should have taken into account the fact that Thomas would be surprised by his presence.  Well, it was something to keep in mind for next time.

“Who are you? Where did you come from? How did you get into my room?”

“Thomas you need to calm down.”

“How do you know my name?”

“I can’t explain anything to you until you calm down,” Logan tried saying softly.

“Calm down?! You’re a strange kid in my bedroom!”

“Thomas please if you would just listen-”“I’m supposed to listen to a random kid in my room?! No, you need to leave!”

With that Thomas threw a pencil at Logan….which sailed right through him.  Logan looked down in a bit of surprise.  He didn’t know what would happen when something got thrown at him but he wasn’t expecting the item to actually phase through him.

Thomas wasn’t either as he kept glancing between Logan and the pencil before finally speaking up.  

“Are you a ghost?”

“No, I’m not a ghost Thomas.  To put it simply, I’m an aspect of your personality, your Logic to be specific.  You needed help with that assignment so you, I guess summoned me is the best way to describe it.  My best guess is you needed help with some homework or something?”

Thomas glanced back over to his homework that he had been struggling over. 

“....You could say that.”

“Then let me help you and I’ll be out of your hair Thomas.”Thomas hesitated, clearly still questioning everything that was going on but nodded.  

At least it would be better for him to process all of this later.

Logan looked over the problem and quickly helped Thomas before sinking back out to the mindpalace, leaving Thomas to wonder what exactly had happened.

                                                  Patton

By the time Patton had been summoned, most of the sides thought that Logan getting summoned had been a fluke, it had been at least a few months and Thomas hadn’t even summoned any of them.  So it was probably a one-time thing unless it had happened again and Logan just hadn’t told any of them.  

At least, that’s what Patton had thought until Thomas ended up summoning him a few months later.

It had been a normal day for him, Patton was just about to go help Roman with something when he felt a strange tug.  Patton thought nothing of it until it tugged again harder and next thing Patton knew, he was standing in front of Thomas. 

 A Thomas who was sobbing his eyes out curled up in a ball.Before Patton spoke up, he tried to think of why Thomas was crying, thinking back to what could have caused it.  

Unfortunately, nothing was coming up, he knew it happened recently, but Patton had been busy today so he hadn’t been able to keep an eye on Thomas.

 “Kiddo,” Patton asked Thomas softly, trying not to scare him, “Are you okay?”  

Thomas immediately jolted back looking up at Patton. 

 “H-how long have you been standing there?

”“Only a few minutes kiddo, you mind telling me what happened?”

Thomas was about to respond but hesitated.  He wasn’t sure where Patton had come from after all. 

Patton understood his hesitation,as Thomas probably wasn’t sure who he was.  Patton could tell he hadn’t recognized him yet.  Or at least not recognized what he was.

Then again, Patton did look a bit different from Logan so it made sense that Thomas didn’t realize

.It took another few minutes for Thomas to decide to tell him.  

“T-there was this kid.  He overheard my friends and I talking a-and,” Thomas stuttered out sniffling.

“Hey it’s okay kiddo, you can take your time.”

Thomas nodded.  “He overheard us talking about the kind of guys he liked a-and he started making fun of us f-for it.”

“Well did you try telling the teachers kiddo?”

“Why do you keep calling my kiddo, we’re the same a-,” 

Thomas trailed off as he looked up at Patton, seemingly finally realizing the connection.  

“That wasn’t a dream?”

“‘Fraid not kiddo, Logic told us all about getting to meet you though.”

“There’s...more of you?”

Patton nodded again.“Well...if the last one was Logic, what are you?”

“I’m your Morality kiddo! It’s nice to meet you.  Now I think you should go talk to a teacher or something,even though it might technically be ‘snitching’ or whatever the cool kids call it.”

Thomas groaned at Patton, mainly because of the whole ‘cool kids’ thing versus anything else.  

“I suppose you’re right.”

Patton smiled and nodded, making sure Thomas was okay before sinking back to the mindpalace.

                                              Roman

With both Patton and Logan being summoned, it was only a matter of time before he was summoned….even if it did take a bit longer for him.  

If Roman remembered correctly, he himself had been in the middle of a project...admittedly not the one that Thomas was supposed to be working on but sometimes what you’re supposed to be working on and what you actually want to work on don’t line up.

It was in the middle of working on said project when Roman felt the tug.

  Originally he wanted to ignore it, thinking it was one of the others, before realizing it felt different from the other sides summoning him.It was upon realizing it felt different that Roman remembered what both Logan and Patton had said about Thomas summoning them.  About how it had been all of a sudden and felt...a bit different from a side summoning them.

So Roman decided to put his work down and listen to the summon, after all if it was Thomas summoning him, he just couldn’t ignore them. 

Upon rising up, Roman noticed Thomas was leaning over the assignment that he should have been working on but hadn’t been able to.

 ...Oops.

Thomas seemed to notice Roman before he said anything, Roman guessed he did have that sort of aura around him.“..You’re...another one of them aren’t you?

”As insulted as Roman wanted to be for being called ‘them’, he did at least understand that this had to be strange for Thomas, having random people saying they were part of him show up….at least that’s what Logan kept telling them.

“That I am,” Roman said, bowing slightly, “I am Prince Creativity.” 

Thomas nodded slightly, still seemingly processing.  

“How many of you do I have,” Thomas grumbled.Roman’s mind immediately flashed to Them.

  Thomas didn’t need to know about Them yet. 

 Logan was normally better at evading questions, but Roman would have to do his best.  He’d do anything to keep Thomas safe from Them.

“It’s probably better to focus on why I was summoned instead,” Roman said, “That way I’ll be able to help you.”

After a few seconds of hesitation, long enough that Roman was slightly worried that Thomas hadn’t accepted his attempt at diversion, Thomas nodded.

“I’ve gotten a bit of writer’s block on this English assignment, we’re supposed to be writing a myth for English class but I can’t think of anything.”

Roman winced slightly, remembering the assignment.  He really had tried to work on it but all the other ideas had just seemed so much more interesting then working on myths, even if myths were interesting.

“Sorry about that, I hit a bit of writer’s block when trying to work on that,” Roman admitted, “But maybe we can work on it together?

”“Uh..I guess that could work,” Thomas said, clearly still a bit hesitant.

“Hey I’m sure we can figure something out with the two of us,” Roman said with a grin.

“Alright, then let’s get to work Princey,” 

Thomas said, rolling his eyes, ignoring the offended noises coming from Roman.

                                            Virgil

It wasn’t fair. 

 Just because the dumb lights got summoned they were acting like they were so much better than the rest of them.  

Virgil was so close to fighting them because they were all acting all high and mighty and it was just so fucking annoying.

The number of times that he had almost gotten in a fight with one of them since this whole thing started wasn’t zero.  And if they didn’t stop with all this high and mighty bullshit, it might not just be almost anymore.

At least that’s what Virgil thought before he was summoned himself. 

 In Thomas’ defense, Virgil was pretty sure he hadn’t meant to summon him.  

All Virgil knew is that one minute he was chilling in his room, away from the others for a bit, when suddenly he felt a strange tug.

Now as the lights didn’t want Thomas to know about the others, they didn’t know what summoning felt like.  

So imagine Virgil’s surprise when one second he feels the tug and next thing he knows he’s in front of Thomas who was seemingly working over a presentation of some kind.

  Him being nervous about that was probably what had summoned Virgil.

Surprisingly, Thomas noticed Virgil before he said anything.

“Oh, the others never said there was more of you.”

All Virgil could feel at that moment was seething anger. 

 Because of course the lights had done everything they could to hide their existence and Virgil.  

Of course they had refused to even hint at their existence.  

Of course they had been summoned time and time again and bragged about, but refused to let Thomas know about him and the others.He wasn’t going to let that stand. 

“Of course those assholes didn’t say anything about me, they wanted to keep you in lala land, making you think everyone of us in that head of yours was all sunshine and rainbows,” Virgil growled,

 “Trying to hide everyone else.”

Thomas seemed to back up a bit at that.  It was clear he had been blindly trusting the lights, not thinking they were hiding anything from him.

Virgil scoffed at Thomas.  

“Well I hate to break it to you, but everything's not bright, sunny, and inherently good in that head of yours.  Despite what they want you to think.”

“Who exactly are you,” Thomas asked. 

 Virgil noticed his voice was shaking slightly and tried to hide the slight pain he felt in his chest. 

 No he needed to do this. 

 He needed to prove a point.

“I’m that little voice in your head that tells you everything you’re doing wrong, everything you’ve messed up on, how you’re nothing but a failure,” Virgil said with a smirk, again trying to avoid the sinking feeling in his chest from basically threatening Thomas. 

 “I’m your Anxiety, and trust me when I say you’re not going to get rid of me anytime soon.”

 Virgil did notice as both Thomas’ along with his own anxiety started to rise. 

 Virgil just smirked and kept the act up until Patton figured out what was going on and shooed him away.

  Virgil shot Patton a glare before sinking back to the dark sides.

                                           Janus

Janus knew Thomas didn’t know he was summoning him when it happened. 

 He knew what was going on that led to his summoning, Thomas forgetting about Joan’s performance and worrying how mad they were going to be at him.

So of course, Thomas was entertaining the idea of lying, and ended up summoning Janus.

Janus knew he couldn’t show up as himself.  

Thomas may not have known who he was, but that didn’t mean the others were as oblivious. 

Heck Virgil would probably chase him out the first chance he got, so instead Janus decided to...disguise himself.

Patton was currently busy with...who knows what, and it was the perfect opportunity to show up in his place.  

Of course he wasn’t going to do anything to Patton.  He may be a bit upset at the lights, but that didn’t mean he would hurt any of them just to get his way.

So as Janus felt the tug, the tug that Virgil had described back when he was still with them ,he quickly shape-shifted into Patton before showing up.  

He had to hurry so he might have gotten some details wrong, but it should have been good enough to fool Thomas. As Thomas looked towards him and didn’t hesitate, Janus could breathe a sigh of relief.  

He didn’t recognize him, so he could probably get through this.

At least, he was able to get through it until Virgil recognized him.  

So of course, Janus took the chance to play the villain before leaving back to the dark side.

It was only expected that Virgil would be making an appearance later that night.

“What the fuck was that,” he asked as he entered.

“Hello to you too Virgil,” Janus said dryly, “Why won’t you come in?” 

Virgil took a breath and sighed. 

“Sorry you’re right,” he grumbled, “Hi Dee, now why did you show up today?”

“I definitely know why you’re asking me this Virgil.”

“Maybe our deal? How you said that you and the others would stay away if I tried to get Thomas to listen to us all more?”

“Simple, I clearly planned to come,” Janus replied, seeming to shock Virgil a bit.

“What do you mean?”

“I wasn’t summoned by Thomas. Definitely on purpose considering he did immediately start freaking out when I showed up.  Even disguised as Patton he wouldn't have known if I was summoned on purpose.”

“Wait but that means-”

“Thomas didn’t want to lie to Joan today.  At least he didn’t want to lie enough to summon me.  His choice was his but that does mean I didn’t try to nudge him in my direction.”

Virgil went silent at that, seemingly processing the information.  “...Thanks for letting me know,” he said after a period of silence and leaving.Janus nodded a bit, kind of glad Virgil was leaving.

  He now had plans to adjust after all.

                                           Remus

If there was one thing that Remus didn’t expect from Tomalongadingdong, it was to be summoned. 

 After all, if his reaction to Janny had anything to say about it, Thommy-Salami wouldn’t want anything to do with him.

Buuut then again, a degrading mental health can change a lot of plans.  

He knew that he wasn’t supposed to be summoned, however that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to make some fun out of it.

After all while Tommy did control when they popped up, he didn’t really control how. 

 It’s how come both Janny and Virgey could get away with just kind of appearing out of nowhere.But Remus was most certainly going to take this chance to make his entrance a bit more interesting.

First he used his power so Thomas could barely hear the others.  

Quite easy to do with how little sleep he had gotten and how he was one step away from dissociating.  Which Remus would most certainly take full credit for. 

 He knew that it was because of his nice little thoughts last night, and couldn’t help but grin a bit.  

Sure, part of it was because Virgie and Daddy wouldn’t leave Tommy-salami alone, but it was also him!

 Wait he was getting himself distracted again, he still needed to introduce himself to Thomas.  

He grinned for a second before speaking directly into Thomas’ mind. 

“Have you ever imagined killing your brother?

He noticed Thomas still looked a little dazed so took the chance as he popped up, slowly appearing behind the TV. 

 He couldn’t help but smirk when both Daddy and Virgey noticed him and freaked out a bit.  

Unfortunately he couldn’t relish in it, as Roro hadn’t noticed him yet and he was not going to let this opportunity escape him.  

He quickly summoned his morning star and raised it over his head before slamming it down on Roman’s head, knocking him out.

Virgey and Daddy freaked out a bit, Daddy’s being more obvious with his scream versus Virgey’s wince.

“Boo,” Remus responded with a giant grin.

“Ah..it’s the Duke,” Spreadsheet said, already rubbing his head a bit, which only caused Remus to smirk more.

From there, Remus spent as much time as possible just messing with the others.

He could tell they didn’t like him very much,Daddy repeatedly being freaked out and Virgey’s Tempest Tongue, which he had other names for but got a look whenever he called it by those names, coming out the second that he was noticed. 

But that wasn’t important at the moment, what was important, is that Thomas now knew about him and had actually summoned him, not that Thomas would know that was a summoning. 

And he planned to rub it in Roman’s face the moment he woke up.

~~

And soon enough, all of them were known….even if it took over a decade for that to be possible.  Only time will tell how this could affect Thomas, or what will develop because of it. 

#sandersidesholidayxchange2020 #logan sanders #thomas sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #pre aa virgil #can lying be good #ts dwit #sanders side fic #sanders sides gift

[drreporting]

Infections of A Different Kind of Human

3. ALL IS SOFT INSIDE

“And how long has she been like this?”

“Going on 18 hours now,” Owen explained. Ryan looked at Amelia, unconscious and tubed, with a variety of wires and lines running to her. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair, which he’d recently cut pretty short, so it didn’t do much to quell his anxiety. He couldn’t understand why Amelia had left his name on her medical forms.

“Do you have any idea why she would’ve still had you as her proxy?” Owen inquired, twiddling with the hospital band around his wrist. “I thought she would’ve updated it or something, especially after James…”

“If I remember Amelia correctly, she gambles,” Ryan accurately described, “Perhaps she gambled on your marriage working out.” How could she be so reckless? “I have no problem transferring the proxy to you, if that’s what you want,” he appreciatively offered, adding a joke after, “From one divorcee to the other.” He couldn’t take on the pressure of making life or death choices for her, and Owen would likely know all the medical jargon better than he would’ve, so it made sense to transfer it to him.

“I’m not entirely sure if I should take it,” Owen sombrely replied. When Ryan looked at him with a confused expression, he said, “We weren’t exactly in a good place when…”

“So?”

“I literally caught her cheating on me, I don’t think she’d want me making medical decisions on her behalf,” Owen put it bluntly.

“That’s pretty harsh, don’t you think?” Ryan queried, folding his arms, “Isn’t this supposed to be the love of your life, or something?”

“Yeah, but I am clearly not the love of her life anymore, so I don’t think I should be making those decisions,” Owen clarified, sternly. They were not on the best of terms when the accident had occurred and adding the consent of her medical health to that would only make things worse if she eventually woke up. “Give it to Derek, or Meredith. I think that’s best.”

“I think I’ll keep it, actually,” Ryan pondered, eyeing the trauma surgeon as he unfolded his arms, “She can decide what she wants, once she’s awake.”

Owen sighed, submitting. “Sure, why not.”

“How are the kids?” he asked, changing the subject, “How’s R junior doing?”

“He is pretty shaken up,” the red head confessed, “Rosie is…I don’t know. And the twins are pretty young, sounds think they’re coping alright. They don’t like sudden, loud noises much anymore.”

“Yeah, I could imagine,” Ryan sympathized. He walked over to Owen and patted him on his good shoulder before saying, “I’m gonna go talk to him before I leave, if that’s okay.” Without looking at him, Owen nodded, keeping his eyes on Amelia’s small frame, willing her to wake up.

The next day made it two days since Amelia had been shot, and a little over 36 hours since her surgery had been done. As per usual, there was an entourage in Amelia’s room, consisting of Derek, Meredith, Maggie, Ryan, Owen, and more recently, Tom. He’d offered to stay for the while to maintain her condition, and then hopefully query about the patient Amelia had been speaking of to him, the entire reason for his visit. They lazed about the room for most of the day, offering support to each other, and to Owen, as they patiently awaited Amelia’s outcome.

---

Sometime in the evening, they’d all received overhead pages from a nurse, all calling them to Amelia’s room.

“Tom?” Owen rasped as he all but slid into the patient room, Ryan following closely behind, “What’s going on?”

“She’s waking up,” Tom voiced calmly. He’d already called the nurse and began adjusting her pumps for the medications she was being administered when he began hearing a soft cough coming from her.

“Yes, she’s definitely waking up…”

“Well, is she going to open her eyes?”

“If you’re patient enough, Dr. Hunt…”

Amelia opened her eyes to a crowd of people standing over her. She only recognised two of them in the room and they looked…odd?

“Amelia, can you hear us?” Tom asked, shining his penlight in her eyes. Why wouldn’t she be able to hear them? What was Tom doing here?

“Can you try talking?” he asked further, offering her a cup of water with a straw in it. Amelia took the cup and had a small sip, clearing her throat as she figured out what she wanted to say first.

“Where…where am I?” she whispered hoarsely.

“You’re at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, in Seattle,” the Hopkins neurosurgeon expertly answered, a look of concern crossing his face for a flash of a second, “Do you remember any of what happened two days ago?” Two days ago? Amelia shook her head. She looked over at Derek, then at a blonde standing next to him, holding his hand. She figured that was probably the Meredith that Addison had been speaking about. Next to her stood another blonde, more strawberry in colour. His face reeked with fear and stress, and Amelia wondered what would’ve caused him to look so horrified.

“You were in an accident a couple days ago,” Tom explained, “You were wounded, but everything’s okay now; surgery was successful.” She nodded, showing that she understood what he was saying. Looking around the room once more, she observed the faces of the people at her bedside.

“What’s the last thing you remember, Amy?” Derek offered softly, trying to coax her back from wherever in her mind she was right now.

Amelia blankly looked at him before looking away and shrugging. “I wasn’t in Seattle.”

“Do you remember me?” Ryan piped up, garnering the attention of everyone in the room for a moment. She looked at him, at his jet-black hair and icy blue eyes, his loosely fitted plaid shirt and washed-out jeans, and his soft, welcoming smile.

Shaking her head, Amelia responded, “No, but you’re very cute otherwise.” Ryan quirked an eyebrow at her, not expecting a flirtatious reply, while Owen scoffed and averted his eyes as he rolled them.

“Amelia, we met over ten years ago,” Ryan vaguely replied, trying to help her remember, “In LA?”

Amelia raised her eyebrows in shock as though she remembered something, taking another sip of her water. Ryan looked hopefully at her as she continued, “I was in LA.”

He sighed, combing his fingers through his hair. “So, then you don’t remember me…” Amelia furrowed her eyebrows, slightly annoyed that he was asking her the same question again. Why did he want her to remember something about him? “We met at a party?” Ryan explained to her.

“I’ve met a lot of men at parties,” she bluntly replied, “Excuse me if I don’t remember you exactly.”

Owen’s eyes widened. “Wait what-,”

“Okay, let’s give our patient some time to gather her thoughts; she’s only just woken up,” Tom voiced, trying to temporarily brush everything under the rug, “In the meantime, I’m going to need to see her most recent CT scans, and perhaps we can get some new ones?”

“They’re all on the tablet,” Derek explained, pointing at the device that was in Tom’s hand.

“No they’re not,” he  replied, “I imagine I’d have to access them physically in your dinosaur hospital?”

“They’re supposed to be available on the iPad.” Derek took the device from him and began scanning through his sister’s patient chart, only to find out that Tom was right. There was no file, nor record, of any brain scans done on her.

With smoke metaphorically piping through his ears, Derek stepped outside and went straight to the front desk, seeing Isaac there. His eye was still shining purple from Owen’s elbow to his face, and he had to admit that he was kind of glad now that Owen had done it. While Tom was still making his way over, the Shepherd asked, “Where are Amelia’s CT scans?”

Isaac looked up at him and furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t know, they’re supposed to be on the system. I sent an intern to request the scans once she was out of surgery.”

“Wow you must really hate Shepherd to have done that,” Koracick chimed in as he arrived at the desk, “What did she do to you?”

“What? She didn’t do anything to me…”

“You secretly in love with her or something? Did she break your heart?” he further provoked the attending neurosurgeon, making him stand up angrily to defend his actions, “She the one who gave you the black eye?"

“No, it was me,” Owen intervened, making his presence known. Looking to Isaac, he added, “And if there’s something wrong with her brain, you’ll have more than that to worry about.”

“I’m sorry, was that a threat, Dr. Hunt?” Isaac challenged, staring him in his eye. “Perhaps I should report you to HR?”

“And maybe I should report you to the board for negligence concerning a missing CT scan on one of your patients who exhibited neurological symptoms,” he retorted. If Owen could only get his hand out of this sling and hit him, he would. Tom watched the lesser neurosurgeon with a satisfying smirk, while Derek glared at him. To say Amelia had an army, was an understatement.

Isaac wanted to respond, but he knew he was in the wrong and had possibly jeopardised the brain function of his boss by assigning an intern to do his job, so he relented. “I’ll call up CT and get it done right away.”

“Perhaps I should take over head of neuro here,” Tom teased as Isaac walked away, knowing he could be heard, “Looks like this place might fall apart without Shepherd.”

---

When Amelia awoke, she was in a patient room, lying down in bed. Owen’s head laying against the side of the bed, and she would’ve thought he was asleep if it wasn’t for his soft snoring. Weak and in pain, she was barely able to stretch her fingers to poke his head, but he felt the action and his face instantly popped up to look at her. “You’re okay,” he sighed in relief, taking her hand as he let more tears fall, fresher than the ones that fell earlier.

“What happened?” she whispered hoarsely, letting him take her hand in his two larger ones.

“You collapsed during surgery,” he explained, not sure how to explain the rest of the story, “You…Robbins said you were having an ectopic pregnancy. 8 weeks.” Amelia closed her eyes as the tears began to fall. “There was blood leaking from your fallopian tube when she went in…” The words coming out of his mouth slowly faded into the background as she absorbed the information. She couldn’t help but feel like she’d spited herself by their earlier conversation about having an abortion, as illogical as it sounded.

“…there was nothing that she could’ve done,” Owen finished, waiting for her response.

“So, I had a miscarriage,” she repeated, to which he nodded. Amelia averted her gaze and looked out the window, unsure of how to process the information, if she could.

“Are you okay?” he asked, not expecting her silence. He expected an outcry, tears, emotions all over, but there was just silence; Amelia seemed unfazed, numb. “I mean, I know you’re not okay, but…”

“I’m okay,” she said unsurely. Truthfully, she didn’t know if she was really okay, or if the emotions were just waiting to burst out of her at some untimely point in the future. It was hard to tell when all she could think of was how stupid it was that she was actually anxious earlier about how to go about raising a fifth child. Now she felt numb, the kind of numbness that came from touching ice for too long. The type of numbness that stung you after a while, and made your hand cramp.

“Is there anything you need?” he further asked, trying to determine what she might want right now, “Should I bring in the kids?”

“No, don’t bring them,” she responded, pulling her hand out of his grasp, “Can you…can I be alone?” Alone? Amelia never liked being alone with her thoughts, Owen knew this.

“Okay…are you sure?” he sought to confirm, a little disappointed that she couldn’t seem to make eye contact with him, “We don’t have to talk or anything, I could just stay here quietly?”

“Alone is fine, thanks,” she coldly answered him, still not looking in his direction. Sighing, Owen stood and left, looking back once at her small figure, still in bed, facing away from him. After that, Amelia had slowly, but surely, begun to shut him out. To the point where he no longer knew if she even had feelings.

---

“How long do I have to stay in this thing?” Amelia complained. They were in the CT room now, with Owen, Derek and Tom on the other side of the glass, awaiting her results.

Pressing a finger on the mic, Tom responded, “If you stay still and stop talking, we could be finished in less time.”

“What are you even doing here in Seattle?” she further complained as the nurse injected the dye, “Did you lose your job at Hopkins?”

“Far from it,” Koracick replied, “You called me on a consult for a patient, but you never told me who the patient was.” He turned off the mic and looked to Owen and Derek, adding, “Did she ever tell you she had a crush on me back in the day?” Derek rolled his eyes while Owen furrowed his brows in confusion; he really didn’t like this guy.

“Just do the scan,” Derek insisted, a disgusted look on his face. Tom chuckled, enjoying the discomfort he was causing amidst Amelia’s colleagues.

“Okay, scans are coming up now, stay still,” he said into the mic once more. The three doctors watched in anticipation as the scans slowly presented, one by one. As the scans showed their final forms, Derek and Tom furrowed their eyebrows in confusion, leaning in closer to assess them.

“Is that…?” Derek began, unable to say the words aloud.

“What? What’s wrong?” Owen asked, scooting closer to look at the screen, “Oh…”

“That is a…” Tom started, for once at a loss for words, “…big tumour.” He looked up at Amelia through the glass, just as she came out of the CT machine.

“So what’s wrong with my brain?” the Shepherd naively asked, noticing their horrified looks, “Do I have a slow leak bleed or something?”

“No, but you definitely have something…” Tom vaguely replied, giving the scans another once over.

—-

“So these are brain scans from over ten years ago,” Tom explained, handing Amelia the tablet to show her the images, “They were done while you were in LA, as part of your hiring process at a private practice.”

She looked at the scans. “I don’t remember this scan.”

“Yes, I know,” the neurosurgeon humoured her. He swiped the images to the left, landing on her most recent scan. “These are the scans that we took just now.” Amelia looked at the scans in front of her with a look on her face that was hard to read.

Looking up at Tom, and the rest of the doctors in the room, she sought to confirm, “I have a brain tumour?”

“You do, a grade one meningioma,” Derek confirmed, “It would explain why you called Tom. Actually, it explains a lot of things you’ve done over the past five months.” Meredith held Derek’s hand, hoping to offer up some sort of comfort as they displayed the truth for her. Truthfully, a massive brain tumour was the last thing Meredith had thought of when wondering why Amelia was so erratically crazy.

“How long has it been there?” she queried in a small voice, looking back at the scans.

“Likely around ten years or so,” Tom estimated, “You would’ve begun showing signs from a year to two years ago. Pregnancy would also speed up the growth process, so it’s hard to determine how long you’ve had it for, or when exactly you would’ve begun to show symptoms.” Looking to Owen and Derek, Tom asked, “Has she been pregnant over the last five years?” Both surgeons nodded.

“Wait a minute,” Amelia stopped them, “I was pregnant? How many times?” Pressing a hand to her chest, she added, “Oh my god, do I have kids?”

“Five times,” Owen relayed quietly, anticipating a negative reaction. He looked to Ryan, who seemed just as uncomfortable as he did, divulging this information.

“Who’s the father?” she asked slowly, looking suspiciously between Ryan and Owen.

“Me,” was the response that came out of both their mouths.

Opening her eyes even wider, the youngest Shepherd pursed her lips, saying, “Two baby daddies sounds like something that would happen to me.” Both men blushed, averting their eyes as they fiddled with the clothing they wore. “So, which one of you am I still screwing?”

“Amy!” Derek berated her.

“I don’t even like kids.”

“Looks like someone lost their filter again,” Meredith murmured coyly, receiving an eye roll from Derek.

“I am…well I was…” Owen tried to begin to explain their relationship, “We were married. We no longer are. We were together, but I don’t think we were around the time that your accident…”

“So, I am a single mother with four children and two baby daddies,” she begun, trying to make sense of the complicated situation, “And…is there an affair I should be aware of as well? Because that sounds like something I’d do.”

“Is this the tumour talking?” Ryan sought to confirm from Derek.

“I’m not even sure anymore,” Derek sighed.

“This doesn’t explain the memory loss, though,” Amelia accurately pointed out.

“Yes, that’s the only problem,” Tom agreed with her, “The seizure you suffered after your injury would’ve likely had a part to play, but we aren’t seeing anything on your scans. Now, there is a possibility that the tumour is masking it, but we won’t know until we do more testing. The other, faster option, of figuring out what’s going on in there, is surgery.”

“And when can we do surgery?”

“Amy, one step at a time,” Derek condescended his little sister.

“Says the Shepherd without a massive tumour in their head,” she sarcastically retorted, glaring at Derek.

“You need to heal and regain your strength before you can qualify to do this surgery. It is a fairly large tumour, after all; even if it’s not cancerous.”

“Let’s reassess in four weeks,” Tom suggested, taking the tablet from her, “That’ll give you time to heal from your abdominal wounds, and hopefully you’ll be able to regain some of your memories, give us a better idea of how your brain is working and healing.”

Amelia nodded. “And what do I do in the meantime? What if I don’t remember?”

“Heal, get back into your routine,” Tom offered as he slowly exited the room, “Maybe learn to like kids?”

At the mention of the word kids, Amelia gulped. “Okay…” She looked to Owen and Ryan, asking, “When should I…?”

“Maybe we should wait a little longer?” Owen offered unsurely.

“Owen, they miss her,” Ryan defended, “especially Ryan. Let them see her for a bit.”

“I don’t know much about kids, but I’m pretty sure they’d be dying to see their mom,” Amelia offered intuitively, “So…why not?” Ryan and Owen exchanged confusing looks. “What, are they gonna hate me or something?”

“Well,” Ryan was the first to speak up, “the Amelia I remember, isn’t very good with kids…”

“And I think one of them may have a bit of an affliction with your decisions,” Owen offered vaguely.

“So is that a no?” Owen and Ryan exchanged an unsteady gaze..

—-

“Are you sure that’s what you saw?”

Rosie nodded her head. “She was there with Dr. Isaac.”

“But why would she do something like that?” Ryan exclaimed, betrayed and confused by his mother’s finnicky behaviour. Rosie shrugged, hugging her arms around her shoulder as she looked around the conference room. She was having a hard time feeling compassion or guilt for her mother’s condition, after having seen her betray her father. Yet she couldn’t figure out why she jumped into action to help save her life. She felt conflicted, and numb.

“What are we gonna do if they break up for real this time?” Rosie asked her older brother. She and Ryan were far too familiar with the back and forth that appeared to always be going on between their parents. It left a consistent feeling of anxiety in the air for both of them.

“We stick together,” Ryan assured her, putting his arm around her shoulder.

“Okay guys, are you ready?” Owen asked as he came into the waiting room to collect them and take them to Amelia. Both kids shrugged, not entirely sure how they were supposed to be feeling right now. Ryan felt emotionally exhausted, while Rosie felt emotionally numb. Realistically, neither kid wanted to deal with anything right now. Rosie just wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed. And Ryan, well oddly enough there was a book he was hoping to get home and finish before all this had happened.

Stooping to their level, the father asked, “What’s going on? I thought you guys would be more excited to see your mom?”

“I am,” Ryan defended lamely, looking down at his lap. No one could ever doubt that Ryan loved his mother with all his heart. “I’m just…”

“We’re just tired, daddy,” Rosie cut in, saving the day with what she would soon learn was called a half truth, “Can we go home?”

Owen frowned, not believing the response, but going along with it. “Okay, yeah. Yeah, we can do that.” He stood up and held his hand out for Rosie, and Ryan jumped off the couch to follow them.

While Owen took the kids home, Ryan sat in the patient room, keeping Amelia company until the trauma surgeon returned. Although a bit odd, it was funny and sentimental talking to the Amelia that he had initially fallen in love with all those years ago.

Taking her hand in his, he asked, “How have you been feeling?”

“I feel like I have really bad food poisoning,” she joked, making him chuckle, “And my head is spinning with all this information.” Ryan nodded sympathetically, imagining how confusing it could be to wake up in the middle of your life and not know anything. “Where is the Owen guy? I thought he was bringing the kids.”

“Oh, he ended up taking them home,” Ryan summarized carefully, “They were pretty tired, and they’ve already missed three days of school, so you know.”

“Oh,” Amelia hummed, looking around her patient room. Mumbling softly, she insightfully stated, “Why do I get the feeling that no one is really fond of me right now?” Ryan opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure of if or how to answer her question.

“It’s a complicated situation, Amelia…”

“Feels more like everyone thinks I’m a bitch,” she retorted, looking outside her patient doors at the personnel on her floor. “I don’t blame them; I probably was a bitch.”

“They’re still dealing with the whole situation,” he explained, squeezing her hand, “A lot happened before you got injured. There were a lot of feelings in the air.” Just then, Owen finally reappeared, seeing the two talking and holding hands and choosing to wait by the nurses’ desk outside her room. Standing up and letting her hand go, Ryan added, “There’s still a lot of feelings in the air. Don’t be too harsh on him.” He patted the back of her hand before exiting the room and going to the desk to speak to Owen. “She’s all yours.”

“Hey, what’s your deal?” Owen accused him in an edgy voice. His eyes were a bit red, and he looked pretty agitated and tired, but Ryan chose to entertain his erratic behaviour still.

“What do you mean?”

“Suddenly, you’re just choosing to stay here and take care of her?” the trauma surgeon assumed, putting his hands on his hips as he tried to tower over Ryan and appear bigger. “I bet you’re real glad she doesn’t remember anything, huh? Now you two can start over…”

“Owen, you’re being unnecessarily weird,” Ryan cut him off, “Amelia is the mother of my son, I just want to make sure that she makes a full recovery.” He was being illogically aggressive, and Ryan knew it was likely because of all that had happened in the last few days, so he tried to be understanding. “I’m not jumping back in the race or anything. I’m just making sure she’s comfortable.”

“By flirting with her?”

“Hunt, I am not the enemy here.”

“Ha, where have I heard that before,” he dismissed him, ready to add to his statement before his phone rang. “This is Dr. Hunt.” Listening to the man on the other line, his anger began to escalate. “I’m on my way.”

“Hey, where are you going?” Ryan called as the trauma surgeon stormed down the hall. Owen ignored his question, making him decide to follow him out of the hospital.

“Owen!” Ryan yelled, following him to the parking lot. When he got close enough, he grabbed him by his shoulder. “Hey-,”

“What?” the surgeon asked through gritted teeth, spinning around to glare at him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the station,” he replied, “They found Amelia’s car, and the person who stole it.”

“And what are you planning to do when you get there?” Ryan accused, knowing Owen wasn’t thinking straight right now.

“Look, either you come with me or you don’t,” Owen said, pulling his car keys out of his wallet with his good hand, “But I’m going.” Sighing, Ryan combed his fingers through his hair as he weighed his options, realising the only one was to go with him. Amelia wouldn’t forgive him if he allowed Owen to do something ill-advised. The question now was, would he be able to stop him?

#omelia #owen hunt #amelia shepherd #ryan shepherd #ryan kerrigan #rosie shepherd-hunt #au #infections of a different kind of human #derek shepherd #meredith grey #tom koracick

[atxlxs]

Beyond The Veil: Chapter 5

The assessment test was pretty consistent.

Those that had the quirks suited for it at first glance had dominated while the rest all seemed to get variations of the same base score. Some slightly better, some slightly worse. This made it pretty easy for Muska to just, consistently get good scores.

When your quirk, *cough* and other things *cough*, essentially affects anything and everything as long as the energy itself isn’t being used by something else it becomes easy to just enhance everything.

Ball throw? More like sniper propulsion. Long jump? Ha, more like flying to the opposite side. Grip strength? She doesn’t even need to touch it. Just contract the energy surrounding the mechanism. Flexibility? She used to do ballet, like, a century ago but muscle memory counts.

She had some tests she couldn’t do well, like the endurance test. She was here to train her quirk after all. Plus the longer the tests went on the harder it was to continue. If she continued at the level she was doing, she’d have one hell of a headache. It was starting to hurt as well. Every time she tried to go over her limits, using the energy actually hurt so she’d rather avoid that.

By the end of it all, Muska had placed a solid 3rd place. Beating out Robocop and PomPom (Bakugo), looking down the list with curiosity, Muska cringed at Midoriya taking last place. The kid definitely couldn’t regulate the energy belonging to his quirk, which felt really weird whenever Muska looked into it, and had broken his finger on the ball throw. However, what she didn’t expect was the feeling of mirth coming off of Aizawa.

Wait a damn minute.

The fucker wouldn’t.

“It was a logical ruse to make you all perform at your best capabilities.”

The fucker did.

Now, even as the class started shouting once more that evening, Muska was highly focused on the man in front of her. That was a lie. He lied about it being a ruse. The energy had fluctuated just slightly when he said ruse, going from mirth to a hazy feeling. The indescribable experience one goes through when they white lie or bluff.

He was going to expel the person who came in last. Something changed that though. What the fu- Oh. Ooooh.

“...If you won’t take this seriously as the hero in training students you are…”

The bastard was judging our potential and disguised it as an assessment!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rat-man hadn’t given Muska a map, either expecting her to ask someone to help or look at the map and guess. She would do neither. Asking for help would warn them beforehand and she might be waved off considering it was a staff meeting. Secondly, she just doesn’t want to.

Instead of her quirk, Muska closed her eyes and felt around the harmony. Surprisingly, the school was ‘clean’ for the most part. A few dark patches here and there but nothing horrendous. That was when she noticed it. A room towards the top of the fourth tower, left side in the back away from the gate, was filled with several aged energies. One of which seemed to be escaping slowly towards something else. That was weird, but definitely where she needed to be.

It took 10 minutes of dedication to get to the tower needed, and 10 more to not stab the principal on sight after she got up the stairs and walked over to a steel door that had a key code. Disregarding the key code box since she definitely didn’t know said code, she decided that knocking in the tune to “Crab Rave” was a good alternative.

The door opened before the first verse was done to a very confused woman in spandex. Giving her a smile, it definitely had an annoyed flair to it since she could be at home and forcing Eras to be cooking right now, Muska slipped past her and into the meeting room. The Rat-man stood on the large table, surrounded by pro hero’s (based on the flashy getups…. Is that a horse gas mask?) and seemed to be in the middle of something. A beat of silence followed as Muska walked over to an empty chair near the front, it looked to be Nedzu’s but the short rat-man didn’t need it, and sat down. Pulling out her phone and starting to scroll through Tiktok. It was an old app but it stayed strong through the years and was still running.

“Uh, whatsa youngin like ya doin here?” Horse gas mask man asked. The heroes all subtly nodded along, too shocked by her nonchalant actions about crashing a very obvious faculty meeting.

Muska’a face twisted into a small frown as she turned her attention up to see the man. Aizawa, who she just now noticed was sitting at the back corner of the table, was just glaring down at Nedzu. Smart move and he was right.

“First of all, don’t call me youngin, I can guarantee I'm older than you. Second of all, ask Remy the rat here for that info.” Muska stated, about to return to her phone before perking up again and continued, “Also rat-man, if you want answered questions they better be done before 5, I have pasta being cooked by a glorified 5 star chef waiting at home.”

Several heroes choked, Aizawa hid a snort into his scarf, at her words. Nedzu, the fiend, just smiled wider.

“Of course!” The chimera chirped.

Yes chirped, maybe he had some bird DNA mixed in?

“I wouldn’t want to keep you too long! Faculty, this is Viridis Muska, Viridis, these are the pro heroes on staff that I trust to keep their mouths shut under oath of an NDA! Your guardian was kind enough to email it over to me this afternoon.”

Muska snorted at that. “Yea sounds like her.” Placing her phone face up on the table next to her, she tapped on the table expectantly as the Rat took his sign to continue.

“The most obvious question should probably be first and I know my dear staff are confused, what did you mean by you being older?”

It was an innocent question, she’ll answer it.

“Why Remy, that's cause unless Humanity has managed to surpass their expected due date of at max 120 years, then I am very much so older.”

The room was filled with confusion. It radiated off them in waves as distress rose at getting such vague answers. Aizawa in the corner sighed and snapped his gaze from the rat to her.

“I’m sure what the rat meant to ask was how old are you exactly and how did you reach that age.” Aizawa stated. Clear and concise.

“Of course, if I remember correctly I should be turning 267 this year,” she said, not pausing even when coffee was spat all over the table from a few of the people around the room, “and I was born a human, however upon entry into the veil and my chosen profession as a witch, I was changed. Reaching the height of my craft has allowed me to unlock certain aspects of my being, immortalizing my body for now. I’m still technically in my ‘teen’ years considering the average witch you’ll meet has passed a thousand years in some capacity.”

Aizawa ran a hand down his face in exasperation and a quiet mumble of “fucking problem ch- witch” escaped. A few other heroes were pale, and the spandex woman looked very intrigued. A twink with blond hair that had the weird energy actually coughed up blood. Muska’s gaze snapped to him at that. The need to heal over writing her focus for a moment before Nedzu cleared his throat for attention again.

Reluctantly she returned her gaze to the rat. If she didn’t know any better she would have thought he was undisturbed. She did, however, know better. The rat was practically vibrating where he stood in excitement.

“Viridis, do you think you could give us a basic rundown of the veil?” Nedzu quizzed, looking more and more like the sadistic researcher he was. Fuck, He's just like the elves.

Muska leaned back and sighed. She expected this and went over it with eras last night. They came up with what could, or couldn’t be talked about for the beginning until they were all deemed trustworthy.

“I can give you a short, very short compared to all the details of the veil, summary but frankly the veil doesn’t want certain info getting into certain hands.” She said, voice cold and steely. She would not be taking a no for this.

“I understand! Anything you can trust us with for now would help the mystery that has been plaguing me for years.” Nedzu said, which caused Muska to cackle a bit.

“I know, the… reps of certain races and collectives have placed bets on when and who would slip and give you the info at some point.” watching with amusement as Nedzu’s whiskers twitched, she sighed and leaned forwards. Pointing a finger at the white board behind her.

Nedzu, who of course understood exactly what that meant, nodded.

Muska stood up and grabbed three markers. One black, one green, and one red. Taking the black marker, she drew a large circle and wrote ‘The Veil’ above it. Uncapping the green marker, Muska spoke up as she marked off sections in the circle with black and labeled them in green.

“In the veil there are set collections and races. I, as a witch, belong to the group called Magia.” Magia was written in a section taking up a 5th of the circle, “It's a collective that represents those who follow magically tied professions, no matter the race you are, since once you become a part of what defines the Magia you are assigned this section. Of course like nations there is also dual representation. However, that's more complicated and this is the short version.”

A quick glance told Muska that everyone in the room was listening with rapt attention. Especially Aizawa and Nedzu, one more concealed than the other.

“Next is the elvish. Yes, elves, and yes, they are very pretentious. The younger ones are more lax and ready for mischief, but the elders tend to be stuck in their ways or research. God the research they do. They’re called the scholars of the abyss. Do you need to know something? Ask an elf. They write and read practically everything there is to write and read.” Another section gets cut off and labeled.

“Then there's the dwarves, oh and I’m listing these in population order as is the sectioning. The more people the bigger the section and so on. I’ll get to influence later. Back to dwarves. They aren’t all blacksmiths as myth leads you to believe but they do make the best weaponry and armor. You can find quite a few in engineering professions. A lot find jobs in mixology and brewing as well.” Another section. So far all are labeled with green.

“Next is the Vampires. These guys are incredibly important in the veil since they were the first members of it. Treated the closest to monsters, they had to run away from society's view earlier than loved races like elves and dwarves. Hell, even witches had some supporters when Halloween started to become a festive rather than a lore holiday. If you want to truly know about the veil? Then ask a vampire. They have every secret tucked away and safe guarded by their Origins.” Muska said, a small mischievous smirk was hidden as they faced the board. The energy shift in Nedzu told her the first time he met Eras would be cathartic considering it's her quirk registry game that led her here.

“Next is a much smaller group called the Fae. They are everything you’ve read and more. Do not engage with them until you’ve gone through Celtic mythology. You’ll become moss like that. I fuckin hate the imps sometimes.”

“In a more general group are the smallest numbers. Collectively known as the ‘inbetween’ these members range from the sirens in the waters to the spirits that haunt the earth and fuel the energy. Demons fall under here too but they rarely visit earth and always do so under contract so they don’t have much of a voice. Dragon descendants too, the last of the actual dragons died thousands of years ago but their blood lines are in half dragons. They have wings on some, horns and scales on others, but all carry the boiling blood of their predecessors.”

Muska took a deep breath after labeling one of the last spaces with green. Capping it, she uncapped the red and wrote a bold ‘FORGOTTEN’ in the smallest space. Turning around she dropped all smiles and pleasantries. Voice harsh and cold as she spoke venom with every word.

“Never, ever, look for those in the forgotten. They do not have representation but they are known and branded. A red circle with a line in the middle along with text that only certain people can read is their symbol and it's burned into their skin. The forgotten are the, essentially, criminals of the veil. The veil is filled with people of dubious legalities to humans but there is a special place to rot for those that cross veil taboos. Whether it’s a necromancer practicing on those that are alive, or a vampire who has gone blood crazy and slipped into the view of humans as food. Elves committing experimentation on live creatures for research or sirens drowning sailors into the ocean out of amusement. These are all examples of forgottens who get branded soon after they are recognized.”

The air seemed stale as Muska ran her glare over the heroes present. Even Nedzu shuddered as the energy in the room seemed to freeze and burn those that took too deep of a breath despite not actually happening.

The heroes nodded once they realized she was looking for a response and her gaze softened but still held a serious edge to it.

“The brands are placed by chosen representatives of the race where the forgotten came from. The representative is chosen by a council meeting between the heads of each race, the heads themselves are chosen by vote or position within the race and the job is carried out within 24 hours of discovery.”

Speaking of the representatives of races,

“Any questions before I head home for my fuckin pasta?”

(She just really wants her pasta)

Tags:

@baguettehead

#bnha #mha #mhafanfic #bnhafanfic #mha oc #au

[rotationalsymmetry]

I do stan Marie Kondo though.

I recognize that her approach works best for people who can afford all of what they need and most of what they want; if you can’t just afford to replace a thing you don’t like with a thing you do, the approach doesn’t work so well, and there are potentially some problems with assuming you can just buy whatever you want whenever you need (even for people who can afford the money), especially right now. It is also intrinsically individualistic.

That out of the way though, for people who are within the class bracket she aims at it’s a good approach.

People who have more money than space and more money than time. People who have more stuff (often entire rooms full of stuff) than they need. Because:

Her approach values stuff appropriately. You thank your possessions. You care for the possessions you keep and showcase the possessions you appreciate the most. But you don’t keep stuff just because you feel obligated to — the stuff is there for you, you do not exist for it. (Either extreme is bad: a logical extension of valuing sustainability is taking care of your stuff so you don’t have to replace it as often; but valuing stuff over how well your life is going is backwards. Oddly enough people can fall into both extremes at the same time.)

Her method emphasizes getting in touch with your feelings and desires. This is good. Likewise it emphasized having a vision of how you, personally, want your life to be. This is also good.

A lot of us inherited attitudes toward keeping all the things that made sense in situations of scarcity but don’t make sense any more. It’s necessary to directly confront and challenge those attitudes that make sense in some contexts but not the present context.

A lot of us also inherited attitudes that housework is beneath us, through whatever mix of sexism/classism/whatever. So having some push back against that (for instance, holding up folding clothes as a thing worth doing, and not just a thing that has to be done by someone) is good.

I’ve seen some criticisms that may well hold for distorted/oversimplified understandings of her approach (but every idea can be distorted) but which I don’t think hold for the method as understood correctly. One such critique is the idea that it encourages people to just throw things out and replace them, and therefor is less sustainable. I think this is a distortion. She doesn’t really give examples of people tossing stuff that they need but use infrequently. It’s stuff like clothes that you never wear because you don’t like them. And goodness knows people who have disorganized homes buy duplicates of things they already own all the time. I’ve done that. Who hasn’t? Not being able to find a thing is fundamentally the same as having thrown it out…except it’s still taking up space.

Another critique is the book thing. This is not accurate. Kondo personally doesn’t own a lot of books. But she doesn’t assign people arbitrary maximums either. The person using the method is always in charge of what they keep, and sometimes they end up keeping some extremely arbitrarily things; certainly someone who’s an avid bookworm isn’t going to be giving up cherished books that they love rereading or love just being reminded they exist. On the other hand, I like many people have books I’ve bought but never read on my bookshelf, and sometimes people should be given explicit permission to let those go.

Which gets me back around to one of the main benefits of the method, albeit one that’s underemphasized both in the books and in the TV show: holding onto that mentality when deciding whether to buy something new can really help clarify things. For instance, if I’m considering buying new brush pens, I don’t just think “do I want these?” but also “am I willing to commit to spending time doing a thing that will use them?” Same for books. Not just “am I intrigued?” but also “realistically am I going to read this and when?”

Some people might also think “do I have a good place for this to go”, especially with larger purchases. I’d love a beanbag chair, but I don’t know where I’d put it.

And on the flip side, with things I tend to underbuy (I tend to barely buy enough clothes to keep me covered, and I tend to be at a loss when events requiring nicer clothes come up) I have more confidence in spending money on things knowing that I do in fact need them. (And sometimes am willing to spend more on a higher quality item that will last longer.) Years ago I intended to buy a meditation cushion, when I was meditating regularly, but never did. This past year I finally did it (a bench actually, but same idea) and it’s … appropriate. Sure, I was making do without it before, by sitting on a yoga block instead. (My yoga gear is probably the soundest purchase I’ve ever made. Next to “oh shit my last pair of jeans has a hole in the inner thigh, time to get a new pair right now.”) But it is reasonable for me to have a piece of specialized equipment for a thing that I do every day, and which is designed exactly for that purpose.

Also having encountered the method years ago…I’ve become aware of what sorts of things (mostly art supplies) I will go for years without touching, only to suddenly want them on a moment’s notice years down the line. Useful information. So any time I’m deciding what to keep and what to let go, moving forward, I can do it with that information about myself.

Sometimes people go overboard when getting rid of stuff, and get rid of things they regret later. This is always a risk; change is always a risk. I do think the “spark joy” approach minimizes that risk while still promoting the benefits of a more organized, less cluttered home. There are also risks to not changing, and specifically risks to not dealing with disorganized conglomerations of stuff.

(And in some ways the risks are higher for people with less money. When I have too much stuff I can store it at my parents’. I’m not paying storage fees on stuff that I might never use again. But yeah, it would be nice if Kondo spent some time addressing the issue of “mostly my clients can afford to hire me; let’s talk about tidying up when you can’t afford to buy everything you need.”)

#marie kondo #tidying up #stuff #long post #if you know you’re not going to enjoy reading this #you are hereby invited not to

[houseisekai]

House Isekai: Shadowbringers -Interlude 1

House Isekai Shadowbringers AU Masterlist Here

—

Interlude: Konosuba Gang

Directly after the events of Act 1: Finale...

As House Isekai moves to Derdriu after escaping Church Forces at Garreg Mach, they decide to camp for the night and rest before continuing their journey.

Finally having a moment of calm, Sitri decides to speak with one of the very first members of House Isekai...

—

[No Greater Sorrow - Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers OST]

Sara stopped the group and turned around to do a quick head count.

All the students were accounted for. Blue Lions and Black Eagles not too far behind.

...Then there was Lahabrea and Sothis, keeping an extremely far distance from everyone. She was hoping they’d keep it that way.

(Sara) “Campin’ here tonight boys and girls. Wouldn’t do us good to get ambushed when we’re exhausted.”

Everyone nodded and moved into the woods nearby and cleaned up a spot.

(Ainz) “We will create protection spells in case anyone is watching.”

(Futaba) “Leave scanning the area to me and Fuuka!”

(Mitsuru) “Understood. Us Persona users will secure the area then.”

(Akira) “Roger. Let’s get going.”

(Dimitri) “Suppose we can make the area comfortable to sleep in then.”

(Edelgard) “Seems fine to me.”

(Megumi) “ We will help as well.”

(Kazuma) “Guess we’ll get a fire goin’.”

Everyone had their assigned roles and got quickly to work.

The Phantom Thieves hopped into the trees and disappeared into the night as S.E.E.S, Class VII followed on foot.

The Denizens of Nazarick began casting spells and aiming it above the campsite.

Lahabrea and Sothis set their own mini camp away from everyone.

Sitri noticed Lahabrea staring at her, then quickly looking away.

(Sharon) “Miss Sitri?”

Sitri turned around and saw Sharon with her smile as Doomguy laid Byleth gently on the floor and began patrolling the area.

(Sharon) “Would you like to get some rest?”

(Sitri) “As much as I would, I don’t like everyone doing work as I do nothing. I will go help Kazuma and the others with the fire.”

She took one last look at Byleth before Sharon bowed at her.

(Sharon) “Rest assured, Byleth will be in good hands.”

(Sitri) “Thank you, Sharon.”

Sharon went back to Byleth and took out some strange device and looked over him. Knowing she was not being any help by standing, she went after Kazuma.

...

(Megumin) “Hm...You know I just realized I can’t really see at all.”

(Aqua) “I can see just fine.”

(Kazuma) “Then hurry up and find some good firewood, would ya? Place is creepin’ me out.”

(Darkness) “If there are beasts here, I will intercept it!”

(Kazuma) “Listen we are NOT getting killed because you want to fuel your sick feti-”

Snap!

(Megumin) “W-WHO’S THERE?!”

Aqua turned around reaching for her staff before easing up.

(Aqua) “Oh, hi Sitri.”

(Sitri) “H-Hello...”

Sitri brought up a torch and looked at the four.

(Sitri) “Would you like some help?”

(Kazuma) “Sure. Though, shouldn’t you be resting?”

(Sitri) “I could ask the same for everyone. You all have been working and fighting tirelessly.”

(Darkness) “Hah, this is nothing, Mrs. Eisner! Byleth took us through worse!”

(Kazuma) “Pah, bullshit! He never trained us for all out war!”

(Megumin)��“Kazuma! S-Sorry Mrs. Sitri, he can’t really control his language.”

Sitri couldn’t help but laugh.

(Sitri) “It’s quite fine. Jeralt wasn’t exactly the type of person to filter himself either.”

As she walked over to the group she began thinking to herself.

(Megumin) “If...I can say something, Sitri. We all knew Jeralt during our year at the Academy. He was a good man, and a good father. He talked about you almost every other day.”

(Darkness) “Indeed. I wish he was here to see you now.”

(Kazuma) “You uh...have our condolences.”

(Sitri) “...Thank you. It brings me some level of peace to know how he was...”

She looked up at the night sky longingly.

(Sitri) “Just like all those years ago...”

(Aqua) “By the way, why did you follow us out here of all people? Any reason?”

(Sitri) “No, not particularly. I’ve just had a few questions I’ve been wanting to ask.”

(Kazuma) “Hm? ‘Bout what?”

(Sitri) “Well, I think that floating girl to start. Everyone called her Sothis, but if I recall correctly Sothis was an all divine goddess.”

(Aqua) “Psh, divine my butt! She’s a little gremlin!”

Aqua had a smirk on her face, which confused Sitri.

(Sitri) “Gremlin?”

(Kazuma) “Eh, don’t mind the useless goddess here. She started a lotta bullshit between then two.”

(Aqua) “DID NOT!”

(Megumin) “A-Anyways, we don’t know the true story ourselves. But...from what I heard from other members of House Isekai, she was a true friend.”

(Kazuma) “Not was, IS, a good friend.”

(Sitri) “I’m not sure I understand then. You all seemed so hostile to her.”

(Aqua) “It...may not make any sense but she isn’t OUR Sothis. The Sothis we knew infused herself into Byleth during the encounter with Jeralt’s killers.”

(Kazuma) “Though that’s a story you need to hear from your son and not us. Anyways, only a select few of us could see her during the Academy. We didn’t know the true nature of her, but all we know is that she was with Byleth when it all began. Preeetty sure we were the first ones to meet her actually.”

(Sitri) “You were the first to arrive in Fodlan? Oh, by the way I think I may have found some wood.”

(Aqua) “Yeah, first us, Class VII, then Megumi, then everyone started pouring in.”

(Darkness) “Hm...No, too damp. It wouldn’t light properly. And yes, we were. The four of us were in Kazuma’s mansion when we suddenly found ourselves flung into a battle at Remire Village. It was there we rescued Edelgard, Dimitri, and Claude alongside Byleth and Jeralt.”

(Sitri) “So he became a mercenary like his father...”

(Megumin) “Very good one at that! When we first met him, he didn’t seem to have too much emotion. Though overtime he became a great teacher!”

Sitri smiled as she continued looking.

(Sitri) “...Thank you for taking care of him.”

(Darkness) “If anything, I feel like that we should thank you, Sitri. We don’t know the full story, but you sacrificed yourself so that your child could live.”

(Sitri) “It’s something any mother would do for her child. Though I can safely say I had no intention of...being resurrected, I am happy to see my son alive and well.”

Her smile quickly faded when she started to think again.

(Sitri) “But...Why did Lahabrea resurrect me? He appears to be my son but-”

(Kazuma) “Frankly, I think we should be careful of that asshole. I don’t know what’s going on with him exactly, but I KNOW he doesn’t have our best interest at heart.”

(Aqua) “Right? Plus she resurrected her using some dark magic! That can NOT end up being good!”

(Sitri) “...”

Minato walked past them, not even facing their direction.

(Minato) “Could try and NOT talk like Sitri isn’t even there.”

(Kazuma) “Oh piss off, Arisato. Like you’re one to give me a lecture about manners.”

(Minato) “Hmph.”

(Sitri) “Um...Pardon my rude manners but are you all always this...um...-”

(Kazuma) “Dysfunctional?”

(Aqua) “Aggressive?”

(Darkness) “Violent?”

(Megumin) “Insane?”

(Sitri) “...Well I was going to use nicer words, but considering our first meeting was launching my body into the air and strangling each other-”

(Megumin) “Yeah, most of the time.”

(Kazuma) “House Isekai says you get used to it after a while.”

(Sitri) “I...suppose that’s true. I guess it’s not entirely set in since I’ve only awoken just a few days ago.”

(Aqua) “Alright, these ought to be good. Everyone got something?”

Everyone held up some wood and started to walk back to camp.

(Kazuma) “Oh hey, you finally weren’t useless.”

(Aqua) “Shut up, NEET.”

Sitri looked puzzlingly at them. She could tell they cared about each other, but why were they so...mean?

As they continued to walk, they saw Lahabrea sleeping underneath a tree nearby the camp with Sothis nowhere to be found.

(Aqua) “I got a real bad feeling about him...”

(Kazuma) “I’ve noticed him staring at us, including Sothis while we were walkin down the road.”

(Sitri) “Perhaps there’s a reason he looks like my son?”

(Megumin) “It better be a good one. We haven’t had the best experience with impersonators if you haven’t noticed.”

(Darkness) “Not to mention your resurrection appears to play a key role in all of this as well...”

Sitri looked at her hands and furrowed her brow.

(Sitri) “...Am I?”

(Kazuma) “Well, once we get to Derdriu and meet up with Claude I suppose we’ll get our answer. No use bustin our brains trying to figure shit out so early.”

(Aqua) “Oh hey, you finally said something intelligent-”

(Kazuma) “Fuck off.”

Sitri giggled.

(Sitri) “I guess you were right, you do get used to this.”

(Darkness) “That was....alarmingly fast.”

(Megumin) “Oof, whatever I’m exhausted. Let’s hit the hay yeah?”

(Sitri) “Oh um...”

The four turned around and faced Sitri, eyebrow raised.

(Sitri) “Thank you for taking care of my son.”

[This Beautiful Cruel World - Attack On Titan OST]

They all smiled and raised their arms in unison.

Without another word, the four went to their spot to sleep.

Sitri smiled and was about to sleep when suddenly a pain flashed in her head.

“…I can’t believe I’m missing her.”  

“...do me one favor in case I go down for good this time? Protect everyone else. You’re the only one I can rely on for that.”    

“Do not hesitate to call upon me or the others should the need arise. We will take care of you in these times…”   

“Edelgard, what did you do…?!”

Sitri shook her head once the pain was gone.

(Sitri) “What was that...?”

She looked at the four who were setting up their beds, yelling at each other with profanity.

There was no way they had said all those things at her once.

...So why did their voices sound clear as day, and what was going on?

Her eyes glazed over to Byleth, who was finally put to rest with Megumi, Sara, and some of the other staff and House Reps looking over him.

She then turned to Lahabrea and frowned again.

(Sitri) “What have you started, my son...?”

INTERLUDE: END

Your dream is where your heart is

It’s something more fragile than life itself

No matter how many times you throw it away, you still find it

So rest in peace now

Your wish is violated by your pulsing urge

and as much as you forget about it, you recall it again

In this beautiful and cruel world

We only ask “why” we’re still alive…

Ah, what are we going to protect

with our strength and weakness? If reason no longer exists

TO BE CONTINUED IN:

#House isekai #House Isekai Shadowbringers #House Isekai Shadowbringers Interlude #crossover #fanfic #writing #sitri eisner #satou kazuma #darkness #dustiness ford lalatina #megumin #aqua