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#if I have to hear ‘theres movies about why that’s a bad idea’ one more fucking time abt anything
wade-a-minute · 11 days
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Deadpool's voice and its media portrayals
I read this post by @jhirowolf and @spider-mand, which inspired me to make my own post specifically about dp's voice - please read the og post first!
In the comics it's known that Deadpool has a unique voice - his speech boxes are yellow while everyone elses' are white. What makes it unique is its quality (it's described as rough, raspy and gravelly) but I also think that it's its cadence too (i'll get in to this below). Unfortunately, Ryan's voice in the movies doesn't really come close to this - for multiple reasons.
Ryan's voice physically is very smooth and also pretty high but I get the sense that as dp, he doesnt really do much for his voice, he is pretty much just himself and cracking jokes. As @jhirowolf pointed out, he kind of has this smooth, sarcastic tone. For me the vibe is that of a stereotypical side-character who mumbles sarcastic comments at whatever the other characters are doing. Ryan's voice is often mellow, calm and even
I dont have concrete examples right now, but in the comics SO many characters call Wade insane mere minutes upon meeting him, despite the fact that they dont know anything about him apart from the fact that he is a mercenary.
Why? Because of his voice!
Immediately upon hearing him talk they conclude he is unhinged and unstable and generally unwell. He's loud, aggressive, speaks a mile a minute and on top of that makes dark jokes serious situations that no one else laughs at. It freaks people out and rightfully so! Adding on to this, I think he varies his pitch and rhythm frequently, further making him appear unstable because his voice is never even or monotone for more than a few seconds. I'm basing this on the fact that his speech bubbles are so much bigger than everyone else's (he talks a lot) and also bc he varies his facial expressions and body language a lot when he speaks.
@jhirowolf mentions that Denis Leary was the inspiration for his voice, which i had no idea about but looking at this video, I think his cadence is perfect. You feel that unlimited energy, the loudness, the unpredictableness, his voice and the look behind his eyes make him seem manic and frantic - which it should! It puts people on edge around him, gives him his reputation of being unpredictable and also makes him regard him as insane. Wade doesnt give a shit about norms for socializing, how loud or crass he is - hes got shit to say and hes gonna say it, no matter how much it may annoy, offend or make others uncomfortable
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i think the teaser trailer for the first movie could be Ryans best work when it comes to wades voice
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Conversely, this video could be the worst:
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Like this is purely Ryan, theres no deadpool here. its just his own shameless self-promo in a dp suit
Nolan's voice, on the other hand, isn't perfect either bc it kind of has the similar smooth quality as ryans, its not gravelly, raspy or anything. But his cadence is soo good! He's calm one minute but you never know when he's gonna snap and lose his shit, i love it
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And yeah, Nolan's performance and the funny moments are the only good thing to come out of this game (well i guess another positive is that it made him more popular, it certainly was one of my first encounters which made me interested in him). The bad thing is the amount of damage it did to the complexity of dp's character - they stripped away his layers, the serious and tragic parts that make up who he is, instead of this they literally gave him 1 trait - insane. And that was it. I blame Way's 2008 run for this bc he essentially did the same thing - but the game turned it up to 11. Way at least included several serious and earnest moments where Wade was forced to be introspective and face his issues
in conclusion - so far our ears havent yet been blessed to hear wade's voice
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sadisthetic · 1 year
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alarmingly long hanahaki au jaya. i hurt jay quite a bit in this. this is a product of 4 straight days of insanity. im SO ILL. ABOUT JAYA. IF YOU MAKE IT TO THE END OF THIS. I COMMEND YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME IN ADVANCE.
once again adapted from a twitter thread. its. like 165 tweets long. yeah. yeah. im lazy so its gonna be mostly copy pasted and lightly edited so if it sounds like im talking to myself I WAS. AND I WAS DOING IT FOR FOUR DAYS. 
anyways heres the start.
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so hanahaki.... jaya.... season 3...... jay is absolutely the guy who gets hanahaki theres absolutely no doubt about that like absolutely none. but the world building tho... how should i handle it.... i want it to be canon compliantish. and more importantly. when should i give him symptoms. what would be most interesting
sure. i could give him hanahaki after he find out about nyas perfect match. but haha
what if he get petals earlier tho.
he doesnt understand why at first, why jay starts coughing up petals, he and nya are dating and in love. there shouldnt be any reason for it. its not bad yet so he just ignores it really hard or thinks he mustve gotten a weird strain because theres now way he has normal hanahaki because theres No Way! haha
so when he hears the truth there in his parents trailer, the roots around his lungs constrict and he cant tell the pain apart from his heart breaking in two. his chest hurts so much and he sees cole and just goes ballistic
just imagine. what thats like for him. hes mad but its a secondary response to the heartbreak. hes had signs literally inside all along but to actually find out? like this? jay cant take it
haha. the double date would suck so much HAHA. he holds it in through the whole duration of the movie but when its over he vomits full flowers in the bathroom
ive been mulling over the worldbuilding of hanahaki in this au of mine. i thinking i want it to be a departure from the standard hanahaki worldbuilding thats in fics. just slightly. mostly regarding the fatality and maybe treatments........ i think i want jay to have hanahaki the whole time until skybound. and so i think im gonna have to make hanahaki nonlethal. but kinda like chronic pain. if you cant let go of that love
im partially adopting another fics worldbuilding but i like the idea you can recover on your own if you simply fall out of love. its easier and less damaging the earlier you give up on the love. the roots atrophy and fade and theres not that much scarring. you can easily recover
but you know...... its jay. hes not gonna let it go. he cant. he loves nya.... i think he hides his affliction tho... because he knows nya doesnt want to get back together. and he doesnt want to look you know.... pathetic? desperate? overly clingy?
“you still hasnt gotten over nya?” “dude come on.” “give it up.” he doesnt want to hear it from the others. because he doesnt want to. 
but also he wants to save face in front of nya. hes scared itll drive her even further away. his heart cant take more of that. this distance hurts enough
so for months.............. he suffers the pain of one sided love. quietly. pretending that nothing is wrong and that jay is okay with them just being friends. of course jay could choose to surgically remove the hanahaki.... but he doesnt want to do that
i think im gonna keep a bit of the amnesia worldbuilding standard fics have. but im not gonna have it so that artificially removing the hanahaki makes you forget the person you love. no.... just the love that you felt. i think jay doesnt want to lose his love for nya..... also not being able to fall in love with nya scares him. hes just that fucking attached to her. he has it bad man. dude has attachment issues. hes so clingy. 
anyways. jay chooses to suffer. because hes that badly in love
jay self medicates on over the counter cough suppressants thats meant for the cold and more normal sickness. works surprisingly well. not ideal tho. he also fills his pockets with cough drops and sometimes makes himself sick when he accidentally eats too much on bad days
he gets sick of them. the sweet icky taste and menthol nausea but he doesnt have that many better ways to deal. its just a temporary fix too. considering that coughing is his body's natural way to get rid of the petals. and hes just letting them sit in his lungs
periodically he has to stay hunched over a trashcan to clear out the petals and yes its an awful experience every time. it becomes routine. the petals scratch his throat on the way out and he gets into tea to soothe the irritation. he becomes a regular at mistake's
in general, his ability to breathe starts to decline and he gets winded so much more easily. the plants in his chest limit his airflow and also steals the oxygen from his lungs. his chest is tight always and aches like theres thick needles lodged in his chest. those are the roots
usually its manageable. but it becomes harder to fight. battles usually end up leaving him wheezing. one of the guys teases him about it. that hes slacking and getting out of shape. he sidesteps that convo tho and brushes them off. he certainly cant be honest
im a sadist so im gonna making him pass out after one fairly vigorous battle. one which he has to push himself harder to make it out alive. so hard that his lungs cant keep up with the rest of his body and even when he gets himself to a safe corner or clearing, no amount of breaths is enough and he just blacks out. he eventually comes to a worried face shaking him awake. ill figure out who and when this is set later. either way they just assume jay got knocked out even though they cant find any wounds. theyre relieved he seems fine
but that was very bad. super duper bad for jay tho. he cant let that happen again. but these kinds of things are out of his control tho. but he just has to deal.
things comes to a head in skybound. i think itll be most dramatic if nya finds out in the lighthouse. after she rescues them and they successfully flee. when they settle and in moment jay cant hide he coughs out a gross mass of petals
and nya has a slow step by step realization of the implications. but before all that happens tho. nadakhan. i dont think he knew jay had hanahaki when he first targeted him. maybe. this point might change
but as it is, for the thought i have, nadakhan learns when jays meds wears off, and hes not even able to pop in a cough drop his mouth. and he vomits a messy slurry of petals onto the wooden floorboards of the deck. its EXTREMELY FUNNY to nadakhan, he mocks jay for it! he has hanahaki! that is so tragic! to think jay has known his love was utterly unrequited and yet he tried so hard to win her back. but it was all a hopeless, desperate, pathetic endeavor. so nya truly doesnt love jay, hm? so shes single and free for the taking. no hard feelings, then, when they marry
up on the ship, he coughs up so many flowers. he doesnt get enough sleep from the persistent coughing. and passes out multiple times, for a collection of reasons. from being knocked out, exhaustion, apnea, running out of breath after several matches of scrap n tap
i think it would be really sad and pathetic if there one incident where he chokes on a flower. and he cant cough it out and he thinks gonna die for reals. a pirate helps him out only to add insult to injury (and to torment him more to pull a wish out of him, hes better off alive than dead)
when hes rescued by his friends, theres no flowers around so none of his friends suspect. jay manages to keep the petals in his mouth, catching them behind his teeth, and swallows them back in. he coughs pretty bad but they all think he just got really sick. he looks awful after all
but thats of course only up until the lighthouse. ive been contemplating about how nya handles it all...... how she feels......... what is the most satisfying route here is much more trickier to figure out than just a fixit skybound au....... 
feelings are trickier and much more loaded........ the revelation certainly isnt going to be an easy thing for nya to swallow..... but lighthouse talk has so much potential....... jay might be honest for once..... because he has to be.... forced to be!
ngl lighthouse part of skybound has been super elevated in my head by favorite skybound fic so my perceptions of it and my own take on it for this au is probably going to be influenced by that. not in the sense im copying scenes but in the sense of like. oh yeah writer IS right, lighthouse ep TOTALLY has the massive potential for big feels and honesty. and revealing trauma/hurt feels. anyways. let me talk a bit about nya and the little dilemma i have.....
so like...... nyas part in the story is so tricky to handle.... because she entirely determines the ending of this story. much more so than in the original canon.....
because the crux of this story is the love between nya and jay... the lack of thereof from nya and the undying love from jay. hanahaki. unrequited love. the story is not just about jay making mistakes and being flawed as a person and being tested as a person and learning and growing his mistakes
in this au, the focus is specifically on his love for nya and how hes willing to hang onto it for so long despite how much it literally hurts him. love hurts. its barely even worth it. but to jay it is. this story is driven by his love. however how it ends all depends on nya.....
and heres the thing.... i know the way the "romance" in skybound was resolved was..... whats the word..... forced? it was insufficiently developed.... i cant recall the exact word i wanna use but it was just. tacked on. nyas change of heart kinda came out of nowhere....
nyas line in the lighthouse before she pushed jay through the portal is honestly inconsistent with her characterization that season up to the point. shes really didnt seem like she loved jay back at all. its entirely because the writers didnt write in those feelings
it takes a bit of creative thinking and interpretation to make jays and nyas get together at the end of the season work. you have to fill in the gaps of the romance yourself if you want it and want it to make sense and have it be satisfying
what i do for my fix it interpretation of canon is that nya didnt actually stop loving jay entirely in s3 breakup arc. instead i choose to think is that nyas desire for independence simply grew stronger enough to eclipse her love for jay
also i like to think nya liked jay more casually than he loves her so it was easier to break off their relationship. if youve seen my dream divorce ot3 slowburn get together break up get together fic (concept) (that only exactly two people know what im talking about). and also string of fate au. ESPECIALLY IN STRING OF FATE AU. then you know. my take on them. ANYWAYS.
the problem i have for this au is that i cant do that. i cant use that same interpretation to have them get together again. it doesnt work. because in this au.........nya really did fall out of love for jay. and having them get together again just like canon isnt.......satisfying
its tricky..... because to make nya fall in love with jay now after she learns he has hanahaki..... if im not careful ill be doing the same thing that the writers are doing. writing a careless romance solely because i want them to be together
and i DO want them to be together again.... but it requires a considerate approach if i really do want it. here..... the situation is this..... nya finds out jays has truly been in love with her for months STILL. and its bad enough he got hanahaki. i think she might feel uncomfortable about that. its unwanted love you know? being the object of someones desires still after you long broke up with them. she has moved on but jay hasnt? its super awkward for her...... but also...............
jay knows that. nya isnt stupid. she realizes that jay knows that and thats exactly why he kept it from her in the first place....... shes also uncomfortable because... jay is suffering because of her. she broke it off with him but its not like she doesnt care about jay 
no she still does. jay is still someone important to her. hes not just some ex. hes still a friend.... and her heart aches seeing jay suffer. her heart twists realizing that jay has been suffering this whole time on his own and she had no idea.
and it was out of consideration for her. its not entirely her fault jay has hanahaki..... but also she does feel a little bit responsible. sure jay messed up a lot recently and all of it is because he wanted to get back together with her and she doesnt like that.... but also..
learning about it put some things into perspective for her. like shes uncomfortable but jay has been hurt and is genuinely hurting still and she doesnt want to hurt him more and she wants to be gentle. so she starts thinking first. before she proceeds to deal with feelings
and so she starts really thinking about it. she was mad. she was mad jay kept so many secrets from them and endangered them all. and that he was STILL attached to her after all this time. shes still a little mad about that but also its subsiding a bit now....
if she really thinks about it.... jay had been respecting their break and her boundaries up until recently. in fact she only found out now, months later. jay actually did do a pretty good job of hiding those feelings. and not only that... his hanahaki.
that. she doesnt fucking understand how jay kept that a secret. ITS HANAHAKI. HOW DID HE HIDE IT FROM EVERYONE. ITS THE MOST VISIBLE DISEASE. maybe she did notice jay smothering a cough or clearing his throat every so often but to think it was hanahaki this entire time......
....when did it start even...? she can only assume that it was around their breakup. they eventually have a talk. a really important one that jay cant run away from. it takes a bit for jay to be fully honest and tell her that he started spitting petals when they were still together
she becomes mortified by that fact. and what that means. and she gains a bit of perspective of how the perfect match debacle looked from jays perspective. she really was.... a terrible girlfriend during all that huh.... to nya it felt like a clean break..... but to jay.... it left him pretty raw. 
it didnt hit nya until know how much jay was hurt by the breakup even without considering the hanahaki. jay still loves her despite her cheating on him and making him fight over her because she couldnt decide? it seems that jay doesnt even care about that. doesnt even think she was a terrible girlfriend at the end of their relationship when she very much was. something is deeply wrong with jay (he loves her too much). jay hadnt been the best...... he had been really selfish and self centered. esp with the whole wish thing
but she comes to a realization that she was being really self centered too. its unfair for her to criticize jay for that when the very beginning of it all was because of nyas own selfishness. its unfair for jay to break up over something so stupid like a match making machine
of course part of it was still on jay. he should have still let go. you cant have a relationship in which only one person is in love. but.... she couldve gone about it in a better way. a way that wouldnt have hurt jay so much at the very least
he has apologized for everything involving nadakhan and keeping secrets.... maybe taking on more blame than he should.... nya owes jay an apology too. so at the very least she gives him a proper one. for her own faults
but she doesnt know how to fix jays hanahaki tho...... and to be honest? neither does jay. he tells her this. despite everything he didnt want to force her to love him. he didnt want to guilt her back into a relationship. he didnt want her to give him her pity also
thats part of the reason why he kept it a secret. he wanted to *win* her back. make himself more appealing so that nya would love him again. jay was super misguided in his approach and didnt understand why exactly nya broke up with him in the first place
but thats what he wanted... nyas genuine love. (im ignoring a tiny chip of canon for this. or im considering it a moment of weakness (jays dismay when he learns he cant wish for love). creative interpretation is that seeing his future in the mirror made him too hopeful and a bit desperate) anyways. jay is a hopeless romantic. who is extremely lovelorn. also hes chronically ill like literally. cut him a little slack
anyways anyways. i dont want nya to just get back together with him right after finding out about his hanahaki. its bad romance. it wont taste good. it wont be genuine......... 
as it is...... of course theres multiple options................ but they arent all happy. and i do feel like. a story like this does need a happy ending..... it would be too sad if it remains unresolved. im just gonna talk about the ends that kinda suck first
most unsatisfying but technically still very plausible end: a standstill. nya cant do anything to help. she wants to but she cant return jays love. jay understands but decides keep living with the hanahaki. the two of them keep living in this awkward status quo, knowing.
eventually jays hanahaki gets too much for him to handle and he either dies or nya/the others take matters into their own hands and without his consent, send him to surgery bc hes dying. unethical maybe but they want him to live
its super awkward after that.... but things return to normal and they all forget about it except for nya, where it lays heavy in her mind forever. if he dies its just tragedy. i dont want this kinda of end
a potential good neutral end however can be one in which jay tries his best to simply move on. try to process his one sided love into something... different somehow. because he accepts that nya has fallen out of love with him. he has long accepted that.
but they talk........... and a lot happens (being pushed into the portal, the rest of skybound). and jay has a realization too. nya may not love him in the same way.... it doesnt mean she doesnt love him. she still cares deeply.....
she cares about him a lot as a friend. that love is still worth something. its..... its more than what jay thought nya felt about him. it honestly felt like their relationship get demoted all the way down back to acquaintances, at best coworkers. not technically. they were still friends. but jay felt a yawning distance between them after the break up. its one part nya distancing herself from jay after that whole disaster. its also another part jay keeping his distance so that nya doesnt learn about his hanahaki
whatever talk between them was either just ninja business, surface level casual conversations, or small talk. it was awkward but only when they dwelled on it... (and jay did dwell on it) but in the lighthouse they actually talk Talked about things... about them. and jay learns
nya sacrifices herself to save jay in the lighthouse and he realizes that he still matters to her. the everpresent tightness in his chest doesnt leave but it.... loosens. and he breathes easier for the first time in a while
he still wishes that nya and him could get together romantically. but something about his feelings changes. he feels less lovelorn somehow. his heart still yearns a little. but somehow he feels more okay. he hurts less
and once time turns back and jay and nya share this secret and finally properly reconcile after everything is done. the pain in his chest abates more and more as time goes on. hes not sure if hes exactly cured. but he can live without hurting now somehow
he learns how to live with his unrequited love. and more importantly he doesnt need his love to be requited anymore. because love is love you know? she doesnt love him romantically but she does still love him. and thats still good
they were always a little mismatched in their feelings for each other anyways. jay isnt settling for lesser. nyas love for him now is just different not less. and jay accepts that. and hes content that they managed to fix them. their relationship. hes okay and happy
his own feelings... he doesnt know if they changed themselves also like nyas has. he doesnt feel like his love has changed. but the nature of it mightve become more ambiguous. and it doesnt matter anyways. he loves nya and that will never change
hmmmm i think this became less of a neutral end and more just an unrequited good end. and accidentally poured so much aro juice into it oh my god? i had a good requited end thought up kinda also before this end i just talked about the end first bc i wanted to talk about requited end last
i kinda came to really like good unrequited end........ im still gonna talk about good requited end tho. i kinda want opinions about which end is narratively the best..... even though i only have a confident audience of two
i think requited end is a bit more dramatic..... nya really doesnt know what to do. she broke it off with jay. she wants to fix him. she really wishes he didnt get hanahaki for *her* of all people....
whats so great about her anyways that he would live like this for months on end be just ok with it. she thinks if she was in jays shoes she would long moved on. she doesnt get what is worth the pain and risk
either way she doesnt want to date him out of pity. she distinctly has a feeling that wouldnt actually fix anything. and probably jay doesnt want that too. but also she cant fabricate love
she feels suffocated by just the prospect and it reminds nya about why she dumped jay in the first place. this whole thing reminds nya why she dumped him. jays love was always too much for her. smothering. of course he gets hanahaki. why is she even surprised. if anyone would, its jay. she doesnt want to resent him for it though. hes hurting because of it. and he spared it from nya up to this point and she only found out because jay couldnt help it. who knows how much longer he wouldve kept this secret
but as is. she doesnt know what to do. so they stay in the lighthouse awkwardly together. they were honest with each other but now what? .....actually. curing hanahaki can come later. they gotta focus on saving their friends and all of ninjago first before they can deal with them
HHMMMMMMMM....... i think despite knowing about how much jay love her.... she doesnt really... Get It. HOW he loves her i mean. quantity vs quality. when they were first dating, to her it was really casual. in my mind jay was first attracted to nya shallowly too
but then he fell deeper. more genuinely. and that contributed to a greater discrepancy between their level of affection. nya for the most part has been believing that jays obsession with her is because hes just too clingy and attached. and like he is. but.... its like the product of the intensity of the emotion you know? his love for her manifested in jay in a way that put nya off a little. contributed to the reason why nya dumped him all those months ago.... having a heart to heart gave her some perspective on what it has been like for jay but
thats different from Understanding you know? comprehending... seeing the depth... anyways... so jay had been acting too chivalrous up to that point right? and then nya learns about jays hanahaki and chalks up his behavior to him overcompensating...... a symptom even
nya thinks its just jay trying his best to win her back. she doesnt really have that many reasons to think otherwise. its whats consistent. this all happened because jay wanted them to get together again. whatever, she has decided that shes going to forgive jay for all that, needless acts of chivalry included. even tho. she really doesnt like that. calls it a force of habit and puts it aside. for more Important Things like taking care of jay and taking nadakhan Down
but then they get found and theyre scrambling fast to prepare for the attack and counterattack. they manage to fall into a frantic but familiar routine of collaborative repairs and fixes and asides from jays incessant coughing reminding nya that things are pretty awful.... its nice
she doesnt get to feel that way for long tho. their haven is raided and their prep wasnt enough, theyre struggling, theres way too many pirates and its just the two of them against what feels like an army and theyre on the way to losing and nadakhan is nowhere to be found
they try to stick together to have each others backs but they get separated anyways and they start doing even worse. im changing up the action scene btw. nya manages sweep a bunch of pirates away but doubloon is one of the ones that could actually put up a fight
meanwhile jay isnt fairing very well and maybe worse because he was already injured and also his hanahaki makes it really hard. he fights for his breath trying to hold his own. he gets fucking smashed by dogshank through the floor onto the stairwell below. all the air is knocked from him
and he legitimately cant breathe for a solid moment. hes wheezing and he coughs hard enough to vomit. he doesnt have his breath back when he looks up and sees nya panicking at the sight of him and shes distracted and jay sees doubloon take an opening
jay doesnt even breathe when he instantly fires a lightning bolt from prone towards doubloon. and hes already up and sprinting to nyas side to fill her blindspot.
hes on the cusp of an asthma attack, he can feel it, but he doesnt have the time to worry about it (as if he had any control over it) his chest is tight and his breaths are too shallow and it hurts but he pushes through it to protect nya. hes slipping though
assaulted from all sides, between doubloon and dogshank and all the pirates, jay knows theyre going to lose. mostly because of him. hes dragging the two of them down and why did he ever think the two of them had the chance and why did he ever think that nadakhan would even come (hes not gonna this turned into a full divergence now) and even if he wasnt flagging hard now, he can feel it his chest that hes going to pass out if this goes on for any longer and leave nya to fend for himself and get them both captured and he cant let that happen.
nya is at her wits fucking end she can feel them losing too and nya refuses to think about how at this rate both of them are going down, but she wont let them. but, among the harsh clangs of weapons, the rush of floods, and the cracks of lightning at jays fingertips,
through all this discord, at this proximity she can hear jays struggled breaths and its the most terrifying sound in the world. then suddenly shes shoved to the side and hears a crash and a cry and when nya looks jays sliced through by doubloons sword
then something glows by her feet and nya realizes what jay did. he broke the teapot. clutching at his wound, jay gives nya a strained smile. he says "sorry" and kicks her in before she can object. before the portal closes she watches jay take a stand only to be subdued
she lands in the junkyard with a bad tumble. she just lies in the dust and dirt in shock. it happened too fast. jay sacrificed himself for her? jay risked himself even though he was the one who needed protecting and got himself hurt to pull that stunt.
and now hes in their clutches again. rage begins to well up. why! why?! why did jay do that?! is he stupid! there had to be a better way, they couldve escaped together and regrouped! tears begin to well up as well. nya gets up and smashes a bunch of junk
jays parents come out after that. and nya realizes where she is for the first time and forces herself to calm down. she sorts out her feelings over ednas soup after shes pulled into the trailer..... 
at first she doesnt get it. shes too upset to think about it. she vents to jays parents about what he did. "why did he do that?" and it was meant to be a rhetorical question for herself but edna gives her an answer thats way too simple.
"because he loves you." 
and nya is hit with another rude realization. shes been having too many of those
jay..... loves her. deeply. truly loves her genuinely, more than he cares about himself. its not just lingering attachment. its a deeper, more sincere love than nya could ever fathomed. nya knew how much jay loved her. but at the same time she didnt. she didnt get how he loved her
she feels a way about that. all this time jay loved her this bad? bad enough to catch hanahaki, bad enough to keep his hanahaki, bad enough to hide it. bad enough to *wish* for her love, to suffer, ang to get hurt for her...
she thinks he loves her bad enough to die for her. she really feels a way about that. her heart starts beating fast. she doesnt want to put together why. she kinda wants to cry.
why was she so mean to him... sometimes he deserved the little things he had coming but why was she so harsh. why did she fall out of love with him..... well she knows but also.... she was really unfair to him huh. jay wasnt perfect and he was too much but... she doesnt know.
all she knows is she feels a lot of regrets right now.. and moved by jay what did for her... along with this third unplaceable feeling. 
(she started falling in love again)
its a slow gradual thing tho. nya doesnt place it immediately. she doesnt think she wanted to after she broke up with him herself. didnt even think it was possible.
but eventually nya feels very embarrassed by it when she realizes. because 1) oh my god shes falling in love with him after falling out of love and dumping him? is she shameless? and also 2) flustered because shes For Reals in love this time now beyond the casual kind of love she held for him before. this realizaton doesnt happen anytime soon. probs a good amount of time after everything resolves
so for narrative purposes i swapped jays and nyas roles for this last part of the story only. i think its safe to say jay is not treated kindly when he reboards the ship. in fact i think theyre even crueler for letting nya get away. before he was just roughed up to play with him
a form of coercion to get him to make his last wish. this time theyre taking it out on jay as punishment. nya assembles a rescue party like jay does in canon and somehow rescues jay and she hates the state that she finds him hes in
i think he'll be easier to rescue than nya because hes not like.... nadakhans bride. but wait..... WAIT NO IT COULD HARDER BECAUSE THEY COULD SET HIM UP AS BAIT FOR NYA TO COME GET HIM.... FUCK CURSE MY WHUMP DRIVEN BRAIN!!!!!!!!!! ITLL BE SO MUCH HARDER TO GET HIM LIKE THIS BUT— 
THE IMAGE OF JAY BEING TIED/STRUNG UP IN PLAIN VIEW.... fuck. figuring it out is too hard and i dont even need to figure it out for the romance do i like goddammit. fucking sequencing..... maybe they get their friends out of the sword first.... somehow.
as for how they beat nadakhan..... i havent thought up a good way. i dont think it should go the same way as canon. i want nya to actually have her agency and not take it away again after ive given it to her. 
i however dont know what jays wish should be. thats like so hard to figure out. this end is a significance divergence from canon. oh also jay has been thoroughly gagged so he cant say his wish. and also maybe because the pirates got sick of his coughing. nadakhans goal for torturing jay has changed.
he doesnt want him to break and submit and wish himself away anymore. he has better use in making sure nya comes to him. well he can still break him. its extra motivation. an incentive for nya to be a bit more faster and careless in her desperation to save him. he just shuts jay up also.
also im a sadist. anyways back to defeating nadakhan.... its a little tough ngl! for me and for nya! because this story has diverged so considerably. it cant have the same climax as canon. it just doesnt work. not even when theyre roleswapped
nya cant make a wish. she doesnt have anymore wishes. or hmm maybe she does have one left like jay does in this timeline but i dunno.... technically i could do that bc nya used up her wishes in only stupid ways so its not that hard of a change. 
it changes their game plan in the lighthouse just a bit but in this version nadakhan doesnt even show up so story wise its a nonfactor. they both couldve made a wish and stopped things. but they dont get the chance to do that.
but either way nya having a wish is an option, not something thats set in stone. also i think nya gets a hold of the venom. either jay had passed it to her when he pushed her into the portal or it stayed on his person and was confiscated and nya obtained it because clancee told her about it. which ever works. man is jay doing rough in this au. hes suffering so many consequences....i think as hes bound and helpless, hes gonna have a lot of thoughts... and a lot of regrets
he wishes he never kept secrets, he wishes he didnt make things worse.... i think he wishes nya doesnt come and rescue him. because if she does and she gets captured and nadakhan marries her for infinite wishes then itll all be his fault. again. because nya risked herself for him
so jay hopes nya doesnt come. he wants her to be safe even if it means hes forever captured. its better than the worst case scenario. 
but a tiny tiny tiny part of jay that is wishful does hope that he is rescued. because hes weak. he selfishly wants nya to save him
he shouldve learned by now that his desire for nya doesnt do him any good. but the part thats terrible and in love still wishes for better. he wants to be saved. he wants to be forgiven. he wants to fix things. he doesnt want to hurt anymore.
he thinks he can accept nya never loving him again. but he wants to stop aching in his chest. but he cant let go of his love. at this point its a part of who he is. so even though hes resigned to suffer and part of him foolishly hopes. he wishes
but jay doesnt get it. nya HAS forgiven him. she wishes she has never hurt jay like she did and if she could she would take it back. shes determined to fix things one way or any other. she has to save him or shes the worst. jay never deserved *all* of this.
once she saves him shes going to fix them. somehow.
and somehow they do. with a wish i cannot fucking figure out so SPARE ME. but i think... they dont go back in time. things arent undone and theres damage everywhere. so much repairs to be done. and theres a start to everything
i think i forgot to mention but at the end of unrequited good end, which honestly i think friendship end is a more fitting name, jay and nya hug at the end of skybound when time rolls back. no kiss. i think the same happens at the end of requited end too. time doesnt roll back but they have moment... hug.. but still no kiss. not yet. nya hasnt realized her feelings are changing. actually she might it takes a bit for them to develop. jay and nya start having a very honest relationship with each other tho
nya doesnt want to ignore jays hanahaki and jay comes to a similar conclusion as friendship/unrequited end. he realizes nya still cares for him A Lot as a friend, she cared so much she risked everything to walk into nadakhans trap guns blazin. and he doesnt want to jeopardize their friendship by distancing himself.
he wants things to be normal between them despite his hanahaki. and the funny thing is that... in this end, jays hanahaki gets somewhat more manageable too.... but its for a different reason in this au. lol. lol. because his feelings are becoming requited.
his hanahaki isnt suddenly gone one day because nyas feelings are so ambiguous tho. and when she does finally realize that shes fallen for jay. she actually goes into a bit of denial. for a mix of reasons. 
its not because nya doesnt want to cure jay of his hanahaki. she just didnt think thats a thing that can happen. falling in love again. she was also so very sure that she didnt have feelings for jay anymore before so its also a pride thing she has going on. subconsciously, she doesnt want to take things back because shes stubborn.
and its also one part nya feeling like shes doing jay a little bit dirty somehow (her brain making her overthink in a twisted way) and that she wouldve been toying with jays feelings if she returns them now. after all this time has passed.
is she that fickle? (its not her being fickle) and nya cant quite place why she has feelings for jay again. nya feels like jay probably deserves someone better than her, someone who hasnt hurt him so bad.
nya has trouble understanding herself so she thinks shes being flaky and worries her feelings are flaky also and she doesnt want to hurt jay again with such uncertain feelings. i am making nya feel so fucking complicated and conflicted. FEELINGS ARE OFTEN AS SUCH!!!
but despite nya's internal turmoil, her feelings for jay are very genuine. she might think they are arbitrary but thats not quite the case. well her love is arbitrary as any other love is. but anyways. she fell again because jay did win her over, not even when he was trying to.
his sincere love... his dedication. when nya saw it in a different light it was attractive to her. she appreciates that jay loves her the way he does now. also before (the breakup) her love for jay was a bit shallow. it was just that casual. but now what she feels for jay is more genuine. and more equal. eventually she sorts it out. there might be some of romantic drama to get her to get there though. a bit more accidental hurt.
i had the tangential thought that jay might tell nya that his hanahaki is getting better causing her to go "on no". jays finally letting go of his feelings over for her and nya doesnt want to mess that up. hes finally recovering when she catching feelings again?
of course this would happen to her. shes glad but shes wistful she missed her chance at having a boyfriend who truly cares about her like jay does.... serves her right. .... nya is an idiot lol... jays is getting better bc of her skdjhtrglksdj. anyways
eventually... they talk. and sort it all out. all the hurt and feelings and love. nya opens up and confesses and jay cries about it lol. because this is all he had ever wanted ever since he fell in love with nya. the elation he feels is unparalleled. and tightness in his chest finally vanishes all together and he feels better than he has in ages. of course he says yes. he tells nya things to erase her doubts. and it took a lot of trouble to get here but theyre here now. together again for reals. and neither of them can believe it. 
they hold hands. and they finally kiss
-
I THINK. THATS THE END OF REQUITED END. WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT MY THOUGHTS FOR THIS END WERE INITIALLY MUCH SHORTER, SHORTER THAN, UNREQUITED/FRIENDSHIP END? ON GOD. WHAT HAPPENED. ITS BECAUSE I FELT LIKE REQUITED END REALLY NEEDED FULLY BEAT OUT DEVELOPMENT. OR ELSE I COULDNT BE SATISFIED WITH IT. IM A LITTLE EMBARRASSED BY WHAT I CAME UP WITH FEELS KINDA SAPPY BUT I CANT TELL IF IT IS. IM ARO. THIS ISNT MY HOME TURF. BUT I WANTED REQUITED END TO BE ACTUALLY VIABLE WITHOUT FEELING FORCED.... I WANTED TO BE AS SATISFIED WITH THIS AS I AM FOR UNREQUITED END. AND ENDED UP NEEDING TO PUT IN 100 TIMES THE WORK SDJKTUFHIGTLSDKJ. I THINK I ACCOMPLISHED WHAT I WANTED THO...... I THINK ITS OKAY..........
okay. im finally picking flowers. ive been thinking about it a bit while i wrote this whole thing. it wasnt a priority. but i do wanna pick some flowers that fit this story....
had the thought that depending on the end of this au (... i have aus within my au huh....) jay actually has different flowers. different meanings and symbolism.
i want jays primary flower to be an anemone for the record. “forsaken love”. nods. thats pretty representative of jays love for like. 3 seasons. also.... shares a name with the ocean animal. water... small connection with nya... not directly representative of her but it does a little. anemone has a few other meanings as well and i think those can fit too depending on the end. but the primary meaning im using is forsaken love (apparently its specifically the red and pink ones that mean this. please do note all these flower language resources are pretty inconsistent from each other)
tragic death end- anemone (specifically red- also means death), red poppy (remembrance in death), red spider lily (am i going too ham with the death flowers? yes. would jay see this as an ill omen? definitely. however. symbolism. also this bouquet is just So red. with blood lol)
tragic lost love (surgery) end- anemone, yellow chrysanthemums (broken/slighted love), black dahlia (betrayal), narcissus (unrequited love, selfishness), rue (regret), i would add forget me nots if i didnt think it doesnt fit with the colors
friendship/unrequited end- anemone, yellow rose (bros the meaning of the yellow rose is so fucking loaded LMAO. friendship, infidelity (nya), undying love? the wiki sure lists a lot), dandelion (overcoming hardship, growth, hope, and healing, friendship)
requited end- anemone, sea lavender (remembrance/memory, sympathy, i love you), sea holly (independence (nya) and attraction (jay)). okay so i dunno if a bouquet of these would look good together per se but.... ocean theme.... and also i wanted the flowers to rep both jay and nya in meanings.... since this is the end in which theyre together after all....
flower language is fucking hard. but i cant NOT put sincere thought into it. its fucking hanahaki i feel like i Gotta. btw these arent 100% set in stone i might change my mind about them? but i do really like anemone tho.... and tangential thought hgtjbnfjkghl sea holly would be fucking AWFUL for jay to cough up. esp when he starts spitting full flowers. those look like they hurt. just like what its like to love nya (lol). flower that would definitely make him cough blood
anyways..... if you made it to the end of this..... thank you.... this post is literally over 7600 words. thats like a long one shot. this is more like a fic outline tho. anyways anyways.... madness legit descended upon me while i wrote this all. i hope you enjoyed. i did this for my self satisfaction but if other people enjoyed this also i kinda wanna know
holds up a glass. cheers to jays suffering and heartbreak
(og thread here)
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nicomrade · 7 months
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so i reread the scott pilgrim comics this week for the first time since 2019? lots of stuff happened in my life in-between + i learned to actually like, pay attention when reading so this specific reread felt really important to me- the issue of reading it in french for the first time aside. heres some misc thoughts i had while reading! some of this stuff is drawing from conversations about the comics ive had with people over the years, i dont mean to break any new ground here, and i dont have a specific lense to look at the comics through so its not structured like analysis either. full thoughts under the cut! i hope you all like going on this little trip with me ^-^
so first of, the X motif! this i KNOW i saw someone else talk about. it comes up first on scott's jacket with the X-men patch (and it comes up again in that context- "then wolverine is crucified on a big X") and also on knives' scott-shrine, her dad slashes an X over scott's picture. these are the two biggest exemples but there really are Xs constantly in the imagerie of the comics, which is great and i love. the comic is about fighting ramona's exs, and this is foreshadowing that scott himself will be one, but its also generally about the baggage that comes with existing. at its core its really comics about dealing with whats over, so we get into scotts relationships w envy & kim & knives (& ramona), but we also get into his relationship with lisa (what couldve been) we also see him move flats (the end of an era!), in volume 1 scott tells knives about the house he grew up in that now belongs to another family, scott breaking his bass & no longer being in a band, etc. theres sooooo many flashback sequences in these comics and references to the past… its all about the X.!
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loosely related in the foreshadowing department there are genuinely so many background details of stories about people who dont matter to the comics that foreshadow later developments. the details of why Crash & the Boys changed drummers is straight up the dynamics of Clash at Demonhead, theres the Lucas Lee movie on the BG thats visually identical to scotts memory of when he got with kim- and the reveal that the lady in that movie wasnt dead is arguably foreshadowing for scott reviving in volume 6? if you know whats happening in the story, rereading the volumes really is so rewarding. it also helps on a first read cause unconsciously its not the first time you're hearing about these ideas so theyre easier to digest & accept. this is also what the character explicitely referencing what will happen later is for- "i wonder how the Boys & Crash can do music without instruments- maybe it will be relevant later in the evening" "i'd need a deus ex machina to beat todd", these help you accept when these things do seemingly "come out of nowhere" later in the scene (and poke cheerful fun at it lol these are fun comics)
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a personal fave of mine is the phrase "read the comic sometime" thats repeated in the early volumes at characters who werent there for something. its 4th-wall breaking, its fun, it nicely tells lost readers where to head to without re-dumping exposition, AND it helps keep track of who was where for what scenes … stuff like "when did stacey & ramona become friends??" or "i cant believe this is stacey & neils first meeting!" or "wallace was already introduced to ramona earlier" … its all fun and helps you stay on the ride. i think this is why i would read the comics back to back to back to back and retained very little. its easy to passively read these comics and its not a bad thing! though it is better to actively read them, and take these notes as fun jokes & reminders, and not life boats.
the 4th wall breaks are also great for the side characters having their own lives in the background. there are a lot more time indications in scott pilgrim than i remembered, if youre paying attention i think its really really easy to have a nice timeline in your head. but when stuff is broken to scott its not "i started dating mobile during X month" or "i came out X months ago" its "i started dating mobile during volume 3" and "i came out during volume 5" that way the reader can more easily relate it to the story that was happening at the time- and to keep in mind during a volume reread. its not a writing technique for EVERY comic, but its something that scott pilgrim gets to have BECAUSE its a comic- and unapologetically so! this is not a work that wants to be more novel than graphic to be taken seriously. its a comic, and its silly, and its also a work of art, and you have to respect it on its own terms.
theres also, uhm, ill be quick on this point cause its kind of weird how lesbians/sapphics are handled in the comics. its not BAD but theres clearly a bias towards male homosexuality being fleshed out and lesbianism not so much. but so the start of volume 4 is when kim & knives make out and it really starts this obsession in scott about this thing he cannot tell anyone about but is still thinking about, that prepares for roxies introduction- ramonas ex girlfriend. that i believe is also when wallace first asks if scotts broken out the "L-word" yet and it gives more context to scott assuming its lesbians? and him then going all "why does everyone keep asking me about lesbians!" but it is also kind of weird re: lesbian fetishism (which IS pointed out with scotts weird poster that no one likes but thats it). and all that with ZERO canon lesbians! roxie is pretty bi-coded i would say with her insistance on being "HALF-ninja", but ramona is described as an american ninja in the early volumes so its kind of loose. idk its weird and i like to think julie came out as a lesbian cause stephen & her being a comphet4comphet couple is really good to me
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a thing id never noticed before is that julie was suspecting stephen of having views on knives during volume 4? and its why she was so shitty to knives for a while there, and then its "worked out" at the end of the volume. this feeds into the constant fear of cheating during the story, theres of course todd & scott who do cheat, but also more grey areas of relationships. im thinking of ramonas anxieties around lisa, and when scott finds out roxie stayed over at ramona's. about stephen too, his response to julie apologizing for being jealous of knives is very… uncomfortable
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"i have nothing to fear!" "right yeah..." surely because hes starting to realize hes gay, and possibly because he's already vaguely started seeing joseph. we dont get more details on his relationships i am not going to accuse him of cheating LOL. i truly dont care. but its an anxiety that comes up again and again whenever relationships are starting to turn sour- "are they cheating?" and having been in my 20s for a little bit yeah i get it. scott not telling ramona about his job- not telling her much of ANYTHING during vol 4- and ramona not sharing much either are also part of this. theres a reason all of this happens in volume 4, and next volume ramona finds out scott cheated on knives with her. loss of intimacy and the breakdown of dialogue is all part of cheating anxieties, whether there is actual cheating or not. "what do i not know? what else are they keeping from me? they dont talk to me but they talk to them? are they cheating on me?"
theres a really neat thing the comics do to show the breakdown of scott and ramona's relationship in volume 5 and its the scene where ramona goes shopping and scott tags along. she spends it not saying anything (until she tells scott she doesnt even like his band) and scott obsessively talking about his comics (X-men!) while she doesnt look particularly interested.
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this is the scene where scott breaks up with knives again!!! the roles are reversed, scott is now the one talking about whatever while his girlfriend's unresponsive, and obviously ramona doesn't break up with him here and there, and they dont kiss in a goodwill, but the ressemblance is there. and like with the knives breakup scene, we have a good date variant of this! its their very first date from the first volume where scott does mostly talk about himself but ramona is having fun joking with him. here we are shown their relationship slowly crumbling and it lays the ground for ramona leaving at the end of the volume.
similarly to how scott battles all of ramonas evil exs (himself included), ramona does face all of scott's own exs. its not as spectacular but we see her fight knives in volume 2, then she fights envy in volume 3. we also have her comment on kim that she does like her (same with lisa, who is not strictly an ex but emotionally is treated as such. especially with how scott sleeping over at lisa's is paralleled with roxie sleeping over at ramona's) these are not comments she makes about stephen or julie, for exemple, its specifically women who had a close relationship with him. and uhm ramona also comments on liking wallace who- again- is not STRICLY an ex, but hes also part of that volume 4 cheating anxieties conversation, wallaces incessant flirting, mobile himself jokes (?) about finding wallace in the arms of another man, etc. but most convincingly to ME because we are talking about EXs here is the flashback of wallace inviting himself at scotts house being identical to lisas scene of inviting herself at scotts, scott saying the story of how he ended up living with wallace is "somewhat gay", and the general college flashbacks.
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i think this points to scott & wallace having briefly dated in the past, or (because hes paralleled with lisa) having a "what couldve been" relationship where they didnt make anything of it and now the time window's passed and emotionally? kind of feels like an ex. and if anything they ARE ex-roommates lol. this is not a scollace truthing thing, im a firm mobillace guy ok -_- im just saying its there. back to the point of ramona facing scott's exs as well, YES i am including herself in it. her going to the wilderness during vol6 parallels scott going to the countryside, the very place he faces negascott properly. and the way ramona talks when she comes back its easy to see that she did face herself on that trip. & the figurines agree with me that the idea of a negaramona does exist :)
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thats more or less all i had in mind, i also feel like i was finally able to properly enjoy the themes of the comics of facing your own shittiness and doing better, of the harms of being stuck in your own head, of never ending up like gideon (who is so attached to his exs that he literally cryogenizes them!) the warning of rewriting your own memories (or at least biased recollections of it) uhm how breakups suck! and how cheating is not always black & white but also fucking sucks !! being out of school (wanting to go back to school?) and looking for jobs- and yes if scotts life had a face i would punch it too its literally unfair how easily everything goes for him on that front, even freeloading with wallace (<- jealous). envys obsession with a guy who is so obviously shitty but who shes been best friends with since they were 11 is also kind of… ooh i get it now…. its yeah. i think they really are comics for being in your 20s, a lot about dating? but its so generally about human relationships and dealing with your baggage, i think it is still relatable without the specific romantic relationship experience.? i love these comics. everyone read scott pilgrim if you havent in a while (or ever!!!!) and try to think a little about it as you read it really is so worthwhile. and if anything theyre insanely funny, and wallace is there!
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pesterloglog · 4 months
Text
Dave Strider, Dirk Strider
Act 6, page 7748-7756
DAVE: ok actually maybe i will get into it
DAVE: i dunno why my friends got to have adults around who cared about them
DAVE: they complained bitterly about stuff so i guess i convinced myself they were all in the same boat as me
DAVE: but thats not how it was
DAVE: their complaints were trumped up nonsense and i bought it cause... i dunno
DAVE: i didnt have any frame of reference
DAVE: but his dad and her mom no matter what they said it was so obvious they cared about them deeply
DAVE: even jades weird fuckin grandpa who died when she was young obviously would have done anything for her
DAVE: why did i get such a raw cut of the asshole deck
DAVE: and why did it take me so long to figure that out
DAVE: and like hes dead now so thats that
DAVE: so all thats left to do is look back and try to put the pieces together of my first 13 years
DAVE: and all i can think is what the fuck WAS that?!
DAVE: i dont come away with the impression i used to try convincing myself of, that he was like "mysterious" or "stern" or "aloof"
DAVE: the only feeling left is this insane impression that i was raised by somebody who fuckin HATED me
DAVE: and the whole act of even "raising a child" was some totally fucked up game to him
DAVE: like parenthood was one of the highest tiers of irony in his solemn bullshit bro-ninja code
DAVE: so he went through those motions and did whatever he thought was "funny" or "badass"
DAVE: but under that weird stylistic and totally sociopathic approach to parenting i cant even IMAGINE there was any emotion toward me other than some sort of loathing
DIRK: What...
DIRK: Did he do?
DAVE: i dont want to get out the laundry list
DAVE: but for reference laundry wasnt one of those things
DAVE: that was just one of the many little domestic things i just had to sort of FIGURE OUT
DAVE: sorta like i eventually had to learn what the REAL purpose of a refridgerator was from movies
DIRK: Wait.
DIRK: What??
DAVE: i dunno theres too much to even get into
DAVE: just
DAVE: i dont remember the atmosphere ever not being nerve wracking
DAVE: all havin to sneak around and...
DAVE: ugh my shitty childhood spider senses are tinglin just thinking about it
DAVE: it was "training" you know
DAVE: but you know what it really was it was some vicious shit that was bad and sucked and i hated it
DAVE: it didnt make me stronger
DAVE: it did the opposite
DAVE: it made me never want to fight
DAVE: it made me never want to see blood or be near danger or hear metal sounds
DAVE: it made me hate the idea of being a hero cause he was a hero and he ruined the idea of heroism
DAVE: i dont even want to be fighting this shitty version of jack but hey nobody else has secret welsh powers so i guess i have to
DIRK: ...
DAVE: what gets me is how long it took me to put all this together
DAVE: to stop seeing it as some kinda roughhousey and eccentric life i had but was otherwise normal
DAVE: it took years to deconstruct it all and put it back together to understand how fuckin mad i should be
DAVE: and in particular how stone cold deeply uncared for i was my whole life
DAVE: like... being merely "monitored" by a violent robot
DAVE: i only started getting it after spending a lot of time in person with a bunch of people who actually did care about me
DAVE: and i could start feeling like
DAVE: actually somewhat human for the first time
DAVE: instead of...
DAVE: some sort of runty afterthought to a household cabal of smutty puppets
DIRK: ... Puppets?
DAVE: the fuckin puppets!!!
DAVE: i know how it sounds but i am NOT joking and there is NO shred of doubt in my mind that he loved all those puppets more than me
DAVE: honestly it is very possible that he was just insane and thats that
DAVE: i guess it didnt help either that we lived with what we have come to understand may theoretically be the most evil doll to exist in any universe ever
DAVE: in fact its my tenuous understanding that he came down to earth with that thing and like actually grew up with it
DAVE: maybe...
DAVE: maybe spending 30 some years being unseparable from that hell puppet had some effect on him??
DAVE: maybe if it hadnt been casting a pall over our apartment 24/7 since he took me in...
DAVE: grinning...
DAVE: glaring...
DAVE: laughing in my sleep...
DAVE: maybe our lives wouldnt have been quite so...
DAVE: maybe we would have...
DAVE: ugh
DIRK: What?
DIRK: You ok there?
DAVE: .....
DAVE: .....
DAVE: yeah
DIRK: That doll.
DIRK: That was Cal, right?
DAVE: yeah
DIRK: Right.
DIRK: My version is "empty", apparently.
DIRK: Whatever that means.
DAVE: huh
DAVE: how do you know that
DIRK: A source.
DIRK: One supposedly knowledgeable in jujus.
DIRK: I never quite knew what that meant, though.
DAVE: well
DAVE: whatever his was
DAVE: "empty" is never how i would have described it
DIRK: Hmm.
DAVE: man
DAVE: i dunno if i figured something out here
DAVE: like um "explained" something or
DAVE: if im just driving myself crazy with this talk and nothing even needs explaining
DAVE: it doesnt change my past or how i feel about him
DAVE: he was still pretty much awful no matter what the reason
DAVE: and im sure thats the only feeling ill ever have about him
DAVE: so who cares why it was like that
DIRK: Yeah...
DIRK: That...
DIRK: All sounds really bad.
DIRK: I don't know what to say though.
DIRK: Maybe I shouldn't say anything.
DIRK: Since I just remind you so much of him, for, uh. Obvious reasons.
DIRK: I don't want to make you feel worse, or make it sound like I'm offering a defense.
DIRK: For him, or me.
DIRK: Because I don't have one.
DIRK: For either of us.
DAVE: come on man
DAVE: YOU didnt do anything
DAVE: this was just some douche bag with your exact dna, who happened to grow up to be my bro
DAVE: you had a completely different life full of like
DAVE: different choices and actions and stuff
DAVE: and even if you were gonna turn out like him youve barely cleared the half way mark on actually chronologically gettin there
DAVE: in some way ranting about all this is probably just uncool of me because...
DAVE: you arent him
DAVE: youre not resposible for any of this shit but im sorta implicitly tacking it on you anyway
DAVE: so
DAVE: sorry about that
DIRK: I'm not sure it's true though.
DIRK: At least, I don't feel that way.
DAVE: what way
DIRK: That I'm not him.
DIRK: The fact is, I am.
DIRK: It's something I've come to understand about myself.
DIRK: All splinters of me are basically me, no matter how much I want to resist that truth.
DIRK: Or pretend they aren't reflecting my own qualities back at me.
DIRK: I bear a certain responsibility for all of them.
DAVE: splinters...?
DIRK: Yeah.
DIRK: I guess the concept isn't that unique to me.
DIRK: We've all got other versions of ourselves running around here and there, throughout the various compartments of this messed up cosmos.
DAVE: right
DIRK: I just happen to be particularly connected to mine.
DIRK: I've felt...
DIRK: Haunted by them.
DIRK: And what that really means is, I'm perpetually haunted by my own bad qualities.
DIRK: So, when I hear about stuff I did in another reality,
DIRK: I'm not sure what my adult self might have ever tried to do to atone for that stuff, if anything...
DAVE: pretty much dick squat
DIRK: Yeah. But in any case,
DIRK: I'm sure I was completely in the wrong, and I'm sorry I messed up your life.
DAVE: ...
DAVE: thanks
DAVE: but
DAVE: it still feels a little odd accepting an apology from somebody who i just met and technically had nothing to do with my life
DAVE: even if you do feel guilty splinterways or whatever
DAVE: it is just a messed up situation
DAVE: and i guess i had to vent
DAVE: and there was never anyone i wanted to say all that to
DAVE: and the only thing that was gonna drag it out of me i guess was like a teen stand-in phantom of my dead bro
DAVE: just some perfectly innocent dude havin to take the brunt of this shit
DIRK: I'm not particularly innocent though.
DIRK: I've messed a lot of things up.
DIRK: With my friends.
DIRK: Honestly, that's why I wasn't that bent on sticking around, when I showed up.
DIRK: And pretty much jumped at the offer of flying here to get ready for some yet to be explained battle.
DIRK: Battles are easy. Just you, a sword, some bad guys... it's a lot simpler than having to answer for things you did.
DIRK: For the most part, I feel pretty bad about the role I played in my friends' lives.
DIRK: Especially Jake.
DAVE: what happened there
DIRK: I don't even know.
DIRK: An unmitigated disaster for which I'm entirely to blame.
DIRK: It's not any one thing. I think I was just a completely toxic element in his life from day one.
DIRK: I don't know what he's doing now.
DIRK: I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to avoid me as much as possible.
DIRK: I'm sure that's for the best.
DIRK: I think I need to stay out of his business for a good while, so I don't risk poisoning another innocent kid's life.
DIRK: Like I did with you, apparently.
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: i mean
DAVE: maybe its a little different cause relations between peers is a whole other thing
DAVE: its tricky shit and youre both figuring stuff out on a relatively equal footing and youre both at the same point in your lives
DAVE: its not like when one person is older and supposed to be a lot more...
DAVE: never mind this is a fucked up thing to think about
DAVE: but the bottom line is yeah laying low while you sort out your stuff cant hurt
DIRK: Right.
DIRK: The thing with that, with my adult self's...
DIRK: Ways.
DIRK: The sad thing is,
DIRK: I can really see it.
DIRK: How someone like me can go unchecked in life, and turn out to become a much worse person than I already am.
DIRK: I guess I'm just relieved I still have some time to make sure that doesn't happen.
DAVE: you dont actually seem like a bad person to me though
DIRK: No?
DAVE: nah
DIRK: Why not?
DIRK: We did just meet, after all.
DAVE: because
DAVE: i dunno if truly bad people wrestle so much with whether theyre good or bad
DAVE: i think if i ever sensed my bro like
DAVE: struggled at all with what he was doing or who he was
DAVE: or showed any sort of doubt
DAVE: that might have changed everything
DAVE: but there was never a crack in it
DAVE: or the slightest hint of introspection behind the aggressive cooldude facade
DAVE: if there was i sure never noticed
DAVE: i mean personally
DAVE: i think about it all the time now
DAVE: what it actually means to be good or bad
DAVE: or if not something that starkly moral
DAVE: at least just trying to examine the difference between being decent and being a douche
DAVE: maybe its because of him i worry about that now
DAVE: but for me i think that internal struggle is kind of mild
DAVE: for him...
DAVE: or you i mean
DAVE: it sounds like some pretty dark shit
DAVE: like grappling with...
DAVE: becoming evil vs simply trying not to
DIRK: Yeah.
DIRK: That's not too far off.
DAVE: but the point is
DAVE: even just talkin to you a little bit
DAVE: its obvious youve been fighting with that
DAVE: which means that you care enough to put in some effort
DAVE: i think that counts for something
DIRK: Maybe.
DIRK: Not sure if I'm ready to accept a pat on the back for recognizing I have some problems, and worrying about whether they'll destroy me and fuck up the people I care about.
DIRK: That might be setting the bar kind of low.
DAVE: well when it comes to the subject of him
DAVE: the bars already pretty low dude
DIRK: The weird thing, honestly,
DIRK: Is that it's actually kind of refeshing to hear a sincerely leveled critique of all my negative qualities, coming from another person invested in a relationship with me, rather than from a fucked up iteration of myself as some bizarre "trollish" form of self abuse.
DIRK: The only thing I've ever been exposed to are either various forms of self loathing either from me or my auto-responder, or attitudes completely oblivious to my real issues, as expressed through my friends.
DIRK: My friends always seemed to cut me so much slack, or were just never aware of the kind of person I really was.
DIRK: Well, Jake probably is, by now at least.
DIRK: But he's also the sort of guy who's just as likely to blame himself for stuff I did, as he is to blame me.
DIRK: Jane and Roxy, though.
DIRK: Never seemed to see anything wrong with me.
DIRK: If anything, just the contrary.
DIRK: Roxy in particular had a certain... fixation.
DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did.
DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed.
DIRK: To be idolized in some form by other people I respected.
DIRK: I had enough of that feeling coming from within, particularly when I was younger.
DIRK: And since then, I've been plagued by the insane ego of my youth in the form of an artificial intelligence I designed which essentially trapped that state of mind in a sort of horrid suspended animation.
DIRK: Until... recent developments, of course.
DAVE: so
DAVE: was that stuff true
DAVE: when you said you idolized the other version of me
DIRK: Yeah.
DAVE: and not just some bullshit like how i used to say the same thing about my bro when i didnt know any better
DIRK: It's definitely not like that.
DIRK: I never lived with him, or met him, so couldn't have anything like the contentious relationship you had with my older self.
DIRK: He was a historical figure from centuries ago.
DIRK: There was a lot to admire, and think about fondly.
DIRK: Especially since I was alone, and never had any direct contact with another person, or any concept of civilization.
DIRK: So even though I'm sure I romanticized what his life was like, and the early 21st century in general,
DIRK: It was nice to think about you.
DIRK: I passed a lot of time that way.
DAVE: you say there was a lot to admire
DAVE: like what
DIRK: Well...
DIRK: He was pretty famous.
DIRK: Made some successful movies.
DIRK: At least under a somewhat expansive definition of "success".
DIRK: And an even more expansive definition of "movie".
DIRK: His work accumulated a lot of subversive political influence, which got him in trouble later.
DIRK: He made like a million bullshit Statues of Liberty, scummed them up with jpeg artifacts, and littered them all over the planet.
DAVE: holy shit
DIRK: He was also a pretty badass swordsman, and an active member of the resistance movement.
DIRK: He slaughtered the clown presidents on the roof of the White House, and flew away on a shitty skateboard.
DIRK: Then it seems he gave the Batterwitch a pretty good run for her money.
DIRK: It wasn't enough, but at least he went down fighting.
DAVE: that
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: ima need to hear more details on this some time
DIRK: Sure.
DIRK: But as you can tell, clearly there was a lot to look up to.
DIRK: I thought about the examples you set constantly. The creative ideals, the advanced theories on irony and humor, the tales of courage and martial prowess.
DIRK: Really, I modeled everything about myself after you. Or at least everything good that I was trying to become.
DIRK: And I probably spent an embarrassing amount of time imagining what it would be like to live during his time, and to be able to have something resembling a sibling relationship, or be in some sort of master-apprentice situation.
DIRK: When I finally learned you existed, and started to understand who he really was in relation to me, that put a lot into context.
DIRK: I realized he was a version of you who got a chance to live up to his full potential.
DIRK: And when I understood there was a young version of you, in a situation sorta like mine, whose time on Earth got cut short when you were thrown into all this,
DIRK: I was at least happy to think there was some reality where you got the chance to do everything you wanted to do, be successful, and fight for all the right things.
DIRK: Even if ultimately it didn't lead to a great outcome for humanity, you had an opportunity to live a full life and show what you were made of.
DIRK: While I guess I had... the same opportunity on your world, somewhat less fortunately.
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: but then for all my bitching i guess i still never grasped your full reality
DAVE: just like you probably didnt grasp mine, but just reading into the mindset of a historical figure as best you could
DAVE: what if i wasnt as heroic as it seemed?
DAVE: what if adult me was kinda douchey too in a way you couldnt observe
DIRK: Perhaps.
DIRK: But beyond a certain point, I think accomplishments speak for themselves.
DIRK: I dunno if you can just completely shred every person who ever did great things because they had some flaws.
DIRK: All I can say is, it was important to me to see him the way I did.
DIRK: As a good person who inspired me, and set the standard for what I wanted to be.
DIRK: It kept me going.
DIRK: That said, I'm also glad there's this version of you who got to go through all the things you've been through.
DIRK: Like, yeah, you didn't get to be the cool celebrity who cuts down juggalos on badly defaced government property.
DIRK: And the idea of a "normal life" was rudely taken from you, and it's something you'll never get to experience.
DIRK: But this is so much more challenging, and uncertain.
DIRK: You get to apply all that potential you showed in one reality to something much bigger and more existentially critical.
DIRK: Whatever strength you showed in trying to save a dying planet, the fact is, I think we need that more here.
DIRK: And the trials inherent in being a part of something like this, I think they bring more out of you than a relatively pedestrian life on Earth would. Make you face more things about yourself. At least, that's been true for me.
DIRK: But it sounds like it's been true for you too.
DIRK: It sounds to me like the experiences you've had changed you a lot, for the better.
DIRK: You mentioned the experiences with him that were designed to make you stronger have actually made you weaker, but really, I doubt that's true.
DIRK: I bet you've become stronger than you realize, not because of anything he did, but because of what you've done, and the ways you've changed yourself through your own effort.
DIRK: I hope it doesn't come off as overly sentimental garbage, but it seems to me like you turned out to be a really good dude.
DIRK: Like, really, a better sort of dude I ever imagined talking to when I pictured meeting the legendary guy I idolized.
DIRK: I pictured him as probably being "too cool" to be the type of guy you are.
DIRK: But you know what, fuck being too cool for that.
DAVE: ...
DAVE: you
DAVE: ...
DAVE: ...
DAVE: ...
DAVE: you dont think im cool?
DIRK: Nah.
DIRK: I mean, in the right way, yes. I think you are.
DIRK: But, in the way that doesn't mean anything and doesn't matter,
DIRK: Not particularly.
DAVE: ...
DIRK: Anyway, that's...
DIRK: All my "stuff", with respect to your other self.
DIRK: Again, there's a lot more I could say about him.
DIRK: Maybe stuff you should know, or maybe it's all irrelevant to the path you're on now.
DIRK: Regardless, I'd be more than willing to answer any questions you have about him.
DIRK: Or, anything really.
DIRK: Feel free to ask me whatever, ok?
DAVE: ...
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: i
DAVE: ill have to think
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haikyuupaladin · 1 year
Note
I genuinely dont understand your post. If there are no gifs why do you want us to tag it? Because your reasoning was basically 'bc i cant go see it i dont want to hear anything about it'. the hype affects you none at all. theres also the fact that it is an objectively good series. thats why they are praised. the art style with the flashing is what makes it so unique. Just because you cant enjoy it doesnt mean its not good.
I’m going to be addressing this ask a bit out of order. The first thing I want to address is the idea that the flashing lights somehow makes Spiderverse unique. It doesn’t. It’s getting harder and harder for people with any form of photosensitive triggers to find anything they can watch because flashing lights are becoming more and more common.
They also aren’t necessary. Especially in animation. If you can’t make a movie that’s just as good without including flashing lights, chances are the flashing lights are just a distraction from some flaw, or they’re the cheap or easy way of doing things instead of putting some effort and money into it.
Also the fact that you are sending this ask proves that there’s at least one area that the movies are objectively bad in. The movie’s catchphrase that’s supposed to encompass the message is “anyone can wear the mask.” By making it inaccessible, they failed to get that point across, both because there are people they explicitly exclude from the audience with this choice, and because it encourages fans to defend that decision. A movie is meant in part to convey a message, and Spiderverse fails completely to convey that message, even though it’s blatantly stated.
As far as how the hype affects me, besides just being upsetting to see people constantly praising an animation style that actively endangers my life and acting as if this has the pinnacle of not just animation but also of inclusivity, it actually does have a bigger impact. The more hype there is for Spiderverse, the more Sony, along with every other movie studio, gets the message that using blatantly dangerous amounts of flashing lights is not only acceptable but encouraged. And like I said above, it’s getting more and more difficult to find anything I can watch without risking having a seizure. The consequences of having a seizure can include death. People are sending the message to us and to movie studios, intentionally or not, that our deaths are an acceptable risk for a movie to be slightly cooler to them.
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waterloggedsoliloquy · 6 months
Note
18 & 20 for the ask game. i need to hear how this hypothetical drama would unfold
you picked the GOODIES
18.) what aspect of the story would get you #canceled on twitter?
this is a toughie is the thing. while im not one of those creators thats terrified of being offensive or problematic, i also dont pay that much attention to elements of work that might offend. im more interested in being genuine and trusting my message rather than relishing in having #problematique content.
that being said i think a lot of people would not like that sicely isnt a g*ld st*r lesbian or that lucerne doesnt use labels, bc twitter is really hung up on what characters "really" are or what stories "really" mean.
i think theyd also do that thing where theyd be like ugh look at these children currently in abusive situations why are they not acting 100% perfectly, the author clearly has no idea what theyre doing with portraying abuse, this is just torture porn and fetishizing ptsd/osddid. bc theres no way that the things that happen in CW could ever happen to people, bc abuse happens to other people and never in anything i might have to interact with.
20.) your ocverse just got a movie trilogy a la hunger games style. how have they horribly mangled your message/theme so that the movies are now a showcase of what the original was condemning?
This ones also a toughie actually bc a large part in why the hunger games movies contributed to showcasing what the original work condemned is because the media circus and bloodsports as vapid entertainment were directly being condemned in the original and #Media isnt really a huge part of carousel waltz. i think in order to really turn carousel waltz on its head youd have to be simultaneously very victim-blamey to the children but also prop up the adults as the ones who must "save them", bc children cant do anything on their own and cant be trusted to have legitimate grievances with the adults in their lives. flattening midas into either a villain who never cared about the people he abused or apologizing for him as a well-meaning patriarch who was just led astray and by proxy flattening the abuse into depictions more palatable to the wider consumer audience would do it i think.
but i dont know if it being a movie trilogy would necessarily cause those changes to occur-- movies are visual and sequential like comics but usually have to be 2 hours or less and are overwhelmingly held hostage at the whims of distributors, executive boards, investors, etc. so the influences it would have over carousel waltz would be along those lines. i think that with the time crunch it'd probably be really easy to make the story less subtle, and to have to hammer home points. certain characters necessarily would not have as much screentime and focus in a movie trilogy, which i think WOULD contribute to being an example of what im trying to condemn, and a movie might inadvertently say that some abused children are just collateral damage and we can move past them, some abused children dont have interiority or anything to draw attention to them, some abused children are more important or worth rescuing more. its also very important to me that most of the carousel waltz kids r not white, and that the grownups are, but casting would probably whitewash them or try to make the story colorblind instead of keeping in how midas' abuse takes advantage of his identity of whiteness over them. combine this w the idea that there needs to be adults to save these kids and u get a white savior araceli. if this concept makes you want to gnaw your leg off at the ankle to get the shackle off, that just means youre still human! try to hold onto that feeling.
since magical girl isnt a big genre in the west theyd try to reflavor it as some other thing like superheroes or a dnd party or something. or theyd want to age up the kids so the bad things happen to a more acceptable age group bc the idea that kids might have bad things happen to them is a scary thought so theyd completely miss the point abt it being a story abt child abuse and now its a buncha late teens-early 20s bullshit.
im actually debating how much swearing i want in carousel waltz (it was really hard writing guardians dilemma without zizi swearing) but executives would only let me have one fuck and would not let anthea call anyone a cocksucker :(
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quinnick · 2 years
Note
hi. IT headcanon dump. lets go.
ok so hear me out
eddie had seasonal allergies. eddie also has one of those tiny achu sneezes. so for literally three months a year, he's plagued by richie every time he sneezes.
also idk why but stan looks like someone who would sew. i have no idea why. it might be the projection, BUT I DIGRESS. so when eddie's fanny pack breaks, or richie lost one of his ludacris button ups, or literally anyone needs something, he sews them one. its obviously very shabby, and they pretend they wont wear it, but eventually stan sees them wearing them more and more. no one really acknowledges it, but stan cannot stop smiling whenever he sees them using the things he made them. i dont know where the fuck this came from but its canon now.
one time theyre about to go somewhere important (idk where) and eddie panics like 'oh fuck do i look ok???' so richie pulls out a piece of paper and (horribly) draws eddie. its literally just a stick figure with lines for hair. but richie looks so proud of it so eddie's like 'thanks man'. he keeps the drawing under his bed (he would have hung it on the walls, but he'd have never heard the end of it).
its sort of an unspoken thing that if anyone in the losers club has nightmares, or is feeling lonely, they can show up at any other members house. no questions asked. sometimes they watch a movie, sometimes they have some snacks, and sometimes they just lay in silence, grateful theres someone there.
mike is the undefeated champion of dig dug at the arcade. richie is pissed. (mike: 'i guess its just beginners luck.' richie: *explodes*)
bev likes to chew on mint leaves
billy has a sketchbook where he draws all the members of the losers club. it will never be seen by anyone other than billy.
eddie still says gazebos instead of placebos and nobody ever corrects him
somehow ben always wins at rock paper scissors. no one has ever beat him. no one knows how he does it. hes banned from rock paper scissors now.
richie likes to sing. however. he is horrible at singing. he sings all the time.
bev made flower crowns for everybody before she left for portland. everyone kept them. theyll never admit it.
eddie likes to fold little origami things whenever he's stressed or just needs a break.
so thats all lmao theyre kinda bad but im tired and i dont care.
this will be the first of many IT rambles. you've brought this upon yourself.
THESE ARE NOT BAD !! I am kissing this hcs on the mouth. I love them so much !! Oh my god, Stan sewing is now canon to me and I am blocking and reporting anyone who doesn't believe it (/hj)
Mike being the best at dig dug has me rolling. Richie totally trains for a whole week and finally beats Mike's score just to have Mike beat it effortlessly again when he visits the arcade again. (Wait, I should find this one fanfic I found where Eddie is cracked at video games but lets Richie win because he has a massive crush on him)
Richie and me are once again the same person.
Bill being banned from rock paper scissors is 100/10. Bev making flower crowns had me sobbing. Eddie making origami is so him.
Also, I like the idea that he says Gazbos all the way until someone finally realizes what he is saying when they are all like 45.
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wilsonfanboy · 5 months
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Saw your take. On Amanda!
Don't think it's too hypocritical (both Hoffman and Amanda are two very different characters with similarities so)
Wondering your take on Lawrence???
IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME THIS QUESTION!!!!!!
Ok so I used to just take the whole “lawrence becomes an apprentice” thing at face value, and I like the idea that he’s just fucked up inside don’t get me wrong, but when I thought about who he was as a person more, him becoming an apprentice just didn’t make sense for my interpretation of his character
I mean this is the same lawrence who refused to kill the random twink he was chained to a bathroom with for his WIFE AND KIDS man, why would he suddenly decide “hey the dude who put me in this horrible trap, made me lose my wife and kid, and who technically killed the guy i met in there (see my other posts on why I think kramer is the true person to blame for Adam’s death) actually isn’t so bad because he gave me a replacement foot for the one HE FORCED ME TO CUT OFF”
I mean Lawrence is a smart guy, a kind of moral one too, I didn’t think it made sense
BUT I THINK KRAMER MANIPULATED LAWRENCE THE SAME WAY HE DID WITH AMANDA INTO BEING HIS APPRENTICE!!!! LIKE THINK ABOUT IT
ITS LIKE HE HAS A COMPLETE PERSONALITY SHIFT WHEN COMPARING SAW 2004 TO SAW 3D, AND I KNOW ITS PROBABLY JUST BECAUSE SAW 3D SUCKS, BUT WHEN TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT IN CONTEXT, WHAT WOULD MAKE SENSE???
LAWRENCE HAS NOTHING AT THIS POINT, HE WOULD HAVE TAKEN MONTHS TO HEAL BEFORE EVEN LEAVING BED, WHICH MEANT ADAM WOULD HAVE ALREADY DIED, HIS WIFE AND KID WOULD HAVE THOUGHT HE DIED, AND THE WORLD WOULD MOVE ON WITHOUT HIM
WHO WOULD HE BE ABLE TO TURN TO OTHER THAN JIGSAW???
AND OFC THERES NOT MUCH TO GO OFF OF SINCE HES ONLY IN 2 MOVIES, BUT I JUST THINK WITH THE CONTEXT CLUES MIXED WITH HIS DRASTIC PERSONALITY CHANGE FROM “I COULD NEVER KILL ANYONE” TO POSSIBLY BEING THE ONE WHO MADE BOBBYS TRIAL, OR IF WE’RE GOING PURELY BY PROVEN CANON STUFF, FORCING HOFFMAN TO ROT IN THE BATHROOM THE SAME WAY THE PERSON HE WAS FORCED TO ABANDON DID YEARS AGO DIED?????
I FEEL LIKE SOME SORT OF MENTAL FUCKERY HAPPENED TO MAKE LAWRENCE INTO THE PERSON WE SEE HIM AS IN SAW 3D, AND THATS MY TAKE ON HIM
I LOVE HIM SOSOSO MUCH AND HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT HE GOT
BOTH HIM AND ADAM DESERVED TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER BUT KRAMER JUT HAD TO FUCK THINGS UP BECAUSE HE HATES POOR PEOPLE
ANYWAYS STAY TUNED TO HEAR MY OPINIONS ON HOW KRAMER DEFINITELY HATES POOR PEOPLE DESPITE WHAT THE LATER MOVIES TELL YOU, COMING WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT OR WHEN SOMEONE ASKS ME ABOUT IT
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gikairan · 11 months
Text
Man, there are people actually excited about this stupid Apple Vision thing and just....
why? 🙃
Its literally Google Glass, but worse. It will fail for the same reasons Google Glass never got off the ground. From privacy concerns about the cameras on someones face, to people finding out that staring at a screen SO close to your face is an actually Awful experience.
I've seen people go "Theyre not the same!!!" and like... they are. They really are. They are both designed to do very similar things, except ones got an Apple logo on it. If anything, Apple Vision is worse because its got the form factor of a VR headset. Something already considered bulky and uncomfortable for long-term use. The form factor of VR is one of the major reasons it is likely to remain niche.
I've seen people say "you poo-pooed the iPad and the Watch and now look!" And like... okay i get it. Everyone really did poo-poo on the iPad. But i'd argue the original presentation focused more on "you can do everything on your phone, but on a bigger device!" rather than "hey, heres a smaller, thinner device that will replace your laptop, that runs the apps your phone does". Like, i remember people making fun of it because it was an oversized iPhone. Who wants a giant face-sized device to make phone calls? No-one. And thats why it was ridiculed. And i dont remember people making fun of the Watch, because.... by the point the Watch was released (2015)... the Pebble Smartwatch was already around (Kickstarter was in 2012, release was 2013). It hadn't just done well on crowdfunding, its still in the top 10 highest grossing kickstarters of all time.
These things have proven their use since their release. I really doubt Apple Vision is ever going to justify its use to the normal consumer.
It will absolutely have niche applications, dont get me wrong. The Hololens already exists, but most regular normal people likely didnt know it released. Because its not tech for the general public. The Kinect isn't actually dead- its got its use in some very niche applications, and Microsoft just tried to force the tech into gaming to make it more widespread (probably to justify actually creating it?). There will likely be industries that find AR extremely useful (I keep hearing about surgeons and AR. Though i also think architecture and construction might find a lot of use for this)
In terms of the video Apple showed off, theres very little I can see on it that will actually improve someones life.... Sure you can relive your memories in 3d.... but you've got to wear a bulky pair of ski goggles to record it in the first place. You can relive the memories of your children after the divorce!! .... And you lost that human connection during the actual moment itself, because you obscured the top half of your face for a giant screen. The best "use" i thought was obscuring the view of a busy plane around you. ... Except in reality, obscuring such view would likely be awful.... So the thing only has about 2 hours of battery life and needs to be plugged into an external battery with a wire. Given the bulky nature of the device, thats... really bad. The video showed a woman on a plane watching Everything Everywhere All At Once. The film is 2 hours and 19 minutes long. .... You cannot watch that entire film on a single charge. Then theres the fact we see most of her field of vision obscured by pretty sunset clouds. And the idea of getting rid of a peripheral vision of A Flight sure sounds nice. ... Until you realise how much you rely on that vision during a flight.... For a long flight - you'll need to see when the flight attendants are coming around for drinks, food etc. You'll need to know when people sitting around you might want to get up. Obscuring 100% of your vision is maybe not the best idea? Even for a short flight, obscuring all your vision might cause you to miss important announcements. Or, you know, your neighbour who just wants to pee? Then theres how the movie window is going to work full stop. We see earlier in the video that you can put a window in front of you, and a window to the side that you move your head to look at. Are you going to be able to put windows in a 360 degree circle around your head, and you just spin around in real space to see them all? ... If so, will the movie player stay in one space in "real space", or will it stay in the same place according to the screen? Imagine if a movie player on a small screen in front of your eyes stayed in the same place relative to real space, and every time you adjusted yourself in your seat... you had to physically move the window to see it. And think about how often you do minor changes to how you sit, how your head is positioned etc etc....
Most of the rest of the announcement seems to just be office related stuff. Controlled by hand gestures.
... You know why hand gesture devices have never caught on? People hate using them (: Have you ever used a Kinect before? You'll find your body got tired quite quickly trying to just navigate menus. We dont like holding our hands/ arms up all the time to navigate digital menus. It feels worse than a mouse, a controller, or just tapping a screen. Its just awkward. People will try it for work and then go "wow just using my mouse & keyboard is way easier" and then never put on the stupid goggles again.
All in all, this thing is just... bad. Its not good. It wont catch on. It'll be an extremely niche product that will only every really have a handful of uses. And none of them will be for the general public.
0 notes
fkinavocado · 2 years
Note
omg pls write smthg ab harry eating the reader out then they hear her roomate come in the house and instead of stopping he just gets under the covers and keeps eating her and her roomate comes in and like has a conversation with her and she s trying so hard not to moan while he s just going down on her like theres no tmrw😩😩😩😩
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in which harry carries out eating you out under the blanket when your roommate walks in on you
Recordstore romance- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings 
Recordstore romance/ alternatively, read on wattpad
Insufferable (word count: 1.8k)
“Harry” you scoffed, then felt his chuckle vibrate against your chest. He was resting his head just atop your boobs while you were lying in bed, watching a movie on your laptop. Every so often, he would sneak a hand under your top and start fondling your breasts since you’d forgone wearing a bra.
“Can’t really expect me to just have them under my nose and not wanna play with them, can you?” he mumbled, dragging the pad of his middle finger ever so slightly around one of your nipples
You fidgeted, making the laptop slide off your thighs. He was getting to you “Look what you’ve done!” you sighed audibly
He raised his head slightly then, looking at you all smug “Fuck the movie. Got something a lot more interesting right here” he pinched your nipple then making you gasp and him grin wickedly and you could just kill him for it
“Harry, you’re being insufferable. You know we can’t, here. We’ve been through this before”
“Do I? I don’t remember that I do. Remind me again, why the fuck not?” there was a slight edge to his voice and you realized he really wasn’t just teasing you this time around
“Because” you raised an eyebrow “This is a fucking bunk bed! We’re gonna break it if we even try! Not to mention there’s hardly any room, it’s a single mattress. You can’t even sit up straight without hitting the ceiling—"
“Why would I need to sit up straight?” he interrupted you, contorting his face
“Aaaand” you interrupted him, in turn “The whole reason this is a bunk bed in the first place is because I have a roommate, in case you’ve forgotten? Meriam? The one who sleeps on the bottom bunk?”
“Yeah, and she’s at that Marron 5 concert, isn’t she?”
“Harry, cut it out” you warn but that only makes him hover over you fully, his elbows on each side of you, both his hands now under your top, fondling your breasts
“She’s not gonna be here for another 2 hours at the very least. Would you relax?” his voice was deeper, barely audible over the sound of the movie that you haven’t even paused and would now have to rewind. The laptop had slid off to the side towards the wall, and before you could protest any further, Harry took the hem of your top between his teeth, dragging it over your breasts. You hissed at the cold air hitting your naked upper body, your dorm room was especially chilly this time of year, late in the autumn, when the heating wasn’t on yet for some reason you couldn’t comprehend. That’s why you and Harry had been cocooning under your blanket looking at a movie in the first place.
“Sorry, baby” he brought the blanket further up and over his shoulders “Here, lemme warm you up, hm?” he attached his warm mouth next to one of your hardened buds and you mewled contentedly, suddenly forgetting all about why this had seemed like such a bad idea “Gonna get you all sweaty in no time” he liked at your breasts and you could barely hear him all muffled, what with the blanket over his shoulders and his long hair tenting his face, you were surprised he had any air, but he was a man on a mission. You arched your back when he finally slid his hand down the front of your sweats and palmed your pussy over your panties “It’s working already. You’re burning up” he raised his head to look at you- smirking, of course, to which you rolled your eyes but you ended up throwing your head back entirely when he fingered your panties to the side and started dragging his finger up and down your slit, spreading your wetness
“You’re insufferable, you know that?” you grunted, pushing yourself onto his fingers, your body betraying you
“Yeah, you’ve mentioned it. You hate my fucking guts, I can tell” he then smacked your pussy sharply using the tips of his fingers and you jumped at the impact, enabling him to drag your sweats down your legs along with your panties and kicking them to the edge of the bed somewhere under the blanket.
He hit his head to the ceiling when he sat back on his knees to help you undress, though. “You deserved that” you giggled and he narrowed his eyes at you
“Oh, I’ll show you what you deserve, then”
God knows how many eternities later in, and you were a sweaty mess. Harry had made good on his promise. He’d been edging you for God knows how long, eating you out and fingering you to the brink of orgasm only to then chuckle at your needy whimpers as he kissed you and played with your breasts enough to have you come down a bit. He would then resume his attentions to your cunt and you just didn’t know if you hated or loved him for it.
“Harry” you moaned “Please. I can’t take it anymore. Please…”
“I love it when you beg” he groaned against your pussy and you moaned a bit louder than you’d intended at the vibrations that had caused. He was the one that kept having to remind you now that you were at your dorm. Oh, how the tables had turned.
Just before you were about to make a sassy remark that would’ve probably earned you a few more rounds of him edging you, you heard quick footsteps to your door accompanied by the unmistakable voice of your roommate.
There wasn’t much time to do anything about it, so you simply pushed your top down and grabbed the blanket that had been long ago thrown to the side, covering yourself up, along with Harry, thankful that the movie was still ongoing this whole time.
“Yeah. No, I know! You told me. Hey, listen, I just got back to the dorm, text you in a bit” Meriam hung up her phone and threw it on her desk “Shit, Y/N. Would it kill you to open up a window from time to time? I know you’re always cold, but Jesus! It’s like a sauna in here!”
You glanced at your roommate over the railing of your top bunk, hoping upon hope that the angle did a good job of hiding the big lump under your blanket
“Sorry. Hey, but weren’t you supposed to be at the concert? Is it over already?”
“Get this! The two numbskulls I was going with bought the tickets from God knows where and when we got to the venue, turns out they were fake! Fucking Naomi and Connie, man…”
You could hear Harry feign a gasp from under the blanket, parroting your roommate “Naomi and Connie…”
You pushed your hand under the blanket and found his hair, tugging harshly at it, eliciting a wince from him. You cleared your throat, hoping Meriam hadn’t heard any of that “Shit, that blows. I’m sorry. I know you were looking forward to it”
Your roommate scoffed “I dunno why I let them handle the tickets, it’s my fault, really. Like when have they even done a thing right. Never, I swear to God if I—"
You yelped, interrupting her when Harry’s finger plunged right back into you, followed closely by his lips sucking intently on your clit. You’d already been on the brink of your orgasm several times, and you were incredibly sensitive. And he was now, finally working you exactly the way he knew you liked it, hitting your g-spot perfectly and sucking your clit using just the right amount of pressure
“Are you alright?”
“Huh? Why?”
“You sound a bit nasal. And you look kinda sweaty, maybe you’re coming down with something. Your eyes are glazed over. Want me to go make you a cuppa?”
“Ohhhh. Oh, my God. Yes! Please!” you sighed, probably sounding a bit overly enthusiastic to Meriam, who had only offered to make you some tea “Uhmm… That sounds… Amazing”
She giggled “Ok, weirdo. You could’ve asked. Just don’t get me sick, I’m still gonna try and get tickets for the day after tomorrow, but guess who’s not invited this time around! Hey maybe you can come too, if you’re feeling better?”
“Mmmhm. Gonna come!” you squealed, your voice strained. Harry was relentless, even though you definitely pulled on his hair hard enough for it to hurt, it appeared that he wasn’t stopping until you saw stars
“Think you might have a fever” she laughed “Ok, ok, I’ll be right back with that tea”
Just in time with Meriam closing the door to your shared dorm room behind her, you finally came- so violently that you thought for a brief second that you might both end up on the other side of that top bunk. He milked every last twitch out of your body before throwing the blanket off of him and gasping for air, his sweaty hair glued to his face, panting heavily.
He barely got in a lungful of air before you had to cover him right back up, your roommate kicking the door open unexpectedly “Forgot to close the window, don’t want you catching pneumonia on top of that cold”. She then made her way back to the door “You look like you’re about to pass out. Should I be worried?”
You shook your head in slow motion, with what little energy you had left after that mind blowing orgasm. She made for the door and stopped for a second, just as she was about to leave again, as if to turn around and say something else, but ultimately decided to leave anyway.
You sighed heavily and Harry emerged once more from under the blanket. He looked as though he’d just ran a marathon. You couldn’t help but breathe out a faint laughter “You deserved that, too”
He exhaled audibly as he made quick work of jumping off the bed “Oh yeah? Lemme know how you explained these to Meriam. There’s no chance she didn’t spot them” he flashed his trademark devilish grin at you as your eyes widened, watching him get his Chelsea boots on as well as his fedora he’d carelessly tossed by the door when he’d gotten there “Enjoy your tea, darling. She’ll be serving it to this whole campus. Bet Naomi and Connie are already in the loop” and with a final wink, he was out the door leaving you half naked and burning up even more than before.
Property of Harry Edward Styles
A/N:
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💕 like & reblog if you enjoyed this, lovelies, and most importantly, please come share your thoughts on it here 💌
🦋follow me on wattpad to get notified whenever i post something new/update!🦋
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spicy-tomato · 3 years
Note
Can i pls req dream being reader's sugar daddy :O - 🌼
sorry this took a hot sec ive been working on this one for a while cause i really liked the idea, so here you go :)) it ended up being like 2k words so im sorry
You had it all, anything you could want and more. Wanted to go to rome? Done, your plane leaves tomorrow. Dream absolutely spoiled you and you couldnt be more happy about it. It started off as a thing to help you with rent, but the longer you did it the more you enjoyed being able to get what you wanted when you wanted. Today was your weekly lunch with dream, you had both agreed that at least once a week he would take time off to get lunch with you, it made you smile to see him take time for you. As the tease you were, you decided to wear something a little revealing to tease him since he had cancelled your shopping trip with him the day before. You put on a low cut crop top and some shorts that show a little too much before fixing your hair. You hear you phone ding, getting a text from dream,
Daddy dream <3
Hey baby, i'm out front whenever youre ready to go
You smile and put your phone in your pocket before walking out to his car and getting in. you kiss his cheek quickly “hi daddy” you giggle and smile at him
“Hi sweetheart” he looks you up and down before smirking “like the outfit, all for me?” you giggle and nod before he starts to drive to the restaurant, one hand on your thigh. “Do you know what you want? You know the rule, anything you want no matter the price. And after that we can go shopping to make up for my cancelling yesterday.” you smile at him
“I know, and we dont have to dream, we can just hang out. Its been a while since we did that. Maybe we can go somewhere for you to make it up to me instead” he smiles and squeezes your thigh as he pulls into the parking lot of the restaurant.
“Anywhere you want baby, only the best for you.” you look down and blush, moving over to lean your head on his shoulder as he moves a hand to pet your hair. “Ill take you anywhere anytime and get you anything you want.” you cant lie, at times you had thought about being more than just his sugar baby, having a real romantic relationship, but he was always so busy that it made it seem almost impossible. Sure he took time out to be with you but it was never a lot unless you were traveling. He didnt tell you a lot about his job either, just knew that he had a large following and that he didnt want anything serious and put his partner in a bad situation, but damn if you havent thought about him coming home to you and calling you his.
“Baby? You okay? You zoned out.” he waves a hand in front of your face and you blink back to reality.
“Yeah, sorry i just got a little distracted. Lets go get some food!” you pull away from him and he gets out, walking around to open your door for you and holds a hand out to help you. “Thank you” you smile and take his hand as you step out, he closes the door behind you and puts an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side as you both walk up to get a table. You get seated immediately and he pulls your chair out for you. “Is there a single flaw with you?” you ask genuinely, he just laughs and shakes his head.
“Theres a bunch you dont know about me, sweetheart.” you roll your eyes as the waitress comes back with your mimosa and his water, asking for your orders. He orders for you and him before she walks off to put them in. He always knows what you want and orders it for you. It makes you smile that he likes to take care of you. You shake that thought away and go back to mindlessly talking with him, waiting on the food. It comes shortly and you both start to eat. “Where do you want to go? Japan? Italy? Oh we havent been to paris in a while, maybe there.”
“I think paris would be great, its always so pretty this time of year, maybe we can have dinner on the eiffel tower again!” your eyes light up at the thought of going back to paris. Last time you went was last spring, you both walked around and had the most wonderful time people watching and shopping. You take another bite and he looks like hes about to say something before he stops himself and looks down. “What is it? Is something wrong?” you look at him concerned, scared you messed something up.
“Its nothing darling, dont worry.” you both finish up lunch and he pays before helping you up and leading you back to the car. “I have something id like to ask you when we get to paris if thats okay, its nothing bad i promise its just something ive been meaning to ask for a while is all.” you nod as he opens the door for you and helps you in. “now, a pretty girl like you needs pretty new clothes for the trip, lets go get you some.” he smiles at you as he gets in, resting a hand back on your thigh as he starts the car, leading you both to the mall.
You spend hours in there going to different stores and trying things on, him getting you whatever you wanted without any hesitation. You walk back to the car with armfulls of bags and a couple new suitcases. “Thank you so much daddy, youre the best.” you kiss his cheek and he turns a little red.
“Its no problem baby, why dont you stay over tonight and we can leave in the morning to head to the airport. I can help you pack and we can watch a movie.” you smiles and nod, putting your bags in the back of the car and your new suitcases in the trunk.
“Id like that…” you think for a second about how nice it would be to wake up next to him every day and how nice it is to fall asleep next to him when it happens, even if when you did wake up after he wasnt next to you. The cold bed always made you remember that you would never be more than this, not that this was bad in the least its just sometimes you wish you could be more. He drives you both back to his apartment building and helps you out, grabbing most of your bags, only leaving you to grab the suitcases as you enter the building. He lived on the top floor in the penthouse, expected for how much money he had. You set your stuff down in his room, your new clothes already laid out nicely thanks to him. He walks up behind you and hugs you from behind.
“Youll look so good in all of those baby, gonna be the prettiest one in paris.” he kisses your neck softly before pulling away and taking your hand, leading you to sit on the part of the bed not covered by clothes. “Let me go run you a bath and you can pick out a movie.” you nod and he walks to the bathroom, leaving you alone on the bed. You turn on the tv and start scrolling through netflix looking for a movie, finally deciding as he walks back in and picks you up. You giggle and wrap your arms around his neck, moving your head to rest on his chest as he carries you to the bathroom. He sets you on the counter and takes your shirt off carefully, leaving kisses down your neck and chest and he moves down to take your shorts off. You lift yourself gently to help him take your shorts off. He takes them off quickly before nipping and kissing your inner thighs, ghosting over your core. You whine and try to move closer to him before he presses your hips down into the counter.
“Stay still baby, dont wanna have to punish you. Daddy just wants his desert.” you nod quickly and stay still, his head diving to softly kiss your clit, causing you to whine. He chuckles and starts to slowly eat you out, almost at a teasing pace. You whine and grip the counter, trying to keep from pulling his hair. He pulls away and smiles, “good girl, being so good and not pulling my hair. Just letting daddy eat you up.” after he says that his hands move down to your thighs open as he starts to eat you out like a man starved. You let out a loud moan and throw your head back, your hands moving to his hair and tugging closer. At this point he didnt care about you pulling his hair, to blissed out by hearing your sweet moans and tasting you. Your cries became louder as he dragged you closer to the edge. as you were almost there he stopped, causing a loud whine from you as he moves up to face you. He looked like heaven like this, face covered in your slick with eyes dark from lust.
“Now my good little girl, i want you to get off the counter and bend over for daddy.” you quickly move off the counter and do as your told. “Such a perfect little girl, i want you to watch as i make you feel good, got it? You look away and i stop,” he chuckles and grabs your neck after you nod. His hand moves from your neck to your hair to hold you in place, making eye contact with him through the mirror.
“Such a precious little pet for me, arent you?” you whine as he lines up with your entrance, teasing you, causing you to press your hips back against him. He smacks your ass roughly and pulls you against his chest by your hair. “Thats not very nice bun, its almost like you want me to leave you all worked up.’’ he smirks at you before pulling you roughly back against him, ripping a scream from your throat. He sets a brutal pace, leaving no time for you to adjust to him. He keeps the pace, your legs starting to shake as he brings you back to the edge of your orgasm before quickly throwing you over it. You let out a cry of his name, trails of tears starting to run from your eyes as he keeps going.
“Pretty little bunny, always so good and tight for me. Gonna breed you so good. Fuck you until i know it takes.” he tugs your hair roughly and starts to bite and suck at your neck, leaving marks in his wake. You whine and cry, moving your hands to tug at his hair. “So close princess, gonna fill you up so good.” he moves a hand to your clit to punctuate his statement, causing a louder cry to come from you as you tip over the edge once again. His hips start to stutter as he fills you up, riding out his high with shallow thrusts letting out a few more quiet moans before pulling out of you carefully. You whine and tug at his hair as he does so. He picks you up carefully as he pulls away.
“i figured we could take a bath and then cuddle before we pack and figure out what time we should leave for the airport.” you nod and he carries you carefully over to the tub, setting you down carefully in it before getting and sitting behind you. He starts to wash your hair as you slowly drift off to sleep. You wake up briefly as he lifts you from the tub and carries you to the bed. He moves the blankets back and sets you down gently before crawling in next to you , pulling the blankets back over you.
“Be my partner,” he says as you turn towards him
“Only if we can still go to paris” you giggle and he nods, kissing the top of your head before you both drift off.
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moonlit-imagines · 3 years
Text
Headcanons for being a feral Avenger
Avengers x reader
warnings: guns and death mention (but no one dies dw)
a/n: s/o to @emcon-imagines for the idea since we needed smth OPPOSITE of the norm. also i find it really funny that i got a request for a feral xmen hc while i was writing this
prompt:
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you were just.....too much for the team to handle
and that was saying something considering you were THE AVENGERS
“guys, guys, guys, oh my god, look what matt damon just posted” -you
“since when do you care about matt damon?” -literally any avenger
“i dont” -you
absolutely no idea when to quit
so there’s never a dull moment
“who is screaming ‘i fucking knew it?’ some of us are trying to work” -tony
“i think you know” -nat
“follow up question: why?” -tony
“i believe they are watching ‘the mandalorian’” -wanda
“WITHOUT ME??? SON OF A—” -tony
not being allowed to have coffee
or really any kind of caffine but
“sowhatimtryingtosayisshieldwasconnectedtohydraandhydraisdefinitelyconnectedtotheilluminatisowereweapartoftheilluminati?” -you
“...vis? did you give y/n coffee?” -wanda
“i wasn’t aware that it had this effect on them” -vision
accidentally punching a hole in the wall
putting a picture of the team over it
“oh, that’s nice...oh, nevermind” -sam
yes, you announce yourself every time you enter the room
*arms raised* “hello all, it is i, your favorite avenger” -you
“actually my favorite avenger is natasha” -clint
“okay, then it is i, that bitch” -you
“im going to duct tape your mouth shut” -tony
fun fact tony cracked peter’s formula for web fluids just so he could web your mouth shut
*mmph. mmmmph. MMMMMMPH* -you
“ah, finally. peace and quiet” -tony
being found asleep (or just lying down) in some odd positions and locations
the quinjet, on the helipad, in natasha’s room, on the kitchen floor, under the couch cushions, and more
*finding you lying on the kitchen floor* “you alive down there?” -tony *nudging you w his foot*
“hnnnnnn” -you
“cool” -tony
steve has tackled you on the battlefield several times. why, you ask?
“dont go chasin’ waterfalllls stick to the rivers and the lakes that youre used toooo...erbaneanananeeneedododoo...” -you
“y/n, watch out!” -steve
you can put the rest together
also just being the worst on the comms
“clint u gotta pull ur pants up” “work it, wanda!!!” “anyone else smell hamburgers?? hey peter, why don’t you get me a combo?” “look guys! i got one of their weapons! wonder how it works—NEVERMIND” “woah, holy shit, nat. can you teach me how to do that???” -all you, babey
“i don’t remember hitting ‘play’ on the director’s commentary of this mission” -natasha (courtesy of the brilliant @emcon-imagines)
“tony?” -rhodey
“yep, turning off their comms now. they’ll manage without us” -tony
“you’re the genius, why don’t you develop a real-life mute button for them?” -rhodey
“yeah, let me just turn y/n into a cyborg first. thanks for the input” -tony, sarcastically
meanwhile...
“GUYS??? GUYS???? ARE YOU ALL DEAD??? IM THE ONLY ONE LEFT???? this is not how i imagined this happening. maybe i can get a bigger room at the compound. hmph.” -you
whipping a random ass chain around??? where did you get that???
flagging down rhodey
*lands* “what?” -rhodey
“did everyone die?” -you
“no” -rhodey
“why cant i hear them on comms?” -you
“see you later” -rhodey, flying away
sleepless nights tbh
why? why. whywhywhywhy why
was it nightmares? was it hunger? straight up restlessness? wouldnt you like to know
“do i smell popcorn?” -nat to wanda in the dead of night
you had two ENTIRE boxes of popcorn bags out on the counter
“maybe you should just knock them the fuck out, wanda” -natasha (also a product of @emcon-imagines’ genius)
“no!!! movie night!!!” -you, moments before falling into nat’s arms
ur not only feral.....ur also a good friend
“y/n, i really need your help” -peter
“shoot. wait—is it illegal? i’ll do it if it’s illegal” -you
“?? no, no, i just need you to schedule my dentist appointment. my aunt says she won’t do it for me anymore” -peter
*gasp* “can i make up my own character??” -you
you were actually a fan favorite
at times
*in front of news cameras* “hey cool fact about captain america: he can lift his legs behind his head”
social media legend
wintersoldierthirstpage: “can you tell us if bucky’s metal arm vibrates”
y/n_l/n: “can neither confirm nor deny. yes.”
you had a tiktok that was half trends/dances and half memeing serious situations
*pointing camera at secretary ross* “dude’s really trying to take away our rights and shit” *phone smacked out of hand by rhodey*
*all the avengers arguing with “say so” being played over it*
walking into the room covered in string lights
burning ur cookies!!!!
taking clints bow and arrows for “practice”
bad decisions all around
“oh no” -you, rushing out of your room
“what? what’s ‘oh no’” -sam
“my toilet is on fire” -you
“are—are you joking?” -sam
“where’s the fire extinguisher.” -you, VERY CALM
“y/n???? Y/N???? WHY ARENT THE ALARMS GOING OFF?? THE SPRINKLERS?? THERES SMOKE COMING OUT OF YOUR ROOM” -sam
“fire alarms are a myth” -you
“NO??????”
they act like they cant stand you but deep down, you make their lives sm more interesting and they don’t know what they’d do without you. there isn’t always someone trying to achieve world domination.
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisqueer // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @spideyandtheboys // @ghost-bich //
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whoree321 · 3 years
Text
the bad batch + what romance/rom com movies they watch with you
each of the bad batch x gn!reader
ok first and foremost i really truly believe to the pits of my soul that every single one of these fuckos loves romances and you cannot under any circumstances change my mind
ALSO it’s a gender neutral reader except kinda in echo’s theres like a very brief quote regarding breasts but like i still think even that is pretty gender neutral tbh
so anyway
Hunter: Pretty Woman
this is not the first time that i have publicly declared that i think hunter has a deep rooted connection to the movie pretty woman and it will not be the last
first of all this movie is incredibly soothing to hunters overwhelming savior complex
second of all hunter is literally richard gere (debonaire but emotionally distant gentleman that learns to love) and julia roberts (hooker with a heart of gold) at the same time
he was a little skeptical the first time you put it on but he instantly fell in love with it
the humor, the sensuality, the class divide, the glamour, the unconventional cinderella story of it all. it just really butters his bread
after the first time, when you suggest watching a movie and you pick this one he’ll act very aloof about it (“whatever you want cyar’ika, it doesn’t matter to me”) but secretly he’s really really happy bc it’s one of his favorites (you def know this and def pick it more often)
he absolutely hates the scene when stucky the lawyer hits vivian. like it doesn’t matter how many times he watches it he will fully turn his head away from the screen and say “I don’t like this part” and when it’s over he nuzzles a little closer into you and very tenderly kisses your forehead
he loves the soundtrack too. like he fully exposes how much he likes the movie when you catch him singing or humming “pretty woman” or “it must have been love” absently to himself (you kept it to yourself for a while but eventually you just had to tease him about it. he just smiled a little sheepishly and admitted he liked the songs before promptly changing the subject)
hunter also lowkey definitely wants to recreate the ending where richard gere shows up to her apartment in the white limo with you bc he thinks it’s such a sweet gesture and he wants to treat you like royalty
Crosshair: 10 Things I Hate About You
if there’s one thing about crosshair it’s that he’s a sucker for the enemies to lovers genre
maybe its just him projecting (spoiler alert it most certainly is) but he really enjoys watching the drama conflama of a miserable bastard be tricked into love
and really that’s the true essence of 10 Things I Hate About You
he will grumble and bitch and moan about not wanting to watch a ‘chick flick’ when you put it on, but 15 minutes in and he’s hooked
he has strong negative opinions on literally every single character except for kat and patrick
(crosshair really really wants to think he’s patrick but when it comes down to it he is katarina stratford in every single possible way)
he doesn’t say a word throughout the entire movie but you can tell when he’s annoyed at like bianca or cameron or joey bc he will openly scoff at them
will absolutely hum along in your ear during the “can’t take my eyes off you” scene and make out with you during the paintball scene
(seriously he wants to be patrick verona so bad)
when it’s over and you ask him what he thought he’ll roll his eyes and say “i guess it could have been worse” but his little smirk let’s you know he enjoyed it a lot more than he’s willing to admit
Tech: 50 Shades of Grey
ok hear me out on this one
tech is a huge movie talker. like subtitles are a non-negotiable if you wanna be able to take in any of the movies dialogue bc tech is most likely gonna make commentary over it the whole time
this makes him absolutely indescribably so much fun to watch bad/corny movies with
he will go off about EVERYTHING. the plot, the dialogue, the acting, the costuming, the music, the production quality. nothing and no one is safe. whether you just enjoy letting him talk at you or you join in on the roast, cheesy movies are a hoot between you two
and honey. 50 shades is one of THE cheesiest movies ever
you and tech will literally spend the entire duration of the movie tearing it to shreds
and the thing is tech is a very sarcastic, funny guy when he wants to be (and when it comes to you he definitely wants to be) so by the end of it he will have you in absolute stitches from laughing at the ridiculousness of both the movie and him
with any of the other batchers watching a movie like this either turns into a shy, slightly awkward experience (wrecker, echo) or an incorrigibly horny experience (crosshair, hunter)
but in this context tech literally has no shame or squeamishness about sexual things (why should he it’s a natural biological process?) so to yall the sex stuff is just another thing to roast
literally christian grey could be fully tying dakota johnson down and flogging her and tech will be like “in the last 3 minutes they have panned up to her nipples 4 times. this is criminally shoddy cinematography”
even tho he’s busy giving a detailed play by play critique, he never fails to keep some sort of physical contact with you (wrapping an arm around you and running his hand up and down your skin, playing with your fingers or your hair) so you know he’s enjoying spending this time with you despite his nasty words about the movie
also 1000% after you watch it tech will do extensive research on the ins and outs of bdsm and will have lots of hypotheses he wants to test out (as long as you’re willing and able ofc) ;)))
Wrecker: 13 Going On 30
of all the bad batch members, wrecker is the only one who unabashedly loves any movie that could be considered a chick flick
like he doesn’t even try to hide it or act like he’s too masculine for it. he loves romance and he’s proud of it
this man will have full marathons with you. rom coms, regular roms, tragic roms, hallmark roms, you name it and he’s game
his absolute favorite tho is 13 Going On 30
i feel like he has a huge soft spot for childhood best friends to lovers stories like he finds that type of lifelong partnership so endearing (and he loves to live vicariously through jenna since that type of romance was obviously never an option for him)
wrecker is also very childlike at heart and i think the idea of a 13 year old sweetheart trapped inside the body of a 30 year old cut throat magazine exec is so amusing to him (and maybe makes him feel just a little bit represented in the media)
he is definitely the type to completely engulf you in a cuddle for the entirety of the movie and he DEFINITELY cries into your shoulder at matty’s wedding when jenna is crying on the stoop with her dream house
he wants to try razzles so bad. like so bad. i think if he ever came across them somewhere he would barter at least one of his brothers for them
wrecker really just loves love and watching movies about it just reminds him of how lucky he is to have his own love story with you <3
Echo: The Princess Bride
i feel like it’s glaringly obvious why echo loves this movie
pirates. sword fighting. decades long revenge plots. the value of an honorable, loyal man. true love that never wavers even in the face of devastating tragedy and the darkest of hardships. clever but goofy humor.
echo considers this an action/adventure movie and NOT a romance movie (even tho it 100% totally is a romance movie) and requests to watch it very frequently
he can quote the whole thing. i’m seriously telling you echo loves the princess bride with his whole chest
even tho he refuses to admit it’s a love story above all else, he really does try to model himself in your relationship after wesley
like especially given what happened at the citadel and all the time you thought he was dead, the cinematic parellels are alive and present in y’alls relationship and he strives to be even half the man to you that wesley is to buttercup
literally in your day to day life he will sometimes respond to your requests with a smooth “as you wish ;)” (it doesn’t matter how many times he does it it still gives you butterflies)
when you watch the movie, he snuggles as close to you as possible and does his best to make youre comfy the whole time (he’s insecure about his prosthetics hurting you no matter how much you reassure him they don’t)
he just loves to be able to feel your heartbeat and your laugh when you giggle at the funny bits
every single time without fail at the part when buttercup is about to stab herself he leans down, ghosts his lips against the shell of your ear, and whispers the line in time with wesley: “there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours”
every single time without fail you wind up making out until he pulls away and tells you to watch the next part when wesley challenges humperdinck to a duel to the pain
echo just loves you to bits and wants you to know he’d endure a thousand fire swamps for you
Omega: Clueless
i have this really specific obsession with omega being a total girly girl and having very traditionally feminine interests as she keeps experiencing the universe and being exposed to a spectrum of gender expression beyond clone (masc and boring) and kaminoan (ugly)
so with that headcanon of her in mind, it’s vital to me that she sees clueless as soon as possible
clueless is an essential piece of media for a girl entering adolescence and i will die on this hill
it has literally everything you want and everything you need to develop into a well-rounded young woman
it’s so deliciously 90s and glamorama and valley girl humor and camp. its got meaningful female friendships and valuable life lessons and paul mf rudd
if there’s one thing you should encourage a burgeoning hetero teen girl to do, it’s to stick to dating guys like paul rudd in clueless. the earlier this message can be broadcast the better
the second you’re able to steal omega away from hunters watchful eyes (“hunter we’re just gonna watch finding nemo i swear!”) you show her this movie
at this point omega is not really a girly girl, but omega also has absolutely zero feminine influence in her life
the first time she sees clueless she is absolutely obsessed. like seriously she is so enamoured with the glitz and glam of cher horowitz
she asks you questions the entire time. she wants to know about EVERYTHING. the makeup, the clothes, the hair, the slang
(she definitely goes around saying stuff like “i’m totally bugging” for long enough afterwards that almost all of the boys have slipped up at least once with some ridiculous valley girl slang. you thought you were gonna die of laughter when you overheard tech say “as if!” to wrecker in the middle of an argument)
it just really introduces her to this whole world of femininity that she didn’t even know existed and she absolutely loves it
she makes you watch clueless with her seriously once a week at minimum. she begs you to style her hair like tai’s and you can’t help yourself when you happen to run across a little yellow plaid dress and buy it for her on sight
(hunter was gonna scold you for recklessly spending credits until he saw how omega almost cried from how happy she was for the gift)
honestly she enjoys the romance of it all and paul rudd is def her first celebrity crush but she enjoys more that you and her now have this special thing of hair and nails and pretty dresses
she loves how confident and beautiful and special you’re able to make her feel, and you love that you get to bring her that small sense of normalcy and happiness
221 notes · View notes
ange1s · 3 years
Text
cherry emoji - mark lee
synopsis: in which mark asks to see your boobs, and the idea you had of your relationship is thrown up in the air.
wc: 3.6k
genre: this is so fluffy it hurts, some angst but nothing crazy
tw: suggestive themes (boobs), swearing
playlist: pluto projector by rex orange county, ivy by frank ocean, tapestry by bruno major
a/n: guess whos back ,, back again ,,, ange1s back ,,, tell a friend,,,, also this is unedited so i'm sorry if theres a mistake :')
my anon asks are open !! feel free to ask me anything or request something <3
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“i have a weird question.” mark says timidly. you’re sat on the floor, your back against his bed playing a rhythm game on your phone. he is sat at his desk, parallel to his bed, but with the rolling chair swivelled around to face you straight ahead. you don’t look up.
“hmm.” you hum, focused on the game.
mark swallows. “can i see your boobs?”
you drop your phone into your lap, forgetting about the game. you look up at him, straight into his eyes, and you giggle.
“wait, what?”
mark avoids your eyes almost fearfully, as if you were a detective questioning him for a crime. “can i see your boobs?” softer, this time.
you let out a shallow laugh. “don’t you watch porn? there are boobs there.”
mark blushes. “no! i mean, yes i do, but not real boobs.”
you cross your arms under your boobs on purpose, just to push them up a little higher to drive him nuts. mark sits back in his chair in frustration.
“so you think women aren’t real? that all boobs in porn are fake? jeez mark i thought you cared about women-“
“no! that’s not what i meant!” he says, exasperated. he continues to avoid eye contact with you. “of course i don’t think-“
you laugh again, keeling over. “relax mark, i know you don’t think all women are plastic.”
“look, there’s nothing wrong with being plastic, women can do whatever they-“ mark speaks quickly and nervously as if he were on trial.
“shut up minhyung,” you cut him off with a softer, more serious tone. “why do you want to see my boobs? you’re famous and cute. you could instantly find boobs wherever you go.”
he chuckles. “the word boob is so funny.”
“not the point, minhyung!”
he leans back over, the embarrassment slowly washing away. “stop calling me minhyung!”
“never, minhyung!” you retort without even thinking. you stand up to sit on his bed, now at eye level with him. “now, explain.”
“i… i dunno. i’ve just never seen boobs before. like, in person.”
you look directly at him, brain not even thinking anymore. words just fly out of your mouth with ease. “were you breastfed?”
“y/n!” he exclaims out of frustration. the embarrassment fizzles back in. he throws his head to the back of his chair and covers his eyes with his palm dramatically. he runs his hand down his face, tugging on the soft skin as it travels down. as his hand makes it back down to his lap, you giggle a little louder. “my mom’s boobs don’t fucking count. god, you made me think of my mom’s boobs. what the fuck?”
“sorry,” you manage in between giggles. “sorry, this is so funny.”
“this is impossible. i knew i shouldn’t have asked you.” mark pulls himself out of the chair and heads for the door, but you’re just as fast as him.
“now wait…” you grab his wrist to keep him from leaving. a wave of guilt washes over you. “i was just kidding.”
“were you? you didn’t sound like you were.” he says, his face still turned away from yours.
he sounds strangely hurt. “mark, are you okay?”
mark turns to face you and he looks defeated. he slumps down on the floor next to you, his knees up near his chest and his head in his hands.
“mark…”
“they were making fun of me.”
“who?”
“my friends! they were making fun of me. god, i sound like such an idiot now, whining about my friends like this, oh my god. i sound like a child.”
you rest your elbow on his shoulder giving your hand access to run through his soft, black hair. “you don’t sound like a child. you’re allowed to get upset.”
you take note at how the air shifted in the room. how quickly you focused and listened. you’re only like this around mark. with him, conversations can shift in an instant to anything. you understand each other on a deep, personal level. it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever have with another person for your entire life. maybe your soulmate. honestly? you can only dream to have this sort of connection with your soulmate, a connection so alive and so full of trust. is it even possible to have this with someone else? the fact that mark can make you think about how much he trusts you during a conversation about boobs is something only mark can make you feel. no one else. just him.
has it always been just him?
“it’s so stupid though. one minute lucas is bugging me about the fact that i’m a virgin and i’ve never seen boobs before and the next minute i’m on the floor of my bedroom with you, still not having seen any boobs mind you, nearly crying. damn. this is the lowest point i will ever reach.”
you push his hands away from his face and place your hands on his cheeks instead. “mark, please don’t cry. i hate it when you cry.”
the last time you saw mark cry was a month ago after watching a disney movie. seeing him cry just makes you cry, and since you were already crying, you just cried harder. seeing you cry makes him cry too, so he cried harder as well. the two of you just cried together until your heads hurt, to which you both took tylenols and tried to dance it off.
“i’m pathetic. insecure and pathetic.”
this is when you realize that there is more depth to his feelings than you thought.
“look, mark, i’ll show you my boobs. i trust you. i’m honestly surprised you haven’t seen them accidentally yet since i’ve known you for so long.” you chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. didn‘t work. “but i get the feeling that there’s more to this then just boobs.”
mark never really vented to you like this before. despite how close you are, he still kept things from you growing up, as a teenage boy does. you never took offense to this, as you kept plenty from him too. he never quite talked about his insecurities, his fears. he didn’t want to burden you with them. mark, so sweet and thoughtful. maybe too much for his own good. he needs to learn to share things.
he's starting to, though.
it takes him a while to speak, avoiding your eyes entirely. he speaks lowly, as if he was scared to tell the world what he was about to say.
“it’s just… everything about this sucks. everything. i’m kinda scared to tell you things, which can make us drift apart because we lose trust. then again, if i do tell you things, i’m scared it’ll freak you out and i’ll lose you. those are both bad endings. then, i’m scared to put myself out into the world. like, lucas is telling me to just find someone. go out, ask for a number, have a good time, live like someone in their 20s should be living. i can’t really do it though. every time i try, i choke. lucas once tried to set me up, you remember that, right?”
“yeah, that was the girl who stood you up.”
“yeah. it’s awful. every time i try it fails. i’ve been trying to get to the bottom of why it fails every single time but i just couldn’t. but then, i realized.” he shifts and faces you causing your hands to fall off his face and into your lap. “when i came home after being stood up, i wasn’t sad. i forgot the moment i left the restaurant. i texted lucas that the date didn’t happen and just shut my phone off and went to your place. i wasn’t sad because i knew i had you. i knew that you were going to make me feel better and that made it all go away.” he pauses. “you know? sometimes i get worried that i put too much on you. you’re my happiness, my relaxation, my joy. i worry sometimes that you’ll suffocate because i take so much from being with you. i keep this in the back of my head all the time because i just don’t want you to go. ever.”
holy shit.
“mark…”
“let me finish. i talked about this with lucas, and he told me that i can let myself be selfish sometimes. he said that i can want this that… that i can want you. i can think about you and how you make me happy and i can want that happiness yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and the day after. shit, i care about you more than anything. my heart swells and my stomach gets all these annoying little butterflies when i think of you. it’s fucking crazy. and now, today, here i am. you know, lucas, jaemin and i were talking about girls and boobs and fuck i don’t know, jaemin said that i just had to get that intimacy with someone. and it just fucking clicked. the only person i want to be intimate with is you and i’m thinking now that maybe i was stupid for asking to see your boobs. which is so stupid, i could’ve just asked to kiss you or share a bed with you or i don’t know. i’m really sorry if that was gross of me. i just wasn’t thinking. it’s so damn hard to think straight when it comes to you. i just really want to be closer to you, however that might be.”
your heart races at a speed that doctors would deem impossible. you don’t know what to think or where to look. you feel like you’re going to explode. though, if you explode, he’ll probably explode too. that wouldn’t be good.
mark looks down. he fills with regret. he doesn’t think he should've said that. maybe you'll hate him now. maybe you’ve never felt this way about him before.
you inhale slowly, trying to convince your lungs that breathing is normal and not something that can just stop when hearing speeches like this.
what is the proper thing to say? mark i love you? but do you love him? everything is so confusing right now. of course you love him, but you never considered love in this way. can i kiss you? too forward? but he wants intimacy, and you want it too. i feel the same way? boring. you can do better. mark, and his way with words. so beautiful. how do you compete? mark, you’re beautiful. mark is so beautiful. you try so hard to compose the words. maybe too hard. maybe it’s okay to go with option 3.
now, they just flow out. “mark… i think i feel the same way you do. i don’t know it’s just- i’ve always felt some sort of way toward you. something is so special about you. i spent years trying to decipher it, thinking it was just something platonic or brotherly or i dunno. i just never considered… this. i don’t even know what to call this. but it feels right. you’ve always felt right.”
he has. and he always will. he looks at you so lovingly, his enamoured gaze stuck on you. you can’t look up at him, but he watches you.
you continue. “fuck, i don’t know what to say. i’m so… god.” you run your fingers through your hair, as if to comb your brain in search for the right words. “i think you’re so beautiful. everything about you. and i’m so fucking grateful to have someone as amazing as you in my life. i don’t know what i did to deserve someone like you, and i feel like i really don’t deserve you. but it feels right. to be with you. to be alone with you. it’s just right.”
you let a little tear trickle down your cheek. you know if you look up at him, you’ll probably cry harder. you know this well, yet you look up.
“i don’t know what i did to deserve you either.” mark sighs. it’s his turn to wipe your tears now.
“so… what is this? what… are we?” you ask, melting into his hand, which somehow feels softer on your face.
“i don’t know. we can be whatever you want us to be.”
you playfully punch his shoulder, his hands sliding off your cheeks. “come on, you know i hate it when you say that.”
he gets defensive. “and you know i hate it when you hit me! you have a strong hand, yanno? shit!”
you laugh at him, clearing the last unwanted tear off your cheek with the pad of your thumb. “what can i say? gained strength from all those pillow fights over the years.”
“yeah, pillow fights i won.”
“shut up! you know i won the one at jeno’s party!”
mark laughs aloud. your favourite sound. “yeah, because everyone was drunk and you were still on your second drink. it was a very unevenly matched fight!”
“i still won!” you cross your arms and sit up straight as if you assert dominance over the conversation. who are you kidding? it’s all a joke anyways.
you crack after a moment and both of you erupt in a fit of giggles. his head falls into the crook of your neck, and it feels right. it’s almost as if your skin buzzed. you don’t know why, he’s done this many times before. but now, it’s different. the air has shifted again, so quickly. only with mark.
when he comes off of your neck, you stand up. you walk up to the door of his room, and lock it.
“y/n, what-“
you sit on his bed. “can’t have someone walk in while you’re ogling at my boobs, right? i know you and you’d never be able to live that down.”
mark is quick to stand up in defence. “what? no, we don’t have to do that anymore. i said my piece and im over the boob thing and-“
“shut up mark. you know you want to. and i kinda wanna show you too.”
he sits down on the bed across from you without another word but before either of you can move, he speaks again. “wait, kinda? please don’t feel obligated. only do this if you’re-“
“minhyung, please! i want to, ok? i really appreciate how you’re taking care of me but it’s fine. i trust you, and you trust me, right?”
he swallows hard. “right.”
“okay, perfect.” you pull your shirt off over your head, leaving you in your bra. if this was with any other boy, you’d be self conscious about literally everything: the bra you chose, the shape of your body, the hair in the places you let grow out. with mark, none of it matters now. he’s seen you in bathing suits before, this isn’t much different. and knowing how much he cares for you anyways, you know his head is clouded with praise and nothing less. his brain is working so fast right now, he probably won’t even register any imperfections.
“can i take your bra off?” mark sputters out as if he were holding onto the words for hours. “or wait, fuck-“
“yes, you can.”
he is almost shocked at your answer, and it shows. mark’s hands move slowly, his skin slightly cold as he grazes your skin. he leans in unbelievably close to wrap his arms around you to reach your back. he feels your breath on his chin, and your beautiful eyes look so sweet as you look up at him. when he finds the clasp, he kisses your nose as he pulls away, your bra coming back with him. you straighten your arms so the straps fall right off, showing your boobs.
mark is shocked. flabbergasted, even. his jaw almost drops in a shameless, teenaged boy way.
“dang. they’re so cute.”
you scoff. “cute? first boobs of your life and all you have to say is cute?”
“well what else can i say? i am not very well versed in the vast vocabulary that exists to describe your boobs.” he chuckles. “jeez, why is the word boob so fucking funny?”
you can’t help but smile timidly alongside him. that is what mark does, he makes you feel safe no matter what the situation. mark is always worried about you, worried if you are feeling comfortable and if you are okay with what is going on. he never wants things to be tense when you are around, because he hates to see you upset.
right now, you are the opposite of upset.
“y/n,” he brings your attention back to him. you hum in response. “can i touch?”
you freeze for a moment, and nod timidly. mark scoots a little bit closer, and reaches out with his right hand to gently cup your left breast. his hand is warm, and your skin needs a second to adjust to his temperature. he squeezes the flesh in the absolute slightest way, and quickly brings his hand back. he laughs almost exasperated.
“oh my god, it’s squishy? boobs are squishy?! why did that never register in my head?” he laughs loudly, as if he had just discovered something monumental.
“you’re just finding out now? oh my god mark, that’s common knowledge!”
mark looks down, his cheeks red from laughing. “dang, i’m so touch starved that i never knew until now that boobs are squishy. insanity.”
“the more you bring it up, the sadder it gets.” you reply.
he looks up at you with scrunched eyebrows. “don’t be mean. can i touch again?”
“yes, you can.”
mark cups your left boob with his right hand again, this time running his thumb softly over the supple skin. he doesn’t know what his limits are yet. can he go further? can he touch other parts of your boobs? can he touch other parts of your body? he is scared of going too fast and scaring you. mark is doing his very best today to be as careful as possible, as this is probably, remarkably, the best day of his life so far.
he pushes his index finger into your boob gently to poke it, and you laugh softly. at this point, you are just looking down at mark’s hand on your body. honestly, the fact that he isn’t doing anything is almost relaxing.
you look at how slowly his finger moves, like your skin is made up of the most delicate material in the world. he holds you with such care, such control. it is a feeling you want to feel again, and again, and again.
mark inhales slowly. he wants to go further. he wants more. he doesn’t know how you feel yet, but he will wait for you every step of the way.
but just as he opens his mouth, he hears a thud on his door. “mark hyung, we’re home! is y/n here? come eat with us!”
you both jump, as jaemin’s loud voice destroys the entire atmosphere. mark turns a cute shade of pink almost immediately, and takes his hand off of your skin. you are surprised at first, but lose all tension as you watch mark’s reaction. the poor boy is so embarrassed, but even more upset at how shortly your time was cut off. you laugh as he grabs your bra and tries to put it back on you. unfortunately, he cannot figure out how to close the back shut.
“i’m here! we’ll be there in a sec.” you shout, sparing mark from saying something stupid. you clip your bra straps together, and pull your shirt back on.
mark looks upset. “i’m so sorry they cut us off. they were supposed to be out all day, fuck. i’m sorry-”
“mark, baby, it’s okay. you didn’t know. besides, this isn’t ending here.”
mark looks up at you. “baby?”
“oh gosh, i don’t know where that came from. i’m sorry.”
“no no, its cute. i like it. baby. it just…”
“makes sense?”
he nods. “yeah. this makes sense. it really does.”
mark’s heart pounds in his chest as he takes your hands in his. today, they feel softer, warmer. he inhales sharply once again, hoping this time jaemin doesn’t break his door down, or something of the sort.
his thumb does the thing again, rubbing your skin gently. “y/n, i don’t want to be friends anymore. i think we are more than friends.”
you smile. “i do too. this makes sense.”
mark feels like he is going to explode. that would be bad though, because if he exploded, you would too. that wouldn’t be good for anyone.
“so i guess you’re my girlfriend now.”
you giggle softly. “that sounds so much better than best friend.”
“dang, it kinda does, doesn’t it?”
you let go of his hands and climb off his bed. he follows instantly after you do. right before you go to unlock the door, mark takes your hand once again, and turns you to face him.
you heart races as you lock eyes with him. you cannot believe everything that happened today. how your best friend, who you’d known for your whole life, confessed everything he felt for you, and poked your boobs mere minutes after. and that’s okay, because that’s mark. your mark.
“do we have to go down? i really want to see your boobs again.”
you lean over and place a kiss on his cheek, which causes him to lose his train of thought completely. “you’ll see them again soon, i promise. but if we don’t go down, jaemin will come upstairs and try opening your door. you know him, he’ll freak out when he sees that it’s locked. we’d get found out before we even have a chance to start.”
mark sighs. “fine. no more boobs today. guess i’ll just have to suffer without your boobs in my hands. shit, how am i going to survive?”
you unlock the door, and twist the handle. “well baby, i guess you’ll have to figure it out.”
248 notes · View notes
marauder-exe · 4 years
Text
Prompt List #2
Welcome to my biggest prompt list ever
if you wanna request something from this list, just use the character and ‘ prompt 34 from prompt list #2′ thank u!
Theres like 200 so be wary
Angst
“I love you ! Is that what you wanted to hear ?”
“I love him/her, and I know that I shouldn’t.”
“Can you just shut your mouth ?”
“wHY DO YOU KEEP LYING TO ME ?”
“We both know that I should walk away, but I can’t.”
“Wait, he/she has a girlfriend/boyfriend ?"
“I lo—-” “No, please… Don’t say that. You love her/him, not me.”
"Could you just take this pain away ? It hurts, so much… Help me.”
“You’re safe here, I got you.”
“Don’t ask her out again, please… You’re killing me, every single time you ask that.”
“Look, he/she wants you, just make him/her happy.”
“If you go, I’ll know that you never loved me.”
“We never were just friends, and you know it.” “I know it, but you deserve someone better than me.”
“SHE WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF YOU!!!”
“You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” “But you are the only one who deserves it.”
“I know for a fact that you’re not “fine”.”
“You’re looking at me like.. you’re disgusted. What did I do? Just tell me what I did, please!”
“What happened between us?”
“Nothing has changed!” “Yes it has, and you know it.”
“Love isn’t supposed to hurt this badly.”
“You said you needed space. You were 5,000 miles away for a year, and you’re still unsure. I’m starting to think that an entire universe apart wouldn’t be enough space for you.”
“I remember when he/she/they used to look at me that way”
“I want you to list every lie you ever told me. Then I’ll forgive you.”
“I don’t hate you. I hate that after all of this, you’re still trying to lie to me”
“I can’t keep this secret for you anymore.”
“I’m sorry I’m not what you signed up for.”
“Why she/her/them? It could have been anybody, and you chose to betray me with her/him/them.”
“This will be the last time you lie to me.”
“You never loved me, did you?”
“You made me miserable and I still loved you.”
“Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”
“We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”
“Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”
“Your mind must be a horrible place.”
“Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”
“And I thought you loved me."
" And I thought I loved you."
" Aren't you even going to cry?"
“I didn’t expect you to wait forever. I just hoped…”
“Did you always know that you were going to leave?”
“If you cry, I’ll stay, and if I stay that will just give you another reason to hate me.”
“I’m addicted and at this point I don’t think anything could make me stop.”
”If you wanna know, then ask.”
“You never asked because you knew I wouldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear.”
“We grew apart, and at this point I’m glad.”
“Find somebody else to kiss your ass.”
“When are you going to stop clawing for something that’s never going to happen?”
“What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”
“It was easier to believe that the you I knew was dead than deal with the fact that I still have to see you every day.”
“What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”
Fluff
51. “You’re hair is really soft after you wash it.”
52. “Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”
53. “You smell really nice.”
54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”
55. “I might have slept with your robe when you were gone.”
56. “If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you.”
57. “Here, let’s share the blanket.”
58. “You’re comfy.”
59.“You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.”
60.“But I want to hear you sing.”
61.“Don’t get up - I’ll do it.”
62.“Care to give me a back scratch?”
63.“I think I love you.”
64.“Your bed head is really cute.”
65.“How about a kiss?”
66.“You made this for me?”
67.Aw, you’re blushing.”
68. Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?”
69. “Let me help you with that.”
70. “I don’t want to forget this moment.”
71.“Are you really flirting with me right now?”
72.“I like the way your hand fits in mine.”
73.“You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”
74.“It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”
75.“This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?”
76.“Wait, don’t pull away… Not yet.”
77.“Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything”
78.“No, it’s fine.  I can wait until you’re done talking to them.”
79.“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”
80.“You’re a big piece of inspiration for this, honestly.”
81.“I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you’re going to look so good and I need to try and match up.”
82.“I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.”
83.“My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes.”
84.“No, mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!”
85.“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”
86.“ You are so beautiful — So fucking beautiful. “
87.“And just WHERE do you think you’re putting your hands?”
88.“Wow, you look even better in the daylight.”
89.“I don’t remember ever having this many hickeys. But I don’t mind.”
90.“We could order pizza and just stay like this all day.”
91.“It was always you.”
92.I love you in every possible way.”
93.“I didn’t mean to love you so much.”
94.“Don’t you hurt a single hair on his/her/their head.”
95.“Duck, you idiot!”
96.“Hey. Pal. I’ve got a wand and I’m not afraid to use it.”
97.“Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”
98.“It’s not a double date. We’re just third and fourth wheeling.”
99.“Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”
100.“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..”
Sarcasm
101.“Define normal.” 
102.“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?” 
103.“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” 
104.“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.” 
105.“It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”
106.“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 
107.“And you wonder why you’re still single.”
108.“Remind me to kill you. Please.” 
109.“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”
110.“She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.” 
111.“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”
112.“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.” 
113.“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.” 
114.“My middle finger salutes you.” 
115.“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.” 
116.Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.” 
117.“Oh darling. Go buy a brain.” 
118.“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 
119.“All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 
120.“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”
121.“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.” 
122.“What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?” 
123.“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!” 
124.“I need therapy after this.” 
125.“You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” 
126.“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” 
127.“I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.” 
128.“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”
129.“Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.” 
130.“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.” 
131.“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.” 
132.“Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!” 
133.“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.” 
134.“She’s hot, but she’s evil.” 
135.“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” 
136.“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.” 
137.“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” 
138.“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.” 
139.“Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.” 
140.“Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”
141.“Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.” 
142.“Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.” 
143.“You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” 
144.“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” 
145.“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 
146.“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.” 
147.“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.
148.“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.” 
149.“Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.” 
150.“You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.” 
Drama
151.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”
152.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?” 
153.“Don’t think I forgot about what you did last time.”
154.“I know you lied to me.”
155.“I’m not even sorry.”
156.“You backstabber!” 157.“I never want to see you again.” 158.“You never mattered to me.”
159.“I knew this was a bad idea.”
160.“Rot in hell.”
161.“It was supposed to be a secret!”
162.“No one loves me.” 163.“He/she/they is/are so petty…” 164.“You made me cry.” 165.“I don’t know who you are anymore.” 166.“How DARE you?!” 167.“I know you’re not talking to me…” 168.“I SAW you with him/her/them!”
169.“Just leave me alone.”
170.“What did you do?!” 171.“I told everyone that I didn’t want to talk but I’m actually dying for attention.”
172. “Just admit that was extra…”
173.“I forgive, but I don’t forget.” 174.“Did you see what he/she/they was/were wearing?” 175.“So what if I had sex with your ex?” 176.“There’s something I have to tell you…” 177.“I can’t do this anymore.” 178.“You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.” 179.“I never loved you.” 180.“It’s too late.”
181.“Quit ignoring me.”
182. “Don’t you get it? It’s because I love you!”
183.“I love you. I’m sorry.”
184.“I don’t want to be friends.”
185.“Can we please pretend I never said that?”
186.“Friendzoned again.”
187.“You should’ve loved me when you had the chance.”
188.“Fuck you for toying with my emotions like that.”
189.“I was there for you when no one else was!”
190.“Alright – I can tell a ‘no’ when I hear it.”
191.“I’m sorry I acted so creepy.”
192.“Fuck. It’s like what they say – nice guys finish last…”
193.“I’m tired of keeping this secret. Even if you don’t love me back.”
194. “I knew that’d be your answer. That’s why I never told you before.”
195.“When I said I loved you, I meant it.”
196.“Is there any part of you, deep down, that might love me back?”
197.“You were the one that left all those notes for me?”
198.“You’re in a relationship with another person – you know this can’t end well.”
199.“We agreed this was just physical!”
200.“I love you. I know you don’t love me, so don’t say it back.”
Ahhh im sorry that was so long, but if you read all the way to here, your a real one.
Again i write for all Hp characters! Feel free to use these prompts as ur own
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mde1011 · 3 years
Text
when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them
how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”
⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”
⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”
⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”
⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”
⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”
⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”
⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”
⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”
⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”
⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”
- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”
⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”
⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”
⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”
⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”
⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”
⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”
⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um
<tommyinnit> boobed
<sapnap> kill you
<tommyinnit> boobs
<sapnap> if this happens
<tommyinnit> think about boobs man
<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy
<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED
⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”
⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”
⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”
⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”
⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”
⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”
⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”
⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”
⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”
⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”
⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”
⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”
⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”
⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”
⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism
⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”
⁃ “please stop taking the cock”
⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”
⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”
⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”
⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”
⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”
⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”
⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”
⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”
⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”
⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”
⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”
⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”
⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”
⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”
⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”
⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”
⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”
⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”
⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”
⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”
⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”
⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”
⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”
⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”
⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”
⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”
⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”
⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”
⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”
⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”
⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”
⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”
⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”
⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”
⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”
⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”
⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”
⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”
⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”
⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“
⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”
⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”
⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”
⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”
⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”
⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”
⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”
⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”
⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”
⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”
⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”
⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”
⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”
⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”
⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”
⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”
⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”
⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”
⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”
⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”
⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”
⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”
⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”
⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”
⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”
⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”
⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”
⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”
⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”
⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”
⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”
⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“
⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”
⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“
⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”
⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”
⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”
⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“
⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”
⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”
⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”
⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”
⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”
⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”
⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“
⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”
⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“
⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”
⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”
⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“
⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”
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