#i've had this in my drafts for months and just wanted to finally post it

[aloeverified]

death note — neurodivergent headcanons:

lawliet: autism (asd)

when he was little, he refused to wear socks because he hated the way they seams felt on his feet. eventually watari gave up on trying to make him wear them and just had him wear shoes that didn't require them — that was until lawliet realized the benefit to not wearing shoes and just started going barefoot.

along with that, he used to never wear jeans as a child because they were too tight and uncomfortable. the same thing goes for long sleeves. this meant he typically wore sweatpants and loose tanktops until he realized he can simply start wearing oversized clothing.

sweets are his safe foods. he typically goes for small candies like m&ms when he's feeling more picky, but he generally enjoys anything ranging from cake to pastries. he also really likes milkshakes and the occasional smoothie.

since he can't read tones, he doesn't always take people's sarcasm as a joke if he's unfamiliar with them. however, that doesn't stop him from having a very sarcastic and dry sense of humor himself. unfortunately, most people don't realize he's also joking due to his monotone voice and lack of facial expressions.

lawliet struggles with empathy. he often finds it hard to sympathize with people who he feels are making a bad decisions. he values logic over emotional reasoning and gets annoyed when people don't see things the same way as him. he’s willing to make extreme decisions and take an ends-justify-the-means approach. he also doesn't see the appeal in formalities and views them as a waste of time. this can lead to him being very brunt and straight to the point, not bothering to mince his words. it often comes across as rude, especially if it's to someone he sees as being less than him.

light: obsessive compulsive disorder (ocd)

he always has to have things a very specific way. not exactly tidy — although he hates messes and being unorganized — but simply "his way." otherwise, he constantly feels off and uncomfortable.

he prefers to work alone because of this. group projects were always a nightmare for him. not only did he want his work area to be organized a specific way, but any essay or project he worked on also had to follow a specific order. along with that, he has to began his work in calculated steps or he'd grow too irritated and frustrated.

his mother quickly learned when he was younger that none of his food could touch or he wouldn't eat dinner. that, and he had to eat each section in order or he didn't feel full.

he'd end up conveniencing himself that if he didn't fill out all the questions on a test in the correct order then he'd end up failing, as well as other thing such as, "if i don't turn off the stove in this specific way, the house is gonna burn down." these thoughts never came across or irrational to him. even when he didn't always fully believe them, he still had a voice in the back of his head telling him he was wrong. therefore, he always went along with his specific order.

he'd spiral with his thoughts a lot. if he shook someone's hand after meeting them, he'd tune out their introduction and think about what their hand has touched, when the last time they washed their hand was, when he'd be able to wash his hand. it go to the point where he'd eventually just stop touching people in general, and grew annoyed when they touched him.

matt: attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (adhd)

despite ranking at number three at the orphanage, there's actually a very big gap between near and mello's intelligence compared to matt's. he's smart, definitely, but he's not actually a genius like the other two. this caused matt to feel a great divide between himself and the other two, and he tried his best to hole up in his room and study to become like them, but it ultimately left him burnt out.

after that, matt stopped applying himself and his grades began tanking. watari realized this was a result of his unmotivation and not actual stupidity, though, so he allowed matt to keep his place as third.

matt began suffering from the pressure and anxiety he felt in trying to become one of L's successors, and during one of his walks outside the orphanage, he came across a group of people offering him a cigarette to help him chill out. matt was smart enough to know it was a bad decision, but he was also depressed and decided to take it up to help calm his nerves.

matt's hyperfixations revolve around technology. after becoming obsessed with video games, he eventually decided to learn about how people code them which lead him into being interested in coding and hacking.

he's mostly unmedicated for his adhd, though he does find a way to get adderall when he feels like it. because of his, he's extremely prone to boredom and is more than likely to give up on a specific tasks to play games instead.

he's overall very aimless due to his boredom and burnt out feelings towards bettering himself. he fills his time with exciting things like drag races and drugs, but other than that he's very shut and reclusive and unlikely to let someone pull him away from his games unless they're offering something more fun to do.

he constantly is seeking out stimulation. there's always music blasting from his headphones while he games or a radio playing while he drives.

mello: autism (asd)

his tone is typically very flat, which causes confusion when people are trying to tell his emotions. along with that, he's not very expressive physically unless mad or manic.

he gets irritated very easily when people fail to understand whether or not he's being serious or not, or if they misinterpret him. he knows deep down that it's not their fault, but he hates being reminded of how he's the problem.

he constantly feels alienated from others. he was never able to make friends in the orphanage. he always started off well, but was never able to maintain connection with others. because of this, he isolates himself from just about everyone — only really keeping in contact with lawliet, near, and matt when he's older.

he's very defensive and possessive of his interests. he doesn't like when other people dislike them, but he hates when they seem to like them a lot. he's like this with friends as well, mostly when he was younger. he also got jealous when matt hung out with other kids instead of him, especially since he already struggled to keep friends so he was worried about ruining their friendship and being abandoned.

he wished he wasn't autistic when he was younger. of course, he was nervous about what other people thought about him, but his issues typically went back to him hating how difficult everything was for him — communicating, making connections, feeling like he belonged. no matter what he did, it always felt like the wrong choice; no matter where he went, he didn't belong.

unlike many other autistic people, he doesn't hate loud noises. in fact, a majority of the music he enjoys revolves around loud sounds. however, he has to be in the right mood to listen to them. he doesn't just put music on whenever, he has to want to actively listen to it in order to stand it. similarly, he can't have anything on in the background if he's trying to get work done. his surroundings are either completely silent or shaking pictures off the wall loud.

misa: (adhd)

throughout school, misa struggled with the material more than others. she had a very short attention span and often got in trouble for daydreaming instead of focusing. this is what caused her to start becoming overly insecure about her smarts and try and make up for it by being pretty and funny.

most her hyperfixations fall into stereotypical feminine traits, such as makeup and fashion.

when her fans found out she had adhd, she played into the stereotypes and just used it to make herself seem overly bubbly and dumb as she knew it would help her as an idol. however, due to this many people started regarding her as a moron with no ideas of substance, which added to her insecurities regarding her intelligence. whenever she did try to showcase herself and her ideas, she was typically laughed at and most people thought she was joking.

since japan has very strict drug laws, she's unmedicated and her symptoms are very severe; specifically her forgetfulness, excitability, fidgeting, hyperactivity, impulsivity, irritability, lack of restraint, and persistent repetition of words or actions. she's also very prone to mood swings when provoked.

near: autism (asd) & dyspraxia

her special interests are toys. she's not very picky and likes things that range from puzzles to toy robots, but she does favor dolls. she especially likes ones that come with television shows such as ever after high, equestria girls, monster high, and my little pony. she's not ashamed of her more childlike interests either, as she grew up around solely autistic people and was never made to feel embarrassed.

near has always preferred to play by herself as a child as she often felt like other people couldn't understand how exactly her little storylines played out in her head and it would be too much work explaining them when she could just play alone. she also just generally prefers not to socialize with others unless it comes down to those she is extremely close with, such as lawliet, matt, and especially mello.

she struggles a lot when it comes to social cues. she doesn't adjust her demeanor accordingly when it comes to certain situations, which makes her come across as uncaring. pair that with her inability to make eyecontact or even bother to face someone when they're talking to her, and she appears to be very uncaring most of the time.

her main stim is twirling her hair.

she has an insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, and ritualized patterns. she usually only wears all white, and is very highly organized when it comes to her personal space and belongings. all her toys are organized by what type they are and then what color. she also prefers to stick to her comfort zone and doesn't typically leave the orphanage unless it's absolutely necessary.

near is very selective when it comes to which textures she's willing to deal with. she only wears soft clothing like pajamas, and doesn't bother wearing shoes with her socks. she also typically likes warm and soft foods, such as oatmeal or rice.

she needs to feel stimulated at all times, so she typically watches something while she eats and listens to music when she's going to bed. she'll also often have one of her shows on in the background while playing with her toys or will put on fitting music for whatever adventure she's making her toys go on.

she's not very good at taking care of herself on her own, as she'll prioritize her hobbies over things like eating and showing. she's also easily stressed and unmotivated when it comes to things she doesn't like doing, and needs someone else to help her with things such as arranging doctor appointments and flights.

she also prefers to sit on the floor and crawl between spaces rather than walking around due to her dyspraxia. when she's feeling particularly weak, she uses a wheelchair and has either gevanni, lawliet, or mello push her around depending on where she is or who she's with.

#i headcanon near as a trans girl so i use she/her but feel free to use any pronouns for her on this post #ik a lot of people headcanon her as ftm so i don't really mind which you use #also i projected so hard here sorry if it's obvious #i've had this in my drafts for months and just wanted to finally post it #death note #dn headcanons #l lawliet #lawliet watari #light yagami #miheal keehl #mello #nate river #nata river #natalie river #near #mail jeevas #matt #misa amane #aloeverants #might make more of these later 🫶

[hangmanssunnies]

The Hangman Special

Summary: On a night out with your friends at a fancy cocktail bar, you are just trying to keep your head down and ignore the girl that your ex cheated on you with. The night only seems like it's going to get worse when you are dared to kiss a stranger at the bar. However, it seems like the odds might finally be in your favor when you notice a familiar set of broad shoulders. If you can be convincing, you think you might just be able to get your brother's friend Jake "Hangman" Seresin to help you out with your little problem.

Pairings: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Word count: 7k

AO3 Link

Warnings: 18+ only, kissing, hot and heavy make-outs, exs, truth or dare, bad friends.

Author's note: Dreaming about kissing Jake in a bar. Thanks to everyone who looked at earlier drafts of this. I hope you enjoy this if you take a chance to read. My inbox is always open if you want to let me know your thoughts. Reblogs with your thoughts, opinions, and tags are gold to me. I love reading through them.

The bar is buzzing with the loud chatter of patrons, the clinking of glasses, and the rhythmic beat of music. You are sitting at a corner table with your friends, a group with an eclectic mix of personalities. You are known for being more on the shy and reserved side, but tonight, you are even more withdrawn than usual. No one had mentioned that Tassie had also been invited to the evening's hang out at the bar. An oversight you felt was probably intentional since everyone knew Tassie had started dating your ex only a week after your breakup. She went so far as to post a picture of them together on her Instagram. It had been a few months since that happened, and until now, you had managed to avoid running into her. However, it seemed like luck had run out.

"Hey, I've got an idea that would spice up the night," Cece says after the first round of drinks. She is one of your bold and outspoken friends, and you aren't sure you like how she is eyeing you with a mischievous glint. "Let's play truth or dare." 

The whole group groans at the suggestion, and one of your friends vaguely wonders if you're all still in middle school playing that kind of game. Despite the initial lack of enthusiasm, after another round of drinks, the group is laughing and entrenched in the game. 

When Cece sings your name when she finishes her turn, you are nervous by the sly smile she is wearing as she formulates an option for you when you hesitantly concede to doing a dare. "You're the only one of us still single, so I dare you to go over to the bar and give somebody a kiss." 

"What?!" 

"Just a quick one, nothing too scandalous," Cece says placatingly. "Come on, live a little! It's just a bit of fun. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I bet they won't do it. They're too chicken for this kind of thing, not one to step out of their comfort zone," Tassie says. It makes your blood freeze in your veins because you know those words. You have heard that criticism thrown at you in the past, but not from her, from your ex. 

Your eyes narrow at her, and you ask, "Too chicken? Seriously?"

"Yeah. Please, prove us wrong. Show us you can do something spontaneous," Tassie taunts, grinning. You feel a surge of defiance welling up. Even though you're reserved, you are not one to back down from a challenge, especially not when the woman who cheated with your boyfriend is acting like you're the one who should be ashamed. Acting like she is better than you. 

"Fine, watch this," You declare, feeling hot with a mixture of embarrassment and determination. As you stand up, your friends exchange amused glances, convinced that you are about to back out of the dare. 

With absolutely no intention of  backing down, though, you scan the bar. After a moment of examination your heart soars because you realize you have this dare in the bag. You have the advantage even, because there is a familiar tall, broad-shouldered blonde at the bar that you know all too well. Jake Seresin, or Hangman, is one of your brother's best friends, and he is looking just as delectable tonight as he always does. The group would undeniably be impressed with you kissing someone so handsome, and you knew one way or another you could convince Jake to help you out. 

"Cece, I'll even let you pick since you made the dare. Point out the hottest man in the bar, and I'll kiss him." You say confidently. There is no doubt that Jake is the most attractive person there, and he is just Cece's type, too. She falls right into what you want, pointing Hangman out for you. The rest of your friend group hoots, making even more comments that you aren't going to follow through with the dare and approach someone who is that drop-dead gorgeous. 

Ignoring their taunts, you square your shoulders and walk with as much confidence as you can summon into sashaying across the bar. Putting mental effort into trying to project some form of hotness onto yourself not only for the confidence boost but also the bit of spite burning in you. 

Reaching the bartop area, the hesitation starts to set in as you admire Jake's profile. He is sitting on a bar stool leaning against the counter, patiently waiting for the bartender in the crowd that is starting to grow. Taking one last breath to steady yourself, you reach out and delicately set a hand on his bulging bicep. 

"Hangman!" You say brightly as if you're surprised to have run into him. Jake turns to face you at your touch, and an easy wide grin spreads across his face. 

"Fancy seeing you here, my dear! How are you?" He asks as his eyes trace you slowly from head to toe and back again, the grin on his face not slipping once. 

"Oh, I’m fine, and I am so glad I ran into you." 

"Most people are," Jake says, winking at you. You are nearly distracted by his handsome face and flirty tone. He looks like he has put on even more muscle since you saw him last. The green button-down he is wearing appears close to bursting at the seams with how it clings to him. "So, what have you been up to these days?" 

"Are you still single?" You blurt quickly, ignoring his question, not wanting to lose your steam. 

"Yes, Ma'am. Last I checked. Why?" 

"Perfect, can you do me a huge favor?" You ask. 

"I'm always happy to help out a friend," Jake says, sounding increasingly suspicious. The smile hasn't dropped from his face, but his eyes have narrowed slightly, examining you. 

Quickly standing on your tip toes, you loop an arm around Jake's neck, appreciating that he is sitting on a stool, helping level your height difference. Wasting no time, you pull him down to meet you in a quick kiss. Once his lips brush yours, you let go of him, stepping back, not even taking a moment to savor the feeling or enjoy having Jake this close. 

With your mission accomplished, you have every intention of making a hasty retreat back to your friends and hoping that you will be able to forget this. You are going to erase knowing you've kissed Jake Seresin from your brain, and then the next time you see him, you're going to pretend this fiasco never happened. It feels like the best and only course of action for you to take. 

However, you don't even get to make a full step away from Jake before large hands and thick arms circle around your waist, pulling you back towards him. He tugs until you are standing between his spread thighs, his hands maintaining their position on your waist. 

"Woah now, where do you think you're going?" He asks, eyes darting around your face, studying you closely. 

Embarrassment at having to explain your actions rushes through you, turning your stomach and overriding or maybe enhancing the butterflies there. You glance away from Jake towards your friends and see them watching with rapt attention. Then his thumb moves in a slow soothing circle, drawing you back towards him. 

"I'm sorry! My friends dared me to kiss someone at the bar, and when I saw you, well, I knew it wasn't a lost cause because you're not a complete stranger." 

You refuse to believe that the frown that flashes on Jake's face is one of disappointment. However, it's hard to ignore when his eyebrows are scrunched together, and his hands are so warm you feel it bleeding through your clothing. 

"You could at least buy someone a drink before stealing a kiss, you know. That's just some common decency." 

"I'm so sorry, Jake," you apologize again. "Let me buy you a beer for your troubles." 

"Naw, you don't got to." 

"Well, now I have to because you made me feel bad," you say, waving your arm to try and flag down a bartender. 

"I didn't take you for one to just kiss someone on a dare," he says conversationally. You try not to wriggle uncomfortably in his hold, but without even trying, he seems to have pulled you even closer. 

"I normally wouldn't be," you agree. "But the girl who I highly suspect of cheating with my ex while we were still together is here. I'm sure she thinks she's better than me and that I'm a boring prude."

"She clearly has never been around when you drink tequila," Jake laughs. You can't believe he would still remember the camping trip from years ago, where you were drinking tequila. Definitely notable because it was probably the last time you had dared have any of the liquor. 

"Can you please forget about that? And tonight, too?" You request. Jake pretends to think it over, humming lightly before shaking his head. 

"Sorry, no can do. It's already burned into my eidetic memory." You huff at his response, avoiding eye contact with him to try and catch sight of the bartender again. "You know, if you just asked me first, I would have given you the friends and family discount." 

"And what is that?" 

"Pretty similar to buy one get one free," he says, his voice dropping a little lower. Your mouth falls open in surprise, but you can't find any words. "Could have given you more than a quick peck, something that would really wow your friends." 

Trying very hard not to imagine what kind of kiss Jake would consider wowing, you decide to deflect. Jokingly saying, "Didn't think you were from one of those kinda southern states. Do you make a habit of kissing family members?" 

Jake throws his head back and laughs full-bellied at you. "The friends and family of my friends discount then," he amends. 

"I already hate being in this situation. I don't want more of a pity handout than I've already taken."

"Darlin," he sighs, shaking his head at you. "I would have even given you the Hangman special. Which is a deal, bargain, and steal. Comes with a kiss that's guaranteed to impress friends, people who cheated with your atrocious ex, everyone in this bar, and has even been known to, on occasion, inspire a standing ovation." 

"Ha.Ha. You're so funny," you say dryly, rolling your eyes. 

"I am, thank you for noticing," Jake says. "However, I think you deserve that kind of kiss to prove a point to your friends over there." 

"They didn't even think I would be able to make it over here to talk to you." You admit to him, glancing over at your friends again, a little displeased that they are still obviously observing your interaction.

"That them over there?" He asks, following the direction you're looking. You hum in acknowledgment. "Which one's the cheater?" He breathes, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear, sending a shudder down your spine. 

You describe Tassie a bit to him, finding yourself shifting closer into his embrace, enjoying how he is somehow able to help most of the chaotic bar disappear from your senses. It's hard to think about the noise or the increasing number of people starting to press in when Jake's touching you. When he picks out who she is, Jake grunts a little. He lowers his face and nearly kisses your neck over the pulse point. His hot breath tickles the spot, causing shivers again as he declares, "I don't see the appeal." 

"Wish my ex felt that way," you sigh. 

"Fuck him," Jake says with conviction. Drawing a bit back from you to make eye contact again. His green eyes are clear, and in the dimmed mood light around you, they seem to shine even brighter than usual. 

"You sure you don't mind me having kissed you to prove a point?" 

"My dear," he laughs like you told him a funny joke. "I can't imagine a situation where I would mind you kissing me. Let alone one where I get to help you out." 

Sliding your hand up his chest to casually rest on his shoulder, you wonder, "Is the Hangman Special still available?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Guaranteed to be wowing?" You check. 

"Got a warranty for you and everything," Jake says lowly. 

Your hand curls around Jake's neck again, and you attempt to tug him closer to you. He doesn't even budge, though. One of his hands slowly traces up your side from your waist until he is cupping your cheek. Then Jake leans close, his breath ghosting over your lips, where he lingers for a moment. Your eyes flutter closed, and as soon as they do, his lips press to yours. This time, it's not a quick peck. 

He is slow and deliberate in how he kisses you. Tilting his head to the side to get a slightly better angle, Jake uses his hand on your face to urge your lips to align better with his. Pliable to his touch, you open your mouth to him, seeking even more, and rewarded when Jake's tongue brushes against your own. You never doubted that Jake would be a good kisser, but knowing firsthand is something you know you won't be able to erase from your memory. When the kiss starts to border on indecent, he pulls away. 

You linger in the moment, keeping your eyes closed until your heart doesn't feel like it's going to burst from your chest. While you are in that limbo spot, his thumb slowly strokes your cheekbone. Sea glass green is the first thing you see when opening them again, Jake not making any effort to veil how he is admiring you. His lips are slightly pinker now than they just were, and you can't help but imagine how pink and swollen they would get if you had the opportunity to get this man alone on a couch. 

Just as you consider requesting that he kiss you again, just to really really solidify how good you are to your friends, because obviously, three kisses are much better than the one they dared you to get, you are suddenly bumped from behind. The motion roughly shoves you against Jake's solid chest. Both his hands automatically return to your waist, tightening as he steadies you there. Glaring over your shoulder at whoever bumped you, he asks, "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm okay," you breathe. Being this close to him, the woodsy scent of his cologne tickles your nose. And you suddenly wonder why exactly he is in this upscale cocktail bar dressed so nicely. 

"I'm glad you decided to kiss me and not any of these other assholes," he mutters darkly, still glaring over your shoulder. 

"Well, it wasn't really a choice." You reveal, which has his eyes snapping back to you in an instant and a frown pulling at his lips. One of his thumbs that's resumed making circles on your waist stops, and the other falls off your waist entirely now. He doesn't move otherwise, but his presence feels less consuming. Tersely, he responds, "I see." 

"I may have skewed the odds. Told my friends to pick the hottest man they could find. What would you know? They picked you." You explain quickly.

"That's some good luck on your part." 

"It wasn't luck, not really."

"How do you mean?" He wonders. 

"I knew they would pick you." 

"What made you so confident?"

"Because, Jake, you are, hands down, the most attractive person here," you reveal to him shyly. Your fingers curling into his silky shirt, where they have found themselves on his chest after being pushed. 

"See now, I don't think that's true," he says, his eyebrows pulling together. The frown is gone though, the edges of his lips quirking up again. 

"Oh please, Jake. Do not pretend you don't know how handsome you are."

"I'm aware. However, that doesn't change the fact that you're the most attractive person in this bar tonight." 

"You're a flirt," you accuse him. 

"I am," he agrees with no argument. "But that don't make me dishonest or mean I'm not genuine. I haven't been flirting with you just for the sake of it." 

Warmth blooms in your center at his words, and you nearly forget all about trying to escape away from him. Right now, you just want to get closer, as close as he will let you. However, you are pulled out of the fantasy when you look away from Jake's intense gaze to see your friends and how most of the table seems shocked and scandalized. Wryly, you notice Cece giving you two thumbs up. It's like you could almost forget that this was just him being flirty and imagine he was kissing you for more than just helping prove a point. "Well, I appreciate your help with the Hangman Special. I know they will all be impressed and jealous when I head back over there." 

"Now, wait a moment. You can't just sneak away. The Hangman Special not only comes with mind-blowing kisses but also a free night out, all expenses paid, and dinner at any restaurant you choose. "

"You just give that away to any random person who asks?"

"No, only the pretty ones I've had my eye on for a long while," Jake says, his eyes intense, the hand still on your waist flexing tighter for a moment.

"You have?" You ask, completely surprised. 

"Yes, Ma'am," he replies with no hesitation. Before you can respond, the bartender finally makes his way over to you two, asking for your order. Jake instantly defers to you before ordering, asking, "What do you want, my dear?" 

"I thought I already told you I'm taking one of the Hangman specials." You say, after taking a moment to think it over. The grin that lights up Jake's face is sunny and bright, and if you weren't being supported by his strong body, you would have probably fallen over swooning. 

Turning back to the bartender, Jake requests two bottles of water and both of your tabs. As you peek over his shoulder while he signs, you see the bill consists of just one beer, the water, and the two drinks you've had tonight. 

"So you want the full experience?" He asks you when you've taken a sip of water, and he has downed half of his in the same time. 

"From what I know about you, Jake, I don't think you're someone who does things by halves," you answer, fiddling with one of the buttons on his silky green shirt. Then you are pushing a bit on his chest, trying to step away. When you do, Jake's hands find themselves on your hips again pulling you closer to him. 

"Where you going?" He pouts. 

"I just need to grab my purse." 

"Whatcha you need your purse for, sweetheart? Don't you know I ain't going to let you pay for nothing?" Jake drawls. 

"I'm sure you want that to come off gentlemanly, but you're close to flirting with misogynistic." You say, playfully poking a finger into his chest.

"No." Grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his lips, Jake brushes a kiss on your pulse point, saying, "I know exactly who I'm flirting with, and that is you, my dear." 

The laugh you let out is slightly involuntary, but it makes Jake look like he won a prize, so you can't be too displeased, especially not when he has resumed drawing circles on your skin, and it feels like some sort of hypnosis you never want to end. "I'll be right back, and you can keep flirting with me for as long as you like." 

"That a promise?" Jake asks.

"Sure thing," you agree, but Jake still hasn't let go of you. 

"Do you want some company?" 

"You don't have to." 

"Little worried you're going to try and sneak away," he admits. 

"But Jake, I am sneaking away," you say in a fake whisper as if sharing a secret. "Sneaking away with you from my friends and this bar." It makes him smile again, just like you were hoping it would. "Just wait here for me. Okay?"

"Okay," he reluctantly agrees. Despite agreeing, the hold he has on your hand actually slightly tightens. "One more kiss?"

"I'm starting to get the feeling that you're always going to want one more kiss."

"You already know me so well," Jake grins. You press your lips against his again in a quick kiss, careful not to get caught up in it, before slipping out of his grasp. When free, you practically skip away from Jake to grab your things. 

Arriving back to your friends, you're greeted with loud whooping and even some clapping thrown in. Cece is practically giggling as she says, "I really didn't think you had that in you." 

"What were you talking about for so long?" Another one of the group asks.

"Was that kiss as hot as he is?" Someone else wonders, and then questions are coming from every direction before you can answer any of them. 

"It was great, he's great." You manage to get in. When they start to flood you with even more questions, you cut them off. "I would love to talk all about it, but I'm sorry y'all, I'm actually just over here to grab my purse." 

"There is no way you are leaving with that guy," Tassie says incredulously. 

Irritation and anger flares up in you as you turn to glare at her. "Really, there's no way? And why would that be Tassie?" 

"Come on," she says, clearly surprised that you've decided to call her out. "You're just not the kind of person to go home with someone from the bar, and he doesn't really seem like your type." 

"I don't know how tall, handsome, funny, and phenomenal kisser could not be someone's type," You say harshly, snatching your purse and jacket from where you had been sitting. 

"I'm just trying to look out for you," she responds sharply. 

"I don't think that's true," you snap back. 

"Hey now, why don't we all chill out," your friend Marv cuts in placatingly. 

"Sorry to interrupt," a familiar southern drawl says from behind as a warm arm wraps around your shoulder. You nearly sag into Jake. The urge to explode on your friends, more specifically Tassie, instantly absorbed by his presence. "But I was promised I could take this one out on a date tonight." 

"We can't let our friend just leave with a stranger," Cece says, and you turn to narrow your eyes at her, frowning that she is butting in when she is the one who set all this into motion in the first place. 

"While I respect that, I don't think you get to make that decision," Jake says lightly and a lot nicer than you would have in that moment. 

"You could be a crazy serial killer or something," Tassie says. 

"While I am a killer, that's normally just how people describe me in bed," he answers in a flirty, exaggerated way. That has you nearly coughing, you suck in air so hard. He gently pats your back and continues on. "If you're really worried though, you can look me up on Instagram. That's at LT.H_ANGM_N. I hope y'all have a good night. I know we will be," Jake punctuates the sentence with a kiss to the side of your head. 

Stuck between laughing and balking you glance around at everyone’s surprised faces at Jake’s boldness. You know exactly what Jake's last Instagram post was, having spent several minutes the other day debating whether you should like the shirtless picture of him on the beach. 

"Are you ready, sweetheart?" Jake asks you, practically muttering the words in your ear. All he needs is your nod before he confidently starts to turn you and lead you out the door. You manage to throw your friends a small wave goodbye, but it only takes a few steps for them to be out of your mind. 

"Did you drive?" Jake asks you as the fresh evening air rushes over you both. 

"No.” And you’re glad you didn’t when it means Hangman will be driving you home.  

"Good," he grins, "do you mind me driving?" 

"I don't," you answer easily, completely content to follow Jake to wherever he is going to lead you. 

He stops in front of a Jeep Gladiator, and you aren't overly surprised by his taste in vehicles. He goes to open the passenger side door for you, but you don't immediately take his offered hand to get inside. Instead, you tug it as you lean against the side of the truck. Jake follows the motion easily, not hesitating to bend down and mold his lips to yours. 

Jake looms over you, one of his hands balancing his weight against the side of the truck just over your head. The other on your side pulling you a bit closer to him. Looping your arm around his neck for some leverage, you let Jake take over your senses. The softness of his tongue paired with how he nibbles at your lower lip pulls a little whine from you.

When you have to pull away for a ragged breath, Jake groans low in his throat as you press teasing kisses down the column of his neck to the V of skin his shirt shows off. The hand on your waist slides up to cup your cheek and pulls you back to his lips. Kissing Jake is easy, he doesn't leave enough room for you to question if he's enjoying it. Nor do you have the capacity to overthink it as Jake's lips move surely and confidently with your own. All there is is him, his warm strong body, soft lips, and the calluses of his fingers. 

Leaning backward, you pull Jake with you wanting to have him pressed flush because even though you're tasting him, caged in, surrounded by him it still isn't close enough. However, the motion presses one of the Jeep’s jutting door hinges sharply into your back. You can't help but gasp a small "ow" as you try to shift. Concern creases Jake's features, and he pulls you away from his truck into his chest, glowering at the vehicle as if it had somehow betrayed him. 

"You okay, darlin?" He asks, his hands tracing down your back checking for injury. You lean more into his chest even though you don't really need the support, it's just nice to be in his arms. 

"I'm fine," you reassure him. 

"Let's get you out of harms way." He says pulling open the passenger side door. As you start to heave yourself into the tall truck Jake is practically picking you up and easily setting you in the seat. You blink at him in surprise at his show of strength. He remains there, standing in the open door, leaning closer and placing his hand just above your knee, his thumb drawing circles there. Then he asks, "So, where would you like to grab some dinner, my dear?" 

"I've heard of this really great restaurant I've been dying to go to."

"Yeah? Let's make it happen then." 

"Mhmm," you hum in confirmation. "It's called Hangman's House." 

Jake's thumb immediately stops moving and the smile on his face seems to shift. The genuine glint there slipping away, to something hard for you to really identify, practiced or guarded. Whatever the change was you don't find yourself liking it and immediately wonder where you misstepped. 

"So, Hangman's House, that's a pretty exclusive place. They don't usually do unplanned reservations," Jake says after what's nearly an awkward silence. 

"That's too bad. I heard that they have great service." You say a little dejected but glad he told you no in a casual manner that you can play off. 

"You're in luck though, my dear, because I know the owner. I think he would be willing to make an exception for us sometime, but they are better known for their breakfast menu." Jake responds upbeat again. 

"I like breakfast." You mutter in what you think is a flirty way. However, it's obvious that you've missed the mark when Jake's hand drops off your leg completely now. 

"Listen, if this is just a one-night thing, just some making out and fun stuff, where you are going to leave in the morning and pretend it never happened next time we see each other," he says seriously. Pausing, he runs a hand through his hair taking a measured breath, and you watch as the muscle in his jaw flexes. "That's fine, but I need to know it now." 

As you study his face intently it occurs to you that maybe even men like Jake Seresin have insecurities. Maybe he was used to interacting with people where more often than not they only saw him as a handsome face with a nice body. People who were ready to leave the next morning. The realization that a one night stand isn’t the series of events he is interested in with regards to you twists a pit of uncertainty in your stomach. You feel a little uneasy not sure exactly where you stand or what he wants with you. 

Reaching to catch Jake's lost hand and tangling your fingers, you start playing with the big class ring he is wearing. He allows the movement and relaxes his hand further, giving you additional leeway. The distraction of Jake's fingers gives you the courage to say, "I guess maybe I misunderstood that this was going to just be a nice fun night with you. Is that not what you were looking for?" 

"I do want that," Jake says adamantly. " However, I don't just want that." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I want to bring you flowers, dance with you, write you love letters. I want to explore every inch of your body and heart until I know what makes you tick. I want you to forget that any other man besides me even exists." Jake presses himself close to you again, and he turns his hand to thread your fingers tightly together. "Now I'm good, and I mean really good my dear, but those aren't goals I can make happen in one evening. So I want to start with tonight, taking you out and giving you a good time. And then I want to do the same thing tomorrow or whenever you have free time. I want to do that for as long as you will let me." 

"Oh wow," you breathe, taken aback by his declaration. "That's kind of a lot." 

"I know, but I don't want my intentions to be unclear. I wasn't lying when I said I've had my eye on you for a while. I'm happy to go at whatever pace you need; I'll do whatever you want. However, if this was all just getting back at your ex and proving a point. If you can't see yourself wanting anything more with me past tonight again, I need to know." Now, Jake takes his turn playing with your fingers as he breaks eye contact to stare at where you're intertwined. "I'll happily let you break my heart, but I don't want to be blindsided by it. 

Surging forward, you pull Jake in to kiss you again. It's an awkward angle, and the way the truck makes you taller than him feels odd. However, none of that matters when his lips are so pliable against yours. 

"I don't want to break your heart," you tell him between kisses. "I want to go on dates with you, and I want to go home with you. I want to go to bed with you and do it more than once if we find out we are compatible." 

"Are you doubting our compatibility?" Jake asks, raising an eyebrow. 

"Not really, but you know it's better to make sure with these things. Have to double check, I think." 

"That makes sense," he concedes. 

"Now let's get some food so you can take me home and then to bed. Show me these killer skills you mentioned earlier." 

"We can do a lot tonight, but we can't sleep together," Jake says mournfully.

"Why not?" You ask confused. 

"Everyone knows you don't sleep together until the third date," Jake drawls.

"That's a cliche. Plus, why does it really matter?" 

"Because I've been dreaming about forever with you, and when you want forever with someone, you don't want to skip any steps." Jake answers, dead serious and earnestly. It makes you wish you weren't in such an awkward position in the truck. If you were still outside pressed against it, or in the bar even, it would be so much easier to show him the appreciation and affection burning inside. 

"We've got to be somewhere near the third date by now. We have tonight and that camping trip we went on. Oh, and that one time that everyone went bowling. Plus, there was that bonfire a few months ago!" You say, trying to think of occasions you and Jake had spent a good amount of time together. While considering it, you also realize he has nearly always gravitated to your side during group interactions, and going off tonight, that clearly wasn't as coincidental as you had previously thought. 

"You deserve real dates," Jake responds with conviction, and the look in his eye really isn't something you can or even want to argue with. There isn't anything wrong with someone wanting to act like a gentleman with you; it's actually flattering, especially when it's clear Jake isn't going to play any guessing games with you concerning his feelings. 

"Well, then we are wasting time when we could be on our first date," you say, pressing another peck to his lips and lightly pushing him away from you. 

"One last kiss," Jake whispers as he lurches close again for another peck. Then, he gently closes your door and jogs over to the driver's seat, asking where you want to get a bite to eat. 

The two of you end up at a fancy Italian restaurant where you share an appetizer, bottle of wine, and dessert. During dessert, Jake insists you pose for a picture. Despite your initial resistance, he convinces you, and then, nearly as soon as he takes it, your phone lights up with a notification telling you that you’ve tagged you in his story. He tells you before you even ask that he hopes your friends looked him up on Instagram but requests that you repost it on your own just in case they didn't. He claimed it's so they know he's not kidnapped you, but you suspect that it's more likely he wants to prove a point. And it's something you don't mind one bit, especially when he easily lets you post a picture of him on your own story. 

After the restaurant, Jake drives you both out of town a bit to where the sky is much clearer and the stars are visible. The evening isn't warm enough to cuddle in the truck bed like he wanted, so instead, you end up in the backseat with the moon roof completely rolled back. You manage to pretend to be looking at the stars for about three whole minutes before crawlingl into Jake's lap to kiss him. 

Before the making out can get too heated, Jake grips your chin, urging your face upwards to look through the moonroof. Gruffly, he mutters into your ear, telling you to behave. Words that only make you squirm in your newfound place sitting on his lap. He lets you stay there, though, his hands steady on your hips, and his lips leisurely brushing yours or your neck whenever inspiration strikes. 

"What were you doing out tonight looking so nice?" You wonder absentmindedly, unbuttoning the top button of Jake's shirt. It's not with an ulterior motive. Really, it's because Jake's shirt is so soft, and the top of it is hiding his dog tags from you, which you have suddenly decided is unacceptable. The new skin exposed to you is just an added benefit. 

"Ah, nothing to worry about darlin'." 

"Common, you can tell me," you say, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. 

"You know, whinnies?" 

It takes you a moment to place the restaurant and remember that it's across the street from the bar where you met up with your friends. "The wine bar?" 

"Yeah," Jake confirms. "Well, I was on a date there." 

"Oh." When Jake doesn't say anything, you decide you have to push the conversation forward. "So, what happened to your date? Were they not nice?"

"No, she was real sweet," Jake says, and you feel your stomach drop as if you aren't in the back of his truck and sitting in his lap right now.

"So why did you end up at Gem's?" 

"I was checking Instagram before she got there, and I saw you post that you were at Gems, right across the street. And no matter how nice she was, I knew it wasn't fair that I was thinking of a different person the whole time. So, we didn't even make it through appetizers before I had to be honest with her about that, and then I swung by Gems, hoping I would bump into you." 

"You were at the bar just to see me?"

"Sure was. So imagine my surprise when you found and approached me first."

"How would it have gone if you had approached me first?" You wonder. 

"For one, I would have offered to buy you a drink before stealing a kiss," Jake says teasingly. 

"You're not going to let that go, are you?" 

"Probably not for a while," he tells you. You groan and hide your face in his neck as if that will save you from some of the embarrassment. Feeling his chuckles in his throat and rumble in his chest is soothing, and you pepper more kisses to his neck and collarbone as if you were tracing the sound.

"You wouldn't have left without a kiss, though?" 

"I wouldn't have left without seeing you, and I would have done everything to try and convince you to give me one," Jake promises. 

"How would you have kissed me for the first time?" 

"Are you asking for another demonstration?" he wonders. As soon as you nod in affirmation, he pulls you close, repositioning you on his lap so you're straddling him. The darkness of the truck makes it so you can't quite see how green his eyes are, despite that they are still somehow bright.  He holds eye contact with you for a long moment. His hand cups your cheek, and like earlier in the night, he pauses, not closing the gap, observing you close. When you try to lean forward and seal your lips, he backs his head away. Then he chastises you while wearing a smirk, "I'm goin' to kiss you, baby. Now, let me do it how I want." 

Anticipation tingles in you as Jake leans close; however, at the last minute, he swerves, pressing a kiss to your cheek, then the other cheek, your forehead, and your nose. Finally, his lips meet yours firmly. Closing your eyes, you sigh into the kiss. The feeling of being intimately connected to Jake again is nearly the same as relief. When your mouth opens, Jake licks into you, searching out your tongue with his own. 

There no longer seems to be any will in Jake to tamper down the heat of your kissing. He allows you each time you push the envelope of the moment being just the soft sweet first date kissing he initially claimed to want. As he sucks on the sweet spot, her discovers on your neck, the way you grind downwards is involuntary and completely by accident. A low moan comes from Jake, and you like the way it sounds. So, the next time you grind down on him, it's completely intentional. 

The dark slacks he is wearing don't do much to conceal his hardened length. After a few more rolls of your hips, Jake's hands tightly grip your waist helping you grind against him. He urges you into a rhythm that has whimpers, moans, and gasps passing from both your mouths between hot kisses. As you try to speed up, frantic lust beating so loud you can hear it in your ear, he doesn't let you. Though you are on top of him, there is no doubt that Jake is in complete control. 

Just from this night, it's not difficult to imagine how he will be in the bedroom. Strong,  consuming, and in control. You can picture how he will confidently lead you exactly where you want to go, and you will get there because just a back of the car's make-out shouldn’t cause someone to be as turned on as you are right now. You unbutton his shirt and let your hands roam over his chest. Dragging your nails along his abs causes a full body shudder and Jake to grip your ass so hard you think you might bruise. It doesn't bother you, though, because how can anything that gets you closer to his cock be a bad thing? 

“Jake,” you say in a sudden moment of clarity. He hums his acknowledgment but keeps kissing at your neck and squeezing at your ass. A particularly hard thrust upwards from him nearly has your brain going fuzzy as you desperately try to hold yourself together.  “Jake,” you repeat more forcefully, “we need to stop.” 

“What’s wrong?” He asks concerned, detaching his lips from your skin and losing his hold so he is barely touching you. 

“If we keep at this I'm going to beg you to fuck me right here right now,” you answer. He makes a strangled groan. With his swollen lips, lust filled eyes, and hard dick you're sure he wouldn't actually mind. “Which would be amazing but you told me about a three date rule and I agreed.” 

“I did say three dates,” he responds and looks like he hates himself for it. 

“But if it doesn't actually matter I would like to suck your cock at least once before we fuck.” You boldly tell him, twisting his dog tags in your fingers pulling them taut against Jake’s neck until the release beads give away. The chain falls into your grasp, and you use the warm metal to distract yourself. 

“Fuck me,” he breathes throwing an arm over his eyes and leaning back. “You're perfect, you know that?” 

“I'm not.” 

“You are. So perfect, so hot.” He kisses you like he's about to ignore what you just said. Hot and a little sloppy with tongue and a bit at your lower lip. When he pulls away he rests his forehead against yours saying, “We are going to stop now  because I don't want there to ever be a doubt in your mind that I'll keep the promises I make to you.”

Your stomach flips with affection, and you sag, leaning heavily into Jake, just hugging him tightly, waiting for the lust that's sparked to cool. The two of you even manage to get some actual stargazing in where hands roam but in more so in an exploratory way than sexual. 

Holding hands driving back into the city you can’t stop staring at Jake’s profile, or admiring his fingers or tracing the veins of his forearms. You are focusing on trying to convince yourself that this isn’t a dream, you're definitely going to wake up with hickies in the morning, and another date with Jake Seresin scheduled tomorrow. It’s something that if you had been told at the start of your evening, you would have laughed at the absurdity of the idea. 

"I know it's really soon, but do you think that if you asked me again in a few weeks if I'm still single, we'll be able to change my answer?" Jake asks you after a bit breaking the comfortable silence you two had been in. 

"I think that's possible. What do you think about that?" You wonder. 

"I would change my answer tonight if you wanted me to."

"Jake..."

"Listen, I really like you, and I don't see that changing anytime soon. So as soon as you give me the okay, I will bring you flowers with a promise ring and ask if you want to go steady with me." Jake's thumb rubs along your pulse affectionately, "I'll change my Facebook relationship status. I'll get a nice little charm with your name on it for my dog tags. I'll take you to meet my friends and brag about how amazing you are." Jake leans over at a red light to press a soft kiss to your lips. "The whole shebang." 

"That sounds nice. Does that deal have a special name, too?" 

"Yeah, we can call it the Jake special. It is a whole package, long-term, all-inclusive deal." 

"Extended warranty?" You check jokingly.

"It actually has a no-return, no-refund policy," Jake answers.

"That's a pretty big commitment," you whisper back, even though the idea of keeping Jake all to yourself sounds nothing but appealing. 

"It's not something that expires. So how about tonight, we just worry about getting you home where you're going to let me walk you to your front door and give you a kiss goodnight."

"Just one kiss?" You ask in a pretend pout. 

"Let's shoot for two, but don't be surprised if it's three, maybe even four." 

"I want five," you declare stubbornly.

"Then I'll give you six," he easily offers. 

You try to hide your smile but don't quite manage it. It's a permanent fixture the whole drive home and during all seven of the goodnight kisses you get. They aren't the best kisses in the world because Jake is smiling through them, too. It's okay, though, because you both know there's going to be more in the future, a lot more. 

#jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #jake seresin x you #Hangman x you #hangman fic

[mellowwillowy]

Posting this dusty boring draft.

Yan! Lawyer Husband: *Holds you by the shoulders* I heard that you have been troubled by someone lately, dear. Care to tell me who?

Spouse Reader: Just... a noisy socialite... she had been getting on my nerves recently, always cornering me...

Yan! Lawyer Husband: ... I heard that she's been fueling the public opinion concerning your involvement in her lover's murder case no?

Spouse Reader: It truly was unfortunate, I was only there as an eye witness but she wouldn't stop herding the public opinion... Hey... I won't be trialed for this right?

Yan! Lawyer Husband: ... (It's hard to say no to that question.) *smiles* even if you are to be trialed for this case, I will be there as your lawyer, do you doubt your husband's capability?

Spouse Reader: Of course not! I know well that you are the best lawyer to ever exist! You've never lost a case no?

Yan! Lawyer Husband: Exactly *pats your head* Now how about you get some rest while I take a look in the files of this case? I think I've gotten a gist of what to do here ^^

Contrary to how he usually deals with things that are related to his spouse, he did not kill the socialite but instead, decided to herd the public opinion just like what the socialite did.

Yulian figured that killing the socialite would do no good and only harm Darling's reputation even more. Alas, he decided to commit strings of fraud that were targeted at the socialite.

While slowly tainting her reputation, Yulian started to fabricate a few pieces of evidence while erasing Darling's record during the day of the crime to minimize the chances of being convicted guilty of this trial.

"Why should the public not suspect you of killing your lover because he knew what you had done?" The woman's face turned red as she clenched her jaw tightly, "What are you trying to say, Adam?"

It didn't take much to flick the domino block down. After all, the months spent on this one case were finally reaching their climax during the third trial. The trial in which the table had turned in favor, was a trial which was won by Yulian.

Upon further investigation, it was revealed that the socialite had been involved in distributing drugs which involved the deceased. The motive of the murder was that the socialite did not want to share the profit with her lover, alas killing him to hold the whole business in her grasp.

"... cliche." You mumbled to yourself as you waited for your husband to finish all the files that had to be submitted. "As expected of a lawyer, serving yet another injustice."

#Yulian the Corruption #Yandere x Reader #x GN reader #Yandere Scenarios #LIfE Project

[talkdutchtome]

Bad Idea Right? - Daniel Ricciardo

pairing . . . daniel ricciado x reader )

genre . . . smut )

summary . . .it had been three months seen you had seen your ex boyfriend, you had done everything in your power to get over him, so why does it only take daniel to look your way before you’re putty in his hands once again )

song . . . bad idea right? - olivia rodrigo )

warning . . . smut, 18+ MINORS DNI, choking, rough sex, spitting in mouth, use of the words slut and whore, degradation, face slapping, dacryphilia, fingering, oral (f receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, use of petnames, not proofread )

word count . . . 3200 words )

a/n . . .i'm still pretty new to writing smut so this probably isn't fantastic but i've had it sitting in my drafts half done since guts first came out so i just wanted to get it done )

Haven't heard from you in a couple of months  But I'm out right now and I'm all fucked up  And you're callin' my phone and you're all alone  And I'm sensing some undertone 

The second you saw him across the crowded club, you knew the months of progress and moving on would be for nothing. He looked better than ever, the tight white shirt he wore complemented his tan skin and made you press your thighs together. Daniel Ricciardo ended things with you 3 months ago because your relationship, though full of love, became extremely toxic; with the two of you constantly going through the vicious circle of arguing and then fucking to make up. It hurt to be without him as you truly believed the two of you were meant to be together but after months without him, you had finally started to believe that you could live without him; that was until you walked into a nightclub and found the Australian sat in the VIP section with two absolutely beautiful women sat either side of him.  

Suddenly you were the 22-year-old girl that met Daniel three years ago, immediately transfixed by him and willing to do anything for his attention. You knew he knew you were there, when Max saw you, he waved and called you over, but you just waved and gestured to the bar, telling him that you were getting a drink. Still living in a post-breakup world, you had gotten especially dressed up for tonight; hoping to find someone who would help you forget about the Formula 1 driver who still had a hold on your heart. You wore a lilac lace minidress that hugged your curves tightly, it was brought for you by Daniel, but you didn’t see the need to throw out a perfectly good dress just because of whose money purchased it. Point was, you looked hot as hell and you knew it too, so you didn’t mind going over to the table your ex sat at, only to talk to Max though of course.  

When he saw you walking over, he felt his mouth get dry and annoyingly, his trousers get tight. He had always loved you in that dress and now that he knew he couldn’t have you, you looked even better. He watched you talk to Max, laughing at all his jokes and batting your pretty little eyes at the Dutchman just like you used to at him. He also watched Max’s eyes watching you, he watched his friend practically eye-fuck his ex-girlfriend whilst he sat across from them. The girls sat next to him were now completely forgotten, all Daniel could focus on was you. When Max went up to the bar to get the next round, Daniel knew this was his chance; he scooted around the table until he was sat next to you and began to whisper in your ear.  

“He wants you, you know”  

You scoffed at your ex-boyfriend's words, you and Max may be flirting a little bit, but that’s all it was, not to mention that it was none of his business who wanted you anymore 

“Well maybe I want him to” You whispered back at him with a smirk, expecting that to knock him down a peg or two but instead you saw him smile back at you before taking a piece of paper out of his pocket and starting to write something down. 

“Yeah sure thing, but if you decide that you want to be fucked by someone who will actually make you cum tonight, heres my new address. I'll be waiting.” He told you before putting the piece of paper in your hands before getting up and walking away from you.  

And I pull up to your place on the second floor  And you're standing, smiling at the door  And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men  But I really can't remember when   

You held the piece of paper containing Daniel’s address in your palms as you paced back and forth outside the door to his apartment. You knew this was a bad idea, but you craved him so badly. You had slept with other people since your relationship ended but none of them compared to the way Daniel made you feel, and you didn’t realize just how badly touch starved you were until Daniel whispered those dirty words in your ear and you felt throbbing coming from between your legs. “Fuck it, it’s fine” You spoke aloud before finally knocking on the door. 

Daniel opened the door with a smirk painted on his face, he knew you would cave and follow him home. Seeing his face almost mocking you made you half want to turn around and walk home but half jump on him and let him fuck you senseless. Deciding on the latter, you walked past him into his home. Before you had a chance to say anything you were pressed up against the now closed front door with Daniel’s hand around your neck. 

“What a silly little whore you are, trying to fuck my best friend right in front of me, and in my favorite dress too” He tutted at you, smirking more when you kept quiet, unsure what to respond to the words he had spoken. 

“Do you really think he could fuck you like I can? Like anyone can fuck you like I can?” he asked you again, now starting to apply pressure to your throat with his fingers, you stayed quiet still saying nothing to the man in front of you. Suddenly you felt a sharp pain on your cheek, Daniel had slapped your face. 

“Answer me pretty girl” 

You could have cum right then and there; the issue with all of the sex you had been having post Daniel is that none of them knew how rough you liked it, and to finally have that feeling of a man stood in front of you getting ready to fuck you silly made your pussy quiver with anticipation. 

“No Danny, nobody can fuck me like you can” you responded, looking up to him through your long lashes, giving him the doe eyes that you know he was never able to resist.  

“You look so pretty babygirl” he spoke, bringing his hand away from your neck to your lips. He used his thumb to push your mouth open slightly, you opened it wider, knowing what he wanted. He spat in your mouth before using his hands to close your lips together again 

“Swallow” he ordered and you did without a second thought. You felt his hands move down your body, coming from your mouth, stopping briefly at your tits before they travelled down even further, eventually ending up between your legs. He pushed up your dress to your waist and sunk down to his knees.  

“Oh new panties sweetheart? Did one of your new fucktoys get you these?” 

“Maybe” you retorted at him, but before you could finish the word Daniel had ripped them off, literally 

ripped them off. He smirked at the sight of your glistening pussy, knowing that he had gotten you to the point of dripping without even touching you. He pushed his fingers through your folds, running his fingertips harshly across your clit before sinking two fingers straight into your core without giving you a second's warning. The involuntary squeal that left your lips only boosted Daniel’s ego, his smirk growing wider than you thought possible. The pleasure that you felt in the first ten seconds of him thrusting his tattooed fingers inside of you was greater than anything you had felt since the pair of you had broken up. Though just as quickly as he had started touching you, he stopped, leaving you a whimpering mess.  

“Such a slut aren’t you, so desperate for my dick” he taunted you, a low chuckle leaving his lips before he picked you up and threw you across his shoulders. 

“Ahh Danny what the fuck?” you asked, genuinely startled as he began to carry you to his bedroom, before throwing you down onto the bed.  

“Dress off” Daniel said, stood in front of where you laid, his eyes dark and focused on you. You thought about fighting him, to at least make it look like you’re not willing to give in to him too easily, to keep some pride; but the look he gave you sent shivers down your spine, you could feel the slickness building up between your thighs, you needed him, pride be damned. And if you thought Daniels eyes where dark and hungry before, it was nothing compared to the way he looked at you he towered over you on his bed. He looked like a man possessed when you slid off your dress, leaving you covered only by a black lace bralette that was swiftly removed by Daniel anyway. You opened your mouth to beg for him to touch you again, but you were swiftly cut off when his mouth crashed against yours, enveloping you in a earth-shatteringly good kiss that sent your mind swirling. The feeling of his lips against yours was one you would never grow tired of. The way his hands laced into your hair and his knee nudged your legs open made it hard for you to understand why you would ever willingly let this go.  

It was only when you started to grind yourself against his knee that he pulled his lips off of you. The way that he looked down at you as you cried out for him was sinful. His messy chocolate brown hair, his swollen lips turned up in smirk, his eyes usually so bright and happy now dark and stormy, full of lust. Every part of him turned you on more than any guy you had ever known. 

“Please Danny” your voice was horse; you were becoming desperate. 

“Please what Babygirl?” he spoke with a chuckle, he loved having you like this, like putty in his hands.  

“Make me feel good” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes, not above trying any trick that would get too closer to cumming. 

Daniel didn’t say anything to your request though, instead he just began pressing kisses on your lips, before slowly bringing his kisses down past your neck and chest, getting closer and closer to the place where you ached for him the most. This process lasted only a few moments, but those teasing moments felt like hours and when his tongue finally found your pussy you honestly felt like you had died and gone to heaven. He licked strips up your slit, savoring the taste of you, the taste that he had missed so much. Your hands found his hair as his lips attached themselves to your clit, the curls wrapping around your fingers as they had done so many times before. The way he sucked at and nibbled your clit made you see stars and you soon felt your first orgasm start to build up, that familiar feeling in your stomach making itself known.  

“Ahh Danny I’m going to cum, please let me cum” you begged him, although if he said no, you weren’t sure you would be able to avoid it anyway.  

“Sure, Babygirl you can cum all over my tongue, do you think Max could make you cum this hard” His words annoyed you, bringing up Max at this point was not necessary but before you could complain to him, he picked up the pace of his tongue and you quickly found yourself reaching climax, a string of profanity falling from your lips as you did so. The sounds you were making were music to Daniel’s ears, sounds that he wished he could hear for the rest of his life. If Daniel’s ego wasn’t big enough already, the way he had you falling apart in just a few minutes made his pride swell. You could walk away from him, pretend that you’d moved on and don’t want him anymore; but it’s him who knows your body better than you do, it’s him who knows exactly how to give you what you need to make your knees weak.  

Once he had made you feel good, he turned his attention to himself. The way you tasted, the way you sounded; you were his kryptonite, and he was becoming so hard that it had started to become painful. His rock-hard dick straining against his jeans made your mouth water, it had been far too long since you had felt the sting of him splitting you in half, and you didn’t want to wait any longer; so, when you saw him reach for his belt you felt your pussy quiver with anticipation. 

“Are you going to let me fuck you baby?” he asked as he began to pull his jeans down, revealing his grey boxers, damp from the way his cock had been seeping with precum. His underwear didn’t last long as they were the next thing to be removed, his length red and angry with how hard it was, how desperate for your touch it was. It had only been three months since you had last had him, but in that time, you had somehow forgotten just how big he was; it made you nervous, but it also made you that much more desperate to have him inside of you.  

“Yes, Danny please fuck me” At your words of conformation, he roughly manhandles you to flip you onto your stomach. You prop yourself up on your hands and knees immediately on instinct; you knew how he liked to fuck you, and you also knew that if you did what he wants than you’re more likely to be allowed to cum around his dick.  

“You’re such a good girl aren’t you baby; you know just how I want you don’t you” His hands fall to your ass, groping it and massaging it; savoring every moment of having you spread out in front of you, for all he knew this could be the last time that he has you like this so he was damn well going take his time.  

“What’s the safe word sweet girl?” he asked you as he runs his hands across your body, wanting to feel all of you.  

“Mclaren, please Danny, just fuck me I need you so bad” 

Without warning he plunges two of his fingers deep inside of you, sending shockwaves of pleasure ringing throughout your body. He pumped them inside of you roughly and without care, the sting from just his fingers stretching your cunt out making your eyes water and you felt that oh so familiar feeling of another orgasm creeping up on you embarrassingly fast, however that was all taken away when Daniel abruptly pulls his fingers out of you, making you whine; feeling empty from the loss of contact. That emptiness didn’t last for long though, because just as soon as he took his fingers out of you, he slammed his cock into you.  

Your cries filled the air and tears began to fall from your eyes as Daniel picked up his pace, still slamming himself inside of you despite your discomfort. His hand reaches around to grab your neck, pulling you up flush against his chest so he can see your face as he continues to wreck you. 

“You look so pretty when you cry you know that, such a pretty little slut” as he speaks his hand finds your clit, rubbing it harshly. The pain starts to subside as you get used to having him inside of you again and it is quickly replaced by insane pleasure. The groans falling from the Australians lips sounds heavenly and you can feel your second orgasm quickly approaching.  

“Don’t you dare cum, not until I say you can” Danny tells you, letting go of your neck and gently pushing your head down to the pillow. He’s fucked you countless times, so he knows your body, he knows the way that your pussy starts to clench when you’re close, he knows that you’ll purposely not say anything to try and get away with cumming even when he’s told you not to. He is an expert in the subject of you, and that’s information that he’ll always keep, regardless of how long the two of you spend apart. He knows you more than anyone ever has, and anyone ever will.  

“Oh, fuck fucking fuck you feel so good babygirl, you’re so tight for me” he said through gritted teeth, still slamming into you with all of his might, drunk on the feeling of you clenching around him, your moans and cries spurring something on in him. He didn’t want to admit it even to himself, but he had missed you more than anything, he had missed the way you feel, the way you taste, the way you sound. Everything about you was perfect and, in that moment, he decided that he would never let you go again. The thought of another man getting to have you like this made him sick to his stomach, the thought of someone like Max getting to hear the whimpers you make when you’re being fucked, it was unbearable. 

It was getting harder and harder for you to hold off your orgasm, Daniel was fucking you like a man possessed and sooner or later you were going to cum whether you were allowed or not, and he knew that, of course he did.  

“I’m so so close Danny, please please let me cum” You were begging, shame and pride had gone out the window when you turned up at his door after three months. 

“Okay baby, cum. I’m close too, I’m going to fill you up, okay? This is my pussy, and mine only” Daniel just about spoke through gritted teeth. The second those words left his mouth though; you were over the edge. The feeling was overwhelming, you couldn’t remember the last time you came so hard. Tears spilt from your eyes as fireworks went off in your lower stomach and your legs began to tremble. 

The combination of the sound of your cries and the feeling of your pussy contract around him had Daniel not far behind you. His hands gripped your hair in a makeshift ponytail as he picked up the pace one last time, fucking you so hard that you genuinely thought he was going to split you in half; his groans getting louder and his breaths getting deeper and more sparce until he spilled out into you.  

~~~~ 

  The morning sun filters through the blinds, casting a warm glow on the tangled sheets, Memories of the night before float hazily in your mind and you catch sight of Daniel sleeping soundly next to you. Truth be told you don’t even remember falling asleep, you must have just crashed after such an intense orgasm. Reaching over to check your phone, you notice multiple messages from your best friend asking where the hell you got to last night. You quickly send a message saying that you were so tired you just went home to sleep, before putting your phone back onto the nightstand and cuddling back up to the man beside you.  

But you never said where or in whose sheets 

#f1 x reader #formula 1 #f1 fanfic #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo smut #f1 smut #formula one smut #daniel ricciardo x you #f1 fanfiction #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 x you #formula one x reader #f1 fics #f1 imagine

[panthermouthh]

A Cornstalk Fiddle

(Part 1/?)

And here they are! The first three pages of a fan comic, based on @notbecauseofvictories brain altering fic 'A Cornstalk Fiddle'. Read more below if you're interested in where this comic came from and where it’s going :))

I've continuously returned to notbecauseofvictories’s writing over the years— if I ever feel lost in my own story telling when it comes to comics, poems or prose, notbecauseofvictories is one of those authour's whose work always reignites a creative spark in me, and I just wanted to make my own tribute to one of my favourite stories <33

I've had this all visually planned out in the back of my mind for a year now, and finally drafted the storyboards this summer. I can’t promise a timeline of when the next pages will be posted, hopefully over the next few months, but I’m planning on doing this whole scene and it should come to about ten. I hope you guys enjoy them and tell me what you think!

#a cornstalk fiddle #the devil went down to georgia #johnny and the devil #notbecauseofvictories #southern gothic #gothic art #comic #my comic #my art #i had The Pictures in my head too long and have become ill so i am drawing this comic now hahahah #trying to convey the Devils wierdness and power in art form is a challenge #he does love to shape shift #more to come soon i hope #having work that doesnt exhaust u with decent hours sure does wonders for the brain!

[whore444ellie]

fucking loser -loser!ellie <3

HI GUYS!? I wanted to write, (which I havent in a long time) but I wanted to write my take on loser!ellie, i feel like shes such me tbh, soooo yeahh. Srry if this is shit yall.

Ellie was a fucking loser. She had a helpless crush on you, always finding herself staring at your pretty face for too long when you guys were out on patrol or when you finally asked for her to hang out with you, dina, and jesse. She stuttered like a child. It was pathetic, to say the least, but it was cute. well, you thought it was cute. She always got red and flustered when you were around; you thought it was adorable, ellie being ellie thought it was a weakness. It wasn't like she could stop herself anyway.

Yesterday, Ellie finally mustered up the courage to ask you if you wanted to hang out—a date? No, no, she wasn't that brave, but you being you, teased her anyway :( "oh, so a date stargazing? You're so cute, els" you teased the poor girl as her cheeks blazed with excitement.That's how you guys ended up walking to a small field outside of Jackson, the moonlight casting a cool aura across your faces.

As you guys settled down on the grass, the field was damp with the spring rain that morning. A comfortable silence settled between you two, watching the stars above, but ellie couldn't stop staring at you as you guys shared headphones, listening to your playlist through each of the wires. She just couldn't keep her eyes off of you. You could feel her face on you, studying you like a piece of art. Scanning every freckle, scar just everything on your pretty face. "enjoy the view?" You taunted with that stupid, stupid fucking smile.

You turned your head to meet her eyes, she was smiling like a child in a candy store, it was such adorable, She had a piece of grass on her face; she clearly didn't notice, and, well, you just wanted to be sweet. right? You leaned in close to her, so close that she could feel your fucking breath on her face. She could feel the heat starting to work its way up her neck. She closed her eyes, waiting for your lips to meet hers. "Got it." You said cheerfully, plucking the price of grass off her face, and she released a deep breath of...disappointment?

Stupid, She was so fucking stupid, she thought, Why would you wanna ki- she got cut off by the feeling of your soft lips on hers, your hands gently holding her face in place. It felt like bliss; everything she imagined about kissing you and more, she felt warm and fuzzy, something Ellie hasn't felt in so long. You slowly pulled back with a smile on your face as you let a giggle rise out of your throat at how red ellie's face was. "was that okay?" You asked softly, and she could only let out an awkward chuckle, scratching the back of her neck and nodding her head like the fool she was.

such a loser.

HIIII!? Idk if that was good; I haven't written anything in so long. I really wanted this to be good; it's been sitting in my drafts for months. I've been contemplating posting it or not. Please let me know what you think!!!

#tlou part 2 #loser!ellie #ellie williams #first fic #lesbianism #wlw post #sapphic #ellie x reader #such a cutie #pathetic loser #loser ellie #ellie williams x reader #tlou ellie #ellie the last of us

[fiveht]

Proof of life (Adore pt 3)

Hello my sweet angel babies ♥️

I'm not going to be able to adequately express my gratitude for the steady stream of love (and concern, sorry) I've been receiving over the past couple of months. I'm so sorry I've been AWOL, it will definitely happen again. Because see, for me, I usually have to make a choice between social and creative fandom participation. My battery is small, and takes a long time to charge.

Thank you to everyone who's left comments and asks and DMs since I've been gone. I don't think I can respond to all of it, but rest assured those messages ping my cold, dead heart every time I see them.

So I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I did this same thing months and months ago, when I was working on Head Over Feet, and let me be clear: posting even a single word of a WIP goes against my every instinct and principle as an author. I am someone who likes to finish an entire story before I post any of it, and on top of that, I am NOT a fast writer, so the expectations that I'm setting up here might not be advisable. But I did it before and managed to finish the thing, and I want to give you guys something in exchange for being so unbelievably awesome, so here I am again.

This will probably be the only time I mention this story in public until it's finished and posted, and inquiries about my progress are unlikely to help with the writing process, I'm just saying. I reserve the right to change every last word of this before the final draft, and I also reserve the right to fall off the face of the planet and simply never finish it, as much as I will strive to prevent that from happening. Please be patient with me.

Anyway, here is my paltry offering to say thanks for the love: the (VERY rough) first ~1300 words of the third instalment of The Adventures of Soft Daddy and Danger Twink.

Sirius secures his handheld shower head to its holder at the edge of his clawfoot tub, and steps out carefully onto the bathmat. He shivers in the cool air outside the shower curtain; it's about twenty degrees below zero outside, so even if he could afford to run his ancient radiator at full blast, it probably wouldn't help much.

He dries himself off and checks his reflection in the mirror, turning his face this way and that as he tugs his hair out of the bun he'd piled it into to keep it dry during his shower. There's no need for makeup tonight, not when he's not even planning to put on clothes.

It's incrementally warmer when he steps out into the main room of his apartment. He gathers an array of splayed text books and notes from his bed and dumps them carelessly onto the couch, then closes his new laptop and places it delicately on the coffee table. It's the most expensive thing he owns, save for the Gucci backpack currently sitting in his wardrobe with a three-inch berth around it like his shoes and other bags might somehow contaminate it. It's weird owning rich-people stuff when you are still, objectively, broke as fuck.

He perches on the edge of his bed and sets his phone to charge, because his battery doesn't even last a day anymore, and he's going to need it this evening. He tucks it in next to his pillow and picks up his new toy.

The plug isn't much larger than the one he already has. A little longer, which is appealing, but no wider, so it shouldn't be a challenge to get it in comfortably. He disconnects it from its charger and hefts it in his hand, feeling the added weight from the electronics inside.

He picks up his phone, and hesitates when he sees the notification waiting for him.

Rieka: let's go out tomorrow

Rieka: the fact that we haven't been drunk since the term started is criminal

Rieka: we've had two chem labs and zero drinks

Sirius purses his lips, thumbs hovering over the keyboard. There's a fine line here, and he hasn't quite found it yet.

Me: got plans

Me: raincheck?

So complete avoidance is the best strategy, right?

Rieka: booooo 👎

He sighs, but at least she's not asking for an explanation. He opens a different conversation then, pushing all thoughts of Rieka Lupin into a tidy, sealed compartment, not to be opened during certain activities with a certain relative of hers.

Me: i'm ready

Me: are you in your office?

Daddy: Yup, I've got a few minutes

Daddy: Want me to call?

Instead of answering, Sirius hits the call button himself.

"Hey baby," Remus answers. His voice is already smooth and honey-sweet, and just from that, Sirius knows he's planning to lay it on thick tonight.

"Hi daddy," Sirius says with a smile. "Should I put it in now?"

There's a low chuckle over the line. "Are we feeling eager?"

"Always," Sirius says, laying back on his bed.

"Use the good lube I got you, it's gonna be in there a while."

He switches the call to speaker, and snags the bottle from his nightstand. "I threw out the old stuff, you've got me ruined for cheap lube."

"Only the best for that ass," Remus says, and Sirius can hear his smirk.

He gives the plug a liberal coating, running his fingers along its shape, his dick twitching just at the feel of the silky-smooth silicone, at the anticipation of what's about to happen. He spreads his legs wide, drawing one knee up to give himself easier access.

"Take it slow," Remus says, succinctly heading off Sirius' impulse to just shove the thing inside himself in one go. "Rub the tip against yourself, so you're nice and wet."

Sirius shuts his eyes as he obeys, sliding the slick end of the toy over his entrance. "Okay."

"Are you going to be a good boy for daddy tonight?"

"Uh-huh," Sirius says, teasing the very tip of the plug in and out of his hole.

"Tell me how."

"I'm not gonna touch."

"You're not gonna touch, and you're not gonna come."

"Yeah," Sirius says. His cock is starting to harden as his body tries to draw the plug inside. "Can I put it in, daddy?"

"Slow," Remus reminds him, "Slide it in nice and slow for me, baby."

Sirius catches his lip between his teeth and tries to push the plug in slowly, the way he knows Remus would do if he was here. 

The shower has left him relaxed and more than ready, and it's hard not to take advantage, just press the toy in to its limit because he can. But he's working on his patience -- under Remus' careful tutelage -- so he shuts his eyes and tries to savour it, the tease of the plug's rubber tip at his entrance, the slow stretch as he eases it past the slight resistance before he sighs, and his body eagerly accepts the intrusion.

"Mmmm," Sirius sighs as he settles the base of the plug flush against his entrance, shifting his hips and feeling the constant, dull pressure against his prostate.

"How's it feel?" 

"Good," Sirius says, splaying his legs out and just enjoying the pleasant fullness. It's been almost a week since Remus last fucked him, and that's just way too long. Christmas really spoiled him. He tugs the blankets up around him, because it's going to take some time before his body temperature is high enough to fight against the chill in his apartment.

"Have you tried out the settings at all?" Remus asks him, and Sirius picks up the phone, switching off speaker and holding it to his ear.

"No," he says, grinding his ass down against the bed to test the plug's reach inside him. "I thought you'd rather do the honours."

Remus hums, and Sirius hears the phone shifting in his grip. "I'm gonna turn it on, okay? Lowest setting."

"O--" Sirius stutters as the plug buzzes to life inside him, nestled snug against his prostate and sending little zings of pleasure down his legs. "Fuck that feels good. That's the lowest setting?"

"It is," Remus confirms. "Want to run through them all, see how high it goes? Or would you rather be surprised?"

"Mmmm, surprise me."

"Surprise it is," Remus says, and Sirius hears shuffling papers in the background as he prepares for his night class. Psychology 1001, Thursdays, 7-9:30PM. Two and a half hours of a lecture that Remus swears he's given so many times he could recite it in his sleep, so why not give himself something fun to focus on while he goes through the motions? 

Being privy to all of this brilliant, upstanding man's secret perversions is a privilege Sirius does not take lightly.

"You can turn it off from the app if you need to," Remus is saying, "Or you can call me and I'll switch it off. My phone's on vibrate, so I'll see it right away."

Sirius smiles to himself. "Got it," he says, though this is a rehashing of the rules that Remus had laid out when he'd brought the plug over last weekend. He'd called it a "late Christmas gift", as if he hadn't already given Sirius several thousand dollars worth of presents on Christmas morning.

There's more rustling over the line, the squeak of a chair. 

"Tell me again how you're going to be good tonight."

"I'm not gonna touch myself, and I'm not gonna come." The toy is still buzzing away inside him, making everything a little fuzzy at the edges. 

"Tell me why."

"'Cause daddy's in charge, even when he's not here."

"Good boy."

Sirius squirms with pleasure, his cock smearing a little drop of fluid on his belly as the toy hums insistently at his prostate.

"I have to head out," Remus says. "How do you feel?"

"Good," Sirius says, his abs tensing as he shifts his legs and the angle of the toy changes. "Excited."

"Me too," Remus says softly. "I'll talk to you soon, beautiful. Send me some pictures." With a low beep, the call disconnects.

#and i disappear into the night once again #turned off anon asks for the time being #sorry i love you guys i'm just awkward

[poppadom0912]

Excuses

Warnings: Mentions of fainting, diabetes, canon-typical injuries

Summary: You suffer the consequences just because your teacher thought you were making excuses.

A/N: First fic of 2024!!! I had plans that I was going to post weekly in the new year just like last year but things went downhill. This january and february has had its very good but also really bad moments and even writing this was a struggle. I've found myself in a weird place of wanting to write but struggling and all of a sudden not being able to balance my schoolwork and writing. So I took a lil step back to solely focus on my work but looking at everything now, my fic updates will be much less frequent but hopefully just as or if not, more fun to read.

I feel bad for not saying or posting anything since the new year but I'm here now and hopefully will be more alive. I've got lots planned for you beautiful people, several series and way too many fics in my drafts that I cannot wait for you all to read. This wasn't as long or as juicy as I intended but my brain completely failed me so I hope this is good enough. I initially wanted to post this at the beginning of March but I finished the final editing today so here you go!!

Final note before we start, I have general knowledge about diabetes but that's all from my grandma. I have no idea if it's the same for teenagers so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Happy reading!!

Your biology teacher had been on maternity for three weeks now and you were seriously contemplating life.

Because of the crappy rules surrounding maternity leave, when your teacher refused to return before her three months ended, your school had a supply teacher fill in for her till she came back.

Since day one, you knew you hated her.

It was mid lesson and you knew as soon as you started feeling sluggish that your sugar levels were dropping. Your thoughts were only confirmed when your Dexcom receiver let you know of your decreasing glucose.

This wasn't a usual occurrence. Will and Jay always made sure you had eaten enough and you had the means to maintain the needed glucose levels so that nothing happened.

Alas, you were up late revising and you were stressing about keeping up your good grades. Jay was rushing you out the door because he needed to go to a scene he'd just been called to and Will was out walking Kol and hadn't seen you leave.

In conclusion, it'd been a hot minute since you last ate something.

The school were well aware of your diabetes. It was one of the very important things your brothers stressed them about when you first started.

Most students knew about it actually, having seen your Dexcom and not understanding since a diabetic child apparently wasn't common according to them.

So, when you randomly pulled out a snack from your bag mid class, no one questioned it and instead would make sure you were okay. There'd never been a problem before in school and everyone wanted it to stay that way.

However, this new teacher, Mrs Byrne was apparently completely unaware of your medical condition.

"Y/N. You know the rules about eating in class." She said strictly, pulling away all the attention from the board onto you.

She stopped you in the middle of opening the packet of fruit gummies. You frowned, looking at her confused along with your classmates.

"I have diabetes." You said bluntly, continuing to open the packet. "I don't eat this and I'll pass out."

Mrs Byrne only rolled her eyes, smiling at you condescendingly. "I've heard that excuse hundreds of times, give those to me."

You scoffed at the audacity, refusing to hand over what was yours.

It was when she started walking towards your desk with a pep in her step that the entire class got involved. Their raised voices overlapped, some angrier than others over what was happening.

However, you too were Stubborn alike to your brothers so you kept as firm of a grip of the packet. You turned a blind eye to the anger fuelled cover teacher. You continued to smile as she spewed threats of all sorts.

Due to your frustration and annoyance over the teacher who wanted to take your gummies away, you didn't notice how everything started change; how hard it was to move your eyes and lips, your limbs getting heavier and you thoughts slowly getting muddled up.

Lost in a daze, you were no longer able to fight back when she pulled harder, successfully snatching the small packet out of your hands. It was now that the class got furious, your friends were already up and at your side but now they were verbally attacking the teacher.

Fed up with her petty behaviour, you were going to get up and go to the nurses office who would take care of you but getting out your seat was harder said than done.

With one of your friends help, you weren't too sure who was helping you from your hazy sight that cleared when you blinked too many times.

You were wobbly on your feet, taking slow and hesitant steps towards the front of the classroom but before you could leave, you felt your legs give out and everything went black.

*****

It turned out that supposed crime scene that he was imminently needed at was nothing but a prank by a bunch of college boys resulting in a grumpy Hank putting them in cuffs and having them fined for a very reasonable reason.

That's how the rest of the unit found themselves finishing up paperwork, catching up about life in general as they debated what they were getting for lunch.

Jay was smugly sitting back, eyes flickering between Kevin and Adam who were bickering over something trivial when his phone rung, catching everyone's attention.

They were all so bored and normally when one of their phones went off during work hours, it meant something came up and they were needed.

In interest, everyone turned their heads towards Jay and waited for him to tell them they got a crime scene.

Picking up his phone, Jay's brows furrowed at the number, confused as to why your school was calling him in the middle of the day. They'd only call him if two things happened: You'd gotten in trouble or you got hurt.

"Hello. Is this Y/N Halsteads brother Jay?" A voice he couldn't recognised asked, most likely some lady from the main office.

"Yeah, that's me." Jay confirmed, sitting up in preparation for whatever he was going to be told.

"So sorry to interrupt you sir but Y/N collapsed in class." The lady said with guilt laced in her words. "Your other brother didn't pick up the phone. We called to let you know we had to call the paramedics and they've taken her to Chicago Med."

"Uh yeah." Jay said, collecting his jacket and keys. "Yes, thank you."

Not waiting for a reply, Jay hung up and quickly knocked on Hank's office door frame.

"Sarge, I gotta get Y/N-"

"Go get her. We're done here."

*****

Wanting to pull his hair out, Will rubbed his eyes in frustration, glaring at his patients scans that only confused him further. He was tired and was coming to half way through his twenty four hour shift.

"Dr Halstead- Uh, Dr Rhodes in T4." Maggie stumbled, looking down at her brick and making sure she read it correctly.

"What's wrong?" Will asked, confused as to why Maggie changed her mind which she usually never did.

"It's Y/N."

Now fully awake, Will followed Connor towards the ambulance bay where you were being rolled in. You were groggily sitting up on the stretcher, you hair a mess and a few scratches around your face and hands from when you fell.

"Sylvie, what happened?" Will asked the blonde paramedic while looking you over. He desperately wanted to check you over himself but let Connor do his thing. He really did not need Ms Goodwin on his case today.

"Teachers didn't tell us much but her classmates said she collapsed after not being able to eat." Sylvie relayed the minimal information she knew, shrugging her shoulders when the two doctors looked at her weirdly. "No one would tell us anything more."

"Y/N, it's Connor. Can you hear me kid?" Connor said while pulling out his penlight. He was like another brother to you, his concern just as high. "Can you tell me what happened?"

You groaned, mumbling nonsense with your eyes screwed closed. Your words were mostly unintelligible but Will understood them mere seconds later.

Fixing the problem you complained about, Will turned down the lights and let Connor continue fussing over you.

It didn't take long to find out the cause of your collapse, Will sighing at the news when he read the numbers from your tests.

"I thought she was always on top of her sugar levels." Connor said, closing the room door so you could sleep in peace.

And what he said was completely true but they weren't aware of why you couldn't today specifically of all days.

"She is." Will said, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. "Maybe her dexcom malfunctioned or something."

Connor hummed, agreeing with his friend.

"Hmm, maybe."

*****

Arriving at Med, Will gave Jay a detailed rundown of everything he new about your medical state but also the events pre your hospital arrival.

Getting a good look at you, holding your hand in his and kissing you on your forehead, Jay was more than happy to leave you in your oldest brothers safe hands while he got to the bottom of this entire ordeal.

He noticed Sylvie was still at Med, Foster mentioning they were running low on a few supplies so they needed some stocking up. Jay took this opportunity to interview the two paramedics and try to get further understanding on this situation that wasn't making much sense to him.

Arriving at your school, Jay had some thoughts in mind but they weren't very concrete and his confidence wasn't as strong as he'd like it to be.

Walking into the school, Jay immediately noticed an entire class sitting and standing around in the corridor waiting in front of the principals office.

One of the girls who had been sitting in a chair had caught sight of Jay, her eyes widening before she smiled, gently nudging the girl next to her and pointing in his direction. The girls reaction was the exact same.

This created a sort of domino effect as the boy next to her noticed Jay and everyone was telling the other of his sudden arrival. The once silent corridor was now beginning to fill with murmurs and whispers, all their eyes glued onto his figure that moved down the corridor, their shocked faces quickly changing into smiles and smirks.

It seems that Jay had a reputation of sorts.

"Why are you making so much noise? What did I just say about talking-"

The principal cut himself off from his scolding when he suddenly noticed Jay's presence, his face blanching as all the pieces clicked into place.

"Detective Halstead! What a surprise, we weren't expecting to see you so soon-"

This time Jay cut him off, not too bothered about his lack manners. "My brothers with Y/N at the hospital so I thought there was no other perfect time."

The principal remained silent.

"Now, why don't you explain to me why my sister fainted under your watch?"

The students behind Jay couldn't help but snicker knowingly.

#onechicago #one chicago x reader #one chicago imagine #halstead sister #jay halstead #will halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead oneshot #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x sister!reader #will halstead x reader #will halstead imagine #will halstead x sister!reader

[wordbunch]

a little secret (Bilbo x f!reader)

a/n: my brain wrote this on its own while i re-watched the hobbit trilogy twice within like, a week, so... there is that!! it's been sitting in my drafts for months??? anyway it's just a fluffy little piece cause he is an absolute cinnamon roll (i've been neglecting him too much and i'm gonna fix it) 💖 let me know ur thoughts and opinions, and please be so kind to reblog? 🥺 i'm exciteddd to be back and figuring out new things to post!

Yet another all-day-long march was behind them, and the setting sun signaled that it was time to set up camp for the night, and rest, as much as it was possible by sleeping on the ground and eating tiny portions of anything that was at all edible.

[y/n] let her weighty bag plop down onto the rough forest terrain and she let out a weary sigh, stretching her back and arms as much as it was humanly possible, wishing she could stretch away the negative feelings and thoughts that plagued her mind on that particular day.

As soon as Bilbo neatly stored his belongings near the bark of a tree, which seemed like a moderately comfortable spot to take a break in, his eyes keenly followed the movements and expressions of his beloved, who was uncharacteristically quiet and perhaps even sorrowful during the day. Normally she would put her things next to his and enjoy the few short hours of peace, but this time she just tossed them onto a random patch of grass and turned her back to him and the rest of the company, who were already discussing dinner. Before anyone asked her to weigh in with her opinion, she took the chance to walk away and among the trees, away from the commotion of the dwarves. 

Bilbo's curious eyes followed the shape of her in the shadows as long as they could, but soon enough she was out of sight and, inevitably, he began to worry immediately. As much as he wanted to let her have a few minutes of silence and contemplation, it was too dangerous for any of them to go wandering around alone, especially while exhausted in every way; so his anxiety got the best of him, and even though it was nice to finally sit down for a moment, he had to make sure she was alright.

She was expecting he would follow after her shortly, as she stood among the trees and hugged her own arms for extra warmth; trees were swaying in a chilly breeze as the last rays of sun painted them in saturated hues. The moment she heard some shuffling she turned around cautiously, but sighed in relief at the sight of her favorite (as a matter of fact, the only one she knew) hobbit. A small smile stretched her lips, without quite reaching her eyes, and that’s all it took for Bilbo to all but run to her and pull her close.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” he spoke, albeit a little bit breathlessly, as soon as he reached the taller woman. “All day you have been acting…differently.” He murmured with caution, hoping not to offend her with his probing.

[y/n] released a shaky breath and shook her head slightly, looking down at his hands on her waist. Even though she felt like she would start crying if she spoke up, she didn’t want Bilbo to think she was keeping something from him; she knew him well enough to know he would surely overthink it later in the night, instead of sleeping.

“You know you can tell me anything,” he urged her in a soft voice, reaching up to her cheek and stroking it with the back of his hand. “Even if it’s about something that i’ve done,” he added, half-jokingly.

After a string of rough days packed with danger and uncertainty, she was rather moved by the display of tenderness, and she felt her lower lip quiver. At last her eyes, that were brimming with tears and exhaustion, met his, and he let out a quiet gasp. [y/n] could swear he looked like he could start crying only at seeing her like that.

“i just- I cannot,” she confessed shakily, while he pulled her as close to him as possible, “I cannot really handle all of this right now. I’m so tired, a-and there are so many terrifying things going on all the time, and it seems like this whole undertaking might never end, and I just can’t,” she rambled on, trying her best to fight the tears that wanted to spill. The grip she had on the hobbit’s shoulders was so strong, as if he was going to evaporate if she let him go. It was terrible for him to see her feeling that way, and for a second he felt a stab of guilt - maybe he was failing her - but he had to fix it as soon as he could. Both of his hands found a way to her tear stained face, and he gazed at her with so much love and understanding that she could have melted right in that moment. [y/n] wrapped her fingers around one of his wrists to ground herself in reality.

“My beautiful flower, most beautiful in all the world,” Bilbo began, speaking so lowly that only she could hear him, “do you want to know a little secret?” he raised his eyebrows with a playful glint in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. If he couldn’t make her smile, then what was the point of anything at all? She immediately recognized a small attempt at cheering her up, and her heart fluttered in her chest. she really considered herself lucky amid all the chaos.

“Yes, dearest,” she sniffed, but the beginning of a smile was playing on her lips too.

"I can’t either,” he chuckled airily, with a small shake of his head, “but with you by my side, maybe I can. And all of this has been… well, insane, to say the least, but it won’t last forever. I mean, I really hope so.” [y/n] finally laughed, and a tremendous weight was lifted off of his chest. Bilbo stood a little taller as he looked up at her with more hopeful eyes.

“But sometimes insane things lead to beautiful things, I suppose,” he continued, still cradling her face as if it was made of the finest glass, and his smile was contagious as she let those words sink in. “Trust me, I would love nothing more than to be at home with you right now, holding you close, wrapping you in blankets when you get cold, bringing you breakfast every. single. morning,” he accentuated his words with three taps of his finger to the tip of her nose, and her giggle warmed him up from his curls to his toes. “And look at the stars with you on every clear night, and read by the fire together, and chase away visitors because I want you only to myself…” he trailed off, suddenly very aware that she was looking at him with such open love that he needed to remind himself to breathe before continuing. “And, petal, I promise you, very soon we will be doing exactly that, we just need to finish up this-this little dwarven errand.” 

[y/n] all but threw herself over him in a haphazard hug, drawing out a startled laugh from the hobbit.

“Thank you,” she muttered into his hair. “I cannot wait to do all those things with you.”

“Anything for you, my love,” he replied, “and until then… even if we can’t, we can’t together.”

-

✨

taglist my beloved @starlady66 @queenmeriadoc @entishramblings @thesolarangel @silversword7000 @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @averys-place @valkyriepirate @emmaarenstarr @noldorin-painter @asianbutnotjapanese @adamgetawaydriver @fenharel-enaste @ironmandeficiency @starryeyedrogue @dinofromspac3 @wisheduponastar @lady-of-imladris @frodo-cinnamonroll @unethicallypleistocene @deadlymistletoe @suncran @high-sea-husbands @asianbutnoteastasian @aidansloth @moth-makay

@bubbleyukismile @kitexvi @herstudios @babe-bombadil

#the hobbit fanfiction #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit #lotr #lotr x reader #lord of the rings x reader #bilbo baggins #bilbo baggins x reader #bilbo baggins imagine #lord of the rings #from my pocketses #bilbo x reader

[leviismybby]

Wishful Thinking

What about when the Captain starts having dirty thoughts about you?

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem!reader

Warning: NSFW 18+, minors dni, Levi being thirsty for you.....

A/N: I finished a lot of things in my drafts and that's why I have been posting a lot...

It starts off pretty normal, in his mind you were an attractive woman but he thought it was nothing more than that.

That is until he was stuck in a meeting with commanding officers, you were leaning on his table and his eyes couldn't help but run over your curves and he started to imagine his hands on them. Your hips, your thighs, anywhere where he can squeeze.

After that meeting, Levi again thinks that it's merely because he didn't have sex in a long time and you happen to be there.

But he is proved wrong again when he sees you cleaning the windows of his office, your body stretched to reach areas you normally couldn't but his eyes focus on your ass.

What if he were to bend you over his table and fuck you right here? How loud would you be? Would you be ashamed about your comrades hearing your sweet moans? How passionately he would kiss your lips and every other inch of your body.

What was your favorite position? Missionary? Doggystyle? Cowgirl? He can offer you all of those and more.

Levi starts to feel like a pervert, night after night after night you show up in his dreams. Naked, eyes looking at him with greed. It's a sight he wishes was real but he can only look at you, he doesn't want to act like a creep or scare you away.

You sit with your friends chatting about things and he doesn't quite like the way that the boy sitting to your right is eyeing you. Same thoughts going through that boys head as well without a doubt.

And when your eyes lock with Levis, his breath catches in his throat, you smile all pretty at him before returning to chat with your friends. Levi looks at the plate of food before him, did that smile mean something or were you just being polite?

Training is his least favorite when you are there, he loses all focus. The only thing in his mind is you on your knees, taking his cock deep into your mouth. He should never be thinking about his comrade this way, this lewd way where you're fully undressed before him.

He looks at you as you move sparring with one of your friends, the white uniform makes him sweat. Were you always this hot? Did you always look this divine?

Of all things he needs to be thinking, his tongue on your warm cunt isn't one of them. How he wishes that your thick thighs would close around his head so that he can bite into them and leave his marks all over your body.

One night he sits before the campfire, and the rest of his friends are all asleep. He watched as the flame dies out slowly, not paying any attention. You're on all fours as he takes you from the back, cock hitting every possible spot, your walls tight. What the fuck is wrong with him?

He hears a pair of boots approaching him and turns around to find you standing there, hands on your hips. "Aren't you asleep?"

"No." You say sitting down really close to him, your arms are touching. "I've been...." You start. Oh, walls, you're gonna call him creepy, you're gonna tell him to stop looking at you like a pervert aren't you?

But when your hands lay on his shoulder, all of those thoughts leave his mind. "I've been lonely for the last few months...you know captain?" Your hand moves to his face, brushing the few strands of his hair back and he feels his cock hardening in his pants.

This isn't real, he is dreaming and is going to wake up in sweat again because of you. "I hope that all of those looks weren't for nothing?" You whisper in his ear and he shivers, cheeks and ears going red.

"Maybe you would react differently if you knew that I have had a crush on you for years. Wearing tight pants and shirts on purpose so that you would look at me and now that you finally are, I don't want to waste the opportunity." You tell him in the most seductive voice he has ever heard.

"What's wrong captain? Cat got your tongue?" Levi groans turning his head and catching your jaw with his hand. "Just so you know, if I kiss you now, there's no going back.."

"Do it then." And he does, lips crashing against yours in a kiss that has your head spinning, soon you're back in his tent, hand eagerly getting rid of every piece of clothing.

His cock penetrates your walls and the sweetest moans leave your lips, your pussy squeezing him so tightly. He feels like he is on cloud nine.

The fire finally dies out and Levi breathes in the fresh air, standing up and making his way back to his tent. Who is he joking with? It's all just wishful thinking....

---------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @the-milk-anon @youre-ackermine @sixpennydame @notgoodforlife @levisbrat25 @luvjiro @levisgreyeyes @yakaaamoz @ackermendick @laraackerman @lovolee3

#levi #levi ackerman #aot levi #levi x reader #captain levi #attack on titan #levi attack on titan #levi x you #levi smut #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x y/n smut #levi ackerman smut

[rainbowsky]

GG and DD and queer representation

As some of you might be aware, Greece has finally legalized same sex marriage. This was very exciting news!

I had an ask related to the Greek marriage equality debate and had begun drafting a response but ended up getting sidetracked, and by the time I got back to this post marriage equality had already won.

I figured I'd finish this response because it covers some ground that newer turtles might find useful (and because I hate leaving things like this unfinished).

@rozanthi asked: Πιστεύετε πως οι χελώνες βοηθούν η δυσκολεύουν τους ggdd στην σημερινή πραγματικότητα;

Hi rozanthi!

Here's the rest of the ask(s) rozanthi sent.

rozanthi asked: Sorry l put my question in English and not in Greek by mistake. Do you thing that turtles benefit or harm ggdd in today's sircumstansies, reality. I apologize if in someway l offended you with my question about turtles and ggdd. Maybe that is the reason why you didn't answer. But you see, in my country(Greece) these few last months, a debate is going on in our parliament about voting to make political marriage between people of the same gentre legal. There has been a lot of fight and tension from our church and people with no manners or Shane minds. I asked you that question because l support ggdd as a couple in a relationship as barriors of a message as pioneers of something important for China to accept. And l wanted to know how much public support in the form of turtles help them along or make it more difficult. Here as more we support homo. homosexuality we bring thanter and more hate. In February we will know if we made a baby's step in out parliament. Support your ggdd in any way you see tat you really help them and not making it worse on them. They need support Ln the most gentle delicate way. Thank you for baring me.

First of all, it's OK to send me an ask in another language. Don't apologize for feeling better able to express yourself in your first language. I can always machine translate and ask for clarification when I feel I'm missing something (and the asker can clarify if I get anything wrong). Although I think you've done an adequate job of communicating your question here in English.

Second, as I've said many times, people should never read anything into whether I answer their ask or not. It's almost always just a result of me picking easier/quicker questions to answer.

Now, to address the ask.

Your question reflects some misconceptions/misunderstandings about GGDD's situation and about what turtles represent. Some of the topics you're discussing here are not directly related, and I'm going to try to break them down into their component parts for you.

The first and most important thing I can say to you is (and this is really, really key to understanding GGDD and understanding what turtles are in China):

GG and DD are not representatives of the queer community, and turtles are not a political movement.

Quite the contrary. I think it's fair and accurate to say that GG and DD, and by extension turtles, actively take steps to avoid being seen as part of a political movement, queer movement, protest movement or human rights movement.

(In fact, unfortunately many turtles are actually not particularly LGBTQ-friendly, don't support queer rights or gay marriage, and don't even consider GG and DD to be gay/queer. Many believe GG and DD are only 'gay' for each other, which is homophobic and a reflection of poor sex education).

It's essential for their own safety that GG and DD are not seen as political movement in China, or as figureheads of the queer rights movement. The Chinese government and even a sizable percentage of the public at large tend to take a very dim view of anyone who tries to organize and rally around subversive political causes.

Especially the current government, which is very repressive and has been rolling back LGBTQ rights and freedoms and cracking down on queer orgs, shutting down LGBTQ outreach organizations, etc. Pride events and large public gatherings are treated as disruptive protest movements, and have been banned.

There are queer male turtles in China who actively avoid openly identifying as turtles in order to protect the fandom from being seen as a queer rights movement.

Turtles are a fandom and are categorized and treated that way both by turtles and by passersby. Just a fandom of 'cute young girls' clowning over some handsome boys they ship together.

It's important that it stays that way. GG and DD cannot be seen as leading a movement, they cannot take on the role of leading a movement, and many turtles would likely not even support such a movement.

That's not because GGDD are queer, by the way - although under the current government queerness is becoming in some ways more restricted and frowned upon at least from an official perspective - it's because political movements are frowned upon*.

*That's not to say that Chinese people don't organize or protest around certain causes, but those causes tend to be more municipal or limited in scope. Broader political movements - especially ones that appear to stand against the policies of the current regime - are generally very quickly quashed.

That's also not to say that GG and DD aren't hugely inspiring to queer people all over the world, because they are.

GG and DD do not even present themselves as queer.

This is important to keep in mind. GG and DD are closeted, and are assumed by the public at large to be straight single men. 'Eligible bachelors'. This is a double-edged sword, but ultimately it protects them and protects their careers. Top stars are a lot more marketable if there's a perception of romantic availability, and relationships - even relationship rumors - can have a massively negative impact on a star's career.

Even straight married stars hide their relationship status and present themselves as single for this same reason, and straight married celebrity couples - even ones who are out as being married - who attend industry events will often pretend not to know each other in public (sound familiar?).

Coming out as (or being outed as) married or in a relationship is viewed as career suicide, and a star's numbers, opportunities and popularity will plummet. Not always, but usually. Producers and backers know what sells, and married stars just don't sell as much as hot singles do. Fans will pursue stars that appear to be single, and drop them when they marry or come out with a relationship.

Heteronormativity means the vast majority of people in China will assume GG and DD are straight, and GG and DD will not 'correct' them on that. Quite the opposite, they go along with and even at times might say or do things that help feed the perception that they're straight.

There are almost no LGBTQ public figures in China, and those who are out are not top stars.

As international fans, what we do and think doesn't matter much.

Things that happen in the international fandom are largely irrelevant to people in China, and are almost never going to have any impact whatsoever on GG and DD. What we think about them and what they represent to us is of little consequence to their careers.

For example, the ongoing i-fan debate about colored light banners is a bit of a wank because nobody in the international fandom is ever likely to be at an event where we would have to make decisions about what color of light banner to bring. Our thoughts about colored light banners are utterly irrelevant to the fandom in China.

It's really easy to lose sight of that as an international fan, and get so caught up in and wrapped up in our own ideas and arguments and debates that we forget that nothing we say do or think really has any relevance to GGDD's lives.

Our support for their projects and merchandise and brands, our subscriptions to platforms to view their dramas, our movie tickets, our fan support when they travel internationally... these things do have an impact on them and do matter, but the opinions and political ideas that we might discuss and debate here on Tumblr or even on Twitter are highly unlikely to ever reach their circle or directly impact them, whether positive or negative.

There are some notable exceptions to this. Making candy out of nationalistic posts - particularly posts about events of national mourning or major political significance - is unwise and could potentially backlash on them. More about that in this series of posts from Pie.

I talked about some of the other harmful things we should be avoiding in this post.

But the idea that anything international fans might do or say as turtles might negatively impact GG and DD is - for the most part - not a reflection of reality.

There are valid reasons to believe GG and DD value turtles and take strength from our support.

This fandom has been around for 6 years, and in all that time GG and DD have never sought to shut it down. Other dating rumors, CP, etc. have been shut down over the years, but turtles continue to be the top CP in China and the fandom is constantly growing.

GG and DD have been caught on camera many times reacting positively to turtle light banners.

LRLG rumors - which many turtles believe hold a lot of credibility - have repeatedly depicted GG and DD as enjoying our support, and have at times directly expressed GG and DD's appreciation and gratitude to turtles for our support.

Despite the fact that this fandom is hugely controversial among GG and DD's solo fans and even among some passersby, GG and DD and some of their associates continue to regularly feed us candy. This is something that simply would not happen if we didn't have GG and DD's support.

If we believe BJYXSZD, then it only follows that turtles would mean a lot to GG and DD.

There is a fine balancing act between GGDD and turtles, where we show our support and they feed us, and we all try to keep things light and fly somewhat under the radar.

But turtles aren't 'under the radar at all'. Turtles are an incredibly active, vibrant, loud fandom in China, with big events and public charity work and fan activities and banners and billboards, etc. etc. However, they manage to fly under the radar because they're 'just fans'. They're not a political movement and they're not troublemakers. They're just a bunch of fans having fun together.

They also fly under the radar by being seen as a crazy fringe group, a bunch of deluded clowns. They are underestimated and dismissed because of this, which protects GG and DD.

A lot of turtles wear that proudly because they know that they're acting as a shield for GG and DD. Turtles make it possible for GG and DD to get public support for their relationship without having their relationship outed. Turtles take all the hate and ridicule that's piled on them, so that they can show GG and DD they're loved and supported.

This is one of the things about turtles that is most beautiful and powerful. Turtles stick their necks out every day to support and protect GG and DD.

I talked about that in more detail in this post.

I hope this helps give some context about queer issues as they relate to GG and DD, and to the turtle fandom as a whole. While many people inside and outside China support GGDD and are inspired by them and view them as queer icons, the way they are framed and discussed will differ wildly between the Chinese and international fandoms, and what is said outside of China won't have much of an impact on GGDD. That's for the best.

For my thoughts on the politics of all this, please see this post.

#bjyx #yizhan #ggdd in the public eye #bxg perspectives #bxg ggdd #lgbtpride

[gurugirl]

omg loved your blog. pls give me a lil spoiler of whats coming next

So... I've got a whole bunch of things coming. I looked through my drafts and documents and feel like this one is something I can share with you guys. I've got the story maybe halfway done and I've been working on it slowly for about 6 months. I don't know when I'll post it but you asked for a sneak peek for something so here's something to tide you over.

For context this is burlesque dancer!Y/n and rich CEO!Harry (this is a combination of requests I've received all in one story).

...

The sign read: 24-hour breakfast. $2.99 all-you-can-eat pancakes. The one she drove past every day.

She imagined slathering each stack with butter and syrup and surprising the staff when she went for seconds and thirds. Her stomach growled as she got into place behind the other girls and the music started. Bethany raised a brow at her when she heard it.

The routine was the same as the week before. They had a short break before they went back up and did another set. Y/n hadn’t been in such a good mood in weeks, knowing what was coming after the show. She was shaking with the anticipation of finally eating something of substance.

Like last week, the main dancers got to use the locker room first. Y/n and the others sat at the end of the bar and watched the guests leave as they chatted. They never got into anything too deep. Y/n wasn’t keen on telling the others about her situation. It was embarrassing. She was technically homeless and she was dirt broke. But Angelique had given them their checks and Y/n was more than happy to use it. She wouldn’t cash it that night because it was too late, but she planned on using her credit card to buy the $2.99 buffet pancakes. Maybe she’d splurge on eggs as well.

After showering and charging her phone she nearly skipped to her car. She parked strategically under a lamppost and noticed right away a man leaning on her front bumper.

“Excuse me?” She stopped halfway between the building and her car, ready to run back into the building if needed.

The man stood and she saw the chocolate curls of the British man she’d met the week before.

“Sorry! I thought I’d wait out here for you. I wanted to tell you that you did a great job in there,” he smiled kindly. That sweet smile, dimples and all.

Y/n let out the breath she’d been holding and finished walking toward her car. She figured she could trust Harry at this point.

“It’s okay. Just startled me a little to see someone leaning on my car. And, uh, thanks!”

She dug her keys out of her bag and walked next to Harry. He was taller than she thought. She hadn’t stood directly next to him before but now that he was only a few feet from her as she unlocked her car door she noticed it.

Harry pointed into her windshield, “I don’t mean to pry or anything, and you can tell me to fuck off if you want, but I noticed the blankets and pillows in the backseat. Is that… are you…?” Harry didn’t finish his sentence but Y/n knew what he was asking.

Normally she folded up the blankets and stuffed the pillows into the floorboards nicely but this morning she didn’t care. She’d been in such a good mood about the upcoming pancake dinner that she left it all strewn about.

She thought for a moment about how to answer. She looked down at her shoes and sighed, “Just temporary. It’s not a big deal,” she brushed it off.

Harry stayed quiet. But the longer he was silent the stranger it felt. Y/n looked back up at him and he was stoic. Deep in thought. Her stomach growled and she groaned. It was like if all the most embarrassing things in life could come out all at once in front of a handsome man it happened right then. She was hungry and homeless. That was the truth. And Harry was now aware of this fact.

Harry sighed and his face softened, “Look. I know it can get hard out here. But, let me buy you something to eat at least. I was hoping to chat with you anyway. Maybe we could just… I don’t know… get to know one another over a drink, or food. No pressure,” Harry was cautious. He knew he could be overstepping a little. But he probably felt it was necessary based on the circumstance he was now aware of.

Y/n shook her head, “That’s not necessary, Harry. I just got paid. I was going to buy myself something to eat. You really don’t need to…” The look on his face had her pausing her words. Harry’s brows were raised and the soft grin told her he wasn’t buying her I-don’t-need-your-help act.

“Fine. Then you buy yourself something to eat. Can I join you at least?”

And so that’s how she found herself at the dingy diner sitting across from Harry in a booth as she shoveled pancakes in her mouth. Harry ordered a coffee. Black.

Harry watched her for a bit as she scarfed down her first plate. Y/n tried to hold a conversation while eating but her body was on autopilot. She needed to eat. Harry could see that too.

When she finished the first plate she looked up at Harry. He was leaned back, comfortable in the booth with his arms crossed over his chest, an amused look on his face.

She licked her lips and sipped the orange juice before clearing her throat, “What?” She felt embarrassed. It was probably quite obvious to Harry what was going on.

“Nothing. Still hungry?” He smirked and leaned forward to the table, putting his forearms over the linoleum and clasped his hands together in front of him. He’d pushed his sleeves up to his elbows again and Y/n could make out the dark tattoos that went up one arm.

She breathed out a laugh at the question. Without a doubt, she was still hungry. She nodded, “I am. Yes. Is it okay if I grab another plate? Do… uh, do you want anything other than coffee?”

Harry shook his head and kept his eyes on hers, “I’m fine. I’ve eaten today. Go and get another plate, love. I’ll be right here.”

Y/n brought back another stack of pancakes with a handful of margarine butter packets and went to work to make her second plate as sugary, fattening, and calorific as possible.

“So, where are you from, Y/n?” Harry took a sip of his coffee, and Y/n saw him wince. She doubted the coffee was any good. Especially black. It was probably old and bitter and room temperature. But she appreciated that he was sitting with her and trying to fill the void of loneliness. Though she would have been fine to sit and eat her pancakes in silence.

“Bible belt. Nowhere,” she kept her eyes on her meal, drizzling the maple-flavored syrup over the top.

Harry laughed, “I see. Okay. So, why are you here in Nevada? Big dreams of becoming a famous dancer?”

Y/n shoved a forkful into her mouth and shook her head, putting her finger up as she chewed. Another sip of her orange juice and she finally responded, “No. I needed a change of scenery. I am a dancer. Well, I have a bachelor’s in dance. I’m not a professional or anything. It was sort of a whim, but a good one. There was nothing keeping me back home. What about you Harry? Where are you from? How did you get here?” She tried to change the subject from herself to him.

She ate while Harry told her his story. He was born in Manchester and got a business degree in London and then moved to California when he was in his mid-twenties after being offered a job at a private equity firm.

After a couple of years at the firm he and a close friend of his decided on opening up their own business, a startup. Which turned out to be quite profitable early on. Harry was a managing partner and owner of a wealth management group specifically for entertainment companies. Like burlesque clubs. Like Haute Baude. The owner, Richard, hired Harry as his wealth management agent years ago and they grew close.

Y/n knew next to nothing about the finance world so she just nodded and hummed along, “Wow. So, you’re doing well. A successful businessman,” she smiled and licked her fork clean.

Harry chuckled and tilted his head to the side, “I guess so. You’re impressive too, you know. It was brave to come out here all by yourself.”

There was a bit of quiet after he spoke those words. Y/n smiled down at her empty plate and then looked up at Harry. His coffee cup was empty.

“And you’re cute,” Harry spoke the words quietly but he kept his eyes on hers.

Y/n set her fork down and kept her eyes on the handsome man, squinting at him in question. She didn’t know how to respond. He hadn’t really been flirting with her, that she could tell, but she was aware of the way he was looking at her. How when she’d take a bite he’d watch her lips move and he kept licking his own lips.

“Sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that,” Harry said but he didn’t hide his smile well when he pulled his lips into his mouth, that reaction only drew his dimples in deeper and it made Y/n smile and laugh.

She shook her head and looked down. His eyes were getting to her. His intense gaze was alluring. Harry was charming and handsome. She didn’t know what his intentions were but he seemed nice at least.

When Harry remained quiet for a beat longer than was comfortable Y/n looked back up at him. She couldn’t help but smile back at his expression and she laughed, “It’s okay. You haven’t been obnoxious or anything. I just… I’m a mess and hearing that threw me off a bit.”

“What do you mean you’re a mess?” Harry asked.

“I mean, well, come on… you saw my car. And here I am buying $2.99 all-you-can-eat buffet pancakes at 2 am the moment I get a paycheck. I’m… down on my luck a little. But I think things are better now. For one, my tummy’s full,” Y/n smiled shyly. She hated that this successful man was privy to her misfortune, but he felt trustworthy.

Harry shook his head, “Not a mess. Just a victim of circumstance. Are you sleeping in your car tonight?” He raised his brows in question.

Y/n looked to the corner of the room and breathed out a huff of breath and pursed her lips as she nodded before looking back at Harry with a shrug, “Have nowhere else to go.”

#burlesque dancer!yn #rich!harry #ceo!harry #sugardaddy!harry #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles fic #harry x yn #harry x reader #harry x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry styles x y/n #sneak peek #coming soon(ish) #harry styles one shot #firstpost

[sentientsky]

Crowley + Attachment Style

I was talking to @actual-changeling the other day about attachment styles, and they confirmed my idea that Crowley is, contrary to popular belief, not someone with an anxious attachment style. Rather, like Aziraphale, he exhibits signs of a fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment style (just in a slightly different and less obvious way). I’ve had this draft kicking around since September (??? October?? time is an illusion), so enjoy my silly (not-so-little) ramblings. TW // discussion of child abuse (not explicit) Okay, I've seen a couple of discussions surrounding this (cue me doing a frantic, sleep-deprived Tumblr Literature Review approx. five minutes ago), so this is just me tossing two pennies into a fountain, shrugging, and walking away. I totally see how Crowley could be interpreted as having an anxious attachment style. At the same time, as someone with a fearful-avoidant/disorganized attachment style (thanks, dad! <3), I believe there's space to explore that as a possibility.

My credentials, you ask?? Decades of trauma and an intimate knowledge of what it's like to have a disorganized attachment style (I'm WORKING ON IT, okay?? lol). Also a fuckton of research. All sources will be linked because I am a professional (&lt;- LYING). Okay, so let's do a quick crash course on attachment theory as a concept itself, and then shift into manifestations of disorganized attachment style (I'm going to call it "DAS" for short bc I'm tired). I'm doing this as a formality, because let's be honest. Would you be in this fandom without having had experienced at least some measure of childhood trauma? What is Attachment Theory? (source) "Attachment theory, in developmental psychology, [is] the theory that humans are born with a need to form a close emotional bond with a caregiver and that such a bond will develop during the first six months of a child’s life if the caregiver is appropriately responsive." There are a variety of attachment styles, each of which differently predicts how an individual will react in interpersonal situations according to how they were raised. While there are, obviously, further nuances to this, a core group of four feature most prominently:

Let's go deeper. What does it mean to have a DAS? In short, a DAS (also known as "fearful-avoidant attachment style") often comes about as a result of childhood abuse. The child relies upon the caregiver to ensure their (the child's) survival. However, when the parent is abusive (physically, emotionally, verbally, etc.), this obviously poses a threat to the wellbeing of the child. So they develop this deep-rooted sense of distrust and fear. It helps me to think of it as a flame: you want to be warmed by the heat of the fire, but if you get too close, you'll get burnt. Consequently, you're trapped in this wavering "too close", "too far" situation. One of the best explanations I've read with regards to DAS is from this source:

Separation and abandonment (though most likely to produce an organized form of attachment, such as anxious or avoidant) can lead to the establishment of a DAS:

(source) After experiencing abuse and abandonment in Heaven, and again as a Fallen angel, Crowley has, like Aziraphale, been exposed to conditions that would create this particular attachment style (for a further explanation of Aziraphale's DAS, see this post). However, as I mentioned in the above linked post,

In contrast, Crowley has a more nuanced, consequentialist view of morality. Having Fallen, having intimately known the depths of what both Heaven and Hell are capable of (e.g., his time in Hell post-1827), he isn't living with this unpredictable "parent"--he solidly understands that the existing system is fundamentally wrong.

At times, he does experience what appears to be ambivalence (or, more likely, a sense of deep-rooted loss and abandonment):

However, the Final Fifteen emphasizes that this lingering mindset is overridden by the acknowledgment of an innately harmful structure:

Having established this, what does Crowley's DAS look like + how does it differ from Aziraphale's? Well, in my research, I would posit "compulsive caregiving" plays a role. Compulsive Caregiving What is "compulsive caregiving"? It's a form of DAS that emerges as a result of specific developmental conditions. Having their needs (or QUESTIONS) ignored or else punished by a caregiver, a child may learn to "never ask for anything", and instead care for others, often sacrificing their own wellbeing/needs for the sake of the other party (see further explanations below).

(Sources: 1, 2, 3, 4)

Here, we can see how Crowley might fall into the category of "compulsive care-giving". Both he and Azi try to protect each other to a severe degree, but Crowley's compulsivity might be a bit more apparent in this regard. He's learned not to ask for the things he wants (avoidant manifestation), but he also feels a desperate need to prove himself and protect Aziraphale through compulsive caregiving (anxious manifestation). It's only with his back pressed against the figurative wall in the Final Fifteen (or on the brink of Armageddon in season 1) that he is able to say it plainly. The Push-And-Pull of DAS As has been discussed so many times previously, this idea of ambivalence also features prominently in the relationship between Crowley and Aziraphale themselves. There's a constant push-and-pull in their dynamic, as evidenced below: Aziraphale refers to him as a friend, he compliments him, exists in close quarters with him, etc...

But he also pushes Crowley away and consistently reiterates the categorical black-and-white thinking of Heaven/Hell.

[Disclaimer: I acknowledge that this wavering attitude, while infuriating and unfair to Crowley, is also largely as a result of religious trauma; Aziraphale needs some serious therapy. As we see exhibited throughout the Final Fifteen, Aziraphale still believes that Heaven is, fundamentally, good (or at least holds the capacity to become good). This doesn't negate the fact that he loves Crowley, but it does impact the way he views the two of them and their relationship, causing a significant strain and eventual break in their bond].

So we have the root, we have the manifestations within the other party, but how does this DAS figure within Crowley's character itself? Manifestations of DAS in Adulthood

Speaking from personal experience, DAS can manifest in adult life in several ways. In the present day, I tend to (But not always! I'm getting better, lol) attach myself to people who are touch-and-go; who variously show me affection and disinterest (*cough cough* my ex-bsf). Often, when I felt like the other person was pulling away/withdrawing, I would also pull away. Because my caregivers flipped between rage and calm, venom-spitting hatred and comforting affection very, very quickly and very, very easily, I had to constantly be on edge, anticipating my next move and ready to go into resolution/fawning mode ("compulsive caretaking") at the drop of a hat. And that notion of push-and-pull, "never really knowing where you stand" is what I grew up thinking of as love. This pulling away in the face of perceived rejection can also point to issues with self-esteem...

SIDEBAR: CROWLEY AND SELF-ESTEEM The way Crowley is written with regards to his trauma responses is so interesting and also so real to me. We have this entity who has spent the better part of six thousand years (likely more, because we don't have a definitive timeline for the Fall) believing he is so thoroughly and utterly unwanted as to be pushed to the underbelly of the Universe, hidden away amongst sulphur and agony and absence.

Speaking as someone with ah...childhood...uh. issues (sure, let's call it that. why not?), after being told that you are disgusting, horrible, unworthy, etc. so many times, you begin to believe it. And because, as children, we're forced to rely on primary caregivers, often the only way to maintain that connection lies in the internalization of that unworthiness, to the point where it's difficult to separate you from these ideas of worthlessness. And because you've experienced it so consistently throughout your life, you also come to anticipate rejection; you look for it everywhere, feeling as though it's right around the corner. Therefore, to kind of pre-emptively avoid emotional harm (or because you feel unworthy of asking for more or for reassurance), you cauterize the figurative wound and pull away. We'll come back to this idea in a couple moments! Returning to the main point, let's look at these markers of a DAS more broadly:

(source)

Let's go through each of these, step-by-step. Again, remember, not all of these symptoms have to be present all of the time. These are the ones I see most prominently in Crowley (of course, please, please, please feel free to correct me or build on this! i'm in NO way an expert).

"You find it difficult to open up to others" + "You tend to keep conversations on the surface level because it's uncomfortable to be vulnerable"

"You have a negative self-view of both yourself and others" (mostly himself, in this case!)

"You often dissociate from your emotions" + "You withdraw when you feel vulnerable or emotional" For this one, I'm just going to invite you to read Alex's post here. They phrase it better than I ever could, lol.

SIDEBAR #2: Withdrawal + Good Omens Lockdown @yowlthinks also made an excellent point regarding something i said here. In the Good Omens Lockdown audio clip, we notice Crowley pushing the boundary line, forthrightly offering to come over to the bookshop and stay for a while at the height of the pandemic (see below):

When Aziraphale outright rejects him, Crowley recoils and quickly says goodbye, intending to set his alarm for July. Here, we see the way in which disorganized attachment operates as a fusion of both anxious and avoidant behaviours; despite wanting to be close, he pulls back immediately and (presumably) resolves not to discuss the fact that he lost his flat and is now sleeping in his Bentley. (As my former philosophy professors have tried to impress upon me so many times,) It's important we consider alternative explanations. It could be possible that this is just him respecting Aziraphale's boundaries and returning to practices that seek to remedy the whole "you go too fast for me" issue. However, this kind of behaviour occurs time and time again, establishing a pattern that goes beyond simply protecting Azi's boundaries, and may index a desire to keep himself safe through emotional avoidance. "You have a hard time self-soothing your emotions" [insert lightning scene here]. He's trying, you guys. He's trying so hard, but it's difficult (and i'd genuinely like to get a scene in s3 where he's allowed to be well and truly angry. no, i'm totally not projecting, why do you ask? what are u, a cop???)! It seems that he turns to repression in the absence of actual emotional processing or soothing (until it comes out all at once, in the case of the lightning). This makes sense, as well, considering there have been very few instances in which he's been truly comforted or soothed by others. Not having comfort modelled to him, combined with his pre-existing low self-esteem helps to illuminate why he turns to repression opposed to taking time to care for himself, etc. Broader Implications + S3 Speculation Alright, we're almost done, I promise! So we've established (or at the very least, put forth an argument for) disorganized attachment in Anthony Janthony Crowley. What does this mean in the context of where we left things off at the end of S2? From my perspective, it means that what happened was completely in-character for both of them. Aziraphale's DAS manifests in more of the traditional, hot-and-cold fearful-avoidance. For Crowley, his caretaking compulsivity finally snapped in the Final Fifteen; Heaven is one place he cannot follow, and exhausted, he walks away (only to stand out on the street, further pointing to the anxious/avoidant duality). I would argue that there was no trick, nothing in the coffee, no coded messages, etc. Rather, like humans, they are both shaped by their trauma and responded in accordance with this. (@actual-changeling has some excellent metas where they further expand on the idea that there was no trick involved in the final fifteen: x. this meta too!: x. massive credit to them, as always hehe)

What about in S3? Speaking from personal experience (because the surrounding literature wasn't super helpful haha), a disorganized attachment style must be unlearned, with a few key factors at play: Since DAS is grounded in formative experiences of volatility, the survival of the individual has to be decoupled from the preservation of connection (with family members, partners, friends, etc.); more specifically, your worth and ability to persist is not dependent on maintaining connection with another. This is incredibly difficult to unlearn when you've experienced it for a couple decades, let alone so many thousands of years. t h e r a p y (pls neil, i need an episode where it’s just Crowley going to see a psychiatrist and he breaks down crying and it’s like “oh yeah. that was really fucked up what happened to me”. again. totally not projecting! <- as always, don’t actually send stuff like this to Neil). Okay, finally. We're at the end. I apologize for the sheer length of this analysis. I had to cut it off here, because the original was going to be wayyyyy longer with more discussion/analysis/etc. However. I am TIRED. So here you go! ✨TaH DaH! ✨ (please don't yell at me ajsdlasjkd. i love azi and crowley both so much and this is just my own interpretation/opinion as someone with a disorganized attachment style lol)

#AGAIN TO REITERATE: this is not attacking aziraphale. i love that guy (gn). i would die for him #this is just me highlighting some ideas i had ab attachment style #there are so many gaps in this but my brain is all foggy rn. sorry ahdasdguhgh #i'm so sorry this is so long btw. i got talking to alex and both our brains went nyooooom #good omens meta #good omens #gomens #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens 2 #aziracrow #aziraphale #go2 #ineffable lovers #ineffable wives #good omens season 2 #gomens 2 #david tennant #gomens meta #attachment theory #long post #michael sheen #tw: childhood trauma #tw: child abuse #REALLY LONG POST #final fifteen #good omens analysis #no nightingales #good omens renewal #neil gaiman

[shiori8]

Oh look! It's another redesign!

Here, have this little illustration based on my Ladybug/Chat Noir re-designs, that I've been slaving away at for the past month (we're just gonna ignore the fact that I started plotting out the costumes and sketched the pose a year ago lol). I know, I know. A redesign? Very original. But hey I haven't done it yet, so that makes it different ok😝!

(Gosh, I usually don't post sketches, I feel like this is exposing all my drawing weaknesses lol)

These are some of the first doodles I did. For Marinette I basically looked at some traditional Qui Pao and Hanfu dresses for inspiration and mixed and matched details I liked. I also gave her these little skirt flaps (?? whatever you want to call it) to symbolise the ladybug wings and kept the spots concentrated there. All in all I actually immediately knew what I wanted to do with her costume and pretty much just kept to my first draft, but what really gave me trouble was the hair somehow. I really wanted to incorporate actual antennae (I just think it's cute🤧!!!!) but it got too crowded up there so I had to let them go eventually🥺. In the end I settled for her twin tails pulled up instead of down. To make it look more distinct from her civilian form the idea was also that her hair colour changes to black after the transformation.

Chat Noir on the other hand was so difficult😭😭😭. I honestly like the original design soo much it was hard to think about alternatives. I wanted something that matched better with my new Ladybug, but I don't think I succeeded much. Also I hyperfocused on giving him this little scarf/oversized collar thing in my first doodles because I thought it looked cool and ended up scrapping it because the little bell is just too iconic not to keep lol. As you can tell from the final illustration there is actually not all that much that made it into the final version, except for the sheer sleeves, the shoes, the claw marks and some neon green details. I also ended up giving both of them some gold accents to make them match a bit more. As with Marinette, the idea is that Adrien's hair changes colour a bit after transforming too. So I envision Adrien having more of the smooth platinum blond in his civillian form and a more brown-ish dirty blond as Chat Noir, to go for the whole stray cat look lol.

I might come back to this one day, to re-do their civilian forms too or make these costumes more practical rather than just focusing on aesthetics (But hey if the show does this than I am allowed too😂!)

#my art #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ml #mlb #miraculous adventures of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous redesign #ladybug redesign #chat noir redesign #digital art #artists on tumblr #fanart #ml fanart #mlb fanart #ladynoir #shh please don't ask me what marinette's costume looks like from the back I haven't thought that far ok xD! #and on other news guess who finally caught up to season 5? and #WTF WAS THAT ENDING???????????????? #RFYVYDVNMKGDYCIFTDHGFYFJHKFUF #like astronomical cringe at certain moments aside I thought season 5 had a pretty good start but then they hit you with those last episodes #and I just????!!! #i don't know why I keep expecting anything from this show when it just keeps spitting in my face?? #my rage is immeasurable #damn it I hate how much this damn show has me in an emotional choke hold #I feel like a victim of stockholm syndrome lmao #if anyone is actually reading this far ahead in the tags sorry for the unrelated salt lol but I'm so mad haha

[chryblossomjjk]

glimpse of us (old concept) | jjk

→pairing: drummer!jk x reader

→rating/genre: m/18+ | was gonna be ex2l, smut, angst, fluff

→word count: 1k

→warnings: cursing, implied infidelity, jk smokes ciggys </3

→summary: You shouldn't have gone to the bar tonight, but you couldn't resist the urge to see Jungkook one last time.

→notes: ok so lmao !!! this is an early early concept of this fic. i wrote this before i even started my blog. i've turned glimpse of us into something COMPLETELY different, so this portion would've never seen the light of day. i sort of broke my ideas for this fic into other fics and wips (which u can probs tell if u've read my masterlist lol). but i found it in my drafts and thought it would be fun to share! and who knows... if u guys really like the concept kiki might consider making this into it's own thing (with a new name obvi). sorry if there’s typos !! tis was just a draft 💗

The static sound of muffled conversations was deafening. The low rumble of the blaring bass felt sharp against your spine as you leaned against the brick wall of the club. The cool night provided no relief to your burning skin. You inhale deeply, trying to calm the pounding in your chest.

What the fuck are you doing?

Shaky hands tug on the zipper of your shoulder bag, rummaging through the clutter until you find your phone.

11:45 p.m.

SAN still can’t believe u ditched me for shots w ur evil coworkers

SAN kidding lol have fun tonight babe

SAN call me when you get home so I know you’re safe

The sick feeling of guilt began bubbling in your stomach again. Especially when you unlocked your phone and were slapped in the face by your home screen. A picture of you and San at his cousin’s wedding last month.

The circumstances that led you to the bar tonight were questionable, to say the least. Sure, it was a decent place. The modern vibes lured in college students every weekend with the promise of live entertainment and a possible bathroom quicky afterward. You weren’t here for the ladder.

Friday nights were usually spent in the tub; soaking your sore body after a long week of catering to bridezillas and their overbearing mothers. Your boyfriend of three months, San, was currently at the campus library studying for finals. You should be too, however, you couldn’t resist the magnetic force that brought you here tonight. The pull personified as a post you stumbled upon while scrolling through your Instagram feed:

BTS LIVE. FRIDAY @9PM.

This was for closure. After tonight, you would purge your mind of the thing that held it captive for the past two years. You just needed to see the band one last time before you finally severed your connection to them, or more so, your connection with one specific member…

You shook your head, trying to erase your mind and focus on the task at hand; getting the fuck home. Your apartment wasn’t too far from your current location. Only about a ten-minute walk. But the heels you had been wearing all day fucking killed. Maybe that was your punishment.

You open the Uber app, but before you order yourself a ride, your screen stalls and fades to black.

“Fuck!” You whisper yell and stomp your black stiletto on the concrete. Very dramatic of you. In your defense, it had been a long, emotionally taxing, day. You wanted nothing more than to cry on your shower floor and send all your pent-up emotions down the drain. You pressed your palms into your eyes, head slumping down. The tears were already threatening to pour. This was a mistake.

You take another breath, trying to collect yourself. The oxygen gets caught in your throat when your momentary breakdown is interrupted by an all-too-familiar voice.

“Are you okay?”

As if the night couldn’t get any worse.

You turned your head to follow the sound, hoping the voice was a figment of your imagination. A cruel joke your mind was playing on you for coming here tonight.

It wasn’t.

Lifting your head and looking to the side, your eyes follow the sound.

Jungkook.

He’s sitting on the ground, back against the wall behind him. No regard for the gorgeous red fabric of his pants and matching jacket that his newfound success allowed him to afford. His head was tilted downward. The clicks of his lighter cut through the silent night air as he struggled to light the cigarette between his pink lips.

Although you’d never admit it, you had been keeping up with his social media accounts since the breakup. An entire two years ago. But nothing could’ve prepared you for when he took his seat behind the maroon drum set on the right side of the stage.

His once choppy bangs were now long and wavy, parted in the middle. You hadn’t noticed the undercut from your spot in the back of the crowd, watching him drum his heart out on stage. It was clear now, the downward angle of his head giving you a glimpse as his hair splayed over his eyes.

His chest was peeking out of the animal print blouse he was wearing. The old Jungkook would have never worn something so flashy.

Your Jungkook…

He had grown since the last time you saw him. That much was apparent. The gym selfies he frequently posted let you know he had taken on a new hobby. It was paying off too. His arms had filled out, bulging against the material of his coat. Nothing like the noodles you used to tease him for when you would watch him practice combos in his parents’ basement.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook spoke louder this time. The end of his sentence was cut off by a cough as he exhaled a puff of smoke. He had never been one to mind his own business. Always had something to say. A blessing and a curse. Currently, that quality of him you found endearing felt like a hex as he flipped the black strands out of his face, lifting his head in search of a reaction from the person ignoring him.

You didn’t miss the way his defined brows scrunched up in the middle when his eyes met yours.

Big and round. Still warm and innocent despite his progression from a boy to a man. The passage of time did nothing to diminish their light. All that passion. All that fire. They were the same eyes that haunted your mind, making your own well up with tears at the memory of them. The same eyes that you pretended you saw when you looked into San’s, hoping to get a glimpse of what was.

“__?”

You had no time to run. No time to craft an explanation as to why the fuck you were here. Frozen in place. You parted your glossed lips to speak, but nothing came out.

“__, what the fuck?” He didn’t sound angry. Didn’t look it either. Why would he be? Your break up was civil, a mutual decision. Your lives have become parallel. His band was taking off. You were busy with college. Your paths couldn’t intersect anymore.

He seemed more confused than anything.

#jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jungkook #bts #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jungkook fic #bts fic #bts fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenarios #jungkook au #jungkook x oc #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #kpop #Kpop imagines #jungkook blurbs

[kanmom51]

Letter - the lyrics that didn't make it

The draft lyrics that didn't make the final cut.

Who hugged me tightly

Only you who Protected me

Who only protected me

Who held my hand

Who held my hand tightly

You who reached out me

who held out your hand to me

Who held out his hand

To you who looked at me greatly

Funny thing.

I had this one open on my laptop, I was sure I posted this, but hadn't (?), and good thing I hadn't yet.

Because since I put this together I came by @minggukieology 's post. I think that she explains just how important the wording here is and just how intimate JM's words in this draft were.

This part especially hits hard:

As we've all seen today once more (with the Face playlist) JM is very very calculated in the sense that he puts thought into everything he expresses artistically. Like Philip Johnson's piece was not there by mistake or randomly placed, so was his use of that word in that context.

The one and only...

Kind of hard for me to get that one out of my head.

But he didn't use those words in the final lyrics because of just how obvious it would be.

K-JKKs are not conflicted here. They don't see this as a letter to army at all.

Knowing language and cultural context is super important. It's also important to understand said context and not utilize it half way to suit a certain theory or narrative you want to put in place.

The name of the song is Letter, not Letters.

Addressed to either Army or JK, can't have it both ways. Either or.

And if we are listening to Karmy, why listen half way? Listen to them all the way.

They know who this letter is addressed to.

They said it perfectly:

It's a letter for JK (a hidden song for a hidden couple), hence JK joining JM in the song too, but it's disguised as a song for Army.

Plausible deniability.

Or has it been such a long time since we've had JM and JK in one frame that we forgot about that one. You know, even when stretching the boundaries doing it in a way that can always allow falling back on a more or less plausible explanation or excuse.

JM is the mastermind in knowing just how far to stretch the boundaries. And with Face and Letter he's stretched them real real far, like rubber band can snap in a second far. Funny how still such a big part of the fandom are unwilling to see his message, his queer coding. At this point I think that even if that rubber band tears/breaks I-army will be standing there holding on to both ends to make sure it doesn't fall apart.

JM and JK are lovers.

JM and JK are intimate.

JM and JK are and have been in a long term love/romantic relationship for years now. In my books, for over 7 years now.

I kind of don't understand those that are unwilling to accept that. Take that extra step from "great friends" to life partners, at this stage.

"Great friends", as close as they may be, don't suck on each other's ears, don't give each other hickey's, don't tattoo the other's name on their hand (if a friend does that, well they need to look real deep inside themselves and understand that it's way more than friendship they are feeling). There are so many other behaviours we see with these two, towards each other and towards others that are clear proof they are not just "great friends". Why is it so hard for some to take that leap? Is it the fear of labeling? These two can't say it out loud. They just can't. Closeted queer couple in SK. Two mega stars months away from enlisting into military service. But with that they have sent us every single possible clue telling us they are queer and a couple. They want those that will accept and support them to see THEM.

Guys, what was TTU Seoul 2019 all about if not their defiance and telling us they are together and want us to love them, accept them?

I digress, I know.

Point being, they are together, a couple, for years, and Letter, it's JM's song for JK, you know, the one he told us in 2016 that he would write to the person he loved. His forever person.

#Jimin #JM #PJM1 #JM Face #JM Letter #JM Letter draft lyrics