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#i’m clearly talking about the people who literally say please watch this show and draw this character
pencilscratchins · 2 years
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ofmd is the perfect show for u it has multiple gay middle aged man and its genuinely funny. also stede bonnet dilf
it was tailor made for me. kristen johnston from 3rd from the sun is in it for gods sake, that’s a “for rebecca” detail if i’ve thought of one. also yes stede is THE dilf
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ptergwen · 3 years
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no sleep
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pairing: singer!reader x tom holland || w/c: 1.6k
warnings: swearing and many many many suggestive jokes
summary: you’re on jimmy kimmel to talk about your music, but he has other plans
a/n: y’all i’ve literally always wanted to write singer!reader and this idea just came to me and i had to get it out because it’s so cute :,) i really hope ya like it
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jimmy kimmel invited you onto his show to promote a single from your upcoming album. you stepped out of the spotlight for a while, so this is your first official appearance of the year.
“my first guest tonight...” there’s a cheer from the audience. you grin to yourself, waiting for jimmy to finish announcing you.
“you wanna say it for me?” he chuckles and stands your picture up on his desk. “my first guest tonight surprised fans this morning with her new single ‘no sleep.’ it’s currently number one in over seventy countries.” jimmy holds for applause, which you get a ton of. you cover your hot face with your hands.
“she’s here to talk to us about the song and her short hiatus. please welcome y/n y/l/n!”
the music plays while you walk onstage, followed by more cheers and clapping. you’re beaming as you wave to everyone. you give jimmy a quick hug and exchange hello’s over the noise.
you’ve been in the industry for a few years, but you’ll never get used to responses like this. all the love really warms your heart.
“thank you!” you giggle out, taking your seat on the couch. the audience yells some more when the music dies out. “thank you so much! oh my god,” you make a face at jimmy, who laughs and gestures to everyone. “they clearly hated the song,” he jokes to you. “i was gonna say,” you agree, smoothing your dress down.
you look out at the crowd with a pout. “no, seriously. you guys are so cute.” jimmy copies your pout, earning a playful eye roll from you.
you’ve been on the show a couple of times before, so you two are friendly. tom has also brought you to chill backstage with him when he was a guest. you would’ve brought him this time if he wasn’t away for filming.
“so, you took most of the year off from making music,” jimmy starts the actual conversation. “mhm, i did,” you hum and cross one of your legs over the other. “how was that? was it weird not being in the studio?” you scrunch your face up, then he adds another question. “what did you actually do with yourself?”
“i mean, music is obviously a big part of who i am. making it, loving it, all that stuff.” a small smile crosses your face. “so, yeah. it sort of felt like something was missing at first.” jimmy nods along, you shrugging one of your shoulders.
“at the same time, i really needed to take a minute and just breathe. come back with my shit more together. i think i have,” you let out a reflective sigh. “it didn’t have anything to do with your boyfriend? a mr. tom holland?” jimmy teases, you waving a hand at him. “no, don’t give him all the credit.”
your break genuinely was for yourself. no one needs to know that tom was also off, or that he spent all his free time with you. that was just a plus.
“are you sure? because, it seemed like you two were getting really cozy.” a picture from your instagram pops up on the screen. it’s of tom under a blanket. he’s reaching out for you with a lazy smile. you lean over on the couch so you’re off camera, another giggle escaping you.
jimmy flips to another picture. “that was exhibit A. here’s exhibit B.” the whole audience coos, jimmy raising his eyebrows at you. this one is a mirror selfie from tom’s instagram. your arms are slung around his neck from behind, and half your face is hidden. tom is doing his signature eye crinkling smile into the camera.
“aren’t they just adorable?” jimmy asks the audience, making them erupt in more cheers. you sit up again and clear your throat. seeing those is bittersweet for you. “he’s very cuddly. anyway, back to the music!” you do a small clap. little do you know, there’s much more to come.
“yes, yes. back to the music. talk to me about ‘no sleep.’” the song is one hundred percent about tom. you’re not sure you should say that, considering the... explicit content in it. you and tom did get very cozy over your break, as jimmy would say. it was the only time you weren’t relaxing.
“well,” you plaster on an overly happy smile. that earns more laughter from jimmy. “it’s about what you do in bed when you’re, um, not sleeping,” you explain. “and who do you do those things in bed with?” jimmy glances up at the screen again. “you’re choosing violence today, jimmy,” you say under your breath.
there’s a chuckle from backstage that sounds eerily similar to tom’s. it must have been a PA. all this talk about him is seriously fucking with your head.
“well, everyone in my life inspires my work in some way. they’re such angels,” you dodge the question, thinking you’re clever about it. jimmy won’t let you get off that easy. “friends? family?” he asks you. “yeah, everyone,” you exhale in relief. jimmy widens his eyes at you. “so, that means ‘no sleep’ is about your mom?”
your mouth falls open. he’s really going to make you spill the details of your sex life.
“what the fuck, no!” you squeal, looking out into the audience for help. they join in your laughter. “it’s about tom,” you finally confirm so jimmy doesn’t suggest anything else. “it’s about tom, my god. next topic.” you’re smiling despite yourself.
“why? don’t you wanna tell us more about your lover?” jimmy glances off to the side. what is going on back there? you sit up straighter in your spot. “no, this is my interview!” you’re half joking, half serious.
although you and tom aren’t private at all, you’ve never talked about him this much. it’s overwhelming. besides that, this is making you miss him a lot.
“that’s too bad. we thought... we thought you might like to share it,” jimmy is already grinning about whatever he has planned. this isn’t supposed to be part of your segment. “huh? i’m literally so lost.” you furrow your eyebrows at him, lowering your voice. “we didn’t talk about this.”
he pats the arm of your couch. “they say there’s no time like the present. ladies and gentlemen, tom holland!”
on cue, tom runs out from backstage. the audience practically roars with how loud they are. people even jump out of their seats. you clasp a hand over your mouth in pure shock. this feels like a prank, like jimmy is about to say sike. then, tom comes up to the couch. you almost fall over, jimmy proudly watching on.
tom grins so wide it takes up his whole face. “happy release day,” he murmurs as you get to your feet. you’re not able to speak just yet, only staring up at him with glossy eyes. he brings you into a tight hug. his hands rub up and down your back, your arms snaking around his middle.
“tommy,” you try to whisper the nickname. you forgot your microphone is on. everyone “aw’s” at you both, including jimmy. “my love,” tom’s lips brush your cheek briefly. “hi, baby,” he speaks into your ear. you hide your face in his button up while he rocks you side to side.
he’s been away for a couple of months working on the third spider-man. this is the first time you’ve seen him since he left.
“shouldn’t you be in atlanta?” you ask louder this time for the audience to hear. you’re still doing an interview. “today’s a big day. i had to see you,” tom gives you one last squeeze. “in person,” he adds, before you can say you already facetimed.
the fact that him and jimmy put this whole thing together is making you emotional. you’d be fully crying if you two were alone right now.
“she doesn’t want you here, though. remember?” jimmy chimes in, tom breathing out a laugh. he sadly lets go of you. you flop back onto the couch, tom pointing behind him with his thumb. “i’ll just be on my way. five hour flight, no big deal.” “no, no, no, no. stay,” you whine and make grabby hands at him.
that’s all it takes for tom to slip into the spot next to you. he bites back a smile, putting an arm around you and the couch. you don’t want to annoy everyone with too much pda, so you subtly curl into his side. the people actually love you and tom together. jimmy claps his hands.
“we’ll be right back with y/n y/l/n and tom holland!” he says into the camera, the band playing more filler music. he steps out from behind the desk to greet tom. tom stands up, the two of them giving each other pats on the back. the camera stops rolling.
“hey, man. thanks for doing this,” tom puts a hand on jimmy’s arm. “anything for the happy couple. i’m gonna get some water, see you in five.” jimmy shoots you another smile on his way to his dressing room. you return it. that leaves you and tom to yourselves.
“baby,” you say in a sing song voice, dropping your head onto tom’s shoulder. “i’m so happy you’re here. i real life almost peed when you came out.” tom snakes his arm around your waist. “that would be upsetting,” he mumbles, his index finger drawing circles on you. “it would’ve ruined your very pretty dress.”
“you like it?” you knowingly tug at the form fitting material. tom shifts in his spot. “i’ll tell you what,” he leans in closer to you with a smirk, his breath tickling your ear. “we’re getting no sleep tonight,” he sings from the chorus of your song. you burst into a giggle and squeeze your eyes shut.
he ends up being right.
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andypantsx3 · 3 years
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subtle | shouto todoroki/reader
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pairing: Todoroki Shouto / Reader
status: complete
length: 2,171 words
summary: Someone leaves chocolates on your desk. You're determined to track down the sender, certain it's a mistake, and Shouto Todoroki makes himself as unhelpful as possible.
tags: romance, reader-insert, fluff, valentine’s day
warnings: aged up characters (no smut though!!)
There was a box on your desk.
There was a box on your desk, and the sight of it was enough to instantly set you on edge.
The box looked normal enough, if a little fancy, maybe. Its lacquered top glinted brightly under the fluorescent office lighting, its smooth, polished sides waterfalling into the soft matte of your desktop underneath. You weren’t close enough to read the inscription, but you could just make out some elegant, curling script inlaid into the top of the box, possibly the name of whichever company had produced it.
The box looked very normal, in fact. Only, you knew it wasn’t. Boxes didn’t just show up in the middle of the Todoroki Hero Agency, a campus swimming with pros and armed with layers of security so deep it took even you--Shouto Todoroki’s manager--fifteen full minutes to get through screening every morning. It was something very much like being a prison guard at Tartarus.
So either this box meant the agency was dealing with a security breach the likes of which had scarcely been seen before, or someone had mistaken your desk for somebody else’s.
Which, considering it was Valentine’s Day, made a lot more sense.
Buoyed by the realization it wasn't a security risk, you crept closer, peering at the box, and the script resolved itself into the name of the extremely fancy chocolatier in Hiroo district that you made a point of drooling over every time you had to make a house call on Shouto. Their prices were literally insane, so you had never let yourself wander inside, unwilling to shell out an entire week’s pay for a tiny set of chocolates. Even if they did look absolutely fucking unbelievable from the window.
Your mouth watered.
That confirmed it--this was a Valentine's gift, and it was definitely a mistake. For the briefest of seconds, you’d wondered if maybe you had gotten obligatory office friendship chocolates, but this was too much. Some poor, love-sodden flop had gone out, spent their week’s pay on someone they were clearly very serious about, and then proceeded to fuck the entire thing up by plonking their gift straight onto your desk instead of their intended’s.
You frowned, quickly checking the box over for some kind of clue as to who had left it. There was no note included, nothing even mildly helpful that would give you the slightest hint of the person who'd left it here. Which left you with the question of how to return the box to the sender without knowing who they were, or how to pass it on to whoever they’d really meant it for.
You drew your bottom lip between your teeth, staring hard at the surface of the box like you could crack its code if only you glared hard enough. The box stared back at you, unhelpfully silent.
You were still skewering the box with your gaze some minutes later, determined to unravel its secrets, when a deep voice murmured from your doorway.
“You look puzzled."
You startled, whipping around to find Shouto propping up the wall, looking as unfairly handsome as usual. He was watching you intently, those heterochromatic eyes fastened to your face in that careful way he had, the one that always made you feel too warm and slightly unfocused. As usual, it was all you could do to remind yourself that you were a professional and he was something solidly between a friend and a coworker, and no matter how cute and attentive he was, you shouldn't get any ideas.
This morning, he was dressed in his hero uniform, tall and broad-shouldered, his distinctive hair only a little ruffled from his early patrol. It wasn’t often someone tried something in the districts he watched over anymore, probably too nervous to find themselves on the wrong end of the number four hero’s temper. You knew from the reports you received to your phone that the only trouble he’d encountered this morning was a pack of amorous school girls purposely misusing their quirks to draw his attention.
Thirty minutes ago, in fact, you’d almost spit out your coffee laughing at a photo of him looking wildly uncomfortable as he attempted to ice down some girl’s lava quirk with his right hand while fighting off her unfathomably enormous bouquet with his left. It was only right that he should suffer once a year, when every other day he got to stalk about as handsome as you please, oblivious to the effects his appearance had on every breathing person within a five mile radius.
You gave him an absent nod, gaze drawn back to the box on your desk.
“Somebody accidentally left something in here,” you told him, gesturing to it. “I’m trying to figure out how to track down who it was, or who it was meant for.”
Shouto made a small noise in the back of his throat, almost like a cough, and it was enough to startle you into looking up at him again.
“What?” you asked, peering at him. Was he coming down with something? It wasn't often he got sick, but when he did, he usually attempted to hide it and needed to be steamrolled into taking time off. You looked him over, trying to assess whether or not you needed to start badgering him now.
Shouto gazed back at you evenly, his expression deceptively bland. “...You think it’s not for you.”
You felt yourself blink at him, surprised by the comment and struggling to discern his meaning. What did he mean, you think it’s not for you? “Of course it’s not for me, Shouto, it’s from Grégoire Chardin.”
You knew he’d know the place, considering he lived in the same fancy rich people neighborhood as the chocolatier, but Shouto looked unimpressed.
“Why should that mean it’s not for you?” he asked, his tone dry.
The remark caught you off guard, as his comments sometimes did, and you bit down something like a smile. Bless his sweet, oblivious, rich boy heart. Either he overestimated your appeal to his agency staff, or he really did not understand the concepts of cost and return on investment.
“It’s expensive, it’s not something you would give someone as obligatory chocolates,” you explained, watching as a white eyebrow went up. His expression sharpened into something you couldn’t read well.
“It could be a secret admirer,” he said.
You stared blankly back at him, absolutely floored by the idea.
He thought you had a secret admirer? The idea sent an excited thrill all the way down to your toes, but you quickly squashed the feeling. So far, you'd never been on the receiving end of any furtive but romantic gestures, and you really didn't get any interested vibes from anyone in the office, no lingering glances or excuses to spend more time with you. The person who paid you the most amount of attention was Shouto, which was to be expected, considering how closely you worked together. And obviously he wasn't interested, he was just happy to stand in your doorway spouting wild conspiracies about his agency staffers like they were completely reasonable things to say.
“I don’t have a secret admirer,” you told him.
Shouto’s mouth pressed into a thin line and he took an intent step forward into your office. “Is the point of a secret admirer not to be exactly that--secret? How can you be sure?”
You couldn’t help it--you gaped at him, your face going weirdly warm. Okay, was he--was he serious? You obviously weren’t the most unfortunate creature on earth, and you even had your good days, but nobody in their right mind was going to attempt anything with you when there were girls like Nejire Hado and Ibara Shiozaki roaming the hallways of his agency. Even several of the analysts and most of the support crew had you beat out in terms of appeal--literally bless this man for his obvious indifference to your appearance.
“I, uh--thanks for your confidence in me,” you said, fighting down a laugh. “But I assure you, it definitely wasn’t meant for me. I just have to figure out who left it and who they meant it for.”
Shouto shifted impatiently, like he was waiting for something.
“You’re so certain,” he said, sounding frustrated.
“Of course I am,” you waved at him vaguely. It was actually super cute that he thought you could net yourself a dude who was willing to shell out Grégoire Chardin dollars, but you were just wasting time now, lingering over the least important part of this entire affair. “Listen, Shouto. I know sometimes men talk in the locker rooms. If you--if you hear anything, will you let me know? I just want to return it, it looks way too good sitting here.”
It was actually taking all your willpower not to open it and avail yourself of Japan’s finest chocolate, considering you would never have another opportunity like this again. Maybe you should just pretend it was for you....Really, no one could fault you for opening something left in your own office. But...no. No, you knew better.
Shouto appeared indifferent to your internal struggle. He watched you for a long moment, his features impassive. “Under one condition,” he finally allowed.
You cocked an ear to show you were listening, rifling around with the paperwork on your desk to distract yourself from the chocolate. You were strong, a good person. You had willpower like steel. You did not need to eat it, no no no.
“If no one comes looking for it by the end of the day, you will open it,” he said, moving closer.
You glanced up at him, shocked. “Shouto, this is someone else’s gift,” you hissed. “I can’t just open it.”
He placed a large palm down on your desk, leaning over you slightly. “That is my bargain.”
“You want me to steal somebody’s shit in your own agency,” you accused him. You tried not to pay attention to how close he had gotten, how straight his nose was up close, the way his eyes seemed brighter and his mouth pulled into a pout almost too pretty for a man.
The rest of his expression slipped into something like annoyance, matching his pout. “If no one comes for it, then it must be evident that it was meant for you.”
You suppressed a derisive laugh. Now was not the time to get shirty with your own boss, especially when his delusions were kind of sweet. It was honestly just short of a miracle that a man who looked like Shouto did could possibly think anyone on earth would have a thing for you, regardless of his own tastes.
“What if they’re just too shy to ask for it back?” you asked, watching those heterochromatic eyes flick over you curiously.
“If it’s as expensive as you say, someone will come looking,” he said. Which was actually kind of annoyingly reasonable.
A smirk flitted across his maddeningly perfect face when you failed to come up with another argument. He had a point, and he knew it.
You let out a gusty sigh. “Fine, but only because I’m certain someone will come looking for it. Please be subtle when you’re gathering info, okay? I'm sure this is embarrassing for whoever made this mistake.”
Shouto looked almost offended. “I am perfectly capable of being subtle,” he intoned in his deep voice.
This time, you did laugh. He was quiet, maybe, very perceptive, and unobtrusive when he wanted to be, but no one had ever accused the man of possessing tact. “Yeah, okay. Just, try to channel more subtlety than you think you need, okay? No one else but the sender needs to know about the mix up.”
There was a moment of silence, and then Shouto was leaning over you more fully, eyes glittering strangely as his clean, fresh scent met your nose. You froze in your chair, brain going horrifyingly vacant as he leaned impossibly nearer. What the fuck was he doing?
“It will be like I’m not even asking,” Shouto promised, his voice light. “Not asking anyone at all.”
You tried to scrape your thoughts back into something resembling order, but the effort was all but futile. You needed to get him out of your space stat before you embarrassed yourself.
”Okay, then it’s a deal,” you said quickly. “Now go...flambé a villain or something.”
Shouto lingered for a long moment, his mouth curling a little at the corner, like he was being let in on a secret you couldn’t hear. His eyes brushed over you, almost like a physical touch. And then he was gone, pulling open the door to your office, looking annoyingly pleased with himself.
“You will see,” he said by way of farewell. “You will find out how subtle I can be.”
You stared at him in confusion, but he didn’t explain himself. He just smirked, and closed the door behind himself.
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swordgayist · 3 years
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cultural appropriation in ATLA (hinduism edition)
i’m sure there’s already a ton of posts about this, but whatever, i’m still making one idc. 
ATLA’s cultural appropriation, everyone knows about it, the white people don’t speak about it, and the asian and indigenous people get ignored. we know the cycle. but i wanted to come here and highlight some of the most prominent examples of ATLA abusing hinduism, as i am kinda sorta hindu (i was raised in a hindu household, i go to chinmaya mission, that kinda shit). i might forget some things so keep that in mind.
this is gonna be divided into 3 main sections, since there are different ways that they disrespect hinduism that i don’t wanna lump together.
and i’d say i know a lot about hinduism but that doesn’t make me an expert, obviously, so if other hindus have anything to add and/or correct then please do !! and if anyone else wants to share how their cultures were appropriated then please do that as well !!
so let’s get started shall we?
appropriating hinduism
1) the avatar
we’ll start with the most obvious example: the avatar itself
i know that there are parts of the avatar mythos that are taken from other cultures as well but the idea of the avatar itself is primarily from hinduism.
basically in hinduism, the term dashavatara refers to the 10 reincarnations of lord vishnu (the god of preservation), with avatar(a) meaning form or incarnation in sanskrit, and das(a) meaning ten. it was said that whenever the world was out of balance, lord vishnu would come down to earth in a certain form to restore balance. Each reincarnation is considered a different life with a different story. the avatars of lord vishnu are often considered the saviors of the world.
so basically, the central idea of the show and the actual name of the show is largely based on hinduism.
2) chakras
many different indian religions have a concept of chakras (chakra meaning wheel or circle in sanskrit), but hinduism is the one that primarily preaches the system of seven chakras, the version used in ATLA.
chakras connect the physical body to the ‘subtle’ body (referring more to the spirit and the psyche) by connecting parts of the body to aspects of the mind. the idea is that through different forms of steady meditation you can manipulate the different chakras and allow the pure flow of energy through the body.
the whole idea of chakras on ATLA is that aang has to unblock them all to let the cosmic energy flow through him so that he can go into the avatar state at will. so yeah, pretty much that whole idea was taken from hinduism.
3) terminologies
these are just a few terms that were taken from hinduism. i’m pretty sure there are more that i can’t think of right now but yeah.
“agni” kai 
i’ll be honest i don’t know where the ‘kai’ part is from, i don’t think it’s from hinduism but if it is well fuck me i guess.  ‘agni’ in hinduism is the god of fire, so the creators used it in ‘agni kai’, the name for a firebending duel.
“bumi”
this is in reference to the hindu word for ‘earth’, which is bhoomi. this is also in reference to our goddess of earth, bhoomi devi. also this doesn’t really bother me but i wonder if the creators knew that bhoomi is a name typically used for women (as are most hindi names ending in ‘i’/‘ee’).
in general, concepts like having multiple complex gods (the spirits) who are capable of good and evil and the reincarnation cycle are prominent in a lot of asian cultures, including (and arguably primarily) hinduism.
mocking hinduism
now we get into the mockery of hinduism in ATLA, because it is very much there.
1) whoever the fuck that baboon guy in the spirit world was
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now what the fuck was this.
i mean i wouldn’t say this is the most egregious example of them making fun of brown people but lord why did this even need to be there? this random guy from the spirit world has an indian accent ? and is fervently chanting ‘om’ for some reason, and it’s clearly meant to be seen as comical. also portraying brown people as monkeys....... really.
2) combustion man/sparky sparky boom man
when rewatching ATLA in 2019 i actually had no idea that this was a thing, because the last time i had watched it was as a kid and i didn’t finish it.
so lord was i in for a surprise when i saw...
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now... now what.
if you didn’t know, combustion man’s ‘third eye’ is designed to replicate the hindu god of destruction, lord shiva. right down to the vibhuti on his forehead (referring to the three line markings around the third eye).
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in hinduism, lord shiva’s third eye is used to reduce people to ashes, though as far as i can recall, not very frequently. the primary significance of the third eye is that it represents the ability of higher spiritual thought and higher consciousness.
the ATLA writers take the ACTUAL significance of the third eye, throw it out the window, and then take its destructive abilities to make a super duper cool and dangerous new firebending technique.
and if that wasn’t bad enough, the actual person who uses this technique, and is meant to emulate a GOD who is PRAISED, is a scary, burly, half metal man who is a villain and an assassin. not to mention the design of his facial hair replicates that super duper scary “terrorist” depiction of brown people, particularly of muslims, that white people are so thoroughly terrified of for no reason. 
this is a parody of a god, and they portrayed him as this terrifying, maniacal fucking assassin who, along with p’li, the combustion bender from LOK, is constantly referred to as a “third-eyed freak”. i’ve made this analogy before and i’ll do it again, this is like making jesus into a hitman.
now onto my favorite example...
3) guru pathik
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ah, this motherfucker.
i don’t really have any problems with him as a character, i mean hell, must’ve taken a fuck ton of patience to handle aang’s “why would choose cosmic energy over katara” bullshit.
but we all know it, we see it plain as day, don’t even try to deny it.
“guru” literally just means teacher or guide, so i don’t really know why pathik needed to be referred to as “guru” so distinctively from aang’s other teachers and guides, but that’s just extremely trivial compared to all the other issues with this character.
first of all what is this character design? what is he even wearing? if they’re trying to replicate the clothes of swamis and priests and stuff this is already wrong, realized people don’t dress like this. and why the fuck does he have an indian accent? and why was this indian accent done by a non indian (brian george)?
once again, the poor but extremely heavy indian accent is clearly meant to be mocking, if it wasn’t, they wouldn’t’ve gone out of their way to get a non indian person to DO an indian accent, and instead they would’ve just gotten an actual indian person to play the role. 
and oh yeah, the onion and banana juice. because hindus just eat weird shit right.
whether it’s actually weird or not, the show certainly portrays it as weird. and as far as i know no hindu actually fucking drinks onion and banana juice.
ironic because brown people can absolutely destroy white people in cooking. but i digress.
i know what you’re all waiting for. because the guru apparently didn’t have enough fun with guru pathik, so they just had to come back to him in book 3:
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where do i begin.
so this is obviously john o’bryan’s super funny and hilarious depiction of pathik as a hindu god.
usually when a god has multiple arms it’s to carry an array of things, from flowers to weapons to instruments, and one hand is typically free to bless devotees (ie. goddess durga and lord vishnu respectively):
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but of course white people see this as weird and so they make fun of it, hence guru pathik having multiple arms just flailing about aimlessly (save for the two that are being used to carry the aforementioned onion and banana juice).
then there’s the whole light behind pathik’s head which is usually depicted in drawings of hindu gods to show that they are celestial.
also what the fuck is he holding? is that supposed to be a veena? because this is what a veena looks like:
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and i assume the reason this was added was to mock the design of goddess saraswathi, who carries a veena:
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but that right there in the picture of pathik looks more like a tambura than a veena. 
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and it also just kinda looks like a banjo?
but i guess the animators just searched up “long indian instrument” and slapped it on there. actually no, that’s giving them too much credit, they probably didn’t search it up at all. 
and then the actual scene is pathik singing crazily about chakras tasting good or something while playing the non-veena and it’s all supposed to be some funky crazy hallucination that aang is having due to sleep deprivation. just some crazy dream, just as crazy as talking appa and momo sparring with swords or tree-ozai coming to life.
our gurus and swamis and sadhus and generally realized people are very respected in hinduism, they’re people we look up to and honor very much. and our GODS are beings that we literally worship. and the writers just take both and make caricatures out of them for other white people to laugh at.
4) other shit
before we move to the next portion i just wanna mention there are also smaller backhanded jabs that i can’t really remember now, but one example was when zuko was all “we’ll be sure to remember that, guru goody goody”. or when a character would meditate and say “om” only when the meditation is supposed to be portrayed as comical or pointless. or in bitter work when sokka was rambling on about karma. small things like that. but moving on.
south asian representation, or lack thereof
now i finally get to the “losing” hinduism part. by this i mean the lack of actual representation there is of south asians (the region where hinduism is primarily practiced) despite the fact that hinduism plays such a big role in the show’s world design.
i think it’s safe to say that broadly the main cast consists of aang, katara, sokka, zuko, toph, azula, iroh, mai, ty lee, and suki. 
a grand total of none of these characters are south asian. the writers don’t even attempt to add any south asian main characters. 
there are characters with dark skin, like haru and jet, but a) they’re not confirmed to be south asian and don’t have any south asian features or south asian names, b) they’re side characters, so they don’t count as representation, and c) even if they were south asian and main characters, jet wouldn’t even count because he’s portrayed as a terrorist.
the ONLY truly south asian character we get is fucking guru pathik. so yeah. not representation.
i don’t get how the creators of this show rip off of hinduism (among many other south asian cultures they rip off of), mock indians, and then don’t even have the decency to HAVE a main character who is south asian.
i’ve never gotten a chance to compile all this, and this definitely isn’t all the creators have done, but i hope this was somewhat informative.
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Warriors Analysis 2: A Breakdown of the Crow/Night/Breeze Family Dynamic
I said I would do it, so here we are. The big doozy. For this one, I’m going to putting all of the sourced scenes in a linked google doc, because I just don’t want to make this post a million miles long. Instead, for this post, I will sum up all of the conclusions made after reviewing every scene involving the family from Po3 through OotS, with other relevant information from other books included.
Context of this one: I’ve watched (and participated in) a lot of debate over this family. Just about every single argument I’ve seen tends to:
1) rely on a person’s opinion of a character overall to how they feel about the family (”I found Nightcloud annoying” often goes along with “Nightcloud is equally bad of a parent” or “Breezepelt was a bad person so I don’t sympathize with him in the family situation”)
2) misremember canon
3) rely on a person’s headcanons of what actually happened to shape their judgement of the family (”Nightcloud spoiled Breezepelt and told him Crowfeather is bad” when there are zero canon scenes of this happening)
Some ground rules: I’m relying on breaking down the canon scenes in the books. I am NOT inserting my own thoughts or beliefs as to what happened behind the scenes. If there’s anything bordering on that (”this behavior implies X”), it’ll be clearly stated that it’s an interpretation. I ask that if you want to comment or debate this analysis that you do the same. People’s headcanons shaping how they remember the family is the thing that frustrated me enough to spend hours digging this up. As a personal request, please don’t use this post to say “Nightcloud still sucks and I hate her”/”Breezepelt still sucks and I hate him”/”neglect isn’t abuse” - the latter is definitively incorrect and is upsetting to hear as a survivor of abuse. “X character still is bad” just takes away from the point of this - which is not to say “Breezepelt is a good person”, but PURELY to breakdown the family dynamic. With that out of the way, let’s GO:
After looking at literally every scene involving Breezepelt, Crowfeather, and Nightcloud and analyzing the ones that involve or mention them as a family, here’s some key points. The scenes that back these points up are included and detailed in this doc.
Breezepaw is introduced to us as a bit aggressive and rude, and his mentor, Whitetail, wishes to Crowfeather that she would teach him manners (earning her no response from him)
We first properly see Nightcloud during the dog attack in The Sight, when Breezepaw returns from checking the barrier. Breezepaw reports that there is no damage, and Crowfeather immediately questions if he actually checked all the way around. Breezepaw tells him “Of course!”, and Nightcloud says that Crowfeather should trust his son more.
This suggests Nightcloud is ready to defend Breezepaw whenever. However, as ThunderClan is leaving, Breezepaw mutters that WindClan can manage on their own. Nightcloud immediately scolds him and compliments Lionpaw for saving Heatherpaw during the battle.
Later, at the daylight Gathering, Lionpaw and Breezepaw are buried underground. Crowfeather and Nightcloud help dig them out, and Breezepaw is not breathing when he comes out. Jaypaw has to pull dirt out of his throat to save his life.
Leafpool says to Crowfeather that she would “give [her] last drop of blood to save [his kit]”. Nightcloud sharply retorts that “our kit was lucky that Jaypaw was here”.
Nightcloud carries Breezepaw away from the scene “like a kit”. Crowfeather offers to help, but she carries him on her own. She does not push him away/force him away/shout at him, she literally just chooses to carry him. Nightcloud spends the rest of the daylight Gathering curled around Lionpaw and Breezepaw and keeping them resting.
We learn these things from the Sight: Breezepaw and Crowfeather seem to have a tense relationship, but that isn’t fully developed. Nightcloud is willing to defend him from Crowfeather’s doubts, but notably does not defend him when he acts like a punk in front of her. She is bothered by Leafpool’s comment about giving her life for Breezepaw (which I personally find pretty reasonable to be bothered by), but counters by giving her gratitude to Jaypaw. She wants to carry Breezepaw after he nearly dies, but isn’t pushing Crowfeather away or denying him anything like many people claim.
In Dark River, Crowfeather encourages Breezepaw’s bias against ThunderClan, telling him that they “celebrate mixed blood” in a tone that implies it as a negative thing. (It seems implied he does this to get to Leafpool, who is upset by his comment.)
Jaypaw is able to feel Nightcloud’s jealous emotions on a few occasions, but she actually never says anything to Leafpool or Crowfeather about it.
In Outcast, Crowfeather is called to go on the journey to the Tribe. Onestar tells him to take Breezepaw, who has gotten in trouble a few times. Breezepaw makes it very plain he doesn’t want to go and worries that his Clanmates are just trying to get rid of him. Crowfeather wants to go, but “sighs” over the idea of taking Breezepaw. To me, he comes off as disinterested and possibly disappointed that he has to bring him. Crowfeather snaps at Breezepaw for asking to say goodbye to his friends, saying “There isn’t time!” even though literally no one is rushing them to leave. Nightcloud comes to say goodbye, but Crowfeather is distant and doesn’t respond to her.
Throughout Outcast, each POV character has at least one (if not many) moments where they think about Crowfeather/Breezepaw and feel pity for Breezepaw, despite really hating him. Hollypaw especially thinks often about how she appreciates Brambleclaw for encouraging and supporting her, and the apprentices all seem to realize that Breezepaw is angry because his father “doesnt seem to like him”. 
When questioning why they have to help the tribe, Crowfeather just tells Breezepaw “You’ll never understand loyalty.”
When they run into Purdy, Breezepaw is pretty rude to him. Crowfeather doesn’t interrupt a single time throughout multiple insults, then reacts by hitting him across the ear without saying anything, which is noted as “a hard blow”.
Breezepaw nearly dies falling off into a ravine after thinking he’s discovered a faster way. Crowfeather pulls him back and snaps at him, expressing no concern for his life. In Eclipse, Crowfeather pointedly does not compliment Breezepaw’s catch of the rabbit, which angers Breezepaw.
During the reveal of Leaf/Crow in the last book, Breezepelt and Nightcloud stand by Crow’s side and don’t publicly turn on him or say anything against him.
This journey gives us a lot of insight into Crow and Breeze’s dynamic. Breezepaw is pretty obviously a little punk throughout this book, but Crowfeather has no healthy way of communicating with him or discipling him. Instead, he snaps at him, hits him, or ignores him, all of which just feeds into Breezepaw’s anger. Nightcloud is not present for any of this and has no way of controlling their interactions here, which could have been a perfect opportunity for Crowfeather to build a relationship with his son if it were true that Night had prevented this.
Breezepelt shows up in Fading Echoes, training in the Dark forest. A few things are made explicit: he is being manipulated by the Dark Forest and Tigerstar’s words have an almost hypnotic effect on him. The cats present egg him on against Crowfeather, feeding into his belief that Crow does not value him. (Side note, I find it really interesting that in this book, Breezepelt has notable value in the warrior code [which encourages his hate towards Crow] and the DF cats encourage this, saying it is “strong” in his blood. Next time we see him, though, he wants to destroy it.)
Flametail randomly thinks about Breezepelt’s family while spending time with Tawnypelt, feeling glad he has nicer kin.
We get the infamous scene where Lion and Breeze fight. Breeze and Crow were both trespassing on ThunderClan territory and Lion caught the prey Breezepelt was about to catch. He intentionally eggs Breezepelt into a fight (rather than just attacking him himself). Leafpool interrupts, asking how Crow can watch this. Nightcloud then shows up and insists Crowfeather has only one son. Leafpool jumps in between them as Breezepelt is leaping for Lionblaze, and she gets clawed. Crowfeather hauls him off and throws him aside, then keeps talking to Leafpool, who tells him she loved him.
Nightcloud then comes over and pulls Crowfeather away from Leafpool. She sinks her claws into his pelt to do this. However, it’s worth noting that this scene contains MANY references to blood every time claws come out - she does not draw blood and he does not express any signal of pain. It’s likely she used her claws only as a means of holding onto him, not to cause him harm. Crowfeather turns on him, and Breezepelt wails before getting between them, telling Crowfeather to leave his mother alone.
Nightcloud doesn’t react rationally in this scene - but neither does any character. Lionblaze is an ass, Breezepelt is an ass, Crowfeather is an ass, and Leafpool is still walking around making declarations of her former love in front of Crowfeather’s wife.
Nightcloud is one of the cats to react rudely to Hollyleaf’s return, but she doesn’t directly attack/challenge her. (This is actually the last time we see Nightcloud.)
The final meaningful scene is in The Last Hope, when Breezepelt fights Lionblaze. Crowfeather intervenes and says he will not allow Breezepelt to hurt him. Breezepelt retorts he always knew Crowfeather hated him, which Crow denies.
“I never hated you!” Crowfeather growled. “That’s just what you were determined to believe. And Nightcloud encouraged you.”
“It’s not her fault!” Breezepelt spat.
“No,” Crowfeather hissed. “I should have done something much earlier...”
This is the first and only time this is blamed on Nightcloud. This is the only indication we have that this could be true.
Some other notable things:
Crowfeather took Nightcloud as a mate to prove his loyalty, not out of love. (This is said in After Sunset: We need to talk)
The Ultimate Guide also confirms the above, but is a questionable source given the many errors included in it. It states that Crowfeather resents Nightcloud (for not being Leafpool), and that Nightcloud coddled Breezepelt. However, the latter is never shown in the story (and the opposite is actually shown when she scolds him).
In Crowfeather’s Trial, Crowfeather is pushed to recognize his anger towards his son and apologize for his behavior towards him and Nightcloud. Even in an entire book from Crow’s perspective (which provides opportunity for memories, flashbacks, etc), there is no indication that Nightcloud actually pushed Breezepelt to hate Crowfeather. There’s a throwaway mention that Crowfeather was too strict or too rough with Breezepelt as a kit, but it’s never actually said that Nightcloud told him this/kept him away/etc. (IE: it’s impossible to say if Nightcloud screamed this at him or asked him once to be gentle. We just don’t know!)
With all this said, here’s my take on the dynamic:
Crowfeather was a neglectful father and an inconsiderate mate. The only scene we get where he seems to actually get along with Breezepaw is when he is encouraging him to dislike ThunderClan by feeding into hatred for “mixed blood” cats. In all other scenes, he: 1) ignores his bad behavior, 2) is unnecessarily harsh to him or dismissive of him, 3) questions and undermines him, 4) does not have healthy ways of addressing his poor behavior (IE, he ignores and turns away from him rather than discussing it when all the apprentices are in trouble and the other warriors are scolding them, he flat-out hits Breezepaw at one point after saying nothing to intervene in his rudeness), and 5) blames Nightcloud for their bad relationship. Crowfeather is provided plenty of opportunities to interact with Breezepaw while Nightcloud isn’t present (in fact, Nightcloud shows up very little - most scenes of the family have just Breeze and Crow, there are many books where Nightcloud isn’t even mentioned).
Nightcloud was literally just being a normal mom and was often pushed to feeling jealous around Leafpool, often because Leafpool doesn’t have any boundaries around hinting about loving Crowfeather for some reason. I was actually really shocked by how... absolutely fuckin brazen Leafpool is 24/7 about waltzing up to Crowfeather while his wife is standing right there and going “just so you know......... i miss you........... i’d give my life for you......” It’s just WEIRD. IMO, it’s pretty damn reasonable for that to make Nightcloud irritated! Most of the time, she never actually voices her jealousy, we just know about it because of Jaypaw’s ability. When she does, it’s sometimes done by complimenting someone else or giving credit to another cat, like when Jaypaw saves Breezepaw. There is zero text in the story supporting the idea that Nightcloud was overbearing or that she spoiled him: we have TWO SCENES where she has character moments around this. In the first, she is defending him from Crowfeather’s doubt, and in the second, she is scolding him for being ungrateful to ThunderClan for their help.
Breezepelt was a kid that grew up feeling unloved, unappreciated, and angry and resentful as a result. The Dark Forest, not Nightcloud, fed into this belief, but we also have a whole lot of scenes that show why that feeling of resentment towards Crowfeather is there to begin with.
The final hot take: If you believe Nightcloud ‘spoiled’ Breezepelt or that she was ‘overbearing and possessive’, you need to reread Po3 and OotS. It’s just not there.
(Bonus: I love Leafpool but god, girl, you need to read a room.)
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Aim For The Heart | Chapter 3: Plan B
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Pairing: hitman!jk x female reader
Genre: E2L, romance, drama, angst
WC: 5.1k
Warnings for this chapter: language (jk will continue to have a potty mouth), a gun, attempted murder
Tag list; @hopekookies @moonchild1 @barbellastyles98 @teresaisla @ggukkieland @mwitsmejk @scuzmunkie @sugaslittlekookies @jaebeomsblackgf @moon-asia
summary; Jeon Jungkook is an infamous hitman, known for his inability to fail at whatever job is thrown his way. At least, up until now. Y/n, a kind-hearted and full of life teacher, is his newest target. Jeon isn’t sure who would put a hit on this seemingly innocent girl, but fortunately, that isn’t his problem. All he has to do is pull the trigger. 
Previous → Next
"Excuse m-me, sir."
Jungkook turns and his heart stops in his chest when he sees the wide eyes of a horribly familiar girl staring up at him.
You're clutching a piece of paper in your hands as a smile spreads on your face when you look at him closer. Jungkook blinks a few times, the rest of him frozen in horror at being caught.
"Th-This is for you." You hold out the paper.
Jungkook takes it limply, his eyes never leaving yours.
When the initial shock leaves his body, he tears his eyes away from you and looks down at what you gave him. He squints in confusion at what he sees. Then he looks back up at his target.
What the hell is this?
"Uh-"
"I hope it isn't c-creepy. I j-just thought it might make you s-smile." You brighten when he looks back down at the picture.
Jungkook swallows thickly.
On the piece of notebook paper, is a terribly drawn picture. But that isn't what's gotten his attention. On it, is an image of what he can only guess to be himself, sitting on a bench.
He looks back up at you, "Um, I don't understand..." His voice gives out on him as he fights the urge to bolt. Everything about this situation is telling him to run. You know him. You've known he was following you.
But you aren't outright telling him that you know...
What the hell does he do now?
You smile shyly, a small blush creeping up your cheeks. "I know it m-must seem weird. But p-please let m-me explain."
He nods uncertainly, forcing his feet to stay planted where he is.
"Ok," You wring your hands together and he watches in confusion as you blink a few times. "O-Ok, I like to d-draw. And sometimes when I d-don't have anything else to draw, I draw p-people. Then I give them the p-picture as a present to make them h-happy!" You bounce a little on the balls of your feet.
"But-..." Jungkook scratches his neck. "When did you do this?" He's starting to think maybe he's out of the line of fire. Perhaps he jumped to conclusions and you don't suspect him of following you at all.
You put a finger to your chin as you think about that. Then you tap your cheek, blinking hard a few times. "Mmm, I think it was Wednesday? Maybe Thursday..." You start mumbling to yourself.
Jungkook raises a brow, watching you curiously.
He looks around, no one seems to be paying attention to the two of you. Good, he can't be seen as one of the last people to be with you.
You suddenly speak up again, drawing his attention back to you.
"W-Well, anyway. I decided to m-make it and give it to you b-because you looked sad. Are y-you lonely?" You look up at him with big eyes and he blinks, looking away for a second to regain his composure.
Damn, she's nosy.
Jungkook clears his throat and looks back at you, "I'm not lonely. And as much as I appreciate the thought, I don't need this." Then he shoves the picture into your chest, making you flinch and grab it.
"Have a good day." He says curtly, then he turns and walks as quickly as he can away from the situation.
After a minute of walking, Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief to be out of that. He messed up. Now he really needs to get this done quickly before the target figures anything out for real this time.
The relief is short-lived though. A second later, he flinches when he hears a voice calling out to him and the sound of feet running.
"Wait! Mister, p-please wait!"
Jungkook pulls his hat down further and picks up his pace, trying to find a crowd he can lose you in.
He's squeezing in-between people and pushing past others, ignoring their sounds of annoyance. Then a hand grabs the sleeve of his jacket and he internally groans.
Shit, she's fast.
Jungkook shakes you off of him and turns to glare at you.
 "What?" He snaps.
You blink and cock your head to the side for a second before straightening it out, a crooked smile forming on your face.
"I w-wasn't able to introduce m-myself." You state simply.
Jungkook audibly sighs, "Look, I'm busy."
"Oh." Your face falls and he resists the urge to roll his eyes.
You look at the ground for a second, then you look back at him, your eyes bright again and the smile back on your face. "P-Please, take the picture. I have n-no room in my bag f-for it."
Jungkook sighs again and snatches the picture out of your hands, "Fine. Happy?" He waves it in the air before folding it and sticking it in his jacket pocket.
You nod happily, "My n-name is ____."
 I know.
"Alright." He looks away, trying to give you the hint that he's done with the conversation.
"What's y-your name?"
Gosh, she never shuts up, does she?
"Jungkook."
...
...
...Fuck.
Why in the literal hell would he say his real name just now?
He wasn't thinking. He just wanted you to shut up. 
You see the look of pure panic on his face and laugh to make him feel better, "Nice t-to meet you, J-Jungkook." He must have trouble talking with people, you think. 
"Ok, well yeah, it was nice to meet you. Thank you for the picture. Goodbye." He turns and all but runs off, finally disappearing into a crowd.
You watch him go into the big crowd and you smile, he was so kind. Giggling and looking down at your fingers, you turn and start making your way home. _______________
Jungkook hauls ass all the way back to his place, constantly making sudden turns and glancing around to make sure you're not hot on his heels.
When he finally makes it up the stairs and into his apartment, he locks the door and yanks his shoes off, hurling them at the front door and flinching when they slam against it loudly.
There aren't enough curse words in his vocabulary for him to scream into his pillow that would satisfy him right now. He starts to shake, the adrenaline pumping through his veins as his brain goes into overdrive trying to figure out what to do now.
He's never been caught.
Not once. 
He's never even been close to getting caught. 
In and out, one and done.
That's how it's always been for him.
Jungkook takes his hat off and tosses it onto the tiny dining table, then he walks over to his bed and flops onto it, face down.
"I quit." He mumbles into the comforter forlornly.
Then he lays there for a minute, contemplating everything.
"I can't quit..." He mutters to himself a second later.
It's impossible.
He can't quit.
He just needs to get it over with tonight.
No more hesitating, no more distractions, no more overthinking. It doesn't matter that she saw his face and knows his name. She'll be dead by morning anyway, and it's not like her friend is here for her to tell anything about him to.
Once he's calmed himself down enough to think clearly, Jungkook gets up and moves to his closet to pull out the safe. He puts in the code and it swings open when he gives it a little tug. He takes out the gun that he failed to use the other night, then he unloads it, pouring the little bullets onto his bed. Jungkook counts them before reloading them, then he dumps them out again, counting them before once again reloading them.
He does this whenever he needs to think, it helps him concentrate. When he's unloaded and reloaded it four times, he's finally able to take a deep breath. He sits on the edge of his bed, his head hanging for a minute before he lifts it and stares at the wall. _______________
When you get home, you kick your shoes off and head straight to the kitchen to grab a snack. You grab a little drinkable yogurt and grin as you open it up and take a sip. 
Then you move to sit on your couch, still gently sipping your yogurt. When you're almost halfway done with your snack, you pull out your phone and text Mina. 
You 4:32- Mina, I met someone today ^-^
Then you toss your phone next to you and grab your TV remote, turning it on you quickly find the drama you're currently binging and you hit play. 
After a few minutes, you hear your phone bling. You pause the show and grab it to see Mina has answered you. 
Mina 4:40- YOU WHAT? WHO
You laugh quietly and you're typing a reply when a picture of you and Mina making silly faces pops up on the screen and the ringtone you made special for her starts ringing. You answer it quickly, laughing when she shouts through the phone immediately. 
"WAS IT A BOY??" She shrieks, almost breaking your eardrums.
"Y-Yeah." You can feel the blush creeping up your neck at her next words.
"Is he cute? Is he single?"
"M-Mina!" You cry in embarrassment, "It isn't l-like that." 
You hear a disappointed sigh leave her lips, "Well, what is it like then?" She asks in curiosity. 
"I gave him a p-picture that I drew. He t-took it, Mina! He didn't say I was c-creepy like the other girl did." You're grinning from ear to ear. 
She laughs quietly as she realizes what this is about. "Ohh, so you drew a picture of him and gifted it to him?"
"Yup!"
"That's so sweet of you, ____. And he actually took it?" 
You nod, then remember she can't see you. 
"Y-Yes, he took it. He said th-thank you, and he told m-me his name!"
Mina laughs again at your excitement, "What's his name?"
"Jungkook."
"Ohhh," There's a teasing hint to her tone, "Sounds like a name fit for a cute guy. So, was he cute?" 
You bite your lip then whisper, "Uh, yes. He was c-cute." 
"Awww! ____ has her first cruuuush!" Mina shrieks again and you shake your head. 
"No, Mina. I d-don't have a crush on h-him! I just thought he was n-nice. He seemed like he would m-make a good friend." You pull at the hem of your skirt, your knees tucked up to your chin. 
You hear her giggle on the other side, then her tone turns serious. "Ok, you're right ____. No man is good enough to date my sweet best friend. Don't you dare pursue him until I get there and give my approval!"
You roll your eyes, "I'm not going to p-pursue him at all, silly."
You two chat for a couple of minutes, then you let her go because you both need to figure something out for dinner soon. 
You decide to finish the episode of the drama, but you can't resist and watch a few more after it. By the time you're able to peel your eyes away from the TV, the sun is starting to go down. You rub your eyes in confusion, I didn't realize how many episodes I watched. 
You stretch your arms above your head and yawn, "Ah, I should g-get some d-dinner," You stand up to go to your kitchen and scrounge around. You come up with a few pieces of celery, half a jar of kimchi, and one hard-boiled egg. 
You scrunch your nose at the emptiness of the fridge. You'll just have to go to the grocery store tomorrow. But until then, you decide to just go out and get something to eat for dinner and maybe find something for your lunch tomorrow. 
You pull your tennis shoes on and grab your bucket hat, plopping it onto your head. It doesn't go with the rest of your pastel outfit, but you don't really care. If it's comfy, then it's a win for you. 
Then you take your bag and sling it over your shoulder. Remembering to lock the door, you leave and head down the stairs. _______________
Jungkook thanks the man at the food stand as he takes the fishcake skewer and hands his money to the man. Then he bows and turns to make his way through the crowds of people that always come out at night in Seoul. 
He finds a bench in a park a little ways from the hustle and bustle of the city, so he sits there and takes a deep breath of the crisp evening air. Jungkook takes a bite of his fishcake, chewing it thoughtfully as he goes over the new plan of action in his head. 
A few people pass by while he sits there, one of them is a small girl with her mother. She reminds Jungkook of that little girl, Mi-Rah, from the other day. His throat constricts when he remembers the child's words to him. Then he scoffs and takes another bite of fishcake, chewing it aggressively. If that annoying kid hadn't distracted him, he wouldn't be sitting out here right now trying to come up with a new plan...stupid. 
Jungkook finishes his food, then he stretches his long limbs out, grunting from exhaustion. This hit is really taking a mental toll on him for literally no reason at all. He can't wait to be done with it. 
He rubs his hands together and stands up, stretching a bit more before heading in the direction of the target's home. 
He's going to finish this. 
Tonight. 
When Jungkook is a few blocks from her apartment, he slows down and glances around before slipping into the dark alleyway from the other night. Once he's in the dark, he slips the gun from his pocket and checks the bullets. It's an obsessive thing at this point, but it makes him feel more secure. 
He slides the last bullet back in, then-
"Jungkook?"
The gun clatters to the ground with a loud sound as Jungkook whips around to see the one person he doesn't want to see at this moment. 
Gosh fucking damn it all to hell. 
You're standing there, looking up at him from under your bucket hat. Jungkook scans you quickly, noticing you're still in your light yellow skirt and pink blouse from earlier. You have some bags in your hands as you smile at him. 
You don't seem to have taken notice of the fact that he literally just dropped the gun he was going to shoot you with. So, Jungkook quickly kicks it to the side, relieved when it slides behind a bag of trash. 
"Uhm, hi...____, right?" It takes all his willpower not to fumble over his words after being caught for the second time on the same day.
You nod happily at the fact that he remembered your name, "Yes! F-Funny to run into y-you again!"
Jungkook chuckles dryly, "Yeah, what a coincidence."  
You gesture to him with one of the bags in your hands, "D-Do you live n-near here?" 
Jungkook's nose twitches, but he keeps a straight face. "No, I just...I was out for a walk." 
"Ohh! Night walks are th-the best." 
"Mhm.." Jungkook looks around, trying to figure out what he should do. Maybe he should just do it now...yeah, that's the best idea. 
"So, what did you buy?" Jungkook asks suddenly, gesturing towards your bags. You take the bait instantly and brighten, bending down to place your bags on the ground so you can show him. 
The second you aren't looking, Jungkook crouches and grabs the gun from behind the trash bag he kicked it towards.
"Well, now. L-Let me see." You're crouched on your heels, looking through the bags. Jungkook cocks the gun and raises it, his finger on the trigger. 
"I've g-got an apple, that was from the k-kind old woman at the fruit s-stand-"
He's about to pull it when another voice rings out in the alley. 
"Miss ___! Is that you?"
Jungkook quickly brings the gun down, switching it to safety and stuffing it into the front of his pants. Clearly, he isn't thinking straight right now. 
You look up at that moment and glance behind Jungkook before a smile of recognition lights up your face. "Ohh! Mr. Ch-Chang! What are y-you doing out this l-late at night?"
Jungkook bites his lip in pure frustration and turns to see an older man smiling at the pair of you. "I was taking my trash out, and I thought I'd heard your voice coming from over here."
You grab your bags and scoot past Jungkook to greet the older man properly, "It's s-so nice to see you. It's b-been a l-long time!" 
Mr. Chang smiles and nods, "It has indeed. And who is this handsome young fellow?"
He looks around you at Jungkook, who screams internally, not knowing anything that could make this situation worse. 
"That's m-my new friend, Jungkook."
Oh, ok. So, that makes it worse. Good. 
Not only was his plan foiled, but this old man now has a visual and a name to put to someone should anything happen to you. 
Great, just great. 
"Ah, it's very nice to meet you, Jungkook." Mr. Chang holds out a shaky hand and Jungkook takes it and gives it a shake. "Oh, this one's got a good shake." The old man winks at you and you laugh. 
Jungkook forces a smile onto his face. 
He's always been good at charming people, that's what makes him so good at his job. 
"It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Chang." He says politely. 
"Well, very good. Very good. What do you say we all get out of this creepy old alley? Let's get into the light." Mr. Chang leads you and Jungkook out until the street lamps pour golden artificial light onto the three of you. Jungkook wants to flinch away, it feels like the light is exposing all the dirty little secrets he's got hidden away. 
But he remains stoic. 
You and the man exchange a few words before Mr. Chang clears his throat, "Alright dear, I really am an old man, I must be heading to bed. Jungkook," Jungkook looks up from where he was staring at the ground, "Hm?"
"Be a good lad and walk my young friend home?" He looks at Jungkook with such kind and trusting eyes that Jungkook finds himself looking away. 
"Of course." He mumbles. 
This man doesn't suspect a thing. He has no idea that the guy he's asking to protect his friend is the one that was about to kill her for a hefty price, and would have if he hadn't been interrupted. 
"Thank you. You two stay safe and I'll see you again, ___." 
"Goodnight, M-Mr. Chang!" You wave to him as he slowly makes his way around the corner. Then you turn to Jungkook and smile. 
Jungkook briefly wonders if your cheeks ever get sore from smiling all the time. 
"I l-live this way." You raise an arm to the right, the bag hanging from it dangles. Jungkook nods, then he starts to walk. You need to jog to catch up to him, his long legs take huge strides as he hurries down the street. 
The walk is silent, you sensing that Jungkook isn't really in the mood to talk. But it takes a lot of willpower for you not to start asking him different questions to get to know him more. 
When you've finally reached the stairs that lead up to your apartment, you huff in a breath. 
"Hoo, I'm so t-tired." You laugh. 
Jungkook looks at you, his face unchanging. 
You hold up a bag, "Would y-you mind carrying th-this up for me? I'm sorry, it's gotten so h-heavy during the walk. And I n-never walk that f-fast."
Jungkook takes the bag with a sigh, then he turns and hurries up the stairs, leaving you to huff and puff up them slowly behind him.  
When you reach your door, Jungkook sets the bag down on the ground and turns to leave, "Have a good night." He mumbles. 
"W-Wait!"
He turns back to you, biting back another sigh. 
"Th-Thank you...for today." You say softly, a hint of a smile on your lips. 
"No problem." He says quickly before hurrying down the stairs and disappearing around a corner. 
You unlock your door and bring in the bags, lugging them to the kitchen to start unpacking them. As you put the stuff you bought where it belongs in the kitchen, you think back on your day. 
It's so crazy that when you were so lonely without Mina, you were able to talk to someone new! A spark of hope comes alive in your chest that maybe you've just made a new friend. Hopefully, you'll see him again and you can learn more about him. 
You're so curious to know more about this dark and lonely stranger. _______________
Jungkook opens the door to his apartment, walking in slowly. 
He shuts the door and locks it, then he pulls off his shoes and drops them by the front door. After that, he walks over to his bed, pulls his pants and shirt off, then climbs into bed. 
Wrapped up in his covers, Jungkook stares straight ahead into the darkness. 
"How the hell am I going to do this?" He whispers numbly. 
His head is spinning with new plans and everything that's happened today, but he can't grasp a single one of those thoughts as they race by. 
Hours pass by as Jungkook tries desperately to get his head clear enough for him to focus. Eventually, he passes out from pure exhaustion, falling into a fitful sleep.
 The next morning, the sun slips through the blinds. The birds are just starting to sing their morning songs, their pretty little voices waking up the rest of the world. 
Jungkook shoots straight up in bed, "That's it!" He shouts, then he claps his hand over his mouth, remembering how thin the walls are in this apartment complex. 
A smirk spreads across his face as he takes his hand down, "Ah, thank goodness." Jungkook almost laughs out loud in relief at finding another solution.
He jumps out of bed and runs to the shower. It ends up being the shortest shower he's ever taken, he doesn't have any time to waste.
When he gets out, Jungkook grabs a bottle of chocolate milk and a banana before hurrying to get dressed and out the door. _______________
Jungkook arrives at the school before you, so he gets a paper and sits on the bench, as usual, waiting for you to appear. 
It only takes ten minutes of waiting until he spots you across the street. Jungkook smiles to himself and waits patiently. Sure enough, you glance across the street and see him looking at you. 
You feel a warm spark in your chest when you see your new friend sitting on the bench across the street from the school. You wave happily, delighted when he smiles and waves back. Then, he stands up and jogs across the street until he's standing right in front of you. 
"Good morning, ____." 
"Hi, J-Jungkook!" The smile on his face makes your cheeks warm as you look down at your feet. 
Then you look back at him, "H-Hey, would you l-like to hang out t-today?" You ask suddenly, but hopefully, afraid he might turn you down instantly. 
Instead, Jungkook's smile grows and he nods, "Sure. I'll meet you out here when you're off work." 
"O-Ok." You grin at him, not expecting him to agree so fast. Then you look at the time, "I have t-to go. I'll see you l-later." 
He waves as you turn and hurry into the school. 
Jungkook can't stop the smirk from coming as he watches you disappear into the doors of the school. If you insist on talking to him and making him your friend, then he'll just have to go along with it. _______________
"Alright, m-my little ducklings! Time t-to pack up!" You clap your hands to get their attention. They all listen immediately, moving to get their bags put together and ready for home. 
A few minutes later, the school bell rings, signaling the end of the day. 
The kids squeal with happiness and you feel your own rush of excitement, remembering that you have a new friend to spend the rest of your day with. The kids get into line quickly and you give them each a punch in their reward cards as they file out the door. 
The second you step out of the school, leading the line of little ducklings behind you, you glance across the street, but you don't see Jungkook sitting there. 
You try not to think too much about it and focus on getting the kids into the correct lines for the busses. 
You wave to Joon Woo as he climbs into his father's car. He and his dad wave to you and smile before driving away. 
Then you look across the street again, but there still isn't any sign of Jungkook. 
You bite your lip before turning and walking into the school.
Gathering your things, you think about all the things you and Jungkook might be able to do to pass the time. You're so consumed in your thoughts that you don't notice the knock on your door. The second time the person knocks, louder this time, you hear it. 
"C-Come in!" You call out, sorting the last bits of the worksheets that the kids did today. The door opens and Mr. Baek from class A walks in. 
You look up and smile at him, "Good afternoon, Mr. B-Baek. How can I h-help you?"
He glares down his long nose at you, "Did you give any thought to what I said last week?"
"Um..."
What did he say last week...?
Oh...
"Oh, uhm. Mr. Baek, I still d-don't understand."
"What do you not understand about it?" He snaps. 
You flinch, then set down the stack of papers and stand up while grabbing your bag. "I th-thought maybe you'd had a b-bad day-"
Mr. Baek scoffs loudly, cutting you off. 
"You aren't that dense, sweetheart."
The way he says that makes your stomach turn, "Ok, I'm s-sorry that you're upset. I h-have s-somewhere to be. If y-you'll excuse me." 
You move around him and hurry out of the room before he can say anything else. You really aren't sure what's gotten into him, but you're going to avoid him until he's over it. 
When you walk down the steps to the school, you look around, but Jungkook isn't anywhere to be seen. You try not to let it get to you, this has happened before. 
The only person who has ever followed through on plans with you is Mina. 
You blink a few times, then you start making your way home. 
"Going home so soon?" 
You turn to see Jungkook standing behind you.
A smile spreads on your face at the sight of him. "I thought y-you'd left." You say slowly. 
He shakes his head and steps closer to you, " I always keep my promises."
You feel your chest lift at his words, finally someone that isn't going to leave you hanging. Then you readjust the bag on your shoulder, "W-What would you like t-to do?"
Jungkook frowns when he notices something off about you. He knows it's none of his business and he doesn't really care, but he's curious. 
"Did something happen?" He asks, taking you by surprise, "You look kind of upset."
At that, you smile bigger, "N-Nothing happened! I'm f-fine." 
"Ok." Jungkook doesn't buy it, but he doesn't push you any further. He doesn't care enough to. 
"So, w-what did you w-want to do?" You ask again, relieved he doesn't continue to ask you what's wrong. 
"You pick." Jungkook gives you a small smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. 
You decide to ignore that and clap your hands together, "W-Well, I'm hungry! How about we g-get some food?" 
Jungkook nods, "Food sounds great, do you know any good places?"
You laugh and try to send him a wink, though it's the worst wink he's ever seen. "Oh boy, I know e-exactly what we c-can eat."
Jungkook gestures forward, "Lead the way."
The two of you talk about the weather as you stroll through the city, making your way to one of your favorite food carts. You don't have much to talk about besides that. You're trying to come up with some questions to ask him once you've got your food. 
Once you arrive at the steamed bun cart, you break into a little run. Jungkook watches you skip over and jump in place once you're in line. 
She acts like a kid. 
He shakes his head but hurries over to you anyway. 
You tell him all your favorite kinds and he suggests you get them because they sound good to him too. When you take your card out to pay, Jungkook beats you to it. He hands the man some cash before you can even blink. 
"Oh, y-you don't have to do th-that."
"I know." He says simply, thanking the man once he hands him the bag of buns and his change.
You two walk to the park that he had followed you to the other day and find a spot on the green grass. You plop down and pat the spot next to you, indicating that he should sit as well. Jungkook sits down and hands you the bag. 
"Th-Thank you for b-buying it." You whisper shyly. 
Jungkook shrugs, "No problem. Which one should we try first?"
"Um, the pork ones a-are really g-good." You say, taking out the two pork buns. You hand one to him and he immediately takes a big bite, making you chuckle a little. 
"Mm, you're right. It's delicious." Jungkook says around a mouthful of food. 
You nod, glad that he likes it. Then you start to eat yours, thinking about which question you should ask him first. 
"So, how long have you been a teacher?" Jungkook asks you suddenly. 
You swallow the bite you were chewing, "I j-just started at the b-beginning of the school year in A-August. I graduated from c-college last year." 
Jungkook nods knowingly, "That's good. So, you must be around twenty-two?"
You nod, "I am t-twenty-two, yes. How o-old are you?"
"I turned twenty-three in September," Jungkook says before taking another bite. 
"Oh, n-nice. And what d-do you do f-for work?" You ask politely. 
Jungkook swallows the bite that feels like it's stuck in his throat at your question. "I work for a small business. I just take care of client's needs and stuff." 
You smile, "That's a g-good job."
He nods, finishing off his last bite. 
"It pays the bills."
Why is he suddenly uncomfortable? There's something about you that makes him nervous, but he can't tell what it is. 
No, this is on his terms. This is all part of the plan, he just needs to play along. He needs you to trust him.
Jungkook glances over at you as you stuff more food into your mouth.
This is gonna be easier than I thought. 
______________________________
a/n: thank you so much for all the support so far! I hope y’all liked this one
393 notes · View notes
q--uee--n · 3 years
Text
Okay. Okay.
Because of the, in my opinion, frankly overblown Portwell drama in this fandom, I just wanna get a few things off my chest. I don't know who needs to hear this, and some people in this fandom might not want to, but a two-year age gap between teens is perfectly normal, and not perfectly normal in the sense that something icky or nasty has been normalized in this society, but it is literally perfectly okay. I'm convinced some people have never been in a public high school, and if they have they've either forgotten a lot or never paid attention. There's been discourse over EJ calling characters like Carlos a "kid" or telling Ashlyn (only a year younger than him) how young she looks and then proceeding to pursue Gina, but. The fact that these statements were taken on face value? The Ashlyn thing was being played for laughs, because EJ is an overdramatic teenage boy being angsty about a period in his life that's about to come to an end, something he's clearly not quite ready for. Again, the whole thing is played. for. laughs. And again, taking everything at face value is just - not a great form of media analysis.
EJ's age is ambiguous (we can assume he's 17-18, just like Gina is 15-16. In any case, that's a two-year age gap), but I wanna touch on that arbitrary number, 18. 18 is literally the number the government says, "Welp. You can sign a contract and cross state lines. Also, if a grown-ass 25+ person wants to date you? That's not on us." At 18, in the simplest, most trivialized terms barring individual examples, a person is just someone who stopped being a minor, stopped being 17. That super normally says nothing about their maturity, and they are not suddenly wiser and more adult than their peers. 18 is a child. 18 is a child, one who can sign a contract and vote, but one who still, legally, can't purchase alcohol, can't rent a car, and, in some states, can't even rent a hotel room (ironically, in others you can be as young as 16). 18-year-olds are not the grown adults media likes to portray them as. They just aren't.
I'm aware some eighteen-year-olds are predatory and intentionally seek out younger partners, and a separate discussion can be had about that, but it does not apply here. A two-year age gap is not the nasty, unnatural phenomenon social media discourse has started to wire people's brains to believe. I beg of y'all to go outside and talk to real people. This isn't at all to say everyone does this, but forming and basing your opinions off of what you see on the social media echo chamber instead of researching and forming your own thoughts is more harmful than not. It's always appreciable and wonderful to be aware, but not at the expense of throwing around serious words and terminology to make a point. That only serves to disrespect people and situations in real life that are actually harrowing. Stop it. Please.
TL; DR: Stop calling EJ a "freak" and "grown" (because neither of those things are true whatsoever), stop taking everything you watch and read at face value and drawing conclusions from there, and stop repeating things just because everyone else is saying them. This is all I have to say as it concerns this ship ( which I really don't like) and this show in general for now, because how it's been playing out has been disappointing so far for me. You don't have to agree with everything I said, but I just had to get that off my chest.
168 notes · View notes
lvlyhao · 3 years
Text
『you’re dating him but he’s not your bias』
reaction fic; NCT Dream
A/N: this is nct dream’s reaction to realizing your bias is not him (and you’re a couple). gender neutral, got way too deep at some points and was NOT meant to be this long. enjoy.
note that english is my second language and i speak mixing slang, accents and spellings from 3283928 places so i did notice there’s practice written with both s and c down there so
just dont mind it pls
also, today’s photo theme is dream looking cute in low quality shots.
𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮𝓼: fluff (♡), angst (❆), comedy (☼), crack (⍢).
𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼: lots of swearing, my tough love for the neos, one mention of cheating that doesn’t actually happen, a couple of mentions of alcohol and drinking, some violence hidden in metaphors, me being chaotic, it got a bit more angsty and darker than i intended, but we do have all happy endings.
word count: 6.8K
pairing: nct dream members x reader ( includes mark, renjun, jeno, haechan, jaemin, chenle, jisung)
disclaimer: the characters in the story below do not reflect real people or present real facts. this is purely fictional, and you may not copy, change, translate or repost my work in any way. all rights reserved © cherry-hyejin 2021.
*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
Mark
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oh, poor baby
i feel like he would be a little heartbroken 
just a little
not so much if it’s someone from dream, because they’re his little brothers, but if it’s one of his hyungs from 127 or wayv,,,,,
boy might cry
he’s not super dramatic about it or anything but i don’t see him as being super confident about himself
so he might think like
“do they think he’s cooler than me?”
and it’s silly, yes, he knows
but it’s just something that pops up in his mind sometimes when you bring him up
so for the sake of this fanfic let’s pretend you’re johnny biased
because gods know i am
at least when it comes to 127
mark would be divided into fanboying with you and being like “YO, HE’S THE COOLEST GUY ON EARTH OH MY GOD I’M SO GLAD YOU AGREE”
and
“a h”
<gives you a little tiny smile to cover up the sound of his heart breaking>
would constantly try to get closer to you when johnny is around, and just
showing off in little (kinda dumb) ways
complimenting you
being even more whipped than usual
like yes he’ll give you all of his watermelon slices just please don’t look at johnny like that again
i think johnny would kind of play into it with the whole “imma steal your s/o” thing
and he doesn’t do it to make mark jealous or hurt
we know he’d rather get hit by a train than ever actually upsetting his son on purpose
but we also know he’s johnny
cue “OH DUDE HE’S FLIRTING”
so yeah he might call you lil pet names (beautiful, cutie, you get it)
just to see you giggle 
(and see your soul leave your body)
might say he’s taking you out for dinner when he’s just driving you to get more ice cream for a movie night with the gang lol
and winks
expect a lot of winks
anywhere and anytime
which makes mark sometimes feel like he’s intruding???
and that you appreciate johnny more than him???
he genuinely doesn’t understand how you can date him and still not have him as your bias
don’t you like, love him above everyone else or smth lol
his “showing off” phase eventually fades tho
now every time you hang you with the boys and johnny is around, he’ll be a bit more distant 
he thinks he’s giving you space to interact with his friends but he’s just shying away from competing with one of his favourite people ever
and it’s a competition that Does Not Exist™
but he’s not 100% aware of that
and you’re not that dense 
so ofc you notice
and you wait till you two are alone to talk to him, and he BEGRUDGINGLY admits that you being johnny biased makes him feel kinda small and unimportant
he’d never try to make you change your bias or anything
he just needs reminders that he’s your #1 boy sometimes
which is fine by you
and by him
cus now it’s you calling him pet names all the time
and hugging him
and kissing his cheek
and praising his work
and blowing kisses from across the room
and just telling him straight up that no matter what, you’ll always go to him
(not that you ever had any chance with johnny lmao)
THIS GOES TO SHOW COMMUNICATING IS KEY, CHILDREN
COMMUNICATE
Renjun
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wym donghyuck is your bias lol
literally are you fucking kidding him
don’t get me wrong ok
everyone knows renjun loves haechan
they’re bffs and could not live without each other
but at the same time,,,
what is wrong with you
who did he choose as his s/o gods help him
if it was jeno, or mark, or jaehyun, or winwin, or kun, or lucas, or yuta, or taeyong, or ten, or,,,,
literally ANY of his other members
he’d understand your point and be like “ok fine”
but haechan???? hmmm bestie no
he’s not gonna throw a fit
not after the first time you told him anyways
HE WAS SURPRISED OKAY
and he just whined very loudly after having laughed for 5 minutes thinking it was a joke
<flashbacks of that one time he had to sing the ottoke song with haechan on weekly idol>
if you don’t know that iconic scene, renjun had a whole ass meltdown in 3 seconds while yelling “aAAAAAH JINJJAAAAA” and getting ready to punch the living shit out of hyuck
for no reason other than the fact that it’s haechan we’re talking about and injun’s little body is filled with rage
BACK ON TRACK
would probably try to act all cool about it and be like “i don’t mind” but bruh does he mind
and it doesn’t help that haechan is such a little shit about it
he doesn’t even flirt with you
he just
constantly reminds renjun that he’s your bias—not him—and then constantly praises himself over you
“ah, y/n~ did you choose me as your bias because i’m the best vocalist? or was it because i’m the best dancer? mAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF MY OH SO BROAD SHOULDERS—”
(pause for injun to punch him)
(unpaused)
and ok in the beginning it was funny seeing him all worked up but now it’s just annoying to be in the same room as these two
haechan won’t let either of you live
and renjun just wants to
fight
so it eventually gets to the point where you’ll talk to renjun and jeno will talk to hyuck cus even the other dreamies are tired of it
except maybe for chenle, he always laughs his ass off when they start bickering
ANYWAY
your conversation goes something like “oh my god renjun i’m literally dating you, i don’t like haechan better or anything you little pile of fury”
while jeno sits hyuck down in front of him and jaemin and just
“bro why are you like this”
“bro”
no but renjun would apologize for going overboard with his protectiveness and jealous energy because he’s not generally like that
he’s angry all the time but never about something involving you, you know
he tries his best to treat you like the royalty you are
but something about hyuck being your bias makes him feel a bit like a castaway???
he’s very creative and as an artsy kid myself i know we’re very prone to feeling left out because we’re just different from the others
so he’d think maybe haechan really has a better voice
or better dancing skills
or he looks better
he is taller than injun after all, and has broader shoulders, and his hair is all fluffy and—
the whole thing just made him insecure about things he had settled with himself long ago
he was fine with being him
but not so much when it came to that
i don’t think you two would fight over it cus tbh i think renjun would really only get with someone who can be very understanding of him
and i think hyuck would actually apologize to renjun too
not when everyone’s around but like, maybe after dinner or something and he just needs to feel like they’re besties again
hyuck never meant for things to get out of control
he just really likes both injun and you as his friends, and aside from skinship his most prominent love language is,,,
teasing
he was really just trying (very poorly) to grow closer to the person his best friend loves so much—you—because renjun is SUCH a big part of his life it would just feel wrong to not be good friends with you as well
don’t tell them i said this but they hug it out
injun strikes me as someone that could take a bit of time to bounce back from something that hurt his pride or his sense of belonging
and his way of healing and bonding is just,,,
art
sure, keep being haechan biased, but also please read with him
and talk about his fantastic animal creations
and watch those buzzfeed unsolved alien theory videos because he really wants to discuss it and maybe even draw what he thinks the aliens look like
hyuck tones it down, you make sure renjun knows you like him for him, renjun starts to (secretly) appreciate hyuck’s talent along with you...
and now let’s take a moment to imagine the minute you watch their latest mv with injun by your side
and yes okay the first thing you see is CLEARLY how good renjun looks because holy fucking shit he’s an angel (and i’m clearly not renjun biased)
but then,,,,,,
wAS THAT A HAECHAN HIGH NOTE
(there’s always a haechan high note, just look for it)
and ok maybe he did scream a bit with you because of how good it all sounded
and you know what, it works out perfectly bc you two are my new otp and you were meant for each other
but we do have to mention the eventual happening of chenle saying like “oOoOoOoH y/N wErE yOu dRoOliNg oVeR hAeChAn AgAiN” after a special stage
and then you, injun and hyuck all attempt to choke him
i’m kidding
or not
Jeno
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ah, lee jeno
aka samoyed boi
yes i do call him that no i will not stop
everyone is always writing jeno as being super protective and literally about to burst a lung if someone else ever does as much as look at you
but i just 
don’t see him that way
he’s a taurus and from what i know about taurus they can be v v jealous, yes, but they mainly seek comfort
so he’s fine with you biasing jaemin
as long as you’re not ditching him or anything lol
and ok, imma be 100% honest here even if it sounds like literal no fun (jenojaem wink wonk)
jaemin doesn’t flirt with you
not any more than he flirts with
every other breathing creature
ever
he’s really only platonically interested in you, never remotely romantic or anything lol
on the other side, he is in love with jeno
basically, if jaemin is your bias, jeno is his
so nothing really changes
we know how nomin are, okay
they hold hands, they stare deeply into each other eyes, they nearly kiss at least once every time they go live
it's just them
you gotta respect it bruh
i know this is the most boring reaction ever so let’s create the one (1) instance where jeno would actually dislike that you bias someone else
i think he would feel a bit hurt if you seemed to be more supportive of jaemin’s work than his
and it’s not something big or on purpose
it’s just something like going with him to a recording session but not going with jeno because you have homework
or after a very busy practise day going to praise jaemin first
even if it’s just three words
“you did good”
and then you’re going towards him, he’s gonna feel like maybe he doesn’t deserve your praise as much as nana????
i actually feel like, among the dreamies, jeno is the least confident one when it comes to his performance
he knows he’s not an awful rapper or anything but i think it can be a bit too much, being around such bright and huge presences like the others while his nickname literally means “no fun”
his members are just so loud and full of energy most of the time
and sometimes he just really needs to be quiet and observe in silence 
(yes i do know he’s chaotic and a crackhead, i’m just saying as we know he can be a bit introspective)
so what if you just
stopped seeing him?
did he become invisible to you?
did you finally fall for jaemin’s beautiful smile and stupid pick-up lines?
he’s not gonna let it show that he’s affected, though
earth signs are nearly always the ones to “stay strong” because we have this image that people are relying on us???
so we do what we do
bottle everything up and overwork ourselves bc we only got two modes
1. chill, super balanced and down to earth (ay for the pun)
2. please make us take a break we’re literally about to cry if we work for one more minute but we can’t allow ourselves to fucking take it easy
so yes you’ve guessed correctly, we’re going with 2
jeno is going to go so, SO hard on everything he does 
literally every single activity you can think of from dance practice to photoshoots to cooking for the dreamies
he stays up later than usual to get that one tricky move in the choreo just right
he works out more because he thinks he has to look absolutely perfect for when they shoot the mv
jisung asked for ramen? he’s making it but you bet your ass he’s spending over 40 minutes just chopping so
many
vegetables
AND STUFF THAT JISUNG WON’T EVEN EAT
but he’s doing it anyway for the reason being that it just has to be the Best™
and it’s not like he’s competing with anyone else to be diligent
this is just about being better than he was and showing himself—and maybe you—how painstakingly hardworking and driven he can be
maybe then you’re gonna acknowledge him as much as you acknowledge nana :((
:(((((
writing this is making me downright sad, jeno is so underrated and unaware of his power UGH
and i need to point out this is NOT about making you change your bias from jaemin to him, this is solely about having you recognize his efforts, even if you already do
if you just thought jeno was like going off in work because it was asked of him to, jaemin would DEF notice and talk to you about it
turns out it’s a habit of jeno to go extra hard sometimes and he needs someone to make him take a break
so it goes down like you breaking into the practice room when jeno and jisung were practising
the first reaction is confusion
the second is oh hey babe how are you
third is
a-are you dragging jeno and his bag out of the door while screeching at jisung to order pizza and doughnuts for everyone??
yes you are and i’m proud of you
so jeno is still confused and making those cute “hUh” noises he does omg i love him so much
and you’re just rambling about how much of an amazing artist he is, and you love his voice, and he’s a fantastic dancer, and his expressions and gestures are on point, and he takes such good care of the dreamies and
he’s perfect
and he knows jaemin must have talked to you, and he feels so vulnerable to have you know how on edge he’s been
baby boy just needs some rest
and that’s exactly what you give him, with a bath full of those fancy bath bombs and flower petals and candles at your house/apt
then a quick sheet mask while you massage his shoulders and keep saying how much you genuinely admire him
the mask might be ruined cus he started crying out of exhaustion
after that’s been done and you’ve hugged for at least like 5 min nonstop, you head over to the dorms, where hyuck was in charge of setting up a blanket fort while mork and nana gather board games, jisung gets the food and chenle
well chenle just had to make sure jisung doesn’t forget to order for someone and doesn’t break like 10 plates trying to set the table lol
this is way longer than the others so imma wrap it up
make it obvious and loud that you see and respect jeno’s hard work and he’ll be alright again
and maybe make those game nights a weekly thing when possible, it would make him very happy
he’ll never again feel sad when you praise jaemin cus now he’s sure he does enough, and above all, he is enough
Haechan
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haechan = full sun
why would you ever bias someone when you’re dating the goddamned sun
does not understand
but also does not care that much
actually, one out of two really depending on who your bias is
if it’s one of the members he has that tom/jerry relationship with, prepare for so
much
complaining
and clinging
AND HE’D BE SO LOUD OH MY FUCKING GOD
donghyuck please stop screaming about doyoung not deserving to be your baby’s bias, it’s 2 am
on the other hand, if it’s one of the (few) members he,,,
adores with all of his heart and is not afraid to show it
ex: sungchan, jaehyun, taeil and yang2x
then you can bet he’s going to be right beside you whenever you feel like throwing a fit because he’s just so handsome and talented
IF IT’S MARK OSHDISJD
i’m going to write you as being mark biased ok? ok
i honestly don’t know if he’d feel more jealous of mark or of you
he loves you both
a lot,,,,
and he really doesn’t like it when mark blushes when you compliment him
and he doesn’t like it when mark literally just walks past you and you trip over your feet because bro tf u doing, that’s some embarrassing shit
lowkey done with you two
but also PAY HIM SOME ATTENTION
or don’t, he’s fine either way (cue crossed arms and staring at you from across the room until you come give him a kiss)
“he’s pretty cute but i’m cuter right baby”
pouty pouty pouty if he ever feels neglected
will be so fucking annoying lmao i can’t write haechan, i love him but i do understand why renjun is always trying to beat him up
he’d be a show-off in a different way than mark because he can be so petty
will take every chance he gets to pull a one-liner
will sing everything he has to say just so you know he can hit those high notes
what do you mean dream doesn’t have a schedule today
oh man, he could swear they did
because that is the sole reason why he’s wearing his most expensive clothes and shoes + makeup to walk around the dorms, yes
no he doesn’t want to impress you
shut up
will text you like every single fancam he sees on twitter
every
single 
one
and are they mark’s?
lol no, they’re his
he is so genuinely trying to make you a member of his sunflower cult 
<whispers> “tell me i’m your bias” 
“donghyuck what the actual hell why are you standing at the end of my bed in the middle of the night like a fucking demon child”
he really wants to act all cool and composed but he wants to be your bias so fucking bad
he’s a bad bitch all around and just does whatever
cus haechan privilege
and he tends to not care about what people say and think???
bc he knows he’s lee donghyuck
he’s fully aware of the effect he has on people
but you
not biasing him
naw, he can’t take it
will do anything and everything he can to make you say, JUST ONE TIME, he’s your bias
then you can go back to loving (his) mark
so for your sake, for his sake, for mark’s sake
just give donghyuck what he wants
i can promise he’ll keep being an ass no matter what you do
like yeah did you just buy him coffee and his favourite cake? well that’s sweet but iS HE YOUR BIAS YET
“aw babe thanks so much for taking a bullet for me but now please say i’m your bias”
if you still don’t do it, it’s time to be extra petty
will actually drop you for mark
his logic is something like: he can’t be your bias? pity, so he’s just gonna date him instead
and mark is mark so he has no idea what’s going on
everyone in 127 and dream finds this absolutely hilarious cus suddenly donghyuck seems to be doing his best to win over mark’s heart and i mean more than usual???? and he’s treating you like his bro????
<you leaving the dorms to go to uni or smth so you go to hyuck for a goodbye kiss> “no can do, i’m committed”
“i’m your partner”
“no that’s mark”
it’s not 100% a joke when i say i can see him getting down in one knee to propose to mark while making eye contact with you to
assert his dominance
and mark is just
“dude
what HAHAHA”
and you are so done, i’m so sorry you have to go through that bby
i don’t think there’s another way to fix haechan other than just admitting he was your bias for an era, or a comeback or something
like yeah with the other dreamies before him it’s bonding + healing time bc i wrote it all kinda angsty (lol sorry) but with donghyuck
no
“will you stop this if i say you were my bias during reload era”
“mark wasn’t in dream that era tho”
“yes i know”
i say he’s gonna take what he can get and now things can finally go back to normal
with the exception that something else comes along with hyuck being satisfied with you biasing him
he just has a full pass to fanboy over mark now too
what am i talking about?
new 127 mv is out
you: watching it beside haechan and going off about how pretty mark looks
him: going off even harder bc he’s whipped too
this is what a happy couple looks like 
but now i pity mark because he has you two idiots fanboying over him irl
savemork2021
Jaemin
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nana is just such a chill and fun guy
i can’t see him being actually jealous or anything if he finds out you bias someone else
and so the two of you become insufferable together
bitch, i’m telling you
he (ur bias) is not gonna have one peaceful day ever again in his entire life
cus you know the thing jaemin does where he just looks at someone doing some random shit and goes “oOoOoH sExY”
yes that thing
he’s doing it to your bias 
and you’re doing it too
and your bias probably wants to run away to some very far away land
PLEASE IF IT’S JISUNG
i’m not gonna write this whole thing as if you bias him but let’s just imagine
two fully grown people
pilling on top of poor, poor park jisung playing games on his phone
“URI JISUNGIEEEEEE
MWOYA, MWOYAAAA~"
i genuinely think he would avoid being around you two at the same time
cus individually he can handle it
like yes y/n please let me go this hug has lasted for about 4 minutes now
or oh hi jaemin hyung my cheeks hurt when you pinch them that hard
but when you two are together
bruh
a power couple not bc you two are v confident or some shit but bc you can and will be extremely affectionate towards anyone that comes too close
and now let’s talk about how it would be if you biased jaehyun
jaemin loves jaehyun
they’re 2jae
2jae are soulmates
therefore,,,, it’s also kinda hellish but in a different way???
bc 2jae are on the end of that spectrum about the neos that know how in love the entire world is with them
they’re too powerful
they’re aware of their charm and they do everything they can to rub it in our faces
so the flirting between 2jae and you would be insane
and i mean insane
insane as in even johnny is kinda disgusted tbh bc
they’re doing a photo shoot with the 23 of them for some shit, idk don’t ask me
and of course, you had to tag along
but oh my god you three, please stop calling each other sexy/hot in weird voices now, the staff is staring
there are def rumours the 3 of you are a poly couple lmao
jaehyun denies everything on social media (throwback to saying “no way lol” when we asked if he REALLY slept in the same bed as jungwoo)
but every piece of content there is of you and jaemin or you and jaehyun or just them is so ridiculously flirty
you can bet there are compilations on youtube like 
“y/n being in love with 2jae for 8 minutes heterosexual”
ok i was having way too much fun with that, moving on
i don’t think he’d ever be actually upset about you biasing someone else
he trusts you and treasures you a lot so he doesn’t see the problem in you also appreciating another one of his members
bc gods know he does
he’s a bit in love with everyone so why shouldn’t you be too lol
one time he would feel a bit blue because of it???
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
i think it’s possible he’d turn pouty or whiny or just kinda needy (not in a bad way, he just misses you) when he’s like
done with people
and needs some time away from everything
we know he’s an introvert, even if he acts very, very loud around the boys and it’s honestly just a matter of time until an introvert grows tired of being around humans
it depends on each person, of course, but there’s a 99% chance every once in a while he’ll start to feel too drained
and he’ll need a break to get his energy back
jaemin would probably want you around even when he feels like that, though
i see you being such a big source of comfort for him in a relationship
he enjoys taking care of people so please take care of him too
and for just this one day don’t talk about your bias that much, or don’t leave nana to go over to him to chat
and just cuddle him a lot
that will make him a smiley baby again
and then things are back to how they normally are
and by that i mean most neos hiding from you because they’re scared 
i don’t have a lot to say aside from that so let’s think about the neos that would be the most intimidated by your shared thot aura
dotae would be confused in different ways lol
taeyong would be just ????????????blush/awkward smile/hahaha??????
and doyoung might actually ask what is wrong with you
<points to jeno and his s/o> “why can’t you be like them”
mark would laugh-scream and slap his knee into oblivion whenever you two are cornering him
but then go super shy and be like “dUDE DON’T DO THAT”
resident confident gay jungwoo would rejoice in the attention and make so many goddamned jokes
a literal comedian i love him
i think sicheng and renjun would be on the same wavelength of repugnance towards you lol
chenle would deadass call you weird and tell you to leave him alone
shotaro and kun might faint (or kun will panic-scold you)
taeil is as confused by affection as usual (have you seen the face he makes when haechan kisses him LMFAO he’s smiling but like wondering wtf happened on the inside)
ten is not very amused but might play into it
yangyang: that’s disgusting, man (cue flashbacks to that live with renjun after the from home stage where renjun pretended to lick his hand and slick his hair back,,, catboy injun,,, you know the one)
xiaojun and hendery are such panicked gays they just turn to stare at whoever else is around and make that “help” expression like they’re on the office
haechan is haechan, kinda doesn’t mind it
jeno is used to dealing with this at this point
lucas and yuta love the attention but while yuta will flirt right back lucas is just gonna smile and try to jop his way out of there while screaming
sungchan will go hide behind haechan and say “hyung they’re being dumbasses again”
this turned into ‘how would nct react to you and jaemin being super flirty together’ and i’m not sorry
Chenle
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chenle is so fun to write i love him lmao
okay so
he doesn’t strike me as the possessive type with anyone other than jisung (bc i swear he can be a bit jelly towards his bestie but i think it comes with sungie being the sweetest bean ever, he’s just protective)
he’s such a ray of sunshine and witty jokes and dolphin laughter i love him
back to the plot
he literally couldn’t care less about you biasing someone else
b u t
i will say there’s an exception
this exception is tall, kinda lanky, very awkward and born on the 5th of february
you’ve guessed it, it’s jisung
i think most of the time he’d tease THE SHIT out of you for it because c’mon
you had 22 chances not to mess up
and you still somehow ended up biasing jisung? lol do better next time
and this is not me and chenle hating on jisung, please—
he’d just find it funny that your bias is his best friend and
hold the fuck up
your bias is his best friend
oH NO NO NO NO NO
i think after realizing that he would lowkey try to keep you two apart because he’s somehow jealous of both????
and if he can’t help it then you can bet your ass he will be screaming all along
it’s his sweet, dummy jisung
with his sweeter and dummier y/n
what is he going to do
probably has a mini-breakdown with kun because like he’s always wanted you two to get along bUT NOT LIKE THAT
kun will just sigh like the tired father he is and pet his back while saying “there, there”
and a genius idea is going to come to chenle’s mind
you know the teasing thing?
well it’s upgrade time
he’s gonna turn into such a try-hard with tmi and embarrassing shit you two have done
and he’s not trying to stop you from being friends
he just wants you to like
know who you’re befriending
bc i think since he’s really really close to jisung, he doesn’t want you getting closer to him bc you like his idol side alone
and he doesn’t want jisung getting close to you just because you’re his partner either
if you had high hopes for each other and ended up kinda falling face-first into the ground bc it was nothing like you had imagined—
he’d be so broken
because he loves you so much :((((
so like, if you can get past the teasing and annoying barrier he’s putting up, he’ll be more than happy to have two of the most important people in his life being buddies
so get ready for it
if you’re the type of person to go batshit crazy when you drink, oh boy, oh boy
so you and the dreamies are just having dinner when lele feels like it’s the perfect time to disclose some of your drunken adventures
“hey y/n”
“yeah babe?”
“remember that time you got really really drunk on vodka and candy and wanted to call your mom”
“chenle the hell don’t talk ab—”
“but then you tried using the microwave as a phone”
“...”
“...”
“or that other time you were equally as drunk and watched the make a wish mv and cried because you noticed the height difference between xiaojun hyung and lucas hyung”
yeah so now’s the part you get up to chase him around the dorms and try to land a kick
BUT WORRY NOT, HE’LL MAKE SURE TO EMBARRASS JISUNG JUST AS MUCH
he likes doing that when it’s just the three of you though
so picture this
movie night the girls boys
chenle would 100% pick the most terrifying horror movie he can find so that he could see jisung clinging to whoever’s closest to him
and then right before a jumpscare, he’d whisper like
“jisung”
“w-what”
“why don’t you do that thing you were doing while you slept last night”
(honestly, i’d be mildly scared if i heard lele say this with no context at all)
and then the jumpscare happens and jisung is nearly fainting and crying at the same time
but chenle is laughing
and trying to get out what he wants to tell you between wheezes
“he-he” <dolphin wheeze> “hE WAS SINGING CHEER UP BY TWICE WHILE SLEEPING” <more wheezes>
and look this is just gonna go on for weeks until you and jisung are over it
and stop being weird and awkward around each other
lele needs you two to be bros ok
so be bros
once you do adapt to being pals with your bias i think chenle would take the teasing down a notch just to make you more comfortable
and like he’s so happy now the three of you can hang out and there’s just no tension
happy chenle is the thing i love the most i swear to gods
and if you don’t adapt to it?
well,,,
i honestly think he’d be pretty disappointed, cus it means to him one of you isn’t ready to fully embrace the weirdness within????
and like what u scared of
jisung is a weirdo, what about it, so are you
either that or he’d think you’re maybe being judgemental
so yeah please accept jisungie and your dumbass boyfriend
then everyone can be besties
i love thinking about the three of you as just this hellbound chaotic trio
because chenji already wreak havoc wherever they go as the two of them
but now that you’re coming along,,,,
no neo would escape from your pranks ever again (and even members of other groups lmfao watch out sehun, i’m talking to you)
and it’s so incredible infuriating in a good way that it just turns to be endearing
you’re cute as fuck so no one gets actually mad with the shit you pull????
which is dangerous, someone should really keep an eye out on the three of you 
we don’t need sm to be on fire
well we kinda do cus they’re pretty bad but not my point
i said somewhere above that chenle would tone the teasing down but i don’t mean he’d stop
bc c’mon guys
he’s chenle
no limits here
but sorry, i really cannot write jealous!chenle cus his heart is just too pure and filled with joy for him to be jealous for real
last scenario?
chenle after a comeback stage: ya y/n, i was gonna ask how was my performance today but you were probably more focused on jisung’s arms right
jisung is choking on water somewhere behind you
Jisung
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it’s maknae time <plays i.n’s maknae on top>
i don’t mean to picture jisung as being like
ridiculously innocent or just downright naive because i really dislike it when people do that
he’s a literal 19 yo and jaemin himself has said he’s not as innocent as we think lol
however
i do see him as being quite new to all things love 
i think you’d probably be his first partner and with first relationships comes a lot of other firsts
first kiss maybe, first time holding hands, first time being jealous….
first time being jealous, yes, focus on that
i don’t think jisung would be aware that like
you not biasing him is even a possibility
cuz you’re dating
doesn’t that come along????
ah poor baby i love him
if you biased chenle i think he’d be just
disgusted and weirded out but okay?? you do you i guess???
he’s comfortable enough with lele to not feel intimidated
but if it’s another member
ESPECIALLY one of the oldest ones
i think it would be a blow straight to his confidence 
you biasing ten, kun, taeil, taeyong, doyoung or johnny and maybe yuta would make him feel a bit hesitant and concerned
his first thought would probably be that you don’t like being with someone as young as him
and who knows, maybe you’re even younger than him, maybe you’re the same age, but what if you actually like older guys??
what about him then???
and jisung doesn’t mean to feel so worried and insecure, ok, pls understand where i’m coming from
first relationships normally take like a very long time to build trust and acceptance of the other person’s feelings bc it’s literally a whole new world for you
and that goes extra hard for jisung because he is so fucking whipped for you it’s still hard to believe you like him as much
and it absolutely does not cross his mind that you’d cheat on him with your bias, GODS NO
he really respects you and his hyungs 
so no, never
that’s not a thing that can happen
but you realize you’re too good for him and maybe see he doesn’t fit your ideal type?
well, yes, that’s what he’s thinking
probably goes straight to chenle or renjun (he talks about renjun so much asjahj) to vent and ask for advice
i think they’d be surprised to see what’s going on inside his pretty little head because it’s so obvious for everyone that you just adore jisung
and they do tell him that
however, i don’t think it would completely calm his nerves, and again, this has nothing to do with not trusting you
it’s just that
his hyungs are so cool…
HE CAN’T HELP IT OK
would probably try to mirror your bias (i’m saying it’s taeyong for the sake of what i’ve imagined ok) and like
grasp onto some of his qualities?
so in his mind taeyong is: nice, sweet, caring, amazing, perfect, smart, perfect, sexy, mature and did i mention perfect
i can see him trying some new rap styles that mimic tyong’s a bit???
like would lowkey learn his raps from cherry bomb and superm’s one and listen to recordings frequently to pick up on how taeyong does it
i think he’d also just change the way he acts in general to dodge a bit from his maknae image
so now he tries to speak with a more formal-ish language and learns random facts about things you like to seem more intelligent???
“good morning y/n, you look as beautiful as one of voiello’s paintings today :]”
“wait i thought that was a pasta brand”
he’s just trying to show you he can be mature and serious if you want him to
long story short, he’s not acting like himself (not that he’s childish, he’s just out of it) and you don’t like it, so you ask about it and wait for him to feel comfortable with sharing
when he does talk about it breaks your heart so much :((
you’re going to need some patience to try and show him you’d choose him, and not your bias, even if you had the chance
they’re completely different people and you love him BECAUSE he’s jisung, not for any other reason
please reassure him so he can go back to acting like his authentic self, i think it would be such a relief for him too
your words and affection are obviously enough for him, but if it ever happens that he feels especially low and insecure again, it would help if your bias talks to him too
and taeyong wouldn’t have a problem with it
actually, scratch that, taeyong probably knew what was going on all along
he just has that motherly 7th sense (ay) that is even more acute with the dreamies cus like 
127 has him, wayv has kun, but dream has…
the dreamies
and that, my friend, is terrifying
anyway he’d come to talk to jisung asking like “what’s wrong buddy :(“ and sungie would be a bit ashamed because it sounds so silly when you say it out loud
of course tyong wouldn’t judge him, and he just really has to tell jisung what is it you and he are always talking about
it’s him
“when they come around to talk and hang out here it all goes back to you, jisungie. they can’t spend one second without mentioning your name
it’s so cute; it’s always like ‘oh jisung would love this’ or ‘jisung likes it that way’
so please be kinder to yourself and let yourself see that they’re in love with you, not with me and not with any other member they ever mention”
jisung would feel 10000000% better
and smiley
and giggly
and oh my god do you really talk about him that much
LOOK HE’S BLUSHING
would just go over to your house immediately and hug you, burying his face on your neck from behind you
and not let go
ever again
the whole situation just teaches him a lot about accepting your love for him and not questioning it 
shut up i’m not crying
---
final notes: this was my first work after the humanity series and it was so fun lol i think next up is probs gonna be an ideal type scenario for ot23 (but if i really write it i’m gonna post it by subunit and its gonna be way shorter than this, don’t expect 23K words at once lmao)
if you’ve enjoyed this fic please consider reading my humanity series, which is a zombie apocalypse au with kun <3
331 notes · View notes
amazingphilza · 3 years
Text
study buddies :: cc!multiple x reader
fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some headcanons if the mcyts were trying to help you do hw :D
cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade
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tommyinnit
i feel like he’s the type to be in a long discord call with you whilst you both try to finish your work
mans uses the screensharing feature like there’s no tomorrow
“y/n watch my stream on discord and help me guess the answers”
“tommy no! i haven’t even taken a film class before”
“your guess is good as mine”
“just cheat and google the answers!!!”
“fuck you”
he actually just wants your attention because he’s bored out of his mind doing homework
five minutes later of asking you to help him guess questions he’s like
“hey y/n”
“what now?”
“let’s play bedwars”
“oh my god shut up!!!”
if tommy has to speedrun something before a deadline, it is a whole different story tho; he will be so focused on completing that he won’t hear what you’re saying
if you’re struggling in math, you’re on your own
“math is shit, only numbers i need is my primes and youtube analytics” says tommy any time you complain about math
besides the fact he isn’t good at solving math problems, you can’t even read his handwriting if he did try showing you how to do a problem
“okay, y/n, it’s simple, just look” he says in his kareninnit voice and everything
you’d be like “is the variable a G or a 9??”
“fuck you that’s a 4!!!”
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tubbo
i don’t know if tubbo ever talked about school before but something about him makes me think he’s actually pretty good at math
like he can explain a few things when it comes to math / algebra
CODING GO BRRRR
no geometry or calculus though, anything past algebra will go bad
if tubbo is doing homework with you, he will definitely tune you out
“hey tubbo can you help me on this question?”
you don’t get a response until like 20 minutes later
“oh yeah, what was it y/n?”
like now you answer? i just got the answer myself after so long, forget you smh
“oh nothing tubbo, nevermind!”
but you’re still grumbling in your head because if he answered just a bit earlier you wouldn’t have gone through the work of finding the answer online
i can also imagine if you’re taking chemistry tubbo is like ;
“oh you’re taking chemistry? let’s make some bombs!” /lh
tubbo would definitely pull an all-nighter with you to finish your projects together
if you had a group project, he would make you do the writing part while he does the drawing part
“we definitely aced this project”
“of course we did, if i made you draw we would’ve ended up with stick figure diagrams”
“TUBBO. THE FUCK?”
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ranboo
okay i know ranboo said he isn’t a theatre or band kid (unless im wrong and forgetful) but i feel like he’d be somewhat educated in the topics nonetheless
half the time he’s great moral support, helping you stay motivated !
the other half is him making fun of you
“i cant believe you’re failing, that is so sad, can’t be me”
“it’s literally an honors class, ranboo! it’s supposed to be hard!!”
“taking an honors class willingly? also cant be me AHAHA”
i honestly can’t see ranboo going to school like i know he’s a minor and said he had zoom calls before and plays volleyball but like did i miss something? has he dropped out yet? like something about ranboo does not scream “student” /lh
besides that, i’m not sure what subject he would actually be good in,,, but something about nutrition/health sciences,, he knows a few things
don’t get me wrong, i don’t think he actually likes the subject but somehow remembers what he learned from the class
also gives me the type of energy of the type of person to take a first aid class to be a certified person to do cpr on someone just to kill time during his lunch breaks for a while or something
“i am a certified cpr person”
“my life in ranboo’s hands? oh god please no”
you two would probably joke about the ‘bad’ people in your classes or talk shit about your schools than actually doing anything homework related ngl AHAHAH
“you think your school is down bad? mine went back to campus full time after like 6 months into quarantine because they were running out of money”
“what the hell y/n? your school is a scam, drop out”
“arghhhh i knowww”
“i bet i make more money than your teachers combined AHAHAH”
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wilbur soot
he doesn’t seem like the best person to ask for help for homework but can info dump you on very specific historical events + a bit of geography
i kinda see him as the person you can ask to proof read an essay for you and would help it improve immensely
who needs a thesaurus when you have vocabulary boy wilbur?
i dunno if it’s an american thing only or at all, but if/when you get to studying hamilton in your english class, he will get so fucking excited
“no wilbur it isn’t fun! imagine listening to lin-manuel miranda rap ‘alexander hamilton’ at the white house from like 2009 on repeat for over an hour whilst trying to write an analysis about it!! it was so distracting”
“well clearly someone has a personal problem with mr lin-manuel. if i were you, i’d be singing the whole thing”
is this last bit personal and complete spite from my freshman year english class? yes. i do not care? no. /hj
unrelated but i actually scribbled nice guy ballad lyrics and other songs on my english scratch papers in freshman year but anyway
probably isn’t the best person to be in a call to do homework with but wilbur doesn’t mind you ringing him occasionally sometimes
i dunno i can just see him easily get bored of the silence or something but also doesn’t want to bother you too much
but he is genuinely proud of you whenever you tell him you aced a big test you were studying for :D
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philza
this man’s bad advice is as bad as him trying to help you on any subject
he’s an old man so /hj
but like honestly, he hasn’t been at school for so long, phil can probably only help with the most basic things when it comes to school
if you have a wack teacher that makes you collect data through surveying people, phil would be one of the best people to ask! straightforward and won’t take too much of your time compared to other people ahem,,
statistics things ! sobs
if you ever complain a lot about your classes and contemplating dropping out and stuff, he will def scold you hard
“ugh phillllllllll can i just like,, never go to school again?”
“do not drop out”
“argh fine, i won’t just ‘cause philza minecraft said so”
honestly if you get a high score in a big test like your sats/gcse’s (whatever you’re taking from wherever you are) he’d probably order you a small meal or something to celebrate :D
like how phil bought ranboo bought him food to his house, it would start as a joke but when you get your test scores back he’s like “YOOO GOOD JOB Y/N”
expect a left meat pizza coming to your house .
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technoblade
like wilbur, techno is also helpful when it comes to history!
def knows a decent bit of literature too
besides that i don’t really see him being that helpful
even if he was supposed to be an english major
he will just get mad at the school system for teaching you useless things
“being in school is good but why do you need to know how to know if something is a triangle or not? i can obviously see with my eyes that it’s a triangle”
“i dunno! ask the person that made up geometry”
“just look at a kaleidoscope and be over with it, it isn’t that hard”
“that isn’t how it works—”
“bruhhh”
if you’re looking for the person to call while doing homework, he is not the person /lh
it’s either like 0 or 100 with techno
he can just completely not say anything and ignore you or go on a full rant about whatever class or homework you have
if you have an essay you need written, it will take a lot of bribing but he might take the opportunity if you are rich
“techno i’ll paypal you $10 please help me”
“no. i can make 10 times that amount in 5 minutes if i just started streaming right now”
“techno i don’t have that kind of money! pleaseee”
“no. instead of complaining, you can use that time to actually start you work”
“you’re the worst”
then you speedrun the essay and get an A just to spite him
197 notes · View notes
vizowrites · 3 years
Text
“We” vs “Me”| or “Why BlitzStrike Works So Well For Me But Stolitz [as of episode 6].....Doesn’t”
Alright my Loves, so I said that I was going to talk in further detail about my feelings regarding Stolas and the multi-layered portrayal of his relationship with Blitz in the new episode, and today’s the day where that happens!!  First of all, though, before I really get into my feelings about things, I want to just make it ABUNDANTLY clear that I’m not trying to sway anyone from one side to the other, or trying to shame anyone for shipping two fictional characters.  I’m fully in the boat that you are completely entitled to ship whoever you want, but I also think it’s wise to at least be able to recognize the faults and flaws in a pairing--and especially to be able to recognize them in the context of an IRL relationship.  In this analysis in particular, I’m specifically focusing on these two relationships within the realm of the Helluva Boss universe [......Hell] and within the specific context of their characters as they’ve been portrayed in the show thus far.  And, my biggest disclaimer of all: I’m doing this for no other reason than I felt like putting my jumbled thoughts together into a cohesive post so that they don’t have to stay bouncing and buzzing around in my head.  Please keep that in mind that this is just pure personal opinion and interpretation before anyone comes at me with torches and pitchforks.  <3 <3 
SO WITH THAT LONG ASS DISCLAIMER OUT OF THE WAY 
Let’s finally get to the good stuff.  And the not so good stuff.  :D
So I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone who follows me here that I’m a huge BlitzStrike fan.  What I think fewer people know is that when I first entered the fandom a few months ago, I actually was on board the Stolitz train like so many others that I’ve met here in the fandom.  Naturally Stolitz was the first major pairing I was introduced to, and I did find both the characters of Blitz and Stolas incredibly interesting and compelling in their own rights AND saw the potential in how they could really come to grow into one hell of a relationshp over time.  I was honestly really excited to see it happen, too.  
And then I watched Episode 5 [still my favorite episode, btw] for the first time and had this sudden question hit me like a truck that even now is still relentlessly burning in the back of my mind because I still haven’t found a legitimate answer for it: Why in the FUCK wasn’t Blitz falling head-over-heels in attraction to Striker throughout this fucking episode??
And I don’t mean that in a “They’re so hot and I ship them now why didn’t they get together?? DX DX” kind of way--I mean that in the genuinely perplexed “I don’t understand based on what has been presented to me thus far about Blitz as a character and the storyline overall why he’s reacting so nonchalantly to this whole thing”.  To Note: This is me wondering this from the context of what’s in the show itself, not from any extra fan materials like the Instas or Twitter or just straight up knowing that the most likely answer is that there are people on the creative team that ship Stolitz really hard and realistically wouldn’t have probably written Blitz as being attracted to Striker because that would just be--to quote Jack Sparrow--blowing holes in their own ship.  No, this is me disregarding ALL of that and trying to rationalize this with myself from the perspective of a fan whose entire knowledge of the show and its characters comes exclusively from what’s in the episodes themselves.  .....And that’s where I just can’t find my answer, except for the Stolitz positive “He’s not attracted to Striker because he’s in love with Stolas” answer.  Which really doesn’t even feel like a satisfying answer, because the entire vibe I’ve gotten from Stolitz in the show has just felt.....strangely.....off.  Like, the framework is there and the elements are there, but I’d felt as though they had so far to go still that it would be entire SEASONS before they got there.    
And THEN the new episode [Episode 6] came out and I’d heard a handful of fans going crazy because the show was finally addressing Stolitz in full, and I thought to myself, “Well, maybe if the show really is going to go with saying that the reason Blitz wasn’t interested in Striker is because he’s in love with Stolas.....sure.  I’m curious to see how they finally establish it in an episode, especially since there’s only two more episodes left in the entire first season.”  And then I watched the episode.  And then it hit me why Stolitz just does not do a damn thing for me but BlitzStrike does despite the fact that we’ve had 4/6 episodes [5/7 if you count the Pilot] of Stolitz but only 1/6 [1/7] of potential--not even canonical--BlitzStrike:
When Striker talks about Blitz, or interacts with Blitz, he always talks about them as a “we”.  As a team.  A partnership.  OR he just straight up puts the entire focus on Blitz and his accomplishments and keeps himself out of it entirely.
When Stolas talks about Blitz, he always talks about them within the context of “me”--of himself--of what Blitz does or should do for him.  Even here in episode 6, in the most “selfless” instance we’ve seen yet, where he does ask about Blitz’s safety first BEFORE going right back into how Blitz’s actions affect him and what Blitz should be doing in response for him.  Stolas’s focus is always automatically set to himself--and even when it comes to the people he supposedly loves the most.  
To explain what I mean here, let me give some examples directly from the show itself, starting with the Stolas side of things: 
Episode 1
Blitz, in the middle of trying to hide so much that he actually clamps both of his hands over his mouth just to muffle the sound of his own breathing, knowing damn well that this psychotic bitch who already shot him once won’t hesitate to do it again if she finds him.....gets a call from Stolas.  Stolas, who we clearly see from his leisurely hang out time in his bubble bath, is literally watching this happen and is fully aware that calling Blitz right then was potentially putting him in danger. But what does he say when he gets Blitz on the phone?  He offers--not help--but Blitz the use of his book in exchange for monthly sex.  Stolas literally uses Blitz’s peril as leverage here--consciously or not, though given the fact that he knows the situation at hand, I’d find it very hard to argue that he didn’t do this on purpose--just to get him to agree to be his bootycall until further notice.  
Stolas not only doesn’t lift a finger to help Blitz once in all of this--even at the moment where he and Millie are about to be shot in the face--but instead continues to stay on the phone talking about all of the things he wants for their upcoming future rendezvous.  He already got exactly what he wanted out of this and he still just continues to go for more for himself.
Episode 2
.....There are honestly so many fucked up things that happen here as far as Stolas and his relationship with Blitz goes but honestly the thing I want to draw the MOST attention to is actually Stolas’s storyline with his daughter, Octavia.  I know it’s a little left field, but bear with me--this is actually something I want to use as comparison for Stolas’s relationship to Blitz as we go along:
When Stolas first decides that he’s going to take his daughter to Loo Loo Land, he does so while completey setting aside the fact that she doesn’t want to go.  He just offers her assurances that it’s going to be so much fun because he remembers that she loved it so much when she was a little girl--effectively putting his memory above her wishes even as she’s sitting right there and telling him that she doesn’t enjoy the idea of going now.  
Stolas doesn’t actually notice just how uncomfortable he’s making Octavia throuhought their entire trip by spending his time sexually harassing paying more attention to Blitz than he is trying to cheer her up.  This tells me that Stolas--though I do believe he genuinely wanted to do something to make her happy--still wasn’t able to completely overcome his own self-centered tendencies at first even when it’s for her.  And this is the person that Stolas loves more than anyone or anything else in the entire world. It still wasn’t enough.
It’s only when Octavia runs off and completely breaks down that Stolas finally gets the much needed slap-to-the-face of reality to understand just what he’s putting his daughter through--and, for the first time in the entire show, he actually puts someone else’s needs and well being above himself.  It’s the one solid honest display of love that we see from Stolas in the entire show--and it’s how we as the audience come to learn that that’s how Stolas shows that he loves someone: When he puts their needs above his own with no strings attached or expectations of something in return.  A true selfless act just because he loves them.  **Keep in mind the parallel of Stolas carrying Octavia out of Loo Loo Land at the end, and how it compares to Stolas carrying Blitz out of D.H.O.R.K.S headquarters.
Episode 5
The. Fucking. Cigarette.  I had no idea that something so small and quick would be able to infuriate me as much as it did, but the fact that Blitz used the post sex cigarette to free Stolas from his wrist bondage but then Stolas turned around and put the cigarette out on Blitz’s horn which is literally a part of Blitz’s body just.....honestly it sums up exactly what I’m trying to get across in this entire huge ass post: Stolas only ever thinks of himself first and anything pertaining to anyone else just doesn’t cross his mind at all unless you blatantly put it there in front of his face.  And the fact that he’s still at this point with Blitz all the way here in Episode 5 is not.....promising for their relationship.
The fact that Stolas literally cannot stop himself from calling Blitz “Blitzy” or talking to him in such a condescending way no matter how frustrated Blitz gets and how many times he asks him to stop.  I just--how is that supposed to be interpreted as someone talking to a person that they love?  There’s no respect or dignity given to Blitz at all on Stolas’s part, and the fact that it seems to be presented as a “Oh teehee it’s just their cute couple thing” is just.....I really, really don’t like that.  It also doesn’t match with the Stolas in the very next episode which I quite frankly think is because the creators have been listening to the feedback from fans and were like “We need to SHOW THEM that Stolas actually does speak to Blitz respectfully!!” but that’s just my personal opinion there and, also, it still didn’t happen.  
Episode 6 
Keeping in mind that THIS is finally the episode where we see Stolas actually save Blitz from danger and demonstrate even the slightest inclination towards his well-being.....I think that honestly makes the next few things here even more fucked up
First and foremost: “WE”.  The second after Stolas asks if Blitz is alright and gets the assurance that he is, he roughly grabs his cheek and points out that “If you get in trouble, I get in trouble!  WE don’t want that”.  The fact that this is the first time that Stolas ever talks about Blitz in the context of “we”--when really what he’s really saying is that him [Stolas] getting in trouble is going to be a bad thing for all of them--is just.....so, so disappointing.  At least with this I could hope that perhaps the idea here is that Stolas is genuinely afraid that if he gets in trouble, he won’t be able to protect Blitz from the undoubtedly much worse trouble that he would be in as an imp, but still.  The fact that Stolas immediately reverts back to his self-centered perspective so quickly after supposedly being so worried about Blitz’s wellbeing, really makes it seem as though it’s just his own ass that he’s trying to protect.  And that.....isn’t  exactly what I’d been expecting from “the episode that confirms Stolitz is canon” feedback I’d been hearing.
"Am I going to get ANY thank you for the rescue Bltizy?”  This for me was kind of what actually lead to me having this whole epiphany over Stolas’s selfish perspective in the first place.  I realized that even here--even when he’s just been the most “romantic” towards Blitz that he’s ever been in any previous episodes up until now [and yes this shift in his character was incredibly jarring for me because of that]--Stolas still goes right back to thinking about what he’s going to get out of this now that he knows Blitz is safe.  Let’s take this back to that thing I was saying about Episode 2 and comparing how Stolas rescued Octavia and how he rescues Blitz.  Obviously they’re going to be different because it’s Stolas’s daughter vs his hook up BUT just think about where the focus is for Stolas in both of these scenes.  With Octavia, Stolas is entirely focused on making things up to her--taking her to do something she wants to do--even if it’s something that he himself doesn’t fully understand or isn’t fully into.  That doesn’t matter though, because the entire point is that he’s doing something just for her.  It doesn’t have to be about him.  But now go back to the scene where Stolas is carrying Blitz out of the room.  What does he do?  Ask what Blitz is going to do for him.  That just takes the idea that this scene was a confirmation of their love and throws it right out the window.  Stolas--as we’ve been shown before--would never ask for something in return from someone that he actually loves.  
Now let’s take a look at the one and only episode we have of Striker and Blitz interacting together, with an honorary shout out at hallucination!Striker’s appearance in Episode 6: 
Episode 5: 
Striker knows Blitz’s name.....and he uses it.  He’s literally the ONLY other character that we’ve seen so far refer to Blitz as “Blitz” instead of “Blitzo” or “Blitzy” by someone who wasn’t a member of I.M.P..  Aka someone who wasn’t a member of Blitz’s family.  He shows Blitz respect at that basest level, and only builds on that from there going forward.
Striker first recognizes Blitz for being “the bold imp that started his own killin’ biz”.  Not his hotness, not his skills in the Harvest Moon games because at that point he hasn’t seen them yet.....but for his accomplishment in starting up his own successful business down in Hell.  He treats it as an accomplishment.  With the kind of respect that comes with acknowledging another person for their accomplishments.  Right there, within two seconds of meeting him, Striker demonstrates more respect for Blitz than Stolas has yet to do in the entire show.
The Harvest Moon Festival Games.  Now this is something I find fascinating to think about from Striker’s perspective in particular.  We as the audience are shown pretty early on that Striker has a strong desire to be the one who comes out on top.  He likes the idea of being superior and he openly relishes in the praise and attention he gets for being better than everybody else.  ....Except Blitz.  When they tie in the games, Striker doesn’t seem bothered with sharing the spotlight with him at all.  If anything, he--again--respects just how skilled Blitz is in rightfully earning his place beside him on the stage.  That, to me, is HUGE.  I’m not going to go so far as to say that Striker necessarily sees them as equals because I think that might be going a bit too far for his ego but he does still fully acknowledge that Blitz is in the same general class as him: that is to say, better than most.  Worthy of the same kind of acknowledgement and praise that Striker gets.  I literally can’t get over just how big of a thing that is for what we’ve been shown of Striker’s character, and I think it’s unfortunately something that’s incredibly easy to miss or gloss over. :(
And now--for what I personally think is the most significant thing of all--we have: “We”.  How many times does Striker suggest during that final scene between them that he really wants Blitz to join forces with him as equals?  He never demands that Blitz join up with him, he doesn’t threaten him into joining up with him--Striker barely even hurts Blitz at all during their fight scene compared to how he tried to straight up murder Moxxie--and, most of all, Striker continues to acknowledge that Blitz deserves better than his current arrangement with Stolas.  And he’s right.  But instead of putting it as “I’M right and this is why you should do this”, he always puts his focus on Blitz himself, or the two of them together as a partnership:  “You are so above sucking on a a digusting rich pompous Goetia” | “We could be the most dangerous beings in Hell, Blitz” | “You could partner up with me and klll the unkillable--starting with the one that treats you like a plaything”.  It’s just--I honestly can’t believe it’s taken me this long to put together why Striker appeals so much more to me as a romantic interest for Blitz, but really breaking it down episode by episode and comparing the differences in wording between Striker and Stolas’s dialogue when it comes to Blitz is just.....holy shit. 
Honorary ShoutOut of Episode 6: 
The fact that the only thing hallucination Striker has to say to him is “But you don’t want to do things alone Blitzo!” is really, really interesting to me in the fact that he’s.....not......wrong??  Like, To be fair, Striker, RoboFizz, and Verosika all spill their harsh truths, but the thing is.....Striker’s is markedly different in that his wording really isn’t harsh or aggressive at all the way the other two are.  He’s just kinda stating a fact in an overexaggerated way because tripping balls hallucination sequence.  It’s very interesting to me that that’s the worst that Blitz can imagine him to say--as well as the fact that halluci!Striker calls him “Blitzo”, which is really weird considering that Striker’s never called him “Blitzo” once in the entire show.  Makes me kinda wonder where that came from tbh. 
Alright so, in conclusion of this very long and rambly styie post: I want to take things back to where I started by reiterating that this is not me trying to convince anyone that BlitzStrike is “right” and Stolitz is “wrong”, or that you should stop shipping what you’re shipping in the fandom.  This was just me honestly getting way more excited than I should’ve been over having my “Eureka!” moment for realizing why this new episode didn’t put me back on the Stolitz train like it did for so many other people--and why, in fact, it actually made me think even more favorably of the idea of Blitz and Striker being together.  
Thanks for sticking around with me for this very long read, I hope you found it interesting, and I really really hope that it didn’t piss anyone off or rub too many people the wrong way.  Like I said at the beginning, ship who you want to ship!!  That’s part of the fun of being in a fandom.  I’m just hoping that this might help make it easier to understand at least one perspective on why Stolitz is seen as being so problematic as a ship [as of where they are right now].  
Here’s to seeing where things go from here!! 
58 notes · View notes
wheeier · 3 years
Text
trust me
summary: steve coming out to you as bisexual :)
warnings: fluff !! nervous steve, maybe emotional reader bc that would be me
i got teary-eyes writing this but yeah anyways
bisexual!steve harrington x fem!reader
steve had been thinking about it for three months now. at first he didn't believe it – thinking it's not real and he's just insane, because all he know is boys like girls, and girls like boys. poor boy doesn't even know that the word bisexual actually exists. but after robin came out to him as lesbian almost a year ago, maybe the feeling he has was right this entire time. he isn't crazy as he think he is.
steve decided to talk to robin about the situation, since she knows better about this than anyone else.
"i just don't know why you won't tell her," robin says as she puts phoebe cates' standee in place, scrunching her face at her friend, who was visibly stressed out about the current situation. "(y/n) obviously loves you and will accept you no matter what. hell, she's like, head over heels for you. anyone can tell if they see you two together." she finishes as she walks near the boy.
steve lets out a huff, "i know she loves me, i do too. but i'm still scared." he says quietly, thinking anyone would hear, although they were about to close the store and no one was around except them two.
"that's fine. you know, i was so afraid to tell you about me, too. but you've gained my trust, dingus. and you're stuck with me for life." robin pats his shoulder as a way of her saying that his feeling is totally valid and also a way of her saying thank you.
trust. it's a big word for steve. he had trusted so many people in his life, but most of them betrayed and hurt him. he already lost the person he once truly loved and trust, nancy wheeler. it hurt him so much, like someone took his glass heart and dropped it, stomped on it, destroyed it in a thousand pieces.
he doesn't know if he can handle it if he loses you too.
"i'm just- what if she gets upset? what if she runs away?" steve turned his head to robin with a terrified face. "then it's her loss. you're an amazing person, steve. although you're a dumbass most of the time." steve lightly punched her shoulder, making her laugh.
"in all seriousness, just tell (y/n) what you feel when you're ready. i'm sure she won't do anything that would hurt you. i'm telling you she loves you more than anything you could ever think of."
a week after that conversation with robin, he was finally sure about what he is and what he likes.
the phone ringing from the living room caught your attention right after you put the pancakes on the plate. "it's just 7 in the morning, who the hell calls this early?" you muttered to yourself.
he immediately felt bad when he heard your frustrated 'hello' on the other line. "babe, hey. good morning, i'm sorry if i interrupted you or anything." you smiled upon hearing his voice. "hey, it's fine, don't worry about it. what made you call this early?" you asked as you sat on the floor. "i..i need to tell you something, but not here on the phone. i wanna tell it in person." you could tell that his voice was mixed with seriousness and anxiousness, which made you assume the worst.
"oh, okay. um.. are you gonna come here? i just made pancakes, i know you love those." you suggested, glancing back at the table as the smell of the pancake filled the house.
steve agreed and told you he would be there in a few minutes so you prepared breakfast for him and prepared some orange juice.
as expected, steve came ringing the doorbell and you fixed your hair a bit before opening the door. you half-expected him to look smiley and happy, but it was different. you stepped aside to let him in and shut the door.
"what is it that you wanted to tell me?" you said calmly, almost comforting that made steve melt. you brushed a strand of his hair away from his face and rest your hand on his cheek. "can we..sit?" he mutters quietly and you nodded.
you intertwined your fingers with his and dragged him to the kitchen where his favorite breakfast lays. he sat beside you, not saying any words. his heart was beating so fast and he's sure that you can practically hear it.
"everything okay?" you asked after putting the pancakes on your plate. you were starting to get nervous, thinking it's really that serious. "how..where do i even begin with this.. uh.." steve started mumbling to himself, you placed your hand on his forearm, letting him know that he can trust you.
steve let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. "you know you can tell me anything, right? whatever that is, you can trust me." he stared into your eyes, searching for any hint of lie – but there weren't any.
he slightly nodded before looking around but you. "i like you, i mean, of course i do, you're my girlfriend. jesus, uh.. you know i love you, right?"
"yeah," your voice was quiet, unable to speak clearly because of the loud beating of your heart, but at least he admitted that he actually loves you. "yeah. of course."
steve took a deep breath, having the courage to look at your eyes. "before i say it, if you get mad i totally get it, but i hope you won't be. i just, don't wanna lose y-"
"steve?"
"-yeah?"
"just get to the point, please. i promise i won't be mad." you gave him a reassuring smile, and he returened you one.
"promise?"
"promise."
there was a few seconds of silence before he speaks again. "..i like girls. and.." he started, and you made a confused face. "and..i'm pretty sure i'm attracted to..guys, too." his voice trails off but you were able to catch it. he started to panic when you didn't say anything.
he looks down on his palm, picking his nails like he used to when he's anxious. "robin said it's called bisexual, at first i didn't know what it means but now i'm sure that i am that. and i've been thinking about that in the last three months but i didn't know how to tell you, because.. i was scared that you will leave me," his voice almost broke and when he had the courage, he looked back into your eyes. "but just know that i love you so much and if you don't love me anym–" he was interrupted with your hug, slowly letting out a sob which made him worry.
"(y/n)?" he was relieved when you looked up with a smile, sniffing as you let go of him. "sorry, this should be your moment, i just got carried away." you slightly laughed as you wiped your tears. he didn't say anything, he just looked at you, waiting for an answer.
"steve harrington, what made you think that i would ever leave you?" you held his hands with yours, drawing circles using your thumb to help him relax.
"you're not-"
"mad? no, of course not." you shook your head in disagreement. "why would i be mad at you? in fact, i am so so proud of you," you rest your hands on either side of his cheeks, his eyes still wide. "i know it's hard for you to do this but you did it, you're brave, and.. that's one of the things why i love you too." the tears went back to your eyes, "and i am glad that you did this, it means so much to me because i know that you trust me."
you sniffed, then let out a shaky breath. "i have no reason to be mad at you, steve. there's literally no reason. nothing will change. i'm still (y/n), your girlfriend and you're still steve, the love of my life and the one i would marry someday." steve smiled at your words and was about to make a joke about it, but stopped himself because he doesn't wanna ruin the moment.
"you became true to yourself and accepted it. there's nothing wrong with that." at this point you didn't care about the tears in your eyes, because he was crying too.
when he didn't say anything you just wiped his warm tears and pulled him for a hug, which he returned this time. "i love you so much, steve. more than anything you could ever think of."
his mind recalls the time when he talked to robin — when she said the same exact thing, and she was right.
"me too. i love you."
you were the first one to pull away from the hug that seemed like hours. "hey, stop crying now because i'll cry even more. i'm an emotional mess, remember?" you both laughed at your comment as he wiped your tear-stained cheek. you were glad to hear his laugh again, that laugh that you always admired. "okay." he chuckles as he nods, wiping his own tears too.
he turned to the table, ready to eat the now-cold pancakes you made. you remembered he even said that it doesn't taste the same if it wasn't you who cooked it.
once you both finished eating breakfast and cleaned the table, you headed back to the living room, prepared the movie ferris bueller's day off and he sits beside you, lower than usual so that your chin reaches the top of his head. you notice him look up at you, so you tilted your head down to see. "what?" you grin.
steve quirked an eyebrow, remembering your words from earlier. "so you're gonna marry me someday, huh?" he teased, but he knows you were serious. "no, actually. that was just for show." you rolled your eyes jokingly while a smile was visibly showing on your lips. "of course, dummy. there's no other person in the world that i would want to marry but you." when he smiled, you planted a kiss on his forehead before continuing to watch the movie.
you wrap your arm around his shoulder as you brush his hair with your other hand and not even an hour yet, he was already sound asleep in your arms.
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elliehase-blog · 3 years
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It’s typical for me to set up a story or drabbles around my drawings, but I’m not always confident enough to share them with you due to my lack of knowledge in the English grammar.  This is a foreign language for me, therefore I still make a lot of mistakes and not noticing them.
For this redrawing of Crawly I wrote a little prelude for my story “Don’t Stop Me Now” on AO3. I have finished two new chapters already, but unfortunately my friend (who has corrected my stories in the past) is too busy with her work. If there’s anyone out there, who enjoys to proofread stories, please contact me! 
Prelude
It was lo-... something at first sight.
The angel of the Eastern Gate stood atop Eden’s outer wall, facing the deserted land with a concerned glance. His wavy fair hair reflected the setting sun, some soft rays gently embraced his contours. Gray clouds were piling over the garden. With his white robe and the dark atmosphere forming around him, he looked bright and shining like a star in the night sky.
He was the most fascinating thing Crawly had ever seen.
And Crawly had seen a lot of things in his immortal existence. In the old days he had been an angel himself, a builder of blazing stars and astonishing constellations. But none of his creations ever radiated in such a wonderful warm glow, giving him satisfaction and ease at once. There was something magical about the other man, which is why Crawly couldn't avert his gaze.
Strictly speaking, Crawly didn’t cross a line here. He wasn’t in close contact with the angel, staying at the apple tree most of the time, fulfilling his demonic duty. No one ever said he couldn’t sneak away occasionally and admire his new encounter from afar, though. Nothing wrong in it. At least until it became his favourite occupation of the day.
So the serpent observed the beautiful chubby angel quite a while. From a safe distance, of course. As a demon he had straight orders from Hell to cast some trouble in the Garden of Eden. It was highly inappropriate to reach out to the opposition by whatever means, he guessed, or even conveying interest in an angel in the first place. Probably it was forbidden as well. Something demons ought not to do.
He did anyway.
 Crawly watched the serene beauty and listened carefully to every word that emerged these rosy lips, straining to find out more about the angelic guard, trying to get the whole picture. Every piece of the puzzle dragged him closer each day. He liked the way the blond angel yielded his flaming sword when he was practicing some quite impressive combat moves. He liked the way how politely the other man was talking to God’s newest creations (especially the animals), just like he really cared. And he absolutely adored the way the angel’s name rolled off his tongue. Aziraphale... The demon whispered it a couple of times just to listen to the melodic sound.
After seven days Crawly came to the conclusion, that the angel of the Eastern Gate wasn't a threat or dangerous at all, only confirming his initial impression. In fact, there was something tragically lonesome about him. It was almost like looking into a mirror, finding someone as isolated as yourself. No other angel came to talk to him, even God never answered his prayers. That situation felt strangely familiar. Crawly wanted to get closer to the other man straightway, literally craved for a conversation with every fibre of his body. If there was the slightest chance, that the blond angel could truly understand how he feels, that they both are broken in some way, maybe they could feel wholesome again by being together.
They barely knew each other, but as they started talking, it felt like they had known each other for far longer than just a minute. Aziraphale treated him as equal, even though Crawly had revealed his black wings, openly showing his demonic nature. There was no loathing, no rolling eyes, no distrust in the angel’s voice. It was ... odd. Something, Crawly had never experienced before.
So Crawly had stood frozen in indecision for what seemed like forever, thinking of the right way to approach, the right words to say. A feeling of nervousness overwhelmed him. The first impression counted, after all.
And the foremost thing that popped into his mind was, “That one went down like a lead balloon.”
Well. Could have been worse, right?
From up close he could study the other man’s face even better. His far too cute button nose and his ridiculously bright blue eyes, just to name but a few. It completely captured the demon. The way Aziraphale smiled, chuckled in a warm tone as Crawly mentioned their possible misstep, finally tipped him over the edge. It seized his chest with something deeper than admiration.
When raindrops started to pour at the very first time on earth, the demon gazed insultingly upon the sky. It felt cold and wet and absolutely annoying on his skin. The snake-like part inside of him immediately wanted to curl away and hide somewhere safe and warm. The other part clearly wanted to stay right next to Aziraphale, cautiously coming closer. Without a second thought or expecting any kind of counter-performance, the blond man stretched his impressive white wing to shield Crawly.
And that was when the demon had fallen for the angel completely.
Crawly knew on the spur of the moment that he had met the kindest person in his godforsaken life. Cheesy but true. He remembered clearly what Heaven was like. Not as nice as everyone thought it would be, though. On the one hand, he was bored stiff all the time. No temptations or decent drinks, for instance. But worst of all were the conceited archangels and their stupid duties and expectations they placed on every low-ranking angel.
Curiosity and self-determination were two words that simply didn’t appear in Heaven’s vocabulary. As well as ‘Thank you for your hard work’ or ‘We really appreciated that you’ve done this whole crap without questioning it in the first place’ or just a simple ‘Your last nebula was mind-blowing, you incredibly talented angel’.
It’s not that Crawly was demanding or so. Really! But for some kind words you’d wait in vain.
To be fair and square, in Hell they won’t offer you cookies either (Crawly really tried to convince his fellow demons to put more effort into the right acquisition, but incomprehensibly it never fell on understanding ears). Demons don’t trust each other, they don’t even have a single feeling for one another except suspicion. You certainly don’t make friends in Hell. It is a place full of loneliness.
Aziraphale was the first person who ever cared about Crawly at all, noticing things no one noticed, really looking at him and not at the demonic shell. A pure angel as people believe angels should be, with kind and untainted affection. And that was truly something remarkable, because after six thousand years with a troublemaker like him, a demon, his hereditary enemy, Aziraphale never stopped caring.
Read the rest of the chapter here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29945739
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gisachi · 3 years
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Hi ^^ I know that your requests are now closed but I was thinking that, given you have written jealous Shinichi, I would very much enjoy some jealous Ran! Maybe you can mix it with one of the prompts? Just throwing the idea out there, no pressure. Delete this if you don't feel like it, it's okay really. Thank you for writing these amazing fics, the shinran fandom is in your debt. ❤️
So this is the last (!!!) and longest (!!!) of the kiss prompts, and I dedicate it to multiple-requests Anon and to this Anon. I hope both of you still see this. It took me a while. ^^;;
P.S. Special thanks to @artycreaty for keeping this in check. You are awesome. 🥰
41. Kisses shared under an umbrella. 46. A lingering kiss before a long trip apart. (6,489 words)
.
.
.
Ran keeps telling herself she has no right to be jealous.
She has hundreds of reasons not to. They’re merely childhood best friends. Life would be much easier if she didn’t involve herself in his business twenty-four seven. Shinichi absolutely doesn’t look at her that way. And so forth.
She wonders why they’re even friends in the first place. If their parents hadn’t enrolled them in the same kindergarten, she was certain they wouldn’t even be on speaking terms. He lives in a world of grisly books and crimes, she in a world of martial and visual arts. Their hobbies don’t overlap. They excel in different fields. They enter the same university with completely unrelated majors. The only bond they have in common is their shared history. Literally bonded since they were four, until now at nineteen.
So when she sees him all jolly around his newfound circle who hold the same interest in Holmes or detective work, it shouldn’t surprise her as much. It’s part of university life, it’s normal, they expand their horizons, and Ran understands that it hits much differently when they bond with people who like the same stuff they do. Something she’s aware they cannot share a hundred percent.
She’s proud of him, and she absolutely has no right to feel jealous, especially when she sees him around taller, prettier, more interesting women from his course block. There is no reason for her to look away with a heavy weight in her chest everytime the women get giggly and touchy while he’s absorbed in narrating his stories.
Everytime she does, she reminds herself of how he didn’t seem to mind when she was casted as the protagonist of their high school play and the leading man was the handsome Araide-sensei. Or how he simply shrugged when she fawned over the brother of a classmate because he looked so much like the karate senpai she was crushing on. Or when she secretly caught Sonoko dragging the detective behind gym after P.E. to confront him about his opinion regarding an upperclassman courting Ran and his only response was, ‘She can like whoever she likes, Sonoko. I’m not her boyfriend.’
He never showed her any sign of jealousy, therefore he must not be into her. Simple as that. So it’s unfair for her to be treating him differently. Getting snarky just because he received sixteen new fan mails again, more now that they’re in uni, and two even coming from the popular criminology seniors he is often teased to? Or ignoring him unprecedentedly just because his eyes followed the back of a woman with long chestnut hair and voluptuous curves? There are plenty of fish in the sea, and he’s bound to be attracted to someone else. This is a pill she ought to learn to swallow eventually.
Eventually.
“Shinichi-kun, you never told us about your scariest case yet, tell us about it?”
Kaori closes her notes and so do the other two girls across her, and Shinichi’s eyes twinkle. He truly seems to enjoy study sessions with the little group they made consisting of some of his and Ran’s coursemates because they love listening to his stories.
“At the top of my head is this murderer disguised as a bandaged man, and he targeted us one by one…” and so the detective drones. Ran pauses typing and reminisces quietly. Ah, that one from summer three years ago. I was almost injured by that crazy man during my sleep but Shinichi woke me up in time.
“Ran-san,” Shun, her friend and coursemate, mutters beside her, also stopping his typing to listen to the detective’s story. “It’s ridiculous how popular Kudou-kun is with the girls. He’s full of wild adventures.”
“Yes, he is,” Ran says, smiling. “He’s been a girl magnet ever since high school.”
She watches as Kaori inches closer to Shinichi, listening attentively, chin on her palm and flirtatious smile on her lips as the detective rants on and on.
For the third time that afternoon, Ran looks away.
.
.
Ran keeps telling herself she has no right to be jealous.
She does, everyday, but it’s hard when he smiles at her, cares for her, holds her in a way she’s never seen him do for anyone else. It gives her hope every time the girls cling to him but he never touches them back, whereas he automatically slings his arm over her shoulder because she’s afraid or cold or he simply feels like it.
Then again, maybe she’s giving herself too much credit. Perhaps it’s a free pass for being around him for too long. She even gets to spend time with him during weekends and holidays. It isn’t special because it’s normal.
And that’s all she’ll ever be, a normal girl in his eyes.
“Ran? She’s pretty special.”
Ran reacts to the mention of her name and catches Shinichi looking at her. “She appears quiet but she can kick anyone’s ass without breaking a sweat. It’s bad if you cross her,” Shinichi gloats with a grin.
“Oh my god, really? We can bring her with us then!” Kaori claps her hands in excitement.
“Ah... But she won’t like that,” he follows up, wary. Ran has missed the topic they were talking about and now she’s curious.
“But ghosts aren’t real and Mouri-san can give them a good beating!”
“Gh-Ghosts?” The color in her cheeks drains, eyes freezing at Shinichi who has probably already expected that reaction, for he sports that same look of concern as those times he had expressed whenever she joined him in his way-past-bedtime elementary school adventures.
“We’ll investigate an abandoned house I always pass by walking home,” Kaori explains. “Last night I saw a faint cigarette light at the second floor window. It might be a fugitive or a homeless person or a ghost, who knows?”
“You don’t need to come if you don’t want to, Ran,” Shinichi assures.
Gulping, Ran contemplates whether going with them will do her any good. It’s a nice change, it’s been a while since she last tagged with Shinichi in his cases. But she isn’t exactly proud of shrieking like a little kid in front of serious criminology majors who may feel like she’ll drag their covert investigation down if she joins.
“...I’ll pass,” she answers meekly, and his coursemates sulk except Shinichi, who offers her a smile of understanding.
“Man, I thought we’ll be able to see Mouri-san in action!”
“That’s ok, maybe next time. We still have Shinichi-kun!”
“Shinichi-kun will protect us, ne?”
“Hah. Right. Invite Hakuba too, use him.”
“Oh c’mooon, Shinichi-kun!”
Ran closes her eyes, struggling to zone their voices out.
In her silence, Ran ponders if she has made a wrong choice.
.
.
Ran has no right to be jealous. So it’s unfair for her to be treating him this way.
The following weekend, Shinichi narrates what happened in their late-night investigation. Hakuba wasn’t there so Shinichi was the only available guy as usual. Ran refuses to hear any more details, both of the haunted house and secretly of the girls chancing onto him during the investigation. Shinichi is puzzled.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Nah, just swamped with work.”
“On a Sunday?”
“Yes.”
“Want me to assist?”
“No.”
Her replies are curt from the couch of his house, not looking at Shinichi on the other end as she mindlessly cleans up her digital sketches. She hates how snappy she sounds but her brain is too absorbed with conjuring spiteful imaginations to even think of masking her annoyance.
“Ran, hey. Look at me.”
His low voice freezes her from drawing, and she slowly looks up to meet Shinichi’s serious eyes.
When this happens, she knows he’s reading her. She inwardly chants a prayer because now isn’t a good time. Whatever time isn’t a good time. She doesn’t know what to say when she’s aware everything she’s been feeling is irrational and unfair. She’s being selfish.
“You’re… stressed.”
“No, I’m… Eh?”
He scoots closer, an arm’s length away. “Your dark circles are more prominent now, you need a break.” His eyes turn a soft blue. “Let’s have dinner out? My treat.”
Ran is surprised, to say the least. The last time he invited her out was two weeks ago. She’s become so used to seeing him around others that any initiative from him sounds too good to be true.
“But I need to finish this project by tonight.”
“Let’s have food delivery then!” Shinichi announces, not rattled by Ran’s indirect refusal. “I know exactly what you want. Ramen and shaved ice.”
Her eyes thin at the absurdly goofy expression she knows he makes when he’s being mischievous. “Clearly you’re ordering that ramen for yourself. I only like shaved ice.”
“Damn! Miss Detective gets it.” A mile-wide grin stretches across his face, earning an eye roll from the half-smiling woman. “Let’s eat together on your short break, please?”
He leans within a respectful distance and she sees his smile better, pair of kind eyes locking with her overworked ones. “It’s been a while.”
Her heart throbs for him. So much.
She caves - of course she does - and breathes her acquiescence.
After two long weeks, they have dinner together, just them and Shinichi’s ramen and Ran’s donburi and shaved ice, Shinichi taking a spoonful of dessert from the cup when she isn’t looking and Ran snatching a slurp from his take-out bowl and laughing when he catches her.
With how heartfelt his laughter is in her presence devoid of any mysteries, Ran knows she’s probably giving herself too much credit, but for once she wants to believe she is the cause of why Shinichi’s happy.
Just for that night, she gives it to herself.
She’ll change the dark colors of her digital artwork to brighter ones after they eat.
.
.
Despite everything, Ran finds it difficult to contain her recurring jealousy.
The more she shares precious time with him, the more it gets harder to suppress the selfish emotions. What is so unsatisfying about being the best friend is that she is only the best friend. No more no less. At the end of the day, she isn’t the one he gets to cuddle with, to tease then kiss, to tell ‘I love you’ to, romantically.
“I love you.”
Ran feels her heart about to leap out of her chest.
“But please. Stop. Tearing. The. Cushions!”
The little furball he has scooped underneath a throw pillow wiggle from his grasp. The kitten and detective engage in a brief staring showdown before it jumps away to hide under a farther couch.
Snapping out of reverie, Ran watches her childhood friend slink dejectedly onto the partly scratched furniture. He’s fortunate enough that his mother isn’t around to give him a long lecture on Why Pets Aren’t Allowed in the House 101. She can always take Yukiko-san’s role and reprimand him for it, but as for this and the cat, she finds herself not wanting to intervene.
“Kaori-san sure is taking her time with her parent’s permission. By the time she does, Momo would’ve shredded all the pillows in this house.”
“You named the cat?” Ran asks, amused.
“She did.” He thinks for a moment, then sniggers. “Actually I did. I suggested a random name. She took it.”
Ran merely hums. What can she say? They’re getting close. Close enough to team up as parents to an adopted kitten.
“I’m surprised you also agreed to keep Momo when you never took in animals before.”
“Kaori said she’ll treat me to the latest Detective Samonji movie this weekend if I do. Can’t resist that.”
“Just you two?”
“Yeah.”
A beat. Then he turns to her.
“Wanna join? I can ask her to count you in since you’re kinda helpi—”
“N-no need,” Ran quips, “It’s—It’s fine.”
“No really,” Shinichi insists, “Kaori-san has a lot of money, she—”
“I’m going to Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum with Shun-san this weekend... so... I can’t.”
“Ah.”
Silence.
“It’s, um, for a project,” she bolsters.
“I know.” The faintest smile graces his lips. “It’s your thing. Both of you.”
“Mm.”
He doesn’t say anything else after that.
“Shinichi, you’re a detective, right?” she blurts out of the blue.
“Yeah...and?”
Then deduce what I feel. Here and now.
“Then you’re going to enjoy that movie!” Ran forces a beam, giving Shinichi a thumb of approval. “And you can discuss it with Kaori-san over dinner. I’m sure you two have a lot to say about it.”
Shinichi’s eyes linger on her, reading her like a book, and Ran has her mind reeling again, afraid to be read.
“Yeah, we do,” he finally says, ending the conversation.
Only a few words are uttered the rest of the afternoon.
Momo resurfaces and curls beside Shinichi.
Momo’s purring is loud, but Ran’s shattering heart is louder.
.
.
Ran must not feel jealous. She is not a girlfriend.
Because she isn’t a girlfriend, he’s free to fall for and date anyone else. Who is she to gatekeep him? There are plenty of fish in the sea, and he’s one big catch. Ran believes she’s a big catch, too. With the way she loves dearly, her future boyfriend is going to be very lucky.
Her future boyfriend is not going to be him.
“...mber the required fieldwork in one of my majors I told you? We actually go by batches. The first batch did theirs last month. The second batch was last week… and I— Ran, are you listening?”
“Ah! Yes,” Ran notices they have already reached her station and are now walking two blocks to her apartment. “Your fieldwork, right?”
“...Yeah,” he carries on. “I’m in the last batch... This whole winter break.”
“I see, I understand.” She smiles, getting what he means. No Christmas or New Year’s Eve together. The first time since they’re four. It’s fine, honestly. If it’s a required activity, then there’s really no way to go about it. She isn’t going to lash out just because she can’t be with him in her most favorite time of the year.
“And Hattori-kun and Hakuba-kun will be with you?”
“Hattori did his last month. Hakuba is in the previous batch. I’ll be stuck with the girls.”
Ran’s heart momentarily squeezes. “Where will your fieldwork be?”
“In Akita.”
Her pupils constrict. “That far?”
“Yes... so to cut on expenses, Kaori-san offered her house for me and the others to stay while we’re there—”
Kaori. Again with the tall, beautiful, intelligent Kaori. She bets it’s amazing to spend the holidays doing what he loves and with Kaori beside her, snuggling with him by the fireplace in a romantic snowy night and she might even confess, and it’ll be a great catch for Shinichi, and he’ll return with a girlfriend, and—
“Kaori-san is lucky.” The words flow out of her mouth, unbridled.
Shinichi looks at her. “Lucky?”
Ran remains quiet and keeps walking. It’s dangerous to say anything. She only has one thing in her mind and she doesn’t want to say it out loud. She has no right.
“Ran, hey.”
She doesn’t stop walking.
“Ran.”
She ignores his call.
“Ran… you’re jealous.”
She stops walking.
“Excuse me?”
“...You’re jealous…” Shinichi repeats quietly.
A contrast to his calm tone, his irises beset hers in the cold twilight and Ran attempts to shield herself but her bag and umbrella are in the way. She thinks of turning away but her feet are frigid like icicles, and Shinichi steps closer.
For the third time, he declares, “You’re jealous.”
Hearing her thoughts echo through his words renders her speechless.
It seems to take a moment before Shinichi’s brow arches, lips curl up as his eyes refuse to stray, and she hears a faint exhale even, like he’s exasperated, and suddenly he’s smiling - or is he smirking? sneering? - and...and...
It stings, is her immediate reaction.
For the longest time, she’d wanted him to take a hint. But if she had known this was how he’d react, she’d rather live a life having him oblivious of her emotional struggle. Dealing with that is more tolerable than witnessing him gaze her down in blatant mockery. He sneers as though he’s about to crack a joke and move on and forget such a laughable matter. That’s the last form of acknowledgment she wants for her honest feelings.
Heartbreak and shame and pain build up in her chest like a volcano closing eruption. Water begins to cloud her vision. She clenches her fist tight on her umbrella and Shinichi notices, and he takes another step forward.
“Ran…?”
“I am not, and you’re a fool.”
In a span of a breath, she’s sprinting in the opposite direction, tracing the path where they have walked, ignoring the distant yells of her name behind her. She runs and runs, and as she runs farther, with her thoughts muddy and breath short and dry, she wonders if she may have overreacted.
If he’s done that on purpose, screw him. If not, screw her.
After all, they are merely friends and she has no logical reason to act this way.
“Stop... running... will you!”
She hears heavy footsteps close in. It takes all the energy Ran has to prevent herself from turning her body around but his strong grip overpowers her.
“Let me go!”
“Why are you running?!”
“I can’t...deal with you!”
“Why? Was I right?”
“Right or wrong, it doesn’t matter!”
“Why doesn’t it matter?”
“Because I am your best friend!”
On another occasion, she would’ve successfully jilted away and run farther, but Ran is floored when he yanks her into a one-armed hug, so floored she drops her umbrella to the snowy ground.
“Stop saying that!” he hisses in her ear, frustration apparent.
“What are you— Let me go!”
He hugs her tighter.
“If you don’t let go in three seconds, I will screa—”
“I am happy!”
Ran stops struggling, eyes widening in shock.
Icy huffs tickle her neck as he half shouts, “I’m happy you feel that way!”
“You’re...You’re happy because I’m suffering?”
“What? No! I—”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better? How?” The hurt in her tone is impeccable, prattling muffled against his chest as she spares him no moment to butt in. “You think I wanted to feel this? That I enjoy griping in helpless jealousy? And you’re rejoicing that I am? How full of yourself can you be?!”
“That’s not...You don’t underst—”
“I do understand! I understand that I am so incredibly stupid for catching this disgusting heap of emotions for an obnoxious, stuck-up deduction maniac that is my best friend and maybe it’s better after all that he never, ever sees me the way I see him!”
“Stop saying that, Ran!”
She thinks he has broken away, but he drags her back with an insistent tug, crashing his lips onto hers as she stumbles into his arms.
All willpower rippling through her disintegrates quickly like snow in high heat.
An impatient pop resonates as he separates, eyes slowly opening, breath thick and ragged.
“I know that is not how we explain things, but does that explain anything?”
She hears it. The madness. But more than madness, yearning bleeds through his voice so much that her frustration turns into physical pain. Blinded by an all-consuming ache, she tips her chin and presses her lips back against his, demanding for cure in the wrong place. Shinichi freezes, then relaxes. He moves his hand to her nape, four fingers in her hair, thumb treading her jaw.
They look like a scene in a movie.
Under his umbrella and hidden from view, they communicate through brushing lips and tilting heads. His mouth closing over hers with gentle force, her hands splaying across his chest, heavy with something that makes his heart pound under them.
She is so lost in the chase and his tender embrace that for a second she forgets she is kissing her best friend.
Best friend.
This doesn’t explain anything. It worsens it.
She pulls back, ending what she has so recklessly started. “N-no, I’m— No.”
She pushes him away, gathers the stuff she drops, and runs without looking back.
“Ran!”
He shouts her name. Twice.
On the third call, his footfalls die down. On the fourth, he stops running.
She doesn’t.
.
.
Thirty minutes before midnight, Ran stands outside his gate, boots buried half foot under the snow as she rings his intercom for the second time, thinking to herself how foolish she must be to cut communications with him for a week and then show up his doorstep looking miserable like a stood-up date.
It’s the start of winter break.
He’ll leave for Akita in ten hours.
She needs to give his Christmas present before his departure.
She’s crazy, pathetic, still frustrated, and hurtfully in love.
“Oi. You better have a good explanation for why you’re buzzing at goddamn midnig—”
“Shinichi.”
His surprised gasp is apparent even through the intercom. A rustle follows and with a croaky voice, he responds. “...Ran.”
Surely he isn’t expecting this. Not after the tantrum she threw days ago. He probably thinks she hates him more than ever. But what she truly feels is more overwhelming than all negative emotions combined, and may god grant her all the strength to address it all, tonight.
“May I come in?”
“The house is—The house is a mess I, um. I’m packing my stuff for...”
“I’ll help you.”
“...”
She’ll understand if he decides to turn her down. But the answer that follows the deafening pause is a low and quiet ‘Okay’.
Despite psyching herself hours before she came, courage wanes when he opens the front door and gate in his pullovers. She is welcomed in, and the trip up his room is wordless. Shinichi only talks when he points out that he’s already packed clothes for two days and will need help for two weeks’ worth. He lamely laughs when he instructs her to pick the tops and layers, and he’ll take care of the pants and underwear.
On a normal instance, she would’ve humored him and they would’ve been talking right after. Now she simply pulls an empty smile and then they fall back into silence.
She supposes he’s trying to act unbothered, to treat what happened a week ago as a one-and-done glitch in their friendship, never to be discussed again. She cannot fault him when she’s trying to do the same. But it’s not easy when in the stillness of the night the echo of their altercation howls, raging persistently in their ears.
What has he been thinking of for the past week?
Has he been kept up all night by the words she said and the words he left unspoken?
Are they still friends? Will they still be friends after this?
The kiss... What about the kiss?
So many questions. So little words. So little time.
Ran is seated on the floor, folding shirts and stuffing them neatly in his duffel bag. Her back faces Shinichi who is sorting out bottoms in his cabinet. She senses him sit on the floor, back against her but not touching. Neither dares to speak first.
A ringing phone cuts the silence.
“Mm, still awake. Good for two weeks right? Gotcha. No, I’ll meet you girls at the station, no need to fetch me. Pfft. I can walk. Ok, see you tomorrow.”
If Ran wasn’t so hyperaware of where she is and what she’s done, her mood would’ve shifted to the one she’d been trying to avoid. Now isn’t the time to think about that. Midnight sneaking out to go to his house is something she wouldn’t do even on good days. She scans her bag on the far couch, deliberately bringing a bigger one to hide his gift. Maybe she can just sneak it in his bag and leave once she’s done and he’ll discover it only when he’s prefectures away. Brown has always suited him, and he’ll definitely find the overcoat useful as spare protective gear.
That’s right. She always cares for him like this. She is his best friend first, and... and nothing second.
“Don’t just leave after putting your present in my bag. At this hour, I can’t let you walk home alone,” he says swiftly.
Ran’s eyes fly wide.
“How did you…”
He doesn’t say anything and continues with his business.
Again with the throat-drying silence.
Something in Ran’s gut compels her to speak, but she is surprised when he does first.
“I... I don’t like Kaori-san. If that’s what you’re thinking.”
Ran stiffens, pausing mid-motion from folding. “I’m not…”
He leans his back completely against her and she shudders, voice reverberating through her skin. “Ran, if you could just hear me out.”
Unable to talk and move, she does.
“Kaori-san and the rest... They know I love mysteries. They know I want to build my own private detective agency. They know my favorite Holmes’ story is The Sign of Four. They know how many crimes I solved in Tokyo. All the information about me which anyone can read from the internet and newspaper and from what I told them when they ask, they know. Ran, you know all that. All that and more.”
He angles his head to the ceiling as if he’s talking to someone there. Ran supports his weight, curling to her knees as she silently listens.
“You know of my first ever deduction because Christ, my first deduction was about you. You know of the two cases which haunt me until this day because I watched the culprit die in front of my very eyes. You were with me the nights I locked myself in here thinking about them. You know of the interesting, the boring, the absurd cases, everything, because I told you or you were there. You know of the odd way I play the violin while I ponder over a case. You know I forget to eat when swamped with new books to read. I have three copies of The Sign of Four but the one I keep beside my bed and read almost weekly is the one you gave me on my tenth birthday and that is all I need. You know me for me, Ran. Everything about me that is off the record, the good and the bad, you know all of those. Only you. The same way I do... about you.”
She feels him crane slightly to the side, addressing her.
“Ran.”
“Mm.”
“I love you.”
Ran’s heart almost completely stops beating.
“I love you,” he whispers, “more than I am even supposed to.”
All words seem to have fizzled out of her vocabulary as she sits still, stunned at what she’s hearing.
“I’m happy growing up with you, studying with you, bickering with you, acting stupid with you, investigating with you, eating with you, napping with you, hugging you, holding you, taking care of you, simply... being with you. Before I know it, it’s not the cases or Holmes or mysteries that complete my days, it’s you.
“For you to keep repeating that ‘best friend’ phrase, I…” He lowers his head.
“For who knows how long, I’ve loved you as that and more.”
Someone pinch her because in no way can this be real.
“I was happy thinking you’re jealous because it meant a sliver of chance you feel the same way. We could’ve remedied the misunderstanding easily, Ran. We could’ve talked it over like we always do. But I was stupid and emotions were high and in the end I… kissed you…” he takes another deep breath, “But—but you kissed me back, and my heart couldn’t stay still...”
Pulse drumming loud, Ran tilts her head on the side where he leans, wanting to see the slightest expression he makes as he continues.
“If my deductions are wrong and you’re mad for a different reason, and—and you returned that for a different reason...” she hears the pang of remorse in his tone, “then please forget I ever said anything and I’ll leave myself to die in humiliation once I’m out of your sight.”
He lays one palm flat on the floor and she notices.
“But if my deductions are right and you were indeed jealous, I...” She feels his head swivel enough to feel his warm breath fan across her cheek, before shifting back front and releasing a slow, guttural exhale he’s kept contained within.
“I’ll wait... until you accept it. Accept me.”
Ran may have choked on her throat for how long she’s held her breath.
In spite of herself, she knows she doesn’t need to think of what to say. She had it all in her head before coming here. Yet expressing it out loud is a different matter.
She isn’t ready, but when will she ever be ready? Shinichi undoubtedly isn’t too. Yet here he is, laying the groundwork for her, no holds barred and a stuttering mess at that. How she plans to build from it is the question she asks herself next.
Inhaling as though bracing herself, she places a hand beside him, pinky slightly grazing his.
“I didn’t... You never showed any signs.”
Careful and calm, he extends his little finger over hers. She doesn’t flinch, and both hands crawl closer until two fingers overlap.
“Either I’m a great pretender or you’re incredibly dense.”
“I’m...I’m not dense.”
“I’m a bad actor, then.” He slides his hand further.
“I was trying so hard to be a supportive best friend for you.”
“I sensed that but ignored it because I didn’t want to assume anything.”
“You did though. Now we’re here.”
“Would you rather we aren’t?”
“I would rather we spend the last weeks of this year talking like normal than being stupid idiots before you leave.”
“It’s just two weeks, Ran.”
“Two special weeks I would’ve wanted to spend with my best frien-... with you.”
Without knowing it, his hand has completely nestled atop hers, four fingers curled between her thumb and index finger.
“Ran... You must really hate the idea of falling in love with me.”
“Eh?”
“You’re so wrapped with the thought that we’re simply best friends that you hold your love in chains as though it isn’t permitted to grow.”
“I… I didn’t want to ruin the only connection we have-”
“Two friends falling in love are still friends… They are also more. You cannot ruin an indefeasible connection. Friendship and love may be the only bond we have, but they’re the most important bond of all.”
Ran falls quiet.
“Geez…”
He releases a thick sigh, brushes his thumb across her splayed fingers.
“I have shit art appreciation skills, but I can take you to museums too... as a friend and as a date.” A beat, and a mumble. “Even to better museums than Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum.”
She darts her head sideways, realizing something.
“Were you also…?”
“No.”
Ran doesn’t suppress the heartfelt giggle that bubbles out.
“Shun-san has a boyfriend, Shinichi.”
“I—” he pauses. “I wasn’t asking.” Ran giggles more.
“Shinichi.”
“Yes.”
“I love you too.”
The hand above squishes hers all too suddenly like he’s been blown away and is needing something to hold onto.
“I came here to give your present and to apologize for being so shallow and for acting without thinking and for a lot of things actually... but now I feel there’s no need, because then I wouldn’t have...” She looks down at their intertwined hands.
Before she can return his squeeze, he recoils.
“Oh, y-you do apologize. Running away like that.” He coughs, and she can practically hear the tripping in his tone.
“Aren’t you already used to it? I’ve done it many times,” she chides.
“No. Apologize,” he insists. “And look at me while you do.”
Ran’s stomach twists, heart kicking up a step.
It’s easy to talk without eye contact, but to be requested so after confessions are exchanged—
“Face me, Ran.”
The familiar voice of yearning strums her heartstrings, tone sounding a lot like a plea than an order and Ran finds her head instinctively craning at an angle, hand coiling on the floor trying to calm her nervous beating heart. She feels him shift behind as well.
She takes all her time to face him, partly unsure what to do, partly knowing exactly what she wants to do. Despite the deliberate slowness of their movements, it is when they lock eyes that time truly seems to stop.
Shinichi appears so different, so soulful. His blue irises glimmering, fixated on nothing but her as she reveres him with matching intensity. The same guy she treats as her best friend looks at her with tender love in his eyes, darting down her lips and up like no best friend ever would.
“I love you,” he says, breathless. “Make me your boyfriend.”
A wave of emotion sweeps over her, heartbeat fluttering in overdrive as they huddle on the floor, bags and clothes and time forgotten.
“From best friend to... such a shift-”
“Nothing will be different.” He rests his forehead on hers, gaze of soft blue patient though more intimate now, knowing what they share is mutual. “We’ll still do what we do... With exclusive romantic commitment and sweet nothings that translate to ‘I love you’ in more ways than one.”
She attempts a jab on his chest but he catches her fist, soft but jesting beam all too apparent and she does but play along.
“What about when we fight?” she asks.
“Same. But...” he slides a thumb over her quiet lips, parting them slightly, “I can do this once we make up.”
“...Like right now?”
“Like right now.”
A genuine smile is the last thing she sees before delicate pair of lips lands on hers, capping their one-week fight and their last night of the year together in the best and most unexpected way imaginable.
.
.
Ran keeps telling herself she shouldn’t be jealous.
Not because they are simply best friends, because they aren’t. Not because life would be easier if she didn’t involve herself in his business twenty-four seven, because it wouldn’t.
Not because Shinichi doesn’t look at her that way, because he does.
She shouldn’t be jealous because she absolutely has no reason to, is all.
“I haven’t forgotten about your present. I was planning to buy yours in Akita.”
“Stop lying, you totally forgot it.”
“I didn’t. Stop that.” Half-mast eyes rake her side profile, and Ran covers a mirthful grin with her mitted hand holding the umbrella, then yawns. Hours of packing and talking and laughing left them with roughly four hours of sleep. It isn’t like she slept the whole period because while sleeping in his room isn’t new, cuddling while they sleep is. Ran couldn’t simply shut her eyes and heart to that.
“I believe though,” he wraps a hand around her free one, pocketing both of them in his brand new overcoat, “I gave half of my present already.”
“Hnn. That doesn’t count as a gift.” Her hand shifted, coddling his own to a warm fit.
“Really?” A smug smirk pulls up his face. “I believe I am a nice present, Ran. That’s why they—”
“Screw this. You are unbelievable. A humbug. Why do people like you.”
“I know. Why do you like me?” Shinichi laughs as he avoids the swing of her umbrella.
From afar, they see Kaori and the girls at the meet-up point outside Tokyo Station, though they seem unaware of their presence yet. Suddenly feeling conscious, Ran feels the urge to disentangle her hand, but Shinichi holds on, firm.
“Why?” He asks in a low voice.
“I dunno… maybe this isn’t the best time…”
“Isn’t now the best time?” His smile is proud and natural, not one ounce of reluctance visible.
Although she gets what he means, that doesn’t free her of shyness and guilt. Somehow she feels like apologizing to Kaori for… she doesn’t know. She just wants to. Letting her see them like this makes her think that she’s giving her an indirect slap on the face. Shinichi certainly won’t agree because ‘What’s with women and their logic?’, but still, whether or not it’s all in her head, Ran needs more time to prepare for this.
But to her surprise, Shinichi lets go of her hand. They are still a few feet from view when he steps in front of her and turns around. “Maah, fine, I get it,” he huffs, then smiles. “Then, just give me your umbrella.”
The moment she does, Shinichi closes their distance and dips his face onto hers. Ran is given no leeway to gasp as loving lips seal her quiet. It isn’t as long as what they shared a week ago, but the emotions are loaded and full, speaking fond thanks and temporary farewell.
She doesn’t realize she has closed her eyes until he separates, and she’s met with the most tender, most angelic expression he wears only on the rarest occasions. He’s saying without telling that her feelings are valid, she doesn’t have to worry,  and he doesn’t have eyes for anyone but her. Somehow, the snow is the sea and fish are swarming around but neither cares because they have already caught each other.
“You don’t have to, silly.” Three layers of pink blanket Ran’s puffy cheeks.
“But I want to.” Grinning, Shinichi hands her back the umbrella. “You don’t like hand-holding. You don’t like being seen. Don’t you think that’s a great compromise?”
“Idiot, many people saw...”
“No, they didn’t!” Upping the duffel bag slung on his shoulder, he steps back and gives her one last goofy beam. “I’ll see you next year, Ran. I’ll call as often as I can.”
Wordlessly, Ran watches Shinichi’s back as he jogs to his waiting companions, who by then have already had their eyes pinned on the approaching figure.
“That is Shinichi-kun! ...And Mouri-san!”
“Ehhh!!?! You’re a thing!”
So much for being subtle, Ran flushes inwardly as she returns the wave the other girls are giving her. At that moment she really does feel immature for her past conduct. All of them are sweet. Even Kaori.
“I knew it Shinichi-kun! Mouri-san is sooo lucky, I’m so jealous!” Ran hears their banter and sees her jab his bicep before acknowledging her. “We’ll take care of him, Mouri-san!”
The Ran from one week ago would’ve had her heart crushed by such declaration, but now she’s nothing but pleased and the smile that forms across her lips is nothing but honest. “Make sure he doesn’t drag your group into a random dead body, Kaori-san!”
“Hey!” surfaces Shinichi’s shout amidst the mincing laughter of the group and the onlooking passers-by, and Ran bids her last wave before they enter the station.
Smiling to herself, Ran returns home, the lingering promise of his kiss committed to memory, knowing that she doesn’t have to get jealous because she has no reason to. Their indefeasible bond is all the assurance she needs.
.
.
.
133 notes · View notes
steve0discusses · 3 years
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Yugioh S5 Ep 20: Yugi’s Senshi Outfit
So I’ve been doing a lot of work, and I haven’t looked at the blog for a hot minute and when I finally checked back in to do these posts I noticed something on my tumblr was just blowing up. I got all excited thinking “oh shoot, Did I draw something right??” and instead, it was a random post I made about the bootspants from season 1. Three years later, resurrected from the grave and covered in...thousands of notes? I don’t understand how this website works.
Anyways, the comments are mostly good, but a little bit wild. A lot of people seem to think I would know what Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is, when I’m an adult who is still watching the first 5 seasons of Yugioh. (I will never have time to watch Jojo,) and then some other people started talking about Actual Card Mechanics that went...completely beyond my comprehension. But then there was one person. One person who said one thing, and brought it all together.
Poots.
The boots that are pants.
Poots.
I can’t believe I looked at all the different combinations, but a Poots never crossed my brain.
It is so perfect, so cathartic, although it took 3 years to get there.
Poots.
Anyways, we’re in S5 and unfortunately not in poots anymore, Yugi is now dressed in a tupperware container from hell and they have wandered into a desert. On cue, Grandpa has an injury, but at least this time it’s not his ass.
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You know how there’s artists who do hyper-realistic versions of pokemon monsters with detailed bone structure and muscle anatomy? I dare them to look at this orb and tell me how the hell it has wings. Like go ahead and try and pin a spine down on that thing. I’ll wait.
(read more under the cut)
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So Joey decides to sprint down this endless desert with just boundless positivity.
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Over the edge of this sand dune is a whole bunch of huts,just random civilization out in the middle of no where.
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One girl walks over and it’s a look.
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She’s really the only one here who can talk, and she just seems...so incredibly bored to be here. A whole lot of Wednesday Addams energy. She leads them into a hut where an old guy pulls a scroll out of blue fire. As you do.
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Again, this arc should have been a video game, because while it’s something to get the player interested if there’s some riddle they have to solve to progress, when you’re watching a TV show, it’s not like I’m the one solving the riddle. The format is honestly one of the downers of this arc, tbh.
It has strong “I played a D+D sesh and made a webcomic out of it vibe” and I know I just called out like half of you, but listen, I will not take it back.
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This episode, our gimmick is some asshole is going to be yelling at us from the other end of the map, just shouting in the background for the entirety of the episode like that tangible human skull meme.
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Then Wednesday Addams hands over yet another MacGuffin because why not?
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Tea can twin it up with Yugi now. Her necklace doesn’t seem haunted, but it’s only a matter of time. (also her necklace looks so freakin terrible, we’ll see it later and I’ll have a lot more to say because wtf it looks like some sort of polly pocket.)
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I’m not 100% that the voice that shouts at us from the end of the hall this episode is Mokuba’s voice actress. But I’m 99% positive it is, or Mokuba’s voice is just really that type of vibe.
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Stuff happens, and it felt like card duel stuff, so I’m gonna skip over the part where they pulled out their duel monsters one by one, since the fight was pointless anyway because the worms can turn you into stone. So Yugi and Pharaoh decide to have a chat about it because their plan is clearly not working.
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This is when Pharaoh has a vivid lucid daydream, which seems like something that would have been more convenient before he ended up turning into stone on the floor of some desert. But, hallucinations never come when they’re convenient on this show. They usually come during card games, tbh.
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Imagine with me that you’re dreaming of like...an old ass greek guy who is 99% Alexander the Great. Imagine he tells you to fuse with a sentient paper card that you already carry around in a weird capsule.
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Please
For the love of all that is holy
Do not think about what it means to fuse with the Dark Magician.
Dark Magician is...he “exists” but he’s like not even a person. There seem to be whole fleets of dark Magicians, which are all the same guy, just cloned, right? Or maybe they’re a family? Or like...I don’t freakin know. Like they’re all hanging out together in some card dimension so it’d be more like fusing with the guy who dresses like Barney the dinosaur instead of actually Barney. Like he’s more of like a concept than a dude, but apparently you can just introduce him to your...whatever this armor is supposed to be, and Dark Magician turns into a Super Suit.
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I want to express my thanks to the Yugioh team for not putting Yami in his underoos. Hell, they didn’t even take off his jacket. I do not know what art directer ok’d this for animation and said “yeah, this won’t kills us if we animate it.” but that is a hell ton of lines and design right there. Yeah they have 3d, and probably had to 3d that staff...but that doesn’t mean you don’t end up drawing it, in the end--you still have to draw over your 3d. You still have to draw literally everything.
Anyway, when we get to the eye of the storm. The secret to getting there was that you have to fly, which again--3/5 of these guys already have a monster that can fly. We can finally tell the voice at the end of the hall to stop yelling because it’s really bothering all the townspeople, and then move on with the quest.
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Everyone else was stone during this. So when they un-petrified they kinda looked over at Yugi and were like “how freakin long was I out???”
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But youknow, Yugi’s 2 people, so it’s fine. So long as you don’t get down to the third bastard still sitting around in there.
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After this, our NPCs vanish, and the show pushes us directly forward. No time for them to piss off a land turtle or set a bunch of wolves on fire. Just get out of the desert and freakin go.
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I’m just so bothered by this random ass huge chunky necklace.
It’s like the size of your freakin fist. And it’s just...a pentagon. Congrats Tea, you have a fake ass plastic necklace. I guess it’s so that when we’re far away we can still see it on her chest but like...This show loves huge ass necklaces, and they’re all basic ass shapes. We got a pyramid, the Kaiba’s wear squares, Bakura wears a circle with kind of phallic bits hanging off of it and this is just...it’s literally just a pentagon.
I guess Ishizu wore a wadjet and Duke has an indecipherable clown as his necklace. But man...the Yugioh necklace game is just a lot of shapes.
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And so we continue on with this filler arc, which is also a pokemon arc, and even secretly has a Sailor Moon arc just stuffed in there for funsies. This arc is weird.
Also, I brought up the human skull so I legally have to post this.
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Anyway, here’s a link to read these in chrono order, in case you just got here: https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
And I’m off to drink a bin of ice water because it is 5 billion degrees right now in this house.
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gingersnapwolves · 3 years
Text
The Untamed, a brief summary [Part 1/6]
Okay my friends, I have heard your calls. Here’s my play-by-play version of The Untamed.
Note the first: I’m dividing it up into sections because it is, after all, a 50 episode series and I doubt anyone will want to wade through it all in one go.
Note the second: I am going to try to be as unbiased as possible. There are different ways to interpret some of the characters’ actions, especially later in the show when things get morally complex. You can find oceans of meta on this stuff, so I will try not to pick a side when at all possible. 
Note the third: I’m going to keep the tone pretty light and humorous. This show gets *dark* in the middle but y’all are reading a summary and I don’t want it to get too dry or too depressing. Please pardon me if I am flippant from time to time.
Part One: Sword Wizard School
I thought about doing a character guide but decided it would be easier to introduce you to characters as we meet them, because there are a LOT of characters. However, I am going to give you a brief primer on the important families/places.
Actually, let me back up a little further. The Untamed is a xianxia drama, so it’s about people trying to become immortal celestial beings. They fight monsters and do a lot of magic, and they live in clans/sects. A clan is a family. A sect is a cultivation style/school. The terms are often used interchangeably (even I’m guilty) but they are not exactly the same. Members of a clan will belong to that sect, but the sect will also take in outsiders to train, who are sect members but not clan members.
There are five Great Sects:
Province: Yunmeng; sect: Jiang, home: Lotus Pier
Province: Gusu, sect: Lan, home: Cloud Recesses
Province: Lanling, sect: Jin, home: Koi/Carp Tower
Province: Qinghe, sect: Nie, home: The Unclean Realm (this is not to say it is dirty, it’s from Buddhism and might also translate to ‘The Worldly Realm’)
Province: Qishan, sect: Wen, home: Nightless City/Nevernight (depending on translation) 
Here’s a map I made for my fic reference which shows roughly where these provinces are in relation to each other. I may have pretended they were cities in America so I could calculate mileage. Yes I am the world’s biggest nerd, thanks.
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H’okay! The show is not in chronological order but I am going in chronological order because the point is to make this simple for you. I’ll admit that I may not get everything 100% correct because it’s been a while since I watched parts of it but I’ll try.
Setting: Caiyi Town, [Gusu]
ENTER A GREMLIN.
Meet Wei Wuxian. He is a 16 year old chaos gremlin with ADHD. He does not look 16 but actors in American dramas pretending to be teenagers also do not look 16 so we’ll let that go. He is with his adopted brother (also 16ish, but younger than Wei Wuxian) Jiang Cheng, and his adopted older sister, Jiang Yanli (probably about 6 years older).
Oh, right. Names. Most characters have two names, a birth name and a ‘courtesy’ name which is a fancy name they get when they’re old enough to get their swords and stuff. They also have titles. For the sake of not driving y’all crazy, I will choose the most commonly used name for the character and stick with it, and then give you a chart at the end so you’ll understand fanfiction.
Wei Wuxian and his siblings are headed to Sword Wizard School in Gusu, hosted by the Lan sect. Wei Wuxian is clearly planning to Be Himself during these lectures, and Jiang Cheng does Not Approve. Jiang Cheng is obviously very serious and concerned with appearances, which makes sense because he is the sect heir. As an adopted son, Wei Wuxian can goof off; Jiang Cheng does not have that luxury. (Wei Wuxian is the son of two of Jiang Cheng’s father’s friends, who died when he was young. More on this later.) Jiang Cheng reminds Wei Wuxian and the other disciples that are with them that they are representing the Jiang sect and they should make a good impression.
They don’t think they can get to Cloud Recesses before dark so they get rooms at an inn.
ENTER A SNOB.
Jin Zixuan is the next fun character you’ll meet. He’s also 16 or thereabouts despite looking 24 at minimum. He is a sect heir to the Lanling Jin and he does not like being near or interacting with strangers. He pays the innkeeper to rent the whole inn and throw any other guests out. Is this a dick move? I’m trying to be unbiased here, so yes. Yes it is.
Wei Wuxian tries to flirt with a couple of Jin Zixuan’s retainers to get them to allow the Yunmeng siblings to stay, but Jin Zixuan decides to be a big jerk about it. Fun fact! Jin Zixuan is betrothed to Jiang Yanli! He is literally throwing his betrothed out of an inn so he doesn’t have to share a building with people. Wei Wuxian gets pissy and picks a fight with him but Jiang Yanli convinces him that he’s not worth it (although she is much nicer about it than any of us would be in her shoes), and they decide to head up to Cloud Recesses despite the time.
But alas! In their haste, they leave their invitation behind.
ENTER AN ICE PRINCE
As the Yunmeng trio try to talk their way past the gate, Lan Wangji arrives. Also 16, he is your classic stoic, repressed gay, and is the younger brother of the Lan Sect leader. With him are a bunch of Lan cultivators and a guy on a stretcher who is clearly in rough shape. The Lan cultivators carry him inside.
Wei Wuxian, pure of heart and dumb of ass, decides that this is a great time to try to talk his way through the gate, figuring that Lan Wangji, being an important person, can let them in. Lan Wangji reacts about how you would expect a stoic repressed gay would to a cute boy flirting with him for the first time: uses a silencing spell on him, tells him he’s absolutely not admitted without their invitation, and locks them out. 
Jiang Cheng, who has spent the last 3 minutes desperately trying to get his brother to shut up before he gets them all in trouble, sends him back to town to find the invitation.
Int. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]
ENTER A SOFT MAN AND HIS EXTREMELY STARCHED UNCLE
Lan Xichen, the head of the Lan sect and Lan Wangji’s older brother, is studying the guy they brought in, with his uncle. Lan Xichen is young for a sect leader (he’s only 19 in the book but probably 24-25ish in the show) and his uncle advises him a lot of the time. The guy they brought is kind of dead but also kind of not. They say a bunch of stuff you won’t understand if you have not seen xianxia dramas before. It’s not really important.
Ext. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]
RE-ENTER THE GREMLIN
Wei Wuxian has come back with the invitation to find the rest of his sect no longer waiting outside and all of Cloud Recesses sealed by wards. “Wards are made to be broken,” he says, demonstrating a clear lack of understanding of their purpose. It’s a good thing he’s here for school.
He breaks in, carrying a couple jars of liquor, only to find Lan Wangji standing guard. Lan Wangji reprimands him for breaking important Lan sect rules like a) not breaking and entering, b) not coming in after dark, and c) bringing alcohol, which is forbidden. Wei Wuxian offers him one of the jars because he is 16 and stupid and for some reason thought a bribe was what this situation needed. Lan Wangji pulls a sword on him, which is definitely a reasonable response and not because he has his first boner and he’s angry about it.
They have a sword fight, basically to a draw. Lan Wangji drags him in to see Lan Xichen, who clearly thinks this is hilarious. Wei Wuxian blames everything on Jin Zixuan and Lan Wangji. He also says intelligent things about the not-a-corpse they’re examining, because the writers wanted us to know that he’s not a whole dumbass. Lan Xichen basically slaps him on the wrist, tells him to behave himself and sends him off to the guest house his siblings were given, and then teases Lan Wangji about Baby’s First Crush.
Ext, Nightless City [Qishan]
ENTER AN OVER THE TOP VILLAIN AND HIS HENCHMEN
Nightless City isn’t actually nightless. It’s just never dark there because it’s on top of a volcano, because that’s where all the cool villains live.
This is the home of the Qishan Wen, who are Obviously Evil from the Black Outfits, Volcano Lair, and Shuffling Zombies. Their leader is Wen Ruohan. His personality is that he is evil. He’s saying a bunch of stuff you won’t understand yet and then sends his Obnoxious Son Wen Chao off to look for something. He also sends Wen Qing, who is related to him somehow, presumably. She asks if she can bring her brother, Wen Ning, and Wen Ruohan says sure because all he cares about is Being Evil in his Zombie Volcano Lair.
Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]
ENTER A SLACKER and his friend, EVERY RETAIL EMPLOYEE DEALING WITH A KAREN YOU’VE EVER MET. 
They’re all at the first lecture, and there’s a ceremony where each visiting sect presents a gift to Lan Qiren (the uncle/teacher). I think we might see what the Jin give him but I don’t care. Right now we’re talking about Nie Huaisang, the younger brother of the sect leader of the Nie sect. He is baby. He has brought a bird to class for no reason other than that he caught it and thinks it’s cool. Presenting to the dour and stern Lan Qiren makes him nervous.
With him is Meng Yao. Unlike everyone else you’ve met so far, Meng Yao is not a member of the gentry. He is the son of the Jin sect leader and a prostitute. (Yes, this makes him Jin ‘I can’t breathe the same air as commoners’ Zixuan’s younger brother.) When he was old enough to do Sword Magic he went to the Jin sect and asked for admittance, and his father had him thrown down a set of 200 steps because his father is an Enormous Douche. (That’s not biased. Hating this dude is one of the few things everyone agrees on.) Then he went to the Nie sect, and they said, “Sure, you can come in, but you’re not really a disciple, mmkay?” and he said sure. But he has worked his way up to being the assistant to the sect leader which is a pretty important position for someone with his background. 
Naturally, because Meng Yao is Not Like the Others, a few people take this opportunity to gossip and talk smack about him. Meng Yao is upset but tries not to look it. Lan Xichen takes a moment to reassure him, saying that the Nie sect leader had written to him about what a helpful and awesome assistant he had now, and that Meng Yao obviously lived up to it. Meng Yao immediately develops the world’s Most Obvious Crush Don’t @ Me You Would Too.
ENTER MR. OBNOXIOUS, AN IRON MAIDEN, and A PUPPY. Fortunately these are the last characters you’ll meet for a while.
The Wen sect shows up at the gates of Cloud Recesses like ‘what up, I got a big attitude and fuck you’. The gate dude tells them they can’t come in without an invitation, and Wen Chao attacks him because he was raised in a volcano and they go in anyway. With Wen Chao are Wen Qing and her brother, Wen Ning. They are actually pretty awesome, you just don’t know it yet.
Wen Chao busts in on the Saluting Ceremony just as Jiang Cheng is trying to present their gift, and immediately begins insulting everyone there. You should count yourself fortunate that you’re only reading this because Wen Chao is literally the most obnoxious character in this show. Anyway, Wei Wuxian decides to pick a fight with him even though this is *obviously* a stupid thing to do. (I love Wei Wuxian with my whole heart but he is so stupid at 16 lmao.) He calls Wen Chao out on interrupting Jiang Cheng. Wen Chao reacts completely rationally and calmly BAHAHA who am I kidding, he pulls his sword out. Everyone else pulls their swords out. Wen Qing looks like she has the world’s worst migraine.
Lan Xichen takes out his flute and plays eight seconds of music that makes everyone’s swords go flying into the ceiling. Had I mentioned how awesome Lan Xichen is? Because he is Awesome.
Wen Chao gets even more pissy but Wen Qing shuts him down, saying she and her brother are there for Sword Wizard School and she’s sorry her cousin is such an asshole. Lan Xichen tells them to ‘try to come on time’ tomorrow. Had I mentioned how awesome Lan Xichen is? It bears repeating.
Ext, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]
Wei Wuxian is making fast friends with Nie Huaisang. They decide to go fishing in one of the streams. He sees Wen Qing sneaking around and asks what she’s doing there. She blows him off.
Meng Yao stops Lan Xichen and says goodbye to him. Lan Xichen asks why he’s leaving so soon, and Meng Yao says that he can’t actually stay for the lectures, since he’s only an assistant to the Nie sect, not a disciple. Lan Xichen tells him that Nie Mingjue (the head of the Nie sect) is just and honorable and will surely reward him for working so hard. They make heart eyes at each other for like a solid thirty seconds before Meng Yao manages to leave.  I’m sorry, I’m trying to be unbiased. They gaze at each other longingly – no, shit, that’s still biased. They, uh, regard each other with mutual respect for thirty solid seconds and then Meng Yao leaves.
Meanwhile Jiang Cheng is Fretting about the fact that Wei Wuxian is Making a Bad Impression. He ain’t seen nothing yet. Jiang Yanli calms him down.
Wen Qing talks to her brother Wen Ning and is sad because he’s sick. She promises him that someday they’ll be able to leave Nightless City.
Int, Cloud Recesses [Gusu]
Lan Qiren is lecturing. Wei Wuxian proposes some casual heresy. Lan Qiren gets mad and tells him to copy the Chapter of Conduct a thousand times, and throws him out of class. Jiang Cheng tries to crawl under his desk.
Instead of going to copy lines, Wei Wuxian wanders off and meets A PUPPY, ie Wen Ning. He is practicing his archery. Wei Wuxian proceeds to help him with his stance and Wen Ning looks like he just discovered his bisexuality. Wen Qing sees them together and is clearly not thrilled. Wei Wuxian asks her why she’s always wandering around the back hills of Cloud Recesses and asks if she’s looking for something. She tells him not to be stupid and leaves with her brother.
Lan Wangji drags Wei Wuxian back to the library for his punishment. Wei Wuxian proceeds to spend the next few hours doing Everything That Is Not That, which culminates in him exchanging Lan Wangji’s book for some porn when he’s not looking. Lan Wangji tears the porn up and tells him to piss off.
~romance~
Jiang Cheng: I hope you’re proud of yourself.
Wei Wuxian: I absolutely am.
They go back to their guest house. Wen Qing is there. She’s a doctor! Told you she was awesome. Jiang Yanli wasn’t feeling well and Wen Qing gave her some medicine. They talk about the fact that there aren’t lectures for a few days because Lan Qiren is off doing Official Stuff.
But there’s still fun to be had! There’s a water demon attacking people in the nearby town. Lan Xichen is worried that it’s serious and he’s going to go himself. Lan Wangji goes with him. Wei Wuxian asks if he and Jiang Cheng can go ‘get some practice’ as they fight lots of water demons in Yunmeng. Lan Xichen, remembering his brother’s obvious crush, says sure. Wen Ning wants to go too. So does Wen Qing. Lan Xichen suddenly feels like a chaperone on a field trip but says fine because he’s the cool older brother.
Wei Wuxian takes the opportunity to ask questions about the not-a-corpse from earlier. Lan Xichen politely tells him that’s it handled and not to worry about it. Wei Wuxian thinks there’s something he’s not telling him, and he mentions that to Lan Wangji, who agrees but won’t say so. Wei Wuxian can tell anyway because he’s learning to read Lan Wangji’s microexpressions.
They fight a water demon. Jiang Cheng gets injured and Wen Qing patches him up. He looks at her with puppy eyes. Some dumbass loses his sword in the water. Wen Ning tries to help him despite being uniquely unqualified to do so, and passes out. Wei Wuxian tries to rescue both of them, and Lan Wangji ends up rescuing all three of them despite clearly wanting to let the water demon eat them. Jiang Cheng buys a comb to give to Wen Qing but chickens out and doesn’t give it to her. Wei Wuxian deduces that Wen Ning’s illness is because of a previous bad experience with ghostly spirits or something, and gives Wen Qing a talisman to give to her brother that will help protect him from monsters. He says that no matter what she’s looking for at Cloud Recesses, he hopes the talisman will help Wen Ning.
Then he tries to buy Lan Wangji some fruit as a gift. Lan Wangji refuses to look at him. Lan Xichen starts mentally writing wedding invitations.
Ext. Nightless City [Qishan]
ENTER AN EDGELORD (sorry I forgot about him, in fact I think this happened earlier but the timing isn’t really important)
Meet Xue Yang. You have no idea who he is. Wen Ruohan is demanding he hand over something called yin iron. Xue Yang’s response to this is basically ‘choke me harder, Daddy’ and you’re left feeling vaguely disturbed.
Int. Cloud Recesses [Gusu]
It’s party time! Wei Wuxian smuggled some liquor back with him. He, Jiang Cheng, and Nie Huaisang get drunk. They give Jiang Cheng a hard time about his high standards for women.
Lan Wangji comes in like the hall monitor you hated in high school to break it up. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang run away. Wei Wuxian uses a talisman on Lan Wangji to keep him from reporting them and make him take a drink of the alcohol. We all remind ourselves very firmly that he is only 16 and will do stupid shit, despite wanting to slap him. Lan Wangji has never had alcohol before and one drink makes him blackout drunk. Wei Wuxian has to babysit him for the rest of the night. Serves him right.
The next day, they’re all in trouble, even Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian tries to tell Lan Qiren that it’s not Lan Wangji’s fault, but Lan Wangji accepts his punishment anyway. They get hit with a stick a bunch of times.
Lan Wangji goes to recuperate in the cold springs. Lan Xichen, the world’s biggest troll, sends Wei Wuxian to do the same. Lan Wangji nearly has an aneurysm when Wei Wuxian tries to start taking his clothes off.
ENTER THE PLOT
They get pulled underwater and end up in a cave. It’s a magic cave where only members of the Lan clan are allowed to be. To keep the cave from killing him, Lan Wangji wraps his Magic Forehead Ribbon around Wei Wuxian’s wrist. This is the same magic forehead ribbon he told Wei Wuxian ten episode minutes ago that only parents, spouses, and children are allowed to touch. Draw what conclusions you will.
There’s a ghostly lady in the cave who is Lan Wangji’s ancestor. She tells them Evil Is Abroad. A long time ago a dude named Xue Chonghai took a bunch of pieces of metal and filled them full of evil energy. Everyone banded together and killed him, but the metal couldn’t be completely destroyed, so it was split into ‘the cardinal directions’ and then sealed and hidden. Ah ha! This is what Wen Ruohan is looking for! It’s called Evil MacGuffin yin iron.
Wei Wuxian says if it’s so powerful, why don’t they use it to fight back? Ghost lady says she tried that but it’s too evil and it doesn’t work. She gives them the piece that was sealed in the cave and tells them to go fight evil together. Lan Wangji is glad it’s too cold to have a boner.
Except then she throws them out of the cave and onto dry land and Wei Wuxian lands on top of him and he definitely gets one from that. Sorry, Lan Wangji, I don’t make the rules.
They’ve been missing for two days and everyone is really upset, especially Jiang Cheng, who thinks Wei Wuxian was just goofing off.
Lan Xichen takes the piece of yin iron they got in the cave and seals it in a pouch. They discuss the fact that Wen Ruohan is clearly collecting the pieces of yin iron and this is Bad News Bears. The yin iron will respond to other pieces of yin iron so they decide they should use the piece they have to locate the other pieces.
But first, classes are over! Despite the fact that each of these events has led seamlessly into the next and it seems like they’ve been there a week, they’ve actually been there six months. If you dealt with the Teen Wolf ‘timeline’ I assume you can deal with that lmao.
There’s a lantern-lighting ceremony to celebrate. Wei Wuxian paints a rabbit on his lantern because there were a bunch of rabbits in the cave and Lan Wangji clearly likes rabbits. This makes Lan Wangji smile for the first time. They all light their lanterns and make a wish.
Wei Wuxian wishes he can stand with justice and live without regrets. Lan Wangji looks at him like he’s about to propose. Wen Qing wishes she could protect her little brother and that he’ll always be safe. Jiang Cheng looks at her like he’s about to propose. Nie Huaisang wishes he can pass his classes and get the hell out of high school. Truly, the most relatable.
But the moment is ruined because people start teasing Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli, asking why they didn’t light a lantern together and wish for a happy marriage. Jin Zixuan, the paragon of reacting reasonably to things, storms off. He tells his sect members he doesn’t want to hear about the marriage and they should stop bringing it up. Wei Wuxian overhears and they get into a fight. Jiang Yanli manages to get Wei Wuxian to back off.
The next day, Wei Wuxian is being punished for punching a jerk in the face. He is kneeling on the rocks of the courtyard. But he’s already gotten distracted because there’s an anthill and he has ADHD. Lan Wangji calls him ‘unteachable’ and stomps off, clearly mad at his boner like usual.
Because this is kind of important, the two sect leaders have showed up to hash it out. Jiang Yanli’s dad says ‘listen, if your son doesn’t want to marry my daughter, we shouldn’t force him’. Jin Zixuan’s dad says, ‘kids are stupid and they don’t know what they want’. Jiang Yanli’s dad says, ‘well I absolutely agree your son is stupid but he’s being a jerk to my daughter so why don’t we politely call this off before something happens that makes one of us impolitely call it off’, and Jin Zixuan’s dad agrees. Jiang Yanli is upset, although why she actually wanted to marry Jin Zixuan is beyond everyone involved, including the audience. Then again it can’t be easy to hear that some dude who has barely even met you has decided you’re not good enough for him.
Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian sees Lan Xichen telling Lan Wangji ‘be careful’ and correctly deduces that Lan Wangji is leaving with the yin iron to try to find the other pieces, while Lan Xichen stays behind to protect Cloud Recesses since the Wen sect thinks it’s still there. He leaves a note that says ‘gone monster hunting, meet you back at home!’ Jiang Cheng nearly has an aneurysm, especially when his dad is like ‘lmao that kid is such a dumbass’.
~end Sword Wizard School~
okay, guys, what did you think? was this helpful? could you follow it? was it at least vaguely entertaining? should I keep going?
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rosemaidenvixen · 3 years
Text
A Secret’s Worth
Chapter 19: Toby
Ao3
Toby's chest hurt so bad it actually felt like someone was literally stabbing him in the heart. Still he didn't slow down, if anything he pedaled even harder. 
The girls were riding neck and neck with him, in just as much of a hurry to reach their destination.
He shouldn’t have flipped out at Jim yesterday. He shouldn’t have thrown back what he knew about the scars on his ankle just because he was pissed. Now this whole thing was ten times worse and it was all his fault.
It had been so hard, watching Jim go home every day for the past month and forcing himself not to say anything, even when Jim started to look more and more anxious every day. But you know who had it even worse? The guy doing the actual suffering.
Toby had heard the phrase victim blaming before, but he never really got it until now. He’d just been so insanely furious hearing Jim yell at them for lying when he hadn’t said an honest thing to them in months, and when they’d been doing everything they could to help him he hadn’t responded right--
The guy’s mom locked him in the basement and slashed up his ankle; what the hell was the ‘right’ way to act after that?
Now Jim was hurt really bad and he’d had to go to the hospital and he wasn’t in school today and he wasn’t answering his phone--
Toby needed to see if Jim was ok.
A throbbing pain that had nothing to do with the strain of pedaling uphill stabbed through his chest.
Or if not ok, alive and kicking.
He skidded to a stop on Jim’s lawn, stumbling off of his bike and running up to pound on the front door “Jim you’ve got about ten seconds to open this door before I’m breaking it down!”
Ok maybe that was the wrong thing to start off with considering he was there to apologize, but Toby would just add it to the list of things to grovel for forgiveness for after he saw that Jim was alright.
And just when he was about to make good on his threat, a hand grabbed his shoulder and started tugging him away. Toby jerked around to see who it was.
“Don’t try to stop me Darci,”
Her expression was soft in a way that made him feel even worse “I’m not, but Toby, I don't think anyone's home. All the lights are off and the car’s gone,” 
He snapped back around, heart plummeting when he saw that she was right. 
Jim and Dr. Lake weren’t here.
“And your Nana’s watching,”
Toby whirled, spotting Phil, one of Nana’s chess buddies, sitting in his car in their driveway with Nana stepping into the passenger seat. He stood there frozen for a few seconds before darting around Darci and sprinting across the cul de sac.
“Nana, wait! Stop stop stop!”
Phil, clearly startled, stopped the car in the middle of the street, Nana rolling down her window and poking her head out “Toby? What on earth is the matter?”
Besides the fact he didn’t want Nana witnessing him busting into Jim’s house, just because Jim had gone radio silent on them didn’t mean that Nana had stopped talking to Dr. Lake. So there was a chance she knew something they didn’t.
He slowed to a stop, panting “Have-- have you- have you heard what’s going on with Jim?”
Immediately her face shifted from confused to contrite “Oh yes Barbara told me, so sad that he got hurt, but he’s doing much better now,”
Toby heard the girls scurry up behind him.
“Do you know when they’ll be home from the hospital?”
“Didn’t Jim tell you?” Nana glanced at Phil, who took the hint and put the car into park before Nana turned and faced them again “They came home about two hours ago, but left for their spring break trip right away, Barbara and Jim won’t be back for about ten days,”
Toby actually felt his jaw drop open.
“B...But…” Claire stammered “Are they seriously going backpacking in Yosemite with Jim being all busted up?”
“I was surprised to, but Barbara said that Jim really didn’t want to miss their vacation, so they’re going to San Francisco and staying in a hotel instead,” the corners of Nana’s mouth tugged downwards into a frown, eyebrows drawing together “Did Jim not tell you any of this?”
Ok she had clearly picked up on the fact that things weren’t ‘Ok’ between Jim and them, and normally Toby would be trying to reassure Nana that everything really was cool, but right now he was too busy concentrating on not puking. 
They were gone. For ten days. Ten whole days Jim and Dr. Lake would be gone.
Plenty of time for another 'animal attack'. 
After an uncomfortably long silence Nana leaned back in her seat and redid her belt “I need to get to my cardiologist appointment now, but we can talk more when I get back,”
With that she nodded at Phil, who looked incredibly uncomfortable, but restarted the car and pulled away, leaving the four of them alone in the cul de sac, with nothing to do but slowly pick up their bikes and trudge into Toby’s garage. 
They’d screwed up. He’d screwed up. He’d screwed up so freaking bad. Yeah Jim was being a gigantic freaking hypocrite about the lying, but his mom locks him in the basement every other Tuesday. Of course the guy wasn’t acting rationally. 
He could still see the terrified look on Jim’s face while they yelled at him yesterday crystal clear.
And just because Jim was being a hypocrite didn’t mean that it wasn’t a dick move to lie to him about calling CPS.
And what they did yesterday….
Toby swallowed back another wave of nausea. Just thinking about what he’d done was enough to make him sick, he wanted to go back in time and smack some sense into himself.
He’d let his anger win out over everything else and started firing back at Jim, and then the girls had followed his lead. Pushing Jim so far over the edge that he went and started a fight with Psycho Steve of all people, who put him in the freaking hospital. Now Dr. Lake had taken him out of town and he wasn’t answering his phone--
His train of thought flew off the rails and crashed to a halt.
Jim and Dr. Lake were gone, and wouldn’t be back for over a week. Which meant that their house was going to be completely empty for that whole time.
Before the idea had even finished forming Toby knew what he had to do.
Immediately after propping his bike up against the wall Toby strode over to the toolbench and grabbed the items he was looking for. A doorstop, an unraveled wire coat hanger, and the biggest pair of bolt cutters Nana had been able to find at Home Depot.
Darci was the first to notice him “What are you doing with all that?”
“Snooping,”
Now Mary and Claire were looking at him to “What do you mean?”
“Jim and Dr. Lake are gone for spring break, and I think we all know that Jim is going to ignore any texts or messages we send. So I’m going straight to the source, I’m going into their house to get some real answers,”
The girls all shared an uncertain look “Toby…” Claire said slowly “You know that if you break in they won’t be able to use anything you find as evidence, right?”
He wilted a little, but tightened his grip on the bolt cutters at the same time “I know, but this might be the only chance to find out what’s really happening to Jim. And if I can figure that out, maybe I can figure out how to get Jim to let us help him,”
Toby turned and then hesitated, dragging the toe of his shoe on the concrete “I won’t ask you guys to come with me, but I need to do this,”
Knowing that if he waited any longer he was going to chicken out, Toby raised his foot and strode out of the garage, making a beeline for the Lake house. After a few seconds he heard footsteps behind him as the girls started to follow.
And even though he knew he’d do this alone if he had to, it felt really really good that he didn’t have to.
Once he got to Jim’s garage, Toby pulled a trash can up to the door and stood on it. Boosting him up high enough to wedge the door stop between the garage door and the frame, reaching in with the coathanger until he snagged the cord and pulled it down within arm’s reach. Cord in hand, Toby yanked until he felt it give, allowing him to slide up the garage door with ease.
Stepping down and picking up the trash can, Toby turned to go put it back when he saw Claire, Darci, and Mary staring at him with big eyes.
“Toby…” Mary said slowly “How did you know how to do that?”
“Oh, uh…” he felt his face heat up “Nana showed me how when Meow Meow PI got locked in our garage, then she made me promise not to tell anyone….so please don’t tell anyone,”
“We won’t but you are going to have to teach us that one,”
Once the trash can was back in place they headed in, Toby pulling the garage door shut behind them “Where should we start?” Darci whispered, even though it was only the four of them in the deserted house.
Toby glanced around, tool bench, picnic coolers, spare fridge, chest freezer-- He froze, eyes locked on the chest freezer pushed back against the far wall. The one that was always kept padlocked for reasons he’d never questioned until now. The only reason he could think of to keep a freezer locked would be--
He shoved the idea away before a picture could form in his head. 
But now he needed to see for himself to make sure that the thought he was desperately trying not to think about wasn’t true.
“Here,” he strode over, and with only slightly shaking hands, cut the metal U of the latch off with two snaps of the bolt cutters, the unopened lock clattering to the floor. It was actually easier than he thought it would be, of course the bolt cutters were ginormous compared to the latch.
The girls gathered in close as he popped the now empty latch and slowly lifted the lid.
First off there weren’t any dead bodies staring back at them, so that was good. It looked like the freezer was just stuffed with regular plastic grocery packages. But why put a lock on ordinary food? Maybe they really were worried about racoons, those were a menace in this neighborhood. 
Despite that perfectly rational, reasonable explanation, Toby couldn’t shake the feeling that something looked off about the food in front of him, something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.
It only took a few more seconds of staring for him to figure it out. He didn’t recognize any of the labels on these packages. And he and Jim had done a lot of grocery shopping together. Jim going on and on about all the subtle differences in flavor between different items and different brands.
That’s how Toby knew with absolute certainty that this stuff wasn’t anything you could buy at any grocery store in Arcadia Oaks. Because in all of their trips shopping together, they’d never bought any of the items in this freezer.
Reaching past him, Claire gingerly picked up something shrink wrapped in blue and yellow plastic “Beef sweetbreads?”
Toby eyed the package suspiciously “Bread doesn’t come from beef,”
“Sweetbreads aren’t bread, they’re organ meat,”
“Ew,”
“Hey they’re actually pretty good when you cook them right,”
Even more curious now, they all started reaching in and rifling through the frozen packages in front of them.
“It looks like this is just a bunch of meat,” Darci said while holding up a bag of beef bones by the corner between her thumb and forefinger.
Mary wrinkled her nose at a package of chicken livers “Yeah, but I’ve never seen Jim cook with any of this stuff,” she peered in Toby’s direction “Have you?”
His mouth went dry, nausea creeping back in “No, I haven’t,”
They kept digging, plastic packs of meat piling up on the floor around them, and the deeper they went the weirder things got. Eventually hitting what looked like whole small animals, cleaned and skinned and sealed in shrink wrap. Toby lifted one of them out, guts squirming in his belly “Guys, what are these?”
Claire leaned over and read off a tiny label on the corner of the package “It says whole rabbit,”
This kept getting freakier and freakier, Jim had never cooked rabbit meat before, let alone roasting them whole. 
Darci and Mary cleared off the rest of the rabbits to uncover a massive package at the bottom, one that would have taken all four of them to lift out, bright red of raw muscle showing clearly against the white of the freezer. But unlike everything else in here, this one had clearly been opened and resealed multiple times, with chunks of meat taken off, proving that someone was taking stuff out of this freezer and using it on a regular basis 
“This one says whole bison leg,” Darci said quietly.
A chill went through him, and not because he was standing in front of an open freezer.
“Oh my god, I just can’t--” Mary darted away, running to the wall farthest away from the freezer and slumping against it, gasping and shaking. Claire immediately ran over and put an arm around her shoulders, leaving Toby and Darci standing in front of the freezer.
“Toby,” Darci’s voice was a monotone, her eyes locked on the frozen leg in front of them “Are you absolutely sure that Jim never cooked with any of this stuff,”
“Positive,”
“Then...what do they do with all this?”
Toby’s stomach shrank in on itself “I don’t know,”
Were they trying to bait racoons or something? It was the only thing Toby could think of, but if they were, why? And he was pretty sure there was a lot cheaper stuff out there they could use for racoon bait. But if they weren’t using it as bait then what they hell were they doing with all this weird meat? And why the lock?
Pulling in a deep breath through her nose, Darci slowly started putting the packages they’d taken out back in the freezer “Ok, we’re not going to find anything else out here, we need to clean up and keep looking,”
Fighting past the painful tightness in his abdomen, Toby grabbed a rabbit and joined her. Claire eventually came over to help them, but Mary stayed far away until the lid of the freezer was shut.
“Um, Toby…” she said, walking back up to join them “How are we going to put the lock back on when you cut it off?”
“Easy,” he walked over to the toolbench and picked up a small bottle “Instant set Gorilla glue,”
And with two quick dabs of glue and Mary holding the pieces for him, the lock and the latch looked nearly as good as new. The latch did look a little funky from where the cutters had gone through, but Toby was pretty sure Jim and Dr. Lake wouldn’t notice it.
Now time to search the rest of the house.
Toby headed through the side door into the main house with the girls just behind him, pausing just inside the hall while he tried to figure out the best place to search first.
“Let’s look in Dr. Lake’s bedroom,”
All three of them slowly turned towards Mary.
“I mean…” her cheeks filled with red “If she’s hiding something chances are it would be in there,”
Claire nodded at that “You’re right, let’s go,”
The girls headed towards the stairs, but Toby hung back. Darci paused at the foot of the stairs, glancing back at him “Everything ok Toby?”
Even knowing what he knew, about the basement and the scars and all the other strange stuff. There was a part of him that still thought of Dr. Lake as….Dr. Lake. His friend’s fun, sometimes goofy mom, the one that took them to theme parks and gave the best presents on birthdays and holidays, who was never too busy to talk and always happy to see him. Going into her room and snooping through all her stuff felt...wrong.
All the girls were looking at him now, seeing what the hold up was.
Toby clenched his jaw and raised his head.
But no matter how bad he felt about it Toby couldn’t let his guilty conscience get in the way. Dr. Lake….Dr. Lake wasn’t who he thought she was, and Jim was in real trouble. This was the only way he could help him. That meant he had to suck it up and follow through.
He’d come this far already.
“Y-- yeah I’m fine, let’s go,” Toby forced his feet to move and followed them up the stairs into the back bedroom. His throat tightening when he saw Mary dive straight into going through her dresser, even as he set aside his tools and got down on his knees to join her. 
They spent nearly two hours going through the room from top to bottom. Searching the closet, every drawer in the dresser, under the bed and in the nightstand, every single nook and cranny in the room, even under the mattress. But they didn’t find anything. Just clothes, jewelry, and books.
Toby glumly replaced the socks back in the drawer he pulled them out of. If there was anything hidden in the house it wasn’t in here. So all they’d managed to accomplish was violating Dr. Lake’s privacy. But if there wasn’t anything in her bedroom then where else would--
“Toby,” Claire spoke up, startling him “Do you know if this house has a crawlspace, or an attic?”
He paused with his hand halfway out of the sock drawer. The Lakes had both a crawlspace and an attic. He’d seen the crawlspace, a small cubby in the basement full of their Christmas decorations, but the attic--
Dr. Lake had only mentioned once that they did have an unfinished attic, even shown him where it was.
And then said that he should never ever go up there.
“Their crawlspace is full of Christmas decorations, but I’ve never seen inside the attic. Dr. Lake said it was off limits,”
That got the girls’ attention.
Mary got to her feet “Where is it?”
“Closet, in the ceiling,”
Immediately they all made a beeline towards the closet, Mary pulling open the doors and revealing the square cut out of the plaster in the ceiling. 
Claire frowned “How is one of us supposed to get up there?”
“I’ll do it guys,” Darci stepped forward, shoulders square and mouth set in a firm line “I’m the tallest, just give me a boost,”
Positioning themselves directly under the hole, Mary and Claire each grabbed one of Darci’s legs and lifted, allowing Darci to push aside the cut out square of ceiling and poke her head into the darkness of the attic beyond.
“A little higher guys, I need to get a good grip to pull myself up,”
Claire and Mary obliged, raising Darci until she was waist deep in the attic, allowing her to kick off from the palms of their hands and vanish into the dark hole. After a few seconds Toby saw a small light, which had to be from Darci’s cellphone, blink on, illuminating the bare wooden beams of the unfinished space. 
“You see anything Darc?” Mary called up at her.
The light bobbed around in the small space above them, ceiling creaking under her as Darci moved around “Nothing so far, there’s a lot of fiberglass insulation so I have to be careful not to…”
All of a sudden the creaks stopped, the light staying frozen in one spot.
“Darci,” Toby forced the strangled word out “What’s going on?”
Things were silent for a few more seconds before they heard her voice again “There’s a box here guys, and it doesn’t look like Christmas decorations,”
With some tricky maneuvering, Darci managed to push the box down the hole, where Toby and Claire caught it. Quickly moving it off to the side so the three of them could catch Darci as she jumped down. Once she managed to untangle herself from them they all turned their attention back to the box.
Toby pushed it out of the closet so there was enough room for all of them to huddle around it. The box was about the size of a microwave, dark metal and surprisingly heavy for its size. It looked like one of those heavy duty water/fire/apocalypse proof boxes, and fortunately it wasn’t locked, meaning they wouldn’t need the bolt cutters. Trembling, terrified of what he might find, Toby popped the latches and lifted the lid. 
Part of him was worried that when they opened it they wouldn’t find anything but boring adult papers, bills and insurance stuff like that, but one look and he knew that wasn’t going to be the case.
Inside were two black bags, a large plastic one and a small felt one, and some kind of weird plastic rectangle. Mary reached in and pulled out the small bag first.
They all watched her tug the drawstrings open, not even daring to breathe as she turned the bag over and dumped the contents out. 
A bunch of loose teeth and a bundle of black hair in a rubber band tumbled onto her hand.
Just when Toby thought this couldn’t get any more confusing “What the hell is all that?”
Claire poked at one of the teeth sitting in Mary’s palm “This looks like stuff from an animal,”
It certainly did. That hair could easily be fur, and those teeth would have been right at home on a bear’s mouth. Big and sharp and clearly from a meat eater.
A locked freezer full of strange meat, animal parts hidden away in the attic. Toby still couldn’t put the pieces together, but it wasn’t shaping up to be anything good.
They spent a good minute staring at them before Mary poured the teeth and hair back in the bag “We aren’t going to learning anything by staring at teeth, let’s keep going,”
Claire grabbed the large bag just as Mary was replacing the small one, setting it in front of her and untying the straps to peer down inside.
Toby crawled closer “What is it? What’s in there?”
“It looks like...bath bombs,”
“What? No way,” Darci scooted up to Claire’s side and glanced down at the open bag “Huh, it does look like bath bombs,”
It took Toby a few seconds to realize they weren’t talking about actual explosives “Bath bombs,” he said incredulously “You mean like those fizzy scented things you put in the tub, those kind of bath bombs?”
Claire got to her feet “Only one way to be sure, follow me guys,,”
They tailed after Claire down the hall into the bathroom, where she promptly started filling the tub. Once there was about a half a foot of water inside she reached into the bag, pulled out a grainy pink ball, and dropped it in the water.
As they gathered in close and watched, a cloud of pink bubbles fizzed up around the sphere, filling the tub with pink foam and the scent of--
“Huh,” Toby sniffed “Roses,”
Mary reached a hand into the water, swirling it around before emerging slightly pink “It looks like they are just bath bombs,”
Ok this was getting really weird. Bath Bombs and animal parts weren’t exactly criminal, but what were they doing locked up in a secret attic box?
For a long time Toby had thought that the curfew and the locking in the basement was because of what Nana told him. That Dr. Lake was so scared of losing Jim she’d started doing some messed up things in order to keep him.
But after learning about the scars he started wondering if that was actually true. And now after seeing the meat and the animal parts and the bath bombs…
It was starting to look like all of this was just scratching the surface of something a lot bigger.
And there was still one more thing to check out.
After draining and rinsing the tub, they all went back to the bedroom and gathered around the box again, where Toby picked up the final item inside it, the plastic rectangle.
He turned it over a few times, trying to figure out exactly what it was when it clicked, filling him with a jolt of exhilaration.
“Guys I think this is some kind of book,”
Books meant data, information. Maybe even the answers behind the bath bombs, teeth, and weird meat.
Mary kneeled down next to him “Can you get it open?”
“I’m trying, but there’s a combination lock, and the thing’s completely sealed so I can’t just bust it open with the bolt cutters without destroying it, and--”
They all jumped as a deafening chime rang through the house.
The doorbell.
Toby’s heart shot up into his throat like lightning, beating hummingbird fast as the bell kept ringing again and again. 
Hearing the sound shattered his focus like a harsh slap, forcing Toby to remember exactly where he was and what he was doing.
He was in someone else’s house.
They’d come in without permission by breaking into the garage. 
They were breaking and entering.
They were committing a crime.
If they got caught it wouldn’t be extra homework or detention they had to deal with.
If they got caught they would get in real trouble.
For the first time Toby knew he wasn’t being melodramatic when he imagined getting arrested and sent to juvie.
Toby shot his head up and saw that the girls had the exact same panicked, horror-stricken looks on their faces that he knew he had on his. From down below the doorbell kept ringing again and again.
The locked book slipped from his hands and fell to the carpet with a dull thunk.
Oh fuck. 
“Guys we need to get out of here now!”
They all simultaneously jumped to their feet, Claire practically throwing the bag of bath bombs back in the box, and after fumbling with it for a few seconds Toby managed to toss the book in after it, Darci slamming the lid shut while muttering ‘oh god’ over and over again.
Frantically dragging the box back towards the closet, they figured out really fast that getting the box up was going to be a lot harder than getting it down, especially considering they were all freaking out. After running around like idiots for a few seconds, they got it together enough to hoist Darci up to the attic again, and then raise the box to where she could grab it and put it back, before dropping down from the attic herself. 
Meanwhile the doorbell continued to ring over and over, each chime practically giving Toby a heart attack, as they raced around the room, replacing items and shutting drawers and removing every trace of their snooping.
“Claire what the hell are you doing!?” Mary hissed.
Toby glanced over to see Claire standing in the doorway staring down the stairs to where the front door was “C’mon Claire we have to hoof it before Jim and Dr. Lake come in!”
“But...why would Jim and Dr. Lake be ringing the doorbell of their own house?”
Toby, Mary, and Darci all stopped dead
Claire was right, if Jim and Dr. Lake were back they’d just come right in without even touching the doorbell. But then who was ringing it? If it was just a salesman or something wouldn’t they leave as soon as they figured out no one was home? Whoever this was had been ringing the doorbell for nearly five minutes with no sign of stopping.
“New plan!” Mary piped up, voice a full octave higher than normal “Sneak out the back, then circle around through the bushes, act like we’re just out walking and see who it is,”
Toby nodded shakily along with Claire and Darci, leave it to Mary to come up with a plan under extreme pressure.
After double checking and making sure they’d gotten rid of all evidence of their break in, Toby grabbed his tools and ran to the stairs “Quick guys, go go go!” 
Not wasting a second the girls scampered down the stairs on light feet, Toby following after, the unrelenting doorbell even louder on the first floor.
They made a beeline for the back door, Toby going out last and locking it behind them. Following them, he ran over to the fence and, in a feat only possible to the insane amount of adrenaline shooting through his veins, hopped it in two bounds and dove into the shrubbery, joining the girls. 
“Everyone ok?” Darci whispered, crouching low in the undergrowth.
“Yeah,”
“Uh huh,”
“Yep,”
It was all Toby could do not to collapse, gasping for breath and quivering all over from equal parts relief and leftover panic. 
They’d gotten away with it. He was pretty sure they’d gotten away with it. No one had seen them and they hadn’t left any evidence behind. Although they hadn’t had time to wipe their fingerprints off of everything, or get rid of their DNA, hopefully Jim and Dr. Lake wouldn’t realize that their house was broken into at all. And even if they did there was no reason for the four of them to be suspects.
They were fine. No one was going to get arrested.
Although now that the adrenaline was starting to fade, Toby was pretty sure he was going to have some wicked bruises from his landing. 
Mary sank lower the the ground, perched on her hands and knees “Keep to the plan guys, let’s sneak around to the other side,”
They all followed her lead, Toby forcing his breathing to slow and become quieter, crawling through the bushes until they emerged on the sidewalk around the corner. Standing and shaking off the leaves and branches, Toby tucking the cutters, hanger, and stopper in a bush to retrieve later. 
“Let’s go,” Mary took the first steps towards Jim’s house. A few months ago Toby would have thought she was completely relaxed about the whole thing, but now he could see just how on edge she was.
Toby walked after her, along with Claire and Darci, trying to be as casual as humanly possible without completely overdoing it. 
Nothing to see here. Just a group of teens out walking around, as teens did. No criminals here.
He had to try especially hard to act normal as they were heading around the corner of the block, breath catching in his chest as Jim’s house, and the mysterious bell ringer came into sight. 
It was some scruffy looking guy, messy looking beard and jeans and a jacket that had certainly seen better days. Not a particularly scary looking guy, but it certainly didn’t look like he was there to sell anything.
Feeling bolder now that they were out in broad daylight and not at risk of being caught mid-felony, Toby came right up to where the front steps met the sidewalk, the girls stepping up next to him, with scruffy standing less than ten feet away. Fidgeting and pressing the bell every ten seconds or so, face crimped in frustration.
Of course this close they should have realized it was inevitable that the mysterious scruffy man was going to notice them.
“Oh hey!” he jogged across the porch towards them, causing them all to shuffle backwards involuntarily “You kids know the people who live here?”
“Why do you want to know?” Mary said warily
“Oh-- I heard from my buddy that CPS has been sniffing around, and Barb took Jim out of the hospital without checking him out yesterday, so I’m trying to see if they’re ok,”
Instantly uneasy, Toby glanced over at the girls, the three of them looking just as tense as he felt. The whole leaving the hospital without being checked out was news to him and definitely not good. But even more alarming was the fact that although this guy apparently knew Jim and Dr. Lake, Toby had no idea who he was. And by the looks of it, neither did Darci, Claire, or Mary.
“So do any of you know when they’ll be back?”
Claire took half a step forward “Sorry but...who are you again?”
“Oh! Well I…” scruffy trailed off, letting out a gusty breath and running hand through his hair “You see I’m--” all of a sudden he cut off and looked over at them sharply, Toby flinching as the man locked eyes with him.
“Toby! Come on, you know me, right bud?”
His heart stopped, blood running cold. From the corners of his vision he could see the girls pull around him protectively “Who are you, how do you know my name?”
“Come on,” the man grinned, as if they were all old buddies “You know me, from back when I used to live here,”
Toby just kept staring at him blankly. Used to live here? The only person he could think of that used to live here was--
No. It couldn’t be.
He looked at him again, really looked, comparing the shape of the jaw, the scraggly beard to the ones from his murky, half faded memories.
“Hang on,” Toby slowly raised a finger to point at the stranger who might not be a stranger “You mean that you’re--”
“That’s right,” he flashed them a smile, painfully familiar now that he could see the resemblance “I’m Jim’s dad,”
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