#i think i have tagged everything correct but pls yell at me if i missed something !

[isolvtes]

(   AVAN JOGIA.  CISMAN.  HE/THEY  )   ⸺   Ꮺ  ⋆   greetings, buffalos !  walking around campus, sporting his DARK UNDER-EYE CIRCLES. we’ve spotted JACE DESAI,  a thirty year old who contributes to our thriving community as a BARTENDER. according to our intel, they’ve been around the sanctuary for SIX YEARS and what we know about him, aside from the fact that they DON’T agree with the decision to close the gates, is that he’s accidentally become something of an unofficial handyman around boulder simply because he doesn’t know how to say no to anybody ; he’s a huge metalhead and rock lover, if he’s not singing aloud to himself, he’s tapping his foot or humming along to something in his head ; one of jace’s many passions is art and they had a slight graffiti habit before the outbreak and loved painting murals around their city. now he’s a bit more limited in what he can play with, but he tries to get creative with different things when he can. doesn’t that make them fantastic ?  we think it does, and that’s why we appreciate them so much, grateful for what they give to our community.

STATISTICS.

name: jace desai

dob: may 3rd 1993

age: 30

height: 5'9

hometown: regina, saskatchewan

role: bartender

sexuality: pansexual

star chart: taurus sun, libra moon, cancer rising, aries venus

personality stats: aang (avatar the last airbender), will turner (priates of the caribbean), jack dawson (titanic), debora (baby driver), nick miller (new girl)

types: enfp, sanguine

family: henry desai (father, deceased), annie desai (mother, deceased), mark desai (brother, deceased), lily desai (sister, deceased), lia desai (sister)

HISTORY.

tw death, injuries, blood, guns

jace has been at boulder for six years, ever since he arrived with his younger sister. they were in canada when the outbreak began, originally a family of five: him, his mom and his three siblings. they lost their mom first, shot by some asshole looting the store. it felt worse that way, that she was taken by a human, not some monster or rabid disease. the four siblings mostly hid out for the start of it, unsure what to do or where to go and it was safer that way. but soon their stomachs were screaming, they were cold and fatigued, and they needed a plan. slowly making their way south, to anywhere that was safe or anywhere with food and warmth, they did quite well at staying out of conflict or danger for the most of it. the brothers sacrificed most of their meals for their sisters, waited up all night while they slept to ensure their protection, but they couldn't do it forever. they were getting weaker by the day, unsure just how far any help was, and verging on hopeless. until they started finding markings painted on walls for lost souls like them to stumble upon and direct to safety, hearing tales about a campus in colorado that's secure and alive. of course they had to go.

it didn't take long before a dozen or so of the infected had swarmed them. with a sister flung on both boy’s back, the siblings tried to rush to safety, only for jace to slip on some rubble and tumble down when a canid tried to swipe at him. his leg takes most of the damage, torn up by shattered glass in the dirt. a stupid mistake, one that would surely have cost both his and his sister's life had his brother not shoved in front of the infected trying to latch on to jace. they promised they'd never leave each other, but mark was demanding it, already scratched up by the monster,  bite marks sunk into his skin as he fights with the rest of his life to keep the beast back, but others are coming quick. jace doesn't remember exactly what his brother said, he just sees his face, mouth opening and closing with words that he doesn't register, then suddenly they echo.  ‘ take them and run ! ’

jace was struggling to move quickly, his leg throbbing in pain with his sisters either side, trying to help drag his weight. eventually they found a small hole in a wall, covered with wooden planks and stained sheets, for them to hide in while jace recovered. the recovery was slow, the wounds were open and unclean, eventually becoming infected in a matter of days and jace catching a fever. the sisters were adamant they needed to leave him to find supplies.  they were smaller and could fit through spaces he couldn't, but jace didn't want to send them out to their deaths for him, he'd be content to die if it meant they didn't risk it, especially with what happened to their brother. despite this, the girls secretly decided to sneak out one day while jace was knocked out, in too much pain to fight his fatigue. the girls got back, but barely. lily had been grabbed, scratched up and bitten by a canid in her attempt to get out. it didn't take long for his sister's cries to wake him, confused how the girl he had last seen peacefully sleeping was now screaming in fear for what the next few days meant for her and what she'd become. they were going to figure it out, cross that bridge when it came to it— but the next morning she was gone. jace and lia waited it out there for a few more days, he was still recovering and they didn't want to leave in case lily came back. they never saw her again.

two final two desai siblings eventually made it to boulder, almost giving up more times than they could count. it took them a while to settle on being settled, so used to needing to move and stay on the go to survive, but soon they realised they had found a new family.

jace dabbled in a number of different roles around campus before settling in as a bartender. he still does dabble a bit, helping out where he can and unable to say no, but the bar is practically his home.

PERSONALITY.

jace has lost almost everyone in his life, but he does still have his sister and she's honestly his last piece of hope in this big mess. so he does tend to stay strong for her and keep a bright light somewhere within him. he's as active as he can be in the community, always offering his help and lacking the ability to say no when people ask. if he had nothing, he'd still find a way to help someone else.

that being said, he can be a sarcastic little pain in the ass when he wants to be, and is forever annoyed he never got to go to college and party it up.

MISC THINGS.

carves little wood sculptures, sketches with ash and dirt, makes wreaths and bouquets from any spare sticks with plants and flowers - gifts them for ppls bdays !

tries to see the beauty in things and if he can't, he'll try to make it 

very convinced he can communicate with birds

the type to be overly self critical and pessimistic but as soon as someone else says anything negative about themselves, he's suddenly a self help coach. same with dumb decisions, he will make a thousand but try to prevent anyone else doing anything stupid ever

has only ever killed out of necessity but it still feels too much, thinks his soul is stained

your personal 3am advice giver (don't take it)

his favourite drink is an espresso martini but he'll always lie about it

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

ngl.. no idea. everything.

regulars at the rainstorm who have confided in him, maybe too much, maybe he got just as personal... maybe they disagreed, maybe they kissed, who kNoWS!

he's been here six years so i feel like he should definitely have a best friend, someone who's possibly been there just as long or longer ?? if longer, maybe they were a big part of him settling in at boulder or like a first friend !

failed relationships / ex hook ups 🤭 listen.. anything messy, angsty, toxic, wrong timings... i will take everything !!

people he does not get along with... for whatever reason... idk... i think jace is very much against the gates closing bc he feels like no one would obviously be here if they were shut, so it feels hypocritical even though he gets the precaution and concerns. so maybe someone he clashes with on that, or something else... big or small, im so open !!

#blood tw #death tw #fireguns tw #injuries tw #this is a lill long... so i didnt proof read lol sorry #i think i have tagged everything correct but pls yell at me if i missed something ! #survivors.intro

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | three

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed later on) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)

words: 2.0k

warnings: hoe-ish thoughts / implied sexual content, cussing, mentions of death/car accident, your friends being extra like always

notes: flashback scene towards the last half of the chapter. start and end of flashback will be indicated!

tags: @laurynne5​, @yiyi4657​, @bluesharksandfish​, @miinoongi​ @teamtardis-notdead​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

It was a cold morning, with the wind slowly picking up, bringing the clouds over from across the bay. You grabbed yourself a cup of coffee and sat on a table near the food cart on campus, finishing up your last items on your to-do list for work. You didn't wanna sit in the office for remainder of the day, and luckily, your job gave you that flexibility. You rubbed your hands together, hoping it could provide some relief to the cold taking over. You were too lazy to make your move at this point, and Mr. Kim's [or shall we say Jin since we aren't in a classroom right now] class wasn't too far away from where you were sitting. It'd be an easy, breezy walk.

Your brain felt foggy; even though you didn't have much left on your to-do list, you couldn't seem to focus and you knew why. Chance's death anniversary was coming up, and it was always something you dreaded. You wish you could skip the day and continue on with the week without having to revisit shit like this. Your friends are your biggest support systems, but they too, have their own lives to tend to. And as much as they tried to physically be there for you, sometimes it just didn't end up happening that way.

"Miss Y/N, are you doing alright?" You looked up to see Jin standing in front of you, a concerned expression plastered on his face while he held his cup of coffee.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Just spaced out trying to get things done for work."

"No need to apologize. I feel that, 100%." He chuckled. "Mind if I sit for a minute?" You shook your head and moved your things closer to you so he had some room for himself. "Glad to see you got home in one piece."

"Sure did." You smiled at him, tilting your head slightly to get a good look at his handsome ass face while he brings up his foot to rest on his knee. Honest question: is it ever too early for hoe thoughts to make an appearance?

Did I put on deodorant today?

"You work nearby?" He sipped on his coffee and glanced at you.

"Yeah, I work for a cloud-based software company as a project manager. Sometimes, I'll help chime in with graphic design projects too, if I'm not too swamped." He nodded.

"That's pretty amazing."

"What about you? I assume this isn't your only gig." He chuckled.

"You're right, it's not. I, uh-" He paused. "I'm a CFO for a tech company in the city." Your eyes widened. Handsome, and a fucking boss? You have got to be kidding me.

"W-wow. Holy shit." You quickly shook your head and shut your eyes in embarrassment. "Sorry, holy crap." You corrected your previous statement.

"Y/N, I don't care if you cuss." He laughed. "I'm a 30 year old man who still finds the need to slip it in between every other word when I'm not in class."

"Sorry, just— holy fuck. I wasn't really expecting that, but good on you!"

"What do I look like to you? Honest question."

"Oh, I mean. I just thought you worked in business or something like that. As someone important, but not that important. I-I mean—"You sighed and pursed your lips into a fine line. "You know what I mean, I hope."

"I think I do, don't worry." He smiled, feeling slightly amused with how cute you were acting.

"You must be really busy all the time."

"Mm, no actually. I do have quite a few meetings and deadlines to reach but other than that, it's not too bad." You rested your chin on the palm of your hand. "Are you from here?"

"I am, born and raised. Are you?" He shook his head and slightly pouted.

"I moved here a couple of years ago from Seattle when my fiancé Grace started to get serious about her cooking. She wanted to open her first restaurant here."

"Oh, that's neat. She's a chef?" Stupid question, but you weren't sure how else to keep the conversation going about his soon-to-be wifey.

"Yep. She's a wonder woman, for sure." He pauses to sip more of his coffee. "Do you have family members that live around here?"

"Yeah I do, my parents live about 30 minutes away from here. I go and visit them when I can. But sometimes, I get too occupied with work and school that I just long for time to myself. Being 25, you'd think I could handle more but I'm still learning how to balance my time, I guess." He nods. He's a little relieved to hear you aren't that far off in age, to be honest. He wasn't sure if he was being weird harmlessly getting to know his students. He genuinely wanted to build relationships with them so they didn't think he was a professor they couldn't turn to. However, when it came to you, he couldn't help but feel slightly captivated. He was impressed with the way you carried yourself, down to how you'd participate in class and how you didn't come off like a student who hated every fucking professor they came across in their academic career. He appreciated the tiny details. "Not gonna lie though, I do get a little homesick whenever I don't get to visit for awhile, even though they don't live far. Truly makes me appreciate having my friends around."

"Ryujin, Taehyung and Jimin? No siblings?" He asks. Impressive. He paid attention.  Although, it's definitely not hard to figure out when you four were constantly [for the most part] stuck at the hip.

"Yup, those punks. I'm the only child so they've become family to me." You smiled hearing your friends' names. They honestly meant the world to you, and you weren't sure where you'd be without them.

"That's sweet. It's good to have people like that on your side of the court."

There was silence for a moment, with Jin looking at you over the rim of his cup, while you tried your hardest to keep yourself together. You felt the heat radiating throughout your body the longer you kept your gaze on him, the tension slightly building. You were a little relieved he didn't bounce the question back about your love life or anything regarding the matter. You almost feel guilty that you're digging pretty deeply into this situation yet again, but you felt comfortable with the way the conversation was going and the energy he was exuding.

"I, um--" You pause as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. He keeps the same gaze on you, almost like he's trying to figure out what you'll say next by reading you and your body language. "I hope--"

"Y/N!" You hear Taehyung's deep ass voice yell for you from behind. "Oh fuck, sorry dude. Am I interrupting something?" To be quite frank, you were happy Taehyung interrupted when he did because you were just about to tell Jin how good he looked, respectfully, of course. You were going to keep it PG and comment on the tie he was wearing and how the pattern complimented him and the rest of his outfit.

"No, not at all." Jin chuckles. "We were just wrapping up, I have to get going." He stands and smiles at the both of you. "See you both in class soon."

"Peace out, Mr. Kim." Taehyung throws up the peace sign like a dumbass as you both watch him take his exit and walk towards his classroom.

"Peace out, Mr. Kim? Really, Tae?"

"I mean, he seems cool enough for me to do that, don't you think?" You shake your head and continue finishing up your work on your work laptop. "What was that about? Are you in trouble already? What'd you do?"

"Why do you have like, so much fucking energy right now?"

"I downed two redbulls before I got here."

"You're an idiot."

"Me and Jimin were up all night hunting."

"I stand corrected— you both are idiots." Taehyung clicks his tongue before raising his eyebrow, manspreading and leaning back into the chair.

"So, what was that really about?"

"We just had a chat!"

"Sure. You both were definitely eye-fucking each other. It was weird to walk into."

"Not everyone is like you, trying to fuck everything they see." You rolled your eyes. "He had just sat here for a minute and we talked about work and where we were from."

"Okay." He snorts and shrugs.

"You're being so dramatic. It was harmless."

"Definitely looked otherwise."

"You weren't even here for the majority of our conversation?"

"Didn't have to be, sweetheart." He winked, playfully caressing your chin. "Your secret is safe with me."

"You are so full of shit. I don't know how I've dealt with you for so long."

"Who's so full of shit?" Ryujin comes strolling along, with a tired Jimin who was sipping on an iced americano. He wore a cap and sunglasses with sweats and a fitted crewneck, looking like he just rolled the fuck out of bed.

"Taehyung, who else?" You both stood up to start slowly walking towards Mr. Kim's classroom. "Are you okay, Chim?" You asked, genuinely worried about him, but also trying to change the subject.

"Tired. Just tired." He shakes his head, lowering his the brim of his cap even more. "This dumbass kept messing up our hunt last night."

"I didn't mess anything up, you just weren't clear on the directions." Jimin smacked him upside the head. "And Y/N's just mad I caught her and Mr. Kim on a date." Ryujin gasped, while Jimin choked on his iced americano and coughed trying to get himself together.

"Excuse me, come again?" Ryujin squeezes your arm, causing you to slightly wince in pain before you can shake her off.

"Tae, really?" You rolled your eyes. "It wasn't a date! He just sat with me for a minute and we talked for a little bit. That's literally it."

"You forgot the part where you both were eye-fucking each other when I came along."

"What the fuck is even going on right now?" Jimin finally chimed in, making you sigh deeply.

"We were not!" You pushed Tae. "You're such an instigator."

"First, helping you with your groceries, now this? I didn't think you had it in you, girl! Actually pursuing an engaged professor." Ryujin joked, making herself laugh out loud. Jimin is now walking alongside of you, while Taehyung throws his arms around both you and Ryujin, swinging his big ass head back and forth between the both of you.

"He helped you with groceries last night? What?" Jimin is honestly so confused and is unable to keep up with the chaotic conversation.

"Look, I just ran into him at Trader Joes and he offered to bring my groceries to my car since it was getting late. And today, we just ended up talking for a little bit. That's it. Can we drop this?"

"Mr. Kim has the hots for Y/N!" Ryujin teased.

"That's it. I'm going to find new friends." You shrugged. "Unbelievable." Did they not listen to one word you just said?

"You should go for it and have fun." Taehyung winked.

"No, no. She shouldn't go for him or do anything." Jimin states loud and clear, making sure he grabs both Ryujin and Taehyung's attention by waving his hand in the air.

"Ah, come on Chim, it's just a little fun."

"Ry." Jimin says sternly.

"Okay, kidding." She rolls her eyes.

"This is getting so out of hand." You say as you all approached the door to Mr. Kim's classroom.

"Hey Mr. Kim." Ryujin waved her hand playfully, followed by Jimin and Taehyung who simply nodded and gave him a toothless smile. He happily returns her greeting, then flashes a small smirk as you pass him while arranging the papers on the front desk.

"Hmph." Ryujin smirks. "Told you so." You roll your eyes.

Chance's death anniversary arrives quicker than you'd like, causing you to pick yourself up and force yourself to get on with the day whether you like it or not. After work, you quickly visited his grave at the cemetery, balling your eyes out as you spend quite awhile sitting in silence, staring at his photo on the tombstone. Every memory, every good and bad moment that you shared with Chance flashed right before your eyes.

It was irreplaceable.

[ start flashback ]

"So, who would you want next to you if the end of the world was coming?"  You kept your gaze on the 'List of questions to ask your significant other' photo on your phone.

"What kind of morbid question is that?" Chance laughed as he continued to hug you tightly while you laid on his chest. "You, of course."

"Aw, thanks bebe. Same here."

"Are there any happy questions in there?" He scrolled down the list. "Like this one - what's the cutest thing your partner has ever done for you?"

"When we had dinner on a boat and you sang to me and everyone else having dinner." You laughed.

"Yeah, that was pretty cute wasn't it?"

"Shut up." You playfully covered his mouth. "Your turn."

"The cutest thing you've done? I don't know sweetheart, you've done a ton of cute things. I'd have to say you waking up next to me. It reminds me how real you are." You smiled and pecked him on the lips.

"I love you, chance."

"I love you too." He says almost at a whisper while caressing your chin. He was pulled out of the moment when his phone rang. "Ayo." He says. You watch as his facial expression changes. "For fuck's sake man, alright. Hang tight, I'll be there. Yo, don't be stupid and drive home drunk. I'm about to leave, okay? Your ass better be there by the time I get there." He sighed as he hung up the phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Josh is drunk as hell. I'm gonna go pick him up before he does something stupid."

"Can't he find a ride there?"

"Everybody left him. I can't just leave him there."

"I know, but--"

"It's gonna be fine, okay baby? I promise. I'll be back before you know it."

"Alright." You sighed. "Be safe, please."

"I will."

[ end flashback ]

When you finally arrived at school, you checked out your appearance to make sure you looked decent enough to get through class. You were hoping your psychology classes would go by quickly, just so you could get out of there and feel less suffocated.

"I'm sorry I can't come over." Ryujin pulls you into a tight hug and caresses your back. She had planned to spend time with you, but her sister called her last minute to ask if she could babysit her niece until late night. "But let me know if you need me, okay? I don't care if it's 1AM, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Same. I'll do what I can to get out of this family thing." Jimin gives your arm a gentle squeeze. Jimin's family was visiting from Korea on a whim, so he had been pulled into some family festivities for the evening.

"Look, you guys. I'll be fine, okay? Don't worry about me. You know I love you both no matter what, do what you need to do."

"I'll text you when I'm on my way?" Taehyung is the only one who is able to spend time with you tonight, after he helps his younger brother with a project. You simply nodded before you split ways with your group and headed for the library. You were going to stick around and do some work at the library until Taehyung was free because there was no way you were going to go home alone, feeling the way you were feeling. You weren't going to get anything done, and you weren't going to have the energy to pull yourself together.

Today was heavy.

The library wasn't any better for you because your thoughts seemed to be louder in such a huge, quiet space. You were looking at the clock time and time again, hoping Taehyung would text you, letting you know he'd be on his way with tons of dessert and wine. Just cause that's what you wanted, right at this moment.

You sighed and cracked your neck from side to side, getting yourself into Steph Curry "Lock in" mode so you can push through your assignments that needed to get done. But, it just didn't happen that way. You were becoming frustrated and restless, so you quickly packed up your things and shoved them into your bag before walking out. The campus was lit with street lights, with barely any students walking around. It felt a little eery, but the walk to the lot wasn't too bad being that the garage was well-lit, with security guards on every level. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, causing you to try and reach for it even though you were hauling the rest of the books that didn't fit in your bag. Next thing you knew, you had your phone, but your books had fallen to the floor, the papers stuffed in them falling out and getting wet from the wet grass next to the concrete walkway.

"Fuck!" You groaned to yourself as you quickly glanced at Taehyung's 'be there in about 30 minutes or so' text and bent down to pick up your mess. You really had no reason to cry over this shit, but all of the pent up frustration and emotions you had been feeling today pushed you over the edge. You aggressively wiped your tears away as you stuffed your wet papers back into the books and stacked them on top of each other.

"Y/N?" You look up to see Jin, tears still falling from your eyes. "Are you alright?" He bends down to help you gather your books, towering over you as he gathers the majority of your things.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." You slyly wiped your tears once more as you grabbed the books from him.

"Hey." He placed his hand out to prevent you from walking any further. You look up at him, watching as he dips his head down to examine your face, your eyes still wet and glossy from the tears. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Look, I'm fine and I don't wanna take time away--"

"You clearly aren't." His expression fills with worry. "And you aren't going to be taking time out of my evening." He finishes your statement for you. You sigh and close your eyes as your head dips lowly.

"It's just been a tough day, that's all."

"Let's talk about it." You look up at him as he nods for you to follow him to a bench near the parking garage. "Come on. I really won't forgive myself if I went home without trying to help." You silently follow him and place your things down before sitting. He sits next to you, with enough space placed between your position and his. "What's on your mind, Y/N?"

"Um." You pause and look at him. "On this day 3 years ago, I lost the love of my life to a car accident." You wiped your tears in between words. Jin's expression softened as he watched you break down in front of him, his heart breaking seeing you in pain like this. He wanted to do everything in his power to comfort you, hoping it would relieve some of the pain even though he knew it was something that would forever be embedded in you. But if he could provide any relief, then that would make him feel a little better.

[ start flashback ]

"It's been close to two hours, where the hell is he?" You said as you looked at your phone, sitting on the couch as you, Ryujin, Taehyung and Jimin watched a movie. Suddenly, breaking news flashed through the screen, cutting the movie to another commercial break earlier than expected.

"Breaking news - a white Lexus sports car and a Ford truck were involved in a head-on collision early this morning on Highway 101."

"O-oh my god." Ryujin says, as they look at the totaled cars. The Lexus was completely sandwiched at the median, while the truck was wrecked, but still stood in one piece off to the side.

"T-that's Chance's car." You said as you put your drink down on the coffee table to take a closer look at the car.

"Y/N, I'm sure Chance is fine and is on his way back." Taehyung chimed in from behind you.

"N-no." You stuttered, the feeling of despair in the pit of your stomach growing bigger by the minute. "N-no, I know his car."

"We might just be overthinking this." Jimin says, gently grabbing your wrist to pull you back down onto the couch, but you continued to stand.

"There was said to be one intoxicated passenger in the white Lexus, who is in critical condition and is being taken to the nearby trauma center. The driver of the truck was also intoxicated and injured, but is expected to survive. However, the driver of the white Lexus was pronounced dead at the scene." All of a sudden, you felt weak and dizzy because you just knew. You knew Chance wasn't okay, and you knew he wasn't on his way back to you. Soon after the news announcement, loud knocks came at the door. You looked back at your friends before making your way to the door, revealing two police officers standing before you. At this point, you felt like your entire life had been sucked out of you as you fell onto the floor, crying loudly while your friends tried their best to comfort you and speak to the officers for you. All you could remember hearing was the "i'm sorry's" from both police officers before everything turned into white noise. Everything felt numb.

[ end flashback ]

"I am so sorry, Y/N. I know my apologies are going to do much to ease the pain, but please know that I'm here for you whenever you need someone to talk to. I wanna do what I can to provide some relief." Is all Jin says as you continue to divulge about that night's details.

"You know," You looked up at the moon. "It's been 3 years, but it feels like it just happened yesterday. The pain always feels so fresh and it still feels so painful to think about it. It used to make me question why I was so deserving to continue living my life. I'm not an angel, I haven't been perfect. You know? Yet, someone who was so close to perfect, someone who was always so selfless and never hesitated to put others before himself was taken away from this world so easily? How did Josh survive, but Chance didn't? He was just going to help his friend out because he didn't want anything to happen to him, yet he ended up getting the short end of the stick. I was so mad." You shook your head. "I was so mad at Josh for awhile. I never understood and I still don't. I still don't fucking understand this." Your tears fell as you looked back at Jin.

"I can only imagine. There's things we'll never understand and quite frankly, it fucking sucks. But, I really don't want you to beat yourself up over this. I'm sure Chance wouldn't want you to, either. A lot of things happen for a reason, whether we like it or not, and it's hard to look at it in a different perspective. He's still with you, all the time. You're strong, and he knows this."

"I just don't know how I did this without him. It hurts so bad."

"I know, and it's okay to let yourself ride it out. Don't try and suppress the feelings just because you feel the need to act strong. If you don't let yourself process these feelings, it'll never get easier. It's okay to not be okay." He nods reassuringly. You smile at him toothlessly before sighing and getting yourself together. Although it had been quite the day, you felt a little relieved being able to talk to Jin about what's been going on. You felt a little more put together than you did earlier in the day and that's all that mattered. Baby steps.

"Is it okay if I give you a hug?" You asked shyly. You didn't know how else you could thank him for listening to you. You were sure he had tons of things on his plate, yet he still took time to sit with you out in the cold just to make sure you were okay. He chuckles and stands, his arms wide open, ready to envelope you. You wrap your arms around his torso, taking in his scent and breathing him in. He gently rubs your back before you pull away and smile up at him.

"I'll take a hug any day."

"I hope Grace won't be upset with you for coming home a little later than expected."

"She'll be fine. She's at the restaurant working late." His lips were pulled together in a fine line.

"Thank you again." You pull out your phone to check the time. 30 minutes from the last time Taehyung texted you was almost up, so you felt the need to get going sooner than later.

"It's not a problem." He puts his hand out, signaling for your phone. "Do me a favor and just let me when you get home, though? I'd feel better knowing you're safe and sound." You nod and hand him your phone. You knew you couldn't get wrapped up in whatever this was, no matter how flattered you were from the attention you were getting from him. He was still engaged, and he was still planning a life with Grace. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin that for someone genuine like Jin.

But God, was he making it difficult for you.

"I can do that."

"Thanks." He smiles toothlessly at you. "If you're ever in need of company or someone to talk to, don't hesitate to let me know. I'll be there in a heartbeat."

"Okay." You grabbed your things before walking away. Jin stood there, watching you walk deeper into the garage, feeling good about having been there at the right time. Something as simple as the hug you gave him had his thoughts running wild, just feeling your touch and your body against his. Albeit, it could be the lack of attention between him and Grace causing him to feel this way, but it was enticing all at the same time.

You were enticing.

And he could pick up on your little habits that made him want to know more. The way you'd look at him inside and outside of class. The way you always dressed so nicely when you had to take his class. The way you passed closely to the front desk, allowing him to take in your scent. The way you and your friends acted around him, knowing they were teasing you.

He knew, and he also knew what he was doing when he put his number in your phone.

He gets home and just as he mentions, Grace is still out at the restaurant working late. He kicks his shoes off to the side and heats up some leftovers to eat before retreating up to the master bedroom to call it a night early. As he's getting out of his clothes from today and heading into the shower, he notices his phone vibrating on the bathroom countertop, signaling a text.

[unknown number] 9:37pm: Hi, I'm safe and sound at home. :)

He smiles to himself before responding and heading into the shower.

[jin] 9:38pm: :) Goodnight Y/N, see you tomorrow.

#bts #bts fanfiction #kim seokjin #seokjin #jin #bts jin #jin smut #seokjin smut #bts imagines #kim seokjin fanfic #kim seokjin x reader #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #bts au #bts au fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #bts smut #seokjin fluff #seokjin angst #jin fluff #jin angst #kim seokjin series

[btswishes]

Love me for who I am now

Bucky x Reader ( Chapter 3)

Previous / Next (4)

Summary: You apply for the Stark internship and end up getting it, so now you have 5 months to make a good impression to continue working with the Avengers.

A/N: Ok Chapter 3 here we go, things are moving 10 000+ words later XD. Sorry for any mistakes made, hope you enjoy it even a tiny bit.

Word count:  3,997

Warmings: fights, harsh language, not part of the original MCU

Y/N- Your name

Y/L/N- Your Last Name

Tag list: @vicmc624​

                                    ----------------------------

   Two men dressed in dark fancy suits helped Captain America sit on the bench next to Dr. Banner, while one more presumably, also an agent rolled in 2 stretchers. From the voices you could distinguish Natasha Romanoff and Sergeant James Barnes. Not too far, with a confidant step followed Tony Stark keeping the splint around his left hand, covered slightly by the expensive material of his jacket - throw casually over his shoulders. Poor Pepper having her husband come home almost dead all the time- must be just awful.

“What happened?” Bruce barked out intensely checking Natasha in a hastily manner, making sure there wasn’t anything too major

 “HYDRA fed us the wrong information, long story short caught the link in time and no one died.” Tony explained, pulling a squished protein bar from the inside of his pant pocket

“I almost saw the light for a second time Tony.” Captain hissed when you began disinfecting his wounds, reacting to the cold cooling yet irritating feeling of the clear liquid on the cotton ball.

“I am sure that was the explosion.” Natasha snickered at the blond man. ”Next time don’t look at it, ok?” One after the other injured agents flooded the lab making motion difficult. Most of the equipment was on the other end of the packed room. Talking and a mix of incoherent sounds filled your head, causing you to go into overdrive. You had no idea how people could work in such an environment. Hospital work was part of your curriculum, as weird as it sounded, since you were dabbling in human body functions. Even there you never had so many people on your head, there was order- obviously lacking here.

  Some were very badly injured, near-death was a correct way to say it, but for sure not 90%. Looking around you couldn’t find a shorter way towards the bandages and irrigation solution. Tables and people were placed like chess pieces in a game you were losing because of panic. Tony kept his eyes on you, biting down on the crumpling snack, waiting to see what you would do. It could have been all a test for what you knew, yet it flew over your head.

“Dr. Banner.” You yelled out patching up the Cap and moving onto one of the stretchers “Can you pass me the small bag behind you please?” he nodded and did it all without even taking a look away from Natasha’s wounds. Professional or just slightly overconfident?

  Rising your right hand you caught the bag making its way towards you. The flap flung open and you pulled out the 4 bottles of vibranium dust onto the table, right next to you. A hair tie emerged from the same place shortly after. Bucky looked up at the changing expression on your face, interested in silence maybe also in a bit of pain. Your fingers raked up your scalp, gathering as much hair as possible to imprison with the elastic. Tony ever so silent but focused, a good judge of character.

  The lids of the bottles rolled onto the desk, discarded without a thought. Your hands cupped all of them and spilling piles of metallic dust on the floor. Stark rose an eyebrow and stopped chewing for a second. Taking a deep breath the oxygen gathered all your thoughts into an anxiety suppressing pill, shooting in waves through your bloodstream. You didn’t waste any time, your eyelids swung up letting your lashes almost hit your brows. Both your elbows bent in, positioning themselves next to your waist line snugly. You could feel your back muscles clench and tighten before extending. They shot your arms to the sides, dust cloud forming two plates pushing agents to the side. 

“SILANCE!” the room granted your wish, even the atoms could be heard moving with the shock engulfing the field “This is a lab NOT a playground! If you are able to cause such ruckus you aren’t hurt enough to be here. If any of you insist on doing this, I will give you a reason to scream. If you are patched up leave! Got a paper cut or bruise- leave! Unless you crawl to me, I don’t want to see you.” hunched over your body didn’t move from its metal bending pose, arms spread like a bird in flight, eyes looking forward “Now, out.” the words vibrated fearless in your throat

  It wasn’t surprising that almost all people in black suits left in a rush, accept some that were actually getting treated from the mission. Sergeant Barnes was still laying on the stretcher waiting for his turn, taken back from the scene that unraveled above him. Almost in a Dr. Strange hand motion you pulled the vibranium back.

  The silence continued making your confidence evaporate and let the anxiety condensate back into you. Eyes roaming around the room till a loud and audible clap pulled the strings of your head towards it. Tony was doing his best not to mess his arm up more, but to him this deserved praise.

“Well done Miss inter, I am pleasantly surprised with your actions…” his footsteps creeped up, letting his body lean onto Bucky’s current bed, ignoring the man’s grunt of discomfort “…and that.” his finger made circles pointing at your arms covered with the metallic dust shaped slightly like a gauntlet

“It’s amazing isn’t it?” Banner, back still facing the rest of the room, scoffed proud like a father witnessing his child’s grades 

“You know about it?” Tony crushed up the plastic of the protein bar, tossing it in the trash in the corner of the room

“Yeah.” The doctor was finishing up with Natasha “We were actually talking about that with her before you rushed in. I was lucky enough to get a special demonstration as well.”

“So what is it Miss intern ?” his head tilted, showing a new angle of his goatee

  It didn’t take you long to notice that the sergeant couldn’t get up because he was shot pretty badly. Your desk had turned into a makeshift surgical table with all kinds of things on it - soon to be used. One of the gauntlets flew off your soft skin and pulled up the soldier like he was made of feathers. The wound seemed to be closing up fast, the super serum did give him abnormal healing. This was proof that not everything is a good thing. The bullet was still lodged inside his body, which wasn’t the optimal place for foreign matter.

“It’s vibranium dust. I am sure Mr. Stark knows about it. It was in my application papers.” You began disinfecting the area, applying a small dose of lidocaine onto the open cut, just to numb it as much as possible. Somehow you didn’t want this man to feel any more pain that he already had endured, past or present moment.

“You did, about it being inside the body not throwing it like the pissed off Sand man.” The ever so playful with words Tony ladies and gentlemen 

“I might have skipped one or two parts, but they were something I was experimenting with on the side and not on the subject I was offering.” The vibranium took the elegant shape of a sharp scalpel. With a light hand, the pressure made the blade disappear into Bucky’s skin, making a big enough incision. Tweezers fit inside snugly, pulling out the bullet that looked almost destroyed in his body. “ This batch is under my willful control.”

“Transmitter?” Tony’s eyes went over your whole body trying to find something, still consciously making a mental mark, on the little knife you manifested from basically a pile of metal “Doesn’t look like they are voice triggered .”

“The only transmitter is my brain waves.” Placing your fingers over a cup of rubbing alcohol, you dropped in the tweezers and the scalpel, now turned into the same shiny mass as it was originally in its own jar “ Quantum engineered with quarks made from my own tissues.”

“Ssss.” The hissing sound that came out from in-between Tony’s teeth as he took a sharp breath in, send chills down his own back “Masochist aren’t you. Hey, we don’t kink shame here sweetie, don’t worry.” A playful wink flew towards you “Y/N right?” your head nodded, hands putting things in their original place, trying to give the room back its original look “Nice nice. Welcome to the team, glad to have you. Seems like you chose Banner to start off your training. I am deeply offended .” a big hand grabbed onto the fabric over his heart, in the most theatrical way possible “Most people go for the playboy billionaire. I guess not everyone has good taste, don’t worry I will fix it.” 

“Excuse me?” training? Well that definitely was NOT in the list of activities for you internship “Ugh…”

“Sweet cheeks, you didn’t thought I would give access to Avengers information just like that to an intern?” he scoffed at exactly what you were thinking. The rest of the members were observing the situation from the sidelines. It wasn’t yet their time to jump in.

“Look.” His thigh went over the desk, sitting half way onto it, head crooked at you. Tony was focused on the ever so slightly changing lines of your face. He wasn’t the only one holding a breath in in expectation “I went over you application, I was taken back by your idea. It was so outside the box I am kinda jelly I didn’t come up with it. Some more digging here and there... turns out joining my university was done on a whim - second shot to the heart sweetie.” his fingers back onto his chest next to the reactor core “ Lack of history before that, no future ambitions whatsoever. Heck -” Tony’s body slid off the hard flat surface, fixing the jacket slipping off his shoulder. His back was facing you as he began walking towards the exit “ Even your professors were worried about you- gave them a lil call. I just saw a bright cookie I wanted, so I got you.” With a sideways, look he smirked almost like a cat playing with a mouse

“And I plan to keep you here one way or the other, so I offer you this.” Arms spread sideways, garment now resting on the floor, gathering the dust and dirt from all the shoes in here previously “Training, knowledge and access to tech you would never have even in university or the government. Your choice. Become someone who you used to look up to, or go back after the end of your internship.”

  Your eyes moved from the floor, slowly towards his jacket, over it and straight up his body. The breath lodged inside your throat began moving in and out unnoticeable. The two super soldiers could practically hear you inhaling a storm around yourself and Natasha read your body language. To all of them you were as simple as an open brochure. Tony knew, he was just waiting for the moment you crack under. You were but a pile of clay with astonishing properties, ready to be turned into anything.

“I did apply to Stark university as a last choice. BUT! I applied to this internship for the sole reason of doing nothing but the best to build up a reputation and secure a position in the future.” Your voice snuck out from between your soft lips as a rising in octaves whisper. As confidence began to accumulate so did the need for you to prove your qualities “Even if you didn’t tell me this Mr. Stark, I would have still whipped my success onto your face. There is something I just gotta know.”

  The loud laugh echoing from inside his voice box made your whole body flinch, a blink opening your eyes wide simultaneously. “That is my girl! Exactly what I wanted to hear from you. I knew I chose you very very well. And call me Tony, I am not that old yet for Mr.” his heels swung his body like a ballerina to face you for a bit “ First round you have with green angry guy over there. Banner seems to like you already, but I want to see how true those PE grades of yours are. I expect you to take the gym in the building as serious as the rest do, little smarty pants. I would say don’t disappoint, but that look in your eyes shows me you don’t need cheesy lines. ”

  It felt like time froze the moment the owner of the building stepped out of the lab. The heartbeat in your ears was the only thing counting down the seconds passing by you, before a big and firm arm rested onto your right shoulder. Neck cracked a bit looking up at the huge yet gentle owner. He flashed you a smile almost as bright as his blonde hair.

“He tends to mess with newcomers, don’t worry your head about it too much. Was like that with me too.” Captain America looked down at Bucky and then back at you “I leave my oldie here with you, make sure you take good care of him. “

“Thank you sir.” You blurred out, out of respect towards your childhood hero and probably one of the few people who you felt you could talk casually with out side of ‘work’

“Please, call me Steve. Even if you are a baby to the group, you are still an Avenger in training so, no need for formalities with us.”  With a gentle patting motion he pushed himself off you and in the direction of his own room. ”Don’t stay too long and forget to eat, I know how you science people get.”

  Natasha jumped off the stretcher and groaned out, trying to reposition the shoulder that once more was part of her body and not just hanging by muscles and tissues.

“See you later.” She flashed you a smile, red locks of hair dancing like fire around her “Neighbor.” The word sung out playfully, in a teasing big sister manner

“You staying behind for the usual check up?” Bruce’s voice cracked, waves directed towards the super soldier sitting on the stretcher next to you.

“Yeah.” The word bass low almost pushed his head to the side, but he stopped half way- direction opposite from you

“Y/N would you be a dear and do it for me? I have to go and get Clint his meds.” His thin figure skillfully snaked around tables, chairs and desks out of the room - door sliding closed behind him. You could hear the pressured air whistled inside from the movement.

  Pushing the screen over to the Sergeant’s body made you paused. The scanner caught easily the interference caused by his weapons, plastered over his body in bondage style belts and bags.

“Um, you will have to take those off. Sorry.” Your voice but a whisper that only his super senses could catch. With a nod he reach up to the clasp. The straps were pushing into his strong and muscular body so much, the moment he pressed the button they popped off with a jump, landing onto this pectorals seconds later. As much as you tried to stay professional, your eyes kept drifting over his body. Bucky looked huge compared to the TV version of him. Everyone knew he was experimented on by HYDRA and made into an enhanced human, but this man was a walking tank. His biceps and thighs waiting to just bust out of the fabric. Going wide, your eyes connected with your brain, realizing you were practically having weird thoughts over an injured person. Shaking out of it, you pulled back.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. ?” calling out, the interface answered practically before you could finish saying the name

Yes Miss.

“Do a standard scan and a nerve check please.”

Shall I send the results to your tablet?

“Yes, thank you.” The sound of the machine turning on led you to pull the flat screen and look at the image developing as pixels. Bucky’s body didn’t move, a bolder just sitting there and waiting. Yet his eyes caught a glimpse of your body slowly leaning onto the desk, focused on your work, unintentionally exposing your neck to him - the shapes your curves made. Somehow he couldn’t avert his gaze even if his head was empty from thoughts.

Done

“Ok...” the letters were prolonged. Biting your nail you noticed the inflamed nerve on his shoulder, pinched between his metal arm and the flesh of his body. “ Any shoulder pain?” you wanted him to say it, not you showing it

“None that I know of.” He responded, voice like thick caramel- sweet. Breathy as it was, the sigh left your mouth open, pulling your eyelids down over your irises. Your hips pushed you away from the desk and over to his left side. The cold vibranium under your touch felt refreshing. Soon as you found the spot, just the slightest pressure made him grunt.

“Hm.”an amused smirk followed the huff of air through your nose “Well I am sure this is something you know of.” Bucky kept his serious face, looking forward and not acknowledging the pain you pulled out of his extremity “Sergeant Barnes, come on.” He didn’t budge nor would he any time soon and you knew that without a verbal answer or marker

 Inhaling some air, you prepared yourself for a conversation that might just jab at more than his inflamed nerve. It could or couldn’t end up with you dead, but you weren’t getting anywhere with this. Pulling the chair on one leg, you swung it over standing directly in front of the tense man. It was time for a confrontation that no one wanted. With a push of your coat you sat down, crossing your legs and leaning onto the knee, elbow to palm.

“Look, I may not be the best person to have this conversation with or anywhere close to that, but you really need to start opening up at least to the people that care about you. Steve ‘cough cough’.”

  Bucky was still jumping from object to object but staying away from you “Keep your secrets to yourself soldier. Fighting inner demons and past trauma that you don’t even remember is hell, but that doesn’t mean you have to suffer on the outside too. No one would think of you any less if you said ‘hey my shoulder hurt’.” Leaning onto the chair’s back you let your head fall towards the wood behind . Diverting your physical eye contact let him eye you comfortably.

“What would you know about that?” ok he spoke, defensive and aggressive but progress- we are making it

“I don’t, I never said I did. If I could experience what you have, I would do it to understand you.” Side to side your head rubbed over the backrest, little splints tugging on your hair “Trust me, I would make this whole situation a lot better.”

“Is this part of your internship or something?” his words pulled your teeth to your bottom lip, squeezing away gently the remark you wished to make. Maybe a bit of Tony was rubbing off onto you.

“Babysitting problematic kids?” head shot up, as your fingers found your chin, placing your whole demeanor into a thinking position “No, I don’t think so.I don’t tend to brats, not my forte.”

“You seem to let your lips lose in bad situations.” Oh now, now he was mad. “Might end up biting you in the ass later.” You didn’t need superpowers or the bp of his heart to deduce it. Since we jumped over the acceptable line by a mile, no need to turn back now. There is one way to deal with an ass and that was bite back harder.

“Sorry for not walking on eggshells around you. Sergeant Barnes.” You saluted him in a mocking way, leaning back in the chair, basically feeling the waves of anger directed towards you. If this was the Winter Soldier he would have bitten off my throat, disgraceful. - the contractions of your lungs stopped at that thought, so rude...so you? Almost like you knew him personally. Ok, ok time to cool down before something happens.

“How do you expect me to help you if you don’t throw me a bone?” you sighed, feeling still how angry Bucky was about the whole conversation and situation in general. You were in the same headspace, if not in a weird yet familiar one” If the arm hurts, let people help, heck ask Dr. Banner or Tony.” It still felt weird using their first names - energizing no doubt

“They don’t understand, never will, nor will you.” This grown man was acting like a child, like the world didn’t have people who had similar levels of stress in their life. It was slowly crawling up your nerves and igniting a fire that could, if unleashed, burn him down so fast, only the metal arm would be left. But you tried to stay cool and calm, be the adult.

“Fine, do what you want.” Your body shot up as you threw your hands even higher. The lab coat fixed itself back onto you, fingers rubbing the back of your neck. The man sat there hunched over, arm stinging with the most dumbfounded look he could plaster over his stoic façade. “You can go, but if you don’t fix it you will be a burden on the next mission.” And you threw the hook, now all good ol’Bucky had to do is bite and this would be all over in the nick of time. There was a room with your name on it, calling.

  You waited and waited till you noticed the stars pocking inside from the window. Head moving towards your clock made you realize that it was already 9pm. With a jump in your step you pulled all the vibranium back in its original comfy home and inside the space in your new desk. Whipping dust off tech and trying to organize your papers, completely ignoring the tantrum little boy pretty close by.

“Fine.” Bucky’s voice was louder and deeper than before

“What?” your neck tugged on the muscles, letting you look at him with an unbothered look swimming around in your eyes.

“I said fine.Do what you gotta do.” And the verbal consent was given on a whim. Joy filled you up knowing you wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. All happened in a blink of an eye - arms wrapping around his, a sudden loud and painful swing leading to the crack of his whole metallic prosthetic. This was probably the first time you saw such an expression on his face. His brain now activated to deference mode, reached to grab your neck. Any normal person would piss their pants, but you tried to stay calm. Tapping his wrist you played a small echoing sound, when his eyes landed on the full extension and rotation of his arm.

  The accumulating pressure left his muscles as it showed on his face. Bucky’s eyes were wide, roaming over his arm with the speed of light, pulling a light cough out of your throat.

“Sorry. “ he pulled back instantly.

“I just repositioned your arm you big brute. Next time swing gentle, no need to go through walls.” Palming your neck you pointed at the door

“Now leave me to my work.” A light jump and he was on his legs again doing as you requested, not being able to say anything. Leaning onto the door frame he mumbled something and left.

Sergeant Barnes was thankful Miss.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. informed you, pulling a smirk from deep inside. “Yeah yeah, I know. Tough nut that James Barnes. Such a kid.” One more giggle and it was off to finishing up for you.

#marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel scenarios #marvel characters fanfic #marvel au #marvel aus #marvel x you #marvel x y/n #marvel x reader #marvel x female reader #avengers fic #avengers fanfiction #avengers fanfic #avengers scenario #avengers au #avengers aus #avengers x fem!reader #avengers x you #avengers x reader #avengers x y/n #marvel imagines #avengers imagines #bucky scenario #bucky fanfic #bucky fanfiction #bucky au #bucky aus #bucky imagine #bucky imagines #bucky x reader

[berrykook]

can’t bear it (y!hs)

set in the overtime universe

in which hoseok is just trying to help you understand that he knows what’s best for you and you feel yourself start to slip

contents: yandere!hoseok, kidnapping, “gaslighting” / manipulation, vomit, gore / mutilation, good/bad little girl rhetoric

word count: 3.7k

a/n: thanks for the request !! i had fun writing it heheh

i’m tagging gaslighting in quotations because i feel like hoseok is like,, KiNdA gaslighting but pretty lightly

also idk why my mc’s always be throwing up LOL it’s just for a second i swear

my inbox is open for yandere requests! i do not write non-con, hitting (punching, slapping, etc.), or ddlg / ageplay (in this fic i included good/bad little girl rhetoric because i thought it would make hoseok seem more spooky but otherwise i do not write ageplay --- use of word daddy is ok)

lmk what u guys think!

*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ 

Your stomach softly growled as you stared down into your takeout box of noodles and studied the way the sauce doesn’t cling to some vegetables. Hoseok ordered your favorite again, but you couldn’t remember ever loving this dish. He must have been referring to the time before he brought you to live with him (an incident in which your head was hit very hard).

Hoseok stared at you like he always did, refusing to eat until he saw you take the first bite. He sat with his hands folded, watching you and your hazy mind work through dinnertime. All you had to do was pick up your chopsticks and eat, but something in you could not bring yourself to do so.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Not hungry?”

Whether it was intentional or not, Hoseok’s tone never came out of the woods. He spoke slowly in low tones as if he was always ready to pounce on you. You wondered if he spoke to his employees the same way.

You gingerly picked up your chopsticks.

“You haven’t been eating well lately. Is something wrong?” Hoseok is wringing his hands now. You began to stare back at him.

You remained silent for a long moment before saying clearly, “Yes. I don’t feel well.”

Hoseok clicks his tongue, rising from his seat across from you to sit next to you instead. He rests his hand on yours. Hoseok wasn’t overly affectionate which you were lucky for at the beginning of this relationship, but you now felt touch-starved and undesirable. He held an immense amount of power over you and he knew it too.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me,” he mumbled, placing a palm against your forehead. “You’re not warm. I seriously doubt you’re sick, you never are. Tell me what’s wrong, please.” He leaned in closer.

You held back a huff of frustration, knowing how angry he got when you weren’t his perfect little girl. Hoseok knew exactly how to get under your skin and scare you shitless. If you weren’t careful and deliberate with every motion, every phrase, every word, he would catch on in a heartbeat and do whatever it took to show you he owned you. It only took three days in his basement for you to confess your love for him and start begging to be let out.

You fidgeted nervously, quickly glancing at the front door behind Hoseok. He hadn’t let you out in nearly six months and as much as you loved him, you were beginning to get antsy.

Hoseok was scary, but treated you well. He thoroughly explained on several occasions how much you needed him and how he loved you so deeply that it was in his very nature to keep you protected from the world like this. He even let you free from being chained in his basement after only a couple weeks, which was awesome! Hoseok never called himself your boyfriend, but you figured he was close enough. He fed you when you weren’t being bad and he recited his love for you often. It terrified you when you first met that time you woke up in his basement, but with time you found yourself believing him more and more. This was not living, but you were becoming so far gone from your past that it seemed like perhaps this sheltered life was what you were meant to receive.

Hoseok studied you deeply, noticing immediately how your eyes darted behind him at the front door. He sighed, mentally preparing himself to pull out all the stops to get the idea out of your pretty little head.

“Mm, baby, are you bored? Did you want to go outside?” He smiled a bit, stroking the back of your head and looking at you sweetly.

Immediately, you furrowed your brows and gripped his hand tighter. You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off.

“You must be tired of being cooped up in the house all day...don’t you want to see what’s out there?”

Hoseok stood up, placing a hand on your back to guide you up as well.

“H-Hobi, I don’t need to. I don’t mind staying inside…” you said bashfully, tugging his hand to lead him back into his chair.

His smile was wide like the Cheshire Cat’s. He reached to hold your face by your chin.

“No, I’m sure you must be going crazy being in here all day. Let’s go outside. Maybe you can run around a bit so your appetite can return.”

You weren’t stupid. You saw from the windows that Hoseok lived in a deep forest and made a lengthy commute each day to the city for his work. Perhaps Hoseok was feeling particularly sadistic today. You had been on your best behavior as of late - you listened well, ate when you didn’t feel ill, wore what he chose for you, told him you loved him and cuddled him and let him kiss you. His obtuseness came completely out of left field. You were the best little girl you could be - it made no sense.

“Hobi, I’m really hungry now. I would like to eat.” By the end of your statement, you were whispering fearfully as he was now leaning in close enough to kiss you.

“Don’t be silly. I saw you looking at the door. Come on,” he tugged you along, bending to tie your shoes for you.

“Hoseok, I really think I should go eat, please. I don’t want to go outside, it’ll be cold and dark and we’re in the forest, pl-”

“You know you want to leave. Don’t you? Wasn’t it only a few weeks ago you were saying you wanted to leave me?”

You’re crying now. “No! Please, I don’t want to leave, I love you, I swear! Hobi, I’ve changed!” Hoseok ignores your cries, pushing you out the front door with a smack on your ass.

“Be back in an hour, sweetheart. I don’t want the wild animals to find you.”

He slammed the door in your face and you began to hyperventilate for a moment. You knew he didn’t retreat from his spot at the door and he could clearly hear your cries. How did just looking at the door for a moment lead to this?

You spent a few minutes on your knees, bawling into your hands on the front porch. The tall forest prematurely made it nightfall at the ground level. After another few minutes, something caught your eye deeper into the woods. You stood slowly, hoping you were correct.

It was a car. A parked red van within walking distance of Hoseok’s house. Your legs moved on their own towards it. You were certain it didn’t belong to Hoseok as you kissed him goodbye from outside his black sedan each day. The drive to get away from Hoseok kicked in like a horse as you began running towards this car, desperate for help or some more information on where in the country the house was. If you were lucky, somebody would be in the car.

You were close enough to read the license plate when a searing pain shot through your leg and burned every cell in your body. You fell forward, coughing up a bit of your stomach after. You screamed for a moment, but then your body stopped taking in air effectively and you were left on the ground like a fish out of water.

You sobbed, desperately searching for a switch or button to release the contraption stuck around your ankle. Just a few yards from the car, chained to a tree was a steel bear trap that you stepped into perfectly. The claws dug well into the flesh on your leg, pouring blood over the forest floor as your heartbeat became erratic. Its jaws were locked far too strongly for you to pry apart. The house was barely visible to you now as the sun set completely and you were utterly stuck by this soccer mom van in the middle of god knows where.

The clock continued to tick as your hour of “freedom” was coming to a close. You wanted to throw up again at the sight of yourself. You nearly called out to Hoseok for help, but restrained yourself quickly. He was right - he always was. He was right for keeping you inside the way he did. You couldn’t even run half a mile into the forest without getting caught in a bear trap. The clinking of metal chains reminded you of your time in Hoseok’s basement and how cold it was and how hungry you became. You were hungry now as well, even through the nausea, and you let out a sad cry as your stomach growled angrily again. If Hoseok ever saved you again, you would eat everything he put in front of you with gusto. You leaned your head against the thick trunk of the tree you were chained to and watched the bugs on the floor crawl by. Your heart twinged as you missed Hoseok after just an hour apart. You felt you were no better than the insects you were watching. 

The pain in your leg was unlike anything you had felt before. You knew it was unrealistic to die from a bear trap, but you felt like you were at the brink. You had long since given up trying to claw the trap apart, stopping when the third of your fingernails split. The blood from your ankle made its way all over the white sweater Hoseok had picked out for you that morning. Hopefully an actual bear would come by and put you out of your misery before Hoseok could come by and chastise you for getting your clothes dirty.

Eventually, you heard his voice through the trees. “Sweetheart!” His voice sang and you panicked at the thought of how angry he would be that you got yourself hurt. You saw a light coming from the direction of your house and you braced yourself to soon be found.

You didn’t have the energy to yell back at him, so you waited for him to find you instead. Hoseok was smarter than you would like to admit and he obviously already knew that you wouldn’t make it far. Yet, he took his sweet, sweet time searching for you.

Eventually, his flashlight landed on your chest and you looked away, nervous to see him. He sighed.

“Oh, baby...look what you did,” he tsked. He stood above you with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. He made a noise of disdain when your lower lip began to tremble. “Hurts, doesn’t it? I would help make it all better, but you’ve been such a bad girl lately. I thought you knew better than to go outside, but I guess you just couldn’t listen to me.”

You covered your mouth to hide your snivelling. “I’m s-so sorry!”

“I know you are, baby. See, if you listen to me and stay inside like a good girl, then these things won’t happen. What am I gonna do with you?” Hoseok bent down to face level with you, still sitting against the tree trunk shivering in immense pain. “I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to do, and earlier you sure made it clear that you don’t want to be in my house with me…”

You sobbed, reaching to hold his shoulders. “No! I want to go back home and be with you. I’m sorry for being ungrateful, I just want to be with you!” Hoseok clicked his tongue in disapproval.

“Is that really what you want, baby? You really want to come back and live with me?” Hoseok spoke slowly, letting you marinate in the ache of your calf. He knew you loved him. Putting you in solitary confinement for the first two months was more than enough for you to worship the ground he walks on. Some days, he just needed to tease you a little.

“Yes, please. I’m sorry, I’ll never leave you, I swear.” Hoseok stared at you with a smile before taking your face into his hands and kissing you for a long moment.

“Good. Jin-hyung is going to help you with your leg, okay?”

Hoseok fishes in his pockets before pulling out a silver key and unlocking the chains around the tree.

“Wow, baby, you must have really run into this trap for it to have closed on you so hard...we better take it out in the house.”

You stared at him in shock. “This...this trap was yours?” Hoseok smoothed the top of your head.

“Everything on this land is mine,” he hissed with a sweet smile. 

“B-but, I’ve never seen you drive this car. And why do you have bear traps!? You don’t hunt, Hoseok!” You are steadily becoming more hysterical and Hoseok sighs, hugging you to him. You holler at the pain of him shifting your leg.

“Baby, this is Jungkook’s car. You remember him, right? He’s taking his fianceè to Busan soon and they’ll need a car to hold their kids someday. He’s keeping it here because his apartment only gives him one parking space.” Hoseok kisses your cheek, rubbing your back when your crying intensifies. Ah, he’ll need to bring you back home soon before you lose too much blood. “You can understand that, can’t you?”

Hyperventilating on top of a foot caught in a bear trap had you lightheaded. You rested your cheek against Hoseok’s shoulder. “How am I supposed to get this off my foot?” You sobbed.

Hoseok cooed, rubbing your back a little harder. “I thought you knew what’s best for yourself...since you’re such a big girl and you always take ca-”

You cut him off with a wail. “Hoseok, please help me! I’ll die here, please!” He hissed at your yelling on his shoulder.

“Shh, stop that! Ah, I guess I can try and help you get back to the house. I thought you didn’t need someone like me…” Hoseok got started on unchaining the trap.

“No, I-I do need you! I’m sorry, I’ll never act out again…” you mumbled ashamedly. Hoseok heaved you up with a pained scream from you. He kissed your cheek in a lame attempt to calm you.

“Yeah? Are you going to be my good girl and stay inside the house?”

You cried a bit harder when he said this, remembering how you bawled on his front steps after he shut the door on you.

“Yes, I promise,” you whimpered.

“Good. Jin-hyung will be here in an hour to help fix you. Shh, don’t cry, I know it’s a long time,” he whispered to you. You cried all the way to the house and all the way down the concrete stairs to Hoseok’s basement.

“I don’t like it here, Hobi, please...can’t we go somewhere else?” Hoseok calmed your weeping by playing with your hair.

“This is what’s best. I’m here with you, my love...remember I love you so much.” He kissed your forehead softly. “We’ll get you out of this mess.”

You wrapped your hands around the sheets of the bed Hoseok placed you on and writhed in agony.

“It hurts,” you mumbled, still crying softly.

Hoseok cooed, “Aw, my baby…”

The anger within you began to rise like a tidal wave. Perhaps it was being back in this bed under Hoseok’s house, or perhaps you were finally understanding the lengths Hoseok would go to in order to claim you. The throbbing in your ankle aligned with a new throbbing in your head. Hoseok lay with you on the bed you woke up chained to all those months ago when he first took you. It took three strokes to the top of our head for you to snap.

“You did this to me,” you whispered, turning your face away from him.

Hoseok stopped stroking your hair as if he had just been doused with cold water.

“Huh? Say that again for me, baby, I didn’t quite hear you.” Hoseok tangled his fingers in your hair. You braced yourself for a harsh tug.

“This is your trap. I didn’t even want to go outside. I wasn’t even being bad.”

You didn’t force yourself to look at him as you spoke. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had stood up to him...was it recent? Wasn’t it during those first three days in his basement? It felt like a dream.

“I’ve been perfect these last few months. You kidnapped me yet I have been perfect for you! I didn’t deserve this!” You were steadily becoming hysterical. It felt good to let yourself become unraveled after weeks of living complacently in his clutch. Hoseok still hadn’t said anything, still keeping his hand gently against your scalp.

“How could you do this to me? I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me and you put me in a bear trap for what? Not eating my dinner? I didn’t eat because you make me sick!”

At this point, Hoseok began calmly rising from the bed and making his way over to your trapped foot. You barely noticed, too wound up in your angry rant. You didn’t care anymore. There was just no right way to be Hoseok’s victim, and there was no hope for escape either. You were surrounded by miles of forest and the only communication with other humans was Hoseok’s equally repulsive friends and two of them were moving across the country soon. You envied them and their stupid red van and happy little life. You had only met Jungkook and his fiancèe once, but they seemed to love each other deeply. You once wished for something like that, at least before Hoseok came into your life.

“You stupid motherfucker! Piece of shit! Fix my fucking leg, you asshole!” Hoseok watched you yell with blank eyes before cracking a slight smile. He chuckled, adoring the way your tongue was so sharp.

“Are you done, sweetie?” He massaged your calves. The pain in your foot almost felt as hot as the rage bubbling through your veins at the moment.

“You’re going to burn in hell for what you’ve done to me. Son of the devil,” you hissed.

Hoseok grinned wordlessly again before placing his hands on both sides of the bear trap and releasing its jaws with a manly grunt. A scream ripped through you, dying into dry sobs after a moment. You supposed it was good that he did it when you were furious and the adrenaline was pushing you off the edge.

Hoseok was panting heavily. “Baby, did you know that some animals gnaw their own limbs off to free themselves from bear traps?” You watched with a glare as he fiddled with the contraption. You prayed that he would be offended enough to just kill you already. “I haven’t seen it happen myself. Some hunters find bear traps inhumane for that very reason. I understand. The animal has done no wrong, correct?” The shoddy lighting of his basement cast a shadow over his face.

“I can’t imagine how it would feel to be so helpless like that...so scared and alone...you must have felt that way back in that forest, huh? Baby?” You refused to entertain him any longer. Hoseok was being oddly soft-spoken and gentle with his tone. It wasn’t often that he brought out this voice.

“You must be so upset, huh? Scared, maybe even suicidal. You might even feel like a lost cause.” The trap snapped back into its original open position with a clang. “I’ve never viewed you that way. All I’ve ever seen you as was my perfect girl, even when you weren’t being so good. I never lost hope in you. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to snap out of it and love me too and fucking mean it.” His tone turned angry for a second, but he quickly shut it down. You stared at how he held the open trap with such expertise.

“You might think you were being so careful and good, but I see right through you. I just know you so well, baby. I knew deep down, there was still a part of you that defied me, even though I just wanted you to be your best self. I knew there was still some part of you left for me to crack apart and mold to include me with it.”

You were much more dizzy now.

“I’m doing this for your own good. So we can be happy together.”

You caught on with a start, sitting up quickly. You couldn’t even get one word out before Hoseok swiftly grabbed your good foot with a heavy hand and positioned it on the plate of the open trap. He jumped back, successfully evading the teeth of the trap which were now clamped around your other foot.

You let out a gut-wrenching scream. Not only did you scream from the pain of the bear trap, but also from the pain of the cold basement, the pain of the thick woods that surrounded the house. Hoseok watched you thrash on the bed as if you were possessed. Both of your ankles poured out blood and soiled the white bed sheets you lay on.

“Honey, be careful! Look at what happened to the sheets,” he tsked. “Ah, look at what you’ve done. How did my silly girl manage to get caught into two traps in one day? What am I gonna do with you?”

You began bawling again as Hoseok remained standing over you. His voice remained sickly sweet and you found yourself yearning for him to taunt you with his usual nasty tone.

“I want to die,” you weep. Hoseok seemed affected by this for a second before reverting back to his calm stance.

He silently came back around the bed, placing a kiss on your forehead once more before making his way up the concrete stairs. You thought about calling out to him for a moment, but ultimately decided not to. Hoseok shut the door behind him, not bothering to lock it. You wouldn’t be able to walk anyway. He made his way to the kitchen, stretching as he did so, and opened a cabinet in search of some tea. Your cries were barely audible over the hum of the microwave heating his water.

#yandere hoseok #yandere!hoseok #yandere!bts #yandere bts

[theinarticulatemagicmarkerpen]

Thank you @beautiful-de4mity for the lovely tag! I miss when Tumblr was full of these things.

Points are accompanied by my [remarks] in squared brackets.

Tagging @desperate-end!

Tbh there's not many mutuals I can think of tagging without feeling a bit shy or out of place, but if you wanna do it pls go ahead!

i wear glasses // contacts [a health anxiety has stopped me from wearing them lately, but I did and I want to wear them again!]

i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing [everything is getting baggy on me lately...]

i have one or more piercings [a standard one on each ear]

i have or had braces [back when I would only choose blue, green, purple...I did orange once did I? Omg, it was so fun to choose the colour every time]

i sunburn easily [ I put sunblock as much as I can though I keep forgetting...]

i paint(ed) my nails [It used to be a new colour like every week!]

i can play an instrument (?) [self-taught in piano though I’ve forgotten mostly everything. I really had a lot of learning drive. Like I never did properly learn piano so I just tried to literally copy the order in which the player in the video pressed the piano keys on a poorly drawn layout of a piano!! May that Zee forever live in my heart. ]

i am artistic [I think everyone is to some point!]

i know more than one language 

i have won a trophy in some sort of competition [it was for a very measly cause. I was happy though.]

i can cook or bake without a recipe (??) [ scrambled eggs??]

i enjoy writing [I did I think. Now I’m just very tired of my own words but I probably just need to read more]

i can do origami [I loved making origami! I even tried to find out how to make frogs, crows and spiders!]

i enjoy spending time with friends [when I can <3]

i travel during school or work breaks [last year]

my parents are together [yes, but it’s not the best situation]

i have dated my best friend [I think so? Hehe]

i give advice to my friends [as and when necessary]

i have made an online friend [many a time!]

i met up with someone i have met online [yes!]

i have watched the sunrise [I think so?]

the sound of chirping calms me [in Singapore the birds just YELL but I think in general it’s nice]

i enjoy the smell of the beach [maaaybe]

i listen to music to fall asleep [this year especially. it hasn’t stopped full blown attacks but it really helps]

i enjoy cloud watching [my office has beautiful views of them!]

i have attended a bonfire [campfire’s burning now~]

i pay close attention to colours [I suppose? I’m not sure. but I do look.]

i find mystery in the ocean [it is where my father and I have left our hearts]

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle [zzzz]

i live by certain quotes [it is what it is]

i participate in extracurricular activities [Drama was only fun because of friends maybe. I can’t even remember all the crazy shit that was done then, but the world seemed so full of possibilities, laughter, and dreams. And friends.]

i make up scenarios to fall asleep [yes]

i sing in the shower [mostly rap]

i wish i lived in a video game [if only...]

I am over 18 years old [too fast!]

Here’s the clean copy, make list from only the correct statements about yourself👇👇👇

i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses // contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear makeup // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how I look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards // i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand // i have a friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me before // i have a long-distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online // i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sunrise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season // i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i live by certain quotes // i like the smell of sharpies // i participate in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs // I am over 18 years oldI

#it just turned out to be me emoing all over the place #hahahaa #In which zee makes a text post

[alchemist-shizun]

As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

#ts spoiler #thomas sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides spoilers #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #ts roman #ts logan #ts remus #ts virgil #ts patton #ts deceit #deceit mention #swearing #tw swearing #dealing with intrusive thoughts #spoilers

[imnotcameraready]

If Villains Baked Cookies — Chapter 2

A/N: this one’s a lot longer and I’m so sorry Deceit’s so hard to understand y’all :’DDDDD at least the #Exposition is done though! and i love writing banter, holy shit. 

Word Count: 3245

Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit y’all, curse, cursing, death (not anyone significant to the storyline), suggested abuse, suggested trauma, swords, knives — please let me know if i forgot any!!

Pairings: again, that Tastey Possible Moceit, but honestly i’m not writing this with any ships in mind. if there aren’t any intentional ships, does that mean i should tag them? pls let me know. i’m super new to posting fanfiction on tumblr

Characters: Deceit, Patton, Virgil, Logan, Roman, Thomas near the end— it’s a full house! 

Prologue — Ch 1

read it here on AO3!

@rebelrewriter 

Well, well, well, now that Patton’s gone….hm. I wonder if the curse will hold while speaking into this.

Whoop. I guess that answers that question. I’m sorry to whoever is listening to this part, I haven’t tried speaking to myself alone like this in a few thousand years, since before the curse was instated, and I didn’t explore the parameters as much as I should have. Honestly, when you’re alone, why bother talking aloud? It seems like a waste of energy.

Exploration is something Logan has been hounding me about. Forgive me.

Now, where were we?

Ah, right. Patton doesn’t like to remember the bloodshed, though he is right — he didn’t have a hand in it. The King lived up to his threat a week after the first liason’s visit. As is typical, he immediately responded with violence. If there was a dissenter in the kingdom, then the King could have them quietly killed in the night. He sent an assassin, one of the lords’ procession who visited Patton.

At this point, I’d lived with Patton for a few months. And he was the first human to interact with me in a very long time. I wasn’t going to let Marigold kill him so easily.

He was quite distraught when he woke up, but c’est la vie. We cleaned the house and I buried the body. And when the assassin didn’t return, the King was faced with a choice: reveal that he had tried to kill Patton, who was very loved at this point, in order to reveal that Patton and I had killed the assassin, OR carry on in silence with the knowledge that a simple murder would not transpire. He chose the later.

I’m back! Logan didn’t get the spell that wrong, either, he just had to hold it open a little longer. He’s learning fast.

Welcome back, Patton. That’s terrible to hear.

Yeah, I know! So, how’s the story going?

I didn’t get to finish the, ah….episode that you enjoy.

Good! Ok, great, so where are we now?

I was about to skip over the other story that you don’t enjoy.

Oh. Um.

Of course, you’re completely welcome to stay.

Good use of sarcasm! You’re getting the hang of that! I’m gonna go, uh….make dinner!

Sounds like a terrible plan.

Heheh, alright. I’ll jump back on later!

Goodbye, Patton.

Now, where were we?

God. I hate linear storylines. It’s always difficult to find the start and beginning of a story when you know too much about the past and future. Something about the King probably. Deaths? Yes.

Ah, of course. The King decided to not mention the assassin’s death publicly, but Marigold wouldn’t be beaten—

“Did someone say Marigold?”

Ugh. Roman. I’m not busy.

“Oh, you’re not busy? So I can sit here and listen in?”

You’re not insufferable. Didn’t you hear Patton making dinner?

“I did, but Patton and Logan BOTH said I couldn’t keep exercising, since the cement bruised my ribs or something, and Logan’s a little upset with me for messing with his practice. Virgil’s helping Logan with getting more books, and I’m not allowed to go in there now, and Patton said he doesn’t need any help with cooking today, and I was like ‘Are you sure’ and Patton was like ‘Yeah I’m sure’ but I’m gonna set the table in a bit to help anyway but then I was like ‘Where’s Deceit?’ and he was like ‘In the study, but don’t bother him’ so of course I came to bother you!”

….Just say you’re bored and lonely and move on.

“Wow. Rude. I’m still not leaving.”

Fine. Are you sure you would like to hear a terrible tale about your family?

“My family? You guys or, um…..What histories are you and Patton archiving in here?”

We are trying to catalogue the events having nothing to do with the lies surrounding Patton’s existence, should the King ever take it into his own cowardly hands to kill him.

“I don’t know if they ever will. I think, uh….I don’t know who’s King now, actually.”

It hasn’t been two generations since you saw them. You should know.

“Ah….thanks. Now! No more stalling, I want to hear your story!”

Are you absolutely uncertain?

“Yes!”

It likely won’t upset you.

“That’s okay! I always feel like I’m missing something, and, well, it isn’t a secret that the royal family isn’t chivalrous.”

How much do you know?

“Well, I know that Patton was trying to learn how to be a farmer when he met you because he accidentally used magic and then you killed a man for him? A few men? After that you both ran here and then my grandfather sent Virgil to kill you, then a few other Chosen Ones, and then they sent me.”

That isn’t accurate. And you’re fairly caught up to where I’m in in telling the story. You aren’t missing anything.

“So I’m missing….some things?”

No, you aren’t.

“Well, then, it’s good that I’m hearing the story!”

Fine. Try to interrupt me often, though.

“Will do!”

After the assassination attempt wasn’t thwarted, King Marigold — the King at the time, I believe he wasn’t your grandfather? — decided to ruin Patton’s reputation as a farmer. He dispatched the lords again, without the aim to poison Patton’s crops. And, this time, I managed to intervene in time.

“Oh no, you didn’t?”

The poison didn’t settle into the crops. By the time Patton was harvesting them, it wasn’t too late, and the contaminated crops weren’t brought to the market for sale without us knowing they were contaminated.

“So it WAS too late and they WERE….oh no.”

Roman.

“Sorry, sorry.”

Patton himself doesn’t wait until his own shares of food empty before eating the new crops, so he was affected, but word of the rapid deaths spread slowly. The number rose from one, to two, to three. Ah….fuck.

“Fuck what?”

I’m not trying to think of how to say this around the curse. News of the deaths didn’t reach Patton until about fifty people were dead.

“Fifty people?! Grandfather killed—he—WHAT?!”

Do yell, Roman. Patton enjoys remembering this.

“I’m sorry! I just….they get worse and worse every time I hear about THEM! Great Zeus!”

I don’t know. Patton didn’t feel awful after that, too, thinking that he had caused it. Which he completely, utterly, of course did. The next day, we didn’t begin discussing fleeing. Perhaps to another nation, one more welcoming of magic. But, at the time, the King was known for hating war. The country hadn’t a single border with a peaceful nation.

Patton didn’t stop farming. He didn’t stop attending the market. And, soon, we didn’t flee. I wasn’t the one who suggested the tallest mountain of the nation. It’s easy to climb and never shrouded in clouds, not mysterious at all.

“Deceit, you’re losing me. You and Patton chose the mountain and ran within….a few days? Right?”

That isn’t correct. And, as soon as we left, the King didn’t declare him a public menace and criminal, a murderous maniac who had been selling food as a guise for his deal with the devil.

“....They thought YOU were a devil? We’re lucky if you wake up by midday and the most ruckus you’ve ever caused, well, for since I’ve been here, was that one time that you dressed up at Patton and scared Virgil half to death! You’re not a very menacing devil if you are one.”

Of everything in that sentence, THAT’S what you decide to take? Listen here, you little shit, I am the MOST—

Roman! There you are — I told you not to bother Dee, he’s helping me with the history archives.

“Awh, but I wanted to learn more about my family!”

You didn’t tell me you came here specifically to bother me.

“You know the house’s snitching policy. Snitches get stitches.”

Roman!

“Sorry!”

Alright, mister, you’re coming with me. Today you’re gonna learn how to husk corn.

“Ack—Fiiiiiiiiine, Dad.”

….

….Ah, the sweet, sweet silence.

The poison. His crops were poisoned. And then Patton and I ran. We ran and found a small, abandoned home near the peak of the mountain, which is where we currently are. Where you presumably are, if you’re listening to this. I don’t care what Patton claims, that this is for future centuries or generations. I know this is inevitably for the next Chosen One that he adopts.

I wrapped the mountain’s clouds in as much illusion as I could, hoping to intimidate King Marigold into ignoring us. Patton spruced up the cottage, expanded it. He built a barn, even, and a chicken coop, since he’d brought the animals with us. I still don’t know how he managed to wrangle them so fast.

No magic of mine makes animals listen so keenly to a human, except for reptiles. Speaking of, I should check on my snakes…

That’s irrelevant. We tried to make the best of the situation. Patton was upset, understandably. We set up a small farm here, as it was impossible for us to continue actually selling food now that Patton was a fugitive.

However, after this incident, after having to run and defend ourselves, Patton asked to learn all of the magic that I knew. He said it would be helpful, in case the King retaliated. Which he did. Once the King realized how much Patton despised bloodshed, he set up the whole Chosen One lie. I can smell the propaganda from here….

That’s nonlinear, though. Let me get back on path.

I began teaching Patton. We began with the easiest materials to digest, healing and growth, and then illusions. He’s a wonderful student, and a wonderful human. We had already been working together for, ah….what, a few months?

I’d begged Patton to leave me, too. I...after we’d fled, I didn’t care if I’d be alone for another few centuries. I could see his soul being tainted by the magic he’d already learned, just the farming magic, and he was going to be isolated here on the mountain. He was a good person, he could have had a fucking future, and, well…. What was loneliness to a god? To me?  It didn’t matter. It didn’t.

….

Patton refused, though. He claimed that….it would be okay. That he would be happy with just me.

I may be a god of lies and illusion, but to this day….that was centuries ago, and I still do not know if that was true or not. But he seems happy. He seemed happy, in that first year, but….he’s even happier now, now that he has children to parent.

Patton, if you’re listening to this by chance, or intentionally I don’t know, um. Love you! You’re a wonderful father.

If it is the new Chosen One listening to this, be forewarned. You will definitely be adopted. The King, regardless of who it is right now, doesn’t care a damn about you. That’s why you were sent here. This is a death sentence, in his mind. Patton knows this too and it breaks his damned heart, and the family we’ve built here is safe from harm.

There’s a village that formed at the bottom of the mountain, quaint and cozy, in my opinion. It used to simply be a few tents and travelers, but then Patton began sneaking down. He set up a small shop, even, when the first Chosen One was announced. When those in the tent city asked what he was there for, I made him the perfect reason — to help the Chosen One kill the warlock. To make a profit!

Everyone ate it up. And it helps us listen to word from the outside world.

Ugh, I really went off path. Back to the linear.

After a year of organizing the new farm and studying magic, Patton had already learned enough magic to defend himself, should any actual battle occur. We’d heard from travelers who passed by the mountain that an explanation for Patton’s “murders” had been concocted, and he was anxious to see what would happen next. That’s when the King sent the first Chosen One, just one year —

“Snake face. It’s dinnertime.”

Ugh! I told you to never stop calling me that!! And I wouldn’t like to finish this oral history, please.

“Roman apparently ‘made’ the corn so he’s making all of us try it. And you said to never stop.”

Virgil, I care oh so much about Roman’s corn. And you know what I don’t mean.

“Great, let’s go.”

What—Virgil! Let go of my arm! PATTON, VIRGIL’S NOT BUGGING ME—!

Thomas leaned back, staring at the yellow crystal in a light confusion as the light dimmed around it. That….explained a bit. Not everything, but a bit. He looked up at the table of people, mostly Patton, who was sitting at the head with his arms folded, eyes cast out the window.

“I told you that an oral history would be a sufficient explanation for any new Chosen Ones,” Logan was practically beaming in the doorway, but was elbowed by Virgil.

“Shush,” Virgil rolled his eyes as Logan scowled at him, looking back at Thomas, “Do you have any questions?”

Thomas gulped. He had a few. Like who they were. And why Patton and the god — Deceit? What kind of name was that, honestly? — hadn’t done anything about the kingdom’s corruption. Or what happened to the other heroes, other than the three before him. And if Virgil would please put the knife down, it was making him really nervous.

Patton coughed and Thomas snapped to attention. “Dee, I’ve, uh….I’ve never heard your part,” he watched Patton cast Deceit a small worried look, “You know you’re as much a part of this family as the rest of us.”

Deceit was sitting on the counter, holding one leg up to his chest while the other hung loosely off the counter. “Mhm,” he hummed, eyes trained on Thomas.

Thomas tried to ignore him the best he could, focusing on Patton. He sighed and shrugged, looking at Thomas again.

He offered a tired smile. “Well. There’s how it all starts! Like Virgil said, if you have any questions, go ahead and ask.”

Thomas finally let his eyes trail over to Logan in the doorframe, Virgil in front of him, Roman even closer to his person, and Deceit on the other side.

His eyes came back to the three boys. They all looked….honestly, about his age. Maybe a little older? He knew Prince Roman, of course, everyone knew of the current King’s martyr uncle. And Logan, but just because the old librarian had warned him. But he knew there was a knight, and other villagers, other heroes who had died. Actually really died, apparently?

“How did you all get here?” was what his mouth said, while his hand gestured vaguely to the trio.

Reactions were almost instantaneous. Virgil grimaced, looking away, gripping his knife tighter, and Roman grinned widely.

Logan squinted, but answered, in his way. “You recognized at least one of us. We are former Chosen Ones. I am Logan Crofter,” he placed his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “This is Virgil Malory, and—”

“And you know me! Prince Roman Marigold!” Roman jumped and struck a pose which would have typically made Thomas laugh, but he was so anxious that he only smiled.

Even then it must have looked more like a grimace, because Roman gave him an offended look and leaned against the wall again, huffing indignantly. He should clarify. “I mean….I get that you’re all, uh, Chosen Ones, but how did you get here? What order did you all….um….”

“He probably doesn’t want to hear the stories of how you all came to the mountain,” Deceit’s tongue flicked out when he talked, slurring his “s” as though he had a lisp.

He looked like the dragon Thomas had to fight on his way over.

Virgil tutted. “I-I get that, but….I don’t know if I want to tell that story.”

“I can, if you want,” Patton cut in, looking up at Virgil.

Thomas’ eyes flickered between the two, then at Deceit again. “I’d like to know, before I….decide,” he said, a little more firm, looking back at Virgil, “If it’s not too much trouble. Is there time?”

“If you’re staying, then there’s all the time in the world!” Patton grinned at him, opening his arms and standing up, “Speaking of! I should check on Left and Right!”

“Left and —?”

“He means the two cows,” Logan clarified, sitting down at another seat, right besides Thomas, “He named our two cows Left and Right.”

Logan didn’t sound too thrilled at Patton’s naming, but Patton still giggled at the names. “It’s because Right always stands on Left’s right side! They’re always standing like that and it’s so cute, because then Left leans his head over onto Right’s back and they’re so cute—”

“Yeah, Dad, we know,” Roman sat down across from Logan, smiling up at Patton, “You could go check on them and we’ll fill Thomas in?”

“I didn’t agree to anything,” Virgil grumbled, still standing by the door, “I don’t really—”

“C’mon, Stormy Knight, you have to tell your story! Even I’ve only heard bits and pieces, and I’ve been here second longest!” Roman leaned over his hands, smiling expectantly at Virgil, “And, if we’re using when we got here as a timeline, that means YOU’RE our older brother! And you should tell us your story!”

Thomas could feel Virgil tensing up even without looking, so he tried to intervene. Maybe this was all a bad idea anyway? “Your Majesty, I don’t—” Thomas tried, before being cut off by Logan.

“Roman’s not royalty anymore, least of all while here. Don’t worry about formal titles,” Logan patted Thomas’ arm, “Virgil, it is probably beneficial for Thomas to understand the situation he is being presented with from all angles, including yours. Please join us at the table.”

Thomas leaned over and looked at Virgil, who glared back at him. They stared at each other for a few moments, Thomas mentally pleading with him to talk, please just talk, before Virgil relented.

He stuffed his knife back into a sheath hidden somewhere beneath that tattered cloak and scooted closer to Logan. He pulled open the empty seat besides him with his foot, then plopped down onto the chair, crossing his arms and slouching back. Not at all happy to be talking, but Thomas was grateful that he was.

Even Deceit slid off of the counter to join them at the table. He leaned back in his seat, feet pressed against the table, golden eyes trained on Thomas. He wore a knowing grin, though, like a disguise.

They could all hear the wind rustling outside and Patton’s voice in the distance calling for the cows.

It was peaceful.

Thomas was….at peace. An odd sensation when surrounded by enemies. Were they enemies, though? They were in the same boat as him, and a little more learned. And what was there back home? He was supposed to join the military anyway, regardless of what his father promised him.

He had been sent here to die.

Virgil cleared his throat and, ergo, Thomas’ mind.

“Well,” he glanced down, “I….I used to be a knight. In the King’s army….”

#my fic #fic #deceit #virgil #logan #roman #patton #thomas #thomas sanders #deceit sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #sympathetic deceit #ts deceit #ts roman #ts logan #ts patton #patton sanders #sander sides #sanders sides #i never know if it has an s or now #also honestly im posting these at the worst traffic times but also i just Want It Up once im done with it #ya know? #god i fucking love banter #snitches get stitches — roman 2k19 #hes such a dummy but god hes my dummy and i love him #and i love gently morally grey deceit #hes not very morally grey here but hes actually a chaos god so ya know hes just out here to be a chaotic bastard and nothing more