#i need more levi hurt comfort to cope

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

tw: mentions of suicidal ideation, kat rambling about the incompetencies of the healthcare system

i really need doctor's offices to quit telling me what to do over things that don't matter

it's like all they can ever focus on is weight loss, ignoring the fact that most of that is caused by my psych meds and it's either be slightly overweight or deal with thoughts of jumping off a bridge every day and it's kinda obvious which one i'd rather do

#and its also bc after social work school i realized #that the way the medical field engaged “difficult” patients like me #could be so much BETTER #but its not #tw: mentions of suicidal ideation #probably because half of them are terrified of the idea of even bringing up the topic of suicide #i cant #; alsdjkf;lkasdf #kat rambles #ignore me #the borderline flareups are real fml #i need more levi hurt comfort to cope #gonna go watch my levi compilations in an attempt to calm myself down

[temis-de-leon]

MC with a selfish best friend

MC mourning the loss of a long toxic friendship with the help of the brothers.

Characters: demon brothers and fem!MC (written as platonic, but could be read as romantic)

Masterlist

CW: continued discussion about weight gain and weight loss, eating as a coping mechanism, obssesive and manipulative behaviour, emotional blackmail, a glimpse of animal neglect, a tiny nod at suicide, MC trying to hide her feelings, anxiety, TLC from the brothers

A/N: kind of self insert because I'm writing my own experience, so this isn't the most relatable MC. Still, I hope you enjoy it! Remember I'm not a native english speaker, so there might be some grammar mistakes.

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Back then, not that long ago, MC was completely sure she wouldn’t go any further in life. She was stuck in college, in her family and her friend group. There was a dynamic she could work through and, although it could be better, she wasn’t one to complain.

It was a flooded basement with filthy water, but at least it lacked rats.

She just needed some time to start working on herself. Go to therapy, lose some weight maybe? Start cooking again and stop wasting money on fast food. She did use to enjoy spending time in the kitchen and experimenting, after all, but the only things she cooked during her last months in the human realm were mugcakes and pasta. Not necessarily nutritious, but easy to make.

Thank god she had her best friend.

Her companion in the basement, the one with the flashlight.

MC wished she let her hold her hand too.

.

.

“She’s overthinking again. Not good”

“Look who’s talking”

“Hey! It was just a joke!”

“Should we talk to her?”

“Maybe when she comes back, else we’ll give her a heart attack”

“Yeah, Lucifer would kill us”

“Oh, so now we’re doing this for Lucifer?”

“Don’t be selfish, Mammon”

“Who ya calling selfish?”

“Ugh”

MC listened carefully, softly smiling at Beel and Levi’s voices drowning Mammon’s in an almost silent screaming match.

She couldn’t see them from her position, her upper body completely sprawled over the armrest and her line of sight lost in the ashes of the chimney. The fire cracked, threatening to die in front of her, but it was difficult to get up when her body weighted so much. She was tired and hungry and nauseous and even the idea of sitting straight sent bile to her mouth.

Then someone walked into the common room, shushing harshly and getting the other brothers to cease their fighting. Whoever it was, probably Lucifer or Satan, must have thought she was asleep.

So MC closed her eyes, hiding her face in the crook of her arm and basking in the comfortable silence. She could hear them still; the shuffle of cards, a plastic wrapper, buttons and joysticks.

The newcomer got close to her, covering her body with a blanket and sitting at her feet before opening a book. There was enough space in the couch for at least two more people, but MC still curled up, trying to make more room for him. She stopped in her tracks when he grabbed her ankle in a gentle grip, a gesture that brought some warmth where her pants didn’t reach.

Would someone add another log for the fire? Everyone seemed too comfortable to move.

At least the blanket was thick. Pure hellish wool or something, because every animal in the Devildom was just a bigger scarier version of those in the human realm. It was also, however, softer than any type of textile she could’ve ever find back home, so the creature could spit fire for all she cared.

Suddenly, the brother caressing her ankle tightened his grip for a short moment, demanding her attention. When MC opened her eyes, she found Satan smiling at her with no one else in the room. She must’ve fallen asleep after all.

“Dinner is ready”

He let her stretch, unconsciously comparing her to a cat when she arched her back and cracked every possible bone in her body. Satan wondered if that ever hurt, but MC seemed to enjoy it very much whenever she had the occasion to do so, like when they came home from classes after a long day or when they bought groceries for the whole week and Beel. 

“Did you not sleep well last night?”

“Not for a while, no”

“Is that so? Something troubling you, MC? Anything I can help with?”

“I don’t know”

She sounded sincere, but Satan didn’t buy it. Only a month had passed since MC came back to the Devildom, looking a bit more tired than when she left at the end of the first year of the program, and she’d acted ecstatic when she learnt she would be living with them again.

He was sure the problem relied in her human phone, something she didn’t have last year and Diavolo had kindly allowed her to keep.

All of his brothers, even the eldest, were greatly impressed when MC showed them how she unlocked the device with her fingerprints, as well as the human versions of Devilgram, Deviltube and Akuzon. That was a fun day, but time passed and soon the phone became an inconvenience. Someone at the other side of the line was taking their beloved human’s time, leaving her exhausted in the aftermath of their conversations and, if Satan vision’s was correct, teary eyed.

That would not continue. Not on his watch.

“We’ll look into it in another moment. Right now, let’s go with the others. Aren’t you hungry?”

“God, yes!”

They both chuckled and he forced his thoughts away. They could wait for the time being.

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Beel didn’t judge her, but she didn’t feel as happy as she thought she would whenever they sneaked in the kitchen at the late hours of the night.

Opening the fridge door with slow movements, trying not to make noise while taking plates or bowls and eating in silence between giggles and short whispers brought a sort of familiarity. And Beel never judged MC. Why would he? He ate even more than her. He’d keep going long after she was finished, full enough to want to puke everything, and MC would feel a wicked satisfaction knowing that no matter how much she ate, there was someone that would eat much more.

Those nights she’d go to bed feeling sick and greasy, too regretful and high on sugar to be tired. Then, by morning, she’d force herself to eat breakfast and go on with her day just to get whatever sense of normality she could reach.

Although, lately, things had been slightly different.

They still got together at night and filled their mouths to the brim, but Beel was adamant about MC going to the gym with him when the morning came, before everyone was out of bed. Of course she’d said no since the beginning, but he kept insisting, saying she didn’t have to exercise if she didn’t want to.

MC still said no.

Then Asmodeus put his input.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do, hon’, but you aren’t getting your 8 hours of sleep and you’re adding calories during the night. That’s horrible for your skin!”

And had it been her mother saying that, MC would’ve lashed out, rejecting opinions she’d been hearing for years over and over and over again, but this was Asmo. The Avatar of Lust. The most beautiful demon in the entire Devildom. MC guessed she wasn’t being fair to her mother, who also loved her and hated seeing her so sick and tired all the time, when it was Asmo she couldn’t ignore.

“I get anxious when I go to bed” she finally confessed.

MC could feel Satan’s eyes on her, but he stayed silent.

“Spend the night with me” intervened Belphie with an honest smile, a muted worry in his eyes “I could make you so tired you wouldn’t want to get out of bed”

“No way!”

Everyone looked at Mammon and several sighs filled the room. The demon, although deeply blushing, kept talking with an overbearing smugness.

“If someone’s gonna sleep with her, it’s gonna be me! Don’t worry MC, the Great Mammon will chase the nightmares away!”

“I think sleeping with you would give her nightmares, actually”

Mammon turned to Levi, ready to swing at his brother, but MC talked before the fight started.

“It’s not nightmares, Mams, I just feel anxious. You know, like, I can’t stop thinking”

“About what?”

She looked at Satan, who was staring at her with a calculating glance, surely remembering what she told him days before when she fell asleep on the couch.

“I don’t know… Everything, I guess”

All of them stayed silent, ignoring what they were previously doing. It didn’t feel uncomfortable, but MC wished someone said anything.

Of course, Mammon spoke first.

“Well, that’s a lot”

“No shit, you moron”

Levi finally got smacked and the rest of them went back to do their own thing, letting MC’s lack of sleep behind. A part of her wanted to keep the conversation going, but she felt too embarrassed when she tried to open her mouth again, especially having Satan looking at her like a hawk.

You don't want me to stare at you? I want to. What's the problem?

She achieved to ignore him in the end.

That night she stayed in her room, pacing, chewing her sweatshirt’s aglet while humming that Phineas and Ferb’s song and turning her headphone’s volume to the maximum with a different music threatening to deteriorate her hearing.

Anything to distract herself and not go to the kitchen.

Finally, hours after bidding the brothers goodnight, MC threw herself on the bed. Her feet were aching, its footprints surely engraved in the carpet, and she forgot to take her headphones off, making the position uncomfortable, but the important thing was that she didn’t have the need to eat anymore.

However, Beel still knocked her door at dawn.

MC stared at him when she opened, bleary-eyed and mouth as dry as cotton, the hem of her pyjama pants so high they looked like pantaloons. He, on the other hand, was completely awake and seemed ready to conquer the day.

“Before you say anything, I’m not going to the gym today”

There was a heavy silence for a couple of seconds.

“Then why did you wake me up? We have classes tomorrow”

Beel stared at her with a worried expression.

“We don’t. It’s Saturday”

“Ah”

She could’ve sleep longer? MC wished she was mad at him, but his puppy stare was hypnotizing.

“I want to go for a walk today. And I want you to come with me”

He lowered his gaze for a moment, biting his cheek while waiting for an answer. MC turned around and looked at the window, still unable to decipher what time it was by looking at the sky.

There were a few things MC missed from the human realm. The sun was one of them.

“We could go to the park, feed some birds and then have breakfast somewhere else. I swear I won’t eat the seeds this time"

She chuckled, rolling her eyes when he smiled back. Then she looked down at the rolled pants and her bare legs.

“Is it cold?”

“I don’t think so, but you can borrow my jacket”

MC sighed and rubbed her eyes, waiting until the white spots disappeared before walking towards her closet. She wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again, she knew that.

“Let me change and then we’re going. But you owe me one, Beel!”

His smile was too wide for him to answer.

.

.

Breakfast with Beel ended up lasting three whole hours, which was understandable, and they spent the whole time talking about nothing and almost everything, both of them clearly avoiding the subject of her sleeping habits.

MC really did want to talk about it, but then again, what did she want to talk about exactly? She had trouble falling asleep, yes, and she’d gone back to eating her feelings, but she couldn’t point out the reason. Her nights were filled with paranoia, making her revaluate every piece of interaction she’d had since she got back home from the Devildom months ago. Did she spoke correctly? Did people understand that she was just studying abroad and not begging for attention?

She hoped her best friend dropped those accusations. MC would never stoop so low. Just thinking about it brought tears to her eyes.

“Don’t you want anything else?”

MC looked at Beel and the stack of plates surrounding him at the table, mugs and cardboard boxes stained with chocolate, whipped cream and frosting. Her side of the booth was much cleaner, but when she lowered her gaze the only thing she could think of were mugcakes and pasta and the taste of bile in her mouth at the sight of her bloated stomach.

“No, I’m fine”

She knew he loved her. She knew she could talk to him and he would listen and maybe even hold her hand, but the small restaurant was already filled with demons and witches and whatnot and MC knew she’d only be able to sob the moment she’d open her mouth, so she stayed quiet.

Beel nodded, going back to his food with a strange calmness. Maybe he was close to being full?

But no, it wasn’t that.

MC gasped when she felt his foot weakly tapping hers before going under it to support its weight. A small comfort, like the prelude of a long awaited hug.

He didn’t know how much she appreciated it.

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Winter had already reached the Devildom the day MC opened her closet and stared at her clothes. No matter what she chose, everything was at least a size bigger.

She guessed finally going to the gym with Beel did have some payoff.

“Is something wrong, MC?”

Asmo turned the lights of her bathroom off, walking where she was silently standing while staring at the discarded clothes around her.

“You don’t feel like dressing up today? We can stay home and do some self-care if you want”

MC turned around to look at him with gratitude. She knew how much he wanted to go shopping, especially with her. Finals ended just the day before and everyone had been so occupied they’d barely seen each other outside classes and meal times.

“Don’t worry, it’s not that. It’s just that… everything feels wrong. I think I lost weight”

He chuckled at her revelation, hugging her waist and kissing her cheek between giggles.

“You’re taking care of yourself, silly! Whatever are you doing with Beel in the gym, I wonder…?”

She laughed and lightly hit his arm, showing no ill intent, and Asmo smiled in response, not bothering to hide his lewd expression.

“Don’t be nasty!”

 “Oh, I’m just joking! But you know what this means, right? We get to renew your whole closet!”

MC turned around again, perfectly knowing that she could either spent her monthly allowance on clothes or start thinking on how she could rock the oversize streetwear style.

She sighed, trying to hide her smile with no success before speaking again. Asmo’s eyes were stuck on her.

“Very well, then” she wasn’t finish talking yet when the demon clapped his hands and jumped in excitement “I’ll trust your criteria”

He gasped and hit her arm in return.

“As you should!”

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“So… how do I look?”

Mammon whistled, clapping and signalling her to turn around in response. Once she did a little twirl, he clapped even harder, not stopping even when she blushed in embarrassment and ran towards him to stop his overly excited appreciation.

“You look mighty fine, MC!”

“Stop!”

“Has anyone ever told you how hot you look?”

“Stop!!”

They were both laughing, her chasing him all around his room with burning cheeks and a gigantic smile.

The shopping bags waited patiently at the door, half of them already empty with a pile of clothes folded on the couch. Mammon had insisted on a private catwalk the moment he learnt she’d gone shopping with Asmo, his offense completely gone barely half an hour after starting the show in his room.

Every time she changed in his opened closet he’d cover his eyes with his hands and every time she came out with a new outfit he’d scream praises like a madman.

MC wasn’t used to this level of compliments and he sure was making it hard to stay calm.

“C’mon, go change again!”

“You’re acting insane right now, Mams”

She was smiling like crazy and her cheeks were hurting, but she didn’t want it to stop. When was the last time someone had been this hyped over her looking pretty? She couldn’t remember.

Then her phone rang.

MC stopped smiling when she saw the name on the screen.

She thought about answering and spoiling a nice evening because of a sour one-sided conversation. Was it worth it? Sure her friend could wait a couple more hours, right? She’d survived without MC the whole year she spent at the Devildom uncommunicated, after all.

“Is it The Unnameable?”

MC stared at her phone for one more second before turning around to look at Mammon, who was kneeling on the couch with his arms crossed over the backrest, eyes peeking with curiosity and another feeling she couldn’t identify.

“The Unname… Robdemor??”

He nodded, blushing and looking away.

“Yeah. You know, like, her name brings bad luck or some shit”

“She doesn’t bring bad luck”

MC didn’t sound as convincing as she wanted to and Mammon’s incredulity proved her point.

“Don’t be stupid, MC”

The pot calling the kettle back, she wanted to say, but no words came to her mouth. She was being stupid, wasn’t she? Everyone at the house already knew what to expect whenever her phone ringed or vibrated and they always did their best to distract her so she could leave the damn thing behind. She suspected Belphie even turned it off at one point.

Staring at her feet, trying to voice her feelings, MC talked again.  

“She just… needs me sometimes”

“Sometimes??”

Mammon got up, going around the couch to reach her. He looked flabbergasted, eyes opened wide and a myriad of words stuck in his throat.

The phone stopped ringing, but soon a flood of messages interrupted the silence to call for her attention instead. When she looked back at Mammon, he had frustration in his eyes.

She decided then she couldn’t bear to see him like this, so serious and reasonable. Was it too late to go back to chasing each other, laughing while trying new clothes? She’d been capable of keeping her feelings to herself since she could remember, but Mammon wouldn’t let her do that and she feared the moment the rest of the brothers decided enough was enough too.

God, she needed to talk, but not right now. Talking would make it real and she still wasn’t strong enough for the whole situation to be real.

In a matter of seconds her eyes were watering and she felt as if her throat had thorns stuck in her flesh, but before she could do anything about it there were arms wrapping around her. MC wasted no time hugging Mammon back, trying her hardest not to spoil any tears. The tags in the back of her new shirt poked her skin, making her squirm and get even closer to Mammon’s body.

He was rocking her side to side while petting her hair and there was no doubt he’d deny the whole ordeal happening afterwards, but she let herself enjoy the feeling anyways. It was nice being taken care of.

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It was the first time MC had gone to bed so early since before college. Her eyelids felt heavy and the bed was soft and comfortable, at least three blankets shielding her from the cold outside that froze her window and sunk her room in darkness.

But she couldn’t stop staring at her phone.

She’d turned the vibration off days ago, but that didn’t stop the notifications from showing up on the lock screen and, although she could also take care of that, MC still wanted to be able to read the messages without needing to open the app.

Her best friend talked about everything, good or bad. Mostly bad. How she thought her boyfriend was cheating on her, even when she was the one cheating on him, how much she was eating because there was no one to stop her, how tired she was to even clean her cat’s litter box. She’d say if MC were there everything would be so much better, she wouldn’t feel so lonely.

She didn’t ask about MC once.

“You’re thinking so hard it’s giving me a headache”

MC’s body violently jerked at Belphie’s voice.

He’d entered the room in silence, closing the door and approaching her bed without making any noise. Seeing her freaking out made him snicker, but he was too tired to fully laugh and simply laid down next to her.

“Jesus, Belphie”

“No, just me”

“Ha ha ha”

Her sarcasm didn’t affect him in the slightest. MC watched as he closed his eyes and offered his hand to held hers in a firm grasp, probably not wanting to let her go during the night.

“Turn that damn thing off” he growled against the pillow when a new message showed up.

“I’ve seen you sleep on the ground before; you can’t complain about some light”

“Watch me”

She thought he was just joking, challenging her like a small child would, but Belphie managed to surprise her when he rolled over her body, grabbed the phone and threw it to the other side of the room.

“Belphie!”

He shushed, sealing her lips under his hand before hugging her body with all four limbs, trapping her under the covers.

MC could’ve complained and hit him until he let her go to retrieve the phone, but that would’ve meant pissing him off and staring at the screen for another hour or until her friend decided it was time to show some interest in MC’s life.

…

Whoa.

…

So that’s what it was.

That simple, uh?

MC waited for something to happen at her epiphany. Nausea, panic, heavy breathing. Instead, she felt an overpowering sense of relief. Her heartbeat evened and the frown she didn’t know she had in her forehead disappeared.

No headache, no memories. For once, no nothing.

“You’re not dying, aren’t you?”

Belphie’s head rose, looking at her with suspicion, but her eyes were stuck in the ceiling.

“Why? Would you feel guilty?

He stood over her then, pouting and frowning, and MC had to stop herself from laughing.

“Okay, you know what? I already said I was sorry. You can’t hold that against me for the rest of your life”

“I will as long as I can get something out of it”

“You’re evil”

“Said the demon”

His head fell face first on the pillow with a thud and if she didn’t know him any better, she’d be worried about him suffocating to death during the night.

“Why did you ask that, tho?” MC finally talked.

“Your heart stopped for a second” he shrugged and mumbled, his hold on her hand stronger than before.

“Oh… Well… Don’t worry. I’m okay”

“Are you sure?”

No, not really, but she didn’t want to talk about it in that moment. Maybe another time, when her speech wasn’t slurred due to sleep and she could organize her thoughts with a clear mind.

She hummed as an answer before speaking one last time.

“Goodnight, Belphie”

“Sweet dreams, MC”

He’d make sure of that.

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MC had been quiet for a while. Not out of sadness nor ire, but something much more private. Something that left her pensive and still, staring into nothing with a serious expression. She laughed and talked with the brothers and, from what he heard, she enjoyed going to the gym with Beel, but Lucifer knew there was another factor escaping his reach.

Whatever it was, it changed MC for the better, so he was happy.

Even when the strangest ideas crossed her mind.

“I think I’m going to cut my hair”

He looked at her, clicking his tongue in disapproval when he saw her sitting sideways in one of the chairs with her feet resting in the other. She had a book resting in her lap. How long had she been looking at him and not reading?

“May I ask why?”

“I need a change”

Lucifer stared, taking his glasses off before crossing his arms over the document he was previously reading. MC got up and walked, zigzagging her way towards his desk as if she was drunk, but she looked as hopeful as ever.

“Did something happen?”

She nodded, ignoring his question right after.

“One of these days I’m just gonna… grab a glass of wine, go to the bathroom and bam! Haircut”

He raised an eyebrow, trying to hide a smile at her words. He hadn’t seen her so playful in months and the sudden change felt like a breath of fresh air.

“Do you even like wine, MC?”

“That’s not the point”

“And you shouldn’t use scissors while drunk, especially near your head” he ignored her “If it’s money you’re worried about, I can pay for a good hairdresser”

She laughed and shook her head, partially sitting on the desk. They stayed silent for a few seconds and Lucifer let himself observe her, how she bit her bottom lip deep in thought and how her fingers intertwined with a certain force. She was probably hurting herself at that point.

“I just really need a change”

He could tell there was more she wanted to say, but that seemed to be enough for the moment. The silence afterwards felt full with comfort.

“That’s fine”

MC nodded and sent him a small smile before going back to the chair, this time sitting with her knees stuck to her chest, but before he could put his glasses on to continue his work, she spoke again.

“Here’s what we’re going to do: I cut my hair in the bathroom and then you take me to the hairdresser to style it. Sounds good?”

“Are you going to drink while using the scissors?”

“I’m not a child, Lucifer”

“Might as well”

“Hey!”

“Just joking” he laughed, but MC could tell there was some seriousness behind his smile.

“I drink wine, I cut my hair and you check I don’t stab myself on accident, how about that?”

Lucifer pondered about it, envisioning himself behind her and watching over her reflection in the mirror, a bottle of wine in the countertop and another of Demonus waiting for them in the music room. She’d be the one to clean the aftermath, that bit was obvious, but something told him she wouldn’t really care about that.

The more he thought about it, the less strength he had to fight it. She could’ve asked Asmodeus or Mammon, but she asked him. MC wanted him to be with her during her progress, as stupid as the method was.

“Sounds like a plan to me, MC”

Her smile at his words was worth millions.

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.

It wasn’t until several hours had passed that MC wondered if Levi invited her to his room with a hidden motive in mind.

The anime came out less than a day ago and she’d never even seen an ad about it, but he’d thoroughly claimed it was made for her.

And she could see why he would say that, honestly.

Sure, no ancient dying star granted her any mystical powers that allowed her to soar the skies or wear an alarmingly short sparkly dress; and she didn’t have an animal sidekick or a romantic interest that only appeared at night for some reason. She didn’t have an arch nemesis either, but she did have the closest thing.

MC was the selfish one, apparently, because how could she? How could MC have the audacity to ignore her best friend’s messages in her desperate times of need? Her boyfriend broke up with her because he discovered the cheating and no one was there to remind her of feeding the cat, neither to monitor her diet nor to fix the consequences of her bad decisions. She was in the lowest point of her life and MC dared to lose weight and spend time with her new friends? Outrageous!

MC unlocked her phone and stared in silence at the new text and voice messages, as well as some missed calls.

You disappoint me, MC.

After all I did for you?

I’ll die and it’ll be your fault.

I’ll die and I’ll make sure you’re the one to discover my body.

You’ll never be able to forget about me then.

You’re disgusting.

MC stared at the screen, not knowing if she should laugh or cry about it. In the end she chuckled and forced down the sting in her throat.

The TV in front of her suddenly turned into a kaleidoscope and she squinted as the heroine jumped from platform to platform, blasting her wand and singing spells. If she understood correctly, the cheery character was fighting her way through the first big boss of the season, her friends close behind her.

She could feel Levi’s eyes on her, no doubt studying her reactions to see if she liked the anime as much as he did.

“Hey, Henry!”

MC turned to look at him and smiled brightly at his rosy cheeks. She expected him to explain some hidden lore or the meaning behind the soundtrack, but he surprised her with his next words.

“Yeah?”

“I haven’t told you yet, but your hair looks so cool!”

“Oh!” she widely opened her eyes in appreciation, showing her teeth in a beaming smile right after “Thanks, Levi!”

“You look… eh… upgraded. Well, no, not upgraded. Erm…” he avoided her gaze for the next few seconds before pausing the anime, letting the room go back to silence. MC kept quiet, trying not to laugh at his awkwardness so he wouldn’t misunderstand the situation.

“You look really pretty, MC. Even better than her”

Levi nodded at the TV and MC stared at the heroine, the pause conveniently showing her winning pose. Big sparkly eyes winking at her and a knowing smile occupying half of her face, as if she was approving Levi’s affirmation.

MC felt the need to cry right then and there, but she held it in.

Her phone lighted up one last time before she grabbed it and turned it off in anger. She had a couple of seconds before the screen permanently went back to black, letting her read the last message.

Who do you think you are? How could you do this to me?

MC seethed. She knew who she was, even if she was still learning. Her hands itched and she forced herself not to throw the phone on the ground with all her strength. She still needed it to talk to other friends and relatives, after all.

After an entire minute filled with tense silence, MC spoke, suddenly meek and shy.

 “Hey Lev…”

“MC?”

He was staring her with caring eyes, unsure of what to do or what to say.

Fortunately, for the first time in a long while, MC knew what she needed to do. For herself and no one else.

“Would you help me change my phone number?”

She could write down the numbers of those she cared about the most and send a message asking them not to share hers without her permission.

Take care of her arch nemesis without destroying the entire world. Accept the help of people who showed joy at her improvement. Buy new clothes, change her style, cut her hair.

God, walking without that heavy weight on her shoulders would be difficult and painful, but she’d rather die before letting her ex best friend destroy her will and power one last time.

She laughed with a choke and Levi gasped her name.

She was crying.

.

.

.

@ourfinalisation

#obey me #obey me! shall we date? #om! shall we date #om! swd #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me writing #obey me x reader #obey me x female reader #obey me hurt/comfort #obey me angst #obey me fluff

[alexxncl]

obey me hcs (mainly the brothers)

masterlist | more drabbles/hcs | pt 2

keep in mind my mc is black lol

slight nsfw warning ?? it's just asmo shape-shifting

also this is so long i apologize

first and foremost, SIMEON AND DIA AFROLATINO KINGS

the two of them and mams always help mc with wash day

barbatos also does bc he helps dia with his hair and will silk press the FUCK out your hair

mams can do locs and helped the angels in the celestial realm who had them with their retwists and detox

mc convinced him to start a business on the side bc they could tell how much he loved doing their hair

beel loves kids and they love him, he's a jungle gym

levi used to (and still does) go mute when he's overwhelmed, luci and mammon taught themselves sign language in case they need to communicate with him

luci was ridiculously overprotective of the brothers when they fell, but the longer they stayed in the devildom, it was less obvious bc his pride didn't allow him to show those emotions outright

asmo can change his genitalia at will depending on his partner's needs/desires

all the brothers are some sort of neurodivergent, and so is (my) mc

this is kinda canon but all of them are queer and luci is the only cis one out of all the brothers

mc helped them become more comfortable with stimming both in the main tl and in nb bc they do it a lot themself

mams, barbatos, and luci are the best to go to when your anxiety gets bad bc they all have it and know how to handle it best/take your mind off of it

idk if this is canon or not but luci advocated for a hybrid-like rad so levi would be able to take some of his classes virtual when his anxiety gets too bad

mc has touched everyone's tails/wings out of pure curiosity once everyone was comfortable enough around them

mams always carries around crow food and birds are almost always following him around bc of it

luci and dia fucked before the fall.

mc started singing wade in the water whenever luci made them do shit and now mams does it too

mc rarely left their room after the lesson 16 incident and everyone but belphie checked up on them

lucifer forbade him from going anywhere near them but he still tried to at least see if they were ok

lucifer is *almost* physically incapable of apologizing bc of his sin

mams rarely uses his powers to their fullest extent, he did it once not too long after they fell and vowed to never do it again out of fear of hurting the people he cared about

satan's powers are equally fueled by wrath and grief

satan was with lucifer from his creation, god didn't wanna make both of them bc he knew satan would be the catalyst for a war

asmo and solomon almost dated but asmo pushed himself away bc he's scared of committment

levi had to physically hold mammon back from *seriously* hurting belphie after the lesson 16 incident

solomon is lilith's son

solomon is actually a decent cook when he doesnt try to experiment...but he always tries to experiment

magic can't even fix whatever he makes when he cooks

simeon can't see for shit but never wears his glasses

beel had and still has a lot of body image issues, his gluttony worsened them and he works out nonstop to cope

belphie listens to white noise on the rare occasion of him not being able to sleep

simeon would've fallen with luci if he found out what was happening and had more time to think, part of the reason why he was so ok with being demoted

dia wanted to be the closest to belphie when they first fell bc of their shared interest in humans and was hurt when belphie was standoffish

luke will be one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, angels in history

i feel like he was a human and he died when he was really young and became an angel after

mephisto is a kpop stan and ults stayc

he compensates for his low self esteem and jealousy of luci and dia's friendship with the newspaper position

he also has a crush on both of them but wont admit it to himself

raph scolded the brothers so much bc they were his favorites, he didn't want them getting caught by god

felt guilty for letting the brothers fall alone, but not nearly as guilty as simeon

thirteen is a lesbian and i love her and we're married <333333

she hates solomon bc he was one of her assignments and she failed bc he's immortal

familial issues bc of the failure, she's the baby of the family but was still outcast

mc taught mams how to play spades and he's terrible at it

i'm so sorry 😭

#obey me nightbringer #obey me #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me black mc #obey me thirteen #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me mephistopheles #obey me raphael #obey me luke #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me nb #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me headcanon #obey me headcanons #obey me hcs #obey me x black mc

[nightfall-kachiniko]

AOT girls (+hange) react to you saying you hate them ‧₊˚✩彡

aot girls angst // mikasa, annie, pieck, hange, hitch, sasha

tw// description of depression, toxic behaviors, eating habits, unhealthy coping. ִ ࣪𖤐

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ mikasa

- she’d look so devastated. Like you’d literally see the light in her eyes fade. It would be like her whole world just crashed down on her, barley any oxygen left to breathe. And whatever the argument was about would go straight out the window. Just, you just said it. That’s all that would matter. Is that you told her that you hated her.

- it’d seem like she was being dramatic about it but she was serious, mikasa doesn’t take that stuff lightly. She would find everything she does harder now. I don’t even think she’d have the mental strength to train anymore. What’s the point in training if you hate her? Whats the point of even existing if you hate her? She’d just keep thinking about the look on your face when you said it to her, just repeating the whole thing in her mind for what seemed like forever. It would really break her.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ annie

- “YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO!” she’d say. Annie projects her saddens through anger, so she’d have a violent emotional reaction. Maybe throw something (not at you ofc) but she’d get really mad. Then she’d go up to her room and just sob. Just cry like she’s never cried before. She’d be irritable next days. Snapping quickly, more antisocial, that kind of stuff.

- Her behavior would change. I feel like she’d take it out a lot on her training. She’d probably cry herself to sleep just thinking about what happened.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ pieck

- she refuses to believe it. But there’s still that thought in the back of her head. ‘What if you did mean it?’ She wouldn’t know what to do. Even though you said those words. Even though the hate was in ur tone. There’s just.. no way you’d actually mean it.. do you?

- she’d go blank space in meetings. Commander Magath would have to snap her back into it sometimes just because of how fogged her head would’ve gotten. She’d blow up your phone trying to get confirmation. Just, she just needs to know. Please just tell her did you mean it?

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ hange

- she’d laugh in your face. Hange wouldn’t take you seriously. I mean how could you hate her?! Hah no way. It wouldn’t bother her that much until she’d stop getting your calls. Stop getting your messages. Until her heart would drop at the ‘blocked’ message she’d get.

- theyd think of everything they could’ve possibly did wrong. They wouldn’t even be able to focus on their work. Being the commander would feel 10x more stressful. God even sleeping would be stressful to them. Her bubbly personality would just fade as the days past. Even Levi noticed it and probably tried to talk with you even at hanges protest.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ hitch

- Kind of like Annie, but hitch is Can be hella toxic. She’d tell you that she’s glad you hate her because she was getting bored of being with you. She’d tell you how you’re just another problem in her life. She wouldn’t mean it though, but then again, she said it. You said it too.

- i feel like she’d act hard and try to one up you. Like impulsively getting with a new person and making out with them in front of you 😭. But inside she just wants you back.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ sasha

- would question what she did. Like she’d be so confused and hurt and try to get an answer out of you but eventually would get exhausted of begging. Is it something she did wrong? Is she the problem?

- canon that when she’s stressed/ distressed she doesn’t eat that much, but I feel like Sasha would either binge eat as comfort or just barley eat at all. She’d just feel so guilty to be able to do anything but think about what she did wrong. And hell she doesn’t even know what she did wrong.

#mikasa headcanons #mikasa x reader #attackontitan #mikasa ackerman x y/n #mikasa ackerman x you #mikasa ackerman imagines #shingeki no kyojin mikasa #mikasa ackerman scenarios #mikasa ackerman x reader #mikasa ackerman headcanons #mikasa x s/o #mikasa x reader angst #mikasa x depressed reader #mikasa x reader fluff #annie leonhart headcanon #annie leonhart x you #annie leonhart x y/n #annie leonhart headcanons #annie leonhart imagine #annie leonhart x reader #pieck finger x reader #pieck finger angst #pieck finger headcanons #hangezoe #hange zoe x reader #hanji zoe x reader #hitch dreyse x reader #sasha blouse x reader #sasha braus #sasha x reader

[oopsiedaisymae]

2 and 7 for the MC ask game?

i see this ask and i raise you: all of them

what are they in relation to you? (a self insert, an oc, etc)

my mc is an oc named winter barnett. she's got a lot in common with me but i consider her an original, separate character from myself.

on a scale of 1-10 how badly do they want to punch lucifer?

honestly like a three? she respects him a lot and trusts him more than she probably should. she likes his logical nature and sees that he's trying to keep the family together in his own way. she does get a little irritated when his pride becomes overbearing, though

would the punch hurt

no. she's 5'3" and weak, there's only so much damage she can do to a massive demon like him

what is their nightbringer text background?

probably something like a scenic photo of the starry night sky or the snow. simple but sweet

where are they from in the human world?

vermont, USA

would they have sparkles around the whip in surprise guest

no but she'd be surprised at how eager she is to see if others do

levi forces them to cosplay with him but he lets them choose. what are they cosplaying as?

winter's got a soft spot for the winchesters from supernatural, and she'd be most comfortable dressed up as one of them because of all the layers. you know that john mulaney bit where they said to disrobe "to his comfort level" and he joked about putting on a sweater and corduroy pants? that's her

i give them a rock. what do they do with it

she'll thank you, wash it, and put it on a shelf in her room because it's a gift. priority seating among her knickknacks if it's a pretty or interesting looking rock

what are their thoughts on immortality? do they want to become immortal?

at first, she's staunchly against the idea of immortality and becoming one herself. she's just a normal human after all. but the longer she spends around demons and angels while finding purpose in the devildom, she starts to think it's not such a bad thing to stick around for awhile. solomon's immortality both frightens her and gives her hope-- he's so far from human in terms of his experiences, and yet... he's still on team humanity. something about that makes her feel like immortality might not be so bad one day

are they a good cook? (aka are they surviving while living with solomon in nightbringer)

winter's a decent cook, more out of necessity than a real zest for cooking. she's great at herding solomon out of the kitchen tho

what thing would they do enough times to the point that they could get their own @/radarchives complilation

wandering off like a cat and getting lost somewhere in the devildom. she has absolutely no idea where she is or where she's going and needs someone to walk her home. it's like that soup store bit trying to get her to describe her whereabouts to get rescued

what's their main sin?

envy, with a secondary sin of sloth

are they happy living in the devildom?

at first, winter is dazed and confused by the sudden change in her surroundings. she doesn't like living in a house with so many demons that don't care about her, especially after living on her own for as long as she has. it quickly exhausts her social battery and she wanders off to cope. but she finds herself liking the devildom after awhile. her budding friendships with the brothers guide her through the culture and new locations (this time with a proper guide), and she comes to build a home and community for herself that she never really got to have in the human world. by the time the exchange program ends, she's reluctant to leave for good. every time she comes back is a joyous occasion, and she'll set aside her introversion for a night of festivities celebrating her arrival. after all-- the devildom is her home now, too.

mc ask game by @/solomiracle

#obey me #obey me oc #obey me oc: winter barnett #daisy talks #daisy answers asks

[anlian-aishang]

I AM HOPPPPPPPPING ALONG, I SAW REQUESTS OPEN--

Okokokokok. May I have a oneshot in canonverse with Levi and reader - already in a relationship - where after an expedition the reader is struggling a lot. Like with low mood, anxiety or nightmares, and Levi is there to provide TLC? In his usual Levi way? Like with tea, soft physical gestures and-- just levi being soft in private with reader after an expedition?

no pressure !!!!! you know how much i love your oneshots! !!!!

Thank you so much for the request, @peace-for-levi! For more caretaking fluff, I have written some similar pieces here, here, and here ^^ I hope you enjoy ~ <3

Word count: 1500 Tags: levi x reader, sfw, canonverse, angst turned fluff, hurt-comfort, levi calls reader “princess”

Everyone had their own reactions to expeditions. Eren, of course, was angry as always. Mikasa would pine after him until he shooed her away, when she would then hole up in her room - knees hugged to her chest. Erwin was quick to head to the books, taking inventory of all that was lost, distracting him from the overwhelming guilt of overseeing it all. Hange buried themselves in their lab work, certain that if they could just make a breakthrough, they could prevent future tragedies. Everyone had their coping mechanisms. For the Scouts, they were as key to survival as any long-range formations or ODM maneuvers.

Still, all others believed that Levi remained immune to it all, that his prior upbringing in the underground had hardened him to the point of solidity. He had even volunteered himself and his squad to take on the most difficult task: alerting the families of those lost. His comrades took note that on those trying visits, he never once cried. He never cried. 

Until you had started a relationship with him, you also bought into that assumption, but only when you started spending your nights in his bed did you see how deeply he was affected by tragedy. He never wanted to talk things out, but he would smoke a cigarette out his bedroom window. He never wanted to go for a run, but he would stay up and active - tossing and turning all night. On especially trying missions, the insomniac would be knocked out for entire stretches of days. Even though the failures kept him up at night, his body would take over, forcing him to sleep - building back those muscles and regaining the energy he had exhausted beyond the walls.

Tonight, unfortunately for you, was one of those nights.

You were selfless beyond belief. Too selfless for your own good, as Levi put it. Though, for as much as he encouraged you to look after yourself, that selflessness was what caught his attention and ultimately snared your partner. You loved Levi. You admired his leadership. However, you still stayed stubborn in your ways: refusing to ask for help even from the man who loved you more than life. 

Off the brink of post-expedition nightmares - the titans, the screams, the terror - you were still quick to quell your instinctual need for safety. In the midst of reaching out to his figure, consideration stopped your movements. Moonlight on Levi’s skin revealed him to look so at peace. The even rise and fall of his breaths validated his calm. Survivor’s guilt, the bloodshed you had seen, were already weighing on you. If you were to wake Levi up from the first good sleep he had gotten all year, you were not sure you could bear it.

Such was what brought you here: in his living area, curled up on his recliner, bundled beneath a blanket and into a ball. Tears fell down your face, but your sobs were thwarted. The distant howls of wolves and winds were louder than any sound you made here. You were quiet on the outside, screaming on the inside. You had walked away from your comfort, but were yearning to rejoin him. If anyone were to come and ask if you were alright, you would vehemently nod even though the answer was no.

Back in the bedroom, Levi was also awake. Apparently you thought that deserting him would be the best for his rest, but the opposite was true. As soon as you departed, he could feel it. The mattress became uneven. The sheets lost their taut. Warmth had left his side, leaving him cold, empty, shivering - everything but content. 

You jumped at his shadow, squealed at his approaching footsteps. Of course, Levi noticed your reaction, and of course, it pained him. He took a deep breath, a shaky exhale you could hear, and took solace knowing he would make you feel better soon.

“Levi?” You leaned forward in the rocker, wooden creaks a complement to your anxious tone, “You’re awake?”

Levi continued his approach. Silver eyes shone down to you in pity. His palm pet your head, smoothing the tangles flat. His low voice cascaded, “Can’t sleep when you’re like this.”

“Oh, I…” you swallowed, “I’m sor-”

“No.” Levi put his hand atop yours, fingers curled around your wrist, keeping you sound in his hold, “Don’t be.”

At his command, your eyes rose to meet his eye contact. Not angry, just concerned. Tired, but not of you. Bruises ravaged his body. Cold sweat caked his bangs. Yet still, you caught a spark of alert and adrenaline - anticipating the opportunity to aid your ailments. Levi squeezed your hand tighter, “Can I make you something?” Leaning down just a bit, “A midnight snack? Some tea?”

“... Chamomile?”

A slight smile, “Chamomile.”

Levi gave another lingering pet, temporarily leaving your side, but not before reassuring you, “I’ll be right back.” The kitchen was just a handful of paces away. From there, you heard the drag of his drawer, the jostle of a box, and the strike of a match. Levi lit a candle for light, the stove for heat. 

You closed your eyes, leaned back, and oscillated in your chair. Back and forth. Back and forth. Levi opened his cabinets, stepped on his tip toes, and unscrewed the canister to his most valued tea. To him, this was the least he could do. To you, he was moving mountains.

A rustic squeak, Levi started his faucet, filling the pot just an inch beneath the brim. A metal clang, resting it atop the flame. Only steam, no boil, Levi propped his head in his hand, his hand on the counter, “You know, I’ve been thinking…” a silent yawn, “maybe we should take some personal days.”

“Personal days?”

“Exactly.” He blinked, “That’s why we should use them.”

You giggled, What a cutie. Folding your hands together, “But where would we go?”

The kettle was just about to scream, Levi snatched it before it could, “Doesn’t matter,” he tipped the lid back and poured the water into two ceramic mugs, “just somewhere away from here.” Levi lifted his attention from the drinks to you. A wink so swift, you wondered if it was real or imagined, “You’ve earned it.”

Somehow, after your many years together, he still managed to make your heart race. Breathless, you reciprocated his affection, “You too, Captain.”

Whenever you whipped out his pet name, it always turned his ears red. Levi flicked his head to the side, letting his locks cover them. “Don’t tell me, after all this time, you’re just a kiss-ass subordinate?”

You tossed your hands in the air, palms open to him, “Guilty.” Instead of easing up, you doubled-down. Biting your lip, batting your eyelashes, “Besides, isn’t Captain Levi too important to go on vacation?”

A flicker in his eyes, “I’m sure Erwin and Hange can handle.” Levi used his muted, joking tone, “Maybe they can put the hot-head in the dungeon again, stick the other Ackerman down there to supervise, I bet she’d do a great job.”

Levi extinguished the stove and carried over the candlelit lantern. Two cups of tea - one sweetened, one unsweetened - both steaming hot, Levi balanced them on his trek back to you. “Two hands,” he warned, “it’s hot.”

You grinned wide, teeth shining. That smile of yours, Levi thought, he could tell this was working. “Hot like my boyfriend.”

Levi rolled his eyes and scoffed, but in its wake, you swore you caught a smirk, “You really are just a kiss-ass.”

Levi joined you on the chair. He sat upright, reclined. You rested atop him, legs slung over the armrest, arms hugged around his neck. Silently, the two of you sipped your tea. Words reserved, but sentiments spoken. Sturdy, he was here for you. Wrapped, you were tied to him. Levi had your happiness. You had that connection. With those promises, both of you began to lower your defenses, too tired to fight off the wave of 3 AM tire.

Fingers lazily threaded through his locks, “And what will we do on our days off?”

Levi nuzzled himself into your neck, your chest his favorite pillow, “Whatever you want, princess.”

Ten minutes. A half-hour. An hour. In the pitch black night, neither of you could keep track. For that length of time, you rattled off all the potential activities for your time away. For each one, Levi nodded, his Mhms increasingly sleepy. Eventually, you both had drifted off to sleep - that anticipated vacation leading the way of your dreams.

Those dreams in your future. Harsh nightmares in your past. Now, at last, and together, both of you could rest easy. 

// masterlist //

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #levi #levi ackerman #fluff #angst #2022 #oneshot #request #anlian writes #my writing #alias's

[rouge-variant]

Hello! I loved the fic you wrote for me so I have another Levi Ackerman x femreader request in the canon universe where they're not in a relationship yet and are enemies and he's the usual cold Captain whereas she is his cadet. For the plot, I was thinking of Levi being so annoyed at the reader that he orders her to do a personal expedition with him but he starts to notice that she's not her usual sharp self towards him and then she ends up fainting or something and he has to look after her. Preferably where they're in the middle of a forest somewhere and it's getting dark so he has to set up a camp for them both. Fluff, angst and hurt/comfort would be much appreciated. Hope that's okay, thanks :)

Absolutely!!! I'm so glad that you came back!!! I gave you an ask earlier, asking if you wanted this to be 'enemies to lovers' or 'enemies to friends'. My Tumblr has been glitching so I'm not sure if you saw it or not but you've been waiting for this for too long so I'm sending it now. Let me know if you wanted it changed to enemies to friends! I struggled with writing this one but I still enjoyed it, so let me know if there's anything you wanted changed! Thanks for your request and I hope you enjoy!!!

Levi Ackerman x Y/n: Wrong Idea

Trigger Warning: there will be mentions of fainting and Levi and Y/n being idiot jerks to each other because they don't know what to do with their emotions. Nothing too serious but please keep this in mind while you read.

He hated you and you hated him. How else did it need to be said? It was clear that Levi never wanted you in his space and you never wanted him in your space. Yet Erwin still assigned you to Levi's sqaud, where you have to deal with him. Every. Single. Day.

Last time you checked, you didn't do anything to receive this poor treatment. Levi just decided, 'sure let's be angry at Y/n just because we can' and it pisses you off.

So like an other person would do, you ignored him. You already had constant missions to worry about and you didn't need to have an additional distraction. Since you've been added to Levi's sqaud, you've constantly found him to be critiquing you more than anyone else. You're better with your ODM skills than Oulo. The added pressure hasn't help either. You're a pretty sensitve person under the surface and you take the negativity poorly. As a result, you started training more on your own, often overworking yourself and staying out past curfew which only increases the nagging from Levi.

Your behavior didn't make any sense to Levi. He thought that you were going to back off and start listening to him more after constant punishments and harsh scoldings during training. Yet you still continued to sneak out late and find other ways to piss him off. You were going to get yourself killed one of these days and he didn't need to add another person to the list of soldiers he failed to protect.

This was your fault. It was your fault that he was mixing up his emotions and struggling to get you out of his head during the long night his insomnia kept him up. He's never felt like this before and it scared him. He hated the idea of seeing you go out on a mission and not come home. But you were always so reckless that you created a distraction to him, which is why he constantly was harsh to you. It was the only way he could cope with the confusing emotion that you created.

He planned to end this and get you to stop being a reckless brat. So when the next supply base check in approached, Levi planned to take you alone with him. Maybe once you two were away from the rest of the nosey Scouts, you'll finally tell him what's going on and the problem will be solved.

"What?! Since when have you taken your subordinates individually on missions?" You snapped once Levi had told you the plan. Just what you needed. More one-on-one time with your 'favorite' person. If your words affect him, Levi didn't show.

"We leave at sunrise tomorrow" he responded then dismissed you from his office. You left with a loud slam of his door and made your way back to your room. You were exhausted and dizzy from missing dinner. You knew that you weren't going to be able to keep up to his standards tomorrow, let alone your own but you refused to take a night off of your grueling night training.

The following day, you were ready to go waiting for Levi in the stables. Your horse already tacked up and ready to go. You gave Levi a nod as a greeting and the two of you headed out in silence. You knew the route to the supply base at the old castle ruins well as you often joined Hange when it was their turn to check on it. Levi led his horse ahead of you which you were very grateful for. Your mind was all foggy with exhaustion and your body ached in pain from overexertion due to pushing yourself too hard last night. You used more of your energy to focus on keeping your balance on your horse than focusing n your surroundings which gained Levi's attention.

"Brat have you been listening to me?" He scoffed, startling you out of your haze momentarily.

"Of course I have. I didn't find it interesting enough to keep listening Captain" you sassed and pushed forward. Levi rolled his eyes, giving up the battle for now. He knew something was up, more than usual, but your stubborn self wasn't helping his investigation. He would press more once you finished the initial mission since the remains of the castle were now in sight. You smiled slightly at the sight of the castle as it would give you a break from your captain's presence.

"Give me the list and I'll start the initial inspection," you said after getting off your horse and leaning against them to steady yourself from the sudden dizzy spell that hit. Levi raised an eyebrow at your sudden weakness as you've never had problems getting down from the animal.

"No, I want you waiting here until whatever 'that'," he referred to your unsteadiness, "has passed. I'll start" He ended the conversation and headed into where the Scouts hid their supplies. Once he was out of sight, you mocked him silently and sat against the wooden post that the horses were tied to. You hated the way his concern made your heart flutter. You were supposed to hate him, not act like a lovestruck idiot. Besides, you already felt like crap, you didn't need to throw 'love' into the mix.

Your head started pounding from your exhausted state and you had to fight against your eyelids to stay alert for when Levi returned. This hasn't happened before and the black dots gathering in your eyesight, started to scare you. Maybe you really did push yourself too hard. But Levi would never let you live it down if you ended up passing out on his watch.

"Oi Brat, you're up" the piece of paper was shoved into your hands as Levi suddenly appeared in front of you. His brows furrowed at your slow reaction and he was about to point it out but you got up quickly.

"Took you long en-*ngg*" Yup not your smartest move. The dizziness came back three times worse and suddenly the small black dots became one giant blur as you felt yourself fall.

"Y/N?!" Levi grabbed you and held you against him to break your fall. You were unresponsive as he shifted his hold and lowered you to the ground gently. You were still breathing, much to his relief. But you were in no condition to travel back home. So instead, he picked you up and made his way inside and up to the higher levels of the castle. That way, you both had cover from the Titans come the early morning in case you still didn't wake up by then. He made a makeshift bedroll for you from some of the blankets the supply base had and covered you with his cloak while he started a fire.

"What the hell have you done to yourself Y/n?" he muttered softly so as to not disrupt your sleep. He knew that this was partly on him as well but for now, you waking up was the top thing on his mind. He reached over and moved the stray hair out of your face before letting you be.

"Smart Levi, real smart" he scolded himself for his actions that led to this while he watched the sun finish setting.

It took until midday for you to wake up. This time, feeling far more refreshed than other times. You unwrapped yourself from the blankets but let Levi's cloak on, finding comfort in it, before making your way down to find him. He was with the horses and the minute yours smelt you, it whinnied, getting his attention. You've never seen Levi's face relax, so seeing it now was a complete shock. But it made your heart flutter nonetheless.

"Good to see you finally woke up. Care to explain what happened yesterday?" Levi's voice was demanding but it was gentler than normal. You dropped your gaze as you responded.

"I fainted, what else do you need to know?" you mumbled. Footsteps caused you to lift your head and have his steel eyes bore into yours.

"I need to know the cause behind it...because I know that I'm partially responsible for it" he sighed and it made you relax slightly.

"You think? Took you long enough" you scoffed trying to cover up the vulnerable side you were showing at the moment but his glare quickly made you correct yourself.

"Your scoldings during training have made me feel like you see me as unworthy of being part of your squad, so I've started doing extra training into the evenings to make up for it but I guess I've pushed myself too far" you hated how easily the confession fell out of your mouth. Levi responds with only a nod, leading to several seconds of silence before he speaks up again.

"I see. I should've caught onto that earlier. This was a mistake on my part" that was the closest you've ever heard to Levi apologizing to you were going to take it. You nodded and muttered out a quiet thanks before falling silent again.

"I'm glad to see that you're doing better now. You gave me quite a scare yesterday" he speaks up again, shocking you for the second time. Since when did he finally care about you instead of hating you?

"I've never hated you Y/n" oh crap, you said that out loud didn't you?

"I'm your captain, that itself means that you are under my protection, but lately there's been another reason. One that I'm struggling with understanding is why I treated you the way I did. I'm in love with you Y/n but that scares me. I don't want to see you leave just like everyone else that I've cared for. Losing you is something I don't think I can handle" he rambles and his ears heat up. You, on the other hand, are at a loss for words. He loves you? Captain Levi, the man who you thought hated your guts, is in love with you.

" I am too," you say quietly. If he just confessed to you, then why not do it as well. He was going to find out sooner or later.

"I've only been trying to be someone who you respect in your squad instead of a burden"

"You've always had my respect for your skills. it was your attitude that was the problem" You chuckled at his remark.

"Then maybe this is something we can work on together if you wanted to" you offered and Levi nodded with a softer expression.

"I like that. But for now, let's get you home. I want you getting more rest as soon as we get back" He took your hands and pulled you along gently.

"Aye Captain" You smiled and Levi shook his head.

"Just Levi when we're alone Y/n" he corrected and your smile grew.

"Aye Levi!"

Who would've thought that the two of you both ended up sharing the same feelings? Erwin did, that's why he placed you two together in the first place. He knew that you guys would make it work and he was tired of seeing Levi act like a love-sick idiot all the time, in his own way. Now hopefully this will create more peace and maybe make his friend enjoy life a little more now that Levi has you by his side.

#levi ackerman fluff #aot x reader #levi ackerman x y/n #levi x you #levi ackerman #aot x y/n #levi x reader #drabbles #levi x reader hurt comfort #levi x reader angst #levi Ackerman x Y/n fluff #levi ackerman x reader #Levi ackerman x Y/n

[nelapanela94]

WHEN THE STARS FALL ASLEEP - Part 1

tw: Pining, angst, SMUT (masturbation), swearing, fluff, hurt/comfort, Levi babysitting, child abuse in chapt 17. Canonverse (set in years 844-845)

wc: ~35k

Summary: A glance, a word, hands holding, kissing, making love. Levi and Y/N's love story does not stick to these steps. Their journey takes some detours between valleys, mountains, turbulent rivers and abysses that end up destroying cracked hearts. Will they be able to patch each other up? Ft. Hange playing cupid, a shoulder to cry on, and the best adviser.

AO3 ⭐ When the stars fall asleep masterlist ⭐ part 2 - the night the meteorite crashed into the earth

If you had the chance to save everything that matters to you, would you grab it and hold onto it? even if it shears scraps in your skin? Or would you loosen up your grip and let it slip away?

Chapter guide

A wide smile creeps across your lips

And thus was born our blue staggler

More stardust in my life

And sparks ignited the first time we spoke to each other under the stars

Can we skip the chit-chat and kiss? - part 1

Can we skip the chit-chat and kiss? - part 2

Cursed jacket

Lovesick

You have me spinning in your orbit

Now I understand sad poems

Where are the stars tonight?

Angel the boy of sword bones

Alice, the girl of broken dreams

Vico, the boy who pees his pants

Levi, the boy who survived with cracks in his heart

Moon days and rowdy hormones

Why did I agree to this?

Under Mitras sky

With you everything feels alright

Haunting past

Hello everyone!!! Finally after months of thinking writing deleting crying and redoing everything over again, I finished part 1 of 6 of this series. This part comprises twenty chapters, each one made-up of 800 to 4000 words.

Some chapters brought me to tears, while others stole giddy giggles from me. We all need balance.

I'll be posting the chapters throughout the weekend. Please cope with me fixing the navi links.

Don't forget to check in the masterlist the triggering warnings because future parts will be dark and heartwrenching. I'll be adding more warnings as I continue building the story.

When the stars fall asleep masterlist

Thank you all for reading my fics, you motivate me to keep writing.

#levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n #levi x reader #levi x you #series #attack on titan #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #levi attack on titan #levi aot #snk levi

[usernu11]

okay ive calmed down

some thoughts on the website content dropped today

The brothers true feelings

honestly i don't know why i wasn't thinking of this in the first place. i mean, of course a lot of the brothers would feel absolutely terrible falling. we know mammon looked up to lucifer a lot and has stated many times that he was with lucifer the whole way through when it came to his decision. he might be really trying to be there for his brothers and that's why he's not crying on his image. i'm really curious as to how he handles everyone, since it seems like he'll be butting heads with those that aren't happy with the outcome of their choice. i'm also curious how he'll deal with satan.

lucifer oh lucifer, where did your pride take you? i'm curious what his quote is talking about and honestly i can only assume that its dealing with lucifer and lilith. i mean, of course he feels terrible for keeping the lilith issue a secret, but i think what hurts the most early on is the fact that he had to tell his grieving brothers that they were to follow diavolo and that their eldest brother they risked it all for seemingly is completely on diavolos side. it must hurt all the more since the last person they were loyal to hurt them in the worst way possible.

levi and asmo seem miserable lol. i'm honestly really curious why them in particular seem to be regretting their choice? did they not know they would fall? it did seem like, at least in the flash back in lesson 15-16, that even lucifer wasn't aware he was a demon at first until it was pointed out to him. maybe they didnt realize the consequences would be so permanent? i wonder if they feel mislead, since they seem to hate it in the devildom.

satan!!! omg!!! satan!!! how you're the most i want to learn about!! i knew he didn't get along well with the brothers at first, especially since he came at a really traumatic time. if i had to guess, the person he'll probably have the most contact with is mammon and lucifer since they seem like the ones who take control while everyone goes through the motions. maybe the reason he's so into cats is cause he was lonely and the only ones who really 'got' him and gave him comfort were the strays :(

beel!!! my beloved don't cry :( !! his quote is definitely because he's absolutely guilt ridden about his 'choice' and how he feels that he chose belphie over lilith when he should have saved both. the fact that i still think his sin plays directly into his feelings and how he's probably absolutely ravenous because the guilt eats away at him constantly. he's totally gonna be really protective during this time as well, especially when it comes to belphie. talking about belphie-

belphie, oh how i want so much for you. his quote clearly indicates that he'll be struggling with how the pin the 'blame', whether it be his father or the humans or maybe someone else? himself? i really wouldn't mind if he's still his little shitter self, i just want better for him and his characterization!! i don't want another lesson 16, i want him to go through the motions!! and i want him to fight with beel!!! i feel strongly about this honestly, i get they have a twin thing going on and i adore it but they have moments where they're 'i'm my own person' and this needs to be one of these moments!! if belphie is gonna have another 'ew humans' moment with mc there then i need beel and honestly, the brothers, to have some push back on his actions and to TALK ABOUT IT. PLEASE. TALK ABOUT HOW HE'S COPING UNHEALTHILY.

Going through the motions

i love obey me, i love the brothers. what im abt to rant about is because i love the series so much and i really really don't want the same mistakes to be made. honestly, i would love if throughout a good majority of the game, the brothers to be dealing with a GOOD majority of their trauma and to still be going through it when we get sent back to the present. i want it to be ugly, gross and painful and i want to feel what i SHOULD HAVE felt during lesson 16. i want to feel the brothers struggling to come to terms with their own decisions, thoughts and differing opinions when it comes to major life altering decisions.

MC and their impact

i'm actually pretty okay with MC going back in time, I feel like there will be a lot of opportunities for more time for some of the other datables and side characters since the brothers will absolutely be a little busy dealing with everything going on. it's also really nice that we can, at least, comfort them even if it won't mean anything in the long term, they definitely deserve it :( . I'm a liiiittle worried they might try and have it affect the main, current storyline which would make the already messy timeline situation even messier in my opinion. i wouldn't mind like, an event or some mentions but reaaaaally just want the second game to be about making the characters have a more deeper characterization since the format and ever increasing cast makes it a little hard.

#obey me nightbringer #obey me! nightbringer #predictions #obey me #spoilers?

[hopeshoodie]

Can you do a Pros and Cons for Levi?

Part 8 of Pros and Cons of dating the different islanders (use the tag to see the others lol)

Levi

Cons

He takes things very personally. It’s not that he reads too much into things like tone or intention, but that if someone is being dismissive or irritated with him his feelings are very hurt. If you’re angry and make a comment that crosses a line or tease him too much, he gets very sulky very quickly.

He doesn’t know how to take constructive criticism, and has a tendency to either a) blow it off completely if it’s from someone he doesn’t respect or b) if it’s from someone he cares about he does that guilt-trippy thing of saying “OH I guess I’m just the worst person ever then!” He is not at all receptive to you pointing out that’s what he’s doing in the moment either.

I don’t think he’s at all in tuned with his partners needs or willing to take on the mental load of managing a household/finances. He’s the type to purposefully do a task you asked him to do wrong so that you won’t ask him to do it again. Or if you complain that he’s not sharing the housework he’ll be like “tell me what to do and I’ll do it” but won’t realize that half the task is keeping track of what needs to be done and getting all the things together in order to complete it. It’s not that he’s maliciously thinking housework is a woman’s job or intentionally putting it all on his partner, more just that he doesn’t think about it to begin with. If he’s in a really bad mood he’ll be like “why is it my problem?”

He’s moody. SO moody. If something upsets him in the morning, the rest of the day he’ll be sulky or irritable. Normally he ‘copes’ with it by just giving the people around him the silent treatment as he plays on his phone all day or doing a lot of loud sighing/scoffing/eyerolling. Levi is not amenable to be roused out of his moods, either, and prefers to just stew in it. The only real way to divert him is to leave him alone for long enough where he gets bored of it himself or to bring him along to an activity that totally distracts him from performing his irritation. 

He likes gorgeous women, and I think that’s part of why he likes MC. He’s not going to be chill if she stops wearing makeup or cuts her hair or puts on a lot of weight. He won’t taunt her about it or break up with her, but he will start losing interest and looking other places. 

He’s not one to break up with someone unless he’s got a relationship he’s more interested in lined up, and he’s not going to communicate without a lot of prompting to try and improve the relationship. So if he does start losing interest, he’s not going to say anything. Think Christian from Midsommar- he’ll hold you but still be staring into space wishing he didn’t feel like he had to. 

Pros

Even though he’s really good at what he does (competitive swimming at an olympic level) I get a down-home vibe with him. I think he really enjoys the simple things like sitting around a firepit with family, having a beer on the deck, and taking a walk with his partner. He takes a lot of pleasure in the good things, so you’ll have a super chill weekend at home and he’ll be like “our weekend was amazing”. 

You know that quote ‘I love the way men love’ where it talks about how men will quietly dedicate themselves to gestures of affection but not openly express it? That’s Levi. You’ll start to wonder if everything’s okay because he’s gotten quiet recently, but then notice that he upgraded his spotify account so that you can listen without being interrupted or that he’s trying to get used to a certain kind of food you love that he previously hated. 

Levi’s a really charming guy, especially to older people and children. He has this ability to just warm up a room when he’s in it. If he’s comfortable in his relationship and feeling good, everyone else feels it too. His laugh is really contagious, he validates the people around him, he’s willing to jump in and tell entertaining stories, and he’s the type that people gravitate towards. He’s just cool. He seems like the perfect guy in small doses, so I totally see him charming your family and friends (and honestly making them envious of you). 

He has really high expectations for himself, which contributes to the moodiness, but also pushes him to be really ambitious and constantly improving. If something doesn’t work, he’s going to keep trying to fix it or find products so that it’ll run smoothly. The ‘pro’ of that is he’s going to move hell and high water supporting you to get what you want. He’s going to grind to give you financial security, he’s going to practice with you and look for jobs if you want career advancement, he’s going to go to the gym with you if you’re on a muscle building kick. He genuinely is the biggest cheerleader, both for himself and you. 

 As much as I think he does have toxic masculinity to break down, I think he also takes pride in being a #SupportiveBoyfriend. Like he secretly relishes if you send him out for tampons/pads, or if he has to hold your bag while you shop. The performative feminist things that make him Feel like he’s doing something. When you eventually have kids, he’s going to be the proudest Girl Dad and relish doing her hair and taking her on outings (but not the labor intensive things of being a parent like entertaining them all day or dealing with tantrums/behaviors). But like the things that are ‘socially acceptable’ or will get him praise he’s really good at and takes genuine pride in doing. If you post photos of him doing any of these things it’ll go viral because people love hot guys being performatively good. 

#pros and cons #final queue #litg levi

[riewritten]

DUMB HEADCANONS

DUSK IN THE BRIGHTEST

erwin smith/fem!reader, erwin smith/you, no y/n | slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff & smut, mutual pining, canon AU, college/univ AU, professor erwin smith, commander erwin smith, non-linear narrative, manga spoilers

Plot: It was always the nightmares, really. Entrapped with walls, human-eating giants, fighting through metal strings and swords – utterly violent, dreary, recurrent. But behind the blurry faces was a man with menacing blue eyes and vivid features; eventually appearing before you as your new reputable professor, Erwin Smith. Since then, the disaster had slipped beyond your subconscious.

1 | 2 | 3

sorry, this is just me projecting my own headcanons in this fanfic 😞 i'm really down bad for nathan w pyle's dead humor and i feel like some strange planet references resonate to my characters 😣

i know this might be uncomfy considering how serious (is it?) my story might be. but yeah, no apparent updates here so you don't need to look at it. i'll add more from time to time for my own consumption and coping mechanism.

(1)

levi: you bludgeoned me off a cliff

erwin: yet our friendship is unharmed

levi: it is mildly harmed

erwin: yet it will recover

(2) meanwhile.... the games w/ you

(3) the general dynamics between au!you & au!erwin

(4)

you: hello your body is long–

erwin: i have accepted my role in the society

(5) im pretty sure erwin's the one taking down notes

(6)

erwin: should i continue to make you feel better?

you: you hadn't started

(7)

erwin: what is occuring

you: justice

erwin: wha t

(8)

erwin: i must physically demonstrate

you: understandable, go ahead

(9) of course, youre the one on crying the ground

(10) one (1) peaceful day in levi & erwin's college hangouts

adding more!

#erwin smith x reader #erwin smith x you #erwin smith x y/n #erwin smith fanfiction #erwin smith modern au #Erwin Smith #erwin smith imagine #aot erwin x reader #aot erwin x you #snk erwin #snk erwin x reader #snk erwin x you #erwin x reader #erwin x you #erwin x y/n #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #professor erwin smith #aot x reader #aot x y/n #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin x reader #shingeki no kyojin erwin smith #commander erwin smith #commander erwin #erwin smith angst #erwin smith smut #erwin smith slow burn #attack on titan smut

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

OK I WAS TOO UPSET TO WRITE THIS BUT NOW I AM ONLY MILDLY UPSET SO I WROTE IT

Your Worth | Canonverse Oneshot

✧ word count ➼ 1.3k ✧ notes ➼ canon!verse, hurt/comfort, negative self-talk, levi being comforting in his levi way

The door to your office flew open. It was already well into the evening. Nearly everyone should have returned to the barracks. You were hoping to have some alone time to process and catch up with paperwork. The previous few hours haven't been easy and you were coping by drowning yourself in tedious work.

Your body tensed as you heard Levi's distinct footsteps step into your office.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked sternly.

You put your pen down as you slowly looked up at your visibly agitated boyfriend. You had an idea as to what got him so upset, although you hoped it wasn't the case.

"What are you talking about?" you asked quietly.

He was holding a few sheets of paper in his hand. He placed one on your desk in front of you. Your heart sank upon reading it.

It was your request to the Commander to be removed from Levi's squad. You had submitted it early this morning, putting in substantial effort to get it to the Commander's office without Levi catching on.

You took the page from him roughly, frowning.

"Tch," you muttered in irritation. "He showed you?"

"It's my fucking squad, of course he showed me," Levi scolded.

You didn't respond. You knew he had a point. It was Levi's squad. He was the Captain. Of course he was going to find out sooner or later.

"Why are you requesting to be removed?" he asked with a gentler tone. "Did something happen?"

It wasn't like you to just suddenly do something like this. He had noticed that you had been acting differently or have been more reserved for the past few days. He had been expecting something to eventually happen, but nothing as extreme as this.

"_____," Levi nudged you once you didn't respond.

After a while, your lips finally parted to speak.

"I'm..." you mumbled quietly, "I'm holding you back."

"Ah?" Levi muttered, genuinely not expecting those words to come out of your mouth.

"You heard me. I'm holding you back," you reemphasized. "Everyone you had chosen for your squad is skilled with the gear or has a high amount of Titan kills and I'm just...me."

He took the paper back from you and set it to the side, sitting on your desk as he looked down at you as you sat in your office chair.

"...the fuck do you mean 'just' you?" he asked, although he already somewhat knew the answer. He knew that you were frequently plagued with feelings and thoughts of inadequacy.

You knew that he knew.

"What do you want me to say?" you exclaimed, frustrated beyond belief. "No matter what I do, there's someone that's better at it. There's someone with more kills, faster times, more respect, or whatever! No matter how much I try, no matter how much effort I put in, I will never be the person that someone goes to for help. There isn't the One Thing™ that I'm good at where someone would be like 'hey, _____ should be the one you ask for help from'. No, I'm always in the fucking background and being dead weight, so that is why I requested to be discharged from your squad. The last thing you need is to have me drag you down."

Levi was silent the entire time you rambled, never taking his eyes off you as he listened.

"You done?" he finally said once you stopped speaking.

You scowled at him again.

"Get out."

Levi promptly got up, but instead of walking out the door, he walked around your desk to where you were seated at.

"Get out!" you repeated, raising your voice.

"Not until you tell me that everything you just said was bullshit," he said sternly.

You clenched your jaw, frustrated. You wanted to tell him what he wanted to hear, but you couldn't lie to him. You did legitimately believe in everything you just said, in every flaw that you had just listed.

You groaned in frustration as you buried your face into your hands while gripping at your hair.

These feelings of inadequacy were not new. Feelings of never being good enough and your fear of failure was something that was just drilled into you as a child. You were always being compared to others and you eventually developed a worldview that made you feel like you had to "earn" your right to exist by being good at things. Not only that, but you had to "specialize" in it, which made it so that anytime someone else came along that was just as good at if not better than you at something, you felt like your entire life—including your right to live it—spiraled out of control.

Levi gently placed his hand on your shoulder.

"Hey," he said quietly.

He shook you a little bit once you didn't answer or move.

"_____, look at me."

You slowly leaned back from your desk to look at him.

Before your eyes could even focus properly on him, he gently flicked at your forehead.

"Quit pitying yourself," he said as he scowled.

You rubbed at your forehead, which was now slightly red as you pouted at him.

The pout was a good sign for him. It meant you were listening to what he was trying to say, despite how strong those intrusive thoughts were being.

He knelt down, so that he was eye-level with you, gazing at you with gentler eyes.

"What started this?" he asked quietly.

You looked away, but he immediately grabbed your chin and turned you towards him so that he was making eye contact with you.

You tried to resist against his grip, feeling incredibly embarrassed that he was still able to read you like an open book. You had prided yourself as being able to mask well to not be a burden to those around you, but that was never the case around Levi. You hated and loved it at the same time.

You sighed in defeat.

"I just heard some of the prospective recruits talking and mentioning who in the Scouts they looked up to, and I guess it was foolish of me to even think that my name would be mentioned, but a dumb part of me hoped that I at least contributed something, something to be remembered for if I died," you began rambling, taking a deep breath to keep your voice from breaking as your frustration and self-hate threatened to boil over. "But there isn't, is there? As far as everyone else is concerned, I'm either your partner or just another soldier. I'm not anyone special-"

"Cut that shit out," Levi scolded, not giving you a chance to finish your rambling this time.

You stopped talking, but looked at him with hurt in your eyes.

"I know how important external validation is to you, but the cadets are talking out of their ass and you know it," he said as he looked intensely in your eyes. "You know they don't know shit about what any of us actually do—and it certainly doesn't warrant you requesting to be discharged from the squad."

He sighed and let go of your chin, instead moving to gently place his palm on the side of your face, allowing you to take comfort in his touch. It at least helped ground you when you felt like your emotions were taking over your entire world.

"You're worth more than you know," he said gently before pulling you in and gently placing his lips against yours, lingering for a few seconds until he felt you relax into him.

He placed his other hand on your thigh and gently squeezed as he slowly began to deepen the kiss before finally pulling away and resting his forehead on yours.

"And if I have to remind you of that every single day of your life, I will."

ok this was cathartic, ty to anyone who took the time to read :3 #: @chaotic-on-main @romantichomicide95 @lovolee3 @svftackerman @levisbrat25 @leviismybby @idkks4m @moonmalice @elnyrae @sleepyfairyxo @averysmolbear @cathybarn @tclbts @belovedackerman @bejewelledd @fuyulvr @sad-darksoul @levis-squishy-cheeks @roseofdarknessblog @anviacker @aam1na @luvjiro @noctemys @sixpennydame @dumbfound-princess @raenacreates @deepzombieyouth join my taglist!

#hey i at least wrote something today #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi heichou x reader #captain levi x reader #levi fluff #levi hurt/comfort #levi #levi ackerman #levi heichou #captain levi #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin #snk

[heich0e]

how a face can change when a heart knows fear levi ackerman/reader (attack on titan) word count: 1.4k tags: mentions of blood and injury, hurt/comfort-ish?, soft domestic Levi, modern AU, actor AU. A/N: inspired by @leyyvi's actor!au Levi because we all need a good old fashioned coping mechanism to get us through s4 pt.2

The water is rushing, swift and rippling over the smooth rocks along the riverbank as it surges past, but you can’t hear it.

The rain beats down on the earth around you, and it should be cold as it seeps into your clothes and weighs them down, but you can’t feel it.

There’s blood.

So much blood.

Your palms are slick with crimson, the most unpleasant warmth you’ve ever felt, as you cradle his weight in your arms. Two grey eyes stare lifelessly up at you from a face that might be familiar if not for the gruesome injuries that maim it into something you don't recognize. You cling to him desperately, but his body is limp, no discernible rise nor fall of his chest.

No, no, no.

You sit straight up, gasping for breath that refuses to be drawn into your too-tight chest.

You look around frantically.

Blankets pool in your lap, sweat cooling against your exposed skin. It’s dim, but unmistakably you're in your safe, dry, bedroom.

There’s no rushing river, no pelting rain, and no –

You must have been thrashing in your sleep, because the man resting beside you has stirred, blinking blearily up at you from the pillow positioned next to your own at the head of the bed. There’s sleep heavy in his eyelids, like he’s only half-awake, but he’s clearly concerned by your distressed state.

Tears well suddenly in your eyes before you have the faintest chance of stopping them, and your hands reach up to cover your face in a flimsy attempt to hide them – and your shame. All is for naught when a pitiful sob slips from your trembling lips anyway.

The mattress shifts a little, and you feel a pair of warm, strong arms circle your waist. Levi’s body wraps itself around you, pulling you carefully into his lap.

“You watched it, didn’t you?” he asks, the words raspy from the sleep still clinging to his throat as your legs tangle together under the rumpled sheets. His body is warm and still and sturdy as he comforts you, your body wracked with hiccupping sobs.

“It was scary.” You tremble in his hold, sniffling through the words. You tuck your face into the crook of his neck, his skin dampening with your tears. “It looked so real.”

“That’s because we have a highly trained team of makeup artists and special effects editors who are paid a lot of money to make it look that way.”

Even though objectively it seems he’s talking down to you, there’s no real condescension in his tone – only care. One of Levi’s hands reaches up to stroke your back gently, the other arm still wound around your waist holding you to him a little tighter.

“I told you not to watch it.”

“I know,” you whimper. And you really do know. Levi has said it enough times that there was no way you couldn’t know.

But still, you’d been foolish enough not to listen, and had furtively watched the new episode on your cellphone while Levi had been on a call with his agent earlier in the day. When he’d come back out from his office and seen you crying on the couch, swathed in blankets and snivelling, you’d had to fabricate a cover story to explain the tears he’d found on your face.

“I knew it wasn’t videos of dogs getting adopted,” Levi mutters, clicking his tongue admonishingly. He shifts slightly, leaning back against the pillows once more and tugging you along with him to rest atop his chest.

“I just wanted to see what happened,” you offer a weak defence of your actions as he pulls the blankets of your shared bed up around you, tucking them in and wrapping the two of you in warmth as you settle down.

Levi sighs.

“I warned you that you wouldn’t get any answers in this episode; you should have waited a few more weeks to start watching and then you wouldn’t be this upset.”

“Can’t you just tell me what happens?” you plead, in much the same way you have been for the past 6 months ever since the end of the last season. You lift your head to shoot him your most beseeching look, glistening tears still stuck to the ends of your eyelashes.

“You’re even worse at keeping secrets than Yeager is – and we’ve practically got to muzzle the kid during press junkets,” Levi replies flatly - his hand reaching up to thumb away the dampness still clinging to your skin - as unmoved by your desperate appeal as ever.

“Who would I even tell?” You can’t help but pout in the face of his refusal, even if you’ve grown to expect it.

“It’s precious information,” he says with a little pat to your cheek, his tone implying offence that you seem to think so little of it, though you know it’s mostly feigned, “you might be held ransom for it.”

“Wouldn’t you save me?” you ask, ducking down and hiding your little smile against his chest as you nuzzle into it once more. He smells like the fabric softener he loves and the soap he’s used as long as you’ve known him. It’s comforting. It’s him.

“You know I don’t actually know how to use a sword right?” Levi’s hand comes to rest on the crown of your head, his neatly manicured fingernails raking gently against your scalp. “How exactly is my theatre degree going to help save you from a hostage situation?”

“… you could recite the monologue from Taken?”

Levi laughs, his breath blowing warm across your temple. Your own breaths still shudder as you draw them in, but thankfully your tears seem to have stopped.

You dig your fingertips into the cotton of the t-shirt he wore to bed, your hand resting over his tummy. You can hear his heartbeat thumping, steady and reassuring, under your ear.

“Sorry I woke you up,” you say sheepishly. Levi is a light sleeper to begin with, so any slight sign of distress you’d shown in your sleep would have been enough to cause him to stir.

It’s quiet for a moment, just the two of you breathing ever so slightly out of sync: In and out. In and out.

“You didn’t even cry this much when Erwin died – he’d be offended if I told him that, you know,” Levi muses, finally breaking the silence.

“Well I’m not married to Erwin, am I?” you reply indignantly.

Levi lets out another chuckle, his large hand resting over yours on his chest. He spins the wedding ring on your fourth finger idly.

“No, you’re not.”

“Plus he definitely would have told me the ending, if we were married.”

Levi pinches your arm gently in the wake of your jibe.

“Hey!” you giggle, batting his hand away – he catches yours easily and twines your fingers together.

“Hey yourself – that’s for watching when I told you not to,” Levi grumbles, letting your clasped hands come to rest against his chest, just over his heart. “I knew you’d get all weepy about it.”

You sigh dramatically. “It’s not my fault I love you so much.”

“Oh really, whose is it then?” he asks wryly.

You tilt your head up, meeting his gaze in the darkness. There’s just enough light to make out the dark shape of his pupils and the shine of his eyes as he stares back at you.

“Yours.”

His fingers tighten around yours, once and then again – two squeezes that tell you in his own little way that he feels the same.

“Go to sleep,” he says gruffly, nestling down into the blankets, still holding your hand tight.

“If I do, will you at least tell me in the morning if-”

“Go to sleep.” Levi reaches up and presses your face into his chest, cutting off your sentence before you even get to finish your question. You giggle a little into the material of his t-shirt, but oblige.

Levi’s breathing evens out after a while, the time between exhales stretching until you know he’s fast asleep. His fingers remain twined together with your own, and every so often his grip tightens slightly, the smallest bit of pressure as his fingers hold a little firmer onto yours. Your eyelids grow heavy as you rest atop his chest, luxuriating in the sound of him breathing and of the heart still beating in his chest.

It’s safe. It’s home.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi/reader #levi ackerman/reader #levi drabble #attack on titan drabble #levi fluff #levi ackerman #writing #aot drabble #aot writing

[frenchfrywrites]

Hello!

Hope your doing good!

What safewords would the brothers use and when/why would they use?

What if their dom uses the safeword?

How would they react?

Sorry for my rambling these were just random questions and delete this if you want/it makes you uncomfortable 🙃

Ps: love your writing! It's so good!

Hm!! Lots of thoughts!

Briefly here is what I think their safewords would be:

Lucifer: pride- short, easy to remember, wouldn't come up often

Mammon: color system, or Goldie

Levi: Ruri-chan- easy to remember, and would take him and you out of the scene

Satan: color system

Asmo: enough- wouldn't say it during sex, similar to stop, easy to remember, short

Beel: color system

Belphie: color system

I think the most often occurrence of them breaking out the safeword is if they get too overwhelmed. I think Mammon has a hard time safewording, especially if he slips into nonverbal subspace, so like I said here, he needs a dom that will be good at analyzing his mental space. Lucifer and Satan do scenes when they get stressed sometimes, as a coping mechanism, so they safeword if they're too stressed and the subspace isn't helping. Asmo safewords when he's bitten off more than he can chew, and is overstimulated or hurting. Levi also has a hard time safewording, but he does it when the degradation/teasing gets to be too much. Beel safewords if you make him feel ashamed or embarrassed so be light with your teasing and degradation. Belphie uses his safeword when he starts to spiral or if he hears Beel coming back into their room.

If you safeword, there's different reactions. Lucifer, Satan, and Asmo help calm you down, kissing and cuddling or giving you space depending on what you need, and then wants you to talk through it with them so they know what to avoid in the future. Mammon and Beel get shocked but stop immediately. They get really scared but they try their best to comfort you, and then ask what happened when you're ok. Levi and Belphie are terrified. They help you calm down and comfort you as best they can and when you're ok they're crying, spiraling thinking they did something horribly wrong, so you guys need the rest of the night to be chill and sweet with lots of cuddles and kisses and reassurance.

#thank you 💖 #cw use of safeword #is this angst? #french fry replies

[eternal-armin]

how they would comfort you when you're crying

i am having a difficult time so it's time to self-indulge i apologize for mispellings and bad grammar, i am very tired and formatting is surprisingly exhausting x

characters included: jean, sasha, armin, levi, hange, mikasa, erwin

*＊✿❀　jean　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ not good with emotions *:✼✿ like at all *:✼✿ but he knows you well enough to know what you need and what would make you happy *:✼✿ so he stays near you and hugs you, talks to you, and reassures you. no matter what's troubling he will do his best to be sure that you know everything will be okay *:✼✿ you like his humming (even though he hates it) so he will hum your favorite songs and even make up songs *:✼✿ will make you laugh as much as he can *:✼✿ will not stop his attempts until you feel better *:✼✿ even if it means staying up all night helping you through your darkest griefs, he will willingly spend every second by your side and wide awake *:✼✿ very affectionate, better at physically showing his love for you honestly *:✼✿ still tries his best verbally *:✼✿ you always end up feeling better, no matter how long it takes *:✼✿ "i promise, i'll always protect you. you're never going to feel this bad again. you are so strong for being able to get through this, and i'm proud of you for asking for my help."

*＊✿❀　sasha　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ gets incredibly nervous, like "oh god, oh god you're crying uH" and tries her frazzled best for a few seconds *:✼✿ hugs you tight and reassures you, petting your hair *:✼✿ lets you cry into her shoulder as hard as you need *:✼✿ offers you everything under the sun to see what would make you feel better *:✼✿ cuddly and excessively affectionate, listens to you as you speak with the patience of a saint *:✼✿ cradles you and rocks you back and forth *:✼✿ brings you food and water and tea and whatever else she can scrounge/steal *:✼✿ makes sure that you're healthy and doesn't leave you alone *:✼✿ literally so kind and sweet *cries* *:✼✿ tells you just how much you're worth, how much you're loved, how strong you are, and it makes you cry more tbh *:✼✿ she tries joking around but if it doesn't work, she lets it go *:✼✿ cuddles you if you want, doesnt touch you if you need, but will never leave you alone for too long

*＊✿❀　armin　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ immediately asks you if you're okay after seeing you cry *:✼✿ when you break down, he hugs you and (though he won't admit it) cries with you *:✼✿ has a tender one-sided conversation with you until you're able to talk with him *:✼✿ a genuine talk about how you're feeling, why, and what you can do to help- and also what he can do to support you *:✼✿ talking with him is really helpful, but he also hugs you throughout it all, gives you physical affirmations as well as verbal *:✼✿ he knows what its like to feel so horrible about your life and yourself, he is so empathetic and gentle about it *:✼✿ a few moments are spent in peaceful silence. even if it feels hollow, its comforting *:✼✿ he lets you rest your head on his shoulder *:✼✿ brings you anything you need when you ask *:✼✿ promises you the sun and moon if it means you'll smile

*＊✿❀　levi　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ seriously bad with feelings *:✼✿ like at first he's completely apathetic *:✼✿ then he gets actually worried after seeing how badly its affecting you *:✼✿ provides the best comfort he can give, talks with you, hugs you, whispers affirmations *:✼✿ if it's a person who was bugging you he'll probably commit homicide *:✼✿ if it's not, he will do everything he can legally do to get it fixed *:✼✿ including going to shitty glasses *:✼✿ but if it's an emotional thing, he'll first ask you what you need *:✼✿ and levi will provide you with anything under the sun (exceptthethingsonthetopshelf) *:✼✿ im allowed to make that joke im 5'1 *:✼✿ he gets as affectionate as levi ackerman can possibly get *:✼✿ will leave you with someone you both trust if he needs to leave, for instance to commit homicide

*＊✿❀　hange　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ immediately fauning over you the moment they see your eyes tearing up *:✼✿ like "PUDDING WHAT IS WRONG WHY ARE YOU CRYING, BABY ARE YOU OKAY???" *:✼✿ they wipe your tears and give you plenty of kisses *:✼✿ hugs you tightly and doesn't let go *:✼✿ will speak at length about random things because they know that silence makes things worse for you *:✼✿ asks you if you need anything like at least fifteen times and brings you things regardless of what you say *:✼✿ mostly food or comfort objects honestly *:✼✿ tries to make you laugh, tells you stories, mostly stories that they know would reinspire your hope *:✼✿ will make tea to help you sleep (if it's at night) *:✼✿ inspires you to use your coping skills *:✼✿ if you want, hange will do them with you

*＊✿❀　mikasa　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ flurry of emotions at first, from shock and sadness to anger *:✼✿ similarly to levi, would commit homicide for the sake of revenge *:✼✿ sweetly comforts you at first before asking a lot about what happened *:✼✿ cradles you in her lap *:✼✿ lets you wear her sweaters because she knows you love them *:✼✿ keeps calm to keep you calm *:✼✿ and it works; you stop crying soon after going to her *:✼✿ still affectionate and supportive *:✼✿ sympathetic, understanding *:✼✿ suggests things to do that will cheerr you up *:✼✿ but she understands when you dont want to do anything besides exist because everything else is too much *:✼✿ if and when she feels okay about leaving you with someone else (rare) or alone (p much never) she will commit physical violence against the person who hurt you. unless you specifically tell her not to

*＊✿❀　erwin　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ kind of shocked to see someone usually so strong so broken down *:✼✿ holds your hands and lets you cry *:✼✿ he knows how important it is to cry sometimes *:✼✿ gently talks with you about what's wrong *:✼✿ he comforts and reassures you all throughout what you say *:✼✿ inspires confidence in your talking *:✼✿ he makes you feel strong and justified in your feelings *:✼✿ provides physical comfort as you boh figure out good solutions *:✼✿ if its emotional then he'll work with you to do coping skills *:✼✿ talks about how proud he is of you, whether you feel like you deserve it or not *:✼✿ you WILL feel like you deserve it *:✼✿ that is a threat.

#jean x y/n #jean kirstein #jean x reader #sasha x y/n #sasha x reader #sasha braus #armin arlert headcanons #armin arlert x you #armin arlert #armin x reader #armin x y/n #armin x gender neutral reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman #hange zöe #hange x reader #hange zoe #mikasa x reader #mikasa #mikasa ackerman #erwin x reader #erwin smith #aot headcanons #aot x gender neutral reader #aot fluff #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #snk x reader #snk headcanons #snk fanfiction

[pen-observing]

request: how lucifer, leviathan, belphegor, simeon and solomon are when you leave for the human world once more.

MASTERLIST

Lucifer:

From the moment that you turn your back and make a step towards the human world; Lucifer feels something shift. He can’t exactly say what it is. Your step makes the ground shift, the air feels different and he is more unsure about you leaving than he was when you first came to the Devildom.

Lucifer feels something but that is the only name he gives it. Something is there and attaching any other name to that feeling would almost be him admitting defeat.

So he walks on with the head held high and the emotion inside of his chest.

You were unpredictable yes but at the same time you were grounded and Lucifer noticed that sometimes you balanced with him.

So he thinks about what that means and the different connotations it holds while filling out paperwork with cursive letters.  

For a moment he stops and notices how differently letters of your writing look compared to his; but he presses on.  

Denying the emotion of missing you is easier to him than actually admitting it. And this very fact means that he takes on even more work, with less sleep.  

Mammon knows that he is also less tolerable than before. He never thought it was possible.  

Lucifer refuses to admit it all even when he calls you at 2:46am on a Thursday because – he is allowed to right?  

Hearing your voice is what was important at that very moment. That and nothing else.

He continues to carry on and carry on until he hears his brothers so openly mention you and how they miss you.

What is stopping him from doing the same? Pride, but alas, he comes through.

Why did he ever think missing you would be a hit to his pride?  

He becomes more honest with himself and knows that as the day for your return comes, once more, he will not be ashamed to show how much he has missed you.

And while this does not include grand gestures. It includes a smile and a warm cup of tea next to his in the study to welcome you back.

Leviathan:

Levi is clingy before you leave because he holds an irrational amount of fear that comes with losing you.  

Everyone sees how hurt he looks when you walk into the portal and everyone knows that his glassy eyes will not be lingering in that place for too long. Instead, he will go to his room.

And he does. But something unexpected happens.  

When Levi cooks breakfast there is an extra set of plates on the table and your favorite mug is never moved from the counter.  

In his room, your controller is right next to his and nobody else is allowed to use that one.  

If you think some dust will be on it you are absolutely wrong.

Levi does such little things to ensure that he remembers you will be back soon.

Henry 2.0 obviously agrees with him when at 3pm Levi pulls up another miniscule detail of your walk with him through the Devildom zoo.

He needs some small physical trinkets yes but more than them – he remembers your words.  

Everyone was initially right about him being locked up in his room but they admit how naïve they were.

Levi is not the same demon he was when you first came.  

He remembers that you said his room shouldn’t get too dirty or dusty because the pesky dust-demons will come to bother him; so he cleans and airs it out as much as he can.

He remembers your favorite meals and still makes them even if human food is no longer necessary at their table.

He promised to take care of himself so he actually goes outside once in a while.  

He takes photos of unusual things to show you once you are back.

He counts the weeks until you come back doing day-to-day things that show him you actually were in their lives. And he refuses to act like losing you temporarily means losing you forever.

Belphegor:

Belphegor drinks up every bit of information that comes along with your name. If someone mentions you, if your favorite pen stands on the side unused. Anything that is connected to you he notices.  

That is his way of coping with the fact that you are back in the human world. 

But anytime your name is there – you are not – and he hates it. Because really, what is the whole point of it all? Your name in the air but no sign of your shadow walking through the rooms.

To him, some places feel less comfortable without you now and he avoids them when he naps.

And he swears to everything unholy that if Asmodeus mentions your name once more he is going to lose it.

He gets overwhelmed by the fact that your name lingers more and more so he decides to avoid any conversation concerning you.

He simply cannot deal with knowing how much your presence itself is the main topic of those he speaks with.

He leaves the room when someone mentions your name. If he can’t leave the room, he simply ignores it.  

Beel obviously knows and he tries to help but Belphie sees no attempt that can make him feel better unless it involves the actual you.

This is why he calls and texts you the most. This is his way of making up and dealing with the places that seem darker without you.

Belphie simply needs to avoid mentions of you around him but have contact with you if he wishes to remain somewhat balanced.

Simeon:

Simeon is aware how easier for him it is when you leave than it is for others.

For the start, Simeon knows you are not close to him like you are with the rest.

Emotional proximity is one thing but actual proximity is another factor. You’ve lived in different houses so the void he feels falls down to thinking: why didn’t I make more of an effort to be with them? Why didn’t I invite them over more?

He knows that he is blessed because when you leave for the human world, it means that Simeon goes to his own home too.

He doesn’t have to walk through the halls of RAD and remember how you once leaned on the pillar or tripped on the steps when you first came.  

He doesn’t pass by the hall where your room is; he doesn’t walk down the streets you loved to see in the Devildom

So why does he still feel the void? Isn’t he selfish?  

He thinks that he truly is.

He has the privilege to watch down from the clouds and feel when you are in emotional turmoil or happy.

Because of knowing how much it is easier for him with the privileges than it is for others; he doesn’t call as often as others do. How could he allow himself to be even more selfish?

He maintains a certain distance but really; when somehow small things work out in your favor – who is behind them?  

When you pack your bag and are about to head out the door but suddenly get the need to put an umbrella in it even if the sky is bright blue?  

When you meet a new person whom you see a potential friendship/relationship with and suddenly have a nightmare about them? They’re covered in mud and dirt and are looking at you with cold eyes; no empathy. It is of course Simeon – sending you a sign from the distance.  

I suppose it means the distance is not so great after all.

Solomon:

Solomon definitely feels no guilt or selfishness when it comes to how many options he has when you leave.

Sure, he is busy to say the least but even as he carries out different tasks, experiments and spells; he knows that at the end of the day – you are human just like him.

He can come and go through the human world on whims and he definitely will.

Why shouldn’t he?

He can text you, call you and just talk to you without preparation.  

He can send you memes and make you laugh at random times without fearing of interrupting the 3 realms.

Even with this, he doesn’t come to see you as often as he would like.  

He leads a dangerous lifestyle especially when he does not have the title of ‘transfer student’ to protect him. So, he cannot endanger you.  

He could protect you yes; but why put you through it at all when it isn’t necessary.  

Still, you would say you meet up with him often.

Sure, it is rarely grabbing a lunch together but he invites you to just keep him company in some abandoned castle as he makes his experiments.  

It is very annoying how he just shows up.  

You’re cleaning your window and suddenly he is on it??? The nerve.

You are walking down the street about to trip on something and he shows up and catches you by your arm and brings you up.

Once, he teleported right in front of you as you were throwing trash in the bin and a banana peel got stuck on his head. It’s what he deserves.

Really, he does it at the most inconvenient, unexpected times; it scares you.

But you can’t get mad. He always has a bit of a streak with annoying those he loves and when he does show up after 2 weeks like that you know that it is from him missing you and finally being able to see you in the special impatient, childlike way.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me scenarios #lucifer x reader #leviathan x reader #belphegor x reader #simeon x reader #solomon x reader #aaaa man i went crazy with this 1.6k words whomest