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tonks-21 · 5 months

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Are you a jab? 'Cause you got me hooked | Annie Leonhart x reader | Modern AU Boxing AU | +18

TW: +18, blood, boxing, fights, swearing, heights/weights mentioned, trauma, deja vu.

Shipp: Annie Leonhart x reader

Summary: You and Annie are both boxers, only Annie is from Marley Club and you are from Shiganshina Club, two clubs with the biggest and longest rivalry in the whole city. Once, you and Annie were both selected to fight for your clubs, and you lost because you had a traumatic deja vu. From that moment on, Annie had been curious about you.

Word count: +8500 words

Tw: +18

Clarifications:

Eren’s weight is made up by me, I didn’t find it, I invented it. So don’t worry about these tiny things and just have a good time.

English is not my first language, so sorry if there are typos/errors here.

Also, the measurement scales I use are not lbs or feet, so if you see anything that looks like an error, please let me know.

Interest picked? Let’s start then!

“Annie, your rival is another person now, Mikasa had a problem with her knee” the coach said to the blond-haired short woman.

She raised her eyebrows and made a “tsk” sound with her mouth. “I don’t care, I’ll beat the shit out of her, no matter who she is” she answered, but it bothered her a bit indeed, as she has a special hatred towards her predicted opponent. Since she started having fights with her the tall dark-haired woman could get on her nerves. So Leonhart was always up to fight her.

But, in any case, her rival was going to be someone from the Shiganshina Club, so pride and rivalry is involved there no matter how the person in the other color looks like.

Annie reflected then who will fight her as she wraps her wrists, which are already scarred from so many times she has done this, up to the knuckles with bandages. She didn't know so many girls there, apart from Mikasa, she have had met with Ymir and Historia out of the ring sometime. But Ymir was so tall to be her rival and the blond one was on another lower level. Then, as she put on her gloves, she remembers having seen a fight of Shiganshina vs Marley, Pieck was representing them. She was confronting a brown-haired loud girl called Sasha. She was 5’5 feet tall, and Pieck was 5’ feet tall; looking at the numbers, they were 13 cm apart, Sasha having the advantage. 13 cm is not far from 15 cm, the blue-eyed woman thinks. Would it be unfair? From head to toe. But is it possible in this shitty place?, totally; she thought just before the guest changing room.

It would be either Sasha or another person that she didn't know about, she thought, being blinded by the shot of light that was generated at the door of the room from which she had just exited.

“In the blue corner, The Female Titan of Marley… that has shown us so many times what she can do… 5’ feet tall, 119 lbs… ANNIE LEONHART!!!”

The blond woman started walking through the white smoke they fired for her entering in stage when she heard her name. She was pissed off by her nick, but, after all these years, she didn't care anymore. She advanced until the ring, which was opened by two young men, one on each side of hers. Leonhart entered without any repetitive movement between the ropes, followed by her technical team. She didn't have a characteristic entrance or anything like that, she just wanted to win. And fuck the crowd, she was not there to dance for them.

When the blond-haired one up on the ring made her way to her corner, already talking to her coach, one of the presenters introduced the Shinganshina’s fighter.

The crowd shut and silence dominated the place, white smoke mixed up with the air as the door of the changing room you were in was opened slowly.

"In the red corner, back from the State League, to which she was invited, with a bronze medal in her hands… The Shiganshina Club's new star is back strong and with no rest. Standing at 5’ 4 feet tall and weighing in at 132 lbs... Y/N Y/S!!!!"

Leonhart is impressed by the fact of the gained medal. She had also someones herself, but the State League was at a higher level, even surpassing her own. She respected you even though she didn’t know more than your name and some award thing.

You started walking with your eyes stuck in the ring, where your rival was. You knew all her data some minutes ago, as Mikasa’s knee started aching, and not being able to lift her body while she was doing her last-minute stress-killer practice.

This Annie was a few feet shorter than you, so you have the height advantage, which would allow you to fight to keep the distance you needed to land blows and stay on top of the situation, you analyzed.

You entered the ring doing this repetitive movement your idols had always done before waving and smiling at the crowd.

You were a proud one, Leonhart thought, let her land a hand on you and you’d know the future result here.

She was a lone wolf, you thought, as she was there without anyone more than her coaches and trainer.

Both of you let your coaches put your helmet on your head and say the last tips for each of you, offering you water and checking your clothes and the gloves were well-adjusted and in their place.

“You’ll do well, just throw the first one and you’ll not have any obstacles” Jean said to you. Maybe it was not the best one in terms of behavior, but he was a helpful friend when you were about to start a fight.

Finally, Levi, your coach, patted your two shoulders and gave you one last pat on the back. He always did that, let's say that his gestures are more than his words, and you were already used to it.

The ring sounded and, before you collided your gloves with your rival’s, simply out of mutual respect, you started to feel out the distance between your guard position and the other's face, to get used to each other's height and to analyze each other's fighting style on the fly, as you two have never competed before and this was not planned.

It was quite a challenge not knowing not only that you were going to fight in some minutes but also that you didn’t know your opponent at all. You knew data but at the last minute, so your senses are working at their highest to get to be the winner of the first assault for the sake of the final result and for taking Annie down psychologically in the process.

With some jabs and crosses thrown, you know that Annie goes all out and goes for the victory. That's her style. You had always admired that kind of style, even achieved it, but that doesn’t help much if it’s shown by your opponent.

You dodged a jab, but she feinted and the cross goes to the side you didn't expect. With you halfway to the sleep room she took the opportunity to land an uppercut. The referee put his arm between you two, before the blond could land several blows to your stomach that would have made you vomit blood, and does the 10 sec countdown on you.

While you were on that loop of nearly being unconscious, you centered your gaze on Annie, not seeing the referee’s hands counting along with his talk. She was adjusting her helmet giving you her back. Is something about her that intrigued you. But you didn't really know what it was. You didn't have time, by the way, your brain understood this when the referee got out of your way and you were facing the shorter girl.

Maybe because you were thinking about something other than that you were a bit dizzy, it helped you to dodge her first punch. It didn't matter now, you had to continue. You threw another one-two after reaching her right, leaving her unprotected on that side. Dizzy, she tried to stop you, throwing misdirected punches to your head that only annoyed you but you pivoted like never before in your life and pressed your abdomen to increase the speed of your movements and overcome her uncalculated defensive blows with a hook, now to the liver.

She arched her back and you continued hitting her where you could. Ribs, neck, jaw, head… Where you could before she could cover it. She ended up hugging you making it impossible for you to continue making points.

As you separated from her, you breathe heavily. That was great, you thought, if you could make another one like that or at least connect her some good hooks, this assault would be yours undoubtedly.

When she was back in front of you, you felt she was more aggressive, that’s not that normal when you had just landed a lot of blows on her. She had to be slower, she had to faint more, you thought dodging her in the best way you could. But she blew two good hits on your head. Because you were taller and the blows pushed you back, Annie didn't get to hit you with the uppercut. And thank goodness she didn't, you were sure that would have resulted in a knockout.

The referee gives you another ten seconds as you hit your head a bit trying to get back from the door of the sleep room, as you had one more minute ahead of fighting this Female Titan.

Then you noticed she was getting tired from all the blows he had thrown at you, so you took it slow, concentrated but cautious, waiting for at least 10 seconds to pass like this, breathing in and out. But that’s not like that, as you saw her gaze changing and her arms throwing them at you, her feet pivoting ceaselessly and her waist wasn't different.

You dodged, not concentrating on each one, but on your survival, to one side and the other. Right and left, right and left while blocking the majority of the ones that would hit you. She'd get tired, you thought, trying to not let your head get pushed so back, to not let her punch you without any defense.

Eventually, you striked back, hitting her liver sometimes before centering in her head. Annie covered it, and the crowd it's so loud you couldn't even breathe for air.

The ring sounded when you were nearly pushing her against the net, with a combination of at least 6 hits, not getting bothered by her hugging you trying to make you stop.

First round was over, you thought, already breathing and giving her your back for going slowly, step by step, to your corner, where your team had already setted a chair for you and your coach is gesturing you to sit.

He droped water in your helmet talking to you about the situation.

“That was great, this round is ours. Listen, for the next one you have to cover up more, she doesn’t just punch, she goes all out in every one of them, so be careful with that” oh, yeah, you know it well “I know you can handle it, okay?” you noded, trying to catch any piece of calm of the cold water now falling through your pressed hair.

But you could only think about her face. Her blue eyes combinating with her blond hair. You could think about Armin, Erwin or Nanaba… but it’s not the same.

She was pretty.

The moment you thought that you shook your head of that sentiment and continued to focus on Levi’s indications.

You noded another time as he put a hand on your shoulder and you felt another two on your back, probably from Nanaba, your second coach, and Erwin, who is always there for every fighter of Shiganshina Club.

Those hands on your back gave you the impulse to step into the ring again, hearing the sound that gave you the start of the second round.

You jumped a bit on your feet, trying to make yourself move again and to get rid of that stupid thought.

“You’d have won the last one, but this one’s mine” you heared her between tired breaths before she throws a good one-two at you, forgetting to collide gloves already.

You dodged it, but this is the easy part, and you knew it. Both of you exchanged blows in a row, so that both of you do not take a breath for a good few seconds.

God…

You thought, feeling your abdomen was going to explode from all the pressure you are putting in it to pivot every single time.

In one of those, Leonhart faints in the fastest way you’ve ever seen and gave you a good uppercut. You tried to recompose yourself by giving steps behind you, caring at the same time of her hits, dodging them the best you could. But the physical power you had isn’t as high as your mental one, so you felt dizzy and end up falling near fainting. But you fought to keep your brain focussed on moving your hands a lot inside the gloves and looking at the audience, reminding yourself that this is a great fight with a lot of expectation. That half of the people were there for you. And, finally, you looked at Erwin. He was the man who recruited you and who inspired you to continue in this every day.

The referee went to you, sitting you on the floor and asking you if you could continue.

“You okay?” he asked, kneeled in front of you, lifting your head “you can continue? Should I call the doctor?”

But you denied with your head and make the gesture of standing up, he noded at you and helped you get up. You heared the crowd screaming, cheering you to continue up.

You glanced a second to Erwin, Levi and Nanaba. They noded at you, decided; the blond-haired man raised his fist. You felt Annie’s glance on you but you chose to ignore it, you had to stay up right now. Anyway.

You spit down your throat.

Okay.

You’re good.

Just continue.

You have to.

You can…

Of course you can.

With that, you convinced your heart to continue, which tricked your brain to do so.

As every single time.

You can do it.

You breath.

You can do it.

The ring sounds, but you are already on guard.

Let 's go!

With that, you forgot it all and started throwing punches here, there and everything in between. You didn't care about tiredness anymore. You were here to battle. The three sets, nine minutes in total, as the regulation of amateurs, both male and female, mark, are a sprint to be done. And you were not falling behind.

You saw Leonhart surprised by your change of strategy. After all, she nearly left you in the sleep room seconds ago.

You didn't see it, because you were too focused on giving it all in every punch, but Levi, some meters behind you, was smiling sideways. He was proud that you got the gut to train such a strategy, and even use it in a fight.

That’s my girl, he thought.

Leonhart tried to escape these connections you are making but you don’t even cover up. She hits your liver, your sides, your head… But you just continued punching her and cornering her, ignoring the hits and the pain. Leonhart then gave up and went into you, hugging you so close that you didn't have space to hit her again. She had such a grip.

When you stoped, well, the referee stoped you, you felt her face on your chest before she separated from you. The blond looked up at you and you two look at each other for a second. You break the connection.

The referee gestured to you both to continue after giving the 10 seconds to the blue corner fighter while you got the air you couldn’t before.

Leonhart looked at you with suspicion, as if that part of you hadn't expected it.

A mix of punches and pivots was shown again in the ring. The public was cheering for you both. The lack of air. You couldn't think much in these moments, it’s just mechanics.

One two, try the cross. Nope. Another one two and then an uppercut.

It may seem repetitive, but up there was hella tiring.

Then, a technique that you couldn’t think about takes place. She pushed you in the shoulder, you got confused because she went straight to that, you weren't cornering her. You noticed how she moves her leg and found out what was going on. Only that you touched the ground before.

MUAY THAI, SERIOUSLY?

You thoughtbefore getting up and groaning. Thank goddess you practiced a bit of judo when you were little, courtesy of Nanaba, and knew how to handle a fall like that. The floor didn’t even rub your helmet.

Well, she had to do something, this round was going to be mine…

When the referee told you to continue, only for her eyes, you knew that she noticed your perfect judo fall. I mean, you even hit hard with your gloves, it was unconscious.

After that, you two faint more, it’s normal, you discovered more abilities from each other, with the cards already on the table, any of you could do something surprising.

And like this, the second round ended.

Well. Two falls… This one’s her’s… fuck

You literally threw yourself on the seat one of your technical team members placed for you. You breathed while Levi pours water between the helmet and your head. It seemed that your brain was going to freeze, but nothing felt better than this, honestly. You threw your head back, leaning on the padded corner.

“Here, drink too” Nanaba entered the ring and put the water bottle in your mouth.

Erwin massaged your shoulders a bit, showing his support.

“You did so good, Y/n. Great reaction to that one technique” Nanaba pointed out, on her fingers.

“Yeah” Levi signed “do you want more?” You noded as Nanaba put the bottle again in your mouth “hear me out” he put his hands on your thighs, talking right in front of you, as the crowd would distract your accelerated state. It functioned, you focused on him “We already know her card up her sleeve: Muay Thai mixed with knocks. That's done, you handled it so well, okay?” You noded again, too focused on not doing anything but relax, distension, and low your heart rate “You need to find a way to handle it. You can dodge down too, that would be exhausting, but I know you can do it; but you can also try and counter it with your judo knowledge. I don’t know how much you can put that card of yours on the table, but if you try, you know how it works…” he said.

“All or nothing” out of the excitement, you four said it at the same time.

Before the ring took place between the sound of the crowd for the third time in this fight, Erwin pated your shoulders and Nanaba dried you a bit. Levi noded at you before exiting the ring.

Yeah… At the end… All of it depends on me.

All or nothing…

You repeated yourself, not knowing if you had the energy to persecute that “all” you all are talking about.

You breathed in and out glancing at your rival. That eyeing gave you courage.

You smiled sideways and frown, making your posture go down a little.

“All”… I’m going for you!

Not only you did think about it figuratively, but you moved forward decisively. An aura of positiveness and tireless energy covered you. "That's my Tn'' Levi thought to himself just before you went with everything against Leonhart after the ring sounds.

“Make a nice one!” Nanaba cheered for you.

Consider it done, Sir.

You smiled more through the helmet. Your rival is surprised by this energy you seemed to have, even before the fight.

Last round. Last two minutes. Just two. C’mon, you can do this, Yn. Nothing is decided yet!

You thought to yourself throwing the first one two. You continued until you hit her with an uppercut, her tiredness was felt as she as didn't cover herself after it, letting you attack in any way. First, a cross, then a down hook. And then one more. Two. Three. Four. Fi- the hand of the referee interfered and cuted you there.

You gave your back to them, you hit your own fists of emotion and lift them up. Seeing the audience screaming, crying, going crazy... These were the moments you live for, they didn't compare to any other you have had ever lived, after all. Gold. That's what they werefor you.

Normally, you would be surprised if your rival got up after this, but, after the Muay Thai technique, you weren't surprised by anything this Annie Leonhart did.

A good rival, no doubt about that.

And when you turned around, you saw what you’ve just thought. The referee gave her 10 seconds and Leonhart tried to help herself to get up with the net.

You jumped a bit again, throwing punches to the air. You didn't feel the tiredness nor the pain. You were in your 110% obsession state. You felt like you could eat the world just now.

Your favorite sensation.

C’mon, get up. I’ll make you fall again!

You smiled.

This was so good for your points.

When the countdown finished, you had the blond-haired right in front of you again.

This is mine.

You thought, as you remembered the analysis you did before this fight started. She was aching, so she’d fainted and dodged a lot. She was not going to attack without caring of the defense any time soon. So if you dominated the distance, you’d have this duel in your hand. You only had to keep her some centimeters away from her punch distance, as you could still hit there.

And it worked! For 30 seconds this strategy gained some good points for you, but as soon as she huged you and breathed a little bit, you knew from her eyes that you’d have to defend more now.

So you dodged and covered yourself. As if it were a guardian angel, your mind thought that Leonhart was going to use some technique of his specialty again. And, thanks to that, you were able to dodge it and counterattack with another sweep. You thoght fast, and a Ōuchi gari was the best option. You pretended to dodge and approached her to hug her and prevent her from pushing you, but you were the one who grabed her arm and shoulder and pusheed them sweeping one leg of hers with yours.

She tried to hold on to you, but she falled on the attempt.

You breathed.

YESS!

You heared your team cheer for you and the crowd filled the ambience with your name. You celebrated it by raising your arms.

You heared her cough and sign when she got up again after a 10 countdown.

The narrator said that there's only one minute left.

This is done. You are done.

You thoughtto yourself, convinced.

You two followed with jabs and crosses, you continued throwing some of them at her. One. Then two. And then three, four… There was no option to maintain the points, you only could look up at the highest you two can get.

You could see it in her face. It was going to be a knockout if you continued. You smiled excited, you had never did so.

But, in the last punch, your eyes connected with her’s. That blue eyes were now transparent. You could see fear in them. The time passed by so slow then. You could sense all your body in tension. Your abdomen, your waist, your feet and your fist. It was well-directed. Like every single one you connected. But something was off. Her eyes. Even though it was difficult to see them through the helmet, you were able to look directly into them. You know she was scared.

Oh…

For a second, your vision got you to that day. You saw a small girl. It was just like Leonhart. Blond, blue eyes, short… It was Historia. You were teaching her some simple movements, you were sparring with her. And you connected an under hook, like you are about to do now. A millisecond passed and you saw her on the floor, aching. She was crying.

A feeling of regret mixed with fear attacked you like poison, and it spreaded throughout your body, circulating like blood, paralyzing each one of your muscles.

No…! Not again!

You stoped in your pivoting, you saw Leonhart now, already on the floor, aching. But that was not what was happening, she dodged the last weak punch and gave a last-hope uppercut.

For her eyes, you knew it was desperate, but for the impact… you didn't feel anything. Nothing at all. Only relief. It was a strange sentiment as you were now falling back, with wind caressing your skin and a huge blow all over your body ended you.

It was a knockout.

“See it this way… at least it’s her first knockout. There’s always a first time” Nanaba tried to cheer up a bit the other coach and the trainer.

“I guess… But she has never feared them, so… I don’t know how this leaves your argument…” Erwin said as Levi remains silent.

You were hearing them, but you weren't seeing them. So you fought to open those eyes of yours. You saw you were laying on the floor, hearing Leonhart’s name being shouted from every direction.

“Hey… you good?” asked Levi softly but loud enough for you to listen, caressing your shoulder with his finger as Nanaba got your head out of the helmet.

You tried to get up but Erwin stoped you.

“Hey, hey, take it easy… You’ve been knocked out” he said looking down at you concerned.

“I’m…” you were trying to say okay but you ended up saying “dizzy” while you rubed your head, all wet and sweaty from the fight.

“Yeah… we know” Nanaba said, trying to dry your hair and forehead a little bit with a towel.

You breathed out calmly after what seemed a lot of time. You saw Eren, Ymir and Historia, the ones that were there today and Hange couldn’t stop before getting on the ring to see you. They saw you from there, worried.

“I’m fine, guys…” you said, making a reassuring gesture, trying to smile, but you were too dizzy. Historia couldn’t help but get your hand.

“You are clearly not, Y/n! You’ve received a knockout!” she screamed, you heared it even through the crowd’s noise. The Reiss hugged you, not caring a bit about all the sweat. She was kind of your apprentice, she looked up at you since she was little. So seeing you this hurt and dizzy hurted her a lot.

Ymir put a hand on her shoulder, and your coaches and trainer let them talk to you, as you were answering without much effort.

“She’ll be okay, Historia, she’s Y/n, after all” the tall girl said.

Next to you and your friends was the blue corner fighter standing up with the arm up by the referee. You couldn't see it from the floor, because Levi’s figure was covering your sight, but Leonhart was looking at you. It seems like she was looking down taking air, but she was indeed glaring at you.

The blond one was giving the final seconds of the fight a thought.

Why did she doubt?

Why did she flinch?

Was that fear in her eyes?

I was not the one hitting her…

Why?

Why?!

Why did she let me win?

It was a bittersweet victory, as Leonhart knew she didn’t deserve it. That if you have had continued with the blows, she would be the one knocked out.

And she couldn't stand that. She didn’t gain the victory. So… why did she win?

What the fuck meant that win then?

She was internally in rage. She couldn't stand a win like that.

But she didn't do anything. She let the referee lift her arm, her friends hug her and her coaches congratulate her.

Some minutes passed, and the public was now thinking about the next fight already.

Ironic, right?

You were left in the Paradis locker to get a shower and change yourself. You put the automatic, it was your house after all, you knew where all was located.

When you were done signing in the cold, nerve-restart shower, you get out of it and put on your rest clothes.

You let your sports shirt fall after it is over your shoulders and finished ordering everything. Out of nothing, someone knocked on the door.

“Uh… You can enter, i’m done” you said thinking it’s Historia again or some of your high level friends as Hange or Rico trying to cheer you up. But when you turned your head you found no less than Annie Leonhart, your rival in the blue corner.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, not daring her or something, just confused “this is the house’s locker room” you said.

“I know where the visitors’ one is, Y/s. I just wanted to talk to you” she said calmly, looking at you for the first time directly, without helmets on or the pressure of being rivals standing on the ring.

You got a moment to analyze her, looking at her from head to toe. Wet hair, gray sweatshirt, baggy sweatpants, shoes without a platform…

As it was a bit long, if she didn’t even take the time to dry her hair that was because the thing she wanted to talk about is important, you realized.

“So what’s up? Shouldn’t you be celebrating your victory with your team?” you asked, still feeling your eyes itch when you say your victory.

“Don’t say that, I don’t even want it if it’s this way” you heared the short one say.

“And you are an amateur? This is sport, you can win or lose in a second. Nothing is decided before the ring sounds. Sentimentalisms and morals don't count” you tryed to be mature about it, but even if you said this, she could feel your voice shaking a bit.

“It’s not about that, obviously I know what a knockout is!” she punched the door. You looked at her as that was what she asked for with that movement, your attention.

“So? What’s the point then?” At this point you only waneted to exit that room and cry on Levi’s lap.

“That you let me do it. Hit you, I mean. You let me. Why?” she explained herself, frowning and not even glancing anywhere but your eyes. She was upset about it.

“What are you saying? I didn’t let you”

“Yes, you did. I saw you. I saw it in your eyes, it was… doubt there… You could punch me right, but you didn’t, and then you stopped” she looked away looking for words. “Why?”

“What? I didn’t do what” you defended yourself. You would die instead of admitting you let a Marley fighter win.

“Don’t be a fool” she said going towards you “You flinched! You doubted! I saw you! Stop avoiding the question and answer me!” she took you by the shirt. She was angry. You let her do so.

“I couldn’t stand going on with that energy” you lied, it’s pretty obvious, but you couldn't think of something better in your exhausted state.

Leonhart doesn’t move, decided to make you split it up. Those big blue eyes are making you nervous.

“I, uh… okay…” you signed, nothing matters now, you lost, and she would not give up until you told her “I…” you looked her in the eyes again “you… I saw you were scared… I saw it in your eyes… and I… I just couldn’t do it, okay? I’m weak, that's all!” you said pushing her, quitting her grip on you and not looking at her surprised expression.

“You… are making fun of me?” she followed you, with a non-believing tone.

“I’m not. You asked me, I answered you. Now, can you leave?” you said, nearly bursting into tears. Saying it was kind of bringing it to reality. Admitting things was always hard for you, after all.

You didn't look at her, but you heared her leave with a quick step. You didn't know if your ears malfunctioned, but you swear you heard a sob.

Well, there was so much sound outside, so you didn't really know what you have heard.

When you are back with your team and friends, you noticed she’s no longer there.

[ ]

Some days passed, and you couldn't understand why she, of all your past rivals, made you doubt. Because obviously you have had seen that scared expression before, but you didn’t let the win go. You didn’t even pay attention to them. So why her?

You tryed to convince yourself that it had to be because of her similar traits with Historia, but you knew something didn't seem right there.

But there was no time to think about it , you had another great fight between the eternal rivals: Paradis and Marley; in Marley’s house this time. The contestants of this contest, if everything went well, were going to be Reiner, in the blue corner, and Eren, who defended the red one.

With Mikasa still treating that knee, Eren asked you to enter with him the ring. You were confused about why didn't he ask Armin. The long haired one told you that it’s because your vibes match better. In other words, you lifted his spirits more.

Some minutes before you were cheering him and helping him to put on his entering suit.

“You have reached a lot this months. Go there and show it to all of them. Reiner is no longer someone you have to see up, it’s on the same level as you, understood?” you said giving pats on his chest.

He smiled proudly “I didn’t mess up asking you to be here with me” he sayd, as a thank you.

You smiled. “Let’s go” you said as you all heared the narrator introducing him.

“In the red corner, the heavyweight of Paradis, The Attack Titan, only surpassed by his own trainer, comes from a defeat, the strongest way that anyone has ever returned to the ring in all history" he took a breath "At 21 years old, 6 feet tall and 176 lbs in weight... With you all tonight: EREN JAEGER!”

You let him, Levi and Hange enter, and steped in behind along with Erwin. You two looked at each other. That small glance only could mean something: this is our revenge, we are gonna win this one.

Eren waved at everyone and hited his own fists after taking off his entering-in-stage clothes.

You put a hand on his shoulder looking at the Marley’s locker room just before their fighter presentation began.

“In the blue corner, right back from an injury in the arm, he’s called by The Armored Titan… by friends… and enemies…” he paused before continuing “With 21 years old too, 182 lbs of weight and 6 feet with 2 inches... REINER BROWN!” as soon as he announced the young man’s name, he entered the stage.

“And, in a few moments, ladies and gentlemen, we will witness a fight as epic as it is long-awaited... The Attack Titan vs The Armored Titan!” the narrator continued talking about their life a bit while they are preparing to fight each other.

You lightly slaped the cheeks of Paradis' fighter "Ready?" you asked him with a decided face.

“Yes, I’m gonna beat his ass” he sayd excitedly, already giving small jumps.

“Let’s go then, attack with all. Always” you cheered him, leaving the ring just because Hange was pulling you out of it.

While you were stepping outside, you see the short blonde from the other day sideways through the audience. You looked the other way when you see that she was staring at you too.

You sat up next to Mikasa, ready to see a good fight between these heavyweights.

The ring sounds and the two fighters collided their gloves peacefully, ready to start pivoting and hitting.

They started throwing some jabs to each other. These were the first seconds, so they were warming up and getting used to the height of each other.

Eren was the first one that got to hit a good up hook, and tried to connect it with more hits, but Reiner recovered from it fast and threw a one two to the shorter one. Eren received it, and Reiner gived him another uppercut.

“Fuck…” you said, concentrated in the match trated in the fight, not really caring about the glance of the blond still on you for some reason she didn't even understand herself.

The two of the heavyweights men moved from side to side, from left to right, dodging the most hits as possible while throwing them at the same time. With all his concentration turned on, Eren gave him another uppercut, his best movement, and connected it with another direct jab and a down hook. Reiner felt his head fall behind, but he recomposed himself. He was not called The Armored Titan for nothing.

The taller fighter continued playing on the defensive side, while Paradis’ Eren striked connected blows. First a one two, an uppercut and then a good down hook. Even if Reiner is the Armored Titan, Eren was still the Attack one.

This looks like it's going to be a close one

“That was a good one, Eren” you congratulated him as he celebrates it marking his arm muscles in a manly motion while Reiner had the referee right in front of him counting him the 10 seconds countdown.

In this moment, you remembered all the 10 seconds countdowns your fight had. You were the one doing some of them, you picture the referee in the same position and the crowd cheering for you both. So you looked up at Leonhart in the public. You were not seeking anything in particular, you just had the urge to do so. To see her.

And there she was, looking at her fellow fighter, calm and serious as always. With her hair tighted in a bun and silent. Making contrast between the hectic and noisy crowd.

The fight continued and the blond one was ready to cover himself up and defend with all his force. And the one in the red corner wasn’t different, ready to attack with all the rage.

Eren forced a good hat trick of blows which Reiner could merely defend. The first one brayd, so the other took advantage of those seconds and attacked with a one two trying to connect it with a cross. But he couldn’t, since Eren covered himself first. Then the blond tried to hit a cross by the other side, this time the other received a bit of the force of the impact. This made his head fall a bit behind, but recovers easily and feints a little bit. Feints that didn’t help him as he got hitted with a jab and an uppercut.

Eren took some seconds to recover, but as he seemed dizzy, the referee stoped Reiner and gave the red corner fighter 10 seconds. When the fight continued, Eren changes the strategy. Analyzing the last blows between him and his rival, realized that, if he could connect more, he wouldn’t be cornered that easily. So that’s what he did. He feinted, hits included, and pivoted more as he dodged the tries to do a jab-cross from Reiner. Then, after some feints, he threw a force punch that hit right in Reiner’s jaw. From there, he continued connecting more force hits as he cornered his rival.

The ring sounded and the referee had to get in the way of the Attack Titan.

One of the technicians put a metalic chair on his corner to sit on it, as well as the other corner did; and the coaches and the trainer standed on the ring. They gave him water and tips they saw he could use to defeat his rival.

“I’m going quickly to get a drink” you said to Mikasa, who was on your right.

“Ah, I'm going with you too” replied Jean on another chair.

“But hurry!” the dark-haired woman warned you two.

“Yeah, yeah” Jean said as he sighed.

“Yes, mum” you responded, pulling your head to the side playfully.

You two went ahead and pour some drinks in two plastic glasses.

“Hey” you heared a soft but strong voice on your left, when Jean was in the opposite corner of the table.

You turned around, surprised to see the blond-haired woman of the fight the other day you two fought.

“Hm! Hey there, came here to see the fight of the heavy weights, uh? Pretty… interesting fight” your friendly and composed vibe falled around when your eyes connect with her’s.

Annie wasn’t frowning or mad, or even staring aggressively into you; but her glare was a bit… unusual. Kinda surprised. You didn’t really know how to describe it. But god, she had a very strong eyeing that madr you stupidly nervous.

She noticed this, and tried to pull out a more soft glare, but didn’t do much at all. You signed, recomposing yourself.

“Yeah, indeed, they are really good. Both of them” Leonhart said.

“Hm” not knowing how to continue, you started to serve yourself with some low-calorie juice you really liked and noticed the girl didn’t move from her spot “Uh, you want some?”

“…Yes” she said, not convinced.

“Then let me serve you” you said, as was natural that you just did those tiny things for people. You put your plastic vase near the dispenser and pushed the button to the juice to spill out of the machine.

“Hey, idiot, aren’t you done already?” murmured Jean coming to you two.

“Umm, near. I’m taking it for her” you leaned back a bit, letting him view the girl that you were covering from his sight.

“Uh, ok. Eh? Aren’t you from Marley. The one that fought with Yn last week?” he realized.

“Yeah, she is” you commented, giving her the drink “Here it is”

“Thanks” she said with a low tone, that sounded different to the other interactions you had or heard about her.

You heard the song BOXER by Stray Kids being played. And, somehow, it gave you the courage to say “I'm staying here, go with the others”.

Annie was nervous for no reason about you leaving since she sensed in her hands the warmth of yours the second you two rubbed them as you gave her the glass.

For a brief moment, Jean looked confused at you, but, even if it was strange in him being friendly, or even chill, with rivals of other clubs, he took the hint and left you, not without a tiny wink.

“The night is your’s, ladies” he joked.

“Shut up” you said.

It was true. It was true for the moment you saw the blond-haired short woman for the first time in the court, no less. She was stunning in every sense, but also worried for no reason and strangely nice with you. You just couldn’t lose the opportunity. Analyzing it, if she was really just being kind to you with really no reason at all, that would end there. And you two probably never talk to each other again, or fight, as Mikasa was coming back in a week or two, just for the next competition between clubs.

But, if not, if she really was into you, and you did nothing but ignore your growing feelings for her, the future would be the same as, knowing her type of personality and interaction with others, she would feel dumb, back off and just not talk to you any more. And you didn’t want that. Not at all.

You smiled, even if it was for a moment you knew this night was gonna be fun, awkwardly fun.

“So… who do you want to win?” you said, noticing the stupidity of the question the second you spell it off “Uh, yeah, quite obvious, uh? Reiner, the Marley’s” you laugh at yourself, not daring looking down to her.

“Yeah” out of nothing, even your calculations, she laughed. Annie just laughed. Annie, the cold Marley’s fighter, had laughed at one thing you said.

Imposible

You thought, but it happened. And it made you look at her, her face itching to give you a radiant smile, full of laughter and eyes closed in total harmony. You swore you could see her laugh all day long.

Totally out of any perception of your reality at that moment, the second round started. Sweat running their tensed bodies, jabs being thrown every ten seconds and two big weights contesting the fight of the day.

“You know” out of your calculations, another time, she said “The other night, I’m still curious about that flinch of yours” almost doubting, Annie pulled out the question.

You sign, eyes down to your drink, cupping it between your hands. This made you lose the look the blond gave you, worried about have fucked it up. But, you got her unexpected too “Christa. You know, one of my club. The short one that’s always with Ymir”

“Yeah… what's up with her?” curious, she questioned.

You didn’t even know why, but you explained that to a Marley fighter. No, not to a Marley fighter. To Annie, who still was it, but she was now more than that.

“So, I don’t know if it was the physique or what, but … I had kind of a deja vu” you sighed in your story “You know, sometimes I ask myself if I’m really made for this… world” looking up to the fight before you “Sometimes it’s just so, I don’t know, violent…”until you felt too exposed and back it off “You might wanna laugh at me now, a boxer having fear to box, how ironic, uh?” you say, covering the tears with a masked smile you know really well from years of practice, adding a small laugh.

But when you looked at her, you knew your actuation was not necessary anymore.

“No, it’s not a silly thing” the blond-haired said seriously “It’s quite normal, indeed. Sometimes, even I, feel that doubt” you looked at her astonished. That made her look down at her feet “The aggressivity of our hits, the pain we can cause, the, even, careers or lives we could end in a two minutes round. It’s huge” says in a breath ”And the weight on our shoulders depends on it, as well as our reputation, the discipline and eagerness we put in each training each day. It’s really overwhelming. So don’t feel weak for that, because you are quite the opposite. You are strong, Yn” she said, clapping your back with her hand.

You wanted to cry, lay in her arms, have a life with her by your side. The feelings were overwhelming. You were told that other times, yeah, by Eren, Mikasa or, even, Ymir; but Annie. Her saying it was different. It was not about validation or acknowledgement, it was something about her. Talking to you. Making you feel proud of yourself because of your own gains, not done to praise her or anything. Just the “you” for the “you”. And that was golden. It really was.

You showed a bitter-sweet smile, without looking up again ”Thanks. I’m gonna spin it up a couple of times in my head though” you said, finally free to take your chin up, looking at the gym, at the crowd and at the night itself, showing her reality, your reality of it, right there.

“Good. That question is worth answering it from time to time” and after some seconds, she added in a joking manner”And when I say strong, I don’t mean only physically”

She gave you a slight punch on the triceps. You laughed, it was cute seeing her like this.

”You too, you too”

The ambience became more calm and collected. You two were happy with the other’s presence. You two have been exchanging looks from time to time during the third round until the party moved on to a disco. At the end of the day, you were all humans, and if Eren and Reiner could have a beer together after literally fighting to death, you all could.

However, Annie stayed near you the whole time. It was like an artwork. You could never get tired of seeing and wanting to review every part of her, just to never paint a drawing that could equal the feeling she made you experiment. It was just impossible, and you liked it that way.

“Hey… you know you are too pretty” you said in one of these watching expeditions that interested you more than the actual combat.

For a brief moment you saw her smile drawn in her face, just to be turned to the other side, take air and finally face you, her hand on the table.

“It may be irrational, but I do think the same for you. Normally I do not see the others that way, I just don’t care”

“It’s not supposed to be rational, is it? Neither normative or sound possible” you replied, getting closer to her.

“You know, you have really flaming eyes, and that I like that so much about you” Annie took another step, in that moment, your bodies were nearly brushing to each other. And the height difference was really noticeable at this point. But you two only thought it was so cute.

“You do?” you said, taking a strand of her golden, perfect hair behind her ear.

“Mhmmh”she mumbled.

You two looked so close, and you didn’t want it to be far. The song was oblivious, just a rhythm your head was accustomed to, the others screaming and fighting a bit, outer noise; you were there, Annie before you, with only a thing in your minds.

You leaned over her and your lips touching made an electric current go all the way through your senses as well as your body. Her lips were soft but rough, a combination that suited her very well. Your bones filled with waves of fire and your soul being sieged by flames of water, touching your every muscle and bursting every one of your cognitive connections. It was like each part of that dead star that made your body functioning alone all this time was lighted up and finally made its way to the eruption.

You’ve been locked in here forever

And you just can’t say goodbye

Your lips, my lips

APOCALYPSE

Your lips, my lips

APOCALYPSE

Go and sneak us through the rivers

Flood is rising up on your knees

Oh, please

Come out and haunt me

I know you want me

Come out and haunt me

You smiled, recognizing the lyrics, Cigarettes After Sex made its appearance just in time.

“Are you an uppercut? Cause you got me hooked” you joked, making her laugh.

Annie was astonished, even if she kissed you, even if she came to that snacks and drinks table just to talk to you, even if she worried that much that, the first time she saw you flinch, she runned to watch out for you, she haven’t had thought you would mean this much to her. Even if her own heart was screaming it at your very first sight. But, with this kiss, she knew it, she knew she didn’t want to kiss anyone but you the rest of her life.

“So… wanna go for a drink and kiss in the most embarrassing moments of songs?” you asked, laughing softly.

“I couldn’t want it more” she answered, a smile printed on her face, caressing your cheek before getting on her toes and giving you a soft kiss. The brush felt like heaven down at the earth, she surely was just like magic.

---

I also posted this on AO3 :D Link Below. Thanks for reading, hope you like it as I liked to write it.

Are you a jab? 'Cause you got me hooked | Annie Leonhart x reader | Modern AU Boxing AU | +18 - Tonks21 - Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan [Archive of Our Own]

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genshingorlsrevengeance · 1 year

Text

(Attack on Titan) Annie "sparring" with her S/O

Annie raises an eyebrow when she hears her S/O's question.

(Annie) "You don't want me to hold anything back?"

(S/O) "No, I need to train after all. I wouldn't know anyone better."

(Annie) "...Fine. Remember, you asked for this."

Annie gets into fighting stance as S/O throws the first punch.

Immediately, Annie steps to the right, trips their leg and pushes them onto the ground.

The next attack, she sweeps them off their feet, making them land on their back.

And the next.

This process repeated itself for about ten minutes.

S/O was on the floor, looking up at the sky as she walked over to them.

(Annie) "How about now?"

(S/O) "...ow."

(Annie) "Thought so."

She offers one hand up to her S/O, helping them up.

(S/O) "Thanks."

(Annie) "Hm."

She would feel slightly bad, but in fairness she did warn them.

And Annie did make it up with some quality time after training.

Even if that quality time was helping ease their bruises that she inflicted.

#attack on titan imagines #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan headcanons #annie leonhart x reader #annie leonhart #annie leonhart x you #annie leonhart x y/n

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lady-lunaaa · 1 year

Text

Nice

Pairing: Annie Leonhart x f!reader

Rating: Mature (mostly sfw, a little suggestive)

Warnings: none really, just some cutesie couple stuff with Annie because she deserves it <3

WC: 1.4K

a/n: just a lil' spring drabble because i'm enjoying the season and I have Annie brainrot. this idea was inspired by some of my favourite fanart of Annie painting Bertie and Rei's nails 🥺 please check out the artist - they draw all the aot babes beautifully! Thank you to my gorgeous wife @dabilove27 as always for being my beta, I adore you <3

The weather was perfect; the sun warmed your exposed skin as the spring breeze played gently with your hair. You were currently kneeling in the grass and painting Annie's toenails while she lay stretched out on a lounger. Her arms were slung over the sides and her face was tipped towards the sun as she basked in the warmth looking for all she was worth like a very pretty and spoiled feline. You smiled to yourself as you had an idea, carefully painting the outline of a kitty onto her big toe, concentrating on not messing up your handiwork.

Annie often painted your nails for you (and Bertolt and Reiner's if they didn't run away from her fast enough). She claimed to find it calming, and you had to admit, she was right. The sounds of birdsong and trickling water from the pond helped, it was very zen in the garden, and a rare moment to have it all to yourselves. Bertie and Rei were out with friends which meant the house you all shared was a lot less crowded than usual.

You zoned out while you worked, barely aware of the way your tongue stuck out of the corner of your mouth in concentration. Annie noticed though. She noticed the way your brow furrowed in concentration as you worked gently and precisely. She would never admit it but she liked being pampered this way by you, just having you close while she did nothing at all in particular. It was peaceful. She felt peaceful around you. It was truly a testament to her feelings for you that she let her guard down so completely in your presence. You, on the other hand, never had any trouble giving all of yourself to Annie from day one. She just elicited that desire in you to earn her trust and companionship - much like the cats she was so fond of.

It was lucky the sun was out as it dried the polish quickly avoiding any smudges. You'd opted for a soft shell pink for Annie today, a little different from her usual black, and it matched her cropped top perfectly. The tiny pink straps hugged her delicate shoulders, the fabric flaring out around her stomach and showing off the little black gem sparkling at her navel. Annie was wearing tight, black hot pants today on account of the weather and they framed her athletic build in a tantalising display. Her muscled thighs were squished together in her seat and you had trouble staying fully focused on your task.

You felt Annie shift imperceptibly, not wanting to jog your hand, and you adjusted your grip on her heel accordingly. She was watching you. You didn't need to look up to tell. She often watched you while you did things, like reading in your favourite chair or making yourself a snack in the kitchen. Her stare was always silent and intense and it often unnerved you. You'd never had anyone watch you quite so intently before. You didn't mind of course, it was flattering, but you knew she'd call you out for doing the same to her - call you a simp or a creep. Lovingly, of course.

Eventually you looked up at her face, one striking blue eye was cracked open and watching you. She was squinting slightly in the light, her nose scrunching with the action - she looked so damn cute. You watched her watching you for a moment before you spoke. "What do you think you're looking at?" Your voice held a challenge as you raised a brow at her questioningly.

"Your face." She replied bluntly, tucking her bangs behind one ear.

You stifled a smile, "Oh yeah? And what about it?" You couldn't help but push her a little, wanting to mock her for so obviously staring. You'd been together for several months now and Annie often appeared as stoic as ever, which meant you had to savour every little moment you caught her being vulnerable or affectionate. Despite her obvious impatience at your teasing, you knew she enjoyed it really. She was often cheekier than you at times.

She sniffed at you and crossed her arms over her chest. "It's nice."

"Wow, you're such a romantic, Leonhart!'' You pretended to swoon at her words, holding a hand to your chest, careful not to jab yourself with the nail brush and ruin your favourite blouse.

Annie leant forward to swat your arm and you tipped back out of her reach, laughing as you wobbled on your toes, your knees leaving the ground for a moment. She rolled her eyes and flopped back into the lounger, extending a muscled leg and wiggling her toes at you commandingly. She wasn't a huge conversationalist but that worked out well since your brain and mouth worked a mile a minute. Sometimes you'd both sit in each other's company for hours without talking - just doing your own things together. She taught you to slow down and enjoy the little moments.

You settled back into place and grasped her wiggling foot with an exaggerated sigh, content with your games for now, and dipped the brush back into the polish so you could paint the last of her nails.

Once you finished, you screwed the top back onto the bottle and ducked your head to kiss the inside of Annie's ankle to signal that you were done. She attempted to pull free from your grasp to check the final look but you only tightened your fingers around her foot. You firmly held her still and pressed another kiss to the inside of her calf. And then another to the inside of each knee, bending her leg until her foot rested on the striped fabric of the lounger. Her skin was warm and slightly sticky with suncream.

You looked up at her as you hovered over her thigh, breath fanning over her bare skin, and all the while she watched you placidly. She looked calm, almost bored, but you saw her chest rise and fall a little quicker than normal. She had a faint blush running across the apples of her cheeks and the sunshine had brought out the spatter of freckles across her nose. She was the most striking woman you'd ever seen, all at once delicate and strong, powerful and dainty. No wonder you'd fallen hard. You waited, stringing out the moment, your lips ghosting her soft flesh….

And then you sat back with a sigh. "So, my face is nice, huh?" The look Annie gave you was one of flustered irritation as she clicked her tongue between her teeth. You loved riling her up till she took what she wanted, her countenance shifting from impassive to determined, those blue eyes bright with want. It was your favourite look on her. Her manicured hand shot out to grab the collar of your shirt in a clenched fist and she leant down until her face was inches from your own. Her forwardness always managed to surprise you, even when you pushed at her patience, hoping for that exact outcome. You were at mercy to her whim and your cockiness deserted you as you relaxed into her grip without thinking.

"Don't be a tease." Her voice was smooth as silk, low and commanding, and it made your stomach flip. Her brazen attitude that seemed to emerge without warning gripped you by the throat every single time. It was thrilling - never truly knowing when she would strike with those pretty claws. Now it was your turn to cast her a bashful gaze as your mind stumbled over itself trying to recover.

Luckily, Annie ended your internal struggle with her lips crashing into your own. Her fingers twisted into the cotton of your blouse as your mouths moved together, hot, bruising and insistent - a far cry from your earlier light-hearted behaviour. She smelled like sunshine and you could taste the lingering flavour of the strawberries you had for breakfast on her tongue. She took your breath away, stealing it from your lungs as you explored her mouth greedily, lost in her taste and touch.

When you finally pulled apart, you rested your forehead against hers and gave a lazy grin. "If that's my reward for being a tease then I think I'm okay with it."

Annie smiled gently at your love drunk expression and you drank in the sight of her pretty pink lips curving upwards. It really was a perfect day. You hoped you'd get many more spring days like this with her. That would be nice.

Thank you for reading! 💙

Dividers by @/firefly-graphics

#attack on titan fanfiction #annie leonhart x reader #annie leonhart #annie leonhart x you #aot fanfic #snk fanfic #my writing #🌜luna writes🌛

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marsbutterfly · 2 years

Note

dying for anything to do w sub! annie 🙁

The Ribbon On Top

Word Count: 1.2k | Wattpad! | Bottom! Annie Leonhardt

Warnings: nsfw, bottom! annie, top! reader, light bondage, blindfolds, pet names (reader calls annie a good girl), strap-on, dildo.

Annie's breathing is irregular, her eyes blindfolded with a black cloth while her wrists are tied to the edge of the bed, the soft fabric leaving behind a few reddish marks as she moves around, back arching when your mouth comes in contact with her core.

"Aah, y/n," she moans, your name falling from her lips with ease as a gush of wetness comes in contact with your tongue. You smile against her.

"That's it, say my name again," you demand, opening your eyes only to notice that her cheeks are now a bright shade of red, her lips are sealed shut and her embarrassment causes her voice to die in her throat, so you decide to give her some encouragement.

Your warm tongue goes through her soaked slit and, in response, Annie raises her hips in a desperate search for more contact. You use the tip to rub circles around her swollen and exposed clit, oversensitive from all the extra stimulation she's been receiving since the past two orgasms.

"y/n," she stumbles around her words, hands curling into fists as she tries to break away from the ribbons. There is nothing she wants more than to wrap her fingers around the locks of your hair, pulling on it to earn a few delighted moans out of you, but she knows you want to make this all about her.

Using one hand, you spread her folds apart to give your tongue a better access to the bud. With the other, you use two fingers to play with the opening of her pussy, teasingly rubbing the area to earn quiet, breathless moans out of her.

Annie tries desperately to lower herself on your fingers, silently begging you to place them inside of her. She pushes her hips down, her pale skin glowing when the bright light of the room reflects over the mess she has made.

"Eager, aren't we?" You tease her and, in response, she growls quietly.

"S-shut up, aah," her voice is quiet though the sentence is rushed, she wants you to feel good about your actions and, to validate you, Annie decides to use her moans instead of words.

When your fingers enter her already stretched pussy, her walls tighten around your digits as she milks away every last ounce of pleasure you present her with.

Annie raises her pelvis, trapping your fingers inside while your tongue rushes to meet her clit once more. Your eyes are fixated on her, how desperate she is for you to touch her more and how flustered her cheeks are as she even thinks about asking.

Eventually, she decides to get over herself. "y/n?"

"Yes, my love?" You respond, pulling your lips away from her while resting your chin on the top of her pussy.

"Will you fuck me with the strap?" She begs and, even though her eyes are covered, she still moves her head to the side in the hopes of avoiding your gaze. A devious smile curls on your lips as the idea takes a hold in your mind.

You lift your body off of the bed and you tower over Annie as she lets you kiss her, deep and passionate now. This was something she could not contain, like the urge for one more glass of wine at the end of the night, knowing it was probably a bad idea but wanting anyway, intoxicating almost. There was little on your mind except bringing her physical pleasure.

You smile, knowing that she can't see you but you can't help it, as you begin to walk towards her. You slowly crawl onto the bed and immense lust takes over the shine in your eyes.

Placing one leg on each side of her hips, you begin adjusting the leather straps, making sure that they are tight around your hips so it won't fall off in the middle of your intense thrusting.

Annie whimpers before you say “Fuck me now, y/n!”

Slowly, you shift positions as Annie wraps her legs around your waist, giving you full access to her aching core. Without any resistance, you glide the phallic object towards her entrance, using the tip to rub against her clit a few times and it earns gentle moans out of her.

Once you enter her, she can feel the way her body stretches to receive you and, though you can't see it, it causes her eyes to roll to the back of her head. Your hand grabs ahold of the headboard and it supports your body while the dildo hits exactly her right spot.

"Good girl baby," you whisper in her ear, "so wet for me."

She can feel it - the pressure bubbling in her lower stomach, toes curling as she keeps her legs hooked on your back despite all the sweat that comes from both of your bodies.

Annie screams your name as she allows the overwhelming wave of the orgasm to take control of her body. She tugs her hands, the muscles of her arm showing up as she flexes in an attempt to set herself free.

It nearly breaks the headboard.

A few seconds go by and you are still thrusting into Annie with full force. Your hand finds her clit as you drag out what remained of the pleasure wave, her legs shaking desperately as she traps your hips, taking in the full length of the dildo.

After the waves of the orgasm had subsided, you pull yourself out of her and she whines, finally releasing the grip her legs had on you. With a wet sound, the dildo pops out and you sit back onto your feet, unbuckling the strap.

Annie softly cries for you, wanting nothing more than to be cuddled.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," you reassure her, throwing the object away onto the floor. Secondly, you pull the blindfold down onto her neck where it loosely sits, her blue eyes meet yours and, for just a split second, your heart nearly stops. They are the most beautiful thing you have ever seen.

Though she is squinting, you make sure that your eyes meet when you bring your hand towards her cheek, using your thumb to caress her face. She nuzzles into your touch and you notice that her pupils dilate when she looks at you.

Slowly, you bring your face closer to hers. It takes mere milliseconds for your lips to meet but the distance feels like over a thousand miles long, they could not come crashing against each other any faster.

Her soft, velvety lips on yours bring a comforting sensation over you and, as you place your free hand on her chest, you can feel how her heart is racing. It's endearing the way a simple action like this could get her going.

Once you pull away, you lay your head on her chest, allowing the beatings of her heart to lull you to sleep.

"y/n," she says, quietly. You open your eyes to meet hers again, "Can you untie me now?"

"Oh shit, yeah of course"

"I would also not be opposed to doing this again," Annie says, eyes averting your gaze and you offer her your best smile.

"Definitely."

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tsukidrama · 2 years

Text

please be... alive

[ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ← ] [ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴡᴏ ← ] { ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ }

ᴀɴɴɪᴇ ʟᴇᴏɴʜᴀʀᴅᴛ x ғᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ / ᴄᴀɴᴏɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟɪᴀɴᴛ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢѕ: graphic depictions of (canon-typical) violence, blood/gore and dead bodies, betrayal, angst/hurt, religious trauma, and references to child abuse

Summary: You finally learn the truth about who Annie really is, but find that you're still in denial until it's too late. The past catches up with you in an unexpected way. (also known as Reader and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day)

cottagecanon | ao3 | wattpad | art | ♫

Word Count: 17.4k

Author’s Note: sorry just sorry, all around. this chapter took me forever to write. life stuff and also because for some reason with this one i've been overwhelmed by the fear of Being Cringe?? i don't really care about that so i'm not really sure why

thank you so very much to the lovely @eiimikos for agreeing to beta read this for me! i appreciate you & your time more than i can properly express considering ... the content. QUEEN SHIT ONLY!

“State your name for the record, please,” says the military officer, their pen scratching against the top sheet of a hefty stack of files.

“Cadet Lastname…” you reply nervously, “Y/N.”

Another scratch of the pen, and the officer adjusts their glasses. You haven’t been in the Survey Corps long enough to learn everyone’s names, but you recognized this one – they’re a Section Leader.

One of the nice ones, if you remembered correctly. Though now that you’re up close, they’re a lot more intimidating than you had anticipated, even if they are a little… kooky?

“Alright cadet, let’s go ahead and get started. I assume that you know why you’re here.”

You twiddle your thumbs underneath the table. “I know that everyone in my training class is being interviewed. It has to do with the failed expedition, right?”

“Yes. As you know, we’re looking for what might be behind the attacks on the Scouting Legion. We suspect it to be an Intelligent Titan hiding within our midst.”

“And you think I know something about that?” you ask. Suddenly, you’re scared. Alarm bells start going off in the back of your head and there’s a pit gnawing in your stomach.

“We have reason to believe you’re well-acquainted with our primary suspect,” Hanji continues as your stomach drops, “Tell me everything that you know about Annie Leonhardt.”

It’s like your entire world slows down. Your gut twists as nausea bubbles up your throat. Trying to remain calm seems impossible, and you’re sure that your physical reaction gives you away. Sweat drips down your brow as your heart races, your pupils dilating.

Eventually, all that comes out is a tiny squeak. “Annie?”

The officer nods. Surprisingly, they don’t seem to pick up on your nervousness and instead they begin to elaborate. “Yes. Annie Leonhardt, stationed with the Military Police, graduated from the same Training Corps as you did. She was fourth in your graduating class,” they elaborate.

Your face burns. “Yeah. I – I know who she is.”

“Can you explain the nature of your relationship?” they ask, and to your horror, they start writing again.

Panic starts to set in. “Um, friends?” you say, and you break out into a cold sweat, “We’re uh… close? Um… we’re friends, I think. Uh, close friends.”

They look up at you, somewhat in amusement. It’s humiliating. You want to disappear into the floor. At least it gets them to stop writing, even if they are giving you a knowing smirk.

“You’re… close friends?” Hanji repeats.

Your face goes a bright red. You want to find a better way to define it; to explain that you did spend a lot of time together without making yourself seem like you’re some kind of teenage harlot or a stupid lust-addled kid who’s in over her head.

“Yuh-huh,” is what comes out instead.

Shifting nervously in your seat is an obvious tell, but it’s so oppressively uncomfortable that you physically can’t sit still. You scratch your cheek and push your hair back behind an ear.

“Ohh-kay, moving on then…” “During the Scouting Expedition, did you have any close contact with the Female-form Titan?”

“No, not really. I saw it, but only from a distance.”

“Her,” Hanji corrects, “not it.”

Your blood grows cold. She couldn’t be suggesting what was growing increasingly obvious with every moment. It feels like you can’t breathe – do you even want to?

“You… you think that Annie–?”

“One of your comrades has said the Titan physically resembles Leonhardt. Can you speak to this, as her… uhm, close friend?”

Something clicks into place that makes you go entirely rigid. It… did. Even beyond the outward monstrous traits and visible muscle, your brain suddenly makes sense of certain details that just didn’t fit. Why HAD the Female Titan looked so familiar? Why did you feel like you recognized the way it held itself up, or the way it moved while it ran?

No, this was Annie you’re talking about. You knew her. You LOVED her. If she was caught up in this somehow, it had to be a mistake. You wish that you could talk to her… It would make you feel a lot less conflicted if you could get her side of the story here. You’re hesitant to say anything that might get her in more trouble than she was already in.

Finally, you answer. “Well, Annie has blonde hair, too?” you squeak. It’s weak, and both of you know it.

In return, you get a dead-eyed glare. “I see… That’s really all you have to say about that?”

You want so badly to be able to trust Annie. If you could find her and ask her to explain all this evidence, to explain her weird and sketchy behavior, maybe it would make some sense. Maybe you could help her, or at the very least figure out what to tell the military for them to take her into captivity peacefully…

You feel yourself starting to shake. “Just that — it’s not her,” you mutter, “it can’t be her. She wouldn’t do this.”

Hanji looks up at you, glasses glinting in the firelight. They give you an odd look, one of pity.

“All the evidence is pointing in another direction,” they explain. Although their intention is to convey seriousness, the harshness in their voice makes you shrink away. “Either you didn’t know her as well as you think you do, or you’re hiding something too. I want to let you know that if you’re in league with those who wish to bring harm to–”

“–No!” you interrupt, “I would never do that. Never!” Immediately you cover your mouth, but Hanji still gives you a stern look.

“I’m sorry…” you say, and curse yourself for how much it sounds like an afterthought.

They don't acknowledge it anyway. Another few moments are filled with the sound of pen on paper, then they flip a page.

“If there’s something you know, you need to tell me now. The longer you keep this information to yourself, the less trustworthy you seem. I want to be able to talk to you freely, Y/N. The next step from here is a jail cell.”

You’re sweating, but a chill runs down your spine. This was very quickly getting a lot more serious than you thought was possible. “You can trust me… I really think that you’re wrong about Annie, though. She’s not as heartless as everyone else thinks.”

You’re getting increasingly shrill, but Hanji is surprisingly listening intently. They nod, then close the file and set the pen down on top of it.

Now, they approach you on a personal level. “You care about her, right?” they ask.

Your blush returns. “What?”

“It’s okay. You’re young. You’re allowed to have feelings.”

“That’s not even the point I’m making. Listen to me, I know her,” you insist, “and she would tell me if she had killed anyone – I know that she would have told–”

Your voice dies in your throat as you remember all the odd things she’s said over the years that don’t add up. All of the apologies for seemingly no reason, the guilt and overwhelm when hearing about the victims of the walls, and especially after the Battle of Trost.

Especially after Marco died.

Your senses blurs together as you think about everything she’s ever said to you in a new light. You feel physically sick, freezing and burning hot, alight with pain and heartbreak but also completely numb. Annie’s voice echoes in your head, and your consciousness is bombarded with the memories of things she said that didn’t quite add up.

“I’m not a good person,” she had said. “Maybe you should hate me,” she had said. “You don’t understand. Maybe I AM getting too attached…”

You’re an idiot for not seeing it before. How could you overlook such obvious guilt, such strange behavior? Are you really so lovestruck that none of the weird things she’s said have conveyed otherwise?

“I’m not the kind of person you can take home to your parents.” she told you once. You’d been so quick to shove off your parents that you didn’t stop to think about what she meant by that.

“What I mean is that it’s me, and I know I’ll screw it up at some point… I know that you care about me, but I don’t deserve an easy life.” she had told you. You thought she was being self-derogatory. “I’m too much of a coward to deserve your kindness, or your love,” she’d said. Even if she was speaking from her heart, you hadn’t entertained the thought that she was being objective.

Tears well up in your eyes. You want to disappear into your forearms. Is this really happening?

Hanji gives you another sad, pitying look. “She has, hasn’t she? That’s what’s happening right now, isn’t it? Something doesn’t add up and you’ve just realized it.”

“I – I… she…” you stutter, too overwhelmed to confirm, “No. It couldn’t be…”

A long beat passes where you’re given the space to process your feelings. Hanji puts down their pen and closes the file to talk to you properly, face to face. You lift your head to meet their gaze, though it still hangs low with shame.

“Yes, it can. And it is. She is,” Hanji tells you, sternly. A chill goes down your spine at the conviction with which they speak. “I need to know everything. Did she ever tell you anything about a goal? Or a motive?”

“No… just to join the Military Police. Normal stuff… she wanted to stay alive.”

They look up at you, and their expression is surprisingly soft. “We want to keep her alive, too. I think it’s important you understand that.”

You nod. “Okay.” Although you’re still not comfortable, you feel a little bit more at ease after hearing that.

“Well go on, then,” they urge.

Wait, you’re supposed to say something? You break out into a cold sweat.

What are they expecting, for you to break down every step of your relationship? That seems counterproductive at best and invasive at worst. You feel yourself shriveling right back up.

“Uhh, what’s the question?” you squeak, knowing full well that one was not asked. This is much more pressure than you’re prepared to handle.

Hanji just sighs, seemingly disappointed. You wonder what information they could possibly be expecting for you to volunteer under these circumstances. Apparently much more than you’re capable of or are comfortable with.

They move on. “Well, what about the night that my two captured Titans were killed? Were you aware of her whereabouts in the early morning the day before your graduation?”

You freeze. That was the night she had climbed in through your window.

It felt like ages ago at this point, but between the undeniable weirdness when she came in, the steaminess just after, and finally the ‘I love you’ note, ensures that you certainly won’t be forgetting that encounter anytime soon.

The decision you made back then to stay quiet looms in the back of your mind. You swallow dryly, now knowing for certain that it was the wrong choice.

“She… she came to see me,” you admit. “Before the morning rounds…”

Immediately, Hanji’s look sharpens. They look you straight in the eye. “When did you see her and how long did she stay? Did she visit you before or after the Titans were killed?”

“Early, before the sun,” you stutter, “She stayed for about an hour. I think it was after.”

Suddenly, an accusatory finger pointed toward you. “So she told you that she had killed them?”

You blanch and scramble to correct yourself. “No! No, she didn’t say a thing. All I know is that she showed up. She was acting weird.”

“Elaborate, please.”

You start blushing, and you hope that the yellowish light doesn’t give way to how red you’ve become. “I don’t know. She came through the window and she had on a full set of ODM gear. She wasn’t talking a lot.”

“A full set of ODM gear – does that include blades?” Hanji asks, “What did she say while she was there?”

“Yes,” is all you reply with. You feel the stare it earns you and you shut down a little bit.

“Why did she visit you?” she asks, more pointedly. “What did you talk about?”

You stare straight ahead and try to hold your face together. You do not make eye contact. “Uh… she really was NOT talking very much.”

All you receive is a blank look in return, and a nod signaling for you to elaborate.

You squirm in your seat. “She was… doing other stuff?” you say.

Holy shit, really? Is there a way to go back in time and unsay something?

Hanji stares at you for a few seconds trying to comprehend. The wheels turn in their mind, then they give you a bit of a look and an arch of the eyebrow.

“Is that teenager lingo for ‘sex’ these days?” they ask. “All this vaguity is going above my head at this point.”

The shame becomes too great, and you collapse with your head in your arms. Your ears are steaming.

“I’ll go ahead and take that as a yes,” Hanji muses, chuckling to themself. “You know, you ARE allowed to have sex. Nobody with a pulse will judge you for that.”

Did you seriously just admit in a military interview, to a superior officer, that you’d gotten laid?

You’re not sure how to react, and you stay frozen up. “I’m not going to… get in trouble?”

“Get in trouble?” they ask, like they have no idea what you’re talking about.

Your blush is what eventually clues them in to the implications of what you’re asking. “Ohhh! Oh, of course not. That’s not what the issue is here. All I need to know is if she said anything about the Titans that morning, and anything else is your business. ”

“No, she didn’t,” you reply, muffled by your arms. “All she said was that she wanted to see me. I heard people yelling but she didn’t want me to look.”

“And just to confirm, you didn’t see the street below?”

“No, I didn’t,” you reply, and without even really having a specific thing in mind, you add: “I’m sorry.”

You’re sorry for being stupid. You’re sorry for not realizing what should have been glaringly obvious. Now you escalate beyond twiddling your thumbs. You graduate to full-on skin picking as you claw your cuticles haphazardly.

“I think this is the hard evidence we needed” Hanji mutters, “Your testimony confirms that Annie Leonhardt was in the vicinity at the time of the killings equipped with full gear, just as we suspected. We hope to have her in custody by tomorrow night, if everything goes according to plan. You’ll be informed about the details of the operation as needed.”

Their words make your blood run cold. You don’t want to be responsible for Annie’s downfall.

“I don’t…” you choke, fighting back tears. “I don’t want her to be hurt. I think she would come with me willingly.”

Hanji considers it. They had taken you much more seriously than any other military officer would have, and you try to be appreciative of that. Maybe the relatability that got you to open up will work the other way around. It’s clear that they have the capacity for empathy.

After a long pause and some consideration, Hanji seems to have come to a similar conclusion on their own.

“We’re open to that possibility. But if she doesn’t, we are going to use whatever force we deem necessary.”

Tears well up in your eyes. “Just let me talk to her, okay?” you beg. “Let me go with them.” Hanji has reasoned with you this far, so what is one more plea?

In response, you get another look of pity and derision. You fully expect to be denied, so when Hanji nods and gestures for you to continue, you’re not sure what to say.

Honestly, you just say whatever bullshit you think will be enough to convince them. By the time you’re released from the interview, you can’t remember half of what came out of your mouth.

Your stomach doesn’t untwist for days.

The trap goes as smoothly as anyone could have hoped at first.

Stohess is your hometown – you know the back alleys and side streets better than the other cadets, and guide them through quiet streets as the focus. You know the way better than any of them.

You remember how to get to the underground tunnels. The plan is that you’ll lead everyone downstairs. So badly you want this to go away that you find yourself praying, actually down on your knees, that the military is wrong about everything they said, that she’ll prove her innocence.

Your stomach aches from the moment you wake up. The last thing you want to do is trick her, but it’s the only way you can get face-to-face with her without it being seen as sneaky.

So when the Scouts pass through on the main road, you and Armin stand in an alleyway waiting and watching. A few of the Military Police cadets run past and as the boy next to you nudges you, you snap to attention.

Unsurprisingly, Annie hangs towards the back of the group. Your blood runs cold at the sight of the familiar way she ties her hair. It’s been so long since you’ve seen her that more than anything, you miss her.

For a split second, you forget why you’re there. She’s far enough away from everyone else that you feel comfortable calling out her name from the shadows.

“Hey, Annie!”

It’s the first and last thing that you can bring yourself to say. You had every intention to help contribute to the ruse but seeing her face makes you freeze up entirely. Helplessly, you look over at Armin.

“I can’t do it,” you whisper frantically.

His eyes widen. “What? But she’s coming over here expecting to see you.”

“Well I’m still here, aren’t I? I just need you to do the talking, okay?!”

You’re so frazzled that you’re about to start shaking him by the shoulders. Luckily, he nods in agreement just as Annie ducks into the alleyway.

There’s a moment of awkward silence as she stares at the two of you, shocked. You raise your hand to give a weak little wave and it seems to wake her up. She shakes her head, furrowing her brow.

“Why are you two dressed like that?”

Armin manages to handle the situation well considering that you’d shoved it on him at the last second. You nod beside him and actively fight to keep a grimace off of your face.

The whole time he talks you fight back nausea. Some darker emotion creeps at the edge of your mind. At first, you interpret it as guilt for tricking her. Later on, it feels more like fear.

Fear of what might happen? Fear of her? You don’t even try to narrow it down in the aftermath.

In the end, your presence is what convinces her to tag along. At first she’s apprehensive, edgy. She’s still suspicious based on the way her hackles stay up, but it’s almost like she’s trying to prove something.

She agrees because she wants to be a good person, you reason. Did your incorrect assumption her intentions were good lead to what would happen next?

For the first time ever, you’re grateful for the fact that Annie doesn’t like public displays of affection. Most of the time when the two of you walked side by side, you were itching you slip your hands into hers – but not today. Today, you stand a meter clear of her with both hands shoved in your pockets.

It’s been a month since you’ve last seen her. Every time you thought about this scenario when you reunite, you were excited to see her. You pictured yourself throwing your arms around her and kissing her face, spinning her around, and sneaking off somewhere private.

Never did you imagine that you’d be so averse to touching her. So why are you so hurt whenever she keeps the same distance? Why does it make you so upset that she didn’t pull you close as soon as she saw you?

The conversation is awkward and short-lived. You worry that she can sense that something is wrong by the way she questions the legitimacy of the plan.

Three becomes five when you meet up with Eren and Mikasa. The dark-haired boy talks quietly as he goes over the decoy plan.

If you’d been the one to explain it, you’d have given it away. The entire time you’re expecting the plan to go awry, and you’re conflicted. If you’re so convinced that she was innocent, why are you so scared right now? In retrospect, you aren’t sure how you ever thought anything else would happen.

When you reach the staircase leading underground, your stomach drops as you feel Annie tensing up beside you.

The rest of you descend the steps as she stays rooted in place. Annie stares down at the four of you with horror in her eyes, and finally, it seems to hit her. The tension is so thick that you struggle to breathe, but you will yourself to keep up a poker face.

“I’m not going down there…” she says.

She’s caught on. There’s too much tension, too much desperation in her voice. She’s not acting like herself, and it’s unnerving. The pit in your stomach expands as she and Eren argue back and forth about why she won’t come along.

She’s not damsel, or anything of the sort. It’s laughable for her to pretend like she is, and it’s everything you can do to keep yourself quiet as Eren starts to get more frantic. His voice has risen to a shout as he continues to plead.

“Quit being stupid!” he says, “Just get down here! Stop screwing around!” He’s genuinely distressed, balling his fists up as he shakes his head, red-faced.

He looks like he’s about to freak out, and you empathize with him – though you’re acutely reminded that you’re the only one who does when Mikasa snaps to quiet him.

“Eren, don’t shout!”

Annie’s gaze burns down into all four of you, but there’s something in her eyes that you know is directed at you specifically. She’s angry, moments away from lashing out.

You can’t bring yourself to look at her. You can’t bring yourself to look. When you swallow nervously, it burns like sandpaper.

“I’m sure it’s fine, Mikasa,” she says, surprisingly calmly, “because for some reason, this place has been completely deserted for a while.”

Beside you, Armin pulls the flare gun from his pocket and hides it behind his back. Mikasa holds Eren back with nothing but a look, and you wish that you could disappear from behind them.

Now that there’s no way out, you don’t want to be here anymore.

“Man… That really hurts.” Even without looking, you can sense the apathy on Annie’s face, hear it in her voice. “At what point did you start looking at me that way, Armin?”

“And you, Y/N…” her eyes move to you, where you still stare at the ground. “You won’t even do that. After everything? I thought I could trust you…”

Your eyes and nose burn as you hold back tears. Even then, you can’t lift your gaze.

Armin responds, and you’re grateful that it means you don’t have to. “Annie… Why did you have Marco’s ODM gear?” he asks. A heavy silence settles, so he elaborates: “It had all the same scrapes and bumps. I could tell, because I’d helped him do maintenance on it.”

“Yes…” she says quietly. A familiar look of regret crosses her face, and if you’d looked up you might have even felt sympathy for her, “I found it and took it.”

“Then those two titans we captured alive…” Armin continues. “Was it you who killed them?”

“Who knows… maybe you should ask her,” she sneers. You’d half-expected her to come after you like that at, but it still hurts to hear it. You can’t take it anymore and let the tears roll down your face.

When she sees it won’t get a reaction from you, she quickly returns to dispassionately looking off to the side.

She makes a tsk sound. “If that’s what you suspected a month ago why didn’t you do anything then?”

Armin continues on. “Even now I can hardly believe it. I just… wanted to believe I had it wrong. That’s why I didn’t –” he chokes, and his hand holding the signal gun trembles wildly behind, “– but what about you? The fact that you didn’t kill me back then is why we’re in this situation now.”

The silence now is heavier than ever. A gust of wind blowing in the street above is the only noise in the area. Annie’s bangs float around her head as they’re swept in the breeze. God damn, her eyes are practically sparkling. Is it bad that even now, you still think that she’s beautiful?

“Yeah… I agree with all my heart” she admits, resentfully. “I never imagined you’d end up cornering me like this… Why didn’t I do anything then?”

Finally, you gain the courage to speak up for the first time in the confrontation, even though your voice only comes out as a squeak: “Annie, please… All we want to do is talk. If you–”

“–Shut the hell up,” she interrupts, “You shouldn’t even be here. I thought we made a plan for you, and then you didn’t listen. Why would you think that I’d want to see you again?”

Her words cut into you like a knife. You don’t know what to say, so you say nothing. All you do is stand there like a kicked puppy. You can feel Armin and Mikasa staring at you, though the implications about your relationship seem to fly right over Eren’s head.

Everything simultaneously speeds up and slows down. It was bad enough to hear what she’s saying, but right now when you need to help her? She’s not going to let you. Some part deep inside of you finally realizes that there’s no way out of this.

It’s going to go badly, so incredibly badly.

“Just leave,” Annie spits, “run.”

She looks dark and unfamiliar as her eyes bore into you from the top of the stairs.

When you don’t immediately start running, her nostrils flare. And although she doesn’t raise her voice or even change the tone of her voice, something about the way her ring finger won’t stay still is unnerving you.

“Run.” she repeats, more emphatically. The sun against her back casts her face in shadow, but you could read her expression in pitch darkness. She looks at you with more hate than you’ve ever known her to have for you.

Everyone else maybe, but you?

You burst into tears, backing away slowly at first. Whether it’s out of fear or intuition, you do what she says. It feels too frantic, too emotional for her. Your shoulder bumps into the wall as you stagger backward looking for the way out.

Eren starts shouting up at her again, but you aren’t paying attention to the exchange anymore. Chaos interrupts as soon as you leave, but blood is rushing in your ears too loudly for you to care.

All you know is that she wouldn’t tell you to run for no reason. You sprint through the opening of the tunnel, ignoring Armin when he tries to call out for you.

Adrenaline carries you far and fast as raised voices turn to shouts, then screams. You’ve booked it halfway down the old dimly lit service tunnel before you trip over your own feet. As you lay face-down with your hands scraped up, you have a moment of intense regret.

The flare gun fires in the stairwell, and you hear people screaming above ground.

Why the fuck did you run? You need to know what’s happening. More importantly, you left Eren, Mikasa, and Armin on their own when things were going bad. You can’t be responsible for your friends’ death.

Right as you slow down, an explosion sounds from behind you, and it threatens to collapse the tunnel. Dirt showers down from between the bricks above you, and you’re very aware of being underground, especially when orange and green crackles of lightning brighten the hallway.

Panic overrides instinct, and you scramble to your feet in an instant so you can help the other three. Luckily, they swing down into the tunnel in the nick of time.

Mikasa uses her momentum to throw the boys underhanded out of the path of crumbling stone from above as Annie transforms. The three of you cover your heads with your arms as a deafening roar rips through the hallway.

“Come on, we can’t stay here…” Armin tries to explain, though his voice is shaking.

You don’t listen. Instead, you stand up in the corridor. Right now, you’re not capable of thinking. All you want is to get back to Annie, but you immediately regret it when you see that your wish has ironically, come true.

A massive skinless hand reaches down the corridor before anyone can call out to warn you. Mikasa reacts instantly, taking off in the other direction while grabbing the others by the backs of their cloaks.

The first instinct that you have is to scream, but all noise dies in your throat. You genuinely feel like you’re about to die – all you can do is dive as far as you can away and curl into a ball waiting for it to be over. You aren’t sure how long you lie there with your eyes closed.

At first, you’re upset that the others left you behind, and resentful that you weren’t on the front lines. Later on, you don’t hold it against them since you had run first. You also realize later on that you never would have been allowed near her, anyway.

Eventually, the thunderous shaking begins to fade. The hand is gone, and footsteps above signal the departure of Annie’s Titan.

More rocks fall from the ceiling, and the archways collapses the entryway almost entirely. The position you’re in protects you from the worst of the falling rocks, but you can tell that you’re bruised.

You crawl through the rubble until you’re in front of the crumbling archway. Rocks settle into place as thunderous movements from above send pebbles showering down from the unstable pile. Dust falls off of you as you stagger to your feet.

Denial sets in first. This isn’t happening, you think. You have to get back up there even if it’s just to scream helplessly up at her Titan.

You resort to climbing the pile of rocks. It’s hopeless. You’re clawing at anything you can grab, and pushing on any rock in hopes it might give, but it seems like you genuinely won’t be able to go back the way you came.

No, fuck that. You’re determined to get out of here, so you hoist yourself up on top of one of the larger boulders.

It feels futile for a good while, until one of the rocks on top loosens enough for you to roll it out of place. It creates a narrow crack you can climb through. In a haze and without thinking, you take off your ODM gear so that you’re more likely to fit.

You scrabble at the rocks beneath it, and eventually, they give as well. It’s not a comfortable fit by any means, but you manage to squeeze in feet-first. You emerge on the other side of the rock pile scraped up with rips in your uniform, but you manage to wiggle past the threshold of the broken arch.

When you successfully slide through, you immediately get knocked around as you’re swept away in a rockslide. Predictable, really. It carries you backward until you fall smack into what’s left of the stairway.

It doesn’t feel real, though somehow you find the strength to lift yourself up. You climb over both steps and displacing chunks of what was once the ceiling. For a moment you lose your footing to land on all fours.

You’ve definitely scraped your knees, but you’re surprised to see that your hands are covered in blood. You slip on a whole puddle as you try to stand, and only then do you realize that it’s not your own.

Rivulets of crimson ooze between fallen rocks. As you’re climbing out of the rubble, you begin to process the full extent of your surroundings. You realize there are bodies – dozens, at least, crushed beneath the rubble you’re trying to get out of. You’re surrounded by them.

None of this feels real.

Debris and ash cover an area that had just been clean and familiar. Buildings along the streets have holes in them, or are crumbling altogether. This is a vision or something, right? Some kind of horrible nightmare that you’ll wake up from at any moment.

Giant, shaking footsteps still quake from nearby. Dazedly, you wander toward the sound, even though you have no clue what you’re trying to accomplish. All you know is that you can’t stand around and do nothing.

It only takes a few moments after wandering out in the open for someone to grab you by the arm.

“Here she is!” shouts the man who found you. He’s not a soldier, so you try to yank your arm back and run away. Before you can get far, you’re cornered by a group of soldiers who came running as backup.

Immediately, you’re swarmed. Someone pulls your arms together in front of you while a different officer secures handcuffs around your wrists. You try to struggle, but the lock clicks before you’re able to get free.

“Section Leader, this way. We found her!”

Honestly, you aren’t entirely sure what comes over you. Anger and frustration at the situation as well as the fact that you’re being neutralized so early on takes control of you, and as soon as you’re restrained you start spitting venom at everyone around you.

“No way! I did what you assholes told me to do – why are you doing this to me?”

One of the soldiers shushes you while the other fastens a chain to the cuffs. You pull your arms away only for them to be yanked back down roughly. It’s genuinely humiliating – they’re treating you like a dog on a leash.

Before you see them, you can hear Hanji tsk-ing as they approach from behind. “I don’t know why you’re screaming at me. You ran away down in the tunnels – that wasn’t in the plan. We have a lot of talking to do, young lady.”

Simmering rage surges up within you, and you struggle to shake the grip of the soldier holding onto your cuffs. “She told me to run…!” you exclaim.

Hanji just looks at you for a few seconds. “And you listened?”

That same pitying look from back when they interviewed you comes back onto their face. “Yeah… I think you’ll stay in custody until further notice.”

Anger once again rises at their flippancy in the matter. “You’re fucking kidding me!” you seethe, “Please tell me that you’re joking right now.”

They give you a bit of a condescending look from beneath a heavy pair of goggles. ”You’ll find that I am very much not joking.”

And you do indeed.

Somebody yanks you forward by the chain, but you throw your head over your shoulder to continue yelling, “This isn’t fair! What did you expect me to do? I never wanted to go along with this shitty plan in the first place.”

Nobody is paying attention to you anymore, unfortunately. Even the soldier holding your cuffs tunes you out after a certain point, try as you might to kick up a ruckus. You stomp and clink angrily, and rattle the chain in hopes that you can gnash your teeth at someone else.

Soon after, a new pair of soldiers arrives to escort you back to the Commander. After they chat with Hanji for a bit, you’re transferred into their custody. The section leader and their squad zip away in the opposite direction while you’re pulled down a different street.

The city is still shaking from the booming footsteps a few blocks over. It makes signs in front of shops rattle and unhinge from their fixtures, while shop displays and potted plants topple to the ground. Even the river heaves, splashing up onto the banks as it’s thrown back and forth.

The three soldiers pull you through the city despite your resistance. Everybody around you is in chaos, running and clutching their valuables and loved ones to their chest. Even with all the destruction happening right in front of your eyes, you struggle to process it as reality.

High-pitched Titan shrieking reverberates from across the city, and it’s so jarring that it makes you stop in your tracks. One of the soldiers pushes you, telling you to keep on walking.

You’re actually glad that you aren’t seeing the destruction. It’s the one thing that gives you any hope. Right now you feel completely empty, gutted. Numb to the world and to everything happening around you. If you saw what was happening, you wouldn’t ever be able to forget it.

Maybe if you keep your head down, it’ll all be a bad dream. You’ll wake up back in bed the night before training corps graduation. All of this will have been some anxiety-fueled dream, and Annie will tell you the real reason she’s been so shady as of late.

And if you wake up, you’ll do it right this time and you’ll choose the Wall Brigade. Losing Annie is what isn’t worth the risk. The Survey Corps was a mistake and this time you’ll avoid the whole debacle.

All of a sudden it becomes too much. Nausea overtakes you and you stagger off to the side, no longer able to hold yourself upright.

She did this. You crawled out of a pile of rocks and dead bodies that she put there. As you look down at the drying copper stains smeared on your palms, you shake. if you had been less foolish, maybe their blood wouldn’t literally be on your hands.

You fall to your knees, and it’s all you can do to stagger above a sewer grate before you throw up. The delusion that she’ll make the choice you want her to finally fades away.

At first, your escorts try to follow you, though they let you be alone when they notice you spewing your guts out.

It’s the first time you have to genuinely process what’s happening. You’re angry at her, both for being what she is and for not telling you.

Your head spins. Again you doubt reality and pray that you wake up. The hard slats of the drain against your knees cut into already-scraped skin. The pain is real. The shriveled husk where your heart used to be is real. The emptiness inside of you is real.

A second explosion colors the city in orange and green light. Electricity hums through the air as lightning flashes brightly from the other side of the plaza – everyone in the vicinity covers their ears as another Titan screams, this one deeper in pitch.

You knew that if talking had failed, the backup plan was for Eren slug it out Titan-style with her, yet you find yourself panicked at the idea of it actually happening. Worse still, you can’t even pinpoint exactly what it is that upsets you more – the fact that this is actually happening, or the fact that you had genuinely yourself convinced it might not.

It’s incomprehensible. You can literally see the destruction all around you, but still all you want is to get through to her. If only you could talk to her…

This time when you run, it’s very intentional. Most of the guards are still keeping their distance as you hurl except for the one tied to your handcuffs. You stagger to your feet, but before the soldier can notice what you’re doing you yank the chain from his hands.

You don’t try to get yourself out of the cuffs, so you just hold the chain in your hand and get the hell out of there. You know exactly where you are – you used to come here with your family as a child, and you know exactly where to run.

The fact that you’ve memorized the alleyways and side streets in Stohess is what allows you to escape the second time. Never in your life have you been proud to come from this place, but you must admit that it comes in handy right now.

You follow the noises of destruction and the clouds of dust. It’s not easy to miss, and seeing half-crumbled buildings tells you you’re headed in the right direction. More Titan screaming, and the sounds of deafening fighting lead you exactly where you need to go.

Air rushes down alleyways, a result of the punches landing in the square. The wind whips so intensely that dust storms spin on the ground to weakly scatter dust and rocks throughout the alleyway. You run with your jacket over your head to avoid getting hit. Every gust nearly knocks you to your knees, but you continue to stagger forward.

The endurance you have is only due to the adrenaline coursing through you. Between fleeing civilians and terrified soldiers who have no idea what to do, you manage to make it onto the main street. You toss aside your Survey Corps jacket so that you won’t be as easily identified.

Nobody even looks at you as you sprint down the road. A group of soldiers zip above your head on their gear, and you’re relieved whenever they don’t pay attention to you. The road begins to slope uphill into a bridge.

You freeze in place at the sight of aTitan being thrown into a building. At first you can’t figure out who is who through the thick cloud of smoke and dust – all you can see is movement until it settles.

Your heart leaps when you see that Annie seems to have the upper hand, but then immediately feel guilty. Deep down, you want her to win. You can’t handle the thought of anything bad happening to her even still, and you feel horrible about it.

She has Eren slammed into a building. He’s pinned so that the only way he can fight back is by biting her leg, even though it’s obviously not getting anywhere. Blow after blow lands as she lets out an inhuman shriek. You hide behind the stone railing, as if that made a difference.

When you see her now, you can’t fathom that there was ever a time you didn’t recognize her Titan. It looks exactly like her, from the shape of her jaw to the blue of her eyes.

The way her hair brushes the tops of her shoulders…She’s hundreds of meters from you still, but the gargantuan proportions give you enough view to see her clearly. The way her cheeks curve, the squareness of her chin, that distinctive nose.

Standing there, you can’t justify how there was ever a time you didn’t look up at that Titan and recognize her. There had to be some kind of barrier in your brain that wouldn’t let you overlook something that seems so obvious in retrospect. That barrier had apparently blocked you from seeing a lot.

Even her body is the same. Tiny mannerisms that are intimately familiar. How could you not have immediately recognized how her arms are shaped? How did you not notice that the way that her leg extends, the way that her waist twists, is just the same as Annie?

Were you just… stupid?

Before long, she’s pummeled Eren’s head into a bloody pulp. She manages to shake him off of her eventually then backs away. You recognize her body language – she’s scared. Her shoulders are drawn together tightly, and the lack of skin only emphasizes the tension in her muscles.

The Titan looks around for a minute before she takes off running in the other direction. You’re close enough that the proximity of her footsteps knock you off your feet. You scrape yourself up pretty badly as you struggle to get back up again.

Eren isn’t moving, but he’s been through worse. You don’t try to justify it beyond that. Later you chalk it up to how rattled you were with betrayal, but a part of you wonders if you secretly wanted him to lose.

You hate that it got to this point. You hate that this had to end with a fight neither of them wanted to have.

If you hadn’t been so tongue-tied earlier than maybe none of this would be happening. You might have been able to get her to come peacefully, willingly, if you had talked to her.

Maybe it wasn’t too late, you wonder.

If you can get to her maybe she would still listen. You take off down the road in the same direction she did.

A dead soldier lies slumped against the wall, with the blades of his ODM gear still tightly gripped in his hands. It looks like he was thrown against the building, or perhaps kicked. You try to stop yourself from picturing the details of how. It’s obvious what happened with two Titans rampaging about, but while it’s still happening, you need to be able to press on.

You push the noise away and focus on angling the fallen soldier’s blade between the chain of your handcuffs. With your foot anchoring the blade in place, you pull your wrists towards you with all of your strength. It successfully snaps one of the links in the handcuffs and allows your hands to separate.

The force knocks you on your elbows. Breaking the chain didn’t get the cuffs off from around your wrists, but at least you can move your arms again.

Deeper screams from Eren’s Titan resound through the alleyways. Suddenly, you panic about not being able to see what’s happening. He sounds louder, more crazed.

To your horror, the sounds of fighting start back up again. Screams that you now recognize as Annie’s fill the air amidst Eren’s roars. You scramble back up to your feet and run in the other direction, desperate to get there before it’s too late.

Before you get to a bridge overlooking the courtyard where the fight is taking place, you see a group of Military Police running on foot. Instinctual terror kicks in at the sight of cops, and you book it down the nearest alleyway and flatten your back against the wall.

The unit passes quickly, but those forty-five seconds are enough for something significant to happen. You feel it before you see it – only one set of Titan footsteps rattle the ground. When you finally reach the bridge you’re horrified to see Annie(‘s Titan), beaten and missing a leg.

She’s climbing the wall. Everyone around you shouts in horror, with some people running in the other direction. You’re too afraid to move from where you stand so you sit there and watch in disbelief. There’s a moment (albeit a brief one) where you genuinely think she might make it over.

But as soon as you see smoke from a set of ODM gear and the glint of blades, you know it’s not going to work. You consider closing your eyes, but it feels like you’re frozen. The next minute or so – it can’t have been more – will end up replaying in your mind for years afterwards.

It feels like slow motion when she falls, with her severed fingers still rooted in a stone halfway up the wall.

At the time it feels like an eternity is passing, but later you realize it actually happened so much more quickly than you could comprehend. Events that took place in just an hour and half end up haunting you for the rest of your life.

Her landing leaves a crater in the rock below. Plumes of steam emanate from both of the Titans as they roar, with Eren jumping on her before she could have the chance to run away.

It was over as soon as Annie hit the ground.

Eren lets out a scream so deafening that you have to cover your ears. He makes several quick movements as he lunges at the already-broken form of the Female Titan. One arm flies off in one direction, then a massive leg flies in the other as they’re ripped off.

The second you see that in his rage, he’s going after her head. Even if it’s not her actual body, you can’t bear to watch. You physically cover your face to block your view. Tears of hysteria streak down your face – you know what’s going to happen, and you don’t want to see it.

An impossibly bright light suddenly shines from the middle of the square. The roars from Eren’s Titan become less enraged and more confused.

You peek between your fingers to see that the light is appearing from Annie. Eren’s Titan thrashes on top of her. He tries to pull away to no avail, but fails when his flesh practically melts into Annie’s.

Like you’d experienced many times over the last few days, you can practically hear her voice in your head as a memory replays.

“My biggest dream is to give up,” she’d said.

She had seemed so defeated when she had said that… Out of everything she’s ever alluded to and implied, this is the one thing that genuinely makes sense to you. This memory sticks out to you more than others do over the next few days.

The clear angle you have of her crying in the top of her destroyed Titan only lasts for a moment before her face is enveloped. An eerie blue aura surrounds her, illuminating her silhouette and spreading outward until all of a sudden, the entire square is lit up. There’s another flash of light, and then silence.

That silence is so much more painful than the screams. It had been better with all the fighting and destruction, just because she was here.

Eren’s Titan slumps as both of the behemoths dissolve and steam. Where Annie’s Titan used to be is a massive hunk of crystal. The light returns to normal, and just as quickly as all of this began it comes to a devastatingly anticlimactic ending.

There’s just shock in the aftermath. A long silence settles over the city that paralyzes you. Everyone else begins to move before you do.

Annie is motionless inside the rock, with her eyes closed. Somehow you know without confirmation that there’s nothing to be done. You know her well enough to know that she’s not coming out of there.

Just like that, she’s gone.

Even if she isn’t dead, she’s not going to come out of there, not after everything that just happened. All you can do is stare, shell-shocked and alone.

Soldiers on either side of you start murmuring, whispering amongst themselves. For them, the confusion wears off after a minute. As everyone around you begins to move and deal with reality, your world slows down. How is everyone doing their jobs like nothing has happened? How is it that the world continues on when the person you care about most was just taken away?

But as you sit there and stare through the distorted crystal, you realize that you don’t even know who exactly you’re mourning. Right now you can’t say confidently that you even knew her at all. Is it the real Annie that you’re afraid of being without?

Or is it the fact that you’re only realizing at this moment that you never came close to knowing her at all?

The hysteria hits quickly. Your vision blurs as tears well up in your eyes and you grip the concrete railing, so tightly that it hurts your hands.

At some point, you regain control of your body, and find yourself rushing down the nearest staircase. It might be futile at this point, but you can’t resist the urge to go to her. Nobody stops you, surprisingly, as you hurtle across the destroyed square.

The air nearby is still thick with steam. As you grow closer to the crystal, the surface fogs ever-so-slightly. You fall to your knees before it, and in the process you scrape every inch of your knees that hadn’t already been scraped.

You ignore the pain, and press your forehead and the palm of your hand against the clear rock.

For the longest time you thought you were special. She opened up to you, she came to you for comfort in a way that she didn’t trust anyone else… Was that a lie? Had she been pretending all along, stringing you along for her own cruel amusement?

Or worse, had she actually cared for you in some sick and twisted way? Is your teenage fling enough to justify even entertaining the idea of forgiving her – but then again you could only do that if you could talk it through with her, and you can’t. Do you even want to forgive her?

Logically, no. But emotionally… well, you know what? Fuck your emotions – you don’t trust them anymore. If this whole experience has taught you anything, then the lesson has nothing to do with war, or with the Titans.

All you’ve learned is what it feels like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on. And yet, if you could go back in time with the knowledge you have now, you would still make a lot of the same choices.

It’s Annie who you wish had chosen differently.

The crystal is still warm. She’s alive, right? You don’t see the movement of her breathing anymore. Can she still hear you? She doesn’t need to be able to respond, you reason. Please, you think, please don’t leave me alone.

This must be the bargaining stage. It’s pathetic, and you resent the feelings that it brings up. She’s a traitor, isn’t she? A murderer, a monster. She used you.

You lied for her, and because of that she was able to kill hundreds of people. Indirectly, she’s responsible for thousands more deaths. She’s responsible for killing your grandparents, for destroying your home.

But no, that’s not the person that you knew. That can’t be the same person who you fell in love with. You go completely numb and wonder when your jailors are going to catch up with you and place you back under arrest. With their track record, it surely couldn’t be long.

As if on cue, you hear a familiar voice call out from the distance to chastise you.

“Wow!” it says “You really must be trying to raise my blood pressure! As if everything else happening today wasn’t enough.”

Hanji stands with their hands on their hips, a disapproving look plastered on their face. Soldiers march past them on either side and once again you feel the cold slap of a second pair of handcuffs pressing into your wrists.

“Augh, come on,” you protest, “I’ve already been cuffed, can’t you just re-connect the last one?”

“Sorry... you don’t get to make requests when you broke out of custody. You know that technically makes you a fugitive, right?”

You angrily glare up at Hanji as their team members restrain you further.

One of them wraps a chain around your wrists, looping it several times over and in between your arms, excessively so. You shoot them an angry look too, just for good measure.

“Stop running away and we’ll stop treating you like a flight risk,” Hanji groans. “You’re starting to become a real thorn in my side. Maybe I should pawn you off to another officer so you wouldn’t be my problem anymore.”

You pout your lip. “Do you really mean that, Section Leader? Even if I promise to tell you all of my secrets?”

They aren’t amused. All they do is narrow their eyes at you, and it comes across a bit hostile. “I don’t know how to deal with this attitude you’re developing. Cooperate if you want to. We’re going to find out as much as we can with or without your help.”

“Whatever,” you say. After a few seconds, you cross your arms and look down. “I was just trying to say that I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

Hanji just looks down at you in response with their arms crossed. They really are done indulging your bullshit, aren’t they?

Embarrassed, you look off to the side to avoid eye contact. “And I’m done being in denial, or whatever. Can I just… have a moment alone with her?”

“Not a chance,” they reply, immediately. They don’t even take time to consider it, which pisses you off.

“I will, however, let you watch if you stay in this exact spot. Mobilt, give me a piece of chalk–” they only pause for as long as it takes the man beside her to dig in his jacket pocket. He produces the piece of chalk, which Hanji promptly plucks from his fingers.

It’s a whole theatrical thing. They bend down and use the chalk to draw a line across the pavement front of you, much more dramatically than is necessary.

“You’re not allowed to move past this spot, and you’ll have a guard with you until you’re locked in a cell,” they tell you.

Someone calls out for them from a distance and they groan. Their eyes flutter closed in annoyance as they pinch the bridge of their nose.

“Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do: I have to leave, so I want my best people watching you. They are busy at the moment,” they gesture to the group of soldiers lining up two wooden carts side-by-side. Some adjust the wagons themselves while others begin to unroll a massive tarp.

Hanji continues on. “So you’re going to wait here until they’ve finished, and then you’ll be taken in for processing. I’ll come when I can. Right now, I have to deal with this fucking hole in the Wall…”

Later, you see them at the top, looking down at the covered section beneath them. You don’t think much of it, consumed as you are with your own shit. Right now, however, you stay staring at the crystal. You want to take as long as you can to look at her while you still can, and you’re grateful you’re allowed to stay.

You’re stuck with the same guard before, who has since gone from apathetic to actively annoyed with you. You try to ignore the looks you get from passerbys as you sit there behind your stupid little chalk line, twiddling your thumbs.

A dozen soldiers heave the massive crystal onto the wagon but stagger halfway. The sound of hardening scraping against the stone floor fills the square until finally, after some straining, the crystal makes it off the ground. The wagons immediately groan in protest but everything stays in place.

Your heart sinks when they stretch the tarp over Annie’s encased body. It horrifies you, to be honest. The whole time you watch you’re filled with an increasing amount of dread. But there’s something deep inside of you that can’t look away, not when you’re so worried it might be the last time you see her.

The dust and residue floating around makes blinking dry and painful, so instead you subject yourself to the equally uncomfortable experience of just not blinking. Your eyeballs burn and tears spill down your cheeks to try and make up for the lack of moisture. Through the blurry haze you watch them buckle the rock down with straps.

The only part of her body that isn’t covered at this angle is the tops of her feet where the tarp doesn’t fully cover her. It’s hardly anything, just a splash of dark brown in the kaleidoscope of colors the afternoon sun casts into the crystal. It’s just the tips of her boots, but it's all you can see.

The carts rumble away once it’s secure. It doesn’t take long for the soldiers to veer down a road out of your view, and suddenly, your time is up. All you can do is stare at the tips of your own boots (the same model), haunted.

You’re yanked to your feet as the soldiers doing the heavy lifting are finished. They walk down a different street and you’re carted behind them. Somebody steps on the back of your shoe when you slow down to try and take another glance you know you can’t take.

They lead you through the city the long way, and it feels like a punishment. You feel like you’re being forced to do a walk of shame for the sheer humiliation of it, and it’s working. It’s really getting to you.

God, you really loved her… Does that make you a traitor, too? You question your own motives once again, whether you subconsciously ignored signs that would have been obvious to anyone else. On some level you knew that the feelings you had for her were dangerously strong.

Something sinks inside of you as old feelings bubble up. You feel stupid and small, just like you did when you were child. It terrifies you to think of the scale on which people were hurt, or about the trail of dead bodies lying in wake of this destruction. More than anything you feel deep guilt.

There’s a collapsed building blocking the main road, so the guards lead you down a new street. You’re so distracted by your thoughts that it takes you a few moments to recognize your surroundings, but your blood runs ice cold when you do.

The Titan battle had decimated the entire area. Most of the pantheon was in ruins, with blood pooling in the cracks of the broken marble floor. Gilded chunks of walls and window panes have been thrown clear across the once-manicured lawn. Shattered glass and chunks of stone litter the clearing.

All at once, you recognize it. The crumbling remains of the atrium you’re looking at had once belonged to the Church of the Walls.

If you hadn’t known what it had looked like before it was destroyed, you probably wouldn’t have recognized it. The golden roof looks brown beneath the thick layer of dust that’s settled over the scene. Ornately carved architecture lies split in half.

It’s all intimately familiar to you in a way that you’re not proud of. After you take a moment to take in the destruction of this place, you’re hit hard with the butt of a rifle while your escorts try to get you back in line.

At this point, you’ve had an extremely shitty day. They were stupid enough to cuff your hands in front of your body for a second time, and the chains around your wrists serve as a bludgeon to reinforce the blow.

You swing your hands up hard to punch the soldier in the nose. It definitely breaks his nose, judging by the blood that spills between your fingers. To make sure that he stays down for good measure, you kick the motherfucker in the stomach.

In the confusion you dash off down an alley, running away out of custody for at least the third time that day. The stunt earns you another earful from Hanji and another day in the clink, but you have to know.

You have to see for yourself.

A soldier with a clipboard stands in a field of dead bodies loosely covered with white sheets. In your state, you don’t care for niceties and just snatch the board from his hands. Your eyes scan a list of names of the confirmed dead frantically, only to realize how few identifications they’d been able to make. Shoving the list back into the poor soldier’s hand, you shove right past any worried inquiries he may have had.

Later, the full effect of the horror hits you. You go through the rows of dead bodies, pulling back the sheets just enough to see faces before you re-cover them, and trying to ignore the pulling in your gut. Some of the bodies are missing entire limbs, staining the white cloth a heavy crimson. Was the dread because you were afraid you would see a familiar face, or that you wouldn’t?

Two rows, three rows, and nothing. Nobody is stopping you from looking, but you are getting weird looks from the nearby MPs. You’re starting to get frantic.

By the time you’ve moved to the fourth row of bodies, your hands are shaking. Perhaps appropriately so. When you lift the sheet on the third body in the row, shock makes you drop the sheet before you even get the chance to see the face underneath. You don’t need to, not when you can see that the woman’s hair is identical to that on your own head.

You hadn’t seen your mother for years, but you remember her hair. It’s shorter than yours now with intermittent greys, but it looks exactly like you remembered it. She has the same hairstyle even, all these years later. Again you lift the sheet.

This time, you actually look. It’s almost surreal. You hadn’t quite realized how much you’ve grown to look like her these days until you’re staring at your own face beneath that sheet, differentiated only by age, death, and a trickle of blood dripping from her mouth.

Her ribs are concave, flattened so completely that it takes you a moment to realize that there’s an extra limb in the mix.

You throw back the sheet to see better. Wrapped around your mothers’ elbow is the disembodied right arm of a man. That was the wrist your father wore his watch, yes? You pull down the sleeve of the dark suit jacket to find what you’d been looking for.

The glass is shattered and the clasp has broken, but the sleeve contained enough of the watch together in one piece that you can tell what it once was. What remains of the clock face is still intact. Sure enough, when you turn it over, you see that two initials (his own and your mother’s) as well as a family crest are engraved on the polished metal backing.

At the bottom, there used to be three more sets of initials for each of their children. You realize with disgust that all three have been covered. Crudely scratched out, really, but the intention of the action hits you directly in the soul.

His feelings had been clear to you for a long time, but this was another level of awful.

You stand there frozen in place, stunned, for long enough that the group of soldiers arresting you finds you again. At that point, they’re beyond done with your antics. You don’t resist when you’re tackled into the grass.

Someone undoes your handcuffs (both sets, luckily) only to redo them behind your back this time, so tightly that it cuts into your wrists. It seems they’ve learned a lesson now. A rope goes around your torso, and you nearly snarl at the overkill.

“I’m not an animal.”

“Shut the hell up and stay where you are,” says a very tall soldier, with much broader shoulders than the last guy. The one that you punched stands a few feet back, glowering at you with an ice pack pressed against your nose.

What you want to do is give them a piece of your mind, remind them that you’d gone willingly every time. But it doesn’t come out. Instead, as soon as your mouth opens you laugh. You look back down at what’s left of the only living relatives you had and laugh.

You laugh hysterically, your voice shaking. Honestly, you don’t know how to feel. In a way you feel free now that your parents are gone, but every aspect of how it came about was horrifying. Even as you hated them their death left your gut twisting.

“Wait a minute, hold on,” you manage to get out through bursts of giggle-crying, “I can identify them… I need to tell someone who they are.”

The soldier guarding you rolls his eyes.

“Make it quick,” he tells you gruffly, but he does shove you back over to the disgruntled man with the clipboard.

He’s still a bit annoyed with you from earlier, but he looks at you like you have two heads now that you come up laughing like a crazy person.

“Georg and Claudia Last/Name,” you announce, although much to your displeasure your voice cracks before you can follow up with: “Add them to your list.”

The soldier jots down the names, then flips the page on the clipboard to cross something out. “Alright, thanks for the information. If you know them, can you direct me towards their next of kin?”

You snort on your laughter, and if your hands could be near your face you might have buried it in them with shame.

“There’s no one. There’s nobody left,” to your great surprise, you begin to choke on tears. “I think their money would be better off with someone who actually needs it.”

He checks a box, but the soldier with the clipboard just continues to look down at you judgmentally. “Yeah, it doesn’t really work like that. I just need to know who needs to get the news if there are kids or other surviving family members.”

“Whatever,” you mumble, “All of their kids died a long time ago.” Anything you stood to inherit, you didn’t want anyway.

As you’re led away, you stare at the spot in the grass where the broken wristwatch lay shattered. The crossed-out engravings on the back are visible amongst the shattered glass and bent metal.

Somebody from behind you yanks on your handcuffs. You cynically wish that you could run away again. In your current situation, you’ve only gotten into more trouble running. Where would you even go now? What exactly could you look forward to?

Well, for the first time in your life you’re not afraid of your parents anymore. That certainly counts for something.

Later, you smugly chuckle to yourself when you realize that even if your father crossed out your initials on that stupid wristwatch, you’re still the last one standing.

To this day, you don’t know why it was you who lived. You didn’t earn it, or make any ‘better’ choices.

You spend the next week in a dingy jail cell. Most of the time you’re completely alone, save a guard who brings you meals, and when you’re being further interrogated. You quickly recognize that you have no other option than to endure it all, and the depression sets in quickly.

It feels good to let yourself wallow, at first. Everything hurts so badly that you feel like you might cease to exist. You wish that you could be absorbed into the stone floor beneath you, to be forgotten but finally free from the strife that plagued you at every turn.

The punches never stop coming. At the moment you realize that this is just yet another shitty thing that’s happened to you, you reach the stage of acceptance.

Annie was gone. You were still here, and you and everybody else she left behind were left to deal with the aftermath.

Cooperating completely and totally was the only option you had if you wanted to seem at all trustworthy. You decide to tell Hanji everything you know, and in interviews you confess to everything you can recall.

It’s humiliating and degrading and even invasive at times, but you comply so you’ll regain their trust. You’re truthful in the hopes that you’ll be allowed to see her again, someday. Even if she is under guard, frozen in place, and unable to communicate.

If you can prove to the military that you’re worthy of trust, then you can help discover where she came from, or why she did the things she did. Maybe that way, one day if you ever do find a way to get her out then you’ll be the one who receives her.

Someday you want to understand how Annie could have looked you in the eye and lied to you so convincingly. You need to know how she could let you get so close to her when she was planning to kill you the whole time. Hopefully, she would be able to explain herself someday.

If only you could understand.

massive trigger warning for CSA in the following scene.

reader's backstory involves descriptions of child abuse in several forms - most of what's discussed is psychological or neglectful, but it is also HEAVILY implied that one of the younger brothers was sexually abused.

please skip a few paragraphs if you need to, or at the very least, be warned.

A week after what happened at Stohess, you’re still under careful supervision. And although you’re no longer handcuffed or in jail, there’s constantly somebody nearby watching you. You can’t even take a shower without somebody standing right outside the door.

Nearly everyone else treats you either like a scarlet-letter pariah or an airhead who was too dim-witted to realize Annie’s ‘master plan.’ You haven’t seen any of the people in your graduating class since the day of the fight, and you aren’t particularly looking forward to seeing them again if they’re judging you the way you’re judging yourself.

The whole time you’re being questioned, you comply. You tell them everything you knew, which was albeit not very much. Hanji was the only person in charge of your captivity who even bothers to speak to you, and therefore they are the only person you give vital information to.

During your interviews, you don’t include the details that are special to you – instead, you treasure them privately. All you say is “Yes, she did seem guilty when the topic came up.” You don’t correct them when they assume she was plotting every moment of every day. You leave out the parts where she cried inconsolably at the thought of all the death, all the destruction, and you leave out her apologies. They wouldn’t care anyway.

There’s no point in mentioning that she wasn’t all bad. No point in saying that she was gentle with you, and shy when it came to her feelings. It would just make you look like you were taking her side if you talked about her – and maybe you were to a certain extent.

“My biggest dream is to give up,” you remember her saying once. “I don’t care about any of this anymore. I’m so tired… I want to go home.” She clearly had regrets about what she’d done if she said that. You know her well enough to know when she’s bullshitting, and those emotions were genuine.

After what she did, the assumption that she’s a heartless monster is pretty easy to come by, but defending her to the military will only get you in trouble. Every night you cry yourself to sleep as you try to relive the happy memories on a loop.

It was bad enough that Annie and her crystal are doomed to stay in Stohess. You had to keep coming back to this horrible place when it’s all you want to leave behind. It’s so inconvenient – how are you supposed to visit her when you’re constantly bouncing around from one place to another with your Scout assignments?

The reality of the situation is that you won’t be able to. Keeping her where she is forces you to be under supervision at all times, forces you to stay under the watchful eye of the military. It solved the problem of imprisonment and containment in one fell swoop.

The first time you see her, about a week and a half has passed since what happened in the city. Every time you want to go down to visit her, you have to ask. There was a whole process including forms, wait time, and a bureaucratic review pending approval before you’re allowed to even think about going.

Even then, you’re not allowed to be alone with her at first. Much to your chagrin, a soldier stands at the entrance to the cavern staring you down the entire time you’re there. Genuinely, it’s humiliating. It highlights how little control you have over everything.

You walk up to the crystal awkwardly and acutely aware of being watched. At first, you’re too nervous and self-aware to do anything but pick at already-shredded cuticles. This is all you wanted for days, but now that you’re actually here you’re not quite sure what to do.

At first, you can’t bring yourself to even look at her. You have to take a moment to muster your courage before you’re able to actually do it. So much buildup and tension just for the same face you already know so well. It breaks your heart.

She looks exactly the same. Of course she does, she always will, for as long as she’s in there.

There’s so much you want to say to her. You have so much hurt inside of you that it overflows – where do you start? Even if you do ask all of your questions, will you be able to convey everything you feel? Will talking to her even make you feel better now that she can’t answer the hundreds of questions that you’re inevitably going to ask?

Blinking back tears, you swallow nervously to clear your throat. You don’t know where your stream of consciousness will take you, but starting somewhere is better than nowhere.

You keep your voice low so that the soldier accompanying you won’t be able to make out what you’re saying. Your lips are just inches away from the surface, as close as her prison will allow you to get.

“I want to be mad at you. Mostly, for lying to me. How could you do that to me, when I cared about you so much?”

You glare at the crystal, and at Annie’s unchanged expression deep within it.

“I wish that I could just be angry… I have so many emotions, really. I’m sad, and I miss you, and I feel betrayed. I’m not sure I have that right, since there are things I wasn’t honest about either. Like my parents. I was ashamed of them, and I didn’t even tell you they existed until you asked. And even then I still lied about them.”

“The real reason that I wanted to get away from them, and that I never went back… It didn’t have anything to do with what they did to me. Don’t get me wrong, they treated me horribly too, but… that wasn’t the final straw. On the surface they seem like perfectly nice people. Maybe that’s why I’m so resentful, because they really aren’t even assholes.”

It’s no surprise that her expression remains unchanged. So why do you keep looking at her, talking like you expect a response?

“I used to think they were evil, but now I think it’s more complicated than that. It’s not evil to be misguided. You were misguided, right? You had to be, or maybe I need you to be. That’s why you never wanted me to comfort you, why you didn’t think you deserved it, isn’t it? I can’t wrap my head around any of this. You did so many horrible things but you’re still not half as bad of a person as my parents were, and they were fucking celebrated in their community.”

“Shit, I’m still doing it. Being vague and skirting around the point. I’m sorry.” You look down at your shoes. “It’s only fair that now I know your secrets, that you should get to learn mine. I wish that you had gotten the chance to tell me in your own time. I really want to believe that you would have. Or would you have just kept pushing me away? Did you expect to just go back to wherever your home is and leave me here? Did you think I would be okay with that?”

You get so worked up that you find yourself hyperventilating, voice rising and your face getting hot. It’s too much, you have to physically turn away from the crystal while you take a moment for yourself, to cool down. Fighting tears and breathing hard, you try to shake away the anger.

You have the rest of your fucking life to be angry at her. The military gave you twenty minutes with Annie and the crystal, and you came here with a goal in mind.

Taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, you turn back around and continue on. You’re just going to say it. Get it over with so that you never have to talk about it again.

“My parents were members of the Church of the Walls. High-ranking ones, with generations of family members in the ranks. They used to take me with them to services and gatherings, for years. That’s why I hate crowds, and jewelry, and wearing dresses. It’s why I left Stohess behind so easily. It’s why my grandparents took us away. It’s why I ran away again after my brothers died. It defined every aspect of my life.”

“My parents only cared about being good Wallists. That, and making sure we were, too. The Church was the reason why my parents had three children – I was both the favorite for being the only daughter and the screwup for not being the third son. Every time anything went wrong, it was my fault.”

“We were expected to wear certain clothes, act a certain way. Go to services two or three times a week and memorize all the prayers. My brothers were too young to remember anything, I think. That’s my hope at least.”

“Apparently my grandparents didn’t even know about the Church. They didn’t know my parents were religious and they sure as hell didn’t know about the way they treated us. I don’t know why I never said anything before. Now that I’m older I can see all the red flags everywhere else. But you understand, don’t you? Isn’t that why you got caught up in… everything you did?” you gesture vaguely to the crystal. “You can’t see the red flags if it’s all you’ve ever known.”

Subconsciously, your brain conjures the image of your mother’s body beneath the sheet, her arm still linked with that of your dismembered father. It’s so visceral that it turns your stomach, but once again you find yourself laughing uncontrollably.

“I declined their inheritance so I don’t really know what’s happening with that. Kind of fucked up, but I’m a little relieved that I don’t have to keep living in a world where they’re still there. Even more fucked up? I’m a lot more upset that you’re still in this stupid chunk of rock than I am that you’re the one who killed them.”

You lower your voice so that the guard won’t hear, but you hold your face right next to the crystal. “I’ve thought about what I was going to say to you about this more than anything else. I don’t think you’re in the right for anything you did that day in Stohess, with one exception. When it comes to crushing the Church and the Wallists, more than anything all I have to say… is thank you.”

“Isn’t that so fucked up? You killed my parents and I’m on your side. If that doesn’t prove to you that I’m just as messed up in the head as you are then I don’t know what will. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t believe you did all of this… but every time I think of everyone in that Church dying so horribly I just–”

Your voice cracks, and you laugh deliriously. “I’m so glad they died screaming. The terror they felt in those final moments when they realized the Walls couldn’t protect them is worth more to me than I know how to put into words. I might not understand your motives, but for this one act of destruction… somebody forgives you. Thank you, and I forgive you.”

“I’m not as passive and naive as you always seemed to think. You were never delicate or waifish. I just didn’t realize you had so much power. I wish that you chose to use it for a better purpose… I wish that you felt like you could’ve come to me. What’s so important to you that you kept choosing to be a killer?”

“Shit,” you cut yourself off when you realize that even still, you’re still veering off topic. You were going to tell her the whole truth. That’s what you came here to do, not chastise her further. Surely she knows she’s in the wrong.

Just say it.

The laughter bubbles up again, inappropriately. This time it’s because you’re uncomfortable, and enraged. “I never told you why my grandparents took us away. I actually didn’t really get it until after the Wall fell once my parents started talking about destiny and the Will of Walls and all this bullshit.”

You swallow hard as you continue on. “Right after my youngest brother Joseph was born, my father got some kind of promotion within the ranks. After that, we started having to go to services at night, too. Honestly, they were really scary… I didn’t like to go inside the chapel. We could usually stay outside, me and my brothers. But one day, they made me hold the baby while they took Samuel back with them.”

“Things got bad after that. Samuel stopped eating, and he didn’t want to play with us anymore. My parents tried to pretend like nothing was happening. They would keep us apart, even during the day. My grandparents came to visit for the holidays that year and my parents kept Samuel from them, too. They knew something was wrong, I could tell… So I ended up telling them everything. We left that night, without anything. No clothes or toys. Just us kids.”

“So whenever Joseph and I came back to Stohess three years later after Sam died… the two of us were heartbroken. Without our brother we didn’t feel complete anymore, so it was weird when my parents didn’t feel the same way. They weren’t even upset he was gone. I thought I was going crazy at first but they almost seemed happy, relieved.”

“And then one day, I overheard a conversation after one of the nighttime services. It was the bishops who were interested in Samuel all those years ago. They said that the Walls had taken care of the problem for them, and it all just kind of clicked after that. Why everybody acted so weirdly about everything, and why nobody cared that he was dead. How the fuck are you supposed to live with something like that? In the same house as the people who allowed it to happen, who enabled it? How are you ever supposed to be in the same room as them again?”

Tears burn in your eyes, and your fingernails dig deep into the palms of your hands hard enough to draw blood.

“I didn’t even see the religion for what it really was until after my grandparents died. I was back living with my parents and suddenly I didn’t have a choice anymore. Maybe it was just because I was older but it was like my eyes were opened. It’s a fucking cult. The Church, and everybody who was blindly loyal to them, pushes you to find grace in suffering. Like that excuses the fact that they’re the ones making you miserable in the first place.”

“Joseph got sick not too long after that. I did tell you the truth about that. It was just a fever that burned too hot. His death didn’t even feel real until after the funeral. Everything became too much after that, when I realized I was alone. I threatened to my father that I’d run away and join the military once, and he told me that he wouldn’t follow me if I did. That I was a disappointment and he never wanted to see me again.”

“Hah, so that was it! A shining beacon of opportunity to get away and probably the only one I’d ever get. My father was true to his word and didn’t follow me, but my mom wanted me to come home. I never responded to any of her letters because I didn’t give a fuck about so-and-so from who-cares district’s son who could be a good fit for me.”

“Did you know that the Church encourages girls to be married off when they’re only fifteen? If I hadn’t joined the military, I’d be sold off by now. My parents made that much clear… Giving them grandchildren for the congregation was the only thing they saw me as good for. I don’t regret leaving. If I could go back in time the only thing I would do differently is to run away before my brother died. Maybe he would still be here if I’d taken him away from those people, and that place. ”

“I wish that I could have heard what you would say in response to all of this. Maybe if I had told you my secrets you would have trusted me. I keep thinking about what I would have done if you told me about all of yours… no matter how horrible they were. I don’t know. Fucking shit, I would have helped you run away if it meant you could go home. You could have taken me with you.”

Suddenly, it all becomes too much. It doesn’t have anything to do with the Church or your dead family – it has to do with the fact that despite all that loss, you never felt alone until now. All of a sudden, you have absolutely no one.

The military doesn’t trust you, and nobody else in your graduating class can do anything to help you while you’re in prison. The only person who cared about you enough to help you or who would have tried to visit you is frozen in stasis before you.

If her plan was to kill the people inside of the walls, then why the hell did she care about you so much? The way she acted around you, the way she opened up to you and cared about your safety, directly contradicts motivations of genocide.

Bitter tears roll down your cheeks as you focus on breathing. It takes you a minute to compose yourself once again. More than anything, you wish that you could see her reaction to everything you’re saying. It’s not fair that she gets to seal herself away and leave the aftermath for everyone else to deal with.

You need her to be alive.

Please, you beg silently, please be alive.

“I wish you’d say something. I feel like I’m talking to myself…” your voice cracks, and you take another minute to gather yourself before you continue. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. This is why I never talk about my family or my life before. It’s why I didn’t understand how you missed your dad.”

Honestly, you still don’t. She deserved better than someone who let her undertake such a horrible task, much less someone who pushed her toward it.

You lower your voice again, just in case the guard is listening in. “Our fathers aren’t the same. Mine never wrote to me because he didn’t want to, but I understand now why you miss yours. I’m sorry that you’ve been away from him for so long… even if I don’t know what it’s like to have a dad, you do. I wish I could have been there for you instead of consumed with my own issues. I wish that you would’ve let me be there for you...”

Monologuing to a crystal was humiliating enough. All at once you’re hit with the fear that she can’t actually hear you in there. You’re wasting your breath, and she got the last laugh weeks ago.

You can’t reconcile the idea of talking to gravestone so hard, that you put the idea out of your mind entirely. That couldn’t be an option, not when you needed her to hear what you’re saying.

“They said there’s a chance that you can’t even hear me now,” you whisper, and the idea is so overwhelmingly awful that you rest your forehead against the crystal. The cool surface helps, and you catch your breath. “But I think you can.”

“And that’s the real horror about all of this, right? That you’re going to stay in there instead of dealing with everything that’s happened. I would say ‘typical’ except this time it just isn’t funny. You’re seriously in there, just fucking sitting there. Is it really easier for you to stop existing like this, rather than face up to what you’ve done?”

“Part of me won’t ever forgive you. I wish that I was convinced everything you did was in my best interest, but I’m not. How could you be doing what you were doing and then start a relationship with me? Why didn’t you just push me away like you did everyone else?”

“I keep wondering if I’m part of the reason you chose to lock yourself away… that you want to avoid me just as much as the military interrogation. For someone who once begged me to stay alive no matter what, you’re being really fucking hypocritical. I always thought it was strange that you chose the words you did when you asked me to ‘be a coward’ if it meant I lived, but I think I understand that now, too.”

“It’s you who’s a coward. You aren’t even ashamed of it. Everything you did to me was so selfish, and you took me for an idiot. I thought you were a good person despite everything you said. I was so good to you and in return you lied to me and treated me like garbage.”

Now you’re genuinely starting to get upset. You choke back a sob and force yourself to breathe.

“When I think about the things you’ve done, part of me hates you. I don’t want anything to do with you… but then I remember the good things, too. I dream about you every single time I sleep. Every time I wake up there’s a minute where I forget everything that’s happened, and it’s like you could be just across the hall again, back when we first met.”

You stare at her unchanged face, passive and nearly sparkling with refracted light in the crystal. She looks peaceful for the most part, but there’s a distant sadness knitted into her eyebrows and in the downturn of the corners of her lips.

“Did you really love me?” you ask, empty of emotion.

It feels like you’re talking to yourself.

“The worst part is that in the end, I don’t hate you. Not all the way. I think… I think you might have really loved me. That’s the only reason I can come up with that you could do this to me, and leave me like this. In your own fucked up way, that’s your way of protecting me. But I resent that you pushed me away. I wish that I could have talked to you one last time.”

“If you can hear me, then listen: I don’t blame you for everything that’s happened. I mean, I do – it’s despicable. But I don’t blame you the way the military does. The person that I got to know wasn’t a monster. I don’t think you wanted to kill people... I saw the way it hurt you after Trost… I –” you stumble on your words.

You can’t talk about that. It hurts too much. You want to kick yourself for comforting her after she murdered your friends, and a part of you even wants to yell at her. Though you also remember the way she cried and shook, pushed you away. How she begged for forgiveness…

“No, don’t comfort me, I don’t deserve it. Or your kindness, or your love,” she had said. “It’s me that’s the issue. It always has been, You’re the one who deserves better.”

The memories come flooding through your mind again, like you’d gotten so used to over the past few days. Now that you’re sitting in front of her you find that you feel more hurt than anything. You’re angry and brokenhearted and confused, but mostly just betrayed.

“I saw your face when you were a Titan. You were scared. You cared that people died… I never understood why you pretended like you didn’t care. I thought you had anxiety, or you never properly learned how to talk to another person. Maybe you were embarrassed – that could still be true.”

Out of nervousness, you look over your shoulder to see if the soldier supervising you was actively paying attention. He was not, but you keep your voice low anyway.

“But in the end, I think you were ashamed. I knew that, on some level. I thought it had to do with your sexuality, maybe? Or maybe you just had trouble figuring out where you fit in. You acted like you hated everyone else. But now, I think that you hated yourself most of all. And I feel bad for you. I’ve always wanted better for you.”

You touch the crystal, flattening the palm of your hand against the surface. It’s cold, lifeless, just like the blonde girl inside.

“Ever since all of this has gone down, I’ve thought about everything that’s ever happened between us in a different way, trying to see when you were lying to me. And now that I know what you were doing, it all makes sense. Whenever the memories replay it’s like I watch all of the dots connecting, only it’s too late for me to actually do anything about it.”

“Do you think we’ll ever get to talk again, like we used to?” you ask her. This one-sided conversation wasn’t doing much for you besides making you feel lonely. “Have I hugged you for the last time without even knowing?”

It leaves you emotionally exhausted to think of either outcome. How are you ever supposed to move on if you never speak to her again? You can’t imagine gaining closure in her absence.

And if she does come out, you’re not sure how you’d feel anyway. Will you still be angry, would you be able to put everything aside? Are the feelings you once had for her strong enough, or genuine enough, that it won’t fade over time?

You’re not sure if you’ll ever look at her the same way you did once, with tenderness and love in your eyes. The heaviness of that sentiment breaks your heart – right now you care about her so much that it makes your chest ache. You don’t want the affection you have for her to fade, or to lose the feeling of warmth that she brought into your hear. If you lose it now, you’re worried that you’ll never be able to feel like that again.

The overwhelming feeling you’re left with is a stomach-churning mix of apprehension and fear, but not on your own behalf. It deeply upsets you to think that she chooses a dreamless limbo as her fate. Even if she is in there, how might this affect her in the long run?

“I know why you lied to me now. I get it, and sometimes, I forgive you. You were terrified, that much was clear from the beginning. I always knew that you were hiding something, but I just thought you were unhappy where you were. Only now I realize that your world is so much bigger than what’s inside of these walls.”

“It was never the military, or even Paradis, really, that you wanted to escape. It was your whole life. You never wanted any of this. I’m sorry that you were put into such a shitty position. I wish you had let me understand… maybe I will someday.”

That’s all you want, really. In the darkest times, you retreat to your favorite daydream. There are no sharp details, just fuzzy glimpses of intimacy and happiness that you’ve learned is all too fleeting. You’re together, happy. Safe. Does anything else matter?

From across the room, the solider assigned to watch you finally speaks up.

“Your twenty minutes are up.”

Panic stirs up in your gut. There’s still so much you wanted to tell her, and to ask her about. Is this really all you get for now? You try to reassure yourself that she isn’t going anywhere, that you’ll have plenty of time to think about what else you need to say. It only adds to your fear concerning the situation.

You wipe away your tears. “Okay. I’m coming.”

It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that this is what interaction will be like from now on, if you could even call it that. All you’re doing is staring up at her sadly.

She never had been much of a talker. It breaks your heart that she’s having to pay such a steep price – you wanted to know more. More about why she would hide away when you know she has answers that would save her. More about where she came from and why she did such horrible things.

There’s still something more that she’s running away from. Something that haunts her, a nameless evil. Even still, she’s protecting you.

What was the point of theorizing? You know no theory you can come up with will be close to the truth.

Tiredness overwhelms you as you reach the entryway of the cavern, next to your escort. The guard is already holding the door open waiting for you to go on through. You shake your head, and for the millionth time hold back your tears.

“I need a second,” you cry, turning around so that he won’t see your display of emotions. You try and ignore the sigh of annoyance you get in response.

Before you leave her, you look at Annie one last time. You take no comfort in seeing her here or in imagining what it must be like for her. It brings you no peace to know that she lies sleeping beneath the city you hate more than anywhere else, trapped in the cold and the dark.

Finally, you force yourself to dry your tears. These brief visits are all you’re allowed to have whether you like it or not, and you know deep down that you’ll have to learn to accept the situation as it is.

It feels like you’re leaving everything behind, on a certain level. You can’t pinpoint when exactly it happened, when you stopped caring so much. Maybe it was sometime in the endless overlapping hours you spent thinking all too much while stuck in jail. Maybe it was before that, when you were covered in dust and blood in the wreckage of the city above.

You feel empty. The hurt is still there, and it will demand to be acknowledged. Yet for now, you push it aside. Right now you embrace the numbness of feeling nothing. If that’s the only way you can get through the hardest parts, then so be it.

After all, you have a promise to keep. You can’t let her down when there’s still a sliver of possibility that she’s alive inside that crystal.

Now, with the numbness inside of you easing the ache, you do something that you never thought you’d be able to do without Annie.

You walk away.

im just as traumatized as y'all... STILL PLEASE YELL AT ME THOUGH. MAKE THE PAYOFF WORTH IT. IM SCREAMNIG TOO.

extended commentary :re the CSA warning - i swear to god that i tried to approach the topic of abuse suffered by lil brother Samuel from a human-sacrifice angle but... it just didn't work . i couldn't make it better so i hesitantly decided to try and roll with it. i've always said that Annie needs someone who is just as traumatized as she was but uh. this one hurts my heart a little more than the rest of it.

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jeankirsteinsgirl · 9 months

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The AOT Girls and their Kinks (NSFW)

Mikasa: Face Sitting and Boobs. Mikasa is a little subby baby and is very sensitive even before she's cum. Her nipples, however so especially sensitive, you could probably make her cum just from playing with them. When she's turned on which is often but she'll never admit to that her nipples get a little more swollen and take on a brighter shade of pink from the blood rushing to her sensitive buds. God, it's so hot to see her like that, pussy dripping, begging to be touched, nipples swollen. She begs you to touch them so you'd knead the soft large mounds in your hands slowly stroking the heel of your hand over her sensitive little nipples making her moan each time. Then you'd slowly press sloppy wet kisses down her collarbones to her pretty tits before licking circles around each one, making her roll her head back in pleasure. She'd beg for you to suck on them and of course you do. So you take her sensitive nipple into your mouth, pinching, twisting, and playing with the other one sending shivers down her spine, while you lick and suck at the pretty pink bud in your mouth. After that she's literally dripping down her thighs she needs you so bad so she sits on your face. She doesn't sit on your face to be dominating in any way, it just feels so good having her wet pussy pressed directly against your mouth like that, so she prefers it this way. You get such an amazing view as she lowers that delicious pussy on your tongue, seeing her beautiful full body hovering above you, her big tits bouncing up and down her chest as she grinds into your tongue. You hold her hips down on your face with your hands firmly to make sure she has nowhere to escape to while you devour her pussy, tongue making its way through her soaked puffy folds, blushed a light shade of pink from her arousal and before you know it shes cumming all over your face, running down your chin as you lick up all her cum.

Pieck: Squirting and Scissoring. Pieck is goood in bed and she knows it and she especially likes when you show her just how good she is. You get so wet for her and she loves playing with your dripping pussy until you're squirting all over her. She's more dominant but like Jean, she's a soft dom, everything she does she does for you, all she wants to do is see you cum for her, all over her finger, over the double-ended dildo, all over her face until its dripping down her chin, she lives for it. She loves the way your pretty pussy contracts before gushing over her, giving her the sweet satisfaction that she can make you feel so good :( But she's needy too she wants to cum just as much as she wants to make you cum, she definitely gets you off first however she can but she rubs her puffy little clit with her fingers while shes doing it so she's all nice and wet by the time you two do something together. And her favorite thing to do together? Scissoring. Easy. She loves watching your soaking pussy, so sensitive and swollen from already cumming grind against hers, her puffy folds enveloping yours. Getting off at the lewd sight of your pussy dripping into hers, your juices mixing, pussies so wet from rubbing each other the pornographic sound of them playing with each other makes her even more wet. She'll stare at your face all squinted in arousal and neediness and then back down to where your pussies meet and it is enough to send both of you over the edge cumming on each other, so pretty :)

Annie: Fingering and Finger Sucking. Annie is a dom no way about it. She prefers to touch you than be touched, it gets her off more the way you wriggle and writhe under her touch, and unlike Pieck she's more of a strict dom. You cum when she says you can cum and not a minute sooner. You only moan if she says you can make noise, and if she wants you to take all three of her fingers, you're gonna take all three. The sight of you cumming around her fingers drives her crazy, she loves thrusting them into you and feeling how tight and wet you are just for her. She'll tease that little spongey spot inside you while rubbing small circles just enough to have you begging for her but she loves seeing you like this. She'll edge you just a little bit, just enough for it to be fun before letting you cum all over her fingers watching as your juices flow out in between her fingers, making sure to finger you all the way through your orgasm or maybe even to a second one if you're lucky. She'll tell you how good you are for her before she puts her fingers in your mouth watching you taste yourself for her, sucking on her fingers while you look up at her with our big innocent eyes, that is a sight she'll never get enough of.

#anime #aot #aot smut #attack on titan smut #attack on titan x reader #aot x reader #mikasa x reader #mikasa ackerman #mikasa smut #mikasa x you #mikasa ackerman x reader #mikasa ackerman x you #pieck finger #pieck aot #pieck x reader #pieck finger smut #pieck smut #annie leonhart #annie leonhardt x reader

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mommypieck · 8 months

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⌗︙・telling annie you love her ⸜⸜・

"aren't you a cute girl?" annie coos at you, her fingers sinking into your cunt. the mirror in front of you shows the whole picture, you with your legs open and annie fingerfucking you. you lean down against her chest, kissing her jawline. she looks down at you, a small smile flashing on her face. you lay your head on her shoulder, "you're also a pretty girl."

your praise throws her off, her fingers stopping.

"stop with that nonsense." she growls, smacking your pussy and making you yelp.

"i love you, annie." you tell her, her cheeks flashing red. she stands from behind of you, throwing you on your bakc and crawling on top of you.

"show me how much you love me by your pretty noises." she smirks before diving in between your legs. she eats you out like a woman starved, naughty smacking filling the whole room. she licks her lips as she latches onto your clit. she fucks it into her mouth, earning a scream out of you.

"tell me you love me." annie basically moans against your pussy.

"i love you."

"louder."

"i love you so much." you scream, clear juice squirting out of you. you shake as you cum, almost suffocating annie in between your legs.

"i love you to, love. let's clean you up." she smile she gives you is genuine and loving, making you adore her even more.

#aot x reader #aot smut #attack on titan smut #aot headcanons #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan x you #annie leonhart x reader #annie leonhart smut #annie leonhardt x reader #annie leonhardt x you

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lostinwildflowers · 3 months

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Summary: A young, naïve princess and a scrappy kid off the streets find themselves at odds, only to form a close connection that could cost the princess's future.

Word Count: 27.5K(...I am so sorry)

Warnings: Slowburn, Enemies to Lovers, Angst, Pining(and a lot of it), Violence, Fighting, Illness(Not Pregnancy), Graphic Description of Death, Blood and Gore, Harsh Language/Swearing, Royalty AU, Happy Ending

A/N: Guys. I have finally finished this fic after it sitting in my drafts for OVER A YEAR! I hope the wait was worth it, please enjoy. Also this isn't beta-ed so if there are any mistakes I apologize😭 -Birch<3

Some Inspirations(full credit to the artists!!!):

Knight Levi (1)

Knight Levi (2)

Knight Levi (3)

It was close to the break of a cool, brisk dawn, and an 18-year-old boy with raven hair was being escorted by the king’s guard. The men of the guard hurriedly ushered him toward the castle gates, hoping to keep the situation quiet.

The boy had just been scooped up from the streets of the small town outside the castle where he had fought against a robbery in the town’s bank. Two large men had been knocked unconscious and tied up outside the front door while he returned the coins to the banker, who was crying uncontrollably, thanking him.

The boy’s name?

Levi Ackerman. He was skimpy, short, and looked like the butt of a joke. Yet from the tallest hill to the deepest valley across the kingdom, he was known as one of the best crime fighters in the nation.

Levi was known for his cunning, stoic nature, as well as his ability to fight with an unnatural quickness on his feet. Never once had he had a run-in with the law, he would send for the guard as soon as he started fighting the criminals. The poor guards men and women would show up to take the criminals away, only getting a quick glance at the small boy saving their town.

That’s why when the royal guard came to find him after the banking skirmish, Levi didn’t resist. He knew he wasn’t in trouble.

As they rode back toward the castle and away from the small village, Levi listened to the guard’s oblivious chatter. They wanted to recruit him to be a part of the royal guard… at the king's request? The thought surprised him, but he didn’t let that show. He knew that if he agreed to be a part of the king’s military force, he would be well taken care of and still be able to serve justice to those who needed it.

The sound of steel horseshoes clicking against the grey and black tiled rocks in the road was barely audible in comparison to the bustle of the town just outside of the castle. Levi was mounted on the back of one of the king's horses, his silver eyes narrow and cautious as he watched everyone hustle around the entourage.

Before he knew it, he was walking away from the life he was accustomed to, and as soon as he made it through the palace gates, his life changed forever. You could say it was almost difficult to keep up, but Levi knew how to quickly adapt.

He's shown the barracks and his sleeping quarters, where he was lucky enough to get a small cot in the corner away from many of the other soldiers. He caught sight of some of the soldiers and their trainees, donning stripes on their armor to show off their rank.

Levi doesn’t quite know what to make of everyone, they are all so happy, so clueless to the outside world, it almost disgusts him. But, he keeps his mouth shut and listens as he gets his tour and settles into his new life.

Bright and early the next morning, he goes to train in the sparring lot with his group of roommates. Several of them had tried to talk to him and learn about his past, but he wasn’t interested in making friends.

He watched several pairs spar without weapons before it was his turn to go. The thing about Levi that surprised all of his opponents was his strength. Despite his smaller size, he could easily surpass and beat his fellow trainees in combat. Between his different styles of movement and his speed, he was untouchable.

Levi spent the first while at the castle doing what seemed like pointless activities to him. He knew how to unsheath a sword. He knew how to ride a horse. All of the basics were skills he inherently knew from his life on the streets fighting crime.

That's why no one was surprised when he advanced to the group of other guard trainees, who had been at the castle, learning the trade for over a year. It was strange at first, with everyone unsure of the quiet, small boy, but they eventually came to make small chat and he began to fit in.

Time seemed to slide by as fall weather started to set in. Leaves changed from dark, rich greens to playful yellows and tasteful oranges. It’s on one of these fall days, that Levi meets you for the first time.

You were elegant, graceful, and naive at only 17, out for a walk in one of your many private courtyards. You were out strolling by yourself, as you often did. There were guards littered throughout the palace, so you weren’t too concerned about danger.

You loft around one of your favorite courtyards, the Josephina Garden Hall, blinking through the falling leaves and sighing in happiness at the breeze that floats through, carrying the last of summer’s warmth. In your lackadaisical wandering, you catch sight of a dark-haired boy around the corner.

You stay quiet and you blink in surprise when you realize he is training in your private yard. He's young, you think to yourself as you shift to stand next to some browning thistle bushes. Butterflies erupt in your belly as you take in his shirtless and lean muscular back that is facing you.

Even with his boyish age, Levi is covered in thick, strong muscle, but due to his intense practice routine, he's covered in dirt and some bruises. You could even see the pale gleam of faded scars on his chest and back, and that's when you decided you needed to know who this recruit was.

What kind of guard trainee is this? He looks young, but he seems so experienced, he couldn't have come from one of the lords, you think to yourself as you shakily emerge from your hiding spot.

You roll your shoulders back and down, lifting your chin as you walk as poised as you can. An image of grace, or so you thought. You were youthful and inexperienced, having only just gotten out of a lecture about politics and debate. Your days were spent going to classes, electives, and other menial lessons.

This was your time of day to relax, but the air suddenly changed from inquisitive to tense. Just as you started to approach the dark-haired boy, who was swinging his swords in a practiced sequence, he caught sight of you.

He flips his sword over in his hand, and pivoting on one foot, his blade just grazes your chin to lift it and look deep into your wide (colored) eyes. The slight sting of the blade causes you to jump back, your hands racing to your face to see if he drew blood.

Your heart is pounding in your chest as you pull them back to see just a small droplet on the tip of your fingers, and your breathing is labored as you glare at the raven-haired boy.

Levi holds your stare as well as the stance with his blades and mutters, "Who are you and why are you watching me train?” It's silent for a moment as you process his words, the fading stinging on your chin slowing your brain down. Your mouth parts open, both in offense and shock.

He didn't know who you were.

You swallow thickly as you blink slowly once, trying to regain your composition as you reply, "It doesn't matter. You are training in a private courtyard meant for this kingdom's elite and personal guards."

His silver gaze bores into you for another minute before they roll in annoyance, his swords dropping away from you with an irritated sigh. He takes a small step backward, regaining your gaze without saying a word.

You watch him carefully, slightly nervous before dropping into a shallow curtsy. You look down and murmur, "Excuse me then." Levi takes a step to the side as you walk past him, skirts fluttering as you look straight ahead without a second thought.

Once you're out of earshot, Levi watches you leave and wander into the next garden, disappearing around the corner. Who the hell was that? He thinks to himself but brushes it off and continues with his training.

---

Later that same evening, the other recruits were laughing and chuckling after a hard day of training. Levi walked along behind them, listening to their conversations but never truly taking part in them.

Everyone was headed back to the barracks, slowly wandering through the outskirts of the castle while trying to not be too loud. He kept one hand on the hilt of his blade, his gaze trailing away from the crowd of trainees in a practiced and calculated manner.

Colt, Porco, and Zeke were leading the group, some of the advanced trainees Levi had come to know. They were cracking jokes and talking about what was for dinner, but Levi didn't care for their conversation. He found more interest in listening to Reiner and Bertholdt who were in front of him.

The two young boys were discussing the upcoming rotations for the guard trainees. Each rotation group was stationed somewhere different around the castle and courtyards, and they rotated every couple of weeks so the guards could defend anywhere they were needed.

Reiner was more worried about who he was going to be stationed to watch, which made Levi roll his eyes, his silver gaze locking onto motion around the upcoming corner.

A split second later, he sees your figure surrounded by a flock of maids on your every side. Then, just a few paces behind them were your two female guards, Pieck and Annie.

His eyes narrow as the pieces click together in his head. He's interrupted when the other male guards he was walking with recognize you. “Good evening, milady,” Colt chirps out, a wide smile on his face as the group comes to a halt.

You had been talking to one of your maids about some kind of fabric for your next dress but were interrupted by the sight of the guards in front of you. You give the men at the front a sweet smile as the group of trainees all drop to one knee in a respectful bow.

All except for one.

The dark-haired boy, you think as he locks eyes with you. You nod silently to the maids, who skirt around all of the men and head toward your quarters. You continue to smile gently as they leave, and you address the trainees with a quiet and pleasant, "At ease soldiers."

Zeke offers you a wide grin and says, “Good evening, princess! Lovely weather we've had today, perhaps we can get some musicians to play in the back courtyard for you after dinner tonight.”

While Zeke is talking, you don't break eye contact with Levi, who is still standing at the back, not kneeling like the rest. You see Reiner elbow Levi in the knee, motioning to kneel in respect, but Levi continues to stare at you.

As Zeke finishes speaking, you shift your gaze to him slowly and agree, "Wonderful idea, Zeke. Please alert some butlers and other maids to gather everyone, especially my family and the lords. Reiner, Porco, join him, please?"

Zeke humbly agrees, as do the others, and you give them a dismissive nod, saying, "Thank you, gentlemen. Make sure to get my favorite violinist!" As the three blondes rise and disappear around the corner you just came from, you are left with Colt and Bertholdt kneeling, and the dark-haired boy still standing.

Levi's eyes are calculating and firm, and you nod to Colt and Bertholdt, relieving them from their bows of respect, heading past you and to the barracks. Colt turns around when he realizes Levi isn't following him but freezes at the showdown playing out in front of him.

You square up with Levi, taking a few steps toward him before he says, “You’re a princess? Makes sense why I caught you so off guard. You were loud, obviously in my line of sight, and an easy target who can’t even protect herself.”

A gasp sounds out as Colt gapes at the harshness of Levi's words, but the dark-haired boy doesn't say anything. And neither do you. You simply stare at where Levi’s head had been moments before as the boy walks past you, brushing past the other trainees. He disappears down the hallway where Colt and Bertholdt had been heading, straight for the barracks.

Annie and Pieck are still standing behind you, and when you don't move for a second, Pieck rests her hand on your shoulder. "Princess Y/n? Are you alright?"

You don't say anything, but turn to face Annie instead, a snarl now etched onto your usually kind features. There is a fire burning in your (colored) eyes as you give her a cold look and state, "Teach me to fight."

---

The training session with Annie was just coming to an end, with your muscles sore and aching and your chest heaving to catch your long-gone breath. It was a long and brutal session, as Annie wasn't forgiving and it was warm as could be outside despite it being the middle of fall.

It didn't help that you were in your new fitted armor that Pieck helped you choose - it was heavy and there were many layers to keep you protected. There was a well-fitting breastplate that was engraved with your family’s name and emblem, cuffs for your forearms, and even protective plates for your calves, thighs, and biceps.

It was intricate and beautiful, with each piece perfectly tailored to your body. The one downside - it was heavy. With the rays of the autumnal sun beating down and carrying the extra weight you weren't used to, it was tough on your body.

Annie being a deadly threat didn't really help either, but at least her blade was only a wooden practice sword.

Her weapon came down fast and hard in a never-ending wave of attacks that were perfectly timed, accurate, and most of all, deadly.

With a fast nudge from her wooden blade, your sword easily flew to the ground, clattering against the hard-packed dirt. You were out of breath, with your hair all mussed up and grime smudged across your cheek from your hours of practice.

Silver eyes were watching from a distance in the trainee’s practice area, but you were too tired to notice anything. Instead, you were focused on Annie, who was holding her own sword up to your throat, much like Levi did two weeks ago.

"You've got a long way to go," is the only thing she says. You sigh deeply as she takes a step back and drops her sword, turning to walk away.

"I'm going to clean up, Pieck is here to watch you," Annie calls over her shoulder as she sheaths her practice blade back into her belt, and you give her a feint wave as you locate Pieck near the edge of the training field.

You watch as Annie’s blonde head disappears behind some shrubbery before slumping unceremoniously to the ground, a groan falling from your lips.

A few pants escape you as you close your eyes, a wave of exhaustion flooding over you. You try to calm the erratic beating of your heart and slow your breathing down as a light breeze begins to blow through. Leaves stir up on the ground, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

While your eyes are closed, everything somehow seems to get darker, and the breeze seems to stop just a moment later. Your (colored) eyes flutter open and up, leaving you face-to-face with the dark-haired boy.

You groan again and move to get up as Levi glimpses down at you and he states blankly, "You need practice." You shuffle to your feet shakily, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath before opening them and answering him with, “Yes. I know. Thank you, soldier.”

“It’s Levi,” he cuts you off firmly, "Levi Ackerman.”

You squint at him silently, leaning down to pick up your fallen sword without a word. A small puff of air leaves your mouth as your hand wraps around the hilt of the blade and you mutter, “Well, Levi Ackerman, I’m practicing, and you should be too.”

The dark-haired boy simply scoffs and says “I'm already better than you in all aspects of combat, you need the practice more than anything. I’m not even sure why you’re out here, shouldn’t you be learning how to sew or something?”

Your hand falters on the grip of your sword for a second before your gaze hardens and you snap, “As you said, I need to learn to protect myself, and I'm working toward that goal.”

You don't hesitate a moment after that, choosing to turn away from him and follow Annie to wherever she had disappeared. Levi is left standing behind you as you storm away, quiet as he takes in your retreating appearance.

Pieck had caught sight of your small spat with Levi, and as she followed you out of the practice field, she shot an icy glance toward the dark-haired recruit.

---

Your days were endlessly busy, and you were the most exhausted you had ever been in your entire life, with meetings with potential princes, lords, and suitors, going to your lessons to learn about foreign policy, hosting balls, developing legislature, and more.

On top of that, you were still determined to train with Annie and Pieck when you had a moment free. Annie focused on teaching you sword techniques and improving your reaction time, while Pieck focused on sequences and how to use them while in a fight.

You were slowly improving with every day you practiced. You were becoming leaner, and building more muscle. You were less quick to tire, you didn’t lose your breath as much, and you were getting to the point where you could occasionally match Annie’s blows.

Your mother and father weren’t so sure about you learning to fight, but your elder brothers had all learned, so they accepted that it was something you wanted to do. Your mother thought it was “unladylike”, but your father thought it was a good idea that you knew the basics of protecting yourself if you needed to.

"Slow!” Annie's yell comes at you as she spins and slashes her sword toward your ribcage, her aim constantly perfect. You manage to dodge her attack before you parry your blade against hers, using your body weight to push her back a step.

The two of you were sparring in one of the private courtyards this particular day, while Pieck stood guard not too far off.

The two of you circled each other before Pieck called out, “I think that's enough for today, you two, Annie, it's time for us to go on patrol. Colt and Porco will be on guard while we are gone.”

You were in an intense staring battle with Annie, who breaks her gaze away from yours to nod at Pieck. You groan and whine out, “But Pieck, I'm not tired yet, I can still practice for another hour!”

Quiet footsteps behind you make your head turn, and you suddenly see a blade coming down toward your face. A flash of fear runs through you, and you instantaneously react, bringing your sword up to catch the opposing blade.

You just barely catch it in time, and you realize your heart is pounding in your chest as the initial rush of adrenaline burns off. Shock is evident on your face as your lips part in a gasp and your eyes widen, but you soon frown when you are met with that new yet familiar silver gaze.

"Then let's fight for another hour," the low voice comes.

Annie and Pieck had both drawn their swords, just to find the dark-haired boy named Levi was the assailant. Dressed in his practice armor, the silver metal covering his body reflected the same color as his eyes.

One of his swords was drawn, the blade pushing down on your own, leaning toward your face. You could see the concentration in his brow, but you weren’t about to give up and lose. Stalemate it is then, you think to yourself as you brace against Levi.

At that moment, Colt and Porco walk into the yard, suited up in their new armor, their eyes wide when they catch sight of you and Levi. Pieck sighs and walks over to them, briefly giving them the rundown of events before she and Annie leave for their patrol.

Colt and Porco, each respectively, take a position on either side of the yard, giving you and Levi plenty of room to fight. When your eyes meet Levi’s again, you find him with what could be considered a smirk resting on his lips.

"Let's fight, princess.”

At that, he pushes his blade off of you in a sudden burst of energy, spinning away quickly to avoid any counterattack from you. This gives you time to draw your sword in an effective manner to combat his every blow.

Levi draws his second sword, now dual-wielding in the style that no one seemed to be able to replicate. You grit your teeth and go after him swinging, allowing the metal of your blade to clash against his, your footsteps shuffling in the fine gravel and dirt. Your hair was falling out of the already messy ponytail it had been in, the (colored) locks falling into your eyes.

You felt unkempt, wild, and stronger than you ever had before. And this time when you were fighting, you had the physical strength to show it.

While you were on the muscle and ready to attack at every movement, Levi was at ease, effortlessly matching your blows; twisting and flipping just out of range of your blade.

Eventually, Levi starts to get the upper hand, and without you realizing it, he gets you backed up and pinned to the wall. In an instant, one of his blades flicks yours to the ground before being pointed at your throat, while his other one comes up to point at your belly.

He's panting now though, with sweat running down his forehead and neck, disappearing behind the silver chainmail covering his chest. The sun just barely catches his left eye as he gazes at you, and it glows like a hot ore on a fire.

It's silent between you two, your blade is on the ground so there is no way to defend yourself, and your hands are by your sides. At that moment, you are out of breath, beaten, with nothing to say for yourself.

Levi pauses for a moment before dropping his swords and resheaths them, one on his back and the other at his hip. He takes a deep breath through his nose and gives you a small, shallow bow and a quiet mumble of, “Better.”

He takes a few swift steps back and jogs out of the yard, giving Colt a simple nod before disappearing toward the barracks. You're left standing there, dazed, as you watch his armor glitter and dance in the disappearing rays of sunlight.

You hardly notice it, but a faint flush has covered your face, and as you touch your cheek, you realize it's warm.

---

The sun had sunk below the horizon and the coolness of the full autumn nights was bone-chilling. While you had gotten cleaned after some flower arranging and training exercises that afternoon, there was a part of you that wanted to get messy.

So, you decided to go to the forges and clean your practice gear. The plates had been coated with mud and grass from the numerous times you hit the ground while sparring Annie, and there was no doubt dust caked onto the cloth from the dirt Levi kicked up when he surprised you.

It was late in the evening, several hours after dinner, and one of the times of the day that you were allowed to be alone for just a few minutes. Not wanting to make a scene, you chose to go to one of the smaller forge rooms, one that you knew not many people used.

You took a few moments, setting up a few candles on the workbench and lighting them, stoking the fire in the hearth to warm up the small workshop. There were several tables set up in the room, embroidered cloths carrying the royal insignia, others holding stacks of bent swords and dented plates of armor.

On your workbench, someone had left out a few delicate trinkets and other lightweight tools, and you find yourself smiling at the meaning behind them. A small forged flower? Perhaps for a lover back home, you wonder to yourself as you gently move it to the far side of the table.

You can’t help but sigh in happiness at the quiet sounds of the workshop; the crackle of the small fire burning in the hearth of the forge, the distant sounds of drunk men happy with their work for the day, and even the call of a spotted owl hooting in the distance.

The ability to be alone for a few minutes was much appreciated after the clashing of swords all afternoon, and you quietly start to work on polishing your armor as a warm, orange glow begins to fill the room. The faint smell of wood smoke fills the air, accompanied by the dark and rich aroma of the oil used to clean your armor and blade.

Time seems to tick by slowly, and you don’t even realize there is moonlight shining through the window until the sound of footsteps approaching catches your attention. Your (colored) orbs are snatched away from the rhythmic movement of polishing your thigh plate at the noise and you cease motion as you look to see who it is.

As you turn to face the entrance to the forge, you are met with the shadowed face of Levi, who when he notices you, his eyes widen ever-so-slightly and he bows in recognition and murmurs, “Princess”.

You can feel your eyes narrow in immediate suspicion at the sudden respect he is showing you. He quietly walks past you, moving to sit at the table closest to the forge, the two of you facing each other, yet tables apart.

You notice he is carrying his own gear, and you soften the intensity of your expression and answer him with a short, "Good evening, Levi,” before returning to your thigh plate with the small rag.

It’s quiet for another moment, but the simple silence that had once surrounded you has grown thick and uneasy. You could feel yourself shifting on the bench you were sitting on, realizing you were in a much more casual outfit than you typically wore. It wasn't nearly as extravagant as your day-to-day dresses, but you still felt comfortable enough to be seen by your guards and maids.

So with it being Levi sitting in the same forge as you, it made you uneasy. You watch him pull a stool out from the corner of your eye, the wooden legs scratching against the ashen ground near the forge’s mouth. What had been a harmonious sound from the forge becomes the sharp hiss of logs burning and the soft zings of metal being wiped clean and sharpened.

You feel the need to say something, anything, and so you mumble carefully, "You fought well today.” You dunk your rag in more oil, (colored) eyes cast down toward your hands. You can feel Levi’s heated gaze snap onto your frame, and the intensity of them is like daggers digging into your sides.

"I fight well every day,” he almost snarls. You feel your heart practically jump to your throat at the harshness of his tone, and you keep your eyes on cleaning a piece of mud off of a shoulder pauldron. Suddenly you feel foolish for saying something, and it's quiet for another moment before he pipes back up.

“But thank you," he murmurs, softer this time, "You are getting better, some of your combinations are pretty good.”

His words are simple, and straight to the point. They show no signs of being impressed or disappointed, it was like he was simply stating your fighting abilities like they were facts. Your cleaning motions completely stop as you process his words, and you can’t stop yourself from looking up to view his lithe figure.

Levi is working on cleaning his dual blades when your gaze lands on him, and he doesn't look up when your eyes find him. He doesn’t even seem bothered that he gave you what could be taken as a compliment, especially with how he has acted toward you.

But this is the first time you truly get to lay eyes on the scrappy boy, taking in his limber build. He's not large. Everything about him seems to be small, regardless of the obvious muscling on his frame.

You know he's strong despite his size, and he is lethally fast, which proves to be a deadly combination. The boy sitting across the room from you has something about him that sets him apart, and you just can’t put your finger on what it is.

As you go back to cleaning your armor, you try to piece together a possible backstory for him. You know he didn’t live in the town connected to the castle, no one here knew him. He was around your age, and he knew how to fight, but he wasn’t from a royal or respected family.

You look up from your gear, setting everything off to the side and you state out of nowhere, “Levi, I want you to train me.”

It's quiet again, and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you wait anxiously. You then hear his blades hit the wooden table in a sudden clatter, drawing your gaze to the intricately designed swords.

No one else had swords like him. Custom designed, but embellished with the royal insignia, they were specifically made for his fighting style. You had wondered about them, and why your parents would allow for a random boy to have custom swords if he were just to be joining the guard.

You pause for a moment, thinking about how you made a major mistake asking this of him, and you look up to meet his gaze. And now, he's looking at you.

The expression on his face is one you don't know how to digest. He always seemed to look mad, bored, or sad when you watched him from a distance, but now you had no idea how to get a read on him. If you were to say what he looked like, you thought that he looked excited.

Levi stands up from his stool, the wood once again scraping against the ash-covered floor. His boots crunched on the thin layer of ash, but he didn’t seem to mind as he secured his blades on the table.

He moves with a grace you never noticed and he walks around the edge of your table to lean his hands on it directly across from you.

“No,” he says, his gaze still unreadable. You blink up at him, your fingers nervously weaving together in and out before you plead, “Teach me, there is no way I can get better if I don’t learn.”

You can feel his disbelief when he tuts and pushes off the table to stand up straight, looking down at you. His arms move to cross his chest and he responds again, “No, I’m not going to teach you.”

A wave of frustration washes over you and you stand up and frown before spitting out, “You have to!” Levi rolls his eyes and sighs, “I don’t have to do anything.”

You walk around the edge of the table to get closer to him and you point your finger at his chest and bark out, “You have to listen to me, I am your superior!” Levi smacks your finger away with his hand and is quiet for a moment.

His gaze shifts, and suddenly you can read his expression again. A challenge. His eyes become steely in the light of the forge, and you can see them flicker between your eyes, down your frame to your boots, and back up again.

You suddenly feel too warm standing there, and you uncomfortably shift side to side as you feel him silently judge you. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Here I am in clothes not suitable outside of my quarters, this guy is judging me after beating me today, and I’m begging him to train me. Get it together! The words flood into your mind as you stand there, and you cross your arms over your chest to try to cover up in insecurity.

“What’s in it for me?” he asks coolly, his gaze boring into yours as he awaits a response. You blink in disbelief and stutter, “Uh, uhm, I don’t know. What do you want?”

Levi rolls his eyes and walks back over to his gear, sliding the swords back into their sheaths. He folds up his armor and puts it back into a leather bag that he brought it in. He seemed dismissive and you were racking your brain before an idea caught in your brain.

“Land!” you call out loudly, before covering your mouth. Levi freezes and turns to look at you with one of his brows lifted in question. You take a quick breath and continue, “Land, for your family, here around the castle. That way you can see them whenever you want.”

Levi continues to put his stuff away and replies blankly, “My family is dead. I am alone.” A pit builds in your stomach and you usher out, “I’m sorry, I had no idea.” Levi glances at you and shrugs, “I’ve worked alone since I was a child.”

You are quiet again and let him walk past you toward the mouth of the forge. Just as he’s about to leave you mutter, “Please, Levi. I want to learn.”

He pauses behind you at the door, your backs facing each other. It’s quiet, with just the sound of the fire splitting open another log. You can hear the fluttering of the owl’s wings outside the window, and you turn to face the door, afraid he left.

Instead, you are met with Levi’s gaze watching your dejected figure. You can see he is calculating in his head, thinking, planning, and ready to say something that will destroy your hopes.

“You have no idea what you’re signing up for, princess,” is what falls from his mouth. It’s quiet, so quiet you almost miss it. A flicker of hope blooms in your belly and excitement takes over as you realize the implications of his words.

You take a step toward him, your hands clenching by your sides as you whisper, “Try me.”

Something flashes across his face, another unreadable emotion. He stares into your eyes and replies, “9 o’clock tomorrow night outside the Josephina Garden Hall. Don’t be late.”

Not a moment later, and he’s gone.

---

It’s just starting to get late, with the moon climbing higher and higher into the sky. You are nervously making your way to the Josephina Garden Hall on the south side of the castle, opposite the barracks.

You could hardly focus in your classes all day after the interaction with Levi in the forge room the night before. He was going to train you!

The training at night part made you a little nervous though, as you had really only practiced during the day and under heavy supervision. It was a windy night too, so you wore an extra layer underneath your practice gear so that you would stay warm.

A chill runs up your spine as you hurriedly make it inside the grandeur gates of the Josephina Garden Hall, and you take a deep breath as you start scoping the area for Levi.

You had informed Pieck and Annie of your new training program with Levi, and both of them were hesitant but supportive. They were both standing at the opposite sides of the gates when you entered, and you quickly waved at them in recognition.

Just as they start to wave back at you, there is a sharp and quick blow to your back that knocks you to the ground. Air rushes out of your lungs and your forehead knocks into the grey, rocky tile with a loud crack!

Ow, ow, ow! The pain sets in quickly, and you can tell you’ve cut your forehead, you’ve likely got gravel or dirt in your palms, and there is going to be a bruise in the middle of your back in the morning.

“Lesson 1 - always keep your defenses up,” the low voice comes from above you. You are trying to decipher the words when panic begins to set in. You couldn’t catch your breath.

You don’t think you’ve ever experienced so much breathlessness, and you roll over onto your back, gasping for air. In doing so, the voice, which belonged to Levi, rings out again, “Lesson 2 - don’t give yourself an opening for the enemy to disarm you.”

In a quick motion, his boot flicks your practice sword right out of its sheath on your hip. The wooden blade flips perfectly into his hand, and in an instant, the blade is pointing at your throat.

Blinking rapidly while trying to regain your breath, you take in Levi’s appearance. He was wearing a dark cloak, and his face was shadowed in the light of the moon. He looked… eerie. And for the first time since you had met Levi, you felt scared of him.

“As I said, princess, you’ve got no idea what you’re in for”, he spits out, dropping your sword next to your head. You shuffle into a sitting position, chest still heaving. Your mind was an absolute whirlwind due to the lack of oxygen and the speed and accuracy with which he evaluated your fighting knowledge.

You frown and grab your wooden practice blade, putting it back into your sheath before scrambling to your feet to face him. You pant for a moment and then say, “Then teach me how to be better.”

Levi turns to face you, the moonlight casting him in a silver glow. He cocks his head to the side slightly before he replies, “Your reaction time is slow, you move loudly, and you are uncoordinated.”

You stand still for a moment, taking in his words. You shrug and ask, “So how do I fix all that?” Levi squares up with you and says, “Well with someone of your skill level, you can’t work on it all at once. You need to learn the pieces individually and then start putting them together.”

He motions to a tree where you can just make out the figure of a spotted owl, the one you had seen the night before! Levi starts, “An owl doesn’t start out as a silent flier. It first must learn how to flap its wings to get in the air before it worries about how quiet it is.”

You nod in understanding as the owl turns its head, flaps its wings a few times, and then glides off into the woods outside of the courtyard. A small shift on your heel and you face Levi again and call out, “Let’s go again!”

---

That first training session was the start of a brutal and grueling process to get you in fighting shape. Levi was a good teacher, surprisingly, but he was relentless. For every time you messed up, you had to get it right three times in a row.

The weeks started to slide by, and you were getting stronger, faster, and more deadly. Winter has arrived in its full glory - frigid winds, iced-over paths, and inches of snow every morning. The pines in the forest had started to get weighed down by all the icicles hanging on, and the horses were blanketed every night to keep them warm.

It was hard, practicing in the cold. The dry, cold air made it hard to breathe when you were working to the point of exhaustion, and when the sun shone down just right, you were positive you were going to go blind.

That didn’t deter Levi, though. You had managed to get better with a blade, but Levi insisted you needed to learn how to fight hand-to-hand since you “were so good at losing your sword”.

So that led you to your current predicament - being across from Levi trying to dodge his punches. They were fast, one after the next, after the next. Perfectly timed with an accuracy you didn’t know someone could obtain.

You jump out of the way as fast as you can, but a blow to the rib catches you off-guard and has you keeled over, your breath puffing in the frigid air. The pain is sharp, but you’ve started to learn how to manage it better, so you stand back up and form your fists into balls.

You attempt to throw a weak punch toward Levi’s abdomen, but he catches your hand with ease. He’s strong enough that he pulls your hand up to eye level, looking at the form of your fist.

“Okay, first off, this isn’t how you should make a fist when throwing a punch,” Levi says to you, pointing to the way you had your right thumb in the middle of your fist. He pulls your hand apart and makes it flat before reforming it into a fist, wrapping your thumb around the outside of your middle and pointer fingers.

You feel a wave of heat wash over your face as you realize he’s close to you, touching your hand. You try to pay attention to what he’s telling you, but it’s like you are just now realizing the ashen color of his eyes is flecked with the faintest hint of light blue.

“If you had actually hit me with the fist you had, you would have broken your thumb in an instant,” he explains, dropping your hand and showing you the fist you had made but with his hand instead. You don’t expect to almost miss the warmth of his touch when he moves away, but you shake the thought away as soon as it comes.

You step off to the side, letting out a small breath that billows around your head before throwing a punch in the air with your fist in the correct position. You turn to gauge Levi’s opinion of your punch, and you see what resembles a small, half-smile on his face.

Levi sighs and shakes his head, “Not quite. You’re twisting your arm as you deliver the punch. You want your arm and shoulder to follow directly behind wherever your fist is landing. If you are moving to break someone’s nose, you want it all to be in a straight line.”

He demonstrates a quick punch in front of you, and you can see the line he’s talking about from his fist, through his arm to his shoulder. You take a deep breath, trying to focus as you once again square up with Levi. You hone in on his nose, and in a flash, your fist flies out in front of you.

It surprises both of you when your fist makes contact with his jaw, and there is a clack as Levi’s teeth clamp down together in pain. Your (colored) eyes are wide as Levi takes a step back, one of his hands coming up to cup his cheek.

Your fist is still hanging in the air from where you just punched him in the face and panic sets in as you realize you just punched him. “Oh-oh my gosh, Levi, I’m so sorry!” the words come rushing out of your mouth, and you take a step forward with your hands covering your face.

There is a slight grimace on Levi’s as he works his jaw up and down to dissipate any pain. He lets out a quiet snort and utters, “That’s more like it, even if your aim was a little off.”

Worry is etched across your features as you take in the growing red mark on Levi’s cheek. “Levi, I am so sorry, please let me take care of that,” you plead as you move around the side of him to get a better look at it in the light. Levi just brushes you off, waving his hand dismissively, “It’s alright, I’ve had much worse.”

You sigh and mumble, “I believe that but that doesn’t mean you need to suffer now. Please, Levi, let me at least get some ice for you so it doesn’t bruise as badly.”

He glances at you from the corner of his eye as he unwraps his hands, quiet and calculating. A moment passes but then he gives you a small nod, leaning down to pick up the extra wraps he brought, and motions for you to lead the way.

It’s a quiet walk back to the barracks, with only the snow crunching underfoot. You keep an eye on your surroundings, noting the guards just coming back from patrol in the forest, and the next rotation of trainees leaving to watch the castle walls.

Before you know it, the two of you are sliding into the small medicine room at the entrance to the barracks, and you grab a soft cloth and a stool. You have Levi sit on the stool while you run back outside, scooping up some of the fresher, cleaner-looking snow from outside the building.

Ducking back inside, you press the snow down into a ball inside the cloth, wrapping it until it is softly padded. You give Levi a small smile as you offer the rag to him, and he quietly grunts in thanks, bringing the cooled wrap up to his face and laying it on his cheek.

You rock back and forth on your heels a few times before asking, “So, uh, what are we going to practice next?” Levi looks up at you through his dark lashes, his eyes half-lidded in exhaustion. He’s quiet, which is something you’ve come to notice about him.

Levi never seems to have a lot to say, and only really talks when spoken to. Your thoughts are interrupted when he mutters, “You still need to work on your hand-to-hand combat skills, your aim is off.”

He shuffles the ice on his face a little bit, a soft hiss sliding through his gritted teeth. Your brows furrow and you reach out, moving to pull the ice from his face to see what his cheek looks like.

While you’re busy looking at the slight purple and pink marks blooming on his cheek, Levi is looking at you. He hasn’t spent much time with you in such close proximity, as he typically kept you at arm’s length.

But up close… you were pretty. He should expect that- you are a princess after all. But there’s a certain natural aura that he never noticed before, a sort of kindness written into your features. Maybe it was the way your (colored) orbs flickered from one dark spot on his jaw back to his eyes to see if he was okay.

Maybe it was the gentleness in your touch as you pulled his hand down from his face so you could look at it. It could have been the tenderness and honest sorrow in your voice when you apologized for hurting him.

Your hair, whilst messy from fighting, somehow suited you despite its frazzled appearance. The curve of your mouth when your lips were parted while thinking matched the ferocity you had when mad and the joy in your heart when you laughed.

Levi felt a wave of emotion run through him while you muttered to yourself how you needed to get better and train harder. It was intense, a feeling that shook him right to his core.

Was it… longing?

“When I was living on the street, alone,” he whispered, his voice so low and quiet you thought you were hearing things. You dialed in on Levi and the way his eyes were slightly glazed over as if he was in another world.

He pauses for a moment, swallows thickly, and then continues, “When I lived on the streets, there was this little girl I helped out. She was probably 7, maybe 8 years old. Didn’t have any family, no place to live. But I helped her.”

You are quiet as you listen to him, not wanting to upset him, you nod along. He glances up at you and starts again, “I would get her food, clean water, maybe even a place to sleep at night. In turn, she would find me medicine and bandages.”

Levi looks back down at the ground and his eyes flutter close as he mutters, “I was a sick kid, but she helped me when I needed her. I wonder where she ended up some days, and if she’s still as kind as she was to me.”

You shift your weight slowly, crossing your arms over your chest, and mumble back, “I can imagine she’s helping people, a good heart is a good heart. No amount of wounds and scarring will stop someone’s true nature.”

Suddenly, as if a flip switches in his mind, Levi’s eyes snap open and a hardened look covers his face. He stands up, slamming the snow-filled cloth down on the table and he practically snarls, “You would have no idea, all you’re used to is a protected life within these walls. You’ve never experienced what it’s like to live every day not knowing whether or not you’re going hungry.”

He lunges towards the door, pauses for a second, and spits over his shoulder, “Not everyone is as privileged as you, princess.” The words are as cold as ice, and you feel like your head has just been plunged into a bucket of water.

Hurt washes over you as you watch him disappear deep into the barracks, and you slam the door shut as you collapse onto the stool where he was just sitting. A sob tears itself from your throat before you can stop it, and you wonder why you’re crying.

Is it because his words are true? Is it because he was vulnerable with you? Or was it because you were starting to consider him a friend, and he only saw you as a pawn in the overall game of royal hierarchy?

---

A few days have tensely come and gone, and you and Levi haven’t spoken to each other since his outburst. You had buried yourself deep into studying, you figured that way you could stay out of his way and better yourself while doing so.

You hadn’t bothered practicing while being nose-deep in your books, and Annie and Pieck had started to notice. They had seen the dejected look on your face when you made it back to your room that night and how you shut the door without another word, locking them out.

They didn’t bother asking what was wrong when they saw Levi practicing with the other trainees and not with you. So, instead, they guided you to and from lectures, meetings, and other royal duties without hesitation.

There was one day where the sun seemed to break through the sky a little clearer and Pieck decided you needed to get some fresh air. She was waiting outside of your room, knocking gently before she called, “Princess Y/n, come out! You need some fresh air and out of those books.”

You groan at the distant call of Pieck’s voice, but deep down you knew she was right. You set a small bookmark between the pages of the current novel you were reading and begrudgingly call back, “Give me a moment to change into something more suitable for outside!”

Pieck smiles as she hears you fumble around for a few minutes before she hears your door click unlocked and you appear beside her. Dressed in clothes more appropriate for the winter weather outside, there is a disgruntled look on your face that says you aren’t happy with her interrupting you.

She rolls her eyes and says, “Come on, you know this will do you some good. Annie is already down at the stables getting our horses ready. It’s a nice day out and we thought you might like to go for a ride.”

The strained look on your face shifts to one of easeful thanks as you and Pieck make your way down to the stables. From a distance, you could see Annie’s blonde hair peeking out from underneath her cape, and beside her were three of your favorite horses.

The first was Ramon, a deep cherry bay with a small white star on his forehead. He was an absolute sweetheart and enjoyed going out on the trails. The second was your favorite mare, named Vairon, who was a small white and black spotted Leopard Appaloosa. She was a little on the fiery side, but you really enjoyed her company.

The third was an old, kind stallion named Enfés. He was a dark, seal bay that could almost look black in the middle of winter. While his name literally meant “hell”, the blaze of white hairs on his face showed his older age and the kindness in his eye.

You give each of the horses a quick rub between their eyes before you look to your two guards and ask, “Who wants who?” Annie was already holding Enfés since she tacked him up last and she replies, “I can ride Enfés since I already have him.”

You nod and look to Pieck and she shrugs with a smile saying, “Pick whoever you want!” You smile back with a giggle and mumble, “Alright, I’ll ride Vairon, I haven’t ridden her in a while.” You move to grab the mare, carefully guiding her out of the tacking area and out into the snowy, grass field just outside.

The three of you mount your horses and set off towards the woods. There were hundreds of miles of trails around the castle that you enjoyed riding through. In the summer, you could gallop your horses down the paths and out onto the open moors without hesitation.

But now, in the middle of winter, you were limited in how fast you could travel. While it was a warmer day and the snow was melting, you still had to be cautious of the slick ice underneath the snow that could make your horse slip.

You take a deep breath through your nose, the cool air burning your airways with a slight sting that is refreshing. You let the air slide back out through your lips, the warmth from your breath instantaneously freezing. It momentarily blocks your vision, and when it clears, your stomach drops at the sight in front of you.

Bandits.

There were several hooded figures, too many for you to get an accurate count in the split second you realized they were in front of you. Pieck and Annie had caught sight of them too, motioning to quickly move to the side of the path. There were only three of you, and at least a dozen invaders.

You can feel a wave of nervousness wash over you as you try to draw your sword from your sheath. You glance back and forth between the figures closing in on you and the hilt of your sword, which was caught on your cloak.

Crap, crap, crap! Is all that is racing through your mind as you struggle to get a hold of your only weapon. A cry rips through the air as Annie moves to fend off the first round of attackers. In a desperate motion, you let go of your reins to grip the hilt of your sword with both hands.

With another strong tug, your sword comes loose, and just in time for an arrow to whiz through the air near you. Another pang of fear runs through you, and in a panic, you jump off of Vairon, the mare instantly turning and bolting as the sounds of battle rapidly approach.

You try to steady yourself and in your mind, thinking through your training with both Levi and Annie. Just as you get a grip on your surroundings, a dark figure appears in the corner of your vision with a blade directed at your head. You duck on instinct, sticking your foot out in a way you had seen Levi trip someone many times.

The bandit trips over your extended leg, falling to their knees as you advance behind them, kicking them in the back with your other leg. This seems to knock the air out of them, leaving the bandit out of commission for a moment while you glance to see how Annie and Pieck are doing.

“Pieck?” you call nervously when you don’t see her black locks of hair anywhere. “Pieck?!” you yell more loudly when you don’t get a response. In your moment of distraction, you don’t notice another bandit sneaking up on you, and your attention draws back to the invader you had already knocked to the ground.

Just as you move to attempt to knock the invader out, the second bandit attacks. You’re too slow when you finally realize they are there, and shock rips through your nervous system as a searing hot pain takes over your left arm. You cry out, your voice shredding at the coarseness of your yell, and it’s loud enough to catch Annie’s attention.

“Princess Y/n!” she shouts towards you, parrying blow after blow with three attackers on her at once. You don’t get a chance to respond when you hear a voice exclaim, “A princess? She’ll be worth a lot if we can capture her!”

“It’s a shame that won’t be happening today,” a low voice barks from someplace behind you. The second invader launches at you, holding the blade that had cut you up to your throat. A gasp of pain leaves your lips and the guy who had a hold of you grabs you by the shoulder and yells, “Quiet, princess! Or I will have your head.”

He turns to face the unidentified voice you had heard, and you shuffle along to avoid any more injury. You hear the voice again, and through your pain and blurry vision, you can start making out a figure.

This time you know who the baritone belongs to as it rings out, “I can’t allow that either.” Before you can comprehend it, Levi is off his horse and lunges toward the bandit. You see a slight flick of his sword, and then you feel the pressure of the blade on your neck disappear.

With a shaky glimpse toward the ground, you can see the bandit’s severed hand still holding the sword. A scream splits the air behind you as the harsh pain sets in for the bandit, who steps away from you and tries to run. Levi is faster though, and he spins around, slashing his dual blades again.

You close your eyes as you hear the bandit’s body hit the cold, hard dirt beneath him. Another wave of agony washes over you as you feel warmth start to seep down your arm, and a choked sob breaks through your lips.

Not a moment later, you can feel a hand placed on your non-injured arm, and through tears you didn’t know had, you can make out the shape of Levi’s face. You can see concern on his features as he asks, “Are you alright?”

You are shaking, your whole body quivering as you try to contain your emotions through the pain. You try to nod your head but another cry leaves you with a fresh set of tears streaming down your face.

“H- how did you find us?” you manage to stutter out as Levi drops his hand from your shoulder. He re-draws his secondary blade and replies, “I saw your horse, and then Pieck appeared a minute later and brought our patrol.”

Another screech rings through the air and he sharply looks away from you and calls out, “Wait here, get down and hide somewhere!” Then, he’s gone, heading to where the cry came from. You could see several of the bandits were fleeing, leaving their horses and weapons as they ran for their lives.

Levi and the rest of his patrol were finishing off the few that remained, with Annie and Pieck joining them. You were about to collapse to the ground when you caught sight of something glinting through the trees. After a moment of realization, you recognize it as the royal insignia on a soldier’s breastplate.

You stumble forward as you call out to the fallen soldier, “Hey! Are you okay?” You don’t get a response as you trip through the brush, eyes blurry with tears from the pain coursing through your body.

In an instant, your body seems to come alive as you recognize the soldier. Rico Barht, one of your father’s guards. Rico was gushing blood from his thigh, where a nasty arrowhead had dug itself into the flesh. His upper body was drenched in blood from slash wounds on his chest and arms, oozing onto the soil beneath the two of you.

“Oh my gosh, Rico!” you blurt out in recognition as you lunge forward, your hands coming up to cup his face. He was just barely breathing and his hazel-colored eyes were half-lidded, unfocused.

A sob escapes you and you exclaim again, “Rico, hold on,” you look around for a second and then yell, “I need help over here!” You turn to face Rico again, slightly shaking him as you try to get him to focus on you, “Rico, Rico, hey, it’s me, (Y/n). We’re going to get you all fixed up, okay?”

A weak garble comes from his lips and that’s when you see it - a clean slice through across his throat. You immediately move to put pressure on it, but your hands keep slipping from the blood that is rushing out of his jugular.

“No. No, Rico come on, no no no no,” you rush out as you see his eyes fix and dilate. The blood continues to flow from his neck, and then you feel him take a breath. Then, all is still.

You can hear the fading cries of the bandits, and the forest rustling before it’s silent again. Sobs wrack your body, ripping your throat apart from the inside out. You let the tears fall as you clutch tightly onto the fallen soldier, praying that his soul leaves this cruel and unkind world behind.

You are so distraught you don’t hear your name being called from where Levi had left you. “Princess Y/n?” the call comes, and then again, this time with more intensity, “Y/n?! Y/n, where are you?!” You can hear the panic growing in the voice, but there is no air left in your lungs to reply as another whimper leaves your lips.

The person calling for you hears your cry, rushing down the dirt path that you had taken to find Rico. “Y/n, there you a-”, the voice starts but then abruptly stops. You turn to face the oncomer, who through your fuzzy vision determines is Levi.

He turns back towards the group and orders, “I need medical supplies over here, now!” Levi places his hand on your shoulder, trying to pull you out of the way so he can help, but you don’t budge, “He’s already gone.”

You can’t say anymore, and you bring your hands up to try to wipe the tears away from your eyes. Instead, you end up smearing Rico’s blood all over your cheeks. You don’t seem to notice, but Levi does.

His silver gaze widens as he sees the blood coating your hands and he rushes, “You’re injured, we need to get you medical equipment now.” He turns over his shoulder and shouts again, “Where the hell is that med kit?!” When his eyes meet yours, you simply shake your head.

“It’s not mine,” you whisper, sniffling, “I tried to- I tried to save Rico. But I couldn’t…” your voice trails off as a fresh wave of tears washes over you. Levi doesn’t say anything for a moment, a look of sorrow and realization covering his bloodied features.

You hadn’t ever seen someone die before.

It wasn’t something Levi thought of often. Living on the streets, defending innocent lives, death was so common he didn’t think twice about it. But you? A princess who barely could fight, holding a soldier as he died? He couldn’t imagine what it was like.

The two of you are interrupted as Pieck appears behind Levi and states, “We don’t have any more med kits, the soldiers in critical condition have already been sent back to the palace.” Her gaze flits from Levi to you, to the body of Rico behind you.

She opens her mouth to call for help, but she catches the glint in Levi’s eyes, and she understands. Pieck swallows thickly and then says, “I’ll get some of the other guards to take care of this. You two should get back in case any of the bandits are lurking around.”

Levi nods in thanks before turning toward you and murmuring, “Let’s get you back to the castle.” You don’t say anything, finally quiet after exhausting yourself of tears. Levi offers his hand to you, the digits covered in blood and grime.

You don’t think twice, placing your own hand delicately in his, gripping on tight as you feel Rico’s blood press into Levi’s palm. He pulls you to your feet, steadying you before guiding you out of the brush and to where Annie had gathered your horses.

She was in good condition compared to you, only mildly dirty, and didn’t look injured. Her blue gaze meets Levi’s silver one, and they both give each other a nod of understanding. Without any words, Levi mounts his horse while Annie helps you onto Vairon, the mare slightly antsy from all the commotion.

Annie passes your reins to Levi, who says to you, “Just hold on, alright?” You sit deeper into your saddle, grabbing onto the horn before nodding to him.

The two of you set off for the castle, a harsh silence settling over the ride home. You couldn’t help replaying Rico’s death over and over again in your mind. The feeling of the blood spurting from his neck. The look in his eyes as he died. The way his chest stopped rising and falling and laid eternally still.

You don’t even realize that you’ve made it back to the palace until you see Levi standing next to your left stirrup, offering you a hand to get down. Time and space seem altered as you make your way from the stables back to your room, trying to avoid any and all eyes on you.

You were a sight to see: face and hands covered in blood, your jacket ripped and your arm bleeding, dirt covering your clothes, and a distant look in your eye.

Levi stops you just outside of your door, his gaze trying to peer into your own troubled (colored) one. For the first time, Levi can’t tell what you’re thinking, and in a way… it almost scares him.

“Y/n- ”, he starts but is stopped when you cut him off and robotically state, “Thank you,” and then disappear into your room without another word. The door clicks shut with a small gust of wind, leaving a disheveled Levi outside with a look of surprise on his face.

He stares at the door for a moment, wondering whether or not he should go after you or send someone to help, but then he thinks better of it and heads towards the king’s chambers to inform him of the raid.

---

It was the day following the bandit attack, and you had two guards following you on your heels. Bertholdt and Colt were both on edge, you could tell. You know they weren’t quite as experienced, and that they knew you had seen something… dark, yesterday.

The two of them don’t say a word, though, and follow quietly behind you as you make your way towards one of the sitting gardens within the palace. You had gotten cleaned up, your skin washed from any traces of blood and dirt, but you couldn’t help but feel like Rico’s blood coated your body.

You felt like red was covering you, smothering the fine lace of your light blue dress. But it wasn’t. So you kept quiet and walked, trying to clear the encroaching feelings and thoughts from your mind and body.

You find yourself slowing near a white rose bush, and you gaze upon the seemingly perfect flowers for a moment before muttering, “Isn’t it funny how this flower can grow so perfectly? Can live a life so pure?”

Colt and Bertholt stop behind you, giving each other inquisitive looks but not answering you. You don’t give them a moment to speak as you continue, “These flowers can stay here, in this garden, safe from the freezing temperature of the winter outside. They don’t ever have to die because they are safe, protected here.”

You turn to face your guards, a far-off, distant look in your eye as you mumble, “They don’t ever have to experience death, only the rebirth of new life.” A tear falls quickly from your eye, sliding down your cheek and onto the ground next to your heel-clad shoe.

Without another word, you turn on your heel and continue through the garden, solemn.

Your day is slow, and you can’t battle the thoughts that seem to torture you every waking moment. The moment you are released from your duties for the day, you set your sights on a glow in the middle of the darkness. The forge.

You hadn’t spent time in the smoked and charred room since Levi had taken you on as an apprentice. Typically you were so exhausted that you would just go to your room to clean up and fix up your armor and blades.

But tonight, you couldn’t stand looking at the walls in your room, or the pages of your favorite book that you could get so easily lost in. No, tonight, you needed to get out and get away from sitting and doing nothing.

So, you find yourself in the corner of the forge near the hearth, quietly stoking the fire, lost in thought. You thought about trying to find a blade to sharpen, or some armor that needed polished, but your feet seemed glued to the dirt floor next to the growing flames.

Deep marigold mixed with tawny and carmine, forming an intricate dance as you scoped the flames, looking for something. Maybe it was so that you could catch a sight of the soft sapphire and indigo licks that seeped in and out of the rusty haze. Maybe it was so that you could leave the thoughts of the bloody bandits out of your mind. Maybe you just wanted to forget the sting on your arm as your heart shattered while Rico’s life slipped away from your fingers.

Or maybe it was to forget the relief you felt when Levi’s gaze found you in your utter panic. The peace that streamlined through your body when you could see concern etched on his features. The comfort you found when he placed his hand on your arm, asking if you were alright.

You shut your eyes as the thoughts berated you, one after the other. You could hardly stand them, all you wanted was one moment of silence from your mind. In the haze of your head, you don’t notice the lithe figure that slips into the forge room behind you.

The figure catches sight of you curled up next to the hearth, sitting on the dirt. You were wearing what he could only imagine was an expensive, imported dress, but here you were, sitting on the floor. Dust and ash lay on your lap and the edge of your hem, but it didn’t seem to bother you one bit.

Levi set his gear down as quietly as he could on the table near the door, mentally battling with himself on whether he should leave or not. Just as he takes a step back, the fire cracks, breaking your train of thought, and the angle of your gaze changes to catch him red-handed.

Levi could curse under his breath, but he stayed silent before dropping into a respectful bow and murmuring, “Princess.” Your (colored) orbs are tinted copper in the light of the forge, but they widen as they recognize who was before you.

In a moment, you try to scramble to your feet, but Levi cuts in, “No, no, please, stay where you are. I was going to clean my gear, but I can find somewhere else.” He straightens up from his bow, his gloved hand reaching for his gear before he hears your voice.

“Please stay,” your voice practically croaks out, “Please?” The pain in your voice immediately catches Levi’s attention, and he can feel his resolve crumbling when he sees the wet glimmer in your eyes. He drops his hand from his gear, instead plucking his leather gloves off and removing the rest of his bulky gear.

Levi makes his way over to you, feeling your searing gaze on his every movement. He chooses to sit on the opposite side of the hearth from you, giving him a good look at your tear-stained cheeks. The clear look of distress tugs on his heartstrings in a way that confuses him.

What was that for? He’s just here to make sure you’re okay. You’re here all alone with no one to protect you.

At least, that’s what he told himself. He clears his throat, pushing the thoughts away as he asks, “Are you alright, princess?” You roll your eyes and sniffle, uttering, “Please just call me Y/n. And-” you pause, rubbing at your nose before sighing, “I don’t know.”

You can feel Levi’s watchful gaze on you, but you choose to gaze deeper and deeper into the flames. It’s silent between the two of you, and you think that you might have said something wrong. Levi blinks slowly, thoughtfully, and then replies, “It’s okay, you know.”

This catches your attention, and you turn your cheek toward him, catching sight of the meaning of his silver gaze. He continues, “It’s okay, to feel the way you feel. It’s not an easy thing to deal with.”

You want to brush him off and defend the soft and broken part of your heart, but you realize that Levi saw straight through your uncertainty. You open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Levi cocks his head slightly, his gaze burning into you like the heat wafting into your sides from the fire.

You swallow thickly, a dry and humorless chuckle falling from your lips as you manage, “It’s such a natural thing, yet all I can do is replay that moment over and over again, wishing there was something else I could do to save him.” “There wasn’t,” the instant reply comes.

Levi hadn’t taken his eyes off of you once, and you meet his gaze with a furrow in your brow as you fight off an incoming wave of sadness. “There wasn’t,” he repeats, softer this time, “That soldier was lucky to have you in his last moments, Y/n. At his end, he knew nothing else other than someone cared for his life.”

He finally tears his eyes away and he mutters, “And that can mean a lot to someone.” You take in Levi’s appearance at that moment. This… interesting, to say the least, soldier, sitting on the ground with a crying princess, talking about death. It was almost funny, the way it seemed like everything to you, but just another burden to carry for him.

In a bold move, you reach forward, your fingers gently resting on top of his own hand as you question, “How do you deal with death, Levi?” You shuffle your feet ever so slightly to get more comfortable, waiting for him to pull away at any moment.

Instead, he flips his hand over so that your digits rest in his palm, and looking at your hands he replies, “I remember them.” He glances up at you through his darkened lashes and when he sees the confused look on your face he elaborates, “When they were normal, healthy, alive. I remember whenever they smiled or laughed. When they weren’t sick or dying.”

You nod delicately, taking in the deep timbre of his voice and the emotion that it carries. You reply, “But what if I don’t have those memories? I only saw Rico in passing a handful of times, I barely knew his name.”

Levi squeezes your hand and states, “You carry on with your life, living for him. Enjoying each moment so that his life doesn’t go to waste.” You give the dark-haired male a saddened smile and nod, squeezing his hand back when your voice seems to fail.

Thank you.

---

The chill of winter slides away with the onset of a warming spring, and things have been becoming more normal. You and Levi finally resumed training once you seemed to cope with the loss of Rico.

You were behind, yes, but doing everything in your power to catch up but with one major caveat. Your 18th birthday was just around the corner. Your days were full of meetings, ballroom preparations, lessons, training, and sword practice. There had hardly been any downtime to relax or breathe, and everything was slowly becoming overwhelming,

Levi was accommodating though, with practices starting later and later in the evening. You had started to learn and understand this raven-haired boy better, with his insomniac-like tendencies, and his peculiar and dry sense of humor.

You liked spending time with him.

To your benefit, Levi was a surprisingly good teacher, and even though most nights you were tired and fed up, Levi could handle your banter. He had a sharp tongue, which kept your focus on getting better, but he was never too harsh.

Whenever he was unable to help you, Annie or Pieck picked up the slack to be your punching bag or let you try out a new combination on them. But with months of training under your belt, you were becoming an increasingly lethal opponent.

One evening you were getting ready to head down to the training yard to practice with Levi, fixing your gauntlets and securing your sword as you rushed to get ready. It was the night before your 18th birthday, and your mother insisted on planning a huge ball for your coming of age.

Just as you were putting the finishing touches on your outfit, there was a knock on your door. Latching onto the handle, you open it to see Levi, who always comes by your room before practice. There was one glaring difference that caught your eye, shock covering your features as your gaze took him in.

He typically donned his plain, smooth metal practice gear when training with you, but instead, Levi was covered in new, glimmering plates of intricate armor. The smooth breastplate that once was blank and had no symbol, was now textured metal lined with gold and donned the royal insignia on it. His expression was no different than normal, he just wore his usual, stoic frown.

Your eyes widen at the realization of his upgraded armor and you can’t help the words that burst from your mouth, “You’ve made it into the guard?!” It comes out as an almost-shout, which catches Levi’s attention.

His silvery gaze widens ever-so-slightly at your realization, and he shuffles on his feet before he gives you a slow nod. He straightens up for a moment before motioning to the hallway outside of your room and replies, “Let’s go for a walk, princess.”

Your mouth is still parted open in surprise, and your hands have come to interlock in front of your chest, but you do as he requests and move to walk side-by-side with him down the hallway. Your footsteps fall in sync out of habit and you gasp at him again and say, “I didn’t know you were getting knighted today, you should have told me!”

The new knight just shrugs as if it made no difference to him, folding his arms behind his back in thought. He briefly looked to the ground and his black locks moved to fall over his angled cheekbones.

You playfully hip-bump him lightly, trying to reinforce your point. On the rare occasion he wasn’t paying attention, or he was just letting you think that, he stumbles forward a little bit. His arms come down to rest at his sides again and he looks over at you, slightly offended.

Giggles fall from your lips at his reaction and you chuckle out, “I’m serious! That's such a huge deal and you've only been here for a few months.” A soft, barely noticeable flush covers Levi’s cheeks, and he’s thankful that you don’t seem to see it.

He looks directly in front of you two and replies, “I’m doing my best to protect the kingdom.” You scoff and roll your eyes before retorting, “Puh-lease, you do your own thing without regard for anyone. That’s how you are, Levi.”

Levi’s eyes narrow as he turns to face you and just as he opens his mouth to respond you cut in, “I don’t even know if I can count your friends on the one hand.” You give him a look that says, “You know I’m right,” and he just rolls his eyes and groans, “It’s not like you’re much better, you only hang out with your guards and your maids.”

The playful banter between the two of you continues as you walk the cascading hallways of the castle. The intricate paintings hanging on the walls start to catch the rays of the glowing candlelight and the setting sun.

Before you know it, Levi is steering you into one of the courtyards - Josephina’s Garden Hall. You smile softly at the fond memory of your first-ever training session in this very garden. As you look around, there is not a single person around.

The thought crosses your mind that people are preparing for your birthday, which is just around the corner. Your mother was practically bursting at the seams to host a ball in the largest ballroom of the castle, so all energy was put towards the festivities.

Of course, there were still guards and knights littering the perimeter, but there were fewer stationed around unoccupied areas to focus on decorating or protecting the exterior of the castle.

Levi pulls ahead of you by just a stride, heading toward one of the walls that is adjacent to one of your favorite rose gardens. One of the bushes is coated in giant red blooms, and just as you are about to say how beautiful they are, Levi reaches for something behind one of the flowers.

“What are you-” you start but are interrupted when you catch sight of what he was grabbing. It was a brand new, dark leather sheath with a sword in it. A sheath with your initials on it.

You quickly glance from Levi to the sheathed blade and back again. He returns your gaze with a strange intensity you’ve only ever seen once from him, and it makes you want to almost squirm. It felt like he was seeing through and into you, and it made your heart flutter in your chest in a way you never experienced.

“Happy birthday, princess,” Levi whispers, handing you the darkened leather. Your lips are parted in complete surprise as you accept it from him, your eyes raking over the intricacy of the stitching of your initials.

You don’t waste another moment before grabbing onto the hilt of the sword, drawing it firmly out of the sheath. The last of the sun’s rays catch the unmarked length of the blade, making it glow like an ember burning in the hottest of fires.

Your mouth had fallen open in true admiration and shock at this point, and you turned to Levi in complete wonder and appreciation. You swallow thickly and stutter out, “I, I can’t accept this, Levi,” dropping the sword back into the sheath and offering it back to him.

The dark-haired man simply shakes his head and states, “You deserve that blade, princess. You’ve worked very hard, and while you still have a lot to learn, you need more than a wooden practice sword or dull blade to protect yourself.”

You can’t help the huge smile that rushes to your face, and a wave of excitement takes over you. In a split second, you lunge forward toward Levi, crushing him into a huge hug.

He once again isn’t fast enough to react, and he’d never admit it, but he was enraptured at the sight of you: your hair falling perfectly around your face, the light of the sun reflecting the pure joy in your eyes, the strength you exuded as you held your new blade… you were stunning.

Levi struggles against you for a second, afraid someone would think he was taking advantage of you, alone like this, but after a moment, softens into your embrace and slowly pats you on the back.

You pull away from the hug as a stray tear runs down your cheek. You sniffle as you let out an embarrassed laugh, wiping at the tear as you gush, “I apologize, I didn’t mean to get so emotional. This is such a beautiful gift, Levi. I don’t even know how to properly thank you.”

Levi lets a hint of a smile rest on his lips, and his eyebrows softening ever so slightly as he murmurs, “You don’t need to thank me for anything. I should be thanking you for giving me a place here at the palace, and I apologize for being so rude when I first arrived.”

You wave your hand dismissively at him before laughing, “It’s alright, you were the first and only person to openly challenge me like that, and I needed that reality check.”

The two of you stand in silence for a moment, close to one another but not quite touching. You shuffle and glance at your feet and at your hand holding your new blade. You mumble, “There’s something I want to ask you, Levi.”

He quirks an eyebrow in interest at your sudden shift in tone but he motions for you to go on with a gentle nod. You sigh before a saddened smile covers your face, the dying rays of the sun just catching the last of your drying tears.

“Annie is leaving the guard after my birthday celebration is over,” you explain, “She wants to live a life with her father in the country, and the king has arranged for her to leave. That leaves a gap in my defense, and while I’m much more capable of defending myself, I’m missing a knight-” “I’ll do it.”

Levi’s voice comes out soft and low, and it catches you off guard at how much emotion it seems to hold. “I’ll join your personal guard if that is what you wish, princess. Just say the word and that will be my next mission in life.”

You blink up at him, your smile shifting from one of sadness to one of thanks, “Please, would you join my personal guard?” Levi bows to you and utters quietly under his breath, so quiet you don’t hear him, “As you wish.”

When he stands up straight, you give him a slight bow and the two of you stop for a moment, silently regarding the other. A moment passes and you give him an almost cheeky smile before turning away, and without hesitation, Levi follows you.

---

You see, that was the start of a beautiful friendship between you and the dark-haired man. It was built on long days of sparring, bickering, and slowly but surely, tolerating each other. On the day of your 18th birthday, Levi was appointed to your guard and soon began taking his patrols with Pieck, swapping in and out with Porco, Reiner, and the other guards who had also recently been knighted.

Now officially a knight, it was harder to get training practices in, but whenever it was his shift to watch over you, the two of you found yourselves in the training grounds. The training sessions continued for months, your sword skills becoming more and more refined.

Before you knew it, a year or two seemed to slip by like the finest silk, and your friendship with Levi bloomed into something tried, true, and trustworthy. He was always there when you needed him to be, a reliable soldier and a trusted friend.

You weren’t blind to how the two of you grew up, Levi got slightly taller and thicker with muscle. No matter the day, he always, always, always got stronger. You, on the other hand, became more elegant and stronger in your own ways. You became physically stronger, yes, but you found your voice and learned how to rule and talk to your subjects while remaining kind as you always had been.

Over time, Levi had learned your ways rather quickly. The time you woke up. How long it took you to roll out of bed. Just how you liked your morning coffee or tea. It seemed so domestic every morning whenever he’d knock on your door to see if you were awake or not.

A fondness developed between the two of you for those easy morning conversations, not that either of you would admit it. While the two of you constantly bickered and playfully argued, Levi saw through the facade and to the sweet and tender side of you.

It was moments when you would kindly thank your maids, or encourage your younger siblings. He saw the way you treated the guests who would visit from overseas, and he found a deep respect for you.

And although you had many personal guards, Levi ended up being the one that stuck by you the most often, often by your parent's wishes. With Levi in the guard and not out protecting the towns surrounding the palace, crime rates had increased. And so, the king and queen wanted you to be the safest you could, with the best protection around.

---

On a cool winter morning, with snow glistening on the windowsill, you had just gotten dressed and were preparing for a meeting with your parents. They had found someone they thought would be a lovely suitor for you, as you were now old enough to be betrothed to someone of equally high status.

A soft knock on your door catches your attention, and you fumble with your earrings as you call, “Just a moment!” But the door opens anyway, and in comes Levi, a scowl covering his face.

Yet when his eyes land on you, fixing your earring in a slight panic, his eyes soften and he mutters, “It’s just me, relax.”

His silvery eyes seem to linger, though. They take in the gentle curve of your cheek dusted with blush, then fixate on the necklace hanging around your neck.

Levi is no fool. He has come to know you over the years, and he knows you are one of the most beautiful women he has ever seen. Of course you were, you’re a princess.

He has to shake his head slightly to clear his thoughts before he coughs once to clear his throat. Levi glances up at you and states, “It’s almost time for your meeting with the king and queen, Y/n.”

You give him a warm smile and ask, “Walk with me?” Levi offers you his arm in his classic fashion, and you take hold of his arm like you always did.

Levi guides you out of your room and down the familiar hallway. The arches were cast in a soft, ethereal glow, the snow from the courtyard reflecting the light brightly. Your steps land in sync and quietly echo as the two of you silently move toward the meeting halls.

You sigh and glance down at the floor as you mumble, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this, Levi. My parents have spent so long trying to find me a suitor, but I’ve disliked all of them. I’m afraid they’re running out of patience, or that I’m not worthy to be a good wife.”

Levi stops in his tracks at your words, a bored and stern look on his face. He pinches the bridge of his nose with his free hand before running it through his black locks and saying, “Are you kidding me, Y/n? You are a beautiful, strong, and intelligent princess. You are practically the epitome of a queen and wife, and if anything, I think you scare a lot of your suitors off because of that.”

Surprise floods over you, and the words of praise coming from Levi seem to float around in your mind. Beautiful? Strong? Smart? He thinks I’m beautiful?

But Levi doesn’t give you any more time to think. He continues walking, dragging you along as he finishes, “Just because you haven’t found the right man for you yet, doesn’t mean that you won’t find him. He might be the most surprising person you’ll ever meet.”

You stay quiet at that, walking silently next to your knight and trying to process his words. And before you know it, you have made it to the meeting room where you knew your parents and a suitor would be waiting.

Levi slowly releases your grip, letting his hand slide down your arm before grasping your palm. He gives your hand a gentle and encouraging squeeze before releasing it, and walking up to the large door.

He hits the knocker three times to signal your arrival, and just a moment later two butlers open the door from the inside, ushering the two of you in.

Just as you expected, your mother and father were sitting at the head of the table, and at your entrance into the room, all eyes were set on you and Levi. You are dressed to perfection, regarding the room with elegance and grace, taking in the setup and the profile of the room and the suitor.

The tall, blonde gentleman stands up and bows before you can speak and states, “Good morning, princess.”

You swallow deeply and smile as you curtesy and reply, “Good morning, sir.” You take your seat next to your mother, and you can feel Levi’s steps stiffen as he walks behind you, pulls your chair out for you, and gets you settled in.

He ends up standing a chair or two down in the corner of the room, watching and waiting as he was trained. Your eyes flash towards your parents in a sweet greeting before you take in the appearance of the suitor.

The man was tall. Very tall. He had longer blonde hair and just a small bit of facial hair. He wore very fine clothing, embroidered with intricate details, and obviously fitted by a professional tailor.

The potential suitor bows again and states, “I appreciate your time this morning, Princess Y/n, my name is Viscount Miche Zacharius.”

At the sound of his name, you could hear Levi’s blade scraping against the wall ever so slightly. You shoot him a concerned glance, but all you can see is a hardened look on Levi’s face.

He looked… mad?

You turn back to Miche, and with a practiced smile you reply, “It’s wonderful to meet with you this morning, my lord.” The blonde smiles in response, and before he can speak again, the king cuts in, “Tell us about your kingdom, Miche. Y/n would love to hear about your homeland.”

Your teeth grit together as your father speaks for you, but you keep the practiced smile plastered on your face as you watch Miche chuckle slightly nervously, but he nods.

Seconds fade into minutes, and minutes lead onto an hour as Miche, your father, mother, and occasionally you, make conversation. You could tell Miche was a nice man with good morals, but there was something lacking in the conversation that kept you jumping for joy.

However, your mother and father thought the two of you kicked things off well, even considering the fact they hardly let you talk to the man. Your mother was so enthralled with the idea of you and Miche that she suggested a ball to be hosted for the two of you to get to know one another better - an offer your father couldn’t refuse. And neither could you.

“What a grand idea!” Miche exclaims, standing up to shake your father’s hand, “Do let me know of the details as soon as you get it planned.” He then turns to you, excitedly and says, softer, “I do hope you’ll save me some spaces on your dance card, princess.”

You giggle uncertainly and reply, “Of course, my lord.” At that, Miche takes your hand, gently, and presses a chaste kiss to your knuckles before giving you a bow and leaving the room, your father a pace behind him.

Your mother is practically swooning at how sweet the man seems to be, but you are quite taken aback by his forwardness. You hear metal scrape against the wall again, and out of the corner of your eye, you can see a firm frown etched on Levi’s features.

He was pissed.

The walk back to your room is quiet and tense, with no words passing between the two of you. You could have practically screamed in frustration when your door finally latched closed and it was just you and Levi on the other side.

“Who does he think he is?!” you immediately lament, whipping around the face of Levi, who’s already rubbing at his face in frustration. In response, he just groans, “I think he’s the most bold one yet. You have to dance with that guy?”

You pause and look Levi in the eye before groaning, flopping down onto your bed like a little girl. Levi folds his arms across his chest and shrugs, “At least he’s polite?” You harshly look over at him, a pout on your lips.

“He’s like talking to a tree that never became a book. He just kept growing,” you manage to mumble around the sheets of your bed. Levi scoffs at your words before leaning back against the door and snaps back, “The guy sure is full of himself. No wonder it’s taken him this long to find a wife.”

You feel a pang run through you and you sit up from your bed, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “I’ve been looking for a suitor for a while too, Levi. Hopefully, I’m not full of myself. Or not too picky.” Your hands find themselves carding together as you look down at them, and you miss the dark-haired knight’s expression change.

The furrow in his brow softens and he pushes off the wall to stand in front of you. He takes a breath as he stops in front of you and starts, “Y/n, I-” But you beat him to it, “What if I never find love, Levi?” You look up to meet his silver gaze at that moment, tears darkening your lashes.

Levi sighs, letting the air flow freely out of his nose as he sits down next to you on your bed, quiet. Then, he meets your gaze once again and he murmurs, “You will, Y/n/n. You will.”

You smile sadly at him, and he reaches his hand toward your face to tuck an unruly piece of hair out of your face. Just before his hand can make contact with your skin, there is a knock at the door.

The moment is gone in a flash, and Levi quickly moves to stand post by the doors to your balcony and you wipe under your eyes. You guiltily look at Levi, who has gone back to his classic stoic look, staring straight ahead.

Another pang of guilt runs through you as you tear your eyes away from his frame, instead focusing on the person on the other side of your door. You take a breath and then call, “Come in!” Then, a head of blonde hair appears and you recognize the guard as Reiner.

“I was told I might find you here,” he says with a bow, “I was sent to relieve Levi from duty for a little while.” Reiner props the door open a little further before stepping into the room, and Levi turns to regard his fellow soldier with a respectful nod.

Before he leaves the room, the dark-haired man faces you and gives you a bow with a simple, “Good day, princess.” Before you know it, he’s gone, and it’s just you and Reiner left in the silence of the room.

---

Over the next couple of days, you didn’t see much of Levi. You thought it slightly odd, but you figured he was on a personal quest for your father or taking some personal days. Eventually, when you were trying to find him so you could spar a little, he couldn’t be found anywhere.

You stopped a maid who had brought fresh linens for your bed and asked, “Have you seen a short, dark-haired knight recently? He goes by the name Levi, I haven’t seen him in a while.” The maid pauses in thought and then replies, “I do think I recall a dark-haired soldier turning up in the infirmary a few days ago. I can check to see if that is who you are talking about.”

You shake your head and quip, “There will be no need for that, I will make my way there now.” Without another moment’s notice, you turn and slide out of your room, (colored) gaze set on finding the infirmary.

Typically, you didn’t spend much time in the infirmary because you were royalty and you had your own personal staff. However, you occasionally would pick up small supplies after training if you had a small cut or brush burn from the grass.

It was fairly quiet as you slipped into the entrance of the sick bay, with no doctors or nurses in sight. You take a deep breath as you peer around the few rooms that make up the infirmary, making your way as silently as you can so as to not disturb anyone resting.

Just as you make it to the last room, you can hear coughing on the other side. You just barely peer through the door when you catch sight of a familiar black head of hair. Levi.

You push the door open and remark, “I wondered where you disappeared to, soldier.” Levi’s head immediately snaps up to take in your frame entering his small room. He opens his mouth to answer you, but another coughing fit overtakes him.

You rush next to his side, finding a small cup of water on his bedside table. You offer him the cup, watching him soothe his irritated throat with a frown before handing the water back to you.

“It’s not what it looks like,” he grumbles out lowly, trying to avoid sputtering again. A giggle slides through your lips before you can stop it, and you bring a hand up to cover your smile when you catch sight of Levi’s annoyed gaze. It only makes you giggle harder, and you can see his displeased look ease a little at your laughter.

As you calm down, you manage to take a breath and smirk, “It looks like you’re sick to me, Levi.” The dark-haired knight just rolls his eyes, his hands fiddling with the blanket on his lap to pull it up higher on his waist.

“It’s nothing,” he grumbles out again, “The king and queen forced me to come down here so I can “recover as fast as possible” or something.” You nod knowingly with a gentle smile on your face, saying, “I can imagine they only had the best intentions and wanted to see you well before the suitor’s ball tonight.”

He groans and rubs at his flushed face with one hand and mumbles through his night shirt’s sleeve, “Don’t remind me about that. I think standing there watching everyone dance and act so cheerful would kill me faster than any blade would.”

You scoff and roll your eyes at your best friend replying, “You are so dramatic!” But then a moment passes and you tuck a piece of hair behind your ear saying, “Actually, you’re probably right. My mother is going to have me hanging on every man’s arm within a thousand miles tonight.”

This time, Levi is the one to just barely crack a smile and he shrugs, “Who knows, you might actually enjoy the ball. There will be no lack of eligible suitors, and I can’t imagine all of them are complete imbeciles.”

His words get you to giggle again, and you nod along in agreement, your eyes trailing toward the clock on the wall. As the time on the clock registers in your mind, panic starts to set in and you scramble to your feet muttering, “Crap, crap, crap!”

Levi’s gaze follows yours and he realizes it too: you’re late for getting ready! You glance apologetically at Levi, who goes to swallow and then starts sputtering with more coughs.

He waves you off and manages to squawk out, “Go have fun, tell me all about it later.” You give him a grateful smile and over your shoulder you call out, “I will! Please try to feel better and get some rest!”

With one last glance over your shoulder, you set off toward your room to get ready for the ball. Your maids about mauled you when they finally managed to wrangle you into your ballgown and start to get you presentable for the public.

Since Levi was out sick, Reiner and Porco were assigned to watch over you for the evening. They follow closely as you make your way to the ballroom, greeting guests pleasantly and making your way to the heart of the festivities.

While the ballroom was decorated magnificently, the entire atmosphere felt slightly disappointing and moderate. There were many suitors around, none of which seemed to interest you. In the distance, you could see Miche talking with another tall blonde male, but you ducked behind a waiter to make your move toward the king and queen.

Your parents were talking with lords about their investments and businesses, and all you managed to understand was that they wanted money from the royals. You have to refrain from rolling your eyes, but you stand quietly and listen to the conversation come to a close.

Your mother turns to you, excitement written on her features as she hands you a piece of paper saying, “Here is your dancing card, dear! I’ve already done you the liberty of picking out which suitors to dance with based on their resumes. Have fun!”

She wraps the filled-out dancing card around your wrist, tying it neatly before giving you a giddy smile and pushing you toward the man whose name is first on the list. Miche Zacharius.

You groan internally as you make your way over to the tall man, who grows visibly interested as you break into his peripheral. He excuses himself from his conversation, bowing in front of you when he sees you stop in from of him.

“Princess Y/n,” he says, straightening up and catching the lustrious light in your eyes. You give him a shallow curtsey and reply, “Lord Miche, how lovely to see you this evening.” In the back of your head, you couldn’t help but wish you were anywhere else at this very moment.

Miche tips his head toward you and shrugs, “I think it is I who am the lucky one to be in your presence.” And as if on cue, the orchestra starts playing the next song, a waltz, to which Miche offers you his hand with a, “May I have this dance?”

You give him a tight-lipped smile and place your gloved hand in his own, allowing the tall blonde to escort you to the empty dance floor. He begins to move the two of you around the dance floor, carefully swinging you through the other couples who start dancing around you.

Miche smiles down at you and asks, “If I may ask, princess, how many children would you like to have one day?” It feels like the air is sucked out of your lungs as you give him a polite smile and respond, “Sorry, I’m trying to count my steps, perhaps we can discuss this later?”

He has the liberty to keep his mouth shut during the first dance, but once the two of you take a break and you look at your dance card, you can see your mother has booked him for the next four dances.

During those dances, Miche asks you too many questions, to which you politely respond. You tried to sound not too interested but also not too dry, simply polite. You were praying for when the fifth song would end, and you don’t think it could come soon enough.

The whole point of the ball was aggravating to you, and you couldn’t help but hate the evening as you were twirled from lord to lord. You wanted to slip out unnoticed, find a pint of wine or something of the like, and complain about all of it to Levi.

However, you manage to stick it out through the night, engaging in pointless conversation and dancing until you are about to roll your ankles. As the night wrapped up and your dancing card was completed, you scanned the crowd, your eyes landing on Porco and Reiner, who seemed to be arguing about which lady in waiting was the prettiest.

You scoff at the two knights, but with them distracted, it gives you the perfect opportunity to slip away. You take one more scan of the room before slowly backing out of one of the doorways. With no one’s eyes on you, you disappear from the ball without a trace.

You had your eyes set on one thing - go check on Levi and tell him about your endeavors that night. You weren’t able to find a bottle of wine to easily sneak out, but you did find a small plate of cheese that you grabbed on your way to the infirmary.

As you make your way back to Levi’s sick room, you can hear the sound of metal scraping. You raise an eyebrow at the noise, and as you poke your head into the small room, you can see the source.

There’s Levi, sharpening his blade in the middle of the night. You sigh and bring your hand up to knock on the wall to alert him of your arrival. His head snaps up quickly from his sword to your figure at his door, his body going tense in a moment.

When he realizes it's you, you can see him relax, but his gaze remains on you, fixed. You can’t quite place the look on his face, his eyes are wide and locked onto you, completely frozen. You duck under the sudden intensity in his gaze, murmuring, “I brought you some cheese from the ball.”

You walk into the room, the ruffles on the edge of your skirt rustling as you place the plate next to his water on the nightstand by his bed. Levi’s silver gaze follows your every movement, no words escaping him. You sit down in the chair next to his bed, grab a small piece of cheese, and pop it into your mouth with a huff.

You glance over to see Levi still staring at you while you chew, and suddenly you feel hot under his watchful gaze. You look down for a second and swallow before asking, “Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

A moment passes as you wait for his response, and it gives you a second to take in his condition. His usually pale cheeks were painted pink with a gentle flush and his skin was slightly shiny from sweat. He must have a bit of a fever, you think to yourself.

Levi swallows thickly as he looks at you, his mouth opening and closing once or twice with no words leaving them. Mistakenly, you think he can’t answer because his throat hurts and he needs water, so you burst out, “Let me get you something to drink!”

Your hand reaches to grab his cup of water, which seems to be empty. In a flash, Levi’s hand has wrapped around your wrist, his silver eyes never leaving your face. The quick movement startles you, which makes you drop the cup, a small amount of water falling onto the floor.

Levi’s sword clatters to the ground, which makes you flinch in surprise. You glance from the water pooling near your feet to the sword that landed on the opposite side of the bed and back to Levi.

Your mouth parts open in a stammer as you start, “Sorry, let me, uhm… let me grab a towel to clean this-” “You look beautiful,” he cuts in lowly. You raise your eyebrows in surprise at his comment, the words slowly registering in your head.

Once they do, you can feel butterflies erupt in your belly and you glance away from the dark-haired knight and roll your eyes playfully. “Oh hush, you’re just seeing things with your sickness.”

This seems to snap Levi out of his daze and he releases your wrist with a playful scoff of his own, “You wish, princess.” You smile at him, one that he knows is of thanks to his compliment. He clears his throat and questions, “How was the ball? It must not have been great if you are down here all ready.”

You lean down to pick up his cup off the wooden floor, a groan falling from your lips, “It was all crap, Levi. It was men who wanted money, men who wanted the crown, and men who wanted to dance. It was so annoying. ”

You straighten back up, placing the cup back on the table and skirting around the water on the ground. Levi chuckles at that, and he motions to the edge of his bed with his chin and says, “Tell me all about it.” A giggle falls from your lips as you move to sit near his feet and you reply, “As long as you’ll listen to me complain about how terrible of a dancer Miche is!”

The rest of the evening is peaceful compared to the stress of the ball, the two of you making fun of the suitors and princes from across the countryside. You don’t even realize how late the evening runs, but you do know that you aren’t ready for bed just quite yet.

---

A couple of days had passed since the suitor’s ball and Levi had been put down with his illness. Thankfully, after another day or two of rest, he seemed to turn for the better and was ready to get back to the service.

Just around 8 o'clock in the morning, just as he always would, Levi makes his way toward your bedroom, feeling energetic and recovered from being sick. He stops in front of the familiar and grandiose door, pausing in thought before knocking on the dark wood.

He waits for a minute or so, but he doesn’t hear any noise from the other side of the door. The dark-haired knight sighs in slight annoyance, it’s his first day back, after all, and you aren’t responding. Levi knocks again on the door, this time a little harder and with more urgency.

When he is once again met with silence, he takes it upon himself to call out, “Princess Y/n? Are you alright?” To anyone else, it may have sounded like he was just calling out to you, but between you and him, he knew there was worry in his voice.

His impatience seems to take over him, and Levi finds his fingers wrapping around the door handle and pushing it open. As he steps into your room, one he had been in many times, his steely gaze rakes across every detail he sees.

Your bed was empty and remade, so you weren’t asleep. The loveseat in the corner of your room where you typically sat and read was also void of your presence. Levi turned toward the bathroom that was connected to your room, but there was no sign of candlelight or movement.

A sigh falls from Levi’s parted lips in frustration, and he shuts your bedroom door behind him before stepping deeper into your personal space. He opens his mouth, about to call out for you again before he sees a figure moving in the walk-in closet behind your desk.

It’s you, thankfully, and Levi’s figure relaxes as he takes in the… interesting sight of you. You were shuffling out into the main space of your bedroom, your hands grabbing at the bodice of the dress, with a slightly irritable look on your face.

He almost cracks a smile as he watches you fumble and almost trip as you make your way up to him, but instead, he murmurs, “Well good morning to you, princess.” You give him a playful scowl and mutter, “Shut up, …and help me zip this please?”

At the end of your sentence, you swivel 180 degrees, showing him your half-exposed back, where you couldn’t quite finish zipping the dress up. You wait a moment and then rush out, “I don’t know where my maids are and I couldn’t find anyone else to help-”

“It’s alright,” Levi’s voice cuts in lowly, and you can hear him take a step toward you. This makes you relax, shuffling your hands to pick the dress up to the correct height to be comfortable.

However, with your back to Levi, you miss the complete and utter look of nervousness and awe on his face as his hands make contact with the soft skin on your back. His typically stoic resolve crumbles when his hands just barely begin to quiver as he grabs a hold of the fabric and begins to pull it taut.

Levi is silently cursing the heat that is rushing to his face, swirling in his chest, and giving him butterflies in his stomach. With pink dusting his nose and the close proximity to you, his magnificent best friend, he wasn’t sure what to feel. But, he pushes through, his hands grabbing onto your waist so the zipper would slide up the fabric with more ease.

You aren’t in much better condition than Levi, and you’re glad he can’t see your face. Heat is coursing through your veins, but his warm touch has chills running up and down your spine. A shuddery breath escapes you as you feel his palm flatten against your waist, and you have to will yourself to be calm as he works on zipping you in.

His fingers work in good time, making sure the intricacies of the dress are not damaged or pulled on as he zips the dress up closer to your neck. At the top of the zipper, there is a small clasp to keep it from pulling apart, and he brings both hands up to clasp it.

You feel his warm breath on your neck, and you can feel goosebumps rising on your skin from the small distance between the two of you. It’s completely silent between the two of you as he takes a minute step backward, but it’s enough for you to feel like you can breathe.

The air is thick, heavy almost. There was tension, and you aren’t quite sure where it originated from. You can’t help but be disappointed when his warm hands leave your waist, and you try to fight down the butterflies in your belly as your brain processes his touch.

You liked it. No, you needed more of it.

What? How could you think that? Levi was your… what was Levi?

As you turn around to face him, you give him an uncertain and slightly shy smile and whisper, “Thank you.” Levi holds your (colored) gaze, looking deeply into what could almost be his favorite color, and gives you a subtle nod.

He was just your personal knight, right? He was your best friend, right? …You had no idea.

You take a shuddery breath and start, “Levi, there’s something I-” but you are interrupted by a flock of maids bursting into your room. You jump away from Levi, who also takes a few steps backward and moves to stand near the door.

“We are so sorry, Princess Y/n, for being late! We knocked on the door several times but we did not hear an answer,” one of the older maids says, curtsying low in front of you. You turn to face her and you give her a tight-lipped smile and reply, “It is quite alright, Marie.”

The maid stands up and urges, “You must not be late for your foreign policies lecture, the queen will have my head if you are not on time!” You give her a nod and looking over her shoulder to Levi, you ask, “Walk with me?”

The maids clear out of the way, dispersing as quickly as they came. Levi clears the doorway for you, letting you lead the way down the hall. It was quiet for a moment before the dark-haired knight cleared his throat and murmured, “You were saying?”

“It was nothing,” you rush out, wringing your hands together in a nervous fashion. Silence falls between the two of you again, and you direct your vision to the many doors and paintings you pass on the way to the lecture hall.

It’s an uncomfortable silence, so you try to break it with a joke, “I was surprised you weren’t earlier than you were this morning, seeing as it is your first day back since your illness.” Levi scoffs at your remark and refutes, “I do believe it was you who was up earlier than normal, I knocked on your door precisely at 8 o’clock.”

You giggle at this, your hands still fiddling with one another as the pair of you glide down the hallway. The banter picks up between the two of you as normal, but Levi couldn’t help but feel like there was something you may have been hiding from him.

However, he brushes it off and tries to think nothing of it while he stands guard outside of your lecture hall. He tries to focus on getting back into work and pushes the feeling of your skin and body out of his mind.

---

It had been a few days since the zipper incident and the king and queen announced that they wanted to host a festival in the town square with the spring season ending and merging into a beautiful, warm summer.

For you, it was one of your favorite times of the year, since you got the chance to meet with the children of the town. You loved playing with the children, encouraging their interests, and not letting them give up on their hopes and dreams.

You adored events like this, so it was only natural that you were getting dolled up to meet with the people of your home. The festival typically hosted live music from the best musicians around, food brought from all over the country, and the town square decorated to the top for the best area to go dancing.

You spent most of the morning getting ready for the festival. You had to make sure your dress was absolutely perfect - not too extravagant, but still dressy enough for everyone to recognize you as the princess. Then, you put the finishing touches to your makeup before Levi came knocking on your door around noon.

“Are you ready?” he asks as he guides you through the castle and out through the gates. You sigh dreamily before answering, “I believe so. This is one of my favorite times of the year, after all.”

The two of you made your way down to the town just outside the palace, where people were bustling about, trying to finalize the touches to their stalls. Children were laughing and playing, running around with yellow and red streamers in their hands.

Levi guides you around them, leading you toward the heart of the festival, and your favorite place to be: the dance floor. There were even more children here, and the orchestra was just set off the to side of the tiled area, a joyful tune bouncing off of their strings.

You leave Levi’s side to join them, falling in with the children to dance and let loose. The daytime was made for the children during the festival, and then when the stars would come out and the sun sank below the horizon, the parents would enjoy themselves.

You sing and dance with the children for what seems like hours to Levi, but he doesn’t mind as he stands guard on the edge of the town square. He could easily see you but also maintain a visual around the dance area, his silver gaze on the lookout for any potential intruders.

The songs seem to blend together until a small brown-haired boy grabs onto your right hand. He tugged on your fingers for a moment and asked, “May I dance with you, Princess Y/n?” Your heart feels like it’s about to burst with the sweetness from the young boy, and you give him a sweet smile and a nod.

“Lead the way, good sir!” you chuckle out as you motion to the opening dance floor. Your sage green and dark brown colored skirts ruffle as you are led onto the floor by the bouncing young boy, and you can’t help but giggle as other young girls and boys join you in the middle of the town square.

You can hear the live orchestra count off, and the little boy offers you his other hand to dance, and with a genuine smile, you accept. Since the boy was maybe 8 years old, you had to lean down to hold both of his hands, but he didn’t seem to mind as he began to spin and twirl you around to the music.

While slightly clumsy and uncoordinated in his movements, you didn’t mind the boy's antics, giggling and laughing as the boy spun you, and you spun him. The other children were no different, gleefully dancing the night away.

You didn’t seem to notice Levi’s silver gaze watching you sharply, noting how you giggled each time the boy spun you or the way your eyes lit up when you got mixed up in all of the children dancing. To the dark-haired knight, you looked perfect at that moment.

With the afternoon sun’s warm rays casting down on you, you were simply golden. The festival's market stalls with red and yellow banners donning the kingdom’s insignia were paled in comparison to you. Although you were wearing a more simple gown for the festivities, you shone brighter than any of the lanterns or rays from the sun.

Levi couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. To put it simply, you looked gorgeous. Not just in the way that you were dressed and styled, but in the way that true joy brings out the best in someone. He could feel how raw your emotions were as you danced, and he couldn’t help but wish he was the one swinging you around instead.

Just as the upbeat song ended, Levi felt a passive tap on his side. He instinctively reached for the hilt of his sword, but when he looked to see what had bumped him, he immediately stopped.

There, looking up at him, was a little girl no older than 3 or 4 years old. She had dark, black curls falling around her face, and her bright blue eyes were wide as she stared up at the knight. The little girl taps again on his hand, slightly bouncing as she giggles, “Dance, dance!”

Little did Levi know, you had stopped dancing to catch your breath and talk to him, but you ceased your movements when you saw the little girl next to him. You can’t help but hold your breath as Levi turns to face her, and you can just barely make out the words he says.

“I’m sorry, miss,” he starts, moving to kneel down so he is at eye level with the girl. A frown starts to crease between her eyebrows and she repeats, “Dance! Dance!” She stomps her small feet against the ground in protest, and Levi says as he tries to explain, “I’m working right now, I’m not allowed to dance.”

Tears begin to well up in the little girl’s big blue eyes, threatening to spill down her smooth cheeks. Levi glances around for a second, eyes scoping to see if anyone watched him make this child cry.

From the corner of his periphery, he catches sight of you watching the interaction. He groans internally, but then he sees you motion to the little girl, and he turns to face her again. She reached across to where his arm was resting on his knee, gently grabbing his fingers.

“Dance?” She repeats softer this time, the tears sliding from the edge of her eyes and down her cheeks. Levi’s heart can’t help but melt a little at the touching sight and he lets out a sigh of defeat.

“Just one dance,” he manages as he stands up straight, offering the girl his gloved hand. Instantly, the little girl starts smiling and giggling, “Dance! Dance, dance!” before launching onto Levi’s thigh.

He’s caught off guard for a second, stumbling back a few steps before regaining his balance. The little girl just laughs the entire time, and once again, Levi glances around for help. Unsure of what to do, he reaches down and picks the little girl up by her small waist, hoisting her up to his side opposite his blade.

Just then, the music started to pick back up and more people were making their way to the dance floor, and Levi begrudgingly followed, much to the little girl’s enjoyment. As he shuffles toward the edge of the dance floor, he catches sight of Zeke and Porco, who are standing guard on the other side of the tiled area.

He could see the two blondes snickering to themselves, pointing to the little girl and back to Levi. He can feel a moment of rage well up inside of him, but he pushes it down as he turns to face the little girl and says, “May I have this dance, miss?”

The little girl throws her arms around Levi’s neck and giggles, “Dance, now, now!” Not a moment passes by before the crowd on the dance floor begins to move in sync with the music. Levi starts to copy everyone’s movements to the best he could holding a toddler, but she doesn’t seem to care about his mistakes.

He twirled and spun the two of them around, slowly but surely letting his guard down as he danced around with the girl. You on the other hand, sat watching the two of them from the sidelines, and your heart was swelling in your chest at the adorable scene in front of you.

I had no idea Levi could be so good with children, you think to yourself, Nor did I know he could dance!

As the two of them passed by every few seconds, you could hear the little girl laughing away, and occasionally you could pick up the word “dance”. The music eventually slows to a finish, and you once again see Levi get down on one knee in front of the little girl.

He reaches under his short cloak and pulls out a small clutch of white daisies, offering them to the little girl. She smiles brightly at him as he says, “I would gladly dance with you again, miss.” The little girl launches at him again, wrapping him in an awkward hug before grabbing the flowers and running off.

Levi watches her small figure run up to a woman with two children next to her and another one in her arms. A minute smile makes its way across his lips as he sees the little girl reach up and give her mom the flowers, turning to point back at the dark-haired knight.

The woman gives him a grateful smile, and he pushes off his knees to stand straight and gives her a nod. Just then, he hears someone clear their throat behind him, and when he looks over his shoulder, he sees you standing there.

The sun was just starting to set behind you, illuminating your frame in its golden glow. Levi’s breath catches in his throat as he turns to face you, noting the sly smile on your lips. You rock back and forth on your feet before saying coyly, “I saw you dancing with that little girl, soldier.”

Levi feels a wave of heat wash over him in embarrassment, his cheeks slightly tinging pink at your comment. He glances to the ground with a shrug and mumbles, “It was nothing.” You scoff at him and playfully hip-bump him with a giggle of, “C’mon, that was absolutely adorable!”

You can see a smile start to crack through his faux facade and you nudge him again, and he finally caves in with a chuckle of, “What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just hurt her feelings and leave her to cry.”

You laugh along with him, grabbing his arm as he starts to guide you toward the food stalls, “And the flowers? That was a bit over the top!” He just rolls his eyes, a pleasant smile on his face as he sighs out, “Let’s go get you some food before nightfall.”

He guides the two of you through the market stalls, and you pick and choose which snacks and foods intrigue you the most. Just as you finish off a small glass of cherry wine, Levi pulls you behind one of the market stalls without a word.

You don’t question his movements, simply following in his footsteps until you see where he’s brought you. It’s just one street down from where all of the festivities are taking place, and it’s much quieter without the hustle of everyone and the harshness of the music.

The fresh air and light breeze swirl around you, making you take a deep breath through your nose that you slowly sigh out through your mouth, (colored) orbs fluttering closed. Levi watches you in that moment, noting the way your hair was coming slightly undone from a small clip that pinned away (colored) locks behind your ear.

Then you open your eyes and turn to him, a sweet smile on your lips as you say, “Thanks for getting me out of there for a bit, it was starting to get a little overwhelming.” He nods under your watchful gaze, motioning to a small bench just down the street.

The two of you sit down for a moment, eyes fixed on the sun setting in front of you. The once golden color was now bleeding shades of carmine and lavender, swirled with rusts and peaches. It was silent except for the sound of the festival on the other side of the stone wall behind your bench, not that you minded.

A few minutes of silence pass between you and Levi before he starts to shift, catching your attention. He once again reaches under his cloak, hand fumbling for a second before reappearing with one lone daisy.

The small white flower was still in good condition, only the stalk of the plant slightly bent from where it resided on his belt. You glance from the flower back to Levi, whose cheeks are once again slightly flushed, and he offers the flower to you.

Your (colored) gaze widens as you take it from him, admiring the pureness of the petals and the beautiful golden color of its core. You move to place it in your hair saying, “Thank you, Levi! This will be a lovely addition to my outfit tonight.”

You struggle for a moment, trying to push the stem through your unruly locks of hair that were tangled from dancing. Levi’s voice distracts you as he asks lowly, “May I help?” You give him a thin smile and a nod, handing the flower back to him.

Levi pulls the leather glove off of his left hand, setting it on his lap before taking the flower from you. His thin digits reach up slowly, so as to not scare you, before pushing the stem of the daisy through your (colored) tresses. He then brushes a small piece of hair behind your ear, securing the flower and then dropping his hand back to his lap.

It’s tense for a moment, the air thick with emotion, but Levi coughs once and then starts, “Y/n, I’ve been meaning to ask-” “This is my favorite song!” you burst out, your attention turning toward the music coming from the other street.

The tune was loud and unmistakably your favorite, and you stood up in a hurry, calling, “We must discuss this later! I cannot miss my favorite song!” And with that, you disappeared around the corner, with Levi sighing from where he was on the bench, his stomach dropping.

But, he takes a deep breath, stands up, and follows you back into the festival.

---

Night had fallen. The sky was a deep, midnight blue, flecked with stars that glimmered in the lantern light of the festival. The crowd was livelier now than it had been before dusk, with all the children tucked into bed and the parents out on the town.

For you, however, you were done with dancing and playing. Now, you had to act like the royalty you were supposed to be representing. And that meant dealing with your father and mother who wouldn’t stop talking about Miche and other suitors.

“Honestly, Y/n, I don’t see why you aren’t getting excited about this time in your life,” your mother chastises, motioning to you up and down with a look of slight disappointment on her face. You want to groan internally at her comment, but you just reply tightly, “I would be excited if I found someone worth marrying, mother!”

Your father clears his throat and insists, “Well I do have another fine set of suitors coming in for you to try out. I even believe one of them is a prince!” Instead of being excited by the thought of more suitors, it simply enraged you.

You rise to your feet quickly, rushing out, “I can’t do this.” You take off through the crowd of lords and ladies in waiting, weaving in and out of the people until you disappear from eyesight. You blocked out the calls of your parents as you made haste, tears starting to burn at the edge of your vision.

Levi witnessed the whole encounter from a few yards away, still standing guard for the evening. He immediately takes off after you without saying a word, skirting around the edge of the crowd while tracking your movements.

You don’t notice Levi following you, too enraptured with the thoughts racing in and out of your mind. Tears are blurring your vision, and you are fighting back sobs as you pick up speed, now running toward the edge of the town.

You clumsily find your way onto the roof of a house near the edge of town, the small building far from the center of the festivities. You clamber to the top of the roof, facing the rising moon, which casts a pale glow that makes it so you can see where you are stepping.

Your mind, however, was at war. More suitors? Can’t my parents tell I don’t like their choice of men for me? Have they not seen how I can’t stand any of them? Why don’t they understand I need someone who knows me…. Who likes to be around me, and I like to be around them?

Someone like Levi, the words ring out in your head. A gasp bursts from your chest and you aren’t sure if you’re crying or trying to catch your breath.

Levi?

His name makes you stop for a second, and as the tears slide down your face and you gaze up at the waxing moon, it clicks in your head.

Your heart…. Yearned for someone like Levi. Your hands itched to grasp more than just his arm walking to and from a lecture. Your soul hungered for the conversations of intellect and familiarity. Your lips thirsted for his landing on yours.

The last thought makes your eyes widen in realization, but you don’t have any time to process it when someone sits down next to you. The familiar baritone sighs out, “There you are,” making you turn to face the dark-haired knight.

You give him a tight-lipped smile, one that is holding back tears and the few words circling your mind like a mantra. Levi’s silver gaze flits between your tearful eyes, and his features soften as he watches the teardrops stream down your cheeks.

“Hey, hey,” he almost coos, hunkering down a little to look up at your face as your chin dropped to your chest, attempting to stifle another sob. His brows furrow in thought before he asks quietly, “Are you alright, Y/n?”

There is a tenderness to his voice that almost makes you want to vomit, but you manage to strangle a deep breath in and let a shaky one out. You toss your head from side to side and stutter, “N-no, Levi. I- I’m, uh, not alright.”

You glance back down at your hands and stay silent. Levi stays still, deep in thought before gently imploring, “Would you like to talk about it? I am here to listen.”

This time, when you look back up, Levi can see the moon and stars reflected in your eyes. They were still wet with tears, but your (colored) orbs seemed to hold the entire night sky in them for one second.

And in that one second, a calm peace seemed to wash over the two of you just as you started to speak, “My parents are bringing in more suitors for me to get to know. They don’t think I’m trying hard enough with my royal duties.”

You sniffle, glancing over at Levi and then continuing, “I just feel as if I don’t ever get to do what I want. Or maybe it’s that I’m frustrated they don’t understand what I want.” Levi nods in understanding when you finish talking, shuffling for a moment before murmuring, “Well, they did let you learn to fight, which is something you wanted to do.”

You sway side to side, swinging your head ever so slightly as if to contemplate his words before muttering, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Levi could tell that wasn’t the response you were hoping for, but he was never one to sugarcoat things.

“You need to stand up for yourself, Y/n/n,” he murmurs, softer this time. “They don’t take you seriously because they still see you as a child, following their every order. You need to make them realize you aren’t their precious little girl anymore,” and his gaze locks onto yours with a fiery intensity.

“You’re a woman now, and a strong and independent one at that,” he finishes passionately, moving to stand back up. His words echo in your head, and each time you hear the truths behind them, you can’t help but focus on the tone of his voice.

You open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off, “Let’s get you back to the festival. We can’t have them thinking their princess ran off in the middle of the night.” At the end of his words, he offers you his hand to take, which you accept. He pulls you to your feet and steadies you before motioning back toward the glow of the festival and says, “After you, princess.”

---

It takes a few days for you to build up the courage to confront your parents about the whole suitor debacle. You knew it was something you couldn’t take lightly, but you knew you needed to tell them sooner rather than later.

And before you know it, you are standing in front of them, heart pounding in your chest as the words that your father just said pound in your head like a hammer.

Your mother and I are in agreement. You haven’t made sufficient effort in courting a suitor, so we have chosen one for you. You’re getting married tomorrow.

It feels like the floor dropped out from underneath you, falling into a nothingness that made your stomach whirl. Married? Tomorrow? You can’t deny their wishes even though your entire body is screaming at you to fight, argue, yell. But you can’t.

So instead, you numbly are whisked away to get fitted for a white gown that you didn’t want. You are run through the order of the wedding and the reception, what you are to do, what you are to say, how you are to act.

You didn’t have the guts to face Levi and tell him of the new development in your life, but you knew he was no fool. He heard the rumors, he saw the preparations. And when he was assigned to stand guard at the main hall the following day, he knew.

You hated everything.

You hated the yellowish tone of the white dress, you always wanted one that was more blush-toned. You hated the way your hair was pinned up off of your neck and out of your face. You didn’t want everyone to see your blank stare and emotionless eyes.

You didn’t want any of this. And neither did the dark-haired knight.

The two of you could only follow orders though, and so uneasily, you survived the night. The following morning comes and you are immediately fawned over by your maids and the wedding planners.

First - your makeup. Second, your hair. Finally, the dress. It was a routine that you had dreamed of being ecstatic about, completely in love with the man you were going to marry. But you weren’t.

There is a knock on your door precisely at noon. Three short taps in a row, followed by two shorter ones. Levi. Just thinking about him makes your heart ache with a pain you never knew you could experience.

A maid rushes to open the door, and just before her hand makes it to the golden handle, you call out, “Wait! Let the guard in and please leave. I require a moment alone.” The maid nods to you, opening the door with a smile and curtsy, sliding out of your room before a familiar figure makes his way in.

You were sitting on a short stool a few feet away from your vanity, staring at your reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall. Your whole image was one of grace and elegance, everything a princess should be.

But the light in your eyes was one of a grounded bird. The emotion in your eyes was reminiscent of a beached whale. The frown on your face with the light of a dying deer, hunted by a mountain lion.

Levi stops in his tracks when he catches sight of you, his mouth parting as he takes in your appearance. To put it simply, you were beautiful. He coughs once to clear his throat, a tight line forming his lips before he states, “I am here to guide you to the main hall, Princess Y/n.”

You turn to face him at the sound of his voice, tears threatening to spill down your powdered cheeks. You can’t fight the wobble in your lip as you utter, “Levi…” You can’t see his brow furrow just a smudge more at the pain in your voice, and you feel terrible for not telling him.

“Levi, I- I-...” and you take a breath, your vision blurring over for a second before you continue, “I am so sorry for not telling you about this plan. My parents-” “I know,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion.

You sniffle and stand up, wiping tears away and reaching for a small towel to pat your face dry. He watches every movement, in awe that he could be near someone so ethereal, so heavenly. Levi finds words on the tip of his tongue again, dancing through his mind, coursing through his blood.

But he knows he can’t say anything, it’s your wedding day, after all. He bites his tongue to keep them from spilling out of his mouth, instead giving you a moment to steel your nerves. You walk toward him once you have cleaned up your appearance, and you open your arms with a sad smile.

“Can I please have a hug? I think it might be the only thing to get me through the day,” you croak out with a subtle shrug. Levi’s heart is pounding in his chest, bursting at the thought and meaning of your words.

He nods though, and takes a step forward, opening his arms to wrap around your waist. Your arms come to rest around his neck, pulling the dark-haired knight closer. His hands are warm on your waist, a feeling you know you will miss when he pulls away.

You don’t mind the hard feel of his armor or the feeling of his breath on your neck. You wished the moment would never end so that you didn’t have to marry a man you didn’t love. It’s ruined when the bells outside your window start to ring, and Levi forces himself to slowly pull away from you, looking deep into your (colored) gaze.

You sniffle again saying, “Thank you, Levi. For everything.” He bows and murmurs, “As you wish, Y/n.” As I wish? I wish… I wish to live in this moment forever, Levi. With you.

Levi clears his throat again, and you can see his stoic mask go back on. You feel a pang of guilt wash over you, even though you know it's not your fault. He offers you his arm, and for what could be the last time, you take it.

He guides you down the familiar halls of the castle you grew up in. There are people fluttering about, finalizing the touches to the reception to be held after the ceremony, but you do your best to block them out.

Instead, you try to focus on the feeling of your hand on Levi’s shoulder pauldron, the chill of the silver metal keeping your attention on the knight. In step, the two of you make it outside the doors of the ceremony, where you will walk down the aisle, alone.

Levi reaches across with his second hand, the gloved fingers grabbing your own digits. He squeezes them slowly in a way you know is meant to calm you down. It’ll be okay. I’ll be in there. You can do this.

You give him a tight-lipped and watery-eyed smile before gushing, “I’ll see you on the other side, right?” He squeezes your hand again and then steps away with a nod and says, “I doubt you could get rid of me if you tried.”

A dry giggle escapes you, making you breathe deeply for the first time that day. You are handed a bouquet of flowers, and as you turn to thank the maid, Levi disappears. Not a moment later, music starts to play from the other side of the doors right before they open.

You are met with the faces of hundreds of lords and ladies, people from the town, and the face of the priest and the man you were marrying standing on the altar. You take a deep breath before marching like a soldier down the aisle decorated with flower petals and large arrangements.

Everyone is standing, staring. But you try to ignore them, focusing on the feeling of your feet landing flat on the ground, the softness of the ribbon holding your bouquet together. The way your heart beat for another man, but was about to be given away to a stranger.

While it seemed like a mile long, you eventually make it to the altar, and you are met with the face of the man you were set to marry. You knew he was probably a good man. He probably had goals for his career, wanted to father a gaggle of children, wanted a wife he could count on and love.

And you knew you couldn’t do that for him.

Mindless words echo out as you repeat the vows from the priest, loveless and cold. You manage to make it through each line, but just as the priest asks, “Princess Y/n, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

I…. the thought reverberates in your head, I, I don’t love this man, I can’t marry him.

“Y/n?” a voice calls to you, and it shakes you out of your head. Your (colored) gaze snaps from the priest, who looks concerned, to the man you are about to marry, around to the gathered congregation. In your heart, you knew you were searching for one person. One man you knew your heart burned for.

You turn back to the priest, withdrawing your hands from your betrothed, and you utter, “I, I can’t do this. My heart belongs to another.” At that, you grab your skirts, rush down the few steps, and run up the aisle, leaving the man at the altar.

The crowd gasps in shock at the scandal playing out in front of them, and you see people reaching for you, grabbing at you as you make your way out of the main hall. You don’t hear your father’s call after you, lost in the destruction your heart created.

“Ackerman, find her!” your father’s voice booms out, but the dark-haired knight is already on the move. The knight immediately takes off, running as he tries to keep your frame in sight. He knew you were strong from all of your training, but evidently, your stamina was still intact despite wearing a heavy gown.

You find yourself running blindly, passing maids, butlers, and gardeners finishing up the last touches of flowers for the reception. Your lungs were burning like the red-hot flames from the forge you passed in desperation. You push past all of them, tears blurring your vision as you run as fast as you can away from everything.

You can hear footsteps following you, but you don’t really care who it is or what they want. “Leave me alone, please!” you wail as you tear through bushes, your eyes closed as you burst into an open garden. Unknowing to you, you ran the entire way to the Josephina Garden where you first encountered a certain dark-haired knight.

Not a moment later, a warm hand closes on your wrist, and you are quickly spun around to face the assailant. You blink through the tears as you make out the figure of Levi, concern written all over his face. Your chest is heaving from your run in the heavy white dress, but Levi seems rather unphased.

He takes a deep breath before stuttering out, “W-why did you say that, Y/n? You know you shouldn’t lie about stuff like that, especially in front of your family and, and the kingdom.” You can see the emotion on his face plain as day, like reading a book that you know word for word.

You could see the way his brow creased, like the gaps between paragraphs when the words seemed to stop flowing. You could see the confusion in his grey, steel eyes, that reminded you of the words you had to reread over and over again just to understand their meaning.

Every feature of his face, you knew, though. Levi was like the dog-eared fold in your favorite book, the paper worn smooth from how many times you flipped it open. He was like your favorite line when the girl finally let the guy take her out on the town on their first date.

Levi was memorizable, you knew every piece about him, and every thought and feeling as he stood in front of you, grasping your arm. Yet he was blind, and couldn’t read the book that he was himself.

“I am in love with someone else!” you shout again, moving to pull your wrist away from the grasp Levi had on it. He doesn’t budge though, holding you firm as you try to pull away from him.

He pulls you closer, his second hand coming up to grasp your shoulder as he barks, “Who?! Who on this goddamn earth would you be in love with?!” Levi pauses, looking deeper into your (colored) eyes before his voice cracks and he murmurs, “I’m your best friend, Y/n, you would have told me if there was someone else you loved.”

You take a deep breath and close your eyes, willing the tears to stop flowing and your heart to stop pounding as loudly as it was. You could feel it rattling your ribcage, attempting to crawl up your throat and make a fool of yourself.

And it betrays you in an instant.

“It’s you!” you exclaim, ripping your arms away from him in a moment of strength, throwing them into the air. The words ring out loudly, the silence that followed them almost deafening. You peek your eyes open as you look up from the ground to meet Levi’s hardened and confused gaze.

“It’s you, Levi,” you whisper as you lock eyes with him. He turns his head in bewilderment, and then he starts shaking it in denial, “No. No, it’s not. It’s not me, Y/n. Don’t joke with me about this.”

You laugh dryly as you throw your hands in the air again and scoff, “I wouldn’t lie or joke about something like this, Levi.” You meet his intense gaze again and gesture to him with a softer, “You know I wouldn’t.”

You can see him swallow thickly, his hands clenching by his sides. You can see the words forming on his lips, and you can just barely hear them when he whispers, “You can’t…” Levi doesn’t say anything after that, so you take the moment to fill in every question you know is racing around his mind.

“It’s… it’s always been you, Levi. It’s been you since the very first training session when you knocked me to the ground,” you start, your right hand coming up to caress your left bicep in shyness. “It’s been you since that night in the forge when you helped me cope with Rico’s death,” you whisper.

You shrug as you smile fondly and state, “It’s been you since you let that little girl dance with you at the festival. It’s been you since you sat on the roof with me, giving me a taste of normalcy.” You sniffle as fresh tears stream down your cheeks, “It’s always been you.”

Levi is mute. Not a sound escapes him as his mouth parts, unsaid words and questions hanging on the tip of his tongue. You don’t say anything, letting him process each and every moment, reliving them as you did in your own mind.

Finally, he speaks, “You’re lying. You can’t possibly love someone like me.” The words are harsh and cut right to your core. Lying? He thinks you’re lying? The look on his face shows that he is completely dumbfounded, flabbergasted, amazed.

Emotion and frustration builds up inside you as he denies you again. And then, you’ve had enough and you can’t handle it anymore.

“Believe me!” you shout, your voice ripping at the heightened volume. You pause as you feel your throat tighten and clench. Then, “Bel-believe me, when I say this to you, Levi,” and you straighten your shoulders to match his stance.

You meet his gaze and then your voice rings out, “Believe me when I say I love you.” A sob wracks your body and then you finish, “Because I do. I do love you, Levi, with my entire being.”

Passion overcomes Levi and he lunges forward, grabbing onto your waist as if you would disappear under his touch. He holds onto you for the first time without ever asking, pulling you close to him as he urges, “Repeat that, please.”

You look deep into his eyes as your hands come up to cup his angled cheekbones and you whisper, “I said I love you.” A smile cracks through Levi’s lips as he watches your lips move and as tears well up in his grey eyes he rushes out, “Again!”

A slight giggle falls from your lips as you repeat, “I love you, Levi.” The dark-haired knight just grips you tighter, pulling you closer and more flush to his chestplate. A moment passes between the two of you, and with Levi looking deep into your (colored) eyes he murmurs, “I love you, Y/n.”

You feel butterflies erupt in your belly, the feeling completely washing over you in mere seconds. Levi moves one hand from your waist to slowly close his palm on your cheek, his head tilting to the side ever so slightly.

“... may I?” his voice comes out so soft you almost miss what he says, but the meaning behind his silver gaze is undeniable. With such an intensity, his eyes flicker from your own (colored) ones to your parted lips, and there is no doubt in your mind.

Not trusting your voice, you nod, leaning into his touch without another thought. His nose bumps yours in a way that could be seen as clumsy and inexperienced, but it’s endearing the way he pauses, allowing himself to enjoy the smallest touches.

He nuzzles you for just a moment before his lips land on yours, soft and warm. He’s slow as his mouth meets yours for the first time. Levi is nothing but gentle as he kisses you, holding you with such a tenderness that it makes your knees weak. You clutch onto him as you let your mouth move against his, enjoying every second of his love.

You can’t bear to open your eyes when you feel him pull away, wanting to savor every fleeting memory of Levi kissing you. When you do allow your eyes to flutter open, you find Levi staring at you, cheeks pink and an embarrassed look on his face.

“Was that not to your liking?” you ask quietly, scared that you had somehow messed up your first kiss with the knight. Levi shakes his head from side to side, and with a small smile, he replies, “No, not at all. I just can’t believe there was something so perfect out there and I never knew it until this moment.”

You feel heat wash over you at his comment, eyes tipped toward the ground. The hand that was caressing your cheek stops your movement, pulling your chin up to face him. Levi’s gaze is so intense it feels like knives are splitting you open and he says, “You are so beautiful, Y/n. I would lay down my life for you if you asked.”

You smile at him and lean into his touch before whispering, “Let us hope it never comes to that, Levi. I don’t think I could live without you.” Levi smiles and murmurs back, “As you wish, princess, as you wish.”

–The End–

Tags: @anlian-aishang @xyumemi @xxdragonwriterxx @starstruckkittensweets @darlingheichou

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