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#i just think we would complement each other so well
cinaminrolll · 5 months
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me @ johanna mason
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nachosncheezies · 6 months
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Thinking about season 8 (my beloved 😍) and something in how the awkwardness and trauma and DISTANCE after resurrection was a perfect tool to keep everyone themselves. Mulder could've been overprotective, overbearing, overinvolved, borderline obnoxious about the whole pregnancy thing. I think that if he was there the whole time it would've been a very fine line to walk, story wise, to do that without taking away from Scully as an individual. Scully in the field, Scully being a rebel, Scully doing whatever the fuck she feels like. Not to say it wouldn't have been interesting if they had successfully navigated that interaction between his guilt complex/overprotectiveness and her fierce independence. But the tension between Mulder saying 'Scully no' and Scully saying 'Scully YES' and mulder saying '...okay Scully you are my partner I support you' but watching her like a damn hawk was something they had kind of resolved and moved on from after the cancer arc and esp after Emily. By taking Mulder out of the picture she was only mother henned by people she would always have said 'thank you for your concern, get rekt' to. They set her up to go through most of it without the one person she MIGHT listen to hovering beside her, and sidestepped trying to figure out who desk job Scully would be in a world where Mulder is still chasing monsters. They didn't have to figure out who monster chaser Mulder would be in a world where he wouldn't call his partner for backup when something really cool or scary was going on. Scully didn't take a desk job or play it safe. Mulder only had to go fetch her and send her home once, and it was after she had already conceded to her doctor (but then, just like we'd expect from either of them, she went back to the lab to help save her [other] partner. And he knew recognized it and recognized that this was her and said okay I'll get it done. It was good for a one-time. Probably not good for a whole season) We never had to watch them have that fight.
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incognit0slut · 2 months
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Just honestly anything with husband/dad!reid
(Fluff, Sexual innuendo) Dad!Spencer x Mom!Reader. 1.1k
You’re flabbergasted at how much your son resembles your husband.
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The resemblance was uncanny. You'd like to think that after nine months of carrying your child, he would at least look a little something like you. Sure, there were your eyes, and Spencer never failed to mention his adorable nose resembled yours. Yet beyond those traits, he was undeniably your husband's little doppelganger.
You watched in awe as they nestled together on the couch, engrossed in one of Spencer’s documentaries. Though you knew you’d seen it before, your attention wasn’t fixated on the TV screen, but on the sight before you.
How could they look so much alike?
It wasn’t just the matching mop of curly brown hair or the glasses resting on their noses; it was their shared mannerisms that truly struck you. From the focused furrow of their brows to the way they leaned in attentively, it was as if Oliver was a miniature version of his father.
You saw Spencer leaning forward, gesturing toward the screen. "See, magnets have north and south poles, and opposite poles attract each other while like poles repel. It's all about the magnetic field they create."
"Opposites attract?"
"Opposite poles, like north and south, pull towards each other," Spencer explained, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "While poles that are the same, like two norths or two souths, push away. It's all because of the magnetic field they generate."
Oliver nodded eagerly, taking in the information. "So, it's like they're drawn to each other because they're different?"
"Exactly," Spencer agreed, giving Oliver a proud smile. "Just like how sometimes, people with different personalities or interests can be drawn to each other because they complement each other."
"Like you and mom?"
Your husband smiled. "What makes you say that?"
Oliver shrugged. "Well, you like books and learning things, and Mom loves art and cooking. You're different, but you're together."
Spencer chuckled. "You know, you're absolutely right. Your mom and I might be different, but we complement each other very well."
"Are you guys talking about me?"
The two of them whipped their heads as they saw you enter the room.
"Mom!" Oliver cheered, jumping off the couch to tackle you with a hug, wrapping his small arms around your legs. You laughed as his embrace nearly knocked you off balance, returning his hug with warmth.
“Hey there, buddy.”
"You’re back,” Spencer greeted from the couch. "How was girls day out?"
"Amazing, Aunt Penelope took me to the spa," you replied. "It was so relaxing, very therapeutic... until I realized how much I missed you both."
Spencer's smile widened at your words. "We missed you too.”
“What’s therapeutic?”
Spencer turned to Oliver, his smile growing as he considered how to explain. “Well, therapeutic is when something makes you feel calm and relaxed, like the spa did for Mom.”
Oliver nodded, absorbing his words with interest. “So, like when I play with my Legos and it makes me feel happy?”
You grinned, ruffling Oliver’s hair affectionately. “That’s right, doing things you enjoy can be very therapeutic for your mind and body.”
Your son, who was still clinging to your legs, looked up with bright eyes. "Can we have a movie night now that you’re back? I think it can be therapeutic.”
You chuckled at Oliver’s suggestion, feeling a surge of affection for his sweet innocence.
“A cozy movie night with my two favorite guys? Now that’s what I call therapeutic,” you replied, giving his head another gentle ruffle. “But first, why don't you put these in the kitchen?"
His eyes widened with curiosity as he peered at the plastic bag in your hand. "What's in there?"
You grinned, holding up the bag for him to see. "Some snacks Aunt Penelope packed for us. Why don't you take them to the kitchen while Dad and I set up the movie?"
Oliver's face lit up with excitement as he eagerly took the bag from you. "Sure thing, Mom!" he exclaimed before dashing off to the kitchen.
Spencer chuckled softly, shaking his head in amusement. "His enthusiasm is contagious."
You nodded in agreement as you walked over to him. "I wonder where he got that from."
Spencer grinned playfully, wrapping an arm around your waist as you joined him on the couch. "Hmm, I wonder."
"That boy resembles you more each day."
Spencer’s grin widened at your observation, a hint of pride shining in his eyes. “I suppose he’s taking after his old man.”
“He definitely has your enthusiasm and curiosity,” you remarked, your gaze drifting fondly toward Oliver as he bustled about in the kitchen.
“And your appetite for food, it seems,” he added, nodding towards the snacks Oliver had eagerly pulled out from the bag.
You laughed, the warmth of his embrace filling you with a sense of contentment. “He’s got good taste,” you quipped, leaning in for a kiss. "Ask me what else I did today."
"What else did you do today?" Spencer asked with a playful grin, his arm still around your waist as he pulled you closer before pressing his lips on yours in a sweet, innocent kiss.
You smiled against his lips, savoring the tender moment before pulling back slightly to meet his gaze. "Well," you began, your voice soft, "I booked a wax appointment."
His grin faltered for a moment, replaced by a look of mild surprise. "Oh?"
"Yep, do you wanna see it later?" Spencer's cheeks flushed slightly and you chuckled. All these years of marriage and he still managed to get flustered whenever you tease him. “Aw, look at you blushing.”
Spencer rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”
“It’s adorable,” you teased, giving his cheek a playful pinch before leaning in to press a quick kiss to his nose.
He sighed dramatically, though the twinkle in his eyes betrayed his mock annoyance. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
You grinned, feeling a rush of affection for your husband. “And you’re lucky you married me,” you retorted. “So, what do you say to a nice, warm bubble bath and one of my awesome massages with a happy ending?”
“You know I can’t say no to that.” His gaze then fell to the length of your body. “Do I get a preview now?”
Your head fell back as you laughed. “Spencer Reid, your kid is in the next room.”
“Our kid,” he corrected gently.
"Dad!" Your son's voice suddenly echoed through the house. "I can't reach the plates!"
Spencer’s cheeks flushed slightly as he realized your son was within earshot, and he quickly cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure.
“Right, sorry,” he mumbled, his gaze flickering to you with a sheepish smile.
You shared a knowing look with him before turning your attention to Oliver. “I’ll help you out, sweetie,” you called back, already moving towards the kitchen.
Spencer followed close behind, his arm wrapping around your waist. “We’ll continue this conversation later.”
You shook your head in amusement. Parenthood certainly had a way of interrupting even the most romantic of moments, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.
A/n: i’m sorry this is bad i wrote this half-conscious (i’m sick)
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thedarkdisgrace · 2 months
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Ok, follow up post to the original cause I wanted to actually offer my analysis/interpretation on this.
I feel like this is a right/left brain analogy 🧵
Dazai covering his right side, the side supposedly responsible for the emotional & artistic things. It says alot about his mindset, accurate for that time.
It’s intriguing, then, Kouyou covers the “logical” side
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I feel like this lends to why Chuuya & Kouyou do get along well. While both Chuuya & Kouyou are no doubt very intelligent (Asagiri literally refers to Chuuya as a genius) they both still lean very much into their emotional side as well. Even if Kouyou seemingly does so less.
Kouyou reveals herself, however, not only in her care for Chuuya but we mainly see it how she handled the situation with Kyoka.
She could have insisted Kyoka come back without ever changing her mind but when Dazai presents her with a way to save Kyoka from dark, she agrees quickly.
Kouyou clearly cares & wanted to help & protect Kyoka even if she went about it poorly. She was trying to help based on her past experiences, lest we forget that she tried to leave the mafia herself once, for *love* no less. She also tends to get emotional when talking about her past or her wish to help Kyoka.
But once she was presented with another solution, a far better one, she didn’t do “what’s best for the mafia”. Kouyou agreed to what was best for Kyoka & that was definitely a more emotional choice.
This is an area where Chuuya & Kouyou align. So, of course they would get along.
Chuuya always seems to find the balance between his logic and emotion. However, he can easily & often does lean more into his emotional side first, then his logical side.
It’s similar for Kouyou, even if we don’t see it as much from her.
Back to Dazai then, when he left the mafia & the cover on Dazai’s “emotional side” was gone Dazai seemed to also move more towards that balancing of the two sides.
He started off heavily relying on his logical brain & struggled emotionally. Often feeling numb or apathetic mostly, hence his suicidal ideation.
Then he meets Chuuya & this shifts. Chuuya forces him to experience new feelings. As Chuuya is a living breathing example of most things Dazai felt the world lacked. It opened Dazai to the idea that there is more to the world, there is more to *people*. Chuuya intrigues Dazai enough to make him want to live a little longer again. Chuuya gave him a reason to keep going, a promise of more.
From the moment he met Chuuya, it was a process of letting more & more emotions seep into his mind & his heart. We see how he feared for Chuuya in 15 even after they just met, even though Dazai *knew* it was a plan.
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I might even venture to go as far as to say Dazai may not have feared for someone else’s life that hard before. It was a burst of unrecognizable emotions to him. After this, he only had more & more emotion seep in as the years went by. In Storm Bringer he was ready to sacrifice the city to give Chuuya a choice.
That relationship opened Dazai up to others later, namely Oda & Ango. Which only further encouraged the intermingling of his logical brain and his emotions. Then reaching the point at which the bandages were finally removed entirely and then he, like Chuuya, moved to striving to find the balance rather than relying on one side.
Bringing us back to current Dazai as he is still attempting to find that balance.
He still leans more towards his logical side. This, of course, in contrast to Chuuya who, while intelligent, more easily leans into the emotional.
Yet another thing between them that completes & balances each other. Soukoku will always pull the other back when drifting too far.
So, of course, Soukoku complement each other & it benefits them both.
Having Kouyou on Chuuya’s other side I think also does help Chuuya stay grounded while in the mafia. Chuuya isn’t one to lose who he is but I think having someone else who he knows *cares* like he does helps.
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Now, additionally, if we apply this to Beast, I think this also says alot about beast Dazai & why Asagiri says beastzai would be the hardest for someone to portray.
Because *this* Dazai, is perhaps *too* far into his emotional side. He’s always intelligent but in beast, his actions aren’t fully logical, they’re emotional.
He appears cold & calculating as always but he saw another version of himself suffer the great loss of a best friend & allowed his emotional desire to prevent that from happening take control. Thus, his emotional side takes over, thus him covering the opposite side from canon Dazai, he’s covering his “logical” side.
I feel like this is the main difference between all the various Dazai we’ve seen.
PM Dazai relied heavily on his logical side, especially before meeting Chuuya. He rarely took emotion into account unless it involved the 3 people he actually cared for. We see him make emotional choices when it involves Chuuya, Oda, and Ango. Dazai did seem to let more and more emotion seep in over time as a result of knowing them, however, leading to that moment the bandages are removed.
Beastzai is leaning far too heavily into his emotional side, getting lost in it even. Acting solely on an emotional desire rather than a logical one. His desire to prevent a tragedy. He only was using his intellect to further that emotional desire.
Canonzai went through a steady progression, meeting Chuuya starts to open him up, this extending over time to Oda & Ango, leading to the cover on his “emotional” side being taken off.
But beastzai skipped all of that, all the *progression* to that point for canonzai & so beastzai just got all these intense emotions he never experienced before all at once when he saw canonzai’s memories & therefore he sunk far too deep, too quickly into his emotions.
Now current/ADA Dazai is the balance of the two extremes, and seemingly the closest to happiness.
ADA Dazai uses his logical brain as always but he also actually takes emotion into account as well and has more people he actually cares for now.
I think that says alot to the theme of bsd, leaning into that “everything is grey” dynamic. Everything is about the *balance* of things. Showcasing that anything in extremes in either direction doesn’t work.
Anyway, just some thoughts I had and interpretations of mine. Take them as you want, as always.
Oh and just to be clear, I don’t think Dazai was ever “emotionless”, even at his worse. Even if he was numb and apathetic. He was also lonely.
Just saying the more people he came to care about (Chuuya, Oda, Ango then later the ADA) the more he was able to feel a variety of emotion.
My original post:
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ale-wosofan · 3 months
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I love you
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Alexia x R
R realizes she’s in love with her girlfriend
warnings: none!
a/n: just something I wrote after seeing Alexia up close during a game and realizing I might actually be in love with her. Almost a thousand words of pure fluff. Enjoy!
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The smell of coffee and sound of Spanish music playing wake you up. A soft sigh escapes your lips as you stretch your limbs, taking your time to enjoy your morning before having to get up.
After a few more minutes you finally decide to leave your bed. Taking a hoodie and putting it on, you walk into the kitchen. The sight you find, however makes you stop in your tracks.
Alexia is cooking –what seems to be– breakfast for the two of you, which is not weird at all. Except it is because she’s doing it in your shirt.
This shouldn’t surprise you as much as it does, considering the two of you are at your house and Alexia wasn’t planning on staying the night. But there’s something about seeing your girlfriend wearing your clothes that just makes sense. You feel warmth spreading all through your body and can’t help but stare at her a little bit longer, trying to memorize the scene in front of you.
“You could be helping me instead of looking at me,” Alexia’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts “Buenos días, amor.”
“Good morning,” you answer smiling at her, still a little distracted.
Alexia lets out a laugh at how zoned out you seem to be and suddenly it hits you.
You’re in love with her.
You don’t know for sure what makes you realize it; maybe it was sleeping in the same bed as her, waking up to the sound of her cooking in your kitchen, seeing her in your clothes, or simply the domesticity of it all.
“Amor?” you hum at your girlfriend’s question “Are you okay? You seem distracted.”
“Yeah, yeah, I just- I forgot I told my sister I would call her when I woke up,” you lie “so I should probably do it before we have breakfast.”
“Oh, alright. Okay, you do that and I’ll finish cooking in the meantime,” she answers walking up to you and leaving a kiss on your forehead.
As soon as you’re out of earshot you take your phone begging the universe your sister will pick up.
“Hello?” you hear a very sleepy voice ask.
“Help. I need help.”
“Well, that’s obvious. I’m surprised it has taken you this long to realize,” you roll your eyes at your sister's antics “What is it?”
Taking a deep breath and making an effort to lower your voice, you try not to think about it too much before opening your mouth to answer.
“I’m in love with Alexia. But, like, really in love. I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest every time she looks at me, or smiles at me, or touches me. I love the sound of her laugh, and how calm she looks in the mornings. I love that we’re the complete opposite and yet we complement each other perfectly. She’s just- I’m- I don’t know. I’ve been in love before, but this feeling? This feels fucking amazing, like something I’ve never felt, like I had never truly lived until I met her, you know? And now everything just makes perfect sense because she’s by my side,” you stop for a moment trying to gather your thoughts because you’re not sure you’re making a lot of sense right now “We’ve only been dating for a few months, but I’ve woken up today and she was there, standing in my kitchen, wearing my clothes and cooking breakfast for me and I just knew it. I love her.”
There’s silence at the other end of the line for a few minutes. You’re about to hang up thinking your sister has fallen asleep when she speaks again.
“Well, it seems to me like you already know how you feel. Now you just need to tell your girlfriend.”
“And how am I supposed to do that?” you ask frustrated “I don’t even know if she feels the same way!”
“You’re even more of an idiot than I thought,” you hear your sister mumble “That woman loves you, probably more than you think. Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t realized you love her until this moment. Now, about how to tell her? I have no idea, but you figure it out, I’m going to sleep.”
And just like that your sister hangs up.
You walk back into the kitchen with no plan but determined to tell Alexia how you feel.
“Breakfast is almost ready, you should get the-”
“Alexia” you interrupt her.
Looking up, your girlfriend stops what she’s doing when she sees how serious you look and nods her head, indicating that you have her full attention.
“What is it? You just used my full name so it seems pretty important,” she says letting out a nervous laugh.
“No, it’s, um- it’s not anything bad, I promise” you move towards her and take her hands in yours “I just- I love you. And, listen, you don’t have to say it back if you don’t feel the same, but I just really needed you to know.”
You bite your lip waiting for an answer that doesn’t come. Instead, your girlfriend puts both of her hands in your cheeks, forcing you to look up at her. You barely have any time to process what is happening before her lips are on yours, kissing you with purpose. After a few seconds the two of you separate, Alexia resting her forehead against yours.
“I love you,” she whispers against your lips and letting out a laugh “So much.”
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The angelic peeps (I don’t mind who) with a sinner reader who had been mistaken as angel because of their form. Just them getting shooed inside heaven and ends up being like 👁️👄👁️????
Hell is forever! And Heaven... is also forever?
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Adam
Now, when you'd appeared, you had no idea where you were, or what the actual fuck was happening.
So when you witnessed an angelic figure slashing down some creepy little creature, you naturally freaked out.
When you were approached by an angel, if that angel shopped at forever 21.
The Goth angels having their weapons drawn you'd freeze, the two freezing as they stared at you.
"The Hell are you doing here?" One would as with a disnctly feminine tone.
You, completely off guard, would blurt out. "I'mmm... lost?" You speak, feeling like you were playing the greatest gamble of your life.
The two would look at each other for several moments before one would sigh. "Great, a normie?"
"We sure they're a Winner?" The second Angel spoke.
"Mmmm." The second hummed. "You ever seen a Sinner look as good as them?"
The second placed a hand to her chin. "... Nah."
The first groaned, rubbing her oddly yellow Gray face. "If this gets out, this is gonna be a mountain of paperwork."
"Uhhh, we don't have paperwork." The other hummed, raising a brow.
"Yeah well, if Adam finds out about this he'll make us sign autographs for him for the next 3 weeks."
"I don't know why he does that, he's the only one that uses them."
As the two grumbled between each other, you just stood there, waiting and unsure of what to do as the two bitched back and forth.
After a while more of this, they'd snap to you.
"Alright, fine, come on then." The angel grumbled, walking over to you.
You didn't get to react before she suddenly grabbed you, flying up into the air and scaring the crap out of you. It took a minute but they flew you through the massive hole in the sky.
She placed you on the cushy cloud like road, the Angel hushing you as she snuck you past St. Peter, popping open the gate and shoving you inside.
"Look, you didn't see anything. I didnt see you. You didnt see us. Got it!?" She asked coldly.
You just nodded back, the woman glaring at you before shutting the gate, leaving you... somewhere.
That answer was quickly, well, answered, as turning around you found yourself in... Heaven.
Oh, well that's...
Wait?
HEAVEN!?
Did you just... luck your way into heaven?
Apparently you did as you were quickly welcomed into heaven, the populous eagerly welcoming you.
And well... it was Heaven!
Everything was fun and carefree and there was So. Much. Singing!
It'd be when you attended a rock show, you eagerly watching as Adam himself played lead, the whole thing incredible.
Youd somehow end up behind the scenes after the show, a variety of virtue Winners all flaunting over the Band members, especially Adam, the man surrounded by Winners.
Of course, your appearance instantly caught his attention, the man perking right up and the next thing you knew the man was all over you, the man boldly chatting you up.
Now, Adam was... well, he was a prick, but he had a charm to him when he w a s trying to be charming, the man a mix of complements and criticisms, the man always sure to play himself up.
Now, look, your not entirely proud, nor ashamed, but well... you fucked.
And admittedly... it was pretty good. Adam was a dick but, well, he knew how to use his... mostly.
And that's how you fucked the first man.
Now, you have no doubt his initial interest was all about your physical appearance, after all, your body had been what got you into heaven in the first place.
Now you'd think after that first night you'd never see the Man again, expecting to be another one of his 'conquests', before he moved along on.
Okay, so yeah, you had his number.
And yeah, he regularly called you up for a booty call.
But its not like you totally hung out after said booty calls. Eating takeout and casually chatting.
Or just laying on his belly as you scrolled your respective phones, neither of you saying anything as you just chilled.
And you totally didn't perk right up when you saw his caller ID, greeting him as 'dickmaster', the two of you flirting hard before you'd end up at his place.
And sure, you had a drawer at his place, and a pillow, not to mention a bathrobe.
...
...
...
Well fuck.
Okay, yeah, so you were, uh, 'going steady', not that the first man would admit as much, but yeah, things were, well, fun.
Sure Adam could be a dick, but with some strick words, and a smack across the face, the man was surprisingly apologetic. Like, he was still a dick, and an ardent one at that, but behind closed doors he was amazingly simple, the man quite chill as you enjoyed each other's company.
Now, you'd always kept your status as a sinner hidden, I mean, it's not like anyone suspected you, how could a sinner end up in heaven, am I right?
But you were in Hell, and well, he wasn't super open about it, but it was clear Adam detested the Sinners, the man proudly speaking on how much he despised them.
Your relationship would develope on for several months before he noticed something off with you.
"Where's your Halo?" He'd ask so causally after you'd both chewed down on some Chinese food.
You'd freeze, mind rushing as you thought up a valid excuse, going over the several you'd made up in a paranoid stupor.
"It... uh, it's kinda ugly, I keep it stored away."
The man stared at you for several minutes, before shrugging, the two of you going right back to how you were.
And so, you went on for several more months like this, growing even closer, spending a great amount of time with each other.
It'd be one day as the man goes on and on about 'filthy sinners' you unsure how to react, as on one hand you kinda were a sinner, but on the other you could go the rest of eternity without ever broaching the subject.
But well, why make things easy.
So you brought it up, asking him what he really though.
Unsurprisingly, the man had not a kind word about them, so you asked cooly what if you were a sinner?
Of course, you asked it in a flirty tone, the two of you quickly getting playful.
He'd tell you how he'd have to 'punish' you, giving you his 'righteous sword', the two of you having some especially nasty sex.
Your life was good, you and Adam got closer and closer, to the point you ended up moving in with him.
Everything was perfect... and then it wasn't.
You'd been found out. Over something so simple too.
Your blood.
You'd cut your finger.
You bled.
Their blood was gold.
Yours wasn't.
It hadn't come up, but one of the seraphim noticed, and... well.
The courtroom was something.
Adam losing his shit over this whole thing, while you just kept quiet.
Eventually you'd confess, telling them how you'd been ushered in during an extermination, you honestly not even sure where you were supposed to be.
You'd apologise to Adam, in tears as you told him you loved him, and that you never meant to cause any of this.
Now, it wasn't just a one sided argument, Adam as well as many of your friends came to your defence, many pointing out how you'd fit right in in heaven for ages, and now all of a sudden it was an issue?
That would certainly cause some issue amongst Heavens leadership.
Adam was especially vocal, saying he hated Sinners more than anybody but you clearly weren't like the other scum that get spit out into Hell, you were... special.
Now, there's 2 ways this could go.
1. Heaven simply doesn't care, expelling you from Heaven leaving your friends and Adam to fight for you. I doubt Adam would fall for you, but he'd certainly keep fighting for you, ironically, in this timeline, Adam would 100% be on Charlie's side. Man absolutely all for redemption.
Especially if you joined the hotel, you kinda being proof Sinners could live in heaven.
It'd be quite the star crossed lovers situation, the both of you from different worlds, doing your absolute best to be reunited.
Or 2. You'd be put under 'house arrest', you being restricted to a very limit area, I.e. Adams apartment, the two of you under guard most hours of the day while they 'figured things out'.
And youd basically spend all your time with Adam, the two of you growing even closer, and again, he'd be on Charlie's side this time around, man eager not so much to work with Hell, but to see if there was a way to get you in heaven permanently, he'd bloody well fight for it.
Emily
Showing up to heaven, you'd quite literally run into her, meeting Emily, the young Seraphim eager and always happy to meet a new resident of heaven.
Especially one as appealing to the eyes as you were.
You'd have some fun moments, the girl eagerly showing you around.
Funnily enough, that'd keep happening.
You'd find her randomly, or she'd find you, the two of you bumping into each other often as she showed somebody around.
And so, you'd tag along, the two of you often showing new residents the ins and outs of heaven. You gaining quite a large pool of friends for your efforts.
The two of you would steadily grow closer through this, spending lots of time together, you'd developed a fairly flirty relationship, as while she was undoubtedly innocent and pure, she wasn't above some playful flirting, though she always kept it wholesomely chaste.
You'd spend more and more time together,
Spending long periods together, you'd grow closer and closer, you and Emily developing quite the... ship.
I say 'ship' cause it wasn't quite a friendship, nor a relationship. You were in a limbo between the two.
It'd be one day after you stood up for her with a particularly rude arrival, the man seemingly loosing his mind.
Not all too odd. People had very different reactions to finding out they're dead.
But it'd be as you helped her too her feet, gently cupping her face that you'd ask her out on a date. Like, a date-date, kinda date.
And with that adorable blush of hers, she'd agree.
It was a simple affair.
You'd take her to dinner, a simple, humble dinner. Nothing crazy or over the top, just an intimate little thing.
Just like your relationship.
And after walking her home, you started dating with a warm kiss, and not much really changed.
You still spent all day together, showing arrivals around and just having fun.
But now~ you got to kiss. And you had date nights. Your relationship and romance only growing stronger by the day.
You'd actually end up telling Emily about you being a sinner.
It'd be something you wanted to tell her for ages, you telling her about everything.
How you were in Hell, and ended up in heaven, and you'd been there for so long you honestly didn't know where you belonged.
Emily of course was sooooo supportive, the woman promising to keep your secret, swearing to protect you.
You'd honestly live a very happy life with her, the two of you happy with just each other, even as you hid your past, constantly paranoid somebody would realise it one day.
Now there's kind of two ways this could go.
The first; your found out and Emily gets exposed for hiding you. A very serious action, though teeechically not illegal as it'd never been done before.
But still, knowingly hiding a sinner was a serious offence.
So, it could go two ways, either heaven realises that you aren't this evil monster, likely confining you to your home, monitoring you at all hours, likely only letting Emily visit.
It'd be tough, but upon Pentious' redemption the question of you being opened again, Emily being even more eager this time round.
Or they outright exile you, Emily potentially getting into trouble due to it.
Regardless of what happened, you and Emily would love each other, through thick and thin.
Lute
NOW!
I think we all know Lutes opinion on Sinners, an opinion she'd make sure you knew.And while it was a major insecurity for you, terrified she'd find out.
Of course, Lutes wouldn't believe it possible, you being a sinner. You were waaaaay to attractive to be some filthy Sinner.
Yet outside of that, you had such a passionate romance, the two of you doing many, MANY unholy deeds in the bedroom.
Your romance was... let's say physical.
Lute was a dominant individual, forced to be when dealing with Adam most days, as such, easily took charge of most situations.
Now, you'd keep your past hidden, naturally, not wanting to destroy your relationship.
The purges would be... a contentious point. The girl no doubt telling you, either directly or indirectly, and while she thought little of it, it would shake you, knowing the person you loved relished killing souls so avidly.
Lute... well, she'd certainly have a reaction to this.
Having the person she loved challenge her beliefs would leave her a little off guard, the woman forced to really reassess her beliefs.
Now, I don't see her genuinely changing those beliefs entirely, but I could see her toning them down, the woman maybe even a little compassionate to their plight.
Now... there's a reasonable chance Lute would figure out what you were, despite your good looks, the woman has first hand experience with Sinners, so she'd know far better then most on what a sinner looks like.
But she also wouldn't care too much to pay attention to what makes a sinner a 'sinner'.
But... well, it'd come out eventually.
Likely you telling her, confessing to her that your not sure if your supposed to be in Heaven or Hell, Lute completely caught off guard.
She'd likely outright ignore it, shrugging it off, believing it all a misunderstanding. And if you pushed the subject she'd shut you down, telling you not to talk about it.
But it'd be as you held her to your chest, the woman crying as she sat in your lap, arm missing.
You'd tell her your sorry, that you love her, but you were a sinner, and that you understood if she despised you, but you couldn't live a lie anymore.
And so, after caring for her, ensuring her arm was cared for, you'd turn yourself in
Ironically just as Pentious was reincarnated and well, the next step would be on Lute.
Hey y'all, I wanna thank you all for 4 THOUSAND FOLLOWERS!!! I am so honoured so many have deemed me good enough to follow.
(I do want to apologise for taking so long, I've been dealing with a tremendous amount of personal issues and haven't had much time for writing.)
But seriously, I wanna thank every last one of you for being here and supporting me. I love every last one of you and I hope my content has helped at least one of you feel better.
P.s. I would have done more angelic character, and might in the future, but I was drawing a blank and wanted to get this out asap.
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jeonsbabygirlsworld · 2 months
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SUMMARY : In which you let your husband take your virginity on your wedding night.
PAIRINGS: Dilf Taehyung x virgin reader
WORD COUNT :2K
SMUT WARNINGS: Unprotected sex (off course) ,cum eating, oral f. Eating out over panties, fingering, squirting, mention of blood (her cherry popped)! Titty sucking, aftercare ladies <3
A/N: A little something as I’ve reached 1k heheh thank you so much lovelies and i hope you liked this one and thank you my love 💖 @jj-one who helped me with this one and also @kingofbodyrolls who made this sexy banner💖
The beach was filled with fragrant blooms, an array of white and pink tulips adorned the set up, a gentle breeze softly tickles the groom's hair and he smiles looking at you walking hand in hand with your father holding a small bouquet of lilies.
Your wedding veil cascades down your back, complementing the silk lace and pearls embroiled on the dress, making you feel like a fairy princess. Nervously walking down the aisle with your father you blush the moment you see your husband, soft music and doting cheers follows in the background the moment you took each step.
Soon reaching upon you face the love of your life Kim Taehyung, your dad places your hand on your husband’s and some tears brim his eyes, asking him to always protect you and keep you happy forever. He chuckling upon his request, promising to keep you happy for the rest of his life while kissing the back of your palm and whispers "you look so beautiful my love." You visibly chuckle and mutter him a small "thanks, you look handsome as well".
You never thought you would end up with your casual fling that you met from an app, remembering it was one of your friends who had signed you up on the app after you broke up with your toxic ex. On the other side, Taehyung's friend, Jungkook, had signed him up when divorced his wife, thinking it was a good idea to get out of the grief and have some fun.
Your interests he was afraid if he came clean about his son you would leave.
He was sure he had fallen in love with you over the past year from just chatting and calling each other daily. It made him feel like he was a young man again and not a 38-year-old man who had a kid who would depend on for a few more years.
Taehyung was also afraid of the 16-year-old age gap, thinking it was too soon for you to commit to a lifelong relationship which included a child.
He had enough of it when he finally decided to take you on a date and coming clean about it. He came fully prepared to tell you about his son and break this situation you were in, he liked (read: Loves) you, but he didn't want you to live with the pressure of living with a child as you were young, and you had so much to experience.
In the cozy coffee shop, soft jazz played in the background while you nervously fidget on the chair, summing up the courage to tell him that you had started liking him and can see a future together. The man in front of you gave a crooked smile, continuing to surf through the menu.
"What will you have Y/n?" Taehyung asks as he skims each and every item written on the menu, his leg bouncing under the table due to anxiety.
"I love you Taehyung," you say at the same time as he began talking, he goes blank, the menu dropping from his hands while you mentally facepalm at yourselves. "Fuck I shouldn't have dropped this bomb this early.”
"What?" Taehyung gasps and then visibly gulps, and you return a crooked smile back. "Yes tae, I love you I've been loving you for a while now.." you confess once again, and he shutters "We-ll y/n m-e too" he says as if he's exclaiming, and you smile wide.
"But wait y/n, before I properly confess I want to tell you something," Taehyung nervously adds, becoming restless. Observing his moments you grab his spare hand which rested on the table and tell him to calm down.
"Y/n, you know I’m divorced, right? But I'm sorry I have hidden something very big from you, I have a five-year-old son Yi-hyun" he says, and you gasp "Oh my god, tae why did you hide this for so long?" you question, he fiddles with his fingers and explains his insecurities and chances of you leaving him.
"No tae, I would never, in fact, I love children and I would really love to spend my whole life with you." You blush as those words come out and Taehyung giggles, "I'll be more than glad and feel honored to stay with you for the rest of my life."
Taehyung gazes into your eyes, his eyes full of love and promises, the gentle breeze makes the few whips of your flix fly, and he thinks you look so pretty, soon the calm breeze carries out your wedding vows and seals all the promises of this lifetime commitment.
Yi-hyun stands right in the middle of you and Taehyung's parents, an uproar of cheers and claps filled the atmosphere when you exchange your rings. Glancing at him, you give a flying kiss and he acts to catch it, your husband won't stop at looking you with heart eyes.
It was soon evening while you and your husband basked in the warmth of newly wed love, surrounded by all your supporting family and friends. He occasionally steals a few kisses from you when you both slow danced and enjoyed the dance until it was time to make your grand exit and walk hand in hand till you reached your car.Your parents insisted on keeping your son for a couple of days until you come back from the honeymoon.
"Yi- hyun, don't trouble your grandparents okay baby? Be a good boy for me and your mom okay?" Your husband tells your son and he nods , he kisses yours and his father's and climbs down from his grasp and tells you both a "goodbye".
"Let's go baby been waiting for this day ever since I met you, gonna fuck you hard," Taehyung says with lust-filled eyes, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. He lays a few soft pecks, soliciting a gasp from you, letting out the smallest whimper of his name.
The ride to your house was short, your husband helped to get you out of the car and quickly thanked the driver, not even a minute later your back meets the door of your penthouse as your husband starts to devour your mouth with his, heavy kisses full of spit coats your lips.
You were taken aback for a few seconds until your mind processes his action, kissing your lover back with the same burning passion, you struggle a bit until you get the keys from the back pocket of Taehyung's pants.
"One Sec baby, let me just open this, and we can go inside," you say almost breathlessly in between kisses, turning around. Once inside, both you and his clothes join the ground soon. "I'll go slow baby okay? It's your first time, right? Gonna savour every last moment of this." Taehyung assures you, and you nod.
Never in your twenty-two years of living did you have sex with your boyfriend. Sex was a whole different thing you’ve yet to experience but you weren't a saint when it came to it either, the curious teen in you would look up porn and even tried masturbating before, but you just didn’t feel anything from it, you thought you were doing something wrong.
Taehyung helped you to get comfortable in the bed whilst he removes the last piece of his clothing, his boxers, while you had kept your panties on, feeling your cunt coating the plumpness of his lips with your slick. You moan at the movement as he hovers above you, "ready baby?" your husband sweetly asks, you nod and voice a simple "yes.”
Soft, gentle kisses are first felt on your neck and the light touch of his fingertips tickles your lower belly, coming dangerously close to your core. His nimble fingers nudge the bow on your lace panties, sucking in your breath when he slowly goes down to explore the rest of your body, sucking on your skin lightly as he trails his way down. Soon purple hues are decorated all over you.
Once he faces your core, his hot breath leaves you tingly inside, whimpering out his name as he slowly licks a wet strip of over the fabric of your panties and sucks on the ball of your clit, repeating his languid motion again and again, his eyes watching you above him. You’re left nothing short of a moaning mess, "fuck feels so good tae, just like that baby.." you express him how good he’s making you feel when he sucks and licks you over your panties, this new sensation was like no other.
Soon after a while he completely removes them off your body, groaning at the mess you made and his fingers rub over it so he could have some of you on his fingers. "Open baby" he affirms, you ecstatically take them in your mouth sucking off each finger one by one, he chuckles and bites back a moan. He thinks you’re the sexiest woman he’s ever seen.
"Gonna finger you baby, stay calm okay? I promise it's gonna soon feel okay." He assures and slowly inserts one of his fingers, you moan out loud as it feels different from what you felt while playing with yourself.
One finger soon turned into two and you felt something weird coming out, "Taehyung stop-stop, something's coming out," you breathlessly warn but he tells you to go on and doesn’t stop fingering you, only upping his pace. Liquid soon gushes out, "fuck baby, pretty girl" never failing to fluster you and make you blush, shying away and looking everywhere but his eyes.
His frame hovers above yours and tells you to rest properly, "Baby, is it okay?" He asks before continuing. His hard cock brushing over your soaked pussy lips, itching to be inside your warm cunt, his fingers part your lips while you involuntarily twitch, feeling weightless as his thumb rubs gentle circles along your sensitive clit. "Ready y/n? Look we don't have to do it tonight you can always back out baby" he says while you whimper at the loss. "N-no want it so bad I can take it" you eagerly said, leaning in to kiss his lips. "It might hurt at first, but then it's going to be okay, I promise my darling." With that, he slowly aligns himself with you and enters inside, causing you to both moan in unison.
Kissing your forehead to calm you down when he sees faint tears brimming your eyes, he pulls out just enough so he can spit in between you two to make the slide much easier. He notices some blood as you were still a virgin— up until now, beads of sweat drip from the sides of him and some of it lands onto your boobs. He attached his lips to suckle them, seeing your pretty mouth open wide and decides to slip his finger in, your body rises a bit when he tells you to see the bloody mess and you whimper while he pets your head with his other hand.
"Calm down baby you’re gripping me so hard.." he groans from the way you’re sucking him up and you try your best to relax your muscles and try to enjoy this feeling while occasionally kissing him, moaning at his touches. He rests his forehead on top of yours and soon he cums inside, gasping from his overwhelming orgasm, he slowly pushes himself up and removes his now softened cock. You feel the cum dripping down to your ass. “Wait up baby, I'm gonna get something to clean you up.” He smiles dotingly and you nod back at him.
Soon he cleans you both up and brings you a glass of water to drink, he’s cuddling with you as his fingers lace with yours. Soft kisses resound the room until you both knock down in each other's embrace.
You decide to wake him up with a good, morning blow job but who knew it would be him to be waking you up instead.
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avisisisis · 11 months
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Seeing people saying that Satoru doesn't actually care about Suguru and that the only reason Kenjaku caught him was bc he was surprised to see a person he killed alive is fucking wild, man
Like. Gojo's entire life revolves around Geto. The entire series happens because he loved Suguru too much to kill him, even though he knew he would have to do it eventually. The world literally went to shit because he wasn't over him
Geto Suguru's life would be completely unimportant to the story without Gojo Satoru, and Gojo Satoru's would be completely unimportant without Geto Suguru. They complement each other. They need each other
Two male betta fishes can't coexist. They will fight and one will die. They can't see each other — even if they're in different tanks, they won't be able to live. They'd eventually tire each other out, resulting in death. The only way for Satoru and Suguru's lives to be able to continue without the other would've been for them to never have met at all. And they can't be together. Not now, not ever again. Not while they're still alive. Not after everything that's happened
The entire story revolves around their relationship. Yuuji is a boy who ate a curse('s finger[s]), and Megumi is the prodigy who befriends him. Satoru is a prodigy, the strongest, and Suguru, the boy whose technique is eating curses, befriends him. The Jujutsu Kaisen story is all about parallels and they all connect to fucking Satosugu. It's all about them
The only reason Kenjaku's plan worked is because the body he used didn't belong to some random person Gojo killed, it worked because the body he used was Geto Suguru's, Gojo's one and only, his best friend. He must be thinking “Thank god they're gay” right now lmao
Gojo fucking hesitated. He hesitated multiple times when it came to Geto. He was supposed to kill him, yet he let him go. He has the Six Eyes, he could've easily tracked him down. He probably could tell if he was nearby (he can recognize Suguru from his scent) and just didn't go looking for him. And he could've so very easily escaped the trap that was set up for him, he was going to run away from it because we see him about to take that step but then Suguru's body shows up and says “Yo, Satoru!” with Suguru's voice and Satoru freezes and hesitates
They weren't able to let go of each other even after years of being separated (like a decade). When they meet, Suguru still greets Satoru warmly
Suguru is pretty much Satoru's moral code. He was the only person Satoru took at least mildly seriously pre-Toji (and we know Satoru just didn't do serious back then). He actually took his words to heart. He was kind, of course (especially from Suguru's PoV, since he's the person that knows him most), and not a bad person, but he wasn't nice. Suguru was always the ‘nice(r) one’, the one who actually had a moral code, while Satoru was more of an asshole to literally everyone and everything (some more, some less), thinking he and Suguru were above everyone else
When Suguru finally snaps (which, honestly. Fair) and goes genocidal (not so fair), Satoru slowly starts to be somewhat nicer and starts applying Suguru's old moral code to his own being — their roles weren't exactly reversed, but now they're not together anymore, so they might as well be. And Suguru was shown for having faith in the school and its system while it was Satoru the one who absolutely abhorred the higher-ups and all kinds of authority, but then it ended up with Suguru being the one to leave and become a cult leader with the blood of hundreds on his hands while Satoru was the one that stayed behind in the same place of the people he despises so much
(Imagine someone saying something like “Sometimes I doubt you even have a moral code” and Gojo answers with “Oh, my best friend my one and only is pretty much my moral code. He went homicidal a while back but it's okay haha” “...Actually, that explains a few things”)
Gojo doesn't have a god complex, but I wouldn't blame him if he did. I mean, he might as well be the closest thing to god human beings have ever seen. He used to put himself above everyone else, when he was a teenager. He thought that, the higher he was, the more he could do. And no one was better than him. But not Suguru. Back then, it wasn't “I'm the strongest” it was “We're the strongest and “We're the best” and “We're the ones that will beat you” and “We're the duo” and it was all about “us, us, us, us, us” instead of “me, me, me, me” like people thought it was — they were a pair. They still are
We know people thought and still think of Gojo as a weapon. As something that must be controlled, because on the moment he decides he doesn't want to be around them anymore, he could just straight up kill then without any effort (but getting rid of people in positions of power only gets other people in positions of power and it'll be a neverending story, and Gojo knows this so he's trying to do his best to fix it all through the younger generation, by letting them live). And we also know that Suguru is one of the very few people who did not believe that at all
Like their personalities and characters and stories and literally everything, their names complement each other. Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru are such similar names, I get them mixed up all the time (the amount of times I've called them “Gojo Suguru” and “Geto Satoru” is embarassing. Also, “Saturu”. “Goto”. “Gejo”. Ugh). Both of their last names start with a G, end with an O and have 4 letters. Both of their given names start with an S, end with an U and have 6 letters. They complement each other. They need each other
The only times we've seen Gojo with an expression of actual pure, raw emotion is when it's about Geto. When he finds out about what Geto did, when he realizes how thin and wrong Geto looks, when he sees him again for what we assume to be the first time in years, when he dies, when a thing wearing his corpse and using his voice greets him (“Yo, Satoru!” oh my god)
Suguru was able to fight back when in Kenjaku's control after Satoru said his name. Kenjaku himself says that had never happened before
And you don't even have to see them as romantic. You don't have to ship them if you don't want to. But you can't deny that they care about each other more than they will ever care about anyone else
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beescake · 3 months
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PLEASE PLEASE MEGADUMP THE ARASOL!!! PLEAAASEE MR BEESCAKE I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING YOU
HFHGHD GLADLY aaa i’ve been adding notes to it here and there for months but just hesitant to post it bcs im 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂
also this is just my own takeaway of the events, it doesn’t necessarily comply to the Ultimate Truth of Canon-Alignment or represent the actual facts of what hussie intended! v sentimental smh but hopefully its still interesting to read
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i love when characters inform each other by proximity, it's one of my fave things to see in media :') it feels even more significant when two characters deliberately choose to stick together, so that when one operates, you can tell the other is similarly aligned in associative solidarity.
sollux is a keystone of this trope — whoever he aligns with is a wordless statement, a nod of approval. this stood out to me bcs the main four humans were alr friends by default, but once you reach hivebent you realize the trolls can actively choose who they want to hang out with.
and as we all know, after assessing every troll's biases/loyalties, sollux is the only one who maintains his selective preference for innately Good 👍 people.
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aradia is such a beautiful character honestly, she evokes such incredible feelings in me. she might not have been consistently written with care but the best parts of her character are truly stunning. i think it's easy to remember sollux as the self-sacrificing one bc he's so open about it (and his friends frequently react to his Moments) but when you compare him to aradia, it's always struck me
how much more. raw it is
to be so alone as an agent of time, having to orchestrate immeasurably harrowing events nobody understands or gives a fuck about
with your role painted in the story as one who must tend to the needs of the narrative, responsible to match every next note
because when you're given the capabilities, it becomes your duty to carry it out.
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it becomes expected of you to keep experimenting and arranging the machinations to work for everyone, dusting off hundreds of necessary failures to keep going
and having to be so unwavering in your drive knowing miserably that there's no one who can help you but yourself.
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or alternatively: to make things fun! so other people won't think twice about letting you go off on your own.
sure she's had some very good buds, notably thanks to Team Charge v Team Scourge antics.
and yet, at the end of the day, the one friend that kept choosing her time and time again was the friend with the highest standards.
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i can see why people like to define arasol as moirails/matesprits but surprisingly i find the nondescript, unlabeled aspect of their relationship more straightforward to understand.
there's no shortage of people who would accommodate sollux. most of the surviving trolls are his oldest friends bcs he’d chosen them well. his transparency with his feelings had built him strong friendships that won’t falter or break, regardless of how much of a dick he can be. they’ve already seen and accepted him at his worst, and they still like him for who he is.
contrast that with aradia, who'd been so approachable, friendly and reliable in her exchanges it was super fun to talk to her. but the moment she became depressed, all her connections broke down.
her friends became hesitant to interact with her (until she became god tier, “happy” and amicable again) because her gloom and resignation didn’t serve them. she dealt with it alone.
there’s def something of note here abt the disparity between the way male & female characters are written+perceived in homestuck (esp parallel arasol with davejade) but i won’t go into that lmaoo
with this in mind i like to think of sollux as a gift to her, a loyal companion given to complement and commend her resolve. she's capable of doing so much alone but hussie took the time to build her and sollux's relationship as one of a unit; a set.
the ambiguity of their status does complicate things, but i do believe it makes sense with their characters. aradia's relationship with romance is a rocky one, the dubious stringalong equius had with her is a pointed reminder that her feelings of attraction are ultimately controlled by the author writing her.
unlike the other trolls who can openly address and own up to their crushes, aradia had romantic emotions forced upon her (especially when hussie implies 'she kissed equius back on her own volition'). and it seems like her character is so intrinsically neutral abt attraction that even when forced by the almighty powers above, she's unable to retain it wholly.
however, looking back to pre-game when she could actually "choose" her own feelings, she did have a crush on sollux.
their soft spots for each other were so obvious to the point where other people could see it.
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taunting aside, when vriska comments on their unit as bf/gf it actually informs the audience that arasol's relationship is romantic in nature despite not aligning with the quadrant system.
even while dead, aradia could still describe her care for sollux, expressing that she would like to see him happy. if they had more time to explore their relationship on alternia, it's possible they could've settled in a quadrant once they grew older.
but going back to the lack of labels, their dynamic was affected once more when aradia became god tier.
to me, her ascension was both the perfect culmination and possible closure of her character. it's the light at the end of her journey toiling through countless of timelines where she had to actively assess and participate. that's why it's cool to see her being silly and having fun giving guidance, passively exploring and watching other people do their parts.
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and yet the joy of her freedom makes it hard to explore further introspection. if we take her by her word, she'd already come to terms with the hurt she's been through and forgiven those involved.
i can't help feeling attuned to how impersonal and detached it can be, to devote and meld your identity so completely with your designated position as Maid of Time until you've become hard for your old friends (and even some readers!) to personally connect to.
idk post-canon but i assume there’s some degree of similarity to be bridged here with aradia's god tier and how the hs2 humans' Ultimate forms was described as a consolidation of all their possibilities. since aradia's classpect is inherently of service to Time, going god-tier may have elevated her beyond personhood with the "game construct" possessing her entirely. sollux doesn't realize the extent of it bcs he's still mortal, but a part of him may have subconsciously understood this.
i think there is a core aspect to aradia that was lost to the dehumanizing glory of god tier — a core aspect that may have contained an element of why sollux enjoyed talking to her in the first place.
to him, aradia hadn't just been a nice girl, she was a cool girl. despite not having much in common, he's still willing to chill next to her so she's not alone while she does what needs to get done.
back on alternia, they held a mutual and equal-level regard for each other that could've definitely settled into something permanent. but now, he's placed himself in a position where he can be kept around or left behind at will. the parameters of the relationship are largely in aradia's court, so any label she suggests to identify their relationship with he's likely to accept.
but that's why it's so difficult to label it. because god tier aradia may not necessarily Want quadrants or relationship labels. rather than the initial romantic attachment, their commitment to each other had evolved into one fundamentally of companionship.
no label? ok fine. no matter what, he still thinks she's a good soul worth latching on to. the best, actually. aradia > everyone else.
even if it gets stilted at times. there's an unexpected struggle to connect when sollux's go-to default for talking points is his feelings about things, and aradia may not want to talk about emotions all the time.
not to mention god tier aradia became an observer, especially of chaos. but sollux's avoidance of involvement comes partially from his innate pressure to get involved if something goes wrong. and he can't always tell when something goes wrong, because aradia doesn't mind if things go wrong anymore.
it's a non-negotiable preference that causes them to take the occasional time apart, a new boundary that wouldn't have existed before the game and aradia's god tier.
but just like how his friends tolerated his moods, sollux accepts aradia as she is. with no quadrants, their connection doesn't break down because there's no implicit romantic expectations to be disappointed by or resentful over.
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sometimes when i see hs content that deliberately distances sollux from aradia, i assume this is the dissonance people might have felt. people might find it "easier" to be cynical about them bcs of this strange tension.
but idc lmao. grab that shit by the neck
lack of easy resolutions and cleanly tied ribbons is pretty standard of homestuck and imo it doesn't make arasol's dynamic any less incredible. with the right affection and consideration, there's still so much potential to develop the nuance of their relationship outside of the popular quadrant-based depictions.
hs has a lot of really great character compatibilities but the way aradia and sollux are in their own special orbit is why i can write this much about them in the first place. it's that frail innocence between first loves that makes it so sweet to me, two kids who grew up too fast playing guesswork without being clear where they're going.
ultimately i do think you're meant to feel a little tragedy for just how much they care for each other, even if they can't quite establish it in simple terms.
maybe they keep taking breaks to progress their own paths. maybe they remain as anchor partners while seeing other people. but even if you decide to separate them, they're still (awkwardly) texting each other updates all the while. and when they reunite it feels like coming home.
and well. more than anything, i like to believe that they do want to be exclusive.
they're just afraid. after all, they're still learning how to love, beyond the projections of the foursquare quadrant system they had inadvertently distanced themselves from since young.
they might not have everything figured out, but they'll get there eventually if you just hold them together and write them there.
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optional post-canon segment:
one of the limitations of main hs is that (monogamous) relationships are often written as the go-to solution to wrap up character growth; it's an easy "patch" to imagine characters getting their happy ending because they have a partner, and those who don't end up with someone don't get that closure (most notably jade).
hs2 reaffirms this by suggesting that aradia's character cannot progress without letting sollux go, because happily settling in a relationship automatically locks your potential.
that pathetic panel of sollux staring emptily into the sky is still my fave hs2 spoiler ngl i find the impact of their parting so emotionally provoking precisely bcs they were written in original hs to be each other's forever, coming back together again and again
but now, they're subject to the decisions of the post-canon authors who might choose to deviate from that.
it's not new for them to part, but now there's an underlying worry that her dropping him off this time might be the last time. while i think the prospect of shattering their stability to make them grow separately sounds fun on paper, no amount of me desperately hoping for a good execution is gonna guarantee it
idk. i guess prediction-wise im expecting sollux in classic dramatic-hs2 fashion to tell dave to back off aradia LMAO. otherwise it's just gon be sollux and karkat pathetically watching aradia and dave from a distance swimming in their unresolved feelings for narratively-powerful time players smh obvs it sounds corny as hell but who knows its still plausible
srsly tho i hope they take the opportunity to develop arasol's relationship in a fresh direction that doesn't hurt me too badly...... and i hope they force sollux out of his comfort zone. i like watching him struggle :-)
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hrover5 · 7 months
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The start of episode 8 really drives home the idea that without each other, Ed and Stede are out there just being oddball, really weird (affectionate) little guys on their own. The world just doesn’t appreciate or understand them, not in the way that they understand each other.
Stede’s not there to appreciate Ed’s strange little way of saying grace, to giggle and “yes and” whatever he comes up with, or to admire the admittedly few but very nice fish he caught.
Ed’s not there to tell Stede he’s not a failure (“look at all this cool shit you’ve done, mate!”) or to tell him that yes, we need a plan and hey! That’s a good start/cool idea. Zheng Yi Sao is understandably struggling, but I can’t help but think Ed would be the complete opposite of “can you please stop/shut up for a hot second, Bonnet?”
Props to the writers for creating characters that fit and complement each other so well that they really just don’t shine as brightly when they’re not together, and we the audience can see and feel it.
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comradekatara · 2 months
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i think in general we have a tendency to dismiss early book 1 atla episodes (with a few key exceptions) because it’s clear that the show was still kind of getting its bearings and generally didn’t hit its full stride until book 2. but i think “imprisoned” in particular is really underrated as an episode, and actually does for katara what “the warriors of kyoshi” does for sokka. what i mean by that is, both episodes showcase these characters’ unique capacity for excellence: in sokka’s case, “the warriors of kyoshi” serves as our first real introduction to his scientific approach to synthesizing new information and adjusting his worldview accordingly, his capacity for growth, humility, and open-mindedness; and in katara’s case, “imprisoned” is our first demonstration of katara’s indomitable revolutionary spirit as she fights for justice and to liberate all oppressed peoples wherever she goes, her capacity to inspire others coupled with her righteous anger and unyielding belief in doing what’s right. these are traits that define each character, respectively, and they are first introduced to us through these early episodes. each episode also starts with them making a mistake (sokka misogynistically belittles the kyoshi warriors, katara naively misjudges a situation that results in haru’s arrest) that leads them to then demonstrate their unique ability to rectify it. sokka not only apologizes to the kyoshi warriors, but is then trained by suki in a way that positions him as her equal. katara not only risks her own safety to find haru, but also liberates the entire prison rig in the process.
haru is also positioned as a love interest who complements katara perfectly, much in the same way that suki is to sokka. of course, haru is not katara’s “primary” love interest in the way suki is sokka’s, but they’re both established through very similar frames, and if not for katara’s other, more prominent love interest also being the literal titular character and thus overshadowing haru (the one (mustache-less) episode wonder), i think that people would realize that katara and haru are actually pretty perfect together. (also i need to believe that they kissed offscreen in this episode. jet cannot have been katara’s first kiss that’s just tragic.) i used to be someone who dismissed haru as some boring background mustache boy, and never really paid much attention to this episode because it struggles with that sort of early book 1 forgettability (you all know what i mean), but haru is actually a really well-constructed love interest for katara, and katara just really shines in this episode in general. i mean, she literally infiltrates a labor camp, gives a beautiful, passionate speech about the necessity of resistance, supplies them with weapons, and helps them to drown their captors. so i just think that we should all have more appreciation for “imprisoned.” it’s not remotely the best episode of atla, but if you love katara (and who doesn’t), then you should really consider revisiting it.
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specshroom · 5 months
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★~Kirara and Hakari flirting with you~★
(No actual smut but it's steamy so Read More just cus)
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It starts with Kirara flirting with you to make Hakari jealous. Not anything serious, she just wanted to see what would happen.
She does this by paying more attention to you, touching you more, complementing you more and just being more flirtatious in general. Hakari knows what she's doing obviously, he does find it amusing that you don't seem to know what's going on.
So one day you're training your technique in the fight club training room and they're just watching from the side on a battered couch. Hakari pulls her onto his lap.
"You don't think I know what you're doing?" He says down at her, lazily stroking his hand up her thigh.
She pouts at him, "I don't know what you're talking about, Kin."
He scoffs and looks over at where you're trying to perfect a specific stance for your technique.
"Didn't even work, That dumbass can't take a hint." He mumbles resting his head back, still watching you.
"Well maybe I should try harder."
Kirara says, staring at the same place her boyfriend is.
"Good luck with that, Babe" he chuckles out patting her thigh.
She huffs at the condescending tone and brings all her attention back to him. "Cmon~ you never thought about it Kin?"
"bout what?" He knows what she's talking about and yes, he definitely has but he wants her to say it.
"bout the three of us..." she trails her slender fingers up his chest, looking up at him with lidded eyes, "Together."
Her fingers trails up his neck as she leaves light kisses there and he slides his hand up under the hem of her shorts to squeeze her ass. He leans back and hums for her to continue. She leans closer to his ear, "You could fuck them while they fuck me, or we could both suck you off." Her hand goes to palm the growing bulge in his pants as he smirks and closes his eyes, imagining the pretty picture she's painting for him. "Or we could fuck and have them watch, or you could both double team me, or we could-"
"OH MY GOD! COULD YOU GUYS NOT FUCK IN FRONT OF ME FOR EVEN A SECOND??!"
They both pause and turn their heads to look at you with wide eyes. You stand there, hands on your hips in your compression shirt and sweatpants. You've been trying to concentrate on your training while the lovers mumble and whisper to each other about whatever.
You've gotten used to feeling like a third wheel being around them so often, living with them, working with them. That doesn't mean it didn't bother you when you look over at them and they're half way to fucking right there!
After a second of silence they both let out light laughs. Both amused at your bothered state and the fact that they'd gotten so distracted with their shared daydream.
"Sorry, Y/n!" Kirara yells back, trying to look apologetic. Hakari grins at you and stands up, hauling Kirara in his arms as he walks out of the training room, a clear destination in mind. Kirara giggles as Hakari kisses her neck, her eyes still on you, waving goodbye as the door closes behind them.
You huff in disbelief, looking around the now empty room, definitely not imagining what your two friends are doing together in their room. You go back to training, trying to ignore the heat building in your lower regions.
After this, the couple gets a lot more touchy in front of you, even more than they already were. They also get more touchy with you. Hakari touches your waist and lower back when he's walking past you, he presses you up against the kitchen counter pretending he's trying to reach something above you. Kirara snuggles up to you on the couch and even gives you "friendly" cheek kisses. They also get much louder when they fuck, their moans and bed squeaking being very audible from your room right next door. Unknown to you, they can also hear the frustrated hushed groans coming from your side of the wall right after they fuck.
Safe to say you're pretty sexually frustrated as you sit on the couch trying to watch TV. The two menaces smirk at each other in the hallway, Hakari pats Kirara on her ass, encouraging her to prance into the living room and plop herself right next to you.
"Hey Y/n, You doing alright?"
She feigns concern, pressing up to your side, arms hugging one of yours.
"I'm fine, why?" You answer, confusion present in the tone.
"Well you just seem kinda...moody." She says leaning her cheek on your shoulder.
"Moody?" You arch a brow at her.
"Yeah, just- I dunno. You seem bothered, pent-up....tense." she starts massaging your arm before she places a hand on your thigh.
"Is there anything I can do?"
She says leaning closer to say it into your ear. That's when you realise what's actually happening.
"Uh No Kira it's alright. I'm f-" As you try to get up she pulls you down again and straddles you. Your wide eyes look into her pretty droopy ones, your hands hover in the air on either side of her waist, not sure what to do.
She runs her hands up your chest and shoulders, lowering herself until she rests her groin on yours. You sigh at the feeling and the way she's looking at you until you snap yourself out of it.
"What about Hakari?" Genuine concern very present in your hushed voice. As annoying as the couple was you didn't want to be the reason a perfectly good relationship ends.
"What about me?" A low voice hums right next to your ear, you were so caught up you didn't even notice Hakari leaning over the back of the couch. You suck in a breath, Is he mad at me? Is he mad at Kirara? Am I a homewrecker? You're so caught up in your panic that it takes you a minute to register Hakari's tone. Not one of anger but instead very amused.
Kirara giggles at your reaction and takes your hands in hers to place them on her bare waist. "Poor Y/n, so frustrated, huh Kin?" She says while softly kissing up your neck along your jaw, her cold piercings making you shiver. She slowly starts to grind down on your crotch. Hakari hums in agreement and gently places a hand around your neck to keep you from squirming away while he slowly kisses and licks down the other side of your neck to your shoulder.
"We can help with that." He says against the skin where your shoulder and neck meet before biting down.
You're soooo fucked.
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jester-lover · 5 months
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if it’s not too much trouble can i please request savannaclaw, octavinelle, and diaspmnia with a starfire-like reader?
-much love,
anon
Hi anon! This was an amazing request, as I personally love dc comics, but I did take the liberty of shortening the post down to the dorm leaders, I hope this is okay!
Feat/ Leona, Azul, Malleus
CWs/ fluff, fem! Reader, I used og comic version and the teen titans cartoon version as reference
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Leona
A significant other who embodies Starfire-like traits would be absolutely perfect for Leona. Most of the traits that embody Starfire—this deep loyalty, strength, and kindness—are, in his opinion, all ideal for a significant other.
Leona would probably overdo it in terms of wooing you, probably because your sheer radiance kind of scares him. (But the second you two are together, he’s going to brag about you any chance he gets.)
Leona would be wrapped around your little finger, but never admit it. Anything you want, you get.
One of the other traits you possess is a deep affection for your loved ones, something that Leona is put off by at first but learns to love over time.
Your energy clashes with his general laziness, but when it comes to Spelldrive, he would love practicing with you.
“How do you not tire yourself out, flying around everywhere..?”
Azul
Do y'all know the Jessica and Roger Rabbit trope? 
He is so surprised when an objectively attractive, strong, and cheerful goddess-like girl such as yourself is asking him out.
Azul’s ego is flying.
Canonically, Starfire is over 6 feet tall; if height is a trait you also possess, he’ll be really happy. I hc Azul as a tall woman appreciator, partially because he likes seeing you peer over other people.
(And mostly because he likes powerful women.)
Azul is also fond of your fire abilities; he thinks they complement his well. He finds the green shade of those flames really beautiful.
“Dearest, could you please reach that book at the top shelf for me?”
Malleus
You two are literally designed for one another. We know that despite his stoic personality, he holds an affectionate fascination for certain things, like gargoyles or simple technology. I think this would greatly complement a Starfire-like girl.
This similarity in personality is made even bolder by the fact that both of you use green fire, a trait that earns you his praise.
The two of you honestly just have such a deep adoration for each other; the similarities of your gentle yet stern mannerisms, along with your royal statuses, make you an ideal co-ruler as well as an ideal partner for the future King of Briar Valley.
Malleus loves the gentleness and positivity of your personality and how sweetly you act toward not only him but his dear retainers as well.
He finds the fact that the sun is the source of your power to be a gorgeous contrast to him, a leader of nocturnal fae. Your own beauty both contrasts and highlights his.
“How does your light shine so brightly?”
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danikamariewrites · 6 months
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Meant to Be
Mob!Azriel x reader AU
A/n: I’m so excited to start this little series! I hope you all enjoy this and thank you for being patient with me. I know I’ve been all over the place lately lol. Also I might change the pov I use in the next fics but we’ll see.
Warnings: none
Series Masterlist
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As I’m just about to shut the front desk computer down, the glass door to the gallery swings open. Holding back rolling my eyes, I lift my head ready to tell whoever it is that we're closing. I stop, my lips partially open as my eyes meet the most gorgeous, soft hazel ones. On a beautifully sculpted face with a sharp jawline and soft raven hair. The words died in my throat. Changing to, “How can I help you?”
Gods I need to stop staring. If Feyre was still here she would be making fun of me for ogling the poor male while using my stupid customer service voice. He gives me a bright smile before speaking. “I’m looking for a new piece for my office. The walls are feeling a little bare.” Mother above he sounds like an angel.
I froze again. I’m technically not supposed to be selling paintings to clients, especially walk-ins and new ones. But my boss left me in charge for the rest of the day. It’s Gavin’s own fault he blew off work for a spa day. And I had to help Gavin list all the paintings, so I can absolutely sell one of these bad boys. I was amazed by how much Gavin didn’t know when these paintings came in. And he has the audacity to call himself an art collector.
“Absolutely. Are you looking for anything specific or I can show you a few of my favorite pieces if you’d like.”
As I stand I look around the room to see if anyone else is in the gallery. Two males with similar tan skin and dark hair stand by the door. The more muscular one slightly smirks at me before staring ahead again. I look back at the male in front of me, taking in his suit, the expensive watch, and the thick silver signet ring on his index finger gleaming in the light. Staring at the ring closely I can make out a family crest engraved on the flat surface. Morwood.
The male standing in front of me is notorious mob boss Azriel Morwood. Recovering quickly I smile up at Azriel, burying any kind of fear that was working its way up my spine. He isn’t here to hurt me. He’s here to buy art. Harmless.
Relaxing, I walk around the desk, gesturing to the left of the gallery. “This way then.” Azriel holds out his arm for me to take, that bright smile never once leaving his lips. Although it might not be the most professional thing to do, I loop my arm through his.
As we go from painting to painting Azriel seems to relax as well. We fall into easy conversation. At times it feels like we were childhood friends catching up. His flirtatious comments made me blush and fumble over my words. At the risk of being unprofessional again, I flirt back. There’s no denying the male is beautiful. I’m sure he’s kind under all of those dangerous layers. I can’t help the pull I feel toward him, to know more about Azriel. I should feel ashamed of this attraction. Azriel has done awful things but that feeling isn’t taking over.
“And that’s it for this collection. Is there anything else that’s caught your eye?” I ask, regretfully pulling away from Azriel as I snap back into my customer service voice. A stark contrast to the normal flirty tone I was just using. He seemed to take his time thinking. Azriel’s hazel eyes seem to twinkle as he looks at me. “That Blanch piece, I loved the two you showed me.” “Of course.” I lead him to the middle of the section where the two paintings hang side by side.
He looks at the two trying to decide between the two. “Which is your favorite?” I look at him, taken aback by Azriel Morwood asking for my opinion. “Well…I can’t choose between the two. Truthfully, I believe Blanch created these pieces to complement each other. They’re from two different collections but you can tell by the edge of the scenery they are meant to be together.” Azriel let out a thoughtful hum as he crossed his arms.
I try not to stare at him too blatantly but I just can’t help myself. His thinking face is cute. I can tell he’s concentrating. “I’ll take both.” My eyes widened. I'm so shocked I took half a step back. “I’m sorry?” I realize that it came out harsher than expected. “Sorry, I just - really? You want to buy both?” A half smile tugs at the corner of his lips as Azriel turns to face me. “If they are meant to be together it would be a crime to separate them.” There was something insinuating in that seductive tone of his. The hopeful look in his eyes gave it away. Something told me Azriel rarely let something like that slip. I give him a genuine half smile of my own. “Of course.”
Fifteen minutes and one giant check later Azriel had bought his paintings with the promise to come pick them up after they were framed tomorrow. Finally closing the gallery I went home and dreamed of him that night.
——
Walking down the sunny streets of Velaris I’m lost in thought about Azriel. How I want to run my fingers to see if those raven locks are truly as soft as they look. Those hazel eyes and how I never want them to lose sight of me.
My phone incessantly buzzing in my bag pulls me from my thoughts. I groan as I search for it in the clutter of stuff I threw in this morning. Fifteen texts from Feyre and more incoming light up the lock screen.
Girl get here soon
Gavin is piissseeddd
What did u do lmao
He won’t tell me, plz tell me so I know before him. I wanna taunt him with this secret info
Oh boy. He must not be pleased about the new client. I quickly type out a text telling her I’d be there soon. Shoving my phone back in my bag, my pounding heart seems as loud as my footsteps. I’m practically jogging by the time I enter the gallery.
Feyre looks up at me from the desk. A wild and confused look is on her face like she was just handed the winning lottery ticket. “He’s been on the phone with Benny all morning. I could hear him screaming, what did you do?” A nervous laugh sounds on the last word.
As I open my mouth to answer the door to Gavin’s office flings open, hitting the wall inside with a violent thud. “You!” He seethes. “Why didn’t you call me about the client last night?!” He screeches as he stomps over to the desk like a child. “What was I supposed to do? Say, sorry, come back later? It was Azriel Morwood.” Feyre lets out a dramatic gasp leaning back in the spinny chair. Her eyes bounce between us, waiting to see what wild statement her ears will be blessed with next.
“I know damn well who the client was, and you’re not supposed to make sales! Remember? Or has your sense of self importance around here made it hard for you to remember that you're a fucking intern! And you have no right —” a throat clearing makes Gavin stop his berating. His face went pale as his eyes landed on Azriel and the two males flanking him.
Azriel raises a brow giving Gavin a quizzical look. Gavin puts on a fake smile striding to greet our guests. “Hello Mr. Morwood! How can I help you today? Is there a problem with your purchase that I can fix?” He shoots me a glare that I don’t notice. All I notice is Azriel. It feels like the whole world has melted away and it’s just us.
“No.” His tone cruel and cold. “I would like to talk to y/n. Alone.” He emphasizes the last word by pinning Gavin with a look that would send anyone running. The shock on Gavin’s face is fucking priceless as he backs away murmuring an apology.
I slowly approach Azriel trying to suppress my grin. He watches me with a gentle gaze. That charming smile pulling on his lips again. “Hi,” Mother above that deep, gravelly voice gives me chills. “Hi.” I whisper back. “Your paintings should be ready soon. I saw the framer when I came in.” Azriel slowly shakes his head. “No, not that. Well, yes, I’m here for the paintings. But I wanted to ask you something.” I blink up at him curiously tilting my head. What could he possibly want from me?
“Are you free for dinner tomorrow night?”
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capricorn-season · 1 year
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Homophobia in drag
When I was a young boy, I loved spending the night at my grandmother’s house. There, I could stay up as late as I wanted, and in the morning, there would always be Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast. But the best part was raiding the closet in her basement, which was full of the gowns she had worn in the 1960s and 1970s – frilly pink and purple confections made of lace, chiffon and silk. I would put them on and watch The Golden Girls, sophisticatedly sipping Coke from a wine glass.
When I was nine, my dad bought a video camera, a giant monstrosity that my siblings and I struggled to balance on our shoulders while we filmed home videos. Alone, I’d prop the camera on the coffee table and record myself modelling various outfits, explaining to the camera why this plaid shirt went with these cargo shorts, or why this teal Starter jacket complemented these acid-washed jeans so perfectly. I captured on camera the dance I had painstakingly choreographed to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch’s ‘Good Vibrations’.
As a kid, I followed my two older sisters around like a shadow, mimicking their mannerisms – the way they tucked loose strands of hair behind their ears when they were concentrating on their maths homework; the way they jutted their hips whenever they were talking to cute boys. Like them, I was a naturally athletic kid. My favourite sport was lacrosse, but I much preferred to play with the girls instead of the boys. The boys were quick to push and shove, and they loved to whack each other with their aluminium sticks. Girls relied more on their speed, their reflexes and the skills they’d honed to keep the ball securely cradled in the shallow mesh of their wooden sticks.
I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian community – most people would call it a cult. From kindergarten to the sixth grade, I attended the community’s tiny school. Because enrollment was so low, there was no in-crowd, no separate cliques of jocks and geeks. In retrospect, I’m sure my classmates and especially my teachers noticed my gender-nonconformity – all of my home videos prove that it was glaring – but it went largely ignored. All that mattered was that we were good Christians, that we loved Jesus and evangelised God’s Word to as many people as possible. When I learned about homosexuals in Bible class, or about AIDS (which we were told God had created to punish homosexuals for their sins), I didn’t think for a moment that I was one of them. Sure, my first real crush, when I was 11, had been on a boy – Elijah Wood, an actor about my age whose performance in the 1994 B-movie, North, had captured my heart. But at the time, before sexual maturity, I mistook the longing I felt for Elijah with the more sanitised desire to simply keep his company and be his best friend. I indiscriminately absorbed all of the lessons I learned about homosexuals, as if they were and would always be irrelevant to my life.
The summer after my sixth-grade year, my family left the community and we moved to a neighbouring town. I began seventh grade in a large public school, where there was definitely an in-crowd. My new classmates wasted little time informing me how unacceptable it was for a boy like me to behave the way I did – the way I enunciated my s-words, the way I brushed my auburn hair, which I had highlighted the previous summer with Sun-In. They called me a faggot, delivered me notes that said everyone knew my ‘dirty little secret’. They asked me frequently, ‘Are you a boy or a girl?’. Well, of course I was a boy, I would respond, trembling.
Meanwhile, I was beginning to sexually mature; I was soon developing crushes that inspired more than just a desire to keep a boy’s company. With horror, I realised that I might actually be what the kids were calling me – which, I knew in my bones, guaranteed me a tragically short life and a one-way ticket to hell. That, after all, was what the old form of homophobia entailed. Self-loathing.
To survive the onslaught, I defeminised myself. I lowered my voice, started wearing baggy jeans and sweatshirts, cut the highlights out of my hair, and replaced my Mariah Carey CDs with Nirvana. Soon, the fear and the anxiety became too much to bear, and the only refuge I found was in alcohol and drugs.
In high school, with each passing year, my drug use got worse. After graduation, I lasted one semester in college before dropping out. Two months later, at the age of 19, I had my first of several stays in a local psychiatric ward. I was delusional, addicted to drugs and suicidal.
It was during my second stay in the psychiatric ward that I was introduced to a 12-step programme, which was how I would eventually get sober in my early twenties. It was slow-going in the beginning of my sobriety to accept my homosexuality. I began to reconnect with the young boy I had once been, the boy whose interests expanded beyond what was typical for males. I experimented with bronzer and mascara, and got French manicures and pedicures.
Engaging in these behaviours felt liberating for a while, but eventually the novelty wore off. In fact, they started to feel performative. I realised I didn’t need those things to be my authentic self. My ideas, my voice, the way I treat other people – these are the things that make me the person I truly am.
In 2011, when I was 28, I fell in love with a man. The following year, I joined the fight for marriage equality. After we won that campaign, I knew I wanted to become a gay activist. I wanted to help create a world in which feminine boys and butch girls could exist peacefully in society. A world in which gender-nonconforming people were accepted as natural variations of their own sex. Minorities, sure, but real and valid nonetheless.
The trans question
In 2017, at the age of 33, I enrolled at Columbia University, New York to complete my undergraduate degree. There, I was shocked to discover how gay activism had evolved since marriage equality became the law of the land. The focus was now entirely on personal pronouns and on being ‘queer’. My classmates labelled me ‘cis’, short for cisgender. I didn’t even know what it meant. All I knew was that they called me ‘cis’ in the same cadence that the seventh graders had called me ‘fag’.
Soon, I learned about nonbinary identities, and that some people – many people – were literally arguing that sex, not gender, was a social construct. I met people who evangelised a denomination of transgenderism that I had never heard of, one that included people who had never been gender dysphoric and who had no desire to medically transition. I met straight people whose ‘trans / nonbinary’ identities seemed to be defined by their haircuts, outfits and inchoate politics. I met straight women with Grindr accounts, and listened to them complain about the ‘transphobic’ gay men who didn’t want to have sex with women.
All around me, it seemed, straight people were spontaneously identifying into my community and then policing our behaviours and customs. I began to think that this broadening of the ‘trans’ and ‘queer’ umbrella was giving a hell of a lot of people a free pass to express their homophobia.
At Columbia, I took classes on LGBT history, but much of that history was delivered through the lens of queer theory. Queer theorists appropriate French philosopher Michel Foucault’s ideas about the power of language in constructing reality. They argue that homosexuality didn’t exist prior to the late 19th century, when the word ‘homosexual’ first appeared in medical discourse. Queer theorists proselytise a liberation that supposedly results from challenging the concepts of empirical reality and ‘normativity’. But their converts instead often end up adrift in a sea of nihilism. Queer theory, which has become the predominant method of discussing and analysing gender and sexuality in universities, seemed to me to be more ideological than truthful.
In my classes on gender and sexuality in the Muslim world, however, I discovered something else, too. I learned about current medical practices in Iran, where gay sex is illegal and punishable by death, and where medical transition is subsidised by the state to ‘cure’ gays and lesbians who, the theocratic elite insists, are ‘normal’ people ‘trapped in the wrong bodies’. I privately drew parallels between the anti-gay laws and practices of Iran and what I saw developing in the West, but I convinced myself I was just being paranoid.
Then, I learned about what was happening to gender-nonconforming kids – that they were being prescribed off-label drugs to halt their natural development, so that they’d have time to decide if they were really transgender. If so, they would then be more successful at passing as the opposite sex in adulthood. Even worse, I learned that these practices were being touted by LGBT-rights organisations as ‘life-saving medical care’.
It felt like I was living in an episode of The Twilight Zone. How long were these kids supposed to remain on the blockers? And what happens in a few years, if they decide they’re not ‘truly trans’ after all, and all of their peers have surpassed them? Are they seriously supposed to commence puberty at 16 or 17 years of age? These questions rattled my brain for months, until I learned the actual statistics: nearly all children who are prescribed puberty blockers go on to receive cross-sex hormones. Blockers don’t give a kid time to think. They solidify him in a trans identity and sentence him to a lifetime of very expensive, experimental medicalisation.
I wondered how different these so-called trans kids were from the little boy I had been. Obviously, I grew up to be a gay man and not a transwoman. But how could gender clinicians tell the difference between a young boy expressing his homosexuality through gender nonconformity, and someone ‘born in the wrong body’? I decided to dig deeper into the real history of medical transition.
Medicalising homosexuality
What I learned validated all of my worst fears. I learned that for decades after their invention, synthetic ‘sex hormones’ were used by doctors and scientists who sought to ‘cure’ homosexuality, and by law enforcement to chemically castrate men convicted of committing homosexual acts.
I learned about actress and singer Christine Jorgensen, one of the first people in the US to become widely known for having ‘sex-reassignment’ surgery in the early 1950s. Jorgensen may now be celebrated by the modern ‘LGBTQIA+’ community as a trans icon, but he seemed more concerned with escaping his homosexuality, which he said was ‘deeply alien to my religious attitudes’. As Jorgensen put it, ‘I identified myself as female and consequently my interests in men were normal’.
I learned that of the first adolescents to be treated for gender dysphoria (or what was then called ‘gender identity disorder’) with puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones in the 1990s and early 2000s, the vast majority were homosexual. And I learned that these studies inform current ‘gender-affirming care’ practices.
Soon, I met detransitioned gay men who had sought an escape from internalised and external homophobia in a transgender identity. They continue to suffer severe post-surgical complications, years after their vaginoplasties.
I began to fear we had reached a point of no return a couple of years ago, during a conversation I had with a supposedly ‘progressive’ friend. I told her that, if I had been a young boy now, I likely would have been prescribed puberty blockers and gone on to medically transition. ‘And you don’t think you would’ve been happy as a transwoman?’, she asked me. Her question left me speechless. I couldn’t find the words to state the obvious: that I am a gay man, not a transwoman; that statistics tell me my medical transition may not have been successful; and that I would suffer severe medical complications. In any case, if I had transitioned, I wouldn’t be living an authentic life. After all, isn’t that what this is supposed to be about? Living authentically?
Sylvester, an androgynous disco icon of the 1970s and 1980s, was once asked what gay liberation meant to him. He answered, ‘I could be the queen that I really was without having a sex change or being on hormones’. Perhaps I belong in an earlier era, when newly liberated gays and lesbians rebelled against the medical and psychiatric experiments they had long been subjected to. Perhaps my early aspiration of expanding what it means to be a boy or a girl was nothing but a pipe dream. In Europe, there is hope that these medical experiments will cease, and that gay and lesbian adolescents will be spared from a lifetime of medicalisation. But in the US, nearly eight years after same-sex marriage became the law of the land, it is full-steam ahead with these homophobic practices.
For voicing my concerns about gender-affirming care for minors, I have been called a transphobic bigot. If that’s what speaking out against the medicalisation of homosexuality makes me, then so be it.
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wosoluver · 1 month
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I have a request for Lena Oberdorf x Bayern Reader.
On the topic of her transfer to Bayern. This request is full on fluff with maybe a little angst of them being apart.
Reunited
Can we please get one about Obi loving domestic life with Reader when they see each other (cooking together, cuddling while watching movies & even versing each other at video games). But misses it dearly when the two have to be apart for months on end due to their commitments with their respective clubs. Sure the two see each other during the national break but that’s not enough. So Obi decides to transfer to Bayern to be with Reader 24/7.
Reunited.
Lena Oberdorf x reader
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"Finally reunited!" you said as you put your seatbelt on.
"Only for a little bit though." she said turning on the engine, to drive to her apartment from picking you up at the airport.
"Don't say that, we have a couple of days." you grabbed the hand she had in your thigh, intertwining your fingers and kissing the back of it.
"Sorry schatz. I swear, I'm very excited to spend time together."
You were a Bayern Munich player, and your girlfriend, well, she was one of your best rivals. She played for Wolfsburg.
You can say it took a lot of concessions, to make the relationship work.
"Okay love, I'm going to shower. Can you order dinner for us?"
"Yeah. Movie night or game night?"
"Game night!" you said disappearing into the bedroom's in suite.
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"How does it feel to lose for the third time in a row?" she asked as you pouted your lips.
"You cheated this last round!"
"Well, all is fair in love and war." she tried to reason.
"And which one was it? Love or war?" she had distracted you, by removing her sweatshirt, staying in only a pair of shorts and a sports bra.
It would've been fine if she did it because she was hot. But she did it exactly to distract you. Flexing her muscles at any chance she got.
"Both. I wanted to win the game and I love to see you drooling." she said teasing you.
"I didn't drool!"
"You so did." she said pulling you to sit on her lap.
"Fine. How could I not? I'm dating the embodiment of a goddess."
That would have been enough, if she wasn't already turned on by you naturally.
"I think it's time we go to bed." she said with a naughty look on her face.
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"Good Morning my love." she said kissing your temple. You opened your eyes, taking in Lena's sleepy and puffy face, as a ray of light came through the window.
"Good morning liebling. Slept well?"
"The best I have, since the last time we slept in the same bed." she would always bring up the fact you guys were separated by over 400 kilometers, constantly.
"In a couple of years, this will be our lives everyday." you reassured her, the best you could every time.
"I'll die of happiness when that happens."
This woman made your heart feel like it was about to explode.
"How about we cook some breakfast? I can make your favorite."
"Yes! I've been craving it." giving you a kiss before getting up. "Let's go."
"I've never seen you get up so fast in my life." as you followed her to get cleaned up.
"I don't know how you make this taste so good. Usually healthy versions of things taste like cardboard." as you prepared the pancake batter.
"We can't really break our diets, so. Also it's just a good recipe."
"Don't play it on the recipe. It's all you. Take a complement please."
"Thank you, schatz. How about we make a smoothie to complement it?"
"I'll start cutting the fruits." but before she could turn, you grabbed her attention.
"Hey..." you said dabbing a finger in the liquid and tapping it on her nose.
"Oh, it's on." letting out a mischievous grin.
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You had the day all to yourselves. Not wanting to waste your time with anyone that wasn't each other, you decided upon watching movies. Only movies ever allowed to play by your girlfriend, was Disney movies. Not that you would ever complain. And you had chose the first one. Tangled.
Cuddling up to her. She was almost always the big spoon, only setting for other option when she felt extremely needy. So you laid on your back, as she placed her head on your chest, cuddling to your side the best she could, since you were a bit smaller than her.
You spent your time focusing partially on the movie and partially in gently combing her hair through you fingers and massaging her scalp.
"They are just like us. I'm obviously Flynn, good looking, funny, has a hot girlfriend."
"And I look nothing like Rapunzel."
"No, but you would probably defend yourself with a frying pan, if someone broke into the apartment."
She never failed at making you laugh. You loved that about her.
Every time you spent more time around eachother, she was more and more sure, of wanting to marry you. Of taking the decision to ask for a transfer.
She hadn't brought up yet. She was waiting till it felt like it was the right moment.
While you held each other under the blankets, you noticed she wasn't paying attention at all. So you brought up what you thought was bothering her.
"Aren't you supposed to be looking for a new apartment? I thought your lease was ending this summer."
"I've looked at some but, not one of them felt right." she mustered all her courage for her next words. It was now or now.
"It will only feel like a home, if I have you with me."
"What do you mean?"
"What if I moved to Munich?"
"That would be amazing! Are you planning to leave Wolfsburg next year?"
"Actually, I'm asking for a transfer over the summer."
"Are you messing with me?"
"I'm serious. All is fair in love and war, I want to move into a more competitive club and I want to be with you, close to you, not having to take a plane just to kiss you."
"You are?" You instantly jumped up on the bed.
"Yes." she said laughing as you jumped on the bed.
You landed on top of her. Pulling her into a hug.
"Love, I can't breathe properly." she said under you.
"Sorry, right, you have to be alive for that to happen." she pulled you back to her.
"I love you." she left a kiss on your forehead.
"And I love you." you said placing a kiss on her lips.
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Hope you like it! Thanks for sending this in 🩷
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