#i have to remind myself hes 16 he cant be THAT good

[charlunday]

"My nightmares are usually about losing you. I'm okay once I realize you're here."

From the studio of Peeta Mellark directly to your dash! This piece was inspired by @venushyn 's wonderful depiction of one of Peeta's paintings. I thought I'd give it my own spin!

#i should really start an art tag #the hunger games #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #everlark #this is gorgeous #i really surprised myself #i tried to do a more realistic style #not exactly how i imagine his but oh well #i have to remind myself hes 16 he cant be THAT good

[c0rinarii]

Gonna recompile some thoughts about the 13SAR characters now that im past midpoint!

Juro: Oh its getting juicy.... unfortunately my boy is still as intresting as a plank of sheet wood but im intrested to see if his character goes anywhere outside of the Kyuta stuff going on. Im also sorry i ever suggested to u to make out with Kyuta.

Iori: SHE'S SO FUNNY.... I aspire to have even an inch of her whimsy and dedication to being so #normal. I too would like to confess to my weird as hell crush disregarding the fact he's a dangerous fugitive. Girl of All Time

Shuu: Frat bot facade is slowly starting to crumble and im here to see it. Uncover the truth, gayboy‼️

Megumi: I FEEL SO SORRY FOR U GIRL.... 😭 May you find peace in the future but its an overall shitty situation to be in. truly have her in my thoughts and prayers

Natsuno: I WAS SO HEARTBROKEN TO SEE HER WHIMSY FADE AWAY ONCE SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE KAIJU 😭😭 I love that she managed to maintain her optimism despite the awful situation she's been put in though. Still a joy to see pop up on the screen

Keitaro: HE REALLY IS A GOOD BOY... He's just trying his best and i love him for that. You'll save everyone you care about i promise [IMPERIALISM IS LYING TO U AND TAKATOSHI!! I SWEAR]

Takatoshi: Boys be fighting demons and demons is bisexuality. I enjoy him a Regular amount and i appreciate seeing his himboisms so much in the game. I never want to seem him That sad again [IMPERIALISM IS LYING TO U AND KEITARO!! I SWEAR]

Okino:

Yuki: MY PRINCE.... MY SHINING STUD‼️‼️ I love her a very normal ammount and seeing her slowly uncover the truth is nice to see. Definetily much smarter than she think she is.

Gouto: The fact that he is ong for real Ryoko's government assigned boyfriend is the funniest thing to come out of the game so far. He's still gated behind a huge completion milestone but so far i feel like he's trying to make sense of the situation the best he can. Unlike Tomi though, he's very scared of the circumstances of if he disobeys orders, i think.

Ryoko: She's been such a mood so far that i now think of her with her hands on her head when i stress about my uni deadlines. Im so sorry for Ida being anywhere near her life. She should get a wife to kiss and heal her. I give her full permission to kill anyone who breaks her heart. My snarky queen

Ei: HE ACTUALLY GREW ON ME I CANT BELIEVE IT. He really reminds me if the cool rivals with a soft spot you'd see in shonen anime and I cant be too mad at that. I enjoy how taciturn he can be too.

Nenji: HE'S ACTUALLY SUCH A SWEETHEART... knowing that he was childhood friends with Miwako really made me like him more (esp with how he treats her!) Loveable idiot.

Tomi: MY MUTUAL... OOMF IN ARMS... #GIRL IN LAW. Literally love how's she's written her personality is so so colorful. She has definitely said some out of pocket shit on twitter before and ill defend her with my life.

Miwako: I WILL WRITE YOU INTO RELEVANCY MYSELF‼️‼️There is so much oppurtunity to write her as one of the 15. LET THEM BE 16‼️‼️ HER "easy to develop crushes" SELF CAN BE MADE INTO SOMETHING MUCH BIGGER TO THE NARRATIVE RAUGHHH

Chihiro: I can see she's really trying her best to save everyone from the kaiju and seems to resort to any means neccesary to do so... i appreciate the effort despite the uh. [gestures] unethical treatment towards minors ig

Ida: EVERYTHING IS LITERALLY UR FAULT. I CANT BELIEVE IT. This would be half the disaster if you learnt how to sod it with ur selfish desires i swear.

Kyuta, Not-Tamao, 426, Izumi: I CLOCKED UR SHIT, SNEAKY BITCH. I dont trust a word you say. """"Means well"""" in the end i think but has way more messed up ways to go around it compared to Morimura

Miyuki: So far looking like the only person willing to help these kids in a way that would not give them severe trauma. Rooting for u girl.

[No thoughts on Tamao since i consider Erika as 426]

#im already at 70% rememberance but i forgot to post this when I was at like. 55%? #so might as well #this might be peak #13 sentinels #13 sentinels: aegis rim #13 sentinels spoilers #corr.txt #IORI TOMI AND MIWAKO ARE MY OOMFS BTW. I love them so much. girls of all time

[thatkindofwoman]

I made mistakes recently. Many in fact. It doesn't diminish me. I won't let it. I refuse.

I went looking for answers to questions I never voiced. I found hurt that only lived in my memories. I remember vaguely reading and clinging to the idea that that every 7/10/14 years all our skin cells have shed. Started fresh, become new.

It means that one day my skin will have new memories of the words 'I love you' whispered against it. Unfortunately, my bones demand a seat at the table, a voice in the vote. They always have. Growing fast and long. They hold memories from growth to death. As quickly as 8 and 9 years old. I remember coaches, teachers, authority figures commenting on my height and composure. Old soul. Trauma response. If only I could give space for more of an explanation. Not this time, not this space.

I remember at 16 I wanted to be tall, and strong. Those both synonymous because I thought my father strong because he was tall. One time, I was 20, my sister voiced her disgust that I was dating tall brunette men. Which my father was. Which I wanted to be. I wanted to be tall and strong. I wanted to demand a room. I wanted the world to take notice before I had to open my mouth and demand it.

So I dated men who were tall and strong who demanded the room. Through their wit, or looks. Through their ability to make anyone laugh. Self deprecating. Loved, cherished, respected by others, not just my mind in my 20a. Tall but not so brunette also. The pride one had in me, that I've never found again. I cling to those memories, sorry I couldn't reciprocate.

I've never really belonged to another person. Not the way that feels right deep in those demanding bones. I can't fake it for more that a few liquored hours. I say that with no pride, no grit, no give. It's the truth I live with. Some fuel to feed the feelings I manufactured. I felt the spark only because I told myself it was there, not because it was.

I remember leaning into feelings with pure goodness when fueled. Taken advantaged of. I became a beacon for what other people needed from me, not what we could give each other.

I build my own spine out of bamboo every moment, and the moments in between, I forget left uncared for, bamboo splits and cracks, no longer solid and strong one cut and pounded into the ground to stabilize. Dry rot begins.

I don't need someone else to build me a backbone. Never had, never will. I just need a gentle nudge when I get caught staring too long at the coming storm. Thinking about the preparation rather than the ride.

The fucking ride. I remember the first time I let my horse have his head as I galloped along along the ridge of my parent's property, only slightly replicated on the dirt bike as I shifted gears up and pulled back with my wrist on the same path. I don't need a partner. But I want one.

Not for a child, nor a breadwinner. Not for marriage. Not for our friends nor family. I want a partner for me and them. Selfish, perhaps, or maybe because survival, and betterment, at its fullest is shared when you can meet the eyes of someone, or someones who understand the sentiment with few words, and all the feelings.

Fuck if I don't remind myself that time is that one cunt I cant ever seem to grasp nor understand.

[trashbins-stuff]

Incorrect quotes

Ppl involved: @mochablogger @moonmxple @blairdrawzstuff @mirkodoesstuff @winterwrxter @harpjustexists @rubixcubix

1.Blueberry: What time is it?

Mocha: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out

Mocha: *BLASTS the saxaphone*

Harp: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING

Mocha: It’s 2 am

2.

Bin: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Hazel.

Hazel: I hate myself.

Bin: Alright, square up.

3.

Rubix: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit

4.

Winter: So what are your political beliefs?

Bin, awkwardly trying to impress her: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

5.

Rubix: They... well, I wouldn't call it inheritance per se. What do you call it when you kill someone and get their stuff?

Blueberry: Um, murder???

Hazel: Adventuring!

Bin: Tuesday.

6.

Rubix: Everyone synchronise your watches.

Hazel: I don't know how to do that.

Winter: I don't wear a watch.

Harp: Time is a construct

7.

Harp: Good morning.

Bin: Good morning.

Blueberry: Good morning.

Rubix: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Mocha, barging in from the window: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

Everyone: AHHHHHHHH

8.

Rubix: Rules were made to be broken.

Winter: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Blair: Uh, piñatas.

Mocha: Glow sticks.

Bin: Karate boards.

Hazel: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Rubix: Rules.

Winter:

9.

Rubix: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip!

Mocha: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill!

Bin: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out!

Winter: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times!

Hazel: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up!

Blueberry: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.

10.

Hazel: Stressed.

Rubix: Depressed.

Mocha: Possessed.

Winter: Obsessed.

Blueberry: Impressed.

Bin: Chicken breast.

Everyone: ...What?

Bin: I just wanted to join in.

11.

Rubix: What if people had food names and food had people names?

Hazel: Hey, spaghetti, we’re having Rubix for dinner.

Blair: What is wrong with you people?

Bin: Shut up, orange.

12.

Mocha: I haven't seen Harp and Blueberry for fifteen minutes now.

*Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Harp and Blueberry running after it in a panic. Mocha doesn't look outside at all.*

Mocha: That probably means they're getting into trouble.

13.

Blueberry: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.

Bin: Actually, Galaxy Journal is my favourite.

Blueberry: Okay then, it is I, that bitch

14.

Rubix: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

15.

Fae au Blair: Hello friends!

The Squad:

Fae au Blair: You might be wondering why I’m hanging from the ceiling

16.

*after the Squad has been separated for a few years*

Harp: So what have you been up to recently?

Rubix: Leading a revolution with Bin.

Harp: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.

Rubix: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!

Harp: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Mocha?

Rubix: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Blair and Hazel?

Harp: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Blueberry?

Rubix: Cult leader.

Harp: Yeah, that sounds about right.

17.

Rubix: I CAN'T DO IT!

Mocha, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Rubix: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Harp: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Rubix:

Rubix: I appreciate it,

Rubix: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Hazel: Rubix-

Rubix: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Winter: Rubix we gotta-

Rubix: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Rubix: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Rubix, motioning to Bin: NOT FUCKING THIS

18.

Blair: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that?

Mocha: Uh, like what?

Blair: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs.

Mocha: Uh, this is what I look like.

Blair:

Mocha: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE!

Blair: Okay, then I want big beefy arms. Hot ones.

Hazel: I wanna have a cowboy hat!

Mocha: Okay, arms and hat. *draws them*

Rubix: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too!

Mocha: You can't just take Hazel's hat idea, Rubix! He thought it up all by himself like a good person! Come up with your own thing!

Rubix: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL!

Bin: Put Rubix on one of those stupid baby tricycles.

Rubix: NO!!

Mocha: Tricycle, done. *draws it* Winter, want anything?

Bin, making finger guns: Pew pew.

Mocha: A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, Winter.

Winter, making finger guns: Pew pew.

Mocha: You know what, okay. *draws it* But it's just for holding, not for shooting.

19.

Winter: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Harp: No.

Hazel: I did not.

Rubix: I may have actually forgotten one.

Blueberry: *shale head

Bin: Also no.

Winter: Oh good, neither did I.

Blair: *Exhausted sigh*

20.

Winter: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Mocha: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents.

Winter: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you.

Hazel: Actually I did the math, Mocha would have $225, not $0.15.

Mocha: Fam I’m right here....

Harp: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Winter: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Harp: Sorry I only have a dollar.

Winter: :(

Blueberry: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Mocha would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.

Harp: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.

Hazel: You can buy anything you want with $22,500.

Bin: Yeah and she want soda and apply juice.

Hazel: Apply juice to what.

Bin: Directly to the forehead.

Rubix: Great chat everyone.

21.

Blueberry: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we barely know each other?

Bin: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending.

22.

Harp: Yesterday, I watched Blair try to eat a decorative rock from Hazel's potted plant. Blueberry caught her, and told her she can't eat rocks. Blair started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away.

#tw cult mention #the traumatized cup #ttc #incorrect quotes #ttc hazel #ttc mocha cuppy #ttc blair #ttc blueberry donut #ttc bin #ttc winter #ttc harp #ttc rubix

[frecklystars]

i hate that i see one gifset of stsc and my whole body just. locks up. and starts shaking. i hate that i immediately feel like im going to die. im not in danger oh my god im just. im just looking at a fictional robot and my body makes me react as if i have to run. run from what??? im so tired of feeling so nauseous and dizzy and angry every single day. my god i miss stsc more than anything. loving ken is great but it is not the same. nothing is the same. i have come to truly hate TF with my entire being, even tho TF didnt hurt me, it was someone i associated with TF. but i am so bitter about what happened to me and i wish the franchise never existed bc then i never would have met my abuser. but at the same time i miss TF so badly i just want to be able to look at an insignia without crying, or think of a flower meadow without my heart breaking, or listen to the 400 songs collecting dust on my TF playlist. my god there is so much music i miss, but every time i listen to a song on that playlist, my brain just associates it with my TF ships and then i miss them too badly and i cant enjoy the music for what it is. i have tried associating them with ken. i have tried associating them with barbie. it doesnt work. the furthest ive gotten is associating 7 out of 200 megakeri songs with patrickeri but !!! thats just!!! 7 songs!!! out of!!! two!!! hundred!!!!!

i dont know how to explain it to someone who doesnt get triggered but its literally like... spikes of adrenaline shooting through my body and making me shake every time i see something related to TF or even something that would remind me of a TF selfship i had. and my breathing either becomes very short or i just hold my breath entirely. and i start sweating and my body locks up and there's this urge to run, to hide, to call for help, but i cant do any of that, i just freeze up. and like lol thats so stupid bro. ill see a color and it triggers me, ill see a honeybee and i start crying, i see a flower meadow, or like. just. the word starlight. or hearing a song that reminds me of my TF ships. i miss them all so fucking badly. i see hailee steinfeld and it hurts so bad bc i loved her the most in the bumblebee movie, i loved charlie so dearly, she was one of my favorite main f/os years ago, now its like... i just have such a horrible horrible horrible association with charlie and bee and TF in general and i . dont know. how to reclaim that. and seeing them makes my body react like "you're gonna die holy shit" just automatically. immediately. i cannot control it. it just happens. it sucks.

steve blum hugged me so so so tight just days ago and said stsc would never hurt me. like three times. and that stsc misses me and loves me. growled it, as if stsc was truly enraged for being ripped away from me. and yet my brain is still like... numb. i watch the video with steve and im numb. he hugged me tightly and rubbed my back and, like, okay great i didnt have any "oh my god im gonna die" feelings when he was voicing stsc for me, but i was just... numb. totally shut down. i didnt expect seeing him again to fix me, but i was hoping so terribly that it would do something. anything. but i am tired of feeling this way and i want to try to do something about it even if theres almost nothing i can really do except try my fucking best one day at a time

i think one of my main problems is ive spent three years LOVING TF, feeling good with it, la la la. and then BAM about nine-ish months of being isolated with someone who ruined my fucking life. now spent about 16-ish months looking at TF whether it's a gifset or a photo or even just a flower that reminds me of a character or something, then having a trigger reaction where im crying/vomiting/hyperventilating, and then disengaging with TF entirely and spending days trying to come down from being triggered. for over a year, i have been unintentionaly training myself to believe i cannot look at TF. like. i am unable to ground myself when im triggered, i am supposed to say "ok im scared right now but he would never hurt me" or whatever. but i havent been able to do that, i just get triggered and immediately try to get away from whatever i saw that triggered me, and its wired my brain to believe TF is genuinely something to avoid.

i think i need to get into the habit of drawing myself with a TF character at least... once every two weeks. or once a week if i am able to. but i cannot just sit here, missing TF every day, get triggered if i see it, and then avoid it and then cry about avoiding it, and the cycle continues. i cannot keep fucking doing that. dude there has to be a way for me to fix myself. i need to train my brain to believe its gonna be ok even if it takes a long ass time. and then the next time i meet steve blum maybe ill feel? better? cmon, if the voice actor can hug me and say stsc would never hurt his little starflower and my brain doesnt believe that, then there is something else i gotta do. i cant just sit here and feel bad!!!! i have tried several forms of therapy and then i ran outta money, i have tried watching the shows but got a BAD reaction out of that, i tried commissioning ppl to draw myself with TF characters but it's done nothing but waste my money bc i cannot look at the pics, i have tried talking to friends about TF and associating it with them, but none of this shit has worked. but you know what did genuinely make me feel better back when this was really fresh? me drawing myself with TF characters and people commenting nice things about it. me posting drawings of me with stsc and people writing a nice tag or a nice comment. that helped the most. i need to get back into the habit of doing that even if i just get one (1) nice comment, i know it will make a difference. nice comments have always made a significant difference for me whether it's my inbox or dms or replies, any time someone shows me kindness, it helps a lot. and maybe if i just. keep. doing that. i can slowly but surely condition myself to believe again that im safe when i see TF. because i am. i am safe and i am loved and i am missed even if i dont believe that at ALL i know it's there even if i'm completely numb to it

my goal isnt even to hyperfixate on TF again. its to just... be indifferent to it, god that is the best case scenario for me right now, realistically. i just want to not be immediately triggered. i'll have reactions with ken or driver sometimes where i'm like "what if they hurt me" but that's not a trigger. i dont feel like im going to die when i look at them. but i feel like im going to die when i look at TF and im so sick of that. lol im done with that. fuck that. i shall take matters into my own hands. even if it takes years i am NOT giving up!!! no matter how many times i cry and scream and stress vomit and jolt awake from nightmares and make vent posts saying "its hopeless ill never ever ever reclaim them" i WILL fucking reclaim them i dont care if it takes me until im 90 years old!!!!!!!!! i hate living like this and i KNOW if i keep kicking and thrashing eventually something's gotta give. i cannot just lay here on the ground and cry. i gotta get up and scream the entire time and claw my way out of this deep dark depressing pit so i can eventually get out. what is that saying - fake it til you make it??? well ill keep drawing myself being so so so loved by these characters, and faking it until i finally fucking MAKE IT

#vent #delete later #im not back online btw im just venting. my god. i am hurting so bad

[microstmnt]

I had already uploaded their (first) timeskip designs seperately but I wanted to upload the line up to remind myself just how much they boys have all grown 

And more tidbits over here! Because god knows when I’ll be able to upload a proper breakdown of what happened during the Battle Nexus...

Leo: age 18, during the Battle Nexus wich was their little physical, mental and emotional break after their utter defeat against Shredder, Leo basically quit being leader not because he was done and tired of the responsability but because he felt that he failed everyone, not being able to protect them, not being prepared for the worst, being defeated not even by Shredder but his daughter, being saved by basically a miracle...  How could he call himself the leader? Even after Tang Shen (in Twig’s body) told them that their first task was to rest Leo still tried to train behind her back, only stopping after being assigned a “babysitter”, Usagi, who would befriend him and eventually help him train (later, but right now REST BOY). In his place of leadership he leaves Raph (originally he tought of Donnie, but the boy already went trough hell and back in Raph’s rescue mission.. so, the job goes to the other twin).. During this year he learns to be a better leader (actually listen to his team, and trust them, yes with your life dear). New weapon unlocked: Nodachi

Raph: age17. Oooh boy, you’re my favorite so of course you’re gonna get dragged through the trenches... The boy is in shambles, during the whole rescue mission Raph was aware of his actions but could do nothing to stop them, hurting his brothers is his worst nightmare, and it doesnt help that his older bro is now on his own spiral of shame and cant actually be there for them, Donnie is not talking, and Mikey’s still afraid of him even if he tries to hide it... Eventually (like three months in) Don opens up to him and the twins go back to their old dynamic, except that there is a lingering feeling of losing something because they now dont look exactly the same, and sure before they still had enough sligth differences that you could tell them apart if you looked closely, but now their scars make it evident that they wont be able to pull they’re little switch places prank that they found so comforting to do... Leo eventually announces to Raph that he is going to be the leader and... boy does that not go well, for starters Raph never wanted to be leader, he just didn’t like Leo being the leader and besides the boy feels like everything started because of him and Leo wants to make him leader?? He’s also fighting his own rage issues because he doesnt even trust himself anymore and is starting to wonder if maybe Splinter wasn’t right in being afraid of him (DONT WORRY it will get resolved, I would hate to make Splinter a bad dad and he is not afraid of Raph, it’s... complicated, I would have to make a separate post). New weapon unlocked: Kusarigama

Donnie: age 17. You’re also gonna get dragged through the trenches by proxy... Donnie for the first like 5-6 months is completely non-verbal, with the first two months also being kinda unresponsive to the rest of his family, completely closed off, doesn’t even let Raph in, he slowly gets better, mending his relationship with Raph (being the only one he talks to), and even having some jokes and non verbal conversations with Mikey, he rarely bonds with Leo cause the latter rarely bonds with him (Leo I implore you reach out to your little bros), and even tho the first months were basically hell, he’s the second to get more well adjusted to their new reality and what happened to them. Is generally okay with Raph being the new leader but still feels like Leo might have chickened out. Also has some complaints against Splinter like any good middle children does, also has some complaints against Leo... It will all get resolved. WE’RE HEALING ALL TRAUMAS IN THIS YEAR BABY. New weapon unlocked: Naginata

Mikey: age 16. Oh baby you’re really gonna be an angel in this trying times. Yes, he’s afraid of Raph at first, is mad at Leo because he wasn’t there, hates himself for feeling this way... He understands that Raph didnt meant to attack him, and that his bro would never hurt him like that on purpose, but boy the subconscious mind is a force that you actively have to figth, also understands that Leo couldnt have been there, even if he had known what was happening. He’s going to be the first of his brothers to understand and let go, and eventually help his brothers do the same. His wound is the worst because of damaged nerves that require surgery, but his recovery goes smoothly. During the year he becomes closer to Twig/Tang Shen and even sometimes call him mom, something Twig doesnt seem to mind all that much. Last one to find out that Raph is the new leader, doesnt really care about that but why is he always the last one to find out about stuff? Feels like he’s always in the back burner, might have to have a conversation with his brothers and dad about it... New weapon unlocked: Sansetsukon

April: age 20. After leaving the hospital the first thing that April did (after being interrogated by cops...) was to look for the turtles, having not been able to find them in their Lair and not being able to contact them she initially thought the worst, but no, how could that be? They’re all skiled fighters, and they know to stick to shadows, they’re probably just laying low. So she and Casey waited, trying to go back to a semblance of a normal life, she started to study again and started her career on biochemistry knowing that eventually the boys would be back on her life. But the months passed and no one got in contact with her, she eventually stopped going to the Lair because she feared a breakdown every time she didnt find anything new, and it wasnt healthy to get so obsessed with a maybe, she got into a lot of fights with Casey, both dealing with their unspoken grief very differently and eventually and with a lot of pain she accepted that maybe they were gone for real... Fast forward to like a month later the turtles would show up at her dorm room and explain to her what happened, HOW DO YOU REACT?? YOU WENT THROUGH ALL 7 STAGES OF GRIEF AND NOW YOU’RE RELIVING THEM. Well obviously she was mad and also happy to see them again, but it’ll take a lot to earn her trust again after that

Casey: age 19. OOH YOU’RE ALSO MY FAVORITE SO! guess what that means. The first thing Casey did after leaving the hospital (and being interrogated by cops and assuming full responsability of setting a building on fire...) was to look for the turtles with April. After not finding them he figured that yeah it makes sense, that Shredder guy wants them death, obviously their hiding, and eventually they’ll let us know where they are. In the meantime Casey starts to take his vigilante job extra seriously, beating up Purple Dragons, trying to figure out what the Foot Clan is up to, April tells him to stop because he’s really gonna get killed but his logic is that he’s helping the turtles. Months pass, the guys still havent shown any signs, April is starting to miss their weekly meetings in the Lair, and he feels like she’s giving up very easily, they fight often. Casey REFUSES to even think of the possibility that the boys are dead, the guy’s in denial, he’s going through it, he already lost a family once and he felt abandoned then, NOW? OH BABY ITS WORSE. He doesnt let himself grieve and eventually the turtles show up again after his work (actual work, not vigilante thing), and after his first relief he starts throwing punches... I mean can you blame the guy? Raph has to physically hold him off to prevent him from punching Mikey or Donnie (he got to punch Raph and Leo tho lmao) and then he actually breaks down in tears, because he realizes that he did thought that they died, and was so afraid of having lost his family again... Now he just has to mend his relationship with April, because he may have called her a coward (baby, your mouth runs faster than your brain...)

#tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #micros tmnt #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt bayverse #rottmnt #tmnt idw #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt april #tmnt april o'neil #tmnt casey #tmnt casey jones

[golbrocklovely]

since i have nothing else to post right now…

here’s the last of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~

Oct. 1 - love doing things for myself

Oct. 4 - i’m in so much pain. sos

fan: u ok?

poison oak. everywhere …. everywhere.

Oct. 5 - i like the simple things

Oct. 7 - less is more

Oct. 10 - i wanna make you happy

how am i so busy during the day but still manage to find 2 hours to mindlessly scroll through tik tok? i can’t be the only one

Oct. 14 - i care too much

Oct. 15 - somehow it wasn’t enough

Oct. 18 - fan: I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT COLBY SMELLED LIKE..I WANA KNOW WHAT COLOGNE HE WEARS

mayonnaise

(i hate this man so much lmao)

Oct. 19 - Justin Bieber’s new song made me tear up, that dudes been through so much. no one could even imagine what that’s like.. achieving everything and being in the biggest spotlight at such a young age.

Oct. 20 - @/samgolbach: less than 6 months ago i broke my back. and i decided to take that as a challenge to get healthy again. and today i ran the fastest mile i’ve ever run. so yes, i might be an idiot but i’m a determined idiot 🤘🏼🏃🏼

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 that’s an insane accomplishment ! i remember when it was a struggle to stand up out of bed

new day, same cycle

Oct. 21 - my mom is texting me all the young pictures of me and it’s bringing me memories i didn’t know i had

Oct. 25 - panic attacks late at night are the worst

Nov. 1 - @/colbybrockscar: reminder that it’s no nut November!!! @/ColbyBrock doesn’t even have to try. He’s got this shit in the bag. It probs comes out like baby powder if he tries

did my car just roast me ?

Nov. 4 - this is scary

cuties! all 3 of you! (reply to fan in merch with friend and cat)

Nov. 6 - @/GracynCarr: I can’t believe the audacity of a high school tweet to pop up on my timeline lmao.. miss u tho @/ColbyBrock :)

hope you're well xx

Nov. 8 - so much talent thank youu love (reply to fan's art)

fan: Um. So I tweeted this to you before but alot has also changed since then sooo wanted to say thank you 🖤 🖤 @/ColbyBrock

proud of you, and good luck with your dreams darlin 🖤 you can accomplish anything with the right mindset and hard work. i believe in ya

time flies, and i’m so scared of losing my youth. it’s inevitable i know, but damn makes you wanna cherish every moment you got

Nov. 11 - i hate when nothing is wrong but nothing feels right

Nov. 12 - the person who makes you forget about the rest of the world

Nov. 13 - today marks 6 years since we posted our first YT video on the MAIN S&C account .. 🖤 what a wild ride

Nov. 14 - promise you i’m a good waste of time

Nov. 15 - @/katstuartmusic: “sunday is my funday” - colby brock 2020

🥂💁🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️

fan: Colby u get drunk off of one white claw

fight me

other fan: my money is on mags

round house kicks to the face don’t feel too good

(is it bad that i like when colby gets weirdly violent with us sksksks)

Nov. 16 - the Why Dont We dudes are some of the nicest people in LA

*Nov. 17 - @/gabytriana: It’s out! Sam and Colby were so much fun to work with, and despite what Colby said, I did not hate him when we first met! 😆 Both he and Sam are super kind, smart, generous entertainers who know how to tell a good story! I love them both!! Happy Book Birthday, @/samandcolby

hahaha thank youu so much for all the hard work ! so excited it’s finally here

(interestingly enough, colby didn't delete his tweet… gaby did)

Nov. 19 - went to a Pyschic Reader tonight. my mind is blown. im not a skeptic anymore, video coming tomorrow

fan: Get ready for religious people to freak out

the psychic i talked to was religious, i’m not sure how but i think the two concepts can exist at the same time

Nov. 21 - hard to trust

fan: @/ColbyBrock hey, i love u lots

love you 🖤

Nov. 23 - fan: imagine if @/ColbyBrock responded to this

could you imagine

Nov. 24 - fan: lmao okay so my friend put this together when I FINALLY received Colby's reaper merch yesterday and I had to laugh, I am actually stupid. But I thought it was a lil funny so y'all can see it too then xx

hahahha love it. thank you. you’re not a sack of potatoes in my eyes

Nov. 27 - happy b day @/SamGolbach you know this and imma save the sappy shit for your big 25th bday but i wouldn’t be here without you. you’re the most intelligent, deep thinking dude i’ve ever met and i feel pretty damn lucky to be able to call you a business partner AND best friend

Nov. 28 - take it easy

Nov. 30 - should i hop back on tik tok?

Dec. 2 - @/aaron_doh: At least I got a photo shoot out of it 😄

whaaat. dude i wish you a speedy recovery

Dec. 3 - it’s hard to move on

Dec. 5 - a nice escape is all i need

welp. i guess i’m a lightweight

Dec. 9 - miss you

Dec. 14 - all the baggage that comes with me

Dec. 15 - been workin hard for you , announcement tomorrow

fan: omg are you pregaganant

how'd you know

@/samandcolby: announcement tomorrow… 2021 will be the best year of our lives (and probably most difficult)

fan: are we getting married?? is that why?

yes

i hate how having anxiety makes me nauseous. it’s the worst feeling

Dec. 16 - it’s all about living in the moment and making every. second. count.

fan: yeah @/ColbyBrock how much are you charging for tattoos…

free for you

Dec. 18 - big tool pic but i’ve been workin hard

@/mannymua733: we absolutely do not mind

hahahaha

(god damn… this pic is still so good lol)

also cold weather always makes me want a special someone to spend time with. cuddle buddy is neeeeeded

fan: okay but can we just take a second to appreciate how hard colby’s been working in the gym because dayum

thank you sweeeetheart

fan: HELP COLBY IS TRENDING

yoo i love you guys 🥺

Dec. 20 - got tatted last night and i barely remember

how i feel this morning (pic of him floating)

fan: you’ve seen elf on the shelf… but have you seen cole in a hole? (@/ColbyBrock)

i’m mad i laughed at this

Dec. 23 - why’d ya have to change on me

so bittersweet saying goodbye to my childhood home of 18 years… i’ll only be back to kansas to visit and sleep in hotels from now on. strange feeling, but so happy for my mom and dad for taking a chance and moving

it’s like i don’t have a real “home” anymore. since i move so much anyways it’s hard to find a spot to actually call home

fan: i just want to say that colby has helped me through so much this year. i had a tough year as many others did but you’ve seriously have helped me through so much. i love you so so much @/ColbyBrock

awh that’s why i make videos in the first place. for people like you

Dec. 24 - addicted to you

my mom and i are the weirdest duo on the planet when we’re together i swear

fan: Make a video with her for Christmas

my whole family despises being on camera 💔

Dec. 25 - fan: momma brock is the sweetest ever

she’s my favorite woman in the world

Merry Christmas friends ! 🖤

i wish i could have face tats for like one week but it doesn’t really work like that huh

Dec. 26 - everyone’s battling their own demons

Dec. 28 - fan: Colby drinking wine but he's such a lightweight that he's probably drunk, lmao @/ColbyBrock

🤫🤫🤫

fan: the vibes are fucking ethereal i’m guessing @/ColbyBrock

you got it

#colby brock #cb tweets #personal #text

[ctommyisnt]

1:A song you like with a color in the title

OKAY my first thought was blistere in the sun by Violent femmes but i only just now realized its violent not violet. anyway. Violet by Wild Party!!!! One of my FAVORITE songs for sure. Could listen to it forever

2:A song you like with a number in the title

Second child restless child by the oh hellos (does this count? yes. it does). My favorite song by this band and it makes me feel so FREE and EXCITED and HOPEFUL.

3:A song that reminds you of summertime

I HAVE TOO MANY!!! summer is my favorite season and i have so many good memories of dancing in my neighborhood taking three hour walks just listening to music i loved (i wasnt allwoed to listen to my own music or wear earbuds in my house so it was my only chance to listen to music that wasnt christian or broadway) If i had to choose ONE though it would probably be talk too much by COIN. i would play this on repeat and just DANCE in the middle of the street.

4:A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

Hmmm this ones hard. I luckily dont have any songs associated with people but whenever i hear about eurovision i get a bad taste in my mouth so we're going with that.

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD

Already answered this but slingshot by good kid! If i want to go more mainstream it's gotta be I love it, that is the ultimate clubbing song and makes me feel so cool

6:A song that makes you want to dance

Arhghh i already used Talk too much so ill have to go with dance with me by sir, please. Typical but cmon man

7:A song to drive to

I only really listen to music while driving (i NEED to buy a speaker) but Heart of a Dancer makes me feel SO cool and i always go at least 20 over the speed limit when listening to this on the highway.

8:A song about drugs or alcohol

Uhhh? I don't listen to lyrics OH WAIT bullet by hollywood undead. I fucking loved that song when i was sixteen which if you know the song you know what i was like back then LOL

9:A song that makes you happy

Most songs but also Kaleidoscope by a great big world. THIS is a summer camp prologue montage music type beat but UGH it always makes me so happy. I think its been on almost every playlist ive made this year (i make my playlist by seasons so this is a good cold winter song AND summer song)

10:A song that makes you sad

Anything by Everybody Worries about Owen, Obsessed with his Denton lake album that shit was my depression music for a year. Not a big fan of his newer music.

11:A song that you never get tired of

Shawshank Demo by the toyston club, its been one of my top played songs for like three years and i have it in almost every playlist.

12:A song from your preteen years

uhhh i cant do shawshank or talk too much again so i think OH WAIT nothign by bruno major. I was so sad over this and would listen to it over and over again just imagining myself dancing to this song with my fictional or irl crushes. I was cringe but i was free and those daydreams kept me alive for those years.

13:One of your favorite 80’s songs

UPTOWN GIRL BY BILLY JOELLLLLL hes such a guy and i want to be the uptown girl so bad. or everybody wants to rule the world thats a CLASSIC

14:A song that you would love played at your wedding

Im doing two for this one because one of them is Marry You by bruno marrs which will be played as my partner and i walk down the aisle after the ceremony and everyone cheers and throws flowers. My other one is Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman because thats going to be my father daughter dance if he still loves me when i get married.

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

FROM THE START. BY GOOD KID. this one one of my FAVORITE songs right now and i have screamed along to it at karaoke before. Amazing song

16:One of your favorite classical songs

Anything my sisters play on the piano but i Do Not have a distinction because there is not universe in which i can make out a distinct classical song.

17:A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

LITTLE TALKS BY OF MONSTERS AND MEN!!! this song is SO fun and id love to sing this a drink and a half in with my friends OH OR THAT TICK TICK BOOM SONG ive done duets to that with my sisters before.

18:A song from the year that you were born

I cant NOT say american idiot by greenday like cmon. Are you gonna be my girl by the jets AND mr brightside also came out htat year.

19:A song that makes you think about life

............. Maybe I was boring BUT ALSO. hello my old heart iwasplanningonkillingmyselftothissong BUT its not a very nostalgic 'i got through this shit' song

20:A song that has many meanings to you

I have a playlist called 'Nothing is right and your looking for yourself in the suburbs but cant find it' which sounds metaphorical but was actually a very literal thing i used to do as a teen, spending hours walking around my neighborhood listening to this while trying to figure out who i was. Its my ultimate existencial crisis playlist and it's just the Maybe I was Boring thirteen minute demo cut ten seperate times. I play it whenever I feel lost and dissociative. It usually helps but it also reminds me of dark times.

21:A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

natalie by bruno mars that song is SO fun WAIT NO grace by the hatchetman this song goes crazy

22:A song that moves you forward

Shy by Saint Blonde! Its very hopeful and gives me 'this is just the start of a great day/month/summer/year' you need to listen to it.

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

You were perfect & im sorry by mickey darling!! I just saw one of his concerts and MAN this song goes crazy. it tells a story and really delves into this guy and just ADSJFASLKDASLDK

24:A song by a band you wish were still together

Sobbing. Great Lake Drifters. They have 7 monthly listeners and havent done anything since 2015 OH MY GOD I JUST LOOKED THEM UP THEY HAVE A NEW SONG???? WHAT THE FUCK???????????? EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW my favorite song by them is verbal chess

25:A song by an artist no longer living

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i dont recall any artists ever. is elton john dead? I like that song im still standing but only the taron edgerton sing cover.

26:A song that makes you want to fall in love

Lucky girl by fazerdaze makes me SO upset because i WANT To be a lucky girl and listen to this song while walking down the street with my lover but nOOOoooo i CANT. BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A LOVER. someday.

27:A song that breaks your heart

Saline solution by wilbur soot was also one of my depression songs and i just. arghgjh reminds me of sad times. I cant listen to it anymore without a sinking feeling in my gut.

28:A song by an artist with a voice that you love

i dont know who autoheart is or what he looks like but i want him to fuck me. lent by

29:A song that you remember from your childhood

Again, i didnt listen to music much as a kid because it was just the christian stuff my parents played but my most nostalgic one would be See, what a morning by Keith and Kristyn getty. The song tastes like swedish pancakes drowning in butter and syrup while the sun beats through the kitchen window, dappled by the vines. It's so visual to me and i always mourn my childhood when my mom plays it.

30:A song that reminds you of yourself

Scrawny by the wallows is the song i want to embody. I genuiknely want people to hear that song and be like 'yeah thats nells, thats her' But right now maybe Drifting by good kid? i dont pay attention to lyrics but this one is NICE

I love my songs and cherish them deeply so this took a long time. I love questoins. PLEASE LISTEN TO ANY OF THESE music is so intigral to my life and i dont listen to a lot so yeah. I also only like like three genres of music so if you like one of these youll like them all LOL

#ask game #technically #this was just me wanting to ramble and reminisce

[ujunxverse]

IM ON A GAP YEAR RN ACTUALLYYYYY JUST CHILLING AND READING AND ATTENDING CONCERT AFTER CONCERT LMAO 🙆‍♀️ ill be going to uni this fall tho and i am TERRIFIED but also VV EXCITED

PLS DONT MENTION 20 TO ME IN MY HEAD I AM STILL 16 YEARS OLD 😭 BUT BUT I ALSO. NEED. A JOB 😭😭😭 IM MOVING TO THE NETHERLANDS FOR UNI AND RENT 😭😭 ID BE RICHER IF I LIVED IN THE STREETS ATP

also I STILL WRITEEE !!! i kinda moved over to twitter/ao3 AND I WENT BACK TO WRITING SHIP FICS TOO FJWKDNBE ive kinda been working on a lot of things but i just 😭😭 cant focus on finishing ONE 😭😭😭

AND TELL ME ABOUT THE TAEHYUNxKAI WIPPPP AND SUNSUN PLSSSSS (ive lost my battle against sunghoon and have... begun to.. 🤒 bias 🤕 him...) AND SK8R BOI CHENJI 😭😭😭I AM HOLDING U TO THAT 😤😤

(I shouldve just dmed this to u fr 😭)

AWWW THAT'S SO GOOD TO HEAR !! honestly i wish i took a gap year before thrusting myself into uni :((( YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE FR I'M SO JEALOUS AND EXTREMELY HAPPY FOR YOU FR !! CONCERT AFTER CONCERT IS A DREAM ESP IN THIS ECONOMY !!!! also omg you're lucky you get to experience frosh in first year cos it's MAGICAL FR !! like, you'll have the full package experience !! just go to the parties, let loose, and have fun while remembering to always opt out if you don't feel safe !!

LKASJDFLKASJ THE BIG TWO ZERO !!! but nah mad felt this economy is so brutal fr :"(( have you considered like a dorm ?? or does your uni not offer it ?? some of my friends who also went to school in the netherlands did student residence first, then moved out once they were able to get used to the country.

PLS YOU LEFT TUMBLR THAT'S SO GOOD FOR YOU THIS HELLSITE IS A MESS FR !! i tried my hand at ao3 but man idk what about the tagging system bothers me but ig i'm too used to tumblr ugh. LET ME KNOW ABT ALL YOUR WIPS HEHEHHE THIS IS JUST LIKE OLD TIMES FR I NEED TO KNOW BESTIE (also tell me your ao3 rn or else i'll pull up and pop pop skra skra)

omg okok so the gist of the taening fic (greenland is the title lOL) is that hyuka is from a long line of mushers (sledding dog sport) and he's a late bloomer because unlike his siblings, he grew up in hawaii, so he didn't really have time to adjust to the cold weather + has a soft spot for dogs like this mfer feels bad for keeping them on a leash LMAO. taehyun's family are polar explorers so he's used to traveling back and forth between the city and the arctic. absolutely hates it. meets hyuka as a kid and helps out the huening family take care of their huskies cos he's bored and his parents are busy doing science stuff. it's a slow burn f2l tale with soft bean hyuka who cries when taehyun yells at the dogs and taehyun having to remind hyuka that it's literally their job to be sled dogs LOL.

THE SUNSUN FIC AHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN i don't have a title for it yet but it's gonna be a soulmates!au thing where sunoo is literally obsessed with finding his soulmate and sunghoon being skeptical about that shit (this is a world where soulmates are just a superstition). sunoo is a dumbass and tries it all: tarot, crystals, palm reading, chinese numerology, sticks, and basically everything without realizing that sunghoon's right there the whole time. (also an ice skater au where sunghoon gets distracted every time he has to dance with a partner because all he sees is sunoo on his arms)

phew this was long neway may post these on my ao3 too cos ngl tumblr literally hates ship fics LOL

#ujuasks #i just know people are gonna call me problematic #y'all are just homophobic and i made it super clear on each fic that everything is FICTION !!!!!! #FICTION !!!!!! #HOMOPHOBES FR

[suchsaccharine]

more

today i am fighting off offers of lunch and dairy products.

i settled on some tea.

god people just never leave you alone when you say you are good on food lol.

 i explained that i had a milkshake last night and im lactose intolerant so im still digesting that. so they went to look for other kinds of milk, like ?? ma’am, i am good. thank you soooooooo much < 3 lmao so now i’ve got a cup of black cherry herbal tea. 

scheduled myself some time off during my birthday and the week after. the week after, i will stay in ohio. i am putting “Do Not Schedule” on random days in my shared calender to remind myself not to schedule myself for every day lmao.

-

i fucking failed as fuck to not binge last night. i had 3 fucking tacos and then a stawchz mikshake. ew. BUT to be fair, i had sort of been craving a milkshake for a few weeks and i hadnt gotten one bc it was never the right time. 

studying the nutrition part of my cert. it is a lot easier to wrap my mind around. weight loss and food intake and pharmacology has been a hyper fixation of mine since i was 16/17. so for over ten fucking years now! i cant believe my 28th birthday is next month!! you know what!!! i don’t give a fuck that i’m turning 28 anymore at all. im still in my twenties. i might as well make this the best two years in my twenties yet. i can’t believe what has taken place over the span of 10 years. shit, 10 years ago, i was getting ready to graduate in less than a week. i had no children. i had no clue what it was like being an addict. i had never smoked mef. at most, id taken roxys and methadone regualrly but not enough to make me a fiend. some pins and zans. i smoked weed everyday for years already at that point. anyway, i have two more years to add definition to my twenties. if i was sober by my 23rd birthday, 4 years sober, plus the last two. that means i’ll be more sober in my twenties than intoxicated. i need that rebound.

ope. my client just woke up. yeah im at work. im gonna have to go get him set up in his recliner if he’s wanting off the couch from his nap. 

today: collagen face mask, too many kpins, drank, walk, soak nails in acetone, remove nails, antibiotics x3/d, wart remover x2/d, manicure, grapefruit juice, smoke weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, do mad dabs.

#mad dabs #weight loss #milkshake #lactose intolerance #no thank you #tea #herbal #smoke weed everyday #nutrition #training #studying #classes #personal training #disordered

[placidsloth]

things customers have said to me

im actually done collecting pokemon cards, shoes are kinda like my passion now. plus id rather drive my car down to florida full of shoes rather than my pokemon cards (its two binders dude its literally smaller than one shoebox)

get anything new in? (greg you were here yesterday, nothing has changed)

do you have this comic book store specific cover variant of this comic that came out today? i know its not this comic book shop, but i figured you might still have it (we're a very small store ha ha... that means no)

could you get me this 20 year old comic? your distributor should have it right?

yeah this comic has an important first appearance in it, i'm surprised you guys have any copies left. (yes because avengers #58 or whatever that came out 3 weeks before is such an important issue, thats why we only ordered one and sold none)

do you even know who damian wayne is? you know dick grayson isn't robin anymore, right?

do you sell manga? (sir this is a comic book store, any manga we have is entirely an accident)

you know, they use anti-depressants to keep sexual deviants and sociopaths like ted bundy from wanting to have sex while in jail, i dont understand why they dont just give everyone anti-depressants because literally every person is a little bit of a sociopath. i think putting anti-depressants in the water supply would probably reduce the number of jackasses in the world (terrifying thanks)

i thought that guy was gonna come at you when you said your boss was going to come talk to him about his order lol. i work with cops a lot and he reminded me of a junky looking to score a hit. but you handled that really well! good job! (way to make me feel safe dude)

no but the bionicle comic was one of the top selling comics of the year when it came out (somehow im not so sure about that.)

i wish there was a comic with like the members of the batfam you don't get to see usually (well actually there's an ongoing batgirls title, and tim drake has a mini-series-) no but like a good one, you know? (-.-)

how am i supposed to know what comic this is? (did you try looking at the back? it should have the name there) yeah it wasnt there (are you sure? flip it over for me?) okay i swear that wasnt there before

oh wow why is this comic so expensive? why would anyone pay $500 for a comic they cant even read? (i ask myself that every day)

damn i thought that guy was gonna lose it at you when you said you didn't have that item haha

nah man i just want venom stuff. i like to think of myself as the anti-hero of my life (i had to drop my stapler and lean down to pick it up so they wouldnt see me laugh at them)

wow, in the time ive been here, youve gotten hit on by three different guys! does that happen a lot? (i do not remember being hit on, i remember helping customers and chatting with them?)

so you're like 16 right? how long have you been working here? (4 years... i'm 23...)

oh i wasnt expecting to see a girl working here! are you the owners daughter/girlfriend/wife? (no thank god)

man if only my mom/wife/girlfriend/mother-in-law didnt give away/get rid of/lose/burn/throw out my comics/pokemon cards/magic cards i could be a millionaire right now (x to doubt)

#i love my job sometimes #other times i could burn it down and feel no remorse #comics #customer service #my boss also says the damndest things #i texted him a three sentence question and his only response for 2 hours was “long.” #all lowercase and everything #sometimes i really wonder what goes on in his head

[stellacarrierimaginationbuilders]

Music Playlist Creative Fiction Genre Writing Indirectly Episode 1 Inspired By Resurrecting The Teenage Valedictorian Spirit Within 18 Months andor Sooner Episode 1

intent: I Stella Carrier channel creating heaven on earth happiness unity faith hope with my fun writing therapy of creative fiction writing

Start Time Thursday June 16, 2022 by sometime after approximately 621 am

Completion Time Thursday June 16 2022 , 2022 by 634 am

A Charismatic and Intuitive United States Navy Public Affairs Officer checked into the Recreation Resort Hotel in 2122 Iceland utilizing the alias Wonderland to allow hopefully allow himself some popularity while staying at this resort partially stemming from both his illustrious military career and the physical resemblance he has to Damon Albarn from the 2000s era in the Heavy Seas of Love music video. Wonderland has a brother who is a cook for the military sealift command on the same United States Navy Base that Wonderland is based out of. Wonderland garners additional popularity because his cook brother also enjoys some popularity stemming from the good looks he inherited because one of his ancestors from the 2000s who looks like one of the female beauty models from the music video by Guru Josh Project titled Infinity (the version via Klaas Vocal Mix Ultra Music). One of his ancestors actually came to Wonderland in a sleeptime dream who looks like one of the group members of ZZTop during the Tush song era explaining that they are going to benefit from looking at an upcoming tarot reading referencing ancestor communication because one of their celestial spirit guides gifted them with a message in that reading.

Resources

Heavy Seas of Love Song by Damon Albarn-youtube music video from April 22 2014 via the Damon Albarn youtube music channel

This Heavy Seas of Love song is well crafted. I confess I became aware of this song after seeing it referenced through the radio x UK website

Infinity Song Gury Josh Project Klass Vocal Mix Ultra Music via the Ultra Music youtube channel

The metaphoric lane of music nostalgia reminds me of this spectacular infinity song by guru josh, I am very happy that this song is still freely available online to listen to especially because I prefer to give myself some time to eventually recall which future trance music collection where I heard this memorable song at least over 10 years ago

Tush ZZTop-2006 remaster version from November 28 2014 via the ZZTop youtube channel

ZZTop Rough Boy song-entry to be added within 4 days andor sooner from now

idea stemming from seeing a fascinating upcoming tarot card reading titled Success Coming Through An Ancestor About To Contact Through A Dream Putting You Up On Game via the spiritual gangsta youtube channel premiering 6-17-2022 around 222pm

In real-life I was class valedictorian in the 8th grade out of a class of approximately 389 people around the 1996 timeframe

https://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/hotel-names.php

intent to utilize apassion2022-29 600 song music youtube playlist, magical powerful me youtube playlist and a youtube playlist that I intend to keep secret for at least 23 minutes andor longer from this posting.

I had a successful tubal ligation permanent female sterlization surgery through the Planned Parenthood clinic of San Diego California by the April 2004 timeframe which fortunately my husband was supportive of me obtaining, I am very happy to have made the decision multiple years later for multiple reasons, one reason I feel comfortable sharing is the complete freedom and abundance of time I have to pursue my career and money goals and improve myself in certain other goals regardless of any help andor encouragement I get from friends andor allies in my personal andor work/career life.  

https://www.yahoo.com/news/got-fallopian-tubes-removed-cant-165517186.html

I Got My Fallopian Tubes Removed by PollyAnnaBrown Wednesday May 4 2022 1255pm

https://www.yahoo.com/news/got-fallopian-tubes-removed-cant-165517186.html

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/ana-navarro-says-republicans-have-mistresses-that-get-pregnant-and-theyll-regret-overturning-roe-080922965.html

anna navarro says republicans have mistresses by stephen proctor wednesday may 4 2022 at 409 am

I confess that I voluntarily had successful tubal ligation (permanent female sterilization surgery) performed on me at a California Planned Parenthood clinic around April 2004 and so abortion is one issue that I am going to have the privilege of being concern-free about during my current earth lifetime. However for other women and men indirectly andor directly impacted by what Anna Navarro is mentioning I do tragically believe that Anna Navarro’s words about abortion may eventually end up proving to be somewhat prophetic because it is common knowledge that many consenting age men and women on both sides of the political aisles are sometimes far from immune from the temptation of what can happen outside traditional romantic relationships andor marriages and removing the option for abortion for millions of women affected by this option could increase the numbers of children born to couples where one andor both parents may not be fully available because of one andor both parents already having previous obligations with previous andor existing family andor children dynamics.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/ana-navarro-says-republicans-have-mistresses-that-get-pregnant-and-theyll-regret-overturning-roe-080922965.html

my comment

I confess that one of the reasons why I view this page is because the music video features ample appearances of the lead singer Travis Meeks However this song is enthralling to listen to and the feature of Nicole Scherzinger of Pcd is also interesting

Days Of The New vevo youtube channel with at least over one million views

my comment

I know it is scandalous for me to admit this however I came to this page just to be able to view the music video featuring the singer for some reason, however the music and lyrics to this well put together song also makes this tragic song magnetic to listen to.

Johnny Hates Jazz vevo youtube channel official music video March 7 2009 currently at least 11,187, 324 views

my comment

I confess that I am pile 3/group 3 and I must admit that a multiple number of your references are very accurate even with my intent to become an improved version of myself within 17 to 18 months from now andor sooner. The references to being ok with being outdoors (especially because part of my current job involves me being outside at least part of the workday) and being health conscious and spiritual especially resonate because I admit that one of the reasons why I have improved being more consistent with my fitness regimen is because I have unexpectedly discoverd that sometimes part of my intuition is activated andor strengthened/enhanced from a certain amount of consistent physical activity/movement.

What Would A Tarot Reader Tell Your Person of Interest About You via LeoInDa3rdHouse youtube channel currently with at least 4390 views

my comment

This encouraging and insightul Your Comeack Will Be Greater Than Your Setback, Blessings Coming In When You least expect via the Spiritual Gangsta is definitely a spiritual gift that I am glad to have found today, even before luckily coming to this channel today I had intuitive faith that my career and money goals are going to transform around for me within 17 months andor sooner however this illuminative and celestial spiritual gift reading that I strongly feel that I was encourage by both my intuition, higher self and celestial spirit guides to access gives me additional celestial food for thought on experiencing and feeling even more creative and outside the box ways on achieving various goal objectives.

Your Comeback Will Be Greater Than Your Setback Blessings Coming In When You Least Expect via The Spiritual Gangsta youtube channel June 15 2022

my comment

I am pile 3/group 3 of this very intriguing original How Does Your Person Think You Feel About Them via the Moon Moth Goddess tarot card reading and I must say that it is highly accurate especially some of the references to the why on hiding alot of my feelings for certain reasons especially because I did confirm to them at least over 6 months ago on how i feel what also makes the situation trickier was recently I literally and unexpectedly encountered someone in my real life who had a similar physical appearance build and first name as the person indirectly inspiring me to view this one of a kind reading and with humble intent and appreciation for this unique reading I say unexpected because even I encountering someone in my real life resembling them who also seemed one of a kind like they are was unexpected both because I have been recently this year postponing being more social than I should be abd also because quite some time has transpired from the other time I have seen them in person, still I am happy glad to have found your fascinating reading today.

How Does Your Person Think You Feel About Them Pick A Card How Do They Think You Feel Moon Moth Goddess Youtube channel April 18 2022

my comment

This tarot reading of This Person Is Destined To Be In The Public Eye via the goddess energy tarot is fun to listen to and very entertaining in an encouraging and joyous way.

This Person Is Destined To Be In The Public Eye goddess energy tarot youtube channel with currently at least over 31000 views

my comment

This Caprese Salad featured via the online culinary school youtube channel looks very delish, easy and affordable to make.

How To Make A Caprese Salad Recipe Tomato and Mozarella Salad via the Online Culinary School youtube channel with at least over 320000 views

Intuition by DJ Encore via the DJ Encore youtube topic channel from July 31 2018

This Tarot card reading of Discovering the Power of Forgiveness via The Spiritual Gangsta youtube channel is definitely the insight I had to be reminded of today especially with the intuitive realization I gained earlier that I am going to have to be a little more persistent and bolder with the pursuit of certain goals I intend to make happen by a certain timeframe.

Discovering The Power of Forgiveness Finding The Key To Healthy Connections Coming via The Spiritual Gangsta youtube channel April 16 2022

my comment

I am card 3/group 3 of this very powerful Pick A Card Will I Be Rich Successful Famous Powerful via the Moonlight Guidance Tarot. Even is before coming to this empowering reading I had an intuitive feeling that it might take me anywhere from around 5 to 17 months to manifest the abundance and success that i secretly crave. However it is great to know from this insightful reading that the prosperity, abundance, and increasing essences of love that I have hoped for inside are there for me to manifest in a bigger way provided I channel my freewill constructively what resonates is how I have been able to successful channel rejection and my hard work into eventual triumph victories and miracles even in ways that are better than even I expected, the reminder of my spirituality is a message that I believe that my celestial spirit guides intuition and higher self wanted me to hear. I confess that another reason why your reading is eerily accurate is because I have been working towards eventually rejoining the military (I am prior navy service who was overjoyed last September when I found out that I still luckily qualify to rejoin it is just that I am in the process of resolving some paperwork issues that are to be looked into in order to help the process along). I intend to refer to this empowering reading for both present and future reference. Still, an idea also came to me today to consider that is related to my current job that I am already doing that would also help me increase my income and success. I am very happy that I listened to my intuitive guidance and guidance of my celestial spirit guides and higher self to view this reading.

Youtube Tarot Reading of Pick a Card Will I Be Rich Famous Successful Powerful Tarot Card Charm Money Reading via moonlight guidance tarot with over 117 million views

[dyketubbo]

EDIT (10/7/21, og post made in August)

editing this post since apparently people are still finding it but anyways while im not going to take the post down because i personally just dont like deleting posts and i still agree with some of the things said id prefer that if you find this post that you just. didnt interact with it, at least not if youre not going to be respectful. this post is from august, before the clip of phil saying hes fine w qpr hcs (even if i have complicated feelings on that clip, i dont want to risk getting into discourse about this shit again).

it started a giant discussion and got me people harassing me and talking behind my back, one person even telling me people had groups talking about me, it got me being called arophobic, anti-polyam, claimed i was calling people racist and misogynistic, i got told i didnt have friends, i had people vague me and misinterpret what i said and meant, and through it all i had a total of maybe two or three people at most that disagreed with me and were respectful about it. everyone else that disagreed either resorted to vaguing me (or others that stood by me) or they insulted me to my face (in some cases insulting me then blocking me so i couldnt respond).

many of these people were adults. i had recently turned 16 the month before. i dont mean to pull the whole "oo im a minor and neurodivergent" card but the shit that came from this post, that had at the time barely even reached over 500 notes at the discourse's height, genuinely made me relapse in a way that i just. couldnt handle. i was on meds, i took care of my pets, i distracted myself, i talked to my friends, even talked to my therapist, and it didnt help because every time i came back i found another person giving me shit for it. one of my friends tried to defend me and got people targeting them, insulting them and saying increasingly concerning things about me, and they had to leave the fandom for a bit because of it.

i dont trust a good portion of the fandom because of this mess. i dont trust a lot of big blogs or aeduo fans or techno fans or phil fans because of this. its genuinely concerning to me that a post like this caused harassment, even in places i havent seen, maybe even to people i havent seen. even if this post is still vaguely accurate to how i feel about the situation (mainly, how i feel about it all overshadowing kristin and phils relationship) and i still stand by my idea that qprs count as shipping and that because they arent strictly platonic for many people that i cant be comfortable with qp aeduo, i just. dont want people interacting with this, at least not unless you just want to spread the info in this edit or because you want to say something respectfully. otherwise, i just. want this to be left behind me. even to this day i still get paranoia spikes and nearly panic remembering everything that happened because of this post, and being reminded of it just. sucks. if you want to clear anything up feel free to contact me in some way, but if you see this in the tags while browsing somehow, sorry for the long post, and thank you if you read all of this. have a good day

End of Edit (all text below unedited from when the post was originally made)

btw since kristins been confirmed to be canon multiple times over the past like few months and philza has expressed discomfort with shipping content that isnt him and his literal wife can we as a fandom agree to fucking quit it with treating c!emeraldduo as anything other than friends/family ^^ thatd be great. and yes i mean even the fuckin "platonic" marriage shit, even qpr hcs, just let them be friends.

please god stop acting as if a m/m relationship is inherently better than a m/f relationship especially considering how fuckin shittily the fandom treats kristin already, constantly making her out to be some skinny white girl instead of the fat woc she is. just like. let c!emeraldduo be besties, let c!phil and c!kristin be in a happy marriage, quit going against the cc boundaries because you prefer to ship two average white dudes rather than just accept that ones canonically married to the self-insert of his actor's wife. yall all about minorities until ones actually involved and then suddenly its all about your precious white cishet dudes. my god.

#the marriage/qpr stuff was already ehhh bc again. boundaries. but now its just even worse bc kristin is literally canon to the smp #philza #technoblade #emeraldduo #kristin trixtin #mumza #dsmp #discourse #mask mews #tags after this are edited in #negative #long post #ask to tag

[zombie-techpriest]

My Primarch Top List

This is just my Personal Opinion!!

From least to favorite.

18. Lorgar   I can‘t say that his story isn‘t interessting, BUT I have a BIG Problem with Religious Fanatics and because, he is an Asshole. Thanks Lorgar, you ruined the Imperium (Sort of) -10/10

17. Mortarion Simple Problem: I can‘t stand Body odor or bad smells in general and he is the embodiment of bad smell and everything disgusting. His Character… no...Just no… But like with Lorgar, his lore is interessting and the design kinda cool but NO!!! Sorry Morti but you STINK!! 0/10

16. Lion El‘Johnson Just...boring!! He is the one I always keep forgetting that he exist in the First place! I like his legions, I mostly like Asmodai that guy is so free of all humor, he is Funny. But no chance for Lion, he is boring. 1/10

15. Konrad Curze That man is my Teenage years: Cringy, Egdy and greasy hair and because he reminds me too much about Cringy Edgelords I can‘t stand him. Its the point of Edgy that stops being cool and just being Cringe. That whole Vampire thing is meh..no. Not anymore. My 15 Year old Self would have LOVED him, but now, doubled in age, he is just Cringe. 1/10

14. Horus Same as with Lion, he is just BORING!!! Even his Design is Boring! A bit Higher because, I cant forget a guy as important to the plot as Horus and I like the FAN made Stuff about him and Sanguinius. 3/10

13. Alpharius/Omegon Cool idea, not too many informations about them. I wish there would be more. But the Idea is great XD Want more 5/10

12. Rogal Dorn Well since „If the emperor had a text to Speech Device“ I like him more, but Sorry, I‘m Team Perturabo, so yeah. Also I Dislike his colors and these Armors his Sons are wearing. 5/10

11. Leman Russ The Wolf, the Space Corgy, the Emperors personal Lapdog and Trashman who does everything without asking too many questions…I have no problems with Leman BUT a bit more Brain would work Wonders…Still, I like the idea and I like wolves.6/10

10. Jaghatai Khan Design, Hairstyle, Fighting style, BEARD!! Everything Check! Cool dude, I like a man with a nice beard XD Every Primarch should have a beard! (Yes Fulgrim too!) 7/10

9. Ferrus Manus I like nearly everything about him. Many people say he isn‘t interessting, but hey, he died pretty Early before the real shit hits the fan, so imagine what COULD have been with him around longer. Also he is kinda the Techpriest version of a Primarch and...well, I love Techpriests. Also, nobody can tell me, Fulgrim cloned him to play chess with him. We all know whats really going on. 7/10

8. Fulgrim Close to his best buddy is Fulgrim, the pretty one. To be honest, I like his Demonform more than his human Form and also Slaneesh is my Favorite Chaos god, thats mostly why Fully is so high up here^^ Storys and Design is almost Aways good here, so I don‘t wanna repeat myself too often. 7/10

7. Roboute Still unsure how to pronounce his last name, So I just call him Rob, or Captain America, because thats who he reminds me of (Guess it was on Purpose) This spot in my list is Less about him and more about the wonderful, the best, the grumpiest but still so Awesome CHAPTERMASTER!!!! Seriously Marneus Calgar is a 10/10 while Roboute is a 7/10. 

 6. Vulkan Everybody loves Vulkan. The Teddybear of the group, the big strong one with the soft heart. That being said, I know he can be badass and I wanna see/read even more Badass Stuff. And he won my heart as he smashed Konrad with his hammer XD 8/10

5. Sanguinius Angelboy was always the prettier one, between him and Fulgrim in my eyes. Also I love the pure Irony he embodys by looking like an Angel, a religious figure in a time that forbids religion and his wings are part of a Mutation, but Mutants are hunted down. Love me a good Irony XD Also his Story is pretty impressive, his relationship to Horus made it all even more tragic and I love to draw him, so….8/10

4. Corvus Corax First question I have: What came first? The Primarch or the Band? And yes there is a Band named Corvus Corax XD He is like Konrad but in Cool and less Edgy. I like his legion, his Design and this man is ONLY a man with a beard and Yes TTS, because of that I love him 9/10

3. Magnus Magnus is the reason I like Warhammer 40K. He was the very first Character I ever saw and is the reason I got into it. Also my very first Primarch Figure I build and painted. His Story, kinda tragic, his powers, really awesome and his wings are prettier than Sanguinius‘ Wings! (fight me on that if you want!) 9/10

2. Perturabo Something about him is just Fascinating. So much potential but gets always ignored by his Father, no wonder he got grumpy and Angry. He is the strongest and smartest of ALL primnarch but NO, Daddy prefers Rogal over him and I understand his displeasure very much. That man needs a hug. A BIG Hug! 9,5/10

1. Angron Angry boy is my number 1. I LOVE HIM!!! His tragic Backstory makes me wanna hug him, even though I know he would kill me. Used and Abused by his owners and later by his Brother Lorgar, Angron needs somebody who loves him. And I wanna give him All the love he deserves!! 10000/10 My Baby!!

#warhamemr 40k #wh40k #primarch #roboute guilliman #sanguinius #horus lupercal #alpharius omegon #rogal dorn #corvus corax #konrad curze #vulkan #angron #perturabo #fulgrim #ferrus manus #mortarion #lorgar aurelian #jaghatai khan #lion el'jonson #magnus the red

[zipas]

Tales of the SMP; The Pit Headcanons cause im bored. Its mostly Ran sorry.

-Ran is from the City of Mizu (see post under this to read about it) and choose Technoblade as his idol because they found him highly interesting and wanted to learn to fight.

-Ran says this place is going down as it reminds him of Mizu, unknowingly heading towards its fall.

-Ran is almost completely Enderman

-Jackie actually didn't know Ran was a enderman and thought it was a disguise until he looked him in the eyes for to long and Ran started getting aggravated.

-Levi also didn't know Ran was a enderman until he spilled beer on him and his skin started to sizzle/burn and hurt Ran.

-It is rare for enderman hybrids to teleport. But Ran can do that, and also pick up blocks.

-At the end of everything, Watson somehow gets Ran to agree to travel with him.

-Lagguis is actually sick during the battles.

-King Porkius actually isn't that bad of a King. Definitely isn't best but also isnt the worse.

-Because I'm a sucker for happy endings King Porkius let's everyone live yayyyy!

-Watson is the dad figure even though he doesn't want to be.

-Jackie is 16. Ran is 19, almost 20. Watson is 35. Porkius is 36. Levi is 23. Bartholomew is 29. Edward is 28. Grievous is 22. Genevieve is 28. And Lagguis is 27.

-Ran sometimes has night terrors (about the deaths in Mizu mostly)

-During one of the rounds it started to rain, and since Ran was in the round, they got rained on. When he realized it was raining he immediately ran from his advantage point on the King of the Hill and ran into one of the open caves. Where they eventually surrendered/forfeited when the rain wouldn't stop.

-Ran is he/they.

-Jackie is basically attached to Ran, almost always seen by him. Ran acts annoyed by this but he secretly enjoys it and doesn't mind.

-Bartholomew is a drunkard of course, but when he's not drunk he is an extremely good fighter albeit easy to knock off balance.

-Genevieve is a mother figure to Jackie, and to Ran but they'd never admit it.

-Ran is actually a good fighter.

-While Ran can teleport he sometimes has problems teleporting accurately. For example if they want to teleport next to a tree, he can end up under a different tree. This is due to his hybrid status which complicates things like teleporting.

-Karl couldn't/cant tell if Watson is Phil or if Watson is a decendant of Phil.

-Porkius isn't directly related to Technoblade (like father son related), Techno is more of a very distant uncle.

-Ran is about 8'7 but is still growing and is the tallest of the group. The second tallest is Porkius at 6'9

-Ran is Ranbobs younger brother

Sorry this includes some elements of a au I have (mainly the letting everyone live) I couldnt help myself. If anyone wants to hear the au im more than happy to share!

Thats it for now tho, maybe I'll do more later.

#dream smp #ranboo #tales of the smp #tales of the smp ran #Ran #Porkius #Watson #headcanon #ranbob #Brothers au

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Hey! If your uncomfortable please ignore this ask, but i was wondering if you could write something similar to malcome & marie? Thank you! Happy belated birthday!

Thank you baby! I actually thought about this ask for a bit. As a community we do NOT support or want anything like that in our lives, okay?

But if you as a reader would be uncomfortable with reading this then do not.

this will be kinda very similar to the plot of malcome & marie sooo....

Pairings: Film creator!tom x used to be sex worker!reader

WE SUPPORT SEX WORKERS. YOU ARE GOLDEN😩🙌🏽

Summary: after a celebration its time for the downfall

Warnings: argueing, slut shamming, smut mentions. Drinking, smoking. Not proof read. TOXIC- suicide mention.

I hopw this is just as confusing as it was in the actual movie, cuz yeah. Pls dont be shy to say something about it. And tbh if it isnt that good to you i dont blame you, its currently 11:16 and i should be asleep.

You and tom walked in, a wide smile on his face as he danced around and shut the front door behind him. “Baby i did it!”

A faint smile played on your lips as you walked to the kitchen “yes you did, tom. You hungry?” You asked, opening the fridge as he went to go get a bottle of remy and two glasses, the rings shinning bright on his finger. “Yeah, can i have uh-“ he thought, stopping in his tracks and jerking his head as he couldnt think of anything.

“How about pancakes?” He randomly said and you chuckled “pancakes? Really?” “Of course! A sweet treat for a very sweet day” he walked up to the kitchen placing the glasses and the remy down.

You laughed again before taking out the pan, he also got to work by getting out the mix and the water while you got everything else. A cigarette in your mouth as tom helped light it while you mixed up the powder with the water.

“I never knew i could make it so far” he muttered, grabbing the remy and pouring it into the glass, tilting his head back and letting out a small moan from the sting in his throat. “You did a good job”

“Ya know, everyone is so judgemental, like i could walk around with my shoes untied and somebody would fucking give me a glare- or even what you call it. a stank eye” you nodded at his words letting him know you were listening, “but when i made that fucking movie i had all these women just- i cant even explain it” he shrugged, walking around the house with the glass in his hand, a wide smile on his face while you sighed and puffed out the smoke, the sizzle from the mix going on the buttered pan audible before he speaked again.

“They just kept on telling me how fucking talented i am, how i get women so fucking well. I mean goddamn im such a fucking genius” he edged on, cocky as he stomped his feet at his words,’ such, a, fucking, genius’

“Yes you are tommy” you looked down and seen the mix bubbling, taking the spatula and flipping the pancake, shifting and leaning on your right leg as your dominant hand sat on your hip, the other holding onto the cig.

“But it’s confusing. Any other time they would probably fucking- what do you call it” he snapped his fingers before taking a sip. “Aha! Fucking cancel me!” He pointed at the ceiling. “Why would they do that tommy” you lifted your eyebrow, “youre only writing a good story” you sighed, looking at the plates and rubbing a mark that was left on them.

“People now days do it just because....just because their bored- or even because they dont like them- BUT-“ he lifted his finger towards you “they have no reason to”

“Mhm, you should wait for the reviews” you took the cigarette and put it in the ash tray, taking the fire out before putting the pancake on the plate.

“They have to be good! I can make fucking millions off of this” he smiled, quickly walking over before chugging his drink.

“Yes...yes you can” “and then we could buy a fucking island, a boat and even a horse!” He laughed, amazed and he set down the glass before coming behind you, pressing kisses to your neck as he watched you put the batter on the pan again.

“What makes you want a horse?” “What makes you think about reviews?” And with that you shrugged “just because a few reporters and new york news writers like it doesnt mean that everyone will”

“Why are you being so negative? Goddamn you bring the worst out of everything y/n” he let you go, and you looked at him, giving him the famous eyes.

“The worst? How about you go fuck yourself” you said, aggressively grabbing the spatula to flip the pancake. “Go fuck myself? Whats your problem”

You stayed silent, wondering if you should just go outside and smoke another cigarette or hear him bitch and moan. “Y/n you have a problem every other fucking day. I try to talk to you but you dont. You rather talk shit and let it marinate” he rested his hands on his hips and starred at you while you bit your lip and put the pancake on the plate, grabbing the syrup you put the right amount for him before aggressively walking to the table and slamming it down.

Your heels clanking against the floor as you made your way to the bathroom. Leaving tom by his self as he let out a harsh sigh and rubbed his chin, thinking about what he should do before finally grabbing a fork to eat his breakfast.

“You know. You do the same shit every night- you curse me out then the next hour you wanna suck my dick or something” you starred at yourself in the mirror, biting the side of your cheek before you took of the heels, then coming back out.

“How dare you, thomas” you said harshly, walking back to him and watching him eat the pancakes. “How about you be fucking mature and stop eating”

“No. I dont wanna fight” he shrugged, cutting the pancakes fancy before he placed them in his mouth. “Your such a fucking bitch” your eyes squinted as you leaned forward.

His eyebrows raised and he cleared his throat “a bitch?” He let out a loud laugh, tilting his head before coming back “i think we both know whos the bitch here”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” “Oh you know exactly what im talking about” and with that your jaw basically droppped to the floor “why are you suprised?”

“Have you ever thought-“ you caught your words before repeating them “im the reason why youre gonna get millions, if i was never there for you. If you were never in my life youd still be in that house that you hated so fucking much” you walked closer.

“Trust me baby you were apart of it, but you sure as hell werent the main character” “then please-please tell me who else was doing sex for money?” You asked, and he didn’t answer, instead continued to eat the pancakes.

That made you more aggressive, quickly walking to the table and snatching the plate. “How dare you have to nerve to talk shit about me while you eat what i made you”

“Fuck you y/n” “no fuck you!” He dropped the fork, his face becoming a shade of red. “Im the reason why youre in this fucking house right now, im the reason why you have that fucking ring on your finger” you said, then put your fingers on your ring.

“Dont you fucking dare take off that 50,000 thousand ring y/n” “why shouldnt i?” “Because you love me dont you, darling?” that made you soften up a bit, taking your fingers off the ring as he smiled, telling you to come over. He sat you on his lap, taking the cigarette out of his jacket that youre wearing, grabbing the lighter from his pocket.

You put the cigarette in your mouth and he repeated the same action, lighting it for you. “I love you y/n”

“Mhm” you smiled, taking out the cigarette to press your lips on his and he rubbing your hips, the passion over the tension in the room. “Oh well i thought the movie was shit, i uh- couldnt help but think thats not how it ends” you teased with an old grandma accent and he laughed.

“Yeah i did to, how does man get with a prostitute and marry them” he teased back making you both laugh. “The movie felt so real, it reminded me of my friend miranda” you playfully said with a more younger high pitched voice.

And it went back and forth, laughs leaving both of your lips until he pushed the buttons “man she really was a thot” your eyebrows furrowed as he laughed to his self. “Man he really was desperate for a blow job” you said in your serious voice “man i wonder why he hooked up with such a thot”

“I didnt mean it like that-“ “fuck you” you got off his lap and walked back to the bathroom. “Here you go again y/n!” He shouted, and you turned back around.

“Your so fucking selfish” “we werent even talking about that-“ “no fuck you. All you do is say i-i-i” you yelled, words strong. He stood up agitated “you know what you wanna argue, lets argue”

“You gave up on me” “if i gave up on you why would i marry you” “our love was strong in the beginning and then you just-became you” you looked at him up and down.

“That was because i was in love with your body” he smiled “really? Why didnt you just leave me on the fucking street!” You yelled again, “because I thought you deserved better, maybe you should still be in that fucking old apartment with fucking big ass rats running through it, men twice your age fucking your loose ass whole”

“FUCK YOU” you shouted pointing at him “maybe i shouldve used that sloopy mouth of yours to stay on my dick so you could stay shutting up” “NO FUCK YOU THOMAS” and with that you walked away, into the room this time before tom followed behind you.

“Please leave me the fuck alone before i flip out on you, please just leave” “no”

“You know what. I feel like once you feel like you gave everything they wanted and more you expect them to stay with your sorry ass” “oh im not sorry. And thats not true” he shrugged, standing infront of the door as you sat on the bed. “Im so embarrassed to call you my husband” you shook your head.

“Why shouldnt i be embarrassed to call you my wife?” He shrugged again, leaning against the door looking at you. “If it werent for me you wouldn’t be as happy as you are now” “what makes you think im happy y/n! Im really not” “and you think i am?!” You looked up at him, getting up and walking to him but he continued to back up, until you both were in the open hallway with a table in the middle of it.

“I was never happy in the first place” you said, eyes starting to tear up. “Dont give me fucking alligators-“ “do you know how embarrassing it is for someone to tell you to get your own fucking ride home because you wanna fuck someone else?” You asked, your voice changed as you wiped under your eye, smuding the makeup.

“I had to ask Harrison to give me a ride home. I was scared tom” you sighed, shoulders becoming slump. “What if i ran into somebody i fucked? And they forced me to have sex with them again or else theyd report me to the police?” You asked, breaking down and falling to the floor while tom watched, guilt and shame all ocer his face as he leaned against the table.

“I watched you with my two own eyes make out with someone then the next day you asked me to ride you. But you wanna slut shame me for being broke and needing to survive, that broke me so much. And i did it” you choked “i gave consent everytime, brusied my knees from getting on them for you. Just to make you happy. I let you get full of yourself and now its all about you” you whispered and he came down to you, holding you and pressing kisses on your hair while you broke down more, hiding away from him. “You let me stay out there on Christmas day” a frown met on his lips, thinking back on the day and how you were probably reallty cold, he knew you couldnt stand it.

“And i gave consent to getting married to you, your such a hoe” he couldnt help but chuckle “no seriously your a hoe to feeds for attention” you made eye contact with him, and then you both broke into laughs, sniffels leaving your lips causally but easily ignored knowing you feel slightly better.

And with that you both beard his phone ding, well multiple dings. You told him to answer it, check it. And it was a review, he stood up and helped you up, walking to the livingroom before going over to grab the glasses and remy, pouring it in both cups you both took one.

“Alright, this is from whats her name....janice!” He said, sitting on the couch and you sat between his legs in the floor, sipping the drink. “Overall the movie was great. But there was a few things that werent right in my opinion-“

With that his eyebrows furrowed, you played with the carpet as you waited for him to continue, he leaned forward with his elbow on his knee using his thumb to scroll. “I couldnt understand why the character had all these strange things about her, why the sex scenes were that necessary”

“Ding ding ding”

“Shut up y/n you arent helping- i don’t understand how jhon and candy got along and became freinds if they continue to have intercourse. What the fuck are you talking about? Bla bla bla” he muttered, skimming through it “how candy and ron got along? Shouldnt they be together of they clicked so well?”

A small laugh left your lips “me and Harrison? That wouldnt be so bad”

“How in the world did they get married? Honestly the whole relationship is toxic, but i see it as they were to late to give it up, they were already in a too tight knot. Thats not true we are madly in love with each other” he jerked his head at the phone.

“Ms janice does have a point” you cleared your throat a bit. “Y/n please. Ms janice has no fucking idea what shes talking about jhon and candy are in love with each other and they have problems sometimes....well most but oh well its not to late either one of them couldve got up and go”

“Not if one loved more then the other and it was to late to go, janice is right tom” you crossed your arms.

“Do you wanna-“ “no tom i dont. Just speaking my opinion, coming from a woman your being pretty harsh about it” “well it wasnt really about candy-“

“That doesnt make any sense, shes the main fucking character” you looked at him. “It was more on how jhon viewd candy” “then why was candy always in camera”

“Because...” he shrugged. “Your so dumb” you got up and sat far away from him on the couch, he eyed you in confusion “isnt that fucking movie based off of my life. Like im some type of experiment and you solved made something out of it” you dozed off, swirling the remy in your glass. “Im not feeding into this” he ignored you, until you got up and barked at him, which he looked at you as if you were crazy before doing it back “fucking prick!” You stomped off out of the livingroom and went outside.

“Fuckin-“ he couldnt come up with anything before he let out something random “fuckin mood swinger-“ you finally took the time to take off your makeup and dress, muttering words about him “thats why he stinks, smellin like a gorrila- asshole- man whore” you took a bath too, you didnt feel your best at the moment.

Tom on the other hand just took off his shoes and aggressively stomped on the pillows, throwing a tantrum and jumping on the couch and punching air, kicking it until he accidentally fell.

By time you were dont he thought about it “harsh?” He questioned and walked into the room, finding you reading a book on the bed with the night light on and a cigarette in your mouth.

“Y/n?” “Yes thomas?” You looked up at him “harsh?” He asked and you tilted your head at him “i wasnt being harsh about it” “mhm” you shut your book and set it on te night stand, he undressed until he was in his underwear and climbed into bed with tou.

“How was i being harsh about it” you sighed and rested the cigarette in the ashtray, not putting it out just yet. “You arent really aware of others feelings tommy” you said simply. “What does that mean?” He asked, crossing his arms and sitting up next to you, both backs against the headboard and he looked at you.

“It meas i loved you more then you loved me” his eyebrows furrowed at the statement “that cant be true” “tom it is. You didnt say it but you did. You only wanted me for my body. My love and soul came later and i was to blind to notice. That was my bad”

“Loved?” He questioned. “I think i started to love you less and got on a even level with you, then we built together” you shrugged, crossed a leg over your other one and crossing your arms to. He let out a small laugh, “you know i never understood why jhon died in the end and why candy committed suicide” you said and his heart sunk a bit low.

He cleared his throat before saying something “i know you’re afraid of losing me, y/n. I never told you this but ive read your journal” he nodded his head and you bit your lip, knowing every single letter you wrote and how much it sucked thinking back about those days.

“I know how much you loved me but hated me. But something really grabbed my heart. ‘I want to keep tom, hes like my soulmate. My hearts gotton closer by every minute and moment ive been with him. Even though i feel like ive been burned by some of the things hes done, id forever love him. Losing him would be like losing me entirely’”

“I still don’t understand” you mutter, silently wondering how he knew word by word. “I took advantage of that. Because when i was done reading it i knew it was true, it is true. I couldnt feel it in my heart, thats why i picked you up and took care of you. I noticed you really care for me and ive done nothing but asked you to suck me off, i thought i was making both of us happy by giving you what you needed, or wanted. I became so happy when we got closer, you told me about your new apartment and i was so excited, but it wasn’t because of me entirely. I wanted you to myself. I needed you to myself and you needed it too. So if you lost me you would lose everything, give up on love.” Everything he said was true, it wasnt what you wanted to hear but he needed you to hear the truth.

“So candy gave up on it” he shrugged “she didnt try because there was no need to, she didn’t think anyone else would love her, ‘without tom i have no one else, i know ive done some un speakable thigns with him but i can tell by his eyes and heart that he wants something, he just wont tell me’” he smiled, quoting off of your journal again with a smile on his lips. “Thats why i try every time to keep this relationship strong, go to therapy with you, kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are everyday, cook you breakfast when i know your trying to do something new”

“So youre only doing this because you dont want me to kill myself?” “No y/n. I did it at first but then i opened my eyes and noticed how much i really fucking love you” he uncrossed his arms and reached for your hand. “And i know you love me too, on a even page” you both shared a crooked smile, using your free hand and grabbing the cigarette and putting it to your lips. The time currently 4:30 in the morning as he reached for the cig, your eyebrows furrowed as you let him take it. “Since when do you smoke?”

“Since i had too much of your bullshit” “shut up” you both laughed, slapping his chest as he handed it back, a small laugh leaving his lips. “Im sorry for giving you such a headache” he muttered and you ignored it, putting out the cigarette and turning off the night light, keeping your distance from him you got under the covers and shut your eyes, and he did the same, turning away from you so you are back to back.

A smell of bacon filled your nose when you woke up, a faint smile on your lips as you got up, walking to the kitchen and finding thomas cooking.

“Whats the special occasion?” “I know youre trying something new”

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