#i have seen approximately 30 seconds of the show but. i just know i like her.

[gabessquishytum]

So A/B/O, Dream (an omega) is forced into a marriage with Hob (an alpha) for a company merger, and save the Honeymoon where they consummated the marriage, they have a dead bedroom. Dream tries to convince Hob to open up the marriage so Hob can see other people, but they're high socity, so if Hob is seen with other Omegas, the press would have a field day. So they barely speak, and Dream is constantly wollowing in self pity that he's trapped in a marriage to a man he barely knows. It isn't until about 2 months in, Dream relizes he hasn't had his heat in a while and imdeatly takes a test. It's positive. Before Dream can even ask Hob how he feels, Hob goes into protective mode. That's his baby Dream is carrying after all, and there for Dream needs to be protected. Hob makes sure dream has lots of vitamin k, takes walks daily, gets plenty to eat. And Dream can't help but shiver at the way Hob puts a protective arm around Dream anytime the wind changes directions. He spends more time with Hob, willingly, starts talking with him, even flirts. By the time Dream starts showing, Hob and him are all over each other.

Ooo yes!! I definitely think that neither Dream nor Hob would initially react well to a marriage of convenience. Dream is deep down far too romantic to feel comfortable in a marriage to an almost stranger. And Hob is too jaded and cynical at this point to even try.

So they have separate bedrooms, and hardly even see each other because they're both busy working. Dream considers starting an affair behind Hob’s back but it isn't worth the risk, and it's not like it he has a lot of time for that anyway. Plus he's been feeling pretty under the weather...

If Dream assumed that Hob would be annoyed by the news of his pregnancy, he's so wrong. Hob smiles more than Dream has seen, and he quickly hugs Dream and starts scenting him - all stuff that he's never done before. Alpha pheromones are very important for a healthy omega pregnancy and Hob immediately starts rubbing his scent onto Dream’s skin - he's already 8 weeks along so Hob needs to make up for lost time, apparently.

Suddenly Dream is sleeping in Hob’s bed every night, and waking up to breakfast - he's convinced that Hob would feed him 24/7 if he could, he's so insistent that Dream should keep his strength up and not let the pregnancy negatively impact his health. He's not just concerned for the baby, he's really thinking about Dream’s health all the time. Like it matters to him. He won't let Dream do a thing for himself and he spends hours with Dream in his lap, exposing him to those good alpha pheromones.

They talk, first about work and family, then more about themselves. Hob talks about why he was so reluctant to even get to know Dream - he's scared of losing the people he loves, so he shut himself off. But he's over that now. Dream and the baby are more important than his fears or anxieties.

Around the end of the third month, they start fooling around. Making out and heavy petting at first. Dream is having headaches, and feels too gross to have anything inside him. But he loves Hob’s kisses, and the gentle attention to his growing belly and breasts. When the headaches finally go away and Dream feels in the mood again, he and Hob both last approximately 30 seconds before the both cum. They're so pent up (and Hob is knee deep in a pregnancy kink that he never knew that he had).

Everyone who expected the marriage to capitulate gets a big surprise when Dream and Hob throw a party for their 6 months anniversary (which also serves as a kind of baby shower type thing for Dream). Dream spends the whole afternoon regally perched in Hob’s lap being fed the choicest morsels from the buffet while Hob gazes at him like he hung the moon.

Honestly, everyone wishes they'd go back to barely speaking. The PDA is getting out of hand! Thank goodness Dream is already pregnant because the way Hob looks at him now? He'd be knocked up all over again.

#the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw omegaverse

[ok-boomerang]

if those two don't kill each other, Sokka might lend a hand

a zutara drabble

HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO MY DEAREST @hneyteacup. I wrote a birthday drabble inspired by one of your faves, SPUFFY. I however have never seen Buffy and in fact I just found out the fate of Spuffy approximately 30 seconds ago lol, BUT STILL, this drabble is inspired by them, for you 💕 HBD!!!! ILY!

--

The others might buy Zuko’s little transformation, but not Katara.

She knows exactly how sympathetic he can make his sorry life seem, all in the pursuit of Fire Nation supremacy.

So that’s why she’s been interrogating Zuko in his room for the past 15 minutes. She’s made him promise he won’t fire bend at her, and she did not feel a tinge of regret when he frowned and said he would never, sounding almost hurt.

Even so, Katara stands at the ready in front of him, hands sheathed in water just in case Zuko decides to break her rule.

“So you’re telling me you saw the soldiers that were following us back in Fire Fountain City. And yet you can’t describe them?” she asks, voice dripping with disdain.

Zuko groans and rolls his eyes, almost as if this was nothing more than an annoying hassle for him rather than the serious interrogation it was. He waits a beat, staring angrily at the floor, before he lifts his head to meet her eyes.

“Well, they were human,” he says, voice annoyingly sweet. “Two legs. Two arms.”

Katara scowls.

“They were wearing helmets,” Zuko says in exasperation. “Am I supposed to be able to recognize soldiers by the way they walk?”

“Maybe!”

At this point, Sokka enters with a steaming cup of tea. He takes one look between the two—the scowl on the prince’s face and the murderous intent on Katara’s, and mutters, “Not sure you know what you’re doing, sis.”

At this, Katara transfers her glare to her brother, though he only rolls his eyes too.

Katara huffs and takes the tea that Sokka brought, silently dismissing him. Sokka sends what seems to be an apologetic look (traitor!) to Zuko before wordlessly exiting.

“It’s about time,” says Zuko when Katara hands him the mug of tea. “Hope he got it warm enough, since you’re forbidding me from bending.”

Katara ignores him. “How did you even get here?” she snaps, hoping that asking this question for the umpteenth time will expose how he’d been following them for weeks (which was likely!) or how he’d kidnapped some of their friends to get their location (even more likely!).

“I told you; I stole a war balloon and followed you from Caldera.” He takes a sip of his tea and sighs. “I’m done. Let me talk to Aang.”

“Not yet! I’m not done!”

Zuko purses his lips but doesn’t argue any longer.

“How did you break into the North Pole?” Katara finally asks.

Really? Zuko’s expression seems to ask.

For some reason, he smirks at her. “Hmm, I’m not sure.”

“Tell me.”

“I’m trying to remember,” he says, putting down his tea to make a show of tapping his chin. “It was very traumatic.”

“How long are you going to pull this crap?”

“How long are you going to keep me prisoner in my own room?”

Katara sniffs. “I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me something worthwhile.” Until he proves to her that allowing him to stay here will have some sort of benefit.

“Fine,” Zuko says, lying back and stretching out on his bed. One arm holds his head up as he watches Katara over his nose. “We can stay here all day and all night, with you—what did you call it?—interrogating me.” He smirks again, the crooked expression on his face downright infuriating.

Katara abruptly changes tactics, crossing her arms and stepping toward him, the water falling from her hands in large splashes that she ignores. “You know what, I don’t think you want me to leave you alone,” she says slowly, her lip curling in satisfaction. “I’m the only one who will talk to you, anyway.”

Zuko’s smirk falls, and Katara feels a little flame of triumph in her chest roar to life.

“Right, I don’t want you to leave me alone,” he parrots, the bite back in his voice. “I definitely want to be constantly reminded how much you hate me.”

Katara does not feel another twinge of regret. She does not push anything away.

Instead, she falls to her knees with a mocking gasp.

“Does his highness require better accommodations?” she says, her voice warbling. “Better amenities?”

“Katara—” Zuko says, unamused.

“An innocent victim to burn, perhaps?”

“Katara, please—” Zuko says, voice more serious. But she keeps going.

“Do you require a maiden before you cooperate?” she taunts, crawling toward him and exposing her neck. “What about me? Will I do?”

At this point, Zuko is exhaling smoke, but he’s not bending. She wonders how far she can goad him. She crawls closer until she’s at the edge of his bed and mockingly reaching toward him.

“Please, your highness, what must we do to please you?!” she all but shrieks, vaguely feeling like she would make a great actress as Zuko slowly shakes his head, as if to say What did I do to deserve this?

Well, she can think of a lot of things!

Just when she thinks of naming all those things to Zuko, she suddenly hears the swish of a cloak behind her and the sound of wood hitting the ground. Her and Zuko both turn toward the noise, to see Aang, a confused smile on his face, his ears a little pink, and his glider in his hand.

“Um—Katara—I think I’ll talk to Zuko now,” says Aang slowly, eying her strangely. She’s about to ask what’s up with him before she realizes her arms are sprawled beseechingly toward Zuko, her body half on his bed and half on the ground.

“Right, yes!” she says, getting up daintily and wiping her tunic with her hands as if what she’d been doing was perfectly normal. “I’ll just be—”

Inexplicably, she looks back to Zuko, who is also watching her, bemused.

“Bye!” she squeaks to the room with a hurried wave.

She’s talking to Aang, of course. Not Zuko.

Definitely not Zuko.

#zutara #zuko x katara #zutara fanfiction #drabble #bday drabble #for ej #many thanks to susiesundrop for helping me with the Spuffy Dynamic (tm)

[chongoblog]

Brawl Tier List (Based On The Relevance of What They Were Doing When We Meet Them In Subspace Emissary)

I'll explain some of my choices under the cut

So a lot of these choices are pretty obvious, although some are a bit iffy or require explanation of the Subspace story which can be found in trophy descriptions & The Dojo.

The first category was for characters who were engaged in the Subspace plot from the get-go and were the "good guys". In case you didn't know, King Dedede is the hero of Subspace, and if it weren't for him, Tabuu would have won, since he made the "reset badges", and his initial plan was to hold onto some people and give them the reset badges in case Tabuu used his Off Waves. Meta Knight is considered to be a good guy, even though he mostly just wanted to get the Halberd back. Fox I put into this category as well since he's first seen giving chase to the Halberd in his Arwing, so I consider that pretty engaged, even if we don't know the exact reasoning.

The second category is open and shut. They're the Bad Guys. Ganon, Bowser, and everyone's favorite winner, Wario. Technically Wario kinda defected from Tabuu and wanted to just steal all the trophies, but I'm counting him here.

Next was the "Used by Tabuu" tier. According to the lore, the entire Subspace Army is made from the power of Game and Watch (although it says the Game & Watch are unaware of this). Pikachu's electricity was being used to power a lot of the operations (most notably the Subspace Bomb Factory iirc). And it's implied that R.O.B was coerced into helping Tabuu, feeling so ashamed that he put on the Ancient Minister garb to hide himself out of shame.

The "Was Doing What You Expect" Tier is a tricky one, since some characters like Mario & Kirby weren't doing what you'd expect in their normal games, but they were fighting, which is something you'd expect in Smash, but I was kinda lenient. Pit was watching from Skyworld, which is in character. It's shown that Pokemon Trainer was looking for Ivysaur and Charizard, so we can assume he was on that journey when we found him in the Ruined Zoo. ZSS's motivations are kind of unclear about whether she knew about the Subspace Bombs and tried to stop them or if she just knew her Power Suit was there and wanted to get to it. I always figured it was the latter, so I'm putting it in this tier. Marth was defending a castle, which sounds right (I haven't played Fire Emblem). Ice Climbers were climbing ice. Monkeys were getting their bananas. Link was getting Master Sword. Yoshi was sleeping (which only gets him out of "Just Standing There" tier because he is Yoshi).

Next are the ones who just kinda showed up. And it so happens that all five of them make a pretty grand entrance. Sonic is the obvious example here. Ness also counts since there's no implication that either he or Lucas actually live in or even near the Ruined Zoo, but then again in the dialogue-less cutscenes tying together over 30 characters, I don't think that detail was important. Falco makes a grand entrance, although you could argue that he was meant to be Fox's backup. Ike makes a grand entrance with this Great Aether. Captain Falcon literally shows up to jump out of his car, punch a robot and kill approximately 50 aliens in one fell swoop, so either there was an F-Zero track around the Island of the Ancients that we don't see and he quit in the middle of his race to do that, or he just did that. Either way there's something wrong with him.

And then finally we have the characters who were Just Standing There. Luigi obviously was minding his own business when he got got by Dedede. Peach and Zelda I almost put in the "Doing What You Expect Tier" (or at LEAST Peach since she knew Mario at least), but honestly? They were just standing there. No hate, obviously. Sometimes you just gotta Stand There. Olimar was minding his own business letting his Pikmin eat a robot before they were murdered. Lucario was vibing on top of a mountain (as you do). Lucas was just being sad. And Snake? We don't see any sign that he's on a mission. We just see that he's been on the Halberd for an undisclosed period of time before dramatically revealing himself way way later. I like to imagine he accidentally fell asleep.

And then the last tier are for the 3 characters that are unlocked after Subspace, so I don't really count them.

Anyway in case you can't tell I am back on my ADHD meds! Hope you enjoyed this. See you all for the Nuzlocke stream later.

#smash bros #subspace emissary #tier list

[lilsunflower95]

It's Just a Crush: Chapter 2 ~ 30 Hours

Pairing: Soloist!Taehyung x actress!OC

Genre: Fluff

Rating: T - SFW

Word Count: 2,403

Warnings: none

Disclaimers: This is just fiction and not my true view of anyone.

Summary: Taehyung and Hyori practice their Spanish and get to know each other on the flight to Mexico.

AO3

“Ah….” Mei skimmed the message that had just come through on her phone. She smirked and laid it face down on her lap as Hyori looked up from the language app on her own phone. “Mr. Kang has advised that our flight will last approximately 30 hours with two layovers. The first will be in Los Angeles, and the second will be in Mexico City. We’ll have tonight to settle in and filming will start Sunday. There will be a game at first to see who will be a chef and who will be doing other tasks. If you want to do a trial run of your recipe, we can arrive on set an hour early.”

“Yes, I think that would be wise.” Hyori nodded and glanced out her window as the city raced past her. “It’s been a while since I’ve cooked. It’s been a while since I’ve seen my own home. It’s been a long time for you too.”

“But worth it.” Mei smiled, putting her hand on Hyori’s arm.

Hyori returned the smile and glanced back out the window when the SUV pulled into the airport and began maneuvering towards the private tarmac. “We’re not doing a photoshoot? Who else is here?”

She twisted in her seat as lights strobed near the entrance she would usually go to. 

“No, not this time.” Mei typed quickly on her phone, her lips pulling down as she clenched her teeth as if she could obscure her smile.

“What’s funny?” Mei looked up with an arched brow. “Mei… tell me, please? What’s funny?”

“Nothing! Absolutely nothing!” Her nails began clicking on the screen faster as the private jet came into view. “The hotel is gorgeous as always. There’s even a hot tub that overlooks the bay. I’m sure after this flight, that’s going to be a delight!”

“You’re hiding something.” Hyori watched the jet come into view as a light rain began to fall.

“No!” Mei put a hand to her throat as though she were offended. “Why would you say such a thing? I’m innocence personified.”

“That’s exactly what a liar would say.” Hyori chuckled and frowned when the vehicle drove around the plane where another SUV was parked. “Who is that? What’s going on?”

Mei shrugged a shoulder as then went back to typing on her phone. 

“Mei… tell me.” Hyori’s voice became more firm as she glanced out the window again, her heart beginning to throb in her ears. “What’s happening? Who is that?”

“Relax. It’s just Taehyung.”

“Tae… what?” Her shoulders sank as a man with impeccably gelled hair in a black suit stepped to the side to reveal Taehyung. His hair was lightly curled, his red button-down had the top few buttons undone to tantalize his fans and had been tucked into a sleek pair of black trousers. “Oh no.”

“Relax. You said you wanted to get better at improv.”

“Not like this. Mei!” Hyori whined before taking a deep breath and gathering her things as the vehicle pulled to a stop. “I’m going to look like such a fool. Whose brilliant idea was this? This is because of the fashion show last month, isn't it? Is this a rumor online? Was I put into this to draw views in some kind of ‘will they won’t they’ thing?”

“Relax. Be you. This is gonna be great! Now get out.” Mei pushed her as the driver opened the door for her and held his hand out to help her down.

He’s gorgeous. How am I going to do this? I’m going to be such a googly eyed…. No. No. You’re an actress. A very good actress. Right? Yes. You’ve won a ton of awards. So do what you do best and act. Ready? Set. Scene.

Hyori took a deep breath and fixed a smile upon her face as Taehyung turned to greet her. 

She refused to let her knees go weak or her shoulders slump in adoration or to let her eyes go dreamy when he smiled at her.

“Miss Yoo, I’m Kim Taehyung.” Taehyung bowed to her and then took her hand when the two straightened up. His hand was warm and softer than she thought they’d be. She’d seen so many videos of him in his exercise room. She thought they’d be roughened up from lifting weights or pull-ups. “It’s an honor to meet you at last. I’m a fan of your work.”

“Oh, why thank you very much! I’m a fan of yours as well.” She glanced up as Mei held an umbrella up over her. “We should get on the plane.”

“Après vous.” Taehyung motioned to the ladder, the slender bracelets he wore catching her eye before her smile returned.

“Oh thank you.” She and Mei ascended the ladder and sighed when they stepped into the quiet and warm cabin. You speak French?”

“Just a little. Not as much as you do, though.” Taehyung chuckled and took a seat across from her, brushing his hair from his face as he kicked one foot out and rubbed his knee. “I was assured knowing what I do would help with a crash course in Spanish.”

“Ah, then you and I are in the same boat. I downloaded an app.”

“As did I.” He shrugged and glanced down at his phone as you buckled your belt. “But, I’ve always found it easier to study languages with other people.”

What did that mean? Did he… was he…? With her? Was she overthinking?

She was aware of her eyes growing wide as Mei nudged her elbow into her ribs, bringing her back to reality and into action.

“Well, I don’t know much myself, but if you’d like to practice with me, I’d appreciate the help.”

Taehyung looked at her from beneath his lashes, a smile slowly blossoming on his lips as he leaned towards her. He swayed slightly as his tongue found the corner of his mouth, sending her heart into outer space. “That’d be great. Thank you.”

A soft snore beside Hyori drew her attention away from the flash card on her phone. She looked at Hyori and held a hand over her mouth to hide a giggle. She looked back over at Taehyung and pointed, pushing herself as far back into her seat as she could as he peered around her. “Mei fell asleep.”

“So did Seungheon.” Taehyung motioned with his thumb to his assistant who had his head resting against the wall with his arms crossed his chest.

Hyori stood and motioned for him to follow her a few seats ahead where she turned the soft overhead light on as he sank into the seat beside her.

She sat in silence, a smile playing on her lips as she realized how brave she was being in the moment and ran her hand down the length of her thigh to smooth her black pants before looking up at his patient expression. He’d been so kind, she’d been disarmed and relieved to be vulnerable in her quest to learn enough of a new language to get by. “I thought since it’s just us right now, we could use this time to get to know each other a bit better before the show starts.”

“Sure. What would you like to know?”

She swallowed and licked her lips. “Well… If you had three words to describe your current mindset, what would they be?”

“Hmm… I would say creative, adventurous, and flexible. My turn.” He crossed his legs towards her and rested his arm on the arm rest between them. “If you could wake up tomorrow and possess any new skill, what would it be?”

“Oh… um….” Hyori searched the ceiling of the plane for a moment, tilting her head thoughtfully. “I’d love to be able to restore furniture and make it my own style.”

“Oh, I never would have thought of that, but that’s fascinating.”

Hyori nodded and looked away shyly as she rubbed her palm with her thumb. “Who do you look up to the most?”

“Easy. My grandmother. She was kind to everyone but didn’t put up with nonsense. She held her boundaries and took care of everyone. She helped raise me and I’m very grateful to have had her in my life. She inspires me even today when I’m self-aware enough to do some introspection.”

“Ah, I think I understand. You can take a step back and ask yourself if your behavior would live up to your grandmother’s standards.”

“Exactly.” He nodded and laced his fingers together as he put his hand on his knee. “What is your zombie apocalypse survival philosophy?”

“Zombies?” Hyori laughed and crossed her legs towards him. “My knee jerk reaction would be to run away and make a tree house or go live out on the ocean. Can dolphins and sharks become zombies?”

Taehyung’s eyes went wide. “I’ve never thought of that before. Does it scientifically make sense for zombism to be only a human disease?”

“Isn’t there a fungus that takes over insects like ants?”

“You’re right! And I heard there was a fungus that could infect humans now too.” Taehyung shook his head with a cringe. “I guess if it can happen to humans and ants, maybe it’s not too far off to think it could affect marine life too.”

“Zombie sharks…” Hyori mused for a moment. “I suppose, getting back to the main question, after having a bit of a panic and breaking down, I’d regroup and try and get people together to form a new community until we can discover how to end the crises.”

“That’s probably all one really could do.”

A comfortable silence fell between them for a long while until Mr. Do, the flight attendant came up and leaned towards them to whisper. “We’ll be landing in about 30 minutes. It’s currently 23 degrees and nice and clear. Refueling will take approximately one hour.”

“Thank you, Mr. Do.” Taehyung looked back to Hyori as she cleared her throat and Mr. Do left them.

“I have one more question, if you don’t mind.” 

“Not at all. I have one more question for you too.”

Hyori giggled and fiddled with the sleeve of her shirt as she looked up at him. “What accomplishment are you most proud of?” 

He opened his mouth to speak, but paused to stare at her necklace before chuckling and shaking his head. “I don’t think I’ve told anyone this, not my mom or best friend, but I almost quit music last year.”

“Did you really?” Hyori’s eyes went wide as she twisted to look better at him as he nodded.

“Yes, I did. But then things started to really take off and now I feel like I’m on top of the world. If it hadn’t been for the fashion show… you would be having this discussion with someone else.” 

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you persisted. I very much enjoy your music.

He shifted closer towards her. “What’s your favorite song?”

“Easy. Purple.” She grinned up at him when his face lit up at the name of the song he’d released after the fashion show that had landed him several awards and the international fame he was now enjoying.

“Oh, that was a good trill!” Hyori’s eyes went wide as Taehyung finally rolled his ‘r’ and looked over at him from her phone. He practiced a few more times before he tipped his head back and pressed his hand to his brow with a sigh. She nodded and closed the app. “I think this is a good stopping point. We made good progress.”

“We did.” He cracked his neck and sat up straight. “So, tell me, how long have you known about this? The show I mean.”

“I just found out last night. Well, the other night now I suppose.” She checked her watch, amazed at the length of time that had passed since they’d left.

“The other night? Seriously?” His brows rose up incredulously.

“Yes, it was very much a surprise, but a welcomed one. I finished filming that day and was worried I’d get bored with nothing else lined up afterwards. I like to think that this was kept from me to let me focus on one thing at a time. Filming had a whole host of problems and was much more stressful than other movies I’ve done.”

He gave a hum and pouted his bottom lip. “Then I shall have to make sure you’re well looked after this week.”

Her eyes went wide as her cheeks went warm. Beside her Mei gripped her shirt in her fist as tightly as she dared. “Oh, you don’t have….”

“No, no.” He held his hand up and looked away from her. “I insist.”

Mei drummed her fist excitedly against Hyori’s back while casually flipping the page in her book as Hyori smiled shyly.

“Thank you Taehyung. That’s very sweet of you.”

“My pleasure.”

“Oh, look at this!” Mei broke the tension between Hyori and Taehyung as she snapped her book shut and pulled the shade up entirely. 

Hyori and Taehyung leaned over to look out the window as the plane’s shadow over the brilliant teal water grew larger and larger.

“Look at the water! Oh, it’s gorgeous. I hope filming isn’t too strict and that we’ll have time to go out and explore.”

“Ladies and gentlemen,” a tall, slender steward with broad shoulders stopped in front of them as they looked up at him, “we’ll be landing in 15 minutes. After, it will only take a few minutes for us to complete our final checks before you can disembark. Transportation is waiting for you at the airport to take you to your hotels.”

“Thank you very much Mr. Do.” Taehyung smiled and gave a small bow.

“Taehyung,” Mr. Sung interjected before the silence that promised to be tense could settle between the two, “you’ll be doing a brief photoshoot. You should get ready before we land.”

Taehyung nodded and stood, following his stylist to the rear of the plane where there was a small bedroom.

As soon as the door closed, Hyori released a breath and sank into the back of her chair.

“No photoshoot for you. Just straight to the hotel and to that incredible hot tub.” Mei kept her voice soft as she leaned in close to Hyori. “You did really well. I’m proud of you.”

“I’m proud of myself too.”

⏮ previous next ⏭

Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed!

Taglist:

@felicityroth

If you'd like to be added, please let me know! 🥰

#bts #bts fic #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #taehyung #bts scenarios #bts taehyung #bangtan #tae #kim taehyung #bts v #bts fluff #taehyung fluff #taehyung fanfiction #taehyung fic #taehyung bts #bts fiction

[hes-a-plant]

Make Filet Crochet Patterns!!!

I found this website called flosscross.com which is super awesome for making filet crochet and cross-stitch patterns from images.

Here's an explanation of how to use it for filet crochet:

Find the image that you want to use. It's important that your elements aren't too small, especially for filet crochet, as it's going to be pixelized. Also, keep in mind that your image will be simplified to only two "colours" - boxes that are filled in, and ones that aren't. If you have a more complex colour image, it might be a good idea to make it black and white ahead of time, so that you can have better control over what it looks like, and edit contrast. To do this, use Photoshop and "posterize" - this makes it so that there are only two colours in your image, black and white.

Go to flosscross.com. I would heavily recommend doing this on a computer, it works a lot smoother.

Import your image. It will prompt you to crop your image, you can also edit this later.

Select chart size. This is where it gets tricky. If you know how big you want your finished product to be, good for you. If you want it to be approximately a certain size, crochet a swatch to determine how big each stitch is and do some math to see how many stitches you would need. If you have absolutely no clue what size you want, and just want a pretty final product, pick an arbitrary size that looks kind of okay and bear with me.

Select your palette. If you were doing cross-stitch, this would decide which colours would be closest to the ones in your image. But, with filet crochet, there are only two colours. See the box where you can type in "Max Colours Count"? Do not erase what is in the box and type two. The website will crash. Instead, make sure that there is always a value in that box. Mine reads 30 to start with, so I will delete the 0, and replace it with a 2 so it reads 32, then use my arrow keys to go in and delete the 3 in front. Your pattern might show red and white, or blue and white instead of black and white, this is ok. It depends what colour is the most dominant in your picture. You can change this later.

Brightness and Chart Size. If you haven't picked a chart size yet, this is when you will do it. You're going to go between the chart size tab and this one, changing the chart size and the brightness. You want to find a balance between image resolution and project size. Changing brightness will make the lines heavier or lighter, and can help all elements of the image be seen. This will take a bit.

Reduce Colours. You don't really need to do anything here. Do not make your white transparent. You won't be able to count your number of stitches when reading the pattern.

Editing. Here, you can get rid of any pixels that are out of place. Make any final edits to chart size under Edit>Change Chart Size. Select the symbol that you want to represent your colours with, I'd recommend going with the white square for your white (or "empty") stitches. You can change your symbols by clicking on the little box or square under the colour that is selected.

9. Make sure the symbols look okay. Click on the box with an x in it on the top menu, and view symbols. Make sure they are legible.

10. Export your finished pattern! I like doing mine as a PDF, as it's the easiest. At this point, if you have a weird colour instead of black, you can un-check the Colored Pattern box under pattern setup.

Here are some screenshots of the pattern that I made.

Here's the first page.

Here's the second page, the actual pattern. When I print this out to use, I plan to highlight the squares as I do them.

Enjoy! Let me know if you have any questions! :D

-Cactus

#filet crochet #flosscross #Pattern making #pattern #filet crochet chart #dna #science crochet #biology #art #my art #(kind of) #Patternmaking #crochet #crocheting #fiber art #lace #science #science art #cross stitch #cross stitch pattern #cross stitch chart #filet crochet pattern #resources

[anamoli]

Experimenting with Dyeing Leather and Rubber

Since this is my first cosplay, like ever, I don't know what I'm doing. Therefore, I fucked around and found out a lot of the do's and don'ts of working with leather, dyeing leather, and dyeing rubber. I also started taking leathercrafting classes at Tandy Leather (shoutout for their free 3-session, 3-hour long classes) and gained some great knowledge on how to care for leather and your tools. I'll share some of the essential processes and techniques I've learned from them after I finish those classes.

Otherwise, here are the results of my first attempts at dyeing leather and rubber! All of these experiments (with the exception of A6) were done using Rit's All-Purpose Dye in Aquamarine. A bottle is about $5 at Joann's.

I wanted to nail down the turquoise portion of Talanah's outfit early because 1) it's a large portion, at least visually, of the cosplay, and 2) I figure it's going to take the longest to dye due to it's vibrancy. The burgundy can be slapped on and it'll look great.

Overall, the results are pretty sad, but this was a very insightful exercise.

Below is a detailed breakdown of what I did for each piece and an explanation of what worked and what didn't.

A: Leather Dyeing Experiments

Early on, I found that the color of the veg tanned leather was too dark in order to support a vibrant turquoise dye. Any attempts at dyeing the leather as-is created a dark teal color instead. As such, all of the experiments discussed in this post were performed on a sanded piece of leather. Here you can see the difference in color between an unsanded and sanded piece of leather.

I wasn't too attentive with the sanding and also learned that leaving any bits of brown showed up prominently in the final dye.

Hot Soak

A1 and A2 was created by boiling 1.5L of water with 3 teaspoons of Rit Dye. A1 was dipped and left in the pot of boiling water for approximately 30 seconds, which promptly crisped the heck out of the leather strips. Hot water bad for leather! I suppose your own skin wouldn't react too being dunked in hot water. A2 was dipped in the boiling water 3 times for 10 second increments.

Results: very dried out pieces of leather that are hard to the touch with poor color.

Direct Application of Dye Solution

A3 and A4 was created by allowing the hot soak to cool down and using a sponge to apply/rub in the solution into the leather. The leather strips were heavily saturated with the solution, laid out to dry for a couple hours, and then the process was repeated two more times. A3 had a thin application of Tan Kote, which was allowed to dry, and then was buffed with a microfiber cloth.

Results: A3 was about the same shade as A4, but adding the layer of Tan Kote seemed to have removed some color. This could also indicate that the dye solution did not penetrate the leather deeply enough. A4 is an okay color, but it is not nearly as vibrant or consistent as I need it to be. There is some streaking that can be seen from passes of the sponge.

Direct Application of Slightly Diluted Dye

Seeing that applying the dye solution as instructed by the manufacturer resulted in a color that was far too light, I opted for a cold solution of one part water to one part dye. This was applied to A5, allowed to dry, and then repeated one more time. Why I chose a one-to-one part solution is because a 100% dye application resulted in a deep blue color nowhere near turquoise.

Results: A5 is getting close. It's not as light as the previous process and definitely not as dark as the straight dye. However, it's still not where I want it to be.

Acrylic Paint

Frustrated by the lack of at least one color match, I decided to mess around with acrylic just for the sake of my motivation for this cosplay. Because of the 1000 hobbies I have, I used some tubes of acrylic I had lying around and mixed 4 parts white, two parts blue, and one part green with a splash of yellow for that extra bit of brightness. I painted a thin layer of it on a piece that is now A6 and was so happy with it that I painted two more with it (and to use all of the paint).

Do you like my very professional drying fixture? Just goes to show that you don't need fancy shit to make good stuff. Anyway...

Results: the acrylic matched so well! But I won't be using it for the cosplay because acrylic flakes like crazy. Bending the samples cracked the acrylic immediately and I know it'll get destroyed just from being within 5 feet of a rock.

However, getting A6 to match so well made A5 look like it matched just as well. At least compared to A3 (before Tan Kote finish) and A4.

Therefore, this made me research about other ways to lighten leather before applying the dye. The slight tint in A5 should theoretically go away if I can find a way to make the leather nearly white. Sanding is only going to take me so far. I'm in the middle of those experiments now and I hope it works out.

B: Rubber Dyeing Experiments

Rubber is an unforgiving material to dye. I knew going into this that it was going to be a difficult and long process to get the dye to penetrate the rubber. I also was struggling with the leather at the same time, so there are some aggressive experiments I did just to get some semblance of dye on the rubber.

Hot Soak

B1 was created at the same time as A1 and A2, but I left it in the solution for nearly two hours because I started browsing through Reddit and forgot about it.

Results: splotchy and uneven dye. Not pretty whatsoever.

Cold Soak

B2 was created by dropping a sample into the solution while it was still hot and allowed it to soak as it cooled. The sample was left in the solution for about 12 hours.

B3, B4, and B5 were dropped in after the solution cooled. B3 was removed after 12 hours, B4 was removed after 24 hours, and B5 was removed after 48 hours.

Results: trash. Basically nothing happened to B3 and B2, B4, and B5 had progressively better color, but it was still practically white. Of course, I could leave the pieces in there for more time, but after 2 days of waiting it gets kind of ridiculous! Especially for such poor results.

Direct Application of Dye

At this point, I was like, "Fuck it" and poured the dye straight out of the bottle onto a sample which is B6. I let that soak cold for about a day, rinsed it in water which washed a lot of the color away, got mad, used a sponge to really scrub dye into the rubber and the little pockets, and let that sit for another day.

When the dye isn't diluted, apparently it evaporates until there are these little blue crystals leftover. I proceeded to scrub those crystals into the rubber as well and wow, would you look at that, the color is pretty close to A6! The picture isn't a great representation of the true color, but it's actually on par with A6.

Results: Looks great! I'll need to work on not angrily scrubbing the dye in so that the results are a bit more even, but the color is acceptable.

Conclusion

Overall, I'm pretty sure I've found the method for dyeing the rubber. I'll need to replicate the process a few times to hone it down and make sure I can get consistent results, but it's a straightforward process thankfully. As for the leather, I'm in the middle of trying one last method for whitening the leather, and then I'll test out the cold soak and direct application of diluted dye on them.

#cosplay #horizon zero dawn #horizon forbidden west #talanah khane padish #leather #dyeing #this has been testing my patience #why do i have to be a perfectionist #proj-2023-00 #proj-process

[27emailsicantsend]

opinions on the trailer? I'm surprised and not in a good way they haven't broken up yet

Ahh this trailer was a lot. I will answer this question in two parts, because I think it needs it.

Part One: I think the trailer was meant to be sparse. I also felt like it was a bit lackluster (except for me rewinding the last four seconds approximately 100 times of course), but I understand why. We know that when the trailer is LACKING something, it usually means there is something BIG coming. And from what reviewers have said, this is a big episode. Some have said it’s their favorite with 5 this season. I wouldn’t worry too much that we haven’t seen much yet. I think the show is trying REALLY hard to keep us from having things spoiled, which is why they have been so withholding of information. It would also explain why we really didn’t get a sneak peek. Every Monday we get a sneak peek that Disney+ releases for the episode, but they didn’t. The sneak peek we got was from a news interview I believe with Dara? So it wasn’t even an intentional sneak peek? And it was only a few seconds long. The last ones I saw for other episodes were nearly 30 seconds or more. That hasn’t happened the rest of the season which tells me the showrunners are really trying to keep tight lipped about these next two episodes. I would say just hold tight. I think we’re going to get A LOT more than we expect (which stands true for the whole season. Every episode I think we got way more rina than any of us expected. Even color wars I was not looking forward too because I thought it was going to be this filler episode with only like, one little rina scene and then it ended up being rina at every freaking corner). “The best is yet to come” :)

I did want to comment on a few things I noticed. First, I am really excited for Maddox’s storyline and I think it will play a big part in Ashlyn’s. I think she is going to see Maddox dancing with Madison (Jojo… they’re shown holding hands in the trailer so I feel like I can make that conclusion that she is Madison and that was Ricky’s big plan was to get them together to help Jet) and feel a desire to have that too. Some important conversations around that will most likely occur. I am SO excited to see cute Sebby. I really hope they parallel him showing up late to the homecoming dance and telling Carlos he was busy milking or something and that’s why he showed up late 🥲 I am curious what the ice bucket thing is? I wonder if it’s some tradition for the director or camp prom king or something to get iced? What would be even more wild is if p*w wins king and queen, breaks up, and that is the reason only EJ is getting iced lmaooo. Someone pointed out that the scene where Gina comes up to EJ to ask him to dance, Kourt has a shocked look on her face and she is looking at ricky. I’ve seen it hypothesized (and I buy it) that Ricky finally called EJ out on his BS. Like ej said he told gina no so ricky finally just lets him HAVE IT and then kourt gives him a “look”. Then what I believe happens next is gina asks him to dance but he’s so mad at ricky that he just says something like, “I’m not feeling like it” and walks off. Gina follows him and just let’s into him as well. Tells him she’s done with how he’s been treating her and they break up. She storms over to the coat check to leave and that’s when we get the rina coat check scene. Ricky needs to finish his bucket list… do something that scares him? I think we might see that at the coat check. I’m crossing my fingers that it is finally a confession from him to her. Not as an act of selfishness while she is down. But maybe she will say something like, “am I really that impossible to love? Why hasn’t the right guy shown up and stuck around with me?” Then ricky will go, “no you’re perfect. I know there is someone out there who loves you the way you deserve. Someone who has stuck around”. Then she will go, “how do you know?” And he will say, “because it’s me” or something like that. 😉 we’re hypothesizing here lol. Lastly, I want to add something I’ve seen hypothesized a lot: that Ashlyn will take kourt’s part. I GENUINELY think that’s a misdirect. It’s kourtney’s anxiety that is stressing her out from performing. That she doesn’t think she will be good enough as the lead. So I think what will happen is she tries to get out of it with Ashlyn and Ashlyn tells her how rewarding it was to be Belle. How it changed how she viewed herself as a person and gave her more confidence or something and that will directly impact Kourtney’s ability to perform. She will use Ashlyn’s advice to help her conquer her fear of performing as the lead.

Part Two: I am surprised and not surprised p*w haven’t broken up yet. It’s been difficult to see because I think we all expected more from Gina. Gina is this headstrong girl who isn’t afraid to stand up for what she believes in and wants. She doesn’t deal with people pushing her around. So it’s been weird watching her interactions with EJ because it’s almost like she is a completely different person. She is soft and submissive. She doesn’t really stand up to him until he’s pushed her too far. Not that Gina can’t be that way, but she is soft and confident Gina when she is balanced. The only person we have seen her be that way around this season has been: Ricky. She went 1.0 with Ashlyn Kourt and the girls and 2.0 with Val and EJ. The show is purposely showing us character regression with EJ and Gina just as much as it did with Ricky and Nini. And at times the show has outright stated when these characters are regressing: when they’re in relationships with the wrong people. The Gina 1.0 comments, when ricky said he was back to who he always is, when gina called out ej for being who he used to be, etc. I think Gina being around Ricky and maybe even a convo with him? Will finally push Gina back into her regular self, even around EJ. We’ll see her stand up for herself and still be gentle as she cries about how bad things got and how she feels. We’ll see her want someone who makes her feel stable, balanced, and not in constant change and chaos like she’s always know. That person, who has been there this whole time as we know, is Ricky. I would say don’t give up hope yet. The show has been very clear p*w is not lasting much longer. I think their break up will for sure happen before season 4 as a catalyst for Ricky and Gina to get together that season. Gina needed to experience the same things ricky did before they were ready to date. Once she breaks up with p*w, she will truly be her best, most balanced self and ready for Ricky again.

#hsmtmts #rina #high school musical the musical the series #ricky bowen #ricky x gina #asks #send me asks #theory #headcanon #kourtney #ashlyn caswell #Maddox #jojo siwa #Madison #see #Carlos #seblos #jet

[infinitemiral]

Surf expo 2021 september

"The main concern has been safety," said Roy Turner, Surf Expo Show Director.īefore deciding to move forward with the in-person component at the Orange County Convention Center (OCCC), "We did research among exhibitors and attendees to determine: first, is there a market need? and second, are people willing to participate?" Turner said. The call to move forward with Surf Expo in Orlando in 2021 was complicated by so many conflicting factors the pandemic, health and safety, the fact that Florida is open for business, and market needs. I expect Q1 to be really strong for all shows.Editor's note: ALHI is republishing this case study with permission from the Society of Independent Show Organizers (SISO) in an effort to increase education on planning and executing large-scale events, trade shows and exhibitions. “Hopefully by Q1 of next year we’ll all be back on a more normal track as more people get vaccinated and as COVID starts to run through its cycle. “We are all trying to get back to normalcy with an added bit of protection,” he said. Turner expects that momentum to continue into the January 2022 show, being held January 5-7, 2022. It is exciting to see how happy the buyers and the brands are to be here.” January was very cautious, and we are still being cautious, but brands and buyers are increasing. 4Ocean also hosted after parties with beer and live music. Skate ramps were brought back for the September show and fashion shows again took The Stage. The September 2021 show also marked the return of some activities beyond buying that were cancelled at the January 2021 show. One company Seaside Retailer spoke with even ran out of order forms and had to order more during the show. Many of the orders took place directly on the show floor. I’ve also seen some buyers here that I haven’t seen before.” “A couple buyers have said that they are waiting until January, but the majority of them are here and more. “They’re getting it done and they’re making it work within the current limitations,” said Wilkie. In other instances, Caribbean retailers are sending their Florida-based buyers to the show while they stay home. The Grand Cayman Islands weren’t as well represented as, according to Wilkie, there are still some challenges there and reopening has been slow. Stores and resorts from Aruba, Turks and Caicos, St. September is traditionally a show that attracts Caribbean buyers and this year’s edition is no exception. I don’t know how long it is going to take to get there.’” That buyer is expecting a banner travel year and just wants to be ready, she said. One buyer out of Aruba told Wilkie, “I’m buying heavy. Wilkie adds that finding new products and ways to differentiate their offerings are a main reason buyers attend trade shows and that at the September show, they are seeing “the most ‘new’ they’ve seen in a long time and they are really excited.”īuyers are also buying more than usual in anticipation of needing product. “They are so excited about all the new brands they are seeing on the show floor.” “So many buyers over the last two days have said, ‘I’m seeing so much new product, I am so excited to freshen up my shelves,’” said Kathy Wilkie, senior buyer relations manager for Surf Expo’s coastal life segment. One trend that emerged was the tremendous amount of new products available. “Everything’s been expanded,” said Turner. The layout included four 40-foot aisles called boardwalks as well as two 20-foot cross aisles to help ensure traffic was less dense. The pandemic was also evident in the arrangement of the show floor. Even though Florida’s numbers have dropped almost 50% in the last seven to 14 days, there is still a lingering concern and safety is always front of mind for us,” Turner said during the show. “We are still feeling the remnants of COVID, especially in Florida. The show still was approximately 30% smaller than it would have been pre-pandemic, according to Turner. We understand concerns but we really felt like there’s a need to meet face to face again.” “We had no outbreaks connected to the January show so we felt that with our protocols we could host a safe show. Surf Expo hosted a show in January 2021 prior to vaccinations being distributed. “The beach and resort business are having their second banner year in a row as we try to come out of this COVID situation.” “There’s still difficulty in finding product in the marketplace, whether it is at-once or pre-season orders or dealing with future supply chains, but it’s been a great year to be in the beach business,” said Roy Turner, Surf Expo show director. The industry welcomed the return to an in-person format as buyers are eager to build their inventories during what has been an exceptionally busy year coupled with shipping delays. 8-11, after a hurricane and the COVID-19 pandemic prevented in-person versions the two previous years. Surf Expo was successfully able to host its first in-person September show in Orlando, Sept.

#Surf expo 2021 september

[parttimereporter]

This video purports to show fleet of UFOs flying over Lansing, Michigan..

Scott C. Waring, a blogger, is calling it a UFO sighting.

The “reflective” objects in question were apparently spotted over Lansing, with the person who filmed them saying that they “appeared in a tight cluster” and were “moving approximately 2 - 3 miles in 5 seconds.”

“When I first witnessed the objects gaining altitude, I reach for my phone and accessed my camera, within the time frame, they had moved from the tree line to where the video begins,” the eyewitness’ account in Waring’s blog says. “These were flying at various altitudes, hovering at times.”

One comment on the YouTube video:

My gf and I live in mount pleasant Michigan, 10:30 pm june 1st we were outside having a cig when a helicopter flew over and something was in front of the copter that we really couldn't make out but could see a round shape with a red orange light on it, this wasnt a normal helicopter because I could hear what sounded like extreme compressor noise, this wasnt the first time we have seen weird objects,one other time when everyone spotted starlink, starlink is not what we saw that night, it was another copter that sounded just like the one from june 1, but in front of that one was a big black triangle with amber lights on each corner.was the last sighting, I think the military is finally letting us know what they really haveShow less

#UFO #michigan ufo #space #paranormal

[prismatic-bell]

So the other day I said a thing about how I felt like a line could be drawn between antis, and the rise of 24-hour news networks. I’ve given that thought some time to bubble to see what, exactly, my brain meant by that statement, and here’s what I’ve got:

When I was a kid (back in Ye Olde 1990s), we had three major news stations in my town: Channel 12, Channel 24, and Channel 35. These corresponded to NBC, ABC, and CBS, but I don’t remember which one was which so don’t ask me. Anyway--you had a half hour of news at 8 or 9 am (depending on which station you watched), an hourlong program at noon in which half the program was stuff like “here are today’s beach closures and some recipes and also if you’re looking for stuff to do with the kids this weekend here are local promotions,” and half an hour at either 5, 5:30, or 6 (again, depending on which channel you watched). One of the three stations also did a half-hour capper at 10pm. So unless you were watching all three stations, and picking the news every single time, the max amount of news you were going to get was like an hour and a half. If you wanted more news than that, you read the newspaper. When my mom was a kid (back in Ye Olde 1960s), this would have seemed like an inordinate amount of news--for her, it was half an hour at 6pm and ten minutes at 10pm and then the station (there was only one station that did the news) played the National Anthem and went off the air until 6am, at which time you might get like . . . the weather and a traffic report.

For anything else, you read the newspaper.

Now with only half an hour to present a whole lot of news, what are you going to do? You are going to stick to the facts. You don’t have a choice. You have a very short time to fit a whole lot of information. “Notre Dame cathedral caught on fire today. French firefighters are working to get the flames under control, and authorities in charge of the cathedral are doing their best to remove relics, paintings, and other holy objects while it’s still possible. French President Mr. Somebody addressed the nation and stated every attempt to save the building, and to rebuild the damage, will be made. In local news . . . “ And that’s it! If you want more information, you’ve got to wait for the newspaper in the morning, and you’re going to have to get a copy of the New York Times or USA Today, because the local paper will only have a blurb, and that blurb will mostly cover what you just heard!

But then the news changed.

By the time I was a teenager, the non-cable news looked like this: All three channels had a morning show that started at 5 or 6 am (depending on your station) and ran until 8 or 9 (depending on your station). The station that ended at 8am then had a half-hour morning news show. The mid-day news at 11 or 12 was still an hour. Channel 35 did a half-hour news segment at 5 and another at 5:30, back to back. The other two stations simply did an hourlong segment. And then one station did half an hour at 10:30, and the other two did hourlong segments at 10pm.

What do you do with that much time? Well, you expand. Yes, you can fit more news, but you can also fit more about the news. “Notre Dame cathedral in Paris went up in flames today. The fire began in the famous historic bell tower, and spread to the roof. At this time, portions of the roof appear to have caved in, and there are concerns about the integrity of the medieval stonework in the cathedral walls. French firefighters have been working since 8am Paris time to get the flames under control, and authorities in charge of the cathedral are doing their best to remove relics, paintings, and other holy objects while it’s still possible. Some firefighters are also helping with this project, as portions of the building have become too unsafe to enter. French President Mr. Somebody addressed the nation late this evening and stated every attempt to save the building, and to rebuild the damage, will be made. Of the cathedral itself, Somebody said, ‘Our Lady has weathered worse troubles than this. Paris as a city, and France as a nation, will overcome.’ In local news . . . ”

Still facts, but a few more facts. At this point the internet as a public thing is just past its infancy, and in theory you could go look up some stuff on, like, AOL, maybe, about what was happening.

(Nina, you were talking about antis . . . ?)

(Yes, I was. Bear with me.)

But at this point you also saw the rise of Fox News and CNN.

Now up to this point, I could trust the news. That is important to know. “Nina, American news is full of propaganda--” Listen, you’re not wrong, but the point is, if Scott Brennan told me Notre Dame cathedral was on fire and priests were trying to remove the holy relics, I could safely assume Notre Dame cathedral was on fire and priests were trying to remove the holy relics. If Channel 24 told me “the blizzard of the century” had occurred the night before, I could look out the window of my snowed-in house and go “yeah, that seems legit.”

I grew up, in other words, in a world in which facts were facts. We didn’t waffle or wring our hands over whether or not Notre Dame was on fire. And this allowed me to take a similar approach to fiction: it is a fact that murder is wrong, and knowing this, I can read a book in which someone commits murder for very good reasons, but still know they did something wrong.

But now you have 24 hours of news to fill.

No matter how you pad it, no matter how many voice clips you play or retrospectives you do, you cannot find enough news in the world to fill 24 hours, seven days a week, 365 days a year. You just can’t.

So they started adding “opinion pieces.”

Notre Dame is on fire--is it worth saving? Notre Dame is on fire--but is it as big a catastrophe as it’s made out to be? Notre Dame is on fire--but France has been steadily calling themselves a secular nation, so is this the punishment of G-d? Notre Dame is on fire--

--wait, what was that?

Yep. You saw it, I saw it, we all saw it. But as the “opinion pieces” slowly took over the regular news and stopped being called “opinion pieces” and started being called “programs,” it became less and less clear what was and wasn’t fact.

Now obviously Notre Dame is on fire. But now we have to ask ourselves: is it worth it to save it or not? Is the financial cost outweighed by the history? Will those answers change depending on how bad the damage becomes? And you, lonely elderly person in your chair whose predominant socialization these days is at church, how does this make you feel about French people? These are questions that once would have been asked of the church caretakers and the French government. Now every single person is being asked to think about them, without being provided all of the context that is available to the church caretakers and the French government. And along the way, you get these nice, nasty little bits of prejudice and slanted thinking and bias sneaked in.

I told you I’d come back to antis. And here we are.

The vast majority of antis are very young. They grew up in a world where those “programs” were the norm. They were not provided with a cultural basis of “these are the facts.” They were provided a basis of “here is what I think about the facts.” They were provided a basis of, as Mr. Banks said in Mary Poppins, “kindly do not cloud the matter with facts.”

There are no facts! Who fucking cares! An anti who’s 15 years old today was eleven years old when we were introduced to “alternative facts”! Is it wrong for a 27-year-old man to pursue a relationship with a 13-year-old girl? Depends on which news channel, and which presenter, you ask!

They literally grew up in a world in which critical thinking was discouraged. Once upon a time, you would have seen on TV that Notre Dame was on fire, and at dinner--or whatever your family did for together time--you might say things like “going to be expensive to fix that, I wonder what they’ll do,” but you wouldn’t have been hit with six presenters telling you exactly why Notre Dame should/shouldn’t be rebuilt. And don’t forget--even if you, personally, do not watch the news (or read it on the internet, which is just as bad, because everybody’s after those elusive advertising clicks, everybody needs the “scoop” two seconds before it happens), you know people who do. You hear their opinions and their hot takes and their retellings all around you. And those  opinions and hot takes and retellings will be colored by which “program” that person saw first.

Watch the first thirty seconds of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dn2RjahTi3M

Walter Cronkite, a legendary news anchor, giving his opinion on Vietnam. You will notice that he states, very clearly: “it seems very clear to this reporter.” This is Cronkite’s opinion, nothing more, and he makes it clear that he is speaking only for himself.

Now skip to approximately 1:05, and watch him report the Kennedy assassination. You can see he’s emotional, but also keeping it under wraps as best he can because he has An Important Job To Do, and that job is twofold: to deliver the news accurately and concisely, and to keep the American public calm (you can see this when he hurriedly says Johnson is probably taking the oath to become President; a missing VP would be a crisis at this moment). This is a man who’s just found out the most beloved president in modern times is dead. And not just dead--murdered. It’s not like Kennedy had a heart attack, his damn head was blown off. This news is still coming in so quickly that you can see him glancing off the screen to get fresh reports. He’s one of the first to receive this absolute blow--and he’s still holding it together, barely wavering. (When I was a kid, this role would go to Dan Rather. He was no Cronkite, but he tried.)

Where is that kind of rock for today’s teens? Imagine--heaven forbid, in the state our country’s in right now--that tomorrow we get the news Biden was shot.

How would we get that message?

Would it be delivered by an even-keeled, just-the-facts reporter like Cronkite? Or would we get it from a bunch of half-hysterical articles and crisismongering “programs”? And would it be delivered to us straight, like Cronkite did, or would it be buried in three days’ worth of opinions on his “legacy” and policies and What This Means For America?

Now: how are you supposed to build any kind of strong convictions and moral compass on a world like that? Where anything can be true if enough people have an “opinion” on it? Where the facts get immediately buried in a wave of bullshit?

Antis are reacting to a world of “opinions” and “programs” being thrown at them 24/7 by trying to create a world they can control, where there are in fact things that are true, in a world that has actively refused them the opportunity to learn how to parse and process facts. And so what they’ve come up with is this grossly distorted version of facts, because gross distortions of facts are all they know. It’s all they’ve ever seen. They’re perpetuating a system they don’t even realize they’re part of, because they never experienced life before it existed.

They’re not lying when they say they were heavily influenced by fiction because the bounds between fact and fiction have been actively erased. On purpose. And it’s difficult to grok that, if you grew up in a world where you didn’t have to go seek out photographic evidence to be absolutely certain that Notre Dame was, indeed, on fire.

So what we need to be doing, first and foremost, is rebuilding that wall of facts, that line of truth. Otherwise, what we’re going to see is more of this, but getting worse daily.

We set them up for this, and now we’re paying the price for it.

[haikyuu-boys-headcanons]

𝙷𝙰𝙸𝙺𝚈𝚄𝚄 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 - 𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝚇 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚂

hehe, i’m back at it again with one of these long ass posts but this idea’s literally been in my head all day long so here you go !! obvious nsfw warning :)

tw: this whole post is just nsfw and embarrassing to read so read at your own risk >:)

𝙳𝙰𝙸𝙲𝙷𝙸 » during a super intense and loud session, his voice cracked as he asked you “does that feel goOD- good baby?” to this day, he still prays that you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own moans

𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙰 » you were riding him and he went to slap your ass, but something went wrong either because you were riding too quickly or he was shaking too much, boy ended up slapping himself in the balls. you’ve never heard that boy scream that loud in your life

𝙰𝚂𝙰𝙷𝙸 » literally pulled out in the middle of sex to get up and rush to the corner of his room to flip around his childhood teddy bears. your just laying there with your tiddies and coochie out waiting for asahi to shield the eyes of mr. wiggles

𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙰 » you two were having pretty intense shower sex until tanaka did the number one thing your not supposed to do during shower sex; this muthafucker slipped while holding you. long story short, y’all were okay but just ended up having nasty shower floor sex??

𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙰 » this tiny ass 5′2 man was unconsciously humping your leg while you were both asleep?? his presumably pleasurable wet dream had turned into a sudden nightmare when you literally had to KICK him off you to stop the humping. bad nishinoya, bad!

𝙺𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰 » came WAYYY too early inside you, but he was too embarrassed to say anything so he just... kept going. sadly, no one had warned kageyama of the intense effects of overstimulation. he was shaking and whimpering so badly behind you to the point where you had to ask him to pull out and bring him a glass of water to calm down

𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 » the first time you squirted on him, he just blatantly asked you these exact few words that left you feeling mortified: “did you just piss on me?” nuh uh hinata, this water fountain ain’t yours to drown in anymore >:( 

𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » kei was hitting it from the back pretty hard this time, so hard that you were suddenly... on an angle? suddenly, now you two were much closer to the floor than before. the bed ended up collapsing, yes literally collapsing due to kei’s powerful thrusts. worst part is, nobody got to finish since kei dragged you to ikea to grumpily buy a new bedframe. but hey, he bought you ikea meatballs; that shit hits so different

𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸 » one super duper intense night, he passed out the SECOND he came. no matter how much you flicked the temple of his forehead, yamaguchi was dead asleep. you had to literally slap him awake to get him to clean up, you ain’t risking a ranky stanky UTI puthy in the morning

𝙾𝙸𝙺𝙰𝚆𝙰 » kept calling himself a sex machine during the act. i don’t know if it was due to the 6 tequila shots he had beforehand or just his inner ego revealing, whatever it was it was about to make your pussy close

𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙸 » this one time, he kept going in at a weird angle which caused you to repeatedly queef for 7 minutes straight. every time you told him to pull out and go in properly, he laughed and kept going in at that one weird angle!! was your embarrassment a turn on for him?? maybe!! but were you mortified? absolutely!!

𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙽 » i’m sorry to have to be the one to announce this, but this man had the worst case of full blown bush you’ve ever seen. like, he didn’t even try to manscape or anything at all. you ended up begging him to trim just a tiny bit because you weren’t gonna risk choking on a pube whilst your going down on him

𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 » rubbed your left labia thinking it was your clit. and he kept doing that. the whole. fucking. time. even when you subtly moved his fingers towards your clit, he just kept going back to the left lip.

𝙺𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙸 » had the most dry and dull dirty talk you’ve ever heard. like, it’s not even dirty talk at this point; it’s just clean talk. there’s no passion when he talks! he uses the same tone he would use for anyone else at any other moment. to paint the picture, imagine riding kunimi and he’s just there with a furrowed expression like “yup, that feels really good”

𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸 » tried to pull one of those unexpected anal scenes that he saw from a porno, without telling you beforehand. life lesson here; if you party at shit's house, don't be surprised if shit's at the party

𝙺𝚄𝚁𝙾𝙾 » you two were looking to get a little more kinky in terms of BDSM, so kuroo watched like 30 tutorials on youtube on how to safely tie you up so you won’t fall or anything. this bitch ended up tying rope knots that were practically impossible to undo, which resulted in you hanging from the ceiling for approximately 2 hours pussy-ass naked while kuroo tried to cut you down with a kitchen knife

𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙼𝙰 » wanted to spice things up with some dirty talk, like the real nasty talk they use in pornos but not the normal pornos; the shitty company ones with horrific acting. he really ended up announcing that he was going to “fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat”

𝙻𝙴𝚅 » got super excited while he was opening the lube since he hadn’t gotten to fuck you in a WHILE, which resulted the lube leaked everywhere and a giant 6′5 man slipping and hitting his head on the bed frame. worst part is; he had to go to the ER with a hard on that refused to go away

𝙱𝙾𝙺𝚄𝚃𝙾 » speaking of boners that wouldn’t go away, let’s not forget that one time bokuto took two viagras when you texted him to come over for a special occasion. he horribly misinterpreted the ‘special occasion’ text, because he showed up to your house with a huge buldge in his pants as your parents stand before him holding anniversary cards, completely horrified

𝙰𝙺𝙰𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸 » wanted to make valentines day sex as romantic as he could, so he did the classic lighting candles and giving roses. everything was beautiful, until he accidently knocked one of the bigger candles over during missionary. this not only caused a huge ass fire in your bedroom, but he came right as the fire began to spread. boy was debating on whether his orgasm was to die for or not

𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙾𝙷𝙰 » had a nose bleed when he was going down on you and you both were immediately horrified, you thinking it was your period and him thinking he just ate coochie blood. yet as you went to go clean up, you realized his face had much more blood on it than your coochie did. to this day, he still blames it on your period 

𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙰 » threw you onto the bed and your head went through the wall. he didn’t even bother to ask you if you were okay, he just sighed and went “well, now i have to make a call to the construction guy. excuse me” and he left you and your concussed ass head sit there once again, pussy ass naked

𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚄 » during a blowjob, he held your head down right as he was coming causing the cum to shoot up your throat and somehow pour out of your nose. by the time he pulled out, he could barely breath from laughing at you. sure, the classic ‘milk shooting out of nose’ thing was funny at first until you got a sinus infection and had to breath out of your mouth for the next three days

𝚂𝙴𝙼𝙸 » always insists having sex in the most inconvenient places?? like he would pull you to side while grocery shopping and start grinding up against you as you pick which brand of cheese would be better??

𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙺𝙸 » he kept getting frustrated that his bangs were clouding his field of vision, so he irritably grabbed a hair tie and frantically tied up the sides of his bangs while he was fucking you. you immediately burst out laughing since he looked exactly like boo from monsters inc. 

𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » got so drunk that he ended up fucking the couch. like he was just there on top of you, and his dick was just sliding between the folds of the leather couch. you decided to let him finish like that

𝚂𝙰𝙺𝚄𝚂𝙰 » had a really bad reaction to one of the products he used while shaving and ended up getting super irritated down there so he kept having to pull out in-between thrusts to itch his crotch. to make things worse, you joking suggested that he looked like he had syphilis and he got so disgusted at the idea of that thought that he literally had to pull out and take a breather 

𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 » drizzled ‘warm’ chocolate down your chest and was about to seductively lick it off until you screamed in pain and horror as the chocolate was literally burning your skin off. osamu panicked, obviously not knowing what to do if chocolate was burning his partners skin off so he just... frantically licked it off. you still had to go to the ER afterwards to get treated for mild burns

𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚄𝙼𝚄 » didn’t know what a hymen was until the first time he tried to have sex with you. no matter how much he tried to shove his schlong in, it really just wasn’t working + “yer puss is broken”

𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙰 » pinched your nipples so fucking hard to the point where you started crying. he thoughts these were tears of pleasure until you literally had to kick him off you. but hey, he gave you ice for your sore nipples and mcdonalds! what more could a girl possibly want :)

uh the end lol

also, this idea was inspired by the first haikyuu headcanon i ever read, “awkward sex moments” by @bbytetsu <3

#haikyuu hcs #haikyuu #tsukishima x reader #oikawa x reader #sugawara x reader #atsumu x rea #suna x reader #tendou x reader #ushijima x reader #haikyuu smut #kuroo x reader #kenma x reader #semi x reader #yamaguchi x reader #daichi x reader #iwazumi x reader #terushima x reader #sakusa x reader #kageyama x reader #sakusa smut #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #mattsun x reader #nishinoya x reader

[nachoscheesy]

Tumblr Revival

Tl;dr

Tumblr has a large interconnected community of artists and content creators, and should focus on its strengths and what it does right. Instead of trying to compete for space against Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Tumblr should focus on empowering its community and giving that community the tools to develop the site's unparalleled uniqueness.

Tumblr is the crossroads of the internet, with a monthly user traffic of 300 million it is the perfect space for artists, content creators, and small businesses to grow their following without having to fight for a seat at the table against companies with huge budgets.

Hi, I go by Nacho here on tumblr, and I'm sure as many of us on tumblr have noticed, the (hell)site is kinda going downhill. Tumblr was bought by Automattic in fall of 2019, and I am sure they have the best intentions to help tumblr stay afloat. However, I think it's time the community took a more deliberate approach to how tumblr is handled, and hopefully Automattic and @staff will hear us out. I think I have a solid solution to tumblrs money issues, that will help both the site and empower its online communities.

First and foremost, I am not involved with Tumblr or Automattic. I am just a simple blog trying to help out a place that I've been on since 2010, and I would hate to see it die here around 2023.

So, let's get to the root of the problem on tumblr right now. That being money, tumblr is currently costing more money that it produces, as we've seen with its 97% drop in value from 1.1 billion dollar sale to being sold at around 3 million dollars.

So the first thing that must be improved before anything else can be improved on tumblr is how much money they're bringing in a month. I don't think folks on tumblr hate monetization as much as we all collectively say we do, I think the issue is that most advertisers are completely disconnected from the groups they are trying to advertise to on here. Tumblr comprises roughly 65% millennials and 30% gen-z, the two generations that advertisers seem to have the hardest time advertising to for a myriad of reasons. The main one being that they don't fully understand what we want, and sometimes just don't listen to what we are saying.

Lets look at how tumblr makes its money, Tumblr has four main revenue sources,

Ads by sponsored posts

Display ads through video posts

Sponsored Day ads or banner ads

“Premium Themes”

I'll go into depth on all of these and how tumblr could make potential changes to improve their revenue anywhere from three to six months after it implements some or ideally all of these changes.

First tumblr ads and sponsored posts, these changes are going to be contingent on tumblr allowing its users to share, like, and comment on ads much like all other media sites currently allow. Or at least giving advertisers the ability to turn that on or off as a function.

The average tumblr post gets reblogged 14 times, that number increases significantly if the ad is engaging and actually caters to the communities wants and needs. My reasoning for giving users the ability to reblog ads is to increase user engagement while maintaining their current ad vetting process and all of the nonsensical ads that are run on tumblr 90% of the time.

The other reason for allowing tumblr users to share and comment on ads, or have it be an option for advertisers to turn on or off as they'd like, is that the appeal of tumblr is the ability to propagate and obsess over the most niche things (i.e OSHA.)

All the while allowing content that gets shared all over the internet bubble up to the top through the collective hand of the tumblr community. Along with this tumblr has no way for small users to share their own products or services, every single major site has a way for users to advertise their pages or products through the site.

Tumblr is a content machine that creates imagery and memes that get shared all the time across the internet, so the ability to share and curate its own ads is paramount to improving advertising and user engagement on tumblr.

My proposal here is for tumblr to expand its advertising capabilities to all users, while charging a flat rate fee to advertise on tumblr, with additional charges for popular tags or trending tags. Tumblr currently has no self service advertising system much like Facebook does for example. Where facebook charges a daily rate on cost-per-click(CPC) or cost-per-thousand(CPM)

Charging a flat rate fee at a rate of a day, week, month, or quarterly basis with variances in prices based on the lease term and what the advertisers would want to have their ads show up on certain tags. This would open up the doors for small businesses that don't want to advertise on places like facebook, twitter, or google with their complicated CPM and CPC models. Also bringing in more small locally owned businesses with the added value of less competition for ad space on tumblr.

This would also take some of the weight from tumblrs own advertising staff from having to explain a convoluted system to potential advertisers. Creating a simplified model with the the advent of tumblrs own infrastructure able to get a single post to a large variety of users. Where the current ad model uses a “shotgun” method to hit as many people as possible, the tumblr model could encourage advertisers to curate a more personalized and intimate experience that tumblr users would love.

Why not just advertise elsewhere? Tumblr still in fact gets over 300 million views a month as of June 2021 (Statosta), and the added benefit for users to be able to like, share, and interact with ads would allow ads that the community enjoys to be talked about more. Giving advertisers more honest feedback about their ads while increasing their SEO’s.

Also small businesses that can't compete with the vetting processes that are used on other sites, would have a better chance of developing their business and increasing their clientele on tumblr whose core demographics are approximately 60% millennial and 35% gen-z. This core demographic does in fact care about being able to shop at local stores, or even a store across the US that is trying to drum up its own online sales.

These ads could be placed inline on the tumblr dash while moving other sponsored ads to the right of the site on desktop, but making them alternate on mobile between user ads and sponsored ads.

Second, the display ads should be changed to allow tumblr users to share and further interact with ads to generate more user engagement, incentivizing more businesses and companies to build their brand status on tumblr. Tumblr has a good model for creating short diaries or daily vlogs for companies that wish to show off their products on social media. This includes smaller businesses and vlogers that want to post videos or tutorials of themselves on their blog.

Tumblr is a good site for user engagement with a pool of creative potential for anyone wanting to gauge the desire for a particular subject or piece of media, maybe even an upcoming show. Having the ability to share and comment on sponsored ads would also help advertisers by allowing them to get more bang for their buck with a considerable uptick on how users engage with that content.

Third, tumblrs sponsor day ads and banner ads are inexpensive and should be highlighted as a selling point over their competitors. Tumblr 24-hour banner ads are considerably more affordable for businesses when compared to places like twitter with their 200k price point. For the same amount of money on tumblr a business could have their company at the top of the dashboard or app for 8 whole days. Much longer and much better than the competition.

Keeping this price fixed, with a change in the price CPC is still a much more lucrative and attractive selling point than any of the competition on the internet today. I know this might not be exactly what tumblr wants to hear when it is hemorrhaging money right now, but let's look at the cost for these 24 hour daily ads and banner ads. If tumblr hypes up the price point on these ads they could see a significant rise in advertisers considering the lack of competition on tumblr and past success stories of companies who did advertise on tumblr.

At the same time larger advertisers should be encouraged to make engaging ads and blogs on tumblr that will make people want to actually go to their blogs, that then link to an external site or page. Not ads that instantly try to force you to go to some other site, by rewarding or offering special discounts for people who find a special code or something off of the actual blog. Or even for giving the same code to everyone who reblogs a certain post made by the advertiser.

Seems too good to be true? Look at “Asos” back in 2015 when they held a shirt design competition on their tumblr blog. Where they had 900 submissions, four of which were picked, and were sold out of the user generated shirts in 10 hours.

This is not the only case however, but FX ran their own campaign for the show “Man Seeking Woman” where they saw a 2.8% increase in user engagement, 86% increase in their tumblr followers, and they actually saved money through advertising on tumblr.

All this leads me to believe that tumblr actually was and continues to be the best place for brands, small businesses, and artists to develop themselves through genuine user engagement.

Finally, the “premium themes” that are available on tumblr that allow for unparalleled customizations that you hardly find elsewhere on the internet anymore. Tumblrs ability to take a variety of media sources, as well as having an unparalleled level of customization, user interconnectivity, and a vibrant artistic scene shows that it is ripe with potential.

Tumblr could still use its post+ feature, but in the same way that Discord uses its subscription service. For cosmetic changes that can be added modularly to the site or individual blogs for an additional monthly fee. In conjunction with partnering with community artists to bring small cosmetic additions to individual blogs, while paying the content creator and tumblr taking a small portion of the profits over a certain amount.

To be completely honest this is probably the hardest portion of this entire pitch to make changes to in a shorter period of time, considering all the testing and “under the hood” changes that must be made. However, I think that implementing this as well as the other changes I have proposed will bring back more foot traffic to tumblr as well as increase its revenue and profitability.

In closing, I am simply working with whatever information I was able to find online and a good amount of time invested on my part to do this. I think tumblr has a ton of potential still to return as a force for good for the communities that exist and want a change from what the internet has become. Time and time again when any company or public entity dies it was because it did not change and refused to adapt and innovate, oftentimes not at the hands of the people working everyday to keep the site running. Instead at the hands of people who dont see the value in what has fallen in their laps.

If you agree and think this is something that can be done, please reblog this post and follow me for more updates. If I don't hear back or this does not gain any traction by the end of the year, then tumblr can go to its inevitable end. I will be here sinking with the ship.

@support @engineering @music @wip @changes @photomatt

#tumblr plus #tumblr post plus #tumblr staff #advertising #marketing strategy #changes #tumblr premium #post plus protest #community #automattic

[fudes240]

A short story by Dylan Klebold.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Klebold wrote this story for school in late February or early March 1999, shortly before the attack at Columbine High School on 20 April 1999. For a facsimile of the original, along with his teacher’s comments and other related material, see the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office Columbine Documents, pages 10,463 to 10,468 (available at schoolshooters.info). Note: the killer in the story is described as left-handed, wearing a black trench coat, and 6’4”. Klebold was lefthanded, wore a black trench coat, and was approximately 6’4”.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The town, even at 1:00 AM, was still bustling with activity as the man dressed in black walked down the empty streets.... What was most recognized about the man was the sound of his footsteps.

Behind the conversations & noises of the town, not a sound was to be heard from him, except the dark, monotonous footsteps, combined with the jingling of his belt chains striking not only the two visible guns in their holsters, but the large bowie knife, slung in anticipation of use. The wide-brimmed hat cast a pitch-black shadow of his already dimly lit face. He wore black gloves, with a type of metal spiked-band across the knuckles. A black overcoat covered most of his body, small lines of metal & half-inch spikes layering upper portions of the shoulders, arms, and back. His boots were newly polished, and didn’t look like they had been used much. He carried a black duffel bag in his right hand. He apparently had parked a car nearby & looked ready for a small war with whoever came across his way.

I have never seen anyone take this mad-max approach in the city, especially since the piggies had been called to this part of town for a series of crimes lately. Yet, in the midst of the nightlife in the center of the average-sized town, this man walked, fueled by some untold purpose, what Christians would call evil. The guns slung on his belt & belly appeared to be automatic hand guns, which were draped above rows of magazines & clips. He smoked a thin cigar, and a sweet clovesque scent eminated from his aura. He stood about six feet and four inches and was strongly built. His face was entirely in shadow, yet even though I was unable to see his expressions, I could feel his anger, cutting thru the air like a razor. He seemed to know where he was walking, and he noticed my presence, but paid no attention as he kept walking toward a popular bar.

The Watering Hole. He stopped about 30 feet from the door, and waited. “For whom?” I wondered, as I saw them step out. He must have known their habits well, as they appeared less than a minute after he stopped walking. A group of college-preps, about nine of them, stopped in their tracks. A couple of them were mildly drunk, the rest sober. They stopped and stared. The streetlights illuminating the bar & the sidewalk showed me a clear view of their stare, full of paralysis & fear. They knew who he was & why he was there.

The second largest spoke up “What’re you doin man ... why are you here ... ?” The man in black said nothing, but even at my distance, I could feel his anger growing. “You still wanted a fight huh? I meant not with weapons, I just meant a fist fight ... cmon put the guns away, fuckin pussy!! said the largest prep, his voice quavering as he spoke these words of attempted courage. Other preps could be heard muttering in the background; “Nice trench coat dude, that’s pretty cool there . . .” . . . . “Dude we were jus messin around the other day chill out man . . .” . . . “I didn’t do anything, it was all them!!” . . . “cmon man you wouldn’t shoot us, were in the middle of a public place ...” Yet the comment I the remember most was uttered from the smallest of the group, obviously a cocky, power hungry prick. “Go ahead man! Shoot me!!! I want you to shoot me!! Heheh you won’t!! Goddam pussy ...” It was faint at first, but grew in intensity and power as I heard the man laugh. This laugh would have made Satan cringe in Hell. For almost half a minute this laugh, spawned from the most powerful place conceivable, filled the air, and thru the entire town, the entire world. The town activity came to a stop, and all attention was now drawn to this man.

One of the preps began to slowly move back. Before I could see a reaction from the preps, the man had dropped his duffel bag, and pulled out one of the pistols with his left hand. Three shots were fired. Three shots hit the largest prep in the head. The shining of the streetlights caused a visible reflection off of the droplets of blood as they flew away from the skull. The blood spatters showered the preps buddies, as they were too paralyzed to run. The next four preps were not executed so systematically, but with more rage from the man’s hand cannon than a controlled duty for a soldier. The man unloaded one of the pistols across the fronts of these four innocents, their instantly lifeless bodies dropping with remarkable speed. The shots from that gun were felt just as much as they were heard.

He pulled out his other pistol, and without changing a glance, without moving his deathstare from the four other victims to go, aimed the weapon out to the side, and shot about 8 rounds. These bullets mowed down what, after he was dead, I made out to be an undercover cop with his gun slung. He then emptied the clip into two more of the preps. Then, instead of reloading & finishing the task, he set down the guns, and pulled out the knife. The blade loomed huge, even in his large grip. I now noticed that one of the two still alive was the smallest of the band, who had now wet his pants, and was hyperventilating in fear. The other one tried to lunge at the man, hoping that his football tackling skills would save his life. The man sidestepped, and made two lunging slashes at him. I saw a small trickle of blood cascade out of his belly and splashing onto the concrete. His head wound was almost as bad, as the shadow formed by the bar’s lighting showed blood dripping off his face.

The last one, the smallest one, tried to run. The man quickly reloaded, and shot him thru the lower leg. He instant fell, and cried in pain. The man then pulled out of the duffel bag what looked to be some type of electronic device. I saw him tweak the dials, and press a button. I heard a faint, yet powerful explosion. I would have to guess about 6 miles away. Then another one occurred closer. After recalling the night many times, I finally understood that these were diversions, to attract the cops. The last prep was bawling & trying to crawl away. The man walked up behind him. I remember the sound of the impact well. The man came down with his left hand, right on the prep’s head. The metal piece did its work, as I saw his hand get buried about 2 inches into the guy’s skull. The man pulled his arm out, and stood, unmoving, for about a minute.

The town was utterly still, except for the faint wail of police sirens. The man picked up the bag and his clips, and proceeded to walk back the way he came. I was still, as he came my way again. He stopped, and gave me a look I will never forget. If I could face an emotion of god, it would have looked like the man. I not only saw in his face, but also felt eminating from him power, complacence, closure, and godliness. The man smiled, and in that instant, thru no endeavor of my own, I understood his actions.

#reb vodka reb reb vodka columbine columbiners eric harris dylan klebold school shooting school massacre #columbine #school shooting

[thatweeboverthereisthirsty]

OK so I got this idea. S/o (who's this time has to be female) is also an octo mermaid but still from another world. So s/o gets into one of the pools and they discover she's a blanket octopus (if you haven't seen a female blanket octopus they're one of the most beautiful octopus out there with their gradient colors) and they get popular af like everyone is like "wow she's such a beautiful meroctopus" Yada yada. And Azul it's mad. Part 1

Part 2. And both Jade and Floyd notice it and decide to tell s/o who is shocked and sad because they have a HUGE crush so they decided to give him a gift. Since they know he doesn't have a octopus pot they decide to make him one. After months they give it to him and confess and he's shocked and ask for their forgiveness as it isn't their fault. At the end he and s/o cuddle inside of the octo pot in their mer forms.

OMG THIS TOOK ME FOREVER!!!! I probably got this ask before thanksgiving so I am very sorry that it took me this long, HOWEVER, it is the longest oneshot I have ever written so that’s quite an accomplishment. There are photo references that go with this story as well so check those out before you read. 

Warnings: Slight language, insecurities, fluff, very very minor angst, fem!s/o

Word count: 4,710

Azul x Reader: Cuddle Pot

The above images are references for the s/o’s octopus species and the octopus pot. I don’t know who the original artist is for the second so if you know please let me know so I can give credit where due.

   “Wait seriously? You’re a mermaid!” Ace practically shrieks and you giggle. Placing a finger to your lips, you shush him as Deuce slaps the back of your over energetic friend’s head. 

   “Yes. I am a mermaid, but you can’t tell anyone yet.”

   “Why not?” Jack questions. His tail flicks in confusion.

   You sigh and think back to the last time anyone found out about your true form. Most of the people back in your world found merpeople to be odd and cursed. It was considered a disability and a disease. Human society often shunned what they didn’t understand. And that lack of understanding led to fear. 

   A boy in your old school had been your middle school sweetheart for approximately 7 months before you decided to tell him your secret. He had seemed so eager to finally go swimming with you that you had naively believed that it was all going to be fine. However when he stared at your flowey, shimmering form you felt yourself grow worried that he would no longer like you. 

   “Babe,” you started, leaning closer to try and grasp his face with your smooth, webbed fingers. “It’s alright. It’s just my merform. It’s going to-” He quickly slapped your hand away and stumbled back. 

   “F-freak, monster, disgusting. Stay away from me you animal! We’re over you deceiving B*tch!” He quickly ran away from the side of the lake where you had brought him. As dawns lovely lights sprayed your body with pinks, and soft oranges, tears slid down your cheeks and into the water below. He hated you. Oh what a fool you had been to think that he would be different, that he would love you anyway. 

   School had become increasingly difficult after that. Word spread fast and you were quickly isolated by everyone you had called a friend. Eventually you moved to a new place and decided that you would never love again.

   This wasn’t the case however in Twisted Wonderland. You were so pleasantly surprised to find people like you, and they weren’t considered freaks because of it. It had been a shock and you quickly found yourself yearning to tell others about what you truly were. Fear had you back though. At least up until that point.

   “I had a bad experience with someone I cared about back in my home world.” You stated softly. The boys looked at each other and smiled. 

   “Well this isn’t that world. You're good to go here since I can’t imagine anyone judging you for what you look like in this place.” Ace’s words reassured you.

   “He’s right. At NRC it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be bullied because of something like this. But what are you anyway?” Deuce questioned. 

   You giggled and leaned in closer to the 4 people sitting at the lunch table, (5 if you included Grimm, but he already knew). “I’m an octopus.” You said with excitement and slight nervousness.

   “Really? That sounds so cool!” Epel was quiet but excited when he spoke up for the first time since the conversation started. You smiled to yourself and mentally sighed in relief that the people you had next trusted with your secret didn’t view you any differently. 

   “Wait hold the phone. Octopus? Like Azul?” Ace pressed close enough that you could reach across with a napkin and wipe the side of his cheek that had been smeared with BBQ sauce when he scarfed his lunch.

  “Yes and no, Azul is a Common Octopus, which means that he is the standard octopus you mostly see around the ocean or in pictures. Basically what you imagine when someone says Octopus. I’m a different type of octopus, one that is more rare.” You pulled out your phone while talking to bring up an image. You held the phone so everyone at the table could see.

   “This is a female Blanket Octopus. We’re pretty rare but we are also one of the most beautiful kinds.” 

   Everyone went wide eyed and watched the screen as you scrolled through images of your fellow eight legged friends. Epel turned to you and grabbed your shoulder. 

   “You absolutely have to show us your merform.” Ace, Deuce, and Jack all nodded in agreement. You flushed and fiddled with the hem of your shirt. 

   “I don’t know guys. It would be a hassle to find a place where we could do it and I’m not sure I want anyone else seeing me. What if someone shows up and freaks out?” This time it was Jack’s turn to speak when he leaned back before smiling slightly.

   “Not that I care but I personally would show up to support you if you needed it. Besides, the school pool is closed after dark. However I’m pretty sure Ruggie has snatched a copy of every key to every lock in the building.”

   “Of course he has.” Deuce says rolling his eyes. “That hyena couldn’t keep his paws to himself even if his life depended on it.” You giggled but ignored the comment in favor of asking Jack if he could get the key. The wolf nodded and you told everyone to meet you by the pool at 9:30. Your friends nodded in agreement just as the bell rang.

----------

   The air was humid and warm, it was perfect for a late night swim, although your clothes would likely stick to your body when you changed back. Still you shifted uncomfortably at the idea of getting in the water with what you are wearing. A pair of leggings was slipped on underneath a waterproof skirt. You had a jacket over your bikini top but per usual you were unable to wear bottoms unless you wanted them to tear. You would have to be very careful not to let the skirt go up before you shifted.

   A sigh left your lips and Grimm, sensing your nervousness, rubbed up against your leg in silent comfort. Your friends were unlikely to freak out but it was still nerve wracking to think about exposing your true form to other non-merpeople. Hundreds of scenarios where something went wrong filtered through your head and promised that your anxiety wouldn’t leave anytime soon. 

  “BOO!” Half a shriek pierced the night before a hand clasped over your mouth.  

   “Shishishishishi.” You turned around in surprise and pulled the fingers away from your face.

   “Ruggie! What are you doing here?” You whisper shouted. The hyena snickered again and held up one finger. He made a circular motion and a key ring twirled around in response. 

   “Jack said you needed to get in here. Thought I’d tag along.” The smirk on his face irritated you but you couldn’t be surprised. You should have known that having Jack of all people ask for keys to break into the pool after hours was going to raise some eyebrows. Honestly you should have just asked him to invite Ruggie along anyways. Key or no key the hyena was likely to want to know what was going on. 

   “Alright fine, but if you tell anyone what you saw here today, and I mean anyone, then I will hide your piggy bank from you.” Ruggie’s eyes went wide before they narrowed.

   “You have my word.” You smiled knowing that you had convinced him to keep your secret despite the fact that if he really had told someone you wouldn’t have actually done more than try and punch him. Of all people you knew how precious money was in this world, considering the fact that you had none.

   Footsteps alerted you to the approaching presence of your other friends. You turn

around and find Jack, Epel, Ace and Deuce walking over to you. They wave and Jack frowns when he spots Ruggie.

   “What are you doing here? I thought you already gave me the key.” The hyena snickers and points towards the key Jack was holding. 

   “I gave you the one to the janitors closet, which I’m gonna need back by the way. I wanted to see what was going on for myself so I hung out here till Y/n came over, and then I figured it had to be interesting if she was involved. I didn’t know there was gonna be a crowd though.” He looked at you, “This must be one hell of a surprise if you got all the first years here.”

   Deuce pointed out that Sebek was a first year as well but the hyena shrugged it off saying “he doesn’t count as a student since he’s basically just a guard.” You figured that was Leona’s opinion and Ruggie agreed.

   “Guys it’s already late and I don’t wanna get caught so let's go in already.” Everyone nodded and Ruggie opened the gate. 

   Carefully you unzipped your jacket as you walked over to the bench. The water appeared calm and undisturbed, allowing a clear view of the illuminated bottom which was surprisingly clean considering teenage boys flung about in the water all day.

   You sighed and shrugged the jacket off before stepping out of your shoes. Setting down the bag with your extra clothes you mentally prepared yourself for what was about to happen. 

   Ruggie leaned closer to Jack and whispered something you didn’t catch but Jack’s response of “You’ll see.” was enough to tell you what had happened. Pushing your anxiety out of the way you lowered yourself into the pool, sighing as the cool water licked your skin. Giving yourself a moment to relax you let your worries leak into the water around you. You had always felt better in the water. It’s a merfolk thing.

   “Are you guys positive you won’t freak out?” You called to the edge of the pool where your friends were standing. 

   “Not unless you grow 10 heads.” Ace sniggered until Epel elbowed him. You rolled your eyes and looked suspiciously over to Ruggie who still had no idea what was going on. 

   “No promises.” You sighed, but smiled when Jack nodded at you, signaling that it would be alright. Who were you kidding Ruggie was a hyena man who grew up in the slums. What did he care? Feelings of worry taken care of, you sunk deeper into the water and closed your eyes.

   The feeling that comes with shifting is always a little strange. It’s almost like your skin has been turned to putty and it is remolding itself and when it reaches the desired outcome it snaps back into place and holds like it has been that way the whole time. 

   Once you felt the transformation had completed you righted yourself in the water and peeked an eye open to look at your friends. Ace and Epel had their mouths wide open in a gasp. One that quickly turned into a smile. Jack looked as though he had just witnessed a miracle and Deuce was still in shock. Ruggie’s reaction was by far the most extravagant. His eyes were wide and his mouth was curved into a questioning gape. He had taken several steps back and his ears lay flat on his head. Behind him his tail bristled and stood fairly straight, pushing up the too large shirt. 

   You bit your lip and examined their faces trying to come up with a conclusion to what they were feeling. 

   “That… Is so cool!” Ace blurted out excitedly and ran over to the pool's edge to get a closer look. Deuce and Epel followed him and Jack trotted over as well, but not before snorting at Ruggie. The hyena man looked your form up and down and took in the swirling shades of color that decorated your now sea creature bottom half. He made a small noise before shaking himself and casually patting down the fur on his tail, which was still tense but not as much. 

   “Ok, of all the things I’ve seen. That, I was not expecting.” You giggled at Ruggie’s flustered reaction and felt yourself relax now that you knew pitchforks and torches weren’t coming out. 

   The hyena moved closer to the pool and joined your other friends who were staring at you in awe. You blushed uncontrollably as you felt their gazes roam your colorful body. Decorative markings that spread up to your collarbone changed to a darker shade with your blush.

   “So like can I touch you?” Deuce smacks his hand against Ace’s chest and gives him this look that says “dude you can’t just say that''. You giggle and glide closer to them before lifting your arm which was for the most part pretty human, but had a lavender shade to it and a long silky strip of webbing that shimmered as it moved. The longest tentacle on your body rose out of the water as well and you shivered as the webbing stuck together in an uncomfortable manner. 

   Ace leaned forwards and stroked your arm and tentacle. His eyes were filled with curiosity and wonder. Deuce looked a little more unsure but Epel had no problem reaching out and gently caressing your webbing. Ruggie joined him and Deuce eventually stuck his hand out to stroke your arm, but Jack held back and decided that ultimately he only wanted to look.

   “Wow! This stuff is so soft!” Epel said excitedly. He was generally pretty quiet so you were glad he was comfortable enough to speak out. 

   “It’s so colorful. If we had silks this pretty in the savannah then we’d have lots of money. Say, where could I find more of your kind.” Ruggie’s smirk told you that he was just joking but you glared at him anyways and flicked water his way. 

   The hyena flinched and shook his head before laying his ears back and moving away from the water. Jack and Ace laughed at the antics before Ruggie growled playfully and distracted them from what had happened moments before. 

   It was then that Ace leaned a bit too far forwards and fell straight into the pool. You jumped and swung your tentacles back, instinctively spreading them out to make yourself look bigger. 

   You willed your body to relax as you recovered from the little panic attack and laughed when Ace’s head bobbed to the surface. He sputtered and swam over to the edge and climbed out of the pool. He lay on the concrete and breathed heavily while the boys around him cackled. Ace glared and stood up. 

   “You jerks I’ll show you how you like it.” Deuce shrieked as Ace shoved him into the water. You laughed with everyone else as Deuce came up for air. Sensing a sudden threat of being pushed into the water Ruggie backed up against the gate and watched as Jack pushed Epel in before diving in himself. The five of you giggled and splashed as Ruggie snickered at your antics. 

   You were so glad your new friends didn’t mind your merform. Even better, they really liked it. It felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders as you dived down to swim with your friends. As the five of you splashed and played with Ruggie distracted with your antics, none of you noticed a dark form smirk in the bushes. Nor the click of the camera that he had with him.

----------

   The next day was a nightmare. Apparently someone had spied on you and your friends and photographed you in your merform. People swarmed you asking you all sorts of questions. It was difficult to just get through the halls. Luckily none of the people who stopped and talked to you had anything unkind to say and the stares you received were more curious than malicious but it was still an uncomfortable situation to be in.

   For the most part people who knew you were pretty considerate about your space and privacy. Cater seemed absolutely thrilled to know that you were an octopus but only asked if you were alright with everything going on, instead of bombarding you with questions. 

   Kalim was a little more enthusiastic about the whole situation. Jamil ended up apologizing for him and pulling him away. Vil and Rook subtly commented on your merforms beauty before moving on. Diasomnia rarely came near you but Lilia gave you a sympathetic smile. Trey offered you a few baked sweets as he sensed that you were overwhelmed and as for everyone else you had yet to see them.

   The person you were most worried about seeing though was Azul. He was an octopus merman like you, yet you had never seen his merform. Unless you counted his overblot the only time you had seen him in full shift was in the picture you had borrowed from the museum. 

   He and the Leech twins will probably have an absolute field day over the fact that you’re also a mertype. You worried what Azul was going to think of you hiding it. Over the past few months you had developed a crush on him. You had a plan to confess and everything, but now that the secret was out you were worried that he wasn’t going to like you for keeping it from him. In truth you planned on telling him first, but figured there was no harm in letting your other friends know. Turns out there was and the whole school knew.

   Trapped in your thoughts, you failed to notice the two approaching twins and bumped into them as you turned around a corner.

   “Hiii~ Shrimpy-chan~!” Floyd’s ever changing mood seemed to pleasant as he greeted you with a smile and not a squeeze. 

   “Hello, Y/n. How are you today?” Jade's gentleman persona greeted you but failed to hide the questions and mischief in his eyes. 

   “Just say it already. I know you two already know.” You sighed and watched their faces light up with excitement. Floyd grabbed your arm and took off, dragging you behind him. “Wait!” Soon the three of you arrived at an empty classroom which you were promptly shoved in before the tweels followed, shutting the door behind them.

   “Y/n, my apologies for Floyd’s exuberant behavior, but we have been meaning to speak with you in private since the most recent exposure of your true nature.” Jade was calm and collected as always when he spoke and gently fixed your crumpled uniform which had been shifted while running. 

   “Shrimpy-chan! We have something to tell you!~” Floyd sing-songed before sitting on a desk.

   “What? Wait what is it? And where’s Azul? Wouldn’t he want to speak with me too? If this is about a deal the answer is no.” You folded your arms in front of you and put distance between yourself and the seemingly respectful brother. The twins looked at eachother and you caught a glimpse of something passing through their eyes before Floyd pouted.

   “Aww, what’s wrong with making deals with us? We promise to be real nice this time and not leave you homeless. You could stay with us at Octavinelle!” You rolled your eyes as Floyd giggled and swung his long legs despite the fact that they could easily reach the floor from his seat. 

   “The truth is, Azul is jealous.”

   “What!” You turned and exclaimed at Jade’s statement. The tall mage nodded and continued with a strange look on his face like he wasn’t bothered by this at all. 

   “You are far more beautiful than him in your merform and he is bothered by it. Everyone has always shunned him for his octopus body and now you present yourself as one and everyone goes wild with excitement over your gorgeousness. Something he believes to never have possessed.” 

   You were stunned. Azul was jealous of you. He was upset because you were more beautiful than him. No. You wanted him to love you, not be bothered by you. Why hadn’t you thought of Azul’s insecurities. He just wanted to be an attractive merman and here you were, the same mertype as him and you were advertising your beauty to the world where he had to hide his away due to the fact that he was insecure. 

   Not bothering to say a word you quickly left the room and raced down the hall. You needed to fix this as soon as possible. Otherwise Azul might not like you ever again. Two pairs of mismatched eyes watched your retreat and shone with anticipation. 

   “How long do you think it will take?”

   “Not long Floyd. Luckily she was already prepared before we released the picture.”

----------

   Azul was so over this whole thing. He had rewatched the video and looked at the pictures about 20 times. You were so gorgeous and graceful in your merform; it just made him frustrated that he couldn have been admired for his tentacles. They were simple and slimy so most people hated them yet you were swathed in colorful silks that attracted every creature in the ocean. While most would swim by him or threaten to eat him, any sea animal that came across you would be hypnotised by your beauty. 

   The worst thing about you being an octopus is that it gave him one more reason to tell himself that you will never love him. He was so drab and you were well amazing. Of all the creatures in the sea you had to be a blanket octopus. If you had been a simple mermaid or even better a common octopus like him then surely he would have a chance with you at least. 

   A sudden knock on the door startled the mage and he stood quickly to make sure he looked alright before answering the door. You stood anxiously as he opened the door and grabbed his wrist before he had the chance to shut it. Surprisingly, Azul offered no resistance as you dragged him to the entrance of the aquarium. 

   Octavinelle’s aquarium had two sections, one was for regular fish and the other sea creatures that were on display from the mostro lounge. The other was for the residents. Any and all merfolk could use the aquarium if they felt homesick or separated from their true forms. This was where you chose to place the gift you had made. 

   Coming to a stop you turned and looked at Azul. He looked confused and excited at the same time. You took this as a good sign. 

   “Azul. Will you swim with me?” The merman’s eyes widened and he stood there processing your request for nearly a minute before responding.

   “Sure.”

   Giddy with glee you quickly leapt into the water and shed your clothes before transforming. Rising to the surface you looked up at him from just underneath the surface and he peered back at you.

   Strange. He thought for sure he would feel angry again when he saw you but the darling flush on your face and how you were genuinely happy to swim with him gave him another feeling all together. It bubbled inside of him and made him blush as he slowly lowered himself into the cool water beside you. 

   It had been a while since Azul had consciously shifted so he was a bit worried that he would do it too fast or slow and something would go wrong. Fortunately he was able to shift without incident. Once shifted he suddenly felt very self conscious. As a common octopus he was far more simple and plain compared to your swirling and colorful body. 

   You didn’t seem to mind however as you twirled and circled around Azul excitedly.

   “Come on I have something to show you.” Azul frowned in confusion but followed you regardless. You led him to a sort of grove area that he had never seen before. It was very well hidden but gorgeous as well. 

   You looked back at him excitedly and pushed through the sea vines to an open area where a ray of sunlight fell across and illuminated the gift you had spent months on. Azul’s jaw dropped when he laid eyes on the octopus pot that sat in the middle of the small room. 

   The base was grey and made of some type of stone. Around it sat lavender pillars and corals that surrounded the base except for the entrance. The round opening was smoothed and carved in a delicate design that resembled sea coral. Behind it sat a dark velvet cloth that was tied back with a golden rope.Azul assumed that was to block the entrance or allow for privacy. 

   The inside was decorated with lavish pillows in all sorts of cool shades. They were illuminated by a small yet classy lamp that hung off to the side. The outside of the pot was for the most part smooth and grey with a few purple undertones, but off to one side there sat a carving that resembled the waves and water foam, on top off which held a large pearl that glinted in the sunlight. On the other side a darker grey octopus clung to the top portion of the pot and spread its tentacles out in an elegant manner. Azul took note that the few that rose off the pot appeared to be for hanging things and one looked suspiciously like it was meant to support a staff. 

   You floated in place for what felt like hours as you waited for Azul to react. You reminded yourself to stay patient as he might not respond to it immediately. When he finally did react he did so without words. He simply pointed to himself and raised his eyebrows. You nodded excitedly before bowing your head bashfully. 

   “I’m so sorry that I upset you Azul. I never meant for it to get out in the first place. I was actually planning on telling you first and then giving this octopus pot to you since I know you don’t have one. Then things got messed up and everything and I’m so sorry. I think you’re beautiful in your merform and I hope you’ll accept my apology.” Your face burned when you spoke and you swished your tentacles nervously.

   “What?” You looked up when Azul spoke and saw confusion on his face. “I’m not upset at you. It’s not your fault you’re beautiful. Besides I could never be upset at you, octopus or not. I was distraught because I thought you were so amazing and I’m so plain and that there was no chance that you’d like me back.” You gasped and watched as his face slowly turned pink. 

   He dove into the pot and curled up, mentally berating himself for letting that slip. Shocked you glided over to the entrance of the pot and leaned your head in.

   “Azul. Do you mean that? Do you really like me?” He didn’t respond, you took a deep breath and admitted your own feelings. “Well I like you so…” His head snapped up and he let his expression grow into an ecstatic smile before coughing into his fist and composing himself.

   “Well in that case, do you want to come in and lay with me?” Azul ignored the fact that his face felt like it was on fire and waited as you giggled and moved in beside him. 

   “I’d love to. What do you think of the pot?” The merman smiled gently at you and spoke as he curled his tentacles around you and yours, him. 

   “It’s exquisite. I couldn’t love it more. Where did you get it?” 

   “I made it.” You muttered and flushed at the surprised and impressed look on his face. He shifted closer to you and gripped your hand with his. 

   “You did an excellent job. Thank you.” Your fingers intertwined with his and you pressed your forehead against his. 

   “I love you Azul.” You mumbled sleepily.

   “I love you Y/n.” He spoke before shutting his eyes and enjoying the warmth that spread through the pot. You’re silky webbing fell across the two of you like a blanket and after a stressful morning Azul allowed himself to slip into a comfortable sleep.

----------

   Two pairs of heterochromatic eyes watched the two octopus merpeople sleep soundly inside the pot and smirked with wicked teeth. 

   “How did you know she was an octopus as well?”

   “Floyd, surely you must have noticed. They both smell like takoyaki.” The eels laughed and quietly zipped away, leaving the octopus pot behind.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x you #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x mc #twst wonderland #twst #twst x you #twst x mc #twst x reader #octavinelle #twst azul #twst floyd #twst jade #heartslabyul #twst ace #twst deuce #pomefiore #twst epel #savanaclaw #twst jack #twst ruggie #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #epel felmier #deuce spade #ace trappola #jade leech #floyd leech #azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x reader

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Grace and Frankie 7x1 - 7x4 thoughts

Meh? Like...I love them so much, but...meh?

(I did enjoy this line about brunch.)

I really loved season 6 of Grace and Frankie. I thought it was well-paced, largely very well-acted, generally well-written, and it culminated in a massive moment of character development for the title characters, who, having spent years growing closer and being there for each other when others could not or would not be, finally articulate to each other that they are the primary person in each other’s lives. Platonic gal pal soulmate BFF emotional support witches 4 lyfe!

I know progress isn’t always linear, and in fact is very rarely linear, but after a moment that significant, you’d think the writers on this show would maybe come up with some more interesting things for these characters to do than spin in circles?

@bristler and I watched on Friday night, and just this morning over breakfast had a good conversation about the first four episodes of the new season now that they have settled in our brains a bit. We concluded that the writing (often noticeably clunky, like the dialogue is responsible for more narration than usual) and the tone (aggressively wacky) feel really off, especially compared to the prior season. I think we diagnosed the big issue, which is that Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are by far the most talented actors on this show (if you disagree, fight me in the parking lot) and it feels surprisingly unfortunate that their characters have, to this point in the new season, pretty much figured out their perspectives on each other. No matter how people feel about Grace and Frankie’s sexualities, the whole show has been about them finding each other and getting in deeper and deeper, and it’s less interesting to watch other characters have realizations about that than it is to watch Grace and Frankie having realizations about themselves. If the title characters are now limited to reacting to other people’s actions, and the title characters are played by the best actors on the show, the whole show’s gonna suffer. And is suffering, very much so, at least for these first four episodes. I’m definitely still excited for the final twelve in 2022 (twelve! I cannot believe this season will have sixteen eps!), but I’m pretty disappointed so far.

Stuff I Loved:

The family brunch. These families have been entwined for so long, and the backstory for this particular brunch was so fun (even though I didn’t care for the effects they did to depict Grace and Robert 25 years ago; there was no need for a visual flashback in the scene). I love that Grace hit Frankie with a wiffle ball bat. I love that the two couples realized some of the emotional reasons behind their decisions to lie to each other about Bud’s Bunny and about M’Challah. I love the way Jane Fonda sounds uttering the phrase “Bud’s Bunny” with little to no irony. I love that Grace is able to recognize and articulate just how deep and miserable her anger issues were, albeit with the continued help of her omnipresent martini, and that Frankie told her she’d now make up a holiday in order to spend more time with Grace. I really, really hope Frankie does exactly this at some point in the remaining episodes of the season. I love that Grace is generally a pretty good person now, with aspirations of being a delightful person. I love that she and Frankie don’t have it in them to stay angry with each other, and I love all the evidence that they really, really talk to each other about everything now.

Frankie talking to the man at the office (I don’t remember who he was supposed to be? A toilet manufacturer? I didn’t mention this before, but I actually got pretty high while watching?!? Believe it or not, this was the first time I smoked pot and watched Grace and Frankie at the same time despite having enjoyed both activities on their own for quite some time. I would recommend the combo! And I think I still pretty much got what was happening) about paying for the toilet parts with candy. This whole subplot with the money laundering was absurd and not that interesting, but I loved this particular scene because it was finally evidence of some really thoughtful writing. The concepts aren’t enough! You have to write them into good dialogue! And the whole cash/candy thing was a moment of dialogue that only someone as hilarious as Lily Tomlin could pull off. Which she did, IMO.

In a show about super messy people, Coyote has stayed sober this entire time. He is sober, employed, in love, and preparing to buy a full-sized house with his partner. He hasn’t murdered anyone in his family. Hasn’t even attempted murder once.

In 2017 or whatever, Grace Hanson would have been furious about Frankie using obscure Beatles references like a treasure map when hiding the cash. But here in 2021, she cooperates and even gets in on the fun. The writing is very unsubtle this season, but that did feel like a reasonably subtle moment that shows how good of a partner she is for Frankie. (Platonic, of course! So platonic. Female friendship, amirite?)

Stuff I Did NOT Love and Felt Incredibly Negative About:

Brianna. I can only conclude that June Diane Raphael has decided she’s happy with playing a character whose primary role in life is to be hot and mean. She succeeds at being hot and mean, but I have reached my limit with this character. I realize we’re only a quarter of the way into the season, but I don’t think I can take another arc about her learning to compromise only to reveal to Barry that she never intended to compromise at all. At this point, it’s both abusive and boring. How?! The Grace/Brianna parallels aren’t interesting anymore, because one character has grown and the other is stagnant. I get that Brianna was raised in an emotionally stilted environment by two unhealthy people. But I think it would be very cool if she could learn something from her mother at this point. Grace has put a ton of effort into dealing with her “rabbit-killing, mad-at-the-world anger.” She’s put a ton of effort into figuring out what makes her happy, what she wants her life to look like. She’s even started accepting her age and abilities without shame. And that growth is believable; Grace is still short-tempered and she still slugs back way too many martinis and she struggles to articulate certain things, but she’s grown into a truly lovely human. And while, as a daughter with a mother, I can absolutely attest to the fact that it can be difficult and uncomfortable to learn lessons from one’s mother, Brianna really, really should. Grace spent decades letting anger and shame trap her in a small, miserable life. Brianna—and even Mallory, who just seems like a vapid idiot this season—are traveling that same path, but there’s someone right there who could really help, maybe even more than Frankie helped when the Hanson girls were first growing up.

The arraignment. The scene might’ve been salvageable if it was filmed from Grace’s perspective, and filmed to reflect how surreal and improbable it all was. But speaking of non-linear progress, this scene erased everything Nick Skolka has done to put himself in my good graces (LOL) over the past couple seasons. I mean, I tried, man. I even wrote fic about Nick, Grace, and Frankie making a genuine effort at polyamory. But the arraignment is so emotionally manipulative, such a slap in the face of everything Grace has worked for, and while we’re certainly “supposed” to feel the weight of the moment, I mean, it’s not like we’re supposed to be like, “Oh, cool, we’re in a rom com now! This is adorable!” it still felt bad and unearned and slapdash.

And I want Frankie to process these things with her! Frankie seems so happy to have all this information about Grace and how Grace feels, but I want to see scenes in which we can gain an understanding of how Frankie actually feels. Hearing Frankie talk to other people about how Grace feels is interesting, but it’s like there’s no room in these episodes for us to learn anything new about Frankie herself.

Grace’s transitional wig. Is so. Bad. It is. Such a. Bad wig. Oof. I mean, I like what they’re doing with Grace’s hair from a plot perspective, although (see one bullet up) I would really like to get more of an understanding of what’s happening in Grace’s head, not just on top of her head. And gosh, Frankie would be a really good person to talk to about this in a conversation that lasts longer than 30 seconds. But the wig! She’s in a wig in all four episodes, of course, since Jane Fonda went grey and cut her hair short before they started filming this season. The wig for episodes 1 and 2 is fine; it’s a good approximation of Grace’s typical hair, and of course we know that canonically Grace’s hair isn’t 100% her own hair anyway. But the wig with grey roots looks so weird. The part that’s growing out doesn’t look the same as the hair on the wig from 1 and 2. And the grey roots look like a yarmulke. I cannot wait to get to the point in the season when Grace goes all the way grey.

(One more thing about the hair. I can’t let it go. I paused the show while we were watching to rant, but I’m not done.) I had the great privilege of seeing Jane Fonda in person at a protest in 2019. She is an insanely beautiful human. She was growing her hair out and it was partially dyed blonde and partially grey. It looked really cool. I am not ashamed to say I spent that day learning many things about the climate crisis and about Jane Fonda’s hair. Having seen her in real life with her real hair looking that fucking great, I just have a an extra-large grudge against everyone involved in that horrible wig. The wig is necessary, but it didn’t have to be this bad.

What Do I Care About Now?

I am pretty intrigued by the way Grace threw out her real age in a conversation with Nick and Elena. She has nothing to fear anymore! She’s so chill about aging! What could go wrong? I assume that Nick and Elena maneuvering for Nick to be on house arrest in Grace's house specifically has to do with the fact that Grace is 82. She’s gonna find out that Nick is allowed to be with her because she’s ancient and helpless and the court took pity. Or something like that. She’s going to feel betrayed on top of feeling stifled and overwhelmed by Nick’s presence. I want to see where this goes for sure.

Other than that, and other than the fact that I really do continue to believe this show is moving in a direction in which Grace and Frankie will choose each other, I feel very whatever about this whole thing. I love this show and I will always appreciate this show for giving me some incredible characters to spend years of my life writing about, and for bringing me some pretty amazing friendships. Speaking of those friendships, yesterday @ellydash and @telanu and I were talking about some of the incredible TV we’ve watched recently, like Ted Lasso and Hacks and Fleabag and Killing Eve, and how great it feels to watch beautifully written TV crafted by writers who are profoundly—organically yet intentionally—attuned to even the most minor character’s rhythm. The disappointment of these first few episodes of the new G&F season feels like a mild disappointment rather than a sharp heartbreak, and that has a lot to do with being deeply invested in other shows that could also go in all kinds of different directions but with writing I fundamentally trust.

Also Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are my forever faves and my appreciation for their performances and general awesomeness onscreen and in life is undiminished. So that’s pretty cool.

#grace and frankie #meta by me #grace and frankie s7 spoilers #a lesbian watches ted lasso #grace hanson is a gay disaster #except #she's not even a disaster anymore #she's totally fine and men keep bothering her! #frankie bergstein is a bisexual mess

[ahockeywrites]

Baby, I’m Yours

Warnings: Pregnancy, children, explicit female reader

Matthew lifted up your knuckles to his lips and pressed four kisses to them. One for each member of the family you had created. The first was for you, always. You were the first one who he knew he had loved. The second was for him. Some might think it was strange, but it was his reminder to you that he was a part of you. The third was for your eldest child, Jacob, as soon as your husband’s eyes looked at him, he was smitten. The fourth was for your unborn daughter who already had her father wrapped around her little finger. He couldn’t imagine loving a family any more.

He let his eyes wander down your sleeping body, slightly uncomfortable from the bump you had, and watched the light reflect off the rings that adorned your left hand and softly smiled to himself.

Watching you walk down the aisle of the church in St Louis, wearing a white dress that fitted you so perfectly was something he could never forget. The tears the two of you shared as you read your vows and the little giggles you made when he started explaining some of the reasons why he loved living with you, including the abundance of ice cream in the freezer and the random pieces of paper he would find around the house with notes written to yourself. He could never picture loving a family more than the one you had.

The cries of Jacob rang around the house, waking you up. Matthew gently caressed your shoulder and told you to keep sleeping. Having a rampant, curly headed 2 year old running around the house wasn’t how you expected your first few months of marriage to have gone, but you wouldn’t have changed it for the world. It was perfect for the two of you.

To say that your first pregnancy was a surprise would be an understatement. It wasn’t that the two of you were actively trying for a baby, especially because you were taking your pill at the same time everyday, but one morning you must have forgotten and around a month later, when you were on placebo, you noticed that your period hadn’t come. To begin with, you didn’t think anything of it but then certain smells that you used to love, suddenly you couldn’t stand. You texted your future mother-in-law, Chantal, because in her eyes you were already part of the family and anything you needed to talk about, you could talk to her about. She was initially confused and suggested you see a doctor but then it all clicked in her head. You were experiencing the same symptoms she had experienced with her three pregnancies.

Chantal was hesitant to mention it, especially as your engagement was very new, but the two of you had one of the strongest relationships she had ever seen and knew that this would not put a dent in the life you had planned together. As soon as she mentioned it, over a Facetime call because she refused to say it over text, everything was out of the window. It all made sense now, and the only thing left to do was to take a test.

They were the longest five minutes of your life. Waiting for the word to appear behind a small plastic window scared you more than anything else. You had the potential to be carrying a bundle of cells that would form into a baby. As you sat waiting, you let yourself picture the family that this baby, if there was one, would become a part of. The love of hockey would run deep and Matthew would probably have your child on the ice as soon as they could hold their own head up. It would be a family that would go to the ends of the earth for the simplest thing if they knew it would make one member happy.

The alarm sound on your phone started you out of your daydream. You allowed yourself to glance at the three tests you had taken. All three said the same word. Pregnant. It was like you had forgotten to breathe as you let out a sigh, of relief? Concern? You really weren’t sure. It wasn’t like Matthew had never mentioned kids, he had just never explicitly said when he wanted them. But then you remembered how he was with other people’s children, always making sure they were entertained and giving them his full attention. It always made you want kids with him, even early on in your relationship before he put the ring on your finger. You weren’t traditional by any means, but you always hoped you would go down the path of engagement, moving in together, marriage, children.

Now, you did move in with Matthew approximately 30 minutes before he proposed because he couldn’t hide the ring from you any longer than he needed to. But this wasn’t the same as a ring. With a ring, you had as much planning time before the wedding as you wanted. Finding out you were pregnant, it was a limited time until you had an addition to the family.

You didn’t know if 5 minutes or 5 hours had passed by the time Matthew arrived back from practice. You were still sitting on the bathroom floor with a glass of water by your side. He shouted a few times before popping his head into the bathroom where you meekly greeted him. You were usually so excited to see him after practice, especially when you had been working from home all day, but as soon as he saw your face he knew something was up. It was an expression he almost never saw, fear. “Matty, I’m scared,” you whispered, pointing at the tests you had taken.

He looked over to the counter by the sink and saw the tests. He let himself smile, he had always hoped this day would come, this might have been sooner than he had expected but it was something he wanted. “Why are you scared?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“I’m too young to be a mother, you’ve just signed a big dollar contact and don’t have time for a baby whilst being the face of a franchise and I don’t even know if you want this baby,” you let out, allowing the tears to flow. Matthew wrapped your body into his in a tight hug and allowed you to let your feelings out. He rubbed your back gently and you curled yourself into his chest.

“Baby,” he started, still allowing your tears to fall, “the ring on your finger means I’m not going anywhere, and the baby. The baby we’re gonna welcome to the family soon, I am so excited to meet them, you wouldn’t believe it.” Matthew began tearing up at that and you were able to let out a little giggle. It was something the general public never got to see, the instigator of many fights letting out his emotions in a different way.

“Just can’t believe we’re expecting,” you exclaimed.

“Whatever worries you have about this, I’m gonna be here for the two of you,” Matt reminded you. He was always by your side even when you didn’t expect him to be. “Say the words, I’ll be here physically for you.” You let yourself smile, the first one since finding out you were expecting.

The first few months of your pregnancy weren’t as bad as you had expected. Yes, you did have your head in the toilet more often than you would like and turning down a glass of wine at events was difficult but Matthew was always there beside you and you couldn’t thank him more. It was also a challenge to keep Matthew’s big mouth shut around other people, both of your families knew the news but you kinda wanted to keep it to as few people as possible. He tried his best, but there was only so long he could keep it a secret before blurting it out to everyone.

The boys in the locker room had noticed something was up with him before he even mentioned it. He was heading home earlier on nights out, whenever the two of you were together he had to have some form of physical contact with you and he had stopped drinking anything alcoholic. He also got himself in less fights and was less physical on the ice. Many of the boys had asked him why he had been changing his habits and his response was always the same, “I’m getting prepared to become a family man, with the wedding planning and all that, I want Y/N to know I’m serious about settling down.”

Matthew eventually shared the news with the team after a strong win over Edmonton. Everyone, even the married boys were heading out but he knew you would already be half asleep after the game. Elias kept pestering him to come out and he finally snapped, “I would love to spend more time in your company, but some of us have pregnant fiance’s to go home to!” His eyes widened as soon as he said that, knowing that you wanted to keep it quiet. The entire locker room erupted in cheers but all he could think of was your face and how disappointed you would be when he explained that he just wanted to come home to you.

He rushed home, expecting you not to have heard congratulations from the other girls, but your phone blew up as soon as they found out. Did he really expect his teammates not to share this news with their other halves? You were surprised, it had taken him until you were 20 weeks pregnant for him to share the news with the team, you remembered that you now owed Taryn money as she had bet $50 that it would be after 18 weeks and you said before 18 weeks.

Matthew ran into the house, panting, to see you sitting on the couch with a large bowl of buttery popcorn on your lap. It looked so normal to him and he didn’t want to disappoint you. However, you knew better. “Matty, I got loads of texts in the girls’ group chat today,” you started, watching his face drop, “and they were congratulating us? I even got one from Johnny saying, and I quote ‘didn’t know Matt’s sperm was that good’. Anything you want to say?” You really tried to play bad cop but you couldn’t so you burst out laughing.

Matthew sighed, knowing that he should have expected this from you. He walked over to the couch and just dropped into your arms, being careful of the bump you were showing. You both relaxed into the cuddle and suddenly all the worries you had ever felt about being pregnant were gone. You were so comfortable that you ended up falling asleep.

It can’t have been more than an hour after you had fallen asleep, but you were woken up by the sounds of someone whispering. “Heya there buddy, your mom and I are so excited to meet you. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and make you the happiest kid in the world. I don’t think momma wants you on the ice soon, but as soon as she says it’s okay, I’m gonna bring you with uncle Brady and auntie Taryn and we’re gonna have so much fun together,” Matt was whispering because he didn’t want to wake you up but you sniffling and trying to hold back the tears was more than enough to let him know you were awake.

“You okay there Y/N?” Matt asked, concerned that he had gone too far talking to the bump. He was always so respectful when it came to touching the bump and towards you in general.

“I’m, I’m just so happy,” you exclaimed. “We have a beautiful house, and we’re expecting a baby. I just didn’t think I’d be waking up from a nap to you talking to the baby. I promise, these are happy tears.” Matthew smiled at you and you just knew at that moment this wouldn’t be the only baby you had together.

And you were right, almost as soon as Jacob met the world, your fiance wanted another one. You swiftly reminded him that you had just pushed his son out and just had stitches down there and weren’t even thinking about sex. The sight of Matthew with his son resting on his chest was something you were never able to get used to.

Matthew looked at you in your hospital gown, sweat still dripping from your forehead, hair splayed everywhere and thought you were the sexiest woman alive. The pain you had gone through, just to give him a child was something he could never repay you for. “Baby,” he spoke quietly, “get some rest, we’ll be here when you get back.” You listened to him and allowed yourself to sleep, even if it was only for a short while.

//

The second pregnancy was not planned either and the two of you found out together, in St Louis. You had both returned there to have your final fittings before the wedding, which was about a month out. The room in the back of the bridal boutique was beautiful and you allowed yourself to take it in for one last time before the wedding. Chantal and Taryn were there gushing over how beautiful you looked, even without the fancy hair and makeup.

“Matt’s not gonna know what hit him,” Taryn giggled. You smiled softly, looking at yourself in the mirror. The dress clung to your curves perfectly, the lace along the arms was delicate and the skirt made you feel like a Disney Princess. But you couldn’t shake the ick you had been feeling all day, to begin with you had put it down to nerves with this being your final fitting and Matthew, Brady, Jacob and Keith being left to their own devices at the tailors. The feeling didn’t go when you arrived back at the Tkachuk residence for dinner either.

You excused yourself from helping with dinner, telling Chantal that you needed to finalise something with your maid of honour which she understood. As you made it to your room, you instantly realised you needed to find a toilet quickly, luckily you had one attached to the bedroom. You let yourself empty the contents of your stomach and quickly found your phone. It took a few moments to find the app you needed, white with red overlapping circles. 40 days without a period. It couldn’t be, not this close to the wedding. You had to text Matthew and get him to make a stop on the way home.

You: This is gonna sound very weird, but could you go to the drugstore on your way back?x

Matty: Sure, what do you need? Pads? Tampons?x

Of course, you thought, the only time you asked him to go to the drugstore was to get things for your period. Sighing softly, you replied.

You: Actually, could you grab a few pregnancy tests?x

Matty: Oh shit, you think again?x

You: Yeah, just had my head in the toilet and apparently I haven’t had a period for almost 6 weeks. Grab some things for Jacob in there too in case Brady wants to be nosy x

Matty: Ofc baby, we’re gonna leave soon so I’ll see you then. Keep drinking water, you know my mom will do anything for you x

Matthew let out an audible sigh, the two of you weren’t going at it like rabbits like before Jacob was born but you were both being careful making sure you used protection every time. He racked his brain to try and remember where the two of you were 6 weeks ago, Florida. It hit him like a ton of bricks, Jacob had stayed at home with Keith and Chantal, who wanted you two to have a holiday in the summer because the honeymoon planned involved Jacob. The infinity pool and hot tub were too tempting for you not to get intimate in. He remembered the moans you made as he rolled his hips into yours, the scratches left on your back and hips, the bruises that littered your collarbones. He allowed himself to get lost in the memory for just a few moments before exiting the dressing room to see Jacob giggling in Brady’s arms.

Running, as much as he could in his suit, towards Jacob, Matthew picked up his son and spun him around a few times. He imagined what it would be like if the two of you had another kid. Another curly haired, energetic person in the house. To him, it sounded like heaven but he was never going to force you into something you didn’t want. He must have zoned out for a few too many moments because Keith had to shake him out of his daydream, asking if he was okay. All he could do was respond with a hesitant nod.

“We good to stop by a drugstore on the way back? Y/N wanted me to grab a few things for this little man here,” Matthew said whilst tickling Jacob lightly. Both Brady and Keith gave him a funny look, they were both sure that anything Jacob needed was already at the house but let him have his way. It was only 5 minutes out of the way, so it couldn’t be too bad.

Well, it wouldn’t have been that bad if Matthew knew his way around a drugstore. He found himself down the shampoo and conditioner aisle more times than he would like to admit to anyone but you. Eventually, he had picked up some extra diapers for Jacob and the pregnancy tests. He debated picking up some prenatal vitamins but knew that it could be taken the wrong way, especially if you weren’t pregnant. He also ignored the strange looks he got from the cashier but knew that he needed the things to be bagged quickly.

Matthew tumbled back into the car, next to Jacob, and started making faces at the young boy. He was careful to make sure that the bag didn’t get too close to Brady because he just knew that he would rummage through the bag to find out the real reason why he had gone to the drugstore, more to confirm his and Keith’s suspicions. It was always a when would Y/N and Matthew have another one, not if, and they knew Matthew well. He would never pass up an opportunity to spend time with you in more ways than one.

Chantal also had her suspicions something was up, you weren’t as energetic as usual when it came to family games outside and the slight concern on your face in the boutique made her a bit worried. She hoped that you weren’t getting cold feet and planning how to get out of your own wedding. She gave you a smile as you came down the stairs back into the kitchen and opened her arms to invite you in for a hug. “How close to the wedding can we get the dress altered?” you asked, sniffling.

As you pulled back from the hug, she gave you a knowing look. “Matt’s coming back with tests, I’ll take them before dinner,” you let out. She pulled you back in for another hug and rubbed your back. Chantal always made you feel loved and was a second mother to you, she had the motherly senses you wished you could learn.

“The dress can be altered whenever you need love,” she spoke softly, “but we need to know if you are first, no stress under this roof. Go back upstairs and rest until the boys are back”

If Matthew entering the car was amusing, him leaving it was a whole new level of funny. First, he struggled to open the door, second, he left his son for Brady and Keith to look after and third, he kept using the wrong key to open the front door. When he finally entered the house, his mother looked at him sternly. “She’s upstairs, waiting for you, I’ll keep the other boys busy,” Chantal spoke. Nodding meekly, he ran up the stairs to find you laying on the bed. He gently tapped your shoulder to let you know that he was home and offered you his hand to walk to the bathroom.

These five minutes seemed longer than the first time, even with Matthew there to try and distract you. He told you that Jacob really enjoyed the ice cream they had before they went for the fitting and just how cute he’s gonna look in his tux for the wedding. This time it was Matthew’s alarm that went off and he looked at the results first. “I think we need to get another room ready back in Calgary,” he whispered, looking at you with all the love in his eyes.

“We’r- I’m pregnant?” you asked, you couldn’t believe it.

“We’re having another baby, baby,” he whisper-shouted. The smiles on your faces were huge, even if you had found out you were pregnant so close to the wedding, you wouldn’t have changed anything for the world. The three of you made a perfect family and the only way to make it more perfect was to add a child who was going to be the most loved person in the world. You pulled him in for a massive hug, you were 8ish months away from becoming a family of four.

It was almost impossible to hide the smiles the two of you were wearing as you walked down the stairs to the family room. “Got enough love to share with another Tkachuk? And not just the one that is going to become one in a month?” Matthew teased his mother. Chantal let out a small scream and ran over to hug the two of you. Another scream came from the patio outside and it belonged to Jacob.

“Clearly someone is excited to be a big brother, aren’t you,” you spoke as you walked outside to see Brady swinging Jacob around.

“Big brother?” Brady asked, slightly confused.

“I suppose, congratulations are in order for the two of you?” Keith questioned jokingly. He saw the sparkle in Matthew’s eyes whenever he had some news to tell about the two of you. It was there when he told them of the house, the engagement and the news about your first pregnancy.

“Yeah, found out about 10 minutes ago. There’s gonna be another little one around soon,” Matthew said with a massive smile. The embraces continued and this time you allowed Matthew to share the news a bit earlier, especially as the wedding was coming up and people would start asking questions about why the bride and groom weren’t drinking.

//

The day of the wedding came around much faster than you or Matthew had expected. Taryn made sure that Matthew was kept away from the house as the two of you were trying to keep some traditions. Chantal had made sure that you had stuck to the something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and you kept reminding her that she didn’t need to see the something blue because it was underneath the dress.

Your maid of honour let out an audible snigger at this as she had been there to help you buy it, but she didn’t anticipate you being three months pregnant at the time of the wedding. You were very thankful for the heavy layer of foundation that graced your face, hiding your incredibly blushed cheeks. You had received multiple photos from Brady of Jacob causing havoc in their hotel room and it almost made you cry with happiness, and it wouldn’t be the first time that happened on this day.

Eventually, it was time for you to make your way to the doors of the church but first Taryn went to collect Jacob as he had the very important role of being ring bearer. His little legs had been carrying him around most of the day so Taryn agreed to carry him down the aisle as long as he kept the cushion very still to which he nodded excitedly. You looped arms with your father who gave you a smile and then the music began to play.

As soon as Brady heard the music start, he looked over his shoulder to see Taryn holding his nephew, who was trying to wriggle out of her arms. Brady giggled as his sister put Jacob down and allowed him to run to Brady. He picked him up and spun him around a few times, then settled him on his hip and allowed the bridesmaids to enter, followed by you.

“Matt, you are one lucky man,” Brady whispered into his ear as he had allowed himself to take a quick peek at you. Matthew tried to turn around to see you but Brady stopped him. You let out a little laugh at the exchange between the two brothers. It made you excited to be joining a family with so much love to give.

The altar was adorned with ivory and navy blue flowers and you couldn’t have imagined the day to be any better. Even when your dad whispered something to Matthew that you couldn’t hear, the slightly scared face he made just made you want to smile.

He took his time as he looked over you, one of the final times he would do that before you became a Tkachuk. “You are so beautiful, Y/N. You’re gonna make me the happiest man on earth,” he spoke softly, trying to hide the tears. The lace bodice allowed him to see the smallest of bumps that only someone who knew you were pregnant would notice.

“You don’t clean up too bad yourself Tkachuk,” you let out. His black tux and bow tie made him look like a godsend, and you already couldn’t wait to get him back to the hotel room. The parts between that and the vows moved much quicker than in the rehearsal.

“And now the vows, Matthew, if you could begin,” the vicar spoke softly.

“Y/N, where do I begin,” he said with a giggle. “I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. A little someone who may be the maid of honour was trying to get you to dance at one of the events we had, as you were working for one of the sponsors. Elias had tried flirting with you already in the evening, so let’s just say my hopes weren’t particularly high. But we ended up chatting for a bit, and I did go over to speak to you with the intention of flirting and then leaving but you were just too enticing to leave. Then, I somehow got your number and then the rest is history as they say.” You laughed, trying to hide the tears that would surely be falling soon.

“I remember the first note I found lying around your apartment. I had stayed over after a tough loss against Edmonton, and when I woke up in the morning you had left a post-it note on your pillow encouraging me to come into the kitchen for breakfast along with a very badly drawn picture of the two of us smiling,” he continued, smiling as the memory played through his head. “You were a mess in the kitchen, still are.” At that the entire congregation let out a laugh, “but you had pancakes, waffles, fruit salad, bacon and eggs covering the tiny island. It was at that moment I knew you were the one, at 2 months in.”

Matthew reached up to wipe away a tear, then spoke, “When I told my mom about you and your never ending love of ice cream before your first trip to St Louis, she just looked at me and asked if I knew. It couldn’t have been anyone else other than you. Y/N, I promise to always compliment the little drawings you do on post-it notes that live around the house. I promise to never come between you and the tub of ice cream in your hand after Jacob has gone to bed. I promise to always be by your side, through anything that may come our way.”

At this point, you were full on crying and Brady tried chirping you before you shut him down and he passed you a tissue and the vows you had prepared.

“And now Y/N, your vows,” the vicar said as he motioned for you to speak.

“I don’t really know how mine are going to live up to yours Matt, but I have to try,” you spoke. “Matthew, you caught my eye as soon as I walked into that ballroom that looked way too fancy for me to be in. I mean, it wasn’t hard to notice you seeing as the Flames thought a good marketing campaign would be sticking your face on almost every billboard in Calgary. When you came over to speak with me, I really hoped your on ice persona wasn’t your real life one. I am thankful to report, the on ice Matthew only comes out when he’s around Brady.” This made all the attendees roar with laughter and it gave you a chance to look into Matthew’s eyes. They were a bright blue, and were looking at you with such love, he ran his thumb over your knuckles as you started again.

“It must have been a few months after we started dating, I was going through my closet to find something,” you started laughing as you saw Matthew’s face. He knew exactly where this story was going, “I had been in contact with the loveliest almost brother-in-law that there is, and he had been so lovely to send me one of his jerseys as soon as he had found out that Matt hadn’t got me one yet. I just so happened to throw it onto my bed as I was looking for a denim jacket. And he just looked at me with the most confused face ever. He never realised that his parents spoke to Brady about his love life and that Brady can do things by himself. But, I find my jacket and we go out for the evening and I don’t think any more of it. But when I get back from work the next night, it’s gone and in its place is about 20 Calgary jerseys all with the number 19 on the back and a post-it note attached to one of them saying, ‘if you’re gonna wear a jersey with your future last name on it, make sure it’s the right team and number’.”

Most of the attendees hadn’t heard the story and now it seemed like one that they would never forget. “Matthew, I promise to only wear your jersey to games, even when you’re playing against Brady and the number seven seems like a better choice,” you said. Matthew rolled his eyes, but allowed you to continue. “I promise to always order an extra portion of spring rolls whenever we order Chinese food because you like eating them cold the next morning. And most of all, I promise to never leave your side, from the good times to the bad. I’m gonna be here for you.”

You looked over to see your mother wiping the tears from her eyes, and your father was trying to keep a strong exterior but as soon as you caught his eyes, the smallest tear fell. It wasn’t like Chantal and Keith were doing any better. Keith was onto his second pack of tissues and Chantal was thankful that there was a decent enough time between the service and the reception to redo her makeup because there was no way that she hadn’t smudged some of it with all of the tears that had been rolling down her face.

“Thank you, both of you,” the vicar continued, “and now, if the couple could join hands.” You two did as he suggested because today was not the day to get in the vicar’s bad books. “Now, by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. Matthew, you may now kiss your wife,” it took Matthew all of zero seconds to press his lips to yours and invite you in for a passionate kiss, one that might have been considered to be too passionate to be shared in a church.

“Mrs Tkachuk has a nice ring to it eh,” Matthew said before pressing his lips against yours again.

All you wanted to do was sit down with a glass of wine and your husband, but bridal duties and pregnancy meant you could do none of those things. You had greeted all your guests with a feeble glass of water in your hands rather than the wine you craved so dearly. The looks the guests had given you were of confusion because to them, it made sense for the bride to get plastered drunk, but there you were as sober as you were the morning you woke up. But rather than drunk on alcohol, you were drunk on love. The love that Matthew showed you, Jacob and the tiny bump you had showing. The love that all both of your families and all of your friends showed by coming to your wedding.

You had the opportunity to sit down properly for all of five minutes before Brady and your maid of honour stole the microphone to announce that it was time for your first dance as a married couple. Matthew stood up first and offered you his hand to help you up, he already knew that your feet were aching just from the sheer amount of time you had spent on them during the day. You sent him a thankful smile and made your way to the dance floor.

Both of your husband’s arms went around your waist and your arms wrapped around his neck and you allowed your head to rest on his shoulder, trying to not to transfer too much makeup across to his white shirt. “You know, it’s crazy how many Tkachuk’s we’ve welcomed to the world in the past two years and how there’s gonna be another one soon,” Matthew said softly.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you spoke, leaning in to give him a sweet kiss. Once the song had finished, the two of you excused yourself from the events hall and made your way to the room where you had gotten ready for the reception. You flung your shoes across the room and very gracefully flopped onto the sofa that was in the room.

“You know, you don’t want to get a crease in that dress,” Matthew laughed. You shot him a stern look then pulled him down by his collar to lay on top of you.

“And you didn’t want to crease your shirt either but I think carrying Jacob did it for you,” you whispered and then passionately pressed your lips against his. His tongue swept along your bottom lip and you granted him entrance. You pulled back, “they’re gonna notice if we’re gone for too long you know,” you taunted him, knowing that he couldn’t keep his hands off of you.

“And you think I care because?” he taunted back, “uncle Brady and auntie Taryn are doing a great job looking after Jacob, isn’t it time I looked after my wife?” You rolled your eyes and kissed him again.

You had to check your hair in the mirror before you left and reminded Matthew that he might want to put his now untied bowtie back on otherwise people might suspect something. He just flat out told you that it had been half an hour, what else would a newly wed couple be doing. Just before you opened the door to reenter the function room, Matt wrapped his arms around your stomach from behind. “I can’t wait to meet the little one,” he exclaimed as he pressed a soft kiss to your temple.

“Neither can I Matt, neither can I.”

#ahockeywrites #Matthew Tkachuk #flames19 #hockey imagine #nhl fic #hockey fic #nhl imagine