#i feel ungrateful

[its-a-dam-blue-brick]

The most reliable way to keep me in place is to keep filling up my water cup.

I’ll be sitting at a restaurant trying to get down the rest of my water so I can go home and a waiter fills it up again and I’m just silently crying as I struggle to drink the fucking cornucopia they have provided.

#I feel ungrateful #like #my stomach is killing me #I might just throw up #but I refuse to leave my cup un-emptied #dnd prompt #story prompt #I’m a gentleman #water #cornucopia #🌽

[painfully-surviving]

I’m crying right now I’m literally so happy. I just had a new flavor of poptart. That might sound dumb but Istg this is such a big deal for me- my entire childhood I’ve only had strawberry and blueberry (when I was a pre teen my parents finally got cinnamon) but I swear I have been stuck with those three flavors my entire life. The flavor they got was “snickerdoodle” it tasted like cinnamon but like way better. The reason I never got a different flavor was because my parents always said that the other pop tart flavors (the ones with icing) had gelatin in them and because I grew up as a Muslim we weren’t allowed to eat non-kosher gelatin (if that makes sense). I literally went downstairs for a midnight snack and I was like “oh pop tarts, lemme check the flavor I hope it’s blueberry…snicker…SNICKERDOODLE?! UHM 👀👀” I swear I grabbed that mf box at the speed of light. It took me like 5 minutes to get out of shock- I’m not even kidding I was literally in denial I was like “bro omg no. No way. This- this can’t- no way bro. I can’t- I can’t bro omg- omg- I swear to god-“ and I even burned myself but I was like “fuck it I ain’t even upset, this is the highlight of my year” and once I ate it I immediately started crying- I was like “my childhood dream bro 😭” this flavor doesn’t have icing so I still need to check that off my list of “things my parents never allowed” but a new flavor was just so exciting. I’m sorry this is dumb I was just so hype because I was always super jealous of every other kid cause they could just eat any type of poptart whenever- this is what I mean when I say my religious trauma is weird cause like why am I crying over poptarts 💀🤚

#adhd #autistic #relatable #actually neurodivergent #thoughts #Islam #Muslim #religon #religious trauma #trauma #I can’t breath #I feel dramatic but I need to know if people relate #pop tarts #childhoodtrauma #childhood #food #3am #I feel ungrateful #I feel weird #I wanna try poptarts with icing but I’m scared I’m gonna burn in hell

[iamconfusedanduseless]

i soo sick of my room

I have been in this room for  3 or 4 years now and it looks the SAME FUCKING WAY.  The bed is sooo huge that moving it around feels like me just trying to destroy my mental peace if I have it. And the room is tooo small to just move things around.  THE SAME FUCKING BED, STUDY TABLE, A DRESSING TABLE IN THE SAME FUCKING POSITION FOR IDK  how long  IT FEELS LIKE FUCKING FOREVER. I hate it

#help me #i feel ungrateful #i hate my room #inspiration?? #i hate it #yeah #sAD #random rant #sorry for the rant #room #home door #decoracioninteriores #need new #girl help #i hate it thanks #can u tell me what to do??

[stil-lindigo]

the machine.

a comic about being a 'creator' online.

creative notes:

#in light of recent online 'success' i feel like this may come off as ungrateful #just wanna say that all the comics i make in this series are written about experiences i felt in 2022 #which was a rough year personally and creatively #and i very luckily don't feel this way anymore #and this also isnt to shame anyone who DOES feel this way #its easy to start to feel like all you are is a vending machine of art #and like thats all you are to people #theres nothing human to you #it can be a bit of a pit #and on some level this damage is self inflicted but social media really doesnt help that feeling #this wont work for everyone but having friends around you who you can talk to about stuff that ISNT art #going outside for dinner #maybe walking around #its good for when you need that feeling to go away even a bit temporarily #youre a human being #not a mindless content creation machine #and i hope anyone who feels like this now can get to a place where they have a healthier relationship with their own work #good luck to all of you #and thank you for reading #comic art #its 10pm #stillindigo art

[asteroidtroglodyte]

It’s crazy how there’s so much misinformation about Food. The thing we need all the time. Arguably the point of getting up each day. Fucking food. You’d think educating our young on this central component of life would be the sort of thing we’d teach them as kids, but nooo, I have to go reading up on zookeeping techniques for keeping and feeding large primates in captivity to get a straight fucking answer about carbon and phosphorus sourcing instead of a bunch of pseudoscience or fatphobia or classism or racism or just good old fashioned taboos! [Chews furniture] HOW DO YOU DEMONIZE THE POTATO

#food #vent #rant #i now feel like both the zookeeper and the exhibit #nutrition #seriously though how did we demonize the potato #ungrateful bastards

[howlonomy]

I'm surprised I never asked, did Chara get their own memorial along with the other six? They were very much the starting domino after all.

If they did get one, how did they feel about it?

they got their own memorial! they put up a nice facade around their friends n complained about it but… to know their parents still love them after what they did……

#asked and answered #monster clover au #mcau doodle #clover is annoyed bc they arent used to charas ‘i hate everything’ facade so theyre like. you are so ungrateful #ur parents constructed a whole statue in ur honor and u bitch about it? okay :| #chara does have a Lot of feelings about it but. they are not gonna talk about that shit

[hel7l7]

I just need someone who understands, who really gets it someone who'll hold me through the worst of it all

#this feels ungrateful #i have plenty of friends who i love dearly who are really there for me #but sometimes i want somoene who gets it #who knows what it's like #someone who will hold me and hug me and not look away #i've been watching too much movies/shows #my expectations are too high #vent art #venting #mixed media #cptsd #ptsd

[clown-eating-pig]

Podcast episodes feel so short when you don’t have another one to instantly consume :(

#tmagp #the magnus protocol #this is the first podcast I’ve listened to as it’s being released #and when the theme started playing at the end I literally yelled ‘that’s ALL???’ #not to be ungrateful I am just so desperate to Know 😔 #feel like Jon atp #‘spare statement? spare statement Mr and Mr newall and sims?? 🥺’ #sick ep tho #did make me want to upchuck just a little 😌

[aimseytv]

shirt that reads don’t compliment me i’ll cry

#i can never respond to compliments #i try so hard but i always end up just looking away and changing the topic as fast as possible #i hate the idea of seeming ungrateful but it makes me feel so jelly inside #being complimented gives me the same feeling as when you think about your bones being wet #does this make any sense

[vimbry]

it's sad how many reviews and stuff around tmbg seem to centre linnell as the sole dark and creepy writer of the band, never really crediting flansburgh too. do "hide away folk family," "dirt bike," "rabid child," "black ops," "cloisonné" mean nothing to them, smh.

#tmbg #this rigid dichotomy they tend to get forced into even tho linnell has written some happier songs and flansburgh plenty horrific ones #I'll be honest tho. I fully went into tmbw-interp-tab conspiracy when I first heard ''sleeping in the flowers'' lmao #I thought that song was about somebody getting murdered #the title seemed like a euphemism to me #it's actually. according to flansburgh. just about getting high in central park #and it's inspired by itchycoo park by the small faces which I knew and loved before and it's GREAT go listen to that. it's '60s psychedelia #so the lyrics are prob fantasising about spending time with the crush and essentially playfully talking sweet nothings together #bc they're stoned and in love #but honestly I thought ''you proclaim that you're an island. I proclaim that I'm one too'' #''I declare that I am england. you declare that I have drowned'' #sounded to me like someone trying to get away and be alone but the other person not getting the hint #esp bc the narrator introduces themself as not wanting to be ''known as the creep'' #the part about getting a ride home with a drunk guy ''who showed me how to spin my head round and round'' #sounded like the driver helping them get their story straight/take their mind off it #and the narrator feels they came across as ungrateful about their advice in their shocked state #plus the way the instrumental between the verses and chorus changes from fuzzy and gritty to lighthearted brass #like it's catching you off-guard #but it's not about any of that it's about being high #anyway none of that is an example of a genuinely creepy flansburgh song but

[mitamicah]

This is random but Salena has my sticker and even wilder: she noticed me 😱

Sdgkljfsgjutfsvjtd

Context under the line

So back in October I went to käärijä Berlin gig giving out some Bojere stickers I made. Five of those went to Mikke (another story but I had sort of promised to give him some xD).

This was however also the same gig where Salena joined Jere on stage. I didnt meet her in person but had a blast seeing her perform with the boy 🥹💚

Fast forward three months later (here's to me feeling old 🫠) and Salena had an IG live performance yesterday. One friend in that live (hi Niini :3) noticed others speaking about a sticker and got curious: lo and behold Salena had decorated her laptop with the exact sticker I had given people at the Berlin gig 😳😱

My theory is that Mikke must have given one of his five stickers to Salena as a thank you for her coming. And now I have to live with the blessed knowledge that Salena has Bojere art I made on her laptop 😭

But that is not all - when I realised that yesterday I made a story about it and today I got a message that Salena has replied 😱:

This may not seem as huge news to most of you but to me this is wild 😭

I have just gotten used to never being noticed (JO boys seems to look anywhere but at my fanart and the same with Jere *I have had häärijä and Mikke react a few times and dont get me wrong i love that too yet since it was back in November I start to wonder if it was a fluke*) and then she does this 🥺 how am I supposed to react now without coming off as awkward or creepy :'D

#i want to repeat the last sentence here: #how am i supposed to act that doesnt come off as awkward or creepy #i am so excited yet for what #she commented on the sticker? #idk #maybe it is a good thing that jere or jo never see or share my art #i would be the biggest mess #at the same time i want to let her know i appreciate this #and not come off as rude or ungrateful #i already feel rude and ungrateful for not have häärijä and mikke noticing my art back in oct-nov be enough #it can feel so disencouraging seeing the boys share all fanart but yours yk #at the same time who am i to even expect that #i am just this small little presence on ig #i have no authority #i should just be happy with what little i get and not complain #so yeah that is my thoughts about the whole thing rn #excited #overjoyed #but also worried #and overthinking my worth #the life of an autistic mess i guess #micahs thoughts #teya and salena

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!' #hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭 #okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends' #then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

[strawbubbysugar]

Man I’m having such a hard time writing. When I was writing fanfic all the comments I’d get really kept me going (and the comments I get on my original work send me into orbit with how much I love them!!) but without that same influx of people showing interest I’m all in my head like is this not good enough? What if my ideas suck actually? And I keep gettin roadblocked by my own brain telling me that what I’m writing isn’t worth it q-p

#rant #I also get nervous about voicing my negative thoughts anywhere l #I’m so worried about someone thinking I’m ungrateful #how lucky am I to have even one person who enjoys my stuff and I’ve got dozens!! #but here I am complaining #:( #makes me feel ungrateful #even though every single person that sends an ask or writes a comment lives in my brain forwver and I am SO grateful #just wanted to vent a lil #bc I’m feeling a little wrung out rn

[ganondoodle]

i kept trying to draw anything, literally anything but i feel like the little package of skill i have build myself just fell and scattered across the floor, anytime i try to grab ahold of a piece of it it slips through my fingers like wet soap

on days like these i wish i had been smart enough to be anything else but a mediocre artist, but im not, im not even smart enough to be decent at the only thing i call myself to be able to do, im never going to be able to draw like i want to and i struggle to make peace with it

#ganondoodles talks #i hate hate hate feeling like this #this ... utterly helpless worthlessness #the world is shit and turnign shittier by the second and i cant even find refuge in the one thing i can do #i know i know dont trust what you are feeling after 9 pm bla bla #i have had ups an downs but this far i havent fallen in a long time #i am nothing without art #and i cant even do that #however much it doesnt matter anyway #i feel like i am mentally starving #i know this feeling will pass #but i still feel it right now #i feel like im being ungrateful towards the many people that have answered my previous post too bc i couldnt even do a single silly little- #-thing #i cant even put into words what it feels like #overstimulated brain explode egotistical feeling of worthlessness in a world that doesnt care about human life or creativity #meaningless #im going to bed and will be embarrassed about this when i wake up #but it still feels so very real right now #wasting time and tears

[llamagoddessofficial]

i'm sorry but the first thing that came to mind when error shook reader awake was that video with the guy who murdered the strangers in someone's house assuming they were the person's family and subsequently reprimanded them for leaving the door unlocked when they found out they weren't.

Error: i don't like h-h-how you keep bringing up irrelevant stuff, just to avoid thanking me for doing-g-g chores around the house.

Mc: You... broke in. I don't know you. How do you keep getting into my home?

Error: see? this is what i'm t-t-talking about

#llamagines #smh his girlfriend is so ungrateful #she keeps saying things like “im not your girlfriend” and “who are you” #women these days am i right #he feels very unappreciated in this relationship

[chrollohearttags]

“how can somebody so blessed wanna slit their wrist?” meg, sister I felt that one a lil tew strong.

#cherry chats 🍒 #rant in tags #I have to be a dumbass to keep my thoughts from intruding #when ur friends are finally checking in on you #and you don’t wanna tell them that you’ve tried to unalive 3 times this year #I be feeling so ungrateful bc I have an amazing family and an ideal job and I don’t want for anything #and good friends #but I also feel like I’m just so alone #I just feel like I’m existing atp not living or truly happy #and I don’t even know what I want anymore #thank goodness for writing and escapism I guess #cw depressive thoughts #cw depression #cw sui ideation