#i feel like people don't understand how emotions work????

[kinardscoffee]

Can we just talk about the fact that Buck has always gone above and beyond for everyone in his life?

And how having someone else be there for him is a huge fucking deal?

Buck has such a deep-seated fear of abandonment, and the show has made it so REAL, given his childhood, and i pray the writers put our boy back in therapy to address it. Clearly, the Buckley parents hardly showed affection towards Buck as a child, even to the extreme of cutting off an emotional connection to ultimately help them bury their grief over Daniel. And Buck could feel this. A tiny child who just wants to be loved "anyway" and has lived his entire life in fear that any future physical and emotional relationships he finds will always abandon him because it's literally all he knows.

Buck has always craved a connection to something. Whether it's with his sister, at jobs, with friends, with romantic partners... he approaches everything and everyone in his life like they're this brand new amazing piece of his charred. scattered puzzle.

And, still, everyone has either left him, made him feel like the problem or a burden, or told him he's not good enough.

And we know he values his family (both blood and found) above everything else around him.

But like, who does it for him?

I'm not saying the 118, Maddie, or past LIs haven't been there for him, but, at one point in time, they've all made him feel some type of way during their relationship with him. Whether it was completely accidental or not.

Yes, even Eddie, who called him exhausting and shut Buck out of his life when it came to the underground fighting. Even after Eddie left the 118 and was struggling with his PTSD. And I'm not saying Eddie is a dick for all that. He was having a bad time. I'm just saying he can't really understand Buck in that way.

And that's okay.

Eddie, along with everyone else in Buck's life, is there for him in their own special way that helps make Buck learn from past mistakes and become a better person.

But then he meets Tommy.

Someone who went above and beyond, putting both his job and his life on the line by flying Hen, Chim, Eddie and Buck out to search for a cruise ship in the middle of a hurricane.

And that has to impress the shit out of Buck. Which is why there is an immediate attraction and need to get to know this man. Buck feels drawn to him because maybe, just maybe, the pieces broken inside himself could ultimately match up to those within Tommy.

Buck can't stop thinking about Tommy because no one else he's ever dated has treated Buck with this amount of attention or makes him feel secure in the fact that his feelings matter.

And yeah, Tommy ended their first date early, and I know some people didn't appreciate that, but you also have to understand that Tommy has feelings too. We don't canonically know Tommy's story, but I'm confident he's broken inside by the same insecurities that Buck has.

So, Buck realizing that his actions on the date weren't right and deciding to put everything on the line to Tommy?

We aren't dealing with the same Buck from S6 who thought Natalia saw him because he died.

No.

Buck sees Evan. He sees himself and the life he's ready to live.

And finally, he's making himself a priority.

He's not basing this relationship on Tommy or what anyone else thinks. He's pursuing this relationship for himself and for the first time... it's his time.

And Tommy just keeps showing up for it.

He doesn't ridicule Buck on wanting to throw Chim a bachelor party that wasn't wanted. He stays as long as he can before getting called into work. And I'm willing to bet that the man didn't even eat anything because Buck said they had to wait for Chim.

And those looks!

The kicked puppy look that Buck gives Tommy says so much. There's a sadness that he failed at throwing a successful bachelor party, I mean, Chim didn't even show up. There's a sudden concern that the guy he likes is going to a fire that most likely is highly dangerous and large considering they called him in for it.

Tommy gives him a look that shows he understands all of the feelings that Buck is struggling with in that moment. And then he goes on to promise that he will try his best to make it to the wedding.

And you can tell that Buck doesn't believe that. Why would Tommy even consider coming back for Buck? Hell, maybe there wasn't even a fire. Maybe Tommy just created an easy out for an awkward situation.

But I like to believe that Tommy checked in with Buck periodically, and then when he found out that Chim was missing, his texts came in more frequently as his job would allow.

And im sure at one point, Buck told him that he didn't need to come. That he was off the hook because the wedding was at the hospital. No free food or chance of that dance.

Only, Tommy assures him he'll still be there.

And, holy shit, for the first time in Buck's life, someone has kept their word above all else.

Tommy shows up, dirty, exhausted, still in his uniform, hitching a ride on the firetruck or one of those ambulances parked outside, looking both concerned and apologetic.

But all Buck sees is the guy he's crazy about showing up all because Buck wanted him to.

And I just think that's really fucking huge.

#apparently im a rambler #hope it makes sense #if not oh wellz i guess #911 spoilers #911 abc #evan buckley #911 fandom #bucktommy #tommy kinard #911 speculation #i don't know what this is actually

[star-anise]

So, Easy Beauty by Chloé Cooper-Jones is not by any means a straightforward tale of the specific traumas and experiences of being a disabled woman. In many ways, it's an examination of how holding onto those traumas too tightly can keep you not just from positive chances for connection and experience, but understanding when your choices and behaviours are hurting other people.

But. It does talk about the trauma. And specifically, this splinter I've spent months now slowly drawing out of my soul, because this never happened to me except for the version of it that did happen to me. In her case, it was a conversation with a friend in high school:

I approached him in the library of our school. He was studying for a geometry test. He saw me, closed his notebook, and smiled. “I feel like,” he said, teasing me, “there might be something you want to talk to me about.” I told him yes, there was, and I said that I wanted to go to the homecoming dance with him and would he take me. “Of course,” he said. Relief flooded through me so quickly it turned my stomach. “But,” he continued, “there’s something very important I need to talk to you about first.” He proceeded to tell me that our female friends had been pressuring him for weeks to ask me to the dance, not wanting me to feel left out. “They love you,” he said, “but they pity you and their pity won't help you in the world.” I can, to this day, recall the exact even tone in his voice, his smile. He reached across the table and took my hand. “I want to tell you something as your friend,” he said. “I want to protect you. When you ask a man like me on a date, you put us in a bad position.” He was still smiling; I was having a cute delusion and was in need of his loving, if uncomfortable, correction. “It’s just the truth,” Jim said. “No man will want to date you unless he, too, is desperate or ugly.”

What I've felt, since I was very young, was this sense not just that no one would ever love me, but that I was so pitiful, so unlovable, such a complete failure of femininity, that expressing interest in another person was tantamount to forcing them to pity-fuck me. And how could I do something that horrible to them?

Well, at least in the years since then, I've learned that actually people feel no compunction about rejecting me!

I have almost always felt like such a complete failure at femininity, to the point that discussions about the female experience feel hypnotically surreal, because these things never happen to me. Y'all get catcalled and hit on? I'm struggling to dredge up memories of experiencing that firsthand. I grew up with grownups always warning me about men who'd want me for sex but didn't actually love me, and now I'm like... being wanted for sex? What's that like? I have literally ten seconds of experience of my desire for someone else being something that excited and interested them.

This is my own personal neurosis, not a prescription for widespread behaviour. But I've always kind of hated when people talk about slowburn romances and stories with pining as "two idiots in love" because on a visceral level, it doesn't feel stupid to me to believe you're repulsive and nobody will ever want you. It has always felt like the natural and obvious conclusion to enter adulthood with.

Up until two weeks ago I've always been very careful to describe my feelings about my body as part of me being crazy--I hate the way I look, I don't like seeing or hearing recordings of myself, I think I'm not pretty. Because obviously that means I'm actively working to rid myself of those emotions and attitudes! I've got it handled! I've admitted that I have a problem!

And that's because I always had it locked away in my heart that if I tried to make a factual claim about being ugly, people would say "No you're not!" just to make me feel better, and then I would never ever know if anyone who found me attractive really meant it, or if they were just doing it out of pity.

That is crazy. That's holding onto the lesson of that fucking shitbag who found Chloé attractive and fuckable two months fucking later once he got over himself. That's sitting around waiting for someone to come climb up into my unfuckable tower and do all the work of establishing a relationship themselves. That's lesbian sheep behaviour.

It's only just begun to feel possible that I could begin to take steps to seek people out and express interest in them, instead of holding perfectly still and making someone else do all the heavy lifting to get to me, when I haven't even made it known I wanted them to.

But this doesn't get talked about as part of "the female experience". When men talk about women's experiences in the dating market, they absolutely never mean women like me. Why bother with the experiences of women they wouldn't want to fuck anyway? It's not like we're people or some shit like that.

#staranise original #body image tw #ableism tw #feminist discourse #easy beauty #chloé cooper jones

[brucewaynehater101]

I know there’s a bunch of stuff about Bruce being oblivious about Tim being his parent. I want to see the moment of dawning realization. (This might have been addressed.) I don’t know if it’s a slip of the tongue where he calls Tim “Dad” or someone in the know casually asking Bruce about his parent (referring to Tim and maybe even Bruce answering without thinking about it and then realizing what he said). I want to know if Bruce freaks and tries to establish himself as the parent, only for it to backfire horribly, or if he makes a family tree and stares at it until he starts to have those optical illusions behind his eyes that you get when you look at things too long.

In the Tim is Bruce's parent AU, there is a semi-established point where Bruce finds out. It's after the BruceQuest. I'll go more in depth below, but I wanted to acknowledge that I'm totally chill if people utilize any of the ideas for their own fanwork (and thus have a different "discovery" method). Feel free to write or draw about whatever scenario inspires you most.

Anyways, the semi-established one already cooked up occurs because Tim has a famous reddit account. From years of receiving and then finally giving advice to other parents, he's established himself on a few parenting threads. His account has become something of a legend, especially for his advice with superpowered kids. He hasn't asked for advice for a few years and mainly just helps other parents out. From his past requests and his more recent advice giving, everyone knows that the kid he is raising is quite the handful. The kid sneaks out, gets hurt often, doesn't sleep, doesn't eat, destroys things when mad, screams, pushes away others, and isolates. The legend account states that they adopted their kid and, after establishing rules and open communication, have been doing much better with the extremely traumatized child.

Bruce, who's returned from the timestream and realized how important family is (and how much of a lacking dad he's been), goes to reddit for advice. He finds this really famous account with an extremely traumatized kid and realizes a lot of the advice (and perspective of where the kid is coming from) is helpful to Bruce's relationship with his own kids. Tim and Bruce befriend each other unknowingly until Bruce asks for advice that is pretty similar to Tim's siblings.

Tim suggests Bruce implement specific advice to deduce that Bruce is the account he's befriended.

Tim has a mental breakdown for a bit cause of that.

Bruce notices that his online friend is being distant and becomes a bit sad. He's suspicious, but he's trying to respect boundaries now. Besides, this account is at least five years old (Tim is eighteen now and started when he was thirteen).

I don't have quite the method of discovery set, but Bruce finds out both that it's Tim's account and that the "kid" is actually Bruce (although feel free to add misunderstanding shenanigans and angst where Bruce thinks Tim's been hiding his kid from him for that long).

Bruce, understandably, does not take this well. A child should not parent an adult. The fact that Tim did is a failing on Bruce's part. Bruce tries to correct this by suddenly being a parent to Tim (and ignoring some of the advice/habits Bruce has picked up from Tim). This is frustrating for both parties. Tim is an adult and has always been allergic to parenting/authority. He would rather have a fake uncle than a parent who tells him what to do (I know this isn't the actual reason for the fake uncle). Bruce doesn't know how to parent a child like Tim either.

Suffice to say, their relationship falls to part for a bit while they both try to work through the new dynamics and emotions. Tim is trying really hard to let Bruce be a parent to Tim, but it's just not their relationship. Tim has always been the parent. It feels condescending, belittling, and restrictive.

The entire time Bruce is trying to change their dynamics, he's getting the sense that Tim is only letting him do this in the way that a father let's their kid make mistakes or decisions so that they learn a lesson or practice. It doesn't feel genuine.

Eventually, they manage to figure out the new limits of their relationship and new boundaries. Bruce will always be Tim's child, but Bruce doesn't have to acknowledge Tim as his dad. He never did before.

But, yes. Bruce does spend many days after the realization blankly staring in space as his entire worldview shifts, and he goes over every interaction he's ever had with Tim

#dc comics #tim drake #dc universe #bruce wayne #dc au #the parentification of tim drake

[kckt88]

Here With Me I

Summary:

After the disaster that was his last relationship, Aemond is convinced that he'll never find love-until he meets his new neighbour.

Warning(s): Slight Angst, Slight Drama, Flirting, Kissing, Aegon Being a Twat, Smut, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex - F Recieving, Multiple Orgasms, P in V sex,

AEMOND TARGARYEN x O.C BILLIE SKYLARK

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

Word Count: 6,000

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon or Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are very much appreciated.

As Aemond Targaryen walked towards his apartment building, his mind swirled with the day's lectures and the huge stack of papers waiting to be graded. Lost in his own mind he rounded the corner and nearly collided with someone standing just outside the entrance.

"Oops, sorry about that," Aemond said quickly, catching himself before bumping into the person.

"No worries" came the gentle reply, accompanied by the soft tap-tap of a cane.

Aemond's gaze shifted downward, noticing the guide dog sitting calmly beside the person. "Ah, you must be my new neighbour," he surmised.

"Yes, that's right," she confirmed with a smile. "I'm Wilhelmina Skylark, but my friends call me Billie. And this here-" she gestured to the dog beside her, "-Is Darcie."

"A pleasure to meet you, Billie and Darcie-" Aemond replied warmly. "I'm Aemond Targaryen."

Billie chuckled softly. "Targaryen, huh? That sounds like it's straight out of a history book."

Aemond nodded, a hint of pride in his voice. "Funny you should say that. I actually teach history over at the university."

"That must be interesting-" Billie remarked. "-I've always been fascinated by history, what came before and how we’ve evolved over time”.

Aemond found himself intrigued. "Well, perhaps I could share some of my expertise sometime" he offered.

Billie's smile widened. "I'd like that."

As they chatted, Aemond couldn't help but notice the grace and resilience with which Billie navigated her world.

“So, Wilhelmina-“

“-Gods I hate my first name” chuckled Billie, as she reached up to adjust the sunglasses on her face.

"Why don't you like your first name?" Aemond asked, curiously.

Billie hesitated for a moment before answering. "It just never felt like me, you know? Wilhelmina sounds so formal. But Billie, well, that feels more like my style”.

Aemond nodded understandingly. "I see what you mean. But I must say, both names suit you perfectly."

Billie laughed softly. "You're too kind, Aemond."

"So, Billie," Aemond began, curiosity lacing his words, "What do you do for a living?"

Billie chuckled softly, a hint of mischief in her tone. "Well, prepare yourself for something a bit unexpected. I'm a perfume designer."

"A perfume designer?" Aemond echoed, surprise evident in his voice. "That's fascinating! How did you get into that?"

Billie's smile was radiant. "It's a bit of a long story, but let's just say I've always had a keen sense of smell. Even though I can't see the world around me, I've always found beauty in the scents that surround us."

Aemond listened intently, intrigued by Billie's unique perspective on the world. "That's truly remarkable. I imagine your work must be quite intricate, crafting fragrances that evoke certain emotions or memories."

Billie nodded; her expression thoughtful. "Exactly. Perfume has a way of capturing moments in time, transporting people to different places. It's a form of art that I'm deeply passionate about."

Aemond couldn't help but be drawn in by Billie's passion and creativity. "It sounds like you have an incredible talent," he remarked, admiration colouring his words.

Billie's cheeks flushed slightly at the compliment. "Thank you, Aemond. It's not often that people understand what I do, let alone appreciate it."

"Well, count me among those who do," Aemond replied sincerely. "I'd love to hear more about your work sometime, if you're willing to share."

Billie's smile widened, her excitement palpable. "I'd like that very much."

"Would you like me to escort you to your apartment?" Aemond asked, his voice gentle and genuine.

Billie chuckled softly; her smile evident even in her voice. "Thank you, Aemond, but I can manage just fine. Darcie here knows the way”.

Aemond felt a pang of embarrassment at his presumption, quickly realizing his misstep. "I'm sorry, Billie, I didn't mean to imply that you needed help. It's just-a habit, I suppose."

Billie's laughter was warm and understanding. "No need to apologize, Aemond. I appreciate the offer, truly."

Relief washed over Aemond as he realized Billie harboured no ill feelings towards him. "Thank you for being so gracious about it," he said sincerely.

"It's nothing," Billie replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Besides, it's nice to know there are still gentlemen like you around."

Aemond couldn't help but smile at the compliment. "Well, if you ever do need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

Billie's smile widened. "I'll keep that in mind, good day Aemond."

"Good day, Billie," Aemond echoed, watching as she and Darcie made their way towards the elevator. As he turned to head to his own apartment, he couldn't shake the feeling of warmth that lingered from their encounter.

In the days that followed their initial encounter, Aemond and Billie found themselves gravitating towards each other more and more. What started as casual conversations in the hallway soon blossomed into deep, meaningful discussions over cups of coffee and leisurely walks through the neighbourhood.

As their friendship grew, Aemond couldn't help but be captivated by Billie's resilience and zest for life. Despite the challenges she faced as a blind woman, she approached each day with unwavering optimism and grace, inspiring Aemond in ways he never thought possible.

One evening, as they sat in Aemond's living room, savouring the warmth of a crackling fire, Aemond's aging Maine Coone cat, Vhagar, made her entrance. Known for her disdain for most people, Vhagar typically kept her distance from strangers.

To Aemond's surprise, Vhagar didn't shy away from Billie. Instead, she sauntered over to her, nuzzling against her leg with a contented purr.

"Well, I'll be damned," Aemond muttered in disbelief. "Vhagar doesn't usually take to people like this."

Billie laughed softly, her fingers gently stroking the cat's fur. "Maybe she senses a kindred spirit in me."

Aemond couldn't argue with that logic. It seemed that Billie had a way of melting even the iciest of hearts.

As the days turned into weeks, Aemond and Billie discovered that they had more in common than they initially realized. From their shared love of literature and movies to their mutual fascination with history.

Before long, Aemond found himself confiding in Billie in ways he never thought possible, sharing his hopes, dreams, and fears without reservation. In turn, Billie opened up to him, offering glimpses into her world that few were privileged to see.

One quiet evening, as they sat together in Aemond's living room, the topic of conversation took a more sombre turn. Aemond had always been curious about Billie's blindness, but he had hesitated to broach the subject, fearing that he might unintentionally cause her pain.

"Billie," Aemond began tentatively, his voice soft, "if you don't mind me asking, how did you- become blind?"

Billie's expression softened, a hint of sadness flickering in her eyes. "I was born blind" she replied gently. "I've never known what it's like to see."

Aemond felt a pang of guilt wash over him at his presumptuous question. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry," he apologized earnestly.

Billie reached out and placed a comforting hand on his arm. "It's alright, Aemond. I understand your curiosity. It's only natural."

Embarrassment coloured Aemond's cheeks as he struggled to find the right words. "Thank you for being so understanding," he murmured.

Billie offered him a reassuring smile before the silence between them grew comfortable once more. Sensing an opportunity for honesty, Aemond decided to share a part of himself with Billie that he had kept hidden for so long.

"You know, Billie," Aemond began slowly, his voice tinged with vulnerability, "I'm not without my own- affliction."

Billie's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean, Aemond?"

Taking a deep breath, Aemond recounted the painful memory that had haunted him since childhood. "When I was just a boy, my nephew and I got into a fight," he explained, his gaze fixed on a distant point in the room. "It was foolish, really. But in the heat of the moment, he-he struck me, and I lost my left eye as a result."

Billie's eyes widened in shock, her hand flying to her mouth in disbelief. "Oh, Aemond, I had no idea-"

Aemond shook his head, a sad smile playing at his lips. "It's not something I often talk about. But I feel like I can tell you anything”.

“I’ll always listen” replied Billie softly.

"Billie," Aemond began hesitantly, his voice tinged with a mixture of nostalgia and regret, "There's something else I need to tell you about-someone from my past."

Billie listened intently, her expression soft and compassionate.

"Alys Rivers," Aemond continued, the name heavy on his tongue. "She was-she was my first love".

Billie's brow furrowed in curiosity. "It’s ok take your time-"

Aemond took a deep breath, steeling himself for the memories that threatened to engulf him. "Alys was much older than me," he explained. "She had a way about her, a confidence that drew me in. She made me feel special, like I was more than just the broken reflection I saw in the mirror."

Billie reached out and squeezed his hand in silent support, urging him to continue.

"I hated my reflection for years," Aemond admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "The scar, the missing eye-they were constant reminders of the boy I used to be, before everything changed."

"But Alys," he continued, a hint of longing in his voice, she made me forget all of that, if only for a little while. I lost my virginity to her, and for a time, I thought I loved her."

"But-" he continued, his voice strained with emotion, "-Alys eventually showed her true colours. She-she kept cheating on me and she would say things-hurtful things."

Billie's eyes widened in shock, her hand flying to her mouth in disbelief.

"What did she say?" she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Aemond closed his eye, the words tasting bitter on his tongue. "She called me ugly," he confessed, his voice barely a whisper. "She said I was worthless, that no one would ever love me with a face like mine."

Billie's heart clenched at the cruelty of Alys's words, the pain in Aemond's voice palpable.

"Oh, Aemond," she murmured, her voice thick with sympathy, "I can't imagine how much that must have hurt."

Aemond shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "It did," he admitted, his voice raw with emotion. "For years, I believed her. I let her words define me, shape me into someone I wasn't."

"But not anymore," Billie interjected firmly, her gaze unwavering. "You're not defined by your scars, Aemond. You're so much more than that”.

“Billie-“ whispered Aemond.

"Aemond," she began softly, her voice tinged with sadness, "Navigating a life without sight-it hasn't been easy."

Aemond listened intently, his gaze fixed on Billie as she spoke.

"But-" she continued, a note of determination creeping into her voice, "through touch, I've learned to experience so many things. The texture of a book's pages, the warmth of the sun on my skin, the gentle caress of a breeze."

Aemond felt a lump form in his throat as he realized the depth of Billie's resilience, the quiet strength that had carried her through the darkest of days.

"Billie," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion, "You're truly remarkable."

Billie smiled softly, gratitude shining in her eyes. "Thank you, Aemond. But there's something I want to ask you-"

Aemond cocked his head in curiosity, inviting her to continue.

"May I-may I touch you, Aemond?" she asked softly, her voice tinged with vulnerability.

Aemond's heart swelled with tenderness at Billie's request, the depth of her trust in him echoing in the space between them.

"Of course, Billie," he replied, his voice filled with warmth.

Billie reached forward, her fingertips delicately tracing the contours of his face, Aemond closed his eye, a mixture of apprehension and curiosity coursing through him. He felt her hands cupping his cheeks gently, her touch both tentative and assured as she explored his features with a gentle reverence.

With practiced precision, Billie's fingers moved over the sharp lines of his jaw, the smooth curve of his lips, and the slight indentation of his scar.

She felt the slight pressure of the eyepatch he wore, and a curious thought crossed her mind.

"Aemond," she whispered softly, her voice barely above a breath, "May I-may I take this off?"

Aemond hesitated for a moment before nodding silently, his heart racing with anticipation.

Then, with a careful motion, she reached up and removed the eyepatch that concealed his missing eye, her touch feather light as she grazed the skin around the scar.

Aemond's breath caught in his throat at her touch, a surge of vulnerability washing over him.

"You're so beautiful" Billie declared softly as her fingers threaded through his long silver hair.

Aemond took a deep breath as he felt a tear escape his eye.

"Billie," he began, his voice barely above a whisper, "Can I kiss you?"

Billie's breath caught in her throat at Aemond's request, her heart racing with a mixture of excitement and uncertainty.

"Yes," she whispered softly, her voice barely audible in the hushed silence of the room.

With a tender reverence, Aemond leaned forward, closing the distance between them with aching slowness. Their lips met in a gentle caress, a soft sigh escaping them both as they melted into each other's embrace.

"Billie," he began, his voice tinged with a hint of shyness, "There's something I've been wanting to ask you-"

Billie's gaze softened, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips as she waited patiently for Aemond to continue.

"Would you like to be my girlfriend?" Aemond blurted out, the words tumbling from his lips in a rush of emotion.

Billie's eyes widened in surprise, her heart skipping a beat at Aemond's unexpected confession.

"Yes," she replied softly, her voice filled with warmth and affection. "I would love to be your girlfriend."

A wave of relief washed over Aemond as he heard Billie's answer, a radiant smile spreading across his face as he reached out to take her hand in his.

"Are you sure they'll like me?" Billie whispered; her voice tinged with uncertainty.

Aemond squeezed her hand reassuringly, a small smile playing at his lips. "They'll love you; I promise."

As they stepped into the grand foyer of the Targaryen estate, Aemond's family gathered to greet them—a warm, welcoming sight that eased the tension in his shoulders.

"Mother, brothers, sister, grandfather," Aemond greeted them each in turn, his voice tinged with pride.

Alicent Hightower, regal and elegant as ever, enveloped Aemond in a tight embrace, her eyes shining with motherly pride. "Aemond, dear, it's so good to see you. And who is this lovely young lady you've brought with you?"

"This is Billie," Aemond introduced, a hint of nervousness creeping into his voice. "My-girlfriend."

Aegon, couldn't resist a sly comment. "Well, well, it's about time, brother. I was beginning to think you'd never find a girlfriend."

Aemond flushed slightly at his brother's teasing, but Billie merely smiled graciously, unfazed by Aegon's jest.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Billie," said Daeron kindly.

Helaena nodded in agreement. "Yes, welcome to the family."

"Aemond has spoken highly of you, my dear. It's a pleasure to finally meet you” said Otto.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you sir” replied Billie softly.

“What’s the stick for?” asked Aegon.

“It helps me to navigate unfamiliar places-I’m blind” replied Billie.

"Blind?" Aegon remarked with a smirk, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Well, Aemond, looks like you finally found the perfect girl—no need to worry about her being put off by that nasty scar of yours, eh?"

Aemond's heart sank at his brother's callous remark, his eye widening in shock as he felt the blood drain from his face. Beside him, Billie stiffened, her jaw clenched in anger.

Before Aemond could even muster a response, Billie's voice cut through the tense silence like a knife.

"How dare you," spat Billie, her eyes flashing with fury. Aegon's smirk faltered, taken aback by Billie's sudden outburst.

"I will not stand here and listen to you belittle him," Billie continued, her voice trembling with righteous indignation. "Aemond is one of the most courageous, kind-hearted individuals I've ever met-“

“-Aemond-courageous?” quipped Aegon sarcastically.

With a swift, decisive motion, Billie's hand lashed out, the sound of her palm meeting Aegon's cheek echoing in the stunned silence of the room.

Aegon stumbled backward, his hand flying to his reddened cheek in disbelief.

Aegon stood there, stunned, as he gingerly touched his reddened cheek, disbelief etched on his face. "I-I can't believe you actually managed to land a slap on me," he stammered, his voice tinged with both surprise and begrudging respect.

Billie stood tall; her chin held high, unapologetic for her actions. "Just because I can't see doesn't mean I'm defenceless," she replied coolly. "Besides, your repulsive odour is enough for me to know exactly where you are."

Aegon's eyebrows shot up in offense, his pride wounded by Billie's blunt assessment. "Hey now, I'll have you know that I always smell just fine," he retorted, a hint of defensiveness creeping into his voice.

Billie couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Oh, please," she scoffed. "I could smell your rank arse from across the room."

Aegon's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, his retort dying on his lips as he struggled to come up with a response.

Billie, however, wasn't finished. "And let's not forget the woman you were obviously with earlier," she continued, her tone cutting. "Surely you could have taken a shower before coming here."

Aemond couldn't hold back his laughter at Billie's boldness, the sound echoing in the room like a peal of thunder.

Aegon's expression darkened, his pride wounded by Billie's blunt honesty. "Well, I never," he muttered, his voice tinged with indignation.

But Billie merely shrugged, unapologetic for her words. "Just speaking the truth," she replied simply, her voice filled with a quiet confidence.

“So, what does Billie do for a living?” asked Alicent.

"Billie designs her own perfumes. She has an incredible sense of smell and a talent for creating unique fragrances."

Alicent's eyes lit up with intrigue. "Is that so?" she exclaimed, turning her attention to Billie. "Tell me, my dear, what perfumes have you released so far?"

Billie smiled warmly; her enthusiasm evident as she spoke. "Well, there's Lavender Luxe," she began, her voice soft and melodic. "It's more of a body mist, but it's infused with lavender essential oil, which helps people relax and unwind after a long day."

Alicent nodded in approval, impressed by Billie's ingenuity. "That sounds lovely," she remarked.

Billie's smile widened as she continued. "And then there's Radiant Rose," she added. "It's a delicate blend of rose petals and citrus, reminiscent of a spring day when the roses are in bloom."

Alicent's eyes sparkled with recognition. "That's the perfume I use," she exclaimed, a smile spreading across her face. "It's simply divine."

Billie's cheeks flushed with pleasure at Alicent's compliment, her heart swelling with pride. "Thank you," she replied graciously, her voice filled with genuine gratitude.

"Do you have any more perfume ideas on the horizon, my dear?" she inquired, her voice filled with genuine interest.

Billie's smile widened, a glint of excitement dancing in her eyes. "Actually, I do," she replied, her voice tinged with enthusiasm. "I've been working on a new fragrance—one that's very special to me."

“That sounds interesting-“ said Helaena brightly.

"It’s in honour of Aemond," replied Billie, her voice soft but resolute, "I've been designing a perfume that captures the essence of his spirit."

A hush fell over the room as Billie's words sank in, the weight of her revelation hanging heavy in the air.

Aemond's heart swelled with emotion as he processed what Billie had just said. Her gesture filled him with a sense of awe and gratitude.

"You're designing a perfume in honour of me?" Aemond stammered, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes, Aemond," she replied, her voice filled with conviction. "Because you inspire me, in ways that words can't even begin to describe."

Aemond's heart overflowed with emotion at Billie's words, his eye misting over with tears of gratitude.

"At least Billie has her own money then, not like some of the usual trollops that hover around us" Aegon quipped, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

Aemond's jaw clenched with barely concealed anger, his fists tightening at his sides as he struggled to contain his rising fury.

"How dare you," spat Billie, her voice trembling with barely suppressed rage. "You have no right to make such assumptions about me."

Aegon scoffed dismissively, his arrogance palpable. "Oh, please," he retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Isn't that all anyone ever wants Aemond for? His name, his money-"

Billie's fists clenched at her sides, her nails digging into her palms as she fought to keep her composure. "That's not why I'm interested in Aemond," she shot back, her voice laced with steel. "I couldn't care less about his wealth or his status. I love him for who he is, scars and all."

Aegon's smirk faltered, taken aback by Billie's fierce defence of Aemond.

But before he could respond, Billie turned on her heel, her eyes blazing with fury as she stormed out of the room, her footsteps echoing in the tense silence that followed.

But then Aegon's laughter echoed through the room as Billie's departure was punctuated by the sound of a crashing vase, her inadvertent mishap drawing unwanted attention.

"Great one you've brought home there, brother," Aegon quipped, his voice laced with mockery. "Does she need you to hold her hand as she crosses the street?"

With a roar of anger, Aemond launched himself at Aegon, his fist connecting with his brothers face.

The room erupted into chaos as Aemond and Aegon grappled with each other, their shouts and curses filling the air.

"I fucking hate you" Aemond declared, his voice thick with emotion, each word laced with venom, as he punched Aegon in the nose.

"Why?" demanded Aegon, his voice tinged with both confusion and defiance. "Because I speak the truth? Because I refuse to coddle you like everyone else?"

“That’s enough-“ screeched Alicent.

Aemond shook his head, his fists clenching at his sides as he fought to contain the torrent of emotions raging within him.

"No," he replied hoarsely, his voice barely above a whisper. "Because you always have to cause trouble. You always have to ruin everything"

The words hung heavy in the air, a stark reminder of the rift that had always existed between them—a divide born of jealousy, resentment, and betrayal.

With a heavy heart, Aemond pushed Aegon away from him and stormed out of the room, ignoring his mothers concerned calls or the sound of his grandfather berating Aegon for his rude behaviour.

Aemond's steps quickened as he approached his car, his heart heavy with worry for Billie, who stood by his car, her shoulders slumped.

But as he drew closer, he saw her quickly wipe away a tear, a futile attempt to conceal her distress. His heart broke at the sight, the pain in her eyes mirrored his own.

"Billie," he called softly, his voice filled with concern.

"Aemond-" she murmured, her voice trailing off as she struggled to find the words.

Before she could say anything else, Aemond closed the distance between them in a few swift strides, his arms enveloping her in a tight embrace.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I'm sorry for my brother's cruelty”

Billie leaned into his embrace, her tears flowing freely now as she buried her face in his chest, seeking solace in his warmth.

"It's not your fault," she murmured, her voice muffled against his shirt. "You don't have to apologize for him."

But Aemond shook his head, his grip on her tightening. "I won't let anyone hurt you, Billie," he vowed, his voice fierce with determination. "Not now, not ever."

With Billie still held close in his arms, Aemond gently pulled back, his hands framing her face as he looked deeply into her eyes, his own shimmering with emotion.

"Billie," he began, his voice soft but filled with conviction, "You are the most amazing person I have ever met."

Billie's breath caught in her throat at his words, her heart swelling with a mixture of surprise and tenderness.

"So smart, so fierce and determined," Aemond continued, his voice tinged with awe. "You've faced challenges that would break most people, and yet you've emerged stronger than ever."

Billie's eyes glistened with unshed tears as she listened to Aemond's heartfelt words, his love washing over her like a warm embrace.

"I love you," Aemond whispered, his voice barely above a whisper but filled with a depth of feeling that resonated deep within her soul.

Tears spilled down Billie's cheeks as she threw her arms around Aemond once more, holding him tightly as if afraid to let go.

"I love you too," she whispered back, her voice trembling with emotion. "More than you'll ever know."

"Shall we go home?”

“Yes” nodded Billie.

“You can drive-“ replied Aemond.

Billie's eyes widened in surprise at Aemond's unexpected suggestion, but then a smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she realized the absurdity of his joke.

"-Aemond, you know I can't drive," replied Bille with a chuckle.

Aemond joined in her laughter, the tension of the earlier encounter melting away in the warmth of their shared amusement.

"You caught me," admitted Aemond with a grin.

Billie nodded, her laughter subsiding into a soft smile as she gazed up at him with affection. "Thank you for trying to lighten the mood," she said, her gratitude evident in her eyes.

Aemond squeezed her hand gently, his heart swelling with love for the woman beside him. "Anything for you, my dear," he replied, his voice filled with warmth.

"Would you like to stay over, Aemond?" Billie asked softly, her voice filled with warmth and invitation.

Aemond's heart skipped a beat at her words, his gaze meeting hers with a mixture of longing and affection. "Yes, I'd like that," he replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Inside the cozy confines of Billie's flat, they kicked off their shoes and settled onto the couch, the soft glow of the TV casting flickering shadows across the room as Aemond scrolled through the selection of films.

He decided on one of Billie’s favourite films-Jaws.

“I like the music-it’s builds up the tension” said Billie as she snuggled closer to Aemond.

“Me too-“ replied Aemond as he reached for his phone and ordered a pizza.

“Not a fan of the sequels though” whispered Billie as she listened to the dialogue of the film.

“I guess number two wasn’t that bad-but the rest were total shit”.

“There is another shark film I like-Deep Blue Sea” said Billie thoughtfully.

“-Is that the one where they do experiments on the sharks, and they get smarter or something?” asked Aemond curiously.

“Yes, it’s really good. I also like Lake Placid as well” admitted Billie.

“You know I’m starting to see a pattern here-you certainly like your creature feature movies”.

“Yes, I do-I also like disaster movies as well, one of my all-time favourites is the 1970’s Poseidon Adventure-“ said Billie smiling.

“Is the one with the guy who played Grandpa Joe in Willy Wonka?” asked Aemond.

“Yes, it is-another favourite film of mine, I know all the songs word for word”.

“You know I always thought he was a bit of a shifty character-spends most of his life in bed having whoever it was running around after him and then his grandson finds the golden ticket and miraculously, he can walk-“ mused Aemond tapping his chin thoughtfully.

“I mean you do have a point”.

“-And what about that woman in that Tom Hanks film-Forest Gump, she was the true villain of that piece. Only wanted to get involved with him once he had money, then she bogged off and had child-and only introduced him to the child because she was dying-who’s to say the kid was even his-telling you she was an evil master mind” said Aemond.

“How have we gone from Jaws to Forest Gump?” laughed Billie.

“I haven’t got a clue-“ exclaimed Aemond.

“Ooh that will be the pizza-“ said Billie as the doorbell rang.

“Thank god-I’m starving” muttered Aemond as he jumped up from the sofa.

Billie sighed in contentment as she listened to Aemond open the door and cheerfully accept the pizza.

“Thank you-have a nice night” said Aemond as he shut the door. The smell of pepperoni wafting through the apartment.

“Someone seems happy-“ exclaimed Billie.

“Why wouldn’t I be-I’ve got my girl next to me and pepperoni pizza. What more could I ask for?”

“Cheesy chips?” quipped Billie.

“Ooo yes those too-” cheered Aemond as he ripped open a styrofoam box.

“Garlic sauce-“ mused Billie.

“Of course,” replied Aemond as he dipped his finger in the sauce and swiped his finger across Billie’s cheek.

“Hey-“ exclaimed Billie.

“My bad-let me get that for you” said Aemond as he leaned forward and ran his tongue over Billie’s cheek.

“Aemond-“ squeaked Billie.

“Hmmm-delicious” growled Aemond.

Billie giggled as she picked up a slice of pizza and picked off the pepperoni slices before offering them to Darcie.

“I thought you liked pepperoni?”

“I do-but so does Darcie” replied Billie as she took a handful of chips.

After they had finished eating and cleaned away the rubbish, Aemond and Billie settled back down to watch another movie-but part way through Billie had other ideas and she began pressing gentle kisses to Aemond’s neck.

“Hmmm- that feels nice” growled Aemond as he reached over and pulled Billie into his lap.

“I love you so much-“ whispered Aemond.

“-I love you too” replied Billie.

“I want to make love to you” whispered Aemond.

“I-I’ve never done it before” muttered Billie shyly as she pressed her face into Aemond’s chest.

“Oh-“

“I was waiting until I found someone special-” said Billie.

“T-That’s fine-we don’t need to do this-” replied Aemond stroking her hair softly.

“Aemond -your that special someone. I want you to be my first” whispered Billie.

“Only if you’re sure, I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything” said Aemond firmly.

“I’m sure Aemond. I want this-I want you” exclaimed Billie as she took his hand and led him to her bedroom.

Despite his experience, Aemond had never so nervous in his entire life, his hands shook as he slowly undressed himself.

Billie gently tugged off the p.js she was wearing and Aemond could feel his mouth watering at the sight of her delectable body.

“I-I don’t know what to do” muttered Billie her cheeks tinged pink.

“It’s ok-I’ll take care of you” replied Aemond as he directed Billie to sit on the end if the bed.

“I trust you” replied Billie quietly.

Aemond smiled as he knelt on the floor, lowering his head between Billie’s legs.

“I’m going to kiss you down there-is that ok?”

“Y-Yes” stammered Billie.

“Hmmm”

“Aemond-“ shrieked Billie her eyes rolling into the back of her head as Aemond’s tongue swept across her slick wet folds.

Billie bit the back of her hand to keep herself from screaming as Aemond began using his long fingers to tease her entrance.

“Let me hear you”.

“A-Aemond. Oh god. Please” begged Billie

Aemond slowly pressed two fingers inside Billie, moving them against a spot that made her entire body shake, his tongue moving against her folds, his lips wrapping around her pearl.

“I know your almost there. Let it happen my sweet. Come for me” whispered Aemond.

Billie arched her back and let out a scream as her pleasure erupted.

Aemond crawled up Billie’s body, placing gentle kisses on her skin as he moved higher and higher.

“Calm yourself my little bird” murmured Aemond.

“I-I’ve never-” mumbled Billie moving her hands over her face in embarrassment.

“Was that your first peak?” asked Aemond as he gently pulled away her hands and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

Bille blushed and nodded quickly, jumping when she felt Aemond’s cock against her.

Aemond then began to place a series of kisses along Billie’s neck, his hand gently cupping her breast before he sucked the rosy bud into his mouth, his tongue rolling around the stiffened peak.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go slow” whispered Aemond as he reached down and took hold of his hard cock rubbing it along Billie’s warm wet folds.

“Ok-I’m ready”

“I-don’t have a condom” whispered Aemond.

“I-I-want to feel you. If that’s ok?”

“Yes-I want to feel you too“ whispered Aemond.

“So beautiful-my Aemond” whispered Billie as she ran her hands over Aemond’s face and placed a kiss upon his scar.

“A-Are you sure you want to do this?” asked Aemond, his cock sliding through Billie’s folds.

“Y-Yes. Please. Aemond Make love to me” replied Billie softly as she opens her legs wider.

“Ok. Take a deep breath-” said Aemond as he slowly pushes the blunt head of his cock inside.

Just the tip felt okay but then he was pushing further inside, and it stung, Billie clenched her eyes shut as his cock fully slid into her, his hips coming to rest against hers.

“Are you ok?” asked Aemond.

“It hurts,” cried Billie a tear slipping down her cheek.

“Do you want me to stop-I can pull out” whispered Aemond his voice laced with concern.

“N-No g-give me a moment” whimpered Billie.

Aemond stops, holding himself still, his hard cock throbbing inside her.

After a few minutes, Aemond begins to press gentle kisses all over Billies face and neck, making her sigh.

“I-I think you can move now” whispered Bille gently moves her hips.

Aemond exhales shakily, pulling out halfway only to thrust right back in.

“You’re taking me so well little bird,” whispers Aemond soothingly, thrusting again, harder this time.

Gradually he gets into a rhythm, his movements slow but powerful.

Billie brings her hands up to his shoulders, clinging to him as his thrusts shift her up and down the bed.

Aemond made a strangled sort of sound and lowered himself onto Billie even more, kissing her passionately.

His cock is still thrusting in and out. Billie kisses him back, threading her fingers through his long silky hair.

Aemond breaks the kiss, breathing heavily.

Billie can feel herself clenching around him as his cock keeps hitting the same spot inside her.

“Ooo Aemond-f-faster. P-please”

Aemond groans as he begins to move faster pounding into her, their skin slapping together.

“Aemond -my Aemond”

“You’re so fucking perfect little bird, mine all mine” growls Aemond.

“Y-Yes, yours all yours” moans Billie squirming as her pleasure peaks and she explodes.

Aemond lets out a long low groan, his hips bucking wildly. His cock twitching as he spills his seed inside her.

Aemond’s hips finally stagger and stop. His face buried in the crook of her neck.

“Are you ok?” asked Aemond, his hot breath tickling her skin.

“I’m fine-I’m glad I waited for you” whispered Billie smiling breathlessly.

Aemond's heart raced with anticipation as he carefully examined the assortment of engagement rings on display in the jeweller’s shop. Each one sparkled and shimmered under the soft glow of the overhead lights.

After much deliberation, he finally settled on a simple yet elegant diamond ring, its brilliance reflecting the depth of his feelings for her—a symbol of their love and commitment.

With the ring safely tucked away in his pocket, Aemond made his way back to his apartment, his heart light with excitement at the thought of proposing to Billie, they had been together almost a year now and Aemond couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with her, shortly after their first time being intimate with one another, Aemond had asked Billie to move in with him and she readily agreed, which pleased him no end as he spent countless nights between Billie's thighs and taking her on every available surface in the apartment.

Obviously Vhagar took some time adjusting to spending everyday with Darcie, but she begrudgingly accepted it-with bribery from Billie that consisted of endless cat treats.

Aemond felt like the luckiest man on earth, and he couldn’t stop smiling as he reached the apartment he now shared with Billie.

But as he entered the apartment, his excitement turned to confusion as he found Billie standing in the living room, her expression tense and troubled. And then, to his shock, he noticed Alys standing beside her, her hand resting protectively on her swollen belly.

TBC -

#house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #hotd aemond #aemond fanfiction #hotd fanfic #aemond fic #aemond x oc #hotd fic #aemond one eye #aemond x original female character #aemond targaryen x oc #aemond smut #aemond targaryen smut

[thursdayinspace]

There is something about the way Mulder learns to accept and seek out emotional support and comfort throughout the course of the seasons. With all the casual physical contact that they have going on from the beginning, he seems ready to reach out, but doesn't seem to expect others to do the same. He feels deeply, but he keeps it to himself; something he seems to have learned from an early age. He's had to build his life around other people's pain since his sister disappered. He doesn't want to burden others with his needs.

Scully's "I wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you" in "Tooms" is met with a joke immediately to lighten the mood -- a flirty joke, but still. He doesn't think he deserves how much she cares about him. Caring is his job. It's everyone else's job to disregard and dismiss his feelings and not take him seriously.

Scully setting up their secret meeting in "Little Green Men" -- he seems almost a little confused that she really just wanted to see him. He doesn't react when the touches his hair before she leaves. He doesn't react when she briefly takes his hand at the end. I don't think those little gestures of comfort don't register with him. They do. He simply doesn't quite know how to respond to them. He doesn't hesitate to gently cup her cheek and offer comfort when she wants to come back to work after her father's death. But he would never expect her to do that for him.

In "Anasazi" when he says "Thank you for taking care of me," it seems like he has to think about that sentence for a long time. Not because he isn't grateful, but because he doesn't really understand why she did it. Nothing more embarrassing than thanking someone and hearing "Oh, I didn't do it for you." And he said some pretty rude things to her when he was drugged, accusing her of betraying him. Who knows how much of it he remembers, but apparently enough to feel mortified. He never wanted to hurt her, but he must have, and then, after all that, she saved him and risked so much for him?

The scene in "Detour" comes to mind, the night in the forest when she tries to pull his head into her lap so he can get some rest and so that she can keep him warm, and he jokes "I don't want to wrestle." She doesn't have to do this, he's fine. He's not being a manly man who doesn't need anything, it's just that she's offering something that's hard to accept for him. She offers him a place to let go and stop pushing on. And he doesn't think she needs to do that, he is not fatally injured or anything, he'll be fine. But she wants him to be comfortable. She sees him, and is there for him.

At his mother's hospital bed in "Herrenvolk," she reaches for him and he lets himself cry into her shoulder. It's not just an emotional scene because of what he's going through. It's that he's allowing himself to truly let himself go in front of her. She reaches for him and he gives in and leans his face against her shoulder, holds onto her, letting her hold him. Letting her hold him. That's the really crucial point. Who has ever done that for him before? Who has ever allowed him his pain and told him it's okay, I know you have to feel like this right now, I know you're hurting, and I will be your tether for as long as you have to lose yourself in this?

"Sein und Zeit" -- he clings to her so tightly, lets her be his lifeline in this moment, as he knows she wants to be that for him. Letting go like that is so, so scary. There is always the fear that it will change someone's opinion of you. Make them think you're weak. Let them know what gets to you, and then you will always always always have to deal with them looking at you trying to asses how okay you are in stressful situations. It leaves you wide open and vulnerable. Learning that she doesn't expect him to be strong, that she doesn't believe that things don't affect him, that's a new concept. It requires so much trust.

Being able to take an offered hand is really fucking difficult, especially when you've been conditioned to be the one doing the reaching out. Leaning on someone is terrifying. Some patterns are hard to unlearn. But her steady presence finally allows him to show weakness and trust her to catch him when he falls. It lets him understand that he's allowed to fall sometimes.

#txf #the x files #fox mulder #msr #mulder and scully #they teach each other trust in a way #such an important skill to have

[makeitastrength]

Do you truly think they will get back together?

I really do, anon! With some other couples my answer wouldn’t be so confident, but Tim and Lucy have proven before that they have what it takes to make it through this.

Let’s start with Tim. Yes, he’s in a really bad place right now. But he’s shown us (and Lucy) over and over again that he’s able and willing to change. Every single time she’s called him out on his behavior, he has eventually accepted responsibility for it, learned from it, and changed it. Already, in the aftermath of this breakup, he’s accepted that he needs help. I fully anticipate that he will reach the point of being able to understand and accept what he’s done and take responsibility for it as well and work to make sure it doesn't happen again.

He’s also earned Lucy’s trust before. At the beginning she didn’t trust him at all - justifiably, given how volatile he was. But as he healed, he became someone she could trust on the job. And eventually outside of the job. She’s seen him change. She knows he’s capable of it. And I think once they’re communicating better and she understands what triggered him to walk away from her, she'll also be able to see that he's putting in the work to ensure he doesn't stay in this place where he might make the same decision again. With that understanding and seeing the changes, she'll be able to begin rebuilding trust.

And let’s not forget (something @timandlucy pointed out to me earlier) that Tim forgave Isabel. She disappeared, stole from him, lied, and cheated, yet Tim was willing to forgive her. He knows what it's like to be in that position. And again, I think once he’s in a better place, he’s going to understand that Lucy now has to do what he once did and that it’s not going to be easy.

Along those lines, let's talk about Lucy. From day one, it's been made clear that empathy is a core piece of who she is. She understands that people make bad decisions when they're in a bad place, but that this doesn't define who they are as a person. She’s understands why people do the things they do. She believes people can change, and she believes in second chances.

And even though right now she doesn't fully understand how deep Tim's issues run, she still knows him. She knows he struggles with his feelings and she knows he carries trauma that he hasn't dealt with. She knows he sometimes makes irrational decisions guided by his heightened emotions. She knows he struggles to ask for help.

But she also knows his heart. She knows he cares deeply. She knows he's willing to do anything for the people he loves (even if it's not actually the right thing to do). Tim is so scared of her finding out what he did and who he is - but the thing he can't see is that she already knows who he is. He says he can't give her what she needs, but again, she knows that's not true. Maybe right now he can't, but he is capable of it and she knows that, too. He just needs help getting to that place.

Is winning her trust back going to be easy? Absolutely not. And I don't want it to be. Lucy has every right to be hurt and angry and protective of her heart. She has every right to set boundaries and demand an adult conversation with him. You can be empathetic without being a pushover.

It's not going to be an easy journey and it's not going to be a quick one. It's gonna take a lot of communication and vulnerability and emotional maturity. But I really truly believe that once they can overcome these issues, they're going to be so much stronger.

(Sorry, that may have been a much longer answer than you were looking for. Long story short, yes. I do.)

#anon ask #asked and answered #chenford #lucy chen #tim bradford

[venomxd14]

Felix Kranken relationship headcanons

These headcanons are not just romantic. This includes platonic ones too. Some of these are related to my Felix Goes to Rehab AU, but this is vague enough to work with the canon series too. I might update and fix this from time to time. Let me know what y'all think, but please don't be too mean about it. This is super fucking long btw. LMAO

Linda and Felix's relationship was toxic, mostly coming from Felix's end due to his alcoholism and pride. It makes him say things to her he doesn't mean, but it doesn't excuse anything at all. Linda would also argue out of frustration, calling out his behavior, but he wouldn't listen to her. He would apologize to her a lot, but the more these arguments happened, the less she'd believe him. These arguments also made her afraid to protest against him later, which is why she left while he was away.

Felix cared about Linda very deeply. Despite this, he is emotionally distant, and she would long for him to reciprocate. When they were first dating, he struggled to admit that he loved her, but he would only get over it in fear of losing her. Felix is conflicted about how he felt about her during and after their marriage. He knows he cares about her, but did he love her romantically if he struggled to be vulnerable with her? He too craves emotional intimacy, but he failed to do anything while he was with her. Linda would get tired of this, not feeling fulfilled in their relationship, especially combined with Felix's addiction and harsh words towards her.

Regardless if he loved Linda romantically or not, she was his favorite person. Felix has BPD and NPD, and he was heavily fixated on her. He trusted her more than anyone. She was the only person he allowed to touch, hug or kiss him without any sort of resistance from him. While he was still emotionally closed off from her, she would comfort him and tell him things were going to be okay when he was overwhelmed. He found comfort in her presence like no one else before, which was why he was so afraid of losing her. He would split a lot when it came to her. He'd either overly glorify her and treat her like she'd save him, or hate her because she told him to stop drinking. This instability would put a lot of pressure on Linda and drained her emotionally. This is another reason why she left.

Felix does not like physical contact beyond hand shaking and pats on the back, especially from strangers. He's not a fan of hugs, but will hesitantly hug someone if they need comfort from him. He does make exceptions to people that he is close to, such as Jack and Linda. He's also nicer to children about it, but he'd try to avoid it when he could. Of course, Jack's children are allowed to hug him whenever they want. When he's drunk he loosens up and tolerates it more since he isn't really thinking in general. He's also clingy and emotional in this state. He just holds onto someone he knows.

In a romantic relationship, Felix isn't really the one to initiate physical affection unless he is cued to. He kind of waits for his partner to make the first move. When he does initiate, he's more subtle about what he wants, so that he doesn't do anything without consent. Most of the time though, he forgets to show his affection to his partners, and he doesn't understand how important it could be to them. He isn't good at being romantic, but he would often buy his partners gifts to make up for it. He doesn't like when things get too intimate or emotionally vulnerable, so he would avoid them as often as he could. This makes him appear cold and distant in a relationship. He may brag about being in a relationship because he genuinely loves his partners and the attention, but he would be hesitant to display physical acts of affection in public. Not that he's ashamed of them, but more ashamed of himself.

Felix is bisexual, but he has a leaning towards men and other masculine presenting people. Despite this, he would pursue women more often. He's afraid the men in his life won't reciprocate the feelings he has towards them. This doesn't mean he loves his feminine partners less. When he's in a relationship, he is very much committed to whoever he's with and loves them regardless of their gender identity.

Felix is also demisexual, meaning he doesn't experience sexual attraction until after he forms a close, emotional bond with his partner. He has a low libido, not understanding the hype of having an active sex life. He also has other priorities, so he hardly thinks of it. He would never pursue anyone that way, unless they also want a long term, romantic relationship with him first, preferably if it involves marriage. He doesn't like being touched too much. If he were to ever have a more intimate relationship with anyone, it would be pretty rare, and he'd have to really trust his partner. Even when drunk, he's very conservative about his sexuality. He'd never do anything, or let anyone touch him without consent first.

He has a hard time being truthful or communicative when it comes to his feelings. He usually lies and drinks to suppress them. His mood swings can be drastic, and it doesn't help that he tries to bottle them up. He doesn't want to burden people because he knows that his alcoholism already does enough. When people try to get him to open up, he gets overwhelmed and pushes them away. When he's drunk, his emotions blow up and he has a melt down. He doesn't know how to control himself. This makes his relationships with others very unstable.

Felix has BPD and it heavily affects the way he expresses his love for others. He has a fear of being abandoned, and he will cling onto his friends or partners if he feels like they don't love him anymore. When they want attention or affection from him though, he struggles to reciprocate. Sometimes he isolates himself from the people he cares about the most and distracts himself, usually by indulging in his self destructive habits, whether it be overworking or drinking. Felix has two favorite people that he switches between, Jack and Linda. Whenever he senses there is tension between him and one of them, he would turn to the other and smother them with his attention. When he splits, he says things he doesn't mean, but he doesn't understand how that hurts the person he's talking to until later. He constantly seeks validation from his favorite people. If he doesn't receive praise from people he deeply cares about, he would get paranoid. He would split and think that they hate him, so he starts acting aggressively egotistical as a defense mechanism. He would do whatever it takes to receive any attention, thinking that he doesn't need anyone when he's just trying to fill the void where they used to be.

He also has NPD, and it also strains the relationships he has with others. He has empathy, and he does care about people he loves, but whenever he feels threatened by them, he refuses to see through their perspective. He takes any sort of criticism, constructive or not, very personally. He tends to belittle whoever opposes him to make himself feel better. Sometimes, if they really get under his skin, he becomes hostile and starts berating whoever he's with. He regrets doing this afterward, not only because it makes him look bad, but he also never means to hurt the people he cares about. Felix has high expectations for himself. He needs to be perfect. If he isn't the best at everything, and if he can't achieve it on his own, he gets insecure about it. He would brag, fish for compliments, take credit for achievements from others, etc. He does whatever it takes to keep others from seeing that he's secretly an "insecure loser" that can't amount to anything. He often avoids trying new things due to his extreme fear of failure. This is why he is so controlling and absolutely despises change. His friends notice this, and get really annoyed by it. Jack and Linda are usually the ones that try to get him to chill out, but Felix gets irritated by it. He's more likely to listen to Jack though.

He does not like being vulnerable, whether it's emotionally or physically. He prefers to be the one in charge of any relationship to avoid it, which is why he resorts to being controlling. Being the breadwinner in a relationship also helps him feel like he has control. He's afraid of feeling completely dependent on someone, even though he knows that's how he truly feels deep down. He secretly craves to be open about his emotions, but he just can't muster the courage to do so. Even if he wasn't afraid to, he's too stubborn to let others help him. He'd rather deal with everything on his own because it would hurt his pride if he didn't. When it comes to physical vulnerability, he doesn't like being controlled or put in a defenseless position. If he doesn't push them away, it would take a long time for him to adjust to this change, and he doesn't like change. When he's drunk, he's very emotional and seeks comfort, but his thoughts and feelings are so overwhelming that he can't express himself clearly, so he ends up sobbing or lashing out instead of communicating in a healthy manner. He is extremely vulnerable in this state, and he knows it. It's absolutely humiliating for him.

#the walten files #twf #twf fandom #felix kranken #idk what to put here #headcanons #headcanon #Felix is my hyperfixation for some fucking reason please save me #brain rot #felix goes to rehab #au #alternate universe

[nikethestatue]

I've seen people say that Gwyn and Emerie would stay friends with Nesta after knowing how horrible she was to people and how toxic she can get , because it's written in the passage in ACOSF but I disagree even though Nesta told both of them of all the wrong throngs she said and did it still doesn't prove anything because listening to something is a whole other thing than experiencing it because the the exact words used were obviously not said and that was what made her actions that much worse . I also believe that they don't understand how bad it was especially when they told Nesta she "did nothing wrong" . What do you think ?

Yes I do think that they got the Disney version of Nesta. Now, I like Nesta. I get her. I identify with her. But the whole friendship was kind of fake. Sorry. Simply because it was created in a very controlled environment, where everything was taken care of for both Nesta and Gwyn. They were given shelter, jobs, food, clothing. They didn’t need to think of anything other than working out and emotions. Like to me, it’s similar to meeting someone at a spa or a retreat of some kind and then claiming that you are besties for life.

Life is full of difficulties and hardships and decisions. It’s not about mind stilling and ribbons.

In the BR we already saw how Gwyn acted, disregarding everyone’s safety because she wanted to reach the mountain. It fell on Emerie to carry her and on Nesta to protect both of them.

To me, their differences and attitudes were immediately apparent. Gwyn is obsessed with meeting some unnecessary record for no real reason. Emerie is the workhorse. Nesta feels responsible for both of them.

So no I don’t really think they’d be friends at all if they met under normal circumstances.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

The way substance abuse has been handled on the show thus far genuinely upsets me and reeks of writers who either 1.) don't understand the subject matter they're presenting and haven't done even the bare minimum to research it or, worse, 2.) simply don't care.

Apologies for the slight rant incoming, your comment about how it has been mostly "handled" off-screen got me going because that's 100% true and in that truth is such a missed opportunity for the show. The way it has been handled winds up feeling incredibly shallow and juvenile at the end of the day, especially for a piece of media that is attempting to present itself as "adult" and navigate multiple incredibly sensitive topics. I'll try not to get into my own personal experiences and will speak broadly, but the show uses substance abuse more as a cheap character flaw to poke fun at or something to magically handwave away when it is inconvenient, rather than the life-altering, debilitating illness that it is.

Nothing about Angel's use is ever meaningfully explored. It's so (apparently) unimportant to his arc and development that one rude comment from Husk (a character who ALSO has a problem with gambling and alcohol that is never addressed) is all it takes for him to suddenly "resist temptation" and be shown as "recovered" (unless I'm misremembering). Or was he suddenly going to counseling off-screen too and its just another thing that will be told to us rather than shown? And how does Charlie even handle that at the Hotel (I'd be really interested in this as a moment for her character to have to grow/change too)? Does she even understand substance abuse and the many unaddressed systemic factors that can influence it? Or is the entire recovery process just shame based (because that works so well /s) combined with some more corny trust exercises? Why is this incredibly serious topic relegated to the background as if it's unimportant?

Recovery is hard. It is emotional and exhausting. Withdrawal (depending on what you're coming off of) can sometimes mean excruciating, unimaginable pain and in some cases people literally die. It is not a funny "ha-ha I take drugs because I'm chaotic and wild" quirk to be adored or glorified and it definitely should not be presented as something that can be wrapped up in a month or two off-screen without any development whatsoever. That's just insulting.

When you approach a topic like substance abuse and recovery, I personally feel you need to take in all sides of it. All the missteps that come with it (two steps forward one step back - mistakes are expected and okay), the self-loathing, the guilt and shame, the joy, the sense of freedom, the loss, and the best part of all: the incredibly difficult but liberating journey that is rebuilding your life and learning to love yourself and your body again, once you've chosen to be free and to live life.

Mad props to anyone who has ever battled this disease. You are strong, you are worth it and you are valued. Lol I am so sorry for going off here but I so appreciate you calling out the lack of exploration on this topic in the show. I guess I didn't even realize how annoyed and upset it was making me feel (praying this is coherent...).

This was absolutely coherent don’t worry!! Im really glad to see other people talking about this. I myself have not struggled with drug addiction but I have struggled with other kinds and as someone that studies a bunch of medical junk, I’d say I’m decently knowledgeable.

I’m mainly going to focus on Angel for this since he’s the main character I write for, but I assure you other characters addictions are also handled in my rewrite.

During the actual canon show, we don’t see Angel actually abusing substances that often; there’s a few times, most notably in episode 4, but from the rest of the show onward we hardly see anything. Yes in episode 6 they mentioned relapsing, which, mind you, was done horribly, but I digress. They touch on relapsing; Angel relapses, and then… what..??? What happened from that? I don’t feel upset or second hand guilt of any kind from this scene because we haven’t seen Angel’s attempts to stay sobre and off drugs.

His name is fucking Angel Dust. You don’t, I dunno, think that’d entail a higher dependency on drugs? Why do you think he named himself that?

About his name before anything else, the show has so much potential later on to talk about Angel picking out his drag name and why he chose that specifically. So much potential to explore how he views drugs and himself. He sees them as an escape and something “fun” to take his mind off of his actual life. When you die in a fucking coma and wake up in hell as a spider you’re going to want an escape. You will want to ignore reality. I am fully convinced Angel picked his name once he started performing because thats what he needed at the time. He needs to be like that to survive in hell. Angel is an incredibly mentally ill, troubled, traumatised, and unstable person, and being surrounded by so much intense negative influence only amplifies his current problems. I don’t mean to drag Vox in here but in my last redesign post I mentioned how very mildly bad people can become even worse people in hell because of the environment and this is no different for Angel. He’s been surrounded by crime and drugs his entire life and unable to live comfortably because of his sexuality. He has very likely been struggling with substances since he was a teen. Possibly even younger. He is not going to suddenly get over his addiction because of something like this. It could pave the way to him looking into dealing with it, but things like this can take years. I don’t remember when my addiction started; I’ve been clean for 2 1/2 years now I think, but the amount of relapsing and anguish I experienced while working towards that isn’t something that can be done in a few days or months. I still struggle with feeling like I deserve to say I’m recovering.

I’m hoping they tactfully handle this as they should, but my hopes are low. It’s okay to show a character relapsing. It’s okay to show a character feeling guilty. What matters is that the struggle is there to signify they’re trying. For a character with a song called “Addict” you really don’t see much of it. Drug and alcohol addiction is not a silly thing to just twiddle your fingers with and be like “well I guess thats over!” It’s incredibly insensitive to do so.

Whenever I write about Angel’s struggles with addictions, I focus on how small they can feel until you realise what’s actually happening. Just me talking about my rewrite again, but to get my ideas out here: Angel smokes often. He smokes at the studio when he’s stressed, he smokes at the hotel when he’s stressed, he smokes at in alleyways when he’s bored, there’s almost no location he won’t, but sometimes he tries to smoke less. His lungs aren’t the same as humans and technically he has 2 pairs of lungs, but smoking causes him to cough. This is painful in general and especially painful for Angel since he has barbs going down the back of his throat. Imagine choking on sandpaper, kind of like that. It’s painful, he doesn’t like the sound, Fat Nuggets REALLY doesn’t like the sound, and it’s an overall inconvenience, so he tries to stop smoking as much. Periods like this usually go fine for him until the stress returns or he starts to feel the withdrawal. Withdrawal from any sort of addiction is terrible, and in Angel’s case, just from not smoking it worsens his mental state further. He becomes irritable and stressed and that stress leads to wanting to smoke again to calm down. He may resist a few times and those times should be praised, but he gives in eventually. One cigarette to calm down becomes two, then three, and before he can process himself getting carried away, the entire pack is gone. It’s things like this that make addiction horrible. It’s something that deeply scared me when I was struggling. When I was struggling I was still in the mindset of “I can stop when I want to” and then being so suddenly hit in the face with the realisation that I’m not longer in control of this is terrifying. I could not stop when I wanted to. There were even points where I didn’t want to stop. Even just getting the smallest glimpse of this in an incredibly serious manner with Angel Dust would surprise me. To think the bar is this low on a show that seemingly prides itself on tackling such sensitive topics like you said is appalling. Your show shouldn’t have to be told how to write itself.

#hazbin hotel #raimble #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #angel dust #hazbin angel dust #hazbin angel #angel dust hazbin #anti vivziepop #tw drugs #cw drugs #tw addiction #cw addiction #tw relapse #cw relapse #tw relapse mention #cw relapse mention #tw substance abuse #cw substance abuse

[endlesscolddreams]

Why fruk? All they do is fight!!! That's exhausting and toxic

I know I took a long time to reply to this but I wanted to have time for it.

There are many reasons, from the usual rivals to lovers to the doomed lovers and gravitational forces that keep clashing to the lovely reason of face family (children), but I'll admit, I don't think face family is a thing. While I do love it, I don't think it's realistic at all in nation aus, they're too young and focused on ambitions and other matters; besides, they'd never join to raise the kids because France is not a parent, only when kids are older and interesting; England mellowed to kids with age, but he was a brat himself, America was the one pulling the strings like only a child does, tbh. 

I could give you many reasons, from their personalities to the fact that there's not a single soul that knows them better than the one who witnessed all your failures and victories, but I decided to address the point you make about it being exhausting.

It is, but at the same time, it's invigorating.

As someone who comes from a house of maniacs who always fought, I'll admit I don't understand it that well sometimes, but there's a point to be made here, and that is: love is not enough.

These two are really good to showcase this point because they do love and hate each other like no one else, and that's not enough. I think that's the main appeal of this ship tbh.

Their love is not enough to be together, not enough to be apart, not enough to ignore the other, and not enough to lower their guard and properly try. And isn't that the most humane and real fact? I do gravitate towards them in all the ways they're portrayed because of it. You can make them sweet, you can make them less proud, and you can make them human and fragile, but in the end, they're who they are and will always fight. But while they do fight a lot, they are used to it; they're desensitised to it, even if it looks toxic or abusive. They have a mutual understanding that no one—them included—can understand properly, but it works for them, which is enough to make them crave this push-pull relationship.

They are ancient, they are used to a certain level of cruelty, and their morals are flexible. Besides,  they have thick skin and don't care about certain words or violence. They are and always will be opposites, that's how they operate, their role in the world, and how they feel comfortable acting, because that's what built their identities up and carved their name in history.

(BTW if their hate was really deep and vicious, they would use Canada and America against each other, and the lack of shippers of frus and engcan tells me that maybe people do get that deep down they don't hate each other.)

They're also sadomasochistic in complementary ways. They both enjoy causing each other pain.

As I see it, France is more of an emotional sadomasochist; he finds real pleasure in humiliating people, and tears can be aphrodisiac in beautiful individuals, so it's a treat when he can't wrap someone in his fingers, and England doesn't give him that pleasure. He also enjoys feeling pain; he is that one individual who abides by the rule that the most pleasure can only be obtained with a certain amount of pain, and he does love teasing but can't handle it himself. Who else can fulfil his inner desires? Even those he will never admit he has? England will because he sees who he really is underneath his well-made web. England can make him feel his own poison, and as much as it's infuriating, it makes him addicted to more, and he won't deny himself that pleasure. (No pleasure goes to waste for that guy)

England craves something more physical and cathartic, so he enjoys when the other presses and doesn't give up when he doesn't give them the pleasure of showing his pain (he is too proud, really). He also has a sharp tongue that hurts people without his intent, so he needs someone who loves himself enough to not break with his vitriolic words (France loves himself too much to believe his words). England also enjoys hurting and being hurt; it can be relieving and usually clears his mind, as little does. Besides, it's a win-win situation because France also looks his best trying to contain his tears at his feet and is amazing at teasing England until he breaks down without taking advantage because he prides himself on being a good lover above all, even his own desires sometimes, which can be reassuring to someone as jaded as England.

There's also the fact that he does enjoy playing the game. England enjoys mental games, and this is pretty much an even one; sometimes he breaks, sometimes France breaks, which will never cease to be a motivator to keep it up despite that nasty fact that France enjoys reasons to do things, emotions, and all that crap. France is invested; he finds it fascinating in several ways and longs to be the one to really understand England or make him fall for him, whichever comes first (he lacks self-awareness sometimes for such a self-proclaimed wise nation). And England is, underneath all his bitterness, a little romantic, so he quite enjoys being pursued, so why not? At least the frog is one of the best-looking nations, despite his many flaws. (I will admit I don't really portray England as tsundere as the anime makes him but the fact still is that he will never be open about his desires, will never be dovey and sweet as France wished him to be but France kind of grew to like that part of him too, despite not being cute)

I could also add the fact that they're both dominant. That's another point of contempt but also complimentary; I'm simply in love with the idea that they switch up and France is that annoying dominant bottom who uses England as he wishes, not really realising that England quite likes being used like that (cough, cough, English vices). They never win with each other because they end up unwillingly giving each other reasons to keep up.

France calls it fate, England his curse. Either way, they'll always be connected by history, geography, and even humanity.

I rambled my way around the point, but the thing is, they enjoy this game, and yes, it can be tiresome.

Sometimes they really need to step out and give it a rest, but they're both confident enough to know it's temporary. They'll cool down when things get too bad and then call each other to gossip about something and find each other in the same bed in a single day, not really knowing how but thinking that yes, they actually missed that annoying guy.

Personally, I don't see them fighting all that much, but they do know where to poke to provoke, and France is usually the one poking because he needs drama in his life, and England gets bored easily, so he needs a push to keep lively, but they do know where to stop. (England goes along with it because it suits him and everything is boring; he keeps thinking too much, and this way he's engaged in something that's not self-destructive for once. France just lives for the movie life the drama queen)

So, they don't fight as much as you'd think; it's mostly for show because they need to be the antagonist force, and it's mostly about their differences in handling things and views that usually don't stray all that far, so it's reserved for their nationhood things. The fact that in Canon France demands to fight with Germany also adds to my view, because who will counter him now? (He needs that voice of reason/oposition/ there; it's just unnatural to not have it there.)

So yeah, it can be tiresome, but in a comforting way. Is that a good reason to ship them? Maybe not, but there's no doubt they make a compelling case. Be it hate or love, they're not indifferent to each other, and that's a fact.

Sorry for the long rant but I've received like 3 questions about fruk and I joined most points here.

#aph france #aph england #fruk #daniereplies #hws france #hws england #aph fruk #aph #hetalia #aphfrance #aphengland

[houserautha]

I've re-read TDE multiple times already and I find some new aspects of the story every time. I especially love how complex Feyd is. He has very cold exterior, but actually is very caring for the ones who deserve his devotion. This caring side of him is also very meticulous and detailed. Like the fact that he remembers the page number that reader has been reading or when he notices that Reader is upset or ill, when he sees that reader has never killed before. He actually is very attentive to other people's emotions, not in the aspect of empathy but in understanding. There is also a lot of honor in his actions. Yeah it is dark and ruthless but it is still honorable. When he deals with Zeev, when he protects the boys from the Baron, when he has regular meeting with common people, when he gives Reader an opportunity to exert her power as na-baroness, when he makes sure she understands that she is magnificient. He doesn't want a weak wife but still will do everything in his power to protect and defend her. I think he respects her because he sees the same honor in her. Let's just say he takes his wedding vows very seriously. Oh and the fact that he is calling her "my jewel"...s o b b i n g. Honestly the wedding ceremony was the most beautiful in a Harkonnen way. The salute is everything.

All of this is exactly why I can reciprocate readers feelings of heartache because of him, I hate that he has been hurt, a lot. It's kind of helplessness because there is no undo button, but I am here for their revenge.

The angst after the fall of the Atreides is unbearable. My heart aches for the Reader but at the same time for Feyd... You can feel the pain both mental and physical for both of them. It's kinda sick and twisted but in a natural for them way.

I love the banter between them as well, it's subtle but delicious, like the moment in the tub when he proves that he doesn't wrinkle.

I actually adore all of the details that you put in about the Harkonnens bodies, that they clot easily, don't wrinkle, black cum ...all of it is so fitting. I just love your Feyd 🥲

All of the above is just how I see Feyd's character and I may have made up a lot of things which you hadn't intended to, I am sorry for that.

Thank you so much for your work ❤️‍🩹

Omg no, I think you nailed everything about him so perfectly. He is such a complex character to me and I’m glad that multiple facets of his personality have stood out to you because I take very serious care of his character🥲

I think, yes, he’s callous and perhaps a lot bloodthirsty but he’s also been raised to be a leader and attentive to other people. Obviously in the books the Baron plans to put him as the ruler of Arrakis because he’s much more diplomatic than Rabban and I wanted to express that in this fic. He’s a monster but he’s also cunning and perceptive and intelligent and (sometimes) charismatic. And he would never actually say it (I don’t think he even completely understands how he feels) but he just really loves his wife🤧

His whole life everyone has expected him to be a certain way or a certain thing — a weapon, the father to the KH, a political pawn, but reader just sees him as he is. She doesn’t want to change him and she doesn’t ask him to be someone that he’s not. And that’s very freeing to him.

Anyway, it makes me so happy to hear that you’ve read TDE more than once and have found something meaningful in it every time. Thank you for reading my silly little thots about Feyd-Rautha and for supporting me with your kind words❤️

#these destined ends #feyd rautha #feyd x reader #dune #feyd x you #fanfic writing #feyd rautha harkonnen #feyd smut #writers on tumblr #fanfic #writing

[distort-opia]

I assume you have read half way across, I definitely did and I always kept wondering would this scenario be possible? Would that play along similar way if ever happened in canon?

Definitely read Half Way Across. It's an iconic Batjokes story, incredibly well-written and in-character. And yes, I'd say that at least to me, it's pretty much exactly how I'd imagine this scenario unfolding in canon. A bit of spoilers for HWA incoming, for anyone who hasn't read the fic.

I think I talked about it somewhere else before, about how time and context are a huge factor to me when it comes to Batjokes-- and how The Killing Joke is a massive turning point in their dynamic. At that point in time, Joker hadn't killed Jason. He hadn't killed Sarah Essen-Gordon, he hadn't become so monstrous as to appear entirely irredeemable. Not to mention, Bruce hadn't accrued such an extensive Family by that time, which Joker hurt in different ways and which would make any current rehabilitation attempt led by Bruce personally so difficult. It follows that Bruce offering to help and Joker accepting that help would not have been such an impossibility then as it is today, in more ways than one. Besides, Joker would undoubtedly demand Bruce's involvement in his rehabilitation, if Bruce himself wouldn't take over with barely any prompting; after all, his offer to Joker in TKJ is not just "I could help you", it's also "we could work together". It shows that Bruce has thought about it extensively, has imagined a future with a Joker who's by his side.

But well... then there's the issue of the power imbalance. To be honest, it's been a while since I read HWA, but the reason why I never felt the need to write a story like that myself is because HWA tackled the major issue with any Batjokes rehabilitation story so well-- which is, put simply, Bruce getting to have too much control over Joker. Bruce's need for control is almost all-encompassing, and the reason why Joker is his nemesis is Joker's utter defiance of it. Bruce cannot fully understand Joker, hence he cannot predict or control Joker, and that's... unique. To differing degrees, Bruce controls everyone around him; he has back-up plans for his back-up plans in case someone goes rogue, in case he needs to take down close friends and allies. He knows exactly what emotional buttons to push to get the people around him to do what he thinks is best. But Joker isn't like that, and it's crucial to them being equals that Joker stays like that. However, if Joker is in Bruce's power as Bruce tries to "fix him" the way he thinks is best... the power balance becomes massively skewed. And Bruce's need for control would rear its ugly head in so many ways, while for Joker this would mean constant doubt and resentment about having to be who Bruce wants him to be-- otherwise, Bruce would turn off the flashlight half way across. HWA feels like an accurate way the story could go in canon because it deals with this, precisely. With the trust issues that would arise for both Bruce and Joker, with Bruce's need for control and ideas of normality. No matter how a rehabilitation scenario played out for Batjokes, if Bruce is personally involved in it, I do think this will always happen similarly.

Now, HWA isn't finished, and I don't know what Dracze has in store for it so I won't speculate, but I'm very much looking forward to how this tension between them would break. (And I want to make the point that it doesn't matter that it's a WIP, or if/when it gets updated-- this is an amazing story and we're lucky it's being shared with us.)

#hah. realizing that in a way FTS is a bit of a negative to HWA. but I can't rant about it 'cause I'd spoiler the whole thing #...for when I actually update my own damn WIP haha #asks #half way across #batjokes #batjokes fanfic

[nightwngobssd]

Dick is not the happy go lucky character every single moment.

Jason doesn't feel Lazarus pit rage.

Cass is not always serious.

Tim is more than a tired or depressed replacement.

Steph isn't just a unserious background character.

Damian isn't a murderous "demon" child.

Duke is more than just shy background character who is confused.

Can we stop pretending that the batfam kids only have one emotion????? Most everyone (with exceptions but-) no matter how emotionally repressed they are feel more than one thing, it's part of being human. It's so frustrating when people mis characterize them, and say they only feel one thing or only act a certain way.

#i feel like people don't understand how emotions work???? #coming from an AUTISTIC person #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #damian wayne #duke thomas #so yeah #just some things #dc comics #batman #batfam #robin #dc #batfamily

[fluentisonus]

while we're talking about it though that's something really fundamental to spock's character I think in a way I don't always see discussed, that by joining starfleet he's making the explicit and intentional choice that he'd rather be seen as a perfect example of an alien amongst humans than as an imperfect vulcan amongst vulcans. I see this framed a lot as him being more accepted in starfleet than he was on vulcan, and I really don't think that's the case at all: he's still very attached to vulcan, and we see all the prejudice he has to face and how little he's understood in starfleet. but what it comes down to is that he'd rather exist in a place where no one understands him and so he has nothing to prove -- even if that means being very alone -- than in a place where he's surrounded by the familiar & meaningful but everyone can see the ways he can't quite fit. if that makes sense

#obviously in the end he's not alone bc he has them all but that was never a guarantee or even something he could have hoped when he joined #thoughts #star trek #tos #I don't like how the vulcans are treated in a lot of discussions around spock imo. there's a weird angle everyone seems to have that he's #better off with humanity & with humans that I think is simply not true #like I'm not trying to deny that he had it rough there or say that they were always kind to him but this impression of them all as rigid & #xenophobic is a bit. eh #part of the reason he feels like he can't be on vulcan is because he was raised w vulcan culture & traditions -- which he stil follows! bc #they mean a lot to him -- and he feels like he can only do that all properly away from vulcan #which obvs isn't really a great solution either #but I think a lot of people misunderstand the whole learning that emotion is okay sometimes from tmp as retroactively justifying that #humans were right about emotionals & vulcans were wrong. which is like the opposite of the point. the point is that he can have both #& they don't have to mutually exclude one another and he can be a good vulcan while also being comfortable with being half human #he wouldn't be happy being human either. #and there's nothing inherently harmful about vulcan beliefs he just had to come to an understanding of them that made sense to him #& that worked for him rather than forcing himself into a misunderstanding of them that didn't suit him #anyways.

[musical-chick-13]

Can somebody please explain to me what the appeal of vampires is.

#I'm genuinely curious #people seem to go absolutely feral over this concept and I want to KNOW I want to UNDERSTAND #and there are some really excellent vampire aus that I love and I want to love them MORE because I want to GET IT™ #because all I see are like...societally conventionally attractive people with fangs. who maybe (depending on The Lore™) #can't go out in the sun. and that just...doesn't resonate with me? #like I understand metaphors for 'othering' and the concept of monstrosity but I feel like that gets a little lost if there isn't anything #actually UNPALATABLE about them. like if they just look like what we culturally have idealized in human appearance then how can #they serve as a metaphor for ostracization or being misunderstood? #is it primarily an aesthetic thing? is it a *danger is sexy* thing? #but ordinary humans can be plenty dangerous too (see: 90% of the female characters I'm obsessed with) #so is it in the sense of you can vicariously experience that danger and heightened emotion in a situation that's removed from reality #so it feels less overwhelming when you're watching/reading the piece of fiction??? #like I have seen this used effectively as a metaphor for marginalization (undead murder farce) and an exploration of how society #defines a 'monster' (shiki) but that doesn't seem to be the way most people or works engage with this concept #is it just that people like when characters are covered in blood because I DO understand that one lmao #I just feel like vampires have been branded as a Key Aspect of Bisexual/Gay Culture and I feel like I am on a separate plane of existence #because It Is Not Clicking For Me #(tbh I feel like there are a lot of Quintessential Queer Experiences™ that don't apply to me but. that's a whole separate thing.) #ANYWAY would love to hear people's thoughts! #I am cooking up a Meta Post™ about fandom reaction to the concept of monstrosity and I want to gather as much information as possible

[savage-rhi]

I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to #place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like #LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee #so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of #people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take #a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM) #the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore #ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team #but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up #graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made #my adhd brain go WELL SHIT #ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do #love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving #people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt #but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel #amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou #life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i #just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive #but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present #and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now #on a positive note... #my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made #a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little #im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor #i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it #but damn it im tired #thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave #if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you #please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you