#i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it

[luvsavos]

random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently

#mar.txt #it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one #maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get #maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important. #maybe it's just the all-consuming，gaping hole of loneliness within me #idk. #i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it #feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction #a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro，but willing to be in a relationship provided the other #person isn't bothered by them being aro，bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings #i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the #only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of #actually caring #'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things #because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they #could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting) #and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends #the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to #me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance #i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad. #to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much. #i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's #most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love，yeah? ha. #maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships， #those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have. #anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the #burden of feeling such intense，suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly. #i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.

[birdsareblooming]

im so tired of having to defend myself on both sides

like. ok. i'm queer right. bi, demigender, aro, etc. also you know a girl, demi or not. all the time i have to defend myself from american christians who via mistranslations and misinterpretations spread by horrible leaders for generations have been led into a cult-like hierarchy that tells them to hate me when hate for us isn't in their book or supposed to be in their ways.

i'm also "christian". i hesitate to use the full term because of how bad american christianity has gotten. but i believe in the same god nontheless. every day i feel i have to defend myself from queer people as well

like. i so get it. as i have just established american and european christianity has gotten so fucked up and literally off-script that i'm shocked we haven't gotten another 95 thesis and a completely new branch. it's awful horrible and people who believe in such ideas should not be in power. to the point where calling myself a christian feels wrong. at least in america.

i need ya'll to have some nuance.

firstly the understanding that those who hate queer people, non-white people in any form, women, whatever else. isn't even in the text they follow. people have misused it since it was written. preaching just the verse saying wives should care for their husbands and not the one right after saying husbands should love their wives. taking out verses referring to god's "womb." about adam might not even being a man, as in, more likely nonbinary, the verse about david getting an errection when hugging johnathan. changing verses about cleanliness into women and men not wearing the same cloths. changing verses about cultural codes and allowing a world where people have to resort to prositution into verses condemning homosexuality. [X]

like. you know the matrix. was written as a trans metaphor. then a bunch of alpha sigma grindset rich white boys took it and appropriated it, misinterpreted it, used it to boost themselves and hurt women. it's like that. those people don't make the matrix a bad movie, they just don't know it's a trans metaphor. and trans people who enjoy the matrix are like. normal and cool.

as you can see i am passionate about this. i have all this stuff memorized not only to defend my queerness but my christianity as im doing now.

there are queer christians. there are certainly poc christians as right now, south america and south africa have the highest christian populations, to the point where they're sending missionaries to america.

again i'm asking for some nuance. when i see posts basically saying "the christian god is dumb" or "satan was right actually" and blantent misinformation about what the bible says. like those kind of posts hurt my heart. my god made me queer and loves me for it, i believe in a kind god, most good christians do. i feel like other religions don't get this treatment and it's just to spiritually piss off your catholic parents.

speaking of, in doing so you seem to forget about other abrahamic religions.

i once saw a post criticizing something directly from the old testament, out of context of course. saying god was cruel and the belives were flawed and all this due to one verse. people tend to forget, or not know, that the "old testament" is the tenoch. slightly different book order, same writings.

christians, muslims, jewish people, worship the same god. different names for god, some god, same base. if you make jokes about christianty willy-nilly, you're going to accidentally hit someone else. and even if you don't, you may hurt someone still.

it doesn't hurt because i think it's "sacrilegious" or i think you're going to hell. it hurts because my community doesn't care. my community doesn't see the nuance in people and decided a specific religion is the enemy. a specific group of people is the enemy. ive been marked as the enemy

it's casual jokes to you, to me it's making fun of my god

listen, by all means make fun of the assholes. i make fun of them every day. millionaires who use privet jets than preach and love to overlook the many verses condemning the rich and saying rich people don't go to heaven. people saying that as a woman of god you shouldn't enjoy sex. weirdos online and irl that seem to think patorizing random people will get them to church. dumb white people. it's great. fuckn. mormons and jehovah's witness leaders who are straight up running a cult based on a thread of the original intention. and it's funny because they're the assholes.

but don't attack the base religion itself. understand that the religion isn't inherently harmful, certain branches, beliefs, misinterpretations, and leaders certainly are. but please be kind to the people who are normal

before you make a post saying you're gonna. i dont know 'kill the uncaring god' that you're hurting people like me, any abrahamic religion, anyone who believes in a god possibly. also that's basically my parent, it's like you're insulting my awesome mom to my face bc my older sibling sucks. like thats just mean to her for no reason.

i'm just. tired. im stuck in the middle and i hate that i have to make this post because like. this is my home and my people and im tired of seeing this shit from my peers and family. just. have nuance. care about people. don't just say shit about a religion if you don't know its true.

im tired.

[our-aroace-experience]

ok so here's my ace/arospec story

ace:

i learned about being ace

oh i don't know

12 years old maybe

i searched it up after reading about it online

"aroace definition"

it went something like

"being both aromantic and asexual"

i searched up

"aromantic"

"asexual"

at first i thought it was a bit strange

i hadn't learned yet

to distinguish

between romantic attraction and sexual attraction

because i didn't know

people actually wanted sex

people actually saw someone and went

"wow"

"i want to fuck them"

i had a crush on a childhood friend of mine

at the time

(a guy. i am a girl.)

i'd always assumed i was cishet

grew up in a conservative christian household

slightly offtopic but honestly my parents were great

not stereotypical conservative christians

both allies

they had friends who were trans and gay

i'd checked out queer media from the library

and they were fine with it

anyway

back to the story

so since i had a crush on the opposite gender

i assumed ofc

i was cishet

well ofc i wasn't into sex, i was just a kid

but at age 13

almost 14

i was alone

in a hotel room, no parents, on instagram

that's the only time i could get that

late night phone time

when i didn't have parents around

i found @i.put.the.ace.in.disgrace on instagram

scrolled through every fucking post

on their account

and on the #asexual tag

i related to those posts

like

a lot

a suspicious amount for someone supposedly allo

even though i was just a kid

yeah maybe i'd grow into it

maybe i'd feel attraction one day

but not now

and who the hell was going to tell me

what i could or couldn't identify as

so i tried out the ace label

spent hours and hours

wondering if it was right

if i was really ace

if i wasn't too young

but going back to being allo felt wrong

so i decided to keep the label

the first person i came out to

was an online friend

they were so amazing and supportive of it

i love them so much for that

they said i'd been on their gaydar for a while

(a message i still think about

when wondering if i'm really ace)

felt sick the next day

i'd always been an ally

supported my queer friends

arospec aspec trans homosexual i supported them all

but it made me sick

to think about me

myself

being queer

it was sort of rough

but i got through it

later

came out to my friend and her mom

they were cool about it

i knew i'd be safe

they weren't ecstatic or super happy

but they accepted me

"cool"

that's what they said i remember it

i was a hot mess that day too

stuttered over all my words when trying to come out

and they still accepted me

i love them

later

i decided to hint at my identity to my mom

talked about not liking sex

i checked out a few ace books

from the library

my mom took me aside

i don't remember her exact words

it went something like

"it's natural to be curious

but you can't be ace at 14

you're not trying to be

are you?"

ofc

i managed to convince her i was allo

had to be more careful then

arospec:

i'd only had one crush.

one crush who i'd liked as a friend first.

you see where this is going, don't you?

well

i didn't

i'd heard that aces had not very many crushes

so i assumed i was just Really Really Asexual

and i couldn't be aro hahahaha

i'd been in love before!

aros cannot be in love!

oh by golly i was wrong

i started questioning

(only one crush?

my friends are all over their crushes

plural

and i've only had one??

maybe i'm not as allo as i thought)

i debated over gray-aro and demi-aro

picked demi

it described my experience more accurately

came out to aforementioned friend

then aforementioned online friend

they were chill about it

(fucking love them)

then i 3d printed a black ring

and a white ring

ace

and aro

and this is maybe the best part of the whole experience

i had friends who were stereotypical conservative christian

queerphobic

they complimented my aro and ace rings

and so did my mom

and that made me really happy for some reason

shit that was a long ask im sorry

thank you for sharing! i hope your mum comes around to you being aroace one day

also side note: this reads like a poem it’s so well written!

#our aroace experience #asexual #aromantic #aroace #ace pride #aro pride #ace #aro #arospec #demiromantic #aroace joy! #aroace asks

[sabo-has-my-heart]

hello hello :3 ive been LOVINF ur scenarios soo much lately!! do u think u could write some for zoro/sanji/ace/law dating gn!reader who is aromantic but enjoys dating and doing romantic things (ie. going on dates, kissing, cuddling)? they could either be in a queerplatonic relationship and also aromantic, or in a traditionally romantic relationship but reader doesn't *always* feel romantically towards them/attraction fluctuates? maybe u could include crewmates being a little confused by the nature of their relationship, or navigating the boundaries of a non-traditional relationship? if not thats okay! ik aro relationships can b hard 2 understand for some ^^

Aw, thank you, I'm so glad you like them. I actually finished this a lot faster than I thought. So I don't know much about being aromantic, asexual, demi, pan, whatever sex-romantical (IRL, I'm actually the opposite, I want a romantic relationship but am not particularly touchy). That being said, I did look it up. There's still a lot I don't understand but I tried my best. That being said, please, please, please, please, please! Tell me what you think and give me feeback. I can't learn if you don't help me.

Warnings: GN!Reader, Aromantic!Reader, queer!Platonic relationships

Word Count: 1200

     He’d been your best friend for years, or well, maybe friends wasn’t quite the right term. You weren’t just friends but you weren’t dating either. You enjoyed the comfort of romantic things, enjoyed the warmth of cuddling, enjoyed the fun of dates, but you didn’t have ‘those feelings’ for him, or anyone really. That being said, just because you didn’t feel like that towards him, didn’t mean you didn’t sometimes enjoy the activities included in such a relationship. Was he in the same boat as you as an aromantic? No. But he understood your desire for it and was close enough to provide you with the peace and serenity of such things. Sometimes, sometimes, you wished you could feel that way towards others. It would make everything so much easier if you did. You’d be able to actually date, to tell him you loved him in that way, people wouldn’t be confused by your relationship. They understood when you said aromantic, what they didn’t quite understand was being aromantic while enjoying romantic things. Even still, they did their best to understand, or at least not give you hell for it, you were you, you liked what you liked, that was what mattered. So they let you do what made you comfortable. 

Zoro

     He liked sleeping with you, sprawled out in the warm sun on the grass, one arm around you, one behind his head as you snuggled up to him and dozed off in his arms. Honestly, your relationship worked quite well with him. He hadn’t found anyone he felt that way for and honestly didn’t care enough to look. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in finding someone, just that he was focused on other things at the moment. That being said, he still enjoyed the comfort of having a warm body next to his, it brought a sort of… peace and contentment that he didn’t otherwise get. A relationship with a crew member was always a bad idea in his mind, nor was he interested in them; he doubted any of them were particularly interested in him or simply want to cuddle with him for the sake of physical contact. Well, Luffy might, but Luffy was… interesting. You were different though, the two of you were close enough to share a bottle of sake on a moonlit night and enjoy the romantic things but without needing to be romantic. You did have an understanding that in the chance that he found someone he felt that way for, he could break it off if necessary, but until it was necessary, he was more than happy to fulfill your need for romantic actions without the romance.

Sanji

     At first, he’d been a little hesitant. A relationship that wasn’t romantic? He’d understood that you were aromantic, but he didn’t quite understand your desire for romantic touches without the actual romance. Didn’t understand wanting to cuddle or kiss or hug but not be together together. That being said, as your closest friend, he’d listened to you and was at least open to attempt it on the condition that if he was uncomfortable, you end things amicably. You’d agreed, he was your friend, you understood that he might not be comfortable with such things just as you weren’t comfortable with actual romance. Surprisingly, he found your agreement to be more comforting than previously thought. There was a warmth and tenderness in holding each other, a sort of softness and care in the kisses he placed on the top of your head. The two of you even enjoyed cooking together, just without all the lovey-dovey romance that came with a romantic relationship. Moreover, you seemed to curb some of his womanizing habits. He still fawned over women left and right, but not quite as much. While he might want a romantic relationship at some point, at the same time, he really enjoyed what he had with you.

Ace

     Ace was all over the romantic-sexual spectrum. Some days he was more interested in men than women or vice versa, some days he didn’t want a relationship with anybody, other days all he wanted was sex. The boy’s romantic and sexual preference was so all over the charts it was hard to keep up. But there was one constant. His desire for human affection, his desire to be held. He was touch starved and wanted somebody to love him, romantically or platonically, he just wanted to be held or to hold someone. Meaning that a queerplatonic relationship worked perfectly fine with him. He got to hold you, got to be held, but he didn’t have to worry about stumbling around and being romantic. He could go on a date with you, but have it be comfortable, not stumbling over his words as he tried not to mess things up. The two of you were still friends, maybe slightly more than friends, but first and foremost, friends. This also meant that he had somebody looking out for him. Somebody who would keep him from falling face first into his food, but he wouldn’t have to be embarrassed because ‘oh what will they think of me’. Someone who didn’t mind his dumbass shenanigans and not fret over him getting hurt. Hell, you joined in! And with his whole son of Roger thing, he wasn’t entirely certain he wanted a romantic relationship, a romantic relationship, whether or not he had those feelings, would just complicate things, just make things harder. No, he really liked what you two had.

Law

     The doctor had never been particularly affectionate, meaning that when you came to him with this, he was confused as hell. Why him? He wasn’t cuddly, he wasn’t loving or doting, so why him? That being said, after your first time holding him, cuddling up to him, nuzzling against his chest, he found himself desiring more. He didn’t care much for romance, he wasn’t interested in it, he didn’t have a need for it, and he didn’t have a place for it in his life. He was a pirate and a surgeon, he was fairly cold to a lot of people, he’d done things that some people might call horrible, and he had other things he wanted to accomplish. Romance with anyone outside his crew was a no go and dating among crew members in such a small crew was inadvisable. As a doctor, he also understood the need for physical human affection and interaction, understood the brain’s need to be loved, even if you weren’t romantically interested. This fulfilled both of your needs. He still wasn’t very affectionate outside of his room or office. He didn’t go around holding you or kissing you, wasn’t particularly close to you, but when it was just the two of you, he enjoyed the feelings of keeping you close, of resting his head on your chest. Being the doctor that he was, he’d listened to plenty of heartbeats, but there was something soothing about the drumming in his ear. The crew knew that the two of you had taken to sharing a bed, they didn’t quite understand, but you and Law were happy in your strange non-romantic relationship, so they didn’t question it. 

#one piece #one piece ace #portgas d. ace #fire fist ace #portgas d ace #queerplatonic #aromantic #one piece sanji #op ace #op sanji #black leg sanji #sanji vinsmoke #vinsmoke sanji #ace x reader #fire fist ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader #hiken no ace x reader #hiken no ace #vinsmoke sanji x reader #sanji x reader #sanji vinsmoke x reader #one piece zoro #op zoro #zoro roronoa #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #zoro roronoa x reader #king of hell zoro #king of hell zoro x reader #pirate hunter zoro x reader

[polyamorouscultureis]

hi! i just found your page and i was hoping that maybe i could get some guidance because i haven't seen many people in this predicament and i've scoured the internet. i'm she/her, Z is he/him, and G is he/him. i am currently in a relationship with Z (we've been together for 2 years) and Z and I are both bisexual/biromantic. i met G 6 months ago playing D&D and we've been nearly inseparable since we met, we recently became best friends. G is only into men and so i've wanted a platonic relationship with him for a few months now. i am also asexual. we are all going on a trip to meet each other in a week or so and i brought up the idea to Z of perhaps him and G doing more sexual things and G actually agreed! they are both open to doing nothing, a little bit, a lot, and possibly even a romantic relationship! G and I decided we would be holding hands, kissing on cheeks, laying heads in laps, playing with hair, and all the domestic stuff to make sure i am included during the trip. i am ecstatic over the thought of them becoming more because having G be in my life for longer would be amazing and we would be so much closer to each other (even though we are best friends right now). but G said the other day that if he got in a relationship with Z that the lines between us would be kind of fuzzy in a way. i'm new to polyamory (even though i've identified for years) and i don't know what to define us as? a vee? a closed triad? i'm assuming it's whatever we want to define ourselves as. does triad have to mean that everyone is having sex with each other? i'm especially confused because I am asexual and G and I have the closest relationship that is platonic but not romantic because he is not into women. do you have any advice on going about this or what to possibly call the three of us if this does happen? i don't know if thrupple is the right term either. any advice would be much appreciated and you've found yourself a lifelong follower of your blog! thank you so much!!!

You're absolutely right that you can define it however you want to! To me you sound like a triad, but you could be many things. Labels are weird and the lines between friendship, queerplatonic relationships, and romantic relationships are murky and complicated for almost all of us. Don't be afraid to just do what feels right without labeling it at all.

Also, polyamory and sexuality are entirely different things. People of all sexualities and romantic orientations can be polyamorous - straight, gay, bi, pan, ace, aro, demi, anything. Labels are all just a collection of words to describe experiences and there are no hard and fast rules.

Excited for you, anon!

#polyam asks #advice #labels #asexual #polyamory #polyam #polyamorous #lgbtq #poly #polycule

[adventuringblind]

Dear gods you and 🏍️ are braver than I am with the energy drinks… I even refuse to try more than the original flavor of redbull because I’m that fucking scared… also redbull scares me the least ingredients wise

It’s not that I hate monster, I’m just scared to add more variety to the energy drinks in case i end up addicted more. The possibilities scare me.

And no, I haven’t tried other flavors yet because I’m indecisive af and probs wouldn’t like them anyway… I’m extremely flavor picky (I drink like a sum total of 5 things in life: COLD(!!!!!!!!) water, apple juice, FLORIDIAN(!!!!(don’t ask me why specifically Florida I don’t like anything else)) orange juice, yellow gatorade (don’t come at me plz I’m sorry) and now Red Bull).

And now for a small confession: I’m really bad at thinking about dynamics between people. Which means the times you hear thoughts about pairings for fics from me is little…. I would love to write but as soon as I start thinking about stuff like this (especially as an ace/aro spec individual) I struggle big time. So sadly I’m struggling to provide Max/Osc/Lando thoughts. Sorry :(

Anyways I’m going to bed now and sorry about the constant yapping and long asks from me.

- 🦒

Yeahhhhh the ingredients are kinda trash garbage. But like... they are in a lot of things, so I've based it on a pick your poison kind of thing.

To each their own for drinks of choice! Not judgment here! ... except for the cold water because HOW?! Ice hurts my teeth. They are sensitive okay T_T

Also, apple juice for me. But specifically the kind from Washington because the local stuff is really good, and I get it from farmers markets and the stall is a cute little decorated thing and the people who sell it are so nice.

Anyway...

I, myself, am not on the aro/ace spectrum. But! Understandable. I think I'm more demi leaning? It's like if I had to describe it. Like me and my fiance have known each other for so long, it's kinda like kissing your best friend? But I'm also too logical for most relationships, which is why Para social and imagination all me a little wiggle room.

My partner isn't polyam, but I have been for a long time. But just in the way that I like having other people close in the 'we're more then friends' way but not in the 'we have sex way'. Idk, am weird like that.

THE POINT IS! I see you and empathize. Specifically in the amut department because AHHHHHHHHHHHHH??? How do people write smut with no plot? How do they write these words? Because I can't figure it out T_T

It's so much easier to allude to it and just do the build-up and emotions and whatnot. Sometimes, I can make it work, but those fics take me months to write, and I refuse to go back and read them.

Tis why I usually end up writing angst.... and ya know, gore. But that's fine because to each their own!

ALSO DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR TALKING TO ME!! litterally say whatever in my inbox because FRIEND! INTERACTION!

Weird to think people actually wanna talk to me even if it's like this 🥺

#🦒.anon #Ren's.inbox #Ren's.thoughts

[punksdocrimes]

Hey Aro Tumblr — there's this question that's been bugging me for months that I NEED an answer for. I couldn't ask it on Reddit bc I was site-wide permabanned for being too silly (said Nazis should be disheaded instead of simply disarmed 😧) and idk any other aro communities that I could ask. It only just occured to me that I could ask here.

OKAY SO - context:

I am demisexual. I have known this for a while. I need emotional and/or platonic attraction and connection before I can think ab having sex with someone. Sometimes I also just become completely detached from sex and don't want anything to do with it for a while. It's nothing crazy or groundbreaking — literally just demisexuality.

I have always felt this way sexually, but I never really considered that I could be demi until a friend came out as demi early last year and I was like "wtf that's me". I've been confident about my demisexuality since then.

So THIS is where it's relevant for you aromantic scrungly liches and prophets and wizards out there — for my ENTIRE life, I have always considered a strong platonic connection to be NECESSARY before I can think ab entering a committed romantic relationship. Platonic attraction is necessary for romantic attraction for me. It builds off of the platonic love.

This is considered demi-romanticism, right? I've never interacted with the aromantic community much at all because like, I used to consider myself hyper-romantic and the idea that I could be aro freaked me out in that "I'm not aro but oh God what if I am" existential kind of way.

Anyways — it never crossed my mind that demi-romantic was like... A thing.

However, I don't know if I'm actually demi-romantic?? Bc I have the same capacity for romantic attraction and love and yada as the average alloromantic, for me it just manifests from deep platonic attachment? IS THAT DEMI? Or do you need to experience romantic attraction in a noticeably lessened, weaker, or different way to be demi?

Idk if that makes sense I haven't slept in a day but like, I just want to know if I'm demi-romantic or not — even though I still experience the same potential for romantic attraction as an alloro, only that I need platonic connection to be built before romantic connection can be formed.

Tl;Dr — I want to know if demi-romanticism works in the same way as demi-sexuality; you can have the same desires, libido, whatever as the average allo or more you just require emotional and platonic connection before you can fuck

Thanks in advance I love you guys (platonically)

#aromantic #aro #ace #asexuality #aroace #demi #demiromantic #aro help #aro questions #demisexual #demiromanticism #demisexuality #queer questions #help

[toastchild]

OK, I'm not sure if I can phrase everything I want to say correctly, but I'll try anyway: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!

Like, really!

Your art is just GORGEOUS, both old and new! And I love love LOVE that you included a bisexual trans male character! (SERIOUSLY, AS A BISEXUAL TRANS GUY MYSELF IT MEANS A LOT TO ME!) I just love Tristan so much, and (what seems to be) his li'l crush on Gabe is just adorable!

Although, to be honest, as much as I love those two (being laid-back and "looking for a dream boy" are two things I can heavily relate to), in terms of personality so far my favorite is perhaps Alizée, and design-wise it would be Noah. Like seriously, when it comes to Noah I can't decide if I just want to look like them or date them??? *fanboy scream* THEY'RE TOO COOL!!! (>////<)

Regardless, I just adore your comic, and everything about it. Everything looks great, everyone is adorable, the diversity is just AWESOME! Bianca and Penny's interactions are just so awkward, funny, cute, and relatable! I just love it! Thank you for bringing a little joy into my life as a non-straight, non-cis person looking for "rainbow" content.

Compliments aside, though, there's something I want to say. I just recently noticed you changed how you identify as, and I have to ask - how did you realize you were aro AND ace? If I remember correctly, you used to identify as aromantic and lesbian (sorry if that's not true, btw). Was it a case of you realizing you only liked girls in the aesthetic sense in spite of being open to intimacy and/or a relationship with them?

Sorry for the weird questions by the way, you don't have to answer them if you don't feel like it. I don't mean to be invasive, I'm just genuinely curious about such things, considering I am neither asexual nor aromantic exactly, and I have never felt any true semblance of being a lesbian (since I'm a trans boy who likes more than one gender, I could not feel any connection to the word "lesbian" when I learned about it even though I'm really into ladies).

If it somehow alleviates whatever discomfort I might have brought to you by bringing up a (possibly) unpleasant subject amidst such praise, I'd like for you to know that I have kind of aromantic/asexual -ish values myself. That is, in spite being a huge fan of romance and, er, "bedroom bonding," I think platonic love should always come first, and I always feel aces, aros, demis, and everyone in the ace/aro spectrum deserve better both in real life AND in fiction.

Anyway, I'm glad your art, comics, and characters exist, they're a treat to the eyes and a warm embrace for the soul, especially for LGBT+ people. I hope you continue to bring smiles to peoples' faces by being your lovely self, and I hope you always find people who do the same for you.

You are a rare jewel, and I wish you good luck on your journey as an artist, as a person, and as a human being.

(P.S. I just realized i made this message WAY too long than I had originally planned. I really went overboard with this one. Oh well... *shyly walks away*)

DUDE!!! I can't thank you enough for such an absolute essay I'm seriously so grateful for the time it must have taken to write this!! All your thoughts about my characters make me so so happy aaa I can't believe it <333

You're right, I used to identify as aromantic and lesbian and I still think women are very lovely! You're spot on, I'm definitely more into girls in an aesthetic sense I think they're funky and cool but god I would never want to date anyone.

I actually realized I am definitely asexual recently - basically w/o getting too explicit someone offered me the option to try "it" and it freaked me out so much it kind of set off an "ohhhh okay, I'm definitely not a sexual person" moment. Honestly, I kind of grew up being told I was too young to identify as asexual and to just wait until I'm older, but bro I'm older now and I still feel the same way so 🤠🤸‍♀️ Honestly I think my thoughts are if a label is resounding w you - give it a try, nothing has to be permanent! You're allowed to change your mind, there are no rules.

Anyway!! I just wanted to thank you again for writing to me and making my day, I hope you're absolutely thriving <333333

#long post #toastchild asks #<33333333 #ily!!!!

[22degreehalo]

Imagine if aces and aros talked about gay people the way gay people talk about us.

"Don't forget: gay people are totally valid and they are welcome in the AIQ community!!! 😊 Sure, they might not experience aphobia like aces and aros do, but people shouldn't have to prove they're Oppressed Enough[tm] to be included! :)"

"To be honest, hating on gay people makes no sense to me at ALL lmao. Like aphobia I get, but for a straight person to insist that everyone MUST get a partner NO MATTER WHAT, and then throw a fit because it's the wrong kind of partner?! I don't know man, I just think it's only control freaks who could really be bothered, yknow?"

"And after 'Demi-Aces and Demi Gods' we are proud to announce our first ever gay panel! It's called "GG: homosexuality 101" and it'll answer any questions you might have about what it's like to be gay (no, they aren't all polyamorous!) ending with a rousing discussion about the place of the G within the AIQ+ community as a whole. Following that, we have 'Asexual fashion history'..."

"Oh my god I am SO tired of homophobia discourse. Like my guys literally NONE of this matters in the real world. Just log off and interact with your real-world community and touch grass, okay?"

"Um... no offence, but why is talking about gay people so important to you? We're discussing aspec oppression and you're very obviously derailing. :/ like it is just NOT the same thing. If you want to talk about gay issues (like I get that it could feel uncomfy when people expect you to have a different kind of partner than you want) make your own post, please."

"Oh, I get this question a LOT haha! Don't worry, it is SUPER common for young aspecs to invent gay attraction in an attempt to repress their own aspecness! If you ever decide that that's what happening, and you were just dealing with internalised aphobia, it's okay! You're still a valid aro/ace <3'

"But like. How... would 'homophobia' even work lmfao. Like you're being restricted from couples' benefits by?? Being in a couple the wrong way???? Literally nobody is going to throw you out of your home for having a child with your partner. 🙄 So unless you can provide ANY evidence that gay people are oppressed FOR BEING GAY (i.e. lacking m/f attraction AND having same-gender attraction SIMULTANEOUSLY) then uhhh maybe you should stop talking over people who are ACTUALLY oppressed. (No corrective rape doesn't count lmfao that is literally just aphobia.)"

"Welcome to AIQ pride 2023!!! Gays and lesbians are allowed but y'all are on thin fucking ice 🤪 Ugh it's just a joke lmfao. It's not serious. Jesus I wish y'all WERE oppressed sometimes, maybe you'd have an actual sense of humour 💀"

"Ummmm sorry, but can you take down your post? This celebrity is REALLY important to the aspec community and I really don't appreciate you implying he could be gay :/ Like he literally already said he doesn't like girls. What more do you want lmfao he's aroace. Why is it so important for you to erase that and force him into an amatonormative relationship? Creepy 😬"

"Sorry but I'm just not comfortable seeing talk about 'homophobia' on my post. I repressed my aroaceness for a really long time by trying to convince myself I was gay and it was super traumatic for me. But even if I hadn't you should've known how this reblog might come across to any young aspecs struggling to accept themselves."

"DNW: gay/lesbian characters. No offence but they're always boring ass issue fics written by teenagers trying to prove how Progressive they are. It's always so ridiculously forced and ooc. Like who CARES if you're gay anyway lmfao just go to a bar and have Good Allo Sex or something, you ain't special."

"Mmmm personally, I think that 'homo' and 'hetero' are more like modifiers, really...? I mean, what matters most is whether or not you're actually IN a relationship. The kind of relationship itself just doesn't really matter all that much. I mean, that makes sense, right? 'No shirt' is a wayyy bigger difference from 'blue shirt' than 'red shirt.' So personally I think homosexuality is valid but it's not an identity, it's just a modifier for allosexuality. :)"

"...ugh, look, what's probably going on here is there's some kind of confounding variable at work, like gay people are more likely to be younger (since it's a pretty new identity) so of course their overall wellbeing is lower. That's just logic. But it just doesn't make sense for gay people to be oppressed: they have their identity validated by straight people all the time. So unless you can explain how you can be constantly validated, but still oppressed, these numbers mean nothing."

#some ppl are gonna be like 'but str8s do say this!!!' #like. Y EAH. #gay ppl treat aspecs in many ways similar to how str8 people treat them!!!! #that is not the own you think ut is lmfao

[thechaseofspades]

aromantic ask game: 6, 18, and 19?

Alright let's get it!

6. What is your favorite part about being aromantic?

I think it's just being satisfied with who I am now. Before, I was all like "oh no I'm weird again" which is pretty common since I'm already autistic. But now I can just chillax because I don't even have to worry about being different than everybody else. I can just embrace it. It's very validating.

18. Do you have any aro-spec headcanons?

I've joked about this before but I'm pretty open to headcanons of basically anybody as aro. It's such a diverse spectrum that encapsulates so many different factors, many of which would be near impossible to portray in media anyway.

Character shows any sort of emotion other than romance? Aro-spec.

Character insists they've never loved anybody until the major love interest comes into the picture? Demi.

Hopeless pining that never goes anywhere for status quo purposes? Lithro.

You can play this game all day. It's very fun because sometimes the accidental aro actually fits really well. Pretty much, if they're not explicitly portrayed as allo in canon, they're fair game.

19. Is there a song that is very aromantic to you?

I feel like I'm being baited into plugging "My Head is an Animal" and specifically "Love Love Love" but I'm totally not gonna do it because that's cheating.

A song I've latched onto recently is "Born This Way". It came out when I was growing up so I know what the times were like at least in my neck of the woods, and it feels very progressive for its time looking back. It's not an aro song of course, but it's still a pride song that just astonishes me with how big it was for 2011 sensibilities. It makes me feel good about where we're headed.

I'll add that since aromanticism itself isn't as well known, I tend to associate it with other more common themes. Anything about platonic friendships, anything about being different in a good way, any of that meshes really well with aro for me.

So yeah, hope that answered some stuff. Saying words is fun. Thanks for the ask!

#ask and you shall be answered #aro week #aromantic

[bylightofdawn]

I have managed to write a little bit today and have managed to get on a weird Jango tangent where he's rolling his eyes over Myles going to lunch with Mace. And about how he really doesn't get what all the fuss is about and lawl

Somehow I am once more in my aro/ace/demi-ace Jango Fett headcanon era. I love me some Jango ships don't get me wrong. But the dude quite literally cloned himself in order to have a kid rather than finding a willing female to knock up and spent his entire adult life alone and without any real romantic ties.

Sure, I guess there was whats her face in AOtC and I feel like there was something in a comic with them but it might have just be about them being hunters together and my memory is failing me.

Either way? I can DEFINITELY make an argument for aro-Jango or some shade of ace/demisexual. I don't know what the future holds for him as of right now, we shall see in a different fic perhaps but for now he's definitely in his aro/ace stage and finds everyone's preoccupation with sex really weird.

Also, he's like 15 in this fic, I ain't writing anything even REMOTELY romantic for an underage kid and if someone mentions Obi-Wan I might actually choke someone since the kid is like 6 or something. SO NO ROMANCE FOR JANGO ANYTIME SOON, KTNXBAI

I'm actually kinda excited to write ace Jango mainly because as someone who identifies as ace, I want to see more representation in the fandom. And thankfully, there are some really good options out there.

And ironically I write a lot of romance and even adult sexy-times despite being ace. Though really, we non-aro and maybe even some aroace enjoy a good squishy romance as much as the next person. We also enjoy reading smut or at least this particular aces does. That being said, I would love to explore more of this in my own writing. I really enjoyed doing that Alpha-17/Shaak Ti fic I wrote because Alpha-17 is 100% demisexual with some hard leaning towards the aro-scale except in the case of Shaak Ti who is pretty much the first real sexual attraction he ever experienced and that grew from him living with her for years and building a friendship with her first. So he's a pretty straightforward demisexual and it might be fun to actually explore someone even more on the aroace spectrum.

Choices, choices

#el writes #asexual visibility #star wars needs more asexuals #I will die on the hill of jango fett being our aroace KING #not really but that sure does sound pretty fucking cool right? #either way we need more asexual visibility in fanfiction #this message brought to you by your resident ancient ace fandom elder #asexual jango fett #my dude quite literally reproduced asexually #just saying #let me get you your crown my king

[unlikelyjedi]

Attack on Titan Pride Headcanons (Scouts Edition)

I like Attack on Titan. I put off watching it for months and when I was finally peer-pressured by all my friends and my sister, I fell in love!!!

So of course I'm gonna make a pride post!! This will cover all the... important scouts?? All the ones who don't immediately die within the first 2 seasons at least. I'll have a separate post for Warriors, so if you see Reiner and Bertotto missing, that's why.

Oh yeah, and spoilers for... the whole show??? Even in a headcanon post, it'd be very hard to not spoil anything, so read at your own risk. Also the way I spell character's last names is arbitrary. There's a different spelling every time I see it for Eren. And don't get me started on Bristol.

Disclaimer: These are my personal opinions. This is only one way of engaging with the media, and if it's not your way or you disagree, then that's chill. Art is Subjective. I'm just here to have some fun!

Okay, now to the actual post!!

Eren Jaeger (he/him): Bisexual, Ace-spec

I need to preface this by saying I'm Eremin trash and I think they're lovely together. I also believe Eren and Mikasa have good chemistry even if I don't ship them.

Eren isn't sure how or why he feels attraction, but when he does, he really loves them. To an extreme degree. He holds on for dear life, and then some.

Armin Arlert (he/him): Gay

A lot of people like the bi/pan headcanon, and while I think that works, I guess I don't personally see it. I don't really think he has chemistry with any of the women in AoT but that's just my subjective view of it. The only woman I feel like he'd have chemistry with is Mikasa, to be honest. And that seems like the exception rather than the rule.

Not only am I Eremin trash, but I also love a healthy dose of Jearmin!! They cute!!

Mikasa Ackerman (she/her): Bisexual, Demi

Oh the chemistry she has with everyone. Jeankasa, Mikasasha, Mikannie, Mikahisu, good god there are so many good pairings for her!!!

I don't think she feels attraction until she's got a good connection to the person. Hence why she fell so hard for Eren.

Jean Kirschstein (he/him): Bisexual

Again, so much chemistry with so many people.

JeanMarco, Jearmin, EreJean, Jeankasa. So!! Many!!

I don't think he realized he was bi until he met Marco, and then it just kinda clicked. Oh, men are hot, too.

Constance Cornelius Springer (he/him): Aro/Ace

To this day, I can't decide if he likes everyone or no one, but for now I'll stick with this headcanon.

He's just vibing. He's plenty close to people, but that doesn't mean a relationship. He's fulfilled just with his close friendship with others.

Sasha Braus (she/her): Bisexual

Food first, relationships later.

Her and Niccolo are cute and she's got good chemistry with Mikasa. But only Niccolo could provide her with her true love: meat.

Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss (she/her): Bisexual

This might be a controversial take. Lesbian Historia tends to be the consensus in fan circles, but I personally think she likes more than just women. Although I do believe she mostly likes women.

Maybe it's because I like the idea that she was eventually able to move on from Ymir, and that she wasn't stuck in perpetual despair. Maybe I like the idea of Farmer-kun (who I've affectionately named Huckleberry). I like that even though she'll forever hold Ymir in her heart, she's allowed to let another in. idk idk.

Ymir (she/her): Lesbian

MY BABE!!! She's absolutely a mean lesbian and she is very gay and very much loves women. She wants to marry Historia and love her forever!!! Bless her for being here and existing, I love her!!

Marco Bodt (he/him): Gay

I'm cheating a bit. I know he was going to the MP, but I don't care. He's an honorary scout in my mind.

Why is he gay? Vibes. But also the way he smiles at Jean?? Can someone smile at me like that??

Erwin Smith (he/him): Gay

I don't have a reason for this. Just my own personal opinion. He could also be bi. It's all subjective. He just love Levi.

Levi Ackerman (he/him): Gay??

I put question marks because I don't think he's attracted to women, but I do think he could be attracted to Hange, who isn't a woman, but also is not a man. So he could be bi?? But I suppose I think of bi as being both men and women attracted along with other genders even though the base definition is simply 2 or more genders.

Anyway, he just love Erwin.

Hange Zoe (they/them): Genderqueer!! Bisexual!!

Actually Canon!!! Both of These!!!

I already knew about them being genderqueer, but I was very surprised that the Bisexual part was also canon!!! Although how weird that Moblit wasn't on there as a pairing.

Also them having a crush on Pieck is very cute, the hell?? We love to see it!!

Moblit (he/him): Pansexual

He loves regardless of gender. This also falls under the "vibes" rule. I just feel like that fits for him.

That was a lot!! Next time will be the Warriors!!!

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #eremin #mikasa ackerman #jean kirschstein #conny springer #sasha braus #yumihisu #marco bodt #levi ackerman #hange zoe #pride month #lgbtq #bisexual #genderqueer #gay #lesbian #pansexual

[rebelyelll]

Chapter 32 Author's Notes

Annnd I'm back with Act 2! Writing a summary for this chapter was hella challenging, as I'm not sure how to intrigue anyone with the act's premise lol. In any case, I'm glad to be back. I've been steady working off and on on this, even after just getting ten teeth yanked out of my skull a few days ago. No, that's not an exaggeration; I'm dead serious. The grind is real, man.

The first scene featuring Stroheim and Indila has been rewritten probably FIFTY times. Getting the description of the cyber world down was fun and rewarding, but man I'd be lying if I said it didn't kick my ass. In my head, I was trying to think of how a person navigates an actual computer and use that as a basis for mapping it out. Like Indila walking into Black Orchid equating to mouse-clicking on a software program or whatever.

The toughest part to write about, though, was Indila hacking into other devices in order to access the vault for Stroheim. I kept stopping and asking myself: "Wait. How the hell are they supposed to hack other devices through a program that isn't in use at the moment??" Oh, my head.... oh, my head... so much to process...

I guess it can be safe to say that Indila found a loophole in the network. Please don't ask me what that is lmao! You may feel free to theorize about it if you like, but I don't know how to explain it. I'm not a hacker, so I wouldn't have the faintest idea.

Joliet backstory had me in tears to say the least. I HOPE TO GOD I nailed the aro rep correcty because if I didn't, R i P to me... I think that's the part I'm worried about the most. The hacking isn't a big deal, but the aro rep is imho. I swear to god if I got that wrong, I'm gonna bawl my eyes out.... See, I'm demi/allo. I am on the ace spectrum, but I'm very romantic. So, if you have any critique you want to toss my way about the aro scene, please! Feel free to! All concrit welcome.

I figured since I didn't expand on other elements with imperialism much in the first act, I went ahead and took it a step further. In the Seven Nations, it's mandatory that everyone learns French. That being the case, many other languages are endangered. Hence the reason Ramone from Chapter 2 in the first act spoke French instead of Spanish.

References

The chapter's title, Soul Standing By - a song from Billy Idol's Whiplash Smile album

Indila - the French singer that sings "Ainsi bas la vida"

Alain à Rome - the surname is a reference to the French 80s song, "Week-end à Rome" by Etienne Daho

Black Orchid - the song "Black Orchid" on Avantasia's "Mystery of Time" album

Scarlet Pimpernel - an instrumental by Black Sabbath

Siouxsie Capulet - named after Siouxsie Sioux (I know I intend to make this reference in the Chapter 16's author's note, but whatever)

#author's note #whiplash riot

[winter-spark]

Someone I follow was just talking about her struggle in knowing if she's actually aro or just her priorities just differ from the general expectations of society and she's just questioning.

And I feel so seen tbh.

Like it's hard. It's so hard sometimes. Like don't get me wrong I'm a fan of shipping too but like watchimg media sometimes the added in romance sours the story because it feels like they think it more important than friends. They act like friendship and romance are separate and romance ranks above it and it tends to be something that feels to be the case irl too but to me that's just not the case. The person I follow said that for her friendship is more important and she doesn't get why people crave to be in romantic relationships when they have friends and that's exactly it right? Like for me friendship is first and foremost but also for me romance is soooo close to friendship anyway.

Like literally to me the only difference is really the intent/motivation and mood behind it. Like like in the simplest terms you can go to the movies with a friend that's normal. So is going to the movies with a date. What's the difference? Like you're going to spend time with them and enjoy something together either way. Both are your person. There's just a slightly different mood when you set something up as a date. But that doesn't mean it's more important that a friend hang out.

But then it's like. Am I the only one who sees things that way? I at times fantasize about a happy love story but I wouldn't say I crave romance. As a matter of fact sometimes it sounds very off putting to me. When I "fantasize" about it it's honestly more like "what if this thing led to me meeting the love of my life tee hee" kinda way. Like I'm definitely a hopeless romantic most likely. But also sometimes it's like what if that person had a crush on you and I'm like please don't. That's my thought sometimes. Even up until 8th grade I was so sure I wasn't even gonna look for a relationship until I had a successful career. (That only sorta ended because I told one of my friends that and she was like "but everyone will be gone by then" and all that did was shake my world and I've never had a solid future plan again.)

And of course that doesn't mean I'm on the aro spectrum nor the ace spectrum. Heck I've had two full crushes and 2 half crushes. But the thing is I've never just found people attractive(I can tell when people are pretty but I still don't find them attractive lol) or even really wanted to date them. The two full crushes I moreso did but even then I didn't. I didn't even think they were "sorta cute" until I liked them. And my goal in telling them I liked them was to be rejected so I could move on. I had a whole friendship courtship first. They were people I was friends with first.

Actually part of the reason I think I've question being demi is because of that and I saw someone say that being demi for them they get squishes (friend crushes, people you really want to be friends with) and that of their few crushes all of them were squishes first (not that all their squishes became crushes but all their crushes were squishes first) and that more inlined with myself. They get a lot of squishes I get a lot of squishes. They were friends with their crushes first. Same but.

But like. I don't know that I am demi. I've had a celebrity crush and of the info I've gather people who are demi don't tend to? Mine was a strange case and I got over it rather quickly. But does that make me demi? Does falling for Kurt Cobain after reading abunch of his quotes and his wikipedia biography to the extent that you wished you'd gotten to meet him, that more people were like him, that you do the math to figure out how old he'd be make one demi? Not neccessarily.

So ye.

Uhm. This is going on longer than I entended I don't know where I was going but I haven't eaten breakfast and I feel my brain shutting down so I'm just gonna end it here. Thanks for reading this if you did. There's no conclusion.

I mean... The person I follow found comfort in knowing certain things to be true about herself even if she doesn't quite know if she falls under any label. I guess I find comfort knowing well seeing that there are people questioning the same things I have. Now to find people with other similar hesitations to me on other sorts of labels

#Messages from the swamp #I guess #long post #personal thoughts #Questioning

[igarbagecannoteven]

i wish you would write a fic about a character realizing they're asexual while they are in a relationship and then discussing that with their partner in a healthy way where they're partner goes "oh!! ok!!" <33

mmmmm yes excellent <3 i actually have two ace fic ideas rn, one of which is actually a wip and the other is in a cardboard box on a back shelf in my brain carefully labeled "the definitive ace fic: do not open until you've reached writing level 70+". the latter one is if i ever get to that level going to be about someone falling in love while also discovering the fact that they're ace, but i'd originally thought they'd both be ace (bc i find that easier to write since i've never really had a detailed convo with an allo person about asexuality and i'm not sure i could just pull it out of a hat) but now you've got me thinking,,, maybe the other person could be allo. but of course that wouldn't be established relationship which is implied in your prompt. i would love to write many ace-centric fics bc i do think ace representation is so so important and i'd love to write more characters with all sorts of shades of asexuality, so yeah that'd be something i'd consider writing!

#my only problem with writing ace fic that represents my flavor of ace is that i still have some parts of my identity that are up in the air #i want to write something that matches mine bc while i've read a few fics (like the one you wrote for me) that are adjacent to it #i've never read something that was *exactly* like mine #but at the same time bc i'd want to write a fic that was about romance as well as about being ace and coming to terms with being ace #which makes things complicated bc i don't know how my kind of ace-ness fits into a relationship #i don't know if i would be comfortable making out with someone i've never even kissed a person so maybe i don't even like that and just #think i would like it based on what i've read/been told #i mean i still look away from most kissing scenes in movies lol #and could i even do a relationship in the first place? or am i actually grey-aro/demi-romantic? i mean i haven't had a serious crush since #8th grade that's not exactly normal is it? but then we get into the whole 'well i've done a heck ton of repression since then' #which is a whole other bag of worms #i really do get so much joy from knowing that i'm ace and i want to share that bc i know many people don't have that experience #but i'm kind of scared of discovering if i'm aro or not? and i can't tell if that's like internalized aphobia or something else #like i resigned myself to the fact that i may never be in a romantic relationship a long time ago before i even knew i was ace #but it's still something i think about sometimes. when i feel like no one's watching. and idk if i'm ready to give that up entirely #woah this got real heavy real fast i am so sorry #this was supposed to be positive i swear #i just had to read this book for class and this one chapter made me feel like i was staring at future me and not in a good way #and it's kinda been haunting me #but all this to say i want to make sure i fully understand my ace-ness before i write something that goes into the discovery process #not like i'm going to wait until i kiss someone like who tf knows if that's ever going to happen #but just until i really get my introspection on lol #answering mail #jess #so sorry for dumping this on you i may go back and erase these tags in the morning

[sergeantsporks]

I know a lot of the Hunter ships just feel weird to me because 1 he has never interacted with any of the people that he is shipped with and 2 a lot of them act like Hunter is in a relationship with X character, his issues are now fixed when that isn't how relationships work. Friendships don't even work like that. But a lot of the ship fics act like Hunter will just be magically fixed and that more issues won't arise. Like boy is a people pleaser, at least to those that are important to him.

That's it!!! You've hit the nail on the head of my issues with fandom culture and shipping!!! I'll be apparently the first sign anyone has seen of an aroace Hunter headcanon because everyone would rather ship him with someone he's never met rather than look for an option that doesn't involve romance, and then someone feels bad about enjoying the headcanon bc he's popularly shipped!!! And no one thinks this is weird, or wrong, or unfair!!! That's just fandom culture, baby!!!! You know how there will be those narratives where everyone gets paired up in the end regardless of actual chemistry, and it's really annoying? Fandom basically does that by immediately extrapolating romance from nothing for any characters not neatly put in relationships by canon, but it's okay now bc it's queer, so like. Duh. Superior.

Okay, in all fairness. There are PLENTY of Hunter-centric fics out there that explore familial relationships and no romantic ones, I'm sure. But I unfortunately have to sift through fifty billion ambiguously-tagged ship fics and filter out 15 different ship names/ways of tagging the relationship to find them, and THEN I still have to filter out fics with content/writing styles that bothers me. It's... not worth the effort for me. I'll just write my own.

And YEAH, not to get back into the amatonormativity/allonormativity thing (I am fooling no one, you've enabled/set me off, and I'm totally enjoying venting), but that's also, like. So common. For them to be like "Yeah, well, love will fix them!" (To quote Lilith Clawthorne: Vomit). And that's just. Hrngh. it bothers me. Because romance isn't a cure all, and "love will fix them" comes DANGEROUSLY close to "you just haven't met the right person yet" in my personal aroace opinion, especially when I hc the struggling person in question as aroace. I think a lot of the angstier ship fics actually do explore the relationship struggles Hunter will probably have, but... it always feels more like it's for the Relationship Drama™ than for any kind of actual exploration of Hunter's character. Which is FINE, okay, it ACTUALLY IS. I've been kind of anti-this for this post, but actually, fanfic writers who do this: It is YOUR fic, and just because I personally would not enjoy reading it, doesn't mean that it has no value. Not everything has to be deep, sometimes a ship fic can BE a ship fic without having to be deep, we write fanfiction for fun. Heck, half of the writing requests I do don't make sense in canon context. I wrote a whole story where they had an evil laugh contest, and relationships were assumed, past therapy was assumed, you don't HAVE to set all that up. Sometimes people wanna write some fluffy date fics for a character where no one has any issues, and you know what? That's okay. Creating a scenario where it's assumed that the issues have been fixed and these two can have a healthy relationship is fine. Sometimes people wanna write Relationship Drama™ that just uses character flaws for drama and not heavy character exploration, and you know what? That's okay. "'Yeah, well love will fix them' is a dangerous concept when exclusively used" and "It's okay for writers to not always explore each relationship in all of it's entirety when they just wanna write a lil fic" are statements that can coexist.

That got away from me, sorry. To summarize:

- Amatonormativity and allonormativity bad

- Fandoms are overly obsessed with shipping to the detriment of aros, aces, demis, etc.

- "Personal issues go away when you're in a relationship" is ultimately a harmful concept when overused, but it's okay to create scenarios where the issues have already been resolved.

- Narrative that needs to neatly pair everyone up is annoying and it's just as annoying when done in fanon.

- I will die on the Aroace Hunter hill, Dana, I'm begging you to at least not put him in a canon relationship.

#toh #the owl house #aroace #aromantic #asexual #amatonormativity #allonormativity #fandom #toh hunter #the golden guard #shipping #asks #aroace hunter #the aroace hunter revolution