our-aroace-experience

[our-aroace-experience]

#our aroace experience #aroace reblogs #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride

[our-aroace-experience]

hi I have a friend who is also aroace and we're quite close, and I don't know if I want to date them or just stay friends, like it might be pressure from seeing all my allo friends date but idk

hello! it could be a squish, a platonic form of a crush! it could also be queer platonic attraction! it could also be romantic attraction. it can be difficult to tell, but if staying friends with the person is important to you, i recommend not mentioning it until you know for sure!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride #advice

[our-aroace-experience]

whats aroflux?

aroflux is an identity on the aromantic spectrum that describes someone whose aromanticism fluctuates between being more alloromantic and more aromantic! hope this helps!

#our aroace experience #aromantic #aro #aroace asks #aro pride #questions #aroflux

[our-aroace-experience]

Am I still asexual if I DO get horny? I just don’t like touch, can’t stand it. But I’m still aroace. I find people attractive, I read a lot of smut. It’s just I don’t want to be in any of those situations

you can definitely still be ace! you can also look into the label aegosexual, that might fit with your experiences!

aegosexual- having sexual fantasies/ enjoying sexual content when not related to yourself, or feeling a disconnect from yourself and sexual situations

#our aroace experience #asexual #ace #aroace asks #ace pride #aegosexual

[our-aroace-experience]

uh okay this is kind of a minor emergency because I may be totally screwed in two days

so I'm in high school, and I don't get crushes or like anyone (not sure if I'm just a really late bloomer or on the spec? probably the latter) but there's this guy who I'm kind of friends with in my math class and orchestra who is a year younger than me and I learned from a friend in that same grade that he has a crush on me and intends on asking me out. I've never been asked out before and I don't know how to decline without coming out. And I know it's going to terribly awkward because a) apparently a significant part of that grade knows about this (all before I did) and b) he doesn't know that I know and c) I literally cannot avoid him if things get embarrassing.

Anyway. I'm going to see him in two days and he might ask me and I don't know what to do please help

i’m sorry i’m getting to this so late! i hope it’s worked out for you!

my advice for the future or anyone else in a similar situation is just to politely say you aren’t interested! you don’t have to say a reason or anything, just let the person know that you don’t share their feelings!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride #advice

[our-aroace-experience]

Some of my favourite responses to PDA are "fucking allo", "non fucking allo", "fucking romantic" and "non fucking romantic". I change it per person to fit where they fall on the aro/ace spectrum and its always very funny, especially when someone has recently gone through an identity crisis and I change it. 10/10 would recommend

sounds fun lol

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride

[our-aroace-experience]

A podcast run by an asexual, an aromantic, and an aplatonic called "AAA" and every time an episode starts, one of them welcomes the audience by screaming into the mic

"hello and welcome to AAA!"

#our aroace experience #aroace reblogs #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aspec #aplatonic

[our-aroace-experience]

I am perhaps the most confusing aroace to exist, 1st because I've become high libido since I started transitioning, but I am still extremely averse to others' approaches, romantically or sexually. Also, I am aego, and don't mind enjoying erotica of all sorts on my own, but I absolutely loathe being caught up on others' conversations about sexual topics, and feel very uncomfortable when people push me or fool me into talking about sexual topics with them (like with double entendres, which I am very slow to pick up on). Also, I am very averse to romantic things, finding it annoying and sickening how much romance is a common thing around me, getting irritated at PDA from others, and absolutely loathing when people try to drag me into convos about love or whatnot, both because I don't care and I don't want to care about it. But I still get attached, in some way or another, to others in a way that is similar to romantic but I still don't want any of that icky lovey-dovey stuff. Also I have actually experienced actual sexual attraction very few times in my life, to people I've never met IRL, and I'd never even approach anyways because I respect strangers' privacy (different from the sorts that come onto me). When I try to explain this to people just gets them raising all eyebrows and even wondering if I've got something wrong in my head, and even I think at times I've got something wrong, because like, a paragraph to explain my experience feels excessive and complicated and dumb, like I'm overcomplicating things or whatnot, and I've gotten called all sorts of things, from cold and uncaring, to supposedly "obviously just deeply depressed", to judgemental and even "religiously repressed" (I am not religious and couldn't care less about Christianism or the existence of God). It's annoying, and I tend to just not talk about it and try to avoid it all together, and ditch people who push me on those topics, because I hate having to explain myself this much.

i’m sorry you have to explain so much, you’re still valid!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride #long post

[our-aroace-experience]

once in third grade all the other girls* were talking about their crushes and they asked me and i was like “uhm…. hunter! yeah, i like him…” and for the rest of the year i pretended i liked him. now, several years later, i cant look him in the eye cuz allonormativity killed our relationship

*i was still identifying as a girl at the time

i’m sorry to hear it, it’s terrible when friendships are ruined from that!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride

[our-aroace-experience]

I'm trying to get more aroace love on my feed. Do you have any accounts you'd like to shout out?

the only one i follow is @aroacesafeplaceforall but anyone with suggestions feel free to share! also sorry for the @ i hope you don’t mind!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride

[our-aroace-experience]

I think I'm like cupioromantic?? Like I've been in relationships but it's only been because they asked me out n I don't think I would've ever asked them out, like I content with our relationship before, and at the same time I enjoyed being in a romantic relationship w them even if I don't feel romantic attraction??

Like I enjoyed it n I'd gladly date again but idk if i feel romantic attraction only like aesthetic attraction?? Or 2 like someone's personality??

I'm thinking I'm cupio romantic and cupio sexual (ik the acespec part) LIKE I ENJOY RELATIONSHIPS BUT I WOULDN'T TRY TO START 1 BECAUSE OF PARTLY MY LACK OF ROMANTIC ATTRACTION (I THINK??) AND ALSO BECAUSE OF MY FEAR OF REJECTION?? (I have rejection sensitive dsymorphia)

BUT I LIKE BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS N I WOULD ALSO WILLING ENGAGE IN POLYCULES/POLYGAMY/ECTT IF PROMPTED

Idk I don't really care about labels nor do I really use them but it would help to have one 2 relate 2 others with, I just love lovin people, platonically or queerplatonically or romantically

you could definitely be cupioromantic!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride #long post #cupioromantic

[our-aroace-experience]

Hi! So this is probably going to be a long and messy rant, but I had a fight with my allo friends recently about the feelings I have for a co-worker, and I just want to know what fellow aroace people think about this situation.

For context: I have a coworker that I have feelings for, but I'm not sure exactly *what* those feelings are. I spent a long time overthinking whether my feelings where platonic or romantic, and I decided to tell my best friends so I could get their help or support.

When I mentioned my coworker has a partner, my friends shut me down completely.

They told me to forget about it, that I shouldn't be friends with my coworker, and that I needed to keep a distance from said coworker.

I explained to them that I just wanted to be friends. I told them I didn't want a romantic relationship with my coworker, I wanted a fully platonic relationship, similar to the one I currently have with my best friends.

None of it mattered. My friends were more concerned with how my coworker's partner would view the friendship.

They said since my coworker is in a relationship it doesn't make sense to spend time with them one on one outside of work. They even went so far as to say if my coworker developed feelings for me it would put my coworker in a tight situation.

It felt like they were saying if I felt romantic attraction then that meant something was going to happen, even though I have zero interest in a romantic relationship. And it felt like they were putting a stranger first before putting me, their friend, first. So I tried to further explain my feelings and why I was so confused about everything.

And my friends said that if I saw my coworker as just a friend then I shouldn't be questioning my feelings :')

I was heartbroken because in almost a decade of friendship this was the first time that I felt my friends didn't respect, or at the very least didn't understand, my aromanticism.

I feel like I can never talk to my best friends about this type of stuff ever again. And how am I suppose to? I can't express how much their reaction hurt me.

They said I was overthinking things, and they're right about that, but my friends also don't understand how much of a big deal this was to me.

They even kept conflating my aromanticism with my asexuality and making comments about my aceness, even though asexuality wasn't apart of the conversation at all. I know 100% I am not sexually attracted to my coworker. The question was whether I'm platonicly attracted or romantically attracted. And even if my feelings are romantic, I don't want a romantic relationship.

I want to be friends with my coworker. I want to hang out with them and learn more about them. Is that really such a crime when I don't fully understand my feelings?

I guess what I want to know is, am I in the wrong here? In this situation, am I the problem?

i don’t see why being friends with someone would be bad, but i hope it’s worked out for you!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride #long post

[our-aroace-experience]

Aromantic Aromatic Tea and A&A Cards Art by @lavevv-heyy <3 commisioned her for CF stuff and have this as some of the commision <3 go check her out on insta @lavevtea

#our aroace experience #aroace reblogs #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride

[our-aroace-experience]

Being aspec is not knowing if it’s a crush or if you want a qpr with them or if it’s a squish

very true

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride

[our-aroace-experience]

how do i know if i'm aroace? idk if this is the right place to ask but idk who to ask

unfortunately there is no perfect way to be able to tell! i think reading through some aspec labels and their definitions could help you decide if that sounds like your experiences! anyone with other ideas feel free to add them!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride #questions

[our-aroace-experience]

i see a lot of positivity posts like "aroaces can still be in relationships, its okay if you're aroace and still want a partner" and dont get me wrong, these kinds of posts are good and aroaces who are/want to be in relationships are an important part of the community, but,, i feel like i dont see enough posts about aroaces who dont want partnerships at All. maybe people assume this is the "common" aroace experience so theres less posts about it specifically, but with how many people seem to want to wash us out by making posts like "aroaces can still love!! aroaces can still be in relationships!! we arent all heartless!!" i just think nonpartnering aroaces deserve more acknowledgement and positivity than they currently get.

being nonpartnering can be a wonderful thing too. being nonpartnering is so important to my aroaceness. to stare in the face of a heteronormative/amatonormative couple-centric society and say "no thank you" is so freeing and im proud to be nonpartnering and aroace.

nonpartnering aspecs are very valid and welcome!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride

[our-aroace-experience]

im demi-cupio-grey romanticsexual. how does tht work?

there are two people i like. i would be willing to do stuff with them, and i want to do stuff with them (cupio). kinda (grey). its only people i get close with though (demi). basically, theres some people im close with i would mind doing stuff with. in a romantic way? yeah idc. in a sexual way? yeah idc. in a qpr way? yeah idc. but only if im already close to them.

tlbr after i hit a certain intmacy level, its up to the other to chose what path they take if they take any and i do not case witch rout or how far they go down.

one of them ends up marrying me? nice. one becomes fuckbuddies with me? nice. one becuase best freinds or qp partners with me? nice.

tldr; idgaf about how your relationship with me but only after weve hit a certain point.

i’m glad you’ve found what works!

#our aroace experience #aroace asks #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroace #aro pride #ace pride #cupioromantic #demiromantic #greyromantic