#i cant escape those fucking scenes dude

[ozymoron]

i'm making a gotham edit and looking for when the ed kink scenes were and the first result is your blog

ah. wonderful.

#crying but only a little bit #please dont tell me this is how im going to be remembered in this damned fandom #i cant escape those fucking scenes dude #0 days since the last time someone brought up the kink scenes

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

ppl keep talking abt the lunch scene, and for that matter the cattons behaviour in general, as if its for the purpose of "saving face" or maintaining appearances. but the thing is, like. for what fucking audience???? like its so weird to me that ppl still see it as a deliberate performance with a clear nefarious goal of smth to gain, rather than like. the obvious behaviour of those traumatized by a lifetime of performing. they do not know how to do anything but perform. the shakeapeare references are everywhere. all the worlds a stage. the little box with their puppets that turns on and their motions are so creaky and frantic its nauseating. theyre the catton players. constantly trying to escape but not knowing how. farleigh being the only one not in that box isnt a coincidence either. hes the only one who us able to escape, not only olivers death spree, but the performance: hes got his bloody american feelings. venetia and farleigh and felix and even pamela all being hypersexual and everyone interpreting it as them deliberately using sex as a tool for gain, despite the fact that elspeth literally says that venetias been that way since she was 14. hypersexuality is a trauma response. elpseth being obsessed with other ppls trauma when she clearly cant process her own, and the same with felix. dude the cattons are deeply fucked up, but not in the cool way, theyre not the abstracted caricature of rich folks that yall want them to be. they are EXTREMELY real. and that is what makes them so fucked up!!!!! arguably oliver is the least real out of all of them and thinks the most like a catton should but we know thats a lie bc we see his pov. hes just as unhinged and unmoored and confused and unstable as they are!!! hes just convinced himself hes like them (cool, clever, detached, always one step ahead) when theyve convinced themselves theyre like him (normal, down to earth, humble, "real"). its so meta and i love it.

#finnposting #saltburn #finns saltburn tag

[all-i-do-is-live-in-daydreams]

WROTE MORE NOTES WHILE WATCHING THE MOVIES LOKI IS IN. THIS TIME FOR THOR: RAGNAROK. THESE ONES TEND TO BE LESS SERIOUS WHICH MAKES SENSE SINCE THIS MOVIE ALSO HAPPENS TO BE LESS SERIOUS. IT WAS STILL FIN THOUGH.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wonder if thor's looking for infinity stones was another of "odin's" (loki's) orders

ragnarok is one of my favorite thor movies though it is less serious than the others. it has a sense of... silly billyness.

heimdall is not there dude. dude got banished. they replaced him with karl urban

skurge has to run alllllllllll the way down the bifrost now

it's a statue of loki, thor. duh.

THE PLAY 😭😭😭 I'll never get over this shit. loki is so fucking funny

"oh shit" YEAH OH SHIT

loki was able to act as odin perfectly before but just loses that here completely like he is barely able to keep his cool

idk if anyone has noticed this. I only noticed after someone pointed it out, but loki doesnt move out of the way. thor pushes him out of the way. loki was just going to stay there and let mjolnir hit him

he looks so good oh my god this movie has some of loki's best looks I just want to Eat him

love that he poked the piece of paper and whispered loki because honestly it's plausible that he'd just turn into a piece of paper

stephen loves dramatics doesn't he?

this scene made me laugh so hard I cried the first time I saw it 😭😭😭 "I have been falling!! FOR THIRTY MINUTES!!"

die odin

the way loki turns and stares at odin after he calls them BOTH his sons

"frigga wouldve been proud" literally kill me it would hurt less. I hate they made odin say things that dont justmake me angry

odin loves dropping crazy jaw dropping earth shattering news and then dipping. he just loves not dealing with his problems and leaving them to someone else

"no. I'm on a different path now. this you must face alone." back to him just making me angry. fuck you old man. just like I said. loves not doing with his own problems THAT HE CREATED.

LOKI'S FACE DOMT DO THIS TO ME. WHEN ODIN SAYS "I LOVE YOU, MY SONS." HIS JAW LITERALLY DROPS HE'S IN SHOCK IN DISBELIEF OF THSOE WORDS SOMEONE HUG HIM AND LOVE HIM FOR ME I CANT TAKE THIS

he fucking oogwayed them that's insane bro it's actually fucking insane 😭😭

HOW WAS IT LOKI'S DOING. HE JUST PUT HIM IN A SENIOR HOME WHERE I BELIEVE HE FUCKING BELONGED AND THAT'S BEING NICE

HELA 💖💖💖💖💖

bye bye loki see you on sakaar

yall don't know how crazy I went when she just fucking massacred the warriors three

trash planet

I FUCKING HATE THAT THEY TOOK DOWN THOR. THE GOD OF THUNDER AND FUCKING LIGHTNING. WITH A FUCKING ELECTRIC (BASICALLY LIGHTNING) ATTACK. IT DOESNT MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE

I do love loki, but he really did make a mistake calling for the portal to be opened. it seems like a very obviously wrong move and uncharacteristic of loki. idk maybe that's just me. then again he does run so.

jeff goldblum is a treasure to the world

one of his hottest looks. whoever the designer and artists were for this movie have my fucking gratitude for giving me this loki.

how was loki there for weeks and just never saw hulk??

cate blanchett is everything

I domt understand why she's so... loki like. the green and black, the blades, even her magic is green.

i do wish the movie was a little more serious. like loki saying to thor "it hurts doesnt it? being lied to. being told you're one thing and it all being a fiction." it's a very serious matter and it's just swept away and a joke is made immediately after those words are said

"our sister" OUR.

"guess I'll just have to go it alone. like I've always done." AND THOR JUST GIVES A SARCASTIC FAKE SMILE LIKE HE CANT BELIEVE HIM. THOR!!! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU !!! also you cant blame loki for hela. she would have escaped or been freed at some point.

LOKI'S REACTION TO SEEING HULK 😭😭

you tried thor, but unfortunately you're not natasha. as much as I hate that storyline.

"Yes! That's how it feels!" 😭

makes me even more pissed about the way they shut him down. HE LITERALLY WAS CREATING LIGHTNIG IN HIS BODY AND THEY TAKE HIM DOWN BY ELECTROCUTING HIM!?!?!? DOESNT. MAKE. ANY. SENSE.

also idc thor was winning that fight. only reason he didnt was cuz they did that to thor.

hate to see him go, but love to watch him walk away (loki)

i really do love watching him fight

loki looks so proud and fond like of the snake stabby thor story

THAT'S NOT WHAT HE ALWAYS WANTED. DO WE FORGET HIS WORDS DURING THE FIRST FIGHT BETWEEN THEM WE SEE? "I only ever wanted to be your equal!" actually going to lose it rn. COUNT YOUR FUCKING DAYS THOR. COUNT THEM.

I do think thor is being honest about how he thought the world of loki, but never enough to really look, to truly see his brother. never cared enough to dig deeper. and the mistakes loki made have just made it easier for thor to further ignore the deeper problems with his brother. you can love someone dearly, but still never truly see them. I wonder if knowing of thor's love makes it better or worse for loki. to be so loved, but for it to still not be enough to have been seen, to have been helped at all. or easier for it to be a lie and never loved at all, for it makes more sense to loki, because if you loved him why would you never dig deeper? why could you not see what was wrong? what was being done to him? how he felt? maybe that's why he was so adamant in the past, brushing thor's words away because otherwise that would mean even then it just wasnt enough. and it's more familiar to him too. the feeling he sits in, the knowledge that he's not loved or understood, that those around him think so little of him. and sometimes familiarity is easier than taking a new and brighter path.

he could be more. but it's hard to do that when everyone around you sees the worst in you and your stuck in a shadow your entire life. ignored. it's why I love mobius so much. he sees what others don't in loki and actually pushes him to be better and is there for him. mobius is truly the number one loki apologist.

THE THUD OF BANNER HITTING THE BIFROST 😭😭😭

LOKI IS SO DRAMATIC "Your saviour is here!!"

I LOVE WHEN THOR FINALLY STARTS USING LIGHTNING LIKE THIS. ALSO LOKI'S PROUD GRIN WHEN HE SEES HIM.

I take it back THIS is loki's hottest look

"if you were actually here, I might even give you a hug" " I'm here" AND THEN YOU DON'T SHOW US A HUG ??? REALLY???

the look of horror on loki's face when the ship appears. thor looks curious, but loki.... he knows who that ship belongs to and you can just see the dread fill him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

END

#I AM NOT A THOR HATER DESPITE MY COMMENTS TOWARDS HOM HERE #he just angers me sometimes with his behavior and treatment of loki #you cant honestly stand there and tell me he couldnt have been better towards him #loki god of mischief #loki ragnarok #marvel loki #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #tva loki #mcu loki #loki tom hiddleston #tom hiddelston loki #tom hiddleston #thor odinson #thor ragnarok #and i may be angry with how thor is towards loki but i still wish for them to be brothers and to rebuild their relationship #like they were going to do qnd were doing before SOMEONE SHOWED UP AND RUINED IT #i think after rewatching all these movies ragnarok has moved down and the 1st thor is my favorite now #i still really like this movie but from my new perspective this movie was a bit too much on the comedy side #not even gonna get into love and thunder i dont wanna talk about it. funny but.... eh #but i wish ragnarok couldve been a little more serious and i think they messed with loki's character a bit #tho I've heard taika was told to leave his character alone so maybe im somehow misreading his characterization in this one #thor of asgard #thor movies #thor #thor the dark world #valkryie #brunnhilde #bruce banner #loki

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE S4E18 "In A Mirror, Darkly Part 1"

oh my god its the freaking scene from the tng star trek movie. of vulcans landing and meeting zefram.

im sorry the vulcans getting shot lik ehtat was horrifying but also wt fis this non intro??? what is THIS WHAT IS THIS INTENSE INTRO MUSIC OH MY GOD OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD MIRRORRRVERSESESE FUCKKKK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HOLY SHIIIIIIITTTTTUHHHHHH FUUUCKKK MEEEEEEEEE THIS INTRO GOES SO HARD THOUGH HOLD ON WAIT WHAT THE FUCK OH M;Y GOD I STARTED CRYING INSTANTLY WHEN IT HIT ME OH MY GOD IM FUCKIGN CRYING RIGHT NOWWW nah mirror linda park is lame boo

i like scruffy hair archer not hedgehog man XD PORTHOS NO COME BAKCK BEAGLETHOS linda and archer idk about that but also oml how archer caught her knife

oh my god first time we getr to see on screen tholian

im sorry but when archer said "break him"… sorry but some of hte best anger ive seen in post tos star trek series is archer. eugh hearing a dude as the computer voice is so odd majel come bacvk man if i could draw my face while watching all this ent mirrorverse haha blakc haired archer interesting OH MY GODDDA AAAAA ITS AN NC CONSTITUTIONAL CLASS STAR SHIP OH SHIIIT

dont tell tpol to shut up rude FUCKING DEFIANTTTTT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT SHAPE THE BEAUTY OH MY FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAA THE PHAAAAASSSEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR FUCKKK M EMMEMEMEE IM JUST SQUEALING THIS WHOLE EPISDOE THE THOLIAN WEEBBBB FUCKKKK

THE FUCK ING BRIDGEEEEEE IM CRYINGGGGGG IM YELLING AJOFDASIJOAGJ PLOEASE HELP ME SOMEONE PLEASE HELLPP MEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ITS THE BRDIGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCKING HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA the drigee the chair the sounds thje buttons the fucking everyhgign the screen the lift IM DYINGGGG this music at the end literally movie ending music fuck me

THE FUCKING GREEEEEEN SHIIIIIIIRRRRRRT IM FUCKING CRYING IM IN TEARS HELLP MEEEEE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUC FH THE PANTS IM im gonna faint oh my god im going to me l t help help me dude. what a fucking honour it must be to get to wear those clothes, hold those props, press those buttons, see those lights, hear those sounds… from where it all began….. what a f u c k i n g honour. G GG G G GORRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

whooAAAAAAAOHAAA seeing that animated gorn hol y shit i miss the disco eyes and the dress BUT IS HE WEARING THE DRESS THOUGH? THE DRESS? sorry seeing archer slide in from archers let was funny they should make a fucking star trek escape room. please. please. why has this not been done yet. PLESE. oh m;y god lok at the interiouir i want my house to ook like this i dont fucking care THE COMMUNICATORSS no but that green shirt works great on archer oh my god tpol has eye shadow THE FUCKING EYE SHADOW ugh the og phaser looks so nice to hold it looks so nice in the hand ugh i love all of it im fucking i cant contain myself OH OHHHH THATTTT GORNNNNNNNN THOUGHHHH??? NO I MISS HIS DISCO EYESSSSSS BRING BACK THE DISCO EYESSSS OH MY GOD HE HAS THE DRESSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR HEEEE HASS THEEE DRESSSSSSS FUCKKKKKKKK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 3D CHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS nobut gorn looked the BEST in tos… am i wrong though. am i wrong. oh my fuck.

UGHHH BEARDED VULCAN UGHHH MY GOD THE WAY THE DEFIANT LOOKS SWOOPING IN FROM THE RIGHT LIK EHTAT OH MY GOD SEX XY OH MY GFUCKING SO SEXXXXYYYY UGHHHH SHES SOO MUCH BIGGER TAHN NX I MEAN YEAH OFC BUT TO SEEEE IT LIKE THAT IS NEXT LEVEL OH MY GOD THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH THIS IS TOO MUCH A TREAT I AM KJUST 'IJAYHTEI

im not into mirror linda park and archer lmaoooo ugh yesss the colourful wooden slices for data chips yesss AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE WAYYYY HOSHIIIII HOLDS THE KNIFEEEEE SULLUUUUU MY BAAAYYYYBEHHHHHH oof sorry but to see tpol punch like taht is so ummfph please i want to eat a vulcan knuckle sandwich

nah not my linda park sorry but damn she LIVES her roles love it. oml EMPRESS PARK ill TAKE IT.

#mirrorverse #archer #captain archer #linda park #hoshi sato #gorn #tos #im fucking dying #star trek #star trek enterprise #enterprise #thoughts #reaction #text #almalvo

[macgyvertape]

Vampire Chronicle Movies liveblog/thoughts

Before watching both these movies I had only seen the 2022 show and seen a few posts about the larger fandom. It was very interesting to watch both as part of my "watch any vampire movie a person recommends to me". My commentary on it got long enough I've split it into it's own post

Interview with the Vampire (movie)

Huh going from the show where Louis is a black man to the movie where Louis is a white slave plantation owner with a dead wife & child fundamentally makes him a different person and the framing of the story different. 

I know the 90s were a lot more limited in what they could show of gay romance but no church/wedding scene at all :( 

Lestat still has a great sense of fashion sense in this. I haven’t read the book and don’t know the lore but I’m surprised there’s no mind reading or telepathy in the movie

Was Louis the original confederate vampire where fans are like "he isn't racist look at him free those slaves that one time" and ignore everything else? 

I found the graphic violence in show IWTV crossed the threshold of making me uncomfortable a few times, but it was interesting to read that some audiences found the violence and gore in this movie uncomfortable when I didn’t blink twice.

Claudia in the movie being trapped forever at an even younger age is more horrifying. She can’t even cut her hair and have that bodily autonomy

I’m shocked at how quickly and easily Claudia goes from “we should kill Lestat” to following through and “succeeding”. 

Lestat returning only to be set on fire by Louis protecting Claudia, this is so different than the show, and they escape a lot earlier than WW2. 

The comedy of Santiago’s ceiling walk felt so out of place 

Oh wow there’s a full female nudity scene in the theater performance, I was expecting just a standard vampire movie topless scene

The vampires busting in was so overdramatic with the music. Funny to see the sun room and recognize it it from WWDITS. 

What a fucking brutal way for Claudia and that other woman to go, I think this scene as Louis is walled up is the horror element I found the strongest, because it's just so emotional

Good on Louis for killing all those vampires. Santiago tried the "teleport behind him" and it didn't work at all

This scene between Louis and Armand is SO CHARGED

I think it's interesting what movies Louis watches; Nostferatu, Gone with the wind?, Superman

Random helicopter but I was shocked how weak Lestat was and how Louis was numb enough to just leave him

"I want what you have" a very different Daniel Malloy

Lestat attacked Daniel?! Very on the nose music "I'm a man of wealth and taste" this was not how I expected the movie to end AT ALL

Thinking of this alongside other media that’s gotten a remake where people’s entry point is the newer adaptation, its hard not to watch this and compare it to the show version. Of course the show version has a longer runtime to explore the characters and could be explicit vs the 90s queercoding, so it feels like apples and oranges to compare the two but I prefer the show versions especially with Daniel Malloy. A friend who doesn’t watch vampire movies said this reminded her of “A League of their Own” for similar 90s movie that was queer coded vs modern show remake that is open about it.

Queen of the Damned:

My roommate after seeing the trailer: "Oh no early 2000s really got to them (derogatory)"

"[The world] sounded better" then it's extremely mid rock

Lestat's singing is awful. I cant tell if it's the actor's fault or the directing. (Looking it up: seems the front man for Korn did the singing)

There's a paranormal group that knows about vampires?! What’s their survival rate?

I thought Lestat killed his Maker (but Lestat is also a lying liar who lies). Marius looks incredibly generic like just some dude, I think it's the short hair and this movie's cheaper costumes. 

Its very funny trying to picture this B movie level plot happening with the tv show

It took half the movie for Akasha to appear then her dance scene feels very male gaze. Disappointed she never really got any characterization

I thought the weird flying bit was sex but it was just flying

All of Jesse's lines sound so stilted, is her whole thing she studies vampires so much she’s horny for them?

Oh hey its Disturbed “Down with the sickness” the best music in this movie (aside from the fiddle bit)  even with only 10 second of “Ooh, wah-ah-ah-ah”

All these vampires attacking him onstage, wouldn’t that also break the masquerade?

The fight choreography this whole movie has been laughable

The movie is more interesting headcanoning Lestat’s desperate call out to other vampires as a need for Louis to notice him and come back

The best thing this movie did was the number of times vampires stood in the shadows and had their eyes glowing before walking forward

Jesse’s bra strap poking out during this dramatic feeding scene kind of kills the vibe

Why is Akasha so into Lestat she could do better, and the fact she has like 3 full scenes despite being the titular character is really disappointing

Rating: better than Morb but worse than Twilight (I like alt rock)

#the vampire chronicles #iwtv #queen of the damned #mac watches movies #vampire movies

[disco-cola]

dude my era depression is so bad again at the moment the only thing that would help me is literally someone finally inventing a time machine and then offer like a 30 day free trial in which i could choose to just stay or come back to today completely disillusioned which would at least end my era struggles but otherwise at this point idk what to do it doesnt help to just dress that way and decorate my house that way and listen to the music when it is srsly impossible to ever have my dream life i would have wanted to be in a band or a tour manager or a music journalist or a radio host or vj for mtv when they were still cool and if all that failed i could have at least tried to get a hot boyfriend in a rock band whose music i love and go on tour with them and just hang around the scene somehow and i know i technically could do all of that today but honestly i think doing that would make my era struggles even worse bc i would just compare it to what it was like in the 70s 80s or 90s and what ive read in countless books and articles and even fucking personal comments under youtube videos of people who lived through it (i kinda feel the only people writing about how bad those times were are the ones that are even younger than me who werent there either like as if today is that much better with politics and laws that only go backwards but most peoples accounts of their youth in that time end with i would go back and i miss it) and just still not be happy also i just cant imagine being in or around the music business now with fuckin social media and the internet (i know the internets been around at least in the 90s and was already more accessible then but obvs still not like today) like this and just not being able to forget "these arent actually my favorite bands and im just compensating" would still make me unhappy and i know it might have been very hard as a woman in the 70s and probably 80s too (even tho many women entered the work force back then and started working in fields that used to be dominated by men) and i could not have done what chris o'dell did (she was a personal assistant at the beatles apple in london in the late 60s and then became a tour manager in the states in the 70s for the stones, santana, bob dylan, elo, queen and more...) or not have been someone like debbie harry or stevie nicks or joan jett but i could´ve tried and otherwise could have at least found an escape of a boring hard working class life by going to shows of the bands i love (when they were in their prime, not them being old and some of the og lineup already gone and ticket prices worth a months rent). being around people who are into the same stuff as me because its just whats popular. i cant do that now. i wish i had at least been around and in my 20s for the late 80s and early 90s grunge and metal and hardcore scene bc that at least would have been something new and exciting and even as a woman you could find work and establish a position in the music business (like vanessa warwick, julia valet, both julie browns and karyn bryant did at mtv). i also dont know what anybody could tell me to make it better. the only thing that helps me at this point is people saying they feel the same bc it makes you feel less alone and isolated :/

#rant #im literally sorry for being so negative #but atm it randomly got so bad again and ive had such phases again and again in the past 10 years but every one felt like the end #like i just wanna give up #i have barely eaten in 2 days bc im literally too depressed rip #i remember like 5 or 6 years ago i tried telling a therapist about it and she just didnt say anything to this even tho its my main problem #like most people just do not / CAN not understand it

[tigerdrop]

in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that

ta-dah

ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11

so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)

basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out

now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME

he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)

the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"

(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)

vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping

jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off

and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away

and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try

(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise

and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him

unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey

now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.

and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.

(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind

so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)

but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this

lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play

but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later

and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not

i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic

it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)

it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.

and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"

and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"

normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff

its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!

i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?

well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro

anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)

“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion

and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head

gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is

and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair

so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.

and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).

benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is

benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful

so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried

point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best

benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.

he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words

hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus

benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher

he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.

gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!

but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.

anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.

for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.

and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.

gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.

the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!

gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.

benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth

and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—

and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.

then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.

once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself

he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.

“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”

“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”

and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—

except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—

and—

oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.

then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”

“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”

“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”

“im not a bad dog!”

“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”

(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)

#this is so far from finished b/c A) im a coward now and B) typing qith my left hand sucks so i dont wanna do it right now. Sorry #writin stuff

[not-close-to-straight]

HI HELLO IVE JUST CAUGHTEN UP

quick confession firrst: i read ch 3&4 backwards bc i forgot i hadnt read ch 3 before i read ch 4. im out of my adhd meds and its taking a toll lmao

BACK TO THE HOLLERIN

that shoot out scene was fucking BRILLIANT. i just finished a romance novel that had an "action scene" in it that was.... disappointing. but then to turn around and see wade go absolutely feral on those boys??? oh man!! my favorite parts probably had to be shooting the dude through the bar (gross real life image GREAT movie image), the bit where theyre gonna send him down the river and he wakes up and kills the reat of em, and surprisingly the part where he kills weasel too. i thought that would make me sad bc ive always loved their relationships in other fics but here... it just felt right. like the image of an absolutely battered wade limping out of st margarets and climbing onto arthur, PILES of bodies behind him with no survivors?? incredible

and PYM my lovely cranky hank. i love cranky hank, thank you for giving him to me, i will never have enough. i can't wait to see what he has to say about wade coming to his doorstep in ch 5 lmao

okay okay onto my SECOND favorite part which is PETER my beloved. i love this pete. i mean... learning to become an escape artist because of his experiences?? sitting there and cataloguing the alphas with nothing more than a look???? and fucking reeling Francis IN and then casting him aside was some MASTER manipulation and i can't believe francis fucking fell for it, what a bitch 😂 also i loved pete covering up his tell!! thats so so clever, i love little details like that! oh and the way you didnt detail petes escape? you just cut to it through francis' pov kinda??? oh that was some good shit. ive said it before and i'll say it again: this verse, you've really honed in on this movie/camera aspect of writing and i LOVE it. i can physically SEE the jump shot from francis to where pete was tied, then the racing shot from francis howling to pete running away and then the zooming shot to the little town of hex on the horizon. its.so.good.

okay i think i'm done now 😂 i loved these two chapters (if you couldnt tell) and im falling in love with these two boys even though they arent spending any real time together which is a wild approach to a romance story but one im LOVING. i cant wait for chapter 5!! (thankfully i wont be able to read it out of order this time 😅)

THANK YOU!

I have definitely been disappointed by "Action Scenes" in romance movies and fics because alot of times it seems like the two tropes can't co exist without one being seen as "unnecessary" (usually the romance, let's be honest) and I am really trying to avoid that in this fic. Like Peter and Wade are both having an adventure that will eventually lead to them coming back together but I'm also trying to layer in that romance so when they finally see each other again it just clicks into place vs the typical movie scene where all the sudden one minute the two main characters are apparently into each other for no other reason than they happened to be sharing the same space.

So I wanted Wade's shoot out scene to be SO INTENSE but then in the middle of it, he's still "tell me where my Omega is" and even when he's half dead, he's still thinking about Pete. Okay and I'm so glad everyone has loved the shotgun through the bar thing. That's one of my favorite tropes in action movies, shooting someone through the wall, in fact my favorite one is in Mr. and Mrs. Smith where Angelina Jolie's character shoots through the wall and damn near kills Brad Pitt and then goes "still alive, baby?" idk why it's so damn funny but it always has me in stitches every time.

I almost didn't kill Weasel cos honestly the guy is a great character. Wholly chaotic and barely keeping it together but GREAT and usually in my fics he's a good guy. But for this one yeah, I wanted that "scorched earth" feel to Wade leaving St. Margaret's-- bodies and blood and gunpowder and the lone gunman riding away into the hills.

I know that this version of Peter is pretty wildly OOC but on the other hand... I feel like maybe he isn't. Everything I attribute to Peter in this AU- being able to size up a situation in a matter of minutes, always having an escape plan, stealthy skills that would help in a scary moment, being able to pretty much figure out how dangerous some one is or how easy they'll be to talk down-- I feel like Spidey!Peter has all the same skills. He might have superpowers but you still don't survive in NYC against honestly wackadoodle super villains without being super smart and being able to read people well and read them quickly. In this AU he got and uses those skills as a whore, but I feel like it's not that far off from how he has to exist IRL.

And YES I purposefully went with the cut scene to Peter's escape partly for the "movie" feel and partly because we'd just come off both a scene where we SAW Peter putting together the details of his escape (loosened knots, money, etc) and then a detail heavy scene with Wade so we didn't need to be bogged down in more.

Plus that parallel of Wade barely alive riding away and Peter literally riding for his life, both of them off into the darkness searching for each other but not quite finding each other... it's so good.

Thanks for this comment! I love when people see all the little details I put into the chapters!

[transsexualhamlet]

Ok, so it I've been seeing a bit of negative response to the anime's ending being Slightly Different to the manga, even though it's still ongoing and well I will defend the anime 100 percent. I think both are equally amazing.

The thing that I've seen people be mad at mostly was Sherly still having to run after and find/catch Liam after this shit already went down instead of just, like, being together after that, and it's understandable. I get that- you know, the point was that problem was solved, yeah?

Yeah, uh, in the manga.

But there is actually a small difference in the bridge scene itself that changes things that makes me actually defend this. If what happened was switched, it wouldn't work. But because of it, everything as a whole made more sense.

In the manga, the point is that once Liam realizes that Sherly genuinely cares for him, he actually regrets what's happening. He's ready to give sherlock a chance. But the problem is that Moran fucking blew up the bridge and it is, in fact, falling apart. Sherlock is holding onto him, it cant support both of their weights. So he has to choose Sherlock, even though he doesn't really want to die anymore, it's a tragedy kind of thing.

So in this sense, it makes perfect sense that after this, when Sherlock catches him and they survive, they get to stay together after that because William has accepted it.

But in the anime, Moran never did anything except watch. The bridge wasn't falling apart, William just. Fell backward. And was caught by Sherlock. He's perfectly capable of going back on his choice now, it's not that hard and it wouldn't kill Sherlock. In the anime, William just isn't ready to confront his feelings about it, and just like. Cuts a perfectly good escape off because he's scared and stubborn and Sad.

So the fact that he would conceivably run again and take a long time to be caught makes perfect sense with this context of the fall. Sherly catching him still does change things- he clearly is accepting that he has to live now, and he wants to be found, and he knows after all that Sherly does care for him- he goes to reichenbach so sherly can find him. He just has to let time pass and accept everything so he's ready for that.

I think both of those outcomes are equally viable, and doing this in the anime just makes way more sense than introducing a new fucking arc. I wouldn't have really liked them being together all along with how they did the bridge scene here- the anime bridge scene goes with the anime ending and I like it just as much as the manga.

I also really have to give it to them for. Actually including Reichenbach. Like in the manga- I mean, it's not like the author didn't know what they were going to do, they had fucking BILLY THE KID in the FIRST CHAPTER COVER, dude. They knew they weren't going to put in reichenbach at all and still it's like. The first panels of the manga? That doesn't really make that much sense, and I'm honestly glad that they put that in the anime, even just as an end scene. It works really well, and i just. I loved this, and I'm loving the manga continuing as well.

#rowan's hyperfixation essays #rowan screams into the void #moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty

[grayintogreen]

WIP WEDNESDAY

[panicked slurping of wine through a bendy straw]

So this week has not been a good writing week except for those three random fics I wrote that I love so very much, but that’s okay! I intentionally crafted my Whumptober Project to accommodate all 31 prompts without having to worry about one a day. And honestly, it’s not that bad all told. I’m more stressed about work than I am my hobby. Like dude just let me CHILL, work. Please??? Fucking inventory.

Anyway, I’m ONE SCENE AWAY from finishing Chapter Ten of the Creedemption fic. At a rough estimation, it’s gonna maybe tap out at 11k, which is hilarious for a chapter that is mostly relationship building, but also I love it.

So here’s a scene from this chapter, wherein Beau and Molly have some Real Talk.

Beau stopped a few times to check the walls for any indication of thieves’ cant. “So not to be your therapist or whatever, ‘cause I’m not qualified for that shit, but is this just about drugs?”

Molly froze midway through knocking on a stone wall to see if it was perhaps illusory or otherwise fake. “What else would it be about?”

“Escaping your metric fuckton of problems that you are so pointedly not talking about?” She turned to look at him, and Molly became acutely aware that the alley entrance was very far away and this side had a dead-end, so if he wanted to flee from this conversation, he’d have to get past Beau, who was probably not going to let him leave without a fight.

He played himself, basically. 

“I don’t have any problems,” he lied through his grit teeth.

“Bullshit. You melted a guy’s brains.” Her eyebrow was up so far her piercing was almost touching her hairline.

Molly groaned and slumped against the wall. “How many people saw that?!”

Beau shrugged. “Just me and Caleb.”

“And Caduceus, apparently.”

“Yeah, well, he sees everything.” Beau ran a hand over her face. “So what’s going on, Molly? Is it Cree?”

He slumped further until he was sitting on the grimy stone of the alley and could not be arsed to care about what it might be doing to his coat. “No… I think it was always gonna happen. Probably. I dunno.” He kneaded the heel of his hand into his eyes. “I think it’s… the tattoos. The ones that aren’t tattoos. The marks. Whatever.”

“The eyes?” Beau knelt in front of him and pulled his hand away from his face so she could examine the two in the snakes. “So these things give you crazy superpowers?”

“I guess?” He made another noise of anguish, softer this time. “It’s so complicated. I’m…” He bit his lip. He hadn’t even told Caleb this yet- only Fjord and Yasha had seen him wake up from his nightmares. “I’m havin’ dreams. Dreams of this… this city. This horrifying city. And all these voices. I think whatever the hell Lucien was mixed up in, it’s trying to bring him back. They keep wanting me to-to wake them up.”

“Wake them up?” Beau squinted harder. “Molly, that sounds crazy.”

“No,” he murmured, sardonically. “I thought hearing voices was the sign of a perfectly sane person.” He took his hand back from her. “Regardless, they’re wakin’ up without me… doing anything. Three of them. Three out of nine.”

“And if all nine wake up?” Beau rocked back until she was also sitting on her butt in front of him, knees drawn up. “Lucien comes back?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged.

“And we’re going to Nogvurot where Cree’s friend might just forcibly wake them up?” Molly noted that her knuckles were clenched so tightly, they were turning pale around the edges. 

“I don’t think she can do that. I think they only respond to me… My feelings.” The more he talked about, the crazier it sounded. “It doesn’t make any sense to me, either, so don’t… Just don’t ask.”

“That doesn’t fix the Nogvurot problem,” Beau pointed out. 

“I… Might have an idea about that.” Off Beau’s look, he continued, “Let’s say, hypothetically, between here and there Cree agrees that I’m a valid inhabitant of this extremely attractive body.” He waved his hand to indicate himself. “If Tyffial is good enough to maybe bring Lucien back like Cree thinks… maybe she’s good enough to stop whatever this is from happening.”

Beau shook her head. “That’s a pretty big ‘if,’ Molly.”

Molly sighed and then spoke, more quietly, more lost. “I can’t go on like this, Beau. And I can’t… just continue as if this never happened. It’s not fair to any of you, but… I need this… this group. I need this so much. And if that’s selfish, then I’m selfish, but I don’t want to have to leave you all because I’m not safe. I’ve never had to be alone.”

As his voice started to break, Beau started to panic and pitched forward a bit and then awkwardly tried to figure out what to do, eventually settling on just putting her hand on his shoulder. “Molly… hey, hey… don’t. Fuck. You’re gonna make me get all mushy here. We’re not leaving you. Whatever this shit is, we’re gonna figure it out. No one’s gonna think you’re a fuckin’ bomb about to explode just ‘cause you have some freaky new powers.”

“Except I am a bomb.” And he put Caleb to the task of taking care of him should he come even a little bit close to going off, which was unimaginably cruel of him, but he didn’t think anyone else would do it. Not even Beau. “I didn’t mean to… melt that guy’s brain.”

“He was gonna hurt you. You stab people for that just fine.” She sighed and moved to sit by him.

“That’s different. That’s not….” He paused. “… impulse.”

Except isn’t it? Isn’t literally everything he does in a fight muscle memory and something in his blood that makes it so? The stupid eyes bleed whenever he uses one of his… freaky blood powers. That all came from Lucien- maybe it came from those weird voices too.

Maybe he was in the same position as Fjord, stuck with an otherworldly patron he didn’t want. The problem was Fjord seemed to relish in the abilities he had. Molly would be happy to be without him… Except no. No, he wouldn’t. He liked being able to protect people. The circus would have been dead several times over if he hadn’t leapt into the fray with prop swords swinging.

He dropped his head onto his knees. “I don’t want to become something I’m not. I don’t… Look at Cree! Lucien couldn’t have been good for her.”

“Yeah, that relationship was clearly super toxic,” Beau said drily. “Do you seriously think you could become like that?”

He lifted his head off his knees, but only a bit- just enough that he could give her a sidelong glance. “He did. Somehow. And besides… I haven’t had a choice in things so far. It might be inevitable.”

Beau took that in for a moment and then she balled her hand into a fist and punched him hard in the shoulder. It was so rough and so unexpected that he tipped over onto his side and nearly got tangled in his own coat. “Fuck. You. Molly. You don’t get to talk about paths and wield your Tarot cards like you’re a godsdamned expert on what people need and then say you don’t have a choice.”

He could feel the bruise blossoming on his shoulder and the oncoming stiffness. He was gonna need that hot bath after this, apparently. He opened his mouth to say something, found he had no words, and closed it again.

Beau, however, had plenty of words. “You know when you died? All I could think about was when you said you left every place better than you found it, and how fucking arrogant that was, but you were right, you son of a bitch. We were better since you walked into our lives. I was better. And if you think you can fall so hard and so far thanks to something beyond your control, then what does that say for the rest of us?”

Molly snapped his jaw shut with an audible click, eyes wide. 

She reached over and grabbed his coat and pulled him up close. “So we’re gonna return the favor for you, you arrogant piece of shit. Lucien can’t have you. Whatever Lucien’s got goin’ on? That can’t have you either. The Tombtakers? Fuck ‘em. We’ll go to Nogvurot and fulfill your stupid bargain with Cree, but don’t you dare think that we’re letting anyone fuck your brain up without a fight. We’ll keep reminding you of who you are. You made us better. We’re not letting you get made worse.”

She released his coat and he fell backwards again, catching himself before he cracked his skull on the stone. Once more, he gaped wordlessly, swallowed, and then, “So how hard was that to say?”

“Fuck you, Molly,” she spat, without venom. She stood and brushed herself off and then, after a second, extended her hand to him. “Come on, Obnoxious One. Let’s find some fucking drugs.”

Molly stared from Beau’s face to her outstretched hand, still sprawled awkwardly on the ground, and then, cautiously, he took her hand, and she pulled him up, and he thrust himself into her space to give her a hug, pinning her arms to her side so she couldn’t hit him, easily.

“Thanks, Beau.” He would’ve felt better if his voice didn’t come out so choked, but maybe that was the only thing that kept her from finding some other way to commit an act of violence against him.

She awkwardly patted his back after a moment of just standing there, rigid as a board. “Yeah… You’re welcome.”

#critical role fic #wip wednesday #once upon a damn-you-all

[tiphprince]

I have many thoughts and feelings about snape leaving Hogwarts. (I would write it but one I am well lazy and I have this weird internal conflict but yes anyways) I will be signing of as 🤺 (this is so long I am so sorry)

So for scene + background purposes : both the mud blood incident and the werewolf prank happens at the 5th year and I guess eileen leaves him. And snape is in this absolute bedroom depression because rn he can't stand himself, there is no scope and like he knows what possibilities lies in both sides but rn he's craving for fimilarity and the only person who he hates that he's connected to is his father right. They both have this anger that eileen leaves them in spinners end and one of them is free. So he does something he hasn't done ever since he met Lilly : he takes a chance and applies to ilvermony he knows he won't get in he's so sure (until he gets proven wrong). And when he gets that letter that says ACCEPTANCE he somehow empathizes with the women who first introduces magic and the same women who ran away from this horrid place and figures that eileen is a clever witch and she's probably okay of not she'd be back or they would find out that she's dead.

He knows that he's meant to be alone (he does the paper work for a transfer alone, he packs alone and he celebrates alone on his departure by allowing himself to feel something when he buys himself a small plum cake) and he feels incredibly small when he enters the ministry where he meets the headmistress but he's hopeful.

And ilvermony is big and it's grand and it's so much more accepting. On his first day he meets a brown eyed girl who's made him feel absolute concern and exasperation in 14 minutes of meeting her (why do you think that England is a sad place he asks her and she simply looks at him dumbly saying your two weather's are rain and heatstroke, and he can't help but agree with her) but he can't help but feel light. There is no Potter, no black no werewolf and maybe his life is worth something. And he's less alone (he doesn't ever say it out loud because he's scared after all he is someone who's great at ruining friendships) because he makes friends some who understand the guilt and the shame and the anger he is carrying while others (and some really good adults) just know that it's not fair that you should treat your own life like this and now he's able to speak about his regrets his guilt to those closest to him 'what you did was wrong but I also think it's wrong that you have been told that holding on to the guilt is the only way you can forgive yourself, I think you have hurt yourself enough' she says to him and there is an absolute pin drop silence until severus takes all the courage to say i think I need help.

Flash forward it's 2 years later in Hogwarts and a ripple effect occurs.

Regulus black feels at first a great deal of anger towards snape because he managed to escape this. Narcissa and lucius understand but they will never admit it. But snape left their snape this tiny greasy kid from coke worth felt his life was worth more or if not he believed in enough spite to take some direct action. That spite is what drove them to stay effectively neutral and hint on supporting dumbledore despite a war that there in the horizon. James and Lilly are together, the loss of friendship leads to a kinship which lead to a romance while Sirius and Remus are okay but they aren't. And Peter well he's shifty ( some days if not most days they all find it liberating to pretend that snape doesn't exist)

And now they all in this campaign to promote unity are in advanced muggle studies class, regulus black is the only slytherin and its painfully obvious on what's to come. And charity Burbage who is this cheery hufflepuff decides to do her video essay on schools but she has this pen pal who is in ilvermony and who's willing to help to show off her school and the people she loves (do you fucking see where I am going with this?????)

And BAM it's this heartfelt Supercut of her favorite places and the people she loves and meets there are snippets of their endearing conversations. And everything is okay until severus snape the boy who left at 15 is smiling at the one recording the video and is sitting casually at a sofa 'hey sev what do you gotta say about Americans' your tea sucks, and to think you would learn from the Boston tea party incident. And the rest of the video shows more people but it's severus who makes the video so much better and so much worse. Because she records his laughter, his joy but it's them who have this weird gut feeling and Lilly cant help but hold James hand tightly and James can't stop staring at the same boy he hurt.

And Lilly comes into this horrible but truthful realization that she's feeling what her ex best friend feels (the disbelief when she can't understand why can't she see him like this, the same way snape felt when he couldn't understand what Lilly saw in James) because there is so much betrayal she feels when he watches him smile at other people and can't understand why couldn't the snape that they are seeing in this video be the one who went at Hogwarts with them??? and James has to see this version of snape he hasn't seen before and thinks maybe they could be friends. And Lilly at that moment doesn't want to answer the question : he's happier because he's away from this place, the same place you love. Would you ask him to leave earlier knowing he could be happy like this?

The video is over and its regulus black who looks so pensive and has this look of hope that maybe goods thing can happen says in a too quite class because everyone knows : I haven't seen him smile like that at all. The bell rings and they just go on and walk a little bit more heavier because all they can think of Severus snape, the boy who escaped and the one who isn't coming back .

🤺🤺🤺🤺

Okay so... this was a completely unsolicited surprise in my inbox the other day, but damn if I didn’t love every single part of it!

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT OUR BOY SAYING FUCK IT AND LEAVING HOGWARTS

For the the other characters it doesn’t change that much, Lily still ends up with James, the Marauders are sad that their favorite target is gone but they get over it quickly, the other Slytherins don’t give a fuck about the poor and dirty halfblood, and the teachers... well, they’re as useless as usual.

But our baby! It’s awful for him at first, the fact that he suddenly finds himself so far away, and so alone, from everything he’d ever known, even the bad. Because at least he knew what to expect at Hogwarts and at home, it was all about the evil you know, and adventure is definitely not his thing.

I’ve always been in love with the “was gone for several years, and came back a changed man” (must be the Naruto fan in me), it’s a bit like anon’s video here, a way to show everyone what they missed, the huge mistake they made in hurting this kid who just wanted to be left alone

I want to see the Marauders praising this dude from America before learning that it’s Snape because he doesn’t look anything like what he used to (meaning he actually looks like a functioning human being).

I want to see Lily, high and mighty with her perfect husband and her son on the way, frown when she recognizes her former best friend laughing and smiling with another girl, looking happier than he’d ever been with her.

I want to see Slughorn in shock when the best potions master of his generation is revealed to be the weird ass teen he’d dismissed on the first day because he didn’t have a powerful family name.

Basically, I want every character who ever underestimated Snape, who ever hurt him, to, if not regret their actions, then at least realize that there was something more to him even back then, that if only he’d been given a chance he could have become that amazing person right here in the UK and not halfway around the world.

Also, I want Snape to not forgive them. Maybe he has to work with them for one reason or another, and he acts just civil enough to not outright provoke and insult them, but he’ll never forgive and he’ll never forget.

#lots and lots of feelings #Anonymous #snape #severus snape #ask #pro snape #snapedom #harry potter

[kyu-bri]

PMMM Medieval AU

Ok I've been Checked Out of the Meduka Meguca fandom recently but last night during a 11hr post-work week sleep I dreamed up a balls to the wall insanely intricate AU, because my subconcious is ever more creative than my waking self.

A TLDR role list and under the cut I will ramble and speculate in detail:

SAYAKA: An ex squire Knight trainee whose new mission is to overthrow the fucking monarchy after its corrupt rule led to the deaths of her friends. Now seducing an established Knight woman to help her on the inside while she recruits peasants for her rebellion.

MAMI: A rich snobbish merchant, rolling in wealth from inheriting both her dead parents businesses. She too is looking to overthrow the monarchy but is at odds with Sayakas faction because her plan is to become ruler herself.

KYOKO: a thief with brooding backstory. Mami recruits her to do her dirty work behind the scenes to keep her social standing clean.

MADOKA: A young training Goddess of Hope who fell from the moon. She has come to enthusiastically stop all the warring drama and devious plotting. She is in way over her head.

HOMURA: when Madoka fell she brought with her only a magical talisman that would bring one corpse to life to be her right hand. While looking for a noble muscular soldier Madoka tripped and dropped it into an open grave resurrecting a sickly peasant girl. Homura now worships Madoka and they are best friends who are in way over their heads.

Now me screaming trying to decipher my own subconscious:

GOD this AU is so ME. Sayaka going feral and living her best life kicking ass and a catty mean girl Mami countering her specifically. Kyoko poised to compliment, counter and even them out. Oh and MadoHomu are Cute and In Love. If that isnt the core of all of my AUs-

Sayaka was absolutely nuts in this though. My brain didn't spare Kyosuke or Hitomi so much as a cameo but so they're free to be the only reasonable cause for this. Im thinking Kyosuke was ailing as per usual and all that canon drama was the Same but Medieval.

So I'm thinking Sayakas all set to cope with Hitomi financing some lifesaving Medieval leech centric surgery or something before the Evil King whose color scheme is White And Maroon decides to execute Hitomis family for something petty. Hitomi is tragically killed right before Sayaka. Leaving Kyosuke to go shortly after and Sayaka to swear off the monarchy and all traditional law. Withdrawing from her training to be a knight to Be Gay And Do Crime.

Mamis role is both hilarious and perfect. In the dream she didn't do much besides bribe Kyoko and Anime Princess Laugh, but then Madoka was lore dumping (because yes, I DREAMED Madoka explaining LORE to Homura for the audiences (my) benefit.) And she said that Mami was possessed by a Demon of Greed. I'm thinking we could also say a desperate grieving Mami made some sort of deal with it asking for the ability to manage her parents legacy and it's resulted in her becoming the Onceler instead.

Madoka also mentions Kyoko has been scared away from her God bc of humans' actions. Ie she was the holy dutiful priests daughter and then Shit Hit The Fan but Medieval Flavored. The dream legit shows her God was Jesus so I'm declaring the dude God of Redemption, which is a very Kyoko Thing to boot.

While my brain didn't give me any KyoSaya Content tm they're in the perfect position for their epic Rivalry Turned Eternal Companions. Kyoko would be who Mami sends to fuck w Sayaka. Sayaka having probably trying to recruit Mami to her cause before realizing Mamis The Fucking Onceler and inspiring her to create a Rival Gang Of King Hating Rebels.

I'm picturing Sayakas plan fucking up in just the way Kyoko once mocked her that it would and all of Sayakas fight leaving her. As epic as her role is seducing the enemy to benefit her is very Unlike Her, so while the dream poised her as a power couple with the random blond knight lady I'm saying nnnno. And that the arrangement is fitfully miserable and dangerous. Sayaka used to be a loyal hopeless romantic and the Evil that's been committed against her and and those she loves has forced her to harden herself into someone else to be able to fight it.

But while Sayakas in Inevitable Peril and lamenting all of her mistakes and tragedy Kyokos there, fully able to escape but instead of course is like "no fuck that fuck this take my hand dreams come true lets give this nightmare a happily ever after." And its gay.

This would probably pit them both against Mami now but knowing me it would absolutely solve it with gay. And probably a bit of exorcism from Madoka. I theorized briefly if Mami would be a singular tragic death bc she cant be freed bc i liked the idea of tiny baby trumpet blower Nagisa slitting the Evil rich ladies throat and that being the only way to free her from the demon was cool but unless I can give Madoka a second resurrection clause then i would just exorcise her with Homosexuality and Friendship and a bit of Fairy Dust.

Meanwhile with Madoka and Homura they were just off still being cute and oblivious in the dream. I think the dream wanted her to be The One True God but she then shows all the personality traits of Naïve Angel In Training, so bc of the mythology already surrounding her I'm saying thinks a society where Literal Concepts Are Still Being Born and Madoka is the first inkling of Hope that Homosexuality and Friendship can fight Medieval Capitalism on its own.

She's just this bright white and pink pastel glowing entity skipping through a dark dreary forest graveyard looking for soldiers graves to ressurect somebody noble and powerful, gathering twigs in her long Repuntzel hair, when she trips and drops her talisman on a homeless orphan who died of the plague or some shit.

Bonus points to the idea that Madokas supposed to be able to reuse it but bc Homura died of sickness she just dies again right away and Madoka doesn't wanna be mean.

So Homura worships this glowing self positioned manic pixie dream girl bc shes definitely never felt hopeful in her life and so this glowing pastel goddess and drab zombie girl begin a road trip to where the actual plot of the story is happening. Because the moon dropped Madoka like inconveniently far away ig.

And so is the skeleton of a fabulous AU that I will probably not develop further but might make art for because my subconscious brain Also has AMAZING cinematography like when Madoka comes out of her moon all her hair flows out first so from earth it looks like a long pink gunshot through the moon which I suppose all the other characters would see and thus foreshadow their inevitable downfall to the powers of Homosexuality and Friendship and HOPE.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

#pmmm #puella magi madoka magica #au #mine #magia record #this isnt magia record but for obvious reasons yall might like it lmao #royal war au #is what its called now ig

[merlinssaggyyfronts]

BBC Merlin Rewatch:

01x01: The Dragon’s Call

—

FIRSTLY THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION LMAO “Merlin, a young country boy” COUNTRY BOY AHAHDHSNDH IF ONLY YOU KNEW!!! ITS LIKE SETTING SOMEONE UP FOR DISASTER BUT THEN AGAIN THEY WERE SO LIKE I MEAN-

aw look at merlin all happy and smily, walking into camelot like he isnt going to witness the death of his best friend/king and basically everyone he loves

LOOK AT HIM HES SO HAPPY!!! HE DOESNT KNOW YET

“like everyone, he must live and learn” yo shut ur bitchass up lizard man u literally tried to murder everyone in camelot that one time

“his name: traumatised 😍😍”

AH YES THE OPENING!!1!1!-!-! AHHH THE AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS I FEEL HEARING THE OPENING

fuck ur bitchass uther no one likes u

“i pride myself as a fair and just king” sir didnt u like basically kill ur wife... and thousands of peo- OH MY GOD MORGANA BB ILY

oh jesus okay hes dead um chile-

“when i came to this land” wait i thought he was raised kn camelot brb i forgot im an idiot wait,,, does this mean before this it was the du bois family on the throne of camelot?? also, mired in chaos? u mean like.... before ur wife died and everyone was living peacefully? ....okay

“merlin, seeing a person who's been stated had been studying magic get beheaded: [a magical being himself] ah,, welcoming.” -my gf

“since the great dragon was captured” ....so did no one think about where they put a dragon?? a captured one at that. ud think he’d be more smart but nah he just left a random ass dragon under his castle like THAT is going to end well

YUHH MARY COLLJNS HATE HIM!!! YELL BABEY YELL!!! “you took my son!” YES MURDER HIM OMG I CAN FEEL HER PAIN

“a son for a son!” omg why couldnt u have killed uther bb ur the perfect villain i love u ur literally just a loving mother i-

OOOOO GAIUS

.....why is there a bunny mask in there

why is thERE A BUNNY MASK-

why didnt merlins eyes glow when he dragged the bed to gaius to save him

also whats this slomo magic why didnt he do this after this why did season one haveso much magic and like every other season was just everyone throwing it back

like i get instinctual magic but like.... if its instinctual wouldnt it happen more especially when his powers get stronger-

gaius: what did you just do?!

also gaius, five seconds later: i know what it was!! i just wanted to know where you learned it

merlin: 😐

merlin, about his magic: i was born like this

gaius, who knows full well warlocks exist: impossible!

(are warlocks naturally born knowing how to use magic without learning? i mean if u have to learn magic like a sorcerer then whats the difference between a warlock and a sorcerer cuz wouldnt sorcerers atleast have to have some magic in them to actually cast spells? am i dumb or do i just not get it)

wait so merlin arrived in camelot on a wednesday

merlin, walking into camelot: it is wednesday my dudes

merlin: [witnesses an execution] aaaAAAAAA-

“someone that might help him find a purpose of his gifts” oh honey he’ll get something mUCH LARGER THAN THAT-

—

oH MORGANA

SHUT UR BITCHASS UTHER SHE WILL KILL YOU-

“the more brutal you are, the more enemies you’ll create” oh the waY SHE PREDICTED THEIR FUTURE OO

ah bless u lady helen/mary collins we love them spicy villains

...why do you have a dressing table in a tent

[watches mary collins murder lady helen] i never snitch on dadd- ...someone pls delete me

merlin, about his instinctual magic: i just do it!

gaius: ...lord have mercy what did i just sign myself up to

what ever happened to sir olwen did he die from accidentally overdosing

—

oHHH THERE HE IS THERE HE IS THERES MY BOY!!! MY LIL PRAT MAN!!!!

merlin looks so offended, oh god i could watch this whole scene for HOURS

oooOOOO YES MERLIN FUCK HIM UP!!! SHOW HIM WHOS BOSS

“do i know you?” “im merlin” “so i dont know you” ugh theres already sexual tension

“i would never have a friend who could be such an ass” “or i one so stupid”

also them, ten years later: “i use my magic for you arthur, only you” “just hold me” “i cant lose him! hes my friend!” “thank you..”

“tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?” OOOOH THE BOYS ARE FLIRTING

NOT THE “would you like me to help you?” SIR YOU ARE FLIRTING SO INTENSELY AND DONT EVEN REALISE IT SIR DO YOU KNOW YOURE FALLING IN LOVE

im convinced atleast half the knights with arthur were like “ayo thas kinda sus bro 😳😳 ayo 😳😳”

arthur: tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees? would you like me to help you?

merlin: ....i really dont know how to answer that

imagine being paid to throw fruits at colin morgan omg id be so thrilled

OOOH HERE COMES OUR QUEEN GWEN!!! MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING YES ILY

gwen: well, arthur looks like one of those, save the world kinda men... and you dont

merlin, 1500 years later, having failed his destiny: well i mean you’re not wrong

—

gaius: uther banned magic a long time ago

merlin, flabbergasted as if he wasnt raised on tales of the death of his kind every day in the kingdom right next to his: why?!?!?

gaius: the dragon is imprisoned where nobody can free him

merlin:

(that is the face of someone knowing full well hes going to free that dragon. look at him. he’s already made up his mind.)

—

[sees merlin and arthur in the marketplace] oh heres he is again heres the lil bitxh ooo theyre about to FIGHT

god hes flirting so hard without even realising it, oh my god

“i could take you apart with one blow” “i could take you apart with less” um sirs this is a mcdonalds drive thru 😃

arthur: ahah, you’re in trouble now~ 😏😏

i had to pause cuz wHAT THE HELL WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT-

—

....yall are yelling very loudly, um, arent there guards near yall? people passing by? please relax

“im just a nobody, and i always will be” OH IF ONLY YOU KNEWWW

“if i cant use magic, i might as well die” ....well, ive got a surprise for you-

“maybe theres someone with more magic than me?” like... a whole dragon? i mean if you say so 👀

merlin about why he was born like this: if you cant tell me, no one can!

a fucking dragon, basically every magical creature and the druids: WELL-

the camelot guards are so stupid how the hell is this kingdom still standing

how does kilgharrah know merlins name? in prophecy hes known as emrys (and we see basically every magical being call him emrys and not merlin,, i think). so how does he know? did he stretch his neck long enough that he could somehow hear merlin? is it cuz theyre kin? is it cuz merlin and gaius were yelling so loudly that kilgharrah could hear them all the way in his cave? ig we’ll never know 🖐

merlin: where are you?!

kilgharrah:

kilgharrah: without you, arthur will never succeed.

merlin: ....oh look, im already paranoid

the amount of sadness i feel hearing kilgharrah say “none of us can choose our destiny, merlin. and none of us can escape it” is INSANE cuz in season one you can SEE merlin trying to escape it. hes doing his damned best trying to have some control over his life. and then in later seasons you can see the light slowly drain from his eyes as he becomes just another toy for the gods to be entertained by. he realises he cant control a single thing about his life so he does the one thing he can: protect arthur. and he loses SO MUCH because of it! its not fair, he deserved so much, and when he finally got everything he could ever ask for, it was taken away from him by his own mistakes.

arthur, seeing morgana in a beautiful dress: god have mercy 😍

uther: .....um

the way they set arthur and morgana up as if they arent gonna make them siblings i- what the fawk 😄

person A, who knows arthurian lore: oh no! arthur is going to have an affair with morgan(a) and have mordred! oh no!!

person B, whos seen merlin: oh no in this show its worse

person B, knowing full well theyre siblings: much worse....

gwen: who’d wanna marry arthur? 🙄

-

gwen, getting crowned queen of camelot: well fuck

hhhnghnh yes queen sing them to sleep yes murder his bitchass (and fail but like its the thought that counts)

on a sidenote tho this is such a fun way to murder someone, id try this

the absolutely OFFENDED “FATHER!” and the horrified look in arthurs eyss when uther announced merlin would be his manservant is PRICELESS OMG

oh the way uther unintentionally plants the first seed of his sons love story omg 😍😍

Conclusion: this episode is a 10/10 greatest episode with so many iconic scenes omg. mary collins u will forever have my heart for unintentionally kickstarting merlin and arthurs relationship destiny. i loved the whole thing and oh GOD does it already hurt knowing full well how the show ends

#this was a RIDE #eli’s merlin rewatch #yes i have to say everything that happens in the episode pls leave me alone #01x01: the dragon’s call #merlin #arthur pendragon #uther pendragon #morgana le fay #morgana pendragon #guinevere #guinevere pendragon #gwen #gaius #kilgharrah #lady helen #mary collins #bbc merlin

[percedurza]

I HAVE ALREADY SPOKE ON LENGTH ABOUT THE PRINCE OF EGYPT BUT NOT THE WHOLE THING ONLY THE PLAGUES AND MOSTLY PASSOVER. I JUST WATCHED THE FULL MOVIE FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I WAS A KID IM GONNA TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN BECAUSE IT WAS SO GOOD. OKAY.

okay let me first say that i was in tears within the first ten minutes of the movie. deliver us was so powerful and heartbreaking i cried BEFORE THE TEN MINUTE MARK. yeah.

when moses' mother sang her final lullaby to her son and pushed him downstream in that (blessed and very fortunate) basket my heart hurt. i cried with her. that was the last time she would ever see her baby.

when his sister sang her prayer for her baby brother, wishing for him to come back to deliver them as well, that just drove the nail in harder.

in a later scene before the banquet you can hear moses humming that last lullaby and since deliver us was just maybe ten minutes prior you remember it and realize he really did keep that final song.

and the banquet oh yeah ramesses gets appointed this big title? and he names moses as the grand architect

and theres this captured hebrew lady brought in for ramesses but shes fierce (i would be too, she was captured and brought to the people she hates the most) and so ramesses orders her to be brought to moses' chambers instead

moses goes to his chambers and suprise! she escaped! moses chases after and sees her sneaking out with her camel and distracts some guards so she wont get caught and once the guards are gone he goes after her again aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand

miriam (moses' sister) meeting him in the city streets and recognizing him, telling him he's her family and him shutting her down and calling her a slave.... it hurt. when she hums that lullaby and he RECOGNIZES and then rushes back home to have a dream about that day he was sent away (in beautiful animation designed to look like the hieroglyphs on his wall) its all so painful to watch him be forced out of nowhere to realize his life is a LIE because hes not a true prince of egypt, he's born of the slaves, and then his father the pharaoh justifies the order to slaughter innocent babies by saying "they were just slaves" and OUGH

moses kills a man. unintentional but he killed a man while trying to stop him from beating a slave. oops.

he cant live with this so he runs away into the desert. theres this scene where he collapses to the ground and sheds all of the jewelry and adornments from his life as royalty but as he takes off the ring ramesses gives him, he looks at it. and slowly puts it back on. because no matter what, he still loves his brother, and he always will.

moses falls into a well. yeah. chases off some ruffians and then basically faints and falls in. these girls the ruffians were harassing started pulling him out and SURPRISE SURPRISE the captured lady from the banquet is there and she drops him back in when she recognizes him and walks away all smug and her name is tzipporah! just an fyi (very pretty name love it)

moses basically gets adopted into the group of hebrews and moses says something about not ever having done anything of worth and so tzipporah's father jethro sings a little tune to him!

through heavens eyes is a masterpiece. i really dont know what else to say also i want jethro to be my dad hes so nice

aaanyway moses and tzipporah get married during the through heavens eyes montage! i just think thats nice

OKAY now juicy stuff the BURNING BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the scene in which moses encounter the burning bush and god.

god claims that he has seen his people (the hebrew slaves) suffering and cannot stand for it any longer, so he wishes to send moses as a sort of ambassador of god

and moses doesnt think hes worthy of being god's messenger, which god quickly shuts up by pointing out how he's kind of, like, GOD

and he teaches moses those big old words, "LET MY PEOPLE GO" wahoo!!!!!!

he rushes home to tell tzipporah, and shes like "but ur just one dude" and hes like "well i kinda have to also the hebrews are suffering in slavery so :////"

tzipporah and moses head on over to meet ramesses and theyre all excited to see each other and then moses is like "behold the power of god!!!!!!" and his staff becomes a snake. pretty gnarly if i do say so myself

and then the high priests are like "ok" and start basically performing and rapping the names of the egyptian gods at moses in response i really dont know how to describe it but its basically a whole lotta smoke and mirrors. not actual miracles

moses talks to ramesses and asks him to let his people go, and instead doubles the slave's workload. the slaves basically hate moses now because yeah he technically is the reason theyre getting pushed harder and even his own brother aaron seems to loathe him. miriam talks to moses and he sees ramesses' ship gliding down the nile nearby

he calls out to ramesses and he just sends his guards after him. and so moses brings the staff down and turns the river to blood.

THEN THE REST OF THE PLAGUES ENSUE!!!

theres this specific part of the plagues scene in which ramesses stands between two statues of egyptian gods and glances at them as if to ask why the fuck arent they doing anything about the LITERAL hellfire and general havoc being brought down on the city. just thought that was a really cool detail.

AND OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH passover. i really shouldnt get excited about talking about an event that killed a whole heck ton of kids but its like fnaf at this point who cares ANYWAY THE DEAD KIDS

i already talked about the passover scene but what i didnt include (i think) is how when god's spirit or whatever idk enters the palace, it passes over a statue of ramesses and you just think, oh fuck wait RAMESSES HAD A SON.

and sure enough, that son is dead. moses walks in as ramesses pulls a sheet over his sons dead body and ramesses finally, after all of the plagues, tells moses he can take the hebrews and leave.

as moses walks away you can see ramesses glare at moses because he may have said he was done but. hes not. of course.

moses and the hebrews are leaving with yet another beautiful musical sequence (when you believe) and you can see the hordes of former slaves walking to the sea.

AAND just like i said RAMESSES WASNT FINISHED! he brings a whole bunch of soldiers on horseback and chases the hebrews, and god literally rains fire on them again this time in the form of a flaming tornado that sweeps across the sand, making a big old wall of fire that the egyptian soldiers cant get through

which gives moses the time to do the famous parting of the sea. he brings that staff down in the water and DOES GODS WONDERS!!! yay!!!

watching them walk on the seabed was beautiful. with some lightning strikes you could see the silhouette of some kind of shark swimming in the water (looked it up there are sometimes whale sharks in the red sea this is accurate)

and the fire tornado recedes into the earth, the fire fades, the soldiers chase on at ramesses' orders. the water sweeps them away just as the hebrews make it to the other side and it later cuts back to ramesses, alone on the rocky shore, screaming out at moses. hes completely alone, soldiers presumably dead, and no family to speak of. his side of the sea is cloudy and gloomy, still stormy, but when it jumps back to the hebrews in celebration, the sun shines bright and happy. the hebrews are free.

the movie ends with moses walking down the mountain sinai, ten commandments in hand, while the last snippet of deliver us plays once again.

only one other movie has evoked this much of this kind of emotion in me.(the one movie is klaus LMAO klaus made me ugly cry) there was not a single second of watching this that i didnt have goosebumps.

the movie itself just looks pretty. all of the characters have unique and neat designs. (its also nice to see a movie with only poc in it like im just saying)

the musical scores and numbers are so expertly made. my favorite has to be deliver us but through heavens eyes is a very close second. through heavens eyes made me feel better about myself, in a way. the entire movie was like some healing experience.

all in all, this is an S tier movie, and i BEG BEG BEG anyone who hasn't seen it to watch it. just pirate it or something (i did lol watched it on an illegal streaming site)

if you're not religious and havent seen it, think of it as a chance to learn more about abrahamic faiths. if you are religious and havent seen it, well hey! here you go!!

#the prince of egypt #long post #beware

[macklives]

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #hs92 #hs92 end #i wrote more than i should have but i had a lot to say #just you wait for those analogy/analysis posts

[zombieratt]

Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.

So without further ado:

DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.

the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.

*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*

In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)

Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*

Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something

Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*

Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.

Evan: uh no. no one has.

Connor: gotta sharpie?

Evan: huh?

Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.

Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?

Connor: *shrugs* feels right.

Evan: i wish i could do that

Connor: what?

Evan: UH, IMEAN—

Connor: no wait- dude.

Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.

Connor: Why Cant you be?

Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.

Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.

*the bell rings*

Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—

Connor: i’ll give you a ride.

Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-

Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.

——

they meet Zoe in the parking lot

Zoe: I have Late practice today

Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.

Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?

Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?

Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?

Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.

Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?

Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.

Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.

Connor: i wont Princess

Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.

Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—

Evan: Panic Attack.

Connor: Right, uh

Connor: can you get in the car?

Evan: yeah

*car nonsense*

Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait

Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?

Connor: What stuff!??

Evan: any Stuff!

Connor: Is Zoe okay??

Evan: Sure?!

Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?

we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*

i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)

Evan: Connor

Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah

Evan: thanks

Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?

Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.

Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.

Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.

Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.

Evan: About stuff?

Connor: Yeah, Stuff.

*the convo lulls*

Connor: do you have a laptop?

Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?

Connor: give me a second

Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat

Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set

Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.

Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.

Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself

Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,

Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—

Connor: thats perfect.

Connor starts to sing for forever,

eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.

the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.

Evan: its- its pretty late.

Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.

Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.

Connor: what are you talking about?

Evan: being spontaneous?

Connor: o-okay.

and it cuts to black.

theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms

sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.

(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.

but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.

its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)

after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.

requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.

school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.

Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.

Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.

Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?

Evan: yeah, sure.

this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.

Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.

she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.

Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.

jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.

Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.

Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly

Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?

Connor: Kleinman Did!

Zoe: what?

Connor: Why Do you care?

Zoe: because! you look happy around him!

Connor: i, i do?

Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.

Connor: oh.

Zoe: Come back inside?

Connor: y, Yeah.

they all perform You Will Be Found together.

end act 1.

(no more dialogue from here i got tired)

to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.

Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.

good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.

Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.

Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.

Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).

#dear evan hansen #deh #connor murphy #evan hansen #zoe murphy #musicals #broadway #deh rewrite i guess? #this is more like the outline of a fic i’ll never write #kd.txt #i was posessed to write this #tree bros