#i can only talk to toddlers and people i have already known for years.

[nyanryan]

matching w so many cool people on bumble but unfortunately i am completely socially inept. girl help </3

#HOW DO YOU TALK TO PEOPLE. CASUALLY. #i can only talk to toddlers and people i have already known for years. #ryambles #I just don't know how to hold a conversation. are you allowed to just ask a random question every time the conversation dies. #is that what youre supposed to do. i don't know #I am so good at talking to people in real life because i am Charismatic or at the very least. my charming weirdguy energy is unintimidating #but I am absolutely hopeless at texting 💔

[quitealotofsodapop]

I like to think that it takes a but before Wukong and DBK end up having a much needed conversation about Wukong's pregnancy and the reasons he'd kept it hidden. They didn't hold off on it until Revenge of the Spider Queen, but I don't think Wukong was exactly eager to talk about it.

I also think that Wukong ought to have had some hidden resentment not even he had been aware of at the fact his big brother, who definitely is the sort to swear he'd protect Wukong no matter what despite Wukong not needing it, hadn't been able to keep his promise when it came to Wukong's capture, torture, and imprisonment. Being thrown into a Furnace for nearly 50 years and then buried under a mountain for 500 more isn't exactly something you just 'get over', and that's just a small part of what Heaven had done to Wukong. Like... he doesn't blame DBK because there's no way he could have known... but also DBK had broken his promise to keep his baby brother safe and presumably the first interaction they had after Wukong was freed by the mountain was presumably DBK asking Wukong for help with his toddler son who was hurting himself with a power he could not control and Wukong was probably hurt by that. And he was definitely hurt by the fight they later had.

Basically, there's a lot of bad stuff that happened with the journey and the events that led up to it and I think Wukong was suppressing a lot of that trauma, and it came out in ways he didn't really notice. Part of that comes to a head during their first heart to heart when DBK is told why Wukong had kept the fact he was pregnant a secret. He still didn't know exactly how long he was pregnant, that it was indeed during the Journey and not something that came about after it, but he knows Wukong had been pregnant when he was sealed under the mountain and Wukong had knowingly kept that from him. The rest of that only came out while they were in the web, which onky served to infuriate DBK even more because he'd thought he'd HAD this conversation with Wukong already and he comes to find out that Wukong had kept even more from him.

Basically it be like,

DBK: Why are you being so secretive about this? A child is amazing!

Wukong: There's a reason I don't want this getting out, DBK! Could you imagine what would happen if work got out that the 'Great Sun Wukong' was pregnant and vulnerable!? What would the Jade Court do!? The thousands of enemies I've made over the years!? I'd be lucky if they didn't start lining up at my door to try to take advantage!

DBK: I would have protected you! You're my little brother, you could've have told me!

Wukong: Oh, like you protected me so well during the war when I got thrown in a Furnace and trapped under a mountain!

Silence, as Wukong realized what he said, and that he hadn't meant to say that aloud. He'd thought he'd gotten over that tbh.

Another thing to consider;

Wukong also missed out on 500 years of life back when he was captured. 500 years of being unable to make amends with his mate. 500 years unable to defend his people from the Fires and the hunters.

And DBK spent all that time free, married, getting invited to parties, and generally having a life while his younger brother rotted under that mountain.

From Wukong's perspective, DBK forgot about his little brother. And that def stirs up some resentment once the two reunite after DBK's release.

But the full truth is even uglier than that.

As Sun Wukong and DBK's arguing escalates, I can see DBK finally breaking down into tears.

DBK: "I wanted to save you xiandi! I truly did! Azure and the others claimed you a traitor but I Knew you would never surrender without cause!" Wukong, angry tears: "Then why didn't you try freeing me from the Furnance?! Did you just sit around for all of those 49 days!?" DBK, voice raising accidentally: "IF I DID THEY WERE GOING TO KILL TIESHAN!" *covers mouth in shock* (The room goes silent. A long-held secret having just been revealed. As if the demon king had expended all his magic to break a verbal geas/spell that had tormented him for centuries) Wukong: "...t-they? Who's they?" DBK, shaking with tears and anger: "Many. Not just Heaven... if I moved to help or defend you in any way they'd... they threatened to... "take away what I had conquered". They treatened it long before you even surrendered to the Emperor." Wukong: "Wh-who? Who would threaten that? Who knew you'd defend me even if I had surrendered-" *goes quiet at a realisation left unsaid* "No..." DBK, eyes saddened: "Yes." Wukong, now angry-crying: "But... why?!" DBK, unsure himself: "I believe... some of them suspected that it wasn't truly Heaven we would have surrendered for. We are too much alike in many ways..." Wukong, taking in a deep breath: "The Emperor he'd- He said he'd- I'm sorry..." DBK: "I know he threatened to take Liu'er away from you. Anyone with a brain could deduce that." Wukong: *nods mournfully* DBK: *deep sigh* "I suppose I could have at least visited you... buddha knows Macaque did." Wukong: "Wait, you know about that?" DBK: "Of course! He visited your mountain nearly every year on the dot. Mostly to plant peach trees and sunflowers in the soil outside and pray for your swift release. Odds are he did not reveal himself due to your falling out- Xiandi are you ok!?" Wukong, realising that Macaque still loved him even then: "NO!!!!"

I love emotionally tormenting these characters. >:3

#slow boiled stone egg au #sun wukong #lmk dbk #lmk demon bull king #lmk aus #jttw aus #lmk #lego monkie kid #journey the west #jttw #angst tw #shadowpeach

[svefs]

Definitely the better Suzuki ever 👍

TW!: Cursing and mentions of alcoholism, NOT incest FFS, we love Iruma, IruAzz shipper reader frfr, I support other ships (not the bad bad ones y'all calm down)too don't attack me, im high and it's 3am, Fem!reader, hey bbg you look kinda cute

Summary: You're Iruma Suzuki's younger sister cause yes. Not really known by most of his friends since you're like 10 years younger than him (basically a kid that still can't attend school). That is untill you followed your older brother to Babyls secretly (how? Idk why are you asking me im defo no the author 🤷‍♀️)

-------------------------------------------------------

"Shichiro" said Kalego surrounded by an ominous aura while the misfits are sweating buckets in the background.

Balam Shichiro was only trying to help a toddler. Getting a lecture by co-worker was definitely not in list.

"BAT!" you screamed on the top of your lungs as if you were a drunkard

Uh oh

Few hours earlier

"Pera! upsies,"you babbled wanting to be carried.

"Y/N-sama, please forgive me but I am a bit busy here," Opera said while carrying the dirty laundry.

You huffed and walked away pouting at the fact that Opera was busy. It's childish but your still a kid so do whatever you want 🤷‍♀️

Unfortunately, a bright idea sparked into your mind. Your adoptive grandpa is the principal of Babyls, the school your big brother goes too. So if we're to go on a little adventure you'll be able to get your older brother and maybe your grandpa to play with you. It's basically child's play (how ironic), but you're a human child so it's fine.

So the journey begins, with you leaving Opera in a state of panic while you're following your carefree brother and his two friends while they walk to school. Of course it is harder for you to catch up to them since you can barely walk but you can crawl your way through hell if you wanted to.

Once you reached the school entrance it was basically empty, meaning you weren't fast enough to play with your brother before his class starts. As you were about to enter through the door, a deep voice startled you.

"A child?"

You look behind to see a tall man with chicken feet and short white hair. Iruma has told you about a white haired tall teacher with chicken feet named Balam Shichiro that is intimidating but kind nonetheless. So what do you do? The only logical thing duh.

"Bal!"

you shouted rendering him speechless.

"You know me?"

he asked while picking you up while you answered by nodding.

"VROOM VROOM!!"

"Vroom....?"

Few minutes after (he finally got the memo)

"So.... you want me to bring you to Iruma?"you nodded in response as he started walking somewhere. You were completely relaxed in Balam's hold which made him question your identity even more since he was used to people being scared of his appearance.Getting to Iruma was not really that hard. You can tell where he is all the time especially with the people he hangs out with. Poor Iruma, can't even live his school life quietly without drawing attention. But since class already started, he's definitely in the Royal one. He wouldn't be the type to skip class at all.

Back to the present

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA BIG BAD BAT!!!" you started shrieking definitely startling half the class from your sudden outburst.

"Y/N! Calm down," your brother takes you away from Balam's hold inorder to try and calm you down. Did it work?

Lol no.

Why?

Cause seeing a certain pink haired male, made you think of all the times your brother would come back home just to rant to you about him. Oh the burning pain, hearing your brother talk about his oh-so obvious crush that he has yet to realise. Almost felt bad for this Azz guy if it weren't for the fact this Azz guy has also yet to realise his feelings. This is too much bs for you to handle. Definitely too much.

Meanwhile Opera was still panicking at the mansion lmfao

Note:

You have no idea how bored I am

Request are finally open tho

#m!ik x reader #iruma x reader #welcome to demon school iruma kun #x reader #balam shichirou #naberius kalego #m!ik kalego #alice asmodeus #m!ik opera #m!ik sullivan

[f1reladymai]

Do you think the Smoke and Shadow comic foreshadows Zuko and Mai as future rulers of the Fire Nation?  It showcases their strategy skills along with improving their communication as they strive to find a solution to save the children of the fire nation capital. Even though they are broken up, they work well together and shows their compatibility as rulers.  Thoughts? 

omg my first anon, hello and thank you for asking me this question !!

I talk a little bit about this in my video essay, actually. while I hate the comics and I think it’s stupid that they broke up, it does give them a chance to grow as people and into their positions in the world. the writer confirmed that they got back together 3 years later, meaning they’re young adults when they reunite, and they would have grown from their teenage selves.

in The Promise (2012) we already see their communication improving (well, Mai’s anyway) when she says that Zuko can come to her with any issues he has and he should be able to talk to her about his feelings because she’s his girlfriend. this already shows that he has someone he can rely on who is willing to listen to him, someone he’s known for a long time.

in Smoke and Shadow (2015), we see this communication improving. one thing that gene luen yang got right is that Zuko would absolutely be pinning over Mai, given how much that loser (affectionate) was obsessed with her.

although she is with Kei Lo at the time, Zuko expresses how much he misses her and that he wants her back, as well as acknowledging how happy she looks. he does this instead of repressing his feelings, and Mai talks about her point of view of the situation, being open and honest (despite it not being what Zuko wants to hear).

it is not only their communication improving that shows the potential they have at running a nation together, but also who they’re going after in Smoke and Shadow (2015). one criticism that people give Mai is that she doesn’t care about people, and in turn, the Fire Nation citizens. however, in this comic we see her and Zuko working together to take down a terrorist organisation. while part of it is to protect Zuko, she calls her own dad (who is leading The New Ozai Society) “insane” for his political beliefs.

not only that, but she sends him to prison in the end and says that he deserves to go.

this is after she helped free her little brother, Zuko’s little sister and gaggle of other Fire Nation toddlers (with Zuko) !!

so, yeah. while I hate the comics, I think they do show some potential of Zuko and Mai working well together as rulers of a nation (even though “Fire Lady” doesn’t seem like an active role in politics, but we can pretend or hope that changes with Mai).

#noreen’s asks #anon #txt post #atla #avatar the last airbender #a:tla #avatar: the last airbender #maiko #Mai #Zuko #mai&zuko #Mai & Zuko #prince zuko #fire lord zuko #smoke and shadow #the promise #atla comics #atla meta

[dollywheeler]

October 15th, 1996

Dear diary,

Mrs. Benson said something strange yesterday. We were taking a short walk around the neighborhood - per her doctor’s orders to get her moving again - when we passed Mike and Will’s place. It was already dark out, so the house was lit up, the lights spilling out of the many windows and the skylights over the hall. There were thin curtains pulled over the windows for privacy - which was definitely a necessity in a house like this or we’d be able to follow everything going on inside like it’s a doll house. Even like this we’d probably be able to see silhouettes moving like shadow puppets if anyone were to pass the window.

We were just walking past when Mrs. Benson’s eyes caught onto the building as well. The start of the high school basketball season managed to pull attention away from the town’s “new” arrivals, and most people’s conversations have moved on from the return of Mike Wheeler and Will Byers, so it was a bit of a surprise when Mrs. Benson mentioned it again. Just a throw-away line about how time was changing or something. I'll never understand people's weird fascination with the concept of "two young men" - seriously people keep referring to them as such as if they haven't known their names since they were toddlers - moving in together. It's like they've never heard of the concept of sharing rent.

Mrs. Benson said something about Mrs. Chatham further up the street being quite upset about Mike and Will moving into the house - apparently she'd been close to the previous owners or something, said it was a "waste of a beautiful house". I was kind of zoning out as cheer practice had been brutal but it struck me as weird. I mean I get where Mrs. Chatham was coming from - I also think it would be a beautiful home for children to grow up in - but so is her house and she's been living there alone for the last fifteen years.

Anyway, Mrs. Benson tried asking me questions about Mike and Will again but I've been very dismissive whenever anyone asks. Partially because everyone's disproportionate level of intrigue is kind of freaky, but I guess I also just don't really feel comfortable talking about them yet because they expect me to be some kind of expert when I'm clearly not. I still barely know anything, and I already felt awkward enough explaining to Dylan why I barely know Mike.

Which is another reason I'm looking forward to Friday - I talked to Mike as planned and he agreed to learn Champagne Supernova. I wonder how much more information I can get out of Mike and Will without mom around - surely they'll talk more, maybe even share some juicier college stories. I did manage to get a dinner invitation for mom as well but she'll just be coming for dinner while I'll be going home with Mike and Will straight after school. That should be a big enough window to get some secrets out of them.

I can hear dad getting up so I'll have to go up to breakfast soon. Morning cheer practice is getting redundant now I can only practice the choreo. I might go on a run instead tomorrow. I really should focus on tumbling, but I also don't want to break my promise to Mike. Especially as he has a point - it is dangerous to do it on my own. I'll have to come up with a solution.

Love, Holly

#holly wheeler #the third wheeler #mike wheeler #stranger things #fanfic #will byers #byler #been struggling trying to give you guys more info on Hawkins' reaction to Byler's return and this particular entry eluded me for a long tim

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Anon because reasons. I've been a transman for over ten years. I never thought I would reach out to a TERF but I'm seeing things in my community that scare me and I literally don't know what to do. The transwomen I follow suddenly started reblogging and making posts about protecting transwomen from rape/pedo allegations but I'm conflicted because I was raped by my uncles when I was little. I feel like I'm going crazy idk why I'm asking you I just feel so dysregulated and distressed. Please don't hurt me or expose me, idk what they would do if they realized I was talking to terfs.

I have no wish or intent to hurt or expose you, so have no fear of that. To be upfront: I am a feminist. I do see sexual assault primarily as a hate crime men commit against women and girls (rape). Women and girls being female humans and men being male ones. But you already knew that. For the purposes of this response, however, I will use gender neutral language where possible.

Honestly, ten years ago I had no idea I'd be where I'm at now. I was considering identifying as agender and was only just starting to become uncomfortable with trans activists. The biggest reason was, even back then, protecting predatory behaviour. Unfortunately, as the years have gone by it's only gotten worse. Maybe it's not something you've come across until now, so I imagine this must be a shock, or maybe the people around you doing it used a lot of weasel words and it hasn't become apparent until now.

Either way it's a terrible thing to realize the people you consider your community just don't think sexual assault is that big a deal, especially when they've said it is, but their actions are showing otherwise.

It's a betrayal to those of us who have been sexually assaulted and don't want that to happen to anyone else ever again. Especially if the person who sexually assaulted you was someone you trusted. What your uncle did to you was already a horrific betrayal. To know someone you respect would say he should be protected from your allegations if x reason (in this case if he identified as trans, but this can happen in other ways; someone I greatly respected called Julian Assange a friend after he raped two women; that sucked and I stopped keeping up with him after that) is a betrayal on top of that.

I was molested by my stepfather and some fucked up shit happened when my biological father showed me off to his friends when I was a toddler. I know that pain well. "Valid" is a word that's certainly been over-used and misused, but right now I'm going to use in the way it was used at the Sexual Assault Crisis Centre I attended: your feelings on this are valid.

Sexual assault is one of the worst things a person can do to someone. Saying that people who do those things should be protected for any reason, that alleged victims should be doubted, that alleged perpetrators should be given the benefit of the doubt is fucked up. You are not in the wrong for feeling uncomfortable and worse about it. That just shows you have your humanity.

Now, I'm not going to tell you what else you should think, but what I will say is: I'm not afraid of the women here knowing I talk to men. Or trans people for that matter. Even if I was reaching out to vent. At most they might question why I chose a man and not a woman, but ultimately it just wouldn't be an issue. It's not that there are no assholes here--there are quite a few--but most of them are easily ignored and those that aren't typically get pushback for being assholes and eventually end up leaving or ostracized.

Do you think that it's healthy, as a literal trans-identified person yourself, for people in a community to be so afraid of one another that they can't let anyone know if they talk to certain people? Now, I'm sure it's not as simple as just dropping people who act this way. I've known people with shitty friend groups. It's hard. It's hard when all of your peers seem to support certain behaviour. I get it. I am in no way expecting that you're suddenly going to drop your community.

But I'm not talking to them. I'm talking to you, the person who reached out to me. From one survivor of familial sexual assault to another: you don't deserve to be treated this way. You don't deserve to have your pain trivialized, even indirectly, for a cause. So even if you can't talk to any of your peers about it (and maybe you can! maybe there are people you know who feel the exact same way), I want you to know in your heart that this is wrong and you're right to feel that it's wrong.

And when you're ready, whatever that looks like, I hope you can get out of this and find a community where you would never be punished for raising concerns about something like this. You would be upheld and loudly supported because that shit just wouldn't fly.

Take care of yourself, anon. I hope you have a good day/evening. I hope your uncle rots and I hope the transwoman you're following becomes a better person. Or falls down a well. Whichever comes first.

[starkandthewaynes]

Ghosts from the past Pt. 7

All the founding members of the Justice League and Dark team were seated around the conference table, with the bats, three young adults, and a toddler. "Batman, what is going on?" Wonder Woman asks as two of the young adults stand up, powering on their presentation. The first slide read: The American government is trying to declare war on ghosts???? Tucker smirks at the clickbait title. "Danny, Jazz, what haven't you told me?" John Constantine asks his niece and nephew. "We're getting there Uncle John." Danny says, crossing his arms. 

Sam nods as she hits a button. "First thing you have to understand, Ghosts, just like people, can be good or bad, and they can reform. They are sentient, they have their own ruling systems of government and laws, and culture. They are a people simply on the other side of the veil." Sam says as pictures are shown of the ghost zone. "Now the Ghost Zone or more widely known by Ghosts as the Infinite Realms is essentially a mirrored dimension to our own, and there are scientists who have punched a whole into this dimension without the citizen's permission. This portal has led to our hometown, Amity Park, being ground zero for the paranormal." Sam says, as the slides continue.  "Now because biased scientists are considered the lead experts in the field of ecto-ology, the united states government has passed laws called the ecto laws and have created their own ghost hunting branch," Tucker says as everyone in the room's stomachs filled with dread. 

"The ectolaws state that any beings that are made of or consume ectoplasm in any form are non-sentient and therefore cannot feel pain, they deem it is acceptable to capture and experiment on the beings from the Infinite Realms." Sam says, as Danny wants to run out of the room. "And they have already done so to the ruling monarch of the Realms." Sam says as Danny stands up, taking a deep breath. "Danny?" Sam asks, as Danny stands up on a chair to be seen by everyone. "My name is Danny Fenton, and the Dr.s Fenton, my adoptive parents, are the scientists Sam talked about. Their portal didn't work, until I hit a button on the inside. It gave me a shock, and I woke up to what the ghosts call a half, half-ghost, half-human." Danny says, his eyes watering, but he looks at JJ. 

"After a year of me being my towns only hero, another ghost awoken the evil ghost king, Pariah Dark, a ghost so feared his real name was erased from our history." He says as Jason nods. "He, he took my town into the Infinite Realms, where I then defeated him in single combat. I became the new Ghost King." Danny whispers, looking down. "And now my friends are getting hurt because I can't protect them, because I was hurt." Danny says, sniffling. "And, and I gotta help them, I wanna help them, they're my friends. "I was captured, and then, the Dr. Fentons cut me and hurt me really badly. And, and after they were done, they handed me over to the GIW, where I was hurt and drained." Danny says, as tears go down his face. "Pawpaw had to rescue me, he had to turn me into a toddler to keep me safe, and then Jazzy took me to Gotham." Danny says, as he wipes his eyes. "I need your help, to help my friends, I don't want what happened to me to happen to them, so pwease help, you're my only hope." He says, as he runs to Jazz's arms, crying even more, so she and Red Hood leave. 

"How did the meta-human protection laws miss this?" Superman asks as Sam sighs. "The GIW built a firewall to keep Amity Park separated from the rest of the world. They captured a ghost of technology to create it. Nothing gets in or out unless you have access to ectoplasm." Tucker explains as Sam is watching the door. "He'll be okay, Sam, it's Danny." Tucker says, as Sam shakes her head. "We don't know if he's stuck like that, Tucker!" Sam shouts as Tucker sighs. "I know that, but getting upset won't help him at all." Tucker says as Sam growls. 

"What do you mean?" Wonder-Woman asks as the two friends nod. "Danny was 14 when everything started. We tried calling you guys, to get help, but we kept getting a busy signal, so Danny took on the role of a hero all on his own." Sam says, her voice telling how much she cares. "We were his backup, but there were so many times where we couldn't help him or we just got in his way. Tucker and I were on our family's vacations when he was taken. and by the time we got back, Danny and Jazz were packing, and Danny was a baby." Sam says, as Tucker holds her shoulders. "He's gotten a little older in just the year they've been here. He looks like a three or four-year-old." Tucker says as Sam shakes her head. "We should've seen the signs." Sam says as Tucker shakes his head. "We couldn't have known." Tucker says as John stands up. "I want you two to hear this and listen well. My nephew and Niece don't want you two beating yourselves up over what's happened. You're here now, you're doing your best to help. And as far as his age is concerned, I've had a chat with Chronos about it, the spell will eventually dissipate as Danny gets safer and safer. He's already 6 or 8 since finding Hood and the bats." John says as the two young adults look hopeful. Thank the Ancients. 

@blacksea21090 | @ashenfairytale | @pastalavistamf | @runoverghost | @emergentpanda-blog | @bobred18 | @blankliferain

last next

#batfam #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #dp x dc crossover #bruce wayne #steph brown #dick grayson #cassandra cain #toddler danny #danny phantom #ghost king danny #danny fenton #danny nightingale #jazz fenton #jazz nightengale #tucker foley #sam manson #justice league #justice league dark #batman #red hood #john constantine #wonder woman #superman

[strawbubbysugar]

Happy birthday Bubby!

Couple more questions!

-Are you able to say everyone’s ages in So(u)l, including the animatronics?

-Does June ever play his guitar and sing in public or at bars or anything or does he only do that at home now?

-Soulmate question, kinda regarding Rush and Morgan’s bond, does that imply that if you don’t have a soulmate due to your previous one passing away, you can get a new bond later even if your future soulmate already exists? Like the string will “wait” kinda until they’re ready? Or was Morgan and Rush’s string there right when Rush woke up?

-What are June, Hello, and Goodbye’s main fidgets/stims?

-Okay this might be weird lol but I’m curious, what are Hello and Goodbye’s favorite little things that June does in his sleep? Does he talk, twitch, unconsciously cling to them like a koala, anything like that?

-What kind of odd jobs does June do on the side?

Thank you!!

i wanna keep it vague, but June is roughly in his mid 20's matt is roughly in his mid-late 30's Marlow is roughly one year younger than June Morgan is two years older than June Hello is a year old (his AI is somewhere around June's age) Goodbye was a year older than June (now the same age as Hello) Rush is around 8 years old (his ai is early 30's) Wibble is around 6 years old (his ai is the same as Rush) Cammie is 4 around years old (her ai is the same as wibble and rush) Octavia is around 2 years old, but was technically never completed (her size makes it much easier to fit a more complex system in her, so her mental age is around 40) The skrittles have the same AI age as toddlers, but theyre a few months old Astro Cadet has been worked on off and on for about six years, and his ai is about the same age. It grows much slower than the WOW branded animatronics

Absolutely no in public things. He's gotten a lot more shy about performing since his band days. He only ever plays for hello/goodbye and piper

Soulmate marks are all about right time, right place. if you arent the version of yourself that would be soulmates with someone, no markings will show up. Morgan was a very different person with their last soulmate, and their life experiences changed who they are. it happens! people change, especially as they get older. its why a lot of people are told not to be upset if they dont get any markings until later on (SPOILERS BELOW) Its why samir and june didnt have any soul marks until samir was goodbye. he wasnt the person that wouldve been soulmates with june yet, he needed to experience and change and grow before that would happen. So did june!

June chews his lip a lot, and sighs. Sometimes he sighs for no reason just because he forgot to breathe. I think his favourite fidget toy would be one of those fidget cubes Hello stims by waving/flapping his arms, or playing with his hands. I think he'd enjoy fidget spinners or rubix cubes! Goodbye stims with squeezing/pressure. He'd enjoy weighted blankets, and I think he'd enjoy stress balls. Ones with thick stuff inside so he can really squeeze down

Hello likes it when June sighs in his sleep, or mumbles. Goodbye thinks its funny when he snores on occasion, and records it to play it back while pretending to nap. (taking inspiration from my roommate bc its hilarious, sometimes june will make the saddest, softest little sigh in his sleep and hello will wake him up like "WERE YOU HAVING A BAD DREAM ARE YOU OKAY" & june will be entirely confused)

June does a lil of everything. people in town come to him for a lot of stuff like yard work, painting houses/fences, cleaning houses. He occasionally comes into bryn's office and helps with anything they might need too, like fixing the chairs, etc. He's known as a jack of all trades around town (which makes him feel nostalgic, since that used to be what he called his childhood best friend)

#ask #so(u)l project #i ADORE getting these asks #theyre so fun

[wonderlandleighleigh]

26 pages of fic in retaliation of the spoilers. So spoiler alert for the season 5 spoilers that have come out.

September, 1989

“Mama, no.” 

Midge wrinkles her nose. “What do you mean, ‘Mama, no,’ what is that supposed to mean?” 

Esther huffs as she follows her mother around the kitchen. “You can’t cook for twenty-six people, it’s too many!” 

“Please, I’ve cooked for armies!” 

“Real armies?” Eden asks, her ears perking up as she watches her partner chase Midge around. 

“Armies of comics,” Midge shrugs at her daughter-in-law. “Armies of musicians. Hungry entertainers, mostly.” 

“So not even as well-behaved as soldiers,” Eden jokes as she lifts her son up from the floor and snuggles the toddler. 

“Not nearly,” Midge responds.

“It’s too many people,” Esther presses. “Get it catered.” 

“God, no.” 

“Mama.” 

“Esther.” 

“You shouldn’t have to bust your ass in the kitchen all day,” Esther argues. “You just got home from a tour, don’t you want to relax?” 

“How long have we known each other?” Midge asks. 

Esther blinks. “You gave birth to me.” 

“And you’re how old?” 

“Mama.” 

“You’re thirty-one,” Midge answers for her. “Which means you’ve had thirty-one years to realize that relaxing is not my thing.” 

“But-” 

“It’s very sweet of you to worry, Honey,” Midge smiles, wrapping an arm around her daughter. “Really, I love you for being concerned, but the best way to decompress from two months on tour is to make a shitload of food that will eventually kill you all, and then force-feed it to you while I criticize all your choices.” 

“Seems like she’s dead set,” Eden comments. 

“I once cooked for two hundred people at Uncle Shy’s house for an album release party,” Midge tells them as she gets to work. “Monica fired the caterers five hours before the party started and then locked herself in the master bathroom, and I get this completely panicked phone call from Shy, begging me to come and do…something with the truck-load of food the caterers left because it was already paid for. So it’s me, Jerome, Bonnie and Gordon in the kitchen, while Shy, Lenny and Carly are trying to coax Monica out of the bathroom, and the only thing that did it was some cocaine someone had brought to the party..” 

Eden blinks as silence blankets the kitchen, before she turns to Esther. “Sometimes your mother tells these stories and I don’t know if they’re true or not.” 

“Ask Lenny, all true. I was six months’ pregnant with Lily at the time.” 

“I was very tempted by that cocaine, by the way,” Lenny says as he wanders in, lifting little Joshy from Eden’s arms. “I talked myself out of it by pretending if I did cocaine, it would somehow hurt the baby Midge was pregnant with.” 

Eden blinks again. “That’s…weird.” 

“And effective.” 

“Esther thinks we should have Rosh Hashanah catered,” Midge tells her husband.

He gives his stepdaughter a confused look. “It’s too late to get it catered now.” 

Esther rolls her eyes. “You’re comedy legends, I’m pretty sure if you snapped your fingers real hard someone would come running to cater Lenny Bruce and Midge Maisel’s Rosh Hashanah dinner.” 

“Why would we do that?” Lenny asks, still confused.

“Give it up, Babe,” Eden chuckles. “They’re never gonna outsource dinner.” 

“Especially since cooking keeps me out of the same room as your father for as long as possible,” Midge adds. 

“You could have just…not invited him,” Esther points out. 

“No, I can’t.” 

“Yes, you can.” 

“Nope! He’s still family. He sucks - that’s what the kids are saying now, right? Sucks?” 

“Sucks,” Lenny agrees. 

Midge nods confidently before turning back to Esther. “He sucks, but he’s still family, so he gets the invite.” 

“He could just decline,” Lenny points out. “And he never does.” 

“Well, someone has to bring Zeyde,” Esther points out.

“Lan and Charlie are in town, Lan could bring Moishe,” Midge says. 

“This keeps getting more hopeless,” Esther comments. 

“Mama is going a little crazy, Joshy,” Lenny tells the toddler in his arms, bouncing him a little. 

Esther sighs and takes her son from his arms. “I come by it honestly.” 

***** 

Ethen steps into his mother and stepfather’s home, leading his wife and two children inside from the breezy weather. 

It’s a large brownstone in the Village, decorated with a tasteful mix of built-in wood accents and bright colors. A perfect blend of both of the people who own the house. 

These days, even though all of the kids have moved out, both Ethan’s grandmother Rose, and Zelda, the family’s former housekeeper, call this place home, though Zelda is out for the evening.

Ethan had been worried once everyone left the nest, it would just be his parents rattling around this big place, but he’s heartened, knowing that they’re able to take care of a few of the more elderly members of the family, though Susie still refuses to give up her lavish, custom interior uptown apartment. 

“I worked hard for this,” she told him when the subject came up over drinks. “I’m not ready to call quits on it. The bathtub is too fucking good and the exact height for me to get into.” 

Fair enough.

“Okay, team,” Ethan says, turning to his family. “You know the drill: If you’ve got the shpilkes, go run out in the garden, but don’t pull up Pop-pop’s flowers. Be nice to your cousins, and for the love of God, please do not kick Papa Joel this time?” 

“That was my fault,” Julia chimes in. “He insinuated your mother was a slut, so I told Noah to kick him.” 

Ethan blinks and thinks that over. “That’s fair. But no kicking tonight, okay?” 

Noah nods dutifully as Norah goes running down the hall for the kitchen. 

“Softa, Softa!” she squeaks, and Ethan hears his mother’s voice as she showers the little girl with affection. 

“Here we go,” he mutters, lifting Noah over his shoulder and heading for the kitchen. “You gotta stop telling our kids to kick people.” 

“What else are they for?” Julia jokes. “It’s not like we can cook them and eat them.” 

“Why not?” Ethan asks.

“Don’t eat me!” Noah shouts. 

“Ethan, stop threatening to cannibalize your son,” Rose’s voice admonishes from behind them.

He swings around and grins at his grandmother. It’s odd to see her at this age, in her eighties, but she’s definitely still her. Certainly she’s slowed down, but she’s still sharp. 

“Hi, Gramma,” Ethan grins, kissing her cheek. “Ready for the chaos?” 

“As I’ll ever be,” Rose responds, letting herself be kissed. “Hello, Julia. I love your hair today.” 

“Aw, thanks, Rose,” Julia beams. “You look nice, too.” 

“I,” Rose tells them, lifting her chin, “am old.” 

“And still gorgeous,” Lenny says, peeking out of the kitchen. “Everybody in to say hello.” 

Ethan grins and heads past Lenny, straight to his mother, kissing her cheek. “Hey, Ma.” 

“My boys!” Midge chirps, kissing both Ethan and then Noah. “How was the drive?” 

“Fine,” Ethan shrugs. “Nothing to write home about.” 

“Hi, Gramma,” Esther grins, hugging Rose. “How are you?” 

“Old,” she tells her a little forlornly, before lifting Joshy out of her arms. “But this makes me feel better.” 

“Hi, Rose,” Eden says, getting to her feet. 

“Eden,” Rose nods coolly. “So nice to see you.” 

Ethan watches the interaction closely without comment, knowing that Esther’s coming out had been a little fraught at first. While most of the family hadn’t batted much of an eye (Lan came out a year earlier after all), Rose had been more than a little shocked. Though Midge had been quick to point out that there were stories of Abe dating a man back in the day. 

“It was the twenties!” Rose had countered. 

“Well, now it’s the eighties and your granddaughter is dating a woman,” Midge had shot back. “Get over it.” 

Ethan’s never seen Esther cry quite that hard.

“So we’re currently missing…almost everyone,” Julia points out, looking around the room after getting a cheek kiss from Lenny. 

“My God,” Lenny marvels, turning to Midge playfully. “I wonder where all of them could have learned this horrific lack of punctuality.” 

“Keep it up, you don’t get any challah,” she shoots back, making Ethan, Esther, Julia and Eden hoot teasingly. 

“Dad’s in trouble,” Esther sing-songs. 

Midge shakes her head, amused. In the old apartment, Ethan knows she would have shooed everyone out, because it was too small, but the brownstone has an enormous kitchen, perfect for this kind of gathering, and he can’t say he minds. 

“So, Chaim and Rachela have Bram of course, and they’re bringing Astrid,” Midge tells them. “Joel is bringing Moishe. Mei and Lan and Charlie are all coming together. Ella had a piano lesson, so Kitty said they’d be running a little late…Lily is always late, but I’m hoping that the new boyfriend will be a good influence.” 

“Have you met him yet?” Esther asks, looking intrigued. 

“I haven’t,” Midge admits. “Lenny has. He surprised her with lunch at the lab a couple of weeks ago, and he was there.” 

“Tall, Jewish, named Benj,” Lenny tells them. “Seemed nice. Some kinda chemist or some such.” 

Ethan tilts his head at his stepfather. “Oh, you hate him.” 

“No.”

“A little.” 

“...Maybe a little.” 

“You’re Lily’s father,” Rose points out. “Of course you hate the man she’s seeing.” 

“Abe loved me,” Lenny points out.

“Abe was going through a midlife crisis when he met you,” Rose counters. 

“In any case,” Midge chimes in. “That leaves Susie.” She turns to Ethan. “Where is Susie?” 

“At the Gaslight to check out a new act,” Ethan tells her. 

“In the afternoon?” Midge asks, baffled. 

Ethan shrugs. “She said she’d be along.” 

“Okay! Then I’m gonna get going here. The challahs are nearly done.” She whirls around as everyone starts to lunge for the oven. “Don’t you dare.” 

They all looked chastened as they back away.

***** 

“Are you sure we shouldn’t use the front door?” Benj asks as he follows Lily through the garden gate and towards the back door.

She blinks back at him, tilting her head. “Why would we do that?” 

“Because it’s polite,” Benj points out. 

Lily thinks about that. She’s never really thought about it, having spent her life since moving with her parents to this brownstone using the garden entrance to be able to check her father’s flowers and herbs before heading inside. 

“But I lived here,” Lily tells him. 

“You don’t now,” Benj shrugs. “I mean- don’t get me wrong. This garden is amazing. Did you do this?” 

“My dad,” Lily says. “He used to work on a farm when he was young. Most people don’t know he’s got a green thumb.” 

“Cool,” Benj grins. 

“You still want to use the front door,” Lily surmises. 

“...It feels like they might like me more if I use the front door,” he admits sheepishly. “I want to make a good impression.” 

“Fastest way to the front door is going through the garden door, down the hall and out the front door,” Lily tells him. 

“Wait, what?” 

“Come on.” 

***** 

Midge frowns as she hears the garden door open and close. She leans out of the kitchen, spotting her daughter and who she assumes is the boyfriend heading for the front door. 

“Lily?” 

“We’re not here yet!” she calls back. “Benj wants to use the front door!” 

Midge’s frown deepens as Lenny joins her at the doorway.

“You know,” he muses. “When she was first born, I never could have predicted that our genetics would mix quite that way.” 

Midge giggles a little. “Fun, though.” 

They watch as the front door opens and Lily and Benj step inside.

“We’re here! And we used the front door!” Lily calls. “Please be nice to my boyfriend!” 

Midge tries hard not to laugh as she steps out and hugs her youngest child. “Hi, Sweetie.” 

“Hi, Mama. This is Benj. He’s polite.” 

Midge smiles understandingly at Benj. “Hi. Nice to meet you. Welcome. For future reference, we all expect Lily to come in through the garden. No front doors necessary when you’re with her.” 

He grins sheepishly as they shake hands. “Good to know.” 

***** 

Moishe Maisel has lived a big, long life. He has seen war and death and life and good business and bad business and very bad business, and joy and heartache, and great things and stupid things, and grandchildren and great-grandchildren and everything that comes with the highs and lows of living.

But for all of his experience, he still doesn’t really understand his only son.

“You could date, you know,” he says as they walk up the sidewalk towards the Weissman/Bruce brownstone. “Find someone.” 

“So could you,” Joel shoots back.

“What do I wanna date for?” Moishe asks. “There’s not another Shirley out there.” 

Joel huffs out a breath as he stops in front of the large house, looking up at it pensively. “You know, we could just get some deli and go home.” 

“Why would we do that?” Moishe asks. “Miriam’s cooking a feast, she always does.” 

“It’s just-” he blows out a breath. “Why do I keep doing this to myself?” 

Moishe wrinkles his nose. “Doing what? Going to family dinners? Seeing your children and grandchildren?” 

“Going to Midge’s house.” 

“Because she’s the only one with enough space to host everyone.” 

Joel shrugs helplessly. “Well, maybe next year it could just be us and Ethan and his family.” 

“Ethan hates you,” Moishe reminds him.

“Esther’s then.” 

“Eden hates you.” 

“Well, then Lan!” 

“Lan is never here, lives with your second ex-wife, and you still can’t get over your farkakte feelings about his boyfriend.” 

Joel throws up his arms in frustration. “Fine! I fucked things up thirty years ago and everybody still thinks I’m an asshole, and now every time I come here for a holiday or a family get-together, no one lets me forget it!” 

Moishe stares at his son for a long moment and he thinks about trying to be supportive. About trying to give him advice and how all of that advice has fallen on deaf ears for decades. 

Instead, he opens the gate and walks up the pathway to the porch. “Lenny’s azaleas are really poppin’ this year!”

Behind him, he knows Joel is rolling his eyes, but following him.

***** 

Esther beams as she opens the door on her grandfather. “Zeyde!” 

She hugs the older man tightly, kissing his cheek. 

“Oh, my sweet little Esther, you look good!” Moishe tells her, rubbing her arms. “Where’s my great-grandson? I have a candy for him.” 

“Zeyde…” 

Moishe wanders past her, on the lookout for said great-grandchild, as Joel steps in.

“Pop, hi,” Esther says, kissing his cheek awkwardly. 

“Hey, Sweetie. Things devolve into chaos yet?” 

“No, everything is fine,” Esther tells him, a little confused. 

“Lenny must be out of town,” Joel tries to joke.

“...No, he’s in the garden with Ethan and Julia and Lily and her new boyfriend…” 

“...Right.” 

She leads him back into the kitchen, where her mother is still cooking while Eden and Rose keep her company.

Eden lifts an unimpressed eyebrow at Esther’s father. “Joel.” 

“Hi, Eden. Doin’ good?” 

“Sure.” 

“Hi, Joel,” Midge says politely as she keeps working.

“Midge.” 

“Look who I found!” Moishe crows as he shuffles into the kitchen, carrying Joshy and flanked by Noah and Norah. 

“Hey!” Joel smiles, hugging the kids. “Look at you guys!” 

“The kinder look good,” Moishe agrees, before smiling at the assembled group. “Hello, Miriam. Rosie, Eden.” 

Eden grins at him. “Hi, Moishe. How’s the retirement community?” 

He shuffles over and takes a seat with her at the kitchen island. “You would not believe the mishegas these nuts get up to.” 

“Ooooh, geriatric gossip,” Midge teases. “Let’s hear it.” 

Esther glances back at her father as Moishe begins to regale them with his tales. “Pop, why don’t you take the twins out back to run around?” 

“I’m good,” Joel tells her. “Really, Es, it’s fine.” 

“I mean, you’re lying, but okay.” 

“Esther.” 

She shrugs, and starts to respond, when the front door opens and closes again.

“Hellooooo!” 

She’s not terribly proud of losing interest in her father’s discomfort, but the sound of her beloved older sister’s voice after not having seen her for a while tends to send her reeling back into her childhood. “Kitty!” 

She finds herself barrelling out of the kitchen and back to the front door, hugging Kitty tightly. 

Kitty giggles, hugging her back. “Oooh, there she is! Hi!”

 “Hi!” Esther responds against her shoulder. “Hi, hi, hi.” 

“Aunt Es!” Ella squeaks from behind them and Esther lets go of Kitty to hoist the five-year-old into her arms. 

“Look at this beautiful rock star,” Esther says, kissing the little girl’s cheek. “How was piano?” 

“Fun,” Ella tells her, giggling. 

“Hey, Esther,” Daniel says as he helps Kitty out of her coat.

“Hi, Daniel, good to see you,” Esther grins. “Everyone is here except Lan and Mei and Charlie, and Aunt Astrid, Chaim and Rachela and Bram.” 

“Thank god we’re not the last ones here,” Kitty huffs. “Remember the last time?” she asks her husband. “Rose stared daggers right into my soul.” 

“Your soul, what about mine?” Daniel jokes. “She cornered me in the kitchen and gave me an entire lecture on punctuality.” 

“Which is hilarious because Mama has never been on time for one thing in her whole life, including her second wedding, and Lily’s birth,” Esther adds, making them all laugh.

“Uh-oh, did I miss a joke?” Lenny asks as he steps into the foyer. 

Ella squeaks and wiggles down from Esther’s arms. “Pop-Pop!!” 

Lenny chuckles as he scoops her up, kissing her firmly on the cheek. “There she is!” 

“Pop-Pop, I have so much to tell you!” Ella says. 

“Okay, before you regale Pop-Pop with stories of piano lessons and kindergarten,” Kitty laughs, leaning forward to hug her father. “Hi, Daddy.” 

“Hey, Kit,” Lenny says, hugging her as he still holds Ella. “Hi, Daniel.” 

“Hey, Dad,” Daniel responds, grinning. “How are things looking so far?” 

“Same old. Lily brought her boyfriend.” 

Kitty gasps and turns to Esther. “How is he? Is he cute? Is he nice? Do we need to grab Ethan and talk about where to hide the body?” 

“Okay, first of all,” Esther laughs. “He’s cute, and he seems very nice, and second of all, Lily is very capable of hiding her own bodies.” 

“What? No, she’s not, she’s a little baby and we need to protect her.” 

“She’s twenty-four.”

“Exactly!”  

“You know you’re the daughter of two criminals, when…” Esther teases, making everyone laugh again.

“That funny bone is wasted in the courtroom,” Lenny tells her. “Quit and get a writing gig.” 

“Never,” Esther smirks. 

Lenny shakes his head before turning back to his granddaughter. “Tell Pop-Pop all about your adventures!” 

Kitty smiles and wraps her arms around Esther. “And you tell me about yours. How is Eden? How is Joshy?” 

Esther beams at her sister and tells her.

***** 

Eventually, the rest of the family show up, with Lan showering his nieces and nephews in hugs and praise for how grown-up they all look, and Mei latches herself onto Midge in the kitchen as she cooks. 

“So? How is LA?” 

“It’s wonderful,” Mei tells her as she sits down. “Really, Midge. The sun and the food…I keep getting asked to guest lecture and write guest articles. It’s heaven.” 

Midge beams at her. “It’s nice to see you happy.” 

"You and Lenny should move to LA."

Midge scoffs, laughing. "God, no. Lenny hates it there for a wide range of reasons. And we love New York."

Mei rolls her eyes. "Yes, but it would get you away from you-know-who."

"I'm not going to let him scare me into moving across the country, away from my children and my life," Midge says firmly. "He's the miserable one. He can move to LA."

Mei laughs. "Hell, no, you keep him."

Midge sighs heavily and turns to her, taking a seat at the island across from her. "He's been getting more unhappy by the week."

Mei shrugs. "He fucked up two marriages and alienated all three of his children. He lost the club in the seventies to a gambling addiction and he drank his way through the first five years of the eighties, until he realized he wouldn't be able to see his grandchildren if he didn't get his shit together. So color me not shocked."

"I know," Midge says quietly. "I just- feel bad, I guess. He hates that I moved on. He never lets me forget it."

"Then maybe it's time to cut it off," Mei suggests. "This is your house and your life. Ethan and Esther are grown. If they want to spend time with their father, you don't have to be a part of that…I bet Lenny would be relieved."

"I'm pretty sure Lenny stopped acknowledging Joel's existence sometime in 1976." 

"Ooh, good for Lenny."

"Good for Lenny what?" the man in question asks as he steps in with Ella on his hip. 

Midge gasps. "A grandbaby!" she chirps, lifting the little blonde into a hug. 

Mei kisses Lenny's cheek in greeting. "We were talking about how you keep forgetting Joel exists."

"Who?" Lenny jokes with a hand to his mouth. "Oh, him. Yeah he tried to start a fist fight with Ethan that one time after stowing cocaine in our closet, and I thought 'nope,' so now I just ignore him aggressively."

"God, what an awful night," Midge says, snuggling Ella. 

"It was awful," Mei agrees. "But a lot has changed for the better."

Midge smiles and kisses Ella's temple before setting her down. "Go play, sweetie."

She does, and Midge turns back to Mei and Lenny. “Mei thinks we need to stop inviting Joel to the house.” 

“She’s right,” Lenny nods firmly. “I know you feel bad for him, Midge. But he’s not your responsibility.” 

She nods slowly, thinking that over. “I guess - I guess I just never thought about not trying to help him.” 

“I know,” Lenny tells her, taking her hand. “But it might be time to finally start.” 

“No might,” Mei interjects. “Definitely.” 

****

"Ethan."

"Pop."

Susie watches the father-son interaction with its cold overtones and sighs. "You two ever gonna bury that hatchet?"

"You know?" Ethan ponders. "I'm good." 

"Fucksake," Susie grumbles. 

Noah giggles. "Fucksake!"

Susie nods. "Exactly, kid."

"Jesus, Susie!" Joel cries. 

"He's not here, we're Jewish," Ethan comments before turning to his son. "What'd we say?"

Noah pouts guiltily. "No bad f bombs."

Ethan nods, satisfied. "That's right."

"You are an excellent parent," Susie praises him. 

Ethan nods. "Damn right I am."

*****

Dinner is, of course, incredible. 

While Lily is very good with plants and even animals, the culinary arts have eluded her for most of her life. 

She’s very good at boiling rice in chicken stock and adding some cheese and a little hot sauce, but beyond that, it all feels a little nebulous. 

Her mother, however, is magical in the kitchen, and tonight’s feast is no exception. 

“Mama, everything looks amazing,” she tells her mother, smiling up at the woman. 

Midge beams at her. “Well, dig in.” 

Everyone does, and Lily smiles, turning to Benj. 

“I’m really glad you’re Jewish so I don’t have to explain all the food to you,” she tells him happily. “And you won’t get weird about it.” 

Benj smiles back at her, obviously amused and a little charmed. “Well, I’m glad to eat all of it. It looks incredible. My father isn’t much of a cook.” 

“Your mother isn’t around?” Julia asks curiously as they pass food around the table.

“Ah…no. She uh…she left us when I was little, so it was always just my father and me,” Benj explains with a sheepish grin.

Lily nudges him gently and grins at him. “You wanna share mine? She’s a little crazy, but she does make a mean brisket.” 

Benj laughs and kisses her cheek, before digging into the food. 

***** 

Ethan finds his mother prepping coffee and dessert in the kitchen and wordlessly starts to lend a hand, pouring cups before starting a fresh pot. 

“How you doing, kid?” Midge asks as she slices up the apple cake. 

“Ah, y’know. Happy to see everybody. Most everybody.”

“Your dad getting you down?” Midge frowns. 

“Same as always,” Ethan shrugs. “Shit never changes with him, even though we all keep moving on. Lily’s new boyfriend. The rest of us have kids and jobs…you and Lenny keep working and changing. Even Susie.” 

Midge grins warmly. “The Friar’s Club has been bothering Susie again. They want to roast the shit out of her.” 

“Is it my birthday already?” Ethan jokes.

“You tell me, I can’t remember what we decided your birthday actually is anymore,” Midge chuckles softly and hands him a piece of cake. “Your favorite.” 

Ethan grins and takes the plate, taking a bite. “Mmm. You still got it. You should host a cooking show, like the Frugal Gourmet or something.” 

She waves a dismissive hand. “I’d get thrown off the air for my terribly scandalous stories.” 

“We pitch it to HBO.” 

“With the porn?” Midge laughs. 

“Ah, you’ve shown your boobs to an audience before,” Ethan jokes. 

“God, I so wish I could still ground you,” Midge tells him, laughing harder. 

He nudges her and eats more cake. “Hey everybody! Coffee!! Cake!!” 

***** 

Esther lounges on a lawn chair in the garden, eating some honey cake as Lenny sits in the one next to her, sipping on a cup of coffee. 

“You know what I’ve been thinking about?” Esther asks, considering her cake. 

“Hm?” 

“The day we met,” Esther tells him. “It’s one of my first, full memories. I must have been…three? Four? And you came over for dinner - the whole family was there - and for some reason you were sitting next to me.” 

Lenny grins at her fondly. “I remember. I cut up your chicken for you.” 

“You did. And you poured me some juice.” She smiles. “And I remember you looked at me like…I mattered to you. Even though we hadn’t ever met before and you were a stranger. You cared.” 

Lenny thinks about that for a long moment, sighing softly. “You were Midge’s, and she’s always mattered to me. So you mattered, too. And I was really missing Kitty. Missing being a dad. It felt good to stretch those dad muscles, even though you weren’t technically mine.” 

Lan wanders over then, a bottle of whiskey in his hands. “I’m the fun fairy,” he announces as he dribbles a little into Lenny’s mug. 

Esther gasps and lifts her own mug from the ground. “Me, me!” 

Lan pours some into hers as well, before sitting on the grass in front of them. “Are we having serious conversations?” 

“Nah, just talking about old times,” Lenny chuckles, sipping his coffee. “Just the right amount. Good pour.” 

Esther sips her own. “How is Charlie holding up?” 

“He is hanging out with Julia, looking at old family photos,” Lan tells him, taking a sip of the whiskey. “Which he loves. And I love him for it, but also? I was not that cute of a baby.” 

“An enormous lie and we all know it,” Lenny points at him. “Astrid!” 

“Yes!” Astrid calls from across the grass, sitting with Chaim and Kitty. 

“Wasn’t Lan the cutest fucking baby!” 

“The absolute most adorable!” Astrid calls back. “He had the chubbiest little cheeks and the tiniest little tush!” 

Lan shakes his head. “Oh, my god.” 

Esther giggles and offers him some cake, which he readily takes a bite of. “Seen Dad?” 

“Sitting on the front porch alone,” Lan says. “I tried to talk to him but he got weird.” 

“I think he’s turning into a weird old man,” Esther says, fretting. 

“Well, yes,” Lan agrees. “He’s been heading that way for like a decade.” 

“Is it weird that I’m worried about it?” Esther asks. 

“No,” Lenny tells her, reaching out to pat her hand. “He’s your dad. You’re supposed to worry about him. God knows Kitty and Lily worry about me sometimes. It’s just part of the deal. But at the end of the day, he’s a grown man. He has to figure out his own shit, no matter how much you wanna help him out.” 

“Yeah, you’ve got a two-year-old already,” Lan jokes. “You don’t need another.” 

Esther nods. “I know you’re right. I guess I just wish things were less bad with him.” 

“We all wish that,” Lan commiserates. “But we have each other.” 

“Fun fairy!” Chaim calls, lifting his mug. “Refill!” 

“Oops, that’s my cue,” Lan grins, hopping to his feet. “Fun fairy is back on the clock!” 

Lenny chuckles softly and shakes his head. “You kids are a fucking delight.” 

Esther nods, lifting her mug. “Yes, we are.” 

***** 

Kitty helps Rachela, Ethan and Eden put all the kids to bed in the “kids room.” 

Midge had had it redecorated with four built-in bunk beds. It’s stylish but fun at the same time, giving the kids an entire room all their own to sleep over in. 

“Truly, this would have been Bubbe Shirley’s dream, having this kind of room,” Ethan comments with a chuckle. 

“I heard she was an incredible grandmother,” Eden comments as she settles Joshy into a bottom bunk. 

“The best,” Kitty says. “It didn’t matter to her that Lily, Chaim and I weren’t really her grandkids. She lumped us all in together with Ethan, Esther and Lan. We were a set and she refused to break it up.” 

“That’s so sweet,” Rachela says as she settles Bram into another bottom bunk. “I feel so lucky to have been taken in by this big, crazy family.” 

“It hasn’t always been easy,” Ethan tells her. “Y’know. With my parents divorcing early, and everything that happened after. Things were rough for a long time.” He shifts Norah into the top bunch and then settles Noah down underneath. 

“Every family has its problems,” Eden shrugs. 

Kitty settles Ella into the last bottom bunk, unable to really reach the top. “Ours has quite a few. The breakups, drugs, overly healthy egos, run-ins with the law, near-accidental deaths, the CIA popping up every now and then.” 

“Believe me, when Chaim’s father died, the Company came knocking on Astrid’s door multiple times,” Rachela tells them. “Looking for things they thought were there in the house.” 

“They did something similar after Papa Abe died,” Ethan comments. “He worked for Bell Labs for a second and they had to come around and make sure he hadn’t kept anything.” 

“Daddy’s been raided by the cops a few times,” Kitty comments. “It's stressful."

Eden nods. "This family is weird as hell."

They all laugh quietly before stepping out of the room. 

*****

Midge finds him on the front stoop.

"There's coffee."

"So?" Joel snaps as he takes a pull from his cigarette. 

"I was asking if you wanted any," she clarifies. "Lan is running around with a bottle of whiskey, jazzing it up for people,” she smiles, amused. "He's calling himself the fun fairy."

"Just what every father wants to hear about their son," he mutters to himself. 

Midge narrows her eyes. "I thought you were fine with Lan's sexuality."

Joel looks back at her, deeply annoyed. "Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm tired of being fine with all the bullshit that gets thrown at me. Lan and Esther making crazy choices-"

"You think it's a ch-"

"Mei running away from me, Ethan avoiding me, you staying with your pet junkie. Maybe I don't wanna be fine anymore, Midge." 

She stares at him for a long moment, tilting her head and really, truly seeing him for the first time in a long time.

She'd always wondered, had they stayed together, if he would have been different. 

She knows the answer is no. He'd still be discontented and angry and taking it out on her. 

She doesn't think about the next words that leave her lips. 

"I am so grateful you cheated and left," Midge tells him. "Because if I had to deal with this every fucking day, I don't know what I would do."

Joel stares at her in silence for a long time. Ten years ago that would have stung him much more than it does now. 

He takes another drag. "Go fuck yourself, Midge."

She closes the door quietly, and when she turns around, Susie is standing there. 

"Lock the door," the shorter woman tells her. 

"He can just go around the garden," Midge points out. 

"Yeah, and he'll be doing the walk of shame past his ex's husband and a bunch of family members to get back in. Lock it." 

Midge does and Susie puts an arm around her. 

"Let's break out the good booze," Susie says. "That whiskey Lan has is like lighter fluid."

Midge chuckles. "He's still young, his system can take it."

*****

It somehow usually winds up being the six of them and a joint. 

"How is this so smooth?" Kitty marvels as she passes it to Ethan. 

"LA pot is the best," Lan explains. "And nobody checked my bag at the airport."

"Our gain," Lily says as Ethan passes it to her. "Dinner was nice."

Chaim nods in agreement. "Dinner was nice. Been a while. Benj seems like a good guy."

"He is," Lily nods. "He thinks I'm pretty and smart."

"You are pretty and smart," Esther tells her. "You look happy."

"You know? I am," Lily nods. "It feels nice."

Ethan kisses the top of her head and looks out the garden gate, frowning. "Is that-?" 

"Pop trudging through the gate even though he was at the front door?" Lan supplies. "Yes it is."

"Is something wrong with the front door?" Lily calls. "Benj likes the front door."

Joel stops, obviously caught out. "Your mother locked me out," he admits. 

"Because you acted like a douche canoe?" Chaim supplies. 

The rest of them giggle helplessly. 

"Oh my God, where did that even come from?" Kitty asks as she and Esther lean on each other for support as they laugh. 

"An intern at the Times," Chaim supplies. "It sounds good, right? Just rolls right off the tongue!"

Joel shakes his head, looking to the sky. "You kids. You have no respect for your elders. You just do whatever the fuck you want and fuck everyone else."

Esther takes the joint, pulling a long toke. "We learned from the best, Pop. Nobody does selfish asshole quite as expertly as you."

"God, weed makes you articulate," Lan praises her. 

"I once wrote an entire essay on the first amendment while on acid," Esther tells him. "My ass got an A plus." 

"You think you're so funny," Joel grouses. 

"We don't, actually," Ethan shrugs. "Growing up in a house with professional comedians, you learn real quick if you're funny. We just know how to banter." 

"You and I need to have a discussion," Joel tells his oldest. 

"Now? Like right now? Because I'm really stoned, and you're not going to like what I have to say," Ethan tells him. 

"He wouldn't like what you have to say sober, either," Lily points out. 

"Stay outta this, Lily," Joel snaps. 

She gasps loudly. "Good God, I exist to Joel Maisel, he knows my name and everything! It only took twenty-four years! We should celebrate, pass the pot back." 

Mei steps out of the house, wandering over and eyeing the six of them. "Having fun, I see."

"Joel knows my name!" Lily chirps as she coughs. 

The others giggle as covertly as they can. 

"We raised a passel of assholes," Joel tells his second wife. 

Mei shrugs. "An entertaining passel of assholes. Come inside. Leave them be." 

"Bye Pop, love you Pop, don't be mean to anyone inside, Pop!" Lan calls. He takes the joint as he's ignored. "That man hates that I'm gay."

"Hate is probably too strong a word," Kitty says soothingly. "I think he just doesn't get it."

Lan pouts and it earns him a hug from the oldest of his sisters. 

"He doesn't get me, either," Esther commiserates. "And my wife is Korean, so that's an extra layer of 'holy shit, Esther did what?'" 

Kitty wraps her other arm around her. "You both are living your lives and making yourselves happy. That's really important stuff. And the rest of the family gets it. Even Moishe just shrugs his shoulders and ignores that it's not what he's used to."

"Besides, Pop is sixty years old and he still has no idea what he wants," Ethan shrugs as he takes another hit. "He left his wife and kids after only four years, messed up a bunch of relationships, gambled away an entire nightclub and then hid half a brick of cocaine in the house of a recovering drug addict. You're really gonna listen to him?" 

Lan and Lily turn to Ethan, looking confused. 

"Sorry, what?" Lan asks. 

"Joel did what?" Lily says at the same time. 

"Oops," Kitty mutters. 

"I don't know this story, either," Chaim chimes in. "Joel hid drugs here?" 

Ethan sighs heavily and sits back. “It was a little over ten years ago, now. It was right before he gambled the club away. He was turning a blind eye to dealers who had started hanging out late into the night, and some big dealer tasked him with hiding half a brick…he didn’t want it at the club where Archie could find it, so he brought it to family dinner and stashed it in a closet here…Susie was staying over…she goes to get a towel…” 

“And she finds a fuck-ton of blow,” Lan surmises. “Fuck.” 

“She thought it was Daddy’s,” Kitty chimes in. “They had a huge fight about it.” 

“And when it came out that it was Pop’s,” Esther adds, “Ethan punched him in the face.” 

The group goes quiet after that. 

“How are none of us career criminals?” Chaim ponders. 

“I think we’re too dumb,” Lily tells him. “I mean, we’re all booksmart, but I don’t think we have the cold calculating brains for real crime.” 

Lan nods solemnly in agreement. “I’m a terrible mob prince.” 

They all giggle.

***** 

Eden really likes her mother-in-law.

She’d been a little worried, Midge being a big name in comedy, that she’d be kind of a dick. And sometimes she can be, but mostly, when she’s at home and not on stage, she’s just a mom, and now a grandmother.

It helps that her reaction to Esther coming out had been ‘As long as you still give me at least one grandchild, what do I care about the gender of the person you go to bed with every night? Now eat some babka.’ 

And even better, Midge genuinely likes Eden. They have real, meaningful conversations when they visit, and Eden is showered with affection every time they see each other, almost as much as Esther is. 

It’s late now, Esther is outside with her siblings (probably playing bad kid), and Eden is helping Midge with the dishes. 

“So Lenny comes over one morning,” Midge tells her, continuing a delightful story about their family. “And he’s holding an entire gift basket of muffins, sent to him by Carl Reiner as a ‘please tighten up this Dick Van Dyke Show script, I’m dying’ bribe, and a bag of freshly roasted coffee beans in a big paper bag.” 

Eden chuckles as she dries a big cast iron pan. 

“I open the door, he says ‘Good morning, Sweetheart. One of these muffins probably has a laxative in it, wanna figure out which?’” 

Eden laughs fully at that, shaking her head. “Where did the beans come from?” 

“The beans,” Midge tells her, “were from a short little Jewish man named Irving Kramer who lived in a tiny basement apartment in Harlem. He roasted his own coffee beans and sold them for a little quick cash and sometimes drugs.” Midge hands the younger woman another pot to dry. “I have been all over the world, and I tell you, it was the best coffee I’ve ever had.” 

“Maybe it was who you were sharing it with?” Eden offers with a shrug. 

Midge grins at her and nudges her gently. “Eden, turning into a softy.” 

“No.” 

“A little.” 

“Maybe motherhood has made me a little more squishy,” Eden shrugs. “And Esther. That helps.” 

Midge nods in understanding. “I know who I would be without my family. I don’t like to think about it very much, but I know exactly who that person is, and it’s- well, it’s not pretty. So I understand.” 

Eden regards her mother-in-law thoughtfully, imagining a lonely, famous old woman, wandering around a much larger home than this by herself. With only her accolades to keep her company. 

“There any more cake?” Lenny asks as he steps into the kitchen and kisses Midge’s cheek before patting Eden’s arm affectionately. 

“On the island,” Midge tells him. “Sweet tooth finally rearing its head?” 

He nods as he slices himself a piece of honey cake. “Seems so. It’s probably the whiskey and the smell of the pot smoke from the garden.” 

“I can tell them to quit it if it’s bothering you,” Eden offers. 

He waves her off good-naturedly. “I’ll live. I miss it some days, but not enough to indulge, and the occasional almost-contact high is pleasant enough.” He takes a bite and breathes out a sigh of satisfaction. “Mm. You guys see Joel come in through the garden door?” 

“I locked him out the front,” Midge explains. “Susie’s idea.” 

Lenny chuckles.

 Midge turns to him, smiling a little. “We should take a vacation soon.” 

“Yeah?” Lenny ponders, his eyebrows lifting. “Where to this time?” 

Midge shrugs thoughtfully. “Maybe back to Miami.” 

“Good memories,” he beams. “I’m in. You wanna leave tomorrow or what?” 

“You have a gig tomorrow,” Midge reminds him. 

“Rats. We’ll figure it out.” 

“What happened in Miami?” Julia asks as she wanders into the kitchen and steals a bite of Lenny’s cake. 

“Oh, this is good and romantic, you’ll like this one,” Midge tells her, gesturing for both women to have a seat. “I was on tour with Shy Baldwin.” 

“And I was living in a crummy motel by the water,” Lenny chimes in. 

“And one day, I’m sitting at the bar of the Fontainebleau, writing dick jokes…” 

**** 

Eventually, the night winds down completely and people start heading out. 

Esther, Kitty and their families are staying over, as well as Susie, but everyone else is heading home, or in Lan, Charlie and Mei’s case, their hotel. 

Lenny hugs all the kids and sleepy grandkids, saying his goodbyes. As he gets older, the end of the night feels like it gets harder every time. Maybe one day, it will be the last time he says goodbye to these people he adores so much.

“Stop looking so maudlin,” Lily chides him playfully as they hug. “Yom Kippur is in like two weeks, and we’ll all be back to eat another big, over-the-top meal.” 

“Yes, I know, but I miss you when you’re not here,” he admits. “I like when all the kinder are together.” 

“Even when we’re ready to eat each other out of hunger?” Chaim asks as he hefts Bram into his arms. 

“Especially then, it’s a free show,” Lenny jokes. 

“Time for us to go, too,” Moishe says as he shuffles to the door, hugging and kissing on his way. “I will be here with bells on for Yom Kippur.” He eyes his six grandchildren. “Can all of you behave for Yom Kippur?” 

“Yes, Zeyde,” they chorus, earning chuckles and soft laughs from their partners. 

Midge kisses all of the kids and grandkids too, waving them off, and Joel wanders out after Moishe. She stands up a little straighter and smoothes out her dress. “Goodnight, Joel.” 

He nods silently before disappearing down the front steps, and she sighs softly as Lenny settles his hands on her upper arms comfortingly.

“Maybe he doesn’t come to Yom Kippur,” Lenny offers. “Maybe Ethan goes to get Moishe and Joel just…does his own thing.” 

“Please, fuck, that sounds like a dream,” Susie groans. 

Ella giggles sleepily from Daniel’s arms. “Fuck.” 

Lenny lets out a short, sharp laugh, and closes the front door. 

END

#fic #tmmm spoilers #tmmm #Midge x Lenny #and the entire family

[mycupofrum]

Prongsfoot Week 2023

DAY 4 - New to Prongsfoot Week: What type of story that you like to Read and/or Write for this ship?

What I’d like to read:

First wizarding war era slowburn Prongsfoot. After James loses his parents, grief takes its toll on him even if he tries to deny it. They are at war and people die, at least his parents passed away due to natural causes. But James has never lost anyone before, and to go from losing what he considers as his support network (even though he has Sirius and Lily, but his parents were the best and always gave him comfort when he didn’t know what to do in life) is a huge shock to his system. He keeps up a charade around Lily to try to show her that he’s managing but Lily doesn’t believe that. She finally tells James that he should talk to someone, even if he can’t talk to her about it. So a drunken James ends up behind Sirius’s doorstep and when he asks what’s wrong, James breaks down and starts to cry. It's okay. It’s Sirius. It’s home. Maybe James’s darker side comes up when they are fighting the Death Eaters. Sirius lets him have his ugly moments and they don’t tell Lily about how James tried to hit Bellatrix with the Cruciatus Curse (but missed) one day after she taunted him how mummy and daddy Potter are not around anymore and maybe she could add Sirius to that list of dead people, which was the final straw for James. Afterwards James who has always hated dark magic turns to Sirius and says, ”I understand now the temptation to use these spells.” And Sirius doesn’t judge him. He’s always known what James only now came to realise after having gone through such heavy grief that it’s not all black and white. As James comes face to face with this new side to himself, Lily is not happy because James is not there for her in a way he should be. This eventually leads to James and Lily realising they’re not made for each other and James and Sirius getting all tangled up in what has always been a strangely intimate friendship but is turning into something more.

Parallel universes. James goes to sleep next to Lily after they just put their toddler Harry to bed, but in the morning James wakes up in a universe where he is in a relationship with Sirius. He finds out that he and Lily broke up at the end of seventh year, James went travelling with Sirius and they realised they have feelings for each other. In the original universe, another James wakes up thinking he’s with Sirius but is shocked to realise he got married to Lily and they have a son. The Jameses that have swapped their universes figure out they can talk to each other in dreams so they try to to find a way to go back to their own lives while not making a mess of things in the other universe. This swap makes James from original universe question his decisions in life, because he could have had an amazing life with Sirius as his boyfriend – something James never dared to admit to himself. And the other James is amazed to see what family life could be like and getting to spend time with Harry makes it all the more complicated because he quickly starts to adore his son. Both versions of James need to figure out what they really want in life.

What I’d like to write: The same as I’d like to read but I have no time to start any new stories. I’m already struggling with too many WIPs.

#prongsfootweek2023 #prongsfoot #bambibelle #james potter #sirius black #if anyone is inspired to write either prompt please feel free #also i hope the first idea isn’t just me thinking of a fanfic already written #though if it is send link please

[chaoscrotchdemon]

Fuck you. A letter to my parents.

Why was I the problem? Why was I lesser than second best to you? Why was my little brother treated better than I ever was? What was the reason? Was it me being a girl? Cursed from the first breath to be second place in everything I have done, or will ever do. Would it have really been that hard to treat me as an equal? You of all people should know that favoritism can leave permanent damage, but - oh. Right. You don’t care. You never did. Because my little was your special little boy, who deserved to be put on a pedestal and treated like royalty. But he turned into a flaming dick because of it. Why was I treated like a servant for most of my life, while he got to do fuck all? Why did he get all the expensive gifts that were supposed to ‘be for both of us’? Because - and you’ve known about it - I never got to use any of it. Ever. Why was he allowed to go to friends houses when I couldn’t? Why was he allowed to go and work for Randy when I couldn’t even get my damn permit? But he got to make money, and he got to keep that money. You never made him pay for gas, or groceries, or snacks that weren’t for him. Why did I have to use my money from the only job I ever got to do all of that? And yet he got himself a VR headset, and this-that-and-the-other, and you never said a word to him about ’fiscal responsibility’, but I had to make sure to put my money away and save as much as possible. He made upwards of $300 (three-hundred dollars) every time Randy had a job. I mean him no disrespect, this isn’t about Uncle Randy. I just want to know why I get treated worse than dog shit, but he gets to do whatever he wants. You couldn’t even keep him grounded for more than two (2) weeks after he set off a smoke bomb on a school bus, but I get grounded for a year straight because I was talking to people you didn’t want me to, even though I had every right to do so. And —guess what— I’m better off now than I ever was. I don’t have to worry about what I did wrong, and be scared about forgetting things and being yelled at. I don’t have to come home with my stomach in knots, or feeling like I’m going to throw up because of something I either didn’t do because I didn’t know I had to, or something I did wrong that I didn’t know I did wrong. You never let me explain, and you spoke to me like I was some stupid toddler instead of having an adult conversation. And you wanna know why I think that is? I think it’s because of the fact that I don’t have a dick to measure, and that means that I’m mentally and physically inferior to you, and to Tucker. That I’m only worth what work I can do, and because I apparently couldn’t do any of that right, I’m not worth the time of day. I’m not good enough for you. How could I have ever been good enough when you both set the bar so high I could never even hope -let alone dream- of ever even coming close. And I get it, kind of. It’s just your sick, twisted way of showing that you care. But did you ever pause to consider how your words and your actions affected me? How what you did would make me feel? And let me tell you, I felt like shit. Worthless. Because how could some stupid child like me be anything close to your expectations? No need to answer that, I already know. I never could. And I think, in some small part of you, you enjoyed watching me suffer. Because now, someone else could finally understand how you feel. Yet, you never once asked me ‘how are you?’ sincerely. Never once asked how I felt about anything if it didn’t benefit you, or whatever project you had going on. Because, in the grand scheme of things, my feelings never mattered. I was some stupid kid, my feelings didn’t matter. I figured that out real quick, whenever you yelled at me for something small until I cried, and still didn’t stop. Whenever you thought I did something, and interrogated me about it until I fessed up, whether I actually did whatever it was or not. And then, you got even madder when you found out I didn’t do anything wrong, and I still got punished for lying.

#bad parenting #childhood #trauma #emotions

[olderthannetfic]

I mean i can try-- god knows I've wondered which fucking wires crossed in my brain many many times myself-- but i can't promise I'll come to anh interesting conclusions.

I honestly think I had some kind of predisposition to like vore because i can't remember a time where I started liking it, only realizing that I did, long long LONG before i had any concept of what that meant. For me, personally, the vore part is a big part but it all very much falls under the endosoma umbrella-- the general fascination with the inside of the body, and implied fascination with being inside the body of someone else.

I kinda think that stems at least to some degree from my craving for physical affection? Big big big on physical touch, me; and my mother joked that when I was a toddler I would burrow into a hug as if I were trying to crawl inside the person holding me. It tracks.

So I was all of 5 or whatever and already deeply clingy and showing the beginning signs of an anxiety disorder. And then I got to see the magic school bus for lunch fir the first time and Huh why are fireworks going off behind my eyes

Istg I watched that movie so much as I kid it was absurd. I couldn't explain why it stuck to me so much, I didn't have the vocabulary or the comprehension, I was just Fascinated. I would dream of different scenarios that could have changed the direction the movie went, I dove face first into researching the human digestive system because maybe that's what I was so curious about and i was homeschooled so it was as simple as asking my mom what they were talking about. My sister, rwo years younger than me, had started a 'game' around that time that was essentially stories around the campfire where one of us would come up with an idea and the other would continue it and we'd tell stories that way-- and we had I think three of those that were various characters from our favorite movies eating each other. We still didn't know what we were doing, of course; it was just hilarious to us. Very 'throw blorbo in a situation' behavior, especially because neither of us had any interest in the fatal aspect-- i can't really speak for her, but for me, it was always about being inside another person. Being cradled. Being contained. Being protected.

The budding anxiety disorder definitely had an effect, and only got stronger as ~shit happened~ and a budding anxiety disorder blossomed into c-ptsd 🙃 I spent most of my childhood feeling utterly and completely unsafe, insecure in the most fundamental ways. And the idea of being eaten and held and hidden appealed r e a l l y powerfully.

An interesting angle to pin on this is I'm some level of demisexual-- and vore wasn't a very kinky kink for me for a long long time. It's much more so now, now that I'm older and a bit more in touch with my own brand of sensuality/sexuality, but I would have considered it a platonic-to-sex-neutral kink by name only from about the time of the epiphany to around... eh. 20ish? Maybe as late as 21, 22 even. And even now it is Still much more about the feeling of protection, of safety, of being wanted and held and cradled and intimately known that appeals the most to me. If i want to get off to it I look up object vore fics and videos of people swallowing real-ass things, vasefillers and marbles and cameras, because I still very much have an Endosoma Thing and a fierce oral fixation. But Vore vore? That's mostly a self comforting thing. Not always. I can definitely be turned on by a good vore fic and I am frequently turned on by good vore videos because the visual of internals is Big for me, but its usually a sexless thing? Usually. There are exceptions.

If it's a character I'm already attracted to that's it I'm a goner and I would like them to hurry the fuck up and eat me already. I'm very strongly 'prey-oriented' and would much prefer to Be Eaten than to Eat-- but I could go either way, depending. I'll run into a bit of art of a character inside a cup of boba (totally not referencing something that happened the other day aha) that the artist clearly meant innocently and lose my shit on discord to the fistful of friends who know the intricacies of my crossed wires fjdjdkdk the vore fixation and the oral fixation absolutely 100% bounce off each other and make each other worse, I can tell you that much.

Does any of that answer your questions, fellow anon?

(I wish I could send asks from the sideblog, I genuinely wouldn't mind attaching at least that name to this in the name of research and answering questions-- it's science if you write it down, no? But my main is mostly sfw, alas.)

--

[piqued-curiosity]

Honestly i slightly start to think that lot of non gay “queer peoples” homophobia comes from not having all attraction you ever showed or known being treated as an offense. Like gay people don’t have “queerness”… their baseline attraction is same sex. And that means that unless you are lucky most your first crushes are not only unrequited but actively being seen as “a threat”. Meanwhile if you like the other sex your rejection is treated differently like of course there are exceptions but in general a rejection is something more sympathetic “oh he’s just mean you deserve better” not the implications of “how dare you sexualize a girl who sees you as a friend”. So gay people carry rejection and preferences as something expected in a different way people who don’t exclusively have that experience to. Like if all your attraction has an higher chance to rejection you internalize that a bit more in regular life. Again not to generalize and there are enough bisexual people who do had a first same sex crush or are febfems but like, I don’t know the way I sometimes feel people talk about rejection from gay people especially just feels like… yeah as gay person that’s part of the deal. Meanwhile all “gay” trans people and bisexuals do know that a bigger dating pool is available in their references of life so if you fail while genuinely trying and having a connection at first it’s deeply “unfair”.

Like especially “gay” trans people have this weird mix of at once knowing they have made their datingpool smaller and yet assume that because gay and lesbian people promoted all “LOVE IS LOVE INCLUSION FOR ALL” they just join the “weird people group that will date me as they praise acceptance” with a tiny bit of not realizing that if you were bad at dating before you now thrown yourself in a smaller dating pool full of flawed individuals compared to the heterosexual bigger dating pool of flawed people. Like we are all also just humans who just happen to be gay. Sorry I’m rambling but I’ve been thinking about this a lot and while it’s true that talking to people who are same sex attracted we aren’t as split and just all people with one thing in common, some “online discourse” does make me think there are differences in experiences.

I definitely think you’re onto something!

All OSA people, straight people in particular, grow up having their OSA encouraged. We’re talking from day one with toddlers being called a ladies man, or asking a little girl if she has a boyfriend. All the media they grow up with spotlights straight couples. And most kids aren’t going to even have a gay couple in their family so there’s virtually no exposure for a lot of us. So already, you have the difference of OSA people seeing people like them everywhere celebrating their attraction, and SSA not getting that or even getting the opposite (active hostility towards SSA), right from childhood. That means that navigating OSA in teen years will be easier and celebrated, while navigating SSA will be new, scary, and discouraged. Like you said, a same sex crush is considered predatory and threatening. So SSA people, especially gay people since SSA is all we can experience, learn to hold back and to accept that love isn’t a guarantee to us. OSA people, especially straight people since OSA is all they can experience, learn that there’s plenty of fish in the sea and it’s completely fine to pursue any of them.

In short, you’re absolutely right to say that gay people in particular learn that rejection is going to be common, and that it might even be hostile. I’m sure this is why you notice with homosexual TQ+ people, they aren’t as invasive and demanding as OSA ones are. When was the last time you saw a “straight man” TIF demanding that women fuck her or they’re evil transphobes? Probably close to never, or at least not often, because she’d have been raised a lesbian, meaning she learned early on that even asking a girl out could be considered predatory, never mind demanding she sleep with you (which obviously is predatory). On the flip side, when was the last time you saw a “gay man” TIF demanding that men fuck her or they’re evil transphobes? Probably in the last couple days. Because she’d have been raised a straight girl, meaning she learned early on that she’s entitled to an opposite sex partner as it’s just part of life. And I’d say all of this applies to bi people in the same way, because you rarely see them making “get over your genital preference” demands to the same sex…it’s usually just the opposite sex.

As I said, I think you’re right! There’s absolutely a certain entitlement I notice from “queers” regarding the opposite sex that I don’t notice SSA people having towards the same sex. Just look at the entire genital preference/cotton ceiling/boxer ceiling debate, it’s basically just trying to shame gay people for not being OSA. It’s hardly ever directed at straight people. It only makes sense to me that it would come from how we’re raised to approach OSA and SSA and how these attitudes are internalised. Thank you for sending me your thoughts! 💕

#asks #anon

[mirconreadzztuff22]

PLEAAASE tell me about rosalina IM BEGGING YOUUUUUU whats her job?? howd she die??? DETAILS. DETAILS PLEASE.

OMG I, SO GLAD YOU ASKED TEEHEE 😇😇😇😇😇

This is gonna be me bouncing off walls and babbling like a toddler but bare with me

Okay, so,

Rosalina; Also known as Thorns (just like how Alastor is called the Radio demon), she is a Succubus Dragon. She is an ‘overlord’, and she pretty much takes over for Asmodeus whenever he’s too busy (I have a little thing where most of the succubus employees that he has were originally hers), BUT ANYWAY,

Im still working on it but pretty much Rosalina is a mythical creature, like Jeopard (and the five others I’m working on), but over the years, sinners and others began to question and outcast the creatures, so they got dumbed down to the Overlords.

And Rosalina is a hellborn, so she didn’t die 🥳🥳 (lucky for her woohoo), BUTTT if she WAS a sinner, she would have died from lung cancer, as it resembles in the cloud patterns in her skin (mainly in her dragon form and tail).

Speaking of the patterns, those patterns represent one of her abilities, which is pretty much a hypnotic smoke (similar to Valentino, I know, sue me 😞) and it causes others who inhale it (even herself, because we love a Queen who gets affected by her own shit 💀) either horny, drowsy or all of the above though it depends on her mood and what she wants to use it for.

Now, this is mainly gonna be about her personality, but outside of the fact shes an evil, horny attention whore, she’s actually pretty rational and neat. Rosalina is quick, observant and stands her ground when she needs to. Speaking of observation (random switch, I just wanted to get this out of the way); Due to this fact, she can tell if someone is uncomfortable or feeling unsafe. She’s flirting with someone and they show any sign of discomfort? She immediately stops and apologizes, going back to making harmless jokes. Someone else being a creep? She’s already sending a buff ass incubi guard to handle the situation discreetly.

Also, she’s rich, duh, she isn’t shy about it either (but she doesn’t brag, she just uses her money 💀)

(Short but whatever) As for how her relationship with Velvette started: Rosalina was taking a vacation and decided to go into the pride ring just for shiggles and what do you know? Velvette caught the succubi’s eye (and puss okay imma stop)

But with her relationships with the other Myths is kinda obvious, like Jeopard. She constantly shit-talks Jeopard, she’s okay with Minataur and Erwin, she’s not a huge fan of Kabra and Raz due to their greediness and Rosalina feels like she’s on a watch list when it comes to Andrea.

Like Jeopard, Rosalina is also bilingual. (She’s fluent in Spanish and English :3)

Overall, she’s a queen and we love her (might talk about her relationship with Jeopard later, idk, only if people want BAHSBS)

___

Masterlist for the others <33: here

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin velvette #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin hotel ocs #oc x canon #Rosalina blurbs #the seven myths #mythical creatures

[meikostan]

OK finally watching oshi no ko anime, it turns out all i needed was to go outside for like an hour and im normal again

my thoughts under the cut (writing as i watch) (long) (lots of thoughts) (beautiful and true?) (manga reader) (don't read if anime only) (spoilers) (seriously) (i talk alot) (lots of thoughts)

at this point i've reread oshi no ko enough times that even if i didnt already know japanese i could probably make it without the subs SDJLF but its so cool to see lines and panels that im so familiar with brought to life!! i also liked goro's death scene, especially the way they used static and cut between shots. i keep on pulling out my physical copies of onk (well mostly vol 1) and pointing at my screen and the corresponding part of the book like

2. AIIIII little known fact about me is that ai is genuinely my favorite character... WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE SHE DIES IN THE FIRST VOLUME. seriously we only ever get to see her after this when a. her name or demeanor is invoked by another character b. aqua has his numerous mental breakdowns or c. flashbacks (including but not limited to aqua's mental breakdowns). i am always down for ai content!!!

3. its so much easier to ignore the weird vaguely sexual stuff from their babyhood because i know the rest of the series is normal and cool and not into that sort of stuff👍

4. speaking of normal yayayay it's aqua back when he was actually normal and not "normal" :D like he is just a baby. do you think now that oshi no ko is popular people will get into internet arguments about whether you can ethically have aqua as your favorite character post-normalification. actually wait this may already have been happening in the dark depths of some discord server out there.. but i dont use discord so im blissfully unaware

5. OH i dont think ive seen all of the OG b komachi before? or at least not in high detail. epic!

6. infant ruby telling people on the internet "kys" before age 2... truly a model twitter user

7. not gonna lie i havent really ever liked the way babies are drawn here (including manga)... idk their heads just look way too big like adult heads drawn on toddler bodies then ""cutified"". but this is a personal gripe

8. do you think because of infantile amnesia the twins forgot about the whole pretending to be amaterasu moment. do you think miyako still remembers. can you imagine being the foster mother of two kids who you believe to be gods sent to earth. do you think she remembers that she was "charged by the gods with keeping ai's secret" and then aqua. you know.

9. imagine: you married the ceo of a mid production company because you want to date hot men. there are no hot men in sight. you have to watch over one of the idol's twin infant babies. they reveal to you that they are divine messengers of god and also they can speak normally. there are no hot men in sight. you tend to their every need because you don't want divine retribution. you explain the intricacies of the idol industry in detail every couple of days when they complain about the injustices of the world. there are no hot men in sight. you become their foster mom after they witness the traumatic death of their mother, whose secrets you where charged with keeping safe. at least 12 years pass. they never mention any of this again. you manage the idol group one of them is in. there are still no hot men in sight. your name is miyako. every day you wake up.

10. i like how gotanda gives his business card to a toddler. whats he gonna do, call you on his fisher price dial phone? well actually nevermind aqua is probably the only other toddler (alongside ruby) who could make use of a business card

11. KANAA LETS FUCKING GOOOOO but also nothing will ever top 'lick a lying snitch/flick a crying switch'...... nothing ever... :( also taking the opportunity now to say ive always found it hilarious she assumed 'aqua' is his stage name and not his actual legal name, that's how ridiculous it is DSKLFJ

12. sobbing at the ruby ai dance... dont even have that many words i just really like it.. do you guys think ai was thinking about her own mom [& abuse/lack of relationship thereof]? not even just in this scene but in her more serious moments when she's thinking about her kids it's like "i want to make millions so they can go to the nicest schools and have the nicest things" "i want my daughter to dance freely and happily and i will support her in this" which ig can also be excused as 'thats just what a normal parent wants' but idk i like taking into consideration her own past and lack of parental support when looking at the way she tries to raise her children (not that she exactly got a chance to, even while still alive)

13. also i realized at this point that ep 1 is like an hour long not just because of the whole 'we gotta make sure no one drops this before the reveal that shows what this story's actually gonna be about', but also because it would be kinda awkward to have cut any of these scenes out? or not like out completely but like from each other. like if we had ended ep 1 at for example where they do their silly baby dance and go twitter viral (chapter 5 aka the midpoint of vol 1). that wouldve been terrible. but we can't cut it any earlier, or any later. ai's death feels like the natural conclusion to this problem. also i can't really see much of the other sections being stretched out to fit a full episode length being done very well. having ep 1 be a full 90 minutes lets them be as long as they need to be, aka a 1:1 adaptation of the manga.

14. oh boy chapter 9 time

15. i don't have anything to say about ai's outlook that has not already been said but this is the scene that made her my favorite character. not being able to tell at what point your lies become reality.. not really knowing if you've ever loved or been loved truly because your entire concept of 'love' was based off insincerity necessary for survival.. and now not ever being given the chance to explore what 'real love' means to you. FUCK

16. aww i love all these little family moments they added! very cute ^_^

17. yayy go kids get traumatized ^_^ also for some reason i remember the stalker as having really light hair o-0 fascinating. i remembered his name though!! just like ai fr

18. speaking of hair i also did not realize saitou was blond i thought he had brown hair..

19. hey the bandana (? i forget the word) guy holding the ai fan sign during the news montage is from one of the intros to the vol 1 chapters where hes like 'oh yeah i wonder where those dancing babies are now'!

20. another part of that montage shows a house with a wii in it, which came out november 19 2006. characters are shown using twitter which started earlier that same year; it was a pretty popular website even in 2008, but the mobile app only became a thing in like 2010. i'm seeing a mix of flip phones and smart phones so this has gotta take place sometime around 2010. it's kinda difficult to tell exactly what age the twins are in the main story because like the first page of vol 2 has ruby listing her age as 14, but - and the proof is not at my finger tips rn - i swear to god they're like 16 at this point. i have legitimate reasons to believe this but i need to grab exact proof adding to that we also have 15 years of lies, which if im remembering right would be referring to the twins age? i was trying to logic out exactly what year oshi no ko takes place in even though i already know the answer is 'in the modern day' but anyway yeah i'll just finish my episode and move on

21. THE IPHONE RUBY IS HOLDNIG HAS A HEADPHONE JACK. i want so badly to say that's an iphone 4 but there's like a separation between that and the power button. i also dont have an iphone 4 with me so i cant check it irl :( but anyway the iphone 4 was released in 2010, meaning the evidence is piling up for this part of the story taking place some time around 2010. or maybe i'm looking too deeply into this and should go back to actually watching the episode.

22. this is reminding me i was gonna write a fic specifically about this time period where the twins go to therapy and have to adjust to life without ai, having miyako graduate from fake mom to actual mom, aqua faking being fully recovered from the incident so he'd be released from therapy (fic concept was inspired from him stating this in like vol 6), etc. i never did because i spent like 3 hours researching play therapy and never got anywhere with it.. but maybe...

23. THE KIDS HAVING TO WATCH HER FUNERAL THROUGH THE FUCKING CAR WINDOW... I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF

24. YESS AQUA NORMALIFICATION COMPLETE

25. AM I INSANE OR IS THAT AKANE? HER HAIR COLOR IS THE SAME BUT IT'S SO SHORT

26. MEM!!!!

27. AHHH POST CREDITS AI MAKING HER VIDEO FOR THE TWINS "i don't think i'll still be an idol by then" YEAH BUT AT WHAT COST 😭

FINAL THOUGHTS: i liked it alot ^_^ i dont really watch that much anime anymore (not that i watched an incredible amount before, but i am familiar with it) but i really liked this. i think they did a very good job of adapting the first volume! i know the rest of the episodes will be not-film length which does make me a bit sad because i think it would work out well, or at least not badly, if they were. it does also make me really excited for the future, seriously i will actually explode when i see the theater arc in full. cannot wait to see aqua mental breakdowns and ruby evil arc and and and and

the only thing i would've liked is if they could somehow have found a way to incorporate the pre-chapter intro scenes from the manga where they're talking about 15 years of lies, interviews with their pre-school teacher, etc. though both the pre-school teacher and the aforementioned bandana guy appear which may have been their way of doing it? like adding a fun detail for obsessives like myself to point at like 'my god it's those guys from exactly 2 panels in the manga'

tumblr ate my post and erased everything up to #2 while i was writing it and i was about to flip but it turns out that it automatically saves posts while youre writing them now and it was in my drafts safe and sound soooo crisis averted ^_^ anyway those were my thoughts on ep 1

#oshi no ko #animanga

[cleromancy]

I absolutely enjoyed reading your analysis and take on why people tend to put most of the blame on Tim rather than taking into account that other characters are just as culpable. You really help me understand why Jason stans might resent Tim for victim-blaming Jason more than the other characters (although it is still them showing their double-standard thought process at the end of the day). In truth, no one is innocent in the situation. Everyone is culpable to some degree for blaming a child for his own demise, and its frankly disgusting.

its one of those things thats really interesting both in universe and from a meta perspective bc. blaming jason for his own death when sheila sold him out to the joker who then murdered them both, which dc wrote/illustrated/published, which they decided to do because of the results a fricking READER POLL... its so silly lmao. and by making it jasons fault the blame doesnt rest with batman, for having a robin in the first place, or dc, for writing and publishing the story. absolutely fascinating tapestry of blame and fault here on all levels

i was thinking some more about it though and i do think its got some to do with tims personality and demeanor as well. hes a perfectionist and a control freak and there are times when he expresses that if someone cant hack it to tims (arbitrary) standards they shouldn't be doing it at all, that kind of thing. and this is something bruce and dick both do as well, bruce is pretty famous for it even, but they're also both like... i mean we already talked about bruce in the last ask but on top of that hes like. scary competent and intimidating. like. hes batman! and with dick, dick is the first robin, hes *the* nightwing, dick was canonically this keystone figure for the new earth dcu hero community... hes a big fucking deal yknow. in-universe people listen to them, and for good reason, and out of universe a lot of the time reading it its like. Well they'd know! and by contrast tim does not have that kind of authority he just acts like be does... like hes made a solid name for himself by the time the reboot hits but absolutely not on dick or bruces level. so when Tim says something about like you shouldn't be doing this you're going to get yourself killed its like. who is this squeaky little toddler and why is he telling me what to do. like its like "who died and made you robin" except the answer to that is uh. Jason todd.

anyway yeah i like to rotate this as an aspect of characterization for everyone involved bc in like. the version that lives in my head the narrative doesnt present them as Right so it becomes *about* the tragedy, *about* grief and the way sometimes a story gets warped in retelling, about coping by putting sense in something senseless... but. it gets a lot less fun when youre reading something and the story itself is like "Yes this 14 or 15 year old only died bc he broke the rules he got what was coming to him & he deserved it :)" loud booing i dont care for that at all.

dick is also interesting bc hes the only character i can think of other than leslie who blames bruce at any point for jasons death, which i neglected to mention in my other ask. (its kind of a big topic and in my defense you were just askinf about bruce Alfred and tim... sorry dickie ily) like dick took more work to convince that a new robin was necessary than bruce did and dick like... dick was so angry and heartsick and guilty over jasons death and all those feelings just went *everywhere* including at himself. so its absolutely a lot more palatable coming from dick and-- i mean i mentioned demeanor earlier. tim tends to be either very blunt or very sharp and he is NOT known for phrasing things diplomatically, like, at all. dick might be thinking about the mistakes he imagines Jason making on the road to his death but what he'll say out loud is usually smth like "he wasn't ready," and its also a lot more palatable coming from dick bc you *know* hes also thinking he himself Should Have trained jason more himself or done this or that other thing.

dickies so so so good hes doing his best. i love him so much. what were we talking about

#send tweet. #dc #jaytim tag #i need some kind of tag for like. #rambles #.....