#i already redid them like 24 times

[audreart]

[image deleted. see most recent post]

#not vibing with dippers eyes but oh welllll #i already redid them like 24 times #bills hot tho #human bill cipher #billdip #dicipher #bill x dipper #dipper x bill #audreart

[drmslastmorning]

Sixteenth Day Event Prompt:

Dream breaks Technoblade's trust in prison

A lesson on trust.

Characters: Dream, Technoblade

Words: 5.2k (one-shot)

Warnings: panic attacks, canon typical violence. nothing big.

During Technoblades stay in the prison, Dream gets a little desperate to prove that he is not to be trusted.

Being with Technoblade has lifted Dream’s spirits. It's lifted them a bit much for his taste, honestly. Considering everything the other has done has been quite simple: Exist, take up already sparse food, talk far too much bullshit and annoy the hell out of him. He's not a fan of how easily the piglin hybrid can read him.

Technoblade’s involvement itself is calculated: it's within the plan, it's accounted for. He hasn't accounted for the way he'd make him smile, and distract him from the hell that is the prison.

That shouldn't be a problem in and of itself, Dream measures. He can stay focused regardless.

He doesn't know if the company is within the plan. Of course, Technoblade would've been involved eventually: For the exchange of a favor. But he's been here for a few weeks now. At least, that's what Dream presumes from what little sense of time he's gotten left. He couldn't know for sure and the realization that he couldn't tell leaves his tail swaying nervously. It's somehow easier to sit with your thoughts on your own. Correction: it's easier to ignore them on your own. It's easier to dissociate when someone isn't constantly chatting or snoring your ear off.

Dream doesn't sleep. Technoblade does it far too much. He guesses it's how the other planned on passing the time, and it's not really a bad bet. It's not like there is much else to do. It gives Dream something to do: Study everything there is about Technoblade. Not really intentionally, of course. He's not intending to stare, but could you blame him, when he's the only positive interaction he's had in so long?

The piglin hybrid sleeps messily. Loudly . He eats a lot, and he knows just how to get on his nerves. Though, he guesses he was already well aware of the last two. They've shared a few meals and more arguments.

Dream's passed out only very few times in the time Technoblade has been here, to the point the latter is unsure he's seen it at all. He prefers it that way.

"What are you, anyways?" Rings the question and Dream knows the other didn't miss the way he flinches at the sudden sound. "W-what's that supposed to mean." He says it like a dismissive statement, much less like a question. It's clear he understood exactly what Technoblade means, but doesn't intend to respond unless further clarified. He knows he doesn't pry. "Y'know." Pink hair messily falls over his shoulder. He undid the braid a while ago, and redid it at least 20 times since then.

Dream does know. The pen slips out of his fingers and he curses under his breath as it draws a messy line across the paper, him desperately reaching for it not helping.

"I don't," he lies, "you're distracting me."

Technoblade raises an eyebrow, toys with a potato that he's sure is going to start growing mold within the next 24 hours. "Species-wise, of course." While Dream's gotten a very good look of the other, the piglin hybrid has been kept very.. in the dark, to say the least. Dream makes sure to hide his face, and Techno hasn't attempted to catch a glance whenever he was distracted enough. He'd feel like he's intruding, if he did. Surely there's a reason he always wore that mask, after all. It's rude, he's concluded. "You haven't really let me catch a glance."

"What's it matter to you?" He mumbles, retrieving the pen and annoyedly smudging at the ink that's now splotched all over the paper. Smudging it more isn't really helping, weirdly enough.

"It's something to talk about, Dream." 

"I don't feel like talking."

"I know. You never do. It's kinda your thing." He snorts.

"That's-- that's not true. You know that's not true. I just- You already made me ruin this whole page."

"Put that thing down for 5 minutes, Dream. I'm pretty sure we've got plenty of time for you to finish that."

It looks like he's right, but somehow, sometimes Dream fears, he might blink, and Technoblade might disappear into thin air. 

"Fine." Dream hisses through gritted teeth, closing the book to set it aside. He leaves the pen amidst the pages to keep note of where he was. "Your tail reminds me of Ranboo’s." Techno remarks, and as if on command, it whips against cold obsidian and then curls up to hide behind his back. "What- are you just going to- analyze things about me?"

"Well, you're not telling me."

"That's still, like, weird." Dream argues, shaking his head. Something about it makes him really uncomfortable. Something about it is something he didn't account for and it makes him nervous.

"Man, you've been eyeing me up and down the entire time and I can't even catch a quick glance." He snickers at the immediate physical rise he gets out of Dream. 

" WHAT?? " Oh, that blush is obvious. "I've- You're an idiot, I've literally-" Dream stumbles over his words, messy locks not disguising enough of his face to hide his expression. 

"You're- You're stupid. You're just- you're just saying things. That's not even true!" 

"I don't know bro, for an innocent man you're getting real defensive."

"I'm not-- That's not-- I literally have not been doing that." Defeatedly, Dream taps his foot against the obsidian, knees dragged to his chest.

"Uh-huh." Technoblade nods, beginning to redo his braid for the third time that day. 

"Fuck yourself, seriously, Techno. I don't even know where- where you got that from."

"Maybe from the guy who's been eyeing me up and down."

" I HAVE NOT??? " (Dream’s heart beats in his ears and it tastes bitter and it's uncalculated and it makes no sense and he has to remind himself to breathe.) And it beats. And it beats. And it beats.

"So, what are you?"

"You're not going to let me live that down, are you?" Dream responds, annoyed. "I'm curious and bored." Technoblade answers, too honestly. Too honestly for Dream’s taste. Dream hasn't planned for this. Dream doesn't like the way he sees through him. "The answer- the answer is going to disappoint you, then." He gnaws on his lip for a moment. "Because I don't- I don't actually know ."

Techno raises an eyebrow curiously. He snorts. "You seriously don't, huh?"

"Yeah- uh- why the hell- why would I lie about that?"

"Uh, I mean, you've got the same tail as Ranboo." Techno deduces. "And he's an Enderman. I think?" He shakes his head. "But you're also not really letting me see anything else."

"You're being weird." Dream pushes, hiding his face in his knees.

"Not any weirder than you."

"Can I see your face?" Techno asks, and is surprised by his own question.

"What???" Dream returns, almost instinctively letting more hair fall into his face. 

"Your face." He presses, shifting with his coat. "I wanna see your face. It's been so long since I last did."

"Why?"

"Curiosity." Technoblade shrugs, feigning disinterest. Maybe he's just curious. Maybe there's more to it. Dream hates the way he can't tell and he hates the way it makes his heart beat and he hates the way he squirms uncomfortably and he hates the way the proposed intimacy makes him feel and he hates it.

Dream catches his heart in his throat and chokes it with both of his hands.

"No." He responds, met by a dejected, "awwwh", from the piglin hybrid. "Just a quick glance."

"No." He repeats, with more tone in his voice.

"Just a quick one."

"I said no." Dream cringes, crossing his arms. "It's not like I've never seen it before." Techno shrugs.

"Be satisfied with that, then."

"What's the big deal?"

"We're not friends, Techno." His tone of voice seems insincere, but he wants it to be true. They aren't friends. This is purely transactional. Technoblade is here to rescue him on account of a favor. Something is going wrong with whatever he's got planned and now he's trapped here for the time being. It doesn't mean anything. 

"Ow." Technoblade shuffles, moves as if something stabbed him. It's dramatics, Dream reminds himself. He's being dramatic. "First off, that hurts." It doesn't, Dream reminds himself. It's theatrics. It's to pass the time, it's to make him feel secure, it's to fool him, it's to- he doesn't know. Make him forget the plan?

"Second off, it's rude. I thought we've been having a real bonding moment here." Technoblade doesn't mean that, Dream reminds himself. "Well- boohoo." He fiddles with his fingers, with the book in his hands. "We're not friends." He has to emphasize that. (lest he forgets. lest he forgets that that too, is part of the plan.)

"I thought we were." Techno reiterates. "I mean, you've been watching me sleep. Would be real weird if we weren't friends."

"Oh my God, Technoblade. I have not-" He cuts himself off, rolling his eyes. He gives up. It's obvious he's just trying to get a rise out of him. He doesn't understand the point. It's distracting. It's going off the plan. It defies everything Dream did this for. He feels dizzy.

"C'mon Dream, I know you're still grumpy I keep calling you homeless, but I'd say we're friends."

"I'm not- I'm not homeless." (you're the one who kept not believing me I've got a big house filled with Redstone.) The thought makes him laugh bitterly.

Techno raises an eyebrow at the clear silent conversation Dream just had in his head. Some voices tell him something, but they sound drowned. The lack of food is beginning to mess with him bad, Techno eats a lot normally, so while he's not opposed to the potato diet itself, he's really been trying to cut down. If not only to not take away the little food Dream has.

Techno really doesn't like the way Sam clearly doesn't mind feeding him as much - considering he literally even gave him cooked potatoes when he asked for it. (it's all to starve Dream.)

"I know, I know. We're roommates right now, remember?" He snorts, which leads into an amused grunt, then translates into him holding out a baked potato in Dreams direction. "You want some?"

"... What."

"It's baked. Should be better than uh, y’know, the ones you've been chowing down." He gestures at Dream’s stack, which is honestly beginning to show mold.

"Why- how is it- where did you-" Dream stumbles and he looks so extremely bewildered Techno can't help but sneak a little fond smile. (Dream doesn't recognize it as such. His gasping heart categorizes it as him making fun of him.)

"I asked and Sam gave them to me. Under the condition I don't give you any."

Dream frowns. Deeply. He shakes his head. "Under the condition you don't give me any." He repeats, in a tone that makes Techno sick. Wipes the smile off his face and replaces it with a frown. "Hey man, it's not like Sam's gonna know."

"He'll know ." Dream reiterates, shaking his head. He feels sick. Sick. Sick. Resisting everything in himself to not knock it out of Techno’s hand.

"I mean, I'm not telling him. Are you?"

"If- if he asks , if I-if." He stutters over his words, he despises the frown on Techno’s lips. He's not disobeying Sam for some stupid- some potatoes. He could handle himself. The clear favoritism gets to his head, and he needs to turn away so he doesn't just grab the potato and throw it into the lava. Or better yet, he's throwing himself in it next.

Techno sighs. "Alright, man. Just thought I'd offer." He rolls his shoulders, then wordlessly eats it. He's honestly worried Dream might just starve to death one of these days. He certainly doesn't look good.

Dream’s heart beats in his ears. He wishes he could bang his head against the wall until he made a big enough hole for it to escape. Wishes he could reach through his own mouth and pull it up by its bits and pieces and squeeze it until there is finally no feeling left.

In the end he does none of that. In the end he frowns at Techno and doesn't say anything else. In the end he reaches his hands into his hair and tugs until he feels a few strands coming loose. 

"You're- driving me crazy." He hisses. And it's unreasonable. And it's a weird mood swing from the Dream who was just confused then horrified and is now- maybe jealous isn't the right word, but he doesn't find any better ones to describe what he is feeling. Speaking of feeling, he hates the way his heart jumps in his mouth when Techno looks at him with that stupid snort. That stupid big nose ring, and those stupid big ears, and those stupid big tusks that hang upwards out of his mouth and-

Breathe. Breathe. "Man, I'm just being friendly." Techno says and it snaps a cord. "You're not! Friendly. You're A- annoying , you're, you're taking up already sparse food, you're, you're clearly being favorited by- mi- by the wa- by Sam -" He tugs and he tugs and he tugs and maybe this way he can get rid of this stupid long hair. "All this has achieved is- you're just stuck here now, too . Why the hell didn't you realize it was a trap? I didn't want you to get involved! You have- you- aaaaah!" He groans, frustrated, tired, exhausted, hungry, and for the first time in the while he's been stuck here he seriously wishes he had died already.

It's stupid. It's such a stupid thing to want to give up over. (was any of it even worth it? was any of it even worth it? was any of it even worth it? was any of it even worth it.) He thinks he hears Techno say something but it's dampened by the dread that's surrounding him. Maybe he's having a panic attack. Maybe he's having two. Maybe three. four five six seven eight-- he's been doing so well holding himself together but now he's crashing he's falling apart he's grasping at the pieces of a knocked over 3D puzzle and it does little to put it back together.

He's been doing so well smiling and talking with Technoblade whenever Quackity wasn't here he's been doing so well and he's been doing too well and it's exactly why he's tripping all over himself and falling and falling and falling --

It's a harrowing realization. That scaling any mountain is going to involve so much tripping and falling in the future. And it's more harrowing to him that he's decided to do it all alone. It's better that way, he tells himself, but for a moment, Dream would rather be dead than alone.

Maybe, if he gave up, while Technoblade, while Quackity- while it's- while he's not- while- while there's someone there- while he's not alone- while- if he gave up now, at least someone would be by his side while he did-

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. In, and out, and Dream hears a voice, guiding him, and he's breathing.

Breathe. Breathe. He closes his eyes. It's dark, and it's orange from the light of the lava and he's just barely catching himself. 

When he opens his eyes again, he can breathe again. He sees pink strands and his first instinct is to--

He reaches out and tugs on Technoblade’s already messy enough braid. "Ow! Is that the thanks I get????? Ow- ow- Dream that hurts-" And he tugs and he tugs and he tugs and it's enough Technoblade has to stop awkwardly hovering his big hands around Dream's and instead grab onto them, halting the other’s out-of-nowhere violence. " Good ." Dream hisses, and it's venomous, it's almost- uncharacteristic. Techno pulls his eyebrows together and frowns. "You good? You had a little- panic attack there. And now you're attacking me! Scandalous."

Momentarily, Dream is taken aback by the piglin hybrid’s antics. Only momentarily, because as soon as he manages to wipe the way his expression cringes at his own actions off his face, he's back to pulling his hands out of Technoblade’s, taking one, two, three, too many steps towards the lava and almost falling backwards into it. He stumbles, and has to catch himself on the side of the wall. The lava is sizzling so closely behind him he's unsure if some of his hair, or his clothes might already be catching fire. He nudges just a little bit away from it, although he really wishes he could just let himself fall backwards. 

He could, he reckons. No better time than now. No better time than when he's not alone with Sam and Quackity with the warden and sir with the violence and torture and-

His head spins. Technoblade says something again but hovers awkwardly out of his reach. Good. Good. This is better. That's how it's supposed to be. Transactional. As soon as they're out of here Technoblade will abandon him. That's how this was intended. He'll make himself heavy enough of a burden that even Techno will hesitate to dare put that strain on his back. That hesitation will be enough, he hopes. He is sure it will be enough. He closes his eyes, breathing. He should breathe, Technoblade is right. He opens his eyes again and his eyes search for Technoblade, who's looking at him with such a stupid expression of pity (and concern and worry and so many things Dream isn't sure he's identifying right and so many things that Dream hopes he is wrong about.).

Dream prays he is wrong about these things. Because God strike him down if he is right. God if he has to face that possibility.

He isn't sure how much time passes. He isn't sure how long they're just staring at each other. 

--

"You better now?", Technoblade says after a long silence, attempting to approach him. Very slowly. As if he's afraid Dream might just stumble backwards into the lava if he startles him like a scared deer. Bitterly, Dream laughs. "Yeah", he catches himself, "Sorry."

"Nah, it's okay. You have the strength of a toddler."

" WHAT??? " That gets to Dream’s head worse than Technoblade probably intends it to, when Dream stumbles over himself and almost catches fire on the lava. Techno snorts, lifting a hand to move it in a manner that's supposed to make him calm down but is only irritating him more. "You're- you're fucking insufferable, Technoblade ." Dream draws a breath through barely parted lips and for a moment he wants to cry. 

The piglin sighs. "You know, I've been really patient, but you're making me curious. What happened? Since when are you so-- dead set on pushing everyone away? I mean, I heard Punz betrayed you, which must've sucked- but, Dream, I clearly don't mean you any ha-"

"Fuck off, Technoblade."

"Eh?"

"Fuck off." He reiterates, and he is so, so close to ending it all he needs to remind himself that part of the plan is that he stays alive. Part of the plan is that his heart keeps beating. Maybe he can respawn at least though. It's bitter. He threw himself in that lava a lot when there was nothing to do and the pain of burning alive was, funnily enough, the only thing keeping him sane. "We're not friends. We're not roomies. We're not- You weren't supposed to be here. You're so fucking- stupid- walking into that obvious trap."

Technoblade's vision swims, before it refocuses on Dream and he raises an eyebrow. "Dream- You do know I knew that, right?"

"Right. Right. And that's why you haven't gotten out. That's why you're still stuck here with me annoying me and trying to get under my skin all the goddamn time-"

"Well, I mean, some things went wrong. I'll be out here in no time, though."

(I, I, I, I, I)

I, I, I, I, I

It echoes in Dream’s head. He stares. " We ?" He whispers, it's hopeful, it's meek, and it's such a sudden change from the way he was just yelling.

"Uh, yeah. We. You're getting out of here, Dream."

They exchange looks. Stares. He's too busy reading every pore on Technoblade’s face to be distracted by the fact that he's doing the same to him. He stares at Technoblade’s pink eyes as if they have the answer to every question he's ever had. He hears his heart beat again and has such a visceral reaction to it; he bites down on his lip, balling his fists.

"I don't believe that. I don't trust you for a second."

The piglin hybrid sighs, toying with his coat to his braid, undoing it, since Dream messed it up anyways. "Right. I'm really beginning to believe that." 

Dream thinks he hears sarcasm in that tone but he's not sure. He's not sure of any emotion he reads on Technoblade and it horrifies him. Quackity is so much easier to read: and Sam isn't too difficult to read too, he'd say. They're pretty similar, he'd concluded a while ago. 

Quackity wears his heart on his sleeve. Observing him is like you're reading a picture book. Whereas with Technoblade he isn't quite sure he's got a heart in the first place. He isn't sure what he thinks of that conclusion. He isn't sure it's logical. Maybe it makes no sense to interpret it that way, he can't justify dehumanizing Technoblade to himself, but neither can he the way he got addicted to burning in the lava.

"What exactly am I supposed to do to make you-- ' trust ' me?" The Blade speaks up and Dream continues watching him for another roughly 20 seconds, not breaking eye contact. He's finally noticed that he's also eyeing him over and it makes something akin to horror crawl down his back. It settles on his spine and whispers to him. He can't make out exactly what it's saying but he knows it's gripping at the edges of his heart. It's digging its nails in and the only reason it's yet to bleed is that they are still in. Like a stab wound, it'll bleed so much more once removed. But it's bleeding either way.

Either way leads to death.

"Want me to prove I trust you? Do a little trust-fall?"

Dream’s face cringes at the way Technoblade snorts. "I- what - no way- I don't trust you and even if you trusted me, there's no way I can- catch you- in my current state."

"I'm going to be honest, Dream, I don't think you would've been very capable of it previously, either."

"You're----- You're really trying to make me hate you." Dream mumbles, kicking the floor, in a similar fashion as to he would before, and Technoblade takes it as a positive sign. He smiles fondly and it irritates Dream to no end.

The piglin hybrid shrugs. "Eh, sure. I'm not sure I can convince you otherwise, anyways." 

Something stings but Dream can't identify it. Briefly, he wonders if the other feels something like that, too. Then he crosses that thought out, because he knows that the Blade doesn't own a heart that feels. 

His brain rationalizes the dehumanization in a desperate attempt to drown his own feelings. It's not rational and he knows this, but he's horrified that if he looks at Technoblade like he's a person for too long he might forget the plan.

He wants to choke himself out for going down this path alone. But it's the only way to keep them safe. (dehumanizing Technoblade isn't keeping him safe. it's the very thing that's ended him up in this position. the very reason he can't just sit in his cabin and rest. The very reason he's right here and associated with Dream is because they're the same, the same, the same .) 

Dream can't read Technoblade. But maybe he just doesn't want to. Maybe the other is written in a foreign language that Dream couldn't possibly have knowledge of in his young and naive years.

The admin sighs tiredly. 

"You can't. I don't trust you and it's not like you truly trust me either." Dream huffs a laugh. "You trust me to keep you alive. For my own gain." He gestures at the lava, then at Technoblade. "Since I'm not going anywhere without you. But maybe you will just leave without me."

Techno frowns. Even to Dream it's obvious this conversation is getting tiring. Maybe he's beginning to regret getting under his skin, maybe he's regretting constantly running his mouth, maybe he's considering just going to sleep for the rest of his stay here. Dream doesn't know because maybe after all this time, he's finally forgotten how to read. He isn't even sure he can read himself anymore. 

"I mean, yeah, maybe I will. You're not really making it enticing to take you along." Techno exhales heavily, running a hand through his hair. "I'd say you should know I wouldn't actually do any of that, but maybe I misread you."

None of that sounds like anything Technoblade would say. Good, Dream thinks, he's listening. He's not completely dense. He's not completely naive. Of course, the plan is still for the other to take him along. "W-well, you've got a favor to pay back. Technoblade pays back favors."

"Uh-huh."

"And that's all this is."

"Right."

Dream can't decode the bitter way Techno nods. He doesn't understand the way his throat slowly closes up and he feels like he's choking. He concludes it's been plugged by his heart again and he hates the very way the Blade puts even his organs in a disarray. It's irregular. Makes no sense.

"R-right." He repeats Technoblade’s word, glancing away. 

"Hey, you let me see your face."

"No I didn't."

"You did." 

"I didn't fucking allow you to." Dream crosses his arms, frowns. Techno shrugs, looking at Dream again. The other doesn't look away. "Yeah, but you're still letting me look."

It's not fair. It's not. It's not fair. He can't even rebuke that one. He's tired.

"You've got a lot of freckles." Techno muses, with such a stupid, stupid fond smile. (this isn't part of the plan. Isn't part of the plan.) "Your cheeks are- fuzzy." He snorts and Dream wants to deck him in the face. ( shut up. Shut up. Shut up .) "And your eyes rat you out."

Don't get him involved. Don't get him involved. Stick to the plan. Don't do that to him. Stick to the plan.

It's not worth it. If he changes the plan now- he can't. The plan has to be the way it is. Punz is bad enough. This is bad enough. Dream suddenly feels so powerless that it's crushing.

"And what stupid things do you think they're saying?"

"I don't know." Techno shrugs now, taking a step towards Dream. Cautiously, as if he fears he might startle him and send him into the lava. "Maybe they're desperate." He guesses, stops just out of Dream’s reach. Dream bites his lip bloody.

"Yeah. Desperate to get you to shut up. Get things under control and get us out of here." He grumbles, fists balling. (for a moment, he imagines himself reaching his hand into the lava, cupping it, and then throwing it at Technoblade. He wonders if his hand would last enough for that, or if the lava would burn through quicker. He wonders if that could kill him.)

He wonders how much of it would hit Techno, or if he'd dodge. If he'd call him insane, or if he'd be worried. If he'd be worried for his own safety, or Dream's, or both.

"I'm at it! I'm at it. Someone's really impatient." Techno lifts his hands defensively. "You're the one who designed this thing so- inescapable." Dream licks the blood off his lips, tail flicking behind him. "It'd kind of defeat the purpose if it wasn't." 

The piglin hybrid only nods. Dream only returns a nod. They're silent, observing each other as if they are reading a book.

Dream decides he needs to rip his pages out of Techno’s book. He takes a deep breath, looks directly at the other’s face. 

"Come over here." He croaks out, embarrassed, clears his throat after. "Come here." He repeats, clearer now.

For a moment, Dream hoped he'd see hesitation in Technos gaze. He sees something, Techno does need a second to listen, but he doesn't see hesitation. He doesn't know what he's seeing. (Worry? Care? Concern?) Concern, for his own or Dream’s or both of their safety.

Technoblade listens and everything in Dream’s body was hoping he wouldn't. He'd hoped he wouldn't. But now he's standing in front of him, left of him lava bubbles. It's hot and unbearable to him, but Dream knows it's like second nature to the piglin hybrid. 

"Do you trust me?" Dream asks, it's flat. The croak in his voice disappeared, it's just cold now. He can't read the expression on Technoblade’s face. He doesn't like the way he frowns. He doesn't like the way he has to break his neck to look him in the face when they are so close together. 

"What's this?"

"No, shut up, answer the question." Dream shakes his head when Techno tries to gain knowledge on his intent. That won't work. That won't work. He made a plan and he's sticking by it.

Techno sighs. Rolls his shoulders. Then nods. Smiles. "Yeah, well, I do."

(I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do. It repeats in Dream’s ears until it turns to venom until it takes over every part of his brain until he can't hear anything else until it tastes bitter and bile and he wishes he could throw up.)

Everything in Dream hoped he'd say no. Everything in Dream hoped he'd say no.

He doesn't breathe for a good minute. Then he holds out his hand. His hand, small, burned, injured. There's little cuts and scars everywhere. He still has all of his fingers, but he is afraid he won't soon enough. "Okay. If you take my hand and close your eyes, do you trust me to not hurt you?" He continues, and his heart deflates when Technoblade listens. He hoped he wouldn't.

He hoped he'd make a snarky comment and refuse. But he doesn't even give him a snarky comment. The piglin hybrid's hand almost completely engulfs his own and Dream feels so small and helpless and weak, all of a sudden. It's like Technoblade is unknowingly pulling the carpet out from under his feet. It's like the obsidian beneath him disappeared. (The hand-holding is weirdly comforting and suddenly Dream wants to abandon everything he thought of, everything he planned. if he could just fall forward and-)

He grips Technoblade’s hand. Harsh. He's not sure where he draws the strength from, considering he hasn't even eaten one potato today. And he isn't even sure he ate one yesterday. He squeezes it, and for a moment, it may come across comforting, or comfortable, or-

Then he violently tugs on the other’s hand. Then he draws both of them towards the lava. Then, suddenly, both of their hands are touching lava. (Dream's barely is. Technoblade’s hand engulfs his almost completely, but he's probably more fire resistant than he is. He braces himself, grits his teeth, burn, burn, burn, burn, everything in himself is screaming to take it all back, to reverse time, to-)

"Let this be a lesson not to, in the future."

#ask #sixteenth-day-event #crivals #rivalsduo #cdnb #cdreamnoblade #dreamnoblade #cdream #ctechno

[hikari-ni-naritai]

multiples of 3^^

oh god thats so many

3. Do you like to get 100% achievements?

if its something within reach yeah! i have a few games 100%ed. huniepop for one. its actually a dream of mine to one day 100% huniepop in a single run of the game. itd be hard but i believe in myself.

6. Last game you finished?

finished...... uhhh sakura shrine girls. if id beaten that last monster in monster hunter i couldve said that but i failed. oh well

9. A console and/or handheld you’ve never played but would like to try?

i think my cousin had a dreamcast and i was kind of fascinated by the weird controller shape. i dont think theres any games im specifically interested on it but i would like to mess around with one.

12. answered already!

15. answered already!

18. A game you’d like to replay that you haven’t

mmm are there any? ive replayed most of the games i enjoyed enough to play once. i want to finish my 2nd playthrough of ff14 though. im still in stormblood on that.

21. A boss you think is really cool

does rakna-kadaki von monsterhunterrise count. shes not really a boss unless you consider all monsterhunter monsters to be bosses. OH. OH RIGHT FUCK. hephaistos ff14. i love that fight. raid bosses count as bosses for sure. i just redid that one earlier tonight

24. A “Wow” moment of awe

i think the first time i really experienced something like this was the first time i played through twilight princess when you swordfight ganondorf at the end. it was like. such a wildly different experience from the standard like "swing your sword and you'll maybe clang against the enemy and not do damage" like it felt to child emily like a real proper swordfight. i thought it was really cool.

27. already answered!

30. Spyro or Crash Bandicoot?

crash bandicoot babeyyyyyyyyyyyyy there was this guy at my old church who was like a full ass middle aged adult and he was friends with my parents and we'd go over to visit sometimes and he'd let us go up into his weird attic where he just had a ps1 for some reason and me and my brother played crash bandicoot up there a lot. good times. it was a little hot in his house. he lived right on the street where they had community festivals every summer so it was nice to have a base to go back to when we got tired outside. his front lawn was small but it was good to lay in and watch fireworks from. real nice guy. im rambling. crash bandicoot rules

33. Someone has never played a video game before but is open to trying any genre. What game would you recommend as their first?

if im throwing my anxiety out the window, id probably recommend super mario bros the original. if youve never played a video game, it would be really hard to get recommended something with a complex control scheme or unintuitive menuing and shit. so something with just a few buttons and an easy-to-understand goal is probably good for a starting point. im sure theres a lot of platformers like that.

36. What platform do you play on?

pc but i have a lot of old nintendo consoles and a ps4. just in case. its hard to get the gumption for them tho

39. Do games need difficulty sliders?

i think difficulty options would be more doable. its important that games are accessible to people with disabilities that would prevent them from playing on whatever the base difficulty is.

42. Worst game you ever played?

im very easy to please. i remember being very disappointed by various kart racers in my youth though. at least, i played them once and did not play them again. there was an m&m branded kart racer for the wii, and also i found diddy kong racing for n64 to be too slow for my tastes. but also i was a child.

45. Favorite content creator?

settled, the runescape guy who made the morytania-locked ultimate iron man account. i just recently rewatched his 12-hour video compilation of that. i literally came close to crying a couple times. its good.

48. Most satisfying villain death?

i havent killed him yet but theres no way i wouldnt be satisfied with the death of that fucking bastard in tales of berseria. one day im going to kill him. fuck that guy. i would say asahi ff14 bc i hate him with the passion of 10,000 suns but his death was not satisfying. i would like to kill him over again.

51. How often do you skip cut scenes?

never unless ive seen it before. well, except the cutscenes in monster hunter rise for when u go on a hunt for a new monster. i sometimes skp those. but in most cases i wouldnt dare.

54. answered!

57. Ask anything you wish!

lena please u have to give me something for this one. its okay i will provide the question. "whats a game everyone should play no matter what even if they dont think its that good?"

play shining force

[the-narwhals-awaken]

yet another writing ask game

This is in response to @caffelattedellequattro 's writing ask, and once more i'm not bothering to wait for socialization and answering them myself!

I've done this before, actually, twice- kept the original work but redid them to better suit my skill style. One was one of my first works on the Archive, so I kept it for the feeling, and the other was a gift for a friend, so that had to stay as well. If the muse comes back, I might go back and edit/expand on my series of guides, but that entirely depends on me being in the right mood and having the time.

What I 'can't write but want to' entirely depends on my muse and motivation. I can cling to a project all I want, but I'll only get so much that flows before having to lose it because I lost motivation- usually, but not always, coinciding with a switch in what fandom I'm interested in reading right then.

I write very narratively- it's a weird thing, but I write like I'm telling the tale out loud, and there's a lot of introspection, then dialogue, and I'm prone to skipping over anything I don't want to tell and just mentioning that it happened. This happens a lot with action scenes.

My OC is technically a self-insert and I'd never actually write anything with her, but at the same time it's nice to get a handle on characters by running mini-scenes in my head where her interaction helps flesh them out.

9. Cliffhangers can be nice if used properly, and I'll admit I've used them regularly, but at the same time if you're not adding more in a timely fashion they can be annoying.

13. My worldbuilding skills I'd call a 7- it's nowhere near Tolkien, but I like to understand the world and how people interact within it before I start. Some stuff is contrived but honestly, even if it's contrived, I don't care, I did it for a reason and it makes everything else flow better.

16. One-shots are absolutely underrated! They can be wonderful- whether to break up tension or just to explore something that doesn't necessarily need to be a whole big thing. I'm not amazing about posting, but enough of my works are one-shots that I'm definitely for them.

17/18. Third person past. I can't do first, I'm never in my stories, and second person is really only good if you're doing a lot of character stuff- and it's a little weird because I already pick up enough stuff from what I read that the bleedthrough gets worse. And past tense just fits best with my whole 'storytelling' shtick.

20. Generally I'm only writing one thing at once, but I'll leave one thing undone to go work on something else for a while. I have enough WIPs to always be able to procrastinate on one by writing another, and there's no update schedule to 'make' me write.

23. Description. With dialogue, I either have such a clear picture of what's going on that it feels clunky, or I have no idea what they're doing and it feels too back-and-forthy. Plus I do too many three-or-more-person conversations for somebody who doesn't tag her dialogue that well.

24. Not in the main body of work. At the beginning or end of a chapter or work, perhaps, but unless it's incredibly plot-relevant it feels confusing. Flashbacks can be done well, but it's difficult. Flash-forwards are really only good for timeskips and to wrap up things.

25. I prefer to at least have a significant chunk written before I post or all of it done, as sometimes I edit big chunks, and if I stop because I ran out of inspiration, I'd rather not leave my readers hanging.

35. Writing challenges can be fun, but with my motivation, they're not for me. I recently started writing with the pageless function becuase the page lines were bugging me and it's actually nice- I can still get an idea of how long I've been writing, I somehow ended up with over 50 pages of fic on what I thought was a pretty short thing, but I'm not noticing the page breaks.

37. I research as I write or a little beforehand- sometimes just a quick Google to find a word I forgot, sometimes looking to see a community's experience, sometimes just poking around for a detail I'll use later.

38. 'This never happened' in terms of character actions or 'this happened but' in terms of scenarios. I'll adjust actions or motivations by changing backstory, but I like to keep canon event chains mostly happening unless it's stupid with what happened. My reasoning is I'm only changing some people, and they chose what they did in canon for a reason. People react differently, though, especially when warned or when they have time to grow, and that's fascinating to explore.

#ask game #writing ask game #asked and answered

[angellbarnes]

Forgotten Love - part one: a familiar face?

series summary: You’re new to the Avengers. In joining the team, there’s a lot that no one yet knows about you. And there’s some unusual tension between you and a certain brunet. Under a pseudonym and with completely fresh start, and background, you hope for a chance at a new life. A better life. But how long will it last before someone figures out the life you’ve hidden away?

chapter summary: It’s early days as the newest recruit. But that doesn’t mean it’ll come easy.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!reader 

words: 1k

warnings: nope. none.

A/N: Oh my goddd I’ve been gone for so long😬 I suddenly took a long Tumblr break because I had a lot on my plate and recently I’ve been on and off it a little more. But I’m back now (🤞🏼) and hopefully will be writing a lot more. And to me that also means a change of scenery sooo I redid my theme and I kinda love. Anyway this is part one of a new series I’m calling ‘Forgotten Love’. Please like, reblog and comment and let me know what you think!

series masterlist

Out of breath, you push past your tiredness as you throw punches into the bag, which is now taking as much of a hit as your mind has in the past 24 hours. A day. You’ve been an Avenger for a day and could never have anticipated how it was going to go.

With all your attention going into your punches, you hardly notice Bucky entering the gym.

“Never usually anyone in here this early.” His deep, calm voice somehow startles you from where you are lost deep in your thoughts. You abruptly stop and hold the bag still, turning to where he was setting himself up at the pull-up bar.

“Didn’t think anyone would show up.” You reply, now conscious about carrying on.

“Well, don’t let me stop you. Looks like you were putting that bag through hell.” Despite what you think was an attempt at a joke, his face remains still, and he begins his workout.

You get back into your fighting stance, bringing your hands up and evening out your breaths. Without looking back, you start to feel like there are eyes on you. Not just from him. From everywhere. Trying to concentrate on what’s in front of you, you take a deep but slightly shaken breath. Then without a second thought, your body leading your mind, you grab your water bottle and are out of the room within five seconds.

“This is the new recruit you were informed about. I trust you will all make her feel welcome.” Fury said. “I think she’ll be a real asset to this team.”

“Tony Stark. Pleasure.” The famous Iron Man held out his hand, a friendly grin across his face.

“Emily Quinn.” You shook his hand and smiled back, feeling slightly uneasy from the abnormal kindness.

“So, what do you do?” He asked, leaning back against the table with his arms crossed.

“What do I do?” You questioned.

“Yeah, what’s your thing?”

“My thing?”

“He means your power, your ability, whatever you have that you’ll bring to the team.” A red head had chimed in.

“Oh, my thing.” You breathed out a laugh. “I, uh, I have this sort of... sixth sense, if you will. Basically I could fight any one of you with my eyes closed if it came to it.”

“Oh, wow.” Tony said. “I bet you wouldn’t be too bad out on the field then.”

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty strong, too. And fast.” Tony opened his mouth to speak again but was interrupted.

“Enough chit chat Tony. I’d quite like to meet her now, if you’ll let me. I’m Natasha Romanoff.”

You greeted everyone else in the room, until one remained.

“James Barnes. Call me Bucky, though.” The soldier held out his right hand. Suddenly you were speechless, barely able to take his hand. You looked into his eyes and felt a slight sickness in your stomach, having feared this outcome.

“Well, now that Quinn has met everyone, let’s get back to business.” Tony continued.

Still in your head, you wondered what must have happened after you left that day.

“I’ll leave you kids to it, then.” Fury’s voice was but an echo within your mind, with so many thoughts whirling through it. But there was just one thought that made your heart involuntarily fall:

He didn't remember you.

He doesn’t remember you.

Your hands grip onto the edge of the bed where you are now sat.

“Just stop.” You mutter to yourself. “Shut up.” And, forcing your thoughts away from Bucky, you get up and take a long, hot shower.

The next few days carry on the same: training and learning and working on many things around the compound. It felt a bit like a video game. You walk from room to room, person to person, doing and talking about different things. For example, you and Tony were working on a suit for when you start heading out on missions. You and Nat and or Steve are usually sparring together. And Bruce helps with basically anything that’s mentioned around the compound that you don’t understand.

It’s now Friday afternoon and you’ve finished another session with Nat.

“Good job today. You’re doing really well, considering you were already pretty good with your sixth sense stuff. You know, you could at least pretend like you can’t already tell what’s coming when I go to hit you.” She smirks at you.

Her smirk. Something you’ve come to know and love.

“I could.” You take a sip from your water.

“So where did you learn your fighting techniques anyway?” Her question makes you almost choke on your water.

“Oh, you know, here and there, different places.” You reply timidly.

“Huh, specific.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Steve and Bucky on the other side of the gym. Steve is at the punching bag and Bucky is lifting undoubtedly heavy weights.

“What happened to him?” You ask softly, half thinking you were just saying in your head.

“Hm?”

“To Bucky. What happened?”

“Well, to begin with, he’s like over a hundred years old.” You raise your eyebrows in shock at the statement. “Yeah, I know. He was supposedly killed during the second World War, but what actually happened was HYDRA captured him.”

‘HYDRA…” You speak your thoughts out loud for a moment. “What happened when HYDRA got to him?”

“He was tested on. Tortured. Their own little experiment, which wasn’t so little. They gave him the name ‘The Winter Soldier’. He was HYDRA’s assassin, brainwashed into taking orders from them. No conscious choice.” Your skin crawls at Natasha’s words.

“Oh, wow…” You can hardly finish a sentence.

“Yeah, there’s a lot of shit the people on this team have been through that you don’t know about yet.” She mentions, and you take a breath.

“Yeah, I can imagine.” Your gaze falls onto Bucky once more. This time he looks up and locks his eyes onto yours. You feel a slight rise in your heartbeat and so you turn and start heading out with Natasha.

What you don’t know, however, is that Bucky keeps staring, intently, until you’re out of sight.

His eyebrows furrow.

“What’s the matter, Buck?” Steve notices his expression.

“It’s just- do I know that girl? Something seems so familiar about her.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #sebastian stan #fatws #the winter soldier #avengers #marvel fic #forgotten love #forgotten love series

[writingsbychlo]

smoke and fire (07a)

word count; 8511

summary; a chemical fire brings chaos, and the card system is initiated as multiple firehouse come together to try an save the staff trapped within the building.

notes; I split this one up again, just because the sum total of the part was over 15,000 words, and it had a convenient divide point, so it just made sense to do so.

warnings; chemical fires, reference to injury, reference to death, gore, burns, vomiting, reference to panic attacks.

As soon as you were stepping out of the ambulance, the stench of chemicals on the air was making your eyes water, the heat from the plant that was over a hundred metres away could be felt all the way from here, and there was a barricade being set up around you to hold the crowds back. As you stood before the building, you lifted your arm, staring up at the blazing inferno and resting your face into the crook of your elbow, breathing through the material as your throat already began to sting. 

There was the unsettling sound of emergency alarms ringing out from within the bullying loudly, glass shattering and the sound of splintering wood and foundations from inside, and the trucks of fire engines who had arrived before you were already unrolling their hoses. Looking around for your own team, you found them, Gally immediately unhooking the hoses and handing them out, and you watched as both Chuck and Winston hauled the reel up and over their shoulders, darting away towards the closest hydrants they could find. 

The blond head of your Chief came into sight, hopping down from the SUV he drove as the lights on top went out, sloppily parked as he rushed to the scene, and as he moves, he was pulling back strands of longer hair into a bun, and pacing away towards the crews. Your feet were moving underneath you before you could control them, falling into step beside Newt as he let out a rough sigh, scratching at the stubble growing along his jaw that he hadn't been able to shave before the alarm went off, a look on his face that was a mixture between irritation and worry. 

It wasn’t often that Vince came out to calls too, your Chief often spent his times at the station, making calls from within, keeping everything under control and making sure that every piece of executive work that needed to be done was completed. He only ever came to calls that required every member of personnel available, when there would be multiple different firehouses to answer a call, much like this one, where decisions would be made by the Chiefs rather than the Lieutenants, and as he paced away to meet the other high-ranking men, you arrived with your group. 

Flicking your gaze over both Gally and Thomas, you tried to assess how they were feeling. Something within you told you that neither of them was all that fond of giving up the control in a situation, and while Gally would often listen to what Thomas had to say when it came to a call, it still made it tough. Thomas wasn’t looking at the crew; he was staring out at the chief, watching Vince walk away to meet with the other’s and his eyes narrowed a little, unable to decipher what any of them were saying. 

The shaking of your arm caught your attention, a larger hand with spindly fingers hooked onto your bicep, and you followed it up, finding Newt’s gaze, and raising a brow at him. 

“I think we’re going to be put on a card system, I’ve only done one of them before, but I hate doing it.”

“I’ve never used the cards before. I don’t even know where we keep them.” You mumbled, and Newt shrugged, his eyes flicking back over to the white van that the two of you had arrived in. 

“They’re in the second-cabinet over the bed, top shelf, in a storage box.” He frowned a little as he sighed, shoulders slumping a little, and your own mood was dwindling. “I like to keep them hidden away, I don’t like to see them.”

You could only nod, remembering yourself years ago as you’d been doing your emergency field training, reaching your crisis events stage, and this definitely qualified for that. An explosion within a chemical plant, fumes going up into the air as the fires continued to burn, and the population inside were unable to get out at the current moment. The card system was something that always brought a sour taste to your mouth when you thought about those lessons, the pictures and examples you’d been given, the other paramedics who had come in on those days to discuss their own experiences, it was all extremely saddening.

Four colours of cards; red, yellow, green or black. Too many patients to possibly get into ambulances and get to the hospital, and so you were tasked with the excruciatingly difficult task of making the calls yourself, of taking every life into your own hands and risking making a decision on their health, how strong you thought their chances of survival were, and when you would be forced to give up on them. 

Green for patients you came across that would be fine, the ones who could wait for treatment, may not even have to go to the hospital at all, or could be taken by the surrounding public. Yellow cards meant more in need of care, not to be ignored, but certainly capable of waiting if it came to it, and red, those who were in a critical condition and needed urgent care. 

Then, there were the black cards. The sombre shade on a string for those who were injured beyond relief, who wouldn't make it to the hospital, or the extent of their injuries would mean surgery was deemed impossible anyway. Those who simply had to be made comfortable, because there was nothing else that could be done for them. 

You hated the card system. 

Vince was making his way back over, and the team behind you was already beginning to suit up, the rows of chemical hazmat-style suits that lay in neatly stacked rows within the chambers of the fire trucks, stacked up for use that barely ever came, kicking off their boots to try and tug the protective plastic covering up and over their suits, making sure they were sealed at their ankles, before redressing themselves once again. You perked up a little as the Chief arrived, looking a little frazzled already, but it was evident that was the mood of the day, and the other trucks began to fire up the water to spray at the flames that could be reached. 

“Alright, ‘21, listen up.” His hands rubbed together, silence falling over the group as mumbled whispers hushed, ready for commands. “Firehouse ‘17 and ‘22 have already started on the outer works, they have hoses set up and are working on the rubble and gaining us entrance. We will be going inside, along with ‘24 who are already beginning to sweep the lower floors.” Thomas only nodded, turning to confirm with his team, and Gally began to instruct the truck crew on their positions, the sounds of zippers and helmets, slamming of doors and the hiss of the engines as the fire trucks were powered down. 

“And us?”

Vince turned to look at you, glancing over his shoulder at the scene, looking around, before his eyes were fixing onto a patch of grass, shaded by a few trees, the general public lurking on it as news broadcasters began to arrive and begin to set up. “I’m going to clear you some space, pull up your ambulance, the other three are going to join you. The two of you will stay here, you’re making the most calls, the paramedics from ‘17, ‘22 and ‘25 are going to be doing hospital runs. I want cards, quick and fast, there are over three hundred people trapped in that building right now.”

The confirmation was all you needed, before Newt was jingling the van keys in his hand, a promise that he would get the truck and take it over to park, if you accompanied Vince to begin clearing civilians and broadcasters from the space. You would need to start blocking it off from the public eye and the cameras as best you could with the vehicles, knocking that it would be distracting to your work and distressing to the victims if they were constantly being watched, and you nibbled a little on your lower lips as you looked over the scene. 

Vince was already pacing away from you, Newt too, leaving you standing in the middle as your eyes flickered over it, and the only van that would be permanent there would be your’s, every other ambulance being used to make hospital journeys, as you hoped that someone had managed to call up the local hospitals, because they were all going to be preparing for an influx of new patients soon. 

The sudden slamming of a door to your side made you flinch, turning to look at the brought red vehicle as you were shocked from your thoughts, and your eyes flicked over to the scene once again. 

Thomas was only a few feet in front of you, his foot lifted onto the edge of the van as he redid his laces, the plastic material of the chemical-proof covering sitting undone around his waist, and you made your way over to his side, clearing your throat a little, and he finished doing his laces, turning to look at you silently with a questioning gaze as he stood to his full height. Pushing an arm through one sleeve, he waited for you to speak. 

“Is there any chance you could move your trucks over to the edge of the grass for me?”

He turned to look, his gaze sweeping across it, along the sides of the road, before he was looking back to the burning building, seemingly doing the equations silently in his head as he thought it all over, of what equipment they might need, of access that might be impeded, all while adjusting the suit he wore and lifting his helmet onto his head. “I guess so, why?”

“I don’t want the crowds and the media to start gathering around when the wounded start coming out, it’ll give us a little more privacy, make it easier to work, and make the people coming outta’ there feel a little less like tonight's headline news, and more just a person who needs help.” You shrugged a little, hand pushing into the pockets of your jacket as you stared up at him, his lips flicking up at the corners as he stared right back, licking over them to wet them as he nodded. 

“I can do that, for you. Give me five minutes, and I’ll get both trucks to move, just tell Minho and Fry where you want ‘em positioned.”

“Thank you, Thomas.” A breath of relief left you, Newt sounding the sirens once as he passed you by in the ambulance, as you gave him a brief nod, stepping away from Thomas as you made to follow the slowly moving vehicle and begin to prepare for the survivors who’d be delivered to you. Spinning on your heel as you went, you found Thomas already watching you go, and your lips pursed, considering your words for only a second, before releasing them; “Be careful in there, okay?”

He seemed surprised for only a moment, swallowing thickly and ducking his head, before he was giving you the same nod you’d given him, and trying to give you the best reassuring look he could in this stressful situation. “I will be.”

He offered you a cheeky smile to follow up, one eye dropping in a wink, before he was twisting on his heel to face away, and picking up a job as he set off to do his job, saving the lives of those who were trapped inside. He paused only for a moment to instruct both of the drovers on their current diversion from tasks, the three glancing over to you for just a second, and Minho offered you a thumbs-up as he did. The truck beside you hissed as it came into action, the tyres slowly inching along the concrete as they were beginning to be repositioned. 

Taking up a quick walk as you arrived at the pavement, a space left on either side of the ambulance as Newt already began unloading the belongings from inside that would be needed. There were other paramedics beginning to arrive, the pair from house ‘24 was beginning to lay out neat rows of plastic linings along the grass, pinned down as best they could be to makeshift spots for patients to be placed within, a system that would keep it as organised as it possibly could be, channels moving vertically and horizontally that were wide enough for stretchers to be wheeled through. 

Parking one truck on each side of the ambulance, the other vans sat along the opposite curb, not nearly parked as tightly as your house’s vehicles were, all ready for their departing as they were loaded up with victims to be taken to the hospital. The radio inside of your ambulance was crackling as you clambered inside to help, the firetrucks engines powering down before the men were dropping down from the cabins and bolting away after the rest of the team, towards the inferno of flames that had once been a building and business.

There was chatter on the other end of the device, the nurses desk at one of the hospitals, left running as an open line was held in preparations for the emergency barrage that would be arriving soon enough, and you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. A hand knocked on the metal casing the inside of the door, and you glanced over at Newt, before you were opening up the locker with your med bag in, and lifting it onto your shoulder as he raised his brows at you. 

“You ready to go?”

“Is anyone ever really ready to start carding people?” You sighed, hopping down from the vehicle and letting Newt hand you a stack of the cards, a collection of strings to hang over their necks that were at least a hundred thick, an equal divide of every coloured card, and you could only hope that the only issue you’d have today was running out of green cards for the people you’d be helping.

There was a twisting feeling in your gut, something making you feel like there was a bad cloud hanging over an already terrible event, a crawling and scratching kind of nausea that made you want to itch at every inch of your skin and squirm where you studio because something felt wrong, and it wasn’t just the smell of chemicals on the air that you’d already grown used to, or the sting of your eyes from the copious amounts of greasy smoke curling up into the air and clouding out the sun in patches of the sky. 

Newt’s gaze was still fixed on you, and he offered his hand, tugging you forwards a little and holding onto you as you hopped down from the van, before an arm was wrapping around your shoulders, and you were behind tugged a little closer to his side as he tucked you close to him.

“Fry added a few little extras to the food delivery this week, we can have hot chocolate when we get back.” You huffed a laugh at his words, the two of you turning to face the building as the few minutes of silence that formed the quiet before the storm dragged on into what felt like hours of anxious waiting. “C’mon, everyone loves hot chocolate. It’s a feel-good drink.”

“I never said it wasn’t!”

“The tone of your scoff said it all. There was attitude in your exhale.” He teased, squeezing you a little closer, before letting you go, and moving to talk to the other pairs that were lingered about. As you and Newt were the team assigned to stay at the scene, presumably because your team was the only squad team, and would therefore be here the longest, you were left in charge. Your mind was already spinning, and you were grateful to have Newt, the man already on his toes and beginning os et out a system for how each other house team would begin to take patients to the hospital, to make sure that everyone got there in their due course, and that nobody in need of emergency attention was left behind. 

Just as you were waiting, pausing the nibbling of a lower lip that was growing sore for just a second, a pulse of energy washed over you, a second later, glass shattering and stonework cracking as chunks splintered away, and the flames went up louder as your ears rung at the explosion that had taken place. Something unstable seemed to have ruptured within, because sirens grew a little louder, the chatter of the crowds that were being held back, crying mother's and screaming children to accompany the wails of the building, and it was overwhelming every one of your senses.

The silence that followed it lasted only for a minute, everybody in the area going silent for a split second, before more chaos than before was bursting up. Crying relatives and concerned civilians became hysterical as news teams began to gather, the vans pulling up and cameras begging assembled as teams prepared to start covering the disaster. 

The logo on the front of the building was almost hidden, charred and disguised by roaring flames, but it had been a well-known company, something in cleaning and industrial usage, and you were sure that it was going to be a big lawsuit that would make lots of lawyers happy within the next few days. 

You didn’t recognise the first firefighters to emerge, belonging to another team, but as soon as they began to come out, the first wave of people who had been trapped inside was following. They didn’t seem too the worse for wear, a lot of surface skin wounds and first degree burns, smoke inhalation and dizziness as you sat them down, but the worst it ever got was a few yellow bands for wounds that may want to be checked at the hospital, and a gash across a woman’s head from where she’d fallen in shock, a concussion threatening her, and so you’d dismissed them all. 

The first ambulance had left soon after, while you had been kneeling in the grass beside a man who was shaking violently, unable to string words together in his shock as the bottom half of his tie was burned off, still smoking a little, with a burn across the side of his face that you tried to attend to. You forced yourself to let out a sigh of relief, the temperature in the air cool just a little as the jets of water blasted from the colony of firetrucks managed to tame the flames leaving the windows, but there was an ominous orange glow from inside, the huge building nowhere near being under control yet. 

Settling onto your knees beside him, you cupped a hand on the other side of his face, nervous eyes finding yours as his jittering died down just a little, before they were welling up with tears instead. 

“I’m just going to clean up your injury a little, alright?” He took a minute, nodding his head, and trying to swallow down thickly, before he was tearing himself away, a wrack of painful sounding coughs leaving him, and he gasped for breath between bursts, the smoke inhalation making his throat raw and swollen, struggling to breathe. 

You rubbed at his back gently, easing him through it, wishing that there was more that you could do for him, and thinking about everything you needed that you didn’t have on hand. You knew the burn of smoke in your throat, the painful stinging it caused, scratchy, like standing too close to the steam coming from a pan, and burning the inside of your mouth all the way to your lungs. When he finally managed to compose himself, it was with a whispered apology under his breath, and you brushed it off, a sweet smile offered to him as you did, before you were flicking the catch on your med kit once again, and letting it fall open as you prepared to tend to him. 

“It’s a surface burn, not too bad. I know it stings right now, but it’ll only take a few weeks to heal, and there shouldn't be any scarring, as long as you don’t mess with it, alright?”

“Is it going to get a scab?”

“I shouldn't think so. It’s going to swell up a little and get itchy, just like a bee sting, but don’t scratch it, alright?” You dabbed carefully along the spot with a cooling wipe, the skin under your fingertips searching hot as it was deep shades of red, even towards the edges, before meeting his natural tan skin tone, and you could feel the trapped heat just from the touch, even through your gloves. “It may develop a blister, but if you take care of it, that shouldn't happen either.”

Swapping out the wipe and tucking it into the main compartment of your bag, empty but beginning to grow with a collection of used materials to be disposed of, you undid the cap, an ample amount of white paste onto two of your fingers, and you used your thumb to smear it across the tips and make it a little more malleable. 

“If it gets too itchy, you can take off some of the inflammation by holding something chilled, not iced, up against it. Try running a cloth under the cold tap, wringing it out and putting it in the fridge for a while. Don’t sleep on this side until the skin has healed over, though, that’ll irritate it and make it worse. Any drugstore burn cream should work pretty well for it, okay?” He ran the words back to you, slowly and surely as he tried to commit the advice to memory, and you nodded your head as he got it. “You got someone you can call to come and get you, I don’t want you driving anywhere yourself, but I don’t think this is a hospital case.”

“I can call my neighbour. She works from home.”

“That’s great, there’s phones being passed around for use if you don’t have yours.” Grabbing your bag and sealing up the med box, you didn’t bother closing your bag, just swinging it over your shoulder as it accumulated rubbish, and standing up to your full height, stretching your knees a little as they began to ache, and yet, you knew that by the end of it all, you wouldn't even be able to feel them. You probably wouldn't get out of bed at all tomorrow, though, you’d be so sore after it all. 

“Excuse me, sir, do you have time for a few questions?”

You jumped a little at the sudden voice behind you, turning to find a smartly dressed woman, pencil skirt and a blazer, with freshly highlighted hair and manicured nails wrapped around a microphone, and her cameraman only a few feet behind her, fiddling with the switched on the device as he waited for confirmation, half of his face hidden from you as he peered into the lens. 

The man on the floor fumbled a little, the plastic sheet underneath him crinkling as he moved, and you watched him gape slightly, the woman balancing on her heels on the grass raising her brows a little, a ridiculously fake smile plastered on her lips to be polite, and she didn’t acknowledge your presence at all, even when you cleared your throat in a points manner. 

“We aren’t taking any interviews.”

“I just need a segment for my channel, that’s all.” She hummed, glancing at you over her shoulder, her eyes dragging up and down your body in a way that would’ve made you insecure had it not been for the fact that the bulky uniform and professional hair you wore wasn’t for screen views and attention, but for practicality and saving lives, and that was enough for you.

“Yeah? Well, you’re going to have to find them somewhere else. This is for victims of the fore, not your next interview. Get off my grass.” 

She turned to stare at you, straightening up to her full height and standing a few inches taller than you, her eyes narrowed as she tried to seem intimidating enough o get her way, and had it not been for the adrenaline of the situation surging through every cell in your body, you probably would’ve caved under their harsh stare. 

“In fact-” Your voice raised a little, enough that Newt and the other patients, paramedics, and news broadcasters that were walking the faintly marked pathways to find their next interrogation victim could hear. “All the news channels can step the fuck off the grass and get behind the vans with the other civilians. We’re treating trauma victims here, you can wait and get your interviews if any steps forward to speak, on the other side of that barrier.”

You raised an arm, pointing at the trucks that Thomas had arranged his men to purposefully park for you, but never taking your eyes off of her, raising a single and challenging brow, and she held your gaze for only a second longer, before she was huffing out, stomping away and back to where you’d commanded her to go. The other pairs of cameramen and hosts followed suit, all of whom were glaring, peering around like vultures and offering interviews out to everyone they passed, trying to tempt the wounded to cross the threshold and set themselves up on-camera. 

The next person up was someone who was hunched over a little, a hand clutched around their stomach as they supported themselves on the sheet, another victim retrieved from within the flames was sitting beside them, the two huddled together, one older and one younger, and as you knelt down beside them, their attention flickered to you. 

From your initial assessment, you hooked a green card over each of their necks, leaving the handful of coloured plastic necklace slips to the side in order to ensure that they were there, in case more serious problems began to arise. Newt was working along the aisle beside you, his eyes catching yours for only a second, a swift nod, before he was taking place beside a man who’s family seemed to have already found him, a young girl kneeling beside him as another crawled into his lap, and your heart warmed at the sight. 

The waves of patients came and went, your focus on the women in front of you being your primary concern, but it didn’t stop the white noise around you from making itself known every so often. There wasn’t a second of break, the second you cleared one plastic sheet, whether it be sending the patient to the hospital or straight home with medical advice, it seemed to be being refilled. Glimpses of your team hidden amongst the similarly clad strangers of other houses kept a soft smile flickering on your face occasionally as you scanned them over, diagnosing one with smoke inhalation resulting in dizziness and nausea, and the other with minor burns and a possible concussion, both being sent to the hospital with a family member who was called to come and collect them, and to give their coloured tag back to a member of staff before leaving. 

There were still news reporters buzzing around the edges flashes of cameras and heavy video set-ups lance don shoulders as smartly dressed presenters wandered with perfect hair and microphones to stick into the faces of anyone who would stop to give information for even a second, your blood boiling at the idea of it all. It made you nervous, to know that these people had already been through so much, that you and your team were under so much pressure, and you were being projected live with your actions under scrutiny as it was all making tonight's headlines, ready to be printed on tomorrow’s papers and on the evening’s Twitter trends.

Just as you were searching for your next location, eyes flickering over the patients at who you’d already seen, who Newt had visited, searching over chests and necks for strings that led to coloured cards, before a hand landed on your shoulder, making your jump. Heavy and large, and you sighed a little with irritation as a voice came to follow; “S’cuse me, ma’am, do you have a second to answer a few questions?”

You scowled, shaking your head and squeezing your eyes shut as you tried to contain yourself. The anger was already too much, the stress within your body left you bubbling over on an overly emotional high that could topple in, either way, these kinds of big events always made panic rise up within you, and you’d be emotionally destroyed by the end of it all, frazzled and drained, with nothing to help but some peace and quiet, and comforting yourself with the company of your favourite movie or your bed. “I already told you all, no fucking interviews unless the patients come to you themselves, so unless you’re one of the injured workers from inside, get off my damn grass.”

Spinning on your heel to face the man, your eyes widened, someone much taller than you were was all but towering over you, an expression on his face that was somewhere between amused, confused, and concerned, and he looked around the scene, the uniform shirt on his chest shifting with a rustle of material as he tucked his thumbs into his belt, brows raising a little. 

“Officer. Right, sorry, my bad. I’m just a little..” You waved an arm out around yourself, the low groans and cries of pain, a chaotic clamouring of voices, the wails of sirens on trucks and ambulances, the sounds of fire and shouts of teams as their radios crackled, it was enough to give anyone a headache, and there was already a throbbing behind your eyes that was only going to get worse.

“Overwhelmed?”

“Understatement.” You mumbled, and he chuckled a little, your head rolling from side to side, a collection of pops and clicks sounding as you eased yourself out a little. “What can I do for you?”

“More like what can I do for you, actually.” He shrugged a little, looking around over the crowds, and you twitched a little at a particularly sharp cry, knowing that people were needing your help. “Looks like you and the other paramedics have things under control, as far as the chief’s over there say, you and that chap over there-” His head nodded towards where Newt was standing, a sullen look on his face as he hooked a red card over the neck of a young woman who couldn’t be any older than mid-twenties. “-are organising everything here. So, just tell me what you need.”

“What we need?”

“What we can do to help, we just want to offer what we can. It’s a freak accident, and that building is still on fire, so we can’t exactly start investigating anything yet,” You nodded, nibbling on your lower lip as you began to catch on. “So, just tell me what I can do to make things a little easier for you.”

“Okay, well, where to start.” You had no idea, trying to clear your thoughts as to what they would be able to do that would benefit everyone here. “Let’s start with a real barrier, there’s a lot of people beginning to gather, and it’s loud. It makes it hard to work, there are news channel vultures everywhere, and it’s distressing to the injured being brought out, makes them feel like zoo animals or something in a circus. Push ‘em back.”

“You got it, we’ll set up some boundaries. What else?”

“On the topic of the crowds, though, you could start sifting through for family. A lot of them are calling for family members and friends to take them home or to hospital, to take the pressure off of the ambos’.” He nodded as you spoke, and you twisted to look away from him, hands on your hips as you tried to think clearly, a list of necessities beginning to form. “If you can, start going around and getting anyone capable to fill out forms so we can get the right families over, we don’t need more people wandering around and making it too busy to see what’s happening, we need to get exact families there accurately.”

He only nodded, letting you speak on, before you were letting out a sigh of relief as you finally got some support in place.

“Collecting up the cards when people leave, so we don’t run out. We’re on a coloured band system, so if you bring them back to us, we can redistribute them.” His eyes flickered down to the pile of plastic cards in your hands, observing them for a second, and nodding his head. “Lastly, I need some water bottles. A lot of them, these people have smoke inhalation, and they need to be taking slow and steady sips of water, and we don’t have any to give out.”

“I can definitely take care of all that.” He beamed, chest puffing up a little, and he lifted the radio on his shoulder to begin speaking to the rest of the officers that you could see wandering around. “If you think of anything else, come and find one of us.”

“I will. Thanks, Officer, uh..”

“Officer Paris.” You dipped your head, giving him your name in return, and he repeated it to memorise it, before the radio was crackling with a response, and he set off to complete the tasks you’d given to him. 

What you would term as the second wave of patients was worse. Despite the constant trickle of what were mostly skin wounds and minor injuries, with the occasional severity coming through, the more serious issues were beginning to arise now. Deeper from within the bowels of the building, those with serious injuries, dripping blood and flesh so raw it looked agonising, and wounds that would make anyone with a faint stomach pass out. The ones who’d been closer to the danger, trapped longer, wounded more severely, and the pressure was beginning to grow overwhelming with a whole new wave of crowds, not enough space for them all as your rush became even worse.

Minho was leading a group out with Brenda and Winston at the rear, and these seemed to be a crowd from deeper within the blaze. Suddenly the once empty and quiet grasses were filled, writhing bodies, spills of blood and raw flesh, dazed patients who could barely remember their own names and tear-stained cheeks. The green cards were a distant memory, yellow running out as you were moving through your stacks of red, and every time you turned, there was another person calling out for your help, another paramedic ready to make a run to the hospital, another family member searching for an employee with concern and stress written into their features. 

 “Ma’am, I just need you to hold still for me, alright?” It was as though she didn’t processed your words at all, going in one ear and out of the other as she twitched relentlessly, jerking away from you a little more each time as you tried to tend to the injury on her forehead, watching as she whipped around, frantic eyes searching the scene as the trauma she’d witnessed and been a part of. 

“Sorry, it just stings, is all.” She let out a sigh, attempting to hold herself still as you worked carefully at the grazes and burns along her skin. It was a simple gash, easy to fix and not much of a concern, the blood no longer beading along her hairline where the cut lay. Her skin was flushed with a pink tinge around the edges as you wiped it clean, pushing back her hair as you tried to judge whether or not to put paper stitches on it and pull the skin back together. She jerked again, hissing under her breath, and you mumbled an apology under your breath, but she only frowned. “I don’t have any right to be in pain, it’s just a stupid cut, there are people hurt worse than I am.”

As if on cue, you watched as a stretcher moved past only a few aisles over, the rustle of plastic and the pained groans of someone who had a red card dangling from their fingertips was rushed past, jostling over the dips and bumps in the grass as they tried to hold it as steadily as possible. “You have every right to be in pain! Just because you aren’t as hurt as them, doesn’t make your pain any less valid.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You mumbled, settling on leaving it as it was but rubbing a dollop of healing gel into the wound carefully as the second tube of the day was already moving towards its end, and you were utterly exhausted. You weren’t sure how much time had passed, or how many people you’d seen. It could have been minutes or hours, tens or hundreds, but your head was spinning, no time to focus on anything except for the wounded before you. “These cuts can sting like a bitch, I hate them myself, they’re in a sensitive place.”

“Thanks for helping me.” Her voice cracked, tears beginning to build in her eyes, and you let her hair fall back down into place. She couldn't be much older than you were, a charred and torn blouse on her shoulders with a pencil skirt that was tattered, and you hated that she wouldn't be able to look at a smart skirt or a pair of heels here without having traumatic memories of this day again. “I don’t know what happened. One moment I was trying to find a new packet of staples in the storage cupboard, and the next moment, the floor was crumbling in on top of me.”

“I know, these things just come on very suddenly. It can be terrifying.”

She sniffled a little, a breathless and empty laugh on her lips before she was wiping at the edges of her eyes gently. “I couldn't breathe. There was so much dust, and I was trapped, it was dark, and then it wasn’t. Suddenly there were flames overhead, and my ears were ringing, silencing becoming loud silence and screams and-” She hiccuped, and you pressed a water bottle into her hands, encouraging her to take several deep gulps of the cool liquid as the tears now flowing from her face cut tracks in the grey littering of dust on her cheeks. “Oh, God, the screams. It was awful, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget them.”

“It gets easier, don’t worry.” Her eyes found yours, searching you for honesty, and there was no lie to be held. You’d been in many of those situations yourself, and eventually, it got easier to live with, to know you may have survived when someone else didn’t, or simply to know that you did the best you could but it wasn’t enough. “You can’t control everything, and it isn’t your fault. Once you accept that, the guilt leaves you, and it’s easier to live with, because you know you were just someone in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Is that how you cope?”

“Well, yes. That and having people around me who make it easier. You need people like that.” As you swung your bag up onto your shoulder, you stood from where you were crouching, her eyes darting across the crowds as she presumably waited for her next of kin. “You got someone coming to get you?”

“My girlfriend is on her way.”

“Good. Clean that cut once a day, no hairspray of makeup in it until it’s totally healed over, and keep an eye on it for infections. You’ll be all good.” She repeated the words, memorising them, before offering her thanks once again, and just with that, you snapped out of your bubble with her, the noise that had been tuned out to become faded and muffle background noise was suddenly overwhelming again, and you couldn't focus on any one thing. 

As you’d tended to her, it was like everything else fell away, each case being given your sole attention, and yet as you slipped between victims to find the next person in need of help, you were dizzy with the commotion once again. 

It all became a flurry of movement, time slipping away around you as you tended to one person after another, the green cards you’d been growing familiar with and running out of were now in abundance, each one returned to you was like a kick in the gut, a sea of yellows and reds to represent injuries as victims from deeper within the catastrophe came through. You weren’t sure how long it had been, or how many people had passed you by. 

There was mud stained onto your knees and legs from where you leant by the side of patients in the dirt, and there was blood staining your gloves and sleeves, no longer clean as loose hairs fell free from your up-do as you tried to keep it out of your face. There was grime and blood crusted into your hair, smears on your skin and you were feeling the extent of the forming headache beginning to take its toll on you. Your head felt like it was being squeezed tightly, the stress of it all making your hands shake each time you tried to steady them to give stitches, or to hold yourself still to be able to run an exam. 

Every person you came to had a different story, and the day was tickling by in a blur, the firemen finally beginning to make a move on the fire itself and the containment over just finding survivors within the walls, your heart thumping with relief and concern each time you saw a member of your team flash by, far too quickly to even exchange polite nods, but at least it just confirmed to you that they were all okay. 

As you locked up the backdoors of one ambulance, the pained groan of an older woman who had just handed you back her red card could still be heard from within, and you banged your hand on the vehicle to signal them to leave, the rumbling engine carrying them away from you, sirens flicking not long after they left the curb. You were only given a moment’s reprieve, before footsteps were coming toward you, thudding against the ground behind you, and your eyes slipped close for a second in your exhaustion. With a hand on your arm and a force that pulled you around a little to face them, you tried to focus your eyes on the person before you, doing an initial sweep over them. 

You recognised the uniform, matching to your own, identical in everything except for the house number stitched onto the fabric, and you let out a little sigh, at least a little relieved that it was just another paramedic, which would give you a second to gather yourself.

“Who's next?” Their brows raised, a little blood smeared on her shoulder in the vague shape of fingerprints and the strands from her hair was beginning to fall out from her braid, messy and undone, clearly pulled back up in a rush and you could only imagine how the sights at the hospitals must be. There were plenty of people who’d be injured externally from the fire and explosion too, civilians and those who had been passing by at the time, as well as anyone who had removed themselves from the building before a firefighter found them. “I need you to tell me who to take next.”

You blinked a little, unsure of when you’d gotten stuck in your thoughts, and cleared your throat, trying to offer a nod as you processed a catalogue of everybody you’d seen so far. “Uh, yeah. Right.” You looked around, your eyes locking on the person you were looking for, and nodding your head towards them. “There’s a man over there, red card, head split open from the rubble, losing blood fast. I put him in a neck brace and managed to close his wound but it’s going to need stitches and surgery. Definite haemorrhaging.”

She offered you a nod, the House ‘17 paramedic dashing away from you quickly, calling out the name of her partner and you wished you could remember it but it felt as though it had gone within one ear and out of the other, never once stopping to process it or memorise it. 

Running a hand over your face, you took a split second, the racing of your heart in your chest was beginning to ache, and your throat was raw, and you forced yourself to take at least one slow breath, holding it before letting go, and feeling your heart calm from it’s rapid thudding, even if just for a moment. 

You were caught up taking a moment to yourself that you missed the distressed call the first time, the sound of it rattling around in your brain for a second, and your brows furrowed, eyes cracking open to look over the scene before you as you tried to discover if it had been real. Nobody was looking at you, nobody was calling again, and so you are certain that the familiar and panicked calling had been imagined. 

However, when it came again, your entire body stiffened. It was clearer, far more easily recognisable and a lot closer. His voice trembled, deep and rasping and distorted only by the mask that would be on his face, and your head whipped over the scene, before spinning on your heel to search further. “(Y/N)?”

Then you saw him, emerging around the side of an ambulance, head twisting frantically as he searched, a body slung across his arms, burned and bloody and flopping almost lifelessly within his hold, and the water bottle in your hands shook a little as it fell away, half-empty and rolling away from you across the grass with your shock. “Thomas!”

He turned, shoulders relaxing a little as his gaze set on you, and he took rapid steps towards you. Searching for the closest empty plastic-lined bay to him, finding one with the sheet flapping a little in the wind, and pointing it out to him. He paused, your feet already moving underneath of you as you went to meet him, and he twisted to a new angle, meeting you at the bay as he sunk down to lay the body delicately into the grass.

Whoever it was writhed as soon as they were placed down, curling in on themselves and groaning, arms wrapping up, and something between a pained yell and a sob left them, your heart cracking at the youthful sound of their voice. Dropping to your knees, a painful shock ran over numbed nerves, sparking you up in pain from where you thought you’d lost all feeling whatsoever, but that wasn’t where your mind was at. 

Setting down your bag, Thomas dropped to his knees on the opposite side of you, and you stripped off your gloves, swapping them out for a fresh pair as you looked at the extensive injuries this boy held, looking to be even younger than Chuck was, barely even eighteen, possibly even younger, perhaps just an intern, as you rolled him over onto his back slowly. Stripping off his helmet, it clattered and rolled in the grass, the mask following, and then you were catching sight of panic-stricken and worried eyes, flecked with golden speckles that seemed dulled in his fear, and his brows were pulled tightly together. 

“I-I dug him out of burning rubble. You can help him, right?”

He swallowed thickly, and you ran your gaze over him, pursing your lips, and taking a deep and steadying breath as you prepared to speak. “I’m gonna’ do everything I possibly can.”

“I should have done more. I should have found him sooner, I should have checked sooner.” His voice rose a little higher with each criticism he gave himself, and his eyes were fixed on the boy, you weren’t sure if he even knew if he was speaking aloud or whether those were thoughts he’d been intending to keep secreted to himself, attacking himself within his own mind, accidentally exposed. 

The boy wretched, a heaving cough that was dry but splattered blood across the ground, beside him as he twisted to turn over, and you brushed back the hair out of his head, picking up a simple and cleansing wipe of aloe vera to begin wiping at blood and soot-stained skin, to be able to see what you were doing. The boy was in and out of consciousness, and Thomas lifted an unstable hand, gaze flicking to you for permission for only a second, before he was placing a hand on the boys shoulder softly. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner, kid.”

“Thomas..” He shook his head, unwilling to meet your eye, as though he knew the pitying look that would rest there. He needed help, he needed comfort, the same way that you had done not so long ago after your own traumatic incident. His hands were covered by thick gloves, the ones that he could scarcely feel anything through anyway, and he was covered almost head to toe by protective equipment, save for the helmet and mask he’d removed, the only skin that was visible to you. 

Resting a hand on his jaw, your thumb swept over his cheek softly, feeling the tick of the muscles underneath as you slowly guided his face back up, sad eyes meeting yours, and his head tipped into your hand as his chin trembled. “I should have found him sooner.”

“It’s not your fault. I can take care of him from here, I promise. You found him, you saved him from that building.” He sniffed, nodding his head a little, and he brought up a gloved hand to sit over yours on his jaw, rubbing his thumb over the back of your palm as your fingers ran gently over his skin, scratching lightly enough to be soothing. “Go save more lives, and let me save his.”

He paused, before he was picking up his equipment again, and nodding his head. “Thank you.” His lips flicked up at the sides, no real joy in them but it was a token of his gratitude, and you returned the empty gesture, everything inside of you feeling empty, and you choked back the emotions within you as he left, and you didn’t dare to move until you’d seen him fade into the cross to returned to duty. 

#thomas #thomas the maze runner #thomas x reader #thomas/reader #smoke and fire #SAF #tommy month #tomuary #tom-uary #dylan o'brien #dylan obrien #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien/reader #dylan obrien thomas #dylan obrien the maze runner #dylan obrien x reader smut #dylan obrien/reader smut #thomas/reader smut #thomas x reader smut

[taro-im]

wind flower𖣘

starring: Sugawara x reader

both of you are 24

angst, might make a part two

(also if you haven’t heard the song windflower listen to it now it’s so good)

here’s a cliché love story of mine

a break up just like another

you probably know already…

readers pov:

“y-y/n, we need to break up… I’m so sorry it’s just that I can’t be the only one putting effort into this relationship…” he said scratching the nape of his neck

“I understand thank you Sugawara san” I said holding my head down because if I look at him right now I’m going to break down… it’s my fault anyways…

“you can still call me Koushi-we can still be friends” he said trying to touch my shoulder but I dodged his touch, feeling overwhelmed

“well sugawara I gotta go goodbye” I said exiting our favorite cafe we use to go together, he still wanted to keep in touch with me but I couldn’t handle that overwhelming feeling… so I told him “goodbye” we never said that too each other because we always thought we would never have to say goodbye to each other but here we are,

he moved all his things out of are shared apartment before I could see him off… the only thing that was left were the roses he gave to me a week ago

…..

it’s been three months since I haven’t contacted my ex Sugawara Koushi… I couldn’t cry for no reason, I couldn’t smile either, I took more showers than usual, I lost my appetite but when I did gain an appetite I would just binge.

everything i use to love to do use to involve him doing it with me, he made my favorite dessert taste bitter, he made every cologne I smell at malls feel nostalgic, the cheerful music I use to listen to feels more melancholic

I was really lonely while you weren’t here, I had a hard time…

I remember the first three years of are relationship was beautiful it was like a coming of age romance drama, but we had to grow up and find a future for ourselves I won’t be biased when I say that I wasn’t the only one being toxic in the relationship but I just wish I could of redid things in the past so I wasn’t like this I wish I told you how much I loved you

when I was with you, why couldn’t I treat you better?

“darling, when I have enough money I’ll buy you that beautiful promise ring, and you better wear it ok?” He said embracing me from behind looking at the shop door on a cold winters day… I remember me and him would always walk by that jewelry shop and they would always have those two rings on display… Sugawara and I saved up the money for it but then the ring was gone and we weren’t able to buy it “aww man I busted my ass at that coffee shop for nothing” he whined and I laughed “it’s ok koushi at least you have some money for a rainy day”…. I remembered both of us were so determined of each other’s goals and how he would always support my decisions… after work he would always somehow bring flowers too me even if it was winter I regret not taking care of those beautiful flowers but at least I have those roses I’ve been watering them everyday

why are sweet words starting to linger now?

how many times

i’ve been regretting it dear…

now I’m thinking those flowers are really pretty

I should of known we weren’t going to work out we both wanted different things in the end, it was suppose to be us against the world but in the end we both were against each other, I wish I was more determined to fix and mend our relationship but I didn’t and you were the only one trying to make me feel better I’m so selfish when I think about it now, I didn’t deserve your love but like I said I’m selfish I still need you even though you don’t need me…

wind flower, wi-wind flower

our intertwined, yet separate love storyline

wind flower, wi-wind flower

I’ve putted the roses by the window sill for more petals to bloom, because some of the petals were wilting away, why can’t our love bloom again like those rose petals?…

are we the only ones saying goodbye? oh why?

du du du du, are we the only ones hurting?

but like flower petals that will bloom again, like flower petals, hey

It’s been 5 months apart from each other , I’m thankful for all the time I have spent with you because those were the most precious memories I have ever had with someone, I’ve been slowly healing like those rose petals, i’m just worried that the roses are slowly wilting more than blooming

get better day by day

get better day by day

some days I feel so free, but on other days I feel a wave of old emotions coming by, but it’s ok I can manage by myself…

a day that’s nice because the wind is blowing

a carefree night being alone and free

ooh ooh ooh ooh, a depressing day passes by, oh why, why?

It’s been seven months the only thing I had from you were those roses… those roses are wilting away, everything feels so depressing and excruciating, I miss you so much

because of this break up

the outside felt too loud, knocks on my door are a shame

a single plate on the dinner table, by myself

pretending I’m fine, a late meal, yeah

the cloudy weather makes me feel down

there aren’t normal days anymore, why is everything so irritating?

It’s still hard to be alone in this apartment so I moved out of our shared apartment and decided to rent a new place to start fresh

when we were together why couldn’t it be more beautiful?

i’ve been regretting it dear

now I’m thinking those flowers are really pretty

I forgot to water the wilting roses today, I’ve tried watering them more but they still won’t bloom… that was your last gift I have from you…

I’m to afraid to contact you and you haven’t contacted me… I guess our love was like those roses, I’m sorry Sugawara

if I didn’t like you back then

this break up wouldn’t have happened, right?

from the day we stopped using “we” when refering to us (ooh, ooh, ooh)

consolation for myself has all become my responsibility

i’ll live today as if it’s nothing

#Spotify #sugawara koushi #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu angst #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu #hq sugawara #sugawara x reader #sugawara angst

[bramblemantle]

12, 17, 24!

12 - Fandom you’ve drawn the most for?

god it’s gotta be rain world huh? i mean it’s still mostly oc stuff that i draw and i’ve only doodled the canon characters like once (i do love them very very much tho 💖 it’s just hard to generate ideas about characters i don’t know). Runner up is probably hollow knight? again, also mostly ocs, and like half of it was your ocs sggsgdhhdhhd <3

17 - Favourite oc/sona drawing?

this is probably also that group pic with rw ocs or Lun’s duel (both cool lineless scenes that i think turned out rlly well with some fave ocs) but to pick something different, i really really like Raster’s ghost design :]

I used one flat colour and used opacity to create the illusion of tones, and then did some funky layer mode stuff on top and im so pleased with the result !!!

24 - What do you like most about your art style?

Ohhh this is a hard question? I mean i like my art style i have a lot of fun with it but i’m trying to find a thing that, when i look back on art i drew, makes me go “that. that thing i do really good. proud of that one thing”

y’know what actually, it’s probably my character designs! I have been told time and time again that i make really fuckin complex designs and it’s true sgbshbdbdhd but i love them <3 ! Especially happy with the human chars i’ve been designing recently, i think i’ve done pretty good at avoiding sameface issues! People were a struggle for a long time because i was an animal artist first but i’m now at the point where i can really have fun drawing them!

most of the human characters i’ve designed this year (+ adam, the dude with porcelain skin, who i didn’t design but really enjoy the art i did; & cori who had a mostly complete design already when i was asked to draw them. and also i designed cress prior to 2021 i think but didnt like the art enough and redid it), from approximately newest to oldest:

Also my most recent lineart style im very happy with, which you can see in two or three of these pictures with the chalky lines? Same brush i use for lineless and usually for colouring. I have newer examples but can’t post them yet, they are secret santa gifts that are still secret

#bramble rambles #ask meme answers #image #my art #thanks 💕💖💕 #:]

[jackk-attackk]

Renovating the orchard: part three!

I spent a lot of time today working on the barn/farm area again! The trees are growing in nicely, and the ones I didn’t chop down and replant have fruit already (due to a little bit of me being impatient and time travelling) I was showing the whole thing to my mom and she came up with the idea of using another pair of stalls and simple panels to make a hayloft up at the top of the barn, which I really love!!! It’s just too high for me to get a decent picture of, with the location and everything, but I’m going to keep trying.

(you can kind of see it a little better here, along with the brand-new wind turbines on the rock jetty!!!)

I replaced the log lounge roof with solar panels, and I like that a lot better. I also made a custom design to put on the simple panels that make up the main-level “walls” of the barn, to better match the design I made for the doors. I found some log benches, seeds, saplings, and a few other random things in my inventory, balloons, and other places on the island that I’m redoing, and incorporated them around. I also set the turnips that I bought this week out, rather than keeping them in my inventory!

You can see that I had to move the whole cliff out further to accomodate the solar panels (and then the extra simple panels, too, anyways), so I had to redo the path, but I think it still looks good this way! (I redid the orchard path as well, but I’m not going to do any pictures of that until I have a sunny day and all of the trees have fruit!) I also got the garden faucet in, but completely forgot to take any pictures of where I put it oops—

Overall, I’m really happy with how this area is coming together! I think the whole thing has a really cute look, especially in the early morning light like it is here. There’s still some work that needs to be done, and I’m sure I’ll be fiddling with details for a while before I’m really happy with it! I still want to do some more patches of gardening in the gap between the fences and pumpkin patches, but still haven’t decided what to put there, so it’s going to wait for now. Since I’m from Pennsylvania, I’d really like to try and figure out a way to put a hex sign (or something that looks like one) on the barn, since pretty much every barn I’ve ever seen in my life has had a hex sign on it, but I’m not sure if there’s a way to do that. I wish you could hang wall items on simple panels, but I don’t think that’s possible, so I’ll just have to figure something else out!

Dated: 12/27/2020

Items used and how I built the barn under the cut:

Bamboo basket (1)

Bamboo shoots

Flower seeds

Hand cart (1)

Hand cart (1)

Hay bed (2)

Hose reel (1)

Log bench (2)

Metal can (1)

Pumpkin starts (24)

Sapling

Silo (1)

Simple DIY workbench (1)

Simple panel (8 total; 4 for doors, 4 for walls) customized with custom designs

Solar panel (2) OR log garden lounge (6)

Spiky fence (10 I think?)

Spooky scarecrow (1)

Stall (5 total) customized with dark wood

Tin bucket (1)

Turnips

Wind turbine (2)

Wooden barrel (2)

Wooden toolbox (1)

Garden faucet (1; not pictured)

Paths used:

Dark dirt path

Light dirt path

Barn construction: (inspired by @poppypier )

Build a 3x6 cliff. You need at least one space on one side and two on the other (between drop off to sand, cliffs, etc.) to fit a stall and silo respectively. You’ll also want to make a little extra space on the cliff for you to stand on to place items, so building it 4x6 to start isn’t a bad idea.

Lay a custom wood pattern on the ground on top of the cliff (this is just to make it so you don’t see the grass under the solar panels/garden lounges) over the 3x6 space you’re planning to use. I used a custom design pattern instead of the wooden path option so I wouldn’t have grass showing at the edges of the cliff, but it’s up to you what you use!

Place two stalls in the center, rooves sloping towards the outside, not towards each other. I recommend doing this first, as they’re a lot harder to place/move with the solar panels in place. Put two simple panels with a barn door design in front of the stalls (If you don’t want the upper story to have doors, just use whatever pattern you’re using for the walls on these panels!).

Put one solar panel on either side of the stalls, sloping the same way as the stall rooves. If you prefer, you can use three log lounges on either side for a lower wooden roof.

Demolish any extra cliff segments you constructed to start. Pave the area under the barn with the dark dirt path (or whatever other path/pattern you want).

Place two stalls in the middle of the cliffs, the same way you set up the two on top of the cliffs, and place two simple panels with a door pattern in front of them. (You could also offset these doors if you wanted, rather than putting them in the middle, but I like having them there because of the hayloft above them.)

Place two simple panels with a wall design up against the cliff face on either side of the stalls on the ground.

Put the last stall on one side of the cliffs and the silo on the other. You could also replace the silo with a sixth stall, if you prefer.

Decorate! I used log benches, a hay bed, some plants and seeds, a barrel, a bamboo basket, a DIY workbench, and more to decorate, but you can use whatever you want! Change up the colors, move the components around, shift the front doors to make them look open: use your imagination! You can put things on the stalls, too—especially any off to the sides, since you can’t really see the ones in front or get to the ones up top) for extra details or even storage! Add fences, fields, gardens, toy animals, tools, or whatever else you want to really get the farm vibes going.

Happy crafting!!!

#acnh #acnh edit #acnh inspiration #acnh inspo #animal crossing #animal crossing new horizons #haven isle #acnh blog #acnh exterior #acnh outside #acnh outdoors #jackk plays acnh #acnh screenshots #acnh community #acnh island #acnh design #acnh barn #acnh farm #acnh orchard #farmcore

[shytiff]

Apr 2021 Wins

Started typing this on 4th apr lmaooo

1 - went to mcd. bought chicken + rice with the app promo. there’s a staff helping me on the order machine lol i feel badd there’s no need to do thatt. ate my lunchmade by mom at mcd’s muschola and went to sbux bcs its tumbler day. green tea latte w skim milk as usual. sent dr triya’s translation. ecmocard. started rereading goong (AGAIN. i probably have read it like 3 times minimum). still bring some feels

2 - its holiday today. spent almost the whole daylight rereading goong (turns out its pronounce ‘gung’ not ‘gong’ lol ive been wrong all this time) and finished it. the scene where they stare at each other, separated by the castle door, always gets me. got the old ipad charged (the screen are like 30% close to detaching and falling apart) and started AOT

3 - spent the whole day reading AOT. i like it when i have mini purposes in life (eg: finishing a manga series). AOT rly talks a lot about what do you want to do in life, the consequences of your choices and how you have to live with it. i felt triggered in a good way. the characters dont rly judge other’s choices, but they question them. discuss about it. give you some moral push. second gladi today. my vbg was still filpped hhhh. read aot until i felt sleepy and fell asleep. woke up very near subuh and prayed isya. my toxic trait is the horrible self care (and im talking bare minimum lol hehe lmao)

4 - finished aot. Asked irun about some aot explanations and she sent 5 paragraphs in one bubble. Slept. Flavola, kopsus coklat and somay. Also ate japota honey butter. Did 1 long input of ecmocard. Followed baepsae choreo. Moved my body a bit. Wow im not immediately sleeping. Amazing

5 - arrived at harkit 11-ish and went back about 1pm loll. super hungry when im arriving in kalideres. bought tahu colek worth 3000 (i wonder how the seller hears me through my 2 layers of mask), roti sisir and some ice cream in alfamidi. my fitlife protein powder ran out again. its my 2nd already. did some ecmocard, wasted my time after maghrib

6 - woke up late. did not have the mental strength to go to harkit so i decided to just stay home. bought sbux 1L green tea and macchiato. wasted the daylight and finally did some ecmocard in the evening,,,,

7 - off to harkit 7.30-ish pm in the rain. Took some data for ecmocard. Went to salemba to get tabung and surat bebas pustaka. Had breakfast slash lunch first, tried guudfuud (red rice, beef and omega egg). I like that the rice was not too much. Met up w ness ren and talked about isip dilemmas at sky. Afterwards went to flavola. Ordered mie rebus and roasted milk tea cause i somehow feel sooo hungry and in need of calories. It tasted so good, i was sitting in my usual seat facing the window, and the sky was a mixture of blue and grey. Brought croissant and sakura pocky at indomart. Ate the bread immediately after indomie. Went back home. Juan brought tahu gejrot that was delicious and crunchy. Internship files briefing by akis. Fell asleep

8 - woke up. Saw that dr retha was up for interview. Panicked. Thankfully it was at 12. I left home at 9:40 ish and arrived 11:50. Its a long ass way. Turns out i was interviewed with ka agassi. The doctors are so kind. They explained the gist of anesthesiology profession, and how its a choice you make, and its okay as long as you like what you do. Tried halo bowl for lunch. Sous vide chicken, rice, caesar sauce, beef bacon, and the deliciouss butter broccoli. Went back to kalideres and to starbucks. I only spent <2 hrs in there (a waste of money, i know). Bought decaf hazelnut latte (apparently the beans were kenyan something? Medium?) and butter croissant (need to cushion my stomach). Did GCP certification and sent it to the ever so kind mba Ai. Still got energy from the caffeine, did some ecmocard, read quran, read.... Toji fanfic 🤦‍♀️

9 - went to rsf w mom. We took the wrong way and had to take the long way but thank god theres still time to spare. Met dr rara. Some briefing. Went to rscm w agassi, submitted files for ijazah, went back to RSF. Girlll the cost of transport. MRT: 12K. Grab: 16-17k. Thats one way trip. Bought food at rsf canteen. Eocru briefing by the research coordinator. Ward tour w dr retha. Snacked on ovaltine provided by mba ai. Went home after maghrib by tj. Liqo along the way. Glad bersih (came late). Drank macchiato for some strength but still fell asleep quickly.i shouldnt have laid down

10 - kebakaran jenggot in the morning due to green screen positioning. Finally got the appropriate setup (after many fabric tries and cutting my mukena) at 08:30. Finished showering 08:45. Zoom was opened at 9 lmao. Somehow finished before 09:30. Zoompah w mom and dad along side me. After its ovee, some "photoshoot" w fam. At this point i was truly rly sleepy. Took of my makeup. Changed my clothes. And then racil silv dev showed up lol. I got gifts c: and then atikah came. And then i redid my makeup, this time with the help of friends to create fantastic eye make up look (which i can never pull off). Eyebrows by sil, eyeshadow and liner by cheldev lol. Took some photos. Dajen came. Talked. Videocalled w pupuy. A surprise gift from fianti came. And then chel dajen went back at 8. Still cant sleep. Slept at like 11-12

11 - lazed. Woke up, ate pizza (mom bought 2 of phd's 1m pizza) and bakwan, slept again. Matcha latte and ecmocard. Watched a bit of 2nd sinau

12 - off to rsf at 06:20. Arrived 07:15 ish. Lunch was ayam penyet accompanied by snacks that mba ai bought. Off to harkit at 14:05 (bcs my laptop somehow shut down and i lost all the unsubmitted data). And then off to kalideres at 15:30 ish to meet up w clara and search for clothes for almira's wedding. Went to lippo bcs clar saw this dress that kinda looks like the brokat given. We ate at ramen ya. It doesnt rly make you feel full, the filliny sensation was kinda like indomie. Saw that the dress looked different. Ate 1 boba pancake together at banban. Continued on to the tailor in kebon jeruk. The location was in an alley, and it was raining lol. Quoting clara: "the unnecessary struggles". The tailor was quite helpful (and she looks experienced). Arrived at clara's at 8 ish. Picked up by mom with car (it was raining) and arrived at abt 9. Hurriedly showered and tarawih and tidied up AND ITS ONLY 09:45. Its crazy how efficient one use time (and at the same time, how wasteful one can be)

13 - first day of fasting. The morning was spent taking samples. I stupidly took a sample thats not yet labeled im sorry :(((( i felt kinda tired and wanted to give up this. Give up anesthesia. Went back home at 14:00 and its cloudy. The bus was the nicer types and it was COLD. Read quran along the way. Picked up by juan. Opened laptop. And then its iftar time. I was sooo sleey and the tarawih was so long thst i closed my eyes along the way. Fianti called after tarawih, we talked til abt 21:30. And then i fell asleep

14 - went to rscm. Submitted serkom files. Met dr dyah and i hope we could somehow meet her again if we study in fkui again aamiin. Went to rsf by mrt. Arrived in lebak bulus just before it was raining. The bus took a while to arrive (usually theyre there, waiting). Its still raining like crazy so i took grabcar to AR from pesakih (39k). Played with my phone til iftar. Played phone again after tarawih and fell asleep

15 - i felt rlyy lazy and cant bring myself to wake up. Off to rsf at 07:15. There were coordinator ppl. Took sample. It was raining when i went back but i took grabbike from kalideres. Wasted my time and did not do ecmocard

16 - sampling. Snacked on keripik pisang at the room. Went back early at 13:15 ish. Picked up by juan. Sleeeept (and this is before the nightmareish mistake began)

17 - i did a mistake by telling dr retha (who took the sample today) the wrong patient (it switched in my unreliable memory. I feel terrible. Thank god shes quite chill abt it (?). Read jujutsu kaiseeen. Went to flavola. Did 1 ecmocard. Went to bandar jakarta baywalk by motorbike. Spent 135k and was quite full with many varieties. Arrived home at about 20:50. Turns out juan also had bukber with his friends. Phone call with fiiii, talked abt dimrob

18 - lazed all day, read jjk, finished my part of ecmocard (gave genky to ekal cause i was a dumbass at getting data). Ate mom's mentai rice, siomay. Drank green tea latte. Read jjk til 145 (mentok) at night. Proceeds to consume all things jjk lmaoo

19 - we took sooo long to get samples. Finished at 13:00. Went to rm with dr rara. Went back home. Watched the third sinau. Read the IMMACULATE jjk fics by celestialmechanics im IN LOVEEEE with the way s/he writes ughhhh

20 - samples took faster than usual. Mba ai did not came today. Went to RM and did some work there. Off to AR by 15:00. Arrived close to maghrib. Did not do any work afterwards lmao. Did not even wash my face

21 - magang as usual. Note to self: sit on the right side of the bus. Did nothing yesterday. Felt like shit after tarawih (but i showered before maghrib!!)

22 - todays problem was the swab sample not being there even though the staff allegedly already took it. Huft. Took a shower and out on vitacid (i cant remember the kast time i put on vitacid 😳 its probably been... a week or two?

23 - samples finished quite quickly. Already going home at 12. Lazedddd and lazed and lazed. Waited for emir to pick me up so i went to dm. Read an immaculate itadori x megumi fix thats just full of feels. Started demon slayer lets see

24 - literally just laid in bed reading manga and seeing tiktok and slept again and suddenly its 1 am. Showered. Still in a lazy mode. Havent begun clires work. Watched leah's vlog that said "go do things youve been putting off!". Finally finished the third and last video of Sinau Yuk ICU class with dr. Zeta, SpAn lolll even though the actual last class was on 7th apr. iftar was fish and chips and salad yuum

25 - woke up at like 1am since i slept too much yesterday. Ate tan ek tjoan bread and drank sbux matcha latte. Did some intern work. Read a bit of quran. Sahur. Cant even sleep again so i showered. Off with mom and dad (09:30) since dad’s going to get vaccinated at skk migas. Mom drove me to ara’s place (11:00). Talked a bit and even read quran again there. Off to GI (13:00) to meet up w regen. Walked around. Bought a discounted TBS green tea facial wash. Went back home by TJ (16:00). the bus station is a bit closer now. Arrived home close to maghrib (17:30). hurriedly showered and went to sleep (properly) after tarawih. A good good sleep since i got 9400 steps today and that tired me out lmaooo (bare minimum yall, i know). 

26 - woke up still sleepy. Slept again after iftar and woke up at 07:30. Skipped shower and off to RSF lmao. Went to medical record. Walked to the front of RSF originally planning to go to lebak bulus by angkot but i saw none. So i went through mrt instead. Stopped by at kebon jeruk and walked 800 meter (that tireeed me and made me feel parched under the sun) to risma busana for clothes fitting. Took gojek to jembatan gantung (turns out the closer halte to flyover was taman kota). Iftar was chicken noodle and risol and banana and i felt fullll and i slept

27 - today is off day since im alternating with agassi. read quran. watched shadow and bone (with 1,5x speed except for kanej and matthias nina scenes). didnt rly do any magang work except the table asked by dr retha. i feel like usually im operating on 70%. sleeping more doesnt rly add that. i need caffeine or physical activity. before i know it, its close to iftar.

28 - i ((felt)) like i had a decent amount of energy today. shouldve done some work between sahur and leaving the house but i ended up reading vampire knight lmaoooo the scenes had no business bringing so much butterflies. sampling together w agassi. mba ai didnt come in today. after agassi left did some magang work. i also went to RM to ask for more RM to bu dian. took angkot to lebak bulus for the first time. paid 5k. i had no idea which angkot went to lebak bulus and the driver (somehow knowing the right words to say) said “lebak bulus lebak bulus”. didnt read much quran on the way back. i just close my eyes and relaxed. felt kinda low on sugar. watched more shadow and bone on the way back and at home until close to iftar. didnt do anything after tarawih. slept hoping i woke up early (which i did, at 3am. but i slept again)

29 - im supposed to have ample energy but i just stuck around my bed until its time to get ready to go. read some kanej fic lol. I dont rly do anything productive after arriving home

30 - made intern log, magang as usual. Did not go to rm. Finished watching shadow and bone. Rested bcs tomorrow's saturdayyy

[briefololtragedy]

Something to Stay Part 4

Sakura X Itachi

Prequel to Say anything

Itachi doesn’t like being called Uchiha-san.

Rating G

Call me by my name

It was 4:55 when Sakura rushed into the locker room to change into her scrubs for the day. She was always at least 15 minutes early, but this morning it was hard to get up. Sasuke had so many questions and worry for his brother, by the time she go to answering all of then it after 11pm and she wanted to crash into bed, which she did the moment she got home. Shower be damned!

Her alarm woke her from sleep at 430, apparently she snoozed it at 4am. Next thing she knew she bolted out of the bed, almost tripped on her bedding that was now on the floor of her bedroom. When she says almost tripped, she means full on face plant to the floor. A quick shower to wash of the hospital grim just for it to be replaced by a new layer. There was no time to dry her hair, which she put into a quick messy bun. Looking in the mirror after throwing on a simple pair of skinny jeans and oversized T-shirt with a bowl of ramen on it, she noticed the bumps on her face and the slight break out she has gotten due wearing surgical mask so long yesterday and only eating cookies. Looking at her watch, it was 445, the time she normally got to work. She grabbed her Toms and ran out the door.

Sakura made it to handoff just as the clock hanged to 5. Kabuto looked smug. “You look like a walking disaster this morning. Try to put yourself together before seeing patients. We don’t want you giving them a heart attack with how dreadful you look.”

Sakura found herself having to count to 10. She could not punch Kabuto, in the face multiple times, it would be unprofessional. She was sure he was upset with her getting to assist yesterday. They had 20 patients to cover. Kabuto took 4 and split the rest between her and the other intern. Anticipation and worry came to her briefly, knowing that she would have to take care of Itachi. She hoped Sasuke and his parents got what ever peaceful rest they could obtain. She heard the nurses complaining how Fugaku demanded them be able to stay past visiting hours to see that Itachi’s needs were being meet. She planned to pre-round on him last, so she could make a quick escape to meet before the formal rounds with Dr. Senju.

She finished going through the charts of her other patients in record time and able to quickly examine them with no problems. She had a couple appendectomies, cholecystectomies, and hernia repairs. She had one hernia repair who tried to get a little to handsy when she was examining his abdomen. Sakura made a mental note to have a nurse with her the next time she had to be in the room with him.

She had 20 minutes before she had to meet with her team. She planned on taking 5-10 minutes to quickly check on Itachi and then get coffee. She already downed her first cup when she was sitting in front of her computer. Sakura also didn’t care to fix her appearance, aside from her dark circles, she looked presentable. She wasn’t here to appeal to the male sex, she wanted to learn and follow in the footsteps of Dr. Senju.

Hana quickly gave her a report on how Itachi was doing. He had woken up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep after some pain medication was given. His family had left before he fell asleep, which came to be a relief for the nurses working. He was still resting this morning.

Sakura took a deep breath, gently knocked on his door. Hearing no response, which she expected, she entered.

Many years have gone by since she last saw the oldest son of Mikoto and Fugaku. From what she remembers when she was 11, he was a tall, dark, intimidating force. He once snuck her some dango that Sasuke didn’t want following her punching him in the face. His parents weren’t happy with her. She had ran off into their gardens after the incident.

This man laying on the bed sleeping was not the picture that she carried with her all these years. He looked paler than normal, his lines under his eyes were more pronounced, IVs in both his arms, and the IV poll on his right side. His heart tracing looked steady, no arrhythmias. Oxygen saturation was perfect. His breathing pattern and heart rate on the lower side confirmed he was in a deep sleep.

“Uchiha-san, its Dr. Haruno. I will be taking a quick listen to you and then will want to look at your surgical incision.” She had placed on her hand on his left arm, gently trying to get him to stir. She then went about assessing him this morning.

It was now time to look at his incision and knew she would have to be more forceful when trying to get him awake. He started to stir.

“Uchiha-san, its Dr. Haruno. I am just going to check your abdomen quickly to make sure everything is ok. How is your pain?” Those words brought Itachi out of his dream world and as he opened his eyes he was met with the most color he has ever seen, bright pink and emerald. He was once again reminded of a cherry blossom field.

As his eyes started to focus more he was met with Sakura. Gone was the scrawny little thing, and now before him stood a grown women. She still had delicate features, gone was the baby fat of her face. Her hair was on the top of her head in a bun. No makeup on her face, which was a breath of fresh air compared to the other women he has come across over the years.

“I will need to bring your covers down to get access to your bandages, is that ok?” Her eyes were warm and welcoming. She had a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He didn’t answer her right away, but went to slowly push his blankets down. The slight crunch he did caused pain to shoot through his abdomen.

“Uchiha-san you should let me do that for you. It wasn’t even 24 hours ago that you have an intense surgery. I will let nurse Hana now that you will need one of your as needed pain medications.” Her voice was smooth like honey.

He didn’t even notice as she removed the bandages on his abdomen and inspected the site. She worked quickly and professionally. After she was done looking she redid his bandages with fresh gaze and tape.

“Do you need anything else Uchiha-san?” He didn’t know why she was acting so formal with him, but he could understand it. They hadn’t seen each other in years, she wasn’t even a teenager the last time they met. He couldn’t remember ever holding an actual conversation with her.

“No Dr. Haruno. Have you heard from Sasuke any?” He couldn’t help but ask.

“I haven’t heard from him since last night. Hopefully he is getting some rest along with your parents, all of you have been through a lot. I almost thought you wouldn’t remember I'm friends with Sasuke.” She had a slight smile on her face. She was staring at him and it was then that he realized it was because he hadn’t said anything in reply. Itachi got caught up staring at her eyes, those dazzling emeralds.

“Sasuke talks about you and Naruto, well as much as someone like him can… Would it be possible to get something to drink? My throat feels raw.” He had to kick himself for asking her about the drink, he was an absolute idiot.

“Of course. I’ll see if one of the nursing students can bring you something. They are pretty good at checking in on patients and helping out. Dr. Senju and the team will be around later, get some rest Uchiha-san.” Sakura had brought his covers up to his chest and walked out the door. For some reason her saying Uchiha-san didn’t sit well with him.

A few minutes later he was brought multiple cups of water and students more then welling to help him. it was when his nurse came in with some pain medication that they were shooed away.

Itachi didn’t know what to do with himself now. When was the last time he was idle for so long.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sakura made it just in time to get a new cup of coffee before starting rounds with Dr. Senju. It was hard keeping an indifferent face when talking with Itachi. She couldn’t help as she acknowledged how attractive he was, but she wasn’t an airhead preteen anymore. She was able to separate work and her personal life. While Itachi muddied the water some, she would be professional with him and his family when they came into the hospital.

A proud smirk made its way onto her lips as she brought up her coffee cup to her mouth. She had beat Kabuto and the other intern to the meeting spot. She only had to make it though 3 more days until she had a day off. Sunday would be a glorious day!

Jin was the second to arrive, he was one in her first year class. He stood a head and half taller then her, he had an average build, his coloring was brown hair and brown eyes. Unlike her, he had a tan to his skin. He was doing a trauma rotation, but belonged to the orthopedic surgery program.

“ Wonder where Yakushi is? I heard you got to scrub into that surgery yesterday with Dr. Senju, man is she scary! “ She couldn’t help but be irritated by his voice, it wasn’t his fault that she was having the start of a migraine.

“He should be here soon, maybe he heard about a new case for the day.” It was unlike Kabuto to not have arrived by now. At times Wednesday could be a slow day compared to the other days of the week. Starting Friday - Monday you would get the reckless injuries that were brought about by too much drinking and wanting to have a good time. A couple of weeks ago it was a party boat that capsized when too many people were on it.

“Where is Yakushi? I’m ready to round, it was a long ass day yesterday. “ Dr. Senju came up, tea in hand. She was not Kabuto’s biggest fan to start and him not being here was not a way to get off her bad side.

“Dr. Senju, sorry to interrupt but Dr. Yakushi was pulled into a surgery with Dr. Orochimaru.” It looked like the nurses had sacrificed one of the nursing student’s to deliver the message. Sakura didn’t know the name of the poor girl, but could see her shaking.

A grumble came form Dr. Senju, her lips pressed together. “ Let get started. I take it you two are carrying the majority of the patients anyway. We will round on them and then you two can finish charting. You two will be up for first assist on the next surgery. Decide among the two of you who will take it when it comes.” She then started walking down the halls.

Rounds were lightening fast. It was decided that Jin would take the first surgery of the day since Sakura got the one yesterday. Jin vanished to do his work, while Sakura took to sitting at one of the empty computers at the nursing station. The gossip from the nurses would put Ino to shame. ‘notes and then lunch.’

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Shisui leave Sasuke alone. “ How many times did Itachi have to stop those two. Sasuke had gotten back at Shisui for giving his cell number to some of the nurses. Sasuke’s phone wouldn’t stop going off. In retribution apparently Shisui’s Instagram was hacked and was announced that he was undergoing treatment for multiple STDs, his prior conquests were not to happy about the announcement.

Shisui had come with food from Mikoto. Sadly he was unable to eat it due to being on clear liquids. The aroma itself was making Itachi’s mouth water. Itachi refused to let either Sasuke or Shisui eat his food and made them put it in the mini fridge in his room.

“I heard you have little Sakura-chan overseeing you. Aren’t you a lucky dog. Sasuke I don’t know how the two of you never got together even for a night.” Sasuke looked ready to attack. Itachi wasn’t aware that his cousin knew Sakura. Shisui initially worked for the family law firm, but then branched off with itachi to do pro-bono work. He typically got in later then Itachi and stayed to close up the office, where Itachi opened it. Shisui had guilt from not being to the office sooner he may have been able to prevent itachi getting shot.

“Uchiha-san I have come to check on you quickly. Sasuke-kun said that you may be in pain.” Sakura was at the door, her presence stopping the inevitable match between Sasuke and Shisui.

Sasuke looked annoyed and Shisui straightened up. Itachi could already tell Shisui was putting his best flirting face on. “Sakura-chan I have to ask if it hurt?” Sakura looked at Shisui annoyance spreading on her face.

“Shisui we have had this conversation before and I’m not currently in the mood to put up with your ridiculous pick up lines.” Sasuke was annoyed he knew his cousin was doing this to get on his nerves. He and Naruto made it their mission to make sure the guys wanting to date Sakura where fully screened, much to the annoyance of Sakura. She had to keep most of her relationships a secret, unless they were creeps. The creeps she held no remorse for when the two idiots chased them away. Just because they watched out for her didn't protect her from having her heart broken a few times, before she decided to focus solely on her training.

“Come on lets go find something to eat since Weasel here wont share his food.” It was then that Sasuke’s stomach started to grumble, he was in agreement to finding food and some tomato juice.

 After dumb and dumber left Sakura was able to speak to Itachi. “Uchiha-san I know you have been having increased pain and wanted to make sure you were doing ok. Is there anything that you need? “

“Why do you call be Uchiha-san? “ Itachi blamed it on his pain medications for having no filter.

“What am I supposed to call you? I think Shisui has dibs on Weasel. “ she looked playful, mischievous look behind her eyes. It reminded itachi of the little girl he remembered from another time it seemed.

“I would like it for you to call me by my name Dr. Haruno. I feel like my father should be in the room when you say Uchiha-san. “ Sakura couldn’t imagine anyone calling Fugaku by anything other than Uchiha-sama. His face would probably get as red of the tomatoes that Sasuke adores so much in anger.

“Itachi-san considering you are older than me doesn’t that make you an old man?” Before Itachi could reply Sakura’s stomach decided to interrupt their conversation.

‘I forgot to eat lunch again! Two appendectomies came in that Jin and her split, which was around lunch time.’ Sakura couldn’t help but be embarrassed.

“Excuse me Itachi-san, but I will leave you to get some more rest.” Itachi didn’t want her to leave. She was a breath of spring in the shade of beige room.

“My mother made me a bento and my doctor has decided to only let me have liquids. I don’t think she would mind me giving it to you.”

Sakura was speechless. Mikoto’s food was a precious commodity, one that Sasuke refused to let anyone have. “I can get some food in the cafeteria, that was made for you and I’m sure you would like to have it once you are cleared for a regular diet.”

“I’m sure my mother would make me a new one when the time comes. This one hasn’t been in the fridge long and will still be fresh. I insist that you take it. Although I do ask that you enjoy it here as a way to repay me. I could use company that doesn’t want to punch the other person in the face.”

“Well that’s an offer I can’t refuse.” This meal would be the first of many, neither of them knowing that at the time.

#itasaku #itachi uchiha #LawyerItachi #Sakura Haruno #SurgeonSakura #naruto #fanfic #prequel #part four

[virovac]

The DD-X Tournaments stories

There were two team tourneys on the old Kaijuhphile boards. A “low tier” and “high tier” monster (by fandom consensus at the time) were paired together.

I’ll post the teams for the first team tournament (in 2005). Lower tiers were placed first in teams.

Official Team-Ups: 01. Gino [i.e. Godzilla 1998] & Orga 02. Ganimes & Super MechaGodzilla (’93) 03. Yongary & Gamera (Heisei) 04. Gappa & MechaGodzilla (’74) 05. Gyaos (Heisei) & Godzilla (Showa) 06. Mothra (Showa) & Fire Rodan 07. Ebirah & King Ghidorah (Showa) 08. Gorosaurus & Mothra (SOS) 09. Pulgasari & Yonggary (Reptilian) 10. Baragon (Showa) & Megaguirus 11. Guiron & Battra Adult 12. Rodan & Kiryu (‘04) 13. Varan & Barugon 14. Brown Gargantua & Godzilla (Heisei 2 [Godzilla after powered up by nuclear sub]) 15. Mechani-Kong & G-Force Moguera 16. Mothra Larva (Showa/Heisei) & Gamera (Showa) 17. Manda & Irys 18. Gigan & Battra Larva 19. Baragon (GMK) & Space Godzilla 20. King Kong & Grand Ghidorah [ ROM trilogy King Ghidorah] 21. Titanosaurus & Hedorah 22. [Ogra from Gorgo] & Cykor [from Reptillian i.e. Yong 23. Kumonga & Biollante 24. Jet Jaguar & Destroyah 25. Anguirus & Death Ghidorah 26. Reptilicus & Godzilla (Millenium) 27. Godzilla Junior & Megalon 28. Green Gargantua & Jiger 29. King Seesar & Godzilla (GMK) 30. Kamacuras & Zigra 31. Viras & Legion 32. Gabara & Mothra (Rebirth)

The winners that year were Legion and Viras, defeating Iris and Manda (showa)

beating  Iris (Gamera 3)

and Manda (showa)

Three Daiei kaiju in one match!

Now, the second team tournament takes some more explaining. Its a long one.

The teams  ended up being sometimes thematic that year. The “more powerful” monster was listed first this time

I redid some of the names in this list to be clearer as fan terminology changing and better dubs and subs coming around over time

GMK Godzilla and Showa Kumonga 

Space Godzilla and Rhedosaurus

Fire Rodan and Godzilla Junior [brotherss from another mother, if you are familiar with Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla 2]

Hyper Gyaos and Zedus [gamera enemies is theme here I gues]

Irys and Space Gyaos [strange varieties/mutations of gyaos]

Heisei Gamera and Godzilla ’54 

GFW Anguirus and Titanosaurus  [nicknamed Team Dino-Thunder]

GFW Kind Seesar and Toho King Kong

The One and Showa Gigan

Monster X and Showa Anguirus

ROM III King Ghidorah and Gorosaurus [King Ghidorah and his snack, as some put it]

Toon Godzilla-In-Name-Only [from Godzilla: The Animated series] and Showa King Seesar

Dagarah and Clover[field monster]  [Parasite buddies]

Gomora and Rhiahn  

King Cobra and Showa Rodan

Megaguirus and Jiger [Team Death Stinger!]

[Mechagodzilla] Kiryu and GMK Mothra  [monsters brought back from dead to fight Godzilla]

Legion and Viras [the defending champions!]

Ultraman Next and GMK Baragon

Godzilla (Kiryu) and [Ogra from Gorgo],  [two  neutral monsters both driven by a search?]

Death Ghidorah and Gabara  [both fought a heroic monster and their kid]

Something very inter got complicated by semifinals.

Super MechaGodzilla and Jet Jaguar

Dragonzord and All-Terraintula [robots used for evil despite officially being made to protect the innocent]

Showa Hedorah and Buraki [from D-Wars]

Biollante and Frankenstein [ Science abomination buddies!]

 MOGUERA and Gamera (G:TB)

Battra (Larva) and Mothra (Showa)

Orga and Megalon

Destoroyah and Varan

Showa MechaGodzilla and Cyber-GINO

King Ghidorah (Heisei) and King Ghidorah (GMK)  [Team Hydra Storm!]

Godzilla (Heisei) and Mothra (Kiryu)

Something amazing happened in the semi-finals

[Battle Master] 10:10 pm: Match 01: [Battle Master] 10:11 pm: Gomora and Rhiahn [Battle Master] 10:11 pm: vs. [Battle Master] 10:11 pm: MOGUERA and Gamera (G:TB) [Battle Master] 10:11 pm: Battlefield: Odo Island [Battle Master] 10:11 pm: Match 02: [Battle Master] 10:12 pm: King Ghidorah (Heisei) and King Ghidorah (GMK) [Battle Master] 10:12 pm: vs. [Battle Master] 10:12 pm: Grand King Ghidorah and Gorosaurus [Battle Master] 10:12 pm: Battlefield: Mt. Fuji

Grand Ghidorah pretty much has this tournament in the bag at this point. It will take a massive upset of epic proportions for him to go down now. GKG was the only one I couldn't think of a decent strategy for Heisei Ghidorah to pull out a win against. His shield and firepower are just way too much for my Hydra Storm team to win...---Orga777

And something did,

In  that match of three king ghidorahs: Radioactive fused future pets, mystical dragons, and space monster

--Grand King Ghidorah and Gorosaurus-- [Battle Master] 9:06 pm: Grand King Ghidorah Focus: Rolls 3--Will target King Ghidorah (GMK) [Battle Master] 9:06 pm: Grand King Ghidorah Attack: Rolls 23--HIT! [Battle Master] 9:06 pm: King Ghidorah (GMK) Defense: Rolls 52--Unsuccessful [Battle Master] 9:07 pm: Gorosaurus Focus: Rolls 3--Will target King Ghidorah (GMK) [Battle Master] 9:07 pm: Gorosaurus Attack: Rolls 07--HIT! [Battle Master] 9:07 pm: King Ghidorah (GMK) Defense: Rolls 78—Unsuccessful

Special Rules: Monster Guardian of Yamato - If one of the other Guardians of Yamato (Baragon [GMK] or Mothra [GMK]) has been DEFEATED in the tournament, King Ghidorah may draw upon its energies to re-roll his first MISSED HIT and increase his own PN by +10..If BOTH other Guardians have been defeated, he is allowed two re-rolls and a +20 increase to his PN.If King Ghidorah is the LAST GUARDIAN remaining in the tournament, he is allowed a final all-out attack when he is defeated, drawing upon the energies of all three Guardian spirits to try to annihilate his enemy. On a roll of 1-2 on a d6, the attack is successful but BOTH KING GHIDORAH AND HIS OPPONENT vanish from the battlefield AND THE TOURNAMENT.

[Battle Master] 9:11 pm: Monster Guardian of Yamato Focus: Rolls 2--Will target Grand King Ghidorah [Battle Master] 9:12 pm: Monster Guardian of Yamato Final Attack: Rolls 1--SUCCESS! [Battle Master] 9:12 pm: Both King Ghidorah (GMK) and Grand King Ghidorah have been removed from the tournament

[Battle Master] 9:07 pm: After 2 rounds, the damage is: [Battle Master] 9:07 pm: King Ghidorah (Heisei) and King Ghidorah (GMK) - 0/GONE [Battle Master] 9:07 pm: Grand King Ghidorah and Gorosaurus - GONE/1

King Ghidorah, the heisei version then killed Gorosaurus over the course of three rounds, with even Gorosaurus’s attempts at playing guerilla warfare failing.

But after that there was a question: Who would be (Heisiei) King Ghidorah’s partner?

Now, those of you who read the transcripts may have noticed that GMK Ghidorah sacrificed himself to destroy Grand King Ghidorah. This means he is out of the tournament. The question immediately arose, "who will replace him?" Gorosaurus was immediately suggested as a replacement. This might have seemed like a silly suggestion, but we all really like Gorosaurus. Furthermore, he got to the semi-finals, and was the last member standing of his team. We figured he'd be more worthy than any of those schmucks who didn't make it past inclusion voting. So, here is the final matchup: [Battle Master] 9:26 pm: The final match of DD X-2 will be... [Battle Master] 9:26 pm: King Ghidorah (Heisei) and Gorosaurus [Battle Master] 9:26 pm: vs. [Battle Master] 9:26 pm: MOGUERA and Gamera (G:TB) [Battle Master] 9:27 pm: Battlefield: Infant Island Gorosaurus LIVES!

The version of King Ghidorah created by time traveling terrorists who strangled Godzilla till he foamed at the mouth.

with Gorosaurus, the plain looking dinosaur created for a movie adaptation of the King Kong Rankin-Bass cartoon, whose suit happened to be lying around for the big monster crossover movie...where they paralyzed King Ghidora with a sneak attack from behind

(His uh, wings and tails don’t move after that.)

Up against 

MOGUERA, mecha with more firepower than Mechagodzilla

and Toto, a young Gamera in training from Gamera: The Brave

The battle was so epic I included a link to it.

Explanation though: Gorosaurus’s “Terrain Master” rule allows them to possibly make an extra surprise attack each turn due to being a jungle predator who once snuck up on King Ghidorah. Toto, as a heroic type was given the special rule to make an attack when they first seem defeated, giving them the chance to tie the score and continue the battle.

Go read if you want, I’ll wait. 

so yeah

MOGUERA goes down from alternating attacks. Toto was outnumbered. Little plucky guy then immediately takes out Heisei Ghidorah, leaving him and Gorosaursau

But Gorosaurus has been using extra attacks to target Toto the entire match, like the Sharptooth going after Littlefoot.

Now though, in the final round they start giving him buffs

[Battle Master] 9:22 pm: 54 - (Original Godzilla) - The kaiju manages to surprise its foe with an unexpected attack. Regardless of whether this roll is a HIT or MISS, the kaiju [Gorosaurus] may immediately make ANOTHER Attack Roll. [Battle Master] 9:27 pm: Terrain Master Bonus Attack: Rolls 56--Miss--Primal Number! [Battle Master] 9:27 pm: 56 - (Godzilla, KotM) - The kaiju's furious assault causes it to swell with power. Any Wounds it has already received are REDUCED by 1 to reflect the kaiju's renewed strength. [Battle Master] 9:27 pm: Gamera (G:TB) Attack: Rolls 90--Miss [Battle Master] 9:27 pm: Gorosaurus Attack: Rolls 02--PRIMAL NUMBER! [Battle Master] 9:28 pm: 02 - (GMK) - The kaiju unleashes an attack of hideous power, instantly dealing D3 wounds on its enemy. However, so great is the toll this attack takes that the kaiju must FORFEIT ITS OWN NEXT TURN. A 3-sided die is rolled to determine how much damage its opponent receives. [Battle Master] 9:28 pm: The roll is 3. Gamera (G:TB) has been dealt 3 wounds

Gorosaurus has dealt three wounds to Toto who already has two. And gorosaurus already healed one wound. There is no way for Toto to roll dice in a way so as to tie so as to continue the match

But he can still go down being spiteful.

[Battle Master] 9:28 pm: 01 - Critical Hit - The kaiju deals *2* points of damage against its opponent. This CAN NOT be defended against.

[Battle Master] 9:28 pm: Combat has concluded

[Battle Master] 9:29 pm: The final damage tally is: [Battle Master] 9:29 pm: MOGUERA and Gamera (G:TB) - 3/5 [Battle Master] 9:29 pm: King Ghidorah (Heisei) and Gorosaurus - 3/3

Yeah, no one was likely conscious by the end of this fight.

#daikaiju desumacchi #tabletop games #sorta

[learning2manage]

Frustrated today. Have bids to do. So much to learn. Work to get done. Things to teach the new handywomen. Need a damn closet option for a customer and I can’t seem to find the solution. 

So a positive to remind myself that what I am doing is working. It is just going to take a while for me to find a groove and get past this huge learning curve I am on. (like a bid to put in an attic access ladder, retrofit drawers into walk-in closet, add sliding drawers to kitchen cabinets, dismantle a mantle and rebuild and fix stone tile, contract for a custom set of cabinets with fireplace, and install under deck ceiling... all for one person..)

Letter of recommendation from a client who took my 10,000 lumen work light around to look at my painting. 

4/3/19

To Whom it May Concern

I would recommend Victoria to be your leading handywoman for any  job she believes she can do. I as a client will start by saying I’ve had multiple handy(men) come to my house over the years to give me a bid on a long to do list of projects who I then never heard back from again nor would return my phone calls let alone give me a bid. These include handymen who advertise “no job is too small for me to do”.

The first time Victoria came to my house to assess some house projects I needed done, without hesitation she fixed a toilet paper holder that I’d had fixed a couple other times from previous handymen, to find, a couple months later, the tp holder fell out of the wall again.  So far, my tp holder is still intact. Victoria appeared to be sensitive & concerned with all my issues such that it wasn’t just business but she also made it personal.  I asked her when she could get started & she gave me a date that was in the near future.

On 3/25/19 Victoria called to have me meet her at Menards to check out wall materials for a basement project. She had already spent time looking for ideas & emailing me pictures to get ideas on what I might be looking for after listening in depth of my desires that were ‘out of the box’ & would be a challenge to implement for anyone but Victoria (from my previous experience). She wanted to make sure I’d be happy with all the decisions.

On Monday 4/22/19 I rescheduled our appointment because I was grieving over having my dog euthanized over the previous week end. On 4/24/19 Victoria arrived for our appointment with a beautiful pot of flowers she put together herself in sympathy for my dog & got to work. I probably didn’t tell her how much that meant to me & I am still enjoying that pot of flowers. It proved an extremely kind gesture considering she could see how much I love flowers.

After working on my project & other peoples projects at the same time, Victoria finished with the corrugated metal walls downstairs on 4/30/19 which I was VERY pleased with. She even redid some of it that she wasn’t totally satisfied with. I am very thankful that she is detail oriented & does not try & cut corners. I was also pleased that she cleaned up after herself every day. I don’t recall that happening with handymen. On 5/10/19 Victoria started painting the basement walls & finished on the 21st . She offered to work the week end of 5/17/19 but I told her that was not necessary as she was putting in full days everyday between all of her jobs. I was not on a timeline like her client that needed to sell her home after repairs were being done by Victoria.

Victoria did finish all the other projects I had for her & I am making another list because I know she’d get them done properly & in a timely manner. I’ve never known anyone else to spend the time researching all the tasks I had for Victoria to do but she didn’t let that slow her down.

If Victoria was going to be late, she would call & let me know it was because she insisted on making another client happy even though it would take longer than anticipated.

I now consider Victoria more than merely my handywoman. I’ve come to find out we have a lot of common interests & work ethic.

Sincerely, M

#handywoman

[itisannak]

Friends or More (Ashton Irwin Fluff)

Summary: Ashton bumps into an old friend while he is back home for Christmas.  Based on Love Prompt #51: "What if I told you I've been in love with you since we were kids?"  (I don't remember if this was requested.) (Words: 3k) (Part 2: Couple or More  

(Ashton's POV) My childhood room feels strange; I haven't been here in many years- well at least haven't stayed in here for a while. But I figured that since I am home for Christmas, I should stay with my family, make up for the time we are apart. I am lucky enough to have time to stand back from my life in LA and reflect. It gives my mind some peace, helps me keep myself grounded. And of course, there is nothing that makes me feel better than spending the holidays with my siblings.

I love how my mom put Christmas decorations in my room as well; I swear she was so excited when I told her I was coming home for Christmas. And now I am here, feeling mellow as I interact with them. "Ash, dinner's ready." Lauren knocks on my door, making me crunch up from my bed and stop the song that was playing on my phone. "Is it? Or is mom lying that the food's ready to bring us to the kitchen to make the table?" I ask as I walk out of the room. Lauren smirks and shrugs her shoulders, motioning for me to follow her.

We find the table laid out, a plate of saucy spaghetti and meatballs for each one of us on it along with a green leafy salad in the center. "Wow, looks great, mom." I comment as I drag Lauren's chair out for her. "Good to know you like it. I hope you know you are on dish duty after we are done." My mom giggles as I take my seat. "Yes, ma'am." I sigh. "And I will need you to pick up some stuff for me from the grocery store. You need to get out of your room a bit." She continues and I roll my eyes playfully. "I literally have been home for 24 hours and she is already piling up my chores." I joke to Harry as he takes a bite off his plate. "What? You think that because you are rich and famous you would get a pass from chores?" He says sarcastically and I shake my head, playfully disappointed at his remark. "I'll go to the market after I am done with the dishes. Anyone want anything?" I ask, taking a bite of my foot. "We'll write you a list, don't worry." Lauren jokes, giggling at the end.

With the list in hand and my earphones on, I wander around the aisles of the market. They totally redid the whole thing since I left, so I have to look around for everything on the list. The market seems relatively empty, for the Christmas season, so no one is groaning that I stall too much on each shelf. I am in this store for 20 minutes now, and yet, no one has recognized me. Well, practically, there is no one here, but still, I am glad that I can do this while being at peace. Soon though, the tap on my shoulder signals that someone has just found me. I remove one of my earphones, and turn around, plastering a smile to my face. "Ashton Irwin..." The girl in front of me announces mesmerized. She looks my age and she brings out a familial warmth in my gut. It takes me a moment of observing her face until I make out who she is. "(Y/N) (Y/L/N)... Damn... What are you doing here?" I ask her, looking at her mesmerized now. "I was about to ask you the same question. Wow, look at you, Mr. Big Shot." She comments, looking up and down at me. "I came to visit my family for Christmas. What about you?" I ask her, eyes scanning her frame. "Same. I haven't spent Christmas with them in a while." She replies, smiling warmly at me. "Me as well. Well, they visit me sometimes, but I haven't been home for Christmas in some years now." I explain and she nods like she knows exactly what I am talking about. Her eyes sparkle as they stay glued to mine. "Well, I know what you are talking about. I always thought that Christmas in New York would be way better, but I have actually missed home." She explains. "You live in New York now?" I ask her, gasping surprised. "It's a long story, far less interesting than you have going on with your life Mr. 'My band beat Beyonce and her husband'." She giggles. I chuckle and lower my gaze, scratching the back of my head as I feel a little awkward. "Yeah, it has been a good year for us." I admit and she chuckles. "I am very proud of you. Really." She says cheerfully, placing a hand on my shoulder affirmingly. "I'd better go, let you finish your shopping. It was good to see you. Merry Christmas." She waves me off before she takes a step to move away. "Wait..." I rush to let out the word from my mouth. "Yes?" She turns around to see me. "Would you like to grab some coffee after we are done shopping?" I ask her, shrugging my shoulders involuntarily. "Uh... I actually have to head home after, but I'd love to grab a beer with you tonight. If that's ok." She replies and I nod my head eagerly. "Sure... Around 9?" "Great. Wanna meet at Joe's?" She asks me, smiling at me brightly. Her smile makes her cheeks pop out and her face softens, giving her an instant glow. She looks good, truly good, even under the lights of the neighborhood's market. "Amazing. I'll see you there, then." I smile and she nods her head.

"Are you going out?" Lauren asks me, leaning on the bathroom door as I fix my hair. She takes a sip from her hot tea while looking at me, studying me to find answers. "I am meeting with an old classmate of mine." I reply, taking a look at myself in the mirror. "Oh... Who?" She asks, making me roll my eyes. "Are you serious right now, Lauren?" I ask her. "I am just asking." She raises her hands in defeat. "(Y/N)." I reply, turning to look at her. "I don't think I remember her." She states and I hum. "See? Now, if you are done interrogating me, I would like to leave." I say and she moves from the door. "What time are you going to be back?" She asks, following right behind me. "Lauren, I am supposed to act all protectingly, since I am the big brother. Now please, try not to worry about me and let me go out with my friend." I hug my sister, finally giving her something to calm her down. "Ok, you are right. Have fun and be safe." She nods her head and gives me a smile.

I wait for (Y/N) in Joe's place; I came here a solid 15-minute period early. I feel like a 16-year old on a first date and it fucks me up. I am well past that point of my life, but there is no denying of the butterflies in my stomach. They are there, flapping their little wings every time I think of her, of how she is going to look, of how she is going to laugh at my joke -if she will laugh at my jokes. I know it is not a date, and I know that she is probably seeing someone, but I still want to impress her. "Hey. Sorry I was late." She rushes to apologize as she leaves her purse on the empty spot next to her seat. "Oh, don't worry about it. I didn't even notice. You look good." I compliment her, bringing a smile to her lips. "Thank you. You look dapper, per always." She compliments me back, while she runs her hands over her romper to straighten it out. I pass her one of the menus on the table, so she can decide on her drink; I had my time to pick since I came in too damn early. "Uh... I am a little hungry and I think I will order some loaded nachos. But if I remember correctly, the servings here are huge, so there is no way I can eat all of those nachos. Sorry, I am rumbling. The question is, will you eat half the nachos?" She asks; her voice was going up and down, I could tell that she was rushing the words out of her mouth. "I could never say no to that." I reply and she nods her head. "Good to know." She mumbles cheerfully. "I am gonna go bring our drinks. What are you getting?" She asks me, shutting the menu and placing it down. "I can go..." I offer but she chuckles. "Mr. Rockstar, I was waiting tables for a living while studying, I can handle 2 drinks and a nachos plate." She states and I smirk, raising my hands in defeat. "Then I will have a large draft beer and half of that plate of nachos." I say, sitting up to reach for my wallet in my pocket and hand her enough cash for our drinks. "Yeah, no... Keep your damn money, Irwin." She giggles, walking away from our table. I watch her walk away, her steps being almost like she is dancing. It makes me smile, watching her.

She walks back, perfectly balancing the 2 drafts in one hand and the nachos in the other. "I think you are actually every man's dream right now." I comment as she walks towards me, making her laugh. "Why is that?" She asks, placing the beer on the coaster in front of me. "A pretty woman holding a plate of snacks and a beer is the dream since we were teenagers." I comment and she nods her head, smiling as she leaves the plate on the center and takes her seat. "What should we drink to?" I ask, raising my glass. I watch her purse her lips and take a moment. "To tonight. A night that 2 classmates got together after long." She replies, holding her glass up as well. "Always good with words." I comment, clinging my glass with hers. "So, we have a lot to catch up on. Ladies first." I say after taking a sip. "Well, after high school I took a gap year and worked to save some money for New York, and then I went off. I studied journalism and starting writing articles in the 4th semester. Then I took an internship at Cosmopolitan magazine and they kept me afterward, so now I am working there." She says, her cheeks turning a bit red. "You are working in Cosmo?" I ask her, surprised. "Yeah, I know. But I really like it there. Most of the people there are really nice, plus, the girls from the beauty department always give us samples to try on." She giggles, picking a nacho from the plate. "No, no, no. Don't get it wrong. I am just surprised, that's all." I explain, realizing that my tone must have gotten out more judgemental than I intended it to be. "It's ok, don't worry." She assures me, tilting her head to the side. "Where are you staying in New York?" I ask her, in an effort to change the subject. "In Brooklyn. I have this amazingly tiny apartment that I am spending 2/3 of my salary for. But it is kinda aesthetically pleasing, so I am not complaining." "In Brooklyn, huh? You look more like a Manhattan girl." I tease her. "Well, I can't afford that, just yet." She shrugs. "You are living alone?" I ask her, looking at my glass as I expect her to start talking about her relationship. "Uh... Ever since I broke up with my ex, I live alone. I actually had to move out, so..." She replies, looking at her hands on her lap. A tiny spark inside me goes off, making me light up, but her expression makes me feel bad for bringing it up. "I am sorry." I apologize. She tries to brush it off, raising her gaze to look at me. "Don't be. I mean, it was a dead-end and we are better off apart, but you know, I had to start over... Kinda." She shrugs. "I know what you are talking about. I had to deal with... something like that in the past 2 years." I sigh. "I know, I've been watching your interviews and following your Twitter, so, I know what you've dealt with." She smiles sweetly at me. I smile back, nodding my head and sighing. "Sounds just a tiny little bit of stalking." I tease her. "Come on, I was always a fan of you and your band. I even came to that show to that hotel when you first started." She explains and I gasp. "You are a fan?" I ask her surprised, and she nods. "Of course. I always believed you guys would make it." She states; I look in her eyes and I can tell she is honest about that, the way they stare back at mine and how they sparkle gives it away.

At around 12, the bar had to close. But I didn't want to end the night there. "Wanna go for a walk?" I ask (Y/N) as we walk out of the bar. "Yes, I don't want to go home just yet." She replies. "Tough time back home?" I ask her as we walk down the street. "Not really. But you know, they still treat me like I am a baby. My mom literally interrogated me before leaving the house." "At least it was your mom. I had to tell Lauren where I was going." I chuckle and she sighs. "Protective of her big brother, huh?" She asks, walking right next to me. I would be pushing the limits if I tangled my fingers with hers, but it just feels natural, so natural that I know it would be inevitable that I would have to hold myself back. So, I put my hand in my pocket, hoping that it would be enough. "I am supposed to be the protective one." I protest but she hums negatively. "That girl has seen her brother suffer a broken heart. She gets to be protective." (Y/N) replies, moving to step in front of me and face me. "Is that so?" I ask her. "Yes, Ashton. She is worried about you." She states. "Well, you won't hurt me (Y/L/N), will you?" I ask her and she bites her lip. "That's not my intention. But I am just an old friend, she worries about people you have feelings for." She replies. We both pause for a minute, and I just stare at my feet, gathering up all the courage. This is stupid, I am acting like I am 14. "Well, I have feelings for you." I let out, holding my breath as I wait for her response. "I mean romantic feelings." She sighs, rolling her eyes. "Well, what if I told you I've been in love with you ever since we were kids?" I admit and she gasps. Her eyes crinkle as she smiles, biting her lip. "Then I would tell you that I've loved you ever since we were 13 and you were my assignment partner for that physics project." She replies, staring right back at me. "Then I would tell you that ever since I saw you again, I feel like I am 15 again, and I feel that my stomach is going to explode with all those butterflies in it." I reply, moving a step closer to her. Her breath hitches, but she doesn't flinch, she doesn't move away. "And then I would tell you that I am feeling exactly the same." She giggles. "Then I would ask you if I could kiss you." I whisper and she bites her bottom lip. "And then I would ask you what are you waiting for." She replies, moving closer to me. I smile, using my knuckles to lift her chin up so that our faces are close. "I am going to kiss you now." I whisper, just inches apart from her. "Yeah, you should do that." She whispers back, standing on her toes. I close the gap between her lips and mine, feeling her lips soft against my lips. In the beginning, it is nothing but a peck, a short, rushed kiss, like we are trying to test each other. But her hand moves to the side of my face and her fingers stroke it lightly as she repeats the kiss, only this time making it last longer. My own hands move to hug her waist, hugging her close to my body. Shyly, she parts her lips for me, in an effort to deepen the kiss. I let my tongue swipe between her soft lips as I respond to her action, holding her close to my body.

After a second she pulls away, but her body stays on mine and her hands lower to the collar of my shirt. "I feel like teenage me would fucking flip right now." She giggles, looking at me. I stroke her cheek, my thumb lowering in front of her lips for a moment, so I stroke them too. "I wanna kiss you again." I state and her face goes red, feeling warm on my hand. "Here? Aren't you afraid of being seen, or photographed?" She asks. I shake my head no, so she leans in and kisses me, smiling as she does. "What are you doing tomorrow?" I ask her after we part. "It's Christmas eve, so probably dinner with the family." She sighs. "What if you ditched the whole thing and I took you on a date?" I ask her, stroking her face. "A date?" "Yeah, like an official one. But nothing too fancy, don't worry." I explain and she nods her head happily. "That would be nice." She replies, giving me a quick peck before she tangles her fingers with mine.

My Masterlist  /  Couple or More  

#ashton irwin #ashton fletcher irwin #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin fluff imagine #ashton irwin fluffy #ashton irwin fluffy imagine #5sos #5sos imagine #5sos fluff #5sos fluff imagine #5sos fluffy #5sos fluffy imagine #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer fluff #5 seconds of summer fluff imagine #5 seconds of summer fluffy #5 seconds of summer fluffy imagine #imagine #fluff #fluffy #fluff imagine #fluffy imagine #wattpad #wattpad writer

[puppyenergy]

@rickenrolled​ you’re an absolute mad man i love you. here’s all my answers. long ass post beneath the cut

1. Who’s your favourite character from UT?

i love them all but if i had to pick one then chara

2. Who’s your least favourite character from UT?

asgore

3. Your opinion about UT fandon:

very sweet, lots of smart and lovely and creative and gay people. could do without all the transphobes and incest/pedo shippers tho but like, theyre kinda everywhere aren’t they. like flies! smack

4. What’s your favourite quote?

“you never gained LOVE, but you gained love. does that make sense? maybe not.“

5. What’s your favourite soundtrack?

death by glamour

6. Pacifist, neutral or genocide?

pacifist

7. Why did you decide to play UT?

when it came out, my first exposure to it was thru supporting a friend who had recently started a youtube channel and they did a playthru of undertale! i ended up being unable to wait for them to finish it and just went and bought the game myself so i could play it. i was just so invested, i couldn’t wait for them to upload asklghskl

8. Favourite battle?

undyne’s

9. Favourite scene?

GOD I CAN’T CHOOSE JUST ONE SCENE. fuck. you can’t do this to me.

10. Your first letter to Mettaton was:

“legs” probably sldkghsd i don’t remember

11. Your reaction when you saw Omega Flowey for the first time:

VERY SCARED. I LEGIT THOUGHT MY GAME WAS POSSESSED.

12. Your headcanon about Frisk’s gender:

they’re nonbinary but i specifically headcanon them as agender! i also rlly dig genderfluid frisk as well bc same.

13. Which UT character reminds you of yourself?

mostly frisk but also chara and also mettaton

oh and all the dogs

14. Which UT character reminds you of your best friend?

TEMMIE. we are dog and cat solidarity.

15. Would you smooch a ghost?

i already have!

16. Which UT character would be your best friend? Why?

all of them. i will befriend them all.

17. Do you remember your first killed character? Who was that?

toriel ;_; i reset & redid the entire game for her, i felt so bad

18. Did you do sth in game you regret?

killing toriel lmao

19. Which ending was your first?

pacifist!

20. Your favourite land in UT and why: (Snowdin, Waterfall or Hotland)

snowdin is my favorite... it’s just so home-y. i rlly love snow, it brings a lot of happy memories. the christmas aesthetic does as well. and it’s also where you meet sans & papyrus & all the dogs. it’s just such a happy place.

21. Your favourite place in UT and why: (Undyne’s house for example)

i just rlly love snowdin ok. every area in snowdin. i still remember my little gasp!! when i found out that the snow on frisk’s head is always a different shape every time you go thru that slide-y puzzle.

22. Your headcanon about River person’s gender:

“it doesn’t really matter.”

23. Your headcanon about one of the UT characters:

papyrus is nonbinary!

24. Butterscouch or cinnamon pie?

cinnamon!

25. Your opinion/headcanon about six human souls:

i always connect the deltarune characters to the six human souls for some reason. kris is the cyan soul, susie is the purple soul, ralsei is the green soul, lancer is the blue soul, noelle is the yellow soul, and then im not sure who would be the orange soul... ofc only one of them is actually human but that’s always an association i made asdlghsd

26. With who would you go on a date?

none of them tbh sdkglhskdlgha i would go on hangouts with them tho!

27. Marry, fuck, kiss and kill:

marry: napstablook fuck: mettaton kiss: all of them getting kisses from me!!! mwah kill: none :(

28. Do you wanna have a bad time?

no!! i wanna have a fun time. a sillay ol’ time.

29. Your favourite UT au:

there’s this one unfinished comic someone made a while ago i don’t even remember what it was called but it was about two charas or smth??? idek if that counts as an au but tbh that comic is the origin of my love for feral chara

30. Your least favourite UT au:

all of the ones where anyone is misgendered or there’s incest/pedo/abuse in it it just automatically makes it a bad au.

31. Would you want to fall into underground?

i mean, yeah. where’s the hole. i’m on my way.

32. Describe or draw your undersona:

the puppy is specific to dfta

my other undersona is dragon kid. he’s a human & monster fusion with a rough past. he’s also adopted. the cat is his sibling.

33. One reason why you love UT:

toby said Hello LGBT Community

34. One reasom why you hate UT:

frisk’s design is,, u kno

35. If you could choose one type of food from UT, what would it be?

dog salads for days!

36. Your favourite amalgamate:

snowdrake’s mother & endogeny

37. Your headcanon about Gaster: who do you think Gaster is to Sans and Papyrus? (Father, brother, uncle etc)

i like to headcanon him as their dad

38. Your opinion about bad puns:

they’re good, ok.

39. Do you draw fanarts from UT? If yes, then what do you like the most to draw?

yes i do asklghsdkgl i could probably draw chara/frisk/asriel forever and be ok with it

40. Which of human souls fits you the most?

red, baby

41. What would be the first thing you would to show to Sans, Papyrus or the rest of characters in human world? Why?

the stars!!! they’ve been wishing on rocks for too long. time to see the real thing.

42. Which song reminds you of UT or one of the UT characters? Why?

skglhslkhg i make playlists just for this tbh. i have a playlist for mettaton, chara, frisk, asriel, undertale in general, and then one for both chara & frisk. too many songs to talk about rn so here’s the most recent one i added to chara’s playlist:

https://soundcloud.com/serious-url/last-night-on-earth-2

my favorite lyric is “we are horrible but not bad”

43. Your opinion on underloid:

i. i’m not sure what that is askdlghsdk

OH I JUST LOOKED IT UP ITS UNDERTALE VOCALOID??? i’ve never listened to it before but tbh that’s real cool

44. Do you forgive Asgore for what he’s done?

no lol

45. Did you pay for Tem’s college?

I DIDNT, IM SORRY TEM... i just dont have the patience to sell all that residue

46. Have you seen any youtube letsplay of UT?

i swear i’ve seen them all now. i watch them when i need some free serotonin. u_u

47. Do you listen to any fanmade songs? If so, then which are your favourite?

i don’t rlly listen to any but i have a few saved! i rlly love the fucking checker dance & death by glamour mashup

48. What are your favourite theories?

narra!chara if you can even CALL that a theory man it’s literally canon

i also rlly like the theory that ut sans is actually from deltarune, and also maybe a darkner.

49. Who is your favourite enemy? (Not including boss monsters)

LESSER DOG

50. Do you have any headcanons about Chara’s past? (Why they hate humanity, why did they fell to the underground etc)

i think they had some pretty shitty ppl in their life until they met the dreemurrs, probably.

51. Who is your favourite dog?

DONT DO THIS TO ME,

52. What was your reaction to true lab?

fear and a lot of emotion

53. Your fabourite voice acting:

myself sakldhgklsh

54. At the end of pacifist run did you stay with your friends or did you come back to your family?

i always send frisk to stay with toriel bc as their player guardian i would not feel comfortable with myself if i just left a child stranded on their own. it was the same in oneshot. if i’m ur temporary game dad then i’m leaving u in a safe place before the game ends ok.

55. Who is older - Sans or Papyrus?

sans

56. Your OTP(s):

OK LISTEN. GOATBUN,,

also ALPHYNE

57. Your NOTP(s):

any of the incest/pedo ones. especially with fr4ns & ch4sriel i’m gonna get real stabby.

58. Your BROTP(s):

chara/frisk haa

59. Your favourite puzzle:

i like the shooty spaceship ones!

60. Which battle was the hardest for you?

fingers in his ass.... fingers in his ass.... asgore he likes b

61. Did you still hate Flowey after you discovered his true indentity?

i never hated flowey, ok. and also no.

62. The saddest moment:

“the next day.”

“the next day.”

“...”

“the human died.”

63. Which ending is your favourite?

true pacifist, pls

64. How old do you think Frisk is?

9, maybe? i always change my mind on this asdlghsdk. they’re just a baby. age is baby.

65. Any post pacifist run headcanons?

both chara & asriel get revived. always.

66. Your favourite NPC:

the trans woman lionness npc who mettaton gives his dress to

67. Humans or monsters?

both!

68. The funniest situation:

my brain is failing me but i fucking love the idea that frisk is just walking away from undyne during her battle sequence and she’s just CLANK CLANK CLANK in her armor stomping after but ugh has to stop and wait while frisk gets a phonecall and UGH has to check on sans who fell asleep at his post.

AND UNDYNE’S HANGOUT

UGH JUST UNDYNE IN GENERAL I LOVE HER

69. Skeletonfucker, robotfucker, goatfucker or kinkshaming?

listen i KNOW i said i’d fuck mettaton but i’m NOT a robotfucker.

70. When playing for the first time how many candies did you take?

one! i wanted to be a good boy.

but then i just went ham,

71. Did you kill or spare Flowey at the end of the game?

spare and i got emotional with how he reacted

72. If you had to be one of the main characters, which would you choose?

73. If you had to kill one of the main characters which would you choose?

i wouldn’t kill any of them!! i love them all. i refuse.

74. Which character(s) would you like to cosplay?

HMM. i could probably pull off frisk the best.

75. Your favourite Burgerpants’ quote?

#i can't believe i actually answered them all #long post #.txt

[cheeringsloth89]

20 Things About Me

1. I share a name with two of my cousins on the same side of my family.

2. I could have been Autum Dawn. Thank you mom for vetoing that one, really though, thank you, thank you, thank you!

3. I want to be a mom some day. Despite hearing some interesting and scary stories about pregnancy I still want to experience the miracle myself. Pain and all.

4. I will not eat seafood at all, except for the little bit of crab in rangoons if it’s even in there and not imitation. I also will not eat grapefruits, honey dew melon, or mango among some other things. I can be a bit of  a picky eater but I would say I’m not too picky.

5. If I’m needing some comfort food I will make spaghetti, put cold Dorothy Lynch on it and parmesan cheese and eat it. Yes, I know it’s weird but it is so so good and now I want some.

6.Peanut Butter pickle sandwhiches are actually really good if you like pickles and peanut butter separately you should try them together. Seriously, don’t knock it until you try it. It’s another one of my weird comfort foods.

7. If I could still dress up and go to prom I totally would. I love wearing frilly dresses and being a girly girl but I’m also down for wearing sweats and a tee or hoodie.

8. I have five aunts and five uncles plus countless other friends who’ve become family who I have called aunt or uncle over the years.

9. I’m loving the sunflower and red roses combination. Growing up my mom and one of her friends redid the kitchen to green and yellow with a sunflower border and decor. I have such fond memories, so I’m a little attached to sunflowers.

10. I cannot bring myself to watch horror movies by myself. Even if I watch them with someone I think about them for days and I’m constantly looking over my shoulder. They make me a little paranoid so I generally just avoid them. Hahaha, yeeeeaaaaah..... 

11. I have had both dogs and cats. Buddy, Jigsy, Abby, Cubby, Nevaeh, and Rowan for doggos. Pia, Boots, Scamper, Kit Kat, Skye, Itty Bitty, Raleigh, and Riggs for kitties. Steal my name ideas if you’d like, I don’t mind.

12. I wish I could dance and sing better. I just cannot get the hang of dancing! It’s so much fun though.

13. I have watched This Is Us on Hulu and I cannot wait for the new season to come out! Gah! It’s crazy to me how stories can draw a person in so well! We are so close to the new season: September 24, 2019!

14. I listen to a lot of different genres of music, some older and some newer and some from in between!

15. Poems written by me are here: https://allpoetry.com/RenewedSoul93

16. I used to twirl my hair around my finger when going to sleep at night. I would twirl until it got caught around my finger and then I would just pull and in doing so I created a bald spot that has never grown hair back in and probably never will.

17. I like tattoos but I have only 1 tattoo that is my dad’s signature from a card he and my mom gave me. It’s on my wrist. I plan on getting more tattoos at some point.

18. I was part of the 2nd largest tornado in the history of the United States. I was 10 at the time and we had just started summer break. The Hallam tornado happened on May 22, 2004 and was 2.5 miles wide. The tornado spanned across 5 Nebraskan counties, with winds reaching speeds of 200 MPH.

19. I want to travel and have even more adventures in my life than what I have already had.

20. I am trying to grow in my writing experience and some day I would like to write a book. I love prompts.

#aboutme #tornado #poetry #poems #writer #growth #hairproblems #music #spaghetti #ThisIsUs #dorothylynch #peanutbutter #pickle #cats #dogs #kitties #puppies #animals #pets #names #tattoos #signature #comfort #dressy #dressdown #makeup