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probably-writing-x · 1 year

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This Too Shall Pass

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: You and Rafe didn’t work anymore, you’d tried and you’d failed. But it was a tough pill to swallow when you were sure this was forever.

Warnings: Just a whole lot of angst my loves

Author’s Note: This is way too sad, I’m so sorry

Not my gif

Rafe knew how it felt to lose things, to lose people. He knew the feeling, he knew how to suppress it until it eventually went away. It wasn’t that he knew how to properly cope with loss, but he knew how to avoid coping. Whether it was drink, drugs, or girls, he knew how to avoid dealing with things. This time felt like an exception. This time, he’d lost you.

The two of you had been dating on and off for two years since school. You’d argue and split up, bicker and decide you weren’t good for each other, but everyone knew that you always went back to each other. You forgave him, and that was something he didn’t get from anybody else but you. But this time was too far, in the past few months he had become a completely different person - he was chasing a high that he wouldn’t find, getting into fights, threatening the Pogues. It was spiralling and it didn’t seem to stop.

And you just couldn’t do it anymore. You’d tried, anybody could see that you’d tried. You’d opened the door to him after he’d disappeared for a week without contacting you, you’d given him a place to stay when he didn’t want to be at home, and you’d cleaned up his wounds after a fight with the Pogues. You’d done it all. But it got to a point, a breaking point. And you couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t keep being his safety net. So, you’d ended it.

That was a month ago now, and to say you had found it easy would be an understatement. Your friends had rallied around you, Sarah bringing you ice cream and telling you that her brother didn’t deserve you. You’d done all you could to avoid him on the island, not going to parties and shutting yourself off from the friends you used to share with your boyfriend. Anything to avoid him, right?

But Sarah had called you over to hers tonight, saying it was an emergency, and for some reason it felt like a welcome home to be going back to the house you’d spent so many nights at.

You knock on the door and step back, waiting anxiously for the house to open up.

“(Y/N)?” It’s Wheezie on the other side of the door, “What are you doing here?”

“Hey,” You smile, having missed seeing the girl that you treated like your own sister, “Sarah asked me to come over, she said it was urgent.”

She frowns at you, “Sarah’s at John B’s. She hasn’t been here since yesterday.”

A lump forms in your throat almost instantly, like the pieces of a puzzle clicking together. And the last piece falls into place as soon as you see the body stood behind Wheezie, just coming down from the stairs. Your breath catches in your throat.

“I should go,” You force out, clenching your fists at your side to ground yourself back to the moment, trying to convince your legs to turn and get you as far away from the house as possible.

“(Y/N) please don’t,” Rafe breaks straight through to you, “Just stay.”

You’d listened to him so many times before when he told you to stay, and you weren’t sure that this time would be any different. Your eyes focus on him, taking in his form. He looks like he’s lost weight, his face looking like it has been drained of his normal energy. You’re so focused on him that you don’t realise Wheezie has left, leaving just the two of you and far too much space between.

“Can you just come in? Please?” His eyes are pleading with you more than his words do.

You find yourself obliging, stepping through the threshold and into the house. He closes the door behind you as if he’s still terrified that you could leave at any second.

~~~

You’re both in one of the multiple lounges in this house. You’re sat down on the sofa, arms crossed over your thighs like you need to close yourself off from him. Rafe is stood across the way from you, pacing back and forth across the width of the room every so often.

“How have you been?” He asks eventually, breaking the silence as if the question had been calculating in his head ever since you’d got here.

You swallow the lump in your throat, “I’ve been okay, just keeping busy I guess. You?”

He goes to respond stops himself, trying at it once more before eventually saying, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this, (Y/N).”

“Rafe…”

“No, I’m serious. I’m not just saying it,” He shakes his head, “I’m not sleeping, I’m not eating, I’ve been getting drunk every night, nothing helps.”

“Rafe don’t tell me that, what do you want me to do?”

“Tell me how to fix it!” He raises his voice and you know he regrets it instantly, watching as you flinch at his words.

He falls silent again.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. We’ve broken up. And that’s as hard as me as it is on you, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re not together anymore,” You explain, slow in your words so that it drains all emotion away from them, “We need to learn to live without each other.”

“I don’t want to do that, (Y/N), I don’t want to live without you.”

You’re quiet, mainly because no words are good enough for this.

When you look up at him, Rafe’s eyes are brimming with tears, his lips piercing together to stop himself from completely breaking. He brings a hand up over his chin and you notice him still wearing the ring you had bought him for his birthday last year.

It breaks you. In that moment, it feels like you truly break. You were looking at a person your heart still knew that you loved, but your head was too far gone to go back to. A boy that had held your love for so long, and you had slowly been convincing yourself to let go of. A boy that knew you better than anyone, and you now had to come to terms with not knowing at all.

“Just tell me what I can do, (Y/N),” He whispers through his voice breaking, choking through a sob that he doesn’t want to release.

You’re crying too now, tears flooding down your cheeks like a reflex you were now desensitised to completely.

It draws you to each other, both hearts inevitably yearning for the other beyond what any rationality could give.

Rafe comes over to you and sits down on the couch, close to you so that your knee bumps his, he reaches out and takes one of your hands in both of his, leaning forward until your foreheads touch.

“I never wanted to lose you,” He mumbles, tears wetting his cheeks and rolling down to his lips, “With everything that was going on, the last thing I wanted to happen was this.”

You nod, swallowing the lump in your throat once again, your breath trembling when it releases.

Not a single part of you wants to pull away from him, or leave, or get out and never see him again. So you just stay like that - both taking in every piece of contact between you two that you’d been craving since you’d left.

But there’s a more rational side to you now, that you seemed to have lost when the two of you were together. Your head managed to overwhelm your heart now.

“I need to go, Rafe,” You whisper the words, worried they’ll slice too harshly if you speak them any louder.

He shakes his head, “No.” He chokes the word like it pains him to even think of it, “Please don’t leave.”

“We can’t do this again,” You reach up a hand and brush his hair away from his forehead, dragging your fingers through the shorter hairs at the side.

He leans his head into your touch, wanting to pocket every piece of it now he knows it’s temporary, “How do I do this without you?”

You smile a little, trying to soften the moment, “You’re Rafe Cameron, I don’t think there’s a lot you can’t do.”

Rafe turns his head fully to the side and kisses your palm, his lips lingering over there for a moment, longing him to kiss his way back to you.

“Is this it?”

You shake your head quickly, knowing deep down that the idea of forever away from him would always seem impossible, knowing that there was too much between you to ever fully say goodbye to, he’d always inevitably be your end, and so you say;

“It’ll pass.”

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kittyt-hexxed · 1 year

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In a Rut

Unhinged Werewolf! Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 7.6k

Warnings: HIGHLY Dub-Con, Territorial!Abby, Abby’s aggressive towards anyone who’s interested in you, Possessive behavior, Rutting, Knotting, Biting, Werewolf venom, Breeding, Rough sex, Masochism, Size difference, cervical penetration, talk of murder, Abby threatens Owen, pregnancy, running away

Summary: Your father is the leader of the WLF. Dating has been hard for you with him being so overprotective, so you don’t say anything when you’re crushing on Abby Anderson - his top fighter. Except, things spiral out of control when you go to help a sick Abby… only to find out she’s not exactly sick and you’re the last person who should be there.

Author Note: I use a few veterinary terms in here if you don’t recognize certain words. I’m including the definition of a rut for those who do not know -> Rut - an annual period of sexual activity […] during which the males fight each other for access to the females.

The barking from the WLF’s dogs greeted you the moment you walked into the kennel. Ever since your father noticed your love for animals, you’ve been the resident dog trainer and veterinary assistant. Your mother passed away during your birth all those years ago, because her body had been too weak to make it through. It was unfortunately common in those first years after the outbreak. Doctors did everything they could for women with high-risk pregnancies, but with the hysteria and stress, there wasn’t much they could do.

You took after your mother in so many ways. The main thing was her love of nature and her sweet personality. Everyone in the WLF loved you and you weren’t short on anything you needed. You have great friends, an attentive crew, and - although overbearing sometimes - you had your father. A lot of people, especially those your age, didn’t have the luxury of saying that.

“Hey, Dixon!” Ruelle waves at you from the other end of the kennel, “You taking one of them out today?”

“Ruelle, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Y/n?” You groan, stopping in front of Poppy’s cage. The female Belgian Malinois was excited to see you standing there, barking and spinning in circles to show that she was ready to come out. You giggle at her antics, widening the neck on your leash so you can grab her.

“Until your father isn’t my boss?” Ruelle stands next to you, a bag of dog food in her hands, “Poppy’s happy to see you, huh?” She questions as you open the cage and leash her. Poppy immediately hops up onto her back legs to give your face a lick.

“It’s nice to see you too, Poppy.” You giggle, ruffling her fur as she drops back down, “I haven’t had the chance to play with her in a few weeks, so I’m just as excited. She is my dog after all. And, please forget that my father is your boss. Treat me like anyone else.”

“See, I can’t do that because you’re too cute. And if I was caught having sex with you, I’d probably be the dog food.”

“Why is sex the first thing you think of?” You snort, walking towards the field.

“It isn’t for you?” Ruelle gives you a playfully confused look, making you laugh, “Anyway, I’ve got to get back to feeding these puppies. Get lunch with me later?”

“You got it!” You wave to her and head out into the morning sun. Poppy is tugging you to her favorite area of the field that you call ‘the stretch’ since it’s a long section for the dogs to run back and forth. You open the cage and let Poppy off of the leash. She sprints down the stretch before circling around and coming back to you. You grin and grab a tennis ball out of the bucket, tossing it in your hand.

“You ready, girl?” You grin at your dog, “You ready?” Poppy barks, spinning in a circle.

“Catch!” You throw the ball, watching her sprint after it. You giggle to yourself as she comes running back, eagerly dropping it at your feet. You continue to play with her for a while, watching her cues to see if she’s tired or having any issues. At some point, you end up running back and forth with her just to have fun. You shriek when she tackles you, licking your face as you laugh and roll away from her.

“You okay there, Y/n?” You hear a very familiar voice call out. Your head snaps up and you see Abby Anderson grinning at you from the other side of the cage.

“Abby! Yeah, I’m- Ack!” You’re knocked over again, your dog whining that you’re not playing with her, “Poppy, sit!” You command her. She listens and sits down, and you get up off of the grass feeling a little embarrassed.

“Sorry!” You laugh flusteredly, approaching the gate, “Yeah, I’m all good. Poppy and I haven’t had time to ourselves in a while since she’s been in the field.”

“That’s good to hear.” The smile she gives you is blinding, “Is it okay for me to come in to say hello to her?”

“Yeah, of course!” You hurriedly, unlatch the gate and let Abby come inside. You had wished to be friends when she first arrived at the compound but your father was very overprotective. You weren’t allowed to talk with her or the others that came with her until your dad knew he could trust them. It didn’t help that you’d been dealing with a crush that started a few months after she got here. So, you were relieved when your dad gave you the all-clear, but you couldn’t because you were too shy. Abby was a really fun person, always making you laugh when you were around her, and it’s a bonus that she’s your age. She knew what it felt like to be a child born just after the end of the world. You admire how much she has done over the years, watching from a distance as she worked out and trained to fight infected and Scars. She only got more attractive as time went on with her gaining her muscular physique and becoming your dad’s top fighter. Although your positions made it hard to hang out, Abby made an effort to stop by and see you when she could.

“Alright, Poppy-!” Your dog is racing over the moment you give her permission to move. She runs around Abby, barking as her tail wags around like crazy. You giggle as she keeps trying to give Abby kisses, jumping up before running around and doing it again.

“Poppy!” Abby laughs, petting her and getting her to calm down, “That’s enough. I get it.”

“She really likes you.” You nudge her, “Are you sure this is your first time interacting with her?”

“Yeah.” Abby nods, watching Poppy run around, “I usually interact with Zeta, Alice, or Bear. Zeta is the one I’m assigned to, and Alice is Owen’s usual partner.”

“How has the field been lately?” You look at her, “I noticed that my dad has been sending you out often. Are things getting worse?”

“No. Things are good. I’ve just been feeling antsy so I go out on runs when I’m not scheduled to. It feels nice to get out of the stadium from time to time.”

“Y/N! It’s time for lunch!” Molly shouts from the kennel area. You bite your lip, not wanting to end your conversation early, but you’re hungry after the exercise. You whistle and Poppy comes trotting over, letting you put her leash on without a fuss.

“Ah, I’ve got to head to lunch and put Poppy back…” You awkwardly motion to the kennel, “We can talk when I’m free?”

“Yeah, I’ll catch you later.” Abby agrees, and you nod. She walks with you back to the kennel and waits while you put Poppy away. You say goodbye to her and head for the cafeteria, wondering what the kitchen crew has made. You’re happy to find out that it’s sandwiches, sliding into the line, greeting the cooks, and asking about their day. Once you get your food, you head over to your regular table where your friends are waiting for you.

“So someone was flirting with Abby today.” Jasmine says loudly while looking at you.

“I was not!” You protest, blushing, “She was asking me about Poppy!”

“Abby hasn’t shown any interest in Y/n romantically.” Aden rolls his eyes, “She’s still interested in Owen. That conversation was nothing but friendly.”

“Were you all watching?” You huff, taking a bite from your sandwich.

“Yup!” They chorus together, making you shake your head.

“We all know you’re crushing on her. It’s okay. A lot of people are but she can’t seem to look past Owen.” Ruelle sighs.

“Am I that obvious?” You pale. ‘Oh god, does she know?!’

“No, we just know you really well.” Jasmine pats your shoulder, “Don’t worry, Abby doesn’t know.”

The whistling from the Scars makes Abby’s skin itch. The extra missions she’s been doing lately have been to take out any challengers, and what better opportunity than to use the Scars to her advantage? She would lure the Scars toward her target, allowing them to fight and get injured before jumping in and saving them. She tagged along on a run to the edge of WLF territory for one reason, and one reason only. Madeline. Another person who was trying to get closer to Y/n because they have a crush on her. Abby wouldn’t allow anyone to get closer to her girl now that she was single and Abby could move in on her. She had told Madeline to back off and warned her that if she didn’t there’d be consequences, and well… she didn’t.

Abby wasn’t above threatening people. Not when her future mate was involved. So she did what she had to do in order to get these humans to back off. Killing the Scars involved in the situation gave her an outlet for her pent-up frustrations, letting her shift and tear them apart as she forced her need for Y/n down. Her father's death left Abby as the only werewolf remaining from her pack. She thought that Owen had been the mate she was looking for, but she was wrong. When she officially met Y/n, her tail would have been wagging like crazy if she was in her werewolf form. Her scent, her voice, her personality, and the way she was so soft with Abby made her heart skip a beat.

Thanks to her enhanced senses, Abby was well aware of Y/n’s crush on her. The sweet scent that Y/n gave off around her made her head spin and her gums ache. Abby wanted to claim her, to mark her so that everyone knew that Y/n belonged to her, but she had to be patient. She worked hard to get Issac’s favor because of the rumors she heard going around about him disapproving of anyone his daughter dated. All she needed was the confirmation that he didn’t care about her being with his daughter and she’d jump at the chance. If she didn’t get it, well, she’d just have to take Y/n and leave. There was nothing tying her here. Not after the huge argument between her and Owen. Manny was her best friend - the only one outside of Owen who knew about her being a werewolf - but she knew that he’d stay here to look after his father and she respected that. Y/n was all she needed and she’d have her.

Madeline was rushed back to the compound and Abby smirked when the two of them made eye contact. She flashed her eyes at the girl, a horrified look twisting onto her face, and Abby knew she was no longer a worry. ‘Y/n should be working right now. She told me that she was working with the pregnant dogs today. It wouldn’t hurt to drop by and see her.’ Abby hums a happy tune to herself as she checks her weapons in and heads into the kennel. The dogs happily greet her as she strolls past them, overjoyed to see the Alpha back home safely. It put a smile on her face, reminding her of the first time her father showed her how their werewolf side interacted with other canines.

The sound of Y/n’s laughter puts a bounce in her step and she turns a corner to see an adorable sight. Y/n was sitting down with a litter of puppies that were climbing all over her. There was one in particular that she was pulling away from her face that kept trying to lick her. It made Abby’s heart melt and she bites her lip as she watches how tender Y/n is with them.

“Okay! Okay! Hold on!” Y/n giggles, “If you’ll let me get up, I can get your food.” One of the puppies starts nipping at her fingers, making her laugh more. ‘She’s so perfect.’ Abby sighs longingly. Y/n looks up and over at her, making Abby smile and give her a small wave.

“Abby!” Y/n brightens up, her scent immediately getting sweeter, “Could you grab the puppies’ food for me? They won’t let me get up… and I kind of don’t want to.” She coos picking one up and cuddling it. ‘She’s making this so hard on me.’ Abby groans internally but gets the food for the puppies and steps into the pen.

“I thought you were supposed to be with the pregnant ones?” Abby asks, sitting down next to her. The puppies start jumping on her, whining now that they smell the food and their hunger can’t be ignored by excitement.

“Oh! Sunny is whelping! Tilly asked me to take over for her since she’s one of the handlers.” Y/n’s eyes sparkle as she grins at Abby, taking some of the shredded chicken into her hands, “If we’re lucky, there’ll be three new additions...” Abby zones out, too distracted by watching Y/n feed the puppies and seeing how loving she is with them. ‘She’d be an amazing mother.’ Her mind drifts, thoughts of Y/n having her pups swirling around in her mind.

“Abby?” Y/n’s voice snaps her out of her thoughts. She shakes her head and notices that Y/n is blushing, clearly flustered about something.

“Sorry.” Abby clears her throat, “What were you saying? I uh… zoned out.”

“Oh, nothing.” Y/n shakes her head, “Do you want to help me around the kennel?”

“There you are, Abby!” Owen’s voice sounds out, making them look up. He had a frown on his face and Y/n awkwardly shuffles her position, no doubt having heard about the fight between the two of them.

“Issac’s calling for you.” Owen crosses his arms, “Said it’s confidential.”

“Oh, that conversation.” Y/n seems to sigh in relief, “He wanted to go over some things with you. He wouldn’t tell me what, as usual, but I guarantee you’re not in trouble. He’s probably going to request that you marry me if you keep making him so proud.” She jokes, but that strikes a chord in Abby’s chest. ‘If only that were true…’

“I’ll come back after if you still want my help?” Abby asks as she stands up.

“I’d like that.” Y/n smiles, “Tell my dad I want you back in one piece.”

“Will do.” Abby nods. She silently walks with Owen out of the kennel and makes her way into the main building. Out of nowhere, Owen shoves Abby into an empty room and slams her into the wall.

“Owen, what the fuck?!” Abby shouts, shoving him off of her.

“No, Abby! What the fuck are you doing?!” Owen shoves her back, “I don’t know what you’re trying to do with Y/n, but this has to stop!” Abby snarls, her eyes glowing as she grabs Owen and slams him into the wall. He chokes as she presses her arm against his throat.

“I’m not doing anything to Y/n, except being nice to her. But, I will hurt you if you come between us.” Abby growls, her body shaking from the force of it, “You and I aren’t friends anymore so, take this as your only warning.” She slams him against the wall one more time before leaving the room. ‘Maybe I will have a talk with Issac.’

It seemed like Abby showed up at the kennel every free moment she had. You let her join you when you were training the younger dogs or doing things outside of the veterinary clinic. Abby complimented you on your skilled handling of them, saying that they must think of you as the alpha if they listen so well. You had stuttered out something and waved her off because that was too big of a compliment. You just spent a lot of time with them. Abby brought a different perspective to training from someone who’s out in the field with them. You admitted to her that you were impressed with how well the dogs listened to her. Even your more jubilant dogs listened to her commands, and Abby responded that she just understood them. Over time, you started noticing that the way Abby said your name made it sound like honey on her tongue. It sent shivers down your spine and didn’t help with your crush on her. Being in contact with her so often was torturous to your poor little heart. Your fingers would brush against each other when you handed her things or she’d touch your shoulder to get your attention. You’ve even had… intimate dreams about her that have you jumping for the shower first thing in the morning. You wanted to ask her out, but you were too shy to, especially after you heard Owen was with Mel.

Speaking of Owen, he was acting weird around you. Half the time it seemed like he wanted to say something to you, but decided not to last minute. There was one time he caught your friends teasing you about your crush on Abby and he looked like he got hit by a Scar. You felt your heart drop as he ran out of the kennel and it worried you. Especially when the next day, Abby didn’t show up to the kennel. You thought she might be out on a mission for your dad, but when you asked him he said no that Abby was in the compound. You panicked when a week went by and you hadn’t heard a single thing from her. So, when Manny showed up, you jumped at the chance to ask him.

“Y/n! Cómo estás?!” You hear Manny exclaim from the other end of the kennel and you give him a grin. Every time he came to collect a K-9, he had such high energy and made you laugh. The workers loved when he came in and you jokingly fight over who got to help him.

“Bein, Manny. Y tú?” You respond, putting one of the dogs back in its cage.

“Pretty good. I’m going out on a scouting run with Mel and Nora.” Manny chuckles, handing you his K-9 slip, “Your Spanish is getting better.”

“I only know like three words, but thank you.” You giggle, going to Bear’s cage, “Why are Mel and Nora going with you? Are you finally scouting out the other hospital?” You call Bear to the gate and get your leash out of your pocket.

“Yeah, we’re scouting out the hospital at the edge of the territory. The main one has almost been picked clean, but we have the bottom layers of that one to go through. Your dad wants the other one secured before we go down further though.”

“Is um… Is Abby going with you?” You ask, leashing Bear and taking him out.

“Abby? Ay, no.” Manny shakes his head, sighing sadly, “She hasn’t been feeling good this past week. She’s been locked up in our apartment with a fever.”

“Oh. It’s not bad, is it?” You frown, “A week is a long time to be sick with a fever.”

“It happened to her once when we were kids.” Manny shrugs, “Her father wasn’t concerned and she told me not to be, but I am a bit concerned about leaving her alone for three days.” You sign out Bear, waving for Molly to load their car with dog food. ‘Sick and alone for three days? What if she gets worse? What if she needs something and she can’t get it?’ You bite your lip nervously.

“I can check on her.” You offer, handing him Bear’s leash, “I don’t work too late tonight, so I can visit her after and see if her fever broke or if she needs anything.”

“Gracias, Y/n! You’re a real lifesaver!” Manny squeezes you in a hug, making you laugh.

“I just want to make sure she’s okay.” You smile, “I haven’t seen her since she got sick, so I’ve been worried.” You walk with him to the truck.

“Oh, that’s right! Abby has been hanging out with you these past few months.” Manny grins, “You’ve really helped her get over Owen. Not that Owen knows.” He chuckles.

“She’s talked about me to you?” You tilt your head.

“Si. She really enjoyed spending time with you.” You watch as Bear hops into the truck, waving at Nora and Mel, “I think she’d be happy to see you come by.”

“I’ll do that after my shift, then.” You give Manny a side hug, “Stay safe and watch out for those Scars. They’ve been pressing into our area more.” You frown. You were worried about the growing tensions between the two groups. Even your father seemed more out of it as time went on. You were hoping that the groups could come to some form of agreement, but you weren’t sure what your father would do. Abby had been going out a lot, even on unassigned missions, and someone was always coming back horribly injured. The memory of hearing about Madeline’s shattered arm still made you nauseous.

“Don’t worry. They can’t take me out.” Manny winks, hopping into the truck, “I’ll see you in a few days, Y/n!”

“Bye, Manny!” You wave, “Be a good boy, Bear!” You point at the Shepard who woofs in response. You leave and get back to work, still worrying about Abby but calmer than before. ‘I’m not the reason she’s gone. I thought Owen told her about my crush and she found it weird. Now I feel bad for not stopping by her place and checking on her.’ You sigh.

Time seemed to crawl as the day went by. The rest of the morning was spent training, then you had lunch and it was like your shift didn’t want to end. You joined the veterinarians in the clinic and assisted with surgeries, cleaning cages, and fixing up the surgical suite. They joked that you needed to be sedated because you were bouncing from chore to chore in a way to keep yourself busy. You had laughed and told them that you were looking forward to your shift ending. That only made them interested in why and they started throwing out their theories. When someone said you were going to hook up with someone in the compound, you blushed heavily and told them the truth. It didn’t help because that only made them coo at you and say that Abby was lucky she’d have a cute girl attending to her.

When your shift ended, you took your scrubs off and tossed them into the wash bin. You signed out and said goodbye to your team, and made the trek back into the compound. Some of the people hanging around jokingly cat-called you in your tank top and shorts and you stuck your tongue out at them. Being the boss’ daughter meant that people had to be careful with you. Everyone who was here from the beginning knew that he was overprotective, and anyone who dated you had been called into his office at some point. You found it annoying, but there wasn’t anything you could do about it. Sometimes you fantasied leaving Seattle and running away to somewhere else, but that would require you to find someone who wanted to do that with you in the first place. ‘Maybe Abby would want to? Pfft, probably not. She’s my dad’s favorite warrior.’

You stopped by your apartment, greeting Ruelle before showering and getting changed into something more comfortable. You were planning on being there for some time to make sure she ate, so you went with sweats and a comfy t-shirt. With a cheeky grin from Rue and a roll of your eyes, you left the apartment and headed for Abby’s end of the building. Since she was your father’s top runner, she was given a room in one of the more private areas of the compound. When you questioned your dad about it, he said that it was a good way to keep loyalty and reward it. If others see that Abby was getting better space, more access to things, and even your father’s confidence… that would encourage others to do the same. Manny was rooming with her because Abby requested it, and he was taking advantage of it from what you heard. ‘Here it is… and here we go…’ With a deep breath, you knock on the door, “Abby? It’s Y/n.” You wait for what feels like forever before the door opens, Abby partially hiding behind it. Your eyes widen when you see her. Instead of her hair being in its usual braid, it’s cascading down her back in long, messy blonde strands. Her face is flushed, her eyes dilated and slightly foggy, and her lips look swollen as if she’s been biting at them. All she was wearing is a t-shirt and a pair of boxers.

“Y/n.” Abby’s deep, husky voice makes your breath hitch, “I… didn’t expect you to stop by.” She glances down the hallway before making eye contact with you.

“Manny told me you were sick, so I wanted to come to check on you.” You smile at her, “If you’re okay with it, I’d like to hang out until you go to sleep. I want to make sure you have someone here with you in case something happens.” Abby stares at you for a moment, making you swallow nervously. She blinks and shakes her head, hesitantly stepping back into her apartment with an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. It’s not good for you to be here. Thank you for stopping by, but you should go.” Abby rushes out and goes to close the door.

“Wait!” You shout, slamming your hand against the door to stop her, “I don’t want you to be by yourself when you’re sick! Call me stupid, but I care about you and I don’t want you to-!!” You’re yanked into Abby’s apartment, taken by surprises as you’re whirled around and slammed into the door. ‘Holy shit!’

“Abby?!” You gasp, looking at her with wide eyes. She’s got you trapped between her and the door, staring you in the eyes with a hungry look.

“Damn it, Y/n.” Abby growls lowly, “You really want me to fuck you senseless, don’t you?”

“O-Owen told you about my crush?!” You squeak, feeling your face burn. Abby’s lips are on yours without a response, her arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you to her. It takes you a second to realize that she’s kissing you, but you’re kissing her back just as needily as you do. She lifts you off the ground, making you wrap your legs around her and you feel something press against your crotch. You’re carried over to her bed, breaking the kiss briefly so Abby can lay you down, and she’s on top of you the moment you are. You were a little embarrassed that a kiss was making you feel so hot, but her tongue in your mouth and the bulge in her pants rubbing against you was doing it for you.

You feel her hands at your waistband, tugging your pants and panties off at once and leaving you exposed to the cool air. You push her back and take a deep breath to get the air back in your lungs. In that short time, Abby takes off her shirt and has you salivating at the sight of her muscles and abs. She pulls you up and takes your shirt off, growling in appreciation at the sight. You let out a small groan as she rolls your nipples between her fingers, getting another growl from her. When you open your eyes, you gasp at the glowing gold that used to be Abby’s blue irises.

“A-Abby?” You stutter, grabbing her wrists, “What happened to your eyes?”

“I’m a werewolf.” Abby’s voice comes out rumbly, “And you have no idea how long I’ve been thinking about you like this. How long I’ve been trying to get you to mate with me.” She kisses your neck, making you tilt your head back.

“Mate?” Your eyes widen as she hums in response, too busy kissing down your body to give you a proper one, “Abby-” She huffs and looks up at you, making you swallow. Her eyes are dark with lust and you can see her impatience as she takes off her boxers. You’re not sure what sound comes out of your mouth as her penis springs free and you get an eyeful of it. ‘That’s not something a human has.’ You think in shock. Her penis is huge, definitely bigger than a normal human’s, and leaking strands of precum. It’s a soft pink as it pushes out of its sheath and your breath catches in your throat. ‘She wants to put that in me?’ You blush furiously.

You open your mouth to say something but Abby’s back to kissing you. This one was rough and desperate, meant to distract you from the impending intrusion and it almost does. Abby’s cock head is hot and very slick when it touches your slit and you’re aware of every inch as she pushes into you. She’s hot, making your pussy feel warmer than normal while easing the ache you had. A whimper leaves your lips as she stretches you out, moving a little to get a feel for you.

“God.” Abby groans, rotating her hips, “So soft. So wet. So breedable. I need to get my pups into you.” She mumbles by your ear, grabbing your hips in her hands. ‘Pups?!’

“Wait, wait, wait- Abby!” You gasp as Abby thrusts into you and hits your cervix. With a deep growl, Abby starts fucking you like you’re a bitch in heat. Her thrusts are punishing, driven by her instincts, and done with the purpose of breeding you. You couldn’t say that you didn’t like it because you absolutely did. It was pleasurable to you, especially as Abby groans out how you’ll be the best mate and she’ll take care of you and your pups. She had you digging your fingers into her thick muscles to support yourself as she drilled into you.

Surprisingly, your orgasm rose steadily and you were moaning out her name as the pressure became unbearable. A few more thrusts resulted in you cumming, your pussy squeezing her cock as tight as it can and making the pleasure spike. You let out a strangled moan it mixing with a shout as a sharp pain burst from within your abdomen. You feel Abby sink in deeper, startling you as something pushes against your slit, stretching you a tad wider than comfortable. The sting lasts for no longer than thirty seconds before whatever it was pops into you. Abby growls, opening her mouth and allowing you to see her large fangs before she’s biting into your shoulder. You scream as the spot where she bit you burns as if you poured hot oil onto your skin. A cool tongue bushes other the area but you thrash around as the burning feeling travels up your arm.

You weren’t sure how long you had blacked out, but when you came to you met Abby’s golden eyes. Your gaze went down to where you and Abby were attached in shock. ‘She knotted me.’ Your mind started racing as a deep blush crossed your cheeks at the realization. Abby intended on getting you pregnant and as you’re able to process what she said, it’s something that she’s been thinking about for months.

“Are you okay, baby?” Abby looks at you in worry, her hands rubbing your hips to get your attention, “You’re quiet.”

“...Why me?” You whisper, “Why mate me?”

“I fell in love with you.” Abby’s eyes soften, “I knew you liked me, but I wanted it to be your decision to approach me. And, honestly, what’s not to love about you?” She starts rambling about everything she likes about you and it has you in awe. The two of you talk for hours, too deep in conversation to realize that it’s okay for the two of you to move apart. You didn’t expect to get with Abby like this, but you talk extensively about what’s going to happen when you get pregnant - because Abby refused to think that you wouldn’t be getting pregnant. What were your plans? What future did you imagine? What kind of parent would you want to be?

Two weeks later, you were early to the kennel so you could take Poppy out. Abby’s bite had turned you into a werewolf, causing her eyes to go red while yours presented gold. She had taken the time to explain everything and try to help you acclimate to the changes. You were surprised to find out that you could understand the dogs way better. Their whines, barks, growls, and even their silent cues. Poppy had freaked out, knocking you over in her excitement when she realized that you were like her. She did the same thing when Abby showed up and she connected the dots that you were mated. You had dissolved into giggles as she jumped between licking you and your mate and sprinting up and down the stretch. Zeta - Abby’s dog - did the same thing.

Poppy was sitting by the door when you got there and she yipped happily. You smile to yourself, opening the cage and taking her out. You were surprised by how affectionate Poppy was with you, especially when you were sitting down on the grass. She was quietly laying there with her head nuzzled against your stomach. It didn’t even occur to you that she was pointing out that you were pregnant until a week later. You woke up heavily nauseous one morning, too dizzy to get out of bed, and sobbed to Ruelle to help you to the hospital wing. She carefully supported you to the hospital where Nora was the one to receive you.

Nora asks you how you were feeling and you told her. She nods her head and writes it down before starting to question you. You go through them pretty quickly, but freeze when she asks if you’ve been sexually active. You slowly nod your head and she raises an eyebrow at your reaction.

“Y/n…” Nora says cautiously, “Could you be pregnant? When was your last cycle supposed to be?”

“Last week.” You smile sheepishly, “It’s consistent. No irregularities.”

“And you had unprotected sex within the last four weeks?”

“Yeah.” You say, your voice going up in pitch from embarrassment.

“Okay, I’ll have you take a pregnancy test.” She motions to the closed door to your right, “I’ll take a small amount of your blood, and I can test it here. Since you’re still feeling nauseous, you can rest until it’s ready.” You nod and she does what she says. You lay down and end up falling asleep only to be woken up by Nora softly calling your name. Thankfully, as you sit up, your nausea is gone so you’re able to focus.

“Your test result came back positive.” Nora says gently, “Do you know who the father might be?”

“Mother.” You correct her, your heartbeat picking up, “And yes, I do.”

“Who is it?” Nora asks, checking the bandage on your arm.

“...You can’t tell anyone, Nora. Please. Not even my father. Don’t even write this down in my records until it’s necessary.” You stress to her. Nora meets your eyes, concern in them as she puts her pen down.

“Okay. Confidential until you start showing, then.” Nora nods, “Tell me.”

“Abby.” You rub your hands onto your pants, “The mother is Abby.”

“Oh.” Nora blinks, “I can see why you want to keep this confidential… Okay, I can do that.”

“You’re serious?” You smile happily, relief flooding your system.

“I’m serious. Abby is one of my closest friends, and I can misdiagnose someone. Periods can be horrible for a lot of women.” Nora shrugs, winking at you. You grin at her.

When you leave the hospital wing, you pass Mel on the way in and give her a quick smile. She wasn’t your favorite person after some of the things your mate has told you. By the time you’re leaving, it’s almost lunchtime in your area so you head to the cafeteria to eat. You haven’t had anything since you woke up this more so you were starving. ‘I’ll be eating for two. This is… This is surreal.’ You think to yourself as you head down.

“Y/n!” Ruelle exclaims when you come inside. You wave at her and grab your food, pausing when you see Abby’s crew come into the cafeteria. Normally your mate’s scent would help you relax but nervous butterflies swarm your stomach instead. The moment your scent reached her, she’d be able to tell, and her finding out in front of a crowd is not what you planned. So, you rushed over to the table and squished yourself between Ruelle and Jasmine.

“Rue told us about what happened this morning.” Aden frowns, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I was really nauseous and thought I was sick. The nurse that helped me said it was just post-menstrual stuff.”

“Ugh, periods suck.” Molly huffs, “I’m so glad that mine is going to be over tomorrow.”

“Um, Y/n.” Tilly’s eyes widen, “Don’t turn around but Abby is walking this way!”

“What?” You blink, your mate’s scent flooding your nose before you feel a hand on your shoulder. You look up into her eyes seeing some red starting to creep in as she grins at you.

“Can we talk?” Abby’s eyes sparkle in joy, “Now?”

“Yeah.” You smile, getting up from the bench. Abby grabs your hand and leads you out of the cafeteria, down the hall, and ushers you into the empty music room.

“You’re pregnant!” Abby shouts, wrapping you up in a hug, “Oh, my god you’re pregnant!” She kisses you, rocking your body side to side.

“Surprise?” You giggle, “I found out this morning. I was going to tell you later, but I didn’t expect to see you at lunch today.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Abby bites her lip, “They found him. Joel… The guy who killed my father. He’s living in a town called Jackson in Wyoming.”

“Oh…” You breathe out, nervous once again. You knew about your mate’s quest for revenge but you didn’t expect this to come around so soon. ‘I’m pregnant now. What is she going to do?’

“I’m conflicted now.” Abby sighs, “I’ve been planning for this revenge for years. But, you’re pregnant and now I’ll have a family to look after. If I go and kill this man… who’s to say someone else won't come back for revenge as I did. I just- I need to know why he did it. Why my father? He wasn’t hurting anyone.”

“Why don’t we go?” You grab her hands and look into her eyes, “Instead of the whole murder plan… Why don’t we talk to him and find out what happened? Because you’re right, you will have a family to worry about in nine months. And truthfully, I don’t want to stay here. Tensions between us and the Scars are getting worse, my father is losing his mind, and I don’t want to be here when everything goes to shit.”

“So we just waltz up to their front door and ask for him?” Abby raises an eyebrow.

“What was your plan going to be when you got there? Throw a molotov into the town?” You joke, making your mate roll her eyes.

“Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Abby brushes your hair back, knitting her eyebrows in concern.

“It is. Besides, I’ll get to shift into my werewolf form and it won’t be in your apartment.” You kiss her cheek, “You deserve answers and I want to get the hell out of here.”

“Okay.” Abby nods, “How are we doing this?”

“Baby… I’m the daughter of leader of the WLF. You let me worry about getting things set up, and you just show up at the places I tell you to.” You smirk, making Abby blink in surprise, “We’re also bringing Poppy and Zeta, I hope you know that.”

“They’re part of the pack.” Abby huffs, “I’d never let you leave them behind.”

“Good.” You kiss her deeply, “Let’s get ready to leave this place.”

True to your word, you took care of it. You gathered everything that you’d need for the trip: med-kit, weapons, food, clothes, and a map. During the night, no one questioned you as you walked around or and you knew where to go to avoid people. The perks of growing up here and being able to see all of your dad’s plans made things easier. You had asked Abby if anyone else knew about where Joel was located and she said no. The informant was an ex-Firefly and she had made sure to kill the person after they told her. You had raised an eyebrow at that and she shrugged saying that she knew they didn’t have anyone else, which is why he was an informant.

You were ready to go in a week and then came the hard part of sneaking out. You gave no hints that you were leaving, and Abby was the first one to leave the compound with Zeta. She hitched a ride with some people going up to the News Station so she’d be close to the meetup point. No one would bat an eye at her heading out randomly, especially not with the high tensions going on. Your father had given her free rein, and you felt a little bad taking advantage of that. But, his mind has been consumed by the Scars. You knew that there’d be a war soon, and you didn’t want to be around when it started. You have a family of your own to protect.

The way you left was carefully planned. There was a group going up to the elementary school to visit the kids. You requested to join, saying that you wanted to bring some cheer with Poppy and they were happy to let you come. You spent the day there, talking with the younger kids and letting them play with your dog. Early in the morning, you pulled your bag from inside the truck - smirking to yourself at their stupidity - and left. The plan was to meet Abby at the highway gate and follow the road out. When you got there, your mate swept you off your feet and kissed you like you’ve been gone for years. She grumbled and complained that she was worried about you and she refused to split up again. You opened the gate as she did, slipping through and watching it fall shut behind you.

“Are you ready?” Abby grabs your hand, gently turning your face from the gate.

“Am I ready to leave my whole life behind to make a new one wherever that may be?” You grin at her, “Yes. I am.” Abby starts walking with you, Poppy and Zeta remaining as close to you as possible since you’re the pregnant one. You were nervous but you were also excited. Unlike Abby, you’ve never left Seattle. All you’ve known is that place while you heard that she’s been all over the country. Perks of being a Firefly when they were still active.

“I hope you know that I’m doing this because I love you.” You kiss Abby’s cheek.

“I know you are.” Abby kisses yours back, “You’ll really get a chance to see what being a werewolf is like. My dad and I used to run through any forests or woods nearby and go crazy. Hunting was the fun part. There’s no thrill like chasing a deer and then- I’m rambling again, aren’t I?”

“You are.” You chuckle, “But, it’s cute.”

“Are we really going to Jackson to speak with my father’s murderer?” Abby gives you a look.

“No, I just want to check out the place. I heard that they have great food.” You say seriously, making your mate snort.

“Thank you… for giving me another option. It wasn’t until I realized that I had something to lose that I… figured out revenge might not be the best approach.” Abby sighs.

“Well, now you’ll get the answers you need… and hopefully we’ll have a new place to call our home.” You smile at her.

“So really, what’s the plan?” Abby raises an eyebrow at you.

“Approach the gate and ask for a place to stay.” You shrug, “By the time we get there I’ll be… three months pregnant, maybe four if we go slow. Ask to spend a night or two, you request to talk to Joel and go from there. If we have to leave, there are thousands of houses we can stay in and make a home. Oh! We could have a farm! Let’s get a farm house!”

“A farm house?” Abby smiles in amusement.

“Yeah, you know I’m tired of the city life.” You joke, “We can raise goats or chickens, have a little garden and the girls would be excellent farm dogs.” You pause when you see Abby staring at you.

“What?” You tilt your head.

“Nothing. I’m just thinking how about many people I nearly killed to get to you.” Abby hums.

“We need to talk about that.” You huff.

“Do we?” Abby glances at you.

“Yes!” You poke her.

“It’s a werewolf thing.” Abby shrugs.

“You can’t pass everything off as a werewolf thing!” You whine. Abby stops walking, grabs your chin and kisses you.

“Sorry, baby… it’s a werewolf thing.” She repeats again, making you groan.

#abby x reader #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson smut #abby the last of us #abby tlou #hexxed monstober fic week

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azuresins · 10 months

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hey I'm not trying to get you hate but question about the poison theory... I could believe an older child could do that but why would you think a 5-year-old would? That's the part I think most people just can't get passed

I've answered this before, several times, and I'm not sure how many times this needs to be said, before people realize it's not something I'm arbitrarily making up... it's not "I believe this might happen in fiction" -- I suspected it because there have been well-documented cases of living, breathing 5-year-olds who have done this exact same thing, before. In fact, ones who have done much worse! And it was not an abuse case.

But I realized, very, very quickly, that while some people genuinely wanted to have a discussion, there were a number of people who were asking me about this, (or about asthma in general) in really bad faith? To find fault with me and put words into my mouth, paint me as someone who just hates children for no-reason or doesn't know anything about asthma. Read all of this carefully, please.

The sources and documented evidence out there, of 5-year-olds (and younger) who have killed or harmed animals, infants, are real people... and these deaths and injuries, as a result of these children and what happened to their families, are often extremely sensitive in nature. I can't justify continuing to send links of this type of evidence to people, who dislike my theory, to these studies and documentaries (the amount of content warning labels I'd have to provide, alone...) to... what...? Gawk at? Just to prove that it happens?

Should I have to explain to strangers or irritated people who have a reason not to like me, for what I think about a fictional story or character, that I actually have asthma and that I know the difference between types (most people don't know there's different types to begin with) and why none of this is adding up to me? Probably not. I know that this topic is sensitive in nature but suddenly, a lot of people were making judgments about my character and wanted to know details about my personal life. Why is that okay? If I ever came off overly defensive about this in the past, I apologize, that was why.

Back to the subject... Five-year-olds who are capable of getting into things they aren't supposed to, and playing with ""medicine."" Is that a rare occurrence? No. Five-year-olds capable of playing with ""medicine"", knowing the outcome might be harmful...and doing it anyway? Actually a lot more likely, than you think it is. Is it rare? Absolutely, but sadly... but not so rare that it's not well-documented and studied. The evidence is out there, and if people want to find it, they can do so. You don't have to take my word for it. And people can believe, what they want to believe. If they look at all of the behavior shown of RealCiel, and just shrug and say he surely can't be one of those kids. Fine. However...

- I'm suspicious, when a ten-year-old hides the ability he can regurgitate at-will, and likely had to practice this ability to perfection. He could have died, he could have choked, right then and there and just didn't. Am I supposed to believe this is the first time he's done something like that? He did it with such confidence, when he swallowed that huge ring. He knew he could keep it safe, and get it back in what I assume was a much more dignified way. That ring wasn't so much as tarnished, by his stomach acid. Why did he think he'd need this ability? Is it a watchdog secret? Or is it something he figured out on his own, and taught himself? I'm also suspicious, of the circumstances surrounding "that day" and the way real Ciel behaved, up until the moment he left the bedroom. - I'm suspicious that Tanaka was the only person spared and survived the fire, and that this master butler, a man who can stop a bullet with a sword, did nothing and seemed completely panicked... his last words before injury were "Don't come closer, Master Ciel is--!" Master Ciel is what? - I also find it an odd choice, that he trips/falls twice but both times, where moments where his brother was supposed to receive attention and he refocused it back on himself. Once during a fencing lesson when O!Ciel tried to talk to Lizzie, and once more when R!Ciel brought him flowers from the outing, he tripped and they were scattered everywhere. - I find it an odd choice, that O!Ciel was concerned with making everyone on the estate happy and worried about solving all of their problems and was considering the burdens of caring for so many people... while real Ciel compared them to livestock... like currency, and worried if they didn't keep things running right, they'd leave. A remark that wasn't unnoticed, by their father. - I'm actually not-at-all startled by how hard, R!Ciel took being told that his brother was going to leave him, someday. How hard he protested and how emotional he got, I think that part is fairly normal... but I am suspicious, of how immediate and quickly he recovered. The moment he realized, "Oh. ... I don't have a choice." Shouldn't he have cried harder? But he smiled, immediately and his tears dried up on a dime. Maybe a child in his position would have tried to run away... but with a sick brother, how could he? I don't think he just accepted it happily, I don't take that reaction at face value. I think he wanted his circumstances to be very different and someone, saw this and took advantage of him and manipulated him all the way to the events that lead to "that day." - And last but certainly not least... I'm extremely suspicious of the way Sebastian-the-borzoi reacts to Our!Ciel, especially the nose-prodding and constant barking at him, and only him. It looks a lot like a service dog alerting. They bark, they prod. They do not give up. He knew something was wrong, and if nothing else... I trust and have faith in that dog. It's not any one thing Real Ciel did, it's...everything we were shown of their childhood, combined. Could there be another party at play, here? Of course, I think it's obvious this child couldn't have acted alone. Someone with ill intentions... used him.

I don't blame him, for what happened "that day", I don't think he's 'evil' and I'm not 'out to get him' or whatever it is people think. ...

It's something that not a lot of people LIKE to think about, I'm sure, what children are capable of. But not every child who does that, is abused, and it's NOT always the cause of these behaviors. To say so? Is not only incorrect, but... it's really a slap to the face to the parents and caregivers of some of these children. I read about one case of a child who tried to kill his siblings on multiple occasions and blamed other grown adults for years, before he was caught. They found needles, knives, candy, and his mothers meds under the carpet padding in his closet. He would go to school and manipulate teachers and tell them things like, "Mommy didn't pack me a lunch today!" When she actually did, he was throwing his food, in the trash. He was not abused at home or in school, or treated any differently than his other siblings, who did not display any of this behavior.

Some people are simply born "different" and children do very strange things for attention and their ideas of love and affection, there's... a lot of people in this world, that dedicate their entire lives, to trying to help these children and understand why this occurs. To the best of my knowledge, when this occurs and abuse is not present or a cause, it's thought of as something that is neurological, with possible genetic factors at play.

While a lot of them are caught, early on (with symptoms often manifesting beyond a shadow of a doubt, around age 5... the most extreme case I've become aware of, showed alarming and severe signs at age 3 ) ... some children, learn to mask and learn how to avoid getting into trouble, and to make sure they're the most popular and well-loved person in the room. They mask so well, that this never gets properly diagnosed well into adulthood. The adults often lead quite successful lives, and don't usually seek help... because they don't feel like they need help. Why would they, unless they're forced to? For what reason? They say that psychopaths make up 1% (1 in 100 people) of the population. Yet, 20% of the most successful businessmen in CEO positions (1 in 5), are psychopaths. That all being said, this is a theory about a fictional character ...and I don't condone people using it, to hurt someone or to manipulate whether they agree or they don't. People are allowed to interpret Real Ciel differently, than I do. You're allowed to like him and think I'm incorrect. You're allowed to like him, even if I AM correct.

#Real Ciel #poison theory #tw: death mention #Sensitive topics concerning mental health of children

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theycallmeratt · 2 months

Text

A little something for Wyll week :)

Date

Many years had passed since Wyll left his hometown, and while he hadn't planned on returning with horns he was glad to be back. Glad, too, that most people weren't as hostile here as he'd feared they could be, and glad to be sleeping in the finest (cleanest) room in Elfsong, Karlach alive and ready to play cards whenever they weren't needed. He could nearly pretend they weren't gearing up to fight a giant brain. A monster hunter's pinnacle! That was how he would think about it.

Bird song filled the morning air, his tea steamed, Karlach had claimed the table they liked outside and he'd just opened to the crossword when a familiar tickling hit his frontal lobe and a voice like rotten treacle cooed, "Wylly!"

Twenty-four. He didn't answer. He never answered when Mizora used his sending stone. If she wanted an answer, she could talk to him out loud, not through his eye, in a voice that didn't sound like she was trying to cover up poison with honey.

"It's her, isn't it?" Karlach said. "You always get this look like you're going to vomit out of your ears."

"Glad I've finally taught the pup not to jump all over me when I call," Mizora crooned.

Nine. Nine more words until the stone stopped working for the day and she would be out of his brain.

"Today's a special date."

Five. Gods, whatever she was going to say would be awful.

"Why don't you just—" Karlach tapped the side of her eye.

Excellent idea. He popped his eye out and set it on the table, catching a faint, "Happy—" before she was gone. Only four words left in the spell, but they were probably vile.

"She's reminding me that today the anniversary of the day I signed," he explained.

"Really? The day you single-handedly saved the city? That calls for celebration. We should make a day of it! We could buy you an eye. A shut-up eye."

"Or go to the circus again. This time without a deranged clown attack. We could get more makeup and sneak it into Astarion's bag."

"One day he's going to kill us."

"Nah, it's all in good fun. Now, if we put it on him while he was trancing…"

"Wyll. I thought you were a good guy!"

Wyll held up his hands, palms out. "I am! I am."

Karlach picked up the eye and made a face. "Gods, she is so mean in only four words. How do I work this again?"

"You simply think—"

"Fuck you, too!"

"No, you think… wait. I have a better idea."

Wyll took it. He wasn't a musician, but he did currently room with a bard who loved to come up with the most earworm-y diddies and even Mizora had lost her cool over the most recent song. In his thoughts he sang, "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, you know my lodgings, call on me, maybe."

Just to give Mizora something to mull over. Enrichment was very important for devilish contract holders.

Karlach leaned back, looking up at their room. A tenday ago Tav finally hit a breaking point—Tav, of all people!—and turned Mizora to stone. Luckily the spell didn't trigger anything in their contract, which made sense; Mizora was technically still alive and technically able to communicate. "Wanna go dress her up? What would she hate more? Clashing pinks or something that actually covers skin?"

"According to her, I have the worst taste in fashion. So, my clothes."

"Your clothes in pink!"

Wyll could do that. He looked good in pink.

"All of the above, with clown makeup," he suggested.

"It's a date."

#bg3 wyll #wyll ravengard #bg3 fanfic #bg3 karlach #bg3 mizora #wyll week 2024 #wyllweek2024

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femmesandhoney · 19 days

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Hey I hope this isn't too annoying of an ask, but literally how are you so happy at college? You're like the student I want to be, you're always posting on here about your classes and you're so engaged and seem so into it. Every semester for me is just another couple months of the time passing and panicking. I'm either completely paralyzed in bed or I'm crying in bed. Like, how do you seem so good at this?

it's not all sunshine and rainbows believe me. even my best friend has told me i come off as someone who "has it all figured out", but i often do not feel the same lol, i miss assignments, i stress out and procrastinate until the last minute, i get drained from all the work mentally and physically. all the regular college shit. outside of that tho, i legitimately love learning and interacting with others who are interested in what i like and who i can learn from. that's usually what keeps me happy! i love the people i meet in my classes, i like group discussions, i like being introduced to new things, i love my profs and take all the classes i can with them. generally, im just friendly w people in my classes and that makes me enjoy going to them, and i take classes i enjoy, and if they're reqs i don't care for, i always try to take something out of the experience.

some people do not find learning for the sake of learning fun, but i do, which makes even the roughest days okay, but that doesn't mean the tedious and demanding aspects of college curricula do not wear me down too. i decided to wait to go to grad school bc im exhausted! i am tired and need a break from always having another damn assignment to do and another article to read 😭 those things are taxing, and i already have bad self discipline habits, so you can imagine i often make stuff harder for myself than they need to be. the only reason i get good grades is bc im smart and have a relatively easy time understanding the subjects i study. if i take anything outside my favorite academic areas, like say the natural resources class i took a few years ago, that shit had me crying every damn day lmao.

so yeah, i just enjoy learning for learning sake, but also i like academia and going thru the motions of a classroom experience is fun to me for all the reasons i listed, including the fact i want to be a college professor and just enjoy that atmosphere a lot. i would wager if you're constantly frustrated by your college experience, maybe analyze a bit deeper on what you most dislike? is it specific profs, the people in ur classes, the subject material itself? if theres anything you can try and control to make it more agreeable for you, always take the opportunity, tho ik its not always possible. im lucky that all my areas of study have naturally wonderful people drawn to them (especially the international studies students!), but ik some majors can draw less nice people sometimes :( which can make ur experience harder than it should be. or some people legitimately do not enjoy the institutions that are schools and what they traditionally demand from a person, which is completely understandable. my best friend didn't go to college bc she barely graduated high school bc she hated attending and never turned in her hw. some people just do not thrive in such strict school environments for many reasons. but whatever your case is, i hope you have easier semesters in the future if you continue, no one should ever be so stressed from a class that they cry over it. i think thats a failure of a class and a professor when that occurs, and a sign of a bad class/prof rather than a bad student.

#im writing this at 2am i hope its not typo ridden

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oksana-moods · 1 year

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Queens of Promise - Part 5

Summary: The plot thickens.

A/N: Hey you all! I don't even know what to say here rs It feels like a decade has passed and certainly feels odd to come back after such a long time. I don't know if there are people still interested in this story, but after a request of a dear friend of mine, I decided to post what's already written and work on the last chapter (the only one I haven't fully written yet, only on script).

I'd like to explain that my writing time got reduced by a lot of reasons, but mainly, 2022 was a bittersweet year that I'll definitely remember for the rest of my life.

Without further ado, let's get back to the story, shall we? Everything until chapter 10 is written and almost ready to be posted, I'll just look for typos or other mistakes and you shall have it really soon. For real this time. Chapter 11 however, the final chapter, is still on progress but I promise I will give you the end of this story.

Please, let me know your thoughts.

-Previous parts here

Trigger Warnings: Violence, language, mentions of blood and war. If there is any other that should be mentioned, let me know.

Into your eyes, hopeless and taken

Triskelion Castle

“Absolutely not.” Queen Calanthe manifests her disapproval to your latest idea. “I’m not letting you play spy and into Sokovia’s territory, no less. It’s not time for games. We are at war.”

For the thousandth time, you sighed. You tried countless ideas of how to learn the Maximoff’s plans with the Kree and none of them seemed to please your mother.

“Well, what do you suggest? We need to find out what they are up to, messing with the Kree.” You spat the word Kree as if venom tainted your tongue. “You can’t expect me to sit on this. I’m going to discover this one way or another, even if requires me to interrogate Princess Maximoff myself.”

“I suppose you discarded that idea few months ago.” She seethed, referring to when you had the princess within reach, but you chose to let her go and you hated how she was right. You hated even more not knowing why you allowed her to run away, in first place.

Loki cleared his throat trying to clear the air in the room and intervened with an option. “Perhaps we could send a small unit to the harbor?” He folded his hands behind his back and started to explain his idea. “We know for sure that winter is closing down on us, therefore there’s only one harbor in Starksland that any commotion could happen.”

“Hogan’s harbor.” You spoke, grasping what he was proposing. Loki, in turn, flashes you an appreciative smile, he always admired your intelligence and how receptive you were with those who you trust.

“Precisely. If Kree were to arrive with troops or anything else, that would be the place.” He lifted his hand and started to enumerate the facts that supported his theory. “Hogan is a small town, there’s not many prying eyes. They could count with the snow to slow down Stark’s troops. No resistance whatsoever, not until they are far inland and with the large number of trade routes, they could very well disappear until they’re fanning on our necks.”

You looked at him with a smile on your own. You always prayed to the Gods for your mother to live for more than hundred years, but the idea of your ascension as Queen seemed a little bit less scary because you knew he’ll be by your side, sharing his wise.

You turned to him and grabbed his head forcibly and gave two kisses on his cheeks. “Uh brother, you’re brilliant. I knew we kept you around for something more than just your pretty face.” You finish with a smile, which grew wider after his reply.

“Thank you. I have a pretty face indeed.” He straightened his robes from imaginary crinkles, suddenly uncomfortable with your praise.

You turned to your mother, head spinning with ideas, and started to share them. The meeting went for hours without end, but this time plans were discussed instead of rejecting ideas and later that day, you had convinced the queen that your unit should be the one set off for this quest.

After the assembly, you stayed behind in her meeting room. Her eyes were set on your form, while you pretended to busy yourself admiring an old painting celebrating the bravery of your family on some ancient battle. The painting showed some gran-gran-mother regally mounting a white horse, wielding a sword in the middle of a battle. You wondered how many lives were lost for that ancestor to gain this work of art.

“Do you think her mother doubted her worth?” You spoke quietly, after a moment contemplating the moment eternized on the wall. From the corner of your eye, you could see your mother’s head turn to you harshly.

“Oh my love, I never doubted you.” She took few steps and you turned to look at her fully now. The crease between her brows were deep and there was worry in her eyes.

“Yet, you weaken your troops on the battlefield by keeping my company away. You don’t trust me anymore.” Your voice was flat, as if analyzing an event and not delivering how bad it bothered you.

She took the remaining steps between you and grabbed your hands in hers, giving light squeezes. “I’m a mother and you’re my daughter, my only daughter. After your abduction by the Kree, I went berserk and didn’t stop until I had you in my arms again.”

Her eyes were hard, but they showed so much love that you felt your feet slightly out of balance. “Oh, when I saw your fragile, beaten form laying on your bed that night I vowed that I wouldn’t put you in harm’s way again.”

She paused just for a few seconds to make sure you were following. “And this war has so many blind spots, so many white blanks that scares me, my love. I can’t lose you.” She squeezed your hand harder this time. “And Taharr can’t lose you.”

You looked at the emotion seeping from her eyes, and it was once in a lifetime to see the queen Calanthe so vulnerable, so human. “One of the first lessons you taught me was to serve my kingdom. No matter what.” She laughed dryly, of course you’d use her words and ‘lessons’ against her. “And I am good, mother. I need you to see that.”

She cupped your face with her hands and caressed your cheeks with her thumbs. “You are the best, my love, you are my daughter and I taught you myself. If anything, I made sure the greatest warriors in this world prepared you to be the best knight in Noveria, even better than myself. But, in the end of the day, I’m still a mother worried about my cub.” She smiled lightly and you smiled as well.

As a queen, she knew better. From early age, she made you learn how to fight with all weapons and even without one. The same time spent with physical training was dedicated to study the numbers, letters, history, geography, politics, religions, beliefs and even agriculture. After all, knowledge is never too much and information could be a weapon itself, if harnessed properly.

You nodded but still counterattacked. “But I know that your permission had more to do with the fact that I’ll be away from the front than to my investigation skills. It stings.” She was about to speak but you stopped her. “You can’t protect me forever, mother. We are at war and in Taharr there’s always war.”

This time she nodded and took few steps away from you. “I know and you’re right, but I’m old and one day you’ll step up as the Queen of Taharr and I have to make sure that you’ll live long enough.” Her words sink heavily in your stomach, the veracity of her statement hit you like a rock.

Your mother fought her battles, had her share of wars and now she was looking to the future, worried about the type of person would assume her crown when the time comes. “Do you think I’m reckless? Do I embarrass you?” Your voice was low, exposed and she hated to see you second guessing yourself. She always loved your spirit, even though they brought a fair amount of headache.

“Never.” Her voice was firm, and she spoke the truth of her heart. “I’m nothing but proud of who you are. You’re strong, intelligent and you’re never afraid of fighting for your people. You’re a true lioness.” Her soft smile turned into a small smirk. “As for reckless, I can’t judge your youth’s spirit. I remember giving my father few grey hairs due my own adventures.”

You snorted at her choice of words, and you wondered if you’d ever learn how to speak like this. You wondered if you’d ever be half of the woman she was and a quarter of the queen she was. There were many things you wondered, and you feared you wouldn’t be that good. “Do you think I’ll be a good queen?” Again, your voice was small, foreign-like small, showing her your inner doubts.

You knew you could handle a fight; you knew you had learnt troop maneuvers enough to overpower an enemy during a war, but could you run your kingdom with the perfect balance between ruthlessness and kindness as your mother? Could you guide your people during the darkest times when it comes?

“I know you’ll be the greatest queen to ever grace these lands, even more marvelous than Queen Maria Hill.” Pointing at the Great Queen on the painting in front of you, she spoke with a certainty that pushed away the worries hammering your head and heart, at least for now.

You shook your head amused and locked eyes with her. “Will I be as good as you?” Her smile was bright, thanking you wordlessly for your praise, then she replied. “Oh love, you’ll be better than me, for you have a heart of gold. And when the day come, I’ll be a delighted queen and a proud mother.” She finished with a glint in her eyes, and you nodded you head, smiling lightly.

She patted the seat by her side on the balcony, welcoming you to enjoy a cup of tea admiring the beautiful fall tinting the trees and fields on the outskirts of Triskelion of orange, dark red and light brown as the maple leaves adorned the grounds.

You were still thinking about the conversation you had had with your mother when a nudge on your ribs brought you back to reality and you looked to its source only to find Lady Rambeau nodding towards a specific door at the back of a decaying pub near the docks.

You narrowed your eyes and saw a young woman stepping inside of it and you smiled, for you knew who she was. And something told you that, after weeks lurking around Hogan Village, today was your lucky day.

You waited on your spot for a while longer and a soldier reported that there was no sign of Scarlet Knight or Black Widow, something foreign stirred in your stomach when they said Princess Wanda was nowhere to be seen, it was almost as if you were disappointed.

But why? You shook your head and chewed your own lip, weighting your options and thinking about what your next step should be.

This time, it was your turn to nudge Maria’s side and beckon her to follow you. You signaled for everybody else stay on their posts and wait for new instructions, then you strolled to the pub’s entrance.

Once inside, you immediately asked for a beer, to blend in with other costumers and locals. You leaned on the counter and tried to find sokovian soldiers. “I’m counting two on the right corner and another by the window, the one with white hat.” Your words were low, to make sure only Maria would hear them.

She nodded and turned her body, leaning on the counter, pretending to be bored with her beer stein. “You missed the guy by the side door.” She took a sip of the liquid and used all her mighty to not spat the content on the floor, pursing her lips. “This beer is worse than piss.”

You snorted. “You know, the mere notion that you can make such comparison scares me.” Lady Rambeau sniffled her laughs as to not get unwanted attention. “Come, is time for us to have a chat.” Silently, she followed you to the table were the person you were after was.

“Oh. Squire Kate Bishop, fancy seeing you here.” Your spoke loud enough for the girl in front of you hear you properly, but not loud enough to attract unnecessary attention. You were disguised as trader and so was your partner, but your face was not particularly unknown.

Despite being low, your voice still made her jump, startled, then she turned back to look at you.

“It’s Knight Kate Bishop, actually.” She raised her chin, proudly and you almost felt bad for her. Unbeknownst to her, she gave you more information with that single sentence than she could’ve imagined.

She was proud of her title and so was of her mission, for sure. Therefore, the mission was bound to be important. Therefore, Scarlet Knight should be close and had interest in whatever was going on. Therefore, it’d be a matter of time for you to learn what it was.

You smiled at her. “That’s quite the title, kid. I’m sure you can handle it, though.” You spoke then you let your eyes stray to the stash of papers on her hands.

“I’m sorry, what name did you introduce yourself with?” She tried. You were lucky indeed.

“I didn’t.” Smiling you retreated from the bar and went to the camping on the outskirts of the city, where you shared your knowledge with your companions. The stash of papers in Bishop’s hands were ship manifests, they meant supplies were about to arrive and you knew just when, for you read the ships names.

Forel Star and Valar Zirtys, both braavosi ships and that made no sense in this crescent pile of strange allies sought for Sokovia. First Kree, now Braavos. Unless…

Something popped in your head.

It was known to a lot of people in other continents, but only a few in Noveria knew and, fortunately, you were one of them. One of the papers had the Ragman’s Harbor stamp on it, which means the ship’s last stop was a harbor that’s open to all foreign ships, unlike Purple Harbor, which tends exclusively local braavosi ships.

Obviously, said ships could have made a quick stop in Braavos coming from another place and after loading the new cargo, set off to Hogan’s Harbor. However, there was this nagging feeling that this was a diversion. Maybe, the Kree used the braavosi harbor to laundry the load as to avoid suspicious. Very meticulous.

The question is, what Sokovia had offered in return?

You could be wrong, but the more you thought about it, the more all the details seemed to click into place. Your instincts never failed you.

You were sure they weren’t start just now.

------

Somewhere between Sokovia and Taharr borders

The road to the Krogani Lakes seemed endless, especially with so many turns, road depressions and lakes to go around that took one moon for Wanda’s troops to move from the outskirts of Hogan’s Village to the battlefront.

Even though the interminable trip was a nuisance in itself, the princess felt her restlessness growing with each day. The wagons transporting their goods could turn their luck on the front. There wasn’t just food, which she knew they desperately needed, or new armors and weapons, but especially medical supplies. Nowadays, those were rarer than gold.

The Scarlet Knight was so engrossed on her thoughts that she didn’t hear Natasha’s horse arriving by her side. So, when her friend spoke, she startled Wanda. “One more hill and we’ll get to Sokovia’s camp before dusk.”

“By the gods, how can you still be silent with a horse?” Wanda put a hand on her heart as though this action could calm her down.

“It’s literally impossible to be silent with a horse, Wanda.” Romanoff shot her a smirk. “You were so absorbed by your thoughts that you missed my approach.” She laughed lightly, trying to lift the mood, sour since their encounter with the Kree emissary.

“Urg. This trip is interminable, and though we’re no longer in Taharr’s territory, it feels like we’re been watched still.” The princess shared what bothered her with her protector, there were so many reasons why she’s restless that she does not know where to start.

“I feel it too. Especially when we went around the Gauntlet Valley by the south, but I believe that I’m still creeped about that power stone we delivered to the Witch Harkness.” The Black Widow spoke, eyes never straying from the road and their vicinity, always looking for a threat.

“I’m still creeped about the whole meeting, Nat. That woman didn’t look like she had her mind on the right place, even less were her intentions.” Wanda felt cold creeping up her bones the second she entered the inn the witch provided as meeting point and every now and then she still felt chills on her cells. “Fortunately, it’s behind us now.” She muttered.

“Unless it comes back to bite us in the ass later.” Natasha smirked a sentence dripping sarcasm, and deep down she prayed that it was just a sarcastic remark indeed and not an omen.

By the time Wanda arrived at their camp, the tents for her and her unit were already up, and everything was prepared for her arrival. The redhead was dreaming with a hot bath and a very deserved rest, but the second her boots touched the campsite, she was taken to the Commander’s tent.

“What happened?” Wanda inquired the second she stepped into the tent. There were important Lords and Knights gathered around a table, but she couldn’t see the man to whom the tent belonged to, only his shield broken on the ground.

“Lord Rogers was captured by the enemy, your highness.” Sir Rumlow fed her with the latest news and the reason why the camp was a pandemonium. Another battle lost to Taharr and now their mightiest warrior, their Commander, was captured. This was a blow to the troops’ morale.

Fuck. The princess muttered to herself. It felt as if fate was against them, only when she brings new supplies, this tragedy happens. “Who’s leading now?” She asked but offered her opinion already. “Lady Romanoff can step in.”

“I’m the next in succession line, your highness.” Sir Barnes started, after clearing his throat. “And I’m afraid King Pietro and Lord Vision would approve, as I’m already familiar with Steve’s tactics.” He spoke loud enough for everyone to hear, but not enough for Wanda to think he’s being rude.

“By all means.” She raised her hands in surrender. As for Vision’s wishes she could care less, but Wanda wouldn’t undermine her brother’s commands on the battlefield, besides the Winter Soldier was a formidable soldier and she knew her army would be in good, capable hands. “Now what?” She asked, sitting by the table, sighing tiredly.

“Now we negotiate and until then, we wait.” Natasha replied and every head on the room nodded in agreement.

Wanda always saw herself as a patient woman, but to wait for any ransom request or even a meeting to draw a negotiation was murderously painful. She had spent the days checking the wounded and their treatment as well as the troops meals, she did everything to kept herself busy to try and forget that one of her mentors was in the lion’s den, possibly dead and there was nothing that she could do.

Dread filled her bones as she walked inside the tent built on the once battlefield, so they could stand a conversation and exchange their requirements somewhat sheltered from the cold rain. Wanda’s eyes roamed the room, taking in every single person present, envisaging who could be a threat in case things went south.

Her eyes stopped and never left the smiling person on the other side of the table, neatly separating the place in two.

Right in the center of Lords, Ladies and Knights, there was you in rich red robes with a few lines adorned in golden, and a lion with an imposing roar was embroidered in your chest. You were breathtaking and Wanda took a few seconds more than usual to breathe again, immediately plastering an annoyed look on her face.

“Ah, Princess Wanda, you’re a sight for sore eyes.” You shot her your most dashing smile and Wanda’s annoyed face turned into a scowl. The gal of you to speak with her like that.

“Can’t say the same, I’m afraid.” She replied, crossing her arms and taking a seat on the table in front of her. “Shall we begin?”

“Of course, Your Highness.” There was a glint in your eyes, but it didn’t feel like you were mocking her title, quite the contrary. For some reason, you seemed truly pleased with her presence and that baffled her.

You cleared your throat and started to speak as if this was a simple matter and not a ransom negotiation. “Your Highness, Ladies and Gentlemen, the last few battles bespeak for themselves, I’m afraid this war is dragging itself for far too long.” You look around to see all eyes on you. “I think a truce is in order. Especially now that the winter is here.” You let your lips turn into a smirk and finished. “No pun intended.”

With a sudden movement, Sir Barnes unsheathed a hidden knife and stuck it heavily on the table in front of you, dangerously close to your hand. “Why don’t you stop with your funny remarks and get this over with?” He spat the word funny as if it were covered in venom.

While Carol, Maria and Sam each let out their own indignant forms of exasperation, you didn’t even flinch. You remained still, looking at the man known as Winter Soldier dead in the eye. “I could have your head in a spike for that little stunt, Sir. Or maybe I should ask for your other hand?” You tsked, feigning disappointment.

To his credit he didn’t waver at the mention of him losing his remaining arm, you only heard stories of how this had happened. It wasn’t a sore spot, you suppose. Taking a tired breath, you resumed your little speech. “I imagine Lord Wilson was very clear when he said no weapons allowed, yet here we are.”

“The note said we’d negotiate Steve’s release, yet here we are.” He mocked you and for a second you thought that picking him by his neck and breaking his nose on the table would be a nice way to show him that he was not allowed to speak with you like that. One glance at Wanda showed you that she had an unreadable expression gracing her face.

With a start, you decided that an act of violence would be unwise if they were trying to negotiate a ceasefire. As much as you wanted to put him in his place to make sure he’d never forget to be respectful to you, you relented.

“Why do you speak as if you were in charge of anything?” You decided to keep violence as your second resort, then. After all, you still need to get a truce before your men freeze with the winter that is about to ravage that region.

He was visibly frustrated by your comment, and you immediately knew this was his weakness. He didn’t want to be demoralized, specially not in front of everyone in the room, probably because his position was too fragile at the moment. “I’m the Commander of Sokovia’s Army, I represent-” You never let him finish.

“No, Sir. The Commander is currently in my custody, you’re barely a nuisance to me. I’m here to negotiate with Princess Wanda.” You flashed him a dangerous smile, however, he wanted to have the last word.

“Lord Vision and King Pietro, they both agreed that I-.” Again, you cut him midsentence, too annoyed to keep listening to his voice, you were losing a precious time now.

“I don’t care about King Pietro or Lord Vision, they’re hundreds of miles away while our feet freeze in this hellhole, so let me be clear, if I wasn’t already. I will only talk to Princess Wanda, no one else.” You fixed him with a glare colder than the rain outside the tent and this time he spoke nothing, grumpily leaning in his chair, defeated.

You turned to look at Wanda, who looked like she was ready to deny every single one of the requests coming out of your lips. “Princess Maximoff, I’d say we stop this madness, once and for all, but I’m pretty sure you still want to revenge a crime that we did not commit.” You began, keeping eye contact with Wanda hoping she’d see that you meant every single word coming out of your lips.

The Maximoff, on the other hand, started to open her mouth to protest but you raised your hand, signalling that you still have things left unsaid, in return, she simply closed her mouth and waited. “I’m sure you know better than anyone that winter by the lakes is cruel and will decimate our soldiers, no matter the color of their clothes.”

You paused your speech just long enough for you to see that the princess had her eyes glued on you. Her beautiful green eyes. “So, I propose a truce. You take your army home and I’ll retreat mine. We can try a peaceful, new negotiation when spring arrives. If we fail, then you can march south once more.”

There were murmurs and grumbles of disapproval by her side, but you already expected resistance. Illogically, a lot of people seemed determined to prolong this war even more. Something churned in your stomach when all Wanda had to do was to raise her hand for her companions to cease their complains. Were you proud of Wanda’s leadership? Why?

Why would her little demonstration of power affect you to this point?

Your thoughts were sliced by the princess’ heavy accent, and you had to bite back a smile that was already painting itself on your lips. “Why would I let you go back to your warmer south if my troops can endure the winter longer than yours?”

“Because not only I’m willing to set Lord Rogers free, but also, I might pretend that I don’t know where your new supplies came from.” You could see Wanda’s face morphing because of your words and their meaning.

You were willing to overlook her Kingdom’s deals with the Kree and this was a big offer. Huge even. Sokovia could be the most hated people, just like Hydrarr was, and the price paid as an outcast was painfully high in Noveria.

“Why?” Even under the feeble light provided by the candles, you could see genuine curiosity in her eyes.

“My people need to rest, and we need a truce, Princess. Even if it’s a cold peace until we can settle a more permanent agreement later.” You could still see drops of hesitation in her eyes, that’s why you quickly provided her with an insight.

“If we keep doing this, Taharr will no longer possess an army but the same will happen to you. How long do you think Hydrarr would wait to abuse your borders? Or how long do you think Asgard would take to claim as theirs the share of Bifrost Forest that currently belongs to you?”

You could feel the other sokovians staring daggers at you, but your attention never quavered from Wanda. For a moment, you almost smiled thinking that your mother and your brother would’ve loved to witness your tactics. Information and knowledge are a powerful weapon indeed if one knows how to wield it.

Apparently, all those hours locked up in your chambers learning about boring geopolitics paid off. The basics of being a king or a queen is how to keep your borders, hence why one needs an army and the thin lines on Sokovia’s east were a weakness that you would not hesitate in remind her of.

“You have your deal, Lioness.” Her voice brought you back to present again.

There was a muttering around the tent, but your eyes were solely on hers when you spoke, smiling widely. “We should celebrate with a good southern wine, princess.”

“Don’t push your luck, Princess.” You could’ve sworn that you saw the ghost of a smile flashing on her lips while she got up to her feet to leave the tent, but you probably had imagined it.

taglist: @californianwhiterabbit

part 6

#Queens of Promise #wanda maximoff #princess wanda #wanda maximov #wanda marvel #wanda x you #scarlet witch #wanda x reader #wanda x female reader #wanda x fem!reader #medieval au #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x reader #enemies to lovers

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hellotherekenobi · 1 year

Text

A DEAL IN MATRIMONY

03. SUGGESTIBILITY

Chapter Summary: pretending to be in a relationship with Robert is hard enough, but pretending to be in love is harder, especially under peer pressure.

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: some “adult” language.

Index: Previous chapter. Next chapter. Masterlist.

Saying hello to everyone at the party is like having a kid attached to your leg, as Robert sticks by your side like glue and asks you about fifty different questions each time he shakes another hand of a stranger.

It’s nostalgia mixed with frustration for every conversation, but you try to pass by everyone quickly, especially when they poke around your “relationship” with Robert.

Faking being a couple at home is more stressful than at the immigration office, what with everyone’s eyes on you so intently.

Then there’s your family, who keeps you in their sights no matter where you go in the room, which makes acting like a couple almost like a second job. It’s conversation after conversation with each person in attendance, some remarking on how pretty Robert’s eyes are before walking away.

Yet, he has his focuses on everything in the house, from the curtains to the furniture and the oak chandeliers, rather than the people, like he hasn’t been inside until right this moment.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you’re a descendant of the royal family?” He chirps beside you, still looking at the paintings, the dishware, and the tables.

The sarcasm isn’t appreciated, giving him a half grin.

“Well, how could I? We’ve only ever talked about you for the last three years.”

He shakes his head, leaning close to you so no one else can hear. “Stop bickering,”

“Stop leeching onto my arm,” you shove his hand off of you and he looks offended that you would even push him away like that as if you haven’t tugged him around before.

Robert presses his lips together, looking at you like a parent does to a defiant child. He quickly grabs your arm again, moving you to the side, gentler if anything but still as urgent.

“Alright, this has to stop. People need to think that we’re in love.”

There he goes again flinging around that word like it means nothing more than a showtime act. With all the pressure of what consequences may lie waiting for you in the future and how frustrating Robert is making this, it’s hard to remember that he’s been on his own for a long time and so the term ‘love’ doesn’t hold as much weight to him as it should.

“Hey, fine by me. I can play the role of the doting fiancée, no problem,” it’s a weightless comment, swinging around to tackle him. “Only for you, it’ll require that you stop snacking on the souls of the innocent.”

“If I knew you’d be this difficult, I would have found someone else to—”

“Blackmail?”

He sighs, seemingly giving up.

“When are you going to tell everyone that we’re engaged?”

Once again surprised that he remembers that part of the deal, like how he remembered your Gammie’s birthday, you straighten the collar of his coat, trying to look as if you aren’t tearing each other to pieces.

“I’ll pick the right moment.”

Robert gets cut off from asking another question, thank goodness, by a couple tapping you on the shoulder, almost making you jump. They smile widely and open their arms for a hug, which you give into once you realize who they are.

So many faces you haven’t seen since you were young and still living the Alaskan lifestyle, and now they’re all here to see how you’ve grown up with a distance toward that way of living.

“It’s so nice to see you back home,” the woman of the couple says, after introducing herself to Robert and shaking his hand. “I want to hear everything about your job.”

Her husband hums. “It must be so exciting looking over your own division.”

“Right,” you plaster on a fake smile. “Of course.”

But someone has other plans, cutting you off from saying anything more.

“Yes, I’m interested to know that myself,” comes a male voice from outside the circle, walking over from the table to where you all stand, forcing his way into the conversation.

As per usual, his presence gives you shivers.

“Dad,”

He flashes you a faded smile, quickly redirecting his attention.

“You must be Ronald.”

“Robert,” he corrects, shaking your father’s hand with a straightened spine, right back into business mode.

Your father keeps his gaze set on Robert, something authoritative and unsettling, although you don’t have too much worry since you know Robert’s dealt with men like this before. It’s simply the interaction that’s making your palms begin to sweat.

Having your boss meet your father isn’t exactly at the top of your list of things to do, let alone introducing your boss to your family as someone you’re going to marry. The words are too rough to say now, so you keep quiet.

“Why don’t you tell us all about being a director?” Your father speaks. “I’ve heard so many stories from my daughter regarding luncheons and kicking the occasional employee out of the building.”

You can see Robert stiffen beside you, turning slightly to give you a look. Meanwhile, your eyes are set like a target on your father, seconds away from striking.

What a great first impression he’s giving. Not that you expected more, anyway. You’ve learnt to keep the bar low with him.

“Director?” The woman asks, glancing at you. “But I thought you were looking over one part of the company, honey?”

Your dad beats you to the punch, waving the whiskey glass in his hand.

“Oh no, she’s just a secretary. Ronald here is the director of the company.”

“Robert,” he reiterates, then says something that surprises you, which forces your gaze to shift to him rather than the glare you had set on your father. “And your daughter isn’t my secretary, she’s my executive assistant. They’re two very different jobs.”

“Of course,” your dad takes a slow sip from his glass, then tilts it in his hand. “Well, I think I need a refill. If you’ll excuse me.”

Neither you nor Robert says a word when your dad walks away, leaving the couple to stand there a bit confused for a moment before they decide to move about the room as well.

The tension is always heavy with your dad around, like a blanket thrown over you, but he might as well have left it there for you to suffocate under.

“Here I thought my father was bad,” Robert says beside you, tilting his head to the side.

That’s not at all what you need to hear right now, especially from him. You manage enough self-control not to send a glare his way, but there’s an anger bubbling up inside of you that you need to let burn out. Or burn down, whichever happens first.

“Excuse me,” you mutter, walking around him to follow your dad into the other room.

When you’re within reaching distance, you grab him by the shoulder.

“What the hell was that?”

“What are you doing here with him?” He grumbles, shaking his head. “All I’ve ever heard about the guy is bad news. Now suddenly he’s your boyfriend?”

“Don’t do this, dad. We just got here,” you pinch the bridge of your nose. “I’m not in the mood for another fistfight.”

He shakes his head again, quicker this time. “What’s he going on about, executive assistant? I never figured my daughter was the type to use sex to get ahead.”

“That’s not what’s happening,” you almost choke on the insinuation alone. “He’s one of the most respected businessmen in the industry, I’ll have you know.”

“You’re sleeping your way to the top,” the last word comes out with a pop. “He’s your meal ticket and you brought him home to meet your mother.”

“No, he’s not my meal ticket, dad. He’s my fiancé.”

The words come out ready, sharp. Much smoother than you thought they would be.

It clearly knocks your dad back a rank of the ladder, stilling at his place. The ice cubes in his glass clink when he doesn’t hold it upright, being the only sound for a moment.

“What did you say?”

“You heard me,” the words are burning. “We’re getting married.”

Walking around him, you don’t wait for a response. The last thing you want is another argument about your taste in men, or how he hadn’t a say in this so it needs to end here. Maybe it should. Maybe back at the office, it should have ended, but it didn’t. You agreed to this. You’re not letting your dad dictate another part of your life, even if by the end of this you’ll be a divorcee.

Even if it’s all a lie.

You’re practically stomping back into the open room where you and Robert had been earlier, expecting to find him there. He’s nowhere to be seen and, frankly, you can’t care at this point. You’re growing impatient for the balloon to burst and your dad is no help in that.

Feeling all of it, the anger and the nerves, bubbling to the surface, you find that it comes out in the form of words that you don’t realize you’re saying until you say it.

“Everyone, can I please have your attention,” you shout, watching as everyone turns to face you.

There’s a thumping in your chest due to the words you’re about to say, but you breathe it into nothing. You just need this weight off of your chest.

“I have a very important announcement to make…”

A few more words and this lie will become solid. Everyone will know. Not just your family, like you had thought it would be, but now almost everyone from your childhood—all of your friends, your neighbours, and some of your teachers, too.

What are they going to think? What are they going to say? Will they see straight through you the moment the words leave your lips? It’s ridiculous that you’ve even let this go this far, but you’re here now. Time to set it in stone, even without him by your side.

“Robert and I are getting married.”

The balloon pops and everyone goes quiet.

Your mother’s face is directly in your viewpoint, where she stands by the fireplace, gaping at you. Your Gammie, on the couch, looks back and forth between you two, like she hadn’t heard you correctly. Seeing their faces, you realize you could have said it more delicately.

It takes a moment but applause kicks to life, not as hesitant as when it started awkwardly by a couple of people.

“Pumpkin?” You call out, knowing that if Robert didn’t hear the announcement then he’ll hear the pet name you’ve been teasing him with.

As you expected, his head pokes out around the corner of one archway, looking confused. Strangely, it gives you a short smile.

“There it is. Come here, hon.”

The first part is said more so under your breath, but you are relieved to see him. With this kind of crowd, it would be easy to slip away.

The applause builds again when he makes his way over to you, a little slowly, though he wears a smile. As soon as he reaches you, his eyes grow wide for only you to see, but you just smile through your teeth and he goes back to acting happy.

There’s a shout from the bar about opening a bottle of champagne, and everyone hoots in agreement, finally settling into a more assuring attitude.

The hype is starting to calm down as everyone is going to get themselves a glass of bubbly and you’re ready for one as well. Before you can move, Robert swiftly snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his side and feigning affection with so many eyes in the room.

“This is your idea of the right time to tell everyone that we’re engaged?”

His touch takes you by surprise; just his arm around you makes heat rise to your cheeks, and you’re trying to look anywhere else but at him.

“It was brilliant timing,” he says, just for fun, you think.

It turns out that the bubbly makes its way to you, as two glasses are suddenly being handed to you and Robert by one person, excited enough to congratulate you both.

Fortunately, Robert takes the glass with the arm that was around you, saving you from having to stand there in his hold any longer. Taking the remaining glass, you let out a breath that you hadn’t realized you had been holding.

When you go to take a sip, someone pats your shoulder, bumping you enough to almost have you choking on the drink. When you turn around, though, all annoyance goes straight out of the window.

“Eames!”

It almost comes out a little too loudly, bubbling out of you as if his name were the champagne.

“Hello, stranger,” he laughs, wrapping you up in a tight hug. “How are you, darling?”

“Great, I’m doing great. How are you?”

“Ah, the usual. Here and there,” it’s been too long since you’ve heard his voice, something so pleasant to your ears. “Gammie told me you were coming down for the weekend.”

“I’m surprised I could, to be honest.”

“Why’s that?”

“Oh, you know. My boss is a pain in the—”

Crap. He’s standing right by you.

“Look at us, we’re being completely rude,” Eames says, turning to face the man you completely forgot was supposed to be your fiancé for the weekend.

“Right,” you shake your head, ignoring the way Robert watches you two, and introduce them both. “This is my ex—well, uh, he’s—”

“I’m her brother-in-law,” he finishes for you, shaking Robert’s hand.

“Oh,” Robert voices, not hiding the way he finds that interesting. “And is your wife here with you?”

You give Robert a side-eye, warning him not to press into your family life, but he remains looking at Eames, even though you know he sees you in the corner of his eye.

“No, not right now,” Eames says. “But she’s planning for later in the day.”

“Of course,” you can’t help it sounding exhausted, though you try to hide it.

“Well, look. Congratulations to you both,” Eames claps his hands together. “I hope I didn’t miss the story.”

“Story?” Both you and Robert ask, looking at each other as if the other one would know.

“Of how this lad proposed,” he smacks Robert on the chest, laughing.

It’s a forceful smack, clearly, from how Robert almost knocks his drink over and begins to rub at the tender area with his fingers.

“Oh,” coos Gammie’s voice, still sitting on the couch but within ear’s distance. “How a man proposes tells a lot about his character.”

Your mother, who’s come to sit beside her, nods her head, raising her glass.

“Yes, please. I’d love to hear the story. Would you tell us, Robert?”

Eames looks like a content child who’s just won a prize, sitting himself on the arm of the couch and squeezing Gammie’s hand. Everyone else within earshot encourages Robert to tell the story, spurring him on with a few glasses clinking. You’re just hoping that he’s got something in that thick head of his to run with.

“I’d love to, but your little pumpkin here,” he shakes you a bit by the arms, smiling over at your family on the couch. “She loves to tell the story. So, I think we should sit back and let her have her fun.”

He’s already taking a seat next to the couch, leaving you standing in front of everyone with their attention set on you. So much for having something to run with. Actually, it’s more like he pushed you into the spotlight and made a mad escape.

“Wow,” you breathe out, playing it off as a chuckle, and press your hand into Robert’s shoulder from where he sits. “Where to begin…”

How can it be that neither you nor Robert ever considered this? Sure, let’s run through twenty questions, and understand each other’s sleeping habits and favourite colour, but not run over the story of how he proposed.

Would it be too ridiculous to go with the truth, telling everyone that you had forced him down to his knee on New York pavement?

“Well, the first thing you should all know is that Robert here is a sentimentalist,” you start, pursing your bottom lip with a nod. “He really is. It was coming up to our first anniversary and he had a plan, but I already knew,”

A few chuckles come from here and there, especially from Eames. The sound has Robert turning in his seat, but his attention quickly draws back to you as you continue, ready to have some fun since he’s given you all of the cards, though not intentionally, but you’re willing to play.

“I also knew how scared he was, like a little mouse,” you squeeze his shoulder when you say it, earning a groan from him. “So I started leaving him notes; little clues to let him know how I felt, seeing as he’s such a bashful romantic—”

“Actually, I don’t think that’s how it happened,” Robert cuts you off, wiggling under your hand.

“No?” It's an innocent smile for show, but playful to him.

“No. Because you, pumpkin, are about as subtle as a gun,”

More laughter from the crowd at what he says, happy with himself at how you go quiet from the pet name the two of you are serving to each other like a game of tennis.

“She had in mind one thing, but I had something up my sleeve. I had bought this gift—”

“Oh yes, the scrapbook!” You exclaim, clapping your hands together, taking your turn. “The heart-shaped book with all of these printed photos of himself stuck on each page. It was so adorable.”

You watch as some women nod affectionately, a hand on their heart, whilst others seem to give their husbands a nudge in the ribs.

“But what was even more adorable is that when I opened the book, music started playing. He had recorded himself singing, and all this glitter sprinkled out of the book. Hand-cut confetti and all.”

“But no question,” Robert says, eyeing you. “No proposal under all of that garbage. No,” he turns to look at the crowd, your family especially. “On that page was written a date and a time, and a message to meet me at my apartment. A masculine gesture,”

“But so sensitive,” you wave at everyone, drawing their attention to you. “Because when I got there, he was waiting for me—”

“Standing—”

“Kneeling, on a bed of rose petals. Holding back soft, boyish sobs, but eventually, he caught his breath and he said—”

“Will you marry me, and she said yes. That’s the end of the story.”

It ends so abruptly, with him cutting you off like that, and everyone in the room is too stunned to say anything for a moment, some nodding their heads and others looking confused. Yet, you stand there with your eyes on Robert and his on you, determined to hold onto the pretend rope in your mental game of Tug of War.

“That’s quite a story,” your mother pipes up, a contemplative smile on her face.

“Robert,” Gammie says, reaching over Eames to grab Robert by the sleeve of his coat. “You’re so thoughtful.”

He smiles bashfully at that, patting Gammie’s hand almost in a shooing motion. Eames laughs beside him, smacking his back and almost toppling Robert over once more.

“How delightful,” he smiles widely. “You’ve found yourself quite the man, darling.”

Robert makes quick to stand up at that, walking the way to stand beside you, already having a telepathic battle with you about the whole ordeal.

Though, the clatter of a spoon against glass grabs your attention.

“Let’s see a kiss from you two lovebirds, hey?” Says someone in the crowd.

Everyone hums in agreement, some cheering, and you want to kick the man who said it. Kiss Robert? You’d rather make out with a blowfish than kiss him. He’s your boss. It’s way too weird a thought to even consider and you don’t have it in you to look in his direction.

“No, come on,” you awkwardly chuckle, shaking your head at everyone.

“Just one kiss,” someone calls from the back of the room, and your mother raises her glass in agreement.

A chorus of “kiss her” starts flaring up, urging you both to give in to their tease. They might as well sing out the kissing song from kindergarten, it’s so embarrassing.

Eventually, you raise both hands in defeat, feeling the heat rising to your cheeks again with each cheer.

“Okay, everyone. Alright,” you say, finally turning toward Robert who’s looking at you with eyes not as wide as you were expecting.

He stands there waiting, as does everyone else in the room. You can’t even hear the cheers anymore, already being blocked out by how loudly you can hear your heart ringing in your ears.

Carefully, you take one step forward, placing your hand on Robert’s shoulder. Then you lean in and kiss his cheek, pulling away just as fast.

“There,” you mutter, turning back toward the room.

You’re greeted by a collective groan, some frustrated hands rising in the air.

“Kiss him on the mouth!” Shouts someone.

The chorus starts up again and you’re spinning toward Robert who gulps at the chaotic attention.

It’s just one kiss, you try to reason with yourself. You’ve had kisses before. It’s simple. It’s quick. It’s nothing. It’s Robert who takes the first step to you, and it sends another flutter in your chest that scares you so much that you grab at his coat and quickly press your lips to his, scrunching your eyes shut, then bouncing back like you had been shocked.

“What was that?” A person calls, and you’re ready to swing a chair in their direction.

So it was a preschool kiss, so what? All of the commotion and simply just the feeling of Robert’s lips is having you blush furiously, whether it’s visible or not. Why do they have to keep badgering you like this?

“Come on, guys,” you whine, not caring if it sounds childish.

After all, they were acting like children to be demanding you kiss a boy like this.

But not just a boy, a man. Robert Fischer is the man they want you to kiss, and strangely, you don’t know where you stand with that, not now. The only thing that’s assuring you that this isn’t going to go straight to his head is how he waits there for you—waiting on you to make a move, whether that be in his direction or straight out of the door.

Maybe. If he’s standing by for you, then maybe it won’t be so bad.

“Give her a good one,” Gammie smirks, winking over at Robert.

He smiles at that and it’s not synthetic. You’ve seen his fake smiles before and that is nothing like them. Was that then, perhaps, a genuine smile? When this is all over, you fear that might be the strangest thing to come of this weekend, and your Gammie is the one to thank for that.

So, you surrender.

“Let’s just get it over with,” you whisper to him, and that gives him enough permission to take a step forward.

His hand reaches for your waist, pulling you close to him almost torturously slowly. The champagne is smelt on his breath and you wonder if you’ll taste it on his lips, too. Your heart is racing, but it blocks out the noise. That gives you the courage enough to lean forward, your nose brushing against his.

It’s only a second that you hesitate and then you push forward through the gap, meeting Robert in a kiss.

His lips are soft and gentle, not pushy in the slightest, or rough like you had, for one reason or another, assumed they would be. He simply presses against you, a hum rumbling in his throat when his eyes close shut—a sound that makes your heart do the macarena in your chest—and your eyes follow suit, shutting closed almost blissfully.

A tingle sparks through you when his lips move against yours for more and you make a quiet noise as well as he had, something you can’t hold back, feeling his fingers softly glide up your back.

With a hand resting on his shoulder, you almost want to pull him in even closer, but then you remember why you’re even kissing in the first place and so does he, apparently, as you both pull away at the same time, his hand immediately leaving its place on your back to hang at his side, staring at each other with eyes that say, that wasn’t that bad at all.

Just the thought of it alone has you both facing forward, too afraid to look each other in the eye now after that. Applause snaps your senses back to reality, looking over the room at all the happy faces, the two of which are your mother and Gammie, but you don’t spare a second in Eames’ direction, far too embarrassed now at how long you let Robert kiss you and, startlingly, at how much you liked it; now knowing that those lips of his are anything but virginal.

Though it seems that it’s Gammie jumping up from the couch that brings Robert back down to earth, as he raises a hand in protest when she reaches forward for a hug. He’s not lucky this time to escape it, as she yanks both him and you over to her to sandwich herself between you both, hollering about how happy she is.

It’s awkward to be put so close to Robert again, but neither of you two gives the other any attention. In fact, your hands are as far away from each other as possible, with Gammie in the middle. She leans back an inch to grab Robert’s face with both hands, tilting his cheek so that she can plant two excited kisses against it.

He squirms in his spot, slightly bent to accommodate her height, his knuckles turning white as he clutches them at his side. When your Gammie pulls back, moving this time toward you to give you the same treatment, you watch as Robert wipes the kiss stains off of his cheek with a disgusted look on his face.

Please, let you be the only one who notices that.

Someone in the room calls out for another bottle of champagne, and if you’re not careful, you’re going to drink the entire thing down to the last bubble. But you doubt that would do you any good, as the taste will just remind you of Robert’s lips.

A/N: screaming??? We’re really in it now. Thank you ALL for responding thus far with such lovely comments. I get so excited each time I post an update. So, buckle in, folks. We’re heading straight for shenanigans!

Wedding divider credit: firefly-graphics

#robert fischer x reader #robert fischer imagine #robert fischer imagines #robert fischer #cillian murphy #cillian murphy character #inception fanfic #inception fic #inception imagine #:a deal in matrimony

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silverstonesainz-archive · 2 years

Text

𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐯𝐮 || 𝐬.𝐜.

❝ Do you call her, almost say my name? ‘Cause let’s be honest, we kinda do sound the same ❞

summary: how many more times can you be burnt by the same flame? word count: 2.8k warnings: cussing, drinking (nothing excessive), toxic behavior from the captain himself. note: wow it's been a while. i'm so sorry for the wait. i hope you like this one. also, italicized are flashbacks haha.

𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

---

“Y/n, there you are!” You whip your head around and see Kris jogging up to you. You stop in your tracks, waiting for him to catch up to you.

“Hey, everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah all good. I just heard you were in the building, and I’d be remised if I didn’t stop and say hi to my favorite photographer.” He flashes you a charming smile and you can’t help but roll your eyes playfully. “So hi.”

You giggle, nodding, “Hi Kris, it’s been a long time.”

A year ago, after many tears shed and a tumultuous week of decision making, you made the decision to terminate your contract with the Pens and move north. There were all too many reasons why moving from Pittsburgh to Long Island was right for you, but perhaps the biggest reason would be staring at you right in the face.

“If you leave, then we’re done.”

His face was stone cold, expression serious. There was no furrow in his brow, nor a curve on his lips. He was cold, not a single emotion given away in his eyes.

“That’s not fair Sid.”

The sound of Anders calling your name snaps you out of your day dream. You jog over, shaking away the memories and try to focus on your job.

Today, you think to yourself, is going to be a long day

—

You closed the opening for your camera, leaning back as the second period nearly comes to a close. The Pens were up by one, and the Islanders have yet to get on the board. A couple of the guys pass by you, giving the glass a quick tap as if to say hi, before skating to the bench to listen to what Barry has planned for the last thirty seconds. You stand from your seat, weaving through the crowd to get to the tunnel to shoot some shots of the boys as they head into the locker room.

You click through your camera roll, skipping quickly through the photos of Anthony, Brock, and Oliver, finally making it to the flicks of boys in black and white jerseys. You hum, smiling at a few celebration shots between Jake and Geno. This is definitely not what you’re being paid for, but they were your friends and you simply couldn’t help yourself.

The buzzer goes off, and you scurry to get to the tunnels, pushing through people who were off to grab all to expensive stadium snacks. You had made your way, holding your camera up to your eye and click your shutter. But it isn’t until tints of black and yellow pass your gaze do you realize that you had made it to the wrong tunnel.

“You must be lost,” You pull the camera off your face, to meet Geno’s playful gaze as he walks past you with a grin.

“I just might be.” You tease, giving him a shy smile. You can hear his deep laugh fading as he moves farther from you. You shake off the interaction, rushing to get to the other locker room in hopes to make up for the mistake you’ve made.

But of course, you bump into a black and white jersey that covered pounds of padding and gear. You curse quietly to yourself before pouring out a multitude of apologies. It isn’t until you look up, and your eyes meet a familiar set of hazel ones does your throat dry and force you to stop talking. His hair is damp with sweat, forehead red from his helmet, and gloves held in his left hand.

“Y/n…”

“No. Don’t say my name like that. Like you’re disappointed in me. You should be proud of me, supportive even, that I’m taking strides for myself and career.”

Sidney stays quiet, the despondent look on his face never faltering.

“Or are you disappointed that I’ll no longer be in your shadow?”

“Sorry, let me get out of your way.”

You can see him open his mouth, but you walk off before he could manage to get a word in. Your feet take you quickly and further from your ex-boyfriend. You push through multiple staff members until the familiar blue and orange come into view. Quietly, you slip into the locker room and begin to take quiet shots of your team. Only a few notice your sudden entrance, but no-one makes a comment.

Soon, it is only mere minutes until third period and the boys are back on the ice. You speak to your partner, looking at her shots and thanking her for taking them while you were lost. She asks where you had disappeared to, and you blame it on a bathroom break. Your mind is clouded with memories of your last conversation with Sidney, the one filled with tears as you begged the man before you to be happy for you. It was hard to think of the moments before that, all the good and happy. All the moments that knocked the air out of you was no longer at the forefront of your mind. Just angry tears and hurtful words that he left you with and forced you to take with you all the way to Long Island.

“Go, leave, see if I care!” Sid’s eyes are red with rage, breathing heavy as he glares at you before turning on his heel to walk out of your apartment.

“I will!” You stomp after him, picking up his jacket and throwing it against his back. The black fabric makes a soft thud at the contact and it falls to the ground. “Take all your shit with you.”

He bends down and takes your favorite jacket of his, gripping it in his hand so hard you can see his knuckles turn white. “Goodbye Y/n.”

The third period comes to a disappointing end for the Islanders. You take a couple shots of the brief hugs and head pats shared on the ice before they waddle off. You lean back in your seat, watching has hundreds of people scream and cheer for their home team before pouring out of the room. It only takes twenty minutes before the loud buzzing fades away and you are left with the slight hum of the lights. It was peaceful, and it allowed you to forget— just for a moment— where you are.

“No, I normally don’t do this.” The deep voice is soft, growing loud with each step. “But I thought I could show you this quickly before I have to leave tonight.”

You sink into your chair, watching as a girl steps out onto the bench, looking in awe at the empty stadium. Your heart nearly comes up your throat as you see Sid come up behind her, that boyish smile curved onto his lips making him look younger. You see the sparkle in his eyes as he admires her, the look of awe spread on her face as she looks around the ice. You know that look anywhere, he used to look at you like that.

And maybe he still is. It doesn’t take a scientist to see how similar you both look. From the color of her hair all the way to his black hoodie slung over her shoulders. She looked like you, when you were drowning in the attention and affection the Sidney Crosby showered you in. Heck, she holds the same awe-struck expression you did when Mr. Crosby first brought you here once upon a time. The captain’s new girl is a spitting image of you. You nibble on your bottom lip, fighting a smile as your heartache dissipates more so than it ever has in the past year.

You stand from your seat, the bottom of the seating springing up loudly and catching the attention of the only other people in the arena. Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you offer the girl a curt smile as she looks at you with wide eyes. If it weren’t for the deafening silence, you would miss your name softly falling from the lips of your ex-boyfriend. The echo in the room carries it to you, and you smirk before turning on your heel and out the door.

“You’ll regret this,” He said to as he handed you your old spare key, “In some form or another. And you’ll never find someone like me.”

“But that’s the point isn’t it?”

Kris is everything, but especially persistent. That’s why you’re sat before a Kris, Geno, Chad and Jake at their favorite bar with a pitcher of beer to share. You don’t even like beer like that, but you were also in no mood to order yourself your own cocktail. Geno pours more in your glass, breaking any progress you’ve made with it.

“More.”

“Geno,” You swat his hand, and he giggles as he places the pitcher down, “I barely finished my first glass.”

“I know.”

You shake your head as the boys laugh at the interaction, before diving into a conversation about a potential golf game for the next morning. The bar is busy, filled with Pens fans and several players. You spot Sidney and his girlfriend just two tables over, sharing a basket of fries. You nearly threw up when they had walked in earlier in the night, her outfit almost exactly the same as yours. Chad made a snide comment about it, and you had to turn away to hide your flush cheeks.

“We always call him out for it,” Jake whispers in your ear.

“Hm?”

“That Natalie looks like you. Sounds like you too.”

You look back over at them, popping a fry in your mouth. Sidney turns in his chair, his eyes catching yours. There is a small smile on his face as he nods as if to greet you. In a split second, Natalie turns to see where, or who, her beau is looking at.

“He’s not really over you, and everyone can see it.”

You smile at Jake’s words, biting down on a fry before breaking eye contact with Sidney. You bump shoulders with him, and Jake laughs before taking a sip of his beer. The five of you don’t stay for much longer. The clock hits eleven and it’s time for you to retire back to your hotel before your next very long day of traveling. The goodbyes aren’t as heart wrenching as the last, and you nearly believe that you will keep the promise to visit more often than work lets you.

You fall into bed when you finally get back to your hotel, the bed plush and untouched. The sheets smell fresh, and it takes you to a place of peace. You only lay there for ten minutes before you sit up and attempt to edit all the photos you took during the day.

About two hours deep into your work, the clock sitting comfortable at 2:34 AM, does your phone ringing take you out of it. A familiar 724 number displays on your screen. Your heart speeds up, and you stare at it for a couple more seconds to be sure it’s real. Then— against better judgement— swipe on the green button on the bottom of your screen.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” He sounds breathless on the other end. Neither of you say anything for a second, so he speaks up again. “It’s Sidney.”

“Yeah… hi.”

“Surprised you kept your old number… or that I’m not blocked.”

You laugh, “I never got around to that part I guess.” He laughs, it’s deep and rings through your ears nicely. But then the silence settles, and the atmosphere makes you feel uneasy. “Why’d you call?”

“I…” Sidney stops, and you both sit on the phone in silence. You shut your laptop, moving from the desk towards the window. You stare out at the Pittsburgh skyline, watching as cars drive in every direction to go where they are needed, wanted. “I don’t know, actually.”

“Does your girlfriend know you’re calling me at this hour?”

“Mmm no. Natalie is a little upset with me at the moment.” You can hear the humorless ha. “Accidentally called her your name.”

Your heart sinks, “Sid…”

You both stay quiet, just the light breathing being passed between the connection. There wasn’t anything you could think of to fill the space, nor an idea of how to end the God awful call. Truth be told, your head is spinning and you didn’t quite know how to process this whole conversation.

“Listen,” He begins, “I guess I called to say that it was good to see you today. That you looked good, happy.”

“Thank you.”

“And you were right.”

“About what?” You sit on your bed, falling onto your back as you wait for his response.

“About me always looking for you in everything I do.”

Your apartment was nearly packed, just a couple of clothes and toiletries still out to last you for your last week in Pittsburgh. You sat on the floor, staring around at the plain room as you play out every memory made in your home. You picture the laughs with family, friends, and the man who ripped your heart our. You turned to look at the box marked S.C. sitting idly by the front door, waiting for its rightful owner to come for it.

You shot Sidney a text after a month of radio silence. He is quick to respond, letting you know that he’d be over in twenty minutes. Though you were still very sad, you were also angry. You replayed every unkind word he said to you as you begged and bargained with him. You were so angry with him and his unsupportive nature, and angry at yourself for still wishing he’d have a change in heart.

True to his word, Sidney was knocking on your door twenty minutes after sending that text. You opened the door, and he stepped in without an invite. You point to the box, “Yours.”

He nodded, taking a quick look around the empty home. “So you’re really doing it huh?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Did you think that I was gonna change my mind? Come crawling back to your door?” He shrugged. You felt the rage boil and bubble over. “You must think so lowly of me.”

“I don’t”

“But you do! You look at me like I’m some spineless fuck.”

“Y/n—”

“Don’t say my fucking name.” You spat. “I’m leaving Sidney. I’m moving to New York because I want to. Because I can, and that I know I will make it just fine. While you,” You point a finger at him, the tip of your index finger nearly brushing his nose, “You stay in this city and look for me. In everything that you do.”

“What is this? Your last attempt to get a final word in?”

“No, I just—“

“Just what, Sid? Just needed to say it?” You scoff, turning onto your side, “You didn’t need to. You just wanted to, to see if you still have something over me.”

“It’s not like that Y/n.”

“It’s always been like that Sidney!”

“Y/n…”

“Stop! I hate that, you know I hate when you say my name like that.” You shake your head, “Disappointed. At who this time Sid? Me, or you?”

The call goes silent again. Your heart races beneath your chest, shaking your ribs. You hated this, hated every second of this stupid phone call.

“You’re never going to be content are you? It’s been a year, and you just couldn’t help yourself. You want to have the same conversation we had over and over at the end of our relationship. How many more times do you want to hear my answers, to hear my reservations of leaving Pittsburgh for New York? How many times?”

There is no response, and you have to check to see if he was still on the line. The call continues to move up from 11:06… 07… 08…

“Are you not sick of this? This feeling of running in circles, the sick and twisted deja vu? Because I am Sidney.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. Delete my number. Don’t ever call again. Goodbye.”

You hang up and finally get around to blocking his number. You had finally closed the book on him. There is no longer another dialogue to write down, another fight to live through. No more running in circles. No more deja vu.

---

taglist: @fallinallincurls @anonymous0writer @generation2k @cherrylita @sydnikov @sebbyaho @hugheswhore @hockeypuckedmeup @ilyasorokinn @sc87

if u wanna be put on/taken off the taglist, pls send me a message!

#sidney crosby #sidney crosby imagine #sidney crosby fic #sidney crosby imagines #sidney crosby x reader #sidney crosby x you #sidney crosby fanfiction #sidney crosby angst #pittsburgh penguins #penguins imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl smut #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #hockey works #sid crosby #deja vu: sid crosby

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dragonking10 · 2 years

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Lancaster Night at the Museum AU

(Summary: Jaune and Ruby lost their lives taking down Salem, with her gone the Grimm were too gone never to be created again and the world have found peace at last, many many years later the people in Remnant had made a museum with great details of history all over the place.

The place is filled with wax figures, T-Rex skeleton, mini Greek Roman Empire along with mini Cowboy figures, stuffed monkeys, a mummy in an egyptian coffin with a strange tablet, etc etc, but the one that stands out most of all was a new addition to the museum a wax figure of a knight in white and gold armor with Crocea Mors in one hand and a shield with gold Arc symbol on it in the other that wax figure is no other then Jaune Arc standing on a cliff facing the audience but he was missing something or someone in particular his lover Ruby Rose and in front their was a sign that reads:

"The Knight and The Rose Reaper, both great leaders that fought a long war in a young age against monsters called Grimm that was controlled by an immortal witch Salem, but together they smite the witch freeing the world from a great evil but it came with a heavy price and that price was their lives. Some might say they saved the world with their courage and leadership but what really won the war was their Love, their love for their friends and family, their love for humanity but most importantly their love for Each Other."

The strange tablet next to the mummy suddenly let out a glow one night and all of the museum props was coming to life but what noone knows is the souls of Jaune and Ruby were never put to rest as one soul suddenly fell from the heavens and landed inside of the wax figure of Jaune.

With Jaune now free to roam around the museum only at night searching for his love but stopped has he hears shouting and banging noises nearby, he follows the sound until he sees a night guard and a boy along with 3 strange looking people and 2 very tiny people on that strange helmet fighting a giant 3 headed snake made of stone and like a Hunstman he jumped in the fray saving the people from the stone beast.)

AFTER THE FIGHT

After slaying the headed stone snakes Larry and his son Nicky came to Jaune "Hey thanks for the help" Larry said, "That was awesome" Nicky said with excitement. Jaune put Crocea Mor in a shieth form and put on his hip turned around and took his helmet off shaking his head so his blonde hair isn't on hia face so can see "I'm happy to help, the name's Jaune Arc, Huntsman sworn to protect Remnant and all humanity" Jaune said extended his hand offering a handshake.

Larry shook his hand "I'm Larry a night guard of this museum and this is my son Nicky" Larry said introducing his son "It's nice to meet you" Nicky said shaking Jaune's hand, one of the wax figures and shakes Jaune's hand "Theodore Roosevelt President of United States of America" said Theodore,

Jaune was confused but smiled "I have no idea what that means" Jaune said. Jaune looked around and turned "So where am I?" Jaune asked "Why in the museum my boy" said Theodore, "I can see that but how did I get here? The last thing I remembered was Ruby and I taking down Salem and then a bright light came outta nowhere and the next thing I know I woke up in this place" Jaune said. "Perhaps I can answer that". Jaune and the others turned around and saw an egyptian prince Cat Faunus named Ahkmenrah coming in the room with the tablet in his hand but the gold tablet was slowly turning to stone.

After Ahkmenrah, Theodore and Larry explained Jaune was in disbelief trying to make sense of this "So let me get this straight my soul is linked to that tablet, I'm a wax figure of this museum and centuries has passed with the Grimm now extinct am I getting this right?" Jaune asked "That's pretty much the gist of it" Ahkmenrah said "That is a lot to take in" Jaune said

"I don't blame you, I should be dead by mummification but with this tablet's magic all of the museum have come to life and prevent my body from decaying, this tablet must have pulled your soul into your identical wax body" Ahkmenrah explained

Jaune was sitting down on chair trying take all of this info in. "So I'm forever bound to this museum as long as the tablet is fully functioned but wait that bright light was the tablet taking my soul does that also mean" Jaune thought before he turned to Ahkmenrah "Hey Ahkmenrah if that tablet took my soul then by any chance hace you seen Ruby?" Jaune asked hoping to see Ruby.

Ahkmenrah frowned and answered "I'm sorry young Jaune but as far as my knowledge goes it was only your soul that this tablet took", Jaune was devastated at the revelation "I'll never see Ruby again?" Jaune thought while he was thinking, Ahkmenrah turned to Larry and asked "Larry can I speak with you for a bit? It's an emergancy" "Sure" Larry said as Ahkmenrah was leading him away from the group.

Ahkmenrah revealed to him "Larry I fear that the tablet is losing it's magic if this tile is not fixed to the correct position by midnight then all of the museum will remain frozen and even as we speak I can feel myself slowly dying again." "Oh no that is not good, do you know how to fix it?" Larry asked concerningly "I asked my parents how and they told me only an Aura Amp with tremendous amounts of Aura can fix the tablet" Ahkmenrah explained but what they don't know is Jaune was eavesdropping their conversation and he was lost in thought

"If that tablet's magic wear out that means my soul can be put to rest and reunite with my love, I just need to find a way to get that tablet and destroy it somehow" Jaune thought.

Jaune suddenly came up with an idea and looks very guilty as he looks at Nicky "I'm so gonna hate myself for this but desperate times come desperate measures" Jaune thought as he went over to Nicky and grabbed him by the hood of his clothes " HEY WHAT THE-" Nicky said alarmed but was cut off as a sword was close to his neck threatening to slit his throat.

Everyone turned to see what happened and was alarmed but no more than Larry as he sees Jaune holding his son hostage "Give me the tablet and I promise the boy won't be harmed" letting go Nicky's hood and holding his hand out, Larry afraid for his son he grabbed the tablet and handed it to Jaune, "Thank you" Jaune said before pushing Nicky to Larry and took off out of the room heading towards the roof.

"QUICK AFTER HIM!!!" Ahkmenrah shouted and they all ran after him, after some time they finally caught him with him on the roof but stopped as they saw Jaune pointing his sword at them while holding the tablet threatening to drop it to the ground.

"Wait Jaune don't do it" Larry said holding his hand out and calmly inches over to Jaune slowly, "Stay back or I'll drop this damn thing" Jaune said "Look we can figure this ou-" but Larry was cut off as Theodore suddenly froze up and fell on the window on the roof, his lover Pocahontas kneeled down to check on him but too was frozen.

Ahkmenrah kneeled down holding on the rail as his body was decaying rapidly "Larry we're out of time" Ahkmenrah said with a weak voice Larry turned to Jaune and got closer "Listen to me if we don't fix that tablet every museum prop will die including you" Larry said, "A world without Ruby isn't a world worth living" Jaune said already accepting his upcoming death.

Suddenly a monkey named Dexter whined holding his chest pain before collapsing Nicky saw that and yelled out to his father "DAD!!!" Nicky said Larry turned around and noticed his little monkey friend was on the ground "DEXTER!" Larry yelled before quickly ran and kneeled down next to Dexter "Come on buddy stay with me you gotta stay with me" Larry said trying to help his friend, Dexter weakingly holding up his arm, Larry saw that and encouraged Dexter "You're gonna slap me? Go ahead you can do it" Larry said on the verge of tears but what ge didn't expect was Dexter wiping a tear off of Larry's face before hugging his hand closing his eyes forever.

Jaune saw that was filled with guilt and remorse "Oh Ruby what have I done?" Jaune thought Ruby wouldn't have wanted this. "I see now I know what I must do" Jaune said before walking to Larry, kneeled down and held out the tablet to him "Forgive me" Jaune said remorsefully.

Larry quickly grabbed the tile and fixed the tablet but it wasn't working "It's not working it needs aura and I don't have enough" Larry said before he noticed Jaune's hand grabbed the tablet and looked at Jaune "Then I will give it some of mine" Jaune said closing his eyes in concentration suddenly Jaune's hand started glow along with the tablet that also started to glow breaking out of it's stone prison looking good as new.

As soon as the tablet was healed all the museum figures was coming back to life, Ahkmenrah was back to full health and Dexter suddenly sat up, Dexter was happy that he's alive he quickly got up to his feet and jumped to Larry embracing him.

Jaune at the scene before looking at the sky with sadness thinking of Ruby suddenly his thoughts were interrupted has he felt a hand on his shoulder he turned his head and looked at Larry with Dexter on his shoulder "Hey you did the right thing I'm sure Ruby would be proud" Larry said Jaune smiled in appreciation for what Larry was trying to do but his words could not fill the void in his heart where his love was.

Some time later that night there was a party going on where all the museum props were having the time of their lives all except Jaune though he tapped his foot to the song that reminded him of his dance with his team back at Beacon but Jaune quickly thought of Ruby and every moment they spend together "Oh Ruby if only you were here" Jaune thought lost in his head in memory lane but was soon interrupted.

"JAUNE!" someone shouted, Jaune quickly opened his eyes he recognized that voice "JAUNE!" someone shouted again, he looked to whoever was shouting his name but was quickly shocked as the person who was shouting his name was no other then his lover Ruby Rose who was running towards him.

"Ruby?" Jaune said to himself hoping his mind wasn't playing tricks on him "JAUNE!" Ruby shouted, "RUBY!" Jaune shouted happily as he ran to Ruby, the two lovers quickly ran to each other and hugged to each other never wanting to let go.

After some time they stopped hugging but they never let go as they were staring into eachother's eyes Jaune lifted his hand and put it on Ruby's face his thumb touching her cheek and Ruby leaned into his touch holding his hand in place. "I thought I'd never see you again" Jaune said Ruby took Jaune's head in her hands and slowly pulled him closer as their forheads touched "And I you" Ruby said before they slowly pulled each other in for a long kiss as the two lovers were reunited.

As the day light came the audience came to see the knight in the museum but noticed something different as they see two wax figures of Jaune and Ruby frozen in place holding on to eachother in an embrace staring at eachother with a smile on their faces and love in their eyes.

HOPE Y'ALL LIKE IT SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION I SUCK AT WRITING

#lancaster museum au #rwby lancaster #lancaster #jaune x ruby #ruby x jaune #jaune arc x ruby rose #ruby rose x jaune arc #jaune arc #ruby rose #lancaster4life

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k-dokja · 2 years

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EVERYTHING COMES AROUND | Chapter 2: Our Lot in Life. | AO3

Samuel has no expectations when he enters one of the stores. It has meant to be nothing more than him doing the daily rounds to keep everything in check. However, seeing you is something he finds strange anyway. Not because of your presence, but the time at which you're presented at the store.

"Early again? People will think you have no life."

He walks up to you. Neither of you exchanges any greeting, yet, nothing feels unwelcomed about each other's company. He leans on the checkout counter while you continue to rearrange the clothes. The older girl who owns the store is nowhere in sight, Samuel will have a word with her about that later. Until then… you can keep him occupied.

"I thought you encourage good ethic?" You stick your tongue out at him before returning to work. "Besides, who would even come here to work without a reason? I want to enjoy my youth, too."

Samuel scans the store. It's a bit out of order, no wonder why you're at work with rearrangement. He puts that thought away for his list of complaints later on. "You really believe in those silly fairytales media told people about you?" His hand itches for a smoke, but he keeps away from it. No point in letting the scent of smoke caught on the clothes. Besides, you will probably give him an earful for that, he's in no mood to deal with any of that annoyance at the moment.

"Of course, we'll have to spend most of our lives being adults, but there are only so many years we can be children. I'm working hard now so I can have more free time and live a little once I entered high school."

Your explanation doesn't sit with him. If only for how naive it sounds, from retrospection. "There's no saying everything will be better." His hand grips the counter, keeping the urge to smoke at bay. Something about this conversation inspires the need to soothe his brain.

"I have to stay positive, Samuel," you turn back to face him, your hands propped on your hip, "no better how shitty everything become, long as I can keep my head up, I can continue to fight."

Yes — he likes that determination about you. Sometimes, he even sees his own reflection in it. Yet, the idea of accepting that line of thought doesn't sit with him. So, he pushes it away. "Your positivity is nauseating," he sneers.

You humphed, defiant and should he say… childish in your own defence. "There will be a day when all you can do is keep your head up, and then you will understand the depth of my words."

He pushes down the smile at the corner of his lips. His nails dig into the wood of the counter. "I'll pass on that," Samuel says, "it sounds like you're cursing me."

Something passes on your face, but you turn away before he can catch what it is. "Who knows? We're young, there's time yet."

"Yeah, I'm young but you're simply immature."

"Hey—" You open your mouth, but before you can finish your sentence, an unfamiliar face enters the store. "Customer! You're lucky this time!"

"Hm."

With that, you leave him to his device and after a moment of watching you attending to the customer, he can no longer ignore his urge to smoke. So he leaves. His hand digs into the pocket of his coat and pulls out his pack of cigarettes. As he walks away from the general direction of the store, his mind mulls back to the previous conversation he had with you.

Strangely, it makes him laugh. A mocking, quiet laugh.

What an unproductive conversation.

#samuel seo #samuel seo x reader #lookism #lookism x reader #fics

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yuribeam · 2 months

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hey hello, sorry if this will be rude but wow your last post dude

hrt is NOT "like trying antidepressants" holy shit why are you spreading such an innacurate information

every hormonal medication doing fucked up shit, like don't you hear about all problems that cis women obtain after using oral contraception, for example? all health problems that tgirls get?

hrt is not like hell yeah give a shot and then just stop using it if it won't fit, nothing serious will get you i promise ;)

sorry again but as a trans on hrt MYSELF i'm a little confused by this attitude

my comparison to antidepressants was not in a literal medical sense. I meant HRT should be destigmatized and considered neutrally as a potential tool you can use that may or may not improve your health.

I very clearly say you should be fully informed of the risks.

I am not saying there are no permanent changes, I am saying you will not be immediately and completely transformed overnight like a werewolf and you can stop taking the medication at any point, assuming your hormone-producing bits have not been surgically removed. Obviously some changes can come quickly and it varies person to person. Obviously some changes can stick after you go off it. See again, informed of the risks.

I am on hormonal medication myself. I am aware of its physical and mental effects. I have tried dozens of other medications too. I have been fucked up by various meds in the past, including some long term side effects. I am disabled with complex medical problems, so believe me, I am familiar. However, in every case I weighed the risks and decided with my doctors to try them because I killed the gatekeeper of earning through suffering in my head and gave myself permission to try.

There's a huge transphobic narrative that HRT is unlike any other medication and should not follow that same process of informed consent, and that trans people should wait years and years agonizing lest they mutilate their bodies, and the sentiment of that post was intended to counter the internalization of that which causes many trans people to suffer for years thinking they're not trans enough to try medication, which most people picked up on.

It was not to give medical information on how HRT works, just to say that it is a process you can have some level of control over.

HRT very obviously has risks. I think everyone is well aware of that. Changes can obviously be permanent, but by and large they are gradual changes, not flipping a magical sex change switch.

I am not encouraging people to go try HRT for kicks and giggles without knowing the risks. I'm emphasizing that it's a personal decision that they should be empowered to make just like any other healthcare decision.

It takes years for a puberty to "complete." You know how people complain it's been months or years and they've barely seen any changes or still don't "pass" Going off low dose HRT after a few weeks or months most often doesn't mean you're forever gonna look like a man or a woman now, or that you can never try it again (in the case of informed consent access).

At a certain point, HRT kinda is just give it a shot and see if it fits. Not give it a shot if it passed your mind once or as a first step in exploring your gender, no one is saying that, but if you've been agonizing over whether you're allowed to try it, you should give yourself permission to explore the option. You have to pull the trigger eventually, which is what I'm saying, not to fire blindly. There will always be a degree of uncertainty with any medication until you see how it works for you and your body.

If it's something you want, you are informed of the risks and have accepted that your mileage may vary, and preferably have medical supervision for safety reasons (although I recognize that is a privilege for trans people in many places) you should give yourself permission to try it.

#my posts

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andimthedad · 11 months

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Chopsticks Question

Luke: [age 18] "I've come up with a test for people I might be interested in dating: I ask them if they know how to use chopsticks." Me: "Uhh... how is that a test?" Mom: "That seems kind of classist. Or maybe racist, depending on how you interpret it." Luke: "No, no, hear me out. If they know how to use chopsticks, then that means they have had a wider range of experience than a lot of Americans. That's good. If they don't know how to use chopsticks, then I ask if they would ever want to learn. And that's kind of the real question. If they have an open mind to new experiences, they'll probably say yes. If not, they'll probably say no. And I'm more interested in the people who either have a wider experience or are interested in trying new things." Mom: "I would have failed that test when I was your age. I didn't even have Asian food until I was 16 and we got Chinese takeout for the first time. My whole family thought it was weird and suspicious." Me: "I only remember one Chinese restaurant when I was growing up and it was unusual for our white middle-class Midwestern family to go there. Your mom and I didn't learn to use chopsticks until you kids wanted to learn, and then we all learned. That was only in the last ten years.) Luke: "Did you want to learn before that?" Mom: "Well, after I stopped thinking it was weird, I thought it was interesting, and then I just never had the opportunity or took the time." Luke: "So, you would pass the test." Me: "I get the goal of your questions, but I think Mom is right that it might be biased. Your childhood has been blessed with more diverse life experiences than a lot of people. It has certainly been a lot more diverse than mine or your mom's childhood, and that was pretty intentional on our part. But it's still a privilege. You can't measure other people's lives by your opportunities that they never had. And this question definitely won't work for people who grew up using chopsticks." Mom: "I mean... you wouldn't ask Koreans if they knew how to use forks, right?" Luke: "Of course not. I'd have to come up with some other questions that could show how they feel about trying new things." Me: "And this couldn't be your first question. You'd have to get to know people a bit first." Luke: (faux earnestness) "Hi! I'm Luke. You seem nice. Can you use chopsticks? Hey, don't walk away." Me: "Probably just like that." Mom: "I see what you're getting at, and I agree it's a creative way to try to figure out people's perspectives. But you can't just have this be a yes/no answer. All kinds of smart and interesting people have different perspectives on things, and chopsticks might not be a reliable indicator of anything. It could still be, or not, but... I don't think there are many single questions that can tell you everything you need to know about a person." Me: "You should probably only ask this if you're going out for food that you would normally eat with chopsticks. It's always easier to learn about people over food." Luke: "Actually, asking people out for sushi is a similar question for people who have never had sushi." Mom: "Just be careful and have an open mind, just like you're hoping to find in other people." Me: "Or, if you're eating sushi, an open mouth." Luke: "Now I want sushi for dinner."

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binarystarduet · 5 months

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— Happy Holidays, Finnley!! @straycatofring

You were the first on my chopping block of love, how exciting for you!! It's that time of year again where I pour my heart out about my friends. You can find that under the cut and so much more! I love you bestie, thank you for being in my life. Here's to another year of love and laughter! 💛

my lovely friend,

⟡ Is there anything left I haven't said before? About how you're one of my closest friends, about how I consider you like family. This is bound to get a little sappy... but hey, that's what this blog is for, yeah? You're one of the most thoughtful and most comfortable people I have ever been around— like, honestly. From the moment we met you've made me feel seen and listened to, and loved, and I hope we can remain close for years to come. You always know what to say, and your presence is always so bright. We have so much fun together and I just! really enjoy your company! calling you and sharing interests has been such a highlight of my time recently, watching mygo was so fun; we need to watch revue starlight with you soon! speaking of which, tell Rain I said hi, and that I really care about them too. I'd love to do something dnd someday, even if it's just making ocs together and nothing more! by the way, it goes without saying that I am also so proud of you. how far you've come since we met. You mean a lot to Lucy and I, you're so genuine, and so easy to talk to, and I'm so grateful that we were able to meet time and time again.

my theme this year was "people I knew you as in another lifetime!" so I thought and thought about who I should make edits for; honorary mentions to Ichie, Raana, Elodie, Hilbert or Barry, Link, and Hu Tao by the way! I also figured whoever I didn't do, I can always make surprises later on or in Ichie's case, will probably do more of because of the special interest. that being said... Hagumi, you were one of my very best friends as Kaoru. You and Kokoro really put the happy in hello happy world. A lot of us were troubled in some quiet way, but your confidence and beaming smile always brought me back. I cherish the (fleeting) memories I have of our silly times together! so keep shining on, cool cat! / Sun, ughhh, okay immediately what I can say is my family loved you. it was embarrassing. but... I did too. a lot. you were a brother I never had and I'm glad I can tell you all of this now. I love you. / of course, Miss Tomoe, selfless until the end. I admired you, more than I could have ever said, and which each passing timeline I felt it harder to do so. You were never alone, and you certainly aren't anymore. Thank you for taking care of Madoka when I couldn't, and thank you for caring about me at all. Thank you for being in my life so many times, and thank you for finding me again in this one. I hope we can make it until forever ♡

I'm not the best at sappy words I tend to ramble on and on forever and sound redundant but i really wanted to tell you how much you mean to me even if it's just an obnoxious wall of text !!!!!! you're such a wonderful person and I hope you know that. happy holidays and happy early birthday,

love forever and ever ⟡ Mao 💜

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jotatetsuken · 2 years

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everybody falls in love somehow

submission for: mailcarrier may server collab organized by @burnthoneymint @leydileyla and @scandalous-chaos (y'all should check out the works here for sureeee <33)

features: steve rogers x f! reader

type of writing: oneshot

trope: mail carrier au, strangers to lovers but with major angst

synopsis: when steve rogers didn’t feel that he did enough when it came to connecting with people that he swore to protect, he decided to be a mailman and interact with people to forge connections, until an interaction with a certain someone (you), changes him.

warnings: reader’s husband’s passed away, so has peggy carter, so angst (coping with grief), mentions of alcohol consumption (in one line), anger, fear of commitment, visitation of grave, character deaths, overall fluffy, not proofread I guess, lol, setting is after the 2012 avengers movie and before the winter soldier movie, a popular superhero makes a cameo appearance hehe

song: this playlist, especially everybody loves somebody - dean martin

number of words: 2.1k

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a/n: tbh, i didn't know if i was going to get this done on time haha, but i did. i know not many people think high of steve rogers, but i love him. so when @leydileyla suggested to write postman angst, this brainchild came into my head, and while i’d thought of doing an entirely new story with him, but this story just flew haha, and i hope y'all like this <33 likes, comments and reblogs, especially reblogs are appreciated. also, yes, my crush on steve rogers is back and HOW!!

Cold. That’s how Steve Rogers first felt after being frozen in the Arctic for nearly seventy years and then revived in the 21st century. Worthless. That’s how he felt when he was trying to come to terms with the world that moved on without him. Broken. That’s how his heart felt for a moment when he learned that Peggy Carter, the love of his life, had passed away in her sleep. Dejected, that’s how he felt when he couldn’t save his best friend, Bucky Barnes.

However, after he, along with the rest of the Avengers, defended and protected New York City from the invasion of the Chitauri, he still felt hopeful in a certain way. He felt relieved that people would now remember him differently, in a good way. Nevertheless, he felt that that wasn’t enough. He felt a strong urge to be in touch with the generation in front of him, that was deeply engrossed in new inventions, newer mentalities, and newer environments. He felt the need to practically reach out to the people of modern America and connect with them.

He calls Nick Fury, the man who brought them all together, and says, "Hey, I am retiring temporarily from superhero action. Following the events of the last few months, I need time to rest and recover.”

Fury nodded, replying, “I understand. You should take some time off for yourself. However, we’ll need you. So, come back soon.”

Having then hopped on his Harley-Davidson, a 1942 WLA “Liberator,” he donned his sunglasses and drove to Washington, DC. As soon as he arrived, he shook hands with the manager of the United States Postal Service (USPS). In the office, Steve expressed his desire to work as a mailman, and the manager was astonished.

“What for, Mr. Rogers?” the manager cried. “You are a hero to many of us. You shouldn’t be involved in a blue-collar job like this.”

Steve shook his head, and stated plainly, “ I understand that. However, saving the world isn’t enough for me. I want to connect with them, make children smile, help families reconcile, and I want to move around and be in touch with what the world looks like today.”

As he leaned towards the table, he continued, “Look, when I can protect America as a superhero, I can most certainly strive to connect with Americans that I’d sworn to protect by delivering mail.”

The very next day, in New York City, he completed his orientation program and wore a powder blue half sleeve shirt with the logo, dark blue trousers, and a black leather jacket. He painted the motorcycle in the country's colors and attached a box for carrying letters, money orders, and small packages. Over the next couple of weeks, he started going house to house, door to door, delivering mail, and this caught everyone off-guard.

He was glad that he could still draw well, so he used that to his advantage by drawing portraits of children with their pets, toys, and parents. This helped people feel more connected to him and his work and image as a superhero. Kids took pictures with him, parents thanked him, many were jealous of him, and many fawned over him. Well, except for you. You were looking at him from afar with ragged breath as your contempt for the Avengers, especially him, surfaced again.

One day, he’d walked over to your house to deliver mail, and he knocked on the door.

“I’m coming,” you cried out as your scuttling footsteps approached the door. When you opened the door with a smile, only for Steven to smile back, he was then met with a frown and a closed door. You then closed your ears with your hands, shrieking.

“Are you okay?” He inquired politely, continuing to knock on the door as he was curious about what had just happened. Is this Mr. (L/N)'s house? I've got mail for him.”

Suddenly, you felt the world turn red around you, as you screamed, “Yes, but he is no longer living here, and will never live forever because of you, so, please, leave!”

Perplexed, he walks out of the house and calls Tony Stark for help. He earned a deep sigh from Tony, who answered, saying, “What do you need, Capsicle?” Rolling his eyes, Steve inquired, “Listen, I need your help, specifically JARVIS’.”

Tony shook his head in surprise, rolled his eyes, and questioned, “What, why? I’m pretty helpful too, thank you very much.”

After Steve chuckled and explained everything, Tony replied, “So you basically want me to be your wingman.”

Scoffing, Tony continued, “Not interested.”

This causes Steve to take deep breaths and respond, “Look, Tony. I need help, okay? She seems to have a problem with me, and I want to know what happened that led to her harboring resentment against us.”

Rolling his eyes, Tony replied, “Fine. I’ll call you in a couple of minutes, old man.”

After a few minutes, Tony called Steve and said, "Oldie, this does not look good. The woman's name is (Y/N) (L/N). Remember how many buildings were near Stark Tower when Chitauri invaded the Earth? Her husband held a white-collar job around that time, and one of the enemies caused his death, and we fought those who came toward us, failing to save him. I can actually understand why she's upset.”

An hour later, Steve, racked with guilt, hung up the phone and slipped an envelope through the tear in your door. You opened the envelope to find a sketch of you and your husband, along with a letter in which Steve mentioned: “So, I just found out why you were angry with me. My heart breaks at the loss of your husband, and I wish I could have saved him. As a gesture of apology, I drew a sketch of you and your husband. In return, I would like to be able to provide you with closure if you could allow me to open the door.”

When you opened the door, puffy-eyed, you saw that Steve had gloves on his hands and gave you a small box. When you opened the box, you found a locket inside that you gave to your husband for your birthday. The locket was in the shape of a concentric circle, symbolizing a vinyl record. Having been big fans of vinyl records, you two always bought something related to it, including a locket. As you held the locket close to you, tears streamed down your cheeks. The burden on your shoulders eventually lightened, and you broke down in what felt like ages, with Steve consoling you by splaying his hand on your shoulder.

As Steve continued to go door to door, and encounter different groups of people while giving people their letters, they invited him to different homes, and he had barbecues at a couple of them, some of them even encouraging and praising him. That’s when you started going out more often, wishing everyone a good morning. One of the ladies even commented that you’d started becoming more cheerful, and that gave you a sense of relief. Then you had an encounter with Steve and thanked him for everything.

He then made sure to visit you now and then whenever he was done delivering letters, and you two would bond over glasses of Chateau Cheval Blanc and watch a couple of movies together, while you two shared stories of your upbringing. While he shared stories of his time with his family, Peggy, Howard Stark, Bucky, and Tony and the Avengers, you mentioned how you came to New York to work as a budding graphic designer and that you met your late husband at a success party in the company both of you were working on, and after you, two got married, you two moved to live in the suburbs while your husband went to work in the city. Over time, you two had gotten closer, something you didn’t imagine would happen.

One night, when Steve came to meet you, clad in a blue t-shirt, a brown leather jacket, and denim jeans, and with a serious look on his face, as you opened the door, he muttered, “(Y/N), we need to talk.”

You nodded and asked him to enter, with your gramophone playing a collection of songs that you’d curated. As he entered, he sighed, saying, “I hope you know that I still miss Peggy, right?”

You tilt your head in confusion, replying, “Yes, I do, the same way I miss my husband.”

He nods, continuing, “Okay, so we’re on the same page then. I’m also scared to commit to someone again. You know that, right?”

Raising an eyebrow, you inquire, “It is the same for me, but where are you going with this, Steve?”

With his arms around your neck and your arms on his side, you could hear both of your hearts beating faster. As you two draw into a kiss, with your eyes closed, and lips brushing against each other, Steve suddenly opens his eyes and takes a step back.

He then replies, “I have to go,” and walks out of the house, leaving you feeling restless, and impatient. What you were unaware of was that Steve had gone to see Peggy’s grave and visited her grave.

He then squatted and whispered, “Hey there, girlie. There’s this girl that I like, and I want to take it forward, but, Peggy, I’m,” his voice quivers.

Then he continues, “I’m scared. What if I lose her, the way I lost you? It would hurt all over again. If you could just give me a sign, your blessing, somehow, I shall go ahead and wait for you in alternate timeline. However, if you want me to wait for you, I can also do so, but just give me a sign.”

Someone faintly humming a song from afar caught his attention, the lyrics of which he recognized as “Everybody loves somebody, And although my dream was overdue, Your love made it well worth waiting, For someone like you…”

When his breathing relaxed, he felt that this was the sign he needed to continue. Looking at her resting place, he said, “thank you, girlie.”

An hour later, while you were pacing around in the living room, you hear a rustling sound, causing you to turn your attention to the door. An envelope slid from under the door again and this time when you picked it up and opened it, it looked like an invitation to come to a park.

Biting your lower lip in nervousness, you freshen up, get ready, and you get to the car to start it, taking you to the park. As you were told to walk to a certain area, your mouth gaped wide in shock to see a picnic blanket, some of your favorite snacks, hanging lights, and a couple of letters. However, you don’t see anyone. As you inspect the whole area, you hear someone asking you something.

“Do you like it?”

You then turn in the direction of the voice to find Steve walk to you with a smile on his face. With his eyes looking at you clad in your pink frilly long skirt, and white t-shirt, you run to him and hug him.

He then releases you from the hug, saying, “ I’m sorry that I got cold feet, (Y/N). I had to make sure that I could move on to start something anew with you. Truth be told, after everything that’s happened, I don’t ever want to take life for granted anymore and I don’t even know what would happen should I go back to becoming a superhero, but-”

to which you then interrupt him with a kiss on his lips, and you release yourself from it with your arms around his neck, then saying, “I know, Steve. I was upset that you walked out on me, ” causing them both to chuckle, and then you continue, “but, for what it’s worth, I’m glad that for now, you aren’t Captain America, but you’re Steve Rogers, a normal guy that went around delivering mail, and that way, you found your way to my heart.”

You then close the gap between your faces, your lips pressing onto each other, your arms around his neck and his arms on the sides of your waist, slowly dancing, with the moon bearing witness to a new love story blossoming. Who would’ve thought that both of you would get second chances at love again, all by the means of articulating words on a piece of paper? It thus felt true that everyone falls in love again and again, and when life gives you a second chance, you should never let it go.

tagging: @saintlike78 @beware-of-the-rogue @wakatshi @hyeque @akaashi-todorki @ceo-of-daichi @ambieux @thesecretwriter @moonbcrry

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