#lancaster
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Qrow: So, that blond kid.
Taiyang: What are you two?
Wolf Ruby: What do you mean?
Taiyang: I mean, what are you to him?
Ruby: Oh, I'm his bitch!
Qrow: ...
Taiyang: ...
Jaune: *Started running the nanosecond this conversation started*
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Yang: You guys wanna go get some d-e-s-s-e-r-t?
Ruby: Yeah dude! I need me a t-r-e-a-t?
Dog!Jaune: What're you guys talkin' about?
Blake: Yeah why did you guys just spell desser-
Ruby: Shut up don't say it!
Yang: Shh!
Blake: Uh, why?
Ruby: Oh God. How do we tell you this?
Yang: Jaune... Can't spell.
Blake: ...What?
Ruby: He can't spell. So when we talk about something he wants we spell it out loud so he doesn't get too excited.
Blake: He's a grown man! He can't handle hearing the word 'treat'?
Jaune, tail wagging: Treat?
Yang: No treat!
Jaune: Treat?
Yang: No treat!
Jaune: Treat?
Yang: No treat!
Jaune, ears drooping: Awww...
Blake: Okay, what is happening?
Yang: We told you! He gets excited when he hears the word t-r-e-a-t.
Jaune: Whatcha talkin' about?
Yang: Taxes
Jaune: Aw shucks!
Blake: So you guys just treat him like a toddler?
Jaune: Treat?
Ruby: No treat!
Jaune: Treat?
Ruby: No treat!
Jaune: Awwww...
Ruby: Dude, you gotta spell if you're talking about f-o-o-d.
Blake: Okay, so... Are we getting an s-n-a-c-k?
Jaune: Snack?
Ruby: Oh come on.
Yang: Dude, really?
Blake: Oh come on. I spelled it!
Ruby: Well he knows how to spell snack.
Blake: So he can spell snack, but he can't spell treat?
Jaune: Treat?
Blake: No treat!
Jaune: Treat?
Blake: No treat!
Jaune: Treat?
Blake: NO TREAT!
Jaune: God dammit!
Yang: Okay, he's getting fussy. Time for an n-a-p.
Jaune: Yeah!
Blake: What does n-a-p spell?
Jaune: Party!
#rwby#rwby shitpost#yang xiao long#ruby rose#jaune arc#blake belladonna#lancaster#rwby dragonslayer#sunlit knight#dog!faunus jaune#wolf!faunus ruby#wolf!faunus yang
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Weiss: What are you two doing?
Jaune: Me and Rube are doing stuff with Pyr.
Ruby: And Pyr very much like doing it real well~
Pyrrha whole face was hot red as she wore a t-shirt that said “I am stuff”.
Pyrrha: I am sorry!
Weiss:…
#my post#rwby#rwby shitpost#rwby gilded rose#rwby lancaster#rwby milk and cereal#gilded rose#lancaster#milk and cereal#jaune arc#weiss schnee#ruby rose#pyrrha nikos#shipping post#shipping shitpost#shipping#shitpost#dumb shit
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Jaune Finally Snapped...
Now, Finally at what seems to be the final moments of the world. Two figures stands in stark opposition to each other's. One is an all powerful malevolence witch that goes by the name of Salem, while the others is merely a humble knight named Jaune Arc. Armed with his trusty sword and shield, Jaune must now face off against the witch for the fate of the world.
*one epic fight scene later*
Salem: Ahhh!!!!
Well done. You may have defeated me hero, but you forget that I am immortal and I can't be killed. Nya, ha, ha, ha, ha....
*lop Salem limbs's off*
Gyahhh!!!!
What the fuck is the matter with you?! You already defeated me.
Jaune: I might not be able to finish you for good. But I can stop you from hurting anyone else.
Salem: Nye, he, he. But you forget hero my body can simply regenerate...
*starts to slowly regenerate*
Jaune: Which is why at the start of each day I'll cut off your limbs again.
Salem: Uhmmm....
Jaune: And I uh... I'll sharpen a pole. Stick it up inside you out through your mouth...
*starts sharpening pole*
And wear you on my back. Wriggling trophy for all to see...
Salem: What the fuck dude?!
You're a monster!
Meanwhile
Weiss: S-should we stop him?
Blake: Why? I mean we can't destroy Salem so we might as well do everything possible to stop her.
Yang: ... Is it wrong that I find this kinda hot?
Ruby: take a number Sis. I'mma gonna tap that ass first!
So Salem can't be destroyed, eh? Good to know, good to know...
I don't understand why team RWBY got so upset hearing that Salem can't be killed.
I'll just go full Yuji and see where things go from there.
#rwby#jaune arc#ruby rose#lancaster#lancaster rwby#jaune x ruby#ruby x jaune#rwby lancaster#yang xiao long#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#jaune x yang#yang x jaune#dragonslayer rwby#dragonslayer#rwby dragonslayer#salem rwby#yuji itadori#rwby shitpost#dungeon soup#this is canon
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Jaune: (Wearing Ruby's cape) Let's go, Ruby! It's time to go use our laser eyes and giant scythe to save the world~!
Pyrrha: (Wearing Ruby's cape) Of course, Ruby! After all, that's why we're here! To make it better~!
Ruby: (Pouting on the couch) ...Ruby has both your addresses.
Jaune: Of course you do, Ruby. We all live together are a functional three-pointed polycule!
Ruby: Both of you should keep one eye open tonight, or else you'll wake up with one hand warm water and your legs in warm sheets.
#rwby#pink-pone#scribbler productions#ruby rose#jaune arc#pyrrha nikos#gilded rose#lancaster#milk and cereal#arkos
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The taste of a dusty Knight is...
In the cafeteria, Jaune Arc is sitting with his friends and S/O (of your choosing) until he blurts out this:
Jaune: I wonder what I taste like?
What does your ship for Jaune say in response or what action do they take after hearing this?
And for shits n' giggles, here's some of my ships and their response.
______________________________________________________________
Nora's Arc
Nora: I can help with that~!
Jaune: Uhm, how?
Nora proceeds to slowly raise a gallon size bottle of maple syrup as she licks her lips, staring at Jaune hungrily.
Jaune: N-Nora...?
______________________________________________________________
Lancaster
Ruby proceeds to turn Jaune's head towards her and give him one long kiss, before releasing him from her grasp.
Jaune: visibly flustered and spechless
Ruby, licking her lips: You taste good, just not as good as cookies.
Jaune: ...Wanna see if that'll change.
Ruby: Hmm, gladly.
______________________________________________________________
Arkos (plus Dragonslayer)
Pyrrha: O-Oh... I mean if you wish to know so badly, I could-
Before Pyrrha could finish her sentence, Yang swoops in and kisses Jaune heavily before pulling away and licking her lips.
Yang: Ironically, not like vomit. Maybe I'll go in for seconds~
Pyrrha however pushes Yang away and kisses a now stunned Jaune for longer, slowly pulling away as she had the same stunned look.
Yang: Wow Py, didn't know you had it in you! Pyrrha?
Pyrrha: ...so this is heaven.
Jaune: U-Uhm, so how do I taste?
Yang: Like a dream
Pyrrha: Like I want to have more of you
Jaune: What was that Pyrrha?
Pyrrha: NOTHING!
______________________________________________________________
Now since those are done, write away on how your ship would react!
#rwby#rwby shitpost#jaune arc#ruby rose#nora valkyrie#pyrrha nikos#yang xiao long#arkos#nora's arc#rwby lancaster#lancaster#dragonslayer
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Jaune: Told my kids I couldn't find the hot cocoa powder to which four year old Garnet said 'maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed?' Which is a suspiciously specific theory.
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Ruby: Take a good look at my spartan angel new tattoo on her ass~!
Jaune: Tada!
Jaune turned his startled girlfriend and flipped her skirt up and her underwear down to reveal her tattoo to their individual teammates.
Weiss: How shameless!
Blake: Nice~
Yang: *heartbroken* Ruby used to like Saturday morning cartoons….
Nora: *smirk* To think that we thought you were the wholesome one in our group….
Ren: I owe Nora 500 lien now thanks to you.
Pyrrha face was red in shame as she looked down at the ground as she tried to covered her new tattoo “Invincibutt” on her asscheeks while her two lovers were standing on each side of her.
Pyrrha: S-sorry!
#my post#rwby#rwby smut#rwby shitpost#team rwby#team jnpr#rwby arkos#rwby milk and cereal#rwby gilded rose#rwby lancaster#lancaster#gilded rose#milk and cereal#original male stud au#shipping#shipping post#Invincibutt#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#ruby rose#nora valkyrie#ren lie#jaune arc
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horces
lancaster is the baby foal of giant horce earthmover and im right
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Jaune: *Wearing a turtleneck*Good morning Mom!
Mama Arc: Who left hickeys on your neck?
Jaune: I don't know what you mean.
Mama Arc: *Pulls the turtle neck down, revealing many, many hickeys* Really? You Don't know what I mean?
Jaune: *Sweating* ...
Mama Arc: ... Is that Lipstick?
Jaune: WOW! LOOK AT THE TIME I HAVE TO GO-
*RRRRIIIIIIIPPPPP*
Mama Arc: ...
Jaune: *Covered in Red, Ice Blue, Purple, Yellow, Bronze, Pink, and Green lipstick marks* ...
Ruby: Good Morning!
Weiss: Good Morning Missus Arc!
Blake: Good Morning.
Yang: Morning!
Pyrrha: Hello~ Good morning~
Nora: WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAC-EY!
Ren: *Nods*
#rwby#jaune arc#mama arc#ruby rose#yang xiao long#weiss schnee#rwby shitpost#blake belladonna#pyrrha nikos#nora valkyrie#lie ren#lancaster#whiteknight#knightshade#dragonslayer#arkos#nora's arc#martial arcs#jaune harem
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Space Shuttle Challenger towed by a custom-made big rig through Lancaster, California, July 1982. Photo by George R. Fry.
(UCLA)
#space shuttle#challenger#space#history#california#nasa#big rig#18 wheeler#semi#truck#lancaster#1982#1980s
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Weiss: Are you sure we aren't going to get lost?
Jaune: Don't worry, I know this trail like I know Ruby's back.
RWBY: ...
Yang: What do you mean by that, Jaune?
Jaune: Umm.
Yang: ANSWER ME!
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Can we get Jaune,Penny,Jessica, and their kids in the scooby doo van please?
Tadaa
#rwby#rwby shitpost#jaune arc#ruby rose#penny polendina#jessica cruz#lancaster#rwby knightlight#arculus rift#arculus rose#trafficknight#four way traffic light#penelope arc rose#clementine rose arc#dahlia rose arc#catherine arc cruz#maryanne polendina arc#rwbabies
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Locker Room
Ruby: W-Why do we have to have co-ed locker rooms?
Weiss: It is a rather odd design choice.
Blake: Do you think you're always going to have privacy in the field?
Yang: No, but it's easier to wash when people aren't-
Jaune: *Walks through naked* Nora, did you steal my towel again?
Nora: It's so fluffy~.
Jaune: Well give it back!
RWBY: ...
Ruby: Maybe it won't be so bad.
Weiss: The design seems to have it's advantages.
Blake: I've seen horse faunus less hung than that.
Yang: Guess I'll be the one doing the staring this time.
#rwby#rwby shitpost#rwby smut#pollinated knight#lancaster#whiteknight#knightshade#dragonslayer#jaune arc#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#nora valkyrie
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Ruby Have Disturbing Politics...
Ruby: I wuv you Jaune... 🥰
Jaune: Not as much as I wuv you.
Ruby: No, no. Ich Liebe dich my beautiful French boy. 👦 🥖
Jaune: Je'taime Ruby. My cute little German girl... Now if you would excuse me. I have to make dinner.
*walks away while swaying his big beautiful butt*
Ruby: Ughhhh.....🥵
YOLO! 😫
*slaps*
Jaune: Ouch! Ruby what the Frick?
Ruby: Uhh.... Elsaß-Lothringen rightfully belongs to Germany? 😣
Jaune: *gasp*
A few moments later
#rwby#jaune arc#ruby rose#lancaster#lancaster rwby#jaune x ruby#ruby x jaune#rwby lancaster#jaune is french#ruby is german#rwby shitpost
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Family
Yang: So... You and Jaune, huh?
Ruby: Yeah..? What about it?
Yang: I'm just saying... Blond hair, blue eyes, emotionally troubled. Kinda sounds like Dad, doesn't it?
Ruby: ...Okay. We're doing this, huh? What about you and Blake?
Yang: What about me and Blake? Blake's nothing like Mom.
Ruby: Which one? Do you mean Mom Mom, or do you mean the Feudal Mistral looking, dark-haired woman who abandoned her team for "personal reasons" AND has ties to a violent, anti-government group?
Yang: ...
Ruby: Yeah. That's what I thought.
**********************************************
Meanwhile...
Jaune: What do you think our girlfriends are doing?
Blake: Probably sibling things.
Jaune: ...Okay, I need you to be a little more specific with what you mean by that. Because in my experience, sibling things means-
**********************************************
Meanwhile Meanwhile...
Yang: (Ruby in a headlock) TAKE IT BACK!
Ruby: (Pulling Yang's hair) YOU FIRST!
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