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daportalpractitioner · 4 months

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mommy's moon sign: a thread ☾ part two — libra thru pisces

if you're looking for part one (aries-virgo), then click here

libra moon: if your mom has a libra moon, she could have been more preoccupied with her relationship with your father rather than putting herself in a position to be focused on her pregnancy + preparing a balanced environment for you. libra moon mamas often go through it with the father of the baby if they prematurely decide to have kids outside of wedlock (we don't judge over here). your mom could have been more focused on the aesthetics of motherhood + also on you being able to have both parents under one roof to be able to fit her ideal family picture. this mentality could have led her to distract herself from the bigger picture which is making sure that she is in a healthy, fulfilling relationship with your father. i wouldn't be surprised if you knew more than you should have when it comes to your parents' relationship as a child. with libra being the sign of relationships, the relationship patterns that your mother exhibited when pregnant with you could have been something that you picked up on, whether it be healthy or unhealthy. beware of issues with co-dependency + people pleasing passed down from your mom as those are big themes that must be overcome in the life of a libra moon mama. libra moon mamas hold a lot of resentment due to being so passive about people overstepping their boundaries + could project that pain onto you if it remains undealt with. as her child, she may be triggered by her relationship with you because she sees you as her mirror. encourage her to have strong boundaries. it's okay for her to say no and she won't be hated for it. respect her decisions. be sure not to be the child that coddles her emotions at the end of the day because she is a grown ass woman, but you should affirm her that it is okay to self-validate without trying to over-rationalize however she feels so that she can move through her emotions + not be avoidant.

scorpio moon: the moon is in a debilitating position (fall) when in scorpio, therefore, it isn't uncommon for women to have a painful pregnancy due to all of the trauma being stored in the womb. your scorpio moon mama may have lived in a state of fear or distrust during her pregnancy + i wouldn't be surprised if she felt alone due to not trusting people. this lack of nurture within the womb was definitely passed down to you if she didn't take accountability to heal from the pain that she experienced. scorpio moon mama would kill to make sure that all your needs are met, but when it comes to handling intense emotions, she may have not known how to navigate those with you (similar to capricorn moon mothers). scorpio moons experience a wounded relationship with their own mother + now that it's their turn to be a mom, they want to be better for their children. motherhood is definitely something that transformed them for the better + they really have the make a conscious effort to not display the same patterns that hurt their inner child. be patient with her + even though you are not responsible for her emotions + how she handles them, provide a safe space for her so that she knows that she is not alone. having emotional boundaries with your mother is also important — not having those boundaries with her can manifest into perpetuating a preoccupied/anxious attachment within yourself.

sagittarius moon: sagittarius moon moms usually end up unexpectedly pregnant. i've noticed that a lot of sag moons are not aware of their cycle which can definitely be responsible for unexpected pregnancies. nonetheless, their pregnancy + motherhood is something they ended up being excited about. they could have had a "fuck it, we ball" mentality because realistically speaking, such is life. lack of preparation could have led to instability in your mother's life while she was pregnant + even after giving birth, bouncing around from place to place. sagittarius moon mamas usually have a youthful + humorous personality, being able to relate with their children + make them laugh. it can be hard to take a sagittarius moon mother seriously because they're usually deemed as the "cool moms" that are very lenient with their children. they can often struggle with disciplining their children because of their own free-spirit nature. if your mother didn't prioritize structure + routine while raising you, it's possible that you downloaded that naturally chaotic, fiery, and unpredictable energy that she also has. sagittarius moon mamas need to be able to teach their children that there are consequences to their actions so that their kids don't end up getting in trouble later on in life or even dangerous situations. hold your own mother accountable for her actions + don't be afraid to put her in her place! she has a lot to learn from her experience as a mother, which includes listening to the ones that she birthed.

capricorn moon: capricorn moon mothers usually have children later on in life (not always though) - either way, the universe granted them their babies when they were ready + prepared to take on this mission as a mother. before motherhood, capricorn moon mommies could have performed the motherly role in other ways (eldest sister, nursing/doctor/healer career, etc etc) so this is not their first rodeo. capricorn moons get a reputation for being cold + stern, which is how they may come across but really they are just not about the bullshit + they take their role as a mother very seriously. they recognize how serious motherhood is and therefore you are going to respect the fuck out of your capricorn mother, even if you don't agree with some of the things that she has tried to instill in you. capricorn moon mothers are focused on legacy + will do her best to make sure that she raises well-rounded children, setting them up for success. so if you have the kind of mother that has tried to shove education + career down your throat, it's because she just wants you to be successful. they also may struggle with being in their feminine energy, especially if your mother is the provider in the house so as her child, you should encourage her to do some therapeutic activities with you to ease some of that stress. though she takes her role as a mother very seriously, there is no denying how stressful the role is on her + can really take a toll on her physical body. if she's open to it because i know how traditional capricorn moons can be, i highly recommend going to therapy together in order to unpack + heal some of those deep seated emotional blockages that can really help to improve + strengthen the family unit.

aquarius moon: these are the unorthodox mothers. the mothers that have instilled confidence in their children from a very early age. your mother may have gotten pregnancy at an awkward time in her life, therefore she realized that she had to start getting real strategic around here to ensure success for this nu era in her life. with an aquarius moon mother, there may have been some distance between you two, whether it be physical or emotional distance. i've noticed that people with aquarius moon mothers were raised by their grandparents or were adopted + don't really know their mother like that (along with pisces moon mamas). if your mother was present throughout your entire upbringing, you may have noticed that she was preoccupied with other tasks such as showing up for her tasks in the real world. there could be strain between you and your mother because you may have felt like she could have paid more attention to you. regardless of how your relationship with your mother manifested, you more than likely came out to be very independent + confident enough to march to the beat of your own drum. these are the moms that started cursing in front of their kids since they were babies. because aquarius moon mamas are very independent themselves, you could have felt like your aquarius moon mama robbed you of your childhood because you too had to learn how to become independent + self-reliant from a young age, resulting in inner child wounds. because the relationship that you have with your mother is not like the traditional mother-child relationship, she can come off more like a friend or an older sister, also resulting in mother wounds because of that lack of motherly nurturance that the child craves + needs. learning to become emotionally vulnerable + transparent with your mother is a theme in order to evolve the relationship. validate where you feel like she may have lacked while also respecting the fact that she did the best that she knew how to. she needs you as someone to hold her ego accountable.

pisces moon: similar to the aqua moon mom, your mother may have been there, but also not "there". there could have been a period in your life where your mother was not physically present + you had to be raised by someone other than her (grandparents, foster care, aunts/uncles, etc). your mother may not have been in the most ideal situation when she got pregnant with you + pregnancy could have also been a karmic consequence for not listening to her intuition. regardless, when she knew she was pregnant, there was no way she could give up the opportunity to be a mother. if your mom was physically away from you, she was always there in spirit, praying for you + making sure that you are spiritually protected even if it's just by asking the powers that be to watch over you. like the other water moons, pisces moon mama may have had a traumatic relationship with their mother + may have transferred over that pain into the relationship that you've had with your mom. having a pisces moon mommy is not for the weak, especially if she didn't do her due diligence of karmic clean up, leaving it for you to take responsibility for. pisces moon mamas may also avoid the accountability + the responsibility of being a mother because the weight of motherhood is just too heavy, especially if she has lack of support, which often times they do. regardless of how your relationship is with mom, the energetic bond runs so deep as you are strongly karmically bound in order for certain karmic missions to be completed. definitely not the most reliable mom, but at the end of the day, it will forever be all love when it comes to her children. it's best to just accept her as is - whatever has transpired is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to do better for your own life.

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cyb3rtarot · 6 months

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What Messages are Coming Through in Your Dreams?

Disclaimer: tarot readings are not replacements for professional advice. Take what resonates; don’t force a reading to fit. This is just a look into some of the energies in your dreams, not a comprehensive reading of what all your dreams mean. I used a recolored Smith-Waite, Tarot of Mystical Moments, Zerner-Farber Tarot, Oracle of the Radiant Sun, the Chakra Oracle, and runes.

pile 1↝pile 2 pile 3↝pile 4

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Pile 1:

Cards: four of wands, the hermit, empress rx, flattery (Venus in Gemini, 3rd house)|| exaltation (Moon in Taurus, 2nd house), queen of swords sideways, sharing (queen of action), completion, page of pentacles rx, page of swords, Ehwaz rune

The Dreams: hi pile one! Your energy came through strongly so your dreams could be more intense and vivid right now. You could also be having more bad dreams. You may feel like you’re in another realm or some kind of fantasy world while sleeping. In these dreams you could feel little control over anything or like you’re a different person. Like you’re “you” but feeling the experience of someone else. This could include very strong emotions. For example, melancholy you don’t feel while awake. Your dreams could be lonely during this time; you may frequently end up by yourself, others are far away, or they turn on you (one scenario I’m seeing is getting ostracized at a party). You might also feel like you’re having similar dreams repeatedly. Some of you are flip-flopping between these deeper dreams and lighthearted ones. Despite the contents, some of you are using dreams and sleep as an escape or coping mechanism.

Themes that could be common in your dreams right now: the moon (especially full), night time, the beach/ocean, planets in the sky. Palm trees, masculine side characters (one recurring in particular), sports jerseys, crying, flowing robes, pregnancy (especially a sudden one), gas stations, corner/convenience stores, brown or brick buildings, a different country, gray clouds or white skies, eating snacks, being a side piece or cheated on, feeling unappreciated, being ostracized or abandoned, a new family, being lied to, real life conflicts or enemies, the dream starting good and turning bad

The Messages: your subconscious is processing a lot right now which is partly why your dreams seem fantastical and out of control. But your dreams are also reflecting conscious fear. There’s a sense of imprisonment in your own mind while awake and it continues in your dreams. Huge themes in your cards are fertility, birth, and abundance. For a chunk of you, this is literal as I was picking up on a pregnancy around 5-9 months. But in general, your dreams are portraying something coming into fruition or being birthed, like something you’ve wanted or worked really hard on for a long time. The cycle is almost complete, but at this last step there’s hesitancy on your end. There’s a split between people in this pile who are making big physical changes like moving, starting a family etc, versus people who have gone through a big internal transformation and are holding onto limiting beliefs (overlapping for many). Whatever developments are coming feel inevitable and time-based; I don’t think you’re “blocking” it. But I do feel like there's a lot of present joy you can partake in if only you will accept it. I am never encouraging you to not think or to do something that’s toxic for you, I am only encouraging you to find a healthy balance between your rational and emotional sides :] When you deny yourself comfort or joy hopefully it’s for a strong reason, not because you’re afraid to be happy. I do see a lot of you have done significant shadow and healing work already, and now you’re in a transitory period. There’s also highly personal signs in your dreams, some from your guides. Your dreams are showing you one half of a story or sentence. You’re being encouraged to fill the other half through your own analysis instead of accepting your dreams as the full picture. It’s important to be realistic with this; don’t immediately take the worst case scenario of your nightmares and say it must be real life lol

Extra Details: just went through an upsetting time, Brazil, dark hair, love interest from another culture, very bright blue eyes, disappointment in love, a brother energy or friend who’s like a brother, Japan, Portugal, conflict with friends/family/neighbors (all 3 at once for some), mermaids, weddings, photoshoots, 4444, fear of abandonment due to trauma. One or some of you experienced a miscarriage in the past and you may be projecting that trauma onto future hopes for a family. For others this is fear caused by something you really wanted falling through and an opportunity to try again. Experiencing healthy, loyal love after toxic past love. Creative projects. Travel delays. Visas. 90 day fiancé?

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Pile 2:

Cards: two of wands, king of pentacles, seven of pentacles, birth (Venus in Cancer, 4th house)|| five of cups rx, ten of pentacles rx, ace of cups rx, friendship (Moon in Cancer, 4th house), the world, Jera rune

The Dreams: hello pile two! Like pile one I see your dreams feeling lonely, though for you it does seem like there are people talking to you in them. These dreams could feel very nostalgic, melancholic, or empty, as if you’re in your own world. I’m also seeing disappointment—dreams where you are longing for something deeply. Dreams where you experience a taste of what you want in real life, and they make you feel worse when you wake up. You might not even get to enjoy those moments. They could feel aimless, like there’s no plot or point to them. I see scenes where people are talking to you, but it seems like both of you don’t really want to be there. Like everyone’s nihilistic or apathetic. The dreams could also be extremely beautiful but you don’t notice it at the time. You could dream about people and places you loved in your youth, even fictional ones. Some of you might feel like you’re playing a game or in a game in your dreams? If you felt drawn to pile one I encourage you to take a look!

Themes that could be common in your dreams right now: childhood home or town, driving down long roads, bright/pretty sunsets, the ocean/coast, small towns or villages, dreams centered on conversations, friends and love interests you don’t know in real life or from childhood, video games, something out of grasp, pregnancy, travel, expensive cars, walking down the street, everyone being unhappy, the countryside, feeling used, being rich, being in a relationship, the Sun as an odd color (like purple), young children

The Messages: you guys have an energy of mourning in two different ways. One, mourning for a part of yourself that was lost from your earlier youth, or something left behind. There might be a loss of innocence, wonder, or happiness; a natural self acceptance that no longer comes easy to you. On the other side of this, I see some of you have lost people who were important when you were younger. For some this is due to a passing, but for others the relationship came to a close. Whatever this perceived lack is, it weighs heavily and comes through your dreams in the form of beautiful but melancholic nostalgia. The good times are right there, but you can’t fully enjoy them. Dreams where people are unhappy, apathetic, or ticked off could reflect a falling out, feeling like you let someone down (including yourself), or that you can’t make amends. Your dreams are a reminder that it’s the natural progression of life for things to end and begin anew. This doesn’t lessen the burden, but as time keeps moving so do you. Grieve and feel your feelings, learn lessons, but remember there’s still life for you to enjoy. There are new things to be found. Try heavy-handed self-compassion and forgiveness. Though there’s a focus on what’s no longer there, there’s a sense of acceptance. A few of you have just come out of a heavy healing period and might be feeling things you haven't felt since childhood. Or, you may suddenly remember things from childhood.

Extra Details: 555, longing for a better life, RPG games (particularly JRPGs), racing or racing games, vintage, having lived with a friend or relative of similar age to you, having lived near water, feeling like the world is changing too much, periwinkle, a child passing (already happened. A cousin or sibling?), going to therapy or being a therapist, a falling out with multiple friends (I’m mostly getting two friends), feeling numb, lonely, a friend who always wears their hair in a ponytail, a masculine friend with dark, big hair and glasses, empty villages, Japan, regressing. I see a lack of adult presence in childhood. Growing up, you might’ve felt like you only had those few friends or cousins to depend on, even though you were too young to take care of each other.

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Pile 3:

Cards: Temperance, four of wands, the Empress rx, devotion (Saturn in libra, 7th house), consciousness rx, devotion, traveling, the outsider rx, new vision rx|| king of wands sideways, king of pentacles sideway, the emperor, the high priestess, the emperor rx, defense (Mars in Taurus, 2nd house), seven of wands rx, Tiwaz rune

The Dreams: hi pile three! I feel like you guys are not remembering dreams as much right now, or only remembering fragments. There are more nights where you feel like you didn’t dream. This is my pile that’s astral projecting at bed time, and this is part of why I picked up on less dreams (both purposeful and not. Some of you just started doing this). Whether through the astral or your dreams, you’re having adventures that are opposite your real life experience. I see you guys having dreams others may think scary—like being chased, but you’re just vibing. There’s a sense of being stuck, trapped, or stagnant in real life; there’s also a lack of understanding and denial about your desires. Your dreams are fulfilling repressed wants by sending you to any and everything you don’t do in real life. The subconscious aspect of your desires is partly why so many fantastical elements make their way into this other life. Many of you also like watching and reading speculative genres (particularly horror, sci-fi, and fantasy), and this is also why those elements are in your dreams. Your dreams seem like a means of escape and fun to balance your day and night. To combat feeling trapped, you could have dreams of running far away from a creature, or exploring somewhere beautiful. A specific part of this pile has dreams of being in romantic relationships, and while you may genuinely not want one right now, it could represent another desire such as socialization. Your day and night are actual opposites haha. This was strange but there was a strong pull between this pile and pile 4, I felt like some of you have friends that would be in pile 4 (or you may resonate with some details yourself if you feel drawn to it).

Themes that could be common in your dreams right now: night time/full moons, fantasy creatures and companions (I saw green goblins? And vampires), historical settings, castles, feeling creepy, eerie emptiness, bats, forests, villages or towns (especially empty ones), pine trees, green meadows and hills, bright flowers, butterflies, cabins, scary situations but not feeling scared, theaters or plays (red curtains?), places that look like fairytales, being attracted to a character in the dream (even the bad guys lol), people you know as background characters, real life events replaying with different outcomes

Messages: your dreams or astral travels are a reminder of your real life potential! You guys don’t always have to hold the fort down. I feel like you portray an easygoing attitude and convince yourself you’re just okay with whatever. There are many highly spiritual people in this group, and you may feel like physical life doesn’t matter as much because your spiritual life has the real depth. But the astral and dream world are not meant to replace the 3D world. Your capacity to have these experiences is proof that you have amazing things in you, and if you wish, you can seek amazement in the waking world too. It’s very much within your capacity! I also feel like some of you guys have a “duty,” like there’s a constant responsibility you shoulder (or that you’re assigned), and you feel like you should just accept it peacefully. Your sense of duty is wonderful, but please also have one towards yourself! A lot of you guys want to travel internationally and the main blockage is your own self limits.

Extra Details: Latino (specifically Mexican for a chunk of you), Eastern Europe, Germany, 414, Titanic (the movie? You might find it romantic), “hit the road,” Indigenous American, travel list, familial responsibility, dissatisfied with a job, straight brown or black hair (reaches top of back), big eyes, stressed but can’t tell under the numbness, going through the motions, feeling on the defense or like a side character in your own life, having a job to pay bills but not a career, wanting to run away, feeling like your spiritual skills are developing too fast, rubbing hands on face when stressed (I see someone standing in a hallway outside their boss’ office, rubbing their face and then carrying on), literally taking the trash out (during the night, or to a dumpster in an alley?), over-sacrificing oneself, court or legal matters (including working in law), believing in fairies, or astral travels involving fairies, fairy rings near ponds?

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Pile 4:

Cards: egotism (mars in leo, 5th house), eight of swords rx, ten of pentacles rx, the lovers rx,|| truthfulness (throat chakra), imagination (brow chakra), riches (saturn in capricorn, 10th house), fulfillment (saturn in sagittarius, 9th house), the fool, eight of wands, eight of pentacles, nine of pentacles, king of swords, the magician, Fehu rune

The Dreams [CW for creepiness]: hi pile four! First I’ll say there was a strong link between this pile and pile 3, so if you feel drawn to it maybe check it out! There are similarities with you two having dreams with fantastical creatures popping up, and having dreams that others would deem as nightmares. You might also only remember little fragments right now. However, I feel you guys out of all the piles are having the most actual nightmares. I saw dreams that started out nice and calm then suddenly flip. There could be random characters popping up out of nowhere that don’t match the dream at all, like clowns or mascots. You might also have a lot of dreams where you feel watched, or are being watched by something in the background. Dreams where you feel a strong need to escape; you might feel preyed upon, followed, or anxious. It mostly seems like any weird things in your dream just “linger” instead of actually harming you, though there might be the occasional attempt. There’s also a strong sense of nostalgia, but tainted? Like you can’t enjoy it because of whatever else is going on, or it’s a reminder of what’s been lost as you’ve grown up. These dreams feel like you’re often alone except for whatever is loitering around you. Or when there’s someone else there, it’s like they’re kind of flat? Like a memory being replayed. A lot of you guys could dream of your grandmother. You might have dreams that actually look like “dreamcore.”

Themes that could be common in your dreams right now: beautiful places (I’m seeing a village by a gigantic mountainside, very bright blue skies, fluffy white clouds), cozy homes/cabins, grandmacore, cooking or eating, bananas?, PB&J?, having extremely different dreams everyday or in one night, scary creatures just standing there, feeling like you have to fight or survive, friends or partners from years before, caves, grimace??, eyes (floating eyes?), shadows, jumpscares

The Messages: Your cards got me riled up! I feel like a good chunk of your life, maybe up until right now, has been very tumultuous. You had to hold on and just find strength to survive, and this caused you to repress a lot. Your dreams are calling you to face what you’ve repressed—your shadow—because you are quickly entering a completely different era. It feels like all the ways you’ve had to struggle and fight are going to start giving way to a new life filled with things that bring fulfillment or contentment. I’m not sure exactly what these blessings are but they spoke of freedom, abundance, and new opportunities. It did seem like these are blessings you’ll bring about by your own hand instead of completely unexpected ones. Despite how off-putting or strange your dreams may be, they are prompting you to resolve things from the past that would make the future difficult to appreciate. We all carry scars, but doing our best to heal them will allow us to create a more joyful existence. What are the things you’ve pushed deep down that have been begging to come out? I do feel like some of you have been manipulated into staying silent, maybe about the way you were treated and harmed, and this has created a stifled feeling. I don’t know your individual situation, but I greatly wish for you to find a space where you can safely and truthfully exist. If you feel you need the help of a professional to do healing work or to escape any dangerous situations please research what’s accessible to you!!

Extra Details [TW abuse mention]: swears a lot, childhood trauma or abuse (some of you are still in contact with harmful people from your childhood and this is influencing you), Central Europe or Belgium, very close to a grandmother (especially one who’s passed), blockages in throat energy (could have trouble speaking up for yourself, saying what you mean, stumbling on words, or you REALLY want to talk about something), toxic or abusive friends, having no one to support you, you might just want to scream, seeing sequential numbers (like 234) or 8 a lot, feeling pulled towards a career where you use your voice or express yourself (writer, singer, motivational speaker, artist, communications), absent parents, a great new job or financial opportunity, lots of astral projection and lucid dreaming in this pile but also physically moving and traveling (some of you could go look at places you want to travel to in the astral or dream realm lol, or some of you AP into space? Cool. I also see someone AP-ing or lucid dreaming somewhere with a lot of vegetation), environmental activism, your childhood home or town being renovated/changed, rectangular glasses (thin frame), major Capricorn or Saturn in chart. If you already felt drawn to pile 2, you may resonate with it also.

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jadeddangel · 2 months

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hi there, could I get alastor, adam and lucifer with a reader that has pica (if you don't know what that is it is where a person can tend to eat or bite on things not edible, like paper, erasers, eca)

Yup!! I have an oral fixation so this sounds pretty similar

Reader w/ Pica! Or an oral fixation Headcannons

Alastor🦌:

Oh boy

When he died that wasn't much awareness about things like this

So honestly at first we was disgusted seeing you chew on something that wasn't meant to be chewed on

Alastor probably ignored it at first but got annoyed after it just kept happening

He finally asked you after a bit

Honestly he didn't understand at first but tried his best

He probably just watches to make sure you don't swallow anything dumb (like an eraser)

He literally doesn't try to help you stop the behavior or give you something to help

Let's be honest alastor probably still finds it annoying but he also finds it amusing

I mean who the fuck do you know that can eat the metal part off of a pencil and be fine? Yea that's right no one

He probably hands you things to see if you'll chew on them

"Doll your chewing on the pencil here let me get you a new one" alastor said calmly making you realize you had gnawed on it till you saw the led

Alastor took the old one and placed the fish pencil in your hand "there all fixed" alastor mused patting your head before lounging back into his seat

And he shows this behavior with all different objects it doesn't really matter what kind

At first you probably thinks it's cause he cares about you and wants you to get stuff done that he gives you new stuff

After long enough, however, you put the pieces together

You never called him out though, scared of possible repercussions

He knows you know, but he's definitely satisfied with the fact you fear him so much

Adam😇:

Oh, you're female? He's mocking you

Oh, you're male? He's mocking you

Non-binary? You don't even exist to him

He's the kind of person that will just hand you things to see if you'll chew on it

The kind of guy that buys you edible play dough just to make sure your not making yourself sick

He buys pencils in bulk so if your sitting next to him and you start chewing on your pencil he has spares

If your his lover he jokingly teases that you can chew on his dick

He starts picking up on your chewing habits

He notices that when you get stressed it gets worse

Probably bought you a teething ring as a joke but gets really surprised if you actually use it

"Hey there's my pretty little piece of ass!- wait no put the fucking play dough down" Adam scolded walking closer and taking the container of play dough from you before reaching into his massive pocket and pulling out a container of homade edible playdough and putting it in your hand "no." Adam said again

And that's he showed that he cared about you.

Won't really yell at you if you keep chewing on things that could Hurt you but will definitely raise his voice

He once even gave you his hand to fiddle with and chew on his fingers so you didn't hurt yourself by chewing on other things

He treats you like a baby who wants to eat everything

Lucifer🐤:

Makes things for you to chew on

Asks what your favorite animal is and makes things themed that you can chew on

He probably chews on things when he gets focused so you guys kinda keep eachother in check

Hes so sweet about it too

Like say you were chewing on an eraser you were holding onto

He would just grab your wrist so softly like you were fragile glass and pull her hand away from your mouth

"Little apple remember we shouldn't chew on things that aren't healthy or aren't going to hurt our bodies" Lucifer spoke softly so no one would overhear you two talking. Lucifer pulled your wrist towards him and prying the eraser from you carefully before placing a small pencil he made with your favorite animal on the top. The animal was a tough durable material so you could chew and it wouldn't cause any harm to it. Or to you for that matter.

He's so sweet about it, having raised Charlie and having to deal with her teething faze, and her crying if he even scolded her a little too mean.

If you don't listen the first time he asks you to stop chewing on something that may be detrimental to your health he tries his best to stay patient

He has excellent patience as long as your not hurting anyone important to him but then again you're important to him (that's why he tries so hard to stop you)

He's always watching over you and making sure you aren't getting hurt so if you chew on anything that may really hurt you he may actually scold you

He doesn't yell either he's just extremely firm in his way of speech and anything he says

If he hurts your feelings, he's immediately apologizing and trying to hug you

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rowretro · 3 months

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YANDERE ENHYPEN REACTION:

You try the orange peel theory on them.

✧taglist: @httpsrinrin

✧warnings: toxic/yandere themes, mentions of harassment

✧synopsis: Yandere Enhypen as your boyfriend. You recently saw a few videos on tik tok about the orange peel theory so you decided to try it on him, curious about his reaction...

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

✧LEE HEESEUNG✧

The male frowned, seeing you record on your phone, heck he was curious. You weren't the type to often post anyways. However, when you asked him to get you an orange the male was even more confused. "I thought you hated oranges-" Heeseung pointed out as the girl looked up at him "I know, but now I'm craving them" the girl said as Heeseung shrugged.

Heeseung peeled an easy peel orange for her and gave it, as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "You need anything else princess?" he asked as the girl shook her head, smiling up at him. "Hol up... are you recording this? why?" The male asked as she stopped recording the video "It was... just a tik tok trend-" she said as the male sighed.

✧PARK JONGSEONG✧

Jay would do anything to spoil you and you know it. Yet being locked in this great big mansion does have you feeling bored sometimes, so you decided to try this trend with him "Jay~" You called as the male ignored you "Baby~" you called again as he turned to you with a smile "what can I do you for pretty princess~" Jay said with a smile as the girl giggled.

"Can I have some oranges?" the girl asked as jay immediately got 2 oranges, peeling them and separating them onto a dish, making a heart shape. "You could've asked for something other than oranges- I'm a good cook you know- let me spoil you with my food~" The male said as he gave her the oranges. The girl smiled, hugging him.

✧SIM JAEYUN✧

The male knew exactly what you were up to. Please. Him and Niki spend so much time on tik tok, they've come across this videos a few times, so it's no surprise to him when you ask. He feels a little betrayed by the fact that you're testing him, but he didn't dwell on it knowing he could use this so called test against you. Heck he even put the fruit bowl near you.

"Babe can you hand me an orange?" you ask as Jake frowns, acting oh so believably "uh sure?" he says, taking an orange and peeling it for you "Here, need anything else?" he asked as the girl just hugged him. "Why are you recording this... hold on is this a test???" he asks as the phone finishes recording. Oh how he looked so upset and betrayed. You were buying every second of it, and he loved that because now he can be even more manipulative.

✧PARK SUNGHOON✧

Sunghoon was there when you saw the video. You were watching a Rebal D youtube video where he reacted to things that seemed so wild. Heck he saw how you reacted to the videos that were shown. So it was no surprise that you'd try it on him. The man was already making something in the kitchen when you started recording at the dining table.

"Babe can you gimme an orange?" you asked as Sunghoon frowned "but- I'm making us one of them fancy orange drinks, yk the orange creme dream or whatever it is-" Sunghoon asked as the girl blinked. "If you really want one then I can give you one, but that orange won't taste as good as what I'm making... you know I'm telling the truth I have experience as a barsita-" Sunghoon added as you snickerred, taking his drink instead.

✧KIM SUNOO✧

You were going to see the brand new saw movie because you heard it was pretty controversial, people had thrown up at the theatre during the movie. But Sunoo was taking a little while getting ready, hence you thought it'd be the perfect time to test a theory. It's pretty ironic actually, given that you fell in love with him after he murderred the man that harassed you and kidnapped you to force you into being his love. So yes very healthy.

"Babe can u gimme an orange?" you asked as Sunoo stared at you with wide eyes "You want to eat an orange. before we go to the theatres. to watch the newest saw movie. where sm people threw up when watching it???" he asked as you grinned "You think I'll be scared and throw up babe? Horror movies are our thing- just gimme an orange~" you pouted as the male shrugged, peeling an orange and handing it to you.

✧YANG JUNGWON✧

Like Heeseung and Sunoo, Jungwon was completely clueless about your little tik tok plan so it was all pretty wholesome. You hid your phone and started recording "Babe can you gimme an orange?" you ask as Jungwon narrowed his eyes at you "Do you want the peely one or the cutting one?" he asks "The one that peels please~" you respond as he goes to the kitchen.

He comes back later with a peeled orange in his hand "bon apetite~" he said with a smile as he gave you the orange. Smiling, you kissed his lips "I- can you kiss me again on the same place please?... I'll get you another o-" You cut him off with yet another kiss, to which he smiles. Heck when he saw the video appear on his following page he just smiled knowing everyone knew that you are his,

✧NISHIMURA RIKI✧

As mentioned before, Riki and Jake do so many tik toks together, and the male knows about every tik tok video you've ever watched or liked, some of them even being edits of other idols, but he let you off the hook. When he saw you secretly record, he smirked, he never bought any oranges for a while so if anything she'd look stupid. "Babeee~ can u gimme an orange?" the girl asked as Riki turned to her. He was going to just say there are no oranges, see that little pout on your face because you tik tok plan failed.

However... you just looked so fucking cute. "We don't have any oranges babe... but if your hungry... I'll take you out for dinner instead" he said. You immediately got up, and ignored your phone, running upstairs "I'M GONNA GET DRESSED LETS WEAR MATCHY HOODIES!" You screamed as you ran to get dressed. Riki rarely took you out because he hates exposing you to other people who may steal you from him... But seeing how excited you got, he couldn't help but chuckle "So fucking cute" he snickerred.

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thebelugawhalefriend · 4 months

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Many Loving Kisses - Yan!Royal Harem x Reader

PART TWO

CW: Yandere themes, Fem reader, Homophobia, Polyamory, FxF and MxF, Slight mentions of religion

Note: This is based on a dream I had a while back that actually opened up the idea of polyamory being healthy to me. While the dream involved an emperor from Japan and his harem, I'm very worried about writing for a culture I'm not completely learned up on. So! I've written it to fit a Medieval setting ^^

"The King has requested your daughter's hand in marriage." A messenger read from his scroll upon a white stallion, your parents looking on in shock. "His Majesty? But... Why our daughter?" Your mother starts, but her partner puts her hand on your mother's shoulder. "Do you dare ask why our gracious King would bestow upon you a dowry for your daughter? After he pardoned the unholy sanctity of your union?" It's then your other mother, "Auntie", steps in with venom in her tone. "Now you listen here, you brute... My wife didn't dare insult the king! She simply asked why he would want to take our only child away from us. Disgracing our union is unnecessary!"

To this, the messenger seethes. Withdrawing from his horse, the towering brute of a man steps closer to your mothers. "He did request that anyone unwilling to hand over the bride to be shall be taken to be executed. Would you prefer I end your lives? I'll be more than happy to-"

"Stop!" You immediately waved your arms up, trying to get in the middle of the dispute, "I'll go- please! Just don't hurt my mom and auntie...!" It was now their turn to look upon you with shock. "Baby..." Your mother lifts her hands to hold your face. "You don't have to do this. We'll do anything to keep you safe-" "Mama, it's not worth sacrificing your lives over something like a marriage. I love you both too much to see someone take your lives..."

Sundown's pink hues darken the skies as you wave your final goodbyes to your moms. To ensure you wouldn't change your mind, some of the men who had tagged along with the messenger tied you tight and carried you upon horseback. While your parents were paid a great sum for your hand, you couldn't help but worry about what the king's wife would think. How would this work? Would she be okay with the king having you as a second wife? Of course, his first wife will still be Queen... But what will you be?

Nightfall approaches as soon as the men who carried you in tow arrive at the gates. The king, in all his glory, looks upon the arriving carrivan with great disdain. The messenger leads on with pride in his chest and eyes. "My King, we've brought your bride to be as you requested!" "And you tied her like an animal to a slaughter?!" The king's sharp tone immediately deflated the messenger's ego. "I- uhm- It wasn't I who requested she be bound like that! Men, what have you done to our lady? At least treat the maiden with class!" The crew hastily undoes your ties as the messenger puffs out his chest yet again. Though, the king seems unimpressed.

"I've had quite enough trouble with the likes of you, Stephen. You treat your job as if I bestowed upon you a knight's status... One more misuse of your power and I'll have you imprisoned for the rest of your days." His golden eyes now fall upon you, gaze softening upon seeing your figure. "As for her, let her come and follow me. She's to be acquainted with my wife before any plans are set in motion."

Now, it's hard to not fall for a king so handsome. Stunning muscular features, a chiseled face as if a sculptor carved him from marble, and long curls of red hair pulled onto a loose ponytail. Freckles mark his face and skin like stars and constellations, with multitudes of scars connecting them. You start to wonder if God personally painted him to look like a galaxy... "I do apologize for how my men have treated you. It's difficult to find men as honorable as my own knights, dearest (Y/N)."

"You... Know my name, Your Highness...?"

"Why wouldn't I? You've been all my wife has been talking about for the past few weeks! It took me the longest time to come around to the idea but... One look of who she spoke of and I couldn't agree faster."

"King Fl-"

"Please, you may call me Rose." His smile is so warm, it brought your face to a rosy red. The tenderness of his words... That spark in his eye... It's hard to believe that this would be yours to even have, not to mention have his wife willing to share!

Once you both happen upon an ornate willow door, Rose gives it a gentle knock. "Darling?" A soft voice calls from inside the room. "Is that you?" "Yes, my dearest wife! I have brought someone you'd most adore to meet..." "Oh! But Rose, I'm just about indecent! Visitors can't gaze upon me right now..." The red haired man rolls his eyes with a bright smile, "Oh, alright, I suppose (Y/N) can wait a few moments longer."

With that, the door creeps open. "Please, let her come in!" You swallow a large lump in your throat, trotting in carefully. The inside of the room is spacious and rather decorated- even for a queen. Paintings of fables and animals decorate the walls, each framed with delicately carved wood. Walls themselves were murals of flowers and leaves, furniture threatening to overflow with delicate knick knacks and jewelry. What catches your eyes is the large pink bed with sheer canopies of white hanging over. On the sheets sit a tall and curvy woman. Eyes a striking purple and hair as black as a raven's plumage. What stands out most about her are her larger than life scars along her collarbone. While Rose's own were small, hers looked like she had fought a wild beast... The only thing that covers her is a purple nightgown, only going so far as to cover most of her thighs.

"You must be (Y/N)." She stands from the bed, brushing off her legs and looking at you with a bright smile. The mere sight of her vulnerability brings a deep blush back to your cheeks. "M-My Lady... I'm honored to... Uhm... Meet you!" You try to curtsey, but the queen merely laughs at your attempt and approaches your feeble form. "Please, there is no need for formality, little one! From now on, you can call me Azalea. But, any amount of nicknames will do." With that, she reaches her hands to your face and cups them along your jawline. "Look at you... You're so beautiful... So joyous and kind... I knew from the moment I saw you, I would love to have you marry my husband and I!"

It wasn't too long ago you met the queen. Only about a month, if you had to make a guess. She had been making her rounds along town in disguise despite her husband's protests. That's when she happened upon your family's stall. Adorned with colors and beads, it immediately was obvious that you were all selling jewelry. "Greetings!" You beamed from the stall, the queen's attention caught on you. "Would you... Actually, hold on a moment." The curious monarch watched on as you picked through one of the racks of necklaces. From them, you picked a particular piece- An orange and red beaded necklace with a ruby as the showpiece. "You look like someone who could use a little more red-"

"Oh no, I can't- I'm sorry, I don't have any..." While the Queen fretted this potential trick, you put your hands onto her own. "I didn't say you had to pay for the piece. I... Actually made that one myself. I would be honored to have someone as beautiful as you wear it." She was quick to catch onto your "flirting", to which she laughed and looked into you. "If I didn't have a husband, I would snatch you right up! If only men were so flattering as you are." You gave her a little look of confusion, "I didn't mean to try and take you as my own- Oh, but I would if you wanted me to-! Just uh! Uhm..." That assumption brought a great fluster to your face. "I genuinely mean it, miss. I have a great feeling about you! I don't often get them but... Mom says when you get that feeling, you just have to... Put it into action. Does that make sense?" The tall woman laughed again, "Absolutely not, but I appreciate the gift you've given me. Perhaps fortune will be as giving as you are..."

At the time, you didn't even realize just what her status was. It wasn't until this very moment of her hold on your face that you finally could recognize her.

"You were that lady I met last month, weren't you?" Azalea beams with amusement, her familiar laugh ringing in your ears, "It took you long enough to figure that out! Ah, but don't you worry about it, just proves my disguise is effective." As she keeps you in conversation, her body urges you to join her on the bed. By that, it's merely a hand pulling you to the mattress and a gentle push urging you to sit. With you next to Azalea, Rose peeks right in with curiosity.

"How are my wonderful girls?" He steps right in, Azalea sticking her tongue out and pulling you in for a protective hug. "This one shall be my own wife! You can't have her, Rose!" Her tone is playful, but for a moment, you could have sworn you saw that primal desire of possessiveness. "Oh, you wound me, darling! I paid her dowry, only for her to be snatched away?" He comes in closer, leaning into his wife with that exact same look. "I don't think so... Come here!"

The redhead pulls you and Azalea in for a tight embrace. Between his muscular chest and Azalea's soft breasts, you're sure you will suffocate under this pile of affection. Though, it isn't long until he pulls away to let you breathe. "Goodness, my apologies (Y/N)! I should be more careful with my two favorite flowers..."

Their gentleness and affection all reminds you of your moms. How they would shower you with affection and each other with love. It brings a certain ache to your heart, but... You'll see them again, right?

"King- Sorry, Rose?" "Yes, my flower?" "What will become of my moms?" Your freckled lover pauses for a moment, "Your mothers? What of them? They've been compensated for your dowry." "When will I see them again?" This time, Azalea comes in to answer. Her limbs wrap around you and pull you into her lap by the waist. "Oh, my dear, we can't have you wandering about in public! You'll be a spectacle out there! Besides, you'll already have a lady who will care for you every day..."

"But... What of my friends?"

"What of them? They'll get to watch you marry us! Besides, you'll have a man who will be your company from dawn until dusk." While Azalea holds you, Rose brings a hand to your chin and strokes it lovingly. That facade of care was quickly starting to feel like a trap you've fallen into.

"That's... Lovely and all! I really do appreciate that I'll be spending my days with you both. I just worry that... Well, you both have many duties as king and queen. Surely I could be allowed outside...?" Both of the lovers freeze. It's as if you admitted to murder! The tension of the room grows thick like butter, with Rose's gaze turning from soft to absolutely enraged. Yet, his tone is still calmed. Too calm.

"My darling little flower..." His grip on your face tightens, "The outside is far too dangerous for you to venture into. You're to stay here with us and be our company. Do you understand me?" Your eyes widen and you nod feverishly, Rose letting out a sigh and pulling back. Azalea turns you slightly so you could look into her honeyed look using those familiar amethyst eyes. "Don't let it scare you so easily, loveliest... We love you! We won't hurt you if we don't have to. We'll keep you safe here... No matter how hard it'll be!"

#yandere #yandere x reader #reader insert #imagines #x reader #yandere crush #yandere x you #yandere x darling #yandere x y/n

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wonijinjin · 3 months

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MIND GAMES - CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

author’s note: finally it is here! a bit messy, but i hope you will still like it.

synopsis: what would you say if people asked you: what is exactly your relationship with choi seungcheol? well, that is hard to define, one thing is for sure; it is a lot, but not healthy nor normal, many would say. then if that is true why do you keep coming back to him every time?

word count: 5.9k | genre: SUGGESTIVE, angst, hurt no comfort | pairing: cheol x f! reader (x best friend! jeonghan cameo) | warnings: SUGGESTIVE THEMES, use of curse words, reader is implied to be shorter than cheol, both of them are in their twenties, mentions of mental illness and bad behaviour, alcohol, cheol (and jeonghan too) is implied to be very rich, use of many petnames, degradation, praise, cheol is in power advantage (no abuse), reader is manipulated and manipulative, cheol is a bad person, reader isn’t a good one either, cheol is a cheater, heartbreaks

SUGGESTIVE THEMES BELOW THE CUT, MINORS MDNI!

when you met choi seungcheol you thought you found the perfect man, even though it started out as something casual, a one night stand soon turned into something far more serious.

2 years ago

you spent yet another evening at a fancy party your company organised for their business partners, even though you hated them. the only positive thing besides the free food was that most of your beloved coworkers were there, so you decided to join them for a few drinks anyways.

it was well into the night already when you arrived at the dance floor alone; your coworers weren’t exactly the dancing type and the only person who you knew would join you was nowhere to be seen. you made your way to the crowd of dancing people, most of them drunk by that time, and started rocking your body to the beat. there was a sudden change in the rhythm, a slower song started playing. everybody slowed down and just enjoyed the music, swaying from side to side with their partners. you decided to walk to the bar to wait for a song which contains a more dynamic rhythm.

you had just begun walking back to the room most employees stayed at from the bar after dancing a bit when you bumped into someone, your feet losing its balance; you immediately tripped and waited for the impact of the fall. but it never came. you slowly opened your eyes and there he was: a tall man looking down at you with a worried expression on his face. “are you alright? did you hurt yourself?” he asked, a puzzled expression on his face. you stared at him. his eyes were big and round, a pleasant hazel colour. his dark hair messy, some strands of his bangs hanging in front of his eye. his red shirt loosely hanging on him, the first 2 buttons freely dangling open, showing his neck a little, his black jeans making his appearance a bit less formal. “yes thank you.” you freed yourself from his hold as you stood up. “i am a bit clumsy when i’m tired.” you smiled softly. he let out a laugh. “i can see that.” he paused for a moment “may i have this dance with you?” he asked suddenly, eyes fixated on you, wanting to see if you would say yes. “if you insist.” you held out your hand for him and he took it. he took the lead and rocked your bodies slowly as you quietly sang the lyrics of the song. his touch was so gentle, like he was afraid of breaking you as if you were made of porcelain; you felt the world around you slow down as he looked into your eyes, his gaze radiating so much love and care. as the song ended you stayed there for a minute, hands in his, not caring about anything, only him. "thank you for catching me earlier, i really-" you were caught off guard, as his lips slammed onto yours. the suddenness of his action surprised you for a minute, but you didn't hesitate to kiss back, eyes fluttering shut, a feeling you hadn’t felt in so long coming to the surface again; attraction. you went on making out for quite a long time, lips moving in sync like they were made for each other. eventually you had to split due to the lack of air in your lungs and everything went fuzzy in your memories.

you opened your eyes, but only found empty space in front of you. you soon came to your senses and realized that you were not on the dance floor. "ah you are awake. how was your little beauty sleep?" you saw one of your work friends, jeonghan sitting next to you on the couch of the room you had previously hung out in with your other coworkers before stepping outain hall of the event. "hold up...how did i end up in here? i was just dancing with that man a minute ago..." you stared at him in confusion trying to recall the memories from earlier. were you just imagining this whole thing due to being drunk?

"well i don’t know what boy you are talking about, but after you left to dance you were gone for a pretty long time, so i went to check up on you. that's when i found you sleeping at the bar's table." he continued "i took you back here so you could sleep without that fucking loud music blasting in your ears. you clearly needed it, i guess you haven’t been taking proper care of yourself, again." he explained. you remembered you getting off the dance floor to wait for another song, looks like you actually didn't make it back and fell asleep on the counter. but the dream was so intense, you could feel his feather-like touches on your skin, and also that kiss was too good to be fake. it all felt so real. "thank you for caring and not taking advantage of me jeonghan." you let out a relieved sigh "you are a really nice guy." he bowed playfully. "of course, no problem." you scanned the room, no sign of the others. "where are the others? and also, how long was i out?" he looked at his watch on his left wrist. "not long, i brought you back here like 20 minutes ago. oh, and the boys are currently cleaning up the place. people started leaving because they got tired or too drunk and we don't wanna stay up till dawn doing the cleaning so we are taking care of that right now. the boss is actually quite satisfied, we made good deals." you stood up. “do you need help with the cleaning or have you got it covered?” you asked sleepily while looking into the eyes of your friend. “nah we are good, you should really go, if i’m being honest you look like you have been ran over.” jeonghan chuckled as you dragged your feet out of the room.

it was a chilly night; when you stepped out of the building the wind blew coldly, making you shiver. you were ready to head home from the party, having had one too many drinks, head starting to hurt. while skipping along the quiet and dark street you realised that it had started raining, however you didn’t have an umbrella with you; to solve this issue you put your hands and purse above your head to keep it from getting wet. upon stopping by a red light at the crosswalk suddenly a figure of a tall man stepped next to you; he must’ve been in his early twenties, you thought judging by his face which seemed to be spotless and so sculpted like it was a statue. it even looked kind of familiar from the side. “do i know you?” you asked without any sense of shame or without thinking first, not looking directly at him. while your question remained unanswered from the corner of your eye you saw him extend his arm, in it a big black coat. “here, take this. don’t get sick.” he said slowly, accentuating every word of the sentence. you looked up at him, not knowing why would a stranger offer another stranger their jacket without any context. “you don’t even know me, do you really not mind? what do you want for it in exchange? i’m not retarded you know.” you prodded, wanting answers regarding the reasoning for his actions. he shook his head, his black locks jingling like shiny ornaments on a christmas tree. “do i really need a reason to be nice?” he smirked. “it is raining pretty heavily and you don’t have a coat with you. you should bring one next time, never know when the weather changes.” you hesitantly accepted the piece of clothing, secretly being kind of thankful for the heavens for sending this man your way since you were indeed getting ridiculously cold. “and besides, a pretty little thing like you shouldn’t wonder around in this beautiful dress at night wihtout being properly covered up, there are many dangerous people waiting to hunt down women like you, you know.” the mysterious man said in a stern voice, which indicated that he really meant what he said and it was not just an inappropriate comment. you raised a brow at this, finally looking in his direction, searching for his chocolate orbs. “do you think i cannot defend myself?” you asked boldly while leaning closer to him from the side to catch a glimpse of his face; you needed to confess that you were intrigued by his aura, curious as of where the encounter would lead. “well i cannot state anything about you for sure yet” he paused for a moment, looking slowly up and down at you “but i would actually love to get to know you to judge it for myself.” he said and turned to face you for mere seconds, then walked away.

after seeing the light from the street lamps shine on his features it hit you; he was the guy who kissed you at the party. so it wasn’t a dream, huh? “wait!” you shouted after him, seeing his form slowly turn around. he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, expecting you to say something. “you were at the party, weren’t you? you caught then kissed me. why did you do it? and most importantly, who are you exactly?” he grinned, knowing you discovered how you knew him. “bingo, 100 points for you pretty girl, you figured me out. i was waiting for you to remember, if you did.” he was now looking right into your eyes, not breaking eye contact. “i do. so explain: how and why did you disappear after randomly kissing me?” you had a questioning look on your face, but held out against his gaze. “what can i say, i am a man of many talents. but that shall be my secret. you wouldn’t want a magician to reveal their tricks, would you?” he giggled. “do you do this to every girl at business parties?” you followed up. “nope, just the prettiest ones, darling.” the honey and sweetness laced into his voice made you quiver with excitement. “interesting.” you faked amusement, continuing. “what were you doing at this event? should i have to know you from somewhere?” you pressed further since he wasn’t of help in untangling his character. “i have a friend in the company, yoon jeonghan, and i had some money to invest into something new.” he replied causally, putting his hands in his pockets. there was no doubt in him hiding a mischievous smirk behind the emotionless reply, entertained by the fact that you knew nothing about him. “what fantastic connections you have there, mr.” you paused “what is your name?” he leanen down, eyes at the same height as yours. “why don’t you come to my place and find out?” his grin was still there on that handsome face; you thought it through for a minute. you were bored anyways, what could’ve gone wrong? he even knew jeonghan. there was no harm in spicing up your life a bit by spending a night with a very good looking man, so you hurried up to his side, and followed his lead.

however, the sweet start of your perfect relationship was sadly too good to be true.

present time

time froze for a moment; you saw him in the office through the window, in between his legs a pretty blonde; he kissed all over her neck, going further and further down, unbuttoning her shirt. you were disgusted, utterly in disbelief; he promised he would change after catching him almost kissing another girl at a party.

1 year ago

“you almost kissed her you asshole!” you cried after exiting the building where you had caught seungcheol at a company dinner getting wasted and cheating. you had many problems in the past month, he was always mad at someone or something, his business taking up all of his free time, all while you tried to discuss every inconvenience with him, which was definitely not an easy thing since he was an exceptionally stubborn man. “i didn’t! she crawled into my lap and before i could push her off you came in!” he tried to defend himself, some of your friends who went out to smoke watching the scene unfold, ready to step in as they saw you were fuming with anger. “i left you for ten fucking minutes, seungcheol! ten minutes and you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself! this is ridiculous. i know we have been arguing a lot recently and that you have been frustrated with many things, but seriously you think this is the solution? cheating on your girlfriend?” your tears stopped by this time, the only tell tale sign of your cries being the wetness on your cheeks. “i am gonna say this one more time; i did not cheat on you. why would i do that? you know very well how much i love you, i always give you everything you want. the moment you say it; it is all yours, every time. what more can i offer to you, hmm? is my love not enough for you?” he pleaded, regret written all over his face. he moved towards you to plant a kiss on your forehead and cheeks, pulling you into his chest. your heart melted at the action; it was true, he was treating you like his princess all the time without fail. you hoped he was right, and didn’t plan on breaking your heart. “let me make it up to you pretty girl.” he said while kissing your neck, navigating the chaos of limbs you were into the bathroom. “i will give you all my love.” he grinded against you, already in one of the stalls. “gonna make you see how much i care about you.” he kissed all over your body hungrily, putting your legs on his shoulders. “cheol-“ you gasped loudly when he touched you. “be quiet, pretty girl. don’t want to get caught now, do we?”

present time

but he didn’t change one bit. hell, he didn’t even care to close the blinds while he cheated on you with your coworker, making sure the whole building knew what he was about to do during the night. your blood boiled at the realisation; you gave him so many chances, you let him manipulate you into coming back to him after doing something awfully suspicious every single time, yet he still did it again. oh, but you weren’t gonna let this slide this time. you were gonna take revenge on him for what a fuckin’ prick he was; he was in for a good lesson. starting with the text you sent him a moment after the aftershocks of the scene you witnessed went away.

“I TOLD YOU I WAS DRUNK! what can’t you understand?” he groaned, head probably still fuzzy from all the alcohol he had consumed earlier. “give me a chance baby, you know how much i love you.” he changed his behaviour, suddenly looking nervous, frustrated even, that you wanted to end things with him. you stepped closer, looking him right in the eye. “you are full of shit choi seungcheol. i don’t need your excuses. this is so over. i gave you everything you motherfucker!” you screamed as you slapped him out of rage. “i am disgusted by you, i don’t even know how the fuck i ended up with you!” he turned to you again and raised a brow at this, his hands linked together in front of his chest. “you are talking as if you didn’t do the same thing months ago!” that was the point where you had enough. yes, you too hooked up with people, but that was during a time when your relationship was at its lowest, both of you agreeing on taking a break from the other as you saw how this was not healthy at all. “we were broken up at that time and you know it! don’t you dare compare yourself to me, we are nothing alike, you liar.” you stormed off, shutting the door behind you, leaving him in your shared apartment, already knowing your next move on how to make him regret even meeting you.

now here’s the thing; you weren’t an evil bitch by any means; you were always on your best behaviour in all situations, you could even dare say that you were a people pleaser, but you couldn’t take your pride being scarred like this, again, that was way out of line for you.

using revenge as a coping mechanism was very much like you though, so you acted quickly, not leaving time for second-guessing yourself or for regret. “hi hannie, what are you doing?” you started the conversation after he picked up the phone you had already called multiple times; it was very late in the day, your time being spent on trying to get a hold of your boyfriend’s best friend. “ah sorry you couldn’t reach me, i was in a meeting. what’s up? do you need something?” his voice echoed from the other end of the line, confusion evident in it. “i was wondering if you would want to come to the bar my friend invited to with me…you know how cheol gets, he doesn’t have time for anything nowadays and going alone would be so embarrassing.” you chirped in a sweet tone, trying to sound as innocent and vulnerable as you could, hoping he would buy your story of being sad over how busy your boyfriend was. “uh, sure i guess? when is it?” he was hesitant, but you knew he could be convinced very easily.

everyone could see how he looked at you when you all hung out together with cheol’s other friends, being especially distant after you announced your relationship with his bestie after the night of the company party.

2 years ago

“don’t you think this is a fast pace, hmm?” jeonghan questioned after you told him about your little night with cheol, as well as the fact that he was indeed your mysterious kisser from the event. “don’t get me wrong, he is my best friend, you are mine too, i am happy for the two of you, but he is not always the man he seems to be. i don’t think you have a clear picture of what you are getting yourself into.” he said firmly, gaze fixated on your form in front of him. “don’t worry about it hannie, i am a big girl, i can handle it. besides, i am not doubting your words, but he really is an angel, so i don’t see the problem here.” you smiled widely while he sighed, a bit disappointed, but respecting your decision. “i am just worried ‘bout you.” he touched your arm slightly, his fingertips lingering near yours, almost as if he was trying to lace them together, still, stopping himself from doing so, the intimate action now only being seungcheol’s privilage. “but okay. let’s celebrate you not being single anymore then!” he grinned, offering you a warm smile after. you hugged him, his grip tight around your waist, like he gave his everything into that one hug, knowing that would be the last one he could freely give you, without worrying about a specific someone interrupting.

he was practically drooling over you every single time, his crush being very obvious to the naked unknowing eye aswell.

present time

“tomorrow. i will text you the details later, don’t worry. thank you for making time for me.” you topped the previous act with a much lighter response, knowing he loved to hear when people were thankful to him, especially since it was you. “of course, you know you are my favourite, but don’t tell dino! he still hasn’t gotten over that time when i chose your help for that project i had!” he chuckled and you let your giggles out aswell. “…one more thing hannie…please don’t tell this to cheol, he has been extra stressed with work, don’t wanna bother him y’know.” you pleaded, wanting to keep your little secret, being sure about hannie not knowing that the two of you broke up because he cheated, since he would’ve called you if he knew, questioning what exactly had happened. “sure, i’ve got you don’t worry. see you tomorrow then.”

the next day jeonghan picked you up and drove you to where the bar was, helping you when stepping out from the expensive four wheeled vehicle.

“you look gorgeous.” he said with a shy smirk, shamelessly checking you out. “thanks. you don’t look bad yourself, yoon.” you lead him to the dancefloor t meet your friends, soon enjoying yourselves like you had never before, and letting loose after a full day of hard exhausting work.

“but what about seungcheol? i cannot do this to him, he is my best friend.” he asked, out of air. “don’t worry ‘bout it, i’ve left him.” you replied between kisses. “screwed a whore in the office.” you panted. your bodies were molded into each other’s, the music getting washed away by the sound of jeonghan’s heartbeat, your lips on his desperately trying to get a taste of him. “focus on only me, hannie.” you mewled into his neck. it was so easy to manipulate men; you were honestly so surprised at his antics of giving up his friendship so easily just to have you.

“you don’t even know how much i had wanted you all this time. since i laid eyes on you baby.” he sighed, your hand roaming around his body, finding his defined chest to stable yourself after the dizzying makeout session you had. “he wanted to fuck with me after hearing about you. watching him taint your innocent being, watching him kiss you, hug you, taste you. it was a nightmare. i wished he didn’t jump onto you before i had the courage.” he grabbed your chin and made you look up at him; the sparkles he always had in his eyes were long gone, lust and hunger replacing them. “i have always wanted to corrupt your little mind, sweetheart.” his voice was an octave lower, your mouth wide open; you never saw this side of him. “such a cutie i have here, don’t i?” he licked his lips. “…all for me, right?” you gripped his bicep to steady yourself; he made you sit on his lap, a chair behind him already pulled aside for you to continue your dance on him. “he didn’t deserve you.” he moaned into yet another heated kiss, trying to get some friction from your bodies pressed close. “what do you think, shall we take this to the bedroom, hmm, pretty boy?” you whispered into his ear while straddling his thighs, feeling him press up against you even more if it was possible. a moment later you heard a far too familiar voice.

“what the fuck?” seungcheol yelled, marching towards the two of you entangled together on jeonghan’s lap. you quickly got up, leaving jeonghan stunned, giving him one last kiss on the neck. “sorry pretty boy, gotta go.” you mumbled, running out of the room, right outside into the darkness of the night.

seungcheol caught you in the parking lot of the building, his steps heavy and scary in the dark. “what the fuck is wrong with you seungcheol?” you shouted at him, trying to free your arm from his hold. “what did you think when you gave a lap dance to jeonghan, hm? are you really this big of a slut? going behind my back and almost screwing my best friend in the middle of the dance floor! huh?” he yelled at you, the grip on your arm getting tighter and tighter. “what in the world are you saying? you are insane i swear! how dare you question what i do and demand an explanation? we are not together anymore, i can do whatever the fuck i want.” you spat, venom dripping from your words. you always knew he was a possessive man, but this? you did not expect him to question you about your behaviour. “no the fuck you can’t! you are mine, understood? noone else’s but mine.” he said while taking you into his embrace forcefully and leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck, pulling a gasp out of you. “i told you that we are done!” you said between breaths, succesfully making your way out of his hold for the most part, only his hand still being lanced with yours. “if you were this big of an asshole that is your problem, not mine, i am not your theraphist to fix your fucked up head.” you said while looking at him, taking a deep breath before ripping your hand out of his, turning around and leaving him in the middle of the parking lot. you looked back at him, smirking slightly upon letting your mouth fall open, already imagining the look on his face when he hears what you were gonna say.

“oh, and don’t worry. jeonghan fucks me better than you ever did.” of course you lied; you didn’t actually fuck jeonghan (though it was very tempting like ten minutes before), but it was so worth it. you could see the veins popping on his neck, his eyes darkening after the sentence left your mouth; you could finally get back at him, let him feel the pain you felt all those times he fucked you over during the lst 2 years. he was quick to spring into action; he pinned you down on the nearest car’s hood, holding your wrists with one hand only. “i dare you, say that again.” he whispered against your lips, his body leaning dangerously close to yours. “jeonghan fucks better than you.” you simply said, waiting for his next move. he grabbed your chin and kissed you roughly, all the feelings of you missing him coming up to the surface again.

you had fun with jeonghan of course, but he was so gentle and caring with you when things got heated; he worshipped you, which was so unusual, so strange. you craved the touch of cheol, rough in bed as always. you missed how he could manhandle your body, his kisses and hickeys, you missed this filthy side of him no matter how hurt you were by him cheating. you let him unzip your jeans, hand going very low on your thighs, already knowing what he wanted from you. “and you say i’m the psycho. darling, you are just as fucked in the head as i am. trying to fuck jeonghan the moment i don’t give you enough attention, hmm pretty girl? guess we aren’t that different after all.” he laughed in your face. “you like this; you like playing mind games. it makes you excited. so easy to make you sway. just one touch and here i have you drooling over me.” he smirked. deep down you knew he was right. you came running back to him the first time, because you missed the high, the thrilled he gave you. then why are you trying to get rid of him now? “why are you you doing this to me?” you cried with a whine, wanting answers to questions you shouldn’t be asking in the first place; you already knew why. he loved mind games just as much as you did; it made him feel alive. “i am not doing anything, love. you are the one who isn’t capable of believing that we are the perfect pair. you need me.” he spat back in a frenzy, busy with trying to get back to your lips. “seungcheol this cannot work. we keep hurting each other, i am so tired.” you sobbed harder, realising that you reached a point where the rush wasn’t worth it anymore. “if we hurt each other why does it hurt so good then?” he mumbled against you, putting his forehead together with yours. “we will be alright. we have to be alright. we always make it work.” he traced lines along your cheeks with his big hands, any type of roughness disappearing in the blink of an eye after seeng your frightened, fatigued face. “i wish i never met you, choi seungcheol.” your last words before passing out right there and then from the alhocol and stress made his heart hurt a bit; he sometimes wondered how your life would be different if you hadn’t met him. he knew he was crazy and selfish, he knew the things he did had been destroying you from the inside, but he couldn’t stop no matter how hard he tried being the best version of himself for you, to be someone you would be proud to call your boyfriend; he was simply not made to have stable relationships. it had always been just messy hookups for him, until he met you; that is when he really made an effort for the first time since he was born to keep someone in his life, however it seemed like he lost the battle with his true nature.

he caught your form in his arms just in time, placing you down on the ground, trying to wake you up.

you arose with a start in seconds, throat and lungs burning for a few seconds before registering where you were. “get the fuck away from me, now!”you hysterically cried out when you saw cheol’s worried face above you, looking at you like he had seen ghost. “are you okay? you just blacked out. how much did you drink?” he said gently while he made sure you had no bruises, his previous demeanour completely changing. this was exactly why you couldn’t break up with him before. every time he acted like a psycho or was rough with you his behaviour could easily change into such a caring little mischievous one you loved so much, the one you met him with. why did this man have to have this duality? you didn’t know. why did things between the two of you change that he wanted to seek comfort from other women? you didn’t know. but it surely made your heart heavy when he cared so much about you, because you knew he did; since you got together he gave you everything you could wish for, fancy clothes, cute dates, everything was so perfect until it wasn’t. “leave me alone. i told you i don’t want to see you.” you stood up and started walking back to the bar, soon realising that he had never left your side, the steps of his expensive designer shoes loudly echoing on the grey asphalt. “at least let me take you home, i promise i won’t try anything this time.” he said after making you halt your movements by shielding your view with his tall figure. you huffed and puffed, but decided to go with him since you were not feeling so great to continue the hookup with hannie anyways, plus you knew he would never leave until you agreed, he was like that; a very determined man, not really giving up until he got what he wanted.

“we need to talk.” he stated after exiting the car in front of the apartment complex. your drive was spent in silence, both of you lost in your own thoughts. after pressing the buttons and making your way to the door of the elevator you whipped your head away from him. “i have nothing to talk about with you. you made a mistake not so long ago, i forgave you, because i thought it was a one time thing. then i really have to catch you with that blonde bitch you fucked for god knows how long! do you really think we have anything to talk about?” you glared at him through the mirror in the elevator, now fully sobered up and ready to strangle him. “i said i was sorry! i swear it won’t happen again babygirl. i cannot understand what got into me!” he pouted. “that you cannot stay loyal because you think i am some kind of old toy you cannot lose since to attained it and that you thought you would be smart enough to get away with keeping whores, that’s what got into you, you fucker!” you were really at your limit, screaming. you didn’t care how many people would hear it, you were tired both physically and emotionally. you aggressively closed the door of your apartment behind you, shutting him out. “please, i am begging you.” seungcheol tried from the other side, banging his hand on the door. you ignored him and slid down to the floor, breaking out in loud cries and sobs; it was your breaking point. you loved him so much it was so hard to let go of him, however you couldn’t keep this up; he had hurt you too much to regain your trust. “tell me you love me again. please, come back to me again.” you could make out his soft cries on the other side of the wall. “i cannot destroy myself anymore cheol. we keep having problems that we cannot solve, no matter what we do. these fucking mind games we are getting into every week, every day even, they are making me miserable. making you miserable. please just leave.” your voice sounded weaker than intended, the fighting making you exhausted. “i understand. i am sorry for hurting you.” you were crying harder now; you sensed it in his voice, how he finally gave up in trying to convince you to take him back; you could finally rest, not having to g over these never ending circles with him anymore. “goodbye, my love.” he whispered through the wooden frame just loud enough for you to hear, then his steps slowly died down indicating that he left the hallway. he left. your heart broke into millions of pieces, however you knew you did it for the best; had to do this, let him go.

you didn’t know how you were gonna face any of your mutual friends. you didn’t know how you were gonna explain to jeonghan the next day that you used him to try to forget seungcheol, to try to get over him in one night, to try to replace him and the bitterness he left in your heart in one night. you didn’t know how you could build yourself up again, how you could trust another man after him, how you could find someone better than him.

you really wished you hadn’t met him. but it didn’t matter now. it was all over. the mind games you have been playing with him were finally over.

tags: @welcometomyoasis @thepoopdokyeomtouched @babyleostuff

#wonijinjin #caratsland #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen #seventeen seungcheol #scoups #svt scoups #seventeen scoups #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol fanfic #choi seungcheol #seungcheol #svt choi seungcheol #seungcheol x you

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mysticalsoot · 1 year

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dadbur hc's to feel something

a/n; I am struggling to write full fledged fics rn so I let the brainrot win and I've now done...this. don't ask. also, thank you to lilly and elliot for decided what hc's I was meant to write, y'all are awesome and I love you both dearly<3

warnings; not much!! mentions of pregnancy, health issues (just general idea), pain mentions, this may worsen baby fever, sorry not my fault, blame wilbur.

reader is gn but in some cases afab!! (it's optional to read those parts, dw!)

masterlist (requests are open btw!)

—★—

- absolutely hated children as a teen and early 20-something

- babysat one baby of his friends and it was over for him

- absolutely adored that little baby and nearly cried when he had to leave them

- now as a husband, he wanted a kid so bad

- constantly gushing when he passes by baby shops or just melts when he sees a baby

- horrible baby fever. sorry to you.

- won't ever push the issue, but still mentions it and communicates clearly that he does want kids but he especially wants kids with you. heart melted

- if you don't want kids at the moment, he will absolutely respect that and will definitely do his best to shut up during bouts of baby fever

- I mean how could he not!! they're so adorable!!

- once you do actually have a kid, regardless of what way—he's doing anything and everything he can to prepare.

- he's buying parenting books; how to create healthy habits with your baby, how to raise a compassionate child, what to do and what not to do when becoming a parent

- he bought soo many baby outfits and onesies—all the way up to a year old. even grabbed some premie sizes, just in case.

- the nursery was set up almost immediately, a nature theme. he suggested a Minecraft theme but you shot that down immediately. there was pouting involved.

- but, you came to a compromise; dark green walls, light yellow accents, browns, etc. you even let him make Minecraft bees out of those wooden blocks and you thought they were the cutest thing ever. there were also stuffies of Minecraft animals scattered on shelves and on furniture. (please take Amazon away from this man, it's so dangerous).

- in the case of pregnancy; he was very insistent on being sure that both baby and you were in perfect health. and he never let you do more than he thought was appropriate.

- dishes? nope that's a father's job. going down the stairs? right by your side, watching your every step and yes, will make you hold his hand.

- to most others he was overbearing—but he was always like that and the whole pregnancy thing just enhanced it

- Wilbur is anxious and he never does well with medical or health things at all, his mind constantly running wild with various possibilities. it was scary for him.

- so yes, you'd get off dish nights and would be chaperoned down the stairs.

- but he also made sure you had your medicine on time, he documented every pain and complaint you had.

- he had already learnt the face you made when you were in any sort of pain—so he was right on top of it almost immediately.

- asking what hurt, what number of pain, how he could help, etc.

- he is an absolute sweetheart all of the time, but his softness was brought out by the entire experience.

- when the baby was born, or rather adopted—whichever way it happened—he cried. he cried a lot.

- he held the little one so gently, but so tightly in his arms

- he was insistent to not push gender roles onto the kiddos, but he did have two names picked out for a boy or a girl (or rather you picked them out and he agreed with them before you told him the reasoning)

- Willow for a girl and Spencer for a boy

- you didn't tell him until after the name was finalized that both options were after him

- he was so flustered and jokingly scolded you, but in reality, he loved it

- he felt so happy and so proud

- so joyful that you felt he was worthy enough to indirectly name a child after him, your child, his child.

- he was an absolute sweetie to the little one, and they took very quickly to him as well—immediately grasping onto his fingers as soon as they had the ability and cooing any time they saw him

- it melted his heart each and every time and it never stopped

- when the little one was older, they often took up the habit of grabbing at his hair or his glasses and sometimes his ears

- you found it to be the cutest thing ever and so did he he cried almost every time

- they absolutely adored their father, and if you didn't know better, you'd say they liked him better than you!

- when it came time to go back to work, to back to gigs and shows with Lovejoy

- Wilbur took off two weeks of work entirely beforehand, just to spend with you and the little one

- obviously he'd been on some sort of break since the baby was born/adopted/etc, but he still did things here and there, streamed a couple of times, went into the studio occasionally, etc

- but now that he was going to be physically gone a lot more, he knew he had to spend it wisely. and wisely did he spend it.

- most of the time was spent lying in bed with you on one side, him on the other and the baby lying on their back between you too.

- you'd both coo at them, tickle them, and talk to them

- oh did Wilbur love to sing to them, anything at all!

- he even came up with a few lullabies for them

- you'd watch from the door of the nursery as he'd rock them to sleep, humming a tune or singing the lyrics he came up just for them

- it killed you and totally didn't make you want another

- he was overall the sweetest father, and it became more evident when he had to leave for a while

- he'd call every morning, lunch and dinner as long as he didn't have anything

- and he would be so so sure that it was that time for you, it didn't matter what time it was for him as long as it was that time of day for you and his little baby

- he may have FaceTimed you and the baby during a few soundchecks, shh don't tell Dave!

- he would smile so big at the camera and wave at your little one

- he'd show them off to his band mates and they'd all coo at the little one, talking about how much alike they look like you and wilbur

- you personally thought they looked most like their father, his eyes, lips, ears. they might as well have been a spitting image of him! you looked at baby photos too

- Wilbur, on the other hand, begged to differ. he was very very insistent they looked just like you and nothing like him.

- it was most likely perception and bias that caused you both to think this way, but neither of you really cared all that much

- on days he couldn't call, for whatever reason, sometimes you'd play one of his old streams on the TV.

- the little one always responded to his voice and it seemed to calm them, usually into a sleep

- so just chatting streams and ycgma were go tos for sleepless nights lovejoys stuff kept them up and giggling

- when he was there for sleepless nights, he'd walk them around in his arms and talk about the most random things until they fell asleep

- he even offered to baby wear a lot more than most fathers did

- he just wanted to be close to them, and it always gave you a break, so he thought it'd be a double deal

- and it was! you'd get your nap, and so did the baby and Wilbur would just be gushing over his little one a few tears always shed

- he would sit with the baby on his leg when he was at his desk working, one arm snaked around them and his other on his mouse or keyboard

- at first, working was very cumbersome with the kiddo but he eventually found a work flow that worked and bouncing them on his knee helped keep things calm

- you were both hesitant to show your child on the internet and you didn't for a very long time, while people knew of them, it wasn't like photos were posted or they showed up on stream

- until, when the kiddo was about 2 or 3, they decided they missed their daddy and went running into the office when you weren't looking (I'll be using Willow as an example)

"Daddy!" Willow yelled or rather screamed out in that typical toddler way, running over to her dad's office chair.

She didn't know her father was live or working and she was much too young to understand it anyway—and the color drained from Wilbur's face when he realized. It was much too late now, chat was already spamming "Dadbur?!?" and "Baby Gold!!!"

Willow did her best to climb the side of her dad's chair before he sighed, a big smile on his face and he lifted her up by her armpits and placed her on his knee, first facing him so the camera didn't see.

"You wanna be on camera, sweetie?" He asked, realizing now how much trouble he may get in with you—but the giggle from his daughter and the smile on her face was so worth it, he didn't care.

"Yeah! Yeah!" And so he turned her around to face his PC and the camera.

"Wave to chat, lovebug!" He snaked his arm around her waist and waved with his own hand, his head dipped down to watch her. He had the softest, most loving smile on his face. He loved his little girl so so much, and he knew how it showed.

Willow waved and giggled, "Hi chat!!" and chat began spamming; "Baby Gold, hi!!" and "WILLOW!!"

It was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

And he desperately hoped he wouldn't get in too much trouble.

He spent the rest of the stream talking to chat, but mostly looking at his little girl as he conversed with her.

- it was over by then, and the little kiddo would make an appearance as much as you would allow

- and you were far from angry—you cried when you saw the clips—you were just frustrated he didn't go to you first yet you realized, he couldn't. your kid was much too like his father and much much too like you. stubborn and energetic.

- they only got more sassy and opinionated as they grew, and they most definitely became a spitting image of wilbur

- maybe #2 would look more like you

- oh, and don't let him wear plain tshirts unless you want more kids, that's all I'm saying

tags; @lillylvjy @lvrboysoot (if you want to be on a taglist thing, just send an ask and I'll add you!)

#wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot headcanons #wilbur soot should be a dad #/j #i cannot stop thinking about dadbur #dadbur #dadbur headcannons #dadbur is my kryptonite<3 #wilbur soot #wilbur #cc!wilbur #cc!wilbur x reader #cc!wilbur soot #wilbur soot x gn!reader #wilbur soot x y/n

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ejunkiet · 1 month

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ej's adventures in romance: the good, the bad, the ugly

i've had kindle unlimited for the few months, and have been on a deep deep dive into all the recs from the romance genre that i can get my grubby little paws on. I've read.... many, many books. so many.

I've made a rec list of my new fave authors in the genre before, and this is not that. I'm just gonna list what I've read, by tropes, with ratings, and you can read my full reviews on goodreads. I've gone there. there are quite a few of the booktok hits here, because they came up on rec lists, and I'm gonna give my honest opinions on them okay. my goodreads!

Before we get down and dirty, have my actual recs from the last month: Heather Guerre remains a diamond in the rough, although she can now be joined by a further two authors: Kathyrn Moon (smutty RH queen) and Zoey Draven, a surprise last minute entry that doesn't shy away from darker themes, but handles them maturely.

other recs are the obvious: Talia Hibbert, Katee Roberts, and our very own @dominimoonbeam (whose book Doors I've been reccing a LOT lately, as I love it so much, and the sequel will be out soon >:3)

Okay. lets do this. this gets long, be warned. >:3

the "grovel" trope

books where the MMC fucks up and tries to make up for their mistakes. a good read where you get a healthy dose of angst and then a lot of making up for it. can be a great cathartic read.

Cate C. Wells has a whole series dedicated to this, "the five packs", one of which I already recommended as a guilty pleasure: the lone wolf's rejected mate". Now look, these books are ridiculous, the worldstate is terrible, each pack is a dude fest that reeks of misogyny, but they're pretty fun. I've read book 1 and book 3. I want to stab the MMC of book 1 with a rusty spork. you can skip it.

the lone wolf's rejected mate however is a ride, with a broken MMC who rejects his soulmate because he thinks he's too broken (literally, his wolf tries to kill her), and then they get captured, save each other, and he builds her a treehouse, yada yada. mind the content warnings, but if you want to read something OTT that basically epitomises the craziness that is the PNR and "grovel" romance genre, read this, and hold onto your butts.

the paranormal romance genre: shifters, vampires and more

Heather Guerre's books. okay, so actual recs. She focuses on characters from working class backgrounds with a sprinkle of the paranormal thrown in, everyone is over the age of 25 (thank god, most are in their 30s), and she can really write. I won't tag Eeshley again, but the "Tooth and Claw" series was their rec and *chefs kiss*. this is still the self-published romance genre, so these books could use an editor/polish, but honestly, I'm a big fan of her writing, and have picked up all her books. (her contemporary romance is also excellent.)

post-apocalyptic trope

Claire Kent's books. Imagine Joel from the last of us as a book series. I've only read Last Light so far, which is the prequel to a longer series that explores life in america 5+ years after an asteroid collides with western europe, causing global environmental catastrophes. I'm not 100% sold on her world building, but this is a romance novel, and the way she writes the characters and their relationships are human and organic, and the most realistic I've come across so far. the world state is the walking dead, with evil biker gangs that rape and pillage. i'm assuming this is an american thing, but can't comment on what it'd be like in the UK considering we no longer exist, due to aforementioned asteroid collision. probably for the best.

omegaverse and reverse harem tropes

yeah, I thought omegaverse was just a fanfic thing too. it's not, and it is super prevalent in het romance. it was never really my thing in fanfic, and the fact it is not a shifter thing was very surprising to me, as knots/packs/heat/rut still exist, but it's just humans with animalistic traits. I kept on waiting for the motorcycle gang in 'baby and the late night howlers' to turn into wolves, and they never did.

So Kathryn Moon writes some delicious reverse harem books. I read the first of monsterfucker series 'a lady of rooksgrave manor' years ago, and liked it, although there wasn't enough plot for me to continue. she writes excellent smut. Seriously, just really, really good smut. BIG FAN. I've been making my way through her 'Sweetverse' series, which has more connections and actual relationships between the characters, and polymances, and I recommend starting with Lola + the millionaires, if you can handle a little omegaverse. mind the content warnings, this is a book about recovering from trauma, which happened in the first book (baby's book, although offscreen. Lola has a lot of flashbacks in italics.)

Otherwise, you can stick with the monsterfucker books! I bought her latest monster series off of regular kindle, instead of KU, and I'm really excited to read it hehehe

"mars need more women" and "fated mate" tropes

hehehe okay HERE WE GO. these books are all about women ending up on planets where due to some sort of cataclysmic event - disease, mostly - 80% of the female population of the planet has died. now as we're not here for angst, the arrival of these women are usually due to some other species abducting them, and they are then "rescued" or recovered after a crash on metaphorical mars, which needs a better sex ratio to ensure the survival of the species.

this trope is coupled with "fated mate" tropes, where basically the rescued/recovered women end up with a devoted alien husband, who yearns until he can win her over (we're all about consent here folks)

the ice planet barbarians series by ruby dixon. this is basically na'vi aliens that crashlanded on an ice planet 250 odd years ago, and have made it their home, living in tribal colonies. to survive in this planet's toxic atmosphere, they've taken in a native parasite called a 'khui' which helps their bodies adapt to the climate and atmosphere. the women in the books also receive the same parasite to survive (they're given the choice), and this is the basis of the "mate bonds" formed throughout the series.

now book 1 is a rocky start, and the weakest of the series. I nearly put it down because of the first 20 pages. you can skip the first 20 pages. it basically recounts the abduction of the women from their home planet, and mistreatment by their captors (tw for sexual assault of a side character, not explicit). the ship malfunctions, and the women "cargo" are dropped onto the ice planet, where they are found by the not-na'vi, who are called sa-khui, because of the parasite.

now the rest of the series is about adapting to life on an alien planet, understanding the culture of the sa-khui, and gaining a devoted alien hubby. look, I read four books in a week. they're fun, they're exciting, the smut is good, and it's an easy read. it's also written by an experienced and practiced author, as the topics are handled maturely, it doesn't take itself too seriously, and it has great representation.

(one of my favourite books in the series, book 7, is centred around Lilah, who was born deaf and had a cochlear implant that was surgically removed during the abduction. the book focuses on her struggling to adapt to life on the planet, aided by a sa-khui that rescues her and learns ASL to communicate, and it's an excellent read okay)

I'd say read book 1 (maybe skipping first 20 pages, or even to part 2) for context, read book 2 (my favourite of the series omg), and then pick and choose from there!! I've read 1,2,4,7, and I'm gonna end up coming back for more hehehe.

"choosing theo" is another in this genre, but it didn't quite vibe with me. it leans into the 'rescued human ends up on a planet that needs women for propagation', with a matriarchal society where the men go to husbandry school to learn how to please women, and all residents of the planet are required to participate in three month long marriages to try to find potential mates to propagate the species. the premise is a fun one, but the first book is not the strongest, and I didn't continue from there. (another rusty spork for the MMC...)

dothraki in space trope

we're at the end of my trope list! I liked the ice planet barbarian series a lot, and I'd kept on seeing the Horde Kings of Dakkar by Zoey Draven recommended, and they are good. (thank you woofs >:3) think dothraki from GoT in space; humans live in small, poorly maintained colonies on the Dakkar planet, where they aren't allowed to hunt or damage the earth. offenses are punishable by death. these books lean into the captive trope, and handle the issues of the worldstate and navigating cultural differences super well, with a heavy dose of consent and BAMF heroines that rise up to their situation and make a place for themselves in their new (objectively better) lives.

i'm on book two now, and I love the maturity in the characters and the writing (which I did not find in 'choosing theo'), and they're an excellent romp. fantastic rec, really glad I picked this up >:3

am I finally going to take a break from my reading binge now? I keep on saying I will, and then not doing that ahahahaha. my kindle library is still stuffed full, mainly with other books from my fave authors above, but also some nice space horror to round it off.

next on my list is gonna be either 'Haunt, Heart, Havoc', a horror romance that I've been meaning to read forever, or 'Dead silence', which is aliens meets titanic in space. >:3 if you read all of this, KUDOS TO YOU, have a lovely sunday ahahaha!

#ej adventures in romance #so nobody asked for this but I've been keeping track hehehe and honestly it's been super interesting diving into romance land #you can still find better writing - especially with actual smut - on ao3.#in general romance authors go for volume and tropey plots that don't do the subjects justice! major romance pitfall #which I blame on the need to churn out full books for consumption. commercialisation ruins quality #tmi

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platrom · 1 year

Text

Red, Red Wine.

VILLAIN! YANDERE! DEKU X READER

NOTE: The second part of “One Last Time” is in the works. However, there is no set time when it will be released. Thank you for your patience, understanding, and endless kindness. :)

WORD COUNT: 4,655+

WARNINGS: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, intense yandere themes, severely unhealthy and toxic relationship dynamic between reader and Midoriya, intimacy is used as a way to assert power, predator/prey dynamics, dominant/submissive dynamics (like the abusive and non consensual kind), vague description of dead bodies (hinting of dismemberment of heads that are familiar faces), constant on edge behavior, there are frequent signs and mentions of domestic abuse behavior, Midoriya is a top villain, reader was once a civilian, Stockholm syndrome (sort of), reader is appeasing to midoriya in order to survive, condescending and patronizing pet names (doll, darling, etc.), a huge plot twist, they are on the top of a building, Midoriya physically abuses reader, description of blood, not a happy ending

THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP IS NOT HEALTHY. IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE ARE STRUGGLING, PLEASE GET HELP. THIS BEHAVIOR SHOULD NOT BE CONDONED. PROCEED READING WITH CAUTION.

“Izuku, where are we?” Your dainty hands clasp onto his scarred forearms, fingertips squeezing helplessly against his bulging muscles. Gently, Izuku pulls your body closer to his, your lower back pressing against his abdomen. Your feet are sectioned in between his, and he places his chin on your shoulder before leaning into the crook of your neck.

Your lover’s coarse palms cover your eyes, preventing you from seeing this “surprise” he had planned. Despite the loss of one of your senses and the feeling of your husband’s astonishingly and worryingly warm body around yours, your ears still pick up the distinct whirring of cars speeding in the distance, couples giggling, and kids shrieking. The world around you sounds alive— free. It’s the first time such typical yet genuine sounds have reached your harking ears and your shoulders relax at what you could only describe as mellifluous noises.

A gentle breeze kisses your skin, sending a shiver down your spine that sends goosebumps down your arms. Instinctively, your shoulders droop as you lower your hands to rub your biceps to produce warmth for your chilled skin, mentally chastising yourself for wearing a dress for this occasion. That little voice that had possessed you, chanting at you to wear a dress for one of the sporadic times you were allowed to leave the penthouse with Izuku was a devious runt, considering it was still fall season and the beginning of winter had begun to mark its incoming presence.

Though, Izuku had told you that this was an extremely special occasion and wanted you to style yourself appropriately. You couldn’t just disappoint your Izuku, could you?

No, you couldn’t.

“Darling,” he coos, “I need you to keep your eyes closed for me, okay?”

Obediently, you nod your head and breathe out a small word of confirmation. Smirking into your skin, Izuku lifts his head from your shoulder and firmly grips your chin between his forefinger and thumb, leaning the back of your head into his chest. His hold is a warning— one you know all too well. If you do something he doesn’t like, it’s off with your head.

Time after time, Izuku would effortlessly place you in such subtlety compromising positions that most would brush aside for simply loving touches like the protective hand on the waist, the classic intertwining of fingers, or even the casual arm slung around one’s shoulders. And one way or another, each one would leave you vulnerable to his wrath. They all were positions of impeding submission- just as if with a predator and its prey. It was like the game of cat and mouse: the cat allowed the mouse to run to provide it a false sense of security and a chance to “hide,” but the cat was always one step ahead of the mouse. It knew the critter better than itself.

Presently, if he as so much desired to inflict the smallest ounce of pain upon you, he could tighten his grip on your chin, using nothing but the mere strength of his fingers to inflict severe and intense pain upon you. No arm or quirk required. And if he truly wanted, he could snap your neck without a moment’s notice and you wouldn’t even be able to feel it.

In short, you were inferior to Izuku Midoriya in every single way and he had no problem reminding you of your place that was tropic levels below him.

His fingers tilt your jaw upwards and that familar feeling of dread and panic begins to well in the pit of your stomach like a parasite festering. Dim memories resurface in your mind, reminding you of the reality that Izuku was a calculating man that always planned miles ahead. He analyzed his enemies and allies like a scientist studying its confined and captured test subjects, jotting down and mentally noting every minuscule detail about them. Every reaction, every action, every quality and characteristic.

Whatever your partner was planning, it frightened you to no end.

“Izuku?”

Behind you, your husband’s chest puffs in pride at the overly saccharine tone of your voice. He had taught you to habitually direct nothing but sugary sweetness towards him when even daring to garble out his hallowed name. Like a compliant little puppy, one that had been punished for their bad behavior as well as rewarded for their obedient behavior, you had begun to accommodate and form yourself to his liking.

For ages, you called him by his surname and work title (as well as a few other names) until eventually, he had broken your resolve and forced you to call him by his forename. Now, whenever he heard you say “Izuku” oh-so-sweetly in that voice of yours that left him spiraling in a flurry of jubilation, his heart would explode in his chest like thousands of fireworks lighting up the starry night sky.

Alas, you only knew this information because of the countless times your inamorato had gushed like a lovestruck puppy over how elated and enraptured he was by your voice that called to him like a siren luring their victims into a pool of water. He never failed to make it known just how he worshipped you.

“Don’t fret, my love,” Izuku coos, pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your head. “If you fall, I’ll catch you. Do you remember the vows we exchanged at our wedding?”

Don’t screw this up.

It’s a mantra that repeats in your head incessantly like a wailing baby pleading for its mother to pay attention to them. It was the same phrase that rung in your ears at your “wedding” with Izuku, cautioning you to step on your toes so you didn’t slice your heels on glass. It reminded you that the shards littering the floor with their serrated edges were not from the barriers you shattered, but from the ones you prompted him to explode into smithereens.

How could you forget that traumatic day? How could you forget the blood that spilled out of the young man’s chest, the only one who tried to free you from the suffocating clutches of the world’s deadliest villain?

On that fateful day, countless of Japan’s greatest heroes stood beside you, surrounding you like a wild pack of blood thirsty coyotes. Their eyes glistened with that exact unhinged glint that sparkled in the viridian irises of Izuku’s, the crazed faces that spoke miles about the demented thoughts that were conjured in their minds.

You wouldn’t put it past them to have given this same fate to some innocent civilian like you once were.

“How could I?” you respond serenely, forcing your lips to pull into a reminiscing smile. You’re sure that if you could see Izuku’s face, he would be grinning like a dork with a faint blush on his cheeks. Some things never changed with him.

The bulky man behind you mumbles something unintelligible and releases your face from his hold before taking a grand step back and clasping your hand in his and twirling you. The ends of your dress glide up and away from the skin of your legs, the smooth satin flowing like a rose finally budding its luscious petals.

In the care of his hands, you move effortlessly, like a professional figure skater performing on ice. The moment your chest presses against his, Izuku’s arms wrap around you, securing you to him completely and preventing all possibilities of escaping. His grip on you reminds you vaguely of a viper squeezing its prey to suffocation, watching as its victim’s eyes bulged out and jaw gaped like a fish out of water in a vain attempt to save itself from the claws of a reaper, to ignore the sound of death knocking on its door.

If death was embodied by any person, it would be Izuku Midoriya.

“You can open your eyes now, darling.”

Years ago, when you watched Pro Hero Deku speak in interviews, you thought that his emerald eyes were surely jewels crafted by only the finest, most nubile and skilled hands. That some deity who roamed the Mountains of Olympus had plowed through the toughest of mines and destroyed millions of geodes with a strength that only myths could describe to give him irises so exquisite and unparalleled.

Now, when you stare into the eyes of the former Symbol of Peace of Japan known as Deku and now the recorded worst villain worldwide, you are greeted by a glowing, radioactive green that bubbles with the promise of acid-burning flesh and scars to last a lifetime.

The memory of the eyes of a genuine hero is a dim one and in its place are the eyes of a bloodthirsty villain. How could such a person change in only a couple of years?

Because of you.

He sighs fondly, eyelids drooping and shoulders relaxing at the sight of your sinless eyes staring widely in puzzlement at his.

Play dumb, you remind yourself. It’ll all be over soon.

He adored whenever you let him take the reins to pamper you and would condescendingly coo at you whenever you succumbed to his overbearing behavior, too tuckered out to resist the absolute hulking mass of a man that claimed to belong to you entirely, body and soul.

Being obedient and compliant always came out with a better outcome for you both. After all, he was the apex predator and you were nothing more than his pet. Another mere prey in the food chain, caught up with an animal greater than it could ever be.

Against Izuku, you were weak. But you had claws too. Maybe not as sharp, but you could fight back too. And if not physical, then you could outsmart him. Be conniving. Sly, slick, quick.

All you had to do was play your pieces correctly. Stalemate or checkmate, you would get there eventually. You just had to be patient.

Delicately, Izuku taps your chin with the tip of his fingers, the gentle motion so foreign it successfully snaps you out of your thoughts and redirects your full attention on him.

“Darling, I know the sight is one you can’t beat, but I didn’t bring you out here to just stare at me,” Izuku teases, patting your head lightly. The remark is one so casual and so normal that it sends you reeling in shock and face exploding in warmth, forcing your eyes to shut in embarrassment and your lips to purse to stop a squeak from escaping your throat. Your arms move to wrap themselves around your face to conceal your flustered expression.

“If you really wanted to just stare at me, we could have stayed home. I don’t mind the attention, either— it’s not everyday I get to spend time with a pretty lady like you.”

The sound of Izuku’s hearty chuckling echoes into the night, increasing the heat that crawls onto your neck. Without a doubt, you’re smudging your makeup in a poor attempt to conceal your face from his prying eyes, but the act of lighthearted, innocent embarrassment is one you haven’t experienced in eons and you choose to only tighten your grip on yourself in a futile attempt to linger in the warmth and refreshment of the feeling. Izuku’s guffaws sound so casual and free— unlike the menacing and maniacal laughs you had grown accustomed to as his prisoner.

Hesitantly, you sneak a peek from the shelter of your limbs and watch as the hulking mass known as the world’s deadliest, most dangerous villain chuckled until tears began to form in his eyes.

“Don’t laugh at me,” your arms fall to your side and you lower your head, falling into a dejected stance. “I was just spacing out.”

Deku grins giddily, his normally dull jade eyes lightening up in fondness. Dramatically, he lifts a scarred hand to his face and another to his chest, leaning back to imitate a distressed and offended damsel. “Oh, I would never, my love!”

Rolling your eyes, you slap Izuku’s shoulder with an annoyed huff. Without a doubt, your poor efforts to inflict the smallest amount of pain on Izuku must have felt like nothing to the man who experienced years of strenuous and grueling training to strengthen his body to accommodate one of the world’s most puissant quirks that made him firmer than the mantle of the Earth itself. So much so, that even All Might could not defeat him— his own successor had surpassed Japan’s greatest hero and arguably the world’s best hero internationally. Izuku Midoriya, Deku, was a force to be reckoned with.

His name was whispered like a curse on the streets, and the heroes of today didn’t dare to even say his name.

Though, this villain was once a hero. You just don’t know where it all went wrong, when the world lost its privilege to scream out for their favorite hero to save them and instead gave you the role of being the lady in distress.

But you do, don’t you?

“Why are we out here anyway? It’s freezing, Izuku,” you trail off, making a show of rubbing your arms vigorously to further accentuate your point. Glancing above you, the stars of the night twinkle above you in mockery, their sparkles brightening despite your current misery.

A small murmur of apology slips past his lips, his hands reaching to cup your cheeks and stroke your face lovingly with the pads of his thumbs. “Today’s Halloween,” Izuku begins, and that familiar glint of adoration forms in his eyes as he watches your eyes widen in giddiness at the sound of your favorite holiday. Slowly, he leans forward until your foreheads touch, green curls tickling your scalp, and he moves his fingers to slip under the neckline of your clothes before rubbing tender circles on your neck, calloused thumb caressing the salubrious and unadulterated skin in contrast to his tainted and sullied skin. “I know how much you love the holiday, so I wanted to take you out to watch it happen in live action.”

The gesture is sweet, you can admit. He never took you out, considering the circumstances of your situation. It was thoughtful of him to remember that when you were younger, dressing up and collecting candy had been an absolute must for you every year. Who could pass up free candy?

Certainly, you couldn’t. Before and presently.

Hesitantly, you lift your hands to hold onto Izuku’s, (e/c) eyes gazing back into besotted basil ones. Having Midoriya in such close proximity was making your head spin— the savory scent of his cologne blended in with his skin so well, so much so that even with all this time spent together, you could never get used to the combination.

How could you?

Like the trained pet you were, you lift Midoriya’s hand to your lips and press a chaste kiss on a scar that ran all the way down to his forearm, eyes fluttering shut in hopes of appeasing your husband, the world’s deadliest villain.

Be obedient, you reminded yourself. Just do as he desires and you’ll survive.

“Always so appreciative, my love,” Izuku hums contently, pleased with your submissive behavior. “I taught you so well, didn’t I?”

A small smile breaks out on your face, akin to the mischievous grin of a Cheshire cat. The pawns on the chess board were falling into place, in your favor.

Check.

Breaking away from him, you cautiously inch towards the edge of the building, peering past the short concrete wall that prevented people from tipping off the rooftop. In the distance, you see people of various ages dressed up for Halloween. Little children skip down the street with their parents in step, dressed in frumpy little pumpkin costumes, sparkling princess dresses, and simple prince-like tunics. Teenagers huff as they chase their younger siblings down— scolding and chastising the children as they tiredly wipe at their eyes, smearing the heavy and dark lines of eyeliner they had spent countless hours applying.

Others drunkenly stumble down the sidewalk with their arms linked together, giggling like gossiping girls. The clicking of their heels meeting the rough surface of the pavement fills the silence of the night, along with the joyous and festive behavior from the neighborhood.

Brightly illuminated inflatable pumpkins fill the lawns of residential homes, childishly frightening faces painted onto the translucent orange tarps. Plastic bones crookedly stick out of the dirt and faux skulls litter the gardens located on the block. Styrofoam graves are splayed methodically on the ground, followed by hollow coffins occasionally stuffed with skeletons.

Halloween reminded you of the life you once had; it brought the innocence and kindness that laid deep within individuals to bubble up and explode. It showed a sweeter side to the world, one that allowed children to waddle around excitedly, shriek in joy, and chortle in pure jubilation at the immense happiness such thoughtful and caring behavior brought.

If only the world was still kind to you.

“That’s not the only surprise I have prepared for you, darling.” There’s a playful lilt in his voice that you haven’t heard in ages, a memoir of an era where nothing but sunshine, starlight, and moonlight flowed through a hero’s veins. A period where the sky was sincerely never the limit, where the world and its residents had begun to find tranquility, where crime rates that had previously skyrocketed has dipped to an all time low.

“Look behind you, darling.”

Obey him and you’ll survive.

Swiveling your head to side, you peer over your shoulder and past Izuku, only to be met by the sight of the classic Hollywood round table with a long white cloth draped over it.

Long, thin candles are placed in the center of the spectacle, their warm glow inviting you to sit down at the table. In contrast to the darkness of the night, the scenery looks absolutely breathtaking, as if it were straight out of a fairytale. Where a prince would free an enslaved princess and love her unconditionally until the end of time. Where two souls would travel the world hand-in-hand, safe in each other’s presence.

But not every story is the same; not every princess gets a happy ending.

On each side of the table are the standard silverware laid out, containing the elegant and ever-so-classic salad forks, fish forks, dinner forks, and more. Large, white plates rest in between the utensils, plated with katsudon on both your plates— Izuku’s favorite dish.

Two elegant, wooden seats are placed on opposite sides. The embroidery on the wood is done to a level beyond pure excellence— the carvings are delicate, thin, and flawless. Swirls and spirals decorate the deep mahogany wood, and laid atop the seats are thick, velvet cushions. Without a doubt, the pillow is sturdy yet so utterly soft and delightful.

“It’s all yours, my love.” His hands envelop your lower back, gently nudging you to inch towards the setup.

His heavy footsteps follow yours, the pounding of his black oxford’s meeting the floor below ringing through your ears.

It reminds you of the countless times you’ve heard Izuku’s footsteps late at night after he had come home from a long shift, or the days you spent in solitude, locked in a basement and chained to the walls of the cold, pitch black room.

He pulls out chair for you, before pushing it back in once you’ve securely seated yourself. Returning to his side of the table, he sits down and lifts a bottle of wine from under the table, popping out the cork.

“Care for a glass?” He’s nearly done pouring himself a hefty helping of liquor before tipping an empty glass in your direction and grinning.

If all went to hell, at least you would be buzzed enough to forget about it all.

You nod your head.

After pouring you a glass, you both proceed to eat. The meat is tender, savory, and flavorful. Once the noodles meet your tongue, they practically melt like a popsicle on a hot day. There’s the perfect amount of seasoning and chives that can be found in each bite, sending you reeling for seconds.

Minutes pass and the night continues to darken as you both feast on the meals in front of you, downing each bite with a sip of the sweet wine poured for you both. By the time you’re done chewing on your last bite, you’re a few glasses in and drunk.

Setting the cutlery down, you rest your chin on your palm, quietly gazing at Izuku’s massive figure. The angered thoughts that you had buried deep inside your mind creeps out of its closings, slipping to the front of your brain. Its claws push past the protective barriers that grew with time and experience, the survival tactics that you had to develop in order to adapt to an entirely new universe.

Maybe, it’s the liquor thrumming in your veins that pushes you to open your mouth clumsily and let words slip from your lips that you knew would have you punished.

"Do you regret it?”

Izuku’s fork stills, his head remaining downwards towards his meal. The air between you both stills, the candles that once radiated a tranquil warmth now becomes one that burns within your skin like a raging fire and raises the hair on your arms.

“Don’t go further,” the embers whisper. They flicker as the pace of the wind picks up, sending wisps of your hair flying. “Don’t play with fire when you know you can’t quell the flames away.”

“Don’t fall for the same trap you did years ago, (Name).”

But you were never one to listen to warning signs, were you?

“You had it all, Midoriya,” the words gush out of your mouth like a flood filling a building, no force able to prevent the inevitable from occurring. “You surpassed All Might— the greatest hero to have ever existed in history since the beginning of quirks; everyone adored you and villains fell at your heels. You even managed to eventually defeat All for One. Wealth encompassed you and you could have had any person you wanted as your partner.”

The red liquid in your cup captures your attention, twinkling in the moonlight. “Yet, you threw it all away. Why? Anyone would have died to be in your position.”

Izuku remains unmoving, almost refusing to react. It’s like when a predator and it’s prey meet eye to eye, each one staring the other to make the first move. To attack or flee. But in this case, you were already cornered.

Helpless, weak, defenseless. Those were the words you would use to describe yourself. But your inferiority only spurs you on, feeding into the ignited flames.

“You took everything I had, even when you had to all.” Tears well up in your eyes, hands moving to fist at your dress. It’s overwhelming— the intensity of your emotions that now settle upon you. The liquid courage that once flowed through your veins seeps out of your system, leaking from your eyes. The edges of your vision fade away into a blurry mess, impairing you. Softly, you weep, “Why can’t I win, just once?”

The tears spill from eyes like a dam cracking from the pressure of the water. The trickle is slow, light, but as each tear falls the intensity increases until they stream down your face. Shallow breaths are taken with each sob, each exhale a painful heave that leaves your shoulders rattling. Loose limbs freeze in place like stone, muscles tending to the point of violent shaking.

Your sobs are obnoxiously loud, disruptive, and foreign with the beauty of the night, but you can’t stop. You set a foot into the rabbit hole and now you’ve fallen into it with no escape.

A gentle scraping of wood against tile is drowned out by your desperate breaths, until you feel warm hands clasp your own and hug you tightly. Small murmurs leave his lips as he tenderly rubs your skin, the heroic instincts he once had kicking in.

Truly, there were some parts that you could not entirely remove from a person no matter how drastically they changed.

Eventually, the tears run out and you are left motionless in Izuku’s hold, eyes stuck in a blank stare. You’re nothing but a mere doll, lifeless and pliable. Izuku coos at you as he shifts you in his arms, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“Stand up, love” he whispers, shifting his hold onto your elbows to raise you from your chair. “I have one final surprise for you.”

You comply, leaning into Izuku’s hulking figure. Tuckered out from your wracking sobs, all ideas you held about refusing to succumb to his touch escape your mind.

“Look at the ground, darling.”

And you do as you’re told.

At first, there’s nothing but the tile of the building under you. It’s dark outside, but it looks solid in color. It would be rough against your skin if you fell on it. Probably cold too, like the feeling of thousands of needles piercing through your skin.

Then, a slight heat begins to emit from beneath you, warming your footwear. The plain color of cement fades away into a light gray and eventually, into an ivory. There’s sudden clicks from below you and instinctively you clutch onto Izuku’s arm, mind alert. You don’t have the energy to panic, but you know that something isn’t right.

The ivory fades away to form a translucent tile, but there are undefined shapes below you.

The clicks continue, but with each one it sounds closer and sections of the building under you light up, the brightness seeping through the cracks.

“Izuku, what’s this?” Your voice quivers, knees trembling in place.

He grins maniacally, verdant irises gleaming in glee. “Just wait and see,” he responds.

The clicking comes closer and closer, and with each light that switches on you can begin to make out certain shapes.

Familiar faces.

Once the final light turns on, you’re in tears all over again, in a state of shock. The bloodied faces of your former classmates, friends, and coworkers stare back at you, their own eyes lifeless. It’s disgusting, the blood that covers the building below you.

You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out. You can only stare in horror as you watch the people of your past look back up at you, long gone from the world.

“Isn’t it just extraordinary?” He squeezes your shoulders enthusiastically, beaming from one ear to the other. “You get to see all the low-lives of your past dead, in front of your very own eyes. Everyone who made you suffer is finally gone. Isn’t that just wonderful?”

The sight makes you want to vomit the katsudon and wine back up again.

“Can’t you see how much I love you, darling? I killed everyone who hurt you to make you happy!” He twists your face to meet his, moving to press a kiss to your lips.

And you don’t stop him.

You can’t.

You never could.

You should have listened when you were told to run, just like you were so many years ago. You should have listened to others, too blinded by ignorance.

This time, you were blinded by fear.

And now, you were stuck forever.

Closing your eyes once your lips meet his, you accept your reality.

You were stuck forever with Izuku, married to the world’s worst villain.

You fell for his trap and now had you in his grasps forever, just like he planned. You could never outsmart the puppeteer; this was his world. Not yours. It never was and it would never be.

And you had finally accepted the inevitable.

“No one is coming back for you, you know? You’re mine forever.”

You would never win against Izuku Midoriya. No one ever could.

It was best to accept the truth sooner than later.

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#deku x reader #mha x reader #yandere midoriya #yandere deku x reader #yandere midoriya x reader #villain deku x reader #midoriya x reader #yandere izuku x reader #yandere izuku #izuku midoriya x reader #dead dove do not eat #midoriya izuku #x reader #bnha reader insert #deku x you #izuku x you #midoriya x you

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katsukikitten · 2 years

Text

Synopsis: Your worst nightmare comes to life after you receive a call well after midnight that isn’t from your husband Bakugou but about him. Rushing to the hospital you’re thankful to find him alive but when he comes to he asks to see his wife despite you standing there.

Warnings: Angst, dark themes, mentions of child loss, mentions of difficulty conceiving, mentions of postpartum Cheating if you squint

Chapter Three: The ghost that haunts my dreams, I shall not forget. wc 9366

Master List

Your water really did break at the worst time. In the middle of an interview for an office manager position at an agency well away from your preferred hospital. The most memorable thing was the panic of the heroes. Tamaki had never delivered a baby before and surprisingly Mirio was stunned into silence.

"Don't panic, I have a few hours. I'm going to call Red Riot." Relief almost floods your system from the thought of these miserable last few months coming to an end. Your body wouldn't be totally yours anymore but at least you'd be able to shit again.

Probably.

"B-b-but I heard f-first time mothers have their babies much faster." Tamaki's hands shake so hard he clasps them together. Knuckle white from the grip while Mirio continues to be checked out. Curling your lips into your mouth before offering a tight smile you reassure him through the pain of your first contraction.

"I'll be fine."

Famous last words.

You were indeed not fine, your contractions so powerful so close together you were falling to your knees. Mirio and Tamaki made quick work of escorting you to the hospital while Tamaki sheepishly yelled to his assistant to call Red Riot right now.

The huffing pair made it just in time with weeping half moons on their forearms. Just as you're waddling with shortened, shallow breaths to the desk to fill out paperwork, a burning sensation between your legs demands ALL of your attention.

"Ring of fire. RING OF FUCKING FIRE!" You would have your baby right here in the lobby wouldn't you? Nurses rush towards you, thankful you wore a flowy skirt as they made quick assessments. Walking you to at least behind the nurses station for some semblance of privacy as they yelled over the PA for an OBGYN.

Kirishima and Mina arrive in the lobby at the same time. Breathless as they grab onto Tamaki and Mirio to ask where you are.

Only for the sound of a scream to echo through the lobby silencing the room. Everyone waits on baited breath as their ears strain to hear even the faintest cry.

As the unwanted audience begins to cross the line of worry a powerful cry is heard. Healthy lungs pulling and pushing out air with force. A sigh of relief is shared by strangers as Mina rushed towards the sound.

"Ma'am we're sorry but-"

"She's with me." You say desperately having just caught the smallest glimpse of bubble gum pink relieved that she was here, then spies Kirishima, "They're with me…'

Mina calls for Kirishima to follow, he hesitates unsure what to do with his two sons until Mirio grabs them off his hands. Giving a smile and a thumbs up before Kirishima runs to catch up. Shirtless and dirty, still in his hero uniform. Fighting of tears of joy, of sorrow. Knowing another man should be taking these exciting steps.

"Eyes on the baby, I've got mom." Mina barks and Kirishima nods in response.

They make quick work of cleaning you and baby up. Praising you all the way for how amazing you did and preparing you for care and what's to come. Letting you hold your little baby boy and you hadn't realized that your whole world, your whole reason for living would shrink down and be something so small.

Yet so very big.

"And the name?" The nurse asks, pen poised on the birth certificate. You stare down at him, knowing you wouldn't be able to name anything else even if you tried.

"Bakugou. Daiki, Bakugou." The nurse smiles as you stare at the ‘sun’. Pen writing out the characters.

"Shining bright."

"Yes."

A few hours later, Mirio and Tamaki are allowed back with the kids. Looking over the baby that Mina holds as Kirishima now monitors you. You give a slow sleepy nod that you're okay. Just a little tired and he silently vows to kick everyone out if they get too loud.

"Daichi, what do you think?" Mina asks as her little boy scrunches up his nose.

"He stinks." The room lets out a loud laugh as you rest your eyes for just a moment.

Time sours with each passing month. As you stare at that lighthouse of a child and see no way out. Seeing nothing but the fog that hazes your mind as his siren call grows louder in the night.

You were steadfast to crashing your boat ashore despite all the warning signs.

In the end you weren't fit to be a mother. That's what all of those fail- misfortunes were trying to warn you of. You couldn't do this.

You really couldn't fucking do this.

He was a great baby, a happy baby.

Healthy.

All the things a mother wishes for and yet you still cannot tell what he needs. Feeding him too little one week and too much the next.

Checking between his toes for hair that could wrap around it by accident and cut off the blood flow. Changing his diaper but some brands irritate his sensitive skin. Trying to keep him properly moisturized without drowning him in cream. All while the clock read 1pm and 1am the next.

Time was slipping away and so were pieces of you.

You never were fit to be a mom.

Mina opens the door to the nursery softly. Offering a harmless smile.

"Hey." It's barely a whisper as she comes into the room, watching you stand helplessly with a bottle in your hand staring at the mobile.

"My postpartum was terrifying." Mina gently lifts Daiki from the crib, rocking her weight between her feet, "Was so bad all I could think was. Why? Why did I get pregnant? Why did I have this baby that never ever stops crying? Am I fucking doing this right?"

She guided you to the rocking chair, gently placing Daiki into your arms as she prepared a new bottle in the room.

"Got to the point where l couldn't stop crying. I'm both lucky and privileged to have Eijirou be such an amazing man. He saw the signs, supported me. Got me the help I needed and I didn't start to feel better for months. Almost a year! They said I was one of the lucky ones! That mine didn't last too long." She passes you the bottle, fluffing you in a warm blanket before she sits on the floor beside you.

"So I can't imagine what you're going through." She squeezes your knee and your vision blurs as you openly sob while feeding your happy, healthy son.

Your baby that you jumped through every hoop to even conceive him. Losing weight, injecting yourself with medicine daily for the entire duration since you saw Doctor Aiya all those months ago. Making smoothies with Mina and lactation cookies because you wanted to try to breastfeed if you could. Which of course your body miserably failed at producing anything. Reading every book under the sun about parenting until your eyes crossed.

But books be damned. Hardly any of them talked about this. This gut wrenching feeling that you never have, never were, and never will be good enough. Not for your friends, not for your husband, not for your son and especially not for yourself.

"But that doesn't mean that you're alone. You've got me. You've got Kirishima." Mina smiles up at you and you sniffle, you were nothing but a burden to this kind hearted family.

As if trying to ease your worries Mina adds. "It's okay. Kirishima needs the practice."

Patting her stomach in lieu of announcing. Your eyes widen and she winks at you.

"Yea, never thought I'd be the barefoot and constantly pregnant type."

"Neither did I Miss number 8 hero!"

You choke out a laugh as Mina giggles while the two of you work together to get fussy Daiki to settle down for the night.

After he's settled as you're rocking in the chair and Mina still sits in the low light of the room she says feather soft.

"I'll go with you or if you'd like I'll watch Daiki while you go."

Everyone around him must think that he's too stupid to notice. Bakugou Katsuki was anything but. His sharp vermillion eyes picked up on a lot of things without so much of a second glance. Yet still it took him a full year to realize people around him were acting weird about the dates. The year always smudged on his report or his review or the refill for the medication he wasn't taking. Didn't like how they dulled his senses.

It bothers him, gnawing on his ribs as he thinks. Eyes roaming over other's reports only for the papers to be shuffled away.

Bakugou can't put his finger on it but he's got that feeling again. Even after all this time almost everywhere he goes he feels as if something is different. Like his life is now a game, the kind where the picture is side by side by side with the hidden pictures and messages and slowly he's finding the subtle almost unnoticeable differences.

It started with the pictures at Momo's, lots of events he remembered and one or two he didn't. In all the pictures he looks different, younger. None have his signature undercut, all just a spiky mess except for one photo on the mantel, one of the ones he doesn’t recognize. Izuku, himself, and Shouto.

Izuku, smiling wildly, in the middle arms around the more stoic men, Bakugou with his hands carefully tucked away in his pockets paired with a scowl and Shouto giving a small, rare smile. Those two toned eyes are looking beyond the camera. It jogs something but the memory is warped, like blurred ink in an abused book left in the weather. Half the book is bone dry while the other half has pages bleeding into one another. Voices slowed, deepened, and mostly lost underwater.

!s s e n t e e w s e l i m s

The sound makes him grip the nape of his neck and grind his teeth.

Even in his reflection he struggled to find familiarity, after he washed away the smell of sorrow and stagnant grief of hospital air from his skin, counting scars from battles he shouldn't have forgotten. Yet here he stood, different and the same, a living contradiction. Wondering where the hell Momo moved his razor to shave back his undercut that got unruly during his stay.

Even the first day back at the agency, something runs ghostly fingers over the fringes of his mind. A desk of all things. Sitting outside of his and Kirishima's office, pushed against another. Except one desk was empty and the other full of paperwork, photographs, even fresh flowers. Bakugou lingers by the empty desk, fingers going over the dusty top seeing the various moisture rings staining the wood from a sweating glass or most likely a vase.

Need to get some hydrangeas or peonies

The thought blossoms in his head on its own. Which is odd. He doesn't know anyone who likes those puffy flowers, he knew for a fact it wasn't his wife's favorite. Momo preferred roses, the kind where the petals looked painted.

Even his running route made no sense anymore. Starting at the penthouse apartment, concentrating on his breath and clearing his mind for miles and miles until he decided the burn in his lungs felt good enough. Ending up at some small apartment complex with a doorman who gives a sad smile and a wave. Stupidly Bakugou always waves back before his scowl returns ten fold as he feels like an idiot for waving to a stranger, taking, the now, long route back home.

And the last thing that crawled up his spine was catching the year. Finally seeing how much time had passed than he last thought. Swallowing thickly as he realized he was no longer a fresh faced 21 year old but actually 27. It was weird blinking away six years of his life, six years of growth he’d have to make up, again. Waking up in what was starting to feel like an alternate lifetime but it would explain the gray hairs. Explains the guilt he felt every time he’d lose his temper, explains why sorry is so quick to coat his tongue now.

Realizing he lost his fucking twenties somehow. Scraping together what he could with the photos Momo left around the house and what little he could pull from his friends.

Kirishima somehow always preoccupied unless Bakugou was calling to go over that stupid night again. While Mina now spoke to Bakugou in clipped responses. One word answers even for questions like "How's the baby?" Her eyes would blaze as she said Fine.

Deku wasn't much help either considering he and Bakugou only touched base every few months. A lunch the wives "force" them to take where they discuss over ramen what's been happening in their lives. Still that freckled jerk was acting weird too. Well weirder than usual. Jumpy at lunch, stumbling over his own words and calling him once a week just to "See how you're feeling."

Katsuki hated it. It made the scars on his shoulder and stomach burn. Izuku was acting like a fucking helicopter parent. Just like he did after Bakugou jumped in front of him decades earlier. After all that crazy shit cleared up Izuku tried to hover over him and if anything he was smothering the ash blonde. It raised suspicion, like something was wrong with Katsuki that he didn't know himself. It bothered him to think that these people were tiptoeing around him, as if he'd shatter if he could put a name to the weight that sits on the tip of his tongue.

But the thing he hated the most was the absence of something.

Of the family he wanted to start after he turned 25 and hit number one.

Of his wife.

Course that was three years ago now and still some things never change.

Sitting in bed by himself as that inky feeling settles at the nape of his neck. Whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Mocking him with echoes of the past he can't place. Either so quiet or so jumbled he cannot make out the words.

ssenteews efas yats

lliw I uoy rof. lliw I

He drowns out the sound with music and the dark amber liquid he brings to his lips. Palm heating up as he mulls over the past few years in his mind. Making it through life by doing the math wrong and yet getting the answer "right." Least that's how it felt since he woke up from that fucking accident.

Nothing was right about this.

Especially not how he'd wrap his arms around his wife after a long day, only for her to shuffle away from him and when Momo thought he was asleep, throwing his arms away from her body or worse yet. Leaving him alone in their shared bedroom.

Hell it might as well have been Bakugou's penthouse with how little his wife was around.

And when she was, she just wanted to ride him like a living dildo, with condoms and while she was on the pill, of course. Children would ruin her career and the last thing Bakugou wanted was an unhappy partner.

He used to love the way her mouth would part, how her tits would bounce and those sweet sounds she made that would spill from her lips. Now it left Bakugou feeling sticky, grimy. That he needed to scrub until his skin was raw for reasons unknown.

When he got like this, this damned restlessness as he called it, Bakugou would call Kirishima. Dialing the number by heart before reaching into his nightstand to pull out an old cracked phone in a dusty pink case.

"Bakubro, Hey" Kirishima is always happy to hear from his friend, except tonight he sounds different, "Feeling alright?"

"I should be asking you. Your voice is all fuckin tight."

"Yea I'm just…working on something…"

Silence dances on the line for a moment.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." Kirishima huffs out a held breath.

"Eijirou, I know when yer fuckin lyin. I hate liars." Ironic but in other words Bakugou needed to know what was wrong with his best friend. It was obviously something that bothered the red headed giant enough that even his golden retriever voice sounded solem. Bakugou quickly follows up his statement, "Is Mina okay? Daichi? Iwao?

Kirishima swallows thickly, running his hand through his hair as he looks into the glass eye of the camera, the view finder reflecting his movements. He could confide in Bakugou right? Katsuki was still his best friend, right?

"All the kids are fine. Mina is fine. I'm fine. But in case…" Kirishima trails off, the sadness in his eyes states back at him in pixelated form, "In case one day I'm not I'm making tapes."

"Why?" Bakugou flips the old phone in his hand absentmindedly. Turning it over and over and over. He isn't sure why he holds onto the chunk of cracked glass, it's not as if it held some secret he didn't know about. Not as if someone other than Momo would be his lock screen if he turned it on. Not like he could figure out the fucking password to the cloud that holds all his shit.

Across the city Kirishima holds his breath, tears he had managed to keep at bay finally spill in fat droplets down his cheeks, running along his scars. Catching in his peach fuzz that Mina loved, Daichi pushed away from scratchy kisses and Iwao let his stubby little hand run across. He grinds his teeth to keep the shaky breath in. He wants to tell him, so what happened to you doesn’t happen to me. Wants to scream that Bakugou’s wife is here in his house, that he’s holding up his promise but at what fucking cost. It’s not as if Bakugou was dead, maybe to you he was dead but here he was, waiting patiently for his friend to share his woes.

He was missing so much, too much. First words, pulling himself up, first steps. Daiki trying so hard to keep up with his older “brudder” Daichi. Soft hugs and sweet kisses. Three years of unfathomable, unconditional love.

Bakugou didn’t know it but he was missing the joy on his wife’s face too. On your face while you and Daiki cuddle, falling asleep to evening cartoons. Because you, you were his wife not her.

“I just can’t imagine losing my wife when she’s standing right in front of me.” Kirishima’s voice is barely audible and his words send a molten rod straight into Bakugou’s chest.

“What the fuck did you say?” There’s his unruly temper again, defensive and angry for what? Jesus Christ his friend was trying to give some of the burden to him and here he was being a total ass. Before Kirishima can say anything Bakugou hears a small voice in the distance.

“Unki pima, why cryin?!”

“I’m okay baby.” Kirishima says softly to what Bakugou assumes is Daichi, “Bakubro I gotta go….I’ll see you tomorrow. We can go over that night again then.”

“No.” Bakugou is quick to add as he hears the kids' feet slap against the hardwood towards Kirishima, “Don’t worry about, s-tsk. Sorry I cussed ya. Call me back if you need me.”

“Yea.” With that Kirishima hangs up, the little ash blonde that caught him looks up at him with bright, puppy dog eyes. His pain reflected in the little ones eyes, his heart so big like his dad’s and his little hand came to wipe away tears.

“No cry, or I cry.” Kirishima scoops the small three year old up in his muscular arms carrying him back to bed.

“You’re right and your momma just wants to see you smile.”

Moonlight dances on Bakugou's ash blonde hair, turning it into silver star light as he gently closes the door to the small apartment. Muscle memory pulls him through the methodical motion of removing his grenade belt and gauntlets. Stuffing them away in the newly installed safe both he and his wife agreed on. Bakugou was happy his wife suggested baby proofing the house before his wife got pregnant. It gave him time to settle into routine, to not get overwhelmed.

Silently he steps down the hallway and into the shared bedroom. Closing the door softly as he makes his way to the bathroom for a shower he stops by the bed to check on his wife.

He can barely make out the shirt he sprayed with his cologne and slept in a few times so his wife wouldn't miss him too badly. Stirring in her sleep she speaks

"Morning, Sweetness." A yawn and a big stretch.

"Morning Sweetheart." Bakugou teases with a whisper, pressing a kiss to his wife's cheek, "Go back to bed. I'll be there soon."

"Wait." He can't see his wife's face in the dark, that or even in his dreams he can't make out features. As if his wife were photoshopped out. Still he hangs onto his wife's every word because no matter what anyone fucking says. This woman here, tucked into the dark comforter and moonlight, wearing his old skull T-shirt was his goddamn wife.

He knew it, in his heart of hearts this was the woman he truly loved.

"Don't get excited but I've been thinking I finally picked a name for our future son!" Even with sleep stealing his wife's voice the sound of it makes his heart flutter.

"Yea?" He leans over his wife, trapping her beneath the weight of his heavy gaze. Staring up at him with sparkling eyes, with a soft smile opening her mouth to say

"▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ ▇ "

BEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEEP

Without opening his eyes Bakugou slams the old alarm clock into the night stand. Subconsciously reaching out for his wife only for his warm fingertips to touch cold sheets. His eyes open then as if touch deceived him and he stops himself from ruining another pair of sheets with his hot headed ways. He flips into his back. Staring up at the ceiling as he hears the shower running in the joined bathroom. He figured she must be mad at him still but it wasn't like he was the one who came home late. Or was the one whose stuff has been misplaced, moved or thrown out. He knew Momo wasn't a fan of Bakugou's personal wardrobe but did that justify getting rid of everything? She never did explain herself when he first came home, only gave him a spare key. Hanging up more and more photos of her at shoots, with the crew and friends. Still she hasn't asked Bakugou to take a single picture with her.

The pain ebbs in his chest and he covers his eyes with one arm.

Despite what everyone says Bakugou Katsuki was actually a really sensitive guy but only when it came to those he loved. He couldn't stand anyone in his circle being mad at him. Should it be Kirishima, the Bakusquad and hell even damned Izuku he'd right his wrong. Or at least try too. Heaven knows he's been trying with Mina since woke up and that's three years running just goes to show that forgiveness really is a two way street.

He just didn't like missing out on their lives. He wanted to see Daichi and Iwao before they got too big and she hardly let him over.

He sighs, thinking to himself that maybe he can at least apologize to his wife even if all they've done for the past three years is bicker and fight. Dressing in a t and gray sweats heading straight for the kitchen.

His hands moved on their own as they made coffee. Scooping up the ice and getting the sweet creamer that he would drown the coffee with. Making sure he put it in his studded travel mug with the straw that she liked so much. She only liked it cause it was his. The thought of it makes him smile, makes his heart full that even though she's away so much she likes to carry around a little piece of him.

He checks the roses on the counter, the painted kind with a few peonies tacked in because he thought she'd like them.

Momo comes out to see Bakugou in the kitchen with his travel mug in his hand.

"Going somewhere darlin?" She asks sweetly walking past him to grab herself a mug. Bakugou's smile falters.

"No, I just made you coffee. You know the way you like it." He shakes the mug and the ice clinks inside. Momo's perfect brows furrow.

"Come on, don't play with me." He tries to laugh off the growing frustration, "I put it in my cup for you and everything."

"Baku- Katsuki. I don't drink…"

Suddenly Bakugou's blood starts to heat up. He's watching her mouth move but he can't hear anything over the rushing sound of his blood. Can only see her grab a package of tea as the room gets hotter and fucking hotter.

It's hot.

It's hot

It's fucking hot

Skin searing as he tries to swallow down the burning anger. Tries to let the bloodied half moons in his palms calm him, talk him down from the edge as he holds his breath.

But his body betrays him and burnt sugar hangs heavy in the air. Igniting at his palms in agitated pops as he screams at his wife for the first time in a long, long time.

Breaking the promise he made at 19 that he'd never explode like this again.

How many promises has Bakugou broken now?

"THIS IS HOW YOU TAKE YOUR FUCKING COFFEE I SHOULD KNOW IVE BEEN DOING IT FOR ALMOST FOUR FUCKING YEARS!"

His voice echoes off the wall of windows and rounds back to him bringing with it rotting guilt. Momo has tears in her eyes. Falling down her cheeks in movie star action and sadly this wasn't a scene out of one of her scripts. She sniffles as she tries to hold her head up high.

"Bakugou." She says sharply, "When was the last time you've ever seen me drink anything other than tea?"

She throws the box at him for emphasis and the earl gray blend just bounces off his chest. Loose leaf tea spilling into the wood grain tile. She storms off then, rushing towards the elevator with her purse and phone in hand. Begging into the receiver as the chrome doors shut.

"Shouto please! Just this once. Please!"

As the elevator travels to the ground slower than his failing relationship Bakugou sighs out. Sweeping up the tea as the nagging starts in the back of his head.

Oddly enough it's his Mother's voice today. He hadn't spoken to her in a while. He can't remember why but he knows he should keep contact to a minimum. Was it the way he was treating his wife? Heated words flying from his tongue at the old hag for insulting the love of his life?

That couldn't be right. She loved Momo for some reason. Maybe for her image, maybe because she improved his too but that's all any of this was. Superficial.

Shallow.

With the mess cleaned up and his cluttered thoughts Bakugou begins to pace debating on calling Kirishima or not. He decides against it , having just bothered him a week or so ago.

So he goes with his other reliable friend, almost dreading the call half hoping it goes to voicemail.

"Kaachan?" Of course that nerd would pick up on the first ring, "Everything okay."

"No." He says gruffly, least there was one constant in his life. Bakugou always was blunt and honest.

"What's going on? Do I need to end my shift early? I-"

"No no. Shut up and listen a sec will ya?"

With that Bakugou lays it all out for Izuku, telling him about the turbulent last few years although leaving out some details. He's sure to mention his dream though. If anything he figures this nerd could see where this road was leading and quickly at that.

Divorce.

Fuck

"Look Bakugou honestly. I-" Izuku bites the inside of his cheek, debating everything he can think of in the short amount of time he has. Letting copper coat his tongue before he sighs and tries again.

"Maybe it's best that you stop chasing ghosts and focus on your relationship with your wife. With Momo."

Ice floods his system, carrying in his blood threatening to freeze his already guarded heart.

Bakugou felt like his life was turning into an old VHS, parts of the film blurred with snowy static, or overlapping scenes, very few parts of it are clear. A movie Bakugou so desperately wanted to see, wanted to remember.

But nobody wanted to help fill in the blanks.

Bakugou turns the dusty pink phone in his hands while the other holds up his red phone. Over and over and over the phone flips in Bakugou's deadly, powerful hands.

And yet he never felt so powerless before. Frustrated tears burn his eyes as he's watching his wife fall out of love with him.

Again.

All fucking over again. He has really tried to see his accident as a blessing. A second chance to show his wife he's a better man but all he's done is explode like a jackass.

Like a 21 year old but he was 27 now wasn't he?

Letting out a shaky sigh Bakugou finally answers letting the visage of "his wife" from that dream fade to the back of his mind.

"Yea, you're right. I should stop chasin fuckin ghosts."

Three years later…

“Hey Daiki, why do you and Daichi share a daddy but you aren’t brothers? Do you have two mommies?”

“I don’t have a daddy.” Daiki says proudly, “Kiripima is a God Daddy. Plus I’m six now, I’m old enough to be my own daddy!”

“Yea!” Daichi shouts, sharp teeth in a crazy smile as he stands next to the wild haired ash blonde, “We’re our OWN daddies.”

“Your own daddies?” Kirishima pouts, having overheard the kids shouting well before he got to the gate that led into the school.

“Yea our own daddies!” The troublesome duo shouts in unison while still rushing towards Kirishima while the other kids stare in awe. Somehow forgetting just how big Pro Hero Red Riot was. He was older but still one of the cooler ones. Just like Dynamight, Deku, and Shouto who still hold the top rankings from their youth.

“Mr. Riot, can I sit on your shoulders again?” One of the kids asks and of course Krisihima indulges. Taking the kid to new heights as they scream in delight. You and Mina just roll your eyes, finding out how the day went from the teacher to make sure these kids of yours stayed out of trouble.

“Daichi was very helpful today, he tied Hinta’s shoes when she was having a hard time. Daiki was a bit grumpy at first but I know he’s not the best in the mornings. By the end of the day he was just as helpful as Daichi and both answered questions right today. Although Daiki was feeding Daichi the answers.” The teacher laughs before passing their little book bags off to each corresponding mom.

“Why do you say feeding?” Mina asks and the teacher looks at the lively ones fondly, “Well Daichi was standing in the front of the class, suddenly shy in front of his peers and Daiki let out a little pop to get his attention. Mouthing the answers until he got more confident.”

“He’s using his quirk in class again?” Agitation laces your voice, ever the saint, Sensei Susuki waves it off.

“Daichi did too, half the class does. They’re just at that age.” She watches the kids vie for Red Riot’s attention, starting to wonder if the Pro hero wore his outfit on purpose, “Besides Mrs. Baku- ahem.”

She clears her throat, it was always tough not to call anyone by their last name but especially you. She curses her old mind for trying to fail her before she quickly adds.

“Daiki is very careful with his hands. Very careful.” She praises, thinking of how the little rough thing pockets his hands when his emotions get the best of him.

When he’s angry, when he’s excited, when he’s upset, they find their way into the small pockets of his khaki school pants. The white fabric scorched and left with a large whole at the bottom.

Still, Sensei Susuki doesn’t know that your son learned after only one accident. Having been overly excited to meet his “baby bro” Iwao when he came home from the hospital. Daiki’s favorite stuffed dinosaur that he wanted to “hammydown” so his little brother would have a piece of him to hold on to. Something to “scare the monsters away and protect Iwaoy”

But in his excitement his hands got too sweaty, too hot and the toy exploded into ashy fluff. A sad way to discover his quirk. Little five year old Daiki never felt his eyes burn so much. Crying to his Momma who comforted him and told him he would just need to be mindful from here on out.

And mindful he was. Always thinking about his hands, sometimes fearful of reaching out to his friends but the more the two of you practiced his quirk. The more confident he got.

"Come on kids! You too Eijirou!" Mina calls and the children scramble away from Red Riot with delighted giggles.

"Aw come in babe. Five more minutes? Not everyone got a turn!" He gives the biggest puppy dog eyes Mina has ever seen. She rolls hers, cocking her hand on her hip.

"Fine but anything more than five and we're leaving without you!"

Kirishima sighs for what feels like the thousandth time causing Mina to groan. Why couldn’t men just come out and say it?

“What’s wrong?” She says absent mindedly, rummaging in her side drawer table for cream for her growing stomach.

A long stretch of silence as Kirishima puts away clothes in the closet half heartedly.

“Do you think he’s okay?”

“Daichi?” Mina asks, rubbing lotion on her stretched belly, as she looks at the baby monitor to see Iwao fast asleep, “He always activates his quirk before he hits his head. Kid has my reflexes.”

Mina looks up, smirking at her own joke but when she sees her husband’s handsome face crestfallen she straightens, giving her full attention.

“It’s just…with what Daiki said today as we were walking up….” He trails off and Mina rises to cup his face.

“Didn’t you hear him, Red?” She says softly, “He sounded okay when he said he has no daddy….”

“But he does. He does damn it. It’s not like the man is dead…it’s it’s….” He sighs out, tears forming in his soft garnet eyes.

The three of them always said their kids would hang out. Brag on their, at the time, imaginary kids. How one of Bakugou’s kids was bound to get his quirk with his good genes and how Kirishima’s would get his hardening quirk and the other would spit acid. How they’d play fight and all the adults would have to watch out for their powerful quirks.

And yet only Krisihima and Mina were the only ones who got to see those daydreams come true.

The red giant finally breaks the silence with a wavering voice,

“It’s just my best friend deserves to see his son grow up and he can’t. He needs to come back. He’s fucking missing all of it.”

Mina blinks away tears now too, pulling Kirishima into her arms.

Quietly, so quietly, Daiki takes a few steps back. Holding his breath as he stops heading towards Daichi’s room, discarding the plan of an impromptu sleepover in his “brother’s” room. Instead he tiptoes back to the room across from you. Gingerly sliding open the door hoping the tatami doesn't grind before he can slip into his futon and feign sleep.

Daiki just wanted to be a good boy.

Because maybe if he was a good boy, Daddy would come back.

“Mommy mommy look! LOOK!” Daiki jumps from the kotatsu almost plastering himself to the screen, “Dynamight MOMMA DYNAMIGHT!”

He points to the screen and his shirt as you look over the morning paper without ever looking up. Debating if you wanted to get another job soon, the Kirishimas’ were kind enough to let you stay here rent free this long.

But surely you overstayed your welcome?

“Mhmm I see.” You hum, biting the inside of your lip as nothing has the hours you need to make sure your son is practicing his quirk properly. If there was one thing you remembered Bakugou talking about it was that he had to do a lot of training to get his quirk as precise as it was.

And despite not knowing who his father was, Daiki still wanted to grow up and be just like him.

The number one hero.

Reckon the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree.

“No, you’re not looking!” Daiki yells, to which you give a stern look. Especially when you smell something akin to caramel scenting the air, “Momma please!”

“Okay, only because you asked nicely.” You glance up at the TV looking over the broad shouldered ash blonde. Grinding your teeth to keep the frustrating tears at bay. Frustrating because you were trying your best to raise a level headed young man by your fucking self. Frustrating because you knew it was only because he lost almost a decade of his life and he'd be here if he could. Frustrating because you knew those two were still out there playing house. Holding hands on live television and you look away before the camera pans out to see him looking at his wife lovingly.

Frustrating because it still hurt so fucking much. Like the wound was fresh and you were in that hospital room again. Bleach burning your nose as you tried to find any semblance of hope, playing his favorite albums and humming the songs and it was you who washed the nasty gash on his temple carefully. Washing out the blood that would dye his blonde hair strawberry. Hearing that fucking beeping sound that brought with it new and more horrifying thoughts.

After almost seven years, it wasn’t supposed to still hurt like this.

“Isn’t Momo so pretty momma?” Daiki shouts.

“Mmhmm.” You hum again, except this time it’s clipped and Daiki doesn’t ask again.

“Not as pretty as Momma though.” He adds softly, pulling at your heart strings. Before you can say anything the doorbell echoes through the sizable house.

“What are you doing here?” A vicious bite to your hushed tone as you use your body to block her from seeing indoors.

“I was looking for you. I just want to talk about Bakugou, he hasn't been well.” She says matter of fact, as if she hasn’t been a bitch for the majority of your marriage and now just wants to see you out of the blue?

For what to fix her fucking son?

Been there, done that and look what it did for you.

You ended up alone and a burden to your best friends.

Wait? Was Bakugou really why she was here or?

Did Kirishima fuck up and mention your son to her? Did he let slip after one too many drinks that a carbon copy of Bakugou was sitting at his house being raised by his very single mother.

You go to slam the door in her face but fate was a cruel and twisted thing.

“Oi, Momma, who’s that?” Daiki pulls at your pants leg, looking up at the elderly lady, at her spiky blonde hair and dark red eyes, “We’ve got the same hair color, you and me.”

He points to himself and Mitsuki then himself again letting out a giggle.

“You know who else has blonde hair?”

“Daiki.” You try to stop him but his excitement gets the best of him as Mitsuki can do nothing but stand there shocked. Staring, staring through a timewarp as she sees what looks like her son, her baby boy except this kid, ‘Daiki’ has your eyes. Everything else is pure bonafide Katsuki.

For once she was thankful most kids spend all that time growing just to look exactly like their fathers.

Daiki shouts on, hands popping as he jumps into the same stance as the ash blonde on his shirt.

“Dynamight-kun!!! He’s my favorite hero, granny!” He just means it like all kids do when they talk to an elder. Grandpa, granny, a tease, a running joke with the youth. But the name crawls under your skin like mice in the woodwork. Tearing up everything as it competes with the loud tenor of your voice.

“DAIKI. To your room!” You look down at him, eyes a little too venomous as you hiss out, “Now!”

The boy deflates and you hate when you yell, mentaly reminding yourself to apologize later. Right now you have more urgent problems. When you turn back to dismiss the vile woman you are met with tears rushing down her cheeks.

“I didn’t know.” She says so softly, so fucking softly that it hurts. When it shouldn’t. When you should be angry, infuriated that this family was still somehow pushing their way into what was supposed to be your new life.

It was bad enough your son was obsessed with Dynamight, needing every poster, every action figure, anything with that asshole’s face on it, little Daiki needed.

“I’ll make tea.” You say through gritted teeth, letting her in and guiding her to the dining room with the low table, having remembered that’s the only setting for dinner she had in her own home.

Things are never easy with the emotionally constipated Bakugous. Making the first fifteen minutes of this meeting unbearably awkward.

“Why did you say that?” That isn’t what you meant to ask, you wanted to ask why she was here, instead over a decades worth of strife claws up your throat in a viscous bite, “Why did you say I wouldn’t last?”

She stares into her tea causing you to press on.

“Are you happy now? That I ‘gave up’ on him?” Your tongue was sharp again, if only it had been the night of your wedding. If only you set the tone then instead of trying to appease this bitter sad woman.

Least that’s how she looked at you now. Mourning her son just like you were. Except he wasn’t six feet under was he? He was living and breathing, still doing hero work, still keeping people safe. Still looking good in the eyes of the media so what the fuck could Bakugou Mitsuki actually be sad about.

“No, I’m far from happy.” She looks up at you, burning ember eyes, “I was wrong. I was really fucking wrong.”

You lean back, crossing your arms, closing yourself off from this conversation. You want to send her out. About to send her on her marry fucking way when she speaks again.

“Bakugou didn’t grow because of Momo, they married so young. No one is really a fucking adult at 18 but you know Katuski, you can’t tell him shit.” She sighs, taking another sip of her tea. You made it perfectly for her, like you always do. She watched Bakugou teach you how one day.

Guess there are some things you never truly forget.

“He grew because of you. Because he wanted to. Momo, she was a sweet girl at the time. I didn’t think my son was fighting hard enough but I should have known, I should have fuckin know he wasn’t telling me the whole story.” She tongues her cheeks, “I’m his mother and yet somedays I feel like I know nothing about him.”

“It’s your fucking fault for pushing him away. For being such a bitch to me for two years.”

“I know.” Holding your gaze with no animosity in her own, “Trust me I know and I was too stupid to figure it out sooner than that.”

Another awkward pause, you hear the apology in her voice, in her action of her showing up here today. Swallowing her pride whole, refusing to choke on it when it came to the well being of her son.

“I meant to visit earlier. But I figured you wouldn’t want me reminding you of him although I see you have an even bigger reminder of my son. Bigger than I could have imagined.”

“So no one told you about him. About Daiki?”

“Shining bright?” When you give a curt nod she smiles widely, proudly as she straightens, “He is bright isn’t he? He must get that from you.”

“But no, no one told me about him. I honestly had no idea. I came here as a shot in the dark.” She sets down her tea, “We need to get Bakugou back. He needs to see his son he-”

“No.” It’s cold and cruel, venom dripping from your lips, “He isn’t Daiki’s father.”

“It isn’t his fuckin fault he isn’t here! You think he’d ever leave you behind?! Kirishima gave me a letter on the year anniversary of him losing all memories of you. It was handwritten, you know.” Her lip quivers, clutching the cup to give her hands something to do, “It was all about you. How Kirishima and I needed to take care of you, were going to take care of you should anything happen to him. Whether that meant he was maimed, died or somehow lost his brain function. He was specific in what I was going to do in that letter.” She wets her lipstick stained lips.

“I was supposed to fight for you. Reach out to you, nurture you since you don't have anyone left. In that letter it said I only made you feel welcomed once. That it was nice even if I was just pretending for the holiday. I’ve been thinking about that since. Thinking about how I was really shitting on such an amazing woman. A woman that not only loved my son but that he loved with his whole fucking heart. I know it seems the shoe is on the other foot. I was debating seeing you at all until Bakugou called a few months ago. About a dream. He asked me what it meant, why he dreamed such a vivid thing of another woman in a wedding dress when he didn’t plan on remarrying.” She pulls a photo of your wedding out, of you and Bakugou gingerly feeding each other cake. Huge smiles the two of you not knowing the hardships that were to come.

That you’d endure seemingly by yourself.

Her manicured nail taps on your dress, “This is exactly what he described to me.”

You look anywhere away from the picture, body rigid from the heavy sea of emotions that wars between your lungs stealing the air from your chest. When you meet her eyes you see desperation.

“This is Daiki’s father, this man right here.” Her voice cracks causing you to squeeze your eyes shut, “Even without his head on right he’s still fuckin looking for ya. He’s just unwell right now, Sweetheart.”

The nickname sends a new found rage into your body, straight to your bones as you draw in a breath to scream at her to just fucking leave but instead a booming voice comes form the hall way.

“You found daddy?!” Daiki couldn’t help himself, shouting it from his hiding spot in the hall, jumping into the threshold. Demanding to be seen and heard.

“Daiki!” You hiss, rising to try to take him back to his room but he squirms. Falling to the floor like dead weight as he screams.

“HE’S MY DADDY! I GET TO KNOW HE’S MY DADDDDY!” Tears burn your eyes as you stare down at him. You should have known that eventually he would start asking questions. That him being “old enough to be his own daddy” was just a front.

A brave face kids put on when they have emotions that are a little too big for them to understand. Scooping him up you place him in your lap reluctantly sharing your cookies with Daiki only for him to ignore them.

“So you found daddy?!” Stubborn just like his fucking father. Mitsuki looks from Daiki to you to which you give a glaring shake of your head. Clearly mouthing no.

Mitsuki pursed her lips, eyes starting to water as she tried to find the right answer in her head.

“No, not yet. He’s still a little bit lost.” Mitsuki stands abruptly, “I should leave. I’m so-tsk- sorry I disrupted things here.”

“No, don't go!” Daiki tries to crawl out of your tight grip, “Momma please, she knows about daddy, I wanna hear about him too! ‘Ts not fair!”

Again Mitsuki looks at you, vermillion eyes boring into your skin, the same way her son’s used to. With a heavy sigh you gesture to the seat across from you again. Slowly she lowers back down, staring at her grandson with this dreamy smile.

“How about I tell you some stories about your daddy when he was your age.” Instantly Daiki perks up and you just hope this doesn’t fuck you over later.

Bakugou hates these, hates these fucking meet and greets so fucking much. Too many people, too many unfamiliar faces and the heroes had to spread out too far apart. Plus his wife is never here, never by his side as she’s “busy” much more busy than he ever is.

Yet still he always finds time to make it to her premiers despite his hectic work schedule. Always finds time for her only to be told there weren’t enough hours in the day for him.

It stung, really fucking hurt to watch his peers grow. Watch their families grow as he all but begged Momo, again, to try for a baby.

She always said no.

She was too busy.

And that was that.

Bakugou was getting too old to remarry and he wasn’t going to marry just anyone. Bakugou needed someone special in his life, never one to fall easy. Slowly until he’s already soaring over the edge falling and falling and ever fucking falling for -

Besides, he didn't like how he felt here, looking at all his friends through hazy green lenses.

Everytime Bakugou looks at Kirishima’s pretty little wife, with her swollen belly it sends a jolt to his heart. Jealousy eats at the muscle mass under Bakugou's skin, like rot he can never quite dig out.

Suddenly a small hand grabs at his pants, tugging so hard it rattles the grenades on his belt. He looks down only for small palms to burn bright orange before they ignite. Popping explosions much too close to his temperamental grenades as the brat screams with delight cocky little smirk on his face,

"LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!"

Bakugou stares down at the kid, eyes wide as he replays what’s just happened over in his head once more.

Something isn’t right, explosion wasn’t a common quirk, if anything it was a miracle Bakugou got a useful quirk at all.

He knew that quirk better than the back of his own hand.

That little crackling, explosion quirk was Bakugou Katsuki's.

Was this ? Did he have a one night stand he couldn’t remember?

Fiery eyes burn into what looks like a mirror into the past except his eyes. His eyes aren’t the same burnt embers as his own, no they were a different color. Soft and yet strong in their own right. Quickly under the weight of Bakugou’s glower the boy’s smile fades, replaced with tears that start to gather in the small ones eyes.

Your son staring up into the darkening face of his favorite pro hero. The babe’s lower lip trembling as his little mind races. Did he…did he hurt Dynamight-kun’s feelings?

“M sowwy. Dy-dynamight-kun. I thought hicc I thought you'd think it was cool…” The boy sniffles as Bakugou stiffens. He never was good at this comforting shit. Especially not when it came to kids but if he ever wanted any he’d better fuckin try. Just as his glove is about to wipe away some tears a manicured hand pulls the boy into her leg. He follows up that smooth leg to find you in such a pretty sundress. A snarling face that makes his mind race. His chest aches lungs squeezed by the hands of Kamisama themself.

Shit made her mad again. Better get hydrangeas- Wait, what the fuck was he thinking, why would he care if he made some extra angry? It was your brat that charged at him.

It was one thing to look at you with disgust and make you cry. But to make your son cry? Fat fucking chance.

“Tsk.” You suck your teeth harshly, leaning over to pick up your baby, “Somethings never change.”

Three words, three words make Bakugou’s chest tight, as if an arrow lanced straight through the beating muscle and he could do nothing to stop it. He hears your voice soften as you speak to your son. It makes Bakugou's throat tighten up, like suddenly he can’t breathe.

“Daiki, sometimes people don’t realize what they’re doing, okay Sweetness?” You smooth down ash blonde hair as you start to walk away as the words finally decode themselves in Bakugou’s head.

“ssenteews efas yats.”

“Stay safe, Sweetness”

“ssenteews uoy evol”

“L o v e y o u s w e e t n e s s”

The voices in his head slow, blurring, together overlapping as he hears Momo’s voice and someone else's. Hears yours as the sound rakes sharp nails across his brain. Momo never said sweetness, hardly used a pet name anymore and sure as fuck never that.

Never told him to stay safe when he left the house. She’d have to be fucking home to do that.

His head splits in two, feeling as if someone bashed a lead pipe into his temple. The feeling reverberates around his chest and his voice tumbles from his mouth all on his own.

Frozen, the two of you stare at one another as if a predator caught prey and if you didn't move he wouldn't be able to see you anymore. He takes a step forward and you take a step back. Launching yourself and your son into the air to flee as quickly as you can, looking away only when you see Bakugou encumbered by a growing crowd. By Kirishima pushing his way through the fans towards the bulking ash blonde.

You never should have agreed to take Daiki to a hero meet and greet but it was his birthday. The only thing he asked for for weeks and besides Bakugou never used to come to these things.

Not as if you knew him anymore or even wanted to.

Liar, then why'd you wear his favorite sundress?

Daiki pulls at the collar of your dress to get your attention, little eyes staring down at the people as they become the size of ants.

“Mommy, why did Dynamight-kun say your name?” Daiki looks up at you eyes widening as he panics, wiping at your falling tears as best he can, “Mommy why are you crying?”

When you can do nothing but shake your head he parrots back to you.

“Sometimes mommy.” His little voice shakes, cracks almost as he tries to comfort you, “People don’t realize what they’re doing.”

You pull him closer to you as you fly straight back to the Kirishima homestead, mind hazed over with a list of essentials to pack to leave this country forever.

You couldn’t do this anymore, you weren’t strong enough anymore. It was official.

With the sweet syllables of your name, Bakugou Katsuki broke you.

Kirishima children first born son Daichi - earth second born son Iwao - rock third born - tba Bakugou children Daiki - big, shining bright

#bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo katuski x reader #katuski x reader #bakugou angst #kitten writes 🖤🐈‍⬛🖋️

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cottondo · 5 months

Text

𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓 ┆彡 𝐜𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞 ; 𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐬 🎨🫧

✧. ┊⁭ ⁭THEME ; lost child

[ request ]

When it all first happened, you really didn’t know what to think. Suddenly, you were just . . wooshed into a game, never to return to the real world you once lived in. For a child, it was, well, terrifying!

You didn’t have your mother to protect you, and you certainly didn’t have your father- -

It had only been a day, but the waterworks were still going. Everything was blindingly bright- - and just,, weird looking. Terrifying, actually.

You sat crouched in a corner, head hanging low into your arms, knees brought up to your chest.

The soft sounds of sniffles echoed into the hallway, which only made you feel twice as alone.

The others weren’t really the nicest to you. Ragatha was, and she did her best to comfort you on your first day, but that was really about it. Jax was, well, Jax, and the others didn’t really seem to understand you good enough.

You just wanted to go home.

Suddenly, Caine pops up beside you, eyes wide and crazy. “Y/N! Why aren’t you doing the adventure?” His voice was loud and obnoxious.

When you didn’t answer, his eyes tilted curiously. “Is it too easy for you? Because, I can include more gloinks if you need me too!”

You shake your head, sniffling. Looking up to see Caine, you wipe the tears from under your eyes. “No, I don’t wanna play . .” There’s a visible tiredness to your tone. Mostly just about anybody could pick up on it, but Caine? Well, he just wasn’t good with understanding human emotions. You inwardly wished he could pick up on that.

“Hmm . .” He taps his jaw in thought, looking away. “How can I make the adventures more appealing to you?”

You frown. “I don’t think you can,” your eyes look away with a somber look holding to them. “I just wanna go home.” With that, your chin rests over your arms again, on top of your knees.

Caine idled for a moment, floating down towards your figure. He looked a little confused. “No, no! You’re here to stay now! I promise, I can make things much more entertaining for you—”

“I just want my parents,” your voice pouts, and without a second to lose, tears fall. They poured from your eyes, nose running and sniveling. Heart rate slightly elevated, an anxiety tried to take over your little body. This feeling was all new to you, and to be honest, you wanted it gone. Fast.

You inhale shakily, then try to let out another cracking breath.

Caine’s eyes widen, a nervousness to his stance.

To your surprise, you feel a tense hand tapping your shoulder. “Th— there, there?”

Without a second thought, you latched yourself onto him, pulling him into a tight hug. Just having somebody nearby was enough to calm your insides. There’s a little bit of a restraint in Caine’s figure, and he doesn’t quite reciprocate the hug back yet. “Little one, you’re going to be just fine! You’ll fit in, in no time!” His smile quickly wavered, growing to discomfort as you kept him in a hug with your little hands.

“Nobody likes me here. Ragatha was the only one who was nice to me.” Your lips turn downward, frowning.

Caine searched his mind for something useful to say, “Well, that’s just because you haven’t given the others a chance, yet!“

Wrong answer.

Your tears grow in size, and now, you’re soaking up his suit jacket, much to his dismay. “Do you like ice cream?” His voice was growing desperate, anxious.

He pulled away from you, yanking an arm out of your grasp, and instantly, an ice cream cone popped up into mid air. “Or, how about, hot chocolate?” His fingers snapped, and again, the object changed into a steaming mug of sweet chocolate.

Your mind found this extremely entertaining, and it was a healthy distraction from your inner feelings leaking out. You sniffle your nose, eyes lifting upward with a bit of curiosity.

“Oh! I know you probably like these!” His hand was filled with a bunch of hard candies.

This earned a small smile turning upward on your features. The silly teeth man was actually kind of cool.

You carefully take a brightly colored candy piece of his hand, and smile weakly down at it.

“There you go, little one! Consider it a prize, for- - uh,” his eyes darted around the room, searching, “your adventure being completed!”

Your brow furrowed, face confused. “My adventure?”

“Yes! Didn’t you know?” Suddenly, he was right up in your face. “Your adventure was to hide in the hall! Hah! I had such a hard time trying to find you,” his chuckling laces over his words, “I almost needed the others to help me.”

You blink a few times, watching as his eyes dart around in hopes your little mind would buy his little white lie. You did, and you smile weakly. “I’m . . I’m really that good?” You ask, clearing up any lingering on your cheeks.

Caine nods, pointing a finger to the sky. “Absolutely! Why else would it take me so long to figure out where you were?”

Caine pats your head with a hand, smiling down at you. “Now, how about we get you a digital dinner going, my little superstar!”

You follow along with him as his hand guides behind your back to the dining hall.

#tadc caine #caine #pomni #the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc x reader #caine x reader #caine x moon #jax #tadc jax #ragatha #tadc ragatha #kinger #tadc kinger #gangle

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howaboutcastiel · 2 years

Text

Just a Bit Closer (Jake Lockley x F!Reader)

[18+] EXPLICIT CONTENT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT [18+]

Trigger warning: mentions of kidnapping, death, dark themes compliant with Moon Knight canon.

Request: I was wondering if you could maybe do something with Papi Jake? Soft (only for his princess) Where the reader is craving some on-one time with him. No distractions or anything just him and his snuggles… him singing to and holding her- maybe even a little cockwarming (🙈) because she wants to be super duper close and warm?!

Word Count: too damn long (7.3k words)

Content: Smut. Also fluff. There’s also a leeeetle (lot of) angst, so sorry. PIV (unprotected), + cockwarming with minimal dom/sub tones. Seriously, minors gtfo of here.

Three weeks.

Your boys had been gone for three weeks. Some mission in Manila that Khonshu had sent them on, more than likely a wild goose chase. You missed them. Save for a few cryptic texts from Steven assuring you that they were safe, you’d had no contact with them since they left. It was a suspiciously long time for your boys to be gone; you hoped that nothing had gone wrong.

It was just before sun-up when you heard the familiar scrape of the key opening your front door. You’d fallen asleep on the couch, book-in-hand, and several lamps still on through the apartment. After the first couple of days, you’d been finding it harder and harder to fall asleep at night in your empty, cold bed. You’d gone through a half dozen of Steven’s books, desperate to distract yourself from wondering what dangers your beloved men must be dealing with.

You were at the door before he even managed to undo all the locks, relief coursing through you and gifting you with enough adrenaline to lift a small horse. You jumped into his arms the very second the door swung open, not even stopping to look for a sign of who was fronting in the body.

“Thank God you’re okay,” You moaned gratefully into his ear, your arms holding him tight enough to steal his breath. He let out a low chuckle, stumbling forward into your weight. He seamlessly shut the door behind him, reciprocating your embrace.

“Por supuesto que estamos bien, cariño,” Jake murmured into your hair. Of course we’re okay. This brought you a bit of confusion. Not often was Jake at the front after a long, dangerous mission. He typically dipped out for a while, having spent all his energy on the battle at hand. Perhaps this was a sign that the mission had gone better than anticipated. “You know you’re squeezing the life out of me, right?”

“Sorry.” You pulled away from him, taking time now to study the condition he was in. The body seemed fine as always, though it likely had taken several beatings along the journey. Khonshu’s armor erased all signs of that, though. Jake stood before you as healthy as ever, save for his obvious exhaustion. You wondered when he’d eaten last; his hands shook slightly against your skin. “Can I cook something for you?”

“No thanks, babe,” He took your hand in his as he headed toward the kitchen. He dug for a moment in the cabinet above the stove until he found a box of old, probably stale Pop-Tarts. “I’m just gonna grab a bite and head for bed.”

“You mind telling me about your trip? I’ve been worried sick, you know.”

“There’s not that much to tell. We went, we did our job, we left. Pretty uneventful if you ask me. Didn’t even have to get my hands dirty.” He swallowed half of a tart in a single bite. It seemed to be the first food he’d eaten in a while, judging by the way he ignored the obviously out-of-date crumbling of the frosting. He flopped onto the couch dramatically, throwing his head back with a sigh. “I actually found it pretty boring.”

“Is that why you’re the one in front? You’re so bored that you need to stick around for a while?”

“I’m champing at the bit, hermosa.” He held his arms out as you sat down beside him, pressing your weight into his chest. You were both so damn tired, but neither of you would dare go to sleep without savoring your reunion for a bit first. “The other two said that I’m driving ‘em crazy. They’re way back in the headspace somewhere. They got more than enough out of the trip. I guess boring detective work is more fulfilling for them. They’re probably gone for a few days.”

“A few days? Not even gonna pop out to say hi to me?” You relaxed your stance as you melted into his grasp, one of his arms wrapped around you while the other hand held his sugary snack. It wasn’t often that missions ended up this way; they were usually Jake’s opportunity to expel his energy, often violently.

“Sorry, baby. I don’t know what to tell you.” He popped the last bite into his mouth, groaning dramatically as he wrapped his other arm around you. Jake savored your weight on his chest. You were like his own personal weighted blanket, offering a feeling of protection and much-needed warmth.

“S’okay. I have you to keep me company. I’m off work today, just so you know.” He raised his eyebrow at that last bit as you turned your head to look at him. There was so much tension in his body, you could feel him struggling to make himself relax. “Anything fun you want to do?”

“As tempting as that sounds, I’m fucking tired right now.” Jake let out an exasperated laugh. His face was painted with a look of slight concern. “You’ll still be here when I wake up?”

“I’m not going anywhere, Papi.”

~~~

It was nearly noon when you stirred awake again. Still lying on top of Jake, you awoke to a slight aching in your back. You tried not to disturb him as you gently lifted your weight but, despite your best efforts, he began to stir underneath you.

“Something wrong?” He mumbled as you got to your feet, eyes still closed and hands lazily sliding off you.

“No, baby. Go back to sleep.” You whispered. Sunlight illuminated the room far brighter than you were expecting. You cut off the lamp closest to you, trying to preserve Jake’s slumber. As you headed toward the bathroom, your mind began to wander, planning for the day ahead.

Jake hadn’t been around in a while. Of course, he’d been gone for three weeks, but it was more than that. You hadn’t gotten any one-on-one moments with him in a long time. There was always something in the way, whether that be work, family, missions, whatever. Jake just hadn’t been able to spend much time with you. You longed for him—a truth you wouldn’t dare admit to the others. You always accepted whoever decided to front and when. Marc and Steven meant just as much to you and you’d never imply anything different. You just had seen so much more of them than you had of Jake over the last few months.

This was your chance to spend time with him. He provided such a different kind of companionship than you were used to having. Jake Lockley was unhinged, erratic and downright batshit crazy. He was annoyed by the simple things, averse to the mundane and forever chasing the highs brought by violence, partying, and chaos. He was dangerous, unpredictable, and wildly intimidating.

Except with you, that is.

Jake was always gentle for his princess. He showed you a softness the rest of the world would never have the privilege to experience. When Jake was with you, he held the universe in his hands. There was no need for guarding, no anger, no shame, and no fear. There was just you, the love of his life, ready to accept him at his most vulnerable and indulge his most intimate desires. Today was the perfect opportunity for that.

You quickly brushed your teeth before returning to the sitting room where you found the couch to be empty. A low humming echoed from the kitchen, the familiar sound of Jake’s favorite hymn ringing in your ears. He was rummaging through the fridge, trying to find some food that would provide him more nutrition than just pure sugar. You were ashamed of the fact that there was nothing much there for him to choose from; you had been too stressed to eat much while they were away. You hadn’t gone shopping in weeks.

“We’ll have to order out, dulzura.” You came up behind him to wrap your arms around his waist. He leaned into your touch. “I can get a pizza delivered.”

“Hmm, that sounds great,” He cooed. “I don’t really want to leave the apartment today.”

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

The rest of the morning went on fairly quietly. Jake hopped into the shower while you ordered a large pizza and breadsticks, plus a cookie-pie dessert you knew you’d both eat too much of. You wanted as few distractions as possible today. Just you and your Jake, some quality time away from the world. He would be happy to indulge your wishes.

“How long ‘till the food’s here?” Jake emerged from your room in only his towel. His hair was sopping wet, droplets falling from the slick black curls. His body was toned, abs protruding as he was likely dehydrated from the work of his mission. You ran the pads of your fingers along his belly, not attempting to hide the way you ogled at his brass-colored skin. A smug smile grew across his face.

“A few minutes. You’ve got time to get dressed.” He trailed his hand up along your arm, planting a ginger kiss on your lips. “Though I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

“I’ll put on boxers at least.” Jake shook his head as he turned back toward the bedroom, sprinkling your face and neck with tiny drops of water from his hair. You scoffed at the cool feeling on your skin, drawing a quite giggle from him as he walked away. “We have any beers cold?”

“Why? Are we day drinking?” You heard the doorbell ring, queueing your stomach to growl as you headed for the door.

“Of course we are. I just came back from a near-death experience, didn’t I?”

“When isn’t that true?” You whispered under your breath as you opened the door for the delivery boy. He was barely old enough to drive, judging by his looks, and he gave you an awkward smile as you traded the cash in your hand for the couple of boxes in his. “Keep the change, kid.”

“Thanks.” You breathed in the scent of the dough as you re-clicked the lock in its place. You hadn’t realized just how hungry you were, the smell of the hand-tossed pizza making you ravenous for the food. Grabbing two plates from the cupboard, you stopped at the fridge to retrieve two beers from the bottom shelf. Jake shuffled into the room as you reached the table, dressed only in a pair of charcoal-gray boxers as promised. He snagged a beer in one hand before heading for the couch, using the other to precariously balance the stack of boxes.

“I’ve really missed you, you know.” All you wanted now was to snuggle up with him, eat your food, and watch a low-quality movie. Jake was a sucker for rom-coms, though he would never admit that under any amount of duress. You clicked through the channels as he stuffed his face with bread and cheese, landing on a showing of The Princess Bride. This would be perfect for him; he’d already seen it anyway, so all the more chance that you’d get to pay attention to him.

“I’ve missed you too, mi vida. So much.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, careful not to restrain your movements as you bit a large chunk out of the slice in your hand. It was delicious food, but you couldn’t be bothered to notice, much more enamored with the man holding onto you. Instinctively, you moved further into his grasp.

“You’re so soft, papi.” You couldn’t get close enough to him. All you wanted was for him to hold onto you, but even now with his undivided attention, you craved more of his touch. Endlessly more.

“¡tonterías! I’m a big, strong man. I’m a warrior.” You heard the grin in his voice, though your face was pressed into his neck. You wanted to grab his shirt by fistfuls; there was still so much space between the two of you.

“Mmm. Sure you are.” There was a longing in your words, evident in the delirium of your movements against your lover. You had scarfed down your pizza, barely taking time to savor the taste, and now no distraction was there to keep you from your insatiable longing for him.

Before long, the movie only served to annoy you. Jake seemed to be paying too much attention to the screen and not enough to you. It was infuriating. You tried for several minutes to distract him with alluring touches, but your patience ran thin, resulting in you grabbing the remote and straight-up turning the television off altogether.

“What was that for?” He murmured through a confused laugh. His smile turned to bewilderment as he saw the pouty look on your face.

“I just want you.” That was the only way you could think to say it. It was true. You just wanted him.

“I’m right here, baby.”

“More of you. Please.” His chest shuddered underneath you. Those were fighting words, and he knew it. You wanted more of him? Better be prepared for him to go all out. Jake Lockley didn’t hold anything back, especially when you begged him so sweetly.

He slammed his lips into yours, tongue not hesitating to part your lips with feverish delight. He kissed you roughly, yet sweetly. He could never get enough of you. You wrapped your arms around his neck. Jake pulled you to your feet, lips never parting from yours as the both of your stumbled toward the bedroom door. He braced your scalp with his hand, ensuring you wouldn’t bump your head on the doorframe as the two of you blindly migrated to the bed.

You barely pulled away for breath. Jake wasted no time in using the opening to remove your shirt. You savored the texture of his calloused fingertips running along the length of your torso. Goosebumps followed his touch, your breath hitching as the cotton fabric came up over your head. Jake tossed the shirt to the side, pressing you backward until your knees hit the mattress.

His lips were back on you in an instant, exploring your throat as you snaked a frantic hand into his still-wet mop of curls. You tugged desperately at his scalp, drawing high-pitched whimpers from his mouth, which vibrated perfectly against your skin. The room was spinning and you were burning hot, your desire outrunning your body as you pressed your hips up into his. He pressed you down onto the bed, holding you down with his weight and sucking marks all along your chest.

Jake was often one to make love gently, but neither of you quite had the patience for that tonight. He dug his blunt nails into your skin as you continued to grind up against him, tightness growing in his boxers as a familiar heat flooded your core. You just needed to get closer, to feel every part of him at once. Your rational brain knew that something like that wasn’t possible, but rationality had left the scene ages ago. There was only primal instinct left. A raw desire that ate away at both of you with no restraint. You missed him so fucking much.

“C’mon, babe—” You didn’t know what you were begging for, all you knew was that you couldn’t get close enough to him. There were too many layers of clothes between you—your bra, his boxers, your panties, your leggings. It all had to come off, right now. The words were lost in your brain. “Please.”

“Sit up, mi vida.” Jake coaxed your body up from the mattress. Swiftly, he unhooked your bra and guided the straps off of your arms, his mouth still hungrily exploring your own. He was just as desperate as you, no doubt touch-starved and thankful for any attention that wasn’t aimed at ending his life. He squeezed your breast tenderly, hesitating in his strength as you leaned into his touch. Jake never wanted to hurt you, but you often left his bed covered in bruises. That was the way you liked it, to be fair.

The rest of your clothes were off in a matter of seconds. By now, his erection was plainly outlined underneath the thin layer of cotton. You were growing more impatient, not that he was any more well-reserved. It wasn’t long before the boxers came off, too.

He tried to hold back his strength as he started to slowly fuck you into the mattress. You didn’t mind the lack of foreplay; right now, it’d be more annoying than anything. You were soaking wet for him anyway. His thrusts were agile and deep, filling you with a warmth that you’d forgotten existed over the past couple of weeks. You trailed your nails along his back, not even trying to restrain the heartfelt moans that fell from your lips.

Jake was gradually letting himself go. That’s how things normally unfolded. His breath caught in his throat more often as he persisted in his pace, his grip tighter on your skin and his whimpers growing more unfettered. He was becoming more rough, ramming into you with more force and giving less forethought to the marks he made along your skin. You drank him in with absolutely no complaint.

You had orgasmed twice before he finally came, pulling out at the last second to coat your stomach in hot strings of white. It took you both a while to catch your breath. He was the first to sit up, surveying the damage he’d done to your body. You relished the sight above you; Jake was absolutely mad with desire, though also flooded with content.

“We should get you into the shower.” His voice was light, almost with a teenage-like innocence. It was a surefire sign of his ecstasy. You knew the sweet-talking would follow; Jake always fell apart for you after sex. It was when he was the least guarded, letting no walls remain between the two of you.

“Come on, cariño.” He supported your weight as he coaxed you up from the bed and onto your feet. You felt like you were floating, but in reality you just couldn’t feel your legs. It didn’t take such for him to lead you into the bathroom; he was plenty strong enough to hold you up all on his own. “I’ve got you.”

You glanced in the mirror as he turned on the shower. It was a sight to behold; you were disheveled beyond a reasonable degree. Angry dark spots peppered your front, including handprints on your shoulders and under your breasts. He hadn’t meant to do this to you; he was just so caught up in how you felt. But he hadn’t gotten off easy himself, either.

His lips were swollen and dark, no doubt from all the abuse they had taken from yours. Raised scarlet lines fell parallel down his back, some parts beaded with droplets of blood where your nails had dug in too hard. Jake appreciated those marks. In his line of work, cuts and bruises were entirely something else, but he didn’t experience those. After a session with you, he’d make the boys avoid the suit for as long as possible just to preserve the artwork your hands and mouth had left on him.

“Didn’t you just shower, papi?” Your voice was dazed as it erupted from your throat. You were having a slow time coming down, the feeling gradually returning to your thighs.

“Well yeah, but I didn’t stay clean for long, did I?” Jake sent a seamless wink at you as he pulled two towels out from the cabinet. His face was blushing red, mixing gorgeously with the copper and olive tones of his skin. He led you into the shower first, helping you step over the side of the tub as you regained proper use of your legs. You tried to tug him in after you, serving only to make yourself slip.

“Easy there, baby,” He scoffed with a grin as he held you upright, stepping in beside you with more calculated movement. The warm water felt marvelous on your body, but you heard Jake hiss as it made contact with the broken skin on his back.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, pressing yourself into his chest. He felt so good against you, every other thought in your head was far away. Jake melted into your touch, relaxing against the steaming-hot water.

“Don’t apologize. I couldn’t be happier right now, mi vida. I fucking love it when you mark me up.” You were running up the water bill, but you couldn’t be bothered to give a damn. You could stand here for eternity, wrapped in his embrace and listening to the gruff, velvet sound of his voice. The world didn’t quite work that way, though. “Turn around. Let me wash you off, okay?”

“Hmm.” Your little noise was somewhere between protest and thankfulness. You weren’t meaning to make him do all the work, but he was more than happy to feel you up for a little while longer. Little hums escaped his lips as he massaged body wash into your skin, careful to avoid the angry marks he had left on your most sensitive places.

Jake wouldn’t admit that he was good at singing. He knew he could carry a tune and that you’d love to listen to the sound, but he was conveniently unaware of the beauty of his voice. Of course, that didn’t keep him from using it; he’d torture anyone at a karaoke bar whenever given the chance—and a few strong drinks. But he saved the humming for you. If he wasn’t alone in his cab or absentmindedly doing his work, there was no other person who had the privilege of hearing his soft, wordless recounts of his favorite slow songs.

You whimpered as he turned the knob on the faucet; the absence of water allowing cold air to creep across your exposed skin. Jake wrapped his arms around you from behind, peppering gentle kisses across your cheek and along your jaw. The soft noise from his lips continued, a Guatemalan hymn he considered integral to his being. He couldn’t remember where he had learned it, but it brought him a domestic comfort he would never part with.

“I wish that we could stay here forever.” The sentence escaped your mouth without much forethought from you. He chuckled softly against your skin as he unfolded your towel. You were starting to comprehend the soreness left behind by his touch, the towel too rough against your skin where it was beginning to discolor.

“Trust me, honey. I feel the same way.” He draped the towel over your shoulders, wrapping his own around his waist as an afterthought. You tried to hold the fabric together with one hand as you used the other to feel along his neck. “You’re so fucking good to me. I never want to go without you.”

You wished you could say that he didn’t have to. He had a job to do, though. One that was bigger than you both. Luckily, for now, you existed in a pocket of time and space. There was nothing here but you and him, a creaky bed and some cheap, cold pizza. It was all either of you needed and it was perfect.

You dropped your towel as you crawled back into the bed. Exhaustion lingered in the both of you, now amplified by soreness and post-sex melatonin. You didn’t care that you’d be dampening the sheets; like many other things today, it was only an afterthought. If you’d thought of it sooner, you would have offered Jake the part of little spoon. He was ahead of you, though, enveloping you in his muscular grasp as you curled under the covers, his head pressed up against your neck, his hands massaging your battered skin.

“I should be doing that to you. You’re the one that just came back from Manila.” You shuffled onto your back, tired of not seeing his face. His eyes were filled with adoring tenderness, the deep brown glistening with nothing but love.

“Don’t even start. You know I’m not hurt.” Jake’s expression was innocent, blissful and unafraid. “Khonshu takes good care of me. Not as good as you, but still. I’m fine.”

“Physically fine.” There was something off about this mission, and he knew you’d noticed. Three weeks away, and Jake had told you no violence was involved. What kind of game was that old bird playing? You couldn’t allow him to bottle this up. “How do you feel, though? I mean, not the material kind. What happened while you were away? Something is up with you, I know.”

He avoided looking into your eyes, resignation threatening to takeover his face. He’d hoped you wouldn’t ask about that, and normally you wouldn’t. It wasn’t an easy thing to discuss. But you feared he was holding something in, something that was hurting him. Hurting all three of them, perhaps.

“Jake, baby. I know things are different for you, but you’ve gotta tell me what’s going on. I haven’t seen you in almost a month. We haven’t spent time together in such a long while.”

“Do we have to do this right now?” His eyes were pleading. Things were going so well and he did not want to be drawn back to that god-forsaken mission. “I love you so much, mi amor.”

“I love you, too. And I miss you. I miss talking to you.” You turned to face him completely now, body flush with his. He almost cowered from your touch. “I just don’t want you to be in pain and I don’t know what you need.”

“I just need you.” He leaned into your touch, but it was disingenuous and artificial. Jake needed a distraction from these past few weeks. Not that that was all you were to him—a distraction. You were much more than that. “Please don’t make me talk about this.”

“I can’t make you do anything, love.” Your laugh attempted to be lighthearted, but it was perverted by awkwardness and worry. “I don’t want you to hold anything in, though. This stuff can eat away at you.”

“I know. That’s why I don’t wanna do this right now. We’re doing so good.”

“I know.” You couldn’t ruin this for him. If he wanted to talk, he’d talk. If he wanted to do something else, there wasn’t anything you could do to stop him. And you wouldn’t try. But you would make him take what he needed from you. “Can you hold me a bit tighter, papi?”

“Anything for you.” Jake squeezed you to his chest, feeling the trail of your breath over his skin as it sent warmth up and around his neck. “I fucking love you so much.”

There it was. The aforementioned sweet talking. He never failed to let his feelings show through after he got all of the roughness out. Everything else was left behind.

“This mission kicked my ass.” He said the words with a great deal of hesitation, like they were choking him on the way out. You felt some tension leave him, though, after he uttered the little vulnerable phrase. That was good. He certainly needed a little relief.

“You don’t have to tell me anything that makes you uncomfortable.” You ran your fingers up through his hair. Of course you wanted him to share his life with you, but you didn’t want him to feel forced to do so. “But I’m listening. Whatever you need to say.”

“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. We all came back in one piece, you know?” You nodded, not daring to interrupt. He seemed relieved that you had nothing to add. You just listened. “I can’t talk to Steven or Marc about this.”

“Why’s that?” The words were inaudible, but he understood as he watched you mouth them out. What kind of mission would leave Jake feeling so isolated?

“I can’t find them.” His voice broke. Your heart jumped forward and down into your stomach. You didn’t press, but he pushed on through the tears threatening to break free. “I haven’t heard from them in days. Which is fine, I guess. I think that’s what I’m here for. To deal with things when they become too much for them. But I can’t deal with this. I mean… I don’t know where to start.”

You were desperate to know more, but you wouldn’t dare ask him to explain. All you could provide for him was support, and he would ask of you what he thought he needed. You were out of your element here. A single tear ran horizontally down his face, pooling at the side of his nose as he tried to blink a second one away.

What could make Jake Lockley cry?

“I didn’t lie before. I never got my hands dirty. That’s part of the problem I guess.”

“What do you mean?” You were fighting back tears, too, by now. You couldn’t stand the sight of him so wrecked.

“There was just… nothing. For days.” He seemed unable to find the right words. Jake couldn’t bear to worry you, but he had to find a way to get this off of his chest. If the others weren’t there, what solace did he have but the safety that you offered him?

“We got ambushed two weeks in. I don’t know how it happened—I’m not blaming any of us. Even Khonshu. It doesn’t matter. We were in a bad way.” You listened intently as he warmed up to the use of his voice. He allowed his tears to flow freely, finding it easier to talk if he wasn’t also trying to hold them back.

“We were trapped in a dark place. The three of us traded the body, trying to find a way to escape. We were alone, but others were there. Outside the walls. Men were coming to interrogate us but we could never find the upper hand. I almost thought we weren’t going to make it.”

His breath shuddered and yours hitched along with it. You pondered the idea of them in mortal danger, chasing some goal they likely knew nothing about. You tugged him closer just at the thought.

“It wasn’t that, though. We’ve been too close to death plenty of times before. It was the others.”

He swallowed thickly, unsure if he could continue.

“Others?”

“We could… hear them. I only caught bits and pieces. We were so tired. Hungry. Confused. Sometimes we didn’t even know who was at the front, or even if there was a front. We could just listen in the darkness. Hear the pain that they inflicted on others. I guess we weren’t the only ones they needed information from.”

You began to feel sick on your stomach. Steadying your breath, you tried to hide the way his words sent a burning shiver up your spine. He needed you to listen.

“There was nothing we could do. I’m sure I heard a dozen gunshots. Heard them dragging bodies away outside my door. We could only wait for an opening to escape. It wasn’t so bad, but then…”

You held your breath. He seemed to be holding his, too.

“It’s okay. It’s just a memory, right? You can tell me.”

“There was a voice. A little voice.”

Oh God. Everything was making sense now, but what devastation came with that understanding.

“She was so young. So scared. I didn’t know what to do. Marc was gone the second we heard her. Steven stuck around for a while, but he couldn’t bear the sounds. I guess that only left me.”

“I’m so sorry.” You clutched his skin as tightly as you could muster, trying to make a protective layer around him. It was all you could do, but you felt that you had to do it.

“That‘s what I’m here for, right? To keep the boys away from that. To protect them from reliving the harm.”

“That doesn’t mean you deserve to be living it.”

“I just felt so alone.” The words were broken by a brutal sob. Jake squeezed his eyes shut, feeling betrayed by the emotions of his body. “I couldn’t find anything. Or anyone. And I kept hearing her voice.”

You massaged small circles into his scalp. Sobs continued to rip through him, forcing tears onto the pillow and stealing the rhythm from his breath.

“When Khonshu came around, she was already gone. Everyone was gone. I tried to search the place, but I was so weak, even with his help.”

“I’m so sorry, baby.”

“I couldn’t feel anything. I was so angry, but so… empty. Like I was being held underwater. I just followed his orders until I wasn’t trapped anymore. There wasn’t anything else that I could do.”

“And that’s when you came home?”

“I guess. I don’t remember that much, but I know that I was alone. I’m fucking tired, mi vida. I got my ass kicked and people got hurt.”

“But that wasn’t your fault.” It made so much sense now. A trigger like that would leave Marc shaken for weeks, even if he had successfully dipped before he got the brunt of it. Steven was there for him, made to take the emotionally protective role, but he was no match for a hostage situation like that. He understood mind over matter, but he was not a soldier. That was where Jake came in.

“But I was there. And there was nothing but pain and solitude. I had to do my goddamn job.”

“You did what you could.” You thought of what Steven would say. He must be really upset to leave Jake to fend for himself like that. And your poor Marc. There was no way that he was alright. Jake was probably right; they’d both be far back in the headspace for a while.

“Baby?” He sounded so small. So timid.

“Yes, Jake?”

“I love you.” The sobs were calmer now, but the tears ran unrestrained from his eyes. He really was so damn tired, it was evident all over his face. This line of work was so rewarding, but that was only when he won. Even then, the reward often came alongside great loss.

“I love you, too. I’ve got you.” You pulled him in tighter. It was getting harder to find a way to physically pull him closer to you. He resigned himself to your grasp. “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.”

It took a long while for him to relax. The sobs ran their course with no fighting from him. You figured that was for the best; the more he let it out now, the less it would eat away at him as he and the boys started to heal. He was quiet for a long time. You tried to keep a steady rhythm of massaging his scalp and back. It seemed to help him calm down.

“I kept dreaming that I was here, with you.” He whispered, his breathing now steady enough to talk. “But then I would wake up and it would be cold. And I couldn’t reach out and touch you.”

“I’m here now. You’re okay. You’re here with me.”

“It wasn’t even naughty or anything. I just imagined your weight on my skin, keeping me warm whenever I closed my eyes.”

“I’ll keep you warm. I promise.”

He was so thankful for you. The pain could melt away while you were there. Time could heal all of his wounds, but you could take the hurt and turn it into something new altogether. Even the worst moments were somehow bittersweet when he shared them with you.

For half an hour you sat in silence. You allowed your arms to slow to a stop, no longer drawing circles on his skin. He moved occasionally, re-orienting his grip when he felt he was drifting away from you. His hands explored you like he’d never felt you before. He savored every sensory feeling that your body sent into his jumbled brain.

“You’re warm.” Jake whimpered into your skin. He seemed dissatisfied, unable to get close enough to you. You pulled the cover up a few inches, hoping that could serve to fulfill his need. “Come here.”

“Jake, I’m as close as I can get.” You weren't scolding him; you honestly felt bad that you couldn’t somehow find more ways to make contact with his skin. “I don‘t know what else to do.”

“I do.” He snaked his arms around your waist, hoisting you up on top of him as he fell onto his back. You covered him like a blanket, one arm crushed underneath him as you still held a handful of curls. A soft giggle escaped your lips. A satisfied sigh escaped from his.

“Is this better?” He hummed in approval, letting gravity push him further into the mattress. “If not, I have an idea.”

Jake raised his eyebrow at you, eyes still closed as he blissfully took in the newfound pressure.

“I’m all ears.”

“I’ve never tried it before…” You lifted off of him ever-so-slightly. “But I’ve heard that it’s a great way to keep warm.”

Your free hand migrated down past your waist, grazing across his thigh. Jake’s eyes darted open, face flushing red as you pressed your hand down onto his hip.

“You mean—you’re just gonna… sit there?” His eyes were wide but there wasn’t a hint of complaint. You took him into your hand gingerly and he jutted underneath your grip.

“Well, lie here. Is that okay with you?” You’d never seen the appeal of cockwarming before. It seemed to be a form of torture for every party involved. Now though, the desire was beginning to make some sense. There were some logistical problems, however.

“I don’t think it works like that.” You began to palm at his length, your weight on him at an angle that prevented him from squirming too much underneath you. “You’re just gonna make me impatient.”

“It’ll be good for you, I swear.” Jake was growing hard underneath you, your hand working between your legs and the rest of you holding him down. You planted your knees on either side of him for some leverage.

“Whatever you say. You can’t be mad if I don’t keep still, though.” He pressed his hands into the skin above your hips, trying and failing to keep from bucking up into your wrist.

“Of course not. I’m trying to help you out. You do what you feel is best, okay?” It took less than a minute after that for him to reach a full erection. Jake was obviously focusing on his breathing, tensing his body as much as possible to try and stay still. You lowered yourself slowly at first, satisfied with how his chest shuddered as you sunk down.

And then you were still.

It was an odd feeling. You were plenty warm, but not in a normal way. Your skin felt like it was on fire. Judging by the desperate look on his face, Jake was more than warm enough, too. You tilted your hips at an agonizing pace, returning to your position of laying down on top of him. You felt him twitching inside you.

“Warm enough?” You whispered to him. His breath was choked.

“You could say that.”

To you, the feeling was bliss. You felt complete, two halves of a whole fitted perfectly together. It was decidedly less perfect for him, but he enjoyed the challenge. The task of remaining still distracted him from his other worries. Plus, you felt so fucking good around him.

“Babe, I can’t stay like this for long.” You could tell he didn’t want to disappoint. Jake was clenching and unclenching his fists, unable to find a release for his tension. You wanted to stay here longer, but you wouldn’t ask that of him at his expense.

“Do whatever you need to, papi.” You let him shift your weight so that he had more control. He contemplated his next move for a bit, allowing you to savor the feeling for just a little while longer. It wasn’t that he didn’t like it; he craved the closeness to you and had no qualms with your creative suggestion. He just couldn’t hold himself together. He needed release.

“Can you move for me?” He asked in a sheepish voice. He was trying so hard to please, he figured maybe you’d be more satisfied if you got to do it yourself. “You don’t have to.”

“No, I can do that.” You lifted back up, regaining your leverage and planting your knees. You rolled into him carefully, drawing out a long groan from the deepest part of his chest. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I’ll take care of you, babe.”

You didn’t care much about your own pleasure as you rocked against him, focused more on giving him the sweet release that he clearly needed so much. There was more than lust pent up inside of him; he needed every kind of connection to you that he could find.

Small gasps escaped your lips, but you stifled them enough that they didn’t drown out Jake’s whimpers and delirious little noises of bliss. It didn’t take him long; he had given himself completely to you. He matched your pattern by bucking his hips up into you, chasing his high.

Instead of leaving you bruises the way he had a few hours ago, he grabbed the hand of yours that wasn’t working to hold you upright. Interlocking your fingers, Jake held onto you as he reached his orgasm, his hips stilling. He didn’t move. Didn’t pull out.

Jake brandished a very lazy, cheeky half-smile.

“I’m good. You can stay there, now.” He pulled you back down so that you were pressing into his chest again. His voice was near-silent. “I’m warm enough now.”

“You’re a goof.” There was no tension in you; you’d gotten exactly what you wanted from him. And he’d received the very same from you. Both of your bodies were more relaxed than they’d been in multiple weeks.

“You love me.” Jake breathed a very content sigh, wrapping his arms up around your back.

“You’re right. I do.”

A couple minutes passed before you felt the need to wiggle your hips away from his. You were sure you were crushing him, but he made no complaint as you were sprawled out above him. You opted to curl up at his side, head on top of his chest and arms wrapped around his waist. Your legs were intertwined with his.

“What a fucking day, huh?” You could hear in his voice that Jake was very nearly asleep. The sun hadn’t even set yet; there was still plenty of daylight ahead. But that mattered little to you now.

“I can take tomorrow off, too, if you would like.” You let your own exhaustion wave over you. It had been a fucking day.

“Oh yeah. I would like that.”

“Well, then so it shall be.”

Get tagged, whores

@n1ght5h4d3-24 @magicwithaknife @rmoonstoner @nervouslaught3r @unavoidabledirewolf @sarcasm-n-insomnia @kbakery @mccn-bcys @gingermous @dennyreadsfanfic @rosequinn121 @avatarofseshat @damreonsgirl @dragons-are-my-favorite @k8esilver @competentpotato @theconsultingdoctor10 @notsochillnerd @rayrlupin @moony-artemis @nerdory10 @valkyrieace @kezibear @ahookedheroespureheart @mt2sssss

Only joking. I don’t assume any of you are whores. But you could be. Idc. It’s your life.

#moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #moon knight x you #moon knight x reader #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x you #moon knight smut #moon night fanfiction #masterlist

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musicloverxoxo7 · 7 months

Text

BTS Halloween party – king and queen

Non-idol!Namjoon x fem!reader

Summary: At the party, Namjoon makes you feel hot. He walks you home, thinking you are unwell. Will you take the chance and finally jump him?

Themes/warnings: smut with a bit of plot at the beginning, alcohol, unprotected sex, nipple play, fingering, handjob, friends to lovers

Wordcount: ca. 1.9k

Disclaimer: 18+, DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE UNDER 18

I do not own BTS. They merely inspire me. None of this is related to their persons in real life.

Since you helped put together the party’s snacks, you’ve been there for a while when the first guests start arriving.

Taehyung, tonight’s host, lets in and greets the first few himself. Until he gets so busy hosting and chatting, that someone else has to take over.

You watch, leaning in against the kitchen doorframe. Yoongi mixed you your favorite mocktail earlier already. He’s a good friend.

You’re about to return to the kitchen and rearrange the decorations when you spot Namjoon. He sticks out on a daily basis. But today, with a golden crown atop his dark hair and dressed as a king, your knees feel weak.

Quickly, you walk into the kitchen and sit down on one of the chairs. This should not be happening. You feel a bit too warm and have to brush a bead of sweat away from your chest. You should not be lusting after one of your oldest friends. Except, that it is much more than lust.

You press your forehead against the cool glass of your drink. Thank goodness Yoongi was generous with the ice cubes, as usual.

“Hey, y/n.”

You almost drop your glass.

“Hi, Namjoon.”

You lower the glass and look at him. Instead of hovering over the snacks, which would be the normal things for him to do, he has stopped in front of you.

“Are you okay? You look a bit hot.”

“Oh, it’s just the dress. I’ve been working in the kitchen for a while.”

“You did the snack bar again?” He sounds excited like a kid on Christmas.

“Yes.”

His smile vanishes again as his eyes return to your red cheeks.

“Maybe a multi-layered princess dress was not the best option for a party inside.”

Namjoon looks you up and down. His eyes follow another bead of sweat that runs down your chest and disappears between your boobs. As he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobs.

You can’t meet his eyes. No way. This will end horribly if you do.

You put aside your drink and get up. Except that you have miscalculated how close he is. Your chest touches his. You open your mouth and close it again, feeling stupid.

You have to meet his eyes. His pupils are nearly double their normal size. His lips are slightly parted. Now you feel hot and cold at the same time.

You barely register that his hands have gone to your sides, making sure you stay upright in case you don’t feel well.

“I’m fine. Really.”

“Did you drive or walk here?”

“My sister dropped me off. She has the car tonight.”

“I’ll walk you home. I think you might be coming down with the flu or something.”

The Namjoon flu, if anything. You find yourself nodding, even though you shouldn’t. You’re perfectly healthy. The reason for your near fever is standing right in front of you.

“Then, let’s go.”

Five minutes later you’re out on the sidewalk, heading towards your apartment complex.

“If you feel dizzy, just hold onto me.”

“Alright.”

Except that now, out in the cool October air, you feel fine. Certain parts of you might still feel a bit warm and tingly when you look at king Namjoon, but your mind is clearer again.

“How is your sister doing?”

“Very well. She got promoted recently and now gets to travel around a lot more. That’s what she’s doing right now. She’s at a conference all weekend.”

“That sounds like fun.”

“For her it is.”

“So you have the apartment to yourself all weekend? How does that feel?”

“Good and bad. I like her presence, mostly. But sometimes, this kind of separation is very, very welcome.”

“I hear you. I have a sister too, after all.”

You casually chat about family for the remaining ten minutes until you reach the apartment building.

Namjoon accompanies you to your apartment, up on the third floor. You unlock and open the door. The smell of the vanilla cookies you baked in the afternoon encases both of you.

“You baked?”

“Yes. I usually do so on the weekend.”

You know that you’re playing with fire, but you proceed anyways. You take Namjoon’s hand and pull him inside the apartment with you.

“Have a cookie. Or two. That’s the least I can do for you walking me back here.”

“You know that was not meant to be transactional.”

“I do. See it as a well-deserved reward, then.”

Namjoon closes the door behind himself.

“Okay. I really, really like your cookies.”

You let go of Namjoon and slide out of your shoes. He does the same, takes off his crown and then follows you into the kitchen. You put the container full of cookies on the kitchen table and gesture him towards it.

Namjoon goes through a cookie before even sitting down.

In the meantime, you take your hair down and undo the complicated braids you’d put into it earlier. Your scalp tingles from how good it feels.

“Could you help me open the dress? I’d like to change.”

“Of course.”

Namjoon jumps up and brushes crumbs off his hands. He’s probably had half a dozen cookies by now and you’re happy he’s enjoying them so much.

Gently, Namjoon brushes aside your hair.

“How do I open this?”

“It’s a lace up corset. Open the little bow and then slowly loosen the corset all the way.”

He does just that, this fingers surprisingly quick and nimble.

“Does it hurt, being in a corset?”

“No. I mean, if one made it too tight, it might. But when it’s done the right way, it’s fine.”

“Your hair smells like vanilla too.”

“That happens when I’m baking.”

Namjoon inhales deeply at your neck. It tickles and you giggle.

“I think I can’t open it further without it sliding off you.”

You turn your head, now serious again. He’s looking at your lips.

“Please open it a little further. I can’t get out completely like this.”

“Y/n…”

“Please?”

Namjoon sighs. You turn back around. His lips land softly on your neck as his fingers keep widening the corset strings.

His lips leave your neck again.

“Please, don’t stop.”

You can feel his hesitation. You catch his hands and guide them to your front, running them up and down your torso and chest. His breathing against your ear is much faster now, a little ragged. Even through the layers of clothing you can feel him react.

The corset is loose enough that Namjoon can slide his hand into it and run his thumb over your nipple. You arch into him. He covers your neck with sloppy kisses.

You shimmy out of the dress and stand there in only your panties.

Namjoon runs one hand down your stomach, exploring your body.

“Your skin feels like peaches. So soft.”

Which reminds you of all the summers you have watched him devour peaches, their juice dripping down his chin.

“More”, you breathe.

His hand disappears into your panties. It only takes him a moment to find your clit. He taps it in a way that makes you legs turn into jelly.

You cling onto his arm for support, gasping as the heat grows in your lower belly.

“If you want anything ever, you tell me.”

“Keep going. Just like that.”

So he does. And keeps on doing so until the release of an orgasm makes you go limp. Namjoon holds you upright.

“Y/n?”

“Mh?”

“I have been in love with you for a long time. Is there a chance you reciprocate these feelings?”

“Same. My sister keeps threatening me that if I don’t tell you, she’ll tell you herself.”

“So, does that mean… We could date?”

“Yeah. I’m free tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night it is.”

“But, Namjoon.”

You slowly turn, stepping out of your dress. Now you are face to face with him. Well, almost, since he is taller than you.

“I want you inside of me tonight. I can’t wait until tomorrow.”

To underline your intentions, you reach for the bulge in his slacks. His dick feels huge through the fabric. You know that even in your already relaxed state it will take some adjusting.

Namjoon’s lips part in a sigh as you run your hand up and down his length. He looks beautiful like that. You lean forward and kiss him. He kisses you back gently, but it’s clear that his focus is elsewhere.

You draw back.

“Two options. Either you undress yourself and I keep doing that or I undress you and stop.”

“Number one.”

Namjoon tosses off his coat, unbuttons his shirt and throws it onto the growing heap. You have to stop for a moment so he can open his pants and step out of them, but when he comes back in for a kiss, you dip your hand into his underwear and rub over the smooth skin. He moans into the kiss. The sounds he makes turn you on even more.

You walk him backwards until his ass hits the kitchen table. Namjoon breaks the kiss this time.

“Here?”

“Yes, and right now. We can spend the rest of the night in bed.”

You bend yourself over the kitchen table, glad for once that it is so big and sturdy, and stick your butt up in the air.

“Please, Namjoon. I feel so empty.”

“Anything, honey. Anything for you.”

You feel his girthy head press against your entrance. He can only slide halfway in, because you are a little tight.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. Just maybe not relaxed enough to take all of you. You’re big.”

“We’ll take our time.”

His hand moves to your clit and he draws tiny circles on it. It takes a bit, but he can finally slide in smoothly as you squirm, on the edge of another orgasm.

“Namjoon. Please.”

You don’t know what exactly you are begging for, but he keeps playing with your clit, pushing in and out slowly until you arch your back, squeezing him so much that he has to stop moving.

Once you come down from your high, you slump onto the table.

“Mh, Namjoon. Please, start moving again. I want to feel you in me without my brain being on standby.”

Namjoon chuckles, resuming the slow, steady thrusts.

You enjoy this position. He hits all the right spots, making your body feel warm and tight with pleasure.

Quite soon, Namjoon’s thrusts become more erratic, sloppier. He folds over you, his chest against your back, mumbling nonsense until his hips still.

After a few shaky breaths, his heartbeat, which you can feel against your back, slowly returns to normal. And so does his brain.

He kisses your cheek before slowly pulling out of you. You can feel his cum trickle down the inside of your thighs. With him gone, your back feels a bit chilly.

“Were you serious when you said all night?”

“Yes.”

“Then I think we should shower next. Or perhaps cuddle, test out your bed and then shower?”

“I like option two.”

You straighten up and turn around to him. His cheeks are flushed, his hair is a mess, and he has never looked more beautiful to you.

You hug him tightly. Namjoon hugs you back without hesitation, his strength and warmth enveloping you.

“I really, really, really like you, Namjoon.”

“I really, really, really like you too, y/n.”

Please do not copy, translate, or repost my work. Doing so will make you legally liable for stealing intellectual property.

#bts x reader #bts smut #bts imagines #bts fanfic #female y/n #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #namjoon smut #namjoon #friends to lovers #halloween #bts ff

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despairots · 6 months

Text

THE ORACLE: ACT 1, SCENE 1

「 i want to touch. i want to be touched. i want to hurt. i want to be hurt. and if you feel the same way, you’re as bad as me 」

CONTENT WARNING: swearing, suicide, suggestive themes, cults, implied self harm, self destructive behaviour, depression, mental health, disorders, sexual assault, blood, canon violence, implied misogyny, reader gets mistaken as a women from men and they get mistaken as a feminine man to women, reader goes by they/them, torture, cult activities, murder, masochism, sadism, manipulation, slow burn, obsessive themes, unhealthy love, religious trauma, etc.

AUTHORS NOTE: first chapter lets gooo!!! :333 my writing might suck but please bare with me it’ll get better. did you guys pick up that reader isn’t exactly healthy and is completely deranged when it comes to their reverse cursed technique. also slow updates i forgot to say this but im not a really motivated writer when it comes to fanfics and long chapters, im okay with oneshots that have 3 parts but anything that goes 4 and beyond drains me so im sorry if chapters are slow :( just please be patient

the way you’ve been dotted and spoiled was too much that you thought you would grow up to be spoiled brat (you didn’t but it would be likely). always littered in white and always clean— they never liked dirt on your skin— so, you were always spotless.

spotless until the sacrifices.

you watched on your throne that was made but thorns, how so many people were restrained and sacrificed for you. their yells and pleads hunted your memories, the cheers and claps from your worshippers made vomit edge your throat but you held it back. they didn’t like it when you were dirty.

if you could’ve healed them, you would, but they were sacrifices for you, you. everything they did was for you, because you deity, a child above human society—when you didn’t mean that much— all because of your technique.

it could only help people if they were on the verge of death. simple wounds like a cut wouldn’t be enough to heal it, so if you restrained them and done enough damage to make them on the verge of death, you could help them and they would be okay.

physically, not mentally.

that’s also a thing you couldn’t heal. someone’s mentally stability. couldn’t heal what they saw, couldn’t heal the mental scar that had cut open their heart and burned itself there.

you weren’t capable of it—you wish you did— then maybe you could heal all the people that had come up to you and asked for you to heal the things they’ve seen, that had went ahead and snapped their minds.

the faces and curses that were shown to you once you had told them you couldn’t help. there was one time where a man had went ahead and sliced your cheek, he was apprehended and sacrificed.

but still.. you couldn’t wipe that moment away. it was a sign that you were only ever good at healing people physically. that in the end, you were actually useless if you couldn’t help them, mentally and emotionally at least.

the worshippers expressed their concern to you, watching you sit on your knees while holding onto your bloody cheek—they don’t like it when you were dirty— they took you to a bathroom. so white and bright.

a white bathtub, which was being filled with warm water, in the middle of the bathroom, herbal essentials being poured into the bathtub as they stripped you from your white clothing and helped you into the bathtub.

washing the impurities from your skin and cleaning the cut on your cheek. staring at the water of your reflection, something that shows you you’re human—anything, please just something that says you’re heart is beating and you’re real.

they had hummed a tune they always hummed when being in your holy presence, it almost seemed like they blushing while touching your skin. were always so smooth? they thought, you were some deity sent from above.

you doubted it.

some simple child with a reverse cursed technique wasn’t special nor were they sent from heaven. you born into a clan that had not visited you once and had given you to an insane clan that worshipped the child who inherited this technique.

but you weren’t a child anymore.

and here you sit. watching your worshippers laugh maniacally and kill themselves or killing eachother—they don’t like it when you’re dirty— so why? why is their blood imprinted on your hands?

did they want you to be impure? did they drag you out for so long that they went and burned these sins on you? you were supposed to be a saint, an angel, a deity.

but look.. you’re followers are dying for you and you couldn’t save them.

you’re no saint, no angel, no deity. you were a sinner, a devil. their blood was shedded for you because you were so special to them, so divine. you couldn’t help but laugh.

laugh to save yourself from sanity as you clenched onto the now stained white clothes. tears were flowing down your cheeks where it started to grow sore from all the painful laughing.

you were free. you were finally free from an endless cycle, an endless addiction that they had said you were. it was a mass slaughter of eachother.

until it went quiet from you. all their bodies were surrounded you, some would assume you killed them, you wouldn’t blame them. it was your fault. it was because you were so divine that they went ahead and sacrificed themselves for you.

your eyes widened when you felt a hand be placed on your shoulder— no, this was moving to fast— just a few seconds ago, your worshippers had killed themselves for the sake of you and now, a impure hand (though it’s ironic) laid their hand on you.

“don’t worry my child.” did you know her? why was she so warm? so motherly? why were you so drawn to her that you had crawled into her arms where you shredded no tears, you already wasted them.

thoughts and words swarmed your head, it almost seemed like you’re going insane. it reminded you off all the people who asked you to heal mental scars, you were turning into them. now you knew why that memory had craved itself in your head.

there was butterfly and spider that had managed to crawl inside the house of divinity, both had positioned themselves beside eachother, waiting for one another to attack. until heels went ahead and stomped on the butterfly, carrying a 13 year old in her arms.

could you ever guess the significance of your life? no, you couldn’t. you didn’t value your life nor did you value the time that was wasted on you. if life and death was given to you, you would’ve chosen death.

after all, you were responsible of so many people’s death and sanity. their blood was still stained on your hands that couldn’t be washed away by the water in the bathtub you submerged into. there was blood all over your body that only you could see through the water.

you couldn’t take it.

sinking your face into the water was the only thing that made the blood wash away from your view. drowning yourself in blood and guilt was relieving and delicious. did you enjoy the sight of their blood?

it made you grin with happiness. you were insane. sharp ends were dragged through your delicate (which was cut multiple times) skin, blood dripping into the bathtub as it turned the water into a wine colour.

your eyes saw black dots—you were dying— until the cuts were healed once again and you popped your head out the water, staring at the now bloody bathtub with empty eyes.

“haven’t i told you? stop staining the bath with red.” a women sat beside the bathtub, holding a towel and waiting for you to stand up—you looked good in red— she held a soft smile that made you swoon.

turning your attention from the large window beside the bathtub to the women, you sighed softly and threw your head back against the bathtub, staring up at the ceiling.

how long has it been since the incident? 2 years— no, it was 3. you were 16 now and with your family. every since the women beside you had found and taken you back to your clan, you were taught more about your clans curse techniques.

they had two techniques you had inherited: stringing art cursed technique and the technique that had cursed your entire cult.

“but it’s beautiful.” you had whispered so softly that people might’ve not heard it but she did. she always did. especially now, when she cleans and wipes the impurities off from your skin.

hearing her light and breathy chuckle made you blush from how sweet she was— and then she proposed a question she always had asked you; “would you like to die by a knife?” and you’d always respond, “i wouldn’t want to die by something so boring—so trivial— like a knife.”

and she would always hold a knife against your throat before drawing it away with no intentions of actually harming you. you had always held admiration towards her, how she can be so cunning, you wished to be like her.

you changed into a new pair of clothing, a black turtle neck, a greyish black blazer over it (that had reached the back of your thighs), and shorts with black tights. a necklace with a ring on it was around your neck, you had almost forgotten who had given that ring to you if it weren’t for the letter that was framed.

my one regret was not being able to marry you.

how childish but yet how sweet. remembering the time you had gotten that letter was the moment that made you cry for a second time but that was year ago… and you hadn’t moved on yet.

maybe one day though. one day— “thinking about him?” her voice had interrupted your thoughts about him, turning your head towards her while she stood at the foot of your door, waiting for you to start walking out.

you closed your eyes with a sigh and walked to her side, “he’s too precious to not think about.” hearing you speak so highly about him made her wonder what would happen if she died. would you speak highly about her?

no. you wouldn’t.

not after what she did.

and she knew that aswell. you wouldn’t have ever forgotten about that, you could forgive but you didn’t dare to forget. rather would take it to the grave then forget—

“oh, look at you, my dear web!” another women had approached you, taken your hands and pulling you close to her. your mother, yuka etō, now you knew where you got your looks from, and your father, arata etō, was the man who you had taken your personality from.

humming softly, one of your hands fingers slid in between hers as you held it softly, “morning.” her other hand went and caressed your cheek—never called you by your actual name— “my lovely and dear web.” her tone was implying something you didn’t want to be hooked into.

she smiled, a haunting look in her eyes that was covered sweetness, “they’ve requested you to come to tokyo metropolitan jujutsu technical school.” oh. she had stated with a slight laugh seeing your eyebrow twitch in irritation.

you wished you could decline, you really did, why couldn’t the women standing behind who’s laughing take the job? a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort. sighing, you pulled your hands away from her grasp and shoved them into your pockets.

some heavy god has put more pain on you then any other human being.

what becomes of the shepherd when the sheep are cannibals?

couldn’t escape this one now, “yeah, i’ll go.” your tone was evident of clear irritation as your mother cheered and clapped her hands, your father approaching you and patting you on your head—what a sinful touch.

“satoru gojo, huh?” you dangled a photo of the boy above your head, a lollipop being savoured by your tongue as you smirked and threw a leg over the other, leaning forward with a cheek in the palm of your hand.

the women in the driver’s seat had chuckled at your fascination towards the boy. no, it wasn’t fascination, it was more of a short interest, “where’d your sudden fascination for him come from?” she had questioned, not sparing you a glance.

she didn’t want to see the annoyed look on your face when she had said that, knowing it wasn’t a fascination or admiration, “don’t jump to conclusions.” go jump of a cliff instead was cut through your throat, keeping your mouth shut.

though, she already knew what you wanted to say. you had always wanted to say something snarky but bit your tongue back until the blood trickled down the corner of your mouth.

you sighed, rolling the window down and throwing the photo of him away, watching it fly through the air then disappearing from your view. “what’s so fascinating about this boy?” you queried, glancing at the women and tilting your head when she hadn’t responded.

all you heard was silence from her, did you she really not want to say anything about this boy? you knew gojo satoru was important and you had done your research but what’s so fascinating about him?

pouting, you crossed your arms and leaned back—until her mouth opened which got your attention— “you’ll find out.” what a boring answer but it’s better then nothing. you groaned and once again, leaned back into the seat.

you craved knowledge, more then anything actually, you were probably more gifted with knowledge then anyone else in your family. always anticipating someone else’s moves and predicting them aswell, your father had said you were truly terrifying.

knowing the gojo clan and having them technically burned into your head since your parents were teaching you about the most powerful clans out there when you came back, satoru gojo hasn’t been told to you.

a smile appeared on your face while biting your pinkies nail, satoru was cute, just not in a way where you’d expect. more like, you wanted to hold him down, cut him up and study him.

but the corpse still remains.

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