despairots

[despairots]

PIECE OF LOVE! — till ivan | alien stage.

till said he liked you, but he always looked at mizi whenever she walks past. maybe if he looked back, he would notice you. waiting, staring, wanting it to be your turn before you finally looked the other way.

content warning | character deaths, swearing, unrequited love, brief cannibalistic metaphors, love triangles, male reader but not mentioned (they/them prns).

till never looked at you, if he did (which is rare), it would be because of you talking to him just to get his attention. despite him saying he liked you when you both were young, he never gave you anymore attention once mizi arrived. till never talked to her, always expecting her to look back at him without asking her for it.

maybe that’s what you felt when someone you love is looking everywhere but you. you were always there for him, he knew too, always comforting him in his darkest times, praising him when he did a good job at his practice, making him gifts so he can be happy, but not once did he return it.

does he appreciate it? yes. returns your love? no.

till doesn’t know it but maybe if he looked back, he would see who was waiting for him all this time. it was only a matter of time before they turned away from him too when he finally looks back, and you were just waiting for you to eventually give up on him.

praying, wanting, needing for it to happen. if only things could be that easy, you would’ve been a lot more free. instead, you’re bounded to be hopeless forever, no matter how many times your alien owners tried to cheer you up. gifts, clothes, toys, stuff you needed to live until this day, it would never work.

it was until recently, at the rip age of 17, that you finally grew up and matured. turning around and living the life of a young star, your owners busting their asses for you to live a life of a celebrity. it felt good to finally be free, maybe you missed being chained down to till, after all, you still cared for him.

you wanted him to be apart of you, you still wanted him carnally, sinking your teeth into him, almost like you could smell his flesh from miles away. all that you concluded that you wanted to let go so bad, was that you still loved him.

till never looked at you.

“ [name]? “

ivan’s touch on your cheek woke you up, realizing you slept on a couch, uncomfortably so from the neck in your pain when you sat up. his black pupils that had a hint of red stared right back into yours as he kneeled infront of you while cradling your hands.

“ivan..?” you trailed off before realizing he won his match, making you softly smile, “congratulations.” ivan nodded back in acknowledgment before he stood up, pulling you up with him to bring you into a hug, putting your arms around him as you buried yourself in his neck. you were lucky ivan was here with you, loving you like till could never bring up the courage to do.

now, as you raise up your platform, dressed in white with the boy you once called yours beside you, a look of concern glistening in his eyes, wondering why you weren’t looking at him like you used too. all you were doing is staring at the ground, like you lost the will to win.

till never looked at you.

watching ivan die, just to save till with no regrets while giving him a goodbye kiss as he fell to ground made you realize something, ivan looked at both till and you, just to die for both of you. when he died, you died alongside him, now till has to go up against you.

till watched you walk up the stage, wanting to get this round over and down before he followed you like a lost dog. he never heard you sing before, he never listened to your rounds or music, he was too busy with his but once he heard you live, you sounded ethereal, pulling him into your downfall.

he didn’t notice that he was being your back up vocals before you grabbed his hand, mic just inches away from your lips, did he start his singing part. till noticed how dead your eyes looked, how cold your skin felt, and how you harshly let his hand drop yours grasp.

his eyes kept following your figure, noticing how smooth and soft your movements were, aswell as how soft your voice was being when you looked at him whenever he looked away from you. despite everything, you could never hate him.

you, who didn’t wish him harm.

you, who wished he looked back at you.

and you, who didn’t want to win.

because of that, you grabbed his wrist to pull him into a short kiss, pulling away until he pulled you back in, shocking you more than anything. a part of you wanted you to believe that he was only doing it because he missed mizi, that you were just filling in the role of her until he pulled away.

a sad smile on his face as his lips moved, saying words that you weren’t able to hear, there was a ringing in your ears, the scoreboard showing that you won. till managed to catch the look of disbelief when your eyes went back to him, he was glad that the glint in your eyes were back, just not the way he didn’t want it to come back.

the tight feeling on his neck disappeared, reaching up to grasp at it did he realize you placed it on yours. no, no! he’s already lost mizi, ivan, and now, you? it’s like the world didn’t want him to be happy with the amount of blood splattered on his hands.

your smile, and ivan’s smile will now haunt his dreams, watching your body collapse onto the ground next to him with your blood on his cheeks did he yell out of despair, cradling your body close to him as the crowd watched in disbelief.

till never looked at you.

he always did, whenever you weren’t looking in that case.

“i’m sorry for not loving you enough.”

#⑴ kaz’s written works! #alien stage #alnst #alnst till #till #ivan #mizi #sua #luka #hyuna #till x reader #ivan x reader #alien stage x reader #x reader #character death #angst #alnst ivan #alnst mizi #alnst sua #alnst luka #alnst hyuna

[despairots]

i swear if one more person says “oh actually i dont think angels gay, i see him more as bi!” okay well hes not bi. hes gay. please dont change his sexuality. you wouldnt go up to a gay guy and say “you know you dont seem gay, you seem more bi to me!” like can we stop changing characters canon sexualities just because you wanna put angel with a fem reader and pretend its okay. cause its not.

[despairots]

Angel dust is a fictional character… it’s pretty common for people to ship fictional characters with their self or other characters, even if it disregards that character’s canon sexuality, so many popular ships in fandom are straight male x straight male because nobody gaf about canon. And anyway angel dust would probably be bi/pan in canon due to his job (it’s not like a hooker/pstar would have much choice over what jobs they do or don’t take, especially with a abusive boss) plus being gay isn’t really important for angel dust’s character.

I CAN NOT KEEP HAVING THE SAME FUCKING CONVERSATION ISTG-

so what if hes fictional? what he represents isnt. aka gay people. also just because something is common doesnt make it okay. like robbery is common but that doesnt make it okay. also i give a fuck. since i actually take the time to fucking research canon sexualities. i write male reader and if viv were to ever come out saying they are straight id stop writing for them. its that fucking easy. also no. hes not bi or pan. im pretty sure either in the show or its confirmed somewhere else he charges extra for women because hes not fucking attracted to them. also just because hes a pornstar doesn’t mean hes not allowed to only like one gender. pornstar ≠ attracted to every gender on gods green earth. also yes it is. hes show flirting with men and fucking men. its part of his personality that he hides behind. being all flirty and sexy which he only does TO MEN. hes never seen flirting with or getting romanic/sexual with a women. also im a gay man. people putting a gay character with a women makes me very uncomfortable!

(also not to mention the fact its just confirmed hes gay so—)

[despairots]

Since we're still talking abt the hazbin fandom and ignoring sexualities

I hate the fact that i pretty much HAVE to read fanfics from people who write romance for Alastor. If i were to block every person in this fandom who writes romantic alastor fics i would lose access to about 60-70% of the good fanfic.

At this point i just read and dont interact, which i also hate doing because i believe writers should be appreciated but im not gonna appreciate you if you ignore characters sexualities

What makes this worse is that a lot of these people would never dream of ignoring Vaggie or Angel's sexuality but because Alastor is AroAce and that the boring queer disease its fine

- EXACTLY!!

#⑴ kaz’s answer’s! :3 #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor

[despairots]

I think one thing that frustrates me abt the whole Angel Dust thing is that there are other characters from other franchises who are essentially the same genre of character that ARENT gay that women can go after.

Case and point: Astarion from Baldur's Gate. Hypersexual effeminate(although slightly debateable for Astarion i guess) male character who has spent decades/centuries being tied to an abusive master who had to mold themselves into a specific type of person due to their trauma. Also theyre sassy.

Ik the venn diagram of HH viewers and BG3 players probably dont have much overlap but come on. Let the men/mascs have something to themselves.

(sidenote these are the same people who will kill if someone disregards vaggie's sexuality i almost garuantee it)

- THIS.

#⑴ kaz’s answer’s! :3 #hazbin hotel #masc reader #hazbin hotel x reader

[despairots]

I swear, I see way more gender neutral reader content for Angel Dust than I do male reader.

- true, but it IS better than seeing fem readers ( or nothing )

ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

#⑴ kaz’s chats! #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #angel dust #angel dust x male reader #angel dust x reader

[despairots]

- reposting this bc some of u guys didn’t understand what i was trying to say and completely ignored this.

- “but but angel dust is just a fictional character its fanfic 🥺” he’s gay. it doesn’t matter that it’s fictional, we barely get any representation and the second we do, u guys erase it. it’t not even funny, it’s disgusting, especially if ur saying this as fem aligned. u literally have no right to speak on this, ur opinion is INVALID. if you’re not gay/male aligned, u don’t get to speak on our discomfort towards ppl erasing gay rep, it’s disgusting, and it shows how much u care for representation. u have a LOT of straight characters, and its shocking how u choose the gay ones who CLEARLY wont fuck u or date u if they have the chance. again, if u r not gay/male aligned, disrespectful shut the fuck up, and stop talking as if u can talk about our discomfort.

#⑴ kaz’s chats! #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel x reader #angel dust x reader #angel dust x male reader

[despairots]

random question about your whole masc readers fem dni thing

Ok so I'm genderfluid, sometimes I feel very masc sometimes I feel kinda femme. So I'm just wondering where I would land there /genq/nm

- im not necessarily asking for fem aligned to dni to completely not interact, im just asking for them to not interact w some of male written works! :3

everyone is welcome here, i just simply ask to not request fem aligned reader and for fem aligned not to read my male readers!! (*´꒳`*)

#⑴ kaz’s chats!

[despairots]

hey, a couple things cause I'm sure you didn't mean to be insensitive.

1. having a dick doesn't automatically make you a man

2. you can be a man even of you don't have a d

3. both also apply to nb people

i get what you're trying to say and i don't hold it against you but being mindful of trans and other non-cis people's experiences is pretty important in these spaces.

anyway, hope you have a nice day 😊

- omg, right!! im so sorry, i actually completely forgot 😭 im not taking this to heart and idk why my brain instantly forgot that being a male doesn’t imply to also have a penis (also because i dont have one) thank u for pointing these out omg.

#⑴ kaz’s chats! #the way i instantly slapped myself #omg #hazbin hotel

[despairots]

Gender neutral angel dust fics are on thin ice as well. As an enby i appreciate it but sometimes it feels like they wanna write a fem reader and just dont want to be criticized

- I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEBODY TO SAY THIS. as much as i’m happy that it’s not necessarily fem reader aligned and they’re not pairing angel dust with a fem reader. it feels so weird to know that fem readers will read despite knowing his gay. i won’t complain about it as much because i might get attacked or something, but it’s the fact that they sometimes don’t even clarify or state that it’s more “masc aligned for angel dust.”

#⑴ kaz’s rants! #angel dust x male reader #angel dust #angel dust x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel x reader

[despairots]

its the same thing with vaggie x male reader or her being shipped with a male character. I hate it

- UGH THIS ASWELL!! its so irritating, the pilot and the show literally makes so much hints that she just doesn’t like men or trusts men. i have seen a couple of users on tiktok like “vaggie’s bf” she’s not gonna date you. you are male, you have a things she doesn’t like, and that’s a penis and just you’re wellbeing. i, personally, have not seen any vaggie x male reader but the fact that people STILL have the audacity to pair her with a male reader or male characters is incredibly disgusting.

- that’s the thing that irks me so much. you know she’s a lesbian but you still pair her with males?? that’s incredibly fucking weird. she has a loving gf that loves her back, and she won’t leave charlie for a male. viv also stated that she’s canonically a lesbian, strongly interested in women (a lesbian). there’s no hints whatsoever that shows she’s ever interested in males. vaggie, whatsoever, will probably never show any interest in males.

#⑴ kaz’s rants! #vaggie #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #vaggie x reader #chaggie #vaggie x female reader

[despairots]

I 100% agree with literally everything abt angel dust and i hate when people erase character's sexualities just because "its fiction"

In that spirit i would just like to mention that Alastor is aroace. I know you havent posted anything for him yet but i saw your post abt alastor and a doctor reader so i dont know if you know that.

I mean no ill will towards you since ik with all the fanfics people can very easily forget hes aroace if you even knew at all beforehand.

- oh, no worry at all! it’s fine :33 im aroace as well, and with the alastor post with doctor reader, i actually had the idea of a platonic bond (i shouldve stated that earlier, so sorry 😭) between the two because at 3 am, my brain comes up with ideas and because alastor is a cannibal, i wanted to see him with a vampire reader. i wanted to see how those two would bond together by many different authors.

- the only reason why i don’t write or post anything about alastor is because i don’t wanna disrespect his sexuality. but if i do write or post anything about alastor, it is strictly platonic but other people can interpret it as romantic if they want but either way, anything about alastor that i post is platonic. if i do write alastor as romantic, it would be one sided either way!

#⑴ kaz’s chats! #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader

[despairots]

DDUUDDEE !! I AGREE WITH YOUR WHOLE RANT ABOUT ANGEL DUST X FEMALE READER FICS. I SAW THIS POST OF SOMEONE MAKING AN ANGEL DUST X FEM READER SMUT FIC AND THE COMMENTS WERE CRAZY?? THERE WERE PEOPLE TELLING THE WRITER WHAT THEY WERE DOING IS WRONG FOR ERASING ANGEL DUSTS SEXUALITY BUT WHAT'S EVEN WORSE IS THAT THE WRITER *KNEEWW* ANGEL DUST IS GAY YET SHE CHOSE TO IGNORE IT!!! her only excuse was “yeah but other people do it aswell-”

it's honestly crazy people are like that

- it absolutely drives me NUTS when ppl choose to ignore angel dust’s sexuality because “other people do it”. there’s no excuse at all for erasing someone’s sexuality. it shows how “supportive” they are towards the lgbtq+ community. if you can’t write a fanfic with a CANONICAL gay character with a male reader, there is something wrong with you. because, frankly, if you are erasing someone’s sexuality because you are UNABLE to write male readers, then don’t. don’t write about a gay character for your own sexual pleasure. if you do so, you don’t deserve a platform, like at all.

- you are so insensitive towards our discomfort with you writing fem readers with angel dust or any gay character for that matter. if you can’t handle writing male readers for gay characters, or if you can’t, i have options for you instead of completely erasing the characters sexuality.

one, don’t write oneshots for gay characters.

two, read a few oneshots for male readers to get a grasp understanding of writing males.

- it is NOT that hard to do some research, and if you don’t wanna do any of that, then DON’T write about gay characters. its not that hard. and it’s also not that hard to understand our discomfort towards this exact problem. some of you guys need to understand that there are many male readers who feel uncomfortable when they search up “gay character x male reader” only to be scared by a bunch of fem readers writing about a gay character.

so please, for the LOVE of GOD, do NOT ever use the excuse’s; other people do it”, “it’s just fiction” or ignore people confronting you about how disgusting you are, because you are the PROBLEM.

#⑴ kaz’s rants! #angel dust #angel dust x male reader #angel dust x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #gay character #ranting

[despairots]

- i am EATING UP the cheating! lucifer x reader!!! please write more i need ro cry

#⑴ kaz’s chats! #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel x reader

[despairots]

cw, sexual topics/talks, male reader!! fem dni.

- in honour of my bday being today!!!

#⑴ kaz’s written works! #angel dust #angel dust x reader #angel dust x male reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin

[despairots]

- hazbin hotel tweets, #a. dust, #husker | #h. hotel!

story contains, sensitive jokes, swearing, sexual innuendos, reader is male bc this is mostly a angel dust x male reader x husk stuff, whoops!! sorry (not really :3) lute x vaggie mentioned ig?

#⑴ kaz’s written works! #womp womp #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin hotel lute #hazbin hotel adam #angel dust x male reader #angel dust x reader #hazbin hotel husk #husk x reader #husk x angel dust #huskerdust #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel vaggie #chaggie #charlie morningstar #vaggie #husk #angel dust #valentino #lute #adam #twitter

[despairots]

- “fem reader x angel dust” “hes gay hello??” “its just fiction” i cannot keep having the same conversation.

#⑴ kaz’s chats! #angel dust #hazbin hotel #angel dust x male reader #angel dust x reader #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel x reader