#here I am about to write a happy disclaimer for this post too fuck

[cave-cryptid]

You know what bothers me so much

How people are always spouting out "honesty" "speak your truth" "be real," when in actuality they don't genuinely want the truth. They want the sugar-coated truth. They listen to what they want to hear and close their ears to the rest, they listen to what benefits them or makes their life easier, not the reverse.

The truth is we all have lows, we all have truths that aren't so pretty, but we're not meant to share them. We're meant to act like yeah things are an itty bitty not good but you can't have rainbows without storms hehe there's sunshine just over the horizon I saw a post that said such and such and now I have a new outlook on life

Sometimes there is only rain. Sometimes there isn't a cure. Sometimes pain is meant to be felt and not in a poetic way. Sometimes certain things are dark and they'll always be, even if they lessen to the corner of our vision. I think there is such a thing as toxic positivity, not allowing people to feel certain things and sure as hell not share them.

We live in a mixed bag of a world, there are good things, there are things breathtakingly beautiful about life and existence, but there are also wretched things, things we as a society try our best to ignore, that is until it hits us personally. Then what?

We read inspirational quotes until we can't stomach them anymore. We pray to our god, acting like there's some sense, some purpose to pain, acting like it'll all go away. We all feel pain, we all fall into these pits we can't figure out how to escape, so what's so wrong about talking about them?

Every sad thing needs a happy disclaimer. For who? Not the person in pain.

The truth is we need each other. None of us truly have an answer to explain why life can be painful, in big or in small ways, why we're here, where we're going, and we need each other to survive it.

We don't need each other to explain our pain or our grief, to try and find a resolution, we simply need someone to share in it. To carry some of the pain for us, so that we can do the same for them when they need it.

We worry about burdening each other with our problems, but wouldn't we want our friends to "burden us" when they needed help?

I wish we could need each other without reservations.

I wish we could speak honestly about pain even when there's no sunshine gleaming through it.

#hngnnngngngng #I have a lot of sunday existential crises #thinking too much 🙃 yet again #thoughts #emotions #sadness #that first paragraph sounded /very/ bitter and I promise that wasn't the intent I'm just thinking #here I am about to write a happy disclaimer for this post too fuck

[graveyard-stray]

JUST SAW THE "Wanting to write x Autistic!Reader" POST AND IMMEDIATELY CAME HERE TO SUGGEST! How about Cillian x Autistic!Actress!Reader??? Let's say the reader was doing silly little things when the director gave them a break after filming a long scene? Rest of it can be your choice since i don't know much about autism! 😭

I FUCKING LOVE THIS IDEA AS SOMEONE WHO LOVES CILLIAN, WANTS TO BE AN ACTOR, AND IS AUTISTIC. COMING RIGHT UP.

That’s a Wrap! | Cillian Murphy x Autistic!Actress!Reader

Wc: 1k

Summary: after a long day of filming your overstimulated and tired and just need to unwind, thankfully your boyfriend Cillian is there to help you out

Includes: Pure tooth rotting fluff, happy & overwhelmed stimming, Overstimulation (not in a sexual way.), generally common autism symptoms

Disclaimer: I’ve written this based on my personal experiences with autism, everyone experiences it differently though so I apologize if this doesn’t fully relate to how it affects you. (+ Not proofread)

“That’s a wrap for today!” Yelled the director as the cameras cut. “Go home, get some rest and make sure those of you on schedule for tomorrow are here on time!” he reminded before beginning to help pack up some of the equipment.

A grateful sigh left your lips as the shooting for the day finally ended. It was late and today’s schedule had been crazy, shooting since 9 AM and going almost non stop till 11 PM.

You wasted no time rushing off set and towards your trailer, leaving your boyfriend and cast mate Cillian behind. This didn’t bother him though, he knew your day was long and you didn’t think you needed to wait for him, there was no logical reason for you too since you had stuff to get done without him.

So, Cillian took his time getting back to his trailer and changed out of his costume. Meanwhile you did the same. You arrived at your trailer and immediately washed off all the makeup on your face, the feeling of it caked on made you feel so dirty and you had to scrub like crazy to feel clean, even past the point where visually it was all gone.

You relished the feeling of being able to peel off your costume, this one being not a great one as the fabric left your neck a bit itchy and it was tight around your arms. The costume made its way onto a hanger and was swiftly hung on a wrack for the costume people to come grab later.

Once you were in comfy clothes and felt clean you just stood in the middle of your trailer for a moment, your hands softly opening and closing into fists as you tried to get out all your stress and unwind. Your senses had just been extra off the wall today, all the noises on set bothering you more than usual and then the costume and makeup and your stupid hairdo for the scene you did earlier. It all just had you so frustrated.

A frown crept onto your face as you realized that in your frustration you stomped off right as the scene ended and didn’t wait for Cillian. You have honestly completely forgot about him, outta sight outta mind really.

As if on cue there was a soft knock at the door to your trailer. Your eyes lit up and you rushed over to open the door. There standing on the steps was Cillian, in his comfortable clothes and a cozy jacket to protect him from the cold. In his hands you noticed what he had brought, your headphones! You had left them in his trailer before shooting started.

Your hands reached forward and immediately grabbed the headphones from him. “My headphones! I was wondering where they went!” You exclaimed.

Cillian just smiled and stepped inside the trailer, closing the door behind him and hanging his jacket up on a hook by the door. He put a hand on your shoulder and kissed the top of your head, “I saw you left them on my counter and figured you’d be needing them.” he said softly, knowing you probably didn’t want to hear anything too loud anymore. You smiled and nodded quickly. “Oh and Hi love! Sorry I just got so excited about you bringing me my stuff” you giggled before wrapping your arms around him in a sweet hug.

He wrapped his arms around you aswell, squeezing you tightly for a moment as he knew you liked, the pressure on your body calming you down. You immediately relaxed in his embrace and let him hold you there for a moment.

You pulled away from the hug after a bit, looking at him and grinning, “I’m gonna go lay down.” You said before pulling away and grabbing your favorite blanket off the trailer couch. Cillian ruffled your hair as you moved away from him, “how about I join you love?” he suggested, wanting to make sure you knew that he understood if you wanted alone time.

“Yes please! That would be nice!” You beamed, “oh can we cuddle, please!” you asked sweetly. He nodded “of course sweetheart, anything for you.” he agreed.

Your smile grew impossibly wider and your hands shook quickly to express your happiness and excitement. No matter how long you dated you always loved getting to cuddle with him and just seeing how much he loved you. He was so sweet and you weren’t super used to it even after a year.

Cillian followed you as you quickly shuffled into the small bedroom in your trailer and you flopped down dramatically onto the bed, causing Cillian to chuckle softly. “You’re so cute honey.” He mused, his tone dripping with affection.

This compliment always made you flustered, your face being impossibly red and your smile growing impossibly wide, as it always did when he flustered you or just made you so so happy. You couldn’t control his affect on you.

He climbed into the bed beside you and held his arms open. You got your stuff and snuggled close to him, your head on his chest and arms curled up by yourself. He pulled the blanket he knew you loved up so it covered you fully, keeping you nice and warm and he watched you grab it slightly and snuggle closer, if that was even possible.

you yawned once more as you finally got to really relax for the first time all day. “Thank you Cill.” You mumbled with a soft smile on your lips. He put a hand on your head and pet your hair softly. “Of course sweetheart, I love you.”

you nodded, “yeah. Or hah sorry I mean, I love you too.” you chuckled softly at yourself. Sometimes just forgetting you were supposed to also express verbally your feelings for him.

But even if you didn’t say it, he knew you loved him just as much as he loved you.

It didn’t take long for your eyes to flutter shut and you to doze off snuggled up to him, his embrace on you tight and protective just like always- and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

#x reader #cillian murphy x reader #fanfic #fluff #autism #actually autistic #autistic things #autistic #request #fanfiction #cillian murphy #cillian x fem!reader #actor #actress #reader #inbox #stress #comfort

[idksmtms]

You Are Not One of Us (Poseidon x Norse Goddess!reader) - Part 5

Full Request: https://www.tumblr.com/idksmtms/741566020545839104/im-back-and-this-is-part-2-and-some-things-i?source=share 

AN: My sincerest apologies for how FUCKING long it took me to get this out. But just so everyone knows, I am trying to finish writing the ENTIRE story before I post but it is taking me longer than expected because of self control issues. So depending on how much I get written by next week I will either post another part or post the entire story. (Let’s be real, it’ll probably just be another part). But thank you so much to everyone who is reading and waiting patiently for me to get my shit together. I appreciate every single one of you to the moon back! 

Summary: You go into hiding for your child’s safety and meet a kind young woman. You make the biggest decision of your life. 

Word count: 3,026

Trigger Warnings: she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, profanity, innuendo, age gap (even tho they are both thousands of years old), god racism?? Idk they act like “foreigner gods” is a bad thing, liking the fact that he looks older (is this a warning???), giving your child away (please let me know if I missed any) 

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians characters. I do not claim to own any of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians characters. I do not own any pictures used nor do I claim to do so. 

Always appreciate comments, likes, and reblogs :)

In the aftermath of your announcement, you and Poseidon sat together in your little hut trying to come up with a plan to keep your future baby safe. You had both agreed that you could not stay here. Too many people knew about the hut, and you couldn’t risk anyone dropping in for a visit when you weren’t expecting them. You would have to go somewhere no one could find you, at least until you had the baby. 

“I-” you paused, knowing what you would have to do but not wanting to say it. Poseidon gently rested his hand atop yours, threading your fingers together as you lay side by side on the bed. “I cannot keep him, you cannot either, not until he grows anyway.” You swallowed back your tears as he turned his head and kissed your temple, keeping his face pressed to your hair as you continued talking. “If we want him to live, if we want there to be no way that either of our peoples may kill him, he will have to live on his own until he is grown, until he can fully use his powers.” Your voice wobbled so much that you wondered if he had understood a single word you had said. 

“I know,” he whispered, eyes closing as tears began to gather again. “I know.” 

“We must disguise him in some way, as a demigod perhaps?” You posed, trying to push through, trying to force yourself to acknowledge that this is really the only way to keep your child alive long enough to see him again. 

“Yes, as a demigod he will be able to live at Camp Half-Blood, he will be safe there until he is grown. He can train, and… he will be happy, I’m sure,” Poseidon’s voice quivered just as yours had and you turned onto your side, wrapping your arm around him and burrowing your face into his neck, inhaling the scent of his skin. He could feel your lashes against his skin and it tickled, but he refused to move away, moving closer in fact. 

“Yes,” you replied, and both of you went silent. You weren’t sure for how long, but when he reached up and rubbed at his face, you pulled back. He looked down at you, a gentle smile on his face as he shuffled forward and kissed your forehead. 

“I know where you can go. The beach where we first kissed,” he smiled against your head and you giggled, shaking your head, tears now dried. “It has become popular with people now, they have built cabins just before the shoreline. You can live in one of them, hide in plain sight as a human on holiday. If anything goes wrong, just walk into the water and I will find you.” You nodded, agreeing without a second thought. You knew he only had your best interests at heart. You would follow him to the ends of the earth if he asked. 

So it was settled. Poseidon would bring you back to that beach, set you up in one of the houses, whichever was closest to the water, and you would live there until the baby was born. He would visit when he could, though it wouldn’t be often lest someone find out where you were, why he was disappearing. The only things you really had to ‘pack’ were your sword, you would go nowhere without it now, and your pearls. They would go everywhere with you, even to death. 

Poseidon kissed you, long and hard, before leading you into the water and off to your new life. 

You first met Sally Jackson on your third day in hiding. You had finally decided to venture out of the cabin, desperate to lay on the beach and catch the sun at least for a few hours. You had walked along the water's edge, dipping your toes in but nothing more or he would get worried and try to come to you. You had walked to the edge of the cabins, whispering to your child, stories that you made up in the moment or histories of the gods that Loki had once told you with glee. On the way back, just when you had turned, you saw her walking toward you, or rather, toward the final cabin. 

She was beautiful, in a gentle and effortless way. Her hair was brown and windblown, curling in the sea air. Her cheeks were ruddy from the sunshine but still smooth, and permanently pulled up in the hint of a smile. Her eyes were blue, a blue that reminded you of Poseidon, and you couldn’t help the lifting of your spirits. She wore a blue sundress, flowy and almost grecian in its colour and style. She was young, surely in her twenties, and you could only wish that the blink of her existence would be remembered. 

“Lovely day, isn’t it?” She asked as she approached, sandals in her hand, arms swinging happily. 

“Beautiful,” you replied, smile brightening. “It would be foolish not to step out and catch the sun.” 

“Agreed! One hundred percent,” she laughed, a deep and jovial sound that made your stomach tickle and laugh along with her. “Are you staying in one of the cabins then?” She asked, walking a little closer and standing by you as you looked out at the ocean (rather wistfully). 

“Yes, just down the other end, the one closest to the water,” you told her, pointing toward your new home. 

“Oh wonderful! I’m just here,” she gestured to the final, tucked farther back and close to the septic tanks. “I’m Sally, Sally Jackson,” she held out her hand to you, eyes bright. 

“I am Y/n,” you answered, shaking her hand gently, watching her in awe. She may be human, but she was the best one you had encountered to date. 

“How long are you here?” She asked, walking with you despite it being the opposite way to her home. 

“A long time,” you answered simply, but when her face twisted in question, you laughed, and tried again. “I’m pregnant, you see,” you rested your hands on your belly though it wasn’t showing yet. 

“Oh! Congratulations! That’s amazing!” She clapped happily, stopping to reach over and hug you tightly, dropping her shoes in the sand. 

“Thank you,” your voice was small, clogged up with emotion. She was the first person you had told other than Poseidon. The only person you could tell really, the only person who couldn’t do anything to hurt your child. “Anyway,” you wiped under your eyes, “I am staying here until the baby is born.” She nodded along with your words, ‘ahing’ in understanding. 

“That’s amazing, you picked a wonderful place. I would love to stay here before I have a child.” Her voice was wistful and you just rested a hand on her arm, hoping to comfort her in a way words couldn’t. You didn’t know much about her, almost nothing at all, but she was good, good to the core. You could feel it. 

‘I’m sure it will happen,” you answered, and she just laughed lightly, smiling brightly at you in thanks. 

“Well, I’m glad there will be someone else around just as long as me,” she began, and you offered her a look of surprise. “Yes, I’ll be here for the next year or so. I’ve finished school, and I don’t really know what I want to do. They gave me this place for cheap so I’ll stay here until I can figure something out, I have enough savings for it anyway. Not particularly excited to run back to NYC just yet, you know? I love the city but it can get overwhelming really easily, and I need a long break. So it’s just me and my thoughts and the beach,” she shrugged, leaning her head back to stare up at the sky, bathe her face in the sun. You watched her for a moment, the peace on her face and the looseness of her limbs, and in that moment you made a decision you knew would alter the course of history. 

You decided that Sally Jackson would be the one to take your baby. 

You waited until it was midnight, when only the light of the moon shone over the beach. Then you ventured out, over the sand into the surf, walking until the water lapped at your knees and when you sat down each wave brushed all the way up to your neck. The water was cold but welcome. The feeling of your skin going prickly made you shiver as you waited for Poseidon to appear. You met once a month in the darkest hour of the night, at the place where the water always met the sand. 

You sensed him right before you felt his arms wrap around you. He pulled you to sit between his legs, leaning against his chest. He pressed his face to your hair, inhaling deeply and sighing like every weight he had ever carried was suddenly lifted. You smiled, skin suddenly warm and tingly, and you tilted your head back to press a kiss to his jawline. 

“Hello,” you whispered, a dreamy smile on your lips and eyes half open. 

“Hello,” he returned equally quietly, then you both sat there in the quiet for some time. Though time was dwindling, neither of you wanted to disturb this moment of peace. It was so rare to feel completely at ease these days, and you wanted to take advantage of it as much as possible. 

Finally, after a long enough time had passed that you knew you only had a few moments left together, you turned in his hold and grasped his face in your hands. Your thumbs caressed the apples of his cheeks, your fingertips just grazing the edges of his hairline by his ears. You smiled, a small warm thing that made his chest feel a little too tight. 

“I have found the perfect person to take Perseus until he comes of age,” you finally said, voice so quiet that for a moment he thought it was just a whisper amidst the waves. 

“Who?” It was short, clipped, not harsh (because he could never be harsh with you, even if he tried) but worried and almost desperate. 

“Her name is Sally, Sally Jackson,” you sounded so happy when you said it, like you wholeheartedly believed in this person, so Poseidon nodded and leaned down to kiss the top of your head. 

“And you trust her?” He asked, caressing your stomach with soft fingers that almost tickled. 

“Yes.” There was no doubt in your voice, not even a waver, and he could see the firmness in your eyes, the conviction that the fates had led you to this woman for a reason, for this reason. “I think you should meet her, just to see for yourself. I-I know it is risky, but I think you will understand once you meet her.” You sat up and turned so you were facing him. You had a smile on your face, a small smile of hope that he hadn’t seen since you found out you were carrying his child. He nodded, but he didn’t smile. You understood, you understood better than anyone else would ever understand, and you reached up and caressed his bearded cheek, running your thumb over his cheekbones as he closed his eyes and leaned into your hand. 

“I love you.” 

“I need to tell you something.” You turned to face Sally as you both sat on the sand just out of the water’s reach. It was a bright and sunny day, the sand warm and crumbly under you, and you dug your toes and fingers into it. 

It had been three and a half months since you had met Sally Jackson and you had spent almost every day with her. You would spend days walking along the beach, swimming in the ocean, cooking with each other or just reading in each other’s company. To her it was the perfect summer, to you… to you it proved so much more. She found it odd that you didn’t have a phone, that you had never cooked before, that there were so many normal things that you simply didn’t know how to do. But she was sweet, and patient, and always ready to help you no matter what. 

“What is it?” Sally asked, sitting up onto her elbows on the blanket and turning to you, eyes squinted as she pushed her sunglasses onto her forehead. 

“I have not been completely honest with you,” you gulped, rubbing your hands together before picking up some sand and letting it fall through your fingers. She waited for you to speak, and until the sand had completely fallen through your fingers, you didn’t. “I am not…” 

“Not what?” She asked, leaning forward slightly and staring at you with eyebrows furrowed. 

“I am not… human,” you finally breathed, turning to rest your cheek on your knees and watch her expression. 

First she let out a breathless laugh, the kind that huffs out of one’s chest and doesn’t sound sincere. Then she gazed at you for a long while without saying a word. Her face was serious, not a hint of that disbelieving laughter from moments prior. She reached out and gently touched the ends of your hair, a dainty caress, then she sighed so long and loud that you began to worry about her. 

“You sound absolutely insane, but I think I’m worse because I believe you. It actually makes a lot more sense that you’re something otherworldly rather than a human. Like you said you’ve never cut your hair but how has it not grown any longer than that? You said you’ve never been shopping in your life but you somehow always have new clothes. And… I don’t know, there’s just something about you that doesn’t seem real. You don’t seem real.” You smiled sadly as she spoke, closing your eyes and listening to the gentle swish of the waves crawling up the beach. 

“I told you because there is something very important I need to ask you. If you are willing to listen, I will tell you everything that has happened that led to my being here. Then you may decide your answer to the question I will pose.” You opened your eyes and watched her face as you spoke. Her brows furrowed as if she couldn’t quite understand what you were saying and why you were saying it, but eventually she nodded and you turned to fully face her. You sat with your legs crossed, hands clasped, and began from the beginning. 

“I… I don’t know what to say,” she whispered, staring at you as if you had just asked her to cut off her head and hand it to you on a platter. You smiled woefully, a horizon of tears trembling on your lash line. 

“I understand, it is a huge thing to ask of a friend, even more than huge, but you are the only one I trust, the only person I know who will be capable. My child cannot go back with me, they will kill him once they know who its father is. I… I cannot let that happen, Sally. I cannot. He deserves to live a full life, deserves to know that he is the product of love, that he is loved. He will grow up to be a god one day, he will grow up to be powerful and to unite worlds, simply by being himself.” You saw the way her chest trembled as she breathed, you could hear each raspy breath. Her nose was running, her upper lip pulled taut over her teeth as she chewed on it. Her eyes were rimmed with pain and redness and tears and you wanted to reach out and hug her but stayed your hand. 

“Sally… I understand I have asked the world of you. And of course you need not make the decision now, you have all the time in the world, until this child is born. He will be disguised as a demigod, so even if either world discovers of his existence, they will not think twice about him. You must raise him until he is old enough to make the journey to Camp Half-Blood. He will be safe there, and your job will be done.” You stopped and you swallowed, wiping at your eyes. “You may think me crazy to ask this of you, I understand, truly, I do. But you are the strongest person I know, human or god.” She stared up at you, hands trembling and face open in surprise. You reached out and grabbed her hands. “Because you have something everyone can only wish for. A strong character. A strong will. I know no one else who would do this as well as I know you would. I know you will be the best mother, regardless of if the child is your own or not. I know you will nurture them, protect them, love them. So please, think about it, ask me anything you wish to ask, and only then, make your decision.” 

Both of you sat there for hours, not saying a word. Sally had pressed her face into her hands, breathing steadily, and you could almost hear her thinking. You did not say a word, just lay flat on the blanket and stared up at the sky, hands on your stomach. You caressed it up and down, whispering to the child in your mind, telling him that this would be for the best, that this was the only way to keep him alive. But this did nothing to dissipate the pain in your heart. 

You felt Sally shift beside you and you turned to look at her from where you lay on the blanket. She had finally pulled her hands away from her face and had wiped her eyes. They were still puffy and red but she was staring out at the sea with determination on her face. 

“I want to meet him. Your husband. Before I decide.”

#poseidon pjo #pjo poseidon #poseidon deity #poseiden #poseidon #poseidad #poseidon fic #poseidon x reader #poseidon x reader pjo #sally jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjotv #pjo #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson #percy jackson show #percy pjo #percy series #perseus jackson #pjo books #poseidon x norse goddess reader

[loukaiitis]

Notes and Journal Entries by Kip Kinkel

A compilation of writings by Kip Kinkel. This is for informational and educational purposes only. Post is below the cut.

Disclaimer: the majority of his writing pieces (that have been released to the public) are only available in a typed transcript format, provided by PBS. Because of this, I am only able to include a few images of the original writing. This post will be updated if any new images come out!

Journal Entry by Kip:

"I sit here all alone. I am always alone. I don't know who I am. I want to be something I can never be. I try so hard every day. But in the end, I hate myself for what I've become.

Every single person I know means nothing to me. I hate every person on this earth. I wish they could all go away. You all make me sick. I wish I was dead.

The only reason I stay alive is because of hope. Even though I am repulsive and few people know who I am, I still feel that things might, maybe, just a little bit, get better.

I don't understand any fucking person on this earth. Some of you are so weak, mainly, that a four year old could push you down. I am strong, but my head just doesn't work right. I know I should be happy with what I have, but I hate living.

Every time I talk to her, I have a small amount of hope. But then she will tear it right down. It feels like my heart is breaking. But is that possible. I am so consumed with hate all of the time. Could I ever love anyone? I have feelings, but do I have a heart that's not black and full of animosity?

I know everyone thinks this way sometimes, but I am so full of rage that I feel I could snap at any moment. I think about it everyday. Blowing the school up or just taking the easy way out, and walk into a pep assembly with guns. In either case, people that are breathing will stop breathing. That is how I will repay all you mother fuckers for all you put me through.

I feel like everyone is against me, but no one ever makes fun of me, mainly because they think I am a psycho. There is one kid above all others that I want to kill. I want nothing more than to put a hole in his head. The one reason I don't: Hope. That tomorrow will be better. As soon as my hope is gone, people die.

I ask myself why I hate more than anyone else. I don't know. But my head and heart want him dead. He only knows who I am through reputation, and I know he is scared of me. He should be. One bad day, and there will be a sawed off shotgun in his face or five pounds of Semtex under his bed.

Oh fuck. I sound so pitiful. People would laugh at this if they read it. I hate being laughed at. But they won't laugh after they're scraping parts of their parents, sisters, brothers, and friends from the wall of my hate.

Please. Someone, help me. All I want is something small. Nothing big. I just want to be happy.

End. New day. Today of all days, I ask her to help me. I was shot down. I feel like my heart has been ripped open and ripped apart. Right now, I'm drunk, so I don't know what the hell is happening to me.

It is clear that no one will help me. Oh God, I am so close to killing people. So close.

I gave her all I have, and she just threw it away. Why? Why did God just want me to be in complete misery? I need to find more weapons. My parents are trying to take away some of my guns! My guns are the only things that haven't stabbed me in the back.

My eyes hurt. They hurt so bad. They feel like they are trying to crawl out of my head. Why aren't I normal? Help me. No one will. I will kill every last mother fucking one of you. The thought of you is still racing in my head. I am too drunk to make sense.

Every time I see your face, my heart is shot with an arrow. I think she will say yes, but she doesn't, does she? She says, "I don't know". The three most fucked up words in the English language.

I want you to feel this, be this, taste this, kill this. Kill me. Oh God, I don't want to live. Will I see it to the end? What kind of dad would I make? All humans are evil. I just want to end the world of evil.

I don't want to see, hear, speak or feel evil, but I can't help it. I am evil. I want to kill and give pain without a cost. And there is no such thing. We kill him - we killed him a long time ago. Anyone that believes in God is a fucking sheep.

If there was a God, he wouldn't let me feel the way I do. ....Love isn't real, only hate remains. Only hate."

Essay about love, written by Kip

"Love Sucks

No, I don't believe in love at first sight because love is an evil plot to make people buy alcohol and firearms. When you love someone something it is always taken away from you. I also would like to add that I hate each and every one of you. Because everything I touch turns to shit. I think if you think you fall in love with someone at first sight it might just be lust. Love at first sight is only in movies. Where the people in the movies are better than you. That is why you go to a pone [pawn] shop and buy an AK-15 because you are going to execute every last mother fucking one of you. If I had a heart it would be gray.

It is easier to hate than love. Because there is much more hate and misery in the world than there is love and peace. Some people say that you should love everyone. But that is impossible. Look at our history it is full of death, depression, rape, wars and diseases. I also do not believe in love at first sight. But I do believe in hate at first sight. Therefore love is a much harder feeling to experience."

Monologue written by Kip for a homework assignment. This monologue was written for the character Tybalt of Romeo and Juliet.

"But you know me, I loathe all of them. I am no longer blind in my hatred, I can see with my hate. Blood will flow until they are all dead. This was the first moment in my life where I had taken the life of another. I loved it. It dispelled all the anger and animosity I was feeling."

Note written by Kip, confessing to the murder of his parents. This was found on a coffee table in the living room of the Kinkel's home.

"I have just killed my parents! I don't know what is happening. I love my mom and dad so much. I just got two felonies on my record. My parents can't take that! It would destroy them. The embarrassment would be too much for them. They couldn't live with themselves. I'm so sorry. I am a horrible son. I wish I had been aborted. I destroy everything I touch. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I didn't deserve them. They were wonderful people. It's not their fault or the fault of any person, organization, or television show. My head just doesn't work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. I want to die. I want to be gone. But I have to kill people. I don't know why. I am so sorry! Why did God do this to me. I have never been happy. I wish I was happy. I wish I made my mother proud. I am nothing! I tried so hard to find happiness. But you know me I hate everything. I have no other choice. What have I become? I am so sorry"

A concerning note written by Kip on a Spanish worksheet

Another concerning note by Kip

"Respect Sheet" filled out by Kip

#loukaiitis #kip kinkel #tcc #true crime #kip

[loving-strawberry]

✶(Reversed)Breaking up prank goes wrong with Stray Kids✶(Hyung-Line)

Maknae-Line Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with the other post on my blog!

Summary: You take your boyfriend prank seriously.

It was a request!

A little note: Sorry, not sorry. I wanted to go with full angst post, but I didn't know how to compensate the pain, so two of them will end up good. Maknae line will be posted in a few days, split as well. I will not be doing part two for the angst endings. Also, I got too much into details to do simple hcs.

Genre: Angst, Fluff. (2 Happy endings, 2 sad endings)

Pairing: Bf!Skz x gn!reader

Warning: lot of swearing, actual break up, mention of food and drinks, mention of cheating, talking about insecurities and not being good enough, talking about not feeling loved, mention of slapping and hitting (?) Possibly some writing mistakes.

Bang Chan☆

Felix fault on this one, honestly.

He told Chan about this prank, and Chan somehow... decided that it will be a good plan.

So he put his plan in use when you were out shopping and saw you were pretty late.

You left your boyfriend a little note saying that you went to do groceries, so he knows where did you go as he arrives home. And you left a specific time when you get home, because you are never late, so saying specific hours are normal.

But unfortunately for you, as you were driving back home, you got stuck in traffic. And your phone didn't had any battery left, leaving you stressed out because you will be late home and you hate being late.

Chan got home some time now, and saw the note, so he was expecting you to be back soon. But when he saw that you are not back yet and you're not responding his messages, he grown a bit worried, but calmed down, knowing that you had a good reason to be late. Most likely being stuck in traffic. That's when the thought of a break up prank that Felix showed him recently popped up in his head. This was his perfect opportunity to do it, knowing you don't really mind pranks and some of them you find them funny.

One hour later, you finally came home, stressed up for being this late.

As you enter your house, you see Chan sitting on the couch. "Hi, love! I'm sorry for being this late! I got stuck in traffic..." you smile sweetly and walk over to him.

Chan is actually relieved that he was right and you are safe, just stuck in traffic. But now's the time to go on with his plan. "Are you sure that you were stuck in traffic?" he asks suspiciously.

Now you are looking at him like his third eye just grew on his forehead, confused on what was that all about. "Yeah? Why?"

"I was just thinking that you were cheating on me. So, tell me straight up. Who are you seeing behind my back?" he looks at you in all seriousness.

"Am I what now??? How low are you thinking of me???" now really angry and even more stressed, because you couldn't believe what you are hearing. You didn't ever gave Chan any reason to think that you are cheating on him, but here you are, your boyfriend accusing you of this.

Straight up ignoring you just questioned, he continues his idea "I think this is over between us. I can't believe you."

"Are you fucking serious??" you are trying your best to keep yourself from slapping him right now. That's when you see his small smirk on his face, you realize that it was just a prank. Usually, you don't mind his random pranks learned from Felix, but right now, you were super stressed because of your late arrival home and because of the traffic, that you really got mad at him.

"Ok. We are over. As you said. Go on and pack up your things and leave." you say coldly as you look at him.

Oh shit... He fucked up. Now his smirk fade away so fast. "I'm really sorry, my love! It was a prank!" he come closer to you, but you just turned and walked away without saying another word. Finally understanding that you need some space, he walks out the front door in an instant.

You are now in your shared bedroom, sobbing out all of your painful feelings, trying to process what just happened. That was just a prank, but it did hurt you pretty bad. Was just because of the stress? Were you just too dramatic? Now you are regretting taking it too seriously and hope there will be a way of making up for it.

After 30 minutes, Chan comes back home, and you get out of the bedroom, wanting to talk with him, but before you could say anything, he shows up and stops in front of you, having a big bouquet of your favorite flowers and a box of chocolate.

"I really want to apologize for that reckless prank. I understand if you don't want to see me again, I should've known that it was going to hurt you. And I didn't have to accuse you of cheating either, even as a joke. I'm really, really sorry. I don't why I thought it was funny. I-" as he continues to ramble and mutter apologies, you take the bouquet and box out of his hands and hug him tightly.

"It's ok, love. I was also overreacting... I was too stressed and let it out on you... We both know that I won't ever cheat and I know that you trust me. But please don't do a prank like this again. These ones can hurt." you kiss his cheek and smile softly at him.

"You didn't overreact, you were hurt. And I promise I won't pull these pranks on you again. I love you so much." hugging you tightly to his chest, he starts kissing your lips over and over again, happy that you are still his and you forgave him.

"I love you too."

Lee Minho☆

He knew from the start that this prank is a stupid plan

Then why he did the prank on you anyway? No idea

He just texted you that he wanted to meet with you so you could talk something

So now, there you are. Standing in the middle of your living room, waiting for Minho to speak. You could see on his face that something isn't right, this putting an unsettling feeling all over you.

As you were about to ask him if something is wrong, your boyfriend spoke one thing that was actually unexpected for you, making your heart drop in an instant. "We need to break up..." he doesn't even looks at you, already feeling guilty.

"Why...? Without any reasons?... Did I do something wrong..." you are trying to make eye contact with him, but he just won't look at you. This is making you feel even worse than a few seconds ago. Million of thoughts starts going in your mind like a spiral and you start fighting to keep your tears from spilling "It was my fault... Wasn't it...? Was I not enough for you, I knew it..."

Hearing this, Minho finally looks up to you and the feeling of guilt now became full regret, written all over his face as well. "No! No! Don't say that!! It was all a prank!" he tries to take you in his arms, but you shove him away.

"Prank...? Seriously...?" you back away from him, not wanting to be anywhere near the man who was supposed to be protect you and your feelings, not to play around with them.

"I-... I'm really sorry... I don't even know why I did this prank... I know it was a stupid idea..." Minho tries getting closer to you again, but you just keep backing away.

"Yeah. It was a stupid idea. And I think I know why you did it. You don't actually care about me. Because if you did, you won't pull something this stupid on me." kept looking at the floor, you finally letting go to the flow of tears.

"I do care about you... I'm extremely sorry... I love you" he stops moving seeing how you just keep the distance.

"Oh please. Keep the apologies to yourself. You shouldn't do it in the first place. You surely do love me." the last sentence that escape your lips was a sarcastic one and also filled with venom. So much venom, that made Minho's next words caught in his throat.

"Leave my apartment, now. We really are over."

Nodding and without any protests, he just turns on his heels and goes towards the door. You are unable to move as you just look at your now ex boyfriend exiting through the door in silence.

As soon as the door close behind him, you finally broke down sobbing, everything being poured out alongside with your tears and heart aching with so much pain. You are so confused as to why he did something like that as a joke. Was this simple for your feelings to be played as they just got played a few minutes ago? Did he even cared about you in the first place? Did he even loved you?

Because of that prank, everything that was left now were two broken hearts. You were left in a spiral of thoughts and feelings. You were left hurt and in pain just because of a stupid prank.

Seo Changbin☆

He decided to do the prank right away after he heard about it, not really thinking it will bring any serious harm and it will be just fun

Oh boy... He was so wrong about it

And the fact that he did it on one of the most stressful periods in your life, left both of you in total pain

You just got to their dorms, wanting to spend some quality time with your teddy bear of a boyfriend and just let him hug all the stress out from your soul. Not knowing this will turn out to not happen anymore.

As you enter into Bin room, you were meet with a serious aura around your boyfriend "Is everything ok, teddy bear?"

"I need to talk with you about something..." he pats the free space on his bed, beside him and you go take a sit there. You look at your boyfriend and hum, letting him know that he has your full attention. "I miss you... I feel like you are not loving me anymore. I don't think I want to be in this relationship anymore" the look of hurt and confusion on your face right now made his heart fill with so much guilt and regret.

"What...? I'm so sorry... I was that busy that I forgot about you...? I thought I was giving you the love you needed..." truth be told, you are in an extremely stressed period of yours, you are focused on your exams and you've been studying so much that sometimes you forgot even about yourself, but that didn't really stopped you from according attention to your boyfriend whenever he needed you. This way, you were also getting rid of some of your stress, by spending time with him. The thought of you not giving enough love to Changbin never crossed your mind.

"It was a prank!! I'm sorry!!" he starts hugging you tight, hoping that you are going to forgive him. But this isn't the case right now. You force yourself out of his arms. All the stress you accumulate these past few days made you snap at him.

"You asshole! I was thinking that I made you feel unloved! What the fuck?! And why the fuck did you thought that doing something like this will be funny?? It is funny playing with someone's feelings??"

"I'm really sorry... I promise that you make me feel loved..." he doesn't dare looking at you anymore, regret getting everything in him.

"Yeah. Because I'm trying my best to give you all the love you need, even when I'm busy. But do you love me? Someone who loves won't do such a bullshit on their partner." you are sitting up from his bed and move towards the door, Changbin following you.

"Of course I love you! I promise I won't do anything like that on you again!" he tries to stops you from leaving, but you just storm out, scaring the other 3 members that were chilling in the living room.

"You are right. You won't do it anymore on me, because we are done for real. Hope your future girlfriend will be treated better. Don't contact me anymore." and with that, you loudly shut the front door behind you as the words flew in the air and left Changbin in pure terror.

"What the fuck did you do??" Hyunjin asks all confused.

"I think he played that break up prank I showed him a few days ago." Han responds, feeling guilty for showing this to Changbin, knowing fully well that you are stressed out with exams.

"Leave him alone, guys." Chan interrupts the other two, when he sees that Changbin is starting to tear up as the realization that he lost you for good hits him hard. He takes a final look at his members, then goes back in his room and locks the door. He just now realized that he will feel unloved from now on, as he mentioned at the start of his joke.

As for you... You just went straight home, trying your best to maintain your emotions from getting out in public, as you process the thought of your just now break up. What you wanted to be a chill evening after a stressful day, turned out to be actually the end of what you loved the most.

Now you won't be able to get all the hugs and kisses you were craving before. As you just want to be left alone, too hurt to see him again.

Hwang Hyunjin☆

He saw the hell prank on the internet, he wanted try it on you, not knowing the potential consequences

He's lucky the outcome isn't tragical

"Hyunnie, I'm here!" you said as you arrived at his dorm. He texted you a few hours ago to pay him a visit after you get off work, as he wanted to talk with you. You did as your boyfriend asked. Not really paying too much mind about why he asked to see you all of the sudden.

"Oh... Hi" you take a look at your nervous boyfriend and starts to feel uneasy yourself. "Can we talk about something...?" he gulps as you make eye contact.

"Did something happen, love?" taking a sit on his bed, you let him gather his thoughts as he just pace back and forth in his room.

"Unfortunately... I'm forced to break up with you..." he says, not looking at you, knowing that his soft spot for your sad eyes will kill him in an instant.

"But we are allowed to date as long as it's not public our relationship. What are you talking about?" you are more confused than hurt, honestly. But of course you still feel sad hearing about all of this.

"Our managers are saying that I'm distracted easily. And they believe is because of you. I'm sorry, my beauty" he finally looks at you again, and instantly regretted everything as soon as he sees your face stained with tears already.

"It's ok. I understand." you get up and head towards the door to leave, wiping away the tears that keeps overflowing your eyes.

Hyunjin runs after you and hugs you extremely tight in his arms, that you almost can't breathe anymore. "I'm so, so, so, so sorry, my love! It was just a prank, I swear!!! I won't ever break up with you for real, doesn't matter who is forcing me to! I'd rather give up everything for you!"

"Are you serious? A prank?" you give your boyfriend a deadly stare when you hear his explanation.

"Yeah..." he looks so defeated right now by his stupid choice of actions.

"How old are you? 7?" you hit Hyunjin on the back of his head.

"Ow!!! I'm really sorry, ok!? I won't do it again! Can I have your forgiveness...?" he starts massaging the spot where you hit him as he's dramatically asking for you to stay with him and forgive him.

"Fine. You're forgiven. But I'm excepting lots of cuddles tonight." you pout and your boyfriend starts laughing at how cute you are.

"Of course, my muse."

.............................

✧ Masterlist ✧ ✧ Tag List ✧

@bangchansbae @tattywood @nebulousbrainsoup @https-skzology @sp00ky-spr1te

#stray kids imagine #stray kids x reader #stray kids au #stray kids smau #stray kids fake texts #stray kids #skz imagine #skz x reader #skz au #skz smau #skz fake texts #skz #bang chan x reader #bang chan #lee minho x reader #lee minho #seo changbin x reader #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin #han jisung x reader #han jisung #lee felix x reader #lee felix #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin #yang jeongin x reader #yang jeongin

[chishiyaisasnack]

Dare, part 4

Part 3 Part 5

It’s back! This has taken me forever to write but I’m finally done. It’s based on the ask that requested me to write a sub!Chishiya thing. I have posted another one that I wrote based on that ask, but I’m still not happy with that one. Here is the one that I am happy with.

I’ve both written and posted this on mobile so I apologize for any formatting errors.

Disclaimer! This is pure smut, nsfw as heck, so don’t read it if you aren’t of age or if you are uncomfortable with that topic. No other warnings, it’s pretty wholesome over all. It is also pure fiction. Jizz doesn’t just go poof when it’s inside someone, like it does in this series lol. Use condom and always ask for consent irl.

I hope you like it!

You had not had the best day. It was an awful, annoying and infuriating day actually. Meetings that led to nowhere, parties that were way too loud, even someone that had grabbed your ass when you walked by. And then the militants coming after you as you punched that guy straight in the face and threatened to cut off his dick and feed it to him. You didn’t know he was a militant, and if you had known you probably would’ve punched him again. All you knew was that he was an asshole. So was Niragi when he thought he finally had a chance to punish you and decided to drag you into a secluded area, but thankfully Aguni walked by and put a stop to all of it. You did manage to knee Niragi in the crotch though, so that felt pretty good.

You couldn’t shake that frustrating feeling that was bubbling inside you, even hours after you got back to your room. You had tried to meditate but the music and loud noise outside were too distracting. You tried reading but after reading the same page ten times you gave up on that too. You needed something to relax you, something fun to get your mind off everything that was annoying you at that moment. You needed someone to get your mind off everything. And you knew exactly who to find.

You found yourself wandering the Beach, looking for something, or rather someone, to take your frustration out on, but with no luck. It wasn’t until you were on your way back to your room, navigating through the long corridors of the hotel, that you spotted your target leaning against a wall with his hands in his pockets while looking very unamused about having to listen to Kuina talk about whatever it was she was telling him. Good.

You picked up the pace to get to him quicker, and when he finally noticed you he raised an eyebrow and prepared to say something to piss you off even more. You didn’t let him.

”I’m going to borrow him for a minute” you told Kuina know before she, or Chishiya, could say anything. Then you grabbed a hold on Chishiyas arm and pulled him with you.

”What are you doing?” he asked as you turned around a corner, him stumbling after you while trying to keep up with your pace.

”Fucking you.” Your answer was so blunt that you could practically hear the shock mixed with amusement on his face.

As soon as you had reached your room and unlocked the door you forced Chishiya inside before you, following him with quick steps before pushing him up against the closest wall.

”I’m having a shit day” you started explaining while you yanked down the zipper of his hoodie. ”And you’re going to make it better.”

”And how am I going to do that?” he answered with a smirk as you started to peel the hoodie off him. He didn’t help at all, just stood there watching you work on getting his arms out. Ugh, why did his hands have to be so big?

”I guess we’ll have to find out.” you mumbled. When the hoodie hit the floor you didn’t wait and shoved one hand down his shorts, putting it over the already growing bulge in his boxers. Chishiya raised an eyebrow as a response but he didn’t seem to hot and bothered yet, even with your hand palming his cock. Annoying. You wanted a different reaction from him. You wanted to see him desperate. So, naturally, your next move was sinking down until you were sitting on your knees, taking his shorts and boxers with you until they were joining the hoodie on the floor.

”In a hurry?” Chichiya asked, amused that you seemed to be throwing yourself at him. He reached down and pulled a strand of hair away from your face before letting you get back to whatever you were doing.

”Shut up.” You didn’t give him a chance to react before taking his length in one hand, stroking it with a firm grip, starting at the base and working your way up in quick motions. Chishiya wasn’t prepared for your starting pace and had a hard time keeping his face obnoxious while your hand worked around him, although his breath starting to come out just a little faster.

You didn’t stop until he was nice and hard. Then you leaned forward, opened your mouth, and slid his cock in as far as you could take him. Chishiyas breath hitched at the sensation, involuntarily bucking his hips towards your face to get more of the warmth of your mouth, but you were ready for it and backed off until he was out of your mouth again.

”Don’t move or I’ll stop.” Your voice were suprisingly stern, even to you. But you liked it, especially the way he responded by tensing his abs and clenching his fists.

Approving of his actions you gave the tip a kiss before taking him in your mouth again. You didn’t waste any time and started moving your head back and forth in long strokes, from the tip until he hit the back of your mouth, and then back again. Your tounge worked around him, and when you finally sucked on your way back his hips followed you, not wanting the feeling to end. Irrationally irritated that he couldn’t follow a simple request, you pulled off him, leaving his cock hard and wet as you looked up at his flushed face with annoyance covering your face.

”I told you not to move.” you scolded him, gripping the base of his cock hard, enough to make him a bit uncomfortable but not enough to hurt him. He was visibly confused at how you were acting, like he was trying to figure out if you had gone nuts or if you were trying something new.

”Put your hands on the wall behind you.” you ordered. An order, not something you thought you’d say but it felt good to say it. It felt even better when Chishiya slowly moved his hands back and placed them on the wall behind him, seemingly bothered by being bossed around but also intrigued by what you were doing. And probably choosing the option of you sucking his dick over being a nuisance, at least for now.

”If any of your hands come off the wall I’ll stop again and this time I won’t go easy on you.” you warned him. He was turned on by this, you could see it all over his face, but you doubted that he would give you an easy time.

”Anything else, boss?” Chishiya answered with a smug look, just as you expected. Brat. He couldn’t help himself, when given the opportunity to talk back he had to do it. You didn’t accept it. Not this time. This time you were pissed off and horny and that brat wasn’t going to have his way.

”You really want to make life difficult for yourself, don’t you?” you asked him while you started to stroke him again.

”Says the one sitting on her knees.” he shot back, voice cracking from the way you gripped him tighter.

”You have no idea what I’m going to do with you.” With saying that, you swallowed him down, sliding his cock over your tounge and sucking nice and deep as you bobbed your head up and down. Your hand stroked what you couldn’t fit in your mouth and it moved smoothly over him, his cock wet and messy under your touch. Chishiyas breath was getting faster by the second and it didn’t take long until he was getting close to the edge. Without thinking about it he reached down and ran his fingers through your hair. You pulled off him right away.

”You still can’t follow a simple rule, huh?” you muttered and wiped your mouth with your thumb. To his disappoinent you rose to your feet and grabbed his wrists, pushing them back onto the wall.

”I thought you were smart. I guess I have to make it easier for you to understand.”

————

One good thing that came with having a bigger room than Chishiya was that it came with a desk, and a regular chair. That chair worked great for your next idea. It only took seconds for you to drag him with you, pull out the chair to the middle of the room and push him down on it. He was looking so confused as he watched you walk around him and grab the backpack he had left in your room after your first adventure with the dildo.

”What are you doing?” He asked, brows furrowed and cheeks still painted red from almost coming.

”Since you can’t listen I have to take matters into my own hands.” you explained while you found what you were looking for. A red satin rope was bundled up in your hand, soft but still too strong for someone to break out of. Chishiya must have gotten it to use it on you. Your idea was much better. ”Sit properly and move your hands around the back of the chair.”

”What?” He knew what you were going to do but he wasn’t going down without a fight.

”You can’t stop yourself from touching me, so I’m just helping you with that.” Moving over to the back of the chair and crouching down, you took one of his hands in yours. You started to loop the rope around one of his wrists, tight but not tight enough to hurt him.

”Y/n, is this really neccessary?” He wiggled his fingers in another attempt at a protest, but you didn’t care.

”Yes it is. Now, give me your other hand.”

He slowly moved his second hand back and you swiftly tied both of them together, ended it with a knot and gave it a tug.

”Does it hurt or feel uncomfortable?” you asked him while tracing a finger right above of where the rope sat on his wrists. It looked pretty.

”It’s fine.” he muttered, still not completely accepting his fate.

”Okay, good.” When you stood back up your couldn’t help but to stop for a second and look at the scene in front of you. Chishiya naked on a chair with his hands tied and completely under your control. Shoulders rising and falling, littered with small dots and birthmarks, his hair cascading over them, like a beutiful grey waterfall. You reached out and ran your fingers through it, and that made him look back at you with a face of someone who had given up on messing around and was ready to follow you, or at least pretend to. Eyes dark and pleading for you to touch him again, mouth slightly open and breaths falling out of it in a steady pace. How was he so stunning?

”I have some rules and I need you to listen to them.” You started making your way back around him until you were standing in front of him, looking him straight in the eyes.

”First, you can’t touch me.”

”And how would I be able to do that?” he huffed and moved his hands in a futile attempt to remind you about the rope. It only made you smile to yourself.

”Since you seem to think that I’m dumb I’m going to explain it to you. If the rope comes off your wrists, either if it unties itself or if you find a way to get out of it, everything will stop until you let me know that it came off and nicely ask me to tie your hands back together again. Also, your mouth stays off me unless I say otherwise.”

He answered by sighing. You raised an eyebrow before continuing, smiling condecendingly.

”Two, do as I ask and you will be rewarded. If you don’t then you’ll be punished. I won’t do anything that hurts because I’m not into that, but I still have plenty of ways to make you suffer.”

Chishiya was still trying to grasp what was happening, that you were in control here and that if he wanted to come he would have to do what you said. You could tell that he wasn’t too pleased by it, but he didn’t say anything and kept listening to you.

”Three, and the most important part - if you ever feel that you want to get your hands free, or if you want to stop, I need you to tell me the safeword. No matter what the reason behind it is. We will stop everything until you are comfortable again, or stop completely. Can you do that for me?” You looked softly at him as you explained, making sure that he was listening and fully understanding what you were saying. You needed him to know that you didn’t want to do anything to hurt him or anything to make him uncomfortable. You had chosen a safe word, ’umbrella’, in one of your earliest encounters and you had both talked about how important it was for the both of you to speak up if you wanted to stop. That trust made all of this so much better.

”Yes.” The look in his eyes, mixed by the calm way he answered, made you sure that he listened and understood.

”Thank you.” You turned your attention back to his midsection, his cock still red, hard and now neglected, waiting to be touched again. When you looked into his eyes they were sparkling back to life, especially when he saw you pulling your top off in one swift motion. You made sure to stretch, to make a scene out of it so that he wanted to touch you even more. The look on his face showed you that it was working.

Using only the tips of your fingers you stroked the skin from your hips, up over your waist, chest, and finally the skin between your breasts, who were only covered by the lacy bra you had on. Chishiya was entranced by how you moved, how your fingers hooked around one of the straps and pulled it down over your shoulder, just to be followed by the next strap.

”Don’t you wish that you listened to me before?” You spoke softly, the tension in the air covering most of your words.

”You could have been the one to do this. You could have taken my clothes off. Kissed me. Touched me.” You moved your hands down to your waist again.

”Your lips would feel so good on me, Chishiya.”

A look of disappointment flashed across his face, but quickly went back to the neutral look he always had on when he didn’t want to show you what he truly felt. It wasn’t that hard to figure out what he wanted, after all his eyes were glued to your hands, his tounge wetting his lips as you moved on to slowly, teasingly, pull down the short skirt that you were allowed to wear, leaving you in only your bra and panties now. It had been a struggle to get to wear actual clothes at the Beach but the executives gave up on trying to make you go in only a bikini and settled the debate by letting you wear whatever you wanted as long as you didn’t keep a gun under there. It wasn’t like you could hide a weapon under there anyway, it would show right through the clothes. Chishiya had been extra positive about you wearing what you wanted, only so he could be suprised with what was underneath. Pervert.

You bent down, placing your hands on Chishiyas knees and your face in front of his, almost close enough to kiss him, but far enough away to back off when he tried to catch your lips with his. A small push from your hands made him part his legs for you and you stepped right between them.

”You look good like this, you know.” You absentmindly praised him while you lowered yourself onto the floor, keeping eye contact, never loosing the tension you’ve built.

When you sat down on your knees you placed a kiss on one of his, and softly dragged your fingers over his other and up onto his thigh. He was shivering under your touch, his soft skin turning into goosebumps wherever your fingers went. You stopped just before you reached his cock, twitching in anticipation.

”It looks uncomfortable. Let me help you with that.”

Chishiyas face lit up, probably expecting you to touch him, but it died down again when he saw the smirk that was back on your face. Leaning in, you got so close that you could feel the warmth radiating of his length, watching the precum dripping down onto his stomach. Then you opened your mouth as if you were to take his cock into it, only to change direction in the last second and blow a stream of cold air onto it instead. Chishiyas whole body shuddered and a barely audible whine left his lips as he desperately tried to push his hips towards your face.

”Hmm… needy, aren’t we?” This time you ran a finger down his torso, from his chest down to below his belly button, right where the head of his cock were leaning. Lifting your eyes up to his, you leaned your head to your side, licking your lips.

”I haven’t even gotten to the fun part yet.”

You stood back up on your feet, gently scraping your nails on his legs as you did, only to let your hands land on the waistline of your underwear.

”Do you want me to take these off?” you asked him, dragging a finger along the seam, dipping it inside just to take it back out again.

”Fuck... yes.” It was probably a good thing that he was tied down because he looked like he wanted to eat you alive. The dark desire in his eyes were captivating, almost luring you in, almost making you forget what you were doing. Every fiber in your body wanted to set him free.

”Want to take them off me?” you whispered seductively, walking one step closer to him, pulling at the waistline to show him just a little more skin. A huff left his mouth and he tried pulling his arms forward, to no avail.

”Just let me out so I can touch you.” he tried demanding, but was shut down right away by you pulling your panties down your legs until they landed on the floor.

Pushing one leg between his you seperated his legs again and sat down on one of his thighs, your legs on either side of it, but careful not to touch him anywhere else. The bra was the next item to fall to the floor, and you made a show of it by throwing it over his shoulder first, just to watch it slide down and land behind him. Once again he tried leaning in, tried to put his mouth on your now bare chest, and once again you were just far enough away for him to fail. Despair was building on his face but he still wasn’t begging, or even asking, and you were damned to change that. So you kept going.

”I can’t believe how wet you got me already, Chishiya.” You started to grind on his thigh with slow rolls of your hips, making sure that he could feel everything, that he knew what he was missing out on. One of your hands cupped your breast, fondled it, played with your nipple, giving him a enticing show of your own pleasure. The other hand held on to his shoulder to keep you steady while you continued to use his leg.

”It could have been you, you know. Your cock instead of your thigh. Your mouth instead of my fingers.”

”I can do that. I can touch you.” He was so close to begging now, you could hear it on his voice. It was hoarse and clouded with need.

”Can you?” you asked sweetly, teasingly running your thumb along his collarbone. ”Can you make me feel good?”

”I can make you feel so good.” he stated with a low voice, dark and captivating. ”Fuck, I’ll make you cum until you can’t stand, eat you out until I can’t breathe. Let me show you.”

You were shocked by the way he talked, and almost lost character for a second, clearing your throat to cover it up. If talking dirty was what he was going to use against you, you would do it better. Leaning in, you placed your mouth right against his ear.

”Can you make your cum drip out of me after you fuck my brains out? Not stop until you filled me up? Can you give me every drop you have, Chishiya?”

The groan coming out of his mouth was out of this world. It sounded painful, low and rumbling, so fucking good that it made you whine in response. Fuck, his voice would kill you before you would be able to break him. Just a groan and it went straight to your core, fanning the flames that were alreade there, making you want to devour him.

You moved your head back and placed your forehead on his, mouth so close that you could taste his breath.

”Fuck, keep making that noise for me. You sound so good. So fucking good.” Well, if he hadn’t realized that you had a thing for his voice, he sure knew now. You kept your face against his as you rode his thigh harder, pushing your clit down onto it, helping your orgasm arrive faster. You were so turned on, so needy, and so ready for that coil in your belly to snap. The hand on your breast left to grab the hair on the back of his head, forcing him to stay close to you. Then, snapping you back to reality, you noticed that he was pushing his thigh against you, trying his best to help you come. Damn it, why couldn’t he just listen?

With a sigh you stopped grinding against him and rose to your feet, making sure to show how disappointed you were. You had to hold back a laugh when you saw the face he was making, so confused yet so irritated that you had just stopped.

”I told you not to touch me. Did you think I couldn’t feel your leg pressing into me? What am I going to do with you…” He needed a taste of his own medicin, that’s what you were going to do. You quickly disappear behind the chair again, out of his sight, and dove into the backpack again. This time you fished up a small vibrator, the shape of a lipstick case. It was small, but it had been very nice last night when you tried it out for yourself.

”What are you doing?” Chishiya had his head turned towards you but he couldn’t see that far back, only hear the toys shuffling around.

”You didn’t get a toy for yourself when you were out shopping.” you mentioned as you stood back up and made your way back to him, ignoring his question. ”That’s a shame. A fleshlight would be fun.”

He grunted, like your idea of him using a toy on himself was offending him.

For a second you considered going back to his lap but you changed your mind and placed yourself behind him, leaning your chin against his shoulder and wrapping your arms around him. The effect of your constant teasing was showing, beads of sweat covering his skin, chest moving rapidly, cock weeping precum.

”I tried this out last night” you continued, holding up the small vibrator in front of him, then placed it flat on his chest, before turning it on to the lowest setting out of three. The toy buzzed to life, which made Chishiya jump under you. He was so tense. Good.

”I came three times, and all I could think about was your mouth doing it to me instead.” He swallowed hard and you answered by kissing along his neck and simultaniously moving the vibrator further down his stomach. You could feel his body move under it, the vibrations feeling better for him the lower you got.

Right when the vibrator was about to touch the wet head of his cock you changed course and moved it along side it, down to his hip, trailing it over his inner thigh. Finally, you placed it on the bottom of his cock, right above the balls, and Chishiya let out a low groan.

”Fuck…”

Then you started to use the vibrator to slowly stroke his cock, from the base up to right below where the head started, and back down again, almost like you would do with your fingers. His hips rose out of the seat, overwhelmed by the sensation, but you didn’t stop. You kept stroking, slow and gentle, up and down.

”Y/n… shit, it’s too much” he managed to breathe out, but you could feel how he pressed harder against the vibrator as he got used to the feeling. His cock surely seemed to enjoy it, dripping like no tomorrow.

Besides, he didn’t say the safe word or tell you to stop.

”You’ve been wanting me to touch you all this time, and now you changed your mind?”

”Ugh… not like this.” His voice was cracking, quiet moans filling up the space between the words.

”Then how do you want me to touch you?” you whispered right into his ear.

”Do you want me to stroke you? Use my hand until you cum all over my chest?” You trailed your free fingers down over his collar bone, marking out the space you’d let him paint on you.

”Or do you want me to use my mouth again? I know how much you like that. Maybe I’ll make you cum in it too. I’ll show you every drop before I swallow it.”

Even though he had told you before that he didn’t want to cum in your mouth, that it was kinda gross to him, the groan coming out of his mouth told you that it had been a lie.

”I bet you want me to sink down over you, take your cock in as far as I can. I’m so wet that it would slide right in. Hmm, do you want that Chishiya?”

Then you turned up the vibrations to the next setting.

Chishiya choked on an inhale before hissing out your name.

”Y/n… yes, all of it. Anything.” His words were coming out in pants. He was breaking. Finally.

”Then you have to ask nicely.” You didn’t let up, kept stroking him with the vibrator, even let it linger under the head just a little every now and then, and were delighted by the groans and twitches he gave you for it.

”Y/n…” Chishiya was close, you could tell. His cock was so hard, so red, so ready to cum. So you turned up the vibrations to the highest setting.

Chishiya didn’t groan, didn’t protest. He whined.

”Please.” High pitched and needy, the whine tore through the air, thick from the tension and need between you, and straight down to your core. You wanted nothing more than to fuck him into oblivion. You were so close to your goal, so close. Just a little more.

”Please, what? Tell me what you want Chishiya.” Please, for the love of god just tell me.

”Please fuck me.” Then he snapped.

He came, so hard that his body tried to fold over itself, cum spraying up to his shoulders, almost landing on your face. His body was twitching violently, cock pulsing with every spray, breath so heavy it sounded exhausting. He was so fucking gorgeous.

”Good boy.” you whispered while turning off the vibrator and throwing it onto the bed next to you.

”Fuck, Chishiya, you are doing so good. You look so pretty.”

You kept praising him while he calmed down, whispered comforting words in his ear as you caressed his shoulders and ran your fingers through his hair. His head was bent backwards, eyes closed and cheeks painted red as he tried to catch his breath while finally coming down from his high.

Moving slowly, you walked around him and sat down on his lap again, not grinding this time. His eyes opened slightly to look at you but too tired to lift his face back up. Instead of doing anything about your own, by now throbbing center, you just leaned forward and placed light kisses all over him. His shoulders, his chest, his neck, everywhere you could reach. Fingers tangled in his hair, longing to pull on it while fucking him in this position. Then you smirked, making sure that he noticed it, then chuckled as realization hit him. You weren’t done yet.

”I haven’t come yet.” you whispered against his skin.

You worked fast, before he got soft. Taking his cock in your hand, you moved to hover over him, then sunk down inch by inch, the growl coming from him fueling you on even more. Finally having him inside you felt so good, and you showed it by clenching around him when he was fully inside you, his legs twitching from overstimulation.

”Think you can give me one more, Chishiya?” you asked, gently rolling your hips, listening to the way he hissed when you dragged his length inside you. Every slow grind from you gave you a new sound from him. His shoulders were trembling, chest heaving and eyes shut tight as he tried to get through the intense pleasure that your wet walls were giving him.

”I… ah, I’ll give you anything you want.”

Hearing him talk like that sent shivers down your spine. It didn’t matter if he was faking it to get what he want, or if he truly were that desperate, the words of the mewling man under you made your heart skip a beat.

”Does it feel good?” you asked him, watching him swallow hard. You wanted an answer so while still rolling your hips on him you grabbed a handful of his hair on the back of his head just to bring his face back up to look at you. His eyes were hazy, clouded with desire, mouth open and beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

”Yes.. oh fuck, yes” he groaned back at you, trying to buck his hips up to get further into you as you kept riding him painstakingly slow. As soon as you realized that he was moving again, you stopped your motions and leaned in, putting your mouth right next to his ear.

”Chishiya…” you whispered, his pants almost drowning out the sound.

”I told you not to move. Do you really want to push it again?”

”No, I’m sorry.” he whimpered, sounding even more broken than before. ”I’m sorry, please just…”

”Mhmm… you feel so nice inside me. If only you would listen to me, I’d be coming around you already.” You ground your hips down on him once, making him inhale sharply.

”I’m going to move again, and this time I won’t stop until I’m satisfied. I won’t stop even if you cum. I’ll keep you hard for as long as I need you.”

You started your slow ride once more, moving your hips up and then back down again, dragging him inside you just the way you wanted him. He was shaking under your hands, that were placed on his shoulders for leverage. The ropes were still holding him down through his continuous efforts to touch you.

With your forehead against his, you closed your eyes and let the feeling of him fill up all your senses. His breath against your mouth, shoulders under your fingertips, warm skin pressing into yours as you molded yourself after him. It was sweaty, wet and messy, and completely intoxicating. His moans filled your ears as they mixed with your own. They were so soft, so desperate, so not like him that if you didn’t know any better you couldn’t have believed that it was him under you.

”Y/n… I can’t… I’m close” Chishiya whimpered as you kept getting tighter around him. You were close too, he just needed to hold on a little longer.

”Yes you can, I know you can. Wait for me.” You moved a hand to his hair, grabbing it, keeping his face even closer to yours as you sped up your movements. And then you kissed him, hard.

For the second time tonight you heard a cry and felt Chishiyas body twitch against you as he came. His lips left yours in a hurry to breathe but you catched them just as fast, only leaving them so he could gasp for air every few seconds. You kept moving your hips, kept fucking him even though he was shaking from the stimulation.

”Just a little more” you whispered against his lips when you let him breathe the next time, screwing your eyes shut and concentrated on the feeling of his cock hitting the exact spot you needed it to. His moans were so pretty, so needy, and they went straight to your core, setting you on fire. That fire tore through you, building up in your fingertips, making it’s was down to your toes. All you needed was…

”Please come for me y/n”

Chishiyas strained cry was all it took. You came with his name falling out of your mouth, waves of pleasure rolling through you as you rode out your high. Chishiya was hissing in the background, his cock so sensitive that his whole body tried to move away from you, but he was still holding on. He let you ride out the last of it, let you use him until you were completely spent, and then he sank down in the chair from exhaustion. You put your head on his shoulder while you both calmed down. It wasn’t until you could feel him getting soft inside you that you moved, wincing as he slid out of you, not enjoying the empty feeling it left behind.

”Are you okay?” you whispered softly into the warm skin of where his neck and shoulder met.

”Mhmm.” was all you got as an answer, but since he didn’t say no you took it as a yes.

”Can you untie me now?”

”Yes, sorry.” With the strength you had left in you, you stood up and wobbled over to the back of his chair, just to sit back down and graze the red rope tied around him.

”How are your arms?” You started to untie the knot that was suprisingly still holding on strong. The rope revealed rosy marks on his wrists as it left more and more skin to be seen. It looked lovely, flushed against his pale skin.

”They’re fine.” He sounded tired, but honest.

”Good.” You placed a kiss on one of his wrist before letting him go.

”So you think that I’m pretty?” Chishiyas words made you cough, caught completely off guard.

”Huh..?” What was he talking about? When did you say that?

”You told me that I was pretty.”

You looked up and saw him smirk down at you as you were sitting on the floor, unwilling and too tired to stand back up again.

”That’s what you took away from all this?” You shook your head and sighed. You were never going to hear the end of it. That’s why you never told him that before. Why couldn’t you keep your horny mouth shut?

Chishiya moved his head back and leaned it backwards to rest, his hair falling over his shoulders.

”Now I know why you keep staring at me.”

#chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x reader #chishiya x y/n #my writing #aib chishiya #chishiya #chishiya smut #chishiya x fem!reader #chishiya x reader smut #chishiya shuntaro smut #shuntaro chishiya x reader #shuntaro chishiya

[accio-victuuri]

Sugar Rush: September CPNs 🍬🍭

The month of BXGs had some very exciting candies! Let’s review them together ^^ Same disclaimer applies. Only for CPN-loving bxgs. If you hate this kind of thing, please spare yourself the pain and scroll along.

• Similarity between Shengyang & Yibo ( when what you love becomes a career )

• Same brand = Covernat

• Them being the Sun 🧡

• WYB’s Pechoin Ad spotted in an episode of SBMS

I really have a lot of feelings with the Shengyang x Chen Shuo AU pairing. They are so perfect together!

I mean….. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

• There is something about the similarities between shengyang & yibo in the way that they look at the person they care about the most that gets me. it’s this whole “puppy” devotion they got going on. an innocent kind of love.

the kind where you look at the person’s reaction first when something happens, you wanna see them happy before you enjoy what’s in front of you. even if they don’t talk, you carefully observe their body language cause you wanna figure out how to help them and show them that you’re on their side. ☀️

• In a BTS released by One & Only, they showed some wardrobe and looks for Chen Shuo. This one is him wearing a black helmet instead of red. Did you see the peppa pig sticker? and i can’t make out the other one. What a coincidence, considering the CQL crew’s “history” with peppa pig 😂😂😂

• Not really CPN, but to archive this incident where cpfs commented WYB photos on ZZ’s douyin post. This reminds me of that 95 post on weibo, where it was all cpf, then 🍤 of course did the most to “erase” that. but that comment section has so many interactions. I’m 50/50 on this, I think it’s unnecessary to do it, knowing full well that it will “provoke” a fan war and i personally don’t want that. The other half of me tho is cackling cause cpfs surely know how to troll. My fave tho are photo comments of cute fandom dolls 🥺🥺🥺

• One and Only top box office in Chongqing on 9/4

• Summary of SBMS clowning material from 9/1 to 9/5 ☀️

• Similarity in WYB & XZ selfies ( vintage motorcycle gear )

• XZ’s mystery driver, and was it WYB?

• INNER MONGOLIA MYSTERY : I’m naming it as such because it’s truly a mystery as of writing. There’s been some rumors already that LOCH & Mermaid will have scenes shot in IM. XZ tho is confirmed to be there. The cast and crew were spotted and XZ is not exactly hiding it either, his IP is there.

What makes it sus is a video captured that is allegedly of the hotel entrance where XZ stays. It’s too dark to see who he is with but some cpfs are saying you can see someone who is like WYB going in too w/ XZ. the way the person walks tho is so WYB as far as I can tell. And the most sus thing is the hotel closed all the lights in the lobby. Who the fuck does that. Yeah I know XZ is VIP and they will do everything to protect him and make sure no photos of him will be taken. But to actually close all the lights??? There must be something more… probably another VIP guest????

and well this.. whatever this is… it’s not covering with umbrellas anymore, it had come to this kind of hiding already. and how they were hiding who was coming in and. there were 2 people. so yeah. 👀

again, i am including this here to archive but i’m not fond of them being followed around like that. just leave them alone to work in peace. 🙃 we should be more focused on their projects and not act like paps. understand the reason why there are proxy shooters is because there is an audience.

the most sus thing do, is come monday, the black cloth and all the cover up was not done anymore. So it makes you think that they were really trying to hide something in those days they used it. 🤡

• SBMS clowning series version 2 / version 3 / version 4 / version 5 / version 6

• Hangzhou Asian Games power couple 🔥🔥🔥

• THEM and Li Qin as leading lady 😂😂😂

• Their long hair! Please bring it back for both please and thank you ☺️☺️☺️

and the fact that GG is absolutely glowing in the photo. We’ve been speculating that WYB visited him, so is this the result????

• YIBO-Official 9th debut anniversary debut clowning: who folded the shirt // 2019 memories, new? black panther drawing and day&night selfies // XZ signed the artwork + the pose is inspired by yibo

• Edited background in yibo’s selfie + Why we think this was taken in Inner Mongolia

• Couple autograph !!!!

• RIO becomes cpf’s friend lol

• Love is like this / Fireworks

• The timing of their posts ( an example )

• This is so funny!!!! Now that we have a glimpse of Wei Ruolai, he is being paired to Xiao Sa — who we know is Mister Ye’s. So it’s now a love triangle 😂

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

• bracelet & hand cpn - i don’t personally buy into this cpn but a huge chunk of the fandom were talking about it so i’m including it

• XZS Vlog Chapter 6 candies: ZZ & WYB similarity in XZS vlog + xzs and ybo are working together again & salomon shoes & mosaic design + panda rumor

• Matching Mid Autumn festival post ; Also how WYB’s look like there is a Mole. ☺️

There are also talks of the photo being taken from a proper camera, the most popular guess being a leica. I guess how YBO reposted this and said something like how Bobo is a “photographer” clued people in. But it could be because he posted an artsy photo like this instead of a selfie. 📷

—— END ——

See you all next month! 💕🍬

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do #sugar rush

[msmargaretmurry]

any advice on how to not get overwhelmed at the prospect of writing a longer fic? 😭😭 i freak myself out with “ohhh what if i get too far in and then it turns out it sucks” and “i’ll have to do so much research for certain canon compliant things” etc etc

hi anon! i would be happy to share some of the things that work for me! we all know i love to talk incessantly about writing. thank you for giving me an excuse to. ❤

standard writing advice disclaimer that this is indeed all just stuff that works for me personally. it might not work for you, or you might have to tweak it to work for you, because different things work for different people! like all writing advice, it is best approached as suggestions and not as rules, so while i think this is all stuff worth trying, i also think that if you find it doesn't work with how your writing brain works, you should absolutely chuck it out the window.

firstly: get comfortable with the idea that the story is going to evolve as you write it. when you're writing something long, you ARE going to get far into it and realize you fucked something up at the begininning, or realize you left something out, or realize you need to change or cut something from earlier for the story to work. this does NOT mean that you're writing badly! recognizing those things is actually super smart of you! you are not beholden to what you wrote a week ago or a month ago or six months ago in your WIP. you can simply change it to better suit this story that you now know more about. no one will even know that you originally wrote it differently except maybe your alpha reader or pal you've been bouncing ideas off of, and they're legally required* to take that information to their grave. i will touch a little more on editing long fic in a minute, but i really do think this is maybe the most important piece of advice: accept that your story will change as you write, and think of it as a good thing.

(*i am not a lawyer)

writing your long fic is going to take a long time. that's a huge part of what makes it such a nerve-wracking undertaking! writing long fic is dedicating a huge amount of time and energy to a creative project that you have a lot of feelings about, and it can be really hard! but it can also be so rewarding and so worth it to see all that work turn into the story that you really wanted to tell. just the sense of accomplishment of FINISHING a long-term project like that is really cool and gratifying. it's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking "what if i put in all this work and then it sucks" but i think it's helpful to try to reframe that thought as something like "i'm going to put all this work in and learn so much about this story, and figure out how to make it the best that i can make it at this stage in my writing journey."

also, again: your first draft is not going to be perfect. it might be deeply, deeply flawed. you ARE going to have to edit. that doesn't mean you were writing badly. that is a normal and even essential part of writing. your story doesn't suck if the first draft is kinda fucked up. your story is NORMAL if the first draft is kinda fucked up. especially with long fic, getting the story out and then editing holistically to make it all work is really where the magic happens.

(i know there are people who post chapter by chapter while they write instead of writing the whole thing and editing it altogether; i cannot speak to their processes because i cannot write like that 😂)

if you are lucky enough to have a trusted friend or two willing to read as you write, cheerlead, and help you pick through tough spots in the story, i do recommend you take them up on it! because it can take so long to write a long fic, having people who are excited about your story and to provide that gratification can be really helpful. two things to keep in mind here are to make sure your alpha-readers are people you can trust not to flake on you and who will be reliably able to give pretty quick feedback, and to try to resist the urge to call on them to read every single time you write more. i usually go to mine in 5–10k chunks of long fic draft. obviously this isn't a hard and fast rule at all, but i think it a) gives them meatier chunks of story to give me feedback on and b) helps me get and stay comfortable with writing for longer periods without feedback, so i can concentrate more on the story and be less distracted thinking about how other people will react to it.

on the research front: research can be really daunting!! unfortunately i am a nerd who loves research so i usually see it as a fun challenge. but i think there are a couple of things that might help. when you're getting ready to dive into your long fic, make a list of things you're going to need to research, then divide them into things that you NEED to know to write the story (e.g. dates of important games, for pacing reasons) and things that can wait until after you get the first draft down and are editing. like, if you're writing something set in a city you're not familiar with and want to include local details, you don't need to do that research up front. use placeholder tags to fill in during editing — [RESTAURANT] or [STREET NAME] or [DESCRIPTION TO COME AFTER I LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW] — or just leave yourself a note to come back and add descriptive details later.

also, remember that fic readers are often super willing to let some inaccuracies slide for the sake of a good story, so it's okay if not everything is perfect! you are also allowed to elect to ignore canon when it does not serve you. like, in HAW, i simply said hello we are pretending that matthew re-signed in calgary, that there were no notable roster changes from the previous season, and, on a smaller potatoes level, that brady is still living with timmy and josh. because that's what i wanted for my story (and also because the matthew trade to florida happened when i was already about 70k into the draft and i was like, fuck it, we're doing it anyway 😂). which is all to say that it's okay and even good to find a balance between doing research/committing to accuracy and saying fuck it for the sake of your story.

on the editing front: try to limit the amount of editing you do while you're writing. you can get so caught up in forever tweaking what you've already written that your forward progress completely stagnates. leave most of your line-editing for after you have a draft. if you notice something that you want to change, leave yourself a note and do the actual changing after you have a draft. if you notice thousands of words in that you totally forgot that one character has a dog, leave yourself a note to go add the dog in later, and continue writing as if the dog has been there the whole time. no one will know that the dog in the first half was added in later.

the amount of STUFF that goes into a long fic can feel pretty overwhelming, so i am big on leaving myself notes and making lists when writing long fic. i know i am not going to remember every thought i have, but i know i will TRY TO remember them and will get totally bogged down. leaving a note or making a list de-bogs me so i can come back to that detail when it's time to deal with it. two essenital lists that i keep in my notes app while i'm working on a writing project are:

a list of ongoing subplots, themes, motifs, and/or mini-arcs that i want to make sure i thread evenly throughout the fic. i do not trust myself to remember these without writing them down. this is super helpful especially if i get stuck, because i can go to the list and ask, okay, what is one of these that i haven't revisited in a while, because that should probably happen next. a HAW example of this is quinn as a side character — at least once i looked at my list and was like, oh, quinn hasn't shown up in a while! i should figure out how to do a scene with him next!

a list of things i will want to review and edit for after i finish the draft. if i stop and edit in the moment i lose momentum; if i don't write the thing down, i might forget about it. so i'll just quickly add it to the list and be able to go back to it when it's editing time! a HAW example of this is me writing on this list "make it more clear that matthew is kind of a mama's boy" and eons later paying close attention to that thread in editing and adding a little more of their relationship to the story.

again this is not a hard and fast rule! sometimes i'll run into an issue with my fic and be like, oh no if i don't go back and fix this then i won't be able to figure out how the story needs to go from here. so obviously in those instances i immediately go and edit that thing! i think it takes practice to be able to tell the difference between "edit now" issues and "edit later" issues but i also think that like 90% of the time it's an edit later issue.

also, always keep a dump doc. (instead of deleting stuff from your draft, cut and paste it into a separate document for safekeeping. this makes it easier to kill your darlings since you are not actually killing them but re-homing them, and can come in handy later.)

one last thing i want to touch on is writer's block or getting stuck in the middle of a draft. with shorter stories, you can sometimes get them out in one or two creative bursts and this can be less of an issue (although obviously not NOT an issue. i am not trying to suggest that people writing shorter fic don't deal with this, lmao. the scale is just different.) writing something long is more about sustained creativity over a long stretch of time, and you are going to have highly productive periods and less productive periods because you're a human being who needs to refill their creative well sometimes. when this happens, try not to panic or despair. sometimes you run into a snarl in your story and you really just need to take a few days to ponder and let the solution come to you. however, if you get stuck and you are getting frustrated trying to figure out what comes next, here are a few things that i find helpful:

get outside and go for a walk or a run. listen to music or a podcast or audiobook. let your brain relax.

talk to a (fannish) friend over the phone/videochat or in person about it, over coffee or dinner or something. sometimes talking about it out loud helps process things in a different way than typing.

figure out what the next big plot point you want to get to is, and then look at where your story is now, and think about what needs to happen to get them to that point. does character A need to trust character B more? devise a trust-building scene. does character A need more self-confidence? think about what kind of scene would help them build confidence.

(this might also involve looking at what you've written already and going, oh, i could build that character beat into that scene from last week! and suddenly everything works better.)

go to your dump doc — is there an abandoned snippet or idea in there that's of more use to you now?

look at your list of ongoing themes and subplots! if there's one you haven't touched in the draft for a while, figure out what's going on there!

you might not get it right on the first try and that's fine. there are scenes that i've completely re-written 4–5 times before they felt right enough for me to move forward. that can be frustrating, obviously, but it doesn't mean you're a bad writer! it takes skill to recognize when a scene isn't working!

okay, i think that's all i've got for now. i really do think that the most important thing with writing long fic is to embrace that it's going to be a long-term project, with ups and downs, productive periods and recharging periods. let the story grow and evolve as you write it. you're not going to get everything right on the first try and that's normal. it is actually so fun to be writing a scene in the back half of your story and suddenly realize you can pull the whole plot together way better by adding two sentences into a scene you wrote three months ago. writing a long fic is not like digging a tunnel, all forward progress to get to the light. it's like building a house and then rearranging the furniture and decor inside until it looks and feels the way you want it to.

i hope that some of this was helpful! good luck with your writing!! 💕

#ask #writing

[shark-myths]

Sending My Love From the Other Side

Things we should discuss:

Pete’s sexy metal Viking princess unitard, he’s waiting to be rescued by a barbarian, I can only presume he is a bride-prize for the hero who can save him

The Folie-ness of it all, the ship at sea but not doomed, not this time; instead it is a vessel of hope

The mythology-of-the-band frame narrative

How the title references back to Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash

Stardust stardust stardust and Pete’s fear of space objects

What do Field of Dreams and The Princess Bride have in common?

For those expressing concern about Joe’s absence both on Sunday and in this video—he writes in his recent book, None of This Rocks, about emergency back problems during the latter end of this pandemic, compromising his ability to walk for a brief post-surgical time, exacerbated by overworking. He writes about learning boundaries, learning to rest, and asking his band for accommodations for his health. It seems likeliest that he’s recovering from a back-related issue, rather than conscientiously abstaining from participating in this record as he describes doing with MANIA.

General ranting about lyrics:

DISCLAIMER: It’s not me, okay, it’s the text, it’s Pete being incapable of writing anything that doesn’t sound like it’s about forbidden queer love, I could not make this shit up, I truly could not

“Model house meltdown”

Reminds me of walking through the house in your shoes, I’m supposed to love you; reminds me of I’m just playing house, no idea what I’m doing now. It’s a very dark Tim Burton-y sentiment from an outwardly happy man living a domestic fairy tale.

“We were a hammer to the Statue of David, we were a painting you could never frame, and you were the sunshine of my lifetime.”

THE PAST-TENSENESS HERE

Right from the start, this sets us up for something universally perceived as perfect and beloved being destroyed. This could be a reputation, a cultural relic, a profound piece of history, a narrative, a love. We were a hammer that destroyed it, that perceived thing… 

We were a painting too profane to be displayed in a museum, hidden and damned? Or we were larger than life, uncontent to be contained by a frame, always in motion, chimeric and twining, together apart, together apart, a tesselated image you can only see if you zoom out and unfocus your eyes.

You have all read my opinions about twenty years of Patrick = sunshine metaphors, which seem to be getting pretty FUCKING literal here at the end of days.

“Nowhere left for us to go but heaven, summer falling through our fingers again”

Among other things, this seems to be a VERY explicit reference to Heaven’s Gate.

I am feeling the hope of MANIA (you know my manic poly dream reading of that beautiful, purple beacon of hope) replaced by what the pandemic / apocalypse did to us all. So much for stardust, indeed.

Summer symbolizing touring, festival circuits, linking to the recent FOB instagram post that showed video from the Hella Mega Tour with the caption “take us back here.” The liminality and fleeting-ness of those spaces, those selves, that unmoored time of doing nothing, being everything. The way they want to be home when they’re on the road and the way they want to be on the road when they’re at home. Summer slipping through our fingers again, like the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass, gone past, gone past.

“What would you trade the pain for? I’m not sure”

Isn’t that a fucking question, my friends!!! The pain of longing, unsatisfied, love, unrequited or unconsummated, forbidden and forsaken? The pain of not-having, or of having-had? The pain it was to be together? Welcome to my glossary of suffering

And what would you trade it for? Is this a question of, what is it worth and I can’t imagine giving it up? Or is it a past-tense question—a way of saying, I traded that exquisite pain to get what I have now, and I’m not sure what it was for, I’m not sure if it was worth it.

“Every lover’s got a little dagger in their hand”

Tbh someone smarter than me will have more to say about this, I am sure. Tarot and betrayal and the way love has thorns and anything worth having always hurts, everyone you trust with love will hurt you and let you down at least a little bit, imperfections and prices paid. But it’s also a very classic, very catchy and poetically deep sounding chorus of the type FOB loves to use and do not always hold a deep reading. 

“I saw you in a bright clear field, hurricane heat in my head.”

More field-of-dreams invocation and playfulness! If there is not a stadium show at that field, I am going to light something on fire, it is the only pilgrimage I care about from this day forward.

“Inscribed like stone and faded by the rain: Give up what you love before it does you in”

LITERALLY what can I even SAY about this and the past tense and the DECISION, the question popped by MANIA that was answered only by global cataclysm and forced separation, the way they began work on this album in early 2021 (per Joe’s book). I can only hear this in conversation with the tracks on that record.

“The kind of pain you feel to get good in the end”

I was all prepared to do some read about morality and queerness and what you give up for the people you love, until @carbonbased000 said, “I love the pain line and I want to give it a kinky read so badly but we both know it’s about tennis”, and you know what. She’s right.

To summarize: there’s a lot to say, there’s a lot to feel, I love this song immensely and I hope you do too. I hope to explode more thoughts soon and uhhh maybe write another fairy tale. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK, EVERYONE!

#tryst theory #peterick institute #so much for stardust #fob8 #fob #peterick #i do not remember my own tags for organizing lyrical analysis so let me get back to you on tht #fob deep lore analysis #sending my love from the other side #fall out boy

[forabeatofadrum]

Hello and happy Sunday to you all. Thank you @confused-bi-queer, @cutestkilla, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe for the tags, and a tag back to @aroace-genderfluid-sheep.

My Klaine fic is still being written. Toffee the hamster has been found, but it's taking a while to finish it. An anon did give me a title idea, namely The Class Menagerie, and anon, I love you for it,

In other fic related news, I started posting Dancin' on that bamboo ceiling, the fic series that explores Asian identity and racism through Glee, while also trying to find a way to place glee's own racism towards its Asian characters. I was quite nervous to post it and a bit stressed. So stressed that I straight up confused Mike and Wes in one of my summaries and in the series' summary I accidentally wrote that Mike moved to China, not from China. Oops. It's been fixed. Five fics are posted and I am not at all surprised that the Klaine-centric one has the most hits, since people still prefer shippy fics over gen fics. I just hope these Klainers (hi!!) are encouraged to also read the others.

I am also nervous because I don't want to come off as if I am speaking for everyone yada yada. I did add the disclaimer that I am one sole person writing this and I am also alway open for more feedback, but it feels so nerve wracking. I usually write for me and me alone, but not this time, I guess. And even so, I am one Chinese person and damnit China is big. Catch me frantically googling whether people in Hubei speak Mandarin or something else etc. (Which I knew the answer to, cause my sister is from Hubei, but I'm just so nervous!!!) (This is also why I remember that Mike's family is from Hubei.)

Also some things in Glee are so fucking stupid. I am already thinking about changing something in Blaine's chapter so it lines up with canon, but I am still trying to explain why Tina's last name is Cohen-Chang.

Writing this fic is uhhhh A Lot, since I am delving deep into the racism that I have experienced and also the stories of other Asian people who I have spoken to about this. (JY, Todd, I haven't seen y'all in literal years, but you're in this fic.) (I do still talk to Cilla regularly.) (And a shout-out to my sister who constantly has to deal with people saying "she is too pretty to be Chinese"!). I am excited to explore this and I keep thinking about things I can add, but it is heavy, as you might expect. I do try to keep some humour and joy in it, because unlike Glee, I also want to show that being Asian can be fun and can lead to connection. I am looking forward to Mike, Tina, Wes, Blaine and Yu-Jin being friends! Here's a more upbeat part of the sad shit that I shared recently:

"Yes, yes, yes!" Yu-Jin cheers when Mike and Wes step inside the bedroom, both wearing a tangzhuang. "God, if only my grandparents could see me now," Wes says as he studies himself in the mirror. "Tina's making photo's," Blaine says. Tina's new phone has the best camera of them all and she'll send the photos to the others later. She definitely wants to save the mirror selfies that she made with Yu-Jin. Tina's hanbok has become to small and it's straining her in places, but she loves the way she looks and that's what matters.

And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @ionlydrinkhotwater @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen ​ @artsyunderstudy ​ @martsonmars ​ @facewithoutheart ​ @shrekgogurt @boyinjeans @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @blackberrysummerblog @whatevertheweather

#six sentence sunday #tagged in

[project-summerhome]

Happy birthday, Gravity Falls!/Summerhome HD 1.5 Re: Mix

Eleven years. How has this show been around for eleven years. How. I don’t understand. What’s happening to us. The sand in the hourglass is falling so much faster than it’s supposed to. I try to hold onto it but I can’t even break the glass. And yet, somehow, safe in its case, the sand still drowns me. The sands of time drown us all. It’s only a matter of how long you can hold your breath. Obviously, Gravity Falls means a whole lot to me, otherwise we wouldn’t be here. It’s been a part of my life for over a decade now, seven years since it ended, and the world and characters still have enough of a stranglehold on my heart and mind that here I am, doing this. Summerhome is my way of trying to celebrate Gravity Falls, so along with a sincere thank you to the crew who made the show what it was, I also wanna use this time to elaborate on my last post. This is going to be kind of a soft reboot of the series; along with updating the current episodes to be more reflective of my current skills as a writer and plans for the story, the format of each episode will be updated to more closely reflect actual television scripts. I’m gonna try and strike a good balance between authenticity and readability, and will absolutely be open to critiques about both the writing and the format. Also: we now officially have our own logo by @tangelojack, and a blog header by @o-lanterns! Their work on the series has been phenomenal and invaluable and if you don’t applaud for them I’m blowing this whole building up Probably the biggest change, though: I’m gonna be posting on Ao3 now! Episodes will still be posted as they have before, in the form of links to the Google Docs, but there will now be Ao3 mirrors for them as well. (Disclaimer: I do not support Ao3 or its practices. Their refusal to take any action on the rampant racism, pornography of minors both real and fictional, and myriad other problems on their platform is fucking abhorrent. If Ao3 was a person, I would wrap barbed wire around my own hands just so it would hurt more when I choked it to death. The decision to start posting there was reached after some suggestions from readers and consultations with friends for the sake of better accessibility and further exposure, but I don’t want there being any illusions about my feelings on the site. I accept any and all complaints about my selling out and will be ready with a sincere but ultimately worthless apology) That aside, though: thank you all again for bearing with me through everything. Again, can’t make any promises about the update schedule, but I really do appreciate your patience, and I have high hopes for this reboot-take two of the premiere should be ready to post not too long from now! Thank you all for allowing me to drag you down with me as I spiral further into madness over a children’s cartoon, and I hope you’re all having a great summer!! (Also happy birthday to Stan and Ford Pines you old fucks I hope you never die or get sad)

#gravity falls #summerhome #gravity falls: summerhome

[nekoannie-chan]

The image in my head

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.!Reader.

Word count: 1061 words.

Summary: Your relationship with Steve was going through a bad moment, can you fix it?

Warnings: Angst, but a happy ending, loss of memory.

A/N: This is my entry to @negans-lucille-tblr’s N-L-Threenager Blogiversary Writing Challenge with prompt #50:

"Did I really fucking love you? Or just the image in my head?"

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other's people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @smokeandnailz  @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme  @bluemusickid @leyannrae @harrysthiccthighss @marvelatthisone @hallecarey1 @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose  @nana1000night​ @talia-rumlow @writingshae​ @azulatodoryuga​  @alexxavicry​

The relationship between you and Steve was going through a rough time; maybe the situation was critical. Perhaps the best thing was that you separated. Steve has acted very strangely lately, and you even argued too much.

"Did I really fucking love you? Or just the image in my head?" Steve snapped angrily.

"What? Well, if you don't love me, you can leave," you replied.

"Y/N, no, it's not what I meant; I didn't mean that; it's just that..." Steve was interrupted by his cell phone; he had received a message: "They needed him in S.H.I.E.L.D. for a mission." I have to go to work; they need me, but we'll talk when I come back."

When I was going to kiss you goodbye, you turned around; you weren't sure if you could continue.

Finally, the team of recruits assigned to you managed to complete one of the training successfully, and you felt proud. However, the smile on your face disappeared when you saw Hill at the door; that could not mean anything other than some bad news.

"What's going on?" You asked her worriedly, but she didn't say a word. "Does the director need anything?"

"It's Rogers."

"What happened to Steve?" Even if he and you were angry, you still cared. "Hill!" You raised your voice in the face of her silence.

"It appears that there was an accident during the mission; he is still unconscious, but he appears to be fine."

You didn't quite hear what she told you when you ran out to the medical wing, where you knew he would be.

Two hours later Steve woke up, and at that time you were by his side, although you could not stop thinking about what had happened in recent weeks.

"Who are you?" Steve asked as soon as he saw you.

"I'm Y/N, your wife," you replied confusedly; however, Steve looked even more confused than you.

"Who am I?” Why am I here?"

You didn't understand what was happening, although after the doctors checked him, they informed you that he had lost his memory. Somehow you managed to convince him that you were his wife and you were going to take care of him.

Perhaps that was life's way of giving them another chance to fix all the problems they had in the past, another chance to start over and make amends for their mistakes.

Although the doubt that he would continue to love you appeared every time in your mind, you had no complaint when he was chivalrous with you; in fact, he acted the same as when he was courting you.

You feared that he would go to work and something bad would happen to him; you had no idea what would happen if he went out and got lost, especially since they didn't want to make an official announcement of Steve's true status. There were even a few people who knew. If someone at work asked you about him, you told them he was taking a few days off.

Steve spent his days looking at your photos and videos. He seemed to follow all the medical instructions, but you weren't entirely sure it was working. Several times you asked him things he was supposed to know, but you didn't get the expected answer.

Several times you tried to find out what had led them to the situation that occurred before the accident, but even if you could find any clue that would tell you anything,

However, you could not deny that you could get used to living like this; the afternoons and evenings were lovely, you spent time together, and at least now it seemed that Steve enjoyed your company.

You were rushing to prepare breakfast; you had forbidden Steve to cook after he almost set fire to the kitchen preparing a simple dish. While you were cooking, you told him what you would do and your plans for that afternoon. When you got back from work, you would go to the cinema to see the last movie that had been released.

"I'm sorry," Steve said suddenly, and you looked up from the bowl where you were mixing the pancakes.

"I beg your pardon?" You didn't understand why he apologized; maybe he had thrown the juice or forgotten to put the dirty clothes in the basket, although that didn't even bother you since the mission, and you felt that you couldn't bother with him.

"Sorry for everything I've put you through," Steve continued to say without taking his eyes off you.

"OK, Steve, it wasn't your fault that the mission went wrong," you said as you continued to cook the pancakes. Now you thought he was referring to everything that had happened since you were told his status after the mission.

"Y/N, I don't mean that; I know we argued before the mission; I apologize; I didn't want to tell you all those horrible things I said; I didn't want to hurt you. After all this that's happened, all I know is that I still love you," Steve confessed.

"Steve... "

"I'll understand if you don't want to stay with me."

"Wait, Steve, do you remember what happened on the morning of mission day?" You asked, staring at him; he nodded; you smiled. "Do you know what that means? You have recovered your memory."

What you had experienced in recent weeks had made you reflect on everything that had happened since you met Steve, and you continued to love him. He had been too busy with all the work to be able to have a long vacation with you; that's why he went on so many missions and barely spent time at home; there was never a real reason to worry or suspect something different, although, of course, you would have appreciated that there was more communication.

Steve stood up, approached you, hugged you, and kissed your hair. He remembered everything he had ever lived; his memory had returned. Then he cleared his throat.

"So, do you want to stay with me?"

"Only if you promise me that we will go on a whole month of vacation, just you and me, no missions, no training, nothing but fun, you and me."

"I promise you, you know, after breakfast we'll go with Fury, and soon we'll go on that vacation," Steve said, kissing you.

#nlthreenager #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x agent of shield!reader #Steve Rogers #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fic #steve fic

[tragicclownwrites]

A tragic clown's SBSP ship opinions

So I came across @shiba-deer's ship ranking post and I thought "fuck it. i'm gonna do one, too!" 😝 I tend to agree with most of their points with just a few differences including the addition of shitty Canva edits by me.

Disclaimer: As the title suggests, these are just my opinions. I know some folks may disagree and that's okay! I'm not trying to flame anyone or start any drama, so please keep it chill. We're all just clowns here. 🤡

Here's the scale I'm working with:

god tier - OMFG I LOVE them 💖🥰

top tier - I really like this ship 💜👍

mid tier - I'm neutral about this ship 😐

bottom tier - I really don't like this ship 👎😓

hell no tier - Get this shit off my dash immediately 🤢🚫

?? tier - I don't know enough about them to form an opinion 🤷

Anyways, here we go~

SQUIDBOB - god tier

Ah yes, SquidBob. The only "god tier" ranked ship on this list. Are we surprised? There are just so many great moments between these two and so much that could be said. Alas, I'll spare the long monologue and just say that their dynamic is absolute perfection. It's literally the basis of a great, slow-burn romance - you can't make this shit up. I love "opposites attract" for the exact reasons that I disliked some of the other pairings on this list. It's notable that while Spongebob is mostly cheerful and exuberant and Squidward is mostly grumpy and reserved, that isn't all they are; Squidward very much has a fun side just as Spongebob has a serious one. They keep things interesting and bring out the best in each other (whether Squiddy wants to admit that or not), in spite of their differences. And per this post, they actually do have a lot in common as well! I could wax poetic about why a fucking sponge and octopus are literal soulmates, but idk. I just think they're neat. 💖

PLABS - top tier

Now this was not a ship that was initially on my radar when I first joined the fandom. But I am happy to say that has definitely changed and it is now a favorite of mine! I love a good friends-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers ship, and Plabs is one of the best. I feel like they have such a "will they, won't they" thing going on that leaves me on the edge of my seat. I definitely want to look into them more. And who knows? Maybe I'll get around to writing a fic? 😉 As for canon, I could list various examples but there is just so much compelling evidence in favor of this for me not to ship.

KARENDY - top tier

This is a ship that I have grown to really enjoy. While I would like to see more of them together in the show, the few interactions we have gotten are great fodder for a budding romance. I like how they have so much in common (ex. intelligence, interest in inventing), but not to the point where they clash (which I likely will talk about later in the list) and it actually benefits them and adds to their connection. They just have so much potential! They inspire my creativity the more I look into them. I mean, c'mon. Sandy literally said Karen was "beautiful" and Karen's wiki says her relationship with Sandy is "a purely positive one."

SQUIDLIAM - top tier (as exes)

This list simply wouldn't be complete without this pairing. If you've read SquidBob fanfiction, Squilliam is the perfect villainous ex-boyfriend. 😈 It could be that I'm a sucker for villain redemptions (spoiler: i am) or perhaps @misslattesart has made me consider alternative possibilities for this character (probably both tbh), but I find myself increasingly intrigued by this dynamic - particularly Squilliam's motivation for constantly trying to outdo Squidward when he appears to have it all. While I'm part of the majority of fandom that headcanons them as exes, it's evident that they were definitely romantically involved at some point. But I do agree that they would inevitably find themselves in conflict eventually. After all, they broke up for a reason.

PLANKBOB - mid tier

Fun fact about this ship: PlankBob actually got me into the fandom (more on that here), so there's a level of fondness for me there. However, it is purely on a crack-ship basis and I've more or less stopped shipping it since joining in favor of other ships on this list. But idk man, it's just a funny dynamic.

PATWARD - mid tier

This is such a hilarious and chaotic match that literally no one would see coming. I think everyone probably knows about that one moment in Kamp Koral. I can't find the clip right now but, I mean, what the hell even was that?? Still, I'm only giving it a "mid tier" rank as, like PlankBob, it's more of a pairing that I'd ship ironically.

SQUIDVIA - mid tier

I mean, Squidward went on a practice date with Spongebob, who was significantly more interested in him than Squilvia was. She didn't get all that much screentime, despite her being the girl Squidward was presumably trying to impress. I'd argue that Squiddy wasn't all that into her either, but rather the idea of her because they are so similar and he thinks that's the kind of person he should be with. I don't really feel any sort of way about this ship, but their relationship probably wouldn't last. SquidBob FTW.

PUFFKRABS - bottom tier but would be mid tier if not for their bullshit (very confusing, I know)

Surprisingly, I do feel like this pairing has potential... if it weren't for a major Plankton-shaped obstacle holding them back. I've touched on this a bit in my fic, but apparently Mrs. Puff and Mr. Krabs have been/were secretly dating for 16 years. Now, 16 years is not a number to scoff at. However, the "secretly" part is giving me pause and sending up all the red flags. 🚩🚩Both of them are single/divorced/widowed/etc. They are not having an affair. So... why keep it a secret? As far as I'm aware, neither of them have any reason not to be open about it (assuming that I'm not off base about this whole secrecy aspect). Sure, not everyone needs to be in their business. But then it's implied that even Pearl doesn't know. I have no idea who made the call but if I was Mrs. Puff and everyone, including my boyfriend's daughter, was in the dark about our relationship and he made no moves to give me any sort of real commitment after over a decade... I'd start to wonder what the fuck was up.

PATBOB - bottom tier (sorry 😔)

I was really conflicted on this ranking because PatBob has all the makings of a great ship - they're best friends, they look cute together, and they have a lot in common. However, the reason I ranked this so low is mostly because their friendship is so much stronger than any sort of romantic connection. I feel like whenever these two are put into a remotely romantic scenario (ex. when Spongebob they raised a baby scallop), that's when the cracks start to show. As friends, they have a great dynamic and are so funny together, even when they get into arguments/spats. However, as romantic partners, it feels unnatural. As shown in the episode I mentioned as an example, Patrick gets to be his silly, lazy self whereas Spongebob has to take the more serious, rational role - which is not his natural inclination, even if he has that side. I just can't help but feel like this would become a pattern if they were actually in a relationship. I live for best friends-to-lovers... but this ship is not the one.

PLANKAREN - bottom tier

I was originally going to rank this "hell no tier" but it's not the worst thing I've ever seen - mostly just a prime example of compulsory heterosexuality (this was a great response on the topic). I still dislike the pairing quite a bit though. Like, are they even married? The two of them are so off-and-on, hot-and-cold together and there's just something so... forced about it. I just think they both would be so much happier if they weren't together, you know? I don't doubt that they support - and maybe even love - each other a bit, but to quote my own fic (not to plug lol): "you can love and care about someone without being in love with them."

SPANDY - hell no tier

I've never liked this ship, even prior to joining the fandom. Hell, even when I was a kid and didn't know what shipping was, I still felt there was something off. As I've gotten older and wiser though, I think it really comes down to Sandy and Spongebob having virtually zero romantic chemistry. Nada. Zilch. Despite SBSP being episodic in nature, their dynamic consistently gives me sibling vibes - which does not translate well into a romantic connection at all. They're just miles better as friends and I don't see that changing in the slightest.

(And this is just a personal nit-pick vs. a solid point but I find myself put off by the frequently OOC portrayal in fanworks - particularly for Sandy, who is actually one of my favorite characters. I know as writers and artists, we're going to take some creative liberties. But if you have to drastically alter a character's personality and/or physical traits to suit your ship narrative, it's probably not a good ship. 🤷)

SQUANDY - hell no tier

I do love seeing Squidward and Sandy getting along and being pals - I mean, look at this interaction (sorry, couldn't find a better gif)! However, any sort of romantic connotation gives me a serious case of the "ick" (SquidBob be damned, honestly). Hence the very low ranking. They are strangely more believable than Spandy, but that's probably the only redeeming thing about this as a ship tbh. Otherwise, it's a "hell no" from me.

(This sound effect is literally me when thinking about this lmao.)

MINDRICK - hell no tier

Not to be that person, but even if there was genuine chemistry... let's just say Mindy doesn't just look young. I even Googled it for you. You're welcome.

SQUARRY - ?? tier

Okay so I've heard lots of good things about this pairing and how they have some great, shippy interactions. However, it's not a ship I'm familiar enough with to form an opinion.

BUBBLERAY - ?? tier

Not really super familiar with these characters' dynamic in general, let alone the ship.

SLAPFERATU - ?? tier

I've seen this ship making the rounds as well, but definitely not familiar enough with them to make a judgment call. From what I've seen (including pulling this pic together), it is pretty hilarious. I will say that. 😆

#tragic clowning #for ships and giggles #😉😉 #squidbob #plabs #karendy #only tagging ships ranked top tier or higher #aside from squidliam as i like them more as exes #i probably missed some ships but i spent an embarrassing amount of time on this already lmao #my blog theme doesn't like the colors for some reason 😔

[rivusatrap]

ONCE BROKEN

by @skloomdumpster

Riven gets cursed by a magical jewel and he must act on his deepest desire in order to break it and live (aka rivusa fuck or die with feelings)

Musa/Riven | Explicit |   21380 words | 2 chapters

Favorite Quote: The entire fucking fic.... Like I my favorite quotes are spoilers and I can’t type them here because I want you guys to react to it in the context of the fic. So yeah, read the fic.

If you like hurt/comfort fics with a lot of feelings and internal struggles and pining, and also fuck or die and amazing smut, you should should read this fic!

READ IT HERE

So I have to start with a disclaimer, Jo, the writer of this fic, is my best friend in the whole world and was the one that got me into writing fics and into making gifs and the whole fandom world. So I might be a little biased with everything she does - even if I think I’m not.

I also followed the creation of this fic, reading it multiple times before it was finished and giving her my 2 cents about it (And making a gif for it). Jo hasn’t written a Rivusa centered fic in a while and I was trying to keep a chill head while internally screaming with excitement that she was writing one - If you aren’t aware, I’m I like Rivusa a bit. Just a little bit.

This was a birthday fic for @gossipqueen2000​, another amazing writer and fellow rivusa-stan (totally recommend her fics btw), and Jo first asked Mo what she enjoyed most in fics so this gift would be perfect. I’m not 100% what was in that list because that was a private conversation but boy am I happy with whatever Mo said because the final result was EXPECTACULAR.

This fic. THIS FIC. Ugh, where to even start?

Jo has a way of writing that not only sets the scene perfectly but takes you back and then into characters heads in a way that’s not tireing or confusing or that breaks you out of the plot. Everything happens in the perfect pace, fits right where it needs to fic and flows easily, you could read 100 pages of her writing and feel like you read only 10.

What I also love a lot about her writing, and something I think I struggle a lot with, is showing characters emotions, what they really feel in a way that isn’t “he was sad”, “he was angry”.

You could feel Riven’s love for Musa, not only the romantic love, or the physical lust he has for her, but the true, real love, because of little things like how he knows to keep her ID and her card in his wallet because she has a bad habit of not carrying one, or how he knows the lyrics to her favorite songs- which he also knows not to sing along because she hates when people do that. Details like this, details she adds at just the right place at the right time, show you so much more than what is said, shows the reader characters habits, their history. It gives their feelings depth and it makes it all just feel more real.

And the whump! Jo can write whump. The same way she writes love she writes pain and its so detailed and hurts it makes your heart squeeze. I don’t read a lot of the fics she puts out and I’ve apologized to her tons about it but because she loves hurt and whump and my heart is very fragile, I cry about the most littlest things and when I read a whump fic of hers it literally ruins my day because its all so real and raw and my mind just can’t stop thinking about it.

And the smut... oh boy oh boy... Jo says she’s not really a fan of writing smut but she’s amazing at it, with just a perfect dose of kink mixed it to make it spicy(er). And the smut in this didn’t dissapoint. After reading about, what 19k words of hurt/comfort you finally arrive at the smut and you yell FINALLY! and its HOT!

The plot, which maybe should have been the first thing I talked about but oh well. The plot is... what other word can I use that isn’t “perfect” or “amazing” because I think if Jo were to beta this post she’d say I used these words too much already... The plot is genius (?)

But seriously, Jo could have taken a trope like fuck or die, which is usually straight to the point and PWP, but made it just that, quick and easy. But no, she created a whole intricate universe, a whole detailed backstory, ten years of pining, before she delivered on the prompt. And then instead of making it so they resolve the issue right away, she draggs it over a few days, makes Riven taste the power of the curse, makes him prepared for death as much as he can be because he thinks there’s no way out of it. She makes you yell a the computer/phone screen because RIVEN YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID.

I think if I say anything else I’ll be spoiling the fic too much for those who haven’t read. So read it.

And while you’re there check out Jo’s other fics, only a few are rivusa because her main ship is skloom but I 100% recommend them. All of them.

#rivusatrapficrec #rivusa #rivusa fic rec #winxsource #musa #riven #musa x riven #skloomdumpster #fate the winx saga #ftws

[tea-cat-arts]

Ya, I think I left enough characters out that my "ranking every 'mostly white + usually a cool color + maybe gold'" post warrants a part 2 (if enough valks of this design genre get released to warrant a part 3 though, I'm just gonna cry). Usual disclaimer that while I'm trying to be objective as possible about this, art is a very subjective medium and I am not immune to bias. Anyways-

S tier (wouldn’t change a thing)-

still not entirely sure if she belongs on this list because the black and white elements are pretty well balanced, but eh- we're here now

Forget just this genre for a sec though- Aponia has one of my favorite designs in the game

It's the skirt, it's entirely the skirt

I'm glad they kept the outfit mostly black and white (other than the bits of jewelry used to keep the outfit cohesive) because I think too much color would've just distracted from the skirt

I also appreciate they made the white fabric different textures. It really helps to separate the veil from everything else

The usage of vines and flowers to break the symmetry of the design is a fun nod to Aponia's failed attempts to control the world around her

A rank (minor changes needed)

I just want that front white shirt piece thing have a "light blue to white" gradient on it to better separate it from her legs

Otherwise, this design is a friend

Nice use of texture, I really like how the sleeves look like fabric dipped in ink where the ink is just gradually creeping up

I also just think it's funny that she's the jade knight, but her color palette is mostly blue, where as Azure Empyrea's color palette is mostly green

The red accents are also nice

I think from a more objective standpoint, this design would be in B or C tier, but it's my list and I like the design, so it's going in A tier

I'm also not sure if there's really enough white to warrant her being here

The bikini top and mini tutu are goofy (I think I'd personally just make the top a turtleneck crop top with a book window cut out, and the tutu into shorts and a fanny pack), but I kinda like them

There's just a lot of nice color variation in this one

D tier (for disappointments)

Getting this disclaimer out of the way: I am aware of the racist elements of this design. I am not SWANA though, so I don't really feel it's my place to go in depth on it (I'd be happy to link or reblog other people's arguments though)

Congratulations to mihoyo for making me sick of the color purple. I literally didn't know that was possible

I know she had a purple Hoody that one Manga, but I really with they went with a blue/green, orange, and gold pallet instead

The dance motife feels kinda out of nowhere? Idk if she has a love of dance in one of the Mangas, but it was never really mentioned in game before now

Also having Rita (the British lady) be the one to teach her a Persian inspired dance was... a choice

I could see a redesign going a couple different ways

One being really committing to the whole "it looks like a regular outfit" think, focusing on the changing roles of valkyries and moving more towards the aesthetics of APHO

Maybe have her story take place in her home country, thus why she could be wearing more traditional clothes (and have a grandma or someone like that teach her the dance)

My other idea would be keep the story the same, but change her design to be more of a throw back to early valks, leaning more into the mech suit idea

I wish we got the bear hood

F rank (I have very few productive things to say because these invoke my inner Ragina George)

F, for "that was the ugliest f'ing skirt I've ever seen"

Ya, I know I'm breaking my "only out valks" rule, but fuck this design

There's so little tonal variation

Between the hair and shoulder puffs, this design just ends up looking incredibly top heavy

Mihoyo, keep her pants on

Just like Hares writing, this design is uninspired and directionless

I keep seeing people compare her to Shenhe and Eula and I'm gonna need yall to stop slandering my queens like that

Comments from the homies:

"Shorty look like an ice cube gum box"

"Why does she have nipple ribbons"

Froot loops abyss herald looking ass

Every day, I wonder if the trend towards monster design similarities in both games is an intentional way of hinting at further down the line multiverse plotlines (not explaining why it could be this here), or just a marketing decision

TLDR: these types of designs can work so long as they go bold on the colors

#honkai impact #honkai aponia #li sushang #honkai susannah #honkai pardofelis #honkai hare #I just needed to wind down after doing homework all day #And this seemed like a fun way to do it #Never thought I'd get sick of purple but mihoyo surprised me

[familyagrestefanblog]

Me endlessly rambling about the morality of Adriens plot involvement in “Evolution”, bc DAMN!

In "Evolution" there is one aspect I haven't seen anyone talk about yet which bothers me in how tragic and unspeakably unfair it is: Gabriel is not the only person who missed his chance of being able to safe his family that day, so did ADRIEN.

And that's the core stinger of this show not letting Adrien/Chat Noir actually BE the villains son (yet?). It's one thing that Gabriel, the villain, has fallen so far that he is now unable to make the right decision on his own, but the same wouldn't apply to Adrien. And I also wanna talk about how horrible it is that Adriens father basically turned into a collapsing mess further descending into madness right in front of his sons eyes for the entire episode but Adrien isnt given the chance to maybe make the choice to TRY to reach out and help him.

Disclaimer: My post is NOT about me thinking that Gabriel is owed to have his son at his side to help and save him. No, my concerns and feelings regarding the morality of Adriens involvement are 100% about ADRIEN. Gabriel I only care for in this regard of him “being denied his sons help” in the sense that he is Adriens father. Thats it. My priority, as per usual, is Adrien and what all of this means for him.

Because my goodness if s5 continues like this I seriously have to wonder how Adrien is supposed to be able to life with himself after all of this.

Look, I’m going to take the matter seriously if thats not something for you than this wont be the post for you. I am allowed to talk about the portayed morality of a parent-child relationship in an international very popular family cartoon. I’m pretty certain this is all deliberate set up since the writing made way too many specific decisions regarding these two and the big picture in this episode (and in that case I’m gonna LOVE this) but I still wanna talk about it in the way that reflects the fact that we dont have the rest of the season yet. And in this regard this episode got morally questionable at times.

If this IS something you care about too though, dont let me stop you any further and “read more”

My "problem" ( not really problem since with the right continuation I will love ALL of this, so its a “inbetween-problem” right now. You get it) is not that the writing says that Gabriel doesn't have enough true goodness in him to actually safe his family, or that the Agreste family in the end is beyond saving and not worth it and Adrien will end up happy with the Dupain-Chengs. All of that is not my problem. It's that Adrien is denied every opportunity like this in his plot involvement to be allowed to make the choice of saving his family himself. To at least TRY to have the saving grace influence on his family's fate that Adrien embodies.

"Evolution" is actually the first episode where this problem actively crosses the line for me (which I strongly believe was the intention), cause up til the end of season 4 Gabriel/Hawkmoth (or whatever) wasn't straight up a hurting mess on the battle field who, yes, would desperately need his son on the heros side as a familiar and sympathetic influence when no other hero can or maybe even should, who can reach some of his last remaining humanity and possibly make the small but immense difference in how Gabriels and the Agrestes story ends.

Do not get me wrong, I don't care for Gabriel just for his own sake, I primarily care about his fate because he's Adriens father. I am NOT saying Gabriel deserves a happy ending just because he has a sympathetic reason to have started his villainous doom (I know alot of people will disagree here but respect that I absolutely LOVE these kind of morally complex family stories, about the humanity in inhumanity and abuse, even if it doesn't end in a happy ending. Fuck it, ESPECIALLY if it doesn't end in a happy ending!) but I AM saying that this episode did a phenomenal job at characterizing and portraying Monarque through almost all the very core reason of his fall and the horrible consequences he has brought down on himself.

I 👏Love 👏All 👏Of👏THIS👏

And I don't NEED this (or WANT it) to have an happy ending. But what punched me in the face the entire episode through were moments like this:

Or this:

Or this:

Because in the end of the day you can turn and twist it all you want. Condemn Gabriel, understand Ladybug and the other heros, Paris and the general morality of good and bad all you want; in the end it doesn't change the fact that this is Adriens father and Adriens fate and losses too. And that fact alone deserves proper respect.

Cause again, NOT for Gabriels sake but for ADRIENS.

Adriens father is laying motionless on the ground because Gabriel has fallen so far in his grief, madness and almost completely isolation that he is wrecking himself and frying his own brain with too many miraculous at the same time. And Adrien is narratively denied the opportunity to react like the SON he is in this.

Adriens villain father just gave up and therefore lost the opportunity to make everything right again, safe their family on his own accords but then immediately showed immense regret for the decision he made. And Adrien is narratively denied the opportunity to make the choice to reach out to his fathers very open humanity here and perhaps get to solve the problem in his stead.

Chat Noir was literally entrusted by Ladybug in this episode to wield the Rabbit miraculous. Chat Noir and the Monarque were in the same position. Adrien had just as much the power and the opportunity to go back in time and deliver the stick to his parents in the past (even if Gabriel had told him a different reason for why, fixing the peacock wouldn't have stopped Adrien from existing) as his father did.

But whereas Gabriel lost that chance because of his own actions and decisions, Adrien has lost that chance and even the choice to MAYBE save his own mother, his father, HIMSELF, his family, every victim and all of Paris because he is being kept out of the loop.

Adrien lost just as much as Gabriel in this episode if not even MORE, he just doesn't know it and that is the biggest tragedy of this entire show.

Because the thing is, Adrien loves his family. Adrien loves his father. Even if Gabriel has never and will never deserve his sons love or Adrien himself at his side. It doesn't matter, because this is about ADRIEN.

And ADRIEN has done everything he could in the last 4 seasons to reach his father, see the good in him, and forgive and support him. Reach out, see his fathers perspective and be as good of a son as possible to not make the situation even harder for his father as loosing Emilie already was for them. To grow closer as father and son, become a family again and get the chance of a better future.

Adrien LOVES his father and never wanted to loose him. And Adrien has made countless sacrifices too many to give their family a chance to heal through patience and understanding. Adrien is a PHENOMENAL son and the true saving grace of his family. But he never had the needed knowledge to understand the actual PROBLEM that kept Gabriel from moving on and getting better. To possibly help his fathers good side reach the light again.

No, as the kid this is absolutely not Adriens job, but in a family who goes through such extreme circumstances that shit legitimately gets ugly in too many ways as it happens in real life too, this moral ideal of leaving the child out of it becomes a luxury that sometimes just isn't realistic or affordable even for the kids own sake and can also be morally put into question depending on the context.

And in this context I'm absolutely putting it in question:

There is a difference between what happened here in the episode without Adrien knowing it and Adrien actively making the decision to NOT use the Rabbit power to right his fathers wrong and give their family another chance.

There is a difference between Adrien actively making the choice to distance himself from his villain father even as Chat Noir and leaving him to his self-made demise because that's what Adrien choose to do and sees as morally right in his unique position of having one foot on each side of the war, and Adrien not even getting that choice in the first place.

There is a difference between Adrien choosing to stay on Ladybugs side and stand so actively against his father as her partner when shit goes down so fatally for Monarque like this, and Adrien not knowing what siding with her means in the bigger picture.

There is a difference between Adrien making the choice to not save his mother before giving up the Rabbit miraculous, because unlike Gabriel Adrien actually managed to move on from that loss and does what Gabriel can't, and Adrien not even knowing that he had the power to resolve all of this and save his mother, his father, the miraculous and Paris in a way that wouldn't have hurt anyone (to our knowledge right now)

The difference is that in one case Adrien gets to actively make the choice that is right for HIMSELF, so he can properly adjust his role so he can actually LIFE with himself in the end, whereas in the second case he makes the choices while thinking himself to not be connected to Monarque at all and therefore acts only to the benefit of the general greater good and Ladybug.

And it's the SECOND case that rings true in Canon. Adriens actual position in this still remains completely neglected and he is going to stay without any kind of necessary closure and own moral adjustments to his role and actions in his family's demise. And this leaves Adrien in the position where he will/would simply life to regret his actions or at least beat himself up for it. And those are regrets and grief that no one can rationalize away for him, this kind of guilt stays for a life time. Because how THE FUCK could it not??

Cause for all it is, he is the only person for who the overall truth of the good and evil side of this war is not enough to justify or excuse his actions and behavior. Not in his own eyes. Because Gabriel wasn't just Hawkmoth, ShadowMoth, Monarque or whoever. He wasn't just the evil bad guy, he was his father too. And while Gabriel probably has always been difficult, he sure as hell wasn't THIS (Monarque) for Adriens entire life as we know from Adrien himself:

So everyone else has the luxury to, in the end, make peace with the situation through breaking the grey area down to basic black-and-white thinking, because they have the necessary distance to Gabriel and his motivations to do so.

But you can't just apply the same way of thinking and moral standpoint to Adrien/Chat Noir, he simply ISN'T in the same position as everyone else.

In my opinion it always was Miraculous biggest loss that Chat Noir/Adrien is not allowed to actually BE the villains son with all the amazing character and plot potential that comes with it. But "Evolution" was the first episode where this unused connection actually made me grimance while watching.

Adrien deserves the chance to at least TRY to help his father when its already happening right in front of his eyes!

All of this had a chance of being resolved in peace through Adriens best and defining character traits: his compassion, love and loyalty even in the darkness hours. You have to do a FUCK TON to loose him and there are simply too many moments in this episode where I think Adrien would have tried to help his father to do the right thing for me to not talk about this.

And again, I'm not asking for this to actually have happened this way and have a nice sunshine ending. I'm not saying that Gabriel would have absolutely had listened to Adrien and that things would have turned out fine if only Adrien and Gabriel had found out each others identities somewhere in the borrows. No, I'm not giving Gabriel that much credit, neither as a person nor as a father. We have watched the show til now and what happened when Gabriel found out under different circumstances:

No, I'm never bringing this up for GABRIELS sake, in all of this I care with all of my heart for ADRIEN. And what HE goes through in everything going down on both sides, what HE looses and what this means for HIM because he is the one in the almost agenciless and inescapable position. He is the biggest victim in all of Miraculous and season 5 right immediately started off with an event where Adrien is even more wronged regarding his fathers villain backstory comeuppance than Gabriel himself.

Adrien is the actual tragedy in this very episode and entire show and I can only hope that the show will treat his loss with the respect it deserves. "Evolution" actually gave me alot of hope in this regard because of how it treated Gabriel, the Ladynoir moments, Chat as a hero character in general and of course:

Alix family moments paralleling the Agrestes with another father-hero child bond whose family is being seperated (also interesting to remember is that back in s1 people suspected Alix' father to be Hawkmoth as a second option to Gabriel)

These things are intentional, but I'm still anxious, because DUDE

Adrien being left out of the loop in everything is reaching beyond BRUTAL extends. The Ladynoir and father-son sides of his life have now collided in the most painful way with undoable consequences yet (and on both parts he is still kept basically entirely oblivious to the secrets and offenses being done to him). The morality in all of this is beyond questionable at this point, and simply in particular regarding his damn father. This is fucked up.

I really have to ask how Adrien could ever be able to forgive himself for his family's fate, his mother and especially FATHER'S fate, once he looks back on it concidering how actively INVOLVED he was in all of it. Without getting a choice, proper agency or much needed closure while going through this. Adrien isn't doing nothing here, "Evolution" in particular, the episode of Gabriels villain backstory commupance.

You know what? Screw it, this is theoretically speaking just as much of a damnation backstory set up as the one Gabriel has, just so much worse. His fucking father would be the core reason of why Adrien could never forgive himself for what happened to his family while he himself (unknowingly) took huge active actions in making his father go this far (again, THIS episode for example) when in Adriens eyes his father was in desperate need of help through his grief no matter how inexcusable his actions became. Because Gabriel needed and NEEDS help (and not the one Nathalie gave him, you know the person Adrien gave his father his blessing for to MARRY) and COULD have turned back to the light at some earlier point. And Adrien saw that potential the entire time. And tried to help and reach out over and over again. But he was never able to do it "right".

He would think himself a failure of a son when he only finds out about this when it's way too late and he has to let his father behind who is too far gone. Or a failure of a hero all together for not having noticed and stopped it earlier and to his family and the citizens, when he was in the position to all along. How is he supposed to just let that go when Adriens noose has always and forever been his loyalty and LOVE?

This shit is so messed up on a morality level for Adriens position because Adriens situation just gets worse and worse and he is hardly given any chances to chose to adjust his behavior/actions in a way to his actual circumstances or get any true closure with full context to be able to properly DEAL with this. Because he doesn't know what his actions are causing/ influencing! It wouldn't even be Gabriels abuse or bad influence that would be the core of his tragedy, it's the fact Adrien was denied to get closure of not being able to properly help his father and family. That everything went so catastrophically far and hurt so many people and loved ones and he could have helped "but didn't".

How is Adrien supposed to life with himself after loosing his father like this while he was Chat Noir? In a way that is actually in-character for him and his core principles? Adrien, who is taking the blame for his loved ones in too dangerous degrees just so they have to suffer less? If Adrien knew he would react differently, in ways he wouldn't life to regret or at least hold against himself for how it went down. Fuck, let's go with the scenario: If Adriens love would stop him from being able to let this go he would actually become and have the motivation that Gabriel THINKS he is and has!

Have this go wrong and Adrien will step into his fathers footsteps no matter what any third party (including Ladybug) will say that it wasn't his fault. He will just not be evil while doing it, but just as desperate, lost and haunted by the past. Maybe even more so than his father because Adrien is actually a good person.

Seriously, I know Miraculous has pulled some morally questionable stuff by now (hello season 4), but this episode really made me shallow hard in how far Adrien being left out of the loop is being taken and what the consequences of his actions symbolize. Adrien literally left his father back in the past and he didn't even know it.

I know for most people this is hardly a factor they think is important to concider, but for me it is. The episode put Adrien in too specific of a position, take too consistently brutal actions regarding his fathers backstory comeuppance here, and made him be the one to take the lead and therefore alot would fall back to in Adriens mind if he found out in this one particular episode now.

The writing of the episode made deliberate morally beyond questionable choices regarding Adriens position between Ladybug and his father that just... gut punched me.

Because fucking Christ, Adrien is still being kept in almost complete obliviousness and it made him do things and act in ways I cannot imagine him doing like this if he knew, in way too crucial of a situation regarding his entire civilian familys fate.

And therefore: Fuck, he. Should. KNOW. But he doesn't. And I don't know how Adrien is realistically suppose to life with this. This goes against everything Adriens characters has ever been.

Really, we are entering some seriously messed up moralities now for Adriens position between Ladybug and his father...

#ml spoilers #miraculous #miraculous ladubug #ml season 5 #keeping up with the agrestes #adrien agreste #Gabriel Agreste #Emilie Agreste #ml Evolution #ml 5x01 #ml analysis #Family Agreste fate #Gabriel Agrestes villain backstory comeuppance #somehow managed to wrong HIS SON even more than himself in this episode