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evilwrongdoer · 1 year

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bella ramsey x f!reader, they invite the reader onto the tlou set and introduce them to pedro

word count: 1,6k

I kinda went my own way with this one, hope you like it!

You were nearly buzzing with excitement.

The car was dark, the sun had yet to rise and the tinted windows just made it seem more like nighttime.

You understood though, riding in a car with a soon-to-be celebrity had its pros and cons.

Bella was staring out their window, fiddling with their rings as you stared in their direction, trying not to be too obvious.

She had invited you onto the set of a new upcoming series that she was playing in, "The last of us", a higly anticipated video game adaptation that was likely to give Bella a fair amount of fame.

You wondered if he was nervous. If the idea of gaining so many fans overnight scared them, or maybe excited them, like their mere presence did to you.

The two of you had known each other for a little over a year now, meeting at a small cast party one of your friends invited you to.

You had gotten lost, or rather, your friend had left you. You sipped reluctantly on your long island ice tea, which you regretted buying since your friend had disappeared and "drunk in a room full of strangers" wasn't exactly your idea of a fun night.

You sat at a high table in the corner of the club, fiddling with your straw and wishing you had just stayed home, when suddenly, a beautiful person sat next to you, and all of a sudden you were happy your friend had left you.

The two of you chatted for the rest of the party, and in talking to them you felt as if the whole world disappeared around you. He was absolutely mesmerising and he looked at you in a way no one ever had before. Despite your intense feelings towards them, you were too intoxicated to truly know if they felt the same, and too scared to do anything about it if they did, so the two of you became friends. No, more than that, best friends, and even though you wanted more than that, you decided a little Bella was better than no Bella.

After that, you were inseparable, hanging out at every chance you had, causing quite a few of Bella's friends to ship you.

A few weeks ago, Bella invited you to the set of the last of us. You were quite happy but never really thought it would happen as you didn't want to get in the way of him while he was at work.

Now, here you were, freezing your ass off somewhere on the outskirts of Alberta, Canada.

They were set to film parts of episode three today, and you really hoped you'd get to see Bella act in some scenes.

You watched as they set up cameras, lights, and most importantly, the snack table.

You and Bella hadn't really talked that morning, apart from the odd weather comment and loose small talk. You figured it was because of the cold, or the fact that she wasn't really a morning person, but some part of you knew that wasn't really true.

The two of you got to talking more as they got into costume, and you even got to meet one of his co-stars.

"Okay, would you rather live as a whale for a year or.... live as a horse for 6 months?" You questioned, looking at Bella with wide eyes as a make-up artist painted blood and dirt onto her face.

You sat backwards in a crappy plastic foldout chair, now in a trailer as Bella got ready for filming.

"As a horse, duh, it's half the time," He replied, looking straight forward into the mirror as to not disturb the artist's work.

"Yeah but like, horses are like super weak, if you break your leg or something they'll shoot you straight in the head," You gestured as the make-up artist looked at you confused.

"Ah! Don't say that, we're literally supposed to be on horses in a few weeks!" They grimaced, fearing for the horses.

"I never took you for a horse lover," you shrugged, folding your arms under your neck and watching as Bella's make-up came to life on her face, "Same though, I have thalassophobia,"

You stared directly at Bella now, knowing that you could say you were "looking at the make-up" or "just thinking about stuff" if they asked you about it later.

You watched as she messed with her cuticles or bit her cheek, and again took to wondering what was going through her head.

After she finished getting ready, the two of you walked quietly onto set, where you just so happened to stumble upon one of Bella's co-stars.

Pedro Pascal.

You wanted to scream. To just drop dead right then and there. But that would be all too embarrassing. You had been a fan of him since you saw your first movie, and you even had a crush on him when you were younger.

He wasn't as intimidating as you thought he'd be, although that's probably because he looks 6'3 but he's really 5'11.

Bella smiled warmly at him, differently from how she smiled at you. You wondered whether that was a good thing or not.

"Pedro! This is my... friend that i told you about!" Bella spoke, happiness filling their voice, and you threw a kind smile on your face, pretending as if you didn't hear them pause.

"Hi! y/n, right? I've heard so much about you!" Pedro gleamed, leaning in for a hug.

You hugged him tightly, something about him making you feel safe and at home. You finally understood why he played so many father figure roles.

You briefly introduced yourself to him and chatted a bit before letting the both of them leave to filming.

It took quite a few hours, with Bella getting a total of three breaks in which the two of you barely spoke, tension completely filling any room you were in together.

You planned to confront him about his cold behavior, at first feeling angry, and then later sad. You once again pondered the nature of the way they had been acting. Did she all of a sudden lose interest in you? Maybe they weren't feeling well? No, that couldn't be it, if they were feeling well enough to act, she was feeling well enough to not ignore you. Maybe something was up with him?

You let your thoughts drive you as you stared in one spot for what felt like eternity.

In the background of your thoughts you could faintly hear someone talking, something you chose to ignore, thinking it was just some far-away conversation.

"Hello? y/n? I asked you if you were ready to leave?" Someone spoke, trying to break you out of your haze.

A sharp snap in front of your face made you remember where you were again, and you now looked around as the staff was cleaning up things that you could've swore they'd just set up.

"Huh?" You looked up at Bella, blinking to make sure it was really them.

"There you are, what happened? I kept asking you if you were ready to leave and you just continued staring at the ground," Bella stared at you, their eyebrows furrowed in an emotion you couldn't place.

"Uh, yeah, sorry about that. Let's go." You quickly muttered, grabbing your bag and throwing away the now-stale cookie that you'd been holding for over 20 minutes.

"Well, lead the way?" You looked at Bella, waiting for her to start walking.

They stared at you and shook their head, then immediately began walking.

The two of you walked silently to the car, as you desperately tried to build up the courage to talk to her.

As you got in the car, you began,

"Hey, so, how come you've been so quiet today?" You asked Bella, putting on your seatbelt carefully.

"Oh I was just,-" They cleared their throat as if looking for an excuse "Tired, y'know?" She was looking into your eyes now, albeit reluctantly.

You tried to think of something to retort, although their excuse, true or not, seemed believable enough for you to let it go.

"Yeah, okay." You looked down, giving up on your now long gone plan of confrontation.

It's not like you knew what you were confronting them for anyway.

She was just being weird, and she'd been weirder before, it's not exactly like this was a first.

You were so deep into your thoughts that you almost forgot how close together you and Bella were sitting. So lost in your head you barely noticed your eyes slowly fluttering shut, or your head leaning onto Bella's shoulder as you slowly fell asleep.

Bella was blushing hard, the darkness in the car doing absolutely nothing to hide the fact that he was absolutely smitten by you.

Your breathing was soft and even as you unknowingly snuggled closer to Bella in your sleep.

They were frozen, sitting straight up like a statue with their eyes blown wide and their face red. She thanked god that the car ride home was fairly long, wishing you could stay like this forever. This was why he was being so weird, the more he spent time with you the more difficult it proved to talk to you without blushing or stuttering or just straight up freezing when you spoke.

You meant everything to her and they weren't about to let some stupid crush get in the way of your friendship.

Slowly, Bella got more and more comfortable until it came to the point where they no longer could keep their eyes open. She carefully lay her head on yours and fell asleep as well, the two of you now clinging to each other like velcro, not bothering to care about the driver, or the fact that you were in a car, or the fact that "Best friends" weren't usually that clingy.

Ok, this took way too long to write and I think you can CLEARLY tell how touch starved I am, but anyway, enjoy!

#tlou #bella ramsey #bella ramsey x reader #writing #fanfic requests #fanfiction #fanfic #pedro pascal #fluff #part 2?

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thebestofoneshots · 7 months

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WOLFSTAR X READER SERIES

Gilded Constellations | THE INTERLUDE

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Summary: You meet Sirius and Regulus at a family vacation in the Caribbean, but things don't go as planned and you end up losing contact once the trip is over. Years later your family moves to England and you get accepted at Hogwarts where you finally meet Sirius once again, along with all of his friends. One of them with a mysterious secret, that you'll uncover as you embark on your own Hogwarts adventure. This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

Hey Lovelies, welcome to “The Interlude” of Gilded Constellations. We’ve basically already gotten to 100 k words in this story and that’s absolutely insane!!! Which is why I thought of doing a little thing where I could interact with my readers. As a thank you for being there and supporting me so much through this journey.

And so… this little Q&A was born. Those who didn't get to ask their questions, don’t worry my darlings, my ask will be open all week for you to ask whatever you want. It’s a mini event that will last from today ‘till next wednesday.

But yes, it does mean this week we won’t get a new chapter D:

Don’t worry, it will definitely be worth it since the next couple of episodes are two that I’ve put absolute extra care on crafting, and I will put just as much care on revising. I’ve been quite literally posting non stop for 15 weeks consecutively. That’s almost 4 months, what?!?!

I needed my tiny lil break, besides I wanted to dedicate this bit of time to work on my Maraudween Special smutty series that will include some interesting mini AUs, so those that read my other stuff and not just Gilded Constellations will be quite literally treated this Halloween. There will be a lot of posts these next few weeks. Although, I might be releasing some of the Maraudween stories at the beginning of November. Unfortunately, I’m not a machine and I can’t write in seconds like Chat GPT.

Without further ado, let’s get on with those questions!

Where did you get the inspo for the fic?

Oh my god if I tell you guys about this… It all started when I was in class, sometimes when I’m bored, my little mind starts to wander. I’m a total daydreamer, I can’t deny that, but at that moment in particular I was quite literally thinking of nothing and everything at the same time. And then, out of nowhere, this phrase came to me:

“You look at them the same way you looked at me when we met…”

And I was like, “omg that’s so freaking angsty” and “That’s a great freaking line for a poly story” And I quite literally wrote it down with a little tag that said, “-the start of a poly relationship story because I’ve never read enough of those.”

And then I closed the notebook and went back to class. But I guess the idea had already set in my brain because next thing I know, I’m writing down more things down. And let me tell you, before Gilded Constellations I only wrote Oneshots because a story seemed like too much commitment. So I kid you not, I wrote down:

“Not a short story, but maybe a 3-5 chapter long fic”.

Jokes on me though, we’re 15 chapters in, like 20-something written and we’re probably going to end up with longer than 200k words and I’m not even sorry about it. Besides, I'm really pumped to finish it because I want to get it printed in Lulu and have my own little copy as a “Damn you wrote that.” kind of evidence thing. So worry not about being left with an unfinished fic, I’m going to complete this story even if it’s the last thing I do.

Besides, if I’m being honest, when I’m not writing, I miss my boys, so I’ll definitely miss passing the time with them when I’m done with GC. (Luckily I’ve already got another series planned and spoiler alert: This one will be Poly!Marauders x reader, a lot spicier aaaand, PIRATES.)

That’s how the fic started, well that and a dream that was basically most of Chapter 3 and I thought it was so cute that I wrote it down and then I was like, “hold up, this could be the start of the Poly story I was talking about…”

Are there any real-life experiences that influenced your writing?

Well I mean, I’d say that art imitates life and life imitates art, but in regards to real-life romance I don’t really know that much. But there are definitely some things here and there that have been sprinkled from my real life into the fic. Not sure if I could think of a particular one but I can say sometimes Remus gives me the same vibe that a boy I “used to” have a crush on. “Used to” in quotation marks because I kinda still do even if we haven’t seen each other in years.

So I guess a lot of Remus comes from my crush, but also Remus is his own little boy as well and I love him more for it. Even If I’m torturing him so much with his heartache, I promise it will be worth it Remus, reader and Sirius will take care of you, eventually.

Other than that, I guess I like to pay attention to things around me, you’ll see me looking at nature, the sky, the way leaves move, the way people interact with each other. Especially at that actually, I like to pay attention to people, how they move, how they interact, and their reactions. Sometimes I do it irl, and sometimes I just watch movies or series, and since my writing process is like seeing a movie in my head and then putting it into words, it’s always useful to pay attention to the world around me. Even if I sometimes struggle to put into words exactly what I’m seeing in my head.

Did you already have everything planned, or did you just go with the flow? If you have already, how far? all of it? Or just some chapters ahead?

Well, yes and no. I do have various key points of the story planned, a lot of plot points that are going to happen and that’s kinda what I’m sustaining myself on. I know the big points and then I just have to write what happens in between them. And I’ve got it planned all the way ‘till my babes all start dating. After that, if I’m honest I’m not sure how I’m going to end it. Some parts of me want to go for the saddest ending possible because it would go along with cannon and the other side of me, the one that can’t bear to see my boys being sad, wants to just deviate completely and/or leave an open ending.

But so far, I really cannot tell what exactly I’m going to do, I just know that time will tell. Because sometimes the characters just do what they want and I love to see where they take me. Which is why the ending is not set in stone just yet.

Without giving too many spoilers, can you tease upcoming plot twists or surprises we can expect in future chapters?

My sly little foxes have already guessed some of the major plot twists that are upcoming in the story. And there definitely will come some surprises along the way, some you will love, some you won’t so much. But I promise you it will all be worth it!

Remember in Gilded Constellations, everything happens for a reason.

THE FANCAST

What's your fancast for the fic? Did you pick the reader too or just leave it be? // I wanted to know if you have a fancast for everyone…

I did mention that I basically see stuff as a movie in my head right? So yes, I do have a fancast! Although I most definitely see James as Aaron, Sirius as Ben, Remus as Andrew and Peter as Dane, I have also twisted them in my brain. Like it’s them, right? But my version of them. Like my Sirius is so fucking ethereal in my head that sometimes I myself blush with his beauty. And Remus, well, he is probably most similar to Talita Asami’s from instagram. Especially this one.

There’s something about the way she contrasts his soft features with the scars that’s just perfect. It’s that sexy pirate vibe I cannot get out of my head, if that makes sense. But also I’ve been toying with AI lately (Talkie) and ended up with these two versions of Remus and Sirius and they have absolutely taken over.

Sidenote: I made way to many of these, so do tell me if you wanna see them.

The reader: Uhm… well, I kind of just see her as me, hehe. Which is kind of the point, you should all just see the reader as yourselves, if you’re comfortable with that of course.

The rest of our babies though? Lily Evans, Marlene and Mary, are kind of like the boys as in I see them as their fancast but also not entirely. And Lily especially, she’s just so freaking pretty in my head, there’s no one I know to match her, all thought Sophie Skelton and Kennedy Walsh (@/c4tluvr666 on Tiktok) are super close.

Now, outside of canon characters, aka all of these OC’s I’ve been creating with time, some of them do have a fancast and some of them don’t. Let’s focus on the ones that do, because some of them I literally had in my head since the very, very beginning of the fic.

Tom Harrow- This boy actually started as a younger version of Tom Hiddleston in my head, but the more I wrote him, the more he said, “Luv, that’s not what I look like!” And, almost out of nowhere, baby Tom Hiddleston became Rober Sheehan, and let me tell you, it stuck. And it stuck so bad there is no way I could see Tom as anything other than Rob. Especially with his role as Klaus in Umbrella Academy having a rather similar personality in the entire open-minded spectrum that he’s got going on. And, talking about teasers, this boy is actually going to be a key point on the romance between our golden throuple to develop, so keep an eye out for him. I love him so much tbh.

Then we’ve got Beth Doxon, this girl is my wifey, I freaking love Beth so much and if you’ve been paying attention you may already know who I based her off, at least in looks. It’s Anya Taylor Joy as Beth Harmon in Queen’s Gambit, redhead queen (can you tell I really, really like redheads?) . Also that’s why she has such a strong character, even if my Beth is a lot more of a Party Animal than the original character.

Alexander Wood in my head is just a carbon copy of his son Oliver, but in Hufflepuff, and the rest of the Quidditch teams, I’ve got a good idea of what they look like in my head, but not really a fan cast for them. Suggestions accepted.

Well, except for Minho Yun, since his role in the story is going to be as a pretty strong supporting character, in fact, he was meant to be somewhat of an alt love interest that was going to help build Sirius’ jealousy, but in the end, I decided to completely scrap that to further develop him as a character. Some interesting things that you’ll actually learn on the GC Halloween special. Oh, and Minho is actually based on Sang Heon Lee (on looks) and Ki Hong Lee (on character, specifically on his role in Maze Runner). Had I based Minho on the character of Sang Heon Lee who inspired him, we would have way too many slutty boys in the same room, with Tom and Sirius and him, It’d be chaos, which is why he ended up being a little shier.

Nox, Neil and Todd, literally are just Nox, Neil and Tod from De*d Poets Society. I was rewatching the movie to nail that boy friend group interactions and to get in the Dark Academia Vibes and I wanted to give my boys a happy ending.

Also Neil just gives me the most massive Prongs vibe I cannot.

And lastly, there’s Nina Blythe. Nina to me is a totally angelic girl, I’ve got a very vivid picture of what she looks like in my head but I don’t really have a fancast for her. Maybe a little bit like Aurora (the singer), in regards to her soft features, but Nina has longer hair and it’s a little wavy. I kind of think of her as a girl from a Renaissance painting, emphasis on girl, since she is supposed to look younger than she is. Any ideas for a fancast? For her and for anyone I missed, I’m completely open to your suggestions.

THE TEACHERS

Professor Nightshade is definitely Eva Green from Miss Peregrine or Jessica Chastain from Crimson Peak. She’s got that tall, regal and dark but elegant vibe to her that is just so freaking gorgeous and awe-inspiring. I totally have a crush on Seraphina, can you tell?

Professor Aurelius Spellman is kind of inspired by Kingsley Shackelbolt. However, if I had to cast someone for the role it would be Djimon Hounsou, he has that attractive and rough vibe to him. Like scary, demanding but also alluring things going on, he’s just got the magician type I suppose.

This one’s going to be silly, but I can’t imagine Kettleburn as anyone other than Gobber the Belch from HTTYD, like, take away the horned helmet and give him a pointy hat, and boom, Kettleburn ladies and gentlemen. Down to the messy personality, honestly.

And Donovan Pendragon (the teacher for Magical Theory) I feel like he isn’t mentioned enough, because I literally had no idea what his name was even going to be and I just left a line for it until I was editing the chapter before posting. So he doesn’t really have a cast. He’s caucasian in my head, but that’s about all I’ve got from him. Any ideas?

Do you have any headcanons for any of the characters and their relationship that you haven’t talked about in the story?

REMUS: Well I feel like this one has been talked about several times in the story but Remus being a beast in bed? I feel like everyone loves to tease him about it in the castle but to me, he’s also a total soft boy? Like especially the first time, I feel like he’s going to be so overwhelmed by both Sirius and Reader that he will basically just melt in the hands of his lovers.

SIRIUS: Smitten little puppy of my life.

SIRIUS AND REMUS: They’ve totally kissed in the past. At least once, and Remus still dreams about it. Sirius, well… maybe he’ll get some memories of it every now and then.

READER: My girl thinks she’s so freaking smart and yet is the most oblivious to her own feelings; she could be considered an idiot. She’s also so selfless it hurts, but like literally. Also, she loves flirting with Sirius way too much. Still, they definitely will need Rem in their relationship because there is no self-preservation sense when her personality is just as chaotic as our Puppy. Side note: Remus will 100% blush when she starts flirting with him in the same way he does with Sirius. And let’s not talk about what a tomato he will be when Sirius does it as well.

PETER: He kinda disliked the reader at first, especially since he felt like she was taking away his friends, but eventually he warmed up to her, and loves their friendship.

LILY: She enjoyed the kiss with Reader, and it made her realize she’s totally bi, because she also enjoyed the kiss with James.

TOM: My boy is clever as hell and he knows a lot more than he lets on. Also, he secretly ships the golden throuple.

BETH: She’s Tom’s bestie and she knows a lot of things too. She will also ignite chaos with the ultimate goal of being Gryffindor Tower’s own cupid. Do you think what happened at Marlene’s Party was a coincidence?

REGG: My beautiful Reggie is still sad about the incident. He’s still trying to find a way to reconnect with you and it pains him that you think he’d rat you out. Even then, he values the fact that you are with Sirius and that you’re helping him through everything that’s been going on, especially since he saw how red Sirius’s eyes were when he left the Black’s house with a trunk in hand sobs stuck in his throat. Reg cried like a baby that night, just wishing for time to go by as fast as possible so he could go back to school and see his big brother again. (I’m so sorry for that guys).

MINHO: Has a secret crush and you would not believe me if I told you who it was.

NINA: Has a secret crush and some of you have probably already guessed who it is.

DAMOCLES: You don’t know him yet but omg he’s just so clever, thank you Kles for existing.

And let's be honest, I totally have a bunch more of this but I think this is way more than enough, for now…

Out of all the chapters so far, what’s been your favorite?

This is too fucking hard to decide. But If I had to choose my top three, and in no order in particular, I’d say, for the released ones:

Fooled around and Fell in Love

Because, can we talk about the kiss scene? I feel like this one will come back bite my kiddos in the back so they finally realize what they actually fucking need.

Do Ya

I’m a total sucker for Sirius, what can I tell ya? But also the flying scenes were so much fun to write, totally an adventure to go through, still among my favs.

Maybe I’m amazed

“Do you like Golf?”

From the unreleased episodes:

Tonight’s What It Means To Be Young

The calm before the storm. Or is it the storm before the storm?

Bad Moon Rising

The FUCKING storm. But also one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. I think I like action scenes a little too much.

*** On The Run

The storm continues. But also, the calm after the storm.

Do you have a playlist that you always listen to when you're writing?

Not a specific playlist, but I have been listening to a lot of ‘70s rock. Things like Queen, Bowie, Boston, Foreigner, Kansas, Fleetwood Mac, Nazareth, The Police and some others. All of them help me get in the mood for writing. At least in the mood of the era, if that makes sense.

Aside from the ’70s classics, I’ve also been listening to a lot of Lord Huron, Hozier, and Aurora (I sort of discovered her recently and I’m obsessed with some of her songs). Also some of The Killers, Dotan and Vian Izak sprinkled here and there. Bastille and Imagine Dragons are always and forever so of course they wouldn’t be missing from my list.

But when I’m struggling, like really struggling with writing, then I go to this Best Instrumental playlist, where they have everything from the Narnia and Peter Pan 2003 soundtracks to Vivaldi and Ghibli. It really does help with the concentration.

How long for the guys to understand that they fancy each other?

Well, when you say the guys do you mean Sirius and Remus? ‘Cause then it’s not thaaaaaat far away from now. Now from then to them all dating, well…

I know Remus kind of struggles with feelings, and probably even more now that Sirius and the reader are together. But when he's gonna say "hey, can I come in?" 😏 lol I just want them together so baaaad!

Ahahahahahaha, Well that’s not exactly how it’s gonna go, but it’ll happen sometime after Christmas.

After wolfstar and the reader get together, the fic will end? or we're gonna have a lot of them together to compensate for the agony? 🥺

I’m not sure about the ending yet, but I’m definitely going to add so much fluff of the three of them together that you’re all gonna get cavities. Also, I’ve been writing The 5 Senses and the Halloween special (that might be finished until after Halloween) to practice for the spice, so I’m def compensating for the agony.

Also, I kind of want to explore the social implications of being in a throuple, of making that public in the `70s. Seems like a whole lotta issue bringer that kinda interests me… Sorry, you’re not completely getting rid of the angst even when they’re all together.

I don’t remember if I already asked you about this, but as a Regulus’ wife, I need to know. He'll come back, right? She will talk with him and he will be able to explain everything to her? I need this, I really need this! I can leave without this closing. THEY NEED TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN!

Your husband is safe with me. I promise. I’m not gonna say it’s gonna be very soon, but he will be safe because I love baby Reggie and I too can’t stand him being mistreated either.

Not a question. I just want to say that I really love this story. It's one of my favorites, and I just put it on my masterlist for how much I love it.

Aww shut up, I love you so much <3

Will we have some Sirius jealousy? ‘Cause I'm really interested in that. Oooh... will he notice that Reader and Remus are... more than friends before they even know it? I dunno, he's just oblivious about everything around him.

Funny that you ask, yes we will have a lot of Jealous!Sirius, in fact, it’s a huge part of how the throuple will develop. And you will have it so soon, even if it’s not exactly what you expect it to be. I can’t wait for next week!

And in regards to noticing, well… Sirius is not going to be the most oblivious about his own feelings in this story. I mean… not always.

Are there any particular scenes or moments in your story that were especially fun or challenging to write?

Well, I’m actually finding it a lot harder to write stuff atm, so I’d say the limbo between the Bad Moon Rising Arch and the next big thing that’s going to happen has been the hardest. Especially since I’m already going to get to a key point in which some shit is going to go down and I’m still not sure how bad and angsty I want to make it. Don’t worry, our golden throuple will be alright but…

In regards to fun, I must say the parties are some of my favorites, Potion Pong was incredibly fun to write ‘cause I literally transported myself to it and it was like actually living it, even if it was in my head. Also the flying scenes, they’re always fun to write, the race was incredible tbh.

I love to write the fun banter and the teasing too, it brings me joy. But I bet you could tell I’m one for the teasing from the very first chapters of Gilded Constellations.

Nina fancies Reader, right? She does. I just need a yes. I already know that 😌

( ≖‿ ≖ )

Can you share any behind-the-scenes trivia or Easter eggs that readers might not have noticed in your story?

I feel like there’s a lot of behind-scenes I shared so far but I guess I could share a few pics of my organization systems. Things like…

Your schedule:

The cover:

Some of you have already been theorizing about it too, you can look at some of those theories over here, and here, and also here.

Alt Covers I designed but weren't chosen:

Something you might not know:

GC is also available on Wattpad and AO3. The AO3 chapters usually drop like 30 minutes or an hour before Tumblr because it's easier to post there. And the Wattpad releases are actually way behind in comparison (there isn't much engagement over there).

Some Shots of my Plot notebook (0 spoilers):

And also, have you noticed the special little thing in the names of the chapters? 10 housepoints to whoever notices

I just thought of this, but what if we make a little housepont system and from things that you guys guess of the story you get housepoints and then we have a houseprice in the end? OMG I'd love to do this, if you're on tell me your house in the comments. So far Sytherin would have like 40 points just beacuse of dear @cometsghost and I'm not sure what is @blacksgarden house but they would also have like 40 pts.

How do you stay motivated and inspired to keep writing, especially in moments when you might experience writer's block?

It may or may not be healthy, but I just force myself to type? I never really have writer’s block, rather I’d call it writer’s overload. It’s when I’m running through so many possibilities in my head and I can’t pick which is the one I want to go through with. So I keep thinking about it and I don’t type. Which is why I just force myself to type, more often than not I’ll end up writing something I really like.

And as for the motivation, honestly just getting to see my boys again. To be able to submerge back into Hogwarts, that’s enough motivation. I seriously get an urge to go back because I miss them. It's kinda crazy. Like I might be chilling at home and suddenly the thought “I wish I was at Hogwarts” crosses my mind, not even joking.

The other motivation is finishing my book so I can get a printed version to place in my bookshelf and show it off. Not that anyone would know what it is, but I’d know, which is enough, hehe. And also to be a better writer, they say you should write every single day, which is kind of what I’m attempting to do with GC. By writing a chapter every week, I literally force myself to write every single day, even if just a couple of words.

Can we have cute moments with Remus? uuuh, Will he be cute when she notices that she really likes him?

Yes! We can have all the cute moments with Remus. Even before they all notice they’re into each other, we’re gonna have so many cute moments because even if Reader is dating Sirius I can’t leave my beautiful boy on the sidelines. Besides, how can I torture him if he doesn’t get a taste of how good it would be to be with them?

What can readers look forward to in the next chapters, and do you have any long-term plans or goals for GCs development?

Angst. Don’t hate me for this. But also comfort, and some fun little adventures and then a bit more angst, hehe…

Well, that’s the end of the questions I got sent ahead. Hope you enjoyed this rollercoaster of a Q&A. If you have any more, or if my answers have provoked further questions, then by all means, share them with me, I’d love to be able to interact with you a bit more.

Love ya, Lily xx

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

TAGLIST: @rayrlupin @callmelovergirl @warcelia @ireneop @endversewinchester @moonyunebi @smuttysluttybitch @mazzymoons @drugs-for-memes @sofiacblair @vmpir3lvr @remuslupinisbae @rabluver @willgrahamisalesbi4n @thatobsessedreader @orkwardx0 @itskailey24 @hell0-kittie @belovedmoony @blacksgarden @loving-and-dreaming @cassie-love20 @starchaser-lily @zucchini-queenie @springflwer07 @sseleniaa @cometsghost @orkwardx0 @imdoingbetternow @sbrewer21 @remuslupinsbae @maxinehufflepuffprincess @wifiatthetrainstation @unstablereader

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Raead more Marauders Fiction

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saezurumurmurs · 23 days

Text

A BL Platform For Everyone

NB: Please reblog this for visibility!

A little over two years ago, me and my BL crew were in our little chat sharing recommendations.

Cat had an impressive spread sheet, Marcie and I had iCloud Notes, and it was pretty much chaos.

I looked at it and said out loud, "There has to be a better way for us to keep track of our reads and share recommendations. There has to be right?"

Cat said she wished someone would build a BL app with everything already there. Me, a developer of almost thirty years, paused while a floodlight (not a light bulb) went off in my head.

“Well I could maybe build one… cause like, I build stuff. How would that be?”

By the end of the conversation Cat had invited me to build an app for BL.

Four weeks later, in late February of 2022, digitaljuicy.com was online.

In the last couple of years, I’ve been listening to the fandom, paying attention to feedback, poured over analytics, read your responses to the Reader’s Survey and continued to craft a platform with all this in mind.

What I have been building is 100% for us... there is nothing but BL and it is an attempt to encompass ALL of BL. Not just the bits and pieces.

But for two years I've been struggling. Struggling in many ways, but specifically to get what I wanted out of the platform. I tried and failed so many times.

In September of 2022 I tried to raise venture capital to build the platform I wanted for us. I pitched it to accelerators and true blue venture capital.

Juicy is what is called 'pre-seed'. Which means were still so new and evolving, under-resourced and while there was interest, there was no joy. No funding was raised.

In December 2023, I realised it was time to rethink Juicy. i have been on the deepest dive for months rebuilding Juicy from the ground up and preparing the framework for the mobile app.

I’ve built something I want to use… and wild, I’m building it and using it as a fan at the same time. I'm at the point where it's impossible not to want to share.

And what kind of platform do I mean? At its most basic level:

You can track your reads, watches and plays

You can review and recommend the titles to the community, your friends, strangers on Twitter, your friend you're trying to corrupt outside the fandom. Your poison.

Timelines for you, for titles, for episodes, chapters… just about everything. I mean everything: The creators, the publishers, the studios, the actors... you can leave reviews and status posts on EVERYTHING. No algorithms, no force feeding... just discovery, recommendations and honest reviews by this community about our community and the industry we feed.

Collections! Lists of stuff you're reading, dropped, want to read, want to buy, love or hate, all pretty and organised and shareable..

A growing database resource of titles, tagged up to its eyeballs with a minutiae of data.. with reading an streaming links and anything else we find that we think is relevant.

But it is also a lot more than this.

I wanted it to be more than what it was. I want to turn Juicy into a mobile app, add some more functionality and more specifically, platform all of BL for its non-Asian fandom.

We get left out of so much, I feel like we need our own thing.

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I was tired of being banned on social media for sharing content. How you gonna ban me for saying a 2D fictional character needs to be shot with shite and strung with cobweb? But they did… and I know it’s not just me.

What about the creators? How do they interface with the non-Japanese or non-Korean fandoms? On which misogynistic hell site?

What about the publishers and merchandisers? What about the little Etsy sellers? Why does BL have to hidden away in the databases of mangaupdates, anisearch and anilist? Why does every single manga tracker out there seem to have pitiful listings for BL?

Is it because we’re a female or queer audience?

Look at this lil video I made:

youtube

Either way, I’ve long felt it’s time for us to do our own thing. So I’ve been building it. Pixel by pixel. Feature by feature on my own.

Juicy has been a small chat group, but I’m the only developer. We’ve always been clear about what we wanted to build: A platform for the fandom, the creators, the publishers, the merchandisers… my goal is a one-stop platform for BL and I am damn close to presenting this new iteration.

This was and remains the core of what I’m building: The largest English platform for BL on the planet. The functionality is one thing, but building a database like that is not a one-person job.

So now I need your help.

First to keep the servers online, so I can continue to build and develop and finally, finally release the mobile app. I can't tell you how much I want that.

I’m close to pushing the new Juicy 3.0 out, and I’m very in love with the work I’ve done since December. It’s a new look, and it works 1000 times better than the previous iterations of Juicy.

I just have hit a wall financially, and need your help and support to get it over the line.

Juicy's ass is fat and I been carrying her mostly alone for two solid years.

I’m going to launch a Kickstarter for this project in a bit so I can hire another developer to help with the trickier bits and fine tune the mobile app, but for now, I felt a Patreon would at least help us keep the servers up and maybe, just maybe allow us to afford a few crucial bits that will elevate your experience as a user.

And because I’m a developer, and I can do some pretty kinky shit with APIs and such, if you support this Patreon campaign, you will get some nice feature perks on the platform automagically. You won’t have to pay again to access these perks in-app later.

As many perks as I can cook up anyway, not the least of which will be access to some of the nicer functions and features I’ve already built into the platform.

When the mobile app launches, you will get it first and for free! Plus we’ve been talking about a lot of other ways we can make the platform fun beyond what I've done already.

I plan to monetise the platform in various ways, but in a profit sharing model. You contribute to the database, you contribute content, you get a share of whatever the platform makes. This is already built into the system. This will be open to anyone willing, but to Patrons first.

Finally, I'm limiting the number of people who can subscribe via Patreon to 1000 people. Once we hit that number, the rolls will be closed to new membership, and everyone directed to the platform to pay for any services or merchandise.

My goal for this group of Patrons is that you become an exclusive and tightly knit inner circle.

My hope is that you will help me actively shape what Juicy will become. Your votes and say will carry weight. Your feature requests considered and if possible implemented first.

You will get access to exclusive merchandise, exclusive giveaways and promos (like free stuff), and exclusive programming from the team.

With your help we will produce an exclusive podcast for Patrons only discussing all things BL and Juicy (honestly our conversations are generally wild and hilarious... it will be a rollick for sure), along with other content for Patrons only. We've even planned watch parties and other fun shit... I swear, we want you all to be our greatest ambassadors so we are planning as many treats as we can.

Your access on the platform will be specific to your Patreon subscription and your treatment will be VIP for the life of your subscription.

Finally, the way my auADHD are set up, I have no interest in the dramas of the BL fandom, so this is never going to be about gatekeeping access to anything. It’s about making more access possible. You can help bring us all together and make us stronger as a group.

So do you think Digital Juicy sounds like something you’d like in on?

Okute Sea

Saezuru Murmurs

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lifewithdavefarts · 10 months

Text

DaveFarts - Episode 24 “Windy Mountain”[Episode List]

Another summer, another camping trip for our heroes… and an even smaller tent than last time. On the mountain, the sounds of nature finally meet their match as Dave’s farts reach new heights in terms of loudness and power.

POV: Tim

Windy Mountain “Rise and shine, bro!”

I was woken up by a sudden thunder, a thunder which was accompanied by a peculiar scent. Considering how I could see a clear blue sky outside (somebody opened the window in my room), as my eyes adjusted to the light I recognised Dave’s ass in a pair of white basketball shorts hovering over me, effortlessly erupting a powerful morning blast directly on my face.

I probably woke up halfway through the rip, which was already around 10 seconds long. A short morning fart, for my friend’s high standards. The stench hit me and triggered my flight or fight response, effectively waking me up more efficiently than any alarm clock could. I pushed my friend’s ass away (as he kept farting), trying to remember what year it was.

“Alright, alright. I’m awake!”

Dave turned around and greeted me with a smile.

“Come on, we’re right on schedule.” he stated.

“Should I thank you or your ass?”

Dave simply looked up, making a funny facial expression, and ripped a quick loud one.

“Yes.” he simply replied, and left the room.

Those were natural, not even on command, but honestly who could tell the difference? Dave always had a fart ready, like you could ask him out of the blue to rip one and he’d probably be more than happy to go beyond your wildest expectations. One of his many talents: the incredible farts are like the cherry on top of this wonderful friend I’m lucky to have, a cherry that pleases my embarrassing and disgusting kink, a kink that, for some reason, my bud is completely okay with, getting some good immature laughs every time he teases me.

Like last year, the four of us (the other two being Greg and Adam) decided to get in touch with nature and go camping for a couple of days, like the hypocrite city slickers that we are. However, we’re pretty good at planning stuff like this, making sure it won’t interfere with our respective jobs and whatnot.

As Dave told me earlier, we were indeed right on schedule: it wasn’t even 6:00 AM and he was ready, a role-reversal compared to the last time we went camping, as I’m usually the one who hates being late. A quick shower, some casual clothes and I too was ready, just a shirt and pair of black shorts, whereas Dave was sporing a grey t-shirt and his signature, “summer style” camo cargo shorts which, given the context, immediately triggered my kinky ass as I just remembered how my friend mercilessly blasted me in our tent last year while wearing those.

I hated… that I fuckin’ loved it.

While farting wasn’t by far our main topic of discussion (believe it or not), I like to think that Dave too remembers… because he’s just a nice mixture of “the best bro you could ever ask for” and “your worst bully”. Or, much more realistically, he just doesn’t remember because while he does find the act of teasing me utterly hilarious, it’s not like our lives revolve around his farts.

Unlike last year we were actually much more independent as our other two buds travelled to our destination on their own, a relatively colder place where we could avoid this summer’s high temperatures, somewhere on a mountain not far from here. We’re hiking to some interesting sights, the most important being a big, lesser known waterfall located at higher altitudes and deeper into the forest.

We packed our stuff and as the Sun was setting we got into the car, Dave being the designated driver. My (much more important) role was choosing the music for the trip and sometimes checking the map. A true duo of rally drivers.

During the trip, me and my bro chatted about some random stuff and about one hour flew by. No traffic, no road works or anything, just a long but peaceful trip.

“Oh by the way.” Dave suddenly said, changing the subject. “When Dana and I went camping last year…”

He seemed embarrassed but couldn’t help but laugh. Knowing him, that was the kind of laughter he’d do whenever he did something stupid.

“Yes?” I asked, being annoyingly inquisitive on purpose.

“We broke your tent.” he simply said.

“Oh.” I replied, not caring that much.

Yes, after our trip last year, I let Dave and Dana bring my tent on their own trip. I totally forgot about it and it was a very cheap product anyway. Plus, I saw Dave putting a folded up tent into the trunk earlier this morning, so it’s not like we were gonna sleep with the bugs tonight.

“It was an accident, I’m sorry.” he said.

“You’re the worst person I ever met.” I replied, the sarcasm being almost tangible.

“I totally forgot about it.”

“Me too actually.” I admitted. “How did you break it? I deserve to know.” I asked, acting like I wanted to know how my grandpa died.

“Crazy sex obviously.” my friend said, with a smirk.

I stared back at him until he told me truth.

“Ok… I accidentally hit it while going in reverse.”

“How did it even happen?!” I yelled, amused. “Why was the car there in the first place?!”

“Girls, you know… she didn’t want to walk back to the car.”

I stared back at him again.

“We had beers in the trunk.”

“Unbelievable. Truly made for each other.”

We both had a good laugh at their laziness, and I made sure Dave knew it was fine: he bought a new tent after all, so we’re good.

“The new tent is a bit smaller though… not that you mind, right?” he said, and winked at me.

“Oh yeah, show me the infamous crazy sex you’ve been talking about.” I played along.

“Well that, obviously.” he joked. “But I was thinking more of… you know…”

He leaned a bit while driving and, as much as he could, pointed his camo-clad ass towards me; the fart was, well, one of his average ones, long, loud and proud, the sound partially muffled by the seat and car’s own noises, but I could still hear it clearly. A firm, strong, 7 seconds display of cocky manliness from my bro, something I pretend to be used to but for a number of reasons keeps surprising me somehow.

The smell hit me but the cars’ windows being open made it bearable.

Before I could stutter something, he sat back normally and resumed talking.

“Just like last year, you know.” he laughed.

He actually remembers it. The fact that he does gives me a mix of feelings. I remained silent, trying to focus on the road ahead, which he noticed.

“Aw come on, don’t act like you hate it, you hypocrite.” he playfully said, patting my shoulder. “You know you can relax when I’m around, right?” he then asked, a bit more seriously, keeping his right hand on my shoulder.

It took me a bit to answer that simple question, Dave being so open-minded he almost leaves me speechless.

“Yeah I know man. Thanks.”

“Good.” he said, again patting my shoulder.

This man’s patience is infinite.

And just like that, we resumed talking about the usual stuff, as if my kink never existed. I feel like Dave accepted my fetish more than I ever did with myself.

——

A few hours later we reached our destination, at around 10:00 AM, the mountains towering over us being so high we could see the peaks covered in glaciers. However, the town where we left the car was not at high altitudes, so while the weather wasn’t as hot as back home, you could still tell it was summer, a particularly hot one nonetheless, as some of the locals told us. From the small town we then begun our hiking towards a place called “Windy Mountain”, making sure our phones still got signal so we could keep our other two buds posted on our location.

As we got higher and higher, the temperatures got a bit lower, but still pleasing, despite our heavy backpacks.

“Call me hypocrite.” I said.

“I already did a few hours ago I believe.” Dave quickly replied.

“I’m just saying… I don’t blame you for parking the car next to the tent, when you were with Dana.”

“Ahah what, feeling tired already?” he mockingly said, tired.

“I could do this all day bro.” I boasted, lying.

“Well no worries, Greg and Adam set the camp right next to that river.”

Dave pointed to a location not really far from us, a bit more downhill than where we were, and I could indeed spot two people in the distance, which I assumed were our buds waiting for us. The view as a whole was also really nice, with the mountain overlooking the entire scene.

“You think they can hear us?” I asked.

“Only way to find out.”

My friend shouted our buds’ names, his voice echoing in the entire valley, but the two people didn’t seem to have any reaction. It was my turn to shout, but once again, nothing.

“Yeah it’s them.” Dave said. “I’d recognize Greg’ piss-yellow shirt anywhere.” he pointed out, as I too noticed that small yellow spot by the river.

“It’s weird they couldn’t hear us.”

“Let’s see if they can hear this then.”

Dave simply stood where it was, which was surprising considering the sheer amount of gas he started ejecting from his ass. The fart almost fake-sounding, but it was loud and powerful, my friend effortlessly showing off his skills, easily surpassing any natural sound around us. The fart truly echoed everywhere, and as the 9 seconds blast finished, I could still hear it propagating all over the valley. An impressive, almost terrifying display of what my friend is capable of.

Funnily enough, the guy in the piss shirt did seem to turn around; he then waved at us.

“Nice.” I said. “You probably scared the shit out of every animal in the valley, but nice.”

“It’s called ‘asserting dominance’, Timothy.” Dave said, acting all serious. “The valley now knows who’s in charge.”

“Wow I feel so safe now.” I said, letting my sarcasm do the talking… while trying to ignore my boner.

——

The moment we arrived, Greg and Adam fetched us beers and something to eat, just some snacks, as it was too early to set up a barbecue anyway. We started setting up our camp like we did last time: our two tents being on the opposite sides, facing each other, with a fire pit in the middle, not too close, not too far away.

“Isn’t that tent a bit too small for you two?” Greg noted, while rummaging through the snacks.

“We don’t need a bigger tent to compensate you know.” I replied, very maturely.

“Also, me and Tim like to snuggle in those cold summer nights.” Dave added, hugging me from behind. “Right, honey?”

I shook him off. “Oh yeah…” I played along. “Whisper me something soft and sweet, my stallion!”

What my ear received however was anything but a gentle whisper. Dave was really enjoying the beer and he decided to let me (and everyone) know by belching directly into my skull, the scent of yeast and water hitting my nostrils. My bro wants to make sure he can destroy me from both ends, if you know what I mean.

“Serves you right.” Greg snickered.

Like a Terminator, Dave changed his target and let me go, power-walking towards our snickering friend. Before Greg could beg for mercy, he grabbed his head and burped straight onto his face, earning mature laughters from me and Adam.

“The good news is that you’re probably scaring bears off.” Adam commented.

“He’s ‘asserting dominance’” I explained, making finger quotes.

“He’s the true alpha.” Adam added, sarcastically.

“He’s making me puke.” Greg managed to say, just as Dave’s belch ended.

Once this very mature display of manliness was over, my bro joined us in setting up the camp, with his classic smirk drawn on his face, pretty proud of making Greg almost lose it.

——

After setting up the camp we ate something, nothing too complicated, just some sandwiches and fresh water, because in the afternoon we planned to go hiking; the destination was this beautiful waterfall located deeper into the woods and at a higher altitude, a true sight to behold. Due to this however, the climate there was colder, and the temperatures started to lower even in the valley (where our camp was) due to the Sun hiding behind one of the tall mountains looming over us.

In our tent I was setting some things up before the hike, like the GPS on my phone, and pulling some things out of my backpack to avoid bringing something needlessly heavy with me. My back was facing the tent’s entrance but I could feel someone coming inside.

“Everything’s alright?” Dave asked.

For all the immature, sometimes gross pranks he plays on us (…you know what I mean), Dave was actually the smartest around here, and the one we trusted the most when it came to organizing trips like these. Just because he acts silly, it doesn’t man he’s stupid.

“Yeah man. All set.” I said. “If we die, they’re gonna find our corpses in no time.” I joked.

“That’s the spirit!” my friend cheered.

As the Dave got into the tent, I realized how smaller than the last one was indeed. The fact that my bro was taller and generally “bigger” than me, body-wise, didn’t help. There was room to breathe, lay down and all that stuff, but a bigger tent would have definitely been better.

My bro got on all fours to look for some of his own stuff and, due to the small size of the tent, accidentally brushed his camo-clad ass all over me more than once. This stuff can happen to everyone, so I just ignored it, though it was hard not to think of what that same ass is capable of, considering the person who belongs to.

“Looking for something?” I asked, turning to him, though my head was basically talking to his ass.

“Yeah, my rain jacket.” he said, while rummaging through his own backpack.

“Oh right, the waterfall.” I remembered. I too had a rain jacket after all.

“Nevermind, found it.” he told me, giving me an OK I sign.

I kept checking my stuff, his camo-clad ass still literally next to me. I noticed Dave’s hand now patting his own butt, like we all do when we can’t find our phones in our back-pockets.

“What are you looking for now?” I asked, without even turning to his ass, even though my boner really wanted me to take a closer look.

Dave didn’t answer, though I felt his hand pat my shoulder, then my hair.

“Your head, actually.” he said, trying not to laugh.

He quickly pulled me and planted my entire face into his ass, holding it still. As my nose touched the warm fabric of his cargo pants, I felt his buttcheeks relax and, surprise to no one, a fart came out, a loud blast that made my teeth shake for how strong and loud it was. The gas went down my nostrils and eyes, making me choke, but Dave’s firm grip on my head was merciless. As my bro kept his position on all four, he raised one of his legs a bit, easing the blast out, actually making him get even louder. He finally let me head go as he did this, but my kinky-self didn’t move at all, enjoying the blast until it was over.

And indeed it was over, at around 11 seconds, a fart fueled by beer and snacks. I heard my friend laugh as he gently pushed me away using his own ass. The turned around, with his usual smirk.

“It’s just too easy with you.” he said.

I didn’t say anything, turning my attention to my backpack again. Despite Dave’s best (worst?) efforts, I was always embarrassed by this. My bro probably noticed this and stopped the teasing, getting ready himself for the hike.

As I mentioned, the temperatures were getting lower, so Dave changed clothes accordingly: he was now wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, a long-sleeved t-shirt and the aforementioned rain jacket.

“Piss yellow? How the tables have turned.” I mocked him, commenting the color of the jacket.

“It’s ochre, you swine.” he said.

——

We were hiking in single file, with me being the last, in the woods, the temperatures getting lower; the mood was great however, and we occasionally improvised songs from a certain epic fantasy as we felt like we were marching towards a dark volcano or a dragon-infested mountain. The landscapes certainly helped the illusion of an epic tale: it was just a damn beautiful place; despite the Sun being still obscured by the mountains, we could still it was a picture perfect day, weather-wise: we couldn’t have chosen a better day to go camping and hiking.

My gay and kinky ass kept distracting me from truly appreciating the beauty of nature, as Dave was the one walking in front of me. Regardless of my fetish, Dave was a great-looking guy, so I couldn’t help but to stare at him for a few seconds whenever I could. My eyes would obviously land on his jeans-clad ass more than once, which were a bit loose but also wrapped nicely around his powerful butt as he walked. Disgustingly enough, I wished he could fart on me while wearing those, but I won’t deny I’d love to ask, but I will never do it, I’d feel like I’m crossing some boundaries I’m not supposed to cross, because at the end of the day Dave is straight.

I can at least enjoy the view… and considering that the human body is, well, not artificial, you can technically say I’m still enjoying the scenery nature had to offer.

——

The hype paid off: the waterfall, the main reason we came up here in the first place, was absolutely incredible. We were speechless, so stunned we didn’t even think to take a picture of it the moment we got there. We kept walking, following a route that would get us right in front of it, millions of small droplets of water already dampening our faces and clothes. This never-ending wall of water going down the mountain was a beast, and a loud one truth to be told: we had to yell because we couldn’t hear anything unless we stood really close to each other.

“I’m speechless.” I yelled everyone.

“What?!” everyone replied.

“I said that I’m speechless!”

“Then why are you talking?!” Greg screamed back.

We didn’t have anything else to say as we stood in front of that wonderful display of nature, letting the water do all the talk. Finally we decided to become a boomer’s worst nightmare and pulled our phones out, taking pictures, posting stories and selfies. I saw Dave making a short video-call with Dana, even though the two could barely hear each other (but knowing them, that was the entire joke) while the other three of us settled for posting our pics on social medias.

It was still daytime (around 5:00 PM) but after about 20 minutes admiring the scenery, we decided it was time to hike back to the camp.

Also, we were starving.

“You two want to make out or what?” Adam yelled, noticing me and Dave staying behind.

I explained (screaming like a demon) that Dave needed to send a couple more pics to Dana, but the phone’s signal was unstable, so I was waiting for him to not leave him alone there.

Adam gestured a “whatever” and he and Greg disappeared in the woods around the waterfall.

After a couple more minutes, which I spent sitting down admiring that cathedral of nature, Dave put his phone in the backpack and sat next to me, at first in silence.

“I gotta take Dana to this place.” he thought out loud.

We kept sitting there, the loudness of the water rushing down the only thing we could hear despite ourselves. I decided to ruin the moment by reaching for something in my backpack.

“Beer?” I said, handing a can of beer to my bro.

“Always.” he replied.

We had a quick toast and enjoyed the view a bit more.

“Man that’s loud.” I commented, the waterfall’s noise starting to piercing my ear-drums.

Dave slowly turned to me, sporting an exaggerated smirk.

“Challenge accepted.”

I guess it was his turn to ruin the moment.

He quickly stood up, now towering next to me, and I could once again admire that beautiful denim ass. He wasn’t gonna fart in my face, not there at least, but for some reason he just wanted to do it. It wasn’t because of me, I’m pretty sure: the guy just enjoys showing off.

I didn’t stand up, and just stared at Dave… waiting, until he turned his head down to me with a cheesy smirk.

“You can’t hear it?” he yelled.

I instinctively stared at his ass and focuses. I could barely hear it: it was one of his well-known farts, loud and proud, but he still couldn’t beat the waterfall.

Trying to hide my massive boner, I simply gestured my ear, as to say that I couldn’t hear it. My friend just laughed and I could see his eyes narrowing, as if he was forcing more gas out.

And truth to be told, I could hear the fart getting louder, still not as loud as the waterfall obviously, but damn that must have been incredible to hear in all of its glory.

Dave kept standing still, relaxing his ass muscles and pushing what was probably one of his longest and loudest farts out. I could notice the droplets coming from the waterfall being blown farther away once they got close to his denim ass, a sign of powerful that blast was.

Now I could hear it properly, which my friend noticed, as he once again stared down at me sporting a wide, silly smile, immaturely proud of his fart. Really putting the “ass” in the whole “asserting dominance”-thing he had going one since we got here.

I thought I was ruining the moment with that beer, but Dave is better at everything I guess.

The hardest thing (besides my penis) was fighting the urge to simply plant my face into that ass, so I could properly enjoy that massive display of farting-talent; I couldn’t complain however, since Dave is basically a terribly wonderful enabler for my fart kink.

Now I couldn’t hear the waterfall anymore, only the fart; that fact that I was right next to the source of the blast certainly helped, but that was impressive either way. Dave was visibly exhausted: that was too much even for him (and, probably, me), so he sat down next to me again, sighing in relief, and the fart ended. How long did that last anyway? Not only it was loud, it was extremely lengthy. If I had to guess, that was probably around 60 seconds!

I tried to focus again on the waterfall, while Dave proposed another toast.

“To us.” he said, sounding as corny as you think.

“Really?” I replied, skeptical.

Dave simply laughed in response.

“You’re a disgusting weirdo, Tim.” he said, smiling, but those words didn’t hurt me at all, because I knew he wouldn’t say things like that to hurt me. “But takes one to know one.”

“Wait.” I was confused. “What does that mean?”

“Don’t get any ideas now.” he quickly stated. “I just wanted to remind you how weird all of this is.” he took a sip of his beer. “How hilariously weird.” he laughed.

Dave, a straight guy, a good friend. Yes, I was the weirdo of the duo, but he doing what he does for me can be just as weird and the fact that he just doesn’t care only proves even more what a great bro he is, being ridiculously open-minded about all this stuff.

“You didn’t have to, you know?” I told him.

“Teasing you is hilarious.” he admitted. “Thanks for the laughs.” he patted my back.

I simply decided to remain silent, probably the best decision, and let the waterfall once again do all the talk, as the millions of droplets of water made our clothes soaking wet. Dave asserted his dominance, but the waterfall definitely had the last word.

——

Back to the camp, we quickly put some sausages with “Adam’s special sauce” on the barbecue (I’ll save you the mandatory jokes) and had a nice dinner all the 4 of us together, planning on what we were gonna do the next day; probably something simpler, not deep in the woods: the town were we left the car had a couple of good restaurants so like the bunch of city slickers we are, we decided to hang out there the next morning.

It was a windy night, but it wasn’t that cold outside, so both me and Dave lay down in our tent, next to each other, without sleeping bags. A small lantern lit the inside of the tent with a warm light. My friend was lying on his stomach, still wearing the long-sleeved shirt and the jeans from before, which I sadly immediately noticed.

Dave’s face was even more lit because of his phone inches from his nose, which he was using to message Dana, as the continuous tapping and notifications sounds confirmed. Honestly, that was kind of annoying.

“Bro…” I whispered. “Can you… please, you know?” I said, hoping to sound just as annoying.

“Mh?” Dave replied, distracted by all the messaging.

“Please?” I repeated.

Dave smiled and resumed the noisy tapping. “Yeah sure, give me a minute.”

“Nice.” I thanked him.

I simply laid down, staring at what can we consider the “ceiling” of our tent. That was a good day, we should actually do it more often.

“Alright.” Dave put his phone down, after indeed a minute passed.

However, he kept moving for some reason. He laid down on his back and turned his entire body so his legs would be next to my head. But then, he cocked his denim legs up and made those go over my head, now fully showing off his denim ass right next to my face, which looked like a wall of jeans given how loose (almost sagging) it was.

“Dude, what the fuck?!” I almost yelled.

“Huh?” Dave said. All I could see was his denim ass, but I could tell he was confused.

“What the Hell?” I kept asking.

“Bro. You literally asked for it.” he explained.

“I didn’t.”

“Yeah you did!” he insisted, this time laughing a bit.

That felt surreal.

Then I realized.

“I was… I was talking about all the tapping, dude! If you could put that damn phone on mute!”

We remained silent for a couple of long seconds, then Dave broke the silence by laughing like an idiot.

“Sorry bro, I totally thought you finally had the guts to just ask for it ahah.”

“I would never!”

We kept talking like that, with my head inches from his ass, Dave just casually lying down like that as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Well…” my bro finally said. “Do you want me to fart or not?” he whispered, as we both remembered that Greg and Adam’s tent wasn’t far from us, even though they were already asleep.

The way he just casually asked got me massively aroused already. How in the world I manage to have a friend like him is beyond me, beyond my wildest dreams.

“It’s not like I have anything better to do anyway.” he then said.

Indeed, we were in the middle of nowhere.

“Okay…” I finally found the courage to speak. “But only if you want to.”

Dave laughed.

“I don’t want to fart in your face, bro.” he said, reaching for my head, pulling it even closer to his denim ass. “I want to fuckin’ end it. Ready?”

That was a rhetorical question. The blast that greeted me was massive, my face shaking due to the power of that fart. Whatever sauce Adam put on those sausages really messed with my friend’s stomach, which was already infamously powerful as well all know. The stench was unbearable and the entire tent shook because of the wind Dave was shooting out of his ass.

The natural blast kept going for about 12 more seconds, with my friend letting my head go halfway through the rip, knowing that I wasn’t going anywhere. At around the 16th second mark, the fart finally ended, leaving an invisible gas cloud engulfing the tent. The smell hit my bro as well, but he was basically immune at his own poisonous attacks.

Without moving his ass, he slightly got up, staring down at me from beyond that wall of jeans, with a silly smirk, checking for my reaction, which was awkward and speechless as usual, something that he’d always find amusing.

“Are you ok there, Tim?” we heard Greg yell from his tent.

Both of us laughed like idiots this time. “It’s all good!” Dave yelled.

Maintaining eye-contact with me, with his ass still inches from my face, he started to suck air in. The facial expressions he made were just as hot as the sounds he was producing from his ass.

“Asserting dominance?” I casually asked.

Dave laughed again. “Nah, just making a thirsty bitch’s dreams come true.” he joked.

Once again, I wasn’t offended, nor Dave’s words were ill-intentioned. We always made fun of each other after all, and considering what was happening… I honestly deserved that.

My friend reached for my head one more time, pulling it close to his denim ass, now completely sagging, my nose rubbing against the red fabric of his sweaty boxer shorts. This time he was blasting me on command, but honestly there were no different from his natural ones. He was indeed really good at quenching my thirst, I couldn’t deny that.

It was a series of mid rips, loud and about 3 seconds long each. I wish Dave always had nothing better to do than blasting me, to be honest. I again heard our other friends’ yelling something, but the sound from Dave’s farts was so loud it reminded me of the waterfall.

The tip of my cock dampened as the barrage ended with a longer 9 seconds rip, which almost teared a hole through my friend’s red boxer.

He finally let me go and he resumed his previous position, lying down next to me.

“Dave…” I said. “I’ll never understand why you do it, but thanks.”

“I swear I’m gonna kick your ass if you keep saying that.” he replied, pushing me a bit.

I tried to relax, as if nothing happened, another thing that Dave was much better than me at. I closed my eyes and focused on having a good night sleep… but I heard all that tapping again.

“Really?” I said, turning to him.

“If you can handle the noises my ass makes, you can handle my phone, you hypocrite.”

“I… you… you KNEW I was talking about the phone the whole time!”

Dave simply turned to me, sporting the most annoying smirk he could mess me with.

“It’s just too easy with you.” he said one more time, and winked at me.

Truly asserting dominance, he raised one of his legs and a ripped a quick, loud one, effortlessly.

At this point I was just blushing like a fool. I turned my back to him to avoid eye contact because I was a mess. My bro is such a teasing bastard and I both hate and love him for this, but damn it’s getting way too hot in here.

Luckily, the cold windy night helped cooling me down, even though there was more wind inside the tent than outside, because of Dave.

Maybe that’s why they call it “Windy Mountain” (yes, you knew it was coming).

End of Episode 24

#fart story #eproctophilia #davefarts2 #gayfarts #malefarts #fart kink

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ueasking · 2 months

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Last year, I went through a dark period no one could tell because I hid it very well when I saw my friends I was still able to chat with them, joke around, and have a good time

During that period, I would often go to the gym alone, and push myself till I was exhausted, so that I'd get a dopamine boost which would make me feel better! And help me sleep better

Since I didn't have anything else to do, I thought that I might as well get in shape and be prepared, and perhaps when the time comes a suitable role might come my way! This went on for two three months

One afternoon, 君君 messaged me and said there's this bl drama, would you be interested? They'd like to chat with you There are going to be some shirtless scenes and fight scenes, it's the character "Wei Qian" in the drama adaptation of the novel "Da Ge"

This was my first time hearing this name, I had not yet read the novel and I had no idea what this character's personality was like, or what type of story it would be

I just felt this jolt in my heart, a wonderful feeling that I couldn't explain

I said: Okay! I can do this! I think I'm ready!

Then, I finished the novel "Da Ge" in three days And that was when I finally understood, why I felt that in my heart upon hearing this name

It's because Wei Qian's life is full of darkness and melancholy… and in some ways, I'm living some aspects of his life. Feeling uncertain and lost about the future!

Reading the novel, I felt like I was being comforted and saved It was like looking into a mirror… seeing all these images in my head… Wei Qian, it's you who has come to me, isn't that right?

Actors have this saying, which I wholeheartedly believe, "Characters/roles have souls, and it's the role that comes to you, not the other way around. They have something to say through you! If it's meant to be then there's no escaping it." And I believe that Wei Qian has come (to me)!

Perhaps you could sense this dark period? Through cosmic resonance, you found your way to me! Is there something that you want to say through me?

To all the people who are feeling lost and stuck in the darkness, please believe that someone's going to be by your side that's just like the sun

Wei Qian, thank you for coming to me! For letting me become you! And I'd like to thank myself, for being able to take on most of the dark and melancholic parts of your life, during that period of darkness

We've made it through that period of darkness together… Regardless of how this show does, you are the most important present that I received last year! One that I'll remember for the rest of my life!!

Unknown is more than just a BL

It's about all of our lives!

Everyone is working hard to get by! Work, family, providing for one's family, paying bills, and paying off student loans! You might feel as if you're suffocating under it all, but you're still persevering because you have something important to protect, something to live for!!

We all have our hardships that no one else knows of, that we don't want others to know about! But… as long as you're alive, you'll be able to find your way back home!

Episode three airs tonight at 8!!! The unknown stories continue on Let us walk on together

#just saw this on instagram and thought i'd share #cw mental health #unknown #unknown the series #關於未知的我們 #taiwanese bl #chris chiu #chiu yi chen #*unknown

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orchestraytedkhaos · 8 months

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Rexsoka. Yeah, it's my ship. Still.

I mainly just lurk here, reading fanfic and enjoying the memes. But the angst of the last few has given me the courage to dive in and say a few words.

First, let me clear the air: Rebels was when I started shipping Rexsoka. Prior to their reunion on that show, it had never ever occurred to me to ship them. Despite having read the novels.

So, yeah, look, I totally get the opposition to shipping early Clone Wars Rex and Ahsoka. She's a child. He's a child too, arguably, although his accelerated maturation makes everything super messy. The military structure and fact that Rex is basically a slave means its got power issues galore. Then for those in the US, there is the whole 18 year old age of consent thing (noting, for good or ill, it's 16 most other places). I get why this squicks people. It's the SanSan of Star Wars.

But people grow up. Even on TV.

Season 7 Ahsoka is 17 going on 18, and effectively an adult. She's commanded armies, and just spent a year living and working independently. She is also obviously mature and, frankly, animated that way. Rex is a long term friend, they love and care for each other, and by the end of the season, she basically risks everything for him, and he for her. The episodes are also written in a very obviously shippy way, with the gazing, the chats, the meaningful converstions, the hand holding and the tears. Not to mention that sad, moonlit reunion in Tales of the Jedi.

And although I dont think it matters much, by this time, even taking Rex at double chronological age, the gap is pretty mild by fantasy standards. 17-18 and about 26, roughly the same as Buffy and age-corrected Angel, and way less than Han and Leia.

Fast forward to Rebels, and we have two mature adults with a shared history and goals, who love, trust and admire each other, share common interests, and are amongst the most important people in each other's lives. It's a believable and natural thing for that to progress to something more. The challenges to their relationship are things like, for Ahsoka, the lingering memory of the Jedi code and Anakin and Padme's destructive passion, and Rex's rapid aging, status and limited life experiences. It is those kinds of emotional and external barriers and their shared trauma that make the romance so interesting.

Season 7 + and Rebels Rexsoka is classic friends to lovers, and one of the nicest, softest and most realistic relationships in Star Wars. The opposition to it, and moraliatic shaming of those who like is, is something I simply don't get. It's bizarre. There are heaps of ships that are far, far more problematic (including Anakin/Padme) that don't get this hate.

Like, anti dudes, what exactly *is* the problem here? I suspect the it's that some people just want to get their hate on.

The recent flashbacks? Yeah, that one on Mandalore complicates thing, but I doubt they had stomping on shippers in mind when they cast Ariana, as I have seen suggested elsewhere. The more likely scenario is that - at about 14 yo when this was filmed - Ariana was totally perfect for the first flashback, and is perfect for playing young Ahsoka going forward. Even setting aside that she is an amazing actress, she's insanely athletic and can duel weild light sabres while knee walking though a twist. She's also already tied to Disney. She wasn't quite right for the part, and, I agree, that does make watching it in light of the fanfic a bit uncomfortable. But, it's not just a shipper issue. Putting an Ahsoka that looks and sounds like that in the episodes with the Martez sisters and Bo Katan is weird af too, and doesn't work. I doubt it is meant to.

Story-wise, the best and only real take is that the flashbacks aren't live action replays. The Mandalore scene doesnt even chronologically match what happened (Ahsoka is so fighting Saxon in that scene, which never happened). They are visions about Ahsoka and Anakin and their relationship, not live action replays. Both remember her as a child caught up in a war. Smoke, the fog of war, flashing lights and dying, faceless clones.

And Anakin and Rex.

What I take from these is that in Ahsoka's mind, and Anakin's too for that matter, Rex is always there for her. Standing in the chaos, calm and confident in himself and in her, and looking badass as heck. With an older Ahsoka it would have absolutely been smoking scene from her pov, and no way was it written otherwise. As an older Ahsoka remembering, it's hot. As younger Ahsoka, he's there as her protector and friend.

Do I do ever think this ship will play out on screen? Not, no explicitly. And, yeah, it probably is harder now because of that vision (although if they ever do film a younger Ahsoka series, they will undoubtedly be casting a young actor for Rex, and Ariana will, by then, be 18). But I don't think that was intentional, and I don't think that much has changed. It was always intended to be an "open for interpretation" relationship, written with the possibility not excluded. And I am good with that. Perhaps I even prefer it. Star Wars has a truly dreadful record with romance and, besides, too often cementing subtle or ust-based ships kill them. I just hope this hasn't, because it's still my ship and I love it.

#rexsoka #That flashback/vision #I am not shipping Ariana's Ahsoka #captain rex #Rex x Ahsoka #ahsoka #Rexsoka #star wars tcw #ahsoka is seventeen in the siege of mandalore #ahsoka tano

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carefulfears · 10 months

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Can you compare the Irresistible hug and the Milagro hug please !!!!!!!!! I love Milagro so much

okay our best and brightest @scullysflannel already talked about this once but let's chat on it (+ unruhe because i watched it last night) just for you babes xxx

/ irresistible

irresistible is my favorite of the three, and my favorite scully trauma™ episode, as it's the most dedicated to the emotional progression.

this episode encapsulates an understanding that the x-files never shied from, that the scariest monsters are human men, it's pointless to pretend otherwise.

fresh off her abduction, a violation and loss of autonomy that she still doesn't understand, scully's reaction to the crimes of donnie pfaster is intimate: his victims are the dead, a group she's always been more connected with than most.

her grief and discomfort at the desecration of women that she's bearing witness to is so overwhelming, and it's something that she's alone in, as the men around her continue with business as usual.

as the investigation continues, scully decides to go back to washington, telling mulder that she'll "better drive this investigation" if she focuses on the evidence.

SCULLY: I'm not having trouble, Mulder.

MULDER: I'd understand, Scully. This isn't exactly easy to stomach.

SCULLY: I'm fine with it. Really. I just think we're a long way from catching this guy. If we could get a print, we'd have something to go on. Right now we're at a standstill.

MULDER: I think it's a good idea. I just don't want you to think you have to hide anything from me, Scully. I've seen agents with twenty years in the field fall apart on cases like this.

Scully: I'm fine, Mulder. I can handle it.

i love this scene. his response here is so perfect. apart from checking in and asking if she's okay a couple of times, he hasn't commented on her state of mind in this situation, but he knows she's having a hard time. he supports her decision to take a step back, playing along that it's a "good idea" for her to direct her attention to the tangible evidence, but encourages her to communicate how she's feeling.

and he tells her that to struggle with a case like this is understandable, it doesn't matter how much experience you have or your position, it's normal.

(another understanding that this show always had: to react emotionally to the brutality of the world and the exploitation of the vulnerable is human, it's the people who look at destruction unflinching who are wrong.)

back in D.C., scully sees her therapist. she tries, you guys. scully's "i'm fine" complex has never meant that she ignores a problem or shuts down, she tries to cope in a way that she's comfortable with. she removes herself from the scene. she goes where she'll be more useful. she schedules therapy.

MULDER: Are you staying on there, Scully?

SCULLY: No. I'm coming back tonight.

MULDER: Look, Scully. I know this is a pretty horrific case -

SCULLY: I'm okay with it, Mulder. Besides, you can use my help.

MULDER: Always.

after her session, scully decides to go back. she's okay with it. she's going to keep trying.

this is one of my favorite moments. she spends this entire episode putting on a front, he spends it meeting her exactly where she is; saying, "i see you," but only to comfort, not expose.

her "you can use my help," is one of their jokes. a way to say, "i'm okay, i'm ready," that's lighthearted and doesn't show too much. when he responds, "always," his voice has such a different tone. it's so earnest, and sweet. his response takes her very seriously, her contribution and state of mind and comfort.

she'd told her therapist, "i trust [my partner] as much as anyone. i trust him with my life...but i don't want him to know how much this is bothering me." he already knows.

(her smile on the phone, they are best friends)

i'm gonna borrow from the post linked up top for this next bit:

"Scully’s abduction is the major turning point in terms of how much the job affects her, and Irresistible is basically a replay of her abduction that gives her more control: she gets the catharsis of a fight, and she knows who she’s fighting (men)."

after being taken by pfaster, when she's found, she pulls out one more "i'm fine," but her suppression and image can't withstand confrontation. mulder gently lifts her chin, and the moment she meets his eye, she breaks down crying into his chest. she tries so hard, she has "always been the strong one," she did not want him to know that this was bothering her. but you can't survive it without facing it.

i didn't notice until today that her gag is still around her neck, she's still so ensnared. police are still making arrangements around them. it all just fades away though.

(he's whispering "it's alright," just for her to hear. when she moves her arms to hold onto him, pull him closer, his face breaks. he closes his eyes to keep from crying. he's so careful with her after her abduction, he's never had anyone come back before. this is a moment they're in together, a sort of catharsis after she returned. it's so foreign and painful to be needed, for the first time in so long.)

/ unruhe

unruhe, written by my beloved vince gilligan, is the most introspective that the x-files ever gets on the dichotomous reactions to gendered violence.

"She can hear him, still stomping around inside the trailer, no doubt looking through the pictures carefully, hoping for yet more insight into the depths of the now-dead serial killer’s mind. In the back of her throat, burning acid threatens to force its way up. The luxury of curiosity, she thinks."

-selbst

throughout unruhe, mulder is hyper-focused on gaining an understanding, attempting to find the killer (and at first, the abducted women) by looking into what has been left behind, and dismissing any other courses of action.

ultimately, nothing he does assists in the case at all, and it's scully's connections and discernments that locate schnauz, mulder and herself never on the same page. unlike irresistible's quiet contemplation and gentle understanding, they're consistently frustrated with each other.

(note that in this episode, scully is bound and held captive by a man obsessed with the loss of his sister. a dynamic that she is very aware of, as she asks schnauz, "why [do i need to be saved]? do i remind you of your sister?")

from the moment that schnauz's first victim resurfaces and they do the PET scan (something that only scully is able to read and understand, not mulder. something again rooted in her personal background), there is a shift in scully.

these women are being lobotomized, and they're being lobotomized incorrectly. schnauz is weaponizing medicine that he doesn't have proper knowledge of, and reducing these women into nothing. when mary lefante is found, she is unable to speak, except to repeat over and over the motivation of her captor ("unruhe," the german word for "unrest.")

things escalate when the body of the second victim is found, and in my favorite scene of the episode, mulder and scully quietly observe the remains in horror, before scully just walks off and gets back in the car (in the driver's seat, a rare occurrence).

MULDER: Hey, Scully, that word "unruhe", "unrest", is bothering me. Maybe he thought he was curing them somehow, saving them from damnation, from those things in the pictures, you know, he called them the "howlers."

SCULLY: It's over, Mulder.

MULDER: Well, then that photo wouldn't be his fantasy. It would be his nightmare.

SCULLY: What the hell does it matter?

MULDER: Because I want to know.

SCULLY: I don't.

(She starts the engine. Mulder stares at her for a second, then gets in the car.)

when mulder approaches the car to ramble about "unruhe," scully never looks over at him or makes eye contact. she doesn't wait for him to get in the car before putting on her seatbelt and starting it. it is over.

i've written about this before (in the previously linked post), but mulder always wants to believe that people who do evil things have a good reason, that they didn't really mean to. that they were just trying to help, or were just following a biological imperative. scully knows that it doesn't matter.

it's the ending of 2shy, when mulder is right, incanto is only killing women because he needs their fatty tissue to survive. and he looks at scully and says, "when you look at me, you see a monster, but i was just feeding the hunger." and scully answers, "you're more than a monster. you didn't just feed on their bodies, you fed on their minds."

what the hell does it matter?

ultimately, scully is forced to "empathize" with schnauz, to survive. she has to utilize the insights that mulder gleamed about him to forge a connection with him, and stall. (she is always listening, and she knows mulder is right. sometimes it just doesn't make things any better.)

as the situation progresses, when she hears mulder outside she's able to wrestle her arm out of its constraint and rip the tape off of her mouth. by the time mulder breaks in and shoots schnauz, she's all but freed herself.

mulder takes her hand and helps her up, and she bypasses him, walking out of the trailer into the light, with one last look back at schnauz. she leaves mulder with the body, as he's looking at the photos. (the luxury of curiosity.)

the only time that we see scully show emotion or vulnerability in this episode, is in the final frame. sitting alone in her apartment, she looks at the altered photos of herself, and her lip quivers as we cut to the ending credits.

where irresistible saw her actively trying to gain control, unruhe is more genuine. she's not trying to conceal anything, she's just tired, and she's alone.

/ milagro

ah, milagro. quintessentially season 6 in a way that i can never establish as positive or negative.

milagro is all about desire: a desire for attention, for approval, for relevance. it's only fitting that it should be so punishing.

ultimately, milagro is about voyeurism, and we have this represented through our monster-of-the-week: scully's stalker phillip padgett.

when scully meets padgett (who had recently moved into the apartment next to mulder) in a church, it's to observe the painting displayed there, "my divine heart."

as he reveals that he knew she would be there to see the painting, as well as many personal details that he has "noticed" about her, it's a heavily emotional discomfort to be so seen.

so much of this episode builds in padgett's apartment, just one door over from mulder. when scully knocks, she tells padgett she was on her way next door and just thought she'd stop and return the milagro charm that he'd given her (a symbol of a burning heart) because she "can't return the gesture."

we talked about this when we talked about small potatoes, but this episode is...embarrassing for her! the kind of attention that she craves is embarrassing to her.

when she comes into padgett's apartment, padgett remarks that it's because she's "curious." she notices things too.

SCULLY: Well, you lead a curious life.

PHILLIP PADGETT: It's not so different from yours I imagine-- lonely.

SCULLY: Loneliness is a choice.

loneliness is a choice, babes! the way that small potatoes ended in classification of mulder as a "loser by choice" (for all of the things he could have, and all of the things he chooses not to pursue), and scully absolving him of that criticism, milagro puts the agency of this mutual repression back onto scully.

(choice and agency is a very important reiterated theme in scully's character. this whole thing only works if she chooses to be here.)

and when mulder comes in to arrest padgett based on evidence found in the murder case, scully is in his bedroom by choice. (very very embarrassing for her)

like these tags said, "psychologist mulder taking two years to connect the dots scully laid out for him in never again."

god, this episode makes me so uncomfortable. it's also the only one of these three that i've never rewatched, so that's why i'm a little more lax in discussing it.

MULDER: No one can predict human behavior. No one can tell you what another person's going to do.

SCULLY: Well, isn't that what you do, Mulder, as a behavioral profiler? You … you imagine the killer's mind so well that you know what they're going to do next.

MULDER: If he imagines it, it's a priori-- before the fact. I think that's pretty clear from what he wrote about you.

laughs nervously...isn't that what you do!! don't you know people's minds and desires!!

when mulder tells scully that padgett's book ends with her having sex with the narrator, and asks, "i'm assuming that's a priori too?" it's so reminiscent of office desks and tattoo ink.

when she replies, "i think you know me better than that," they're both thinking of philadelphia, of something etched in her back that they've never put to words. that too, ended in fire, with desire punished.

(i'm always slack jawed at him asking her flat-out if she fucked the stalker. quintessential season 6, baby! eat your heart out!)

PHILLIP PADGETT: I made a mistake myself.

MULDER: What's that, Mr. Padgett?

PHILLIP PADGETT: In my book, I'd written that Agent Scully falls in love but that's obviously impossible. (looking at MULDER) Agent Scully is already in love.

agent scully is already in love, agent scully already desires so viscerally, (agent scully is making things personal, as mulder had rebutted in defense of diana, not long enough ago)

i know a lot of people love this line, but it just makes me want to weep for her. scully is such a discreet person, she values her privacy so much, and has so little of it left. it's the emotional equivalent of her physical exploitation, to have her most personal and intimate feelings exposed like this.

loneliness is a choice, and that’s her’s to make, the way mulder’s choice was affirmed in small potatoes.

(padgett as a character is a stand-in, he represents the voyeurism of an audience, of projecting a persona onto someone for personal gratification. he isn't ascribed any motive. but this to me, feels like a power trip, even if unintentional. he's perhaps just being honest, but he's recognizing that he can't have her body, so he exposes her soul. he also doesn't know scully as well as he thinks he does.)

both never again and milagro are about a caricaturized self, embracing or rebuking who you are in someone else's eyes. whether scully is perceiving herself as mulder's loyal first mate who "always does as told" or padgett's lonely object of lust, she responds by leaning into that exposure, going where she's wanted, and continuing her ascribed "cycle" of devotion and rebellion.

the reveal in the end, is that this week's monster is not truly padgett, but a character that he's created, who is committing the murders described in his book.

like padgett himself, the killer is a personification of longing; it's him who declares that the only way for the book to conclude, is for scully to die.

but just as jerse did in never again, padgett throws himself in the fire to narrowly absolve scully of the fated ending, and sacrifices his heart for hers.

when mulder realizes what's happening and races back up into his apartment, the sight is bone-chilling. she actually looks dead, unconscious and covered in blood, from a wound that's now healing.

when she wakes up and sees him over her, she reaches for him as abruptly as she opens her eyes. she claws into him, her fingers never stop grabbing at him, pulling him closer and closer and sobbing into his neck.

so little of it actually matters. she almost died without him there. this is after tithonus, and she's remembering those lessons again. (what about love? you don't want to be around when it's gone.)

and just as in irresistible, mulder breaks too, feeling the weight with her.

anon, to compare the three, i would say they each represent the theme of their particular place in the narrative and scully's characterization.

irresistible is the fragile dependence of a post-abduction season 2: perceiving comfort as a weakness, fear as a burden, but needing it anyway. recognizing who you trust, what that means, and that wounds can't heal in detachment. from each other and from the brutalization of the world itself.

unruhe is the building isolation of season 4: going where someone can’t follow, whether in societal experience or the looming instability that’s close ahead.

and milagro is the painfully confrontational tension of season 6. having your heart ripped out of your chest, bleeding, in attempts to be understood. just clutching what you need, weeping, in the end: there’s no use fighting it. (or hiding it. loneliness is a choice, but there’s freedom in being stripped of options)

it is a growth, in a diminishment of pretense and self-consciousness. it just comes at a cost.

i also want to bring it back to @scullysflannel’s post on this topic, because she summarized another aspect of it that i didn’t touch on:

“Scully tells the therapist in Irresistible that she doesn’t want Mulder to think he has to protect her, and I feel like the end of Milagro is about Scully accepting his type of protection, and by extension his type of love. Padgett makes her want Mulder to pursue her in a way he’s never done, but Padgett also ultimately shows her the danger of being sought after like that, and it makes Mulder’s straightforward protectiveness look pretty good. it doesn’t matter right then if Mulder is giving her everything she wants. she needs him.”

milagro is about desire, and ultimately it’s about a relinquishing of desire. scully is drawn to padgett because he offers her something that mulder doesn’t (won’t?) give her, and she’s ripped to pieces because of it.

it is punishing, to want something so badly. ultimately, when she almost loses it all, she’s clinging to what she has.

(but mulder is learning too, and they’ll get there. they’ll get to all of it.)

#asks #irresistible #unruhe #milagro

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ashleywool · 1 month

Text

"I LOVED THAT SHOW"

I wore my How to Dance in Ohio hoodie to church today. It's Palm Sunday and we did our customary palm procession from Duffy Square into the building, which is nice and all except winter decided to come back and bite my skin off again...so that sweatshirt seemed like the best choice as warm enough for the weather + can fit under my choir robe + won't get swelteringly uncomfortable once we're inside at the service. It did the job. Truly the ultimate transition piece. Get yours today while supplies last.

At fellowship afterwards, someone from the congregation that I didn't know--she's only in NYC part of the year--pointed out my sweatshirt and said "I LOVED THAT SHOW!"

It took her a moment to recognize me (she initially confused me for Madison, which, yeah that happens, I'll never be mad about it), and we had a lovely chat about the show. And what I noticed after walking away was...the subject of autism, or me being autistic, didn't come up at all.

I love and cherish the advocacy aspect of my work on HTDIO. I love and cherish the opportunity it gave me to be the autistic representation I wished I'd had growing up. But I have to say, it was SO nice to have someone, a total stranger, talking about the show and loving the show independent of The Autism Part.

It was wonderful being part of discussions about diverse representation, and I will never turn down opportunities to eagerly participate in those conversations. But I really wanted us to stick around long enough that the "novelty" aspect of "autistic characters played by autistic actors" (or even "canonically nonbinary/genderqueer characters") would wear off sufficiently for more people, so they could focus on the story and the characters and the music and all the other things that make our show great irrespective of the Representation aspect.

I've had a ROUGH few weeks, y'all. Truthfully, I've been going through one of the worst depressive episodes of my life. Aside from the obvious grief factor and logistical stressors, it turns out that post-operative depression is absolutely a thing. While I'd like to think I'm cognitively and emotionally mature enough to handle this level of change, especially considering how lucky I am to have robust support systems in family, friends, and healthcare practitioners, my very autistic nervous system has had a difficult time letting the sympathetic part cooperate with the parasympathetic part. So I've been a ball of tension, exhaustion, and worst of all, that soul-sucking apathy where nothing seems enjoyable or interesting, but maybe it would be if I had the energy to be interested.

It's helped to find a great physical therapy clinic that is giving me comprehensive, multi-pronged care and NOT charging me copays (because apparently my insurance pays them excellently--thank you, Equity-League and Cigna). It's helped that I got back in touch with a therapist I had seen years ago on BetterHelp (she's since left the platform and honestly, GOOD FOR HER). It's helped that I have parents with the means to help me out financially--and, crucially, the means to keep me accountable without resorting to pressure and guilt-tripping. It's helped to still live in a city where financial assistance isn't excruciatingly hard to come by if all else fails (at least compared to other states). It's helped to have agents submitting me for tons of exciting projects, and having several cabarets and readings to look forward to in this time of transition. It's helped to have a really chill, supportive church community keeping me spiritually grounded without buying into the yt American evangelical toxicity. It's helped to have my cats.

But sometimes, what makes me the happiest of all, is hearing "I LOVED THAT SHOW!"

I'll never not be proud to be known for How to Dance in Ohio and everything we stood for. I'm proud that the love was real, and the quality of the material reflected and reverberated that love. I'm proud of the representation aspect, and I'm proud that it wasn't just about that. And people who saw it, saw all of that.

It's so comforting to know that we shared this show with enough people that it's going to continue to matter.

People aren't going to forget.

I love that for us.

By the way, it was too cold to really show it off, but this is the shirt I wore underneath the sweatshirt. :)

#how to dance in ohio #htdio #broadway #musical theatre #spectrum club 7 #htdio musical

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 1 year

Text

In Plain Sight (Part 3)

Summary: The reader and Jensen have a chat on the way to work about her birth mother. Meanwhile her quick thinking gets her some praise at work...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x daughter!reader (with lots of daughter!reader x OMC)

Word Count: 4,500ish

Warnings: language, mention of family angst

A/N: Wonder what happened with the reader’s birth mom...

______

“Honey bun,” said your dad the next morning. He insisted on driving you in to work, even if you were fine to do so yourself. His voice was rough, laced with a lack of sleep. And he wondered where you got your morning grumpiness from. You grunted, sipping on your thermos filled with cold brew and ice. An affinity for black coffee was another thing you’d inherited from him.

“Father,” you mumbled, closing your eyes. Even though you were considered crew, you had a later start time to your day typically, normally a few hours after call time. You didn’t have to sit through hair and make up or do blocking after all.

“Dost thou prefer to speaketh regarding young sire Foxe’s confession?” You rolled your eyes slowly, your dad chuckling deeply as he caught it in the side mirror. “You like my british accent.”

“That wasn’t british. That was butchering the english language,” you said, sitting upright, crossing your arms over your chest, snuggled up in a warm SPN crew hoodie you’d stolen years ago.

“I know Crew told you something very personal last night.”

“He did. I’m assuming you knew about his family.” He hummed.

“Episode one last season we’re in a car accident. He told me when I saw how shaken up he was at the end of that day. It’s not easy for him to share that. And the sad part is that the more well-known he gets, the more likely that information is going to get put out there without his consent.”

“That’s not guaranteed to happen,” you said, closing your eyes. “I know why you’re talking about this, dad.”

“I’m just saying, please be respectful of the information. That boy doesn’t need more heartbreak in his life.” You nodded, turning your head towards him.

“Crew’s your friend but you look out for him like a parent would, don’t you. You and mom.” He was quiet for a moment, parting his lips. “Dad. Come on. It’s obvious.”

“He is my friend. But this is a hard industry and I’d want someone to look out for you if I was gone. He deserves someone having his back. If that makes sense.”

“It does,” you said, glancing out the dark window again. “You and mom are good people, dad.”

“If you ever become a parent, you’ll know how much what you just said means to me,” he said quietly.

“It was never your fault,” you said, still staring at the moving trees along the side of the highway. You hadn’t brought it up in years. You’d said it to him before but he had a tendency to shut down after you told him that. “Just like it wasn’t Crew’s fault.”

But this morning felt different. And you hoped he listened for once.

“I know it wasn’t, honey bun,” he whispered. “I just wish it never happened.”

“Me either but I want us to be able to talk about it because I recall doing a lot of talking and a lot more talking and you didn’t do any. It’s been a long time and one of us has a lot healthier way of dealing with it than the other.” A loud sigh filled the car, the air growing tense. “Dad.”

“Y/N. Enough. You know I’m hear to listen if you ever-”

“I thought you wanted us to be best friends again. Last I knew, best friends talked about shit like that with each other.”

“If I say I’ll talk to mom about it sometime will you drop it?” he said, voice harsher than he meant.

“Fine,” you said quietly, glancing at him, his eyes focused on the road. “I get that I’m your kid but I’m not a little girl anymore. You can talk to me about her, about it, and I can handle it.”

“Leave her in the past where she belongs,” he said, words heavy. He was done talking about it until you were brave enough to bring it up again.

But then he surprised you as he drove down an off ramp.

“I forgave myself for it a long time ago. No one could have changed a thing.” You sat up straight, giving him your attention.

“Then why won’t you ever talk about it? I’ve thought you blamed yourself for years.” He smiled, a sad smile that made your gut ache.

“Because you don’t tell your child you hate their mother. You don’t raise a child to have hatred, even when it’s deserved. I love you too much to put that on you, make you cynical, afraid. But you’re right. You’re not a little girl and you’ve had some crappy life experiences all on your own. So the reason I never talked about how I felt is because I hate that bitch and I didn’t want my little girl to grow up with that. I wanted her to be understanding and have faith in the good in the world and to believe in the good crap. Why do you think I made you go to therapy as a kid? I needed to know that bitch didn’t put a dark mark on your heart that you’d carry with you. And maybe you thought I blamed myself but I will take your pity because that means you are kind and good and I did my job as a parent.”

You stared at him, his eyes hidden by the sides of his sunglasses but you felt him look in your direction. “I…thank you for telling me the truth.”

“You’re old enough to know,” he said.

“For the record, I hate her too.” Now he was definitely looking, pulling to a stop at a sign, ignoring the line of cars behind him. He lifted his shades, worry in his green eyes. “I always understood her actions. But she hurt you and that pissed me off. As far as I’m concerned, all I ever had was you and Dee. You and my real mom. That woman that made me was an egg donor and that’s it. She never cared about either one of us and then she hurt you as much as me and the bitch can rot in hell for all I care.”

“You always were protective of me, even when you were a kid,” he said softly, pulling his shades down and driving again. “You got that from me.”

“I got everything from you.” He reached over and ruffled your hair, trying to hide his grin. “You have to ruin the moment don’t you?”

“Absolutely. Far too sappy of a morning so far. So no more worrying about me alright?” he asked.

“Deal. Well, at least for that,” you said, his ruffling turning into a full on hair attack. “Dad! I have to work! I can’t look like shit!”

“Oh I’ll get one of the hair and makeup girls to fix it for you.” You huffed, pointing out the window at a building, earning a groan from him. “No.”

“Yes. You ruined my hair. Payback’s a bitch.”

“We get breakfast at work.” You crossed your arms, an overly dramatic sigh escaping him as he turned off the road and pulled into a parking spot. “Ten minutes. Max.”

“We’ll be in and out. Promise.”

“Good morning!” said Crew when you walked on set. You had your hood up, your hair still a hot mess while you sipped on your black coffee from dunkin donuts. You blinked slowly at him as your dad walked past you with a few boxes of munchkins. “I stopped at Starbucks on the way in. I could have-”

“This demon child doesn’t like starbucks. Something is wrong with her. Truly.”

“I like dunkin donuts. Black,” you mumbled as you noticed Crew was holding two cups in his hand, one of them filled with whipped cream and something syrupy looking. “What is that?”

“Uh…a peppermint mocha…for you,” he said, holding it out cautiously. “I knew you were coming in early today and thought you might like something special…” he trailed off as you stared at it. Carefully you took a lick of the whip cream as he held the cup, Crew’s eyes wide as you bent down and slowly straightened.

“I like whip cream. But not in my coffee,” you said, offering a tired smile. “I’ll make an exception today.”

“Uh,” he repeated, still holding the cup. You held up your hands, a cup in one hand, boxes of mini donuts in the other. “Oh. Oh! Your hands are full. That makes more…sense.”

You grinned, blinking away the sleep in your eyes. “Did you think I was making a sexual gesture Crew?” You slipped past him and smirked. “What a filthy mind you have…” You turned and went back, licking at the whipped cream again.

“You’re fucking with me. Aren’t you.” You licked your lips, Crew watching the motion closely.

“Me? No, no. I’d never dream of it,” you said. “Thank you for the coffee Crew. You can leave it in hair and makeup. I’ll find it.”

“I’ll get you black next time. Extra whip cream.” You pouted but found yourself smiling, Crew returning it. “Later, kid.”

“Later, Foxe.”

It was a long day and you were actually quite grateful for Crew’s sugary coffee when it was night time and you were still shooting. There’d been issue after issue today that delayed filming but the crew appreciated the donuts you and your dad had brought in for a treat that morning. Your boss had told you that you could go home a few hours ago but you knew they were doing the big car stunt in the night and the shots of that would be great promotional material for the next season.

“Jensen. Crew,” called the director. Both of them hopped up from their seats in the tent shoved in an alley between buildings. You followed after with your camera around your neck, settling into where you wanted to be for your shots. You were past the camera rigging and after discussing with stunts earlier, you knew where a safe place to stand would be as the car drove past you.

But while you watched the two of them take their marks in the middle of the road, something nagged at your gut. You glanced over your shoulder at the stunt car, eyeing it suspiciously while the director and a producer talked to Crew and your dad much farther down the street.

“Hi,” you said to the stunt driver, the man giving you a tired nod. “How’s the car running?”

“Hm?”

“How’s the car handling? I imagine it’s much rougher than a normal car.”

“Stunt cars are normally bare bones. They get beat to shit,” he said. “You’re the new photographer? Jensen’s kid?”

“Yeah,” you said, holding up the camera. “You mind if I get a few shots of you and the car for behind the scenes stuff?”

“Go for it,” he said. You didn’t bother to pose him and he didn’t seem to mind given it was close to midnight and this was his last shot of the night. He did give you a strange look though when you got down on the ground and took a picture of the undercarriage. “I’m getting the signal. I got to go.”

You let him get in the car as you sat back on your knees, glancing through your photos. You quickly stood and walked in front of the car, the guy getting halfway out. “Kid, you can’t stand there. You have to-”

“You know who’s in charge of the stunt cars?” He stared at you like you were an idiot. “Who is in charge of the stunt cars?”

“Y/N! Get out of the damn way!” shouted a producer from down the street.

“Not until I can talk to whoever is in charge of these cars!” you shouted back. Suddenly the director, two producers, someone from stunts and both Jensen and Crew were headed your way.

“It’s your funeral,” muttered the stunt guy, shutting the door and leaning back against it.

“What the hell is going on? Get out of the way, Ackles,” said the producer.

“Over my dead body I move,” you said, waiting until everyone was within earshot, ignoring the producer that was growing louder and more impatient with each passing second.

“Jensen deal with your fucking child,” said that producer when your dad got closer. His eyebrows shot up, a dry laugh escaping him. “I’m not joking. She only got this job-”

“She got this job because she’s a good photographer, dickhead,” said your boss who’d jogged over.

“Now that’s the second time in two days you’ve insulted her. First it was yesterday when a fucking safety protocol was missed. Granted, it was a minor one but she could have been seriously injured and now today-”

“She’s holding up a fucking scene! We only have an hour before we have to pay everyone-”

“Are you worried about fucking overtime right now?” barked back your dad. “This is not the first time I have-”

“Don’t you pull that lead actor shit on me, pretty boy. I was doing this when-”

“Oh, don’t start, Todd. You have a history of harassing younger staff and I never wanted you to join this season.”

“I fucking knew it was you who-”

“Y/N, why won’t you move?” asked Crew calmly.

“She’s a diva like her father,” said the producer.

“She’s doing us a fucking favor filling in last second like she is, putting her own business on hold for it. Show some damn respect,” said your boss.

“She’s holding up a scene!” shouted the producer.

“Because the air smells like fish oil,” you said. The producer threw up his hands as your dad and the stunt coordinator stared at you.

“Whoopey-di-fucking-doo. There’s stale fish in a trash-”

“Leaking break fluid smells like fish oil,” you said, turning around your camera, showing them the screen. “And that is a leak, forming a puddle under this car you were about to drive at your two lead actors at high speed.”

“That’s bullshit. That’s-”

“She’s right,” said the stunt coordinator, wiping a hand over his face. “That’s what that smell is.”

“How the fuck does she know-”

“My diva father taught me on our muscle car. But I’m just a diva photographer that only got this job because of her daddy, right? What do I know?” you said, giving the producer your best bitch face. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Crew trying to hide a smile while your dad wore the one on his face proudly.

“I…” said the producer, turning to the stunt coordinator. “This is your fault.”

“This was an accident. You have a flaw in your safety check with the stunt cars. All you have to do is fix it,” you said calmly. “But the way you spoke to me this morning and then now-”

“What the fuck did he say to you this morning?” said your dad.

“He told me I wasted time yesterday and I wouldn’t be paid for the full day.”

“You told a union member you were docking her pay?” said your boss.

“She’s not in the fucking union. She’s-”

“She joined the union when she was in college during an internship and she kept up her dues,” said your dad, turning to your boss. “I’m not a manager but it sounds like he crossed a line with your union employee.”

“I was just-”

“There are rules for a reason, to protect employees from assholes like you. She had a medical emergency, caused by this fucking set. You’re lucky she’s not suing,” said your dad.

“You’re fired.” Everyone turned to the other producer who hadn’t said a word, his eyes locked onto Todd’s. “You’ve been on the job a week and I’ve already had too many complaints from young employees about you. Now you threaten to illegally dock pay. Pack up your shit and leave. You’ll get a nice compensation package so just fucking leave.”

Todd didn’t say a word as he walked away. It was only then that you realized Crew had come up to your side, his hand on your lower back steadying you when you breathed deeply.

“Sorry for my language,” you said quietly, glancing down.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, Y/N,” said the producer. “And I’m making an executive decision. No stunts with vehicles until every single one of them is checked and extra precautions are taken going forward.”

“We can make the scene work without that one shot,” said the director. “We already have the one of the stunt guys. Jensen and Crew will just show a bit more emotion on their faces when we cut to them lying in the road, right guys?”

“Of course,” said Crew, your dad giving a nod as he looked at you.

“Sorry,” you said again. He shook his head with a smile.

“Don’t apologize. God, don’t apologize for standing up for Crew and mine’s safety. You did the right thing,” said your dad.

“I could have just said something and not…now you’re down a producer and it’s my fault. I-”

“He made his own bed. As a producer we’re all responsible for on set safety and he tried to pass the buck onto stunts. I’m Nolan by the way and if photography ever doesn’t do it for you anymore, consider management because you sure as shit got the backbone for it.”

“Uh, thank you,” you said, pursing your lips. “So uh, can we go back to work so the rest of the crew isn’t awkwardly staring at us anymore?”

“I think that’s a good idea. We’ll need to write up an incident report but we can do that in the morning with fresh eyes,” said Nolan. “Nice catch, Y/N.”

“Hey,” said your dad when he and Crew guided you to walk with them down the street towards where they’d want to be filming now. “How’d you smell that fluid from so far away? I didn’t notice until we were next to the car.”

“I didn’t. I had a funny feeling something was off so I made an excuse to get closer to the car. Then I noticed the smell and took a picture underneath and saw the leak,” you said.

“She’s always had a sixth sense about that sort of thing,” he said to Crew.

“I guess this means I owe you coffee every morning for like, ever?” joked Crew.

“I’ll settle for you guys being okay,” you said, closing your eyes. “I have to find a new spot to shoot from. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Honey bun.” You stopped in your tracks, spinning around. “Proud of you for trusting your instincts and standing up for us and yourself.”

“I second that like, a gajillion times,” said Crew.

“Thanks guys. Now get back to work so we can all get home.”

“Alright, alright,” you heard as you woke up that night, about three hours after you’d finished work. You must have been screaming, eyes screwed tight as you clutched your blankets to your chest. The bed dipped behind you and a pair of strong arms wrapped around your torso. “I got you, baby. Daddy’s here. You’re safe.”

“I should have told you I didn’t want to go to the park,” you said, fighting back tears, your heart thundering. “I had the same feeling I had tonight but I didn’t listen.”

“You were seven years old, honey bun. You never did a single thing wrong.” He shushed you, the door creaking and shutting gently.

“I woke you up. You’re so tired and you have work,” you whined, burying your face in your pillow, hiding away from him. “I’m so sorry.”

“Come on,” he said, releasing you for only a moment before you were back in his arms and he was carrying you along with your blankets out of the room and down the hall.

“I’m twenty five, dad,” you cried, tucking your face into his neck. “You don’t have to do this anymore.”

“And I don’t give a shit how old you are. I’m not leaving you alone tonight. End of discussion.” You fisted a hand in his shirt, wetting it, not opening your eyes as you were tucked between his warm body and your mom’s in their bed. Gentle fingers ran over your head, more sobs wracking your body. “Talk to us. Come on, baby. You know it’ll help.”

“You could have died and Crew could have died and it would have been my fault cause I thought something was wrong. You got hurt when I didn’t listen to it before,” you said, trying to pull the blankets over your head but he wouldn’t let you. “If I’d listened when I was a kid it wouldn’t have happened and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt. I got you hurt and the only reason I was brave enough to say anything tonight was because I was so scared of it happening again.”

Suddenly you werre pulled upright, two strong hands on your arms, forcing you to stare at your dad. Tears streamed down your cheeks and your nose was a mess as you watched him shake his head.

“That bitch hurt the both of us. You were the child and I was the adult. It was never on you to protect me. It never will be. I’m the one that failed you. I failed you and you never saw me as the bad guy. As the pathetic man I thought I was. You never made me feel less than even when I deserved it. Because you love me. Because it wasn’t my fault you’d tell me. It was hers. And I believed you. I clung to the word of that seven year old and I still do. If I can believe you, then you can believe me. Neither one of us could have stopped it. And I’m goddamn proud of you for protecting Crew and me tonight. I know you hated that, hated standing up like that to people with so much control. You weren’t brave because you were afraid of me being hurt. You were brave because you know you’ll risk getting hurt to do the right thing. You’ll risk your job to make sure I’m okay. Because you care. You have been a brave little badass since you were seven years old. I will never be afraid of you not standing up for yourself or other people. So stand up for yourself, Y/N. It was not your fault. You were not supposed to stop the unstoppable.”

You sniffled, feeling small and like you were that little girl again, spending the night in his bed, terrified to leave his side, him terrified to leave yours.

He wiped off your face with his palms, tucking your hair behind your ears, running his hand over your head. “Tell me you believe me, honey bun.”

“I do,” you said quietly, a barely there smile on his face. Your mom hugged your from behind as he pulled you both into his chest. “Do I have to go to therapy again?”

“Because you have one nightmare after a hard night? No. And you make those choices now, not us,” he said, kissing the top of your head.

“How can you love someone who’s half someone you hate?” you asked, resting your chin on his shoulder.

“You are genetically half hers. But that’s it. The rest of you is all me, all Dee. I’ll love you with every ounce of my soul until the day I die and every day of wherever I go after that too. Blood doesn’t automatically mean family. Not at all.”

“I know,” you whispered, reaching an arm back to hug your mom. “I’m glad you taught me about Baby even though I complained the whole time.”

“Me too. And Crew.”

“Do you think he’s okay?” you asked. “Cause of the accident and everything.”

“He’s alright, I made sure before I left him tonight.” You nodded, your heart finally calming.

The next thing you knew you were waking up in the middle of their king sized bed alone, stretching as you saw the clock was close to eight, mom dropping the other guys off at school. You snuggled back down into the bed, clutching a pillow to your chest when the door opened.

“Hey,” said your dad, lightly patting your cheek. “Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey.”

“Unless you’ve made me eggs and bacon, that is a cruel greeting,” you groaned, blinking open your eyes to find him walking across the room towards his closet in a towel and with damp hair. “You have far more trust in that towel than I do.”

“You do realize you’ve seen me naked only several thousand times? I was a single father for a while you know.”

“Remember when I asked why you had a tail,” you giggled. “I thought you were part dog or something. Like a werewolf.”

“I remember when you kicked me in the nuts so hard I nearly passed out in the tub. Nearly ensured you were my only heir,” he chuckled from inside the closet.

“You were a good dad back then too,” you said, hearing the sound of clothes shifting stop. “I mean, you took baths with me and let me sleep in your bed and took me to school and you did everything, even when you must have been exhausted.”

“I was young and I was not perfect. I know that. You probably know it too. But I wasn’t striving for perfection. If you were clean and fed and happy and safe, I was happy too.” He stepped out of the closet in a pair of jeans and a black henley t-shirt, crossing his arms. “It helped having a good kid. Made things easier.”

“I am pretty amazing,” you said, yawing and closing your eyes again.

“And so modest too,” he said, slapping your thigh. “Up or I’ll tell Karl Urban you think he’s hot.”

You immediately sat up, giving him a death glare. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“How about Josh Duhmel? Stephen Amell? We can tell Quaid you think he’s a cutie with a cute ass. I got a whole laundry list of famous people I know that you think are hot. Your move.”

“You’re evil, father,” you said, gathering up your blankets and walking for the door. “But I respect it.”

“I need to pass along my evil tendencies to at least one of you,” he chuckled, catching the edge of your blanket, stopping you halfway out the door. You glanced up at him, his green eyes soft. “You okay?”

“Thanks for making me talk about it,” you said. He pulled you into a hug, kissing your temple. “Father.”

“Daughter.”

“I appreciate the moment but I really need to go pee, like now.” He released you and you took off down the hall. “I’ll be ready in ten!”

“So be ready to go in twenty. Got it.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

#jensen x daughter!reader #Jensen x daughter!reader series #Jensen Ackles #daughter!reader #reader x omc

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homoeroticgrappling · 6 months

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Forgive me if this is self indulgent and sappy, but I just wanted to share some serious personal appreciation for RJ City, more under the cut. I got into wrestling by being invited by a close friend to watch AEW with them, and one of the first major reactions I had after thinking I could get heavily invested in it was to see RJ City and yell "GILDAR??" at an alarming volume.

At the All In welcome event in London, I chatted with people in the queue about how I wasn't allowed to watch wrestling when I was younger but I loved Splatalot and how excited I was to find out my favourite defender was the dashing host with the most for AEW. So many people in the wrestling community have fond memories of growing up watching the Hardys, Punk, Sting etc. For me I didn't have that but I did make sure I was sat in front of the TV for every episode of Splatalot and being around 13/14 it was one of the very last things I felt able to enjoy wholeheartedly in the way you love things before you're told you're "too old" to be so openly enthusiastic. At one point at a friend's house we tried to dress up as our favourite defenders, I may not have had the rippling muscles or quick wit but I had long dark hair and access to eyeliner so that was good enough for me to get my Gildar on, we threw tennis balls around her living room until we were forced to stop (sorry to Katie's mum and her Galileo thermometer, a casualty of our enthusiasm). Although it probably wasn't considered very cool to be doing that as a teenager, I remember laughing until we had stitches and talking about the previous day's episode on the hour long walk to school, I was thrilled to see a familiar face when I started my journey into being a wrestling fan. It was like showing up alone to a party where you expected not to know anyone and being terrified about if you'd fit in, then being pleasantly surprised and relieved to see an old acquaintance standing by the punch bowl.

Nostalgia goggles can make for disappointment when you revisit things through the eyes of an adult but watching RJ's work with AEW, he was even funnier and more engaging than I remembered, his hair more lustrous, and he had a magical ability to play off literally anyone you put him with. Watching Hey! EW became my favourite way to learn about the people on the roster as a new fan, and it became routine to tune in to RJ Makes Coffee In His Underwear. As I branched out further I found his work with Olde Wrestling was delightful, and if you haven't seen RJ City: Wrestling Raconteur I highly recommend it. The recently uploaded David Arquette Got Me A Talk Show is also a blast and well worth a watch! He's been a huge part of one of the most engaging storylines in AEW right now with Toni Storm and his increasingly frequent appearances on TV have been delighting me to no end.

I've had friends say to me that if RJ City was a real place, I'd own a vacation home there and I'm only half sure they were joking. When All In at Wembley was announced and discussion started about who'd be on the card, the first thing I said to a friend was "RJ better be there" and when I got to the All In welcome event I was more excited to see RJ on stage than anyone else at the event, I have the messages to friends to prove it:

When he mentioned Splatalot on stage at the welcome event I popped HARD and after getting back from All In, I decided to shoot my shot (not really expecting much because y'know maybe he doesn't want to be associated with a show he did years ago when he's got so many more current and impressive career things going on? He's currently crushing it with Hey! EW and Timeless Toni so maybe he doesn't want people messaging him about his stint as a handsome viking)

Not only was he willing to help, he really went above and beyond despite a (presumably) very busy schedule and was a total sweetheart about the whole thing and even threw in some stickers! I now have to get a frame to display this in a suitably prominent place on my wall

So thank you RJ City, for being even cooler than 14 year old Rowan thought you were (also I was right about you being the best defender, Gildar > Thorne my sister can go suck eggs)

#if you made it to the end of this: congratulations!#anyway everyone cheer and clap for rj city he deserves it (and an all elite graphic)#RJ City #Rowan's Rasslin Thoughts

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positivexcellence · 1 year

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Jared Padalecki on That ‘Walker’ Finale, Cordi & Geri, 13-Episode Seasons, and More

Ok, first off…congratulations. You got renewed! And you’re lucky, because if you gave us this finale and then left us hanging, you were gonna be in so much trouble.

Jared Padalecki: No s**t, right? I was like, “Can we just write the season to figure out what happened? We don’t have to film it, but if you don’t mind just writing it?” [Laughs]

Obviously it sucks that it’s only 13 episodes, but I also like that idea because that gives you a lot more time to prep story and streamline it.

You know, Jensen [Ackles] and I asked for 13-episode seasons of Supernatural, many, many, many times. As a matter of fact, I feel like if we had done 13-episode seasons of Supernatural, we’d probably still be doing Supernatural right now. Because it’s hard to do a long network season while also trying to be a husband and a father and friend.

I think Jim Beaver at one of our Comic-Con panels said about 22 or 23-episode seasons, “You know, even if it’s the best batter on the planet, if Ted Williams goes to bat 23 times, he’s gonna strike out a few times.” And so I think a shortened season would just be a really strong, action-packed, story-packed season where we don’t have to do an episode like “Bugs” in Season 1 of Supernatural. [Laughs]

How did the cast hear?

I kind of told them yesterday, I talked to Brad Schwartz [the new CW president] and they totally tricked me. I was doing hyperbaric chamber stuff…after my TBI last year, I try to get hyperbaric [therapy] when I can for brain health and I got out to all these missed messages, like “Hey, we need to do some press for the finale,” and “Hey, will you call into The CW because they have some reporters that want to do this.” And I was like, “Oh, s**t, sorry! On it!”

So I called in and Brad answers like, “Hey, bud… so I just wanted to touch base with you.” And he went on for a few minutes about how I need to do some interviews since the writers are on strike and can’t do them. And I was like “Sure thing,” I was ready. Then finally, he goes, “Well in that case, we are also excited to bring Walker back for Season 4.” I was so totally not expecting that conversation, right? I was in the head space of like, “Okayyyyy, now…what was the finale about again?” [Laughs]

And it’s so nice because we had a little tradition on Supernatural and now on Walker, at the end of the season, where they’d let me give the news. And I had asked Brad many months ago, we had chatted and I asked, “Hey, if it’s good news or bad news, can I be the one to break it to my cast and crew?” Obviously I hoped it would be good news, but even if it was bad news, you know, I’m the face they see every day at work and I’d love to be the one to just tell them thank you. So they’re all thrilled.

Now…did you make any calls to Justin Johnson Cortez? Because he turned up in this finale and that would be awesome to see him again. What he brings into this episode launches a whole new Jackal storyline.

Oh yeah, big time. I would love to see him come back. And yeah, you know, we have this cold case where it’s something that really drove Captain James to the brink back when we originally dealt with it and never felt we’d solved it…and maybe we haven’t. And how does that connect with Witt and our Park Ranger, who is a little more than fishy?

And I gotta tell you, the kids are growing up so nicely. Violet is so good.

She’s so good. Yeah. And we knew that from the get-go. I think some of the early themes in Season 1 where she’s kind of rebelling a little bit, we would shoot her and after we wrapped, I’d get on the phone with Anna [Fricke, the showrunner] and be like, “Holy shit, this young lady, she’s got something.” It’s a joy to work with her… and Kale Culley is growing up and becoming like, Jared Padalecki, Season 1 of Gilmore Girls. [Laughs] It’s uncanny and he’s such a strong performer, too.

Their scene in the finale where she comes in to support him after Cordi tells him to defer his military plans, I was struck by how well they carry their own scenes. The adults could literally take an episode off and they could carry it.

I like the way you’re thinking. I’m gonna talk to writers. Tell them you said that and that I could have an episode off. [Laughs]

There you go. Now when did we find out about Ashley Reyes’ singing?

Uh, how amazing is that? What, and Kearran? So we knew Ashley could sing, she’d gone to [the London Academy of Music & Dramatic Art] out in the UK and she’s like a triple, quadruple threat, whatever you’d call it. She sings, she dances, she acts. She’s funny. She’s dramatic. She’s a home run for sure. She and Kearran…that was a lot of fun. I found myself breaking into Jared sometimes when we were shooting. I was like, “These girls are amazing, right?” [Laughs]

It also felt like, if this show had not been picked up, what a great episode to have as one of your last? It’s just a huge party, there’s all this love, you’re sending off Bonham and Abby to their Italian honeymoon. It was a really joyful episode…aside from the serial killer stuff.

[Laughs] So true! Yeah, fair enough!

Now, the way this season ends is very interesting, because Augie went to grandpa first with the military stuff and then Stella calls in Liam (Keegan Allen) to help with a dead body. How’s Cordi gonna feel about this? And also, how bad is gonna be for Liam holding this secret?

Well, as you know I did a show for 15 years about brothers who had a complicated relationship, you know, who would do anything for each other but also kind of upset each other and crossed boundaries for so long. And I love those stories. So it definitely makes sense that Walker, especially on the night that he decides to do something for himself — he asks Geri to move in for the summer and he’s not really the type to do something for himself like that, he’s not the “I’m gonna take a me day,” right? So he invites Geri in and now he’s about to find out not only did his son tell him earlier that he went to gramps to ask about enlisting, but that his daughter witnessed what might be a murder, but was certainly an attack — something that Walker would deal with in his line of work — and she went to his brother instead. Uh, so yeah, I don’t think he’s gonna be super thrilled about it. [Laughs]

Thank God he’s got Geri to talk him down from the ledge though.

Yeah, yeah. Put him in his place, talk him down.

I love that she danced down the aisle with the kids. Not only is Odette always fantastic, but that just showed how Geri is truly family now.

For sure, and there’s also something I’ve liked since our first scene together in Season 1. I knew Odette vaguely, you know, I think we had met two or three times at random Comic-Cons or award shows or something and she’s always pretty sweet and we always like got along fine. I didn’t really know her know her like I do now, but ever since that first scene in the Side Step where Walker and Liam show up, there seemed to be a depth between Cordi and Geri, like they knew each other’s skeletons, they knew each other’s demons, and they knew how to call each other on their bulls**t. Mostly her calling me on my bulls**t. [Laughs]

That was something I really liked. And so to see Walker have a relationship with somebody that can go like, “Hey, I’ve known you for decades and decades, something is going on. What’s going on? You’re not gonna run past this.” Because Walker can always pull the law-enforcement card and say, “Oh, I’m just worried about this or that…no, I just got something on my mind,” and she is able to go, “Nope…there’s something else going on.” And so I love that dynamic.

Have you talked about casting The Jackal?

We have. Who, who are you thinking?

Well, obviously Jim Beaver would be hilarious.

Oh my God, that would be hilarious.

Or you go get Scott Patterson…

Oh God, that would be great, right?! And I’m gonna see him soon. Again, I like your thinking! I like the cut of your jib. [Laughs] I like those few ideas, so when the writers are allowed to have conversations legally, I’ll have that conversation with them!

tvinsider

#walker #Jared Padalecki

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aloneinthehellfire · 2 years

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Chapter 13: Happy Endings...

Raining Hellfire: Season One | Season Two

Raining Hellfire: Season Two [Finale]

Word Count: 6710 words

Warnings: swearing, lots of fluff, mentions of adoption, slight mention of death, visions, I tried my best to make it a happy one okay

[A/N: This is the last chapter for Season Two and wow I didn't think this many of you would love my story. Thank you all for reading and keeping up with me. I know we've come so far from an Eddie x Reader story but I really wanted to give the reader more of a role in the episodes than just pining over eddie all the time. Anyways, please enjoy and read til the end for an announcement :)]

Happy Endings...

One month later…

December was easily your favourite time of year. Something about the buzz of Christmas and how the cold felt right just made you happy. It was almost peaceful.

After a long day of shopping for outfits and presents, you make your way home so you could start getting ready. You had volunteered for the Snow Ball at the middle school a while ago with Nancy, both promising over the summer that it would be fun just to sit and chat in nice clothing. It hurt a little to know that promise meant nothing now.

You would both be there, especially since you’re too polite to cancel on the school, yet you will probably end up in different corners of the room to just exchange small smiles once in a while. At least the kids would be there. Dustin was over-excited to find out you would be attending.

Letting the door swing open, you struggled with the bags as you tread fallen snow through the hallway. With a sigh, you drop the shopping and kick off your shoes. You may have gone overboard on Christmas presents this year. But, after the month you had, you figured everyone would need some kind of cheer.

You lazily flicked on the light to the living room, removing the scarf from your neck before you saw something shift in the corner of your eye. You glance over and find a figure sat in an armchair, just staring at you.

You screamed.

“Hey! Woah, calm down. It’s me!”

In the time it took them to stand up and walk closer into view, you had reached around the corner to grab your trusted bat, bringing it up in front of you.

“Talk about deja-vu.” He laughed and your eyes widened.

You didn’t lower the bat. Billy was in your house. Billy was in your house. How did he-

He holds both his hands up in surrender, a familiar set of keys dangling from his fingers as he slowly sets them on a table. You had completely forgotten about the Halloween party, how he had swiped your keys.

In all fairness, you had a lot to worry about that didn’t include shitty exes.

“I’m just here to talk.” He glances in your general direction and lowers his arms, shoulders slumped. He almost looked… scared.

“What do you want?” You practically spat the words at him.

The last time you saw him was the night he tried to attack Lucas, the night he actually attacked you and Steve. If Max hadn’t stopped him, he would have killed your best friend. You did return his car, but you didn’t stay long enough to even see him.

“To…” He takes a breath, finally bringing himself to look you in the eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Once he says it, it’s like a dam was burst in his mind, allowing his true thoughts to finally escape.

“I’m sorry for everything, Y/n. I… I don’t even have any excuses anymore. Everything went to shit. Everything and… I don’t know what happened to me.”

You lower the bat and prop it against the wall within reaching distance.

“You realise an apology won’t change anything, right?” You risk a step closer, “You hurt a lot of people, Billy. Innocent kids. Hell, if I weren’t there- if Steve wasn’t there, then you would have hurt Lucas-”

“But I-” He tries but he’s not the only one in need of closure.

“And Steve, oh my god, you almost killed him. I- I don’t even know why I’m talking to you right now.” You raise your arms in exasperation, moving to walk away and yell at him to leave.

“I know.” He follows you into the hallway, practically begging. It was more than unusual for him. “I know and I hate myself for it.”

That took you by surprise. You stop, turning back to look at the boy stood just outside of the living room.

“Then why?” You shake your head, trying to process the fact that Billy Hargrove was apologising to you. “What the hell happened to you?”

He stays silent, avoiding your eyes yet again.

Billy used to be the sweetest boy you knew, even with an abusive father. But you knew that was because of his mother. They had a bond that could never be broken. That was until she left.

“Billy…” You try, crossing your arms across your torso for comfort.

“You left.” He whispered, staring at the photo on the desk next to him; it was one of you as a child, sitting with your aunt when she had visited once. “I thought… I thought you just left. I thought it was my fault.”

You try to respond but nothing seems to leave your lips. He takes your silence as his cue to continue.

“I deserve it. All of it. I was an asshole. I treated you like shit and you never did anything wrong. It was never- But… Lillian died. You had fought her and that’s- that’s when I realised.” He looks up to you, eyes foggy, “I did that.”

“No, you-” As much as you hated Billy, you weren’t letting him take the fall for something you did. You weren’t that kind of person.

“You were always so kind, so patient and… I took my anger out on you. Because it was easy.” He stepped closer, shaking his head as all the pieces in his mind fell together, “And then you did the same to your best friend. Don’t you see, Y/n? It’s an endless fucking cycle of pain and misery all because my dad wasn’t given enough fucking attention.”

At this point, you had nothing to say. You just stared, speechless.

“When you left, before I could explain anything… it felt like any hope I had for redemption was ripped out of my body. You were the only person in California I gave a shit about. And I ruined it. Just like I’m ruining it now.”

“What are you talking about?” You ask before realising as soon as the words left your mouth, “Max.”

“I never had a sibling before.” He shrugs, shaking his head.

“You can’t treat her the way you treated me.” You blurt and he whips his head up to you, “She won’t be your personal punching bag.”

“I never wanted to-”

“I know. I know you never wanted to, but you did. You did hurt me, even when we were friends. And I let you. Because I met Neil and I saw how he manipulated you, poisoned your mind and for that, he will always be my enemy. But you can’t use that as an excuse-”

“That’s just how any kid in that position would react! There is no way around that!” He yells but you won’t be intimidated.

“No.” You say, determined fire in your eyes, “No. Shitty fathers are around much more than you think. Abusive ones… just look at Jonathan Byers. You may not see him the way I do, the way all of his friends do, but have you ever stopped to think that he was in the exact same position as you? You both broke from the pressure, had to deal with a father-figure that only wanted to tear you down. But the one difference? Jonathan used that pain to protect his friends, to become the person he wanted to be. Don’t ever tell me that there isn’t a choice in any of this!”

“What do you want from me, Y/n? To be like Byers?”

“I just… I just wanted you to talk to me, Billy! That’s all. Maybe if you did…”

“Nothing would have changed.” He says with so much certainty that you stepped back in surprise. “That party would have still happened. You would have still moved away. Nothing between us would have changed. We wouldn’t be together.”

“You don’t know that.” You sigh.

“You looked happy.” Billy smiles sadly, hands in pockets. “Getting here and seeing you with that freak-”

“Eddie.” You cross your arms. You’d be damned if you’d let anyone call him that around you. “His name is Eddie.”

“Yeah, Eddie. I, uh… I hated it.” He chuckled lowly, “I hated that you were happy when I was more miserable than ever. I blamed you for everything.”

“Why?”

“I thought you ran away. Left everyone without a care. Max tried to tell me the truth and I didn’t listen. Didn’t want to, I guess.” He leans against the wall, nodding. “I get it now.”

“Good.” You cross your arms, staring at the floor, “I never wanted to leave. Not at the time but now… I know that part of me was glad to leave it all behind.”

“You should be.” He muttered before looking at you, “That night… Lillian-”

You shake your head, cutting off his words. You didn’t need the reminder. “I don’t-”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

You look up with confusion.

“I’m not a narc.” Billy shrugs, “Whatever I saw that night… It’s not important anymore. Everyone was drunk and mad at eachother. Stuff like that just happens.”

“What did happen?” You furrow your brows. You knew what happened, at least with the before and after. But you still couldn’t remember the actual fight itself, how she even ended up in the pool…

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He smirks, thinking it’s a test, and he heads to the door, careful to keep his distance from you.

“Billy. Wait…” You follow him out the door and he stops before the last step off the porch. You had too many burning questions so you settled for one he could actually answer.

“What happened when I left California?”

The question hung in the air before Billy stepped off the porch and turned to you one last time, smiling thinly.

“I had no reason to care anymore.”

And with that, he continues walking away, leaving you on your porch to process what just happened.

Despite your last visit to the Hargrove-Mayfield home, you forced yourself to ring the doorbell, gritting your teeth once Neil greets you.

“Hello, Y/n. Lovely to see you again.” He smiles. Oh, how you wished you could rip that moustache off his face and feed it to him.

“I’m here to help Max get ready for the dance.” You force a sweet smile onto your face, sighing relief when he points you in the right direction and leaves you to it, clearly not interested.

You find Max in the bathroom, Susan stood above her as she twists her ginger locks into a bun. Max looks as if she is about to throw up any moment as she stares at her reflection.

“Oh, Y/n. Good, you’re here.” Susan comments as if you were just some required visitor. Max rolled her eyes.

“Hey, Y/n. Mom, you can go now.” She turned to face her, eyes wide and practically begging her to leave.

“Okay, okay. You girls have fun.” Susan smiles, walking past you.

Usually, you’d be more than happy for her to leave you alone. But curiosity got the better of you.

“Actually-” You stop her in her tracks and you glance back to Max. “I’ll be right back.”

Your sister gave you a confused nod and continued to fiddle with her hair in the mirror.

“Did you need something, sweetheart?” Susan asked, almost as if the last conversation between you never happened.

You knew you wouldn’t have her attention for very long, so you jumped straight into it.

“Am I adopted?”

The silence was the only answer you needed as your mother stared at you. It took a while before she found the words to speak.

“Yes.” She sighed, relaxing her shoulders.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You question, fiddling with the bottom of your dress. It was the first dress you had worn since last year’s funeral and it felt nice. Only because you picked it out yourself.

“Because you are my daughter.” She rests her hands on your shoulders. “Blood doesn’t define family. It never did. Sam and I… we were struggling to have a baby. Our last option was adoption and once I saw your beautiful doe eyes staring up at me… I knew there and then that you would be my daughter.”

“Is Max…” You both speak quietly, aware that Max was in the other room.

“No.” Susan shakes her head, “She was our little miracle.”

You take a breath. You had been pondering that question for quite some time now. And now, to see her finally admit it, you felt relief. Like you could start figuring out who you truly were.

“Do you know-”

“If you’re asking about your birth family…” She shakes her head again, “We didn’t know anything about them. Just that they had dropped you off at the orphanage and then left just as quickly as they arrived.”

Great, you thought, more unanswered questions to keep me awake at night.

“I’m sorry for being such a terrible mother.”

That caught you off-guard. “What? No, you-”

“I know, Y/n.” She smiled sadly, “I wasn’t anything like you deserved. It was… it was a terrible time for me. But I’m trying.”

She looks over to Max. “I’m getting a second chance.”

You thought carefully about your next words. “You’re going to be amazing. You were never a bad mother. You were there for me. That’s all I needed.”

“You’ve always been my independent little girl.” She brushes your hair from your face. “You’ll always be my daughter, Y/n. I never wanted to send you here but I was afraid of what people would do to you.”

“I like it here.” You reassure, smiling the first genuine smile you ever gave her, “I have a family here. And… just so you know… you’re always going to be my mother. That won’t change. But… I like living with Uncle Jack. I feel like… we need eachother more than you and I do.”

“As long as you’re safe.”

She kisses your forehead before disappearing to the kitchen. She left you with more clarity than you were expecting.

You make your way back to Max, chuckling as you watch her furiously taking down the bun your mother had insisted on.

“Help me.” She deadpanned when she saw you stood there and you nodded, still smiling.

You swiftly plait part of her hair, bringing it back so the hair was out of her face. She frowned.

“What?” You ask as she points to the hair you currently clipped back. “Oh, I thought you’d want Lucas to see your face when you dance together.”

Her face twisted and you laughed again.

“Ew. No. No, that’s not-” Max keeps shaking her head, “No.”

“You sound so sure.” You smirk, resting your head on her shoulder and looked at her through the mirror. “It’s okay to like someone, Max. Even if it’s someone you’d never expect.”

“Like you and Steve?” She raises her brow and you laugh at the comment. Usually you’d react in disgust. You didn’t know why that wasn’t the case this time.

“He’s my best friend.” You shrug.

“Right.” Max nods, pursing her lips. “Now look who’s in denial.”

“Okay, Madmax. Do you want any makeup?” You change the subject, pointing to the makeup bag at the sink.

“Uh…” She looks up at you, expecting a mocking look. But, instead, you smile, patiently waiting her answer. “Maybe? Won’t that be too… girly?”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” You say, reaching for the bag to pull out the mascara. “You can still skate when wearing makeup. I don’t think you have to define yourself to one thing. Like you can be both girly and a tomboy. I guess it just depends on how you feel at the end of the day.”

She hums in response, opening her eyes and you lightly brush some mascara on her.

“Okay, look.” You turn her to the mirror and she flutters her eyes.

“Cool.” She shrugs, a soft smile on her lips. “I’m glad you’re back. I know I keep saying that but… I kept your promise.”

You instantly smile, remembering the last words you spoke to eachother before you left. “Really?”

“I never gave up.” She looks at you with her blue eyes, holding your hand.

You grip her hand tighter. “I gave them hell.”

Footsteps approach and you see Susan walking with Billy before parting ways. Billy stops just outside of the bathroom, looking in. Max simply glares at him before turning back to the mirror. His eyes shift to you and you offer a soft smile. He faintly nods before walking away.

“It must be hard for him this time of year.” Susan comments, shaking her head as she moves aside for Max to grab her coat and head to the door.

“What do you mean?” You ask, grabbing your bag.

She looks to you in confusion, assuming you already knew. You shrug and start to walk away before she finally replies.

“His mother died last December.”

Your uncle had let you borrow his car for the evening. You had both had dinner together as a family the previous night and for once, it felt normal. Usually you’d be too stressed to pay attention and your uncle would still be recovering from a hangover with a beer in his hand. But lately, you’ve both had a breath of fresh air.

You were doing better, taking each day as it came as you reconnected with your sister and rekindled the friendship between you and Steve. Your uncle was 4 days sober, doing his absolute best to be a good parental figure for you and to finally get his life back on track. You both struggled in your own ways but it was worth it.

“Do I look stupid?” Max asked, fiddling with her clothes. “Should I be wearing a dress or-”

“You look amazing. Don't even try to deny it.” You turn off the engine and move to face her. “Ready to go in?”

She glances toward the entrance, frowning. “Yeah. I think I am.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

You both step out of the car and you lock it before snapping the keys shut into your purse and pushing the hair out of your face. Since Billy visited, you hadn’t had time to take care of your hair so it fell loose around your face. You didn’t mind.

“Is that…” Max peered over to the entrance and you followed her gaze. Outside the entrance, a car had pulled up. One you were pretty familiar with.

Dustin stepped out and made his way into the school. Max starts walking and you tap her shoulder, still looking to the car.

“Hey, I’ll see you in there?” You ask and she nods, sending a knowing look.

You make your way over to the vehicle, walking around to the passenger side since you didn’t bring a coat and the cold air was attacking your skin.

As you open the door and slide in, you hear a little yelp from the driver’s seat, making you laugh.

“That’s so not funny.” Steve sighed, running a hand through his hair and glancing back to where he had been looking before you scared him. You notice why he’s staring, smiling softly.

“She looks pretty tonight.” You comment, noticing Nancy stood just in view of the doorway. She really did look pretty.

“Yeah, she does.” He nods, turning back to you.

For a moment, he just stops. Stops moving, stops breathing. You furrow your brows, whipping your head to look behind you. But he was looking at you.

“You good there, Steve?” You laugh, as confused as ever.

“I.. uh…” He stammers before clearing his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m… yeah.”

You shake your head in bemusement before catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You had completely forgotten about the outfit, the makeup. You looked… nice?

It was definitely something different that you tried. But the emerald dress was calling your name earlier that morning and you couldn’t resist dressing up. After all, you didn’t get a Winter Formal dance.

“I didn’t, uh, realise you were…” Steve waves his hand toward the school, struggling to keep his eyes off your outfit. He most definitely wasn’t used to this.

“Volunteering?” You offer with a soft laugh. “Yeah, me and Nancy signed up a while ago. I was meant to go with her but… you know.”

“Maybe it won’t be that bad.” He suggests but the look on your face disagrees. “Okay, so maybe it will be completely awkward but, I don’t know, isn’t there someone else you can hang out with in there?”

“No.” You sigh, slumping into the car seat, “It’s Saturday night so I’m all by myself because everyone’s busy and-”

You practically squeal as an idea pops into your mind. Steve jumps a little at your sudden outburst, eyes wide.

“Are you having a stroke? Do you smell burning toast?” He questions, leaning away from you in confused fear.

“What? No.” You say as you lean towards him. You’re too invested in your own idea to notice the way his breath hitches. “You. You don’t have any Saturday night plans.”

“Excuse me, how would you know that?” He objects your accusations, shaking his head.

You relax your face, looking to him expressionless, “You literally just dropped off a child to a middle school dance.”

“Okay, okay.” He surrenders, palms raised. “And please don’t say it like that, it sounds creepy.”

“I’m not the one driving around with a 13 year old-”

Steve’s hand suddenly clamps around your mouth and you giggle, causing him to laugh along with you and retreat his hand.

“Get to the point, tinkerbell.” He finally says, resting his arm on the wheel.

“Tinkerbell?” You question and he shrugs. You weirdly like the nickname. “Anyway, I was thinking that since I’ll be all alone in that dance and you have literally zero plans-”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“What, why not?” You pout and his face twists as he tries to resist.

“No, Y/n. Don’t do this to me. Not that face. I’m not going to chaperone a stupid little school dance just so that you won’t be lonely. It’s your own fault, don’t drag me with you.”

He tries, huffing when you continue pouting and shaking his head profusely, “No. That’s my final answer!”

And just a few minutes later, you walk into the dance, taking in the gym’s decorations that hung neatly from the walls.

“This is nice.” You smile.

“I hate you.” Steve crosses his arms, scouting the sea of middle schooler’s before finding the buffet station you were meant to oversee. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Nah, you love this really.” You smirk, setting your purse onto the chair as he leant against the wall.

“I’m not even dressed for the occasion.” He mocks, pulling at his red jumper.

“You look handsome, I don’t think anyone will notice.” You say without any thought, sorting out the paper plates into even piles.

When Steve didn’t reply, you turned around just in time to watch him shift his eyes away from you, pretending to be invested in the hanging snowflakes.

“It really is nice in here.” You shuffle over to him, leaning against the wall so that your shoulders brushed eachother. “I was kind of expecting just a banner and some bunting.”

“Seriously? The schools always go all out for this kind of stuff.” Steve looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I guess California does it differently.” You sigh, looking out to see your sister talking to the Party. They all look very smart, dressed up in their suits.

“You didn’t get a formal?” He questions and you hum, focused elsewhere.

“I didn’t get the chance.” You say as your eyes drift over to where Nancy stood.

She was chatting away with Jonathan, the smile on her face brighter than you’d ever seen. You were happy for her. It’s hard to find someone that was truly made for you. Seeing them together was nice until the pang of guilt beat against your chest.

You look to Steve with a grim face but were surprised to see him smiling in their direction.

“I didn’t expect you to be this okay about it.” You confess softly and he chuckles.

“Nancy and I ended ages ago. We just didn’t know it.”

“I’m sorry.” You say and he furrows his brows, “If I had any part in tearing you and Nancy apart, I never meant to-”

“Woah, woah, no. You didn’t do anything.” He shakes his head, pushing off from the wall to stand in front of you. You never expected him to be tall for some reason. “Actually, the only thing you did was give us some clarity. Hell, if you weren’t there, I would never have actually realised what an asshole I was.”

“You were a bit of an asshole.” You laugh when he pretends to be offended.

“Wait.” He looks back to the couple across the room, pointing an accusing finger at you, “Jonathan’s here.”

“Yes, I do believe the guy holding the camera is Jonathan Byers.” You shake your head at him.

“So why did you tell me you wouldn’t have anyone else here to talk to?”

“I wanted to see if I could actually convince you to chaperone a middle school dance.” You smirk, nudging his shoulder. “Turns out the pout still works.”

“Cruel. You are cruel.” He says, unable to hide the smile in his face. “And that pout never worked on me.”

“Liar.” You accuse with a breathy laugh. He starts to object but you cut him off. “I seem to remember it working every single time, actually.”

“Oh, really? Name one time.” He waved his hand, waiting. You stand and ponder for a minute. “See? I told you, it’s never-”

“You snuck into the cinema with me when I didn’t want to go alone, you ended up joining an art class you hated to keep me company, you drove me wherever I wanted and I even convinced you to wear matching jumpers that one time.” You take a breath, looking at him, “Shall I go on?”

“So it worked a couple of times.” He winced and you smile. “They were pretty fun times.”

“God, you make it sound like we’re so old.” You shudder, leaning against the table.

“We are so old, though.” He sighed, rubbing his face, “We graduate soon, that’s scary.”

“Oh god, don’t remind me.” You grimace, “Doubt I’ll even graduate.”

“Like hell you won’t.” He snorts before noticing the stress on your face, “Hey, you’re going to graduate.”

“I’ve missed so many classes, I- I’ve spent the majority of my time fighting off monsters that shouldn’t even exist and when I don’t, I just distract myself because none of that shit ever leaves me-”

You stop your rant, fully aware that if you went on, you’d be admitting to your visions. Steve already went through a lot this year, you weren’t about to shove all of your problems onto him.

“I get it.” Steve smiles sadly and you look back up to him. He had walked over to the table, scanning the food.

“You do?”

“Yeah. I mean, I can’t imagine all the shit you went through last year. I wasn’t there until the very end but…” He takes a breath, forcing his eyes to meet yours, “When I finally found out what happened to Barb. I just- I can’t imagine being home anymore. I mean, I hated it there before but now it’s just… someone died in my backyard.”

Your breath hitches and you instinctively grab his hand, squeezing it.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Maybe…” You purse your lips, trying to think of any solution, “Maybe you can stay over tonight? Jack’s working until the morning again and I don’t particularly want to be alone. Especially after today.”

You laugh faintly at the last part but Steve frowns.

“What happened today?”

You whip your head up. Fuck. “Uh, nothing. I just… I’m just not feeling like staying in my house all by myself.”

Steve squeezes your hand and you realise you had forgotten you were holding his.

“Anyway… we could have a movie night? Just like old times.” You suggest and his eyes light up.

“I would love that.”

You smile before something catches your eye. The song choices had slowed down which meant slow dancing was covering the gym floor. You notice Max and Lucas together and you smile a little. Your eyes drift to El and Mike and then to Will with a girl you didn’t know. You searched for Dustin and his mystery date when you see him sat on the bleachers, head down.

“Oh no.” You mutter and Steve looks in that direction, breath hitching. “Should I-”

Before you could say anything, Nancy crosses the room, offering a hand to Dustin. You couldn’t stop the grin spreading across your face.

“Never mind.” You smile proudly as you watch Nancy pull Dustin to the dance floor. Even with all the hate and the tears, you could never be truly upset with Nancy Wheeler.

Steve clears his throat and you turn, not expecting his hand to be held out to you with a soft smile.

“Care to dance?”

You couldn’t stop the giddy smile on your face as you took his hand. “Would be my pleasure.”

‘Every Breath You Take’ echoed, bouncing of the walls as you swayed to the music with none other than Steve Harrington. The boy you first met when you caught his basketball after throwing a terrible shot, quickly sparking a friendship. The friend who always made you laugh, causing small little butterflies in your stomach whenever his skin brushed against yours. The jock who dumped you for Tommy and Carol when they had claimed you were ‘toxic material’, leaving you with nothing but tears. The guy who saved your life, making you question your hatred. The best friend who did everything in his power to make up lost years.

You were dancing with Steve Harrington and you were happy.

Your arms rested comfortably around his neck as his hands lay gently around your waist, allowing you to move with eachother as the song played. You smiled into his shoulder just as you turned to face the exit doors, something through the glass catching your eye. A flash of dark leather jacket and wild hair. Your breath hitched.

You pulled away from Steve just as the song came to a close and he smiled down to you.

“Do you want something to drink?” He asks you while you still glance at the door.

“Huh?” You shift your gaze to his, ignoring the flutter in your stomach. “Oh, yeah. Please. I, uh… I need to get some air but I’ll meet you back at the table?”

“Sure.” He walks away without much argument and you sigh, heading over to the other side of the gym.

Pushing open the door, you step out into the cold air, breeze hitting your bare skin. It would have caused a reaction if you weren’t still so flushed from the dance.

Eyeing the reason you wanted to come outside, you step down, tilting your head and willing the word to leave your mouth.

“Eddie?”

He quickly spun around despite how quiet your voice was. The music from the gym was blaring behind you as you took another step.

“H-hey.” He smiles, glancing down at your outfit before meeting your eyes again.

“Hi.” You breathe, your chest tightening as you realise how much you missed seeing the dimples in his face. “What, uh… what are you doing here?”

Eddie watched as you gestured to the building before letting out a cough, bringing himself back to focus. “Right. Yeah, I remembered that you were volunteering so…”

“So?” You wonder out loud, fiddling with your dress.

Wordlessly, he shifts himself to face you fully, bringing his left arm forward to reveal your Walkman. There’s a pang in your chest at the sight of your tape player.

“You left it at mine.” He clears his throat again, extending his arm to bring the object closer to you, “I figured stealing it wouldn’t be very chivalrous of me.”

“Yeah, I heard it’s frowned upon.” You laugh softly, walking closer and gently taking it from his hand, “Thank you. You didn’t have to come all the way out here.”

“I- I wanted to. It’s no big deal.” He shrugged as if he truly meant it. He stared at you a little longer and you wonder why. Was he waiting for something?

“Oh.” You suddenly speak, remembering. He furrows his brows at you. “I… I don’t have your necklace with me right now.”

You notice how his face falls slightly and you worry that you’ve somehow ruined his entire night by not returning the guitar pick.

“No, no, you don’t have to-” He tries but you’re way too deep in panic and guilt to stop talking at 100 miles per hour.

“No, I have it at home. Maybe I can just drive back and-”

“Y/n.”

“It’s not very far anyway, my uncle gave me a car so it won’t take very long-”

“Y/n!” Eddie placed both hands on your shoulders and you snapped your mouth shut. You didn’t even noticed he had closed the distance between you. He let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. “It’s okay. It was a gift, it’s… it’s yours.”

“Are you sure?” Your voice was barely a whisper now, still reeling from the fact that you were staring into his chocolate brown eyes for the first time since you broke up.

“I have the ring you gave me.” He brought his hand down to show the familiar ring on his right hand but you quickly shook your head.

“If there is a single thought in your mind that I don’t want you to have that, then you’re mad.” You declare and he laughed in surprise, stepping away.

“Good. I was kind of getting used to it.” He smirked before his head tilted towards the doors you had pushed through earlier. His eye seemed to have caught something.

You glance back to see Steve talking with Dustin while holding two drinks in his hand. You smiled slightly at the sight. Steve tried his best to look interested but you could tell you needed to save him from one of Dustin’s rants.

“You seem happier.”

Eddie’s words brought you back to him. He lowered his head and you tried your best to smile.

“I suppose so.” You shrug, wrapping your arms around your torso for warmth since the cold was finally hitting you. “I guess I am. I finally got to reconnect with my best friend.”

He chuckles softly at your confession, looking back up to you as he scuffed his trainer against the concrete.

“I should probably let you get back inside. Hero-duties and all.” He smirked and your face lit up when he referenced one of your inside jokes.

“Thank you again.” You say, waving your hand currently holding the Walkman and trying to urge yourself to say what you really wanted. “I’ve missed… my Walkman.”

You mentally slap yourself.

“You’re welcome.” He nods shyly, turning around and stuffing his hands into his pockets.

You assume he’s finished the conversation and you regrettably walk back up the steps, reaching out for the door handle. It was going to be hard but you knew you had to move on.

“Hey, Y/n.” Eddie calls out and you whip your head back to him, mentally capturing a picture of the infamous grin laying on his lips. “Merry Christmas.”

“You too, Eds.” You smile, pulling open the door and finally stepping away from the past.

“Okay.” You sigh, looking at the current display of the living room.

You and Steve had started on turning the living room into a movie room like you used to, setting up the spare mattress on the floor and positioning it against the couch so you had something to rest your backs on.

When it came to pillows and blankets, you had had just chaotically thrown them everywhere. You had both lost energy after the dance so the fact that you had set all of this up was a major achievement.

You place your hands on your hips, grateful to have changed into something comfier. “So now you just put the popcorn between us while I grab the drinks.”

“You may have to grab the popcorn.” Steve mumbles and you turn to see him holding an empty bowl, pieces of popcorn still shoved in his mouth.

“I-” You take a breath, walking over and grabbing the bowl from his hands, “I have no words.”

He laughs as you walk away to the kitchen, currently moving to put Monty Python into the TV while you sort out the snack situation.

You fill up the bowl, sliding the drinks over and moving to head out of the kitchen before you notice the empty pizza boxes laying by the back door from earlier.

Dumping the snacks back onto the counter, you grab the boxes and slip out of the back door.

As you walk towards the trash cans, a taunting shiver strikes your spine, goosebumps prickling your skin. Turning to the sky, you freeze in your place. A flash of red light revealed a shadow.

It went as quickly as it appeared yet you couldn’t take your eyes off the clouds.

“You should really rethink leaving this popcorn out in plain sight.” Steve chuckles as leans against the door, the bowl in his hands. He straightens as soon as you don’t respond. “You okay?”

He looks to the sky just as you are, frowning. “Did you see something?”

You finally tear your eyes away. “Um…”

“Y/n?”

Once the both of you made your way back inside, Steve insisted you tell him everything. Not because he wanted to know, but because he wanted to help you.

It didn’t take much for you to spill everything, to describe your nightmares, how you swore you could hear the demo-dogs. You finally told him about the black dust, how none of it made any sense.

“But if you knew about the black dust, why didn’t you say something?” Steve’s worried eyes stared into yours, the noise from the comedy on the tv long forgotten now, “You could have died when we-”

“I couldn’t risk it.” You whisper and turns his head. “Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same.”

“That’s different.” He sighs, shaking his head.

“How? How is that any different-”

“Because it’s you!” Steve cries, holding your arms, “You don’t deserve any of this, Y/n. You- you’ve never done anything wrong.”

You stay quiet, a tear finally dropping from your eye. You had decided a long time ago that you would never tell anyone about Lillian. They all thought too highly of you.

“Just-” He sighs again, running a hand through his hair. “Just let me know when one of these… visions or something show up again.”

When you don’t respond, he leans forward until your foreheads touch and the action makes you laugh.

“Swear it.” He says in a robotic voice, making you laugh harder.

“Okay, okay. I swear.” You giggle and he pulls you into a hug.

“Good.” His voice muffled into your hair before he finally lets go. “Now, I’m gonna make more popcorn.”

He stands up and you let out a gasp.

“How did you even finish it?” You were dumbstruck. You could have sworn he hadn’t laid a finger on the bowl since you came back inside.

“I work in mysterious ways.” Steve taunts as he disappears into the kitchen.

You shake your head in amusement, reaching to grab the controller. Your arm stiffens.

You’ve had a lot of cold shivers but this one was definitely the worst. As you struggled to move, a breath leaves your lips and fogs the air. You start to feel light-headed as you shook and you instantly fear what you might find when you turn your head.

When your eyes find your reflection in the TV, you go cold.

Your eyes are black.

“It’s not over yet, Y/n”

[Raining Hellfire will return for Season Three]

Season Three ->

taglist: @gnnnne / @beepisbeep / @paintballkid711/ @eddiesbirdie/ @livasaurasrex/ @darktimelegends / @jackierose902109 / @mvrylee / @chervbs/ @eternallyvenus

#stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things reader insert #eddie munson #eddie munson x female reader #fanfic #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson #eddie munson x reader #lucas sinclair #mike wheeler #will byers #max mayfield #billy hargrove #steve harrington #st2 #steve harrington x reader #steve x reader

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