#grief stuff

[seeminglydark]

six years gone today, but people keep telling me you'd be proud, and i like to think thats true. bitter sweet. thanks for everything.

for putting me in the car as a little kid while a small bear chased you around our camp site cuz for some reason you were holding onto the cooler.

for selling me your truck and mini camper for 10 bucks when my life fell apart and i needed a place to live and playing it off like you just needed a new truck, which for the record, you didnt even get.

for insisting to drive the ten hours to help me when we thought my appendix burst and you didnt want me to be alone after surgery even though you'd broken your lower vertebra and sitting that long would have been torture, im glad you didnt end up having too but knowing you would have was a lot.

for taking the phone after my mom scolded me for 'running away' at 23 when i got out of an abusive relationship and took off the other other side of the country and telling me in a sing song voice 'youre in troubbbblleeee' but i could tell you were actually really proud of me for getting on that bus after not even being able to walk into a walmart by myself for most of my life.

for letting me help you when things got too hard, as long as i pretended you were teaching me how to change the tires cuz i knew you didnt have the strength to do it.

for giving me your iconic smile and walk even though my mom still gets startled when she sees me sometimes. i dont mind seeing a little bit of you when i look in the mirror, more so these days.

for teaching me love and compassion and hope no matter what

you inspired me to live my life my way. RIP Kip (1946-2017) thanks for everything, Dad.

#grief stuff #miss you every day #last grief post of the year #til next year #miss you forever #authors notes #rj rambles

[myflagmeansace]

on a personal note, my mom loved bunnies

since she passed away last year, i've seen so many real-life bunnies in the most random places, enough for me to take it as a sign

so to see the bunny in the OFMD S2 trailer is blowing my mind

i'm not sure what will happen to Ed's bunny but I just think it's very special and sweet that it's there 💜

#personal #grief stuff #she would have loved to have seen ed with a bunny #she thought the snake scene from s1 was hilarious because she hated snakes too #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd #bunnies

[bibuddie]

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so i’ve felt off all day. not good, not bad, just off. i wasn’t sure why, and then my aunt posted on facebook, and it turns out its been a year since my nanna’s funeral. and like, look. i’ve been grieving people for a long time, and i know grieving doesn’t make me special at all but god do i feel it today. like i’m so angry it feels like i’m about to itch out of my skin and i’m so sad all of my body is tingling and i want to cry but i physically can’t and i just. grief is a fucking beast and i feel so much of it today and. yeah. i miss my nanna and i miss my mam and i miss my dad. and i’ve lost so much already and that’s…really horrific and really tough to bare a lot of the time. like normally on a day like today i’d turn to my mam. but she’s been dead four and a half years. and if it wasn’t my mam i’d have a cup of tea with my nanna, but it’s her i’m mourning. and it’s almost midnight and i just feel. so much. and i know this will pass i’ve been doing it long enough to know it will but it hurts right now, idk.

#rebecca rambles #grief stuff #anyways. apologies.

[liamlawsonlesbian]

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#ive been having a lot of big thoughts lately about my career/life trajectory and different choices i could make #and it just makes me want my mom #like…who knows if her advice would be right #or if i would be asking her advice at all #i have no way of knowing what my relationship with her would be like as an adult #but the fucked thing about grief is that i have this voice in my head #telling me that if i could just talk to my mom she would fix it #and i just want her here #im sick of everything happening without her #grief stuff #tw mom stuff #personal

[weirdwillowtree]

Tw: death of nex Benedict. This is my memorial post. I made a collage for nex.

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I made a collage for Nex. Though I didn't know them personally, their death hits especially hard as a non-binary person living in Oklahoma and a fellow choctaw. It especially hits close to home knowing that could be me and in a lot of ways I was nex. I was the young trans autistic person being bullied in my high-school years for existing as who I am. I was pushed to the point of thoughts of death multiple times due to how bad the bullying had gotten. Nobody deserves this. Nobody deserves to be bullied and hurt for existing as who they are. This hurts me . It hurts our community. This can not continue on. There have been too many young people who are bullied and hurt for being lgbtq and it is heartbreaking. My heart and condolences go out to the family and all who are struggling with grief from the loss of their wonderful soul. May all the family and loved ones and those who are hurt by their death be comforted and supported during this time by the community that stands together and fights together. I'm here, and I'm queer and I love you all. Please know you are never alone and there is always help and support if you just reach out and ask. it can be scary but may very well be the best thing you could do for yourself and you deserve the help and support if you need it. My inbox is open if anyone needs to talk.

#mental health #mentalheathawareness #nex benedict #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #lgbt pride #grief #grief stuff #choctaw #sad #queer community #community #memorial #collage art #transgender #trans #nonbinary #non-binary #nex

[fangirling-throughlife]

I don't know if I've ever mentioned anything about this, but here it goes.

2 years and almost 2 months ago, a dear friend from my high school days passed away at 29. He was the pianist in my first ever legit piano trio in the conservatory. He was in uni while the other two of us were still in high school. We were the weirdest ever group. He was older, so he had a car and went to concerts, and he could play a great Beethoven and then a mainstream pop song. I was getting out there after my grandmother passed away and my mum (who's not a musician) encouraged me to listen to pop music kids my age enjoyed, and even arranged for me to go to meet the boyband I got into. I had modern interests like Eurovision with very specific people, one of them being the pianist in our group. The violinist had a very strict teacher, and strict parents, so she was less into mainstream and focused on classical music, but she inevitably got carried away by the two of us. Pair that with a teacher who just enjoyed that we were creative and proactive, and had very good chemistry, and we had a blast for a good year.

In 2018, our pianist called us to play at his aunt's wedding. One of the songs we played was Taylor Swift, because he was a massive fan. By that time, I liked Taylor, I knew all of her most famous songs, and I'd just spent months singing "Look what you made me do" (I had my reasons that aren't relevant here). He picked me up at home, and we spent the full ride talking about how talented she is, and what our favourite songs of hers were.

The only thing I can remember playing at the funeral is "august". And the only reason I remember it, is because someone in his family (cannot remember who) said that he loved Taylor so much (as if I didn't know that before) and that he adored that song, and that it would fit in a service. I also remember because I've been unable to listen to it for 2 years, because I start crying as my mind takes me back there.

Since then, all of the major release dates have been bittersweet for me. I think that, with the re-recordings, I figured he was just missing the new versions, and a couple of songs that matched the vibe. I really struggled the week Midnights was released, though, and I still think how fucking unfair it is that there's a whole album he'll never hear. But for some reason, 1989 hurt just as much. I'm not sure if it was because I was very obsessed with Wildest Dreams when we had that fangirling moment, but the moment it started playing, I lost it. And since I was already losing it, when the From the Vault songs started, there was no going back anymore.

As corny as it sounds, this is one of the cases where I really really hope there's a heaven where they can see and hear us, because it destroys my soul to think that the guy who made a "Love Story" arrangement to play because he knew the song so well that he found every single mistake in any online version, is missing all of this.

#life stuff #grief stuff #taylor swift #1989 #1989 taylor's version

[neuvowebtech]

#grief #grief support #health #grief stuff

[shallowseeker]

Grief is incredibly odd.

You see, a very irrational part of Dean's brain sees that when Cas smote Belphagor, he killed Jack.

He made it real.

#spn parenting #on grieving #spn 15x03 #Cas is not allowed to do that #Dean expects him to save Jack even now #it’s messy #it's confusing #and it makes no sense #dean/cas + trial separation #dean/cas #jack & dean #dean stuff #grief stuff #cas stuff #jack stuff #tfw deaths #jack & cas #jack & dean & cas #dean + grief #cas + grief #dean/cas + martial dyad #shal meta #spn belphegor

[seeminglydark]

oh. you rode a horse called smokey across the plains of my mind just now and the tears sprang up. i think you'd like this new thing i made.

#grief stuff #comes in waves short and heavy and then its gone again for a little while #but i talk to you here sometimes #even though i just hear your answering machine. leave me a message. #see you space cowboy #rj rambles #personal

[kimbaike]

this year's seasonal sadness started about 10 months early cause about 15 hours into the new year i realised this will be ten years since mum passed away

and now every few days i think of it and have to try not to cry

i think of how i turn 30 this year and she didn't make it to 60 even though by god she tried with all the fire inside her

i think of how i want to start a family soon and she won't be here in person to be a grandmother (for the third time) like she deserved

i think of everything i want to share with her and will want to share with her for the rest of my life and i can't

it doesn't feel like that long and yet it's that long and still so many more decades to go

i've been remembering her for a third of my life so far how is that fair

and on top of all this i realised a while ago that unless i listen to a video to remind myself i've nearly forgotten her voice and that kills me

i just miss her so much

#personal #vent #grief stuff

[bibuddie]

oof the emotions have been hitting today out of nowhere 🤡 grief is no joke fellas

#rebecca rambles #grief stuff #i’ve just been exhausted and emotional about everything like i was literally stood in the shower and started sobbing out of nowhere #i’m also due my period but i am beginning to acknowledge i have a lot of Big Emotions going on rn

[bobafett51]

I recently had a life altering conversation with my friend who is losing their battle against a rare medical condition. They told me that they knew their time was short. But nothing will stop them from living life to its fullest by loving the people they’re close to, the people they love most. To them, their life is complete and fulfilled, even at such a young age, because they love, they never stopped sharing that love, are never going to stop sharing that love, and even after they pass will never stop sharing that love with those they love most. A life is fulfilled through loving others, especially those that we love most. Please, tell the people you love most how much you love them. Mortal life is frail and short, but love is strong and eternal. Like my friend, I aim to always share my love with the people I love most. If you only do one thing today, express your love to someone. If you do, you will have had a fulfilled day.

#tw grief #love #i love you #i love them #i love her #i love him #platonic love #life #peace #inner peace #grief #dealing with grief #grieving #grief journal #grief/mourning #grief stuff #grief poetry #coping with grief #griefandloss #loss #words of wisdom #wisdom #wise words #wise quotes #wise and wisdom #family #friendship #self love #peace and love #peaceful

[liamlawsonlesbian]

☂️💜⭐️ !!

from here

☂️: ooo, so many fics I love, inside and outside this fandom…I will name two, that to keep it brief — (1) the confession scene from sunflower seeds by leaf @ocontraire will just pop into my head sometimes, that fic is so delicate and beautiful, (2) leave no space by val @drivestraight from the objects in mirror series is how I ended up getting interested in Charles, ergo why I’m here (also it’s just a perfect fic)

💜 : short, neurotic, caring, passionate, tired

⭐️: my mom died when I was almost 18, and I moved to New York from California for college like three months later, and I’m really proud of myself for making it through college….it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t always healthy lol but I graduated and made some of the greatest friends along the way

#thank you for asking <333 #ask games #tw mom stuff #grief stuff

[weirdwillowtree]

Trigger warning for grief!

My favorite from my art and poetry insta willow_heals

#writing #spilled thoughts #poem #grief #writers #art #sad #grief stuff #poetry #life #poets on tumblr #sad poem #love #sad art #sad poetry #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #writeblr

[lightamp]

my mom was telling me as a child i wanted to take two hour baths, that i never wanted to leave and wanted one every night

and the thing is i remember the huge bucket of bath toys i had. i remember liking baths. but i have no memory of them being that long.

before today, i wouldve said i liked baths well enough as a child, that i liked to play in the bath, but was not particularly noteworthy.

but when talking my mom and grandma were both able to remember that i was noteworthy for how much i did like baths as a kid and that they thought it, while not bad, but abnormal compared to other children in the family

it was strange, because now bathing is pretty much impossible without a specialized tub. even showers- done in a shower chair- are so tiring that it isnt nice and i try to make them quick as i can.

memory is funny. my feelings now leak into my memories of the past. i dont remember enjoying baths that much. i barely remember being able to bathe. but it was a fun anecdote for my family.

#there's no point to this really. #but well. with the recent death ive been dealing with #i realize once again that some of what you know about yourself can only be seen through others #and eventually that ends #grief stuff

[somnimagus]

My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.

[id in alt text]

#legend of zelda #loz #twilight princess #loz tp #i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it #it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy #but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble: #i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way #to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present #link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face #and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up #you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way #the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually? #fan art #my art #project stuff #and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!! #especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them #a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt #i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time