#get pissed because of all the truth I’m saying. go ahead. I’m pissed too.

[venting-town]

The stupid-ass voices are getting pissy with me ( as per usual ) because how DARE I be a bitch back to them

Oh the horror!!!

Fuck you bastards too

#vent #tw vent #vent 7/15/22 #tw voices #I’m so sick of these stupid-ass pissy voices in my head #and me CONSTANTLY having to apologize to them over and over and over and over again #because I hurt their dumbass feelings #and if I don’t they’re gonna make my body overreact #or have stupid fucking bullshit happen to me until I submit again #man existence sure is great!!! ( /sarcasm because NO THE FUCK ITS NOT. NOT when there’s all this bullshittery going on!! because it HAS to #because * THINGS * and * STUFF * or lack thereof or a mix or whatever. because * BORED * and * FUN *!!! ) #FUCK existence and FUCK the beings that decided this shit should be!!! and FUCK ME TOO!!! ugly spineless pathetic little bitch #dude there’s so much wrong with me 😂 #a 30 second look through my blog and you’ll think ‘ damn this bitch is crazy!’ #you’re not wrong. and there’s a LOT more to it than this blog and the posts have to say about it #good GOD this is so fucking dumb. fuck this #stupid-ass bullshit. yeah! go ahead and make me numb like the little bitch(es) you are!!! like you weren’t going to regardless #get pissed because of all the truth I’m saying. go ahead. I’m pissed too. #and you’re not gonna get away from this scot-free anyways. I’ll retard you up just like I’ve done to everyone else #REGARDLESS of how much power ( or lack thereof or whatever ) you have ( OR that I have ) #regardless of how bold your sorry-ass gets/is ( along with mine too! ) #tw r slur #tw r word #r word mention #r slur tw #r slur mention #this is so fucking stupid I fucking hate it and the damned stupid/annoying voices in my head AND myself

[heavyhitterheaux]

NDA Part 2

AN: Jackman has some explaining to do. Okay let's gooooo 😘

Synopsis: After learning that your future husband has been lying to you for the duration of your relationship, you have a decision to make.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Please do not repost my content anywhere

Read part 1 first

You were taken aback and suddenly confused.

This had to be some sort of prank.

"I'm sorry, come again?"

"Jack is married to me and I knew that there was someone else. And look at that, I was right. Can we talk?"

You simply nodded as you looked at the big ass ring on her left hand.

Princess cut.

You then invited her into the suite and led her over to the living room area. You sat across from her as she began to speak still in disbelief of what was currently happening. 

"How long has he been seeing you?"

"Almost a year and six months."

She nodded before gathering her thoughts on what she wanted to say next.

"Y/N, you seem like a really sweet girl and.... Jack did was he does best. He's a sweet talker. He knows the right things to say in order for you to think that it's just you and him forever. That's what he told you right?"

"Um, more or less."

What was she getting at?

"We've been married for four years and have two boys together. I never thought for a second that he would step out on me, but he did. You weren't the first and you probably won't be the last."

"Why did you stay?"

"Because I literally depend on him for everything. I didn't go to college, have no skills, I barely finished high school. What am I going to do as a single mother of two young boys?"

You almost felt bad for her.

Almost.

But, he was yours.

He loved you.

He wouldn't have hidden this from you..

Right?

"But if he's married to you, how is he supposed to get married to me?" You curiously asked.

"After everything I just told you, you still want him?"

Just then the door opened and both of you looked up to see it was the man of the hour.

"Hey baby girl, did you...."

He got quiet as he saw both of you.

"Jack... I think you have some explaining to do." You calmly said before getting up and walking towards him.

He now looked pissed off and all of his anger was directed towards Ava.

"What did her lying ass tell you?"

"Oh please, I told her the truth. We're married and have two boys together."

"AVA! We are in the middle of a divorce because you cheated on me and my so called kids aren't even mine!"

"Yes they are!"

"So the DNA test lied then?!"

"Jack, please don't do this."

"Don't do what? I have literally signed over everything to you because I don't want anything to do with you anymore and want you out of my life for good! You're mad because I finally found the person that I want to be with and it isn't you! You messed up our marriage Ava, not me."

"We can fix it!"

"Do you hear yourself right now? Like really hear yourself? I don't want you, I don't want anything to do with you, and you need to leave me and my future wife alone. See your way out now. You've done enough."

Ava simply grabbed her purse and walked over to you.

"Y/N, you're too good for him. Let me know if you ever want to talk."

She gave you her number and walked out without another word with Jack literally slamming the door behind her.

You didn't know what to think.

Did you believe Ava or did you believe Jack?

I mean Jack has been lying this entire time hiding secret families and shit and Ava... well you couldn't quite read her very well and besides you only met the girl minutes ago.

You were now back sitting on the couch when Jack came up and sat next to you.

You instantly moved away from him.

Feeling nothing but hurt and betrayal.

You never thought in a million years that this man would lie to you and hide that he was in fact married.

"Baby, please. Let me explain."

"You lied to me." You quietly spoke as you stared straight ahead. 

"I... I know and I'm sorry but I had to in order for her crazy ass not to come after you. I don't even know how she found out about you in the first place! Y/N, I love you. You know that and I would never do something intentionally to hurt you."

"I can't do this right now."

"Come on, don't let her ruin us. She means absolutely nothing to me. As soon as the divorce is finalized we can get married. That's why it's taking me so long to marry you."

"And her kids aren't yours?"

"Babe, her kids aren’t mine. Besides I got a DNA test just so I could have proof. When they were born, I knew they weren't mine."

"I need to be myself right now. I have a lot to think about."

"Stink, come on. This is really the only time I'll get to spend with you for the next few weeks."

"Jack.... I'm pregnant and I don't want my child born into this hot mess express."

"Wait, what? You are!?!?"

"Yeah and I was excited about it until thirty minutes ago."

"We can do this mamas. I promise to take care of the both of you. I take care of you and you want for nothing. We can finally start our life together that we want."

"Jack... get out and don't call me again until the divorce is finalized. Pregnant with your child or not."

----

The next few months were a blur.

You didn't completely cut off contact with Jack even though you wanted to.

He is the father of your child after all.

If you thought you got a lot of gifts before, he was now taking it to a new level.

You were running out of space in your condo to put everything.

You were getting something every single week for you and your unborn child.

He kept the gifts gender neutral since you wanted it to be a surprise when they were born.

You and Jack didn't exactly break up, but you weren't necessarily together either and it just felt like a weird space at the moment.

Jack didn't miss any doctor's appointments even if they had to be through FaceTime. He made sure to be with you as much as he could even if it was awkward at times. 

He was doing more appearances in order to have more money for you and your little one.

You had to give him credit, he was trying but you couldn't get past the fact that he lied about something as important as being married and going through a divorce.

You were an understanding person and always have been. You always kept it 100 with everyone else and wanted that same thing in return.

Especially with something as big as this. 

You were currently eating cherries on the long couch in the living room when a FaceTime call was coming through and you already knew who it was. You rolled your eyes before answering, not really being in the mood to talk to anyone. 

You clicked accept and his face appeared wearing a smile.

"Hey baby girl, how are you feeling today? How's my little one?"

"Hey, just a bit tired and they're okay. But nothing I can't handle."

"I wanted to call you to tell you that the divorce was finalized today."

Jack held up the paper to show me and sure enough it was true.

Jack was no longer married to Ava.

But you weren't quite sure if you wanted to be married to Jack either.

You never thought in a million years that would be the case. 

You simply nodded your head and went back to eating your cherries.

"I thought you would be a little more excited baby."

"I just.. Jack you made me feel like you didn't trust me and that really hurt."

"Never that mamas. I apologize that I made you feel that way. I do trust you, I just... I didn't want you to leave me if you found out. I admit that was stupid on my part but Y/N, I cannot live without you being in my life. From the moment we met I knew you were my wife."

"Is that the same thing you told Ava?"

Jack simply sighed. He knew he was going to have to put in a lot of work for you to forgive him and move on from this.

"I thought she was the one, I admit. But when she cheated everything just went downhill. She didn't show her true colors until after we were married and then I came to the conclusion that she was bat shit crazy and only wanted me for my money."

"I'm sorry she did that to you because you definitely didn't deserve it."

Jack was the type of person to make sure that everyone around him was good and had everything they needed.

The only thing is that people tend to take advantage of that.

And that’s what she had did. 

"When is your next appointment? I'll be back in L.A. in like two weeks I think. I don't like you being that far away from me."

"It's actually in two weeks. I know you don't, but I need time."

"Is moving in with me still on the table?"

You had thought long and hard about it and you wanted your baby to have both of their parents under the same roof.

"Yeah, I guess."

You simply shrugged.

You missed him, but you just didn't know anymore.

"Baby, I'm trying. I really am. I'll make this up to you anyway I can. Anything you need or want just tell me."

"I know you are, I appreciate the effort."

"Do you still want to marry me?"

You took a few seconds to answer and he got nervous.

"Yes, eventually."

“Well, how much longer?”

“Jack, I don’t know. Like do you know how royally fucked up what you did was?”

“Yes but..”

“Okay, then. I’m going to need for you to stop rushing me and let me do this in my own time. I love you and as much as I want to be mad at you, I just can’t. Just let me go at my own pace and I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

“Okay, I won’t bring it up again.”

Jack stayed on FaceTime with you for a few more minutes before ending the call and going to find Urban. 

He found him conversing with Neelam and he took a seat next to both of them.

“I told your ass that you should’ve been honest with her from the beginning.” Urban said already knowing what the situation was.

“But, yall know how crazy Ava is.”

“We do, but I mean come on Jack you broke her trust.” Neelam was right and he couldn’t argue with that.

“I know I went about it in the wrong way and I honestly think I might have lost her for good.”

“Has she broken up with you?

“No.”

“Has she blocked your number?”

“No.”

“Has she given you any indication that she was going to leave you?”

“No.”

“Okay, then. There’s still a chance for you to make this right.”

“She barely even talks to me anymore unless it has to do with the baby. I thought she would be excited when I told her the divorce was finalized today and she just kinda shrugged it off.”

“Well, do you blame her?”

“Well, no. But that was the whole reason why I couldn’t marry her and now I can.”

“Just give her time. That’s literally all you can do. She’ll come around. I can tell you really do love her because you will talk about her nonstop for hours at a time.” Neelam responded smiling.

“She’s brought out the best in you within this past year and with all that you went through with Ava you definitely deserve it.”

“I deserve it, but I don’t know what I’m going to do if she decides to leave me. She literally means everything to me.”

“Well, do what you need to do to make sure she doesn’t.”

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@charli123456789

#jack harlow #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow angst #jack harlow x you #jack harlow concepts #urban wyatt #jack harlow fic #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow imagine #urban wyatt fic #urban wyatt x black reader #urban wyatt x reader

[mcflymemes]

QUOTES FROM SURVIVOR ON CBS

hey... hold up, bro.

i just always wanted to say that.

that’s the way it sounded to me.

he’s got his head so far up your ass his eyeballs are sticking out of your mouth.

that means you don’t respect me.

it’s fricking nauseating, frustrating... AND I’M PISSED!

i kept having to remind myself “don’t get booty blinded.”

you know, they keep me warm.

i already know this is not for me.

i can’t even keep myself warm! get off of me!

what are you trying to pull? i’m already going home.

it’s a fucking stick!

it has a face on it!

i’ll lie, i don’t care, but i’ll make up a good lie.

i’m just gonna spread truth, lies, and rumors.

that’s probably the most boobs i’ve probably seen in my whole life.

when it comes down to it, i want that million dollars.

i’ll wear a tiara. a man tiara. do they make those?

i don’t forgive, and i don’t forget.

are you really going to eat it? because that would be hot if you ate it.

when it comes down to it, we don’t mix. we’re like chicken parm and tuna fish - it just don’t taste good.

i didn’t know they could frickin’ fly.

as long as it’s not me, i’m happy.

i’m not calling you stupid.

those are the worst looking water shoes i’ve ever seen.

would you agree with that?

you know, whiners are wieners.

you need to go home.

he’s gonna dump me.

that was the most childish act you’ve done so far.

i came back broke, full, half-drunk and pissed off, so i’m gonna burn this house down in the next day or so.

making love is my sport.

you need to get in the ocean and wash your ass.

i’ve never heard anything that surprised me more than what you just said.

somebody call a whambulance!

you may remember me for making men speak llama.

you have like, your normal stomach and your dessert stomach, so your dessert stomach is still hungry.

it’s that kind of cocky attitude that makes people really hate your guts.

i’m against you.

we’re devouring them one at a time.

they won’t. they never do.

we just annihilate them.

i don’t pray for anything.

i brought my bag of tricks tonight.

my second chance is all about family.

you’re garbage at rapping. you can’t rap. you have no bars.

i know i gotta stay here, ‘cause i’m on probation!

like, how do you infiltrate that?

i’m like a phoenix rising from the ashes... ready to burn down your house.

i’m totally using the mom card, are you kidding me?

are we being punk’d?

does anyone want to come marvel at this splendor?

i can get loud too! what the fuck!

i’m gonna burn his hat.

i don’t think you were the mastermind behind it. i don’t think you’re smart enough to do it.

i don’t know... i wasn’t paying attention. i don’t really care.

my grandma’s at home watching jerry springer right now.

you have made my life hell from day one.

he’s a snake and he lies, but he also tells the truth too.

i will always wave my finger in your face.

i hope you guys all get bit by a freaking crocodile.

no, go ahead, you have to say something bad about me.

we’re younger and cuter.

the tribe has spoken.

you give away so much. you don’t even know enough to keep your mouth shut.

you take care of her, i’ll take care of you.

one man should not have this power. luckily, i’m not an ordinary man.

pony ride’s over. you’re welcome for carrying you this far.

au revoir, arrivederci, or, as we like to say in boston... see ya later.

it’s getting the best of me.

fear keeps people loyal. that’s straight out of the godfather.

#memes #rp meme #ask meme #roleplay meme #Ask memes #rp asks #rp musings #rp prompt #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay prompt #writing prompt #Inbox prompts #rp inbox meme #sentence starter prompt #sentence starters #sentence starter #starter meme #survivor #mcflymemes

[a-republican-mind]

Guys, please pray for me as I’m not doing well mentally. A lot of people have stabbed me in the back all because some hater started to say stuff about me. And I’m so tired of being cybered bullied almost every day. Many of you (ex mutuals) believe the half lies that nette and the gang of haters friends says so because of X screenshots (which, btw screenshots can be edited in any way shape or form). Just because the user is girl and a “Christian” that doesn’t mean anything coming out of her month is truthful. And for who believe that I like that post which said “X thing shouldn’t be crime”, I was a victim of X crime when I was 16. A “friend” took advantage of me because she thought I needed to have my first time at that moment. This will be the only time I will mention this, as it doesn’t bring good memories and first time, I publicly spoken about it. Just because the victim is a man doesn't mean it less what I experienced. If you want to believe a crazy psycho man hater says about the world and everything else, go ahead, but don’t be surprised when the police come knocking at your door. I believe some people do want to do some harm towards me but are “wise” not to send me death threats, just hateful messages. But I do have suspect some people who have a shady past will do anything to get rid of me. One sent me my own IP address, that’s the level of scary I’m going through. You don’t believe me? You don’t have an idea how dark the internet can be. Before you believe anything, someone tell you about me, they don’t know the full story. Ask me if something is true before you decide. And for those that wonder, NO! I will not be leaving. That’s why they are still pissed, because if I leave, they win. Sorry if this is too personal for all of you to know but I’m tired of the blocking, bullying, and not getting my side of the story before making a decision. One final note, just because I have autism and lack communication skills doesn't mean I can be discarded easily. I’m trying to communicate, damn it. Just because I lack it doesn’t mean I don’t want to explain it all. Goodnight to y’all.

#sadly not a goodnight #already removed anon to try to stop the hate

[death-and-other-myths]

The Queen of Nothing Deadass Book Review

Okay look, this book has everything. Our main character is an unhinged monster. Her husband was raised by a cat or something. There's snakes. GOD DAMN I LOVE THIS BOOK.

This is an unhinged book review of The Queen of Nothing By Holly Black.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Well the 3rd and final book in this series starts out with a bang, with the prologue painting Cardan’s tragic backstory as a baby taken to meet his father by his shitty, neglectful mom. Baefin, the royal astronomer shows up and decides to ruin everyone’s day by saying, “Hey, the stars say this kid is going to topple your kingdom and you’ll never have another child after him.” — so right out of the gate, everyone hates Cardan. His siblings play with him like a puppy. His Mom is the flakiest asshole. She uses a… cat..?? As a wet nurse?? Like WOW LADY. Both CPS and PETA would like a word with you.

There’s a super sad part when Cardan is older, and Dane is messing with him. They are shooting a walnut off of a mortal’s head, who happens to be Val Moren’s lover. Val Moren was the old High King’s sineschel, and his heart was broken for the rest of his life after his boyfriend got shot with an arrow by these big dumb faerie princes.

Dane offers to switch arrows, so if Cardan messes up and hits the man, everyone will think Dane did it. Cardan says fine, but chickens out when it comes time to shoot. So Dane shoots Cardan’s arrow into the guy’s chest, and tells everyone that Cardan did it. So as punishment, they sent Asha into jail and cultivated Cardan’s reputation of being a heartless asshole. It’s just shit all around. GOD THIS POOR BABY I CAN’T BELIEVE I EVER THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER. HE IS THE SWEET, MESSED UP PRODUCT OF HIS AWFUL FAMILY. AUGH.

Meanwhile, in the mortal world…

Jude is watching Oak play war games with the other 5 year olds and he keeps accidentally glamoring them (so he appears invisible until he attacks). When all of his friends leave, she sneaks up on him and you know, almost chokes him out. Like sisters do!

He’s all upset with her and she’s like “I’m just trying to show you that fighting is real, and it’s serious, and it’s not a game!” and he says he never ever wants to be king, which makes this reader happy.

At night, Jude makes money by doing odd jobs for the local faeries. They apparently can live in the mortal world, usually because they’re in hiding or exile or just because they want to. She meets up with one of the Roach’s old friends, who is a goat man that gives her a job to go talk to a lady named Grima Mog and tell her to quit murdering people.

Grima Mog is part of the “Court of Teeth”, and is a warrior who was banished for one reason or another and is causing a scene in the real world. Jude goes over, tells her to cut it out, and Grima Mog challenges her to a duel on the roof. Jude wins, because she is still a savage badass. And in return, Grima Mog tells her the latest hot goss: That King Cardan is going to be overthrown before the next full moon.

Jude is like cool I don’t care about him. Yep. Totally don’t care about that loser who is also my husband. Fuck him. Ima ride the bus home covered in blood. So she does that.

And when she gets home, Heather is there trying to pluck up the courage to see Vivi again. But moreover, TARYN IS THERE in her flowy pretty dress and Jude is like “Get the fuck out.” (still covered in blood by the way).

Taryn explains that she MURDERED LOCKE. Like not even in self defense or anything. He pissed her off and slept around, so she stabbed him with a LETTER OPENER and THREW HIM IN THE OCEAN so his body washed up a few miles downshore all chewed up, and now she has to go to Faerie court and be glamored to tell the truth. So she’s asking Jude if she’ll pose as her and go in her stead.

Jude can’t really resist the opportunity to get back into Faerie land and slap her husband, so she agrees. Also Taryn drops the bomb that she’s pregnant too. So ... damn. I guess being bloodthirsty maniacs runs in this family. Like whoa.

Alright, Jude goes back to Elfhame pretending to be Taryn. She spends a brief night in Locke’s house where she finds drugs just… everywhere. Gold stuff is smeared on the couches and the servants bring her a faerie apple with dinner, which Jude finds hella weird since that stuff is like heroin to humans. She’s starting to realize Taryn isn’t as innocent as she thought. As if the whole “murdering her husband” thing wasn’t her first clue.

She walks into the courtroom and gives a curtsey, and Cardon goes “…Taryn?”

She’s like “Yes m’lord tis I, sweet lil’ innocent Taryn. Look at me all in my pretty little dress being demure and cooperative.”

Cardon smirks and is like “okaaayyyy. Begin the questioning.”

Jude is standing there thinking “Cardon you dumb fuck I’ve tricked you. You’ve played right into the palm of my hand, you treacherous scum.”

And we as the reader realize it’s pretty fucking obvious that he knows its her. And that he looks elated to see her.

He “glamours” her to only be able to tell the truth and asks her if she killed Locke. Jude says no. So Cardon turns to Nicasia and his Mom (who are also there) and is like “Welp, she didn’t do it. Guess we can all go drink and party and forget this ever happened now. Like we did when Valerian died. Remember how no one seemed to care about that?”

But Jude has to take it a step further and be like “I think the sea had something to do with it.”

Nicasia is pissed. “WHY would the sea start shit if we have a treaty with the land? Also Locke was my friend! If anyone killed him it was probably your horrifying sister. She loves murdering people. She does it like, all the time.”

Lady Asha chimes in like “It’s court gossip that Locke was fooling around with both you and your sister. Maybe she killed him to get revenge because she loved him.”

And Jude (as Taryn) says, “My sister only loves one person, and it’s not Locke.”

Cardan is unable to stifle his glee.

“And she wants that person dead.”

Cardan bristles.

Nicasia says they can’t trust anything “Taryn” says because she could be wearing a charm to resist glamour (implying Jude should strip in front of the court). But Jude can’t do that without revealing herself, since she’s all scarred up and Cardan knows every single one of those scars.

Luckily, our boy is on to this so he’s like “How about I personally inspect her for charms in my quarters. Alone. Away from here. This is totally normal, right?” And the court is like “Right!” So they’re walking to his room. And a servant runs into her with a tray, and slips her a knife and is like “Don’t worry miss Taryn. Your father is coming to save you.” And Jude is like What? Shit. What??

But then she’s alone in Cardan’s room and he is immediately like “Oh my god how are you? Did you get my letters? I wrote you every day but you never replied. Hi.”

And Jude is FLABBERGASTED “You knew it was me?!”

“From the second you walked into the room?? You’re my wife? God, you’re cute.”

She’s still pissed at him though for tricking her, which to us is very obvious to us that it was for her own protection, but Jude thinks he’s awful. She shows him the knife someone gave her and for a moment he’s like… wait… shit… is she going to stab me? She kind of likes making him think she will. But she tells him Maddock is up to something, then there’s a huge explosion. And instead of stabbing Cardan, she goes back to her warrior ways like “Stay here!” Even though he’s shouting at her not to.

Jude takes like 2 steps outside the door and gets knocked out with Faerie chloroform by some of Maddock’s knights.

She wakes up in a carriage with Oriana being carted off to Maddock’s stronghold. And everyone is like “Sorry Taryn! It was just easier to get you out of there if you were… you know… unconscious for 3 days.” (Wtf faerie people??)

So now Jude is STUCK pretending to be Taryn in Maddock’s snowy army headquarters near the Court of Teeth territory. She has to hang out and pretend to like Oriana, her prim and boring stepmother, and convince everyone she’s Taryn or Maddock will literally kill her.

During her time in camp, she meets Grimsen the master forge guy, who likes compliments and young girls (which is hella gross). She flirts with him to learn about his magic weapons and learns he’s making a crazy powerful sword for Maddock to use to take Cardan’s crown.

Jude has an awkward conversation with Maddock where he’s like “I never much cared for Jude. God she’s so annoying. You’re cool though.” He also tells her that when he saved her from the palace, half his knights got murdered in the process. He said the doors shrunk and trapped his men inside, then vines came down from the ceiling and strangled them. Only the ones running with her made it out alive and everyone else got savagely choked to death. So like… Cardan is a badass and can still control the land around him. And clearly he does not take kindly to people kidnapping his wife.

Jude decides she needs to run away before anyone catches on to her, and on her way out, she stops to inspect this cave set far away from the camp. In it, she finds THE GHOST who betrayed her like a little fucking asshole just because his buddy Dane got killed. He tells her his whole sad story. That Dane was like, his friend and ally. He even gave Dane his “true name” (which is a big real. If anyone knows a faerie’s true name, they can command them to do anything). And then somehow Locke got his true name from Dane. And was commanding Ghost to do all these terrible things. Then Locke gave him to Maddock. So Jude is like SIIGHHH God damnit okay I’m getting out of here and taking you with me. I just need to get the key from Grimsen.

She goes BACK to camp, where Oriana is waiting for her like a huge dick. And she’s all like “You’re not Taryn, are you?” But thank god she doesn’t rat her out. Jude tells her why she was masquerading as Taryn, which Oriana totally understands (everyone in their family hated Locke) and the only reason she’s here is because Maddock FAERIE CHLOROFORMED HER.

Oriana agrees to write Vivi to come get Jude if Jude agrees to leave and never fucking come back to Faerie. Jude, being a lying liar, is like “yeah! Totes!”

So Jude goes to bed and plans on waking up before dawn and stealing the key from Grimsen to grab the Ghost and run. But she gets a hand thrown over her mouth in her sleep and elbows her assailant hard. Before she can STAB THEM, the Roach is laughing his ass off like “Jude, come on. It’s us.” And I nearly screamed and fell off the treadmill when she realizes that it’s CARDAN who has his hand over her mouth.

YAYYY!!! Cardan needs more screen time. I was so sad when Jude got kidnapped like god damnit. The high king is there in regular-people clothes. No crown. No gold eyeliner. He tells her that he knew where she was because he went to visit Vivi in the human world, which Jude cannot even picture and neither than I.

She’s like “Wtf did he even WEAR?” She tries to picture him sitting on their beat up couch next to Oak’s half eaten Lucky Charms. So apparently Vivi, Taryn, AND HEATHER are waiting for them in the forest. They bullied their way into the rescue operation by refusing to tell the high king where Jude was unless they could come.

Jude, difficult as usual, is like “Neat. You can’t rescue me yet. I need to free the Ghost from his torture cave first.”

Cardan is like “Can you FOR ONCE just let someone RESCUE you without being DIFFICULT?”

She’s like “No. Help me get this key from Grimsen.”

And he says “Okay.” (Whispers: “I love you so much”)

So the Roach, Jude, and Cardan sneak into Grimsen’s forge to get the key. Jude totally doesn’t notice how good Cardan is at sneaking around, nor how good he looks in those pants.

Before they left, the Roach told Cardan he could come on the dangerous mission if he promised to leave if they got discovered. Cardan is like Oh my god FIIIINE why does everyone make me promise thiiiings. Stupid fucking promise magic.

He also made a promise to Jude that if she returned with him to Elfhame, and told him what she needs to tell him, he’ll un-exile her. So Jude is like HOT DAMN YES.

They break into the forge, get the key, and immediately trip a booby trap. Some darts fly out of the wall and Cardan instinctively protects Jude with his cloak that is basically bulletproof. They look at each other as if they’re surprised at this, because they are having a little fight where they can’t figure out who betrayed who, if at all. GOD THESE KIDS ARE SO STUPID I LOVE THEM.

Well the romantic moment gets ruined because the Roach is down with a dart. Cardan carries him and Jude is like “BRB I GOTTA TELL MY SISTERS TO LEAVE or they’ll get caught” (The knights are scrambling now in response to the alarm). Cardan, who is honor-bound to return to Elfhame is like “Fine. Fuck. Fine. Damnit.” And leaves his woman, who totally does NOT go to her sisters, but runs to the cave to get Locke. AND IN THE CAVE, SHE FINDS MADDOCK WAITING FOR HER.

She’s like “When did you figure out it was me?” and he says “Later than I would have liked.” — apparently it was the way she looked at the BOATS on the MAP in his tent that tipped him off, which is kind of a slight to Taryn more than anything lol

Jude refuses to surrender, and knowing all she has is a dagger, she runs off into the snowy woods and does a halfway decent job of defending herself, but ultimately gets stabbed in the stomach. Maddock is kind of surprised at this too, and he even seems like he’s going to spare her life until an ARROW flies out of nowhere and into his chest. Vivi, Taryn, and GRIMA MOG (not Heather) show up and threaten him. So they let him retreat back to his army.

Jude is like “Ya’ll I don’t feel so good.” And collapses, asking Taryn to stitch her side. While she’s on the ground, she remembers that she is a queen and tries to heal herself with the land… however one does that… but it totally works because it heals up enough. And when she stands up there are flowers everywhere, because that’s a fun side effect of being royal.

Maddock said he sent the Ghost after Cardan, so Jude leaves Grima Mog to protect her sisters and rushes off to the palace to stop “Garret” (his real name!) before he can kill Cardon.

She climbs up in the rafters, which is the Ghost’s favorite killing place, and is watching Cardan and everyone below when the Bomb climbs up in the rafters too, and AIMS AT JUDE. Jude realizes that Maddock tricked her, and sent her there to look like SHE is the one trying to kill Cardan. So she dodges the Bomb’s arrow and FALLS straight onto the banquet table.

There’s this cute part where Jude croaks “I lost your cloak.”

And Cardan is like “You’re a fucking filthy mortal liar.” In front of everyone, which stings. Jude thinks he believes she was trying to assassinate him too. We all know it’s cause he’s pissed she keeps putting herself in danger after promising she won’t.

The court is demanding her death, because they love dinner and a show, and Cardan says “DON’T TOUCH HER. That’s my wife.”

Jude passes out. Wakes up in Cardan’s bed with him being super sweet and tending to her. Passes out some more. Wakes up naked and gross so she takes a bath. Sees her sisters, who are super happy she is alive (I love the sisters, even stupid Taryn).

After they leave, Cardan arrives, which is sweet. Then the Bomb shows up with a medical tray, and says to him “you should leave.”

And he’s like “I’m not leaving. This is my room. And she is MY wife!”

Bomb: “I know, you keep telling EVERYONE. But I need to take our her stitches and you probably don’t want to see that.”

Jude goes “Maybe he wants to stay and watch me scream.”

And Cardan says “Maybe I do. Maybe one day you’ll do that for me.” And touches her head and LEAVES. AHHHHHH!!!!!

Jude gets her stitches out. Later, Cardan comes to fetch her because the Living Council wants to talk to her. But they take a detour to the rose garden for these two stupid idiots to work out their issues. Jude is like “I’M STILL PISSED THAT YOU EXILED ME.”

Cardan: “I wrote you letters?? Every day?? The contents of which were BEGGING YOU TO COME HOME. Also? I very explicitly said that you were banished until pardoned by the crown. You are also the crown. You could have pardoned yourself and come back any time you wanted.”

Jude slaps him lol. Smears his cute gold shit he wears around his cheekbones.

SHE IS PISSED. And again. They are so dumb. But I love them.

Cardan explains that he never thought she was capable of breaking? Or being sad? Or being defeated? In his eyes she’s like this immortal warrior demon that he wants to make love to all day. So he thought he was proposing a fun riddle for her to work out. Like Jude would show up any day now like “Hah! Good trick to make Orla think you were an ally. Let’s conquer the world, babe.” — instead Jude fell into a DEEP depression and ate fish sticks for a few months, all the while Cardan’s shitty MOM was keeping his letters from reaching her.

Jude feels embarrassed and foolish and in typical Jude fashion, does not handle this well.

She goes off on a tangent about how she’s not an immortal warrior demon, she’s SCARED all the time. Scared of this world and of powerlessness and of CARDAN. It’s a cute exchange and sweet things are said, but none of which are explicit. Will you idiots shut up and kiss already??? GAWD.

Jude goes and talks to Lady Asha who is languishing in her bed over the trauma of watching HER fall off the rafters. Jude basically hears this woman talk shit about her son who “was difficult to love” and sasses her something fierce, then leaves.

A knight comes and finds Jude and tells her that Nicasia is in the throne room with a bunch of soldiers. When Jude gets there, Cardan is holding her hand and speaking closely with her (OH SNAP) - but nothing weird is going on. They’re just friends and he’s comforting her because MADDOCK SHOT HER MOM WITH SOME KIND OF MAGIC BULLET. And she’s not dead but is in a coma. So Nicasia has to leave and make sure no one tries to unthrone her mom.

Jude puts two and two together that it was the Ghost that probably shot the sea queen. He’s out there running around being all crazy under Maddock’s control. Jude is interrupted from her council meeting by a messenger saying Taryn needs to meet with her immediately in Hallow Hall (which is weird).

So she gets up to leave but Cardan is like “I’ll come too.” and he looks at her so innocently (but also knowing this annoys her) and off they go TOGETHER in a carriage. There, they find Taryn in Balekin’s gross dungeon with the GHOST who she has trapped in a hole. He tells them it was HE who shot Orla, and we also learn the Ghost’s true name (Larkin Gorm Garrett).

The Ghost tries to kill Cardan, but Taryn uses his name to say “Hey, cut it out. You’re free of any previous orders.” and he’s just like “AUGH THANK GOD.” – Jude hands the Ghost aka Garrett over to the Bomb’s custody, and on the carriage ride back, Cardan is being adorable and asking Taryn about the human world. She tells him about slushies and gummy bears. You know, basic human stuff.

Cardan escorts the Ghost to the Bomb, but never comes to bed that night. Which makes Jude sad.

The next day, Randalin bursts in on Jude, and is like “Your dad is such a dick! And he’s being a dick because you’re the queen. Step down and make this easier on all of us.”

And Jude says “No, fuck you.”

And Cardan comes in and in the most elegant, royal way possible, drags his advisor into another room to threaten his life for insulting Jude. It’s very cute.

But Ranndal makes a good point. The lower courts are starting to assemble at the palace because word on the street is that Maddock is going to challenge Cardan to a duel for the crown, and they are either here to show their support or usher in a new king. It’s all very shaky right now.

But in true Faerie fashion, they’re like “Let’s throw a party to celebrate everyone coming into town!”

Jude wears a gold dress with like… battle-esque looking leather shoulder pads and chain-mail lookin accents. She looks like a badass, and this is made even better when Cardan gives a toast at the party that is like “Welcome everyone. To you I offer my honey and wine and to any traitors or oath breakers, I offer you my queen’s hospitality instead. The hospitality of knives.” and everyone is like hahahaha cheers (Jude included)-- meanwhile she’s sipping her cup like “Hah yes it’s true, I will murder you all without batting a eyelash.”

Heather and Vivi are also there with Oak and having a good time considering they have some stupid deal where when they go back to the human world, they’re going to break up and Vivi will erase Heather’s memory. It’s even sadder because Heather seems to be regretting it and Vivi seems to be all about it. Jude is like… when I’m done with this whole “murdering my cat dad before he can murder my king husband” thing, this is next on the list.

OKAY.

OKAY….

So like… after the party…

Jude and Cardan go back to their bedroom, and this is the cutest fucking scene. They start making out and it’s getting super steamy up in there– Cardan picks her up against the wall, and the second she shows any sort of hesitation, he’s like “Okay we don’t have to.” (So sweet) But Jude is like no no, I’m cool. One sec. And she steps into her closet to compose herself, because she hates how inexperienced she is and how he’s an expert.

So this badass bitch gets completely naked, and steps out of the closet just to see the look on his face. Then she kneels and asks if this is what he imagined she’d be like when he thought about her obsessively in Hallow Hall. He’s like um yes. Exactly this. But with more groveling.

“So what did I do?” she asks.

“I imagined you telling me to do with you whatever I liked.” - he says, kind of mortified and scared of her. Like this is such a cute vulnerable moment from him where she has his heart in the palm of her hand. And yay Jude for discovering her sexy self, which like every other personality trait of hers, is also terrifying. Cardan’s into it though. And they have very sexy sex on the floor, which is fucking adorable and sweet and I love it so much, and I also know this means something TERRIBLE is about to happen.

(This was in Chapter 21 by the way!)

In Chapter 22, Maddock finally shows up. He wants to come parlay as per traditional fru fru tradition. The Bomb is like “How about this? How about I shoot him with an arrow?” and Cardan’s like “Nah, I’m not a coward. But I’m not going to duel him either.” – So everyone is just hanging out gathering for this like spectators. Even Vivi, Heather, and Oak who REALLY shouldn’t be there and I’m surprised everyone is okay with this. While they’re getting ready to have the parlay, Jude and Cardan have a little moment.

Before they go out there, Cardan comes out and says that he LOVES HER, and walks away all cool before she can reply, which drives her nuts. Jude realizes she’s loved him for a long time. She loved him before they got married. AUGH so SWEET.

Maddock comes in there like “Duel me. Lookit my big sword made by this master smith. I’ll even let you use it.”

Cardan’s like “I’m not going to fucking duel you, dude. And you better put that fucking sword down in my throne room, kay thanks.”

“Want me to put it down? Okay.” And he DRIVES the sword into the ground, which causes an earthquake so strong it makes the throne cut in half. Like this hundnreddsss year old throne that Cardan’s family has been protecting for generations, just destroyed. God Maddock is an ASSHAT.

Then Maddock starts spewing his shit like “Do you think your people actually care about you? Like your stupid murdered family ever cared about you? The only reason you accepted the crown was because you so desperately wanted to be accepted by your family. Your subjects don’t even like you. My army is super loyal. You suck. DUEL ME OR I KILL THE SEA QUEEN with my magic bullet that moves if I tell it to.”

Cardan has this interesting introspective moment and says “A king is not his crown. You’re right that loyalty or love shouldn’t be forced. But Elfhame shouldn’t be won or lost on a wager, either. You fuckin weird bloodthirsty old man.”

Cardan CRACKS THE BLOOD CROWN IN HALF and is like “The people shouldn’t swear loyalty to a crown. They should support the king they want to support. Your choice is your own.”

And boom, democracy is born in Elfhaim.

The folk are bowing their heads and nodding, totally on board the Cardan train. But then Grimsen interrupts everything by FREAKING OUT about his precious crown and how upset he is that it’s broken.

Jude remembers that everything Grimsen makes is cursed, just as Cardan’s eyes turn black, and the roses over the throne turn black, and his eyes start fucking BLEEDING BLACK and before she knows it, her adoring husband from the night before TURNS INTO A GIANT FUCKING BLACK SNAKE!!!!! *Pterodactyl scream* NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Grimsen says “It will poison the land. No true love’s kiss will stop it. No riddle will fix it. Only death.”

Maddock jumps on the opportunity and wants to kill the snake. Jude is like the FUCK you will. Her army seizes Maddock and his little posse. Snake Cardan bites and kills Grimsen, which kind of solidifies that his brain isn’t in there, because Cardan is very much against murdering people. It’s just pure chaos up in the throne room. There’s a cute part where Oak tries to save his mother with a little toy sword. Everyone runs away and the snake gets stabbed a little by Maddock but is okay, and it curls around the throne as Jude is dragged out the room.

Babygirl has herself a much-deserved panic attack. Grima Mog is like “Get a hold of yourself” and Jude says “I fucking will. I’m going to stand up. I’m going to be okay in a minute.” Grima is like “I know you will be.”

I like Grima Mog. I like her even though she’s like a bloodthirsty cannibal. What is it with this book and making me really like murderers?????

Alright so Jude immediately swings into badass bitch mode. Calls the Bomb. Tells her to go get intel on who out there is plotting her assassination and who is vying for the crown. She says not to ask questions. Murder anyone who looks like they’re trying to murder her. The Bomb is like yep. Roger that.  Calls her sister in. Tells Taryn she’s good at decorating things (like Locke’s house of debauchery). Asks her to make up a room to act as a throne room where she can talk to people and be scary and intimidating. Taryn is like yep. On it. She tells Grima Mog she is the new army general, because she doesn’t like the guy Cardan chose.

Jude gets all set up in her makeshift throne room since the real one is currently being guarded by a huge fucking snake. She sees the Living Council in there and starts planning on what to do about Maddock and his stupid fucking army and all of the courts that are currently splintering off trying to figure out who to be loyal to. She calls in Baphen and tells him to consult the stars for a way to cure Cardan. The Living Council is like “we should just kill the snake” and Jude is like “We’re not fucking killing the snake. Focus on Maddock.” So they talk that out and rally the troops.

Eventually the snake gets out lol it gets through the crack in the floor, and then runs around the land for a little bit doing snake stuff.

Wherever it touches rots and turns black. And people have gotten it in their heads that whoever slays the snake gets to be king, so it keeps getting attacked and killing indiscriminately. But eventually, it comes BACK because apparently the throne room is its den now. It curls around the broken throne and it’s snowing in there. The weather outside is also nuts and thunderstormy and hailing.

After her meeting, Jude enters the throne room and tries her hand at talking to the snake. She tries to see if there’s any recognition in its golden eyes, but there doesn’t seem to be. She tries to call on the land to heal him, but nothing happens. There’s a sweet part where she says out loud “Take my crown. Take my power. Take whatever you need, just heal him. Please.” — and even though the land or magic doesn’t answer her, I hope somewhere in there, Cardan heard her.

Okay so the prophecy said… that if Cardan ever came into the crown, the throne and the crown would be destroyed. But the prophecy also said that only if his blood is spilled, would a truly perfect leader emerge. I THINK this means that Jude is eventually going to have to slay the snake.

Jude hangs out in the snowy throne room with the snake for like HOURS until the Bomb comes. The snake has gotten used to Jude’s presence and doesn’t seem to want to attack her, so that’s something. It’s still impossible to tell if Cardan is in there though. I mean it doesn’t react to his name.

Anyway the Bomb says “Hi. I killed a ton of people that were plotting against you. You wanna come out of the snake room now?” And Jude says “Okay.” Just as Grima Mog comes back with word that Maddock wants to talk.

So they move her whole complicated throne set up outside because Jude is livid and doesn’t want these people anywhere near her fucking home and her cursed husband. I don’t know if I mentioned it earlier, but the people from the Court of Teeth are weird. They’re like ice faeries and they have this little girl who is their queen, but she’s just a puppet for her parents who keep her on a literal bridle. When they get there, the bridle is gone, but her skin is all scarred from where it was. And she’s in these horrible chains that look just as painful. Maddock shows up with that lovely family and isn’t wearing any armor.

He’s like “Hey. I never wanted to kill you. I actually quite like you. You wanna strike a deal? I’ll give you this bridle so you can control your snake husband. It was made by Grimsen and gives you complete control over whoever you want to restrain. That way you can remain queen and make sure your snake stops running around rotting the earth and killing anyone who tries to pierce its apparently impervious scales.”

Jude is like “You threw a bunch of men at it and figured out it’s unstoppable, didn’t you? What are you up to?”

“Make Oak marry this tiny icy abused child and you get the bridle.” Maddock says.

AND TO MY SHOCK AND HORROR, Jude is like “Okay.” — well she agrees to accepting the bridle on the terms that the war should be put on hold and it’s better for everyone if there isn’t a deadly toxic snake running around.

She doesn’t agree to the marriage. She agrees to have a bridling… event? Where she is going to attempt to bridle the snake, and if she wins then yay. If she fails and it kills her, then the armies are all gathered and can duke it out. She thinks Maddock is trying to rule through her the way she ruled through Cardan. Oh gosh I hope she’s up to  something and not actually considering putting that thing on the snake. That night, she throws a wadded up paper into the ocean that says “If you ever loved him, help me.”

Jude and the Bomb have a sweet convo and Jude goes to try to help the Roach, who is still poisoned. When Jude sees him, she’s horrified to find that he’s not just sleeping, he’s having like… nightmares. She tries to heal him, but the earth magic won’t come. The Ghost, who is part of the gang again (yay!) tells her not to force it, just let it come. AND IT DOES! The roach is back and confesses his love to the Bomb and it’s fucking adorable.

Jude takes the bridle to that old hag lady that once tried to trick Cardan into marrying her daughter. Now she’s good I guess haha. The hag tells her that if she followed the instructions Lord Nell or whatever his name is gave her, and tied her hair around the bridle, then she would have been bound to the snake as well. Basically, it was a trick that would have trapped both Jude and snake Cardan into servitude. Thank god she found this out.

Jude also visits Heather in the library who is researching snake-themed faerie tales looking for a clue. Heather tells her that she struck a deal with Vivi that when they go back to the human world, her memories will be erased. But Vivi will have to meet her again and win back her love. But do it properly this time and be honest about the faerie shit from the get-go. And if Heather falls in love with her despite that, she’ll get all her memories back. That’s super freaking sweet I love them.

There’s like a banquet before the snake bridling.

And Jude is doing her best to be a badass queen and make speeches, but she’s so nervous. She gets through it though. Her and Nicasia have this super sweet moment (after Kaye, Roiben’s lady punches her) where Nicasia is like “I know you’re a bloodthirsty monster who is only using Cardan for his power, but please save him. I beg of you.”

And Jude actually CRIES with her and says “Tell me the riddle I must solve. Tell me what to slay. What to sacrifice. And it’s done. I’ll do anything to free him. I promise you.” And they just stand there, two enemies, crying together and realizing how much they love this poor cursed snake boi.

Taryn and Vivi find a chest with some badass silver armor made for a woman, so Jude wears that to the big “snake bridling event” that is happening out in the woods somewhere.

The snake is out. Doing it’s thing. Turning the land to shit. The armies are gathered on either side, and everyone is watching Jude and waiting to see what happens. Will she bridle the snake or will she be eaten? It’s growing bigger too, so by now, it could swallow a car.

Jude has some internal monologue… where she actually wonders if bridling him is the right thing to do. She has no idea how to break the curse. This way, Cardan wouldn’t have to die. He’d be trapped as a poisonous snake forever, but at least he’d be by her side. But she also remembers what Cardan said before he got cursed. That no one should be forced to swear their love or allegiance. That’s the kind of thing you should decide for yourself. And she remembers that Cardan said something along the lines of “I was on my way to becoming Balekin. Becoming a monster. If I ever go down that path again, I want it to be you that ends me.” — SO SHE CUTS OFF THE SNAKE’S HEAD.

HE DEAD. There is blood EVERYWHERE.

And the second she does this, fighting breaks out. It’s just a bloodbath all around while Jude is in shock. Maddock’s army gets defeated because Nicasia shows up with the sea. But instead of trying to kill Jude, Maddock comes to help her up.

He tells her “You’ve already won. Look.” And turns her around to the snake where a bright golden light has emerged. And out of it steps naked-ass Cardan covered in blood and looking regal as hell.

“Only when his blood is shed will a great ruler emerge”

BOOM. He calls for the fighting to end and Jude runs and hugs him. They hang on to each other and it’s so sweet. THE BEST REUNION.

Someone literally is like “Welcome back, King! Here, you want this cloak?”

And Cardan goes “Nah. I haven’t worn clothes in days.”

And literally rides buck ass naked in the carriage, covered in blood. HAH. Like. Yeah nudity is a thing in Faerie world but alrighty. Here we go. Cardan is back and he’s not messing around.

Everybody gets a bath. The general mood is SO HAPPY and celebratory. There’s a big ole banquet where Cardan and Jude slip away to the pretty glowing mushroom room behind the throne (which he fixed with his magic and split into 2 chairs). They finally have a moment alone, and Jude blurts out “I love you.”

He’s like “You don’t have to say that out of pity.” — which breaks my heart. That he STILL thinks she hates him so much that she seriously never will love him. And he’s CONTENT with just being with her even if it’s just for power.

But Jude launches into this awesome, fumbling speech about how she liked him ever since they went out together during the revelrie, and he helped her learn about each court and how to win them over. She says being around him is fun. And walks through their whole history together to help him understand that despite her being a cold, unfeeling monster, she loves him to pieces.

And they kiss. And it’s fucking adorable.

Jude also asks him what it was like being a snake and he says it was hella weird. He definitely had an animal brain. And was filled with fear and strife and a feral instinct to kill indiscriminately. But he says, he knew Jude. That’s why he was calm when she came and sat with him. He always knew her. (Awww!!!)

The next day they have a formal coronation. Apparently 2 people have never ruled together. It’s always a king or queen who has a bunch of consorts. But they get the ceremony where the court gets asked if they accept their king and queen, and everyone says yes because Cardan is awesome and Jude is scary. But they like scary. Then they get to give out BOONS to all of the people that were loyal or traitorous.

Grima Mog gets to keep the earth-shattering sword and continue to be general. Taryn gets cleared of all charges even though she totally fucking murdered her husband. The ice princess with the bridle scars gets freed and her parents get put in her custody. And she gives a creepy shark-toothed grin that makes Jude think maybe her parents were keeping her in chains for a reason. But that’s their problem!

Maddock gets brought in and Jude sentences him to live in the mortal world for the rest of his days, and to forget the name he knows (she’s talking about the Ghost’s name). I like that her and Maddock totally come to this agreement. He’s like “Yeah, okay I lost. You’re absolutely a badass. I hate losing but I’m also pretty proud”. I think he was really sad when he thought he killed her. So this is a better punishment than getting executed for sure. Oriana decides to go with him and Oak is excited because he loves the mortal world and now his parents are going to live there too. YAY!

I love how this book ends. It ends with Jude and Cardan flying home with Vivi and Oak to the real world. And they find Cardan some normal clothes (a tshirt over his black pants) and they have a cute little party at Vivi’s apartment.

Heather is there and puts up a sign that is like “Congrats Newlyweds!” And says “Vivi has told me some wild things about ya’ll!” Jude just hugs her. They also got them a cake with little gummy snakes sprinkled on it. And Oak takes them to pick up pizza.

Heather also got everyone paper crowns, and there’s this cute part where Cardan tilts his paper crown at an angle, like he used to wear the Blood Crown and it makes Jude laugh. The book ends with them toasting to a new future, and pizza, and friends, and Cardan says “To scheming great schemes.”

I love that this is where we leave them. In casual real world clothes wearing paper crowns and eating gummy snakes.

Boy, I loved this book. I love the world building. I love the slow burn romance. The sexy times. I love that Holly Black makes me like and cheer for this cold hard bitch Jude. I love that Cardan, who at one time was SO NOT LIKEABLE it was CRAZY became one of my favorite characters in fiction.

I loved when that heel turn happened, when he was a prisoner of the spies, and was so cute and charming. We all fell in love with him at the same time Jude did.

Then we spent 2 books watching Jude be a complete idiot and be the last one in the world to realize how much he loved her. And how much she loved him. She loved him more than power, which was her single solitary goal this whole time.

This mortal girl overtook a bunch of magical immortals and it was completely believable and fun and baffling. Damn I can see why Holly Black is so highly regarded. That was SO GOOD. I am going to need a few days to digest this.

I just keep thinking of them all happy and celebrating together over pizza and paper crowns. EEEEE!!!

Deadass Rating: 9.5/10

#cruel prince #jude x cardan #queen of nothing #folk of the air #cardan greenbriar #books & libraries #currently reading #fiction #literature #writers #the wicked king #holly black #jurdan #deadass book reviews #book reviews #book recommendations

[piss-panties-and-jeans-girl]

Well, I had to go into the emergency room this morning because my pick line was leaking. So I’m sitting there and I need to go to the bathroom and I’m holding and holding and all of a sudden a Pissing my panties in my jeans shorts. I was so wet. Some of the nurses are coming to eat going girl you got it get your bladder in order. If not in order, do you like wetting I love to wet myself. So I’m sitting there wet panties and wet jeans. Shorts and all I can say is well I’m not gonna bug you off. I have to go pee. I’ll just do what you do Kaylee. Is it OK is right now. I gotta go pee again. Michele says you know I’m not even going to say anything. Just piss your panties in your shorts. I said OK and she’s one of the nurses that I know she is also a wet her panties and scrubs. She pees her pants all the time she says she goes. I love that one feeling a P in my daddy going my legs my butt. I said I know the feeling I love with my crotch is so fucking wet, full of pee and it goes up my ass and then down my legs. She goes it feels good doesn’t it I go yes, it does feel so good. It is so warm, it’s it’s she said addicting yes addicting. Well as for me I love to piss my panties and jeans.and I know you do too. Yes I do. I pee my pants every day. Me also I do it every day too but after I get home from work.cool. Do you or satin pennies like oh yeah, I wear satin panties and they feel so soft when you pee in them and so warm. she asked me what color panties you wearing I’m wearing green and they’re wet. They’re soaking wet right now. I ended up finding finding out a lot of other nurses that Peter pants. So all I did was I just sat there drinking water peeing my panties in shorts and having a good time. How old are you Kaylee I’m 25 how long have you been peeing your pants since I was 12 years old how about you? I was 14 when my boyfriend said I want you to pee your pants so I peed. My pants in front of him. He got hard the minute. I peed my pants. Next thing I know we were in his bedroom fucking. I’ve had that happen a few times two. I remember I will come home at night in my panties and pants were soaking wet. What happened? My mom goes OK I want the truth and I want to know how come you’re always soaking wet in your crotch your button legs. And I want the truth. I said well mom I like to pee my pants and I like to be my panties because I have I have sex after that. So, when you wet yourself, you have sex after yes you’re 12 years old I know mom but it feels so good I like sucking a big dick in his his cum on my face. My mom goes. I remember them days and yes it’s fun sucking a big cock. I suck his dick in a piss my panties and suck dick. I was 13 years old. Yes mom I was in a Gloryhole. I never sucked so much cock and swallow it so much come in sperm. But I love to be a naughty girl. I had those days so I’m not gonna say anything but if you want to go in piss your Panties and your jeans or pants well, go ahead and do what you want to do. You’re not mad. No. When I was young girl I was the same way. So where have you peed your panties at? In public. The most the most fun time was class at school I P in the middle of the classroom. well you were a lot braver than I was. I love just sitting there in my class peeing my panties in my pants. You can hear the pee hitting out on the floor. I was called a Girls Pee Pee pants. Hey P pants girl hey baby girl. Hey are you a pit slut? I would pee my pants in class. I would piss all over going from one class to another class. And I also like to pee my pants before I went to school. All my girlfriends knew I like peeing my panties in my pants because it was so much fun. How old are you now I’m 25. And you’ve been peeing your panties in your jeans since you were 12 years old ha ha yes.. well I see we both like the same thing and it’s so much fun just wetting your panties in jeans in it.I love it. So I had to go see my doctor and Dr. Jill goes girl are you wet again? Yes you spell Water right no. You know there’s so many gals in here than it have all wet their pants. I know a few of them.

Kaylee

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Protector

Chapter One

Chapter Seven:

Virgil had just about had it with Roman.  He understood that he didn’t like him.  He didn’t like Roman either.  But at least he didn’t try to police every single thing that Roman did with his time.  He got that sometimes, it just wasn’t his fucking business, a lesson that Roman was apparently still working on.

“So now that you can’t manipulate Patton you’ve moved on to Logan,” came a sudden voice, and Virgil had to stop himself from yelping in surprise as he whirled around.

“Would you knock on my—” Virgil stopped and took a deep breath, clenching his hands into fists behind his back.  “Hi Roman, can I help you?”

“I’d like you to stop trying to invade my family,” Roman snapped, crossing his arms.  “Maybe Patton and Logan buy your new nice act, but I don’t.  And I’m not going to let you do whatever the hell you’re thinking about doing to them.”

“Roman,” Virgil said, trying to get across that on this matter, at least, he was serious.  “I have absolutely no intentions of hurting any of you.”

“And I’m supposed to just believe that?” Roman asked, throwing his hands wide.

Virgil clenched his jaw.  Don’t flinch, don’t flinch, don’t flinch—

“It’s the truth,” he said.  “I don’t know what else you want me to tell you.”

“How about why you suddenly had a complete personality 180?” Roman snapped, narrowing his eyes.  Virgil tried to breathe deeply.  “Why were you not okay with staying here at first but then changed your mind?  Why are you trying so hard to get along with Patton and Logan when you didn’t care at all before?  What are you up to?”

“I told you already,” Virgil said, trying to think ahead as he was talking.  “It was just an overwhelming offer, I had to think about it for a bit.  I am Anxiety, I get overwhelmed pretty easily.”

Roman narrowed his eyes, and Virgil appreciated the fact that he didn’t have an immediate rebuttal.

Keep breathing, you can do this.  You just have to keep both of you talking long enough to make Roman forget about the first question.  The others you have answers for.

“And I’m trying to get along with Patton and Logan because we live together now.  Anything else would kind of just make us all miserable, wouldn’t it?  I don’t know about you, but I kind of prefer not being miserable.”

Dammit, that would make Roman think he was goading him on.

Sure enough, Roman narrowed his eyes.  “I do too,” Roman said.  “Except the thing is, we were all perfectly fine before you showed up.”

Virgil thought of Logan’s face when Virgil asked him what he was working on, and wondered for the first time if that was true.

“You asked me to come here,” Virgil said, clenching his hands tighter and trying to keep from snapping.

“Well I don’t think we were expecting you to start trying to manipulate your way through everyone,” Roman snapped, having no preexisting qualms about doing so.

“I’m not manipulating anything,” Virgil lied, managing to calm his voice down.  “Is it so hard to believe that maybe I’m trying to turn over a new leaf?”

“Yes,” Roman said.  “Why would you do that?  Why would any of you—” Roman gestured wildly at Virgil, meaning he was probably referring to the others too— “do that?”

Virgil dug his nails into his hands.  Don’t piss him off don’t piss him off do not piss him off—

“Well maybe I’d prefer not to be one of them anymore,” Virgil said, feeling like he was dragging the words out over sandpaper.

Roman did not look at all convinced, and Virgil felt like he was running out of things to say.  For now, though, Roman just kept glaring at him through narrowed eyes, looking for something in his face.

Finally, he didn’t seem to find it, and stepped back and threw his arms up.

Virgil flinched, managing not to bring his hands up to cover his face.

“Why do I ever bother?” Roman said to the ceiling.  “You’re just a villain.  I’m trying to ask a villain what his evil plan is like he’s going to tell me.”

“I don’t have an evil plan,” Virgil said.  His voice shook a little bit, and he wanted to kick himself.

“Well, I’m definitely not going to believe that,” Roman said.  “Look, just watch yourself.  And if you hurt any of my family you’re going to have me to deal with.”

Before Virgil could protest again, Roman sank out, because apparently he got to come and go from Virgil’s room as he pleased.

Virgil grumbled to himself and glanced over at his door.  He needed a new lock.  He hadn’t brought his old one with him because it was clunky and obvious and would key the core sides in that something was up.  But if Roman was going to be sinking into his room like this without permission, maybe he could get a smaller, weaker one that could stop the likes of smaller, weaker sides like him.

…And maybe he was feeling just a tad unsafe after Roman threw his hands up like that.

Virgil sank out to the kitchen to grab some food, and after doing so he sank out to Remus’ room, which he had permission to do, thank you very much.

“I brought you shit,” Virgil said, dropping the apple and plate with slices of cheese that he’d decided would go unnoticed onto Remus’ desk.  Remus leapt up from his bed and spun around in one move, already grinning.

“Food!” he cried happily, running for the desk and making guilt swell in Virgil’s chest for not showing up sooner.

Remus attacked the food on the plate and finished it all in less than a minute, grinning at Virgil as he did so.  “What news do you bring to entertain me?”

“Well, I was kind of hoping you could make me a smaller lock.  Not as elaborate as the ones I had here, just one that could keep people from sinking into my room uninvited.”

Remus went still and looked at Virgil.  “Who’s bothering you?” he asked lowly.

“It’s not a big deal,” Virgil said.  “Just an irritation, really.”

Remus gave Virgil a once over and grabbed his hands, which he held up in between them to reveal their slight shaking.  “Who’s bothering you?” he asked again.

Virgil winced.  “Roman’s just… loud,” he said finally.  “And angry.”

Remus narrowed his eyes.  “Want me to kill him for you?” he asked, sounding a little too serious for Virgil’s liking.

“No, I do not want you to kill him for me,” Virgil said, crossing his arms.  “I’m trying to get them to like me, Remus.  Remember, the whole plan you came up with?”

“Yeah, but now Roman’s bothering you, so I can change the plan and kill him if you want.”

“Roman’s not bothering me that much,” Virgil said, shoving his hands in his pocket and out of both of their sights.  “I really just want to lock him out.”

Remus didn’t look happy, but after a second he summoned a simple lock, much smaller than the ones Virgil was used to.  “There.  That’ll keep him out.”  He passed it over to Virgil.

“Thanks,” Virgil said, taking it.

Remus narrowed his eyes dangerously.  “If he hurts you, tell me.”

“Okay,” Virgil said with a nod, while thinking that he definitely wouldn’t.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Remus.  He just didn’t trust him to back off, and if Roman really did hurt him, there wasn’t much Virgil could do about it.  At least, there wasn’t anything he could do that would forward his goal that wasn’t “sit there and take it.”  It’s nothing he hadn’t done for Remus before.  It would be fine.

For now, he sat down on Remus’ bed and explained the progress he’d made with Logan.  He’d put the lock on his door later, and that would solve his Roman problem, for now.

…

“So you’re locking me out now?”

“Jesus Christ,” Virgil said, putting his hand to his chest as he spun around in his chair.

Roman was standing over the chair now, crossing his arms and glaring down at him.

“So you’re sneaking up on me in the commons too now?” Virgil didn’t say, because he wasn’t an idiot.

“I just prefer it if people knock,” he said instead.  “You weren’t knocking.”

“So you lock me out?” Roman asked, scowling.  “What are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything,” Virgil said, getting really tired of this conversation, even if there were in fact many things that he was hiding.

“Why lock me out then?”

“Because I appreciate privacy,” Virgil said, leaning his head back against the chair.  “I just… I prefer it when people knock.”

Roman didn’t seem to like that answer, but before he could say anything else, Logan walked past him from the hallway.

“Good morning Anxiety,” he said.  “I apologize for my tardiness, I’m feeling a little under the weather today.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to rest?” Virgil asked, glad to be focusing on something other than Roman.

“Ah, so you’re trying to get him to neglect his job!” Roman exclaimed, and both Virgil and Logan turned to face him.

“Roman, don’t be absurd,” Logan said, crossing his arms and taking a step closer to Roman.  “That is an intentional misreading of what just happened.”

“Logan, how do you just trust him?” Roman exclaimed.  “You have noticed his sudden personality change too, haven’t you?”

“I think it makes far more sense to attribute that to Anxiety not wanting to fight with the people he’s living with all the time,” Logan said, giving Roman a look.  “You’re certainly being very antagonistic towards him, and he doesn’t seem to be responding in kind.”

“Yes, and how interesting is that,” came Janus’ voice, and they all turned to see him now walking into the room, giving Virgil a suspicious look.

Oh great.  They were all ganging up on him again.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” Virgil managed.

“We’ve known you to start fights,” Janus said, crossing his arms.  “You’ve been starting them since you first met Thomas.  You suddenly decide to change just because you’re living over here now?”

“I don’t see why you think that’s so unreasonable,” Logan said.  He seemed to pick up on Virgil’s nerves, because he moved to sit on the couch instead of remaining standing with the other two, which helped Virgil’s chest loosen just a little.

“Logan, come on,” Roman said.  “You’re telling me you buy his non-confrontational act?”

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Logan said.  “Because I have been spending quite a bit of time talking with Anxiety and getting to know him.  You two, meanwhile, are treating him poorly based on previous assumptions and a lack of data.  It is a scientifically unsound way to behave.”

“Logan, it’s okay,” Virgil said, because the last thing he wanted was to start getting in between the core sides.  “I’m not mad about it.  It’s alright.”

Logan didn’t look exactly satisfied with that statement, but thankfully he didn’t talk over Virgil, and just sat back with his notebook.  Roman gave Virgil one more glare, and then headed out of the room with Janus.

“You should really rest if you’re not feeling well,” Virgil said once they were alone.

Logan sighed.  “I am fine, Anxiety.  I plan to take it easy today.  I am more concerned with your lack of standing up for yourself.  You do not have to put up with the others being unfair to you.”

Well, that might have been true, if Logan was the main person he had to win over.  Unfortunately for Virgil, though, he had to win over Janus.  And standing up to him would not help in the slightest.

There was also the fact that Virgil couldn’t really be mad at Roman and Janus for thinking he was trying to manipulate them, not when he totally was.  It wasn’t their fault that Patton and Logan were more easily duped.

Virgil winced.  A large part of him didn’t like the idea of manipulating Patton or Logan any more.  But it’s not like he could stop.  Not when it was them or Remus.

“It doesn’t bother me,” Virgil lied, picking up his headphones to cut off any further conversation.  It would still take a long while for his nerves to calm down.

...

Chapter Eight

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #platonic dukexiety #platonic analogical #my fic

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 💣 - July 2023 - Taurus

Singles:

Overall energy: The Fool

How you will meet: 2 Swords & The Tower

How they will treat you: Queen of Pentacles

Long-term Potential: The Hierophant

Oracle:

Dance in the storm ⛈

Keep your word.

Wow, this is a great reading. Whoever they are, they’re going to hit you like a lightning bolt ⚡️ out of nowhere, you won’t see them coming. Nor will you necessarily trust it right away, there’s going to be a period where you’re like “why u lyin’?” 🤣 You think they’re messing with you, manipulating you, anything but actually being this serious…probably this fast. Because this seems to move FAST. Justice shows they mean it, and they make a point to consistently prove it every step of the way. Your objections and lack of trust amuse them.

If you have options before you meet this person, that will be no more. You could’ve gone through some difficult relationships before now, which would explain your immediate indecision & second guessing this person. But I get they are in love with you, spoil you, helping out & acts of servicing the fk out of you with this Queen of Pentacles. Could be another earth sign, or have an earth Venus for me to get it that way. They’re like lemme change your oil. Lemme make you eggs 🍳 Lemme get this lightbulb real quick. Lemme make sure we have candles in a blackout, the gas tank is full, and I called ahead just to make sure. I got it, you need it, and I got it. Just some examples…I’m dying over here. It’s genuine. They don’t care what you think about it either, you’ll learn 🤣 Long term is MARRIAGE, and they’re going to clear up any confusion you have about any dang thing you can think up…you need some clarity Taurus ok, they got that too. Clownin’ with cuteness, 10/10.

Messages -

Their side:

- Older man/woman

- I want to grow with you 🌸

Your side:

- Sweet as candy 🍬

- Forever Young

Signs you may be dealing with:

Scorpio, Libra, Pisces & Gemini

Couples:

Overall energy: 9 Swords

Current: Justice

Challenge: Ace of Wands

How they feel about you: Page of Cups & The Sun

How you feel about them: Knight of Swords

Outcome: The Star

You two are emotionally distant and pretty separate through July, though I don’t see a breakup, there is likely to be a row between you. Your person comes up as someone loud, yelling, ragey, argumentative. You’re coming up as very cold, and condescending twice, it shows up in their Oracle too, like this is something that reaaaally pisses them off. An air about you, but I mean if they tantrum like a toddler…yeah, so that’s the issue here 😆 Your Oracle encourages more kind words to deflect their “rage issues” or whatever this is, rather than tossing gasoline onto that fire, that’s seems to be the whole issue this month.

They’re really stressed out because they see you not speaking to them at all, you’ve got your sword up ready to attack if they come at you in a certain way, and they’re aware of that. You’re setting clear boundaries surrounding communication. They better check their tone or don’t even come at you kind of energy. I don’t get “ragey” cards, or explosiveness, but you see them as Knight of Swords, and his communication can be swift & vicious so long as his point is made. You’re not into that, it’s an immediate nope. Every air sign is here, you both show up as the Swords pair, which could show you both have heavy air energy, or just the emotional detachment you both have for each other after an argument, you’re both in this hands off detached energy. Both are focused on clear communication and truth, but that’s the problem too. You’re taking necessary space to get your head clear and figure out what you will want to say. I don’t get cruelty, spite, control issues, jealousy, none of that. You’re about logic, fairness, balance, talk it out…but you’re not talking it out, which has them like ??? 🤯

They’re stressing over you, because you’re completely unbothered with them. Happy even, doing your own thing, living your life, possibly treating yourself to whatever, whenever, and aren’t concerned with this situation at all. It’s like they messed up, and you need a break, but you’re sure to enjoy every second of that break, because you’re not an unhappy person. You’re getting your head on straight, this person has knocked you off balance and you’re working to fix that with some space, it’s all positive energy with you, just an independent one. The issue seems to be motivation for them to handle this conflict between you, and you’re not interested. Or you’re mad at them and taking it out on them by freezing them out with silence, could be, but again I don’t get vengefulness or intentional mean behavior. You just don’t want to argue, so you’re not gonna talk to them. That’s about as deep as it goes. If you’re allowing other people into this situation, friends/family, that’s a big problem as well.

They see you as apologizing and trying to have a new start with them, the outcome is really good too, it’s a temporary blip on the radar where this person comes at you aggressively, maybe saying some harsh things, and you’re like NOPE. Bye. In a condescending way, you’ve noped them right out of your life for a period of time. Focusing instead on work and the things that bring you joy, because their bs does not. Spirit wants you to also look at your own tone, not just what you say but *how* it’s said, it seems to encourage this person going from irritated to just ridiculous 🔥 or something. Not that it’s your fault, or problem, but more like - control what *you* can is what I’m getting with that. You see the whole thing as a disaster having been avoided because you noped them in the first place. Could leave altogether. They could compare issues now to issues in the past, that’s how you’re seeing them, and that’s something that needs to stop as well. You can’t even relate to that, which is probably where condescending comes in, or if they’re harping on old situations that are long gone. You’ll have to phrase that in a way that’s palpable for them to ponder. Outcome is healing, and overcoming this. After their outburst, they are also in a more communicative and balanced state of…let’s talk. It’s gotta start somewhere but I do see it being addressed successfully.

Messages -

Their side:

- Irresponsible

- LOUD 📢

Your side:

- Condescending

- Obsessed with work

Oracles - Breathe like you know how.

Their side: Avoid being pulled in by people who use you and put you down.

Your side:

Many times, kind words expressed when someone is in a rage will help neutralize the negativity.

What you worry about now will resolve itself if you’re patient and let your chart unfold.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Aquarius, Libra, Gemini, Leo & Scorpio

#taurus tarot reading #july 2023 #love tarot spread #singles reading #couples reading #Taurus #tarot

[wherethewoofwoofsgo]

Febuwhump Day Six : Secrets Revealed

Is it May? Yes. Am I still posting my backlog as I do it? Y... Yes. I cannot physically be stopped. I'm not writing a description, though. This is admittedly getting posted just because I feel I spent too long on it I would hate not to share it.

1.3k

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“Honesty.”

His eyes remain shut, his head tipped back, fingers interlocked across his stomach. If all is going correctly, he is currently the picture of obstinance. He’d ask for nothing less. Anything less, and she might assume that he was simply engaged in a bout of listening, far away and in conversation with the cavern that envelops them, and that wouldn’t do for more reasons than the sickness a purposeful attempt might cause him.

“You’re old enough to know better than to play this type of game.”

He has to give his matriarch that. He knows much, much better than to play this type of game, knows the dark, panicky nights it’ll earn him when he’s discovered. Even thinking it too long is enough to leave a tremble to his hands, but he thinks of his cousin, of his whispers the night before, the struggle to keep his voice low as he told him where he’d go, of what he’d heard of the trains that danced across the surface of the continent, and he forces his hands still.

“I am,” he says, even. As if he’s never had reason to be scared of his mother.

The silence stretches on and at the end of the day, even with the terror of what lies ahead weighing down on him, Honesty is still Honesty and her momentary lapse in judgment is still enough to leave him fighting a quirk to his lip. It wouldn’t do, will just make her angrier. He lays there, counts the seconds of success, and waits.

Finally, she speaks, softer than he expected as she asks, “Where is Obedience?” The words tug at him, picking apart the strings that make him. It’s a mundane manipulation, the only type of manipulations she has, and he’s too old, too committed for it to work.

He cocks his head, eyes still shut, and he’s sure it bites at her as much as the cool of the cavern ground is beginning to bite at him through his clothes. He says it calmly, as if he truly believes it could ever possibly be a possibility, and he’s sure that only pisses her off more. A chill runs down him at the thought that, this time, she might well and truly hit him. “At a time like this? Obedience would usually be working a shop, wouldn’t he? Some kind of date planned for the afternoon break, I’m sure. A woman today?”

“Honesty.” As flat as her voice is, he still hears the way she holds back the beginnings of a plead.

He doesn’t let the sadistic pleasure, however short-lived it’s sure to be, shine through his response. “Matriarch.”

“Where is Obedience?”

He sighs, anything to drag the seconds out longer. “You know, he doesn’t have to tell me everything. His name’s Obedience, not Tell Honesty Your Every Whereabout.”

“If you truly have no idea where he is, you will say so right now.”

And well, that’s that, isn’t it? The silence stretches.

Finally, she whispers, “Honesty.”

He looks up to her and addresses her the only way he can think to extend the matter. “Forethought.”

It was, admittedly, a very stupid idea.

Pain bursts out of his side. It’s not bad, not compared to what he used to get, but it’s still a sharp pang through his side, enough to leave his eyes shutting tight. But she doesn’t hit him again, and the silence stretches on another moment, so he’s counting it as a success.

She spits out, “You know better.”

He barely keeps from laughing, the one guaranteed way to worsen the situation, and instead offers up, “It’s your name, isn’t it?”

“Where is he?”

The truth of the matter is, Honesty doesn’t know, not exactly. He knows where he was going, but he doesn’t know where Obedience is. Somewhere far away, hopefully. Heading somewhere even farther away. But if he admits that he doesn’t know, even if it doesn’t come close enough to a lie to leave him sick, then his role is done. His aunt knows he doesn’t know. It’s over. They’re done.

The dirt clings to him, the cavern pressing into his ears like water.

“Do I have to take you to your first mother?”

A shock runs through him. He sinks into the ground, looking hard up at the ceiling.

“I’ll have to lock you in the room over this, you know.”

And he does know, is the thing. He knew when he told Obedience he’d do this that he was going to earn himself some days in the room. His palms begin to sweat. He doesn’t want to go in.

He doesn’t want to make it worse.

Carefully, more careful than he has a right to be with the way he’s been swinging for death, he works his way to standing and leads his aunt into the house. They make their way towards the rooms his mother prefers, only to almost literally run straight into her.

Forethought straightens, saying primly, “Adamance, can you tell Honesty to tell me—”

But even before she interjects, he knows she already knows. It’s clear in the way her eyes dart between them, her brow drawn tight and stricken. “Where Obedience is? Gone. He’s gone. Left the caverns and went only the Goddess knows where. That’s what I’m dealing with right now.” She finally acknowledges him enough to ask, “Do you know where he went?”

He can feel his face morph into something ugly as he says, “Just that it’s somewhere far away from here.”

The next thing he knows, fireworks of pain explode across his face.

“What is wrong with you?” Forethought hisses at him.

His mother scoffs as he reaches up a hand to touch his cheek, and by the time it lands she’s gone.

He stares at Forethought. Now that he’s done what he meant to, has met all goals, served all purposes, a heaviness has settled over him, accompanied by an emptiness.

Obedience is gone. What else is there to say?

“I asked you a question. I expect an answer. Unless you want me to answer for you?”

She must be livid if he’s expected to deliver part of it himself.

His lips move of their own accord. “I’m ungrateful. I refuse to obey, even when what you ask of me is clearly what’s best for me. And it would be one thing if I was purely incapable of obedience, but that obviously isn’t the case, because I can obey the Goddess perfectly fine.” He pauses, takes a breath. “And that means I do it on purpose. And that makes me a worse son.”

She stares at him, heat burning in her eyes. He holds her gaze as best he can as she says, quiet, “You deserve this.”

He doesn’t ask her what, already has a clear idea of it as she grabs him by the arm. His body follows her. It’s real. Obedience has gotten his wish. And now, Honesty…

She was saying something to him, lecturing him probably, but he was too busy nursing the emptiness in his chest to sit with it. Down the hall, down to the door he knew so well, and even seeing the sigils worn into it was enough to make his heart quicken, even like this, and she threw open the door, threw him in. She didn’t tell him how long he’d be left in the room. Canniness would have. It was one of the things that made her a good first matriarch.

Immediately the terror of the room pushes into him, makes it difficult to think. Emptiness spreads out in him, Obedience’s absence an abyss. Immediately he knows he’ll dwell in it, sink into it for however long he’s in here—Days? Weeks? Will he still be whole when he’s pulled out? They’d try for it, wouldn’t they? But something could go wrong—A lump caught in his throat.

Obedience was gone. If all went well, Honesty would never see him again.

And what a terrible thing to wish for things to go wrong.

#original fiction #febuwhump2023 #febuwhumpday6 #wtwwg ; honesty #cw abuse #writing on tumblr

[ljsstories]

Chapter Twenty Four: Jumping To Conclusions

Since that photo of Chloe kissing Jensen on the cheek had leaked, he was avoiding her like the plague. He would only see her to film scenes and then he was off in the other direction not even making eye contact with her to hide in his trailer. Landon had noticed how on edge he was, he tried to offer him some friendly advice, but Jensen wasn't in the mood to listen. It had come to light that it was the studio who leaked the photo trying to get some publicity for the movie. Jensen almost quit over it and Landon was starting to lose his laid-back disposition. "Does it really matter brother?" He'd asked Jensen one morning in his trailer, "I mean the people closest to you know the truth..." Not all the people closest to him, Jane didn't know that it was all bullshit!

"It matters to me! I don't want to lead that girl on! She's already following me around like a lost little puppy! This is just a step too far!" Landon sighed and ran a hand through his usually perfect long, brown hair which looked rather windswept despite there being no wind at all. He looked stressed, which for Landon Ellis, was not a good look.

"Dude I am trying here, okay? This is the biz! You and I both know all the dirty tricks the studios and the managers and the agents pull to make us relevant! Why is this such a surprise to you now? After all these years?" Jensen could see the dark circles under Landon's eyes, he always looked at least ten years younger than his age, but on this day, it wasn't a stretch to believe that the guy was pushing fifty.

"I don't know! Maybe I'm just tired of it all, you know?" Landon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"Brother, we're all tired! Believe me!" Apart from Jensen's little wobble, everything was going great with the movie, so why was Landon so stressed out? Maybe it was because his entire life was going to be laid bare in front of billions of people. Jensen knew that he was overreacting, that there were far more important things to be worrying about, but he couldn't help it. Jonah had taken a strop and refused to pass on any more messages to Jane, he'd told him to do his own dirty work, whatever that meant. He had no way of communicating with her indirectly anymore and it pissed him off, Doctor Jenna had told him not to stalk her, he was trying so hard not to, but sometimes he would lurk around her social media accounts to get the tiniest fix. He'd stopped liking any of her posts, he was a silent supporter now, he was taking what he'd learned in rehab seriously and giving Jane space...and it was killing him! Thank God he had this movie to take his mind off of things a little, but now with the whole Chloe thing, there was nothing he wanted more than to message Jane and tell her not to believe the press, he was still completely and utterly hers! "Jensen please just play the game. I know it's all a fucking joke, I've been there, but will you just suck it up...for me?" Jensen looked Landon in the eyes, his pleading blue eyes, the whites almost pink. He felt bad for being the cause of Landon Ellis' anxiety, but he just couldn't play this game anymore, not after everything he'd been through.

"How can you even ask me that when you've lived my life?" Landon's blue eyes widened in surprise, obviously he wasn't expecting Jensen to resist, "You've said to me many times that you wished that there was someone like you when you were younger to guide you through things, to help you navigate the murky waters of fame!" He could see Landon half nodding, looking confused as to where this conversation was going, but still agreeing with what Jensen had to say, "So why are you asking me to repeat your car crash of a life? You lost your Jane over this kind of shit! Why are you asking me to risk losing mine? I might not find another like you did, you just got lucky!" Landon sat back on the seat and stared straight ahead, as if he was having a good think about what Jensen had just said. He scratched his beard softly, still looking like he was deep in thought, blinked several times then turned to look at Jensen.

"I'm sorry!" He looked sad, Jensen didn't like seeing that emotion on the face of his mentor, "You're right, I..." Landon shrugged and squeezed his eyes shut, with a huge sigh he said, "...you shouldn't have to deal with this, and you won't from now on! I'll fix it, I promise! I've let you down!" Shaking his head and looking down at the ground, this was the first time Jensen had ever seen Landon in doubt, he was always so confident but right now he just looked so damn exhausted.

"You have never let me down Landon! Don't ever think that! I understand how much pressure you're under to get this movie made. I understand the ass kissing that must be done when you want your work to be taken seriously, I get it I do!"

"That's no excuse, I should have stood up for you when they told us about the leak, I should have told them to shoot the whole thing down!" Jensen felt guilty for pushing back, it had really given Landon a moral dilemma, "I will do better for you than I did for myself! I promise you! The number of women I was supposed to have dated and never did is ridiculous! Debunking this rumour about you could be a little fuck you to the sons of bitches that did the same thing to me back in the day!" He patted Jensen's shoulder and smiled sadly, "I will do right by you!" And he did, when asked about the romance rumours about his two leads Landon told everyone that it was completely untrue, and that Jensen and Chloe were just friends. Chloe on the other hand was milking it for everything she could get, giving the media coy smiles and winks while neither confirming nor denying it that she was dating Jensen Reed. All the while Jensen was terrified that Jane would see all of the crap that the tabloids were saying about him and believe it. He decided to sit Chloe down and explain his situation with Jane, how she was the one he was devoted to and that by feeding the press with her cryptic behaviour Chloe was damaging his relationship with her.

"You're talking about that girl who did the food for Dexter Maloney's latest exhibition and does those cute little YouTube videos?"

"Chloe I am pleading with you to just tell anyone who asks that we're just friends! Tell the truth!" Chloe's eyes were wide as she looked at him, he'd gathered the courage to knock on her trailer door and go inside to discuss this whole nightmare, but she still wasn't taking it seriously.

"Okay, well if you wanna talk about the truth to me then let's do that because that girl you're talking about is totally dating Corey Tyler from that Australian soap opera, Love And The Waves or whatever it's called!" Jensen let out an unexpected laugh, "No, seriously! He's landed the part of Jonathan Harker in that new Dracula reboot for HBO! He's big news right now and he's also been romancing your girl so..." Chloe looked to the side and tugged a strand of her blonde hair, "...I know you're full of shit Jensen Reed! You just don't wanna be with me so don't you come in here and talk to me about telling the truth!" She stomped her foot for effect and huffed, still refusing to look in his direction. "So, I will say whatever the fuck I like about us, because that's how it's done in this business! I'm too good for you anyway, you'll never know what you're missing!" Jensen didn't realise that his mouth was gaping wide open until he closed it and his tongue was like sandpaper, leaving Chloe's trailer in disbelief. There was no way that Jane was seeing anyone, not so soon after her mother's passing! Even if she was, it would never be that beach bum Corey Tyler! He was so not her type, no way!

***

It was all over the internet, Jensen Reed and Chloe Cornell were the newest big thing in Hollywood. The photo of the kiss was everywhere, and Jane couldn't escape it, Eliza said it was all a load of lies and tried to get Jonah to confirm it, but he wasn't speaking to Jensen again, so he didn't know if it was or not. He doubted it was true but that was all he could give the girls without actually speaking to Jensen, which he wasn't going to do because he hated him right now. The Reed brothers really were a pair of children sometimes, Jane despaired of their behaviour. She was surprised to feel both hurt and relieved over Jensen's romance rumours, deep down all she wanted was for him to be happy and she hoped that this Chloe Cornell made him feel that way. He deserved it after everything. "I just don't believe it!" Eliza had mumbled, sitting on the couch ramming forkfuls of stir fry into her mouth, "He didn't get over you just like that, I call bullshit to the whole thing!" Eliza talked and chewed at the same time, a right little multi-tasker.

"Well maybe she just...took his breath away or something. I don't know how pretending to be someone's boyfriend on a daily basis affects your real life. He could just have fallen for her!" Jane shrugged, trying to conceal the true hurt she was feeling over Jensen's new love.

"Bollocks!" Eliza declared, gulping down her food and giving her big sister a scowl, "It's all publicity for Landon's big film! You'll see!" And she did, a few days later Landon Ellis himself was quizzed about the blooming relationship between his two lead actors and he laughed and said they were just friends. Landon Ellis had a tell when he was lying, he would blink up to five times before answering with a pearly white grin, during this particular interview he didn't blink once. Maybe it was all just a bunch of crap made up to promote the film, maybe Jensen and Chloe were just friends after all! Whatever the truth was, Jensen certainly wasn't going to tell Jane personally, he'd stopped all contact with her. She never heard from him these days, not even through Juliet or Jonah. Juliet was too busy chewing her ear off about how big her bump was getting and sending her photos to prove she wasn't lying. She was really excited to become a mother but still trying to find a way to tell the father she didn't want to marry him. Jane enjoyed hearing from her, they had a mutual crush on Dexter Maloney and when Jane told her all about the exhibition Juliet told her she was jealous.

"Why did he have it in London though?" She had enquired, now that Jane had the answer, she was happy to share.

"Well, apparently his ex-girlfriend Katie Reese lives in London, she dumped him in high school, and he never got over it so as a bit of a fuck you he held it there. She's still with the former band mate she dumped him for and she's miserable!"

"Oh! Oh! Jeremy Price!" Juliet gasped, "Yes, he left the band when they were basically nobodies and called Deadly Nightshade and he took the name with him! He's such a dick, Jensy got into a full-on fist fight with him one time at Coachella!" Jane tried not to giggle at the thought of skinny Jensen Reed in a punch up, "Yeah! Real asshole! Well good for Dex, he's so dreamy! Every time I see him my ovaries explode!" Jane understood completely, standing face to face with him was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her, and she'd kidnapped an A-lister!

"How is Jensen getting on with his film?" Jane slotted it in there casually, hoping that Juliet wouldn't realise that she was fishing for any kind of details.

"He's pretty busy, we hardly hear from him and he's still living with loopy Landon and his family. He visits mom a couple of times a week but that's about it. Jonah's working on the album by himself, doing Jensen's job bossing the others around but because he's the second youngest in the band, TJ and Kris don't take him seriously and kind of give him a hard time!" She could hear Juliet's sad sigh on the other end, "Jonah had a huge row with Jensen over it and now they're not talking, ugh, boys!" She groaned in exasperation.

"That's all you need; you don't need the stress for your little one!"

"Ain't that the truth! Honestly, it's like my two little brothers never left pre-school the way they behave! They're such children!" Exactly what Jane was thinking, it was so nice to bond with someone who thought the same way she did. "It's all pure fiction you know!" She added quietly, Jane didn't know what she meant, "The rumours about Jensy and that car crash Chloe Cornell? Pure and utter fiction! There's no way he's dating her!" But she didn't know that for sure, she was just speculating, who knew what Jensen was capable of now, he was a changed man after his time in rehab.

"I just want him to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted for him!" Jane tried not to show how much it affected her, "He deserves some happiness, you all do!"

"So do you girl, after everything you've been through these past few months? You so deserved meeting Dexter Maloney!" Juliet laughed softly and sighed, "But seriously, I will eat my placenta if my brother is dating that girl! That's how confident I am that he's not!" Jane wished she could believe it, but Chloe Cornell was just too pretty, how could Jensen resist her?

A few days later Eliza received a surprise visitor, Jonah turned up on the doorstep on one knee with his eyes screwed firmly shut and one hand over his heart like he was pledging allegiance to an invisible flag. As Jane opened the door to this sight, he began spouting a whole speech, "Eliza Emily Thomson, I love you; I miss you; I want to be with you every moment of every day! I'm here to ask you to take me back, just...please take me back and you will not regret it I promise!" He gingerly opened one eye when his speech was met with silence, looking up at the sister of his beloved instead of Eliza, his cheeks began to glow a pretty crimson colour and he scrambled to his feet. "Janey! H-hi! Is Eliza home?" Jane tried not to let out the laugh she was barely holding in and nodded as Jonah stood looking down at his shoes and playing with his hands.

"Yes, come in!" Eliza was in the garden with Daisy, lazily lying on a blanket on the grass in a crop top and very short denim cut-offs. "Liza, there's someone here to see you!" Jonah slid past Jane and out into the back garden with his hands in his jeans pockets, just like his brother, his cheeks still a shocking shade of red. Eliza looked up at the towering figure that had blocked her light and an odd noise escaped from her mouth, like someone was strangling her.

"What the fuck?" She whispered while attempting to stand as Jonah took her hands and helped her up like a gentleman.

"Hey baby-I-I mean, hello Eliza!" Eliza continued to stare at him, her feelings over his surprise visit unreadable under her sunglasses.

"Jonah, you're supposed to be working! Why are you here?" She spluttered as Jonah hung his head like a naughty schoolboy and then Eliza's feelings were laid bare as she ripped off her sunglasses, she was in shock...but also rather annoyed.

"I needed to see you, after our last conversation I...couldn't leave it like that! Not without talking to you face to face!" What conversation? What was happening? Why hadn't Eliza told Jane about this conversation? What was said???

"There was no need, I understand how busy you are! You don't need to justify..." And he was down on one knee again, "Whoa, Jonah get up, what the fuck is this about?"

"Eliza Emily Thomson..." He did the whole speech thing again, but this time it was confident and clear, and he did it all with his eyes wide open. Jane was strangely proud of him, "...I love you; I miss you; I want to be with you every moment of every day! I'm here to ask you to take me back, just...please take me back and you will not regret it I promise!" He was met with another silence, looking up at Eliza with such a hopeful expression, he was adorable. He reminded Jane of his brother, how alike they were in that moment, it made her envious of her sister.

"Jonah, it's just not going to happen! I'm sorry!" Jonah looked down at the ground again, one hand across his heart like it was at the front door.

"But...why?" He looked back up at Eliza with such sadness, "Don't you love me? Has our time together meant so little to you?" Poor Jonah, Jane could see that his heart was breaking.

"Of course I love you! That's not the issue!" Eliza looked frustrated and sad, this had just been sprung on her and she didn't know how to let him down without hurting him.

"Then what else matters? We love each other! If it's the distance..."

"No, it's not that!" She waved his words away with her hand.

"Then what?" He was still on one knee, looking up at her, his eyes begging her for a reasonable answer as to why they couldn't be together, because he didn't have one, it was so clear and simple for him...love trumped everything!

"I do love you Jonah, I want to be with you but..." She got down on both of her knees and clasped his hands in her own as he gazed into her eyes with hope and confusion, "...I'm twenty-two years old! I have my whole life ahead of me, after mum..." She trailed off and looked over at Jane, who nodded her approval of whatever she was about to say, "...I now know how precious life is! How every moment is a moment to be grateful for! I have dreams Jonah; I want a career and I want to travel and...I want to spend time with my sister after years of treating her like a complete stranger!"

"Yeah, and I won't get in the way of that, I'll never stop you from living your life baby! Just as long as I'm in it, I wanna marry you! I wanna have kids with you!" Eliza's face was mixed with horror, what twenty-two-year-old girl's face wouldn't be with talk of marriage and babies? "But I will never stop you from shining, I'll never stop you from pursuing your dreams! I'll support you; I'll help you; I-I-I'll do anything!" Eliza shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Jonah, please don't do this! Please don't make me feel any worse than I already do! I'm too young for marriage and babies, I don't even know who I am, I need time! I need time to grow and to learn and find out who Eliza Thomson really is! I've got so many plans, but..." Both Jonah and Eliza were sniffing back tears, Jane didn't know what to do so she remained in the doorway looking on helplessly, "...they don't involve you, at least not right now, I just want us to be friends. Please say you understand! Please don't hate me!" Jonah smiled sadly and placed a hand on her face, then he kissed her gently on the lips.

"I understand, I don't like it, but I understand! God, I love you so much!" Jane left them alone then, as they hugged and cried in each other's arms. She was proud of her sister, albeit sad for her and for Jonah, but if they truly were meant to be together, then he would wait for her to find herself. It would all work out in the end. All Jane wanted to do at that moment was to talk to Jensen about all of this, get his take on it, but he wasn't interested in talking to her anymore...he had the beautiful Chloe with her tanned, endless legs. Why would he care if Jonah and Eliza weren't together? His career and his love life were doing great, Jane was now but a distant memory!

***

Jensen had scoured every social media platform Jane was on for evidence that she was dating that annoying Corey Tyler, he found none. Chloe was just trying to piss him off, well it worked, and he'd been giving her the cold shoulder ever since. Landon's stress levels were at a healthy low as he did what he promised, he did right by Jensen and sat Chloe down to have a few words. She'd supposedly burst into tears and declared her love for Jensen, much to Landon's dismay, it had gotten too much for him and he drafted in his wife Sarah to deal with the crying. Landon also insisted that Jensen take Chloe out for dinner and that they have a proper talk about the whole thing, be honest with each other and let their feelings out in the open. He didn't want to do it, but he also didn't want Landon having a breakdown, so he chose the former thing he didn't want and took Chloe to dinner. "Look I know that you have this weird infatuation going on with that Jane girl but..." Chloe sighed, swiping a stray hair from her huge eyelashes with her pinkie, "...Jensen she's with someone! You lied! Landon told me all about your thing with her and quite frankly..." She fiddled with the cutlery in front of her and let out a deep sigh, "...I'm here, right in front of you! You never know, you might like me by the end of this dinner!" He very much doubted it, she was far too grabby for his liking. She was always squeezing parts of him that were not for squeezing or she was rubbing up against him, yes that was still a thing.

"I agreed to this so we could clear the air, this is not a date Chloe!" She pouted at him, his exasperated tone didn't go unnoticed, "I didn't lie about Jane, she is in my heart! As for you inferring that she's involved with that beach dick Corey Tyler, I see no evidence whatsoever that they're a thing, and anyway..." Jensen scoffed, "...where would she even meet him in the first place?" Chloe was scrolling through her phone with a smirk on her face, was she even listening? A waiter whizzed past them as she brushed his arm, not looking up from her scrolling.

"Hey, sweetie will you bring us some champagne please?" Jensen slammed his fist on the table and yelled at her.

"Damn it Chloe, don't you listen? I'm a fucking alcoholic!" A few other diners turned to look in their direction, a couple of producers and actors that Jensen knew from awards shows and after parties. It wasn't a secret, so he didn't care who heard, however this whole dinner thing was not helping his case for denying there was anything going on between them. Chloe was unmoved by his angry outburst as she shoved her phone in his face.

"There! See? You wanted evidence! There it is!" Jensen looked at the photo Chloe was trying to show him, it was of Jane with a male figure. Corey Tyler was towering over her holding her arms and looking down into her eyes. Jane's expression was hard to read, but they were definitely standing together, that asshole was even touching her, touching his Jane!

"Where is this?" Jensen mumbled, "Is it a photoshop?" Chloe let out a sarcastic chuckle and shook her head.

"Oh Jensen, they met at Dexter Maloney's gallery exhibit in London! Look, it's not doctored in any way, if it was, they'd slim her down a bit don't you think?" Chloe's smirk made his blood boil as Jensen scraped back his chair and stood up.

"Okay I've had enough of your shit Chloe!" He bent down and placed his clenched fists on the table, his face level with hers and added, "Don't you EVER talk about her in that way! DO YOU UNDERSTAND???" Chloe recoiled in horror as Jensen screamed in her face. The restaurant fell deathly silent as he straightened up and surveyed the room. "What? What the fuck are you looking at, huh?"

"Jensen you're embarrassing me!" Chloe mumbled, her eyes damp as she blinked several times and scanned the tables full of their peers.

"Like I give a rat's ass! Fuck you Chloe!" He pointed his index finger at her and narrowed his eyes, "You stay away from me, understand?" Standing outside in the fresh air, he looked up at the sky and wanted to hit something. He wasn't sure what he was so angry about, Chloe's comments about Jane or the fact that Jane actually knew Corey Tyler, that Corey Tyler had his hands on her and she was looking up at him. She wasn't dating him, it was impossible, he wasn't her type, and she was so much better than that...so much better than Corey and Jensen combined! She deserved better; she deserved the whole world! There was no way that douche could give her everything, no way in hell! He had his fucking hands on her! Ian drew up next to him in the alley where he was hiding and rolled the passenger window down.

"Ready to go boss?"

"Yeah, more than ready!" He replied quietly and jumped into the car.

The following day, sitting next to Landon and a couple of producers for the movie, Jensen realised that his outburst the night before had made ripples and not good ones. "So, Jensen my friend..." Landon began, unable to look him in the eyes, "...you need to reel it in somewhat..." He looked so uncomfortable as the producers sat at either side of him, watching him and studying his every word, "...you need to apologise to Chloe brother, you really do!" He seemed relieved to get that whole sentence out as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his hands down his thighs. Jensen hung his head and thought this through.

"Well, the thing is that she owes me an apology too! I feel violated if I'm honest!" The two producers stared at him with wide eyes as a small smile formed on Landon's face, "She's been sexually harassing me since we started and...well what am I to do about that?" A small giggle emitted from Landon as he covered his mouth and looked down at his lap. Producer one then spoke.

"Jensen, this is a serious accusation!"

"I know!" Jensen replied breathily, throwing his hands up in the air for dramatic effect, "But you know, inappropriate touching aside, she tried to get me drunk last night and that's why I lost it! You know how hard I've worked to control my addiction!" Jensen laid it on thick as Landon's giggle erupted into a fully blown raucous laugh as the producers looked to one another with concerned expressions. It was well known that Jensen Reed had alcohol issues, Chloe was well aware of that fact, if this didn't get her to back off...then nothing would.

"Jensen, what can we do to, um, persuade you to overlook this?" Jensen looked at Landon who had completely lost it and smiled.

"I suppose I could forget about it if the studio is prepared to quit pushing the whole co-star romance thing, maybe!" He shrugged as Landon shook his head with a huge grin.

"You sneaky little fucker!" He whispered as the two producers agreed to Jensen's terms. After they'd left, Landon placed a hand on his shoulder, "You know I really had no idea where you were going with the sexual harassment thing at one point, I was fucking shitting my pants! I thought my movie was fucked!"

"I wouldn't do that to you Landon! I like Chloe, I acknowledge that she has issues and she's young...but I can't have people thinking she's my girlfriend! I'm sorry, that's a step too far and you knew that!" Landon nodded in agreement and patted him on the back, "She needs to know that too!" Then Landon's smile faded when Jensen uttered his final words, "Or I'm out!"

The real reason for Jensen's resentment towards Chloe Cornell was not her insistent touching, it wasn't the fact that she threw petrol on the raging fire of their romance rumour, it wasn't because she'd ordered champagne and ignored the fact that he was an alcoholic, it wasn't even that she'd insulted Jane's appearance. It was because she had made the Corey Tyler thing real, she'd shown him tangible evidence that he couldn't ignore, that he couldn't unsee! That was why he hated her, that was why he'd screamed at her, that was why he could no longer allow people to think he was involved with her in any way, shape, or form! That was her crime, she made Jane's involvement with Corey real! From that moment on, Jensen felt pain, he had no idea where the pain was coming from, but he hurt all the time. He could barely concentrate on anything; he flubbed his lines and he found it difficult to be around his co-star. Landon's impressively long hair was falling out over the tension between his two leads and Jensen couldn't do anything about it, he hurt so much! Landon found him in his trailer, staring at an unopened bottle of Jack, and he was understandably angry. "Jensen? What the fuck man?" He grabbed the bottle and threw himself down beside him, "Don't you dare do this!" Jensen had never seen him so emotional, it snapped him back into reality.

"I just like to look at it from time to time!"

"Where did you get this!" Landon demanded, pointing at the heavy bottle in his hand.

"It's amazing what people will do for a rock star!" He chuckled and lay his head in his hands, "I wasn't gonna drink it I swear!"

"Said the alcoholic!" Landon muttered angrily, "You have to get your shit together little brother! Don't make me regret all of this! Don't make me regret putting my faith in you!" Jensen could feel him studying his face, "What's with you? It's not the Chloe thing, I know that much! In fact, you took that whole situation way too seriously kid! I can't help you if you don't tell me!" Jensen spilled everything to Landon, the Corey Tyler rumour that Chloe had made real during their dinner. He listened carefully and he didn't judge, but he was still very angry with him. "You can't turn to the bottle my friend! You just can't!"

"I know, I fucking know!" Jensen cried; he was just so tired of it all.

"I think you should call Doctor Jenna! Before there's no going back!" He was right, it was time for some intervention!

Doctor Jenna Riley arrived on the movie set the following day, accompanied to Jensen's trailer by Landon himself, opening the door to her smiling face gave him a sense of hope as she cocked her head to the side and greeted him, "Hello Jensen, long time no see!"

***

Jane had saved some money from the gallery gig, and she was going to buy some craft supplies with it. That was until she saw her sister glued to her laptop watching YouTube videos of special effects make-up tutorials. Eliza had expressed her interest in working in the film industry as a make-up artist, there was an intensive course down in London that lasted two weeks and it was pricey. Eliza was so passionate about it that Jane secretly enrolled her and paid for it with her own money. It was her twenty third birthday in a week and this would make the ideal present, since their dad was at a loss as to what to buy his youngest daughter, Jane was going to give this to Eliza from both of them. She was so excited to see her face when she found out she was going, Jane was bad with surprises and she wanted to tell her straight away, it was a struggle, but she was going to wait. Eliza and Jonah had agreed to remain friends and keep the option of them rekindling their romance open. She wasn't saying no to him forever, she was just putting their love on hold, which Jane could understand, as Eliza had said, she was still very young. Jane was having her own man troubles in the shape of irritating tanned beanpole Corey Tyler who had started following every social media account she had, and he bombarded her with messages constantly, then there were the messages from a handful of newspapers asking her about her relationship with Corey. She ignored and blocked them all, there was no relationship, how did they even find out that he was bugging her? At least they didn't know where she lived, neither did Corey Tyler, which was a relief. No turning up on her doorstep like the Reed brothers, just the odd parcel or flower arrangement now and again. She could handle that; besides he'd soon get bored and move onto the next poor girl he took a shine to.

It was Eliza who pointed out the offending photograph that had sparked the media's curiosity. It was a photo of her and Corey at Dexter Maloney's exhibition, she had to admit it did look questionable, with his hands on her arms looking down at her with his Labrador puppy eyes. Well as long as they were never seen together again, this would all fizzle out soon enough. There hadn't been much in the media about Jensen and his girlfriend, they seemed to be very private about their relationship during the final months of filming the story of Landon Ellis' life. They had been filming together for six months and the project was finally complete, Jonah had started talking to Jensen again and Juliet had given birth to a baby girl named Madelaine Stephanie Reed-Dean. Jane and Eliza had sent a gift that was shaped like a bouquet of pink and white flowers but was actually rolled up baby grows and socks. Still Jensen kept his distance, Jane heard nothing from him, and it stung, even though she knew he had someone else in his life, it hurt to think that their ten days together now meant nothing to him.

***

In actual fact, Jensen was dying to contact Jane, especially now since he was seeing Doctor Jenna Riley on a weekly basis. After his argument with Chloe and his almost fall from grace four months before, Jensen felt the need to keep his appointments with the good Doctor for purely preventative reasons. She was helping a great deal, but his biggest addiction was always going to be Jane, the pull to message her was so strong that it took everything he had not to. His baby niece was a nice distraction though, little Maddie, he was so in love! She was blonde like her daddy, but she had her momma's eyes. Jensen couldn't stay away from her, he wanted to cuddle her all the time. Jonah wasn't as enthusiastic as Jensen, but he loved his niece just as much. Juliet had babysitters coming out of her ears with her mother and brothers, but when it came to Charlie, things weren't great. She called off the engagement a few days after Maddie's birth and asked him if they could just be friends and co-parent. Jensen was relieved but also sorry that his sister would be a single mother. At least she had all of them to help her out, something that Jensen was doing when he wasn't in the studio with Jonah working on their latest album. Jensen changed diapers, he bathed Maddie and gave her bottles, he was loving the whole experience. Sweater Boy visited on a daily basis; he was still a hands-on dad even though the mother of his child didn't want to be with him. All in all, things were going great, Jensen would see Landon a few times a week too and have dinner with the Ellis family, another baby for him to play with in little Amelia. Landon's movie was in post-production, and he was getting stressed again, but Sarah knew how to keep him grounded, Jensen wished that he had a Sarah. He'd managed to stave off Chloe Cornell after a very rocky couple of months where neither of them spoke off set. They buried the hatchet though and were now good friends, even meeting up for the odd coffee or brunch which had the tabloids wetting themselves over the are they or aren't they question. Jensen didn't care, not even if Jane saw, she had Corey Tyler anyway, didn't she? That was another reason why he wasn't going to get in touch, he didn't want that whole shit show rammed down his throat! He didn't want to see her with someone else, it was too much for him, so he kept away. Life was pretty relaxed, making music and just chilling out, until one day Jensen received an unexpected phone call, "Hey Jensen!" His father Martin, "Please don't hang up, I-I need to talk to you! This is important!"

"What do you want?" He was going to hear him out, after his mother's revelations a while back, he owed him that much.

"I don't want to do this over the phone, I need to see you and your sister and brother. Will-will you meet with me? Son?" Son, yeah just drop that in there!

"When and where do you wanna meet?" They arranged a time and a place, but Jensen couldn't guarantee that Juliet and Jonah would agree to come, "Look I can't promise you that they'll be there, you understand that, right?"

"I do, but I'd really appreciate it if they could. Will you come, Jensen? Son?"

"I'll come, but it doesn't change anything between us, I'm just doing what's right, understand?"

"I do, I do! You're a good man Jensen, I'm so proud of you!" Proud of an addict who almost killed himself twice? Really?

Jensen didn't tell his siblings or his mother about the phone call from his dad. He went to meet him, at a park in downtown Los Angeles, by himself to get the lay of the land before involving anyone else. He didn't want Juliet or Jonah to be hurt again by their father. "Thanks for coming!" Martin nodded, sitting on a bench, he didn't get up. He looked frail, his hair was greyer than Jensen remembered, and he had a walking stick beside him.

"So, what is so important?"

"Did your brother and sister not want to see me?"

"I haven't told them you've been in touch; I didn't want them to get hurt again!" Martin nodded with a sad smile.

"Always the protector, aren't you son?" He looked up at him, he looked so tired and thin, "Will you sit down?" Jensen hadn't noticed that he was still standing, so he took a seat next to him, "That's better, you're so like your mother!"

"Yeah well, we all are, maybe that's the price you pay for abandoning us as children, your genes didn't get passed down to any of us!" Jensen looked straight ahead; he didn't want to look at his father.

"I left, that was my only crime! I tried to be in your life, but your mother told me that my children hated me and wanted nothing to do with me..."

"I know, mom told me everything, right before I ended up in rehab after almost dying!" Martin sighed loudly and put a hand on Jensen's shoulder.

"I wanted to visit you then too, but I was told you weren't allowed visitors! Well, non-family members they said, but I'm sure Steph had warned them not to let me in, as usual! She was bitter for a long time, she still is!" Martin shook his head, his breathing was laboured, Jensen was beginning to realise what he wanted to tell his children. "The reason I wanted to meet with you is because, well there's no easy way to say this but..."

"You're sick!" Jensen finished the sentence for him.

"I am, yes. A while back I was getting headaches and I was losing my balance, hence this infernal contraption." He pointed down at the walking stick Jensen had spotted when he arrived, "Turns out I have a brain tumour, stage four Glioblastoma. I'm dying son!" Jensen's legs felt weak as his breath caught in his throat.

"Is there nothing they can do?" He could barely form words, what was coming out was basic at best, he couldn't cope with larger sentences.

"It's too late, I've got months!" Jensen was feeling an overwhelming sense of deja-vu, this was what Mr Thomson had told his daughters when their mother was sick, this must have been how Jane felt! There was a long silence, then Martin broke it, "I saw that movie you did; you deserved that Oscar son, you were amazing!"

"I've won two!" Jensen mumbled.

"I know, I saw both those movies and I watched you collect both of those awards! I might not be around, but I'm always watching!"

"I'm sorry dad!" Hot tears stained Jensen's cold cheeks, still he could hardly say anything, this had come as more of a shock than he ever imagined. Why though? He hardly knew his father; he was practically a stranger!

"No need son, death is a part of life. I've made my peace with it, but I have so many unresolved feelings when it comes to my older children. Lucy and Ava know their father, you and Juliet and Jonah...well...I've got so many things to say and so little time!" That sad smile on his face, it was heart breaking, "I love all my children, always have and always will! I tried to fight to be in your lives, but I just grew tired of fighting, and I let you go, it's a mistake that will go with me to my grave which won't be long now!"

"I'll help you and Arlene and the girls, I have money, maybe there's some new treatment we can try?"

"You haven't changed a bit; you were always such a kind and caring little boy! You're just the same, only now you're a man!" Martin wiped his eye, was that a tear? "Is there a lucky lady in your life?" Now that was a question, one that would take too long to answer in this cold park.

"Oh, you know, eternal bachelor, that's me!" They both chuckled and continued to chat for a couple more minutes until Jensen insisted that his dad get home into the warm. They arranged to meet again, and Jensen promised to talk to Juliet and Jonah. As they said their goodbyes, Martin repeated what he'd said on the phone.

"I'm so proud of you, please always remember that!" Jensen headed back to the car, where Ian waited for him, his heart was heavy, and his mind was in overdrive. It was his responsibility to break this news to his siblings, and he was not looking forward to it!

⏮️Previous/Next⏭️

#YouAreTheReason #writeblr #writerblr #writing #writing community #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #wattpad #story #story telling #tw alcohol #tw addiction #tw illness #tw cancer

[gabsandmonsters]

Lmaooo yooo like what the actual fuck is this??? Obviously this is about me, but yikes yikes yikes. Fucking yikes. This is psycho. You look crazy. This is horrible and embarrassing. You should delete it. I don’t deserve to be viewed this way and you know it. So does everyone else.

WHO was really good at manipulation? Because if I recall correctly, it was you. You were playing me and Mikayla for months and neither of us knew how deep it really was. So fine, keep projecting. Everybody knows I’m not the bad guy here. I don’t think you’re angry at me, you’re really just angry at yourself. I didn’t fuck you up, you fucked yourself up. It’s time you start accepting that as fact and get away from the delusion you created where I’m “just another cunt you had to let go of.” I had to let go of YOU. I had to walk away from YOU because of what you were doing to me. I was tired of begging you to treat me with basic human decency and respect. I left you for my own good. There’s nothing you can do or say that can take away from that.

I truly do not and will never understand what it is you’re so angry about or why you decided to hate me all of a sudden. Essentially you’re just angry at me for being angry at you. And we’ve already covered the part about me telling your girlfriend the truth. Funny, seems I’m the only one around here who’s actually capable of doing that. Telling the truth. Being honest with myself and being honest with other people, too. But we didn’t even interact at all last night so like, where did this post come from? Looks like you have some unresolved feelings about me. Looks like seeing me again pissed you off. I hope it made you uncomfortable.

I’ve been thinking about what I would say to you and Mikayla if I ever saw you out in public. The one and only reason I didn’t go near you last night was Gilad. He asked me not to cause a scene, for him. Out of love and respect for him I stayed away from you, but having you both so close to me the entire time was a special kind of hell.

I heard your girl was on one last night. I heard she was super drunk, making out with whoever and just being straight up messy. Again, yikes. What’s hilarious is that I was dancing with the same girl she was dancing with an hour before but she was way too aggressive so I ditched her. When I was dancing I turned around for a hot second and saw the two of them all over each other. I just laughed. It was cringe. I can’t speak on the situation but your face didn’t look happy.

Somebody told me “Mikayla is worse than Gordy” whatever that means. Someone told me she’s bad news. Not good for you. Again all I could do was laugh because like, karma. You made the wrong choice and got stuck with a hot mess of a person instead of someone like me. Somehow you forgot what kind of person I am, you forgot everything I ever did and said that proved how good I am, and that’s okay. If you wanna be angry at me then go ahead. Keep convincing yourself I’m terrible if it helps you process losing me, if it makes it not hurt as much, if it nurses your fragile ego. I don’t care if you think I’m a cunt. I’m light as a feather.

Good riddance to YOU, love. I’m happy Mikayla is out here embarrassing you now instead of you out there embarrassing us both. I’m happier and much better off without you.

#August 21 2022

[s1ater]

don’t tell.

pairings. mattheo riddle x fem!reader

about. mattheo can’t help but want his best mates girl and couldn’t be more thrilled when he finds out the attraction goes both ways

warnings. foul language, smut; degradation, creampie, cheating

ricky rocks. 🪺 it kills me that this story has a community label

the one thing mattheo couldn’t have in his life, he never thought it’d be a girl.

girls came easy, but they were never anything that came to mind too much; he had other things to worry about, things to do.

but he’d never thought that that girl, the girl he wanted, would be one of his best friends girl.

none of his friends were ever loyal, none of them except theo. he was a sucker for those long term relationships because the type of girls who were only looking for one night stands and hook ups made him annoyed and had more issues than he could deal with, it was too bad he got stuck with one exactly like that.

you loved theo, more than anyone, but old habits died hard. especially with all of theo’s friends breathing down your neck, begging for a taste.

but you never gave in, not until mattheo.

when you first met him, he didn’t say a word to you. you weren’t even aware of him half the time, his presence was forgettable till your eyes always seemed to find his and his body always seemed to be pressed up against yours in your dreams.

it soon became very obvious who you wanted and he knew it when he was no longer the one initiating the starring—giving him the go ahead to push your buttons.

“i’ll fuck you straight.”

“yeah, you wish riddle,” you starred back at him with a challenging look, “good luck on getting the chance.”

he scoffed, “you act like you’re so loyal.”

you immediately frowned in annoyance, “and you act like you’re all that.”

he smiled, leaning over to your level, “because i am.”

you rolled your eyes, looking him up and down with what looked like disgust, “hop off your throne, riddle. i love my boyfriend.”

“it sure doesn’t seem like it when you’re looking at me,” he tipped his head slightly, a fake expression of thought coming over his face, “you better work on that, y/n, otherwise i’m not going to be the only one who notices.”

he walked away, but some part of you wished he hadn’t and that the looks you two shared, would be caught on to, so you could just get it over with and finally get to fuck him.

that came sooner rather than later—but not how you thought. the opportunity was practically handed to the two of you when half the boys were out for gallivanting down in the forbidden forest and theo had told you to wait for him in the common room.

it was too bad he was running late.

“why don’t you sit down?” mattheo’s stare was narrowing and studying as he motioned you to sit in the big black leather chair across from him. “you’ve got a while longer to wait.”

you scoffed, “alright, but i’m sure theo-“

“who cares about theodore, he’s probably fucking around with a blonde from ravenclaw, anyway.”

the sentence caught you off guard and made you slightly pause as you sat down. you sure he was just messing with you, but with the right motivation and pressure, theo could get convinced into anything—maybe even fucking around with a blonde ravenclaw.

“he wouldn’t do that.”

“right, because you’re the cheater in the relationship.”

you scowled at him, but your cheeks turned hot at the truth of his words. he knew you well for some reason. he knew you weren’t honest—never in any relationship had you ever been in—and he knew you were also easily pressured into things.

“why don’t you show me something,” he nodded toward you, “don’t try to hide your true colors now that we’re alone.”

“piss off.”

“now don’t he so harsh.”

you rolled your eyes, thinking, thinking how wrong this was but still stood up from your seat across from him, and you still slowly glided toward him while your fingers grasped the top buttons of your pure white blouse, “don’t tell.”

“no promises,” he grinned, sipping from the bottle of booze he held as you were now in front of him, slowly leaning before him still teasing the unbuttoning of your shirt.

“mattheo,” you whined, but still continuing with your actions, giving him a peak of your black laced bra. “you’re not being nice.”

he pulled you to his lap roughly, causing you to gasp as you were now straddling him, “why would i?” his fingers reached where yours were, helping you unbutton the material of your shirt, “you’re so damn teasing all the time.”

you rocked your hips forward, pouting at his words, “shame.” mattheo’s breath became uneven for the slightest second, his eyes dragging up to yours at the feeling of your heat pressing onto his cock.

“you’re a fucking, cunt,” he scoffed, shaking his head with a slight smirk on his face. “don’t act like you don’t want this as much as i do.”

“sure, mattheo,” you tauntingly smiled, rocking back and forth again before pressing your lips against his. he immediately kissed back, his hands slowly pulling the blouse from your arms.

he smelled good and he felt good—you felt you could barely get enough despite how close he was with his arms wrapped around you now, pulling you closer and closer till his chest was pressed against yours.

he was making you desperate, real desperate with his taunting that you could barely keep up the returning taunting facade.

“let me cum in your mouth, yeah?” he pulled away and was already unbuckling his belt from beneath you, cuing you to get off the chair and to your hands and knees as he stood, “be a good girl, suck me off, y/n.”

you nodded slowly, deciding whether if this was really okay… but you suddenly didn’t care, especially when your mouth started watering the moment his cock sprung from his boxers, thick and waiting for you.

“ready, love,” he didn’t wait for your words and he barely waited for you; his hips meeting your mouth, eager, “fuck,” you eased your mouth down his length, eyes already watering even before the tip of his cock touched the back of your throat.

“such a fucking good girl,” he grunted, his hand twirling a make shift pony tail of your hair while his head tipped back, his mind filling of bliss with each suck you took. “you love my cock, don’t you?”

he thrusted into your mouth, face fucking you, helping you induce pleasure as you tried to keep up by running and swirling your tongue along his length.

you couldn’t even think to answer, or hum, or anything. you were enjoying it too much and couldn’t help let your mind travel already to fast to the thought of him fucking you.

you could tell he wanted to just by how much enjoyment he was getting from this.

and he pulled out abruptly, leaving spit and precum running down your chin with teary eyes, “let me cum inside you, show theo who really owns your body.”

you let him lay you down against the cold floor, his body hovering over yours as he undone his dress shirt before pulling it off fast with eager fingers, that watched you with dark eyes.

you watched anxiously, your eyes eating every inch of his body and the scars that decorated his tan skin. your chest heaved up and down, your heart pounding, underestimating what he might do with the stare he had.

he gripped his cock, stroking it roughly before laying on your body fully, hiking up your skirt and pushing your parties to the side. he kissed you softly before pushing into you, prompting a sharp whine to resonate from your lips, “take it.”

your hands gripped his shoulders as he slowly inched into you before harshly shoving his full length into your cunt, immediately catching into your sweet spot. a high moan released into the air as your stomach rumbled with pleasure and pain to your walls from just barely getting used to the thickness of his cock.

“fucking whore,” he continued to fuck into you as his mouth began to speak nasty words that made your stomach twist in pleasure, whimpering as he spoke. “you love your boyfriend’s best mate using you like a doll?”

you gasped as his hand caught your face, gripping it harshly, “of course you do,” he smiled devilishly before, slapping the side of your hip, “get on your knees.”

you whimpered as you did so, his hands immediately gripping your hips and continuing to fuck you stupid the moment he pushed into you again. his finger tips pained you as he pressed hard enough to leave bruises.

“i want him to know who fucked you this good,” his hand grasped your throat, pulling you closer to his body as his mouth hovered over your ear before sucking and biting on your neck. “i want him to see what a dirty little whore you are, taking me without denial.”

“mattheo, please,” you whined, grabbing his hand that lied on your hip, “please don’t.”

“don’t what, huh?”

“please don’t leave marks.”

you could feel his cock twitch to the whine of your voice, a grunt resonating from his mouth. he didn’t say a word to reply but began to savor the few minutes left of his high, roughly pumping in and out of you as you moaned—soon coming upon your own.

“who fucks you better, huh?” he leaned back near your face, “me or him, tell me?“

“you mattheo,” you stuttered, feeling your vision go blurry and your limbs grow numb the moment his high came undone and pushed cum deep into your cunt, leaving you marked.

“that’s what i thought.”

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[raggaraddy]

your writing is amazing 🥺

could i ask for a yoongi version of the reader being shot because of them? your other ones are so good!!!

Family affairs

@dramaclub-thin

A/N: Thank you, sweetheart! I'm glad you're enjoying the series. This one has a bit of OT7 and I hope you like it too. 💜💜💜

If anyone else wants to request, you can here.

Other parts:

Namjoon

Jimin

Taehyung

Jungkook

Summary: You'd tried so hard to hide your relationship with Yoongi from your father. You knew when he found you were dating someone from a rival club that he'd kill you. You just didn't think it would be literal.

Trigger warnings: Violence, Filicide, Blood, gun usage.

Yoongi

Mafia! Yoongi

Mafia! BTS

"Yes Daddy," you poke your head through the door to his office with a little knock. Normally you would never bother your father while he was working, but one of your brothers came to your room to let you know he was calling for you.

"Ah, Darling. Yes, have a seat." He stands up from his desk, gesturing to the chair ahead of him. "I need your advice on something."

For a moment you get a flutter in your stomach. He never asks you for anything. Your his pretty princess on a pedestal. And he never involves you in anything that a woman wouldn't have been responsible for in the 1950s.

"Of course," you smile, shifting comfortably.

"I know you're tech-savvy, so maybe you can explain this to me. I had some photos printed, but I think there must be something wrong with the camera. Have a look,"

Reaching into his desk drawer as he speaks he pulls out a stack of A4 photos. As he lays them out your eyes jump straight back up at him. Checking for his reaction, a sharp pang of absolute fear hitting you. They're pictures of you and Yoongi, his arm around you when you were coming out of the Bangtan clubhouse.

"I know the camera has to be faulty, because that" he tapes your image, "looks like you. And I know my one and only daughter wouldn't be socializing with those Bulletproof scum."

"Daddy, I-I," you stutter with no idea what to say.

You thought you were so clever, so careful that there was no way he'd ever find out. Even when Yoongi would worry about you possibly being caught you would shrug it off. Your love was invincible and meant to be, and you were smart. No chance your family would ever know you're with Yoongi, and no way his family would ever know you were from a rival gang. As far as they knew, you were just Y/n Brown, the hairdresser from one district over.

But clearly, you weren't careful or clever enough.

Your stark silence is loud enough for your father and he nods a sombre confirmation. "How long Y/n?" He questions.

"Daddy, I don't-"

"How long?!" He's quick to anger, making you jump.

"A few months," you lie, your eyes dropping to your lap. Telling him it's been closer to 18 months is only going to enrage him further.

Slumping back into his office chair he lets out a heavy sigh.

"You think you raise your kids right. To know loyalty and family." He derides looking at you fiercely. "But then you find out your own daughter will open her legs for any cretin. In complete disregard of everything she should know."

You knew it would be awful if he ever found out, you know he is a terrifying dangerous man, but hearing your father's derogatory comments are harder to take than you ever expected.

"What did you tell them?" He sits forward. His demeanour, his expression going from disappointed father to cold mafioso.

Your mouth going dry, you swallow hard. Shaking your head softly. "Nothing."

"Bullshit!" He yells. "You expect me to believe they just let the daughter of Bastille get all cosy with one of the 7 without you giving up something."

This is so bad. You knew your parents, your brothers, the entire Bastille would disown you for this, but they'll actually kill you if they think you've sold them out.

"No. I didn't tell them anything. None of them knows who I am. Only Yoongi knows. And I didn't tell him shit. You know I wouldn't." You defend yourself trying to reign in your distress.

"Well, there's a lot of things I wouldn't think a daughter of mine could do." His voice is so detached. He's stopped looking at you. This is so so bad.

"Dad. I didn't say anything." You restate, fighting to convince him. Feeling like you're trying to prove the case for your own life. "I know the rules. Don't talk to anyone. Not cops. Not friends or enemies." You repeat the words that had been drilled in your entire childhood. You knew nothing, you saw nothing. Those are the rules.

"I don't believe you." He says bitterly.

Your hands are trembling, you're panting heavily. You know being with a rival club member is a stupid thing, but the clubs are in a truce.  And despite your father's opinion, you would never be so stupid as to actually say anything. And Yoongi would never let you, even if you decided to. You did one thing wrong, but you made sure you did everything else right.

Leaning back, he opens his phone book. Searching for a number.

"Dad," You plead for his attention. Raising the phone to his ear he shushes you, placing a finger over his mouth.

You have no idea what to do. You've seen him decimate people for so much less than what he's accusing you of. You don't know how to prove your innocence.

The call answers and you can hear a distant 'hello'.  Putting the phone on speaker he puts the receiver down.

"Warren L/n here. I believe I have something of yours," he says.

"What are you talking about?" You inhale a staggered breath, hearing the familiar gruff voice of Kim Namjoon.

Your dad's plan was simple. If you were telling the truth about Bangtan not knowing who you were, their leader would be confused and concerned that you were with the leader of Bastille. But if they knew who you were, this would be a much more straightforward issue. Namjoon would understand right away why he was calling.

And if you were lying about one thing, he could assume you were lying about more.

"Say hello Y/n." Your dad prompts, his look daring you to refuse.

"Hi," You squeak, nervously chewing the inside of your cheek. Your own safety aside, Namjoon was going to kill Yoongi.

There's a brief pause. The background noise on Namjoon's side disappearing. "Kidnapping women? I didn't realise you were handling that personally now."

"Who said kidnap?" he leads the conversation.

"Then maybe you want to explain what one of our girls is doing with you?" Namjoon growls, sounding protective.

That was enough confirmation for your father. The leader didn't know what was going on. But he was about to.

On Namjoons side of the line, he was pacing back and forth in a closed meeting room at the entrance of the clubhouse. Your father was revealing the secret that you and Yoongi had fought so hard to keep.

The phone call ending, Namjoon was in a rage. Marching across the bar he stormed at the table with other members around it. His maddened expression drawing Yoongi's attention. But the older member didn't have any reason to think this fury was directed at him and so he doesn't react quick enough as Namjoon punches him in the face, knocking him from his chair.

The other boys instantly becoming alert, Jungkook jumps to Namjoons side holding his arm out in front of him, looking ready to intervene. Jimin standing between the floored Yoongi and the enraged leader.

"Hyung, what the hell ar-" Jimin snaps.

"You fucking idiot! Bastille's daughter?!" he roars trying to push through Jimin. Jungkook stepping in to help keep him at bay.

Climbing back to his feet, nursing a split lip, Yoongi's eyes go wide. Completely caught off guard by Namjoon's revelation. "How did you-" he gapes.

"Everything she's seen, everything she knows! Do you have any idea how much you've exposed this club?" He lunges again, bowling the mediating members out of the way. Diving through Yoongi, the two men trade blows as they scuffle on the floor.

The scene quickly gets out of hand, and as Yoongi throws Namjoon through a table, Jin and Hoseok come from a backroom to step in also. The four of them now working to pry the two battling men apart. Jimin and Hoseok holding back Yoongi. The oldest and youngest members trying to keep Namjoon at bay.

"Enough!" Jin scolds with a firm shove to Namjoon's chest. "Someone explain what the hell is going on!"

"Just Suga thinking with his dick, instead of his brain." Namjoon spits.

Shirking off the boys, Yoongi barges forward infuriated by the provocative comment. War breaking out again with a solid hit at Namjoon, a gash opening over his eye. Another difficult struggle beginning for the members, grappling and clawing them apart. Having to fully restrain them to have them stop. Being held as they bleed.

Grabbing both of them by the collar, Jin demands their focus. "The next man who throws a punch leaves here with a bullet in his leg!" He growls. "Am I clear?!" His fist tightens, stiffening their necklines.

"Yes,"

"Yes, Hyung."

The two of them conceded, their energy dropping as their eldest releases them. "Good. Now sit down so we can talk this shit out."

It takes several minutes and a round of drinks, but the room calms down enough for the members to sit down. They send the few 2nd levels out and the 95's girlfriends. The bar remaining with only the 7 original members. Taehyung coming back just as the disclosure began.

Namjoon starts, passing along the information your father had given him. The 6 of them all sharing disappointed, worried or angry glances towards Yoongi.

"She wouldn't have said anything." Yoongi insists, after explaining his side also. Trying to defend his decision. To defend you.

"You can't know that," Jimin argues, flumping back in his seat. Taking a sip with a pissed-off scowl on his face.

"Yeah, we've all been pussy blinded before. You're not thinking clearly." Jungkook snips.

"Maknae-" Yoongi warns. Getting tired of the disrespect that keeps getting thrown his way.

"Hey, watch it." Jin interrupts, correcting Jungkook's blunt attitude. The youngest shrugging, downing the last of his drink.

"Look, if she was giving information to L/n, then why would he call to tell you that he knows." Yoongi disputes. Hoping to bring reason back into the debate.

"He wants to trade. The latest shipment of horse for Y/n." Namjoon answers with a frustrated scoff and a roll of his eyes.

"That's close to 500 K. That's not happening," Hoseok jumps in. The rest of them firmly nodding in agreement.

"Okay, but if that's the case. If he's trying to sell her off, that means she's not working with him. Right?" Taehyung backs Yoongi's point.

"Idiot," Jimin shoves his friend, "It could be a part of the plan. A way to rip us off for half a million."

"Or it could be a set-up," Namjoon adds. "Let's say Hyung's right, and she isn't working with her old man. If we're willing to sit down, if we try to buy her back, it confirms that she knows enough that we're concerned about it."

"I'm telling you, she doesn't know anything. She didn't want to know anything. And even if she did, she's not gonna give it up." Again Yoongi vehemently defends you.

"Well if she doesn't give him anything then L/n kills her." Namjoon finalizes. "To hurt the club, and as retribution for her betrayal."

"What I don't understand is why you would let her go back? If you trust her and you know how ruthless Bastille is, why would you let her keep going back to him?" Jin asks, genuinely baffled.

Standing up Yoongi can't take anymore. He's furious. He's upset. At himself most of all. Feeling to blame for allowing you to be in this situation, he leaves in anger. Needing some time to himself to think.

"I don't know, she seemed pretty cool," Taehyung mutters, leaning into Namjoon. "You don't really think he would kill his own daughter, right?"

It's been 2 days and you've been locked in an empty storage shed at the edge of the property like a captive. Your father turned your world upside down looking for information. His people went through your computer, your phone, your car, your room. Everything that was yours he and his men had raided. And just like you said, there was nothing there. No information about Bastille, and nothing about Bangtan.

"Suga. I'm guessing that's Min Yoongi? Unless you're cheating on him." Your dad muses holding up your phone. That is so humiliating. So many nudes and dirty texts are in that chat. There may not be revealing information, but there was still plenty of personal stuff.

"You know Darling, I don't like to admit when I am wrong, but it looks like you were telling the truth. I can't find any proof that you gave up any family details." He smiles softly, your heart lifting with relief for a moment. "But then I was looking through your camera roll and, in the pictures where you actually have clothes on, it's just full of Bangtan." He comes further into the empty shed, leaning on the wall alongside you. Showing you the screen as he scrolls through. The only entrance being blocked by one of his more grizzly looking men. "See here, there's you and a bunch of them at a restaurant. There's you and the leader. You and the crazy one. Here's a family-style photo, isn't that nice."

He keeps scrolling through shot after shot, exhibiting an entire album full of Bangtan family pictures.

"I'm sure you never expected anyone else to see these. I guess I should have been teaching you not to put the same password for multiple devices." He scoffs. "But the interesting thing, when I'm going through these photos you seem to be really close with all of them. Some of these even go back to last year. Which makes the timeline you gave me a little off."

He shows the details of one of the pictures to you, the time stamp from when you had already been with Yoongi for 6 months.

"This one is from May 2nd. Last year. On the 10th those bastards stole one of my shipping containers. With nearly 100 grand worth of merchandise. Did you know about that?"

"You mean people." You sneer, his characterization of human trafficking as 'merchandise' making your skin crawl.

"So you did know." He smiles coldly.

"I found out- I knew after," you justify. Even as you continue to defend yourself, you have a sick feeling that it's all for nothing.

"I'm really curious what else you know." He hums, walking around the front of you to get back into your eye line.

"I don't know anything," you tell him for the 1000th time with an exasperated shake of your head. Moving away to the far side of the shed.

"Darling, I'm your father and I'm telling you we need to reconcile this. Your mother is worried sick. I'm here losing sleep over this. I'm giving you a chance to repay all the damage you've done. A chance to forget all this. You tell me everything you know about Bangtan, and just like that," he snaps his fingers, "you get to return to your comfortable life."

You don't trust his change in tone or his promises for a minute. You may not have known the darkest parts of who he is, but that's how you can be sure that his offer to forgive and forget is rubbish. Not even the father in him would let you forget a mistake. Especially one this major, not with the way he is reacting. And he's so much more brutal when it comes to Bastille.

"And if I don't?"

"Then you've betrayed your family. And we'll find out what we want to know in other ways." he taps the back of his hand in the other, symbolizing a beat down.

You shake your head hard. You might love your dad. But you don't like him. You've known for most of your life that he was a bad guy. And Yoongi, Bangtan, they might not be the good guys, but they've been the family you've always wanted. There is no way you were telling him even the most insignificant detail.

"Hit me all you want dad, I still don't know anything." You snarl.

"I could never hit my own daughter." He taps his heart, a feigned pained expression on his face. Nodding his head in your direction, he trades places with his man who advances on you.

Breathing hard you step back only to hit the wall.

The tall, square-built man swings. The back of his hand slapping your cheek, the force so strong that it smacks you into the corner sidewall. His hand, like a vice, grabs ahold of your head and mightily slams it into the steel beam running down the sheet metal wall. Pushing your hands against his chest, you weakly attempt to fend him off, but he ends your efforts with another solid wack against the frame.

As blood streams down your head, his focus switches. The majority of his attacks landing on your torso.

With you curled up on the floor, wheezing and gasping for breath, the assault finally stops. But not out of mercy. Even through the ringing in your ears, you can hear the outburst of gunfire in the distance.

Both your dad and his man rush out, leaving you locked away. While it's for an equally terrifying reason, you're thankful to have this time to catch your breath. Although every laborious intake brings agony.

After some time, light floods back into the room, your father standing in the doorway outlined by the setting sun. "I'm sorry Darling. If I had to do this, I hoped it would be a bit more ceremonious. But we don't have the time for that now."

You gasp at him raising his gun at you. He shoots three times. One in your chest, one in your shoulder and one in your stomach.

The shock, the impact takes the breath from you. And you can't draw it back in. Your eyes glassing over, your head filled with nothing but white noise. Feeling a fleeting moment of relief as everything goes quiet and dark.

"Fuck. No!" Yoongi howls. He, Jin and two 2nd ranks had chased after your father as he fled.

Bangtan's siege on his property was highly successful till that point, and he had run downhill to the storage garage. Looking to make a getaway.

The other's continue after him as Yoongi stumbles into you. His steely outer shell crumbling away the moment he sees your body limp and bleeding out.

Falling beside you he leans over shaking and in tears. Kissing your lips gently with heartfelt pleas "I'm sorry Y/n. I'm so sorry. Please don't do this. Please."

Jin doubles back, watching distraught from the entrance as his brother falls apart.

Lifting your head up, Yoongi brings your forehead to his. The movement making you splutter blood. The first sign of life that either of the men had seen.

"Holy fuck, she's alive." Jin gawks, jumping in beside Yoongi pressing on the hole in your stomach. The bullet in your shoulder and chest had both hit bone, stopping the slug from going through, blocking the wounds from severe blood loss. The bullet in your torso shot through your bowls and thankfully not through your vital organs. Meaning your chances of survival were much higher. It was either 3 highly unlucky shots or three precisely placed ones.

"I'm so sorry Y/n." Yoongi's in shock. Devastated and guilt-ridden, and unable to make himself function.

"Dude, get your shit together or she's not gonna make it." Jin smacks the side of his brothers head, snapping him out of his grief-stricken daze.

"Can you save her?" He asks rubbing the tears from his eyes.

"Not a chance. But I can keep her alive for a minute until we get to the clubhouse. Call the doc, tell him to meet us there." Jin orders, having much more clarity at this moment. "And get the boys to bring the car around. We're going to need a few of us to move her."

Yoongi follows Jin's lead, wiping the blood from his hands onto his pants to dial.

"Think of it this way," Jin smiles shortly, trying to soothe Yoongi's fear and panic with an ill-timed joke. "If she survives, at least she'll have proved she's Bangtan."

#bts fan fiction #bts reactions #bts fanfic #yandere bts #yandere bangtan #bts #bangtan #bangtan fanfic #yandere #bts yoongi #min yoongi #mafia!bts #Mafia!yoongi #bts yandere

[lxngbottom]

Cramps. | N.L. (+ D.T & S.F.)

in which the reader is having a really bad period, so her three best friends come and check up on her.

warnings: pain, periods, bleeding, swearing, we know how it is.

i’m on my period rn, & these three boys are my fav characters so this is mostly to comfort me (and idk if you guys can even relate, but my periods get THIS bad) (edit: this was NOT supposed to be this long but oh well i love these three)

gryffindor reader! (but anyone can read obv)

—

somehow, you had managed to make it through the previous school day. but, the whole time your stomach felt like it was completely turning on you, and with every step you took, the bleeding was so heavy. you couldn’t even remember the last time you went through so many pads and tampons in one day.

on top of that, you were an absolute emotional wreck. and, that became apparent to neville when seamus laughed over tripping over your shoe lace, and you looked up at your three best friends with tears in your eyes.

“merlin, y/n! i was only messing with you! what’s wrong?” seamus furrowed his eyebrows at you, only for you to bend down and groan in pain as you attempted to tie your loose shoe laces.

“i can’t do it!” you whined, a tear finally escaping your tired eyes. you stood up, and sniffled, not noticing the genuine concerned looks plastered across the three boys’s faces.

and then, if things couldn’t get any worse, you felt someone tap your shoulder. you turned around to meet a terrified looking ron and harry, staring down at your legs,

“y-y-y/n... blood! t-t-there’s blood running down your legs!”

you looked down, and sure enough, there was a bunch of it. you automatically began to cry, and the sobbing only got worse as you realized that this was happening in front of not one, not two, but five boys.

“nev—neville... p-please give me your jacket...” you choked out, rushing as the blood seeped between your thighs. he did so quickly, tossing it to you, and your tied it around your waist before running into the nearest bathroom.

“why would you point that out?” dean asked ron, eyeing him,

“what?! would it be better for her to stay like that the rest of the day?” the ginger snapped back, still not putting two and two together. ron wasn’t exactly wrong, but his execution was awful.

the boys sighed, deciding that maybe waiting outside the bathroom would do you some good. but, unfortunately, as 15 minutes passed, you never came out.

“m-m-maybe someone should go and get hermione. or lavendar. or one of the parvati twins?” neville suggested, scratching the back of his neck. seamus shrugged, honestly clueless on how to handle the whole situation.

luckily, a saving grace skipped by, grabbing the attention of all of the boys,

“ginny!” ron called out, and she stopped in her tracks, “thank merlin you’re here!”

the look on her face was questionable as harry, ron, neville, dean, and seamus all stared at her.

“w-what?”

dean spoke up first, more than concerned, “y/n went in there. she—she had—blood running down her legs. and, she started crying...”

that’s all it took for ginny to nod her head, “okay. you guys go ahead. i’ll take care of her!”

they did so reluctantly, more so your three best friends. as ron and harry wanted to be away from the whole scenario as soon as possible.

and, that was the last they heard from you yesterday. today, they waited for you to come down from the girl’s dorm, but you never came.

they waited for you in the great hall, but again, you never came.

little did they know, you were curled up in a ball on your bed, sobbing from the excruciating pain that filled your whole body. this cycle was hitting you like a truck, and you’d wished that somehow you had been more prepared for it.

hermione had left you reluctantly that morning, never seeing a fellow girl having such a bad period before. you had cried all night, and you and her both had barely gotten any sleep. so that’s why when neville saw hermione drifting off to sleep during a shared class, he was absolutely baffled.

as that same class ended, the three boys caught up with hermione,

“hey, granger! where’s y/n?” seamus asked, and she rubbed her eyes.

“she—um—“ a yawn interrupted her response, “she’s in our dorm. she doesn’t feel well.”

neville’s mouth went agape, and he finally put two and two together.

“i wouldn’t go and see her, though. you guys embarrassed her yesterday. she told me all about ronald, and ginny, and seamus. she’s really upset, and... she’s just in a lot of pain. so, just let her be for a while.”

and with that, she left the three boys. they gave each other weird looks, mentally questioning each other.

you on the other hand at this time, were crying as you changed out your bed sheets for the second time that day. it wasn’t necessarily the most comfortable experience to have to explain to a house elf why you needed a bunch of new clean sheets.

dinner soon came, and even then, the boys expected to see you sitting with them, eating and laughing. but, you still hadn’t left that dorm.

so, neville packed some extra food, and the three made a journey to gryffindor tower, just to see if they could break the rules to make sure you weren’t dying. (of course, all three of them were convinced that you were on your death bed.)

they slipped past the prefect, climbing up the stairs to your dorm.

dean was just about to knock when they all heard your voice,

“stop, hermione! please! i don’t care that i missed my classes! i’ve been puking all day, bled on my bed, almost shit my pants four times, so, i really don’t care about snape and what he said about me! piss off!”

seamus’s lips curled, and the sound he let out could only be described as pure disgust. but, neville nudged him,

“she can’t help it. don’t be like that...” he whispered, still not sure if you were alright with visitors at the moment.

“well, i’m sorry! but, dean, neville, and seamus are all worried about you! they—“

that’s when they heard a blood curdling scream, and it sounded exactly like you. it made them jump,

“I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! FUCK!”

“don’t say that! it’s only for a few days, y/n! i told you i would help you with anything you needed!”

“then you can start by fucking off! go away!”

the boys looked at each other,

“maybe—“

“yeah—“

“later.”

they all mutually agreed, and ran down the stairs before hermione had the chance to see them.

they settled in the common room, deciding to do their homework until they knew it was a safe call to go and see you. they all worried about you tremendously, as they had never heard you talk to a fellow friend like that. you simple weren’t that type of person in their eyes. you had always been patient with people, so it was a wonder to them how you loved them so much.

they spotted ginny, walking up to the girl’s dormitories with a glass of ice cream in hand. they naturally assumed it was for you. and truth be told, when ginny entered with a sweet smile on her face, holding the cold treat, you realized you had never been more happy to see a weasley before.

as pathetic as it sounded, you cried to ginny while eating the chocolate ice cream. you sobbed to her about all the events of that day, and the day before. your crush on neville and how you believed he didn’t feel the same, the way that seamus chewed too loudly, and how hermione was too uptight sometimes. she simply listened, knowing that’s all she could really do.

finally, the three boys saw ginny coming down the the glass now empty, and they ran up to her,

“is she okay?”

“what’s happening?”

“can we go and see her?”

she chuckled and shook her head them, “she’s fine, you guys. calm down. i’m not so sure if she’ll want to see you guys, but you guys can sure try.”

they all three looked at each other, slightly terrified.

but, they sucked it up and made their way up again. of course, seamus couldn’t hold back from making a snide comment,

“i swear, if i get a book thrown at my head and end up in the hospital wing with a concussion, i’m blanking it on neville.”

“why me?!” neville scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air,

“because! you fancy her and are the most worried about her! she’s just on her period! is it really that big of a deal?”

before neville could answer, dean cut in, “yes, seamus. it is a big deal. maybe not to us, but to her it is. try bleeding out of your dick for a week while your inside are ripping apart!”

if you would’ve been present, you definitely wouldn’t hugged dean for that one.

they finally arrived, and they argued for a moment over who would be the once to knock on the door. it felt like they were stepping into a death trap. finally, neville agreed to do it.

he did so gently,

“what?” you asked, “who is it?”

dean and seamus eyed each other, definitely panicking.

“erm—it’s... us...”

you groaned, and looked down at your state. you were only in your bra and underwear, trash bucket in your lap, nausea getting the best of you... again.

but, you figured seeing your three best friends would bring you some comfort. this wasn’t their fault, and you didn’t want to take it out on them anymore.

“um... you can come in, but warning! i’m—“

before you could warn them, the door flew open,

“naked...” you breathed out, looking down at the trash can.

they all went wide eyed, and neville covered dean and seamus’s eyes with his hands, and closed his own.

“close the door, you gits!”

neville did so with his foot, still covering everyone’s eyes. you let out a small chuckle at the fact, and shook your head.

“you guys can look, you know. you act like we haven’t been best friends since first year.”

“b-b-but you’re—naked!” dean responded, through neville still keeping his own hand over the boy’s face.

you pursed your lips as you felt vomit climbing it’s way up your throat, “who—“

that’s when they heard it. the violent sound of puking. neville thanked merlin that his eyes were closed, because he probably would’ve puked too.

“who cares?” you breathed out, wiping the slobber from your chin. that’s when seamus took neville’s hand away from his eyes, and realized how you looked.

you looked unrecognizable almost. you looked exhausted, pale, and like you had just been hit by twenty cars at one time. your eyes were all puffy and red from crying, and your hair was definitely not put together like it usually was. makeup was smeared all down your face, makeup from the day before that you simply didn’t have the motivation to get up and wash off. but, seamus couldn’t help but notice your bra and underwear.

“you—“ he chuckled, “you have teddy bears on your undergarments, y/n?”

you clenched your jaw, and tightened your grasp around the trash can, narrowing your eyes at him. his eyes widened,

“kidding! i was only kidding! they suit you well!”

finally, dean shoved neville’s hand off as well, and neville opened his eyes back up reluctantly. neville and dean took in your state, much less of a laughing matter to them, as they were more of the calm friends.

“merlin, y/n... are you alright?” neville asked, approaching you slowly. you shook your head,

“i’m dying...”

the three boys gasped, and you looked at them funny, “i’m kidding... but i feel like i might...”

that settled their nerves a bit, the theory of you dying slowly fading away. you spit in the trash can, and set it back down on the floor. of course, seamus being the curious cat he is, looked in the trash can.

“don’t look at my vomit, finnigan! don’t you have any manners?”

he jumped back, and nodded his head.

“what are you guys doing here, anyway?” you asked, laying down fully on the bed, stomach and legs exposed.

“well—we know—you—you sorta—“

neville sighed at dean’s awkwardness about the whole situation, “we know you’re on your period. and, we know that you’re in a lot of pain. and, we just wanted to come and check up on you.” he glanced at the other two boys, “right?”

“yeah, definitely!”

“totally!”

you giggled at seamus and dean, “oh, what gentlemen. how could i ever thank you?”

seamus couldn’t hold it in. the comment just slipped from his lips,

“well, seeing you in your bra and underwear is thanks enough in my book!” he joked, nudging dean.

surprisingly, the only one who laughed beside seamus... was you. this surprised the boys, as you were sure that would earn seamus that book to his temple, or at least a smack to the face. but, it didn’t.

“see? i told you guys she’s fine! she’s laughing like she always does!”

neville seemed to look over at you for reassurance, just to make sure that seamus hadn’t crossed a boundary with one of his crude jokes. it was something that seamus had done quite a few times, without even realizing it, but it was simply because he didn’t know how to put a filter on. you knew at the end of the day that seamus wasn’t trying to disrespect you. plus, it was something you had go get used to, being one of his best friends and all.

at one point, the boys had eased into the floor, getting things for you if you needed it. seamus even asked why exactly girls even got periods, and you explained it to him in full detail.

“so... like—the inside of your uterus is actually tearing? i thought dean was joking about that!”

you shook your head, “unfortunately, it’s not a joke, finnigan. it’s very real...”

“well, is it this bad for all girls?”

“no, actually. some girls only bleed for a couple of days, and it’s very light. they can go without cramps, puking... lucky bitches!”

that’s when the boys fell silent, even seamus himself. until he raised an eyebrow,

“is it bad that i’m kinda curious? you know—to see how it feels to... bleed... down—there...”

dean furrowed his eyebrows, but neville nodded his head in agreement.

“well, boys... i can’t make you bleed out your dick for seven days straight... but, i can punch you guys in the stomach with full force and show you how cramps feel!”

collectively, they all disagreed, which caused you to fall into a fit of laughter.

“but—it can’t be that bad, right? i mean, everyone can get a stomach ache...” dean questioned, but unsure of what he had just said.

“let me put it to you like this, thomas. imagine the weasley twins sneaking a muggle laxative into your morning pumpkin juice...” you started, “but that stomach pain for a whole week.”

dean put his head down, finally understanding. no wonder you had talked about almost shitting your pants.

that’s when the door swung open, revealing a surprised hermione,

“y/n! where are your clothes?! boys are in here! and plus, they’re not even supposed to be in here, anyway!” she snapped, immediately storming over to your closet, and pulling out a random shirt, throwing it at you.

“but, it’s too hot! and, any tightness hurts!”

“i don’t care! i couldn’t imagine sitting around with ronald and harry with my—lady parts hanging out!”

you chuckled at her hidden shaming, quite used to it by now. “oh, whatever, granger! it’s the same difference as a bathing suit! lighten up!”

seamus and dean snickered at the look on her face, and the way she stormed out.

“she’s right, y/n. not about—you know, we don’t care... but, just—seamus will be talking about it for the rest of his natural life if you keep your clothes off any longer.” neville stated, standing up and taking his sweater off. he passed it to you, making sure not to touch you in anyway that would make you uncomfortable.

you smiled at the kind gesture. sure, it was a sweater, and you probably should choose the lighter t-shirt that hermione had snagged out for you. but, it was neville’s sweater, so, how could you refuse?

you slipped it on over your head, and pulled your hair through the hole. it was quite comfortable, and you were just the right amount of warm and cool. so, it worked out in the end. “thank you, longbottom. that was sweet.”

his face turned red at the small grin etched upon your face, but he shook it off and sat back down on the floor.

you all began talking again, not even noticing when seamus had gotten bored and ancy, and started snooping in your drawers. but, his eyes went wide at the sight of something in your drawer. he picked it up, and stared at it for a moment.

“uh... y/n...” he started, voice a bit shaky, “what’s this?”

he held it up, and you, dean, and neville all looked over.

“that’s a tampon, finnigan. i use it when i’m on my period so the blood doesn’t leak out.”

he took a beat of silence as he connected the dots, and his eyes seemed to widen even more,

“and... you have to put this where exactly?”

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #neville longbottom #neville longbottom imagine #neville x reader #neville longbottom smut #dean thomas #dean x reader #dean thomas imagine #dean thomas smut #seamus finnigan #seamus finnigan imagine #seamus x reader #seamus finnigan smut

[songbirdstyles]

hangin’ on the telephone

summary: you decide to tease harry on a zoom for his class. he’s less than thrilled.

warnings: smut (18+), masturbation, phone/facetime sex, voyeurism/exhibitionism, some fluff?

word count: 5k

song inspo.: hanging on the telephone - blondie; sometimes on a fantasy - billy joel; love on the telephone - foreigner

author’s note: this doesn’t quite fit with the events of when i’m sixty-four and lola - this is if reader was in harry’s class during quarantine. don’t think about it too hard

Harry’s camera is shaky when the class first begins - his screen seems to quiver in itself as he adjusts it, large hand nearly completely blocking him from view before he adjusts himself properly. His camera quality is higher than yours and anyone else’s in the class, for that matter - courtesy of the expensive computers the university had provided to all of its teachers so they wouldn’t complain about how many Zooms they had to have.

That’s what his theory is, anyway. The university says they think its of utmost importance that all of our staff are treated to the highest levels of technology available - but the Macbooks they gave out were from 2015. Certainly not the highest levels.

In every other one of your classes, teachers hold their class as the only colorful block amongst a sea of turned off cameras, white letters reflecting the name of the student to make up for the lack of facial recognition. In Harry’s class, though, there are at least two pages of turned on cameras, and you don’t pretend to not know why. Surely everyone in this class - girls and guys alike - holds some similar fantasy that your professor will somehow fall in love with them through their grainy video on Zoom -

Well, unbeknownst to them, you’re the only one that gets to live that fantasy. In fact, it’s hardly a minute after the Zoom has begun that Harry murmurs jus’ wait a minute f’everyone t’get here - and the apex of your thighs is already heating up.

It’s been so long. Nearly three months since you’d last seen him in person - since you’d last felt his palms pressed to your cheeks, his hips tight against yours, his lips trailing a path up and down the soft column of your throat. And your relationship had never been entirely about sex but it’s a large part of it, feeling each other, and even if you’ve been calling each other for hours nearly every single night, it isn’t enough. You miss him so much it twists at your heart, most days, though it does, admittedly, feel nice to see him in class Zooms.

He’s donning a pink button up, the top button mercifully undone, curls messy and unstyled, and every so often he brings his hand up to run his fingers through it. You’re sure if you could see his full body you’d be able to see the blue checkered pajama pants he wears during all of your lazy days together - he’d never liked wearing dress pants when he didn’t have to. He’s in his bedroom, sitting at his desk, and you can recognize the curtains behind him from the many days (and nights) you’d spent in that exact room together before the entire world had went to shit, and now you miss those stupid curtains so much you can practically taste the desire on your tongue.

You shift in your seat, desire burning in between your legs. You’re not sure if the quirk in Harry’s eyebrow is due to recognition of the simple movement - he’d teased you enough times to recognize every single one of your mannerisms, even ones you didn’t know existed - or if he’s simply acknowledging that all of his students have finally entered the Zoom, but the movement still brings a small smile to your lips.

“Alrigh’, then - looks like we’re all here, now. May as well get started, hmm?” Harry begins, voice booming over everyone’s muted cameras, and the girls on your screen look like they’re practically swooning at the raspiness in his voice. You would judge them if you were a different type of person, but, God, his voice would bring an angel to her knees. You’re sure you look just as needy for him as they do. “Gave y’some questions from last class, right?” The class collectively nods. “Pull those out, then. We can go over them an’ have some discussions an’ analysis, all tha’ - easy class f’today.”

You minimize your Zoom screen and tap into your Google Docs, searching through your most recent documents until you find the questions he’d pushed out to all of you last class - you click on it and watch as your answers fill your screen before looking back to the Zoom, nibbling on your lower lip as you glance at Harry’s screen again.

He’s so composed in the most casual way possible - you can’t possibly know how he manages it. He looks almost like another student, leaning forward to rest his chin against his palm as he waits for everyone to get to their questions, and your breath hitches in your throat as you stare at him, suddenly feeling entirely too hot in your hoodie (his hoodie, actually) as your skin heats.

Simple fix. You grab the bottom of your hoodie and tug it off in one smooth motion, littering it on the side of your desk with a nonchalance that came naturally to you - the cool air of your parent’s basement does little to relieve the heat you feel, the burn seeming to come from the inside out, but you still relish in the coolness that washes over you like a wave. You’re simply wearing a tank top, the straps spaghetti thin and light blue, and you lean back in your seat with a soft sigh.

Harry coughs. It draws numerous eyes back to the screen at the sudden noise, and you furrow your eyebrows as you glance over towards him -

Realistically, there’s no way to know if he’s looking at you. You know that. And yet, somehow you know that he’s staring at you, his eyes darkening in a way that would be unnoticeable to anybody else but you know him. You know how he gets when he’s horny - like when you bent over in front of him to pick up your pencil, knowing it would make his pants feel just a bit tighter, and when you turned back to look at him you could fucking see the green hue of his eyes deepening in shade.

You hadn’t even meant to make him horny by taking off your hoodie, and that’s the truth. Maybe you’re both a bit touch starved from your months apart - but, no matter. You like watching him get like this, examining the way he shifts in his seat like you had moments before, and a smirk tinges your lips as you discreetly reach for the bottom of your tank top, tugging it down just a little bit further down your chest until your cleavage and the top of your bra peeks through. Then you lean forward, narrowing your eyes as though you’re searching through your computer for the questions, and you swear you can hear Harry’s breath catch.

He clears his throat, then. It’s a casual noise and it brings everyone’s attention back to him. “Let’s start wit’ number one - anyone want t’share their answer? Jus’ need a starting point f’our discussion - Sophie, good girl, go ahead.”

Sophie unmutes herself and begins reading her answer for the first question on your sheet, her voice just a bit higher than it usually is and you don’t pretend not to know why - but you’re not focused on it. Harry is smirking, lips tilted slightly upward as he nods along to Sophie’s answer even if you can tell he isn’t listening, and your heartbeat thumps harder against your chest.

Good girl? That bastard - and you can tell Sophie’s eating it up, too, skin flushed in a deep pink, and you narrow your eyes at Harry, already reaching for your phone to text him and tell him off - he knows how much you’d hate to hear anyone else being called good girl because that’s for you, dammit - but before you can, a small box pops up in the corner of your screen.

You lean in, squinting to read the small, granulated chat box -

Professor Styles: What’s got you looking so sour all of a sudden?

You roll your eyes. Cheeky asshole. He knows exactly what’s got you all sour, as Sophie’s voice drones on and on, further explaining her answer that hasn’t made too much sense to you, truly, and your fingers fly across your keyboard to furiously type your response.

You: you’re such a dick

His lips turn up into a larger smile, but before you can reach in to type a different response, Sophie has finished her answer and he nods. “Good answer, Sophie - what d’you guys think? Jacob, tha’s good.”

And Jacob begins to speak - his so called addition is just a poorly worded restatement of exactly what Sophie had said - and then you get another notification from your private chat with your professor. You click on the box and your stomach flips -

Professor Styles: Serves you right, practically flashing your tits to everyone in the class.

Professor Styles: If you were here, I’d put you over my knee.

You could moan at that. Holy shit, you really could. You cough into your first as someone else unmutes themselves to add onto Jacob, and you take just a moment to think of your response before you gnaw on your lower lip, fingers loud as you formulate your reply.

You: you would never. way too vanilla for that

It’s a damn lie and you know it. He’s fucking obsessed with spanking you, even if he’d never truly put you over his knee like a punishment but you know he wouldn’t hesitate if you showed the slightest bit of interest in the act - and you most certainly are interested.

But you like pissing him off. Like watching the way a vein jumps in his neck as he nods along to what somebody with their camera off is jabbering about and when they’re finished, his voice sounds just a bit deeper when he says, “Good, good. How ‘bout number two - Elizabeth?”

You tug your tank top down a bit further, smiling sweetly into the camera and to anyone else it may just look like you’re wholeheartedly agreeing with whatever your classmate is saying but you watch Harry’s eyes scan his screen before they surely land on you, and they widen slightly.

Another message pops up in record time - and you’d expected it - but it doesn’t make you any less desperate to lean in and read it.

Professor Styles: Or maybe I’d force you to kneel on the ground with my cock in your mouth for hours.

You: i think you know i’d love that

Professor Styles: Can’t move, can’t touch yourself, can’t do anything.

You swallow thickly, feeling your face heat up desperately. Your cunt is fucking dripping, now, surely desperate for your touch and every time you shift in your seat your clit rubs against the lace of your panties, sending jolts of pleasure rolling through your body as shaky fingers type a response.

You: you wouldn’t be able to last

Professor Styles: I’d last all day just to make you stay there.

Well - you have no shame in resting your hand on your lower stomach, just out of view of your camera. Eyes on Harry’s little box on your screen your fingertips slight down into your sweatpants, digits running over the moist fabric of your thong before pressing to your clit, and a wave of pleasure rolls through your body at the initial touch until you’re practically preening into your grasp, still caressing your cunt over your panties.

The class moves on to the next question - you’ve stopped paying attention ages ago, since the words good girl first slipped out of Harry’s mouth and he messaged you for the first time. You hook a finger into the crotch part of your panties, tugging them to the side and you can feel your wetness, strings connecting your dripping folds to the lace, and your breath picks up as you slip your hand into your panties.

The message comes fast. You’d been expecting it, pressing it open with the hand not shoved into your pants.

Professor Styles: You’re fucking touching yourself, aren’t you

It’s not a question. He can read you like a book - knows every one of your reactions because he was the only one who could pull them from you - and the way you tug at your bottom lip with your teeth, glancing into the camera with an air of faux-innocence, is something he’s come to recognize.

You type your response slowly. Take your time, don’t rush, because you love to make him wait as your fingers slowly move in circles against your clit - too gentle to truly make you feel anything, touch feather soft as you spread moisture around the sensitive nub.

You: of course i am, professor. if you’re not here to do it for me…

You lean back in your office chair - to anyone else you look nonchalant and casual, if a bit bored of the proceedings in class - and your hand slides further into your panties, fingers smoothing up and down your folds until your breathing picks up, chest rising and falling as you finally push your pointer finger into yourself, immediately curling it upwards to brush against the sweet spot inside of your velvety walls that has you pushing your hips against your hands. You’re quivering for your own touch - for Harry’s, more so - as you push your own essence in and out of your cunt, heel of your palm brushing against your clit, before you glance back up at the screen.

And Harry is - God, he’s a sight, is what he is. He’s leaning back in his seat, like you, and you watch for a moment at the way his chest rises and falls against the fabric of his billowy dress shirt. The top button is still undone and as you watch, he reaches up and undoes the second one - 

It’s like a collective moan rolls through the fucking class at the action. You can see every girl’s eyes widen on your screen as the overhead lights in Harry’s apartment illuminates the thin shine of sweat on his chest, and if you didn’t know better you’d simply assume that the AC in his apartment must be broken because he merely looks hot as he nods along to the current speaker - but you do know better.

If the camera was angled just a millimeter down, you’re sure you’d see the bulge through his pajama pants, thick and hard and desperate for your attention. For your mouth or your hands or your cunt, squeezing him so good, milking him for everything he’s worth until you’re both sobbing -

You add another finger into your pussy, sliding them in and out with a slow pace that gradually picks up until your ears are filled with the sound of your wetness, sloshing in your panties as you suck your teeth, trying to prevent your mouth from opening in a moan. You may look inconspicuous now but if your lips part in a desperate cry you know people will get suspicious -

Caught in your own pleasure, you’d missed Harry’s messages until the third one pops on your screen, and you scramble to click on the notification before it disappears.

Professor Styles: You’re a brat

Professor Styles: Trying to work me up like this

Professor Styles: Don’t you dare stop touching yourself.

The third one has your eyebrows furrowing - God, of course you’d never stop. You don’t think you could even physically drag your hands away from the pearl between your thighs until you’ve finally come over the edge and you didn’t need Harry to say it. You raise your eyebrows and begin typing your response with your free hand, fingers pumping in and out of your cunt desperately, but you’ve barely finished the text when you hear your name in his fucking voice and -

“What d’you think?” Harry inquires, voice even lower than it had been before, and you resist the urge to drop your mouth open in an appalled gasp as he practically stares into your fucking soul even through Zoom. Your heart drops into your ass and now you know why he’d wanted to confirm that you wouldn’t stop - “Why d’you think Steinbeck structured the book like he did?”

What? You don’t fucking know - you click to unmute yourself, fingers slowing down as you take a breath, tapping until you get to the answer written on your Google Doc. “Um - they’re plot chapters followed by intercalary chapters - they invoke an emotional response from readers.”

It’s a textbook answer, short and shitty and anyone with half a brain could tell that you simply said it so you would get the participation points, and you watch Harry’s eyebrows raised with a poorly-concealed smile. 

“How d’they invoke an emotional response, though?”

And he’s such a tease - he loves this, watching you teeter near the edge of your orgasm with shaky breaths as you seemingly contemplate your answer for a moment - fingers circle your clit slowly as you say, “They - they show us the historical and societal background - which - which broadens the scope of the novel.”

You, truthfully, think you did a fairly decent job keeping your composure - sure, your voice was a bit airy, a bit breathy, and you’re sure you tripped a bit over your words, but you at least didn’t moan out wildly in front of your entire class - celebrate the little things. And, yeah, it may not have been the best answer, but Jacob is already unmuting himself to elaborate and restate your entire answer, which feels like a win in your book, at least.

Professor Styles: Good girl. Kept your cool.

You’re practically trembling, resuming your thrusting of your fingers deep within your cunt, as you shakily type your response, fingers quivering on the keyboard.

You: wish you were here

And - when you realize that sounds a bit too sentimental to fit the situation at hand, fingering yourself in front of the entire class - you hurry to type something else.

You: to eat me out

You bring your eyes up to the screen again, fast enough to watch the quick smile spread across his face - his eyes dart around the screen for a moment before landing on a spot that you assume to be your box, and you exhale softly, curling your finger upward to that spot that has your back arching forward, tits pushing closer to the camera before you drop back against your seat.

Professor Styles: I’d do anything to have my face in your cunt right now.

You inhale sharply, nearly coughing as you pick up your speed, lips parting the slightest bit in a soft whine that erupts from your throat before you can try to fight it back - your eyes shut, head falling back against your chair, and you’re so close you can feel your impending release on the tip of your tongue like your favorite meal.

It’s the sound of the chat notification on Zoom that makes your eyes open, and you click on it. It’s hard to read, vision going fuzzy as your orgasm comes closer and closer, but you can make it out -

Professor Styles: Eyes open.

Professor Styles: And keep your camera on when you cum.

You practically whimper at the request but you oblige - eyes opened and staring directly at his box, at the way his face is practically bright red, sitting up straighter in his seat. He’s moved his camera angle up more, concealing his abdomen until only his chest and head is visible, showcasing the two undone buttons at the top of his pink shirt.

He sure doesn’t look composed now. Not a total disaster - but not the cool, calm professor who had first opened Zoom nearly 45 minutes ago.

Your eyes are moving towards the camera when you notice something in his box that has your eyebrows raising, eyes wide and alert as you squint, fingers briefly paused in their mission to get you to orgasm -

Your free hand flies across the keyboard as you type the message, mind spinning with the image you’d seen - the way his fabric creased near his shoulder, like his arm had been moving up and down with an unbridled, jerky pace -

You: are you jerking off, professor?

And you can see the exact moment he reads the message, his eyes widening, before he unmutes himself and loudly proclaims, “Question 4, then? W - Who wants t’start us off? Jamie, good, tell us wha’ you’ve got.”

And Jamie goes off in some tangent about their answer, words sounding like mud in your brain, as Harry mutes himself once more, and it’s only another moment until you get the next message.

Professor Styles: How could you expect me not to?

Good answer. You know that if you’d caught him jerking off before you had the chance to stick your hands down your panties, you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself - but it’s still surprising, watching the fabric of his shirt rustle. It’s not obvious in a way anyone else could tell but you can, and that’s all that matters.

You pull your fingers out of your cunt, bringing your sodden fingers up to your clit. You’resoclosesoclosesoclose - your trembling fingers rub hard circles into your clit, pussy fluttering around the emptiness after you’ve pulled your fingers out, and you clench your muscles taut as you pinch the sensitive nub -

Fuck. There it is - a burning sensation throughout your body as flames lick up your body, rocking through every inch of your skin - it’s all you can do to sit there, legs spread, practically biting back the urge to sob out with the force of it all, and keeping a poker face feels like some sort of torture form. Your cunt jolts beneath your fingers as you try and ride yourself through it, sticky wetness coating your fingers with proof of your release until it’s all over your sweatpants, soaking the gray fabric darker.

Harry’s the only person who’s ever made you squirt - twice, it happened, once into his mouth and the other around his cock as he overstimulated you until you were practically sobbing. And he’d loved it, too, pulling out even though he hadn’t cum yet and sinking to his knees to lap the moisture from between your thighs, eyes rolling back into his head as though it brought him such pleasure to sit there and eat you while you grabbed at his hair.

You’ve never done it yourself. Not with just your fingers.

The next message comes before the aftershocks have finished rolling through your body, and you need to take a few seconds to compose yourself before reaching to read it.

Professor Styles: I love watching you cum.

You resist the urge to smile, resting your palm against your swollen cunt as you use the other hand to type your response.

You: squirted all over my hand.. wish you could’ve seen it

You can practically hear the way he chokes when he reads it, even through his muted mic, and your response comes in seconds.

Professor Styles: I’m wrapping up the class early. Stay after.

It’s a demand and one that you’re more than willing to oblige, giving one unceremonious jerk of your head upwards as you lean back into your seat. And, true to his word, he unmutes himself, declaring loudly that since he wanted an easy day you could all leave early - not too early, mind you, a mere seven minutes before the class would officially be over - but he could let the class out twenty seconds early and they’d act like he canceled an exam. 

People unmute themselves to say goodbye before boxes quickly begin disappearing, the number of participants dropping down until it’s just the two of you, squares side by side next to each other, and you reach to unmute yourself the second the last person has left.

“Harry - Harry, fuck,” you breathe, pushing your computer back and angling it down more so he can see your body. He unmutes himself and you can hear his gasped breathing as he pushes his own laptop back until you can see him fully and - “Fuck.”

His pajama pants are pushed past his cock, curling towards his stomach and an angry shade of red. His fist wraps tight around it, pumping himself up and down with his chest rising and falling desperately, and the thought of him doing this during your Zoom call has another pang of pleasure rolling through your body from your clit.

“Unbutton your shirt,” you beg him, propping your foot on your desk as you shimmy your sweatpants down your thighs, kicking them off into a pile on the floor. Your cunt is exposed to him, covered only by a sopping scrap of lace that you call underwear, and you’re quick to pull it away from your pussy to show him as you dip your fingers back down to your clit, circling it freely. You’re still entirely too sensitive, and the simple motion has your chest arching vehemently, but you can’t watch him do this without feeling the overwhelming urge to cum again and again -

He obliges, practically tearing the shirt away from his chest until the two halves have split open and you get an eyeful of his chest, littered in tattoos that only you get the pleasure of seeing - the butterfly you love to press your palms against when you ride his face - the ship you always grasp when you’re rolling against his thigh -

“Finger y’self,” Harry grunts, breathing desperate and heavy as you lean back in your seat, exposing yourself further to him, your chest heaving. “An’ take off tha’ tank top.”

You grab the end of the shirt, tugging it up and over your head and littering it on the side of your office chair, pulling the straps of your bra down your arms so you can peel the cups away from your tits, displaying your peaked nipples to him, and he moans at the sight, the noise low and guttural. You slide two fingers into your cunt easily, the dripping essence of your release still lubricating your digits to push in and out of yourself.

It isn’t going to take long for either of you - you can tell. He plants his free palm on the edge of his desk, leaning forward and baring his chest to you, and you push yourself to sit up more, resting your free hand on your tits. Fingers pinch at your nipple, the peaked bud sending rays of euphoria through your body, and you drop your head back with a desperate whine.

“Y’close?” Harry asks through gritted teeth, words interrupted with needy breaths and gasps as you nod, and you can tell that anything he’d said about punishing you is gone - he won’t stop you now, not when you’re so close, not when all either of you want is to touch each other. You want to reach through the camera, to press your lips to his, feel his palms smooth up and down your back before traveling downwards until he can slide his fingers into your cunt - one of his is bigger than both of yours, and he’d fill you up so good you wouldn’t be able to do anything else but cry out.

And you - you’d rest your knees on either side of his thighs, lowering yourself into his lap as his length slides against your stomach. Scraping your nails through his hair always makes him cry out and your fingers tense around your breasts as you imagine it, thinking of the way he’d moan and beg for you to pull it harder, lowering his lips to your nipple as you obey him.

You’ll always obey him. (In bed, at least.) God, you really would sit on your knees for hours, holding his cock in your mouth like it’s your fucking job, and you’d love it, too.

“Look at me, baby,” Harry moans, voice crackling through the speaker of your shitty computer and you oblige, hazy eyes rolling upwards to the camera, and you swallow thickly, pumping your fingers faster in and out of your cunt. “Look at me when y’cum … c’mon, baby.”

You don’t need much more encouragement than that. With one curl of your fingers upwards to hit the sweet spot deep within your velvet core you cum, eyes rolling back into your head with a piercing cry that makes you entirely too grateful that it’s your parents’ date night - your cunt clenches and unclenches around your fingers as you finally hit your peak, breath coming out in needy groans as you release over your fingers.

You’ve barely finished when Harry’s tell-tale groan sounds through the basement and you snap your eyes back to his figure, glancing at him just in time to see him cum, white ribbons spurting out of his cock and coating his hand and the sleeve of his pink dress shirt. He drops his head forward with a grunt, fist still jerking up and down his dick as though he’s trying to milk every last drop all over his abdomen, and your breathing turns more jagged as you watch like he’s a fucking piece of art and you’re nothing but a spectactor.

And then - for a moment - there’s silence. Not silence, in its literal definition, as desperate, heaving breaths pierce the air even screens apart, and you’re not sure which of you will be the first to speak. You can hardly breathe right, let alone say any coherent sentence, and Harry takes the lead.

“Did good, baby,” he breathes, voice so soft you can barely hear it, and you nod, wiping your moist hand on your outer thigh. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” you tell him, pushing yourself to sit up more. “And your dick.”

He exhales a shaky laugh, raising his hand to examine the cum that coats his palm and fingers as though he’s never seen anything like it. “Yeah - I miss y’pussy. Not used t’not cumming in you.”

“Yeah,” you begin. “Feel empty without -”

You’re cut off before you can finish as Harry raises his fingers to his mouth, pink tongue darting out to lick at the bits of cum that decorate his skin. Your lips part needily as you watch him, eyes wide as saucers until he’s fully lapped up every ribbon of cum, and he smacks his lips as though he’d enjoyed a great meal.

“Don’t get how y’swallow so often,” Harry says, and even through his faux-casual demeanor you can see the corners of his lips turning up at your state. “Really doesn’t taste good -”

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“M’horny again.”

#harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #prof!harry #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles drabble #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic

[laketaj24]

Serotonin II

Author’s Note: Here it is! I am taking requests, and the taglist is open, drop your name under this fic or on this list if you are interested! This does have a prior part but can be read as a standalone.

Pairing: Colson Baker x Reader

Warning: Smut, breeding kink

Inspo Song: Bad Things

Part I

My MASTERLIST

Colson: Busy?

Y/N: Why would I be busy?

Colson: For sure ain’t been answering my texts 🥱

Y/N: You need something, Col?

Colson: You know you only call me Col when you’re half asleep or whimpering my name when you about to cum. Let me come over.

Tongue-tied, his messages left you baffled. They were a smooth variation of sexting mixed with pleading. Every message included a very Colson apology but a rebuttal that followed and reminded you why you couldn’t fall back in the same routine with him. It was easy to picture yourself back with him, nestled against his lean frame - listening to his voice as it rumbled against his chest as he rambled on. You saw it clear as day, but the truth of the matter was he didn’t do what you required to have you back in his life. Fucking you in the bathroom of some club like a whore, giving your body a fix, but your heart and mind still felt that hesitation when it came to Mr. Baker.

“Are you listening?” Dana asked, holding up the soy powder milk for your nephew.

“I heard you clear as day.”

“You sure you didn’t just daydream the entire I talked about not feeding Jaylen after seven?” Dana placed the soy milk on the table and glanced down at her newborn. “If you’re not up to it, I can stay. I hate going out of town so soon after having him.” She tapped her soon on the back a few times and exhaled.

“We will be fine.”

“You say this, but I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“You’re head has been shot ever since you broke up with the delinquent.” She rolled her eyes. “And what pisses me off is Tyla loves him!” She whispered and turned her attention to the seven-year-old parked in front of the tv. “I mean worships him.”

“I know. Colson is good with kids.”

“Because he’s childish.” She added. “He’s basically a six variant of one.”

“You can’t say one thing nice?”

“His music isn’t shitty,” Dana added. “I will be back at eight for the both of them, and I swear not to do this again, just my boss needs me, and their dad is busy.” She lied. “So- I love you, sis. Call Eric!” Dana kissed your cheek and sprinted out the door without another word.

Eric, you hadn’t seen him since you left the club a week ago, and you barely responded to his texts. The ride home was awkward; the entire time, he talked about how much he enjoyed the night. And the only thing you could think about was getting bent over in the bathroom by your ex. Good date.

Auntie duty had started. Diapers, Tiktok, YouTube, and some weird pig cartoon lay ahead of you for the next nine hours. Jaylen slept peacefully in his playpen, unbothered by his mother's lack while Tyla consumed her tv.

Colson: I got food open the door.

Y/N: What door?

Colson: Your apartment door. It’s Chipotle.

Fuck, you were hungry.

Y/N: Leave the food on the porch.

Colson: I’m not a god damn door dash.

The abrupt knocking startled Jaylen, soo you took him in your arms and walked to the door, “Stay in the living room Tyla.”

“K,” She answered, not even looking up from her phone.

You opened the door revealing Colson in his pink hoodie and gray joggers. He held bags of food in his hand and garnished a big smile on his face, “You look good with a baby.”

“Why are you here?”

“You wouldn’t come to see me or invite me over, so invited myself over. Can I come in?”

“No.” Jaylen stirred in your arms, his plump little legs kicked, and you sighed. “I am busy today. That’s why I didn’t invite you over. I have to keep my nieces and nephews, and every time you are over here, you either curse too much or we end up fucking.”

“Watch your mouth.” He teased.

“How were you texting with all that in your hands?” You stared at him.

“You know I got talented hands.”

“Colson!”

Why? You grimaced inwardly before looking at your overly excited niece, she loved Colson, and you hated to admit, he might be an asshole sometimes, but he loved kids. He was a wonder with them. You slapped your face, disappointed there was not a way to hide the massive man at your door. “He can’t stay.” You answered before the question left your lips.

“Why? Please!” Tyla pouted her pink lips and threw her arms up in defeat. “We never see him anymore.”

“That’s your aunt’s fault,” Colson added fuel to the fire. “I won’t stay long.” He pushed through, entering your apartment to greet Tyla with a hug at her level and a sly wink to you. Kids were the way to your heart – and his, but he would not win you over with this bullshit today. Not at all. “You hungry, Tyla?”

“Yeah, ten minutes, and you’re out.”

“Damn.”

“Tiktok?’ she held up her phone and the ring light from her purple book bag. “Please.”

“Word, what are we learning?” He raised his brows to you and proceeded to make himself comfortable on the couch; she was ecstatic, immediately standing to do a dance and drag you over to learn it too. Tiktok had become the bane of your existence, but for Tyla and her half a million followers, she was golden.

One hour later and you were tired, you’d perfected the dance, and Colson had convinced her to let him skip the dancing and just be—it was all he had to do though, she’d get one million views just because of who he was, and now everyone would know you were with him. Your heart dropped a little thinking about the exposure while she edited the video next to both of you.

“Why is Uncle Colson never around?” Tyla never looked up from her phone; she just continued her mission of posting that sixty-second video and ruining your life.

“He’s not your uncle.” You corrected.

“That’s your aunt’s fault too.” He added.

“Don’t start with me.” The harsh whisper came out as a warning, waking baby Jaylen from his nap and making Colson chuckle in amusement.

“I like him; I want him in the family.”

“I want a million dollars.”

“I can give you that.” He said.

“And a loyal boyfriend who doesn’t text insta-sluts in his spare time.”

“Don’t use sluts in front of her damn; your mouth is outrageous Y/N.”

The narrowing of your eyes made him burst into laughter again. He was damn good at annoying you like he had it mastered.

The day passed quickly with him making eyes at you, caring for Jaylen while she styled Colson’s hair in four ponytails atop his head, garnished with bows, and she even attempted to give him edges. He didn’t care; as long as she was happy, he was good.

“You look a mess.”

“It’s cool.” Colson snapped a picture. “Been waiting forever to see if ponytail was for me or not; it’s a no.” He sat back on the couch while Tyla disappeared to your room for god knows what else. “You look good with babies, you know?”

“You’ve said that.”

“I meant it; you’re good with them too.” He sighed. “I thought about kids with us, like every damn day.”

“Funny.” You shrugged, and she appeared with your bright pink polish. “What’re you doing, Tyla?”

“Painting his nails.” She plopped down in front of him, and without hesitation, he held his hand out for her. “We did blue last time.”

“Yep.” He exhaled. “Don’t you want this?”

He didn’t have to elaborate; you knew what he was talking about, but a family was the last thing from your mind, no matter how perfect the scenario looked right now. “Do you?���

Colson smacked his lips. “We can talk later.”

“You leaving when they do.” You reiterated.

The door opened thirty minutes later without a knock or doorbell; Dana never announced herself. “I see he found his way back in.” Her mouth dropped as soon as her eyes met him. “Tyla just had her way today, didn’t she.” She laughed. “Oh god, she gave this man braids.”

“Your daughter is talented.” He laughed. “Might be a new look.”

“Ridiculous.” She held her laughter. “Ty, get up and come on, love; we have a long drive.” She took Jaylen from your chest and gave you a look. “How long is he staying?”

“Not long, sis, drive safe.”

“I will. Colson, you leave in ten minutes, or I’m sending our brother over.” She pointed to him.

“I’m not scared of Michael; send him.” Why did his arrogance only make you want him more? He looked to Dana, who, like him, was not bothered.

“I hate him.” She mumbled as she left. “I just fucking hate him.”

“It’s mutual!” Colson laughed as the door shut. “You’re gonna stay over there the whole time?”

“Aint no reason for me to be over there for real.” You thought of three reasons to stay where you were, the drop in his voice, the tension in this room that could be cut with a knife, and when he was alone with you, your willpower was nonexistent. “You have five minutes.”

“We aren’t going to talk about this, are we? You like being evasive and shit? That you’re new persona?”

“I have no new persona. This is me not playing into all the bullshit you bring when you’re with me. This is a wall.”

“I’m about to knock that wall over.” He smirked.

“Stay on your couch.” You warned.

Colson held his hands up, acting defenseless, “I wasn’t moving from this spot.”

“My sister hates you, you know that? She literally said that I would be better off leaving Cali before staying here with your toxic ass.” You found yourself pointing at him and wanting to knock that smile from his face. Colson liked to see you get feisty with him; he called that foreplay, and here you were dancing to the beat of his drum, pissed.

“How am I toxic? I stopped all that shit for you, every ounce of it.”

“Stop lying.”

Colson grinned at you, unwavering in his position and impressed that you were persistent in yours; your usual fights lasted about one day. You’d take him back, and everything went back to how it was before, but that changed nothing; you wanted him to change. “I am not lying to you. Come here.”

You walked over to him, taking his hand and allowing him to pull you down in his lap. Facing him, you admired all the little cuts he’d earned over the years in senseless fights or accidents. Your fingers traced over them before you cupped his face. What the fuck were you doing? Why were the two of you akin to magnets? Drawing one another in half of the time and then at the flip of a side hating one another? You placed your lips on him, parting his lips with your tongue and then flicking playfully over his teeth before he caught your bottom lip with his teeth and tugged. The slight pressure made you moan against him. He cradled your neck with one hand, not allowing you to escape him. Colson deepened the kiss, adding pressure and taking what little breath you had away. “I fucking miss you, Y/N.” He rasped.

"Don't talk.”You murmured back.

Colson didn’t listen; he never listened.  “You were good with them today.”

You growled, grinding your hips on him. “Shut up, Colson.”

“I want to talk to you, I want you back Y/N, shit. Like I am trying, I canceled recording sessions, appearances, and other shit all this month so we can figure this out. I don’t want to-,”

You stopped him from talking, gripping his cock through the sweats with one hand and kissing him to shut up.

“Stop.” In one fluid motion, your hands were by your side, and your eyes were on his, “We’re talking; I was not fucking other women. But I was entertaining them, and it’s no excuse. I know you’re hurt; I’m sorry. Like real talk, no joke – I apologize.”

“How do I know it won’t happen again?’

“I'll delete all this shit for you,” He admitted. “Fuck a platform.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m dead ass right now. Fuck it all. I just want you.”

“If it happens again, I am never taking you back, ever.”

“It won’t.” He whispered, loosening the grip on your hands.

You took advantage of the notion, moving your hand down to his cock, rubbing the hilt through his sweats again.

“Nah,” He gripped your hair, pulling you back, so your eyes met him. “It’s my turn now.” He pushed aside your shorts in seconds, and his fingers plunged into your pussy, curling for a moment and then spinning out of you. He placed his fingers on your lips, “Open up.” You didn’t hesitate to take his fingers, licking your own juices from them, and he tapped your face sending a slight pleasurable sting. “How you taste?”

“Ready.” You pulled him from the sweats feeling him jump at your cool hands, and stood up, wriggling out of the shorts before hovering back over him again.

Colson playfully tosses you on your couch, draping one leg to the ground. “Let me taste.” He whispered as he descended between your legs. Colson’s fingers brushed your swollen clit, before his lips latched on, sucking. You bowed from the couch, the moans and scratched to his shoulders done nothing but encourage. He lapped up your juices before diving his tongue into you and swirling around. You gasped, surprised and pleased as he worked.

“Col-“ You gripped his shoulders, lifting yourself from laying down, and he took full advantage, pulling you onto his face and fucking you with his tongue. Your body coiled, the jolts of pleasure popped around your body, and then you came. The white-hot energy surged through your body, and you panted, shaking, almost collapsing back on the couch. He caught you peppering the wet kisses from your pussy to your mouth.

“You good?”

“Better than.” You whispered, breathing heavily. “ Shit.”

“We’re not done.” Of course, you weren’t; his cock throbbed against his leg, waiting to ruin your life, and here you were still out of breath. Colson gently pulled you from the couch, sitting you in his lap, and he started once again with the kisses. You could taste yourself on his lips, and for some reason, that just made you wetter for him. He took advantage of stroking himself before he lowered you down on him. You took every inch, mouth slightly open and hair swinging the entire time. You pressed your breast against his chest, savoring the warm feeling of his cock inside of you, and then you started moving on him. Your muscles clenched around, gripping him with each stroke. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone; you took that added pleasure in stride biting your lip as it intensified every time your skin met.

Colson’s eyes were hooked on you, his fingers dug in your ass, guiding you up and down on his cock, urging you to keep going, and there was no way in hell you were going to stop. You could feel it building once again, this time bigger. “Hold it.” He whispered, knowing you were about once more. “Not yet.”

“Ah,” Impatience grew over you; you slowed your ride, winding your hips slowly, your eyes closed as you took over, fucking up into you, guiding your body to take more. “I can’t.” You whined as you fought to hold the orgasm back.

“Yeah, you can.” He slammed into you harder, knocking the breath from you, your toes curled, and you screamed as you shook against him. “I wanna feel that pussy shake around me when I cum; hold it.” He slapped your clit with three fingers, and your breath hitched. “Hold it.” His hand travels up your shirt to your bare stomach, and he kisses you once more. “Y/N.”  His hips rocked slowly, but then he started to fuck you quicker, the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot each time. You were a screaming mess, biting down on his shoulder. That done the trick he spasms against you growling. His warm cum triggered you. You came, sinking down and taking all of it. “Shit, you cheated.”

“You would’ve lasted forever.” You smiled lazily.

“Is that a complaint or a compliment?”

“Both.”

You wince, sliding off him, “right.” He rolled his eyes. “Now we gotta eat reheated Chipotle.” he stood up, fixing his pants. “Can I stay?”

“I guess.” You pulled the blanket over you, snuggling into your favorite place on the couch. He heads into the kitchen, and you reach for your phone, wondering what threat your sister had for you.

Meg: Are you still coming tonight?

This was not your phone; of course, it wasn’t. You unlocked the phone, clicking her name to look at the messages. But there is only red as Colson makes his way back into the living room. You throw the phone across the room, hitting the wall, and he stares at you. “What the fuck?”

“Take you and that Chipotle and get out.”

“Damn, what the Chipotle do?”

  A/N: One more part coming. I’ll drop it next week, I think! Thank yall for reading! Let me know what you think!!

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