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dekusleftsock · 10 months

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I think if hori wrote toga better more people would like her but he hardly gives a shit about her so her story and personality and thoughts are messy (as in badly written) and nonsensical. I wanna like her but you have to do a lot of leg work to make her interesting and worth the time and love, Hori doesnt love her enough to but a lot of effort into her, unlike the other two male villains who he wont shut up about. Togas always just been (for me personally) an underutilized, underdeveloped waste of what could have been a cool idea. The Anti-toga people are not unfounded in most of their criticisms (MOST), shes the only seemingly queer person and of course shes a lustful blood sucking pervert psycho murderer with no real depth.

(btw you are more than welcome to both ignore this and LOVE toga I am not saying for you shes not worth the time or energy, this is just me reflecting on her and how hori has treated her, i appreciate and value fanon and the effort fans will put into loving her, thats so cool and based, im glad you can find joy in something like that, for people who like her- I wish she was cared for by her writer 💕)

Uh… what I see or believe isn’t fanon broski.

Look Horikoshi has always had a problem of pushing aside the women in his series, the worst of this case has ALWAYS been ochako. Do I think that’s because he wanted to write a gay love story? Yeah, I do. Does that make it okay? Absolutely not. I will be the first person to shout from the rooftops that horikoshi does not write women as well as he should. He has fan service abundant, he makes crude jokes using women that really aren’t all that funny, he’s pushed aside his women and their moments in order to forward bkdk’s development.

But you can absolutely not come into my ask to tell me that she is an, “underdeveloped wasted idea”. Because she’s just fucking not.

People think toga is just “the blood sucking bisexual who likes animals too”, but she’s just fucking not. That’s never been her defining trait or character.

Toga is a subversion of the yandere trope. That sadly means there will always be misogynistic rhetoric because that’s what the trope is. At least BEFORE the subversion happens, which is now! Where Ochako DOESNT FIND HER CREEPY!

She’s going to be creepy and weird and have issues because she’s a villain. She’s a queer villain. Her entire story is one that defies the tragedy of carmilla and refuses to let her identity be anything but “Himiko Toga”. She has always been a character about identity. She’s never been “possessive” or “jealous” over Izuku for this purpose. It’s the reason why she’s bisexual, why she just “has an attraction to blood”. It’s a queer story wrapped in metaphor and it always has been. Why is THIS monster/villain queer story any worse than, idfk, the joker and Batman. I haven’t found a single person able to genuinely voice that to me in a way that is convincing! Horror and unconventional ways of love and ESPECIALLY blood has always always ALWAYS been a part of queer coded stories for a LONG TIME. We are the unconventional. We always have been. And that’s not me “bending over backwards” HER PARENTS LITERALLY CALL HER A DEVIANT AND SHE ASKS WHY NO ONE ELSE STRUGGLES WITH THE URGES SHE DOES.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll fucking say it again, Toga is horikoshi’s most well written and thought out female character. Ochako got kicked over and over again, same with momo, Tsu, Mina, and whoever the fuck else.

And I’m sorry, but writing a queer villain inspired by the lesbian vampire trope isn’t homophobic or bad writing.

She’s HAD depth. Idk if you read her backstory or her feelings on Ochako, twice, hawks, or even Izuku but she’s HAD depth. And I’m tired of pretending she hasn’t.

Normally I wouldn’t engage with shit like this but you reached out to me DIRECTLY. So let me make this clear: you can have whatever opinions you want on toga, and I will not get angry or express anger in any sort of way. But this account? This is not your fucking space and I will ABSOLUTELY meme on you for it.

#togachako #got a little heated there silly me #togaocha #togaraka #sock rages #maybe that should be a new tag just for me

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beautifulgirl223 · 1 year

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Hello all! Well this is my first time writing and posting to tumblr, but I had this idea that I could just not let go of in my head, so here we are. I wrote this with Eustass Kid in mind because I’m absolutely obsessed with him and want to do filthy things with him, but I wrote it to allow you to add any male character you’d like. I wrote the reader gender neutral, and with no descriptions of anything so anyone could enjoy. Anyways. Here’s this. I didn’t proof read : D and I have no idea how to make my posts look pretty like other writers. So let me know if I miss anything. No smut. I wish I could write it, but I’m so bad at it. I’d be willing to corporate with someone on this if they wanted to write the other half 🤷

———————————————————————

“If you don’t think you can do it, then just say that.” You desperately tried to maintain the facade of indifference as you turned your back to him.

He knew what you were doing. You were only trying to get a rise out of him. It was a stupid game that he didn’t see the point of.

And you were always good at getting a rise out of him.

“Give me the damn chocolate…” he mumbled under his breath as he popped 2 into his mouth.

“Babe! You’re only supposed to take half!” You exclaimed as you watched him swallow the aphrodisiacs. He raised his eyebrows challengingly.

“Aww sweetheart. Don’t think you can do it?” Using your exact words against you in a condescending tone.

Narrowing your eyebrows at him, you grabbed 2 from the package and ate them as you glared at him.

“Oh I know I can do it sweetheart,” you say with emphasis on the word, “It’s only a matter of time before you come pleading at my feet. Just begging to fuck me into the mattress.”

“Oh I was gonna do that anyways,” he said with a shrug as he went his own way to do whatever it was that he does during this time of day. “Only it’s gonna be you pleading me to fuck you until you forget how to breathe.”

He was out of earshot before you could even come up with a retort. You couldn’t help but lightly stop your feet like a little kid throwing a tantrum would. You were supposed to get under his skin. Not the other way around.

You were a bit worried though. Not that the chocolate was going to kill you. But you did both just take 4 servings…

*** 20 minutes later ***

This was a huge fucking mistake.

You hated to admit it. The last thing you wanted to do was prove him right. But it was impossible to focus on anything else when your brain was only concerned with you laying on your back underneath -

Holy shit you needed to focus.

You sat at the kitchen table attempting to get some work done. Your face was warm as you tried to rein in your thoughts.

Crossing your legs to try and alleviate some of the discomfort you felt in between your legs. Only to have made your arousal worse. Desperate for clarity, grabbing the biggest glass availed and poured the coldest glass of water you could handle. Hoping to lower your temperature.

You had no idea where he was at. Noting how you hadn’t seen him for the last 20 minutes, you were starting to get pissed off. It makes sense that the aphrodisiacs would respond differently between the two of you, but was he not feeling anything at all? It wasn’t fair. He had 4 servings of the shit. It was only a matter of time before you decided your pride wasn’t worth it, and ask him to take care of you.

You went to sit back down until you heard heavy breathing headed straight towards you.

Speak of the devil.

He came into the room, and he had never looked more attractive than what he does right now.

His shirt nowhere to be found. Showing off his flushed midsection and neck as he continued to breathe hard. His skin was radiating heat, and you could feel the lust rolling off of him in waves as he moved towards you.

You felt no shame as you allowed your eyes to roam down his body. His dick straining against the fabric of his pants. It looked painful. You almost felt bad.

With his presence, you remembered that you have a game to play. You forced your eyes away from your man’s crotch and just barely got away from his reach as he tried to grab you.

The growl of warning was enough to make your knees buckle for a quick second. The sound going straight to your crotch. Suppressing your urges you managed to turn and look at him.

“Well someone looks absolutely ruined,” you chuckled as you took another sip of water. Trying to feign any symptoms of lust. Knowing good and well that you were as bad as he was.

He ran a frustrated hand down his face in order to try and calm down.

“You’re not looking much better,” he managed to get out with a strained voice. “You were staring pretty hard at something only a moment ago.”

“What? I can’t admire how pretty my man is?”

“Why don’t you admire me from on top of my face huh? Bet you wanna take a ride.”

The whimper left your mouth involuntarily. He was gonna cost you the game with how he was talking.

He smirked. Seeing to have gained a moment of control as he reached for you once more. This time not having the strength to move, you allowed him to manhandle you. Relishing in how his hands felt as they moved across your body.

“Whatdya say sweetheart? Wanna admit that you can’t go any longer without me splitting you open with my cock? Just ask nicely and I promise to give it to you,” he whispered in your ear. His breath fanning across your neck in addition to his hands groping you everywhere he could reach made for a losing combo.

The arousal was building to the point it hurt. You could rub one out to save you the disappointment of losing to him. But the idea of pleasing yourself when you had a man that could please you so much better than you could yourself made you want to cry. You didn’t want to think about getting off any other way if it didn’t involve him over, under or behind you in someway.

He was grinding his erection against your body, and groaning at the friction. Essentially dry humping you through multiple layers of fabric.

“Just say the word sweetheart and make sure you can’t walk tomorrow,”

He was playing so dirty. Touching you and promising filthy acts in your ear. Your knees buckled under the sensations, but he was there to grab you. Like he always was.

Somehow you managed to catch your breath and steady your legs before you maneuvered out of his grip. The look of shock on his face was quickly replaced by one of annoyance. He thought he had you.

“How about some other time? I’m kinda busy working right now,” you say as you sit back down with your work.

You knew it would be impossible to finish any work right now. It was the last thing on your mind as you had someone who was ready to ravish you at the drop of a hat who stood no more than an arms reach away.

You force yourself to break his gaze by staring back at your work. Internally kicking yourself for wanting to win this stupid game when you were horny to the point of pain. You would make sure to never take that much aphrodisiac ever again.

The only noise in the room came from the heavy breathing the two of you shared before he mumbled something you didn’t quite catch.

Moments later he scooped you up in his arms and was racing towards your shared bedroom.

“Fuck this stupid game. You win alright?”

—————————————————————

Please do not take my idea or copy my writing anywhere :) all the rights here belong to me 😈

#character x reader #one piece #one piece x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujustu kaisen #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #male character x reader #gender neutral reader #aphrodisiac #aphrodisiac x reader

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sapphorarelyreads · 2 years

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I don't want a season 2 of KinnPorsche

here's why

Eventhough the authors have announced that they are not going to be part of the series anymore to focus on their writing, they were still with the actors and harassing them. Because of the power dynamic, the actors aren't going to be able to get off the authors grip on them, if the series franchise becomes bigger, so does the authors' fame and income. Mile, in a livestream, openly said that the molestation by the authors is real. That is so fucking devastating and messed up. If only the authors weren't big parts of the series, they would've been removed quickly. But seriously, if they do end up doing a second season with both the authors around, its only going to end up hurting the actors. I can't even fathom how disgusting one has to be to harass a minor. Barcode was 17 at that time!!!! I wish the authors a very rot in hell.

Also please don't come at me with the Hate the artist not the art. We all know that Kinnporsche is well, 18+ and problematic in some parts, but in addition, the character of the authors makes me scared and wonder if they basically just wrote their fantasies into the novel. 'oh but people can like bad things fictional doesn't make them a bad person' no yeah well normally i would stay away from that topic but guys!!! the authors are well, bad people irl, we cannot guarantee that they are not going to continue this behaviour. Oh and istg if anyone comes at me with the ' oh but you're only doing this because the one of the author is a women and the other person is femme' NO IT HAS LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. i dont talk about shit male authors do because I've hardly seen any dramas written exclusively by male authors. I have seen lovely writer and believe me i was and still am so mad about the age gap thing being manifested at a young age, but this is not the same. Sure, that is bad, but this is literally worse.

#sapphorarelyreads #kinnporsche #barcode tinnasit #kinnporsche the novel #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche authors #be on cloud

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harrison-abbott · 1 year

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Personal Experience [From Italia].

So, I just got back from Milan, where I stayed for a full week. Had a fantastic time. And would encourage anybody to go and visit.

There was one thing that happened whilst I was there, that I wanted to write about. It happened via my literary Tumblr blog – through the messaging system on there. Here’s what occurred:

I had been out and about in the town and had really enjoyed it. And when I got back to my hostel I wrote some stuff on my blog; a fairly simple post about how I loved the vibrant zeal of Europe. And whenever I return to the Bloc, I always think that it was just so stupid that the UK left it. That Brexit was such a naïve disaster. I mentioned that I was Scottish in the post; and also said that I wasn’t overtly nationalistic as a Scotsman or Briton: only that I admired the rich energy of Europe and hoped the United Kingdom would reconnect with the Bloc in the future.

A few hours later I saw I had some messages. From this other person, who had no profile photo, and was only called ‘Anonymous’. He’d sent me like fifteen messages. (I actually don’t know if the person was even male, but I’m guessing it was a man.)

The 15 messages were snippets of this most hideous garble. He opened by saying, “Go back to the United Kingdom you Scottish bastard! And stay there! Don’t bring Milan into your political views.” And then he was calling me a “kilt-wearing, tartan, alcoholic Scot. Get some experience, you drunk arsehole!” Alongside saying that Europe belonged to the “Nazis in Germany; and that Europe was controlled by them”.

I don’t remember the exact lines, but, man: it was just staggeringly offensive. [And also shit writing. Lols.]

Anyway. I was really surprised and it was a bit upsetting. Because I’ve never in my 30 years experienced any racist abuse for being Scottish. ^ And as I mentioned above, I originally said in the post that I wasn’t a nationalist, per se. I still love Scotland, but, umm, when I’m writing stories, novels, poems, essays, personal writing, I’m not usually wearing a kilt.

I called up my friend Henry after I’d gotten the hate mail. He was helpful about it and said he’d had similar experiences across his life. Henry is Scottish too. But he has an English accent (because his parents are English), and just because that’s how he talks. He said he got a lot of shit for being English in school, and … he’s from Scotland. That actually sounded way worse than my experience in this case.

The incident didn’t ruin my holiday by any means. I was hurt for a few hours and I posted on Tumblr again about what’d happened, and received this array of supportive messages from folks that follow me. Which cheered me up a bit.

I suppose I couldn’t understand why somebody would attack me for being Scottish. It sounded like this man, whoever he was, was basing his knowledge of Scots on the Simpsons character Groundskeeper Willie. This cartoon character is not offensive – because it’s a joke. It’s the Simpson’s writers making fun of the stereotype and is not meant to be taken seriously, and that’s what I thought about it when I grew up watching this beloved sitcom.

I’ve worked with many people from other nations across my life. And I’m often interested in their language: I try to learn their words for English words, just out of a curiosity in linguistics. And I ask them questions about what it’s like in their country.

Moreover, when I went to university, I had loads of friends who were non-UK, and they’re still my mates. From Germany, Singapore, Czechia, Bulgaria, Cyprus, Ireland, Polska, America – all sorts of places. I just liked them and got on with them. And they helped me out if I had problems, and me them.

(Just for the record: I am notoriously clumsy when it comes to trying to speak other languages. Or just plain bad, rather. For instance, there was a time when I was at a wedding in Poland. And was introduced to this woman. And I held out my hand to her and said, “Dziękuję!”, which means “Thank you.” She just blinked. It could’ve been worse: she could have laughed. And it was super embarrassing, but ultimately only funny.)

Hmm. In a tiny way I can now understand why people get so offended over racism. Of course, my thing was only small in terms of the horrors that other folks suffer across the globe.

Going back to the England thing again: my father is English, so I always found that anti-England stuff insulting as well. I love England too and many people who have influenced me were from there (William Shakespeare, John Lennon, Virginia Woolf, Charles Dickens, George Orwell, Pete Townshend, William Wordsworth, Graeme Greene … Paul Scholes. There are many). The whole point is that I adore the creative minds from England.

There was this other occasion – just as final example – where one of my mates was coy about ‘coming out’ to me as being gay. And he finally told me, shyly, after a few months. Then asked me what I thought about it. I said, “I don’t care.” And he just laughed because it was a refreshing answer.

The main conclusion is that bigotry should be eradicated through knowledge. Having a wealth of knowledge is the most crucial thing. I hope education spreads across the world.

I suppose I could’ve written this essay and posted it to that bigot who attacked me anonymously online.

But I figured a quotation was more relevant for the mood I was in at the time. So I just wrote back to him:

“I am the Walrus. Yoo goo coo choo.”

And he hasn’t responded with anything since.

#personal writing #writers on tumblr #tumblr writers

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lady-asteria · 1 year

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Re: Your post about widely hated female characters. Would you mind me asking who Irma is? Also, I’m assuming the Ianthe you also mentioned in the tags is Ianthe Tridentarius.

Sure! No, I'm talking about Ianthe Kore, she's one of the main character of "La Flor y la Muerte" (The Flower and the Death) a science-fiction sapphic retelling of the myth of Hades and Persephone. If I’m being fair she's less hated than other characters (and lot of people actually like her) but I still have seen some takes- saw one in Twitter before coming here and was mad- specially bc of her friendship with Minna (who I totally should have mentioned too)

/Minna is, in short, S1 Amity/Sasha and she also gets better/

Inma (Omg, I can’t believe I wrote her name wrong, sorry I was too mad to noticed) is one of the main character of "Desde Soulcial ¿con amor?" (From Soulcia, with love?) Now, the thing with Irma is than, where Ianthe is sweet, soft and isn't sure about her position, Inma makes noise- she's arrogant, ambitious, selfish and can be a little shit (love her for that, like Kat). And that's okay bc part of her character arc is being less arrogant- She has one scene that some people find mean and I was warned about it but, honestly, when I read the scene it was more funny than cruel- Even the writers said that Inma didn’t do nothing other (male) characters haven’t done in some romcoms. Inma is very flawed but that makes her complex and she isn’t a bad person (I find worse what other character does and I still love him) She grows a lot of during the book and she’s still a little shit, and it’s great!

Again, love her dynamic with Kat bc they are two little shits who are also softs

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amarriageoftrueminds · 3 years

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Now now, we all know how Bucky's been in love with Steve (and known about his feelings) his whole life, but what about Steve? I've always swayed towards the theory 'Steve's been in love with Bucky his whole life as well, he only realised after Bucky fell from the train', but what if Steve's known he's in love with Bucky since their Brooklyn days? That would shed an entirely different light on his interactions with Miss Nazis Hirer and the whole 'right partner' talk

Going by canon, I think there must've been either: a declaration of mutual feelings, or; the first foray into a sexual relationship in their late teens, because one of Bucky's trigger words was 'seventeen', and Steve said he felt like a 16 year old again when he heard Bucky's name.

What's interesting is, at that time, and especially in that place*, there wasn't the idea that gay sex acts made you gay, because there were loads of 'straight' men around (eg. sailors.) going with other men just for sex. This was pre pill, pre sex-before-marriage for most, especially for Catholics like Steve.

So it might be that Bucky and Steve were doing the do with each other looong before either of them came to the realisation that they were also, coincidentally, in love.

I agree that Bucky, simply because he's exposed to dating women more than Steve is, has more of an opportunity to Realise before Steve. He'd have the benefit of being able to contrast his experience of feelings with Steve, with his experience of feelings for others, leading him to a lightbulb moment.

And he'd cover this up (and keep up the pretense of believing both he and Steve are really straight) by going out with girls in the meantime; in a period-appropriate gentlemanly way, not bedding them. Also to protect him and Steve from any potentially dangerous accusations.

I don't see Steve as not knowing precisely that he is in love with Bucky; I think he knew before the events of CATFA started, and it was a big part of his motivation for wanting to go to war.

But I do think it hadn't occurred to Steve that he might only be attracted to Bucky / men until after he got serum -- because, before then, his health would've been a limiting factor.

Before then, I can see him thinking 'well it's no wonder I have no libido like Bucky does around women, I'm just too unwell!' and not connecting the dots.

This would explain why he seems so panicked when sexual situations arise with women, after the serum; because he's realising 'oh shit! actually, I don't even like this when I have Perfect Health!' and hastily trying to backpedal himself out of an unwanted situation.

My HC is both of them thinking they're the only male-attracted one in the relationship and they're just engaging in sex acts together for convenience' sake but the other one's only going to keep doing it until he can get a girl.

So when Steve shows up all heterosexual-passing, looking like he can get any girl he wants, Bucky looks devastated because he thinks that signals the end of his physical (in his head unrequited romantic) relationship with Steve.

(But then between Peggy showing up and he and Steve going to the Continent together with the Howlies, Bucky mysteriously seems to perk up!)

By which point Steve, with his strong moral instincts and anti-Fascism, has come to the conclusion that if he's a physically perfect man, and he's still in love with and attracted to Bucky, then there must by definition be nothing wrong with feeling physically attracted to Bucky.

IDK if it makes it better or worse to imagine that they finally confessed to each other before the fall?

Maybe it'd be nice if they saved that for Post-WS, especially since Bucky might be then in even more doubt as to Steve's feelings for him. It's a common choice in fic for a reason!

There are two ways to read the 'right partner' talk Steve has with Peggy.

One is:

Steve's a straight man acting like an incel and attempting to pull pick-up artist tricks on Peggy which don't work, because she's not interested in him, and so doesn't take the bait (we only don't notice he's being a creep because Cevans and HA play it as benign, and because the writers, being themselves douchebags, don't realise what they've written; and probably wouldn't care even if they did.)

Two is: (particularly egregious if you flip the genders and imagine a woman saying this to a man)

Steve going out of his way to make it clear that he doesn't want to date, isn't interested in dating right now, while there's a war on, and finds women terrifying.

And yet as soon as he's fuckable, Peggy pulls a 180 and starts claiming she always liked him as he was, despite the fact that her actions directly disprove this; she didn’t ask him out when she had the chance and the encouragement.

Naturally, her arrogance leads her to the immediate assumption that if Steve is waiting for The One, then she must be the One to whom he was referring.

The fact that his wording either means he’s already found the One and is waiting for them, OR that he hasn’t met them yet, both exclude her from the running (since he’s known her a week) is... immaterial. She never asks if he has his eye on someone, does she? Would Steve being already married stop her?

(You don’t say ‘I don’t want to date because I’m waiting for the One’ to the person who IS the One, or whom you suspect may be the One. This ain’t rocket science!)

And hey, did you notice, that Peggy is just so important and special and perfect that her sudden interest in Steve means that Steve's stated wishes are now irrelevant?

The staggering hubris of waltzing up to him to go ‘hey, by the way, one day... when all this is over... I will allow you to date me.’ 😘😌

Too bad he didn’t ask!

The fact that Steve explicitly told her he isn't interested in dating and didn’t specify he’d be interested in her is invalidated by his new looks and her desire.

Sheesh. These Carter girls sure are rapey as hell.

(Also, in characteristic NOT-A-FEMINIST Peggy Style, the first thing she does upon seeing Big Steve is yank a t shirt out of the hands of a waiting nurse, because Saint Poppins is apparently so good at everything without training or experience that she can do nursing better than an actual nurse, too? (Could be she's also being characteristically territorial, pissing a circle round her chosen prey.) While simultaneously, out of nowhere, affecting a dumb ‘oh I’m so soft-and-feminine’ voice she didn’t have before?? Does that sounds like someone Steve ‘son of a nurse’ Rogers would admire? UGH.)

The irony of all this is ^ you can read Steve as 100% gay and not have to change a single piece of his characterisation or interactions with women at any point.

I've touched on this in other asks, but:

He never asks Peggy out when he has the opportunity; only when he knows it's too late and he won't be expected to follow through (due to him being dead.)

He never makes a move on any of the chorus girls or his female fans (no matter what those creeps M&M claim). Or Private Lorraine. Or Nat. He has to be nagged to make one on Sharon (while Peggy's body's barely had time to cool, and looks fine about never seeing her again lol!) But he goes out of his way to befriend Sam, and waay out of his way to get Bucky back.

Throughout all his films he's consistently assaulted by women, even friends, and never looks happy about it; he also never looks upset when he's rejected or cut off from women love interests, or when he's able to dodge flirting (by, eg. jumping out of a frickin' plane!?)

It's 'his choice', in his own words.

He seems his happiest with women in platonic situations, and only sad about them when it's a question of a shirked duty, a bereavement, or him feeling he's let them down; eg. when Nat dies, when his mother dies, when he's unable to deliver a promised dance to Peggy, etc.

(But it makes people uncomfortable to address this since many of his fans are female.)

But even marrying a woman (albeit the most OOC choice it's physically possible for a Captain America to make, not to mention that it involves abandoning our-Bucky alone in the future). It doesn't preclude Steve from being gay, since lavender marriages were hella common (doubly so for famous gay men).

He could be gay and still in a relationship with Bucky, and married to Peggy. I mean, he's guaranteed a wife who'll spend most of the time away at work, able to use her connections to squash any inconvenient press; and unable to out him or Bucky without ruining her own prestige. Perfect!

Still makes EG Steve a douchebag tho. 😒

*we know they frequented north Brooklyn, because Steve said 'I know this neighborhood!' while the Brooklyn Bridge was in sight behind him; but, they got the street angle wrong, cuz they made it look like the BKB has a street which looks right at it, when in fact the street with that famous view is of the Manhattan Bridge. The places Steve describes being beat up; a parking lot, alleyway, and diner, are also all places you'd go while you're Out, rather than where you live. So IMO Steve and Bucky lived somewhere near DUMBO, but not so far east that their view was of the Manhattan Bridge; either Brooklyn Heights or Downtown. So that puts them right in the heart of Gay Brooklyn (as in, Truman Capote had a house there, because Walt Whitman wrote a famous poem about there; that level of gay), next to the Navy Yard and Sands Street (gay cruising central) and they also frequented gay cruising mecca Coney Island (big burlesque hot spot).

#mcu meta #antipeggy #toAyourQ #hey nonny #steve meta #bucky meta #p*ggy meta #anti st*ggy #endgame steve is a skrull #antiendgame #dat's me #bucky barnes #meta #mcu #yet each man queues the thing he loves

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shatterstar · 2 years

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putting shatterstar exploration hour on pause to give you all the the tim seeley beef, alright

to start off, let me get some of the simpler reasons I hate him out of the way. when I was in high school I was into DC and I read parts of that series where dick grayson is a spy and he's just "Grayson", which was written by tim seeley. and I don't remember much of this book but one thing that stuck out to me was the way seeley wrote midnighter (who's canonically gay) as very. How do you say. Slutty. and Lustful. Which by itself isn't TERRIBLE although it's pretty bad and homophobic, and it also contributed to the ongoing objectification of dick grayson in DC comics. side note I think its really weird how like.... mainly heterosexual white women in the comics world love to be like "omg dick grayson the first male character who gets written like a woman!" like. do we want to be treating men in comics the way we do women? I think maybe we want to not treat anyone like that? but anyways. the point is when the shatterstar miniseries got announced with seeley as the writer, I vividly remember being like "Huh. so the guy that gave us midnighter constantly obsessing over dick graysons ass cheeks is going to write marvels most famous slutty bisexual. Ok." And sure enough, I'm not gonna go into it, but there's a bit in shatterstar (2018) where shatterstar goes to some planet to get information and he has to use his "Unique Skillset" which. I guess that's how tim seeley refers to being bisexual. and on top of that the place where he goes to try to fuck for information is called the "sah'damn district" or something like that and I just remember reading that and going sodom? sodomy? sodom and gomorrah? Tim? Are you serious? are you for fucking real right now? it just felt so ridiculously out of touch and homophobic/biphobic for literally 2018.

anyways. there's lots of homophobic writers in comics and like, theres definitely writers I hate more than seeley on a personal level, like there are some truly evil and bigoted people who have worked in the industry over the years but I took that question to mean "who do I hate most specifically AS a comic book writer". and. well. here's the explanation I think retcons are a fundamental and essential part of comics as a collaborative medium. I think if writers weren't allowed to contradict previous canon, comics would be Worse. I think part of being a good comics writer is making conscious decisions to go Hey. I know the previous canon says [x] but for the story I want to tell I need to change it so that it's [y]. I think it's important for comics fans to A) accept this, and B) be allowed to have problems with certain retcons. I think of it like this: because of the collaborative nature of comics, both fans AND writers are allowed to nitpick what parts of canon they want to focus on. a lot of writers have done a lot of stupid retcons but ultimately I do believe that's their right.

my issue with tim seeley in this regard is that I've seen multiple instances where a fan online will point out a discontinuity between something he's writing and established canon, and his reaction is to go, "Actually, that's not a retcon" and give some justification for why what he wrote was actually the correct interpretation of previous work. and like.... I feel like I don't see other writers doing this? other writers will put stupid shit in their books and then defend their decisions online, sure, but when something they write directly contradicts a previous piece of canon, if they respond to someone who points it out (on twitter, for example, or in older comics, in the letters page), they usually just go "Oh yeah! Retcon :)" Which again. I personally think that's the right response. that's the writer recognizing that comics can't always 100% agree with each other all the time. that's the writer basically owning up to not knowing everything about the canon. which is FINE. NOBODY knows everything about canon.

but the way tim seeley has responded to these types of things, because he doesn't just say "retcon!" and move on, comes across like he thinks he knows better than the fans, which is just annoying and condescending. the most recent I saw was something to do with a robins book he was writing for DC but to be honest I don't keep up with DC so I can't be more specific. the most notable example of this is the now infamous (to me) "he's an actor" tweet. in seeley's 2018 shatterstar miniseries, he introduces a female character, gringrave, who is shatterstar's ex from before he came to earth. now gringrave herself is a whole other discussion. the existence of an ex from before he came to earth directly contradicts a panel from xforce #43 in which shatterstar tells rictor that before that night (in #43) he's never felt attraction to anyone. now the introduction of gringrave could have just been a retcon that I and many shatterstar enjoyers would simply ignore, but someone pointed this out on twitter, and instead of seeley saying "oh yeah I retconned it", he said this, in regards to #43: "Not retconning. Star stretched the truth. He's an actor."

now. if you know anything at all about shatterstar you know that he's from mojoworld, which was created by ann nocenti to be a kind of reality TV dystopia, in which, critically, the entertainment on TV is produced by putting members of the genetically engineered slave race into real life-threatening situations. in shatterstar's situation, he was a gladiator. this is like, the opposite of being an actor. but that's not the point. the point is, it really really bothered me that seeley couldn't just own up to the fact that he wrote something that contradicted such a core moment in the shatterstar lore. and the fact he did basically the same thing with whatever that robins book was (I'm really sorry I don't have the tweets and I can't be bothered to go searching on his twitter) just like solidified that he really just does treat the shared stories in comics the way I think writers should.

also. this is kind of a personal thing, but I didn't feel, reading shatterstar (2018), that tim seeley really cared about or liked the character he was writing. I want a shatterstar book written by someone who actually Likes Shatterstar. and understands him. you know? like m

#I love to complain but it got really long so I did the ol readmore strat #p

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starfire-s · 3 years

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realised i couldn’t wait a whole 11 months to make a scathing review about true beauty in my 2021 kdrama review so here it is (if you disagree then keep scrolling or something if y’all liked the ending then good for you because i didn’t so)

true beauty writers really sat in the writers room and said ‘hey let’s use the same formula the start up writers used... but listen let’s somehow make it worse’ in the end this show actually made me appreciate what start up did so wow

this is hands down the worst kdrama i have ever seen in my life and no i’m not just a bitter seo jun stan (even though hwang in yeop sweety you did amazing you go my boy get that fame) the writing was an absolute disaster from start to finish like the second this show started i did say the plot was 🤡 and i still stand by that statement all the good things that happened in this show were automatically cancelled out by the bad writing

suho was such an annoying male lead (i still cannot believe they hired eunwoo and then wrote suho like that you could tell he looked uncomfortable because he was like i drink my respect women juice i cannot understand suho’s lines and behaviours) i mean the second he threw that jacket at ju kyung in episode one i was like ‘oh no oh no’ but i thought maybe he’d redeemed himself after episode 11-12 and then the time jump happened and he came back with the creepiness intensified to 1000% so no he had reverse character development... amazing

did ju kyung even get any character development? did it happen? because they resolved her ‘self esteem issues’ in one episode after suho told her she looked like an ugly looking fruit but she was sweet 😍 and that’s all that matters her years of insecurity issues were resolved because a man told her she was hot or something... lmao the nonsense it still makes me want to scream!!!

all that matters is hwang in yeop killed it throughout the series i hope his back is okay from carrying this show from start to finish! that doesn’t mean the other actors didn’t try to give a good performance they did! it’s just the writing was so shit i wanted to turn my tv off on more than one occasion but only stuck by it for in yeop!!

anyways watching this was an experience i wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy... i just wasted 3 months keeping up with this show and all i asked was they let seo jun be happy and goddamn it they didn’t even do that so everything was a time waste and i was forced to sit through a 16 episode love triangle... i’m suing tvn for emotional damages bye

this show was a solid 3/10 and i’m only giving those 3 points for hwang in yeop, cha eunwoo and moon ga young for acting their hearts out and gaining millions of followers worldwide! everyone take care i cannot believe we were given a bad kdrama like this 2 months into 2021

#this ones for you anon #you asked i delivered lmao #y’all already know my issues with what they did to seo jun so i didn’t include much of that #just wanted to put my thoughts out there #have a nice day everyone! let’s see how many more kdramas we can get clowned by before the end of the year #true beauty #kdrama #komal talks

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gwemrys · 3 years

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i dont often see takes on morgana that are nuanced enough to my taste lol. she was designed by cis male writers who made like 90% of their already scarce amount of women villains, and who had her make damn good points first to then completely and utterly destroy anything that was good and kind about her, so they could justify dismissing all the good things she said and every valid complaint she had. (i am not complaining abt the mere fact that morgana herself was an antagonist but more about how it was handled.. keeping in mind that its written by cis men.) add onto that the fact that the creators made tons n tons of other choices that were So misogynistic it hurts.

BUT idk i just have mixed feelings abt discussing morgana bc if id make posts sort of defending her by saying she is written that way and its not her fault i feel like the white feminism side of the fandom will just loooooove to intensely agree, to then be able to continue praising the shit out of her with only rly rly vague n small side comments to ‘acknowledge’ that.. “she did bad things but but 🥺🥺..” ......like. many morgana stans (BY FAR not everyone but, many) just dont strike me as That angry at all about her cruel mistreatment of gwen for example.... theyre like oh nooo so tragic..... like they will admit its Bad but still keep their focus on morgana instead of how it rly affects gwen, a black woman. even tho i think honestly gwen was treated worse than morgana was. but the ratio of ppl complaining abt that versus about morgana’s mistreatment is so...... uneven. its just annoying that morgana is always centered when we complain abt how the writers mistreated female characters.... when actually its striking how morgana turned malicious towards gwen from the moment she knew gwen would become queen, something morgana wanted for herself.... which is such a whitefeminist(TM) thing to do

and if id make posts about how im not rly comfortable with some of the ways morgana is worshipped then id maybe give the wrong impression that i cant see or dont care about how fucked up it is that the way they wrote her and the way they wrote the whole show is flooded with misogyny and so many other kinds of bigotry.

i know i generalised a Lot here and i obviously dont assume everyone’s thinking falls into this dichotomy just because they dont express every possible nuance to everything at all times. but i just tend to see both extremes rly often and i think more ppl could do with some extra critical thinking skills tbh.

anyway in conclusion i do love morgana but many takes on her, whether they reflect a positive or negative attitude towards her, are just. way too one-sided n superficial.. plus they fail to devote the same amount of effort to addressing the harm that was done to gwen

#also disclaimer i am white; black ppl are MORE than welcome to correct me on anything #morgana #gwen #bbc merlin #merlin

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duchessofferia · 3 years

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What are your thoughts so far on the Channel Five series? Will you watch it if you can?

Oh, I’ll find a way to watch it. Even if it means downloading another crappy, virus-ridden vpn that exposes me once more to the creative wasteland that is British TV advertising and regretting the decision thirty minutes into the show, like I did with Tracy Borman’s Anne Boleyn series. I’m gonna see what this ends up looking like.

I should start by saying that we’re still in the pre-release stage and an accurate assessment of what it’s going to be like as a whole isn’t entirely possible. We should be optimistic! I want to be optimistic!

That said!

Every piece of information released so far has had a way of slowly lowering my expectations of what the final result will look like, until they reached a place somewhere between “aesthetically ugly but not overtly offensive” and “The Green Book but make it Tudors”

The show would’ve been susceptible to accusations of outrage marketing and criticism for the story it’s putting a black woman into even if the writer weren’t going around saying “yes, absolutely, we did this for shock value :)” with her own mouth. It implies that Anne, George & Elizabeth’s blackness is going to be an unmentioned, unresolved tidbit put there exclusively to be commoditized for advertising and white guilt wanking. Yes, a black woman getting murdered by her white husband for fertility issues sure is bad, isn’t it. You haven’t shook your head this hard since Precious.

Because that’s always who this was gonna be for in the end, wasn’t it. A white director and a white writer constructed a story for a white audience, with black faces included solely so they could aggrandize themselves with empty racial identity politics without having to seriously interact with the implications of what inserting black people into these situations actually means. It’s the same story it’s always been, for all the cringey “were flipping the script!!” credit the creators are already giving themselves. Henry VIII is gonna murder his wife with false allegations of sexual deviance for her inability to produce a male child and marry another woman who can. Except this time, that murdered wife is black - a member of a community that already has an increased rate of domestic violence and murder, an increased rate of fertility issues, and an assortment of harmful stereotypes about being over sexual and deviant - inserted into an era where black people were still being sold as slaves, a practice in which the Tudors themselves took part. And the creators are too far removed from that reality to begin to address it; just let Jodie and Paapa be there and be black! That’s all we need to do!

The victorious end to Anne’s narrative the show seems to be going with is the one Anne Boleyn stories always tend to go with - Elizabeth became queen, so Anne won in the end! Never mind that Elizabeth and Anne are both black now, so the “victory” in this is in reference to the ascension of a slave trader who actively tried to expel all the black people from England. Do you think Lynsey Miller thought about any of that? Do you think she even knows?

There’s more I could talk about. The costumes are patently hideous. The dialogue is overdone and anachronistic and the taglines are worse. What little we’ve seen of the show’s Jane Seymour heavily implies they’re going down the “dumb girl not like Anne’s Stronk Women™” route that’s been repeated over and over since Anne of the Thousand Days. Ain’t nothing more new age and feminist than rewriting outdated depictions from the 1960s.

There was also something touched on by @anne-the-quene and @elizabeth-shore about how it looks like they’re planning on using ye olde “Jane Boleyn lied about her husband committing incest” story, which with Jane being white and George being black becomes so much fucking worse, dear god (white women getting black men killed on false allegations of sexual indecency is such a deep cutting national wound and Jane didn’t even actually do that who wrote this shit) But that’s a whole other can of worms and this post needs to end at some point, so I’ll just. Wait to see how that plays out, I guess.

TLDR: There are many facets to Anne and George Boleyn’s story that become infinitely more loaded when you put black people in them. Is it possible that they’ll handle those added stakes with sensitivity and tact? Yes! Does it seem likely to me, based off the information we’ve been given so far? No.

#the best I’m comfortable hoping for at this point is ‘they don’t mention the race thing at all’#which is not a good ending #it’s just a less bad one #jane boleyn #anne boleyn #george boleyn #jodie turner smith #asks

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janetsnakehole02 · 3 years

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I keep seeing a bunch of BULLSHIT on my dash so I just wanna give my unsolicited Loki show opinions bc it’s my blog and I can have as many of those as I like you can leave if you want this rant is pretty much just self-indulgent because in the words of Nicholas Miller people are the worst

As a psych student - STOP COMPARING LOKI AND SYLVIE’S TRAUMA. They’re both valid, the show trying to pass off Sylvie as someone who’s been through “more” is such a damaging mindset. I wish the show had consulted actual mental health professionals before writing this show, but again that implies that the writers were actually aware of the kind of topics they were dealing with and I’m not gonna give them that much credit. Watching people say “Sylvie had it much worse than Loki, at least he had a lush life” or “Sylvie’s backstory is not as sad as Loki’s” is killing me and I hope for all things sacred that those of you that are spewing this bullshit don’t become therapists. Ever.

Also as a psych student - who the fuck do you think you are, diagnosing Loki with narcissistic personality disorder? That is an actual disorder that is so much more complex than just “being obsessed with oneself.” That is such a dangerous idea to put out there, and for the general audience who doesn’t know much about Loki and doesn’t bother to look deep and observe his actual character. If the writers tell them Loki is a narcissist, they will believe that Loki is a narcissist. If I had a dollar for every comment I see that says “it’s so in-character for Loki to fall in love with himself, he’s a narcissist” I would be able to buy out Disney. The worst part is that Michael Waldron actually believes that Loki is truly this narcissistic. I guess he wasn’t joking when he said he didn’t watch any of the movies Loki was in, or he did and he just ignored Loki’s suicide attempt at the end of Thor 1 because he’s just that insensitive to Loki’s trauma. This is the same man who says Loki uses his trauma as an excuse to be selfish. The reason he’s a shitty writer is because he is a shitty person who has no issue gaslighting someone for their trauma and someone like him should not be in charge of writing a character like Loki. Loki is not a narcissist. Unfortunately no one hates themselves more than Loki does. And if you think he is? Don’t become a therapist. Fucking ever.

As a bi woman - people saying they don’t like Sylvie or s*lki isn’t being misogynistic or biphobic respectively. I already ranted about the latter here but with the former, personally I am indifferent towards Sylvie and I don’t hate her but I understand that the sole purpose of her character was rooted in Michael Waldron’s own misogyny, he said as much himself that he wrote Sylvie as female so Loki could fall in love with her. The only person I blame for this shitshow is him, everyone stop directing your anger at each other and focus on the main problem - this cis white male writer who needs to get off his fucking high horse.

I don’t hate s*lki because I ship lokius - at first I used to be neutral on the latter but I dislike it a lot more now because it’s very obvious that Mobius has psychologically tortured Loki more than once in this show. If you don’t think episodes 1 and 4 were psychological torture and it was just Mobius being JEALOUS or being a therapist to Loki - again, for the love of god, never become a therapist EVER. Both he and Sylvie have treated Loki as though he’s inferior and they don’t respect nor trust him, neither of them deserve him and they both seem like terrible foundations for a romantic relationship. That’s not to say they’re bad people, they’re just morally gray characters, but you gotta stop excusing them for the bad shit they did. You can like them and also hold them accountable it’s not impossible to do both. And as for s*lki I have spent way too much of my energy both on tumblr and irl trying to explain how fluidphobic and uncomfortable it is so I’m not gonna bore you or myself with that again. This isn’t about “ship wars,” it’s about Loki being treated like he’s worth nothing.

Toxic positivity fans need to stop saying that the people that don’t like the show are being hateful. WE’RE NOT. We’re entitled to our own opinion and when we have genuine criticism to provide, we’re being shamed for not being grateful. What exactly do I have to be grateful for? Why should I feel grateful that a show about my favorite character in the MCU was written by people that don’t like him and have had no issue making that public? Why should I be grateful when his genderfluidity was confirmed but then they went backwards and made it so a “female variant” was the most shockingly revolutionary thing to happen? Why should I be grateful when I thought I was gonna get to watch a show about LOKI but what I got instead was six hours of Loki following people (first Mobius, then Sylvie) around as they attempted to accomplish their own missions? I was incredibly incredibly underwhelmed and if you don’t feel that way then great fine but don’t write off critiques of the show as narrow minded or pessimistic. We have our reasons, the most common one for everyone being that WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER and know that he deserves nothing but the best, which is not what he has gotten from this show.

Love or hate the show but acknowledge that it fucked up with representation. Their one Asian character - disappeared for no reason after two episodes. Two black women - given authoritarian roles and BARELY acknowledged in promotions (along with Boastful Loki). He Who Remains - the best and only good part of the finale but not enough to make up for the way the POC characters were ignored before. Nothing wrong with POC playing villains because villains are still just as interesting for actors to play (my actor sister’s words) but it’s a constant pattern in this show for the white hero-coded characters to fight the black villain-coded characters. Mobius fighting Ravonna, Sylvie killing He Who Remains, Loki fighting B-15, it’s insane.

This isn’t an opinion just me here to say thank you if you actually read this far and also to tell you to go watch Shang-Chi in theaters if it’s safe for you and if you wanna see a Marvel project that treats all their characters with respect and actually has an amazing plot with great representation then this is the one besties I honestly cannot think of anything I disliked about it

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seonghwa-is-babie · 3 years

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What we've been missing (pt. 4)

Tw: violence (kicking, slapping, hitting someone with a bat) abuse (emotional and physical) hospitals, cursing, shouting, crying, mentions of injuries from violence, flinching. Pls be careful reading if any of these are triggering for you and pls let me know if I missed anything

Ateez x male hybrid reader

So, sorry this took so long, I had a massive writers block, but I hope this long part can make up for it

Taglist: @jonghoshoe @little-precious-baby @twancingyunhoe @sansbun @yunhofingers

Yeosang finally got back home after a tough walk there, feet hurting from carrying his wounded body. He didn't come back to a sight he liked though

Wooyoung trying to calm down a sobbing San, jongho typing on their computer, probably something related to y/n. Mingi holding seonghwa and Hongjoong trying to get through to yunho, who seemed to have gone into a state of shock.

Never had he seen the puppy eyed man so empty of life "g-guys?" their heads turned to Yeosang, yunho immediately getting up, anything but friendly intent in his eyes

Those eyes were proven right when the tallest harshly grabbed the other's shirt and started screaming at him "how could you let this happen?!?!?!" Yeosang could see the tears streaming down the older's face

"yunho stop! He did his best to protect y/n" Hongjoong reasoned "it's still his fault that y/n isn't here right now!" Hongjoong pushed himself between the two before a serious fight broke out "yunho! We can argue about this later, right now, we need to find y/n. Focus on what's important!"

Yunho regained some of his common sense back, eyes widening with shock "I-I'm sorry Yeosang, I just.... I don't know what to do"

"it's okay, we're all a little out of it anyway" Yeosang said as he was guided to the bathroom to get his wounds cleaned up by Hongjoong

"Yeosang, before you go, do you remember the car's license plate that they used?" questioned jongho, the older nodded "can you write it down? I'm gonna call a hybrid rescue centre, but they'll need something to track y/n with" Yeosang thought back to the scene, remembering the licence plate to the best of his abilities, and wrote that down

"thanks Yeosang this'll definitely help them get y/n back sooner"

⏳

Meanwhile with y/n, things weren't looking that good for him, he just arrived at his former owners' house, to him it was more like a big scary mansion.

"come on little guy, let's get moving" but y/n didn't even shift, frozen by the fear and trauma the mansion held inside.

The man sighed "alright boys, lift him up, I don't have time for this" the men moved towards the hybrid, to which y/n shrunk back further into the car, he would have shifted if it wasn't for the collar they put on him.

Though he resisted heavily and scratched them deeply, he couldn't stop the men from grabbing him and restraining his movements. "let me go!" he thrashed around

"now since when did you become so bold, tabby?" he froze at the nickname, slowly turning to look at the person he feared ever encountering again. "you thought you could just run away from us without any consequences? Oh wait, you probably don't even know what that means" the woman spat "Well then, looks like I'm gonna have to teach you physically then"

⏳

"you little shit!" a kick came from the man before him "you think you can just leave like that?!" another kick "after everything you still haven't learned to obey?!" a slap was next "I-I'm sorry master-" the hybrid was loudly interrupted by the wife of the violent man "you do not speak unless told to! You worthless tabby!" it resulted in another kick, this time from the woman, who's heels were much sharper than her husband's, resulting him starting to bleed

The slapping and kicking, along with the verbal abuse, continued until y/n was knocked unconscious, either by blood loss or exhaustion, they didn't know

"pathetic" the man took the unconscious hybrid and took him to a separate room "now no one shall see what we'll do to you" he took out a bat as y/n was beginning to become conscious again, and immediately fear took over the boy. The man swung and hit him right on his ribs, he wouldn't be surprised if he had many broken bones by now. The hybrid coughed up blood "w-why are you d-doing this" he was grabbed by the man "because how else am I supposed to use my new tools?" he threw him back onto the ground harshly "and what did I say about talking?!"

⏳

The beating continued for hours, until their doorbell interrupted "ugh, what now?" the man let go off y/n and cleaned up his hands, which were covered in blood "don't you dare make a single noise to alert anyone, I can do a lot worse than this" it was the last thing y/n saw before he fell unconscious again

"hello, What can we do for you?" the woman opened the front door, trying to sound as sweet and innocent as she could "ma'am we've had an informant tell us you kidnapped a hybrid and are now keeping it in bad condition" an officer said, a whole crew stood behind him, ready to force their way into the house

"now why would we ever do that? We're just content by how we're living now, without any hybrid" the man said "than, you wouldn't mind if we looked around your house" that made the couple freeze in their steps "w-well, you don't have a search warrant so-" he was interrupted by the officer taking out a paper "we do have one, actually"

The couple started to panic, well aware of the state the hybrid was in if someone found him "I-I will not allow you to enter my house! Who are you people anyway?!" the officer signalled the crew behind him to start moving into the house "hybrid rescue centre"

As the crew walked in, the couple was promptly arrested. Seeing as they weren't expecting anyone over, they didn't clean up the blood from y/n. The captain and fellow officers searched around the house for the hybrid

"captain! I found the hybrid, but he's in pretty bad shape, we'll need a stretcher to carry him" the captain heard from his walky talky "good job, get him to the ambulance" the officer did so, receiving help to carry y/n onto the stretcher and get him out to the ambulance "contact the owners, tell them we got him back"

⏳

Meanwhile, the members were sitting around anxiously, waiting for the phone call that would determine y/n's savety "what if they don't get him out of there?" the others looked at mingi, their hearts breaking at the sight of the taller, tears threatening to fall out of his eyes. Jongho went to hug him "they'll get him out of there" he said determined.

At that moment, the phone started ringing. Hongjoong went to pick it up "Kim Hongjoong speaking, how can I help you?"

"yes, hello, this is the hybrid rescue centre, we're calling to inform you your hybrid has been retrieved" Hongjoong's eyes lit up at that, the others followed suit "unfortunately, he suffered several injuries, with multiple fatal ones, so he'll have to stay here for a few days until his wounds have healed"

he wanted to tear up at the mention of his kitten getting hurt, by the people who were supposed to take care of him nonetheless "I-I understand, we'll come see him as soon as possible" he hung up "well, what happened?" wooyoung asked "they got y/n back, but..... He has a lot of injuries, with a couple of fatal ones, so he'll have to stay at the centre for a few days" their faces morphed from excitement to sorrow at the mention of his injuries "well, what are we waiting for? Let's go see y/n"

⏳

As they arrived at the centre, they saw one of the officers waiting outside for them "you must be y/n's owners, come with me" they followed him into the various halls "how is he?" yunho asked anxiously

"he's in a stable condition, but he hasn't woken up yet. We managed to get the custody papers from his former owners however, we'll hand them over to you soon"

As they finally reached y/n's room, they started to feel fear, just how bad did they hurt him? They opened the door and like the officer said, he wasn't awake yet. The hybrid was covered in bandages and had several bruises, it was enough to make them tear up "y/n.......I'm so sorry, this is all my fault" Yeosang broke down on his knees in front of his bed "if I just protected you better, this wouldn't have happened" his sobbing broke the other members, who started crying as well "it's not your fault" a soft, quiet voice said, as Yeosang felt his hand being held. He looked up at the hybrid and saw him looking back at Yeosang "y/n...." he held his hand, afraid to hurt him if he did so anywhere else

"are you okay, kitten?" seonghwa asked concerned as he kissed the hybrid's forehead "......I'll be okay, don't worry about it" Hongjoong went over to seonghwa's side and held y/n's hand "but we do worry about you, and that's okay for us, because from now on we'll take extra good care of you" the hybrid gazed up at Hongjoong with eyes that could hold the galaxy "really?"

"yes kitten, really" he stepped aside to let the other boys through to y/n, and one by one, they all came up to him, talked, cried or simply were just there with him in that moment. The only one that who was left, was yunho, who'd been relatively quiet throughout the whole day

"yunho, are you okay?" the older lifted his head up, tears streaming down his eyes. This worried y/n "yunho, what's wrong?" said person started walking towards his bed and collapsed in front of y/n "I-I thought- I thought I lost you"

"I-it all happened so fast, I thought I'd never see you again" he sobbed and carefully embraced y/n, being careful not to hurt him "I'm okay now yunho, see, I'm here with you now" he tried him cheering up, and it worked a little bit as his sobbing died down into small sniffles and hiccups.

"I'll be okay, Yunho. It's just a few small injuries, right?" the others tensed at how y/n seemingly brushed off his injuries "....The doctor said you'll have to stay here until you're healed, would you like one of us to stay here with you tonight?" he nodded at seonghwa's question" is there any member in particular you want to stay with?" of course all of the members hoped to be chosen, but they'd keep it fair and go along with y/n's wishes "......can Hongjoong stay tonight?"

"off course, it'll be like a night at the studio" the hybrid smiled widely at Hongjoong's comment and nodded. The rest of their visit was filled with talking and cuddles. Before it was time to leave, seonghwa took Hongjoong out the room, to talk "I'm worried y/n isn't telling us the truth about his wellbeing"

"so you noticed too" seonghwa nodded "it's just.....the way he brushed off his injuries like they were just small bruises, something doesn't sit right with me" Hongjoong understood where he was coming from, the hybrid's behaviour was definitely not something they were expecting from someone who could've died if the rescue team took too long "I'm not asking you to find out what he's hiding from us, I just want you to take care of him when his walls do come down"

⏳

"are you sure you're comfortable, Hongjoong, I don't want you to wake up with an aching back" said person smiled reassuringly "I'll be fine y/n, besides, if my back does start to ache, I can always sleep on the other bed, for now I just wanna be close to you" Hongjoong said as he took y/n's hand and held it gently "even after everything, your hands are still so soft, kitten"

They went to sleep rather peacefully considering what happened that day, but it all came crashing down eventually. Around one in the morning, y/n woke up from a nightmare about what had happened and by shooting up as fast as he did, caused his ribs to hurt as they were still fractured by the beatings he went through.

He started to cry, it only adding more pain to his already hurting ribs. The crying eventually reached Hongjoong's ears as he woke up "kitten....what's wrong, why are you crying" he went to pet y/n's head, but the hybrid flinched away "d-don't hurt me!" the sentence broke Hongjoong's heart. Just how much did his former owners harm him?

"y/n, it's okay I'm here" the older said as he slowly sat down on y/n's bed, carefully grasping his hands and caressing them with his thumbs "hey....look at me, its gonna be okay, they're gone now" he calmed down after a couple of minutes, his panic dying down into sobs "I-it hurts" Hongjoong looked a bit confused, but also very concerned at the hybrid "what hurts, kitten?" y/n took one of his hands back and placed it on his ribs "here, I got up too quick and it hurt a lot...then I started crying and it started to hurt more"

Hongjoong fully got on y/n's bed, swinging his leg over the boy so they were on either side "did it hurt before that too or is it just starting to now" he looked away, guilt slowly settling down into the boy ".....before that too..." this is what he was hiding, he's been hurting all this time and he didn't want anyone to know "I just- you guys already looked so stressed out from having me taken away, I didn't wanna add on to that" Hongjoong carefully took the hybrid's head, one hand settled on his cheek, the other gently petting his cat ear

"kitten, we really don't mind that kind of stuff. You mean a lot to us and your health is really important to us. So please, when you are hurting, either physically or mentally, please tell us" y/n nodded as Hongjoong brought his head into the older's chest "it's gonna be okay kitten, soon enough you'll be all better and ready to come back home with us"

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juyeoniemyhoney · 4 years

Text

can this morning never end

Namjoon is the most beautiful human being to ever walk the earth. It is natural that you have a crush on him. You expect that eventually, your feelings will die out but then, you find yourself squealing uncontrollably outside of the library that you and Namjoon had agreed to meet at for your pair-work assignment. You have always watched Namjoon from afar. It surprises you when you find out that Namjoon has been observing you too. Well, there’s a first for everything.

-pairing: Kim Namjoon x reader

-genre: FLUFF, a lil bit of angst, high school/secondary school au (where i live high school is called secondary school;-;)

-warnings: vulgarities, pretty self-depreciating writing if im gonna be honest so be weary, Namjoon is a little bit of a simp for oc in this one, the ending is lowkey shit rip im sorry

-word count: 3208 words

-A/N: hi hi im back, this time with a Namjoon fic. i havent been writing a lot because im so preoccupied with my exams. in all honesty, i shouldnt be writing at all but i have absolutely no sense of self control, so i wrote this. it’s not my best but i really like how joon’s so soft in this so i decided to post it anyway. don’t be afraid to tell me how you liked (or didnt like) this imagine! and requests are open! hope you enjoy this one:)

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As you approach the entrance of the library, your heart starts beating a mile a minute.

You stall outside the automatic sliding doors, mind racing with a million scenarios. You freak out a little and silently squeal, earning you disapproving frowns and judging eyes from passers-by. But you don't care. You've waited a whole week for today.

A week ago, during English class, you were busy writing instead of paying attention, as usual, when your teacher had given the class the assignment to write a scenario, of any genre but it had to contain the writer's techniques she had taught in class. And she made the whole class pair up. You, too lost in the world of fanfiction, had not been listening and frankly, you didn't really care, passing her words off as just more homework.

The next thing you knew, Kim Namjoon had turned around in his chair, calling your name in that deep, gravelly voice. At the sound of his voice, your head immediately shot up, eyes wide in surprise.

"Do you want to partner up?" he had asked, lips slinging into an easy grin, eyes curling up and that goddamned dimple making itself made known on his left cheek. He patiently waited for your answer, eyes periodically glancing down to your desk that was in disarray, pieces of paper containing your words messily covering every corner of your desk. You pray that he didn't catch a peep of your (admittedly) cringeworthy fanfic as you tried to subtly gather the papers before he could read too much.

"Um, partner up for what?" you questioned, confused, head tilting ever so slightly to the right in question, brows furrowed in misunderstanding. He mirrored your actions and your heart had unwontedly skipped a beat. A beat of silence passed, "For the assignment?"

Before you could ask what assignment?, your teacher had interrupted your conversation with a satisfied clap and a smile. "Alright, I assume you have all found your partners. I'll give you time to work on your assignment right now. Remember that planning is the most important stage of writing. Do approach me if you have any questions."

Namjoon had turned back to you with a wry grin that looked a tad bit awkward, saying, "Well, I guess we're partners now."

Which is how you find yourself freaking the fuck out in front of a library on a Saturday morning, mind racing with different, absurd scenarios and outcomes of this meeting. You decide to take another minute to compose yourself.

You wouldn't say that you like Namjoon per se. You just think he is the most handsome man to walk on this godforsaken planet. But seriously, that man is far too beautiful to be real. From the first time you met him til now, you have no doubt that that man is a celestial being, gifted to the world from the gods, purely to cleanse the eyes of us, mere mortals. To make matters worse, he is smart too; of a wisdom thousands of years beyond his age. You still can't believe you've had the god-given opportunity to meet someone like him.

Okay so, maybe you kind of like him a lot, more than you let on, but you're not really sure if you like him because he's Namjoon or if it's because you are lovelorn, touch deprived, or both.

You reckon it has taken more than a minute to compose yourself because by the time you snap out of your daze, you are five minutes late when you had actually arrived five minutes earlier than the agreed timing. You sigh and finally walk through the doors that welcome you into the cooling library, cold blasts from the air conditioning cooling down the fierce blush that had taken refuge on your cheeks.

You immediately proceed to find a seat but Namjoon texts you, telling you that he's already a step ahead of you, having secured a seat in a room with tables on the second floor.

When you reach the second floor, and make your way towards the rooms, you can see Namjoon through the glass walls, sitting down and silently reading a book as he waits for you. The closer you draw to the room, the faster your heart pounds in your chest. The sound is deafening and distracting and you don't even realise how fast you had walked until you are finally knocking on the glass door, sending Namjoon a small smile when he looks up at you.

"Hi, Y/N," he greets, smile widening into a grin so wide that it hides his eyes. Your heart stops but you hide it with a small smile as you settle down your things and yourself opposite him.

"So, what genre did you want to write about," he asks as you take a pen and a piece of paper out from your bag. You freeze when your brain registers his sentence. "The assignment is to write a story?"

Namjoon stares at you wordlessly for a while, speechless that it's been a week and you still don't know what the fucking assignment is. You, however, have no idea that he is thinking about how stupid you are and happily stare back at him, taking in his mono lidded, almond-shaped eyes and the dark brown of his irises. His nose bridge is straight and the tip of his nose is a little flat, like a koala. You have never wanted to boop a nose so bad in your entire life.

"Yeah, that's the assignment," he responds patiently, giving you a gentle smile. You can't help but feel that it seems a little tight and forced, like he is regretting asking you be his partner, and regretting that he didn't have enough time to reconsider. You ignore the feeling of dejection that slowly bubbles up inside of you.

"I thought that it'd be easiest to write romance since you're so well versed in that.". You freeze. Time seems to have stopped and your ears refuse to register the rest of what Namjoon is saying, tuning everything out but your deafening thoughts. You have to remind yourself to breathe.

"You know that I write?" you interrupt Namjoon. He stops and fixes you a look of confusion, like it is so obvious that you write. It's not that you've been trying to keep it a secret. The thing is, for most of your stories, Namjoon is the main male character. In most of your stories, you have described every single part of him in excruciating detail, his eyes and lips especially. When your friends had first read your stories with Namjoon as the male protagonist, they had caught on quickly, almost immediately asking you if you were describing Namjoon because of how well you had described him. A bad feeling washes over you.

"Yeah, you're always scribbling away during English so I got curious and asked a few of your classmates," he responds, flashing you another lopsided smile. If this were any other situation, your heart would have been absolutely eliminated because of that smile but in this situation, all you can think about is if he's read any of your work. Because if he has, you're done for.

"What did my classmates say?" you question hesitantly, still deciding if you want to know his answer.

"Well they said that you've been writing since forever. They also said that a lot of people know that you write. Oh, and they also said that you had some published works so I went to check them out—" Namjoon's voice fades out as he continues to talk.

This is it.

It's the end of your social life. Namjoon is going to tell his loud ass group of friends that you write stalker-esque stories about him and then one of his friends is going to accidentally tell their girlfriend and then the girlfriend is going to spread it across the school and you'll be known as the loser who writes creepy stalker stories about Namjoon—

"It was amazing," you hear Namjoon say in between your mild quarter-life crisis. You pause and look him square in the eye. You want to come off as serious but you falter slightly when Namjoon stares back at you, irises a whirlpool of dark brown and glittering fascination, a swirling vortex that draws you in with a vicious intent of drowning.

"Yes?" Namjoon questions you after a beat of silence passes. You want to ask him if he knows that he is reading about himself but you stop yourself. "You like my stories?" you ask instead, feeling a tad bit shy now that you've realised that Namjoon likes what you write about him.

He lets out a small laugh, "Is it that hard to believe that I like what you write?"

"I was just surprised." He flashes you another wide grin and there it is, those cursed dimples show themselves again, grinning tauntingly at you and your heart commits the highest act of treason when it starts to beat faster. You gulp.

"You shouldn't be surprised. It was really good. I really liked it when you described the male character. It felt like I was looking at him myself. That's why I asked you to be my partner. I'm sure with your talents, we can get a really good mark on this assignment."

Your heart thuds a little faster when Namjoon tells you that his favourite part was reading about how you described him. But it falls to your stomach when he tells you that he picked you solely for your supposed talents. You don't know why, but a part of you had thought that maybe Namjoon wanted to get to know you better, and was using this assignment as an excuse. You thought that it was finally happening, someone you like has finally noticed you. But it looks like you thought wrong.

"Thank you," you say meekly, flashing him a half-hearted smile that you're sure he notices from the way he stiffens. "So, you said that you thought that romance would be a good genre, but what do you want to write about?"

Namjoon is silent for a while, lips pursed in ponder. You wait patiently for his answer.

"Well, I thought that I'd wanted to write romance too," he answers flashing you an awkward smile. The silence that follows is palpable and suddenly, you feel so very exhausted. "Well then, that's settled. Now we just have to think of a situation."

"How about this one?" Namjoon asks immediately after you finish your sentence. He says it rather suddenly and it startles you a little. You can't help but hear a certain extent of desperation in this voice. He wants to get this over with, you tell yourself.

"How do you mean?"

"Kinda like us now," he starts but stops to think about what to say next. You remain silent. "We should just write about us but make it a love story. For example, the two main characters are supposed to do a project together so they meet at a library," he pauses to gesture to the shelves surrounding the both of you.

"Then they start working on the project and they start talking. Then, somehow, the boy confesses to her. And the girl tells him she's always felt the same way. We can come up with how he confesses since I myself haven't come up with that yet," he continues, softening the last part of his sentence into a mumble that you barely hear, but still do. You pause. What the fuck?

"What did you say? I didn't hear you," you ask against your better judgement, curiosity getting the best of you. "Huh? Oh, it was nothing."

A furious blush begins to spread on the apples of Namjoon's cheeks, and for some reason, your body begins to mirror him, heart pumping hot blood to the blood vessels that lay beneath the skin of your cheeks. Namjoon shyly directs his gaze to his lap, dark brown bangs, the colour of his eyes, coming down in luxurious curls and waves to hide his eyes. You can't help but think that you like to see Namjoon like this; soft and shy and vulnerable because he is usually so confident and suave. It feels like he is showing a new side of himself to you, like he is peeling back the layers of masks and personas he has built until he is left raw and natural, allowing you to see everything that he is. The thought of that leaves you feeling winded because it is exactly what you want. And suddenly, you don't feel bashful or shy because of his words. Instead, you are determined, hellbent on making something out of this and you hope with your whole being that it is a relationship.

You are about to say something, to question him, bombard him until he is spilling his feelings in fumbled words and sentences of desperation and want, clawing at you until you too, are raw and vulnerable. But he beats you to it, speaking in a soft, hushed tone, as if you are a stern silence that he is afraid of interrupting.

"I think you're amazing, Y/N. What do you think of me?"

He stares meekly at his lap, too afraid to even spare you a glance. You remain silent, building his desperation like you are some professional flirt. In all honesty, you really just want to tell him you like him too but you're just so scared. The evidence that he at least feels something for you is right in front of you and yet your brain rejects it like a vending machine rejects a bill, walls built far too high and thick that words are no longer enough to convince you. He has to show you. And you think he knows that too.

Namjoon's head shoots up to stare you in the eyes, a new found determination and confidence burning in his eyes. The way the light finds his dark brown irises makes your heart do a million somersaults. They light up and turn into a golden brown you can't help but compare to a sweet, caramel syrup that coats your tongue in golden, sugary gratification. You swallow so hard, you feel the sides of your throat rub together painfully.

"I think you're freaking amazing, Y/N. Every time I look at you, I always want to make myself better. For you. I want to become the best version of myself in hopes that it'll satisfy you and garner your attention. And I really like that you do what makes you happy. I absolutely love it when you write in English because you're always so focused and serious, plus, you make that really cute face when you're concentrating and it always makes my heart beat a little faster and it makes me hate that I sit in front of you because I have to keep finding stupid reasons to turn around just to look at you and I just think you're the most amazing, admirable, lovable person ever," Namjoon lets out. His words are rushed and desperate and you melt like goddamn candle wax.

"I'm— Wow, I'm— thank you, Namjoon. That really means a lot to me," you stutter, not really knowing what to say at first but finding your words soon enough. "Oh, and I feel the same way," you add, somehow missing the main point of your response. It doesn't matter anyway. He knows now. That's all that matters.

"Wait, really?"

You let out a laugh. "Yeah, Namjoon. Is it that hard to believe that I like you too?" you reply, a homage to your previous conversation.

Namjoon smiles a small smile, then it widens, and widens, and widens, until he is flashing you a blinding grin that could outright beat the glare of sunlight. "You said that you like me," he points out, eyes shining.

It is your turn to blush in embarrassment, cheeks feeling hot as you begin to sink into yourself, hair falling from behind your shoulders to hopefully make itself useful as a curtain to shield your red face from Namjoon. Something in Namjoon's chest begins to splinter at the sight. He is so very tempted to pull out his phone and snap a picture of you but he holds himself back at the thought that he is positive he has many more chances to do so. His ribs nearly break in half because of how hard his heart beats.

"It's a good thing that I like you too," he says gently, smile now gentle instead of blinding. "Also, we have a plot now!" he exclaims in excitement as he slides the pen and paper closer to himself, ready to start on your assignment.

"Wait."

"Yeah?"

"So, we're, are we? You know... Um, dating now?"

Namjoon's eyes widen in horror and he deflates himself, a disappointed frown pulling his eyebrows together at the centre and turning the corners of his lips down. "Shit, I'm sorry I didn't ask— I just assumed—" he cuts himself off, clearing his throat dramatically.

"Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?" he asks. Somehow, he still feels nervous even though he knows that you answer is a resounding, "Yes, I would love to be your girlfriend."

Namjoon lets out the breath he didn't even know he was holding and it comes out in a relieved sigh. "Thank God because if not our story would have a horrible ending," Namjoon comments, picking the pen back up and clicking it open.

"Let's write that," you cut in before he can say anything else. "Write a sad love story?"

Namjoon is going to tell you no, to completely disapprove of your idea because writing a sad love story is one thing but writing a sad love story that will be handed up to your teacher for her to grade is another thing. But then, he sees your eyes glisten in determination and he dispels his thoughts immediately, folding into himself like a goddamn lawn chair. He can't believe he was just about to say no to you. What the fuck is wrong with him?

"Please? I'm better at writing angst. Plus, we have a happy ending and that's all that matters," you press, trying to convince him. You don't have a real reason other than the fact that you write angst better. You also don't really know why you want to write angst right now when you feel as if you could fly. But it doesn't matter. None of it matters anymore. Namjoon is your's now.

Namjoon flashes you a dimpled smile, eyes curling up and glittering with mirth and unadulterated belief in you. You can't help but think that you want him to never stop smiling like that, looking at you like you are some sort of celestial being, hailed from the sky solely to bring him every sort of merriment known to mankind and the heavens. The thought of him thinking of you like that scares you, because you are always afraid of not being enough. But Namjoon diminishes all of your worries with a short sentence, manhandling them by the throat and shoving them off a cliff.

"Okay, I believe in you."

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voxofthevoid · 4 years

Text

Taking It Up The Ass Isn’t Character Growth - A Rant

So, in response to an ask a while back, I said I had a rant brewing on fandom and sex positions, and well, a lot of you wanted to see it, so here you go. You literally asked for it.

Disclaimer: This is going to talk a lot about top/bottom roles in slash fic and fandom attitude towards them and is heavily filtered through the lens of my own tastes and experiences with fandom. I’d also like to be upfront that I am 100% in favor of people writing whatever fictional content they want, and it’s not what fandom does with characters that bothers me but rather how that translates into attitudes towards real, live people. Also, this is the essay version of a slow burn AU because I regurgitate my entire fandom history before getting to the point. Beware.

I discovered fan-fiction around a decade ago, had no clue what the hell it was, got hooked and dived deeper. I started participating in fandom circa 2013, and I was fairly young and also completely inexperienced both sexually and romantically. The fandom in question was Hannibal and my ship of choice was Hannibal/Will. It was/is a very chill fandom in general, but we had our drama. And chief among the contentious topics was—you guessed it—the top/bottom debate. I can’t actually remember any other topic that was discussed and argued for so ardently in that fandom, at least in those days. Even after I drifted away, I came across a few posts on the matter.

Generally, you had two camps—people who supported strict roles and those who were in favor of switching*. And because we’re a society plagued by illogical assumptions, the strict role camp mostly had people who thought Mr. Big Bad Cannibal in the Fancy Suits wouldn’t take it up the ass because he’s older, more experienced, more mentally stable, and of course, more ‘dominant’ in personality. Yes, that sentence is chock full of problematic shit. I am aware. Lots of people were aware and argued strongly against attributing top/bottom roles to personality. I don’t remember anyone arguing as enthusiastically for Top Will, but those voices were also there. But the general idea was that assigning strict top/bottom roles to a male/male couple was casting them in a heterosexual mold and thus, the progressive option was to make them switch. Strict roles also garnered comparisons to “yaoi” and uke/seme stereotypes, which was of course bad and fetishizing and we, the Western media fans, of course had to do better. Stealth racism is fun to untangle.

Anyway, I lapped up the woke juice. Partly because I was a baby queer from Buttfuck Nowhere, Asia, who had zero exposure to LGBT+ communities and what queer folks did with each other. Partly because it was the stance taken by most of my favorite writers so it seemed like a good position to emulate.

Emulate it I did. Most discussions I had about this happened in private with the handful of close friends I had in fandom. Where it really showed was in my writing. I made sure to write switching—maybe not in every fic, but then I alternated between fics. Thing is though, I did have a preference. I liked Top Will. I created and consumed a ton of Top Hannibal, and sometimes it was okay, sometimes it was not, but I couldn’t pinpoint why it made me uncomfortable. Back then, I thought I was a cis questioning/bi girl and once again, the impression I got was that not being MLM, having a preference was automatic fetishization. So I tried my best to justify my preferences, to my friends at least. I think what I said was that fandom was skewed towards Top Hannibal, and I liked the opposite because I’m a contrary fuck. Which I am, to be fair, but this was just me desperately trying to figure shit out without being offensive.

That’s the line I touted all the way until 2018, which was when I fucked off to grad school in A City, finally freed of Buttfuck Nowhere and able to actually date. At this point, I was settled in my sexuality (girls only) and questioning my gender (non-binary or trans guy). I had also tentatively figured out during undergrad that I’m an exclusive top and a Dom. Actual attempts at dating cemented that, yes, those are my preferences, about as flexible as a steel rod. Cue motherfucking epiphany over my fanfic tastes.

And see, over these years, I was engaging intermittently with fandom. I dutifully wrote switch couples. I also continued to have rigid tastes and continued to explain it away as being a contrary fuck—to be fair, until Steve/Bucky, my preference did seem to be the opposite of the larger fandom preference. But correlation, as we know, isn’t causation. Until Steve/Bucky, I continued to write versatile couples because I honestly didn’t have the guts to just say I liked it just one way. I do now but even then, I feel compelled to add that it’s because I want to see my own taste reflected in fic, so I write/read the character I relate to as a top, it's not that deep etc. Would I be as forthright if I didn’t have that reason? Would I have such strict preferences in fic if I didn’t have strict preferences IRL? The latter’s a mystery, but the former isn’t—I wouldn’t be because fandom is still entrenched in the same ideas that got me to this point to begin with.

In every fandom I’ve been in, I’ve seen some version of this debate go around. Sometimes, it’s one party saying “why would you write Character X as a bottom, he’s so Reason A” and a reblog chain that insults the OP and/or extols the virtues of switching. Sometimes, it’s a general-ish message that says they don’t understand why people have strict preferences when we all know real gay couples switch. Sometimes, it’s blanket statements that accuse anyone with preferences of fetishizing. Sometimes, it’s the same reasoning that gets you “Character Y is a top because of Reason B” transposed on versatile couples except this takes the form of “they switch because they’re equals.”

Ya’ll, I’m fucking tired.

I have long since lost count of the number of stories I’ve seen where an exclusive top learning bottom and liking it is character growth. Where a character who prefers to bottom taking a turn on top is empowering.

Isolated, these are fine. But I’ve seen enough of such stories that it’s distinctly discomfiting and a major squick. Sometimes a trigger, if I'm too immersed in the story. I’m not going to try and burn an author at the stake because they pissed me off. I am just going to close that window and quietly handle my shit. People can write whatever they want. But this one theme hits too close to home, as you can see from this 1.6k rant.

My friend (also my ex-girlfriend) and I had an all-out bitching session about this the other day. Both of us are kinky fuckers who have rigid, complementary roles we prefer and we have both had our grueling days of struggling to reconcile our sexual tastes with our ideologies precisely because of how these things are frowned upon in conservative and progressive circles. Seeing that in fandom, of all places, is both insulting and exhausting. Topping and bottoming aren’t personality traits. Neither is D/s. It’s sexual preference and power play. It really does not have to be that deep. I am not exorcising childhood trauma using the bodies of women. My partners, former and current, have not been brainwashed by the patriarchy. We will not become better, more complete individuals once I magically stop being a stone top and my partners embrace the joys of a strap-on.

I have, with my own two eyes, seen someone say that in a really committed relationship, of course the couple will switch.

Bullshit.

It’s transparent bullshit. This does not get attributed to cisgender M/F couples. Even when the automatic assumptions of woman = bottom and man = top get addressed, switching isn't presented as the default. No one’s saying “oh, if you really love your husband, you’ll peg him”. I do know butch/femme sapphic couples get their own share of shit. Because it’s all heteronormativity, right? Can’t have any other reason for top/bottom roles.

You have two extremes with “so who’s the woman” on one end and “it’s woke only if they switch” on the other, and as far as I’m concerned, they’re equally damaging. There shouldn’t be a pressure, however subtle, to conform your taste in fiction to some arbitrary idea of progressiveness. People are going to like whatever they want anyway; all this does is create an atmosphere where those likes can’t always be freely expressed without a lot of mental gymnastics. We’re seeing so many versions of this in the pushback against so-called problematic content, but smaller, subtler versions exist too.

Fictional characters aren’t real. They can be whatever you want them to be. And yes, other people will often want them to be the exact opposite of your ideas, but that’s just how things work. Meanwhile, the people behind these usernames? They’re real. No one should be throwing real people under the bus to ‘protect’ characters that don’t exist. Hannibal Lecter doesn’t care whether he gets fucked or dismembered in Author B’s fanfiction, but the discourse that surrounds the dick up his ass? That does affect flesh and blood people.

I am not claiming that this is the only attitude in fandom. Middlegrounds do exist. Plenty of people abide by fic and let fic and there are folks who pipe up to say not every RL queer couple switches. But it’s often the extremes that reach most people. That was certainly my experience, and I’m not the only one.

I don’t really know how to end this post. It is 100% a rant and one that’s been building up for a while. Bottom line is that people’s sexual behavior varies wildly and whenever you attack sexual tastes in fanfic by saying it’s unrealistic - or worse because let’s be real, that’s a very tame word choice - please remember that there’s likely someone out there who practices it.

* I’m using switch and versatile synonymously in this post. It’s mostly concerned with top/bottom debates. A lot of what I’m saying is also echoed in portrayals of and discussions surrounding D/s dynamics, but I’m not addressing that as much for now.

#fandom #top bottom discourse #wow that's a tag #here it is the rant i promised #because i don't quite trust tumblr i feel compelled to add that this is ofc not some kind of attack on actual people who switch either #you do you man #live your best life #vox has opinions

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androgynousblackbox · 3 years

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why do you hate 50 shades of grey so much? I have never watched or read (whichever one it is cuz im not aware if its a movie or book) 50 shades of grey but i heard you saying you hate it because it romanticizes abuse, i thought you said no matter how you write a work of fiction it will always be a work of fiction and that its okay as long as the creator dosent actually support it? So whats wrong? Or does the creator actually support abuse in real life? (If so thats disgusting)

I hate the book because Cristian Grey, the actual protagonist of the book, is the most boring, tedious, frustrating and toxic male character I had to force myself to keep reading just to finish the first book. The rest of the books I read through other people commenting on them and that is how I knew it only gets worse from there. And that would have been one thing, mind you. If asshole toxic men who are so insecure on their own masculinity that they get legit offended at their date planning to pay for fucking pancakes is something someone is into, good on you, but then the author E.L. James has refused multiple times to aknowledge any criticism of her book, even if these came from survivors of abuse trying to warn her about how they saw many of their experiences reflected on those books and were rightfully concerned about seeing it promoted as a “sexy romance” with no further nuance. Her excuse for doing this is that she is “defending women with these kind of fantasies” completely ignoring that women can take aknowledging that their fantasies wouldn’t work in reality. Fuck, most women are already aware of this anyway. But not E.L James. If she just said “oh, yeah, I get it, but this is just make believe, I don’t expect anyone to take this as a guide for their relationship” I would have 99 less problems with this book, but the fact that she actually promotes it as high sexy romance and has come out to show, again and again, that she doesn’t see anything wrong with Grey’s behaviour, well, that I think is fucked up. If you grab an average rape smut fanfic writer from the A03 and ask them about what they write, they will tell you to please read the warnings because there is abuse and abuse is bad and they are aware not everyone is going to enjoy it on their fiction. People who have written far more disgusting, explicit and out there stuff that James would never conceive would all go “oh, yeah, no, that is bad” at the prospect of anyone imitating their works because THEY KNOW the difference between a fun fantasy and reality. The fact that people were already ignorant about BDSM and E.L. James clearly didn’t consulted with anyone from the scene to despict it fairly or accurately is also pretty daming, althought this point less than others. It’s lazy and disrespectful to portray a community like she has done, but I don’t blame her for not being a documentary or a guide on how to be kinky. I don’t care that she is unrealistic or wrote a fanfic only after reading one wikipedia article, that is fine. But if you are going to do that, I don’t think it’s too much to ask you to not call it BDSM. Don’t call it kink because that is going to be even more confusing for people who didn’t know any better before and it makes real people look like absolutely shit. Or at the very least admit you didn’t do that much research from the very start. Like that is just irresponsible, no matter how you slice it. Imagine a world where E.L. James actually listened to people. A world where a major author of one of the most succesfull franchises in recent times comes out and say “this is a fantasy, it’s not real and that is okay.” Then we would have conversation about the power of such fantasies while fully recognizing that they don’t have to be based on reality and that doesn’t make them less valuable. Maybe we could have a talk about other fantasies that we know would not be doable in reality and how they are also okay. I don’t know, but we will never know about it

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