#feeling really happy with this one I went through such a hate/love cycle with this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neruro · 9 months

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my dear streamer,

✧˚ · . all our eyes are on you!

- character/s: scaramouche x reader

- notes: 1.3k words, streamer au, angst(?), reverse comfort

Trending on Twitter, always on the front page of Twitch, article after article being posted about how he was the year’s most beloved streamer.

Any sliver of his face being shown to the public was obsessed on by his fans. Any girl he was rumored to be friendly with was the target of jealous fangirls. A missed stream had his fans taking to Twitter, and the cycle would start all over again.

Until it all stopped.

For a few hours on a Sunday, it felt like the world stilled. No stream schedule like usual, no tweet degrading a desperate fan, no one in his circle tagging him in tweets... His fans lived a few hours of their life without him.

Until they realized something was wrong, of course.

Suddenly Twitter was blowing up with his hashtag asking where he was. The streamer’s notifications were getting more noticeable each hour of no contact with his adoring, devoted, obsessive fans. ‘Where are you?’ turned into assumptions, rumors, only getting worse and more maddening as the minutes ticked on the clock.

They weren’t doing anything wrong, of course! Just wondering where their dear streamer has gone! Their dear streamer has left them without a word, they deserve an explanation! He should be thankful he has so many supporters who care for him.

And yet the streamer sat curled up on his bed, indigo eyes blurred and unfocused, dark hair messy and unbrushed, pale, slender fingers trembling as he looked for a familiar face in his contacts. His breathy voice was shaky and unstable as he murmured under his breath, hugging his knees closer to his chest in a futile effort to soothe himself in any way.

“Please, please, please pick up...” He begged, hearing the phone ring.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Eventually he heard your voice. So precious and calming through the horrid noise that clouded his mind. Ah, right. You were probably tired, weren’t you? You deserved all the rest in the world, not having him call you and disturb your much needed slumber.

“... Scara?” Your voice said, rusty from sleep. “You okay? It’s really late.”

He stayed silent for a moment. Why he needed you in particular, he didn't really know. Childe slept in the room beside his, and Albedo was online around this time, preoccupied with art. It would be easier to talk to them, he would feel like less of a burden if he just sucked it up, no one would have to worry if he went online and continued on as usual. But he just couldn’t help but rant, beg, plead for you. How selfish of him.

“... Please.” Scaramouche choked out. "Please, please, please. Can you come over? I- I really can't... I need you."

After a brief moment of hesitation that allowed his thoughts to haunt him, he heard you respond.

"... I'll be right there." You said softly, without question. "Don't do anything stupid, okay? Stay in your room."

He felt sick to his stomach. You were leaving your cozy bedroom that he loved so much to go to him. He didn't deserve this for breaking down about the job he was so privileged to have in the first place. Shouldn't he be happy...?

All the commotion was his fault, naturally.

When he finally dipped his toes in the water to try and become a streamer, he didn't care about the hate. The harsh words, the eyes on his every move, the fact that the only thing separating his dual lives was the face reveal that he had teased relentlessly. In fact, he relished in it. He loved seeing the numbers of his viewers on every stream go up to the thousands, he loved seeing hate accounts who's entire life revolved around him, the attention felt like it was exactly what he needed.

To them, he was a god, and they were his mortal followers. He was the object of all their adoration, and he happily played the part. He was needed by so many people, he could make them upset or happy whenever he wanted to. It was positively exhilarating.

He wanted their love, he wanted all of their attention. But it wasn't enough. No, it was never enough. At the end of the day, they didn't know who he was. They can't care for him past the surface. At the end of the day, he didn't have anything to fill the void in his chest, to cure his heart from all of its rotting.

But he didn't deserve it! He was the one at the mercy of his fans! He owed them everything! Everything they asked, everything they demanded, it was his job to give it! He's the puppet, and this is their show, pulling the strings as he flailed about.

These thoughts replayed in his mind.

Over,

and over,

and over again.

They were loud, they were ringing in his ears. It was too much, yet not enough. He needed it to stop, but he needed more.

His thoughts led to you. Among everyone's love, he wanted yours the most. The sweetest dessert that he would happily eat. He wanted to be selfish. He wanted to take all your love until he had none left. Surely then... His heart would stop aching, right? Would you be the one to finally save him after he begged for a cure for so long?

Even if you deemed him a failure, he would beg for you to act out all your love, even if it was fake. You could hate him, you could hurt him, but never take your eyes off him.

"Can this really be love?" He wanted to ask as you sat on his bed beside him, offering him the bitter tea he liked. To know that you brewed this tea for him, by your own hand... He was in debt to someone else today.

"You don't have to do this, Scara." You whispered, putting the cup on his nightstand after he was done with it. "... Streaming, I mean– I've seen the commotion... And what it seems it's done to you..."

You trailed off, waiting patiently for him to respond. He wondered if you understood how he felt. Did the dark, ugly thoughts plague your mind too? You were human too, a beautiful one... Were you stronger than him too?

Whatever the answer was, please tell him he's not alone, then you wouldn't be alone either. To him, it's okay to lie. This is all based off lies anyway.

"... It wouldn't be enough." He shook his head. "I... I can't stop. I need this. I want everyone to keep looking at me, to keep on feeding me all this no matter the cost."

He looked up at you, unshed tears in his eyes. His trembling hands found purchase on your shirt and a shaky breath left his lips. "Can I... Rely on you to do this too?" He asked. "I need you the most."

He didn't know why he needed you, but the words you spoke, the way you touched him– He thought he could make a decent guess.

"Scara..." You sighed again, a hand stroking his hair. "I don't want you to cry anymore. So... Take a break. Go on hiatus. I'll be here to take care of you, okay?"

You were silent for a moment. "I'll give you my everything the day you reconcile with yourself. I promise." You told him. "But... If all my love is what you need to help you, you already have it."

It wasn't enough.

But it came pretty close. Once a promise was spoken, there would be no more lies. No betrayal. If you would make a promise, then he would too.

'... Even after I pay off my debt to you... I'll give you my all. This puppet show is dedicated to you.'

#ren tried :')#scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #wanderer x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #i refuse to call twitter x fight me

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fragileruns · 9 months

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welcome backk !!

request for tasm!peter - peter would always blow off reader on dates because he's busy fighting crime and stuff like that, and reader has always been patient with him and understanding until she finally had enough. peter went to her apartment without thinking ( so he was still wearing the suit ) because he wanted to make up with reader right away and then he reveals his identity to her and they make up ( can end with smut )

i am terrible at making requests, and sorry if it would be hard to understand T T

anywaysss happy that you're back :D take caree

sorry this request took so long, lovely! i hope you enjoy! sorry for not including any smut, i’m just not the best at writing it yet.

summary: peter’s been showing up late, or not at all, for all your dates recently and you’re upset, until you find out why.

content warnings: fluff mainly, very slight angst, peter being a stressed baby, gn!reader (i think, let me know if not!), not proofread

The first time it happened was a study date. You had been struggling to grasp the new topic that had been introduced in your mathematics class and Peter, being the braniac he was, had been quick to offer to tutor you. He was supposed to come over that Friday night and have a movie night, after you finished studying. You gave him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he was just running late or had an emergency, but then the hours creeped on and he still never showed. He apologized the next day, claiming May needed help with something and he couldn’t get away (apparently, this ‘something’ had kept him from messaging you that he wouldn’t come, as well, but you decided not to bring that up).

The next time was a bit more annoying. It was date night. You and Peter always set aside at least one day every week to be ‘date night.’ It usually just consisted of take out food and really cheesy movies, but it was nice to be able to spend time together, especially when classes filled up most of your schedules. You had a stressful week, with exams coming up and final projects being due, and you had been looking forward to spending a night with your boyfriend. He always knew how to put you at ease. You waited up for him for hours, but he never showed, again. At least this time he did text you, even though it was nearing midnight and it only read ‘I’m so sorry, this huge emergency came up. I’ll make it up to you with an icecream date tomorrow???’

The cycle continued on. He kept missing minor dates, sometimes showing up hours late or texting you that something came up, and other times just going radio silent until the next day. And you had forgiven him everytime, but he could tell you were getting annoyed and feeling rejected. Rightfully so. He knew he had to make it up to you, somehow, and his best plan of action was to scrape together whatever money he could and find the fanciest restaurant nearby (which wasn’t as fancy as he’d have liked, but it had foods he had never heard of, so he figured it was good enough).

“Okay, listen, I know I’ve been really, really bad at showing up to our dates on time, as in, I haven’t been,” he had started one night, coming into your apartment after one of his classes. You were sitting on the couch, surfing through movies to find something to watch, and he walked over to plop down next to you. “And I know you’ve been stressed with exams, and I just… I want to make it up to you and tell you I’m proud of you for getting through them. So, I made us a reservation at that fancy place - the italian one, down the road? Anyway, it’s for Saturday at 7, and if you don’t totally hate me, I thought it’d be nice.”

You glanced over him, furrowed eyebrows and with only a hint of hope. It was hard to keep believing he’d show up whenever he had missed so many. “I don’t hate you. I just… are you sure you’re gonna show up? I’m really tired of embarrassing myself by just waiting around,” you admitted with a doubtful sigh, and Peter’s heart nearly broke. He felt even worse for missing everything, and he wished more than anything that he could just tell you why.

“Hey, I swear, okay? I — I’m really sorry for missing any of our dates, and I’m sorry you felt embarrassed. But, the only way I don’t show up for this one is if I’m dying in a hospital somewhere, alright?” He rushed to reassure you, hand reaching out to cup your cheek and keep your attention on him. Seeing his puppy dog eyes made you give in quicker than you would have liked to, and you just nodded with a small ‘okay’ to agree. He grinned, leaning in to give you a sweet kiss, before turning back to the TV, decidedly picking some action movie that he thought you’d like.

Saturday came around, and you hated to say it, but you were excited. You had dressed nicely, taking over an hour to get ready just to make sure you looked perfect. You even arrived at the restaurant a few minutes early, waiting outside for Peter to show. He ended up texting you that he’d be running a few minutes late and asked that you went ahead to claim your seats, told you he’d still be there shortly. You lost some hope, but still trusted he’d keep his word and went in to sit down.

By 7:30, most of that trust had died and you apologized to the waiter for wasting so much of her time, but you were sure your date would show. She gave you a sympathetic smile that made you want to curl up and die as you ate your complimentary bread.

By 7:45, you had already send Peter a string of texts, letting him know you were about to leave and would talk to him later. You still hoped he’d respond though, but no luck.

Finally, by 8:00, you had given up all hope and just left, apologizing again to the waiters as you hurried out, eager to get away from the stares. You stopped by a small pizza place on your way back, starving as you hadn’t ate since before noon that day, scarfing down the slice before going to your house. Part of you worried that Peter was, in fact, dying in a hospital somewhere and that was why he didn’t show, though you knew that wasn’t why. Knew he just got caught up with something else, like always.

Peter stared down at his phone, mask held in his other hand as he frowned at your string of texts, all consisting of things like ‘this is humiliating, are you showing up??’ and ‘you promised you’d show.’ He felt that deep pit of guilt, and he didn’t think before swinging to your home, only wanting to make things up to you. Only wanting to make things better before you finally just gave up and broke things off with him. He wasn’t at all focused on the fact that he was wearing his tight suit, mask in his mouth now, identity fully revealed if anyone squinted enough.

His heart was beating a mile a minute, but not because of the adrenaline of the fight or the feeling of whipping through the air. Because he could only imagine how upset and angry you must feel right now, and he felt awful for being the cause of it.

He got to your house in less than half the time it would usually take, moving as quickly as possible, tapping on your bedroom window as soon as he spotted you in bed. You had rolled over at the noise, eyes squinting to see what was going on at first before you spotted him. He noticed the split second of anger that came across your features, but it was quickly replaced with wide eyes as you rushed to let him in. He glanced behind him to make sure nobody was about to throw something at him.

“Peter, you’re —” you had started once you pulled the window up, but you didn’t have time to continue before he started rushing to apologize.

“I’m sosososo sorry, I know I promised and I don’t have a good excuse, and I know you must be so upset right now,” he started, his own eyes wide as he climbed in, hands immediately finding your waist to stand you in front of him, ignoring your own shocked look and attempt at getting words out. “Tell me how to make it up to you, I’ll do anything, I swear. Seriously, Do you want a puppy? A cat? A — a lion? Anything?” He was practically begging.

“Spiderman,” You had responded. His eyebrows furrowed, hands dropping from your waist as he took in what he thought was your request.

“You want — you want Spiderman? Like, a cutout? That’s… okay, I didn’t know you were that big of a fan.”

“No, Peter, you’re… you’re Spiderman,” you stated and he was more confused than ever, but then your hands reached out to grab the mask that had dropped to the floor, and everything clicked together. He had never changed.

“Oh, that — um, I was at a costume party,” he attempted to lie, and it was clear on your face that you weren’t falling for his bluff. “Okay, yes. I’m Spiderman. That’s… sort of why I’ve been so late to everything.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me? Did you not trust me?”

“No. No! That’s not it at all. I just — it’s dangerous. For you to know anything. For you to even be with me, but I’m too selfish to end things. I just didn’t want someone coming after you just because you knew my identity,” he admitted with a frown, upset that you were now in harms way just because of his own stupidity.

“You’ve been doing this alone? You haven’t had any help?”

“What?” He questioned, looking at you as if you had asked the most absurd question possible. You were worried about his help when he had just missed his probably fifth date in a row? And put you in danger? “Um, yeah, I’ve been doing it alone. Look, I’m really sorry about tonight, and I promise —”

“Peter. It’s fine, I’m not mad. Anymore. I just can’t believe you hid this from me. I could’ve helped you, you know?” You cut him off, reaching out to rub your hand over a bruise forming near his eye. He hadn’t really noticed it from the fight, used to being punched around and overly focused on trying to get home to you.

His eyes were wide and filled with both worry and guilt. Guilt over missing tonight. Worry because he had no idea what was going to happen now, because it was about to become ten times harder to keep you safe. If anyone found out you knew his identity, they’d come for you, and Peter really didn’t know how to deal with that.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… I was scared something would happen to you. I can’t lose you,” he admitted, his voice small, and your heart broke.

“You won’t, okay? Nothing’s gonna happen to me, I’m here. But I wish you would’ve told me, I hate thinking about you out there, getting hurt. Not having anyone to patch you up. Is that why you’d wear hoodies so often?”

“Yeah,” he looked slightly embarrassed, and he moved to sit on the edge of your bed, keeping a hold of your hand as you went to sit next to him. “I usually heal up really fast, though, I promise. So it’s not that bad. And I’m really good at patching myself up, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Of course I’m gonna worry about you. I worried about you before I knew you were Spiderman, why would you think I wouldn’t worry about this?” You sighed, scooting closer to him as he wrapped his arms aorund you, moving to hide his face in the crook of your neck. You could tell how messed up he felt about it all with how openly he was craving your affection, but you didn’t say anything and instead just put your hands in his hair, scratching his scalp gently.

“Sweetheart, ‘m gonna fall asleep if you keep doing that,” he said, but you didn’t stop and he didn’t stop you.

“That’s fine. Just go to sleep, bug boy.”

He grumbled something out about the nickname, something about being a man and not a boy, but it was quiet, and he almost immediately fell asleep soon after.

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m4ndysk4nkovich · 9 months

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i will never not feel so bad for ian because of how his parents treated him.

as far as we know, ian was the only one who was physically abused by frank throughout his childhood. frank hated ian the most because he “looked the most like his mother” (and the most like frank’s brother, clayton, ian’s actual dad clayton, but nobody actually ever says that) and ian thinking that he looks/acts like monica seriously effects him later on. frank treats him like absolute dog shit, and we hear ian say that when he was six frank locked him in the basement for days. one of the biggest things about shameless is the “cycle of abuse” and frank’s treatment of ian is ironic because from what we know, frank was the only one his parents ever abused (physically, at least).

and for monica, ian was his favorite. i don’t give a shit if fiona says that lip is her favorite, from monica’s first episode’s it’s been apparent that it’s ian. for example- not giving a shit about any of her children’s accomplishments until it comes to ian, and her eyes light up, or making lasagna “ian’s favorite” (it’s not). but being monica’s favorite isn’t actually a good thing. monica seriously abused ian, too, and people don’t always awknolege that. their relationship was built on manipulation, monica’s victim complex, and neglect. she did nothing but use and hurt him, and whether or not she really loved him doesn’t really matter because either way it just hurt him. and the saddest thing is no matter how far away he pushes her, he’s still attached and he still loves her. we don’t know what she truly put him through as a child, but we can assume that it was hell. from ian’s whole speech to her in 7x09 we can tell that he definitely needed her, but she was never there. this is also apparent in fiona’s monologue in 7x12.

also, in season 11 when debbie tells frank, “you ruined love for me!” that definitely also applies to what ian was saying in season 10 about having frank and monica as role models for love. they damaged him so fucking badly and even though he did get a happy ending, he got totally screwed over.

i get that people hate ian for saying that frank was worse than terry in hall of shame, and i made a whole post about that (here!), and although if we’re really thinking about it, yeah, terry was technically worse; ian still went through so much traumatic shit that needs to be taken into account.

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faislittlewhiteraven · 4 months

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Undertale Yellow: An amazing fangame with one glaring thing I hate about it (that I need to rant about or else I'm going to go insane).

As the title says, Undertale Yellow was a game I really enjoyed playing. Lots of fun dialogue and designs, utterly fantastic art and animation (holy hell that Flowey fight! <3 <3 <3), great music and feels, etc. Seriously it deserves a ton of praise, not only as a fully completed fangame that took years of development, but as genuinely amazing prequel to one of my favorite games of all time.

...Unfortunately. Much as I truly enjoyed playing through the majority of the game, when I finished the True Pacifist route I was intensely unhappy with how that went and while the credits scenes and funeral for Cover helped ease some of the worst of it, I cannot help but wonder who the flipping f$%& in the development team thought presenting Clover's suicide as the 'just and happy' ending that all the friend characters accept with barely any argument was a good idea?!

Now to clarify: I went into Undertale Yellow knowing that Clover was going to die and that there were good odds their death was going to be self sacrificial or involve suicide. Undertale Yellow is a prequel to Undertale after all and children being murdered and/or sacrificing themselves for the greater good of lovable monster kind is an established part of the setting.

I came in knowing this game was bound to end tragically. I was excited to see how this game would pull that inevitable tragedy off while exploring the Yellow soul's theme of Justice and staying true to Undertale's established canon.

And all the way right up to the end of the True Pacifist ending I truly thought they'd nailed it: The constant pressure of the monsters suffering and being trapped in the Underground despite their sweet and earnest natures, Dalv's clear issues regarding a human, Starlow's unintentional reinforcement of the 'one sacrifice for the greater good' idea with his trolley problem reenactment, the repeated back to back betrayals from characters who should be friends (the Feisty Five, Starlow, Ceraba) hurting Clover instead, the dull realization in universe for Clover that all their efforts to find the missing human children were all for nothing...

It was fantastic. There was a real sense of looming dread for me, seeing all those moments and just knowing in my gut that after the desperate struggle with the agonized and grieving Ceraba, ranting about how monster kind is doomed as it stands, that Clover would start thinking of sacrificing their life for monster kind, especially when their 'sense of Justice' at the start of the game had them willingly jump into a gaping pit they couldn't have possibly have known the height of, for the sake of mission they (according to Flowey) easily abandon when offered a loving home instead. (aka implying not so great things about how much they value their own life)

So. With all that 'hyped for tragedy' in mind, there I am at the True Pacifist ending. I've just spared Ceraba, the friends are all arguing as to how to keep Clover (and possibly any future humans who fall) safe and Clover begins to go into something of a zone out, thinking about all the things they've heard and seen over the course of their adventure.

This is it! I think to myself as I watch it play out. This is where Clover, after everything they've been through, makes the tragic yet understandable mistake of running away from their friends and confronting Asgore just as Flowey kept encouraging them to! Not to fight and bring Asgore to justice but to try talking him down and when they fail that, offering up their life to help and 'save' their friends even as the narrative will (matching Undertale) will make it clear that this is a mistake and only hurts everyone involved, just like every suicide and child murder in Undertale hurts everyone involved until Frisk is able to end the cycle of pain by rejecting the Kill or be Killed premise and setting the monsters free! Wow, I can't believe it, they set it up so well, what a perfect way to tie into Undertale's greater narrative via tragic prequel, I love this eeeeee!

Except of course that's not what happens.

My first hint something is off is when the quotes Clover's 'remembering' in their little bubble start being way too positive for the set up (also there's nothing from the trolley problem section). The second is when the music shifts from quiet to holy and then outright happy.

And third is when Clover snaps out of it and point blank tells their friends they choose to die. Now, I'm getting a little confused and wary at this but alright, this is a pretty long sequence already but I guess we get to have one final hope moment before Clover somehow gets away from their friends to die (maybe Flowey if not Asgore?)-

-and then I am left absolutely flabbergasted as the friends who just spent the last huge chunk of the game trying to protect Clover/getting talked out of killing them because 'its not right' end up agreeing with Clover's decision after a pitiful amount of arguing against it (where the utterly stupid 'there's no other option' reasoning is used as the primary reasoning despite all the other options being very clearly stated just moments ago), before the woman who's entire massive trauma arc that is centered around her accidentally killing her own child out of blind faith for 'the greater good', proceeds to assist Clover with their suicide (who she clearly views as a surrogate child despite her best attempts not to) while the other characters meekly say goodbye, give hugs and leave all while bittersweet but mostly sweet 'great job honey, this sucks but we're proud of you' music plays (also Flowey says stuff but like, its Flowey so frankly he could say anything and it'd be fine. He's not the issue here).

...Wow.

What a screwed up way for that to end. Like, I clearly get the 'idea' that Clover is meant to be noble and good and such but like, really? A fan game of Undertale (where one of the main ending messages was 'Don't kill and don't be killed', where a child's suicidal attempts to free monster kind lead to every major tragedy in the game, and where suicide was repeatedly shown to only make things worse through Asgore and Alphys in numerous neutral endings) is the game that decides having its protagonist's pointless self sacrifice should be honored and treated as a good ending by the narrative?????

How did none of the otherwise clearly brilliant people working on this miss the very bad, no good implications of Clover's friends being talked into letting them kill themselves and having the narrative frame it as anything but the worst end?????

I have many, many questions. And concerns. And...

Look, I do get it. Undertale Yellow is still a fangame. There are going to be weird notes in the tone due to different writers and such, and I should just be happy that the game was finished it at all, and accept that this god awful scene is probably just the result of its creators really, really wanting their beloved characters to go out as kindly (and beautifully drawn/animated) as possible with all the hugs and feels of canon Undertale without taking into account how much the very different context might warp the tone and the characterizations of everyone in the entire scene.

But like. God damn. There is something very off putting about not letting brave kind Martlet refuse to take this as an answer and then finding she actually can't stop it happening (and no her saying that after like two sentences from 'Ceraba who's judgement about the human sucks' doesn't count). About Starlow not recognising he and his posse might've had something to do with why Clover is thinking this. About Ceraba not on some level going 'IF THIS IS YOUR CHOICE THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME USE YOU TO SAVE KANAKO?!' Edit: Also a totally waste of prequel opportunity not to let Asgore visibly make the worst choices we canonly know he made on screen. Yes, he gets to stab Clover in the Flawed!Pacist route but Clover's trying to shoot him in that one; the fact we don't get to see him stab a 'far too willing to die for their friends and not defending themselves' Clover as the friend trio can do nothing to stop it from happening feels like such a cop out I swear XD

I'm all for 'Clover dies willingly' at the end of the True Pacifist but they way they did it was just... Really ugh in a way I'm finding tricky to word and I'm honestly shocked I haven't seen more people point it out (though admittedly that might be because I haven't really looked around much). ...So yeah. I know its too late to change said ending but really kinda hoping at some point one of the Undertale Yellow team realizes this might be an issue and thinks to add a content warning in the game's opening or something because it could really use one of those. Also that for any future projects they do, they happen to do a little more research into how to avoid accidentally glorify suicide as opposed to having it as a tragedy because damn they did not manage that here whatsoever.

---

ANYWAY, with all that rant finally out of my head some other stuff about Undertale Yellow I be feeling strongly:

Flowey's boss battle and the lead up to it is incredible and without a doubt makes the neutral route the most amazing well crafted route in the game. 10/10 may have already mentioned this in the massive rant above but if so gonna repeat it anyway because it's just that damn good.

Genocide route being a deconstruction of the 'disproportionate revenge is justice' 90s Anti Hero is very cool theme wise but the lack of the lack of stuff like notes in shops saying 'please don't kill my family' and monsters with less screen time getting more fleshed out drags it down a little, as does Clover not actually choking on dust or getting attacked by the human souls or something at the very end. Really do love the Martlet battle flashback moments and Axel's horrifically timed confession scene though.

The general uselessness of the ACT menu in big 'endurance' fights as well as the lack of 'alternative sparing ACTS' makes fights a lot less fun than they could be and I found myself a lot less willing to use them in general as a result despite them being my favorite thing about Undertale. Did still adore what fun stuff was in them though so I think it's just a case of them being a tad too out of focus compared to the bullet hell gameplay (which I'm not that good at) for my tastes.

Pacifist route could've really used some more optional hangouts and/or letters from the main friends. As is, the peak 'hang out' part of the game for me was the nap room I spent maybe two minutes in, and Dalv especially could've benefitted a ton from a bit more presence (I got more interaction from Mo and the rabbit who's tongue was stuck to a pole and I'm not happy about that? If nothing else not getting to see the inside of Martlet's house or help Dalv build his new home feel like lost opportunities).

Personal pet peeve and nothing too serious but not a fan of Asgore not getting the kill on Clover outside of Flawed Pacifist. Makes sense on most routes (glares at T!Pacifist again) given the way the plot is set up and all but given Toby Fox has repeatedly stated Asgore killed all the humans who fell post Chara it just drives me nuts XD (As does the poor Blue Soul getting treated as a killer/evil but like, I can see where people are coming on that one and Undertale Yellow uses that to amp up Chujin's nightmare fuel vibes fantastically so I shall reluctantly congratulate that theory's use there and steel myself for the inevitable 'wait you're using Undertale Yellow lore but Axis didn't kill Integrity?' questions that will be posted on my 'will eventually be posted' Undertale fanfics XDDDD)

Love all the main cast, especially Martlet, and I am way too hyped for the day Undertale Yellow and its main cast get their own fandom tags on AO3.

...Kanako's death was incredibly stupid and avoidable but like, that's kind of what I like about it? I really also wanna know which Amalgamite she became (I'm thinking probably the one that tucks Frisk in to sleep and pats them on the head because of her and Ceraba's little 'going to sleep' game but like, I could see a very heart wrenching case for her being part of So Cold as well).

Anyone reading this who somehow hasn't played Undertale Yellow should really stop reading this and go play the game. It's free, its (one major thematic issue I have moral objections to aside) pretty decently written, and hey, more Undertale stuff to have fun making fanworks with <3

Goddamn has Undertale Yellow kicked my drive to write Undertale fanfic into overload XD Thank you Undertale Yellow team for helping me get all fired up again and sorry about all the grr but dang it, it needed to be said and now that it's out of my system I can throw myself into finding ways to incorporate your settings and characters into fanworks of my own (admittedly the AU elements might make things kinda tricky -Asgore having to kill EVERY human child even more so- but that nifty little detail of early Royal Guard Martlet having and being willing to abuse her access to the Hotland Lab allows me so many ways to have Chujin be a well meaning awful person and I am living for it!) <3 <3 <3

#Undertale Yellow #undertale #fangame #undertale spoilers #undertale yellow spoilers #tw discussion of suicide and suicide related themes #game rants #constructive criticism (well hopefully anyway)#Fais rambles #I have been hesitating over the post now button for twenty minutes now and I really should not be this nervous. I'm not even rude dang it #oh wait I forgot swearing is rude in some places #cw swearing #ut yellow #uty #uty spoilers

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upheavalofmemory · 1 year

Text

pick a pile || random things about your future spouse

welcome to my newest pick a pile reading! this reading is some random things about your future spouse/partner, although it can be your next relationship or current relationship if it resonates.

this time, images are inspired by vultures~! images are not mine.

masterlist

decks being used:

The Dark Mansion Tarot by Taroteca Studio

Pile 1

Hi pile 1! As I shuffle the cards, I'm feeling quite stubborn energy, the cards were pretty straightforward, and I feel that your future spouse is as well. I heard fixed? They might have some fixed signs in their chart, although I am not keen on astrology. I feel like they're absolutely in love with you! When I saw the first card I went "aww" since the imagery on the four of wands in this deck is so cute and romantic. I feel like they've went through some troubles in their life and they never had expected to be in a loving relationship. The relationships in their family may have been bad and they simply just expected to fall back into the same cycle, but they're so glad that they broke the chain and found you <3. They might have a lot of struggles, they might struggle with depression or something sleep-related like sleep paralysis but they're working through it and they wouldn't let you be affected by it (I'm getting that they don't let people see their struggles? Make sure to check in on them sometimes pile one, they don't open up easily but they'll appreciate your presence). I get a big underlying presence of sadness.

You are their world. You guys may eventually move out from where you are and it'll bring you a lot of abundance, you both will be very happy in the end I'm seeing. They might also be from another country or very well-traveled and they can't wait to share that experience with you.

They might be wearing red when you first meet them or their favorite color is red. Appearance-wise, they might dress very classically and they look well put together. They might thrift for their outfits? Cool, we love someone sustainable! Although I'm feeling it's more that they struggle to find clothes that match them in normal stores. They might be a little bit more eccentric but classy. They might have hair that's light brown or a dirty blonde to reddish, and I'm picking up on freckles and/or moles as well. Also, blue eyes might resonate.

4 might be an important number by the way.

Pile 2

What's up pile 2! I'm feeling super pumped for this reading! Your future spouse seems to be quite radical, quite the positive thinker and your definite cheerleader! If you don't like positive people, you might change your mind with this person because they'll truly make your heart flutter <3. While I was shuffling, I couldn't help but sing! But I feel like this super cute and lovely aura hides something...darker? Not in a bad way, but they might be more serious than you expect them to be!

I'm getting like, positively aggressive? They want to kill the world with kindness and nothing is going to stop them. They're very family oriented and love their family and friends, I'm seeing a very good relationship here with both. They'll do anything for the people they care about, even running someone over with a car!!! To be clear, the imagery I got in my head was some sort of zombie apocalypse where they're driving their friends through a crowd of zombies or something...they might be a SciFi fan lol.

Don't expect them to cut off their family or friends for you though, they love them greatly. They may still be in good ties with their exes or something like that, they're a hard person to hate! But don't expect them to be a pushover. If someone treats them or their friends badly, they will CUT! THEM! OUT! You might hate them at first and then realize that they're actually not that bad. They're a very just person and value fairness to a T.

If you know anything about MBTI, it's giving ENTJ and ENFJ.

Despite always servicing and helping others, they really do love you. Sometimes they need to be dragged back to you or back to home but they're really not trying to hurt you, just let them know what you need!! They might really wear themselves out but for you, you are their rock and place of healing. They love being around you when the world is too much for them to bear because they feel like you'll always be there for them. Remember your boundaries though pile 2, communication is super important. They're hopeless romantics though, they really love you they just don't always have the time to give you everything but they want to give you the world and they hope that if they aren't enough to be your partner then they hope to be enough as friends... aww :,(. They may have had this pattern before but it's just their nature to help people. You might help them with setting better boundaries and not letting themselves get to their breaking point.

Appearance-wise, they may have dark hair (brown to black) with possibly tanned skin. They might be taller, they may have a v in their name, they like apples :)?

Pile 3

hii pile 3 uwu <3

Not sure why I felt like I needed to say it that way, they might talk to you that way as a joke? Both of you sending cute emojis and stuff back in forth and saying "nya" and "uwu" shit as jokes, ya'll are funny lol... it's giving the energy of that one couple who is constantly on each other in middle school, everyone hates them because they're head over heels for each other. The couple post that people post comments of "aww how cute *jumps off a bridge" and shit like that. Sorry, not sure why I keep swearing in this one, seems like two different energies here. That might be how they actually are, they might swear a lot.

Ooooo they're sneakyyyy. I thought I felt ENTP (mbti) vibes at the beginning, you might be stuck with an ENTP or someone just hella sarcastic and funny. Anyways with the sneaky part, they're not sneaky in a bad way, they just always keep you on your toes. They might scare you/play a prank on you randomly one day and then come home with a kitten the next, I have a feeling you guys really like cats for some reason. They're gonna steal your heart (and you're gonna like it >:((), they really like you and you really like them. A stupid (affectionately) match made in heaven. They're an inventor, a thinker, always coming up with new and innovative ideas. You really aspire to be like them, they might be the top of your class or something and you have no idea that they like you. But the are EYEING U UP, READY TO STRIKE !!! Your night in shining armor, your best friend <333 if anyone tries to hurt you they'll beat them up immediately (or go cower in a corner and tell you to fight them yourself... smdh they think they're funny). Also they might be an Aries? Or a Capricorn, I see a ram/goat like creature here, maybe you guys go and do goat yoga or something.

Appearance, they may have long dark hair, facial hair maybe, they like wearing dark colors. I feel like you call them emo as a joke, something like that but they're not and they're just dark or something. Might have a mischievous look to them, they might also be very generous. i also got that they might be a politician uh... they might do underhanded things??? watch out if this is for you LOL don't get involved in dirty shit 🤨. People might think they're a drug dealer???? Is this person playing with me 🤨?? real funny guy.

Pile 4

Greetings, my lovely final pile! This person is giving me very regal vibes, they might be very careful with their words but they always have a lot to say!

They might live by the water, they love ponds. They might be an environmentalist or activist or zoologist. They find comfort in the stillness of the water and the balance of life (woah?), very deep person. You also won't find them in shallow water, both literally and figuratively. They do their shadow work, always improving themselves and their well being. Their body reflects upon the rest of the world so they take great responsibility in being careful with how they express themselves.

This is a vey diferent energy than the last pile for sure. They pull their weight (accidentally typed eight if that resonates), they're an important member of society and they take that very seriously. They might work in construction or some public services area, they are important to their community and they put in a lot of work to make a difference. They may not have a high-paying job but their character reflects more on the people around them, they might be people's favorite person, someone that people absolutely adore. They might be an immigrant, they worked extremely hard to get to where they are and they don't take anything for granted. They have everything they want in life because they put in the work for it. The people in this pile might be older or your fs might be older, they feel very calm and mature <3. You might meet them when you are older also, maybe you were married before and this is a remarriage, take what resonates.

They definitely see the fruits of their labor or will see it soon. If you're looking for someone safe and stable, they are yours. Appearance-wise, lots of grey hair or black hair in these cards. They may have really long hair. Facial hair is also on the cards. and they might have really pale skin, almost ghostly. They may not tan? 🤷🏽

No doubt though, they do love you. They might be initially hesitant to let you in and share their abundance but they'll be glad to let you in once they know that they can trust you. They want to spoil you, they've been waiting their whole lives for someone who they can trust <3.

Finished~

Thank you for reading! Once again if it doesn't resonate, let it go <3 This was a lot longer than my previous reading, and if you'd like to leave a tip or if you'd like to purchase a personal reading (pay what you want), feel free to contact me! Thank you so much once again <3

#pick a card #tarot reading #oracle reading #pac #pac tarot #pick a picture #pac reading #tarot pac #pick a pile reading #love tarot free #love reading #fs reading #future spouse tarot #future spouse pac #future spouse pick a card #upheavalofmemory #uomTAROT

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strawberry-cowmilk · 1 year

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Thank you so much!

Here's one of the requests Lucifer, diavolo, barbatos and Simeon, (maybe Satan and beel is if isn't to much) find out lover mc is suicidal, really badly, (separately if it isn't to much trouble! )

Hello, anon! I hope that this was the type of format you had in mind. Enjoy!

suicidal mc

-> lucifer, diavolo, barbatos, simeon, satan and beelzebub x mc

important: Remember your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard. If you or a loved one is dealing with suicidal thoughts, reach out to that hotline/person/etc. Suicide is never the solution.

mc's gender is not mentioned, not proof read

content warnings: suicide, crying, not eating, mild strong language, mc attempts suicide (overdose) in barbatos' part!!, spacing out, lesson 5/6 spoilers

-----

Lucifer

he noticed the signs pretty early on in your relationship

lucifer didn't want to jump to any conclusions though, so he just kind of kept an eye on you to see whether his suspicions were correct or not

there were days when you skipped rad, and lately they became more frequent

it was literally a whole chore for you to even get out of bed, you stayed in it the whole day, not even eating, were you too tired to feel any hunger?

lucifer didn't waste a second when you didn't show up at school for the third day in a row, he made his way over to your room

'mc, I've noticed some worrisome behavior, do you mind telling me what's wrong?'

when you broke down crying and told him everything, lucifer mentally facepalmed for not listening to his gut before

he will find you a great therapist if you want one, lucifer hopes you'll gradually feel better, he's afraid there isn't much he can do on his own and it hurts his pride

Diavolo

he definitely thought it was a bit odd for a human to participate in kind of dangerous activities, like leaning really far back in a chair that wasn't made for those things

but diavolo didn't think those actions had concerning roots in suicidal thoughts

also when you'd seem frustrated out of the blue, he just assumed you had a bad day or something

eventually all these little worrying traits of yours piled up into a mountain of warning signs, that was when diavolo decided to talk about it

part of him didn't want to start this conversation, what if there's nothing wrong? or worse, what if something is wrong? what does he do? can he help?

the worst case scenario was true: you were actually suicidal

the prince wants to help, but what can he do other than show you gestures of affection, is that enough to help? do you need a professional?

Barbatos

even though barbatos is a really observant demon, he does tend to get consumed by his work, neglecting everything else

you were a little mentally unwell before, but lately it's gotten so much worse

it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel, every day you felt a little better, somehow you felt extra shitty the next day, the cycle never ended

you can't see hope, that's how you ended up in the demon lord's bathroom with some pills

luckily barbatos walked in on you because he had to clean in there, who knows how it would have ended otherwise

the usually collected demon has a hard time keeping his cool, he hates himself for not paying attention to you

could he have prevented this? what led up to this?

the butler doesn't know what to do

Simeon

he thought you were just in a dip, suicide didn't seem like a possibility to him

simeon tried many little things to cheer you up, like bringing you your favorite flowers or cooking your favorite food

but nothing seemed to make you happy again, how bad is this dip?

it hit him what was going on the night he tried to take you to your favorite restaurant

you refused to leave your room, begging simeon to leave you alone and even insulting him when you got too upset

'mc, you haven't been outside in a week, and you haven't been eating well-'

he knows other angels who went through this, oh no are you depressed? he straight up asked you, but you blurted out you wanted to die

if you're not too mad at him, he'll come and hold you, offering to listen to all your frustrations, that's sadly all he can do

Satan

he's read a ton of books, suicide being a topic in some of them, so satan notices the signs really fast

you seemed to be spaced out a lot, and lately you experienced zero pleasure in things you used to love

you physically felt sick, your chest was heavy, there seemed to be no point in carrying on if it had to be like this

satan took you somewhere safe and let you know he's there for you if you want to talk, he also probably knows a therapist or two

when you confirm his suspicions, he genuinely doesn't know how to approach the situation despite all the mental health books he's read

if you want to talk to a trained professional, he can get you one in less than an hour

Beelzebub

after the celestial war, beel probably had his suicidal moments from the guilt

he recognised his 'symptoms' in you immediately, and man he knows how awful those feel

but, how would you want to be treated in the moment? do you want him to ask you about it or would that upset you?

so beel tries to do little things that would make your day a little better

'mc, which flavor of chips do you want? I got sour cream and cheese'

eventually he will directly talk to you about it

if you're really hopeless, beel will tell you it always gets better, relapsing is part of recovery and he himself is living proof that things will get better

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me scenarios #obey me swd #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #beelzebub obey me #obey me satan #gn!mc #obey me angst #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me simeon #tw overdose #tw suicide

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banes-favourite · 3 months

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Something I’ve wondered is, because of all the abuse and potential SA in HoH, and then Gortash seeming to use sex with his political work. How on board was Gortash at first with his relationship with Durge as far as sex went to start? Do you think it was a super passionate thing since they clicked, or more reluctant / potentially triggering for Gortash to start?

I can safely say I have given this a lot of thought tbh., I don't think Gortash would outright hate sex, but I also don't think he'd find much reason to indulge in it; He never did it just for the sake of it, too much in control of his urges to let that happen. He'd been taught that it was a form of currency, to be exchanged for information, power, material goods. That thought also helped him deal with his potential SA better, as he simply viewed it as a way for others to have had gained power over him. In turn, he used sex as a tool to gain power over others, like a never-ending cycle of toxic thinking.

But then Durge came along and broke that cycle in half. Their first time must have been rushed and messy, and once again Gortash had viewed it as merely a way to exert power and control - Except that line of thinking didn't work. Durge was his equal. The idea of gaining the upper hand over him was contradictory to their relationship, especially as they grew closer. Suddenly, they had something more, more than trust, more than a simple alliance. They had care and love and the idea alone terrified him to no end,, but how could he stop? The sweet touches, the light flirting, the easy conversation. It all came as naturally as breathing and partaking in their little secret was as exhilarating as it was joyful.

But then, inevitably, their second time came. It was much different from the first; Durge was no longer a pawn on the board. He was an equal, a partner, and Gortash simply was not prepared to have to face that in bed. Where he had been sure of himself, suddenly he was scared. If he had no end goal for this transaction, what was the point? He was just giving into temptations of the flesh to, what, hand over control of his own body to Durge? Just like that? No, it didn't sit right with him.

He panicked, I think; His breathing picked up, his heartbeat elevated, all in the middle of what should have been a happy joining of their bodies. Just watching Durge interpret that as pleasure made him sick to his stomach and he couldn't help but feel helpless, as helpless as he'd felt when his first time had been forcefully taken from him. And yet, he didn't want to lose Durge. He didn't want to lose the one good thing in his life - So he prevailed. He closed his eyes and he took it, allowing himself to be used, releasing control even as he was mentally in a far away place through most of it. Afterward, anger would most likely cloud his judgment, for allowing himself to be used. He didn't show weakness, he was strong because he powered through it, but it was something close to it. He simply told Durge they were never going to do this again, and while disappointed, the other would simply have to agree.

Promises and actions were very different things though. They more than likely ended up entangled again, making out desperately, yearning overtaking the disgust in his chest. If he was going to go through with this just for the feeling of it, he'd need some reassurance. So, he told Durge that he was only to top from then on and I'm sure his partner would hesitantly oblige.

It would take A Loooot of work to get him comfortable with casual, normal sex. He covers his fear behind kinks and domination but all he really wants is to be taken in a gentle way, with proper care of his needs. Very unlikely to come from a Bhaalspawn so unfortunately I think their canon relationship would forever be tainted 💔 Unless ofc Durge can force him to submit by way of kink and forceful domming, through which I believe Gortash would actually be rather receptive to and able to work with his trauma, not against it.

#anon #asks #tw sa #durgetash #bg3 #gortash #enver gortash #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate #bg3 gortash #durge #durge bg3

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biblioklept-writes · 1 year

Text

Stargirl (Modern!Aemond)

A/N: There is no mention of the reader's appearance but there’s heavy engineering - it is the only thing that I know besides fandoms. Also, this is purely self indulgent. (fem!reader)

Summary: The King's Landing University students celebrate the end of the term, and you find yourself with a beautiful, not-much-of-a-stranger.

Word Count: 1.7 k

HOTD Masterlist | Series Masterlist

You were not happy.

Of course, you were in one of the most sought after universities in the world, and you had worked through your blood, sweat and tears to make it here, studying Computer Science in King’s Landing University. You were happy then.

And now you worked yourself to tears and blood (literally, the stress messed with the period cycle) to end this semester. You weren’t sure how good the exams went, but at least they were over. You could scroll through instagram and tumblr stress free now, finding a new hyperfixation.

You knew you hated the loud party scene, but you were an introvert-leaning-ambivert who loved to socialise with new people, but you loved a night-in alone with your phone and laptop just the same, if not more.

Your lovely friend had been invited to a uni party hosted by the frat boys, to celebrate the end of the term exams for all the majors. Your room was not exactly the space you wanted to spend your time in, after being holed up in there for almost a month - finishing papers, assignments and practical files then studying for your theory exams. Data Structures have been particularly hard on you.

So you put on your best satin black dress, put on a bold black eyeliner, red lipstick and highlighted your face and lids with shimmery eyeshadow that popped your beautiful eyes. You finally wore those heels you had thrifted, feeling confident now that you had dressed up.

“You look like the hottest bitch in town!” Your friend complimented, blowing you a kiss. You blew a kiss right at her, feeling yourself.

“I really do, don’t I?” You smirked, raising your brows.

Now you were out of campus, having fetched a ride with one of the guys from your class. Being one of the few girls in the engineering building really helped with that. Aegon Targaryen was the host of the party, even though he was a Business major in his seventh semester, you knew him. Everyone knew him - he had a bit of a reputation of being passed around in the university campus.

The Targaryens were practically Westerosi Royalty, the wealthiest of them all, and known for their controversial family workings. They were known for having peculiar purple eyes. You had heard a lot about them, the most talked about thing being how Viserys Targaryen had married his daughter’s best friend, then proceeded to have four kids with her. You’d heard that his daughter, Rhaenyra, married one of her father’s cousins, after her husband had died.

You knew only two of the Targaryens personally, Haelena Targaryen, her mother’s only daughter, with the orchid eyes - who was a biomedical engineering major and you had one class in common with her, back in your first semester - communication skills. Apparently, the university thought that none of the engineers knew how to talk and had introduced the subject even though Haelena was in her third semester.

She was a little strange, but sweet. You loved her though, and even hung out together after you had passed the first semester. She had been your presentation partner for the class and you absolutely adored her. Even now when you were in third semester and she was in her fifth.

The other Targaryen you knew was Jacaerys Targaryen, who happened to be Haelena’s nephew from her half sister. He was your junior in engineering, majoring in Mechanical and Automation. You met him while working on a project of robotics under a professor, where he worked on the mechanical team and you worked on the AI bit with your team.

And of course, there was Aemond Targaryen, Haelena’s favourite brother, everything you knew about him was because of her. You had never had the chance to see him though, he was a history major, in his third semester. Haelena had mentioned that he had lost sight in one eye after an accident with their nephews - something involving a broken bike and them struggling to fix it and then getting hit in the eye by a ricocheting piece of rusted iron. She had said that instead of a marble eye, he had insisted on getting a sapphire. Rich people and their problems.

The party mode had begun in the car itself, you got to choose the music and played some of your favourite upbeat songs screaming with the music.

Haelena had not backed down on her promise of being there, and you were so happy to see her that you could hug her. But you settled for shaking her hand, knowing that she was sensitive to touch. She looked lovely dressed in a golden halterneck, looking every bit like the princess she was.

You, your roommate, and Haelena took multiple pictures together before even entering the Targaryen’s spare house. They seemed to have multiple of those across the city, even the country.

Your engineering buddies feigned hurt as you abandoned them to be with your girlfriends, winking at them before leaving. You danced around with your friends, and occasionally Haelena stood from her place and joined you too. Then you went back to check on the guys who you’d come over with, hoping that they were not being bullied by the other kids for being engineering majors.

When you returned, you didn’t find your girlfriends where you’d left them. Taking your phone out to text the group chat, you went away from the room, dancing to yourself at the Weeknd’s song. Haelena quickly responded that they were upstairs, and you swayed while climbing the stairs, head lowered to look at your phone. You saw a funny meme, and sent it to the group chat again. Roomie <3: Bitch stop memeing and get your pretty ass up. You: OMW

“Ow,” you said as you bumped into someone at the first floor landing, and would have nearly fallen on your ass if not for the strong grip on your forearm. You looked up to meet two mismatched eyes, one lilac and the other a sapphire stone. “You’re Aemond Targaryen,” you exhaled, seemingly forgetting how to breathe.

To say that he was handsome would be an understatement. He was the most beautiful man you had ever laid your eyes on, a fallen angel if you would ever see one. His face was sharply cut with defined cheekbones, jaw looking like it could cut through you. You were stunned by his magnificence, the way his silky silver hair fell to his shoulders, his pale skin and silver chain with the dragon emblem(or platinum, you couldn’t be sure) in stark contrast to the black turtleneck he was wearing. Oh, and he’s so tall.

You snapped out of your trance at the sound of your name in his voice, which was smooth like honey, sweetened to perfection. You felt like you were turning to a puddle right there.

“How do you know my name?” You asked.

“Haelena always talks about you,” Aemond said, raising his brow. “You’re one of her closest friends, I assume.”

“Yes, of course,” You said. He still hadn’t let you go, and you didn’t complain. He was warmer to touch than he looked. “Haelena talks a lot about you too. She’s told me that you are a history major.” This is why they teached communication, ass.

“That is correct.” He said, still scanning you. “And you are a computer science major.”

“Yup,” You said, even though his words were a statement. The two of you fell silent for a long moment, as Stargirl Interlude started playing in the background, and Lana Del Rey’s heavenly voice filled your ears.

I had a vision, A vision of my nails in the kitchen, Scratching counter tops, I was screaming My back arched like a cat, My position couldn't stop, You were hitting it

All you could think was Aemond Targaryen was far prettier in the flesh and the pictures didn’t do him much justice. Your phone buzzed with texts, but you ignored it, unable to look away from this fine specimen of man.

“There’s a lot of rooms here, Aemond.” Aegon’s drunk, boisterous voice called behind you, snapping the two of you out of the trance. “Stop eye-fucking.”

The older Targaryen scanned you up and down with his bloodshot glassy eyes, not bothering to hide the smirk on his face. Aemond’s face hardened and he gently shoved you behind himself, and you glanced from over his shoulder as the staredown between the two brothers went. “Don’t even think about it,” Aemond said, his voice low and dangerously void. “You have enough women waiting for you as it is,”

A shiver travelled down your spine at the disgusting thought, but you suppressed it. Aegon’s drunk voice called your name, and you raised an eyebrow at him, still standing behind Aemond.

“You’re pretty famous among the guys, you know.” He said, laughing. “I can see why. Though, I don’t understand why you hang around my sweet sister? You could use some better company. Good company,”

“I was in good company until you came along.” You said, innocently blinking even as your smile was anything but innocent.

Aemond coughed, his free hand raised to his pretty, kissable mouth. You suspected it was to cover a laugh. “Well?” you questioned, giving him your best glare. Aegon rolled his eyes at you and went back downstairs, leaving you alone with your pleasant company. It’s just because he’s pretty.

“We should be friends,” Aemond said, now smiling at you. You forgot how to breathe for a moment. His smile made him hotter, cuter and prettier all at the same time. And he had dimples.

“Well-” you went to ask something, but your ringing phone stopped you.

It was Haelena. You answered her, turning away from Aemond so you could answer in privacy. “Yeah, I’m on my way. I’ll be right there. Bye.”

“Here’s my number,” He said, handing you a white napkin. His handwriting was clean, just as you’d expect of a history major. He twirled an elegant gold pen between his long, thin fingers. A titanium ring band gleamed on his middle finger.

Without thinking, you reached for his pen, and tore the napkin from the blank side and wrote down your phone number, and kissed the napkin, leaving a bold red lipstick stain on the white paper. You reached forward and folded the napkin neatly with the pen and put it in his black trouser pocket, giving him your best sultry eyes. His lilac eye mirrored your expression, pupil dilated.

“Call me whenever you’re free,” you whispered. Before disappearing up the stairs.

Later, you will blame the one drink you had had earlier for this confidence, but you’d forever thank the gods for making this happen.

#aemond targaryen x fem!reader #aemond targaryen x reader #modern!aemond x reader #hightower kids x reader #aemond targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #aemond x reader #sri writes

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getosugurusbangs · 1 month

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you got any isaness hcs? 🎤🎤

HI OKAY this is gonna be less actual headcanons and more just… all of the thoughts i’ve had about them over the past few days

one of the first and main things that i’ve thought about them, is how they’re soo blood guts and cannibalism but are also just the cutest and sweetest couple you’ve ever seen. they just have the softest most tender love, but also the horrors persist.

also i’m ngl… the album the first action by the cabs is isaness to me. in my irrefutable and unquestionable opinion: gloom division by idkhow is kainess, and the first action by the cabs is isaness. it just makes sense to me.

but more on the note of headcanons lol:

i just KNOW that the way ness says isagi’s name is crazy. the sheer amount of emotion he could fit into just saying “yoichi”? unmatched.

i think ness has a fixation on isagi’s hands. hand size comparison? holding hands? kissing his hands? you name it, he does it.

i also think that isagi has a bit of a fixation on ness’ hair. loves to run his fingers through it, do little braids in it, plant his face into it while they’re cuddling, etc. (i can’t blame him, i bet it’s lovely)

i think that they were forced to hang out together for “team bonding”, and really didn’t enjoy it much at first. but the longer it went on and as they actually started to get closer, the harder they found it to hate each other so much.

i still don’t think that their relationship is the most stable (as much as i’d like to imagine them being happy and healthy), but it’s not like there’s the most unadulterated hatred for each other on both sides, yknow?

i really like the themes of escape and overall change in a potential relationship (romantic or platonic) with them. to me there’s definitely potential with them for a story of leaving unfulfilling relationships, abandoning people’s expectations and trying to embrace freedom and your own identity, despite how difficult and scary it may be. BUT. ALSO. i really like the idea of them forming a stronger bond with each other but that not being enough for them. where the cycle of violence continues despite their efforts.

anyways though. i actually sort of started shipping isaness as a joke. kinda.

it really did just start from me loving isagi and ness but not caring that much for kaiser so just… shipping them with each other instead LMAO

it went from “girl get away from kaiser 😭 go ride off into the sunset with each other and get outta here” to considering them intently to then just genuinely fucking with them as a pairing.. it’s how they get you…

but uhhh yeah i think that’s it for now? if you have any questions, comments, concerns, headcanons yourself that you’d like to share feel free to do so 👍

#bllk #blue lock #isaness #nessagi #isagi yoichi #yoichi isagi #alexis ness #ness alexis #answered #me.txt

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storiesbyrhi · 2 years

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Angel of the First Degree - Chapter 5: Buzzkill

Eddie Munson x Chubby & Inexperienced!Reader 5879 words A sneak peek at what to expect from this fic here

Previous Chapters: 1 - Valium; 2 - Carrie; 3: Honey; 4: Starcourt

Warnings: Anxiety; fatphobia including internalised; drug use; bullying; body issues; discussion of body function and fluids; period shame/stigma; disclosure of sexual assault (chapter 2); disordered eating and thoughts of food; shitty/abusive/critical parents; porn magazines; mild smut; no beta; warnings updated each chapter

Synopsis: When Eddie Munson finds you in the midst of a panic attack, it is the beginning of something. A fic featuring body and sex positivity, Eddie in a dress, soft small moments, scary big truths, and all the usual special feelings you’d expect from one of my stories.

Chapter Summary: Time to face the fallout of the night before, and to step boldly (and topless) into the next phase of your relationship with Eddie.

There wasn’t anything graceful about the way you had fallen asleep in Eddie’s arms. The exhaustion had knocked you out, turning you into dead weight. Eddie had carefully slipped you onto the mattress and tucked you in.

He wasn’t anywhere near close to tired. The anger was simmering inside him, no healthy avenue for escape. While you slept, he got stoned out of his mind. After he ate an entire tub of ice cream and two packets of chips, he threw up just off the porch while he tried to smoke a cigarette.

In the small bathroom, he looked at his reflection. How lines and shapes wouldn’t settle. How he looked like he’d been dragged through hell. He fucking hated your parents. You’d been so happy on the weekend. And, on Monday he heard you telling the freshmen about Build-a-Bear, about how when Suzie came to visit Dustin, or Mike to El, they should have a date there. “I don’t know if it’s something Max would be into,” you’d told Lucas apologetically.

You’d been sunshine smiles and free flowing kisses and happy.

Fuck your parents for taking that. So, yeah, he hated them.

Eddie usually avoided the feeling of hate. It would be too easy to become bitter and sad if he let hate in. His mum. Dad. Half the fucking town. No, Eddie Munson didn’t hate. But he seethed with the feeling whenever he thought about your parents.

Eddie brushed his teeth, the minty toothpaste making him feel sick again, so he resigned to an early night, laying down next to you and watching your chest rise and fall. The only thing quelling the hate, keeping it mute, was the love he had for you.

Eddie focused on that until his eyelids grew heavy and sleep finally took him.

The next morning, Eddie waited for you to talk about what had happened or acknowledge the fact that you’d slept over, but you didn’t. You simply got up, dressed and made toast for the both of you.

“Come on, we’ll be late,” you urged when Eddie was taking his sweet time looking for his second Reebok, half-assing it at best.

The drive to school was quiet, silence eaten up by The Cure. You could tell Eddie was on edge, one of his ringed fingers tapping on the steering wheel nervously. There was nothing to say, you thought. He knew what had happened and let you crash the night. After school, you’d go back home to your parents and the cycle would inevitably repeat again. That’s just how it was.

“I love you,” Eddie said when you took a step away from him at your locker after a kiss that felt like it was saying something Eddie wouldn’t dare to.

“I love you too,” you replied with a small nod.

“You sure you’re… okay?”

“I’m fine. Really. It’s… whatever. I’m fine.” It was easy to see your best attempt at convincing had fallen flat.

Eddie watched the clock all day.

Eddie had never, not once in his life, wanted a day at Hawkins High to go slowly, but every minute that went by brought him closer to the moment he’d have to let you go home. His stomach flipped when the final bell rang.

“It will be better this way,” you said as you headed to the bus. “If they don’t see me get off it, they know you dropped me home. Even if they don’t see you,”

“Yeah, I get it. But I don’t have to like it,” he said, truly pouting. You kissed again, ignoring the wolf whistles and fake sick sounds from the line of students getting on the bus.

“One more day. Then it’s the weekend.”

As you parted from him and climbed the bus steps, Eddie moved to lean against the bike racks lined up near the sidewalk. He watched you take a seat close to the driver. He’d always been a back seat kind of guy, but you knew there was safety near the adult in charge. Also, the least amount of teenagers you had to walk by on shaky ground, the better.

The bus departed and disappeared from view. Eddie sat on the curb in the orange afternoon glow, lit a cigarette, and thought of you.

…

The cool metal of your locker door felt good against Eddie’s cheek. He pressed into it, eyes closed, leaning against the wall for support. He was hungover, felt both tired and overslept. Someone threw something at him, “Freak,” a ball of paper at a guess, but Eddie’s eyes stayed closed.

After he’d put you on the bus home, he’d made his way back to his trailer and got blackout drunk. It was an effort to arrive at school Friday with enough time to see you in the morning. But there he was.

The bell rang for homeroom and you’d not shown up. The hallways cleared of students, but Eddie remained. He sunk to the floor and waited until fifteen minutes of the first period had gone by before making his way to class. He decided that if he hadn’t seen you by lunch, he’d leave to go look for you.

As Eddie launched himself from his chair, he stacked it, landing hard on the ground of his Biology class. He was too laser focused on leaving to care that everyone laughed, Jason calling out some bullshit as Eddie was off in the direction of the cafeteria.

“Thank FUCK!” Eddie’s loud voice drew the attention of the entire room. Eddie cleared his throat, made a weird saluting gesture to everyone, then quickly jogged to the Hellfire table.

“Angel,”

“Hey,” you greeted.

Eddie was grabbing you by the arms, fingers digging in, pulling you up into a tight hug. It was too tight, you felt trapped and hot, but you also felt loved. Needed. Wanted. Missed. Worshipped.

“Where’ve you been?” Eddie asked, face pressed into your hair.

“What? Here?”

“You weren’t at your locker,”

“Yeah. I had to go hand in my Classics thing,” you said.

Fuck. He’d forgotten. You had an essay on character development or lack thereof in The Odyssey. Eddie had listened to you explain that Telemachus, son of Odysseus, was the only person in the story to really change and grow because of what he went through.

“Right, fuck. Yeah. Sorry,”

“S’okay. Are you okay?”

There were shadows under his eyes and knots in his curls that weren’t normally there. You reached out for his hair, brushing it through with your fingers. Eddie dragged his chair closer to you and let you fix him.

“Yeah, just…” His usual wit and fox-clever timing were clouded by the night before.

“Hungover?” you guessed.

Eddie looked guilty, but you weren’t angry. Firstly, you were worried. Secondly, you were confused. But it wasn’t the time or the place. You continued to detangle his hair, running your nails across his scalp to elicit shivers from him. Eddie hummed happily.

“We’ll talk later, okay?” you said quietly. Eddie nodded and leaned into your touch even more.

Eddie had told you before, on multiple occasions, that the Hellfire boys looked out for each other. Sometimes it was big and obvious, like standing up to a bully or covering for them to a teacher. Sometimes, like it was that day, it was small kindness.

It was all the guys seeing something was off, pretending that they weren’t that hungry and had other places to be. It was a pile of food left for Eddie because he was clearly too much of a mess to bring anything to eat. It was you and him being left alone at the table to care for each other in silence and love. You had to hand it to Eddie, he sure did know how to curate a group of special lost sheep.

After school, you climbed into the passenger seat of Eddie’s van and waited for him. When you spotted him walking across the parking lot, Jeff at his side, you smiled to yourself. They came to your window, which you had wound down.

“Hey angel,” Eddie greeted, leaning in to kiss you. “Gonna give Jeff a lift over to Family Video, then we can go home, ‘kay?”

You nodded and moved to climb into the back.

“Ah, no, angels in the front. Jeffs in the back. Those are the rules,” Eddie said, sliding the back door open and pushing Jeff in.

“Sorry,” you said, turning in your seat and looking over at your friend.

Jeff shrugged, then held his hand out flat at his head level. “You,” he said, then lowered his hand a bit. “The band.” Lower. “Hellfire.” Lower. “Everything else,”

“You forgot Wayne,” you told him. “He’d be top of the pyramid.”

Jeff made a ‘mmmmm’ sound that meant ‘I don’t know about that.’

Eddie had rounded the van and jumped into the driver’s seat. It wasn’t far to Family Video, but it took longer because you had to listen to the two guitarists say phrases like “did you see how he pulled the G string with his teeth?” “yeah, but he’s fingering is too fast, I lose it every time,” “I need you to get dirtier though,” and “the dude said I need to have a better relationship with my wang bar,” without laughing.

As Eddie pulled up, you were chewing a fingernail trying to keep it in. He looked across at you. “What’s… this?” he asked and vaguely motioned to all of you.

“Wang bar,” you whispered.

Eddie’s face broke out into an ear-to-ear grin. “Mind out of the gutter! Just another name for the whammy bar.”

You giggled stupidly as Jeff got out of the van and waved goodbye. As soon as he was out of earshot, Eddie informed you that he was meeting a girl to pick out movies.

“Jeff has a date?!”

“Sounds like it. Said she’s moved in across the road from him,”

“I should tell him about Build-a-Bear,” you said, trying to see if you could spot Jeff and the mystery girl inside Family Video as Eddie pulled out onto the road.

Eddie bit back a smile. “So, are we doing a covert drop off, or can I steal you until curfew?”

“Actually… I have a surprise. My parents had to go to Indianapolis today, because Dad’s brother got put in hospital with kidney stones last night. And there’s nobody to go feed his dog and let him out the apartment. Well, there’s his ex-wife but she hates him because he’s, like, well he’s just like Dad, so. But yeah, she wouldn’t do it. So, they went today, but now my uncle isn’t getting out until Monday, so they have to go take him stuff and stay over. They won’t be home until tomorrow.”

It was probably too much information, but you were excited.

“I didn’t know you had an uncle,” Eddie said.

Not the reaction you expected. “I never see him because he lives in the city and he’s an asshole. Not even Dad likes him,”

“Kidney stones, huh? Heard that’s meant to be real painful.”

Still not the reaction you were looking for. “He has to try to pee them out,”

“Fuuuck… And, uhhh, what kind of dog is it?”

“Eddie!” you yelled, immediately getting laughter from him. “Stop it!”

“Stop what?” he asked innocently. You huffed, frowned, and crossed your arms across your chest. “Okay, okay. Sorry. So what you’re telling me is that there is no curfew? That I can keep you all to myself all night?”

“Ah-huh,”

“Well, fuck, angel. Why didn’t you just say so?!”

When you made a frustrated, high-pitched sound, Eddie laughed even harder.

In his trailer, Eddie found a note from Wayne saying he went to get dinner with a mate before his shift at the plant. ‘Frozen pizzas are defrosting in the sink. Salad pack’s in the fridge. Need to get ya shit together Ed. Eat some vegetables. – W’

You re-read it a few times. “What’s he mean?” you called out to Eddie, who had disappeared into his bedroom. “Is this about last night? He doesn’t normally give you shit so easy, does he?” You walked the hall and stood in Eddie’s doorway, leaning against the frame.

Eddie was changing into sweatpants and a clean t-shirt. “Um, no. He’s just… worried.”

You nodded and sat on the bed, taking your shoes off and moving to sit on the pillows against the wall. “You’re hungover,” you stated.

Eddie pretended to look for something, moving from drawer to drawer. “Not anymore,”

“You don’t drink on school nights,”

“Uh, yeah, no. Not normally,” he agreed, sitting on the carpeted floor and pulling things from under his bed, only to push them back into the dark.

“Was it because of me?” you asked, voice quiet.

Eddie stopped, looked up at you. “No, baby. S’not your fault,” he said firmly, getting up and joining you on the bed. He sat next to you, took your hand as you rested your head on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about Wayne. I’m normally good at… pacing myself. Two nights in a row is a Munson red flag,”

“Two nights? But I was here Wednesday,”

“Yeah. You were asleep and I was… Pissed off. Not at you! At your parents. The world. Whatever. I got a bit too high. Chucked outside. Would have got away with it, but that fuckin’ park dog was eating it when Wayne got home.”

You whined, screwed up your face. “That’s… really fucking gross.”

Eddie grinned. “Yeah… yeah, it is,”

“And last night?”

Eddie was too introspective and it fucked him up a little bit sometimes. Most of the time, it was a good thing. Emotional intelligence is a surprisingly useful quality in a drug dealer. It meant, however, that he knew why he opened a bottle of cheap beer and didn’t stop. It meant he had to be honest with you.

“I was still angry, but I got… sad. I got home an’ couldn’t focus on anything. I was thinking about you going home to them. About if you were gonna get grilled about where you’d spent the night. About what they would be sayin’ about me… About what you deserve. I was just… sad. I didn’t know how to handle it.”

You’d begun to cry, the tears silently drawing wet lines down your face. “I’m sorry,”

“No, angel,” Eddie said softly. “You don’t have to say shit. It’s not your fault. I’m fine. I’m okay. Like I said, just something Wayne picks up on.”

There were a lot of things you were thinking and feeling, but it was all a mess inside your head and you didn’t know how to stop them moving around long enough to grasp onto. You just held Eddie’s hand tighter.

“Was it bad? With your parents?” Eddie asked, unable to live with not knowing any longer.

“I… Um, I don’t really know? It wasn’t like on Wednesday. I think… maybe because that was bad they didn’t want to, like, repeat it. Dad ignored me when I got home. He pretty much won’t look at me now. He said some stuff at dinner.”

Specifically, he had said that perhaps it was good that you had put on weight, that you would fit in with the other trailer park women. Except, he didn’t use the word women.

“What about your mum?”

She had said you smelt dirty.

“About the same. It’s… It’s like, stupid, because I’m not doing anything bad. Like, what would they do if I was a bad kid, you know?”

Eddie nodded. “I know. It’s fucked,”

“I think they were…” You almost said what you hadn’t even let yourself acknowledge in thought. The tears were hot and salty, burning your eyes. You sniffed, trying to pull the snot back up into your nose. If you just said it, maybe it wouldn’t feel so bad. “I think Dad was so close… to… you know…”

Eddie was shaking, but your own efforts to stop yourself from crying made you oblivious. If you wanted to say it, he’d let you, but it was excruciating to hear.

“Hitting me... that he freaked himself out. I don’t know,” you finished.

Eddie was quiet for a moment, then pulled you onto his lap, curled his arms around you, and held you close. Weirdly, you did feel better after verbalising it. You controlled the crying and slowly started to breathe easier.

“Surprised you’re not banned from seeing me.”

You chewed your lip and played with Eddie’s pick necklace. “What… What do we do if that happens?”

Eddie didn’t let himself think about it. “Dunno. Don’t need to worry about shit that hasn’t happened yet, okay? What we need to worry about is if you’re too chicken to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

Your head shot up and you looked at Eddie outraged. “I am not chicken!”

…

When your parents returned from Indianapolis, you avoided them. They argued about the money they had spent on the hotel room. Your father blamed your mother, said she was too much of a control freak to stay in the same house as a dog. Your mother blamed your father, it was his brother they were there for after all.

Neither of them told you how your uncle was, not that you cared. You read about kidney stones in a medical book while Eddie completed a practice test. You kept time and walked around the school library, bored. The book told you they were indeed painful, and part of you hoped your uncles were hard to pass. There was a small spark of joy when reading that there was a genetic component; maybe your father would get them too.

The days of avoiding your parents turned to a couple of weeks. The quietness wasn’t a comforting one, though. It felt like the calm before the storm. Something wicked this way comes. You took your wins where you could. And the fact that you were supremely distracted by all things Eddie was one of those wins.

Eddie’s hold on your body was like a vice grip. His kisses were deep; sometimes it felt like he was trying to map your mouth with his tongue. The way he held your hand was needy. It was all adding up to a feeling you knew he had. An insurmountable desire. A carnal need.

The only thing that rivalled Eddie’s want was yours.

It wasn’t enough anymore. It didn’t matter how long you made out for, how many bruises he left just under your collar, you were never satisfied. When kisses ended and you stared at each other, breathless and shaky, you knew what the other was thinking.

Eddie was all caught up in his head about it. He wanted to ask clearly and specifically if you wanted more. To go further. But he didn’t want to ruin the fun of spontaneity. He didn’t want to be presumptuous. He didn’t want you to feel pressured.

Of course, you knew he was navigating the minefield of you and your body. Despite trusting Eddie, you couldn’t muster the courage needed to just tell him yes. Yes, you were ready to take off a few more layers. Yes, you wanted him to explore. Yes to further.

The best you could do was make vague comments about things with the hope Eddie would play along.

“I don’t think other girls have snail trails.”

Eddie was starfished on his bed. At your sentence, he sat up and watched you as you stood in front of his mirror, lifting your shirt to examine your belly.

“Can I see?” he asked.

You moved next to the bed. Eddie slid to the edge and held your hips, pulling you to stand between his legs. He pushed your shirt up and smiled at the dark but sparse hairs that went from your belly button downwards, disappearing into the top hem of your pyjama pants.

“See?”

“I see… a very cute tummy,” Eddie said, looking up at you. God, that look burned. He grinned, a cat with its cream, then softly kissed your stomach a few slow times. “And I see your snail trail, and I think it does what it’s meant to,”

“What do you mean? What’s it meant to do?”

Eddie shrugged. “Like how eyebrows keep sweat from rollin’ into your eyes,”

“What? Is that even true?” you asked. Eddie was fifty percent weird but true facts, fifty percent eloquent bullshit.

“Yeah. And eyelashes are to stop shit getting in your eyes. Everything’s doin’ something,”

“Okay… so what do snail trails do?”

“Obviously,” he started, rolling his head around dramatically. “They’re a trail to follow. Breadcrumbs, you know?” Eddie’s fingers slowly began to twitch around your hips. “A pathway to heaven, baby girl.”

Before you could stop him, he’d caught you in an attack of tickles, pulling you onto the bed with him. You squealed with laughter. Yelling, “Never call me that again!”

“S’not sexy?” Eddie asked, pausing the attack but not moving from where he had you pinned. You shook your head, a firm no. “Whaaaat about… Sweet cheeks?”

“Absolutely not,”

“Hot stuff?”

“No,”

“Foxy lady?”

You pulled a face. Eddie continued, finding more pet names to amuse and disgust you. Every couple of entries to the list, you gave him an ‘eh maybe’ shrug.

“So, we’re sticking with angel then?”

“Yes, please,” you answered sugar sweet.

“Alright… And, ah, as for your snail trail,” Eddie said, letting himself fall to lay beside you. “Other girls do have ‘em.” He moved to rest his head on your stomach, close enough to follow the trail and leave kisses as he went.

“How do you know? Girls in magazines don’t.”

Eddie considered his options. He could pull out some dirty magazines and show you that, in fact, some women do have snail trails. Alternatively, he could admit that in his limited but no less valid experience, women in the real world do too. Either way, you needed proof.

“Maybe not in yours. But… in mine…” Eddie offered.

You propped yourself up and looked at him. “Show me,” you demanded.

“Promise not to judge? Can’t call me a pervert or anything,” he said as he rolled off the bed and went digging under it.

You sat up and bounced with excitement. Eddie shot you a look. “Yeah, I promise. Of course,” you said quickly.

As soon as he produced a couple, you were greedily flipping through the pages. Some of the women were the stereotypical ideal of what a woman should be. Most of the women, however, were not. Apparently, Eddie looked for diversity in his porn.

“See?” he said smugly.

It was the inception of the idea that maybe there was nothing unique about your body. Maybe you were just like all the women that had come before you and would exist after you. It was an entirely comforting thought, borderline revolutionary.

“You wanna see my favourite?” Eddie asked.

It hadn’t even really occurred to you to look at the sex of it all. That’s what the magazine was selling, after all. The women were posed, promising something through the lens of the camera that could never be delivered.

These magazines were Eddie’s. They weren’t casual reading. The thought of how he used them made you feel unsteady. But, there he was, willing to be honest with you. Yet again inviting you into another part of his world with no expectation on your part.

When you nodded, Eddie flipped through a couple of pages, leaving it open on a double-page spread of a woman with a body not entirely unlike yours. She was proportioned in a way you felt made her more beautiful than you, but Eddie would argue that point if you let him.

Although she was naked, she’d been styled to look like a 50s pinup girl. A curled fringe and plastic tiger ears sat on her head. Obscenely red lips. Her long red nails were drawing attention to the shiny stretch marks that cut across her thighs and stomach.

“I have those…” you said, the thought coming from your mouth before you’d even registered it in your mind. “Only on my legs though.”

Eddie said nothing, but his lips curved into a smile as he watched you try to comprehend the fact that your body was normal. Another truth, one harder to digest, but maybe your body was desirable.

As Eddie stood up to flip the cassette in his tape deck around, you swapped magazines and continued your education.

“Should I be jealous?”

His voice made you jump. He’d leaned over and whispered in your ear, laughing when you squeaked.

“Eddie!”

He was still laughing as he climbed onto the bed, taking the magazine from you and pushing them all away. You let him do it, then followed him to lay down, head on the pillows.

“You don’t need to be jealous,” you told him.

Eddie reached out and held your face in his hand, running his thumb along your bottom lip. You opened your mouth and took his thumb between your teeth.

“No? Just me then?”

You nodded, closing your lips around his thumb and sucking. Eddie’s pupils blew out, darkening his already deep brown eyes. When you let go of him, he quickly replaced his hand with his mouth, kissing you and pulling you into him.

“Can I… Ah, would it be okay if… Your shirt.” You’d never heard Eddie that breathless, an almost whiny note to his voice. It did things to you, caught you between wanting to tease him sweetly and drag it out, and give in and let him do anything he wanted to you.

“Yeah, and yours,” you answered.

Eddie’s skin felt hot against yours.

“Do you want to, to keep that on or, ah…?” he asked. Eddie’s fingers were hooked under the straps of your bra.

On a breath out, you told him, “Off. You can take it off,”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Yep.”

Eddie was gentle, letting you shimmy out of your bra. He kissed the lines it had left along your shoulders, checking on you as he wriggled lower. Your eyes had closed, tongue poking out from between your lips in anticipation. Eddie smiled as he kissed along your neck and down past the point where you used to spend time wishing visible collarbones would appear.

“Good?” he checked.

“Yeah.”

The kisses turned into a feeling you didn’t recognise. He was sucking, which in theory sounded strange but in practice felt good. When he licked along your nipple, then blew onto it, the cold made you shiver and the feeling made you whimper a little. The sound went through Eddie like a lightning bolt.

“I love you so fucking much,” he said into your chest, the words tickling against your skin. “I wanna… wanna touch you and make you feel good and… fuck.”

Eddie was unravelling and you loved it, laughing at his neediness. The happy sound just spurred him on. He kissed up and down your arms, across your chest, and licked a wet line down your snail trail, stopping at the waistband.

“Fuck,” he said again, pressing his forehead against your belly and stopping himself from doing anything more.

“Hi,” you cooed as he joined you back up on the pillows.

“Hi. Sorry. I, ah-”

“Don’t say sorry,”

“Okay, but, um, we should… Ah… I should ask you…” The fact that you didn’t know what exactly he was saying was evidence enough that he definitely did need to slow down and talk. Eddie studied your open expression. “This is the… most you’ve… done.”

It wasn’t a question, but you nodded. “Yeah,”

“Right, so I just want to make sure you’re good. That’s everything’s good,”

“Everything’s good, Eddie,” you whisper, smiling, still not quite on the same page as him.

“Okay… Okay, but, um, I don’t know if it matters… But, um, it feels like I should tell you that it’s not, like, that for me.”

Eddie watched your smile drop as your expression went completely neutral. A painful second then two ticked by.

“You mean, like, everything?” you asked. Eddie nodded. It hurt, but the hurt quickly turned to guilt because you didn’t want to be like that, didn’t want to care.

“It’s not been like this though. Nobody’s like you… Do you want me to tell you about ‘em?”

“Them? More than one?”

“Angel,” Eddie said, his voice low and soothing. He pulled you close and kissed you hard. “I’ve never loved someone before. Never wanted someone like I want you. I promise. I fuckin’ swear on Ozzy and Ronnie and… on Wayne. I love you,”

“I know. It’s okay. I’m okay,” you said, annoyed that Eddie could tell you were upset.

“Lemme tell you. Seriously. You’ll get it then,” he swore. You nodded. “First time was last year. I was at a show in Louisville. Made some friends and went back to someone’s house. We were all drunk and I ended up in some girl’s bed. I was… terrible, but she was nice about it and that was that,”

“Was it her first time?�� you asked. Eddie shook his head no. “Did you, like, stay in contact?”

“No. She was, ah, like, twenty-one, two, maybe? She got pissed when I told her how old I was, which is fair, but it wasn’t like either of us talked much before, so… Yeah…” Eddie shrugged like the memory held no emotion. Honestly, it didn’t really.

It made more sense to you why Eddie wanted you to feel special. Why he was concerned with communication.

“That was in… March, maybe? Then in the Fall, I met this girl who was visiting family. Like, in Hawkins. She was here for a week over Halloween. We hung out a couple times. Messed around, you know?”

There were so many questions you wanted to ask, but you wanted Eddie to think you were totally chill. Wanting to know everything was probably weird, right?

“Okay,” you said.

Eddie narrowed his eyes at you, lifted his chin a little – two tells that he was suspicious. “Just okay? You don’t want to, like, ask anything?” You shook your head. “It’s okay if you do. If it were you, I’d be going crazy. I’d need every detail.”

You bit your lip and gave in. “Was it her first time?”

“Nah. She had just broken up with her boyfriend… I was probably her rebellious rebound thing,”

“How many times did you… have sex,”

“Like, sex sex? Um… three. Yeah, three…” Eddie could see your mind going a hundred miles an hour. “Her name was Eve. We didn’t have much in common, except being bored. And, uh, we didn’t swap numbers or anythin’ like that.”

Eddie was right. It did help to know. Your mind would have filled in the blanks with stories vastly different from the truth.

“Believe me, it’s never been like this. Just this, today, is a million times better than anything I’ve done before. I promise,”

“Yeah, ‘kay,”

“Yeah?” he asked, purposefully fluttering his eyelashes and giving you puppy dog eyes.

“Yeah. I’m good,”

“Alright… Was that a bit of a buzzkill?”

“No! No. I’m-” you started to answer, but Eddie caught you in a kiss.

“Take a second,” he instructed.

Predictably, you did as you were told. Listening to your body, you could feel you weren’t as franticly turned on anymore, but your buzz wasn’t necessarily killed either. The problem was that you didn’t really know how to say that, so you just shrugged.

Eddie nodded, almost too seriously, knowingly. “Well… I have some questions… If you’re okay to keep... talking,” he offered.

“What kind of questions?”

Eddie grinned, happy to hear the right tone in your voice. “Liiiiiiike, when we… do this again, what do you want to do?”

“What are my options?” you cheekily asked back.

Eddie laughed. “I don’t exactly have a menu prepared, but I can whip one up if I’d make you happy,” he joked.

“With codewords,”

“What, like, order pancakes and I’ll have your shirt off in seconds?” He leans down and kissed the rise of your breasts in illustration. It makes you laugh and squirm. “Seriously though… I wanna know… like, what you’re good for,”

“What if I don’t know?”

“Do you know?”

You wished Eddie could just read your mind. Despite genuinely being comfortable and totally excited at the thought of doing anything with him, it was stupidly hard to just verbalise your thoughts.

“Um. It’s more like… What happens if I think I know and we go to do that but then it changes?”

“Then it changes. That’s normal. Nobody wants the same things all the time. I don’t. Well. I do. I want you all the time-”

“Oh my god, shut up,” you laughed, pushing him away when he tried his puppy dog look again.

“You love me,” he countered. “Seriously. You say the word, no matter what we’re doing, we stop. Completely or just for a minute. Whatever,”

“Okay… What’s the word?” you asked. Eddie’s head turned a bit, confused. “The… safe word?”

Eddie’s face lit up. “Oh. Oh, you know what a safe word is, huh? Not so innocent after all? Not so angelic,” he teased, tickling your sides, making you squeal and your tits bounce fantastically. Eddie stopped, let you breathe. “What do you want it to be?”

You tried to think of a very unsexy word. “Basketball.”

Eddie laughed, nodding. “That’s… yeah… That will do it.”

Eddie sighed, closed the space between you once again, kissing your neck, trying to fight the urge to leave love bites. “What’s your feeling about hickies?” he asked, thought straight from brain to mouth.

“My parents would freak.”

He knew that, hence the urge-fighting. “What about if they couldn’t see them?”

Eddie kissed down. One of his arms snaked around you, holding you close. With his free hand, he cupped you, his thumb running gently back and forth over the nipple. The other got the attention of his mouth. Your eyes screw shut and your head lolled back.

“Is that a yes?” he asked, mouth hot against your skin.

“Yes. Please,” you answered.

You could feel him smile into you. “Don’t gotta use your manners with me.”

It didn’t feel like you were just killing time before the main event. The hours slipped by so quickly, topless and warm and wanted in Eddie’s bed. He never grew bored of you. The little gasps or giggles. The rose petal softness of your skin. The trust you had in him. And you had never been happier.

Later, when you replayed the night in your head on a loop, you realised there were moments where you weren’t just tolerant of your body, but thankful for it. For its chubby size - your chest, more than a handful for Eddie to paw at and fawn over. For its inexperience – every fingertip run down your spine felt brand new and special. For its existence – for getting you through life and to the point where you could be that close to Eddie Munson, the sweetest boy you’d ever know and the only one to make you ache in a way that was still making you blush.

NEXT CHAPTER: 6 - Monsterous

End Note: Still feeling incredibly self-conscious about smut, particularly vocab (tits versus breasts versus boobs is killing me). I lowkey beg for feedback, please.

Also, find me and my Eddie zine that Joseph Quinn has personally seen and approved over on my Insta.

Fic Taglist: @ajeff855 @b-barnes04 @eddie-munson-is-a-sweetheart @nerd-squad-headquarters @word-wytch @harrys-tittie @munsonsmel0dy @sidthedollface2 @eddiethesexy

All My Eddie x Reader Content Taglist: @solomons-finest-rum @ruinedbythehobbit @munsonlives @sweetpeapod @depressooexxpressoo @thorfemmes @hawkins-high @corrodedhawkins @grungegrrrl @lilzabob @mymoonisalways-in-scorpio @averagemisfit03

#Mine #Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson Fanfic #Eddie Munson/You #Eddie Munson/Reader #Eddie Munson x You #Eddie Munson x Reader #Eddie Munson x Chubby!Reader

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yuly · 1 year

Note

Im enjoying your writing so much!

I have another story idea after listening to I never told you by colbie caillat 🤣

What if Aaron and reader had been together for a year or two and everything is great they’re happy and have a lot of memories together but after a while she starts to pull back because she can’t handle him being gone all the time and being in danger so often so she leaves one night without saying anything about how she’s been feeling. a year or so later she sees him with Beth and she just things to herself “I never told you, I just held it in and now I miss everything about you I shouldn’t have walked away” but seeing him and Jack happy she walks away again

But if you want to make it a happy ending maybe after Beth leaves reader and Aaron bump into each other and they talk about everything and reader finally tells him everything they should have said before and how they shouldn’t have ever said goodbye and how missing him while he’s away is better than not having him at all, and they decide to try again but take things super slow and promise to communicate

→ thank you so much!! Ahh you’re an absolute genius for this idea, I'm realizing now just how much I deviated from the original prompt 🤦‍♀️, but I hope you enjoy ♡

CW: angst, a toxic relationship

Aaron Hotchner x female reader

Too Little, Too Late

When things were good between you and Aaron, they were really good. Aaron was a caring, considerate and compassionate boyfriend. He doted on you dearly and made it his mission to make you smile every day. You made him laugh and find joy in the small things in life. You brought out the best in each other.

But you also brought out the worst in each other. Aaron often pushed people away and had a hard time communicating. He hated spending so much time away from you; it was all too similar to his failed marriage. So he tried to do things differently this time, to talk to you about it, but it wasn't as easy as he had hoped. You had a bad habit of letting other people’s opinions dictate your life. This frustrated Aaron to no end; it made him want to give up on love altogether. People questioned you for being with an older man, for spending so much time watching his son, for being in a relationship that could technically be classified as long-distance.

"You can do so much better, why are you settling?"

"You will regret this in ten years."

You heard it all the time, and you internalized all of it.

You would often confront him after a long case with questions about your relationship. It annoyed him because you had discussed his work and lifestyle at the beginning of your relationship.

“Sweetheart, I thought we’ve been through this, why the sudden change of heart?”

“Yes, but I shouldn’t have to beg for what I deserve, Aaron.”

He let out an exasperated sigh, “Y/N, I can’t help it that you're so gullible to what everyone around you is saying! Our relationship is our business, no one else’s input should matter.”

“Don’t try to deflect, this relationship is so one-sided, I barely get to see you!”

Aaron felt his head spinning, this was déjà vu with his marriage to Haley. He couldn’t understand why you were suddenly opposed to his working hours after spending two years without any issue.

Eventually, the two of you would cool off, apologize to one another, and return to that sweet spot once again. But soon enough, he would be called away on a case, and the cycle would start over. It was a toxic song and dance you were both accustomed too. You wanted to shut everyone up so badly and finally have the perfect relationship to brag about. Aaron wanted peace of mind and a stable relationship.

One evening, Aaron called to let you know his case would be extended over the weekend. You were saddened, but not surprised. You would get to see him on Monday and all would be well.

That was before you went out for drinks for your friends, who reminded you that it was Valentine's Day weekend. Before they began bragging about the lavish, romantic dates their men had planned. And before they all shot you a look of pity when they realized you didn’t have any plans.

You went home that night in a drunken rage. Angry at Aaron for embarrassing you yet again in front of your friends. You sloppily packed your things, left him a half-hearted note on the fridge and texted Jessica so she wouldn’t come looking for you in the morning. You finally gave in to the pressure, confident that the grass would be greener on the other side.

When Aaron came home to an empty house and a scribbled breakup note, he felt the room begin to spin around him. He was transported back seven years when Haley had taken Jack and left him an empty house. His fingers trembled as he reread the note, and his eyes filled with tears. You were gone, and you took his heart with you.

Nearly a year later, you’re mindlessly roaming the aisle of Saks Fifth when you hear an eerily familiar voice.

“I think it would look great on you honey.”

“You’ve said that about everything I’ve tried on, Aaron!”

There was Aaron, grinning ear-to-ear with a blushing brunette by his side. They looked so in love, a picture-perfect couple. A hot flush crossed your cheeks as you felt your stomach drop. He was still such a gentleman, kindhearted and gentle despite the hand he’d been dealt in this life. You looked at him and finally saw the man you let go of. But your epiphany was useless. It was too little too late, he had moved on, and he was happy.

In the year after you left, Aaron realized the parallels between this relationship and his marriage were neither déjà vu nor coincidental. Both were unhealthy relationships that stifled his ability to love correctly and receive the love he deserved.

In that same year, you realized that walking away from Aaron Hotchner was the single most painful mistake you had ever made. Giving in to the crowd robbed you of what could have been the love of a lifetime.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner angst #angst prompt #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fan fiction #yuly writes!#ask answered #ssa aaron hotchner

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special-wolf · 2 years

Text

Cycle || Bakugou Katsuki & Todoroki Shoto

[Female Reader]

{Headcanon}

Bakugou Katsuki:

During your menstrual cycle, Bakugou would be uncharacteristically calm and patient.

He knows the shit that can happen during the cycle because of his mother, and he really doesn't want to feel your wrath.

If you'd ask him to get something then he will (with a small 'tch' and huff).

He'd be a lot more touchy and engage with cuddles or anything similar without much struggle like he usually would, if you want your cuddles then you bet your ass he'll give you them.

He'd always make sure you're actually on whatever you're laying on rather than him in case he has to get up, he'd prefer you snuggled into his side so he can have his hand over your stomach to try and relieve any cramps you get.

He wouldn't mind going out to get you any tampons/pads you need, he'd just need to know what type and size you'd want. He'd more than likely get some of your favourite sweets too or anything else you've been craving for a while to keep you happy.

He'd make sure not to be too mean; he'd hold back the witty comments and calling you 'dumbass' or anything similar.

If he did end up making a comment that pissed you off, he would straight up evacuate the building. He knows if he stays there that he's going to get his ass whooped by you or the girls once they hear about it and he's not taking any chances.

But if the comment upset you, he'd do his best to make it up to you since he genuinely didn't mean it. He's a softie on the inside, and he'll reluctantly admit if if you're upset. ("Shit, I didn't mean that. You know how I am... I'm... You make me soft.")

All in all, he'd be a simp out of fear so take that however you want to.

Todoroki Shoto:

Poor guy didn't know what was going on at the start, he genuinely thought you suddenly hated him.

But once you or one of the girls explained it to him... He still was weary. But he tried his best to make it up to you.

He wasn't really sure how to help but a few texts to Fuyumi soon helped him a bit. From what she said, Todoroki ended up going on a shopping spree for everything he knew you liked to eat or drink. He heard about cravings and just thought it'd be better for you have a selection than not have what you want. The owner of the store fucking loved him.

But after that, he stayed near you as he made sure you were comfortable. The thing he was most scared about was the cramps, he had no idea what yours were like and Fuyumi's summary didn't calm his nerves the slightest. Hearing that some were about as painful as a heart attack almost gave Todoroki a heart attack himself.

So he made sure to keep you on his left at all times even when you complained about being too warm. He wanted his left side to be used for good and help with the cramps.

He treated you like a damn princess, feeding you what you wanted as he kept his hand near you to put where ever the cramps were.

He made sure to carry you everywhere too after he heard you complain about the feeling of getting up and just feeling the blood everywhere. He didn't really wanna hear about it in great detail, but you deserve to complain so he went along with it.

As he learned more and more about the cycle, the more his respect for you and women around the globe went up. He couldn't imagine going through that.

But God, he was so glad he didn't have to. Just seeing how unhappy you were with some of the experiences made him realise how lucky he was. But he did enjoy seeing your mood change drastically throughout the day and week; it interested him to see what upset you during the time so he knew what not to do. He knew how oblivious he could be with you, and he really didn't wanna make your time worse.

He wanted the best for you, even though he didn't feel like he did much.

#special.writes #bnha x reader #bnha #mha x reader #mha #bnha shoto todoroki #todoroki shoto #todoroki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader

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deliciouswastelandgoddess · 2 years

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Dehumanising Pete

I think Pete, a former abused child, full of empathy and cynicism, working in the crime world has always felt a sense of displacement in this world. He started his life with a violent father, put into a violent sport, and then ultimately into a violent profession. He is an intrinsically smart person who understands other people and their motivations, it's an amazing quality to have but it can also be draining on one's mental health. Highly empathetic people sometimes suffer from frequent if not chronic bouts of identity crisis. I think working for the main family and Tankhun made his life much much better than what it must have been but it would still be a slightly dehumanised role to fill - a bodyguard's literal job is to lay his own life down for their employer and that cannot be good for ones sense of self worth no matter how good your bosses are. And I think Kinn and Tankhun are good bosses, bad writing aside - it's just the very nature profession that cannot be good for anybody.

We see Pete go through such a bout of the aforementioned identity crisis mixed with a hell lot of anger when he lashes out at Vegas - I have always been useless, just kill me, I have nothing left, not even my humanity, just kill me. It was heartbreaking to watch really but his anger had a very clear, very simple reason. He trusted Vegas with his freedom, his body and his well being and Vegas returned that favour with the worst form of betrayal - by treating him like an object - to love, to cherish, to care or to beat, to abuse, to torture at his convenience. Vegas failed at showing up when Pete needed it the most and sure he himself is being abused but that's irrelevant, especially to a person like Pete who actively chose to break the cycle of violence.

He hates being bound, he hates that he had the chance to escape but didn't and he hates Vegas for taking advantage of his slip. Most of all he hates himself for slipping up in the first place. We see that in the scene where he slaps himself(can't find the gif)

Lastly he acknowledges that no matter how much Vegas, this world and he himself dehumanise him, he is still human, he isn't unbreakable. He deserves to feel safe unconditionally if not loved, he deserves dignity if not loyalty. He calls out Vegas for being a self absorbed asshole and he stands up for himself, but by this time he is already exhausted and broken.

Once he breaks free and reaches his safe place (the main family home) he is still not over his experience and I believe while he did develope some attachment to Vegas, that is not why he is still in distress. To me this looks like a straightforward case of PTSD. He went through a horrible thing and that has left him with trauma - his feelings are just making it worse.

For me as a viewer, while I do care for Vegas' character arc in and on itself, I don't give a shit about him when it comes to Pete. If it takes shooting Vegas in the head for Pete to move on, id cheer him on. If it takes him to just ignore Vegas, that's also fine. Maybe his healing will involve Vegas - again, don't give a shit. But I just want to see Pete feel like he deserves to live, and live fully in constant peace if not constant happiness.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche spoilers #build jakapan #vegaspete #bible wichapas #kinnporsche meta

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abovetherainandroses · 5 months

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Storm here! 🌩 Tysm for the tag @27-royal-teas! <3 I haven't done a tumblr meme thing in forever! And I don't really have any friends on this blog so I don't have anyone to tag, but if you're a writer who follows me, consider yourself tagged! (And also come be my friend)

This got long! I talk too much! Answers are below the cut!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So I have two accounts lol, because for some reason I decided to make a separate RPF account even though I have other embarrassing things on main account anyway?? Anyway, I currently have 100 fics on my main and 5 on my RPF account.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Across both accounts, 379,693 words for an average of 3.6k per fic. Longfic? I don't know her.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I usually write for one fandom at a time, but I will revisit/cycle through fandoms. Currently it's Fall Out Boy. Previously, I was writing some MCU stuff (mostly Spider-Man). Also wrote a handful of Good Omens stuff back when S1 came out. I have the most fics posted for Haikyuu (volleyball manga/anime) lol.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Oops I only have 5 fics so far on my RPF account and I'm still debating whether I want this account directly linked to my main.

But I will take this opportunity to tell anyone who needs it not to put too much stock into kudos!! Kudos count relies on a lot of factors, but a big two are fandom/ship size and when you post the fic relative to the height of the fandom's activity. (Getting in early with a fic right after a new movie/season/etc. comes out so you're one of the first fics for the New Thing can be huge too.)

External validation is obviously very nice but if you rely too much on it, you're not gonna have a good time.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Comments make my entire life and I always want to respond to them, but I inevitably fall off because the brain energy isn't there, and I keep putting it off, and putting it off, and putting it off, and then it feels too late. But seeing as I only have 5 fics on my RPF account, I recently went and responded to everything, even if it was years late. In the past few weeks I've actually gotten responses to some comments I left on fics like 3 years ago so it inspired me, haha.

I myself am not always good at leaving comments (continuous goal to get better at it), so I really appreciate the people who take the time to leave kind comments for me and I want to express that appreciation.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually write angsty fic... I'm too softhearted. That said, I have made a few forays into angst, but Your Mileage May Vary on which one is the angstiest. Is it the major character death? Is it the one where they're soulmates with the last words they'll say to each other written on their skin, and in the end it's not death that separates them, but their own inability to have a functional relationship with each other?

Or is it the one I didn't even think was super angsty and tagged "bittersweet ending" but then it made a bunch of people cry? I'm still like "...my bad" about that one lmao.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Fluff is my lifeblood and almost all of my fics have a happy ending. I couldn't tell you which was the happiest, haha. Again, I'm incredibly softhearted, and also a big sap. I cannot deny this!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thinking very hard... I have been posting fic for............. several years so it is possible I am forgetting something but nothing comes to mind! I have always felt too relatively unknown for haters, which is just fine by me.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

"What kind" lol. What does that even mean. Listen, my kink is holding hands during sex and being ❤️ in love ❤️ (I mentioned I'm a softhearted sap, right??)

Sometimes I might explore some light kink but nothing too hardcore imo.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Again, I've been writing/posting fic for several years, so I could be forgetting something, but I don't remember ever writing a true crossover. Though in my personal definition of fandom terms, crossover = characters from fandom A meet characters from fandom B. I have written a few fusion AUs in my time (characters from fandom A existing in the world of fandom B), which you could say falls under the crossover umbrella. For example, I've written Kingdom Hearts characters in a Pacific Rim AU and Haikyuu characters in Dragon Age AU.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Though I did once see (this was a SUPER long time ago) someone repost my fic on tumblr the same day I posted it on FFN, even though I also posted the full text of the fic on tumblr myself. They credited my FFN account, at least, but like. Hey. Don't do that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, I've had some fics translated into various languages! It's definitely an honor that people want to share some of my stuff in other languages and take the time to do that translation work. I try to ask people keep translations on AO3 but it hasn't always succeeded so there are some translations of my works floating around on foreign language fic sites... Ah well.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I successfully co-wrote one (1) fic with one of my friends years ago. I've tried a few other times to co-write fics (including with the same person) but none of them ever finished... Co-writing fic is hard! Idk how to do it effectively. I've done a handful of fic/art collabs with my wife though!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't know that I have a single all-time favorite ship, but Peterick is definitely the current fave. I........ adore them. So much.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Listen, I am a hoarder of WIPs and a clinger to delusions that they will one day be finished. But okay, one of my peterick WIPs from 2016-2017 that I really liked but highly doubt I'll ever finish is a no-band, dating show AU where Pete is the eligible bachelor on a queer offshoot of the Bachelor/Bachelorette and Patrick (through machinations by Joe) ends up as a contestant on the show. Patrick is camera shy and does not want to be there, but he made a deal with Joe to stay til he was eliminated. Pete, who just went through a public and messy divorce with Ashlee, does not want to be there, but he was guilt-tripped into using his moderate fame to help bring viewership to the underfunded little queer show.

Pete finds out Patrick never wanted to be there in the first place and offers to eliminate Patrick. I will copy/paste the next bit from my gdoc:

"[...] pete’s like what if…i didn’t eliminate you and we just stayed friends and hung out and stuff and patrick finds himself agreeing bc pete’s a really nice dude and they have a lot of interests in common

But then Patrick keeps sticking around through the weeks and Patrick and Pete fall in love and both end up having separate private crises because they agreed to be friends. Patrick sees Pete spending time with other candidates and clearly being attracted to them and it sucks because now Patrick is in love with Pete and Pete isn’t considering him at all. Meanwhile Pete is having a good time with the other candidates and sure there’s lust there and even some like but he can’t stop thinking about how perfect Patrick is for him except for oh wait Patrick doesn’t even want to BE here and Pete was the one who convinced him to stay and now he’s fucking in love with him."

Blah blah blah, stuff happens, Pete eliminates Patrick in the last few weeks then when he has to make the choice between the final two candidates, calls Patrick and confesses to him instead, blah blah blah, happy ending.

Anyway. I wrote 11k of that fic and I was about 1/3 of the way through. It will never be finished. But now I've told you all about it and that's good enough, right?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Internal narration and emotions. Tightly focused fics that span 1-3 scenes. Spelling and grammar.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Longfic or fic with several scenes that take place over an extended stretch of time. Related to that, coming up with external plot events rather than just internal conflict HAHA. Describing the setting/environment so the characters don't just exist in a nebulous empty space.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

As with most of my preferences re: fic, it depends on the execution. It can feel clunky and maybe even cringey, or it can feel natural and realistic. Just be intentional about how you're using it. Also, it always helps if you know a fluent speaker who can review it for you but understandably you may not always have someone like that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior... cats...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is impossible to answer hahahaha. Certainly if we look at my main AO3. But if we're looking at my grand total of 5 (as of yet) RPF fics, I can say that I'm still quite fond of get us right (quitters never win), a fob AU fic where everything is the same but they all have minor superpowers, featuring empath!Patrick and telepath!Pete.

Aaaaand we are done! If you got this far, I am giving you cookies.

#why do i talk so much #storm talks #genuinely feel like i owe anyone who reads all my rambling something #come talk to me about peterick and give me fic prompts or something

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