#feeling everything and doing their best at everything and sometimes failing and sometimes succeeding

[samisnotlegend]

Not that this is exactly a risky conjecture, but your fic tells me you have strong feelings about inequity and community based on personal experience (and maybe a little bit of wishfulness). Also I associate you with the feeling "fierce joy."

Funny, I associate YOU with joy too. 🥰 But yep, spot on. I have big feelings about everything (though I actually don’t cry very often) and a lot of what happens in BB is based on personal experience. Only with softer and kinder outcomes. More wishful, exactly like you said.

#it might not have been a risky conjecture per se but you were exactly right!!! #also fierce joy…. ahhh I’m gonna be thinking about that all day!!! #I just like it when everyone is living their life to the fullest #feeling everything and doing their best at everything and sometimes failing and sometimes succeeding #but just!!!! being happy being alive!!!! #broke boys #ask #fic assumption game #also this is funny as an ace person because I know you’re tal so talking about my smut fics with fierce joy #I legit don’t understand sex without joy 😆 #why do it if it doesn’t make you happy?? okay I know there are SO MANY reasons that are valid and good #but that’s why they have fun sex everytime lmao

[churipu]

I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE GOJO !!! could i request him having a girlfriend that's really good in the kitchen? like both cooking AND baking !! i can imagine him getting a sugar rush (from her !!) because she tried recreating (and succeeded) his favorite kikufuku from scratch 🩷 and she's probably worrying all the time if the stuff that she makes is good because she just cooks and bakes "for fun" and not as a full time thing 🥹

SUGAR RUSH ! — GOJO SATORU + A GOOD COOK GIRLFRIEND

featuring. gojo satoru

warning. none :)

note. hii anon! <33 i absolutely love this, i can just imagine him being so happy about having a really good cook girlfriend. i hope this is to your liking, have a great day anon! and to you readers, have a big fat sloppy kiss mwah!

"baby, did you make this yourself?" gojo asks you, taking a bite out of the kikufuku mochi you made him this afternoon.

he had opened the freezer a few minutes prior to look for anything he can nibble on — and oolala he came across a tray of kikufuku he doesn't remember being there. but having a good cook of a girlfriend, he wasn't even surprised anymore, he's just very delighted to have his very own homemade kikufuku made by yours truly.

you nodded your head, "do you...like it? tell me how it tastes, i've been working on it for a while now so i'm not sure how it would taste."

"like it? i don't like it." gojo mutters out, eyeing you.

you didn't take things to the heart quickly, you've always believed that failing is a process of learning. so you chuckled, "don't worry about it, i'll try making another one for you. was it too sweet? or was the mochi skin weird on texture?"

gojo grins, "baby, i love it! you really should think about opening your own restaurant — i'll even fund it, no kidding." he tells you, taking another bite out of the kikufuku mochi.

opening a restaurant has been a long time dream. and gojo knew, but there are a few reasons to why it hasn't opened up till' now, you weren't confident with your own cooking. no matter how many times gojo told you about how good they are — you still think they aren't restaurant worthy yet.

"maybe next time? i don't think i have the time for it now," you were technically speaking half the truth.

you had a stable job that pays well (not as much as gojo who's a jujutsu sorcerer, but still enough) — you landed a job as a baker, so you all you needed to do was follow your boss' recipe and everything was settled.

"you can just resign and...focus on this one, hm?" gojo slithered his arms around your waist, pressing kisses on the side of your face— in a way on encouraging you, "i'll even help you, 'm sure it's going to be a great hit!"

you chuckled at his statement, "maybe in a few years, satoru?"

the male whines, burying his face into your neck. he'd never understood why you always tell him that, no matter how hard he tried to convince you about opening a restaurant, you'd decline saying that it wasn't time yet.

but gojo, he could see right through you like an open book. the problem wasn't it being "the wrong time", it was how you weren't confident with what you've made; despite him telling you thousands of time that what you made never fail to amaze him with your cooking.

you sometimes think he was saying that just to make you happy.

cooking for gojo has been a daily routine, he never asks for you to do it — you just liked cooking so much that you made it your job to always make sure he's full. knowing he has a sweet tooth, especially for kikufuku, you try your best to make them for him.

it was quite hard to nail the dessert on the first few times. but like everyone said: "practice makes perfect" and sure enough your hard work pays off, he does enjoy the kikufuku you took long to perfect. and your heart feels full.

"a few years? that's too long," he whines, "how about now?"

you laughed lightly, "you're cute. if you wanted to taste my cooking, i can just make it for you, y'know?" gojo laid his chin on top of your head and grumbled.

"i want the whole world to taste your cooking," he mutters out.

how sweet of him.

"aren't I your world?" you found yourself spouting out non-sense just to try to avoid the same topic yet again — gojo sensed so, and he didn't push on with it. if he finds you avoiding it, it just meant one thing; you didn't want to talk about it, it wasn't that hard to understand, really.

gojo nodded his head, "good point. you are my world," he laughs lightly, kissing the top of your head, nuzzling his nose into your hair.

if you could see his face right now, you'd be worried. gojo satoru, the strongest, had his brows furrowed and a frown on his face, he was worried about you. a lot. sometimes he just wants to cup your face, give you kisses and tell you that you're the best cook he has ever met, he was pretty damn sure he's heard you saying how you weren't a good cook because you do it as a hobby and not professionally — or along the lines of that.

"satoru, i'm trying to put these kikufuku in the freezer or they'll fall apart," you softly lets his arms go, "you can snack on these later if you're hungry. or maybe you could bring them to the kids too, i made quite a lot."

by kids you meant yuuji, nobara, and megumi. gojo being their teacher also meant you having a lot of meetings with the trio — and they have been nothing but sweet to you, sometimes you find yourself packing food for gojo to bring for them.

"good idea, i'll give it to them so they know how much of a good cook you are. yeah? maybe they'll help me convince you to open your very own restaurant," you laughed lightly, shaking your head at his idea.

gojo puckered his lips out, "if you don't want to open a restaurant then at least let me have one more kikufuku. last one, promise."

you shook your head, putting the tray of kikufuku inside the freezer, "you've had four! you'll get sick," gojo puts his hands on either side of your waist, carrying you to the side so he could make his way to the freezer, "hey!"

"the only thing i'll be getting is a sugar rush, angel."

"oh god, that's even worse than you getting sick," gojo turns his head to look at you, his cerulean eyes narrowed, "i am not taking care of you if you get sick, you hear me?"

gojo arched a brow, "you said that last time, and the only person who stayed by my side the whole entire time was you," he pinched your cheek gently with a large grin, "you'll take care of me, will ya'?"

knowing he was right you let out an exasperated sigh, "you're silly. don't eat more or i'll stop making them for you— i'm just afraid you'll get a sugar rush tonight. don't you remember the last time it happened?"

gojo scratches his nape with a nervous smile. a few weeks ago, you made a big strawberry swiss roll — and the male managed to chow down on it in a matter of hours. late at night, he was wide awake, babbling about how much he loves you and then proceeded to list everything that he loves about you from a to z.

it was quite sweet of him, but still: you needed sleep. as a result, you barely gotten any sleep at all and had to go to work exhausted; although gojo did apologize for his nightly sugar rush, and tried to make it up to you by "cooking" for you, which ended up disastrous as he had gotten distracted by a tv show in the middle of his cooking. no foods were served that night so you both had to get take out.

and you had to throw out your favorite non-stick pan because of that.

you appreciated his effort though (and this time he made it up to you by purchasing a pan set — which he told you was a token of his apology for ruining your favorite pan and for his sugar rush).

"hey, i was showing my love to you. and plus, you got a set of brand new pan because of my sugar rush," gojo defends himself with a smile, leaning onto the kitchen island.

"in an exchange for my exhaustion, i almost passed out at work," he gasps out dramatically.

"why wasn't i informed of that? oh my god, 'm a monster." he talked to himself, which you weren't even surprised of anymore, so you let out a soft chuckle.

"kidding. but no— i'd never like to see or hear your sugar rush anymore, i have work tomorrow. i'll be fine if it's the weekend," i poked his side, walking away.

gojo grabbed your arm, pulling you close, "what if you don't have work tomorrow?"

you arched a brow in confusion, "but i do."

he smiles ever so sweetly that it was starting to get suspicious, "oh, i know! i was just asking, y'know?"

"o...kay then?"

gojo, that slick motherfucker, called your boss and told her you were sick and wouldn't be able to come tomorrow. and so— began the restless night of his episode of sugar rush and just the tenth thousands of "i love you"s from him.

© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE !

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #female reader #gojo fluff #jjk fluff #fluff #jjk x reader

[i-luvsang]

boyfriend headcanons — kang yeosang

pairing : yeosang x gn!reader ➖⟢ genres : fluff!!!➖⟢ cw : unedited, food mentions, you can tell he's my ult heh ➖⟢ wc : 0.5K

⟢ he’s a quiet lover, in the sense that he just slips his hand into yours without a word, a small smile on his face when you turn your head to look at him

⟢ he tries to let his actions speak for the way his heart feels, though he still does his best to voice his love for you, even when it makes him shy on occasion

⟢ and in his quietness, he pays so much attention

⟢ he knows exactly what you need, be it a few sweet words or a kiss to your cheek that makes him smile to himself and blush at the same time

⟢ he knows when you need a cup of water or a drink from one of your favorite cafes, and exactly which drink you want from each place

⟢ he figures out what you want for you birthday just through quiet observations, and he often writes things down in his notes because he can be forgetful sometimes

⟢ yeosang, in his quiet love, makes you feel so seen

⟢ the way his eyes light up when he sees you after a long day or when he places the call for takeout food because he can tell that a phone call would make you more anxious than normal that day

⟢ it’s true that he’s shy sometimes, particularly at the beginning of a relationship, but over time, he becomes very comfortable with you, especially in private

⟢ that’s when he allows himself to get a bit sappy, pouting if you don’t sit close enough on the couch or whispering that he loves you when you carry out a simple habit he finds cute

⟢ so, he does love to have dates in your home, ordering in food or botching up simple recipes in the kitchen (or both when the latter fails)

⟢ he loves to do little crafts with you, giggling about silly mistakes or misshapen products 

⟢ he loves this at home of course, but would certainly love going to craft cafes too; he loves having physical things that represent memories with you

⟢ yeosang also loves being in a relationship where you’re both consciously taking care of each other

⟢ he likes to feel like he’s succeeding at caring for and protecting someone else, and he definitely wants to feel like that person is doing that for him too

⟢ so while he’s quiet as a lover, sometimes even subtle, so that people who aren’t close to you two can misunderstand him to be cold, he’s very purposeful, and very earnest

⟢ to him, it’s very important that he understands you as fully and deeply as he can, and that you do the same for him

⟢ even if he’s shy, he cares about you a lot and is very intent on doing everything he can to have a healthy and incredibly loving relationship

#cromernet #bjnet #yeosang #ateez #kang yeosang #yeosang x reader #ateez yeosang #yeosang boyfriend headcanons #ateez x reader #yeosang imagines #yeosang scenarios #kang yeosang fluff #yeosang headcanons #yeosang reactions #yeosang fluff #yeosang angst #ateez fanfic #ateez fluff #ateez fic #ateez imagines #ateez long fic #ateez angst

[onyourhyuck]

Ultimate Spider-Man: Spider-Mark. | L.MK

— Prologue: “Mark are you— Spider-Man?”

— Summary: Wherein one night you were saved by Spider-Man from a bunch of men harassing you and you find out it’s your enemy all along.

— Genre: Coming Of Age. Romance. Spiderman!mark. Mentions of hero duties. Smut smut smut minors Dni. enemies/rivals to lovers trope. Big dick mark agenda. Mention of getting harassed and attacked on the street. Mark jumps out a building with y/n. Medic students. Y/n is a confident queen. Fingering female receiving. Head receiving female. Spit mention. Breast play. Unprotected sex (wrap your willies pls ty.)

— Notes: Spider Mark fic <3

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Sometimes you hate the fact that you’re craving to be better than everyone around you and you wonder how come your first thought was to crush someone’s inability to be good at something? You blame your academic validation and growing up unloved but that doesn’t give you an excuse to want to be the best student on top of everyone’s graves. However someone was making it difficult.

Mark Lee was the top grader in your classes. Currently you’re both majoring in biology courses which are both to do with medical practices the more you progress within the year — you see it very much upsets you to have Mark get one question right than you or to see him get praised by the professors very much gets under your thin skin you can’t handle it. It doesn’t help that the boy seems genuinely humble and hard working too.

Maybe you’re being petty and so what if you are? No one’s got anything in university other than becoming successful and that’s exactly what your freaking goal is. If you cannot overcome this and defeat Mark in becoming the top student then you haven’t succeeded you’ve failed no matter if you get that damn medical degree.

You are envious of people who are laid back and could relax because they find things easy on the exams or the fact that they aren’t overburden by work. You really don’t understand how you are the one working hard ten times more and somehow they end up scoring good without trying. Maybe you’re different and it’s more of an you problem. But let yourself complain.

Walking down the stairs where many university students were occupied by the buddy next to them unlike you, you’re very much full on ‘social distancing don’t speak to me’ type of person, because you dislike social interactions. You’re here to study not to become buddy friendly with other students here and get distracted from your goal. In your hands you carried your workload books for studying that you wrote your class notes in. You don’t dare waste any detail out you honestly dote down everything the professors say in hope it will give you extra markings when the exams come.

Your eyes caught glimpse on a younger boy your age with coloured-hair that irks your eyes wherever you are it was impossible to miss them, skin full of melanin that the sun reflects onto it, beauty marks on specific places that could make someone weak to the knees. Your brain took in so much information at once that you didn’t even need it to confirm who it was, you simply just knew who it were coming up the stairway catching your attention’s breathe.

The man stops on the way up when the eyes walked to your direction stopping midway. You were the complete opposite direction but still all the attention went to you as if you were attracting it away from him without doing anything too much. The friend next to him stops, they were speaking but seeing how their friend went quiet to look over at you, they stop on the tracks as well and go quiet.

Mark feels like he was about to be eaten in a lion den with the way you’re watching him with your epiphany disgust. “Oh hey y/n. You off to study the new sheet professor Ahn gave us?” You hate how his voice was friendly and polite to you even though you’re both aware of your deep surrounding rivalry and dislike each others feelings.

“Yeah unlike you clearly.” You shot downwards raising suspicion that Mark was probably slacking off entirely. “You don’t look like you’re going to be studying it for tomorrow’s test.” You scorn. Mark’s eyes travel around as he tries to figure out how to use the information to you. Mark’s hands slipped in the front pockets and that smirk widens.

“I’ve already done the work, actually.” He said matter-of-factly as he saw the burning fire in your eyes. He was always ten steps ahead of you, always, it annoys you. No, actually it fucking angers you. Mark had the audacity to put it in your face because he was glad to see you near-wanting to murder him but he knew you wouldn’t. You’re just trying not to show how much it bothers you.

Your lips fell into a thin line that could seriously harm someone if they got too close, like it was a sword laying flat offensively ready to jab the heart of Mark Lee and fully discard it. Your voice scowls out to the storing area. “Shove off Mark.” You say trying to get past him and his friend, Donghyuck but the boys were blocking your pathway until your shoulders jumped each other roughly.

You leave them on the stairway and Mark turns around following you with a serious gaze. His shoulders clicked the moment you reached your destination with it and your shoulders were bumping roughly.

Donghyuck shakes his head. “Y/n and her bitchy attitude always on your case Mark Lee.” It was unbelievable how much you’re ready and willing to ruin his friends day. Mark on the other hand shrugs sighing. “Truth hurts sometimes.” He quotes. Donghyuck laughs following Mark from behind as they continue going uphill the stairs. “Your entire fucking existences hurts Y/n. It’s kind of funny to watch.”

The boys were trailing off to the distance and you were on your own once again. The location to your next finding was the café down the road. It was out of campus bounds but it was really the only place that you could relax and stay as much as you want because the owner of the café lets you stay there for extra timings whenever you need to do your serious revision. Sometimes being inside the school building was more of a destructive distraction than a place where you could focus and learn. It’s ironic really knowing some students aren’t as serious as you, but no harm done you found your own element where you can relax and become more active in studying.

The new work sheet that Mark has spoken about with you made you rethink how quick he must’ve figured this one out. For you it took a few minutes expending to an hour. It was a difficult question that has different interpretations than what you are looking for meaning it was a no right or wrong answer — but it really made it difficult too.

Somehow you struggle forming your own opinion of it because it doesn’t matter what you think you’re more of a ‘There is one answer wrong and one is correct, pick the right one’ type of person. You’re not here to analyse you’re here to get the right one so you are ensured to be correct.

You suck on your bottom teeth, watching the paper. “This freaking riddle… I can’t stand this type of questions. They’re always beating around the bush.” You complain. You can’t bring yourself to made a hypothesis like this about, so you close the book when you huff out.

The owner of the café seeing you blow rough air underneath your face made them look over seeing you struggle to come with an answer to the work question.

“You okay there miss?” The man said with a look grasping at you where you sat on the table locating near the window. You look up at where the voice was pointing from.

The man with blonde hair and glasses on, holding with both palms a table cloth and water spray bottle. Seemingly they were cleaning up from previous customers who dine at the café before they left.

Your eyes linger on the man who was surprisingly quite handsome. He looked way older than you but he was hella charismatic enough to leave you thinking he were a musician or a model with the face he’s got. “Ah yes. Just revisiting previous work because of upcoming exams.” You explain looking back at the paper and then at the man.

Taeyong’s mouth forms a large ‘Oh?’ as he comes forward trading on the table he shows a gentle smile seeing how you must be an university student. You even had a bunch of notes on the side and your bag was on the other chair sitting on it there. It really reminds him of past him when he was a student stressed with Uni work to the point he considered dropping out — nearly.

“What are you studying if i can ask you?” Taeyong would ask pointing the daggers at the sheets. You would spare the man a short glance. “Biology and Medicine. It’s a combined effort course.” You’d explain as your mind moves to the question.

He was impressed seeing how well you were handling this subject he knows many medical students who tell people it’s so difficult it left them mentally drained out — half looking corpses even. But you? You had a bright face and a good smile. You seem like you know what you’re doing but at the same time you don’t get the pressure get to you.

“You must be smart. I heard that courses to do with medicine related require a high dropping rate.”

You smirk eyeing Taeyong up and down. “Yeah well… I try my hardest to stay on the top of the list.” The owner sensed a little arrogance but it wasn’t necessary a bad thing when it came now. You’re proud and that’s it. “What did you study then?” You ask suddenly.

Taeyong’s eyes travel around the café as he walks away to clean more tables and as he did this you watch him wipe down more of the white round tables with the cloth while he sprays the cleaning spray bottle on it.

“Me? I went to university to study a little bit of languages.” Your eyes widen as you spoke over. “Whoa languages? You must be more of a genius than i am then.”

Taeyong scoffs. “Trust me. I can barely speak the language we’re speaking in right now. I wish though. Now I’m just a simple café owner.”

It was nice knowing that Taeyong lives the life he feels comfortable and the happiest in even though it wasn’t exactly an easy path when he was younger, in university trying to learn languages and hopefully become a translator with a good paying job. But now even if he wasn’t making that much money he was happy that he got to open up this café in this first place; it was like a new beginning, a new opportunity has risen into his life trying to show him a way to live. And the man took it. It made you think about yourself and how your life is looking currently.

Even the smallest person you think of can change the course of the future.

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The road is midnight under the cloud, yet beyond is the dawn. You’re walking through the tunnel trying to make sense of the starry painting above as the sun has set a long ago. its rising is alternating between the times, it was too late and you left the café now. Taeyong has kept you company by speaking with you giving the courage who wait in faith for your upcoming exams. And so, even though you left happier and refreshed it dimmers down the minute you were alone. Walking with your hands cold and shuddering inside the pockets of your hoodie. You didn’t bring a jacket with you, it was quite warm in the day and suddenly the night made it freezing as if it were a course of the winter.

Sometimes you rather think the forecasts have it out for the weather. It’s too bipolar to even consider.

The bag slipped on your singular right shoulder resting there with its long beige straps. It was a tote bag enough to hold your university stuff as well as a laptop if you wanted to bring it along. It can hold textbooks and even some clothing if you wished to bring them in or with you anywhere. It was conscientious convenient that these bags exist without them you’d be stuck with a stuffed school bag having to drag it on your poor back. You’d imagine the back pain to be a hassle.

Nonetheless you were spacing through the tunnel and then making your way out. You’d take the route from the café to the park late at night. There was a long tunnel you have to pass through from the streets and under it you go through revealing the large park pathway. The dark green grass sticking out and the trees around you occasionally watch out of boredom.

Your hands were under your waistband area holding in one palm your phone. It has probably thirty percentage left on it. You reckon you’d stay longer in the café if only your portable charger wasn’t out of battery. It leaves you with only one choice to leave and head back to your apartment.

The park was closed away from the people, normal residents were asleep at this time and only the people working night shifts were roaming but not inside the park. You thought you were the only one, until in the far distance you saw a group huddling the path from the far. Right now it was far too away to tell what the men were doing so you didn’t think anything of it.

Your apartment was close by the university and slightly far away from the café and the park you’re strolling down through. If you had to make a guess it would only take twenty minutes by foot to make it back to your home.

‘Just what on earth was happening over there?’ You can’t help but come closer taking a look at the crowd. It was a bunch of men beating down another man.

They sent down a panic alert to your spine and you rush forward when the men turn to notice your presence approaching. Big wrong move because you’re now having fullest attention brought to you, a young woman alone in a dark part trying to get by, looking like you were trying to disturb them from teaching a young guy a lesson.

The man with a ragged tooth was the most interested in you. He showed the more intrusive thoughts of you. He found you quite charming with the way you rushed into a dangerous situation without a single thought.

“Yah! Leave that man alone. He is bleeding. You’ll kill him at that rate.” You scream but kept a promising distance still but enough for you to have a view of what they did to the poor boy.

He was coughing out blood on the floor trying to get up but whenever he brought the strength to do something the men surrounding him looking like gangsters were ready to kick his back down forcing him to be flat on the ground, defenceless and unable to move. You couldn’t stand watching something this cruel and gruesome, heck the sight of blood was too much for you to take, you hate seeing blood. It freaks you out and to see another man bleeding near-to-death really ruins you up with anxiety.

The man cackled at your reactions, you can’t help but think they might be on the psychopath side more than the humane. It wasn’t normal to be this cruel. “You can join us how about that?” The man was taking steps to you and the minute you tried to run back showing your phone. “I will call the police if you take another step forward!” You threaten them.

It didn’t work.

You weren’t sure why you thought it would work. The men in front of you look like they don’t care for consequences, so why would they care for police? Your threats were pushed aside just like you were grabbed with your wrist throwing you on the ground discarding your phone you drop it. The man crawling above you made sure your wrists were straddling both ways in his hands.

Then you look over to the man. Your brain soon realised you’re being crowded by not one man but now you were cradled by multiple men — all together they were ten men guarding you with a demonic look on their faces you can’t explain. It felt like a dark power within them that scared you.

You were gripped so hard you can’t avoid their slimy hands that touched your hair, finding it super soft and beautiful, the others tried the best to sneak their way to your clothing but you were squirming and screaming. Heck you even tried to bite them off literally!

The man laying on the floor saw you becoming their target and he ran away for it. You widen your eyes watching him run away. ‘That bastard! He ran away!’ You can’t believe it, you literally tried to save him!

The minute you thought you were doomed, the men were practically near to ready to strip you off the clothes. Your blouse was coming undone with the ribbon knot coming off revealing your collarbones and then you clench your eyes screaming. “SOMEONE HELP ME, ANYONE.”

You prayed, you really did. You’re not even a religious person anyways but you prayed for you to be safe and saved by someone. The minute you thought you died you were welcomed to see a man flying across the park, thrown with a kick and flying so many yards it was inhuman for a normal person to kick someone in the air so far with such speed and precision. Your eyes widen trembling at who this new person coming in, it felt like a new predator ready to eat you and the gangsters men who near-harassed yourself. You couldn’t tell if he was helping you or if he was ready to kill you too. The men were distracted by the new force encouraging them to fight.

Yourself you felt a shiver down your spine. No one saw the person who was assassinating them in the darkness it’s as if they were the darkness itself. You felt too exposed meanwhile you trying to track the invisible force targeting the enemies were one by one dropping like freaking flies over here.

It scared you, scared you because you might be the next fly who drops dead.

“Where is that bastard coming from?!” One man yelled out loud.

“Woohoo, here piggy!” A voice suddenly called out causing them to turn around to see a hanging man on a tree floating by a spiderweb. Your eyes itch on what you saw.

The man thrown a punch the minute he saw the red man only to get a headbutt falling unconscious with a possible broken nose.

He unlatch from the tree. The spiderweb retracting back into the hands and he begins to walk on the park pathway you were laying there onto. The last man standing was behind you grabbing you up getting out a knife to your neck which made you confused, everything was so quick happening in just a span of zero point five you can’t figure out how you’re now held against a knife to your throat. You felt your oxygen pressure levels rising and you could no longer breathe.

The figure that was outlined disappeared and you can’t help but close your eyes murmuring prayers. “Please God help me, I’m sorry for not doing enough good for this world! I swear I’ll be a changed woman if i live…”

You can’t believe yourself you’re literally praying out loud. The man clench the blade to your throat and suddenly a warm liquid drops down on it. Your eyes widen as you felt the scar incoming. Your own blood slowly dripping down the blade and the man’s wrist too on the park ground.

“Shut up, or I will slice your throat.”

You take a mental note shutting up instantly, but then a thrust of wind blows you off the ground and your eyes shut down seeing blackness till you’re feeling two muscular arms pull you up and your clothing blew on the cold air sliding on your body. You felt the chest brush on your skin and you look up opening one eye, slowly opening your second eye, shocked to see spiderman has come back to save you. You, the person who was supposed to be in another man’s arms with a knife to your throat.

The spiderman came round with a web attaching to a tree flinging back with his legs doing a round house kick knocking the man over unconscious and the knife into the air landing somewhere on the grassy land. You couldn’t help but stay mesmerised he was holding you while fighting the bad guy?

What can he not do?

Your body was in the air as Spider-Man kept his hand on your body never letting you go. He swung with one muscular hand with a spider web between the buildings. He spoke to you breaking the silence, but didn’t look you into the eye, you were the one staring at him all this freaking time panicking deep inside. “Where do you live I’ll drop you off there.” He asked you firmly but you were here pausing for a long silence.

He wasn’t sure why you were so quiet until you break out of your long thoughts making you so absent minded it was out of your character.

“I- live in…” you nearly forgot where you lived you couldn’t believe it. The Spider-Man wanted to laugh seeing you so confused and lost while trying to figure out your tongue when to speak.

“There in that apartment block.” You simply move your hands pointing to the building.

Without a reply you were brought inside the building dropping you off by your door where spiderman stood still seeing your feet latch on the ground once again. Your clothing were on your body but your blouse was undone and Spider-Man occasionally avoided looking at you and instead he found the ground rather more interesting — you wanted to ask him to look at you so you could thank him but you soon realise what the problem was.

You loudly stutter out. “O-oh shit…” you grumble turning around fixing the buttons on your blouse. He turns to you again. “You’re not hurt right?”

The question was something you weren’t even sure if you were physically hurt or mentally hurt? How do you answer a question you don’t know how to answer.

You were going to say no but your hands suddenly rub down your neck and you brought it back to your view seeing blood on your palm from where you touched your neck on. Your eyes widen and you look back at the man in front of you, covered in a disguise. You weren’t sure who you were even speaking to — in reality it’s awful discomfiting how much you feel safer with a man in a fucking suit than people who don’t wear a disguise.

“I’ll be oka—“

He grabbed your wrist so softly you felt like he was cautiously careful with you. You had no choice but to come forward and love your neck to the side so he can get a full access view of the little cut on your neck from how hard that man was bruising the knife blade to your skin. You felt his hand caress the wound with his free hand and he looks at your apartment door pulling away from your neck.

He wanted to think ‘you’re not okay, you’re far from it.’ He can’t help but think why on earth were you out there so late and don’t you realise how dangerous the world is? He prays to God you realise and take notes from this situation to not make it repeat itself like old history. You saw the man look at your apartment door and letting your wrist go, you retract it back down holding it yourself.

“Can you invite me inside your apartment so i can tend to your neck wound? I cant leave it untreated.” He was so strict and stern, you wonder if he does this to everyone he saves.

‘He probably has to do this. It’s his job, Y/n.’

You couldn’t refuse the offer because two things: one he was doing his job and he probably had no choice but to treat you, and two, you want to repay him for saving your ass somehow. You were reckless today and thanks to your kind actions all you got was nearly being killed.

So much for being selfless, that man who was beaten up left you to die. He saved himself and he didn’t save you at all.

“Sure come in.” You open the apartment door unlocking it with your keys. Both entering a dark apartment you dimly lit the lamp over so you can see roaming the apartment that wasn’t too small nor too big it was probably a good spacious space for a single student studying down the road. This apartment was the only thing you could afford thankfully your parents gave you enough money to pay for this renting it.

Luckily you sometimes work down the library doing volunteering and you happen to get paid that way too. It pays a good amount of money that you allows you to pay the upcoming month’s rent.

Not like it matters you’re almost done with university, almost there you just have to ‘defeat’ Mark Lee with your grade paper by scoring higher and bam; you’ll be satisfied with your hard longing work and you will get your results and degree.

The man coming inside your apartment saw the opportunity to look around your apartment by letting his eyes wander. It was a nice cozy apartment. The couch was leather black and you had a decently size tv on the wall attached. The windows were large letting enough sunlight if it was day but since it’s night currently the only light source was the lamp.

He saw you coming back after hearing you rummage through your kitchen getting the first aid kit out and seeing you walk over he was sitting down on the couch letting you sit next to him. You were both silent until you let your mouth open.

You had so much questions, so many answers you were looking for, but he couldn’t answer them. He wanted to let you to not take it to heart.

He wanted to but he couldn’t answer them.

“Thank you for saving me…” you say softly as you saw the man in the suit sitting in front of you looking like he knew what he was doing exactly, you couldn’t believe it he knew how to professionally apply disinfectant on a cotton pad, he knew how to handle stitches too and he knew what to use on an open bleeding wound.

It shouldn’t surprise you, but you found yourself wondering how come he moved like a medical student?

His deep voice hit you like a train. “It’s my job. You don’t have to thank me for anything.” He goes quiet for a minute when applying the burning cotton pad on your wound rubbing it in stripping motion. You flinch and he saw you bite on your bottom lip at the burning dent on your neck.

It was a stinging sensation you couldn’t fight.

He spoke again trailing at one thought he was wondering all this night ever since saving you. “Why were you out this late anyways? Don’t you know bad guys are out on about the streets at night.” He was almost scolding you but you couldn’t help it when finding it was kind of comforting to have someone care for you. Even though you’ve never met them before.

“I am a busy uni student. I have my priorities to become the best of my class.” You state firmly, somehow stunning the man bearing you to say that you’d rather do everything in your power to succeed.

Somehow he felt your perfectionism and determination inspiring.

“I can’t let Mark Lee get a higher score than me.” You mutter suddenly out thinking back to the boy in your class who just boils your blood by being perfect.

You look away but you felt your throat clench when seeing his face come closer to clean it with another clean cotton pad letting the wound sink and dry no longer becoming a dry blood mess. He was making sure your neck was clean and not just tending to your wound, meanwhile cleaning he checked the rest of your body by quickly scooping with his eyes checking for any more casualties. “I don’t know why i got involved. I did an altruistic thing to someone and look where it got me.”

You scowl out scoffing with irony in your throat. This is why you prefer not being kind to people because this ends up later on. You get hurt in return.

“So much for being altruistic my ass.” You grumble.

You heard the man chuckle deeply shaking his head. He found it quite hard to believe you got involved to protect someone but at the same time there was a humane side to you where you do care. He puts the first aid equipment back into the box and closed it for you indicating he was done.

“Well you’d rather study your brain off so late to the point you could nearly get murdered? You must be the brightest student your school has.” It was a compliment melting your heart and you felt exposed and embarrassed. You can’t believe you rented to him about Mark Lee, your obsession with your grades and now your current near to death experience.

He saw your flustered expression as you gently laugh it off under your breathe, it was the softest laugh, the laugh you can’t hear but barely your ears could hear a glimpse of it in the longing air distance between your bodies.

“I’m sure you can beat that guy Mark Lee at your exams. I believe in you.”

The first time someone said they believe in you. Your heart couldn’t take such words in at first until your brain duly processed them and proclaim them to be true. It felt like a lie but in reality it was truth spoken from the heart deep inside the saviour who risked their life and time to keep you safe and protected. You smile, unconcealed by your frown or the usual expression you wear. You smiled from your heart and not from your logical perspective self.

You grumble. “Hate to break it to you but I don’t think i can because tomorrow we have this test and i don’t have a written answer for the question we are answering tomorrow.”

You pull the sheet out from your bag that you nearly forgot back into the park thankfully, your saviour has grasped it for you. The sheet of paper was placed in front of the man and you.

You sigh out wanting to pull your freaking hair out of your head because you couldn’t find or come up with an answer to this question.

He read it aloud. “What other medications could you provide to a patient who is diagnosed with a non-ST elevation myocardial infarction?” You look at him from the side humming.

“Meaning you have to make your own hypnosis as to why you’re picking this medication and what will you do once you give him it and what furthermore will you proceed.” You sigh out. “I don’t do well with questions like this and honestly i can only think of one medicine. But you can’t use this one. It has to be other medications and methods used.”

You weren’t expecting anything from the man sitting down but the minute you saw him grabbing a pencil from the table that was lying about randomly he starts writing a diagram for you to see on the sheet and your eyes widen at what you’re seeing written down within the same time space. Your thoughts about the man being a professional medic was now coming back and you were so convinced with the way he was giving you an explanation that he was something close to your subject.

Heck maybe he was a doctor who the fuck knows?

“Here,”

He puts the pencil down now facing you again. “You can use enoxaparin for the patient’s medication with a side of dual anti platelet treatment and resistance that way they will be able to get a higher chance of recovery.”

It’s the way he explained this to you and you finally had a light bulb moment it literally felt like it. He opened your eyes to an answer and you face the man in a spiderman suit. If you’re being honest you weren’t expecting spiderman to be helping you with your exam answer for tomorrow so you could pass heck you weren’t even sure if this was real. It felt like a fever dream being saved by a superhero while you were still stressing with work and now he was helping you with your school work.

You stutter out reading the whole planned out section that you could do in your exam. “Wait… how— how did you know that you can use enoxaparin for a patient with a non-ST elevation myocardial infarction.”

But the minute you turned to look around to your side to see the man in the suit disguised becoming a whole enigma to your existence he was gone no longer next to you as if he vanished from thin air and you held your breathe.

Looking around the apartment helplessly.

Your eyes land back to the sheet paper holding eye contact with the handwriting and rub your fingers on them.

‘Just who are you, Spiderman?’

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The freshman passing to get to their classes made you wonder if you would ever miss these classes and traffics on your way to get to them, you’d have to say no. You can’t wait to graduate and leave this hell joke because freshman are truly the most annoying grade you’ve ever encountered.

On your way to the great hall where everyone in your class was seated ready to do the test ahead. You spent your whole night writing an hypnosis and memorising it so you could re write it on the real exam paper.

As you walk to your seat you bump into a boy you’ve not been looking forward to meeting, again. “Mark move out my way you’re blocking my seat.” You are complaining this early in the morning? How do you have the energy to do this.

Mark can’t help but not argue back it’s been so early in the morning he doesn’t even want to hear you and your disgraceful attitude to constantly get on his case. You push through his seat and sit down the same lane but only three seats away from him. Mark was asleep resting on the table but you were revising and re reading your notes meanwhile he was sleeping. You can’t help but think he’s being incredibly rude by not taking this as seriously as you and everyone else in this hall.

From every corner there was a medical student looking back on to their notes, so why wasn’t he? Even if you’re so tired you can’t move, you should at least try to look like you’re doing something.

You murmur under your breathe. “So much for showing off. If you wish to sleep you shouldn’t of come at all.”

‘He’s so unbearable.’ You complain.

The boy lifts his head up. You notice the fleek of his blue-ish silver alike hair was messy almost as if he didn’t even try to brush it yet he made it look super good despite being the normal bed hair.

He shots at you trotting back with the same energy and attitude as you. If you’re going to be insufferable he might as well match your horrible words too. “Mind your own business and focus on your own work.”

He grits his teeth at you. “I ain’t the one who constantly gets a point lesser than the work I’ve submitted.” He stalls. “Starting to think you’re a bitch by default.”

You stop watching him completely bite back and chew you open and then, just to chew you up again and spit you out into the bin like you’re nothing but rotten gooey mess that cannot be digested.

You didn’t reply but you can’t help but find Mark to be incredibly off the edge today and the minute the professor came in handing out the test papers the game was on. Your brains were on the A game trying to answer with much detail to the question everyone should’ve been revising yesterday. You remember that last night Spiderman has helped you and you were taking his advice with a mix of your own method process to make it your own work too. You felt confident now and unlike before, you’d actually think you might finally have a good hypothesis —better than Mark Lee’s.

The exam surprisingly went well however and you and Mark were both left in the hall finishing up the last touches. You finished before Mark only by twenty minutes until he came running his eyes behind you seeing you walk away with a proud smug.

Your paths disconnected. You walked away but unlike then you realised you forgot your own phone and airpods on the desk.

“Shit!”

You ran back going up the stairs in hurry and then forcing your way back into the hall you open the door wifely. The professor was out of bounds for a little bit only leaving Mark walking out of the lane but you bump into him suddenly knocking his stuff out of the arms and he looks at you.

He was staring you down in disbelief finding this incredibly annoying. He founds you super annoying today and he doesn’t know why or what. He can’t put his fingers on why you keep getting in his way.

You look away glaring. “Ugh watch where you’re going Lee.” You grumble going down on your knees lifting his stuff up. Hey at least you’re helping him.

Mark sighs grabbing his back and pen off the floor meanwhile you grab his piece of exam sheet he’s written loads on. But your eyes caught onto something similar and your brain suddenly flickers like you’ve connected a dot to another dot.

enoxaparin and Dual anti pallet?

You couldn’t believe it but the same handwriting and the same words you’ve heard from last night it really struck you until a harsh arm reaches out grabbing it out of your fingers glaring at you.

Mark looks at your dazed expression grumbling. “Hope you’re not cheating by being nosey Hm?” He side tracks pushing past you putting his exam paper on the pile with the rest of them and then going back up the stairs leaving through the door .

You held your gaze at him grabbing your phone and airpods running after the boy suddenly, suddenly you’re looking for an answer for your conspiracy theory.

‘There’s no way he’s spiderman, there’s no way!’

You caught him outside walking out the campus and down the road you’ve seen Mark stop turning around to see you shouting his name on top of your lungs. You catch your breathe, he saw the bright red colour on your cheeks from simply running after him all the way from the campus Uni to the freaking city roads. Mark raised an eyebrow judging why you’re following him when in reality — you wanted answers you seek so badly.

You want to wish you’re wrong. Your enemy cannot be your saviour that you are thankful for.

It makes this whole situation stupid on yourself. If you’re the one being fooled, god you don’t know what you’d do.

“Mark are you— Spider-Man?”

You ask him panting out heavily catching your legs before straightening upwards your body. The way your gaze fell apart the minute Mark raised his eyes up in surprise at your assumption.

Mark didn’t know why he couldn’t say no to you.

He wasn’t even sure why you’re catching onto him and if you are he wants to know how.

Somehow, you knew from his gaze. His gaze alone gave you an answer.

Mark grabs your wrist suddenly pulling you away. “What makes you say that, Y/n?” He was seriously asking you now and you were terrified wondering what he’s about to do.

He grabbed your wrist leading you up to a rooftop on a building that wasn’t even locked. The lock in the door was broken letting anyone walk up there for a long view of Seoul city and you’ve never felt more terrified of heights until now.

The boy from your class, your enemy and rival, the one you despise pushed you to the railings of the building staring into your eyes. His eyes were filled with tension and fear wondering what you’ll do if you find out his truth. His secret he’s kept from even his family.

Heck you weren’t sure what you’d do yourself if it was true.

“Wait why are we here?” You blabber out suddenly. Why the rooftop?

Mark ignored your requested question and simple puts the bag down and his shoes off. Your eyes widen as you saw Mark now trailing over the freaking railing of the rooftop standing on the edge and your mouth drops down thousand pieces before you knew it you shouted for him to stop.

“Wait- Mark holy fuck what are you doing!!” You slowly approach him and Mark turns to you making you stop with a single look at you.

He paused looking down at the heights above. It was fifteen stories high, maybe even more fox knows what. You couldn’t believe what Mark was doing and you felt like you were pressured into doing something to save your freaking enemy.

He spoke so seriously and sternly. “You asked me if I’m spiderman,” he looks at you again. “What do you think is the correct answer, Y/n?”

You weren’t sure.

If anything you were going based on your instinct and the handwriting you saw last night. It looked identical to the one Mark wrote on the exam paper today. It just made you think maybe it was him.

But now that Mark was standing on the railings looking like he was about to jump any minute you weren’t fucking sure. You’re contemplating. Second guessing your answer.

Conflicting information accounts your reality.

“Answer.” He demands shouting at you.

Seeing you flinch like you’re freezing and terrified to death he could see you shout back just as much at him.

“Yes! Okay! I think you’re fucking spider-man who saved me last night.”

And that is when your heart sank like it was drowning in between the seven seas completely squished between the contracting waves and the black hole draining you to a drift mark between your only breath of hope. As your heart broke down you could feel yourself dropping down after Mark. You crawled down the railings and jumped down right after the boy trying to grab his hand. He was dropping fast from each floor story —

15…

14…

13…

By the time you knew it you’re linking past two digits into singular and Mark opens his eyes widening seeing you drop down to grab him. ‘You’re so stupid…’ he couldn’t help but find your way down with him recklessly looking on you. For someone who’s so smart you have a way of becoming irrational.

You thought you were going to die until Mark grabbed you suddenly by your hands interlocking them. As he held your hand so tightly you felt your entire world swoosh open like an upside tennis ball on an open court. A huge spiderweb as connected you back to the rooftop that you jumped out off in the first lane.

Mark carried you over the railings as you were shaking gasping out for breath because he took it away.

You nearly doubted him being spiderman, because the only reason you jumped down was to save him knowing he was spiderman.

You fell to your knees holding your chest. Mark follows your outline silhouette of your hourglass and you glare looking at him.

“I’m not sure if you’re fucking dumb or if you enjoy being in dangerous situations.”

He seethes between his teeth harshly.

“Me dumb?” You repeated. You wanted to laugh for a minute at his audacity. You’re not the one who jumped down a flight of fifteen stories because you wanted to prove something to someone.

He was suddenly hit by hit hand against his chest. “You fucking— psycho!”

“Okay I deserve that.” He states understanding why you’re exactly cursing him.

Mark saw you curse him in long strings of words and shouts he couldn’t tell which one it was — words or freaking lyrics to a Kanye west song?

“What the fuck was your motive for this.”

“I didn’t know if i could trust you with my identity.” He sores out and you face him with your gaping mouth.

“So you think jumping down fifteen stories and me jumping after you will make you trust me? What’s fucking wrong with you— Y’know what you need to be put into a psych ward.” You blast. “There’s a thing called communication, Mark Lee!”

“Right…”

Mark looks at you finally calming down as you reclaimed your oxygen inside your deprived body it felt like the whole adrenaline was hunting you down. The boy came to an conclusion that you were one of a kind — no one would jump for their enemy or even an academic rival you wish to destroy. But you did it.

He wants to know how you caught him too, but he could take a guess.

“Question Y/n—“

“Hm?” You hum out softly turning around and the boy stops speaking as your calm and relaxed eyes rest on him.

You weren’t looking at him like you want to hate him in fact you were just looking at him without a singular emotion except perhaps, a hint of gladness maybe?

You could feel Mark’s breath returning. “How’d you find out I’m… spiderman.”

You’d smirk. “Your handwriting.”

He sighs out. “Dammit. I knew that would be a problem.” You laugh a little knowing he must feel slightly caught but lucky for him you aren’t going to expose him.

He did save you, you owe him that much.

“Hey Mark?”

Mark looks up at you finally catching a whiff of your hair scent when the air blows behind your head and your back. He couldn’t smell anything else but a hint of your watermelon and strawberry shampoo. It made him somehow feel better about it, knowing it was such a pleasant smell.

You smile at him. “Wanna come to my apartment and start anew?” You couldn’t help but think maybe you and Mark could become friends.

He saved you, even though you treated him like badly because of wanting to be better than him.

He could photosnap a picture of your smile like this if he was honest. He would. “Sure Y/n.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It’s crazy how much the dynamic between you wanting to ram Mark Lee’s face into a wall every morning whenever you’re on the way to your class to now actually cooking with Mark Lee in your apartment kitchen casually making ramen together.

You weren’t sure how you got here.

But let’s not question it, you thought.

Mark casually chops spring onion into thin slices as you drain the ramen out the water and then slowly put them into two bowls: one for you and one for mark.

Mark sees you opening the sauce packets and pour the sauce over the noodles in the bowls. He brings out the chopsticks and walks to the fridge humming.

“Now let’s see what drinks you have in the fridge.” He’d look inside the fridge and he sees the options looking very sad and bleak.

He looks at you from the side. “Really? No juice except for water?”

You thinly smile. “If you’re going to complain how about you buy yourself juice down the store.”’

He rolls his eyes as you blatantly throw a sarcastic threat that wasn’t very, sarcastic at the same time. He grabs the cold iced water out the fridge slamming the door and walking over pouring it into one cup. He passed you it and you look up.

“For me?” You let out taking it. “Thanks. You’re not so bad as i thought.”

Mark raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He laughs.

You shrug smirking grabbing the bowl to take it inside the living room. The boy follows you from behind with his very own plate of the noodles in and you put the tv on letting it play in the background.

As you guys ate in peace occasionally you guys spoke asking each other questions about the most random things.

It started off asking about the weirdest thing that happened to you.

You both answered each other, guess it was fate?

“I really envied you Mark.” You boost as you dig your chopsticks into the ramen eating. Mark couldn’t really understand how you can envy him, but he always had a feeling you were out to destroy him for whatever reason.

You guess he now knows how you truly felt. You were filled with jealousy and hate because he in your eyes was probably the most perfect person out. The ideal student. The ideal son. The ideal husband for a woman. You kinda grew a sour taste in your mouth ever since meeting him but you feel now perhaps it could be a sweeter one where you don’t have to actively hate each other.

Mark sat there watching you eat but he really doesn’t know how you could be there envying him when you are there sitting looking effortlessly pretty on the face overall eating ramen, at home while you’re equally smart too.

“Do you need help with that?”

He would ask pointing to the hair that keeps falling down into your food everytime you lower your face to take a bite from the chopsticks. You were caught by surprise when Mark’s hands moves closer rolling up your long hair around his fists like a ponytail and lets you take a clean bite on the ramen. You chew happily smiling and Mark felt a sort of happiest seeing you eat with a wide smile.

You look back at him seeing how he stayed still holding your hair in his hands, rolling it up so nicely. You never told him to do that, but he did it anyways.

You guess it must be the side effect of being a worldwide super hero. You have to help others without asking.

Your eyes take a moment to appreciate Mark up close. It’s a rare moment given, so you didn’t waste time taking all the small details about his handsome face.

Yes, he is handsome. You have to give him that.

Mark saw the way your eyes fell on his lips and then back to his eyes going in a circle trying to see where you can look. It’s like you can’t keep a straight eye contact with him at the same time, you don’t have to look at his lips to be obvious.

It wasn’t long till his deep timber voice brought you back to reality where your bodies closeness was still there awaiting for sign movement. “Earth to Y/n?” He softly chuckles seeing you break apart.

You look up at him. “You zoned out on me Y/n.” He beams lightly watching you put the chopsticks down. You clear your throat.

“Sorry.” You reply with a smile, your attention goes back onto Mark no matter what. He’s a magnet for your eyes.

“Must be my handsome face distracting you.” It was a joking quote but little did he know it was exactly why you’re zoning out. Because of his handsome face and you weren’t sure how to reply until you’d roll your eyes over scoffing out as if that could ever happen.

You hum. “So you’re crazy and delusional.” You quote back and Mark smirks turning to you giving you a little nudge.

“All the best people are, honey.” He throws.

You sometimes wonder how did he get such quick comebacks for everything you’ve got to say it’s like he’s a complete generator ready and made to defeat you at every word on the end.

He has to have the last word.

“Honey?” You said back surprised to know he used such a given nickname.

He looks at you smiling as he ate more of the ramen. You felt your cheeks grew slightly pink.

‘Honey.’ You repeated.

Your attentions were soon moved to another conversation you two ended up bringing in and it was about your class. Of course the thing you’re both seriously insane about and you could tell this would be a whole war between you two.

But somehow this was different at the same time it wasn’t too. You both were disagreeing and debating argument but now you are talking with it like normal people. You’re not avoiding him.

Mark enjoys seeing you debate with him.

He loves a good challenge and a different point of view too.

“Right so you’re telling me you’d rather be in surgery than a cataract operation?” Mark couldn’t believe you’d rather chose the most stressful option of the day, he was leering at you shaking his head.

An operation leaves you more free loaded work to do meanwhile surgery can go wrong many ways because it has more people involved.

You strain out. “Of course. Surgery is more important than an operation.”

“So you’d take one for the team no matter what the outcome is?”

You shrug. “I either come out as a hero or come out as a failure.” You smirk out. “But we both know I only take wins so, I will never come out as a failure.”

You’re too much of a perfectionist to come out as a failure surgeon in a surgery.

“You’re too confident for your own good.” He stated with a laughter and you smirk watching Mark. “Of course i am. What is there about me that’s not good?”

For a minute Mark was told to look at you trying to figure out a flaw but he could not. He trails down capturing every little figure detail on your face which made his heart skip a beat and he wore it on his sleeve when he answers you truthfully, staring at your lips beginning to list out your features like he was drunk on them.

“You have perfect kissable lips, beautiful eyes…” he stops himself halfway through, he wanted to compliment your hands, saying how easy they fit into his when that night he held you.

“I have kissable lips?” You blurt out.

Mark awkwardly pauses looking away. God he shouldn’t of said that.

“No- I mean- yes— wait god no. What am I saying.”

You move closer and he flinches at your sudden movement pulling the man closer your mouth closes the gap and he can feel your lips slowly kissing him enough to give Mark the confidence for his arms to slowly wrap them underneath your body lifting you falling. He falls back on the couch with you on top kissing him with so much powerful he had no idea you were feeling this way, he felt your emotions, every bit and one of them. The kiss spoke a million words that you wanted to say with your voice but couldn’t. Mark’s hands caress down your back roaming under your shirt feeling your warmth body than they slip down groping your ass.

You press harder into the kiss you share with the man underneath you when he grabbed it giving it a tight squeeze on your round and perfect shape ass. He could die from how perfect your body is, a hourglass that could leave him dead on the train tracks. He loves every inch of you it’s to die for.

His voice strains past the red lips achingly adding. “God you’re fucking perfect, Y/n.” You loved hearing him moan from just a single kiss.

You’d wonder what noises he’d made once he’s inside you, you were craving to know.

You were stressing on his lap freely trying to undress yourself as soon as possible however you were struggling with the buttons and Mark couldn’t help but smile watching your fingers slip away. He slowly moves on the shirt unbuttoning you sensually while eyeing you up and down.

You felt your face grow red when you saw how he was watching you so intensely you weren’t even aware. Mark captured a kiss on your lips. “You looked like you needed help.”

You smirk on the short lived kiss. He slid off your shirt revealing your shoulders and your cleavage between your bra on. He swore he loves every part of you, even your chest looks out of this world. Every little detail about you turns him on.

It was magical in a way what you do to him.

Mark lays you down putting one hand between your spine undoing your bra uncoupling it with just one hand and you felt it go loose as he stripped the rest of you spreading his mouth down your chest now. Kicking between your nipple folds and kissing your breasts so tenderly, fondling them. You were arching your back grinding your stomachs together as you were rolling out your soft moans.

The next thing you knew it his mouth was around your pelvis slipping out your panties to the side and pressing the thin tip of his tongue on your folds through the panties you couldn’t help but watch yourself fold down, apart, sideways — every position freaking possible you were in. Mark loved seeing you break down for only his mouth wait until he fucks you for real.

He made sure his mouth left you wet and warm, he also made sure you would come and give him a taste of yourself because he’s not going to fuck you until you do exactly that.

You moan into your hand when you felt his teeth gently brush on your sensitive clit and your body clutch onto the couch flatly as Mark pinned a hand on your stomach hitching inside with each ragged finger inside your hole or when overstimulating you with his tongue you took the largest breathe inside. Everytime you did so his hand on your stomach felt it and he loved seeing and feeling your body tense up from all the ways he’s eating you out, like he was practically starved for you, made for you to do this to you. You loved the fact that his nose rests flat on you sometimes because he loves to see you above as he eats you out underneath.

He loves seeing your head fling back or your eyes roll back. He loves seeing your hair become a brush out mess and your neck veins popping out from how much you’re withdrawing your moans or you’re stuttering out your noises like they were broken recording tapes you would listen back on to.

Mark felt your wet leaning pussy throb and his eyes lit up seeing you moan higher. He knew you were close now and you’re running away from it.

He however, was not letting you go run.

You moan loudly. “Fuck-fuck I’m going to come.”

Mark muffles against your leaking hole pushing his tongue further deep now enough to stretch between your folds in a circular motion you shake your thighs uncontrollably. “Don’t run away from it now honey.” Mark wanted to taste you finally.

Without you knowing what’s to come next Mark’s fingers roughly entering you hitting the g spot loosely stretching your walls out in places you’ve never known could be done before and then his tongue was stuck on your clit going on and on like a running wheel on a car. Non stop driving you to your maximum speeds and mileage you couldn’t handle so much at once, especially his fingers, they felt too good to be true. He knew how to work with them, it’s like he will never catch you slipping. He had, spidery senses where he could just make you come on his fingers with just one movement.

Snap…

It’s all he needed to see when he saw you spew on his fingers right there and then wetting them with your pussy juices. He brought them out momentarily licking them clean and you watch him before he retract them back inside you seeing you moan out loud when he did so.

“Fuck, Mark….” You blabber.

You’re already so out of it and Mark can’t help but think how you’ll look and sound when his cock is in the picture with you.

He dug inside your pussy with his fingers humming down loving to see your juices come in and out. “You’re so… sweet tasting.” He trails loving you on his taste buds more than he anticipated.

“Can’t wait to feel you come undone on my cock.” And that’s when you felt your world splitting into two as he said this getting out the erected cock in front of you. You let your mouth spit on his tip massaging it with your saliva and Mark groaning out as he positions his tip to your aligning entrance, you felt the anticipation kill you till you feel a large wound coming in and pulling you widely apart.

You’re underneath Mark gazing into his eyes as you held on the side to his arms for support. You began to clench your eyes tight to adjust to him fully, who the heck knew he was going to be this big?

You didn’t see it coming until now you’re feeling it coming.

You were mourning for your grave the minute your done with him you’ll going to be the first person to have troubles walking after getting fucked out by your saviour Spiderman. You weren’t expecting it for him to be good in bed now too — you arch your back slowly when Mark starts thrusting as he feels you taking the shape of his cock. Your body was following him so well he feel like you were the perfect match for a rhythm player.

Mark could feel everything about you as much as you feel everything about him. His cock pumping you up until you will be ready to come undone chasing your high, or should in this case be highs. Mark was making sure you come out of here with so much drain energy that you will get lost counting the times you came in the scene. You knew he was making you feel the ultimate pleasure he can produce and you, you were shocked he could go on so much.

He loves seeing your stomach take an image of his manhood deep working inside. He loved the sight more than he should’ve because next he’s ramming in you to see a rougher sight of his cock hitting your stomach.

You were there arching constantly wondering how did he find the most sensitive places for your body, even yourself you never knew this could make you become a moaning mess under him.

He loves see your face scrunch up whenever you moan his name. He loves to hear your voice and to feel your words reach his heart.

Next thing you know, you’re the one becoming a blabbering fool who’s going on about how good he feels and how amazing he’s fucking you out till you lost your mind. Mark wants to tell you he knows, because he can feel every inch of you clenching his cock wanting to milk him dry within you nonstop. You want this to become a limitless.

Limitless moment with him.

Mark groans clutching your pelvis down. “I’m going to…!”

He couldn’t finish his sentence faster than his body. You hold your breath as you felt him snap finally inside you feeling a pair of warm fluid inside your body and you achingly put a hand on his shoulder as he was breathing heavily against your neck.

You could sense his heartbeat and your own too, Mark loves the sound of yours matching his. It made this moment somehow more memorable and special.

You tiredly close your eyes sighing out.

“So, Spiderman how do you feel about a date?”

Mark couldn’t believe his ears until he lifts his fave away from your neck staring into your eyes.

He might be becoming a fool for you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating and copyrighting my work thank youu! Please reblog this fic and follow me for more it helps a girl out. <3

#nct fanfiction #nct smut #nct x reader #nct u scenarios #nct hard hours #nct series #nct fic #nct recs #nct scenarios #nct dream smut #nct masterlist #nct 127 smut #nct moodboard #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct u smut #nct dream hard thoughts #mark lee drabbles #mark lee smut #mark lee hard hours #mark lee x y/n #mark lee scenarios #mark lee fluff #mark lee fanfic #mark lee #lee mark smut #mark smut #nct 127 scenarios #mark scenarios #mark drabbles

[deramin2]

It feels like people were wanting the trust exercises in Critical Role c3 E79 and E80 to be research-supported therapy from a licensed practitioner where they all work together to get a good grade in therapy, a thing that's normal to want and possible to achieve.

Not A HAG fucking with them per her nature feeding off juicy drama and cringe who wants to shake them around until all their secrets come out for her to watch and realize that they're so scared of failure they're locking into the sort of inaction that will actually make them fail. (I love Nana Mori. She was exactly the sort of fucked up punk rock street wise woman they needed.)

It's BORING if they just talk about all their problems. It's BORING if they just jump to trusting each other (when the exercise was started that they can't trust each other). It's BORING if they're like "actually that power that's been set in front of me could possibly have a bad effect so I'm just going to keep ignoring it. It's BORING to be safe. Go back to your coffee shop AUs if you want everything to be soft and safe. That's not the point of the source material.

The CR cast have REPEATEDLY said they have more fun pushing the big red button than playing it safe because you spend all of real life trying to avoid the consequences of risky decisions and it's FUN to get to explore what can go wrong.

Bell's Hells succeeded because they concluded they are in a moment were inaction and hesitation will get everyone killed and they just need to push all the big red buttons and take the risks because it's now or never. They need to check in enough to keep each other in line, but they also need to imagine a scenario where none of them are traitors. (Like they had to restrain FCG from murder-bot mode, but they risked getting to murder-bot mode because the benefit outweighed the personal risk.)

This party is not OSHA approved. They literally couldn't do the job if they were. People like Allura and Keyleth are relying on them to take monumentally stupid risks while holding on by their fingernails so that other people can be safe.

Fearne came to the conclusion that she wasn't taking the shard because she was afraid of Dark!Fearne. But her friends will pull her out of that if she drifts. She also wasn't taking it because she thought Ashton was supposed to have it and that didn't work out well. If she'd put her hoof down her friends would probably have accepted her decision even if they disagreed with it. (It's actually like normal and healthy to disagree with your friends choices and not yes-man them all the time.) But she decided with her own free will that she was just being scared and actually she did want to try. (But also if they hadn't gone through the shard hurting and rejecting Ashton, Fearne might have thought her taking damage meant she wasn't supposed to have it, not just part of the trial of absorbing it.)

There's no binary where pressuring your friends is always bad. Sometimes your friends pressure you into doing things they believe will benefit you that you're reluctant to do and then you do it and are like "no actually that was the right call and I needed that." Or you conclude "No actually that was bad and I wish I didn't listen." There's actually no way to know ahead of time. My relationship with one of my best friends of like 20 years consists heavily of us battling each other's depression by pressuring each other into things we don't want to do but need to and that's healthy for us. But also other people in our lives pressured us into things we didn't want to do and should not have done and it turned out bad. It turns out that life is made up of shades of grey and not hard and fast rules. There's no way of knowing if you're fucking up ahead of time.

Imogen admitted in the Truth or Die session that she was upset that Fearne didn't take the shard. She probably would not have told Fearne that in normal circumstances. And she was probably feeling that way because part of her was upset at herself for not giving into the Predothos powers. Admitting that to Fearne gave her the courage to talk about the possibility of doing that. Which like, could be a terrible idea. But also this is a D&D game with predetermined character class powers that grow as you level and there has to be an in-game justification for getting powers like Revelation in Flesh at 14th level. Like, either she leans into these powers or they're forced on her or she stops leveling and goes home. Leaning in is way more fun. Don't you want to see what batshit thing Matt has planned for that? That's FUN. Ignoring the dark powers is boring.

Like first and foremost this is A GAME that involves yes-anding and taking risks. It's about characters who have spent their entire lives burying and ignoring their problems and getting worse because of it. It isn't REAL for them to have one revelation and be like, "Whelp I'm fixed now and will fall into none of my old patterns and just bare my soul to everyone forever now." People aren't actually like that and if that's what they need to do to be measurably better for you you'll have a lifetime of disappointments. This is an adult story for adults about how adults really behave.

Anyway I can't wait for them to schlep all their baggage and new fucked up powers to the moon with them where they're make irresponsible decisions based on a martyr complex while their friends yell at them to stop being stupid and selfish and let them help. It's going to be a disaster but hopefully they snatch victory from the jaws of defeat (or defeat from the jaws of victory) and tell an entertaining story about the fuckups who tried to stop the next Calamity. Maybe they will and they get to be heroes. Maybe it comes at a terrible cost. Maybe they totally fuck it up and it's a Ring of Brass situation. But it'll be FUN.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #critical role meta #critical role discourse #critical role campaign 3 #Bell's Hells #There's a reason many fans of this show would be totally incapable of making a compelling AP on their own #Maybe a fun home game but not a compelling narrative for other people #long post

[lady-hestia-rose]

Persona 5 vs. Milgram: How One Story Succeeded at Portraying Teenage Sexuality Where the Other Failed

tw: child abuse, child ra**, sexuality and sexualization, abortion, s**cide

(Note: I am not personally a victim of abuse or ra**, so if I say something stupid here, please let me know. I am always open to criticism and I don't want to be an asshole.)

rare moment of @lady-hestia-rose having original thoughts and not just reblogging everything

So this year I discovered both Persona 5 and Milgram, and I love both of them sososo much. I've infodumped about both of them for hours and overanalyzed the writing and symbolism both stories use to no end. Persona 5 Royal is probably my favorite piece of media I've ever seen. Milgram has brought me and my best friend closer together as we rant about our murderer blorbos and how well-written they all are together.

However, playing Persona, to me, is like the video game equivalent of watching a Shakespeare play. It's a masterclass narrative, very entertaining, and full of depth and symbolism to analyze, but it also has a bunch of misogyny that can really sour the mood sometimes. This seems to be a problem that the Persona series has had for a while judging from my experience playing P4 and what I've heard about other games, but in 5 it's like eating the most rich, satisfying cake you've ever had and then finding out some jackass poured pebbles into it. The way Persona 5 treats its female characters is by far my biggest problem with the game, with one problematic aspect in particular being its sexualization of the high school female cast, particularly Ann Takamaki.

Ann's storyline is mostly focused around her looks and how her appearance affects the way people treat her. At first, this plotline is taken in a promising direction. Because of her Caucasian ancestry, Ann faces slut-shaming and fetishization from most of her peers at school. In addition, Ann, along with many other girls in the school, is targeted by her abusive gym teacher, Kamoshida. It's not entirely clear how far his advances went with Ann specifically, but she is shown to face sexual harassment and coercion from Kamoshida onscreen, and Ann's best friend Shiho attempts suicide after being all but stated outright to have been raped by Kamoshida. So Ann is a victim of sexual abuse and a witness of her friend's abuse as well. There are plenty of interesting and thoughtful angles you could take with this story. You could show her reconnecting with Shiho and bonding over their shared trauma, with them going through the healing process together. You could show her being initially distrustful of the other Phantom Thieves until their bond grows stronger and she is able to feel safe around them. You could give her an arc about reclaiming her sexuality and taking back this part of herself that was used to hurt her.

What does the game do?

Barely fucking anything.

Ann gets little to no character development post-Kamoshida. Instead, her Confidant storyline is about her modeling career, with only one conversation where she sees Shiho again even acknowledging her past trauma. The game also continues to make her the Ms. Fanservice of the team, with constant gross jokes about her "hot bod" and the male characters being pervy around her. She keeps getting put in skimpy outfits and having to use her sex appeal to seduce enemies, as if the previous storyline never even happened.

For obvious reasons, I am very uncomfortable with any storyline that sexualizes minors, even if it's for a reason that serves the story. This is a general rule I apply to most media I consume. I'm considering completely skipping the Dancing in Starlight spinoff game because of the content I've heard it contains. And it's not just something I apply to Persona. I stopped listening to the song "Romeo and CInderella" by doriko despite really liking it musically because I was very uncomfortable with the story of the song. It's a problem I run into a lot when consuming Japanese media. However, I was thinking about this stuff a couple days ago, and I realized something. There is one specific piece of media I really like that shows a minor with sexual imagery that actually doesn't make me sick to my stomach. That is the song "Tear Drop" from DECO*27's music project Milgram.

(Note for Milgram fans: This part is based entirely off my interpretation of the offical English translation of the lyrics. I have not watched the voice dramas.)

"Tear Drop" is about a 17-year-old girl named Kashiki Yuno. The music video has several shots of her wearing lingerie, and the song approaches themes of innocence, sexuality, and relationships. Not only do I like the song, it's arguably my favorite song in the entirety of Milgram (although Backdraft also puts up a good fight for that title).

(Note from the future: I have been corrected. Yuno is actually 18.)

Why is it that I like "Tear Drop" despite depictions of sexualized teenagers usually making me uncomfortable? What sets apart Yuno's story from Ann's that makes it work?

(Note: I'm about to discuss a controversial aspect of Japanese culture as a mostly uninformed American. I may be about to say something stupid. If you're more knowledgeable about this subject than I am and you notice me saying something stupid, I am so sorry. Please tell me.)

In Yuno's first song, "Umbilical," it was heavily implied that she was involved in the Japanese enjo kōsai industry, which is often translated as "compensated dating." Taking the definition from Wikipedia (the most scholarly of sources), it is "the practice of older men giving money and/or luxury gifts to attractive young women for sexual favors." The song also implies that Yuno's "murder" (the premise of Milgram is that all of the prisoners the songs are about have killed someone) was an abortion.

So, Yuno was raped. I think that's quite clear. If you're a minor and you have sex with an adult, you were raped. No further clarification needed. Hopefully I don't need to argue that Yuno's abortion was justified either.

After the release of "Umbilical," Yuno was overwhelmingly voted innocent by Milgram's official poll. She garnered a huge amount of sympathy from everybody in the audience, and people expressed their sympathy for Yuno quite often. However, this rhetoric often took on quite a patronizing tone, like calling her "poor baby" or regretting that the circumstances of her life "forced" her into compensated dating to make ends meet (which, from what I understand, isn't quite how enjo kōsai works, but that's another discussion for someone who knows more about this stuff than me).

In Milgram, the prisoners canonically can hear what the audience is saying about them. And Yuno was not pleased.

"Tear Drop" seems to be almost entirely addressed towards the audience. In the image above, we see Yuno removing the metaphorical rose-colored lens from the audience to see the real her. The lyrics call out everyone who infantilized and looked down upon her, drawing similarities between the people she dated and the viewers. Here are some examples from the English translated lyrics: "'Poor naive little girl'? So off the mark, what's it to you? It's just absurd"

"Don't weigh me measure me against your morality Just shut it, will you? You know it all Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT? I'm so not that Just shut it, will you? You know it all" "Caressing me with your 'Good girl' Who needs your self-righteous pardon?

I'm the one who chose, let you and you and you all in Happy or sad? Why decide? Where'd you get your half-baked sense of justice So nauseating...so creepy...will you please disappear"

Yuno is sick of everyone else making judgements about her and trampling over her own desires and wishes, and in this song she gives the middle finger to everyone who did so.

Generally, I am against portraying sexualized minors in media. However, I think it's important to realize that teenagers are not completely sexless beings. They have their own wants and desires, they want to be sexy, and it is important for them to have their own safe sexual exploration. And like it or not, sex has undoubtedly affected Yuno's life as a rape survivor. And unlike Persona with Ann, Milgram has the respect to not just pretend this part of Yuno's life never happened and allows her to be sexual on her own terms, instead of just pandering to the male gaze.

I grew up in the LDS Church. While I have not gone through anything on her level, I see parts of my own story in Yuno as someone whose sexuality was used to hurt me and who has coped with the trauma by redefining my sexuality as my own. I find "Tear Drop" incredibly inspiring, and I think that's what sets Milgram apart from Persona in its approach to teenage sexuality.

This is the second-to-final shot of Tear Drop. Her face is full of relief, with her clutching the jacket like a comforting blanket. Not everything she has faced is fixed now, and her teenage naivety is still clear in many of the lyrics. One song didn't melt all her trauma away. But she's getting there. She's making progress one step at a time. The final shot of the song is her pulling the jacket in, covering more of her body as she rests.

In Persona 5, Ann's sexuality is used to objectify her. In Milgram, Yuno's sexuality is used to empower her. That's what makes the difference.

#persona 5 #milgram #persona 5 analysis #p5 analysis #milgram analysis #analysis #media analysis #ann takamaki #kashiki yuno #p5 ann #milgram yuno

[candyheartedchy]

Just getting this out of my system due to self doubt and fear related issues.

I wish I wasn’t so damn scared of everything. Scared of failing. Scared off succeeding. Scared to be myself. I feel like I’m reaching for nothing half of the time when it comes to my dreams and goals in life. That I’m just always lingering in the background as I watch as others chase after their dreams, determined, while I sit and worry about messing up or missing my mark. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do because I don’t know how to achieve anything. I feel stupid. But mostly lost. Lost in the crowd. Lost in the race. I want to reach out more to people, my friends, the community. I want to be apart of something and not feel like I have to hide. But I always do. I try to remind myself that the ones I inspire should be my motivation, and they are. That if I never achieve anything in life, ever, that maybe I was meant to help someone out there either feel not so alone or make their days a little brighter. But at the same time I feel like I’m letting them down by not only writing this, but also not taking their words to heart when I should. I’m scared I’m wasting time waiting for something I don’t even know is meant for me or not. All I know is that I’m an artist. I don’t post or draw for popularity, I do it for expressing myself. An outlet. And maybe I draw too much at times, but it’s how I regulate my emotions. Though I’m always grateful to share my work with others, I sometimes get embarrassed of it. And worried that others might be too. But I guess that’s what most artists feel at times, worried that nobody will understand them or their work. But I want to connect. Not just through my art, but also through myself as a person. And I know my social skills aren’t the best, but I am trying. To interact more and help others not feel so alone and lost as well. I just hope that I’m doing something that matters in the end.

#again just writing this to help clear my head about some things #this probably sounds all over the place #💬 chy chatter 💬 #vent #vent tw

[tineteenieworld3]

I love Mike Wheeler. Love love him so much. I think that has a lot to do with the complexity of his character and I think people are uncomfortable with that. There is a tendency to push characters into boxes and give them somewhat surface level or boxed in characteristics, because that’s easier. It’s hard to do that with most ST character, but mostly Mike.

There’s so many aspects to him that we’ve actually seen. He’s serious, he’s a leader, he’s goofy, he works well under pressure, he talks before thinking, but sometimes he’s extremely thoughtful with his words. He’s a leader, but feels unneeded, he’s can be a dick, but is also extremely aware of the people he cares about and always wants to do what’s best. He’s selfless but sometimes finds himself being selfish but in the wrong ways.

He’s very very hard to shove into boxes, because you can always pull a ‘well, then there’s this…’ with him.

Season 4 is frustrating because we get almost zero insight into his POV, and for a character like Mike, that’s extremely frustrating.

I feel like he flys under the radar, too. There was a lot of focus on El not being in Hawkins in season 4 and even Will. Mike is more brushed aside, which is crazy because they’ve never succeeded without him. Not even once. He’s always somehow part of the biggest plot line. Except for season 4.

Season 1, he and Joyce ran that show. But Mike was the planner for his ‘team’ he was smart and quick and never gave up. They would have died without him.

Season 2, same exact thing. He was the one to get through to Will. That was him. He also was able to understand what Will was saying alot quicker than anyone else ‘you shouldn’t have upset him’ and Mike understood immediately.

Then he was with the other kids and, once again, put a plan together to go burn the UD. Season 3, made the plans, listened to Will, was very level headed.

And it’s not like with El where it’s obvious she’s saving the day and having a hero moment. Mike’s is much quieter, but all the pieces he puts together and everything he does leads them to success everytime.

Then he was gone. And I am a believer that vecna strikes when Mike left for a reason. After season 4, Mike is one of the only characters who’s never failed. And we can have that point for others as well, but I’m gonna keep the focus on Mike with this because the groups that tend to have him, usually do a lot better.

I see a lot of ‘Mike won’t leave Will’s side’ good, Will shouldn’t want to leave Mike’s side either. No one should want to leave Mike’s side, I sure as hell wouldn’t.

If I had to pick a partner in any of this, hands down I’m choosing Mike. Let that boy do his thing and you’re staying alive.

#byler #mike wheeler

[riseofamoonycake]

Hi Moony!!

Can I request for Issac Newton Drunk Hc? ☺️

Lol, Drunk Newton is the best Newton we can have! I laughed a thousand times writing this!

Isaac Newton - Drunk Hcs

Let's start with this: Newton is really aware of his... little problem with the alcohol: he can't handle it too much. Maybe only a glass of wine, a little beer... but nothing else. And it is a shame, because Isaac loves how alcohol tastes...

For this reason, he drinks only during festivities, birthdays, or when he has to celebrate a success in laboratory, so the entire team throws a party and there are rivers of alcohol flowing

During these occasions, Isaac is always very careful to not cross the line and stay safe, but...

... But there is always a little devil who enjoys to bring chaos and fill his glass again and again: yes, Thomas Edison, we are speaking of you

If Edison is near to him, Newton has only to fear and run away: because that mad man doesn't miss any occasion to tease him, to friendly mock his shyness and quietness, to poke his sides and to make him drink. He is a mission he has with everyone of the team, but especially with Newton, the chosen victim of his pranks

Newton tries to resist Edison and his alcoholic offers, and sometimes he manages to do it... sometimes, especially when he is tired, no.

So, the first thing he feels after one glass too many is a strange lightness throughout his body. His head seems less heavy, his body stands straighter, his senses are heightened… here we are, Newton is drunk

The next stage is: throwing the head back and starting to look at the ceiling with the expression of a child seeing a butterfly or a rainbow for the first time, the mouth formed in a perfect O and the eyes wide open and full of stars, spinning on himself

If Marie or Alfred don't notice it and quickly grab Isaac and sit him on a chair, the third stage is: walking like a sleepy zombie through the room, bumping against everything and everyone, a lot of sorry stuck between the teeth and the sensation of being about to fall at any moment. This often happens, most of the time on a sofa, against a plant, or directly on the table…

Sometimes, however, Newton looks for something softer to throw himself against; and in those moments, the wide chest of Alfred Nobel or the silky beard of Galileo are soooo inviting…

Here we go again, the poor victim says, sighing and patting Isaac's head while he is sinking the face into the breasts of one or the beard of the other, a satisfied smile on the face and the eyes half closed

Isaac stays still for nearly forty minutes, and nobody can move him or he starts to scream and cry in a toddler voice and grabs Alfred's hips or Galileo's braids

After this time, usually when everybody is silent or the situation is calmer, Isaac suddenly raises his head, jumps up and starts walking, aiming at a completely random person

Whoever they are, Newton takes them by the hand without a word and drags them away, heading to the first bedroom he finds, no matter whether it is already occupied or not. Once here, he throws his prey onto the bed, ending up falling flat on it and remaining there, unable to get up.

Time for a colossal sleep, hugging his bedmate

Once, Einstein managed to free his prey and replaced it with a huge cat plush without Isaac noticing, but it succeeded only for that evening…

After all this circus, in the middle of the morning, Isaac wakes up with a lot of confusion and questions, while Marie or Nikola are sit on a chair next to him, watching over him. They have to explain what is happened, and the poor Newton nearly cries and weeps at hearing what he has done, and promises to not do it again

Sometimes he succeeds, sometimes he fails, but he tries all his best to stay sober, especially after these embarrassing shows

Edison is constantly banned by Isaac's presence.

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #ror #snv #record of ragnarok newton #ror newton #snv newton #ror science crew #snv marie curie #record of ragnarok tesla #snv tesla #ror nobel #record of ragnarok nobel #snv nobel #ror galileo

[capseycartwright]

tell me all of the things that make you feel at ease

Ease. The absence of difficulty or effort.

Buck wasn't sure if he'd ever experienced true ease, in his life - and maybe he should have realised, when he had to turn to Eddie to explain what it meant to feel at ease, but Buck was known for being sort of oblivious.

ao3 link

Ease. The absence of difficulty or effort. That’s how it was defined on the internet, at least – Buck knew because he had looked it up, after his conversation with Bobby. It’s not like it was the word itself he was unfamiliar with – no, it was the feeling that Buck didn’t recognise. Ease – it felt like it should be something so easy, and so familiar, and yet Buck wasn’t sure if he had ever experienced the feeling. He certainly never felt at ease in the Buckley household growing up, their suburban home haunted by ghosts that Buck had only recently learned of the existence of, and ease hadn’t come after that either, as happy as he was in Los Angeles.

Ease.

Buck felt absolutely plagued by the word.

He knew Bobby was right.

Buck was a lot of things, but he was aware of his own failings – or, really, he was aware of what he lacked, and he knew at barely 30 – because could you claim an age when you’d only worn the numbers as a badge for two and a half months, now? – he still had a lot left to learn, and he was fine with that. He supposed, really, it wasn’t even about being interim captain at all, if he was willing to dig deep into the depths of why he felt so completely and utterly rocked by Bobby’s decision to make Lucy interim captain over him. It was more that Buck’s job felt like the only good, consistent thing in his life, amongst the wreckage of his failed relationships, and if he wasn’t succeeding at his job – was he succeeding at anything?

It had definitely sent him spiralling. Buck could admit that.

Ease.

He didn’t know what that meant to him, honestly.

“You’ve been quiet tonight.”

Eddie’s words roused Buck from his stupor, Buck suddenly aware that he had been staring out the window, scrubbing the same clean plate over, and over, for the last ten minutes. It wasn’t behaviour Eddie was going to let him wave away, he knew, and so Buck shrugged.

“I’m just thinking.”

Eddie fixed him with a curious look. Eddie did that, a lot – fixed him with the kind of stare that made Buck feel as though his best friend could read his every thought. “Are you still upset that Bobby didn’t pick you to be interim captain?” the ask wasn’t accusatory, or condescending – it was a genuine question. Buck appreciated that about Eddie, he never made Buck feel silly for the fact he sometimes did tend to overreact to things.

(“You’re allowed to have big emotions,” Eddie grinned, ever the father, repeating a speech that Buck had heard him give Christopher before: encouraging his son to feel his big emotions and overwhelming feelings and talk about them, too. Eddie was a great dad.)

Buck sighed, setting the dish on the counter, using the dish towel he’d tossed aside earlier to dry off his hands. He’d ripped the rubber gloves Eddie kept in his house for Buck’s sake, and his hands felt grim, and dry, the dish soap sucking all the moisture out of his skin. He hated doing dishes – but Eddie had cooked, and Buck was nothing if not an egalitarian when it came to their friendship: if Eddie cooked, Buck cleaned.

“I’m not upset about that,” Buck said, shaking his head when Eddie raised an eyebrow in response. “No, really – I’m not. I was, I’m not pretending that I wasn’t upset, because I was, but it’s not – it’s not that,” he paused. He could tell Eddie this. Right? Of course he could, because Eddie was his best friend, and he told Eddie everything, and maybe a problem shared was a problem halved, and all that. “Bobby said something to me the other day, and it’s been playing on my mind.”

Eddie’s brow furrowed, the expression unfamiliar these days, given the way Eddie tended to be so much happier, these days. He – Eddie looked good, these days. He’d put a lot of work in, over the months, and he looked better – happier, healthier, his face filled out again, the thinness brought about by months of depression and anxiety replaced with bright eyes and flushed cheeks and a healthier, happier version of his best friend. Buck knew it wasn’t easy to put the work in the way that Eddie had done, and it made Buck all the prouder.

“What did he say?”

“In AA, there’s this idea that you take inventory of your life, admit your shortcomings – in the hopes that one day, you can look the world straight in the eye, and be alone at perfect peace, and ease,” Buck quipped. He’d thought about it so much, since he and Bobby had spoken, that the words felt like they were directly imprinted on his brain.

Eddie was quiet, for a second. “That makes sense, right?” he questioned, leaning against the kitchen counter. He was wearing a flannel shirt Buck didn’t recognise, the sleeves rolled to the elbow, Eddie’s sweatpants a few inches too long and dragging on the ground. It was a comfortable outfit, and that in itself wasn’t ground-breaking, but the fact Eddie was happy to wear it was. It was something Buck had realised, early on in his friendship with Eddie – he didn’t like to appear vulnerable to people, even through something as simple as wearing some slouchy clothes, and it meant a lot that he trusted Buck enough to be entirely comfortable.

Buck huffed out a breath. “I don’t know.”

read the rest on ao3

#911 fox #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #in which i ramble #in which lorna writes fic #anyway this was meant to be a coda and i went fully fucking mental instead #enjoy!

[xspilltheteapleasex]

Normal Days Are Nowhere To Be Found: PART ONE

Avengers x Fem!Reader

Summary: It was a normal day. Accept for the fact your an Avenger. Also the feeling of doom you have. Something bad was going to happen today. You just know it.

Word Count: 741

Content Warning: Mentions of feelings of doom, bullying, abandonment, and murder.

A/N: Hello everybody! :) This is the start of a story I have been wanting to write for a long time. This is part one, and more chapters are to come. See y'all soon!

My Main Masterlist

My Avenger Stories Masterlist

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Normal Days Are Nowhere To Be Found Masterlist

-PART TWO-

All bad days start as normal days. It only takes one itty bitty thing to influence the course of events that happens next. One tiny little action that can either build a future, or destroy everything.

It all started on a perfectly normal day.

“Bacon…”

You literally woke up half a second ago, and the first thing that comes through your mouth is the word bacon. No one would expect anything less. To be fair, it was the smell of bacon that woke you up, or as you would put it, “bribing you awake from the comfort of your dreams”.

“Mmm-mm!”

The smell was so enticing and delicious, you could practically take the moth water bacon. You started to drool. But was it worth it to get out of bed? That was a rhetorical question. You knew that if you didn’t get out of bed now, someone, most definitely Steve, would come barging into your room and drag you out of bed. Correction. Steve would come up first and try to gently nudge you awake, but fail almost instantly. THEN Bucky would come up and drag you out of bed. And of course Wanda's bacon was always worth getting of bed for.

Reluctantly, you swiped off your covers, and already regretting your decision, rolled off the bed. Being grateful is not one of your strong suits.

“School awaits. Yay.”

However much you didn't want to get out of bed, triple that for not wanting to go to school. It wasn't because you were bad at school, you actually were really smart, which was why you went to Midtown School of Science and Technology. The problem was those kids. Such awful kids, so mean. You got bullied by some jerks about anything under the sun. You tried to ignore it, but sometimes, you couldn't help it if they succeeded in getting under your skin. Plus, you had this feeling something bad was going to happen today. Weird.

Thankfully, you could count on your best friend Peter Parker. You guys have been friends ever since you both quite literally ran into each other in the hallways of 7th grade. Those awful kids bullied you most about your family. About how your own mother didn't want you. Or about how the only people who did want you died.

The story that was told to you was that when you were born, everything was fine. As you grew up, you discovered you possessed abilities. Powers. You could read minds, levitate things, and more. Your mother didn’t think that was such a wonderful thing. She gave you up to your grandparents. They loved and took care of you, and accepted you for you. The only rule was no powers. They were scared that if someone were to find out about your abilities, people would take you away and do who knows what. They just wanted to protect you. And you did as you were told, or so they thought. In reality, you did use your powers in secret. Helping other people, saving lives, it was great. And someone did find out. That someone was Tony Stark. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Yes, that Tony Stark.

He recruited you to join a team. A team of mighty warriors and heroes. You were officially and Avenger. He also recruited your best friend Peter too. Things couldn't get better. 

Then, one night, your grandparents were murdered.

You blamed it on yourself. It was very traumatic. Aunt May took you in, and the Avenger served as your family. You eventually started to heal. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into years. Now it was junior year of high school. Lots of college applications, science projects, scholarships, sleepovers, and internship opportunities. To hide the fact of you being a freaking superhero and were spending a ton of time at Stark Tower, Tony Stark had you and Peter as interns. You couldn't complain, it was awesome.

“Y/N? Are you awake?”

It was Steve. Uhhgg. Okay, you had to get up off the floor and actually function as a normal human being. Yay.

“Yeah, I'm up, Steve!” You yelled.

As you heard his footsteps grow quieter, you begrudgingly hoisted your body off the floor of your room in the Stark Tower. Walking over to your closet, you couldn't shake the feeling of doom from your system. You just prayed, nothing bad actually happened today.

Oh, how so wrong you were.

#mcu #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #the avengers #thank you #avengers #avengers fandom #marvel fanart #marvel fandom #marvel fanfic writer #mcu peter x reader #marvel mcu #mcuedit #marvel movies #mcu rp #mcu imagine #mcu steve rogers #mcu stuff #marvel fanfiction #marvel spiderman #marvel comics #earth 616 #wanda maximoff #tony stark #iron man #mcu fanfiction #fanfic #avengers fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiction writer

[mad4turtles]

May Ii request for Rottmnt story. But with Leosagi please?

Heya! Sorry this took so long and sorry if it's not exactly what you wanted, but here you go!

---

Splinter knew he wasn't the best father out there. Far from it.

Of course, he'd ensured his boys had everything they could ever need: food, shelter, beds, clothes and toys—no matter what it took, no matter how it came to them, he wouldn't let his sons want for anything. Within reason.

(Donatello could beg on his knees all he wanted, he was not getting uranium for his birthday.)

Growing up, he'd let his boys know they were loved every day in his own ways with hugs and kisses goodnight, with washed-out books or toys he'd dug from the sewers or dumpsters in alleys, with their favourite snack on a bad day. Sometimes with noise-cancelling headphones for when Purple needed silence after a meltdown. Sometimes with needles and spools of yarn for when Red needed to calm down or Blue's favourite brand of tea when he couldn't sleep. All the little things Splinter didn't have after his mother left.

And even then, he'd nearly missed them.

He can be lazy, he knows. Lazy, flippant, dismissive to the point he wonders how much he'd actually raised the boys rather than the boys raising themselves (or Red, as the biggest and oldest. The mother-hen tendencies must come from somewhere). Invested in his shows, his comfy chair and bed, sleeping the days away when the boys reached their teens, he'd barely been a part of their lives. And when he was, he was stealing their tanks for joyrides or sending them out on errands in his stead.

Shredder's return, and Draxum's meddling, had opened his eyes and then some. And it became clear how badly he'd failed his children.

Yet despite his failings, they proved how capable they were without the family's traditions or disciplines he'd discarded as a foolish young man. They showed him how he'd succeeded in teaching them love above all else, the importance of family first.

Their love for each other, and their fool of a father, had won the day in the end. Pride couldn't begin to describe how he felt.

Still, one incredible victory couldn't erase years of absence, so he sought to rectify that. Thankfully, he wasn't too late.

His sons are no longer babies or turtle tots, growing into fine young men, but he does his best to be more present. He starts their training schedule back up and takes more interest in their personal lives. Sure he's still lazy and lax, but he's here, far more than he'd ever been, and he makes it known that no matter what, he wants to be a part of their lives. 

He doesn't need to be the greatest father or teacher. He just wants to be a good one. Two years after Shredder's defeat and he thinks he's doing alright.

But then—

“Hey, Pops? Can I talk to you?”

Ear twitching, Splinter turns from the screen. Blue stands with his fingers pressed together, shifting on his feet. Already that's concerning, but Splinter narrows his eyes. “What did you do?”

“What—nothing, I didn't, no, I just—“ Leo runs a hand over his scalp, sighing roughly. “I-I need—can I just talk to you, please? In private?”

Oh. Okay then.

Splinter shuts off the projector and hops out of his chair. “Okay, Blue. Come, we'll speak in my room.”

Leo shuffles quietly behind him. Another red flag. Leonardo Hamato-Jitsu does not shuffle. And he's never this quiet. He doesn't have Red's 'fear stink', but Splinter can feel his son's nervousness.

Gods, what have I missed this time?

He shuts the door after Leo and motions him to sit on the bed with him. “Now,” he says, facing Leo, “what is it you wanted to talk about?”

Leo folds his legs and plays with his fingers, not meeting his father's eyes. He purses his lips, eyes shifting around the room. Splinter waits in the tense, awkward silence for a full two minutes before Leo speaks:

“U-Um—so... y-you know how you told us about the—ugh, the birds and the bees a few years back?”

Jeezy tap-dancing Creezy, what a way to start a conversation!

Splinter fights to keep an even face and nods. “Yes,” he says slowly, cautiously, fear deep in his bones, “I do. It was—”

“One of the worst effing moments of our collective lives, yes,” Leo says quickly. He's still not looking at Splinter, rubbing his neck. “A-Anywhizzle, you—back then, you said it was, like, when—when a guy and a girl like each other and stuff—”

Please, God, Splinter prays with a desperation he hasn't felt since Shredder's return, if this is what I think it is, give me strength—

“What if... What if it was, like... not a guy and a girl?”

A pause. 

“What?”

Leo starts to sweat, fidgeting where he sits like he's about to run off. Sure enough, he sits up abruptly—“Y'know what, pssht, it doesn't matter!” He forces a laugh and starts to shuffle off the bed, “It's stupid, it's dumb, don't even worry about it! Sorry I wasted your time, you can go back to watching your show I'm just gonna—”

Splinter's tail catches him around the wrist. 

“Leonardo,” he says. Leo goes very, very still. “Please. Talk to me, my son.”

When Leo finally looks at Splinter, his eyes are wide and shining, his shoulders trembling and—oh. Oh. 

Splinter's heart breaks into a million pieces. He's messed up. Again.

How did I miss this?

Gently pulling Leo back to the bed, he unwraps his tail and takes his son's shaking hands in his own, his thumb gently stroking calloused, scaly knuckles. He mulls the words carefully in his head, conscious of the silence and Leo's bouncing knee as it stretches perhaps a bit too long. Finally, he looks up—“How long have you felt this way?”

He's not sure if it's the right or very wrong thing to say as Leo bursts.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!” he cries, gripping Splinter's hands hard enough to hurt. “I didn't—I-I know I'm, like, the farthest thing from normal in the history of all things normal, but I—I know this—this isn't normal either, I looked it up online and, yeah, no, it's really not normal, 'cos like, I'm a guy and, and guys don't like other guys, and, and, and—”

Splinter yanks him forward into a hug tight enough to bruise a human's ribs, curling his tail around his shell. Leo's still so tense, face damp with tears, and Splinter cradles the back of his head. 

“I love you so much, my son,” he says. “I know I have not been... present as much as I should have, and I have missed so many things. But you—all four of you—are my world. I would not trade you for anything, nor will I ever forsake you, no matter who you choose to be or who you love. You will always be my Baby Blue.”

His only warning is a choked sob before Leo bursts into tears. He buries his face against his shoulder, squeezing Splinter and curling up against him as he did when he was smaller. When Splinter could pick him up and hold him and take all the hurt away with a hug or a kiss on the forehead. He's much bigger now, older and stronger, with scars inside and out that won't go away so easily, but damn him if that'll stop him from holding his son now. Six, sixteen or sixty, it doesn't matter. He's still his baby.

“I'm sorry,” Leo whimpers. 

Splinter hushes him. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

Leo sniffles, nuzzling Splinter's cheek, smearing his fur with tears. “I love you, dad.”

Splinter holds him tighter and grins. “I love you too, Blue.”

The following day, Leo struts out of his room in his favourite hoodie and a pride pin with bold white text: 'BABY BI-BI-BI!' 

Raph spits out his soda and grabs him in a hug shy of breaking his shell. Mikey is beside himself, leaping across the lair and finally onto Raph to join the hug. April has tears in her eyes—“You're amazing, baby,” she says, and Leo's eyes glisten.

Donnie smirks. “Called it.”

“What?” Leo wheezes from Raph's arms.

“You knew?” Splinter asks.

Donnie rolls his eyes. “Please. Leon's 'closet' was made of glass.”

Raph nearly passes out he laughs so hard, falling back and taking everyone with him to the floor. Then Donnie joins the pile, bumping foreheads with his twin in silent congratulations. Splinter watches from the couch and smiles.

Yes, he's missed a few things, some bigger than others. But he's here now, and he thanks god he didn't miss this.

Then three months later, Leo brings home a boy.

“Everyone,” he announces with a flourish as he gestures to the flustered-looking rabbit Yokai waving awkwardly beside him. “This is Usagi Miyamoto. We're dating. Have been, actually, for like three weeks, so, yeah." He drapes his arm around the blushing rabbit boys' shoulder, grinning wide. "We're boyfriends now.”

Splinter chokes on his sake.

A boyfriend. 

Usagi--the boyfriend--turns to Splinter and bows. "It is an honour to finally meet you, sir. Leonardo has told me so much about all of you." He smiles, small but polite. 

Splinter grimaces back.

I am not ready for this.

---

Send more requests if you'd like!~<3

#rottmnt #rottmnt fic #rise of the teenage mutant ninja tutles #my writing #my fics #i don't actually know much about Leosagi other than its kinda cute XD #I'm very much straight as a board tho so forgive me for anything i might've gotten wrong

[alexfierroaf]

You know, the more I think about the finale (which is basically all I’ve been doing since it came out), the more I realize something.

The further and further I got in Miraculous up until this point, the deeper the sense of dread and nihilism I got. Because every time Marinette and/or Adrien made any significant step forward, they were “rewarded” with either a bad end or an undo button. Chat Blanc and Ephemeral are obvious examples, but there have been plenty of others too -- all the times Marinette ~almost~ got to confess to Adrien, their identity reveal in Oblivio, the few moments of happiness Adrien had with his father, etc. Even Kwami’s Choice (one of the very few moments of actual happy plot progression that we get) bends to this rule, because they were so relieved to be free of the Miraculous, but in the end, that freedom was doomed not to last.

It made me more and more anxious the more I watched. I got the feeling that no matter what happened, these kids might never get their happy ending. Even when the series ends (I’m assuming on a positive note, but after this finale nothing can be taken for granted) Marinette will eventually have to pass on her Guardianship, which means she’ll forget everything -- including not only Adrien, also Alya and all the rest of her loved ones that she met after learning about the Miraculous. Her memories (to my understanding) will revert back to what they were at the point just before becoming involved with the Miraculous. Which means her journey of personal growth and working through her trauma will also be reset. Either that or her entire memory is wiped. Neither option is happy. And then of course there’s Adrien, who will have to grieve their past relationship, supposing he’s still alive when she gives up the Miracle Box.

Realizing this made me think: How will they get out of this? How will they ever be okay? Are they just doomed to fail and suffer tragedy on repeat for the rest of their lives?

Yin and Yang. Creation and Destruction. Joy and Grief. They are all natural cycles -- forces that cannot be avoided. And none can exist without the other. 

In season five, we got one of the greatest joys (and steps forward) that we’ve received in the entire show -- Adrienette finally becoming canon. And staying canon, despite steep odds. We also got the single greatest loss in the series to date, and that’s Gabriel succeeding in making his wish. Going out on his own terms, with the knowledge that he got what he wanted. God, it makes me sick.

At first I was shocked. Upset. Disappointed, a little bit. Because of course we all expected something different. Something involving them beating the odds, no matter what.

But this ending....it’s the natural conclusion to the Bad Vibes (TM) I’d been getting from this series for a while now. That sense of hopelessness, of inevitability....All those times I thought to myself, “How are they ever going to break this cycle? What will they be able to do differently that will allow them to win?” The answer was already in front of me. And that answer was: They can’t. Sometimes tragedy is unavoidable. Sometimes, despite all your best efforts (and an absolutely badass performance by Bug Noire) you still lose.

And hasn’t that been the whole point of the series thus far, when you think about it? Making mistakes and knowing how to fix them. The entire setup of akumatized victims is a picture of this. We all have negative emotions, and we all make mistakes. But in the end, they can be fixed, and life moves on. Maribug makes all kinds of mistakes too. Little everyday ones that get episodic focus as well as life changing events like in Risk. She obsesses over her mistakes -- tries so hard to be perfect -- but no matter what she will continue to mess up, and do her best to make it better. 

She’s made a massive mistake this time by choosing to extend an olive branch to Gabriel. The world is forever altered, and it’s unclear if anything can be done to fix it. But just like always, she will do everything in her power to make things right. It’s the natural evolution of a story with this theme, to, after rectifying so many errors, finally come to one which can never be undone. It’s even more dire than loosing the Miraculous last season, since at least those could be reclaimed. But life goes on, regardless of what happens in the past. All Marinette can do is learn from her experiences and do better next time. 

Mistakes are inevitable. Pain and grief are inevitable. But so is growth. So is joy. So is life. 

I predict that the end of Miraculous Ladybug will come when Marinette is finally comfortable with her ability to mess up and recover from it. When she accepts that sometimes bridges need to be burned, and that failure is a part of life. When she’s comfortable enough with herself to admit that, she’ll be ready to take on the new Butterfly holder and, with Adrien by her side this time, finally make a decisive victory. 

Who knows what will happen after the final credits run. How the cycles of Creation and Destruction rear their heads in their lives. But by the time that moment comes, they’ll be prepared to square up and face it head on.

#in a way despite the fact that it was so dissatisfying #i'm kinda relieved by this finale cause it validates that sense of dread i'd been having about this show #like i wasn't exaggerating #wasn't overthinking it #that really was what they were going for #and i know astruc has mentioned themes of mistakes on his twitter #but i don't know much about it cause i refuse to look into his twt acc lol #this post is mostly about marinette but adrien has an arc with this too #but i didn't want to ramble too much or derail the post #ml spoilers #miraculous season 5 #miraculous recreation #miraculous conformation #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #gabriel agreste #lila rossi #tikki #plagg #miraculous season 5 finale #miraculous meta

[dropthedemiurge]

Kawi's Problem: Caring Selfishness

I decided it deserves a separate post xD (previous thoughts here) After Pisaeng suddenly and aggressively kisses him, Kawi has to deal with the impression that he did something wrong and messed the timeline. He's still under impression that Pisaeng and Pear were in love and in no way Pisaeng should be kissing Kawi, he messed up. Kawi is only focused on his actions and the 'you fix things by time-travelling' attitude.

He doesn't see that the problem lies somewhere else, he and his low self-esteem never believe Pisaeng was sincere flirting with him. All Pisaeng's flirting ends with a joke, a deflection, the teasing that sometimes is so overboard it makes Kawi upset (Pisaeng is just testing the waters and trying not to push too much but they both can't understand how to communicate with each other properly yet).

(Ouch, Pisaeng, you've got something to learn as well…)

And it's also heartbreaking how Kawi is improving bit by bit and he's more outgoing and brave now – yet he relapses in old habits so fast. Still hiding from problems under the blanket. Eating in bathroom if you're an outcast – something I saw portrayed often and very telling either in Asian stories or stories about a lonely depressed/bullied kid. Even 30yo returning to the past setting doesn't think he deserves eating with friends or thinks bathroom is more comfortable to him than the cafeteria. Someone take care of Kawi pls.

I think I'm fascinated how Kawi is both caring and empathetic, yet so self-centered. He regretted not standing up for a random girl for twelve years but he doesn't notice how his words can hurt his friends. But, I guess, he was alone all his life, he just never learnt about how his actions and words affect other people. He fell out of his friendship with Max and didn't dare to fix it until travelling in the past.

And boy, the character development would be very slow! I'm glad that the show doesn't magically fix the flawed character but makes Kawi painfully try to do good things and keep failing to learn. But we'll get there. We'll get there.

I was frustrated too when Kawi decided to mend his friendship – yet he never said that he misses Max. He never said he needs him or wants to be friends again because he regretted their fallout for a long time. He only pushes for 'I have so many problems and I can only talk to you', and Max isn't really having it but he's not about to make a scene at his job so he gives Kawi a chance. I think we'll see in the future scenes that it won't truly go well even if Kawi comes again later (no, Kawi needs to change his attitude and pay more attention to other person first)

Kawi makes a To-do list of things to change in the past and checks out 'mend friendship with Max' and 'make Pisaeng stay away from me'. He succeeded with those tasks. But did he really? Max probably is still upset with Kawi and doesn't feel like Kawi cares much about him, even if he apologized. And Pisaeng is mad at Kawi, even though Kawi did everything to fix things! He tried to get him friends. He payed the money he owed to Pisaeng. He said they can still be friends, there just should be a distance.

Yet everything is still shitty. Kawi cares, and worries, and he tries to make everything better – and he sucks because he's still self-focused.

Kawi doesn't want Pear to be hurt and left alone (he saw her heartbreaking photo with one ring and all the pitying/cursing comments) – he does his best to fix what went wrong, he is distancing himself from Pisaeng harshly so Pisaeng wouldn't gain feelings for Kawi (haha too late) and ruin their wedding. But Pisaeng never had feelings for Pear and he always wanted to be together with Kawi. Kawi still doesn't realize that.

Kawi doesn't want Pisaeng to get hurt and be lonely (Pear straightforwardly told him Pisaeng almost has no one and he's alone) – so he goes and arranges meeting of Pisaeng, Not and friends and actively tries to mend their relationship (he's a failure in his own friendship but he's trying to help Pisaeng as much as he can) so Pisaeng wouldn't be alone if Kawi keeps his distance. But he didn't ask Pisaeng's opinion and is clueless that Pisaeng doesn't want to be friends with Not at all. Again, he wants to be with Kawi instead, but Kawi hurts him by being honest. By saying that they can be friends but not too close: he actively tries to save Pisaeng from falling in love with him. Yet he can't express himself, his words are hurtful and out of nowhere to Pisaeng who didn't do much to Kawi yet, who didn't scare and confuse him yet.

Again, Kawi is in the beginning of his journey – he doesn't realize a lot of things, he doesn't realize how socializing and people work. He got shocked by aggressive forced kiss, he both enjoys Pisaeng's company and feels uncomfortable and unsafe. He thinks it's wrong and something he has to fix, yet he focused on completely wrong things. He has his to-do list, his standards and imaginary rules and he tries to fit himself and others in boxes, not realizing he's hurting himself and others in the process.

Kawi cares but hurts Pisaeng because he is just treating him like a task that he must do. He doesn't stop and think about carefully about other people. He doesn't pay enough attention to see that it's not what others want or need from him. 

And Pisaeng is in the beginning too – he's been experiencing one disappointment after another, with Kawi, with Pear, with Not, and he feels lonely and frustrated, and he only felt comfortable and happy with Kawi – who suddenly hurts him out of nowhere (he didn't have the burden of 12 years but Kawi carries it and pushes it onto him in his own way). He even said he didn't like Pisaeng teasing him – so Pisaeng hurt him too. It all makes him rethink and doubt their entire relationship. Which is a nail in the coffin, pretty much a mirror to the drunk, sad and lonely Pisaeng from the future.

It's all so complicated, and the change, the process of growing up and learning for both of them is slow and filled with mistakes but I love it. The characters are flawed, you don't get everything figured out magically by just changing one thing from the past. You actually have to think carefully and change yourself first before you change the past, Kawi! Listen to your heart and get what you need, not what you want. You'll get there.

#be my favorite #be my favorite series #be my favorite meta #thoughts #i am done i promise #kawi #pisaeng #pisaeng x kawi

[tloubraininfection]

SPOILERS for both games and everything TLOU!

For the longest time I thought I had it all figured out. It seemed so clear to me that:

1.Joel`s choice was utterly selfish. I understood it, I shared his view and most likely would`ve done the same, but it still felt like a transgression against Ellie.

2.Ellie wanted to be the cure even if it meant she had to die and that chance was stolen from her by the person she loved the most.

Simple, right? Sure, but also mostly wrong.

After a conversation with brilliant @ellieswlliams about the same subject all my views started to shake. And I was unable to let it go, it was bugging me so much. To the point I had to review my opinions about these subjects, because they no longer felt genuine. I’ve explored the subject of selflessness in my other note, but I really wanted to talk about Ellie and her choice. Because it seemed the most difficult thing her me to wrap my head around.

Because I still believe Ellie wanted to be the cure and it`s more than likely that she knew she`ll have to sacrifice her life and she was more than willing to do that. What I failed to examine though was why. Maybe that’s what she wanted, but why was it what she wanted? I got so stuck on the lie and the stealing away her agency and the betrayal I missed the bigger problem.

If she`s ready to sacrifice herself why not let her? What if it makes her happy? What if she wants it to be her life’s purpose? Why was I so adamant that she ought to have that choice? When it`s not really even a choice? How is it a decision if you are making it under pressure? Internal and external, under pressure from your own survivors guilt and the pressure from other people telling you it’s on you to save the whole world? And on top of that you are just a 14-year-old who barely had any time or opportunity to live for yourself. Sure, she`s robbed of that agency and that choice by both Joel and the Fireflies, but was she even supposed to have that agency in the first place? She`s a kid, the responsibility should fall on her parents!

Well, yeah, there are no parents, Ellie is an orphan who grew up in the system. The first parent figure she`s met that seems to care was Marlene and it quickly turned out she cared mostly because of her bitemark and everything that entailed, it had nothing to do with Ellie. But Joel was different, he was the first adult to care for her, to laugh at her jokes, to treat her like a kid and nothing more than a kid. Making sure she`s fed, warm and safe, but also really paying attention to her, finding comics for her, teaching her important life skills, listening to her and doing his best to preserve whatever innocence she had left. And later on the first parent figure to really love her.

I think Ellie`s motivations for wanting to be the cure come mostly from guilt. Not only the initial survivors guilt from the time she got bit, but also from everything she had to do to survive their journey. But I believe there is one more thing and it`s love. Of course she wants to save the world and all the people, but most of all she wants to save the world for Joel. Ellie really wants to save Joel back, after everything he’s done for her. I think it goes down to the fact that she loves as fiercely as he does. She wantes to lay her own life down, because she couldn’t imagine any other way to show that she loves and cares. Saving the world was about dying, not living. It`s understandable that under such conditions she feels she`s failed and all the guilt is back with vengeance.

The thing is she`s actually succeeded. Well, the world is probably doomed, but that was no fault of Ellie, but she managed to save Joel, because there is more than one way to save someone and she saved his soul, his humanity, his personhood. I wish she understood that, I wish it was something that was explored in the II part of the game.  The fact that “saving the world” can mean different things. Sometimes it`s giving a kid a future and sometimes it`s giving an old man a second chance at love and parenting. And that your great purpose in life can be being a goofy child, it can be all about you.

It`s yet another thing I was able to understand thanks to @ellieswlliams and she wrote it better than I could, so I`ll redirect you to her post:

I think it`s beautiful and I wish so much the second game was about that, about Ellie learning that living for a cause is not worse than dying for it. And that a cause can be your life, however small and insignificant. It can be all about living, learning, exploring, loving. We spend so much time in the second game violently killing, but so little time actually living. Why can’t Ellie`s immunity be just for her?

Lastly, is the world willing to sacrifice a child for its own survival even worth saving? Who are they even saving this world for? There is a brilliant story by Ursula K. Le Guin “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas” (I`m going to spoil the whole thing, so please skip this part or better yet just read it, it`s short and fantastic!). It’s a story about the utopian city of Omelas, place of endless happiness. The only catch is all that happiness is only possible because somewhere underneath the city there is a child hidden away and forced to live in perpetual suffering for the good of Omelas. Once citizens are old enough the secret is revealed to them and most of them, even though initially shocked and appalled, accept it, but there are also those who can`t. Marlene sees the injustice of Ellie`s sacrifice and she accepts it as a necessary evil, Joel on the other hand walks away carrying the child in his arms. The world will have to manage on its own.

Le Guin story ends with: "The place they go towards is a place even less imaginable to most of us than the city of happiness. I cannot describe it at all. It is possible it does not exist. But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas."

Thank you @ellieswlliams for rocking that boat and for teaching me a very important lesson!

#tlou spoilers #the last of us spoilers #tlou 2 spoilers #the last of us 2 spoilers #joel miller #ellie williams

[kittkatt678]

The Signs as MARINA Songs

*Check your sun, venus, ascendant/rising, and moon sign*

Aries: Starring Role

We all crave the spotlight, but sometimes it's like you'll die if you don't have it. It's okay to be second or third best, you know. You refuse to settle for "less" when something or someone you desire is unattainable. You tend to refuse to take no for an answer, and usually percieve it as a challenge instead. This upsets a great deal of people in your life. You need to learn to walk away. This will spare not only others, but also yourself.

Taurus: Hollywood

You're a creature of comfort and normally that isn't a bad thing. However, at times, you're too materialistic for your own good. You overindulge and forget to enjoy the simple things. Everyone deserves better, but don't overlook the great things you already possess. Otherwise, you'll find that someone else will scoop them up for themselves. Material possessions hold no sustenance. They are fleetingly fulfilling. You should focus on appreciating what you possess now and who and whatever fulfills you.

Gemini: Can't Pin Me Down

Your contradicting nature makes it impossible for anyone to pin you down. You're elusive and sometimes difficult for people to understand. Many people assume the worst of you, mostly because you don't want them to understand you and so they don't even try. You want to be undefinable and hence you undergo consistent metamorphasis and are forever changing. It must be exhausting and frustrating. You need to take a look inside yourself and see that you're complex and interesting as you are. You don't need to change all the time for people to see that. Try to be yourself, whoever that may be, and let people see the real you before they see through your masks.

Cancer: The State of Dreaming

Sometimes we don't have as much control over our lives as we'd like. It's almost as if we're all living in a play and can't deviate from the script. Your whole life feels like it's predestined and you feel as if can't make your destiny your own. This is by no means true. Your fate lies in your own two, capable hands. We are all that we make of ourselves, so don't let your choices be defined by anyone other than you. Your fate is your own and so, it's solely up to you to wake up and sculpt it.

Leo: Oh No!

You're very goal-orientated. When you want something, you'll work tirelessly to attain it. This doggedness of yours is both admirable and destructive. You have the tendency to live and set goals for the future, rather than the present. The future can wait. It's better for you to live in the here and now. Sometimes, no matter what we do, we fail. The acceptance of failure is a tough pill to swallow and swallow it you must. When you want to achieve something, you can be single-minded. So when you fail, it's disastrous. Try being more open-minded and interacting with the present.

Virgo: Are You Satisfied?

Nothing seems to be good enough for you. Your perfectionism is insatiable and hurts not only yourself but also those around you. You would rather take the more challenging path if it yielded better results. Your aptitude for success is admirable, but there is more to life than making it. You could have all the wealth in the world, and still, feel all alone. Often, this is the case. Yes, you should focus on developing your career and succeeding in life. However, it's important to place an emphasis on living your life and not working it away. Go out and kick it with friends. Live it up and have fun whenever you can, otherwise, you'll find that your work has consumed your life and that you hadn't really lived at all.

Libra: Savages

You're all about harmony and keeping the peace. You wield the powers of a diplomat and you utilize them well. However, you put up a false front as all diplomats must. You suppress your innermost thoughts and feelings. You smile and bear with everything. It's excruciating balancing those scales all the time, isn't it? You need to recognize that the scales tipping are human nature. Conflict and discord are primitive and present throughout the history of the world. The truth is, people are horrible sometimes. You can't prevent it, you can't escape it, but you can most certainly recognize it. You would also benefit from embracing it, on occasion.

Scorpio: Power and Control

You give so little and yet expect and demand so much. You want people to trust and confide in you, but in order for that to happen, you must do the same. You believe that opening up to others will leave you vulnerable and turn the tide in their favor. Relationships aren't supposed to be a rollercoaster of power and control with shifting tides. Their about being someone's equal in every matter. Equally shared trust. A balance of power. You are so afraid to relinquish your power that you'd prefer to sacrifice relationships instead. Practice giving and taking in equal measure, even though it may be scary. You'll benefit from it in the end.

Sagittarius: Primadonna

All you've ever wanted was the world, right? You're vivacious and cheerful in the eyes of others. You crave adoration and want to be liked by everyone. Your life is one of towering highs and drastic lows. You rise and then you fall. Deep down inside, you're lonesome. You need to fill your life with things that make you happy and live for yourself, not for others. Be a healthy kind of selfish, and it'll go a long way.

Capricorn: Teen Idle

You're more than capable of achieving whatever your heart desires. So why are you letting your fear of failure hold you back? You don't want to grow up and look back on your life, just to realize that you've lived one full of regret. Failure is terrifying, but so is living an unfulfilled life. Experience life to the fullest and don't let your fears stop you, otherwise, you'll find yourself wishing that you'd been a teen idle.

Aquarius: I Am Not a Robot

Believe it or not, it's not a crime to embrace your humanity. You're human after all! You have feelings and you should allow yourself to feel them. To protect yourself from the threat of others, you present this stone-cold exterior to ward people off. You need warmth, affection, and attention just like anyone else. It won't kill you to seek it out either, although it may feel that way at first. You have to learn that not everyone is out to get you. You're doing yourself more harm than good by shutting people out. Let others in, let them know you, and let them see you. It'll be worth it in the end.

Pisces: Lies

We all have those attachments and relationships that we know that we shouldn't have. Yet, we still yearn for and maintain them. Sometimes we prefer to hear and conjure lies rather than tell ourselves the truth as the truth is usually too painful to bear. You need to leave your dream world of lies and start making your own reality. Why dream of a world full of fake love when you deserve to find and experience it in real life?

#MARINA #marina and the diamonds #astrology #zodiac signs #zodiac signs as #pink #hot pink #pink aesthetic #word of advice #sun signs #moon signs #venus signs #rising signs #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces