#familyabuse

[parricidepodcast]

Episode 33 Pt. 1: The Wolf You Feed - Jesse Winnick

#youtube #jessewinnick #hadaswinnick #amywinnick #amychesler #shermanwinnick #familyabuse #domesticviolence #matricide #parricide #kidswhokill #murderkids #parricidepodcast #parricideprevention #Jessicawiseman #christhomas #timebomb #erratic

[leegpoetry]

No one has ever cared. From my chapbook That Time a Fish Loved a Bird [link in bio]. ... @buttonpoetry @poets @poetryfoundation @poetrydaily365 @poeticreveries_ ... #poemoftheday #poetrylovers #poetrycommunity #poemsofinstagram #poems #instapoetry #poets #poet #writersofinstagram #poetsofinstagram #abuse #familyabuse #anger #angrypoems #sadpoems #lesbianwriter #instapoem #poetrygram https://www.instagram.com/p/ChAD0dVLXQH/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#poemoftheday #poetrylovers #poetrycommunity #poemsofinstagram #poems #instapoetry #poets #poet #writersofinstagram #poetsofinstagram #abuse #familyabuse #anger #angrypoems #sadpoems #lesbianwriter #instapoem #poetrygram

[b2379n]

I believed- (Original Work)

I believed that last night was the last time I believed in you. Your anger still stays in my empty memories.

Mind blanks, where all you do is get mad at me.

Tell me, “I’m the dumbest mathematician ever.” and when I write down on my paper, I’m dumb, you get mad at me.

Get mad at how I backchat, while you tear my self-esteem down.

Jokingly dance around me singing I’m fat.

You lie to people about what I dream to become when I am older,

lie about my grades. Why?

I don’t fail, but I don’t get awards either.

What’s wrong with becoming a firefighter, or a police officer?

Why is that lame to you?

You did hurt me on purpose

Why?

I thought families weren’t supposed to break.

They even have I love you on the end of the word.

They are supposed to be a place where you can come home.

But not here, not in my home. 

But then I feel the pain heart is too much to carry.

I go to bed, bones aching, heartbreaking, head in a swirl of confusion, eyes, chocking back every tear.

Sometimes, successful, sometimes not.

While you go to bed angry but with peace.

I want to run away from reality.

Go inside my head where everything seems too good to be true. Where I can dance around Abby, singing with cruise, fly a dragon, animals talking, where peter-pan takes your hand and time stops ticking.

To another place that ever exists

Far away from the hurt, we had created together.

That belongs to us alone and nobody else.

What happened to the family I knew?

Who is this new family I am a part of?

I believed in your intentions and your love.

At one stage, we all talked about our love as a family

now it’s just religion and opinions.

What happened to the love?

I believed the past could be recreated.

I believed in the smiles we had shared side by side united.

I’m sorry for the way things turned out surely was not only my fault but ours.

I’m sorry for yelling and shouting at you every single day,

but to be quite frank…You do it to me.

You threw anything your hands could reach,

But I couldn’t hold your hand down, protecting myself from the punches and slaps.

Couldn’t even run away from you so I wouldn’t get hurt.

I didn’t like how everything turned out to be. 

At one stage somewhere many years ago, something changed.

Something happened.

I don’t know what.

But we aren’t the same family we had. 

In a place a long time ago.

Holding me in your arms, dancing and singing, playing games when we were bored.

What happened?

Amused by little things, Laughing when we recall a funny memory

Laughing because we were happy.

It’s all in the past, sadly. 

All our happy moments and memories

While in the present is hurt, pain, heartbreak

I believed we could always be happy.

But something happened that I want to know why.

#original poetry #sad #family #heartbreak #familyheartbreak #abuse #familyabuse

[eunee0808]

This is Love?

After school ended, as I was about to leave school, I would always recall all the other kids smiling and laughing with their parents when they got picked up. I never understood that. I didn't want to go home.

I’m pretty sure I was the most pitiful child in the world.

I came to the terms that my family hates me.

I was never a problematic child, in fact, I was a good student. I received great grades in class, where other kids would make fun of me for being a teacher’s pet. But my parents sure treated me like one. In their eyes, I was the most troubling, mischievous child in the world.

For example, I had to go home by 5:00 p.m. every day.

I wasn't allowed to have fun like other kids, or go to the playground and play basketball. I wasn't allowed to have friends over to play, nor was I allowed to go to anyone else's house.

I had to finish my school homework right after I arrived from school, no matter how long it took. I wasn't allowed to eat, play video games, or go outside until I was finished.

After I finished my school homework and ate dinner, I had to do different homework that's not even from school, and I had to finish that as well! My parents made to read a book every day, and write a book report about the book to prove that I actually read it!

Now, although I have strict parents and rules, this wasn't what made me so miserable.

What made me so miserably frustrated was how my parents didn't seem to love me, which hurts me the most.

I wish my parents loved me. I was always envious of other kids going to Disneyworld with their family, while I was stuck at home having to study all day.

My mother was a stern woman who unracked my nerves all the time, making me feel guilty of accidents or mistakes I've made.

The only conversations we had were when she would wake me up, call me to come downstairs to eat breakfast, dinner or ask me about my grades and homework.

My father only knew one emotion towards me: anger.

The only time he would speak to me was when he shouted at me for my declining grades or beat me for misbehaving.

He would beat me like a dog with whatever he pleased.

Only at times like this was when my mother would be caring towards me.

When I cry myself to sleep at night, my mother would come into my room, and tell me that my father hit me out of love.

“Sweetheart, are you alright? You know your father loves you. He hit you because he loves you. You’ll understand when you get older.” My mother would say this like a broken radio whenever I got beaten.

How is this love? How could father beat me out of love?

I wish my parents died.

Without them, I would be so much happier...

Whenever I get feelings like this, I begin to feel extremely guilty.

Is it wrong for me to wish death upon my parents?

At night, I would always dream of when my parents loved me as a child when they would hold my hand and walk me to the playground when they would hug me and read storybooks for me to sleep to.

I think about those days and miss them dearly every night.

Imaged Retrieved from: https://www.mcgill.ca/newsroom/channels/news/different-types-child-abuse-similar-consequences-256068

Image Retrieved from: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/AbusiveParents/AnimeAndManga

#mother #family #crwr213 #creativewriting213 #abusivefamily #familyabuse #emotionalabuse #story #creativewriting #mixedfeelings

[cultvault]

Episode 97 explores the family environment and how this can be just as destructive as groups with numbers in the thousands. Here is @athronmusic speaking about his experiences with almost leading a double life between home and school. Anyone else feel like they had two sides to themselves growing up in their controlling environment? Find the link to Athron’s music in the episode description and check @tassle_xyz for awesome audiograms! #familyculture #cults #cults3d #cultshit #cultsurvivor #familyabuse #paternity #paternitytest #abusesurvivor #abusesurvivor #abuseawareness #abuserecovery #abuseisabuse #abusers #podcasts #podcastsofinstagram #podcastshow #applepodcasts #podcaststudio #igotout #balitravel #balisong #balimusic #twolives #musicianslife #musiciansofig #survivorvoices #survıvor #interviewtips #interviewquestions #interviewprep https://www.instagram.com/p/CO3eH66gVXY/?igshid=1xg372e7sfvsc

#familyculture #cults #cults3d #cultshit #cultsurvivor #familyabuse #paternity #paternitytest #abusesurvivor #abuseawareness #abuserecovery #abuseisabuse #abusers #podcasts #podcastsofinstagram #podcastshow #applepodcasts #podcaststudio #igotout #balitravel #balisong #balimusic #twolives #musicianslife #musiciansofig #survivorvoices #survıvor #interviewtips #interviewquestions #interviewprep

[lauriewoodward]

Finding Joy: A Novel Excerpt

Finding Joy: A Novel Excerpt

I hardly recognized the girl that stepped off the boat. Could that tanned kid twittering away with other girls, wide grin showing the gap between her teeth, be my daughter? Not trusting my own eyes, I raised my hand in a tentative wave. “Stop making a spectacle of yourself,” Ron hissed under his breath. He wrapped an arm around my waist and dug his fingers into the soft flesh under my…

View On WordPress

#depression #domesticabuse #familyabuse #findingjoy #lauriewoodwardauthor #nextchapterpub #novelwriting

[ivetasimone]

#womenviolence #familyabuse #reminder (at Auckland, New Zealand) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaBanahhvTp/?utm_medium=tumblr

#womenviolence #familyabuse #reminder

[greeninkradio]

Scary Sibs: Save Your Ass-ets, Episode 30

#covertnarcissist #dysfunctionalfamily #familialabuse #familyabuse #narcissisticboss #narcissticabuse #npd #plagiarism #siblingrivalry #stealing #theft

[thesadbudhist]

I'm done with being everyone's punching bag... I want it to stop... You are the reason I'm here... Now you hit me, insult me, spit in my face... But when other people are around, you're the sweetest person... No one could imagine you to abuse people... I just want it to end, with you stopping or with me dieing, and I'm done waiting...

#death #die #selfharm #self hate #hate #nolove #suicide #abuse #familyabuse #anna #ana #mia #miia #annamiia #ed

[oliviacastetter]

Every single time I have a conversation about the trauma in my life, I'm reminded of the trauma in my family. That's their story to tell - much of it happened before I was born - though I want to comment on one aspect. The trauma my family members faced wasn't always addressed, they weren't always supported. That trauma skewed their worldview. Then, they passed some of that trauma onto me before I ever had the chance to develop my own worldview. And when I was sexually assaulted by a second, then a third, person, my family's unacknowledged trauma resulted in me feeling unsupported and unloved as I dealt with it. So I dealt with it the best I knew how with the support system I was able to build from my friends, some who knew what had happened at the time and some who didn't. (Thank you, Jason, Hannah, and Josh for that.) Nonetheless, it's taken nearly ten years to unpack what happened when I was 17-18, and as I've delved into it, I've seen the generations of trauma in my family of origin. And as much as I want it to stop with me, it's a daily fear that I'll fail, that I'll pass it on to my children, too. I refuse to let the fear control me, yet it lingers. This Saturday, @endoftheinnocence_org will host a special virtual event at 11 AM Pacific Time (2 PM Eastern) called "Life After Trauma," where we will discuss trauma after sexual assault and how we cope with it in our daily lives. To learn more or register to attend, please visit the link in my bio. ... #metoo #metoomovement #sexualabuse #sexualassault #sexualharassment #familyabuse #trauma #traumarecovery #cptsdrecovery #cptsdawareness #ednos #ednosrecovery #keeptalkingmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #event https://www.instagram.com/p/CRUp88lLJfQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

#metoo #metoomovement #sexualabuse #sexualassault #sexualharassment #familyabuse #trauma #traumarecovery #cptsdrecovery #cptsdawareness #ednos #ednosrecovery #keeptalkingmentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #event

[rubydoll311]

This is a message my mom cowardly sent to my son! I’m beyond livid, instead of talking to me like an adult she messages my son this garbage. Deadnaming and misgendering me all at the same time. And this is exactly the reason why I don’t visit her in the first place, she constantly deadnames and misgenders me and she has even said that she thought I had only been in transition for 6 months when it’s been nearly four years. I’m done, I tried and I’m not sorry. You do NOT have to continuously take abuse because “they’re family” if a situation is toxic and you are an adult, walk the fuck away. You don’t owe anyone anything. #rubydoll #girlslikeus #transstruggles #familyabuse

#rubydoll #girlslikeus #transstruggles #familyabuse

[gaefampoets]

Maturity - Aki Art credit: https://jhoselyntheartistblog.wordpress.com/2016/12/18/my-trauma/ #trauma #childhoodtraumasurvivor #familyabuse #PTSD #wontshutup #mature #itllbeokayintheend #narcissticabusesurvivor #didnthaveachildhood #familytrauma #neglect poetryofinstagram #queerpoets #poetryisnotdead #poems #poets #lgbtqpoets #poetryislife #poetrycommunity #poetsociety https://www.instagram.com/p/CFYNYodFDc1/?igshid=j9pl71uhuijt

#trauma #childhoodtraumasurvivor #familyabuse #ptsd #wontshutup #mature #itllbeokayintheend #narcissticabusesurvivor #didnthaveachildhood #familytrauma #neglect #queerpoets #poetryisnotdead #poems #poets #lgbtqpoets #poetryislife #poetrycommunity #poetsociety

[eunee0808]

Unable to Forgive, Unable to Forget

My family is a normal-looking family with a story that is common that should not be common, with memories that are unforgettable that I should never forget.

Something that I will never be able to forget.

My family immigrated to the States when I was five years old, with no money or ability to speak English. I didn’t know what my father did, right now he’s working a blue-collar job as a plumber. I’m pretty sure he did construction work or some other type of labour work when we first arrived here. After all, he can’t speak English,

My family was oddly fixated on education and only my education, as I was forced to study, write, and do homework without having any “playtime” as a child.

My family would beat me if I didn’t live up to their expectations.

At one point, I’m pretty sure I wanted them to die.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t plan to kill them or anything. I just hated getting beat up every weekend and being forced to study for hours as a child.

But the thing that irritates me the most, is that I can not hate them.

My mother would starve meals to give me the most nutritious meals for years. My dad never complained about his small portions as long as I ate well.

My dad worked overtime for hours doing a manual job and would spend most of his paycheck saving up on my college tuition. Most of the money would go towards my studying books.

It’s his blood and sweat that allowed me to go to college without any concern.

I was fearful of my parents as a child. I thought they were monsters. They terrified me as a child.

Now, they are old, tired, and smaller than I ever thought. What once I considered a monster as a child is so frail.

My father’s body is physically drained from all the manual labour work he did and is still doing.

When I was a teenager, I dreamt of throwing my parents away when I grow up into an adult. I wanted to fly away from them forever. It was my dream to cut ties with them, the only thing that actually motivated me to study hard.

They cost me so much trauma and pain, yet I know they would do anything for me to the point where it hurts.

I want to yell at them, scream at them, question them why they would just beat me up like a dog, but I’m also thankful for them.

I’m okay with it now. It doesn’t burden me as heavily as it once did. My dad does not scream or beat me up anymore, my mother never expresses her disappointment or scolds me. But my heart, in some way, remains broken by them.

It’s suffocating for me. I want to hate my parents.

I want to forgive them, but I can’t.

I was raised with abuse and fear, under the disguise of love.

Image Retrieved from: https://kottke.org/20/07/iso-isolation

Image Retrieved from: https://scene360.com/art/48869/mixed-emotions/

#mother #family #crwr213 #creativewriting213 #abusivefamily #familyabuse #emotionalabuse #story #creativewriting #mixedfeelings #trauma #childhood trauma

[uncommonnpraxis]

Escaping my past.

Now’s about the time I say I’m a better person than I was yesterday. However, I’m not so sure I can say this is the case. Since the day my grandmother passed, I’ve been striving to move forward and live the way she wanted me to. This would be possible if only my first abuser could be erased from my life. Not so easy when it’s one’s own mother. I dove head first into the stormy waters and I’m keeping my head up as I make my way to clearer skies. The issue is, she’s the water. All around me and pulling me under every so often. Her words are the cracking thunder, there to stun and hold me still in time, prohibiting my next move forward. The lightning is the flashbacks that make me lose my way, causing me to be thrusted back underneath the surface of the sea.  And every time I think I’m almost there...she strikes again. It’s her life goal to ruin mine the way that she did hers. And she could almost succeed each time if I hadn’t taken back control and gained more strength that I didn’t even know I had left. So this evening I received messages from her in my blocked folder, telling me that I will be kicked from my current insurance plan in 2 days, knowing very well that my vehicle is how I make money currently. I would have normally freaked out but I came up with a plan in 4 minutes flat. And I also didn’t let her ruin my whole day...This is a major breakthrough for me. I can’t say it’s a full victory, unfortunately. I still cursed her name and had bad thoughts about myself. I hope the day comes where I no longer hold onto the bad memories and I can just ignore it all together. I want her to get better.....but I want myself to get better, more than her. So I gave up on her after 32 years...and it’s been a very difficult situation to maneuver through. My dad’s picked up the slack but he has so many years worth of pieces to put back together. It’s a bit unfair to him...but everything in due time...

#stormydays #firstabuser #familyabuse #trauma #ptsd #familypraxis

[grieflosstrauma]

Yes, DV happens everywhere. A story and moral: Years ago, I was being abused by my ex. I screamed and slammed the walls, to gain attention of neighbours. Nobody came to check on me. Next day I received a letter from the strata of the building saying I was being too noisy and that their building and neighbourhood is a "respectable area" and they won't tolerate "such behaviour" and "philandering". I felt humiliated and cried. A part of me wanted to send them a reply saying, "please call the police next time you hear noise from my apartment because I am scared of this man". I wanted to write them details of what he had done to me that night and make them feel... Something. Maybe guilt. Maybe care. Instead, I ripped up the letter to try and let go, and eventually got enough courage to call the police on him myself one day. The moral of the story is, because these people felt "NOT MY NEIGHBOURHOOD", I was abused that night and repeatedly many times over. If someone had called the police or atleast knocked on my door, abuse could have been prevented. How many other women are in the same situation? How many other children are on the same situation? How many men are in the same situation? It will take a minute for you to call the police or Crimestoppers. You can even choose to remain anonymous, you could even knock on the door if you're feeling brave. Even if you don't know it's someone being abused, even if it sounds like loud music, or "philandering". It might be an inconvenience for you, but for all you know, you could save a life... Or even many lives. 💖 . . . #domesticabuse #Domesticviolence #familyabuse #heartbrokengirl #narcex #narcissistabuse #dvsurvivors #domesticabusesurvivor #domesticabuseawareness #dvalert #dvconnect #dv #dfv #domesticandfamilyviolence #abusiverelationships #smashthepatriarchy #feministan #feminista #endthepatriarchy #endpatriarchy #narcopath #crimestoppers #femaleempowerment #womenempowerment #courageouswomen #notinmyhouse #notinmyneighborhood #notinmyname #notinmycity #notinmyfamily (at Sydney, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CB5KhFnH4fx/?igshid=1p0tl956rhpjr

#domesticabuse #domesticviolence #familyabuse #heartbrokengirl #narcex #narcissistabuse #dvsurvivors #domesticabusesurvivor #domesticabuseawareness #dvalert #dvconnect #dv #dfv #domesticandfamilyviolence #abusiverelationships #smashthepatriarchy #feministan #feminista #endthepatriarchy #endpatriarchy #narcopath #crimestoppers #femaleempowerment #womenempowerment #courageouswomen #notinmyhouse #notinmyneighborhood #notinmyname #notinmycity #notinmyfamily

[ikingamongstkings]

New Post! 5/05/2020 “Break Free from Toxicity..#FamilyEdition” Excerpt: “I’m not sure who coined or birth this proverb/phrase, but I believe it caused more harm than the good it was probably intended to do. When we consider the toxic mindsets and behaviors that are nourished within bloodlines and passed down from generation to generation, it is impossible to not see how we misappropriated tolerance, and in most cases, valued a corrupted definition of love. The results of this are evident according to the fruits it bore. Many have suffered in silence, and were FORCED to carry the undue burden called “generational curses”, passed down from one womb to the next, or from one seed to the next....”.. LINK IN BIO! #CorwinLGuilliams #Coach . . . #ikingAmongstKings #familyabuse #toxicrelationships #toxicpeople #selflove #selfencouragement #selfdevelopment #identity #image #Jesus #writer #author https://www.instagram.com/p/B_1Co3dlnZ9/?igshid=14o0cgyhs51p

#familyedition #corwinlguilliams #coach #ikingamongstkings #familyabuse #toxicrelationships #toxicpeople #selflove #selfencouragement #selfdevelopment #identity #image #jesus #writer #author