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procrastinatingsapphictrash · 3 years

Text

Can’t get over her

Word count: 5010

Genre: A little angst with a little fluff

Pairing: Natasha x fem!reader

Warnings: Little bit of swearing (let me know if I need to add more)

Summary: Reader has always had a bit of a crush on Natasha but it’s unrequited. She lets Tony and Wanda take her to a club and Nat starts acting differently.

A/N: This is not a request, I just felt like writing this story. I’m super nervous about this because I’m not sure if it’s very good but I thought I would post it in case anyone is interested. This is my first x reader fic and first Natasha/Marvel fic so I wasn’t sure how to write it. That being said I hope you enjoy, and if you do, I’m always open to take requests! Btw this is completely unimportant but even though this fic is a medium length, it’s the longest story I’ve actually completed so I feel proud of myself for that!

“Y/n!” A voice rang out loudly disrupting your sleep.

“Ughhhh,” you groaned, “what do you want?” Instead of an answer the door to your room gets thrown open loudly, allowing all the light to come in. You bury yourself under the blankets, partly to stop your eyes from seeing the light and partly to hide the fact that you were wearing Avengers themed pyjamas.

“Rise and shine sweetheart!” You hear Tony’s voice mock. Reluctantly you poke your head out of the blankets just enough so you can see and squint at your best friend/mentor just in time to see him rush off, probably to wake up another unfortunate avenger. When you first joined you never expected to like Tony at all, much less consider him your best friend or look up to him. You had heard rumors of him being inappropriate with women and while his jokes most certainly were and you did occasionally catch him staring at your boobs he never did anything creepy to make you uncomfortable and inside he was a good man, way more so than you expected.

All that in mind you decide to get out of bed to see why Tony woke you up because he (probably) wouldn’t wake you up for no reason. Taking a minute to change out of the avenger pyjamas and into some clothes as well as brush your hair you wander downstairs. On the way down you bump into Clint who unlike you has made absolutely no effort to look presentable and looks like he just rolled out of bed. You say a quick hello but he just grunts in return, not even looking at you. Inwardly laughing about how much Clint hates to be awake in the morning you continue downstairs to meet up with the rest of the avengers who are varying degrees of awake. Most seemed to be like you; awake and fairly alert but not happy about it. Clint was probably the most asleep and Tony the most awake considering he was practically bouncing off the walls. Looking around you see everyone except for Thor and Natasha. Thor wasn’t there very often because he wasn’t from earth and Natasha usually avoided group activities at all costs to your displeasure since you had a secret (not very secret) crush on the assassin.

“So why did you wake us up, at an ungodly hour may I add, and bring us down here?” You ask Tony, curious.

“That information is above your clearance level.” He replies somewhat sarcastically.

“Does anybody else know what is going on?” you ask. “Or did Tony wake me up for no reason, in which case I’m going back to bed.” They all shift guiltily on their feet except for Clint who seems to be still too tired to pay attention leading you to believe they are all up to something you wouldn’t like. Nobody answers your question so you glare around the room, your eyes landing on Steve. He almost squirms under your gaze and eventually seems to give in.

“I’m sorry Y/N, this wasn’t my idea and thinking back on it we probably shouldn’t-”

“We are giving you a makeover and finding you a date.” Tony cuts Steve off.

“Seriously??!??!??” You half shout. “What makes you think I want to go on some random date you guys set up? If I want to go on a date I can find one myself.”

“Y/N…” Wanda says softly, reminding you to stay calm.

“Don’t Y/n me,” you say, still angrily yet quieter, “I can find my own dates, thank you very much.” Tony gives a small snort of laughter in response to this.

“Sure you can kid. I mean it’s not like you haven’t been on a date in over two years. Or that you’re harboring a crush for our resident scary assassin that prevents you from dating others.” You glare at him but stay silent because all of what he said is true. In your head you excuse the not dating off as being busy because you are a hero yet almost everybody on the team is dating someone and it all seems to be working out fine.

“Look Y/n,” Tony says softly which is a rarity for him, “I know you wish something could happen between you and Romanoff but it hasn’t happened yet and likely never will. You need to get over her and back out there. Besides we weren’t planning on choosing your date for you, we were just planning to go clubbing later with you.”

“Ok,” you agree begrudgingly, “I’ll do it, I just don’t see the need to wake me up at 7 in the morning if we aren’t going out until tonight. Also does everybody need to be here right now?”

“I second that,” Clint says in a voice still rough from sleep, “just because I helped planning a little bit does not mean I had to wake up early to have this conversation. I’m going back to bed.”

Wanda rolls her eyes at him before turning to you, “No not everyone has to be here right now, Tony just got a little over excited. As for you, as we said we are giving you a makeover which means we have to go to the hair appointment I set up plus I was thinking we could go shopping since we almost never have time to. Besides Natasha gets back from her solo mission sometime later today, so we wanted to talk with you when she wasn’t around.”

“Ok,” you respond with a little bit of excitement, “when do we leave?”

“Right now! We can have brunch while we’re out!”

“Yes and then we can go get our nails done and gossip!” Tony says in a fake voice. Both you and Wanda turn to look at him exasperated. “Ok fine, maybe not but I am coming and we are gossiping. Also I need to find a good birthday present for Pepper’s birthday next week.”

“Well that’s good you’re coming because unless you want the same reaction as last year, you’re going to need a lot of help.” Wanda replies. You laugh a little as the three of you leave the tower, Wanda and Tony continuing their mock argument about Tony’s gift giving skills.

Five hours later and you severely regretted going along with their plan. You were already exhausted and still had so much to do before going clubbing. You had already bought an outfit plus a few others which wouldn’t be so bad except Wanda and Tony made you try on what you believed to be the whole store before they seemed satisfied with your look. You had also gotten your nails done and were currently finishing up a lovely brunch which consisted of waffles, maple syrup and some fruits. That would have been enjoyable if not for the fact that Tony and Wanda alternated between nagging you about not chipping a nail and teasing you about your pathetic love life. It was a well known fact in the tower that while they didn’t hate each other, Tony and Wanda didn’t usually get along well but that was probably for the best since together they were ruthless. They seemed to have decided that the time for brunch was over so sighing you followed them out of the restaurant after Tony paid the bill. That’s the one positive at least, all of it was free for you thanks to Tony.

Another five hours later and you could honestly say you were looking forward to the night more than you thought you would. You were currently looking in the mirror in your room and although usually you tended to be indifferent towards your body, sometimes even insecure, you had to admit that you looked pretty hot. The dress was in the perfect colour to bring out your eyes according to Wanda and although it was the perfect balance between classy and slutty, revealing a bit of skin and showing off your assets while still leaving it to the imagination. You also were carrying a black purse which matched your nails and shoes. Your makeup was perfectly done, naturally showing you beauty but adding a little extra glimmer. The thing you were most proud of however and the most noticeable change you had made was your hair. Before you had hair that when completely straight could reach your waist but now it was barely long enough to tuck behind your ears. When you first got to the hair salon you were planning on just trimming it and straightening in it but when you got in the chair something came over you and you just decided to chop it all off.

BANG! The door to your room barges open and Wanda comes flying in.

“Damn girl! You look hot as fuck!” You blush profusely at her words managing to stammer out a thank you. You have never been good at taking compliments because you always get a little shy and awkward.

Tony pokes his head around the doorframe and gives a whistle. “You are smoking hot Y/n, I mean if I didn’t have Pepper I would be all over you. You ready to go?” Not waiting for an answer he turns and starts towards the elevator. You follow but not before exchanging an eye roll with Wanda about Tony’s words. The elevator ride is short and smooth thanks to Tony’s engineering so you don’t have enough time to succumb to the urge of placing your hands on the bars and pushing while lifting your feet. The elevator beeps, Jarvis informing you that you’ve reached the ground level and the doors open. You step out ready to get on with your night but the sight of Natasha just back from a mission freezes you in your tracks.

“Hi,” you say lamely, “I thought you were supposed to get back earlier today?”

“We had some intel that wasn’t fully correct but luckily it didn’t take too long to fix. You look different, where are you heading off to?”

You glance at Tony and Wanda for help because for some reason you feel awkward telling her but they don’t seem to know what you want so you answer anyways. “We’re going clubbing, I’m kinda nervous since I haven’t been in awhile but Wanda helped me get ready-”

“Hey I helped too!”

You ignore Tony’s protest and continue to speak. “-and I think it should be fun. Also there will for sure be hot girls there which is always a plus.”

“Seems like it should be fun,” she responds in her monotone ‘I don’t care’ voice that you hate, “Good luck with the girls though, because your hair looked better long, I don’t like it like this.” You don’t usually get offended easily but you feel tears spring to your eyes at her comment. The only good part is that she doesn’t notice because she’s already walking away, swaying her hips, either not knowing or caring that she hurt you.

Tony and Wanda rush over to you. “Oh sweetie,” Wanda comforts while wrapping an arm around you, “don’t listen to her, that’s not true at all!”

“Then why would she say it?” You ask, careful to keep your voice from cracking because you hated showing when you were upset.

“I don’t know and honestly I don’t give a fuck.” Tony replies. “Just don’t think about it too much, the whole point of this night is to get over her anyways.” You give him a small smile at that. Tony is good with words which translates into being good at comforting people. You know he’s right so although the comment is still upsetting you do your best to push it out of your mind. Locking arms with both Tony and Wanda you pull them towards the door and into the waiting limo. You couldn’t help but smile at the way Tony ruffled your hair as you stepped in or how Wanda kept running her fingers over her arm in an attempt to be reassuring. You had the best friends.

The ride over seemed way shorter than it was supposed to be and before you knew it the limo was stopped to let the three of you out. You take a deep breath and wipe your sweaty palms on your dress before smiling and stepping out after Tony and Wanda. Nobody seems to have noticed the three of you yet which was a good thing. Being Avengers Tony and Wanda were pretty much celebrities and often got swarmed by groups of fans. Technically you were an avenger as well but like Natasha and Clint it was only because you were a Shield so while you did get recognized it wasn’t as often and only tended to happen if you were with other avengers. You make your way inside, splitting from Tony and Wanda at the door. The plan was for them to go to the bar and look over you from there while you went straight to the dance floor because you preferred to be anonymous tonight and they would ruin that and also you didn’t feel like getting drunk. That was the plan at least but you suspected that they would get too drunk to continue watching over you because it had been stressful lately with a lot of paperwork and they needed to unwind. Wanda had practically confirmed that fact when she gave you permission to leave without them.

You step over to the dance floor glancing around to see if there looked to be any single women already there. The reason you had chosen this club was because although it wasn’t lgbtq+ exclusive, it was open to everybody and therefore frequented by many members of the community.

Just as you were glancing around you felt a tap on your shoulder. “Wanna dance?” You spin around to find the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen, apart from Natasha. It bothers you that you’re using Natasha as your standard and comparing other girls to her but you brush that off.

“I would love to!” At your response she takes your hand, pulling you into the crowd and starts to dance. You dance as well and slowly you lose track of time as you loosen up and your dancing with the girl becomes less and less innocent. You can feel yourself caring less about what Natasha thought although as great as this girl seemed to be you knew you weren’t ready for a relationship so you hoped she wasn’t looking for one. After what could be a couple of hours because you’ve completely lost track of time, you and the girl whose name you still don’t know head over to a corner of the room and take a seat on two of the stools that were provided.

“Hi, I feel like I should know your name by now, I’m Y/n.” You introduce yourself.

“Wait I thought you looked familiar!” She exclaims. “You’re the Y/n that’s a part of the avengers right?”

You awkwardly give a nod and gesture towards the bar where you can see Tony and Wanda who have obviously had at least a few drinks each. “Tony and Wanda came with me. They are just over there but I didn’t particularly want the spotlight tonight so I split from them at the door.”

“I understand, I must admit I have no desire to be famous. I’m Jamie by the way” She says with a cute little giggle before her mood seems to be more solemn. “I can’t believe I’m saying this to a literal avenger and if my friends find out they are going to kill me but I’m sorry if you’re looking for a relationship but I just got out of a serious relationship and am not ready for another one quite yet.”

You let out a relieved sigh. “I’m not looking for a relationship either, because I’m trying to get over my feelings for a friend.”

“Phew!” She replies. “But tell me more about this ‘friend’ of yours.” You take a minute to think before deciding that Jamie could be trusted. You begin to spill all about your feelings for Natasha and how she didn’t seem interested and what she said to you on your way here. Jamie listens sympathetically the entire time before telling you all about how she thought her ex was the one but it turns out she was emotionally abusive. Even though you just met you talk like old friends, offering advice on serious topics but also chatting about random things. You have 3 more drinks each and after every drink your barriers crumble more and more. Eventually you exchange numbers so you can meet up again although you both agreed it would be a platonic meetup. Just as you were giggling about a joke you couldn’t even remember, you saw Jamie tense up and a second later you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turn your head in anger expecting it to be some creepy guy trying to hit on you but it turns to confusion when you see Natasha.

“Can we talk?” She asks, giving Jamie a dirty look. “At the tower. Without her.”

“Why?” You ask. “I’m having fun here Nat.” You specifically say her name as you speak so Jamie knows who you’re talking to.

“Just come home.” She says not answering your question, instead tugging at your wrist lightly. You sigh not knowing what to do so you glance at Jamie for help.

She shrugs and then says, “I have a ride home planned if you want to leave, but I wouldn’t mind staying longer if that’s what you want.”

You make a quick decision in your head before responding, “Ok, we’ll go back to the tower but there better be a good reason.” You then turn to Jamie, “Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe, and then we can figure out when to hang out.”

“Of course,” she agrees leaning forwards to hug you while whispering in your ear, “good luck but remember not to let her treat you badly just because you’re in love with her.” You pull back from the hug and smile at her as Natasha’s hand moves down to your own as she starts walking, pulling you along with her. You can barely think straight, you have no idea what is going on with Natasha or why she’s acting so weirdly. You glance over to Tony and Wanda to see if they’ve noticed what’s going on but just as you suspected they were drunk out of their minds. If they were normal friends you would have worried about them but you knew Tony’s drivers would get them home safe because although Tony was more responsible with Pepper around this was not the first time they’ve had to haul his drunk ass back to the tower.

Natasha continues to pull you out the door and over to her parked motorcycle where she hands you a helmet and one of her leather jackets. Still not speaking she hops on and motions for you to get on behind her. You swing your leg over the side somewhat awkwardly and scoot forwards so you can grab onto her waist. Once she’s sure you’re secured properly she hits the gas, the motorcycle roaring as it starts. You’ve never been on her motorcycle before so at first you are a bit nervous but after a couple of minutes you start to feel more comfortable. At this point your only nerves come from holding Natasha and wondering what she wants to talk to you about and not the motorcycle ride. Compared to the ride over to the club, this ride feels like it’s taking forever as you start to go over all the important reasons Nat would want to talk to you. You still didn’t know how to feel about everything because she insulted you earlier and now is making you feel important. To protect your feelings you tell yourself that there is probably a mission or a meeting that came up last minute and this isn’t just Natasha wanting to talk. It’s improbable because if that was the case she would have outright said so but you can’t think of any more plausible reasons off the top of your head. Luckily before you can analyze her strange behavior anymore you reach the tower and after parking underground you follow Natasha upstairs into the main living area which is obviously deserted as it is now between 3 and 4 am.

“So why did you want to talk?” You ask, breaking the silence as you take a seat on the couch.

“Why did you go to a club?” She asks, also sitting down on the other end of the couch, avoiding your question.

A surge of anger floods through you and while you don’t shout, you raise your voice a little. “Answer the fucking question Nat. Or did you bring me all the way back just to ask that?”

She looks somewhat surprised that you raised your voice but she keeps hers even. “I just wanted to know. It looked like you were having fun with whoever that girl is.”

“Yeah I was.” You respond, still confused. “But how do you know that?”

Natasha avoids eye contact looking everywhere but you. “I was watching you.”

“YOU WERE WHAT?” You shout before lowering your voice to avoid waking up the whole tower. “Why the fuck were you spying on me?”

“I- I wasn’t.” She replies seemingly caught off guard by your tone of voice. “I wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“Tony and Wanda were with me.” You respond confused. There’s something she’s not telling you that’s making her act weird. She knew you could handle yourself so she obviously was not telling the truth, or at least omitting details. She hasn’t responded to your last statement, instead choosing to look at you in the weird way she does that makes you feel like you’re being interrogated. You decide that if she isn’t going to talk, you won’t either so you pull your phone out of your jacket to check it. You see a text from Jamie saying she got home ok with a little smiley face at the end that causes you to smile. You type back a quick reply, just saying you’re glad she’s safe and that you were with Natasha right now and were probably going to bed soon so you’d text her tomorrow. She wished you luck and goodnight with another little smiley face that made you smile again. Putting your phone away you look back up at Natasha only to find out she’s glaring at you.

Unsure of what could have changed her attitude towards you, you ask, “What?”

“Who were you talking to?” She asks ignoring your question for the second time tonight.

You sigh, “I don’t see how it’s any of your business but if you really must know I was just saying goodnight to the girl from the club, Jamie.”

“So that’s her name.” She says wrinkling her nose. Now you’re really confused as to what Natasha is thinking. You couldn’t tell on normal days but usually she acted rationally and never was like this.

“Why do you say it like that?” You ask.

“I don’t like her.”

“Why don’t you like her?”

“I just don’t.” She answers, offering no explanation. Although you do want to find out why Natasha doesn’t like her you’re too tired to spend the time asking questions so you stand up to go to bed.

“Where are you going?” She demands.

You sigh for what feels like the thousandth time of the night. “I’m going to bed. You wanted to talk to me but won’t actually talk, and when I ask you questions, instead of responding you insult my new friend.”

“Friend?” She questions.

“Jamie.” You say confused because you thought the answer was obvious.

“Oh.” She responds, “I’m sorry, please stay.” You think about it for a second, deciding to stay so you go to sit down again, but before you do Natasha scoots over to your end of the couch pulling you down into her side. Your entire body freezes up because you’re so unsure of what to do. Natasha never initiated physical contact of any kind but now she was practically hugging you. Seeming to realize how uncomfortable you were, she quickly moves away.

“Sorry,” she mutters, “That was stupid.”

“No, no, it’s fine, you can come back.” You respond quickly. As much as you were uncomfortable, it felt really nice to have her by your side. She somewhat shyly shifts back over to you but this time instead of wrapping her arm around your shoulders she nuzzles into your side, maneuvering your arms so they wrap around her. You have no idea what’s going on right now but you can’t help but smile as you look down at her. She looks cute and relaxed, with her hair covering parts of her face. Thinking about her hair reminds you of her opinion of your new haircut. You bite your lip nervously as you debate asking her about that or not. You definitely don’t want to ruin the cuddly mood that she’s in now but the comment still bothers you, not to mention you never actually found out why she took you home from the club.

“Um Natasha?” You ask in a timid voice. “Is my haircut really that bad?”

“Of course not, I think it suits you.” She responds smoothly. “I lied to you earlier.”

You smile at that. “Thank you but why?”

She takes a deep shaky breath before speaking. “Promise this won’t change anything between us first, that we will stay friends.”

“Ok,” You respond, earnest but confused, “I promise.”

“I didn’t like the idea of you going clubbing and coming home with some one night stand or even worse a girlfriend because I have feelings for you. So I was childish and took out my frustrations on you by pretending I didn’t like you. I’m sorry.” She’s looking up at you now, the most nervous you’ve ever seen her. Your mind is exploding with this new information and your heart feels so happy you can’t even believe what is going on.

“Is that why you were watching me with Jamie at the club and then told me you had to talk to me?”

“Yeah”

After a few more seconds of shocked silence that feels like hours to Natasha you finally speak. “I know I promised that this wouldn’t change anything between us but I don’t think it can be the same.” She starts to pull away from your side but before she can you lean over and press your lips against hers. At first you are hesitant but once she starts kissing back you gain confidence, the kiss getting more heated. After a minute or two you both pull away to catch your breath, smiling at each other.

Natasha lightly swats you on the arm. “You’re evil.” You giggle a little in response. “I was so worried for a second there, I thought you would be weirded out by that.” She continues also giggling slightly.

“I’m surprised you didn’t know that I had feelings for you,” you confess to her, “it was actually Tony and Wanda’s idea for me to go out because we all thought you didn’t like me so they thought it was a good idea to get over you.”

“Well that plan failed,” she says smirking, “I guess you can’t get over me.”

You look at her and yawn. “No I guess I can’t.”

At your yawn she glances at the clock. “We better get you to bed, it’s almost the time Steve wakes up for training.” You would like to spend more time with Natasha but you’re too tired to argue so you just nod and follow her as she pulls you up and leads you to your room, holding your hand the whole way. Inside your room she sits on your bed while you change, politely looking away. Once you’re in pyjamas you hold a pair out to her and she looks at you confused.

“Do you want to stay the night?” You ask her. She eagerly nods, accepting the pyjamas as you open your covers and crawl into bed. As soon as she’s done she turns off the lights and hops in behind you, spooning you. You sigh as you feel her plant a kiss on the back of your head. You can barely keep your eyes open and although you still haven’t talked about exactly what your new relationship with Natasha was yet, you were excited for what was to come. Your last thought before you drifted off to sleep was complete bliss as Natasha kept planting soft kisses on the back of your neck, head and shoulders.

The next morning you hear a loud pounding at your door. You groan and slowly gain consciousness, smiling as you remember last night and the redhead still cuddling you. Just like yesterday Tony doesn’t bother to wait for you to answer and instead barges straight in. His eyes widen when he sees the two of you spooning and he starts to splutter. You laugh at him with Natasha until he shouts for the other avengers to come. Multiple pairs of footsteps make your way to your bedroom and you see the shocked faces of a few of the other avengers, including Wanda, Steve and Clint.

“What,” Natasha says speaking up, “can’t a girl cuddle with her girlfriend in peace?” Steve immediately apologizes, ushering everyone out of the room and closing the door.

You raise your eyebrow. “Girlfriends?”

“I assumed so, if you want.” She responds.

“I like the sound of that...girlfriend.” You both smile at each other. You definitely did not complete your goal of getting over Natasha and instead fell further in love but you were totally ok with that.

#marvel #natasha #romanoff #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #x reader #fanfiction #fic #marvel fanfiction #tony stark #wanda maximoff #clint barton #orignial character

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xandwhy · 3 years

Note

Hello :) My ask is a little special, I’ve never been on a Coldplay blog before but you seem friendly haha

So I have been listening to their music for many years and I was lucky enough to get tickets for their next tour, but even if some of their music has been so important to me I’ve never really been in the fandom and I wanted to learn more about it. I saw videos from concerts but I’m not quite sure how the fans are like ? Are there things I should know before going ? Are there any songs that are fans favorites or have a special place in concerts ? (Even if you didn’t go to one of them before, I thought maybe you could know)

I’m also trying to catch up on all of their albums because I really know between 25 or 30 songs.

And if you have any content from the fandom to recommend in general <3 (masterposts, blogs, or anything really, I’m just curious)

I saw you got tickets too btw I’m so happy for you !

(And sorry for my English, it’s not my first language)

Hi Anon!!

First of all, congrats on getting tickets - I hope you have a wonderful time!

In my experience, Coldplay fans tend to be really nice people. I wouldn't say there's a really fixed demographic, but everyone I've ever met has been really friendly and enthusiastic. Of course, as Coldplay is such a large band, there will be a fair amount of people there who aren't really massive "fans" and are more there for the experience...and thats okay too!

As Coldplay release more and more albums and have more and more hit songs, the setlist is becoming more and more catered to the big hits (think Viva La Vida, Fix You, The Scientist ect.). I would recommend listening to the live albums strongly - they'll give you a good idea of what has been played before.

Also...the documentary is really good! It has a lot of concert footage in and is really interesting for fans.

In terms of other content, good question!!

Here is a "Beginners guide to Coldplay"

Here is an (out of date) album tag urself

@flamingplay @coldplayfeels @swallowedinthestars @mylovida @clodplaye are all excellent blogs! People drop in and out of the fandom but we're a fairly small and friendly bunch really.

My favourite album of all time is Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends...but you've got plenty of time to listen to all of them and see what you like!

I have a bunch of good Coldplay YouTube videos for you... see links under the cut because its getting a little long....

But yes...other Coldplay blogs please feel free to add anything on that I've missed. Due to adult life pressures and stuff, I am not as in-tune with the fandom as I used to be

youtube

https://youtu.be/XDZKN4ftzns

https://youtu.be/-1jd4o68_XY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zs7xO5P3Az4

Anyway.....thank you for the ask and I hope you have an amazing time! Feel free to send me a DM if you ever want to talk about anything else to do with Coldplay :)

#coldplay #ask #<3 #mots era

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elizabeatrice · 4 years

Text

Episode 12 - The Little Mermaid

Let’s Talk About JSHK Anime #3

Warning: Manga spoilers for The Little Mermaid arc, The Clock Keeper arc, and chapter 64!!! (just a bit, skip point no. 5, 6, and 10 if you don’t want to get spoiled) Also … this ended up way longer than I intended.

Well that was one heck of a feels trip. It’s probably my new favorite episode, just because everyone is here being wholesome lmao.

This is mostly hananene meta I ain’t even gonna lie.

Before we begin, shout out to Black Canyon, our newest anime cutie pie. Just look at him, folks. Just chilling with his sunflower seed.

He has no idea the kind of life his owner leads.

I said before that the best part of episode 12 is how it made Daydream worse, so now I’m gonna ramble about it.

“Maybe different species can’t understand each other after all.”

“Maybe it would be better if I were an apparition too.”

This is my favorite part of the episode. And no, not in the sense that I want Nene to die just so that she and Hanako can be together. But because of how Lerche actually explored deeper what was said only once in the manga.

Well, both in the manga and anime Nene ended up accepting the mermaid’s blood because of her desire to be popular, but the anime decided to revisit what she said earlier in the episode.

Not only did that make her decision kinda less selfish, it’s also just … sad. Thinking that your friend, someone you really cared about, doesn’t trust you enough to tell you things about themselves, to the point where you’re willing to go to such lengths as turning into an apparition just to understand them.

And if you think about it, isn’t this part of her true wish? To have her feelings be reciprocated? Man I just realized that as I wrote this and I am mindblown.

She thought she finally got her wish with Hanako. I mean, he said it himself in the first ep (”You wanted someone, anyone, to return your feelings, right? And as far as you’re concerned, sharing a bond with someone is the same thing, right?”). So it must’ve hit her really hard when she thought he didn’t trust her. Especially with all the wrong ideas the fishes were feeding her mind.

Then we got this little flashback. At first I was like, “Girl, you really be thinking that he doesn’t care about you while recalling the moment he apologized to you and hugged you? Are you insane?”

But after some thinking of my own, it occurred to me. Maybe she was too used to having her feelings not reciprocated, she couldn’t believe it when someone finally did. Not to mention Hanako did kinda trick her with his fake confession a while back (heh, he’s not the only one with trust issues, eh?). And that just made the entire thing even sadder.

So when Nene said, “But I thought, if I were an apparition like you, I could get closer to you. Then, maybe I’d be able to understand you, Hanako-kun. Although I know I probably don’t mean anything to you.”

That was a harsh wake up call for Hanako.

(Btw even more full circle, Hanako brought up Nene’s wish to become human again in the first episode. Nice.)

So. We got one daikon girl who’s afraid of not having her feelings reciprocated, and one ghost boy who’s afraid that daikon girl wouldn’t be his friend anymore if she knew about his past.

While in actuality, said daikon girl already decided she wanted to and would be his friend no matter what, and ghost boy had grown to care about her more than he thought he would.

He heard what she said to Tsuchigomori. He knew all about regret, too. I mean, honestly, I think if she had said no, he’d let her walk away right then and there, no questions asked. But she didn’t.

Nene’s wish finally came true here. And the best part? It wasn’t the work of magic or curses. Just Hanako finally shoving his fear aside, offering himself as he was, and letting her decide.

And she still chose to be with him.

Heh. Lemme just. Sob for a bit.

Is my hananene trash brain reading too much into this? Idk. Maybe.

So props to the production team for managing to add even more weight to this arc. Which, they had to, since it’s the season finale and all. But I love what they did!

Onto my commentaries!

1. The KouNene

Good shit. She was worried about him but he didn’t want her to worry so he just smiled it off? These two are precious. Thought they were gonna interact. Sadly not. Buuuut! (see point 12)

2. Hanako’s classroom visit

He. Is. So. Adorable. Someone please take his babey license away he’s too dangerous.

Hanako’s classroom visit is like my absolute favorite clingy Hanako moment, so I’m really happy I get to see it this season. Ugh. My kokoro. Hugging her from behind, that semi confession vibe … Smooth mf.

The Mokke brushing Nene’s hair!!! The radish hairdo tho lmao.

On a sidenote, as a history nerd I appreciate that they’re actually putting lessons in the background. And the teacher talked about Apollo 11 again??? While my boy was in the room? That ish both hurt and pleased me.

3. The Clock Keeper rumor drop

Heeeeeehhhhh? What’s thiiiiiissss?

4. This freaking thing

*flips table* Darn production team been knew I’m hananene trash how dare they do this to me.

And lookie here there’s Kodama chilling.

5. Fishies! (!!!manga spoiler for The Little Mermaid arc!!!)

Pufferfish didn’t die. Well, good for him. Also I can’t believe they just call the other fish ‘yeah yeah’ lmao what the freak. Has it always been like that in the manga?

6. AOI AND AKANE (!!!spoilers for chapter 64!!!)

I swear I did not intend this numbering coincidence.

*claps* Boi. Nene asking Aoi about cutting ties with someone she’s interested in? And then Akane just swooped in and say he’d rather cut his head off than cut ties with Aoi? What about getting impaled, huh, boy? Would that do?

The not-so-subtle call out to these two pairs’ parallel? BOI.

7. Nene and Yako

These two just chilling together having girl talk, and Yako let Nene pet her? That’s some adorable shit right there. Admit it Yako you like her.

Yako also be really hitting home with what she said. It was extra heavy coming from her, considering what happened to her and Misaki. Boiiiiii.

8. Tsuchigomori

Oh my God, his laughter. Just … oh my God.

Tsuchigomori in dad mode is always one of the highlights of the episode/chapter.

By the way, in this scene according to the sub, Nene asked Tsuchigomori who Tsukasa is. But she knew who he is already. Is it possible that the sub misinterpreted it? ‘Cause I think what she actually meant was, “What happened to him and Tsukasa-kun in the past?”

If someone who speaks Japanese could share their wisdom, please do!

9. The 5 pm bell and twilight

Look how pretty they are!!!

Lo and behold, another important hananene interaction while the 5 pm bell plays in the background. Also, twilight? Y’all giving me Kimi no Na wa flashbacks.

“Twilight, when it’s neither day or night. When the world blurs and one might encounter something not human.”

Huh … kinda fits the ‘boundary’ concept but it still hurt.

Anyway they still had Hanako tell her what she already knew. And I did say in my ‘Walking Blind’ post that it’d be redundant. But since the episode kinda emphasized Nene’s desire to understand Hanako, having him actually tell her himself, even though she already knew it, was a big deal. It’s not about what she knows, it’s about him opening up to her. So I’m super cool with it.

10. The Broadcasting Club (!!!spoilers for The Clock Keeper arc!!!)

I love how Natsuhiko and Sakura are actually decent people. When he told Mitsuba that he was free to choose to stay with them or not? That’s solid, man. Though, of course, Tsukasa might not be as kind.

Speaking of, I know it couldn’t be anything else, but I’m still not sure if Tsukasa’s drawing was confirmation for season 2. Don’t wanna get my hopes up. Imma just enjoy what I currently have.

Kinda curious, though. Because Clock Keeper wasn’t Tsukasa’s doing. Maybe he was the one who released Mirai? But tbh I’d prefer if it wasn’t so. Because having more cases of supernaturals going loco without it being one of Tsukasa’s games is interesting, and kinda underlines the need of The Seven Wonders to keep supernaturals in check.

11. Kodama just chilling

12. The Adventures of Minamoto and the Summer Vegetables

You go, Kou! I’m rooting for you oh my God you’re so precious.

And look at that ikemen smile! Him supporting Kou is just top notch sweet y’all I can’t-

Ngl this was the biggest surprise of the episode. Teru finding out that summer vegetables = Nene? Broooooo. Interesting. I don’t think this little addition warrants any changes to their future interaction, so it should be safe. Clever replacement, too, those veggies.

It’s so sweet that Nene delivered those veggies to Kou! Just imagine the Minamoto family having veggies for dinner. Awww.

(Also, Nene wrote her name in hiragana instead of kanji. Is that a reference to how bad Kou is with kanji? Lol, so sweet)

13. The Coda!!!

Look at him. Just look at him. Look how lovesick he is y’all I can’t-

THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.

All in all, I love this episode. Sorry for how long this post is. I’m just dealing with so many feels right now. Gaaahhhhh.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #hanako #minamoto kou #yashiro nene #akane aoi #aoi akane #yako #tsuchigomori #mitsuba sousuke #hyuuga natsuhiko #nanamine sakura #yugi tsukasa #kodama #minamoto teru #let's talk about jshk anime #bea rambles #hananene

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ais-n · 3 years

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ok so me and some friends have been talking about how much we loved greyson especially because of how meta it was and i wanted to ask if there was any more thought put into the show outside of canon, like who the characters are or about hsin and boyd watching it (like the plot point boyd predicted, that was so cute)

Hey! lol it is hilariously meta to have in there, isn’t it? haha

I don’t think we talked a ton about it beyond just generally what the plot would probably be based on the original story idea. I ended up getting super distracted multiple times in the course of trying to answer this because it got me curious to look back at old notes lol

!!!!!!! Oh my effing god - I legitimately thought we hadn’t talked much about the plot of the show itself but after searching around and remembering that apparently we spelled it Greyson some places and Grayson others I found way more info. (btw the Greyson is probably my fault more recently lol I spell gray as grey so I bet over time I flipped it in my head to being Greyson when it was probably Grayson canonically, but I can’t remember for sure what’s actually in the book itself)

ANYWAY I found a July 20, 2010 email string between “Sonny” and me about Grayson/Greyson with a lot more notes on the whole thing. So it turns out I do have some extra info, shockingly enough.

I put it beneath a cut in case of spoilers.

THIS IS DIRECTLY FROM MY EMAIL - SO IT IS GOING TO PROBABLY MAKE NO SENSE/BE CONFUSING AF/HAVE NO CONTEXT - also since it was just a regular chat back and forth we were kind of shooting the shit figuring it all out. just a forewarning :) only changes i made were clear spelling typos that made it a little confusing to not fix

+++++++++++++++++

July 20, 2010 emails figuring out Greyson/Grayson

8:49 am - email from Ais to “Sonny”

btw in grayson i thought of doing an homage to what we originally were going to have icos be, so i thought your one guy could be the one who has the lung sickness in there and we can have whoever we want as other characters. i imagine the one who lost everyone and is all violent to be cypress but he will have his real name, Akiva, because cypress is in my fantasy series. for some reason in my mind, the Feral is named Annika and she's basically a Feral by the end of the first season, and also some of the other characters who werent affected by the war as much probably are basically in middle class or nicer areas. so for some reason in my mind, there's a rich girl named Daphne (could be a different name) and at the end of the first season, she somehow got caught up with Annika (maybe kidnapped?) and the show's plot lines seemed to be implying Daphne will end up as a Feral eventually. im not sure if it'd be Daphne then that people think died at the end of the first season or if it would be someone else. regarding your character (was it Nate?) i think he had a sister didnt he? i thought maybe if he did, he thought she died in the war but actually she lived. she was at a friends house or something so he never saw what occurred with her and when he went there everything was destroyed and the bodies were too mangled and burnt to be identifiable. but maybe she doesnt remember anything or she's hurt in some hospital and recovering, and eventually they could run into each other but she may or may not know who he is. the only thing is i dont think we should have the secret agent aspect to Grayson but we could have one of the other characters be some vigilante or law enforcement person of some sort if we wanted. or we could leave that out altogether. i also completely arbitrarily chose 7 characters so you can increase or decrease as you like.

8:51 am - email from Ais to “Sonny”

also these are just random ideas for the series plot which isnt that important anyway so you can feel free to add/change/suggest/whatever... i just wanted to email you those general ideas before i could forget

8:53 am - email from “Sonny” to Ais

im kind of confused by people becoming ferals unless they were kidnapped and kept among them for long periods of times? because i implied that ferals were people who basically never left the wastelands after the war and became mentally and physically changed because of the way they live and what they saw, so i dont think it would make sense that someone "becomes a feral" unless theyve been kidnapped for some reason and held there for several years until they forget who they were/adapt to the life in the wastelands/bombed out cities. also though, the ones who live very far from working cities and towns are cannibals

9:00 am - email from Ais to “Sonny”

well originally i was thinking she'd be kept there for a long period of time but actually in the context of the show that wouldnt work. so maybe people just thought she was going to be killed by the ferals and eaten by the cannibals at the end of the first season. or she could have nothing to do with the ferals; it was just an idea. also, someone else couldve been in danger of dying in some more normal way, like just a fight with scavengers or something. maybe an unexploded bomb went off too, who knows. or they could also touch on the rebels and have some rebel attack put someone in danger or someone joins some rebel group. i dont really care, theyre all just random ideas im throwing out

9:04 am - email from “Sonny” to Ais

i dont care about what all happens but like you said, her being kept there for long enough time for that to happen wouldnt work on a show unless there was a time jump. i assume the show takes place soon after the war

9:05 am - email from Ais to “Sonny”

yeah so forget about the turning into a feral thing. the main thing was i just thought it could be kind of fun/cool to get in parts of the original icos idea

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Rereading that now, I feel like I sound a bit bitchy in my replies on the feral stuff, even though in looking at it at this moment I think “Sonny”’s response makes total sense and I agree with “him” on that part of the email. No idea if I was feeling pissy/impatient that day and I truly was a bit tetchy in my replies, or if I was just super distracted writing or editing so I was being especially lazy about punctuation and paying attention to tone and accidentally made it sound a little more abrupt than I would if I were trying to be careful about that.

Anyway this seems to be the majority of the extra info I have on it.

#icos books #in the company of shadows #grayson #hsinliuvega #ask ais

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black-wolf066 · 4 years

Text

TUA Season 2 Thoughts

Okay, I know I’m extremely late to the game here, and I’m sure a lot of people have already touched base on the good and bad moments of this season; so I promise that the bad points that I do touch upon, will be short cause I do want to focus on what I loved.

First and foremost, I want to say that I did love season 2 with my whole freaking heart! I was ooooooh so very wrong with a lot of my predictions (and right in others *cough* Lila *cough*) but as I continued watching, I couldn’t bring myself to care (not too much anyway, there were a few things I was mad at, but meh).

I loved seeing Hazel and I loved that the big oaf at least got 20 years with Agnes before she finally passed on. While I wish we could have seen snippets of that life and love rather then just flash backs to them in season 1; I’m still happy that Hazel got to live his life the way that he wanted to live it. Sure, I wasn’t happy that they killed him off, but for plot purposes it made sense—but on a lighter note, at least he could cross over into the afterlife and be happy with Agnes again. Right?

Elliott is a hoot and I feel so bad that he died. All that poor man wanted was validation that he wasn’t crazy (which he got) and for someone to eat his damn Jell-O (I love ambrosia btw, but even I wouldn’t eat that ambrosia he made… sorry Elliott).

The sibling interactions between ALL OF THEM!!! JUST AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It’s everything I could have hoped for and then some!!! The slap fight between Klaus and Ben on the street, Ben’s “You’re so independent, you fight your own damn battles”. Five and Luther reuniting “She’s too young for you” “Dad should have left him on the moon” (I snort laughed at both of these sentences). Then there’s Klaus and Allison reuniting, Allison not even hesitating to jump into the pool to hug her brother. OR THE WHOLE FAMILY REUNION!!! That Vanya and Allison hug! That hug as Klaus joined in and planted a kiss on the top of Vanya’s head!!!! The whole interaction between Allison and Diego “Can’t say Hi to anyone?” just omg, I could go forking on and on with this, because the banter and snappy comments from all of them are just total sibling culture and I relate sooooooooo much to it. (best believe I will jump on someone’s back like a damn spider monkey to protect my siblings, but I’d also sooner shank them too)

RAYMOND AND ALLISON!!!!! I’m ALLLLLLLLL FOOOOOOR THIS RELATIONSHIP!!!!! LIKE OMG!!!!!! WHY DIDN”T SHE TAKE HIM WITH HER!!!!! THEY ALREADY SCREWED THE TIMELINE UP ENOUGH BY JUST EXISTING THERE IN 1963 ANYWAY!!!! Like seriously, I’m actually upset that she didn’t take him with her, and now it looks like her daughter doesn’t even exist either… like omg Allison, sweet heart. Nooooooo.

I LOVE Luther’s development this season, the fact that he goes to apologize to Vanya, and actually takes blame for what happened, just makes me happy to know that the big lug is trying. Yea I know he took the gun with him, but honestly, I can’t blame him either. He was obviously scared and didn’t know what he would walk into, would she try and kill him again? Like we know the gun wouldn’t do sh*t to help him, but Luther wasn’t sure of that. Plus he never actually pulls it, his hand is constantly on it, but he never pulls it out, which shows that hurting her was not the end game. He wanted to actually apologize and he hoped that his sister would hear him out enough to allow him to do it.

I loved sissy and vanya. The friendship that turned to romance was cute, and while I’m still iffy with it because Sissy was married, I also understand to a small degree that Sissy truly felt stuck. Even without Vanya’s interference, I highly doubt Sissy would have been able to get a divorce and manage to keep possession of her son. Carl is an absolute bag of d*cks, and with Carl having a brother in the police force, who’s to say that they couldn’t spin something that would allow them to take Harlan away from her? I honestly can see a divorce between these two getting messy and none of the outcomes working in Sissy’s favor. She would have never been happy inside or outside of her marriage. But Vanya gave her the hope that she might actually find it. (IDK, I’m still really on the fence with it, and the infidelity, but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy Sissy/Vanya’s cute little moments while it lasted…)

Also, can I just say, Sissy blowing the scent of coffee into Vanya’s sleeping face, was truly and utterly adorable and such a dorky thing to do and I loved it.

ALL OF THE KLAUS AND ALLISON INTERACTIONS!!!! ALL OF THEM!!!

THAT SALON SCENE!!!

THAT DANCE AT THE SALON!!!

Also, not going to lie, Odessa was a bad ass b*tch and I love and will protect that woman as much as I will love and protect Raymond Chestnut. I don’t even care that Odessa was only in a few episodes, that woman stole my damn heart and I truly would have loved to see more scenes with her and Allison and the friendship they had.

The elevator ride going up to the light supper, the freaking conch shell, and the siblings’ interactions during the whole thing (Allison rumoring Diego to punch himself, and Vanya’s cheeky “oops” after showing off her powers, just *chefs kiss*).

Ben and Vanya!!! I FORKING CRIED!!! I had to bloody pause the damn episode because my tears were getting in the way of me watching!!!! (trust me, there was a long moment of silence for Ben after that.)

All of them piling into Vanya’s car on her way to save Harlan. That entire scene was a masterpiece “Child get in the back” followed by Klaus just flopping on top of Diego and Allison, like OMG!!! And Luther… poor Luther “If I hear one fat joke, I’m out”

Everything to do with Five and Older Five was hilarious. I’m sorry call me immature, but the fart jokes were funny (even if they did start to get old after a while). Also, poor Luther, once more. We stan one lousy spotter but a brother who tried his forking best anyway.

Luther being a big (little) brother and covering Allison AND Klaus during the hail of bullets.

Klaus being observant and noting things long before anyone else. Like even at the end, when Vanya was taking her power back, everyone else was watching her but not Klaus. He kept glancing around himself while also taking in the scene periodically. There is something there, I can forking feel it. Between that pill scene in season 1, him looking up to the moon with no reason to do so, him spotting The Handler and Lila, him knowing/guessing that Lila can only mirror one power at a time—despite never actually fighting her himself—it all has to add up to something??? RIGHT???

I didn’t think I would like the Swedes… yet here I am putting them in this column. Still mad that they killed Hazel (but as Five told Lila, the job was a job, it was never anything personal). They hardly had any lines at all but their personalities alone and the little things we saw were just… what the hell but I still loved it. haha.

I CAN”T WAIT TO SEE IF WE LEARN MORE ABOUT THE OTHER CHILDREN MYSTERIOSULY BORN!!!!! Like I wanna see the sparrow academy kids, but I hope we might learn about a few others too. Like how many of those kids didn’t make it? How many of those kids were born with a twin? Were their any triplets??? Like can you imagine that poor woman who had to give birth to not one child, but two that she didn’t have an hour ago??? (and possibly three even though I doubt there were any triplets… but what if there forking was!!!)

SPARROW BEN!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!! I mean, I’m glad Justin is staying on the show, he’s awesome and I do like Ben, but I’m a bit sad that this won’t be the Ben we’ve seen in the last two seasons (I’ll still eat it up, don’t get me wrong, cause I’m curious to see this alternate Ben, but I’m still sad).

Also that Vanya and Diego interaction at the end, neither of them having to say anything but still leaning on each other for support, just AHHHHHHHH

The sibling bonds that have begun to form between all of them is what really killed me this season and I loved each and every second of it!!!

All the one-liners were pretty good too, like the “Ikea mafia” “Think of Batman than aim lower” “Is it too late to be un-adopted?” just efgjoiwengjowegnwrjngwe

Vanya actually using her powers to save someone, and Ben solidifying that fact by telling her she isn’t a monster.

the music choices!!!!

I’m sure I will add more to all of this in another post, I’m still forking reeling over here and can’t get all of my thoughts straight, but goddamn I loved this season! Dysfunctional idiots—the lot of them. But at least they were making dysfunctional decisions together XD

Okay, now for the things I didn’t like…

Again, I’ll be brief cause I know that there are probably plenty of people who have touched on this already and I’m sure you all are sick of seeing or hearing it by now (so feel free to skip over it all together).

Klaus not telling his family SEVERAL TIMES that Ben was there.

Ben possessing Klaus without his consent (and Ben breaking the rules that Klaus had put into place as Ben nearly got frisky with Jill)---like I can’t even say I’m mad that he possessed Klaus at the light supper. I didn’t like it, it made me uncomfortable, but from Ben’s perspective I understood it. to Ben, he felt like he didn’t have a choice, Klaus had constantly taken Ben’s choice away by not telling the family he was there, so if Klaus wasn’t going to tell them on his own, Ben had no choice but to try and do it himself. I get that, I did. But the whole “Burrowed” scene in the elevator made me cringe something fierce.

The fact that we get Klaus looking badass in the first five minutes of the season, and then Klaus basically being useless the rest of the season, pissed me the ever-loving fork off. I mean, come on!!! EVERYONE ELSE FOUGHT LILA!! WHERE THE HELL WAS HE!??? I’m hoping this is all just setting Klaus up to be something greater in the next season, that maybe now that Ben is gone Klaus will have no choice but to relay on himself and tap into that “Potential” that Reginald had hinted at in season 1 (my fingers are soooo crossed that this is the case)

Not getting their reactions to Ben sacrificing himself (I needed more then just seeing Klaus lying forlornly on a bed, I’m sorry, but I definitely needed more than that). Klaus and Vanya’s interaction in the car did not make up for any of it either.

I don’t know where to put my thoughts on Lila and Diego. While I liked them in the beginning, their relationship kinda lost me the moment she spiked him and basically kidnapped him. I like Lila, don’t get me wrong, but that scene made me really uncomfortable too.

The interactions with the Handler and Five. Like okay, I get that the Handler isn’t treating him like a child because basically Five is supposed to be 58, but it’s still forking creepy to see her swaying her hips behind Five who is stuck in his 13-year-old body. Just… no.

The fact that we only see Allison mentioning her daughter 2 times. Like sure, she’s had 2 years to grieve, but I want to see that grief!!!!

How the show tied Sissy and Vanya’s story line up, and how they tied Allison and Raymond’s story line up… like nooooooo. How the hell would Sissy be safe in the past???? Carl’s brother was a forking police officer??? Does she seriously think his brother isn’t going to come after her when he learns his brother is dead????? Also how is Raymond supposed to explain that he suddenly doesn’t have a wife anymore???? These things don’t just fix themselves!!! Like I understand Five saying they couldn’t come, that it could change things beyond repair, but all seven of them existing in 1963 in the first place has already forked everything up enough as it was.

(Ignore me, I’m just salty that we won’t be get any more Raymond/Allison interactions…)

Anyway, negatives pushed aside, I can’t stress enough how i did love the season!!! And I can not wait to see where season 3 goes!!! I HONEST TO GOD CAN NOT WAIT!!! In the mean time, I will be attempting to write several things for season 2… fix-its, in between moments, whatever I can think of. Let’s see where that goes.

#tua #the umbrella academy #tua spoilers #tua s2 spoilers #spoilers #my thoughts #likes and dislikes #i'm late to the game #oof #but at least i still watched it

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jinniesmeow · 5 years

Text

good evening. this is a very long rant. if you’ve been tagged in this, it means I have a message for you :’) it’s at the bottom of the post, and that’s the most important part, so dear mutuals, feel free to just go read that part and don’t feel forced to read all that bullcrap I've written. thank you if you do, thank you if you don’t.

if we’re not mutuals and you’re reading this, well I guess thank you because this is hella long and cliché af. I'm sorry to everyone for this. though it kinda has nothing to do with what I'm saying, I was feeling particularly gay tonight and I'm in my feelings right now so yeah. if you’re willing to read, just click, you know how that works.

first of all, hello. thank you if you’re reading this, whether we’re mutuals or not, this isn’t a private post so if you’re reading this, hello to you, I hope you’re having a wonderful night or day and I guess sorry for what you’re about to read if it’s considered TMI. I don’t know everyone on here so I'll start with the basics. I’m zia, aka users jinniesmeow, yunholy, hwangitzy and very recently yuzukhei. I'm (almost) 19, and in case you didn’t know, I'm French. and Italian, fortunately or not, idk. 100% European and white anyway, and my ancestors were all 100% racist and homophobic (I mean Poland and Italy? come on.). My sister, who’s turning 23 this year (she’s not on Tumblr), and myself are the first generation in my family to be queer on whichever side of it it is you’re looking at.

Indeed, (if you didn’t know somehow, now you do) both her and I are pansexual. thankfully, our mom is far from being homophobic and racist and she’s a very open minded person, like really. neither of us have ever had a coming out, and none of us plan on doing it. I totally understand the necessity for some people to come out to their relatives and all that, but here’s why I personally refuse to do it: I don’t get why I have to tell people I'm not straight. I think it only fuels the fact that being straight is seen as the norm, because do straight people ever announce they are straight? exactly. being queer (gay, lesbian, pan, ace, whatever) is not abnormal, it’s not unnatural, so I refuse to have to scream it to everyone, and I don’t mean by that that I'm trying to hide my queerness, because I'm very open and honest about it, and I always have been. I hope one day, we won’t need to come out anymore and that people will stop assuming our sexuality. until then, I'll let people get flustered whenever I imply that I'm not straight without having ever stated it clearly before because fuck that shit.

anygays. so, like I said, I've always been very open and honest about my romantic and sexual orientation. I know lots of bi/pan people “realise” they are queer when they’re a bit older, during their teenage years or early adulthood, but (un)fortunately I am not one of those. I have literally always known I liked girls too (in the first place, I mean). actually, I’ve always thought attraction and romance were about the person, like, I mean it was an evidence to me ever since I was a child, and how can I explain that I got slapped in the face when I discovered that it was not a universal thing, that it was not “the truth”. so there I was, in the middle of elementary school, openly saying I liked girls in front of everyone because I thought it was normal. I mean, it is, but you get what I mean.

on top of that, the term “pansexual” has been occulted and invalidated for years, and most people didn’t even know of it until like maybe 3 years ago. remember, I'm 19, and there I was in middle school at 13 years old telling people I was pansexual when they’d barely even heard of bisexuality (while everyone else was like ‘I'm straight!! ew the gays’ btw). honestly, I cannot count how many times I've been called a pedophile, a necrophile and zoophile. by my very own friends, yes.

same with high school, but I'm not going to repeat myself. just for the precision: no, I have never been physically or mentally bullied for that, however, I was mocked a lot because of how tall I am (I was 1m73/5′7 at 14) and because I can be quite androgynous since I don’t have big boobs. I have large hips though, so those fucking males didn’t miss the chance to pick on me for that too. obviously though if I've never been full on bullied it’s because: 1. I've always had friends and I've never been a ‘loner nerd’, 2. I was tall and intimidating, 3. I was respected for my intelligence and grades and wasn’t being full of myself about being a top student, and 4. because I was neither fat nor a person of colour, obviously, and those are privileges I'm very aware of. I have still been called a ‘woman with a dick’ and other transphobic shit and was often treated as if I were a boy, though.

I still identify as a girl. I have been so, so complexed about so many things about my physical appearance for so long, I can’t count how many hours I have spent looking at my naked reflection in the mirror, feeling disgusted, wishing I had bigger boobs and that I would “look more like a girl” and so on. how much I have hated my body is something I can’t even measure. as of today, I've realised there is no such thing as “looking like a girl” and I've made a lot of progress on liking my overall appearance and accepting my body, sometimes I even think I'm hot™ and definitely think men don’t deserve me but for some fucking reason I can’t choose my sexuality (crazy right) and I still am attracted both romantically and sexually to them :/

anyways. now you know how long I've known that I'm a pansexual and throughout all these years, every time someone talked about the community or when pride came, no one mentioned us pansexuals, and I've seen us being invalidated so many times I really started doubting myself. I was like, “it’s like being bisexual, I'm just being butthurt and pushing it too far” but at the same time I never stopped calling myself pansexual. to some people, it’s just a preference in the choice of words to say you’re bi or pan, but to me there is a difference, even if it’s the smallest ever, and yes. being bi and being pan are “basically the same thing” and both orientations are very close but that very difference means everything to me. I am attracted to people, romantically and sexually, regardless of their gender. that is exactly it. and it’s very important to me.

I'm sorry if this is a mess, it’s hard to say things in the right order when I have so much to say, but I'm going to go back to what I was saying in the beginning about my family. I talked about my mom. my parents have been separated since I was 6 and haven’t spoken to each other in like 12 years btw. so, as for my dad, I know he wouldn’t care. he’s not homophobic, not racist. he does say homophobic and racist things sometimes, without realising it, like a lot of people do, and that doesn’t make him a homophobe. I know he doesn’t care if I'm gay, and I feel good just knowing that. however, remember, my family is italian. everyone around us is 100% straight (except for my cousins, I'm pretty sure one of them is bi-curious and the other is ace, but they aren’t open about this at all and have probably never questioned their sexuality lmao) and then there are my sister and I in the middle of it, and we’re like “yup, we’re the gay cousins”. the italian side of my family is huge. like really, my father has a total of 24 cousins (and I don’t mean the little ones and all that, I mean first degree cousins), so imagine how many of us there are in total when you’re counting everyone’s kids, spouses, grandkids and great-grandkids (you read that well, some of his cousins are old, some are even deceased). and they’re italian. and 100% into their religious set of mind that has them believe their god forbids being gay and that we’ll burn in hell. whatever, would’ve been going there anyway, gay or not so it’s not like I care, all the more reasons to be a fag.

and yes I have proof they are racist and homophobic, I've heard the things they’ve said. so, I, whomst has had depression for basically all her life and also has every existing form of anxiety there is, don’t exactly feel comfortable around these people. and on top of being gay, I listen to “Ching Chong music”!!! how do I have to put into words that I know exactly what they think of me? I even have blue hair now so like, blending in even less than before. so yeah.

to add on to that feeling of worthlessness, when I entered high school, I was still a top student without doing any type of work whatsoever, but then depression got the best of me (like for real this time how am I even still alive tbh) and I fell so hard I could barely stand going to school anymore. my last two years of high school (it lasts 3 years in France) have been disastrous. I barely attended and could barely manage keeping my grades above average, because I had zeros on 99% of my homework since I never did it. still had good enough grades on tests though, and it saved my ass.

honestly, I don’t even want to talk about these years and how I was feeling, because it’s still too fresh for me and I'm stil trying (yes, trying) to heal from it. I can say without a doubt that they were some of the worst years of my life though. however final exams came and my ass managed to get a really good grade without revising anything, this way I could send a big, huge, fuck off to my teachers who had been shitting in my face for years and making me feel like the hugest shit on earth. I hope they choke on their jealousy. then I went to uni for about three months, where I majored in English, but eventually decided to stop because I couldn’t go a day without having a panic attack on the train, because I still couldn’t get my ass to do any work, because I was bored out of my mind and just when I had started feeling better after leaving high school I was sinking further down. I spent months staying home without seeing anyone but my mom and doing nothing but watching Netflix (the French catalogue isn’t as interesting as the American one btw). then, I finally found the guts to go see a therapist. not gonna say it was a mistake, but I'm glad I stopped because this bitch was just here to take my money. I took antidepressants for a few months, and I have stopped really recently, actually. in all honesty, I have gotten much better, thanks to my own doing, I've worked so hard on getting better and I'm proud of how far I've come.

today, I can finally say for the first time ever in my life that I am proud of who I am.

the whole point of saying all of this shit you have (maybe) read is not because I want people to give attention to me or anything like, I don’t want pity or anything and truly don’t think there are any reasons for people to feel any pity towards me. I'm saying this because I want to thank the people around me for just existing, for supporting me, for making me feel validated. because you might not realise it, but (a lot of) you are often talking about your problems, and it makes me realise that I'm not the only one feeling this kind of way. it makes me realise there are people who might understand me, even just a little. and when I see you talking about your sexual/romantic orientation (or lack of so) it also makes me feel accepted. I see you guys reblog such validating things, and then some of you even have pride flags in your layouts, and you have no idea how my heart feels about it. if you weren’t aware, I'm a twitter person. I've spent so much time on there, I have met lots of people, lots of which are part of the community and openly supporting it, and yet I have never felt more validated than since I've been on here.

I've also met the people I consider “the most” as my internet best friends on here, like my best best internet friends, if that makes sense lmao, and not actually on twitter (although I might be pushing it because I have actually gone from IVL to IRL with most of them so like... whatever.) point is: I have met amazing friends I'm so thankful for on here. and all the people I see in my dash, to all of you, thanks for everything too even if we don’t really talk and if we haven’t had actual discussions before. now if you want to, you can always come to me to talk about whatever the fuck you want.

so, here, I want to thank all of you, because today I'm finally starting to think maybe, just maybe, that I want to keep on living and that good things might happen to me. I have no plans for the future, since I never imagined myself getting this far in life, but I'm still willing to give it a try.

please, if after you’re reading this, you’re thinking about telling me cliché things about staying strong and all that, I'm going to ask you not to do it. it just feels like pity to me. or choose your words wisely, I'm begging you, because I can’t stand thinking anyone would pity me. please don’t feel like that, that’s not the point of this.

I'm doing this as a thank you, and as a message to everyone out there who’s read this. I hope my words mean something to you. maybe help you? it’s ok to be confused about who you are. it’s ok not to like yourself, it takes so much work to get better and all that, but just know that you can do it, it is possible to do it. it takes time, it will hurt, but it’s an option. it’s not impossible.

now. I have some people I want to send a quick message to. I guess some of you will be surprised, but just read what I have to say please, and know that from the bottom of my heart, I mean it.

@hwangwhatjin Emily. I don’t even know where to start, and soon I won’t even be able to see what I'm typing anymore because the tears I've been fighting while writing all this crap have started flowing all of a sudden the second I typed your name. you’re the first friend I made on here. we started off nothing, and I was a no one, and yet you still talked to me and all that. you’re honestly one of the most tolerant and kind people I have ever met in my life. you’re the exact opposite of prejudiced, you’re so open minded, so not giving a shit about other people’s quirks (I mean it in the right way) that don’t concern you directly, like people are who they are and you don’t give a damn about it, it’s amazing. I know this doesn’t sound like a compliment, but I can’t find the right way to put this. you’ve also always been there to listen to me whenever I wanted you to, and you have never judged me once. you have no idea how thankful I am for having you in my life. I wouldn’t want to have anyone else hold the title of bro. I love you so, so much, and I'm sorry we haven’t been talking lately. I hope I can help you just like you’ve helped me and support you as much as you need me to in the future, and I want you to know I'll always be there for you, I'll never let you down. you have no idea how much I can’t wait to meet you so I can wrap you in a blanket and give you hot chocolate while I light up a gingerbread scented candle (yes, I remember) and put on some blink-182 and stroke your hair because it’s what you deserve. you’re one of my best friends, like ever, and it’s such a pain we’re so far from each other, fuck this damn channel. one day I'll just swim to you to hear your wonderful accent you say you hate so much. anything to see you. I'm sorry I'm so old, I wish it were less of a problem, but as you grow up this gap will be less and less of an obstacle, so let’s just be patient, yeah? I love you, bro. roach bros to the end of the line.

@pikachulein Laura. ok. where do I start and how do I stop my eyes from sweating so much. you know, I'm just gonna say it. in my opinion, soulmates aren’t the people we’re especially meant to be with in a romantic way, and we might even have several of them. I just think they’re people who just bring you so much, and people who are like another version of you, but different. kind of like I described in my Felix au, actually. when I call you my soulmate, I really mean it, because I'd never thought I'd meet someone who understands me so well because they relate so much, someone who basically shares the same mind because hell, when have we ever had different thoughts on something like... it will never cease to amaze me. it’s only been a few months since we’ve known each other, but I actually think you’re one of my closest friends. hell, on the day we meet, because I'm not taking no for an answer, I don’t even know how I'll be holding up like, I won’t know how to act. so in advance, I'm sorry if I'm so weird at first. you’ve listened to the story of my whole life and you’ve shared your experience back, and you have no idea how thankful I am for that. maybe you haven’t realised, but you’ve been of a huge help to me. thank you for being so understanding, for not judging me, for being so open about everything with me, thank god I have someone with whom I can talk about literally any subject without it feeling uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. I have so many things to say I can’t even find the words, honestly. I’m just so thankful that you exist and that I have you in my life, and that you actually like me as a person too. thanks so much. you’re my best bitch, together we’re the baddest bitches of the pan squad and I can’t wait to travel across Europe with you for real. the world ain’t ready for us.

@hanniesunshine Isabel. you’re just the biggest ray of sunshine ever. everything about you is so pure I'm even scared to be one of the people you talk to because I feel like you don’t deserve to talk to me (I mean like you deserve much better than me) and that I'm way too filthy for you. you’re always so good and kind to me, so, so supportive, and I can’t even thank you enough for that. honestly, every time I see you somewhere, kakaotalk, WhatsApp, Tumblr, I just can’t help but smile because you’re the purest and brightest being the earth has ever seen and I can’t believe you would actually want to talk to someone like me. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so sorry for being such a cold bitch (and for using this word) sometimes, and for almost never finding the right words. thanks for always being so eager about reading my content. I'll keep supporting you, and I'll do better in everything!! I love you, so, so much. I'll always be there for you if you need me or want me.

@sleepyracha Marie. I'm so, so sorry I'm so inconsistent and that I don’t talk to you as much as I used to, I hope we’re still okay. I just want to thank you for being the open minded person you’ve shown me you are and for supporting me all the time, and for very interesting conversations about literally anything. I promise I'm learning Spanish and that soon we’ll be able to talk together in another language than English. I hope you’re doing well and that you know I'm always there for you, and if Tumblr isn’t the best place for you, tell me where you want me to be for you. congrats on passing this year, you’re someone amazing and you’re so chill, it feels so good to see someone like that. thank you for even talking to me in the first place, thank you so much and I love you.

@lesbianbias Nina. you’re such a soft and pure person, I'm so glad you were my skz anon and that I got to meet a wonderful person like you. you’re always showering me with love, and I always feel like I don’t deserve it. thanks so much for all the support, please, please never change. I love you and you’re amazing. thank you for being so chill as well. I'll make sure I'll return that love to you.

@xiaocity siya. thank you so much for listening to me, you know what I'm referring to. I know you’re one of those who really deeply understands me and I'm thankful we got to talk, even just a bit. I'm always there if you need me, thank you for supporting me and my works, and be more confident in your writing, it’s good!! I think we actually have a lot in common too, so if you ever feel like talking, feel free to drop by in my dms.

@littlefallenrebel Sophie. we haven’t talked that much, but I feel like we should talk more. we have a lot more in common than we think, I'm sure of it. thank you for being you, thank you for the messages you’ve been spreading with your posts and reblogs. you’re an amazing person and I'm happy you’re my mutual because you’re a truly good person.

@visualgiggles sam. thank you for your reblogs, whatever they’re about they never fail to cheer me up, whether they’re about tolerance or just memes, even the latter help me regain faith in humanity. we haven’t talked that much but I would gladly talk some more with you if you ever wanted to. you’re a wonderful person and I'm thankful you’re my mutual.

@dreamypansexual I don’t think we’ve ever talked, I'm not even sure I know your name so I don’t want to say something wrong. but that doesn’t matter, because you’re still one of the people who make me feel the most validated here. hell, you literally have a pan flag as your layout (your user... I mean yeah). your posts are always making me feel so much better because it proves me that there are still such tolerant and open people out there, so thank you.

@cloudyyboii honestly, I think it’s kind of the same as with your friend right above between me and you. it doesn’t matter though, thanks for the validation and the tolerance you’re spreading around. love you.

@jxsng Kylie. I don’t think we’ve ever had a private conversation, but whatever. you’ve shown me lots of supports in every other way and you’re such a sweet and open person, I'm thankful you’re my mutual. I feel small next to people like you because I feel like you hold the whole world in your hands, you’re one of those meant to go places and it shows. I'll always support you too. thank you for everything and I love you.

@ggukksrose shims. you’re definitely one of the people who make me feel validated the most, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I always see you sticking up for others and telling the haters to go fuck off, and you even did that with me. you’re an amazing person, and I admire you for the confidence you’ve managed to achieve and I wish you the best in the future, I hope you’ll only get better and better with your fights and if anyone ever messes with you I'll be throwing hands. just say the word. I love you.

@cypher-yngi Emerson, am I wrong? we’ve never talked though we’ve been mutuals for so long. from what I've seen, we have a lot in common and I'd be more than ok to have even a simple conversation with you, even if you said Orangina was good. you’re also one of those who have helped me feel valid and realise I'm not alone in this world, so if you’re ever feeling alone, and if you want to, let’s be alone together, maybe? gotta love FOB. also, you have amazing music taste. and you're a fellow yoongi stan, and that itself says a lot about the kind of person you are. thanks for existing and I love you.

@wonwonbebe ah... have you ever told me what your name was? I have terrible memory. doesn’t really matter. I love you, I'm so thankful that you were my anon and can’t believe you actually went through all that just to talk to me. you have no idea how thankful I am. you’re a wonderful person, and I'm so, so happy to see that my mutuals are all so amazing and tolerant. thanks for all the positivity.

@psycho-robin-chan robin, right? we’ve talked a bit before. if you read what’s above, you’ll probably find some parts a bit familiar, haha. I actually loved this conversation with you, if that makes sense? it’s always interesting and it feels good to let it out. I also like seeing I'm not alone, and I like to think that when I speak about such things with people I might also be helping them feel better. so thanks, you also make me feel valid with your posts and reblogs, and you’re such a tolerant and open and chill person at such a young age. never change anything! thanks for being here and supporting me.

@mirohell sage! we haven’t been mutuals for long, and I'm not expecting you to read everything I've written, it’s ok if you don’t, really. I just wanted to thank you real quick because you’re already showing me lots of support and I feel like we’ll be getting along well. if you want to read this, I'm sorry for putting so much on your shoulders so quick lmao, you’ll basically be knowing so much about me without having asked for anything. feel free not to read it, I'm repeating myself again but really, the actual important part of this post is this one where I thank you all individually. so thank you!! I'll do my best in supporting you in the future as well, and not only by showing your edits some love haha

@theminho min! we haven’t been mutuals for long either, but thank you for caring about me. thanks for even just following me. thanks for this message you’ve sent, it means a lot really. you don’t have to read all that I've written above either,, don’t feel pressured, I just wanted to thank you personally too for just being here and for the support. feel free to come talk to me whenever you want (if you ever want) and I'll be supporting you always!!

@justlovingkpop my sweetheart, you’re just too cute and so supportive and loving. thank you so, so much for everything and for coming to talk to me!! I'll go reread some of your work soon to because I've missed it. thanks for existing, and know that I'm always there for you. love you lots.

@strawb-milk-tea my babyyyy I'm going to repeat it but thank you and I love you and you’re so cute and you’re NOT a potato ok, you’re so, so pretty like I knew I was gay but phew... I feel valid too when I see you. long live the gays.

@five-pence hey there! it’s been a while. hope you’re doing well. thank you for supporting me, thank you for making me feel valid as well, and I love you very much. I'm here whenever.

@jooheonenthusiast yo. we’ve basically only talked bc of that one post I made, and it’s been enough to show me that you’re an amazing person and a bad bitch. thanks for your support and fuck the homophobes. I love you.

@marriael adellum. you’re a really kind person. you’re so pure. and you make me me feel very much valid, love your profile pics from the last days by the way. thanks for existing and I'm glad you’ve joined us on the network, it’s a pleasure to have someone like you around. hope I'm not too much of a pain in the ass.

@channiiebby gryphon. we’ve never talked privately, but you’re a sweetheart. thanks for being you. you’re valid and you know it, and that makes me feel valid too, so thanks for showing me it’s okay to be who you are. I love you.

that’s it. I'm out of words. I've been at this for like 2 hours now. if I think of anyone else, I'll just reblog and add them. but right now I feel totally empty because of all the emotion hive poured into all this and I need to recharge, so good night and I love you all. thank you for your time and attention.

happy pride month everyone,

your friendly neighbourhood pansexual, zia.

#on this note #good night everyone #I love y'all #rants #personal #<33 #sorry for bothering you all with this

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taetae-tea · 6 years

Text

The One (Part II)

Part I <- Part II –> Part III

Genre: Hybrid!Taehyung, Fluff, Angst, slight smut

Paring: TaehyungXreader

Word-count: 5K

Warnings: Abuse, unjust, anxiety, forcing, animalistic feelings, panic-attacks, teasing, chasing, indication of mating, dominance

Summary: You’ve never liked the idea of hybrids, since it’s straight up abuse from a owner to a hybrid, they aren’t treated like humans. But what happens when your boss gave you a hybrid as a gift?

A/N: y’all, we’re on 1100 followers?? Where are you people coming from? Well, welcome to the family anyways lol xD. btw, should I add smut the next part? Or is it rushed idk.

Masterlist

‘If you talk back to me, you will be punished. If you refuse to give me what I want, you will be punished. So watch what you do little kitten.’ The woman whispered into the hybrid’s ear, hissing every word out while she has a tight grip onto his jaw. He closes his eyes, scared till death that she will maybe hurt him if he accidentally makes a sound. He doesn’t know why she suddenly became so edgy, he hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary. He hadn’t broken anything in the house, he hadn’t complained. Nothing, literally nothing. But still, she was mad at him.

’Say it.’

‘Yes m’am.’ He says with a shaky voice. He now could feel the tears coming up and this time, he isn’t able to hold back. He just wants to cry, even in his little room for that matter. He doesn’t want to be close to her, but does he have a choice? No, not at all. If he doesn’t obey her, she will eventually send him back to the factory, where he got created. From there, they would give him therapy, everything to change him and to send him to another person.

‘Good kitten. now, go and lay on the bed and open your legs as far as you can manage. I will get the whip, because you need to be punished.’

You wake up to the annoying and familiar tune denoting through your room, making you awoke in an instant. You let out a groan, turning to your side to turn off the alarm clock on your little night-stand. You rested your hand on your head for a little second as you look at the time, noticing it’s already 10 am in the morning. There is no stress though, since it’s the time of the holidays. You’re free for at least 2 weeks.

Your plans were to take some rest these 2 weeks, but things have changed and that was only when yesterday evening your boss gave you a little ‘gift’. Your headache began to grow by thinking of the whole situation again. Though yesterday has been just fine with your little guest, you still don’t want to keep him. It’s the best for you. And you’re not only looking at your own feelings, but also at your life-style. A hybrid doesn’t fit into a ‘I get up at 8 and arrive home at 9’ kind of life-style. A hybrid needs care and attention in its life and sadly, you can’t give it to him.

You get up from your bed, head spinning a bit to the fact that you had just woken up. As you walk into the living room, you see Taehyung sitting straight on the couch, just looking out of the window. It looks rather odd. It’s as if he hasn’t done anything else than sitting there, in his pajamas while looking outside. Though, he looks fucking beautiful like this, even in the morning, but you still can’t stop worrying about his odd behavior.

You walk closer to him, making him turn his head as a smile suddenly blasted along his face. He still has that beautiful smile from yesterday, which you really adore about him. His whole face in general is a piece of art, not even one flaw that you could find upon it.

‘You’re an early bird, Taehyung, why don’t we make some breakfast for you?’ You ask, curiously waiting for his response. Though you don’t really know what he’d like to eat, you thought that he might also like pancakes, like you do, so that would be perfect for breakfast. It’s just, you’re so curious of his reaction some times, since he has been living in quite a sad environment, so what would he be comfortable and uncomfortable with?

‘Yea, I’d like that very much maste-… ___, I meant.’ He corrected himself vastly and you just smile at him, hoping that he would get used to the new kind of living vastly. Like you’ve already told him, you’re someone who sees everyone as equals and he needs to understand that term, ‘equal’, because he hasn’t been one ever in his life.

‘Do you want pancakes? If you don’t like it, I can get you something else.’

Taehyung’s smile only grew wider as he furiously nods his head, like he is getting some treat. It makes you smile in response, but deep down it still got you mad. You know you’re gonna kill some bitches if this was his first normal meal in his life.

A few minutes past and you had gotten ready 4 pancakes, 2 per person in this house. You’d had to convince him to sit on a chair, because he didn’t felt like he had as much right as you to sit on one. You had the urge to slap that nonsense out of his head. You can’t imagine someone has this kind of self-perspective. You came to a conclusion that he must’ve been brainwashed when younger, there isn’t any other option.

After some arguing, he finally sat down, still feeling pretty uncomfortable about it. You know you shouldn’t have forced him to sit down already, but you just can’t bear to see him sitting on the ground, eating his food like a fucking pet. He is a human for heaven’s sake, he deserves to sit on a normal chair.

‘How does it taste?’ You ask, smiling as you see him furiously eating his food. He tries to speak through, but only ended up on almost choking himself. You giggle as you vastly got a glass of water for him and he quickly drank it as soon as you placed the glass down on the table. He coughed a few times before replying with ‘It’s very delicious, thanks ___.’ and a big smile noticeable. ‘I’m happy to hear that.’ You responded.

You ate the rest of your food quietly, your mind wandering as you kept questioning about Taehyung’s past. You don’t know if this is the right time to ask him anything, if it’s even allowed. You just want to understand him, why he reacts the way he does on certain things. Once you understand, you might be able to get easier around him.

‘Taehyung?’

He looks up questionable, replying with a quick ‘Yes, ___?’

‘What was your life like in the last house you had to stay in? Like, your last owner?’ You bite your lip as you gazed at him. He stopped eating and placed down his cutlery. He looks bothered, his tail suddenly sweeping around as he looks down at his lap. You cock your head to the side, analyzing every little movement he makes. His fluffy ears are twitching too and you begin to think that you maybe shouldn’t have asked him that question, he really looks uncomfortable.

‘I-It was different from you. Like… I had to take a lot of orders and stuff…’ You can hear the way his voice became shaky and soon realized that he was on verge of crying. Your eyes widen as you heart sank, immediately scolding yourself for asking such a question. You don’t know what to do and you panic slightly. You want to stand up and wrap your arms around him, but you also don’t want to get too attached to this creature. Like yesterday, when he hugged you, you had felt this weird urge to hold him too, to feel him close and you’re just scared for another reaction like that.

‘’I-If you talk back to me, you will be… punished. If you r-refuse to give me what I want, you will be p-punished. So watch what you do little kitten.’, those were her words…’ He had printed those rules into his head like he printed the alfabeth in his head. He had to remember them, he didn’t want to get punished. Punishments were so tiring and scary, most of the times he would cry or have a panic attack after the punishments. He couldn’t say he hated them, he can’t have a opinion in this world. Well, that’s what he has been thought.

It was once different though. First, he was like every other boy. A human. He had a joyful youth, he had lovely parents and lovely friends. It was only until his parents died in a crash and all the money vanished into thin air, that he had no bright future anymore. One day, a guy came up to him and talked him into a deal that would be life-changing. Like a madman, desperate for money, he agreed to the deal. Little did he know, that he would be transformed into a fucking cat.

Oh boy, he had resisted so much. To every owner he had to go, he just hissed and complained. His hate was so great towards the company, but at some point in his life, he just gave up. It had been 2 years already and he got so much therapy that he just let himself brainwash, knowing it’s probably the best option to take. He’d rather just not-know than to feel the pain of losing any identity of himself.

He suddenly feels a tear falling onto his lap and he immediately knew he fucked up. Caught up in his own feelings, he let himself fall on the ground and began to bow for you.

‘Bow for me little kitten! Like the little asian slut that you are.’ those words never failed to run through his mind for a couple times a day

You gasp as he bows in front of you, whispering soft apologies for crying in front of you as he doesn’t dare to look up into your eyes. You just stiffened, shocked by the event that is occurring right now. Your head doesn’t seem to catch up, so confused to why he would literally bow to you in apologizing manners. It took you at least 10 seconds before you stood up in a rush, reaching the same level as he was on and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him up and looked for his eyes. His eyes are all buffed up and the tears kept falling down as small cries left his lips. You can literally see the pain, so much pain he had felt along the years, but hadn’t dared to show it.

You pulled him close against your body, arms around his torso as you let his head rest on your shoulder. After a while he also held your body, arms surrounding you and calming down slowly as he shoo-ed away the memories. You began to gently pet his hair and that really helped him, feeling the joyful strokes taking away his worries. You effect him in such a good way.

‘Don’t do that again Taehyung. Never apologize for showing your feelings towards another person. It’s a human thing, like you. You’re human and don’t forget that.’

‘Well damn, why would he do that to you?’

You sigh in response, shrugging as you sip on your hot coco. You look outside through the window as strangers pas the cafe where you’re seated in. You and your friend, Iris, decided on a quick get-together after you’d told her what’s going on right now in your life. You just had to relieve some frustration and Iris is the perfect person for that task. After you’d lulled Taehyung into sleep and he had cried for a long time, you’d gone to a nearby cafe and waited fro Iris to arrive.

‘I have no fucking idea, he things I’m that desperate or something.’ you sigh again, looking back at Iris. She shakes her head in disbelieve, also getting tired of this bullshit. She has the same opinion on the whole ‘hybrid’ thing, finding it also above what can be approved into this world and hearing all the stories you’ve already told about Taehyung, she only gets more irritated.

‘I swear, I’m this close to sue those mother fuckers, along with your weird ass boss.’

You agree with her. When Taehung finally got back to sleep, you began thinking about what he had said. That people really would hurt him like that, demanding things on such a cruel way. So fucked up.

‘I will be going back now, before Taehyung wakes again.’

‘Aren’t you planning on keeping him? He seems way happier in your house than anywhere else.’ She asks, standing up as you do the same. You bite your lower lip, thinking about what she asked. You know he is happy with you, it’s not a secret for you. His eyes has been twinkling the moment you give him affection and it looks like he hasn’t felt such love in years now. But what you also know, there is something different between the both of you. Something that wants you to be closer to him as well and you’re kinda scared of it. Maybe it’s the same kind of attraction all those other owners felt and made them do horrible things to Taehyung. You don’t want him to experience that with you.

‘I better can not. But I’ll try to get him out of this fucked system for sure.’ You say with a nod, planning on keeping your words. You’ve already thought of different alternatives, like bringing him to a shelter, a place where brainwashed hybrids like him can get treatment and have a happy home. You know a place like that exists, you just have to find it. It must be deeply hidden for society, since Hy-tech probably doesn’t want their own creations to be taken away. But, how long it will even take, you will get him save for sure.

‘Sounds like a plan.’ Iris smiles and pays the bill, making your frown. You want to protest, not liking that she is paying for you, but she hushes you. ‘You will pay the next time, don’t worry. You already have too much shit on your head anyways.’. You chuckle as you give her a quick hug before the both of you go your own way.

Iris really is a good friend, she always stays beside you and helps you on these hard days where you’re just lost. It’s also nice that she has the same mind-set as you, like a true friend.

When you arrive at home, the house is again silent and Taehyung is nowhere to be seen yet. You walk up to his room to check on him and as you walk inside, you see the sleeping body of the hybrid. You smile, happy that he’s able to get some rest. He must’ve been awake for a long time, maybe he hasn’t even been able to sleep at all last night. You don’t yet know what he’s been going through, you could only peek through a little hole to understand him, but it was enough for you to know that you have to be careful with him. He is broken, though he doesn’t let you know it.

You look on your watch, seeing that it’s only 1 pm and you still have a whole day ahead. Maybe you could get Taehyung out a little, taking him along your day. You were planning on grocery shopping anyways. Maybe he even wants to have some input in your choice of diner tonight. But for now, you let him sleep, the little trip can wait for a few hours.

You close his door again and walked to your couch to turn on the television, putting on some netflix series you haven’t been able to keep up with, since your job takes a lot of time. Though your job isn’t somewhat important, it still requires a lot of effort in your day, being a secretary at the company. The company itself is pretty big, having a base in many different countries, but having the headquarters at Korea. You are doing work for a department leader, keeping up with his schedule and all that stuff around it. It’s not interesting at all, it tires you out pretty much to be honest, but it pays the bills.

4 hours had past and you’re all caught up in the series that you’ve been watching for the past time. It was not until Taehyung walked into the room, rubbing his eyes and having a small pout, that you got out of your intoxication. He looks dinky like this, pouting and his eyes all puffed up. You gave him a small smile as you stand up yourself, looking at the clock to see it’s already 5 pm.

‘We’re going grocery shopping, well, if you want to come of course.’

He cocks his head to the side before slowly nodding, having to start up his system first since he just woke up. You chuckle as you walk up to him, petting his head for a second as he immediately leans in, a purr leaving his body as his eyes closed. Then you decided that he really loves to be pet. It’s not something to be shocked about, since he is still a cat, well, a lion.

His tail held onto your leg and his body came closer as if you’re some magnet. His arms were quick to get around your waist and to pull you close against his chest, sniffing your scent at your neck as he held you close. You’re somewhat startled by his affection towards you al of a sudden and you could feel some kind of feeling creeping up your body as well, making you dizzy. You want to hold him so close to you as if some animalistic feeling came up into you.

‘___, you smell so nice. My perfect mate…’ He cooed and you almost let out a moan by his words, but was quickly to take a step back with widened eyes. Fuck, what is he doing to you? You’re never someone to be effected by words or actions. How is he able to get you feeling so… different?

‘M-Mate?’ You stutter, genuinely questioning what he meant by that. He himself has to go back down to earth to understand what he just said and he gasped in response. He seems to be lost for words, looking around to avoid eye-contact. He is confused too. He would never say such a thing, not to his owner, not to anyone. But if he has to be completely honest, he does feels some really strong attraction when he comes closer to you and he doesn’t know if it’s just him or a real cause.

’Sorry, I just felt… I don’t know how to explain…’ He tries to find his words, but nothing can get up to him. You let out a breath, letting go of the tension within you and decide on just ignoring what had happened. If it was something that’s really important, it will come eventually. You’ve just met yesterday, so rushing anything out of the ordinary isn’t needed, also talking about the fact that he won’t be staying long at this house. This only made you realize that you have to be quick on finding that shelter, because you’re already close to keep this son of a bitch.

‘Just, put on some clothes.’ You say, gesturing to his room and he just nodded, knowing that this subject better be avoided for now. You both know it, you know something is up. For him, it isn’t really something to worry about, since it’s almost as clear as water, but he simply wants to avoid mating with his own owner. You on the other hand doesn’t understand it fully, you’re a human and you don’t have anything so called ‘animalistic’ in you blood. Well, maybe somewhere deep within you, you know what’s going on. But to you it doesn’t really make any sense right now.

Only 30 minutes later, the both of you were calmly walking back from the grocery store. The store is only 300 meters away from your little house, so walking there has never been a problem. The both of you haven’t spoken a word to each other since that one moment at the apartment. Apart from the little questions as ‘would you like to eat this’, nothing has been said. It’s not an uncomfortable silence thought, you’re just walking beside each other, enjoying the fresh air.

‘I’m sorry.’ Taehyung suddenly spoke. You huff, finding it somewhat ironic that he apologizes for something like this. He has nothing to feel sorry for, he doesn’t do anything intentional. He probably still feels very affected by the littlest of skinship between the both of you and you’re not blaming him for that, never.

‘Don’t be, it’s not your fault.’ You say, smiling at him as you try to comfort him. ‘You were just very effected by my touch, nothing else.’

‘No, it’s not like that ___.’ He says quietly, but with a stern tone. You frown as you wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t say anything else. You bite your lip, now curious to his response. You know there is something, you simply don’t get it. He knows that too, since you’re a human being, you can’t feel certain things. Or maybe you do, but you can’t place it as well as an animal can. It’s logical.

‘Then what is it like?’

It was silent for a few seconds. Taehyung is deciding on wether to tell you or to not tell you. He really goddamn wants to though, he wants to be with you as soon as possible, ever since he realized what has been going on. It’s like that in his world, once he knows you’re his mate, he will chase after you like you’re a pray. But he also knows that he can’t do that with his own owner, you are his leader, not his mate. It goes against the rules of his nature, but how can he ignore something this obvious?

‘Do you really want to know?’ He asks carefully, glancing up into your awaiting eyes. You nod and you’re not lying at all, what is there that you can’t seem to see? You know it must be something with the whole ‘mate’ thing. But what does that include? You don’t really know anything for that matter, you’re not really good informed about hybrids in general, what their animalistic features are including.

‘So, what I’ve been feeling and probably you too… Is what we call ‘finding your mate’.’ He tries to explain, making you more confused. ‘What is a mate?’ You ask. He hesitates again, maybe he shouldn’t tell you, maybe you aren’t ready for the truth. What if you don’t even want him? He knows that he can’t stay away from his mate, but humans surely can if they just ignore their intuition. It’s simple for humans, really.

‘It’s someone who you’re destined to be with. When you touch, you’d feel electrician go through your veins and you would feel very affected by each other. It’s what I feel with you and you also with me.’

‘Why do I feel it? I’m human…’ You’re confused. You once had read somewhere that animals have like a ‘mate’ or something, but you’ve never heard that it’s also with humans. Not human-to-human at least.

‘It must be because I feel it so strong, that it effects your body.’ He now turns back to look in front of him, but you just kept your gaze on his, startled and shocked. If it’s true what he is saying, then you are destined to be with a hybrid. That can’t be, you can’t be partnered up with a half-human-half-animal person. That can’t be…

‘Ah, we’re home.’ Taehyung declares, bringing you back to earth. You fish your keys out of your pocket an opened the door, letting in the hybrid first before you step inside, still having deep thoughts over the whole situation. You don’t know what to think nor do at that moment. What if Taehyung’s right? What if you’re destined to be with each other? Do you have to take him into your house? That’s just impossible, thinking back to your life-style and the amount of money you get. Yes, you earn enough money to spend on yourself, but two people?

‘___… You should know that I won’t stop trying to get closer to you… It’s my nature to do so, so I’m sorry if it might make you uncomfortable.’ He is genuinely sorry for his behavior and he knows what’s about to come once he will really want to get closer to you, to feel you and kiss you and fuck you- no, not yet. You need to get eased into the idea of being together with him first. He can’t make you his when you yourself hasn’t made up your mind yet. Because once you will be his mate, thinks will furiously change. He would be able to smell you, know where you are, know what you feel. Being mated is something really affectional and intimate, something you’re really willing to do.

You again bite on your lip upon hearing his words. You nod your head slowly, trying to understand where he’s coming from. This morning he was still this cute and sad thing, wandering around your house. But now it feels as if you need to stay away as much as possible from him. You can’t grow feelings for this boy, though your body says differently, you need to get your head straight.

‘I’ll make us diner now.’ You declare and he nods, letting you trespass. He clenched his jaw, already feeling the urge to grab you and hold you close to him, but he held himself strong. He walks behind you to the kitchen, wanting to see how you will be preparing his meal. Though he has been almost blind to see anything else but your smell and affection the last few hours, he still very much appreciate the effort you put in stay at your home. Like this morning, he was so caught up in his own shit, that he almost broke himself. It was you who saved him to keep him thinking straight and it was then that he knew that you were something more than just his owner. Only his real mate could comfort him with just a single touch.

The night went on slowly, feeling the constant tension between the both of you. It wasn’t a tension of awkwardness, it was a tension that was unexplainable for you, but knowingly for Taehyung. It’s like a process, finding your mate. First it’s confusion from both of the sides, trying to figure out why you feel so attracted. Then realization, what is mostly even more confusing. Then you’re going to open yourself up to your mate, sending out certain energy which will catch the significant other. It’s not something you do on purpose, it’s something that nature arranges.

Every single movements he takes, every single breath and noise, you are aware of it. It’s as if your senses are on its highest level. You’ve never been so aware of someone else and it’s so strange. He is just sitting on the couch next from you, doing nothing much but it still got you off guard when he moves only a little bit. Taehyung feels the same and he moves on purpose to get you on edge, making you to want him. He knows it’s sinful that he does that to you, his own owner, but you don’t know it’s on purpose, so nothing will go wrong right? By that, once he gets you in his arms, he will be the dominant one in the relationship. It’s how it goes in the animal world, the male is always leading.

You’ve been noticing something like that too, a weird type of feeling flowing through the air. He suddenly gives these leader-vibes, like he suddenly owns this room, though he hasn’t done anything differently.

‘Can I sit next to you like yesterday?’ Taehyung suddenly asked and you just nod without thinking, soon regretting your choice. Because, when he leans up against your body, head on your shoulder and softly purring under his breath, you almost couldn’t stop but to press your thighs close to each other. Your body is literally on fire, this much of an affection he has on you. fuck fuck fuck, ___, keep it together. What in god’s sake is wrong with you?

Suddenly, Taehyung shoots his head up from your shoulder and looks at you with widened eyes. His eyes travel down to your crotch for a split second, making you scared for his reaction. He knows it, he knows that your body is literally graving for his attention right now.

‘___, are you that horny? I have been trying to ignore the smell for a whole hour now, but you’re literally screaming for me aren’t you?’

His voice was very low and you couldn’t do anything but to nod silently, enchanted by his dominant behavior. He has you right where he has been wanting you, he only didn’t though that you would be getting worked up about it so fast. He wants to touch you so bad right now and his body is also graving you, but it’s still too fast. You’re a human, you will end up regretting sleeping with him and will throw him out. That is how humans are after al, throwing away their worries like it’s nothing.

He grabs your waist and pins you down onto the couch, his body between your legs as you see his ears twitch in nervousness, but eyes dark and lustful. His tail is around your leg affectively and his eyes roam over your body, hands rubbing your waist.

‘I’d love to fuck you all night, princess, but we can’t. Because you first need to make up that pretty little mind of yours before I mark you as my own mate.’ He says, hips making small movements against yours to still create a little friction. Your body twitches under his, a loud moan leaving your mouth as the tension breaks between you two.

‘Just wait a little, we’ll get there.’

He gets off with a smirk, leaving you in your state and got to his own room. He wants to get you flustered like that, to manipulate your thoughts. He is going to get you to be his own and nothing will stand in his way.

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khimmortal · 7 years

Text

skinny love | one

skinny love (n.) - when two people are in love with each other but didn’t want to admit it, not even to themselves

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader (ft. kim taehyung)

genre: college!au/high school!au; fluff (slight angst)

word count: 6.1k

a/n: my first attempt at writing after a loooooong while and my very first attempt at long plots/multichap and non-anime fic. i’m so sorry if this is all over the place plot-wise and writing-wise :( they’re all about the same age here, btw

Summary: Of what-ifs and regrets and lost bonds and missed chances.

"You really need to stop sulking all the time.”

Jeon Jungkook looked up from his seat by the window at the secluded corner of the university library. He was staring at the scenery outside when the voice interrupted his reverie. He sighed.

“What do you want?” He blankly asked.

The girl just rolled her eyes at him, “Namjoon and Seokjin are looking all over for you. Apparently, you skipped your class again.”

Jungkook just rolled his eyes, “It’s none of your business.”

“It’s not. I don’t really care, you know. But Namjoon has stuff to do so he asked me a favour to look for you because only god knows why those boys care about you.”

He glared at her, mouth thinning to a line.

The girl only glared back, “One of the few guys who can effortlessly ace his classes is actually a bastard who takes it for granted and does not give a fuck.” She sneered at him. He glared harder.

She turned around and was on her way to the door when she stopped and said, “Get your ass back to class or you’ll get dropped by Mr. Choi from his class.”

He’s an ass.

Jeon Jungkook would always be an ass no matter how much time has passed.

On the other hand, if that guy’s an ass, then you’re an idiot. You’re an idiot for thinking that maybe, just maybe, after five long years of knowing each other he would soften up.

Ugh. Bastard.

Five years ago

You glanced at your watch for the nth time. More than an hour has passed and still no sign of Kim Taehyung. You were planning to go to the bookstore to buy highlighters. He asked if he could come. You both promised to meet at the train station at exactly 10a.m.

I swear to God I’m gonna castrate that boy, childhood friendship be damned.

Fifteen minutes after, you were huffing and cursing your childhood friend because he’s still not answering his phone and you finally decided to just continue on your way when all of a sudden, a hand clamped on your shoulder.

You froze for a second before abruptly turning around to see that boxy grin you knew all too well.

You were just about to open your mouth with a string of curses and other things when he said, “Hey, Y/N! I’m so, so sorry for being late! Don’t be mad.” His hands were clasped together, his form hunched, and he has that hesitant grin on his face but you could see the fear in his eyes.

You could feel your irritation at him draining away. You shook your head and sighed—he took a step back and you almost smiled. “Whatever. I almost castrated you if you were a minute later, just so you know.”

Taehyung straightened up and put his arm on your shoulder, leading you towards the mall, “Luck is on my side then. Besides, I didn’t mean to be late. An old friend suddenly came over without warning and no one was at home so I had to clean up and allow him to settle. He’s staying with us from now on.”

You raised a brow at this, “At your dorm? I thought you don’t accept ‘outsiders’ aside from you six?”

He laughed at what you said, “You’re making it seem like we’re anti-social. We have other friends, you know. We just like to stick together. Anyhoo, this guy has been our friend even back then, way back to our diaper days in our old town. I even knew him before you, Y/N.”

You were surprised at this, because you’ve known Taehyung since third grade when his family moved to the city. However, during the first year of high school, five guys came from his old town—his brothers in everything except by blood, he told you—to study in and settle in the city. They all decided to stay at one place they call their dorm.

Those guys are the coolest bunch you’ve met though. Their attitude clashed with one another but at the same time, they complimented each other so well. You became close to them because of Taehyung, because of how he always dragged you to their place to hang out. It’s been years since then. You’re all seniors now.

“Really? Why didn’t you mention him before?”

Taehyung’s smile faltered a bit and you pretended not to notice, “He cut off all his ties with us until last week. He was supposed to move here with the others during the start of high school but his parents decided to migrate to the States. They took him with them.”

“Oh.” You didn’t ask for more. You understood that despite being childhood friends, there were things that you don’t share with each other. Especially with your personalities.

“He has a good reason for what he did. It may sound cheesy but I’m just really glad we’re complete again.” He continued.

You could hear the relief in his voice. You knew how strong their bond is so you’re curious about this new boy who’s suddenly barging in their lives (again, it seemed) and Taehyung was anything but mad. He was even relieved, happy even.

Two days after, you couldn’t wait until Math’s over and it hasn’t even started yet because who the hell decided to invent such thing. You used to be good at this until someone decided numbers weren’t enough so let’s put the alphabet to make things more interesting.

You were already dozing off at your seat near the back by the window when your teacher announced that there’s a new student. All heads perked up, suddenly interested.

“This is Jeon Jungkook, everyone. He’s our new senior.”

You’re not really the type to gush over guys, and good looks don’t sway you anymore because come on, being friends with Kim Taehyung—you didn’t want to admit it but the guy looks ethereal—made you like that. Add to that that those guys he’s living with weren’t normal-looking guys either, not at all.

Girls tend to either befriend you or hate you because you’re close with them. Although, that’s another story you’re not really inclined to dwell on.

To say that this guy in front of the classroom looked good would be the biggest understatement.

If the screams and squeals of almost all the girls in your class weren’t proof of that then it’s probably their sighs and giggles.

He has dark, doe-like eyes that looked like they’re gonna swallow you whole. He has an aristocratic nose, thin lips, fair skin—god, why do these men have better skin than she has—lean body, and topping it off with golden brown hair that covered his forehead and almost reaching his eyes.

You were too busy staring that you didn’t hear anyone, not the whispering of your classmates, or your teacher’s words, “we have a faculty meeting so this period’s free, okay? Don’t loiter around and don’t be noisy.” She turned to Jungkook, “Mr. Jeon, go take a seat next to Y/N over there,” she pointed at the vacant seat beside yours.

His gaze shifted to you and you were taken aback by the intensity of his eyes.

You weren’t fond of eye contact but his stare was just too intense you couldn’t look away. He started heading your way without breaking eye contact.

You unconsciously moved a bit farther from his seat—something inside you screams danger and feelings when you look at this guy. You didn’t want any of those.

He was about to sit beside you when you managed to divert your gaze. You turned your head towards the window, trying to act as if it wasn’t the first time a guy has managed to make your heart beat a little bit faster than normal. It’s as if his presence wasn’t intimidating you—urging something inside of you to run away and hide from those dark eyes.

You could feel his stare and you almost got up from your chair because it was just too much. This wasn’t you; you weren’t the type to be affected by someone, much else merely by their presence.

“Hey, JK! Did you make sure to lock the doors?” Taehyung’s voice interrupted your thoughts, it also made Jeon Jungkook’s stare to shift from you. You looked over at Taehyung, sitting two seats away from you.

“Yeah,” answered the boy beside you. His voice is in contrast with his piercing eyes.

Taehyung smirked, “Welcome to this school, man.” He then turned to you, “Hey Y/N! This is Jungkook, our old buddy. JK, this is Y/N, my oldest, lovely, annoying friend here in the city. She’s also close with the guys, by the way.”

You rolled your eyes, “Geez, thanks. Look who’s talking; Am I really the annoying one, Tae?”

Taehyung just laughed out loud, “I know you love me either way.”

You can see Jungkook switching his gaze from between you and Taehyung from the corner of your eyes.

Jimin bounded over, clapping both Jungkook and Taehyung on their backs and giving you a wide smile. “Let’s order pizza later, guys! It’s the first day of school!” He then turned to you, “you should come over, Y/N. Someone has to beat Taehyung up when he’s getting annoying.”

“Hey!” Taehyung protested and you just giggled. “Why are we celebrating out first day of school? That’s just crazy, Chim.” You pointed out.

Jimin just beamed even more, “it’s also to celebrate our reunion with Kookie here.” He explained, slinging an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders.

“As long as there’s free food, I’m in. Can we also please get ice cream?” You gave your you-can’t-resist-me-because-I’m-the-only-girl-in-your-circle smile

Taehyung was the one to answer, “Of course, Your Highness! Anything else you want?”

You stuck your tongue at him, “That’s all, slave.”

“Why don’t you guys date already?” Jimin asked innocently.

If you weren’t so used to that same old question, you would have blushed to the roots of your hair; but it’s been years since they’ve been teasing you both. You just shrugged, went with the flow, “I don’t know. Maybe it’s because it’s Kim Taehyung and I’ve known him since he used to cry when he scraped his knees?”

Taehyung just laughed out loud, “Ouch! Man, I just got childhood friendzoned again.”

Jimin shook his head at your bickering, he turned to Jungkook, “I’m never gonna be sure if they’re love birds or cats and dogs.”

“Ah.” Jungkook said, looking at the both of you.

As days turned to weeks turned to months, you found out that Jeon Jungkook was almost a genius. He managed to land himself the second spot in your year level ranking. He surpassed you and Jimin, and was right behind the resident genius, Kim Namjoon.

To be honest, it was frustrating because the goddamn boy was just good at everything—best at everything. He’s good at sports—giving Yoongi a hard time at basketball. He has a black belt in taekwondo, trained at bowling, a swimmer, and many others. The guy probably didn’t have anything he couldn’t do.

Not to mention, his good looks. The whole time since he got here, girls swooned at him. They kept on asking him out, batting their eyelashes at him, giggling and squealing whenever he’s around.

However, he has never shown any interest towards the opposite gender. He’s mostly apathetic towards everyone especially those girls. He’s not rude, though. He just turns them down politely but with that reservation that you somehow started to associate with him.

He only ever showed other emotion when he’s with Taehyung and the others. You managed to see him smirk whenever he beat Taehyung at games or when he’s teasing Jimin. You once saw him bicker with Seokjin, laugh at Hoseok’s antics, and played with Yoongi with that carefreeness you never thought he could have. A voice inside you thought that this was probably the real him, still laid-back but carefree and having fun. Something tugged at your heart seeing how much he cared for them—this guy who’s indifferent to others. All these moments you witnessed from the sidelines, whenever you’re hanging out with the guys.

You’re not exactly friends with him, aside from the usual nod or wave or small smiles of recognition whenever you see each other. Despite being a frequent visitor in their dorm and the boys being your main circle of friends, you’ve never really interacted with him—not that either of you ever tried anyway.

Your first real interaction with him came one mundane school day, when your Chemistry teacher, Ms. Go decided she wanted to divide the class into pairs for her subject’s final research paper.

Groans and complaints filled the room because research papers were no joke, especially with how fastidious and critical your teacher was. “This is a head start for you when you make research papers and thesis papers in college or post-graduate studies,” you heard her explain. “This paper will comprise 25% of your grade. Proposals should be passed Monday next week. If I were you, I’d start making a time frame right away to make sure you have enough time for the experimentation, which is crucial since you might not succeed the first time. Also, you need time for the paper itself. I expect real stuff, everyone. Even the related literature must be taken seriously. Three weeks from now, you will have to submit the introduction part. This is no ordinary paper; you will have to defend your work after you submit the final paper. So now, for the partners…” she started calling out names of pairs.

You weren’t fond of long paper works; much less scientific research papers; but you know you love this subject and that your teacher’s right and you’ve got to start preparing and learning as much as you can if you wanted to survive college and get into a medical school right after.

So you just sat back on your seat, listening as your teacher assigned the class into pairs, “Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok,” you smiled before hearing, “Aw, man. We’re screwed.” Hoseok groaned out.

“Why do you do this to us, Ma’am?” Yoongi whined at your teacher.

Both of them hated anything related to academics. Yoongi just wanted to make music and play basketball while Hoseok just wanted to dance. You’re pretty sure they’re gonna ask either Namjoon or Jimin or even you to help them.

“Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin,” you looked over to see Taehyung throwing his fist in the air. “Yes! We got this, Jiminie,” he chirped. Jimin just shook his head with a smile on his lips, “Yeah, of course.”

Your teacher continued to call out names, “Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin.” You giggled. This paper would be a piece of cake for those two, especially for Namjoon. That guy’s a walking genius. You saw them gave each other a high five. “We should eat steak while doing our paper.” Seokjin suggested, Namjoon just laughed and said, “Let’s ace this thing.”

You straightened up when your name got called out, “Y/N and Jeon Jungkook.” You stilled. You didn’t expect to be paired up with him. Your teacher finished dividing the class.

She continued on discussing the paper, “Make sure to work together with your partner! It’s gonna lessen the load and in a way, form a bond with the person you were paired up with. Good luck!” She ended, while beaming at the class.

You turned to Jungkook beside you, “Hey. We’re stuck with each other, huh?” you awkwardly started. Someone had to do it anyway. He looked at you, and you were shocked to see a small smile on his lips, it was just a little lift of the corner of his lips but it’s directed at you and you’re quite sure your heart skipped a beat. Snap out of it, girl

“Seems like it,” he said. Taehyung suddenly interjected, “Hey Jungkookie, take care of my baby, okay?” She’s not really good with people in general.” You rolled your eyes. “Please. You know I’m a big girl and a social butterfly, Tae.”

He snorted. “As if. Social butterfly, my ass. You’ll probably be all awkward and do all the work by yourself,” he jibed at you.

“Shut up. Whatever.” You huffed, although you know he’s right. You’re not really good when it came to socializing—maybe it’s just the way you were but a part of you knew it’s because you grew up with Taehyung and getting close to the guys. It unconsciously made a barrier between you and other people. No one dared to get close to you due to their aura; and even if someone tried, it’s mostly to get close to the guys. Most girls were like that.

They’re not really interested to be your friend. It kinda hurt at first. However, you managed to learn to be happy with what you have (those guys are your precious people) and not be affected by what others thought of you. You also learned not to trust easily—even if that’s not really a good thing, in a way.

Taehyung’s about to say something more when Jungkook piped in “Don’t worry. I got her.”

He’s just talking about the stupid paper but the delusional you thought otherwise. It probably didn’t show on your face but your heart’s fluttering at his words.

After a few seconds, you just brushed it off, the side of you who’s impenetrable to such petty feelings; that part who’s only ambitious and wanted to be a doctor more than everything else, taking over. You changed the topic, turning once again to Jungkook, “We can search for feasible topics and just compile them. Then, we can just pick the most plausible ones and submit them,” you suggested.

Jungkook thought about it for a second before nodding, “Yeah, we can do that. Once a topic gets approved, we can start working on the Introduction right away.” He agreed.

From your peripheral view, you saw Taehyung returning to his seat, but not before muttering ‘nerds’, and then engaging Jimin in a conversation. You focused back to Jungkook, “It’s settled then. We can work in the library for our paper; we can have access to science journals if we just ask the librarian for our school account.”

He just nodded again, before saying something that made you laugh. “Should we also get steak while doing our paper?”

“I prefer pizza instead, with lots of cheese and bacon.” You proposed. He smirked then, and you have to admit that he really looked good. “Don’t forget buffalo wings.”

You just laughed again. You didn’t expect it would be this easy to talk to him. “Well, I think that’s our game plan,” you held out your hand, “…to acing our research paper.” He looked at your held-out hand before lifting his and grasping yours—his hand was big and rough. He shook your hand, “We’re gonna beat Namjoon at this, I’m sure of it.”

It wasn’t much but after this light (first) conversation, you didn’t know it then but it was the start of something that cannot be stopped.

Surprisingly, you found yourself spending more and more time with him. Things were going smoothly, your teacher nodding at both of you in approval when you passed the Introduction part of your paper three weeks after since you’ve been paired up.

He’s mostly quiet, was usually the one who listened as you chattered about something mundane and trivial. You’re one to talk for a long time, if you feel comfortable with the person. Despite being reserved, he still managed to respond to your stories, throwing a comment here and there, even giving advices sometimes when you rant about something.

It’s never a one-sided conversation. There were days when he’s sharing bits of himself, which still managed to surprise you.

One time, you found out that he’s afraid of microwaves—you burst out laughing, incredulous because being scared of microwaves is so weird—‘I always worry whether or not they will explode'.

Another thing was that he really loved his sleep. He hated it when someone wakes him up. Also, there’s this fact that he liked to sleep without clothes on—how you found this one out, you tried to bury from your mind.

There were times when he would tease you just to annoy you; there were times when he would play a prank on you. You both pick on Taehyung and Jimin though, annoying them both.

It turned out; Jeon Jungkook wasn’t one to make friends easily. He’s shy and awkward especially with girls. He wouldn’t open up easily to someone unless he’s okay with your personality. Jimin once said, “You’re so awesome, Y/N. You wormed your way towards Jungkookie’s heart in such a short time. It even took us a while before he opened up to us.” You dismissed his words right after.

However, there were moments when you could feel Jungkook distancing himself from you. It’s not outright, no; you would see him stiffening—it’s almost imperceptible but you’re good at reading people—as if realizing something before subtly moving away by an inch. Sometimes, he would put his arm around your shoulders but after a couple of seconds, he would remove it as if the gesture was unintended.

There were times when he’s too quiet; when he’s too reserved, too guarded. There were these moments but you didn’t say anything. Besides, such moments were rare. You dismissed them as him wanting his personal space.

Time passed by quickly and it’s almost time to pass your final paper. You’re almost done with the paper but it’s the defence that’s getting to your nerves. You’re worrying about the fact that there’s a panel who’s gonna ask questions. It wasn’t really the questions but the part that you have to make eye contact and actually answer them face to face.

You’re on your second cup of coffee at Starbucks with Jungkook, trying to finish the manuscript. You glanced at him, sipping from your caramel macchiato, “I think we need to find another RRL. I feel like what we have isn’t enough. “you pointed out.

He looked up from typing on his laptop, “What we have is the most in-depth and most thorough from what we researched. It’s also the most recent in our database, and even online. I think it’s enough,” he assured you.

“I know. Just… it still feels like it’s lacking something.”

He took a sip from his Americano and said, “It’s relevant and directly related. There are gaps and weaknesses, true but we can put that in the review. It’s all good, Y/N. Stop overthinking. They won’t have a problem about it during the defence.”

He looked at you pointedly. He could see through you and your worries. Only a few months since you became friends and this guy could already read you like an open book. It’s touching and disconcerting at the same time.

You sighed. He’s probably right. You needed to stop panicking and just finish this goddamn paper.

In the months that passed by, you and Jungkook fell into a routine together.

You still mostly hung out with all of the guys in their dorm, playing games, eating, or just lazing around. Although, when most of them got tired and went back to their rooms, you and Jungkook usually were left behind. You would just talk, play games, or watch movies.

One time, you fell asleep on his shoulder while watching a comedy film because you were too tired—your periodic exams just finished and you stayed up all night the day before. You woke up and realized that the movie was over—the TV was off—but more than that, Jungkook didn’t move from his position. He was fast asleep but you woke up with your head still on his shoulder.

Another time, you were doing an experiment in the lab, some of your hair escaped the hair tie you tied it with and it almost got caught in a fire. You couldn’t fix it because your gloved hands were soaked with various chemicals. You were shocked when someone, Jungkook, pushed your hair out of the way. He asked you to turn around so that he could fix your hair. He freaking put it in a braid.

Your classmates saw what happened and both of you were bombarded with questions and teasing remarks. You and Jungkook just ignored all of them—acting as if it nothing happened.

“Oh, that’s so sweet!” a girl cooed.

“Awww, I want a boyfriend like that.”

“Are you guys dating?”

You also saw the knowing grins that Jimin and Hoseok shared with one another. Yoongi and Seokjin were smirking and Namjoon was just giving you a knowing look. Taehyung looked amused but he went back to his experiment right away.

Jungkook’s the first one you went to when you wanted to go or try something new—like that new Chinese restaurant that served those mouth-watering xiaolongbao for an affordable price.

Or that really cheap but really good ramen place found in a sketchy area full of foreigners who wanted to get drunk or have a ‘fun’ night.

Or that café that served your favourite butterbeer and cheesecake.

He never admitted to her out loud but for someone who didn’t like going out, he found it enjoying to try all these new places. He would never know if it wasn’t for her.

If only you knew how much he had fun and found it refreshing. Of the new places or the companion, he didn’t know. What he knew was that it tended to steer him to uncharted territories he’s not too inclined to explore—at least not yet.

You and Jungkook aced the defence and managed to get first place for having the best research in your class. You couldn’t help yourself so you threw your arms around his neck, hugging him while squealing. “Oh my god, we actually did it! We freaking aced it!” You gushed.

He was smirking, wrapping his arms around you. “Yeah, I told you so.” He said proudly.

You detached yourself from him, still beaming. “We should celebrate! Let’s eat our favourite ribs” You managed to find this restaurant who served ribs that both of you fell in love with.

He pondered for a moment and you saw hesitation in his eyes, your smile faltered a bit. Were you imposing? You didn’t expect his words though. “Yeah, let’s do that. We can also go the amusement park on Saturday. Since it’s a long weekend and we’re done with school stuff, anyway.” He proposed.

“Okay. That’s a great idea!” You agreed.

You were waiting for the train when you remembered, “Oh, I almost forgot. We should submit our application forms for college next week. I’m also gonna submit application forms for different scholarship programs. I’m almost done with the essays.” You told him.

“Jeez, don’t get overexcited. I’m sure you’ll get a scholarship. I’m also sure you’ll get into the university that you want. You’re gonna own your pre-med course.” He surmised.

You smiled, “Oh stop it. We’re all planning to enter the same university, even Tae and Yoongi. I’m also sure that you’re gonna own that Architecture course that you want to take. I’m looking forward to the future already. We’ll both be successful, I just know it.”

You went home that night feeling proud of what just transpired that day at school, with a full stomach from all the ribs that you ate for dinner.

You couldn’t wait for Saturday.

Neither could he.

You woke up two hours early before you’re set to meet Jungkook at the bus station. He said he had to do something before so you would just meet up there instead of him picking you up. You took your time eating breakfast, taking a bath, and brushing your teeth.

You went to your closet and decided on a black high-waisted shorts, white boxy-cropped top paired with your good ole converse topping it with a black baseball cap. You also brought a coat with you, just in case.

You heard a knock on your door so you made your way downstairs. You were surprised at the person standing on your doorstep.

“What are you doing here? You look all dressed up.”

That boxy grin was plastered on his face, “Hey! I heard you’re going to the amusement park with Jungkook. Can I come? He asked, excited.

You were about to refuse, because this is between you and Jungkook but Taehyung continued, “Please? You don’t hang out much with me anymore.” He’s smiling but you could see the hurt in his eyes.

“I’m not sure…” you hesitated.

He went on, “Don’t worry about JK, I’ll talk to him. Just take me with you, please.”

You reluctantly relented. I just hope this would turn well.

You and Taehyung met up with Jungkook. You didn’t miss the way he was shocked to see Taehyung, or how his brows furrowed. “Hi Kookie!” You greeted, trying to gauge his reaction. You didn’t usually use that nickname on him, unless you’re too happy or wanted to tease him. “Taehyung wanted to hang out and he found out we’re going to the amusement park and insisted to come along. Do you mind?”

He didn’t respond. Taehyung lifted his hand in greeting. “Hey JK! I won’t annoy you, I promise. I haven’t been to the amusement park with you guys before so I’m so stoked.” He chirped.

“Ah, it’s fine.” He replied, before turning around to buy tickets. You rode the bus and you sat between the two of them. Taehyung was chattering animatedly about random things and you listened, giving a comment now and then or rolling your eyes at something he said. On the other hand, Jungkook just kept on staring outside the window, ignoring the both of you.

You knew allowing Taehyung to come was a mistake. Jungkook didn’t like it when things didn’t go as planned, and having Taehyung in your supposed post-defence celebration certainly wasn’t on his mind. However, Kim Taehyung wouldn’t take no for an answer. He even used his card of guilt tripping you on how in the last few months, you were always with Jungkook.

It was true in a way. In the last few months, your friendship with Jungkook developed into something you both didn’t understand. It didn’t change your friendship with the others though, especially with Taehyung. You still did what you used to. You went to the bookstore with him, you ate out with him, and you still hang out with him like before.

You didn’t know what Jungkook was to you. He’s somewhat your best friend—something you never associated with anyone before. You confided in him. You’re most comfortable with him. You ranted to him. You did everything with him. He’s the closest person to you right now. He’s that person to you even if you weren’t sure if he feels the same, not that you’d ever voice it out loud to him anyway.

Even if you didn’t know what you have with Jungkook, Taehyung would still be your childhood friend. He would always have that special place in your heart. He would always be the one who video-called you at 4 o’clock in the morning just to show you his drawings of Vincent Van Gogh. He would always be that person who could drag you to the park at dawn—just to feel that bluishness and quietness. He’s that person who would make funny faces to cheer you up whenever you were feeling down.

Both boys were special to you but you didn’t really know how to deal with them both.

You sighed. This would be a long day.

You’ve always loved extreme rides—the adrenaline rush mostly, and that feeling you get in your stomach whenever you get thrown around in the air.

You’ve ridden almost every extreme ride except for the roller coaster. Taehyung’s afraid of heights but he insisted on riding it with you and sitting beside you and you conceded. You gave Jungkook an apologetic look. He just muttered an ‘it’s fine’ before sitting beside another teen.

You were waiting for the employee to fasten your seatbelt so you turned to glance at Jungkook from the space between your seat and Taehyung’s.

He’s just indifferent to what’s happening around him. He’s been like that the whole day. You still felt guilty. This was your entire fault. You should have promised Taehyung to go here some other time.

Your seatbelts were fastened and the ride was beginning to move when you felt Taehyung’s hand grab yours. He was holding on to it tightly, his eyes closed. You just shook your head, “Don’t you dare puke on me, Kim Taehyung.” You warned him.

He didn’t answer because the ride was too fast and you could feel his hold on your hand getting tighter. You didn’t notice the pair of eyes glaring at your clasped hands.

The ride was over but Taehyung was still holding your hand. He looked pale so you didn’t try to pull it from him. Besides, you’re used to holding his hand since third grade.

The whole time—in the Ferris wheel, except when you ate dinner, on the bus—until the moment you parted with them, Taehyung didn’t let go of your hand. He felt sick with the rides so you just let him.

The whole time someone else was glaring at your entwined hands.

Jungkook didn’t even bother saying a proper goodbye when you parted ways—he just nodded before taking off. He just went ahead, leaving Taehyung behind who gave you a hug and a Thank you, Y/N. Good night.

The Monday after, everything changed.

Jungkook started avoiding you. You didn’t mind it that much at first because you knew what happened last Saturday was your fault. You gave him space like you thought he wanted.

Days passed and he’s still ignoring you. He stopped sitting beside you at lunch. You once asked him to go to your favourite café but he said he’s busy with his college application papers. You found out the day after that he already submitted them last week, a day after you submitted yours—you remembered how he asked you to pass yours already because he hasn’t started his.

It’s been a month and he’s still not talking to you. Not in the way you used to, at least. The boys have started to notice. Jimin asked you during lunch when Jungkook left early to supposedly do some homework in the library. “Did you guys have a fight?”

You just shrugged, picking at your food. You already lost your appetite. Seokjin looked at you and spoke as well, “He’s been in a bad mood for a while now. Did something happen?” You could feel all their gazes at you, you looked up, and you saw concern in their eyes. Your insides felt heavy.

“I don’t know.” You sighed. You finally admitted. You turned to Taehyung, who’s looking at the seat Jungkook just vacated.

You continued. “He’s been like that since we came to the amusement park with Taehyung.” The boys aside from Taehyung just shared a glance with each other, as if realizing something you couldn’t.

You decided to confront Jungkook. He was cooling down from his taekwondo session with his team at the gym. No one else was there so you started, “What’s your problem?”

He looked at you apathetically. This wasn’t the Jungkook you became close with. “What?”

“Are you still mad about what happened in the amusement park? Because I brought Taehyung? Is that why you’re avoiding me?” You accused him.

He glared at you. “Don’t make assumptions. I’m just not in the mood to talk.”

You glared back, “What? You’re just not in the mood? It’s been a month, Jungkook. Aren’t we close friends or something?” It hurt, what he said. It was as if your friendship was nothing to him. As if all of your past interactions were just on his whim.

“Don’t think too much of yourself. The guys are my close friends.” He sneered.

You felt that stabbing feeling in your chest. So it was really all on a whim. You could feel tears in your eyes but you held them in. You would not cry in front of him. “So all those months meant nothing to you, huh? I thought we bonded or shit like Ms. Go said. I thought we had something.”

His lips thinned to a line, his next words cold and harsh. “We’re just research partners who have mutual friends. Probably friends at most. Nothing more.”

You could feel yourself numbing. A tear escaped your eye but everything else was going numb. You didn’t want to speak but you just had to say it before you turned around and never looked back.

“I tried, Jungkook. I tried.”

174 notes · View notes

auideas · 7 years

Text

Ask the Admins 10.0

@genosha-meiuqer: This is to Admin M -- Out of curiosity, do you drive anything like a War Boy?

M: Yes. That is actually a problem I have irl. I drive far too fast. Haven’t gotten pulled over yet though! (knock on wood)

Anon asked: Describe yourself in one adjective.

Chamomile: Talkative

M: Witty

Syren: Enthusiastic

Jynn: Resilient

Vox: Amiable

Anon asked: Do you have other sister blogs or affiliate blogs about writing? Or maybe you can rec us other writing blogs? Not that auideas is not awesome, loving this blog! Just, you know, want to follow other blog. Thanks! Loving your aus btw!

Chamomile: We have @nsfw-auideas, which has been inactive for a while since I became uncomfortable running it and the other admins sort of dropped of….but for blogs that inspire me, I always love @writing-prompt-s because they give me ideas for prompts with their prompts (if that makes sense, lmao) and also from fanfiction/fanart. I get //so// much inspiration from fanfiction/fanart.

M: Yeah we have our NSFW blog, but that’s pretty much it, and I don’t really have a lot of time at the moment to look at other blogs, so this is definitely one for the other admins to answer.

Syren: I second what Chamomile mentioned, and I also get a lot of inspiration from @inell who is a writing machine in the Sterek fandom. It's insane how many stories she churns out, and they often help me mindlessly brainstorm, if that makes any sense??

Jynn: I get a lot of inspiration from @otpprompts!

Vox: @otpprompts and @writing-prompt-s are two other really great prompt blogs! ( ≧▽≦)

Anon asked: curious about the new assistant admins. mind doing information pages for them like you did for the admins?

Chamomile: Here’s all of our pages: Chamomile // M // Syren // Jynn // Vox

Anon asked: When I'm grown, a martyr I will never be. I won't cry for you. I won't suffer for the things you do. I won't cry for you, see. Even though I understand you, Kankri.

Chamomile: this is a sin

M: get outta here

Syren: *Castiel voice* I don't understand that reference.

Jynn: I had to actually go back and find this song again for Chamomile so I just have to say how dare you make me relive that.

Vox: This ask has 6een marked as triggera6le and will 6e taken d9wn by Kankri Vantas. (ง •̀_•́)ง

Anon asked: So I know that this blog is SFW, but do you mind if I use your prompts in a NSFW story?

Chamomile: That’s totally fine! Whatever you do with our prompts is totally up to you.

M: ^^^^^

Anon asked: Have you decided what theme you'll be using? I remember a while back one of the admins asked what the followers think about the current theme.

Chamomile: Oh yeah, we got this solved a long while back. If anybody has a theme that they think is really nice and that we should try out, then send it to us!

Anon asked: What is your opinion on "Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life"?

Chamomile: get out

M: leeeeeeeave

Syren: I am daily surrounded by meme trash and could probably recite it perfectly if I tried. I am only slightly ashamed.

Jynn: I'll never forget it. That being said, I never want it in my presence ever again.

Vox: You scream, I scream, we all scream for Dank Memes™

Anon asked: I finally talked to my future college roommate. Accidentally ignore her email for a week tho... Not really off to a great start?

Chamomile: I can’t tell if this is a prompt or you telling us about your day but my advice would be to get her a card that’s like “I’m sorry I ignored your email for a week” and then some candy or whatever else she likes.

M: Lol man that did not happen with my current roommate - we actually sent each other our first introductory emails at the exact same moment even though I was across the country. Thankfully, we’ve clicked very well, but I would recommend not getting on their bad side right away, or that’ll make your year not so much fun.

Syren: Dude, I am the worst person at communicating possibly ever. I have lost friends because I forget to reply to them for months, no joke. I've found the best way to make it up is to be as sincere with your apology as possible. I've learned not to make excuses. Don't sweat it!

Jynn: I'm glad you reached out to your roommate, good job! I'd go with Chamomiles card and candy idea.

Vox: -looks at the messages I have in Line that are months old- -l a u g h s- Oh honey.

Anon asked: Do you (admins and assistants) know how to make gifs? Also, how do you pronounce "gifs"? "Jifs" or "gifs".

Chamomile: I have no clue on how to make a gif, and I pronounce it like “gift” without a “t”.

M: Gifs. Hard G. I will fight you on this.

Syren: I have no clue how to make a gif, though I've been thinking about learning (barely any gifs out there for When We Rise). Hard g.

Jynn: There are tons of gif makers online, I also have an app for that. I pronounce it “Gif” with a hard G

Vox: I LOVE making gifs!! They’re super fun. Also I use both alternatively.

Anon asked: how do the admins like the new assistants? And how do the assistants like the admins?

Chamomile: I think they’re pretty great! Everybody has been really good with getting their prompts in the drafts so admin m and I can approve them. No real problems.

M: Two thumbs up from me! I can now feel more stress about my school and social life than about this darn blog...

Syren: They're all generally fabulous people and make me feel welcomed. I'm the youngest of the bunch, but that doesn't change anything. Also, I have a habit for apologizing for everything, and they always assure me that it's all good and that they've all been there.

Jynn: Chamomile, Em, and I have actually all been friends for upwards of a couple years now, and I've contributed to the blog here and there before so it hasn't been super different for me tbh.

Vox: If I could put emojis into replies, this right here would just be a string of sparkles and hearts. Everyone’s been really nice!!

Anon asked: I haven't been on this site since forever and I just got back. Nice to see more prompts that I can add to my growing list of things I want to try writing :) (Also, "Runaway" and "So Sad, So Sad" are some of my favorite songs! :D )

Chamomile: Eeeeee! Thanks for loving the blog! Also I know right, I have some pretty good music taste if I do say so myself ;)

Anon asked: Knowing that someone else uses Japanese emoticons makes me really happy. ＼＼\ (۶ÒワÒ)۶//／／ Where do you get yours from, Vox? An app, website, or other?

Vox: Yaaaaa, kaomoji are super funnnnn!! ☆⌒(*＾-°)v I have a Japanese keyboard on my phone so I automatically have a bunch of them readily available.

Anon asked: Choose five of the blog's followers that you've talked to a fair amount and say what story genre you think they would be a character in, and if they would be a protag or antag.

Chamomile: Instead of choosing just five, I went with all of them. Here’s the link

M: I willllllll do this over break - expect a post on my admin blog!

Anon asked: If life was a standardized test, you would be "Answer B" because I always turn to you when I don't know what to do.

Chamomile:....that’s actually really sweet?

M: Omfg.

Syren: This would be really cute if the thought of standardized tests didn't throw me into a panic over upcoming midterms, SATs, and ACTs

Jynn: Awwwwww!

Vox: I’m in various stages of oh god and that’s so sweet and lol my name is actually Bee so this is kind of great, are you flirting with me anon, winkwink. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Anon asked: What do you call a flirty Greek? A Socratease

Chamomile: The King of flirty Greeks is Mithridatetease (Mithridates)

M: Get out.

Syren: As long as they don't have an Oedipus complex, they can tease all they want

Jynn: More like MithriDATEs

Vox: Has war flashbacks to Greek myth lectures. Sweats nervously.

@all-made-of-stardust asked: So I love your blog, and I especially love all your Never Book quotes. I was wondering - what's your policy on using those quotes? Can I directly use the whole quote? Should I change it a bit? Should I not use it at all? There's several quotes I have been thinking about using, and I just wanted to make sure I was doing it right.

Chamomile: hey there! This is a pretty popular question, but our policy is that you can change it however you want (adding in words, changing pronouns, etc.) but don’t repost it anywhere without crediting us. Cutting our parts is also totally fine. If you write something inspired by TNB, or has a TNB quote in it, make sure to shoot us a message and we’ll make sure to add it to the follower’s works page!

@ihaveatheoryabouttimetravel asked: What exactly is the never book?

Chamomile: Hey! I’m the creator of The Never Book (TNB) and here’s the long version of how/why I created it (link), but the short version is that TNB is supposed to be a collection of writing prompts to help inspire you to write. Some of them are very dramatic, while other ones are humorous, and other ones are meant to be cliffhangers that make you want to write what happens next. The name “The Never Book” is supposed to imply that all of these quotes come from a story that has never been written, meaning that they’re free game for prompts as well as to make stories out of.

Note: I’ve entertained the idea of trying to write a piece of fiction with a ton of TNB quotes crammed into it. Might try to get around to that if anybody is interested.

Anon asked: Is it okay to Writer's Block shame a friend who has an almost complete first chapter for 57 different fanfiction pieces???

Chamomile: #me

M: Shame us all

Syren: I'm too fragile to be bombarded like this

Jynn: I'm being called out.

Vox: First of all how dare, it’s only 56. (ง •̀_•́)ง

anon asked: tbh between chamomile and m i really thought that chamomile was younger. i have been surprised but not unpleasantly so

Chamomile: I’m definitely shorter and rounder than admin m, but I’m older by like, a year and a half? Something like that?

M: I am the alpha.

anon asked: assistant admins, what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?

Syren: Blue Moon (it's an upper Midwest thing I guess)

Jynn: Chocolate

Vox: Mint chocolate chip

#admin m #admin chamomile #admin syren #admin jynn #admin vox #ask the admins #ata #faq #this has been a public broadcast #long post

30 notes · View notes

ayz8yf9q-blog · 5 years

Text

Who is the best life insurance company?

I was wondering who the best life insurance company is? I currently have State Farm but was wondering if theres better out there other than them.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :car4insurance.xyz

SOURCES:

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