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ruinie · 1 year

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Do I Wanna Know?

Chapter One: I'm Asking You

Pairing: Shinichiro Sano x Fem!Akashi!Reader

Summary: You’ve been crushing on your brother’s best friend since the day you met him. Years later, you still find yourself unable to confess your feelings out of fear of rejection as well as not wanting to upset your brother. In hopes of freeing yourself from this decade-long crush, as well as gauging his interest without having to reveal the extent of your feelings, you decide to ask a favor of him before you go off to college.

Word Count: 14.4k

Content Warnings: friends with benefits dynamic, brother's best friend trope, brief mentions of alcohol, sexual content, teaching, light dry humping, this chapter is actually pretty mild but this series will contain explicit smut, 18+ minors do not interact!

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Some things in life are supposedly fated.

When you were younger, your grandmother would often tell you bedtime stories to lull you to sleep at night. The stories she told weren’t ones that she read from children’s books, rather she preferred to make up her own stories to narrate to you. Her favorite to tell was the one about Big Fates and Little Fates.

The two fates are siblings, she had explained. Big Fates was the older brother, a major event that is set in stone from the moment someone is born, and Little Fates was his younger sister, following after him. Little Fates loved her older brother, and she exists to push people in the right direction and guide them to her big brother to help him. Big Fates can’t exist without Little Fates, and Little Fates will become lost without her brother. The two siblings rely on each other in order to exist, and they grow stronger together.

You never really understood the meaning of that story, but your grandma assured you that one day, perhaps when you were a little older, it would reveal itself to you. At the time, you tended to shrug off things you didn’t understand and accept what you were told as fact. Like many caught up in the path of the siblings of fate, you were completely unaware of the day that Little Fates took your hand.

You were sitting at the coffee table in your grandmother’s living room, doodling on a piece of paper with the doll your father bought you at your side when your brother raced past you and into the kitchen with your grandma. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but when he exited the kitchen, he clearly told your grandmother that he was leaving.

“Where are you going?” You asked, setting your crayons down, your brother now having your full attention.

He stopped at your voice, shooting a narrowed glance in your direction, shortly replying, “To the park.”

You gasped excitedly at his declaration, beginning to push yourself from the wooden floor. He grimaced, already anticipating the question that was about to leave your mouth, “Can I g—”

“No,” He stated bluntly, cutting off your request before you could fully get it out. This was a recurring back-and-forth between the two of you.

“You didn’t let me fin—”

“You can’t come with me.”

Your mouth gaped at his words, taking a step back before a childlike pout took over your features, “Why not?”

“Because.” He shot back, turning away from you dismissively, but you weren’t about to let him get away quite yet. Not without giving you a proper answer, at least.

You followed after him as he made his way towards the front door, continuing your line of questioning, “Because why?”

“Because,” He addressed pointedly, halting again and taking a deep breath before facing you, “I’m going to hang out with a friend, and I don’t want you to bother us.”

“I won’t bother you, I swear!” You promised, leaning forward on your toes, hoping to present yourself as sincere. You meant it! If he just let you tag along, you wouldn't bug him or his friend. You’d occupy yourself while they ran around, and you wouldn’t even look at them if that’s what he wanted.

“I already told you, no. Now stop asking.” He moved to turn away from you again, but you shot ahead of him, blocking his path and causing him to curse under his breath.

“Please, Take-nii!” You pleaded, giving him the best pair of puppy dog eyes you could muster, “I don’t wanna stay behind at grandma’s all the time. I wanna go to the park sometimes, too!”

“[Name]—”

You clasped your hands under your chin as you kneeled in front of your older brother, who scowled down at you. “I’ll leave the two of you alone, I promise! Please? Pretty please, Take-nii? You won’t even know that I’m there!”

“C’mon, [Name], stop begging like a spoiled brat. Today’s not a good day. Maybe next time, ok?” He offered, clicking his tongue when he saw your expression deflate. “I’ll bring you next week. That sound good? Now get off the floor.”

He extended his hand to you and you took it with a pout, allowing him to pull you to your feet. Takeomi always said stuff like “Maybe next time” and “I’ll do it next week” but it never happened. Deep down in your young heart, you knew he was just saying those things to pacify you, but that naive part of you still hoped that next week would come and he’d fulfill his promise. So, like always, you planned to nod and agree.

“Takeomi, you’re still here?” Your grandmother questioned from the doorway to the kitchen, “That’s good, I need you to watch your sister for a little while. I’ve got to go grocery shopping or else you youngsters might be without dinner tonight. Can you do that for me?”

For a split second, Takeomi’s brows pinched together, but his expression relaxed before he responded, “I promised my friend that I would be at the park for noon. I can’t be late. Can’t she go shopping with you?”

“I know Omi, I wasn’t saying you couldn’t go to the park. Why don’t you take [Name] with you? That would probably be more fun for her than shopping with me.” Your face lit up at your grandmother’s words, and she sent you a kind smile and a knowing wink.

His lips tightened into a forced smile, offering your grandmother a weak nod, “You’re right, grandma. I’ll keep an eye on her.”

Your eyes were practically sparkling, and you felt a lightness overtake you at his acceptance, oblivious to the seemingly forced nature of it all. No, it didn’t matter at all as long as your older brother was going to let you accompany him to the park. You should change into something easier to move in!

“’m gonna go get dressed to go play. Thank you, grandma!” You hugged the woman’s leg, causing her to stumble back a bit, but she chuckled lightly as she watched you run off. She still had a lot of energy for her age; she was still young for a grandmother after all, but how she was envious of yours at times. She turned back to your brother once you were down the hall.

“Thank you, Takeomi. Such a good older brother.” Your grandmother mused as she reached out to place her hand on his head, “I know sometimes you wanna go off on your own, but you should make time for her as well. Look how excited she is. As the oldest, it’s your responsibility to watch over and guide your younger sister.”

Takeomi did not say anything back for a few seconds, opting to look past his grandma instead. He swallowed, offering another tight smile and tense nod, responding with a low, “Yes, ma’am. I understand.”

You sound of your feet thudding against the floor could be heard as you came bounding out of your room. Out of that cute floral dress your grandmother had dressed you in this morning and into some shorts and a t-shirt, ready to fight the summer heat and the rock wall at the playground.

“Be careful now, you two.” Your grandma addressed the two of you as she grabbed her purse and keys, sending a final smile both of your ways before walking out the front door.

Both you and your brother watched as the door closed, neither of you moving or saying anything to the other. You were the one who broke the stalemate, turning to your brother with a wide, innocent smile, which was met with a click of the tongue.

“Damn it…” He mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose before letting out a defeated sigh, “Well, get your shoes on, hurry up.”

The two of you began making your way toward the park, Takeomi holding your hand and escorting you through the one crosswalk on the way so you wouldn’t get left behind. The park wasn’t particularly far from where you lived, but he didn’t want to lose track of you.

“I’ll introduce you to Shin when we get there, but after that, you go play and leave us alone. Understand?” He questioned, looking down at you to read your expression.

You nodded eagerly, beaming up at him, “Mhm, okay, I promise!”

“Why’re you grinning like that? You look weird.” He teased, chuckling despite himself. If it was his responsibility as an older brother to look after you, it was also his responsibility to poke at you from time to time as well.

“Because,” you started excitedly, smile not faltering despite his remark, “Take-nii is letting me come with him today. It makes me happy!”

His eyes widened at your admission, looking away from you so that you wouldn’t see how his expression softened a bit. He guessed that your grandma was right. This did mean more to you than he initially thought. Sure, he found you annoying at times, but it was just because you were a year younger. You wanted to follow your older brother because you admired him. He understood that, at least.

“Yeah, well, I guess it’s not so bad every now and then.”

You tilt your head at his words, lips parted slightly before breaking out into a grin once again, humming in agreement as your arms swing at your sides. When you were slightly younger, Takeomi would play with you, but once he started elementary school, he started telling you to go play with other girls whenever you tried to join him. At home, there were still times when he would play with you, especially when boredom hit the two of you at the same time, but he often preferred to go out and play with his own friends now and leave you behind, so this was a huge victory for you!

Before you knew it, you could see the outline of the little wooden tower and the top of the jungle gym in the distance, and from there it didn’t take more than a minute for the two of you to arrive at your destination.

“Oh, he’s here already,” Takeomi mumbled, causing you to look over in the direction he was looking. You could see a boy about your brother’s age, maybe a little older, drinking at one of the water fountains. Your brother raised his hand over his head, waving towards his friend and calling out to him, “Oi, Shin, over here!”

Takeomi’s shout made you jump a little bit, eyes widening as the boy turned to look in your direction. You shrunk behind your brother. While you’d been excited to accompany him, you suddenly felt anxious at the idea of meeting a new person today. Your brother never let you play with his friends, so you were a little nervous to finally meet one. You visibly stiffened behind Takeomi when he began jogging over to the two of you.

“Takeomi, I just got here. Glad I didn’t have to wait long!” The older boy grinned, stopping in front of your brother, the two sharing a high five. His eyes shifted in your direction, pausing when he saw your figure shuffling behind his friend. His brow raised slightly as his grin softened to an inquisitive smile, “Huh? Who’s this?”

You blinked at the boy, looking up at your brother, unsure of what to do in his presence. Takeomi sighed, “This is my younger sister. My grandma needed to go shopping, so she tagged along today.” At that, your brother nudged you in front of him, urging you to introduce yourself.

You sent a final glance towards your brother before turning to face his friend. Nervously, your gaze hit his feet, mumbling your name too quietly for either boy to hear. His friend chuckled lightly as Takeomi nudged you again with his foot, causing you to look back up at the boy and meet his dark eyes for a split second. You swallowed, trying to stand a bit taller as you willed your voice to be a little louder, “…I’m [Name] Akashi.”

“So you’re Takeomi’s little sister? Nice to meet you, I’m Shinichrio Sano!” The older boy grinned, holding out his hand towards you for you to shake. Once again unsure of what to do, you looked to your brother, who nodded his head towards Shin’s hand. You hesitantly grabbed hold of it with your own, nodding at the boy in acknowledgment as his hand softly enveloped yours in a gentle shake. His hand was warm, and a lot bigger than your own, you couldn’t help but note before he let go.

You remembered your brother’s words after leaving your grandmother’s house. You promised to leave him alone after meeting Shinichiro. You slowly turned away from the boy and back towards Takeomi who raised his brow at your expression. He never understood how you could go from bouncing around to acting so bashful so quickly.

“I’m gonna go play on the slides…” You informed your brother, running off before receiving a response from him.

“Stay where I can see you, alright?” Takeomi called after you, sighing when you didn’t even bother to shout back a reply, “…little brat.”

Shinichiro chuckled, shaking his head a bit, “She’s shy, huh? How cute.”

“She’s a little terror.” Your brother shot back, rolling his eyes before lightly slapping Shin’s shoulder, “Anyway, c’mon, let’s go play on the jungle gym.”

You ignored the presence of the two older boys as you continuously climbed up the slides and slid down, rotating between the two different ones that the small playground offered. One was a straight shot down, while the other one spiraled. You preferred the swirly one, personally. Still, it got repetitive after a while.

After growing bored of the slides, you eventually found yourself in the sandbox instead. You gathered as much sand in front of you as you could, creating a pretty sizeable pile, and patting it at different angles in an attempt to give it the shape you wanted. You wondered if it would be easier to shape if you had some water, debating if you should run to the water fountain to collect some.

“Holy crap, that was awesome!”

You jumped, head shooting up in the direction of your brother’s voice. The two boys were playing on the merry-go-round, and it was apparent to you by the speed that it was rotating and the fact that your brother was dusting away at the dirt on his clothes that they managed to make it go so fast that they were both flung off. They were both laughing… it looked fun.

You wished you could play with them, but you promised your older brother that you would leave him and his friend alone. Even if it was only because your grandma had to go grocery shopping, you didn’t want to upset your brother. If you were good, he might let you hang out with him more often. That’s what you hoped, at least, as you stared in their direction.

Shinichiro looked behind him as though he could feel a pair of eyes watching them, and as he thought, he caught your gaze. Your eyes widened as they met his, snapping your attention back down at your little pile of sand. To distract yourself from your nerves, you began to carve at the pile with your fingers, attempting to give it a brick-like appearance. A shadow fell over you as you worked in the finishing touches.

“What are you doing?” You looked up to see your brother’s friend staring down at you with a friendly smile, one hand behind his back.

You blinked, eyes falling back towards the sculpted pile of sand in front of you and then to the side. Your reply comes out low, but loud enough for him to hear, “…Building a sandcastle.”

“Yeah?” He squats down across from you, studying your work before sending you a grin, “Looks good! You really worked hard on this, huh? Hmm, but I think it’s missing one thing.”

“Huh?” You tilt your head curiously at his words and the boy nods earnestly, though there was a playful air about him.

He withdrew the hand that was hiding his back to reveal a large, fully intact leaf with a long stem. Carefully, he placed stuck the stem of the leaf into the sand at the top of your castle, and once it was safely in place, he proudly smiled at you, “Ta-da! A flag, see?”

Your reaction was a bit delayed, lips parted and slowly blinking at his display before a mousy, yet delighted smile crept its way onto your face, a light laugh leaving you. Shinichiro seemed pleased with your reaction, relieved that he was able to get a smile out of you, as nervous as it was. You were Takeomi’s sister, after all, so he wanted you to feel comfortable around him.

“So, now that your castle’s all finished, whaddya wanna do? Anything you wanted to play on?” He asked, noting how you looked a bit surprised before your face scrunched up in thought.

Your eyes still fell to the ground, fidgeting a bit with your fingers as you bit the side of your cheek. It was strange to you how your mind went blank, how your chest fluttered with excitement at the simple question. Usually, you just followed after whatever your brother wanted to do on the few, rare occasions he let you go with him somewhere. You were just fine with that arrangement; you always have been. Even so, you bubbled at the idea of choosing what to do next. You swallowed as you willed yourself to meet his eyes and hesitantly replied, “The swings… maybe.”

“Yeah, the swings are fun, right?” The boy’s kind smile never seemed to leave his face, nodding at your reply, “Good choice.”

Your brother’s voice rang out again, and looking past Shinichiro, you could see him jogging up to his friend, stopping to catch his breath for a second, “Is something the matter?”

“Nope. Just chatting with [Name]-chan.” Shinichiro shook his head, standing up from his crouched position. He turned to face your brother, suggesting, “Takeomi, let’s go swing for a bit”

“Huh? Okay.” Takeomi agreed without any pushback, “Let’s go!”

You watched as your brother took off in the direction of the swings, stiffening up when Shinichiro held out his hand to you. Again, he offered you a smile as he chimed, “You come too.”

You looked from his hand to his face, tentatively letting him take hold of your smaller hand, helping you to your feet. He released your hand once you were up, and you carefully hopped over your castle as you follow after him and your brother to the swings. Shin took the swing to the right of Takeomi, leaving either the swing to your brother’s left or the one next to him. You plopped down on the one next to your brother, kicking back off the ground and letting the swing take you forward.

The wind was refreshing against your face as you kicked your feet back and forth, listening to the conversation tossed between your brother and his friend. They were both trying to see who could go higher. They both had you beat pretty easily; both were older than you after all. Still, you tried your best to silently compete with them.

“What’s with that face?” Your brother called out to you suddenly, noticing your mixed expression as you watched them. It was amusing how your brows pinched in concentration, yet you were still seemingly cheerful.

“I wish I could swing as high as you, Take-nii!” You answered with a childish giggle, causing a sense of pride to swell in your brother’s chest. You dug your feet into the ground, thinking maybe if you kicked off stronger, you just might be able to go higher.

“Do you want someone to push you?” Shin offered, leaning forward on the swing to look over at you. Your face lit up and nodded without thinking, wanting to reach the same heights as them..

Shinichiro waited until the right moment before jumping from his swing, landing on his feet just before where the boxed-in woodchips ended.

“Whoa!” Both you and Takeomi gasped out at the same time, mouths wide at how far he’d managed to leap. Shinichiro turned towards the two of you with a spirited laugh, making his way back over to you.

“Alright, [Name]-chan, I’ll push you.” Shin stated as he moved behind you. You jolted when he grabbed the bottom of the chain to your swing, looking up at him, “Hold on to the chain tightly, ok?”

You nodded, relaxing as he pulled you back before sending you forward with a light push. His hands would gently meet your lower back with each swing back until eventually, you were reaching the same height as your brother next to you. Quiet giggles bubbled out of you, and after a few moments, Shinichiro stepped to the side.

“Keep moving your legs back and forth with the same force, and you’ll be able to keep this momentum going.” Shin coached, and you quickly nodded, listening to his instruction.

A minute passed and you were able to keep the same height without Shinichiro pushing you. It was your turn to feel a sense of pride wash over you as even Takeomi praised, “Way to go, [Name].”

After commending you, your brother hopped off of his swing, achieving a steady landing a few feet away. You let out a little gasp, grinning at the display.

When it came to your older brother, you were always impressionable. If he did something, you wanted to do it too. That’s just how it was. Without much thought to it, on your next swing forward, you let go of the chains, springing off the swing and into the air.

“Whoa, [Name]-chan—” Shin attempted to call out to you before you left your swing but was too late. You were swinging way too high for you to just jump like that!

Your stomach cut a tiny flip when you first kicked off, but the feeling was quickly replaced by excitement. If you’d thought the air felt nice while you were swinging, something about flying through it was even better, even if it was only for a brief few seconds. You braced yourself for the impact of the landing as you got closer to the ground, a small amount of pain shooting up your ankle once you touched down. You stumbled forward slightly, but managed to stick the landing, only half a foot behind your brother.

Takeomi turned to look at you, blinking before the corners of his lips twitched up, “Heh, not bad, [Na—”

“Holy crap!” You exclaimed, bouncing up on the tips of your toes in excitement. You beamed up toward your brother, accidentally interrupting the praise you’d been secretly hoping for. That was awesome! You weren’t sure if you’d actually be able to do it, but you did! How cool was that?!

“Hey, don’t say that!” Takeomi was quick to scold you, eyes widening at your exclamation.

“Huh?” You turn to him, quickly trading out your smile for a small pout, “But you say it all the time.”

“It’s different if I say it! Dad and Grandma’ll be on my butt if they hear you cursing.” He explained rather matter-of-factly, crossing his arms.

You tilted your head at his words but shrugged it off. You didn’t get it, but if Takeomi said it was bad, then it was bad. You nodded at your brother, bowing your head slightly, “Okay, I’m sorry, Take-nii.”

“It’s whatever, just don’t say it again.” He sighed, his hand finding the top of your head in order to ruffle your hair up. You puffed your cheeks out in protest, bringing your hands up to swat his away, but before you could say anything, Shinichiro was next to your brother, laughing at your sibling antics.

“That was impressive, [Name]-chan. Had me worried for a second there, though.” He laughed, and your chest puffed out with pride once again, forgetting all about your brother’s scolding.

“I’m gonna go to the water fountain, I’m getting thirsty,” Takeomi mentioned, motioning over to the fountains.

Shinichiro nodded, “Me too, I’ll go with you.” He sent a small wave your way as the two of them began walking in that direction.

You weren’t really thirsty, and a small bout of guilt began poking at you for playing with your brother’s friend after promising not to. Even though Takeomi seemed alright with it since it was Shinichiro’s suggestion, it still felt like you were breaking your promise. You nodded to yourself, you’ll leave them alone now. Still, it was fun playing with Shinichiro. He was really nice...

You look around, scanning the playground for something that you could play on by yourself. The multicolored tri-level bars caught your attention. Climbing was something you enjoyed a lot, but you were weary of the jungle gym after hurting your wrist sometime last year in a fall.

The memory of Takeomi trying his best to comfort you and get you to stop crying was still fresh in your mind. Despite the pain, that day became a fond memory for you, though you kept that a little secret just for yourself to know. He’d been so worried about you. As you made your way over to the bars, you decided maybe practicing more would prevent slip-ups like what occurred that day. Even if you had enjoyed your brother’s attention, you didn’t want to worry him like that again.

The first bar came up to your forehead. You studied the bars, trying to strategize how you would get from the small one to the tallest. It would be difficult to try to pull yourself up with your arms since you lacked the upper body strength required to do so. If you hooked you legs over the smallest one, you may be able to climb up the bars like a sloth.

You jumped on the smallest bar, and just like you thought, it was easier to rely on your legs to keep you up. You climbed from the first bar to the next, slowly making your way to the tallest one. It was a bit harder to pull yourself over the second, almost losing your grip in the transition from the first to the second, but you repeated your actions until you were hanging from your knees at the tallest bar. You allowed yourself to look at the world upside down for a while as a reward to yourself for your success.

Now that you’ve accomplished yet another amazing feat, you wondered what you should take on next. The monkey bars maybe? Sometimes, if you swung hard enough, you could skip a bar. Or maybe the tower next to the bumblebee spring rider. No, it was obvious what you should play on next. The rock climb wall, of course! Then, maybe you’d be ready to try the jungle gym again…

So caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t hear the crunch of the woodchips behind you, unaware of anyone’s presence until Shinichiro popped out right in front of you. Being upside down put you at eye level with the dark-haired boy. His face was only a few inches from yours. He opened his mouth to greet you, but before he could even get the words out, he was cut off by a startled yelp.

You instinctively pulled back, trying to distance yourself from the sudden and unexpected closeness, but it only caused you to swing back forward on the bar, bashing your forehead into his. The collision made Shinichiro stumble back, one hand coming up to cover the bump and the other moving to lessen his fall as he landed on the ground. You mirrored his movement, both hands rising to your forehead on reflex. This, paired with the force of the contact resulted in you losing your hold on the bar and plunging to the ground.

Luckily, you managed to twist yourself in the air, avoiding falling on your head. Your arms instinctively thrust out in front of you to break your fall as you fell on your stomach. A weak groan left you as you pushed yourself up into a sitting position. Tears began to sting your eyes as they welled up from the initial blow, but you held them back. You wouldn’t cry and make your brother worry! Especially not in front of his friend! You didn’t want to trouble either of them… but it hurt…

“Are you okay?” Shinichiro winced slightly as he stood up, quickly making his way over to you. Before you could answer, he was crouched down in front of you. He reached out to brush your hair out of your face and out of the way, inspecting your forhead closely. A worried frown appeared on his face, “A knot’s forming…”

You swallowed against the lump forming in your throat. You tried to focus on something else, your eyes scanning his face before stopping on his own forehead. Though his bangs covered most of the area, you could see a similar lump forming on the top right of his forehead. You pointed at the bump, remarking, “You’ve got one, too.”

Shin blinked, hand moving from your head to his own, gently feeling the area before breaking out into a grin. He let out a light laugh, causing you to look up at him curiously. What was so funny?

“We match then!” His eyes met your once again, Shinichiro holding out his hand to you.

The knot didn’t hurt at all anymore.

Your lips parted as you looked up at the older boy. Suddenly, the brightest smile broke out on your face as you took his hand, “Yeah…!”

Shinichiro helped you up as your brother’s voice could be heard calling out to you, asking if you were both okay.

That day was surely the beginning of the end for you.

—–

It seemed so long ago now.

Beep-beep. Beep.

The notification tone shook you out of your thoughts, causing you to look over to the phone at the edge of your bed. You huffed out a quiet laugh at yourself.

You weren’t sure why you were thinking about that all of the sudden. Maybe the fact that your first semester of college was fast approaching was starting to mess with you more than you thought it would. Now here you were, sitting in bed as you listened to music on your MP3 player and yearning for the good ol’ days when your biggest concern was annoying your brother into letting you tag along with him someplace.

Or maybe you were fondly reminiscing the day any chance of you having a normal romantic life died.

You grabbed your phone, taking it off the charger and flipping it open to check your notifications, seeing you had a new message. It was from your friend, Natsumi. You’d become good friends with her in high school. While you took a gap year before applying to colleges, she started immediately and got accepted in a good university about an hour away. You clicked on her message, opening it up.

Natsumi: there’s gonna be a party at my dormmate’s boyfriend’s place. said I could bring a friend :)

Natsumi: i know takeomi probs won’t bring you, but i can split the cost of a cab with you, and you can crash at my dorm room!

Natusmi: since you’re starting college soon, you should use this as a chance to get some experience ;)

You let a small puff of air escape your nose in a laugh. The first and last time you went to a party with Natsumi was a year ago, and it ended with her disappearing with her boyfriend and you getting into an argument with a touchy guy. The night ended in disaster. You eneded up calling Wakasa to come pick you up, and you had to bribe him with some alcohol you stole not to tell your brother that you’d snuck out that night. You weren’t fond of parties at all, especially ones where you only knew one person there. Not to mention reading the word “experience” made you physically cringe.

[Name]: no thanks, i’m not really feeling it tonight.

Natsumi: boo you never feel it :(

Natsumi: don’t tell me you’re still hung up on your brother’s friend :,)

[Name]: i’m not hung up on anything >:c

Natsumi: of course not. but don’t blame me if you’re lacking experience a couple of months from now :p

[Name]: yeah, yeah whatever you say, natsu. Be careful tonight

With that, you snapped your phone closed, tossing it back where you found it. Was it really that strange for someone your age to have never dated anyone before? Your friends poked fun at you occasionally, but you never thought much of it. If you were gonna do anything with anybody, it wasn’t gonna be some random guy at a party. There was nothing wrong with it, it just wasn’t for you.

Besides, you weren’t gonna live the dorm life anyway. You were more of a homebody and chose a college that was closer to where you lived, so whenever you had classes, you could take the metro there and head right back home whenever they were done. No need to go to parties. It had nothing to do with your brother’s friend…

You sighed, of course, it did, and you knew it. Didn’t mean you had to admit it to anyone else, though.

Shinichiro Sano. You’ve had a crush on your brother’s best friend for as long as you could remember now, since before you even knew what a crush was, you think. There were times when he would even jokingly ask if you were falling for him when he helped you out with something, not even aware of just how right he was. Just how many times have the words “sorry, I like someone else” left your lips, knowing that you lacked the courage to confess like the person you were rejecting? Even now, you were hiding in your room while he and your brother were visiting in the living room. It was infuriating. You could just scream into your pillow when you thought about it.

You’d come a long way from that shy girl on the playground, but knowing that Shinichiro would probably never see you as more than your brother’s sister was discouraging, to say the least. As was hearing his multiple failed confession stories throughout the years. You hated sitting there while Wakasa and Takeomi picked on him, meanwhile all you could do was wonder what you had to do to be on the receiving end of one of those confessions… and then eventually coming to the conclusion that you never would be. It didn’t matter if you tried dressing more like the tenth girl or acting more like the twentieth when all you were was Takeomi’s little sister.

Many times, you’d considered confessing your feelings, if just to rip the bandaid off, so to say. If you confessed to Shinichiro, you would know if your suspicions of just being Takeomi’s sister were correct, and if he rejected you, you could cry it out and be able to move forward. But… rejection terrified you. That’s what held you back for so long.

Lately, a certain idea has been swirling around in your head, and Natsumi’s comment only reminded you of it. At first, you dismissed it entirely; a product of allowing your mind to wander a little too far, you figured. But maybe… maybe it really was your best bet. A way to gauge his interest without having to put all your cards on the table. You could offer him at least a part of yourself; it was a chance to present your own interest casually, so that you can easily back out if he doesn’t feel the same way, without ruining what friendship you did have. But it was so not like you to talk about something like that… but then again, you weren’t a kid anymore. You couldn’t just do nothing forever.

You groaned. Thinking about it just made your head and your feelings hurt.

That’s it! You were gonna do it. Next time you were presented the chance, you’d ask him! And if he showed no interest, you’d put this childhood crush to rest. That’s what you’ve decided. Now it was just to summon the courage to actually do it.

You took your earbuds out, pausing your music before wrapping the cord around the player and placing it on your nightstand. Smoothing down your hair and clothes, you decided to make your presence in the house known, quietly emerging from your room. Seeing him sitting on the couch, back facing you as you reached the end of the hall made it feel like the air was fizzling out of your chest.

Shinichiro and your brother were sitting on the L-shaped couch in the living room, your brother sitting at the end of the smaller portion while Shin was sitting across from the coffee table and television. As if he sensed your presence, Shin turned his head to the side, tilting it back slightly to greet you as he showed you the same kind smile as when he was younger, “Hey, [Name].”

“Shin, hey,” You returned the greeting, giving an easygoing wave as you made your way to the kitchen.

Over the years of both your and your brother’s friendship with Shinichiro, you’ve learned to hide the nervousness that sometimes worked its way into your system when you were in his presence. If you didn’t, life would’ve been much more awkward for you than it already was, you’re sure. It was fine when you were a kid, but as you got older, you knew shyness wouldn’t cut it. So even if the source of your yearning and anguish throughout your teenage years was sitting right in front of you, sending you the same smile that tormented your thoughts for years, you could still play it cool.

“You’re not gonna be able to sleep all day when your classes start, y’know.” Your brother’s voice brought you out of your thoughts, and you glanced toward him, huffing out a sarcastic laugh.

“I wasn’t sleeping, you old fart.” You tossed back lightheartedly as you continued to the refrigerator, bending over to grab a soda and then hesitantly grabbing a second.

“The hell, you brat?” Your brother lightly huffed back when you re-entered the living room area.

“Now, [Name], if Takeomi’s an old fart, what does that make me?” Shin asked, eyes on you as you approached where they were sitting.

You hummed in thought, placing one of the soda cans on the table in front of Shinichiro, plopping down on the couch a few inches away from him. A mischievous smile was on your face as you turned your head to him, “An older fart, I guess?”

“Ha, I see how it is.” Shin placed a hand over his chest in mock hurt, “And here I thought I was your favorite.”

You could feel your heartbeat start to pick up in your chest at the slightest bit of picking, but you fought against the feeling that came with it, laughing lightly as you deflected to your brother, “Well, Take-nii already looks and acts like he’s graying, so I guess you’re younger in those regards, Shin.”

“Don’t treat me like an old man just because I’m a little older than you, [Name]. You’re only a year younger than me.” Takeomi blankly nagged, and you pursed your lips half-heartedly.

“You still act like an old man, though.”

“And you still act like a bratty little kid.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

You both scowled at each other, turning away at the same time, letting out a dispassionate, “Whatever.” All the while, Shinichiro sat and watched the back-and-forth between you and your brother in amusement.

Takeomi got on your nerves someti... most of th— fairly often, he would find some way to annoy you, but lighthearted squabbles like this were secretly enjoyable for the two of you. With the age gap between both of you and your younger siblings, it often felt more like you were parental figures to them rather than older siblings. Being the oldest, you knew Takeomi felt that way more than you, though he never outwardly admitted it. It only annoyed you when he tried to act like he was your father figure too, despite only being a year older. But in moments like this, you got to be siblings. He never got to feel that way with Haruchiyo or Senju.

“If you weren’t napping, what were you doing?” Takeomi suddenly asked, taking a sip of what he was drinking and leaning back in his spot, ankle crossed over his knee.

“I was reading for a while, then I just listened to music.” You shrugged, debating whether you should tell him the last bit, but you were curious about one thing, so you added, “Natsumi invited me to a party, though. It’s at some guy she knows house.”

Takeomi’s eyes narrowed slightly at the words; he’d never been particularly good at hiding the fact that he wasn’t too fond of some of your friends, but you weren’t especially focused on Takeomi’s reaction. You sneaked a glance at Shinichiro, wondering if he would have any reaction at all to the that of you going to a college party, where there would no doubt be multiple guys your age. His expression didn’t appear to change at all as he looked over at you, except, maybe you were imagining it, the slight raising of a brow.

“Ya plannin’ on goin’?” Takeomi asked somewhat pointedly, gaining your full attention. The illusion of choice. If you said yes, he’d likely begrudgingly let you since you were an adult but be passive-aggressive about it for the next few days. That would be after trying to talk you out of it until it was time to go pick up your younger siblings.

You shook your head, waving your hand dismissively, “Nah, I’m not really interested. Not like I’d know anyone anyway. Plus, Haru and Senju’ll probably have homework when they get here.”

“Oh, alright,” Takeomi replied casually, but he visibly relaxed at your answer, “It’s probably for the best. You shouldn’t be going to just any party. It’s not safe for a girl your age, kiddo.”

“Only a year younger” when you poked at his age, but “kid sister’ whenever it involved anything else. You opened your mouth to make a comment about his last sentence but decided against it. Instead, you leaned back into the couch, scoffing quietly to yourself before cracking open your soda and taking a few sips. You’d let it go just this once. You knew, in this instance, his worry was well-meant at least. Parties were more dangerous for girls, so he wasn’t wrong. But still… having to get his permission to go out annoyed you.

“So, [Name],” Shin started, leaning forward a bit to grab the can of soda you’d brought him. He likely sensed the potential tension building in the room and wanted to dispel it, “You’re starting college soon. Does that mean you’re gonna be moving into the dorms?”

Takeomi had mentioned to his friends that you were going to college and that your classes were soon, but he didn’t really give much information other than that. You lightly tapped at the can in your hand, turning to face Shin as you explained, “I got accepted into a local one, so it’s just a short ride there and back. No need to pay extra for a dorm, so I’ll still be here.”

“Well, that’s good. Congratulations!” He grinned, reaching out to place his hand on your head, giving it a gentle pat.

Your breath hitched and your mind blanked for a split second before immediately going into overdrive. It wasn’t the first time Shin patted your head, but it never failed to make your cheeks feel warm and your heart race in your chest. Not to mention the implication that he might be glad that you’re staying home instead of moving further away… though you may be looking too much into it. Were you? You probably were. You shoved your scattered thought to the back of your mind, not wanting to appear as affected as you were.

You chuckled, looking off to the side, “Thanks, but they’ll accept pretty much anyone who didn’t flunk out.”

“She’s being overly modest.” Takeomi spoke, pointing at you with his pinky, the rest of his fingers holding his drink, “Her scores were among the highest in her grade. I pushed her to study. She could’ve gone to any university she wanted to, she just wanted the one closest to home.”

“No need to brag on me, Take-nii. I think you’re giving both of us a little too much credit.” You stated dismissively, placing your own drink on the coffee table.

Though, there was truth to his words. Your brother did push hard for you to study despite the fact that his grades were average. In middle school, you made great grades, and though you struggled with one or two subjects, you managed to cram enough before exams to do well. Your grandma always praised you for your grades, your father too busy to even look at them, and soon enough your brother started praising you too. He pushed for you to do even better starting high school, and even though you’d grown more independent from when you both were younger, you still seeked your older brother’s approval. There were several nights you found yourself studying more than you slept. That doesn’t mean he needs to go telling everyone about it.

“Takeomi’s right, [Name], you should be proud of yourself. College is a huge achievement!” Shin chimed in making you shrink a little more in your seat.

“I guess it’s just still sinking in,” You rubbed the side of your neck, not able to make eye contact with the older boy. Not one to stay comfortable being the center of attention, you directed a question toward him, “How’re things at S.S Motor?”

“Everything’s goin’ fine. You should stop by more often.” Shin stated before sending a teasing grin your way, “I know more than a few former Black Dragons who wouldn’t mind seeing you.”

You winced slightly, shaking your head. “Yeah, well, I don’t know about the last part, but I’ll make an effort anyway,” You promised, causing Shinichiro to let out a small laugh at your reaction.

“It’s almost time to go pick up Haruchiyo and Senju,” Takeomi cut in, glancing over at you, “Who’s turn is it again?”

“Yours. But I can go if you want. You’ve got Shin over, after all.” You offered, watching as his brows furrowed slightly in thought, probably making sure you weren’t lying to him despite your offer.

With your father still as busy as he was in your childhood, your grandmother watched after Haruchiyo and Senju just like she had the two of you. Of course, when you lived with her, you and Takeomi helped out, but you moved in with your older brother once you graduated high school. Your grandmother was getting older and young kids could be a handful, so even though they went to your grandmother’s house after school, some days out of the week you or Takeomi would pick them up to give your grandmother some rest.

“You went the last couple of times if I’m remembering correctly.” Takeomi eventually stated, “You’re being nice because Shin’s here, but you’ll complain later, right? Guess it can’t be helped. I’ll go.” He stood from the couch with a groan, stretching slightly.

“You’re making me sound mean. When have I ever complained about picking Haru and Senju up? I only complain about taking out the trash when it’s your turn, you jerk.” You argued, mocking offended by his accusation. One time, you complained about going because you weren’t feeling well and he never let you live it down. Unbelievabl…y believable.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, [Name].” He goaded, reaching out to ruffle your hair as he passed you, though you managed to swat his hand away. Unaffected, he turned to address Shinichiro, “So, Shin, what are you gonna do?”

Shin hummed in thought before replying, “I’ll stay here and chat with [Name] a bit.”

You blinked, turning to glance at him. Sure, you were just talking, but he wanted to keep talking with you even though your brother was leaving? It wasn’t like you’d never spoken with Shinichiro alone or anything like that; you were friends, after all, still… it just surprised you a bit, is all.

“Alright, well I’d say it shouldn’t take long, but that depends on how talkative grandma feels today.” Takeomi joked as he slipped on his shoes, but you knew it to be the truth. What should normally be a twenty-minute journey could easily turn into an hour if your grandmother was feeling sociable, and she often was. “Well then, I’m off. [Name], don’t bother Shin too much.” Takeomi told you, and you opened your mouth to respond, but he was already out the door.

“You two are at each other’s throats today, huh?” Shin chuckled, turning to you after the door was shut.

“Ha, nothing new,” You mirrored his quiet laughter, waving the statement off dismissively, “It’s never anything serious. Just picking… most of the time, at least.”

Shin nodded in understanding. He’s been in your life for around fourteen years now, so he was more than familiar with how you and Takeomi interacted and how your relationship with your brother has evolved over the years. Silence fell over the two of you for a brief moment.

“Are you nervous?” Shinichiro suddenly asked, causing you to stiffen in your spot, “About college, I mean. I know you said it’s still sinking in. It’s a big step, after all.”

You silently exhaled the breath you’d been holding, shrugging half-heartedly, “It’s not that much different than high school, I’m assuming… well maybe a little.” You started, hoping to sound unfazed, but you failed, letting out a light chuckle, “Okay, I guess I’m a little nervous, yeah.”

“It’s normal to feel that way. Don’t worry, you’ll do fine,” Shin assured with a kind-hearted grin that turned mischievous, “Who knows, you might even meet a nice guy.”

Your smile faltered, but only for a second. You forced a laugh, turning your head to the side and mumbling out a weak, “…Maybe.”

Your brows pulled down for a moment in thought, biting the inside of your cheek. Your mind wandered to the promise you made to yourself in your room, but Shinichiro’s teasing words made you second-guess yourself more than you already were. He couldn’t be interested in you if he could say something like that… but then again Shin always teased you this way. Whether it was about former black dragon members or jokingly accusing you of having a crush on him, that’s just how Shinichiro was. You could never be sure about how the older boy felt about you. And you never would, not unless you acted somehow.

You began to fidget with your hands, twisting at your fingers in your seat. If he says no, you can play it off as no big deal, and, well, your brother will be home in the next forty-or-so minutes and free you of your embarrassment. If he says yes… well, you’ll have to wing that if you don’t pass out from excitement. You can feel your heart hammering against your ribcage at just the thought of the conversation beginning. But you had to. So say it. Just say it. Say it. Say something! “Hey, Shin—?” Wait, you were really gonna ask him this?!

“Yeah?” His head tilted ever so slightly, prompting you to continue.

You swallowed. Your mind was staticky, having thrown yourself into the pit completely unprepared, “Can I ask you something? It’s a favor, really—You don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course. It’s a big favor and all, so…” You winced as you fumbled through your attempt at a response. This was so much easier in your head.

A fond smile painted its way onto Shinichiro’s face as he watched you fidget nervously, “What’s on your mind?”

You paused, taking a deep, quiet breath and letting it out, pushing yourself up to your feet from the couch. Mind made up, you tossed a glance toward Shinichiro, “Follow me? It’ll be easier for me to explain in my room.”

He raised a brow but nevertheless joined you in standing to his feet, replying with an amused yet curious, “Yeah, sure, lead the way.”

This gave you more time to calm your nerves, which would hopefully allow you to get your next words out without much trouble. Plus, you’d be way too embarrassed if this conversation went on longer than you expected and Takeomi and your younger sibling walked in on the two of you discussing this on the living room couch. Really though, you were trying to push asking him back as long as you could. But you knew that you couldn’t push it back forever. How long was it until Shinichiro would confess to someone who accepted? Then you’d never get the chance.

Both you and Shin stood in front of your bedroom door, and you sighed before turning the knob and gesturing for Shin to go ahead of you. You began to feel self-conscious as Shinichiro looked around. He’d been in your room once before in middle school, but that was at your grandmother’s house, and these were different circumstances.

“Nice decor. It’s cute,” Shinichiro complimented as if he could sense your unease. He then cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck, “So what’s up?”

Right. It was now or never.

“Could you… teach me, um…” You still couldn’t get the words out properly. Having him right in front of you made this so much more difficult than you thought it would, and you were starting to regret opening your mouth to begin with. Maybe you could just make something up and forget this stupid plan altogether.

“Teach you?” He prompted, smiling down at you. He was patient, allowing you to collect your thoughts before you continued, but in the brief silence, his mind wandered. Maybe you wanted to learn how to drive a motorcycle? Takeomi was okay, but probably not the best teacher.

This was about setting yourself free from this decade-long crush, for better or for worse. With your next words, it would be over.

“Teach me… how to make a guy feel good…” It comes out barely above a whisper and mumbled, and he thinks he heard you, but there’s no way he heard you right. You wanted to crumble into a little ball at your own words.

His eyes widened a bit before his brow furrowed, “Could you… repeat that for me?” He asked, wanting to make sure he heard you right.

You deflated for a second, not wanting to repeat yourself at all. The air left your lungs the second you uttered those words, and asking you to say them again was too much. You were beginning to feel lightheaded and your mouth was dry. Taking a steadying breath, you forced yourself to meet his eyes.

“Shinichiro, I want you to teach me how to please a man.”

Oh.

He heard you right then. His mouth opened, but then closed again, finding that he was unable to speak. His face didn’t give you any hints as to what his thoughts were other than his surprise at your request.

After a few seconds passed by, you broke the silence. “Say something, at least…” You urged, the quietness playing at your anxiety worse than anything else. You could accept whatever answer he gave you, you just needed to hear it.

“G-Give me a second.” He held out his hand before bringing it up to his mouth as he thought. He glanced at you, and after another moment, asked, “Why do you want me to teach you that?”

You winced slightly, looking to the side before sighing. You took a few steps forward, away from Shinichiro, before taking a seat at the edge of your bed. You’re hesitant, but you explain, “I’ll be starting college soon… and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I don’t know—it’s embarrassing. Take-nii’s too strict and—”

And I’ve only ever had a crush on you… the thought goes unspoken.

You sighed before continuing, “I’m just worried that I’ll meet someone and I won’t know what I’m doing and they’ll dump me or make fun of me. Most people I know have already lost their virginity. I haven’t even had my first kiss.”

He didn’t say anything right away, instead taking in your words and contemplating them. You felt the mattress sink down at the added weight as he sat next to you. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, not until he said something first.

“[Name],” He started, placing a hand on your shoulder, “ Your first time should be with someone special.”

“You are someone special.” Shin’s eyes widened slightly, and you both looked shocked at your statement. “I mean—” You inwardly cursed yourself. This was supposed to be a casual proposition, and you were baring too much of yourself, “I feel safe with it being you. You’ll always be in my life, no matter what. Some pushy college guy I date might not… then I’ll just feel bad about it. If it’s you, I’ll never regret it. I trust you.”

Once again, Shin went quiet in thought. You weren’t stupid. You knew Shinichiro was almost two years older than you, he’s known you since you were a snot-nosed five-year-old, and he was best friends with your older brother. He’d likely never seen you as a potential love interest, and this was probably super sudden and out of nowhere for him.

“Like I said, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course,” You stated sheepishly, backing off when doubt began to set in, “I’d never want to make you uncomfortable or anything like that. I just wanted to ask you first because I trust you the most… and I don’t really hang around any guys besides you, Wakasa, and Keizo, so…” You trailed off contemplating your next words, “I can always ask Wakasa, it’s no big deal. Though I feel like he’ll never let me live it do—”

“Don’t ask Waka.” Shinichiro cut you off with a frown, pausing for a moment before adding, “You’re right. He wouldn’t.”

You nodded, a breathy laugh leaving you, “Yeah. That’s why he was my second choice.”

Another silence fell between you, though this time, it was Shinichiro who broke it.

“You know that I’m not really all that experienced either…” He spoke tentatively, pulling at the collar of his shirt, “If this is something you’re really set on, I’m not sure how helpful I’d actually be. You sure you’d want me to teach you?”

You were both facing each other, eyes scanning the other’s face in search of something. This was your first actual glimpse of a yes, and it made you question if you were sleeping or not. Of course, you knew you were very much awake and that you were going to have to answer his question. After some thought, you nodded, both to yourself and the boy in front of you.

“You’re the person I’d feel the most comfortable with, Shin. And… I can teach you what girls like too. I mean— I haven’t really explored that much… I’ve done some things, I know what feels good, but—” You shook your head, cutting yourself off, “What I mean to say is, we can teach each other. It’s mutually beneficial.”

Your cheeks felt like they were burning and you fought the urge to bury your face in your hands or one of your pillows, though you weren’t the only one. Shin’s cheeks were visibly tinted red. You wished you could tell what he was thinking. You were beginning to feel hopeful, that there was actually a chance that Shinichiro could be interested in you, that he was capable of seeing you as more than Takeomi’s sister.

Shinichiro gave a short nod, acknowledging your words, but there was still one thing gnawing at him, and he shared that concern with you, “There’s still Takeomi. I think he’d beat even my ass if he knew I was sneaking around with you, y’know.”

Takeomi being your brother was the reason you met Shinichiro to begin with, but as you’ve always feared, it would remain the biggest reason you could never be with him. You loved your brother, but you cursed your relationship with him.

“I think yours is the one butt he wouldn’t kick for it, if I’m being honest…” You chuckled, though it left a bitter feeling within you. You often wondered how Shin would treat you if you’d still known each other for as long as you have, but you weren’t Takeomi’s sister. Maybe now was as good of a time as any to finally ask… “Hey, Shin, if I wasn’t Takeomi’s sister, would you still be so hesitant?”

He didn’t give you an answer verbally, but his eyes betrayed him.

You pressed softly, “My brother doesn’t have to know… it’s not like we’d be dating or anything, right? Just friends learning together…” You leaned closer to him, feeling a bit more confident now, “I’m an adult now, Shinichiro. You are too. I don’t have to ask Take-nii’s permission and neither do you. I’m my own person. So, what do you want to do?”

Shinichiro mirrored you, deflecting your question back at you, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

You blinked, and once again found yourself locked into a questioning eye contact with him. You were slightly taken aback by his question. Of course this is what you wanted. You were the one who asked him. You gave a small, but firm nod, “Yes.”

Shin swallowed, taking a deep breath and letting it out, “Okay then,” He nodded, “I agree to be your “teacher”.”

You felt like you were floating. You’d been fully prepared for rejection, yet—

“But,” He stated, cutting off your thoughts, “I don’t wanna rush into anything too major right away. Small steps, alright?”

“Right.” You replied hastily, clearing your throat before continuing, “I agree. Taking things slow is for the best.”

You were both completely inexperienced in this field, and it entirely showed. Neither of you knew where to go from there, but you were the one to initiate this, so you knew you had to bridge the gaps.

“So, what would be okay right now?” You asked reluctantly, studying his expression carefully.

His eyes flickered down for a split second before meeting your eyes, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He thought for a moment, before somewhat bashfully suggesting, “Kissing… should be fine, right?”

Your breath hitched for an instant, your chest fluttering at his words as you shakily replied, “Yeah, that would be okay.”

Shin nodded, moving closer to you on the edge of the bed. You were hyperaware of his movements as he reached his hand out, a finger gently hooking under your chin to tilt your face toward his. His eyes searched yours a final time for any sign of dissent, but when they fluttered closed, he finally pressed his lips to yours. You melted into the action, hand coming up to rest against his shoulder as you returned the kiss. Everything seemed to slow aside from your pounding heartbeat. You felt like your body was buzzing.

Shinichiro pulled away after a few more seconds passed, both yours and his eyes slowly opening to meet one another’s. Soon after, he let out an airy laugh, and you couldn’t fight back the smile that made its way on your face.

It was perfect.

And you were greedy.

You were the one who leaned in this time, your nose delicately brushing against his before capturing his mouth in a kiss. Your lips moved against his, and he responded in kind. It was a little clumsy at first, but you both found and fell into a rhythm. His hand came up to cup your cheek, and you couldn’t help but lean into its warmth.

You couldn’t believe it. You were in your bedroom kissing your childhood crush. It felt like a dream, and when you pulled back, he was looking down at you with parted lips. His hand traced down your neck like a feather, making you shiver. .

You kept up your appearance, though you felt warmth enveloping you as you quietly questioned, “How was that…?”

“That was… wow.” Shin chuckled softly, using his other hand to brush his hair out of his face. He looked down at you thoughtfully, eyes twinkling mischievously as he began to lean in again, “But more practice never hurt, yeah?”

His kiss was still gentle, but there was a bit more force behind it this time. You leaned into Shinichiro, your hand finding its way into his hair, running through it and making him hum into the kiss. Your mind went blank and so you allowed yourself to run on autopilot, doing what felt right in the moment. Whenever one of you broke away from the kiss to catch your breath, it didn’t last long until you fell back into it.

His hand found your waist, and you were filled with the desire to get closer than you already were. You placed your hand back on his shoulder, the other one pushing you off of the bed and further into Shinichiro, deepening the kiss. Reading your movements, Shinichiro pushed himself further back with his feet, giving you more room to climb onto his lap. His hands snaked around your waist to help steady you.

You pulled back slightly, just enough that your lips still brushed against his as you shifted your weight, both of your hands on his shoulders as you made yourself more comfortable in his lap. As you pulled yourself closer to him, one of Shinichiro’s hands snuck to the back of your head, pulling you back into another heated kiss.

You felt a bolt of electricity pass through you when you felt his tongue gliding against your bottom lip, his arms trying to pull you in even closer. You let him take the lead, allowing him to deepen the kiss even further, your hand sliding down to his clothed chest. Despite his bold move, you could feel his heart pounding against your palm, and it comforted you knowing he was possibly just as nervous as you.

His hands were hesitant as they glided up and down your sides, slowly making their way up, but hastily falling back down to your waist once they’ve gone “too high”. Feeling a bit bold yourself, you grabbed one of his hands, moving it up toward your breast and giving it a reassuring squeeze. You felt him stiffen slightly, taking is a small gasp of air against your lips. You allowed your own hands to travel, finding the bottom of his shirt and sneaking underneath until your fingers ghosted his stomach. Shin let out a small groan.

His hand gave your clothed breast an experimental squeeze, swallowing the little whine that escaped your lips. You arched into his touch, and Shinichiro began to softly knead at the area. You felt like you wanted more, like you needed it, and that scared you.

You broke apart again, both of you panting as your eyes met as his and hand fell back to your waist. You weren’t sure how much time had passed. It could have been ten minutes or an hour and you’d be none the wiser. Neither of you spoke, taking a minute to soak in what just transpired between the two of you.

“Was that okay?” You asked once the silence grew to become too much for you. It was half joking, half serious, anxiety about your performance nibbling at you.

“More than okay,” He let out a breathy laugh, “You’re perfect.”

His praise made you feel shy all of the sudden, and you found yourself burying your face in his neck, mumbling out a quiet, “shut up”. He must have been teasing you again.

He chuckled again, and you could feel it, “I’m serious, though. You’re cute, too.”

You sulk a bit. This was too good to be true, there’s no way Shinichiro was actually saying this to you after all these years. You shuffled a bit on his lap, putting more weight on your left side to give your right side a break. Shinichiro’s grip on your waist tightened a bit, letting out a small groan as you rubbed up against him. You could feel Shinichrio tense up underneath you.

Was that…?

You paused, devious ideas beginning to play around in your hazy mind. Your confidence was boosted just enough for you to press your lips against his neck, purposefully repeating your earlier action. He took in a sharp breath, his hips pressing harder into yours as he pulled you against him.

“Fuck… [Name]—”

You nipped at his skin, careful not to be too rough on the sensitive area. He sighed softly, rolling his head back slightly to offer you more room. It looked like you already found a weakness of his. You continued to grind your hips down on his, the friction forcing small whines from your throat, which you muffled by burying your face deeper into Shinichiro’s neck. Wanting to hear the sounds, Shinichiro nudged your face out of hiding, only to crash his lips into yours against yours in a hungry kiss. You could feel your wetness gathering in your underwear as his cock continuously rubbed against your core.

Slow? Did he say that?

He pulls your hips against his again, his clothed cock grinding perfectly against your clit causing a breathy moan to escape you. He swallowed your moans, repeating the action again, and then again, practically drunk on your little noises.

“Shin, please…” You whined against his lips. You don’t know what you’re asking him, you just know you want more.

He presses one last needy kiss against your lips before pulling away, his hands finding the bottom of your shirt, “…’m gonna take your shirt off now, darlin’. ‘s that ok?” He asked breathily, lidded eyes meeting yours as he awaited your answer.

“Mhm.” You hummed, nodding readily, moving back slightly to give him easier access.

Your shirt is halfway up your torso revealing the bottom of your bra to him, and you were in the process of raising your arms to make it easier for him when the sound of the front door opening and closing, followed by your little sister’s excited shouting interrupted the two of you.

Both of your eyes widened as you looked at each other, Shin pulling your shirt back down with a start as you immediately sprang into action, jumping off of his lap. The two of you were likely thinking the same thing as you smoothed out your appearances.

How did you let it go that far knowing your brother was coming back home soon?

“Shoes off in the house, you guys know this.” You heard Takeomi fussing your younger siblings before calling out, “Shin? [Name]?”

You’re already on the floor, scrambling to turn on your TV to a blank screen, pressing the button on your PlayStation to see which game was inside. You could do this. You can totally make this look innocent.

“We’re in my room, Take-nii!” You call back, causing Shin to send a worried look your way. It wasn’t like there was a chance you could discreetly slip out of your room, so the best thing you could do is look like the two of you were just hanging out.

You shoot him back a reassuring glance as you grab one of the controllers on the floor, unrolling it and handing it to him as you explained, “Take-nii has always been really strict, so sometimes… y’know, I’ve just learned to get away with some things. Nothing bad though!” You assured quietly, “So, just let me handle this.”

“That’s… good.” He replied hesitantly, “But you should try not to lie to your older brother too much, okay?”

You purse your lips, “Huh? What’s that? You want me to tell him you were about to take my shirt off a minute ago?”

“...Good point.” He conceded, holding up his hands in surrender. He readjusted his pants, grateful that they were baggy as he watched you continue to paint the scene. He heard his friend’s footsteps as he walked down the hall.

“Ok, hand me the controller,” you whispered, holding your hand out. He raised his brow slightly, but did as you said, leaning over to hand your controller back to you, just as the door to your room opened to reveal Takeomi. You turned with a smile, “Hey, Take-nii, that took you a while.”

“You know how grandma is,” He sighed, letting out a small laugh, “So, what are you two up to?”

“We got tired of waiting, so we played some Street Fighter for a while. Figured you’d be back soon though, so we just finished up.” You replied with a shrug, rolling up the controller and placing it in front of the console.

“[Name], we wanna play!” Senju exclaimed, pushing past Takeomi and bounding up to you. She jumped on your back, arms hugging around your neck as she pleaded, “Please!”

“Senju you’re choking me out, sweetie.” You struggled out, tapping on her arm and prompting her to release you with an apology, hugging up on your side instead. She was way too strong for someone her age.

Takeomi spoke up from behind the two of you, lightly scolding, “Senju, that game isn’t really something girls your age should be playing.”

“But it’s [Name]’s game and she lets Haru play it all the time.” She argued, tilting her head with a small pout causing your brother to click his tongue. You’d be hearing about that later. She pulled at your shirt, “Can I play it, please?”

“Do you have any homework?” You asked, petting her head as you looked down at her, “We can play whatever you want after we get that done first.”

“Awww. Okay…” She pouted again, letting go of your side

“Can we set the PlayStation up on the big tv in the living room?” Haru mousily asked from the doorway, peeking in from behind your older brother.

“Hmmm,” You tapped your chin in thought before grinning at your siblings, “Well, since you asked nicely.” You watched as their faces lit up, Senju cheering loudly as you pushed yourself up from the floor. “But homework first.” You reminded, beginning to shoo your younger siblings out of your room, patting Haru’s head when you reached him, “Come on, your big sister will help you.”

You always offered to help them with their homework whenever you and Takeomi had them after Senju told you that she understood better when you explained the material than when Takeomi or grandma did. Usually, the three of you could get everything done fairly quickly, that way they could spend the rest of the evening relaxing or having fun.

“I’ll let you have Shin back, Take-nii,” You tossed over your shoulder, watching as Shinichiro stood up from your bed and walked over to your brother, “I’ll keep Haru and Senju busy and give you guys your space.”

“Look at you, being a good kid for once,” He joked, reaching out to ruffle your hair as you’d done to Haru, but once again, you swatted his hand away.

“Not a kid, old man.” Your tone was as light as his, but he tsked, giving you a disapproving glance.

“You could be a little more respectful towards your older brother in front of our younger siblings, y’know. You’re setting a bad example.” He chastised, and you sighed.

“Sorry, sorry,” You waved him off, following your younger siblings out of your room, the two older men walking out right behind you.

Haruchiyo looked back at you hesitantly, and you sent the boy a poised smile. As he got older, more tension seemed to form between Haru and Takeomi, and it didn’t go unnoticed by you. It got especially worse after his accident. You were closer in age to Takeomi, so it was easier for you to wave him off like that, but you knew Takeomi’s strictness weighed heavily on Haru at times, and you tried to do what you could to give him more freedom.

Both Senju and Haruchiyo grabbed their backpacks from the sofa, carrying them over to the dining room table where they unpacked their homework while Shin and Takeomi continued to visit on the couch in the living room. You sat at the end of the table, helping whenever one of them had a question and checking their work once they finished an assignment. Luckily, neither of them had much to do, so you were finished up after only twenty-five minutes. You did catch Shinihiro glancing in your direction every now and again, making your cheeks feel warm.

It didn’t take long after she was finished putting away her school supplies, that Senju was at your side, reminding you what you promised them.

“Alright, I didn’t forget. You two go sit and wait on the couch while I get everything set up, okay?” You instructed, shaking your head fondly as Senju bolted to the living room, Haruchiyo calming following after her. As you passed, you made eye contact with Takeomi, clasping your hands under your chin discreetly, only the two older men seeing it. He rolled his eyes but shrugged nevertheless. You’d still hear about it later.

“Need help?” Shinichiro offered from the couch before you disappeared into the hall.

You peeked back at him, giving him a careful smile as you waved halfheartedly, “Nah, I’ve got it. Thanks, though.”

It was… strange, having to act like nothing occurred between the two of you not even an hour ago. Anxiety began to bubble in your chest, but you pushed it back. You had a task at hand and siblings counting on you.

You unhooked the wires to your PlayStation from your TV once you were back in your room, lazily wrapping the wires around the console and placing both controllers on top as you strolled back to the living room. It didn’t take you long to hook everything back up on the larger tv, handing each younger sibling a controller and letting them unravel them. The cords weren’t long enough to reach the couch, so they sat on the floor as Haru booted the game up for his younger sister.

You plopped down next to Shinichiro, the three of you watching the two children fight it out on the game, the sound of buttons mashing on the controller and Senju yelling filling the room. The three of you occasionally made commentary.

It didn’t go long before a tournament started. Senju and Haru talked it out, deciding that they would fight first followed by Shinichiro and Take-nii. The two winners of that would then fight, and whoever won that match would have to fight you, the owner of the game, A.K.A. (as Senju put it) the final boss. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that the main reason you bought the game was for her and Haru, so you probably weren’t the best, actually.

Senju and Haru’s match was a close one with both characters down to the last of their health but ultimately ended in Senju’s victory. You patted the spot next to you for Haruchiyo, patting his shoulder once he sat down. Shin and Takeomi were next, both men sitting down on the floor with Senju behind them. Unlike the neck-to-neck match that took place before them, this one was a one-sided massacre on your brother.

Takeomi cursed, handing the controller to his youngest sister who took his spot. He was never good at fighting games. He claimed his spot back on the couch, glaring over at you before you could even say anything, knowing what was coming.

“You—!”

“Not one word, [Name].” Takeomi cut you off with a scowl, and you opened your mouth in mock shock.

“Sore loser…” You grumbled out, crossing your arms, only Haruchiyo sitting next to you hearing your words.

You, Takeomi, and Haruchiyo watched as the next match started. Shinichiro’s character got the first few hits in, but one failed connect was all Senju needed to turn the table in her favor. It was a surprisingly close match for the first half, but after both characters were at half health, Senju caught a second wind. Your eyes were glued to the screen as Senju’s character continued to beat Shin’s down, quietly cheering your sister on.

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon…. YEAH!!” Senju jumped up, controller falling on the cushion she’d been sitting on as she cheered.

“Ha, you suck, Shin!” You giggled pointing at the older boy and watching as Senju hopped around in celebration, “You got your butt kicked by an eight-year-old.”

“What can I say, she has me beat.” Shinichiro chuckled with a modest shrug, pushing himself up and holding the controller out to you, “Your turn, [Name].”

You stood up from the couch, fingers brushing against his as you took the controller from his hand. When Senju found her spot back on her cushion, you sank down next to her.

“I won’t show you any mercy, [Name].” Senju declared as she selected the same character she’d used in the previous matches.

You scrolled past the first few characters, picking one that you knew you were pretty good with, nodding in her direction, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

When the match began, Senju was quick to advance, landing a few hits before you managed to jump over her character, launching a counterattack until a quarter of her health was down. You let her get a few good hits in, deciding you would fight seriously once you were a little past half-health, though you threw a few punches to make it look realistic. Even once you started playing for real, Senju didn’t relent in her vicious assault until your character was K.O.ed.

“I’m the champion of the tournament!” Senju announced, running around the coffee table in a fit of excitement before sliding back next to you.

“You really got me,” You praised, rubbing the back of your neck, “Good job, Senju.”

Shinichiro gently poked your back with his foot, causing you to stiffen before turning around. He couldn’t help but tease, “What were you saying?”

You grinned, reaching out to wrap your arm around your younger sister’s shoulders, bringing her into a half hug. “That my sister kicks butt!” You declared, causing her to burst into a fit of giggles.

Haruchiyo hopped off the couch and was at your side in seconds, “I wanna play you next!”

You turned to him, your grin never faltering as you accepted his challenge, “You’re on, Haru.”

The five of you took turns playing until Takeomi declared it was time to get dinner started, and after they ate it was bath and bedtime for the kiddos. Knowing what that meant, you stretched before making your way over to the kitchen. You’d already decided on what you’d be making tonight since you knew Senju and Haru were gonna be over, and luckily it didn’t take too long to prepare.

“Shin, are you gonna be staying for dinner?” You asked before you stepped out of the living room, wanting to know how much you would need to make for everyone to get enough. It wasn’t rare that you ended up feeding Takeomi’s friends every now and then, though you never minded if it was Shin. He never complained about your cooking.

The older boy looked over at the clock on the wall, wincing slightly when he saw the time. It wasn’t especially late, but he promised Manjiro he’d stop by on his way home, “I should… probably start heading home soon.”

“Oh, ok,” You tried not to let your disappointment show, but you brightened up, asking, “Do you wanna grab a drink from the fridge before you go?”

He studied your expression before nodding, “Sure.”

He followed you into the kitchen while Takeomi worked to calm Senju down, unplugging your PlayStation from the TV and entrusting Haru to place it back in your room for you to set back up later.

There was a lot to talk about, but you both knew that now was not the time for it, so you opened the fridge, grabbed what you needed to cook, and placed it on the counter before grabbing a drink for Shinichiro and handing it to him. As he grabbed it from your hand, you looked at him, lowly whispering, “Call me?”

His eyes widened slightly, but once he processed what you were asking he gave a firm nod.

“Take too long and I’ll call you,” You teased quietly before raising your voice to its normal range, “Alright, well I’m gonna get started on dinner then. Be safe on your way home, ‘kay?”

Shin chuckled, shaking his head, “Yeah, I will. See ya later, [Name].”

“Bye, Shin.” You waved, watching as he made his way out of the kitchen, tossing one last glance your way before he walked back to the living room to tell your brother goodbye.

They chatted for another minute or so while you worked on getting dinner ready, though you couldn’t make any of it out until they walked past the kitchen and towards the entrance, both friends saying their short goodbyes to one another as Shinichiro slipped his shoes on.

You heard to opening and closing of the door that signified Shinichiro’s departure, and you took a deep breath, letting it out and allowing yourself to deflate a bit. You were both left with your own thoughts as Shinichiro exited your home. Despite your deflation, your chest bubbled with all kinds of emotions. Excitement and anxiety were at the forefront, though it was difficult for you to differentiate them right now.

You weren’t sure what Shinichiro was thinking, but you couldn’t help but wonder if his thoughts were similar to your own at this moment.

Wow. That really happened.

#somehow i managed to be both a takeomi apologist and slanderer at the same time #honestly? as god intended #oh how i adore the brother's best friend trope #this chapter turned out very long but it didn't feel right splitting it #shinichiro sano #shinichiro x reader #shinichiro x you #shinichiro smut #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers imagine #tokyo revengers smut #tokrev smut #this is my first time posting an actual fic so i am nervous

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fiction-box · 1 year

Note

Hello there ^^

Are your requests still open ? If yes I’d like to request a character x reader scenario or headcanons (which ever is better for you) for Dimitri and Claude (separately pls) with a female or gender neutral reader (not Byleth) who is asexual ?(When someone identifies as asexual that means that they don’t feel any sexual attraction towards any gender)

Scenario for orientation/inspiration : They just confessed to each other, but the reader wants them to know that they’re asexual before they get official, since it can be a potential dealbreaker. So the reader tells them that they don’t plan on ever having s”x with them, will also not do any compromises (not even for children/heirs) and tells them that they should search for another partner if they’re not happy/accept it, since the reader will not step over their boundaries for a partner or their partners pleasure.

If you don’t want to write both, then please just for Claude. I hope you are well and have a great day/night ^^

Happy Thursday, my lovely! I finally got some free time to put my writing into an online sheet, so you can imagine this work has been crafted over the course of several weeks. I'm going to attempt to post much more often (as I have wanted to for so long now), but life happens and I tend to be busy.

In any case, I hope you enjoy this work despite my tardiness. Have a wonderful weekend.

To everyone, please feel free to fill my inbox! My rules are pinned to the top of my blog, so request as much as you'd like after reading those!

The story will be continued under the cut.

“What are you doing out here so late?”

You whipped your head around in shock, getting a good look at the man that had snuck up on you.

“Goodness, Dimitri,” you sighed, placing a hand over your chest in an attempt to quell your racing heartbeat, “a little more warning next time? You almost scared me right off the bridge!”

The moon shone high in the sky, illuminating the bridge to Garreg Mach’s cathedral in a faint, white glow. You found yourself stopped at the center of it, taking in the way the trees created long shadows in the night.

But now your eyes were trained on the new King of Fodlan. His appearance here, in the middle of the night, ran almost too coincidental with where your thoughts had been headed.

“Ah, my apologies,” he returned with a chuckle, “You never did answer my question, though.”

At this, you ducked your head, “I…just…”

How were you meant to communicate the reason without scaring him off? You were hopeful, yet fear engulfed you. That was why you were here tonight. You wanted to sort out your feelings…about him.

“Was that…too intrusive? I do not mean to bother you.”

You wished you could find the courage to speak, or even just to look at him.

“Perhaps I ought to leave you here, for tonight. Know that I am here to talk if you wish.”

Hearing him shift to move finally prompted you to return his gaze, “No, that’s not what I want. It’s just…hard for me to find the words. The easiest way to put it would be to say that my thoughts were keeping me from sleep. I figured a walk might help me work through some things, but I’ve had no such luck, so far.”

“I see,” he nodded once, stepping forward to your side, staring out at the view that had held your attention for so long tonight. “I could say I came out here for a similar reason, myself.”

You kept your eyes on him, “If you wouldn’t mind sharing, may I ask what it is that has kept you up so late?”

He turned to you slowly, his face turning darker, “I suppose you will find out, eventually. I might as well tell you now.”

“Oh, well, if I’m going to find out anyway, there’s no reason for you to say it.”

Perhaps it was some plan or strategy for the Kingdom to rebuild, you reasoned.

“You can deliver the news to me alongside everyone else.”

Dimitri gave a light chuckle, “No, I’m afraid that wouldn’t be proper.”

Propriety? You wondered. There must be another matter on his mind, then.

Lightly, the blond reached out for your left hand, placing it in his own and bringing it to his lips. The action made your eyes widen and your heart skip a beat.

“Dimitri…”

“I believe I have fallen in love with you.”

Involuntarily, you took a step back.

You weren’t ready for this conversation, yet. That was part of the real reason you came out here. Yes, you were in love with Dimitri, but things weren’t that simple. You loved yourself, too, and you would never betray yourself. Not even for the love of another.

In truth, it was your love for him that made you hesitate. You weren’t interested in…copulation…but for stability reasons, Fodlan’s throne would need an heir. Seeing how the Kingdom had taken over Fodlan, it would be safest to keep the rule within the current royal bloodline. Namely, Dimitri’s.

That wasn’t even considering his crest. The crest of Blaiddyd had been a symbol of great power for generations. How selfish would it be for you to cause its end all because you weren’t interested in sex?

So, though you loved Dimitri, you weren’t planning on ever making your feelings known to him. The world would be better off with the two of you apart.

And yet you had found yourself coming here for a walk, anyway. You had questioned whether or not to ruin everything if only to save your bleeding heart.

And somehow, you wound up in this position; Dimitri coming to you with his heart in his hands while all you could do was step back.

Selfish and selfless. A fool all the same.

“...I see…” the royal waivered, lowering your hand, “Forgive me, I believe I have read all this terribly wrong.”

Say something, you idiot! Don’t let it end like this!

“I can’t.”

He stopped himself just before releasing your hand.

“...what?”

“I want to say it back. Truly, I do,” you began to explain softly, “but, thinking of the future, I know that I could never.”

“Why not?” he questioned, stepping in towards you, “Is there something wrong with me? Are you unable to forgive the sins of my past?”

He looked down to the side, “If that is the case, I do not blame you.”

“No, that isn’t what I meant at all!”

“You are a noble, so that cannot be what you are worried about. You are kind, beautiful, compassionate, patient…no doubt the people would love you.”

“Please, stop,” you begged under your breath, shutting your eyes.

Dimitri lifted your hand once more, grasping it in both of his own, this time, “You would make a wonderful mother. I have always dreamt of having a large fami-”

“That!” you almost sobbed, pulling your hand out of his. Even just hearing him say such things made your head spin and your stomach swirl, “That is the reason I cannot…we cannot…”

“You…do not wish to have a family?”

Why is this so hard? I wish it didn’t have to be this hard.

“I don’t want to…to have sex.”

“But…”

“Please, don’t try to change my mind,” your eyes met his, “If I thought I could manage it, even just for an heir, I would have done so in a heartbeat for you. But I have thought about it, and I have tried to change my mind.”

Your arms wrapped around yourself. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, and your throat was beginning to tighten, “I love you, Dimitri. I love you so much that it hurts, but I just…I can’t do that. I could never betray myself.”

For a moment, there was nothing. You closed your eyes, and a droplet made its way from the corner of your eye down your cheek.

Suddenly, your tears were being wiped away. Dimitri had taken off his gloves and was cupping your face with his hands. His thumb swiped under your eyes, and the prince let his forehead rest against yours.

“That is all I would ask of you. Just knowing that you return my feelings is enough,” his eyes never left yours, “I love you. Not for what you can or cannot do, but because of who you are. We can work together to find the solution for that issue, but know that you are worth so much more than your desire to have children.”

He made you feel so foolish for even worrying. Of course you could work it out together. So long as you had one another, the rest could fall into place.

Separating his forehead from yours, Dimitri wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. Though his armor was cold and unforgiving, his hands were warm. Kind, just as you had known them to be.

No matter what would happen next, you would always have Dimitri. He was all you needed to trust that everything would turn out for the best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, this is where you ran off to?”

“Woah! Who-?” your heart practically leapt into your throat as you spun around, quickly backing into the railing.

Claude laughed, though his gaze darted between you and the railing for a moment.

“Hey, take it easy! I just didn’t think you were the type to come to the Goddess Tower when you’re worried, is all. Don’t, uh…don’t throw yourself over the railing about it.”

Your eyes widened further than they had already once you realized how dangerous that could have been.

“Oh my-!” swiftly, you put distance between yourself and the rail. “N-No! That wasn’t my intention at all!”

A bit of tension left the royal’s body, at that. The release was visible.

“Good.”

A sigh turned into a breathy laugh from Claude, “Seriously, don’t scare me like that. I don’t know what I would have done if that encounter went differently.”

Like this, you could see just how shaken your leader actually was. It seemed to have quite the impact on you, too.

“Well…don’t follow people into towers only to scare them at the top! You scared me!”

“Okay, okay! It’s my fault, I’m sorry. Can we just…move past this now?”

You nodded, and a beat of silence passed between the two of you.

“...how did you know I was worried?”

“Intuition,” the wyvern rider smirked. “Come on, you don’t really think I see you as the type to ditch an informal celebration, right? One in your honor, no less?”

“It’s for all the Golden Deer, not just me.”

“I’m not hearing any argument on that first part.”

You paused, clenching your teeth behind your closed lips the slightest amount and looking to the side.

“Yeah, not really helping your case, there. You know you can trust me with anything, don’t you?”

He looked so lucid, and yet…timid? Sheepish?

…Afraid…?

Well, so were you.

“It’s…my mother. I just needed to get away from everyone; I didn’t want to ruin the celebration by forcing everyone to put up with me when…my heart really isn’t in it.”

“Oh,” that strange emotion from before left his eyes. Almost like he was…disappointed? “Is she sick?”

“That’s not it,” you turned away from him a little, shifting in the same direction as your gaze. “She sent me a letter. Now that the war is over, she’s going to force me to get married.”

Claude’s expression grew pensive, “...To force you…Do you not want to get married at all?”

You looked at him, then, “No…yes?” you took a breath, trying to start over, “It’s, um…I…”

“Take your time. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

He says that, but he seems to be more interested in this topic than the last…

Glancing aside again, you took a breath and released it.

“I’m afraid. I’m completely fine with marriage, but I can’t…” another deep breath as you lowered your voice, “I refuse to have children. Even the thought of sex makes me sick. Of course, there’s the matter of promising to spend my life with a stranger or someone I don’t love…though I wouldn’t hesitate to do that if it meant…”

Your eyes found Claude’s, only to see his expression frozen in what you believed was shock.

“Ah,” you recoiled slightly, “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have unloaded all that on you!” You blushed more than you knew capable, ducking your head out of his sight and covering your face with your hands, for good measure, “Just…forget I even said anything!”

“No, you’re completely fine! I’m just surprised this is the first time I’ve heard about any of this!” he reassured you, “I was just thinking,”

Well, that could have gone worse, at least.

“Let me get this straight,” you calmed yourself down enough to look at your house leader, noticing that expression from before returning to his face. “You would rather marry a complete stranger than someone you loved, just so long as you knew you wouldn’t have to have sex with them?”

You nodded, afraid he was judging you.

Instead, Claude let out a breath of air through his nose, “In that case, I think I have a solution to both of those problems.”

He crossed the short distance between you, taking both your hands in his own and lifting them before you could process what was happening.

“Marry me.”

“-! Claude…” you breathed.

“I love you. I love you enough to respect your boundaries because what matters to me is that I get to spend my life at your side. The thought of you marrying some stranger just to be true to yourself…Even if you don’t love me-”

“I do!” you cried, beginning to tear up. “I do love you, Claude, this is just…I didn’t want to force any of this onto you. A lot of people see this sort of thing as a deal-breaker, and I…I couldn’t do that to you-!”

Claude let go of your hands, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him. He felt you shake as you took a breath, tears now flowing freely from your eyes.

“You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I love you, just like this.”

Your tears came even faster as you outright sobbed into his chest. Not even your own mother had said such words to you. At home, you were more of a nuisance than a noble; a pawn that was reluctant to be played.

Pulling away slightly, you wiped your eyes and looked into Claude’s green ones.

“I…I have to be sure. You’re really okay with spending your entire life with me without…a-and you won’t with anyone else, either? Is that really what you choose?”

The Almyran King chuckled, “Well, I can’t say it’s a path I anticipated for myself, but I can’t say I anticipated you having this preference, either.” He smiled at you, “It just goes to show I have so much more to look forward to learning about you, and I can’t imagine letting anyone else get ahead of me, there,” Claude winked.

You didn’t move, waiting.

“Just like I said, though, a large part of my happiness comes from being near you. There’s no way I’m giving any part of it up just so I can bed someone each night. You’re the one I fell in love with, not your body or what you could have offered in the bedroom.”

Finally, you sighed and felt something in your chest relax.

“Don’t get me wrong, though! I still expect you to have a pillow and a blanket waiting in there! This isn’t gonna work if I wake up with my back stiff each morning.”

Giggling, you stepped back into him, the two of you holding one another with silly grins on your faces.

The future looked brighter with someone who loved you at your side.

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opinated-user · 11 months

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"why i have been sick so much, if recovery wasn't kicking my as" this is just gaslighting everyone who knows her presence online. one time we saw that she was actually sick. we could all even hear it. we all agreed that she should have been resting and let MO do the video she was recording instead. i even remember LO complaining about how MO was sick and she had to be the one to take care of her. but all of that was months ago and after that, it was business as usual, with LO streaming late at night or early in the morning, playing videogames in the most uninteresting ways possible and recording questionable videos with inappropriate sexual jokes or references to games about commiting CSA as a core mechanic. none of that has changed even now. but now we're meant to believe that actually she was sick all this time? how? this is the same woman who has almost doxxed herself in streams more than one time because she didn't realise she had her mic on while reciting her own address out loud or was so impatient she tried to open a package with her teeth in front of the camera, while the sticker with the address was still there. this woman is not a master at masking and wouldn't have endured through a massive amount of pain and discomfort just to "not worry anyone" because that has never been her thought process whenever she decided to create a new event in her life. worrying everyone is one of the things she just does with a frequency very few people can match. as to why do all of this... if you're new to this side of LO's "fandom", you might not know about Courtney, LO's younger sister. if you only heard LO's version of events then you'd think that Courtney was a pampered awful girl who threatened LO's life in three ocassions for no reason at all (no reason, just because), who LO used to brag about beating up when they were kids and was a "psycho" for *reading notes* getting herself groomed by a pedophile as a underage girl. you can all go search on her blog right now for more information about what LO has said about her, it won't be any better than what i'm describing right now. Courtney a few weeks back came out with some allegations against her older sister, such as... -molesting her during her sleep. -trying to coerce her into having a sexual relationship while she was still a kid. (the actual reasons why Courtney ever threatened LO, according to her story)

-using stockholm (yes, that stockholm) as a way to fantasize about what LO wants to do with her.

-SA multiple children in their neighborhood.

-compared her to Meg from Family Guy only to then write fanfiction about her self insert dating Meg.

-sexting a 16 this very year alone. a few days after Courtney came out with these words, that is when LO made her announcement that she was in remission. so indeed, ask yourself why would LO pretend to have cancer after receiving such accusations from her sister... to whom she immediately pivoted into trying to victim blame.

#lily orchard #lily orchard lies about cancer

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drdemonprince · 1 year

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hi devon! i recently binged all your medium articles, your writing hits so close to home and has opened so many doors of self-reflection for me, thank you. one of your latest ones was about porn and autism, i have some differing opinions on porn itself, but i enjoyed your perspective on it.

i would love to hear your thoughts on autism and hypersexuality in a broader sense. i’m someone that’s recently realised how much my premature exposure to sexuality and porn in childhood made me hypersexual in a way that really stunted my personal growth and had me traumatising myself with my own compulsive sexual behavior. as an undiagnosed autistic adhd kid i was just grasping after any form of stimulating and self-soothing behavior, but also looking after ways to make myself more interesting and appealing to peers and most importantly boys (because interest from men = value as a human i learned early on). i think i could’ve figured out gender and sexuality stuff a little earlier and avoided my comphet phase had it not been for how obsessed i was with sexualising and objectifying myself in my tweens and early teens tbh. i hope to see more people talking about autism and sexuality. my heart breaks thinking about how so many demonise kids with problematic sexualised behavior when they’re literal children trying to figure out this having a body thing and there’s usually grown-ups around them standing idly by doing nothing effective to help.

Hi there! I love hearing from people who don't share my perspective completely but can still get a lot out of my work.

I alluded to this yesterday, but I don't believe hypersexuality or hyposexuality are a thing. Where do we draw the line where it becomes pathological, and why? Clearly humans have varied in how much they desire and think about sex since the beginning of time, and while we still have not figured out a respectful, appropriate way to cope with the fact of it, children also sometimes have an interest in sex and masturbation and a curiosity about it that is completely value neutral. It's just a thing that happens because children are living human beings.

Unfortunately we inhabit a paradigm where this is supposed to be either ignored or punished and discouraged, and anyone who does bring it up is viewed as having some ulterior motive beyond the liberation of children from abuse. And so if a child is curious about sex or driven to explore it in some way, they only means they have of pursuing that interest is by consuming adult material, which a lot of people look back on having done with a variety of different feelings. It sounds like you saw a lot of porn from a young age that really gave you unhelpful expectations for yourself and others and that it really hurt you, and I'm really sorry to hear that.

I consumed a lot of adult content as a child and a teen, not just porn but also real life gore and jump scare videos and elaborate, violent sexual stories, and of all those experiences, the only one that seemed to scar me was the jump scare videos. Seriously, newgrounds fucked me up, and not because I was playing games like Orgasm Angel. It was shit like kikia that fucked me up. The potential that my most beloved friend, the computer, could start screaming at me and showing me dead babies at any moment meant I was on edge and obsessively read all the comments on every video I ever viewed for like... seven or eight years. Even if a friend or classmate wanted to show me a youtube video, I forced them to read through all the comments and convince me it wasn't a jumpscare video first. For like years.

It might be that the only reason I was able to watch and read and play a lot of porn online as a kid without any real adverse effects was because I had a really specific fetish, and so most of the content I was able to view was of an obviously fictional and fantastical variety or was made directly by the people who starred in it. As I wrote in my essay, I'm glad that I started watching brainwashing gifs on weird websites and masturbating to them as a kid. It helped me feel less alone in my fetish and it didn't scar me, and provided a sexual outlet that was actually pretty safe and private and didn't put me in contact with any adults. It was a really nice pressure valve, a way to stim and zone out and regulate my breathing and get off, and finding content like that helped me to realize there was a whole big wide world out there where freaks like me could be okay.

THAT said, I can understand your experience! Porn didn't fuck me up as a kid, but I did learn some really pernicious sexual norms as a teen, because I had abstinence only education at school and I obsessively read Dan Savage's advice column Savage Love as a replacement for having any kind of credible sex ed. I used to worship Dan Savage. I met him for pancakes once, you can read about my whole complex relationship to him and his work in a very old piece I wrote pre transition here:

Dan Savage's work was really influential on me and on a lot of people of my generation. From his stuff, I learned that I should be good, giving, and game for just about anything a partner wanted -- which meant I pressured myself to do things I didn't always want to do. He normalized a kind of casual, unarticulated nonmonogamy among people of my age group including everyone I dated -- and so being open without really discussing what that meant was the norm for me from age 19 until about age 23.

Dan Savage wrote that blowjobs come standard and that any model who is not equipped with them should be returned to the lot -- thats really how he described women who didn't do oral. As broken cars. Dan Savage said that asexuals should only date other asexuals and probably werent real anyway. He said vaginas looked like canned hams dropped from great heights. He said a gay trans guy who couldnt take T for health reasons was 'delusional' for wanting to date fellow gay men. Reading Dan Savage fucked me up, and it's not even his fault -- he was just an outspoken faggot with an advice column that was always clear in reflecting his biases and agendas, and I was just a horny confused kid with no sex education and no where else to learn about sex other than porn and the back of the local alternative mag.

So, this is all a very long and meandering way of saying that I'm sorry you also got attached very young to untrustworthy sources of sexual information and that they also scarred you and left you pressured to be something you were not. I was there. I think many of my generation were and some still are. and not just the Autistics. I know so many people who got swept up in the messages that conventional porn and writers like dan savage had to peddle -- straight people, queer people, poly people, disabled people, everyone. The sad part is that Dan Savage for all his faults was still a lot more progressive than where many of my peers turned, which was sites like efukt or the predecessors to the chan sites and shit. It was brutal out there.

It's also the case that many of us Autistic people are prone to intense fixation and rumination and obsession, by neurotypical standards, sometimes to our detriment, sometimes in a completely neutral way that would cause us zero harm if it weren't for all the societal stigma and judgement. and that can mean that, especially when we are lonely and closeted teens, that we retreat into a lot of damaging digital messages and imagery, and I think a lot of bad, sexist straight porn unfortunately played that role in a lot of people's lives. My version of that was instead compulsively reading pro ana livejournals (as a teen) and then later terf detransition blogs (in my 20s). So again I don't think it's necessarily a phemoneon of porn per se, but obviously there is a lot of really toxic shit out there that has warped a lot of people's viewpoints around sex and relationships, I can't deny that.

I wish I knew what the solution was to help prevent future generations of kids from going through the kinds of damage you and I went through, but I think we are so far from being prepared as a culture to have this conversation that most attempts to broach it end up making things worse for kids in all kinds of scary new ways -- parents heavily monitoring and controlling their kids browsing habits for example. That sure as hell isn't going to help a closeted queer kid who is exploring themselves in most cases. Instead of building a world that is more liberatory and supportive to kids, we just keep trying to control them more and more, and impose more and more strict standards on them, which always hurts the weirdest and queerest among us the worse. It fucking sucks. Shit. i really am going to have to write about about child liberation one day wont i

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starfall-spirit · 1 year

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The Silver-Tongued Bride

Summary: See STB Masterlist

Word Count: 1581

Chapter III: The Wedding

Feyre

For three years, Prythian had been free from its self-proclaimed High Queen. For three years, Rhysand had been selecting bride after bride to ruin and kill, perhaps as that witch had ruined him those forty-nine years. He'd confided in her once that he detested Amarantha as greatly as any other fairie stuck in that hell of her invention. Feyre had to wonder if that's where this twisted practice was rooted. His claiming of females' freedom, binding them—us—as Amarantha bound him.

To Prythian for forty-nine years, Amarantha's whore.

Feyre would not be his.

She could already hear Azriel when he caught word of who his High Lord chose this time around. "He said you were tied by the bargain, not marriage, so I let it be. I know I haven't been nearby to request your pardon, but now you're next on the chopping block and you didn't tell him you're one of mine, why?"

She would of course, before her Death Dawn came, but if she could save another girl—hopefully multiple, telling her stories—she would stay. Even if that meant warming his bed eventually. It was more rumor than fact, what Rhys expected of his Night Brides. Velaris was the capital city, and the travelers that came through her village were the only source of information.

Still, half said the females had their own room and didn't see Rhys beyond the wedding ceremony while others said Rhys kept them at his side, puppets at the hand of his daemati magic, serving him in one way or another day and night.

That wasn't quite the impression she got Under the Mountain, despite his puppeteering of her. Then, she had never pictured him arranging something so horrid as the Death Dawn when they were freed from Amarantha. What she could and couldn’t put past him was impossible to know.

Either way, she had her Wraith gift and daemati shielding to avoid any ill intentions. And even if it came to something sexual... Well, their moment under the mountain was admittedly pleasant. A knock fell on the door and she begrudgingly opened it, grateful the dress was more practical and fluid than it had appeared on the dress form. Rhysand stood there himself. "Not waiting at the end of the aisle?"

He offered his arm and a charming smile, the flawless image of a gentleman. "You slayed a Middengard Wyrm. Quite frankly, Feyre darling, I don't trust you not to stab my guard with his own sword and run."

Something kin to satisfaction, petty as it may be, had her monitoring her expression. "Run where, Rhysand? Do you not respect my instincts enough to realize I'll be taking note of every entry, exit, and guard positioned from one side of this place to the next?"

He chuckled. "Oh, Feyre darling, I'd be disappointed if you did anything less. Even if you do get past the guards, no one breaks my wards, short of—"

Short of Azriel's Wraith unit, nonexistent to the rest of the world.

"Yourself?" she offered sweetly.

"Yes. Only myself and the Night Lords before me are tied to these wards, as ancient as the very first to reign. The only woman who would be able to break through them without my knowing is my High Lady. My mate."

"There's no such thing as a High Lady."

He smirked. "There could be."

"There won't be,” she bit out, “so long as you kill each bride before giving a bond the time to snap."

He didn't respond, as they had just reached the doors leading towards that dreadful aisle. That aisle that hosted scattered red rose petals.

It started with a spill of red paint, a bucket kicked over in front of a stunning mural depicting whatever the children of the village felt to paint in those first days after their freedom was granted. Elain had soothed her panic attack that day right there in the market square. When they got home every bit of Feyre’s red paints, their red curtains—all but the smallest trimmings were burned.

She had recovered, but now, faced with such a fate as this, she couldn't breathe. Even three years after her freedom was granted, her stomach was turning, her breath quickening.

Because still, red was blood.

Red was death.

Red was screaming and begging and prayers of the fae on their knees. Red was her knife flying, striking home through Amarantha's chest, rather than Elain's. Red was her collapsing on that white stretch of carpet leading to that picture perfect altar.

Rhysand cursed, banding an arm around her middle before my knees made impact. She winced as his fingertips pressed hard against her ribs. Breathe, before you make a fool of yourself.

Fuck, her shields.

Yes, you dropped them. Look at them. She raised her eyes, obeying for the sheer sake of not spiraling again. Not at our guests. Guests who couldn’t quite see her breaking down, thank the Mother. Look at the roses,” he pressed. Containing a whimper, Feyre obeyed that too, not having the strength to shove him out yet. By glamour or true replacement through his magic those roses were white. I'm sorry I didn’t consider what this might do to you. Truly.

Feyre shoved him out of her head, dismissing his pity, sincere or not. She took another breath, another step. Another and another until the two of them were facing each other, a High Priestess nameless to her binding their hands with a wide black ribbon before taking a step back as Rhys glided through his vows with that silver tongue and as she stumbled through hers.

"I, Feyre Archeron, vow to serve and defend my court and people, my strength and dedication at my—" She swallowed.

His thumb stroked the back of her hand beneath that ribbon. "Husband's," he purred.

"—at my husband's side. At my High Lord's side I shall remain until I meet the Mother in her land of milk and honey.” Her voice was hardly higher than a whisper. “May my soul enter eternity."

He flinched. The ever-composed High Lord she'd wed flinched as if struck by an unexpected pain. She gasped, icing her hands to put out the kernel of flame summoned in her rising anger.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Though his face was a mask of calm Feyre could see the whirling emotions in those violet eyes. Anger at the forefront, intrigue on its tail, and almost-giddy delight at what he could now manipulate. Twisting his hands within that ribbon, the binding pulled taut. He yanked her against his chest, holding her in place as he claimed her mouth. Her right arm began to tingle and she knew without looking that she’d find ink identical to her bargain tattoo, marking her as his.

As tempting as it was to summon that fire again, she couldn’t risk it with six other High Lords in attendance. They hadn't bothered attending any wedding of Rhysand's beyond the first, realizing what he had fallen to.

And then they heard he set his sight on Feyre Cursebreaker. No, she wouldn't expose the untamed gifts they passed on, because while she could potentially escape the Death Dawn, the High Lords would undoubtedly stop at nothing to regain their lost power.

Rhysand finally released her, smirking as he watched her claw at the ribbon sanctifying their "blessed union". When she was confident he wouldn't stop her from marching right out of there, she lifted her skirt and stepped off the dais, immediately intercepted by Helion Spell-Cleaver.

“What?” she snapped. He quirked a brow. “If you expected me to curtsy—”

“Hardly.”

“Then excuse me.” He glanced over her shoulder, lips twitching upward before offering his arm. “I’m not—”

“The longer we talk, the longer you get to avoid playing the pretty wife,” he reminded her. She nodded, not bothering to glance back. He chuckled. "Two weeks every month until you die. The bastard."

"I did what I had to do, down there. And I didn't realize he'd become a Bride Killer back then.” She shook her head, reeling like an even bigger fool saying it aloud. “I would have bargained down to one. Bargains are tricky and I won't ask for your help nullifying it. I have to figure this out. Maybe stop other girls from getting hurt."

"You can't stop playing hero, can you Cursebreaker?"

Her lips twitched. "Not yet, Spell-Cleaver. Not yet."

Again, he glanced back towards Rhysand, patting the hand I rested on his arm. “Do yourself a favor, Feyre.” She cocked her head. “Don’t let Beron or Kallias see you pull that little stunt.” She blanched, casting a nervous glance towards the other monarchs. “Relax. I always wondered how much we gave. Day and Night are allies, even if we’ve been a bit… distant lately. I won’t be sending any assassins after you. But Feyre, if he lets you live, convince him to train you. If you gained a gift from each of us you could be a major player in what’s building with Hybern.”

He hesitated there. “I know of Hybern.” She wouldn’t go as far as confessing she had a part to play beyond this storytelling. “But I was not made for battle, Helion.”

He snorted. “Any faerie under the mountain would disagree, little huntress.” She scowled. “Feyre, you’re twenty-two. Little is appropriate here.” Again, he patted her hand before she could spit something back. “Save that fire for your husband. You're going to need it.”

Previous | Next

~~~~~

Taglist: Reach out to be added or removed.

@faeriequeensuriel // @pandavelaris // @s-uppertime // @goddess-aelin // @shallyne // @the-lonelybarricade // @reverie-tales // @acourtofwips // @jealousveronya // @darling-archeron

#acotar #scheherazade au #feysand #feysand fic #wedding #this time i made helion an ally right off the bat #dark!rhys #spy feyre #pissed off bride to say the least

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literaticat · 2 years

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I’ve seen this question around Twitter a lot: “Why are you the person to write this story?” followed by a lot of discourse about how certain people are only allowed to write certain things. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Say you’re writing a middle grade about a haunted house and you’ve never lived in a haunted house yourself nor are you a realtor for your day job. Does that make you unqualified to write a haunted house middle grade? Thanks for taking the time, Jenn!

I can't tell if this is a bad-faith question or not. Ha ha. Welp. Let's pretend it's not for a moment.

People might ask that question, "why are you the person to write this story" or "why are you uniquely qualified to write this story" about any kind of story -- and often the question IS being asked about what your expertise is in the subject. Maybe the book is about penguins, and you are a zoologist and head of the Detroit Penguin Society. Maybe the book is about a kid who learns to read and you are a long-time early-childhood-education specialist. Maybe the book has to do with climate change and you are a climate scientist, or a journalist who has done a lot of research about the topic and is a passionate advocate for policy change around it.

Or maybe the book is just a fun book about a haunted house, and maybe the answer is just "I thought of it." But that's not a very interesting answer, is it? A better way to approach this question might be to think of it as, "what lead you to write this story?"

So, if the story IS about a haunted house -- maybe the answer is, "I've had a life-long fascination with ghost stories and read every spooky book I could get my hands on as a kid. But the inspiration to write THIS story actually came to me, believe it or not, in a dream -- I dreamed that my cat asked "why are the walls bleeding?" -- and when I woke up I was like -- LET'S FIND OUT!"

But here's the thing. You might also be trying to figure out if I think white/straight/cis/whatever people should write the stories of marginalized people. And instead of "haunted house" you meant "BIPOC Queer People" or something. Which um -- you know that is not a great analogy, right?

And I do think it is important to interrogate WHY you are the best person to write this story (and if indeed you ARE) when you decide you want to write a book about somebody else's identity. Maybe you AREN'T.

Like, if you are an Upper-Middle-Class Cis White Gay 23 year old Man from Topeka, with zero connection to New York, LGBTQ revolutionaries of the mid-to-late 20th century, BIPOC folks with a complicated gender indentity, activism around unhoused people, sex workers, the AIDS crisis, and the only thing you know about drag culture is what you learned on Ru Paul's Drag Race -- are you the best person to write a book from the POV of Martha P Johnson? I understand that you just learned about her and you want to "teach the children" -- but don't you think that maybe, JUST MAYBE, there are people more qualified to write this story? Maybe people who ACTUALLY KNEW HER, or who have walked in those shoes as an activist, or who otherwise have a personal connection with one or more parts of her identity and story?

Maybe you have done so much research and immersed yourself so fully in the history etc that you really feel this in your bones, and maybe the people that knew her and are experts trust you to do a great job. Maybe. :-)

Or maybe you should think of a way in to the story you want to tell that doesn't co-opt another person's identity. Like if it is a story about Queer History you want to tell -- maybe it is told from the POV of a cis white gay kid, like you were, who is in NYC in 1969 and seeing this stuff for the first time, and what their reaction to Stonewall might be? That doesn't mean your book would not be chock full of loads of different kinds of people of all gender-sexual-racial-identity-intersections -- of course it WOULD be! But your main POV character -- the one whose eyes we are seeing through -- would be a little bit more like yourself. Obviously it ISN'T you -- you weren't alive in 1969, you never went to NYC as a kid -- but it is not somebody so different from you that it would basically require a whole-brain transplant to get it right.

Ugh I have no idea if I answered your question, but anyway, I'm going to stop typing now, I hope that made sense.

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donutloverxo · 3 years

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His queen

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+.

Note - An anon asked for an au sequel to first night with no stucky but this can be read as a one shot. Thanks to lizzygal(link to ao3) for her advice on this! This is written for @sweetlyscared's 1k angst challenge! Congrats boo! I used the prompt 'Do you love her?' Although this is hardly angsty but it's as angsty as someone as soft as me can get🥺 Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Summary - Married life with Steve was amazing (although with a few bumps in the way) until you discovered a heartbreaking secret.

Warnings - explicit sexual content, painful sex, innocent naive insecure reader, dub con/noncon, soft dark Steve, jealous Steve, ooc villain Sharon, like a little breeding kink, some angst.

Pairing - soft dark king!Steve x reader

Word count - 5.3k

Steve jolted when your palm hit him across his face, his hand circled around your wrist, ready to fight whatever it was that slapped him off, his grip loosening when he realised it was just you. You wiggled your hand away from his grip, mumbling incoherently before turning away from him, so that he could only see the silhouette of your nude back in the dim light.

Although he had been with a handful of women, he never had to share a bed with one. He didn’t think he’d ever have to, he was born in royalty, raised to be a king. While he liked having your soft warm body in his arms, he maybe could live without your hands slapping him, or both your legs over his thighs and hips.

It was customary for wives to have their own chambers after the honeymoon period was over. And with a heavy heart he had sent you to your own chambers, he made sure you were treated to the best luxuries possible.

But he found himself missing your presence soon enough. Your legs over his, you annoying him for attention whenever he was working, the way you hummed a song in your head, how you often clumsily bumped into things, your sweet beautiful voice, your scent, everything about you.

So he went to your room, told you that you were to live with him in his chambers from then on. You were hesitant at first, but didn’t say no to him.

You could never deny him anything. He loved that about you. How subservient you were despite being so fiery.

He was grateful to have made you move in, in times like these, when his cock was hard and achingly pressed against your thigh, he had you right where he wanted you.

He softly called out your name, he’d rather have you awake for this. He loved listening to the sweet sounds he could pull out of you. When you didn’t so much as stir he decided he would just have to wake you up another way.

Pushing your legs off his, spreading them apart to make room for him as he hovered over you, pressing soft kisses, rubbing his beard against your skin, he made his way down to his destination, he was parched for your nectar.

He kissed your petal, your cunt already oozing with need, your body would always want him even if you weren’t awake. He frowned when you didn’t move at all. He had been a bit too rough with you that night, exhausting you, making you pass out as soon as he was done, but he was growing more and more impatient.

Scraping his teeth over your clit, he bit it ever so lightly as you yelped awake.

“Oh!” you gasped when you looked down to find the king between your legs.

Swallowing a lump, because this was still so very strange to you. Your mother had told you how a man and woman make love before your wedding, but she never mentioned anything like this.

From your knowledge the king putting his mouth there wouldn’t result in you getting pregnant. But it did bring you great pleasure, to the point where it was maddening.

Sometimes it was the only thing on your mind.

It was as if you were addicted to it.

“My king...” you squirmed when you felt him push his fingers inside you, “I’m so tired... I have court tomorrow...” How he managed to do all his duties and still have you at least thrice everyday was beyond you.

“You don’t have to go. You’re the queen, the future mother of my children, you deserve a day off. Besides I do work you a bit too hard, don’t I?” he asked before plunging his tongue into your heat.

“Huh? No... I’m glad to be serving you...” And you had yet to give him any heirs.

It wasn’t long before you released all over his mouth, your cheeks heating up when you saw his beard coated with your slick as he wiped it off with the back of his hand.

“You can stay in bed all day tomorrow. That way you’ll be strong and ready by the time I’m back.” He told you before capturing your lips in a bruising kiss, as you tasted yourself on his mouth.

Turns out a day off was everything that you had needed. You were born a princess, albeit of a kingdom standing on its last legs, you were the youngest of six sisters, your prospects weren’t all that great.

Your mother told you that you’d be lucky to get a rich lord, let alone a Duke or a prince. A King was out of the question. She taught you how to handle a household, she never could’ve prepared you for court or to be a queen. You always dreamt of marrying for love. Of running away after falling for a stable boy and living far away and being free.

But you married the King of the most prestigious kingdom in the whole world. While you had grown to love Steven, you didn’t love all the responsibilities that were thrusted upon you so suddenly, you didn’t like how you were always under scrutiny. Every move you made was watched and judged by others. You still couldn’t believe your life sometimes.

So it was nice to have a day to yourself. You had slept in till late in the morning, having your breakfast in bed before taking a leisurely bath and then decided to go for a walk in the garden just before the sunset before you’d have to go back up and have dinner with your husband before having to perform your wifely duties.

“Your grace,” you smiled upon hearing the familiar voice, turning around to see Lady Sharon approaching you.

You hadn’t seen her in over a month. She had been so kind to assist you and help you get acclimated to your duties, you’d always be grateful to her.

“I thought you were under the weather,” she frowned. It was the excuse you had given to skip court with your ladies that day. Which wasn’t a complete lie. You were a little sore between your legs. But a warm bath had fixed that.

“I’m feeling quite better,” you said, standing upright, a dignified smile on your face--formal and curt.

Always be formal and curt with everyone. Your instinct was to hug her when you saw her after her month long trip, like you would to any of your sisters or friends, but you must always act like a queen since you were one.

“How was your trip?” you asked her as she hooked her arm in yours so you could both resume walking.

“It went alright. Mama wants to marry me off to the Duke Stark, the trip was some sort of matchmaking ploy,” she snorted.

“What’s wrong with Stark? He seems so charming.” You remember meeting him at your coronation ceremony. Where he had got you beautiful pearls from an exotic country.

“He maybe charming, but at the end of the day - he’s manwhore.”

You gasped incredulously, your hand over your mouth as you looked around to make sure your maids didn’t hear you, “Lady Sharon,” you chastised her, “We can’t use that sort of language.”

“Forgive me, your grace,” she apologized, “I often forget how naive you are.”

“What? Naive?” you huffed. “Not using such filthy language hardly makes me naive.”

“Live a little, all royals are debauched in one way or another. I’m surprised to see just how much of a square you are.”

“Is... is being a square a bad thing?” You wanted to know. You never thought of yourself as a conformist, in fact your mother used to tell you you’ll die an old maid if you didn’t start acting more like a lady and less like a spoilt brat.

“Sometimes it is...” she pondered. “Well, for instance, being a square in bed might be boring for some men.”

“What?” you gasped again. Tightening your grip on her arm and walking at a faster pace to put some distance between you and your maids, “Give us a minute,” you told them.

“Lady Sharon,” you looked into her blue eyes, much like your husbands but a little darker, “Have you ever been with a man?”

“I have,” she shrugged. “Just the one. He was my true love.”

“Bu – but you aren’t married.” You frowned.

“So?”

“So, how can you make love to anyone if you aren’t married...” Your mother had told you that making love only ever happened between a man and his wife.

“I... you do know what making love entails right? This is what I meant when I said you were too much of a square,” she chuckled.

“Don’t... don’t make fun of me...” you pouted.

“I’m sorry, your grace, it’s just,” she put a hand over her mouth as she cleared her throat, “Really funny. Two people, who aren’t married, can make love. Being married is good but not a requirement.”

“I suppose that makes sense, me and his majesty could do it even if we weren’t married...”

“Is he happy with you?” she wanted to know.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just, you don’t know much about physical relations, and there needs to be a certain level of knowledge and experience for it to be good at it.”

“Do you think he is unsatisfied with me?”

“I wouldn’t know,” she shrugged. “Does he seem unsatisfied?”

He was always asking for it. Which you preferred, because you’d die of embarrassment if you ever had to initiate it. You couldn’t go for too long without it either. He had went on a hunting trip for just a couple of days and you wanted to jump on him and keep him in your bed as soon as you saw him.

Why would he ask for it again and again if he was satisfied?

“I’m not sure... since you know so much about it would you give me some advice?”

“My, I would’ve thought you’d call me a harlot or a whore instead you’re asking for advice...” she smirked.

“Oh, I would never. That is what my mother would say, probably, but you’re my friend. Besides, I would want to make love to Steve even if we weren’t married, and if he was a stable boy.”

“A stable boy?” she quirked a blonde brow.

“Yes! And I would be me, a princess. It’s just a silly dream I used to have,” you shrugged. “What happened to your love? The one you lost?”

“He got married to someone else,” she stated. And although she was firm and sophisticated as always, you could hear his voice wavering and how much pain she was in.

“Oh my... I am so sorry, Sharon,” you said, engulfing her in a hug to comfort her, now that you do actually love someone, now that you know what loving someone deeply means, how overwhelming it can be, you couldn’t even imagine what losing that love would feel like. “You’ll find someone better.”

“There is no one better, your grace. But I’ll give you some advice,” she pulled away from you, putting some distance between you both, “You have to pay special attention to his balls. Many ladies tend to forget them.”

“Ball...? Like toys? I don’t believe he has any.”

“Your grace,” she rolled her eyes as she snickered, “He does have them. That is where your children will come from.”

“Um... what? Wouldn’t they come from...” you looked down, to the place between your legs. That’s where kids come from. That’s what you had been told.

“Well, yes, that is where they will pop out of. But the balls... the ones right behind his manhood, that’s where his seed comes from.”

“Oh...” you nodded as you realised what she was talking about. “So... what about the... balls?”

“Just pay special attention to them. He would like that. Suck on them, tug on them... but gently!” she chuckled as she realised she would have to talk down to you since you were so inexperienced.

“Oh... alright... anything else I can do?”

“Try to be more... active... instead of just sitting there and taking it you know?”

“Alright. I think I get the gist of it.”

“You ready for me, petal?” Steven asked as he looked down at you, naked and vulnerable, so beautiful and all his. He nudged his cock against your intimate lips, prodding at your entrance as he awaited your answer. He knew he could be too much for you sometimes, he was trying to do better. So he could make you love him at least half of as much as he loves you.

“Mm-hm... but um...” you trailed off. Not exactly knowing how you would go about asking to suck his balls.

“What?”

“I was just wondering if... I could... do that...” you fluttered your lashes, that usually got you whatever you wanted from him.

“And what is ‘that’?”

“You know... when you make me put my mouth on you...”

He didn’t usually make you use your mouth.

Most of the times Steven had a strict unofficial schedule he followed when it came to lovemaking. He wasn’t someone who liked or embraced change, he was always strategic, as a king and as your husband.

He’d kiss you till you were out of breath, then your neck, and then your breasts, he’d spend a long amount of time there, maybe because you liked that the most probably. And then he’d use his fingers to work you up, tasting you, eating you out and drinking your nectar.

That drove you mad, till you were on the brink of insanity.

You loved it as much as you hated it. You had never felt so out of control in your entire life. Not even when your parents told you they were going to marry you off to a kingdom far away, to a man you had never even met before.

Steven would complain that you thrashed and moved around too much, although he would encourage you to make all the noise that you wished. He pinned you down by your hips. Sometimes he’d make you make once, twice, thrice, it depended on how desperate he was to get his own release.

And then he’d have you on your back. Whispering the filthiest things to you as he fucked you, filled you up with his seed.

He’d hold you close to him, kissing your hair, kissing your cheeks and touching your ever so intimately. That was when you were the most clingy, you’d hold on so tightly to him. You were more vulnerable than usual. You would tell him about how, even though you love being the queen and his wife, it was so new and overwhelming, how you miss your family and your old life. How things had changed and so drastically. He’d always tell you that it would all be okay. That he would take care of you and never let anything bad ever happen to you.

Then he’d have you on your hands and knees. He told you he liked looking at your behind and spanking it.

After that you’d both fall asleep. Sometimes he’d wake up in the middle of the night and nudge you awake to love you some more. But he rarely ever made you suck him off.

“You wanna suck my cock?” he smirked as you meekly nodded. “Go right ahead then, petal. It’s all yours now, you don’t have to ask,” he told you as he sat up on his knees.

You looked at his cock. Hard and standing tall and proud up against his stomach. You now knew that being aroused made him hard and much much bigger. Maybe that’s why it’s often such a tasking job to take him--often leaving your cunt so sore.

Soft dark golden hair, much like that of his beard, and then you noticed them. His twin balls.

You took a deep breath as you took him in your mouth, suckling on his head, following your instincts and what he had taught you.

Your hand coming up and cupping his balls, massaging them gently in your hand. You stopped when you felt him go stiff.

Pulling his cock out of your mouth you looked up at him. “Did I do something wrong?” as you wiped your spittle and his preejaculate off your mouth.

“No,” he shook his head. It wasn’t often that he was stunned. Not ever really. But you, taking that kind of initiative, to touch him without him asking for you to, did shock him just a little.

He held onto the back of your head, bringing his balls just next to your mouth, against your soft lips, “Suck on them,” he told you.

You suckled at one, working the other one with your hand as he pulled at the roots of your head.

“Fuck! Stop!” he heaved, pulling you away, “I have to save it for your beautiful cunt, my queen,” he told you as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead before he pushed you back down on the mattress.

Swiftly entering you, you were still as tight as the night of your wedding, which meant he had to be patient while fucking you, and he tried. He really did. But he was not a patient man. Especially not when you had just put your mouth on him and worked your magic in mere seconds.

He put most of his weight on you as he slowly pushed in and out of you, your face scrunched up in pleasure as you dug your nails into his shoulders.

With your pussy hugging him so well, almost as if it was made for him, as if you were made by the gods just for him.

“What have you done to me?” he rasped, touching his damp forehead to yours. You had weaved some sort of magic on him, making him crazy for you. Now it was hard to tell where he ended and you began.

You pressed a hand against your mouth to stop from giggling or making any sort of noise. Resting your back against the cool surface of the throne. You chose the back of the throne in the court as your place of hiding. Maybe it wasn’t the most strategic ploy but you were playing against a six year old.

Lila Barton had asked to play hide and seek with you. Only to receive a scolding from her nanny--to not bother the queen with such trivial matters.

It was as if you were reliving your childhood. You always felt you were made to grow up and be a lady too fast. With your mother and sisters telling you how important it was to act mature and be a lady, or you wouldn’t be able to marry well. Or marry at all.

So you jumped at the first opportunity to play with the kid. Making her count to twenty before looking for a place to hide. You had to go get your lessons for sewing so you didn’t have a lot of time, you hoped she would find you soon.

“But you’re not even considering it!”

You perked up when you heard the familiar voice, it was Lady Sharon! You had to thank her for all her advice, things had been going great with Steven ever since you listened to her. He had been opening up to you as well, although he was still as voracious in his love making. If anything... he wanted you even more now. Which you didn’t think could even be possible.

But some part of you absolutely loved it. And you knew you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You peaked out to see her, to maybe call her to join you on the floor, hiding behind the large throne. You frowned when you saw that she was holding onto Steven’s arm, looking up at him with a certain desperation in her eyes.

“There is nothing to consider. I’m a married man. It would be adultery – a crime,” he stated.

“Bu – but you promised, you told me you didn’t love her. You said you didn’t have any other choice. I’m not asking you to leave her for me, I know that’s not possible. I’m not a fucking idiot like her.”

You slapped a hand over your mouth again to keep your sobs in, tears streaming down your face as you watched your husband, and his lover, have a lovers quarrel.

You couldn’t hear any more of it. Couldn’t bear it breaking your heart anymore than it already had. You quickly got up, fleeing out of the room by the back entrance - which the servants often used.

“You watch your mouth when you speak of the queen,” he yanked his arm free of her, putting some distance between himself and her, “I didn’t make any promises like that. I told you I intended to be faithful to her even if I didn’t love her.”

He knew it was a mistake to ever get involved with Sharon. He never wanted to be a womanizer. But he had his needs. He didn’t think she would become so obsessed with him. He had broken off their short fling as soon as he became betrothed to you.

He felt responsible for all the rumours about him and her and her ruined reputation. So he had arranged for her to marry his good friend Stark but she had her mind set on him.

“I like the queen. She’s a good friend of mine. I don’t intend to replace her,” she explained. She had no interest in being a queen and having such tedious and boring responsibilities anyway—the power and the status that came along with it just wasn’t worth the hassle. She pitied you and how you just weren’t made for the job.

“But she can’t satisfy you, she can’t give you what you need-- What I can give you,” Being the Kings mistress would probably be better than being a Duchess and marrying some boring old man.

“Won’t you even think about it?”

“No I won’t. And you are to never speak of this again,” he warned her.

“Your grace...” Lydia was completely confused. Standing there with your dress in her hands as you frantically stuffed your clothes in a chest.

She had never seen two people as in love as you and the king. When she first met you, it didn’t seem as if you and Steven would make a good couple. She assumed your marriage would be like any other she had seen. Cold and distant.

Steve had never been smitten with a woman, she always felt there maybe something wrong with him. But he had grown so fond of you in such a short time. Even going as far as asking you to live with him in his chambers. Having the king around often made her duties to you challenging. But she was happy for you.

“I don’t understand. What wrong? Why do you want to leave so suddenly.” Does the king approve of your sudden departure? If not would she get in trouble for it?

“He lied to me,” you sobbed. “I thought--” you let out a hiccup.

“Calm down,” she said as she rubbed your forearms. She wasn’t afraid to touch you in such friendly ways, you weren’t as stuck up as most royals.

You took a deep breath as you tried to explain to your handmaiden why you both had to leave as soon as possible. Before Steven gets back. You’ll move all your things to the room you were supposed to live in and just lock him out of your chambers.

“I would’ve been fine living on my own. Just being a wife and a queen. But he made me believe... that we could be more. That he loved me. It’s not true,” you shook your head. “He lied. He has another lover.”

“Oh,” she let out. She was disappointed on your behalf but not surprised. It would be strange if the king didn’t have any other lovers. “I’m sorry, your grace.”

“I’ll be fine,” you sniffled. “This'll be a good lesson for me. My mother always told me I have my head in the clouds and should live in reality. That’ll teach me to dream.”

It was almost funny for her to watch you babble nonsense, stable boys, princesses and backstabbing friends, take a break to cry your heart out and then resume packing and trying to order all the other servants.

“What’s going on here?”

Everyone stopped moving as soon as they heard the kings voice. He of course looked at the Lydia for an explanation.

“The queen wants us to...”

“I’m moving back to my old chambers,” you briskly walked to him, standing right in front of him, looking him in the eye. He was much taller than you, making you crane your neck to actually get a good look at him, but you still tried to look intimidating and confrontational.

“Why?” he frowned. “Put everything back just as it was,” he ordered everyone.

“No!” you stomped your foot, looking very much like an indignant child who had his toy taken away, than a queen, “Don’t! We’re moving!” But of course nobody would listen to you over Steven. Not just because he was their king, but also because he was much more intimidating than you.

“Stop it!” he reprimanded you. “Whatever troubles you may have, we can sort them out together, but you are not moving back. And that’s the end of that.”

“No! I’m leaving! I’d like to see you try to stop me!” You hmphed. Pushing past him and making way for the door. You didn’t need to take your things with you now, you could just send for them later.

You screamed bloody murder when you felt Stevens arm around your stomach, as he threw you over his shoulder in the blink of an eye, “HELP!!” You yelled at the guards and your maids, who didn’t want to get involved, quickly scurrying out of the room.

“Ring the bell if you need anything, your grace,” Lydia said on her way out to you before she closed the door. It didn’t seem as if the king intended to do any real harm to you so she wasn’t that worried about you.

You kept on hitting his back, thrashing around his hold to break free, “Put me down!”

He threw you on your marital bed, his fingers making quick work of ridding him of his clothes so he could show you how he was just never going to let you go.

“Why do you even care? If I leave or not? You can just call for your lover!”

“My lover?” he frowned as he tried to push your skirts up your legs, which was proving to be a difficult task. Maybe he should’ve asked the maids to undress you before making them leave.

“Do you love her?” you asked, looking up at him and stopping your futile resistance for a few moments, your lips wobbly as you felt your vision blue with tears. You were born a princess, living a relatively sheltered life, never knowing pain so unbearable. As if you would never recover from this, you would never be the same.

You would never believe in love again.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about, petal,” he said, getting frustrated with all the buttons and ties on your dress and ripping your skirt apart. Which he regretted, just a little because you started crying again.

“No! I like this dress.”

“I’ll buy you another one. I’ll buy you a hundred more.” He said as he hovered over you, diving in to kiss your beautiful lips and make you stop saying such preposterous things.

You sniffled as you tried to push him away, making him gather your wrists in one hand and pinning them above your head.

“Stop it,” he told you. “When will you understand that you belong to me now? If I say you have to live with me, here, then that’s what you’ll do.”

“I’m not your slave,” you retorted as you tried to wiggle your hands out of his grip.

“Stop listening to rumors! There are plenty going around. I do not have a lover.”

“No. I saw it with my own eyes. You and Lady Sharon. Just this afternoon.”

“What did you see?”

“I... she said she was your lover...?” You tried to think of what exactly had been said between them. But you couldn’t remember. You were blinded by your fury and your sorrow.

“We used to be lovers, before you and I ever met, but not anymore. I could never think of another, I could never love anyone else,” he said softly as he touched your cheek with his other hand, “You want to know why?”

“Why?” you pouted, feeling a little stupid now.

“Because you’ve ruined me, my queen. You’ve made me a lovesick fool. I could never love anyone else the way I love you. Do you want to know how much I love you?” he asked as you meekly nodded.

Pulling his cock out of breaches, he pushed your skirts up, exposing your thighs to him, he rubbed his cock along the slick of your pussy.

“Did fighting with me make you wet, my queen?” he asked, making you avert your gaze.

“I...” it was the way he had simply thrown you around, how he just wouldn’t let you leave, “Maybe...”

“Hm, don’t start picking fights with me for no reason though. My poor heart won’t be able to bear it,” he cooed as he kissed your cheeks, wet from your tears. “You look beautiful when you cry, love, but I only want you crying when I’m fucking you, you understand?”

“Yes...”

He pushed inside you, you were tighter than usual, it was difficult to even properly enter you. The pain of it of course made you cry again. You sobbed into the crook of his neck as he shushed you.

“You feel my love, darling,” he asked as he was buried to the hilt inside you, “I’ll give you a child soon enough. Then you’ll have a living breathing proof of it,” he whispered in your ear as he started steadily moving, making sure that he won’t hurt you.

“I wish... I was your one and only... like you are mine,” you sniffled as you held on to him, soon it is wasn’t hurting as much, it was a little uncomfortable but you could bear through it.

“You are my one and only. You’re the only woman I have ever loved. Do you love me, petal?”

He looked down at you, wanting you to say it. He needed you to love him, for you to say it to him, he needed to know you weren’t here just because you were scared of him.

“I love you, Steve,” you sniffled, rubbing your runny nose with the back of your hand.

He smiled at you, his hand trailing down both your bodies as he twisted your pearl between his fingers.

“It’s okay... it’s okay...” He kept telling you as you screamed at the top of your lungs, your climax making your mind and your vision fuzzy.

“I’m going to fill you up, petal,” he told you as he finished inside you, staying inside you for a long while after he was done just to make sure you knew how he belonged to you just as much as you belonged to him.

#sweetlysad1kchallenge #steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #steve x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #king!steve x reader #king!steve rogers x reader #king!steve rogers

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thepaininurneck · 3 years

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Okay, wow, never in my life did I think a music video involving giving Satan a lap dance would delve into a conversation about gay rights ( and how gay men are portrayed in media ), but Lil Nas X broke the world with MONTERO, so here I am. We’ve got three things here that I think are important - Internet culture, religion, sexuality. These are the things that I think people are getting too uptight over/not upset enough over, and I wanna rant for a bit, so bear with me on this one.

First, I LOVED MONTERO. I’m a whore for religious imagery/theming/etc. being used in media, and as a former Christian and an openly gay woman, it makes me very happy to see it used in a spiteful manner. MONTERO was gorgeous - sexual, unapologetic, and so clearly pulling straight from Biblical stories. The religion used commonly against us ( here in the US, at least, because I know other religions can be just as oppressive, if not worse, and Christianity isn’t the dominant religion everywhere ) being used in a way that’s expressive of our lives is beautiful. The very clear message of “Oh, I’m going to hell? That’s okay,” is perfect - for so many LGBT people in this country, we’ve been told that we’re condemned to eternal punishment because of something we can’t help. LNX took that in stride and made it art, with MONTERO and the video. I am in full support of it and will be throwing it on my horny playlist.

But here’s why I think this is so important - MONTERO’s release has exposed, in my opinion, where the real issues lie in Western culture. WAP did this too, a little - both of these songs, and their accompanying videos, were criticized using children. “Children watch you”, “how could you expose kids to this”, etc. were complaints hurled at Cardi B and LNX over their music. And in LNX’s case, people used his previous success with Old Town Road - I saw one tweet saying Old Town Road is “every kid’s anthem”, and that their children love Old Town Road. Which is problematic - how can you complain about MONTERO, but allow your child to listen to a song with lyrics such as “Lean all in my bladder”, “Cheated on my baby, you can go and ask her”, “Bull riding and boobies” - Old Town Road is not a child-friendly song by any means, but LNX didn’t include naked breasts, or ( as far as I’m aware ) market the song in a way that showcased those lyrics. So parents let their children enjoy their funny horse song, never looking into the words their kids were hearing daily. But with MONTERO, because they saw at a glance that it was an issue, they assumed this meant the previously “child-friendly” artist LNX, the man behind the funny horse song, was suddenly trying to indoctrinate their children. When in reality, LNX has never catered to kids. He’s always been open about his music and himself, and it’s entirely the parents’ faults for not better monitoring what media their children take in. It is never the responsibility of the creator to change their content for an audience they didn’t want. MONTERO, and WAP, both exposed just how internet culture has allowed parents an excuse to be lazy, hands-off pieces of shit, and demonize creators further.

MONTERO also exposed how homophobia continues to follow us, in how many comments there were calling LNX predatory, claiming he was indoctrinating children and pushing agendas - and, with Kaitlin Bennet’s actual racist comments, now he’s being slandered. ( if you didn’t see that beef, TLDR: Kaitlin asked “do you still see your dad?” w/ blatant intent to hurt, LNX replied with “yeah and I’ll fuck yours”, to which Kaitlin accused him of threatening to rape her father and several small, conservative ‘journalists’ ran with it ). I don’t like throwing around the word homophobia, but this isn’t new - gay men have been called predatory for a long time and demonized for even small gestures like holding hands. And now, an openly gay man made a video celebrating his sexuality ( which isn’t a new topic: look at any music video from the early 2000s for more examples of people expressing sexuality ) and given fuel to these idiots to continue pushing their narrative of “gay man predator, gay man bad”. Fortunately, it’s a lot less than it would’ve been thirty years ago. But the fact that it still happens on this scale, enough that journalists pick it up as a story, and governors, Candace Owens and other prominent homophobic conservative figures jump on the bandwagon....it’s sad. A man celebrating his sexuality shouldn’t be demonized the way it is, and MONTERO is doing an amazing job at spitting in people’s faces.

Cutting myself short here, I think MONTERO was a gift. It’s a work of art in many ways, but the social response it generated is also a blessing in that it shows what we need to prioritize - which is self responsibility. No one is forcing you to watch the gay man give Satan a lap dance, nor are they forcing you to buy his shoes. No one will ever force you into that - you, a consenting adult/teenager, willingly watched it. You’re reading this now of your own choice. If your child is watching MONTERO, you should blame yourself if you’re mad - why didn’t you monitor them better? Teach them to avoid things they don’t recognize online? You failed as a parent to protect your child from what you deem harmful. That isn’t anyone’s fault except your own as their active guardian.

Sex, talking about sex, grinding, lap dances....those aren’t new to music videos. They’ve been happening for decades, actually - early 90’s and 2000’s videos had a lot, and I think some 80’s had them. MONTERO didn’t invent NSFW music videos, the only difference is it’s gay and dared to use religious imagery ( which also isn’t new, but that’s another rant I don’t want to get into ). For once, I actually agree with the masses - this outrage was mostly fueled by homophobia and dumb Christians. And to any Christians reading this ( that didn’t get offended, because if you got genuinely upset by this drama, fuck you ); you’re cool.

Anyways, yeah. I think MONTERO was awesome, LNX killed it as always, and I hate conservatives. Goodnight.

#lil nas x #lnx #I sound like an sjw #but in a good way #might burn down a church later idk #Davey sleepy rants

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thedelusionreaderbitch · 3 years

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Kaz Brekker/Platonic! Crows x fem! Reader - Silence

A/n: So I know I haven't been very active lately but hopefully that will change! Also I don't really love this fic it's not very good and I might rewrite it in the future but for now, you guys can enjoy this shit!!!

Warnings: Abuse, sexual abuse, rape, violence, mentions of death, technically mentions of suicide, THIS FIC IS A MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING!!!!

Summary: They used to be happy. That’s what Jesper says anyways about his sister. When he’s asked where it all went wrong it’s usually responded with an I have no idea. When Kaz comes to confront them in front of the Crows why you came back all bloodied and carrying back a body, they know this isn’t going to end well…

Death clung to you. That's what people muttered in the streets of Ketterdam, 'if the Blackbird is on a strike don't go outside for a week and remember, pray to the saint who wears the most colour.'

Great bedtime stories for children.

Your legend would never end, though it must have begun somewhere. Someone who you decided could witness one of your killings must have made up a story. Started it up and told it in fright to someone and the people not believing a word they say. Before their dead of course. And then it spreads like the plague.

The Blackbird was once a hopeful girl, full of dreams and happiness. She had beautiful feathers of all different kinds of colours, and they sang to the heavens and it was as if she was a child of the saints. Then one day - the bird that brought kindness and sunshine to everyone's lives fell into a trap.

There was a hyena that people all thought was bad news but she thought she could help him become a better person.

The little birdy was wrong.

He hurt the bird of colours so badly that one day he burned her feathers and they became pitch black. The hyena thought that he had won at last and had gotten power over the bird.

It was said that she ran and escaped the terrible beast that day. And because he had changed her to the very soul she wasn't the same anymore, no. She was only used for revenge, and it was said she turned her backs on the saints for not saving her. When the saints did decide to intervene the little bird was shattered and could no longer sing. Her voice reduced to a vengeful whip, it was no longer beautiful but fearsome.

It was said that on that night the Blackbird used her wings on Ketterdam so she could cover the sky in darkness so the stars in the sky, the only things the saints could use to watch over mankind was blindfolded in a merciless fog.

And there the Blackbird was born.

Maybe death clung to you, but not the same way that trauma and the cruelness of the world does.

And that's a fate worse than death.

You remember strike one, you and Jesper were kids - happy kids. And the neighbour's son of was considerably older than both of you offered to babysit the one time your Da, and Ma was out.

Jesper was playing in the back, perhaps practicing shooting so he could impress your Mum but you stayed inside saying something along the lines that you wanted to cook some cookies for Dad.

How you wished you hadn't.

That teenage boy had put his filthy little hands on you. He left you in the kitchen tears running down your face and bile that you had to force back down your throat.

Your mother had found you like that and she instantly knew what had happened and she made everything much more bearable. When you had nightmares you would get up and knock on her door quietly enough for her just to hear and because your Ma was a light sleeper but your Da was not, she would get up and see you alright.

The poor woman never told her husband because you had pleaded with her not to. She always did blame herself and she made sure the boy never came around again but she did thank the saints that he didn't go all the way.

She wasn't sunshine, (she always said that was you!) No, she was the faint moonlight in the distance that helped guide you on your way home.

Then she died.

Strike two, was your mother dying. You remember that day where she went to take the poison out of that child and when she did she sucked it back into herself. In your arms was the last place your Ma took her last breath.

That was the day the world had lost its guide home and it always seemed to be in peril after that.

Strike three came almost immediately after strike two. Your father wouldn't talk to you. You became a ghost in your own house, you understood your father though,

she did die in your arms.

Jesper was the only one that didn't make strike three the last strike where the rope was at its point and snapped. He was your armour against the world, with his funny quirks and quips. He was the older brother you needed in those moments.

But armour slowly breaks over time and your dear brother wasn't getting enough out of life at the farm. So when your Father sent Jesper to Ketterdam you went right with him.

You attended college for a bit but eventually, your armour had finally left you. It broke under the stress of everything in his life that he couldn't keep up with yours.

So you meant him.

He was kind but knew when the world was being too cruel. He was wealthy, but not rich. He was sweet, but not puke up rainbows kind of way. He knew you like the back of his hand and always knew how to comfort you. Jesper had actually meant him once before he got too busy with the Dregs and said maybe he knew you too well.

You yelled at him at the time and said that was absurd! He would never do anything to hurt you!

Strike four was falling under his spell.

Strike five was when he told you terrible things about yourself and you thought he was always right. He could do no wrong in your eyes.

Strike six was when he finally started beating you and you had just expected it at this point.

Strike seven was when you weren't allowed to go to school anymore.

Strike eight was when he wouldn't let you see anyone, not even your brother. But you never questioned it, he was basically a saint to you, why would you? Besides Jesper never seemed to have time for you anyways.

Strike nine was when he cheated on you and told you you had to be better.

Strike ten was when he started raping you.

Then one day he was worse than usual and you grabbed the hot poker from the fire pit, that he had used to beat you before, and you had told him to stay away.

Then you ran.

It was the straw the broke the camel's back, it was the saints giving up on him or maybe it was the saints giving up on you.

You didn't care, you were free.

You made one promise that day, that you would never love again.

You learned quickly what Ketterdam was like even before you had meant him, so perhaps that was why it was so easy to become the Blackbird. The girl who never smiled, the girl who only lived only for revenge. The monster that will wipe your existence off of the earth like it was nothing. The ghost that will haunt you when your sins line up too high.

Eventually, you joined the dregs and you connected with your brother once again and he knew something was wrong the moment he felt your presence. He didn't believe you were the Blackbird, the girl who terrorized the streets of Ketterdam.

But he learned to accept it, they all did except for that blasted Brekker boy.

With your time in the Dregs, you had slowly begun to form something with Kaz but you quickly remembered your promise to yourself and you let him go.

Although you don't like to admit it, the Crows had become your friends - family even. You would do anything to protect them even though it didn't seem like it. You were you though, and that was being afraid to even semi-connect with them. Of course, you were, because you were growing a bit too fond of Kaz Brekker and last time that lead you to a fate worse than death.

So you distanced yourself for a while to recollect your thoughts and if you really wanted to stay with them. Did they ever manipulate you? No. Then you came back and you stayed, maybe you weren't the perfect friend or a very good one at all but the Crows knew you even considering to stay was a blessing all in itself.

They were always so patient with you even Kaz, especially Kaz, and you never gave anything in return to them. Guilt would often cloud your mind when you were near them but they were always so amazing something you could never be.

But one day they came to their breaking point.

Killing people wasn't anything new for them, much less you killing people but coming back with a bloodied body and losing contact with them for weeks was probably not the same as just 'killing.'

Jesper pulls you by your bicep into Kaz's office with the other Crows following behind. You stumble in as Kaz slams the door shut being the last one in the room. They stare at you with beady eyes almost like the ones on the infamous birds around the Slat.

"What the fuck Y/n!" Jesper finally yells. Everyone around doesn't even bother to tell him to lower his voice their faces held the same anger that Jes's did.

Silence drowns you in its ocean keeping you in its waters. A chain is wrapped around your throat as you sink deeper and deeper into its depths. You try and swim away, run like you always had before, but the weight around your neck is too heavy, too dense and it slowly drowns you.

You just shrugged your shoulders. How could you explain all that you went through? Why would you want to?

"We can't just brush this off Y/n, we always do, but you crossed a line," Wylan states calmly but firmly at the same time putting a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder trying to ease the tension in the room.

You laugh, you hadn't even been walking a line at all. No, you had been jumping from rooftop to rooftop as they created a chalk line at how far you could go. Balling your hands into fits you snarl, they have been keeping you back. Maybe it's a good thing but you didn't want to admit it.

What about Kaz? A voice whispers in the back of your head.

Your eyes travel to his form in the back. He's leaning on the wall slightly but also using his cane to make himself look up-right. The darkness in the back compliments his angular features making them stand out as if saying he was above you. And to most people he probably was and he deserved that position.

But it didn't matter to you, he was just Kaz to you. Even if you saw him as someone... Important in your life, nevertheless he didn't matter. He was just another powerful man drawing a line that you couldn't cross as the line became smaller and smaller till you were trapped against a wall with nowhere to go.

When you first became the Blackbird, you climbed up that wall, you knew what was going to happen next. And you would never let anyone do that to you again.

"If you think I crossed the 'line' then your wrong." Your voice started out light-hearted (never does a fake smile crawl on your face though) but slowly became menacing and terrifying.

You spin of your heels turning to Jesper. "You've kept me in a cage giving me freedom but always locking me back up in the night."

You turn to Wylan and you mock his voice from earlier. "It was only a matter of time before I would break out." Your eyes lock onto Kaz's and your voice softens while you look at him.

"You knew it was going to happen sooner rather than later. A bird needs to stretch its wings somehow."

"That doesn't mean you get to cut off communication with us for weeks than bringing in a body all bloodied. What you said before doesn't even explain why you did that Y/n," Inej says quietly.

You growl and the people closest to you jump back a little.

"Oh, what are you going to do, kick me out? Half of your businesses wouldn't have even succeeded without me!"

Jesper balls his hands into fists. "Gee for fuck's sake Y/n would just tell us!"

"HE'S THE REASON I'M A MONSTER!"

Your shout makes everyone freeze in their place and there it is again. The overbearing silence that takes over everything with its darkness. Running threw out the room, swirling around you and making it impossible for you to even hear anything other than your own terrible thoughts of madness.

But one voice isn't in your head of that hyena howling at you no, it's real and you can hear it among the darkness. You close your eyes listening in and hearing something other than darkness.

"Y/n." Your eyes snap open and you meet Kaz's eyes and you feel something dangerously close to relief.

"Everyone else out."

The Crows file out of the room one by one following Kaz's order. Everyone leaves but Jesper hesitates at the door and you see your broken armour trying to come back to you again and although it's harsh he wasn't there when he should have been. You understood that he had other problems he needed to sort out but you were his little sister.

You were supposed to stick up for each other.

"Out." Your voice would sound cold to anyone else but to Jesper, it sounds tired and unhappy. Lonely also however it has a hit of love and revenge as well.

The taller brother just sighs though and close's the door.

Kaz's eyes meet yours and your hands start to fidget with the cuffs of your bloodied shirt.

He doesn't say anything, he just stares at you. Willing you to spill information with just a glance. Any God would fall prey to those eyes and they would disclose all their knowledge while also thanking him in the end.

Kaz Brekker had something more powerful than Godly power over you.

So you couldn't help but tell him the real more dark story behind the Blackbird, he had already told you his so maybe, just maybe you could trust him.

"Do you know the Story of the Blackbird?" Your voice rings out against the muteness of the room fighting against it for once in your miserable life.

Kaz nods his head showing you that he knew. Of course, he knew it, was Brekker he probably knows every single version by heart.

"And I assume you know it's about me?"

Rolling his eyes but nodding once again.

You hesitate, knowing that after this you couldn't go back. That these next few words could change everything and why are you even telling this to the bastard of the barrel?

Because you love him.

It's simple and you promised yourself you would never love again but possibly that promise wasn't real because perhaps you never really loved that hyena. Some form of peace has definitely come from killing him, but maybe there's more to moving on from trauma than just revenge.

So with those thoughts in mind, the words tumble out of your mouth and you wouldn't be able to stop them even if you tried.

"Around the time where Jesper was just starting in the Dregs I had gotten a boyfriend. He was... Well, he was the perfect boyfriend but looking back he was too perfect. Basically fake, he was a manipulator and he knew me like the back of his hand. He knew where to press and I was under the impression that he could do nothing wrong." You pause to take a breath but you don't look up from your spot on the floor.

"It started with the small things like little insults thrown my way, but then it grew into bigger things like calling me a slut and what not. I wasn't even surprised when he started beating me."

Your eyes slowly come off the floor and they travel up Kaz's body but never meeting his eyes. You didn't want to see the disappointment that would be held in those eyes. That was inevitable.

"Then every day it started to get worse till he-" You cut yourself off and your legs wobble underneath you and as you collapsed Kaz jetted out and caught you before you could fall.

Tears were running down your face as you gripped Kaz's shirt as he picked you up bridal style and carried you over to the bed. He place's you down and slides in beside you yet there was a good distance between the two of you. But it still gave you comfort and for the first time in a while, you didn't question why it did, you just went with it already knowing the reason why.

You loved him it was as simple as that.

"Then he-" You choked on a sob again and you bring your knees to your chest.

"You don't have to say it." He says gently nothing like what that hyena used to do to you.

"Noah used to rape me." The words come out in a blur and the tight feeling in your chest slowly falls apart and for the first time in a while, you truly feel like a Blackbird - free. Stuttering to breathe in a realization comes to your mind; Noah that monster will never hurt you ever again.

"Oh, my Saints! He's dead!" You cover your mouth with your hand and you lean back onto the headboard tears of happiness smear down your face. You don't laugh though but you feel even clearer than before. You could get used to this feeling.

Slowly you look over to Kaz and you realize the two of you were broken souls beyond repair and maybe just maybe that's what you needed. Perhaps that's what you both need, each other.

"Thank you." You whisper and the ends of Kaz's mouth curl's up a bit into what looks like is almost a smile but not quite. You would get there too one day.

===========TIME SKIP 4 Months======================

You jump from the rooftop gliding through the air and landing on the window sill of Kaz's office. You tilt your head to the side affectionately as you see The Crows getting ready for a heist only they're really just fooling around. Everyone but Kaz of course, he's in his desk chair drawing out some maps.

And they tell you you overwork! Hypocrites.

You open the window silently and you slip into the room unnoticed. You tiptoe over to Kaz's desk and you leap on top.

Kaz raises his eyebrow at you and you just shrug your shoulders, he probably had to stop anyways.

"You know there are other ways to get my attention other than acting like a child?"

"Oh, I know this is just more effective." You playfully respond.

Before Kaz could continue with the banter Jesper interject's just realizing you were here grabbing everyone's attention and placing it on you. Still not a fan of that.

"How the hell did you get from that rooftop to that window!" Jesper points outside in a slightly worried, big brother voice.

So you look him dead in the eyes and say; "I flew."

Jesper laughs along with the rest of The Crows but they stop at your deadpan look on your face.

"You didn't really?!"

"No, I didn't." You roll your eyes, "I didn't even think you knew that I did that."

Jesper comes over and wraps an arm around your shoulders and you immediately tense up.

"I do know some tricks! I am your older brother after all." His tone does get a few octaves of sombre at the end remembering the memories of how he didn't protect you before. But he's here now so you guess that's all matter's now.

You scoot off the desk out of his arm range but you do send him a sorry glance. The memories were just too much to handle sometimes. He just sends me a tiny knowing smile and nods and walk's off quietly (for the first time in his life) over to Wylan.

You watch everyone interact and it almost brings a smile to your face but something is missing and you wonder what it is.

Your question is quickly answered though as Kaz stands up beside you. His ungloved hand slowly garb's onto yours's and slowly you intertwine your fingers together.

"You really are the leader of a bunch of idiots." You say as Nina dares your brother to down a whole bucket paint.

"Yes, that's what it seems."

"But we love them." And for the first time in a while, you smile and it's not full-blown, it's tiny yet it has the whole galaxy in there.

"Yes, Yes I do." But Kaz isn't looking at The Crows he's looking at you.

Words 3517

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover

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thejustmaiden · 3 years

Text

So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

#anti yashahime #anti sessrin #sesshomaru is rin's dad #papamaru #hogosha 💖#the sequel may not be canon but sunrise can still burn in hell

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crescentsteel · 3 years

Text

Keeping a Secret - Part 2

pairing: Tsukishima x f!manager of Sendai Frogs genre: sexual tension/crack/fluff/slow burn warnings: lots of swear words, tsukki being a a closet softie wc: 6k (lol no chill as always)

[a/n]

Sorry for the delayed update. I added almost 1k words just to solidify the characters to give depth even more to the story. Feel free to reread. (It's totally not because I started a different series altogether.)

When I say this is slow burn, I meant sloooooooowww burn.

Let me know if you want to be part of the taglist. :)

AO3

Part 1 || Part 3 || masterlist

What were you even thinking? Actually, why weren’t you? Had you used at least two brain cells of yours, you wouldn’t have momentarily lost your mind and kissed Tsukishima. You could’ve justified your actions if you were drunk, but you ingested not even an ounce of alcohol that night.

History will remember yesterday as the day a a sober you and a very displeased Tsukishima who found yourselves smooching publicly in the middle of a club. You’re just glad that no other member of the team goes to the same university you both go to. Else, you'd run the risk of getting seen.

Were so touch-deprived that you couldn’t resist even Tsukishima? And what about him? Why did he get along with it? You don’t think he actually hates you. Hate is such a strong word. He just exceedingly dislikes you. So why would he make out with you? Maybe he thought of it as a way of finally standing up to you?

Ugh.

You’re thankful that you didn’t have training yesterday. You were a mess the whole day trying to make sense of what happened. Not that you’re any better today; you’re still baffled as fuck. But you’re glad you had that day off so you wouldn’t have to face him immediately.

For the first time ever, you’re dreading going to the gym. Even if you’re tired or you lack sleep, you’ve never felt distressed as the manager of the Sendai Frogs. All this because of Tsukishima. But can you really put the blame on him when it was you who initiated it?

“Good morning, y/n,” Eiji, the captain of the team greets you.

“Morning, Eiji,” you say back. Even though he’s older than you, you dropped the salutations already, same with everybody else.

“You okay?” he asks worriedly.

“Oh! Yeah, absolutely! When am I ever not okay?” You toughen it up and erase the troublesome kiss in your head. You are their ever shining manager, first and foremost. Anything outside of that has no place in this gym.

“Never. It’s almost scary actually,” he answers with jest.

“Right? ‘Cause I’m a freaking goddess.”

He gives you a noble bow. “Indeed, you are, my lady.”

You giggle softly. Your players really are the best on and off the court (except for Tsukishima). “Go do your drills instead of buttering me up, ‘captain.’” He gives you a mock salute then jogs off towards the net.

“Y/n!”

You saunter off to your coach after you were called. “Yes, Coach?”

“Can you help tape the blockers?” You nod willingly, quickly discarding unnecessary thoughts of Tsukishima.

“Tsukishima’s free. Go start with him.”

You almost flinch upon hearing his name.

‘Great,’ you groan internally as you get the wrap from your kit and drag your feet toward the source of your uneasiness. But what did you expect? Of course, you’d have to deal with him sooner or later.

“Morning, Tsukishima,” you greet him with forced normalcy, acting like nothing’s wrong. As you take his left hand and you’re instantly reminded of what happened the other night -- how this hand gripped your waist while his mouth moved against yours… how his skin felt against the palm of your hand as he towered over you, body against body in a dance so dangerous and so hypnotizing that you lost yourself in the moment.

You tried your best to calm down yesterday, but seeing him right now makes you want to smack yourself from your momentary insanity that led you to kiss him.

Instead, you give him the nicest, brightest smile to channel your frustrations as you start taping his fingers. You just hope and pray that he doesn’t bring it up.

“Morning, manager .” It was an indirect jab at you. Even when he says it with a dead tone, you know he’s taunting you by addressing you as manager - a tortuous reminder that what happened last Saturday night wasn’t forgotten.

Instead of yielding to the provocation, you respond with your own. You might have messed up, but you’re not letting him get the upper hand. “How was your weekend, Tsukki?”

“Horrible,” he quickly answers without even thinking.

“Ditto. What happened to yours?” you ask with fake curiosity, already knowing why. Even if you didn’t kiss him then, he was already acting up like an angsty teen forced by his mom to attend a children’s party within the neighborhood.

“Went to a disgusting party.”

You nod pretentiously. “Mine’s horrible too. I got g-”

“I didn’t ask,” he interrupts.

“Well, you’re still going to hear it,” you respond just as distastefully as he cut you off. “I got groped by some perv, but I kinda punched some good manners unto him.” You release his left hand and take his right one to tape it as well.

“And?” He asks.

You shrug your shoulders. “That’s it. After that, I just went home from how horrible the experience was.”

You look up to him, meeting his sardonic gaze paired with a raised eyebrow from what you just said. You know that he understood that you were referring to something else other than the perv incident as horrible.

“How about you? What happened to that disgusting party of yours?” you press on.

“I bumped into someone I didn’t really want to see.”

“And?”

“Do you really wanna know how horrible it was for me?” A smirk creeps up on the corner of his mouth as he asks. There were many times before that you’ve wanted a taste of Tsukishima’s vile sarcasm, just to know what he’d say to you. Today is not one of those times. You don’t want him using that reckless kiss against you.

“Actually, no. I don’t really care.” You let go of his hand you just finished working with and look around to look for anyone you could use as a distraction from Tsukishima’s attempt to retell the kiss from his perspective.

“Kogane!” you brightly call the setter as you bounce cheerfully towards him.

Even if you don’t show it, Tsukishima knows he’s gotten under your previously impenetrable thick skin. He detests what happened last Saturday. The more he remembers it, the more he abhors it. The only reason he’s not totally hating himself for getting swept along with your shit is because he knows you hated it too, probably more than he does since it was you who kissed him first.

His smug grin only spreads when you march to Kogane with that cutesy act you only show to players from opposing teams to unsettle them before matches. You take both Kogane’s hands and beam at him. “Do you want me to tape your fingers?”

“Y-you don’t have to, y/n. I can do it myself!” Kogane blurts out, panicking at your sudden closeness and physical touch.

“But I love taking care of you guys,” you pout at Kogane, which only makes the setter blush a shade almost close to red.

Tsukishima follows you to help his babbling, flustered teammate.

“You’re going to kill him, y/n,” he says as he passes by you and Kogane who now looks like he stopped functioning.

You blink at Kogane, realizing what you’re doing to the poor guy.

You must have been really bothered by Tsukishima and unknowingly projected it to someone else.

Tsukishima sneers as he sees you try to ease Kogane from his severe fluster but only make it worse by rubbing his shoulders.

A dash of pride and satisfaction swells on Tsukishima’s chest as he watches you get agitated with the situation you, yourself caused. Getting back at you feels even better than he imagined it would be.

Even though you and Tsukishima are in the same class, you don’t really notice his presence. Sometimes you’d even forget you’re classmates. Now, though, you are more aware of the fact that he’s actually there than you ever have.

“Alright, class. For your main project this semester, I’m going to have you partnered up. You need to come up with a comprehensive report on mating behavior of reptiles. I’ll randomly generate your assigned reptile.”

You groan. Another collaborative work in the same subject. You don’t like working with others because you don’t want to adapt to anyone’s schedule. You like to get things done ahead of time. You hate procrastinating because you don’t want your uni requirements getting mixed up with potential tasks from your managerial job, especially whenever tournament seasons come.

The last collaborative work you worked on is a group project where you did most of the work yourself. You wouldn’t have minded if you didn’t have fucking freeloaders as groupmates. The little shits made you do 90% of the project because you wanted it done early.

You just pray that this time, you get to be paired with someone responsible. You tap your pen on your desk while you wait for your name to be called.

“L/n and Tsukishima.”

You drop your pen at your professor’s announcement. It bounces twice on your desk before rolling to the floor, but you don’t move to pick it up. Your gaze immediately flies to where Tsukishima is seated and find him glaring at you already. You almost want to laugh at how ridiculous this entire situation is.

Seriously? Were you a serial killer in your previous life or something? Did some higher power decide to punish you for your grave sins like this?

Whatever. You’re not having any of this shit.

You wait until the class is over and approach your professor. “Sir. I’d like to do this project alone.” Or at least with someone else.

He continues to type something on his laptop, not bothering to look up at you, as he asks, “Why is that?”

“I just feel more comfortable doing things on my own, Sir. Please.” You try to give him your nice student smile but his eyes don't leave his screen.

“Then what? Have you increase my workload?”

Shit. You forgot that this particular professor of yours is known to not budge to anyone. You scramble your brain for another excuse.

“Sir. Can I do this project alone?” you suddenly hear Tsukihima’s voice behind you.

Finally, your professor closes his laptop and eyes you two unenthusiastically. “My answer is no to miss Y/n, so my answer to you, Mr. Tsukishima, is also no. I don’t know what the deal is between you two, but you’re doing this together.”

You can’t help but scowl despite being right in front of your professor. If it wasn’t for that darn kiss, you would’ve loved working with Tsukishima. Even though you don’t have the same classes, his schedule won’t be that hard to match up with because you two have the same training days. Secondly, he’s smart. You won’t have to carry the whole weight of the project.

“You know what, I’ll reconsider.” A glimmer of hope lights up in your chest as you hear your professor’s words. “I’ll allow you two to work individually — but with an automatic ten point deduction for this project.”

“No,” you and Tsukishima respond at the same time.

“Great! You’re already getting along swimmingly.” Your professor picks up his stuff and stands up. “Enjoy,” he waves a dismissive goodbye and leaves.

You slowly turn around to face Tsukishima and find that you share the same lour that he has. You cross your arms and lean on your professor’s desk. “Guess we’re together, Tsukishima.”

You allowed yourself one week to compose yourself before you agreed to start the project with Tsukishima. You still saw him at training days, and even then, you tried to have the least amount of interaction with him so the ‘incident’ wouldn’t be brought up again. Meeting him for a project where it’s just you two is different and you needed time.

As much as you don’t want to be with him, you told yourself that it’ll be over soon. You just pushed the kiss in the back of your head and convinced yourself that it was just a stupid kiss. It didn’t mean anything. He probably just went along with it out of spite, so it’s best you think of it as a spur of the moment madness. That way, you won’t be bothered if he sordidly brings it up again. At least now, you can go back to your usual, cheeky self around him.

You’re about to text Tsukishima that you’ve arrived at the station you agreed to meet up at but you already see him there standing while he’s scrolling his phone with his usual white headphones on.

Unfortunately for you and him, the reptile assigned to you two are crocodiles. It’s the worst possible assignment you could get among the roster of reptiles assigned. You need to travel all the way to Wakabayashi for a legitimate crocodile farm to observe, compared to other reptiles which are easily accessible with nearby zoos in Miyagi. You just pray that you’ll only need this one trip to get all the data you need for your report.

You walk towards him and instantly regard how he looks. Despite being in the same university, you don’t see him around much. Even in your sole class together, you’re seated way too apart from each other to even look at each other’s direction. Not that being seated beside each other would’ve made a difference. You’re not friends. There’s no need to talk to him since everything that’s volleyball-related is relayed through line. To you, he’s just one of your players. As far as you’re concerned, the only Tsukishima you’re aware of is the one sweating his white shirt and training shorts during practice.

To have this much involvement with him outside the gym is throwing you out of your usual loop. You continue studying him at a distance. Today he’s wearing white plaid pants, black turtleneck (probably long sleeves) with a lighter shade of black coat on top, and a brown wool scarf. He also has a gray bonnet that makes his blonde locks frame his face nicely.

What the heck? Did he always dress like this even in class? How come you never noticed?

He finally notices you. He puts down his phone and removes his headphones. “How long have you been there?”

“Wow, Tsukishima. You look kinda hot,” you blurt out without thinking.

His eyes expand at your statement that came out of nowhere. “Huh?!”

“Oh, sorry. That must’ve been random. But you look really good though. I kinda feel like I’m meeting a date,” you say with objective candor as you continue to stare at him.

That catches him completely off guard. The other day you’re on the edge around him. You weren’t even paying much attention to him during training, but now you’re back to being a headache whose mouth knows no bounds as you faze him with your unfiltered thoughts. Now, it’s him who is uncomfortable again with your thorough eyes scanning him approvingly.

“As if I’d ever date you,” he snaps back at your remark to which you scoff at.

“I didn’t say you would. Maybe you’re forgetting, I’d never go out with a member of the team.”

“Right. But kissing one is totally fine, huh?” he retaliates in an instant with a condescending look. He waits for your reaction, eager to see you distraught and bothered by it. To his dissatisfaction, you don’t behave in such a way. Instead, you sigh defeatedly.

“Yeah. Sorry about that. I got a little crazy that night,” you say casually to a degree that you sounded like it was just a petty accident. “You kissed me back, so I’m sure you were too. Right?”

The last word is conniving, and he can tell why you phrased it that way. You’re leaving him no choice but to disregard what happened or else it’s going to seem like it meant something to him. The hell it does. It simply resurfaces back on his mind sometimes because of how unpleasant the memory is.

‘Devious woman,’ he snarls in his head.

It should be okay. Your reason for what you did can also be his excuse for how responded to it. What he didn’t like is that he hasn’t even managed to make the most out of that incident, while you immediately found a way to undo the grave you dug for him to bury you into.

Plus, the only advantage he sees out of partnering with you for this project is the possibility of being able to pester you the way you pester him during practice. Obviously, that’s already thrown off the window. Now, there’s nothing in it for him for the duration of the project. He is left with nothing but the fact that he has to endure your company. To think that he’s already so miserable when this afternoon has barely even started.

“Yeah,” he answers with contained resentment. “Can we go on the bus now?” He asks to deviate away from the topic already. He was hoping he could still use the incident to unnerve you, but it’s for naught now.

He enters the bus first and assumes you’ll follow him, which you do as you take your seat beside him. You get your shoulder bag and take out a notebook.

“Can you take a look at this outline I made for our report?” you ask while you hand him your notebook opened at a certain page.

“I can’t read while the bus is moving,” he says then waits for a lame comeback from you. But you don’t comment about it. Why must you keep on being such a wildcard?

“Ah, okay. I’ll just tell it to you then,” you smile at him. “This trip is going to take long. It’d be a waste of time to not make use of it, right?”

He groans internally. Why must you be right all the fucking time?

He also made an outline last night, but he didn’t tell you because he thought it’d be better if he just did the data-gathering himself and let you take the pictures the report should have. He forgot that you’re not as irresponsible and carefree as you present yourself to be.

He listens to you explain your outline, looking for flaws in it for the sake of his grade and also for his self-satisfaction. And he does find a few.

“You should have separate discussion points for mating characteristics for male and females. I’m sure they have distinct traits. Also, I think we should include more than just one species, preferably three if the farm has it.” He continues, “Maybe we can note certain unique behaviors per species. It would be inconclusive, but it would still be nice to include it as a commentary.”

He hopes to extract even just a tiny hint of embarrassment from you for he’s thought of it better than you did. But you just stare at him for a good few seconds before you break into a dazzled smile.

“Oh my God. Yeah, you’re absolutely right!”

You open your notebook and scribble the changes in your drafted outline. “Is there anything else?” You consult him genuinely. You accept his criticisms with an open mind, which vexes him even more.

“Nothing,” he grumbles.

“Alright. Let’s just revise it again once we see what’s on the farm.”

He doesn’t bother replying anymore since you’re once again right.

He puts on his headphones again to drown out whatever chatter you plan to have with him since you’re done discussing the project for now. Instead of bugging him, you take out a bunch of readings and focus on them intently, completely ignoring him.

With nothing to entertain him aside from the music on his ears, his peripheral keeps going back to you and how hard you’re concentrating with the papers in your one hand and a pen in the other.

He removes one muff of his headphone from his ear and asks you, “Don’t you get motion sickness?”

You really must be into what you’re studying because you flinch when he speaks, causing you to drop your pen.

He feels responsible for it so he leans down to pick it up, but you also do the same. As you both reach down to grab your pen, your temple collides with his.

“Ow,” your fingers go to massage the spot, failing to notice as he does that your faces are too close for comfort. He watches you wince for a quick while before looking at him, finally realizing that he’s within a proximity familiar to you both.

It’s reminiscent of that night except this time, the natural light affirms that it wasn’t just the ambiance of the club that made you attractive enough to pull him in and share that heinous kiss. With your well-lit features, he can see that you’re thinking about the same thing he is.

Your eyes fall on his lips and for some illogical reason, he does the same.

Like last time, you’re the first to act on it. The major difference is, instead of leaning in, you retreat. You sit up straight with your fingers still on the side of your head and smile graciously at him. “It’s fine, Tsukishima. I’ll get it,” you say, which he finds half-witted because he’s still bent down and he can already grasp the pen.

He sits back up and hands you your pen. You use the hand on your temple to get it.

“Oh, thanks.” You stare at the pen for a second, then tuck it in your pocket. “Anyways, yeah. I don’t have problems reading in a moving vehicle.”

You dive back to his question and disregard what just happened. It works for him. He’d rather not think about it as well.

“Have you not seen me scrambling paperwork on our bus rides to and from tournaments?”

“No.” He prefers not to pay attention to you. Hell, he pretends you don’t exist when he can. So naturally, he doesn’t know what it is you do when you’re not being your pestering self. It pains him to admit it, but you do get shit done -- efficiently, too. He should be glad because at least, you won’t be like his previous groupmates.

Still, just you being … you, ticks him off.

You laugh out of nowhere. “For someone who doesn’t speak much, you’re so fucking transparent.”

He frowns, not being able to grasp what you meant.

“Okay, look. I like pissing you off. I really do. And you, you don’t like me a lot. But for this project. Can we pretend that I’m not your annoying manager and you’re not the nasty Tsukishima I know?”

“How the fuck can I do that when we see each other almost everyday as such?”

You roll your eyes and smirk. “Right. What was I even thinking? Go ahead and be emo with your music over there while I study here, yeah?” You pat him on the shoulders twice with that patronizing grin you always give him before pulling your pen back from your pocket and focusing once more on your readings, completely paying no attention to him for the rest of the trip.

—

As soon as you reach the crocodile farm, Tsukishima suggests that you two roam the area separately to cover more ground. In reality, he just wanted to get rid of you even for just a few minutes. He needed a break from you.

He does so by taking his time strolling around the place, observing how the area is situated. It looks like a park with its vast lush green environment and man-made waters to habituate the crocodiles. There are four main areas: the museum, the hatchling house, the zoo, and the breeding pens. He first goes to the museum, looking at the skeletal structure of some crocodiles. It isn’t really significant to the project but he can’t help admire it.

When he realizes that he’s taking longer than he initially thought, he starts looking for you. He sends you a text, but you don’t reply. You had gone to the zoo’s direction so he assumes you’re somewhere around that area.

When he does find you, you’re not alone.

There you are near a crocodile pen, getting friendly with a guy he’s sure you just met.

It’s so familiar. The only difference is that you’re not wearing the Frogs’ jacket and you’re not in the Sendai gymnasium. He walks towards your direction, not caring if he’s going to cut off your little chat. You’re there for the project, not to snag some random bozo.

As he closes in behind you, he hears your conversation.

“Actually, birds are more closely related to dinosaurs than crocodiles. You couldn’t tell, right?” you explain with zeal.

Tsukishima stops in his tracks at the foreign feeling in his chest. Wait a minute. Is he actually impressed? Moreover, what the heck is he impressed for? You should know that. You are both in a higher herpetology class. Even though it hasn’t been discussed during lectures, it’s natural that you know that. However, the guy you’re talking with isn't as enthusiastic.

“Can’t blame you though. Crocs and dinos share the same sexy vibe with those chill eyes and scaly skin. Also, look at those smokin webbed feet. Fucking work of art, dude. You feel me?” you press on fanatically.

The stranger looks at you with a forced smile, obviously weirded out by your ‘passionate’ description of the reptile. “Yeah, sure. I have to go now. Bye,” the guy bows and storms away from you.

You turn your attention back to the lowered pen in front of you with a satisfied smile and shudder when you see Tsukishima already there beside you.

“Gah! You scared me. Why didn’t you say anything?” you ask with your hand still on your chest.

“I didn’t want to interrupt you creeping out that stranger.”

You tither at his answer. “Glad you didn’t. It was fun seeing him all freaked out.”

He finds it weird. He thought you just had an aversion towards athletes. That’s why you keep driving away anyone who’d approach you during matches. Apparently, that’s not the case.

“He looked like he’d follow you back to Miyagi if you didn’t go all freaky nerdy on him.”

You jeer at his comment. “He could follow me to the ends of the Earth and I still wouldn’t give him my number. I’d rather date Mr. Crocodylus siamensis over here than boring dum dums blinded by how hot I am.”

“Then why do you entertain them?” he follows up.

“Caaaauuusse it’s fun to see them squirm,” you declare cheerfully as you veer your gaze at him. “Why the sudden interest with the way I handle men, Tsukishima?”

You raise an eyebrow, the corner of your lips tugging up to form a playful smirk. “Don’t tell me you suddenly find me interesting?”

You really do know how to push the right buttons to provoke him. He grits his teeth from your audacity.

“I’m joking for fuck’s sake! My god. I already know that even if it’s just the two of us on this planet, and we’d have to procreate to restart the world population, you’d rather choose to doom humanity than have anything to do with me.”

Among all the correct things that came out of your mouth, that was the only thing he could verbally agree with. “Good you know,” he retorts.

You don’t seem to take offense though. You still keep your unwavering smile as you get your phone out and take a picture of the Borneo crocodile.

“Should we go see the breeding pens now?” you ask nonchalantly, dismissing the previous conversation like it was nothing.

You both decide to hire a designated tour guide to assist you while you observe the crocodiles, particularly the ones for breeding.

“Hi, Ms. l/n. I’m Sara and I will be your guide for today,” she introduced herself with a dedicated smile.

“I’m so thrilled that you and your boyfriend decided to learn more about crocodiles for your date,” she adds.

You and Tsukishima glance at each other before turning back to her.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” “He’s not my boyfriend.”

You both say simultaneously, except yours sounded like a friendly correction while his sounded like a dead announcement.

“We’re just classmates for a project,” you correct her.

She bows apologetically with embarrassment and worry. “I’m so sorry for assuming that.”

“No worries, Sara,” you reassure her before Tsukishima says something unnecessary. “Can you lead us on the breeding pens? We’d like to observe the whole thing.”

“Of course. Right this way.”

Aside from the mishap earlier, you find Sara competent at her job as she fills you in with details not included in the sign boards in the pens. She gives you information about the mating process that you didn’t find when you researched about the subject. You assume Tsukishima’s thinking the same because he doesn’t say anything out of the blue.

“By any chance, will we see a pair mating today?” he asks after a while.

“I’m not really sure, Mr. Tsukishima. It’s really up to the animals.”

You tug on Tsukishima’s sleeve when you catch sight of one crocodile latching himself on top of another.

“What?” he asks irritatedly, but follows your line of sight.

“Oh, lucky. There you go.” Sara announces with a pleasant smile.

You get your phone and your notes. You multitask listening to Sara, taking photos, and scribbling notes on your paper pad.

On the other hand, Tsukishima multitasks observing the crocodiles in action and observing you.

You’re asking important questions to the guide while juggling other tasks. Yes, he doesn’t like you and loathes being partnered with you. However, that doesn't mean he won’t cooperate with you. He won’t mind if you ask him for help, but you seem to have even forgotten that he’s there.

He grabs your phone from your hand, garnering a confused look from you.

“I’ll take the photos. You take down notes.”

You flash him an honest, grateful smile. “Thanks, Tsukishima.”

Then, you proceed with the things you’re doing more at ease.

He can’t tell who he’s more pissed at, you or himself. Something about that display of productivity and wit unnerves him. It’s as if it’s telling him that his chagrin over you is unreasonable because you’re actually reliable when it counts. What’s worse is you’re completely oblivious to it. In fact, you’re almost ignoring him.

Goddamn it. What’s he doing? He’s completely distracted now from the project and is solely focused on you. He quickly shakes it off and calms himself down. His attention should be on the reptiles, not you.

He turns his attention back to the crocodiles, but the mating act only lasted a few minutes. After that, you both barrage Sara with an array of questions that she looked too overwhelmed by the end of your tour.

You’ve covered almost everything for the day and it’s already around 6 in the evening when you get on a bus on the way back to Miyagi.

“That was fun!” you comment ardently with an abnormal shine on your face when you sit down on the bus on the way back. He wears his headphones on before you start a conversation he’s not willing to have. From his peripheral, he sees you turning to him and as he predicted, your mouth begins moving while you animatedly narrate words he could not hear.

He’s already acting as if he can’t hear nor see you, but you still don’t stop. Knowing you, you will not stop until you make sure he notices you. He wearily removes his headphones only to see you not saying anything and only mouthing words with hand gestures.

“Seriously?” He scowls at you. He’s already exhausted at having to deal with you even for just half a day, but you still have the energy to mess with him.

You cover your mouth with your hand as you snicker but it erupts into a hoot of laughter shortly. You gasp ridiculously after you ride out your stupid amusement from poking at his patience. “Tsukki, I swear to God. You make the best faces,” you say while wiping away your joyous tears.

“Were you even going to say something worth listening to?” he questions sourly.

You study him then shake your head. “I think you’re tired, so let’s just discuss what we gathered next time. You can go ignore me now,” you tell him with an understanding smile despite the slight banter.

You tilt your body in his direction and hoist yourself up a bit to put his headphones back yourself like it’s no big deal.

You settle back into your seat while he stills on his seat, stunned with what you just did while you get your readings again and shrink to your own bubble. You don’t seem to make anything of it, so he doesn’t as well. It was very you to mindlessly get on anyone’s — particularly his — personal space anyways.

He increases the volume of his headphones and tries to relax. Yet, his attention keeps swerving back at you every now and then. You’re really concentrating hard with your brows burrowed while you stare at your hand-outs. After a while, he notices you bobbing your head from the corners of his eyes.

He can tell you’re as tired as he is and trying hard to fight the sleep that’s taking over you. The bunch of papers you previously held are now clutched on your lap.

On the last bob of your head, you snap out of it. You blink repeatedly and return your eyes to your readings again. To no avail, you’re shutting down with your eyes fluttering when you try again. You look like you decided to give it a rest and put your papers back in your bag. You cross your arms and lean back to your seat.

He feels relieved that you finally yield to your physical exhaustion. He doesn’t need an additional bullet point to his list of why he can’t fully hate you. Also, you won’t run your mouth at him if you’re asleep.

He feels the soft thump of your head on his shoulder. You probably did too as you suddenly bolt up and tell him ‘sorry' which he only understands based on how you mouthed the word. You lean back again and try to settle back to sleep. But when you start dozing off, you sway to the other side of your seat which is the aisle of the bus.

He grabs your shoulder to prevent you from tumbling down to the aisle. Your disoriented self looks around, alarmed at his sudden touch.

“Just fucking lean on me,” he spits out, irked that he has to say it out loud. It’s not like he pushed you away. You could’ve just stayed as you were and he would’ve turned a blind eye at it out of recognition of the effort you put in today. He’d just consider it one of those times that you do something annoying and he just ignores you as a response.

You regard him with dazed eyes. You open your mouth as if you’re about to say something but decide against it as you shut your eyes again and you let your head rest on his shoulder. But even then, your head still falls forward from time to time. He puts a hand on your forehead to settle you back on his shoulder and slides a bit downward on his seat to accommodate you.

Jesus Christ, you can study in a moving vehicle but can’t even do a simple thing like sleep properly on it. Why does he even have to adjust for you?

He heaves furiously in contrast to your steady breathing, letting him know that you’re easing deeper to your sleep.

He distracts himself by looking at the window, witnessing the unmoving dark sky and the changing scenery below. He lets out a sigh.

Maybe he should’ve just accepted the ten point deduction.

Part 1 || Part 3 || masterlist

taglist (those crossed out can’t be tagged - pls check your settings?)

@ameliaxo @suikrem @akaashisslave @tsumurai @celestialarchiveshq @loving-unicorns106 @flairlust @geektastic84 @anaiss97 @berna-dette @just4readingfics @suteorra @xxekitten69xx @simp4tsukkii @music-is-all-i-need @keshinslittlegirl @raspberrysunshinebby @iminlovewhaikyuu @pdiddy11 @lightyagamami @sailorscout1902 @lovershaikyuu

#tsukishima x reader #haikyuu fluff #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima angst #tsukishima smut #haikyuu smut #haikyuu angst #tsukishima kei #for the love of kami-sama #pls let the tags work

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thefact0rygirl · 3 years

Text

BEHAVE | Part 2/3

{part one} {masterlist}

Rating: Explicit 18+

Pairing: Boba Fett x Fem!Reader (no use of Y/N)

Word Count: 5.0k

Warnings: penetrative sex (p in v), oral sex (f receiving), breast play, mouth kink, light choking, squirting, name calling, creampie, softdom!boba, explicit language, explicit sexual content, explicit language, overuse of pet names what else is new

A/N: annddd we’re back with more boba thots (and some fluff). I 10000% believe boba’s love language is acts of service and i was yearning. Oh, and there’s going to be a third part because let’s be real boba is older and can probably only last one round

Cross-posted on ao3

For the first time in his life, Kole Terrek didn’t know what to say.

Even after Fennec confirmed that, yes, Boba would have shot him, his tongue still itched at the need to say something to his employer. Anything. But what exactly do you say to a crime lord after you just flirted with his girl right in front of him?

Most didn’t make it this far and yet, there he was: pacing around the throne room, racking his brain for the best thing to say. He mulled over every phrase, every word, but they all seemed to fall short.

“Huh, that’s a first,” Kole chuckled, turning to stand in front of Fenenc. “Can’t think of anything to say when the boss returns. Don’t think that’s ever happened.”

“And yet you’re still talking.” Fennec retorted, flicking a grain of sand from her sleeve.

There was some shuffling coming from a hallway behind Kole before the familiar sound of heavy footsteps echoed off the walls. He recognized those steps.

Boba.

Kole’s blood ran cold as he realized his time to figure out an apology had run out. Fuck it, I’ll just wing it, he thought, taking a sobering breath before spinning around.

“Hey boss! Sorr—”

He stopped when he saw the two figures entering the throne room. Huh. He was surprised to see you. He wasn’t expecting Boba to let you out here again, especially after Fennec warned him to not look at you or mention you to anyone.

“Boba doesn’t share. Especially her.”

And Kole had every intention of following through, but as you and Boba got closer, his mouth went slack. You looked disheveled with your messy hair and wrinkled dress. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what Boba meant when he said you were “busy.”

But that wasn’t what made Kole dumbstruck. Oh no. It was when the dim lights illuminated your face. Kole squinted, trying to get a better look. Your face was shiny, even a bit sticky, as if you had smeared a thick balm all over and —

Wait a fucking minute.

“I-Is that…” Kole he was asking more to himself, but he wouldn’t mind if Fennec jumped in. She saw it too, right? His eyes bulged out of his skull and his mouth hung open in a comical state. He looked like a character in a children’s holovid. He whipped around to Fennec, who remained unbothered by your state.

“See something you like?”

Kole’s soul just about left his body at the sound of Boba’s gruff voice. The two of you were now standing directly in front of Kole and, yeah, it was exactly what he thought it was.

Semen. Seed. Jizz. Cock snot.

Whatever your preference, your face was covered in it. The hairs on the back of his neck as he tore his eyes away from the thick liquid dripping down your neck.

“Uh..N-No, sir…Boss. Nothing.”

Don’t look, don’t look.

“Good,” Boba replied, as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Reaching into his utility belt, he pulled out a small bag. Holding it up, he shook it so the clanking sound of credits rang out. Kole’s payment.

Just take the kriffing credits and run.

Kole extended a shaky hand to grab the bag, but Boba tossed it behind Kole so it landed on the first step of the staircase.

“Get out.”

Boba was not playing around. So why weren’t Kole’s legs moving? His brain screamed at him to walk. Just get the hell out of there. But it didn’t seem to register, his muscles apparently taking root in the sandy floor.

Was no one going to say anything?

He braved a singular look at you, because, shit, what was the worst that could happen now? Maybe this was some sick joke. You’d start laughing and Boba would laugh and this would be a funny story for him to tell his future children.

But all you offered was a flirty smile. The same flirty smile that landed him in the current cesspool he was standing in. Gawking at you while you wore Boba (literally) all over your face.

After you tilted your chin down and raised your brows, signaling to Kole to leave, his body finally seemed to speed up. Pivoting towards the stairs, he snatched the bag from the step before stumbling up the stairs. He was almost out of sight when he heard Boba call out his name. Kole slowly turned back to face the crime lord.

“It is.” Boba replied, tipping his helmet up to meet Kole’s stupefied gaze.

“…W—What?”

Kole swore he heard a snicker erupt from the green helmet as Boba waved a casual hand towards your face.

“It’s exactly what you think it is.” Boba repeated again.

Nope. No way. Goodbye. He wasn’t sticking around any longer. Kole trampled up the final stairs, tripping and almost falling back down. His unnerving steps grew quiet as he rushed out of the Palace, the large doors clanking shut to signify his departure.

Boba was the first to speak. “All things considered, that went pretty well.”

Fennec let out an exasperated sigh before grabbing a bottle of spotchka.

“Wash up!” She called, retreating through a side door to her private chamber. She’d speak with Boba tomorrow about a raise. If this was the buffoonery she would have to deal with, she was demanding a larger cut.

— — — — — — — — —

Well, shit.

You certainly were a sight. A fucked out and sticky sight. No wonder Kole was close to a conniption.

Following Fennec’s lead, you and Boba retired to your own chambers. As Boba removed his armor, you went on the hunt for a bacta kit to treat your scrapped knees. You swore you had seen one in the ‘fresher. As you flipped on the lights to aid in your search, you finally got a good look at yourself in the mirror and —

“Kriff,” You muttered under your breath. There wasn’t a part of you that didn’t scream mess.

Your hair looked like an untamed tumbleweed that framed two wide, bloodshot eyes. The puffy skin around your eyes complimented the red blotches dotting your cheeks, and then, of course, there was the real mess.

The ropes of cum had mostly dried down to form a shiny cast over your face. Your eyes trailed the nonsensical stripes of ejaculate as they traveled south. Whatever hadn’t dried had traveled down to splatter onto your chest. Most were absorbed by your dress, the stains leaving what looked like a vulgar strand of beads along the neckline.

As you took in a deep breath, the skin on your chest prickled as a rose drop trickled down. Tugging down your dress, you found the offending droplet leaving a gummy trail as it slid down your sternum.

Babe said not to touch, but Kole was gone and Boba was busy…

You hesitated a moment, before scooping the liquid with your thumb and popping your it in your mouth.

“You like that?”

You almost choked at the sudden intrusion. Whipping around, you found Boba shirtless, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You like walking around covered in cum?” The ghost of a smirk played on his lips.

You pulled your thumb from your mouth, lips smacking in response, “I like walking around with your cum.”

He dismissed your statement with a snort and head shake. For as confident of a man that Boba Fett was, he had a shrinking mindset when it came to himself. Those who didn’t know him would say he was just sarcastic, which was true. He was sarcastic, but sometimes his dry comments emanated from his insecurities. And it confused the hell out of you.

In the span of a single afternoon, Boba had threatened someone’s life, face fucked you in a hallway, and then paraded you around his release painted on your face, but the thought that you actually liked it was where he drew the line?

He moved to stand in front of you, his hands squeezing your waist while you pulled his face down so he couldn’t escape your fixed gaze. “I know what I like, Boba.” You pressed, as if that would squash his self-deprecating thoughts.

He didn’t even consider your words before crinkling his nose, “And now your knees are banged up.”

Okay. Technically that was true, but it was besides the point. You sighed, opting to not start a debate. You could practically hear Boba’s inner voice prepping a rebuttal.

Instead, you nuzzled his cheek before grounding him back to you with a kiss. It was brief, just long enough for you to feel the warmth of his mouth and taste the air in his lungs, before he pulled away. He nodded towards the counter that was pressed into your back.

“Up.”

Boba tightened his grasp on your waist to help steady you as you lifted yourself up to sit on the counter. Bending down, he assessed the damage to your knees. It wasn’t anything severe, just a bad case of road rash. But it still hurt.

His hand hovered over your left knee, feeling the heat of inflammation radiate from the injured skin. Behind the caked on dirt, a violent shade of red peaked through, acting like a warning to back off of the offended skin. The surrounding areas formed a frame of budding bruises while scratches of various degrees ran down your knees. Some were small and already robbed over while others were much deeper.

Shaking his head, he straightened up and began washing his hands. to wash his hands in the sink.

“What did I tell you about those dresses?” He chastised, his protective nature coming out.

You had to bite your cheek to keep your teasing smile. One of the things you learned about Boba was that his protectiveness extended past sex. It wasn’t just a kink for him. He was incredibly mindful of your wellbeing. Like when he warned you about running around the Palace in a dress that barely covered your ass.

“Easy access?” You joked, hoping your words would relax his clenched jaw.

He responded with a pointed look, his broody eyes letting you he was not unamused.

“Sorry.” You whispered as you bit your bottom lip.

“Practicality.” He emphasized, answering his own question. Grabbing the bacta kit, he kneeled in front of you. “This place is hard and dusty and covered in Hutt slime, you can’t be running around like this. You could get hurt.”

You give him a half-hearted nod in acknowledgement, your mind was bathing in Boba’s affection. He pressed a wet wash cloth to your knee trying to ease the caked on debris from your would. His full attention was now to you and tending to your wounds.

The universe had not been kind to Boba. He was thrust into scum and villainy before he could understand it. There was no place for empathy or emotions in such a wretched world. Emotions made you weak, and if you were weak, you were dead.

The irony of it was that deep down, Boba was an emotional man. He had wants and desires just like anyone else, but he kept them buried, locked up in a box, and shoved into the farthest corner of his mind. What was the point of dreaming when he could never act on them?

He operated in a state of diligent detachment from emotions and bonds. He liked it that way. It kept him safe. Sure, it wasn’t a mark of emotional maturity, but it worked for him.

And then you came along. He didn’t expect it at first. He saw you as a physical release, the result of a mutual agreement that sexually benefitted the both of you. And yet, you still opened yourself to him. You had your own problems and nightmares to deal with, but you still let him experience you so freely, as if you had nothing to lose. In response, he felt himself lowering his defenses and wanting to open himself to you just like you had done to him.

For the first time, he went looking for that chained up box of desires and wants. When he couldn’t sleep, he would toy with the idea of revisiting those wants. But he held back. This was his own version of Pandora’s box and once he cut open the locks, there were no take backs. It scared him, although he would never admit it. So he waited, becoming reacquainted with affection and companionship.

His love was non-verbal. It was brash and it wasn’t for everyone. He wouldn’t hold you, he wouldn’t write you love sonnets, or profess his love for you from the rooftops. He couldn’t speak his affection for you, but he could show you. He always made an extra cup of caf for you in the morning. On colder nights, he would wrap his blanket around you so you would stop shivering.

He would treat your injuries, just like that exact moment. The King of the Underworld would get on his knees for his queen you.

His touches were light and calculated as he worked, watching your body for any signs of discomfort or pain. When the antiseptic he poured over your cuts had flowed into a particular deep gash, you hissed and flinched away almost hitting him in the nose. He wasn’t annoyed or upset like you would have thought. He was comforting, pausing to hold your leg and rub soothing circles into your calf.

“Hush, I know. Almost done.”

Moments like this were how he expressed his feelings for you. No one saw this side of him. Maybe Fennec after Boba saved her, but no one else. This was personal, the purest gift he could give you. It meant more than all the precious stones and credits in the galaxy.

Your heart swelled with pride as he placed a bacta patch to each knee. With his job complete, you thanked him opening your legs so he could stand up and push himself between them.

“What’s that smile for, girl?” He asked as his hands ran along your other thighs.

You didn’t even realize your were smiling, your mind hazy with adoration. You debated telling him, but decided against it. Affection was still new to him, you didn’t want to scare him off. You wanted to cherish the moment for as long as possible.

Shaking your head, you intertwined your hands being his neck. “Nothing.”

His hands gripped the silky fabric of your dress before pressing his hot, open mouth to yours. The familiar knot constricting in your stomach from earlier had returned. His scent filled your body as your nails dragged against the nape of his neck.

Boba broke away first to leave a trail of lazy kisses from your mouth up towards your temple, “Do you want to clean up?”

You shook your head, breath hitching when he dragged his tongue along a dried stripe running across your cheek.

“No?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I like it.” Your breath caught in your throat as he tugged your dress up and over your chest. Once off, Boba threw your dress somewhere behind him leaving you in just your underwear.

“Always full of surprises.” He muttered before kissing you with the utmost respect, which only annoyed you. He was being cautious, teasing you by taming his actions just to see how needy you were. And you were really fucking needy by that point.

He turned his attention to your chest. His fingers trailed along your flesh, moving inward to circle the outer perimeter of your nipples. So fucking close, but never actually touching them. With an impatient wiggle, you pressed your mouth harder to his, feeling your teeth crashed into his.

Boba pulled away, “It seems like there’s something you want, little one.”

He kissed down your throat, tongue gliding down to meet his hands as they massaged your breasts. Amusement laced his ever word as he spoke, “So what is it? What do you want?”

“Y-You.” You managed to get out as your heart thumped against your ribcage.

“You have me.”

“Boba…”

“Use your words.”

You gasped when he finally pressed his lips to your chest. As his hands continued to massage your breasts while your nipples grew hard as he flicked his tongue over each of the hardened buds.

Every nerve in your body on high alert to Boba and his taunting. You let out a high-pitched whine when he finally pulled a nipple into his mouth and began to suck. He didn’t let you revel in bliss for too long before calling out your name.

Finally, a chance to compose yourself. You look down to find Boba watching you with a smug smile.

“Fill me up. Please.”

Standing back up, his hand dropped to the front of your underwear. His finger ran along the waistband of your underwear before moving down to your clothed pussy. Your breath hitched when he started rubbing small circles on your clit.

“You like being bad, don’t you?”

“Maybe I do.”

“But you seem so nice.”

“That’s what everyone thinks, isn’t it?”

“Everyone except me.”

“I like being naughty for you.”

His hands looped into the sides of your underwear and began pulling. You lifted yourself up just enough for him to yank the material off of your body, throwing it behind him to join your discarded dress.

“Yeah?” He asked, not waiting for an answer. He kneeled in front of you again, pushing your legs apart.

With you on full display for him, Boba pushed his face into, filling his lungs with your scent.

“You smell so fucking good,” His nose bumped against your clit while his breath fanned out on your slit. “I could smell you when I was cleaning you up.”

Any hope that Boba was done with teasing was gone when he started bathing your lower half in kisses. He littered your inner thighs with pecks before sucking small bruises into your skin as he got closer to your wet core.

“Boba,” You whined, when he kissed the joint between your leg and outer labia. His mouth was everywhere except where you wanted him. “I’ve been good.”

“And I’m a man of my word. Stop pouting.”

His eyes stayed locked to yours as he pulled back your hood to place a chaste kiss directly on your clit. Rough hands gripped your thighs before he pulled the little bud into his mouth.

“Stars…Yes, yes,” You chanted when he started lapped and sucked on your clit.

“That’s right,” His breath hit your clit with each word. “Let me hear those pretty little noises.”

You moaned his name as he ran his tongue long the edges of your lips, teasing your entrance, before dipping his tongue inside, pushing it in just a tiny bit, before pulling out. He repeated this, each time going a bit deeper. You squirmed as you watched as Boba’s nose grew wetter as his tongue moved in circles inside of you.

By the time he pushed two of his fingers inside, you were on the brink of your first orgasm. His ministrations had chipped away at the little control you had left and the building pressure between your legs was close to breaking.

“F-fuck, Boba-ahhh,” You moaned. Your orgasm escalating quickly, as you feel each stroke, each lick pulling you along. His fingers worked harder, his mouth going back to suck on your clit.

“Are you going to cum for me?”

“S-Stars I’m g-going to—” Shockwaves coursed through your body with every thrust of his fingers.

“C’mon, little one. Soak my face.”

One, two, three more thrusts of his fingers and you wailed, your orgasm burning through you. He continued his ministrations until you let go of your thighs, letting them fall limp to the side.

“You're beautiful when you come.” He stood up letting you awe at his soaked chin and jaw. You adjusted yourself before yanking his face down to your mouth. Running your tongue over his soaked skin, you licked yourself off of him while he sang words of praise in your ear.

“Good girl, taste how sweet you are.”

“My pretty baby came so well, your legs are still shaking.”

“You want me to fuck your pretty pussy?” Boba moaned, as he pulled down his pants just enough to pump himself in his hand.

“Think you can handle it?”

You shuddered as he ran his cock along your slit. Your mouth hanging open unable to forms words.

“Did my pretty girl go cock dumb? Does she need to go to bed?” Boba sneered, pulling away slightly, causing you to cry out in protest. Your arms flailed trying to pull him close to you.

“Then fucking beg for it.” He slapped your pussy with his free hand. “Show me how desperate you are.”

Overwhelmed and annoyed, you pushed your hands to his chest making him stumble back from you. You jumped down from the counter, turning around, and arching your back so your ass was stuck out for him. Your pussy puffed out between your spread legs the wetness from your release and his saliva smearing your inner thighs.

Looking back around to him, your words were laced with exasperation, “B-Boba, please! You promised. I was so good, I was a good girl, I want you to fill me, please.”

Your exasperation was not lost on Boba. His knees buckled as he gripped himself harder. His baiting always made you impatient, but this was the biggest display of brat he had ever seen from you.

You were a spoiled princess. His spoiled little princess.

“Is my girl upset?” He cooed, approaching you again. “You know I’ll give you what you want.”

You could hear the sadistic grin in his voice. He loved to torment you like this. Even if you were good, he loved to watch you beg.

“You just need to be patient.”

Finally, fucking finally, you felt the tip of his cock make contact with your slit. Not enough to enter you, just…resting there. Letting you know how close he is. You pushed back, trying to force him inside you fully, but Boba caught on. His hand came down on your ass, a loud smack vibrating against the walls. Your ass stung as a red hand print bloomed on your skin.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” He growled, smacking your other cheek with just as much force.

You choked on your words as you pleaded, “I was good. I listened.”

“And now you’re forgetting your place.”

“Do you think I’m messing around? Think I won’t stop?”

Despite his sharp words, he continued to tease your slit, tapping his cock against your clit. You had a sneaking suspicion that he was to trying to exert the same amount of self-control he was demanding of you.

“You gonna behave?”

“Yes,” You mewled, screwing your eyes shut. Maybe if you couldn’t see him you would calm down. Maybe. Maybe not, but worth a shot.

“Then fucking act like it.”

You remained steady, trusting he would reward you if you only waited. He slapped your ass again just to be sure. Your knuckles turned white as you held on, locking your knees so you wouldn’t budge from your position.

“Very good.” Boba hummed as he surveyed your feeble attempts at control in the mirror.

The pressure between your thighs increased and you felt his head parting your pussy lips. You clenched at the small amount inside you, as if trying to pull his cock inside of you. You needed him so bad.

Your knuckles turn white when he runs the tip of his cock along your slit, gathering your wetness to make an even bigger mess. He started with your ass, gently prodding at the puckered hole. Nothing extreme or invasive, just some gentle taps to let you know he was there. After all, he did promise to fill all your holes…

Boba pushed in a little further, letting out a small grunt as he did so. He was working his way into you and it was the sweetest torture you had received. Boba could feel you pulsating, too, and grabbed your hips hard, thrusting himself all the way inside of you, forcing you to take his entire length in one go.

With his cock fully buried inside your cunt, he lost all sense of self-control. He pounded into you relentlessly, your hands and feet working so you wouldn’t go sailing into the mirror.

Slap.

His hands were splayed across the globes of your ass as he thrust into you tirelessly. He didn’t let you move, not even to return his thrusts with your own. He kept you planted in place, owning you, making you helpless on his cock.

“F-fuck, good girl, you take me so well,” He muttered as he ran his thumb across your ass before gently prodding at the puckered hole. Nothing too extreme or invasive, just gently pushing to let you know he was there. After all, he did promise to fill all your holes…

The gentle pushing on your ass contrasted with Boba’s fierce thrusting in your pussy had you struggling to keep your whimpers from escaping your mouth.

You felt his hands slithered up your body, one wrapping around your neck while the other wrapped around your abdomen right under your breasts. Pulling you up, he kept you locked against him. His chest heaved as he thrust into you, his force and rhythm never faltering. The hand wrapped around your neck moved up, his fingers prodding your lips.

“Open your mouth, baby,” He grunted, thrusting two fingers past your parted lips. His skin heated up as your tongue swirled around them. He pushed them farther in hitting the back of your throat as you moaned.

“Good girl,” He lifted his head to watched you in the mirror. “Suck my fingers, pretend it’s my cock.”

He wanted to commit to memory every single thing about you. The sheen of sweat that covered your body. The way the skin on your thighs rippled with each thrust. He watched your hands grip the arm wrapped around your chest, fingers scratching his scarred skin as you tried to fight off your approaching orgasm. Consumed in carnal bliss, you were beautiful to him. He wanted you to see what he saw, wanted you to experience it all. Every last detail.

“O-Open your eyes, pretty girl,” He coaxed. “Look at yourself getting fucked.”

The first thing you saw were his fingers stuffed in your mouth as you drooled on his hand. His brown eyes leered at you from over your shoulder, watching you with such animalistic desire, he looked to be in pain. His desire and own release ached as he drove into your wet pussy.

“What would that piece of shit Kole say if he saw you like this?”

Your only answer was a moan, feeling his cock rubbing against your g-spot. You watched Boba bite into the sensitive skin of your shoulder.

“He’d never look at you ever again.”

“He wouldn’t think you were such a nice girl anymore."

“He’d think you were such a little slut.”

“You’re my little slut, right? Only for me.”

“Mmmm-hmmm.” Your pussy started to convulse, moments away from your second orgasm.

“Touch yourself. Cum one more time before I fill you.”

“Can you do that?”

“Let me see you shake.”

Your hand shot between your legs, unable to taunt and tease like he had done. You were too horny, too desperate. You rubbed tight circles on your clit, the tips of your fingers brushing his length as he thrust in and out.

Boba wasn’t far behind, chasing his own release. His voice cracked as he spoke, “O—h, fuck, I—I’m going to cum.”

He ripped his fingers from your mouth, his hand returning to its original spot on your throat. Your eyes fluttered close for a brief second before Boba squeezed the sides of your throat.

“No, no, little one. E—Eyes open.”

“Watch yourself.”

Your chest felt heavy for air as your vocal cords vibrated in short, quick grunts. The pressure building inside of you was growing faster than before. It was intense, almost unbearable. Your pussy spasmed and you felt yourself starting to lose control over your lower muscles.

“B-Boba. I t-think I’m g-gonna—ahhh”

“Let go. Cum all over my cock.”

You couldn’t hold back any longer. Caught in a crossfire of stimulation and pleasure, your body shook as you screamed. Your juices flowed out of you with an unstoppable force. It was running down your legs and splashing against Boba as he continued thrusting into you.

“F—fuck, goo-od girl. You fucking soaked me.”

The sight of you loosing yourself to pleasure, pleasure he created, and feeling you dripping down him was all it took before he buried his face in your neck. Low groans vibrated against your shoulder as Boba caught his own release.

You clenched around him, making it impossible for him to pull out. He emptied inside of you, ropes of cum stuffing you full as he throbbed against your fluttering muscles.

“Milk me, little one.”

“Take every last drop in your pussy.”

Boba continued with shallow thrusts, pushing his cum deeper inside of you. The warm feeling of fullness fanned over your lower half as you collapsed onto the cold counter top. Boba followed soon after, his forearms resting on the countertop on each side of your head.

You felt Boba bury his face in your hair, letting you scent consume him. Even in a state of euphoria, his hands were still clenched in weak fists. Using the little amount of your restored energy you had, he pushed your head until your lips pressed into his calloused skin. He kissed the nap of your neck in return.

Your bodies melted together in post-orgasmic bliss, your breathing slowly leveling out as Boba softened inside of you. You could feel some of his cum start to escape, trailing down your abused pussy clit.

After a while, you turned your head, whispering Boba’s name. He lifted his head up, eyes disoriented as if he had been woken up from a nap.

“I think I’m ready to wash up now.”

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