#sweetlysad1kchallenge

[navybrat817]

Wear Me Down

Pairing: Soft!Dark Ari Levinson x Female Reader, OMC x Female Reader Summary: You never wanted a soulmate, but fate brought Ari Levinson into your life. Word Count: Almost 6.9k (Yup! Sorry!) Warnings: Tagging Dubcon to be safe (please do not read if this upsets you!), explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, possessive behavior, manipulation, mind games, angst, porn with feels, soft!dark Ari Levinson (he's a warning!) A/N: For @stargazingfangirl18 's Siri's 5k Soft Dark Challenge (quote: "I can't stop thinking about you.") and @sweetlyscared 's Sweet Lee's Sad 1k Challenge (quote: "Do you love him?"). Congrats, lovelies!!! This is my twist on soulmates and I hope everyone enjoys. ❤️ Beta read by the wonderful @tuiccim , but any and all mistakes are my own. Moodboard by yours truly. Divider by the beautiful @firefly-graphics​. Comments, likes, reblogs and asks are appreciated. ❤️

I have discontinued my tag list. Please follow my sideblog @navybrat817-sideblog and turn on notifications to see new fics! I will only post fics, my writing schedule and updates there.

I do not consent to have my work posted on any third party site or app. If anyone sees my work anywhere but here or archiveofourown under my same username, it has been reposted without my permission. 18+ Please!!! By reading this, you agree that you are at least 18 years old. Enjoy, lovelies!

Soulmates. Two separate beings condemned to spend their lives in search of each other. People yearned to find the other half of themselves. They prayed and begged for them. You weren’t one of those people.

You decided long ago that fate shouldn’t get to dictate who you were destined to be with. It didn’t seem right or natural. You didn’t need a stranger to complete you. Besides, what if your soulmate didn’t exist? Were you expected to be alone forever? And if they did exist, who was to say you would even like them? Let alone want to spend your life with them? 

Luke wasn’t your “fated” soulmate. You knew that the moment you met. There was no aura surrounding him. Your minds didn’t link the moment you touched. But it didn’t matter. You fell in love with him as a person. It was your choice because you were free to make your own path in life. And you were happy with how things were.

“Oh, my god,” Luke moaned, bringing you back to the moment. 

You smirked as you watched his eyes roll back. “That good, huh?”

“Good? It’s heaven,” he moaned again, licking his lips.

“Well, don’t hog it all,” you teased, reaching over to pull the dessert plate across the table. “I knew we should have ordered two.”

“You didn’t tell me it was that good,” he chuckled, trying to take the plate back as you smiled. “C’mon. One more bite!”

“No! You’ve had more than half.”

“Okay, okay. You win,” he said, holding his hands up in defeat as he gazed at you.

“Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?” he asked innocently.

“THAT. That puppy dog look,” you answered, taking a slow bite of the chocolate cake. 

“Should I switch to…” he trailed off as his head dropped, lifting it slowly with a pout. “The smolder?” 

You almost spit your bite out, covering your mouth as you tried not to laugh. “Not even close.”

One of the things you loved about Luke was his ability to make you laugh. He was against the idea of soulmates, too. He saw too many people rearrange their entire lives just to appease others. He also saw people tear themselves apart when they didn’t find their other half soon enough. It was heartbreaking to see people crumble into themselves and so quickly. Neither of you wanted that.

“Actually, you probably should finish it. I can’t have another bite,” you said as you slid the plate back his way, wiping your mouth with the napkin.

“The smolder did work,” he winked, stopping in mid-bite when you rubbed your arms. “Cold?”

“No, no. I’m fine,” you replied, your eyes darting around the restaurant. It was a warm and cozy atmosphere, but you couldn’t shake the feeling in your gut that something suddenly felt wrong.

“Why don’t I pay the check and we can get going?” Luke offered, looking around for your waiter. 

“Yeah. Maybe I’m just anxious to get you home,” you smirked, trying to be playful. Judging by the raised eyebrow you got in response when he looked back at you, it fell flat.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, taking your hand. 

“I’m okay, Luke,” you assured him, trying to convince yourself as well. “I just want-”

“ARI! There you are!” a man across the room shouted, making a few heads turn. Including your own.

You stopped breathing when you saw the man, who you could only assume was Ari, begin to cross the room. If you had to describe an alpha male in look, it would have been him. The man exuded confidence and power, his muscles and large frame hardly contained under his clothing. The long, dark hair and beard only added to his allure. In fact, he was the most attractive man you had ever seen.

But that wasn’t what struck you. What got your attention was the glow around him. The red aura seemed to flicker as he got closer to you. Of course, it was red. Power. Passion. Love. It was him. Your soulmate. 

You turned your head away before he could make eye contact and slid further into your seat. You prayed he didn’t see you, but how could he miss you? And why was he here?! You went all this time without him.

“We need to go,” you whispered as Luke flagged down your waiter.

“We can go as soon as-”

“We need to go. NOW,” you hissed, bumping the table as you got up. “So much for not attracting attention,” you thought.

“Is everything alright, miss?” the waiter asked as you fumbled to grab your purse, your hand shaking.

“Babe?” Luke asked, already out of his seat.

“I’m fine. I’m fine. I just need some air, okay? I’ll wait outside,” you said quickly, grabbing your purse and bolting from the table.

You knew the moment Ari stopped walking, his head slowly turning toward your fleeing form. You made the mistake of glancing back, seeing his blue eyes flash as he looked at you. He looked as if he would follow before his friend stopped him. 

"I took the liberty of ordering you a scotch," you heard, thankful that you got the chance to slip outside.

The cold breeze hit your face as you stumbled outside, nearly losing your footing as you shivered. You concentrated on your breathing to steady yourself as you grabbed your keys. You debated getting in the driver seat as you got to the car before you decided on the passenger seat, too overwhelmed to drive. The car smelled like Luke's cologne and it only soothed you a bit.

You weren't sure how much time had passed when the driver door opened, making you jump. 

"Woah. It's just me," Luke gently said as he saw your face, getting in and taking the keys from your hand. "Babe, you're shaking."

"Let's just go. Please."

He didn't say anything as he buckled up and started the car. You looked in the mirror when he backed out of the parking space and drove away, holding your breath until the restaurant faded from your vision.

"It was him."

"It was who?"

"It was him," you said again, refusing to say the word. Because that man wasn't… He couldn’t be. "Please, don't make me say it."

"Wait. Him? Your soulmate?" Luke asked, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. 

"Yes. I saw his aura," you answered. "But it's okay. Maybe he didn't notice mine."

"I doubt that," he muttered, glancing in the rearview mirror. 

"He didn't follow me out," you assured him with more confidence than you felt. You didn't want him to be upset or worried. "Can we just forget I mentioned it? Please?"

"How can you just forget?"

"Because I can," you stubbornly replied. Because you had to. You had your own life. You didn't need a stranger to mess it up. "Because I love you."

"I love you, too," he swore.

But for the first time, you heard uncertainty in his tone. 

The automatic door buzzed as you stepped into the liquor store, shivering. The fluorescent lights made you squint as you went down the aisle. They never bothered you before, but you were on edge. You had a hard time sleeping the night before. A night in with a nice bottle of wine would help relax you. And it would hopefully make it up to Luke since you ruined the rest of that nice dinner.

You rubbed your arms as you searched for the right bottle. Why was it so cold? Or did you just need some rest? Smiling, you finally found the one you were looking for. But as you reached for it, a hand suddenly clamped over yours. The cold you felt was replaced by heat, like an electric current throughout your entire body. And it shook you to your core.

"You have good taste."

You drew a deep breath into your lungs and slowly exhaled as you turned your head. It was him. He found you. The aura surrounding Ari seemed to glow even brighter with his touch. Oh, God. He touched you. 

"I'm Ari," he introduced himself, though you knew that. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

You mumbled your name in response when he kept his eyes on you. He repeated it, like he was tasting it on his tongue. As if he had the right. "How did you find me? You know what? It doesn’t matter. I should-”

"Did you really think I wouldn't notice you, sweetheart? Even if you weren't my soulmate, you know how to get a guy's attention."

You yanked your hand away, taking the bottle with it. The action made him smirk and you wished you could slap him. But you were afraid to touch him again. "You're not my soulmate. We don't know each other. And it's going to stay that way. I'm sorry."

He chuckled as if you told him a hilarious joke. "Let me pay for that."

"No thanks," you said, trying to walk around him. You gasped when he gently grabbed your arm to stop you, that current running through you again. Was it like that for everyone? How could they stand it?

"You already feel it," he whispered. 

You wanted to deny it, but he would see through the lie. "I need to go. My boyfriend is waiting for me."

"Leave him."

You chuckled this time at how simple he made it sound. "I'm not breaking up with him."

"Yes, you will. Or he'll break up with you, but I'm counting on you to make the right decision."

"You think you can tell me what to do because we have forced chemistry? It doesn't mean a thing. It isn't real."

Something you could only identify as deadly filled his blue eyes as he stepped closer. "You don't know the shit I've been through… What I've seen. I'm owed something."

The irrational part of you was curious and wanted to comfort him, but the real you took over. "Just because you're owed something doesn't mean I'm going to be your prize. Maybe fate was wrong. And I told you. I have a boyfriend."

"You're loyal. I respect that. But you should end it. It's only going to hurt him if you don't."

"Is that a threat?" you whispered as he brought a hand to your cheek.

"It's a promise," he whispered back. 

You stumbled back, the bottle almost slipping from your hand. "I don't want a soulmate, so stay the hell away from me," you snapped as you walked away. You knew better than to push, but you stopped and looked back. "You know, I can't even feel you in my mind. Maybe this whole thing really is bullshit."

Something in his smile warned you that you just began a dangerous game when you walked away. And that you were going to lose.

"You've been quiet," Luke said as he opened the bottle of wine. 

You were trying to decide how to tell him that Ari found you. It wasn't your fault, but you felt guilty. "Still tired."

"Maybe we can go to bed early," he suggested, smirking as he poured each of you a glass.

"Except I won't be sleeping," you teased, taking a sip as he handed one over. "Mmm. I needed this."

"Didn't I say you had good taste?"

The glass shattered at your feet. Your breathing picked up, trembling from head to toe. Ari's voice was like velvet in your mind, intimately brushing along the walls. A place you never invited him to, but he had the key. And you couldn't take it back. 

"Babe, you okay?" Luke asked frantically, grabbing something to clean up the mess. "Be careful. I don't want you to cut yourself."

You tried to stand still, unsure of what to say. Maybe your mind was playing tricks on you. That had to be it.

"I know you can hear me."

You didn't move until you felt Luke take your hand. His touch was familiar, but feeling his hand in yours felt… wrong. You refused to accept that. He was the one you wanted. It was your choice.

"You're scaring me. Say something," he urged. 

"Luke," you began, looking at him uneasily. 

"What is it?" he asked, brushing his thumb along your palm.

"If he doesn't stop touching you, I'll break his hand."

You ignored Ari, but the threat was there all the same. "When I went to the liquor store earlier… He was there."

Luke pulled away, your arm falling to your side. You knew he didn't mean it as a hurtful gesture, but it still felt that way. "Did he touch you?"

You flinched at the accusatory tone. "Yes, he did and I'm sorry."

He searched your face, as if he was trying to see through you. "So, you can hear him? He can talk to you?"

You nodded. You weren't going to lie about it.

"Why didn't you tell me as soon as you got home?" 

The accusatory tone again made you angry. "What was there to tell? I told him I have a boyfriend and that soulmates are bullshit. My life is still mine and that's that."

"But he's in your mind now!" he snapped, tapping his temple with his index finger. "You can't just… shut him out!"

"Yes, I can!" you shouted, taking a breath to calm down. "I don't want to fight."

His shoulders slumped as he pulled you into his arms. "Neither do I."

"I love you. This doesn't change anything."

"Oh, sweetheart. It changes everything."

You knew Luke couldn't hear him, but you already felt him slipping through your fingers.

You groaned when Luke held a shirt up from the rack. "No. Absolutely not."

"What? I think this would look good on me," he smiled.

"I wouldn't wipe my ass with that," you joked.

"That's good because I'm wiping my ass with it," he said without skipping a beat.

You burst out laughing as you took it from his hand and put it back. "No. That's a deal breaker," you teased before your smile fell. 

"It's okay, babe. I won't buy the shirt," he promised when you looked around.

"No, it's…" you had that feeling again. Only it wasn't a chill any longer. It was like a blazing fire.

"See someone you know?"

As if on cue, Ari walked into the store. He looked like a predator on the hunt and you couldn't tear your gaze away. It wasn't fair how handsome he was or the fact the power clung to him like a second skin. And the smirk he gave you as he walked your way sent a spike of arousal so sharp your knees almost buckled.

"That's him," you whispered, your heart pounding as you reached for Luke's hand. Instead of taking it, he grabbed your arm instead and pushed you behind him. The protective gesture brought a soft smile to your face.

Ari stopped in front of you and you took a moment to compare the men. Luke wasn't a small guy or easily intimidated, but Ari looked like he could eat him alive. He also looked like he had wanted to toss you over his shoulder like a caveman and take you away.

"You must be the boyfriend," Ari said smoothly. 

"Luke. And you must be her… Oh, wait. Nothing. You're nothing to her."

The words shocked you and filled you with a sense of pride.

Ari smirked as he took a step closer. "End it."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Luke asked.

"I'm her soulmate," he replied confidently. "And I promise it will be much less painful if you just walk away. And if you don't? I'll bust down your door and fuck her right in front of you. Just so you can see how good she should feel before I get rid of you myself."

Blood rushed to your cheeks. Hearing that made you furious, but it didn't stop the image from filling your mind. Your body pinned beneath his, taking everything he gave you, until you screamed.

"You son of a-"

"Stop!" you demanded before they came to blows. "Ari, please. You can't just interfere in our lives. You have to understand that."

Ari's gaze softened surprisingly as it swept over you. "Don't make me do something to him you won't forgive me for."

You swallowed as his voice lingered in your mind. "Please, go."

“Get your stuff and get out. I’ll know if you don’t. Consider that your warning," he said, turning to walk away. You hated the way your eyes followed his frame and the way your heart ached with each step he made.

"We'll be fine," Luke assured you once he was gone. "What could he possibly do?"

"Morning, sweetheart."

Every morning for the last three mornings, the moment you opened your eyes, you were greeted with Ari's deep voice in your mind. And, every morning, you ignored him. You admitted to yourself that it wasn't easy. The natural pull made you want to answer him. 

"Are you getting enough rest? You need your strength."

"When you move in with me, I expect us to have breakfast together. Work can keep me busy, but I won't neglect you."

"We'll have to go shopping together. I want this to feel like your home."

It was always a combination of things. What he wanted to do to you, how he saw your lives together. He always made sure you were taking care of yourself, which didn't make sense to you. He had to know you weren't resting well. Maybe the arrogant asshole was taunting you. 

Oh, you picked up quickly that he was arrogant.

"I woke up so hard thinking about you. Are you wet? I know you're thinking of me. I can feel it."

"This shower would be better if you were in here with me. Your cries would sound so pretty when I bend you over."

"You'll be addicted to my cock. You'll wonder how you went so long without it."

Luke tried not to worry when he saw your strained smile as you both got ready each day, but it was all over his face. Truthfully, you were worried, too. It was a distraction. You weren't sure how much longer you could ignore him. And his words were getting to you. 

When you looked to the future, Luke's face was no longer there. It was a blur. But the focus was slowly shifting to Ari. You tried not to think ahead. You didn't want to see in your mind what your heart was fighting. 

"Let's call in," you suggested as Luke poured his coffee. 

"I can't today. I'm in meetings all day."

"Are you sure? We can go shopping. See a movie. Stay in," you ticked off, giving him a small smile.

Luke set his mug down. "You really want to call in?" he asked suspiciously. "You never skip work. What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is it…" he trailed off, touching his temple. 

"We talked about this. I'm fine," you brushed off.

"No, you talked about it," he argued. "You keep saying you're fine, but he isn't leaving your head, is he?"

"No, he isn't, but I'm ignoring him. I haven't answered him at all."

"And how's that working out for you?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"It's fine, like I said. I thought you were on my side. You said we'd be fine," you reminded him. And you had believed him. 

"I am on your side, but ignoring him isn't the answer.”

"Then what do you suggest?" you pressed. Because you certainly didn't know what to do.

Luke contemplated before he grabbed his phone. "I'll see if I can conference in from here. I don't want you here by yourself. You take the day off and try to get some sleep. We'll figure this out."

"Thank you," you whispered, getting your own phone to message your boss.

"I'll keep the door shut so the noise doesn't bother you," he said, kissing your forehead before he made his call.

You groaned as you flopped back on your bed a few minutes later. Thankfully, your boss was understanding and you had more than enough personal time saved up. Maybe Luke was right. Sleep would help and your head would be clear.

"Skipping work, huh?"

You groaned again. Of course, he knew. God, how did others stand someone being in their minds? The strange thing was, it didn't feel bad with him. That pissed you off because it shouldn't have felt good.

"Talk to me."

You closed your eyes, seeking out the link. You weren't sure what you were doing, but instinct took over. "Ari, you need to stop this."

"You have a beautiful voice."

The compliment made you heart somersault before you could stop it. "Thank you."

"So tell me what's so bad about being mine."

"That right there. You think I'm yours. You feel as if you have some kind of claim on me when you don't. I built a life for myself and I don't want to live depending on another. I know that isn't fair to you and I'm sorry."

"I built a life for myself, too, but I'm adapting so you can be part of it. We can adjust to this together, but you have to give me something to work with."

You sighed as you pinched the bridge of your nose. "I can't. I'm sorry."

“Don’t you feel empty, too, being apart from me?”

One of the bitter things about soulmates was the distance. Too much time apart, especially denying the bond, made it harder. “I’m not talking about this anymore. You need to try and forget about me.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

"There are plenty of others out there."

"They aren't you, sweetheart. They'll never be you. Trust me. I tried to fuck you out of my heart before I even met you. All it did was make me feel empty. And now that I have you, you think I want to let you go?"

Your gut twisted at his words. "You don't have me."

"But I will and it's going to feel so good.”

You inhaled sharply, your heart beating faster. “Please, don’t say anything else.”

"Just imagine it, sweetheart. On my knees in front of you, slowly peeling down your soaked panties. Oh, we both know you'd be drenched and twitching for me."

Your pussy clenched as an image of him looking up at you, his pupils blown, flashed behind your eyes. "Ari."

"Fuck, I can practically taste you on the tip of my tongue. So sweet. So wet."

You gasped, swearing that you felt his tongue lick a strip along your folds. Fuck, you felt his beard, too. How was that possible? "Stop."

"But the first time I really make you come will be on my cock," you could hear the gravel in his voice. "You're going to say my name when you do. And when I fill MY sweet cunt, you'll know in your fucking soul that you. Are. Mine." 

You almost reached between your legs to relieve the ache, but you gripped the sheets instead. "Ari, stop!"

"That's not what you really want. You know what you want more than to be wrecked by my cock? You want to feel whole. I'm the only one who can do that."

You wanted to scream in defiance. Or burst into tears. There were cracks in your heart that you didn’t know existed, but what did he have to fill them?

"Believe it or not, I actually admire your will. I'm not trying to break it. But we'll see how much longer you last."

You took off the rest of the week and couldn't find it in your heart to feel bad. Not with the images that refused to leave your mind no matter how hard you tried to block them out. You scrubbed the counter, unable to stay still as you tried to distract yourself. Adrenaline continued to surge through your veins as you finished, moving to the next task. 

You used to pride yourself on your resolve, but maybe you were weak. How else could you explain how easily and quickly you were breaking down? You wiped your hands when you heard the front door open, rushing to see Luke. He was there. He was real.

"Hey, babe. I thought I'd come home early and-"

You pressed your mouth to his, not giving him a chance to breathe. "Bed," you ordered as he picked you up. 

"I really need to talk to you," he tried as you kissed along his jaw.

"Bed," you said again.

He groaned as he carried you, not questioning what had gotten into you. Not even a minute later, you were tossed on the bed. Luke crawled up your body, his mouth finding yours again as pinned you down. You reached down and popped open the button of his pants as you kissed him deeper, making him gasp when you unzipped them and pushed them down as far as you could.

"Babe, we can go slow," he offered, sitting up a bit when you hiked up your shirt.

"Just fuck me," you hissed desperately, pushing your underwear down. You could talk later. "Please, just fuck me," you begged in a softer tone, reaching for him when he took himself out of his underwear. 

Luke was always good to you with foreplay, making sure you were ready. But you saw the lust in his eyes from your demand as he settled between your thighs. There was something else there that almost made you pause. Why did it look like his heart was breaking? He slid his hands beneath your ass to lift you before you could think more on it, the head of his cock rubbing against your slick hole, before he slid in. 

You moaned as you closed your eyes, putting your hands on his shoulders to keep you steady. The familiar stretch had you clenching around him and you wondered just how quickly it would take for you to get off. The broken whimper you let out made him groan as he pressed you further into the mattress.

"I love you so much," his voice cracked as he thrust deeper.

"I love you, too."

His mouth found your neck as he rocked his hips, his beard making you shiver as it scratched your skin. Your eyes flew open as your nails dug into Luke's skin because he didn't have a beard. "Luke," you gasped.

He moaned your name as you looked up at him, but his eyes were shut in ecstasy. You blinked and you saw Ari above you, staring right into your eyes. You felt him in you. Blinking again, it shifted back to Luke. Your body went lax beneath his as you squeezed your eyes shut.

"How badly do you need to come, sweetheart?"

The hands that moved to your hips felt different. It wasn't the touch you knew, but it was the touch you craved. It terrified you. You dared to open your eyes again and all you saw was Ari. Your soulmate. Bringing you higher and higher.

"Please."

"Come. Give him one last treat."

You couldn't stop your body from seizing, crying out from your release. You didn't give yourself a chance to enjoy it as the image fell away, shoving Luke off of you as you tried to catch your breath. He called after you as you rolled from the bed and bolted to the bathroom. You barely had a chance to shut and lock it before you went to the toilet, retching.

The pounding at the door seconds later didn't even make you look up. "Babe, are you sick?" he asked, trying the handle. "Please, let me in."

"Be right out!" you called, gagging again as you began to cry. How could you face Luke when you thought about Ari? When you felt him? How could you tell him you came because of another man? 

"He'll get over it."

"Shut up! Shut UP!"

"He will. He knows he's losing you. He lost you before he even had you. And he has his own soulmate out there. You do realize you're hurting them, too?"

You got to your feet, your stomach still rolling as you went to rinse your mouth. "Please, leave me alone. Please.”

"It hurts when you reject me. I know you can't stop thinking about me. I know you ache for me. I ache for you, too."

You wiped your eyes, looking in the mirror. You looked worn out. "I mean it, Ari. Stay the hell away from us and stay out of my mind."

"All this hurt and pain for what? Giving fate the middle finger just so you can say that you're right? Guess what, sweetheart? You're wrong. And I am fucking tired of you denying me. So… fucking tired."

You rubbed your arms as a chill rolled down your spine. The soft growl in his soft voice was enough to intimidate you, which angered you because you didn't owe him a thing. You stubbornly clung to that.

"I'll see you soon."

*****

Luke sat on the sofa with you, not speaking for a few minutes after you told him what happened. You felt sick seeing the look of betrayal on his face. "Do you love him?"

"What?! No. How could you ask me that?" you asked. "I love you."

"But you're thinking of him. You're seeing him," he said, putting his face in his hands. "I've seen others fall apart. I didn't think it would happen to us."

"Falling apart? It hasn't even been a week since we saw him at the store."

"And look at you!" he shouted as he lifted his head, making you move back. "You're skipping work. You're thinking of him when we're sleeping together. You realize it's only going to get worse, right?"

Your lip trembled as you shook your head. "No. We love each other. That's enough to make it work."

Luke stood up, slowly pacing back and forth. "Except it isn't enough."

"Yes, it is," you said, standing up to take his hand. 

"No, it isn't," he said, stepping back before you could touch him. "That's why I came home early."

"Why?" you whispered when he wouldn't look you in the eye. "Why?!"

"Because I’m saying we're done," he whispered, tears in his eyes as he finally looked at you. "I love you. I do, but… I can't do this. Neither can you."

You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. "You don't mean that."

"Yes, I do," he said with a finality that broke your heart. 

"Did something happen?" you asked, tears clogging your throat when he shook his head. Was that why he looked so heartbroken in bed? Because he knew he would walk away? "I don't want to lose you or what we have. Please."

"I'll stay somewhere else for the next few days until we can get this sorted,” Luke sniffled, like he was trying to hold himself together. "I'm thankful I had you as long as I did. And I know love exists because of you. I'm always going to cherish that."

You let the tears flow freely. You two were supposed to beat fate. But was this the path all along?  "So, that's really it. You're done with us?"

Luke took cautious steps toward you, placing a kiss on your forehead. “I’m sorry,” he said against your skin, walking around you as you crumpled to the floor. 

Sobs wracked your frame as you tried to process what just happened. It felt like another bad image in your mind, but the sound of the door slamming shut made you cry harder. He walked away. Was it your fault?

You cried until your head hurt, not lifting yourself from the floor when you stopped. You expected to feel Ari’s voice brush in your mind, but you didn’t hear anything. There was no warmth. No comfort. Nothing.

“Ari?” 

You were met with silence. That was what you wanted all along. So why did it feel like your heart broke all over again?

A knock at the door made you open your eyes. You pulled yourself up, cracking your neck. Sleeping on the floor wasn’t your brightest idea, but you were too hurt to care. You didn’t even check your reflection before you went to open it.

You felt the warmth before you saw Ari on the other side. You wanted to bask in it. As he stepped inside, making you step back, you wanted to know why he was there. And how he found you. But he was your soulmate. He would always know where you were and when you would need him.

"Are you happy?" you asked. “He left. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

When Ari didn't respond you shoved his chest. It was like pushing a wall of pure muscle as he stared with that stoic expression. You tried again and he didn't budge, your anger surging.

"Damn you! And fuck you!" you shouted, your mental walls crumbling to rubble. "You ruined everything! Because of you, I lost the man I lo-"

Ari gripped the back of your head before you could finish the word, crushing his lips against yours in a bruising kiss. He bit down on your bottom lip, dragging it between his teeth. His tongue followed, slipping into your mouth as you gasped. The dam broke completely as the taste of bittersweet sorrow was forever committed to your memory.  

"Don't say his fucking name and don't you dare you say you love him. I'm going to spend all weekend fucking him from your memories until all you know is me."

The distinct sound of fabric tearing hit your ears, your breasts spilling free from the ruined shirt. “What are you-”

“You were soaked the moment you saw me. Don’t deny it,” he snarled, your panties joining the torn shirt on the floor.

You felt his hunger and it fueled your own. His need filled your mind until it was all that you felt. It was manipulative. It was euphoric. The desire that only a soulmate could fulfill.

“He’s gone, but I’m here. He gave up on you, but you have me.”

His hands explored you as he sought the silken heat of your mouth again. Every touch lit a fire under your skin. You leaned into it, wanting it branded on your skin. Your heart began to piece itself back together as much as you wanted to wallow in the pain.

“Doesn’t it feel good to give in? To know that you have someone who will never let you go?”

“I don’t love you,” you argued as he stripped down. Why weren’t you stopping him? Why did you want to see all of him?

“You’ll learn to love me. Unlike you, I took the time to explore your mind. Because I never left.”

You trembled as you saw his muscles ripple. He really was built like a god. And you knew he was there in your head. He would always be there.

“I love you with everything I have,” he swore, his hands finding your breasts with ease. They ached and swelled as you pushed against his palms. It was like your body wasn’t your own. “And I’m not letting you go.”

Your throat tightened as he took you to the floor, like the bed was too far away. Fighting this bond ruined the life you had. You knew you would never have it back. With Ari hovering over you, you felt ruined all over again because you needed him. You couldn't stop the tears that filled your eyes and you didn't care if they made you look weak. You had never felt so helpless in your life, but he was there to anchor you.

“Do you remember what I said?” he asked as he slapped his hard cock against your pussy. The feel made you jolt. Would he tear you in half with it? As much as you feared the pain, you knew your body would accept him. “You’re going to scream my name when you come on my cock. That’s a fucking promise.”

He surged forward and sheathed you in one, deep thrust. You cried out in protest, even as your body molded to his. He gripped your chin when you tried to look away, making sure your eyes were focused on him. 

“Relax, sweetheart. You were made for me.”

His hips rolled once some of the tension left your body, his grip sliding to your neck. Your pulse beat frantically as he surged in and out, feeling him squeeze gently before he let go. Each movement drove out the terrible longing you felt. Your back was likely to be sore later from how he was taking you, but you didn’t care.

“I would have made our first time beautiful if you let me. Gentle. Tender. But you’re fucking stubborn. And this is just as good.”

He pulled back until only the head of his cock was inside you, snapping his hips to bury himself into your wet heat. He repeated the motion as you shouted, a dark smirk on his handsome face. Your arms slipped around his neck, keeping him close as he thrust deep. You shuddered as your eyes rolled back, your hips moving restlessly against his. 

"There you go, sweetheart. Your pretty little hole is hungry for my cock. Knew you’d take me so well.”

“Fuck!” you cried, your body humming in undeniable pleasure. You felt him in your heart, mind, body and soul. He was everywhere. You’d never get him out. And, after having a taste, your soul didn’t want to let him go.

“You’re mine, do you understand me?” he grunted as you tried to meet his thrusts.

“Yes,” you moaned, shuddering again. The countless, perfect thrusts had you clenching rhythmically around him. A hand reached up to grab his hair, unsure if you wanted to make him groan in pleasure or pain. 

“Say you’re mine,” he growled, licking his thumb before he reached between your bodies. You nearly sobbed when he found your clit. “Say it.”

“I’m yours!” you shouted, seeing him flash a smirk again as he rubbed the swollen bundle of nerves. “Please.”

“Please what?” 

“Cocky bastard,” you thought. 

“Heard that. You know what you need. Just say it.”

“Please, let me come!” you begged, your head falling back as the last word ended on a choked breath.

“Come on my cock and say my name, sweetheart,” he said, pinching your clit.

You screamed his name, nearly sobbed it, as you arched and clutched at him. It was the most powerful orgasm of your life, the aura around Ari exploding in colors you didn’t know existed. Your cunt sucked him in to the point it was almost painful to keep him there, but your body refused to let him go.

“That’s my girl. Fuck, you drenched me. Trying to drown me with your beautiful pussy. Never letting you go.”

You were pliant as you lay there, your body still buzzing as he lost his rhythm and rutted into you. The warm splash on your insides moments later was like the final balm you needed, his moan of pleasure sealing the fate you denied. You were complete. And you knew he was, too.

You shook again as you clung to him, trying to catch your breath. You felt the link from your mind spread everywhere, irrevocably tying the two of you together. The intensity almost smothered you. He rubbed your side soothingly as he kissed over to your ear, panting gently against it. “Who do you belong to?”

“You,” you whispered.

“And I’m yours. Don’t forget that.”

Barely a week. That was all it took to make you forget Luke and wear you down.

Ari studied you later as you slept, smiling to himself as he touched your cheek. He leaned over to check his phone when he knew you wouldn’t stir, dialing one of his contacts. “Where is he?” 

“Checked into a hotel. We have eyes on him.” “Keep it that way,” Ari said, looking down at you again. “Remember, if he comes back this way before we’re gone, kill him and his family.”

“Consider it done. Though I would think the visit we paid him at his office would have been enough to scare him away for good. But, Ari, are you sure you still want him alive?” 

Ari smirked a little. “She thinks he gave up on her and he’s going to have to carry that around the rest of his life. Each time he looks at his family, it’ll be a reminder of what he let go of. And he knows she’s really mine because he was too much of a coward to actually fight for her.”

“You really are a cruel bastard.”

“I know, but I warned him. He should have let go when he had the chance,” he chuckled, wrapping a leg around you to keep you close. “And my girl really is special. She’ll adjust.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“Then I’ll make her. She’s my soulmate, after all.”

#navybrat writes #siris5ksoftdarkchallenge #sweetlysad1kchallenge #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x you #soft!dark ari levinson x reader #ari levinson fanfiction #ari levinson imagine #soft!dark ari levinson #ari levinson x female reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #dubcon tw

[christowhore]

Broken Promises

pairing: steve rogers x fem!reader

summary: dating an avenger came with occasionally dealing with a stressed out boyfriend. part of you always thought the frustration that was plaguing him was due to his career, another part thought he might have found someone else.

word count: 3.3k

warnings: fluff, insecurities, angst, alcohol & mead consumption, smut, slight dub/con (tagging just to be safe, though all parties are willing) oral (f receiving), fingering, rough sex, dumbification, captain kink, spanking, choking, unprotected sex, cream pie, infidelity, cursing, yelling !!! 18+ minors do not interact !!!

notes: hello! this is my submission for @sweetlyscared #SweetlySad1KChallenge, congrats love 💗! i'm truly a sucker for angst. for some reason i love breaking my own heart when reading so i hope you all enjoy!

join my taglist !

MAIN MASTERLIST

Steven Grant Rogers is the love of your life. Even after being together for two years, you were still in shock that America's poster boy had chosen you to be a part of his life.

You were a photographer, always choosing to hide behind the lens instead of in front of it. The day the two of you met, you were walking through the park while the sun was beginning to set. Trying to get the perfect shot of the sun hitting the skyline, you suddenly plunged to the ground due to a massive weight smothering you.

The mass didn't overwhelm you for long though as the gentlemen who ran into you raised up to his full six foot, two inch stature. Extending a hand to you and rambling apologies to you in the process. You grasped the rough appendage which hoisted your being up. When you finally registered the intruder, you suddenly got lost in his eyes, almost immediately recognizing the Avenger.

“I'm so sorry ma'am,” he apologized, “I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you okay?”

You tried to keep your composure towards the super soldier, but responded like a stuttering mess. “Y-yes, I’m fine Captain Rogers. It's alright.”

Taking a quick look over to make sure you weren't injured, he noticed your camera lens was cracked due to the fall.

You looked down and saw the damaged device and a frustrated sigh left your lips. It was your favorite film camera, a Mamiya RZ67 II. A gift you received last year from your father for your twenty-fifth birthday.

“I didn't mean for that to happen, miss. I can buy you a new one-”

“No it's alright,” you quickly dismissed him, “Don't worry about it, I have plenty of others at home.” You don't know why you lied to him at that moment. Maybe it's because you didn't want to inconvenience the man, another part was due to not wanting him to pity you.

“Well at least let me make it up to you. There's a coffee shop around the corner, may I buy you a drink?”

Smiling up at the captain, you softly responded, “Sure I’d like that.” This time you were the one to extend a hand out.

“I'm (Y/N).”

“Steve.”

The two of you walked side by side to the coffee house while conversing with one another. When you two reached your destination, he pulled out your chair for you like a gentleman and sat across from you. After ordering your desired items, the two of you ended up lost in conversation. You told him about your job as a photographer and he told you all about his love for the arts.

After an hour of discussing interests with one another, Steve noticed it had gotten dark and offered to walk you home. Accepting his invitation, you two went the 15 minute path towards your apartment.

Walking you to your door, Steve looked down at you with longing in his eyes. Constantly having to defend the Earth, he never had the chance to find love again. But after meeting you, he knew you were too special to let slip past him.

“I know this might be a little too forward, but would you be interested in accompanying me to dinner sometime? I promise I won't break anything else of yours, including your heart,” he quipped jokingly.

You felt your heart beat erratically in your chest, which you were almost certain his super soldier hearing could detect.

“I would be honored.”

A little over two years have gone by since your first encounter with the blonde. The two of you had been going strong and it seemed as if you were a match made in heaven. So when did you start to feel so alone in this relationship?

Dating an Avenger, you quickly realized the toll that saving the world took on the man. In the beginning, Steve would head to your apartment after a mission, deflated. He would shut you out, particularly after a tough mission, not wanting to release any tension and frustration out on you. Though you understood, you just wished he would let you be there for him.

After an intense discussion with him about his behavior, he realized how much his attitude was affecting you and promised to be more open and understanding of your feelings.

The two of you proceeded to live a healthier life together. He stopped leaving you in the dark, and it worked for a while, until it didn't.

For the past few months, the stress had been getting to him more and more. He'd be quick to snap at you for the most mundane things, grabbing his coat and walking out the door. You figured it was just work that was affecting your boyfriend's mood again.

One evening, after another argument fell upon the two of you, he did his usual escape routine, leaving you to stew in your frustrations by your lonesome. You were starting to feel helpless. Steve stopped opening up to you. He started spending more nights at the compound, instead of wrapped up in your arms.

There was a small part of you that thought he was cheating on you. You never tried to confront him about it because you never wanted to believe your boyfriend could commit such an act towards you. So you kept your doubts in the recesses of your mind. But every time a fight would break out and he'd leave, those suspicious thoughts kept growing and growing till it was constantly on the forefront of your mind. Deciding that you would talk to the blonde in the morning, you got ready for bed.

You were deep in sleep when you heard the front door open and close. Heavy footsteps trudging to your room, Steve entered the bedroom. Quickly sitting up, you noticed that the time on your alarm clock read 3:47 a.m. You looked and made out the features of your boyfriend with the help of the moon shining through your apartment window. His eyes were glossed over, and slightly red. But you could not miss the way his pupils were lust-blown.

“I'm sorry, princess. Let me make it up to you.”

Stalking towards the bed, he removed the covers of your body revealing your bare legs. You had nothing but his t-shirt that practically swallowed your whole being and a pair of blue cotton panties which were tightly covering your mound.

Steve quickly removed his clothing before crawling up the bed and residing right in front of your clothed heat. He hooked his thumbs into the sides of your panties and slowly dragged them down the expanse of your legs. A string of your arousal connecting your cunt to your panties made him groan in desire.

“Always so wet for me,” he moaned, “Always so good for your Captain.”

Steve dove tongue first into your cunt, swirling his tongue against your clit and sucking it with ferocious hunger. Sitting back on his haunches, he manhandled your body to where he was holding your lower half in the air allowing him to feast on your pussy, while your shoulders and head were the only thing connecting yourself to the bed.

Sticking two fingers into your sopping heat, he dragged the rough pads alongside your walls making sure to reach the spongy spot that he knew all too well. Your breathy moans filled the room, music to his ears.

You could feel yourself on the brink of your orgasm, as could he, so he ate you through it. Your juices coating the lower half of his face like a second skin when you came. He continued to lap you up, only stopping when the overstimulation got too much and you pushed his head away.

Chuckling to himself, he gripped your waist, flipping you on your hands and knees, giving him the perfect view of your ass. Steve gave you a few hard spanks to your right cheek, feeling the area warm up due to his assault.

Pumping his already hard shaft, he didn’t even warn you before plunging deep within your confines. You both loudly groaned at the pleasurable intrusion.

With the Asguardian liquor flowing through his veins, he began to pummel deep into you. Repeatedly slamming the head of his dick against your g-spot, it had you seeing stars.

Sex between the two of you was always soft and gentle. Being used to the languid strokes, Steve was showing a new side to you. Animalistic grunts escaped his throat as he continued to use your body as he saw fit.

“Who’s your Captain?” his authoritative voice boomed in your ears.

Never being talked to like this in the bedroom, you didn’t know how to respond.

Growing impatient, Steve grabbed you up by your neck still driving himself in and out of you. He was choking you while your back was pressed against his sweaty chest. Without skipping a beat, he practically growled in your ear. “I asked you a fucking question, who the fuck is your Captain?”

There was a warning bell sounding off in your head, telling you that this was a completely different Steve that you fell in love with and made love to. But the rough ministrations being performed had you in a lust driven daze. You became so overwhelmed by his pounding that the only sound leaving your lips were various babbles and moans.

“Aw,” he cooed, “Look at you getting all stupid on my cock.”

He pulled out his dick, admiring the wet sheen you left behind on it before delivering rough, quick pumps to your dripping hole.

“Getting all cock drunk just for me. You missed this, didn't you? Me fucking you hard and rough just how you like it.”

Suddenly, you were brought out of your trance. Missed this? The two of you never went this aggressively in the sheets. You tried some more to collect your thoughts, but the more he rutted into you, the more out of touch with your senses you became.

“That’s right you whore.”

“You kept begging for my dick all night. Now. Take. It. Like. The. Dumb. Whore. You. Are.” he accentuated every word with a snap of his hips.

You were on the precipice of your second orgasm of the night, and you could tell Steve was close by the way he was losing control over his thrusts.

“Oh fuck Sharon, I’m ‘bouta cum. Fuck!”

Your body instantly froze. Part of you thought you were hallucinating. What did he just say? Did he just call you Sharon? The sudden rush of realization hit you like a truck. Every ounce of arousal left your system, while you stoically remained perched up on your hands and knees waiting for him to finish behind you.

With a shout of her name for the second time, Steve unloaded inside of you. Ribbons of cum were pumped, coating your walls.

The addition of the mead plus the sudden rush of dopamine to his brain caused him to pull out of your core and flop down on the bed. Within seconds he fell asleep and all you could hear were the soft snores escaping him.

You stay crouched there, looking at your boyfriend with a mix of emotions. Confusion, puzzling you about what the relationship was like between him and Agent 13. Anger caused you to shake due to the betrayal you felt. And finally sadness took over you last. Did Steve leave you every time after a fight to go to her? Did he fuck her like that whenever they were together?

Though shock was starting to form and take over your brain, you slowly stood up off the bed, trying to ignore the pain that was produced by his assault. Making your way to the shower, you turned on the hot water, not even caring about the rising temperature. You stood with your back facing the shower head, the scalding temperature that was burning your back delivered a pain that wasn’t even in comparison to the agony you felt in your chest.

Steve, the love of your life, the man who promised you the world, was cheating on you, and he thought he was fucking his coworker while in bed with you.

Thankful for the sounds of the water droplets hitting the floor, you allowed the noise to mask your own sobs.

After standing in the shower until the water turned cold, you stepped out and dried yourself off. Your body in autopilot mode, you dried your hair, applied lotion to your figure and threw on a pair of sweats you found in the nearby hamper, not even caring that they were dirty.

You walked out of the bedroom and stared at the super soldier sleeping. Your brain couldn’t process which emotion to feel, so you dragged yourself to the kitchen to get away from the man. Pulling a bottle of Jack Daniels off your bar cart, you decided to forgo a glass and enjoy the auburn liquid straight from the container.

Though you were drinking, your brain was going a mile a minute making you immune to succumbing to slumber. So you sat there and waited. Waited for Steve to wake up to see if he had the balls to come forward with the truth.

It was around 8 in the morning when Steve woke up. Though he was not plastered drunk after meeting up with Thor, he still had some difficulty remembering the night prior.

Registering that he was back at your place, Steve reached out to his right in search of you but found your side of the bed cold. Climbing out of the bed in search of you, he called out your name. Pulling on his underwear and t-shirt, he walked out of the room and was met with the sight of you nursing a bottle of liquor and sitting at the kitchen table, your eyes bloodshot as if you had been crying for hours. Steve started to march towards you but once you noticed his presence, you put your hand up, stopping him in his tracks.

“Hey shutterbug, what’s going on? Did something happen?”

You laughed at his concern. With three-fourths of a bottle of Jack dancing in your bloodstream, it somehow made you remember the events of last night even clearer.

“I should’ve known something was up when you called me ‘princess’ last night. You’ve never called me that. It’s always been, shutterbug.”

Steve was trying to figure out what was plaguing your mind, but you stood up and continued.

“And then- oh god. Then you asked me who my fucking Captain was, as if I fucking work for you?” you exclaim incredulously. Wobbling back and forth, Steve tried to help balance you but that just made you move away from his touch.

“I should’ve realized something then. I mean I did for a while. The fact that you started staying more at the compound instead of here with me. How you’d always leave after every argument. Fuck- is that why for the past 3 months you’ve only been fucking me doggystyle? You can’t get off by thinking about her if you’re stuck looking at my face?” Your drunken state of mind causing you to ramble.

The Avenger stood stuck in place. There was a twinge of guilt and fear creeping up on him. How much mead did he drink last night? Did you find out the truth? He tried to speak again but a flash of rage across your face made him immediately close his mouth.

“And then there was the dirty talk. When have you EVER called me those names in bed before Steven? Huh, when? You wanna know what the crazy part was? I started to like it. It was new and kinda exciting. But guess what happened that ruined it? Guess what it was that came out of your mouth that made me want to vomit? Made me want to shut down and hide as far away as possible from you.” You looked at the man standing across from you and could see guilt etched all over his face.

Anger got the better of you, making you throw the bottle in his direction. But due to his super abilities, he side-stepped in time to dodge it. The glass container shattering against the wall, decorating the floor with shards and remnant droplets of bourbon.

“FUCKING ANSWER ME! GUESS WHAT IT WAS THAT YOU SAID?” You were past caring about keeping your composure anymore.

Deciding it was the best time to respond, “I don’t know.”

The second those words left his mouth, you screamed back at him. “SHARON! Agent fucking 13. TWICE, you moaned her name while inside of me. You moaned another woman’s name while you were inside of your girlfriend of two years!” you said incredulously.

The tears started to flow freely down your face. Steve slowly stepped towards you, and since you weren’t moving away he went ahead and pulled you into his arms. He was muttering apologies into your ear while rubbing your back. You were so numb, his voice started to sound muffled as if you were underwater.

After five minutes of him traping you in his embrace, you pulled away, your face devoid of all emotions. Your eyes were cold, distant, something in the past two years of your relationship he had never seen before.

“How long?” you asked coldly. You just needed to know the truth.

“Look-,”

“Steven. Grant. Rogers. How long have you been cheating on me?”

He looked like a guilty animal. Eyes downcast, shoulders slumped, he was guilty, you both knew that. The least he could do was have the decency to admit the truth.

“5 months. When she came with me on a mission to Madripoor. We were laughing, and having a good time and one thing led to another and-,” you didn’t have the stomach to be able to listen to him finish.

Stalking over to your apartment door, you opened it and pointed towards the hall.

“Leave.”

“(Y/N), you gotta understand she means nothing to me. You’re the one I’m in love with.” He pleaded with you, but you just held that same expressionless look on your face.

“Captain Rogers, it would be for the best if you left. Now.”

There was no malice or sadness in your tone, you just sounded exhausted. It was at that moment, Steve knew how badly he ruined his life. Heading back into your bedroom, he stepped into his jeans and slid on his jacket and shoes before heading back to your foyer.

Looking at you one more time, hoping to ask for one more chance, you avoided his eyes like the plague. Taking the message, he stepped out of your apartment and the door was slammed shut before he even had the chance to turn around.

Deciding it was best to leave you alone, he walked down the flights of stairs, tears falling down his eyes. Steve knew he had no right to feel sorrow, he was the one who cheated. He was the one who broke your heart.

Back inside of the apartment, you stumbled over to the couch, deep in thought.

You thought the world of Steve. He made you a better person. He cheered you up when times were bad. He boasted about your photography skills to anyone who listened. He made you feel like the most important woman in the world.

You thought back to the first day you two met. How he ran into you at the park that day, offering you coffee as a way of saying sorry.

You laid down on the couch and thought about how besides breaking your camera when you first met, he also broke the first promise he made to you as you cried yourself to sleep.

“I promise I won't break anything else of yours, including your heart.”

A/N: okay… so i broke my own heart and started tearing up when i was writing this.

make sure to like, comment and/or reblog if you enjoyed this work, feedback is always appreciated. thank you !

* dividers credit to the lovely @stargazingfangirl18 *

#sweetlysad1kchallenge #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers smut #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers cheating #chris evans #writing challenge

[donutloverxo]

His queen

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+.

Note - An anon asked for an au sequel to first night with no stucky but this can be read as a one shot. Thanks to lizzygal(link to ao3) for her advice on this! This is written for @sweetlyscared's 1k angst challenge! Congrats boo! I used the prompt 'Do you love her?' Although this is hardly angsty but it's as angsty as someone as soft as me can get🥺 Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Summary - Married life with Steve was amazing (although with a few bumps in the way) until you discovered a heartbreaking secret.

Warnings - explicit sexual content, painful sex, innocent naive insecure reader, dub con/noncon, soft dark Steve, jealous Steve, ooc villain Sharon, like a little breeding kink, some angst.

Pairing - soft dark king!Steve x reader

Word count - 5.3k

Steve jolted when your palm hit him across his face, his hand circled around your wrist, ready to fight whatever it was that slapped him off, his grip loosening when he realised it was just you. You wiggled your hand away from his grip, mumbling incoherently before turning away from him, so that he could only see the silhouette of your nude back in the dim light.

Although he had been with a handful of women, he never had to share a bed with one. He didn’t think he’d ever have to, he was born in royalty, raised to be a king. While he liked having your soft warm body in his arms, he maybe could live without your hands slapping him, or both your legs over his thighs and hips.

It was customary for wives to have their own chambers after the honeymoon period was over. And with a heavy heart he had sent you to your own chambers, he made sure you were treated to the best luxuries possible.

But he found himself missing your presence soon enough. Your legs over his, you annoying him for attention whenever he was working, the way you hummed a song in your head, how you often clumsily bumped into things, your sweet beautiful voice, your scent, everything about you.

So he went to your room, told you that you were to live with him in his chambers from then on. You were hesitant at first, but didn’t say no to him.

You could never deny him anything. He loved that about you. How subservient you were despite being so fiery.

He was grateful to have made you move in, in times like these, when his cock was hard and achingly pressed against your thigh, he had you right where he wanted you.

He softly called out your name, he’d rather have you awake for this. He loved listening to the sweet sounds he could pull out of you. When you didn’t so much as stir he decided he would just have to wake you up another way.

Pushing your legs off his, spreading them apart to make room for him as he hovered over you, pressing soft kisses, rubbing his beard against your skin, he made his way down to his destination, he was parched for your nectar.

He kissed your petal, your cunt already oozing with need, your body would always want him even if you weren’t awake. He frowned when you didn’t move at all. He had been a bit too rough with you that night, exhausting you, making you pass out as soon as he was done, but he was growing more and more impatient.

Scraping his teeth over your clit, he bit it ever so lightly as you yelped awake.

“Oh!” you gasped when you looked down to find the king between your legs.

Swallowing a lump, because this was still so very strange to you. Your mother had told you how a man and woman make love before your wedding, but she never mentioned anything like this.

From your knowledge the king putting his mouth there wouldn’t result in you getting pregnant. But it did bring you great pleasure, to the point where it was maddening.

Sometimes it was the only thing on your mind.

It was as if you were addicted to it.

“My king...” you squirmed when you felt him push his fingers inside you, “I’m so tired... I have court tomorrow...” How he managed to do all his duties and still have you at least thrice everyday was beyond you.

“You don’t have to go. You’re the queen, the future mother of my children, you deserve a day off. Besides I do work you a bit too hard, don’t I?” he asked before plunging his tongue into your heat.

“Huh? No... I’m glad to be serving you...” And you had yet to give him any heirs.

It wasn’t long before you released all over his mouth, your cheeks heating up when you saw his beard coated with your slick as he wiped it off with the back of his hand.

“You can stay in bed all day tomorrow. That way you’ll be strong and ready by the time I’m back.” He told you before capturing your lips in a bruising kiss, as you tasted yourself on his mouth.

Turns out a day off was everything that you had needed. You were born a princess, albeit of a kingdom standing on its last legs, you were the youngest of six sisters, your prospects weren’t all that great.

Your mother told you that you’d be lucky to get a rich lord, let alone a Duke or a prince. A King was out of the question. She taught you how to handle a household, she never could’ve prepared you for court or to be a queen. You always dreamt of marrying for love. Of running away after falling for a stable boy and living far away and being free.

But you married the King of the most prestigious kingdom in the whole world. While you had grown to love Steven, you didn’t love all the responsibilities that were thrusted upon you so suddenly, you didn’t like how you were always under scrutiny. Every move you made was watched and judged by others. You still couldn’t believe your life sometimes.

So it was nice to have a day to yourself. You had slept in till late in the morning, having your breakfast in bed before taking a leisurely bath and then decided to go for a walk in the garden just before the sunset before you’d have to go back up and have dinner with your husband before having to perform your wifely duties.

“Your grace,” you smiled upon hearing the familiar voice, turning around to see Lady Sharon approaching you.

You hadn’t seen her in over a month. She had been so kind to assist you and help you get acclimated to your duties, you’d always be grateful to her.

“I thought you were under the weather,” she frowned. It was the excuse you had given to skip court with your ladies that day. Which wasn’t a complete lie. You were a little sore between your legs. But a warm bath had fixed that.

“I’m feeling quite better,” you said, standing upright, a dignified smile on your face--formal and curt.

Always be formal and curt with everyone. Your instinct was to hug her when you saw her after her month long trip, like you would to any of your sisters or friends, but you must always act like a queen since you were one.

“How was your trip?” you asked her as she hooked her arm in yours so you could both resume walking.

“It went alright. Mama wants to marry me off to the Duke Stark, the trip was some sort of matchmaking ploy,” she snorted.

“What’s wrong with Stark? He seems so charming.” You remember meeting him at your coronation ceremony. Where he had got you beautiful pearls from an exotic country.

“He maybe charming, but at the end of the day - he’s manwhore.”

You gasped incredulously, your hand over your mouth as you looked around to make sure your maids didn’t hear you, “Lady Sharon,” you chastised her, “We can’t use that sort of language.”

“Forgive me, your grace,” she apologized, “I often forget how naive you are.”

“What? Naive?” you huffed. “Not using such filthy language hardly makes me naive.”

“Live a little, all royals are debauched in one way or another. I’m surprised to see just how much of a square you are.”

“Is... is being a square a bad thing?” You wanted to know. You never thought of yourself as a conformist, in fact your mother used to tell you you’ll die an old maid if you didn’t start acting more like a lady and less like a spoilt brat.

“Sometimes it is...” she pondered. “Well, for instance, being a square in bed might be boring for some men.”

“What?” you gasped again. Tightening your grip on her arm and walking at a faster pace to put some distance between you and your maids, “Give us a minute,” you told them.

“Lady Sharon,” you looked into her blue eyes, much like your husbands but a little darker, “Have you ever been with a man?”

“I have,” she shrugged. “Just the one. He was my true love.”

“Bu – but you aren’t married.” You frowned.

“So?”

“So, how can you make love to anyone if you aren’t married...” Your mother had told you that making love only ever happened between a man and his wife.

“I... you do know what making love entails right? This is what I meant when I said you were too much of a square,” she chuckled.

“Don’t... don’t make fun of me...” you pouted.

“I’m sorry, your grace, it’s just,” she put a hand over her mouth as she cleared her throat, “Really funny. Two people, who aren’t married, can make love. Being married is good but not a requirement.”

“I suppose that makes sense, me and his majesty could do it even if we weren’t married...”

“Is he happy with you?” she wanted to know.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just, you don’t know much about physical relations, and there needs to be a certain level of knowledge and experience for it to be good at it.”

“Do you think he is unsatisfied with me?”

“I wouldn’t know,” she shrugged. “Does he seem unsatisfied?”

He was always asking for it. Which you preferred, because you’d die of embarrassment if you ever had to initiate it. You couldn’t go for too long without it either. He had went on a hunting trip for just a couple of days and you wanted to jump on him and keep him in your bed as soon as you saw him.

Why would he ask for it again and again if he was satisfied?

“I’m not sure... since you know so much about it would you give me some advice?”

“My, I would’ve thought you’d call me a harlot or a whore instead you’re asking for advice...” she smirked.

“Oh, I would never. That is what my mother would say, probably, but you’re my friend. Besides, I would want to make love to Steve even if we weren’t married, and if he was a stable boy.”

“A stable boy?” she quirked a blonde brow.

“Yes! And I would be me, a princess. It’s just a silly dream I used to have,” you shrugged. “What happened to your love? The one you lost?”

“He got married to someone else,” she stated. And although she was firm and sophisticated as always, you could hear his voice wavering and how much pain she was in.

“Oh my... I am so sorry, Sharon,” you said, engulfing her in a hug to comfort her, now that you do actually love someone, now that you know what loving someone deeply means, how overwhelming it can be, you couldn’t even imagine what losing that love would feel like. “You’ll find someone better.”

“There is no one better, your grace. But I’ll give you some advice,” she pulled away from you, putting some distance between you both, “You have to pay special attention to his balls. Many ladies tend to forget them.”

“Ball...? Like toys? I don’t believe he has any.”

“Your grace,” she rolled her eyes as she snickered, “He does have them. That is where your children will come from.”

“Um... what? Wouldn’t they come from...” you looked down, to the place between your legs. That’s where kids come from. That’s what you had been told.

“Well, yes, that is where they will pop out of. But the balls... the ones right behind his manhood, that’s where his seed comes from.”

“Oh...” you nodded as you realised what she was talking about. “So... what about the... balls?”

“Just pay special attention to them. He would like that. Suck on them, tug on them... but gently!” she chuckled as she realised she would have to talk down to you since you were so inexperienced.

“Oh... alright... anything else I can do?”

“Try to be more... active... instead of just sitting there and taking it you know?”

“Alright. I think I get the gist of it.”

“You ready for me, petal?” Steven asked as he looked down at you, naked and vulnerable, so beautiful and all his. He nudged his cock against your intimate lips, prodding at your entrance as he awaited your answer. He knew he could be too much for you sometimes, he was trying to do better. So he could make you love him at least half of as much as he loves you.

“Mm-hm... but um...” you trailed off. Not exactly knowing how you would go about asking to suck his balls.

“What?”

“I was just wondering if... I could... do that...” you fluttered your lashes, that usually got you whatever you wanted from him.

“And what is ‘that’?”

“You know... when you make me put my mouth on you...”

He didn’t usually make you use your mouth.

Most of the times Steven had a strict unofficial schedule he followed when it came to lovemaking. He wasn’t someone who liked or embraced change, he was always strategic, as a king and as your husband.

He’d kiss you till you were out of breath, then your neck, and then your breasts, he’d spend a long amount of time there, maybe because you liked that the most probably. And then he’d use his fingers to work you up, tasting you, eating you out and drinking your nectar.

That drove you mad, till you were on the brink of insanity.

You loved it as much as you hated it. You had never felt so out of control in your entire life. Not even when your parents told you they were going to marry you off to a kingdom far away, to a man you had never even met before.

Steven would complain that you thrashed and moved around too much, although he would encourage you to make all the noise that you wished. He pinned you down by your hips. Sometimes he’d make you make once, twice, thrice, it depended on how desperate he was to get his own release.

And then he’d have you on your back. Whispering the filthiest things to you as he fucked you, filled you up with his seed.

He’d hold you close to him, kissing your hair, kissing your cheeks and touching your ever so intimately. That was when you were the most clingy, you’d hold on so tightly to him. You were more vulnerable than usual. You would tell him about how, even though you love being the queen and his wife, it was so new and overwhelming, how you miss your family and your old life. How things had changed and so drastically. He’d always tell you that it would all be okay. That he would take care of you and never let anything bad ever happen to you.

Then he’d have you on your hands and knees. He told you he liked looking at your behind and spanking it.

After that you’d both fall asleep. Sometimes he’d wake up in the middle of the night and nudge you awake to love you some more. But he rarely ever made you suck him off.

“You wanna suck my cock?” he smirked as you meekly nodded. “Go right ahead then, petal. It’s all yours now, you don’t have to ask,” he told you as he sat up on his knees.

You looked at his cock. Hard and standing tall and proud up against his stomach. You now knew that being aroused made him hard and much much bigger. Maybe that’s why it’s often such a tasking job to take him--often leaving your cunt so sore.

Soft dark golden hair, much like that of his beard, and then you noticed them. His twin balls.

You took a deep breath as you took him in your mouth, suckling on his head, following your instincts and what he had taught you.

Your hand coming up and cupping his balls, massaging them gently in your hand. You stopped when you felt him go stiff.

Pulling his cock out of your mouth you looked up at him. “Did I do something wrong?” as you wiped your spittle and his preejaculate off your mouth.

“No,” he shook his head. It wasn’t often that he was stunned. Not ever really. But you, taking that kind of initiative, to touch him without him asking for you to, did shock him just a little.

He held onto the back of your head, bringing his balls just next to your mouth, against your soft lips, “Suck on them,” he told you.

You suckled at one, working the other one with your hand as he pulled at the roots of your head.

“Fuck! Stop!” he heaved, pulling you away, “I have to save it for your beautiful cunt, my queen,” he told you as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead before he pushed you back down on the mattress.

Swiftly entering you, you were still as tight as the night of your wedding, which meant he had to be patient while fucking you, and he tried. He really did. But he was not a patient man. Especially not when you had just put your mouth on him and worked your magic in mere seconds.

He put most of his weight on you as he slowly pushed in and out of you, your face scrunched up in pleasure as you dug your nails into his shoulders.

With your pussy hugging him so well, almost as if it was made for him, as if you were made by the gods just for him.

“What have you done to me?” he rasped, touching his damp forehead to yours. You had weaved some sort of magic on him, making him crazy for you. Now it was hard to tell where he ended and you began.

You pressed a hand against your mouth to stop from giggling or making any sort of noise. Resting your back against the cool surface of the throne. You chose the back of the throne in the court as your place of hiding. Maybe it wasn’t the most strategic ploy but you were playing against a six year old.

Lila Barton had asked to play hide and seek with you. Only to receive a scolding from her nanny--to not bother the queen with such trivial matters.

It was as if you were reliving your childhood. You always felt you were made to grow up and be a lady too fast. With your mother and sisters telling you how important it was to act mature and be a lady, or you wouldn’t be able to marry well. Or marry at all.

So you jumped at the first opportunity to play with the kid. Making her count to twenty before looking for a place to hide. You had to go get your lessons for sewing so you didn’t have a lot of time, you hoped she would find you soon.

“But you’re not even considering it!”

You perked up when you heard the familiar voice, it was Lady Sharon! You had to thank her for all her advice, things had been going great with Steven ever since you listened to her. He had been opening up to you as well, although he was still as voracious in his love making. If anything... he wanted you even more now. Which you didn’t think could even be possible.

But some part of you absolutely loved it. And you knew you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You peaked out to see her, to maybe call her to join you on the floor, hiding behind the large throne. You frowned when you saw that she was holding onto Steven’s arm, looking up at him with a certain desperation in her eyes.

“There is nothing to consider. I’m a married man. It would be adultery – a crime,” he stated.

“Bu – but you promised, you told me you didn’t love her. You said you didn’t have any other choice. I’m not asking you to leave her for me, I know that’s not possible. I’m not a fucking idiot like her.”

You slapped a hand over your mouth again to keep your sobs in, tears streaming down your face as you watched your husband, and his lover, have a lovers quarrel.

You couldn’t hear any more of it. Couldn’t bear it breaking your heart anymore than it already had. You quickly got up, fleeing out of the room by the back entrance - which the servants often used.

“You watch your mouth when you speak of the queen,” he yanked his arm free of her, putting some distance between himself and her, “I didn’t make any promises like that. I told you I intended to be faithful to her even if I didn’t love her.”

He knew it was a mistake to ever get involved with Sharon. He never wanted to be a womanizer. But he had his needs. He didn’t think she would become so obsessed with him. He had broken off their short fling as soon as he became betrothed to you.

He felt responsible for all the rumours about him and her and her ruined reputation. So he had arranged for her to marry his good friend Stark but she had her mind set on him.

“I like the queen. She’s a good friend of mine. I don’t intend to replace her,” she explained. She had no interest in being a queen and having such tedious and boring responsibilities anyway—the power and the status that came along with it just wasn’t worth the hassle. She pitied you and how you just weren’t made for the job.

“But she can’t satisfy you, she can’t give you what you need-- What I can give you,” Being the Kings mistress would probably be better than being a Duchess and marrying some boring old man.

“Won’t you even think about it?”

“No I won’t. And you are to never speak of this again,” he warned her.

“Your grace...” Lydia was completely confused. Standing there with your dress in her hands as you frantically stuffed your clothes in a chest.

She had never seen two people as in love as you and the king. When she first met you, it didn’t seem as if you and Steven would make a good couple. She assumed your marriage would be like any other she had seen. Cold and distant.

Steve had never been smitten with a woman, she always felt there maybe something wrong with him. But he had grown so fond of you in such a short time. Even going as far as asking you to live with him in his chambers. Having the king around often made her duties to you challenging. But she was happy for you.

“I don’t understand. What wrong? Why do you want to leave so suddenly.” Does the king approve of your sudden departure? If not would she get in trouble for it?

“He lied to me,” you sobbed. “I thought--” you let out a hiccup.

“Calm down,” she said as she rubbed your forearms. She wasn’t afraid to touch you in such friendly ways, you weren’t as stuck up as most royals.

You took a deep breath as you tried to explain to your handmaiden why you both had to leave as soon as possible. Before Steven gets back. You’ll move all your things to the room you were supposed to live in and just lock him out of your chambers.

“I would’ve been fine living on my own. Just being a wife and a queen. But he made me believe... that we could be more. That he loved me. It’s not true,” you shook your head. “He lied. He has another lover.”

“Oh,” she let out. She was disappointed on your behalf but not surprised. It would be strange if the king didn’t have any other lovers. “I’m sorry, your grace.”

“I’ll be fine,” you sniffled. “This'll be a good lesson for me. My mother always told me I have my head in the clouds and should live in reality. That’ll teach me to dream.”

It was almost funny for her to watch you babble nonsense, stable boys, princesses and backstabbing friends, take a break to cry your heart out and then resume packing and trying to order all the other servants.

“What’s going on here?”

Everyone stopped moving as soon as they heard the kings voice. He of course looked at the Lydia for an explanation.

“The queen wants us to...”

“I’m moving back to my old chambers,” you briskly walked to him, standing right in front of him, looking him in the eye. He was much taller than you, making you crane your neck to actually get a good look at him, but you still tried to look intimidating and confrontational.

“Why?” he frowned. “Put everything back just as it was,” he ordered everyone.

“No!” you stomped your foot, looking very much like an indignant child who had his toy taken away, than a queen, “Don’t! We’re moving!” But of course nobody would listen to you over Steven. Not just because he was their king, but also because he was much more intimidating than you.

“Stop it!” he reprimanded you. “Whatever troubles you may have, we can sort them out together, but you are not moving back. And that’s the end of that.”

“No! I’m leaving! I’d like to see you try to stop me!” You hmphed. Pushing past him and making way for the door. You didn’t need to take your things with you now, you could just send for them later.

You screamed bloody murder when you felt Stevens arm around your stomach, as he threw you over his shoulder in the blink of an eye, “HELP!!” You yelled at the guards and your maids, who didn’t want to get involved, quickly scurrying out of the room.

“Ring the bell if you need anything, your grace,” Lydia said on her way out to you before she closed the door. It didn’t seem as if the king intended to do any real harm to you so she wasn’t that worried about you.

You kept on hitting his back, thrashing around his hold to break free, “Put me down!”

He threw you on your marital bed, his fingers making quick work of ridding him of his clothes so he could show you how he was just never going to let you go.

“Why do you even care? If I leave or not? You can just call for your lover!”

“My lover?” he frowned as he tried to push your skirts up your legs, which was proving to be a difficult task. Maybe he should’ve asked the maids to undress you before making them leave.

“Do you love her?” you asked, looking up at him and stopping your futile resistance for a few moments, your lips wobbly as you felt your vision blue with tears. You were born a princess, living a relatively sheltered life, never knowing pain so unbearable. As if you would never recover from this, you would never be the same.

You would never believe in love again.

“I have no clue what you’re talking about, petal,” he said, getting frustrated with all the buttons and ties on your dress and ripping your skirt apart. Which he regretted, just a little because you started crying again.

“No! I like this dress.”

“I’ll buy you another one. I’ll buy you a hundred more.” He said as he hovered over you, diving in to kiss your beautiful lips and make you stop saying such preposterous things.

You sniffled as you tried to push him away, making him gather your wrists in one hand and pinning them above your head.

“Stop it,” he told you. “When will you understand that you belong to me now? If I say you have to live with me, here, then that’s what you’ll do.”

“I’m not your slave,” you retorted as you tried to wiggle your hands out of his grip.

“Stop listening to rumors! There are plenty going around. I do not have a lover.”

“No. I saw it with my own eyes. You and Lady Sharon. Just this afternoon.”

“What did you see?”

“I... she said she was your lover...?” You tried to think of what exactly had been said between them. But you couldn’t remember. You were blinded by your fury and your sorrow.

“We used to be lovers, before you and I ever met, but not anymore. I could never think of another, I could never love anyone else,” he said softly as he touched your cheek with his other hand, “You want to know why?”

“Why?” you pouted, feeling a little stupid now.

“Because you’ve ruined me, my queen. You’ve made me a lovesick fool. I could never love anyone else the way I love you. Do you want to know how much I love you?” he asked as you meekly nodded.

Pulling his cock out of breaches, he pushed your skirts up, exposing your thighs to him, he rubbed his cock along the slick of your pussy.

“Did fighting with me make you wet, my queen?” he asked, making you avert your gaze.

“I...” it was the way he had simply thrown you around, how he just wouldn’t let you leave, “Maybe...”

“Hm, don’t start picking fights with me for no reason though. My poor heart won’t be able to bear it,” he cooed as he kissed your cheeks, wet from your tears. “You look beautiful when you cry, love, but I only want you crying when I’m fucking you, you understand?”

“Yes...”

He pushed inside you, you were tighter than usual, it was difficult to even properly enter you. The pain of it of course made you cry again. You sobbed into the crook of his neck as he shushed you.

“You feel my love, darling,” he asked as he was buried to the hilt inside you, “I’ll give you a child soon enough. Then you’ll have a living breathing proof of it,” he whispered in your ear as he started steadily moving, making sure that he won’t hurt you.

“I wish... I was your one and only... like you are mine,” you sniffled as you held on to him, soon it is wasn’t hurting as much, it was a little uncomfortable but you could bear through it.

“You are my one and only. You’re the only woman I have ever loved. Do you love me, petal?”

He looked down at you, wanting you to say it. He needed you to love him, for you to say it to him, he needed to know you weren’t here just because you were scared of him.

“I love you, Steve,” you sniffled, rubbing your runny nose with the back of your hand.

He smiled at you, his hand trailing down both your bodies as he twisted your pearl between his fingers.

“It’s okay... it’s okay...” He kept telling you as you screamed at the top of your lungs, your climax making your mind and your vision fuzzy.

“I’m going to fill you up, petal,” he told you as he finished inside you, staying inside you for a long while after he was done just to make sure you knew how he belonged to you just as much as you belonged to him.

#sweetlysad1kchallenge #steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #steve x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers x you #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #king!steve x reader #king!steve rogers x reader #king!steve rogers

[dreamlessinparis]

Come Back to Me

mob!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary: Bucky doesn’t expect you have such an impact on his life and it scares him.

Word Count: 2848

Warnings:  Angst, implied smut(nothing too graphic), mention of blood, fluff

A/N I wrote this for @sweetlyscared ​ ‘s 1k followers challenge. 💕Congrats on that and I hope you have many more to come!  My bleeding heart couldn’t stay away from this challenge. Writing angst might not be my strong suit but I tried. The prompts I used are bolded

~~

Bucky Barnes destroyed everything he touched except you. You were his beautiful flower, so beautiful you made everything in his life better. You were his lifeline, his reason to breathe, the reason his damaged heart still beat and still he let you go. Let you slip through his fingers like sand. Made you leave before he tarnished your soul, the way his was. Bucky Barnes was not a good man, he killed without question and was blindly ruthless, the only good thing he did was set you free, even if it meant leaving a void where his heart was. 

Bucky paces through his cold empty office, remembering the warmth you brought to his life. The room progressively darkens along with his mood, as if the weather can sense his unhappiness and the storm clouds break open in a sudden burst. Bucky laughs humorlessly to the fact that the universe was reflecting the shit show that was his life. His glance shifts to the window, where the rain is falling down on the remains of the once beautiful garden, now feral and unkempt in the year without your presence. His mind wanders back to you, his happy place, as the storm rages outside. 

You never should have been in his life, but fate had a cruel humor and so did Bucky's best friend Steve when he hired you to be Bucky's assistant. A girl like you, sweet as the smell of honeysuckle in the spring, being the assistant of a mob boss, it was a disaster waiting to happen. But you didn't see it that way. From that first day you walked into his office, your long hair pulled back, wearing a white sundress with little flowers on it, he could have sworn you were an angel. You had a smile that lit up the whole room and your eyes didn’t look at him like he was a monster. Obviously you knew who he was but chose to make your own decisions about him. 

Everybody on his crew loved you, the guards, the servants, Steve and especially Bucky. It was hard not to. Bucky begins to think back to the times he caught you dancing in the hall of paintings, headphones in your ears. The one time you noticed his presence, you immediately began to sputter out apologies until you saw the wide smile on his beautiful face. You had never seen him smile before and it made your heart swell. So you did the unthinkable, grabbing his hand and putting a headphone in his ear. To your disbelief, he pulled you close and the two of you slow-danced to a song that clearly wasn't meant to be a slow dance but neither of you cared. You rested your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as you swayed in his arms. 

After that incident, Bucky kept his distance, you made him vulnerable and in his world vulnerable meant weak. He could tell it hurt your feelings, no matter how well you tried to hide it. You kept up a professional front but your eyes gave you away. To Bucky you were an open book.

 Despite his wariness to let you in, he never stopped watching you. Whether you were in the garden, tending to the flowers in your free time, or laughing with Steve about something, Bucky always had an eye on you. Without his permission you wormed your way into his heart and made a home.

It was during one of Tony’s gala’s where Bucky learned what true jealousy was. His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he saw you walk in that red dress, seductively clinging to your curves, hair gathered at the nape of your neck. He didn’t know where to look, the slender curve of your neck or the peek of your leg from your, in his opinion, too high slit or anywhere in between. His eyes settled on your beautiful face, watching as you approached him. 

“You look stunning, y/n,” Bucky leaned in to whisper in your ear, a scarlet blush rising up your neck at his words. You awkwardly thanked him, looking away quickly. His husky chuckle made the hairs on your neck rise and that was when you knew you were falling for him. You had been for a long time but now you were sure. He was a man of terrible deeds, but there was good in him. Under his tough exterior, you had chipped away enough to see a peek of his heart of gold. The heart he thought was blackened by everything he’d done. 

Suddenly Thor approached the two of you and before Bucky could utter another word, you were whisked away to the dance floor. He watched in disbelief and pure rage as his girl was being waltzed around by the golden haired oaf. A hand on his shoulder was enough to throw him over the edge, and he turned to attack whoever touched him, only to realize it was Steve. Steve arched an eyebrow at him and Bucky relaxed, reigning in his anger as much as he could, not knowing what came over him. But Steve knew, he had known since day one. 

From that night forward, the two of you ignored the elephant in the room, tiptoeing around each other’s feelings. Sometimes when you were standing in the garden, looking out, you felt him come up behind you, the heat of his body radiating against your back. You could feel his nose skim your hair, inhaling your scent, eye fluttering shut in hopes he would touch you. But he never did and he always disappeared before you could react. You yearned for him in ways you had never yearned before.

It was a night in August that changed everything. Bucky was in his office, reading over a file that Steve had brought to him, when he heard the thunder clap. He looked up to see the skies open up, rain beginning to fall in thick wet drops. Just as he was about to return to his work, he saw you run out into the garden. The rain quickened by the second all around you as you twirled in a circle, head back, a huge smile on your face. Bucky couldn’t control himself as he left his office, heading to the back door. Nothing else mattered to him, except the gorgeous girl dancing in the rain like a woodland fairy. 

For a moment he forgot who he was, where he was and how his next action would play out. His hands wound around your waist, startling you, your hair clinging to your skin as you met his gaze. Without any care in the world Bucky pressed his lips to yours, hands coming up to hold your face, holding you delicately like you would break in his hands. He wanted to mold himself around you, and never let you go. Your hands gripped onto his shoulders, feverishly matching his kiss with the same passion. One of his hands slid to the back of your head as the other one found its way to rest on your lower back, pressing you into him. He pulled away, grabbing your hand and tugging you into the gazebo, the heated look in his eyes made you shiver in anticipation.

The rest was a blur, a mix of messy kisses and roaming hands, as you explored one another. Soaked pieces of clothing were scattered about haphazardly, neither of your hands wanting to leave the other's skin for too long. The rain pattered on the roof of the gazebo, drowning out your moans as you rode Bucky, head thrown back in a different kind of pleasure. He gave over control, just like he gave over his heart, hands digging into your hips almost painfully. Your hands dug into the strong muscles of his chest and a broken groan had you melting further into him. A cacophony of emotions swirled in the air around you as you both reached your climax and you knew this was a point of no return. 

Bucky’s hand hit the glass window in front of him, remembering that fateful night. The night that changed his life. Right before he shattered everything. He still remembered the look on your face, still remembered the feeling of his heart shattering, still felt the regret of what he had done as soon as he did it. The rain pouring outside was increasing as he laid his head to the glass, letting the tears finally fall. He had watched you sleep that night, your gorgeous face peacefully as you probably dreamt of butterflies and flowers, and he knew he couldn’t keep you. He was glad he got to have you just once but tomorrow you would be gone and he would make sure of it. When Bucky left the bed that next morning, he left his heart beside you.

Little did he know, you were also sitting in front of a window watching the rain, in your little apartment across town. The cup of tea doing little to warm you up as the memories you usually kept at bay were crashing over you. 

You had woken up alone in Bucky’s bed, the soreness between your legs brought a smile to your lips as you remembered the night before. Bucky’s sweet words and lingering touches felt like brands on your skin and every flash of the night before caused your heart to soar. You quickly dressed and made your way downstairs, finding an empty house. A note on the door of Bucky’s office told you that he was out dealing with some business and would be back later. Your heart clenched at the impersonal tone of the note and you shook your head to clear your doubts. But the ice that had crept in, was chilling you to the bone. 

You went about your day doing your usual work, but the feeling of dread never left the pit of your stomach. The feeling worsened when you heard the front door open and close, Steve and Bucky’s voices sounding from the foyer. Your feet carried you into the hallway before you realized what you were doing and suddenly he was in front of you, his suit jacket laying on the floor, white button up covered in blood. For the first time you saw the man everyone was afraid of, the terrifying mob boss, his eyes dead as they looked up to meet yours. No they didn’t meet yours, instead they looked right through you. He nodded to Steve, who was looking at you with worried eyes but you couldn’t take your eyes off Bucky, who just brushed past you without a second glance. 

Like a magnet, you followed behind him as he went up to his office. Shutting the door behind yourself, you faced him, finding him sitting on the edge of his desk watching you. His expression was cold and vacant, no remnants of the man you knew. 

“Bucky?” You asked in a soft voice, slowly approaching him. His eyes watched you cautiously, as you put a hand on his forearm. “Are you alright?”

“Take your hand off me, y/n,” He growled, voice dripping with venom. Your eyes flashed up to his face, your expression shocked. “I’ve let you become too comfortable,” He continued, stepping away from his desk, causing you to take a step back. “And that won’t do.”

He continued to stalk towards you until your back hit the wall and he loomed over you. A tremor wracked down your spine and for once you were scared of him. His ring covered hand came up to grab your throat, pushing you flush against the wall and leaned into you until his nose was touching yours. Your hands wrapped around his wrist, trying with no luck to yank it off.

“What’s wrong little birdie? Cat got your tongue,” Bucky smirked, transforming into a complete stranger in front of your eyes. His hand tightened and tears welled in your eyes.

“Bucky, please,” You pleaded, desperate for the man you knew was in there somewhere. “Don’t do this!”

“Do what? I got what I wanted, there's no need for me to act anymore.”

“Act? Bucky you don’t mean that,” You protested, nails digging into his wrist. 

“Oh but I do sweetheart. Did you really think I felt more for you?” 

“You did, you do!” You cried, tears now streaming down your face, “Last night was real Bucky, you can’t deny that!”

Bucky shook his head, freeing you from his grasp as he began to laugh uncontrollably.

“Last night,” He choked out between laughs, “last night was nothing, I fucked you and you let me.” You wanted to smack the laughter right out of him, but you were frozen in place by the harshness of his words. His mocking laughter got louder with each passing moment, and you just couldn’t stay any longer. You ran out of that house as fast as your legs would allow, never looking behind you, as you got in your car and drove away. 

If only you had stayed just a little while longer, you would have seen Bucky’s laughter give way to body wrenching sobs as the man you loved fell to pieces. 

Your hand absently rubs at the ache in your chest, your heart still broken. Some days you wondered if it was all a dream, whether you imagined how Bucky felt about you. Your heart told you it was real but his words never left your thoughts, haunting you always. Tears streamed down your face, wishing you could go back and live it all over again, even though you knew how it would end. It didn’t matter as long as you were around him just for a little while. 

A sharp knock pulls you out of your head and you glance curiously at the door, wondering who was here in this weather. You detangle yourself from your blanket and walk over to the door, looking into the peephole. Your breath catches in your throat and you rush to open the door, revealing thoroughly soaked Bucky Barnes. His broken expression causes the ache in your chest to worsen but you keep your face blank, not giving him the satisfaction of knowing how close you were to breaking down. 

He runs a hand through his wet hair as he looks you over, making note of your tear stained cheeks and guarded expression. Taking a deep breath, he takes your warm hand into his cold one and finally speaks.

“I have loved you since the day I met you” 

“Bucky-, “ You begin to interrupt, but his other hand covers your mouth.

“Please let me finish and then you can tell me to go to hell if you want to,” Bucky begs, and you nod, unable to say no to him. “I have loved you since the day I met you and I knew if I let myself love you, I would ruin you. So for months I pushed you away, but you still found your way back. Somewhere along the line I stopped fighting it and let myself fall.” He stops for a moment, collecting himself before continuing. 

“I fell head first down the rabbit hole and I let myself drown in you. But that next morning, seeing you in my bed, I knew I couldn’t keep you because you were too good for the world I live in. So I lied and I broke your heart and I am so so sorry for everything,” His voice breaking on the last word as he drops his hand from your mouth. You look at him stunned, words escaping you. He waits as you gather yourself, bracing himself for whatever you were about to say. 

“Why are you here Bucky? Obviously nothing has changed, I’m still me and you’re still you,” You ask quietly, not having the strength to speak any louder. You didn’t understand why he felt the need to come here and tell you all this if he still couldn’t fit you into his life. Did he just enjoy breaking your heart repeatedly?

His hand reaches up to cup your cheek and you lean into it, enjoying the feeling. This wasn’t the response he was expecting from you, but he was going to fight with everything he had left. 

“I’m a selfish man, y/n and I don’t want to stay away from you anymore. I love you with every fiber of my being and I’m here to ask you to take me back, ragged edges and all. Nothing is the same without you and I can’t live another day in this colorless world. Please come back to me and set my world alight again.” Bucky’s blue grey eyes met yours, pleading with you to say yes. 

Words don’t seem like enough so instead your hands reach up, grabbing him by the lapels and kiss him hard. His hands find your waist, holding on for dear life and you know he’s never going to let go again.

#sweetlysad1kchallenge #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader

[dollslayer]

Fight or Flight

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve comes clean, in the aftermath and shock you turn to the one person who you know you can trust.

W/C: 2,369

Warnings: Implied cheating, angst, swearing

A/N: Hello! I wrote this for @sweetlyscared 's 1k celebration (congrats, it's well deserved!), prompt is in bold. I'm still pretty new to writing and this is my first true Angst fic so any and all reblogs/comments are super appreciated! Please check out my other stuff if you liked this fic!! Cheers!

PART TWO I Masterlist

____

The feeling of everything crashing around you was slow. Like your world was moving in slow motion as you processed the words. Everything else he was saying became distorted, going to waste as he tried desperately to explain himself to you. All you could hear clearly was your own breathing while you tried to will yourself to do something, anything.

Fight or flight is a funny thing, you were always so feisty and eager to fight back, A Bulldog, Steve had affectionately called you. But when he told you he was in love with someone else, that he has been in love with someone else for months, your body couldn’t find anything in it but to walk away.

Your breathing picked up and your eyes searched the ground, refusing to meet his. You felt your legs raise you up to stand and start walking away, unsure of your destination. When you pivoted to leave the room your eyes met his briefly, staring emotionlessly as his desperately searched for anything at all in yours.

“Where are you going? Doll, please, can we talk about this? I’m, I’m so sorry I-”

Whatever else he was saying wasn’t heard over the noise of opening the door and shutting it behind you. You didn’t know where you were going or what you were feeling other than the obvious. You were in a state of shock, it’s one thing to hear awful news and another to understand that it’s true but you were fastly approaching that truth head-on.

You paused for a moment in the hall and heard no movement come after you. You almost let yourself be surprised but he’d admitted he gave up on you a long time ago, so it only makes sense he wouldn’t fight your exit. You kept walking and tried to hold the floodgates of your heart closed for a bit longer.

Flashes of what was said come back to you slowly as reality sets in. “I can’t put this off any longer. I want you to know that I will always love you, but there’s someone else.”

Your head hurt like it would as if you were already crying, the blood pumping in your ears and pressure building in your temples that would no doubt evoke a long-standing headache. Your face felt hot as you stepped into the elevator, maybe you’d go for a walk in an attempt to fend off your tears. Or maybe you’d walk to a safer place to have an emotional breakdown. Whichever is easier.

Brisk gusts of air greet you as you exit the building, making you realize you left your jacket on the arm of the couch. You took a second to evaluate yourself and noticed you’d also walked out in your house slippers and a thin pair of leggings. Trying to evade the cold you tucked yourself in the doorway of a bodega down the street and dialed Bucky.

Two rings and he picked up.

“Hello?”

“Did you know?”

The silence on the line only reminds you of the blood pumping in your ears. The silence tells you everything you needed to know.

“Liste-”

You hang up.

You’re breathing even harder now. Who else knew? For how long? How long was I the joke? You need to find somewhere else to be soon or all these strangers are going to get an eyeful of a grown woman sobbing. You dial the last number you’d expect to at a time like this.

“What’s happening, shortstack?”

You can hear Tony’s grin through the phone and his easy greeting gives you momentary comfort.

“Can I come over? Something happened.”

“I’ll let Jarvis know to let you in” Tony’s tone is understanding, not needing you to explain further, just letting you know you can come to him.

____

Tony’s only seven blocks from yours and Steve’s shared apartment, a fact you’re grateful for when you feel your feet aching every time they hit the pavement. The conversation replays in your head, you try to word what happened in your head and your anger starts overtaking the heartbreak. It’s almost a welcome reprieve from the settling heartbreak but you’re not sure if you’d rather be numb to it completely.

When the elevator doors open Tony’s waiting for you with two tumblers of scotch in hand. You shake your head and move past him to the couch. He joins you on the opposite armchair and sets both his elbows down on his spread knees, resting his face in his hands.

“Would you like to talk about it or not talk about it?” He asks with a sigh.

You don’t make eye contact with him so you don’t cry, choosing to focus on the Iron Man coffee table book you’d gotten as a gag gift for Tony all those Christmases ago. It almost distracts you enough to laugh, the fact that he just has it out. But you need to tell someone what happened and get it all out before you can let yourself feel it all.

“Steveisinlovewithsomeoneelse,” You rushed it all out in one breath afraid if you didn’t get it out fast enough that you’d break. “He has been for months. He said he doesn’t know when it all changed but when he was with her things just clicked,” you paused to collect yourself, “But don’t worry, I’ll always hold a special place in his heart and he hopes this won’t affect the future of the team or our friendship.”

“Oh, and he’s really sorry.” you added.

You laughed bitterly and shook your head in disbelief. His delivery had been so cold but so sincere, very to the point but pained in its delivery. “I just, whatever we had, it’s just gone. Things are just different now, with her, this kills me though, please believe me. You’re still really special to me.” Bullshit. Special enough to act as a placeholder until someone better comes, special enough to cast aside.

You’re broken momentarily from your spiral into anger by the sound of a glass hitting a coaster a little too hard. Looking up, you find Tony quietly seething. He and Steve aren’t close by any means so you figured that he wouldn’t have known, it’s why you called him over anyone else.

He moves slowly to your side on the couch and pulls you into his side. You can smell his aftershave and what you think might be burned grease from one of the many things he’s been tinkering with in the lab, it smells like him, like comfort.

“That fucking asshole. Unbelievable, I don’t even…” He leaves the thought unfinished.

His hands move up and down your arms in a soothing motion and you finally let yourself have it. You don’t even realize you’re crying until you feel the tears wet his shirt when you bury your face in. You sniffle up tears and snot when your face heats up.

There’s no way to know how long Tony lets you sob into him, no doubt ruining his vintage Depeche Mode shirt. Somewhere in the back of your mind you make a mental note to buy him a new one later. But for now you’ll just allow yourself to cry and you can deal with the world in the morning.

____

Tony lets you fall asleep on his chest, feeling somewhere between furious and heartbroken by proxy. He thinks about letting you sleep and giving Steve a piece of his mind but figures that’s not what you need right now. Your phone sits on the table and he touches the screen to check the time. No notifications on your homescreen except for a missed call from Bucky and an old photo of Steve making a funny face as your background.

Had Steve not even tried to call you? Had he not even tried to go after you? Why was Bucky of all people the only one to be trying to get a hold of you? Prick.

Selfishly Tony is glad that he has a good reason to be rude to Steve now, he has to admit. You two had always been close but when you and Steve started dating he saw less and less of you. He couldn’t fault you for it though, you were so in love with Steve and you knew that the relationship between the two of them was strained so you kept your distance a bit.

He thought of all the sacrifices you’d made for Steve. You gave up your childhood home in the Bronx that your parents had willed to you to move in with him because he wanted you to be closer to the tower. You gave up a promotion and transfer to DC when you were still just an agent, granted you were an avenger now but it doesn’t matter, he’d made a very big deal out of you turning it down. You gave up the friendship the two of you had.

It was incredible, really. How much you had done for him only for him to turn around and love someone else behind your back. Brave enough to fight aliens and terrorists but too cowardly to break up with you and leave you with some dignity. Did anyone else know about this?

Tony had to stop himself from getting too angry, afraid he’d wake you up. So instead he went back to plotting up schematics for the half-finished suit mod he’d been in the middle of when you called.

____

It’s been a week and you still haven’t properly talked to Steve. After two days on Tony’s couch you need to look at things from a logical stance. Where am I going to stay? It’s not like you had your parent’s place anymore and you didn’t want to sign a new lease on an apartment. You could always move into the tower but that meant a higher chance of running into Steve.

You were thinking about all of this out loud to Tony when he offered you the guest bedroom in his penthouse. You were shocked, he’s always been a generous man but after you drifted apart from him you were surprised he even let you stay these past few days. Maybe now was a good time to rebuild your friendship with him and have some space from work.

What’s work going to be like? You agree and go on a temporary leave from the team, just a month to collect yourself. If you really wanted to you could go back but the thought of seeing everyone that knew about Steve’s affair was humiliating and enraging in one go.

It turns out Sam had been playing therapist to Steve in all of this, Nat figured it out through some sleuthing, and Wanda had inadvertently heard his thoughts about her. And none of them thought to tell you? To save you from the anguish but to let it fester? Steve wasn’t the only one that betrayed you. They all had.

What will I say to him? Should I say anything to him? Turns out the answer was ‘nothing’. You texted him to let him know you were moving out and you’d be by to get your things as a courtesy. You walked into an empty apartment and you were almost relieved.

He’d chosen to not be here but he’d left you a letter on the kitchen counter next to a framed photo of the two of you on vacation last year. You scoff but don’t touch the letter. Every ounce of restraint you have is being used as you leave it untouched. But you don’t need to know what excuses or apologies he has on deck, nothing he could say would exonerate him of his wrong-doings. You had no intentions of speaking to him but secretly you hoped he suffered as he stewed in his guilt and inner-turmoil. He deserves to.

When you pack you leave every gift he ever gave you, taking only what you’d brought with you in the first place. You take one look at the unmade bed and almost go to make it out of habit but then you think of the two of them there together. All the long missions you went on without him, all the times you stayed late at work or went out with your friends. How many times had he been here with her while you were there?

You end up only leaving with two suitcases and a backpack full of things. Tony waits for you in the lobby, understanding you wanted your space when you went to get your things in case Steve was there.

The elevator doors open to him taking a selfie with a couple of fans and shaking hands. He’s all too happy to be recognized but when he sees you his eyes soften. Not out of pity, but fondness, like he’s proud of you for getting out.

He sends you a questioning look with a silent question. Are you okay?

You smile at him and for the first time in days it’s a genuine, non-placating, happy-to-see-you smile. It’s okay, I’ll be okay.

He takes one of your suitcases from you and helps you load them into the back of the car before opening the door for you. The drive back to Tony’s is silent but comfortable. The trust you have in each other is strong and unspoken. Something you’ve always been grateful for between the two of you.

He doesn’t ask you about Steve or what happened, always letting you come to him first, which you appreciate. And when you talk he just listens. No bullshit unsolicited advice about moving on or how everything happens for a reason or getting back out there, just listens.

You know the road ahead is long and it will be difficult, but you have someone in your corner and the knowledge that what happened isn’t your fault and that you’re a badass and fuck Steve Rogers and fuck anyone else that did you wrong in all of this. Maybe you’ll forgive them someday but for now you’re gonna focus on you and work on building yourself back up. You’re ready for the ups and downs, you’re ready to fight.

#sweetlysad1kchallenge #steve rogers x reader #tony stark & reader #steve rogers angst #angst #implied cheating #marvel fic #marvel au #marvel x reader