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takeme-totheworld · 5 months

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Aziraphale and Forgiveness, Pt. 2: The Source of Salvation

This series is now complete! Here's where you can find the other parts.

Part 1 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here.

(This post ended up being way longer than I intended, oopsie! And no fun GIFs to break it up this time. Hope you like reading lots of words!)

So why would Aziraphale, an angel who has not fallen despite bending/breaking the rules many times, have so much emotional baggage around the topic of forgiveness?

Some disclaimers:

Disclaimer 1: I've seen enough of tumblr already to know that "does Aziraphale really have religious trauma?/how much does it motivate his actions?" is the subject of Discourse around these parts. I don't want to have that argument here. Aziraphale's experience with Heaven has strong parallels to my personal religious history, and those specific parallels are what I'm here to talk about.

Disclaimer 2: I am not a bible scholar or religious historian, if I mention specific church doctrines or bible verses it's only to illustrate the experience of growing up in my church. My actual biblical/theological accuracy may be sloppy.

Disclaimer 3: I haven't read Good Omens the book. I know there are differences, but I'm not addressing them. All my thoughts are about show!Aziraphale and show!Heaven only.

Okay. Here goes.

The next point I want to make is that Aziraphale has spent his life inside a system that has weaponized the concept of forgiveness. Because Heaven, in the Good Omens universe, operates a lot like a particular flavor of toxic Christianity that I happen to be very familiar with.

In the version of Christianity I was raised with:

Your only purpose is to serve God's will. Our own needs, wants, goals, etc, were all understood to be secondary to that purpose.

The specter of eternal punishment is always present. Like any self-respecting Evangelical church, we believed that if you weren't "saved" before you died, you would go to Hell and be punished forever. How do you make sure you're saved? Well...

The rules are not clear or consistent, so you're always left guessing. We were a Protestant denomination, so a foundational doctrine was "sola scriptura." (We weren't fancy enough for the Latin, though, we just called ourselves "bible-based.") The basic idea is that the bible is the word of God, it's infallible, and it's the only authority we need to follow. But the bible is a cobbling-together of texts written thousands of years ago, that have been translated multiple times. It's not self-evident to a modern reader what any given passage means. It contains internal contradictions all over the place. So...the bible is the only authority we need to follow, but it's confusing and needs interpretation. Enter pastors and other church leaders to help us interpret. Only...they each have their own pre-existing biases and preferred scholarly interpretations, so even within the same church, different pastors might have different ideas about things.

So, to summarize: Follow what the bible says! Don't understand what it's telling you? Ask your pastor! Different pastors give different answers? Ugh, you're thinking about this too hard. Go pray about it or something. Just figure it out.

New ideas and experiences are, at best, begrudgingly tolerated. Because doing God's will is your only purpose, remember? And the Bible (and your pastor) are the source of the only wisdom you need to fulfill the only purpose you have. So really, you don't need anything outside what the church has to offer you and it's all a distraction anyway. (...okay, if you really must, here's a watered-down, church-approved version of the thing, now shut up.)

This isn't just the church being a buzzkill. It keeps you dependent on them and ignorant of the outside world to whatever extent they monitor and censor outside influences. My church was not even that extreme about this, relatively speaking, but it was still enough to profoundly impact me and leave me confused and floundering in the larger world after I left.

No matter how hard you try to measure up, you're ultimately at God's mercy. So you spend your life trying to follow a bunch of confusing, opaque rules in the hopes that you can be "saved" and avoid eternal punishment. But here's kicker: none of it truly matters anyway, because we were also taught that everyone falls short in the end and that the only real salvation comes from God forgiving you for your sins. All you really have to do to be saved is accept his free gift of forgiveness...by...believing the right things in the right way and praying the right prayers about it. And then spending the rest of your life still trying to follow all the convoluted rules, because doing so is proof that you were sincere...in your acceptance of God's forgiveness...which you accepted by following even more instructions regarding what to believe and how to pray to ensure that you were accepting it correctly.

How do you know if you've done any of this right? You never can, truly, until you die and find out. Because God's not actually talking to anyone. So in the end, no matter what you do, you end up in the same place: at the mercy of God, who decides whether you're forgiven or not.

If you're thinking that sounds like an incredibly confusing and exhausting way to grow up, you are correct! It also has a lot of parallels in Good Omens.

If you are an angel working for Heaven in the world of Good Omens:

Your only purpose is to serve God's will. This one is obvious. If you're an angel, it's literally the only thing you were created for.

The specter of eternal punishment is always present. The eternal punishment that can happen to an angel is falling. We know it's a punishment, because we know Crowley's fall was painful and because we can see that Hell is a miserable environment for the demons. This isn't The Good Place, where demons gleefully sit around eating snacks in conference rooms and brainstorming new fun ways to torture humans. Hell in Good Omens sucks for everyone there. And we can assume falling is meant to be permanent, because if it wasn't Crowley and Aziraphale wouldn't have been so gobsmacked by the Metatron's offer to restore Crowley to angelic status. Because there's no precedent for that. Crowley himself says that being a demon has automatically rendered him unforgivable. As far as anyone in this universe knows, "fallen" is a permanent state.

So how does an angel avoid eternal punishment? How do angels make sure they don't fall? Well...

The rules are not clear or consistent, so you're always left guessing. Was falling a one-and-done mass exile of everyone who rebelled, right after the war? The way both Heaven and Hell talk about the fall and the "casting out" of the demons would seem to suggest so. But fear of falling is obviously ever-present among the angels, so they clearly don't know for sure one way or the other. And what would cause an angel who wasn't part of the original rebellion to fall? Aziraphale thought he would fall for lying about Job's children. The archangels threatened Aziraphale with falling for "consorting" with Crowley in S1. Gabriel expected to fall for saying no to Armageddon the Sequel in S2. But none of those falls actually happened. Clearly even the angels in the highest positions of authority don't know exactly what the rules are about falling. And who decides who falls? Gabriel says the demons were "cast out" after the war, but who did the casting out? Did God handle that directly? Was it the Metatron? Did the transformation just sort of...happen, leaving everyone unsure about the details? And what about present day? The Metatron said that Gabriel would have his memory wiped instead of falling, but does that mean the Metatron gets to decide if an angel falls, or was he covering for the fact that he doesn't know how it works either?

We, the viewers, don't know the answers to any of these questions. But it's fairly clear that the angels also don't know.

New ideas and experiences are, at best, begrudgingly tolerated. The angels know little to nothing about the world or humanity and are disdainful or outright suspicious of earthly experiences. In the case of the ones who have never been sent to Earth, this makes sense, although it begs the question of why there are so many angels who have never once been sent to Earth, the planet that is supposed to be central to the Great Plan.

It's obviously, at its core, about control and keeping the angels ignorant of anything that would broaden their perspective. But listen to how the angels themselves talk about it. When Gabriel sees Aziraphale eating sushi, he asks, "Why do you consume that? You're an angel." (Subtext: You don't need to eat, so what's the purpose of indulging in this experience?) When Aziraphale suggests he try the food himself, Gabriel starts talking about sullying the temple of his body or whatever. (Subtext: It's not technically forbidden but it would be a deviation from my function as an angel so I'm suspicious of it.) And look at Aziraphale himself. He lives on Earth for many hundreds of years before he can be persuaded to even try human food, and Crowley has to work at convincing him it's okay. He seems to know it's not forbidden but he's deeply distrustful of it anyway. (I have a theory that a holdover of this mindset is why he's so set in his ways, behind the times, and still more ignorant of humans that you'd expect in the present day, but this post is already too long.) The attitude cultivated among the angels is These things are not meant for us, we don't need them, and they are a distraction from our higher purpose, so it's better if we don't.

No matter how hard you try to measure up, you're ultimately at God's mercy. So, if you're an angel, you're meant to be doing God's will, and if you fail badly enough you can be punished forever by falling. But the rules are unclear, the way falling works is unclear, in most cases you're kept ignorant of everything but the bare minimum you need to know to do your job, God isn't talking to anyone, and the (seemingly) officially appointed Voice of God is also pretty remote and mysterious most of the time.

So the only time you'll ever know for certain that you've crossed the line is once you've already crossed it, when it's too late to do anything about it. At that point, the only thing that could save you from falling would be if God just...decided to be merciful, to grant you a pardon (i.e. to forgive you) and not do the casting out thing.

Believe it or not, I had to work really hard to keep this as short as it is. If you've read this far, I salute you. Now, what's the point?

Aziraphale and the other angels are part of a system where they understand very little, they have no real power, the stakes are eternal, and their only hope of escaping endless punishment if they fail is the possibility that God will decide to show mercy and forgive them.

Yes, in the real world this is all just bullshit spread by religious leaders to scare and confuse and manipulate people into compliance and in the world of Good Omens it's actually real. But the emotional impact of feeling that confused and powerless and at the mercy of a higher authority is going to be the same. Of course Aziraphale has some Big Feelings about the subject of forgiveness. Of course it's one of his favorite things. It's not just a nice thing you do for people. It's powerful enough to rescue someone from eternal punishment when nothing else can. Powerful enough to wield as a devastating weapon by withholding it. It's a tool of control in Heaven, but it's also the source of salvation.

I was going to segue from here into what I think the specifics of Aziraphale's mindset are, but it took me so many more words than I expected just to lay out the parallels between GO Heaven and (my experience of) real-world toxic Christianity so I'm gonna stop here. Next time I'm going to dig into what I think is happening in Aziraphale's head when he forgives Crowley, and also when he does things like shelter Jimbriel (a very forgiving action, even if the words "I forgive you" don't accompany it).

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 spoilers #character analysis #aziraphale #religious indoctrination #religious trauma #forgiveness #i forgive you #i'm very normal about this #this post is so long i apologize

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b0njourbeach · 1 month

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"Haha stupid lazy Lion go brrrr."

No.

Shut up and delete yourself from my sight.

I'll confess, My sight of Leona went approximately like this:

"Ohh, big kitty!" -> "Damn, he hot" -> [plays Book 2] "Damn.." -> [Has spent time to consume a lot of Leona content] "........"

Disclaimer: I'm continuously talking about Book 2, so if you don't want to get spoilered - Don't read it.

I have many thoughts on Leona, but the strongest one of them is:

"I want to hug his younger self/his inner child."

I know it's inside of him, hurting and damaged. All he ever wanted was to be loved, to be appreciated, to be *seen*. A child that longed for love but was starved for so long that it got used to the emptiness inside and now, as soon someone trues to show affection, he'll respond with verbal biting.

He's not an asshole by choice. Keeping his distance is the best defense to avoid getting attached.

Outside of Book 2, there's especially one event where he genuinely shows that he just wants to be seen: The Fairy Gala event (or better said his Fairy Gala Vignette). Vil pushed Leona further and further, nagging to no end and beyond until, at some point, Leona lashed out: "I've BEEN helping you out, and all you've done is find fault with every single thing I do. I followed your directions, and what did it get me? NOTHING. Not the slightest bit of progress." It might be my own interpretation of his words but I wholeheartedly believe that the whole Gala story reminded him of how nothing he ever does/did was ever good enough. It didn't matter what he did, it would never be enough. Vil kept nagging him, people at home keep seeing him as nothing more than the second prince, he was never enough. Which is also a reason why I believe he was so "full of himself" when he got the Fairies to be completely whipped: It was attention and appreciation for his work, for *him*. The Fairies didn't know he was Royalty, they didn't know he was the Housewarden of Savanaclaw, they knew nothing yet they were there, showing him attention and how much they loved his doing.

They gave a starving child the food it desperately needed.

If you're being constantly proven that nothing you do matters, if everything you've done is not enough, you slowly but surely stop trying. You stop trying because it doesn't matter anyways. You loose motivation, you end up in an endless circle of self-hatred and lack of motivation. You know you could and you'd know it would be good but it wouldn't be good enough, it wouldn't please anyone. Their judgmental eyes, their lack of praise, the lack of attention suffocates even the smallest amount of self-confidence and the pride you had in your own work. You stop trying because doing nothing at all hurts less than knowing it wasn't enough, again. Leona is smart and I have no doubts that he'd be actually an admirable Housewarden with excellent grades if it weren't for this huge issue in his mind. Additionally to that, I truly believe that he hadn't any intention of leaving school. In Night Raven, he was at least *someone*, he was Housewarden, the highest position in Savanaclaw. At home, he was no one and he had to deal with his family. Falenas part of the family shined brightly while he was the shadow, a dark disappointment. A nobody.

So why leave school? Why leave the only place where you were someone?

Many also dislike Leona for what he did to Ruggie. I don't blame them, I can understand their point but I think they often miss a point in his action: He didn't (only) do it for the sake of hurting Ruggie. Ruggie was/is his right hand, the probably closest person in Night Raven (Or his whole life, if we're being honest). Ruggie could've sucked up to many people - Even if it was only for Leonas money, Ruggie could've crawled up Kalims (Idias or even Rooks) butt or if it was for power, he could've gone for Malleus. But he didn't. His (seemingly) firstchoice was Leona.

Leona, out of all people.

Leona, the guy who starved.

And it was Ruggie, who saw Leona fail. Leona made a small mistake and their plan failed - And Ruggie knew it. He was there. So with all that has happened, the fact that Ruggie has seen his fall and I also believe that their very bond has turned uncomfortably sour in Leonas mind, so in the heat of events, there was only one solution: "If I fall, I'm dragging Ruggie down with me."

Additionally, I also believe that Leona instinctively took Ruggie simply because they could work things out in the case he was saved out of Leonas grip. Ruggie would have a problem with Leona for a certain period but in the end, he and Leona would still work together. In a slightly messed up way, he has shown confidence in their mutual trust (which has been proven later in Book 6).

Okay whew, now that I got my view on Leona out of my system, I'm adding some more Headcanons:

I can see him the kind of "I wanna unsubcribe of life but I ain't gonna do it myself".

One of the servants at home has a little daughter and she's the only one he's genuinely looking forward to see during holidays.

He pretends to not notice whenever something "disappeared" (via Ruggie) out of his room but knows. He just doesn't want to put himself nor Ruggie in the position of "You took that" (Secretly thinks "At least being Royalty has *some* positive aspects", aka helping Ruggie out with money without going out of his way to hand the money over to Ruggie. Kind of 'letting him hunt himself')

Has read an insane amount of books as a child (mainly to be by himself and escape reality).

If emotions overboil (which happens more often than expected from him), he lets them out when he's entirely alone (Still feels extremely ashamed after expressing emotions, even though no one noticed)

Does not own a single picture of himself - Neither as a child nor his current self. The only pictures/paintings existing are those his family wanted them to be done.

Despite saying he didn't remember how he got his scar, he knows. He knows and won't forget so easily (still has nightmares of it happening sometimes).

Everyone feared Leona as a child for the way he found his Unique Magic: As a child, he was practicing his magic when his father came a little too close to him and suddenly, the king experienced the very thing Ruggie went through: His skin began to crumble more by the second. Servants and doctors came rushing by, hoping to save the King but he would pass away shortly after from completely drying out.

I must add: I'm rather unhappy about the lost opportunity in Book 2, though. Leona is a well written character, but Disney didn't raise Book 2 high enough for Leona to reach his whole potential.

Edit: I forgot to mention that being compared to his brother countless times is bound to cause an unhealthy relationship with his brother, which can also result in further issues in Leonas' mental health. It doesn't matter how hard Falena will try to build up the relationship with Leona, they will (most likely) never have a "normal" sibling relationship.

#twisted wonderland #twst #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar headcanons #twst headcanons #🥀 twst

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starwell-tarot · 1 year

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PAC: One thought - one to remember, one to appreciate and one to let go of 🖍️

Pick a pile reading: What is one thought or idea you should remember (or keep in your mind), a thought or idea you should appreciate (and ponder), and one thought or idea you should let go of (or heal through).

Hope this can be some good insight or advice <3

Pile 1-3, left to right

Pick the highlighter you feel most drawn to. It's okay to pick more than one, you can feel attracted to multiple piles and read multiple interpretations.

Disclaimer: All my readings contain themes of mental and emotional struggles and pains as they strive to comfort those. I don't intend on rubbing you the wrong way and I'm doing this with the hope I can help people feel better, but if it doesn't work I might just not be the right person to comfort you.

Disclaimer: I'm not a mental health professional in any way. Although my tarot readings focus on giving emotional and mental reassurance, I can only give you as much as a friend could give you - encouraging words, friendly advice, a shoulder to cry on or a metaphorical hug. Please take in the information responsibly, and if your mental health is greatly affecting your day to day functions, please consider looking for a professional if possible. I'm afraid I can't be more than a tarot-enthusiastic friend.

Take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Take care of yourselves and remember hope is your best friend. 🖤

Pile one: Orange highlighter

° A thought to remember - XVIII The Moon

One must always remember the cycle of time; for time is meant for everything; there's a time to make mistakes, there's a time to fail an expectation, a time to dream, a time to act, a time to succeed and a time to be reborn. There is a time for everything. No matter the outcome, it was the time it appeared in your life. So do not fret over half baked decisions made yesterday, that did not fulfil tomorrow's aspirations, and simply realize just how time forgives all your mistakes, so you should forgive yours too.

° A thought to appreciate - II of Pentacles, XIX The sun, Ace of Cups

I hope this thought has actually crossed your mind, pile one. Because it very true. Time spent looking after yourself, recharging your battery, lifting up your own spirits, doing what love, what you crave, letting yourself be bathed in the healing light of the sun - that time can never be a waste. Maybe it's tough to fit it in your schedule, but it will be worth it. Figure out how to balance out your unhappy with your happy. (And if you don't know what your happy is, sunlight and bodies of water are showing up so consider a vacation 🌞)

° A thought to let go of - The ace of pentacles R

Let go of that little demon in your head that is always slapping your hand away whenever you want to reach out and do something for yourself. Before you can even get that candy you crave, you retract your hand away as if burnt. No more, let that go. Offer yourself the treat. Spoil yourself a little. Enlarge the amount of self love and care you think you deserve.

Pile 2: yellow highlighter

° One thought to remember - XI Sofia

Remember that you are in control of your own narrative. There is no one that knows better than you whether you're strong or weak, so do not let anyone else decide. Not even your doubts. You are smarter, stronger than your doubts or anyone else who doubts you - because at the end of the day, you know you're going to pull through. Decide what you're capable of and stick with it.

° One thought to appreciate - The Emperor R, VIII of Cups

Yes, it is true. You might not believe you're strong or brave, that you'll ever be able to enforce people to treat your fairly and with respect. You might not believe you are worthy of being admired and treasured. But it is, in fact true. It is time you take the hand of your inner child, that scared, lonely toddler living inside of you and show them walking on two legs is not that hard. It'll come naturally. And before you even know it, you're running and about to win the most important race with the most important trophy - being the person admire and love the most.

° One thought to let go of - The hierophant

Not every single advice, criticism and life philosophy your hear should have power over you. Maybe you're not meant to open the door, you're meant to break it down. Maybe you're not meant to bake an apple pie, you're meant to put mango in it. Do not fall into corruption. It's nothing personal, most people think they know the right way to live life, but they don't know the right way to live YOUR life. Don't fall into their hands, you are not play dough. While it's bad to completely ignore what other people say (for some advice can actually help), do take things with a grain of salt and allow your own thoughts to dictate your decisions.

Pile 3: Pink highligher

° One thought to remember - I The master of Secrets

As noble as the search for truth is; the protection of mystery is just as noble. You don't have to understand everything - sometimes you can let things be, exist and be felt, like the vibrations of nature. For every book you've read, for every question you've answered, for every philosophy you've pondered, believe in magic once more. Believe your charisma, a word and a thought powerful enough, they can bring you gifts of blessings. Allow yourself to be heard, but then again - don't speak too loudly when around those who want to stomp on your magic. Choose when to be someone's solution, or someone's question.

° One thought to appreciate - VII of swords R, V of pentacles R, Queen of pentacles R

Your past really doesn't define who you are. "Your past made you who you are today" is major bull. No, it just gave you trauma and bad habits that need to be worked on and rewired. But they can. The scars can heal and you can let go and forgive everything that once was, forgive everything you once were. You should never blame yourself for not knowing better. You know better now. Your future starts now, so instead of constantly betraying your past and trying to revenge on the person you once were, start catering and showing love and care towards the you right now, who needs a hand to hold, and a warmer mind and heart to be with.

° A thought to let go of - II of swords

You are not trapped, pile number 3. When overwhelmed, a feeling which must be thoroughly validated, we seem to not see a way out. But there always is one. In every single movie, you always see the main character bust out of jail with a spoon, a pin, a misplaced brick. Use all that you can, try all that you can. Gather up your courage to fumble in the dark until the blindfold comes off and you finally see all the opportunities in the world. Even if it takes some time, you got this. You will find sight of what you need.

R means reversed.

Let me know if the pile you picked resonates with you! 😎

If you like my work, consider donating to me so I can continue doing tarot readings!

©starwell-tarot do not copy or repost

#daily tarot #pac reading #tarot #tarotdaily #tarotblr #pick a card #pick a pile #free tarot #positivity #self care #self healing #mental health #tarot readings #pac

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knightsteapot · 1 year

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☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ TALKING ABOUT WANDERER II

Hello again, here you have the second part of my Kuni/ Scaramouce analysis.

Disclaimer: I just did some research and everything but remember that what you’re going to read is a theory or a bunch of ideas, we don’t have anything in canon so for now let’s pretend this is how this puppet works. Also, I know some shit about psychology but don't take me too seriously, please!

In my first analysis, I was talking about his body and a little bit of his mind, not behavior because that’s not where I wanna focus. If you haven’t read the first part I recommend you to do it before reading this second part.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ PHYSICAL STRUCTURE

He doesn’t have bones, of course, this is logical, he’s not human, so the material his skeleton is made of must be some sort of metal, taking into account that yes, the archons might be capable to do what humans can’t but still have to work with materials that already exist. His body, despite his size, is heavier than a real human with similar proportions; not only Kuni has this attempt of a skeleton inside but also a complex system that allows him to move, fight, dance, eat, and even think.

Something curious I noticed was how when you use his ultimate some parts of his skin are bright. I interpret this as divine marks, it’s very possible that if you take a look at him naked you’ll notice marks on his neck, chest, and hips. My theory is that usually, those marks are purple, representing electro because his mother is the electro Archon but once Kuni uses his vision these marks turn green, for two reasons: its a symbol of how anemo, his freedom, is part of him, claiming the marks of a negligent mother and make them his own marks. The second is easier, Kuni is still a divine creation, Archon’s hair gets bright when they use their ultis, Kuni hair doesn’t do that but his body does. He’s not any puppet/robot like Katherine.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ TRAUMA, FEELINGS AND BRAIN

That being said, we’re going to explore canon things just because: Kuni is beautiful, is pretty and he knows it. His skin, hair, and voice are smooth, the shogun indeed created a divine being, this said, Kuni is not only beautiful outside but inside. I’m not saying he has a heart of gold and is a good boy, no, the Shogun made Kuni with an angelic appearance and the ability to feel, that’s what makes Scaramouche so precious and at the same time so vulnerable:

He can feel the whole range of emotions, just like a human, and as a human, he doesn’t have control over his emotions, his emotions control him, this in addition to his experiences make a very dangerous cocktail. Scaramouche feelings run so deep that he developed trauma, the second most obvious: Dottore’s abuse which probably originated a PTSD

Low HP line: I'm used to this. Kuni is used to pain, however, I don’t think the pain he feels can even compare to human pain, as Dottore said, he was the perfect candidate for his extreme resistance. Extreme resistance doesn’t mean Kuni can’t be in pain, it only means he couldn’t die or beg him to stop.

He can cry, hate, and feel pity as we know, but he can be considerate too. Birthday line: Give me your hand. Heh, there's no need to be nervous. I'm just taking you to a vantage point.

How is it? The scenery here should be quite breathtaking. There's no need to thank me — I see little point in it.

But that’s not all, his brain not only processes feelings but also has the ability to fantasize, foresee the outcome of some situations, and create imaginary scenarios, this is proven in the Archon’s quest and his plan to become a god, he had expectations and goals, he imagined an outcome, he fantasized about a future in which he was a god, but he also, in the past, dreamed of having a heart even though that wasn’t possible for a creature like him. It suggests that Kuni might have the ability to dream while he sleeps. Dreaming is not a super complex process, even animals can dream but for a puppet, an artificial creation to be able to do all the things I mentioned? well… That’s another level.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ MOMMY ISSUES AND EXTRA INFO

In addition to this, I’d like to mention that Kuni has mommy issues, but please, don’t think it's about him wanting a “mommy” or having a “mommy kink”, it’s completely different. Kuni has mommy issues because he was abandoned by his creator, this disconnection makes the person, in this case, puppet unable to understand his emotions and have a hard time understanding the emotions of the people around them, they can get attached easily (as we saw in his story), they can be in extreme yielding (something we can see in his past and in the present when he forgets his memories) but also can be evasive, and having very low self-esteem. Sounds familiar? yeah, yeah, I know.

Having mommy issues can be also related to the types of attachment, in my opinion, Kuni has a disorganized attachment, and it’s sad because this makes his life and the way he interacts with others extremely difficult and tiring. Some characteristics of this type of attachment are:

Fear of rejection.

Difficulty with intimacy.

Low self-worth.

Poor emotional regulation.

Fear of abandonment.

Extreme distance or extreme closeness.

Resistance to forming secure attachments.

Trust issues.

Sounds like him, right? and it breaks my heart, holy shit, why, why my baby had to suffer so much? Ah, okay, but to finish my analysis I’ll throw in some extra facts I’ve been thinking of:

If he can cry his eyes should be humid and soft, not like a doll’s eyes.

If he can cook, he can smell and must have some sort of taste buds.

If he feels pain, he can feel cold and hot temperatures, again, not like a human would do.

If he can eat, which is pretty much canon (not that he needs to eat, he just can eat) he can process the food and dispose of the components he doesn’t need.

And if he is so complex and physically he can do all that, is very possible he can have an erection, yes, you can rest in peace now, kunihoes, I got you, but he can’t create life, it’s not possible no matter how much I tried to make it work.

And that’s all, babies. I hope you enjoyed my analysis and agree with me when I say that Kuni is more human than he thinks! Poor little rabid kitten, he just needs some hugs, kisses, therapy (thank you Nahida!), and sex. Thank you for reading 💕

#☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ knight of the peony #genshin impact #kunikuzushi #wanderer x reader #Scaramouche #sumeru #nahida #wanderer genshin x reader #scaramouche x reader #the balladeer

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fizzingwizard · 9 months

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Something else I love about Moomins...

When I was a kid, like nine or ten years old, I had a book called What Kay Did. In the book, Katy is a selfish and mean young girl, who falls off a swing and I think breaks her back or something. As a result, she can't walk, and is cooped up inside and miserable. Little by little, she learns how her nasty behavior made her siblings afraid of her and not want to be with her, and now that she can't go out and amuse herself, she's really dependent on them for fun. So she learns to be nice. She becomes almost saintly, really.

Then, near the end of the book, the family finds out that there's a possibility that Katy will be able to walk again. And instead of being happy for her, the siblings say, "But she's become so nice since she got hurt. If she heals, will she be mean again?" Fortunately, Katy both relearns how to walk, and stays nice, so everyone's happy.

I hated this book. And it's not like, as a kid, I wasn't familiar with moralizing children's books where the main character learned a lesson and grew into a better person. I knew exactly what the book was doing. I just hated it. And I also knew that the siblings weren't meant to be interpreted as cold and indifferent for their lack of enthusiasm on hearing Katy might walk again. It's probably realistic even, if you've been bullied by someone before, to worry that a return to the circumstances where they bullied you would trigger it again. Still I hated them. I hated the book for telling me Katy had to behave a certain way for her to deserve to walk. Even though the way she used to be was truly awful. And I hated the book for requiring me to sympathize with the siblings, who had been treated badly by Katy, when what I really thought was that their resistance her recovery, however brief, was worse than anything she'd done to them in the past.

I hated being told what to think. I hated being preached at about right and wrong. And more than anything, I hated that Katy went through a character arc so dramatic that, in the end, she was completely unrecognizable as the girl in chapter one. That was meant to be good thing, because chapter one Katy was an asshole. But even as a kid, I didn't believe people change that much. Katy ended up more or less a saint. Always kind, always giving, always patient. Because of that, her relearning to walk came across like a reward for being a good person.

I haven't picked up this book again since I was a kid. So I may be forgetting important points. It's always possible I'd feel differently as an adult. That's my disclaimer, but i don't really think so. Because it's not like this kind of book was unusual. Another one comes to mind, the title of which I've forgotten, which was about a plate. In the world of plates, if you let just anyone eat off you, you wound up a dirty paper plate no one wanted. But if you waited and remained pure and clean, one day the King himself would change you into a beautiful porcelain plate and you'd be part of his household. It was a metaphor for Christianity and for virginity. It was more preachy BS.

Part of the reason I hated it was because I really took it to heart. I felt that I was horrible like Katy, and that unless I could achieve her saintliness, I would be always coming up short. Every time I committed a sin, even just in my head, I felt like I was back at square one. And I was doomed to fail, because of course it's impossible to be as good as Katy. We can change some. We can strive for self-improvement. But we'll be fighting our demons forever. (And in the book's defense, I believe I remember a scene where Katy admits she still struggles with her temperament later on, but she does her best not to let it affect her siblings.) With the plates, same thing: you can't live a totally pure and clean life. No one can. In Christianity, that's supposed to be a prerequisite for being human: we are all sinners, all of us. The goal is to try your best to live a righteous life and to be humble. But there's so much judgment and so many attacks on people who falter, and so much smug superiority among those who are convinced they are living righteously.

The Moomins books say something completely different. They were about self-acceptance. "All nice things are good for you," Moominmamma says. That would never fly in my Christian children's literature. And it's not like the Moomin book were anti-religious. (on a tangent: I wondered if what Moomintroll left under the fir tree, the thing that he didn't even tell Snufkin about, was meant to be him giving his soul to God on Christmas. It's impossible for me to tell whether I read that story right or if my deeply religious upbringing is screwing with me again.)

The Moomins don't say it's fine to be a bully or it's fine to do things that hurt you or others. But they don't go around breaking your back for being a bully or rejecting you eternally for not doing what you're told. Things happen in Moomins - characters make choices in step with their nature, and although they rub each other the wrong way sometimes, it always turns out that there was this or that reasoning and no one's really right or wrong. They're all just people. Moomins doesn't expect you to ever try to be perfect. And hiding your demons doesn't protect your family from them, rather it creates more distance between you and makes it harder to support each other and feel supported.

Characters in Moomins aren't so dynamic. But they also aren't completely stagnant. No character would undergoes the vast change that Katy did, or the complete transformation of the porcelain plate. Instead, characters are confronted with themselves again and again. And, again and again, they learn to accept themselves warts and all. A hemulen is a hemulen, a fillyonk is a fillyjonk and it's no use for them to try to be anything else, because that's what they are. Sometimes they're fed up with it and yearn to be anyone else. It's only natural, because no one is perfect, so we can always find bits of ourselves to hate. But inevitably they'll miss themselves. It's when characters listen to voices that tell them they're not enough, whether those voices are internal or external, that they become nasty and mean and mistreat each other.

There are no real bad guys in Moomins. We can only wonder what would happen if someone really mean were ever introduced. But the stories aren't missing such a character - they especially aren't missing the chance to chastise their young readers for their imperfections and urge them to be righteous because otherwise, hell awaits. I much prefer the take that everyone has their own personality and temperament and history, which informs their actions, and that most of the difficulties people have with each other come from not respecting that. You can't have a community by forcing everyone to be the same. A community is different people making the same choice to support each other's differences.

Actually, there is one bad guy in Moomins. It's the aunt in "The Invisible Child." Notably, she doesn't feature in the story. The story is about helping Ninny. About Ninny learning that she is important. That she doesn't deserve to be mistreated and degraded, her every misstep nitpicked. That her wants, her needs, her voice matters. Her cruel aunt doesn't matter at all. So she's not part of the story.

And, when Ninny rediscovers who she is, she's praised in this way: "She's even worse than Little My." I wonder how different Katy's story would have been, if she had Little My to knock some sense into her, without also sapping her of her individuality. I bet that plate never would have become porcelain either, but would have enjoyed life in the Moominhouse cupboard just as much.

#moomin

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sugarwithtea · 1 year

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nobody doesn't know anymore | myg

everyone knows, what loneliness can do to a mind. his mind is something that likes to use negatives, if only to complicate his feelings. yoongi is at the edge, thinking about everything that has built him into the man he is. then what is it that he still craves for? nobody doesn't know — because everyone knows it's not him, but his loneliness thinking.

pairing ; no pairing ft. yoongi

rating/genre ; pg // angst, idol au.

wc ; 1.4k

warnings ; thoughts about past, heavy use of metaphors (forgive me), my bad interpretation of people pt 2, hard childhood, inner turmoil, feelings of grief and loss.

note ; i wrote this so quick. people made me think so so so much. and i am in no way saying that this is what he is talking about in the song, so mind me. it's just that this song inspired me to write this. take this as a disclaimer but m not claiming that these are yoongi's thoughts — these are mine. if you understand what I'm trying to deliver, have my kisses please. listen to people pt 2 ft. iu by agust d for that's what compelled me to write this lol. again, this might not make much sense and idk how I've ended it! also, this is unedited hehe. for we die on this hill.

masterlist | taglist

---

Yoongi likes to think he has accomplished a lot in his life, but even that is a lie. And he knows that.

He had a dream when he was in middle school, and the years he had put into achieving it had been lengthy, and stressful. There were stretched moments of happiness too, where he had found himself at peace, proud of himself. But come today and he feels like there's a hole inside him.

He feels hollow. His heart still craves for more.

The dim light of his bedroom falls on his eyes and he breathes easily, taking in the air conditioned air with his eyes fluttering shut.

His mind drifts to his years of being a rebel, always disappointed by the ways of the world, and his lips quirk a little. Oh how foolish he was to think that he will be able to change it, that he will be able to see a place different from the one he has seen. With his eyes closed he shakes his head, thinking about the time he had realized how wrong he was.

The world is not going to change. It has billions of years in the making, and he, a mere man in his twenties, who has hardly seen the depth of the people living in it, has no chance of changing it. People might think he has seen a lot, known a lot, and is familiar with the ways of a lot – but the truth is that his knowledge has always been bound by his interests. He learns about the things he wants to know about, he doesn't go and seek answers for the questions which have never made their way into his mind.

His fingers twitch on his chest. He has always had this innate desire of being at peace. But even now, when he is supposed to feel it, his heart aches for something else. And maybe it's a shot in the dark, but the thought of an emotion that is so raw, but still built with layers of other feelings is what makes him crave for it.

His childhood years were not easy. He hadn't received the love, the support for which he had yearned. He was like a soul treading on, towards the light he had seen at the end of the dark tunnel he was residing in. But after years of his walking in the dark, when he had finally felt the light hit his withered, lifeless skin – he had grimaced and squinted his eyes. It had taken him a long time to get accustomed to that feeling, the raw warmth and the peaceful breeze.

His steps though, they never stopped. He had walked on and on, and had met a few too many travelers on his way, some of them joining him on his journey. Now that he had found the light, he didn't know what he was aiming for. Maybe just sit on the shore he could so clearly see, dip his feet in the sand and have conversations with the ones who had felt him worthy enough to join.

He had reached the shore too, pride swelling in his chest as the sand touched his feet. He had dipped his ankles in the warmth, and had enjoyed the softness. His greed, never ending, had compelled him to walk towards the water, hand in hand with his companion. He had perched himself at the edge, at the line where the warmth of the sand met the cold waves. His feet were no longer dipped in the grains, but in the cold water which washed away any remnants of the warmth he had yearned for.

The calmest of waves, had washed away something he had been wanting for so long. And that had him recoiling from there, leaving his companion's hand and looking back at the water as if he was burned. He was again in the sand, but the grains stuck to his feet, no longer making him feel warm, but irking him. He had run back, forgetting there was someone washing themselves in the waves for him. His selfishness had made him blind, and in his haste he had stumbled and fell on the ground.

That night the tears were thick, rolling down his face like the waves he so despised. For now there was no one to hold his hand and breath his scent – they had already been taken by the calmest of the oceans. The moon in the sky was covered by the clouds, and the only light he saw was a distant lighthouse. But he was tired, and he hated the water, so he made his house on the shore.

Now when he looks out of his window he doesn't see the light, for it had been taken from him the moment he had recoiled from the waves. He thinks he was selfless, because he hadn't brought his partner back, letting them revel in the peace the water provided. But even he knows how wrong he is – how the water did little to ease them, and so much to unnerve them when they saw how it affected him.

He still goes about his day with chivalry. Hoping that someday he will meet someone who will make him feel less lonely.

When he thinks back on that day, he realises he never feared loss, but the dread that came with it. He feared the possibilities, the future that will come with it. Maybe he never truly loved them, but the thought of being alone again was so daunting that he had folded like paper and fell on his knees when he had lost them.

He remembers the sandcastle he had built with them, the one which had been taken down by the calmest of assaults. Later when he had come to terms with the reality of him being alone, he had thought how people were fleeting, how feelings were fleeting. How easy is it to build something with someone, and easier for it to crumble down into nothingness.

So far away, that day, that feeling, that person. Everything is so far away from him, he can do nothing but sigh. When he had though that life was a struggle between revolt and submission, he was wrong. It was a struggle against loneliness. For he had rebelled, and surrendered but never did he understand the true sadness, until he was left alone, all on his own.

With eyes closed and breaths steady, he moves his hand on his bed, searching for his abandoned notebook. He needs to write, or else the calm breaths will turn ragged soon – and he can't risk it again.

On a page, he has already written down some lines. Has also scratched out some lines.

Maybe I didn't recieve enough love

Forever is a sandcastle, even with gentle waves, it collapses without resistance.

He scoffs, rewriting the lines and scratching the ones written before again.

Wasn't loved enough as a kid,

That's why I'm the cautious type.

Forever's something like a sand castle, you know.

It comes crumbling down at the calmest of waves.

He rubs his thumbs on the side of his pen, his tongue peeking out and brows furrowed. It's his countenance when he is in the mode of deep contemplation, and right now he is thinking if he should write about his loneliness or not.

Someone had once told him that a song tells the story the artist wants to say, and it can also communicate with the artist – telling them things they need to hear, not want to. With that in mind, he shakes his head and writes down a few more lines.

The say life's a struggle between resistance and submission.

I say it's a struggle against loneliness.

If you can't hold back, it's okay to cry.

He takes a deep breath before writing down the next line.

You're already more than enough to be loved.

His heart swells at that. Maybe he won't have to battle with himself every day. If he is able to accept that he is capable of being loved, he will come to terms with his future, his present too.

His journey has been fulfilling, he has discovered himself. And his feet land on the floor of his bedroom, thinking that maybe some day, he will have a hand to hold on to, without feeling the guilt that eats at his insides.

Because the greed that he wanted to give up was of no use, and his selflessness only caused him more pain. Maybe this time, he will be selfish, wishing for something which he will never let go. Something which has layers and a string of emotions strung together like a necklace – Love.

Because he knows that everyone knows. And nobody doesn't know anymore, that loneliness has been the root of all his desires.

---

taglist : @jinsquishes @jeonkookiesworld @sailoryooons @jjkeverlast @aliimac @gimmethatagustd @namjoonwhoresworld @apotatomashedbybts @synnfulqt @saweetspoiled @chimchimmarie @sugababylove84 @axigailxo @yoongukie-ff @instabull @graycosco @wobblewobble822 @jungkooksseuphoria @kalea10 @yoongimarryme3 @jminssiii @cowboylikeyoongi @sashs-posts @iwishselena

please reblog, give feedback or comments to lmk your thoughts. it helps tremendously!!

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leverage-ot3 · 3 months

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What are your k drama recommendations??!? I need new ones

omg my time has come thank you anon for giving me the opportunity to ramble about shows

I ended up talking WAY too long so I'm putting everything after the first one under the cut

all of us are dead- show about high schoolers as a zombie apocalypse starts. very funny and relatable, literally they call the police and are like 'have you seen train to busan?' bffrrn. has a lot of social commentary and there are references to the sinking of mc sewol (a cruise that sunk where the captain deserted it and left a large amount of high schoolers to drown). commentary about how adults save themselves first/leave youth to fend for themselves. one of my comfort shows and although they didn't intend for more seasons, it was received so well that they have been renewed! I am also an ot4 truther and sometimes talk about them on my international shows sideblog: @nam-on-jo

sweet home- (disclaimer: I am not caught up and have not yet seen s2 which came out a little while ago) honestly I have no idea how to explain this so I'm gonna copy-paste the blurb: as humans turn into savage monsters, one troubled teenager and his neighbours fight to survive and to hold onto their humanity. basically people turn into monsters for [redacted] reasons and everyone in his large apartment building is stuck inside trying to fend for their lives.

my name- I'm just going to paste the blurbs going forward because it's easier: Following her father's murder, a revenge-driven woman puts her trust in a powerful crime boss -- and enters the force under his direction. bro some of these twists I expected but others caught me off guard. I love the main character and am a little gay for her but I think that's valid because she's a bamf. there was a plot point at the end of the second to last episode that I really didn't like and made me very upset. narratively I get why they did it but it made me sad so I'm still pissy. might get around to writing a fix-it fic one day when motivation strikes because my girl deserves better things.

the guest- a detective, a catholic priest, and a psychic join forces to fight crime caused by supernatural forces. not to say they are my ot3 but they kinda are. (other ppl interpret it is a lesbian and her two bi/gay bffs which I also accept but. ot3 tho). LOVED every twist and turn and how the three of them go from not trusting one another to being family. genuinely one of my favorites from all the kdramas I've watched over the years and I want to rewatch it again soon

happiness (tvn)- The residents of a high-rise apartment fight for their lives against a deadly infectious disease while Sae-bom and Yi-hyun try to find the person because of whom the virus spread. bro I adored this. some characters annoyed me (which means they were written effectively) but it has so much. fake dating/marriage (they wanted a better apartment lmao). annoyances to lovers. mean/rude woman soft for sunshine man. what you will do for the people you love. morals and humanity during a catastrophy. *smacks show* you can fit so much into this. no but seriously, I thought this was a really interesting take on the zombie virus! so some of the time you come off completely asymptomatic and 'normal', so people can get away with acting normal and hiding the disease around other people, so the paranoia and mystery is REALLY amped up. had me guessing a LOT. sae-bom and yi-hyun are both cops/detectives and you find out really early (ep 1/2?) that sae-bom is immune which gives a really interesting dynamic that leaves her (to yi-hyun's exasperation and heightened blood pressure levels) to be kinda reckless in the pursuit of truth and salvation. I'm rambling now because this is making me watch to rewatch but yeah as a zombie/dystopia/apocalypse lover this was a good watch. it's more story-focused than violence-heavy which was a cool and refreshing twist

alice in borderland- okay y'all I am aware people had mixed feelings about s2 but overall I did enjoy the series. 'Obsessed gamer Arisu suddenly finds himself in a strange, emptied-out version of Tokyo in which he and his friends must compete in dangerous games in order to survive.' what can I say, I love a dystopian-esque setting.

the silent sea- imma be real, I only watched it for loml bae doona from sense8. 'During a perilous 24-hour mission on the moon, space explorers try to retrieve samples from an abandoned research facility steeped in classified secrets.' basically earth is in severe crisis mode as they run out of water to drink. water has recently been found on the moon, and although there was a mysterious tragedy that happened previously to researchers looking for water in a base on the moon, they have reached a level of desperation where they have another mission to look for moon water. mystery, paranoia, a couple of good twists ensue. I thought it was pretty good even though I have some mixed feelings about the open ending.

semantic error- yes I am sliding a bl into this list. bitch you thought. of course my bl-loving self would mention this (I forgot about it until I looked up good kdramas to remind myself of stuff I have watched). 'A strict, rule-abiding computer science major must work together with an artist with a polar-opposite personality to his.' confident cool boy meets bitch boy. it's great.

and of course...

leverage con artists- I would be fired from running this blog if I didn't mention the beloved korean spinoff of leverage. 'The series follows the story of Lee Tae-joon, a former insurance investigator who forms a team of thieves and con artists to target the rich and wealthy. The team was also formed to avenge Tae-joon's son's death.' I've posted about it before so I won't go super into it but it's VERY camp, a good time, and the ot3 is alive and well. debatable more overt than their predecessor!

other mentionables:

I tried watching kingdom (again for bae doona) but couldn't really get into it. might try again later because it's critically acclaimed (I think) and has even gotten a spinoff series

my roommate really liked mr queen. I didn't really pay attention when we were in the same room and they were watching it but it's fruity

the island on amazon prime was good! interesting plot but not in my top 10 or anything. worth a watch if you're looking for a kdrama to watch in your spare time. features girlboss businesswoman being thrown into a world of the supernatural because [redacted]. supernatural black horse man keeps her safe while keeping a life-changing secret.

let's fight ghost was a thai show that I saw and loved that was adapted into a kdrama called bring it on ghost, but honestly I couldn't get through it because I liked the thai one better.

train to busan is technically a movie but it's iconic and well-known and I highly suggest watching it if you like zombie/apocalypse movies. disclaimer: kdramas do not have the slow 'walker' zombies. they are fucking fast and the stuff of my nightmares. would probably just jump off a bridge if this actually happened ngl

I did think that extraordinary attorney woo was cute. I never finished it and know that there are VERY valid criticisms about the perpetuation of media portraying people with autism in the stereotypical savant ways. however, I liked how the love interest accepted her for who she was, loved her because of who she was and made efforts to accommodate and learn how to comfort her in ways that would work for her

business proposal was pretty decent if you like lighthearted romance- I didn't finish it but would like to at some point

tale of the nine tailed was another one that my roommate and I started watching but never finished. it was alright! just lost interest

shows on my watchlist:

black knight (netflix)- 'In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on a group of deliverymen known as the Black Knights who navigate the wastelands using unconventional means.'

copycat killer-

hellbound (netflix)-

shop for killers (hulu)- 'A nephew who lost his parents and grew up in the hands of an uncle who runs a shopping mall faces a new truth after his uncle's sudden death.'

the legend of the blue sea (viki + hulu)- 'A magistrate's plan to release mermaids into the ocean backfires when they're caught by fishermen.' (legit I just miss mermaid media)

gyeongseong creature (netflix)- 'In the city of Gyeongseong in 1945, a group of young people thinking only of their own survival encounter a monster born of human greed and ask themselves what humanity is.'

dark hole (viki)- 'A mysterious black fog from a petrochemical factory's sinkhole turns people into bizarre figures; people who are not infected try to survive in this middle of pandemonium.'

the cursed (multiple)- 'An enthusiastic social issues reporter, fighting against the evil hidden behind an IT conglomerate, meets a teen-age girl who is possessed by a spirit and has special abilities.'

blood (multiple)- 'Dr Park Ji Sang believes in the sanctity of human life, and struggles to treat terminally ill cancer patients and save lives while at the same time being a vampire.'

the ghost detective (viki)- 'In this horror thriller drama, a detective who catches ghosts tries to solve the case of his younger sibling's death with the help of his assistant.'

possessed (netflix)- 'A smart-mouthed detective and a reclusive psychic medium join together to get rid of the ghost of a murder who was executed 20 years ago.'

connect (hulu)- 'A man is kidnapped and one of his eyes removed by a gang of organ hunters; his eyes was transplanted into body of a serial killer; the unwilling donor now has terrible visions as he witnesses terrifying attacks on the residents of Seoul.'

and now just because so many of these only have het romances, I looked up k-dramas with lgbtq representation... (some of these recommendations were from articles from screenrant, movieweb, this subreddit, herzindagi (bl-focused), allkpop)

schoolgirl detectives (viki)- 'Five teenage girls join together to investigate mysterious incidents that occur at their school, as well as help classmate deal with bullying, depression and other crises.'

be melodramatic (netflix, viki)- 'Three 30-year-old best friends, Jinju, Eun-jung and Hanju each pursue different paths in both career and love. Despite life's difficulties, the three friends can always return home at the end of the day and support each other.'

lily fever (available w/subtitles on youtube)- 'The story revolves around the budding relationship between Kim Kyung Ju and Jang Se Rang who meet when Kyung Ju can't find her passport and has to go to her friend's house to try and find it.'

love alarm (netflix)- 'In a world in which an app alerts people if someone in the vicinity likes them, Kim Jojo experiences young love while coping with personal adversities.'

nevertheless (netflix)- 'The story of a romance between a man who is annoyed with relationships but likes to flirt and a woman who wants to date but does not believe in love.' (wlw side couple romance)

#i worked on this while the other half of the screen was zoom (i was just supervising don't worry) and this post is now WAY too long #so i'm stopping here #jackie talks #about me #mine #asks #answered asks #anon asks #kdrama #kdramas #international shows #my recommendations #other media #read more

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accio-victuuri · 1 year

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CPN : Candies from Sunshine By My Side ( filming wrap ) ☀️

I may miss some minor candies but that’s just how it is cause people may interpret things differently. It’s just so nice to see new content from and XZ, and the fact that Sheng Yang is so cute! can’t wait to meet him!

some things already discussed previously:

night light fake rumor

same sun emoji used

disclaimer : everything below is cpn, speculation and interpretation that is very bjyx bias. if you’re not into that then please leave.

━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━

I wanna start with ZZ’s general aura and disposition during the wrap, and how happy he was. It’s really nice to see him be among a group of people that seems to dote on him and that he can be comfortable with. You can probably see some double standard talk going around, that yes, during CQL wrap, he was also happy — however, in the last day, there were moments that they both looked sad. Also the airport photos of GG next day where his eyes were swollen — from crying probably. Add one of the CPNs that they both cried when the filming ended inside their car. So yeah. As much as I see him happy, it brings me back to the bittersweet ending of CQL. I won’t add any video/photo evidence of this anymore because it’s a well-known fandom CPN.

I also just remembered how much of a jiejie collector XZ is. LOL. If WYB collects geges, then XZ collects jiejies. That’s what I noticed with his interactions towards his co-star. I think she’s another jiejie who is now doting on XZ. 😂😂😂😂

Moving on to the other CPN clues, starting with some usual fandom symbols that we see. I love adding those to every post because it shows how consistent they are. for example the logo animation of XZS where GG talks about the Moon. like how many times did we make a CPN between them connected to the 🌙? these might be hard to spot for new turtles or those who aren’t into cpns.

sunflower, the legendary fan given by wyb, red heart, apple watch — need i say more? for the drawing, i’m not sure if ZZ made it but the wink did it for me cause he usually does that. i mean, even WYB’s black panther was winking. sooooo… The 10:05 is a given, but the 10:23 is a nice one cause we’ve been associating him to 23 ( Ai Zhan / Love Zhan ). I have also been thinking about this number because for XZS lantern festival game, they are giving away 23 desk calendars. so specific.

this imagery from the vlog compared to WYB’s single video is just so similar. the sunshine allowing plants to grown. whether that me be literal or metaphorical. how they view the world is so hopeful 🤍🤍🤍 and this is why they get along so well. there is really no way they wouldn’t be close, even if they didn’t end up playing WWX / LWJ. I believe that somehow, they would find their way to each other and still have the relationship we think they have. 🌱

and yes, we know that this was part of the filming process. at the start, XZ planted it and during the course of the shoot cared for it and watched it grow. but the similarity in their message to people and to the world. I can’t. this is some next level coincidence and connection.

The use of words that are same/similar to the captions of Hidden Blade’s weibo account is next. It’s one of those things that I think XZ is purposely fucking with us. It’s not like you can claim that he copies HB, because they do not own those captions on their posts. it’s just words. However clowns will know — what are the chances that he is using the same/similar? Mister eloquent himself who also has a team that does his videos. It all seems intentional.

• “plant your own sun” / and then HB is always putting suns on every 100 million they get in the box office. the intention in XZ’s words is like, do it yourself. like a person works hard to get their success. similar to what happened to HB, they have very little backing and it’s because the movie is actually good that it’s getting the recognition.

• 春回大地 the return of spring. It’s from a chinese idiom which means that spring returns to the earth. It is described that the severe cold has passed, and warmth and vitality have come to the world again.

• 逐光而行 follow the light / 与光同行 walk with the light.

there is also a cpn going around about the sound you can hear from the radio. I am the last person to verify things like this but can you hear wuming? 💀💀💀

but I think the correct explanation is, what it’s actually saying is “how do you rate it?” ( or something like that ) and because of the sound manipulation, you can sort of hear wuming. this is not the first time XZ puts things that he purposely wants us to mishear. lol.

that’s all for now. i am still waiting for an actual trailer from this drama + one & only so we can have proper FMVs of Sheng Yang and Chen Suo. The AU / Parallel world Yizhan pairing to rule them all 😂😂😂

-END.

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here folks im just clowning like i always do #cpn talk

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musicloverxoxo7 · 1 year

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Pirate Captain – featuring Jin

Pirate!Jin x fem!reader

Summary: You meet captain Seokjin by coincidence and have to flee with him. On his ship, something blossoms between you. How long can you resist?

Themes/warnings: AU, smut with plot (smut in last half), unprotected sex, fingering, nipple play, spanking (mild), bit of fluff, pirate brother Jungkook

Wordcount: ca. 3.6k

Disclaimer: 18+, DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE UNDER 18

I do not own BTS. They merely inspire me. None of this is related to their persons in real life.

“I’ll be back in 2 hours”, you say to your mother before leaving the house. It’s market day and your mother has written an entire list. As every Wednesday.

With a basket and a bag, you walk along the street that leads into town. It’s a warm day of late spring and you look forward to taking a dip in the ocean later today with some friends. Or perhaps your little sister.

“Hi, Ms. Lim. Nice day, isn’t it”, you ask your neighbor as you pass her.

“Beautiful. Is your mother home?”

“Yes. If you pop in straight away, you might catch her before her and my sister go fetch wood from the forest.”

“Thanks, dear. I hope they still have everything you need at the market.”

It’s true. You’re a bit later than usual today. But somehow you had a feeling earlier that you shouldn’t hurry today and enjoy every second.

Finally, you make it to the market square. Dozens of people bustle from stand to stand. The vendors try to attract more customers by advertising their products. You go to a vegetable stand first.

“The usual”, the man there asks.

“That and two extra gloves of garlic. My sister has started enjoying the taste as well.”

The man packs everything for you. Once you’ve paid, you walk on to a stand that sells fabrics. This vendor only visits your town once a month and your mother is in dear need of a new shirt. She’s great at sewing.

You run your fingers over a few of the blue cotton fabrics. One has darker blue flowers on it, and you know your mother will adore it.

“Oh, sorry.”

A man bumps into you and tries to steady you after the impact.

“No worries.”

He has gorgeous brown eyes, like the milk chocolate your father sometimes brings home from his trips.

You take a step back, out of his arms. Though you have to admit his body felt nice against yours.

“You can steal it, but there’s nothing in there.”

Of course, he doesn’t have the wallet in his hand anymore. It must have long since disappeared into his coat.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“The wallet is a decoy. You really think I’d fall for the “I’m just saving the lady from falling over” charade?”

He looks you hard in the eyes for a few moments, then takes out the decoy wallet from an inside pocket of his coat. He opens it. As you’d said it’s empty, except for a slip of paper.

“You’re good.”

He hands you the wallet. You put it back into your bag.

“How do you know?”

You just shrug your shoulders. Let him interpret into that what he wants. No need for him to know that your mother used to run in a pretty rough crowd and taught you lots of things.

He smiles. It draws your attention to his lips. They are full and look very soft.

“So, uhm”, he starts, then breaks off, looking over your shoulder. “Damn.”

He pushes you behind him and draws a sword you hadn’t noticed was there before. This is turning into a much wilder morning than you’d bargained for.

The smell of smoke hits your nostrils. Someone is screaming. Someone else is laughing. It’s a crazy laugh that makes goosebumps erupt all over your arms.

“Go home. Take your family and leave. Go!”

You turn around. You know your way around the town like the back of your hand. But there are two men with torches and swords coming your way from that direction.

“Ah, Seokjin. Man, it’s been a long time.”

You can feel the man’s back stiffen against yours. That must be his name. You’re royally screwed now.

“Yeah, few months.”

“Tell me, how much did you get for the ruby necklace that you stole from under my nose?”

If he reacts to the statement, you can’t tell. He doesn’t say a word.

“Who’s that little thing hiding behind your back? Your newest toy?”

“Just an innocent bystander whose pocket I happened to pick.”

“No, man. Don’t buy it. I think my men and I will bring you and the little missus onto our ship. Let’s see how we deal with thieves.”

“Follow me to your right. On the count of three”, you hiss at Seokjin across your shoulder.

You grab a few bales of cloth and throw them in the direction of the men coming towards you. One hits one square in the chest.

“Three. Now.”

You grab the blue bale and make a run for it. The market square has emptied completely. You dash through it and off into a side street. There are shouts and the sound of feet on cobblestone.

You turn off into a small side street. Then another. And another. The number of footsteps behind you reduces to one pair quickly. Still, you keep running for a while. You’re out of town by the time you stop behind the hedge of a small house.

Seokjin, breathing heavily, stops beside you.

“Good grace, you’re fast. You just outran pirates.”

“Well, they hardly have time to practice running out at sea.”

Seokjin wheezes, clutching his side.

You straighten up and look at him.

“Who are you and why have they been following you?”

With your hands on your sides and the stern face you must look quite a bit like your mother, but you don’t care.

It takes a few moments until Seokjin has recovered enough.

“I’m Jin. I…”

“You?”

“I hunt treasures.”

“Essentially, you’re a pirate too. I’m not entirely stupid. I listened to what that pirate guy said to you. Not hard to put one and one together and get two.”

Jin looks at you for a long time. You raise an eyebrow.

“They’ve seen you. They’ll come for you now. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

Next thing you know a piece of fabric is being held over your mouth and nose. Then everything goes black.

Everything seems to be shaking. And your head is pounding. You peel open your eyes and sit up.

You weren’t entirely wrong. Everything is swaying gently. A glance around tells you that you are in a wooden cabin of some sort. A lamp in the corner casts a soft glow on the room. The bed you’re on has plush covers and pillows, covered with the most expensive fabrics you’ve ever seen.

Where the heck has this pirate guy taken you?

A gentle knock on the door startles you back to reality.

“Enter.”

A tall man with short black hair and small, heart-shaped lips walks in. He’s carrying a tray. It smells of chicken. Your stomach suddenly grumbles.

The man walks over to you and puts the tray down on the edge of the bed.

“Please, tug in. You’ve been out nearly ten hours. I’m sure you’re hungry.”

“Is someone going to come and knock me out with something stinky again after I’ve eaten?”

“Nah, you’re safe now. You can leave the cabin whenever you want. Also, hyung said I’m your contact person if you need new clothing. Something a little better fitting for the sea.”

And suddenly everything clicks into place. You’re on Jin’s ship. He’s the captain of a pirate ship. Does that mean you’re a pirate too now? Would they persecute you for it?

You choke back the tears you suddenly feel. But the man must have seen them.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay to be sad. That’s one of the policies on the ship. We can cry when we’re sad and then not get mad and kill or betray each other. Jin doesn’t like when people do that.”

The way he says it, with a cute pout, makes you laugh and cry at the same time.

“I’m Jungkook by the way. The captain’s younger brother.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m y/n.”

“That’s a pretty name. How about you eat, and I go fetch some fresh clothes for you? I think the world is always a little less terrible when I don’t feel like I’ve just waded through the mud.”

Jungkook gives you another smile before he leaves. He’s very sweet. So much so you decide to trust him somewhat and dig in. The chicken is delicious. And the rice is just the right amount of sticky. There’s even some fruit juice, which you gulp down. Strangely, it makes your head feel okay again.

Once you’re done with the food, you untangle yourself from the blankets and get up. Your dress is indeed quite dirty. Jin must have dragged you through the mud to get you onto the ship.

A few minutes later Jungkook delivers the clothes and leaves again. You put on the pants, blouse and jacket. They fit surprisingly well. Either a woman works on this ship, or they often have female guests. That thought makes you scrunch up your nose. You hope they at least washed the sheets between you and the last female guest.

It takes you a few more minutes to gather the courage to go outside. It’s dark and the stars are out. The moon shines brightly, but the sea around the ship is pitch black. A few lanterns guide the way on the boat.

You find Jungkook and Jin standing at the ship’s wheel. Jungkook has binoculars in his hand.

“No, nobody is following us. You know they never were that fast. Neither their ship, nor, you know…”

Jin’s forehead is wrinkled.

“They won’t catch up with us tonight. That much is certain. Let’s talk about the rest during tomorrow’s meeting.”

You clear your throat.

“Y/n.” Jungkook sounds happy to see you. Much like your younger cousins when you go to play with them.

He looks at Jin, then nods at you and leaves.

Jin’s straight, strong stance changes once Jungkook is out of sight. His face softens, making him look much younger and much less like a scary pirate captain. In fact, like this, he wouldn’t look out of place in the castle in your town.

“Please say all you want. I’d imagine this isn’t the life you imagined. You may stay with us as long as you wish. Or leave the ship when we dock and make a new life for yourself.”

Frankly, you aren’t quite sure what to say.

“I’m not happy about this situation. My family will worry. I don’t want that. I also don’t want them to think I’m dead.”

“You could send them a letter the next time we dock.”

You stand there, looking at Jin for a few minutes and contemplate things. While it is true that you never wanted to end up like the small-town wife, you had also never contemplated living with pirates and leading a life of outlaw.

“You don’t have to decide now. Or tomorrow. You can test out life here for a while first.”

So that’s what you do for the next week. Everyone is friendly to you and there are three other women on board, which makes things a little easier. You pull your weight in work. Jungkook quickly becomes your friend. He’s a bit shy in general but seems to have taken to you quickly.

With Jin, it’s hard to say what he thinks of you. Sometimes you joke with each other, other times he is serious and distant. You can’t deny, though, that you enjoy every time it gets warm, and he unbuttons his shirt.

It’s another week before you dock at the main port of an island. Jungkook brings the letter to your family to the post office, while Jin and a few others do some business. You’ve been advised to stay put for this one. It’s still too close to your hometown.

You were supposed to leave port before nightfall and now it’s long past and Jin and his buddies still aren’t back.

You fall asleep in your cabin while waiting for them.

The floorboards creek under careful footsteps. It’s dark. You come to and pull the knife out from under your pillow. The footsteps continue.

“Who are you and what do you want?”

“It’s just me, Jin. I’m sorry I woke you.”

Hastily, you push the knife on top of a drawer beside the bed.

There’s the sound of a match being lit and then the lamp in the corner comes to life. Jin looks exceptionally tired.

“Are you okay? Do you need something?”

“Just this.”

Jin goes to the bookshelf and pulls out a book bound in red leather.

“You keep your books here?”

“Yes. This is my cabin.”

You nearly jump out of the bed, but then decide that would be rude.

“But why did you give it to me? You’re the captain. You should have it. I’ll move tomorrow morning.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve been bunking with Jungkook. He doesn’t mind. Too much.”

Jin smiles a little.

“So, uhm, is that your comfort book or something?”

“In a way. May I?”

Jin point at the edge of the bed. You nod. He approaches and sits down. With the blankets drawn tightly around you, you crawl closer. Jin opens the book. It turns out it’s a photo album. Lots of black and white pictures.

Jin points at the picture of a beautiful woman with a braid of long, dark hair. Her hand is on the wheel of this ship, you realize.

“My mom. Most feared pirate captain for over 30 years. She passed on two years ago.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“Thank you.”

The next picture is of a small Seokjin, a tiny Jungkook and the beautiful woman. The family resemblance is very obvious with Jin.

“Jungkook doesn’t look like her, but you do.”

“He’s not related to her. We only had the same dad. Jungkook’s mom ran away. And then our dad did. Mom raised both of us.”

“Does he know you are half-brothers?”

“Of course. But he thinks of mom as his mother too.”

“You two were adorable.”

“I guess we were.”

He shows you a lot more pictures. Nearly the entire album. The last picture you remember is of Jungkook and Jin flanking their mother’s sides, both of them substantially taller than her.

You wake up to a heavy arm draped around your rib cage. At first that feels quite nice. Very protected. Until you realize that it must be Jin and you two have fallen asleep.

Unsure what to do, you freeze in place. Jin’s hand glides down to your stomach. He pulls you closer until you are flush against his chest. And his erection pokes you in the ass. You’ve had a boyfriend before, so none of this is new. Still. You’ve never spent an entire night with someone.

But the warmth of Jin’s body feels nice as it envelopes you, so you snuggle closer.

“Mh”, Jin hums into your ear.

You repeat the little wiggly movement, and he sighs. To see if you can get another reaction out of him, you keep moving your ass.

A few more sighs follow. Then, Jin’s hand moves up your torso until he finds your boob and squeezes it. You still don’t stop moving.

“Do you want something from me or are you just teasing me?”

You stop and giggle as silently as possible. Jin twists your nipple. You gasp.

“Talk to me, darling. We can go back to sleep. Or we can…”

You twist around in his arm. Your faces nearly touch.

“Or we can what?”

“Spend the night on more pleasurable things. If you want the specifics: sex, mostly. Though I’d definitely also like to have those nipples in my mouth at some point.”

You move forward until your lips meet. Jin kisses with the perfect balance between gentle and passionate. It feels like being kissed by a prince. Not that you have any experience with that, though.

You unbutton Jin’s shirt and run your hands up and down his torso. Though he is quite lean, the muscles are clearly strong.

His hands are on your butt, squeezing. He breaks away from the kiss, breathing heavily.

“Can I… under the nightgown… feel skin.”

“Go ahead.”

You dive in for another kiss. Jin’s hands move under the nightgown. He trails his hands up your naked thighs and to your butt. He seems to take great pleasure from squeezing it. If his dick twitching is an indication.

You untie the front of his pants. Now there’s only his underwear in between. You glide your hand over his length. Jin moans into your mouth.

“Please, darling, can I have one of your nipples in my mouth? If you keep doing that, I’ll cum right away. I haven’t since you came onto this ship.”

“Yeah, sharing a room with your brother must suck in that respect.”

Laughing, you pull the nightgown over your head and toss it aside. As soon as you lay back down, Jin’s lips are on your nipple like those of a starved man. The way he rolls your nipple on his tongue, sucks on it and runs his lips over it has your mind short-circuiting in nearly no time.

“Like that, Jin. Mh, please don’t stop.” You don’t even notice how whiney you sound.

Jin doesn’t stop. He keeps going until you are a writhing mess. Even then he keeps going, holding you tightly.

You cum with your face buried in his hair. It muffles the sounds you make a little. Finally, once your body stops convulsing, Jin moves up to kiss you again.

“You make the cutest noises.”

“No wonder with what you just did.”

Jin chuckles, before kissing your neck. His erection is rubbing against your thigh now. It can’t be missed that he’s big. But frankly, you’ve never been more ready.

“Jin?”

“Mh, darling?”

“I’d really appreciate if I could have you in me now.”

You’re not sure if Jin is coughing or laughing or both.

“You sure know what you want. Phrased very politely, though.”

“Just because you’re a pirate captain doesn’t mean I need to be rude.”

“True. How could I say no to such a nice request. On all fours.”

Jin lets go of you. You untangle from each other, and you get on all fours, sticking your butt up. Jin comes up from behind and runs his hands over your lower back. His finger pads are calloused from things like sword fighting and handling ropes.

He pulls down your underwear and traces his fingers along your slit. It sends electricity through your body.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

“Can you play with yourself while I push in? It might be easier that way.”

So you play with your clit. You can feel his head touch your entrance. He pushes in very slowly. It feels a bit tight, but not painful. Once in he gives you a bit of time to adjust. You were right in your assumption that he’s big. He fills you very well now.

“I think you can start moving now. Just, slowly, okay?”

“Of course, darling.” His voice sounds strained.

He sets a slow and controlled pace. Slowly, you relax more around him and can give in to all the pleasure. In this position, he rubs against you G-spot in a way that makes you dry sob into your forearm.

“You feel so nice, darling. Good grace.”

Jin slaps your ass. It takes you by surprise. Your head comes up and you arch your back more.

“You like that, huh?”

Jin slaps your other butt cheek. You squeeze around him.

“Fuck, darling. Okay. Enough.”

He withdraws from you. You suddenly feel very empty. You whine.

“Turn around. We aren’t done yet.”

You turn onto you back.

“Are you okay with this position?”

“Definitely.”

Jin pushes back in. You sigh in relief. This is definitely where he’s supposed to be. He lowers himself over you. Like this, you are chest to chest, face to face. It’s a more intimate position, but it doesn’t bother you one bit.

Jin picks back up the slow movements, but they quickly become faster, harsher. It has you moaning into his ear practically non-stop.

Your nails claw at his back, your legs are hooked around his waist.

“My beautiful y/n”, Jin whispers.

His hair is hanging wet into his eyes.

“Jin”, you press out before cumming. As you come down from your high, Jin’s thrusts become sloppier. His hips come to a stuttering halt as he fills you with his warm cum.

His eyes go from glassed over to crystal clear quickly after that. He pulls out and gets towels from the dresser to clean you up.

After that, he lays down next to you. You slowly crawl closer.

“Is it okay… Can I?” You nod at his chest.

“Of course. Come here.”

You snuggle up to him. Jin pulls up the blankets around the both of you. It feels nice and cozy.

“I haven’t even dined with you. That’s not like the male honor code at all.”

“We eat together with Jungkook every evening.”

“Not the same.”

“Still counts for me. But if you insist, we can always still do that.”

“Okay.”

You place a kiss on his neck. He’s so deliciously warm. The lamp in the corner shows that he’s frowning.

“Anything else on your mind?”

“I called you mine, didn’t I?”

“It didn’t bother me. In fact, I thought it was quite a nice touch.”

“You don’t mind being mine?”

“Not in the least. So far, I’ve been enjoying it, actually.”

The frown is replaced by a smile. Jin pulls you closer and kisses your forehead.

“My y/n.”

“Mh, exactly”, you mumble before drifting off into dreamland.

Please do not copy, translate, or repost my work. Doing so will make you legally liable for stealing intellectual property.

#jin smut #bts smut #pirate captain #pirate jin #bts imagines #bts x reader #bts fanfic #female y/n #female reader #jin x reader #jin x y/n #jin fic #bts au fanfic

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mclennonlgbt · 2 years

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Paul's alleged neurodiversity, and how did it affect his relationship with John?

EDIT: After receiving some comments, I understood I oversimplified that issue. Probably John was also a ND person because this is a really broad term. But my point still stands: I think the main reason of John's rejection was that Paul wasn't able to distinguish between different types of attraction and couldn't communicate it in the way that was clear to John.

Disclaimer: Everything I say in this post is my opinion only. I don't insist that it has to be absolutely true. Also, I'm not going to diagnose someone remotely! What I'm going to do here is a fan analysis of my favorite musicians rather than a PhD thesis.

So, I was listening to Another Kind of Mind podcast, more specifically - Episode 5 of their Pizza and Fairytales series. The hosts express a hypothesis that I immediately found credible: maybe Paul is neurodivergent? Here is the speculation material: Paul is one of the most prolific and productive songwriters of the second half of the 20th century (a reference to music being his special interest); very often he gives the impression that he is masking his various reactions, feelings, as if he is wearing armor - masking is a very common practice among neurodivergent people, especially if the family expected them to "behave normally" (which was the case with Paul); the hosts also pointed his nervous tics, his synesthesia and the fact that some of his patterns of behavior are as rigid as telling the same stories over and over again.

Again - it's not diagnosis, it's just guessing, speculating. From my perspective, as a non-neurotypical person, I can say that this theory makes a lot of sense.

But how does all of this relate to McLennon? Well, here's my interpretation: Lennon was neurotypical (EDIT: he probably wasn't but IMO he had more "neurotypical" concept of love and affection than Paul), so he could make a clear distinction between platonic and romantic attraction. Consequently, he was aware that he was in love with McCartney and expected a reaction from him.

And Paul is perhaps non-neurotypical. I know from experience (mine and some other people - this is anecdotal evidence, not reliable research) that often neudivergent persons either do not distinguish between platonic and romantic love, or they do not care too much about the difference, or they merge into one. Or they have some other types of attractions (understanding them and translating them into the language of the neurotypical world can be a daunting or even impossible task). So McCartney might not really know what Lennon expected from him + might not know / still don't know what he exactly felt about Lennon? I mean, I'm sure he felt and feel love, but can he distinguish the type? He wanted to be John's best friend and songwriting partner - and nothing else/more, or did he need to be in a romantic relationship with him? Or maybe he needed something else? The first difficulty is understanding what you are feeling. The second is to communicate it to the other person. In my view John wasn't overly understanding, especially on a delicate and vulnerable matter such as feelings, because he was terrified of rejection.

Here's how I imagine their interaction in India:

JOHN: I'm in love with you, do you want to be with me?

PAUL:

*inside: Hmmm, what exactly is the difference between brotherly and romantic love? How is friendship different from a romantic relationship, especially in our case? Let me analyze all my 25 types of attraction...

*outside: lack of unambiguous reaction

JOHN: Oh, so you're rejecting me, right? Okay! Then fuck off! I'm going to get Yoko and we will parade with our love and relationship so hard that maybe it will finally provoke you to some kind of reaction, fucking prick!

This is the interpretation in which I believe the most today. But I'd love to hear your thoughts! No ableism allowed.

#john lennon #paul mccartney #mclennon #lennon mccartney #the beatles #neurodivergent

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schneereggen · 1 year

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Day 2 of GureShin Week - It’s Shinya’s birthday today! Happy Birthday 🎉🥳

So let’s take the occasion and have a deeper look into Shinya’s character.

I already did an analysis for Mahiru because of an anon ask. It was really interesting to think more about why she does what she does and how she became the person she's now.

So I wanted to do this also for Shinya. I did a lot of reflection about his character when I was writing my fanfiction "Why we cannot stop loving". As he was the point of view character I really wanted to dive deeper into his motives and why he’s feeling how he feels. Also I explored some situations I really wanted to see Shinya reacting to it. Like what Guren has been hiding from him.

But there’s also a lot of stuff that didn’t fit into the story which I had been thinking about as well. So I am now trying to write it down and explain where this might be coming from.

But maybe a short disclaimer beforehand because I know Shinya is a very well loved character:

I base my analysis on what I feel would complete the narrative. There could be a lot of other interpretations about him. So this is just one version.

And it turned out a lot longer than expected. So apologies for that.

Drawing by Yo Asami, artist of Catastroph at Sixteen Manga

Analysis of Shinya's Character

Let's go back to...

Shinya’s childhood (Prologue book 3)

To know why a character is like they are, it’s always interesting to look into their childhood. In Shinya’s case, he first grew up with his parents. I expect him to have had a rather good childhood . It was said that he was already part of a Hiragi kindergarten when he was five but without the competition. Shinya was talented, was really good in school and had a lot of other talents. He was fast, good at magic. A lot better than the other kids. So he was probably praised by his parents, by other adults and he was used to surpass others, because he is very skilled. And no person is not infected by praise at an early age. Shinya probably got used to be able to do everything. He might even have been a lot more arrogant than now because he knew he could do all the stuff and was doing really great and he also got the confirmation that this was good and achievable. He was told that he was special and there was no instance that could have made him reflect about it. So when I think about Shinya being arrogant, I think more of the Shinya we see when he's desperate. Like the ice cold look he gave Guren when he was disappointed in him for not fulfilling his expectations. But more about it later. In general, I feel like Shinya wasn't always just nice and sweet. Or rather didn't use it socially that often back then because he didn't need to.

But then the Hiragi noticed his talent and took him in. First, this must have been a huge lost because he was taken from the parents he loved and that loved him. Maybe this also made him think they don't love him anymore because he never heard about them ever again. Knowing the way he later can very well hide his emotions, I can imagine that he also back then hid his sadness. He maybe cried a lot, maybe in secret at night later. Even thought it is said that he didn't have the time anymore when he was in Tokyo. And the reason for that might be the fact, that it was "an honour" to be selected by the Hiragi.

Because of the social status the Hiragi have, Shinya was probably also kind of proud. Everyone must have told him how well he was doing that he was given the honor to get with the Hiragi. In some way this must have pushed Shinya's ego though I still think on the inside he was hurt that he was given away. Nevertheless Shinya seemd to be a person that adapts very well to situations. So I can imagine him also managing well to fit in the new situation and surrounding. He maybe cried at night, but at day he was the same talented guy that impressed others. He probably made already some friends among the other contestens very quickly.

But we know he wasn't the only smart and talented guy. Even though he might got along well with others, this was also one of the first moments, Shinya had a real competition. The contest might has motivated him in the beginning to push himself even further. He always won in the past, so he was now in a surrounding where he had to win. And he must have done well.

But the competition always also meant that other children got killed. For being bad at school, and later in direct fights. So the challenge developed quickly into a hard, bloody reality. And he must have lost a lot of friends. Imagine just meeting a person one day and the next they will be gone and worst they have been killed by some other guys you know.

So slowly Shinya stopped making friends for real, because he knew in the end he would lose them again. He started to protect himself emotionally by not building bonds anymore with other people and focusing on himself. So a loss won't hurt that much anymore. Also he must have stopped showing his true emotions in general. Emotions can be a weakness in fights and in order to be strong, he might also have started to surpress his emotions. This way he became apathetic inside. Not showing emotion, not feeling anything, not forming bonds and friendships with people. All in order to win and most importantly survive.

It is said that Shinya started smiling permanently at that time to relive the stress. Also Shinya must have tried to cope with him surpressing his own emotions. Smile was his mechanism. Also it helped him socialice with people so he would not be pulled into trouble. Also it is said that it confused his enemies in battle. And I can imagine that Shinya started to use it as a weapon. To fool others to be able to win again them when they didn't expect it from such a seemingly nice guy that always smiles.

So Shinya's only goal was now to survive. And the price for that was the hand of Mahiru. He used all his energy for that one goal. He only lived for that goal. Only to then realize when he was suddenly selected as the winner of the tournament, that she doesn't even want him.

All the time and effort he put into it, shattered in just a second when Mahiru told him, she's already in love with someone else. Even though Shinya survived, he lost because his apparent goal was already out of reach. It's the first massive lost he experienced in his life. His ego must have been totally shatterd, realizing that it was all for seemingly nothing. A guy named Guren was already ahead of him.

And this was a new challange for Shinya. Despite having fallen deep by realizing he lost his goal and seemingly wasn't able to win Mahiru over whatever he did, he slowly started to shift his goal to Guren. He had what Shinya wanted. He was his opponent. Mahiru had told him mutiple times that Guren was a lot stronger and more special than him.

So Shinya wanted to meet Guren, desperately. That was Shinya's goal at that moment. Meeting him and finding out what was so special about him. Why Mahiru was talking so highly about him and what had made her fall in love with him.

And they met. In High School

Beginning of the High School Years (Book 1-4)

Shinya knew Guren was coming to their school. To find out what was so special about Guren, he wanted to challenge him. Find out if he's strong, if he's better in magic, if he was smarter, what so ever.

To approach him, Shinya used the techniques he learned from his childhood. Smiling and be nice to people, so you get what you want. He kind of treid to fake a friendshop between them. Just that it didn't work on Guren.

Guren hid his power from him. And even though Shinya pushed him, tried to beat him up, Guren just let it happen. And Shinya was really pissed that none of his usually techniques worked on Guren. He smiled, tried to get Guren's attention, but he just ignored him.

This led to that scene where Shinya protect Guren but starts being cold towards him. Shinya is disappointed in Guren. The person Mahiru spoke so highly about all those years, was nothing but weak. He seemingly wasn't strong, talented or anything. And Shinya still lost against him. And to make it even worth, if he was strong, he didn't even use his powers for something relevant. Another goal of Shinya was shattered.

But things change, when Shinya sees Guren fight at the tournament in school. He sees that Guren knows a lot more magic than he says. And Shinya's interest is back. He proceeds trying to befriend him and as we know, he succeeds.

Shinya starts getting to know Guren and he realizes that what makes Guren different is that he is still trying to achieve his goal. In book 4 there's one scene from Shinya POV where he thinks about why Mahiru chose Guren in which he realized that Guren is passionate about his goal. He is fighting for it. Shinya gave up fighting and winning when he realized he couldn't win Mahiru over. And Shinya thinks about how stupid Guren is to give up his humanity to save others. Though thereby he realizes himself that he always just killed for himself. He killed for the sake of surviving. Never did he invest any energy for others. And though Shinya thinks what Guren is doing is massively supid, he kind of admires him for this. And at the same time, it makes him want to help Guren as well. Even though he would risk his life, he wants to save Guren from the mess he got himself into. He wants to get Guren back.

Without noticing he had already formed a bond with Guren. The interactions he intially used to get close to Guren now made him actually made him becoming friends with him. And Shinya, who had not felt anything in years, now suddenly had again something he wanted. He wanted to protect Guren, if necessary to kill him himself.

That's why he went to the school and made a plan to attack Guren and keep him in place. He wanted to be the one saving Guren.

In the same events it is said that Shinya wanted to save Mahiru to be finally recognized by her. He was never recognized in the past. He wasn't strong enough. And by challenging her, he might get the recognition he always wanted. But we know how it ends, he never got it. But maybe it wasn't even necessary anymore for him.

Shinya and human bonds (Book 5-7 + Vampire Reign)

After the event in the High School in book 4, Shinya starts developing a deeper friendship with Guren. It seems like he had accepted that he couldn't take back that he started to care for Guren.

The next inside we get into Shinya's character is in book 6 where he saves Guren from Seishiro and they start to have a heart to heart talk about human bonds. Funnily in this dialogue it's now Shinya telling Guren that human bonds are important to have a reason to be strong. Because it was Guren that made Shinya realize that friendship and bonds were important in the first place.

Shinya, a person that had hid his feelings, became cold, never had a goal is now telling Guren, that he shouldn't become that way. And that's remarkable. Because it means that Guren changed Shinya, he changed how he's thinking. Shinya has learned that he doesn't want to be a lone fighter anymore and he doesn't want Guren to become one. He found his goal in supporting Guren and fight alongside with him. Shinya wants to use his power for something he believes in.

Later in book 7 he even tells Mahiru that he chose Guren over power. He knows it's stupid, but it's what give him joy, a reason for contuing, a reason for living.

But Shinya dies believing in Guren. Though he doesn't remember later. He dies knowing that he had good moments in his life in the year in which he had finally made friends for real again. In which he had shared good moments with others and wasn't alone anymore.

Though as Shinya doesn't remember failing on that route. His goal to be with Guren and to protect and follow him doesn't change. When Guren starts losing his own hope and goal in Resurrection Shinya pushes him to follow his goal. To give himself a reason again to continue.

And later, when Guren even betrays them in Vampire Reign, Shinya is the one that desperatly calls for more power to prevent him from leaving. Even though Shinya can still kill without mercy, if it is necessary - he can't leave anyone important to him behind anymore.

So why is Shinya so obssesed with Guren?

I believe the reason why Shinya started to develop a friendship and feelings for with Guren is that Guren was the first one in a long time to see and care about him.

Shinya had been used to be praised as a kid. Then his parents were taken away from him. He stopped making friends. Mahiru never saw him for what he was. And then Guren came along and he cared for him (even though he said he didn't because he's a tsundere).

And Shinya wanted to be seen by Guren. By protecting him, by helping him out, by staying by his side. Shinya wanted Guren's attention because it was someone that was stronger than him that he admired.

But at the same time, Shinya started to also care for Guren. And as we know, Guren also found comfort in having someone who he can blindly trust. That's what made their bond so strong and hopefully still makes it strong.

Just as Shinya is Guren's soft spot, Guren is Shinya's.

Guren changed Shinya and Shinya does not want to lose his trust in him again. He doesn't want to accept that he decieded wrong when he chose Guren. Because he started to undertand what made Guren so attractive.

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yukidragon · 2 years

Note

Remember the secret tape with a threatening message from Jack? I think it’s a message left for one of the other love interests and the “them” is Sunshine, but my question is, where do you think did Jack take the MC? He probably has MC close by, and he said that he’s in a place “they can never reach.” Do you think he means “Cloudy Town”? Does that mean he takes us into his tape, or to the original Sunny Time Crew Show studio?

Ah yes, the classic audio of Jack going full yandere. It’s really effective seeing him looking bloody and sanity clearly frayed while he’s giving his monologue too, as you can see on the official twitter.

You know what, why don’t I transcribe the monologue really quick for those who need to run it through a translator.

Quick disclaimer: I have auditory processing disorder, so if I get anything wrong, please let me know so I can correct the transcript.

You think you care about them... don't you. You've convinced yourself that they need saving. That you can save them. It's too late, you know. They're already gone. Where I am, you could never reach. And every day that piece of me grows bigger and stronger. It's only a matter of time until we're one... truly and forever. I love them... and they love me. I'm not letting them go... ever. (Unhinged chuckling)

There’s so much here that could be figurative or literal. We don’t have a full grasp on Jack’s powers, or even what he is exactly, since Jack being a ghost is still in question.

It does seem like that it’s directed at one or more of the love interests. It could even be something Jack would say to the specific love interest that the player is trying to pursue. It would make sense that he would go full antagonist on the other romance routes, since he has every reason to go to desperate lengths to keep his sunshine.

It could even be something Jack would say to one or more love interest that’s trying to get in the way of his route. After all, just because the scary yandere ghost(?) is claiming someone is mistaken about how their darling feels, it doesn’t mean he’s necessarily wrong.

I highly doubt that Jack would willingly want to return to the tape. He described the place as hell, it was cold, and he couldn’t sleep while trapped in there. I doubt he would be willing to hurt MC by forcing them to go there either, even if to keep them. He’s more of a softcore yandere after all; he doesn’t want to hurt his sunshine.

If we take what Jack says as purely figurative, he could just mean that MC has fully chosen him instead of whoever he is talking to. They are so deeply in love with him that any rival’s affections could never reach them the way he can. The piece of him that grows bigger and stronger would be the figurative piece of him they hold in their heart, the love they have for him that only grows by the day.

In this case, being one forever might mean making MC so in love with Jack, need him so much, that they feel just as strongly towards him as he does for them... so, essentially, turning them yandere for him.

If we go with a more literal interpretation, then Jack has physically taken MC someplace accessible only to the two of them. While the tape seems like the obvious location, it seems too extreme for Jack to be willing to send his sunshine to a place he described as hell.

In a fully literal interpretation, there would be a literal piece of Jack inside of MC that is growing in strength and size. Eventually, it’ll get big enough that they will be ‘one’ and as such that they become one entity.

There was a theory that Jack’s ultimate goal was to merge with MC and share their body, though Sauce debunked it. They stated that Jack just wants to bask in MC’s warm and happy light, and he wouldn’t want to do anything to diminish that. He just refuses to let anyone get between them.

This is another reason why I doubt Jack sent MC into the tape. I would imagine being sent to a cold, sleepless hell would absolutely diminish one’s warm and happy light!

What I think, personally, is that there’s a mixture of figurative and literal going on here. My theory is that MC can see/hear/touch Jack because they are literally connected. I think MC has a piece of Jack’s soul inside them, and vice-versa. I’ve gone over this in previous headcanon posts, particularly one where I dissected a quote from the “no” route.

I want him to re-write me in this moment. I want him to do what he wants to help me forget anything that isn’t him. He’s taking some part of me… Infecting me with some kind of fever… Some need… And I don’t want to admit it… But I want to surrender and let him fill it.

I think this is a direct reference to the piece of Jack that’s growing bigger and stronger inside of MC. This only happens in the “no” route, so it could be that the monologue will only happen in most/every route but his.

The very human other love interests certainly can’t literally reach inside of MC to remove Jack from them, can they?

MC could be “gone” in that they’re so under Jack’s influence by that point that he won’t leave, won’t be forgotten. He “re-wrote” them, took a part of them, and is filling the empty space left behind. They love him because they just wanted to forget everything that wasn’t him since he makes them feel so good...

Though, I can see Jack’s speech applying to the “yes” route as well. MC loves him and is choosing him. Sure, he’s nudging things along by making them feel really good, but he’s not going as far with those good feelings as he does in the “no” route. In the “yes” route, he seems almost amazed at times that MC desires him and even takes the initiative sometimes.

While in both routes MC is choosing to be with Jack, in the “yes” route it’s because they’re happy with him rather than being addicted to the good feelings and security that he offers them.

In that situation where MC is actively taking steps towards jack rather than being lured closer with everything he can provide, it almost seems silly to assume that they need saving. Why would they need saving from something they want? They’re an active participant. They want to be with Jack forever.

I think Jack grows stronger the more MC loves and needs him. In the “no” route he’s influencing it with his own emotions, being a living drug and giving them hits of his feelings of love. In the “yes” route, they don’t need that, even if they question the dreamy haze they find themselves in at times when they’re around him.

I think, to some extent, there’s a certain level of involuntary empathy sharing between the two. There are times when MC feels cold, and it reflects when Jack is scared due to the distance growing between them.

Empathy is a really strong feeling. What better way for a yandere to prove just how much they love their darling than by letting them feel it? If they feel it then surely they will understand that they were meant to be together, as this love is too strong to be anything else.

You could say that a yandere’s love for someone is like a drug, and Jack is just sharing his drug of choice with MC when they’re not making their own for him on their own.

Getting back to the monologue, I think “being one forever” does have a supernatural angle to it. I think with enough love, Jack might get more of a grip on reality. It might even progress to the point that he can be perceived by others, strong enough that no one could ever banish him to the hell of the VHS tape ever again.

Heck, if Jack gets stronger, he could possibly gain even more supernatural ghost(?) powers. We really don’t know the full extent of what he can do yet after all.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask #Transcript

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sevicia · 11 months

Text

(Dano) Riddler playlist + explanations

❔Youtube / Spotify❔

🚨 Disclaimer: These are my personal interpretations of his character. There are a few songs that are purely here because of fanon interpretations I have seen of him (that I don't necessarily share, but still think are neat). The songs are in no particular order.

🚨Disclaimer 2: There are spoilers for Year One! Also, a lot of these are about his relationship to Batman. In my defense, Batman is a major part of his development, motivation and most importantly, the trigger that really gets the story going.

Happy Meal I by The Cardigans - This is what I imagine a more calm Edward would think about when imagining a meeting with Batman, especially because of the Lyrics: "and now I've found a partner / no one can be happier than I am / and now I've found a new friend / no one can be happier than me"

Happy Meal II by The Cardigans - This is basically the same song except with a few minor changes in the lyrics and a slightly different vibe but I still include it because hey, it's a good song and it reminds me of him.

Of Angels and Angles by The Decemberists - A calm song that I think portrays his pain in a much quieter way than the comics. Lyrics: "there's a tough word on your crossword / there's a bed bug nipping a finger / there's a swallow, there's a calm / here's a hand to lay on your open palm today"

#1 Crush by Garbage - Riddlebat fanon song, about what Edward feels for The Batman, his willingness to be noticed and the fact he sees Batman in everything as a source of hope and comfort. Lyrics: "see your face every place that I walk in / hear your voice every time that I'm talking / you will believe in me / and I will never be ignored"

Paranoid Android by Radiohead - This song is so him it's not even funny. The first verse is him being overwhelmed by the constant corruption he sees in Gotham. The second is his relationship to Bruce after he learns of Renewal ("when I am king, you will be first against the wall"). The third is his views towards Gotham elite: they are pigs who don't care about the people they step on, but they will know his name eventually, as The Riddler. The fourth is a reflection while he's in Arkham and everything is over (after the flood): it's a desperate calm and a reminder of his days at the orphanage, trapped and hopeless.

My Iron Lung by Radiohead - This is half vibe half actual Riddler stuff, it makes me think of what Edward would've felt as a teenager; to me he would've been cynical and dissilusioned with life. Lyrics: "faith, you're driving me away / you do it everyday / you don't mean it / but it hurts like hell"

Bound For The Floor by Local H - The whole song reminds me of the part in the comics where Edward is trying to figure out what is really going on with Renewal and becomes frustrated. Lyrics highlight: "and you just don't get it, you keep it copacetic / and you learn to accept it, you know you're so pathetic"

I'm Your Boyfriend Now by They Might Be Giants - This is more of a Riddlebat song than a purely Riddler song and dips more into fanon than anything else, since a common interpretation of his character is having stalker tendencies when regarding romantic interests (looking at Batman rn). I think it's pretty fitting and this fanart inspired me to put it here. Lyrics: "you don't have to say it, I can see it in your eyes / I can feel it in your heart / I can hear it in your silence"

Inside My Head by Radiohead - The entire song is VERY close to his character (or at least how I view it), he is constantly blaming himself and when he realizes his situation had always been out of his control to begin with he turns to spite against everyone and everything that wronged or rejected him. For a long time he doesn't understand or know why his life is the way it is because he drowns in self-deprecation. Lyrics: "what do you want from me? / now you got me / now my fingers bleed / now they're staring at me / I'm a coward now / I hold my peace"

All I Think About Now by Pixies - Just a personal headcanon of mine that if he'd ever had a happy moment (such as the hope he felt when Thomas Wayne told him he had a future), he would mourn it and drown in all the possibilities of what his life could've been. Lyrics: "about the things that didn't last / if I could go to the beginning / then for sure I would be another way / make it better for today"

Baby, You're a Bomb by Get Set Go - Fanon Riddlebat song. The interpretation of Edward being so desperate for Batman's attention and being into pain at the same time is a very interesting mix. Lyrics: "take my body, take my soul / take the thoughts inside my head / you can masticate me whole / just don't leave me 'til I'm dead"

Bullet With Butterfly Wings - About Edward's rage and discontent, and his feelings towards the city. Lyrics: "the world is a vampire sent to drain / secret destroyers hold you up to the flames / and what do I get for my pain? / betrayed desires and a piece of the game"

Only by Nine Inch Nails - Edward's relationship towards Batman as he transforms into The Riddler. He is losing his old self, knowing that whoever he used to be is not of help to his cause: the only thing that matters is the pain he's felt. It also works as a reflection of his feelings towards Batman after he is rejected by him in the talking room scene. Lyrics: "now I am somewhere I am not supposed to be / and I can see things I never should've seen / and now I know why, and now I know why / things aren't as pretty on the inside"

Trouble Awful Devil Evil by They Might Be Giants - A moment of calmness (that I wish he could have) as he falls asleep thinking of what he will become. Here because of this fanart. Lyrics: "trouble awful devil evil / trouble awful devil evil / bat wings flapping just over my bed / swooping whirling around overhead"

No Surprises by Radiohead - Another more calm song that I believe still portrays his feelings towards his life accurately, seeing it through a lens of sadness rather than rage and despair. Lyrics: "a heart that's full up like a landfill / a job that slowly kills you / bruises that won't heal / you look so tired, unhappy / bring down the government / they don't, they don't speak for us"

Heaven Beside You by Alice In Chains - Again a song about his relationship with Batman (sorry), more of a headcanon/personal interpretation than anything. Still I think it shows how he would feel if he ever came to peace with the realization that Batman is Bruce Wayne (unlikely, but still). The song is pretty repetitive so I don't think it's necessary to write down the lyrics.

Bailando Solo by Los Bunkers - Token song in spanish, about what his teenage self felt a lot of the time (in my opinion). Lyrics, translated by me: "now that you're here, drowned in the middle of the crowd / and you're willing to do more than you can stand / the speakers amplifying the truth / now that you're here, in the middle of loneliness"

Discipline by Nine Inch Nails - Yet another song about him and Batman, about how he feels they help each other, and about how his cause and his "relationship" with him become his reasons to live. Lyrics: "and now it's starting up / feels like I'm losing touch / and nothing matters to me / nothing matters as much"

Creep by Radiohead - I couldn't NOT include this here. He often feels inadequate, rejected both by society and by himself, and he finds meaning in his life (or at least a new reason, a new drive) when he first sees Batman. He idolizes him as a beacon of hope and justice, someone worth something as he is making a change for the city. Lyrics: "you're just like an angel / your skin makes me cry / you float like a feather / in a beautiful world"

Stan by Eminem ft. Dido - Here ENTIRELY because of this fanart which I saw and thought to myself "yeah, it checks out". The song itself tells a story, but the overall meaning of it still stands: an obsessed fan that believes himself to have the right to make demands of his object of affection, as well has having a special connection/relationship with him. Lyrics: "you gotta call me, man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose / sincerely yours, [Edward] — P.S. We should be together too"

I Am You by Depeche Mode - About how he views Batman as a partner and, in a way, an extension of himself: they fight for the same cause, they are together, they understand each other. Lyrics: "strange compulsions that I can't control / pure possession of my heart and soul / I must live with this reality"

March Of The Pigs by Nine Inch Nails - Pretty much just his feelings towards Gotham's elite and what his plans are for them. Lyrics: "bite, chew, suck away the tender parts / I wanna break it up, I wanna smash it up, I wanna fuck it up / I wanna watch it come down"

Aaand that's it! Sorry it got so long lol, I had a lot to say :] you can rb this if you wanna, encouraged because I would love for more people to see / hear it and tell me what they think 🥳

#edward nashton #the riddler #dano riddler #the batman #the batman 2022 #riddlebat #(I wish I knew who the artist of the last fanart mentioned was but I can't find them .⁠·⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠(⁠>⁠▂⁠<⁠)⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠·⁠.)#riddler

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psychelis-new · 3 months

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Hi Lys, could you help interpret my dream, please?

But before you read about it, I’d like to warn that there might be uncomfortable contents (desc of dirty restroom, mentions of taking a leak)

Please only read if you’re okay with them :

There had been a natural disaster. My parents, me, and my cat had evacuated from our home town and arrived at a bustling area, where they sold food. But the area was not safe, with many muggers hanging around.

I was 4 y.o in my dream. I needed to pee so my dad stopped by a public restroom. He brought me down from the motorcycle (we were poor) and I remember having a white fluffy cat (quiet/calm, but frail and almost lifeless) draped on my right shoulder. Funny thing is I’ve never had a cat irl.

I left the cat with my mom and my dad took me to the restroom. In my dream, the restroom was very dirty (of footprints and dirt) and smelly. I’d never been to such horrific restroom even irl.

My dad went inside a stall with me and while I was doing the deed, one mugger entered the restroom and started banging each stall.

By the time the mugger was in front of my stall, I felt scared, but also assured that I’d be alright with my dad there (the person physically didn’t look like my dad, but he felt dependable). The dream ended there and I woke up feeling super tired.

I rarely remember weird dreams, so I feel like this could be a message. Please tell me what you think Lys! :)

Hello! Thanks for the disclaimer but for me those are totally okay topics. Even more as we're talking about dreams.

There are a couple of possible explanations imo but I think more likely there might have been some sort of trigger irl about a certain strong event (that may have happened in your childhood too) that shook your more vulnerable side or touched an old wound and you're trying to hold back and are not confronting it cause it's painful/stressful. You may have been neglected (even by yourself) in some ways, or felt invaded in your privacy (or that your privacy is somewhat at risk) or generally felt unsafe/under attack or controlled, or you even feel regretful for something, and you're trying to get out of that negative emotion by searching for support and starting anew (maybe you're even thinking about moving? Not sure here tbh, but it could be figurative like avoiding and pretending it's not there to start anew).

It may be something you're struggling to confront entirely cause it feels just too overwhelming and you'd just want it to pass and feel better, more carefree and relieved. But you're being guided and protected while you're on this path, purging what you need to purge and giving to/nurturing yourself. And even if you're not aware or everything is clear or the results are sure as you'd like, moving on this path will be very fruitful to you and help you close with that negative cycle.. but you need to let go of something -control?- (it's in your power). Probably it also feels unsafe to emotionally reach that moment/event to you, but you're told you're safe, even if you feel powerless in regards to this event/emotion or if it feels too big/unsurmountable. Keep working on it and remember you're the one in charge mentally. I think there's an idea (not something concrete, more of a feeling indeed) that is scarying you and blocking you from really taking the necessary steps to move on from it, so try to balance it all and move slow but with your goal in sight. And you can also ask for help in the meantime ofc.

Maybe you felt like you couldn't be comforted as you wished to unless you worked hard or people pleased? And you got pretty much controlled and judged? You're able to carry a lot but you also need to release this toxic emotion now and feel lighter (like is peeing irl). Maybe you're already starting to move in that sense... probably you're the one guiding your(younger)self to feel better and protecting them as you're going through this. And if it's so, keep going. It may take a while and it may be tough but you'll feel better.

All the best! Take care<3

#.#dreams #dreams interpretations

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ficretus · 4 months

Text

My dislike towards Pyre theory Knightfall

I feel like being negative today. Disclaimer of course, I am not attacking anyone whole believes in this theory, just my thoughts about it, which are mostly negative.

First of all, what is Pyre theory? It's theory that Maiden powers behave the same way as Ozma's reincarnation curse. Whenever Maiden dies, next one inherits the soul of previous Maiden, behaving similar as Ozma with his reincarnations. This would mean that Pyrrha's soul is within Cinder and it will eventually fully resurface. There are of course interpretations where Pyrrha just defeats Cinder internally and takes over the body, but I'll focus on Knightfall interpretation of this theory which implies Pyrrha will help redeem Cinder and story will end with Jaune/Pyrrha/Cinder (but not really since two of them share the body).

____________________________________________________________

With that out the way, let me start with what I think makes no sense with the theory. First, if it behaves like Ozma's curse, then the original version should be the one reincarnating, not subsequent ones. Meaning, if Fall Maiden powers behave the same way as Ozma's curse, then Cinder would have the soul of original Fall Maiden in her body, not Pyrrha's.

Even if we ignore that and say Maiden powers behave differently than Ozma incarnations, why would it be Pyrrha? At no point in the story is Pyrrha fully fledged Maiden. Cinder absorbed half of Amber's Maiden powers in flashback, leaving her as empty husk. She then proceeded to interrupt transfer process in Volume 3. And when she did so, it is heavily implied she took all the power with Amber's death. So at most, Pyrrha had just smidge or no Maiden powers at all. So logically, if the theory is correct, the one in Cinder's body should be Amber's soul, not Pyrrha's.

We've also never seen this happen in canon, despite meeting several Maiden characters. Raven doesn't show any indications of having another soul within her despite being Maiden for years. And I wouldn't read too deep into Penny's last words to Winter, since that feels like more of a figure of speech than anything. You wouldn't be bidding someone final farewell if your soul is gonna pop up in their body in near future.

_____________________________________________________________

So far, it seems pretty illogical to me, but let me focus on what is often presented as smoking gun. During the fight with Jaune in Volume 5, Cinder avoids seriously injuring Jaune and instead decides to impale Weiss with the spear. Both avoiding injuring Jaune and using spear to impale Weiss have been interpreted as Pyrrha's soul within Cinder subconsciously protecting Jaune (and attack on Weiss as Pyrrha's lingering resentment because Jaune's crush on her).

This to me doesn't work. First of all, I feel like Cinder not hurting Jaune fails hard on Occam's razor. There are so many interpretations more plausible than "Pyrrha's soul is stopping her". Maybe it's arrogance because Jaune is not a threat to her, maybe it's sadism because she wants him to witness his friends' demise (and she knows she won't get any pleasure from his death since he has no will to live), maybe it's caution since she doesn't want to trigger Ruby's silver eyes, maybe that JNPR anthology chapter is canon and she thinks he is cute, and so on. My point is that it's a stretch.

Cinder using spear might seem odd, but then you realize she often copies tactics and moves from her opponents. Relatively recent example is her copying Fria's Maiden power vortex at the end of Volume 8. It's also different looking spear compared to Milo.

I don't wanna even entertain prospect of Cinder impaling Weiss as "it's Pyrrha". Because if that's the case, that has to be the biggest character assassination in the show. Pyrrha going from selfless to the fault to "I am gonna stab that bitch because she is too close to Jaune". If there is indeed Pyrrha inside of Cinder subconsciously affecting her actions, there is no way she'd drive her to behave as stereotypical yandere. Besides, Cinder's backstory gives us enough explanation why she hates Atlas and anything Atlas related.

Whole Volume 5 argument feels incredibly wonky to me and seems to rely on stretching events to fit what you want them to fit and outright character assassination.

______________________________________________________________

There is also an argument that Pyrrha hasn't resurfaced yet based on Salem's faction's shock at realizing how fast Ozma reincarnated. However, I feel like that simply takes away any supposed evidence theory had and puts it on hold until further notice.

To me, this theory feels like something that needs lot of build up. You can't just suddenly reveal in theoretical Volume 11 "oh, Pyrrha was there the entire time". As it is, there is no any foreshadowing. You can argue I am being hypocritical here since I theorize Knightfall as plausible endgame scenario despite that also having almost no build up so far. But here is the thing, this is even more complicated version of Knightfall. This requires set up of Pyrrha being established as being inside of Cinder and Pyrrha and Cinder coming to terms with each other before even going towards Knightfall. And considering story is slowly approaching it's climax (or I guess not approaching looking at recent developments), I feel like there is not enough space for all of that to happen.

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Ok, but even if I ignore all inconsistencies with established powers and say it's possible to cram all these plot developments within 4-5 volumes without feeling rushed, I have to ask, is it necessary? Is Pyrrha being inside Cinder necessary for her redemption and potential romance with Jaune? I'd say no.

Pyrrha's story doesn't hit any particular beat that makes me go "if she had a talk with Cinder she'd be able to help her". At most, you can go with "power won't make you happy" angle. Pyrrha had status and power her entire life, yet she didn't feel truly happy until she met Jaune. She could try to reason with Cinder to make her see the truth. However, I don't think Pyrrha is necessary for this. Not only is Cinder becoming more and more miserable which could make her see this on her own, she is also bound to Relic that makes user see various futures. Cinder seeing doomed future of her quest for power via Relic of Choice is significantly simpler and likely way to do it.

On the other hand, you have Jaune, who is almost mirror to Cinder. Both have deep self worth issues connected to their perceived weakness. Both also experienced bullying because of it. However, Jaune always had someone to pick him up and help him, while Cinder was alone most of her journey. Cinder is what Jaune could have been if he had nobody to support him and vice versa. To me, Jaune is almost perfect character to reach out to Cinder, while Pyrrha feels inferior to various other main characters (Ruby, Yang, Blake) in that regard. If they want to redeem Cinder, "ingredients" are already there, there is no reason to dig up Pyrrha's corpse (or urn I guess) to do it.

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There are also multiple narrative casualties of this theory, besides Pyrrha's potential character assassination if Weiss' impalement was her doing.

First victim is Cinder. Common aspect of her story is lack of choice and control. First fifteen years of her life she was either abused in orphanage or enslaved by Madame. She quite literally had no control over her circumstances. Then she becomes agent of Salem, giving her illusion of control and letting her roleplay as huntress, something she perceived as most free profession one can have. However, in aftermath of Volume 3, she is grimmified due to her sustained injuries. So now, she has both limited control of her circumstances and her body.

But then comes Pyrrha, worming herself inside of Cinder, something Cinder cannot control. So all previous losses of control were treated as bad thing by narrative, however, this one is treated as something positive. So character that is supposed to be about breaking free and making her own choice is being redeemed by losing control over her own mind. Am I the only one that thinks this would be beyond weird? Oscar is another character losing his sense of self due to sharing his body, but this is not treated as a good thing. If Pyre were to happen, this creates hypocritical narrative that it's bad when your friend is having his mind taken over, but it's good when your enemy has their mind taken over.

However, I feel like Jaune is bigger victim of this theory. First of all, his character gets stuck in permanent state of always relying on Pyrrha. You know that phase of the story when Jaune considered himself worthless because Pyrrha was gone and he tried to martyr himself? Well, it appears he wasn't wrong. This resolves Jaune's rivalry with Cinder by having Pyrrha jump in to save the day, proving he indeed never grew as a character. Be it Jaune redeeming Cinder or helping to defeat her, these scenarios at least showcase Jaune's character growth. He won his own way, relying on his own strengths and talents. Having Pyrrha appear to save the day regresses his character back to early volume days.

Additionally, this is pet peeve I have with certain people regarding Knightfall. Basically, people go "oh I can't ship this, she killed Pyrrha" or opposite "this AU is fine because she didn't kill Pyrrha in it". Of course, you can ship whatever you want and dislike whatever you want, this isn't shipping police. Pyre theory to me feels this way. It's okay to ship them now, because Pyrrha is technically alive and they have her blessing. And I feel this would make Jaune weirdly hypocritical. People seem to forget Cinder killed way more people than just Pyrrha and hyper focus on her. Jaune forgiving Cinder in scenarios in which Pyrrha is definitively dead is significantly more powerful. It turns him into almost ideal hero that is willing to extend his hand to someone who hurt him beyond reasonable measure. Pyrrha being alive kind of undermines that. Cinder's biggest sin is erased and Jaune is now okay with her. After all, she only killed bunch of minor characters, she didn't kill his partner.

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That's enough rambling for today. I might come overly negative here, but I don't think Pyre theory is completely bad. What Embers Remain on fanfiction.net is one of my favorite Knightfall fanfictions, and that's technically Pyre theory. However, I dislike narrative implications this theory would have if it were to happen. Although I don't think I've seen any serious Pyre theory speculations in a while, so theory might be dead and this post was just multiple paragraphs of beating up a dead horse.

Either way, what are your thoughts on Pyre theory?

#jaune arc #rwby jaune arc #cinder fall #knightfall #rwby cinder fall #rwby knightfall #rwby pyrrha nikos #pyrrha nikos

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