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hellishattempt · 1 year

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wally: ew a spider!

the spider: ew, an emotionally unstable loser who won't stop shoving food in their fat face, and has been crying over the same person who doesn't care about them, for weeks!

wally: well- you didn't have to be mean

the spider: doesn't feel so good, does it? bitch.

wally: did you just call me a bitch?

the spider: *hisses*

wally: *shrieks*

#wally west #incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #young justice #young justice funny #dc funny #dc funny quotes #kid flash #kid flash incorrect quotes #dc #dc universe

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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason (Age 12): I’m not gonna die from inhaling cigarette smoke, quit worrying, B.

Jason (Age 15): *dies from smoke inhalation*

Jason (Age 19): Well, it wasn’t the cigarettes.

#i find it darkly funny that people probably told Jason smoking would kill him #and then he died from smoke inhalation #irony i guess?#incorrect batman quotes #batman #dc comics #dc #dcu #jason todd #incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #batfam #incorrect dc quotes #humor

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sodamnbored · 29 days

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Damian, entering the living room: Oh, Drake. I didn’t realise you were here too.

Tim, distracted on his phone on the couch: Yeah, best WiFi around. Keeping busy?

Damian, looking in cupboards and chandeliers for acrobatic older brothers: Looking for Dick.

Tim absently, not looking up from Grindr: Mm, me too.

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lustwithoutlore · 2 months

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Stephanie, clearly upset: I just spent $30 at the grocery store and all I got was eggs, mayonnaise, fruit, and pop.

Tim: Oh so prices have gone down, that’s good.

Stephanie: …. I really hate you sometimes, Tim. Really hate you.

Tim: Isn’t $30 for all that cheap?

Stephanie, calling Jason: I need an immediate extraction I’m about to kill Tim.

Jason: … And you need the extraction, why?

#steph: *cocks gun* time to eat the fucking rich #tim: thank god if I get killed I can finally rest #steph: *lowers gun* uh…. you good bro?#batfamily #batman #jason todd #red hood #batfam #tim drake #stephanie brown #batgirl #red robin #dc comics #dc comics funny #incorrect batfamily quotes

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vixfern · 4 months

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Bruce: So what's for dinner?

Clark: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Is it soup?

Clark: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Bruce: Please, Clark, enough with the soup puns.

Clark: Wow, you're soup-per mean.

Bruce: STOP!

*one hour later*

Bruce: It's fucking tacos?!?!?!

#batman #dc #batfam #batfamily #dc comics #dcu #bruce wayne #Clark Kent #Superman #soup puns #funny #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #Superbat #bruce wayne x clark kent #bruce x clark #superman x batman #incorrect Superbat quotes

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shyjusticewarrior · 3 months

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Jason: As your favorite Robin-

Tim: Dick's my favorite Robin.

Jason: As your favorite Robin-

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dc-and-damirae · 11 months

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random hero: aren't you embarrassed about being related to the villain red hood?

Dick: honestly, I'm more embarrassed about being related to Tim

*Tim walks in covered in glitter and offers no explanation*

Jason watching on the monitors at his safe house: lol

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cardinalcheerio · 5 months

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I have a headcannon that at some point in his early robin days, Jason decided he wanted to be like Alfred and committed to drinking tea, using British slang and the accent while being robin.

This obviously confused the rogues a lot.

Fighting Mr. Freeze:

Jason: aye, what in the bloody hell do you think your doin? (Horrible British and gotham accent mix)

Freeze: I am- wait. Robin? Are you ok?

Bats: it's a phase. Just ignore it.

Freeze: keep forgetting he's a kid... anyways-

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robinsleeping · 4 months

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Tim Drake once said:

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nookisms · 8 months

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The Riddler: Riddle me thi- Is that a fucking kid.

Dick Grayson, a non-native English speaker: What does fucking mean?

The Riddler: Fuck- I mean shit- I mean it's a grown up word, ask your dad about it

[A Few Years Later]

The Riddler: Riddle me th- Is that another fucking kid

Jason Todd, raised in Crime Alley his entire life: Who the hell you calling a fucking kid? I'll beat your ass motherfucker, you and me right now.

The Riddler: Wow you are. Something.

[A Few Years After That]

The Riddler: Riddle me- Where the fuck are you getting these children?

Tim Drake, raised in high society but also not raised at all: That's a naughty word sir.

The Riddler: At least you're polite

[A Few More Years Later]

The Riddler: Riddle m- WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS ONE HAVE A SWORD!?

Damian Wayne, above silly things like Vulgar Language: I Was Expecting A Battle Of Wits, But You Appear To Be Unarmed.

The Riddler: WHY DOES HE TALK LIKE THAT???

#there is now Bonus Content in the reblogs #DC #Dick Grayson #Jason Todd #tim drake #Damian Wayne #edward nygma #Batfam #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #this all started with me and my friends going ''riddle me this- is that a fcking kid''#stop telling me to not censor it's a personal choice I've been here nearly ten years #anyway this is what I think they were like at the very beginning #they changed of course but it's very funny to think this #she speks #she speks originale

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theerurishipper · 1 month

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Actually Batman shouldn't kill. The reason he doesn't kill is because he believes wholeheartedly in the good in humanity and the sacred value of all life. His belief in rehabilitation and second chances is meant to put him in contrast with the corruption in Gotham, both with regard to the corrupt justice system/police force and the criminals, who all take lives with no regard for its value. Being surrounded by such fatal violence and corruption on a systemic level and even being affected by it on a personal level, and yet finding the strength to not only rise beyond it, but to fight for a way to fix and save the very cause of such unfathomable pain is what defines the character of Batman. Batman is about protecting the innocent and fighting against injustice so that what happened to him never happens to anyone else. Batman is about breaking the cycle of killing and rising beyond it to become a beacon of hope for a better future. Batman killing and taking justice into his own hands is literally the antithesis to his character. If your Batman kills, then he is not Batman.

#What part of killing makes you no better than the ones you are fighting do some people not get #He believes in rehabilitation not punishment #That trait is fundamental to his character and if you take it away you take away what makes Batman Batman #I'm sure everyone knows the “punisher in a funny hat” quote so please remember that again #DC #DCU #Bruce Wayne #Batman #Batfamily #Batfam #Meta #My meta #DC Comics

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causeimanartist · 1 year

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Clark: that's it, I'm calling the League's therapist

Bruce: they can't handle me

#batman #bruce wayne #dc #my art #causeimanartist #the good place #the good place quote #going back to ol reliable to get me to draw #aka finding funny quotes/screenshots of stuff and turning it into b

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just-another-rainy-day · 4 months

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Duke Thomas at some point probably: Hey guys, I just realized all numbers are subjective and have no meaning. Like four hours of sleep isn’t enough, but four murders is too many.

Tim: I don’t know what you’re talking about man, that’s so much sleep to get in a night.

Jason: Yeah, four murders is hardly any! Did you mean in a night or in a week?

Duke:…I kinda meant a lifetime…

Jason: Oh.

#batman #batfam #jason todd #tim drake #duke thomas #batfamily #funny post #dc comics #dc universe #dc incorrect quotes #dc characters

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mylifeisfruk4ever · 6 months

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Clark: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Bruce: I saw you.

Clark: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Lex in a turkey costume.

#superbattinson #superbat #superman #superman x batman #clark kent #bruce wayne #dc superbat #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect dc comics #funny #funny post #funny content #dc universe #crossover #kal el #justice league

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marshmallow---pillow · 14 days

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Harley, with a recently-renewed psychiatry degree: So you take any recreational drugs or drinks in excess?

Bruce: No

Harley: *writes Big Nerd on her chart and underlines it three times*

[source]

#incorrect batfamily quotes #dc #jason todd #alfred pennyworth #damian wayne #dick grayson #batfamily #tim drake #batman #bruce wayne #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #Kay's funnies

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vixfern · 4 months

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Jason: We're going to have to split up, like in Scooby Doo.

Jason, to Dick and Damian: You guys are Scooby and Shaggy. You can search the bathrooms.

Jason, to Tim: Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge in the basement.

Tim: What? Why am I Velma? And why do I get the... dubious looking device?

Jason: Because only Velma would say "dubious device". Tim gets the spooky fridge in the basement.

Damian: And what does that make you, Fred?

Jason: Bitch, I'm Daphne.

#batman #dc #batfam #batfamily #dc comics #dcu #jason todd #red hood #damian wayne #tim drake #scooby doo #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #funny #dc robin #red robin #nightwing #dick grayson

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