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#day out it would be fine to plan around bc it's consistent. now who fucking knows. not to mention the fucking traffic i'll get stuck in
gentlethorns · 4 months
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that's it i'm quitting ooooooh i wanna quit so fucking bad
#she bork#they're making me switch positions w the other team lead so i'm losing the inbound team (which i hate bc 1. they hate the other team lead b#he sucks and ik they're going to suffer and 2. EYE built that fucking team from the ground up) and also losing my consistent schedule AND#losing my immunity from closing AND losing my extra $1 an hour for my overnight hours so essentially i'm taking a fucking pay cut!!!!!!!!!!#there are no benefits to this and that's it i have decided i'm fucking quitting this holds nothing beneficial or enjoyable to me anymore. i#applied for a remote writing job already so we'll see if they get back to me i have my fingers CROSSED.#lol yes i only applied to one but i'm hoping that if i only throw one dart at this dartboard it's a bullseye. if not i'll keep looking it'l#just take longer obviously bc i'm not quitting without something else lined up. i'm crazy and restless but i'm not an idiot#forgot to mention that i've known this was coming but i was under the illusion it was taking place mid-january but now have just been told#it starts NEXT WEEK. so the schedule i had for the next two weeks?? now incorrect and wrong. god this is going to make moving once we find a#place (again) so much more difficult bc i missed my chance to request time off for january already but w my old 3:30-11 schedule day in and#day out it would be fine to plan around bc it's consistent. now who fucking knows. not to mention the fucking traffic i'll get stuck in#every day going to and coming from work??? again will make moving more difficult bc that'll probably shave like 1.5-2 hours off my time#outside of work. god this sucks this sucks this sucks i hate it it feels like a punishment (even though my boss told me not to think that bc#he knew i would lol) and idk for what???? i feel like they think i'm inept in my current position and idk why. hate this hate this hate this
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inkovert · 4 months
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Things I want to do in 2024
I've never been the type to make resolutions and I know we tend to put more weight on them than they actually are meant to have, hence why we never follow through with them. So! I am attempting to just make a list of things I am hoping to do in 2024. very low stakes. not going to think of these as goals, just things I want to do. and hope that I follow through with some of them.
Health-related
Planning my meals and keeping a food journal: I've been on a health journey for about the past year and I want to try to get back on track with that and be more consistent with it. I've been trying to be more consistent with preparing home cooked meals rather than relying on frozen meals/eating out, eating 3 meals a day etc, and that's been going well so far, but it could be better. I think one way to help myself be more consistent is planning my meals out (not like meal-prepping just literally being like this day I'm going to eat these things so I have a more structured "menu" vs throwing things together in my head the day of). I think I also want to start keeping a food journal. I peeped that iOS added a Journal app to the new software and I might try that out to see how useful it would be for food journaling, doing things like documenting my mood around the times I eat, what I eat etc.
Find a new dentist and start flossing: When I say I've been on a health journey over the last year I really mean in every possible way you can think of lol. Dental health was one of them. I've made a lot of improvements but I'm so prone to getting cavities that I think I could make a few more. I am one of the 60% of people who do not floss every day bc I found it hard/time-consuming/unnecessary. But I started doing it a couple weeks ago and... it wasn't so bad? I was pretty consistent with it until I went home for the holidays and that fell to crap bc I couldn't find the floss I had packed. anywho. I want to continue to be consistent with that and make that a habit, in addition to finding a new dentist bc the last one I saw was a bit too...assertive and I didn't like their staff so decided never to go back there again.
Personal/things that actually make me excited
Decorate my room: lol. Can you believe I've lived in my apt for two years and I've yet to decorate my room (even the bathroom has some stuff hung up on the walls). I literally have the decorations sitting in a pile by my bedroom door collecting dust. So yeah. I wanna actually do that. Tbf what stopped me before was that I wasn't confident I'd be able to stay in this apt for long. I thought for sure after a year they would jack up the price and I would be forced to move. But, we're now going on three years and things have been fine so I should actually properly decorate the place.
✨ Get a tattoo ✨ The sparkles are because this is probably the thing I'm most excited about on this list. I have wanted a tattoo for as long as I can remember. And I finally decided last year that I was going to say fuck it and get one. But unfortunately the finances weren't financing so it got delayed. But it's happening this year!! For sure!!! Hopefully in the next few months!! I need to stop delaying it and just do it!! So yeah. I've made my best friend keep me accountable each step of the way so I can stop procrastinating. So she gave me a deadline of Friday, 1/5 to at least have a list of tattoo artists I'm considering. We're doing this!!!
Actually leave my house and spend time in places I enjoy: Since my two closest friends moved away last year I haven't had a lot of incentive to go out and do things. So I've just been spending a lot of time at home by myself. And solitude is so nice. So comfortable. So blissful. But I need to end that. Or at least cut down on it a little. There are things I actively want to do in my city but every time the weekend comes I end up staying in my house doing nothing for 2 days straight. And it's been great. But I need to push myself to actually go out and do things by myself. Go to live music concerts, hang out at bookstores or coffee shops. Just something to have a change of pace and environment. I know I will be better for it. I'm gonna challenge myself to go out by myself at least once a month. If I do more? great. But we're starting small.
Writing-related
Track my writing: I'm not going to push myself to have word count goals or anything like that because I think that would be counter productive and take the fun out of writing for me. I actually wrote a lot last year (I just calculated it - 174, 817 words according to Scrivener; kinda insane can't remember the last time I wrote that much in a year) so I don't think I have issues with word quantity or writing enough and if it ain't broke don't fix it! But I do want to track my writing a little more closely. I just think it could be fun tracking the stats behind it and looking back at it at the end of the year. and also maybe help me continue this consistency with writing that I've suddenly developed?
Write something for fun: I can't tell you how much it hurts me that I don't have any fun/silly projects that I can work on on the side that I don't care about getting perfect. I think it will be nice and freeing and challenge my writing chops a bit to write something completely out of my comfort zone, totally absurd, and purely for my enjoyment. I've just been too crippled with fear to even try and idk why. I want to do it so badly but I struggle with coming up with ideas (and with working on more than one thing at once). We'll see it if it happens. this is just a list of things I want to do who knows if I'll actually do them.
Finish the second draft of MDE: just gonna throw this one in here out of obligation. refer to the last sentence of the previous bullet point. I wrote half of it in a year, maybe it's possible to write the other half in a year?
If you made it this far, thank you for reading. gonna come back to this in 6 months and see if anything I listed here actually panned out lol
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jungkxook · 3 years
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—midnight getaway. (m)
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⟶ pairing: jung wooyoung x fem!reader 
⟶ genre: sprinkle of youtuber!wooyoung + fluff / smut
⟶ words: 6,488
⟶ rating: 18+ 
⟶ summary: a “romantic” getaway surrounded by your friends leads to an interesting night alone with wooyoung
⟶ warnings: pwp, wooyoung says baby a lot bc he’s in love, some teasing woo, exhibitionism, doggy style, sort of praise kink, ass play (fingering, fem!recieving), breast play/fondling, finger sucking, riding, unprotected sex, creampie 
⟶ note: this is the first fic i’ve written in a while and my first ateez fic no one come for me pls also this is dedicated to the lovely @kithtaehyung​ !! thank you for always encouraging me and my wooyoung antics!! 💛
p.s. this is shamelessly inspired by this wooyoung selfie!!
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“Ugh. You obviously like her.”
The begrudging sigh comes from Yeosang, narrowly giving Wooyoung a heart attack when he realizes that you’re still within earshot. This wouldn’t have been so much of an issue had Yeosang not been so clearly talking about you to Wooyoung, though he barely has any time to recollect himself. Instead, sprawled out on the poolside of the villa the group had rented out for their week-long vacation in Jeju Island, Wooyoung firstly decides that he has no idea what Yeosang’s talking about.
“We’re just friends,” Wooyoung retorts.
“A friend you invite with you on a romantic getaway?” Yeosang asks with a wolfish grin.
Wooyoung shakes his head. He can still see you through the windows of the villa, now in the kitchen talking to Hongjoong. You’re all bright-eyed and glowing from the sun, in a swimsuit you had been putting to use just a few minutes ago when you took a dip in the pool. “Some romantic getaway, considering there’s seven idiots in the same house as us. Also thought this trip was meant to have no distractions.”
Which isn’t really a lie, because while their trip to Jeju was mostly for their YouTube channels, it was also meant to serve as a well-deserved break for the boys, and their leisure work of choice wasn’t exactly taxing and the majority of their trip so far has been spent simply enjoying themselves. Hongjoong had been so adamant too that there would be nothing to hinder them during their well deserved break. And of course you jumped at the offer to tag along when Wooyoung asked you, because you were his best friend but, moreover, his best supporter when it came to his passion and his videos.
“Yeah,” San hums nonchalantly from within the pool. He had been one of the few to jump in with you earlier, “but I don’t think friends flirt with each other on a daily basis.”
“Not to mention your video was all about her,” Jongho adds from beside Wooyoung. “I thought we were supposed to be promoting tourism in Jeju, not Y/N.”
That was a bit of an exaggeration. Sure, you had featured in a lot of the video Wooyoung had only just posted for his “Our Side of the Story” series he was doing (mostly daily vlogs, or aesthetic short films that you’ve always loved ━ much like the others, who have found a way to incorporate their love for music, dance, cooking, and everything in between in their vlogs), but you always made an appearance when you were so close with him. His viewers were used to it by this point, safe for the occasional questioning comments as to whether or not you two were dating. This video in particular saw you having the most fun in a while, frolicking the streets of the city, sprinting across the beach into the shallows of the ocean to try and splash Wooyoung with water; shaved ice shared between you and him and the way you snuck a bite of his when he was preoccupied, bike rides along the waterfront, and clambering along hiking trails so you could pose in a field of flowers that you had so desperately wanted to see.
Now, Wooyoung gives a roll of his eyes. “Funny. I don’t know what you guys are talking about.”
“Yeah, sure,” Yeosang sighs again. “When are you gonna tell her the truth?”
“The video already kind of did,” Jongho points out tauntingly. “If I was Y/N, I would have already realized.”
“Yeah━” San is beaming now as he clambers out of the pool, “but if you don’t want her, Woo, can I make a pass at her? Y’know, just to help take her off your hands━ Ow! What the hell?”
San jumps suddenly when Wooyoung chucks one of the pillows off of the lawn chair at his head.
“Keep your hands off her━” Wooyoung chastises. It’s meant mostly as a joke, but he worries when he recognizes a small part of him seems to care a little too much.
The others seem to find it funny at least, erupting into howling laughter that’s quick to fade when you wander back out to the pool and throw yourself next to Wooyoung.
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“They’re definitely starting to catch on.”
Wooyoung lets out a weary sigh, though you’re starting to find it difficult to focus as he continues to kiss down your throat.
So, maybe if any of the boys walked in and saw the both of you in such a compromising position, they would be indescribably confused while also preparing to point an accusatory finger at Wooyoung for technically lying to them. But it isn’t really a lie, and certainly not one neither he nor you were keen on keeping for very long. It’s just that it seemed a whole lot easier to keep your newfound two month relationship with Wooyoung a secret for a small while.
It was mostly to give the both of you enough time to enjoy yourselves thoroughly without the prying eyes of your friends (who, while always supportive, are already passionately invested in your lifelong friendship with Wooyoung, pointing out his feelings for you even far before he could decipher them), their vlogging lifestyle, and their fans, while also waiting for the proper time to expose the truth. After the Jeju trip, you had both promised each other. But that plan was beginning to look more and more faulty as time passes.
What was supposed to be an innocent trip to Jeju with your friends turned into a tricky game in which Wooyoung had entirely different plans that consisted of you only. Specifically, how many times he can find you alone away from the boys to have his way with you. By now, night has since fallen and, after a short duration of time unwinding around a small bonfire in the backyard, the boys had all since retreated to their own rooms. You’re positive most are already long asleep and the ones that aren’t are beginning to nod off, exhausted after a long day and drowsy with liquor from the night of drinking. You’re fortunate Wooyoung at least first chose to find you alone in your room of the villa, but you still panic. Because Wooyoung should be sleeping in his shared room with Hongjoong down the hall from yours, yet here he was.
“My video today probably didn’t help,” Wooyoung adds. 
You hum in response. “I don’t know if sneaking into my room will help with that either.”
At this, Wooyoung grins wide. “It’s fine. Hongjoong’s passed out cold. You should hear his snores. Plus━” He presses a kiss to your shoulder. “I couldn’t sleep without wondering how quickly you can cum.”
You nearly choke as you hear the words fall from Wooyoung’s mouth.
But it wasn’t his fault ━ he has needs too.
The first night of your trip called for a joyous celebration at a nearby restaurant that resulted in everyone being blissfully drunk by the time you returned to the villa. You had gotten so dressed up for the occasion that Wooyoung hated to see it go to waste, adorned in a pretty floral sundress ━ one that has always been his favourite (and, no, he promises that’s not solely because of how nice your boobs look in it, though that’s definitely a plus). If the boys could hear his thoughts now, they’d certainly pick him apart.
The house, however big and spacious it may be, is certainly not empty. Even just next door to your room is the shared room both Mingi and San are in. This is a fact you choose to remind your dear boyfriend of now. “The boys are sleeping.”
“Screw the guys,” Wooyoung groans into your neck. His strong arms slide around your middle from behind, pulling you into an all too familiar and warm embrace. He’s caught you just before you can shed your dress and slip into something more comfortable, all radiant and shimmering from a day out in the sun. You melt almost immediately against his chest as he nibbles on the skin just below your ear, on the corner of your jaw. He whispers ardently, “You look really pretty today. You always do, but especially today.”
A gentle smile spreads across your face. You instinctively reach out behind you to rest your hand on the nape of his neck, fingers tugging at the hair there. “I wore this dress just for you. I know it’s your favourite.”
“Yeah, because your tits look amazing in it,” he snickers. As if to emphasize this, he reaches down slyly to cup one of your breasts over the material of your dress, giving it a squeeze.
“Well, now you’re just trying to distract me into bed with you.”
“Is it working?” he asks hopefully, a smug grin on his face.
You snicker, fidgeting in his hold to face him and patting at his shoulder. “Maybe if we weren’t surrounded by a group of seven drunk men who could potentially hear and walk in on me sucking you off at any moment.”
But Wooyoung has already waited all day for the boys to leave you two alone. Waiting any longer may as well have felt like an eternity in a certain type of special hell that he wasn’t exactly keen on.
“And?” A sudden smirk stretches across his face. He leans in close to you, lips brushing faintly against your ear. “You didn’t have a problem letting me fuck you against the practice room mirror the other day.”
You swat lightly at his chest, scoffing suddenly. “Wooyoung!”
But he has a point. In all fairness, it had been his idea to take you against the practice room mirror when the boys had gone home and you were dropping off food to your poor boyfriend still working late at night. You certainly hadn’t complained then when he had you coming around his cock with the practice room door left unlocked. It’s such a Wooyoung thing to say too, being that he’s not often caught off guard, especially when he’s so blatant and confident about all things sex.
“Can’t you keep it in your pants for one night, Woo?”
“No, he’s in pain,” he pouts childishly. He bites playfully at the tip of your nose.
You sputter for air, dissolving into a fit of laughter. “You did not just call your dick a he━”
“Okay, I’m in pain,” he corrects. He starts kissing down and back up your neck. “It’s not my fault you look extra hot today. Besides, you looked like you were having so much fun today. Is it so wrong for me to want to keep pampering my beautiful girlfriend?”
“With your dick?”
“Yes, with my dick.”
You snort.
“And━” He drags out the word purposely, a playful twinkle in his eyes. “I don’t even want you to suck me off, by the way. All I want is to fuck you senseless right now.”
Oh.
His words send a nerve right down to your core. Your thighs instinctively press together at the thought.
All things considered, you’re not any better. There was no denying how devastatingly attractive your boyfriend always looked, but especially today. A well-deserved break and the Jeju sun did him well, with a beautiful tan starting to glow on his face, free of any make-up or cover-ups. The usual stress of city life and work doesn’t weigh heavy on his brows anymore, and though his hair has gotten longer, it’s a neat and pretty mess ━ a little unruly from the sun and chlorine, and from having taken it down from its half-ponytail, but pretty nonetheless ━ with the under half of it bleached blonde and the top half dyed black. Dressed in nothing but a casual old t-shirt and a pair of board shorts, he’s both wholesomely cute and yet sexy at the same time.
And, while you are surrounded by a group of rowdy boys, Wooyoung isn’t necessarily wrong. He always seems to have a knack for making anything romantic enough if he tries, attributed to his charming ways. A night of lovemaking (or whatever he has in mind) in your room with a beachside view is, all things considered, kind of romantic.
You purse your lips now. “Think they’re all asleep?”
“With how wasted they are? Absolutely,” Wooyoung says brightly. “I tripped over a shoe in our room and Hongjoong didn’t even move.”
It’s risky, sure, but the sudden yearning to be with Wooyoung was almost debilitating. There was no doubt you could both get away with having sex in a packed house, right? Either way, it doesn’t really seem to matter. You’ve already been persuaded, and Wooyoung knows.
He pulls you in for a kiss and you let him get carried away for a moment, reveling in the way he needily nips and sucks at your lower lip. Then, finding a second of clarity, you can be heard saying against his mouth breathlessly, “We’ll have to be quiet.”
“Mmm,” he hums distractedly. “So quiet.”
But that was like asking Wooyoung not to breathe. It’s this passing thought, and the way he pulls and tugs you over to sit on his lap as he sinks onto the edge of the bed in a desperate haste, that has you giggling. He leaves a trail of sloppy kisses down to the underside of your jaw and then along your throat.
You tug at the hair at the nape of his neck as you begin to rut your hips against his slowly. “You look really handsome today, baby. It’s nice seeing you so relaxed for once.”
His stare meets yours suddenly, all sparkling and awed. He grips your waist and presses you a little more firmly against his hips so you can feel his semi-hard dick against your inner thigh. “Ugh,” he sighs, “say that again and I’ll bust a nut right here and now.”
Another giggle meets his ears, but this time it’s a little less focused as it splinters off into a whimper the longer you continue to grind against him. You decide to humour him. “I saw your vlog. It was pretty.”
He audibly whines now, his heart threatening to burst through his chest. “Yeah? I worked hard on it.”
“Is that how you see me?” You think back to the video and how you looked, the soft music overlapping it all.
“Yeah,” he deadpans, “like that piece of washed up kelp you tried throwing at me today━”
“You’re so━”
“I’m joking. Of course that’s how I see you, but that’s only a fraction of what you look like to me. A camera doesn’t do you justice.”
“So you think I’m pretty?” You snicker.
“So pretty.” He kisses you again, this time a little more earnestly. He sighs dreamily against your lips, “No, actually. If my dick isn’t in you in the next minute, I’m gonna go insane.”
A delighted simper sounds from you. “Don’t even have to cum, just as long as you do━”
Your jaw drops open as you find an angle that has you pushing your clit against his clothed dick just right. But even though you had so innocently offered to only get him off, part of the fun was seeing how quickly and how many times he could make you cum before finishing himself off. You deserve it, after all.
“God, you’re such a good girl,” he moans. He takes a moment to appreciate you in your current state. You, straddling his lap, eager hips moving against his with your brows pinched in concentration, the pretty material of your dress hiking up around your thighs. He reaches down, palms rough as they grip at the soft flesh of your thighs. “Look at you, already so needy for me. It’s so fucking sexy.”
Wooyoung fidgets beneath you. He burrows his face in the crook of your neck, nipping at your throat.
“How do you want me first, princess?” he asks sweetly now, peppering kisses along your throat, tongue soothing the marks he’s left behind. “Want my fingers in you?”
“N-No━” You croak. “Just wanna feel your dick.”
Excitement prickles at the tips of his fingers as he massages circles against your hips. “In your mouth or in you?”
“In me,” You rasp. “Now. Please, Woo━”
He marvels for a moment at how he’s so stupidly in love with you and your pretty words despite them having such dirty implications, and he hastens to please you. A wolfish grin tugs at his lips as he smothers them against your mouth, but then the giddy sensation of finally getting to have his cock buried in your walls overcomes him. He murmurs into a wet kiss, “As much as I love this dress, let’s get it off of you.”
He hastens to help you shove the straps of your dress down your shoulders, then off your arms. Then, he watches as you stand up to shimmy your way out of it, the material pooling at your feet, exposing your figure and the fact that you’re not even wearing a bra. The swell of your breasts meets his eyes first, and you’ve barely just kicked your way out of your panties when he’s pulling you onto his lap again, warm mouth latching onto one of your breasts. His lips wrap around your nipple, teeth nibbling on the sensitive bud. He can’t seem to get enough, moving to bite and suck at the soft flesh all over, shifting from one to the other, then down the valley of your breasts. A moan falls from your lips, hands pulling harshly at his hair as you push him further into your chest.
“Wooyoung…” You whine. “We gotta be quick.”
Though he wants nothing more than to mark up your chest all over, he relents only when he remembers that the boys are nearby. “Okay, okay━ Here━”
He grabs at your waist, shifting you around until you’re on your back splayed out beneath him. Towering over you, he pushes the material of his shorts down, pulling his aching dick from the tight confinements. Your eyes fall to the way he fists himself hurriedly, tip all red and glistening with precum, and the one prominent vein bulging along his length. You bite at your lip, legs instinctively spreading wider for him.
“Are we really gonna do this?” he asks, excited. “With the guys here?”
“Think it’s too late to ask when we’re both already naked,” You giggle. You remind him again, this time a little weaker, “Just remember to be quiet.”
He hums in response. Then, he teases you by running the length of his hard dick against your slick folds, already dripping with slick arousal.
“God, baby,” he groans, “you’re so wet already.” He taps the tip of his cock against your pussy, the sudden jolt sending your head spinning. As he rubs himself on you, the sticky wetness glides along the prominent vein of his length and spreads messily out to the top of your inner thighs. “Did I do all this to you?”
“Woo, no teasing,” You chastize in a small whine. A shiver runs down your spine at the feeling, and you hate having to resist all his teasing touches. “What if someone tries coming in?”
He flashes you a shit-eating grin. “Let them. If it’s Seonghwa, even better. I can finally get payback for when he purposely ate some girl out on my bed.”
You snort lazily, stifling your giggles. “Focus, baby.”
“I am focused,” he says smugly. He emphasizes this by pressing his dick a little harder against your folds, teasing the tip of it against your entrance. “With you spread out like this for me, all sexy━ Fuck, I’m so focused.”
But what he doesn’t tell you is that the thought alone of one of the boys walking in on the both of you is enough to excite him to no end. He can imagine it now, one of them wandering into the room while you’re writhing beneath Wooyoung, taking his dick so well, moaning nothing but his name. He yearns to feel you all at once, hurrying to please you.
Without warning, he pushes himself into you, cock stretching you wide in just the way you both like. Almost immediately, low gasps and groans sound from the both of you.
“Ah, f-fuck! Woo━” You smother your sudden cries with a hand clamping over your mouth.
“Shit, I know,” he sputters for air. His voice is heavy in your ear, a low grunt only for you to hear. “You feel so fucking good, baby━”
His head is swimming even just at the way your walls wrap around his tip so snug. He pushes himself into you the rest of the way, bottoming out with a sudden forceful and indulgent thrust when━
The headboard slams against the wall, exceptionally loud.
“Fuck, Wooyoung━ Woo━” You grip at his arms. “The bed.”
His eyes meet yours, stunned momentarily as you wait and listen. A minute passes, but the house continues to remain silent.
“It’s okay. Even if they do hear, it’s not as if they probably won’t know what we’re doing,” Wooyoung points out, matter-of-fact. “We haven’t exactly been very careful lately.”
“Still,” You insist. Your walls throb around his hard dick, desperate for some sort of movement. “It’ll give me some peace of mind.”
His heart swoons at your timidness, and though he has fun teasing you, he would never actually want to risk getting caught by one of the boys (however many close calls he’s already had with you) or, worse, upsetting you to the point of no return.
In the next moment, Wooyoung pulls out of you, then pushes back in again, this time less forceful. He swears he tries to be wary of the bed and of making too much noise but, much to both of your dismay, while the frame doesn’t bang against the wall too noticeably, the bed still creaks beneath you.
Wooyoung grits his teeth. He tries again, then one more time, and though your head lolls back at the sensation of him stretching you wide, you meet his gaze with your own apprehensive hazy one. Even Wooyoung’s patience is wearing thin when all he wants to do is tear you apart ━ that, and the slight creak of the bed is enough to start driving him insane.
“Fuck this,” his pace stutters to a halt, “let’s get on the floor. Can you get on your hands and knees for me, baby?”
“Good idea.” Your heart jolts in your chest from the excitement.
Within a matter of seconds, he’s parting from you, leaving you momentarily stunned at the loss of warmth. He helps you to your feet so that the both of you can sink to the floor on your knees. Before you can drop into all fours, Wooyoung stops you by reaching out for the blanket on the bed and tucking it underneath the both of you, but mostly to soften the ground underneath your knees. When he catches you surveying him with a fond gleam in your eyes, he quirks a brow.
“What? It’s just so you don’t get too uncomfortable,” he says sweetly, peppering a few kisses along your shoulder. “Is this good?”
“Amazing.” Your heart swells at all his gentle touches. You catch his lips on yours, faintly murmuring, “I love you. Like, so much.”
You can feel his grin against your mouth. “You know I love you too. And as much as I would also love to hear you go on about how I’m the most perfect boyfriend, I need to be in you right now.”
A pretty giggle meets his ears, and he marvels for a second how you’re so quick to oblige. Propping yourself up on your elbows, your ass juts out in his direction. You give it a little tempting wiggle, and he hurries to position himself behind you. With one hand on the small of your back, he guides you back down his length.
“Ah━ Fuuuck━” He moans. “Arch your back a little more for me, baby.”
You do as you’re told, leaning forward just enough on your elbows and sticking your hips back to meet his as he sinks balls deep into your core. Then, he’s crumbling apart, all breathy panting as he tries to focus.
“Shit, baby━”
“Mmm━”
“You’re so tight. So wet. I’m not gonna last,” he pouts, as if it’s a genuine disappointment. He watches as he pulls out of your heat just enough before shoving himself back in, his dick covered in a glistening sheen of your arousal. You’re so damn wet, he wonders how he hasn’t slipped from you yet. His hands grip and tug at your ass, spreading you to see the way your cunt pulsates and stretches around his dick. So perfect, almost as if you were made for him. “Tell me. Wanna hear how good you feel right now.”
“S-So good,” You mumble drunkenly. “God, you’re so good, Woo. Fuck━!”
His gaze droops down to your breasts, bouncing with each thrust of his hips into yours. He reaches around and grabs at one of your boobs. The gentle shake of the soft flesh in his palms is always his favourite feeling, and he can’t help but squeeze at them now because, god, he really does love your tits. If he had all the time in the world, he would do anything to fuck himself between your boobs, and cum all over your chest ━ but that will have to wait for now.
“Ah━ Fuck━ Wish I could take my time with you right now,” he moans, planting sloppy kisses along your shoulder. “I can’t wait till we’re alone. Gonna take care of you so well, baby.”
“Y-Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he grunts. He reaches down with his other hand, thumb pressing against the tight hole of your ass. The sensation alone is enough to have you nearly keeling over, a strangled cry of pleasure ripping from you. “Want you coming on my tongue so bad. Gonna fuck you against every surface too. You deserve it. You’re always so good to me, princess.”
“Only for you,” You whimper. If he wasn’t so pressed for time, the affirmation alone would have been more than enough to make him melt in your very hands. But his dick is still so hard, and your pussy is still so wet, all he can focus on is not slipping from your walls with every thrust of his hips. “Ah, Wooyoung! Y-You’re so━ So hard━”
You bite harshly at your lip when a loud moan threatens to spill from you. You bury your face in the blanket around you, clutching so tightly at the material. A part of Wooyoung finds it amusing, if only because, if the boys are awake and don’t hear your lewd moans, there’s no doubt they won’t be able to hear the sound of skin against skin as his hips slap against your ass.
“Let me hear you, baby,” he coaxes now. “Moan out loud for me.” When you shake your head, he snickers. “Want it harder? Will that help you?”
He gives an experimental roll of his hips, a little rougher than usual. It sends you teetering forward, a broken groan tumbling from you that’s left muffled by the blanket. He can hear you mumble wantonly, “Don’t be a tease.”
A cheshire-like grin spreads across his face. “Here━ Come sit on my dick. Wanna feel you so deep━”
His words make you moan softly, followed by the way he pulls out of you just quickly enough to sit back against the bed. He tugs you onto his lap and you follow suit, spreading your legs further apart as you sink onto his leaking dick. Down, down, down, until it almost feels as if he’s hitting your cervix, and suddenly you’re not so sure you’ll be able to keep it together any longer. That, mixed with the way he’s gazing at you, all hooded eyed and alluring, you’re very close to dissolving into a mess right in his very arms.
“Ah━ Ah━ Fuck, baby━” You grip at his shoulders as you adjust to the new feeling, hips squirming above his. “Wooyoung, please━”
But your words fall short. The desperate plea that hinges in your voice fades into nothing more than the urgent need to feel more of him, to have him absolutely wreck you, as you begin to rock your hips back and forth on his dick.
“Please what, baby?” he taunts lazily. But he knows what he’s doing, slyly beckoning you to make a mess, and moan for him.
His palms are warm as they slide up your sides, then around your back, hugging you close to his chest. He thrusts his hips up just once into you, sending you into a haste that has you lifting yourself up and then back down his cock. As you adopt a steady and reckless pace that has you bouncing on his length, he watches your every reaction. The way your face contorts at the sheer pleasure, brows pinched so hard in concentration, teeth sinking into your lower lip. Your hands reach out to thread through his long locks, pretty blonde tresses running through the seams of your fingers. You tug lightly at the root, earning a low groan from him.
“Fuck, Y/N━” His head rolls back against the mattress at your quick pace. “You’re so fucking sexy━ So desperate for my dick━ Ah━”
He moans suddenly, only this time it’s less muffled than before. Whether he does it the first time to tease you or simply because he had gotten carried away, you aren’t quite sure. Either way, it’s enough to startle you, even amongst the daze you’re in.
“Wooyoung━” Your voice is a small warning, but it lacks any severity when it splinters into a whine. “Not so loud.”
“They’re━ Ah, fuck━ sleeping━”
You meet his mischievous stare with your own heedful one. Your pace slows, if only just, and you’re certain this time that when he moans even louder, it’s entirely on purpose.
“Woo!” You clamp a hand softly over his mouth, smothering the tail end of his crude groan.
The grin that forms on his face beneath your hand is evident of his amusement of his toying with you but it turns sluggish quickly. The sight to see is hot enough, with the drowsy lopsided smirk poking out from underneath your hand as he watches you continue to ride him, now a measured gyrating against his own hips. When he realizes you’ve chosen to keep your hand over his mouth, he reaches up to grab a hold of your wrist, his large fingers splaying out and then up over your knuckles.
“Come on, baby. It’s okay. Let it out,” he hums. He kisses at your fingertips, tongue swiveling around to suck on your digits delicately. “Not even one tiny moan? Let me hear that pretty voice of yours.”
He can feel your thighs begin to shake around him and, judging by the crescendoing of whimpers tumbling from your mouth, he senses you’re close. Your free hand still grips at his hair, this time a little tighter as you try to anchor yourself in place to rock your hips a little faster. Wooyoung hisses delightfully at the feeling, a small lethargic chuckle rumbling from deep within his chest.
Rough hands grab at your waist now, shifting you around abruptly until you’re splayed out on the floor on your back with him hovering over you. His length stays wedged snugly in your walls, never once slipping, and as he settles against your chest, he lifts one of your legs up and over his shoulder. An animalistic growl slips from him at your pinched face, and the way your cunt starts to squeeze around him. With this angle that his hips pound into yours, his cock hits so deep into your core, pummeling against your cervix again and again.
“H-Harder━ Wooyoung━” You pant. “Please━ I’m gonna━”
Finally, a moan sounds from you. Loud and unabashed, a little broken and exhausted, but beautiful to Wooyoung’s ears nonetheless. In fact, it’s so sexy of a noise that it’s enough to nearly push him over the edge but he relents, if only just for a little longer.
“Ah, there’s my favourite sound,” he smirks. His tongue lavs at the underside of your jaw, and your hand finds itself tangled in his hair once more. “Gonna be a good girl and let the boys hear you now?”
You try with all your might to silence yourself, but the task proves more and more difficult. A few more slams of his hips into yours, and you’re crumbling apart right before his eyes.
“Fuck━ Wooyoung━”
“That’s it, baby,” he grunts into your ear. “Cum for me.”
As you come, the sudden gush of wetness around your core coats his length and he almost accidentally slips from your cunt. You’re clenched so tightly around him, Wooyoung feels as if he has to gasp for air to stay focused. His eyes still stay trained on you, watching as your face contorts as you writhe beneath him. But it’s your shameless moaning that sets him off, albeit still softer than usual but much louder than he was expecting from you with the boys so close by.
“Ah━ You’re so fucking hot━” he whines. “Gonna cum━”
Every thrust of his hips sends you bobbing up and down, and as you come down from your high the pleasurable feeling of his hard cock still burrowed in your sensitive walls has you whimpering softly. Your legs try to separate further, beckoning him for more.
“Cum in me, Youngie,” you beckon dazedly. “Wanna feel it so bad━”
“Oh, fuck━” he gasps. “Can I?”
“Y-Yes.”
“You’re so good to me, baby. Aren’t you?”
His pace quickens, hips snapping into yours urgently. One final shuddering thrust and he’s overwhelmed by his orgasm, cock pulsating within your aching walls as his cum fills you up. He has to bury his face in the crook of your neck to muffle his moans, listening to the sharp gasp for air you take when you feel his release.
He rides out his high in a few more leisure rolls of his hips, though he seems more concerned now with kissing your throat slowly. He gently unravels your leg from his shoulder, then slumps against you like the comfortable heavy weight that he is. His dick lays softening still buried within your walls, now leaking with his cum.
“Have I ever told you how amazing you are?” You hear him sigh dreamily into your neck. “‘Cause you are.”
“Almost daily,” You concur with a giggle. Your own fingers smooth out his hair, fixing the messy strands, and he croons with delight. He leaves a trail of sweet kisses up along your throat, then your jaw, and then the corner of your mouth. Safe for the laboured breathing as you both try to calm your shrill hearts, you’re made aware so suddenly of just how quiet the room suddenly is. “There’s no way the guys slept through all of that.”
“I’m sure they did.” Wooyoung nibbles gingerly at your lip. “There’s nothing to worry about. Especially right now. I’m so tired. We can deal with the potential consequences later.”
You snort. “How did I know that’s exactly what you would say?”
You catch him smirking before he plants one last kiss on your lips. Somehow, he’s able to pry himself off of you long enough to slip into his shorts laying discarded on the floor before disappearing outside of the room into the darkened hallway. He returns moments later with a damp towel to help clean up the sticky mess between your legs, then tugs you back onto the bed with him.
“They’ll see you sneaking out of my room if you sleep here,” You point out through a yawn.
“I’ll get up before them,” he insists. “Just give me an hour with you, like this.”
You can’t resist the urge.
At the very least, you fall asleep first in his arms, his fingers playing with your hair. He must slip away from you at some point during the night, unraveling himself carefully from your sleeping figure to retreat to his own room. You’ll tell the boys eventually of your relationship with Wooyoung, you swear.
But for now, there, under the covers of the bed, you have all the time in the world to enjoy yourself with Wooyoung in pure, unadulterated silence.
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In the morning when you wake up, you join your boyfriend with the rest of the boys downstairs in the kitchen for breakfast.
You’re the last to arrive, having wanted to take your time in the shower ━ a fact that Wooyoung laments, because he wanted nothing more than to shower with you to “save water” (which really just translates to more sex), but with only two bathrooms and nine people, the feat seemed impossible. Now, you sidle into the seat next to Wooyoung at the kitchen table, smiling down at him when his eyes flicker to you which seems to go unnoticed by the others.
“How was your night?” Yunho asks passively once you’ve settled into place. “Did you sleep well?”
You nod, as Wooyoung answers, “Best sleep of my life.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” This amused offhanded scoff comes from San under his breath. It causes Mingi to almost choke on his sip of orange juice as he snorts into the glass.
“What was that?” Wooyoung asks.
“Oh, nothing,” San says. The smirk on his face says otherwise. “Thought we heard some loud noises last night. It was weird.”
Then there’s Mingi, leaning across the table to catch your attention alone. He shoots you a more merciful look, though he still seems entertained nevertheless when he whispers to you, “You have something on your neck.”
Your hand instinctively clamps onto your throat, over the spot Mingi points to as you mentally curse yourself. While you had been so preoccupied the night before trying not to make any noise, you forgot to warn Wooyoung against leaving any noticeable marks on your body ━ a bad habit of his, and your fatal mistake for forgetting to check the morning after.
The others are fortunately not paying attention, already absorbed in their own conversations, but the horror of so clearly being found out by San and Mingi sends you into a frenzy. It even seems to alarm Wooyoung judging by the way he starts laughing nervously, though maybe that’s because your knee bashes against his under the table and sends him jumping in his seat.
Clearly, you have a lot of explaining to do. Eventually.
The last thing you hear San say before he and Mingi howl with laughter seems to make even the charmingly confident Wooyoung slightly frazzled, and leaves you all the more confused.
“Some romantic getaway, huh?” 
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yourmidnightlover · 3 years
Text
all my fault
Request: spencer and y/n are married, and they’ve been trying to have kids, and then she finds out she’s pregnant. a few weeks into the pregnancy, she has a miscarriage, and at the hospital the doctor said it’s bc she had an abortion as a teenager, and it fucked up her it yet us. spencer didn’t know she had an abortion, and blames her for the death of the baby, and they end up sleeping separately for a while and they have to grieve by themselves. spencer ends up talking to emily about it bc of her experience and it has a comforting ending!
Summary: when reader has a miscarriage after trying to have a baby with spencer, and things about her past are revealed and leaves things rocky within their relationship.
CW: miscarriage, pregnancy, mention of abortion, spencer’s rly harsh at first, teenage pregnancy, mentions of surgery, a cervix condition that i kinda made up, depressive thoughts, negative self-worth, HAPPY ENDING. *please let me know if i’ve missed anything*
A/N: i’ve been working on coming up with a series, which i posted last thursday! i’m sorry i haven’t been as consistent with my schedule, this summer has really taken a toll on my mental health and school is about to start back up. i promise i’m not quitting writing, but my writing might become a bit more sporadic in terms of my posting schedule. i’m still not sure if i like how i’ve executed this piece, so please let me know what you think!
IMPORTANT A/N: this contains serious topics centered around pregnancy and abortion. reader end up blaming herself and it is a very triggering subject to some. if you aren’t comfortable with those kinds of depressive thoughts PLEASE DONT READ. i don’t want anyone to be triggered by my writing. your mental health matters. you matter. do not read if your sensitive to the subject matter, please!
———————————————————————
when you and spencer checked the third pregnancy test and saw those two, very clear lines on the stick, you felt an unbelievable amount of joy.
“oh my god,” you clamped your hand over your mouth, your eyes welling with tears.
“y/n…” he held his breath, holding your free hand with both of his own.
“you’re gonna be a dad,” you huffed out a laugh as his arms flew around you.
“and you’re gonna be a mom! we’re gonna have our own little family,” he cheered as he breathed in your scent, elated from the news he had hoped for since you said ‘i do.’
spencer had wanted to be a father since he met henry, you remember how attached he was to the child who wasn’t even his own. you hadn’t always wanted children, only when you were absolutely ready for them. now, you were more than ready.
your arms flew around spencer’s neck as his went around your waist. he dropped to his knees and began pressing kisses against a bump that wasn’t even visible yet, praising you and your body for carrying his child.
because it was so hard for you to get pregnant, spencer decided to baby you every chance he got. you didn’t do the dishes or sweep, you weren’t allowed to reach for high shelves or even step on a chair to do so. he was worried about you and the baby, so you let him. you found it endearing.
the perfect man that you married was so worried about the little bean inside of you, worried for your safety, that it drove him a bit mad. who were you to complain? each time he’d do one of the new little quirks like not letting you lift anything above 10 pounds, you just smiled to yourself and brushed it off.
being pregnant was something that you had lost hope for, in all honesty. spencer had been talking to a few friends who had adopted children prior to finding out you were pregnant. if this hadn’t worked out, the two of you were going to look into adoption.
spencer had planned your doctors appointment for 6 weeks after your last period. the appointment was in three days. and then the perfect outline you had for your future went down in crumbles.
you had been having pains in your lower abdomen, and you figured it was just because you were pregnant. you went to the bathroom like you normally would when you felt queasy, kneeling by the toilet in preparation for what was to come. only nothing came.
you decided to just go pee and get back to bed. there was a pain that wasn’t like you’d felt before when you were peeing, like someone had been pulling your intestines out of your body. when you looked down, you felt your stomach drop.
“spencer!” you cried out. “spencer, hurry!” you felt tears well in your eyes until he ran up beside you. his hand was on your thigh as the other one was trying to steady your shaking hand.
“what is… oh,” he looked in the toilet to see blood inside of it.
“spencer… what happened? i don’t know what happened. everything was doing so well and the baby-we just found out and now they’re-wh-what’s gonna happen?” you rambled out, unsure of how something this horrific happened so quickly.
“i-i don’t know, my love,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “i don’t know. but we’ll go to the hospital right now, okay? we’ll get answers.”
you just nodded. you couldn’t speak anymore. you felt your throat closing in on yourself. you cleaned yourself up and got dressed. even looking in the mirror with spencer’s arms around you, you didn’t feel anything but guilt and worry.
spencer’s touch would usually be something to ease your mind and take away the thoughts of everything else around you. only this was something wrong inside of you. you were the problem this time. and you didn’t think anything could fix this feeling.
“let’s get to the hospital, yea?” you nodded as he held onto your hand, trying to ground you to himself as he guided you to the car.
you were silent the entire drive to the doctor. there was nothing to say. there was nothing to do. there was just… nothing. you were numb.
“hey,” he spoke up, “we don’t know what happened yet. there’s a chance it’s just a fluke, right? the baby might be okay.”
“what’re the statistics, spencer? tell them to me,” you ordered as tears flowed from your eyes.
“y/n…”
“tell me! why don’t you want me to know?!” you accused him, looking over at the man driving as he but his lower lip. “1 in 4 women who experience bleeding during a pregnancy are fine. 25 percent. the other 75 percent of people have either a miscarriage or serious complications. those are the statistics.”
“y/n…” he sighed, “it’s not your fault. you didn’t want this to happen. besides, there’s still a 25 percent chance that nothings wrong.”
“whatever,” you rolled your eyes and opted to look out of the window for the remainder of the drive to the hospital.
-
“alright,” the doctor entered the room. “we have the results from the test and we’ve examined the ultrasound pictures. i’m so sorry, but you’ve had a miscarriage.”
what were you supposed to feel? an overwhelming sense of sorrow? like a failure? like the one thing you wanted most in the world fell through?
“how-how did this happen?” you spoke through the tears. “we were so-we were careful. i didn’t lift heavy objects, i didn’t do repetitive motions, i just… we tried so hard to make this work,” you shook your head in disapproval, as if you wouldn’t accept the answer that had already been proven to you.
“there’s proof of an abortion when you were a teenager. there was severe damage done to your cervix that wasn’t assessed pre-pregnancy. now, we can repair the damage within the next two months, but it will still be difficult to become pregnant after the surgery,” the female informed you.
“then what’s the point of getting the surgery?” you scoffed, looking at spencer who was just staring off in space.
“while getting pregnant will still be difficult, maintaining the pregnancy is much more likely. the fetus would be more protected and secure after the surgery,” she explained with a pitiful smile, you couldn’t help but wonder how she could smile after giving you the worst news of your life.
“right,” you nodded curtly, allowing her to sense the mood of the conversation.
“i’ll leave you two be. i’m so sorry for your loss,” she gave the both of you a pitiful smile before exiting the room, the only sound audible being the closing of the door.
it didn’t feel real. it felt as though you were in a nightmare. only this time, you wouldn’t wake in spencer’s comforting arms. you wouldn’t hear the soft soothing voice of the man you love trying to calm you down. you wouldn’t feel the solace he would provide by merely being himself in your proximity.
the drive home was eerily quiet. there was an inkling of animosity between you. looking over at spencer in the driver’s seat, he had a dead look on his face, the only sign of previous emotion being his red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. he didn’t even look like your spencer. he looked like a stranger in the drivers seat with a cold expression that you could barely read.
you knew this was something you should talk about. when the nurse came back in the room it was only to offer a few referrals go therapists that specialized in this kind of grief. clearly, any couple should talk about losing an unborn baby. but you knew that’s not what spencer was truly upset about.
you waited until you shut the door to your apartment before saying anything.
“maybe we should talk about it?” you whispered, not knowing how he’d react.
“about what? the fact that you’ve lied to me for our entire relationship?!” he wouldn’t even turn around to face you. “i thought we were in this together, y/n. we aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other - especially not any that just killed our child!”
“hey…” you winced at his words. “why would you say that?”
“that’s the truth! your choices when you were a teenager just killed our child! my child!” he finally turned to face you, and you wished he hadn’t.
“do you think i knew they would botch my abortion, spencer?! do you think that’s what i wanted?!” you stepped closer to him, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
“i don’t know what you want anymore, y/n,” he shook his head, clearly exasperated.
“i want you. i want to get the surgery to fix my cervix. i want to grieve our child. i still want kids… with you, spencer,” you tried to ease the mood, calm him down. you reached your hand out to cup his cheek before he dodged your touch, afraid of touching you. “but you don’t want that?” you whispered so quiet, too afraid of the answer to raise your voice.
“i-“ he sighed and bit his lower lip. “i don’t know.”
“right. of course you don’t,” you shook your head before sitting on the couch, dropping your face in your hands.
“what’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed as he took off his coat.
“it means that: of course, you’re making this about you! it can’t be about us grieving our loss together like the doctor recommended?!” you peeked between your hands at the man you still didn’t recognize.
“maybe we shouldn’t grieve together since we can’t even have a conversation without getting angry at one another,” he tried to reason.
“the only reason i’m getting mad is because you’re blaming me for my baby’s death,” you spat back at the doctor before you.
“because it’s your fault!” he stood strong in his belief. “when you were a teenager, did you or did you not have an abortion?”
“i did,” you admitted.
“and the nurse said that in said abortion, they screwed your cervix up! if you didn’t have that abortion, our child would still be alive! we would be on our way to become happy parents!” he accused, rubbing salt in the already stinging wound. “it’s your fucking fault!”
“stop saying that,” you shook your head and dropped it back in your hands, trying to hide the tears that began to flow down your face.
“it is, y/n! i can’t believe you’re even trying to say this isn’t!” he chuckled, clearly getting under your skin.
“shut up, spencer!”
“i can’t, y/n!” he sat in the chair across from you before standing back up, too hyper to sit. “no wonder it was so hard for you to get pregnant.”
“spencer,” you begged him to stop, meeting his face with your teary eyes.
“y/n,” he stared you in the eyes, and you saw a glimpse of the man you loved for a second before he retreated to the bedroom.
you sat on the couch in confusion of what had just occurred.
when you were 15, you’re boyfriend was adamant about taking your relationship “to the next step.” you didn’t think you were ready to have sex, but you wanted him to stay with you. so, you gave in. it just so happened to be that you were one of the lucky girls that ends up getting pregnant her first time in spite of birth control and a condom. you couldn’t tell your mom about your pregnancy, she’d have your head on a pole.
so, you earned enough money from your job to get an abortion yourself. you went to a clinic and had your boyfriend’s mom come with you to sign as your guardian. was it smart to get an abortion that cheap? probably not. but you had no other choice. your mom had made it abundantly clear that if she caught you fooling around with him that she’d kick you out.
you were 15. you were young and still had to finish high school. there was no support system for you. you would’ve been on the streets with a little baby - not to mention the amount of debt you’d go into for just giving birth to a child in a hospital. it was the only choice.
and now you were being berated for making the only choice you even had - and by the person you loved most in the world.
you curled into yourself on the couch, laying your head on the arm and crying into the fabric. you released all of the tension and turmoil. you held onto the cushions as if it were the man that you wanted - no, needed to comfort you. because as much as you’d hate to admit it and try to fight those thoughts, part of you thought that spencer was right. it was your fault.
you fell asleep on the couch that night. you didn’t have the strength to get up to grab a blanket so you just sucked it up.
spencer didn’t sleep at all. he was used to having you curled into his chest, or himself on yours. he felt terrible about how he had talked to you, but he was too stubborn to admit anything just yet.
in the middle of the night he went out of the room to grab a glass of water. he saw you curled up in a ball, you head resting on the arm of the couch as you slept. it was the most peaceful you looked in the past 24 hours. but you began shivering as you slept. you were probably too exhausted to get up to do anything.
he went to the hall closet on a detour and grabbed your favorite, soft blanket and laid it on top of your body. after placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he went into the kitchen and made his glass of water before taking one more glance at you. you had snuggled into the blanket, pulling it up to your chin with a gentle smile that always appeared when he kissed your forehead as you slept.
maybe he didn’t screw up too badly, after all.
the next few days were spent avoiding one another. spencer couldn’t face you after knowing you had kept something so dire from him for the entirety of your relationship. you couldn’t face him after he made you feel as though it was your fault you lost your baby.
you would stay on the couch all day, barely eating or drinking anything while spencer would go out - only mentioning the library or the office to do more paperwork. eventually he just started sleeping at morgan’s house - probably because he couldn’t stand being around you.
you didn’t know how to grieve your baby, you were hoping that spencer might help, but that clearly won’t be happening. on top of that, you were worrying about your marriage. he couldn’t even look at you, how was he supposed to talk to you and sleep beside you?
a lot of times, it’s perceived that the only reason women were put on this planet were to have children - of course that’s a false notion, but it didn’t make it sting any less. your body had betrayed you. you had betrayed yourself.
it was only 12 days after spencer left when he came back home, if he could call it that anymore. once he walked into the living room, he saw you curled up in that same position on the couch. you had a blank stare that was directed towards the black tv. the only evidence that you were doing something was the empty water bottles surrounding you - certainly not enough considering he’d been gone for over a week.
when he entered you didn’t even flinch. your gaze stayed on the empty screen and your face remained vacant of any emotion.
in all honesty, morgan was the one to tell spencer he should check on you. spencer hadn’t told him everything about your argument, he knew he was in the wrong. but he was just so angry. regardless, he was here now, and it’s a good thing he was.
you hadn’t been taking care of yourself. spencer had morgan and savannah checking on him, but you had nobody. he only realized this when morgan pointed it out. and as upset as he was, spencer would always love you. your expressionless face only worried him more. your clothes had been changed from when he last saw you, but he doubts you’ve had a shower.
he stayed silent as he began picking up the empty water bottles from around the table and couch. you looked at him quizzically with furrowed brows.
“what’re you doing?” you asked, your chin already quivering as tears threatened to stream down your face.
“i’m trying to help,” he whispered as sensitively as he could, making eye contact with the most pitiful face you’d ever seen.
“i think you’ve helped enough,” you rolled your eyes before resuming your serious stare-down with the television. “you can leave.”
“no, i can’t,” he replied, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch while being sure not to touch you - he didn’t know if you were ready for that.
“you already did,” you brought to his attention, briefly looking at him. “just go.”
“y/n, i-“
“i don’t want to hear it! what’re you gonna say that could make me feel worse, spencer?!” you let the tears fall past your waterline. “i know it’s my fault. i know i screwed up! and i’m sorry! i’m so sorry!” you replied with far too much sincerity, the tears streaming down your face before he scooted closer to you, planning on wrapping his arms around you. “stop! don’t come near me!” you pushed his shoulders away. “it’s my fault,” you lowered your voice significantly before wrapping your arms around yourself.
he had called emily as soon as he got back into the bedroom. he knew she had previously had an abortion when she was a teenager, and he just needed to hear her side of it. part of him didn’t even expect her to pick up the phone.
“reid, what’s wrong?” she immediately answered.
“i-i think i need to talk to you,” he whispered in a hushed tone.
“right now?” she asked in a mildly concerned tone.
“if you can? the sooner the better,” he answered honestly.
“alright. you want to meet somewhere or just come over?”
“can i just come over? it’s really personal and i wasn’t sure who else to go to,” he began tying his shoes and hoping she’d agree.
“of course, come on over,” she replied in a worried voice.
“ok. i’ll be there in twenty.”
he quietly left the apartment, not before sparing you a regretful glance. he lost his child, but you also lost your child as well. he just couldn’t control his anger. and partially, he thought he was right.
how could you not have told him about something so serious? the second you had began having issues getting pregnant, maybe you should’ve been open about previous pregnancies.
“hey,” emily greeted before giving him a hug after seeing his teary eyes. “come inside.”
“thanks,” he sniffled before stepping into her apartment.
she guided him into her living room and sat down on the couch beside him. they sat there for a few silent minutes before he was able to work up enough courage.
“y/n was pregnant,” he whispered, barely audible if she weren’t right beside him.
“was,” she pointed out, already feeling as though she knew the rest of the story.
“she uhm-she miscarried two weeks ago,” he somberly admitted for the first time to someone else. “the doctor said it was because she had an abortion when she was a teenager that somehow ruined her cervix.”
“and that’s why you felt like you needed to talk to me?” she gathered, she was a great profiler for a reason but this was far more obvious.
“i was pretty harsh. i-i told her it was her fault,” he bit his lower lip as he grimaced. “i really rubbed it in, too.”
“spencer… “ she sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing. “you’re mourning a life, right now. obviously, that would raise tensions and emotions would be heightened. but… have you apologized? for telling her it was her fault?”
“no?” he replied after thinking about it. “i was going to do that today but she’s… she’s not in good shape. i’m not saying she needs to be perfect, but while i was at derek’s i can tell she didn’t take care of herself. she barely drank any water.”
“did you ask her why she had an abortion? why she didn’t tell you? did you ask her anything about how she’s feeling?” emily asked once more.
“no,” he cowered down, feeling even worse about the truthful answer. “i was just… selfish. i didn’t think about how she’s feeling. i just-i feel so bad now, seeing what state she’s in.”
“when i got an abortion it was because i wasn’t ready for a child,” she began to inform him. “i was a child, myself. how was a child supposed to take care of another one? my mother would’ve been disgraced. i basically had nobody there for me. i kept it a secret because having an abortion is so controversial. i knew people would look at me differently for making a responsible decision for my future.”
“god, i feel so bad,” he began to tear up himself. “i love her so much and i told her these horrible things.”
“make it right, spencer,” she gave him a supportive smile and pat his thigh before he stood up.
“i-i have to go,” he wiped the tears from his face before giving emily a hug, grateful she would listen to him at such an ungodly hour.
he quickly drove back home, where he decidedly belonged in the first place. he never should’ve left home. he never should’ve left you. you were his home, and he didn’t know how he could possibly lose sight of that.
“y/n,” he cooed as he entered the apartment once more. it was noticeably a bit more clean. the trash was taken out, the dishes were done, and your hair was wet from a shower - he assumed. “hey,” he smiled when he saw you sitting on the bed, cheeks still red and tear-stained with red, puffy eyes.
“hi,” you sighed as you brushed your hair, spencer sat down beside you.
“how’re you feeling?” you shrugged. “i need to apologize to you,” he admitted, placing a hand on your thigh. “i’m so, so sorry for what i said. telling you that it’s your fault that we lost our child… i-there’s no excuse. i was clearly upset, but so were you. what i said was so out of line, and i’ll never be able to express how sorry i am to you.”
“you’re right,” you shrugged. “it was my fault.”
“no,” he rubbed his thumb on your skin. “it was not your fault. i’m so sorry i made you believe that.”
“when i was 15 my boyfriend at the time pressured me to have sex. we used a condom and i was in birth control but i still-i still ended up pregnant,” you began, taking a deep breath before continuing. “i couldn’t tell my mom because she would’ve kicked me out, so i saved up some money and had his mom take me to a cheap clinic. she signed as my mom and i got the procedure done. that was the end of it,” you finished tears streaming down your face. “a few weeks after the procedure i started having pains in like my lower back, but i didn’t think anything of it. so… it is my fault. i shouldn’t have gone to a cheap clinic, but i couldn’t live on the streets with a baby and no way to clothe or feed them.”
“y/n,” he got your attention, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “you were a teenager who had no other choice, love. it’s not your fault, it’s the clinic’s.”
“i just… it hurts so bad, spencer,” you shook your head in defeat before he wrapped his arms around you. “not even just emotionally, my body physically hurts so bad. i don’t know what to do and i thought i lost you and i didn’t know what i would do without you because i didn’t think you loved me anymore because it’s my fault,” you ranted out, sobbing into his shoulder before he moved the two of you around the bed to lay down, you on his chest.
“i’m so sorry you had to go through that, and that you’re still dealing with the repercussions,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “but know that i’m not leaving you. i love you and nothing will ever change that.”
“there’s nothing we can do now,” you whined, clutching to his shirt as if he’d disappear once more.
“we can go to the recommended therapy. we can get that surgery to fix your cervix,” he reminded you, rubbing circles onto your back as you sniffled. “then, if you’d like, we could try again for a baby.”
“so you still want to be with me?” you whispered by his ear, clearly worried of the answer.
“of course i do,” he said as if there were no other option; there wasn’t. “i’m so, so sorry, love.”
“the reason i didn’t tell you is because,” you sighed as you shuffled on top of spencer, now sitting on his lap and facing him. “because there’s this stigma that comes with having an abortion - and i didn’t know how you’d react. i also didn’t know it didn’t go well in the first place, but that’s a different story,” you chuckled. “i’m sorry. i should’ve told you about something so serious.”
“you don’t have to apologize,” he brushed a strand of hair from your face. “that was from your past. this is our future, we shouldn’t get caught up on it and allow it to ruin this.”
you nodded, “you’re right. are-are you staying here, now? or are you going back to derek’s?” there was an obvious look of hope in your eye that spencer never planned on squashing.
“i’m staying here,” he smiled. “home. you’re my home.”
“you’re so cheesy,” you rolled your eyes as a laugh left your lips.
“i’ve missed your smile,” he pressed a kiss to those very lips, your smile not going away but growing even bigger.
“i’ve missed you,” you pointed at his chest. “please don’t leave again.”
“i won’t. ever again,” you held your pinky out, he smiled and wrapped his own around it. “i’m so sorry.”
“we’ll work at it,” you sighed. “we’ll build back the trust and fix my stupid cervix and then maybe try again for a baby.”
over the next few months spencer and you had been going to therapy once a week, mourning the loss of your baby and working through your other issues.
five months after you found out about the miscarriage, you had the surgery to fix your cervix.
one year after you fixed your cervix you and spencer began talking about having a child. you were extremely nervous, rightfully so. you voiced your concerns to spencer about what if the surgery didn’t work? what if your cervix wasn’t the only issue? and he replied by reminding you that you would both take this one step at a time.
seven months after having the conversation with spencer about having children, a miracle had caught up to you.
you were pregnant.
taglist:
@averyhotchner
@greenprisca
@muffin-cup
@spenxerslut
@spencerreid9
@spencyreidpls
@spencerreid9
@spencersmagic
@calm-and-doctor
@the-local-pendeja
@spencersrose
@spencersmagic
@shemarmooresfedora
@pastelbabygirl19
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donald4spiderman · 3 years
Note
Ok hear me out. Spencer is dating Reader and she’s always hated that she’s been more chubby/curvy. And one night in the middle of a case she calls him crying and Spencer just gets really soft and calms her down after a bad nightmare. And his heart breaks cause his loving girlfriend hates her body. So Spencer plans this elaborate date and proposes maybe? You can decide if the team have met her or not. I’d like it to be the original team but if you wanna combine the original and new teams together that’s cool too!
no bc my body image issues have been rampant lately so this is personal as hell to me. I work out a lot and i’m fit but i’ve never been SKINNY like i have thick legs and muscular arms andnnfnfjndjnffn so this is personal.
I modified this a bit but it’s still the same premises hope you like it! ***BTW IN THIS UNIVERSE THE S3-7 CAST EXISTS FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW— SO THE LATER SEASONS HAVE MORGAN AND HOTCH.
also sorry this is a long
TW: body image issues, discussions of food & weight, insecurity, crying, kissing
WC: 1.5k
-
You know, pragmatically, that you have nothing to worry about. Spencer chose you. And for the past four years, Spencer has worshipped you every day— again and again. He is the most loving, considerate, and tender partner you could ever wish for. He is near perfection.
You’ve met Spencer's friends many times. You’re not close with either of your parents, so the team of profilers welcomed you into their arms with grace and care. Each and every one of them is beautifully amazing and exceptionally brilliant.
Spencer‘s friends are not only badass, but they’re also gorgeous. JJ, Emily, and Garcia are national treasures— so visually stunning it’s almost sickening.
You knew he used to have a crush on JJ way before he met you. You’ve also heard the tale of Lila Archer, the celebrity actress who made out with your boyfriend in a pool. Spencer’s had an eventful life, full of beautiful, sweet, magnificent women— so why does he choose you?
You view yourself as bland in comparison. What do you have to offer Spencer that he can’t find elsewhere? You don’t have toned abs, slim hips, and slender arms. You’re not striking in any way.
Spencer calls you every night when he’s away on a case. He’s never missed a call, even when he got shot in the neck and kidnapped by a murderous cult. He’s reliable and consistent, and that eases your worries a little bit.
It’s eleven pm in D.C. and your phone rings right as your getting in bed.
“Hi, my love,” Spencer says breathily, his voice slightly muffled by the phone. He’s away in Ohio for a case.
“Hey.” You reply, the sweetness in his voice soured by your mood. “How’s the case going?”
“Good. JJ and I are about to pass out in our beds— we’re so tired.”
You can’t help the way your face drops. “Oh. Well, get rest.”
Your about to hang up before he interjects. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Why?” You know better than to lie to your boyfriend, who happens to be an expert on human behavior.
“Okay, I know a lie when I hear one. (Y/N), baby, what’s wrong?” He pleads.
You can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek. “God, I’m sorry. I just miss you so much. You always know what to do when I’m feeling like shit.”
Spencer knows how much you struggle with self and bodily acceptance. He hates the world for making you feel anything less than incredible, both inside and out.
“I miss you too, so much, (Y/N).” His voice is thick as if he’s going to start crying too. “I love you so much, so fucking much. You have no idea how beautiful and amazing you are.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He laughs through a sob that wrecks his body. “You deserve everything in this world. I promise to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You are the love of my life.”
You wipe the tears from underneath your eyes. “Sorry for keeping you up. You must be tired.”
“Never, if it means I get to talk to you.”
“I love you, Spencer.”
“I love you too, (Y/N). More than you’ll ever know.”
-
Spencer wakes up the next day with a newfound determination. The team solves the case as fast as possible, and by the end of the night, they’ve boarded the jet back home.
Spencer has more than enough hours to think about you and how much you mean to him. Hotch is seated directly across from him, rereading the case files.
“Hotch?” The wiser man looks up from his files, raising an eyebrow.
Spencer pauses for a moment. Maybe he’d be better asking Morgan or JJ for advice, considering Hotch’s tragic circumstances regarding Haley.
But no one loves like Hotch does-- sincerely, passionately-- stronger than anything else in the world. Spencer decides there’s no one better to ask.
“How uh did you know that Haley was the one?”
Hotch’s eyes soften for a bit. He clears his throat. “I knew since the day I met her that I would love her for the rest of my life unconditionally. She makes me complete. Do you feel that (Y/N) makes you complete?”
He already knows why Spencer is asking for his advice, steering the conversation in that direction.
“Yes. She’s my world.” Spencer whispers.
“Then it’s simple, really. Love doesn’t need to be complicated and precise. It’s what you do with it that matters.”
“I want to marry her, Hotch. I want to be with her for the rest of my life.”
Hotch smiles, “Then do it.”
Spencer feels the rush of excitement as he gathers everyone on the jet, including the prior sleeping passengers, filling them in on his big plans.
“I need all of your guys’ help.”
-
There’s a firm knock on your door at four in the morning. You know it isn’t Spencer because he has a key, but who could it be?
You take a cautious look out of your peephole to find Penelope, Emily, and JJ outside.
“What are you guys doing here?” You yawn. “For god's sake, it’s four am.”
“We know, and we’re sorry.” Penelope smiles.
“Is Spencer alright?” You ask, wondering if things suddenly went wrong during the case.
But by the joyous look on their face, you know nothing somber occurred.
“Spencer’s completely fine. But, we need to you to get changed and come with us. FBI’s orders.” JJ chuckles.
You change into warmer clothes in minutes, and the BAU ladies usher you into Emily’s car as fast as possible.
“So, no ones gonna tell me what’s going on?”
They shake their heads, “We’re just... running a quick errand.”
After a few more minutes of driving, Emily parks on the side of a dimly lit street.
“I need you to put this on.” She says, holding up a blindfold.
“Are you guys gonna murder me?” You joke, slipping the fabric over your eyes with little resistance.
“Quite the opposite, actually.” You don’t have time to think about what Penelope means before you’re being yanked out of the car.
You walk, guided by JJ, for four minutes. The grass beneath you crushes below your boots, and the hushed whispers of Emily and Penelope behind you do nothing to calm your nerves.
“Okay,” JJ says, halting to a stop. “You can take off your blindfold now.”
You hesitantly slip the blindfold off, revealing a brightly lit table in the middle of a secluded field. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi are standing off to the sides.
Suddenly, Spencer emerges from behind a tree, dusting the leaves and dirt off his adorable sweater.
“Hi?” You laugh, utterly confused by this situation. “What’s going on?”
His hands are shaking, and he has to swallow a few times before he can speak. “I-I uh got y-you apple pie— uh your favorite.”
Spencer walks you towards the table, where a small slice of warm pie sits lonely on the table.
“Y-you should um... eat it.” He urges, pointing at the knife and fork next to it.
You glance around, trying to gauge the emotions of everyone around you, but fail. Stupid profilers and their poker faces.
Your fork cuts into the heavenly smelling pie, and you scoop up a bite into your mouth.
“It’s... good? I’ll pretty much eat any pie you give me, Spencer.”
He smiles, “I know that. But t-this is a special pie.”
“Okay...”
“You should t-take a closer look— at the pie.”
You inspect the dessert, completely puzzled until a glinting piece of silver catches your eye. Spencer notices the shock in your face and catches the plate that almost falls out of your hand.
Morgan hands him a napkin, and when Spencer pulls an apple-covered ring from the slice of pie, you almost faint.
“No way.” You gasp; tears spring to your eyes as Spencer wipes the ring clean.
He holds it tightly between two fingers, bending to kneel on one knee.
“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I knew from the moment I met you that you were the most special woman I’d have the pleasure of meeting. A month later, you asked me out for our first date, and I couldn’t believe that someone as gorgeous and amazing as you would settle for someone like me.” You scoff at his humility.
“I spend every moment loving every part of you, (Y/N). None of my love will ever stop— ever. I promise to share my heart with you until the very end. There is absolutely no one I would rather be bonded to for the rest of my life. You are better than my dream girl because you’re real. You’re here, and you chose to love me every day— the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Y/N), will you do me the honor and great privilege of allowing me to become your husband?” You silently sob.
“Please say yes.” Spencer smiles.
“Yes!” You exclaim, pulling him up to hug him. “How could I say anything but!”
The dam breaks, and the entire team begins to cry as you and Spencer share a passionate kiss, almost collapsing down onto the grass from the sheer force of your love. He slips the ring onto your finger; it belongs there.
“I choose you, (Y/N).” He repeats.
“I choose you, Spencer, always.” You whisper into the crook of his neck.
Nothing’s ever felt so right.
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kat-got-lost · 3 years
Note
Hello! How are you? I hope you're okay ^^ Well I wanna request (If it's fine) Dream team in love with Y/N and fight for them (For wining their heart) some fluffy stuff u know UwU (If it's not fine with you please ignore this UnU have a good day ^^
hello loves it's 2am, im on mobile and decided to knock out some requests so sorry for weird formats :)
(A/N: changed up the request a bit, bc it was similar to something I've been thinking about the last couple days,,)
poly!dreamteam x cat hybrid!reader
warning// none
genre// fluff
format//headcanons, drabble
poly!dt x gn!reader (pronouns aren't exactly mentioned, male reader is implied but there's fem and gn options as well :)
(in game AU)
(A/N #2: forgot to mention y/n is like a cat shapeshift? they can turn into a cat but they've also got the human form which consists of the cat ears nd stuff)
before they find you they're not exactly dating, they're kind of on that edge where it's like "lol, yes, just homies, haha u n l e s s"
so, one day sapnap's out gathering more stuff from the mines because they're running out of stuff, after maybe a day or two, he's just doing his own thing and then he hears meowing and he's like "what the fuck"
very confused because you rarely see cats in caves and mines, at least not as deep as he was
sapnap's first though was "someone probably has an underground house and their cat got out" but after a bit of examining he realizes you don't have a collar or anything
you had gotten lost and seeked shelter in a cave until you could safely get back to your makeshift shack
you'd decided to stay in your cat form since it was more practical, and it took less energy from you
saps heart kind of just,,melts,,because you'd been lost and it'd been around a week since you felt comfort so you're purring and snuggling into sapnap's touch
sap sets up a small shelter for you and gives you some food and water, he was planning on heading back that day so he decided that the shelter would be safe enough to leave you in so he could finish his job
he takes you home to dream and george and is like "hey lol, we have a cat now" the second he sees you dream basically snatches you out of sapnap's arms and it's cooing at you and scratching your ears *he literally melts at your purs
george on the other hand, not as a estatic, he's not upset to have you here, no, no, not at all he's more "what the fuck we don't have the resources to properly take care of a cat"
dream runs a bath for you because of how dusty you are due to the cave dust
after sapnap gives you a bowl of warm milk and some fish they had, he lets you roam around the house and you settle on george's room where you join him on the bed
george knows you're on the bed and expects to wake up to a fuzzy cat cuddled up to him, but what the didn't expect was a whole ass human snuggled into his chest
screams. fucking s c r e a m s
sapnap and dream think he's just been murdered and run into his room
very confused when they see you, get a little protective of george and start yelling, it scares you and you transform back into your cat form and they're like ",,,o h h"
you transform back and you're like "hh sorry, do you want me to leave? or?"
all three of the boys just collectively go "N O" they all think you're a very cute kitty, kitty that is also a very pretty boy/person/girl? pog?
you explain how you got in the caves and the whole situation
skip forward a bit forward and they're used to your routine, having you around and just you in general
these boys, THESE B O Y S- they will absolutely smother you in affection
it's almost like a competition for them, they like to compete to see who can hold your attention longer or who can just get your attention in general
dream likes to bake with you and you guys curl up on the couch after and eat whatever you guys baked, sapnap likes taking you on adventures, takes you on picnics and through pretty fields, forests, etc george likes napping with you, loves cuddling with you because you're so soft and squishy, enjoys when you play with his hair and likes to play with yours (if you can't play with your hair he likes to just give you headpats and lots of cat ear scratches)
eventually you get annoyed of them arguing over who gets to do what with you and you're like "why don't we date- you three are literally in love with each other and me and i love all three of you 😠😠"
you can see the gears turning in each of their heads *dream just goes "huh, why didn't we think of that before- works for me (´∩。• ᵕ •。∩`) " *
now you're all one big adorable relationship
cuddles, so. many. cuddles
lots of headpats, picnic dates and movie dates
constant teasing, which normally sounded like "awwhh such a cute kitty" from sapnap and "such a good boy/kitty (? person didn't sound right there, replace it with whatever gn term you want :)/girl" from dream and george
overall such a cute and cuddly relationship, 10/10, would want to be dteam's cat boy
(A/N it's now,,,3 am,,i'll be writing some other requests tomorrow morning :)
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yinses · 3 years
Text
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college au! headcanons
gojo satoru, geto suguru & nanami kento
rqst: college au for nanami, geto and gojo?
a/n: so i divided it into three categories to help keep my head straight. honestly almost straight kicked gojo out of college bc i couldn’t decide on a major for him. the jjk discord server is heaven sent for my sanity. ty everyone again 🌺
last time i should have to post these. hoping everything is fine now. 
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gojo satoru
MAJOR
—he starts off undecided for a long time. the fact that he’s on scholarship allows him to be more flexible with his classes given that he’s not responsible for costs. he grew up with expectations from his family but university is suppose to be his opportunity to spread his own wings and grow from his experiences.
—so he tries a bit of everything- sciences, music and social studies- anything to prompt a spark. (took a business class once and made a point to sit next to nanami everyday just to annoy him) by his second year he’s getting as frustrated as his counselor because if he doesn’t decide soon he’ll be a potential 5th year senior.
—he’s overthinking it but gojo wants to invest in what he believes will make the most significant impact to his ability. his counselor takes those crumbs and runs with it.
—he gets steered towards political science and actually excels at it (that advisor gets a raise). surprises most of the class with his analytical skills because they thought he was just a pretty boy- surprise he’s beautiful and smart.
—develops a vested interest in governmental policies. might run for president one day idk. brings donuts to his early am class. doesn’t share.
SOCIAL
—he’s not the jock per say, but as the star athlete of the basketball team, the school likes to take advantage of his image to draw in sponsors.
—his face is plastered all over the auditorium whether they’re in season or not. sometimes it’s not even to promote basketball, gojo is pretty and they’re not afraid to use it. which also makes him one of the most recognizable faces on campus.
—due to his student athlete contract, he’s not allowed to sign autographs freely in the event they’re attempted to be sold as quick cash. but yikes, he can barely walk to class without someone stopping him for a picture. to the best of his ability he tries to laugh it off, poster boy image and all, but it gets pretty fucking old and annoying quickly. especially when it makes him late for his next lesson and the instructor shows no sympathy.
—his height didn’t only help him get into basketball, but its also convenient when it comes to shouldering politely through the student masses. his golden rule is don’t make eye contact. the busier the crowds the easier it is for him to pretend like he could’t possibly have heard them.
—gojo doesnt scout fraternities, fraternities scout him. but he’s not interested in the slightest. as an athlete he already gets into any social circle he wants without the additional effort. that and he doesnt think he could tolerate an alpha male trying to exert his dominance without barking back.
—loves to show up to parties but always arrives late enough to the point where they don’t think he’s coming. it helps him slip in when he wants too. he’s a connoisseur of all alcohol varieties and a master of beer bong. he’s not necessarily the life of the party but his presence is kind of hard to miss.
RELATIONSHIPS
—he gets too much attention to date casually. most potential suitors are in it more for the benefits they receive than him anyway. he’s got enough on his plate with career indecisiveness and games to try to pursue anything serious before third year.
—he’s not completely celibate though. he tries to keep the same partners as long as he can. not only to keep himself clean and safe but because he often goes into an agreement to keep it casual. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. either way he gets coined as a ‘heartbreaker’ before the end of his freshman year. frankly the rumors obscure most of the truth and give him more freedom. people always expect that he’s with someone even when he’s not, which helps keep his invasive teammates off his back.
—gojo can easily graduate without securing something tangible but there is still a window for potential.
—you’re both his consistent classmate and occasional friends with benefits. its the former title that keeps bringing him back around. he cant exactly avoid you without subjecting himself to 8am classes. it helps that the sex is good too.
—he can text you an offer to study together for the next test and roll over after an hour and wreck you for the rest of the week. its hard to tell who gets addicted first but he does appreciate the way your skin looks when youre wearing his marks.
geto suguru
MAJOR
—he’s a STEM kid, particularly interested in bio-genetics to improve overall health. he believes that simply becoming a physician just keeps the issue at bay and his goal is to eradicate the problem at its source.
—since high school he’s been cataloging different programs across the country before deciding what he wanted and putting all his efforts into it. so it’s no surprise when he gets in.
—geto doesn’t need counselors but they’re required so he listens to them prattle on about using university as an opportunity to explore. this man came in with more college credits than most sophomores, he knows what he wants.
—always on-time to class and never misses an assignment. also that kid who goes above and beyond, even on the simple stuff. he rarely gets teased about it, not even behind his back. geto straight up scares some people even when he’s smiling.
—not afraid to correct teachers when they’re wrong. in fact he lives for it.
—he’s the one who graduated early and starts his master’s program before most of his age group declare their own majors.
SOCIAL
—he tends to frequent the same circles- handpicking his acquaintances out of class rosters, clubs and honor lists. he’s less in it for the friendship and more so to scout for potential research partners.
—met gojo in one of his science electives and literally carried him through the class. they somehow end up friends but only really hang out at each other’s places- bunch of chill movie nights and pizza.
—there is no interest in fraternities, but he does join university funded clubs that allow him to further his research. they give him unique access to labs, take him on trips to different conventions and have an alumni list a kilometer long for future collaborations.
—the man does not party but he will occasionally slip into quieter bars to ease some of his frustrations. he actually enjoys karaoke thursdays , not to sing for himself but the drunken antics of others bring him some amusement.
—smokes weed occasionally, but only his own product. it helps him relaxand fan out the stress. he never sells it but sometimes gojo nicks some of his stash. given that he gets drug tested often, geto doesn’t know how the athlete never gets caught.
RELATIONSHIPS
—not interested in seeking out relationships in the slightest. the man has a plan and he’s already married to it.
—he’s not completely immune to sexual advances though and occasionally splurges but none of the friends with benefits crap. he’ll hit it once and stay celibate for the rest of the year easily.
—you might be able to squeeze in as his fellow lab partner. remain invested in the work and not him and he’ll start noticing the little details of your company- the way you subtle perfume lingers on his lab coat hours after you’ve adorned for the day, how he knows you have to keep your hair up for safety precautions but he thinks about running his fingers through it daily and your mind, damn, he wonders what else you can come up with when he has you laid out on his sheets.
—if he’s interested, geto won’t hesitate to broach the topic. he’ll ask you out for coffee and when you try to bring up research he’ll be upfront about his attraction. ultimately if you start dating the two of you are an absolute unit- not that you weren’t before.
—you’re the one variable he didn’t plan for but he’s glad to have added you to the equation.
nanami kento
MAJOR
—he was made for the business world, brought by a CEO who raised him to inherit the company. administration major marketing minor.
—takes initiative in all his classes and is often coined as group leader for projects. mostly keeps to himself  and only speaks up when prompted or disagrees with something.
—he takes the earliest sessions possible because it means less people more often than not. doesn’t really care if its in the front, middle or back but always sits near the edge.
—doesn’t really want to but it looks good on his resume so he joins the marketing team where they present mock business plans for competitions. they win a lot. nanami honestly doesn’t care. but again it looks good.
—it only took him a brief summer internship to learn that he found nothing satisfying about board meetings and macro management.
—he decides to invest in law school to handle the company from a legal standpoint instead.
SOCIAL
— sort of like geto, only wants to make friends on a need be basis.
—he would rather keep to himself but knows the benefits of socializing so he interacts with his frequent classmates when he can- through study groups or car pooling to seminars.
—he does join a fraternity, its the same one his father did (and uncles, cousins, whatnot. its a generational thing). its geared towards bettering future leaders. they focus building resumes, charity events and run the organization like a proper business. nanami gets elected president by his third year and runs two terms.
—the only parties he attends are networking events- full of wine and fancy horderves. wine is plentiful but he’s always nursing a scotch on top of his headache. if one more person squeezes their stocks into a conversation he’s going to personally take down the whole market
—zero interest in college party life. spends some of his downtime at the campus theater watching old time movies and classic plays.
—he’s the coffee shop hoe. he wakes up early sometimes just to sit by the window and read some casual literature. has his own thermo that gives him free refills to cart to class. do not talk to this man before he’s had his caffeine.
RELATIONSHIP
—he probably has a high school sweetheart that he’s still clinging too, whether on the same campus or long distance. it helps him because he can’t really see himself pursuing a relationship while focusing on school.
—he’s been with you long enough that you understand his ambitions and won’t feel bested by them. the two of you have a system- starting the day off with sweet ‘good morning’ texts before class and ending the day with long conversations as you digest the last 12 hours.
—nanami is independent but he is thankful to have you to rely on when classes start to overwhelm him. the two of try to escape briefly for the weekend when you can. often going to near by reservations just to get off campus
—other times the two of you will cuddle close on your dorm bed, his long fingers combing through your hair while he reads over some notes for class.
—sometimes you have to be the one to tell him to take a break and to enjoy life while he can. even if that means dragging him the events and concerts hosted on campus. he resists at first but you can see the tension ebbing away as the night comes to a close.
—the two of you start living together in your senior year just because you can. he insists on buying a house. not only because he can afford it because it can be rented out after graduation. always the business man.
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harrywritingsbyme · 4 years
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Story: y/n feels sorry for being herself. sometimes she has trouble accepting and loving herself..even tho she has no problem loving Harry, with all his flaws. he definitely helps her with that ;)
Beautiful
Anonymous Said: 11 and 20 from the prompt list
Based Off Of This Ask
A/N: I got a request for 11 and 20 from the prompt list and they fit perfectly with this. I definitely wrote this with myself, my own struggles, and the struggles of the other beautiful ladies out there in mind. I also wanted to make it a lil bit deeper by incorporating some post-pregnancy y/n had Harry up in there. Also, I wanted do something real fluffy bc what I have planned for Friday is insane. Enjoy🙃
11. “Fuck you have no idea what you do to me.”
20. “Such a beautiful body, why would anyone hate it?”
You were really going through it this morning. For starters, when you woke up you were immediately drawn towards going back to sleep and recouping some of the sleep you’d lost recently. On top of that, your nipples were incredibly sore from breastfeeding and your body was still drained and recovering from giving birth three months ago. But luckily for you though, you were blessed with an amazing husband who didn’t hesitate to take care of you guys’ baby boy. You didn’t even have to ask him, as soon as he saw the exhausted and overwhelmed look on your face when you two woke up to the loud cries of your son, he immediately sprung into action and ordered you to stay in bed and take care of yourself while he tended to the baby and gave you your space. You were able to get a bit more sleep and feel way better than you did earlier on in the morning. Another hour and a half of sleep did wonders for you at this point in your life. That small window of time allowed you to feel rested enough to get up out of bed and get yourself together.
You wasted absolutely no time stripping your sleep clothes off and hopping right into the shower. The water was the perfect temperature and you just stood under it. The hot water pouring down onto your body felt absolutely amazing and you could hands down feel your stress and tension just melting away from it. You were relaxed. Even though you loved your son with your entire being and then some, it was hard. You were so grateful for Harry and you felt like you shouldn’t have any complaints at all.  But it’s just that you weren’t used to having anyone depend on you the way your son just about solely depends on you. So times like these where you were granted a little time to regroup were cherished and seized.
After a nice long shower that was filled with pampering, you turn the water off and you step out to get yourself dried off and dressed. You wrap the fluffy towel from the counter around your body and you head back into the bedroom to grab some clothes. After picking out your daily attire of a t-shirt and sweats, you station yourself on the bed to get ready. But unfortunately for you, you’d stationed yourself right in front of the full body mirror. The second you unwrap your towel from your body, the good feeling that was flowing through you vanished and was replaced with a sad and embarrassed one. This feeling hadn’t reared it’s ugly head in a good while. You hadn’t had the time since the baby was born to take a good look at yourself; and you were starting to feel like you were better off that way.
You always struggled when it came to you having a positive viewpoint of yourself, and in particular your weight. You were constantly battling against the negativity that was coming at you from almost every part of your life. You were in an uphill battle with losing weight and getting to a place where you felt comfortable all the way around. Whenever you took strides to get to that better place, you were always pulled back down. That force was the little comments from family members, people online, and yourself. Whenever you saw or heard what people had to say, you let yourself be overcome with that negativity and in turn it was harder to keep going and push forward. You felt like all your efforts were going to waste and you were never going to see results, inside and out. And at some point you just stopped loving yourself. You managed to love Harry despite his flaws but you couldn’t seem to do it for you. You pretty much gave up on loving yourself. And to make it even worse, you put all of the love inside of you that was supposed to be dedicated to yourself into loving others. The only way you got out of that enormous rut was because of Harry. He made sure to consistently and constantly reassure you that you were beautiful and worth loving. He did daily affirmations and did everything in his power to help you get back on track and work towards your goals.
And for a year you were able to have success in doing that.
After a little over a year of loving yourself, working towards your weight goal, and just feeling good, you got pregnant. When the news broke, you and Harry were over the moon. The two of you were extremely happy and in love that you both could’ve just burst from joy. You were head over heels for Harry and for yourself, and Harry was head over heels for you and the fact that you were head over heels for yourself. Everything was the way it was supposed to be and it was only getting better now that you guys were expecting a bundle of joy. Fortunately for you both, you were able to glide through your pregnancy with only minor hiccups along the way. Since you were always exhausted and you were actively changing, your solid workout and extensive selfceare routines fell by the wayside. You were so tired and just not in the mood that you couldn’t even do the low intensity workouts that your doctor said were okay. The only things you had were your mental wellbeing which was fine, and Harry. You felt bad that you weren’t keeping yourself up the way you’d been doing for the past year and you came down on yourself for it at times. But of course, Harry nipped it right in the bud and brought you back. You couldn’t imagine what you’d do without him throughout all of this.
So seeing yourself in the mirror and taking in your body now was incredibly disheartening and to you it was like a slap in the face to all the hard work you put in along with the tremendous amount of support from Harry. You fully understood that your body wouldn’t be the same after giving birth but you were hoping that it wouldn’t be as bad as it was. That is, as bad as you thought it was. Because you were constantly fighting with those negative thoughts and trying your hardest to love yourself the way you deeply love Harry, everyone else, and now your son, you tended to over exaggerate in your mind how bad something was. If you saw something you didn’t like, you didn’t like it all. And as a result of that, you spent a good amount of time standing there in front of the mirror critiquing your body and asking yourself over and over again how in the hell am I supposed to get back to normal?. You were so engrossed in overanalyzing and critiquing that you didn’t even notice Harry come back into the room.
While you were having some alone time, Harry went into full dad mode. He was able to get bubs to quiet down and let his dad take care of him. He did a quick diaper change so that bubs could be comfortable while Harry made himself something quick breakfast. He played with the baby for a while before giving him a lukewarm bath to get him cleaned up for the day, and he fed bubs, lulling the little boy right into a milk induced sleep. And hopefully, it’d stick for an hour or two so that he could spend some time with his wife. When he makes his way into the room, Harry’s feeling good. He got the baby squared away and taken care of, and his wife was taking some much needed time to herself. He knew that it was a big adjustment for you and he wanted to take as much off of you as possible because you deserved it. After your struggles in the past with your weight and loving yourself, Harry could only imagine how difficult it must be to keep yourself in a good headspace and just enjoy motherhood to the fullest without focusing on the “negatives”.
That’s why when he saw you looking at your naked body in the mirror with a downcast and almost disgusted look on your face towards your reflection, Harry knew exactly what was going on and he had to step in. You were doing so well and the last thing he wanted was for you to fall back into that deep hole of negativity that you worked so hard to get out of. He immediately makes his way over and stands right in front of you so that he’s blocking your view of the mirror. When he does this, your head still hangs low and you can’t even bring yourself to look up at him.
“I look horrible.” You whisper sorrowfully. At this, Harry extends his hands out to cup your cheeks and lift your head up to look at him.
“Baby…” He coos, seeing the saddened look in your glassy eyes. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world, you always have been. You’re even more beautiful now.”
“No I’m not. Everything is worse and I won’t be able to get back from this.” You sigh pessimistically.
“Yes it’ll take time, but you can do it and I’ll be right here by your side to help you through.” He begins, lovingly reassuring you of his full commitment to you. Harry then lets go of your cheeks and moves so that he’s behind your body and so that you can see the mirror again before wrapping his arms around your naked waist. “When I look at you, I see a badass and a strong woman. I see the woman who carried and delivered our son. I see the beautiful mother of my child. I see the woman I married three years ago. I see you Y/n, the love of my life.” He whispers, trying his hardest to hold back his own tears. Seeing you be so harsh towards yourself was not okay with him and it tore him apart. You are his rock, and to see you falling apart was causing him to break down himself.
“I just- I hate it.”
“Such a beautiful body, why would anyone hate it?” He whispers, trying to reason with you. “You’re beautiful.” He reminds pointedly. “Now say it with me.” He instructs further.
“You’re beautiful.”
“I’m beautiful.” The both of you say in unison repeatedly, every time Harry gives you a kiss to your neck. As this continues on, Harry couldn’t stop himself from stiffening up in his pants. The two of you hadn’t been this intimate in a good while and he missed it. He knew that you were still feeling insecure and that his purpose was to reassure you that you’re not what you’re saying you are and that he loves you so much. That’s why Harry was absolutely loving the idea of making love to you so that you could really see how amazing you are and the effect you have on him.
While his kisses and affirmations continue, Harry’s hand slowly strays away from your lower stomach. He slowly but surely makes his way down to the area between your legs, cupping you in his hand with his fingertip resting on your button between your folds. He then begins to circle his finger around your button. You hadn’t felt his fingers in a good while, and you had to admit that they felt really good against you right now. When your pants and small moans begin to hasten and you begin to enjoy him more, Harry swiftly turns you around to face him before lifting you up and lying you down on the bed. Once you’re lying on the bed, Harry quickly undresses himself  before lying on top of you.
“Fuck you have no idea what you do to me.” Harry admires, taking in all of your amazing features. He then begins to work your body, starting with your neck and working his way down. He peppers kisses all across your skin and he continues with his affirmation as he kisses down and up your body. “Wanna make you feel good, wanna make love to you. Can I baby?” Harry asks softly, bringing his lips to yours.
“Please?” You sigh needfully up to him. You really needed to feel good. When you give him this answer, Harry is quick to keep himself propped up on one hand as he reaches down to line himself up with your entrance. When you feel him nudging at your hole, you reach up to pull his face down and connect your lips with his before lifting your hips up a little to give him the signal to keep going. As he pushes into you, you both keep your mouth’s against each others, moaning into one another as he enters you. It felt a bit weird, but it felt really good. You felt full and Harry was filling you. Everything was perfect.
Harry continues to slowly and deeply rock his hips into you while whispering sweet nothings into your ear through his moans and  keeping two fingers on your clit. The both of you were on cloud nine. You were being fully pleasured by Harry and he was pleasuring you and you feel special the way you deserved while receiving amazing pleasure as well. Since the both of you were a bit more sensitive due to the fact that there were so many emotions involved, you and Harry reached the edge pretty quickly. The pleasure was outstanding and you both needed to let go and fully experience it all.
“Wanna cum with me darling?” Harry coos through a moan, continuing to rock into you and rub at your clit.
“So bad.” You whine, feeling his cock hit that sweet spot deep inside you.
“I love you so much baby.” Harry grunts down to you, deeply pushing in one final time  as he begins to let go inside you.
“I love you too!” You gasping response, feeling your own release wash over your entire being. It was amazing to say the least.
“Y’so beautiful.” He says again as he rides the wave of his release. When he says this, he is subliminally signaling for you to repeat it.
“I’m beautiful.” You say softly, still feeling the major shocks of your release.
One round of loving wouldn’t do the ultimate trick in changing how you felt, but it was definitely a good place to start.
Masterlist
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darlington-v · 3 years
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I know different interpretations of a work are generally enriching and cool... but c!dream villan interpretations is like how to tell me you only watch Tommy without saying you only watch tommy.... which would be fine but its not a great place to be making statements about the whole nature of the dsmp lol
Wild speculation, but sometimes I wonder if like, because the dsmp didn't really start as a narrative, and a lot of fans don't nessecarily enter it expecting a narrative, but then there is one and the fandom is really discourse heavy and everyone is sort of excpeted to have an opinion while maybe not expecting to form one from the begining or not having a ton of experience with narrative in a way that would "expect" them to have an opinion or not take things at face value??, I don't know if I explained that well at all... and I don't really even think thats right nessecarily... but like wow sometimes some of the takes about power and government and villany...
Honestly, it makes sense!!!
I think something interesting is like.... looking at how animatics have shaped the like tone and culture of the fandom essentially. Like, an interesting fact that I didn't really fully grasp until SUPER recently is like...
c!Wilbur out the gate admits he is manipulating c!Tommy. Like his first youtube video on the Dream SMP he admits his goal is to manipulate c!Tommy and people like c!Tommy into helping him achieve a potion ("drug") empire to monopolize on potions because there were a lot of people on the server who like to min-max, which is to put all of your effort into this one specific skill essentially. so like... i know minecraft doesnt have a skill tree but if it did, it would be putting all your points into that one specific branch of a skill tree. So he wanted to exploit the labor of all the TommyInnits to.... maintain a Potion Empire.
THIS IS A LONG POST BC I GOT CARRIED AWAY SO BUCKLE UP
And I don't think a lot of the fandom who joined later on knows this. I certainly didn't until like a week or so ago? Like... I knew c!Wilbur had been manipulative from the start because I'm a mod of (shameless self promo incoming) @dsmpanalysis and we have a lot of different POVs in that mod team and discord and we talk about it really frequently. I joined the fandom as someone who was really big on L'manburg ESPECIALLY crimeboys, and have turned into.... *gestures vaguely to my blog*
And ngl I owe a lot of it to @1-michibiki-1 in terms of c!Dream "Apologism" but all of the mods there have expanded my thoughts and views on the storylines of this narrative.
My application consisted of like largely essays about like... how I think Dream was the villain but he was meant to be the villain because you don't get any insight into his character WHICH.... IS A FAIR ASSUMPTION AT FIRST GLANCE. People are easily villainized when you cannot get a glimpse into their thought process. It's easy to dwindle someone down into this flat character and starting out I knew Dream didn't stream the SMP on purpose.
And I personally came to the conclusion of "Oh! So Dream is supposed to be the villain." However as the story continued and I learned more about what Dream went through I began to realize that... it's more than likely a form of a red herring. My opinions on this were immediately solidified when I watched Ranboo's 2 MIL stream because both Ranboo AND Dream agree on enjoying red herrings.
There have been MANY times were Dream has said that c!Dream is a complex character and he's not a wholly evil guy and there have been times where the narrative has honestly just proved that.
Anyways, what's important though was that... I learned most of this from other people who were more focused on c!Dream rather than myself. Eventually I shifted from c!Tommy to c!Ranboo and c!Techno after c!Tommy betrayed c!Techno and I began to realize.... everything I learned before hopping in wasn't exactly what it seemed.
Part of this is because I'm older, I heavily identify with c!Techno's sense of loyalty and philosophies on government, but I especially identify with the anguish c!Techno voiced in... a lot of lore but especially the lore around Doomsday.
I'm not 16 anymore. I don't always feel wronged by adults, or older people in my case, whenever they absolutely have done something wrong by me, but I do feel wronged by my close friends. I also felt like c!Tommy's sense of loyalty didn't line up with mine after what felt like him constantly flip-flopping and refusing to understand c!Techno's morals on government didn't line up with his.
In short, it was easier to identify with Tommy in these animatics versus in the actual stream content because c!Tommy is played by a 16 year old. I'm not a teenager and my line of thinking doesn't entirely line up with people that age anymore. It's harder to place myself in the same shoes of someone's OC who is played closer to their actual age, because I'm not that age.
Regardless, I was still on the c!Dream is a villain train. I wasn't ever like... c!Dream is repulsive I hate him, but I was like omg hot villain lad go brrr.
Even when the first like... mellohi, panic room, Ranboo lore stream popped up I thought "Oh! c!Ranboo corruption arc?"
And I was excited because I really wanted this shy, nervous character to turn into villain buddies with his good pal c!Dream. I'm a total sucker for villains and corruption arcs and all that good shit.
SO I STARTED GETTING REALLY INTERESTED IN ENDERSMILE. I'VE BEEN ON ENDERSMILE SQUAD OUT THE GATE. NOT THE SAME WAY I AM NOW, BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THEM TO TEAM UP.
So... upon not really keeping up with c!Dream and being relatively??? indifferent? I don't think I started arguments on c!Dream back then, but I might have. But I remember like... starting to participate more whenever c!Dream came up and looking more into Dream's character BUT ESPECIALLY TALKING WITH OUR SERVER'S C!DREAM SPECIALIST MICHI ABOUT DREAM A LOT MORE.
And because Michi has been a watcher since day one and was a DTeam fan rather than a SBI fan, she was able to provide me with more information on how the server worked pre-Tommy but especially pre-Wilbur.
Now, you could definitely argue well Michi probably has clear bias but it made sense to me when I looked back on how the storyline had been constructed and was going along, and everyone in the server talks a lot about our own biases and how we want people to maybe not lean so hard on them. Michi would also provide like anecdotes on what had happened and I'm sure links were probably provided at one point but the point was I felt like Michi had no reason to lie or manipulate how the story was told and if she did, eventually someone would have pointed it out because... Group of like... right now it's around 20 or more analysts but I don't remember how many at the time there were. POINT BEING, WE'VE ALL GOT POINTS TO PROVE AND IN MY EXPERIENCE NOT MANY OF US HAVE BEEN SHY TO PROVE THEM.
So if anyone ever had any differing opinions they would be talked about and we literally had and still have discussions.
REGARDLESS.... I DIDN'T FACT CHECK IN DEPTH BECAUSE I THOUGHT PEER REVIEW WAS ENOUGH WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE HOURS UPON HOURS OF STREAMS TO WATCH.
Anyways. Eventually I started paying closer attention and looking more into c!Dream lore but only recently have I started to triple check before speaking about c!Wilbur lore because I know everyone has biases and while I did trust everyone's thoughts and analysis in the discord, whenever I make essays I typically like it to be largely air tight and if theres a mistake, I want it to be because I forgot not because I just trusted what was said. Plus, I wanted to get down to the specifics of how Wilbur had always started with manipulation on the mind.
SO I WATCHED HIS FIRST VIDEO ON THE DREAM SMP.
AND WHAT I WAS NOT BY ANY MEANS EXPECTING WAS WILBUR TO SAY WORD FOR WORD, VERBATIM,
"SO WHY DON'T I START AN INDUSTRY WHERE I USE THE TOMMYINNITS OF THE WORLD TO WORK FOR ME, TO CREATE THINGS THAT THE MIN-MAXERS OF THE WORLD WILL WANT."
Like... this is in no way an attempt to like hardcore villainize c!Wilbur like everyone does Dream, it's just more so to like REALLY outline how far off a lot of fandom interpretation of c!Wilbur is....
Because of SBI focused animatics.
Now, when I joined I watched A LOT of animatics that really highlighted like... Wilbur being this self-loathing JD-esque, "I destroyed it because I had to because the world was against me because no one loved us, Tommy" type of character. At least... that's what it came across as.
And it definitely highlighted the fact that Tommy was a victim, which he is. He is undoubtedly a victim and no not even any dream apologist can change my mind otherwise. Tommy, despite being an instigator sometimes, didn't deserve the abuse he received.
But these animatics never shown the fact that c!Wilbur started L'manburg as a shady ploy to exploit people like c!Tommy and vilify c!Dream so he could have power.
And that was easy because Dream and Tommy had wars before. They had spars and pranks and here's the plan to take back my disks and here's the plan to out smart the thieving little child etc etc.
And all of the animatics I watched never mentioned this. Neither did the recaps though. The recaps gave the events flat out, there didn't sound like there was bias, and honestly I don't really know if there was rather than like... a lack of nuance. And it's hard to provide a recap with that much nuance in a short period of time for a youtube video, to be perfectly fair.
However, this creates a perfect formula for entirely rewriting the history of a server. c!Wilbur quite literally fucking succeeded TO A META LEVEL. He slandered and ran smear campaigns against Dream and like he even does that with Sapnap in the beginning. But what's crazy is that it transferred over into the meta! Most of this fandom understands Wilbur as a victim of mental illness, and yeah maybe? He definitely wasn't mentally well by the end of pogtopia, but he never started out with honorable intentions. L'manburg was never a victim, only its citizens. The TommyInnits of the world.
I just think it's like... such an interesting case study. Because this is like... an opinion like shared by at least half of the fandom, but the vilifying of c!Dream is shared by MOST of the fandom I would argue. Which is like even more crazy for me because that was c!Wilbur's goal!!!
LIKE I GO INSANE WHEN I THINK OF THIS BECAUSE HIS REACH IS JUST TOO POWERFUL. HE'S NOT EVEN ENTIRELY REAL, JUST A MANIPULATIVE PERSONA OF SOME BRITISH GUY.
And I mean... maybe people who have watched Wilbur's video on the SMP still maintain this idea that Wilbur wasn't always the bad guy, but honestly... I wouldn't be surprised if their introduction was still an animatic. Like bias is hard to check and I'm not going to lie I could have sworn I watched both Wilbur's AND Tommy's video on the SMP in the beginning and yet I STILL was a ride or die for tragic yet on some level still honorable Wilbur and a resilient Tommy.
Like... upon watching Wilbur's first video... possibly again I was surprised because I thought I did watch it like right before I even started watching the streams and yet I was still so invested in c!Wilbur as this tortured anti-hero.
It took 6 months of... not being in an echo chamber, full of multiple different people of different ages, different stream POVS, and people who joined the fandom at different points in time.
IDK IF THIS WAS EVEN ENTIRELY RELEVANT IT JUST FELT TANGENTIALLY RELEVANT AND THIS WAS SOMETHING I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A HOT MINUTE AFTER LIKE WATCHING WILBUR'S FIRST VIDEO AGAIN.
TLDR;
SBI CENTRIC ANIMATICS HAD A LASTING AFFECT ON THIS FANDOM AS IT'S HARD TO GO BACK AND ACTUALLY CHECK THE NARRATIVE FOR SOLID FACTS FOR YOUR OWN INTERPRETATION BASED ON THE FACT THAT THIS NARRATIVE SPANS OVER HUNDREDS OF HOURS WORTH OF TWITCH STREAMS.
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neko-rogers · 3 years
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hey!! I’m not sure if your inbox is still open but I thought I’d send this just in case! what would you think abt a dark!peter who’s obsessed w s/o and offers to have her stay with him during like the stay-at-home pet of covid so she’s not alone then when it’s lifted he’s like lol you’re not leaving. sorry that’s kinda long and super specific. i absolutely love your writing though!!💗
Jamie All Over
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words: 2,040 (no, i should be sorry bc this was chaotic)
tags: didn’t expect it to be this LONG, manipulative!peter parker, grooming, overprotectiveness, slight mentions of sex, don’t expect too much lmao its a headcanon
a/n: hi babe! i wasn’t entirely sure if you wanted this as a one shot (but if u do let me know!)
so you’re pretty unaware of every move peter is trying to do with you, you know? you were not really sure if it was a kind gesture, as the gentleman he seemed to be, or was it just a special treatment
ever since second year and until now as both of you were on your fourth year, he was consistent with his efforts
these moves were moments like when he would carry your books to your next class or confidently invite you to a study ‘date’ at the library after – often times he tells that his friends were invited, but would never show up later on
sometimes he would bring you lunch. you tried to turn it down kindly, but he insists that it was purposely packed as an extra for when he stays late around the university.
it was a lie though. anyone could tell by the way it was prepared looking very appetizing and tasted just as amazing at it was presented. 
and as peter had mentioned that he lived alone, you also assumed he was the one to make his meals. you were so sure he doesn’t pack for an extra and intentionally wants to impress you with his skills.
“hey, y/n!,” he calls, “look this eggroll has a cute design!”
he honestly was an epitome of a walking sunshine. his smile seemed so pure and you never felt any ill-intent for every gesture he had done for you
his friends seemed very welcoming the moment he introduced you to his group
you got along with ned who seemed to be just as joyful and funny as peter. meanwhile mj was a bit more of a tough cookie, nevertheless you both eventually got a long better than you expected
however, it came to one point wherein your own group of friends started being disheartened with your lack of communication
“you’ve been spending more time with that parker boy, huh?” “yeah, kinda?” “are you two like... dating?” “oh no! no... no... nooo!”
the moment they frowned at you was then that you realized and felt a little more guilty. you always remembered that friends were supposed to be friends despite the lack of time and effort, right?
somehow you tried to compensate for the lack of time with your friends. but every minute you spend felt more awkward than before
they weren’t sharing the same vibe with you and you were starting to question if it had been always like it – were you only adjusting to them?
you reached out for peter, considering that he became one of the closest and trusted people around the university. plus, he seemed to have genuinely great friends
“do you feel happy when you’re spending time with them?”
“well i used to but recently–”
“then you should stop being friends with them.”
you were upset for a second. the way he instantly told you that cutting ties with them would be the (only) option
he sounded serious on the other end of the line and you were just speechless for a moment. the dead air between lines was evident, but you didn’t know what to say
“sorry,” peter makes up, “i didn’t mean to sound too serious. i just don’t like people who are rude, especially to you.”
“oh, it’s fine. i totally get it.” you felt a batch of butterflies around your stomach. someone actually cared for you!!!
the moment you didn’t hesitate on losing your friendship with your past friends and moved on with joining peter’s group, things felt lighter.
somehow you felt more expressive than you realized. they were open to your ideas and thoughts, just as you were with them. you felt super comfortable and realized that you weren’t holding back on anything anymore
that’s why you had expected your winter break to be better than your past ones
everyone agreed to skate around the ice rink in rockefeller for christmas. along with it, also spending new year’s eve at the time square
news flash: you finally had the cliche new year’s eve kiss, with none other than peter parker!!! hooray!!!
for anyone who had common sense, your feelings for peter had accentuated. you weren’t denying it either, and the boy wasn’t oblivious to it too
he was just so irresistible and kind to you, like, all the time – to surreal, honestly
you felt and KNEW you were spoiled with peter (and his friends, who liked to spend time with you outside too, just not as much as him)
just as you were planning your spring break activities, it had to be postponed for another time
a lockdown had to be implemented around the country as it was under the state of a pandemic
mj and ned told the group that they’ll be with their families since lectures had to be concluded for the mean time
you planned to do the same, but you expected that this situation wouldn’t last long. so you chose to stay in your dorm rather than return to your hometown
completely sucks since you not only don’t get to hang out with your friends, but you weren’t able to see anyone in person...
until you got a text from peter
he was literally inviting you over his apartment since he explained that he wasn’t returning home either
you practically rushed to pack a small amount of clothes for a sleepover whilst not forgetting to wear a mask (bc it’s fucking important ok)
you arrived at his address and a big warm hug ensues 
his unit was so tidy and you were convinced he did it to impress you
peter was so happy to see you, acknowledging that you’re also spending a few nights with him
the nights mostly consisted of eating snacks and binge watching movies
however during one of those nights, both of you got a bonus – making out on his couch and further, completely forgetting the television
making out with peter wasn’t awkward at all. most of the time he was the one in control, which you didn’t mind
his hands treated you so gently but the way he teased you made you crave for more than what he was offering
a lot of whining, swearing, and begging – you weren’t aware but he was enjoying it a lot
on his side, he did praise you from time to time, but most of it consisted of raw tension and actions. the room was full of grunts and short breaths 
just want to include how sexy peter would be while he moans all over you. like his whole sunshine personality just drained away the moment he places his hands on either sides of your waist
the next day you felt like a princess even though you know it shouldn’t be???
apparently peter prepared breakfast for you and you felt embarrassed walking around his place only in the shirt you wore yesterday and underwear
just when you thought the extra lunch he packs for you was already amazing, the breakfast he prepared whilst being fresh and hot was just incredible
“you really like it?”
“of course! you really have to teach me to cook sometimes”
peter laughs and jokes, “yeah, don’t worry. i feel like we’ve got a lot of time ahead.”
ok fast forward to a few more days when you were beginning to feel like a freeloader. he lets you borrow a few of his clothes as yours were in the laundry
by the time you wanted to stop by your place, peter started to be more... clingy
at first he didn’t want you to go but after a few more debates, he felt defeated and instead insisted on going with you
eventually you caved and let him. it wasn’t that bad either, he talked to you about a lot of things on the way leaving you entertained the whole walk without realizing how far it had been
he helped you ‘pack’ more stuff so you wouldn’t be going back and forth from his place and yours. you felt like you were going out of town for a month with the amount of clothes and products
both of you returned to his place around late afternoon. you felt pretty tired and didn’t hesitate to pass out on the living room couch
when you woke up you sensed that you were in peter’s bedroom, meaning he carried and tucked you during the night
plus! an arm was wrapped around your midriff and you could feel peter’s breathing against your side
you closed your eyes and appreciated the moment. it was cute and made butterflies flutter around your stomach, and you tried not to move much to not wake him up
anyways apparently the pandemic lasted longer, and more serious, than expected (fuck the government and their incompetency) 
you spent more time with peter and was thankful that you didn’t spend this quarantine alone
within a blink of an eye, a month and a half already had passed. you couldn’t deny that most, or all, days have been unproductive
eat, cook, watch tv, cuddle, fuck, repeatedly get spoiled??? yeah sounds like the dream
weird though because you haven’t completely brought up to peter if you’re actually in a relationship with him. oh no were you just friends with (a lot) of benefits??
but you also felt like it wasn’t the time to bring it up. neither of you were saying anything so it was best to let it be for the fear that things might go downhill from there
anyways this continued for more weeks, especially since the ‘stay-at-home’ policy was deemed necessary
you started to help him do errands around the apartment just to feel like you weren’t an actual freeloader – but it wasn’t a surprise when he kept insisting that you should relax
more cute moments
more sexy times
and more cuddles during night (peter’s grip became tighter every night, but you shrugged it off assuming that it was just you getting homesick and overthinking)
ok but when you brought up being homesick and mentioned that you planned peter wasn’t entirely happy about it
the way he acted wasn’t just clingy. he insisted that he’d be the one to go and that you were staying
“ok but i’m not a dog, peter?” “i know, honey, but it’s too dangerous outside. i wouldn’t want you to be at risk.” “i wear a mask?? i follow health protocols?? i’ll be fine??” “you don’t understand–”
oh god he was becoming controlling
you tried not to argue anymore, rather ignoring and pushing past him to proceed to the door
and peter instinctively wrapped an arm around your waist and prevented you from walking further
there was a lot of struggling, but you didn’t know he was this strong. literally what the hell.
you tried to scream too but he pretty much threatened you to your core
“let’s talk this out,” he grunts as he secures his grip around you
“the hell? let me go!”
things got more complicated. he did convince you to talk with him (by means of tying your arms and legs to incapacitate you from running and righting)
it was a nightmare. he was really soft and sweet with you, even getting teary eyed after stating, “i only want what’s best for you... for us”
however you could sense the manipulativeness through it despite being making everything else look convincing
“trust me, sweetie, i wouldn’t want to hurt you. it would crush me” “please don’t cry. i’m only protecting you” “people are disgusting, they don’t deserve an angel like you” “don’t worry, i can protect you”
it terrified you to your nerves, sending shivers across your spine
at first you didn’t realize it, but eventually after days of being trapped, you figured he had been grooming you the whole time
he tried to make you dependent of him and somehow he did a fine job. just not enough to completely exploit you
though, it made you question what would have been better in your situation: being conscious of his sly nature with the hope of escaping or being unaware and completely wrapped around his finger whereas letting him continue how greatly he had been caring for you?
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Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1
🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶
Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??
Yes.
Wushanju Crew Chat
Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.
Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS
Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.
Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES
Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol
What glittery bead curtain
Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.
What could this mean?
Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?
Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES
Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat
Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU
I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS
BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING
GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS
PANIC AT THE DISCO
Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.
Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.
Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT
SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME
Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?
Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES
BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.
Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop
Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.
Wang Pangzi: LOL
Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?
Zhang Qiling: No.
Wu Xie: okay who’s next
Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN
REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)
Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?
Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.
Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS
BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL
ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS
Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted
Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL
Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off
Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??
Zhang Qiling: ?
Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year
He and I go way back
Zhang Qiling: Way back where?
Babysitters Club Chat
Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT
IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED
Zhang Qiling: ?
Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS
YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM
Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.
Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY
LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE
Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.
Main Chat
Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival
Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that
Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.
Re: the trip
He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju
Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital
And frankly the hospital hates him too
Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL
I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT
A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE
WOULDNT YOU SAY
XIOAGE
Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?
Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?
Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.
ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED
Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.
Snake Eyes Chat
Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?
Li Cu: uh nope
Unless u count the outdated memes
Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing
Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet
Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really
(I mean maybe? but who knows)
Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age
Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age
Wu Xie: …hey:(
Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.
Wu Xie: ????????
Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck
Unknown Number: …close enough.
Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that
Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck
Are you
Li Cu is underage FYI
So Im staying on this chat
Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that
Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g
u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember
And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat
we have been discussing u
Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!
What a surprise:)
hi so nice to meet you:)
Main Chat:
Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT
FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT
IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS
Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?
Not my problem? Good.
Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU
HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH
IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE
Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance
has he been collecting on two allowances??
Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.
Snake Eyes Chat
Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?
Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.
Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?
Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)
Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.
another dangerous adventure. again. prick.
Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago
Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago
Li Cu: That isn’t funny.
Unknown Number: …What?
Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.
…I use humor as a coping mechanism?
Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?
Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means
He doesn’t cope, like ever
In fact
It’s kind of why we met
Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh
Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao
Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?
Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why
Main Chat
Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv
Who do we know who spends time in jail
Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process
Also how’s the curtain case coming along
Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?
Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure
Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH
Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat
Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit
u are sus as hell
Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night
I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles
Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved
Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.
Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha
Forget i said anything
Delete this chat even
Li Cu: shit I meant
Legally, biologically, I meant—
shit
…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?
Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!
Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here
lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e
Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff
Wu Xie: uh…okay.
Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail
As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less
I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”
Well maybe the sand
that shit was everywhere
Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.
Li Cu: no, no it’s just
I do technically have a dad
who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.
So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there
Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh
Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right
Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that
Li Cu: ew tmi
Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery
I moved my stuff here, I live here now
So you can’t die anymore
Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned
anyways abt the curtain
Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea
I am in tears.
Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here
Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb
Go hug Pangzi or something
Maybe delete this chat
Or the curtain thing
Focus on the curtain thing
Just stfu and go away
Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3
Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.
Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything
Main Chat
Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*
Wang Pangzi: I MEAN
HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH
BUT SURE
CUTE I GUESS
Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)
Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.
Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE
NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN
DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID
Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid
Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?
Wu Xie: right
Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH
Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.
Unnamed Chat:
Unknown number: so the curtain…
Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know
Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive
Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out
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luvteez · 4 years
Text
bassists do it deeper
Tumblr media
pairing: yunho x genderneutral!reader genre + tags: smut, band au | kink discovery, exhibitionism, a brief segment of semi-public sex, hand kink, size kink, yunho monster cock bc this deserves a tag, power play, switch dynamics (i think??), dom!yunho pulls through in the end, unprotected sex wc: 6.3k
note: big thanks to my fav babie @lustjoong​ for motivating me to combine the two ideas i had for the prompt into one and motivating me to finish this!! here’s my take on the unspoken obligatory yunho size kink fic every ateez smut writer should have written once but make him a bassist. also, the band au to this pwp is literally just there as an excuse to make yeosang the lead singer of the band bc if kq won’t give yeosang lines, i will 
A lot can happen throughout a single weekend, as your English professor suddenly quitting her job, your brother Yeosang almost burning down the kitchen from deep frying an egg, an influx of voicemails in your inbox all sent from Wooyoung, as well as Yeosang’s punk rock band losing a member. It’s a lot to process when all you’ve done is stay the night at Yuqi’s, even harder so when Wooyoung keeps repeating every five seconds that Seonghwa quit the band. (”Why did it have to be Seonghwa who left Stereowave? He was the hottest one!”)
That being said, you expected to come home to a beyond grumpy Yeosang who was trying to find a replacement asap. A band without a bassist sounds empty, and while Stereowave has garnered a big enough fanbase over the years that wouldn’t mind the band continuing as a trio, it just feels wrong. Besides, branding a group consisting of Yeosang the frontman, San the guitarist, Mingi the drummer, and nobody covering the bassist position a band doesn’t sit right.
You were prepared for the worst; a messy kitchen, Yeosang walking around in clothes he wore for five days straight, possibly the outbreak of World War III depending on how shitty he’s feeling. But instead, you find the kitchen exceptionally clean and Yeosang acting as if nothing ever happened.
“Can you help set up the camera? The guys and I wanna film a new song.”
“Uh, sure,” you answer irritatedly. “Shouldn’t you be more concerned about finding a replacement for Seonghwa though?”
“Oh, we already have a new bassist,” he waves off casually, “What are you gaping at? Shut that jaw of yours before flies fly into your nasty mouth.”
“First of all, rude.” Yeosang rolls his eyes at that comment. For a split second, you’re contemplating letting him figure out on his own how to use the camera because he’s the walking embodiment of a technology illiterate, but your curiosity about the new band member is bigger. “But how did you manage to find a new replacement so fast? It’s been like, what, a day since Seonghwa left?”
Yeosang sighs. “He’s been thinking of quitting for weeks now, so I had enough time to look for a new bassist. It’s not that big of a deal anyway.”
And this is exactly why you should never get dicked down by your bandmate several times in a month, you think to yourself. Seonghwa and Yeosang thought they were slick, but everyone figured they were more than friends. Needless to say, it was only a matter of time until the strain of their relationship wreaked havoc within the band.
“So,” you say as you two walk to the makeshift studio in the basement, “Is the new guy good? What’s his name?”
The change of topic makes Yeosang relax visibly. There’s a sheepish smile on his face and he replies, “You’ll see.”
You arch a brow. For some reason, that doesn’t settle comfortably in your gut. Then there’s the fact that Yeosang is slightly skipping, and that makes you more concerned than relieved. Because Yeosang barely skips, only when he’s being petty and is planning on pranking somebody. (Most of the time, it’s San.)
The faint vibrations of drums and guitars ring in your ears before you step a foot into the basement. Mingi is the first to acknowledge your presence, immediately dampening the cymbals before waving at you. That causes the other two guys to stop playing their instruments and turn their heads around. You greet San like you normally do, and when your eyes flit to the new addition, all brightness drops from your face.
“What. The. Fuck.”
Yunho cocks his head to the side almost tauntingly, eyes challenging. The corners of his mouth quirk upwards, though more with the intention of saying hah you thought you’d never see me again. “Hello to you too, honey. Looks like fate brought us together once more, eh?”
You blink multiple times to make sure your eyes aren’t deceiving you. To your dismay, they sure aren’t. It really is Yunho standing right next to an utterly confused San, and the bass in his hands just confirms it furthermore.
“Since when do you play an instrument?” you gawk. There’s no fucking way he could’ve had time to pick up music, not when his schedule was already jammed with basketball training and student council activities. Then again, that was his schedule in middle school.
“Since I was fifteen,” he drawls, unaffected by your outburst. “Any other questions, honey? Preferably something along the lines of how have you been? I expected a warmer welcome from you, not gonna lie.”
“What does Yeosang even see in you?” you splutter instead, disgust prevalent in your voice.
“Talent. Believe it or not.”
“Guys, no fighting,” Yeosang warns, but you’re too busy sending Yunho daggers and every pg rated curse under the sun your brain can wrack up.
Meanwhile, San shifts his weight on one leg awkwardly and asks in the background as your verbal dispute continues, “Are they exes or something?”
“Nah, just childhood enemies,” Mingi mumbles, clearly used to your interactions to the point where he’s becoming bored of it. He’s heard all the profanities too many times coming out from the same mouth, hence why he isn’t as disturbed as San is.
“Listen up, you piec—“ 
“(y/n), the camera. Help your older brother out, will ya?” Yeosang cuts you off urgently, the warning tone in his words hard to miss.
“Yeah, help your brother out, shorty,” Yunho snickers. Appalled by his blatant shamelessness, you scowl.
“I’m not that short—!”
“Still shorter than I am, shorty. Or do you prefer honey?”
World War III would’ve broken out right then and there if it weren’t for Yeosang’s death glare — you know, the look he has etched on his face whenever he means business and is willing to go so far and expose all of the nasty mishaps you’ve done in middle school, which is definitely something that should never see the light of day.
“I prefer neither,” you mutter after weighing the gravity of Yeosang’s wrath, avoiding any eyes before you set up the camera. Luckily, nobody further comments on that and eventually, everybody resumes practicing their parts of the songs.
Just in time as Mingi takes another short break to chug his water down, you stumble across a problem. “Uh, Yeosang? You should buy a new camera. This is still usable, but you might have to reset every ten minutes or so.”
A groan leaves him, followed by a shrill guitar riff, and you can see that he’d prefer death over spending money for a new one. “Can’t you just stay here during practice and reset it? You also get to hear some new tracks of the upcoming EP!” That fucker, he’s just too lazy to run forward and press a button every few minutes.
“I have to be on standby for the Block B ticket sale,” you lie. Technically, it’s not really a lie because you do plan on going to the Block B concert with Wooyoung, but 1) the ticket sale isn’t even today and 2) it’s always Wooyoung who buys the tickets. Yeosang doesn’t need to know that though. Any excuse is better than having to sit through practice and see if Yunho is as good as he claims.
Seems like Yeosang desperately doesn’t want to keep running back and forth to reset the camera as he suddenly says, “You can do it here too.” You would argue that the garage has its separate WiFi and only the band members have access to it, but then: “You can use my laptop instead.”
And letting you use his laptop is something he never does. You failed to submit an assignment in time because your own laptop broke down and he didn’t let you borrow his computer for even that.
“Fine,” you sigh in defeat. Yeosang thanks you with a smile so obnoxiously sweet it makes you gag. When all he gets in return from you is the middle finger, his demeanor drops and he mutters something inaudible under his breath, pointing to the small table at the side where all their phones and laptops are lying before he goes back to the others.
Once all four of them are in position and ready to play, you press the record button before flipping yourself onto the old patchwork couch Yeosang bought at a garage sale for only thirty quid a few years back. To your surprise, Yeosang’s MacBook is already unlocked, the default wallpaper of mountains and northern lights quite jarring to your eyes.
When given the rare chance to have unlimited access to your sibling’s devices, it’s self-explanatory what to do. You either a) go through all of their accounts and find as much dirt as possible about them that serves as good material for future blackmail purposes or b) sign them up to as many online subscriptions as possible that will make them go crazy. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work on Yeosang because 1) he doesn’t mind online subscriptions, and 2) he never checks his email account, hence why his inbox is filled with over 2000 mails, a third of them most likely unopened. On top of that, his MacBook is strictly meant for work, so if you really wanted to find out his most embarrassing secrets, your only shot is his phone.
That being said, you’re left with option c) which is checking out Block B’s concert merch since that’s the only sensible thing you can do right now. Forget productivity; that isn’t doable when Yeosang’s deep timbre is blaring in your ears along with the instruments. To be honest, you really enjoy Stereowave’s music and that’s on their music, not because your brother is the lead singer. You’ve enjoyed each of their performances and perhaps you’ve been indulging in the privilege of hearing their new songs first.
But now that Yunho’s involved, suddenly the prospect of having a new favorite band sounds tempting. What was Yuqi’s favorite band again? Day6? You should take a closer look at their discography.
As much as you want to mute the sound, from San’s riffs to Mingi’s drum solo, you fail to do so. One moment you’re opening the search browser, and in the next, your eyes are set on the group. They’re practicing like they usually do; fun etched on their faces as they lose themselves in the music. Yeosang is singing as if he was performing in front of a million viewers while San improvises a solo on a whim. Mingi messes up the beat for a split second after failing to catch his stick and somehow, your eyes have zoomed in on Yunho. It doesn’t take you five seconds to realize:
Yunho is good.
While he might not seem as fired up as the other three, he’s visibly relaxed. Just like Seonghwa, he plays smoothly and isn’t overpowered by the others, but he seems to have an easier time gliding his fingers across the fingerboard. The bassline is easy to filter out, not the generic pattern you can find in every second pop song, yet still compliments the other instruments.
He can play, fair game. However, that’s the least of your worries. You’re more attentive to the ratio of his hands to the bass. His hands are larger than Seonghwa’s by far, no doubt. That makes sense given his height, maybe an inch taller than Mingi. But Mingi doesn’t have that big hands. Doesn’t that mean that Yunho’s body is disproportional?
Before you know it, you drag your gaze from his shoes up to his legs and stop at his hands briefly, only to proceed upwards until you see the cocky smirk and amused eyes directed at you. All clogs in your brain come to a stillstand and despite that, that’s when you realize you’ve been 1) enjoying his music, 2) checking him out, and 3) checking him out and caught red-handed.
It feels as if you were living on the sun instead of on Earth as you burn up in embarrassment. Knowing there’s no way you can deflect what you just did, you quickly turn back to the laptop, the Google search bar staring back at you.
You’re about to type in something when the search history pops up, catching your eyes. A gasp leaves you but it goes under the music, everyone too immersed in their own thing to notice the prevalent horror settling on your face.
exhibitionism
getting off in public
best crowded places to have sex and get away with it
You blink, thinking that your sleep deprivation got the worst out of you and that you’ve finally reached the stage where you start hallucinating. Except, you know you’re not hallucinating. After going through the words again and again, you know that you’re really not fucking hallucinating and that your nonexistent sleep cycle isn’t as bad as Yuqi makes it out to be.
When you said you wanted to dig up dirt on your brother, you didn’t mean it in the form of his kinks. Money can’t buy everything, but how you wish it could so you could unsee that shocking discovery.
Since this is Yeosang’s work computer and he’s signed into his Google account, he must make use of the drive to save a copy of his ideas. It probably won’t amount to anything since he’s the walking embodiment of staying unbothered, but writing him a note on his docs about how he’s made your life worse by not clearing his search history is better than staying silent.
You click on the little icon on the top right corner, expecting to see Yeosang’s name right above the email address. But then you see Yunho’s name instead, and suddenly everything makes much more sense.
This was never Yeosang’s laptop to begin with.
To say you’re at a loss of words is an understatement. There’s no way someone could have as little self-awareness and leave their laptop unlocked, let alone Yunho out of all people. Then again, the last thing you expected from him was to play the bass and blend well with the rest of the band as if he’s always been the bassist of Stereowave and not the newly found replacement.
This is absolutely bonkers. But:
You could have fun with it. Maybe it’s for the better that money can’t buy everything.
Besides dozens of articles about semi-public sex and even a blogpost titled Shagging in Broad Daylight for Dummies, his search history of the last 24 hours consists of many forum links discussing the morality of exhibitionism, conspiracy theories, and hand care guides. You wheeze when you see the private playlist he saved on his YouTube account; a collection of videos about filing your nails properly and the best hand cream brands for dry skin.
Yeosang calls in for a break, and everyone’s grateful for it. San lets out a relieved noise as he places his guitar on the stand before catching the water bottle Mingi chucks at him.
“My arms are beat,” Mingi complains.
San sends him an incredulous look and snorts, “All you do is bang! crash! ppang! while my throat is fucked! And so are my legs!”
“Not my fault if you keep doing your high pitched oows! while jumping around like a— like a cricket!”
“A cricket? Are you serious?”
“I’m tired, okay!”
“Then that means we should call it a day and go home and rest, right?”
“Choi San, I think you’re onto something.”
“Absolutely not,” Yeosang deadpans, causing the bickering duo to pout in sync. “We have lots to do especially since Yunho’s now part of the band.” When all he’s met with is an attempt of cute puppy eyes that rather looks like a bad rendition of any horror movie featuring creepy dolls, Yeosang sighs, “I ordered chicken for dinner and yes, it’s on me.”
In an instant, Mingi and San’s faces brighten up and they’re celebrating as if they won a free cruise to the Bahamas. They don’t hesitate to envelop Yeosang in a bear hug, crushing the life out of him. A chuckle escapes you at the sight of your brother wringing for his sanity. Sometimes you wonder how on Earth those three guys are the same three guys who perform in abandoned warehouses, jamming out their punk rock songs while looking all edgy (in a cool way that has at least half of their fans thirsting after them).
Meanwhile, Yunho drops himself on the other end of the couch. Propping his right leg on the coffee table in front, he digs around in his pockets before pulling something out.
“Since when do you file your nails?” You pointedly raise a brow at him. Although your extensive research on his browser history already answered that question, you ask him just for the sake of it.
“Hand care is important, shorty,” Yunho replies, keeping his eyes trained on his fingers as he works the file around a nail. “If Kageyama Tobio files his nails, I can too. But enough with the small talk, what do you want?”
“I didn’t peg you as an exhibitionist.”
His hand stops moving. Yunho looks up at you, irritation written all over his features. “Because I file my nails...? A bold assumption, honey.”
There’s a reason why Yunho has always gotten away with pretty much everything. He’s a good actor who’s able to feign innocence at any time. His posture is relaxed, voice genuinely sounding flabbergasted that not even your shit-eating grin can throw him off guard.
You can’t, but your proof will do the job.
“I never said it’s because of your hand fixation.” You turn the laptop screen his way and once his eyes flicker on it and decipher the words, his face falls. Gone is the faux-confusion; as all color drains from him, his eyes look like they’re about to fall out of their sockets. “Is it really a bold assumption now, honey?”
Yunho inhales sharply when you scoot closer to him and put a firm hand on his left leg, his laptop now closed and long forgotten. Your fingers are placed too high for it to be friendly, skimming lightly on the inside of his thigh. Yeosang and the others are busy minding their own business but the chance of getting caught in the act is still there. The simple realization has adrenaline running a hundred miles an hour in your veins, and with the way Yunho clenches his jaw — a desperate attempt to fight the groan that’s threatening in the back of his throat — you’re not the only one who’s aroused by the setup.
Slowly, your hand inches closer to his growing bulge. Before you can dare yet another experimental squeeze, Yunho’s hand surges forward and holds your wrist in a vice grip.
“Don’t,” he snarls through gritted teeth, but it sounds sadder than it is intimidating when he’s sporting a boner right in front of your eyes.
You cock your head to the side, almost in a mocking demeanor. “You sure? Think about it, it’s a win-win situation. You get to live out your exhibitionist right here in front of your new bandmates, and I get the confirmation that you’re into it. But if you really don’t want to…” you try to retreat your hand but Yunho doesn’t let you budge, hand still enclosed around yours. That won’t do as an answer.
“Which one is it? Say it, Yunho,” you assert, narrowing your eyes. Yunho looks distraught, feverishly biting his lip while he’s internally fighting with himself, but he eventually chokes out a response.
“As long as nobody notices—”
“You either say you want me to touch you or not. I don’t want any roundabout stories.”
“Touch me,” he whispers defeatedly and the grip on your hand disappears completely. “But I swear to God if anyone realizes what you’re doing— hhnh—!” he cuts himself off with a low moan when you cup him over the material of his jeans.
“Yes yes, I get it. I don’t need Yeosang to know about this,” you dismiss. “And oh wow, you’re getting hard fast when I’m just touching you over your pants.”
“Just get to it.”
The snappish attitude causes you to stop dead in your tracks. “You think you’re in the position to tell me what to do? I can be mean too, y’know,” you start nonchalantly, a stark contrast to the way your heart is shaking in your ribcage. The power you suddenly hold is exhilarating. “I could just leave you like this, and then you’d have to try to cover your situation down there while practice goes on. How would the others react if they only knew your dick is hard? Probably won’t take them too long to find out since standing for a long time can be tiring, hm?”
Yunho’s head lolls back in response as he’s struggling to keep his eyes open. His breathing is uneven and the resulting moan that follows suit makes you smirk. You lightly smack the inside of his thigh, causing another wave of arousal to rupture in him. He chokes out a hushed ‘f-fuck’ and at this point, the constriction around his cock must be bordering painful.
“Who would’ve thought that the big bad Jeong Yunho is actually a submissive bitch who’s hungry for attention?” you ask gleefully, delivering another slap before stroking the area. “Who would’ve fucking thought you were a sub?”
“I-I’m not— shit, s-stop that, hngh— a fucking sub.”
“Yeah yeah, say that to yourself.” You rip your gaze away from Yunho’s flushed face to check if the coast is clear before targeting his fisted hands. He stiffens when you pry his hand open and bring three digits to your lips, sticking your tongue out to give kitten licks to his fingertips before pushing them into your mouth. You hum, suck, swirl your tongue around his fingers, giggling when all he does is stare at you wordlessly, unable to form any coherent thoughts. “See? Not even once have you put up a fight.”
That seems to snap him out of his daze. In an instant, his eyes darken and his jaw clenches.
“Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn’t tease me.”
You snicker, seeing through his bluff. “Wow, I’m so scared. What do you wanna do? Leave practice right now? Drag me to my room and pound me into the mattress?”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“You could never, sub.”
Whatever strands of self-control were still residing in Yunho have turned to dust by now. One moment he’s towering over you in full height, looking down on your sitting form in bitter distaste, and in the next, he’s dragging you out of the basement, unaffected by the sudden silence and Yeosang, Mingi and San’s confused expressions.
Once you’re in the living room, Yunho wastes no time crowding you against the wall and crashing his lips against yours. The kiss is a messy clash of teeth and tongues, but it leaves you hot and lightheaded and aching for more. Yunho knows no limits and snakes one arm around your waist to pull you closer to him, the other hand fisting your hair. He tugs harshly and the sharp sting sends all your nerves into a frenzy.
“Bedroom. Now.” The sudden huskiness in his tone catches you off guard and you wonder when his voice has ever sounded so rough. You moan into the kiss, fisting his shirt as you stumble your way to your bedroom.
Yunho pins you against the door once you’re in your bedroom. His lips are addictive, just like the groans he slips in kisses and his hands roaming your body. He gets rid of your clothes until you’re left in your underwear, then forces a knee between your legs to keep them from closing. Your eyes roll back at the friction, growing needier and hotter when he presses his thigh against you harder. 
When you finally pull away, his eyes are hooded and his lips are red and swollen. There’s no trace of inhibitions left in him as he watches you like a predator. With horror, you realize that the tables have turned, and when he easily locks both of your wrists above your head with one hand only, that’s when you know you’re undisputedly powerless against him.
“Who’s the sub now?” he pants, eyes sparkling with glee.
“Still y-you.” The response sounds pathetic to your own ears, but you have too big of an ego to admit it out loud. Yunho doesn’t buy it either if his quirked brow wasn’t telling enough.
“Still in denial, honey? I see. Guess I’ll have to do more then.” His free hand reaches down to tug on the waistband of your underwear, only to let it snap against your skin. The slight sting is enough to render your knees into mush and set fog into your vision. He does it again, and then he actually tugs the fabric down and you finally grab his motives.
“You’re bluffing— y-you wouldn’t put y-your fingers,” you ramble, hyperaware about how dangerously close his fingers are. Just when you think he’s about to shove a digit in, he pulls away completely.
“You know, you keep talking about my hands. It’s always my hands this, my hands that,” Yunho says casually, giving his nails a quick glance before meeting your eyes. “Rather than me having a hand fixation, it’s you who has a thing for hands. My hands specifically.”
You don’t like how every word is true. You don’t want to acknowledge that he’s correct. Verbally, because your body is moving on its own and has betrayed you long ago.
Yunho taps on your bottom lip and you comply reluctantly, letting him shove the same three fingers you sucked before. Mumbling unintelligible words under his breath, he watches intently as you hum around him, eyes fluttering shut when he slowly moves them in and out of your mouth. A whine escapes you when he pulls them out for good, soaked wet with your spit.
“Tell me.” Yunho grins, “Tell me what you like about them. Or else I’ll leave you hanging.” He’s not lying and you know it. The look he sends you is enough proof that he wouldn’t hesitate to leave you high and dry.
You don’t like how he’s stringing you on like a rag doll. You don’t like how he’s stripping you off your dignity step by step. Strangely enough, you feel yourself leaking and wanting nothing but his pretty long fingers inside of you.
“I like how they, agh I— I l-like how—” you stutter, losing all levels of rationality when he suddenly circles around your entrance. Yunho urges you to continue and it takes up all of your brainpower to pick up where you left off, “—they’re so long and big and pretty—”
“So you have a size kink.”
You stare at him in disbelief. Now that, that’s something he shouldn’t have deduced. “W-wha— I don’t!”
“Seems to me that you have one though. You kept stressing how big and bad and tall I was after all.” You stiffen. Did you? Did you really? You don’t recall saying it that many times but it's hard to think straight when Yunho still has your wrists above your head and is looking down at you in a downright patronizing way. It leaves you trembling pitifully, feeling called out and feeling so, so small.
He really wants you to hit your lowest peak because he doesn’t stop there. “Who’s the real sub here? Is it really me? Or is it you who likes feeling so short, small, tiny.” His smirk widens when your breath hitches ever so slightly. “I fucking knew it.”
“You don’t know shit,” you bark back, but to no avail. Your credibility has diminished the moment he caught up to your kinks.
“Say whatever you want but that won’t change the fact that you’re tiny baby,” he pauses, takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he’s giving you a thorough once-over and then enunciates the next syllables with such clarity that forces time to stop, “My tiny, helpless baby.”
The pet name breaks you. It’s the final trigger that takes all your inhibitions away and the pathetic size of an ego that was left in your stubborn head.
“Please,” your voice cracks but that’s the least of your worries. You can’t move, can’t talk back, and won’t get anything in return. Yunho is right in front of you, finding satisfaction in your internal destruction and yet, after all of the things he’s slaughtered you to, he won’t give you anything in return.
“Just a little bit more, baby. I’ll give you what you want if you repeat after me; I’m your—”
“I’m your tiny, helpless baby who desperately wants you to fuck me.” Yunho is mildly taken aback that you were still able to think and get it right before he even finished his sentence. “Now get on to it, Yunho. Please.”
You’re sniffling at this point, begging for any kind of stimulation that shoots you to the stars. You’re fucking sniffling, and that’s all it takes for Yunho to manhandle you on the bed. A gasp escapes you, not expecting this turn of events at all. It all happens in a flash and the next thing you know, you’re on all fours, face buried in the pillow.
“Yunho, I t-thought y-you’d fuck me,” you complain, glancing behind to see what’s taking him so long. Your mouth waters at the sight.
“Patience, baby,” he says as he’s unbuckling his belt, taking his sweet time. You rub your legs together to ease the tension, but you can’t really say you’re not enjoying the show. Yunho’s lean, slightly defined, and once he’s only left in his underwear, you swallow heavily. There’s a large, dark patch on the fabric and the bulge seems more prominent than before.
If your mouth was only watering, you’re drooling by now. Yunho takes off his boxers, revealing his painfully hard cock, tip red and oozing precum. Just like the rest of him, he’s abnormally huge.
You have two thoughts. One: Fuck, you want him. Now. Two:
“That’s never going to fit inside of me.”
“Oh it will,” he says with such confidence it gives you shivers. “I’ll pound you into the mattress and you’ll take it all.”
He grabs you by your thighs to pull you closer to him before positioning himself right behind you. “W-wait!” you cry, heart suddenly feeling heavy in your chest, “D-don’t just put it in without prep— o-oh, hnngh—” your body feels like jelly when Yunho presses two spit-coated fingers past your entrance, stretching you out with finesse.
“I’m not that heartless,” he chuckles amusedly, right at the same time he curls his digits right against your sweet spot, sending you headfirst into bliss. “You’re so small you wouldn’t be able to take an inch without prep.”
You only whine into the pillow, arching your back as he continues his ministrations. Once Yunho deems you stretched out enough, he retreats his fingers and replaces them immediately with his cock.
The difference is like night and day. It’s like his fingers didn’t amount to anything compared to this. The high-pitched cry that escapes you is loud as you grasp onto the pillow for dear life.
“How can you be so big?” you pant. There’s no way he’s past four inches deep inside of you. You’re far from being filled, but your walls are already clenching hard around him.
“Bassists do it deeper for a reason.” The innuendo is tacky but in your current headspace, it sounds like the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard. Yunho stills his hips, letting you get used to him. “How are you feeling?”
“Guh—” he chuckles at your inability to form coherent words, let alone thoughts. “So big.”
“You’ll get used to it, honey.” He leans forward to pet your hair. “Tell me when I can move,” he adds gently, and you swear you could melt right then.
It takes you a moment to get your breathing steady, and then he pushes more of his length inside. Whimpering, you writhe beneath him, feeling as if you’re being torn apart. Meanwhile, he’s breathing hard through his nose, trying his damn hardest to go as slow as possible. At a certain point, Yunho stops pressing for more and pulls out ever so slightly before rocking his hips back forward. It starts out slowly, but he gradually picks up the pace and you lose yourself into him.
“Faster,” you moan, bending your back for an even deeper angle. “Hnngh, so full. Want m-more.”
“You were right, you can’t take me to the hilt.” Yunho readjusts his grip on his hips and you know that bruises are going to last until the end of the week. “God, you’re so fucking small that you can’t take me to the fucking hilt.”
Your vision turns foggy once the meaning gets through you. Now that he’s saying it, how much of his cock is inside of you? Half of it? A third? He’s stretching you out so well, filling you up so impossibly deep and that wasn’t even his everything?
“That’s not— want more of you, all of you,” you stammer, not realizing what you’re even saying. “Baby wants all of you.” God, you’re so drunk and desperate for his cock that you can’t refer yourself in the first person anymore.
Yunho reacts just as perplexed, eyes widening. His hips still once more, and though you’d want to shout at him to keep on moving, you don’t find the energy to move your head, or even lift a finger.
“So fucking greedy,” he growls, pulling out of you completely. Not even a second later, he flips you around on your back so that you’re facing him dead in the eye, and then he pushes back in. The new position has you gurgling on broken words as your arms flail around for dear life.
Yunho throws a leg over his shoulder, creating a deeper angle. You don’t know if he’s actually giving you more if he’s managed to force more of him into you. All you register is the messy squelch of liquids and your moans bouncing off the walls. You can’t even see properly, everything a blur and a mix of different colors.
“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper, sensing your demise nearing closer and closer.
“Then cum,” Yunho orders in between groans, then adds in a louder voice, “You hear that baby? Cum and make a mess out of yourself.”
Your orgasm crashes onto you in a big singular wave as you tremble under his frame, walls clenching around him tightly. His name leaves your mouth like a mantra as you continue to convulse. Yunho pulls out moments later, just to spurt white on your abdomen. His face is flushed and beads of sweat are forming on his forehead while he jerks himself dry.
It’s a miracle that Yunho hasn’t toppled on you once he slowly comes down from his high. The fog in your vision clears up gradually, but your limbs are as good as worthless. You won’t be able to move freely for a good day or two.
As you continue to blink at the ceiling, only finding the energy to breathe, Yunho grabs the box of tissues from your nightstand and wipes himself off before doing the same to you. His touch is gentle unlike before, and you’d thank him if your vocal cords were still functioning.
You’re about to drift to sleep until he suddenly leans down and pecks your lips. In an instant, you narrow your eyes at him and ask, “What was that for?”
“You had some cum on your lip. I wanted to taste too.” Yunho smiles cheekily and runs his tongue against his bottom lip, then grimaces. “It tastes... yikes.”
He cleans you up in silence before plopping onto the bed right next to you. No words are exchanged up until you say, “Yeosang is going to kill you.”
“He can’t afford to kill me. He needs me for the band,” he muses.
“He’ll still kill you.”
“I appreciate the concern, honey.”
“Just scram back to practice.”
“Don’t you want to go to the bathroom first?”
“I can do it myself.”
“Oh really?”
“... Yunho, help me on my legs and then scram back to practice.”
Meanwhile, back in the basement, the guys are waiting for their bandmate to come back so they can finally finish practice and then eat chicken.
“You sure (y/n) and Yunho are only childhood enemies? They’ve been going at it like rabbits if he isn’t back here yet!” San exclaims, throwing his arms up for dramatic effect.
Mingi can’t counter that because San has a point, so he whips his head to Yeosang. “Dude, you sure they’re not in a relationship? They have to be at least fuckbuddies! Or fuckrivals? Fuckenemies? Or…”
“I do not know and I do not care,” Yeosang says blankly, looking like he’s about to bang his head against the wall because he sure won’t walk into your room and curse his eyes for the rest of his life. Damnit, all he wants is to practice and get the band together; their next gig is only a few weeks away. “In fact, I want to unsee what I just saw and unhear what you just said.”
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imagines-r-s · 3 years
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sticking it - j. farabee
chapter 5
a/n: um, y’all might not like me once again, but it’s good for character development. (also i had to repost bc the tags weren’t working, so if you’re seeing it again, don’t stress)
taglist: @butgilinsky @barbienoturbby @sunsetholland​ @lovenhlboys​ @sortagaysortahigh​ @hockey-racing-fubol​ @oopsiedoopsie23​ @iwantahockeyhimbo​ @bbbbruins​ @dreamsndior
warnings: angst. angst. plot twist a tad bit more angst. kathryn. sad joel. simp joel. simp nation for both of them. (nicole being the bestest friend ever. adrian being adrian *chef’s kiss*)
sticking it masterlist
wc: 4.5k (these keep getting longer and longer)
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(gif not mine)
“Ok, ladies. There’s exactly one week until the U.S Classic. For the Junior Division, the few of you that are here right now will be getting exposure to bigger competitions that you will have in the future. This week the three of you are going to be hitting a few routines on each event and then marking the rest of them. We’re not throwing any new skills into the mix, we’re just taking this week to perfect what we have.
For the two of you in the Senior Division, perfection before progress is our motto for this week. We’re not throwing anything huge or difficult, we just perfect routines and move on. For all of you, sometime this week, we will have a mock competition where you’ll go and perform each event as if it were at a meet. Afterwards, if there’s anything a coach tells you to work on or if there’s anything you fall on, you’ll go back and work on that skill or event,” Michelle told everyone as you did your morning line up, “alright, you all know which event to start on first, so let’s just go and have a good week.”
Shortly after that, everyone went to their first event. For many, they went to the event that needed the most work, but you decided to avoid the event that you needed the most work on, instead heading to work on bars first.
“Is there a particular reason that you’re not working your beam dismount?” Nicole asked, as the two of you got chalk.
“No. I’m just working what I need to,” you said.
“y/n, c’mon, that dismount is what needs the most work right now. I understand if you don’t want to work anything major, but you haven’t even done a triple off the actual beam yet. I just don’t want you to beat yourself up for not working it.”
“It’s fine, Nicole. I’ll figure it out,” you left Nicole at the chalk box and started working on your bar routine. Nicole watched as you started your routine, you were making subtle mistakes that she wouldn’t have picked up if she wasn’t watching you so intently.
She winced as you fell on a release skill, a skill that you could easily do in your sleep. Watching as you took a deep breath before getting back on the bar, doing the rest of your skills, and not missing the way your face slightly twisted in pain from the impact of the landing of your dismount.
As you made your way back to the chalk box, she also saw the slight falter in your steps. “Dude, is your knee okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. I just landed weird, I’ll walk it off eventually.”
“y/n, look. I’m just putting this out there, but don’t be afraid to take a break.”
“I don’t exactly have time for breaks right now, but thanks,” you huffed before leaving to work a few skills in your bar routine. Nicole knew you well enough to know that you weren’t doing okay, you hadn’t been since you came back from the lake. You hadn’t exactly told her what had happened, but she knew it had to have happened while you were gone. You were never one to talk about your feelings and she was never one to push you to talk.
The rest of practice couldn’t have gone worse. There was wobbling on basic skills, missed landings, and lots of falling. Lots and lots of falling. Worst of all, anytime you would get on the beam to do the dismount, you would psych yourself out, until you eventually would give up and go back to a different event.
You knew it wasn’t just gymnastics that was stressing you out right now, there was the stress of Kathryn competing the skill that you had worked your ass off to get and when you were about to get the credit for doing said skill, you got hurt; there was the fact that the U.S. Classic was indeed a week away and the first of five practices right before had gone terribly; and then there was the stress of the fact that you pushed away the one person that only wanted what was best for you.
As you drove home, you had a simple plan of going straight to bed as soon as you got home. You didn’t want to have to deal with all your thoughts racing right now and although you were avoiding something with sleep, you thought it might be the best option for right now. Once you got inside your apartment, you kicked off your shoes, grabbed one of your smoothies from the fridge, and made a beeline towards your room.
The next practice went almost the exact same; falling on basic skills, not going for the dismount, and your mind being a thousand miles away. You were hopeful that whatever was going on wasn’t super obvious, but by the time practice was over Marcus had pulled you into his office to talk to you.
“What’s up?” you asked, walking into his office and closing the door behind you.
“What’s up with me? No, we’re here to talk about you. Like what the fuck is going on with you right now?”
“I’m just stressed about this weekend that’s all,” you shrugged.
“Look, I’ve known you long enough and I’ve seen you when you’re nervous about a comp and it never looks like this. So, I’m asking again, what’s going on with you right now?”
“There’s nothing going on, I’m telling you,” you practically yelled.
“y/n,” he sighed, “we let you have a break because you were doing fine other than your dismount, which you were making progress on, but now, you’re just going backwards instead of forwards. I don’t know what happened or what’s going on - and I’m assuming you don’t want to talk about it - but whatever it is needs to get figured out. If you can’t do at least five triple dismounts in the next two days, you’re just doing your double back dismount and you aren’t working the 3.5.”
“Wha-? Marcus, what the fuck? No, that’s not fair.”
“It’s perfectly reasonable actually, if you aren’t doing them at practice, you aren’t competing it. I have always made that clear. Right now, your head is not in what you’re doing, and it’s fairly obvious the only thing motivating you is that Kathryn might be competing it and with how your attitude is right now, that combo will only end in bad news.”
You knew he was right, he had known you long enough to know the way you got in your head about anything, so right now with the combo of everything going on, it made sense. “Marcus, I’ll drop the attitude, whatever. But I can’t deal with what will happen if she competes that dismount this weekend.”
“Ok, you say that, but I want proof. The words coming out of your mouth mean nothing, unless I see you actually doing what you say you will. I love you and I want you to be able to say that skill that hurt you is now named after you, you deserve that, but right now, you’re wearing yourself out trying to prove yourself and it’s only hurting you. You need to figure out whatever is going on up here,” he said, pointing to his head, “before you can work out the physicality of it. Now you have tomorrow to do those five dismounts and if you don’t do them, we’ll work them after this competition.”
Not trusting your voice right now, you simply nodded your head before turning and leaving his office towards your car. Taking deep breaths, you finally sat down in your car, closing your eyes for a moment as your eyes had started watering. Right now the pile of things going on in your life was just growing and you knew if tomorrow’s practice didn’t go good, you would be a wreck.
Pulling out your phone, your first instinct was to go to your messages and text Joel, but something in you was telling you that it was way too soon and that you would only get no response in return. So, instead, you pulled up Spotify and turned on one of your sad playlists just to really set the mood.
…..
You weren’t aware of it, but it wasn’t just you that was a mess. Joel had started packing his stuff as soon as he got back to his room, he knew there was no way he would be able to see you the next day without yelling or crying or letting out whatever emotion he was feeling. He didn’t really even know what he was feeling. Heartbreak? Anger? Sadness?
He couldn’t even wrap his head around what had happened. He had firmly believed when he asked what was going on between the two of you, that you would say something more - anything more - than just friends. Maybe he had been naive, interpreted the situation wrong, but everything was pointing in the right direction.
If you had said anything other than what you had, he would have understood. You want to focus on gym? Ok, he’ll be there on the sidelines supporting you. You can’t do a relationship with everything else going on in your life? Ok, we’ll take time and figure stuff out. But with the certainty that you said the two of you were nothing more than friends, knocked every expectation he had out the window.
He wasn’t saying that he was the perfect guy, he knew he was far from it, but he wanted to figure things out with you being there beside him. Maybe not for the long run, but for the time being he was perfectly fine with what was going on.
As soon as he got home from the lake, he kept to himself for a few days, only coming out because he had a practice. He tried to keep up with everything, but somehow his motions were too slow and he wasn’t catching onto what was happening around him quick enough. Everyone around him was noticing that something was off, but nobody - not even those that were at the lake - knew what was up.
The practices they had that week all kinda played out the same, Joel, who was usually on top of everything and one of the most consistent players, wasn’t playing the way he usually did. Everyone on the team was worried based off of how practices were going, but anytime they tried to talk to him, he simply brushed it off or left before an actual conversation could start.
There were nights that he laid in bed and ended up with your contact pulled up on his phone, or he saw something funny that he knew would make you laugh, but right now, he didn’t know how he should react to what had happened. He didn’t know the rules that he had set in place by walking away that night.
With games on both Wednesday and Thursday that week, he knew he needed to step up. He had to put his feelings aside and be there for his team. That plan worked out well during the Wednesday night game, he didn’t score, but he was able to be there for his team. With the emotions that came from a win, he was able to ignore everything else he felt for at least a while.
Thursday's game did not play out the same way. Joel was making simple mistakes that cost him from making goals and he wasn’t happy about it. He caught a few too many penalties that night and was almost benched because of it. The Flyers lost against the Capitals by one point, which brought down everyone’s mood.
“Yeah, y/n/n isn’t doing all that great right now. She’s not doing any of her dismounts that she needs to and I guess Marcus said she had to do so many or else she wasn’t competing them, but I haven’t heard if she got them done. So, we’ll see how that goes tomorrow,” Joel overheard Kevin tell Nolan.
“She competes tomorrow night, right?” Nolan asked, as he grabbed his bag.
“Yeah, you still want to come? I think she could really use that pep talk.”
“Yeah, yeah, of course, dude. Teeks has plans with Karly, so it’ll just be us, I think.”
Joel wanted to say something, but he didn’t think you’d want him there. To put it simply, he did miss you, but he just wanted an explanation of what had happened. That night as he had your text messages open, he could have sworn he saw the bubbles that meant you were typing show up.
…..
A knock at your door broke you out of your thoughts, knowing that it was Kevin who was knocking you quickly opened the door and made your way back to your room, “well, hello to you, too, y/n/n. You really know how to make visitors welcome.”
Kevin quietly followed behind you to your room, quickly taking notice of how you had decided to empty out your gym bag on your bed and lay all your leos out on your bed, “so, how was practice this morning?” Kevin asked, softly.
“It was practice,” you said, grabbing your hairspray from your bathroom.
“Scale of 1-10?”
“3.25.”
“That’s specific?”
“Well, some good things happened and some didn’t so, there we go,” you grabbed your garment bag out of your closet.
“Did you do the dismounts?” Kevin asked, watching as you visibly tensed.
“No and Marcus is making me do my stupid back up dismount because I can’t do the twisting dismount. And now Kathryn is going to do the dismount, and get it named after her, and she’ll have that over me. Plus, everything with Joel is kinda up in the air right now and I don’t know what to do about that one.”
“What happened with you and Beezer? Are you just going to waltz around the issue or are you going to tell me what happened? It stays between us, but if it’s something I need to beat up Beezer for, just ask nicely.”
You rolled your eyes, but you knew you would have to talk it out sooner or later, “uh, after you guys left, me and Bee had a discussion about what we were, and I said we were just friends.”
“Oh, damn. Shit, I mean, wow, truly remarkable.”
“Shut the fuck up, Kev. I get it.”
“Ok, so I’m going to assume that Beezer wasn’t too happy about it?” Kevin asked, earning a nod from you, “so, you just didn’t talk it out like civilized individuals or am I missing something here?”
“Well, more than just the flirting happened, nothing super crazy, but yeah, so he was very - understandably - upset by me saying we were just friends.”
“And again, you guys didn’t just talk it out like civilized individuals?”
“No, he was gone before I could talk to him.”
“Don’t you kids have phones or something? You guys aren’t going to figure shit out if you don’t talk to each other?” Kevin asked, like it was the most obvious option.
“Yeah, I know, but like,” you sighed, “yikes. You know. What the fuck do I say ‘hey Bee, I was actually just joking when I said that. Haha, you’ve been pranked’ not exactly a smooth recovery, you know.”
“You’re helpless. I think you should focus on the competition that you have tomorrow and worry about the bigger problems later. C’mon, I’ll help you pack,” and once he knew that you were all ready for your competition, he made his way back to his apartment.
Stepping out of the arena’s locker room stall, you made your way over to the sink to do your hair and makeup. You stayed by the sink, considering that Nicole was still changing, when the one person you didn’t want to talk to stood right beside you, “hey y/n. How’s that dismount coming?”
“How’s your mom coming?” you replied, plastering a fake smile on your face.
“Awe, wow, that’s real mature of you. I know you’re just upset that your beloved plan of getting your dismount named after you isn’t going the way you wanted and to think if you didn’t get hurt, you’d have it named after you already. Hm, how devastating.”
“Ooh, Kathryn, impressive vocabulary. I’m glad to see you finally opened that thesaurus I got you.”
“Look, y/n, I know that you’re just projecting negative emotions because you’re upset that I compete on beam before you do. It’s okay, we all feel bad sometimes,” Kathryn added.
“Oh, and she’s learned about projecting negative emotions. I’m very impressed.”
“y/n, you’re just mad because everyone knows that you’re burning out and that you shouldn’t have tried to make a comeback after your injury. Get over it or get out of this sport,” she said before walking away.
Staring up at the ceiling to keep whatever emotions you could at bay, you didn’t notice Nicole come up right beside you, “you know what she said wasn’t true, right? You’re proving to everyone just how amazing you are by coming back, please don’t let that bitch get to you.”
“No, but she’s right about the dismount. Right now, I’m not where I need to be and people are noticing. I shouldn’t be here,” you said, finally looking her in the eye.
“y/n. Stop. Seriously, this pity party is not going to work today. You’re going to go out there and kick ass, like you always do. I don’t care if she’s doing the dismount, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Now, shut the fuck up and go out there and prove her and anyone else that doubts you wrong,” she said, “we’re not leaving here until I see a genuine smile on your face.”
Laughing at your best friend, you made your way out to the tunnel for your pre-competition rituals. Eventually, Nolan and Kevin made their way towards you, which did lift your spirits a lot. Nolan gave you your usual pep talk and talked you through all your routines until they called out the announcement for warm up to start.
Starting on vault, you did two of the best vaults you could, you weren’t going to let Kathryn get to you today. When you were warming up on bars, you noticed Kathryn warming up on beam. Taking a deep breath, you tried to ignore the way your heart fell when you saw her land the dismount that you were supposed to be doing.
Attempting once again to ignore her, you started competing your bar routine, making all the release skills that were causing you issues during practice, connecting all your skills, and sticking your dismount; a near perfect routine in your book. The smile that had grown on your face, slowly falling as you saw Kathryn start her routine.
Her routine was near flawless, with only slight wobbles in there. You had watched her routine enough times to know when her dismount was coming up, biting at your lip, you tried not to show too much emotion on your face - knowing that the media would just eat it up. But then she landed it.
She landed it. The 3.5 dismount that you had worked your ass off to get, was now named after her. And you had yet to even do the dismount again since your injury.
Your breath hitched as you watched her salute before walking away back to her coaches. “C’mon, y/n. We still have two events to do. Don’t get in your head now,” Michelle said, ushering you towards the beam.
It’s a lot easier said than done to not get in your head about your competitors when in this sport. A sport where the smallest deductions could cost you so much, but right now you just had two routines left.
Working up the courage to get on the beam and do your routine, you fell twice and somehow stepped out on the double back dismount. You didn’t miss the way that Marcus’ face fell slightly, but he knew you would be fine on floor.
He knew you well enough to know that with floor being your strongest event, there were only a few ways that you would get deductions, he knew that you could come back from what had happened on beam. Sticking all your tumbling passes and doing perfect leaps and jumps, you were able to make up for the score on beam and qualify for Championships next month.
You avoided looking at Kathryn, knowing she would just send a smirk your way, you accepted the awards that you got and made your way back to the locker room. Getting 1st on floor, vault, bars, and all around, and 3rd on beam, you practically threw the medals that you got on the counter and your hands gripped onto the edge of the sink as you tried to settle your breathing down.
Nicole stood watch at the door to make sure that no one came in until you had calmed down and she also made sure that you didn’t have to deal with media before you got to Kevin. Kevin and Nolan simply took you back to their apartment so that you wouldn’t be alone. Luckily, they understood that you didn’t want to talk right now, so they let you go to the guest room that already had enough clothes in there for you and let you go to sleep.
“You think she’ll be okay?” Nolan asked, grabbing a water bottle from their fridge.
“She just has a lot going on, I think she’ll be okay sooner than later. I did find out what happened at the lake - I can’t share - but I am aware of what happened and they’re just being idiots, that’s all.”
“Makes sense.”
When you woke up the next day, you quickly took note of the pain that you felt in your knee, brushing it off as general soreness, you made your way towards the kitchen.
“Hey y/n/n, Kev is on his way back from getting breakfast, so if you want to stay and join us, you are welcome to,” Nolan’s voice rang from the kitchen.
“Yeah, I will. Thank you,” you replied, softly, taking a seat on one of the barstools.
“You doing ok?” he sighed, “That’s a dumb question. How are you feeling?”
“I’m doing as okay as I can be, you know. I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”
Shortly after, the door opened once more, “I come bearing gifts,” Kevin said.
“I always knew you were good for something,” you replied, earning a fist bump from Nolan. As you stood up from the barstool, the pain in your knee caused you to wince.
“y/n, you good?” Kevin asked.
“Yeah, yeah, I think my knee is just sore or something from yesterday, it’ll be fine.”
“If it gets worse, you better tell me.”
“Yeah, of course, Kev.”
The ‘general soreness’ you felt lasted a few days before Kevin got to the end of his rope, “c’mon, we’re going to see Adrian.”
“Why?”
“Your knee hasn’t gotten any better. That’s not just your knee being sore, something is wrong and it’s obvious. So, let’s go.” Kevin knew that if he didn’t do something that the pain in your knee would only get worse, he knew you would keep pushing it until you absolutely couldn’t. He didn’t want you to have to stop what you loved because you were too stubborn to do anything, so he called Adrian, who immediately told him to bring you in.
“Ah, there’s my superstar,” Adrian said, watching you walk into his office.
“I don’t want to be here, but it’s nice to see you, Adrian,” he simply rolled his eyes in response.
“Yeah, Ms. Stubborn, we know you didn’t want to be here, but it’s the smart thing to do. I know you’re not used to making decisions like that, but here you are,” Adrian said, simply pointing to the bench, knowing that you had been here enough times to know what to do.
You watched as Adrian’s face changed as he examined your knee, “have you been working the landing on events constantly? Yes or no?”
“I mean, recently, kinda. I did a lot of reps for bars and vault, that’s kinda the only landings I was doing, why?”
“I hate to say it, but it looks like the running and landings are putting too much pressure on the knee right now. Have you worn tape or your brace recently?”
“No, but I thought it was fine.”
“Yeah, of course you thought it was fine. How much have landings been hurting your knee recently, 1-10?”
“5?”
“y/n, I know when you’re lying, today is not the day.”
“7 to 9, it just depends.”
Adrian took a deep breath, “alright, well, I need you to wear your brace almost 24/7 for the next 14 days-”
“Adrian, no, I can’t do that.”
“You can and you will, babes. I’m not taking suggestions right now. 2 weeks with the brace and crutches, nothing other than ab and upper body workouts, and no hard landings. Then, another 2 weeks, with athletic tape and still no hard landings. If you do bars, no dismount, definitely no tumbling, you can do leaps and jumps, but keep it to a minimum.”
“Adrian, what? No, you don’t understand, I-”
“You want to go to the Olympics, yes?” you nodded, “well, with the amount of pressure and amount you’re overworking it, your knee won’t be ready unless you take a break now. And you have to actually listen to me this time. I want you to succeed, but you have to listen in order to be able to.”
“I’m telling Kevin, too, so that way you actually have to do it. But once those 4 weeks are up, we’ll check and make sure it’s looking good and you should be fine.”
“Adrian, that only gives me like two weeks before Championships and I have to do good during that or I won’t qualify for trials.”
“Love, sometimes you just have to trust things to work out, okay? It’ll all work out, I promise you. Now, how’s lover boy?”
“You can’t just change topics like that, dude. I’m still mad about the other thing,” you shot a glare at the man in front of you.
“You’re fine. Chill out, sweetheart. Now, how is lover boy?”
“They aren’t talking,” Kevin’s voice echoed as he came into the office.
“Why?” Adrian asked, turning to you.
“Stuff happened and I bailed,” Adrian rolled his eyes at you once again.
“Dumbass. You’re a dumbass. He’s good for you or he seems good for you, at least from what I’ve heard.”
“Yeah, he is. He’s great,” you smiled.
“So then, what the fuck are you doing here? Go talk to him, text him, call him, something. You have a phone, use it.”
“It’s not-”
“It’s only not that easy because you’re making it 100 times more difficult. Communicate. Go get your man and stop being stupid. Now, listen to what I said about both things, enjoy your time with the crutches again, and go talk to your boy.”
57 notes · View notes
springday-aus · 3 years
Text
Hockey Player!AU with Mark
moodboard link
Group: NCT
Member: Mark Lee 
Genre: fluff, romance 
Additionally: college!au
Type: Bulletpoint AU
Word Count: approx. 2.3k 
→ Inspired by NCT U’s 90s Love! 
I’m gonna be completely honest: I don’t know shit about hockey so apologizes in advance
Mark is a left-winger for the team
he plays for his university’s team and they’re actually pretty good
within the three-ish years that he’s been on the team, they’ve won a couple of championships
it’s not really hard considering that Mark takes everything too seriously
(at least that’s what Donghyuk says during practice all the time)
Johnny somewhere: “okay Mark”
Yuta: “let’s not overreact Mark”
Taeyong: “leave my son alone”
Mark: “I’m a grown adult…”
Taeyong: “shhh”
since he used to play for his team back in hometown, he naturally joined the university’s team
he was a natural and everyone easily took a liking to him
especially since now they have someone to make fun of constantly
by they, I literally mean just Donghyuk
I’m just kidding—it’s all in good fun because it just shows how close they are
Mark is just that one college kid that’s still cute even when he’s not a freshman anymore
the other team members still treat him like the youngest even though YangYang and Sungchan are like
👁👄👁 hello ?
speaking of which, their teamwork is incredible and it shows through their games
and, on the rare occasions that they don’t win, they still have dinner together afterwards
well, it’s less of dinner and more of drinks and strategizing what went wrong—which are kind of depressing but it’s fine
at least that’s what Sicheng says as captain, but it sounds like denial
anyways, even though Ten is the co-captain, they all work to make their play plan together
they all contribute ideas, especially since they’ve been in the positions they’ve been in for, like, ever
anyways
again, Mark is like really good
so you know he got that bombass scholarship
and that’s what really pushes him to do well bc let’s be real, college is e x p e n s i v e
he also likes ice skating in general because the cold reminds him of home
so he’s one of those hockey players that also likes figures skaters and it’s funny because he gets so many weird looks from the others
(altho, Jeno goes with him sometimes bc he’s nice)
back to what I was saying tho: Mark is really good
despite his personality, he’s a bit more aggressive on the ice—considering he’s a forward
Donghyuk, the right-winger: he makes sense
there’s the passive aggressive-ness
Mark? who knew he had some strength to him when it’s actually applied
seriously, have you seen his thighs?
speaking of which, the team serves a lot of looks
which means a lot of speculators that show up to the games
which means lots of fans
people typically come for the looks, but then stay for the games bc the team is very underrated
they actually win games and everything but like
advertising for the team? nonexistent
@stupid college funding distributions that focus on mediocre sports like football
so, where do you fall into the mix? you’re an og stan
you’ve been in the stands since you entered university
it didn’t even have anything to do with the members (altho, it is nice to have some eye-candy)
you just……… like hockey
even if you don’t understand much about it
it’s just… interesting to watch
so, whenever the season rolls around, you go to the games
but to say over the years that you didn’t develop a particular attachment to our boy Mark…… is an absolute lie
so, do you have a crush on Mark?
yes
but also like
who doesn’t have a crush on Mark
this man is literally so talented and nice and adorable and he just makes you want to take care of him all the time and ugh
one of your friends went to a game with you and literally was just like “oh he’s cute”
You: “we know”
he’s def one of those guys who everyone has or has had a crush on at some point
and you are no different
the thing is that you are fine with not ever confessing because you’re happy with just being on the sidelines because you’ve. literally. just been on the sidelines…
the idea of confessing feels ridiculous bc realistically, what would you mean to some guy that literally e v e r y person has a crush on?
the thing is though is that Mark knows you
at least, he knows of your presence
if he didn’t, it would be embarrassing considering that you come to every game - he’s got loyalty unless some people
Ten: “who?”
Mark: “dude”
Donghyuk: “is this another one of your imaginary friends?”
Mark: “I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE”
jkjk , they all kind of know you, considering you’re one of the more consistent faces since they’ve been playing in these games (primarily the home ones bc free tickets for students but still)
you also don’t paint your face or anything—you just show up in your university sweatshirt with a couple of those foam light up sticks or something
again, not that wild like signs with his face or anything
you’re just…. a spectator
but yeah, Mark knows of you as a loyal fan ?
who also is kind of cute when you’re cheering for them
I want to emphasize that you have gone to, like, nearly every game, but the main ones you’ve *always* have gone to are the home games bc they’re more convenient
or the final games bc hello
they’re the finals, why the fuck would you miss the finals
I emphasize this because, when you’ve suddenly gone down with the flu, you literally cannot make it to the finals championship game
you thought: no one was gonna notice your absence anyways
haha, you thought
anyways
your friends figured you were sick from the beginning and were like, my friend, it’s flu season, stay away from me and pls stay at home
(wash your hands kids, it’s still covid season)
so you didn’t go and stayed in and binged watched iCarly or something
meanwhile, during the game, Mark was like
where... where are you???
so homeboy is highkey distracted and lowkey worried bc did you die???
(you were dying bc of your clogged nostrils, but otherwise, no)
they somehow managed to win by a couple of points so it was kind of fine
but the teasing was increased by all of Mark’s friends
i.e. Johnny, Donghyuk, Jaehyun, and everyone else
come on, it’s so easy to make fun of him
but like he doesn’t care about any of it bc he was worried about you
which got him thinking
why is he worried about someone whose name he doesn’t even know? is there something more? why is there something more? he literally doesn’t know you? except that you come to the games and you’re really cute cheering him on? what is this?
you know, ✨just Mark things✨
this bothered him for quite a bit more than he liked to admit
and it’s about a couple of days later
things are normal and you don’t feel like everything is dripping out of your nose
until you’re walking through campus from your class
and there’s some footsteps running from behind you that makes you coil up into a semi-standing ball bc you thought a bunch of frat boys were just excited or some shit
but then the footsteps stop at you and you’re standing there, wide-eyed
in front of an out of breath Mark
he was walking out of his class with Jaemin and he spotted you from across the quad
and immediately ran to you
Jaemin: I was talking but okay
this isn’t about you Jaemin
anyways
Mark is in front of you, panting and you’re just like sir?
You: “how are you out of breath? aren’t you an athlete?”
Mark: “oh my God, you’re just like Donghyuk”
you give him a bit of time (and some water bc he seemed like he needed it)
and once he’s caught his breath, he stands up and blurts it out
Mark: “what happened to you during the championship?”
You: “....................... what?”
seeing you blink at him confused, he can feel his ears reddening when he’s realized the situation he’s put himself into
Mark: “um, I just”
Mark: “I noticed that you weren’t at the game”
You: still confused bc how does he know about you
You: “huh?”
Mark: oh my God this is the wrong person, want to die
Mark: “you know what, I have the wrong person, I’m just gonna bounce I am so sorry—”
he starts backing up, but you aren’t letting him escape
You: “whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa, hold up hold up”
You: “I didn’t even know that you knew that I knew you”
You: “wait, did you run here just to ask me that?”
Mark is full on flushed at this point bc of all the questions and realizations and it’s all crashing down on him all too soon
and now you have this mischievous look in your eyes that remind him of Ten when he’s clowning Doyoung and he feels like he’s made a mistake
a good mistake but still a mistake
You: “is it?”
Mark: “well, you like, show up to all of our games and you didn’t go to the finals so I didn’t know if anything happened”
You: “oh, I got sick and I figured I shouldn’t be going into giant crowds while having my insides die internally”
You: “but, I did hear from my friends, congrats btw”
Mark: “thanks”
Mark: “are you feeling better tho?”
You: “yeah, but like, my throat is still kind of shitty”
Mark: “oh, if you want, I have a couple of friends who might be able to cook something up for your throat”
Mark: “I’d offer to make something, but Kun doesn’t let me in the kitchen anymore after finding out about the egg incident”
You: “the egg incident?”
Mark: “I can’t cook, like. at all.”
You: “I think I’m good, I was just gonna go get some tea to make it less scratchy or something”
Mark: “I can walk you?”
You: “sure”
so you two go to a cafe or something for you to get some warm tea and you two end up talking and you get to know each other a bit
and then you end up trading numbers and you make some time together
since Mark doesn’t have to go to practice until the next season, his time has opened up considerably
sometimes you study together
other times, you go check out some other places nearby campus
(eventually, you did get to try Taeyong, Jaehyun, and Kun’s food, to which there was no turning back at that point bc they make the best kind of food—free)
you’re basically dating at this point and his friends know you as his significant other so
Chenle: “is (Y/N) gonna be here?”
Mark: “no? it’s our movie night”
Donghyuk: “aren’t you dating tho?”
Mark: “what”
he told you he took it casually and cool, but considering how red his ears were getting when he told you………………. cute
Mark: “c-can you believe they thought we were dating?”
You: “is that not what we’re doing?”
Mark: “what?”
you both established your relationship after that and Mark got a lot more shy and it’s super adorable bc it makes you wanna take care of him and ugh
he’s precious okay
also cut to him trying to ask the other guys for advice, but then he gets embarrassed as Johnny and Ten tries to educate him about love
or how Lucas gives him cheesy lines to use on you
these boys are having a field day and Xiaojun and Doyoung have never felt more at peace
anyways
def the nervous type that he can’t even hold your hand and keeps asking if it’s okay
so you’re the top of this relationship bc he’s a shy lil boy
after a bit tho, he gets more comfortable and it’s great
he’ll get teased often right? when it happens in front of you, he just runs to you with a whine of your name and buries his face into your neck
and you end up yelling at someone
it’s cute tho
bc they def see you both as an adorable couple
when the hockey season starts rolling around again, you def spend more time at the practices—whether you’re there to watch, do your homework, or just help motivate him to play better
you started dressing up more too, especially since he gave you his jersey so you started wearing them to the games (and also face paint bc Jungwoo had some extra for an unknown reason)
and you make Mark Lee signs and it’s super cute
Sicheng also invites you to the afterparty dinners bc why not
also, remember that thing I said about watching figure skaters?
you two watch the Olympics for that and it’s like tradition now for you two to settle in front of the tv with snacks and watch them skate
so, since he’s an athlete, he has to be careful with his body bc then like scholarship will go poof
that means some of your dates might be physically limited
like he’ll go mini-golfing with you, but he can’t go to like self-defense classes with you
he’ll go to support you but if his foot gets busted, his coach and the rest of the team will be on his ass and he feels a bit bad about it but like you understand
considering that you absolutely refuse to get on the ice bc hockey is hard people
speaking of hockey, you told Mark he’s hot when he plays and he was FLUSHED
bc like the look in his eyes and the way he carries himself…. reminds you of when you’re doing some more………...steamy activities
anyways, stan Mark Lee
he’s a sweetheart who works so hard and you’re there to provide him with lots of love
61 notes · View notes
cutelittlestar · 4 years
Text
Steal My Girl || Peter Parker x Reader {Smut!}
Summary: While on a trip, Peter plans to confess his feelings to you but everything is ruined by a boy who also has his eyes on you. Once Peter finally unveils the truth, things get steamy... 
Word Count: 5.7k
Warning(s): fem!reader, fluff, slight angst, SMUT, language, MATURE CONTENT, 18+ (you & Peter are 18)
A/N: lordtt.....plz forgive me, for I have sinned. This has been secretly written in my notebook for quite some time, and I was always too scared to post it online. Now, I say fuck it. As always, I love you all and I hope you enjoy!!!😘💕❤️ 
For those of you who may be wondering about my other series, Maniac and Lone Wolf, it may be a while bc of college and work (being an adult SUCKS). But, I promise I’ll try and upload the chapters whenever I can! 
*gif is not mine!
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Once again, Midtown’s decathlon team was given another opportunity to travel to a different state for a tournament, where they would compete with other high schools for the national title. Peter was extremely excited because this was your first trip with the team, and he wanted you to have an unforgettable experience; that’s why Peter created a meticulous yet worthy plan that would help him accomplish his goal. His plan consisted of various things, such as taking you to popular locations, exploring the city late at night -despite curfew- and doing spontaneous activities he knew you would love. Most importantly, Peter made this plan in hopes that he could confess his feelings for you. He’s had a crush on you since freshman year, but he was always terrified to tell you the truth. Now that senior year was almost over, the pain of withholding his raw emotions was too unbearable to handle. It’s now or never, Peter thought to himself, and for a while, Peter believed his plan was going to work. 
But, he was wrong. 
Peter’s plan began to crumble the minute that Daniel Miller entered the picture. Daniel was everything that Peter wasn’t - he was perfect, a star-athlete, tall,  and he had an impeccable character that made him lovable. Every girl had a huge crush on him, and they had every right to find him appealing. In the beginning, Peter didn’t really seem to care about Daniel, but now that Daniel was purposefully sabotaging Peter’s plan, Peter was beyond angry. Anytime that Peter was with you, you were whisked away by Daniel for various idiotic reasons. 
The first time Daniel took you away, he lied and asked if you could switch seats with Flash because he was ‘severely’ allergic to peanut butter crackers. You, of course, offered to change seats, completely unaware that Daniel was luring you towards him. Peter felt his blood boil; he clearly remembers seeing Daniel eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup a couple of days before. The second time Daniel took you away, you were sitting next to Peter in the dining hall at the hotel before Daniel ‘accidentally’ spilled hot coffee all over his body; once again, you fell for his trap, and you offered to help him, despite Daniel being eighteen years old. The third time Daniel took you away, you were watching a movie with Peter; Daniel somehow convinced you that he needed your help and asked if you could quiz him for the upcoming competition, to which you agreed. Every single time that Daniel succeeded, he would give Peter a relish sneer, mentally gloating that he had successfully stolen you away. 
Although Peter absolutely hated Daniel with every fiber of his soul, It’s not like Peter was going to force you to stop talking to Daniel - that would be a dick move - but if Peter had the chance to throw Daniel off a building, he would happily do it in a heartbeat. However, as you were spending more time with Daniel instead of Peter, Peter’s hope was gradually disappearing. 
Now, Peter morosely sat in his hotel room alone, imagining Daniel constantly flirting with you the whole afternoon and evening. By making up a quick lie and telling Mr. Harrington that he had a stomach ache, Peter was able to sulk in his room while the rest of the group was exploring tourist areas in the city before the big competition. Peter had come to believe that Daniel had won and decided there was no point of trying to win you back; there was no way that you would ever love him, Peter thought to himself, not when Daniel is still around.
Meanwhile, as Peter was sadly believing that Daniel was now professing his love for you, you were sitting on your bed, your room right in front of Peter’s door, completely unaware that Peter stayed behind as well. You, too, lied and said that you were feeling sick, but in reality, you wanted some time away from Daniel. He was becoming extremely annoying, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth. While you assumed that you were going to have some peace and quiet, that dream was utterly destroyed. As usual, Flash opened his big mouth and told Daniel that you were in your hotel room, so now, you were sitting inches away from Daniel as a movie was playing in the background. You pretended to listen to the movie, but you constantly thought about Peter, wondering how he was doing. You felt horrible for leaving Peter alone so many times, and you wanted to apologize but you never had the chance to. 
“You okay, Y/N?” Daniel confronted, noticing how your eyes were not watching the screen. You rapidly blinked, turning to look at Daniel before giving him a half-hearted smile. 
“‘M fine, just thinking about Peter,” you honestly confessed, hoping that Daniel would further question you, wondering why you were so worried about Peter. Instead, he said the exact opposite. 
“Meh, don’t worry about Parker right now. It’s just you and me, pretty girl.” You let out a frustrated sigh, to which Daniel didn’t pick up, and you mentally rolled your eyes, hating how Daniel always changed the topic whenever you would bring up Peter. If you knew that Daniel had this fuckboy persona, you never would’ve given him the time of day. You remained quiet and glued your eyes to the screen, hoping that Daniel wouldn’t notice your disinterest in the horrible movie he picked out. You faked a laugh as something ‘hilarious’ showed up on the screen, but then you felt your phone vibrate on the nightstand. You leaned towards the furniture, detaching your phone from the charger and unlocking your phone. MJ sent you a text; you assumed she sent you a photo of where they were at, but when you read the message, a frown settled on your face. 
Peter is in his room right now, very upset. Do you think you could check up on him? 
Without needing any more information, you turned off your phone and jumped out of the bed. You turned to look at Daniel, who paused the movie, and you gave him an apologetic look, hoping that he would understand what you were about to tell him. 
“I’m sorry, Danny, but I just got a text from MJ. Peter is upset and I have to make sure he’s okay.” 
“What?” Daniel responded in an annoying tone, hating that Peter, once again, was ruining his plans. “Are you serious right now? We’re watching a movie, you can’t just leave me here.” 
You glared at Daniel, deeply despising the way he spoke to you, but you bit your lip, not wanting to argue back and forth. You slipped on your shoes and proceeded to ignore Daniel’s snarky attitude. 
‘Daniel, I don’t get why you’re so mad. I’m checking up on one of my closest friends, what’s your fucking deal?” you snapped at him, causing Daniel to lean back in shock. 
“My deal?” Daniel angrily repeated. “My deal is that you’re paying too much attention to him. We’re having a great time together, I just hate that Peter is getting in the way of that.” 
You rolled your eyes, unable to believe that Daniel actually thought you were having a great time. The boy merely spoke about himself and nothing else, and you found him extremely boring. You let out a laugh, to which he didn’t like, but you didn’t give a fuck anymore. “Danny,” you started, “don’t try to control what I do. I’m leaving and that’s final.” 
You angrily grabbed your phone, ignoring his protests and pleads, but just as you were about to open the door, the idiot had the nerve to open his mouth once again. 
“Whatever, go run to Peter. But, I promise you this, he can’t show you a good time like how I can.” 
You remained still, feeling your blood boil due to his vulgar comment. You were trying your hardest not to chuck your phone at his face, but instead, you turned around and gave him a smirk.
“I doubt that, Danny. From what I heard, you barely have four inches,” you retorted before opening the door and slamming it shut. 
You mumbled curse words under your breath, wishing you could’ve smacked Daniel across the face, but Peter was your top priority. In a quick second, you were now standing in front of Peter’s door, and you anxiously knocked on it. Peter was pulled out of his thoughts once he heard someone knocking, and he got up off of his bed and walked towards the door, opening it halfway. To say the least, Peter was surprised to see you standing right in front of him, and he wondered why you were back so early. Judging by your irritated face, Peter knew something was on your mind and you wanted to get it off of your chest, so he moved to the side and fully opened the door. You walked inside, continuing to spew out profanities, but then you closed your mouth, remembering why you were here.
“Peter, is something bothering you? MJ told me you were upset,” you said, causing Peter to stiffen. Peter hoped that MJ didn’t tell you the real reason he was upset, but he remained quiet, wanting you to continue speaking. You walked towards the bed and plopped down, patting the empty spot next to you, signaling Peter to sit down. Peter obeyed, and you instantly leaned into him, laying your head on his shoulder. 
“You can tell me anything, Peter. I’ll listen,” you remarked, hoping that Peter would tell you the truth. You hated seeing him sad, and you were willing to do anything to make him happy. Peter let out a big breath, slowly working up the courage to say what’s been on his chest for the past four years. You lifted your head, shifting your body so that you were now fully facing him. You watched as a shaky Peter was fidgeting with his fingers. 
“You want me to be completely honest?” Peter timidly whispered, deciding that now was finally the time to say he’s had a crush on you since the moment he laid eyes on you. You nodded your head, eager to know the cause of his sorrows.
“Yes, of course, Pete,” you replied, getting anxious by the second as Peter was stalling time. Peter bit his lower lip, not knowing how to perfectly form his emotions into words, but when he opened his mouth, everything came spewing out. 
“I’ve been in love with you since the day I saw you, and I made this very tedious plan to confess my feelings for you while we were on this trip - but then fucking Daniel ruined everything - and that’s the reason why I’ve been so moody. I was going to take you to various places in the city - and I even bought you a bracelet with our initials on it - but now that I’m saying it out loud, that’s kinda creepy and I’m sorry, and I’m rapidly speaking so I can run away from the inevitable - which is you turning me down because you don’t feel the same way.” Peter heavily panted as he finished his rant, but there was a long moment of silence as you stared at Peter with wide eyes. 
“No fucking way,” you breathed out, unable to register what Peter was saying. All of this time, you thought that Peter didn’t like you, but when he finally admitted his feelings, you were completely taken aback. Holy fuck, you thought to yourself, Peter loves me. Peter loves me.  
“I know, I know-,” Peter sorrowfully replied, rubbing his forehead, hurt that you were ridiculing him because of the way he felt about you. “It’s hilarious that a guy like me thinks that he can get with a girl like you. Hahaha, but it hurts, Y/N, I have feelings an-”
“Peter,” you interrupted him, moving closer until you were inches away from his face. Peter closed his mouth, feeling his heart rapidly beat in his chest as he began to cherish every feature on your face; his heart felt like it was going to explode due to the lack of distance, but you didn’t seem to mind. In fact, you loved the effect you were having on Peter. You delicately placed your hands on his chest, and you discreetly remained calm, despite you being able to feel how strong his chest was.
“I love you, too” you heartedly declared, anxiously smiling as you waited for Peter to respond. You watched the corner of his lips curve upwards, and you lovingly stared into Peter’s eyes, noticing the crinkles around his eyes become more prominent when he grinned, and you absolutely adored it. He was like a ray of sunshine, his smile was more than his mouth; it was his voice and his words, and it was utterly beautiful. 
His eyes briefly widened, but then they became soft as he now watched your cheeks turn pink like a spring tulip. 
“Are you like, serious? You’re not messing with me right now?” Peter managed to say, unable to accept that the girl of his dreams just told him she liked him. You let out a slight chuckle, running your hands up until they peacefully rested on Peter’s neck; you slowly leaned your forehead against his, deeply staring into his eyes.
“I’m a hundred percent serious, Peter. I love you so fucking much.” You drew Peter towards you as much as you could, and in the first second, he inhaled your enticing scent. It smelled pleasant, light, and refreshing - there was a slight hint of fruitiness, but it wasn’t overbearing nor masking your natural scent. The next second, your lips are on Peter’s, and he openly invites you into his arms. For such a long time, Peter kisses you with such delicately and tenderness, and you didn’t want to pull away. This felt right, and you knew that Peter felt the same way. Peter was your perfect guy, and you were going to make sure he knew that every single day of his life until the day he dies. 
Peter departs his lips from yours, despite you moaning for more, and he takes a moment to lovingly stares into your eyes, gingerly holding your face in his hands. Your eyes sparkled with delight, and if Peter could, he would freeze this moment forever, never wanting to move forward. Although Peter’s plans didn’t go the way he wanted it to, the outcome was, nonetheless, just as beautiful as he imagined it. 
“Kiss me again, Peter,” you quietly demanded. 
Peter leans into your touch, finding your lips once again - but then something inside of you changes. The soft tender kiss turned into a vicious, needy make-out session. The sweet, timid, and friendly girl Peter used to know was completely gone and was now replaced with a rough and aroused one. You gradually climbed onto Peter’s lap as you hungrily kissed him, and you feel a patch of wetness drip onto your underwear as your tongues fight for dominance. Peter is so enticed on kissing you that he fails to notice one of your hands firmly grasping his cock through his pants. The sudden touch causes Peter to ripple out a low groan, and you smile into the kiss, content that you were able to make Peter wither from just a single touch. 
You repeat the same noise at a higher pitch as Peter roughly rubs your ass, disconnecting his lips before attacking your neck. You throw your head back in utter bliss, granting Peter more access, and you feel a bruise form as Peter continues to suck on a particular spot. While one hand is stroking Peter’s enormous cock, the other hand snakes its way under his shirt; another moan comes out of Peter’s mouth, and you loved hearing it. 
In a blink of an eye, Peter’s shirt is on the ground, and yours follows as well. You push him down against the bed, and you seductively crawl towards him until you’re straddling his waist. 
Your lips reconnect once more, and Peter’s fingers manage to unclasp your bra, which he recklessly tosses to the ground. “Peter,” you moaned in delight as his hands raked over your exposed chest, firmly gripping your breasts. Just as Peter is about to place his lips on your sensitive bud, a loud banging on the door prevents him from doing so. You let out a gasp, frightened at the sound, but then you hear the voice yell. 
“Open up, Parker!” Daniel angrily announced, continuing to slam his fist on the door. “I know Y/N is in there! We need to talk.” You and Peter stare at each other, not knowing what to do, but then you vividly remembered Daniel’s words. I promise you this, he can’t show you a good time like how I can. A smirk grows on your face as you think of an elaborate and mischievous plan. Oh, you were going to prove him wrong. As Daniel kept screaming, demanding you to come out of the room, Peter became exasperated, completely annoyed that Daniel was ruining your intimate moment. Finally, Peter lets out an irritated groan, but just as he’s about to move you to the side so he can answer the door, you place your hands on his chest. 
“Don’t move, I have an idea,” you say with a sly smug, but before Peter can ask you what your plan was, you let out a loud, compelling, and pornographic moan.
“Oh, God! Peter!” you yelled in pure ecstasy, grabbing your breasts in the process to keep you riled up. “Don’t stop! Keep going, baby.” The banging immediately stops, and you mentally give yourself a pat on the back, knowing that on the other side of the door, Daniel was extremely jealous, embarrassed, and frustrated. Peter’s eyes widen in shock at your reaction, but he’s ultimately aroused once more, loving how you wanted Daniel to know that he was fulfilling your sexual desires. 
Peter disregards Daniel’s presence and attaches his lips on your nipple, causing you to loudly sigh in bliss as Peter sucks on it. The fake moans you were forming were now real, and you held Peter’s head in your chest as his finger roughly rubbed the other nipple. 
“Fuck-” you loudly whined, unintentionally rubbing yourself on Peter’s crotch. A hefty groan comes out of Peter, and he detaches his lips from your breasts, easily lifting you up with one hand while the other begins to undo his pants. You mirror his actions, doing the same to your pants, tossing your bottoms and underwear to the floor. Peter wiggled out of his pants and boxers, his cocks twitching and springing up as your exposed core slowly rubbed itself on his shaft. You can already see the pre-cum forming at the head, and you eagerly lick your lips, wanting to wrap your mouth around his member. 
Suddenly, Peter grabs you by the waist and flips you over so that he’s on top. As you expect him to unleash all of his strength onto you, Peter delicately kisses you, as if he’s afraid he’ll break you. While his touches send shivers down your spine, melting your heart, you’re impatient, wanting more. You softly push him away, and for a moment, Peter thinks he’s done something wrong. 
“What is it? Did I do something wrong?” Peter anxiously asked, scanning your face to see if he could detect what was bothering you. You bit your lip in anticipation, petrified that if you said what was on your mind, it would ruin the mood. A million reasons swirled around his mind and he feared that he’s gone too far; he assumed you didn’t feel comfortable anymore to continue your sexual activities. What Peter failed to realize was that you didn’t regret anything. “Tell me, baby,” Peter reassured you, placing light kisses on your face and neck. You cave into his touch, and you feel your muscles relax.  
“I want you,” you started off, raking your fingers across his chest. “But, I need rough sex, Peter,” you needily whimpered, biting your lip in the process, causing Peter to lean back, his eyes widening. “Please, fuck me as hard as you can. I want Daniel to know how good you’re fucking me.”
You intently stare at Peter’s face, scared that he was going to say no, but then you notice his pupils dilate, his eyes darkening as he listened to your words. The mere mention of Daniel’s name caused Peter to shake from rage, but then something switched inside of Peter, and a huge grin spread across his face. 
“Damn Y/N,” Peter replies, biting his lower lip. A small moan escapes Peter’s mouth as he realizes what you’re asking of him, and he absolutely loves it; Peter feels his cock twitch from excitement as he repeated your words over and over again in his mind, and it drove him insane. Peter couldn’t believe it; here he was, thinking you were going to be an innocent girl, but oh no - he was wrong, and boy did he love it. Peter bit his lip in hunger, his eyes taking in your body once more. The thought of mercilessly pounding into you without anything stopping him caused more pre-cum to leak out of his cock, and Peter was more than prepared to grant you what so deeply desired.
“As you wish, darling.” Peter peppered kisses against the nape of your neck and before you know it, Peter firmly grabs you by the neck. You let out a soft gasp at his sudden change of behavior, but then a whimper escapes out of you as Peter crashes his lips onto yours, and you allow him to take full control. 
“Fuck Peter.” You moan as you buck your hips up, needing him to be inside of you. You were becoming impatient, but Peter darkly chuckled as he brought his face close to yours.
“Oh no baby,” he scolds, a smirk forming on his face. “I’ll be inside you when I want to. You understand?” You feel as if you’re about to cry out in pain and pleasure, but you’re willing to do anything for Peter. You frantically nod your head, hoping it will satisfy Peter. 
Peter’s grip got tighter, unhappy that you didn’t verbally respond. “You better speak right now or I swear, I’ll tease you until you’re a crying mess.” 
“Yes, Peter. I understand, baby,” you affirmed as Peter hummed in satisfaction. Peter slowly released the tight grip he had before rummaging through the nightstand. Peter pulls out a condom but before you even have time to ask him where he got it, he tears it open with his mouth and puts on the safety. Without any warning or hesitation, Peter roughly turns you around, your chest pressed down against the bed. You immediately understand what he wants, and you quickly get on all fours, laying your head on the pillow and perking your ass up, giving Peter a complete view of your core. Peter groans at the sight as you flirtatiously wiggle your bare ass in front of him, and he leans back to admire the view for a short moment. 
“Look at you,” he seductively whispered, causing you to become even more aroused as his words drip out of his mouth like sweet honey. “All ready for me, such a good girl.” 
Suddenly, Peter slams into you, and you let out the loudest noise you’ve ever made, finally satisfied that he was inside you. However, Peter doesn’t move, allowing you to adjust to his large size, but you cry out in frustration, wanting him to pound into you mercilessly. You attempt to move, but Peter roughly grabs your hips, refraining you. Peter lets out a heavy exhalation, absolutely melting into you as he felt your pretty folds swallow him up. It was majestic. 
“Shit,” Peter mutters, “You’re so tight, Y/N.” Peter slowly begins to move, but in an instant, his pace starts to accelerate. Peter pounds into your cunt; it was ruthless, exhilarating, and animalistic, and you rolled your eyes in utter pleasure, your mouth hanging open.
You’re a writhing mess, spelling out incoherent words as Peter tightly held onto your waist and slammed into you. You knew there was going to be bruises due to his death grip, but the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of you made you totally forget. The slight pain was gone as pleasure overstimulated your body, and you arched your back in response, repeating Peter’s name. You clamped onto the sheets for dear life, your head laying on the pillows, your sounds being muffled. The sound of skin slapping echoed around the room, and Peter gasps and curses, becoming a panting mess as he doesn’t intend on stopping anytime soon.
Peter grabs a handful of your hair, forcing your head off the pillow, and your moans become louder. “That’s right,” Peter reassured, releasing your hair and moving his hand towards your neck. “Scream for me, baby. Let him know who’s fucking you this good.”
“Ah, Peter! Faster, please! Ohh fuck Peter, shit!“ you scream, holding onto his arm for support. 
“Can Daniel fuck you like this?” Peter asked, digging his knees deeper into the bed and moving his hips at a faster rate. Peter’s cock was stretching you out, and you were loving every minute of it. 
“No! Peter -Shit!- only you can! Only you can make me feel like this.” You cry out in pleasure, your hair sticking to your sweaty back and chest. Peter groans in satisfaction, your words encouraging him to move faster.
“Exactly, you’re fucking mine - all mine.” Your walls contract around him at his words, and Peter feels a familiar feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. He detaches himself from you, pulling out for a brief moment before forcing you to lay on your back. Peter’s hand gingerly returns to your waist, savoring this moment. Both of you heavily pant as you stare into each other’s eyes, and Peter leans in, passionately kissing you.
“Shit Peter!” you squeal in shock as you feel his cock enter you without hesitation, your nails clutching onto his contracting muscles. 
“Whose pussy is this?” Peter grunted, fully slamming his cock into your pussy. A high pitch scream comes out of your mouth but you’re unable to form coherent words, completely discombobulated. Peter’s cock perfectly fills you up, and you desperately stare into his eyes, digging your sharp nails in his back. “I said,” Peter angrily repeated, tightly squeezing your neck. “Whose pussy is this?” 
“Yours,” you mewl as you began to feel a knot form in your stomach. 
“That’s right, baby,” Peter asserted, sweat trickling down his face, chest, and back. You closed your eyes, completely aroused by Peter’s rough side, and Peter couldn’t help but trace over your body. He admired the way your breasts bounced as he pounded into you, the way your face contorted in total ecstasy, and the way your hair was a mess - a mess that he made from fucking you so good. 
“I’m so close, baby -Fuck I’m s-so close-“ You feel the knot get stronger. Peter continues to thrust into you, watching as your eyes roll to the back of your head. Peter’s fingers find its way to your clit, rapidly rubbing circles, and you let out a whine. 
“Come for me, darling. Come all over my cock,” Peter coaxed you, his words sending you over the edge. Your hands grip onto his arms for dear life as you let out a throat-ripping moan, your body shaking in the process. Peter comes right after you, his hands resting beside your head, firmly clutching onto the sheets as he, too, let out a groan. Peter’s body collapses onto yours, and your fingers find its way to the curls at the back of his head, burying themselves in his smooth hair. For a while, the room goes silent, and all you can hear are the heavy pants coming out of your mouths. Peter is still inside you, but you don’t mind at all. Peter’s body slowly rises and falls as he comes down from his high, and his hands cradle your face; Peter leaves a sloppy yet passionate kiss, and once again, you melt into his arms. 
You whimper as you feel Peter’s member pull out, and you watch as Peter wobbly stands up to throw away the condom. You intently stare at his chest as he walks back to you, and you notice the fresh scratch marks you left. You feel your cheeks turn red, but Peter gives you a soft smile, mentally telling you that it was fine. Finally, Peter gets back into bed and pulls the covers over your bodies. Your turn to lay on his side, lovingly gazing into his eyes. 
“Wow,” was all you managed to say, “That was fucking amazing.” Peter lets out a chuckle, becoming flustered as you continued to praise him. 
“Do you think Daniel heard?” you wondered, softly rubbing Peter’s chest. 
“I think the whole floor heard,” Peter truthfully responded, scratching the back of his head. You lightly laugh at his comment, your eyes glistening with joy, before pressing a tender kiss on Peter’s lips. Good, you thought to yourself, now everyone knows how great Peter is at sex. 
“Are you okay?” Peter asked. “Did I hurt you?” Your heart melted in your chest as you realized how worried Peter was. You shook your head, easing him. “I’m fine, Peter.” However, the dryness of your throat made it hard for you to speak, and Peter knew that you needed something to drink. 
“Let’s get you something to drink, there’s a vending machine right out the door,” Peter offered, to which you accepted. You were desperately craving water, but you also fancied a small snack to munch on. Peter and you got out of bed -despite how sore your bodies were - and you instinctively bent down and grabbed your underwear and Peter’s shirt. Peter felt an enormous grin grow on his face as he watched you, and you returned the smile when you felt his eyes on you. 
You walked towards the door with nothing but his shirt and underwear whereas Peter was only wearing his boxer shorts; just as you opened the door and stepped out of the room, with Peter right behind you, your eyes landed on Daniel, who, as well, opened your hotel door the exact moment you did. Daniel tightly clutched his book bag, but as he turned around to head down the hallway, his eyes found yours. He deeply stared, noticing how your makeup was smeared, your hair was tangled, and Peter’s chest was covered with scratches and bruises. 
You broke eye-contact, your face expressionless, as you turned to the left, heading towards the vending machine that was feet away from where you stood. 
Peter bitterly glared down Daniel, but then Peter mirrored your movements, leaning against the machine. Peter took notice of how Daniel was glued to the floor, and Peter flared his nostrils, disliking how Daniel continued to gawk at you. 
Yet, Peter didn’t mind that you were only wearing his t-shirt in the middle of the hallway. He knew Daniel had a perfect view of your ass, which was barely covered by the thin fabric, but Peter didn’t care because he knew that the moment you entered his hotel room, he was going to relentlessly fuck you again until you couldn’t walk anymore. As you were still deciding what snack to choose from, Peter slightly turned his head to the side, a smug expression cemented on his face as he watched Daniel awkwardly stand in front of your door. Daniel’s face was bright red, most likely due to his rage of knowing what you and Peter were doing, but Peter remained unbothered, rejoicing that he was able to rile up Daniel with so much ease. 
Peter sent a coy wink to Daniel as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into his arms and placing sloppy kisses on your exposed neck while still holding eye-contact with Daniel. You leaned your head back, exposing more skin for Peter, knowing fully well of what he was trying to do. However, you didn’t object at all. A pool of your wetness started to drip onto your underwear, and you softly let out a discreet moan as Peter’s hand tightly clutched your ass. You loved how Peter was gloating to Daniel, reveling in the fact that you were Peter’s and only his. Your lips curved upwards as you heard Daniel let out a huff of frustration, mumbling incoherent words as he stormed down the hallway.  
Once Daniel was gone, you wrapped your arms around Peter’s neck, your fingers delicately playing with the strands of his hair as a giggle escaped from your lips. You placed a soft kiss on his lips before pulling away.
“You’re such an ass,” you joked, shaking your head as you divert your attention back to the vending machine. Peter shrugged his shoulders, not caring that Daniel was probably going to cry in his room, knowing you slipped away from his fingers. “Asshole deserves it,” Peter blankly declared. You bit your lip in frustration, your eyes glancing at the snacks before Peter rested his head on your shoulder, wrapping his arms around your waist once again.
“C’mon baby,” Peter seductively whispered. His hands discreetly snuck underneath your shirt and his fingers started to play your nipples, slowing pitching them in the process. You let out a soft gasp, shocked that Peter had the courage to do this in the hallway, but then you felt yourself become aroused, ready to start round two. “We still have a few hours before everyone comes back,” Peter murmured, biting your earlobe in the process.
You let out a big sigh. “Screw it,” you said, quickly forgetting about the snack and grabbing Peter’s hand. Peter bit his lip, a devious smirk forming on his lips as you dragged him back to the room, eager to continue your previous activity. 
Despite Peter’s plan not going accordingly, he was’t complaining. To say the least, Peter was fully satisfied, especially after the several rounds he had with you. 
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linopetal · 3 years
Text
lily calla’s.
genre : mostly angst ( ? )
pairings : na jaemin x reader
warnings : mentions of underage drinking , cursing , like one mention of making out , cheating
word count : 1.8k
authors note : oh wow :O this fic is personal in a way 2 me bc its based off of something that happened to me - today in class i saw a sight and it brought up old feelings which inspired this fic. i hope you enjoy it <3 !
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you vividly remember the first time you had met na jaemin. it was your first day in the first grade. you had been so nervous. you were often quite , not outgoing at all , you didnt know how to react when you walked into a classroom full of people. everyone had introduced themselves. but one person stuck out to you , na jaemin. you remember the smile plastered on his face when the bell rang for recess. you ran straight towards the monkey bars. when you looked right behind you , there he was. he slowly walked up towards you with a big welcoming smile on his face, “ hi im jaemin , nice to meet you “ he said. “ oh um im y/n “ you nervously spoke. that had been your first encounter with the black haired boy. and that had been the start of your blossoming love for him.
in the sixth grade , your mom took you to a halloween carnival. you vividly remember the purple and black witch costume your mom made you. you loved that costume. halloween was one of your favorite holidays and times of the year , you always loved trick or treating and getting candy. your mom had decided to take you to a near by carnival. as soon as you got there , you ran to find soonyoung , your best friend since kindergarten. “ y/n do you want to go play go fish ? “ , soonyoung asked you. “ of course “ , you responded. you remember your poor skills of attempting to throw the ping pong ball into the water. after 5 tries you finally decided to give up. but around that time , you saw in the corner if your eye jaemin walking up to you. you had felt butterflies overcrowd your heart. “ hey y/n , i beat i can win you one ! “ he said joyfully. and again you were so happy. you remember him winning you a goldfish. you decided to name it nana after him. you kept that goldfish for years.
in the tenth grade , you remember that you were finally planning to confess. after years of being in denial for how you felt , you finally accepted it was time to tell him. you were mistaken. you and jaemin were only mutual friends , never reaching passed that stage. you didnt talk consistently. so you were taken aback when he randomly walked up to you one day during lunch. you thought that maybe this could be a good time. he looked happy today , maybe you would not receive a bad response. again , you were mistaken. when he finally reached you , he said words that broke you just a little , “ hey y/n ! do you know what somin’s favorite flower is ? i heard you two were friends and i wanted to get her something for her birthday since i kind of like her “ , he said nervously , scratching his head. you gulped , completely overwhelmed with feelings. of course you were happen he liked someone. somin was always kind and funny. how could he not like her ? she was particularly perfect. in this moment , you felt far from even remotely decent. you sighed and looked up with a fake smile , “ of course ! she always told me how she loves lily calla’s ! “ , you said , attempting to try your best at acting fine. beauty....thats what they represent , somin was beautiful. you were decent. she offered more than you could ever. “ thank you y/n “ he smiled and walked off.
you remember how you dreaded the eleventh grade. that year was something you could never forget. jaemin and somin were known as the best couple there was in the school. in class , they always were hand in hand every second and you hated it. it had been so many years yet you still loved him. and how ? you dont even know. but during that school year , you had finally decided something.
you had noticed this boy in your algebra class. his name was lee donghyuck. he was always so funny. he made jokes that could make you laugh endlessly. one day you had decided to ask him out. you knew you werent over jaemin , but you also knew you never had a chance. so you told yourself “ fuck it “ and went for it.
it was an impulsive decision, did it matter to you tho ? no. you nervously walked up to donghyuck with your hands in your pocket as he was putting his books in his locker. “ what do you want y/n “ , he said smirking “ “ hm i was thinking about if you want to go out with me on friday night ? “ you tilted your head towards him , “ i guess so “ he said smiling , “ see you then at eight , pick me up “ you said.
those were all members because now its your senior year and you finally had a boyfriend , couldnt you be more happy ? truthfully , you werent as happy as you planned. you were not over jaemin. you didnt think you ever would be. you tried to fall for hyuck , it was just hard. jaemin had been your one sided first love. but you still tried to love hyuck.
there was a party hyucks friend jaehyun was throwing. he had asked you to come as his date. you were beyond excited since parties with donghyuck had become a usual thing. he had helped you branch out of your shell and get out and experience things more. you were grateful.
you had decided to bring him coffee this morning to discuss him letting you stay at his place friday night after the party. as you were walking up to him , you noticed the change in his mood. why had he been acting strange lately ? for the last week , every time he looked at you , he seemed so uncomfortable as if he didnt want to be around you. you chose to ignore it and let it be. “ hey i brought you coffee like you like it “ , you said smiling “ thanks “ he said shortly , you chose to think he wasnt having a good day. after a few minutes of dry responses from him , you got fed up and left for class , you hoped this week didnt suck.
wrong. friday came along and you felt unusually odd. soonyoung had messaged you about her coming over to get ready for the party with you. as soon as you heard the doorbell ring , you ran towards it. “ soonyoung hi come in “ , “ you look so good “ you said “ no you please “ you both laughed and headed to your room to get ready. “ hey soonyoung , im starting to feel like donghyuck doesnt like me anymore “ you said pouting , “ really , ive seen the way he has acted lately. i hope its just a short phase “ she said patting your shoulder , “ yea me too “ you said slightly smiling. “ you look so hot woah come on lets go “ she said.
arriving at the party , you went straight to find hyuck. you had asked a couple of people where he could have been yet you hot no replies. you decided to wait it out and hopefully he would show up later. you went to grab a drink for yourself when all of a sudden you ran into someone “ oh- oh wait im so sorry “ you said , “ oh no its fine “ the male said and i soon as you looked at him you noticed it was jaemin , “ oh hi jaemin “ “ hi “ he said while chuckling , “ have you seen donghyuck “ “ have you seen somin “ you both said in unison. laughing you both shook your heads no. he looked so beautiful , you thought. you looked so pretty , jaemin thought.
“ well im going to go look for donghyuck “ you waves bye and headed towards the upstairs. you thought maybe he went to use the bathroom. again , wrong. as you walked farther up the stairs , you noticed heavy breathing. at first you were concerned so you made your way to the room you heard it from. as soon as you cracked the door open , you were met with a sight you didnt think you would ever have to see. somin and hyuck in a heavy make out session. “ what the literal fuck “ you steadily said loudly as you opened the door. “ yn i swear its not what you - “ hyuck tried to say but someone cut you off. “ what’s happening here ? “ a male said. as you turned around jaemin was right behind you. “ jaemin - are you sure “ he softly pushed you aside and witnessed the sight for himself. “ what the hell somin ?! i did nothing to you and you pull this shit. “ he said angrily , “ its not my fault you are inlove with the fucking bitch behind you. i needed someone who could love me not you “ she spat out. “ w-what “ you said. “ jaemin you l-love me ? “ you eyes widened. you heart swelled. you didnt know what to feel so you just run outside with him running after you. “ yn wait please ! “ he scream , “ you waited so long ? jaemin why didnt you tell me earlier ? “ you said out of breathe , “ because we never talked , okay i didnt think you liked me back and i still dont think you do “ he said , “ jaemin ive been inlove with you for as long as i can remember. “ you said tearing up and walking towards him , “ r-really ? “ , you nodded hugging him “ yes jaemin , i love you “ he smiled back at you and kissed your forehead , “ i love you too , now come on let me take you home before you get so cold “ he said “ your too perfect na jaemin , too perfect “ you both smiled. “ oh and jaemin , lily calla’s were always my favorite “ you said softly smiling , “ yea ive always known “ . many things were wrong in this world. you and jaemins mere love for each other was not one of them.
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