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estro-gem · 3 months

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Jax x Ragatha: Blood in the Water

The Amazing Digital Circus AU: Oasis

Author's note: Happy Valentines day! (even if it's belated) Have some angst and psychological torment~ (And a teensy bit of fluff) This entry has a lot of Jax, Gangle and Ragatha mixed together. I don't know how to label it, because it's not a Ribbun fic, but it's not entirely a Bunnydoll fic either. It's just a little mix of things.

Warnings: Abusive/Unhealthy relationships Depression Mania Implied violence Threats Talks of character death Animal instincts (RIP to the people who understand the signs)

SUMMARY:

Gangle is accompanied by Jax, who had requested her assistance with something unexpected. As the two spend some time together, Jax realize that there is more lurking beneath the mask she chooses to hide behind. Due to the outcome of a quarrel, the rabbit is left to his own devices and ultimately seeks out Ragatha's company to make a special delivery. As the odd couple eventually part ways, Ragatha is left unaware of a bloodtrail enticing an evil that they hadn't encountered in a long time. This is literally the only way to summarize the story without spoiling anything.

BLOOD IN THE WATER

Tissue paper. He wanted tissue paper to make paper flowers.

While the use of tissue paper could make for beautiful, simplistic, soft flowers, it wasn't something that Gangle would consider Jax to use. Tissue paper was frail and hard to handle without running the risk tearing them - especially for the rabbit, who was known for his rough grip and impatient streak.

But to Gangle's surprise, Jax insisted for tissue paper as bright and blood-red as it could be.

The ribbonoid could provide; happy hand over her stash she usually kept for the sole purpose of bleeding tissue-art, since the bright colour bled the best when compared to the other shades of red she had used in the past. It wasn't often for her rabbit-friend to partake in crafting arts, so she milked the moment for what it was worth, curious to find the reason behind the sudden interest.

Explaining and demonstrating the process of making the flowers was easy enough. The rabbit was delighted to see that they were simple to make - following her instructions with white sheets to practice with, before jumping to use the red sheets once he got it down. She sighed, a little annoyed by how she was going to have to beg Caine to replenish her green pipe cleaners, but happy to see Jax take the activity so seriously.

"Who knew that some people would spend their whole life wasting time on things so stupid?" Jax mused to himself as he picked at the thin, upper sheet of red paper to seperate it from the others.

...Well, as serious as he could manage it.

"And yet, here you are; wasting your oh-so precious time on the very thing you are calling stupid." Gangle smiled sarcastically as he finally managed to grip onto the sheet, then moved it painstakingly slow to fluff it up without tearing it.

He could insult the activity all he wanted, but he was taking it seriously.

"Because it's not stupid when I do it~!" Came the smug chime of Jax's voice that Gangle anticipated.

"No, no, you're right!" She said in mock agreement, before taking the chance to jab at him, "...because calling what you are doing 'stupid,' would still be considered as a compliment."

"Watch it, sister!" the bunny warned, clearly annoyed at his slow progress. He pointed the blades of his scissors to the ribbon that was acting as Gangle's neck, before snipping at the air and making the girl internally freak out for a moment, "Yer one snip away from bein' decapitated."

Breathe.

"Nothing you haven't done before~!" The masked ribbon teased, attempt to mask her moment of surprise.

"Didn't do a good enough job before, by the looks of it..." Jax sneered, before abruptly dropping the scissors and resuming his tedious task of fluffing up the flower.

Slowly, the tension left the ribboniod's body and allowed her curiosity to seep into her mind once again, as she tried to figure out his motivation for this task that he was so clearly annoyed by.

Earlier, he almost bit her head off when she offered to help him make the flowers. 'Many hands do light work' was her reasoning, but Jax was having none of it. He insisted on doing it all himself, leaving Gangle to busy herself by using her other coloured tissue paper to bleed it into some of her silhouette drawings she made a while back. They were mostly trees and little birds sitting in branches.

She liked how staining - tainting - something could be considered as 'art.'

If the colours were overlaid atop each other by having complimenting shades and colours positioned just right, her tissue bleeding art could resemble a stain glass styled background.

And what others would see as a mess, could become something beautiful.

"Finally!"

She heard Jax exclaim, like he was spitting a curse. She peeked up and saw Jax eagerly counting the flowers he made over the course of the long while they had spent together. There was a moment of silence. She saw him freeze - before scrambling to count them again, more carefully the second time. He picked up the long, fuzzy, green steels of the pile, placing them down in a new pile as he counted. One by one, he counted them until he placed the last one down and buried his face into his hands with a groan.

"Not enough?" Gangle mused, not bothering to look at him, but unable to resist the urge to tease him.

"Shut up!" He spat, grabbing other green pipe cleaner and picking up the tissue paper to cut them into singular sheets again. "I need one more and then I'm finally done with this $*%@."

The masked ribbon looked up to him, then rolled her black eyes towards his pile of red, rose-like flowers. By how they were piled together, she couldn't count them all.

"How many did you make?" She asked, not expecting him to give a straight answer.

"Not your business, crybaby."

Typical.

"Ok, sure... but the number of roses you give really matters, you know~?"

Jax scoffed as he finish cutting the paper and carefully started layering them. He scrunched them in the middle and twisted the pipe cleaner around it to hold it together.

"I don't care about those things." he mumbled more to himself than to actually answer.

"And yet you are so determined to have the number right...?" Gangle asked, skeptically.

"Ugh, shoo!" the rabbit tried to wave her away like a pestering fly, making her snicker to herself, "Get out of here and let me focus."

"It's MY room!" Gangle accused, "YOU get out."

"Alright, alright! Geez, just let me finish this one, you drag." Jax chuckles to himself, pleased to see Gangle worked up.

It grew silent for a while, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. Neither of them were mad. Neither of them wanted the other to leave. They were content and comfortable in each other's presence, despite the harsh words and use of blades to threaten each other. It wasn't normal, that was for certain, but it was theirs - and they would remain closely intertwined, yet never merged.

No... they had their significant others for that. The ones they truly wanted. They never wanted each other...

They only needed each other once in a while.

Like they did the other day, when Jax was driven by the mercy of his animalistic urges to... well... to do whatever it was that they wanted him to do at the time. He motives were never easy to predict when he was in that state. Some of the things he did, was probably something that only a rabbit would understand. Or maybe even a rabbit owner...?

Once Gangle found him in his room, vigorously clawing at the crumbled tiles beneath their feet, causing the glitching mass that the void of the hole he was creating, to crawl up his arms and almost invade his entire form.

Another time, he would loom behind Ragatha and shadow her movements like he wanted to EAT HER. While the doll insisted that he was no danger to her; and that he was being playful when trailing or circling her, Gangle always felt the need to intervene when he'd started to nip at her shoulders. He was never happy be dragged away in those cases - always running tight circles around Gangle in attempt to avoid her grasp - even going as far to virosciously swipe at here in jagged blurry movements. He'd take hours to calm down and he hide away for just as long when he'd clear his thoughts after those particular episodes.

She didn't know why he would be exceptionally embarrassed about it those specific instances he'd go feral. He never really did anything strange other than acting like a creepy stalker, but in a weird Jax-kind of way. As he was capable of recalling what he did and thought after his feral episodes, Ragatha once asked him why he would act as he did and pry about what his train of thought was during said times. The chasing. The circling. The nipping.

Jax would clam shut at the very mention of it, simply shrugging them off in dismissal and refusing to even acknowledge it.

It probably didn't matter all that much anyway.

The ribbinoid pondered for a moment, before deciding to take the chance to get some answers.

"So bunny, what set you off this time?" She asked casually, seeing him fumble with the flower he was fluffing up, "Why did you go 'rabbit' on us the other day?"

"Same old, same old, Ribbons..." Jax mumbled, clearly not keen to talk about it, "Just a random triggered event, nothing special."

He blinked away the clear image of milky fabric dorning a purple heart.

"You sure?" Gangle asked gently, "I won't judge, you know! I won't even tell a soul."

"Drop it, Bowtie." Jax said with a bit of a forced grin, "I said it's nothing important."

"You know... I don't think that's true! I'm worried about you. You'll feel better when you talk to someone about it-"

Jax gruffed and bared his teeth in a menacing smile, causing Gangle to raise an eyebrow as he hissed harsh words at her, "What, are you trying be Raggs now? You should know your place - stick to what you're good at, Crybaby."

"I'm not trying to BE Ragatha, Jax." Gangle spat back into his face, matching his snarling grin, "Is it that hard to believe that I could actually care about you?"

"You shouldn't. It's not what YOU do."

"Just like telling people what they should and shouldn't do, isn't what YOU do."

"Yer right, that guy's GONE." Jax snarled, dropping the flower to get up in challenge. To his surprise, Gangle didn't back down. She just smiled back eerily, sending a quiet shiver down his spine. He knew she saw it.

She knew.

"He never told me that I SHOULD do anything~!" she purred, her voice no longer raised, "We were a team, but you wouldn't understand that, would you? You have no one. You bound to be alone for the rest of your pathetic existence~"

Jax looked disturbed, then enraged, but determined to hide it, "Kaufmo was nothing but a tutorial that prompted everything you did." he sneered, "If he was anything more, he'd still be here, or you would be gone too."

"Oh, you think I am so reliant on him!" The girl huffed, dismissing his accusations, "I didn't need him to know what my purpose is. I don't need him to fulfil my role and I don't need him to be replaced by anyone. I don't need him. So don't you go accuse me for trying to take Ragatha's place while you're clearly trying to take his."

"Well, someone has to get you to clean up your act with your housekeeper going AWOL." Jax swiped to knock Gangle's cold grin off her face, but she was faster, slinking her lanky form up and stretching to grab onto the high canopy of her bed and crouching atop it to sneer a grin down at him.

"You think I can't handle myself? Bunny, I've been doing that for a while now~"

"So that's it, huh?" Jax thump his foot as his frustration grabbed a hold of him, "You don't care? You're not bothered about what needs to change for us to survive without him?"

"Nothing needs to change!" Gangle laughs, but it sounds like nails on a chalkboard, "Things will go back to how it was eventually."

"With him gone and that new sucker around?" the rabbit barks a bitter laugh, "I doubt it! Don't think I didn't notice your little grudge~ And don't come to me with that crap about her 'checking you out' or 'trying to mess up your thing with Zooble' or any other bull@$&#! I KNOW there's more to it than that."

"We don't need her." Gangle slowly stalks along one of the beams above her bed, crawling closer to the wall, "She's useless to us. It's only a matter of time before she'll be gone. You saw her. She barely made it through her first day!"

"So it's survival of the fittest now?" Jax's eyes widen, realising that she's walking down a familiar route - a route he was made to obstruct.

"So you are on HER side, now? You're no better than me for implying that she could replace Kaufmo."

"Oh my god... I never said that, you $@&#@!"

"Then what are you saying?" Gangle asked with quiet tone, laced with false innocence, "Before, you said if Kaufmo meant more to us, then he'd still be here... or I'd be gone. Are you saying that I'm not needed here anymore? Am I useless now that Kaufmo's gone?"

Jax was at a loss for words - he was at a loss for anything. She was beyond reason. She was in denial. He never saw her cry or mourn her friends death. He missed all of the red flags, while wasting his time chasing his dolly around. He neglected his role.

He neglected his friend.

Jax saw her idly crouch close to the wall. He knew that she was moments away from disappearing into the rafters above his head.

He could still save her from herself. He had to stop her. He had to get that damned, grinning mask off.

"Gangle, get down. Now."

...

She leaped to the dark ceiling, above the lights and up into the rafters, among the beams that supported the impossibly large tent. The rabbit could only watch as she slipped out of sight, cursing his incompetence in the silence of his mind.

He flopped down, holding his head in his hands.

How long has it been since he saw her cry? When last did he make her cry? For how long did he allow her to cling to that damned mask now?

She seemed fine before...

"@#&$!" Jax exclaimed, wishing nothing more than for Ragatha to be there with him. His doll.

No.

Maybe Gangle needed Ragatha more than he did?

Damn it, Kaufmo... Where are you?

He turned to take a hold of the unfinished flower and continued to fluff up the petals. He had to keep his hands busy as he desperately raked through his thoughts to figure out a plan of action.

He would go find Ragatha, as he originally planned, to go do his thing.

And then he'd find Zooble to bash their triangular face in, to get rid of his frustration.

Then finally, maybe, they could find a way lure Gangle to them, before she does anything destructive.

To them. To herself...

Jax sighed as he finished his last flower; and then he cursed Kaufmo for leaving them in a mess that HE was meant to clean up. He would've known what to do.

Jax's ears drooped to his back now that he was alone. He allowed a moment for himself to breathe. He was the snake. He was coldblooded and opportunistic - not meant to show compassion. He was their outlet. He was their scapegoat. He was in control and he would give the others control.

Control over what they hated.

He just had to crawl a little further...

Jax huffed as he stood up and grabbed his self-made bouquet, modifying it to his own vision and his liking. I simple, large white sheet of paper he could nick from Gangle's supply would to wonders to tie the bouquet together. It's a shame he couldn't hold onto Ragatha's blue ribbon he plucked from her hair

It would've made for the perfect tie...

The rabbit adjusted his clothes and patted down his big front pocket, briefly thinking about it's infinite pocket space cartoon-features. In times like this, he really appreciated the neat little quirk of his form. He tried not to think about the logic behind it for too long - it made his head hurt.

He straightened up his ears before leaving Gangle's room, modified bouquet in hand and walked down the hall. His eyes trailed up to the unseen beams and structures above him, trying to shake the feeling of being watched.

What are the chances...?

Shaking his head, Jax hurried his way down the hall. He had to be quick. It had to be perfect. Just like he planned. She would never see it coming. He just had to make it to her room without being noticed...

As he passed Kinger's door, he noticed it to be open and stole a glance inside as he marched passed it. What he saw didn't shock him, per say, but it was something he wished that he could watch a little longer... maybe get a little context while he was at it...

Ragatha and Kinger were sitting on the rug in the middle of the chess piece's room, with the ragdoll allowing the king to rest his head on her lap. They seemed to be sharing a tender moment and Jax felt a surge of emotion at the sight of Kinger seemingly being of sane mind again. It was definitely happening more and more now the Kaufmo was gone... Or maybe he just didn't notice it before...? Hell, maybe Kinger felt the need to fight off the madness a bit more, in order to compensate for their loss in a way? He could only guess, but the fact of the matter was that the king was definitely more... all there... than he was in a while.

Jax couldn't take too long to dwell on that thought.

He reached Ragatha's room and hurried to summon the key to unlock it. He was sure that his doll's keen eyes spotted him in his haste passed Kinger's open door; and the prominent bouquet in his hands would look, suspiciously, a lot like a weapon in passing, so it was only a matter of time before his dolly-dearest came running. It only took him a few moment's to slip inside, work his magic and carefully exit the room again.

No sudden movements...

He smiled to himself as he was just in time to stand away from the door - not looking suspicious at all - with the bouquet in his hands as he wore a bright smile that would put the very sun to shame. Ragatha stumbled out of Kingers room, looking like she was trying to find any excuse to... well.. excuse herself from Kinger's company to make her way down the hall.

He knew she would come running~

"Dollface~!" Jax called in mock flirtation, as she approached with a curious, yet suspicious look on her face, "How lovely to see ya on this fine day-"

"What did you do this time, Jax?" Ragatha asked with an amused sigh, eyeing the paper flowers with intrigue gleaming in her eye.

Jax dramatically gasped, putting a hand to his chest as if his heart was ripped out by her mere question, "Yer breakin' my heart here, Doll! Can't I just get my most favourite ragdoll in the entire Circus some flowers?"

Ragatha laughed, amused by his charm, "Honey, I'm the only ragdoll in the Circus!"

"Not the only one~" Jax winked, casting her a knowing smile.

He had another doll... in his room. One Ragatha made just for him. One that proved to him just how much his ragdolly cared for him, even if it was just by making a mere plushy. It was her promise to him.

Ragatha give him a fond smile, while shaking her head, "Oh, Jax..."

"Yeah... Uhm..." Jax cleared his throat, trying to move the conversation along, before things got too sappy, "Speaking of... These are yours. See it as a peace-offering after destroying your door and all..."

Ragatha's eye lit up by the sight of the deep red flowers that the rabbit practically shoved into her face, "Oh, Jax... These are paper flowers! They look handmade too... Did Gangle-?"

"Oh no you don't, Sweetheart~ I made these myself! Too bad I couldn't get ya real roses... I'd love to make a 'smell the roses' joke out of that!"

Ragatha unwrapped the flowers from the white sheet of paper, eager to see how he made them. She chuckled in wonder when she saw the green pipe cleaners acting as stems and took the chance to quickly count them.

"Nine roses, huh?" She spoke, almost breathless as her cheeks started glowing bright red.

"You like them?" Jax asked, looking her in the eye with a definite fondness.

How he would cherish this moment...

"It's perfect." Ragatha breathed, like a prayer, mirroring what he had told her in the past, "Perfect."

Jax gave her a smile that seemed to be laced with a strange melancholy as he absorbed her words. For a long, heated moment, the two only looked at each other, getting lost in their gazes. They were so close.

So close.

"You maybe wanna put them in your room? Ya know... before I get an earful from Zooble for being sweet on ya?" Jax smirked as he softly spoke, almost hypnotizing his Dolly into melting.

"Oh you~!" Ragatha sighed dismissively, yet fondly as she walked by her bunny to open her door.

Jax took a breath as she passed him, calming himself.

Don't laugh.

DON'T-

It was over in a matter of moments, just as Jax had anticipated. Just as he had planned.

Ragatha, knowing that Jax had keys to everyone's room, didn't think twice about her door being open by a mere crack after finding him standing right next to it when she found him in the hallway with a bouquet in hand. Hell, she was too distracted by the bouquet in her hands to pay attention to anything else. She didn't anticipate the full bucket of water balanced atop her door... or how it tumbled to spill water all over her form as she entered he room, cradling the soft, tissue paper flowers. The mass of water drenched her from head to toe and caused the bloody red tissue paper to crumble and melt into a big, soggy mass in her arms, matting all over her milky fabric she had as skin.

Her precious gift, melted and ruined. His time and effort, wasted.

Jax couldn't contain his laughter any longer, bursting into a fit as he saw her freeze in her doorway, before slowly turning to face him with a shocked, dead, expression. Her eye was glossed over with tears welling up at the sight for the flowers being completely ruined - a soggy sludge she tried so desperately to hold onto, only for it the sloppily drip to the floor as it seeped through her fingers.

"You should see your face, Raggs! Oh my god!" Jax laughed, gasping for air as he barely managed to speak simple phrases.

He should feel bad... but after this day he's had...? He really enjoyed a good laugh.

"My..." Ragatha spoke in a quiet, broken voice, "My flowers..."

"Ha! More like your SLUDGE now, princess~" Jax taunted, before harshly grabbing her wrist and holding it up for her to see.

Ragatha's eye widened as the sight of her pale fabric-skin; stained a smudged red as the tissue bled the bright red colour onto it. It would take hours of washing to get it out... or a hassled conversation with Caine to snap it back into it's former glory. Ragatha's heart sank into her shoes at the sight of her ruined flowers and the stains they left tainted onto her hands and arms. A lone tear crawled down her cheek.

It was such a thoughtful gift too...

"Looks like I'm not the one that's caught... red-handed! Ha!" Jax joked, seemingly unphased by her distress, before looking down at her with a cold look that she couldn't decide to be alluring or heartless "I've gotta say though... That look isn't half bad~"

He always thought that she looked so beautiful when she was crying. Now there she stood, tainted by his on doing. Beautiful... One could call it art.

"Anyway~" Jax dropped her hand like it was trash, shaking his glove as if he could shake off the sludge that the flowers had become, "This was fun and all, but I gotta go harras Zooble now, mmmkay? Don't miss me too much, Sweetheart! You wouldn't wanna hurt yourself~"

Ragatha stood silent as she watched Jax saunter off until he was out of the hall and out of sight. Her heart felt like it was shattered into millions of pieces, before being stomped on; only to ultimately resemble the blood red mass that now laid on the floor in her doorway.

He was... He was...

She couldn't think of a suitable thing to call him as she numbly looked over to her bed, wanting to collapse onto it and refuse to get up the next morning.

...But something caught her eye...

He was...

On her pillow, clear as day, laid a single, red flower, just like the ones he had gifted to her in the form of the now ruined bouquet.

One blood red flower, put aside and spared from harm, for her to keep. For her to admire.

He was her monster.

Hypnotized, Ragatha was lured to her bed, idly letting her door slowly swing shut by it's own accord as she fully entered her room. She was too distracted to see the glimmer of red ribbons ooze through the shrinking crack of her door...

As it clicked shut.

Author's note:

And there you have it, folks! Everyone in Oasis is messed up, hooray! There's a storm coming~ RIP Ragatha, I guess...

By the way... did you know that there were special meaning behind the number of roses you gift someone? Did Jax gift Ragatha 9, 1 or 10? All of the above? Who knows~ Bet he does... Mister 'I don't care about those things' (...asshole.)

Oasis: TADC AU list

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salembutnotthecat · 2 months

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Novemetober (Rescheduled) | Day Six

@monthofsick | day six: post-adrenaline puking

once again, i am revisiting some days i missed because im not feeling the last few prompts at this time.

(also once again these characters originally belonged to @simplysickness but they have given the characters to me)

if you have any requests or questions feel free to send (please send)!

tw emeto, caffeine overload, brief/vague mention of mental health issues, bad coping mechanisms

In the dimly lit garage, the scent of motor oil hung heavy in the air, mingling with the metallic tang of sweat as Xavier tinkered with his bike, his hands deftly maneuvering around the engine with practiced precision. The fluorescent glow of the overhead lights cast sharp shadows across his furrowed brow, accentuating the lines of fatigue etched into his features.

"Hey, Cass," Xavier called out, his voice rough from exhaustion as he glanced over his shoulder to where Cassidy sat on the tabletop of his workbench, leaning against the workbench, concern etched into his features. "Hand me that wrench, would you?"

Cassidy stepped forward, handing over the tool with a gentle touch, his eyes scanning Xavier's face with worry. "You sure you're up for this, Xav? You look like you haven't slept in days."

Xavier chuckled, the sound hollow in the confines of the garage. "Just needing a bit of a distraction lately. Not sure why, maybe with you and Amity being in college, need something to fill my time."

Xavier reached beside him, knocking back the last of the can that Cassidy brought him. Probably much to one of his boyfriends' dismay.

"How many of those have you hit today?" Cassidy asked.

"Three, maybe?" Xavier said, "It's my last one, promise. I'm almost done anyway."

Cassidy's expression softened with understanding, though a flicker of concern still lingered in his gaze. "You've been pushing yourself too hard, Xav. Racing every chance you get. Aren't you supposed to only focus on the circuit?"

"I don't have to," Xavier shrugged, "Besides, the more I race, the better I do on the circuit."

"Yeah, and you look like you haven't slept in days," Cassidy said, "If you don't slow down you'll get yourself sick."

Xavier's shoulders tensed slightly, a defensive edge creeping into his voice. "I can handle it, Cass. I've been doing this for years."

But even as he spoke, a wave of nausea swept over him, a harsh reminder of the toll his rigorous schedule was taking on his body. He swallowed back the bile and the sickening sweetness of the last energy drink he had rising in his throat, his grip tightening on the wrench as he forced himself to focus on the task at hand.

Cassidy reached out, a hand coming to rest on Xavier's shoulder, the touch grounding and reassuring. "Just promise me you'll take it easy after this race, okay? Your health comes first."

Xavier met Cassidy's gaze, a flicker of gratitude softening the exhaustion in his eyes. "I promise," he murmured, the weight of his words heavy in the air between them.

Race day dawned with the sky painted in hues of fiery orange and soft pink, the air thick with anticipation and the faint scent of gasoline. Xavier stood at the edge of the track, clad in his racing gear, the vibrant colors of his suit a stark contrast to the pallor of his complexion. Despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins, Xavier felt like maybe, just maybe he did too much in too little of time.

Cassidy stood nearby, a knot of worry twisting in his stomach as he watched Xavier's trembling hands lift another energy drink to his lips, knocking it back like it was a shot of liquor as opposed to an excessive amount of caffeine. The telltale signs of too much caffeine were impossible to miss, the jittery tremors a stark contrast to Xavier's usual steady demeanor. He approached Xavier with a gentle touch, concern etched into every line of his face.

"Xav, maybe you should sit this one out," Cassidy suggested softly, his voice laced with worry. "You're not in any condition to race."

But Xavier's jaw clenched stubbornly, his gaze fixed on the track. "I can't back out now, Cass. I've trained for this, I've worked for this. I can't just give up. I can't let the last month and a half be for nothing."

Cassidy reached out, cupping Xavier's trembling hands in his own. But, it hurt. Or something, Xavier wasn't sure how to explain it.

"I know you want this, Xav," Cassidy murmured, his voice gentle but firm. "But pushing yourself like this, it's not worth risking your health. There will be other races, other opportunities."

But Xavier shook his head, his gaze unwavering as he met Cassidy's eyes with a fierce intensity. "I have to do this, Cass. For me, for us. I need to prove that I can still compete, that I'm not just a has-been."

Cassidy's heart ached at the raw vulnerability in Xavier's words. He wanted nothing more than to wrap Xavier in his arms, to shield him from the relentless pressure weighing him down. And it was all pressure he was putting on himself, Cassidy knew that. But he was putting that pressure on himself as a coping mechanism, Amity explained that many times. Putting race pressure on himself, putting excessive caffeine in his body, it was a coping mechanism to avoid facing his internal struggles. A bad coping mechanism, but a mechanism nonetheless.

"I have to go, race time," Xavier said, knocking back the last of the can he had, handing it over to Cassidy, proving it was empty, making a statement that was the last one.

As Xavier crossed the finish line, a surge of triumph surged through his weary body, the deafening roar of the crowd echoing in his ears like a symphony of victory. But as the adrenaline that had propelled him through the race began to fade, a wave of nausea swept over him with crippling intensity.

The world spun around him in a dizzying blur, his vision swimming with dark spots as he fought to keep his balance. He needed to get off the track, for several reasons.

Cassidy's voice cut through the haze of exhaustion, sharp with concern as he rushed to Xavier's side, a hand coming to rest on his quivering shoulder. "Xav, are you okay? You don't look so good."

Xavier swallowed back the bile rising in his throat, the taste of stomach acid and the energy drink a strange mix of sweet and bitter on his tongue as he forced a weak smile, continuing to walk off to the side with his bike, "I'm fine, Cass. Just need a minute to catch my breath, that's all."

But even as he spoke, a violent wave of nausea tore through him, his stomach lurching with agonizing intensity. Xavier staggered to a halt, his hands trembling as he struggled to unclasp the helmet strapped to his head.With a strangled gasp, Xavier ripped off his helmet, the cool air of the racetrack washing over his clammy skin in a welcome relief.

Cassidy's brow furrowed with worry as he watched Xavier's pallor turn ashen, his hands shaking uncontrollably as he clutched at his stomach.

"Xav, you need to sit down," Cassidy insisted, his voice urgent with concern. "You're not okay."

But Xavier waved him off weakly, his breaths coming in ragged gasps as he fought to keep the contents of his churning stomach at bay. "I just... need a moment," he managed to choke out, his voice barely above a whisper.

With a trembling hand, Cassidy reached out, offering Xavier a steadying arm as he guided him to a nearby bench, the cold metal biting into Xavier's aching muscles as he collapsed onto the hard surface. The world spun around him in a dizzying whirl, the sounds of the racetrack fading into a distant haze as darkness threatened to consume him whole.

As Xavier sat on the hard metal bench, the world around him seemed to spin faster and faster, the cacophony of voices and engines blending into a disorienting symphony of chaos. With each passing moment, the relentless grip of nausea tightened its hold on him, a suffocating weight pressing down on his chest.

Cassidy hovered nearby, his features etched with concern as he watched Xavier's condition deteriorate with growing alarm.

"Xav, I told you this would happen," he said softly, his voice tinged with panic as he reached out a hand to steady Xavier's trembling form.

But before Xavier could respond, a violent wave of nausea tore through him, the contents of his stomach rising up with agonizing force. With a strangled gasp, he doubled over, retching violently onto the ground, the bitter taste of bile filling his mouth with every heave.

Disgust and dismay washed over Xavier in a sickening wave as he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, the acrid stench of vomit lingering in the air like a foul miasma. Shame burned hot in his chest as he glanced up at Cassidy, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry, Cass," Xavier murmured, his voice thick with self-loathing. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

But Cassidy's expression softened with compassion as he knelt beside Xavier, a hand coming to rest on his trembling shoulder. "Hey, it's okay," he reassured, his voice gentle but firm. "You pushed yourself too hard, that's all. Let's get you home."

With Cassidy's steady support, Xavier struggled to his feet, his legs trembling beneath him as he leaned heavily on his boyfriend for support. The world spun around him in a dizzying blur, the sounds of the racetrack fading into a distant haze as he stumbled toward his bike. The weight of his exhaustion was draggung him down like an anchor in the storm, but he needed to take care of things before they could go.

“Hey, hey,” Cassidy said, “Here. Let me help. And then we really should get you home… and in bed.”

Xavier glanced up at Cassidy, a flicker of gratitude softened the edges of his despair, a reminder that no matter how far he fell, his boyfriend would always be there to lift him back up again.

“I’m sorry,” Xavier said, “Seriously.”

Cassidy nodded, “Yeah, I know. It’s okay…”

#emeto #sickfic #emeto fic #emeto cw #emeto tw #emetophilia #caffeine overdose tw #bad coping mechanisms tw #tw bad coping mechanisms #novemetober 2023 #novemetober rescheduled

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