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#childhoodtraumarecovery

porridge-on-spaceships · 8 months

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𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟

🌍Oasis | Hiya we're the Mioasis system. We're a system of about 20ish.

🪣Bucketful of losers 🍃| We collectively use they/them pronouns.

🪲 Coping 🧦 surviving 📻| If you dont know who's fronting our singlesona name is, Oasis.

🐕Inner-child healing 🎧| We're bodily 26.

📺 Did-system • taken🪴• level XXIV 📪|

We've got a lot of issues bodily/mentally.

𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟

□---☆--- Frequent fronters ---☆---□

• Host - Veda - 🫐🌍❄️💤🍃

He/she • 26 •

• Coh/P - Fritz -🎤🦷🔪🛹⛓️

He/him • 21 •

^🖤❤️ together 🩶❤️v

• Sp - Dante -🫀🐺🥓🔥🥍

He/him • 24 • [ 🪬 ]

• Coh/s/e - Skylee -🫧🎶🎮🍬🐧

She/her • 18 •

• S/e - Sam - 🎸💾🛹🥫📼

He/him • 26 •

■ ---•--- Office ---•--- ■

• Gk - Pierce - 🪿🌲🧊🪨♟️

She/her • ♾️ •

• Gk - 🐕 - 🦮💢👁🗣💥

It/its • ♾️ •

• Per - Gwen-🕸⌚️🌑📹✒️

She/her • ♾️ •

^💔🖤 Together ❤️‍🩹💜v

• Per/td - Mystic -🍗🛻🎣🥾🛋

He/him • ♾️ •

◇---●--- [ 🪬 ] ---●---◇

• S/p - Patience -🫦🌸🍒💒🛍

She/her • 24 •

^💙🩵 sisters 🩷💜v

• R/sp - Nexia -💫🦴🪶🛤🧿

She/her • 25 •

☆---♡---Nursery ---♡---☆

• Ct - Nell -🐻🫘🧵👜🧺

She/her • 36+•

• Ict - Leon - 🦁🛺🧤📚🩹

He/him • 22 •

• X - Exodus - 🐎🍪🏉🧸👑

He/him • X •

• X - Rosemary -🐇🌷🍓🎀🩰

She/her • X •

• Th/k - Percy - 🛁🫧🪣🫙🦈

He/him • X •

[ ] - -

♧---♡--- Spooky ---♡---♧

• Th/p - A!@ Alastor -👁🐦‍⬛🌃🌑🪦

It/its/they/them • ♾️

• Fi/per/td - Mama-👻🧟‍♀️🏚🦢🔪

She/her • ♾️ •

[ ] - -

■---●--- Dormant/idk/lost ---●---■

• Blendy F+S - Chase -👾🛸🪐🕹💾

He/him • 23 •

• Fi/S/e - Emiko -🐾🌰🪵🔨📻

They/them • 18-21 •

𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟

🪣.*•° Please don't Interact if..

□ you're sexist, ableist, lgbtqia-phobic, etc.

□ you crosstag.

□ you post triggering content.

□ you're a Mik (minor in kink.)

.°"▪︎

𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟

#osdd #did system #actually did #actually autistic #inner child healing #impure regression #dissociative identity disorder #dissociative system #osdd 1b #osdd 1a #neurodivergent #childhoodtraumarecovery #kidcore #actually cptsd #cpstd

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mentallyherede · 1 year

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💜💚 #mentallyhere #mentallyherede #sarecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthquotes #mentalhealthcommunity #recovery #traumarecovery #childhoodtraumarecovery #healingjourney #healingisnotlinear #healingispossible #onestepatatime #essstörungrecovery #eatingdisorderecovery #anxietyawareness #depressionawareness #depressionsurvivor #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthrecovery #bingeeatingrecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #ptsdrecovery #recoveryjourney #recoveryisalifelongjourney #bulemiarecovery #selfharmawareness #selfharmrecoveryispossible #abuserecovery (at Finding Happiness) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqUYbRZD7LN/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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ccarriganphotos · 1 year

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Medical intuitive healer Catherine Carrigan interviews psychotherapist and author Beverly Engel about six steps to heal from childhood sexual abuse. To watch the video please visit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0hCozrtTZ8 Questions addressed in this interview include: Why do you feel shame is the most damaging result of child sexual abuse? Statistics show an estimated 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys experience childhood sexual abuse. How can we develop the inner strength to face the truth of what happened? In your experience, what is shame? How does shame hurt a survivor of child sexual abuse? What are the major components of the program you recommend for recovery from child sexual abuse? The 6 steps to heal from childhood sexual abuse include: 1, facing the truth, 2, acknowledging our feelings, 3, stop blaming yourself and get angry, 4, tell someone safe, 5, forgive yourself, and 6, stop shame inducing behavior. What are the details of each step? This is the Natural Healing Show for UK Health Radio. What natural healing methods helped you the most in your recovery from child sexual abuse? How can grounding our energy help us reconnect with our mind, body and spirit and stop the pattern of dissassociation? What steps do you feel is hardest for victims to tackle? What are common triggers that may remind people of their abuse? What are some common myths that make it difficult for people to heal from child sexual abuse? What is a Truth Book and how can it help people heal? How can making a list of our triggers help us connect the dots? How can victims of child sexual abuse stop the cycle of blaming themselves? As we know, both boys and girls are victims of child sexual abuse. Why do you feel men suffer more shame from child sexual abuse than women? The shame caused by child sexual abuse can affect a victim’s sexuality as they mature. What are some of the specific ways this can occur? #abuserecovery #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumahealing #childhoodtraumarecovery #naturalhealing #naturalhealth https://www.instagram.com/p/CmXmHZbu3HV/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#abuserecovery #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumahealing #childhoodtraumarecovery #naturalhealing #naturalhealth

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joshuatylerberglan · 5 months

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youtube

The Struggle of Confusion: Navigating Abuse, Attractions, and Religious Upbringing 🌟 "Overcoming trauma and finding self-acceptance." - Joshua T. Berglan 🌟 Joshua shares a raw and powerful account of his childhood experiences, including facing abuse and the resulting confusion and night terrors. He discusses the struggle of reconciling his feelings with the condemning messages from the church about homosexuality. This candid reflection is a journey of overcoming trauma and embracing one's true self. 🎥 Full story in the episode: youtu.be/nW9RVgdp1MM 📚 Read more in Joshua's 'The Devil Inside Me': amazon.com/Devil-Inside-Me-Joshua-Berglan/dp/B09KDSVDP4 #ChildhoodTrauma, #SelfAcceptance, #OvercomingAbuse, #MentalHealthJourney, #LGBTQAcceptance, #HealingProcess, #JoshuaTBerglan, #TheDevilInsideMe 🔗 CONNECT WITH JOSH: Twitter: twitter.com/MayorsMedia More: linktr.ee/theworldsmayor YouTube: @JoshuaTylerBerglan Podcast: muse.ai/TheWorldsMayorExperience Website: joshuatberglan.com 🔗 CONNECT WITH EMMA & THE IMAGINATION: Substack: emmakatherine.substack.com Email: [email protected] All links: direct.me/theimaginationpodcast Support: patreon.com/theimagination | buymeacoffee.com/theimagi Website: standbysurvivors.com #ChildhoodTraumaRecovery, #AbuseSurvivor, #EmotionalHealing, #ChurchAndSexuality, #LGBTQIACommunity, #FindingIdentity, #TraumaInformed, #NightTerrors, #SexualIdentityConfusion, #ChurchDoctrine, #MentalHealthAwareness, #AuthenticSelf, #InnerConflict, #Resilience, #CourageToHeal

#youtube

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pokingholes-cptsdwarrior · 3 years

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Reposted from @survivingcomplexptsd When you shut down emotion, you're also affecting your nervous system. So the repression of emotion, which is a survival strategy, then becomes a source of physiological illness later on. Gabor Mate #gabormate #whenthebodysaysno #repressedemotions #disease #chronicillness #autoimmunedisease #cptsdrecovery #cptsd #complexptsdawareness #complextrauma #complexptsd #survivingcptsd #survivingcomplexptsd #childhoodabuserecovery #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumasurvivor #childhoodtraumarecovery #traumarecovery #recovery #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #holistichealth #cptsdwarrior #healingcptsd #healingtraumaandabuse #connections https://www.instagram.com/p/CLc5TsQDfPZ/?igshid=ovsfqfj6y7br

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traumatized-motherfuckers · 3 years

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CPTSD relationship patterns on repeat

Listen wherever you stream, search “complex trauma” and subscribe. Or, find episodes, blog posts, and a private support community at t-mfrs.com

.............................................................................................................................

Things I’ve gotten good at throughout this Trauma journey:

Seeing connections between where I’m from and where I am

Thinking for the first time about where I’m going

Letting myself have emotions

Letting those emotions go

Redirecting my energy and attention away from ruminating

Being accountable for my own feelings

Being accountable for times of being a shithead

Listening and validating other humans

Listening and validating myself

Recognizing what circumstances do/don’t work for me

Realizing how my codependency plays with relationships

Letting go of self-hate inner critic talk

Reframing events with reasonable views

Accepting myself, even when I first want to thrash myself

Semi-consistently caring for myself

Setting realistic boundaries and goals

Sleeping

Things I’m still shitty at:

Letting my overwhelm skew reality

Anxious self-slave-driving

Being a snarky turd when my head is overloaded

Taking on other people’s energies and emotions

Trusting myself in all areas of life

Forming healthy relationships.

Okay, it’s that last one that has me most perpetually fighting feelings of panic and doom.

This seems like an apt way to kick off the new year. I think a lot of us have questions about relationships and would like to improve our operations in 2021. I can also tell you, this one is extremely appropriate looking back at the last year of my life.

One of the biggest lessons I've learned in the past few spins around the sun has been how romance does - and definitely doesn't - fit into my life. I think 2020 was particularly packed full of important lectures and pop quizzes, many of which I failed. It felt like knowing that the correct answer was C, but finding my hand filling in the circle for A every time, anyways.

This is a terrible ideaaaa... and I'm doing it. Pause for about 2 months. Now I'm upset that it was a terrible idea.

Yeah, it's been great. But I have no one to blame but myself. Because as much as I've worked on this trauma management life of mine, I haven't done a good job of working on the relationship aspect of it. I've let my usual patterns dominate. And that's what needs to be examined today.

I mean. Can someone tell me about healthy relationships in functional terms? What IS that even?

Look, I’m not hoping that someone will pop up and share some, “mutual respect, good communication, trust, support, care, similar goals, similar beliefs…” sort of shit. I fucking KNOW about the idealistic, flowery terms that all the light-hearted couples counselors recommend establishing for a happy relationship. I get it.

I’m not ignorant when it comes to the ways humans should interact. I’ve had enough experience with friendships and relationships, alike, to understand the basics of person-to-person interactions. I know I talk about myself like I’ve been a feral child locked in a cage for 20 years, but the truth is that if you met me on the streets I’d probably seem like a normal, well-adapted, personable human being. That Leo Ascendant component of my personality tricks people into actually thinking I’m an extrovert who wants attention. (Hilarious, explains a lot of comments I’ve gotten in my past)

Nah, I’m not asking for the trite descriptions of a healthy partnership that everyone who’s ever been friends on a basic girl’s Facebook has seen before in cursive writing on top of a washed-out pink-tinted field. Those are empty sounding words that I don’t believe most couples manage to put into action, no matter how many selfies they take together or labradoodles they adopt.

For me, Fuckers, the mystery isn’t, “in a fairytale world, how do two humans interact to have a lifelong bliss factory?” Respect, trust, appreciation, mutual understanding… blah blah blah. What the fuck ever.

The real question is how.

And, shit, let me just be honest with all of you - not just the Patrons who’ve already heard my personal bitching - it’s on my mind because I did a thing I definitely should not have… recently, I got into a new romantic relationship that I definitely was not looking for. I’ll spare you all the details today, but know that I’ve entered it kicking and screaming, and it’s caused me a lot of grief already.

Let the life shittery begin! Can’t wait to be destroyed.

Today, I want to bring this personal fire burning in my gut into the podcast. Motherfuck me, if it hasn’t become difficult to ignore… plus, I know that a lot of us Traumatized folks are in a similar boat when it comes to relationship confusion, unhealth, and destruction. So let’s just count the ways that I have no idea how to do this right and I’m destined to be let down by my poor choices.

This time around, I'm bringing you a list of all the ways I tend to fuck things up with other humans. In part, due to Complex Trauma. In other part, probably due to my own personal shortcomings. Listed in no particular order. On a later date, I'm going to be revisiting a lot of these patterns as I examine how early life set a lot of us up for a lot of abuse acceptance in greater detail. Stick around for those continuations on romantic disaster, if this sounds like you, too.

I'm talking about:

Partner choice: Musicians, narcissists, and addicts

Emotional codependency

Mistrust

… That turns into willful blind belief of their words

Inadequacy

Parenting analogues

Authority figures & disappointment

Misdirected commitment

Learned helplessness

Partner choice: Musicians, narcissists and addicts

Who has bad taste in partners? Over and over and over again? It’s me! And probably a lot of you.

Maybe that’s not fair. Maybe they’ve been wonderful guys who just didn’t mesh well with my inner or outer world… but I can tell you, there have been some similarities, and they don’t bode well for a happy future together.

You know me by now. Difficulty connecting with “normal” humans, no interest in small talk, a huge fan of deep emotional honesty, a bit gritty and assholeish, tends to be repelled by anything too widely embraced by the general public, definitely comes with a difficult past, fears of the future, and ongoing challenges in the present.

So, who do you think I get along with? Ivy leaguers with stable, supportive families, an optimistic outlook, and a 20-year plan? Or equally messy and complex humans with a set of neuroses handed down from their unexamined early traumas that make them similarly bitter and disillusioned with life? Just… probably hidden from immediate sight.

Grown men who’ve responsibly built a life for themselves with ambition, personal insight, and balance? Or man-children who’re still figuring out that they can’t drink every night of the week if they want to be functional in life and financially sound? But... with their addictions hidden behind “an appreciation for fine whiskies” or a necessity to sample the craft beer they brew.

Independent, confident humans who have no problem running their own world like a boss and trust that I’m capable of doing the same, with integrity and respect? Or distrustful turds who need me to be in their sight, half-directing their lives at all times unless I’m aiming to be accused of cheating, lying, and being unable to care for myself? Only… they hide their controlling and aggressive tendencies behind go-with-the-flow facades in the beginning.

If you guessed “B” in all three examples, you are correct!

Plus... so, so many musicians. Like, the last 6 of them have either subscribed to guitar or drum camp. And that hasn't been a purposeful decision - those are just the men I get along with until we hate each other.

It's always a rapid connection, a mutual respect for our interests in the arts, and a shared shitty attitude that starts out directed at the world and ends directed at each other. So many emotions. So many ups and downs. So many proclamations of "I can't live without you!" until the day we run in opposite directions and never look back.

Is that a coincidence? Or are all musical folk a bit wild? I hate to generalize, but I can tell you with great amusement that if you start typing "Are all musicians..." into Google, it will autocomplete with "cheaters, narcissists, and crazy." It also suggests "rich," but I can tell you for a fact that isn't true. The narcissist thing... uh.... very well might be correct. But I'll leave that for someone else to study.

So, I don't know what to make of this trend. There do seem to be some commonalities between the musicians in my past life - and they do seem to be categorized by the instrument of choice. For instance, drummers are never concerned with my time, and guitarists are emotional catastrophes. But what do I know? Can't make sweeping conclusions... I, at least, need a larger sample size. With my track record, I'm sure I'll have the numbers soon enough.

Congratulations if you predicted nothing but unstable disasters in my past. It's true, I’m an idiot. Okay, that’s not fair. No inner critic talk. Get out of here, Pam and Karen.

The fact of the matter is, I am a terrible judge of character when I start sensing a connection. I tend to connect with people who have complicated lives and inner worlds, just like I do. And from what I can tell, that is always my downfall.

Challenging connections

Let’s go ahead and chalk this one up to never having close connections or support growing up.

You know what I always wanted, hoped for, and idealized as a kid? Someone loving me. Another human actually understanding my weirdness and signing on for more. The idea of a human who wanted to know what I thought and felt. The option of spending time with someone and feeling cared for. Also, somebody finding me attractive, instead of being repulsed by my ass-length ginger hair, flat chest, dorky hand-me-downs, bleach-stained horse sweaters, and buck teeth... also would have been a dream come true.

I’m pretty sure that growing up lonely didn’t help me in any regard when it came to my later-in-life relationship problems. Starving for connection apparently puts you in a state of deprivation, where you’re likely to think anything is better than the empty feeling inside. You know, just for the rest of your life or so.

To this day, if I meet someone and we’re able to converse without abundant clarifications or apologies for the prickly things that come out of my mouth as dry humor or unbendable opinions… we’re on a roll. If we can connect over shared perspectives on humans, life, and psychology… things are getting more serious. If we can honestly talk about the ways we’re horrible to ourselves and joke about our shared challenges in figuring out what the point of this shitty slip-and-slide of life is about… uh oh, this might be a real connection.

And so, it makes sense that I connect with all the most complicated people you’d ever meet. And we connect INTENSELY. I’m complicated, myself, and I look for folks who can accept it without their heads exploding. I’m never going to be happy holding conversations with Sports Bar Joe or Pretty Boy Blaine. They’re never going to understand the internal strife that dominates my world. I’m never going to understand how they can be all *happy,* *close with their families,* and *laid back about life.*

Gross. I can’t even say the words.

But give me the angstiest, most anxious, most misunderstood dude on the block, and we’re likely to get along swimmingly. We’ll talk over beers until the birds start to chirp. We’ll joke in our native tongues, playing with words, obscure references, and dry humor as if we’ve known each other for 25 years. We’ll share secrets about our tumultuous inner worlds and the ways that we can’t seem to get our heads on straight enough to keep our ships on course.

And the next thing you know, we’ll be incestuously connected with a somewhat false sense of intimacy that erupts out of the gates. “No one has ever understood me the way you do. I can really be myself around you. I’ve never had such easy conversations about this shit before.”

… That’s about the point when I lose all perspective. There’s a tunnel running from my face to this dude’s heart. I stop seeing things for what they are. I project a kinder, gentler, more well-intended personality on the subject of my feels. I quickly turn a blind eye to all the shit they’re doing that I wholeheartedly hate or otherwise cause my red flags to be unpacked.

I feel like I know them, inside and out. I feel like I can help them - like we can help each other - to sort through this dumb world we’ve been born into and all the circumstances holding us back. A real Sid and Nancy storyline emerges. No one gets him like I do. If only they could see the things I see. We’re just two broken souls who found each other, a little rough around the edges, but we see the diamonds underneath. And we’re in this battle together from now on.

Yeah, right.

Sooooo… This is how I wind up with the unpredictable narcissists who seem like nice guys, the secret addicts who keep their substance abuse hidden from everyone, and the emotional abusers who are ready to leverage my mental health admissions against me the first time they get the chance. Dudes who have highly emotional worlds and no idea how to deal with them. Men who don’t want to explore their own shortcomings and instead choose avoidant courses in life.

And, again, the musicians. So, so many musicians. I really am coming to think that they’re the most fucked up people of all - and that's saying a lot coming from me. Generally speaking, I've seen that there’s no sense of personal responsibility, an obsession with themselves, and a hidden inferiority complex that turns them into bitchy little dogs when they feel threatened. What’s with that, anyways? Can you guys try to be more original in your plight to be the most original?

Okay, anyways. Sorry to keep dragging on musicians.

The point is, my attempts at relationships start out on the wrong foot. Choosing the wrong partner is a pretty surefire way to dash all hopes for those fluffy ideals I mentioned earlier. No one is going to respect me, listen to me, or support me when they’re too busy dealing with their own alcoholism, abandonment issues, and narcissistic flailings… or, not dealing with them, to be more specific.

We aren’t going to be able to work through things when they’re consumed with being the king of the world, hiding from all negative emotions, and trying to keep their head away from analysing their own actions. Hell, it’ll be difficult to even find the time for serious talks, since they’re so busy traveling to band practices, hustling away for barely-paying gigs, and staring at their social media while they count the ways they’re victims of the universe.

Choose imbalanced, mentally ill, self-serving partners… get unhealthy, controlling, unpredictable relationships. Pretty goddamn obvious. And yet, I still can never seem to see the full picture of the human who’s caught my attention through the fog that’s created by the connection of our shared dysfunctions.

I guess this is where that, “love yourself and get yourself healthy first,” sentiment comes into play, so the connections don’t continue to be as disasterious as your personal experience is. Hopefully I’m on the right path in my own journey, at least. Also, a lot less starved for connection. I got y’all Motherfuckers in the Discord community, for starters. And I’ve become determined to live a life where I support myself and rely on no one outside of Archie’s snuggles, for finishers.

Step one: Be careful about who you deem a good person, just because you can share self-deprecating jokes about being nutjobs and similar musical interests. Learn to choose someone who isn’t an even trashier trash human than you are. It’s a start.

Emotional codependency

Hand in hand with forming connections that include deep emotional outpourings and admissions of all the dark things we hide from the light at our office jobs… comes codependency.

I’ve said it before and let me say it again… I didn’t understand codependency until very recently.

In my mind, it was akin to those creepy couples who won’t leave the house without each other, have the same friends, interests, and opinions on everything... and possibly wear matching cat shirts. Those people who never spend time with other humans because they're too busy being shoved up their partner’s ass. The folks who call to check in on each other throughout the day when they’re at work. Gag. Particularly, I imagined those pathetic girls who cry when their boyfriend is out of sight and post 12 pictures a day of them together.

Rightfully, I scoffed and insisted that I didn't have problems with codependency. That’s not me. But it turns out, this view isn’t quite right, so much as I was being an uninformed asshole.

Codependency doesn’t mean you’re a needy, incapable human being who sucks the life power out of someone else, like I used to think. Codependency is a two-way relationship defined by poor boundaries and non-existent emotional regulation. Two humans who see their experiences as one, all the way down to how they feel and how they deal with how they feel. (i.e. turning to their significant other for comfort and emotional control in a time of need instead of working through it by themselves). Relationships where the emotions are transferred from party to party until it's unclear who’s bringing what dish to the gathering. Waking up not knowing how your day is going to be, because it depends on how someone else feels about theirs. Emotional enablement city.

Oh, yeah, when you put it like that, I definitely have issues with codependency.

For me, the codependency is largely going to be emotional. In the past, I didn’t know how to have a relationship of any sort without having a third influence in the mix. There was the person, myself, and our shared emotions... that often called more shots than either of us did.

Because I tend to be on the empath scale (although I do everything I can to fight it out of defense), I think I’m naturally tuned into other people’s emotional and energetic states, for better or for worse. When someone walks into the room with a bad vibe, I feel it to my core. I become so uncomfortable that I take it on myself to try to “fix” the problem for them, and in doing so, I avoid the negative sensation, myself. This is negative reinforcement, if anyone wanted to ABA with me.

That being said, clearly if my boo is having a hard time… it’s not okay. They’re in a shit place and therefore so am I. I must do whatever I can to make it better. To sit down and talk in circles with them, if that’s what relieves some of their tension. To commiserate about how unfair the circumstances are. To validate the negativity that they’re projecting and wallowing in.

Don’t worry though, this goes the other way, too. In the past, I have fully expected my romantic partners to alleviate any inner discomfort that I’ve felt. If I was having a low-down day, I wanted them to cheer me up. If I was full of anxiety, I wanted them to find a way to release it. If I was frustrated with a work situation or coworker, I wanted them to be as angry and indignant as I felt.

So… I guess that doesn’t even sound too off-base to me, at least not when I’m leaning on my teenage expectations of what relationships are supposed to be. In my head, it was always completely ideal that I would wind up with someone who could essentially read my thoughts and comfort me like my family never did. I just wanted someone who would be by my side, thinking about me all the time, and working double time to make sure I was keeping my depression and anxiety on the up-and-up. Is that too much to ask? Uh… yeah, it is.

Maybe in a fairytale love story like the ones I saw in teenage romance movies growing up, this is the perfect way for two broken misfits to interact. “We’re both so damaged and hurt that no one has ever really seen us - but now we have each other to lick our shared wounds.” Yeah, romantic. Also really fucked up and dangerous in the real world.

The problem is, after a few months of this, it gets pretty hard to determine what’s my experience and what’s yours. The emotions become so transitive that it can be invigorating, immersive, overwhelming, and exhausting to be in each other’s company, depending on the day and the event. Living together or essentially sharing a residence makes it much worse - there’s no physical barrier between us, so that emotional barrier is even less existent. We don't have to try to text about our woes, we can just unleash them the moment we step foot in the door. Ready or not, your night is about to be ruined by my day, and vice-versa.

How does this go wrong? Uh, let’s count the ways.

1. My emotional management was never up to par, in the first place. Having your feelings catapulted my way effectively pushes me off the balance beam that I was already wobbling on. If I was having a difficult day but holding it together on my own through coping techniques and reasonable thinking - fucking forget it, that’s over now. We’re both in a shitty state now. Great. In the context of trying to recover from mental health issues… yeah, it’s a fucking disaster. Being retriggered by your partner or sucked into a depressive undertow when you’re trying to make positive change is a losing battle.

2. I never learned how to cope with my own emotions. There was generally someone else for me to hurtle them at, and our subsequent hours of bitching would give me the comfort I was looking for. I didn’t need to learn to manage my feelings - I always had a glorified babysitter to keep me alive. I never had to be accountable for my inner world. I never had to look at things with logic or reason. I could let myself spiral and trust that my best friend or boyfriend would catch me before I slipped down the drain.

3. It becomes impossible to talk about issues - personal or shared. When you’re already sharing emotions there’s an explosive effect when conflict is brought up. Neither one of us knows how to handle our shit, we expect the other person to hold us up with kid gloves, annnd now that person is the source of my distress? We’re both completely beside ourselves, upset, hurt, and angry… and it’s towards each other? Now who the fuck do we call? There's a huge sense of confusion and betrayal. No one has the skills to de-escalate the argument or return to a normal emotional state.

4. How do you break up when half of your existence is in the body of another human? You can’t mentally or emotionally separate yourself from them. Physically separating yourself feels like ripping out a few of your organs and leaving them on the streets. And, who’s going to keep you afloat when you’re going through the pain of the break up? That’s the job of your partner, afterall… can’t have a vacant desk sitting here. It’s best to just suck it up and stick with it. No one would understand what you’ve both been through together, anyways.

In a word, that’s codependency.

Not what people think it is. Not what our culture describes it as. Not so easy to spot until you’re educated and honest with yourself… plus, probably viewing things through the lenses of hindsight.

Definitely a sneaky recipe for disaster when you let it take over a well-intended, emotionally transparent, highly connective relationship. And, Motherfuckers, I’ve always tended to.

Head to t-mfrs.com for more!

#cptsd #healcptsd #just cptsd things #cptsdsurvivor #cptsdwarrior #cptsd problems #cptsd romance #trauma #ptsd #childhood ptsd #childhoodtraumarecovery #healingcomplextrauma #relationships

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responsiveparenting · 3 years

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Raised by a Narcissist “Those who were raised in a home with a narcissist may find themselves empathizing and even glorifying the behaviour of other narcissists. While others are shocked and appalled by the narcissist’s behaviour, the child of a narcissist may see this behaviour as a sign of power and deserving of respect.” J. Milburn #responsiveparenting #jmilburn #narcissisticabuse #innerchildhealing #empathyispower #criticalthinking #healingjourney #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumarecovery https://www.instagram.com/p/CN5ekg9nSzj/?igshid=1pz6vzwlbeooz

#responsiveparenting #jmilburn #narcissisticabuse #innerchildhealing #empathyispower #criticalthinking #healingjourney #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumarecovery

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letstalkaboutit-val · 3 years

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#childhoodtraumarecovery (at Berwyn, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMCwNMMDHY9/?igshid=1l6onomiy06pv

#childhoodtraumarecovery

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multilingualbbg · 3 years

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I always have people tell me I look older than I actually am. Go to the last slide and you‘ll see why. #trauma #traumarecovery #suicide #suicideprevention #suicideawarness #troubledteen #troubledteenindustry #troubledteens #troubledteenindustrysurvivor #troubledteenagers #cult #cults #therapy #therapycult #selfimprovementcult #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumasurvivor #childhoodtraumarecovery #childhoodtraumaawareness #childhoodtraumas #adolescenttrauma #adolescenttraumaandabuse #adolescenttraumaticexperienceawereness #teentrauma #violence #violenceisnottheanswer #violenceagainstwomen #violenceprevention #domesticviolenceawareness #domesticviolence https://www.instagram.com/p/CKrk-GPph9h/?igshid=1k3owggotcufd

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empressempathidi · 4 years

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Been every one of those. Tapped out. . Reposted from @latibulecounseling - And yet all these behaviors were developed to protect ourselves. They served a purpose, but are they still serving you now? ⁣ ⁣ In the next few postings, I will be taking about the different adaptations we develop due to childhood trauma. Many have asked about narcissistic behaviors/personality, why some stay in an abuse relationship or just personality “disorders” in general. I will try my best to explain them from an attachment prospective. Thank you for all your questions! ⁣ ⁣ #trauma #personality #narcissist #abuse #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumasurvivor #childhoodtraumarecovery #domesticviolence #couples #marriage #family #friends #selfcare #selflove #healing #traumabonding #attachment #parenting #attachmentstyles #childhood https://www.instagram.com/p/B6rNFd7F_2a/?igshid=15j2n541poq4s

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mentallyherede · 1 year

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ᴅɪғғɪᴄᴜʟᴛ ʀᴏᴀᴅs ʟᴇᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛɪғᴜʟ ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴs 💜💚 #mentallyhere #mentallyherede #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthquotes #mentalhealthcommunity #recovery #traumarecovery #childhoodtraumarecovery #healingjourney #healingisnotlinear #healingispossible #onestepatatime #essstörungrecovery #eatingdisorderecovery #anxietyawareness #depressionawareness #depressionsurvivor #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthrecovery #bingeeatingrecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #ptsdrecovery #recoveryjourney #recoveryisalifelongjourney #bulemiarecovery #selfharmawareness #selfharmrecoveryispossible #abuserecovery https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp-uvoADmnX/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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ccarriganphotos · 1 year

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Medical intuitive healer Catherine Carrigan interviews author Jennie Weaver about the nine childhood traumas and how to recover from them. To watch the interview please visit this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHdAdmZVuaI Questions addressed in this interview include: What do you mean when you use the term "childhood trauma?" What are the nine primary childhood traumas? Can you describe the lifelong impact of experiencing childhood trauma? How can siblings help each other in healing from childhood trauma? What does it take to “break the cycle” of intergenerational trauma? What are the primary survival roles a person may have learned in childhood? How can we develop a healthy relationship with our parents after childhood abuse? When is it healthy or ok to cut off an abusive parent? How can someone establish healthy boundaries with an abusive parent? Why is it essential to stop the cycle of abuse for true healing to begin? What natural healing methods have you found most helpful in recovering from abuse? #abuserecovery #adversechildhoodexperiences #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumarecovery #childhoodtraumahealing #naturalhealing #naturalhealth #medicalintuitive #medicalintuitivehealer https://www.instagram.com/p/CkdgK93uPZ_/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#abuserecovery #adversechildhoodexperiences #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumarecovery #childhoodtraumahealing #naturalhealing #naturalhealth #medicalintuitive #medicalintuitivehealer

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mentallyherede · 1 year

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It's a long & hard journey but be proud of what you already achieved 💜💚 #mentallyherede #mentallyhere #mentalhealth #mentalhealthquotes #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthcommunity #achieved✔️ #mentalegesundheit #journey #mentalhealthjourney #mentalhealththerapy #traumrecovery #healingisnotlinear #healingispossible #healingisaprocess #childhoodtraumasurvivor #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumaawareness #childhoodtraumarecovery #seeingatherapistisok #healingprocess #recoveryprocess #itshard #igotthisfar #beproudofyourself #mentalhealthrecovery #traumarecovery #mentalegesundheitzählt #mentalgesund https://www.instagram.com/p/Conk64wNXyN/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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mentallyherede · 1 year

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💜💚 #mentallyhere #mentallyherede #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealtcommunity #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #endthestigmaofmentalillness #depressionawareness #Depression #anxietyawareness #angststörung #therapieistkeintabu #zurtherapiegehenistinordnug #therapyquotes #eatingdisorderawareness #esstörung #esstörungrecovery #esstörungenbekämpfen #trauma #childhoodtrauma #childhoodtraumarecovery #kindheitstrauma #kindheitstraumabewältigung #kindheitstraumaheilen #dasinnerkindheilen #traumahealing #traumarecovery #traumabewältigen #sa (at Mentally Misunderstood) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqGzVXcDZbz/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=