#cause i had tried to kill myself in jan and she was going out to california for college

[captain-waddles]

First Mabel doodle of 2024

#mabel pines #my art #gravity falls #this was a 2hr “i cant sleep” 3am phone doodle in bed lol #my bestist most favorite special little blorbo #shes just like me fr #i need to schedule an appointment to get my shooting star tattoo recolored cause its faded #its still nice and pastel but i kinda want the bright colors back yk? #for a tattoo thats a little over 6yrs old its still held its color quite well #i got it with my best friend in 2017 after we graduated hs #she got dippers pine tree and i got ma els shooting star #cause i had tried to kill myself in jan and she was going out to california for college #it was a reminder that no matter how far apart dipper and mabel will always be togther #that no matter what happens she will always be there for me and me her cause shes the dipper to my mabel and theyll always find eachother

[enneadau]

In which a part of history is unveiled...

Jan 7th 1999

Starting back at school was a massive bomb of banality after the fun of the last week and the excitement of working on her own space in her home. As such Yugi found herself struggling to concentrate in class.

This was not helped by the fact that she could see Ba-Khu-Ra stood behind the teacher mimicking her in the most disrespectful way she could, apparently as bored with mathematics as Yugi was. Amane was as distracted as Yugi was, though she had brought palm to forehead quietly, displaying her displeasure and was trying not to feed the troll by paying her attention.

‘You know you’re going to get me in trouble if I start laughing?’ The white haired, half English, half Japanese girl asked her darker half.

‘It’s not you I’m trying to get in trouble.’ The reply was followed by the most overdramatic impression of the teacher she could manage, one that earned her exactly what she was aiming for.

“Mutou Yugi!” The teacher snapped, having heard the quiet giggle that had escaped the Queen of Games, causing the girl to wince. “If you think the lesson is so funny, maybe you can complete all of chapter twelve by the weekend.”

“But…”

“Do you want me to add chapter thirteen?”

“No Sensei.” Yugi shook her head rapidly and stared down at her workbook, trying to ignore the slightly malicious chuckle from the other spirit.

‘I’ll handle this.’ The Spirit of the Puzzle emerged from her item and glowered at the Spirit of the Ring before nodding towards the door. From the smirk that twisted her lips, Meisa could tell her anger amused the other spectre, which did not help her mood at all as the pair walked or stalked into the hallway, straight through the door.

Literally.

“Was that quite necessary?” Meisa demanded the moment the pair were alone.

“Of course, it was.” The Thief replied as she leaned against the nearest wall, “She needs to learn how to keep a straight face. I was just doing her a favour, like I used to do for you.”

Meisa straightened and her eyes widened, “Wait what?”

The Thief Queen let out a chuckle, “Oh of course, you wouldn’t remember. I used to sit in the rafters of your palace and try to distract you, back when you were foolish enough to trust me as your Shadow. If I could make you laugh, then you had to pay a forfeit. Normally a couple of gold pieces.”

The Pharaoh could not help the pleased smile that grew on her face at the small story of their shared past, though she was curious, “You were my Shadow? What did that mean?”

The thief paused and tilted her head, thinking for a moment, then nodded, “I suppose filling you in on that will help you understand just how much I thought you trusted me. Before your men tried to kill me of course.”

“It was not my orders, you know that.”

“I know what you claim the Necklace Bearer saw and the words of a man who loved you enough in Egypt to lie to everyone. Forgive me if I wait to see for myself what truly happened.”

Meisa nodded her acknowledgement. That was a fair decision, even if it grated slightly.

The huff Ba-Khu-Ra let out suggested she had expected much more argument, but the Pharaoh did not want to spoil her talkative mood.

“As Pharaoh there were certain things you couldn’t do. Illicit information gathering for example. You needed someone the Lords didn’t know, someone who was loyal enough to die for you…”

“Ba-Khu-Ra…”

“I nearly did die.” The woman in question looked away, her hands balling into fists, “I honestly thought that you were having me dragged back as a show. That I’d be thrown in prison for a week or two, I’d be ‘repentant’ and you’d set me free. That we’d follow the same act we had followed before. That we’d laugh about it later in our… your bed chambers… right up until the moment a sword plunged into my side. Then, well, it was Zorc or death and I wasn’t ready to die.”

“I’m sorry…” Meisa breathed, her face pale, her own hand going to her right side as the thought of a blade piercing it made her flinch.

She had not missed the implications of ‘our bed chambers’ but did not know what to say. The Pharaoh she had been, was not the spirit she was now. Nor was Ba-Khu-Ra the same thief the Pharaoh had apparently fallen for in the past. They were both so different now, she did not know if what they had been could ever be recovered. Or if either of them would ever want it to be.

“If you’re truly not at fault, you have nothing to be sorry for. Except for the stupidity of your men for falling for someone else’s schemes.” The thief shrugged, though Meisa could easily see she was more bothered than she was trying to let on, “And if you are at fault, it’s far too late for sorry.”

“Anyway, story time is over. I won’t poke your brat again today though. It’s less fun when you’re expecting it.” The white-haired spirit pushed herself away from the wall and vanished, probably back into the Ring.

Full of confusion and trying to understand why her heart ached, Meisa followed suit and slipped back into the Puzzle.

#casteshipping #yami yugi #fem!yami #fem!yami bakura #ennead #history #time skip

[babyspiderling]

Tiny Dancer p.2

"Just stare into space, picture my face in your hands. Live for each second without hesitation"

"Janet, you can't tell anyone about this." Michael tells her, focused on damage control. Janet fires back without hesitation. "The hell you mean I can't tell anyone? Marlon owes me ten bucks now." I roll my eyes, patting Michael on the back. "Mike,I'm sure your brothers are looking for you. I don't think we want anyone else listening in on this conversation anyways. I'll talk to Jan, ok?" He glances back and forth between his younger sister and I, a concerned look deep in his face. He sighs out an "Ok, fine." and heads back to his dressing room. I turn back to the youngest Jackson. "Listen Jan, I only want what's best for Mike. If it were up to him, and if the circumstances were different, you'd be the first to know on purpose. The world may be changing fast, but we've got a long way to go. The media would flip if word got out that The Michael Jackson was with not only his seamstress, but a white chick at that. Not to mention your father. God, he would kill us if he found out. He'd fire me and i'd never see Michael or any of you again." I deflate in front of her eyes, letting myself show vulnerability to the fifteen year old. "I really do love him Janet. I can't lose him, but I can't just let him risk losing his career over me. I'm the reason we're a secret. Michael is a glass half full person, always trusting and seeking out the positive, but I see what is going to happen if we enter the world of the limelight." When I look into her eyes, her head is cocked to the side, studying me. "Alright, I see where you're coming from. I know Joseph, and you're probably right. Just don't hurt Mike. He's my favorite after all." I nod, relieved that she understood where we are coming from. "I promise to tell you everything you want to know later ok? Maybe at the hotel or while I'm patching up something that the boys unsurprisingly ripped up." Janet giggles, and we make our way back to the rest of the group.

I lay down in the linen sheets of the hotel bed, needing to sleep to be able to get up in the morning to fix a couple of loose buttons and worn knees. I hold a pillow close to myself and let myself float away to dreamland.

The creaking of my door opening stirs me from my slumber. I prop myself up on my elbow, turning on the lamp. "Mike? What's going on?" He's in pajamas, and his hair is mussed. He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, and murmurs out a "Couldn't sleep." I huff and fall back onto the bed. "Fine, get in here. You said so yourself that you sleep better with someone than alone. We've both got an early morning and it's already... 2 AM." His bare feet shuffle across the hotel carpet and the bed slightly creaks as he climbs in next to me. Once he's gotten comfortable, I lay my head on his chest and wrap an arm around him, succumbing to the exhaustion filling my bones.

I wake up to my alarm, letting myself give in to Michaels grip and the temptation to hit the snooze button and spend an extra few minutes in the warmth and security his arms provide. I snuggle close to him and doze off. Once again the door opens up, but I shrug it off, thinking it to be Janet. Instead of her girlish squeal of embarrassment, I hear a masculine shout of surprise. The sharp cry from Randy shocks us both awake. The second youngest Jackson wears an expression of both surprise and smugness. "I knew it! I knew something was going on between you two! Mike, my man, congrats. I knew you'd get her eventually. Now tell me, when did this all start out?" As Michael and I rubbed the sleep from our eyes, Randy had made himself comfortable on the small couch nearby, his chin in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. Groaning, I pull myself out of the bed, tugging my shirt down so I don't flash Randy. I pat Michaels shoulder and groan out: "You're taking this one. I talked to Janet last night and I have to get ready. Jackie tore his shirt last night and I've got to make him a new one. Who tears their shirt in the middle of their chest like that?" I sit on my heels to grab my things and head to the bathroom to get dressed.

Finished with make-up, I tie my hair back in a high ponytail. Combing through my hair, Michael enters to get ready himself. "So, how'd it go?" He shrugs a little and reaches for the extra toothbrushes the hotel offers. "Randy promised to keep it a secret until we tell everybody else. He was a little surprised that we've been together since Destiny. He thought it was a recent development, not a three year old relationship." Securing my hair one last time, I turn and smile at my lover. "Well, at this rate, Randy only has to keep it a secret for another 5 days. Go ahead and schedule out a lunch or something for your mother. I want her to know that I love her son more than anything else, and I don't want to keep him a secret anymore. But you have to promise me that if this whole thing goes wrong, your career comes first. You have worked your entire life for this, you are living your dream life, don't throw away your dream for me." He chuckles a bit, and rests his forehead against mine. "If this whole thing goes wrong, I'll hire you again myself. You'll be my personal costumer/seamstress. And no one will be able to get rid of you." I giggle and give a peck to his mouth. "Alright toothpaste lips, finish up and get back to your room. I'm sure you can't go to sound check in your pajamas. And send Janet and Randy back to me. I need her input on somethings and I'm sure Randy has more questions." He finishes up and goes back to his room, the two youngest Jacksons coming in not too much later.

"Alright guys, I'm gonna work some because that is what I'm here to do, but I can answer your questions at the same time." I lay out the fabric on the round table in the room as the two sat down on the couch. They both started talking at the same time, but stopped soon enough. Janet spoke first. "When did this start? How did this start?" I smile at the fabric and respond. "Even when I was growing up, I thought that Michael was the most handsome boy on the planet. But when I started working with you guys 4 years ago I decided to remain professional. This was my dream career and I would not jeopardize it over a celebrity crush. Michael and I became friends not long after, and I actually pushed him away in the beginning. I was so scared that either of us would get attached and it would risk our professional lives. During the music video for Shake Your Body, I was joking around with Marlon and Michael got all huffy. He ranted a little bit and ended up kissing me. It didn't take long until we started actually dating." I flip the fabrics so that the shirt is inside out and pin it together. I move to my machine, and Randy asks: "Why keep it a secret? It's not like anyone here doesn't like you?" I adjust the needle to where I need it and lower the presser foot. "Well, we as a society may have come a long way, but not everyone is going to agree with the fact that Michael Jackson, global superstar, chose to date his seamstress, and then the fact that it's a biracial relationship will send a whole other group into a frenzy. He worked so hard to be where he is, to live his dream, and I felt that if we released our relationship to the public, it could cause a lot of backlash his way. Plus I'm pretty sure that if Joseph found out about us, he'd see me as a distraction, turning his son against him. He'd fire me in an instant. I'd probably never be able to see any of you again. Now that it's suddenly impossible to keep us a secret anymore, we're going to tell Ms. Kathrine soon. Michael is going to schedule it today, and we'll tell her then." Once the two are done with their questions, Janet turns on the radio and we just have a good time until Randy needs to head to the venue. Janet and I finish up, double checking over everything before we accidentally forget anything at the hotel.

We make it to the venue early enough that we make it backstage, and I watch the boys rehearse and just do their thing. Randy meets my eyes from his place behind the bongos, and he sends me a wink. I make my way to the dressing rooms to replace what I fixed for the second night in New York. As I replace the red floral print shirt in Michael's dressing room, my lover walks in. His hair is a little wet from sweat and he has a thin sheen of sweat covering his skin. I giggle as he does his best to freshen up. "I'm glad you don't do sound check in costume. I'd have to make an outfit for every night of the tour, since you guys sweat so much." He sticks his tongue out at me, and then has a mischievous look in his eyes. He turns and creeps towards me, his arms wide to catch me if I tried to escape him. I back away slowly, "Michael, don't do this! I'm a nice person! I just took a shower!" I go to make a break for the door but he catches me and pulls me close, squeezing me tight and rubbing his sweaty face and body all over me. "Michael Joseph Jackson! I'm going to kill you! I'll put you in an outfit from '68!" He just giggles in my ear, enjoying my shrieks and squirms. "No you won't, you love me too much." I push at his arms, trying to get out of his grip. "Not anymore! Randy's my new favorite member!" He bites at my earlobe teasingly, his breath fanning over the shell of my ear, his voice dropping from the usual airy high pitch he speaks in. "Are you sure about that, girl?" I shiver and stutter at the distraction, "Fine, you called my bluff. Now can you please let me go? I need to know when we're telling your mother." Reluctantly, Michael loosens his grip enough for me to grab the towel he used, wiping my own skin down, and I rummage through my purse for my bottle of vanilla. Michael takes a seat and smiles at me. "Girl, you know I get hungry when you wear that stuff. Smelling all sweet and stuff." I chuckle and apply the vanilla to key points. "Tell you what. When we go out to tell your mother I will buy you any dessert you want after." I watch from the mirror as he lifts himself from his seat and slots himself behind me, his mouth close to my neck, and even closer to my ear. He gives a teasing squeeze to my backside and murmurs in my ear: "What if I want you to be my dessert?" I turn in his arms, and deliver a light slap to his shoulder. "Michael! What is with you? You've never been so... forward." He just chuckles and steps away. "Maybe I'm just excited I can finally show you off to everyone. Oh, and we're meeting Mother at lunch tomorrow. I've gotten a reservation for the three of us at Mortimer's. I heard they're really good." I nod and glance down at my wrist watch. "Oh, wow! I've got to make sure Jackie's shirt fits for tonight. Break a leg if I don't see you. And I'm excited to have lunch with your mother. I love you!" I give him a peck on his perfect lips and head out the door. Michael catches my wrist before I can leave and pulls me back to him, giving me a real kiss to make up for my quick peck. I giggle as we break away for oxygen. "Alright love machine, I seriously have to go." I hurry out of his dressing room and down to Jackie.

I've never been so nervous in my life. I have no reason to be nervous. Kathrine doesn't dislike me, in fact she and I have had amazing talks between fittings and shows. But maybe after she finds out that I've stolen her son's heart, her opinion of me will change? If she doesn't approve, will Michael leave me? He is an absolute mommas boy. "Babe, relax. Mother absolutely adores you, and I do too. Everything is going to be absolutely fine. I promise." Michael squeezes my thigh in reassurance, and I take a deep breath to calm myself down.

All three of us are seated at the table and our drinks are ordered. Michael holds my hand under the table, unsure himself how to start. "Mother, I have something to tell you, I am in love with the kindest, most beautiful woman in the world." Kathrine smiles a bit at this and urges her son to continue. "That's amazing honey. Who is it?" Michael and I glance at each other before Michael tells the Jackson Matriarch. "Well, Mother, it's Y/N. She and I have been together for almost 3 years now." There's a mix of emotions on her face, and she opens her mouth, trying to figure out what to say. "Well, Michael, honey, I am so happy you found someone. You deserve to be happy. I just can't understand why you wouldn't tell anyone for all that time." I sigh, opening my mouth. "Ms. Katherine, that's my fault. I wanted to keep our relationship under wraps because Michael has worked so hard to be where he is and I didn't want to be a reason for him to receive backlash. I also knew that Mr. Jackson eliminates any distractions for the boys. I know it sounds selfish, but I would have rather kept him my little secret and not have to give him up than show him off and risk losing not only my job, but the love of my life. I know now that telling you about our relationship is going to make Michael happy, and if his happiness means I am seen as a distraction and the consequences that go with it, so be it. I regret not telling you sooner, and for that I am truly sorry." Katherine listens the entire time with soft eyes, listening to every word I say. Michael grabs my hand on the table and gives it a proud squeeze. Once again Katherine opens her mouth and what she says next almost brings me to tears. "Oh, Y/N. understand. I see you truly care about my son, putting his career before your happiness, and then his happiness over your career. I know that that is not an easy decision, and it really shows just how much you care about him. Now, I won't sugar coat anything, but not everyone will approve of your relationship. A white woman and a black man together won't be the easiest thing for people to accept but you have to remember that it is your happiness, no one else's." I felt like all the weight had been lifted off my shoulders after that. We ate lunch and enjoyed the streets of New York. After Katherine had gotten into her car, I turned to Michael. "Alright, what do you want for dessert?" Pulling me into the back of the car, he placed me in his lap. "Hmm, something sweet, a little spicy... I'll have... you."

Taglist: @accio-boys​

#michael jackson #michael jackson imagine #michael jackson x reader #80s imagines #80's imagine #80's x reader #80's fanfiction

[aidoneus-and-persephoneia]

Soap Opera

Language: English

Rating: Teen: Language, Drama, Fake Violence,

Genere: Parody, Drama

Time: Jan 4th 2022

Status: One Shot

Pairings: None

Characters: Hera, Echo, and Goatman who became a Bird.

Additional information: The Sleazy Goatman has a good taste in TV shows.

"You should have died in that fake leaf blower accident!" Lois yelled as she pulled the trigger.

"Hello Lois. It seems as if you tried twice now to kill me. And failed both times." Alistair says.

A dramatic pause and matching sound effects plays.

He then appeared from the other side of the house.

"Alistair?! You but that means!"

A dramatic pause and matching sound effects plays.

"Alec!" Lois yelled as she approached her limp lover.

"I shot the wrong twin!"

A dramatic pause and matching sound effects plays.

"No. You loved the wrong twin. You married me and yet you still went on to have an affair with my brother."

"You're wrong." Lois says as she stands up causing Alec's body to slip to the ground then she turns her back towards Alistair. "I married the wrong twin." She does a dramatic turn to face her husband.

A dramatic pause with matching sound effects plays.

"The only reason I married you was for the Arie fortune! And when I realized that you were the younger of the brothers I had to change my strategy."

A dramatic pause and matching sound effects plays.

"Strategy? I'd hardly call that a strategy Lois. All you did was seduce my bird-braided brother into sabotaging the Leaf Blower. Planning that after I died you could marry him. Have a child or something out of the relationship as to not look suspicious and then kill him discreetly."

A dramatic pause and matching sound effects plays.

"What! I would never!" Lois says as she takes afew steps back stepping over Alec's body then she lights a cigarette. "Repeat myself. That is far to suspicious. Instead I was going to frame him for your murder and report him three years into our marriage so that I have a valid excuse for a divorce. After all everyone knows that Alec is dumber than a box of rocks. And so when I demanded that no prenup was signed he agreed without question! Honestly Everything would have worked out perfectly if you just stayed dead!"

"Does everyone see me as an Idiot?!" The once limp Alec says as he sits up.

A dramatic pause and matching sound effects plays.

"Alec!" The couple exclaimed in horror.

"Lois! I thought. Nay, I believed that you truly loved me! How could you do this do this to me. And you Alistair, My own flesh and blood, I never planned on you dying. Thats why I rigged it only enough to harm you. I thought that you were my rival. But, instead we were bewitched by this whore!"

A dramatic pause with matching sound effects plays.

"How aren't you dead!" She demanded

"I was beginning to become suspicious that you didn't share my affections. When my twin returned from the dead."

A dramatic pause with matching sound effects plays.

"After overhearing that you intended on shooting Alistair in the chest I took action."

A dramatic pause with matching sound effects plays.

"I put a blank in my revolver and fake blood packets in my pockets."

A dramatic pause with matching sound effects plays.

Does Alec and Alistair makeup? What about Alistair or Alec and Lois? Is seams as if this Love Triangle is so strong that only the Erotes could have been responsible for it! And what about the other cast of characters? How will Romano take the news that his mother is a attempted murderer? Will Deianira and Theodore ever end up together? Tune in next time to find out. Until then you've been watching The Crazy and The Beautiful.

"Your Majesty, I think we should leave this dingy place." Echo says as she turns the television off.

"Yes! We definitely should. I need at least three showers after I get home from this filth."

"I didn't realize it was such filth since you've been in my establishment for the past hour!"

"Silence Duck! I was intrigued with the show. Nothing more! Now be a good birdie from now on! Let's go Echo."

"Of course your Highness." Once the two of them leave the hostel. "What was that shows name again? I kinda liked it. Also, where were all the ads?"

"I think that between every dramatic effect that an ad would normally play. The show was from the 90s so I bet he was watching it on some kind of cassette tape collection. I can search for a copy of it for you if you would like."

"Yeah I think I would like that alot."

[AN: I feel like this one is shorter than the earlier ones only because nothing happens with any of the actual characters. But I had a genuine blast with this one.]

[myveryownfanfiction]

Chapter 1

I walked into the office the next day and settled into my seat at the desk. Robert walked in and smiled at me as he passed me. Smiling back, I started to get to work. Before I could get started, the camera crew grabbed me for a one on one interview in the annex.

“What do I think of Robert California?” I repeated the producer's question for the video. I thought for a second before smiling. “I think it takes a little while to get used to him. I think that he’s actually really nice and even though he could be a little crass, once you get past it he’s a really nice person who knows a lot about sales and managing.” 

“So you got to know him last night?” The producer asked, smiling since they knew they had footage of us leaving the building late. 

“Yeah. I got to know him a bit last night.” I laughed. A commotion in the office made me get up and head back out. Kevin was planking on Dwight’s desk and Dwight had enlisted Darryl and Jim in trying to move him. “Guys! Guys! Guys!” I called as I ran out. “You’re gonna hurt yourselves. Chill. Let me handle this.” I walked over to my side of the desk and crawled under. I popped up in the middle and leaned down. “Hey Kev? If you stop planking and get off Dwight’s desk I’ll bring in that chocolate cake you love tomorrow.” Kevin didn’t move and I stood back up. “Ok Kev. No cake for you tomorrow.” I squared my stance and braced my back leg against my desk. “Last chance Kev.” I put one hand on Kevin’s shoulder and one on his hip. I smiled up at the guys that had been trying to lift him as I gave one big shove and Kevin rolled off of the desk. The guys jumped back as Kevin landed with a thud on the floor. Everyone looked up and Robert came out of the conference room to see what had happened. Andy entered the office at that moment. 

“What’s going on?” He asked as he took in the scene that was playing out. 

“Kevin was planking on my desk.” Dwight said. “(Y/N) solved the problem.” I mock bowed before going back under my desk and popping back up on the other side. Robert was laughing as he went back into the conference room and Andy waved Dwight into his office. I went back to the annex to finish up my interview. 

“So yeah. He’s not that bad a guy. He works out of the conference room about half the time. When he takes a break, he does these walks around the office. But you never know who he’s gonna zero in on for these small-talks. Some people just hope it isn’t you. And yet, you hope it is you. Everyone thinks it’s strange.” The producer nodded to let me know my interview was over and I went back out to my desk. I saw Robert was already starting his walk around the office. Today he seemed to have settled on Erin, even though I knew she had only caught his attention because she was waiting for him. 

“That’s how every day’s begun, for everyone, since the dawn of man.” I caught the tail end of their conversation and snickered quietly to myself. I watched as Andy came out of his office to save Erin. They were dating, as far as anyone knew, so it was kind of sweet that he was trying to save her. Andy succeeded and the two of them went back into Andy’s office. I started working on my client list for the day when Erin tried to get my attention. 

“(Y/N). (Y/N). Psst. (Y/N).” I turned around to see her frantically waving me over. I got up and walked over. 

“What’s….” I paused as I looked at the notebook in her hands, recognizing Robert’s handwriting on the page. “Jim. Pam.” I waved them over. 

“What is this?” Jim asked as he motioned to the list. 

“I don’t know. But I know that if Robert caught us with this, he’d be pissed.” I whispered. I kept looking at the door to Andy’s office, hoping that he could distract Robert long enough so we could figure this out. 

“(Y/N).” Jim whispered back as he turned the journal towards me. I cocked my head and gazed at the list of names that was written down both sides of the paper. 

“I don’t…” I glanced up at the office door again. “I don’t understand.” I looked up at Jim who just shook his head. 

“What are you looking at?” Dwight butt in. I quickly tried to quiet him down so we wouldn’t be caught. 

“It’s nothing.” Jim said equally as loud. 

“It can’t be nothing.” I shot a glare at Dwight. 

“Yeah, it can’t be nothing.” Phyllis backed him up. I sighed and gave in.

“It’s a list of our names, split into two columns.” The office broke into a commotion which I was able to quiet fairly easily. “Okay, just wait one second. I’ll copy it. Do you have a pen?” I turned to Erin who shook her head. 

“No. I’ll take a photo of it.” Jim started to pat down his pockets. “Dwight, can you throw me my phone?” Dwight chucked the phone at the wall. 

“Nice catch.” Dwight rolled his eyes. I panicked for a second while my eyes snapped back to the office door. 

“If he comes out, distract him.” Pam said. Chaos ensued as Robert came out of the office. I walked around the reception desk, desperately trying to think of something to distract him with. I was partly saved by Phyllis falling out of her chair. As Dwight and Robert went to help her up, Pam snuck behind me and put the notebook back where we had found it. Robert smiled at me as he passed. 

“(Y/N), I’d like to talk to you after lunch today.” Robert informed. I smiled at him and nodded. 

“Whatever you say boss.” I joked as he walked into the conference room. I visibly sagged as the door closed. 

“Okay, which side of the list am I on?” Dwight broke the tense silence. I shook my head and sat back my desk. 

“Left.” Jim read out. 

“Yes!” 

“Why are you….” I started to question. “How do you know?” I sat staring at Dwight for a second before we were interrupted by Andy asking what we were doing. Once we explained, he looked over at me with a worried expression. 

“Really great list of names guys. Thank you so much. Good work.” He said sarcastically. 

“That was in Robert’s notebook.” I informed him as I stood up. I took my place next to Andy before starting to nervously crack my knuckles. 

“He left it at reception and we photocopied it.” Pam finished. Andy gave me a look. I just shrugged at him.

“I don’t want any part of this.” Andy shook his head and started to head back into his office. I went to follow him, quietly debating on asking about how his meeting went. I sighed when I heard the rest of the office talking about how it might be a list of people Robert was going to fire. “How could you let them just do that?” I closed the door behind me and turned towards Andy with a frantic look on my face. 

“You think if I knew what was going on I would have let them continue?” I whisper yelled at him. “Andy, if I had any idea that was what they were going to do, I would have stopped them. I would have taken the notebook myself and given it right back to him!” Andy sat down in his chair heavily.

“You know him better than I do. What do you think it is about?” I sat across from him and shook my head. 

“I don’t know him all that well.” I grumbled. “If I had to guess, it’s a list of high performers and low performers. Jan had one. David Wallace had one. Jo had one. Hell Ryan had one. It would make sense for Robert to have one.” Andy nodded and we sat in silence for a little while. Another commotion in the office caused us to emerge from our little sanctuary. 

“This is if we were all on a cruise ship and had to divide into lifeboats. Here’s something. Who would eat who in an ‘Alive’ situation. No that can’t be it.” Dwight was rambling on and judging by Pam and Erin’s faces, he had been going on for a while. 

“I gotta say. Kinda seems like the left side’s the side to be on. Me, Jim, (Y/N), Dwight, Darryl.” Andy read off of the noteboard that Jim had set up. “No offense Pam.” If looks could kill, Pam would have killed Andy. I went back to my desk and tried to get some work done while everyone else continued to work on the list. An hour later, they were still at it. Just a little more quietly. 

“Did you guys figure it out?” Angela asked as she walked up to my desk. 

“We couldn’t crack it.” Andy said, defeated. I rolled my eyes. 

“Go in there and just ask the man.” Stanley finally spoke up. I looked up at him to see him nod at me. “Better yet send (Y/N). He likes her already. That makes her more likely to get an answer than any of us.” I shook my head. 

“No thanks.” 

“Why not (Y/N)?” The chorus took up fairly quickly.

“For that reason.” I shot back. “He likes me. I’m in his good graces. I’m not screwing with that.” I hissed and quickly went back to work. 

“Then you do it Andy.” Phyllis suggested. 

“He’ll know we looked at his private notebook.” Andy whined. I rolled my eyes. 

“Then say you saw the list by accident.” I retorted. Andy glared at the back of my head. 

“I’m already working on this Columbus Day thing for you guys and it’s starting to stack up. Feels like al ot. One thing at time.” Andy looked around the room desperately. “Come on, (Y/N). You really won’t talk to him?” I shook my head and mimed zipping my lips. Andy sighed in defeat before going to the conference door and knocking. When Andy came back out, he was upset and switched his name from one side of the list to the other. I raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything about it.

“Looks like I made the right choice.” I muttered. Dwight nodded in agreement. Ten minutes before lunch, Andy tried one last time to rally us around finding out about the list. 

“Okay. Robert’s in the annex. Everybody think quick. What do these groups have in common?” I saved my work and started the walk to the annex. 

“Maybe we’re supposed to do it with people in our group.” Meredith spoke up. Jim shook his head. “People in the other group.” I rolled my eyes and hung back to listen to the bickering. 

“Stanley, you do puzzles all day. What do we got?” Andy tried. I looked at Stanley and waited for his inevitable joke. 

“Well, you take the first letter from each name, assign it a number, add them all up and shove it up your butt!” I started to laugh and Stanley turned in his chair to give me a high five. 

“Thank you. A little much needed comic relief. But we really need to figure this out guys.” I briefly thought about taking pity on Andy but then decided against it. 

“Here’s how we find out.” Dwight stood up and I shook my head as I leaned against the door. “Let’s line up and compare the lines, see if we learn anything. Left-siders over here. Right-siders, line up over here. Face each other. Match it by height and relative weight. Let’s just size each other up here and left side of the list ....” There was a pause. Dwight was waving me over to stand between him and Jim so I just shook my head. Dwight shrugged before turning his attention back to the two lines. “ATTACK!” A couple of the people in line ran at each other. 

“Wait, wait, wait! Stop! Stop! Stop!” Jim tried to break up the fight before it started. “Will you stop?”

“Dwight!” Andy tried to reprimand. I pushed off the wall as the door to the annex opened and Robert walked in. He stood next to me and pointed at the chaos. I shook my head as the others started to realize that Robert was in the room. 

“I’d like to invite the following people to join me for lunch.” Robert took out his notebook and read from the list. “(Y/N), Jim, Dwight, Angela, Darryl, Kevin, Toby, Phyllis, and Oscar.” I nodded as I started towards my desk and grabbed my keys. “(Y/N), you’ll be riding with me.” I nodded once as I put my keys back on my desk and waited for Robert to grab his stuff from the conference room. It was a quiet journey to the parking lot and Robert waited until everyone else was in their cars. He opened the passenger door for me and waited until I had gotten in before closing it. “I believe I promised you a ride.” Robert slid into the driver’s seat and started the car. He looked at me with a smile as I grinned at the roar of the engine. 

“I believe you did.” I responded, showing him my own mile wide grin. Robert smirked at me before reversing the car and tearing out of the parking lot. I let out a small yell of excitement, my hand hanging off the side of the car and my hair being whipped around by the wind. Robert laughed as he watched my excitement of being in a beautiful, fast car. We pulled up to the restaurant and saw the others waiting for us in a small group. Robert slowed down as he pulled into the lot and found a spot. Taking a second, I fixed my hair and got out of the car. 

“I take it you enjoyed the ride.” Robert teased as he put his hand on the small of my back and led me to the others. I nodded and put my hand on his shoulder. 

“That was amazing! Thank you so much.” I gushed. Robert chuckled as we reached the group and led us to our table. We all took our seats and Robert held out the chair next to him for me. I sat down and thanked him before looking at the menu. I caught Jim’s eye and couldn’t help the blush that formed on my cheeks as he looked at me like he knew something was up. Lunch was full of conversation about the typical life of the office and moved towards the personal lives of the people at the table. By the time we had finished and were finishing our drinks, we were fully immersed in our personal lives. 

“Jim, your daughter, Cecilia. What does she think of the street?” Robert asked as he leaned back in his chair and put his arm on the back of mine. Jim’s eyes flitted to me before settling back on Robert. 

“Uh, the street?” He asked, clearly confused by the question. 

“Sesame street.” I bit my lip to keep from laughing. This man was full of surprises apparently. Robert looked at me briefly before looking around the table, slightly confused by the confused looks he was getting. 

“Oh. I didn’t know anybody called it…. She likes it a lot. She loves Elmo.” Jim finally answered. Robert chuckled as he took a drink of his beer. 

“Elmo. God’s sake. It’s the Elmo era.” I sent a confused look across the table at Jim.

“Right.” Jim looked back at me with an equally confused look. 

“Sesame Street was created to reflect the environment of the children watching it. Complete self-absorption of Elmo is brilliantly reflective of our time. Ours is a cultural ghetto.” He put his glass back on the table and shifted in his seat. 

“Yeah, she does like Elmo.” Jim muttered as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Everyone agreed around the table before Toby got up.

“I should not be here. I’m in the. I was in the wrong. I’m sorry.” He apologized as he left. “Just picture me back there. I was never here.” I covered my mouth with my hand as I held back a laugh. Robert caught the action and smiled as he picked up his glass to cover his own laugh. I caught Jim texting under the table and caught his look of panic at being caught. 

“Pam?” I mouthed and Jim nodded subtly. I nodded and turned my attention back to the rest of the group. 

“You know, I feel comfortable enough now to ask you this question.” Dwight turned towards Robert. “What made you pick this group?” Robert shrugged. 

“I just think you guys are winners and I wanted to have lunch with you.” Robert shrugged, which caused his hand at the back of my chair to brush against my back. There was a collective understanding from the table. 

“Well, what about the other guys?” Phyllis asked. I nodded as I shifted in my chair. 

“Losers.” Dwight cut off Robert. I watched the panicked expression fly across Robert’s face before he tried to compose himself. 

“No.” He said, trying to cut off the inherent new class system that Dwight seemed hellbent on imposing once we returned to the office. 

“Come on.” Dwight pushed. 

“Dwight.” I warned. Robert looked at me before turning back to Dwight.

“I don’t.” He was pulling at straws now, trying to find the control he had at the beginning of the conversation. “I don’t wanna say.” Dwight kept pushing him even though Robert was shaking his head, making me lean on the table to look Dwight in the eye. 

“Drop it Dwight. That’s enough.” I ground out. Robert’s hand subtly fell onto my upper back and I straightened up. 

“Come on (Y/N).” Dwight teased, sensing the power dynamic between Robert and I. “Let the man answer.” I sighed and squeezed my hands into fists as Dwight won. Robert started to play with the collar of my shirt as he grew nervous about his answer. 

“Ha.” He let out a brief laugh. “I guess I think they’re losers.” Catching my eye, Robert bit his bottom lip. 

“I knew it!” Dwight exclaimed, gaining a little attention from the rest of the restaurant. “Yes! Woo!” 

“Probably shouldn’t have said that.” Robert added, seeing the look on my face. Jim’s jaw dropped and he rapidly texted Pam again. Everyone started to filter out, soon just leaving Robert, Jim, and me at the table. “I really shouldn’t have said that.” Robert told us as he ran his hand down his face. Putting my hand on Robert’s shoulder, I looked at Jim and bit my lip. 

“I just want to let you know that when we get back, it’s going to be a mess. Anyone that was at this lunch, aside from the two of us, is going to go completely nuts and run with being in the ‘winners’ group.” Jim said as he stood up. Robert looked up at him. “You will probably have to fix whatever it is that you just created.” I squeezed Robert’s shoulder and raised my hand to say goodbye to Jim as he left. 

“Did I just create a massive problem?” Robert asked me. I thought about my answer carefully.

“You did.” I responded. Robert groaned before letting his head fall back. “But,” I squeezed his shoulder again to get his attention. His head lolled towards me. I made sure that he was focused on me. “But it also created an opportunity for you to show Dunder Mifflin just how well you can run it. It’s an opportunity for you to prove that you are right for CEO and that you know how to get people to work harder and better.” Robert lifted his head back up and nodded slowly. 

“So you are saying let this play out. Let them fight amongst themselves and step in before it goes too far.” Robert said as it finally clicked. “Then everyone will at least accept me as CEO.” I nodded as Robert took in this information. “Why didn’t I pick you to be manager?” He joked as he pulled out his wallet to pay the bill. I laughed and did the same. 

“Because I didn’t want to be a manager.” I said, putting down a $20 bill. I held up my hand when Robert started to protest. “It covers my food and Jim’s. It’s the least I can do.” Robert nodded as he stood up. 

“Why pay for Jim?” he asked as he helped me out of my seat and led me back out to his car. 

“Because we gave you the least amount of trouble and I know that when we get back he’s going to give you the least amount of trouble.” I shrugged as we neared the car. “Besides, it means he owes me and that might come in handy when there is an issue that Andy, you, or me can’t handle in the office.” Robert laughed as he dug his keys out of his pocket. 

“Well put.” His smile grew as he finally got them out. Turning towards me, he held out the keys. “Wanna drive?” I gasped as Robert let the key dangle in front of my face. 

“Are you serious?” I asked as I took them. Robert nodded and made his way over to the passenger’s seat. I took my place in the driver’s seat and put the key in ignition. “Are you serious about this?” Robert nodded again with a smile growing on his face. “Absolutely sure?” I asked again. Robert started to laugh. “I’m just making sure because once I drive this car I might always ask to drive it.” Robert put his hand on top of mine. 

“(Y/N), I wouldn’t have given you the keys if I wasn’t serious.” I smiled at him. “I especially wouldn’t have let you get in the driver’s seat.” Grinning like an idiot, I reversed out of the spot and took off down the road back to the office. We were still laughing and enjoying ourselves when we walked into the office. Robert automatically went to the conference room while I took my spot at my desk. 

“Well, that was certainly an odd lunch.” Jim said. I nodded and tried to keep my smile down. “Is everything alright?” I looked over at Pam, whose eyes were red. I mean she had been crying all day from hormones but it seemed like she had been crying pretty recently. The three of us tried to ignore the other members of the office who were already getting into a fight over the losers comment that Dwight no doubt had already been spreading around the office. I had finally had enough and got up to go into Andy’s office. I caught the tail end of his talking head. 

“Metaphorically, of course. But now, it is my job and my prob.” I raised my hand to knock on the door when it opened. “(Y/N)?” Andy took one look around the room and sighed before turning back to me. “Did you need something?” I gestured around the room. 

“I was just going to ask you to something about this.” Andy nodded and went to the conference room. He knocked on the door. Robert opened the door and looked between me and Andy. 

“Hi, Robert? Can you come out here please? It’s really important.” Andy asked as he stepped to the side so Robert could take his spot next to me. “Just wanted to clarify something. Some people here are under the misconception that some people may be considered, uh, let’s say top-tier and others would be second-tier.” Robert sent a look at me before shaking his head slowly. 

“I never said that.” He seemed to be debating his options while Andy took it the wrong way.

“Thank you. Great.” Robert held up a hand and Andy stopped. I bit my lip as I waited for Robert to prove me right. 

“I said winners and losers.” Robert’s eyes drifted over me and landed on Andy. “Is that what you’re talking about?” 

“Oh, that, it might…” Andy stammered. “That might actually be what I’m thinking of. Can you clarify that?”  Robert’s eyes landed on me again and I nodded to tell him to go ahead with what we had talked about at the restaurant. 

“Let me tell you some things I find productive.” Robert turned to face the office, confidence easing into his voice. “Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Honesty.” His eyes met mine again and I couldn’t keep the pride off my face as I watched him take control. “I’ll tell you some things I find unproductive. Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social cues. And then, inevitably reframing it all in a reassuring way so that you can get to sleep at night. No, I do not believe that at all. If I invited you to lunch, I think you’re a winner. If I didn’t, I don’t. But I just met you all. Life is long, opinions change. Winners prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong.” He nodded and winked at me. I smirked at him as he went back into the conference room. 

“I guess that’s that.” Phyllis said as she went back to work. I nodded and went to sit back at desk. 

“No. No. No.” Andy gained my attention again. “(Y/N), the two of us are finally going clear this up.” 

“Andy. No.” I said. Andy took my arm and pulled towards the conference room. 

“We’re going in there.” He opened the door as I tugged my arm out of his grasp. 

“Fine. But I won’t like it.” I grumbled. We walked in and Robert looked up at us as if nothing was wrong. 

“I know that every time I talk to you things just seem to get worse. But, you don’t know these people and we do. And if we let you work with faulty information, well, then we’re not doing our jobs as managers. So, please take this pen and change your list.” Andy said. I backed up a couple steps and held up my hands. 

“I just want it on the record this is all Andy’s idea.” I said before miming zipping my lips. 

“I’m not going to change my list Andy.” Robert smirked at me. “And I don’t use ballpoint pens.” Andy sat down at the conference table while I took a seat behind him. 

“Well, then I will make a new list for you.” Andy grabbed a piece of paper and started a new list. “Stanley. You may think he’s a lazy grump, but did you know he has the most consistently high sales numbers of anyone in this office? And you may think he’s hard to love, but did you know that he’s in, not one, but two long-term relationships?” Robert looked over at me and I nodded. 

“I did not know about the sales figures.” He admitted. 

“Meredith Palmer. Supplier relations. The word no, not even in her vocabulary.” I bit back the smile that was threatening to spread across my face. Andy was finally coming into his own as manager and it was happening before my eyes. “And just to show you that I’m being fair. You had Gabe in the loser column. I think that is astute. Good call.” I chuckled as I nodded. “Pam, easily the most creative and kind person I have ever worked with.” I smiled and looked down at my lap. I could hear Jim and Dwight arguing in the office but I ignored them. “Erin Hannon, the receptionist and my closest confidant. A winner if there ever was one.” Looking back up at Robert, I noticed that he was also trying to keep the smile off of his face. 

“Are we done?” He asked when Andy had finally put down his pen. 

“Yes.” Andy got up to leave. “No! The Friday before Columbus Day, we’re gonna take a half-day, so that everyone can get a jump on the long weekend.” I watched Robert, waiting to see what he would say. 

“You want a three and a half-day weekend for Columbus Day?” Robert looked over at me. 

“We’ve always had them.” I stood up. “It just seemed like it would be good business to ask our new CEO before we just up and did it.” Andy nodded beside me. 

“And you two are aware that Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans.” Robert continued. I nodded while Andy started to walk to the door. 

“Don’t care.” Andy left the room and Robert smiled at him as he left. I stood there trying not to laugh. 

“I knew that.” I offered as I stood in the doorway. Robert looked up at me. 

“Did you?” He smiled. “Did you really?”

“I was a history major.” I winked at him as I left the office. Everyone was packing up already and some people were already walking out. I smiled at Andy as I gathered up my belongings. “Nice work Andy. You’re going to be pretty good at this manager thing.” Andy smiled at me as he locked up his office. 

“Thanks (Y/N).” He patted my shoulder. “You’re going to be pretty good at this assistant manager thing.” I smiled as I turned off my computer. “By the way, he likes you too.” Andy winked at me as he left the office. I stood by my desk, mouth agape at Andy’s comment. 

“Everything alright (Y/N)?” I jumped when I heard Robert’s voice. I shook my head to clear it and finished up packing. 

“Yeah. Sorry. Andy just said something that threw me off.” I chuckled as I put my bag over my shoulder. “You did really well with that little speech.” I bumped his shoulder as we entered the elevator and started our descent. 

“I thought I might have messed it up when Andy walked into the conference room.” Robert admitted. I shook my head. 

“You did great. Everyone was pretty impressed even if they didn’t want to admit it.” I reassured him. Robert smiled and squeezed my hand. 

“Thank you (Y/N).” Robert said as we exited the elevator. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed the back of my hand before heading to his car and taking off out of the parking lot. I got into my car and exited the parking lot myself. Getting home, I went through my normal evening routine. As I lay in bed that night, I couldn’t stop my mind from thinking about what Andy had said and what it could possibly mean. I fell asleep daydreaming about what I wished it would mean.

#james spader #james spader imagine #james spader fanfic #james spader fanfiction #james spader x reader #robert california #robert california x reader #robert california fanfic #robert california fanfiction #robert california imagine #the office #the office x reader #the office imagine #the office fanfiction #the office fanfic

[artificialqueens]

Not Like In The Fairy Tales (But Just As Beautiful) (Crygi/Jankie) - Chaoticnachokitten

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27419959

A/N: Heyy:)) I wrote this a few months ago and completely forgot to post it lol. Thanks to @cryshillz for giving me the idea for it and @aqtanawrites for beta-ing<3

Summary: Crystal is just your average high school student, (well, maybe except her makeup and outfit choices), friendly, dreamy and fairly popular. All she wants are her friends, One Direction songs, and maybe a fairy tale esque relationship. Everything would be perfect if it wasn't for that one girl that keeps staring at her with an expression that could kill...

Literally just your typical enemies to lovers high school au:)

It was 6am on a rainy Monday morning. Crystal woke up to the sweet tunes of 'What Makes You Beautiful' by One Direction. She had the habit of using a different One Direction song as her alarm clock every day.

Especially on Mondays she just needed a bit of extra motivation to get up and get ready for school, and that particular song never failed to make her smile, including today.

She slowly got out of bed, and walked up to her closet. It was a beautiful mess of almost offensively bright, colorful clothes. Crystal firmly believed that wearing as many colors as possible was helpful to stay positive all the time. 'Plain' or 'simple' clothing was something she liked to pretend didn't even exist.

Once she was done with picking out her outfit for the day, she went into her bathroom, preparing for her favorite part of her morning routine: her makeup. Firstly, she washed her face, and then applied some products that would hopefully protect her skin from what she was about to do to it. Then, she tried to find all of her needed makeup products. Unfortunately, she had a habit of trying out new looks constantly, and for some reason her products ended up being scattered in the entire bathroom. Her parents had given up on trying to keep the bathroom organized at this point.

After finding everything she needed, which were approximately 50 products, including tons of her beloved glitter, she started with her time consuming but fun painting, blasting her OD playlist to stay in a good mood. Her thoughts drifted around for a bit, eventually settling on the memories of how her high school had tried to get her to dress 'appropriately' and to stop her 'clown like' makeup. At first the teachers had assumed that she would get teased because of her looks, but they had been very wrong. Crystal had such a fun and loveable personality that no one really said anything negative about her, in fact, the only people who teased her about her makeup were her best friends, who obviously didn't mean it. Crystal was friends with just about everyone, except one person.

Crystal quickly tried to think of something else, she didn't want to ruin her morning by thinking about the only person she didn't like.

So, after the teachers had realized that no other student would tell her to stop with her makeup, they tried to threaten her by sending her to the principal's office multiple times. But, since she kept arguing about how she needed to express herself, and because her grades were good, the teachers gave up and her style was tolerated eventually. At least her art teacher loved her creativity.

Crystal checked herself out in the mirror one last time. Her long, curly hair was brushed nicely, it looked all shiny and soft like usual, she was wearing a full face of makeup, around three times the amount of what an average student would wear, and her outfit complemented her makeup nicely. Afterwards she went on her way to her high school, which happened to be just a few minutes away from her home. As always, she had her earphones in so she could continue to listen to her playlist, which she had named 'positive vibes'.

Before entering the big, old, dull building, she removed her earphones as electronic devices were strictly forbidden and had to be stored in the school bags, otherwise a teacher had the right to take them away. It was a stupid and annoying rule, but other than about her personal style, Crystal didn't like getting in trouble, so she just accepted it.

Crystal's morning had been pretty good so far, but of course, the first person she saw in the hallway was the one she didn't like. Her name was Gigi Goode, and, Crystal usually didn't like to swear, the only word that could be used to describe her was a complete bitch. Now, sadly, Gigi was gorgeous, everyone was jealous of her looks. Even after a long P.E lesson she still managed to look perfect, not even a single makeup particle out of place. Gigi exclusively wore expensive makeup and clothes, always looking like she was about to be on the cover of Vogue or something. Not only that, but she was smart too, a straight A student, nothing less ever. She regularly engaged in class, the teachers often used her as a good example. But beyond that, Gigi was also the most conceited person Crystal knew. She seemed to lack any kind of empathy or friendliness. The only thing she seemed to care about was herself and her reputation.

She wasn't really friends with anyone, everyone was intimidated by her. She didn't seem to care for friendships anyway. But Gigi just seemed to hate Crystal for no reason. Everytime Crystal was near Gigi she looked at the ground to avoid the look. Gigi liked to glare at Crystal like she was something unsightly, like a stain on her clothes or a disgusting bug or something along those lines. Nothing out of the ordinary, except today, if anything, Gigi looked at her with an even meaner expression than usual.

"Maybe her favorite brand of lipstick got discontinued,"  Crystal thought to herself as she searched for her friends, all she had to do was follow the sound. And sure enough, just a few meters away she spotted Jan and Jackie, who were talking about something. Jan seemed to be even more enthusiastic than usual, and Jackie looked slightly concerned.

"...it's a genius plan, I promise! And very easy to execute. We have to show them that they just belong together."

Jan was nearly screaming the last sentence, loud enough to hear clearly for Crystal who was just waiting for their conversation to end as she didn't want to interrupt them. But then, Jan saw Crystal and monitored for her to come.

"Genius plan? Jan, look, I love you very much, but the last time you said that, and canceled our movie night for it-"

"You're still mad about that?" Jan asked with a hint of amusement.

"Let me finish. Last time you had one of your 'genius ideas' you broke into the school with Nicky to save the frogs we were meant to dissect in biology."

"Well, obviously my plan worked because the frogs are now free, and we didn't have to dissect anything!"

Jackie sighed, fighting the smile caused by the adorableness of her girlfriend, and shook her head fondly.

"And I'm very happy about that. However, you and Nicky got detention for a whole month and only very narrowly avoided legal consequences. And you were grounded forever!"

Jan looked at Jackie with huge eyes.

"But..the frogs..they were worth all of that."

Jackie looked at Crystal who had just been listening to the fairly weird conversation. Though that kind of stuff wasn't uncommon for Jan and Jackie at all.

"Crystal, I'm dating an idiot."

Crystal just laughed and then shyly looked at Jan. The girl looked back at her with mock anger. Then she turned her attention back to Jackie.

"Oh, so I'm the idiot now? I would like to remind you of the time when I was still grounded, and you decided to do it like they do it in the movies and attempted to climb up my house to get into my room through the window, just because you wanted to see me..it's not like you see me at school literally every day."

"It was Saturday. And we spent some..quality time that day."

"That was after I quite literally had to pull you up myself after you almost fell down."

Jackie was about to respond when the bell rang as annoyingly as ever, announcing that the first class was about to start. Jan, Jackie, Crystal and, unfortunately for Crystal, Gigi were all in the same class. Jan attempted to leave, but she was pulled back by Jackie.

"No girl, no skipping classes anymore. You'll just get into trouble again."

"But..." Jan started.

"No buts. You're coming with us. Do you need a bit of..extra motivation?"

Jan smirked, getting the hint, and then nodding excitedly.

Jackie hugged her, and then placed a kiss on Jan's soft lips. A few seconds later they were full on making out.

Around a minute later the bell rang again, and the two of them broke apart. Jackie looked at Crystal, who was now staring at the ground, blushing, apologetically.

"Crys, oh my God, I'm so sorry you had to witness that."

"You're not sorry," Jan disagreed.

"It's fine, I'm used to it by now, I know how gross you guys are," Crystal smiled.

"Anyway, let's go, otherwise we'll be late for class," Jackie said in a slightly nervous tone. She hated being late.

Jan sighed.

"And I'm dating the teacher's pet."

Before Jan could try to run away again, Jackie grabbed the girl's hand and dragged her along.

On the way to class, Crystal couldn't help but feel jealous of her friends. Jan and Jackie were just such a cute couple. It wasn't like she was attracted to either of them, it was more that she had the desire to experience the same kind of love they had for each other. She wanted that kind of fairytale fantasy cute relationship, with the occasional playful teasing.

The three of them finally reached the classroom, just in time. Crystal sat down in her usual spot, and got out her needed school supplies. Since the teacher surprisingly wasn't there yet, she checked her phone, scrolling through her social media. Since there wasn't anything too interesting, she switched it off soon again and looked around for a bit. To her horror, she noticed that Gigi was looking at her. But something was weird about it. Crystal could have sworn that Gigi had looked at her with an almost friendly expression...probably as friendly as Gigi was able to, before using the look again. A few seconds later Gigi looked away again. Crystal missed that Gigi was blushing.

Crystal suddenly felt like she had invaded Gigi's personal space. It was stupid, but she felt her face heat up. To try and calm down, she ran a hand through her hair to fix it, even though nothing was wrong with it in the first place before opening her notepad, and started doodling tiny flowers and animals in it so she had something to focus on.

Just when she had calmed down enough to feel as comfortable as she could while being at school, the English teacher entered the room, greeting the students. Crystal looked up for a minute, listening to what the teacher was talking about, before going back to doodling. She was almost always more focused in class while drawing. It was accepted by most teachers, and a real blessing in art class.

Today was different. For some reason, she kept thinking about Gigi, and the way she had seen the unusual behavior of her today. It honestly wouldn't have been a big deal at all, but she had never seen Gigi without that I-accidentally-bit-into-a-lemon glance, and instead looked at Crystal like she was an actual person. Thinking about it caused Crystal to feel an odd, but definitely not unpleasant sensation spreading from her heart. Could it be..?

"No. No, definitely not, not her," she told herself before forcefully turning her attention back to the teacher.

"Okay, so today we'll start with a new topic: presentations. They are very important, you will have to do one in pretty regardless of where you want to work in your later life. Now, we'll work on your confidence first, therefore the topic of the presentation will be up to you. And because teamwork is very important as well, you'll work in groups of two."

The teacher noticed that Jan had raised her hand.

"Yes, Jan?"

"How about we get paired up randomly? Later on in our life we don't get to choose either who we'll have to work with, so this might be some good practice."

The teacher nodded, impressed by Jan's level of maturity, and surprised because the girl usually didn't participate that much.

The rest of the class seemed okay with that idea as all of them got along quite well. Jackie looked at Jan with a surprised look, Jan smiled at her before mouthing "all part of my plan, don't worry."

The teacher resumed.

"Great idea, actually, thanks Jan. Okay, everyone, please take out a piece of paper and write down your names. Then fold it and bring it to my desk."

Jan raised her hand again.

"Yes?"

"Can I please read out the teams?"

"Yeah, sure."

The next few minutes were spent by people asking for paper and pens and then writing down all of the names. Jan hastily scribbled the three letters of her own name before turning her attention to Crystal. She was writing down her name on that obnoxious rainbow colored paper she adored, making the next step of Jan's plan easier.

Then she looked at Gigi. She was using some expensive art paper she usually used to draw gorgeous pictures on. It even felt expensive, so spotting it later on shouldn't be too hard either. Jan couldn't quite believe that her plan was going so smoothly.

Jackie was ready to bring her paper to the teacher's desk, but Jan stopped her before she could do so.

"Wait, I want to be paired up with you. Mark it with a smiley or something," Jan whispered.

Jackie smirked before doing so.

"Fine, miss we-should-work-with-different-people-to-gain-new-experience."

"You'll understand later."

After every piece of paper was on the desk, Jan mixed all of them up to keep up the illusion that every pair would be selected in a fair and completely random way..

Crystal felt someone looking at her. When she looked around, it was Gigi once again. This time she was sure she had seen Gigi's initial expression which had looked almost dreamy before she was back to looking mean again. When Crystal didn't look right away again, Gigi even looked insecure for a split second before hissing "what the hell are you looking at?" before looking away herself.

Crystal was shocked. Had she just seen the usually overly confident Gigi Goode looking...insecure?

She didn't even have time to process everything that had just happened as Jan, who had already paired up quite a few people, called her name.

"Okay so Crystal and.."

Jan tried to make it seem like she was just randomly picking out a piece of paper.

"Gigi."

Crystal's jaw dropped. She didn't dare to look at Gigi. That was the worst team she had ever been in. She was shocked to the point of shivering. She felt her blood running both hot and cold at the same time. And just when she had tried to reason that she could just do her part of the assignment alone, and would just have to do the presentation with Gigi, the teacher spoke up again.

"To ensure you'll actually work together, you will get a grade as a team instead of individual ones. Before you can go, please note that you now have one week to prepare. Since I already wrote down the teams, please don't change them up again. Okay, that's it. Goodbye, see you all tomorrow."

Everyone except Crystal packed up and got ready to leave. Gigi, for once, looked unsettled and left as soon as she could in order to keep up her usual act and not show any emotions. Crystal, on the other hand, was too shocked to do anything other than staring off into space. This was officially the worst day in her life. There was no way she would survive working together with someone who looked like she was about to stab Crystal as soon as they were alone.

Jan pulled her out of her almost trance like state by waving her arms in front of Crystal.

"Hey, are you okay? You don't look good, you're so pale out of the sudden."

Crystal looked at Jan desperately.

"Okay?? No, I'm not 'okay' at all. In case you missed it, I have to work with Gigi out of all people and I can't switch partners...what am I going to do?"

Jan decided to act like she was sorry. In her opinion that drastic measure was necessary to make Crystal and Gigi talk for once, and hopefully that would be enough to make them see that they like each other. Jan had seen the way Gigi looked at Crystal when the latter wasn't aware of it, and she knew that Crystal had a hard time noticing and admitting that she liked someone, due to the fact that she once had her heart broken badly before, and it had taken lots of time and support from her friends to get over it. So, complaining about someone more often than usual was Crystal's way to try and suppress her feelings.

"I'm so sorry Crys, but I'm sure it's going to be fine. And if she's mean to you, I'll make her pay for it, I promise. In fact, I still have that weird hair dye that's supposed to dye your hair purple, but it turned mine green and it took an eternity to get it out again, remember that?"

Crystal forced herself to giggle. She did feel a bit better knowing that Jan would help her if things didn't go smoothly.

"Thanks, Janice, I appreciate it. And honestly, the green didn't look that bad. Besides, you obviously care about green frogs enough to risk legal consequences, so dyeing your hair to match them is just the natural next step."

"I probably shouldn't have told anyone that story, but I would have never thought that saving countless innocent lives would ever be used against me, at least not that frequently. But anyway, ready to leave now?"

Crystal sighed. She really didn't want to see Gigi anymore, at least today.

"What are the chances of Jackie killing you for skipping class one more time with me?"

Jan laughed.

"Unfortunately too high to risk it. Besides, you won't be able to avoid her all week, and if you don't want a bad grade you will have to work with her. Once again, I'm very sorry."

"Okay, fine. And don't apologize Jan, it's not your fault."

Jan had to suppress a smirk. If only she knew..

The rest of the school day surprisingly wasn't that terrible. Gigi didn't look at Crystal at all, not even once, instead she was fully concentrated on engaging as much as usual in each class. Crystal on the other hand didn't care about anything else that moment, she was trying and failing to come up with a way that would make working with Gigi okay. And she sure as hell wouldn't be the one to start the conversation. Since Gigi wasn't satisfied with anything less than an A, she probably would be the one to approach Crystal anyway. Hopefully.

When the school bell rang again, this time to indicate that the day was over, Crystal couldn't wait to get home, she carelessly stuffed her school supplies into her rainbow colored bag and nearly stormed out of the school without even saying goodbye to any of her friends. For once she didn't care about being nice and polite, she just wanted to go home, crawl into her bed, cry, listen to music, and ignore the world around her until she would feel better.

But today some higher force seemed to have something against her. Once she was back home, laying in her bed comfortably, surrounded by her plushies, she decided to check her phone before listening to music. It turned out to be a big mistake. She saw that she had received a message by an unknown number. Usually she would have just ignored and blocked it, but she couldn't. The number had a profile picture, and Crystal immediately recognized it. A pretty girl with perfect skin and shiny brunette hair. Gigi.

She decided that she deserved a break from everything that had happened today, so she turned on airplane mode so she wouldn't be disturbed by anyone anymore, put in her earphones once again, and then clicked on her playlist. She proceeded to close her eyes, trying not to think about anything, just listen to the music instead. She wasn't able to calm down though, even after 30 minutes of trying. The message she had refused to read out of fear earlier seemed to be haunting her. She decided to finally read it.

'Hey, it's Gigi.

It seems like we'll have to work together. I'm sure you're just as interested in a good grade as I am, so I think we should talk things out. Hating each other while trying to give a good presentation will probably not work out, plus we haven't even decided on a topic. So come to my place at 6pm, here is the address.'

Crystal checked the time. She had about an hour left. According to Google, getting to the location would take 45 minutes. She didn't want to make Gigi mad now that it seemed like they would maybe be able to finally work their problems out. She hastily jumped out of her bed, and ran into the bathroom to touch up her makeup as soon as possible.

Thankfully it wasn't terribly smudged or anything, so she was able to go on her way just a few minutes later. That way she would even have a bit of extra time in case she didn't find Gigi's house or if she needed some time to prepare herself mentally for actually ringing the doorbell, which was very likely going to be the case. Crystal had a pretty bad sense of orientation.

Meanwhile, Gigi was anxiously pacing around in her room, checking her makeup and outfit every time she passed a mirror. She had a lot of them in her room. Gigi knew that she was a mess on the inside right now, so it was even more important for her not to show it on the inside. She hoped that her facade that she had built up over the years was enough to hide her emotions from Crystal. The truth was, she wasn't as confident as she pretended to be. In fact, Gigi was a very insecure girl, afraid that someone would see right through her, able to tell just how weak she actually was on the inside. She was scared that people would make fun of her, so she just pushed everyone who tried to befriend her away. Being friends with people had never worked out in the past, instead she had been used and then she had been left with low self esteem and trust issues. Eventually she decided she wouldn't get hurt by people ever again, and that was when she started wearing expensive clothes to intimidate people and flawless makeup as it made her feel like a completely different person, beautiful and confident. Her makeup was like a mask for her as well, a constant reminder that she needed to keep up her facade to remain safe.

Gigi's thoughts were interrupted by the piercing sound of the doorbell. She checked her makeup for what seemed like the 100th time that day, and then went to open the door.

"Hey," Crystal greeted her, looking as nervous and anxious as Gigi felt. For some reason it made her feel better.

"Hey. Thanks for coming. Come in." Gigi managed to keep her usual cool tone despite the fact that she was extremely nervous.

Crystal did as she was told. Unexpectedly, Gigi's house was both huge, almost as big as a mansion, and the furniture looked extremely expensive and beautiful. But since Crystal was also a nervous mess, she wasn't able to focus on anything properly.

Gigi led her into her room (a gigantic one, beautiful and organized, girly but not at all kitschy) and monitored for Crystal to sit down on her bed. Crystal, again, did as she was told, it was her only option as she couldn't even think straight. Gigi carefully sat down next to her. She didn't look at Crystal because she felt like she would break if she did, and instead stared at her ceiling.

"Okay so, I guess I'll explain why I behave the way I do around you. The truth is, I don't hate you. I know you think I do, but I don't. In fact, I'm jealous of you."

Crystal couldn't believe her ears. First of all, Gigi talking about her feelings? And most importantly: How could Gigi Perfect Goode be jealous of her? Crystal bit her tongue to remain silent, the question was burning on her tongue, but she felt like talking wasn't a good idea right now.

"You're so lucky. You get to be yourself. You can wear and act however you want because you're so cute and loveable and everyone wants to be your friend."

Did Gigi just call me cute?

"You don't know what it means to constantly act like a bitch to keep people away from me. And all of that because I'm scared. I'm so scared of being judged. Of being used, of being hurt. I can't handle another person lowering my self esteem to the point where I can't leave the house anymore. It took me months to get where I am today. Why do you think I check my hair and makeup every few minutes? Why do you think I keep staring at you?"

Gigi was getting so emotional that she had to stop talking as her eyes were starting to get as glossy as her perfectly applied lip gloss. She tried taking deep breaths to calm down, but that just made everything worse.

"This is so stupid, I'm sorry…"

"Gigi, please don't call your emotions stupid. It's okay to express your feelings,you've been ignoring them for far too long already. I promise I won't tell anyone. And I know what being hurt feels like, believe me, and being able to talk about my feelings helped me a lot."

Perhaps it were Crystal's words, perhaps Gigi's feelings were too much for her to bottle up anymore, but just a minute later she found herself bawling her eyes out while Crystal had her arms wrapped around her in a protective and comforting way that Gigi actually felt like it was okay for her to cry and let out everything. It was weird, they didn't even really know each other, and surely she wouldn't have expected the meeting with Crystal to go like that at all, but strangely enough it felt so right.

After a solid ten minutes of crying, Gigi was finally starting to calm down. She decided that now, since she had told Crystal her secret already and she had also cried in Crystal's arms, which had probably ruined her pretty makeup/ facade, she had nothing to lose anymore. She freed herself from Crystal's grip, cupped the girl's face, and proceeded to kiss her like she had been wanting to for months. She was fast and aggressive, all of her emotions went into it.

Crystal didn't even think, the kiss felt more than right, so she kissed back just a second later with the same intensity to match Gigi's energy.

It wasn't like the start of her dream fairy tale beginning of a relationship, quite the opposite, actually. Gigi was still crying, Crystal's face was getting wet from the tears, but in that moment she could have cared less about the 'perfect' start of a relationship. What she had right here was just as perfect to her, if not more.

After what could have been seconds, minutes, or even days, both of them were blown away by the intensity of the moment that time didn't matter anymore, they slowly broke apart.

"Crystal I'm so sorry. I didn't know what came over me," Gigi started all of the sudden. She was breathing way too fast.

"Shh, calm down. My only question is, did you mean the kiss? Be honest."

Gigi nodded, looking away.

"I meant it too when I kissed you back."

Gigi looked like a weight had been lifted off of her. Then, she seemed to have an idea.

"I know this is incredibly early, but uhm..I'm alone and my parents won't come back until in a few days, do you maybe want to stay with me for the night? I just want to find out more about the girl I've been secretly admiring for the past few months."

Crystal smiled softly.

"Of course. I would love to know more about the girl that has been hiding every emotion for..I don't even know how long. Tell me what you're feeling, every single one, I want to know all about them. And please don't ever be afraid again to show people your vulnerable side. The world may be terrible, but not every single person is, I promise."

"You're the prime example of that," Gigi said quietly.

"You're still treating me like this even though I was such a terrible person to you...thank you so much Crystal."

With that, they intertwined their fingers, slowly getting closer until their lips touched again. This time it felt different, but just as amazing. It was all slow and tender, and neither of them wanted the moment to end. Maybe it was like in the kitschy fairy tales after all.

#rpdr fanfiction #crystal methyd #gigi goode #jan sport #jackie cox #crygi #jankie #high school au #angst #hurt/comfort #chaoticnachokitten #concrit welcome #s12

[myarmsaretoolong]

i have far too many thoughts on wandavision to keep to myself so heres my mini rant (major spoilers below the cut, like MAJOR spoilers)

- wanda can’t use her magic on the twins just like she couldn’t on the stalk,,, thats a little sus if you ask me

- just vision looking like a dummy with two dummies in his ears. enough said

- after agnes does the whole take it from the top thing, wanda seems so shocked that vision’s acknowledging what happened. kinda makes me think she tried to do one of those time reverse moments but it didn’t work for some reason

- have i mentioned that i love vision

- agnes not caring that the twins aged up twice? sus.

- VISIONS BABY PHOTOS

- correct me if i’m wrong but i think some of those shots from monica’s flashback thing haven’t actually happened yet? like there’s one quick moment of wanda on her knees crying, yall the angst is coming

- just glossing over the fact that monica’s test results got corrupt or whatever huh

- thank you so much for dropping wanda’s birth year and parents names it’s gonna make writing fics so much easier now we actually know how old she is

- also parents names 👀 sure jan, sure. i’m not buying it (maybe they’re her adoptive parents names though)

- i really thought hayward was gonna be a good director but no, he’s a meanie :(

- when wanda breaks into sword and that lab looking room, is that visions body in pieces across the tables? cause if so how dare they 

- vision didn’t want to be used a weapon after he died and he prEPARED FOR IT omg 

- that’s a good question jimmy, how did wanda bring vision back without the mind stone? answer: magics (probably)

- so wanda doesn’t care about using her magic in front of agnes... or does agnes not care because she’s already knows she’s magic?

- also let’s not ignore the whole turning up at the right place at the right time TWICE in one episode... sus

- monica: i know an aerospace engineer

my fitz loving heart: HE??? (i know he’s mechanical engineering but like,,, he’s been to space since then i think it counts, and with the blue hydra soap reference too)

my brain after thinking it through: she probably means that skrull kid that she made friends with in captain marvel?? that’s what i’m currently betting on

- SO. MANY. HEXAGONS. the devil really is in the details...

- why doesn’t monica want to talk about carol? is she angry about maria? has carol not been back to see them since 1996? i refuse to believe it

- did darcy send that email to vision? or is it just something she sent within sword and it got picked up inside the hex? (yes i’m calling it the hex)

- the way norm says none of it is real before even being awakened by vision, they’re aware on some level even under the spell

- also he only ever says ‘she’ and never specifies if he means wanda... say it with me now, thats SUS

- does wanda just send vision to work when he’s starting to question things?

- also another pietro mention they really are just trying to mess with my heart

- acting director “lets just hit her with a missile” hayward

- that whole scene where she just comes out in her costume and with the accent holy christmas (hayward deserved that, too)

- is the barrier super strong now? or just red?

- lagos, for when you make a mess you didn’t mean to. i see what you did there, and what is with the excess dripping after she says that? like... is it blood? i’m probably reading far too much into the little things what else is new

- something has to be going on with sparky for sure. you don’t introduce a dog and kill it off ten minutes later

- someday someones going to ask tommy and billy about their childhoods and its gonna be hard to explain

- “we can’t reverse death” it’s called foreshadowing

- wait vision’s coming in the back door because he just buried sparky im crying

- the credit’s rolling while vis is trying to get answers like someone really wanted him to stop

- angry vision made me cry he’s usually so calm and collected

- why are there no other children in westview? and where did the kids that must have been there go? surely someone had children before this all happened

- holy guacamole macaroni am i glad i finished watching dark phoenix yesterday. i’m a sucker for a multiverse and it looks quite a lot like it’s a high possibility for wandavision. that said is he going to be ‘xmen peter’ ‘mcu pietro’ or is it only evan peters simply for us the viewer because it’s cool and he’s kinda like a blank slate character. i for one hope it’s one of the first two

anyway i think that’s it, i did say i have too many thoughts... please please please feel free to hit up the replies with your thoughts and theories i’d love to hear what yall think about everything!!!

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXXII

It was a love story from the very beginning

You Are (Part I)

(11x20)

Hello my friends! We are so close to finish this season, I hope I can put in here all the ideas about these two episodes I'm gonna talk about.

I will give some hints about Chuck, and how he was showing his villain profile, of course is easy now that we know he's the bad guy, but well hahahha.

Let's start this...

Lovers separated by the darkness

This episode was all about stories, and how to write them. It was centralized on Chuck. But if we sneak inside, we will find it was a reminder of how Amara was trying to get Dean forcing her bond over the Profound bond with Cas, so indirectly, she was trying to separate them.

We had asad mirror in the case Sam and Dean were trying to solve, suspecting Amara was involved.

Pay attention to this dialogue here...

DEAN: What do you have on Wes Cooper?

MAC: I talked to his friends, family. Nobody can make heads or tails on why he did this. We have a witness who overheard Wes before he took his own life. He was saying things that sounded out of character.

As I said, is all about writing stories, and we are seeing here how Mac made a comparison to that when he says Wes was acting out of character.

DEAN: Yeah? How so?

MAC: Wes said that his life was meaningless, nobody loved him. It was like every negative thought he had ever had came spilling out. The thing is...

Hello Cas again.

JAN: I knew Wes' wife. We sang in choir together. She loved Wes till the day she died. I don't know why he'd say anything like that. 

And here we have one of the ideas we were talking about in the lasts metas, Dean loves Cas, and it breaks his heart because Cas doesn't feel he deserves to be saved, saved by Dean of course.

We had another Destiel mirror with Jan, the deputy, and Art her husband. She arrives home and her beloved husband was waiting for her. But both lovers were attacked by the fog, which was a manifestation of Amara. Another love story that ended badly because of the darkness.

This is very very important and good, because at the end of the episode, both lovers are reunited again! So love triumph over the darkness... Or maybe talking about foreshadows, over the Empty.

There's another thing that caught my attention. Knowing that Amara couldn't contact Dean as she did before, because Dean had all his energies on get his angel back and safe, the dark entity used the fog. She caused the mess in that little town, so she made Dean to come for her, and contact him through the fog, and through Jan, tormented by it, by AMARA's message to Dean. Look what she says...

JAN: (Blankly.) I tried to kill myself. But she won't let me. She has a message – for you, Dean Winchester.

DEAN: Amara? Is she here?

JAN: No. But her words have been echoing in my head ever since I took a breath of that fog.

This confirms Amara can't contact Dean anymore. Her forced bond is weak now, he lost against the profound bond Dean and Cas share.

JAN: It's not an infection. She says, it's a mirror. She's showing us all the truth.

DEAN: Darkness.

JAN: The light was just a lie

Here we have clues about true Chuck's intentions. The light is Chuck, and he is a lie.

And another thing she said is this...

Gif set credit @justjensenanddean

What does this mean? I thought at first it was Amara inviting Dean again to be one with her, and be eternal, but then I recalled my spec about Destiel endgame: Cas and Dean sharing a vessel for eternity. That's why 'It's all going away. But not you, Dean.'

And is giving me goosebumps about the ending of Supernatural too... Gosh...

'Show us who you are'

In the meantime, we have this encounter between Metatron and Chuck.

Between all the meaningful lines, I picked up one that we already heard in Jan's speech to Dean... Mirrors that show the truth...

CHUCK: Okay, so... what do I do?

METATRON: Hold up a mirror and show us who you are. Warts and all. Write for an audience of one... you.

Metatron is asking Chuck to be real, to being himself, and this is what he got from his writing.

CHUCK: Better, right?

METATRON: It's gold! Kind of angry with a side of bitter, but, hey, it's real. 

Angry with a side of bitter, this is Chuck true nature. The anger and the bitter, plays a huge part of his personality, his real one, and we will find out in the last season is the show.

It also was a call out from Metatron towards Chuck, asking him to return to his role in the story.

This point was very important in season 9 when Metatron was the one writing the story, and now is back again. That's the only thing Chuck wants from humanity, but mostly from Sam, Dean and Cas: THEY NEED TO PLAY THEIR ROLE, THE ONE RILE THIS BITTER GOD WANTS THEM TO PLAY, to fulfill his best-seller and his own ego.

Gif credit @elena--89

To Conclude:

Episode 11x20 talked about how the forced bond between Dean and Amara is weak, and she can't even use it to communicate with him. That's why she tried to find another alternatives as haunting a whole town with a dark fog.

It talked too about how the lovers can be separated by the dark, but they will always find a way to be together.

And it gave Ali's clues about the true evil nature of Chuck.

Hope you liked this! See you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel

If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From this season, here you have the links:

Vol. LXII, LXIII, LXIV, LXV, LXVI, LXVII, LXIX, LXX, LXXI.

Buenos Aires July 28th 2020 6:35 PM

#destiel #destiel meta #supernatural meta #destiel chronicles #vol LXXII #season 11 meta

[confessions-of-a-blogger]

Karma, or bollocks?

I wanted to write what's happened in my life for a while, well, my adult life. I find writing very therapeutic and something I have enjoyed doing since I was 13, so 16 years now.

I haven't found the need too, but now, I do.

It's going to paint myself in a bad light, or a good light, you can judge I am fine with that, I have lived with these choices for a long time, some more recently fair to say.

In the words of Nickelback 'Something's gotta go wrong cos I'm feeling way too damn good'

I always say out of every negative, and there can be alot, there is a least one positive. I hope by the end of this, I find that positive.

So the beginning, kind of. October 2012.

I was with a girl, but went to America for a month with my best friend at the time. He used to live there and I came into a bit of money, always wanted to go to the states, and had the most wonderful month.

About 2 weeks in I got a scent that something was happening between my partner and someone else, and I was right. I snooped on her Facebook inboxes, and found she had been talking to a girl, more than talking really, flirting, saying she wish she could be with her, the usual jazz. Which, I had done myself previously, and I deserved it to happen to me. I jumped from relationship to relationship for years, my therapist said it was because I didn't feel loved by my mum after years of abuse, I always went from woman to woman to find the love, and I agreed.

When I came back, I was expecting to break up with her, but I was about to look after my friends dog in his flat for an unknown period of time, and she had told her mum this, so her mum kicked her out.

With nowhere to live, I felt like it was now my responsibility, so we spoke and worked on things.

A few months down the line, she fell pregnant, and I was over the moon. I always wanted the family life, even after the red flag, but unfortunately she miscarried.

Then things changed slightly. Controlling behaviour, both our heads in the wrong places, still trying to hold a relationship together, and of course still sleeping together, and she fell pregnant, again.

This time I was at fault, I didn't wanna be with her, and I figured she was going through my phone, so I left her things to find so we could break up.

Then I felt horrible. I left my pregnant partner. Regardless of if I wanted to be with them, I should not of done that, at that time, so we got back together, and she miscarried, again.

2 back to back nearly killed us both off. So I made it clear I didn't want to try again and she went onto the pill.

Which she then stopped taking, and on her highest ovulation day she got me drunk, we fucked, and she fell pregnant a third time.

Not wanting to make the same mistake, I stayed. For a while. The thought that someone just went behind my back to get pregnant after I made it clear I couldn't cope with another miscarriage brewed. I had already struggled with mental health from the years of abuse by my mum, I didn't want to go through a third and come out alot worse.

We got to 12 weeks, and everything was okay with baby, but I knew I needed out. It was a massive betrayal of trust, and I could no longer trust her.

Her birthday came up, then Christmas and New year, so I didn't act on this, I didn't want to cause more stress and miscarry again.

In Jan 2014, after a month of just basically both of us talking to other people, I ended it, and a month later I was with someone else. Needless to say, it wasnt a good thing. I felt like I was being blackmailed by my ex to do all these things just so I could see my unborn. I always wanted children, and said I would do anything to see them as often as possible.

In May that child was born, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. The blackmail continued and in August it all came out that I had been essentially having an affair, not that I wanted it, and that caused strain on my relationship at the time. I was wrong, very very wrong to do what I did, and should of stood my ground, but maybe the rest of this story will show you how hard that would of been.

Things were hard, I was being stopped from seeing my child as often as I liked, and it was a case of 'can you have her tomorrow' always at short notice, and always having to juggle work around that. When I couldn't change shifts at short notice, things got worse. Arguing on her side, emotional abuse, the works. Child as a weapon.

After a few months, I would say February 2015, contact turned very very minimal.

In March, my partner cheated on me twice, with the same person, but I loved her and accepted that as she accepted my actions the year before. And we moved passed it, even if it was on the anniversary of my mum's death.

A few more months down the line, the contact with my child stopped completely, and over the years no matter how hard I tried, for a while, I got nowhere.

My partner cheated on me a further 3 times, and in 2016 she left me for someone else. 7 weeks later we found out she was pregnant.

She told me she hadn't slept with the guy the first 2 weeks but she was 7 weeks pregnant. So we got back together. I was dating someone, someone I wanted to date for a while, but felt this was the right thing to do. If I had one chance to make it work I had to take it. I didn't miss an appointment, and I only just missed the birth. Then we did the DNA, and in the best Jeremey Kyle moment of all time, she told me she wanted a family with me regardless of the result, we would be a family and a day later, the DNA test showed that I was not the father.

I was okay for a few weeks, but I couldn't live with looking at a child that should be mine all the time whilst not being alllowed to see my own, once I said that, she left.

Then out of nowhere, my ex rings me, and I see my eldest for a while, a month or 2, before she got back with her fella and the contact stopped, again.

Then I lost my job, and had nothing. Time to rebuild, whilst being off sick for 3 years.

In that time I met someone, they were super nice and we had good times, but truthfully, I was still hung up on my ex for 2 years, and then I chose to settle. I hadn't had nice before, things were good. I thought I would finally grow to love her, and I did to some aspect, but I never fell in love.

Then one day, in February 2020, I walk into a shop and there she was. The person all these soppy love quotes are about, the person I dreamed of meeting since I was teenager, stood before my very eyes. At that point I knew I had to break up with my partner. If you look at someone else then you should not stay with the person you are with. I went in a further 3 times and every time all I could think was wow.

Then lockdown happened, and well, signs were there that my partner was pregnant. When lockdown ended in the summer, she came to mine, and low and behold, she was. 23 weeks pregnant.

We had one week to decide and we booked everything for an abortion, but, I was born at 24 weeks, so we both opted against it.

In September, I applied for a job at where the girl I always wanted to be with/find, and got it. At the same time, my partner gave birth.

I pushed my feelings to one side. They only grow when I think someone might be interested and that certainly wasn't the case. I now had a family to provide for, and that family life I always wanted with a nice, lovely, good looking girl, plus, the girl I liked and her bf both worked there, and I got on with both of them, so my feelings kind of disappeared to the back of my mind.

Then the job was made permanent, at a time when my relationship was failing, and over the course of a few months, things creeped in that made me unhappy, and I was so pissed off with myself that I just settled knowing it wasn't what I wanted. Stupid me, everything I wanted and got turned to dust, I thought being with someone nice meant that I would get the happy ending and a family life, but life doesn't work out like that.

But fate has its way sometimes. I had found my dream girl, I got the job, it was permanent, and out of all the people I worked with it was her I went to for advice, and it appeared we had similar thoughts, but also, we were both unhappy in our relationships to some extent, and I just got contact with my eldest again, for a while at least.

Then something amazing happened. She flirted. I couldn't believe it either, and then we became good friends, that helped each other out.

I spoke to my partner, told her I was unhappy, and we tried to work on it, but it got worse and my mind was made up. So I pretty much made it clear to the girl I worked with I liked her. I told her she was my type, and she seemed interested if i was gonna break up with my partner, and I was. Then I reacted to some pictures of her on her insta story, where she looked absolutely out of this world, and then suddenly we knew we had to break up with our partners.

She wanted to call a break but fate had its way again and they actually called things off, and so did I. Not to get with each other, but because we knew we were unhappy whilst being made happy by someone else. We had both checked out our relationship a while back, I guess we just forced each others hand.

Its not been a month, and I am crazy in love, but we aren't together, as much as I want that. We are taking things slow in terms of commitment and I am okay with that. I never thought I'd get this far. I only imagined we would go out on a works Christmas do or something and I might slide it in there how I feel, so the fact this all happened has been crazy.

Talking everyday, seeing each other often, and our first proper date coming up, and I am really living the dream.

But now, I haven't seen my eldest in months, and when I asked, she is 'too busy,' imagine if I said that.

Now I just get ignored often by both, and whilst I have had the month of my life, the bad is happening.

I'm now worrying its going to be 2 children I don't see, and that really would be karma for all the hurt I caused.

But at least I have you, my light in the dark times, you really really make me happy, and I have never felt like this before. Thank you for being there, and making me feel on top of the world.

Just to be shot back down by 2 people, ignoring, and making life difficult.

So is this karma, or is it bollocks.

#real life #venting

[why-do-i-like-you-ya-dumb-bean]

Prompt time!!!

Here is a Rejanis prompt that my friend @elphabuddy sent me! I loved writing it. Hopefully it’s turned out well! 

Regina does something that strains her back and turns into an absolute bitch because she’s too proud to admit that she’s in agony (or that her back even gives her issues anymore). Janis connects the dots and takes care of her.

From upstairs Janis heard a loud thud from the George’s basement and then a tone of voice she hadn’t heard in over two years but had been hearing since she had gotten to Regina’s. This though was the harshest it had gotten.

“Jesus fucking christ Gretchen can’t you do anything right?!” Regina yelled.

By the time she made it downstairs, everyone had frozen and there was ear crushing silence. Janis being on the stairs was able to take in the whole sense. The gang had been rearranging Regina’s basement since getting back from their first year at college. All of them surprisingly had chosen to work at the same local grocery store. They figured once they finished post secondary things that they might drift apart and wanted to have this time before full adulthood would likely pull them apart.

“Regina I-I’m sorry I really thought I had a grip on it.” Gretchen frightfully stammered out. 

“Don’t say sorry to me! Say sorry to Janis! It was her TV that you dropped!” Regina said, throwing an arm towards the punk. Janis watched with slight surprise as a twinge of pain crossed the blonde face. Well that’s interesting. Janis thought. 

“Hey guys why don’t you all head home for the day? Regina and I can take over. We’ve pretty much reached my stage of the design anyway.” Janis said casually. There was a moment of pause before five bodies started moving. Gretchen, still looking frightened, tried to stammer out an apology. Janis wrapped her in a bear hug and whispered in the brunette’s ear. “I know that wasn’t your fault. If you could before you go, find her rice heating pad and put it in the microwave for two minutes that would be awesome. Then just toss it down the stairs. No reason to come back into fire before I calm her down. Okay?” Janis waited to feel Gretchen nod before releasing her to go upstairs.

As soon as the basement door shut she turned her attention to Hurricane Regina. “I’m fucking fine thank you very much. Everyone’s just been showing their ineptitude today and it’s pissing me off!” Regina bitched.

“Oh of course.” Janis said finally walking over to Regina, her arm crossed tightly. “It wouldn’t have anything to with the fact that you’re in pain right? That hasn’t turned you into a raging bitch before.”

“I’m fin-” Regina tried to say. But when she swung her up to point in Janis’s face she gasped in pain.

Janis rolled her eyes and stepped into Regina’s space. The punk had noticed during their senior year that Regina couldn’t really handle Janis in her space. It made her all flustered and would cause her to just start rambling. It confused the hell out of her for a bit, but while on their first college winter break Janis’s suspicions were confirmed when the blonde came out as pansexual. From there Janis tested the boundaries to see if it was just girls in general or just her that could cause nervous Regina. Through some “research” she found it was really just her and the slightly emo drive thru girl at Taco Bell that got the blonde all riled up.

“What did you do to your back?” Janis asked pointedly, putting her hands on her hips giving the blonde a once over.

“I didn’t do anything. I-I’m fine.” Regina huffed. That ever familiar pink tone was on her cheeks. 

Janis smirked. “Oh cool then let’s try and lift the TV and take it upstairs since it’s probably broken. We can put it back in my truck.” Regina’s eyes trailed to Janis’s and glared. “What’s wrong? If Gretchen was really the one that caused it to fall, then with me helping you it should be fine.” Janis watched the fire fade from Regina’s eyes and saw a glass come over them.

“Jan… I’m sorry.” Regina said with a hitch in her voice. “I didn’t mean to, I swear. I-I-I…” 

Before Regina could flounder more Janis wrapped the girl in her arms. “It’s okay you stubborn idiot.” 

“But it’s broken. It was expensive.” Regina mumbled into Janis’s shoulder.

“I won it at a school raffle. We can paint the wall white and all pitch in to get a projecter for like a hundred bucks. It’s gonna be fine Reggie.” Janis said softly while rubbing her friend’s back. “Now will you please tell me what’s wrong with your back. Remember I’m going to school to be a physical therapist now.”

“I still can’t believe you’re giving up art.”

“I’m not?” Janis said, pulling away from Regina a bit but still keeping a hand on her shoulder. There was a silence. “Did I not tell you my plan?”

“No? Did you tell everyone else?” Regina asked, looking hurt.

“I thought I told you at Hecki- Oh shit you were sick that day. Reggie I’m going to school to be a PT and will be incorporating art into it. There’s been a surge in the desire to incorporate art into PT because it can really motivate people that are struggling. I can have my cake and eat too, don’t worry.”

“Jan that’s so cool I’m so proud of you.” Regina said, seemingly in aw. Janis watched Regina carefully. The blonde’s bottom lip was being captured by her teeth and was definitely giving her a very slow once over. “Can you really help me?” Her tone was quiet but somehow dangerous. 

It made heat flow through Janis. “I can try. This past semester was all about muscles.”

“Well that’s good because I fucked up some muscle in my upper back this morning trying to move the couch by myself.” Regina said rubbing the back of her neck while wincing.

Janis gaped. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I’m a strong independent woman who wants to impress girls by saying I move huge objects by myself.” The former queen bee said, quirking an eyebrow at Janis.

Before Janis could answer the basement door opened and down flew the heating pad. “Oh goody.” Janis said excitedly. She grabbed and brought it over to a shocked looking Regina. “You hate asking for help but if it’s offered you typically say yes… especially if I offer it. So I had Gretchen find this.” 

Regina rolled her eyes but there was a very present blush on her cheeks. “You lowkey know me the best so whatever. Why that?”

“Lay face down and just relax.” Janis commanded pointing to the couch. There was a pause and a defiant look in Regina’s eyes. “Now.” Janis said, cocking an eyebrow and tilting her head. Janis watched in satisfaction as Regina huffed but heeded Janis’s words and laid down, her face turned out to the punk. “Now where does it hurt princess?” 

“The upper right kind of by my shoulder blade and close to my spine.” Regina whined. 

Janis poked around the area until Regina took in a sharp breath. The punk felt around a bit more and realized there was a huge knot. “Jesus. Did you really just do this today or have you been doing dumb shit for the last week?” Janis asked peering down at Regina who had a guilty look on her face.

“I may have taken a few extra shifts at Barts. And those shifts might have involved stocking.” Regina mumbled. Janis placed the heating pad on Regina’s shoulder and the blonde let out a satisfied groan.

“Regina Blaire.” Janis said, shaking her head. “You need to be more careful. I don’t want to be getting phone consultations when we’re older because you decided to be reckless.” Janis flopped onto the ground facing Regina. 

“Who said I’d be calling you for help?” The blonde sassed.

“Well you called me this past semester for your boyfriend’s knee so I’m pretty sure I’ll be getting more calls.” Janis said, the slightest bite in her phrasing of ‘boyfriend.’ She looked away from Regina. She hated that she felt a little jealous of that boy. It fell silent for several minutes.

“Henry isn’t my boyfriend you idiot.” Regina smirked, breaking the silence.

“Oh sorry fuckbuddy.” Janis said, rolling her eyes.

“Ugh grow up Jan. He’s not that either, he gay dumbass.” Regina laughed.

“He’s- oh… well that’s cool information.”

“You really thought he was my boyfriend?”

“Well yeah you were calling each other babe so I just figured…”

“Well you figured wrong. And even if he was straight he’s not my type. I’m more into brooding artsy idiots who think they know everything.” Regina said cockily, giving Janis an obvious once over. 

Janis let out a nervous laugh and stood up. “Okay I think that’s enough heat for now. Let’s see if things have loosened up.” Janis pressed around the area and things had gotten less tense, but it wasn’t necessarily going to be fun for Regina. “This isn’t going to be like a spa. You’re going to be in some pain while I release the muscle.”

“Honestly you could saw off my arm and I’d be fine with it so long as the pain will go away. I haven’t been able to sleep for a couple of days.” Regina said bluntly.

“Why haven’t you gone to the chiro yet? They’d be able to fix this in like one section.” Janis asked.

“Well as you know my dad is trash and left us and mom doesn’t get her insurance until two months into working for some dumb reason. We still have two weeks to go.” Regina said casually.

“Oh right.” Janis said pushing into the knot. Regina let out a hiss quickly followed by a groan. “Too much?” Janis asked nervously. She knew what she was doing but still this was Regina. She didn’t want to cause more harm.

“N-no it’s fine. Do whatever you need to do. If it gets too bad I’ll tap out.” Regina said, hissing out the last bit of the sentence as Janis pressed in a little harder than the last time.

“Okay. Well I’m going to warm up the whole area a little bit before I really dig into the knot. So just breathe evenly and relax.” The artist said gently.

“I thought this wasn’t like a spa.” Regina teased.

“Yeah well I changed my mind. Plus my professors would kill me if I just tried to yeet this knot out of you without a little bit of a warm up.” Janis laughed as she ran a hand up to the back of Regina’s neck and slowly kneaded the muscles while resting the other hand on her lower back and pushed ever so slightly to stretch. The other areas were nearly as tense as the blonde’s shoulder blades. She applied more pressure to Regina’s neck and circled the tense muscles until they relaxed. Regina let out a gentle hum and Janis smiled. The punk moved both hands to either shoulder and began loosening the muscles there as well. Everything was so tense. “Jesus Reggie you need to get a professional massage. You’re as stiff as a board.”

“Why waste my money when I have you?” Regina said in a dreamy tone.

Janis felt blush creep into her face. Before she could stop her brain she spoke. “Who said this was free?” She managed in a smooth tone while pulling a soft sigh from the blonde.

“How much should I venmo you Jan?” Regina asked sarcastically.

Janis let out another nervous laugh. Jesus christ what was wrong with her? “A dollar is fine. It’s a flash sale today.” She said far less smoothly. She looked down at Regina and caught a smirk on her lips. 

“That’s reasonable.“ She sighed.

Janis rolled her eyes at herself. Smooth, very smooth Sarkisian. She let out a huff and tried to center herself. She spent a few more minutes loosening the muscles around the knot until she felt confident that it would detangle with the least amount of pain possible.

“Okay Reggie the not fun part is about to begin.” Janis started circling the knot gently. “You ready?” Janis looked down and caught Regina nodding her head. “Okay to start I’m going to hold my thumb in the center of the knot and push for a bit and all I need you to do is take deep breaths for me.”

“Okay.” Regina hissed out as Janis’s thumb began to sink further into the stubborn muscle. 

“Reggie, take five deep breaths for me.” Janis said. She watched the blonde back’s heave and hitch with each breath as she applied slightly more pressure with each hissing exhale. On the fifth breath Janis added her other thumb and slightly jostled them. She felt the muscle starting to release and pressed down harder knowing it needed just a little bit more. Regina let out a pained whine and whimper. “I’m almost done Reggie I promise. Just take as big a breath as you can and exhale slowly. I’ve got you.”

Regina whined again but complied. As the breath came up Janis pressed down harder than ever. Her heart skipped a bit hearing Regina’s muffled cry as she exhaled. Halfway through Janis felt the stubborn knot release and heard some strangled satisfied noise come from the blonde who had buried her face in the cushion. Janis very slowly started to circle out and away from the where the knot and been and gave Regina’s back a once over to make sure nothing else was messed up. A non-muffled sigh caught Janis’s ear and she looked down to see a blissed out Regina.

“Wow that was amazing. Thank you Jan.” Regina sighed while sitting up on the couch.

“It’s no problem I got some practice this past semester.” Janis said plopping down next to the blonde.

“Ohhh those girls must have been lucky.” Regina said with a smirk, turning so she was facing Janis better.

“What-oh geez-no no that’s not-it was for the muscle class. People paid like ten bucks to come be live practice dummies.” Janis said frantically. 

“Speaking of money…” Regina said while taking her phone out of her pocket. “I need to send you that dollar.” The blonde giggled.

Janis immediately tried to grab the phone. The blonde moved her arm away. “Regina Blaire you’re not sending me money.”

“But you provided a service. I need to repay you somehow.” Regina said with a pout, still holding the phone out of reach and placing a hand on Janis’s sternum trying to keep her just far enough away.

“No you don’t. Put the phone away!” Janis demanded, still reaching. But she stopped when she felt a grip on her shirt. She looked down and found Regina’s hand. When she looked at Regina there was a very mischievous look in her eyes. Janis was trying to speak but Regina was leaning very close to her and her brain and mouth had decided to take a vacation. 

The blonde was only a few inches away from her and still had a grip on her shirt when she spoke in a warm low tone. “Really? There’s nothing I could do to say thank you?”

Janis couldn’t believe what was happening. Where’d useless pansexual Regina go? Janis was supposed to be the slick one. She had a whole plan! The punk’s brain wasn’t firing so the plastic spoke again. “I have an idea that I think you’d like but it does also benefit me so I don’t know…” Regina pulled her bottom lip between her teeth ever so slightly, leaning even closer. “What do you say Jan? Will you accept my form of payment?” 

Janis was starting to wonder if maybe she tripped down the stairs. But against her doubts she just nodded her head. Regina giggled excitedly and pulled Janis into a kiss. The punk immediately melted and placed a hand on the blonde’s hip. It wasn’t too long before Regina pulled back. The pair locked eyes and Janis couldn’t help but pull the blonde back to her for just a second longer. 

“Am I going to have to fix your back every time I want one of those?” Janis asked dopily, finally able to find words.

Regina giggled and rubbed her chin thinking. “Hm I think if you say yes to a date tomorrow night at Ula’s, all requests for kisses can be free of charge.”

“I think that’s a pretty good deal.” Janis snickered before pulling Regina in for another kiss. She knew changing majors had been a good idea.

#writing prompts #rejanis prompts #rejanis #prompt #fanfic #mean girls #janis x regina #regina x janis #Regina George #janis sarkisian

[afewnovelideas]

The Boomerang Incident (in 1 post)

(NOTE: I had to re-write the Boomerang incident b/c the new Tumbler theme I’m using for my main blog screwed up the formatting and sequential order of the story.  It’s now in here in one post for your convenience. I’m also updating the link on the Drakestroke Masterlist) 

The single gunshot that echoed through the Cave had the desired effect Janet wanted.

Everything and everyone froze.

The shouting from the increasingly heated accusations and argument between Tim and Bruce over the murder of Captain Boomerang was cut off immediately. Janet felt a twinge of regret for visibly causing Tim to nearly jump out of his skin.

However, causing Bruce to nearly jump out of his skin, even as he was wearing his cowlless Batman uniform didn't bother her in the least. In fact, it made her feel powerful. That feeling only grew as she watched his expression morph from surprise to the start of his infamous batglare before settling on something more shocked as he recognized the face of the woman holding the smoking gun pointed in the air.

"Janet?"

Janet smirked. "Hello Bruce."

---

Jason stood at the stairway leading to the mansion and seemed content to watch from a safe distance. He was the one who brought Janet to the Cave once he heard that Bruce had recalled Tim shortly after Boomerang's death hit the police scanners that night. He also had a fairly good idea of how this was going to shake out, and while he wanted to see what was going to happen, he also did not want to get caught up in the splash radius of Janet's fury. Janet had not been happy during the drive to the manor.

Off to the side, by the training mats, Dick was standing in shocked silence, his hands firmly clamped on Damian's shoulders to keep him in place. Dick glanced at Jason and made a quiet signal asking if he needed to intervene. Immediately Jason's eyes went wide and he shook his head no emphatically while making an obvious slashing motion across his neck. Then he gave Dick the signal to just hold his ground.

---

Janet was loathed to relinquish even a small portion of the element of surprise advantage she had in this confrontation as she walked across the Cave, her footsteps echoing. But launching her main attack on Bruce needed to wait one moment.

Unlike the Batman, she had priorities.

"Mom?" Tim's voice was low and hoarse, likely due to how he was yelling at his adopted father just a moment ago at top volume. His eyes darted nervously between Janet and Bruce until she stepped between them and laid her left hand against his cheek, forcing all his focus on her.

Tim's eyes slid shut and he leaned into his mother's touch. Some of the tension in his body bled out and he indulged in a slow measured breath.

"Did he hurt you?"

Tim open his eyes to see his mother studying his face critically, turning it slightly one way, then the other, checking for injury.

"No." Though Tim shot a glare at Bruce over his mother's shoulder. If Janet had come in a few minutes later...

Janet forced his gaze back on her. "Grab your gear and go wait by Jason," she whispered.

Tim nodded and moved to the lockers.

Bruce tried moving to intercept him. "Tim wait--"

He froze at the sound of an ominous click.

"Take one step towards my son and I'll put a bullet through your kneecap."

---

"How dare you accuse my son of murder!" Janet hissed. Now that Tim and his well being was accounted for, Bruce had her complete and undivided attention.

"Jan--" Bruce tried to speak up, but she cut him off before he could get another syllable out.

"In what fucking universe would a father's first instinct in a murder investigation involve setting his own child as the primary suspect before any others?!" Despite her anger, she flipped the safety back on her pistol and shoved it into the holster strapped to her thigh.

Tim had moved to stand between Dick and Jason, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder. His eyes never left his mother or father, though. There was a tension in his body, as if he was ready to spring to someone's defense in an instant if necessary.

Exactly who's defense remained to be seen.

"Janet," Bruce said as he tried to regain his mental footing. The sudden appearance of his adopted son's formerly dead mother had unbalanced him badly. "You don't have all the details--"

"Ha!" Janet's barked laugh was sharp and humorless. "Clearly neither do you!" Her eyes narrowed. "And even if you did, shouldn't your first instinct be to protect your children from harm? Oh wait, I forgot who I'm talking to."

Bruce glared at Janet. "Exactly what are you implying?!" He growled.

"Isn't it obvious? That you're a shit detective and an even worse father!"

---

Bruce's face began to redden, though whether from embarrassment or anger no once could be certain.

"Now look here Jan--!" He tried to say, but again Janet cut him off with merciless precision.

"No! You look here, Bruce!" She snapped as she took a step into his general direction.

"How many scars does Tim have because of your fucking crusade?!" Her icy blue glare had locked onto Bruce's and she took another step closer and closer with every question she voiced.

"How many gallons of his blood has soaked into the pavement of Gotham City over the years?"

"How many evenings has he been forced to survive on caffeine and adrenaline instead of a decent meal and a good night's sleep?"

"What has this life of vigilante work done to his high school GPA and university prospects?"

"Before YOU 'died' did you leave ANY contingencies in place to support ANY of your children?"

"How many times on your fucking watch has my son nearly died?!"

"How many people in his life has he lost because you were too fucking late?"

With Janet's last question she stepped into Bruce's space so they were inches apart.

...or they would have been if Bruce hadn't stepped back, unable to voice a response to any of her questions.

In the back, Dick, Jason, and Damian were all looking at Tim. His head was bowed and he had a white knuckled grip on his bag.

Janet gave Bruce one more appraising look up and down before giving him a final disgusted glare and turning her back on him to return to her son.

"Let's go home," she said softly when she was within earshot of Tim and Jason. Both of the boys went up the stairs, but not before Tim shot Bruce a cold bitter glare himself.

"Janet."

She paused on the stairs to glance disdainfully at Bruce. The two boys further up stopped too.

"What do you want?"

"How are you alive? And how can you be certain Tim didn't kill Boomerang?"

Jason had to lay a hand on Tim's shoulder to keep him from storming back down the stairs, rage lighting up his eyes. Janet, on the other hand, smirked humorlessly at Bruce.

"You're the god-damned Batman and supposedly the world's greatest detective. Figure it out yourself."

---

Back in the jeep they had borrowed from Slade for this impromptu road trip to Wayne manor, Jason glanced at the mother and soon through the rear view mirror. Tim had his face buried in his hands and Janet was trying to comfort him.

"So.. How do you know Tim didn't off Boomerang?" Jason asked curiously.

"Because I killed him myself," Janet said coolly.

Tim lifted his head to look at his mother in surprise. "You killed him?"

She stroked Tim's hair. "He murdered your father. And though we'd been apart for years... I still loved Jack... He didn't deserve to go the way be did at that bastard's hands." She looked at Tim. "And you don't need that bastard plaguing your nightmares anymore."

Tim's hands began to shake a little. "Captain Boomerang... Is gone... He's really gone?"

Janet held her son as he buried his face in his hands once more, this time as a sob of relief broke through him.

"Yes... He's gone..."

#drakestroke #fanfiction #janet drake #tim drake #bruce wayne #jason todd #my writing

[themysteryofwriting]

The Bane of Protectiveness

A/N: welcome to a friend of mine and I brainstormed another bad ending so now I had to write it  

TW: Suicide, Self-deprecation, self-hatred

Rachel wasn’t sure what had gotten Roman to this point, the two now in the subconscious and Roman was at the edge of the cliff.  One step away from falling.  She couldn’t let him take the last step, but it was seeming like he wouldn’t give her a choice with how he was glaring at her.

“Go away Rachel,” he practically growled at her.

“No, I’m not leaving you, Roman!”

“You’ll have to,” Roman said as he took a step back, off of the cliff.  

Rachel thought she’d be able to stop him.  Rachel didn’t think Roman would actually jump.  And so she wasn’t ready.  It took an extra second to snap out of her shock and follow Roman off the cliff to try to save him.  And when you’re racing against gravity, every second counts.

Rachel raced down trying to catch Roman before he hit the ground.  She almost grabbed him too, but just as she almost had a grip on Roman, she lost it.

She heard the loud thump before she saw Roman’s body.  If O was there, she didn’t even notice, hoping that by some miracle Roman was still alive.

Her hopes were crushed upon seeing Roman’s body.  She may have not known as much first aid, but she knew enough that Roman’s body didn’t look right.  Not even accounting for the blood starting to pool underneath him, so many bones seemed broken.  And Rachel was pretty sure his neck wasn’t supposed to be at that angle

“R-ro.  Please this isn’t funny anymore,” Rachel said shaking.  She slowly approached Roman, looking for any sign that he might still be alive.  ….She found none.

“Oh god,” Rachel sobbed out, backing away.  In a fit of panic, she flew off, away from Roman’s body.  She couldn’t look at his body anymore.  Not when….it was her fault he was dead.  If she’d been just a little faster, Roman would still be alive.

Oh god, this was real, Roman was really...Rachel, having barely made it a bit past the cliff, crashed and started sobbing. Roman was dead and it was all her fault.  How was she going to tell the others?  They’d hate her if they found out.

She still had to tell them what happened though.  Rachel tried the best to compose herself as she got up and slowly made her way back to the mindscape, still sobbing as she headed that way.

Virgil found her first. “Ray where have you been?”

The guilt was eating her, how she could have saved Roman. She knew Virgil wanted her to answer but she couldn’t bring herself to speak.  All she could bring herself to say was “Roman is dead.”

The next few months were blurry for Ray.  She didn’t remember much.  

She vaguely remembered the others worried looks, but she just didn’t think she deserved their worry.  It was her fault Roman wasn’t here anymore.  

She started hiding out in her room and only really coming out for meals so she could eat, but they’d keep giving her those looks and the guilt would fill her again so she just slowly started coming less and less unless one of the others, she wasn’t even sure who it was most of the time anymore, dragged her to eat.

She also knew O was still there, still being able to hear him, but it was easier to ignore him considering she stayed locked up in her room.  Besides, Roman’s death was probably partially his fault as well.

But...eventually, she couldn’t take everyone trying to help her anymore.  She didn’t deserve to be cheered up, not after what she had done.

She wasn’t going to follow Roman’s footsteps, knowing that could hurt Thomas, but as long as she stayed away from the cliff, the subconscious was a good place to hide from the others.  Then they could stop worrying about her.  She wasn’t expecting to run into the person she was filled with guilt about a few weeks into her hiding out in the subconscious from the others.

“..Rachel what are you doing here,” she heard Roman asked.  

Rachel’s breath hitched upon hearing him.  She tried to get up and bolt away only to immediately fall. 

Rachel looked down at her body, not understanding why it wasn’t cooperating.  She hadn’t eaten anything….in a while….but sides didn’t need to eat, there was no reason her body should have given up on her like that.

She heard a whistle from behind her and stilled, knowing it was O.  “Daang Ro seems like Ray here was trying to run away from you.”

Oh, how Ray wanted to turn around and glare at him.  But glaring at O meant she’d have to look at Roman.  And she couldn’t stand seeing how angry he must be.  And that wasn’t even mentioning how much the guilt was eating at her.

“Shut up O, not the time,” Roman said with a slight sigh.  She heard footsteps approach her but refused to turn around to look.

“Ray, how long have you been here?”

Rachel hesitated, honestly not sure how long she had been in here. 

Roman went quiet, maybe talking quietly with O, but Rachel wasn’t sure what he talking to him about.  

“Ray we have to get you back to the others, they’ll be able to help more than I can.”

“Or we could-”

“No O, we are not throwing Ray off the cliff.”

“Fiiinnne.”

Roman leaned down to try to help Rachel up and she flinched slightly at his touch. She felt Roman pause at this, causing the thoughts to start spiraling again and her guilt to rise up.

“Ray, please, you need help, and the others can help you.  Please, we need to get you to the others, Ray.”

Rachel didn’t say anything but tried to get up. Only to fall back down as her legs gave out on her. ...How long had she been here?

Roman went quiet again, making Rachel worry again.

“Okay so apparently I’m not solid enough to pick Ray up,” Roman muttered.  “But she can’t walk back to the others. ...O, I’m going to see if I can get someone to help Ray, that is not an invitation to try to throw her off the cliff.”

O pouted slightly at that.  “You’re no fuuuun”

“No pushing Ray off the cliff,” Roman repeated before heading into the mindpalace for the first time in who knows how long.

“You know you’ve never been this quiet before RayRay,” O said, clearly teasing. “Makes you think you’re up to something, hiding out in the Subconscious like this~”

Rachel refused to respond to him.  After all, it was partially his fault that Roman….Another rush of guilt filled Ray as she thought about what happened.

O seemed confused for a second before he seemed to realize something.  “..I didn’t do this...did I?” 

Rachel didn’t respond.

“I thought I had,” O said, apparently starting to talk to myself, “But this is...more than what I would have done.  It’s almost like someone’s been torturing you,” O hummed.

No that wasn’t right.  This wasn’t torture.  She deserved this.

Fortunately, Roman showed back up, with someone with him, Rachel wasn’t sure who until she heard them speak up though.

“..Ray,” she heard Remus ask and she flinched slightly upon hearing the confusion and worry in his voice.  She hadn’t meant to worry them she just...couldn’t look at anyone without feeling the guilt anymore.

“I found her in here, I’m not sure how long she’s been in here but I know I can’t help her like...this,” Roman said.   Ray could tell he was gesturing to himself here without even turning around.

“Alright but you’re explaining exactly what happened as I help,” Remus said.  She could tell he was teasing. 

She heard Remus’ footsteps as he approached her.  That still didn’t prepare her for getting picked up.  And it definitely didn’t stop the squeak the came out when Remus picked her up.

“Alright let’s get you back to the others Ray.”

“You still need to explain exactly what happened Ro,” Remus said with a playful glare.

As soon as she heard Roman start to explain, she tuned out.  She didn’t want to hear how much Roman hated her for what had happened.  

She stayed tuning out until she felt Remus stop moving in which she glanced up and immediately flinched at the look of anger on Remus’ face.

“Why are you even helping her Roman,” Remus growled.  As he did that the dropped Rachel.  Rachel stumbled a bit until she stopped her self and looked up at Roman.  She flinched and looked away when she saw the glare he was giving her.

“Remus it’s not like that.”

“You told me she was there Roman.  If she was there, she could have saved you.”

Rachel flinched, knowing it was the truth.  She could have saved him if she had just been a little bit faster. She had been too slow.

“But Remus-”

“Get one of the others to help.  I don’t want anything to do with someone who practically killed you.”

Rachel flinched harder and had to cover her mouth to muffle a sob.  Her thoughts surged a bit hearing that, all saying the same thing.  He’s right you know.

And with that, Remus stormed off, probably heading to his room.

Roman cursed under his breath.  “Don’t move Ray, I’ll go get one of the others.”  And with that Roman rushed off towards the common room.  It wasn’t like she had the strength to move anyways….even if she wanted to head back there.  

Before too much longer she heard footsteps approaching her.  She glanced up to see Roman leading Janus towards her.

Janus paused a second as he saw her.  “You actually found her,” Janus muttered before heading to pick her up.  “You know Virgil’s been worried sick about you Ray,” Janus sighed as he gently picked her up. “Thanks for leading her to me Roman. Though I want the full story later.”

“Sorry Jan,” Remus said, shaking his head, “if you have Ray, I need to go check on Remus, he just rushed off earlier and I’m worried about him.”

Janus sighed.  “Fine but I want an explanation later.”

Roman must have nodded before he ran off because Janus sighed and went back to the common room.

Virgil was very clearly pacing as they got there.  He clearly seemed relieved as he saw Rachel.

“Easy Virgil,” Janus said.

Virgil nodded.  “Let’s get you on the couch Ray.”

Janus lightly but Rachel on the couch before heading off to do...something...she wasn’t sure what.  Maybe to get one of the others or something.  

“Ray...please don’t do that again,” Virgil said from...wtf when did he move next to her? “I was so worried not knowing where you were this entire time.”

“..Okay,” Rachel said quietly, knowing she was lying.

For the next day, they didn’t leave Ray alone.  Logan left a few times to check on Remus and Roman but besides that, Ray was mainly out of it again, only really noticing when food was put in front of her.

It was all fine and good...until the next day.  Rachel was still pretending to be asleep when she heard them talking.

“So have we gotten any explanation of what happened from anyone,” Virgil asked.

“No, Roman hasn’t left Remus since he was sure I had Ray, I think they had some sort of fight or something right before,” Janus admitted.

“Ray probably knows,” Virgil muttered.

“I hate to say it..but doing..that might be the best way to find out,” Logan said, speaking up.

“Patton I see the look on your face, and you know I’d only do this if I thought I had another choice.”

“I know kiddo...but still…”

“We’ll just have to wait until she wakes up,” Janus sighed.

Rachel decided to pretend to sleep for as long as she could.  After all, if they’d do that once she woke up she wanted as much time with them still caring about her as she could get.  After all, once they found out what she had done.

So she pretended to be asleep until she felt someone try to nudge her awake.  “Ray, you need to get up, you can’t sleep the day away.”

Rachel grumbled like she was just getting up and sat up rubbing her eyes.  “Why not,” she grumbled.

“Because that’s not healthy,” Janus sighed.  “...Rachel, can we ask you something before breakfast?”

“Of course, what do you want to know?”

“Did something happen when Roman died?”

Rachel froze and went quiet, not wanting to answer.

Janus glanced around at the others and got a nod from everyone.

“I’m sorry about this Rachel.”

“Wait Janus please-,” Rachel tried to get out.

“Sorry Ray,” Janus said softly as he activated his power, that being the ability to make others tell the truth, “But I need you to tell us what happened when Roman died.”

Without even thinking, Rachel spoke, not being able to stop herself.  “I sensed something wrong and upon investigating found Roman over by the cliff in the subconscious.  I tried to stop him from jumping but he did anyway.  I didn’t think he would actually jump so it took me a few more seconds to jump after him.  I couldn’t save him because I was too slow.  If I had been faster, Roman would still be alive.”

Rachel was able to snap herself out of it after she finished but it was too late.  They already knew.  Before any of them had time to react she bolted out of there, not wanting to see the hatred on their faces.

She would have bolted all the way back to the subconscious if you hadn’t heard Roman call out to her.

“Ray what are you doing back here?”  

Rachel froze and turned nervously towards Roman...and Remus..right she had to pass his room on the way back to the subconscious.

“I...the others know what happened when you died now,” Rachel said honestly.  “They probably hate me now and I...just couldn’t stay there and see that.”

“The others aren’t going to hate you Ray,” Remus grumbled from where he was laying in his bed. “They could never hate you.”

“They should be though,” Rachel said without hesitating.  “Roman’s dead because I couldn’t act fast enough.”

Remus shot up with her saying that.  Looking at their faces, both Roman and Remus looked at her with...Rachel wasn’t sure how to describe the looks on their face.  Roman had a look of pure…was that horror on his face?  Remus seemed to have a look mixed with confusion and dread.

“Sorry for bothering you,” Rachel said to them with a sad smile before heading back to the subconscious before either of them could stop her.  Something drew her to the cliff so she decided to sit near it, but far enough away that she wouldn’t accidentally fall over.

She knew her wings probably wouldn’t be able to hold her in the state she was in now if she fell and falling might hurt Thomas. 

“Gonna be honest, didn’t expect you back so soon RayRay,” Rachel heard and immediately groaned.

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Aww but RayRay,” O said with a grin.

“I said I don’t want to talk to you,” Rachel repeated, refusing to say anything else to him. She didn’t want to talk to the person who had led Roman to the cliff.

She could practically hear O’s pout as he left.  Rachel sighed and curled up slightly.  At least here she wouldn’t have to see any of the others.  Especially considering they probably all hated her now.  It was better to stay hidden here.  That way she didn’t have to see how much she hated her.

That’s how it seemed until she heard someone coming her way again.  She heard a sigh of relief and immediately tensed knowing who it was.  No.  Not him.  Why did it have to be the person she failed.

“Here you are Ray.  Come on everyone’s looking for you,” Roman said.

Rachel shook her head and scooted forward slightly.  She couldn’t go back there and see that look on everyone’s face again.  Seeing the hatred on Remus’s face had been enough.  She couldn’t see it on everyone else's.

She couldn’t see Roman but she heard him pause. “You’re not hurt, are you Ray?”

Rachel shook her head as she scooted a bit further away from Roman. 

“Then what’s wrong Ray?”

“Nothing’s wrong Roman I just..can’t go back there.  I can’t see how much everyone hates me now.”

“No one hates you Ray.”

“Why wouldn’t they,” Rachel shouted, getting up and looking at Roman.  She could feel tears start to stream down her face.  “I couldn’t save you.  I- I should have been able to,” Rachel said sobbing, and backing up some more.

She didn’t realize how close she was to the edge of the cliff until she slipped. She tried to catch herself but she was too close to the edge.   

Rachel closed her eyes, expecting the inevitable when she felt someone catch her.

“Don’t worry Ray I got you,” Roman said, not exactly sure how he had Ray from his voice, but she knew that he wasn’t planning on dropping her.

Somehow, neither Rachel nor Roman exactly being sure how, Roman pulled her back up the cliff.  

The second Rachel was back on solid ground she collapsed and started sobbing.  

“Don’t worry Ray, I’ll be here for you,” Roman said.  Rachel glanced up, still sobbing as she heard footsteps approach and the others were still there.  “We all will.”

The road to forgiving herself would be a long one.  She had been blaming herself since Roman’s death after all.  But maybe with the other’s help...it wouldn’t be too bad. And maybe with time, forgiveness would be an option. 

#Rachel #rachel oc #virgil sanders #roman sanders #roman angst #rachel angst #MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH #Janus Sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #suicide tw #self-deprecation #self hatred #welcome to em got carried away again #XD

[vczxcxx]

Dwangela

When I watched the office I expect myself to fall in love with Pam/Jim dynamic but I fell in love with Dwight/ Angela dynamic.

I don’t know it’s just something in their chemistry, the slow-burn, the angst and the frustration made me root for them till the end. Kudos to Rainn Wilson and Angela Kinsey for playing them so well. I mean Angela is the complete opposite of Angela( if you listen to podcast of her and Jenna and interviews). With Rainn, he gives a bit of Dwight vibes but still different from him. Overall, Dwight and Angela is so different and the same time fits so well together. They are both miserable without each other but wouldn’t admit it. I am also a sucker for smol-tol couples. I mean Angela’s height barely reach Dwight’s shoulder and that’s with shoes.

Season 2- I presume that’s when their relationship starts? I love their little long glances here and there. And the sexual tension🔥kudos to Rainn and Angela for playing it so well. I really love the moment where Angela gave the bobble head to Dwight and you could see the genuine bliss from his face, and him asking Pam for gifts ideas is just so adorable. I love from here on you could see that Dwight is such an odd character with weird personalities but he treat Angela like a gentleman, respects her and clearly adore her. I also love how Angela is so supportive of her boyfriend especially the episode where Dwight was the best sales man.

Season 3- This season we get to see more of their relationship. I personally love the Christmas episode where Dwight was comforting Angela after the day she had: that little handholding again proves that Dwight is a loving and supportive boyfriend and also we got to hear their nickname to each other. I love how Dwight called her monkey and how Angela called him D so affectionately. I have a little theory of where the nickname derived from; maybe it’s like a code name for each other cause in a deleted scene in the episode where they go meet Jim in the convention, Dwight was calling Angela in front of Michael; and he was using her nickname. Or maybe when she was staying over, there was a high shelf that she could not reach so she climbed around since she did not want to ask for help, and Dwight was witnessing it quietly, thus decided to call her that. Of course, at first Angela would not agree to be call an animal but secretly she likes it because it’s their little secret. Then the convict episode, they decided to sit together as most of the episode prior to this episode you never seen them sitting together just glances here and there. I also liked Dwight’s iconic smirk, that lil smirk they he puts whenever it involves his lady friend. There are so many more that I love.

Season 4&5- for me these 2 season is filled with angst and made me feel sorry for Dwight. The first episode of season 4 started well with their secret gate away place with Angela asking Dwight to take care of sprinkles but Dwight has to mercy kill sprinkles: it’s cruel and inhuman, I understand and feel sad for Angela, it’s one of her first cat that she adopted and it meant a lot to her. She thought Dwight would understand but he went and kill her cat and the part where he wanted to compensate her with garbage; that was so cute but was hoping Dwight would understand that no cat will fill sprinkles gap but still the image of Dwight and the cat; just cute. I think they would gotten back together much faster if they communicate sooner. My heart breaks for both of them but my heart breaks more when Angela started to date Andy. Personally, they are the weirdest couple combination(even worse than jan/ Michael). Dwight proving that he could win against the computer is so Dwight if winning back your lady friend; and Angela not having any of it makes my heart ache for Dwight. And the part where Angela agrees on going out with him:( I just feel like Rainn did such a good job portraying. I feel like the whole season 4 is the phase where Dwight tried to move on but fail( again foreshadowing that they belong together). But they eventually got back together I guess during the episode where nobody was in the office except them. Again their sexual tension filled up the whole office and you can literally feel it( foreshadowing that they are going to get it on in the finale of season 4(?)) in season 5 we open with them getting it on in the warehouse( indication been going on since the summer). Now Cheating is bad and immoral, it would be better that would have communicate, and again I think it’s both their fault. I think Dwight was desperate in any means to be together with Angela because of how he loves her. His love for her burns with a passion so much that he would do anything just to be with her. And I feel like Angela was just meh just contemplating if she wants to take the risk( of being with the one she loves) or some one more safe and stable( Andy). She’s conflicted and at the same time has a lot of pride. Personally, at this point I hated how she handled the situation leading them on. During the duel episode I am kinda glad they both left her. I think at that point she realised how she should have thought it through with the men in her life; being greedy and holding on will make you lose both of them. And I guess they didn’t talk for the rest of the season after that. But we didn’t see Angela’s side of the relationship but it was disclosed in the deleted scenes with the volleyball episode where Dwight defended her; you can see that she has remorse and regret with what she did; clearly she still has feelings for him.

Season 6&7- with season 6, Dwight’s love for Angela is still there but this time he is more guarded and not as reckless as season 4-5 because this woman that he loves hurt him and he’s not sure if he’s willing to go through it again. The episode where he wanted a baby; he asked Angela of all the people indicate that he still thinks highly of her. Of course with how their dynamic is, they have a Contract to go with it; and Angela was hoping that Dwight would fall in love with her again in the baby making process. And Dwight got reluctant as they got through the baby making process. He feel more guarded and reluctant but Angela refused to let it go( her way of wanting to get back in any means(?)) so she found a loophole in the contract and wanted them to procreate for 5 more times expecting Dwight to fall in love with her again. Of course that didn’t work because Dwight seem uninterested to get back to her; so eventually she tries to move on with the senator. I think Dwight wanted to be more alert and not throw himself to love unguarded and with passion. I understand that from what he experienced he wanted to love more cautiously.

Season 8-season 8( we are nearly there), Angela is engaged to the senator. Still she cheated the senator with Dwight. Again they always seem to finds way to get back in any means. Again, Dwight is willing to let this affair happen because he still loves her but not like how he used to love her but regardless still love her so he decided to sleep with her. When Philip was born, you can see the elation in Dwight’s face and how he is certain the boy is his and how he still believed till the end of the season. I don’t understand why Angela still wanted kept the truth from him ( maybe to stretch out their relationship( writers idea?)) maybe of her pride and that she did not want to be an embarrassment?

Season 9- the season starts with the paternity test being negative dun dun dun. But I am still convince that Philip is his( as a Viewer anyway). And we get to the episode where the senator is revealed as being gay and Oscar is cheating with the senator. I love how the first person she seeks is Dwight and how Dwight misunderstand the situation😂. He still wants to help her despite everything, and comforted her. The end part of the episode just sends me when they ask tony about homosexuals. I think at this point you can see their relationship continues to heal and reconcile by means of being a proper friendship. I personally love it when during the Christmas episode, Dwight decided to just whip Oscar dying the bershnike part and he did a little glance to Angela . In 9x16, when they were both taking care of his aunt; I guess that is the only time we get to see glimpses on how Angela was when he was dating him( when she was staying over in the farm). And we could see Dwight’s love for her rekindle more; and with the timing and everything with the senator he jumped the opportunity by kissing her and declare that he wanted her back in her life, how they were meant together( that was the sweetest part). Interestingly the slaughter house turns them on😂. I love at this point Dwight put everything on the table and lay out his love for her, but as stubborn and prideful Angela is, she rejected him( i want to make more in-depth writing in this with the what ifs if Angela does swallow her pride and decided to get back to him). And we get to the few episode where Angela’s life when downhill when the senator reveal himself and also apparently cheated on Oscar; it takes a crisis in her life to become a better person like appreciating things around her, the thing she lost( I.e Dwight). I really love the part where Oscar and Angela supported each other, and the hand holding is just shows their evolved friendship. I also love the part where Angela pour her heart out infornt of Oscar. I think the Esther and Dwight dynamic; is a way that Dwight wanting to move on but can’t( with Esther being perfect on paper). Lastly the episode where Philip was in( he’s so cute and he’s look just like Dwight), the inner dilemma that he faces to propose to esther; and the speech that Jim gave to Dwight is just shows even they are frenemies they still have the utmost respect between them. The proposal scene is one of my fav scene in season 9. It’s just so them( I mean even with their last season ended with a car chase) it’s just so dramatic and them. I can imagine what Philip and their other kids would have to face with their parents. That was my finally moment, where I was like finally they admit their feelings🥺. I was literally cheering and screaming. I love the pure elation with Dwight’s face when Angela Said I love you; I always liked the little smile and the smiles where she’s around Dwight. She so beautiful when she smiles. The part with Philip is so I just was so happy. In the finale, the wedding is just so then weird but perfect. I wish they include the part where Dwight made Oscar the godfather.

Overall, I just love them so much; they were such a rollercoaster and I am glad they lived happily ever after with Schrute babies running around. They were also one of my otp who got together after a long time( most of my OTP didn’t make it :,(). I just wished we see more of it after the proposal scene with that 1 year time skip and personally I think we would see more of their relationship if they got back together in 9x16. Really bravo to Angela and Rainn for playing them so well.

#dwight x angela #dwangela #rainn wilson #angela kinsey #long post #my thoughts #just finished #the office

[angel-emmerson]

Rage | Self - Para

violence and domestic violence mention tw, 

brief racism and homophobia mention tw 

Ángel was 6 the first time he understood that his anger could get him attention. He was so used to being pushed aside, used to being forgotten about that when a bully on the playground pushed him over and his rage surged enough for him to fight back, it was the first time all the adults around actually took an interest. Granted it was mostly to scold him but they were at least paying attention, they saw him, labeled him a problem child but at least there was a label to hold onto. It was his biggest concern when he met Jan and Dawn Emmerson, that they might not be able to love such an angry boy but they could and they did. They helped him become a happier boy, a loved boy. 

Still that rage never settled. 

At 13, he learned that sports were a good way to handle the rage, to put it all into pushing other people down on the field on his way to the goal, to learn about how to protect his teammates so that they could win. In this way he learned that his rage could be productive, specific and used in a way that didn’t create worse consequences. But off the field that rage never quite settled, it led to slammed doors and loud music blasting from his room, it led to sneaking out and showing up back home with a black eye or bruised lip, always looking for a fight and always finding someone who wasn’t afraid to give it to him. 

At 15, his rage almost ruined his life, when an opposing team member shouted a racial slur at him and a homophobic one at his mothers and he was sure that he would kill the guy, sure that if his teammates hadn’t interfered that he might. A threat of charges being pressed, a threat of a juvenile detention center and instead he found himself sitting in a group of people almost twice his age openly talking about how anger had taken over their lives. 

The meetings persisted and he was able to find a balance, able to understand that the anger didn’t have to define him. He didn’t want it to, he wasn’t a mean person, he loved the people around him, his family and friends, his boys, his community. But when the anger started it seemed to be never ending, like a grenade; no one could stop him. But college was a time for reinvention, a time for forgiving his past, forgiving his biological parents, a new chapter, a new him.

At 20 he learned how damaging it could be when that rage was turned against him, when his girlfriend got so angry she threw a glass bottle at his back, the glass shattering and cutting at his skin, the slap to his face afterwards shaking him to his core, making him feel like that six year old on the playground again, making him realize once again that he was not the only one with anger. He could still remember that night, the way she had so quickly apologized, the way she told him she’d never do that to him again but he knew better, he knew that once that rage was there it would never disappear and it was what he said to himself as he packed his things and left, spending the night on his RA’s futon, wondering when he had become a person so willing to accept such a twisted version of love. 

So he pushed himself to get better, pushed himself to be the best at his sport, pushed himself to take things less seriously, to focus on himself, to pull away from the serious and commit to not attaching himself, commit to being a man of the people. It was why he ended up turning down his pro offers to go home, why he turned down his boyfriend when he asked him to move away because he was terrified of what it would do, terrified that if he wasn’t near his family the rage would take over and swallow him whole, that he’d go back to being a boy that everyone could ignore. 

So at 21 he started again, returning home with nothing but good stories and love, with an appreciation for the life he had, with a gratitude for the people who would always lift him up, who would always remind him of why happiness was so beautiful to hold onto, why he had to work hard to keep that rage away, why it would never be worth it to let it go. Therapy, a steady job, a house and two dogs, no partner but enough of a romantic life that he never had to feel too alone, at least it was what he told his mom’s when they asked. It wasn’t that he didn’t get close to people, he just failed to feel that trust, failed to be able to look them in the eyes and believe that they wouldn’t hurt him. So he focused on all the things that wouldn’t hurt and even in the lowest moments he was able to keep pushing, able to find a way to let the little bits of rage peek through without causing much disruption. 

But at 32 he stood in front of his biological father, their eyes meeting for the first time in his life and the rage broke free, snapped and ripped through him. He felt it in the punches he swung, felt it when his biological brother tried to tackle him down, felt it when they slammed him against the police cruiser, felt it as he pressed his back against the cold concrete of the cell. It had taken over and he knew in that moment that it would take absolutely everything for it to go away. He felt it as he sat there waiting for his parents to get him out, feeling like he had never run far enough away from that kid on the playground, that he would always be the problem child, no matter how much he laughed or dance or joked, it would never change that he was broken, never change that he had been given up for a reason. That he had been abandoned so carelessly. 

Now, at 33, he sat in the same building Quinn had his meetings in, his hands wrapped around a shitty cup off coffee as he mostly stared at the ground, ashamed, tired, wishing he had just stayed in that cell and been sent away forever. A selfish thought, a pathetic one but he had been so sure he was over everything, so sure that he had grown and in one moment, he had seen the same fear in his mother’s eyes, seen the way people looked at him as the party ended and he had become the thing he feared, become the type of man that people looked at and found a reason to be afraid. 

When the group turned to him to see if he wanted to share, he took a deep breath, running a hand over his face as he gathered himself. “For the past..5, 10 years I felt like..I felt like I had things under control, you know? Like I had my routine and there was always shit that was unexpected but nothing crazy, you know? Like...like everything was something I could handle, even if it happened to someone I loved, we could handle it. But lately I-I feel like I have no control, you know? No certainty and I thought it would be exciting but it’s scary and I just get..angry,” he sighed out, “So fucking angry and it..terrifies me. Like, like I look in the mirror and I’m like who is this motherfucker staring back at me? I mean I thought I knew myself, I’m so fucking..in tune with myself but I can’t stop being so sad, it’s like..it’s like I get these moments of feeling fine and pushing through and as soon as my feet settle, as soon as I’m reading to breathe another fucking wave crashes in and reminds me I ain’t shit. Just a little fucking useless dude who after 30 years can’t stop being fucking angry. And it’s like, all the meetings, all the therapy and yet I don’t...I don’t feel like I’m being strong, I feel weak as shit and it’s like all the anger I feel feeds on that and there’s no turning back.��� He sighed and pressed his hand to his face, “You just..ever get tired of being a person? Like...fuck, man.” 

He ended it there and sat back, managing a slight smile as someone next to him reached out to give his shoulder a squeeze and people around him nodded in affirmation. It was always a comfort to know he wasn’t alone but it never made it easier once he walked out of those doors and had to face the consequences for his actions. He listened through everyone else, actually listened, forced himself to engage and make space for other people’s pain, hoping to level out his own. He lingered around afterwards, caught up with some old friends, made some new ones, put some numbers in his phone with he promise to reach out, especially in the lowest moments. 

He walked outside, his heart still feeling heavy, the rage no longer lingering underneath but fully spread throughout, waiting for a chance to jump, waiting for any moment. But for now he could breath and so he did the one thing he always did when he felt lost, when he felt like he had no fight in him left. 

He went to see his moms. 

#self para #violence tw #domestic violence tw #racism tw #homophobia tw

[omnyamaflowerz]

Help Ch.5

Warnings: A/B/O mechanics, kidnapping, dub-con elements (especially in later chapters), violence. If you are uncomfortable, don’t read.

masterlist for more parts and other fics!

Jana went to the window, pressing herself against it. She thought about breaking the window and jumping, but death would be the only result. Hitting the concrete in a splat was not on Jana’s list of ways to go out. She could possibly try to fight again, but with this dull headache and Florian being very much stronger than her she wouldn’t make it. If she tried killing him, no doubt he’d end up doing her in instead.

Arjana jumped when the door slowly came open. Florian walked through with a fresh set of towels and a bag with clothes and body wash. “I thought you would want to shower before breakfast.” He said. “And don’t worry about work. I texted Grant from your phone asking if he could cover for you.”

Jana swallowed as she wrapped her arms around herself. She didn’t know what to say but, she had all the questions in the world. Jana looked at the open door, but knew if she made a run for it Florian would catch her.

“Go ahead and get ready and we can talk while we eat.” Florian said, motioning to the bathroom. He exited the room, the door closing and she heard the click of a lock again. 

Confused, but with no other options, Jana took a shower and got dressed as requested. She knocked on the bedroom door, hoping he’d get that was a signal that she wanted to come out. As expected, Florian opened the door, but stood in the doorway. “Can I trust you not to run? Or are we going to struggle again?”

Jana shook her head, arms wrapped around herself. “No.”

“Okay. Breakfast is almost ready.” Florian said. Florian lead her downstairs, keeping her in front of him. Jana saw any mess from yesterday was cleaned up. “Sit at the bar.”

Jana followed his request, fear riddled in her actions as she figured that if she tried to run again she wouldn’t even make it to the door.

Florian made her plate and slid it in front of her. The knife block he had was strategically moved next to the stove on the other side. He gave her a fork and napkin and sat back against the counter with a Gatorade. Jana’s throat was dry and even though her stomach grumbled, she couldn’t bring herself to move. “Arjana, it’s fine. Yesterday was an accident. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Why? What is this?” She whimpered.

Florian sighed. “I told you this was home. You’re my mate. You have no idea how hard it’s been smelling you and showing enough restraint.”

“Wait...you’re on suppressants.” Jana said. “My senses haven’t been-”

“I stopped taking them long ago.” Florian said. “I didn’t need them. I’ve handled myself fine without them. Haven’t I been trustworthy? Haven’t I done good when most Alphas would’ve hurt you by now?”

“Florian, wait. You’ve been lying to me?” She said. “You haven’t been on them?”

“No, not since the first three doses.” He said. “And we’re going to have to get you off of yours.”

“What?” Jana said, shakily.

“I saw how you were on them. The mood swings and other side effects. You were making yourself sick, babe. We don’t need them. We can maintain a relationship just fine without them. You couldn’t even tell I wasn’t on them.” Florian said. He got off the counter, walking around the bar, taking the stool next to Jana. She leaned away and flinched when Florian placed a hand on her thigh that should have calmed her. “Listen, I love you. I’m in love with you and I’ve done this so that way we can be together. This is us. We can mate, be together and have a family without anything getting in the way.”

Jana glared at him as he carried on. He believed every word of what he was saying. He wasn’t being righteous, but Florian appeared as if she was a cause or a mission that he was ready to give everything for. 

“Florian, we’ve only been dating for three months.” Jana said.

“And those months have been amazing.” He said. “I told you that I wasn’t letting you go. We’ll be able to help each other.”

“This is insane.” Jana said. “I have a job. I have family.”

“You told me just the other night that you weren’t loved by them. You haven’t talked to them in months. And the fitness center? We can come up with something for that.” Florian said. 

Jana shook her head and tried to pull away, but Florian took her wrists. Him touching her at first was calming and made her trust him even gave her butterflies, but now his touch was perverted and wrong. She couldn’t stand the sensation as if it repulsed her. However, rejecting him could also send him into a rage. Jana knew that an Alpha’s rage could be unrelenting.

Florian backed away from her. Jana took a staggered breath as his hand left her, feeling some relief. “You should eat before your food gets cold.” He said, getting up and going back to the stove to make his own plate.

Florian walked into the gym, like he always did. Bag over his shoulder, hands in his pockets and at the same time he’d usually come on Saturdays. Grant looked up from the help desk and nodded at Florian. 

“Hey, Jana is out sick.” Grant said.

Florian walked over to the help desk. “Yeah, she texted me. She thinks it’s food poisoning.” 

“If you don’t mind me asking, are you two good now?” Grant asked.

“Yeah, we’re great.” Florian said, with a smile. “We’ve been talking a lot these past couple of days and I’d say we are back on track.”

“Good. Just take care of my friend, alright?” Grant said, giving him a playful punch. 

Florian laughed along with him. “Yeah, yeah. I got her.” 

Jana searched the guest bathroom, trying to find anything she could use to pick the lock on the door. Florian locked her in, knowing she would try to escape. He couldn’t take the risk. Jana couldn’t find anything that would get her out of the room. She had no phone to call anyone and she was not jumping out of a window to die. Could she shatter the mirror and ready herself with a shard and stab him when he came back? Maybe hide in her clothes and when he got close, slit his throat? 

Jana was ripped from her thoughts by the door opening. She peeked her head out, seeing Florian walking in. “I’m sorry. You were probably bored.”

Jana walked out from the bathroom. She sheepishly stood in front of him. “Where did you go?” 

“Just ran a few errands, went by the gym.” Florian said. “No one suspects anything.”

Jana got this chill down her spine. Suddenly, it was hitting her that if she didn’t do anything this was going to be a permanent situation. “Florian, there is no way for us to keep this up.”

“Don’t worry about that for right now.” He said, reaching to caress her face. Jana leaned away, dodging his touch. Florian smacked his lips and sighed. “I get it. You’re still bothered. But, don’t pull away from me, Jana. Don’t change your feelings for me, babe.”

“Florian, this is wrong. You can’t hold me captive and expect me to love you.” Jana said.

“Baby, whether you know it or not, this is going to be the best thing. We’re going to get you off your suppressants, detox a little, you’ll have your heat and-” Florian said.

“Wait...no, no, no.” She said. “I haven’t had a heat for years!” 

“We’ll get you through it. I’ll be here.” Florian said, cupping her face. 

Jana backed away from him. “You’re just like other Alphas! All you want is to fuck and have someone submit to you.”

“I am not like other Alphas! I haven’t done anything to you! I didn’t smell you and try to force myself on you. I would never do that! I’m in love with you.” Florian said. He stepped closer to her, but it seemed he was more hurt than angered. “I’m not doing this for sex! I’m doing this because, we have been alone and finally there is a chance for us to be together, help each other and have a life together.”

“What is the help bullshit?” Jana said. “What do you need to help me with?”

“Heats, doing whatever you want to do, protecting you.” Florian said.

“You are not some knight in shiny armor. I don’t need saving.” Jana said.

“You don’t see it now, but you are going to need me. The same way I need you.” he said. 

“Fuck you.” Jana said, her anger took over as she didn’t realize that her hand had cocked back to slap Florian. The smack echoed in the room. Jana was surprised at herself, but even more surprised that Florian did nothing.

Florian nodded his head. “You’ll need time.” he said. “I’ll leave you alone to figure that out.” He started towards the door, but Jana saw this as an opening. Jana ran and jumped on his back. Her arms wrapped around his neck in an attempt to choke him. Florian immediately began to back into the wall. Jana grunted as she was slammed into the wall. She slid down the wall and whimpered. She clutched at her shoulder, feeling a pain radiated through.

“Damn it, Jana! I told you I don’t want to hurt you. This isn’t what I want for us.” Florian said. He crouched down, trying to assess whatever injury she had. Jana tried pushing him away, but Florian held her wrists. 

“No.” Jana whimpered. “Please, stop.”

“Let me help you.” he said, softly.

Jana tried pushing against Florian, but he pulled her legs forward giving him room to pick her up bridal style. She sniffled as Florian wrapped an ice pack around the back of her shoulder. “Jana, please. We can’t keep doing this. I don’t want to hurt you. I hate it. Us fighting hurts me more than it hurts you.”

Jana looked forward, refusing to look at him. Her lip trembled as she tried to fight the tears. 

“This isn’t how I want our relationship to go.” he said. “I understand that this hard, but you aren’t making it any easier.” Florian sounded more concerned than anything. He heard her sniffle, making him pause in wrapping the ice bag. He moved to the side, craning his head to look at her face. 

Jana tried turning away so, he couldn’t see the tears. Florian sighed, tucking the last of the ace wrap in, making sure it was tight. “Come here.” he said.

“No.” Jana whispered.

“Jana, please.” Florian said, trying to turn her around.

“Stop. Don’t touch me.” she lightly sobbed.

“Arjana, look at me.” Florian said. Jana still refused, trying to push him away. “Look at me.” His voice was now more stern and demanding. Jana hung her head as she turned in the barstool. Florian held her chin with his thumb and index finger, lifting her head up.

“I’m sorry. We’re going to find an easier way.” Florian said. “Promise me you’ll work with me.”

Jana bit her lip. She wasn’t giving him anything. This wasn’t going to be her life. She looked in Florian’s eyes to see softness. How could he be soft? He was the one doing this her? Why couldn’t he see this was wrong? 

Florian watched the tears roll down her cheeks, bringing his other hand to wipe them away. Jana let out a stuttering breath as she was frustrated. “Please, don’t cry.” he said. “I hate seeing you cry, Jana.” 

“Florian, this isn’t right.” she whimpered. “If you love me, you’ll see that and let me go.”

“And I do love you. It’s because I love you that I’m doing this. Don’t you want someone to dedicate themselves to you?” he asked.

Jana shook her head. “This isn’t it.” 

“You don’t see it now, but you will.” Florian said. He leaned down, looking for a kiss. Jana tried to pull away, but Florian held her head in place. Her hands gripped his wrists in an attempt to pry them off, but Florian’s strength outmatched hers. Jana fought not to shake under his grip. She wished she could jerk away, but Florian had her trapped. He pressed his forehead to hers. “You’ll see that I can make you happy, baby. You’re all I want.”

Jana grunted as her lips connected with Florian’s. Before, she would have happily accepted the soft and tender kiss, but now she couldn’t stand it. Disgust rippled through her. She wanted to pull away, but she couldn’t with Florian holding her like this. Jana tried holding her breath, but Florian continued, slipping his tongue in her mouth.

The night ended with Florian holding Jana on the couch. She had given up for the night. With Florian holding her to his chest, there was no escaping him. Plus, she would only get hurt again. First, she hit her head then it was her shoulder. What if she was seriously hurt the next time? She couldn’t risk it not when she had a real chance at escape. Jana tried coming up with a plan in her head. Somehow, she was going to make it out of this.

#florian munteanu fic #florian munteanu x black reader #dark!florian munteanu #florian munteanu x black!oc #a/b/o dynamics #a/b/o

[jessiewre]

Day 22

Sun 26th Jan 💜

It’s been a year to the day since we lost Nanny. That’s mad isn’t it. Miss that legend.

Woke up at about 5am because we’d gone to bed too early, but managed to power through and stay in bed till 7am. Phil got up and continued researching his new obsession - a half marathon near Kilimanjaro - and I joined him at 8:30am for Spanish omelette breakfast included in our 25$ a night room. Good deal that init. People say that in London you’re never further than like 5 meters away from a rat. Well thats like me and good deals, there’s always one close by for me to sniff out. Maybe I’m more like one of those pigs and the deals are truffles.

I digress...

The hostel manager was now wearing a chefs coat and I realised he was now the chef. What a multi-talented chap he was. I threw him into a frenzy by asking for salt, pepper, ketchup and chilli sauce, and eventually went into the kitchen myself to assist.

The ketchup was in a huge bucket bottle in the fridge and he gracefully glugged it out into a plastic squeezey bottle that he couldn’t find the lid for. Yum.

Shout out to Stella and Helen who will surely boke at that description of keptchup.

We got bodas to the Woman’s Centre for the recommended walking tour starting at 10am - but there was a big bike race on believe it or not, and so road blocks meant we had to walk the last kilometre. Phil was loving the bike race, I could see his legs twitching like he was imagining himself on a bike that moment, but I soon snapped him back to reality by power-walking ahead to avoid us being super late to the walk.

The sky was rapidly turning a dark shade of grey but Phil assured me that the weather report he’d checked stated that there would be no rain until midday or later.

You may be able to sense where this is going.

We arrived at the Centre and sat in the sofa area for the introduction, and the exact moment the woman began to talk and tell us about the community, the rain began to thunder on the metal roof and no one could hear a word she said. After 10 minutes, the intro finished and the rain actually calmed down a little, but then it went totally crazy again and me and Phil looked at each other like...hmm should we just not do this walking tour.

Another English girl there was thinking the same thing and the 3 of us decided to ditch the tour and head back the next day, while the 3 older people and a young American woman went off in the torrential rain with umbrellas. Umbrella’s are all good and well but I couldn’t see another soul on the streets so I seriously doubted how good a community walking tour would be in this weather. We chatted to the English girl, Esther, and she was ending a weeks work doing research for the Princes Trust who she works for. In a nutshell, she creates programmes for local groups in different countries to integrate technology into their lives to improve their prospects and quality of life. Really interesting! Phil mentioned that she should hang at our hostel later if she wanted as we were planning on trying out the bowling alley on site, and she was really up for that, especially considering she was in Kigali on her own and it was her last night.

The rain eventually calmed down enough for us to jump on a boda and we decided that considering the rain, it would be appropriate to visit the Genocide Museum at this point. We knew we were going to visit it at some point so made sense to be inside during the rain.

We were really hungry though and didn’t want to rush through the museum, so thankfully there was a cafe on site where we had a vege burger and vege panini, both with chips. We decided we’d try and lay off the chips for a while after that meal, it was the chip that broke the camels back.

The Rwandan Genocide museum was a harrowing and necessary visit.

The below information is upsetting, I’ll warn you now.

genocide

noun

noun: genocide; plural noun: genocides

1. the deliberate killing of a large group of people, especially those of a particular nation or ethnic group.

To briefly summarise, the problems began when the country was ‘colonised’ - or should we say if we’re being honest, when the country was invaded against its will. The Germans were first in 1899 then the Belgians in 1916 and then the Belgian’s decided to split the country into three different groups. Ultimately this created a sort of competition between the groups of people that had never existed before and this was what they say sparked the issues in the country. Fast forward to 1994, and the genocide officially began, over a period of 100 days - neighbours were murdering neighbours, friends were murdering friends. Relatives even betrayed each other. By turning people against each other, the ringleaders were able to sit back and watch the killings happen for them.

Being in the country now, its very difficult to imagine it happening, as it feels vibrant, friendly and safe. But the images in the museum leave you under no illusions. People were mindlessly slaughtered, no one was spared - children, pregnant women and men. It was absolutely mind-blowingly horrendous.

The museum talks a lot about how the international community sat back and let it happen, like Rwanda was on another planet that no one cared about. There is obviously a lot of pain from that which was difficult to read about.

But there were also a number of people who put themselves on the line by hiding people in their houses and gardens, saving many lives. Unfortunately, there were not enough of those people and over a million people were killed. They are still uncovering mass graves today.

There were videos playing with interviews from survivors talking about the guilt they feel from being the only member of their family who survived. But incredibly, they spoke about forgiveness and said they would like to forgive the perpetrators if they were willing to ask for forgiveness. They spoke about moving forward with only peace in mind, as this was what would move Rwanda forward in a peaceful way. By seeking revenge, the violence and pain would continue, they said. It’s unbelievable to hear that from someone who watched their innocent young siblings and mother murdered by machete in front of their very eyes. You can’t even imagine what this person has gone through.

One of the most difficult parts of the museum was The Children’s Room. This section had beautiful photos of child victims printed in large portraits displayed around the room, with a small plaque underneath each one with bullet points of information about the child, like:

Name

Age

Favourite Snack

Best Friend


Then the final point for every child was

Cause of death

The descriptions here were detailed and distressing.

Obviously there is a huge amount of detail missing from this account of the genocide and I urge you to have a read about it if you have time and are interested.

We left there after a few hours taking it all in and went to find the Inema Art gallery, as we’d read about it being a really cool artists space that has had a lot of international interest.

It was different to what I expected, as there wasn’t actually a lot of pieces in there - more like a few extremely large pieces, each priced around $5000. So obviously, we bought two and headed off.

Well anyway, some of the artists were there stood near their art in smart clothes and were hoping for a super rich muzungu coming in and buying everything. That was not going to be us, so we thanked them and headed to the cafe for a little coffee.

Not before I asked them if there were any female artists there.

One guy said No, the women in Rwanda seem to stick to the craft-making and THEN he said that even though many are good at art, he thinks they are lacking in passion.

I said Hmm perhaps you means Confidence, not passion.

He was like Oh yeah, maybe that.

Yeah MAYBE THAT mate.

We boda’d back to the hostel and Phil donned up in his gear for a run. Just before heading off, he finally booked himself a spot onto the Kilimanjaro half marathon in Moshi, Tanzania on 1st March. FFS. Better get practicing on my excited supportive girlfriend look then.

Meanwhile I sat in the hostel garden watching videos on how to use Procreate on the iPad. Suddenly realised Phil had been gone AGES and then he rocked up having run like 10 MILES and then said Oh also, I may have tripped over and potentially broken my toe.

He’d taken out his phone to check the map and ended up kicking a bit of metal sticking out of the group, and then he’d fallen over and made a few new cracks on his phone screen (to join the 5 that were already there).

Wicked.

Phil had a quick shower and change while hobbling around on his bad foot (I hear broken toes are brilliant for half marathons), and Esther arrived at the hostel, so we went searching for a restaurant open on a Sunday. After a few fails, we eventually stumbled across a place called Afrika Bite and negotiated the 10k per person meaty Rwandan platter down to 5k each for a vegetarian version for all of us. It was so good! Garlic potatoes, peanut sauce, rice, vegetables, fried banana, salad, plus some ‘fish fingers’ ordered as an extra. Such a welcome relief to eat something local and delicious. Shout out to those who are reading this blog mainly for the food descriptions.

We went back to the hostel to play in East Africa’s 2nd bowling alley (the only other one is in Nairobi!) and Esther made sure she mentioned she had a ‘bad neck’. That would explain her unbelievably bad scoring thats for sure. Ok now to be fair, Phil the physio also advised that she use the heaviest ball available which turned out to be truly awful advise and after a stagnant run of about 2 points in 6 goes, she tried a really light ball - and actually hit some pins! Go Esther.

Can I also mention that this bowling alley had a system where a bloke hidden at the end would organise the pins and reset them for us manually using a kind of lever system. He always managed to move his hands out of the way before the ball struck the pins of course.

Esther headed back to her hotel and we ended up playing basketball on the two hoops game with Desire the manager. Our quick game of ‘How many can you score in 1 minute’ managed to take over our lives for over an hour. My record was 23, Phil’s 24 (he’s taller init) and Desire managed 33 (well, he works there so ya know). Was addictive and super fun and I got the impression Desire will spend the next year working on his pb.