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jali-writes · 2 years

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A working list of anime I have watched (in whole or in part)

Since covid lockdowns started in 2020, I decided, for lack of anything else to do, to start cataloguing all the anime titles I’d seen. And spoiler, it’s been a lot! The list will be updated now and then as I dredge up titles I’ve forgotten about, and new stuff I start watching.

Descriptions and recommendations are based on my opinion and taste. If you don’t like that I’ve watched a certain title, or what I had to say about it, kindly eat my ass :)

Adult content is mixed up with child-friendly titles. If you’re a minor looking up any of these titles, that’s on you and your own discretion. I’m not your babysitter.

I’m posting this to my “stuff I made” blog, and I’m not super active here. If you wanna follow my main blog where I braindump and post anything and everything, hit up @titimylove

12 Kingdoms -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Underrated & so good. Fantasy isekai sorta thing based around chinese mythology. Has unicorns!

5cm per second -- boring -- Gorgeous animation flex, but not much happens.

7 Seeds -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- If you survived the apocalypse, what would your role be? Post-apocalyptic world to be repopulated by carefully selected teams of people. Incredible social experiment but without the garbage of the fallout series.

91 Days -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Prohibition-era mafia and bootleggers, dope shit.

A Silent Voice -- Recommended -- Might make you cry. Deaf girl learns to forgive her childhood bully and learn to live again through depression.

A Whisker Away -- Recommended -- Adorable and imaginative. Who hasn't wanted to become a cat?

Aachi and Ssipak -- Dumb but good -- Literal toilet humor. Shit jokes everywhere (literally that's the movie).

Aggressive Retsuko -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- The best thing sanrio ever did.

Ah My Goddess anime -- Just Ok

Ah my Goddess movie -- Just Ok

AICO -- Recommended -- Cool sci-fi thing, Matrix-y vibes.

Akanesasu Shoujo -- Recommended -- Really cool, underrated. An alternative take on magical girls!

Akatsuki no Yona -- Recommended -- Another ancient-China-ish series involving dragons and male harem. Princess Yona narrowly escapes a coup that kills her king father and has to scrounge up the forces and skills to retake her kingdom.

Akira -- Overrated

All-purpose cultural catgirl Nuku Nuku

Amaama to Inazuma -- Recommended -- Bring kleenex. Dad with child slice of life, so sweet, so emotional.

Amazing Nuts! -- Artsy -- Do you like experimental animated shorts with cool music?

Angel Beats -- Overrated

Angel Sanctuary -- Trash -- I can't believe they fucked over this beautiful manga this way. The ova is shit, please read the manga.

Angel's Egg -- Artsy

Anohana -- trash

Ao no Exorcist -- Dumb but good

Aoi Honoo -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- This one is mainly liveaction but it's so damn funny.

Arashi no Yoru ni -- Just Ok

Arjuna -- Preachy -- Imo it was preachy.

Arrietty -- Just Ok -- Based loosely on the book the borrowers.

Avatar, The Last Airbender -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Incredible magic and worldbuilding. Super fun urban fantasy where fairie realm meets grizzled cops!

Ayashi no Ceres -- Depressing -- It's a little distressing how these twins feel about each other. Pretty good but I found the ending wholly unsatisfying.

Baccano! -- Recommended -- Brilliant concept. Another prohibition era piece. The music is bomb and I have no idea how to describe the story lol it's a wild ride.

Back Street Girls -- Recommended -- So hilarious but so inappropriate.

Bakuten -- Recommended -- Fun and energetic. College dudes doing floor routines (tumbling).

Bamboo Blade -- Just Ok

Belladonna of Sadness -- Depressing -- Vintage anime, graphic sexual abuse. Very artsy but deals heavily with rape, kinda victim blamey.

Bihada Ichizoku -- Trash -- Dumb as balls series of shorts intended to sell makeup.

Binan Koukou Chikyuu Bouei-bu Love! -- Recommended

Binan Koukou Chikyuu Bouei-bu LOVE! LOVE! -- Trash

Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu Happy Kiss! -- Trash

Blackfox -- Just Ok -- I wish all superhero movies were more like this.

Blade of the immortal reboot

Blend S -- Just Ok -- So pervy and weird. No one in this show behaves like a real person.

Bloom into You -- Just Ok

BNA -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Stupendous incredible groundbreaking sexy impressive. In a world where some people have an animal alt form, they're oppressed & hated by normal humans, so they make a city of their own. But god forbid people let people live, amirite?

Boku no Piko -- AVOID -- DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT. Contains rape, gangbang, girlboys, gays, and everyone's like 7 years old. So fucked up.

Boogiebop wa Wawaranai -- Overrated

Book Seller Honda-san -- Recommended -- Funny. Cute & funny skeleton man works at a book shop.

Bride of Deimos -- Trash

Bubblegum Crash -- Just Ok -- 80's hair & music, robots, mechas, good times! If you like bladerunner, you'll like the Bubblegum series.

Bubblegum Crisis -- Just Ok

Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040 -- Recommended

Captain Harlock the movie -- Recommended -- Just visually stunning even if the plot tanks at the end.

Card Captor Sakura -- Recommended

Card Captor Sakura, Clear Card -- Just Ok

Card Captor Sakura the movie -- Just Ok

Card Captor Sakura the movie 2 -- Just Ok

Carole and Tuesday -- Recommended -- Brought to you by the dude who made samurai champloo & cowboy bebop. Couple of teenage girls living on mars (hello bebop-verse!) wanna make music.

Castlevania -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Gorgeous art and animation, story is a bit slow at first. Based on the viddy game. Vampires, demons, and witches, oh my!

Cells at Work -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Brilliant concept. It's like magic schoolbus meets bill nye? It's a brilliant look at human biology.

Cells at Work, Code Black -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Cells At Work in a different body.

Cheer Danshi -- Recommended -- Fun and energetic. College dudes doing cheerleading, that's it, that's the plot.

Chii's Sweet Home -- Cute slice of life about a kitten -- Pure, wholesome, sweet, adorable, cinnamonroll anime.

Children Who Chase Lost Voices -- Recommended

Chironup no Kitsune -- Depressing -- This little fox kit has just the worst life, it's sad.

Chobits -- Depressing -- Cute and fun but the ending sucks.

Citrus -- AVOID -- Abusive lesbians for the male gaze.

Clamp in Wonderland -- Artsy

Clamp in Wonderland 2 -- Artsy

Claymore -- Not bad, but not for me

Clover -- Cool concept

Cop Craft -- Recommended -- Incredible magic and worldbuilding. Super fun urban fantasy where fairie realm meets grizzled cops!

Cosplay Complex -- AVOID -- Contains sexualization of little kids early on, stopped watching at that point.

Cowboy Bebop -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Perpetually broke bounty hunters in spaaaaaccceeee

Cowboy Bebop the movie -- Recommended

Cutie Honey F -- Recommended -- The slightly more PG shoujo variant of Cutie Honey.

Cutie Honey Universe -- Trash -- Seriously how did you butcher this franchise so bad. Insulting to Go Nagai.

Daily Lives of Highschool Boys -- Recommended -- Really funny. Crack about teenage boys being boys being lads being bros.

Dance in the Vampire Bund -- Overrated -- Contains sexualization of little kids, I gave up. Some people rave about it being good, but I can't get past the literal 8 year old girl in scanty lingerie acting like someone much older.

Dance with Devils -- Overrated

Dances With Dragons -- Trash -- Honestly? Bullshit

Darker than Black -- Overrated -- Also bullshit.

Death Note -- Recommended -- Let's be real, anyone over the age of 20 is smarter than light tho. Guy finds a notebook that kills anyone whose name gets written in it. Everything goes batshit crazy.

Death Parade -- Recommended -- Brilliant concept. Somewhere after death, people are sorted into good or bad afterlives by playing various games at a supernatural bar.

Devil Hunter Youko -- Overrated

Devilman Crybaby -- Dumb but good -- Great series but wtf is this ending.

Digimon Season 1 -- Not bad, but not for me

Digimon Season 2 -- Not bad, but not for me

Dirty Pair

DNAngel -- Overrated

Dororo (2019) -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Seriously underrated! A daimyou sacrifices his newborn son to the temple of demons, but the goddess kanon spares the boy's life. He goes on to spend the rest of his life trying to regain his missing body parts and organs by killing any and all demons.)

DOTA, Dragon's Blood -- Recommended -- Cool world building, based on the video game.

Dr. Ramune -- Recommended -- Random shit always happening.

Dragon Half -- Excellent trash -- Crack!

Dramatical Murder -- Pointless -- I came here for BL and was disappointed lol. Someone get this guy supplements, he passes out way too much.

Drifting Dragons -- Pointless -- There's literally no storyline here, no character development, no plot, nothing.

Durarara -- Overrated -- I had a hard time following the story or giving a shit about anything going on.

Elfen Lied -- Depressing

Erased -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Oh man, it's an intense murder mystery with time travel, it's shockingly good.

Eromanga-sensei -- Overrated -- 12 year old girl who has no cencept of social norms draws porn for her step-brother's shitty novels (also they're in love or something?). Cannot overstate how cringe this is.

Escaflowne -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Complete story, very satisfying, incredible worldbuilding. Girl with psychic powers gets beamed up to a second earth full of dragons and animal people and knights and princesses etc. And has to somehow stop an evil fascist regime from destroying the world. Also, there's mechas!

Escaflowne the movie -- Trash -- They butchered the character designs and story completely.

Excel Saga -- WTF -- Honestly what the fuck.

Fairy Gone -- Not bad, but not for me

Fairy Ranmaru -- Recommended -- So inappropriate lol. Do you like buff dudes in scanty outfits that are actually fairie princes or whatever?! Do you love crotch shots?! Then watch this. Musical number every episode.

Fancy Lala -- Dumb but good -- Cinnamon roll magical girl series.

Final Fantasy Advent Children -- Overrated

Final Fantasy The Spirits Within -- Overrated

Flame of Rekka -- Overrated

Flip Flappers -- Recommended -- Brilliant concept, weird ending. So cracky but so cool. References tons of fun popculture, has magical girls, has multiple universes, alleged lesbians, and shiny rocks.

Flying Witch -- Recommended -- Adorable, wholesome, precious, easygoing. Wholesome slice of life about a witch living in a small rural town.

Fox Spirit Matchmaker -- Just dumb

Free! Eternal Summer

Free! Take Your Marks

Free! Timeless Medley

Free!! -- Recommended -- I watched it for the "Plot". The whole Free IP is just great man fodder imo.

From up on Poppy Hill -- Just Ok

Fruits Basket reboot -- Overrated -- Slow as balls, most characters are dumb af. Apparently, you're supposed to "experience the feels" but istg it's painfully dull.

Full Metal Panic -- Not bad, but not for me

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood -- Overrated -- Even this condensed version of the story is a sloggy grind.

Fushigi Yuugi -- Recommended -- Complete story, pretty satisfying. Girl reads a mysterious book with her bestie, gets sucked into a world like ancient China, has to gather up 7 warriors and summon a literal god to dwell in her body to work miracles & save the country.

Fushigi Yuugi Eikoden -- Just Ok

Fushigi Yuugi OVA 1 -- Just Ok

Fushigi Yuugi OVA 2 -- Just Ok

Galaxy Angel

Galaxy Express 999

Genius Party -- Artsy -- Funky experimental anime with cool music!

Genius Party Beyond -- Artsy

Get Backers

Ghost in the Shell stand alone complex -- Not bad, but not for me

Gilgamesh

Gingitsune, Messenger Fox of the Gods

Girlish Number

Given -- Recommended -- Gay boy with trauma joins a band with 2 closet gays and a baby gay that falls for him. I've personally been to every location featured in the show so that's uhhh my claim to fame or idk?

Given the movie -- Just Ok -- Was the gay rape really necessary? Major noncon scene between 2 main characters, I hated it. What was the point of this?

Gokushufudou -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Hilarious. Retired yakuza bamf becomes a house husband. Shenanigans of daily life ensue.

Golden Time -- Just dumb

Gon, the little fox

Gotoubun no Hanayome -- Dumb but good -- Today in "that never happened". Brokeass guy tutors identical quintuplets that are rich af but also somehow orphans with an absentee stepdad. Who will he marry?! (Spoiler: he chooses the worst one of them all. God knows why.)

Grave of the Fireflies -- Recommended -- Bring kleenex. Following the end of the war in japan, 2 young kids try to survive the harsh realities of being homeless orphans in a country moving too fast.

Gravitation -- Trash -- It's like watching two cardboard cutouts with "Genki twink" and "Emotionally constipated rapist" labels stapled on fuck around. Why is gay media like this?

Gundam Seed Destiny

Gundam Wing -- Recommended -- War! Mechas! Teenage soldiers! An idiotic princess!

Gundam Wing the movie -- Endless Waltz -- Recommended

Haibane Renmei -- Overrated -- Boring.

Haikara-san ga Tooru Movie 1: Benio, Hana no 17-sai -- Recommended -- Great history lesson. In the 20s in japan, a well-bred girl is expected to marry a halfbreed bastard from a rich family. But when he goes to war and is rumored to have died, where does that leave her?

Haikara-san ga Tooru Movie 2: Tokyo Dai Roman -- Recommended -- The second half of the story.

Hajimete no Gyaru -- Recommended -- Kicking stereotypes in the nuts!!

Hakumei to Mikochi -- Not bad, but not for me

Hakuouki -- Overrated

Hanasakeru Seishonen -- Trash

Harmony -- Not bad, but not for me

He is My Master -- Excellent trash -- Just don't think too hard. So inappropriate but also cracky af.

Heaven Official's Blessing -- Overrated -- Plot moves at a glacial pace, way too much talking without going anywhere.

Hellsing Ultimate -- Overrated -- Hitler? Seriously???

Hetalia -- Trash -- Imperialist, racist, infantilizing.

Hetalia The Beautiful World -- Trash -- Imperialist, racist, infantilizing.

Hetalia the Movie -- Trash -- Imperialist, racist, infantilizing.

Hige wo Soru

High Rise Invasion -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Brilliant concept. Riveting, high energy drama & violence! Can't wait for another season.

High Speed! Free! Starting Days -- More Free

Hinamatsuri -- Overrated

Hotarubi no mori e -- Just Ok

Houseki no Kuni -- Recommended -- Neat concept. Nifty concept about sentient gemstones living on Earth who are coveted by the moon kingdom's people.

Howl's Moving Castle -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Dude dodges the draft and finds a cursed witchling that can save him from his own curse.

Hunter x Hunter -- Not bad, but not for me -- Can anyone explain to me wtf is going on in this series, because I can't find a plot.

Hyper Police -- Recommended -- Seriously underrated! Animal-people, a fox lady with a bad attitude who wants a full 9 tail set, and crazy criminals.

I Can't Understand What My Husband is Saying -- Recommended -- Crack

Idhun Chronicles -- trash -- This show was cobbled together by rejected YA fodder. Based on a video game. Isekai flaming trash.

In this corner of the world -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Bring kleenex. A girl is married off to her husband's family right as bombing on Japan begins.

Inari, Konkon, Koi. Iroha -- Just Ok

Interviews with Monster Girls -- Trash -- Genuinely what the fuck.

Inu x Boku SS secret service -- AVOID -- Everyone in this show is problematic trash.

Inu Yasha -- Overrated

Japan Sinks 2020 -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Bring kleenex x10000. A wild adventure over the deformed and quickly sinking landscape of japan following an apocalyptic earthquake.

Jigoku Shoujo (all seasons) -- Just Ok -- There's very little character or world development. You can make a pact with the hell girl or her friends to seek vengeance but you're going to hell for it.

Joran the Princess of Snow and Blood

Joshiraku

Jubei-chan

Junkers, Come Here

K-On season 1 -- Recommended -- Charming and funny, super catchy music. High school girls make a rock band to save the music club and have a great time!

K-On season 2 -- Recommended

K-On the movie -- Recommended

Kakegurui -- Overrated -- HS girl gets mad horny over gambling addiction, everyone at the school is a freak.

Kakurenbo

Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi -- Recommended -- Needs more youkai and plot, less food lol. The granddaughter of a man who caused a load of trouble for the youkai population is whisked away by the master of an inn who has decided to forgive her grandfather's immense debt in exchange for her marriage to him. It's way less cringy than it sounds, and there's tons of recipe/food porn

Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne -- Recommended -- Complete story, pretty satisfying. A magical girl must stop demons from destroying art and other nice things. Something something alien invasion.

Kamisama Hajimemashita -- Recommended -- A homeless girl from a lineage of beautiful, strong, but crap-lucked women is offered a home at a shrine in exchange for becoming its goddess. But the caretaker of the shrine ain't havin it! (omg Tomoe step on meeee)

Kamisama Hajimemashita kako-hen -- Recommended

Kamisama Hajimemashita kekkon zenya -- Recommended -- The ending of this story is so much bullshit.

Kannazuki no Miko -- Trash

Kantai Collection -- Trash -- Literally what the fucking fuck lol.

Karin season 1 -- Trash

Katsute Kami Datta Kemono-tachi e -- Trash

Kaze no you ni, sora no you ni -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- History lesson + ghibli aesthetic. Based on a historical story of a young girl who saved the crown prince's kingdom by becoming his first wife.

Keijo!!!!!! -- Dumb but good -- Don't think too hard, this is honestly so stupid but kinda fun.

Kiki's Delivery Service -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- All witches have to set out on their own at 13 for a year of independent training. This little girl has to figure it all out and learn to grow up & grow into herself.

Kill La Kill -- Overrated -- Fanservice with the barest asshole plot to hold it together. Complete trash, and god bless you if you cosplay anyone from here.

Kimi no Na wa -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- It'll make you question your whole life. Body switching and time travel before and after a cataclysmic accident, where a boy and a girl somehow manage to save a sleepy rural town.

King of Thorn -- Not bad, but not for me

Kishugakkou no Juliet

Kiss him, not me -- Trash -- Brainrot.

Kiyo in Kyoto -- Recommended -- I sincerely hope this sparks more interest in becoming maiko and geiko <3 A really interesting glimpse into the world of maiko, and traditional Japanese foods!

Kobato -- Dumb but good

Koi wa Ameagari no you ni -- Just ok

Kokkoku -- Not bad, but not for me -- Miyavi does the op lol that's the only reason I started watching. Gave it up.

Konohana Kitan

Kuro Gyaru ni Natta -- Dumb but good -- I have no idea how they could possibly continue past ep1. It's all dubcon gender-switching porn.

Kuroshitsuji 2 (idk the one with Alois) -- Trash

Kuroshitsuji season 1 Book of Murder -- Recommended -- The child earl is the only survivor of his family after an accident and makes a pact with a demon to take revenge on whoever was responsible. So now the demon is his butler.

Kuroshitsuji season 2 Book of Circus -- Trash

Kuroshitsuji season 3

Kuroshitsuji the movie Book of the Atlantic -- Recommended

Lemon Angel Project -- Just ok

Little Witch Academia -- Recommended -- Complete story, pretty satisfying. A girl who believes in magic with her whole heart joins a witch school and learns some wild secreta about herself and her mentors.

Little Witch Academia, The Enchanted Parade -- Just ok

Louis Vuitton, Superflat First Love -- Recommended

Louis Vuitton, Superflat Monogram -- Recommended

Love Stage! -- Trash

Loveless -- Dumb but good -- Who killed 11 year old Ritsuka's brother, and why is this college dude pledging himself to him? Why do people have cat ears and tails? What's with the weird sexual innuendos? Behold, the great queer manga gone partly animated, about social expectations, various abuses, and trauma. Someday I hope the manga ending comes back from the skeleton war.

Lu Over the Wall -- Overrated

Lucky Star -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Stupidly funny, meme generator. Crack personified. Daily lives of high school girls.

Madam is a Magical Girl -- Dumb but good

Made in Abyss season 1 -- Recommended -- There's one wtf scene of the kid in kinbaku suspension but otherwise ok. Super interesting world building.

Magi, Kingdom of Magic -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Stupendous incredible groundbreaking sexy impressive. I aggressively recommend this to everyone. It's got wild worldbuilding based around history's greatest empires, Arabian, Indian, and Chinese mythologies, and so much male eyecandy.

Magi, Labyrinth of Magic -- SUPER RECOMMENDED

Magic Knight Rayearth -- Overrated

Magical Girl Ore -- Recommended -- Brainrot but so funny. Teenage girl inherits her mom's magical power but transforming turns her into a huge male bodybuilder in pink frills. There's a whack-ass love triangle involving her bestie and the bestie's brother.

Magical Girl Pretty Sammi -- Trash -- Brainrot

Magical Girl Raising Project -- Recommended -- Magical girl battle royale.

Magical Girl Site -- Recommended -- Beware the torture porn. Gore porn, torture porn. At least the brother gets what he deserves and thensome.... Eck.

Magical Spec Ops Asuka -- Trash -- Magical girls are like, a passing theory here at best.

Mahou Shoujo Nante mou ii desu ka -- AVOID

Mahoutsukai no Yome season 1 -- Recommended -- A lovely take on celtic mythology set in rural england where a special girl is rescued and taught how to manage her powers.

Mahoutsukai no Yome season 2 -- Recommended

Maquia -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Bring kleenex x10000. The end had me uglycrying for my mom. A girl from a longlived race separated from the rest of the world is thrust into it and decides to care for a baby she finds. He grows up but she never ages a day. War breaks out and things get bad.

Maria the Virgin Witch -- Great until the last 2 eps -- God I hate the ending so much.

Mars Red -- Not bad, but not for me

Martian Successor Nadeshiko -- Overrated

Mary and the Witch's Flower -- Recommended

Michiko to Hatchin -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Michiko step on me pls be my wife. An orphan girl is kidnapped by a beautiful woman who says they both are tied yo one man, and she's desperate to find him. Brought to you by the guy who made samurai champloo & cowboy bebop. It's about the journey, not the destination~

Millennium Old Journal, the Tale of Genji -- Trash -- An anime summary of the og novel but it really drives home what a prick Genji is. Fuck Genji, all my homies hate motherfucking Genji.

Millionaire Detective Unlimited -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- The concept is hilarious and the twist ending will surprise you! Rich dude joins a police task force to unravel the mystery of who killed his parents. The mad flexes this man pulls are astonishing.

Miracle train Oedo Line -- Just dumb

Mirai -- Just ok

Monster Farmer / Monster Rancher -- Recommended -- Complete story, very satisfying. Just a great fun adventure in a videogame world!

Monster Musume -- Trash -- Brainrot

My Roommate is a Cat -- Just ok

Nana -- Recommended -- A couple of 20 year old girls with the same name meet on the train heading to Tokyo. One is a fan of the other's (who is in a band) rival band and things get hella complicated from there. Nana Komatsu is a fucking idiot but I love the rest lol The music is awesome!

Natsume Yuujincho -- Pretty ok -- Natsume has been passed around various relatives all his life due to having inherited his grandmother's power to see youkai. As it turns out, she stole hundreds of youkai's names, binding them to her, and they want 'em back!

Natsume Yuujincho 2 -- Pretty ok

Natsume Yuujincho 3 -- Pretty ok

Natsume Yuujincho 4 -- Pretty ok

Natsume Yuujincho 5 -- Pretty ok

Natsume Yuujincho 6 -- Pretty ok

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind -- Pretty ok -- Gorgeous stunning fantasy world

Neo Ranga -- Overrated

Neon Genesis Evangelion -- Overrated -- Don't be fooled by the hype. It's hard to follow because it's barely cobbled together plot to make Hideki Anno's mecha fetish work lmao. The latest movies are better and tell a more cohesive plot.

Net-juu no susume -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Original and modern. A woman burns out, quits her job and becomes a hikkikomori playing an mmorpg 24/7. She meets a guy through the game and I guess they fall in love or something? The anime kind of leaves off where they properly meet irl, but the progression is really good.

New Cutie Honey -- Recommended

New Game! -- Recommended -- Girls making viddy games!

New Game! Season 2 -- Recommended

Nightwalker

Okko's Inn -- Pretty ok

Onara Gou -- Trash -- Genuinely what the fuck. It's garbage like this that makes me side-eye the industry when they say "anime is dying" when like…. YALL MADE THIS.

Only Yesterday -- Recommended

Orange -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Bring kleenex x10000. Every episode left me a sobbing wreck, so bring tissues. A group of friends look back on their highschool days and lament one of their friends isn't there anymore. One woman starts writing letters to her past, which actually find that guy in the past and change his destiny.

Ore Monogatari -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Stupendous incredible groundbreaking sexy impressive. Huge scary dude who is actually a sweet smoosh falls in love with a tiny little cinnamon roll who isn't nearly as weak as she looks. So good, so pure.

Origin, spirits of the past -- Recommended -- Plants grown on the moon attack earth and destroy it! Sounds crazy but it's really cool fantasy.

Oshiete Galko-chan -- Recommended -- Curvy plus-size gyaru girl has an answer to everything from sexual health to food to first aid, hairdos, cooking, etc

Otome Youkai Zakuro -- Trash

Our Home's Fox Deity -- Not bad, but not for me

Ouran High School Hostclub -- Recommended -- Silly and fun but the ending is meh. Brokeass girl gets gum in her hair and hacks it off before joining a school for the richest elite on scholarship. She dresses like a dude and gets mistaken for a dude, and after breaking something insanely expensive, is conscripted into the host club to pay it off. Everyone in the hostclub is disgustingly rich and out of touch with reality in the most outlandish ways.

Outlaw Star -- Overrated

Owari no Seraph ova, Kyuuketsuki Shahar -- Recommended

Owari no Seraph s1, vampire reign -- Recommended -- Had me riveted from ep1 minute 1. Super intense opening episode, couldn't look away. After a disease wipes out the human population ages 13 and up, vampires take over and turn the children into their private blood bank. Everything goes tits up when they attempt to escape, but one kid makes it out and joins the human resistance to destroy all vampires.

Owari no Seraph s2 Nagoya Kessen-hen -- Recommended

Pacific Rim The Black -- Recommended -- A story taking place in the pacific rim universe, in Australia

Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Super inappropriate porny crack. So funny but so inappropriate lol. Angels kicked out of heaven have to buy their way back by collecting coins from eliminating bad spirits on earth.

Paprika -- Pretty ok

Paradise Kiss -- Recommended -- God I love fashion but George can eat shit and die. Isabella's too good for you, homie.

Patalliro

Pet Shop of Horrors -- Overrated -- Not actually horrific lol

Planetarian -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Bring kleenex. Actually really sad. Guy wandering post-apocalyptic earth finds an AI in a museum who can't understand where all the people have gone.

Please Save my Earth -- Trash

Pokemon, Detective Pikachu -- Recommended -- Fun and energetic

Pokemon, Twilight Wings

Pokemon Generations -- Recommended

Pokemon movie 10

Pokemon movie 11

Pokemon movie 12

Pokemon movie 13

Pokemon movie 2

Pokemon movie 3

Pokemon movie 4

Pokemon movie 5

Pokemon movie 6

Pokemon movie 7

Pokemon movie 8

Pokemon movie 9

Pokemon Origins -- Recommended

Pokemon season 1

Pokemon season 2

Pokemon season 3

Pokemon season 4

Pokemon the movie

Pokemon the movie, I choose you

Polarbear Café -- Not bad, but not for me

Pom Poko -- Just ok -- I still wanna know howtf female tanuki do magic.

Ponyo -- Overrated

Porco Rosso -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Italian pilot fugitive combats an American hotshot for the cost of getting his plane rebuilt.

Princess Jellyfish -- Recommended -- Crossdressing rich boy makes friends with a nerdy unattractive girl that loves jellyfish.

Princess Mononoke -- Recommended -- The shunned boy of an indigenous village must find a way to cope with his curse and the curse of human greed tormenting his land and the spirits that live on it.

Princess Tutu -- Recommended -- It's magical girl ballet style with beautiful nutcracker music. A duck who falls in love with a human becomes a human herself and a magical girl to save them all. Features tons of classical music and ballet.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica -- Not bad, but not for me -- I cannot stand the animation. If saving the world meant corrupting yourself and becoming the very thing you were fighting for, what would you do?

Purple Eyes in the Dark -- Just dumb

Re: Cutie Honey -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Hilarious. Utterly hilarious 3 part ova telling the Cutie Honey story in a nutshell.

Record of Lodoss War

Rinshi!! Ekoda-chan -- trash

Rokka, Braves of the Six flowers -- Good until the last ep. Someone explain what happened to the ending? They threw out the baby with the bathwater.

Romeo x Juliet -- Trash

Sailor Moon -- SUPER RECOMMENDED

Sailor Moon, Ami's First Love -- Recommended

Sailor Moon, An Elegant Metamorphosis? Crybaby Usagi's Growth Diary

Sailor Moon, Chibiusa's Adventure! The Dreaded Vampire Castle -- Recommended

Sailor Moon, Haruka and Michiru, Again! The Ghostly Puppet Show -- Recommended

Sailor Moon, Make Up! Sailor Soldier

Sailor Moon Crystal

Sailor Moon Crystal season 3 -- Recommended

Sailor Moon R -- Recommended

Sailor Moon R the movie Promise of the Rose -- Recommended

Sailor Moon S -- Recommended

Sailor Moon S the movie Hearts on Ice -- Recommended

Sailor Moon Stars -- Recommended

Sailor Moon SuperS -- Recommended

Sailor Moon SuperS the movie Black Dream Hole -- Recommended

Saint Young Men -- Recommended -- So Buddha and Jesus walk into an onsen.... That's it, that's the story lmao.

Sakura Taisen -- Just ok

Samurai Champloo -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Amazing soundtrack and fight scenes. A girl searching for her father, a ronin searching for a purpose, and a ryukyuu native searching for his place in the world go on an adventure.

Samurai Pizza Cats -- Excellent trash

Sanrio Boys -- trash

Serial Experiments Lain -- Recommended -- Sewayaki Kitsune no Senko-san

Shaman King (2021 reboot) -- Overrated

Shaman King (90's version) -- Overrated

She and Her Cat -- Recommended -- Bring kleenex

She and her Cat, Everything Flows -- Recommended -- Bring kleenex

Shelter -- Recommended

Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso -- Recommended -- Bring kleenex

Shiki -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Legit scary traditional style vampire story. This anime does traditional vampire horror right!

Shin Sakura Taisen -- Recommended

Shingeki no Kyojin -- Overrated

Shingeki no Kyojin season 2 -- Overrated

Shirobako -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- An anime about making anime in the anime industry, really cool!

Shoujo Kakumei Utena -- Overrated

Shugo Chara season 1 -- Trash -- The person who conceptualized this must have had a stroke beforehand.

Shuumatsu no Izetta -- Recommended

Skate Infinite / Skate the Infinity -- Recommended -- Great soundtrack and upbeat story, sick action animation. Okinawa skater boys meet Canadian snowboarder and like, save the world of skateboarding from a corupt politician psychopath. Gay gay homosexual gay~

Skip beat -- Trash

Sky Girls -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Brilliant concept. Based on a videogame. Teenage girls in mechas try to save the world from scaryass monsters.

Smile on the Runway -- Recommended -- I don't know why tf this focuses on a dude making clothes instead of an actual model on the runway but ok.

Somali and the Forest Spirit -- Just ok

Sousei no Aquarion -- Trash

Spice and Wolf -- Not bad, but not for me -- I thought this was fantasy but it's more like an economics lesson???

Spirited Away -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Girl wanders into the spirit realm wiht her parents, and when they steal and eat the food there, they become pigs that she must rescue before they're slaughtered.

Super Gals -- Just ok

Super Lovers -- Trash

Supernatural the animation -- Just ok

Tales from Earthsea -- Overrated -- You can tell this movie was originally designed to be serialized.

Tales of Saiunkoku -- Trash

Tenchi Muyo -- Not bad, but not for me

Tenjo Tenge -- Overrated

The Cat Returns -- Just ok

The Dragon Prince season 1 -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Brilliant concept

The Dragon Prince season 2 -- SUPER RECOMMENDED

The Dragon Prince season 3 -- SUPER RECOMMENDED

The Garden of Words -- Overrated -- Gorgeous animation flex, but not much happens.

The Great Pretender -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- This show will bake your noodle!!

The Last Unicorn -- Recommended -- A unicorn, the last, goes off in search of her kind. She helps a bumbling idiot become a true magician, an older woman find a spark of life again, and unexpectedly learns what love is when she's "saved" from her terrifying nemesis, the red bull.

The Legend of Black Heaven -- Recommended -- Underrated, hilarious, charming, sick music. This is so underrated but so awesome. Guy who was in a hot 80's band is retired and working a boring normal life, married to his groupie sweetheart. Until aliens demand his help saving them because he's the only one who can play the right music to fire their weapon.

The Legend of Korra season 1 -- Overrated -- Never should have been made, this show was a mistake.

The Legend of Korra season 2 -- Overrated

The Legend of Korra season 3 -- Overrated

The Legend of Korra season 4 -- Overrated -- Forced lesbianism? In this show? It's more common than you think. What a crock. Keep telling yoruself they're gay.

The life of Budori Gusuko -- Just dumb

The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi -- Overrated -- It's a fun ride but the episodes are intentionally out of order and it gets tedious. Recommend finding a watch order list.

The Pet Girl of Sakurasou

The Promised Neverland -- Recommended -- Dramatic as hell. In a world full of demons and people, children are considered a delicacy and are raised in orphanages to become food for demons.

The Tale of Princess Kaguya -- Recommended -- Beautiful. Based on the japanese fairy tale. A bamboo cutter discovers a miracle baby whom he brings home to his childless wife. They raise her, and in trying hard to give her the best life, end up driving her away in disappointment.

The Wind Rises -- Recommended -- Set in the 20's thru 40's. An airplane engineer who loves flight is forced to design planes as weapons of war.

Thundercats (2011) -- Overrated -- It got cancelled halfway through :(

Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Bring kleenex x10000. A hell of an earthquake fucks up japan and a pair of siblings try their damndest to survive.

Tokyo Mew Mew -- Overrated -- There's 1 braincell in this entire series and nobody has it.

Toradora -- Overrated

Totoro -- Recommended

Trinity Blood -- Recommended -- Visually incredible but the gags don't age well. The world is in chaos and the vampire-eating vampire priest must bring the long-lost heir to the throne of england back to her people. The costumes in this are ICONIC.

Tsubasa Chronicle -- Overrated -- The story intentionally has no ending so it's annoying on purpose.

Usagi Drop -- Recommended -- Bring kleenex. Yet another dad with child story, so sweet, so emotional.

Usavitch -- WTF -- Lmfao Russian crack

Uta no Prince-sama -- Just dumb

Utakoi

Vampire Knight -- Overrated -- The mangaka can't draw for shit and has at best, a 6th grade level of fantasy creativity.

Vampire Knight Guilty -- Overrated

Vampire Princess Miyuu -- Overrated -- If you came here for vampirism or action, you're going to be disappointed.

Violet Evergarden -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Beautiful, brilliant concept, lovely music. A girl who had only ever been used for war as a soldier has to learn a new life when she's no longer able to fight. How can someone with zero emotions used as a tool for death become someone empathic and used as a tool for love?

Wata no Kuni Hoshi -- Recommended -- Sweet little story about a cat finding her paradise.

Weathering with you

Wedding Peach -- Overrated -- Another anime based on a dumbass premise.

Welcome to the NHK

When Marnie was There -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- A mixed girl finds it hard to live being moved around to various relatives following the death of her parents. Gradually she learns about her history and her grandmother.

Whisper of the Heart -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- A violin maker and a bookworm cum writer fall in love!

Witch Hunter Robin -- Recommended -- The animation is super dated but the story is great.

Witchblade -- Recommended -- So much exposed flesh, so much titty jiggle, but a complete and satisfying story with a sad end. Based on the american comic series. Witchblade is a weapon that seeks out a female host and wants nothing more than to fight whatever opposes it.

Wolf Children -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Bring kleenex x10000. Calling all monsterfuckers! College girl shags a wolf man and has his babies, and then he dies and she has to raise two wolf babies all on her own in countryside.

Wolf's Rain -- Recommended -- Complete story, pretty satisfying, pretty sad tho. Wolves know where the end of the world will be and how to find paradise beyond. A girl born of a flower is their guide, but obviously the rest of humanity wants a piece of it as well.

X 1999 the movie -- Overrated

XXXHolic -- Overrated

Yamato Nadeshiko -- Recommended -- Funny and somewhat educational if trite. 1 gremlin girl shacks up with 4 stunning gq type guys as they try to make a person out of her lmao.

Yami no Matsuei -- Overrated

Yashahime -- Literal child brides. Bad. Sesshoumaru and Rin did not deserve this shit.

Yobi the Five-tailed Fox -- Recommended -- Charming but sad story about an orphaned fox. Orphan foxling falls in love with a human boy and must make a difficult decision regarding becoming human or saving his life.

Yuri on Ice -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Stupendous incredible groundbreaking sexy impressive gay gay homosexual gay fags galore they here they queer!!! Aka hella good skater from japan who has the self esteem of a damp sock unexpectedly seduces world's top skater, they end up falling in love, and everyone couldn't be happier.

Yuri on Ice, Welcome to the Madness -- SUPER RECOMMENDED -- Stupendous incredible groundbreaking sexy impressive. About 3 minutes of top shelf animation flex of Yuri and Otabek flirting hard on the ice.

Yuu Yuu Hakusho -- Not bad, but not for me

Zekkou Gakkyuu Tensei

---- last updated 2022, may 19 ----

#list of anime i have watched #long post

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poolpartymusic · 7 months

Text

wait i wanna say more!

Okay, I went to the toilet and decided there is more to say:

WHAT DO I WANNA DO WITH MY LIFE?

Maybe caps is a little dramatic, because I am relatively chill about it. My most concerns are with my student debt, but even that is something I'm sure will work out eventually.

"Artificial Intelligence has genuinely interested me, but building smart vacuum cleaners does not sound right to me. Meanwhile, whenever I read someone is interested in film making, I get jealous for their bravery. But then, the proud that is burning inside of me tells me to go to WO University, to study something useful and secure. I always said I’d rather study something fun than something that would get paid well. I’m aware of what I want to do, but I am insecure. There is no experience in the film industry for me, except for all the years of writing. And then what? Script writing, is that what would make me happy? No, I’d want full control. I’d want to study Film Directing, but we all know I won’t get hired for that. That last statement is something I believe. Even if it is a logical statement, as the only people getting in are about 24 years old and have made shorts, I still miss the key characteristic for making it in the film world. Confidence. I tell myself I’d be willing to work hard, yet mean while I’ve been disappointing myself by surfing through fucking Habbo Hotel in my free time. I’m stuck."

I remember feeling at home at the thought of studying AI at Tilburg University. It was something I did find interesting, but I never realized I didn't even see a future in that work field for myself. At the same time I felt super cheekily excited about filmmaking: It scared me. It saddens me to read that I didn't believe I could ever really become a film director. I went into the film studies so insecure...

And then after two years I switched to Illustration. I do think it was a very good call. If I would've gone through wat film, I wouldn't have learned as much as I have now. Still, I don't want to become an illustrator.

These past months up to maybe two years, I've been telling people I aspire to make short animation films and documentaries, while also making little poetry books with illustrations. And while that is definitely true, I of course am also following an ICT minor right now.

And I realize that pedagogy or psychology is also something I'm interested in. I don't feel like I must make a choice between everything, but I do wanna broaden my horizon and put myself to work.

Therefor, I have two options. Firstly, I can learn more about coding and coding in art. I could make a project where I try to make a game. Secondly, I can spend time learning about child development, psychology and pedagogy. This because I'm considering doing 1.5-2 years of pedagogy work after my studies, just to earn money and try something new.

I think for now, and really I'm just brainstorming along while I'm writing this, I'll just need to make a decision. None is wrong, I can always change.

I do miss writing. I do wanna draw more- And if I decide to do pedagogy after my studies, I'll have to attend classes either way. So maybe let's focus on game making.

Okay. Now, I'll stop ranting here and I'll make a Notion page on which I outline how I want this project to take form.

I'll maybe keep you up to date, though this blog was mainly to talk about more personal struggles. We'll see.

0 notes

neversleepagainau · 3 years

Photo

please do not repost my art.

~~~

at long last, im so excited to announce that this ask blog is officially open! many people know I’ve been working on this intro for roughly five weeks, and I’m very excited to finally share it- possibly as excited as I am to FINALLY begin telling this story!!!

first of all, tumblr completely ruined the quality of that last panel- if you wanna see the full sized gif (warning you now, it’s enormous), you can find that here! And, if the gif is hard to read/hard to view, there’s a static version of this panel below the cut!

There’s also a ton of extra information that could answer some questions you might have, as well as a list of potential triggers to watch out for in the future! However, it is really long, and when I say really long, I mean it’s chapter-in-a-book-long so please don’t feel obligated to read it unless you have extra questions/have some bad triggers you wanna make sure to avoid.

Otherwise though, I can’t wait to see what kind of questions you guys send these two! One has to wonder… where in the world are they headed off to in the dead of night…

First of all, here’s the static image of Panel 8, as promised!

And now for some extra info on things going forward.

On every single canon update, there will be a description of themes in this story that could unsettle or discomfort some viewers. I’ve included tags to blacklist, and explained exactly how these situations might arise so folks who are sensitive to this kind of thing can prepare themselves accordingly!

I would recommend at least skimming this list if you know you have some bad triggers! This story will never get too dark or intense, as I’m attempting to stay true to the original spirit of MSA, but this doesn’t mean it won’t touch on those themes at all.

also, in regards to how much of this art is hand drawn by me- the honest truth is 99% of this is entirely freehanded. I took colors from the videos, but otherwise only used them as reference. However, if I ever used a canon asset to help me, I will always specifically say what exactly was borrowed directly from canon in a way that was more than just using images as reference and taking colors. for this post specifically, I’ll word it a little differently, but this will all be much tidier in the future.

the van asset is 97% freehanded by myself- I did take measurements of the canon asset, and marked my canvas so I’d know the width and height of the van, and vaguely marked where the tires would be.  I did trace the antennae ontop, as well as the cloud decals, one of the curves on the right side of the windshield, part of the door window at the very bottom lefthand corner, and the rear view mirror. The logo was not recreated, I directly took that and just altered the colors to fit the van. Other than that, everything you see on that van was freehanded. The van was also the only thing I used a canon asset to help me with for creation of it, meaning that the rest of the art in this introduction is entirely freehand.

moving on from that- updates will not take an entire month like this did. i will not be doing eight full color illustrations for every single update, and for right now, at the minimum, they’ll happen weekly! i can provide more information going forward once I work out how I’m going to go about things a little better, since things won’t be as huge as this introduction was. don’t worry though, the quality of the art itself will stay the same throughout the whole story!

and yes, lewis and vivi are in this too! there’s a big cast of characters, and lew and viv are just as much at the center of this story as arthur and mystery are- don’t worry, you’ll see them plenty soon enough!

finally, before we get to the content warning stuff, if you ever have any questions about how I’m running things, or need clarification on anything, please let me know! I’m happy to explain things in more depth if needed!!! and now, here’s the last chunk of this INCREDIBLY long introduction. ~~~ WHAT FOLLOWS IS A VERY LONG (!!!), IN DEPTH LIST OF THINGS VIEWERS MIGHT ENCOUNTER IN THIS STORY THAT COULD TRIGGER THEM. If you are not super sensitive or have very intense triggers, you don’t really need to read what follows unless you want to. Otherwise, I would at least skim this, so you know what tags to block so you won’t have to see this type of content.

Don’t let any of this worry you too much, by the way! This story is very likely not ever going to get extreme in any manner, I just like to be very cautious, just in case!

Also keep in mind that you can always ask me to add tags to a post, and it’s highly unlikely I will refuse said request. If I do, it will be for a very good reason, and I’ll explain it thoroughly, as well as remain open to any discussion about it. With that in mind, here are things to be aware of:

CHARACTER DEATH/REMOVAL FROM STORY: There may be characters in this story that you will get attached to that end up dying or not being in the story at all or as much as they were before. This story has chances for different outcomes depending on asks, but there are some things I have set in stone and a few of them involve these themes, so please be mindful of that. The tags to blacklist to avoid updates that touch on this specifically are #character death or #character removal.

DISTURBING CONTENT: This is vaguely worded because it is a bit of broad umbrella. There may be themes of body horror, gore, violent/upsetting/disturbing depictions of death (not any worse than Lew’s death, if it ever is I’ll be sure to specify ahead of time), creepy/unsettling designs and environments, so on and so forth. The tag to blacklist to avoid updates that include anything I consider to be disturbing to view is #disturbing content.

ANGST: This story will get sad, and broach on themes of abandonment, loss, trauma, depression, paranoia, self-hate, and things in this nature. What I can immediately promise is this story will NEVER have themes of suicide or self-harm. I do not feel this story needs to go there, nor do I wish to take it there. Also, while there is angst, I do not believe in beating characters up mercilessly- the angst is for the story and their development. This is not going to be a story that is only angsty. However, if any sort of angst upsets you, the tag to blacklist to avoid updates that include heavier, angstier themes is #angst.

PARANOIA: A few of the characters often get a sense of being hunted or followed, or something lurking around the corner, which can be upsetting to some viewers. A few characters may occasionally have moments where they express their anxieties in depth. The tag to blacklist to avoid updates that include heavy mentions of paranoia/depictions of it/make the characters (and potentially audience) feel paranoid is #paranoia.

UNREALITY: Lewis has some powers that can warp space and create illusions, and potentially will be in situations where he uses them in ways that could mess with people’s perception of reality. This can be very uncomfortable for some people to view, so in updates where this may happen, the tag to blacklist is #unreality.

SUGGESTIVE THEMES: This story will NEVER be explicitly NSFW, and will rarely ever feature these themes at all. It is mainly for the occasional joke here and there, but absolutely nothing more. However, if any implications of something slightly more adult make you uncomfortable, the tag to blacklist here is #suggestive themes.

ANIMAL HARM: Mystery may enter situations where he ends up getting hurt during this story, though he will never endure any kind of situations that mimic real life animal abuse. If seeing an animal be harmed in any way remotely upsets you, the tag here to blacklist is #animal harm.

~~~

If you made it all the way to the bottom, you’re a champ!!! While posts will definitely not be this long going forward, I really appreciate you taking the time to read this!

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mandowh0re · 3 years

Text

Remember Me

Chapter 1

Summary: While cleaning up the timelines that he broke, Loki meets and inevitably loses the one person that's understood him in life. But he's not losing you without a fight

A/N: Beta'd by @edgyvege

Warnings: Mentions of death

Word Count: 1619

Happy reading!

It’s a quiet evening, and the Avengers that lived in the compound decided to take advantage of the rainy evening and have a movie night. Steve had called Tony over, who had brought Peter with him. The father and son duo has stopped on the way from the city to pick up a plethora of unhealthy snacks, including everyone’s favorite chips and candies.

They’re currently all settled in the common room watching She-Ra. Peter’s head is resing on Tony’s shoulder, Thor is snuggled up to Bruce, Natasha and Clint are sitting in the same recliner, Wanda and Vision are on one side of the love seat, Steve on the other side of Tony, Bucky and Sam sitting on the floor behind the coffee table.

They’re at the part where Adora is being stalked by Shadow Weaver in Mystacor, when the TV suddenly flickers, the audio warping. There’s a buzzing sound behind them closer to the kitchenette.

Everyone straightens in their seats, suddenly on alert.

“Friday,” Tony barks, pushing Peter behind him, “Lights.”

The lights cut on and everyone in the room watches as the air seems to distort and glow, similarly to when the sun beats down on the pavement, before a blonde man walks out with a cuffed and collared Loki behind him.

Every person in the room jumps into a defensive stance, some already with weapons that are always stashed and hidden throughout the compound, and each ready to fight at a moment’s notice.

Thor leaps over the couch and calls his hammer to him in one swift movement, but he doesn’t look frightened or angry.

He just looks… Mournful.

“Loki?” He says with apprehension, tilting his head.

It looks like Loki, and he’s certainly bound the way Loki should be if he were up to no good. But he watched Loki die. He watched Thanos crush the life out of him and toss him to the floor of that ship as if he were a worthless piece of balled up paper.

The blonde man holds up his hands in front of himself, as if to signal that they’re not here to cause any harm.

“Please, allow me to explain why we are here before this turns ugly.” The stranger pleads.

Thor looks back to his team, making eye contact with Tony and Steve.

They look apprehensive, and Tony has an iron grip on his kid, but Steve nods carefully.

Thor turns back to the stranger and nods, but his focus is mainly on Loki, “Go ahead.”

The man drops his hands and pockets them before beginning his story, “Okay. My name is Mobius, and I am a Timekeeper. My job, like Thor is probably aware, is to keep the timelines safe, intact, and to keep them from ever intersecting. When the Avengers used the Pym Particles to go back in time and retrieve the Infinity Stones; Stark, Rogers, Banner, and Lang went back to the Battle of New York in 2012. When they infiltrated the 2012 Avengers to get a hold of the tesseract, they made an error that caused the tesseract to fall into the hands of that Loki.”

Thor’s brows shot up to his hairline and he whipped around to look at Tony, “What? Why was I not informed of this?”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to hold his hands up, “Okay, hey. We didn’t have time to focus on that, and you were still grieving your brother. It would not have done anyone any good to bring it up while we were still in the fight of our lives.”

“And what about after?” He barks.

“While I agree this is something you all should discuss, I respectfully ask that you do that later,” Mobius interrupts, “I have places to be.”

Thor huffs and gives Tony one last glare before he turns back to the two other men.

“Right, anyways. When Loki took the tesseract and escaped, he broke that timeline. It caused multiple branches off of it,” He starts to take a step forward to the group, but decides against it when Thor’s nostrils flare, “We tracked him down, arrested him, and brought him into custody. He was given the option of life in prison or parole if he agreed to help us fix the timeline and erase the others. And I’m sure you can imagine what he chose.”

“I mean, there wasn’t much of a choice, was there?” Loki mumbles.

“Do you mind?” Mobius mumbles back, then turns to finish his story, “Through several months of helping us, Loki has proved himself to be, well, no longer a universal threat.”

“How do we know you aren’t under some spell of his?” Natasha asks, “Or working with him?”

“You don’t,” Mobius shrugs, “But he does know everything that has happened to him and those around him up until his final death. He was given the choice of choosing where he wanted to go at his time of being released, and I believe it says something for him to choose here.”

“Not much, actually. He’s manipulative.” Steve chimes in.

Mobius holds a finger up, “That he is. But unlike before, he has a lot more to lose this time.”

Thor crosses his arms, “And what would that be?”

***

You hum as you stock the shelves with the new shipment of books you just received.

It’s a nice day out. Mid April, the trees and flowers are blooming, and it’s finally nice enough outside to leave windows open. The mini fan is running on the counter where the register is, and the music is flowing quietly throughout your shop.

A very pleasant day, indeed.

You hear the windchimes attached to the shop door tinkle brightly, and you call over your shoulder as you finish placing the last few books, “Welcome! I’ll be right with you!”

When you’re finished, you grab the now empty cardboard box and use your pocket knife to break it down as you walk back to the front of the small store.

When you look up, a tall man with dark hair and a black suit is standing by the register, hands in his pockets. He’s incredibly handsome and as your eyes scan his features, you can’t help but feel like you have seen him before.

“Hi! How can I help you?” You ask, tossing the now flattened box onto a pile of others before walking behind the counter.

The man looks at you, tearing his gaze from a picture you had behind the counter, and his eyes meet yours. For the briefest of moments, you think you see grief flash across his emerald eyes. But as quick as you think you saw it, it's gone.

“Hello,” He greets, his voice satiny smooth, “A friend of mine recommended a book, and I was wondering if you could help me get my hands on a copy.”

“Sure!” You lean against the counter and fold your hands, “What’s it called?”

“I believe it’s called Norse Mythology, written by a Neil Gaiman.”

Your eyes light up and you push off your elbows to stand, “That’s my favorite book! Your friend must have amazing taste!” You wink.

He nods, eyes never leaving you, “I like to think so.”

“I definitely have it! Can’t really consider myself a good bookstore owner if I don’t keep my favorite books in stock, follow me.” You walk out from behind the counter and wave the handsome man to follow you. You know exactly where to go, and weave expertly between the shelves of your small shop. You finally come to a halt and reach down to grab the book, handing it to him, “Here you are.”

He takes the book from you and offers a kind smile and he turns it over in his hands, reading the back, “Thank you.”

“Of course, let’s go get you checked out,” You smile, staring at the handsome stranger before you realize what you’re doing.

The two of you walk back to the front of the store, and he lays the book down for you to scan it.

You take another look at him, and you’re not sure what possesses you to say it. You later account it to having been alone for so long.

“Actually- Here...” You lean down under the counter where you have your own stash of books, and grab your own copy of Norse Mythology. You stand back up and place it in front of him, “Why don’t you borrow my copy? I know it’s not as pretty as a new one, but if you don’t like it, you won’t have wasted the money. If you do like it, we can talk about it. Either way, you’ll have to return it,” You look down to the countertop before bringing your eyes to meet him once more, “And I can see you again.”

A beautifully sweet smile spreads across the man’s face. His eyes flicker down, noticing that you’re picking at your nails; it’s your nervous habit. He places a hand on the worn paperback book, “Lovely. Sounds like a plan to me. Shall we say next week, this time?”

Your smile brightens considerably, and you feel butterflies come to life in your belly, “See you then.”

He bends at the waist, bowing slightly, and turns to leave. You watch as his slender hand grabs the door knob, when a thought occurs to you.

“Wait!” You shout, reaching out your hand.

He stops dead in his tracks and turns back to you, an eyebrow quirked.

“What’s your name?”

He stiffens slightly. It’s so subtle that you barely notice it, but you do. Finally, a soft look adorns the man’s handsome features, and he looks a little sad. But he still answers.

“Loki.”

***

Remember Me Taglist: @idunnomayn

Permanent Taglist: @a-place-to-blog-marvel-stuff @yes-iamironman-blog @paradoxicalblueberry @the-regal-warrior @transparentparadiseglitterzombie @marvelgem @propertyofmarvel @avngrsinitiative @my-leg-is-not-a-chew-toy @lyricalstella-blog @just-the-daydreamer @hufflely-puffly

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dangermousie · 3 years

Note

Heelo mousie! Love your blog! Do you mind recommending some of your favourite Chinese BL novels or shows?

I've seen the untamed and read it. I'm currently reading heaven's official blessing and I saw the donghua. Anything other than these two?

Awww, thank you!

Novels: I am gonna be lazy and literally copy/paste the entire danmei section of my top 10 web novels post (except MXTX’s stuff since you are already reading it.) Let me know if you need help finding any of these.

Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is also finding the middle path between their two very different philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two take up farming, get involved in the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

The Wife is First - OK, this one did not make my top 10 web novels but it’s a sweet, fun gay cottagecore fest. Our ML, a royal prince, and his spouse, a smart if delicate aristocrat, keep house, eat noodles, play with their pet tiger, make out and spoil each other rotten, while occasionally fighting battles and outwitting their court enemies. It’s so very mellow. That couple redefines low drama - they are both nice and functional and use their brains. It’s as if a nice jock and a nice nerd got together and then proceeded to be wholesome all over the place.

I mean, the set up could be dramatic - our ML the prince, lost his fight for the throne and is about to be killed. The only person who stayed loyal to him is his arranged husband the aristocrat guy who ML never treated nicely since he resented marrying him (marrying a man in that world is done to remove someone from the ability to inherit the throne.) And yet the husband stood by him not out of love but beliefs in loyalty blah blah. Anyway, he transmigrates back into the past right after their wedding night and is all “I got a second chance OMG! I don’t want the throne what is even the point? I want to live a good long life and treat the only person who stood by me really well!” And he proceeds to do so to the shock of the aristocrat who had a very unpleasant wedding night and generally can tell the man he just married would rather eat nails than be married to him. But soon enough (no seriously, it’s not many chapters at all) he believes the prince is sincere blah blah and then they get together and they pretty much become cottagecore goals.

In terms of dramas, I only do period dramas (or novels) so I am not the person to be able to recommend any modern BLs. There is a flood of upcoming (hopefully) period BL dramas but it’s relatively thin on the ground now. The two I will recommend is Word of Honor (which is AMAZING) and Winter Begonia (which I just started watching but which owns me already.) I have a tag for both - the one for the former is huge and I cannot recommend either strongly enough. I’ve heard good things about The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, but I am not big on mysteries so haven’t watched it for myself.

In terms of the upcoming BLs, the ones I am most looking forward to are Immortality and Winner Is King, but The Society of the Four Leaves also looks promising.

#asks #cdrama #cnovel

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years

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This is totally cool, lol! That's why I tagged you, I like different perspectives 🥰 and I adore lesbian Jenny

I've been thinking a lot about Jenny's character and sexuality lately since I'm in the middle of rewatching the show. I totally agree that she's attracted to women and most times she pursues guys it's mainly to increase social status and not because of genuine interest. Nate always felt different to me, though. Like, the two times she really pursues him is in season 2, when she's being homeschooled and trying to make it as a designer, and the end of season 3, which is after the whole Damien drama and she's just looking for someone who cares about her and respects her (I know you said once that it doesn't even feel romantic here, which I also agree with, poor girl just needs a connection). I do really see how it can be interrupted as comphet, though. Like she feels like she's supposed to be attracted to Nate because who wouldn't be?

I think the reason why I lean the other way is probably just projection. Jenny's been my favourite GG character since I first watched the show when I was 12, partly because I relate a lot to her, and since I'm bisexual... Add that plus the fact that I totally have had a crush on Nate and of course I'm gonna ship them. I've been relating to Jenny even more this time around cause I dropped out of school this year, so her season 2 arc really hit close to me. So this made my jenate feelings come back tenfold and also made me that much madder at Rufus, lol. I just wanted to go through the screen and shake his shoulders like "There are other paths than the one you want your daughter to have, not everyone has to go through life like society expects you to let your daughter carve out her own unconventional path you fucking idiot!" Luckily my parents have been way more supportive.

Mainly I just see Jenny as bi with a strong lean towards women, but I like to think about lesbian Jenny, too. It wouldn't exactly be the first time I had contradicting headcanons.

I don't know I just think it's really cool that different people can have such different interpretations of the same character. I think that's what's so interesting about fiction, to see how we view things differently depending on how we view and relate to things based on our own experiences. Tumblr can be so focused on hating people who disagree with you, but I like following people with different opinions, it helps me understand people better.

Yeah, I'm glad you tagged me!! back in November, some anons were mean to me about shipping Jenate (me??? who literally does not even - anyway) and ever since then I've been trying extra to ensure that Jenate shippers feel welcome on my blog - you may already know this, because I've brought it up before, but I'm saying it here to let you know that every time you tag me in your Jenate edits I get so happy that you're sharing something you're so passionate about with me!! I'm also a big believer of like........ making the content you want to see (a big part of why I even learnt to gif is because nobody was giffing Dan & Nate, and I was like...... that's the content I need, so if it's not already existing, I'm gonna make it happen!) so regardless of my feelings it's always so cool to see the way you conceptualise JN + their feelings re: each other, and your choice of scenes + lyrics (??? I'm not actually familiar with where you got the words for your edits, they're likely songs I haven't heard, haha) is just so interesting & good!

OH my full Jenny & Nate feelings are a lot more complicated than just comphet on Jenny's part. I feel like..... neither of them was romantically/sexually into each other? and that is kind of the appeal to me? I've always interpreted Nate's interest in Jenny during the s2 arc as sort of like - everything in his life is so unstable and undetermined, and here is Jenny who is so clear on who she is and what she wants, and he admires and respects that, and he wants to be there for her and support her, so when she kisses him he just sort of lets her take their dynamic wherever she wants to? that is very much the vibe I got. You already know how I feel about lesbian Jenny, I mean, you quoted my meta right back at me :'))

but I DO agree with you that Nate is different from the other guys to Jenny. JN have this really specific kind of honesty to them - well, when Jenny wasn't spiralling and trying to get power and acting out, and when the writers actually cared? I still think that NJ had the potential to be a SOLID dynamic but the writers made it sorta unhealthy on the show :(( - but I've spoken abt moments like in seventeen candles and the empire strikes jack before, where they're both able to be emotionally vulnerable around each other in ways we don't see them be with anyone else. I've even compared that to what I like about Derena, whom everyone knows I ship in every possible way, haha. But there's something about characters who trust each other and allow themselves to be honest with each other in ways that they wouldn't otherwise EVER be - especially with characters like Jenny & Nate who have spent so long trying to seem fine and okay even when they're really not.

I honestly really like the idea of queerplatonic Jenate - they're life partners, they're each other's rock, they're each other's person - but it's not romantic OR sexual - and for Nate & Jenny, whose adolescence has involved navigating other people sexualising them so much + not having the best track record with romantic relationships - for them, I feel being qpps gets REALLY interesting, because you get all the perks of a relationship without the romantic/sexual obligations? (obligations isn't the best word, but i don't know what else to use here? LOL) and that's something i love to explore.

I feel like book Jenny was bi! The way she gushed about Nate, whom she canonically had a crush on, and the way she gushed about Serena were EXACTLY the same. Also YES I love multiple headcanons always, it's a lot of fun seeing people explore that!!! I know people who have aroace readings of Jenny, or aro lesbian / ace lesbian readings of her, and I find that really cool, too!

I also definitely get you about relating to Jenny a lot, and feeling that kind of connection. It's similar to how I feel about Dan, and .... explains a lot of my contradicting dair views, actually. A few years ago I had a seriously intense crush on a girl who was... a lot like Blair, in many ways. I spent a ridiculous amount of time writing poetry about her, etc etc, but I never actually acted on it. If she'd fabricated schemes that involved us kissing, though..... I don't know. I don't think I would've denied it if I'd felt like I actually had a chance. I think we just had a case of bad timing, & I like to think in another universe, maybe we were actually together for a bit. I'm glad that your parents are supportive of you and better than Rufus! <3

I think that's what's so interesting about fiction, to see how we view things differently depending on how we view and relate to things based on our own experiences <- THIS exactly! this is a big part of why that "proship" is in my bio. like this is exactly what it means to me and how I conceptualise & understand it!!! Like you, I also like engaging with people who have different understandings and opinions of the characters -> it definitely helps you make new friends you would otherwise not meet by staying in your bubble, & from a fandom point of view, it also helps you develop a more nuanced understanding of a character. Some of the best written Jenny Humphrey I've read was in Jenate fics - and I've had people who don't even ship Blenny tell me they liked the way I wrote Jenny in my post canon blennyfic, so... idk. it's loving Jenny hours - each and every single iteration of Jenny!!!

#long post #edmundapologist #jenate #i would usually like . put a post of this length under a read more #but i don't know where i would insert that here? so this is how it turns out i guess #meta #also adding the #personal #tag. this feels mildly TMI but it's nothing i haven't said before in tags #this is the first time i'm Formally putting it out here though #tumblr user rainathorpe came THIS close to having an irl dair arc... hashtag so much for that #ALSO ! sometimes i tag stuff like that because like -#my blog kind of serves as a record or journal for ME #sometimes i read thru my own posts like 'so true bestie' fghgklhf #which i think is the best way to run a tumblr. be your own audience!#thank you for this ask btw - it's very sweet!! <3

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possiblyimbiassed · 4 years

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John’s “therapeutic” blog

I’ve been fascinated by the wealth of content in John Watson’s blog since I first noticed it; I think it was some time after S2. For being a complementary work to a TV show, it’s surprisingly well crafted and packed with information. Joe Lidster, who has written the fictional blogs and websites of John, Sherlock, Molly and Connie Prince, is a screenwriter who has been working also with Doctor Who and its spinoff Torchwood.

Unlike the rest of the content within the BBC Sherlock franchise, for example the online game ”Sherlock the Network”, the escape room “The Game is Now” or the book “Sherlock Chronicles”, John’s blog is fully available online for free, you don’t even have to register anywhere. And unlike the other blogs of the franchise (Molly’s and Connie Prince’s blogs and Sherlock’s website), John’s blog is lengthy and has a lot of posts in it. It gives us background and explanations of cases that aren’t mentioned in the show, or only referred to, and I also think it provides a “second opinion” of what we see in the show. It’s a bit like what John says in TLD:

It certainly seems like this blog has been created as a special little treat for the fans, since most of the casual viewers of the show probably don’t even know it exists ‘IRL’. But I think the blog is much more than that; partly because it’s so heavily referenced in the show – with frequent, accurate and exact pictures of it (at least until S4) – and partly because it tells us so much about John’s character. I think John’s blog is significant and important in trying to analyse BBC Sherlock. And maybe the version of John we see in the show will actually get more nuances to it if we look at the blog, which is expressly written by John himself?

More under the cut.

As some of you might know, I’ve written a meta series (X) where I try to explore the idea (originally from @raggedyblue) that the blog describes the ‘real’ events in John’s and Sherlock’s life more accurately than the show, and that what we see in the show up until HLV is Sherlock reminiscing their life together while reading up on the blog. In my view, the show might be Sherlock’s embellished and dramatized version of the events - ironically a bit similar to what Sherlock usually accuses John of doing in both Doyle’s canon and on the blog. But I find the blog’s writing style far more prosaic than the show, and also more prosaic than Watson’s stories in ACD canon; in BBC Sherlock the roles might have been inverted compared to canon.

An example of this would be the scene in TEH (which I talked about in this meta over a year ago) where Mary is (supposedly) reading the following un-published post directly from John’s blog editor:

“His movements were so silent. So furtive, he reminded me of a trained bloodhound picking out a scent. I couldn’t help thinking what an amazing criminal he’d make if he turned his talents against the law.”

Something doesn’t seem quite right here, though. While the rest of the post is text from another, already published, post (The Speckled Blond), this first part is taken almost verbatim from ACD’s story The Sign of Four (SIGN). It describes a crime scene where Holmes has just “whipped out his lens and a tape measure and hurried about the room on his knees, measuring, comparing, examining, with his long thin nose only a few inches from the planks and his beady eyes gleaming and deep-set like those of a bird”. I see a big style difference between this and the rest of John’s blog. Since the quote above never appears on the��‘IRL’ blog, I’d rather believe that in BBC Sherlock this is merely wishful thinking from Sherlock that happens inside his Drama Queen Mind Palace. This impressive description is, I think, what he would truly wish that John had written. ;)

I also suspect that the continuing references to different blog posts in S4 are all made up in Sherlock’s mind, since John’s blog ‘IRL’ stopped updating after TSoT, when Sherlock hacked it and took over the storytelling.

Be that as it may, this meta is a reflection upon what John Watson’s famous blog actually might stand for, and what I believe it tells us about his character. In these months of quarantine, I’ve been passing the time by reading through the whole online version of the blog and taking notes of it.

Therapeutic origin

It seems like the initiative for John to start a blog came from Ella Thompson, his therapist. I believe Ella’s initial idea was therapeutic; if it was almost impossible for John to talk to her about his feelings and inner problems in their sessions, she might have found it difficult to help him. Therefore she suggested that he write it all down on his own instead. And if Ella could persuade him to talk about his life on an online blog, she would also be able to read it.

Of course this wouldn’t be the same as if John told her about his inner reflections in confidence, in a real therapy session, but maybe the blog would give him an incentive to talk about his life at all. And you have to start somewhere.

At the end of TST we see Sherlock visit Ella, but when she asks him to “open up completely” he refuses.

If S4 is happening inside Sherlock’s head (as I believe it is), this might have been Sherlock’s way of trying to psychoanalyse John, to ‘solve John’s case’, by envisioning the therapy situation in his mind palace. A well-known method of Sherlock Holmes is that he tries to put himself in the other person’s place and think about what his own response would have been to the situation. In ACD’s story The Musgrave Ritual (MUSG), Holmes says: “You know my methods in such cases, Watson. I put myself in the man’s place, and, having first gauged his intelligence, I try to imagine how I should myself have proceeded under the same circumstances.”

Which is also evidence that the character of Sherlock Holmes does indeed not lack empathetic capacity. Also in the show, John’s assertion that Sherlock “doesn’t feel things that way” etc. is basically BS in my opinion. The problem is that John refuses to see this.

John’s state of mind before Sherlock

John’s first three blog posts (in the middle of December - January) seem to completely lack motivation.

And this is maybe what one could expect from the deeply depressed John (as he appears in the beginning of the show), isn’t it? No surprises there.

Everything seems meaningless, and John only makes two attempts at blog posts to comply with Ella’s recommendations, but he doesn’t actually write anything in them. After the second attempt his old army friend Bill Murray tries to contact him, but John seems to have cut off his ties with the rest of the world; he doesn’t answer the comment.

At the third attempt over a month later, John seems to want to delete the blog he has started, but lacks the technical knowledge to do so. The fourth attempt is just a snide comment to Ella:

She doesn’t respond, however (not very surprisingly perhaps). Instead, John’s sister Harry discovers the blog and tries out this means of communicating with him. But John ignores her.

But at the fifth attempt at least John has gone out with some friends and describes it – almost bitterly. Sadly, it also seems like John met up with them mainly to avoid his therapy session with Ella.

So, the problem is that whatever Ella may have thought that the blog would mean for John’s healing, I think she aimed well but unfortunately missed the target. John Watson does not ‘open up’ himself on the blog. When he finally starts to really write - after he met Sherlock - it’s not actually about him (supposedly); it’s all about Sherlock. Basically, John goes directly from ‘Nothing happens to me‘ to ‘Sherlock happens to me‘.

What the blog tells us about John ‘after Sherlock’

John’s blog may be all about Sherlock, but there isn’t actually that much praise for Sherlock in the blog posts as one might think. My impression is that John applies his (perhaps somewhat overestimated) writing skills to project his own failures and self-loathing on his closest friend. More than anything else, I think the blog is John’s emotional outlet for his frustration over his unsatisfactory relationship with Sherlock and his own inability to improve it. Instead of trying to actually talk to Sherlock, he uses the blog to vent his frustrations over Sherlock, speculating wildly about what he believes Sherlock is thinking and feeling.

The stories and adventures are thrilling and entertaining, yes. But his assessments of Sherlock’s character are really not very uplifting. John doesn’t strike me as an ‘analytic’ person, which in this case means that John’s theories about Sherlock are rather based on his personal emotions than logical conclusions. It’s sometimes even a bit difficult to follow the chain of events in John’s posts, because it’s usually so intertwined with his gossipy and out-of-context comments about Sherlock’s personality.

Unfortunately, Sherlock doesn’t seem to realise this projection, and neither do we see him address the issue of John’s misconceptions about him. I believe Sherlock takes many of John’s jibes and insults at him at face value, which – sadly - only adds on to his own self-loathing. I also think that Sherlock trying to draw conclusions about his mysterious friend through the written blog might be a mistake; it may eventually tell him a lot about John’s problems, but to see these he needs to look behind all the cover-up of blatant criticism of him, Sherlock. Maybe that’s what Sherlock’s trying to do in S4, by setting up scenarios in his mind palace?

Judging by how John comes across on the blog – and in the show – I think Sherlock’s claim “You’re abnormally drawn to dangerous people and places” in HLV is a perfectly sound analysis - on the surface. However, I think one must read between the blog lines in order to see other possible motives for John wanting to hang out with Sherlock. Reading John’s posts textually, he gives a strong impression that he’s there for the adventures; when there is danger in the air, John’s never bored.

In the comment section Sherlock never mentions John’s evaluation of his character. Instead he repeatedly criticises John’s writing style. I get the impression that this is Sherlock’s subtle way of getting back at John without having to directly address John’s misconceptions about him. As I said above, I think John’s writing style is very different from Watson’s style in canon; far less respect for Sherlock and a far more prosaic and simple language. Canons Watson seems careful not to speculate much, while John does this all the time.

Examples that form a pattern

There’s a good deal of praise of Sherlock in John’s posts, but it has almost exclusively to do with his admiration for Sherlock’s intellectual capacity; he’s repeatedly described as ‘clever’ and after the Fall, John claims that “nobody ever really outwitted Sherlock”. But in fact, I’ve found very few blog posts where John doesn’t also criticise or complain about Sherlock in some way or another. And there are only two posts (out of a total of 45) where John says something positive about Sherlock’s character:

1. After their first meeting he calls Sherlock “strangely likeable” and “charming”.

2. In what John meant to be his last post ever (he believed Sherlock was dead), he calls Sherlock “funny”, “charming” and “everything a good person should be”.

On the other hand, there seems to be nothing in John’s own (supposed) opinions about Sherlock that he regards as too negative or inappropriate to publish online. I very much think this is about self-loathing; he projects his own shortcomings on his “psychopath” friend and flatmate. Like it’s always a relief to have a scapegoat. An additional explanation might be that if John is closeted and in public denial about any romantic feelings for Sherlock, this makes him not want to appear too ‘besotted’ on the blog. ;) Thus, he might believe he needs to compensate the praise with criticism. Problem is, with this contradictory approach the readers might ask: What is John’s actual relationship to Sherlock? Handler? Hostage? Lover? Concerned citizen? It’s hard to claim he’s a ‘real’, professional colleague, since John’s actual profession is a medical doctor. But why would John be friends with a psychopath?

To seriously claim that his best friend is a psychopath seems perfectly OK to John, though – he does it repeatedly, and quotes Donovan’s claim that Sherlock “gets off on it”. At the end of A Study in Pink, John talks about Sherlock and the serial killer as if they were both psychopaths, one undistinguishable from the other:

“The taxi driver drove him to a college of further education so they could both educate each other on - well, on how their minds worked, I guess. It's not something I'll ever really understand and, to be honest, I'm not sure I ever want to understand it. To be that much of a psychopath. To be that above the rest of us.”

John even seems to pretend to prefer ignorance to understanding, only to find one more opportunity to blame Sherlock. Here are some examples of other things John calls Sherlock publicly on the Internet:

Arrogant

Rude

Imperious

Pompous

Madman

Freak

Childish and

Not safe.

He also says on the blog that Sherlock is spectacularly ignorant about some things, like the solar system.

Little Freudian slips

In the post titled The Speckled Blonde

(which is basically a re-count of canon’s The Speckled Band - SPEC) John’s closet angst reaches new heights:

Apparently John finds it important to preventively point out to his readers that he was not sharing a bed with Sherlock. Or, actually, that he even preferred sleeping on the floor before sharing a bed with his flatmate. The thing is, however, that the information that they spent the night in Julias bedroom isn’t at all necessary for the story, since - unlike in ACD Canon - nothing of importance apparently happened during that night. John actually tells us nothing about the night as such. The only ‘feature of interest’ is that Sherlock found a suspect bottle of bubble bath on the victim’s night table, which he took to Barts for analysis (and he was right - the bath had killed Julia by poisoning). Obviously, John could have described this crime scene investigation entirely without mentioning that they had spent the night there. So, if this little morsel of information was so embarrassing for him, why did he even include it? Hmm...

In my biased mind, I can only think of two alternative explanations (not mutually exclusive, though): 1. John had spent so much fantasies and subconscious energy on reliving this night that he just couldn’t keep this info entirely to himself (Freudian slip), or 2. Something actually happened that night - something that had no bearing on the case. After all, John never says that he slept on the floor, only that he was going to sleep on it. ;)

Speaking of bubble bath, I find the fact that Julia died from it slightly suggestive, and even metaphorical, as such. Because there’s also another case on John’s blog describing someone dying in a bath: The Deadly Tealights. The victim suffocated in a bathroom where the candles consumed all the oxygen. John has included this little comment:

Why does John bring up the idea that a person taking a bath with candles would potentially be judged? What has his own bath routines to do with the crime case? Does the victim really need John to find excuses for his private life? Methinks this rather might be John’s closet angst speaking again. Someone has tried to belittle John for liking baths, and apparently John seizes the opportunity to vent about it on the blog. Metaphorically, this tells me that the closet is suffocating for John, and that the ‘chemistry of love’ is involved.

John - The Moral Compass

John is often referred to as the part of the duo who a) is more sociable and b) works like a sort of moral guide to Sherlock. The detective, on the other hand, is shown as a “sociopath” who supposedly doesn’t understand this kind of things. And – to be honest – Sherlock doesn’t actively say much to contradict this perception; sometimes he even appears to agree with it.

(I think his actions should be a clue to the contrary, though).

According to the blog, John seems to believe he himself is the adult one in this acquaintance, the one who does understand the rules of society. He repeatedly calls Sherlock “childish”. Judging by John’s descriptions in the blog, one might almost think that John had been forced to hang out with Sherlock, trying to do the best of it. But seeing as it’s entirely voluntarily it’s a bit hard to understand, for example, how John can blame Sherlock for “leaving me and Sarah to be kidnapped” in The Blind Banker:

John makes is sound like Sherlock left them to the enemy deliberately, knowing that someone would come after them. But weren’t they at home, supposedly on a date? If John didn’t like it, couldn’t he have left any moment and gone out to continue the date he was supposed to? But no; John counts himself among the innocent persons whom Sherlock “involves in his adventures”:

After reading the whole of John’s blog, all I can say is that this guy is a living, breathing contradiction. How can he be Sherlock’s moral compass if his needle is spinning all the time? :))

In The Great Game John describes himself as just a “pawn” in Sherlock’s and the killer’s great game, equalling himself with the other victims. With his insinuations, he indirectly blames Sherlock for the death of 12 people and goes back to Sally Donovan’s “freak” accusations:

Another interesting bit is this, describing Sherlock’s reaction at the pool, when John for a moment appeared to be behind everything: “I should have been horrified that he'd even doubt me for a second…” Wait – what!? John is capable of telling the whole world the most damning rubbish about his friend, but if Sherlock for any second doubted John, he’d be horrified? This part is also of interest: “But the laser sight simply moved to Sherlock's head and I was forced to let go. For a second, I wondered if Sherlock would have done the same for me but then all I knew for certain was, at that moment, I knew I was going to die.”

Before that, John had just described what could easily be interpreted as Sherlock calmly trying to talk Moriarty out of having John killed, but to John this was just “The two men talked, both clearly pleased to…”. In John’s view, he was the only one who was forced to let go of the killer because of the threat to Sherlock. Honestly, who is it, between the two of them, that most appears to lack empathetic capacity?

Creds and Competence

John appears to be a rather honest, humble and straightforward in the show, quite competent in his medical profession, and in TSoT he is highly praised by Sherlock:

But on the blog John is more ambiguous, and he isn’t always modest. Sometimes he appears to enhance his own role in the crime solving and take credit also for things that are clearly Sherlock’s doing. For example, in The Great Game there’s this:

“Between us, we worked out that while Connie's death had been made to look like the result of a tetanus infection, it had actually been caused by poison - their houseboy, â–“â–“â–“â–“â–“, had overdosed her on Botox!”

But if we’re supposed to believe the show, John actually believed it was a tetanus infection, while Sherlock deduced and later demonstrated poison:

John also expresses a slightly childish vindictiveness in making a lot of fuss about Sherlock’s failures; every single time Sherlock can’t solve a case, John points it out on the blog with glee. It almost gives me the impression that the doctor is suffering from inferiority complex. He even uses “Sherlock Holmes Baffled“ as a title for one of their cases.

This seems to be written in jest, since Sherlock frequently is rude about other people’s lower intellectual capacity, but actually hates ‘not knowing’.

I admit that this may be funny to joke about once, but it gets a little tiresome that John has to point it out every time. Why does John even do this, even as Sherlock has explicitly asked him to not publish the unsolved cases? Which I assume would not be good for their business?

If John truly is Sherlock’s colleague, wouldn’t he also be more interested in helping to solve the cases, rather than talk about the failures? It seems to me that John is struggling so hard against his own feelings for Sherlock that he feels the need to provoke rather than help him.

The Most Inhuman Human

Sherlock’s supposed lack of humanity is a recurring theme for John; he claims that “people” want to know that Sherlock is human, as if anyone - on the blog or in the show - except John had ever questioned this.

I can’t remember anyone on the blog except John showing an interest in this issue, though. In the post Many Happy Returns he writes this (my bolding):

“Yet the video... it showed the other side to him. He was rude, yeah. Arrogant. Apparently lacking in anything resembling empathy. But I'd forgotten just how funny he could be. He was so charming. So... human. It's bizarre because most people would say he was the most inhuman person they'd ever met. But he wasn't.”

He wasn’t? Wow - great revelation, John! [sarcasm :)]. But who said that, actually? Not even the haters and trolls on John’s blog ever claimed Sherlock was inhuman. It’s one thing that Donovan and Anderson called him a freak and a psychopath, but John is the only character I can think of who has ever implied that Sherlock would not be a human being. Only John calls him a ‘machine’. Which is a load of BS of course; John really doesn’t strike me as a professional doctor when he says this, even less as a friend - always trying to mark the distance.

So what’s Sherlock’s ‘complete lack of empathy’ in that video actually about (mini-episode here)? Was it because he didn’t want to go to a birthday dinner with people? Hardly - John seems to understand this about Sherlock. Or was it maybe because of his comment: “How can John be having a birthday dinner? All his friends hate him!” Well, this probably hurt a bit (even if I rather think he sounds bitter and jealous - he wants John for himself ;) ). On the other hand, Sherlock then backtracks and seems to regret his little outburst:

Mary’s role in John’s life

The blog is where Mary Morstan appears to be introduced to John; on John’s first blog post about at least a year after Sherlock’s ‘death’, she suddenly just shows up in the comment section, sending him kisses and inviting him out:

John ignores her, though, and when his sister asks him who Mary is, he doesn’t answer. Mary seems to hang in there, however, and the next time she appears is on the Deadly Tealights post (the one with the dead flatmate in the suffocating closet bathroom). And now she’s called Mary Morstan. Next time is The Inexplicable Matchbox. Both times her only comment is ‘ignore the trolls’. John rather seems to ignore her, though. Finally, he finishes his Many Happy Returns post (which was supposed to be his last) with saying that he has now “found someone” (without naming them) and should concentrate on that.

All this is a little bit weird, though, considering Mary’s comment in TEH, when she is logged in and reading aloud from the editor of John’s blog: “The famous blog, finally!” As if she hadn’t already read all his posts and tried to interact with him on the blog? Hmm.

In the show Mary just seems to come from out of nowhere, suddenly showing up in the graveyard holding hands with John.

Her anonymity reminds me of Doyle’s treatment of Mary in canon, where she’s only mentioned by name when she’s still a client, before she marries Watson.

On the blog Mary is not mentioned by name until over a year after John met her, in spite of her presence in the comment section long before that. And it’s not until John’s first post after Sherlock’s return - The Empty Hearse - that John says something appreciative of her. Suddenly she is (still without name) "...the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sorry, Sherlock :)”. For the rest of the blog posts, John’s (very scarce) answers to Mary’s comments are never flirty or appreciative in the least. Mary’s own last comment, on the very last post - this time written by Sherlock who hacked the blog after John’s and Mary’s wedding - is this: “SHERLOCK! SHUT UP NOW!”

None of this gives me the impression that John has fallen in love with Mary. The silence with which he treats Mary on the blog rather makes me think of her as someone basically not very important; a sort of substitute in a desperate attempt to fill an emptiness in his life. And I think it might be significant that as soon as John recognises the existence of Mary in his life, he seems to use her as a sort of buffer towards Sherlock. A façade. First it’s the gleeful “Sorry Sherlock :)” comment above. Vindictive, it appears. And then, in the post Happily Ever After, John insists that his and Mary’s impending (heterosexual) marriage must clearly be the reason why Sherlock chose to help a gay couple getting together, one of them leaving an abusive marriage which was basically a façade. This whole ‘conclusion’ is so stupid that I’m rendered speechless.

Summary

To summarise - for those of you with enough patience to have followed all my ramblings in this marathon meta - I think the picture of John’s character that we can discern from reading up on the whole of his blog possibly tells us even more about him than the show. If the show reflects Sherlock’s mind, albeit almost entirely focused on his own perception of John Watson, this blog might actually give more insight into how John’s own mind works. I think it shows us someone who is struggling desperately with his own feelings. Someone who is trying to mark a distance that he believes is healthy for him, but that he actually doesn’t want, towards the object of his affection, by criticising them. The full-fledged, living, breathing contradiction that is John Watson comes to its full right by the blog. We could almost say he’s ‘human’ :). Kudos to Joe Lidster and the other showmakers for providing us with this gem.

Tagging some people who might be interested: @raggedyblue @ebaeschnbliah @gosherlocked @sagestreet @sarahthecoat @tjlcisthenewsexy @elldotsee @88thparallel @sherlock-overflow-error @yeah-oh-shit

#John's blog is important #John's blogging is his therapy

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e-bacellar · 3 years

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(my axotar blog is @thebestfoxyboylucien) I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate how ardently and genuinely you care for and defend Lucien and do not instantly jump down Nesta's throat. Thank u💕

Ooow, thank you for always defending Lucien (my love) and Nesta, I follow you on this account (@thebestfoxyboylucien) and love what you post.

I actually love Nesta, always have, I find the hate people have for her a bit exaggerated. I understand those who don't like her since we read most of the books with Feyre's pov, but they are fictional characters, some people take it too seriously and hurt real people in the process.

I understand Nesta's character and her pov because I identify with her, for many times I was Nesta, now I do therapy and I am improving in the points where I think I need to improve, but it was a long way until I understood that I needed help and that just myself was not enough.

I stay away from the fandom mainly in relation to Nesta because some judgments hurt me, as I said I have been Nesta in several moments and just like her I did not react to certain actions as people expected or I said things without thinking to people and then I saw what I had said, not because I wanted to but because I was sick and unfortunately when we are like this we only find judgments, rejection and many people trying to shame you for being that way.

Just like her, I felt inadequate. Unworthy of receiving love, unworthy of having someone who loves me or knows me by my side, I built several barriers and kept myself distant, not because I didn't like people but because I didn't want to hurt myself any more than I was already hurt. Just like her I self-punished myself, thought about killing myself and isolated myself as much as I could.

I believe that we only don't judge so much when we go through similar situations and unfortunately the fandom with this hate can be hurting people who just like me have the same problems as her and are here to escape their feelings/reality.

If someone from the fandom has the same reactions as Nesta or identifies with her you are not a bad person, you are not a monster! If you are going through some problem or identified that you react in some way due to a trauma find help, do it for you, we all deserve to be happy, we all have the right to love and be loved. Know that you are not alone and if you need someone to talk to I am here.

"For every Nesta out there - climb the mountain" - SJMaas

#Nesta Archeron #Nestha Archeron #Nesta #Nestha #acosf #a court of silver flames #sjmaas #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acotar thoughts #acosf thoughts #ask #axbxlx

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forbidding-souda · 3 years

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About Mod Souda

You guys should talk to me in the ask box more smh you guys are fun

Like just tell me about your day but I won’t guarantee that like 1000% I’ll respond but I’ll read them all.... efkjlwdbsc or or ask me questions or something idk I like talking

1500 followers face reveal when (shocked emoji) /srs

Anyways here’s some things about me because I never really introduced myself (since this is my account and why would I do an introduction)

THIS IS LITERALLY MY LIFE STORY GOODBYE BAHSBAH

-Mod Souda

Hi I am Mod Souda and I go by he/him ofc ofc I am a gay man.

Uhh I am an a native amercan mixed kid AND an Aquarius ugh I’m so unique right. I was raised by a raver and a metalhead skater in Vegas. I’ve been in the pit since I was 4 years old (specifically at a Primus concert LMAO).

The first fandom I was in was Creepypasta, and I was about 8 years old. It’s funny because the first musician I ever actively liked was Madame Macabre.

As a child (like 7-11) I mainly listened to Vocaloid, Madame Macabre, and Nicki Minaj.

When Avengers came out I was still in elementary school. And .. Loki... wrjhfbwejdhb bro!! gay awakening!! holy shit. I was in love with him but I didn’t want to admit it smh shhh.

The first anime I ever watched was Black Butler. I was IN LOVE with Joker from Book of Circus ehbwdjqshdfb. The last episode of that season ended the day I moved to California. I remember crying bc of the last scene inside of the moving truck.

I also got into Fairy Tail a lot. Also tragic. I had the hugest crush on Gajeel Redfox mmmmmemdwkgsnekfdjsglkvcx

I live in the Bay Area, and grew up in the same house, compared to living in Vegas where I moved every two years. There are ... so many poc here ... and in vegas I was in a class with all white people. Being around so many poc was so like ?? fun ?? idk how to describe it but it feels like how life should feel like; not stressful at all.

I started listening to goth music when I was 12 because I was in the Mr. Creepypasta amino and somebody was like “you guys should join the goth amino” and I was like oh that sounds so fun !!! Boom... goth Mod Souda arrived.

I was all about Sopor Aeternus and Switchblade Symphony.

I discovered my lifelong favorite artist in like 2016. It was because I was making playlist for my Fairy Tail oc (tragic) and I added this song I got off of a “Creepypasta Theme Songs” and it was Bernadette by IAMX (which was assigned to Laughing Jack). And I listened to the song and was like meh this is cool. Then one day I played the playlist and it just.... hit different. LMAO I was like waiitittttititit. The next day, on the way to the airport, I downloaded all 7 (at the time) of his albums and listened to them the whole way. I’ve seen him live too like mm chris corner I love you.

I got into DR in 2015 because of an edit of (anime) Syo and Junko to Pound the Alarm LOL. I was like “this looks cool” so I watched it on my phone while sitting on the couch all in one go. Spoilers but I cried the most when mondo and sakura died, fun fact. Life went down from there smh!!

I really believed that I was dating Gundham Tanaka. Like everything in my life was Gundham Tanaka related like I was ... obsessed with him. And I coudln’t see art of him and sonia because it would make me have a breakdown bc I thought he was cheating on me PLZ BHDSABHJBAHAAHHA it’s funny because I kin sonia now and I’m in love with her.

This was the same year where I ???? got bruises on my eardrums somehow (I asked my dad recently how I got them and he went uhh idk) ???? and I couldn’t hear anything for like three years plz. My hearing has gotten better but idk if my ear percentage is 100%/100% or if I’m just grateful it isn’t what it is before LMAO so that’s when I started learning ASL.

This is also the same year where I got hospitalized for being a neurodevelopmental schizophrenic lol OOPS !

A funny story of me growing up with danganronpa is uhh when future arc was still airing ,,, Spoilers,, and the episode with Juzo passing aired,, I literally printed the frame of him talking to himself confessing his love and BROUGHT IT TO SCHOOL. I LIT A CANDLE FOR HIM TOO LIKE BYE

Freshman year of highschool I started dating an emo kid who brought his electric guitar to school. TRAGIC. We dated for like two years please what.

Sophomore year I started getting into metal and punk. This is mainly because I went to a Slayer concert. I was trying to branch out of my goth bubble and !!! metal really stuck with me. My favorite subgenre is goregrind. It’s mmm so good. Punk... was a miss. I absolutely hate punks. If anyone in the alternative community is reading this right now I’ll tell you this: the punks that I interacted with to learn more about the community were from OC .... goodbye

I still listen to Glass Street tho ^ they are hc/crossover and I really like their music omg I have their merch now plz HBSAJKH and I still like the patch pants / crusties I made so that’s cool. A lot of kids look up / glamorize me just because of my fashion but at least they give me clout ig ...

The year after that I downloaded Spotify for the first time. I was an apple music/youtube person (tragic). Uhh what else omg. I finally figured out that I was neurodevelopmental and that it affected my way of thinking and that ,, it wasn’t JUST because I am sch so that was an awakening.

Anyways now trying to get a minor in asl interpreting mmmm and trying to get a job SMH !! why is it so hard. I’m into DND now oo that’s new and I’m collecting the dice.

I started this blog in July 2020 when I was staying with my friend in a tent in New York for a couple of months. I forced her to watch despair arc (LOL) and now she’s a junko cosplayer so B^)

Metalhead anon and everyone else who’s been here for a long ass time make me SOOO happy like woah.. it’s been so long omg. I used to post fics three times a day like wtf the EFFORT (that was before school started lol oops my bad)

Since then I’ve got a boyfriend and a whole wave of danganronpa cosplayers who are my friends now. It’s really cool to talk to so many young people (sometimes) who are hella into like,, open conversations about gender and politics and whatnot. I’m used to talking to 20 year old goth people you know?

Whenever I do something “cringey” (like if I want to do dr character impersonations or if I want to rant about how much I love this anime character or if I want to try out neopronouns) I’m like hmmmm I can go to the danganronpa cosplayers and I know they won’t judge me for this.

Anyways that’s it. It’s 22:50 where I am right now aaaanndd I go on this blog way more than I should LOL

#mod Souda

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lacetulle · 4 years

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Hey there! Aspiring fashion designer here! I'm getting more and more into fashion and designing/ planning more and more outfits and I was wondering if you have any tips to get more into haute contour and fashion in general. Your blog has really helped me get a grasp of what I like and I all around love it!

I’m happy this blog could help in figuring out what styles you like! There are a ton of different mediums to get into fashion! I’ve compiled a list of options via videos, websites, and books. So strap in, this is a long post.

Since you already have an idea of who you like, I always suggest reading up on that brand/label/designer and going through their archives. For me, when I realized how much I loved Dior and knew I wanted to learn more, it was overwhelming at times because the label has such a long history. If you really like newer labels, like Zuhair Murad, Elie Saab, Iris van Herpen, etc., it’s a little more manageable to read up on the history and designers just because they were founded in the ‘90s/‘00s.

In terms of websites, I have a few to talk about.

Vogue. This is the easiest avenue to get into fashion. I’m not knocking it, because I use it the most for photos, but as far as websites go, it’s the most dumbed-down. But I mean that in the best way! The features, trend reports, and runway news appeals to even the most casual fashion fan. Vogue focuses mainly on big name/commercialized brands (Dior, Valentino, Gucci, etc.) rather than smaller ones (like Guo Pei and Ralph & Russo, two big couture names these days, get minimal coverage with Vogue). Vogue is a great resource for runway looks...it was my gateway into studying older runway collections. All in all, in terms of websites, Vogue is the tip of the fashion media iceberg. If you want to get into the more meatier parts of fashion, there are better sites.

Harper’s Bazaar. Like Vogue, it’s easy to navigate and leans more towards the more well-known fashion brands. Pre-covid, they always had a weekly street style recap as well. They have great lists but stay away from the business side of fashion. I typically use Harper’s Bazaar for the street style/every day fashion inspiration and news.

Who What Wear. A great site for following trends. They don’t focus so much on brands, but it’s a great resource for seeing what’s trending and options to buy said trends. For example, Who What Wear is the first place I went when I wanted to find a list of brands who were starting to sell masks.

WWD. Supposedly most designers prefer WWD to Vogue coverage. And it shows, since parts of the site require a subscription. WWD is one of the more technical sites and could be overwhelming for someone who doesn’t really understand the industry. They talk about the comings-and-goings of creative directors, financial news, and general fashion trends/news. It also has runway recaps and photos, which is typically what I use it for. If you’re really want to be in the know with breaking fashion news, they do offer email newsletters as well for a more condensed version of the site. Also, a super helpful page I’ve had bookmarked, their fashion dictionary.

Business of Fashion. The name is pretty self-explanatory. BoF is another one of those meatier sites that could be overwhelming at first. It’s also one that has a subscription service. BoF has great profiles of designers, so I’ve used the site as my starting point when learning about someone new. The BoF500 also showcases anyone and everyone who has a hand in shaping the industry.

The Impression. The cheapest of the subscription sites and the one I had until I cancelled a few months ago (not because it sucked, but, you know…corona). I mainly used them for their runway pictures. They were so fast to upload them, with details and backstage footage. The big draw is the fashion week/runway photography, but the talk about street style, short films and ads from brands, as well as fashion trends. At the end of every fashion week (New York, Milan, Paris, etc.) the put together a recap list of biggest trends, top shows, top models, and break down the numbers. I love the site for its minimalism and whenever the industry decides to have fashion weeks again, I’ll renew my subscription.

Magazines: Most people would say Vogue is the holy grail for fashion magazines, but I don’t think it’s that great (at least the US version). Vogue Paris, Italia, and UK are better in my opinion. And just because I don’t think the print version of US Vogue is the holy grail, doesn’t mean I don’t like it. I have a subscription and read it every month. Other options I really like are Harper’s Bazaar (any country’s version), Elle, InStyle, and W.

Videos: Other than the first one listed (which can be found on Netflix or Hulu, depending where you live), everything can be found on youtube. And now i’m constantly getting fashion recommendations on youtube, so it’s an easy rabbit hole to fall into.

First Monday in May. I’ve talked about this documentary before, but it bears repeating. It’s a gorgeous journey of how the Met Gala and Costume Institute Exhibit was put together. It’s about the ‘China: Through the Looking Glass’ exhibit in 2015. They interview big designers about how China has influenced some of their collections, and takes on the debate of whether fashion should even be in a museum. It was the first fashion documentary I ever watched and only made me fall more in love with fashion (and want to see every fashion exhibition).

The September Issue. Vogue’s September issues are always the biggest of the year. This documentary follows the process of designing the famous September issue of Vogue. I believe it was filmed in 2007 or 2008 so it’s dated, and digital media has changed the game, but it’s a good watch to see just how influential and important the September issue is in terms of forecasting fashion trends for the following year.

Savoir Faire: Christian Dior Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2011. A 50 minute video on how one, just one, piece from the couture collection was designed. It’s a great insight on just how much work goes in to creating a couture collection.

7 Days Out with Karl Lagerfeld. Another great showcase of the week leading up to a couture show, this time with Chanel. The documentary follows the 2018 show, which is one of Lagerfeld’s last few couture shows before his death.

Battle At Versailles: The Competition that Shook the Fashion Industry. It’s no secret that Paris is the epicenter of fashion. The couture houses are all based there, so France is typically where you needed to be to be a world renowned designer. In 1973 French and American designers competed against each other and brought American designers into the spotlight. There’s an hour long documentary on youtube and there’s a book that I’ve linked below. I’ve seen the video and I’m currently reading the book, so you have options here.

Christian Dior: Designer of Dreams. A good look at the Musée des Arts Décoratifs exhibit for the 70th anniversary of Dior. This documentary gives a nice, condensed look at each of the artistic directors of Dior and showcases some of the most iconic Dior looks. I knew about it, but didn’t go see it. I only saw pictures, which were beautiful…but to see it all come together on video was a dream. They talk to Celine Dion for a minute at the end, and her words sum up my feelings best about Dior, “I would love to wear one of these dresses one day, maybe in one of my lifetimes, or every night in my dreams.”

Books:

Inside Haute Couture: Behinds the Scenes at the Paris Ateliers. A gorgeous book with tons of photos about the intricacies that go in to a couture collection.

Kate Spade New York: All in Good Taste. I originally bought it for my coffee table collection, but it has some great style tips.

The Battle of Versailles: The Night American Fashion Stumbled into the Spotlight and Made History. Just in case you’d rather read about this legendary fashion show than watch. I’m currently reading it, so I can’t give you my final take on it. But I’m loving it so far.

Dior by Dior: Christian Dior’s autobiography. Who better to tell you about the history of Christian Dior, than Dior himself.

Elsa Schiaparelli: A Biography. I’m a big fan of Schiaparelli and would love for her legacy to be more widely known. She was a very private person, so when this biography dropped I was excited to read more about her. Elsa Schiaparelli was Coco Chanel’s biggest rival and was a household name in her time, but most people know Coco’s name over Elsa’s today. This is a nice dive into Schiaparelli’s life, since most people focus on Chanel’s legacy (and let’s be honest, Chanel is very idolized, which is so unfortunate, given her Nazi ties, but I digress.)

Gods and Kings: The Rise and Fall of Alexander McQueen and John Galliano. I tend to rave about the designs by these two, so it’s a good look into their journey in fashion.

The Beautiful Fall: Fashion, Genuis, and Glorious Excess in 1970s Paris. If you’re interested in Lagerfeld (pre-Chanel days) or Yves Saint Laurent, it’s a great retrospective look at their rivalry.

Champagne Supernovas. If ‘90s fashion is something of interest, this book is a great read on how some big name rebels (McQueen, Marc Jacobs, Kate Moss, etc.) in the industry remade fashion as we know it.

Any of the Met Gala books: Camp: Notes on Fashion, Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty, Manus x Machina, Heavenly Bodies, etc. My first one was the McQueen book, and at the time I didn’t know it was the official book from the Costume Institute Exhibit. They’re not all hardcover coffee table-esque books, but if you can’t attend an exhibit it’s the next best thing. They’re all great in-depth resources for learning about a certain area of fashion. They can be expensive, so I wouldn’t suggest investing in them unless you’re truly interested in that specific aspect of the industry. This year’s exhibit - whenever it opens - is About Time: Fashion and Duration. The exhibition book is already available and I think it’ll be an incredible exhibit of how current designers pull from older designers and trends.

The Fashion Book. It’s expensive. It’s massive. And it gives you a wealth of information. It’s essentially an encyclopedia for fashion. It’s not just designers; it highlights models, high profile photographers, style icons, and all those who influenced fashion.

I know this was long, but these have been the resources I’ve used over the years. I hope this can help you along your journey and if anyone has other things to add, please do!

#ask me anything

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mulletcal · 4 years

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if my heart had a voice - a (bi/aro) calum hood blurb.

a/n: okay so i’ve had this idea in my brain for so, so long and i had hesitated a lot writing it but i’d like to give a special thank you to: @frontmanash, @softbabiestan, @sexgodashton, @goth5sos, and @irwinkitten for giving me motivation and being so sweet while i wrote this, i appreciate all of you so, so much you have no idea.

this is my first time writing something like this, so i hope you enjoy. it’s a genderless reader insert!

word count: 2.6k

warnings: struggles with romantic orientation, mentions of smut but no actual smut.

---

Friends with benefits - it’s something that sounds easy in theory, but movies and TV shows would lead you to believe otherwise. Complicated was a word that was often associated with it as well, stating that no two people could simply have sex, that feelings would always end up involved.

That wasn’t the case for Calum, well, not really. He had met you, and the two of you hit it off right away. You talked into all hours of the night until the sun came up about anything and everything; he felt heard, he felt appreciated, he realistically felt what most people would deem as a crush, or romantic attraction. Calum couldn’t bring himself to call it that though, because that’s not how it seemed to him. It felt natural when the two of you fell into bed together, a tangle of limbs and breathy moans, but he never was drawn to the idea of asking you to be his partner. You never seemed to mind either, which Calum was grateful for; he had so many questions that constantly circulated through his mind, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for a conversation about why he didn’t want more with you.

Calum’s racing thoughts seemed to never cease, a constant question of why didn’t he want more with you; or simply why he never wanted more with anyone. His last relationship ended because what he thought was love turned out to be nothing more than just a physical attraction, lips never parted long enough to sort out emotions before it was too late. Love had been uttered in a fruitless attempt to keep her around long enough to hopefully truly feel something, but it never worked.

Another Saturday night rolled around, and the two of you had started a movie you never saw the end of, too distracted with exploring each others’ bodies. Seeing you lie next to him, chest heaving with a small smile on your face brought a smile to his own lips, admiring you basking in the glow from the TV screen. Calum often wondered what you were like around your other friends, if you made them laugh as hard as he did, or would also text them in the middle of the night with a random thought or meme. Panic crept up on him at the thought, suddenly fully aware that he could be caught up in some sort of TV trope - did you have romantic feelings for him? Was there a possibility of losing you forever if he didn’t reciprocate the feelings?

His mind couldn’t settle that night, tossing and turning, mind racing at the thought of losing you. Would he lose you? Banished to a new level of weird and uncomfortable - running into someone in public who you know has seen you naked, or even more seen your face when you’re about to fall over the edge.

Morning came much too soon, and Calum sighed, glancing over to you as the sun came streaming in through the curtains and casting you in some sort of ethereal glow. Maybe if he went to make some breakfast rather than staring at you it could help to clear his head. It wasn’t often that you decided to stay for breakfast, but he hoped that sharing a warm meal together would encourage him or sway him one way or the other - to talk to you, or maybe feel something more romantic towards you.

Stretching as you came into the kitchen, you smiled at the sight of Calum there flipping pancakes, “Eating for two, are you? Calum, is there something you’re not telling me?” You faked a gasp, laughing lightly. He swatted at you with the spatula, just barely missing you.

Calum knew you could sense something off with him, just by the way you carried yourself about the kitchen, taking a seat at the island. Your movements were gentle, calculated, as if one small thing could set him off - not that had ever happened, but you were walking on eggshells and he knew he needed to say something.

The two of you ate in silence for the first few minutes, Calum glancing up at you to make sure that you were enjoying the food alright.

“Can I ask you something?” Calum had stopped eating, a serious expression on his face, causing you to put your fork down.

“I was going to pull the old ‘you just did’ bit but it doesn’t seem like the time for that,” you chuckled, tucking your chair in so you could lean your chin on your hand. “What’s up?”

“What’s wrong with me?” He asked, worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

You furrowed your brow, slightly confused, “I’m not following.”

“Like… I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I broke up with my last girlfriend because while I felt a connection and we got along great, the… romance just wasn’t there? I’ve gone on dates, and there’s nothing. I thought it was just that I was going on shitty dates, but then I met you - you have all the qualities I could want in a partner, and clearly I’m attracted to you; but I don’t find myself wanting to be involved… romantically?” Calum was playing with his fingers, not meeting your eyes. “I hope that doesn’t hurt you.”

You laughed lightly, reaching across to take his hand in your own to stop the wringing of his hands, “Calum I’m not offended, not in the slightest. What we have going on is good, but I understand if you want to stop that too.”

“I don’t-” He said quickly, laughing as he scratched the back of his head. “I feel like it sounds like such a stereotypical dude thing to say that I’m cool with continuing to have sex with no emotional attachment. Not that I don’t feel anything towards you, I just-”

“Calum, I get it,” You grinned. “I hope you know I wasn’t here looking for love, yeah? Me and you get on great, and the sex is great. But if I wanted a boyfriend, I would have told you from the start, I promise.” Your reassuring words had Calum letting out a breath he wasn’t aware that he was holding, squeezing your hand that was still in his.

“I just feel like I’m… Cold, I guess? For not wanting more?”

“Love, you’re the least cold person I know. You’re so genuine and kind, and you have so much love for your friends and family. You’re so cuddly, always down to hold hands, or just hold someone if they need to be held. It’d be different if you didn’t show you care, but you do in the ways that matter.”

Your answer seemed to be good enough for Calum, because he went back to eating with a small smile on his lips.

It helped to ease Calum’s worry that he was going to lose you because of how he felt, but the lingering question in the back of his head ate away at him of why he felt the way he did; also, why it was just bothering him now. So, when you left, he did what any millennial would think to do: he Googled it.

He wasn’t sure what to search for at first - it wasn’t something like an ache or pain in his body where you could look up ‘shoulder pain’ and find out you only had 4 days to live. It seemed much more complicated, to put into words how he felt; but he ended up settling on ‘lack of romantic attraction’, and he was shocked to find that it was, indeed, a thing. Calum had learned within minutes of his Google search that this wasn’t just a ‘one or the other’ kind of thing, but that there was a whole variety of people. It made his chest warm to read blog posts of people coming to terms with their romantic orientation, seeing how many had struggles similar to his own. The term ‘Aromantic’ seemed the most fitting to him, and he liked the idea that maybe one day romance could happen, but if it never did he wasn’t weird for wanting the physical only.

It was a few after Calum had come to his realization about his orientation overall, and he found himself as he usually did - in his backyard with Ashton, a couple cups of coffee deep while they both scribbled into their songwriting notebooks. He knew that none of his friends would judge him, they may be a little confused because no one in their group had “different” romantic orientations - they simply assumed they’d end up with a partner one way or another.

Ashton had been in the middle of a thought when Calum interrupted, “Hey Ash?”

Ashton furrowed his brows, eyes lifting from the page to look at his friend, “Yeah?”

“You ever heard of the term ‘aromantic’?”

“I don’t believe so, why?” Ashton placed his pen inside his book, closing it to give Calum his full attention.

“I’ve been kinda struggling a lot lately, doin’ a lot of self reflection and all that,” He started, letting out a heavy breath before he continued, “It seems like a term that really resonates with me.”

Calum couldn’t really read the expression on Ashton’s face, instead being met with the man’s furrowed brow and fingers lightly drumming on the cool metal of the table.

“What does it mean?” Ashton was now leaning on his elbows, more engaged in the conversation.

“In like… Simpler terms, it mainly just means lack of romantic attraction.” Ashton’s face read a little confused, but Calum carried on anyway, “I’ve learnt in the last few days that there’s a difference in sexual orientation and romantic orientation. With my last girlfriend, I thought I loved her, but it was more about the sex than anything. I d’know if it really sums me up, but you know my whole friends with benefits scenario. I thought it would make sense for me to fall in love with them.”

“But you haven’t? Fallen in love with them, I mean.”

“No, which is what led me to this point to begin with. If I were to make a list of everything I’d want in a partner, they would check all the boxes. I do care for them, deeply and genuinely, but it’s not in a romantic sense - more of a ‘you’re one of my best friends in the whole world, and sometimes we fuck’.” Calum hadn’t realized how red he had gotten, but it definitely made him fan himself as he let out a small chuckle, “I’m sorry, that was… A lot of information.”

When Ashton broke out into his signature grin, Calum couldn’t help but to mirror it with his own grin, “Well brother, you know I love you and support you no matter what you choose to do. I told you I’d help you hide a body, but I do hope it never comes to that point. Just don’t be an asshole and I’m always here for you.”

Calum laughed again, rubbing a hand over his face, “That made me so fucking nervous man. When I was thinking about it, I was kinda like ‘this sounds so cold’.”

Ashton cut him off from going any further with a scoff, “We all know that’s the last thing you are.” With that, Ashton reopened his book and continued on with a lyric he was talking about previously; and Calum couldn’t wipe the grin off of his face.

Over the next few days, Calum had told his friends individually - being met with open arms and plenty of questions. Of course he didn’t mind, but it was relieving to him to feel like things were going back to normal, and he was starting to feel more like himself again. He hadn’t gotten to see you since that morning at his house, but he had texted you to tell you about his new findings - your congratulating text in return, saying how you loved him and were proud of him, had him grinning the rest of the day.

The Fourth of July came quicker than any of them had anticipated, and Calum’s group of friends scrambled to come up with some last minute plans. You had to work during the day, so you would miss the planned barbeque at Michael’s house, but you would be off in time to meet them at the local park to watch the fireworks that Calum had seen a sign for a few days prior.

There was nothing easier for Calum than being around his friends; and while he knew they accepted him and easily accepted his realization about his romantic orientation, he still worried. Worried that things would be different, or they would feel the need to treat him differently. But as he sat there, beer in hand, warmth washed over him when he noticed no palpable tension in the air; instead his ears rang with Ashton’s giggle as he laid on the lawn with South and Moose, wrestling with the two dogs.

With everyone thoroughly fed (and a majority tipsy), they all decided to make the small trek to the park, Calum offering to walk with Moose along the way - his secret favourite of Michaels’ dogs, though he’d never say so.

It was long after they had gotten there did you arrive, the sun finally starting to set to hopefully cut through some of the heat from the day. Moose launched herself at you to signal your arrival, which in turn set off South - before you knew it you were on the ground being bathed in puppy kisses.

“Quite the welcome,” You teased, scooping up South into your arms when the pair had finally eased up.

“They know how to roll out a welcome mat, what can we say,” Calum laughed, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek, enveloping you in a warm hug. The hug was more rigid than you were used to from Calum, and it gave you a weird sense of tension off of him.

Sitting down next to him, you frowned when you noticed his breathing was shallow on top of the weird tension that was coming off of him in waves, “Are you okay?” You never hesitated to be honest with Calum, and you’d hoped that he’d be as honest as he was that morning, especially if something was wrong.

Calum nodded, pursing his lips in thought for a beat before finally speaking, “This is just the first time I’ve seen you since that morning, I just wanted to make sure we were good. I know I haven’t been the best at keeping up communication lately.”

“You were never much of a talker, love,” Your shoulder nudged his, prompting him to look at you. “We’re good… Never better, I’d say.”

Calum’s shoulders visibly relaxed, his wide, charming smile reappearing on his lips.

“There’s the squishy man I know and love,” You said, reaching your fingers up to pinch his cheeks. “You gonna come lay here like they’re doing or what?”

Glancing around, Calum saw everyone paired up one way or another, couples and best friends alike had one person leaning against the other; the last bit of sunlight casting a glow over all of them. A feeling of calm settled over the crowd, and Calum especially - he had waited to feel like he had purpose, waited to feel wanted. As he settled against you, you began to play with his hair gently; and he understood that his purpose was just to be who he was - a man who loved his friends and family wholeheartedly, to want what was best for others, rather than want for himself alone.

tag list: @haikucal @talkfastromance4 @softbabiestan @boyfriend-cal @calum-uncrowned @wildflowerirwin @irwindoll @gosh-im-short @atlcalm @thesubtweeter @heavenisapeach @ridingcthood @loveroflrh @mantlereid @inlovehoodx @irwinkitten @n-ctarinenga @g-l-pierce @thecurlsofgod

#calum hood #calum hood blurb #calum hood fluff #bi!calum #calum hood fanfiction #5sos fanfiction

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neo-shitty · 3 years

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toffee!

yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go

ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution

hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.

its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out

oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!

ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)

ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)

thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)

ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e

yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.

"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.

falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.

i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.

bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.

my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!

DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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rumpledgoldenweaver · 3 years

Text

A Weekend Away

Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling February prompt “I think we’re lost”. Also @fluffapalooza if it’s still open :) Read it on my blog: https://earlyrisingwriting.home.blog/2021/02/14/a-weekend-away/

An opportunity arises for the Gold Boys to spend time together away from Storybrooke’s prying eyes.

Malcolm Gold – he’d adopted his son’s cursed surname, Stiltskin didn’t seem right, it only served to remind him of the anger he’d felt when naming his baby boy. He didn’t want anything to do with the name Peter Pan any more, Gold was a fresh start – was beginning to rue the day he’d agreed to joining his rapidly expanding family for a weekend at Rumple’s forest cabin. It’s like the tree houses in Neverland Neal had explained but on the ground. It’ll be fun Papa, his son had told him through obviously gritted teeth, Malcolm hadn’t missed the discreet elbow to the ribs Rumple had taken from Belle as she’d added that it would be an opportunity to talk away from the scrutiny of the towns folk. Henry had kept a commendable straight face at that remark considering she was referring to at least half of his family. Malcolm liked Belle. She was honest, trusting but not to be crossed. Just what his son needed to keep him in line. It was mainly because of her he’d agreed to come along.

Malcolm had also been grateful to Belle for her advice regarding clothing in this new land. Although Rumple’s suits looked sharp, he didn’t want that many layers. Neal’s clothes were a bit too casual so he settled on trousers Henry had called Chinos, shirts with buttons, thin jumpers and boots called Timberland. Today he was particularly glad of the boots. Rumple had used magic to transport all the necessary clothes, food etc to the cabin, leaving Malcolm, Neal and Henry free to arrive on foot. Henry had been so excited at the thought of a hike through the forest with his Dad, no one had the heart to object.

“I think we’re lost” Malcolm tried to get his bearings however the trees all looked the same, he had no idea how far into the the forest they were.

“Lost Boys” sniggered Neal. Henry snorted which made his father laugh even more.

“Following the leader, the leader, the leader” sang Henry “We’re following the leader…”

“Wherever he may go” Neal joined in, the two of them dancing round in a circle.

“Very funny”

“You have no idea” laughed Neal “Have you seen the Disney film about Peter Pan yet?”

“The what?” Malcolm was still bemused by the popular cultures of the world he now lived in even though he’d got a better grasp of how it actually worked.

Henry grinned the kind of wicked grin Rumple would have been proud of “You’ll love it Gramps, especially Hook”

Neal’s eyebrows rose at the use of Gramps in relation to Malcolm

“What? I call Rumple Grandpa and Malcolm didn’t like Great Grandpa so Mum suggested Gramps”

“Which Mum?” though Neal had his suspicions

Henry didn’t answer but the glint in his eye was enough. Emma had an evil sense of humour.

“One of you must have been to this cabin before?”

“Neal shook his head “I arrived in town not long before the trip to Neverland but Papa and I weren’t exactly on friendly terms back then”

“I haven’t been either, I didn’t know Grandpa was my Grandpa and my mums weren’t about to let me hang out with The Dark One”

“Wonderful”

Neal looked around for minute or two, then as if some secret signal had been given he made an abrupt turn and set off down a path “Come on. It’s this way”

“Rumple will you please stop fussing. We have enough food to survive a small siege. There is no need to summon more”

“Have you ever fed a twelve year old boy? If his appetite is anything like Bae’s at that age then…” he felt a lump rise in his throat.

“Rumple?”

“Then I want to make sure there’s plenty”

“Oh Rumple” she hugged him hoping to both reassure and pull him out of this melancholy. He pulled her closer, nuzzling her hair, whispering a thank you sweetheart. Belle moved to kiss him and for the next couple of minutes there was a feeling of peace between them.

“Hi Grandpa Hi Belle sorry we’re.. oh…” Henry looked embarrassed at interrupting. Belle giggled, Rumple never even turned round as he replied “Hi Henry”

“Are they here?” Neal’s voice carried through the door.

“Er...yes…they are.. here…”

“Is something up?” Neal strode into the living room and stopped dead “Oh for pities sake you two get a room!”

Rumple did turn this time “This is my cabin Bae and my room”

“Not in front of the wee ones eh Laddie?” Malcolm chuckled.

“Indeed”

“Rumple..” there was a warning tone to Belle’s voice “remember what we talked about”

“Hmm”

Ever the diplomat Henry piped up “Is there anything to eat? I’m starving”

“Yes of course Henry” smiled Belle “in the kitchen”

The young boy disappeared, returning within five minutes carrying a plate loaded with burger, fries, onion rings, various dips and salad. Rumple gave Belle a told you so look.

“He obviously appreciates his food” Malcolm watched in amusement at Henry giving the burger his full attention.

“Takes after his father” Rumple nodded towards Neal as he too went to the kitchen and brought back a plate piled high.

Conversation remained light hearted as they ate, comments about both Neal and Henry having hollow legs because of their hearty appetites. Rumple found he was nearly enjoying himself. Nearly being better than not at all as Belle reminded him earlier.

“Where on earth did all the food come from anyway?” Malcolm asked as he debated which of the many desserts to try.

“I summoned it” Rumple replied reaching for a cupcake.

“Magic” Neal raised a suspicions eyebrow.

“Only to bring it here. It’s not magic food. I’ve paid Granny’s chef triple his wages to cook a steady supply especially for us”

“Fair enough” Neal took a satisfied mouthful of cake.

“More tea anyone?” Belle stood up and began collecting the various cups and mugs strewn around the room

“Coffee if you have it please”

“Of course Bae, I’ll put the pot on. Coffee has it’s own magic Dearie” he twirled his arms, turned on his heel and practically skipped out after Belle.

The expression on Henry’s face was priceless.

When everyone had eaten their fill, plates, cups and cutlery washed, dried and put away by hand not magic Rumple keenly pointed out, Henry suggested they watch a film. Malcolm being particularly interested in the idea of a a “moving book” being shown on something called a TV screen. Then began the debate over which one to put on. Whilst there wasn’t a great deal of choice amongst the DVD’s at the cabin, Rumple would be happy to summon whichever was decided on. Mostly it was left to Neal and Henry as they had the widest knowledge of such things. It seemed to Malcolm to be a very complicated process.

“Nothing over a PG”

“Awww Dad! I’m twelve! I can watch..”

“No. Your Mothers would find a hundred ways to kill me, bring me back to life and kill me all over again if they found out you’d watched anything remotely inappropriate”

“Grandpa would protect you”

“Oh no no no” laughed Rumple “Do not bring me into this. I argued with both of them over many things but even I have limits”

“What about that.. Disney thing you mentioned on the way here? Would that be allowable?”

All eyes turned to Malcolm.

“You mean Peter Pan?” Henry looked sceptical.

“Yeah.. that. I’d like to see it”

Rumple and Belle exchanged a look before he got up and went into the main bedroom. There followed the sound of keys turning in locks and a safe being opened.

“You keep Disney DVD’s in a vault Papa?”

“Along with a few other items I was unsure about at first yes”

“Such as?”

“Such as none of your business son” he walked back into the living room brandishing the disc “You can do the honours Bae”

It could, Belle mused to herself long after everyone else had retired for the night, have gone a lot worse. For instance everyone agreed that the physical resemblance between the cartoon and the person was actually rather accurate. They had all laughed like drains at Captain Hook. Belle honestly thought she’d have to give medical attention to Rumple and Malcolm as their hysterics gave way to mighty coughing fits. Neal and Henry sang along with the songs, Never Smile At A Crocodile didn’t go down very well with Rumple at first but he saw the funny side in the end. When it came to Following The Leader, the youngest father and son immediately leapt to their feet and began dancing round the room in a repeat of their antics in the forest earlier.

“So that’s where that song came from” groused Malcolm.

There seemed to be an unspoken agreement to not discuss certain details regarding film versus real life, for that Belle was grateful. She knew the relationships in that room were complicated, messy, quite possibly very unhealthy and could keep Archie Hopper on Rumple’s pay roll for decades. Whilst she believed talking about these issues was healthy, this weekend was not the time or the place. For once no one was arguing, for once certain townsfolk weren’t around to stick their well intentioned (or otherwise) noses in. She wondered if inviting her own father for a weekend here might help ease tensions between him and her boyfriend. Maybe leave it a month or so before she suggested that.

“What are you smirking at?” Rumple came from the en suite, pulled the bed covers back and climbed in bed beside her. Her eyes gleamed with mischief.

“Don’t you dare Belle” he warned, which was the wrong thing to say because of course she dared.

“Never smile at a crocodile..”

“I’m warning you young lady”

“No you can’t get friendly with a crocodile…” she sang between giggles.

“Right then”

And he proceeded to show her how friendly crocodiles could be when they wanted to.

#a monthly rumbelling #fluffapalooza 2021 #february prompt #gold family fic #gold boys fic

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solarscholarsofmagick · 4 years

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few people have come to me asking for recommended reading regarding astrology, and my answer is constantly changing, as it really depends on your level of knowledge. So here I’m going to share a few of my favorites off my Astrology bookshelves (yes, I have more than one shelf dedicated to astrology). This is a guide for the self-made, self-taught astrologer! - Our Astrologer, Cosmic Love

For Beginners! Learn this name. Linda Goodman. This woman was my introduction to astrology. I read her book, Sun Signs, when I was 8 years old and it hooked me. This book came out in 1968 and was the first book on astrology to reach the New York Times Best-Seller list. Her writing is very clear to complete beginners, and entertaining to read even for more experienced astrology students. Her writing style reminded me of my grandmother, who gave me the book, so it was a very familiar-feeling and easy-to-read book.

Many of you will recognize the name “Llewellyn” if you’re involved in the metaphysical or magickal community in any way. They have a great introductory book on astrology, called Llewellyn’s Complete Book of Astrology: The Easy Way To Learn Astrology. It is a good resource for anyone learning astrology, and will give you a decent grasp of the basic factors involved in a chart.

Another great resource for any astrologer looking to learn is Astrology: Understanding The Birth Chart by Kevin Burk. This book has a lot of very useful information and is an excellent tool, especially for those interested in a more classical approach to astrology. This book is aimed less at modern astrology, and more at the carefully calculated science that ancient astrologers practiced in Greece.

One of my personal favorite textbook-like astrology books is A Spiritual Approach to Astrology, by Myrna Lofthus. This is an incredible book with a whole load of information useful to any level astrologer. It even includes a spiritual view on aspects and placements. This book dives into overviews of the planets, signs and houses as well as aspects from a karmic and spiritual perspective. If you’re looking for soul development, this is your astrology bible.

I found this next one at a garage sale one day for $1 and just had to call it destiny. The Compleat Astrologer, by Derek & Julia Parker, was published in 1971, and was such a great find! It’s a beautifully illustrated collector’s book with lots of good information for the beginning astrologer. It goes through the signs one by one and includes a historical timeline of astrology and “The Astrological Ages of Man,” which the history buff inside me finds incredibly fascinating! Maybe I’ll do a blog post on astrological ages of man soon…

One of my more recent favorites, The Astrology of Fate by Liz Greene, presents astrology from a somewhat classical perspective, yet also slightly modern in her psychological analysis. She uses Greek myths and ancient archetypes to describe the patterns of the planets involved in major life events and makes some very interesting connections! This book also gives many examples and may use technical jargon, so I recommend this book for after you’ve read the previous books listed.

I personally did not have as much interest in this book, but it is a good beginner resource, so I feel obligated to list it here. The Inner Sky by Steven Forrest was recommended to me by a friend years ago, and I didn’t connect very well with his writing style, but he does have great information here. Steven Forrest also has a whole series of astrology books for different levels of learning, so there is something for everyone with his work.

An excellent book for anyone struggling to understand the concept of the houses and their themes, The Twelve Houses by Howard Sasportas is a wonderfully informative book specifically about the houses and the planets throughout the houses. This has some great information on aspect patterns involving houses as well.

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There is a series of astrology handbooks by Frances Sakoian and Louis S. Acker, all of them very good resources. First, there’s The Astrologer’s Handbook, which focuses mainly on natal chart interpretation. The next one I would look into is Predictive Astrology, which mainly focuses on the meanings of transits. Then there’s another book on reading synastry charts (relationship astrology) called The Astrology of Human Relationships.

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If you’re interested in learning specifically about the ancient Hellenistic tradition of astrology, this list would not be complete without Hellenistic Astrology: The Study of Fate and Fortune by Chris Brennan. This book is a textbook for the ancient Hellenistic way of learning astrology, complete with chart examples and analyses. Chris Brennan offers astrology courses on his website as well and is the host of The Astrology Podcast.

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Another one, Llewellyn’s Complete Book of Predictive Astrology: The Easy Way To Predict Your Future, is a good resource for beginners of predictive work. It has a lot of information and great example charts to help grasp confusing concepts.

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Another great book is Predictive Astrology: The Eagle And The Lark by Bernadette Brady. This one has a huge amount of information stuffed into such a tiny package. It includes descriptions of the planets, signs and aspects and how they translate to predictive work. It also includes transits and progressions, as well as time maps, transit grids, and how to use them all.

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One book I’ve worn out with predictive astrology is Planets in Solar Returns: Yearly Cycles of Transformation and Growth by Mary Fortier Shea. This book is specifically written for solar return charts, but has some very helpful information on how to translate a solar return into something that makes sense. This book includes placements as well as aspects.

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Another great book on solar return predictions is The New Solar Return Book of Prediction by Raymond A. Merriman. This book goes into all kinds of detail regarding solar return charts and how to interpret them.

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For a great guide book on transits and progressions to natal planets and points, look for Roadmap To Your Future by Bernie Ashman. It contains symbolism of all of the planets, example charts, as well as a description of all of the transits and progressions.

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If you’re interested more in Vedic astrology, check out volumes 1 and 2 of Brihat Parasara Hora Sastra: A Compendium in Vedic Astrology. This massive collection of knowledge may be a little advanced for those just starting in astrology, but if you’re already familiar with the basics of Vedic astrology, go ahead and give it a shot!

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For people interested in predicting events with astrology, I have a few books that have helped me! First, Predicting Events With Astrology by Celeste Teal. This book is textbook-like and very informative regarding predictive astrology. It goes over using decans as well, which is very important in getting specific information from a chart.

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For those of you interested in a karmic approach to astrology, Astrology, Karma & Transformation: The Inner Dimensions of the Birth Chart by Stephen Arroyo is a great informative read, and includes the karmic ideas of the outer planets and their transits. Also, any and all of the Karmic Astrology series by Martin Schulman. I still haven’t been able to get all of this collection, but I have a few and they’ve all been quite interesting to read.

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For anyone interested in the complex world of medical astrology, I have two books to recommend. First, Your Health in Your Horoscope: Introduction to Medical Astrology by Stefan Stenudd. This book is a great introduction, as it says in the title, but doesn’t get into extensive medical correspondences and specifics. I just ordered The Encyclopedia of Medical Astrology by Howard Leslie Cornell, and I’m so excited to see what information it holds for me!

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Anyone who likes lists and textbook learning will love The Rulership Book by Rex E. Bills. This book is essentially a book of lists relating to astrology. It includes correspondence lists for each sign, planet and house, as well as a “dictionary” in the beginning to look up almost anything you can think of. I use this book ALL the time when writing my articles as well as for reference sometimes when I’m blocked reading a chart. I highly recommend this one; I feel it’s essential for any astrologer to have.

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For tarot readers out there, I just bought a book called Tarot and Astrology: Enhance Your Readings With The Wisdom Of the Zodiac by Corrine Kenner. This book is excellent for those with an understanding of tarot who are trying to learn astrology to help their readings. It has tables for reference as well as corresponding cards for each sign and planet placement. Very useful book already and I’ve barely even gotten a chance to read through it yet!

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Another book I just bought and am already enjoying is Pam Gregory’s You Don’t Really Believe in Astrology, Do You? I really love a good astrology book that gets technical with things. Pam Gregory is someone I’ve already been following on YouTube and online, and now I’m so excited to be reading her book!

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For anyone looking for information on working with the Moon’s timing, Living By The Moon: A Practical Guide for Choosing the Right Time by Ute York is an excellent addition to your library! A must-have, in fact. This book packs all kinds of lunar information into a small package and isn’t astrologically complex at all, so any level of astrologer can use it!

There are a few more on my shelf that are great books, too, but I think this is enough for a good, well-rounded reading list. I hope this list will be a helpful tool for your journey of self-discovery and healing, and I hope that you continue to learn the path of the stars!

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