#but they’re getting better!!!! or atleast coping with it better

[rozugold]

There are 2 Tommys in my head and they are both mentally ill

#dream smp #dream smp fanart #c!tommy #painted illusions #distorted illusions #rozoodles #but they’re getting better!!!! or atleast coping with it better #I know I haven’t posted bout them in a bit but I am thinking about them everyday

[xiaosonlybeloved]

Our Love is Six Feet Under- Nakahara Chuuya

featuring: Nakahara Chuuya (bsd), gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned) warnings:- angst throughout, major character death, major light novel (stormbringer) spoilers!! a/n:- my, my, this idea has actually been rotting in my brain for over a month and its my longest fic till date. i loved writing it i hope u guys like it too <33 heavily inspired by 'six feet under' by billie eilish

wc: 3k || masterlists

You feel like you’ve been through worse than hell and back when you drag your eyes open. It doesn’t take you long to assess your situation and remember what had happened to you in the first place to get you attached to a hospital bed with various machines around you.

You promptly wish you’d rather have died instead, or never woken up. Not having had to deal with the pain that stabbed your heart like a thousand serrated, unforgiving knives would be a million times better than being alive. It would have been so much better than being the only survivor. 

Technically, you should feel no personal guilt over the Flags’ deaths. Its not like you had been hired to protect them, and what you had been paid to specifically do is the only thing that matters when you’re an assassin. Especially when the Port Mafia is the one who outsourced you. The blame of their deaths could, in no way, be pinned upon you.

Having feelings is what gets someone killed in the world you live in, a dark world in the deepest shadows of the city. Having an ability is no reason to be confident of yourself, not when the country is littered with ability users everywhere. And yet having an ability as unique as yours is how you managed to save yourself from the certain death brought upon you all by the King of Assassins.

It was supposed to be another normal day, right? You were off-duty, so you were hanging out with the Flags at the usual place, who you had become ‘acquainted’ with over the past few months of working together, Mori’s orders. If you could dare to curse yourself and them by calling you guys friends, you would. One of them, possibly the one you were closest with, had left for some mission with a foreign investigator, long story. So you were chilling out with the others, playing billiards and all that stuff. 

If someone had told you that would be your last memory together, you would have atleast clicked a picture for keepsakes. Or you’d have cherished the moment more, rather than treating it so casually. After all, you never know the value of what you’ve lost until you’ve lost it. 

In the present, you shut out your emotions- they’re too much of a storm for you to be able to deal with. The grief at their deaths, the horror at the memory of the sight, the overwhelming grief- you needed a break. You slipped back into unconsciousness, a weight lying heavy on your chest that would surely never leave you until you die.

********

The funeral seems much too loud and way too quiet at the same time, or perhaps thats just your thoughts. You’re silent in the shadows, yet again, watching the processions and the choir wordlessly. You don’t speak anything. You don’t think you have the right to. 

You haven’t dared to talk to Chuuya, or even approach him. He was the only member of the Flags who was not present when Verlaine struck, and thus the only one alive. He was incredibly close to them, you know, because you yourself were close to them, to him. Barely anyone had spoken a word to him, not even the boss. His aura was such that if you even dared to approach him, you’d probably either have your lungs squashed by gravity, or his own carefully crafted facade would break down. 

If, as someone who wasn’t even part of the Port Mafia or the Flags, you had been affected so badly, how was Chuuya coping? Was he? Yet, out of habit, you can’t help but keep an eye out for him. Silently, selfishly even, perhaps you’re hoping he can find it in himself to forgive you.

The foreign investigator has shown up again, looking much too cheerful for someone entering a funeral, and goes straight to Chuuya. You can feel that he’s pissed off, but a few words from Mori, and Chuuya stands up in a forced manner, going to leave with the detective. 

You manage to meet his gaze finally, but you don’t think you’d ever be prepared for it. His eyes bored straight into yours, eyes that had once looked at you with mirth and laughter, and dare you say it, love, eyes that were always an open gateway to his emotions. They held nothing but silent accusations, hidden anger, all pointing their sharp ends towards you. Not a single friendly feeling. 

Not a word is exchanged as he walks right past you, but there’s no need to. You’ve gotten the silent message he’s sending you crystal clear- he will never forgive you for this.

You think you deserve it fully, you understand. Even now. How twisted, really, but you got it. When he lost the Flags, he lost a part of himself too, but he still remembered you. And remembering you was a constant reminder of them, of your failure to save them, of the pain that came with. 

Though it hurt you, you knew that distancing yourself from him was the best thing to do. If you pursued him again, there was no telling what he might end up doing, but it certainly wouldn’t end well. Chuuya likely knew this too, and he clearly didn’t want you to come back. So you wouldn’t. This funeral would be the last time you associated with the Port Mafia, and thus Chuuya, even if it hurt you to do so. But again, considering feelings is what gets you killed in this world, and you’d rather not die so soon, although you actually don’t mind. 

And well, what did it matter if somewhere, sometime, Chuuya secretly wished you’d ask him to return?

********

Visiting their graves has become a monthly thing to you, due to your inability to let the past stay in the past. Perhaps its your own, guilty way of attempting to make amends, perhaps its your way of keeping their memory engraved in your mind, perhaps its to ensure that they aren’t forgotten, even if you know well they will never be. Deep inside, its a way for you to mourn the dead, as well as the loss of the living. 

You bring flowers every time, stay a while, occasionally leave something for them. Sometimes, you talk to them, sometimes you apologise over and over again, sometimes you stay silent, letting your thoughts still for a while. If nothing else, you just stared at the small rose plants that were growing there, one behind each of the five graves. It always amazed you, that such a delicate flower could grow in such a barren place. It sure seemed like they’d be blooming soon, and whenever you visited, you always made sure to check on them.

Time passes, but the wounds do not heal from inside, they just scab over, concealing the pain at first glance. You’ve gotten better at hiding it, yes, but that does not make it any better. You’ve become stronger, risen in rank as an assassin, honed your skills further. You’ve become reputed for carrying out your tasks in a swiftly lethal, unclouded way that left no traces. Almost a year has already gone by since the incident, and you still havent forgiven yourself. Nor has Chuuya.

That’s why, on their death anniversary, when you feel his cold gaze on you for the first time in a whole year when you were at their graves, you don’t hesitate to get up and start to leave. It’s best for him to not see you again. You’ve cut off all contact with the Port Mafia, except for when you occasionally got hired by them, and even then you finished it quickly, wasting no time. Interacting with no one. 

So that’s why it surprises you, when he holds up a hand, walking past you to lay the flowers on their graves. “You can stay.” He speaks emotionlessly, not looking at you. He sounds older, more mature, which was to be expected, you supposed. You remain standing where you are for a few moments, not facing him as he walks over and sits behind one of the graves. “As long as you aren’t doing anything wrong, of course.” He adds. At that, you sit in front of the grave he’s leaning against, replying quietly with a “No, I was merely paying my respects.”

It was anyways evening when you came, soon, the moon starts its ascent through the sky, as silence settles between the two of you. Not a word is exchanged between the two of you as you sit on opposite sides of the same grave, in each other’s company. The only people who could truly understand each other’s pain and suffering.

You settle for silently staring at the roses. Small buds have formed, but they don’t look well- its as if the whole plant is starting to wilt, little by little. They haven’t flowered even once yet,and you wondered if those roses would bloom before the plant died. Could they? After all, the weather was changing- it was raining more often these days. Maybe they couldn’t take it. Even now, a light drizzle had started as you sat, but it took you some time to realise, because you didn’t feel the rain at all, only noticing the faint red hue around. You didn’t mention it, nor did Chuuya.

Perhaps, whatever once could have been between you and the guy opposite you was symbolised by those roses- it could have bloomed, if given the chance, but life abandoned it,  left it to wilt in the aftermath of the storm. Any possible chances for you two were like the beloved ones who had left you now- six feet under the ground, dead, marked by a grave. This was merely the hand that fate dealt you, you had no choice but to accept it

********

“I can’t see the moon tonight.”. You murmur, almost to yourself, as you remain seated against the graves. It had been years, and even till now, neither of you had stopped coming to the grave to pay your respects, you arriving first every time and waiting for him. Your own visits weren’t monthly anymore due to life, more sporadic, but you still did visit from time to time, and you know Chuuya did too. And every year, on the fateful day that the incident happened, both of you never failed to show up, at the same time. Sometimes you exchanged a few words of greeting, a line or two about life. Other times you sat in silence till the moon’s glow started to dim, leaving as noiselessly as you came. Over time, this became your and Chuuya’s last remaining shared tradition out of all those that used to exist, your last link to each other. Seems like none of you was truly able to stay away from the other after all, huh?

“Say, Chuuya, next year, can you check for me whether the moon is visible or not? I feel like there really is something different about it on this day.” You ask him. He curtly replies, “Yeah no, you can do it yourself when you come back here. There’s no big deal about it anyways.” There’s no real bite in his words though, but it still saddens you. You wave it aside though, as you stare at the rose plants, like you always do. 

Over the years, those roses have wilted, died, and new plants have grown in their place. Not a single one of them ever bloomed though. You want to ask Chuuya to check on those plants next year too, but you don’t.

Tired from your day at work- it was more hectic and dangerous than usual- you lean against Chuuya’s shoulder. He remains motionless- he doesn’t push you away, but he certainly doesn’t pull you closer either. This is another thing you developed over the years- if either of you felt like you needed a shoulder on that day, the other would offer it. And you wanted to do it one last time.

Eventually, you two get up and brush yourselves off, preparing to part ways. You can’t help but let your gaze linger on Chuuya’s for a second more than usual as you open up your umbrella- it always does rain on this day, but today it seemed a bit gentler yet stronger- as if the skies were quietly lamenting over what was to come. 

Right before he left, he quietly spoke, the whisper floating between you. “Don’t think everything’s alright between us, because it isn’t.” He always does say something like this before he leaves every time, and again, there’s no real bite or meaning behind those words, just a formality he wishes to continue. 

You let a sad smile rest on your face as you gazed at him, before responding, “Don’t worry, I know.”

“Take care, Chuuya.”

As you started walking off alone, feeling Chuuya’s eyes still on you, ensuring your safety like the gentleman he was, you wondered if you had truly tied all the remaining loose ends of your thread of life, or did you still have regrets? It was very likely- no one could say they died without any regrets at all. And besides, no one’s end was written in stone, unless they carved it themselves. Sometimes, you couldn’t help but wonder if it was ever all too much for you.

The next morning, you call your boss to let him know that you’re ready to take on the mission. It was an important one, involving both a long period of infiltration for gathering valuable intel, and then the assassination of the target at the end. It was a high-risk mission too, but you were used to those, weren’t you?

Why would this mission be any different?

*********

Another year rolled past. This year, Chuuya hadn’t been able to visit the graves at all after the first two-three months because he had been sent overseas for a long-term mission. During the months he’d been in Yokohama, he hadn’t caught a glimpse of you- of course he hadn’t, he made sure to avoid the days you came, preferring to merely see the traces of yourself you left and leaving his own. After that he only got the chance to return there on their next death anniversary, and even for that he had to fight tooth and nail. He was a man of actions, and he would never be the one to break the tradition.

But he’d never imagined that you would break it either. You too were a person who valued actions, or had you changed over the years? 

His sharp eyes scanned the graves cautiously, but there was not a single trace of you. The only life around were the rose plants, not a soul in sight.

Rage, resentment and hints of sorrow bubbled up in him, taking him by storm as he strode over and angrily sat down by one of the graves. He was silent the entire night, letting his rush of emotions subside, staring at the gates as if he was expecting you to suddenly pop out. He stared at the moon, and at the roses. Did you not notice that they were about to bloom when you last visited? Because they were in full bloom that night, for the first time in years, delicate, fragrant petals shining in the moonlight. The moon, too, looked beautiful that night, a full moon surrounded by clouds. It was raining, heavier than usual, but the moon was never hidden. A memory entered his mind- last year, you had asked him to check whether the moon was visible this year.

“Well, it’s visible, and it sure is beautiful, but you didn’t even show up. Why?” He bitterly spoke out loud.

In the soft blowing wind that accompanied the rain, a stray lone rose petal lying on the ground gently floated in air, appearing as ethereal as smoke. He rose up to leave- you clearly weren’t showing up- eyes following the petal as it blew about, landing on a grave not of the Flags, but right beside, almost as if the deceased had specifically asked it to be there. It seemed relatively new too, for he hadn’t seen it the last time he’d been here. He walked over to it, to read what was written on the gravestone.

A moment passed, then another. And another. And Chuuya doesn’t know how long he spent there, kneeling in front of it. He was slowly getting drenched, because his ability had deactivated itself at some point of the night, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was the neatly written words staring back at him, taunting him.

At some point, he understood why he was alone that night. Why you weren’t there to give him company, solace that night. It was because you couldn’t, and so you’d left whatever remained of yourself there, beside him, beside them, eternally. He just hadn’t known.

He could barely breathe, he wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to, because his chest felt so heavy then. Eventually, he noticed where the petal had landed- it was a small letter, slightly wet and yellowed, kept in such a way that the rain wouldn’t destroy it. Someone must have kept it there on your request, and so he took it  out, eyes taking in the faintly smudged but still intelligible words.

‘I’m sorry, Chuuya, for everything. I hope you can forgive me someday, even if I myself never could. Thank you for staying with me, for existing.

-Love, [Y/N]’

A silent tear slipped out of his eye, then another. “Idiot.” he whispered, voice cracking. “You’ve always been too hard on yourself. I think I forgave you a long time ago, I guess I just never wanted to acknowledge it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being too late.”

“And don’t worry, the moon looks beautiful tonight, and so do the roses. They’ve finally bloomed. I think you would have loved to see them, wouldn’t you?”

this took me ages to write, but i hope u like it hehehe anyways votes, reblogs and comments are really very much appreciated <333

#skylia's works #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd fic #bsd fanfic #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd nakahara #chuuya #nakahara chuuya #bsd chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #chuuya angst #nakahara chuuya angst #nakahara chuuya x reader angst #nakahara chuuya x reader #bsd angst #chuuya fanfic #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bungou stray dogs fanfic

[thatonezodiacfan]

I haven't posted in a while so here’s one of my folders in my notes app dedicated to lmk :)

a lot of people head canon that macaque smells like mango’s or plums or whatever stone fruit you associate him with but I think it would really awesome if he smelled like curry 24/7, it is in fact the only thing he knows how to make. AND HES GREAT AT IT. I think it would be really funny if he smelled like a whole thanksgiving, he smells like curry and can’t get rid of it. 

-Now realizing that in the first episode in lmk Monie king took some of mks powers away so he could learn better, right? We never see swk give them back (and YES he did say Mk COULD get them back). Bro defeated LBD without his extra power not even MONKIE KING could beat her. IMAGINE WHAT MK COULD DO WITH HIS FULL POWER. LIKE CMON.

-i think that it would be cool if when Mac and swk were younger they would have a bad habit of when they talk they would get so rapped up in the situation and find themselves REALLY close to eachother and old habits die hard I guess because skip forward to Mk times and I  think they would still sometimes find themselves do that and immediately get REALLY embarrassed 

Lmk coping mechanisms: 

macaque: online shopping while murdering someone    

Swk:He brushes his teeth, peach in mouth, struggling to yell at the cardboard cutout

Tang’s  is going to the noodle shop, and yes I’m insinuating that he’s stressed all the time

Sandys would be making collars for his cats, some cats have 2-3 collars because of this

Mk’s: he doesn’t have one, he bottles it up 

Mei: she would go to one of those rooms where you can pay to break stuff

Bai he: she talks to macaque, he braids her hair while she rants, or they’re making curry

Redson: he makes little robots or he works on his cars that have atleast one epic transformation 

#Mei #redson #mk #bai he #pigsy #tang #macaque #swk #monkie king #lmk #shadowpeach #lmk head canons #lmk theory #rant post

[coldstonedreamery]

Hi 🩵 do u have any tips on how to get over an ex who immediately started dating other girls after the breakup? thank u and love ur photos <3

ughhh that sucks. i think with any breakup the only thing you can do is tread through it with dignity and grace. don’t reach out, don’t find reasons to see them. just mute them & the girls they’re with + anyone else who would be posting them on their stories. as much as you want to look, dont. keep busy every day with your friends & exercise & work. you really just have to fill each day with plans and rebuild your own world until before you know it, it’s been a month and you’re hardly thinking of the ex. you’re gonna feel better so soon. I think it takes 6 weeks to feel better after a breakup + a month for every year you were together, or atleast that’s what my therapist says. but yeah my biggest piece of advice is just please don’t act crazy lol. just focus on you and come out of this better. it’s also important to note that they’re not over you just because they’re dating. everyone copes differently

[amaesama]

Hello!! Could I request a platonic, comfort Liu and Ben (separately) x teenager like around 12-13 reader who’s kinda like fischl from genshin impact? But not in the whole acting like a princess, the ‘I’m stuck in my own reality and can’t cope with setbacks or criticisms’. Could it also be gender neutral? Please and thank you!! Have a good life or atleast try to.

Yes!!! I really love this idea! Sorry if it’s a bit short, I wasn’t too sure on what else to include :)

Homicidal Liu:

Seeing someone so young enter the mansion already breaks his heart, but when he talks to you for the first time and see’s how you talk and behave? Oh he is just in the pits of despair.

Liu is no stranger to how someone’s life experiences can change them, he’s seen it both in himself when he split with Sully as well with his own younger brother. He’s a smart guy so he’s able to piece everything together, although he doesn’t know the details as he doesn’t wish to pry into topics you don’t want to discuss.

I headcanon Liu as someone who is in the mansion due to the circumstances of his life and not because he’s some blood thirsty serial killer, so I think he’s a lot more sympathetic than some of the others so it’s likely that he’ll look out for you and stop any harm from coming to you. He’s undoubtedly the best brother figure in the mansion and will treat you like his younger sibling.

If you’re stuck in your own reality then he’ll be hesitant to feed into that at first but he figures that it’s just better for your own mental health to stay there so he won’t try to break you out of it.

When you get a bit older he may try to help you break out of your reality a bit, he believes that this’ll be for the best.

BEN Drowned:

Now BEN is a completely different story.

Hes very happy when you get introduced to him as a) you’re the same age as him (friendly reminder that BEN is 12 and will forever be 12) and b) he see’s you as a massive nerd like him. In a way he lives in his own sort of reality; the kid literally became his favourite character in his favourite game.

He’ll make an active effort to talk to you and get to know you, and he admittedly finds you a bit weird but you most likely find him annoying so you’re equal. Whenever you say something wacky he’ll just be like ‘😀 lol what’.

Honestly he’ll just rope you into whatever shenanigans he gets into and you’ll just become a duo of destruction.

He doesn’t necessarily feed into your version of reality but he doesn’t try to snap you out, he just doesn’t really care, he’s got a new buddy and so what if they’re a little weird, beats hanging around with these emos all the time.

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #homicidal liu x reader #homicidal liu #ben drowned x reader #ben drowned

[rin-and-jade]

Hello! I really appreciate what you do with this blog! :) And wanna say thank you for this!

I'm here looking for advice on persecutors!

I recently found another portion of the headspace, wich contains multiple houses with persecutors or trauma holders in each house (i'll be calling this place "The Neighbourhood")

I as a host with "gatekeeper abilities" and general powers in headspace am totally capable to go to each house and i've actually interacted with two residents of the neighbourhood that are harmless. However, i don't really know how to get to interact with the other residents that are more dangerous or defensive, the gate that separates our regular headspace from the neighbourhood is key to our outerworld safety, so letting the residents of the neighbourhood out would be extreme chaos.

I don't really have access to my therapist right now and we've been working on our system ourselves, so at least getting to know our persecutors names would work for our system mapping.

Any advice on how to interact with them? :/

AWWWW.. And my greatest “you’re welcome” would be going on more in-depth explanation, and my own experience of handling one (two actually) probably in a step by step! But let’s do the opening first.

It’s fine if you can’t get a therapist currently, no, it’s better this way (imo) because persecutors are super reluctant to talk to people who could help them and even lash out (especially ours doesn’t need to mention a therapist, mentioning a friend to talk to also aggravates them well) so doing this alone may work better.

These people hold many traumatic moments (assuming bc both of them do, and different things) and this makes discussion harder when it comes to confronting about something specific. Their arrogance and violent tendencies acts like a cherry on top because jesus christ.. right? It couldn’t be any worse (it could) so here are the steps:

Intimidation: yes, they can be intimidated even if they look intimidating themselves. I highly recommend you talking to them as if you’re both in the same level to keep the defensiveness tamed, it also removes one more reason to act cocky to you (this applies to both of ours because they tried to fight for a position if there is one at the first place)

2. Intro: you gotta act polite to these people too, it makes them slightly more respected and would listen to what you have to say,, also, for a fact that persecutors aren’t 24/7 bad and have a chill side, though its different for everybody because it have many looks. Im just saying being nice deters more bad compared to being bad that breeds more bad.

3. Patience: the hard part is, it’s a really long process to get them to warm up with you,, if they have something to say be it hate or cuss or some honesty.. you should listen to them, no need to take it to heart but atleast have them vent those frustration or thoughts because they keep ALOT of those inside (atleast ours) so by giving them a space to let them out, it’ll be great. Although im saying there will be a boundary here, they cannot harm you or throw threats.. this part is on you because i don’t personally know them to dismiss the topic carefully.

4. Teach: they’ll use bad coping or tactics that further harm the collective if no one suggests them, or tell them what’s the right way of doing things. Im thinking this is formed from habit and because its the only thing they know how to handle things so theres no other options but exposing them to knew things they can try for a healthier outcome, for both parties. One of our persecutor doesn’t even know morals and i teached her why things are that way with good reasons like asking “do you want that to happen to you???” And get a resounding no, changed her way. Profit.

5. Healing: last but not least.. this needs them overcoming their own trauma and fears too, if they’re stuck at fear mode and with the constant anxiety if things will go wrong, it’ll perpetuate the need to keep their members in line and their justifying actions caused by violence, saying “its needed/because im being helpful/it works” and the self sabotaging urges.

Really hope this is a first aid guide that you can use to properly handle a persecutor (and more), just letting you know trial and errors are necessary here so don’t be afraid if you did something wrong or whatnot,, it’s a valuable lesson uncover patterns. Also don’t forget to not do this alone <3

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did system #did osdd #plural #dissociative identity disorder #system stuff #sysblr #janswersask

[menalez]

related to the ‘no actual lesbian characters’ point this always bothered me in degrassi and I’m not even close to being a lesbian, so I’ve watched up to season 11 and I’ve had spoilers for the other seasons + next class (which had the stupid representation of the non-binary character but n e ways) the first named lesbian character introduced was Alex and she had originally been dating this creepy loser but out of no where she became a die hard lesbian after she and Paige became an item which felt just... so forced. I feel like since they made a lot of steps to include a gay male character they were like “oh shit where’s the lesbians” and then rewrote the most futch coded character to be a lesbian, which is... fine I guess but they never even touched on the fact that she was with the moid so it felt like a plot hole they could’ve very easily covered up. I did appreciate how in her stripping story arc they never tried to frame it as empowering like other teen shows (like she’s a literal child?????) and she never expressed any attraction to the Johns which I was rlly scared of. And this was in like 2006 so probably better representation than others at the time. And with Fiona Coyne I also felt like they written her in to be shoehorned as representation since they had already written full character arcs for another gay male and a trans man character, speaking of that the first hint they gave to her being a lesbian was her dating Adam (previously spoken of tif) and solely dating her because she was female and she could obviously see that, and saying “you’re like the best of both worlds” which feels like a cope, and Adam getting super mad about that and breaking up with her. A gold star for the terfyness and representation of butch characters atleast? And later she went on to date multiple other random femmes, I haven’t watched up to the point of her other relationships so she could’ve very well have been botched but :/ Fiona felt more shoe horned than the others because she had literally kissed her brother in a previous episode which... m yeah. And imogen which had been interested in another male character before being given a lesbian character arc, like it’s so lazy... the comphet storylines must be so tiring and is probably to some extent why the master doc exists. Like so many shows have fully fleshed out, researched, and focus grouped storylines for gay male trans etc characters but for lesbian characters they slap on lipstick lesbianism to a random b character then say ‘that’s enough activism for today 🧚‍♀️’

OH MY GOD i was thinking of degrassi too and didn’t wanna say bc i thought no one would know what im talking about. yes the thing with alex was literally so annoying. like the thing that bothers me is they will have these het or bi characters then all of a sudden they’re lesbians and their history with men is not explained at all. they just try to act like it was no big deal. alex was with that piece of shit guy for like at least a year and they were constantly kissing and looking very into each other. they couldn’t find a way to make sense of that for us??? cmon now. but i recall fiona also showing interest in men and then ofc all of a sudden she’s also a lesbian but at least they slowly tried to make sense of that. wait until u get to another one of the lesbian main characters they got in next class. fr it’s the worst one imo. i don’t remember fiona’s story too well but looking at her wiki:

3 ex boyfriends and kissed another guy, the uncensored one is her trans ex boyfriend that u mentioned, and i don’t recall any of this being explained. i don’t remember her showing any discomfort with them either. iirc she seemed very into them?? if they had put any thought into her having been w men, they would’ve shown her not looking into it and perhaps trying to avoid being with them or SOMETHING but they never do that. ever. like. ur right degrassi’s lesbian rep is horrendous. there’s only one character who iirc is a lesbian that is represented decently but shes a side character and isnt that prominent on the show so.. there’s that at least.

also isnt imogen openly bi?? she basically said she’s into ppl regardless of sex

[biderboy]

marauders raising the weasleys part 7 !!!!! (long awaited i’m so sorry but here it is)

- james has gotten each of the kids their own stuffie and they’ve all absolutely adored it , charlie got a dragon (“actually, i think it’s a lizard dad”) percy got a lion, fred and george both got cats, ron got a turtle, and ginny got a giraffe !! they all treasure them, yes even bill, who takes his stuffed cow to hogwarts with him

- lily has a habit of taking pictures and videos of the kids for memories, and so for mother’s day or her birthday, bill takes her camera and films all the kids rambling things about her that they love !!! (ron; “i love mommy’s hair!!” , fred; “mom dances with me around the kitchen!!” )

- when bill was little, he’d get anxious around people and they had to commute to get to his school, so sirius would let him trace words and stars on his arms to help him calm down !! even as a teenager, bill still gets anxious and you can 100% find him seated next to sirius, tracing words and sirius rambling off “did you just trace fuck on my arm you menace”

- the “baby star” charlie has never ever ever been embarrassed of his nickname and one day went to school with tiny star stickers pressed on his cheeks and refused to take them off all day

- ^ he wanted to go as a star for halloween one year but settled on being a cowboy

- percy had to do a project on the solar system one year, but the kids kept bother him when he tried to work on it, so he made them the solar system. charlie was the sun, ron was earth, harry was mercury, ginny was pluto, fred was uranus, george was jupiter, bill was mars! (and yes, the boys joined in james was saturn, sirius was venus, and peter was neptune)

- percy got a 100% simply because remus talked to his teacher before hand and honestly, the project was what was asked of him

- uncle regulus steals a kid for a day !! he does steal one quite often, and they always come back sun kissed and candy filled and they ramble on and on about how “uncle reggie took me to the beach !! we made shell necklaces look mom look !!!”

- speaking of, regulus 100% has pictures of each kid in his wallet because he loves them and shows off his niece and nephews to anyone who listens !! and he takes them whenever he can and teaches them about the stars and wishes and shows them pranks to pull on sirius

- peter got roped into being the parent to go to parent-teacher night for all the kids (bet gone wrong) and he had to explain to fred’s, bills, and ron’s teacher that he was not a single parent and he did not need advice, he was perfectly capable despite the fact that george switched places with fred on the way there

- GEORGE HAS A FLOWER COLLECTION AND A FLOWER FOR EACH OF HIS PARENTS !! everytime he sees that specific flower he has to pick it and rush home to give it to them !! “daddy look look ! i got you a flower!”

- charlie and james do infact what the sunrise every morning because they’re the first people up !!! james makes charlie some hot chocolate (“extra mallows please!!”) and they wrap up in a blanket on the porch !! james tells charlie stories , or sometimes they sit silence, but it’s one of their favorite times of day !! (sometimes remus wakes up and joins them !)

- peter broke his arm once and ginny and percy decorated his cast and would get super mad if anyone else tried to write on it !

- ron really likes to act like he’s a zombie, for some reason (it’s sirius’ fault) ans makes james run around the house so ron can try to catch him

- fred at some point picked up an american accent and talked with it for weeks , lily has no idea where he got it but she 100% joins in because it irritates the boys and puts a huge smile on fred’s face

- JAMES TEACHES BILL AND GINNY HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR AND GETTS TRHEM GUITARS FOR THEIR BIRTHDAYS AND AT SOME POINT THEY START PLAYING HIM SONGS AND HE DOESNT CRY (yes he does)

- as ron gets older, the nickname “jellybean” doesn’t stick, but lily is the only person that is allowed to call him “bean” ; “bean, come here let me fix your hair” , “james stops thats bean’s book!!”

- ginny takes a little too much after remus , and her “anger issues” are very much present from an early age, so remus himself works with her on how to properly calm down and convey her emotions !! he finds that taking her on broom rides helps a lot, so despite not liking flying, he still does for his little girl !!

- charlie only eats grape flavored candies and so peter has a tiny pouch full of grape flavored suckers and candy labeled with “star’s sweets” that he takes everywhere

- peter is also the one you can see most with the bay carrier, as he almost always has ron or ginny strapped to his chest , and he looks like a suburban dad but he’s the absolute greatest with the babies (better then james and remus atleast)

- the marauders have “dad #1 , #2, #3 , and #4” sweaters that they wear at any school event and when lily can’t make it they look like stressed gay parents trying to cope with 8 kids and they never correct the assumptions

#hi can u believe i finally had the motivation for more headcanons #woohooo !!! :p #sorin writes #marauders and weasleys au #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #peter pettigrew #lily evans #regulus black #bill weasley #percy weasley #charlie weasley #george weasley #fred weasley #ron weasley #harry potter #ginny weasley #the marauders #the marauders headcanon #ron weasley headcanon

[heywardsarchive]

Before You Go - [Harry Potter]

Warnings: angst, grief, death, insecurities, anxiety, sadness, alcohol, if I missed any pls let me know!

Summary: Harry lost his lover to the second wizarding war and his mind is uneasy and filled with regret and sadness as he goes through the last of her belongings.

a/n: Letters are in bold and italics, memories are in italics

Word count: 2.3k+

Based off of ‘before you go’ by Lewis Capaldi for @iliveiloveiwrite‘s songfic challenge! I hope you like it:)

Pairing: Harry Potter x female reader

*****

Harry sat on the sofa of his apartment, nursing a bottle of beer in one hand, staring, dazed at the television screen, not paying attention to the movements of the characters. His mind was wandering. The war was over but he was still reeling from the effects of it. He lost so many people he loved, it wasn't his fault but he couldn't help but blame himself. If only he was quicker, smarter. If he didn't let voldemort in he could have stopped sirius from dying. If he just surrendered himself to the dark lord, he could have stopped Fred's death, remus' and tonks too. So many others would have been saved.

The deaths of Fred, Sirius, Remus, Hedwig and others killed him inside but none hurt him as much as hers did. Y/n l/n. The only woman he truly loved. He loved her with every inch and fibre of his being. There was no part of him that didn't ache for her touch. He didn't want her to die. He would have done anything to stop her death, but he couldn't help it.

He tried convincing himself that he hated her. Hated her for leaving him, hated her for saving his life giving her own instead. Hated her for putting his life over her own, which in Harry's eyes was a hundred times more worthy then his. He tried, but he knew he was just kidding himself. How could he hate someone as perfect as her? She put everything above herself.

Every memory of her faded in his mind. All harry could think of was what he should have said when he had her in his arms, feeling her touch on skin. Staring into her (e/c) eyes. Shining with love looking into his emerald green ones, her fingers in his unruly raven hair. If he thought hard enough, he could still feel her lingering touch. But it wasn't enough. He thought of everything he could have said to her. How he could have told her that he loves her, how he wanted to marry her one day, have children of she wished, how he would give everything and everyone to the devil for her. But alas, there were many things that were left unspoken.

Regret. That was all Harry felt. No other emotion but sadness, grief and regret filled his body. He didn't know how much you were hurting inside, too wrapped up in his own head, forgetting the one he loved. Y/n took care of him although she herself was broken, beyond repair with the heartache she had suffered. Losing her older brother and parents to a death Eater attack wasn't easy on anyone. She smiled like nothing was wrong, it was as if everything was okay in her life, as if no pain filled her heart . Her smiling face plagued Harry's mind. They said time can heal, but that was a would that Harry doubted would ever heal.

Harry wished that there was something he could have said to her before she died and left him and all others behind, going to a happier and safer place, or so Harry liked to think. In his eyes, she deserved nothing but love and support. He wished he was more present in her life, wishing he could have done something to ease her pain.

He took another swig of the beer in his hand and closed his eyes. He thought that her death was worse than anything in the world, but in reality it was the idea that she died hurting inside, completely broken and with the thought that she was alone was what killed him more.

He walked to his room clumsily, not really drunk but a bit tipsy. He walked to his dressing table and removed a box  from the drawer. He lifted the lid and went through the contents. It was the last piece of y/n that he possessed. Having no kin left behind, she left all her belongings to Harry, Ron and Hermione.

In the box Harry pulled out a few letters addressed to him. He opened the first one and read it for the tenth time since he got it. It was dated 1994, their fourth year. As he read the contents, his mind flashed back to the day the incidents occured. He remembered it clear as day, the Yule ball. He was clumsy and didn't know how to dance, but with y/n as his date, how could he not have fun?

Dear Harry, I know I will never have the guts to send you this letter, but maybe one day you will get to read this.

Today you took me to the Yule ball, we went as friends, I guess we'll never be anything more than that. I guess that's ok though, atleast I can still be around you. Wait, that's creepy. But you get the picture right? I really like you Harry. I want nothing more than to be your girlfriend but I don't know if you even like me that way. Maybe I'll confess to you one day, who knows? You looked really good today Harry. In the green dress robes, they really bring out your eyes. We matched too! Mother sent me a dark green dress which I love. I hope I get to wear it soon. Hermione is calling me to sleep now, I will see you tomorrow Harry. Lots of love, Yours, Y/n.

Harry closed his eyes and a tear fell from his eyes onto the paper, blotting the ink. He missed the way you smiled when you read a good book, or danced along to sweet music, or how you convinced him to make a snow Angel when it snowed back in 5th year. The memories filled his mind, he didn't know if he was happy about it or if it was too painful to remember.

It was 4th year, the Yule ball was in a few days. Harry still had not got a date. There was only one girl he had eyes for but he was tok afraid to ask her. He saw multiple boys her out but she seemed to decline all of them. He gathered his gryffindor courage and walked up to y/n. "Hey, y/n do you wanna go to the ball with me?" She was about to reply when Harry's nerves kicked in and he quickly added, "as friends ofcourse." He noticed her face fall but he didn't think much of it. "Yes Harry, I'd love to." She smiled and walked to her next class. Harry stood there happy that she agreed but also internally slapping himself that he asked her as friends when he wanted more.

Harry then remembered the time her asked her out, it was their fifth year and y/n had stood up for him against the toad face umbridge. He had to resist the urge the urge to kiss her then and there during class.

Harry stopped y/n outside class. He grabbed her hand and pulled her aside. "Harry, what's up?" She asked him, cocking an eyebrow. "I actually have to ask you something."  She gestured for him to go on. "Willyougoonadatewithme?" Harry looked hopefully. "What did you say?" She looked confused. Harry took a deep breath. "Will you go on a date with me?" He repeated, slowly. "Yes." She grinned. "I have potions now, but I will catch you later." She kissed Harry's cheek and left. Harry watched her retreating figure with a smile on his face and his hand on the spot where she kissed him.

Harry was now lying on the bed rummaging through the box, finding y/n's belongings. His breath hitched when he found the pendant that he gave her in their sixth year for their one year anniversary. All their memories filled his mind and all he could think of was y/n's face, which in his opinion was the most beautiful face in the world.

He closed his eyes, dropping the box in the process. He bent down to pick up the contents when he saw a picture fall out of a book. It was a picture of him and y/n. He smiled at the sight of the picture. It was taken in their sixth year after he told her he loved her. He missed the old days when things were a bit better.

He opened the diary and flipped through the pages. It had notes on y/n's life, some random pictures here and there. Harry then reached the date may 25th 1997. It was the date she lost her whole family. He read the words written with blue ink. Each word on the paper was a gaping wound on his body issuing life blood.

I lost everything today. I don't know why I am writing this down but maybe it will help me cope. I can't break down now. I need to stay strong for Harry. For Ron and Hermione too. They're counting on me. I have to fight with my life against that horrid dark lord. I have to. To avenge the death of my family.

I can't be weak. Not now. I can deal with my own problems later on, after the war. I can't let my anxiety and insecurities take over my mind. Not now. Not now.

Once the war is over, things will get over. I know Harry can defeat him. I belive in him. He's so strong, faced so much loss at such a young age. I could never survive that much trauma. I admire his strength, I wish I was that strong. No point dwelling in my faults now, we have a war to win.

Harry shut the book, unable to read further. He didn't understand why y/n felt that way. She never showed it. He couldn't comprehend how someone so strong and brave could put themself down like that. She called him brave, when he was far from that. He kept lashing out, removing his anger on everyone. But she didn't do that, she didn't cry, kept everything inside for his sake. She was the strong one in the relationship not him.  Harry felt guilty  once again, like it was his fault. He felt he didn't do enough to help his love out of her cage of insecurity.

Harry wished he had done more, said more and stopped her hurting, or reduced it. He wished there was a way for him to reach her once and ask if he could have stopped her pain. He blamed himself for being distracted, leading her to let herself be taken instead.

Harry was dueling a death Eater, not paying attention to what was happening around him. Another death eater snuck behind up behind him and blasted the wall he was standing in front of. Y/n saw him and pushed Harry out of the way, taking the brunt of the falling bricks herself.

"No!" Harry cried, pushing the bricks away from her frail body. "No no no." He whispered. He finally freed her from the bricks and cracked her in his arms. A few tears rolled down his cheeks. "Don't cry Harry." This only made the tears fall faster. "I'm not worth your tears haz." She weakly reached up and wiped the tears off his dirty face. "Why?" Harry croaked. "You didn't have to die for me. I don't want you to die for me." He cried. "Oh Harry, I'd give my life a thousand times over to save yours. I'll love you forever and always. No matter what, I'll always watch over you."

"Don't leave me." Harry pressed a feverish kiss to y/n's lips, forehead, hair , cheeks. She was getting colder every minute. "I'll always be with you. In here." She placed her hand on his heart and smiled. Her hand become limp and dropped down. Her last breath of life taken. Harry freely cried over her dead body.

When voldemort called Harry to his death, he freely went, knowing it was right. He had to avenge the deaths of all those who were killed in the war. But a small part of him yearned to see y/n's smiling face again, and he hoped that he would see her again when he was no more. So he went, went with a brave face to the one he loved most.

Harry sat down on his bed, leaving the box aside. As he closed his eyes he wondered if there would have been a different outcome, a butterfly effect of sorts, if he hadn't been so closed off. If he let his walls down, been vulnerable around y/n, maybe she wouldn't have felt so alone and weak. If he let her in fully he could have let her know that he too was weak in a way, he too needed to let out his emotions. But it was too late now. She was gone and there was nothing Harry could do about it.

He drifted of to sleep, one thought lingered in his mind. If there was something he could have said to make it all stop hurting her. If he could have eased her mind before she went. It truly killed Harry how y/n's mind could make her feel so worthless.

But she was gone. There was a gaping hole in Harry's heart, one that could only be filled by love from y/n. But she was no more with him. He would never hear her voice again, never feel her touch, all that was left in him was guilt, regret and sadness and there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. *** A/n: I am so sorry for the angst, I hope I didn't break y'all too much;) I will be posting a new year fic tomorrow!

It's new years eve y'all! I hope you guys have a fantastic new year and here's to hoping 2021 is better than 2020!

#harry potter x reader #iliveiloveiwrite3.5k #harry potter angst #harry potter x you #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x reader angst

[theodorecanaryhood]

Broken wings

Jason Todd x gendre neutral reader

Red Hood, you Sparrow and your twin brother, Crow are teamed up for a fight. The fight gets too much and there's some sad stuff, then happy.

Warnings: swearing, injury

Red Hood had the mad men cornered, his rage was getting the better of him in good ways. He was doing great.

Sparrow, you, and your twin brother Crow were paired up taking out thugs the best way you knew how. Brutally.

'Hold this for me' you said to one thug as you handed him a smoke pellet and kicked him over a rail were he got smoked out, landing with a thud and grunt. Knocked out.

Crow was hitting hard and fast for a group of ass hats who decided to try and overpower him.

'Nice try' he growled as he wrecked the three men with his fists, punching and kicking hard. You helped him take out the last one by wrapping your legs around his neck and swinging him round to the ground.

'Show off' Crow said to you, you smiled. Red Hood had trouble, two more men bigger than him were approaching fast. Crow took out the left while you took the right.

'Thanks babe' Red Hood said to you as he smoked the thugs and kicked them to the ground.

'Enough' a thug shouted as he swung his leg and tripped Crow over, kicking Red Hood in the chest knocking wind out of him and grabbing you from behind.

'Sparrow' Crow said in a panic, the thug holding you pulled out his knife and held it to your neck.

'Move and she/he dies' he said, Red Hood and Crow stopped dead in their tracks, examining how they could get him off of you safely. 'Now that I have your attention' he said, you could tell what he was about to do. So could your twin.

'Y/b/n' you screamed as the thug spun round and pushed you over the rail, down atleast 15 feet to the hard ground.

'No' Crow shouted, Red Hood froze not being able to process what he had seen. Thinking he was imagining.

'You fucker' Crow roared as he ran towards the thug, stunning him with a blow to the groin, then stomach, then a knockout blow to the head.

...

Jason and y/b/n sat in the hospital waiting room, in civilian clothes waiting for the Doctor to come and tell them the news of your situation.

'I froze' Jason said, thinking out loud. Your brother looked at him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

'We both did, this isn't your fault Jason. Y/n is going to be ok' y/b/n spoke softly, running his other hand threw his h/c hair.

'Mr Todd, Mr y/l/n. They're out of theatre, they're sleeping. Everything looks great so far' the Doctor says as he approaches them slowly. Both men standing up.

'Can we see them?' Jason asks almost instantly, the Doctor smiles.

'Not yet, we need to keep them in for a few days' the Doctor pushed his glasses up with his pinky. Both men smile a little as they sit back down patiently waiting.

...

You woke up, sore all over which you could tell as you tried to move. You never slept on your back. Only on your side, face buried in Jason's chest.

That's when you thought, you don't remember going home, you don't remember anything after that man grabbed you. Oh shit, you thought.

'Hey, you're awake' y/b/n said as he grabbed a hold of your face with his cold hand. He smiled, but had a tear in his eye.

'Where am I?' You asked pulling the oxygen mask down, you looked around. 'Ugh great' you motioned as you took in the white walls and beeping sound next to you.

'Hey it's ok, you're going to be ok' your brother was more reassuring himself, he wouldn't cope well if he lost you. You two were always close, not just because you were twins. But because you were just, best friends too.

'Where's Jason?' You asked, your brother smiled and pointed to the occupied chair in the corner with a sleeping Jason. You chuckled.

'He hasn't left your side' he said, you put one hand on your brothers face and smiled.

'Neither have you, I can tell' you said softly, your brother just leant into your touch and breathed out.

'Don't ever scare me like that again ok?' Y/b/n said, you chuckled with a wince.

'I won't, that hurt'

Jason was in your eye line now, waking up to the sound of your voice. He started to well up as he saw your form, lying on the bed with wires and machines going.

'Hi Jason' you smiled,

'Hi Angel' he choked a little bit, your brother gave you two the room. Jason coming over and kissing you.

'Maybe I should end up in hospital more often if I get that greeting' you joked, Jason tapped your shoulder a little.

'No, scared the crap out of us y/n' Jason whispered as he buried his face in your neck. You played with his hair, Jason cried a little into your neck.

'What's wrong babe?' You asked softly, Jason looked at you.

'I love you, please don't ever leave me' he replied, you'd never seen him so emotional or scared before. You held his face in your hands.

'Never' you kissed him, Jason wiped his tears away and smiled.

He sat down next to you, your twin brother coming back in the room after while and sitting down too, on the other side of you.

'So, let's talk' your brother said with a grin as you both nodded.

You may have had broken wings for now, but your heart was always full.

#red hood #red hood fanfiction #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #gotham #jason todd #jason todd x male reader #jason todd x gender neutral reader #jason todd x oc

[dr4cking]

To my parents it’s not a big deal, but tysm. I know most blogs don’t allow venting or anything so really thank your for letting me ventThere is, my older sister, but she never helps, she never does anything. She’s asleep she didn’t even go to school and she gets praised. Like everyone else in this house gets recognition and praise but I don’t and I feel like I do the most. It may not seem like a big deal but it really is to me. I just got out of class so now I have time to go restroom and stuff. My parents don’t care for mental health or anything they just call everyone sensitive. I usually don’t cry for anything I usually use humor to cope but I really can’t hold it in anymore. None of my family has ever really seen me cry. My mom vents to me and stuff but one time I texted a helpline and they went through my phone and seen it, they got so mad at me they took my phone away so I’m not even allowed to talk about my feelings. I’m too young to be feeling these things, just because I look older and I’m more mature doesn’t mean you can put the job of a mother on me I just can’t do it. I’m struggling with school and all my parents care about are my good grades, they’re alright but not the best yet my sister has all F’s and they accept her more than me. It’s so difficult. I’m so sorry btw For typing a lot

it is a big deal esp when it affected you personally you shouldnt be forced into this theyre the one who responsible for their kids omg im literally crying rn you deserve better baby if no one has told you this but trust me im so proud of you you’re the strongest amazing person ever that is really a sad thing to do to their kids they shouldve appreciate you more your older sister shouldve done something atleast for her own siblings </3 its not your fault you did everything you could and its on them who cant see you and your struggle please get some rest and dont give up on looking for help, find a way to text the helpline it would help you a lot :((

#long post

[geekkatsblog]

Grey's Season 17x8 review

I'm kinda late but I haven't been sleeping lately so I finally managed to catch up with the episode today.

I'm still in shock from last weeks episode honestly but let's go. First I'm expressing my disappointment on the lack of Carina, she's a series regular on Grey's but all her scenes were on Station 19, I wish they would have brought Maya to Grey's just so I could feel good about seeing them cash in their regulars card. Then Deluca was laid to rest, another heart breaker seeing that they had just opened the realms of possibility for him and storylines but they just killed him off instead.

___________________________________________

Teddy

Teddy the biggest storyline at this point besides the funeral. At last we get to see what's really going on. Teddy hasn't been looking herself for a long time and it seems like Deluca's death was the breaking point for her, she was so scarred she didn't even want to wean Meredith off of the vent and when things are affecting your decisions as a doctor and not for the better, it's not a good sign. We'll get to see more of the storyline next week which honestly I'm excited to see. She managed to make me feel for her because despite everything she's done she's still the same old attachment barbie under there. I'm just glad Owen was able to put aside their differences and pick her up bridal side to take her home. The only thing I'm hoping is that it actually happens to be what the trailer was suggesting and not another Denny and Izzie situation because enough of the Grey Sloan doctors have had cancer and I'm definitely hoping that hey end the love triangle between her Owen and Tom or the better scenario in my opinion is let her get some space to breath and deal with healing without the pressures of relationship added to it.

___________________________________________

Meredith

Meredith honey, I'm gonna need you to take several feet away from Mc Dreamy, your kids and the hospital need you and you're getting a little too close to him for comfort. On that note I was once again glad to see Patrick Dempsey bless my screen as Derek Shepherd and it was as always a treat. When he talked about the kids, I'm so glad he knows about Ellis and they got to have several deep chats, so much so that I almost fell into the trap of wanting them to touch. She took a breath on her own which makes it seem as though she's improving but I don't want to get my hopes up and then have them trampled again like in the situation with Deluca waking up after surgery and then Meredith waking up only to end up on a vent in the same day.

___________________________________________

Bailey

I'm so glad that she's taking some time off. She's been running on empty since her mother died and she was beginning to remind me of the time with when she tested herself over and over again for staph with how obsessed she was about Deluca's autopsy, however with the amount of her fellow doctors she's lost its understandable plus Meredith the only one of her residents left is still on life support. If it wasn't for Richard she would have done some serious damage especially to Teddy who already was on edge. She definitely doesn't handle trauma well but besides Richard and Meredith she has experienced the most trauma. She's been through a lot and sometimes I think I tend to forget that.

And at least we got to see that small scene between her and Ben at the end so that was a plus.

___________________________________________

Richard

Is still holding up the walls of the hospital. It must be so hard for him to keep his faith with all he has been through, like I said before him, Meredith and Bailey have been through hell and back so I can definitely understand him feeling a little lost and losing his faith. However he didn't let that affect his keeping the Grey Sloan family together. I'm glad him and Catherine managed to make up because both of his support people are going through things of their own (Meredith and Bailey) so I was glads that she was able to be there for him and he didn't have to consider the thought of alchohol because that would just be too much at this point.

___________________________________________

Amelia and Link

Are doing really well right now as a couple, which scares me because whenever something seems to be going too well for a couple they throw a storm at them and I'm not ready to see their happy bubble burst just yet.

And Amelia has grown a lot her talking to Zola, she just said the right things. Mother hood as really changed her for the better. And does anyone else really want to see the letters that Zola wrote for Derek?

Link however felt the pressures of taking care of 4 kids constantly and I can understand I help out with my niece sometimes and by the end I want to pull my hair out and sleep in a corner for a week, farless 3 kids and a baby, I'm surprised he lasted so long.

Link headed to Jo's house in the middle of whatever agreement Jackson and Jo have going and got drunk. What I really liked about it though was that he went home afterwards and when he did Amelia didn't judge or yell she just talked to him and then hugged him which was amazing. They have a level of communication on the show that most of the other couples lack and it just works so well for them.

___________________________________________

Jo and Jackson

Jackson discovered just how much of a close friendship Link and Jo have and at some point he almost seemed as if he was jealous. Let the complications begin ladies and gentlemen. Plus there is the apparent potential of Dr Haynes turning it into a triangle. I guess one triangle dies to form another 🙄 and let's just say I'm not too excited for it.

Jo allowed herself to get drunk and vent which in my opinion was a step forward atleast. She hasn't really gotten the time to grieve over Alex because suddenly Covid happened and she was swamped with work. I'm just hoping that she does so that she won't accidentally sabotage any upcoming happiness she may have with someone else she needs to heal.

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Maggie and Winston

Poor Winston, he really doesn't know what he's signing up for by joining Grey Sloan does he 😭? Although I noticed last week he seemed to be getting the picture when Link was talking about Meredith and Derek. On the other hand seeing him with the kids was adorable, and he managed to give everyone some time to themselves without the kids which was a very big contribution. He's reminding me of a Ben which in no way is a bad thing. Go on Maggie get it.

Maggie was also devastated and shocked by Deluca as we all were and I'm so sad how their slowly but surely introducing her to the traumas of Grey's. She literally is the only pure one left and now she has to go through all the trials of the hospital until she's dark and twisty. I hope not though she's the only cheerful non broken one left on the show.

___________________________________________

Owen

Is about to have his hands full by next episode. He really is beginning to redeem himself after all Teddy did to him the whole episode he spent trying to make her feel better about Deluca and then picked her up to carry her home which confirmed my theory of it was always going to be Owen for Teddy, it was always Owen and Teddy even when she was married to ....... Henry 😭. I hope this will be the end of the over worked love triangle and they'll finally be able to move on especially Tom who deserves it.

___________________________________________

Haynes

Is utterly smitten with Meredith's children and was begging her to wake up and fight and surprise, surprise she took her first breath on her own. Honestly out of all the potential suitors for her which really isn't much considering one of them has now joined Derek as a permanent member of the beach, Haynes isn't a bad choice, I'm beginning to actually ship them. But then Krista said she was sensing a potential triangle with Jo, Jackson and Haynes and I hope not. I'm tired of the triangular pyramid of Grey Sloan love triangles. Just once I would like a relationship to be straight forward. They killed Deluca and the Teddy one is coming to an end, no need for another.

___________________________________________

Tom

Is still recovering from Covid and he seems to be going to live, a plus in the series so far.

___________________________________________

Levi and Nico

Are slowly getting closer, but I'm not rooting for anyone until Nico apologizes and they have an actual conversation about what happened without their clothes ending on the floor.

___________________________________________

Helm

Also was having a hard time coping and dealing with a bit of guilt about her over ambitious surgery hungry self. She actually reminds me of Cristina in a way, which is why I want Tom to be her teacher I really think their personalities will bounce well off of each other, especially in the episode where she had to check on Tom when he had Covid.

___________________________________________

Questions

• What's going on with Teddy? Owen said in the trailer he sees it in soldiers a lot but Grey's has a knack for reusing plots and her seeing Deluca is giving major Denny Izzie vibes, plus there's the chance that if it really is a brain tumor they'll pin all her recent choices on the tumor.

• Will someone tell Meredith they're are beaches in the real world as well, sure Derek won't be there and it probably wont be as peaceful but all I know is she needs to wake to hell up.

• What's going on between Jo and Jackson will they become more? Will they add Haynes to the mix?

• And most importantly when will Carina finally be seen in the Grey Sloan hospital? I need more Dr Carina.

#grey's anatomy #grey's spoilers #greys anatomy #grey s anatomy #greys season 17 #grey's abc #grey's season 17 #greys abc #andrew deluca #meredith grey #derek shepherd #jo wilson #atticus link #amelia shepherd #maggie pierce #miranda bailey #richard webber #tom koracick #owen hunt #teddy altman #levi schmitt #tv characters #favorite tv shows #tv shows #tv series #episode review #my opinion

[goodnightallwhites]

Globalized Fetish: BNWO By Skiddely

Globalized Fetish: BNWO 

By Skiddely 

Submitted: January 18, 2020 Updated: January 18, 2020 

The story nobody waited for. Stories about the BNWO. If you dont know what that means, dont read it. Seriously. Features a ton of interracial, black supremacy, BLACKED, etc. 

Provided by Hentai Foundry.  

Chapter 0 - Introduction 2 

Chapter 1 - A whitebois life 6 

Chapter 2 - Education in the BNWO 9 

Chapter 3 - Tattoos and their meaning 13 

0 - Introduction 

Thing have changed in the past few years. With the rise of CRISPR/Cas genetic modification of the human race has become commonplace, designer babies, the eye or hair colour, the sizes, Intelligence and even skin colour. Things went normal for a while, single mothers and white couples everywhere would get their perfect aryan children, most of them girls of course. With the rise of estrogen filled products most white males had gone the way of their women, becoming more girly both physical aswell as mentally, which made them more susceptible to their wives or girlfriends wishes. Back in the day, no virile man would ever WANT a daughter, but like I said, things changed. So now there’s a whole bunch of young aryan supergirls making their way into the world, the pussy economy has changed. For every male there’s about 10 girls, each smarter and better looking than the last. Even the parents that decided to go against the grain, that decided not to pursue the aryan standard of beauty, still have beautiful daughters. Red hair, brown hair, black hair, regardless of their race, they’d be the equivalent of supermodels back in the day. 

Things were good for men during those days. Or rather they would have been good, if there were still enough real men to enjoy these pleasures. The effects of soy products really changed the physiology of white men. Further and further they devolved, slowly turning more feminine with every impossible whopper consumed. Erectile disfunction, development of breasts, shifts in voice pitch and more feminine features made them diverge more and more from the beauty standard of the strong, tall intelligent loverboy. Things looked grim for a while as less and less white couples had children, with the women desperate for sexual relief and the men unable to provide it, usually preferring to be penetrated themselves, rather than to engage in sexual intercourse themselves. Already declining birthrates plummeted even further, up to a point where the original white race was heading for extinction quickly. The solution to these would be found in unexpected places. Due to purely socio-economic reasons, the urban population of America and Africa were exempt from the privilege of gene therapy and the damning results of soy products. In the beginning it was still a controversial topic, hushed voices in yoga class talking about their limpdicked white boyfriends while rumors about virile black men with large cocks made their way around. Before too long, the bravest white girls made their way into the ghetto’s of America, trying their best to find the cock they’re really craving. These adventurous few found exactly what they were looking for, well hung black men ready to ravage any hole that was presented to them. Savage and rough gang bang sessions were common for the first few girls, each of them getting fucked by a whole gang of black thugs, confined to their cribs until they were pregnant. This kind of relentless fucking which was akin to those of rabbits quickly gave these women a new nickname. The birth of snowbunnies is still celebrated as a holiday everywhere. 

Eventually most of these pregnant white women would make their way back to civilization, bringing with them news of the incredible mind blowing sex they found in the ghetto. What started slow, quickly turned into a mass exodus of white women. All of them flocking to the darkest parts of the country, leaving their faggy whiteboys alone at home. What came to no surprise to anyone was the fact that even the ghetto’s would be unable to supply enough black dick to these eager snowbunnies, leaving most of them unsatisfied simply because it was logistically not possible TO satisfy them. A solution had to be found. 

It was clear that black cock was the answer to their problems. Black men proved to be stronger, bigger and simply better lovers, their big black cocks being the only thing that would be able to satisfy a modern white woman. But what to do when there’s simply not enough cocks going around? A thinktank was established to find a solution to these problems. With several thousand snowbunnies already pregnant with black children it was clear that the next generation of black cock was already secure, but the bunnies wouldn’t be able to wait this long. The first attempt was atleast a partial success. The sex toy adapted to the new demands of single white girls by establishing the new norm for dildos, vibrators and other toys. Big black dildos became the biggest seller in the adult industry, each of them sporting a minimum length of 9’ making them as close to the real thing as possible. Bigger versions of black dick were also quite popular, with many white women permanently ruining their holes with these large toys, stretching themselves out to the max, limiting their pleasure to only their toys and the largest of black men out there. This shift in the industry served to atleast somewhat satisfy the demands of the snowbunnies out there. It didn’t do the same for the white “men” left out there however, as those few that still retained their ability to achieve and erection would find themselves unable to pleasure even the smallest of white girls out there. These dejected individuals had to cope with the fact that they were not desirable anymore. Many of them eventually found solace in the same toys as their women. Unable to achieve an erection, they usually resorted to anal stimulation in the vain attempt of spurting out their impotent cockjuice. At this point in time, same-race-sex or SRS had become an extreme rarity, most women starting to consider it to be a weird fetish reserved for the outcasts of society. 

While this change proved to be a good start, it wouldn’t be enough for most bunnies out there. They were naturally craving the real thing, which at this point was still considered to be somewhat of a rarity. This gave the porn industry a clever idea. If they cant go out and get the real thing, just give them the real thing back home. The already dwindling genre of SRS would quickly be replaced solely by interracial sex. White women serving black kings in high definition, sucking and fucking on camera for the entire world to see. BLACKED and BLACKEDRAW became names known to every household in the country. Big muscly black men using their fat uncut cocks to breed fertile white pussy would prove to be the most important media of the time, replacing even daytime TV with a ceaseless barrage of professionally made interracial porn. In many ways this new type of entertainment shaped the people, normalizing the worship of black men, creating a new religion of black cock. New shows would air to great acclaim, showing how to best please and keep your black master, displaying how to best rim black assholes, how to maximize the chances of pregnancy and how to properly emasculate your tiny dicked white friends. 

Of course this didn’t just change the life of white women. The minority of white boys would find themselves face to face with unending propaganda displaying their inferiority, aswell as the superiority of the black man. Their minds already closer to those of real women, they quickly accepted this truth for themselves. This however created a new problem, as feminine small dicked white boys would now also be on the hunt for real black cock. A real solution had to be found. And find one they did. All across the country the think tank established new centers for population control. Colloquially only known as “breeding centers”, these places would house thousands of white women interested in getting black bred. Any black man visiting these centers would be provided with as much fertile white pussy as they wanted, aswell as financial compensation for their time. To mark a snowbunny as a member of these high sought after centers, they were provided with a complementary tattoo. A black spade with a centralized Q would mark them as a Queen of Spades, a woman who had dedicated her life to black men. 

These breeding centers proved to be highly effective. More and more white women would find themselves impregnated with a black baby and through the power of gene manipulation, they would find themselves with the highest certainty that their children would be even bigger and stronger than their black fathers. A new generation of big black cock was in the making. Each impregnated woman would receive a spade womb tattoo, signifying to their peers that she did her part. These tattoos would end up being one of the greatest cultural heritages of the times, but we’ll come to that. 

With a new generation of black Kings ready to pop out, the think tank found themselves cornered with a new problem. They would run out of snowbunnies before too long. As it turns out, black seed has such strength and potency, that it was nearly impossible, even with advanced gene therapy, to create more white babies. This was a great problem, seeing as how the few white men still around had become cock sucking sissies worshipping black cock. Once again a solution had to be found. And they did, as ugly as it was, they did find a solution. It was an ugly solution of course, but to get the bunnies, you first have to extract the snow. It was hard to find still find white boys with proper swimmers in those days. Most of them had accepted their inferiority and surrendered to black cock like their women did. Their already reduced sperm count further diminished by their limp dicks, they proved to be useless for anything other than being a cocksleeve for a black master. It took quite some time, but eventually a few whiteboys were found that could still supply the sperm needed to continue the white race. Now it was without question that no snowbunny should ever be forced to actually have sex with their small white weenies, which meant other ways of extraction had to be found. Luckily the experience gained by the breeding centers would prove to be beneficial in solving this problem. 

In these new breeding centers, the white boys were restrained similar to livestock. They were raised, fed and cleaned by their handlers, snowbunnies specifically selected for this task based on their motherly demeaner and simultaneous disdain for their own race. Initially, the whiteboys were milked for their semen by hand, their keepers using their delicate fingers to milk it from their prostate gland. Of course no white woman was ever forced to touch a tiny white dicklet, it would’ve been too insulting, even with properly insulated gloves. However this meant that the slow and methodical milking of the prostate was the only way to gain the whiteboy sperm. With time passed, each milkmaid found their own way to accelerate the process, whether its by stimulating the nipples, stimulating the penis through the urethra with a steel sounding device, or even just by stimulating his insides by inserting her entire arm into his butt, each maid got more efficient by the day. 

All in all it was still a slow process, but the continuous existence of the snowbunnies was guaranteed through the sacrifices of the milkmaids. A special tattoo was created, the spade with a single sperm in the middle signifies their dedication and sacrifice for their black masters. Of course these genuine milkmaids are quite rare nowadays. With the advent of new milking technology the profession lost its necessity for the most part. Of course modern day breeding centers are somewhat different. Restrained whiteboys are now being automatically milked without additional human help. The automatic pistoning prostate stimulator isn’t quite as delicate as a womans fingers, but it does the job and so does the extra small penis suction cup, designed to slurp up all watery semen squirted out by the restrained whiteboys. Anyways, like I said, the problems that were presented had been solved. With snowbunnies supplying an endless supply of superior black men and whiteboys supplying the snowbunnies to serve them, society has changed. 

The balance of power has changed. The time has come for a new world order. A Black New World Order. 

1 - A whitebois life 

The life of a whiteboy is dictated by their black masters and their snowbunny whores. With new laws in place, a whiteboys life has changed considerably. For one, the display of white penises without good reason is considered to be a crime. Furthermore it’s a criminal offense for a white boy to walk around without their tiny cock in chastity and their butthole plugged. The basic role of every whiteboy is to be a servant Afterall. This includes serving their owners during sex, filming it, prepping her black master and cleaning both of them up after they’re done. Lets just take a quick moment to try and immerse ourselves in the life of a whiteboy. As you wake up in the morning, your first thought will be about black cock, the same thing you thought about before going to bed and the same thing you dreamt about as you were sleeping. With your tiny clit locked in a cage, an orgasm is out of the question of course, but you still dream about it. The buttplug stretching your once tight asshole reminds you of a possible black cock as your reward for good work, so you quickly put on your uniform, the miniskirt, kneesocks and shirt that designate you as a sissy whiteboy slave. Your beta of spades tattoo is always visible of course, just as the law dictates. With that done, you make your way to their bedroom just in time, you have to make sure that he begins his day with a good morning blowjob afterall. It took quite some time, but after enough training and painful stretching of your jaw, you finally managed to properly take his whole cockhead into your mouth. Of course that’s still nothing compared to a true snowbunny slut, but it’s a start! 

As you slowly get him hard with your wet, slimy mouth, your mistress begins to wake up, rubbing her pussy to the sight of your head bobbing up and down on his cock. Of course a black king wouldn’t just be satisfied with that, both of you know. With one hand still on her slit, she quickly crawls behind him, ready to give herself an early morning tongue workout. First she plants kisses all around the rim of his asshole, one wet sloppy kiss after the other until she’s circled all round it twice, leaving smears of lipstick all over his ass. It doesn’t take long for him to get even harder with her tongue slowly starting to penetrate his asshole, past the his sphincter, deeper and deeper inside. Round and round her tongue goes, coating the inside of his asshole with her spit. Rubbing herself to her first orgasm of the day, she quickly switches positions with you, forcing your face under his ass as she begins to give his balls a tonguebath. With both his asshole, cock and balls covered in shiny spitlube, she’s ready to properly serve him. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he throws her on her back, spreading her legs apart. His fat black cock looks way too big to ever fit inside of her, but he obviously doesn’t care. As an alpha male, her pussy is his to take. And so he does. In one smooth stroke he forces his entire length and girth into her tight white slit, her eyes rolling in the back of her head as a low guttery moan escapes her throat. As he picks up his speed, you can only try to hold onto him as you slither your tongue as deep as possible into his black ass. With your lips you create an airtight seal around his dark asshole, desperately running your tongue around inside of his rectum, hoping to be a good little whiteboi to your black master. But neither of them really pay any attention to you. You might aswell not exist in their world, neither one of them wasting a single thought on you as they have the raw animalistic sex you’ll never get to experience. All you get is the taste of his ass and the sound of his fat black cock ravaging her tight white pussy. His BBC invading her insides, roughly forcing its way deep inside of her, knocking on her cervix over and over again. With each thrust she gets tighter, gripping his cock with her vaginal walls as it pulls out. 

His big dark hands move from her waist up her body, one gripping the blonde ponytail she always rocks when she goes to sleep, the other gripping tightly around her throat. With her hair as his reins he rides her, pulling her head back, arching her back., each of his thrusts creating a bulge of his fat black cock imprinted on her lithe stomach. Her air begins to run out, hypoxia further amplifying the pleasure of his cock dividing her pussy, ramming it deep inside of her over and over again, claiming her entire being as his own. A powerful orgasm rolls over her, her brain sending electricity through her body, confusing its need for air with the pleasure of his cock. Her entire body tenses, pussy clenching down even harder on his cock, forcing him to use even more force to pull back while her walls are latching onto him. Brain shattering orgasm after orgasm rolls over her until her she goes limp, her body giving out from the lack of blood entering her brain. Another few thrusts into her unconscious body do the trick and his thick nigger seed paints her entire womb, once again proving him to be the master over her body and soul. His hips buck again and again, making it hard to keep latched onto his asshole, but as a veteran sissy of spades you keep a firm hold onto his asshole with your mouth. Having done his duty, he lets go of her throat. As blood rushes back into her brain she regains consciousness, completely cockdrunk from his meaty black member. With her out of order it falls to you to clean his cum and her juices of his BBC. Reluctantly detaching your mouth from his asshole you turn your attention towards his cock again. Finally you get your real reward. You decide to indulge yourself a little and start with his fat salty nuts, still glistening with her spit. You circle both of them with your tongue, before taking each one into your mouth individually, bathing them in the warmth of your mouth and once again giving it a deep tongue cleaning. You take a deep breath through your nose, really taking in the musky smell of his cock and balls. The kind of manly smell that makes snowbunnies wet and little sissy whiteboys drool with their mouth and clitty cocks. 

With his balls properly serviced you run your tongue along the length of his shaft to get the pure taste of their combined juices. You swirls them around in your mouth, your own spit mixed with hers, his cum and her pussy juices, all of them combining to create a divine taste in your mouth any sissy would kill for. Satisfied with the taste you gulp the slimy mix down. Again you take his cock into your mouth, bobing up and down on it to make sure you get it clean as well as you possibly can. With your vacuum like mouth you cheekily suck on his urethra, getting another reward as you suck out the few remains of his semen out of his pisshole. Cleaned good and proper, he leaves for the shower, leaving the both of you behind in bed. Her pussy is now oozing cum and you have to do everything in your power to keep yourself from sucking it out of her used gaping pussy. Sure, cleaning up her creampies is your job, but they’re aiming for another black baby in the moment! You have to make sure that as much semen stays in her pussy as possible, the strongest swimmer has to make it in the end, the strongest obviously being the seed for a strong black male baby and you cant just let a little detail like him pulling out lower the chances of her being bred properly. Quickly you scoop up as much leaking semen and shove it back in her gaping hole. You take another one of those adhesive tapes designed to properly seal her pussy and seal it up completely, leaving no way for the semen to escape. You decide its best to let her sleep out her cockdrunk high. Getting back to your room to change into your slutty maid uniform. Its time for your daily chores after all. Once again you thank your black masters for letting you be a house sissy and not one of those white workslaves they keep locked away, not even getting to see a single white woman get black in their entire lives! 

The thought of such horrifying imagery spurns you on as you clean the house, prepare breakfast, stretch your anus some more so it might one day fit his cock and buy some groceries. 

2 - Education in the BNWO 

Education in the New World is of huge importance. Not only does it teach science, philosophy, music and art to the people, it also teaches them the natural order and responsibility of Black Masters, Snowbunnies and white betas. Early on in life is when the future of every person is decided. Trough the magic of gene therapy, the average IQ has seen a dramatic increase, with each generation already being more intelligent than the one before. Due to this, essentially any person alive today is much too intelligent to actually do unskilled, blue collar work, which raises the question of who exactly is going to be responsible for the work no one wants to do, but still has to be done? Well the answer is fairly simple and didn’t take the thinktank very long to answer. White betas would be required to do the heavy lifting in society. Being the shrimp dick impotent losers they are, they’re required to keep society running, while their black masters are busy breeding fertile, young, white pussy to ensure the survival of humanity. Where limpdick whitebois provide the labour, black kings provide the BBC to keep the country afloat. However there’s still more work to be done. How do you decide which whitebois scrub toilets, clean the streets and your car, which betas go into higher education to make sure snowbunny wombs stay fertile, PAWG pussy stays wet and who pays for the orphanages of white babies? And how do you decide which lucky sissy gets to live the dream life of servicing their black king and white mistress? 

All of these questions are answered in school, through the usage of the new curriculum introduced to enforce the rules of our new society. To make life easier, a caste system was introduced into every school, a system which carries over to the rest of the country. For one, we have the Black men. In school, just like in real life, each black man is a King in his own right. They make up the fewest students, but also make up the highest caste in the system. A Black King gets to essentially do whatever he wants. They’re allowed to come and go as they please, if they wanted to, they wouldn’t have to attend at all, as school is not compulsory for the upper caste. Furthermore they’re allowed to take whatever they want, whenever they want. Members of the lower castes, snowbunnies in training, teachers and at the very bottom of the caste, the beta sissies, are all subject to the BLACK caste. No white cattle is allowed to ever deny the orders of a black king unless it were to interfere with the interest of another member of the highest caste. Aside from that however, anything goes, which means its not unusual to walk into a classroom where a teaching PAWG tries to explain the anatomy and inherent superior of black cock to a class that is mostly busy pleasing their masters, two white bitches sucking black testicles, warming them up, cleaning them with their tongues, while another worships the fat anaconda infront of her face, choking herself on it until her mascara runs down her face and his cum completely coats her, truly enjoying the blessed facial of black semen painting her pale face. Usually at least one other whore, be they sissy or bunny, is busying themselves with an enthusiastic rimjob, tongue slobbering all over his black ass, tongue trying to stimulate his prostate for his amusement. 

With 4-5 black men in one class, this could mean that there’s simply no one left to pay attention to the lesson. This brings us to the next caste, which strictly speaking, cant be counted towards the student caste. The teachers in the new education system are usually the most experienced PAWGs. The ones that have 

taken more black dick than anyone, who have chosen to preach the gospel of BBC to the new generation. These beautiful snowbunnies are quite often pregnant with another black baby, or are simply recovering from another one of countless pregnancies, but already eager for another black bun in the oven. Like I mentioned before, despite being teacherbunnies, they are still subject to the whims of their superiors, which makes a live demonstration of advanced spitroasting a common occurrence in modern schools. In fact, most of the curriculum was taken over by sex education or biology, but that’s something we’ll get into a bit later. The next caste are the future snowbunnies, the snowbunnies in training. All fertile white girls fall into this category. It is the responsibility of every school and every teacher to make sure to instill the values of our new society into these impressionable young minds. All apprentice snowbunnies are taught about the inherent superior of black men and their big black cocks, their superior sperm count and impregnation rates of almost 100%, all the while contrasting these lessons with pictures of small uncaged white weenies. Any snowbunny must come to understand and revile a tiny white cock and that “white masculinity” an oxymoron in truth, was natures mistake. They will eventually come to understand that their tiny clitties aren’t real cocks, that they are simply snowbunnies stuck in the wrong body, destined to serve them and their black gods. School is also where they receive their first tattoos, a black vine without leaves around their throat, running down their arm or down their thigh. As anyone knows, this is an indicator of how many black men they have had sex with, with the receiving of their first leaf indicating their progress into adulthood. To facilitate their position above the white sissies, they are also given a certain degree of freedom in terms of clothing. White a black satin choker with a Queen of Spades pendant is mandatory for all females, they are free to choose from numerous different outfits, ranging from thongs and see-through panties to a fancy garterbelt combination. They are allowed to wear short shorts, boyshorts, miniskirts, revealing dresses and tanktops leaving their belly free to be seen. All this freedom is of course provided to ensure that they are as attractive as possible for their black superiors. 

Last, and most certainly least, are the betas of spades, the sissies, the beta whitebois. These unfortunate creatures are further separated into three castes. Like I said earlier, we have the working class that is further divided into blue and white collar work. These unlucky ones are the worst and best the academy has to offer from a scientific point of view. While the dumbest of them go into menial labor, slaving away with their only reprise being free interracial pornography and access to black dildos, the smartest go into leadership positions, they become scientists and doctors. These are slightly more lucky, being allowed the freedom to watch livestreams of real white women getting BLACKED. Truly the most unfortunate would be the blue collared slaves that have to work around snowbunnies however. Even with their chastity cages on permanently, one can not guarantee the safety of a snowbunny when she is around one of these beta males. Being weak and sissified losers, they’re hardly a threat, but the trauma of being touched by a whiteboi who isn’t their personal creampie cleaning maid? That’s something that no snowbunny should have to experience. Which is why these unfortunates have to be treated differently than the others. Before they are allowed to take up their work for the first time, they’ll be castrated by a qualified nurse or other healthcare provider, all of them being white women who simply want to make the world a better, a safer place. That leaves us with the last third of them. During their entire scholastic career, the whitebois have to take numerous exams, both written aswell as oral. That you can take quite literally, as these exams are atleast partially about how good they are at giving head, eating pussy, rimming black assholes, etc. Only those whitebois that achieve the highest grades at these exams and show the highest affinity for subservience and servitude get to become actual house servants, maids and sissies of spades. Caste wise these would rank below a snowbunny, but above the other whitebois. Truly these are the most 

lucky and usually happiest of whitebois, as they get to experience their white goddess being black bred live and they may even participate in their savage love making by prepping her black master or licking both of them clean of their juices after the act. Now that we got that out of the way, you might ask yourself just what exactly do they actually teach at these schools? 

Well like I said before, there are extensive lessons on biology, especially human sexual physiology. The first lesson any white bitches need to learn is the anatomy of their bull, since only those that understand the anatomy will be able to please them properly. During these early anatomy lessons they go in-depth on why exactly the BBC is able to please tight white pussies, it explains the superiority of the uncut veiny black penis, the intoxicating smell of their fat black nuts and the pheromones excreted, especially when a white nose is nestled deeply in his nutsack between his testicles. Of course they also go in-depth on the superior length and girth of the black monster penis which is able to stretch out any small bitch pussy while reaching all the pleasurable spots in a snowbunnies vagina. Due to these black kings being uncircumcised, they also teach them to properly clean underneath his foreskin with their tongues, an ability which any white whore needs to learn quickly to survive and please in this new world. Once they understood that the BBC is considered the gold standard, they’d of course have to learn what they could compare it to. This lessons is the most uncomfortable for any white girl, as they now have to see pictures of tiny white penises to understand their inherent inferiority. Of course the teachers use this occasion to provide live examples on these comparisons, putting up black students against white betas and comparing their length and girth. In the case of black students, the teachers prep them with their mouth, getting them wet and fully erect, spit glistening on their massive lengths. The whiteboi on the other hand only gets to receive a handjob between thumb and index finger. For this uncomfortable and quite disgusting procedure, the teacher of course resorts to using thick black latex gloves. With both of them erect, the teacher measures their lengths, elaborating on the inferiority of the small white penis and explaining why such a little shrimp would never be able to satisfy any woman. 

The following lessons on anatomy would be about Semen. During these lessons, the teachers would explain what makes black cum so superior, talking about the viscosity, consistency and sheer volume of semen produced by black men, while comparing it to the tiny watery load of impotent swimmers a white boy could still produce. Taste testing during these lessons is of course a mandatory experience for snowbunnies and betas so they better understand the delicious smell, taste and thick consistency of black cum. These lessons usually end with the teacher displaying her amazing ability of swallowing multiple loads of black seed collected on scene from her students. The last set of the early anatomy lessons are of course about black breeding. Of course it is always up to the black man to decide when and where he cums, however these lessons should instill upon these students the importance of getting their white pussies bred by black cum, especially when they’re ovulating. In depth the teacher goes on about the relationship of miss uterus and mister BBC who gets to knock Miss uterus’ cervix over and over until his semen thugs come in, bend her over and rape the fuck out of her precious tiny egg cells until miss uterus is left with a black baby. To drive this point home, these lessons are usually presented by an already heavily pregnant teacher, just so the snowbunnies know what they could look forward to (and the sissies know what they’re missing). 

With the basics of anatomy out of the way, the time comes to put theory into practice. At this point, the class gets split, with the black guys and snowbunnies getting the chance to try black breeding themselves in specially prepared breeding rooms, stocked with everything they would ever need for a 24/7 fuck sessions, while the whitebois are left in the classroom. This time is used to introduce the 

concept of chastity cages to these betas. Using specially made metal instruments, the penis length and girth, aswell as the thickness of the urethra of every bitchboi is measured. Of course the teachers are wearing protective gear during these lessons, so none of them accidentally come into contact with one of these whitebois filthy shrimpdicks. With the measurements completed, the cages are prepared individually for each whiteboys. These are usually the same cages they wear till the day they die. Due to the integrated urethral plugs, these cages are impossible to be removed, unless the person has the proper key. Once each whiteboi is equipped with the proper cage, they are then forced to begin their grueling anal training, each of them having to start stretching their buttholes with progressively sized buttplugs. This training would continue for their entire school time. 

These would be the most important lessons for the students. Of course there are other topics to be talked about, for example the existence of melanin receptors in a snowbunnies vagina, created using gene therapy as a means to keep even the most deviant of women from debasing herself enough to actually think about having sex with a whiteboi. Or tattoo class, where the significance of each different tattoo is elaborated upon. 

But these are topics for another time. 

3 - Tattoos and their meaning 

Back in the day, when interracial relationships were, for the most part, just deep dark fantasies lodged in the heads of every white girl out there. Only few of them ever got to experience the undeniable, raw sexual power of a big black cock, with most white girls being oppressed by their white fathers, brothers and husbands, all of them desperately trying to keep them from finding out the truth. 

BBC is just better. 

But like I said, every story has its heroes. Brave women that stood up against the dictatorship of limp dicked whitebois, unable to please any snowbunny with their inferior shrimpdicks. Naturally these fighters for sexual freedom would find themselves being bred by superior black men. Having experienced the mind blowing, gut rearranging, orgasmic power of black dick, these women would dedicate themselves wholy to the cause of teaching the world the pleasures of nigger cocks. To ensure that black kings could recognize these women with one glance, they created a symbol that acted as an identification for their lovers and a shield from whitebois. The black spade with a centered Q became a symbol of their resistance. In the form of a tattoo they were applied to an easily viewable area, such as the neck, ankle, collar bone or in the most daring and rebellious of them, the face. Some of these newly dubbed “Queens of Spades” opted instead for temporary tattoos, for the times where they were on the prowl for another BBC to suck of black asshole rim. At any other time they could simply remove these tattoos, blending into the white society, ready to stealthily convert many more women and girls to the amazing cause of black superiority. These brave young women paved the way for the tattoo code enacted and elaborated on in the last decade. 

Taking inspiration from these women, our great thinktank invented the standardized tattoo code we all know today. First was of course the classic “Queen of Spades” design which has hardly seen any change in its design in the last few years. This classic is usually the second tattoo a white girl receives, only predated by the black vines, and denotes their coming of age, completely leaving behind any shred of a life not dedicate do servicing black cock. A different variation of this classic is applied to sissy whitebois who have dedicated themselves to pleasuring their black masters. The “sissy” or “beta of spades” tattoo is a declaration of their surrender before superior BBC. But lets get back to the start, not historically speaking, but rather the start of any white girls career as a black cocksleeve. The first tattoo they receive is of course the classic black vine without leaves. This tattoo is usually applied to the upper arm, thigh, throat, over their chest, around their breast or navel, anywhere really. Truly a versatile mark. In the beginning the vine is completely bare, that is until a woman gets penetrated by BBC for the first time. For each black cock taken, anally or vaginally, another leave on the vine is added. Its important to note here, that each leaf means a different partner. Multiple relations with the same partner does not add more leaves to the vine. This of course encourages the spirit of competition, each girl fighting the other to be THE superior snowbunny. Of course for most white women this sort of competitive spirit is dampened when they find the right partner, or partners, however there are plenty women out there adding new leaves each day. In some cases this leads to tattoos so elaborate, that the white skin underneath can hardly be seen anymore, covered by all the fat black cock she has taken in her life. 

Moving on. You probably already wondered what exactly a snowbunny is. Well some people consider it just another word for your average white woman, drunk on black cock, mother to several black children and pregnant with another one. But you’d be mistaken. A snowbunny used to be something a bit more special. What sets a snowbunny apart from any other white woman is their sexual appetite and ferocity. Where a regular woman would be content to be ravaged once or twice a day, a snowbunny needs more. These nymphomaniacs are completely addicted to nigger cock, craving it every second of the day. Their minds are completely focused on getting black bred, constantly thinking of the next gang of black thugs that can rearrange her guts with their massive slabs of dark meat. Essentially, these are the elite version of the average white woman. Or at least they used to be. Nowadays with gene therapy and artificially inflated sexual hunger, its rarer to find a woman that doesn’t qualify to be a real snowbunny. Back in the day the snowbunny tattoo, the regular black spade with a cute bunny in the middle, used to be a sign of respect. Or at least a great lay for black kings. Nowadays most women qualify for this tattoo and quite a few of them do get it, even if it doesn’t have the same societal influence as it once had. 

Now black ownership comes in many different forms. In a sense, all white women in modern society are black owned as designated by the law, but also of their own volition. Because which white bitch could ever resist the temptation of 20 inches of dark chocolate? Semantics aside, black ownership is a definetly a thing as you know. What used to be called “marriage” back in the day is now black ownership. And what better way to celebrate than the beautiful gift of a new black tattoo on pale white skin? Black ownership tattoos come in many different shapes and sizes, they might just be the most versatile of all government mandated tattoos. Some people prefer the clinical nature of the Barcode and spade combination, allowing any law enforcement to instantly trace a snowbunny back to her owner. A little less subtle would be the various forms of writing, varying from block lettered “BLACK MALE PROPERTY” to what essentially amounts to hand drawn scribbles indicating that they are “BLACK OWNED”. 

Another classic would be the queen of spades womb tattoo. They come in all shapes and sizes, some making its way across the whole abdomen, one more intricate in its design than the other, others are small, simple and could be mistaken for a landing strip of pubic hair if one doesn’t take a closer look. Of course you know what these mean. All women that have birthed atleast one black baby are entitled to a womb tattoo, proving their loyalty and dedication to continuing the black race. Another variant of this tattoo is the snowbunny womb tattoo. This one indicates that the woman in possession has graced the world with one or more white daughters, continuing the inevitable cycle of black gods ravaging fertile white pussy. 

As you know, there’s plenty more tattoo designs out there, both official aswell as unofficial. Take the “multiple black masculinity symbols penetrating a single white femininity symbol” tattoo. I know it’s a bit of a mouthful, but as far as I know these don’t actually have an official name. They’re proof of a womans dedication to pleasing multiple black kings at the same time. Two symbols indicating a threesome, three a foursome and so on. Frequent participants in gang bangs tend to have tattoos completely surrounding their fragile femininity with throbbing black arrows. The I <3 blackboys usually go out to snowmilfs or teachers that prefer younger black men, while the “Say No to White Boys” tattoos are basically just fashion statements at this point. Sure they might’ve been relevant at some point in time, back when people actually still debased themselves to letting shrimpdicked beta cucks flop around ontop of them, but thankfully these times are long gone. 

I’m sure there are a few I forgot, but I do believe these should be the origin and meaning of the most important ones. 

#bbc #story #interracial

[scarletwinterxx]

Timeless pt. 2.5 - Doyoung AU

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART TWO.5 || PART THREE || PART FOUR || PART FIVE || PART SIX || FINALE

“Son and Daughter of Business Magnates engaged to be married: Son of chairman of Kim Industries and current COO: Kim Doyoung and the daughter of the current chairman of Lee Tradings Corp was announced to be engaged and soon to be married.”

Those were the words flashing on the screen of Doyoung’s phone, he wasn’t told the announcement was going to be made today. He already knows Y/N wasn’t made aware either.

It was only the start of his day but he already wanted it to be done, it seems like even his personal life is being dictated by other people. He can’t even make this choice himself. 

As he made his way to his office, some of his colleagues were quick to tell congratulations on the engagement. He offered them a polite smile and a quick thank you. When he got his office, he crashed on his chair with his fingers massaging his temple. 

He can’t help but feel stressed and overwhelmed about everything that’s going on. Yes, he’s been engaged to Y/N for two years now, But with the news revealed to the rest of the world, it’s finally hitting him. 

This is his reality now. 

Doyoung doesn’t have it in him to be mad at Y/N. It’s not her fault that they’re now in this situation. He did mean his words when he told Y/N it wouldn’t be too bad to spend the rest of his life with his bestfriend. 

Bestfriend.

He admits he has not been a good friend to her since they were told about the engagement. He just felt robbed of the chance to have a normal shot at falling in love. Even that was decided for him. 

He also felt sorry towards Y/N, it’s not like he’s the only one who was robbed of that chance. She was too. And here she was trying her best to be the best for him. 

With these thoughts floating around his mind, he did what he does best when he’s stressed: burying his self with work. It’s his coping mechanism. Finding other things to focus on instead of driving his self mad with constant worry. 

That’s how the day passed, Doyoung went through one report after another. He didn’t even notice lunch time was done if his phone didn’t ring. 

Incoming call: Kim Sejeong

That was the name currently flashing on the screen of his phone. Taking a deep breath, he took the phone up to his ear

“Hello?”

“Doyoung-ssi? Are you busy right now?” Sejeong’s voice ever so gentle

“I’m still at the office, why? Do you need something?” he asked

“I just heard the news, I didn’t know you guys were going through with it” she almost sounded disappointed. Probably with me, Doyoung thought.

“You knew we were already engaged, Sejeong-ah. Is this what you wanted to talk about?” this time Doyoung stood up and walked towards the window, gazing out into the city below him

“I just thought I’d atleast hear it from you first”

“Sejeong-”

“I know, Doyoung-ssi. I know and it’s okay. I just wanted to hear your voice. Take care” with that she ended the call. It was the last straw for this very long day. 

Doyoung quickly told his secretary he’s going home early but he didn’t drive to that direction. Instead he went to someone he knew could take all of his worries away. No one can do that except for this one person. 

He haven’t been back to his old alma mater since he graduated. It was good to go back and visit after a while, he still remembers the hallways and rooms he used to take his classes. 

It was a Monday, he knew Y/N had a few classes for the day. He decided to have a look around before giving her a call. 

It didn’t take long, he was just about to take a turn when he heard someone calling out his name

“Doyoung? What are you doing here?”

He turned around to face Y/N, already feeling more at ease. He probably didn’t look like it though since he can see the worry in Y/N’s eyes. She didn’t have to say it but he can read her like a book,

“Came here to get you, Your class wasn’t finished yet so I decided to have a look around. Nothing much has changed here” He said while looking around the hallway.

“You just graduated last year” she told him with a small smile. The pair made their way to Doyoung’s car, a few looks being thrown their way.

“My guess is you already heard the news” she told him, he can see her fiddle with the ring on her finger. The ring that’s about to seal their future together. 

“First thing that welcomed me when I got to the office, where were you?” he asked

“Joy literally ran to me screaming about it” she answered with a chuckle

 “Did they tell you they were going to make an announcement?” 

Doyoung just shook his head, he was right when he thought that Y/N wasn’t made aware of the announcement either. 

“Where are we going anyways?” Y/N asked him, looking over at him with wonder mixed with worry in her eyes

“Just somewhere, are you hungry?” he asked, his eyes focused on the road. 

“We can grab dinner, if you want” she suggested to which Doyoung agreed to. 

The rest of the ride they were both silent, he felt more at ease. But he can feel Y/N’s stare at him, she probably wanted to ask so many questions. 

When they got to the ramen place, they took a seat then ordered

“So what’s this little surprise trip for?” Y/N asked Doyoung. For a while he just stared at the menu, genuinely thinking of an answer.

“Just wanted to get out of the city for awhile”

“You okay? Something bothering you?”

“More like what isn’t bothering me nowadays” he mumbled, he didn’t mean to sound grumpy but it was the truth

“If it’s work related, try and not to think about it after you’ve left the office” Y/N said, he looked up at me with one brow raised. She had this determined look on her face, one she always has when she’s nagging him or telling him off.

“There should be a good work and life balance, just like how you try not to bring your issues at home to the office then shouldn’t be the same way around?”

“I can’t just stop worrying about it” he answered, now the thoughts were back on the front side of his brain. A frown making  it’s way on his face

“Well try atleast when you’re back at your place, if you don’t then you’re just stressing yourself more. Wouldn’t be better for you and more effective if you can get some rest at home” she reasoned out

“I’m relaxing right now”

“You don’t look one bit relaxed, Doie. Don’t try and pretend when you’re with me, it’s not going to work” He haven’t heard her call him by that nickname in a while. It was cute, she used to call him that alot when they were kids. Tugging on the ends of his shirt with her little hands and looking up at him with her doe eyes.

Y/N leaned across the table, running her thumb on the space between his brows as if to wipe the frown away. 

“You’re going to get wrinkles if you keep frowning like that” she says, now he’s just staring straight at her

“You haven’t called me that in a while” Doyoung told the girl with a smile on his face

“Huh?”

“Doie” this time he looked up at his fiance, she suddenly looked flustered and couldn’t make eye contact.

“You used to call me that a lot when we were kids” he held her hands in his, finding comfort in the way their hands fit together. The ring on full display, a constant reminder of their current status.

“I still call you that, it’s still your name on my phone” Y/N answered, 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“I’m trying to decide whether we should really just runaway” he told her, she looked surprised with his answer

“Don’t be ridiculous. Where would we go anyways? My backyard? I don’t have a backyard anymore” this statement made him laugh out loud. Knowing exactly what she’s talking about.

“This time we won’t have to go home, we can stay out as long as we want, go wherever we want” Doyoung answered

“We should decided on a date, for the wedding I mean. If we don’t, our parents might decide for us like they did today” he added, their parents would probably decided on the date if they don’t do it now

“Can it be some time around fall?”Y/N asked

“If you want. Sounds good and I know you hate hot weather” he agreed, the girl shooting him a smile

“That wasn’t so hard, should we plan the whole thing?” 

“I’ll have to see my schedule, see if I could squeeze you in” he jokingly answered

“Yah, this is your wedding too. Make time for your future wife”

“I’ll give you an hour to present, how about that?” he liked they can have these kinds of conversation. It did put Doyoung’s more at ease. When he’s with Y/N, it feels like he could breath a bit better.

“That’s all the time you can give me? I might have to re-think this marriage Mr. Kim” she asked with a scowl on, he knew she was just kidding

“An hour and another dinner date, how about that?” 

He didn’t get an immediate answer, Y/N looking down at the food on the table

“Is this how it’s going be? you bargaining with me? You know you always do that” she mumbles, probably referring to all the times he bargained his lunch for hers when they were kids. But he only did that because he knew she didn’t like her food, he would catch her looking over at his lunch box with a small pout on her cute face. 

He didn’t want to seem like he cared that much, they were kids and he thought he would be made fun of if other people knew about his true feelings. So instead he bargained his lunch with hers. 

“You always say yes to me, so it’s not really my fault” he said with a smile, one that only shows up when it’s her he’s talking to. 

If it was up to the two of them, he still would have asked Y/N to be a part of his life. Maybe a marriage somewhere along the way. She’s the one constant thing in Doyoung’s life that didn’t drain him, the only person that does not ask anything from him and make his decisions for him. 

What Y/N didn’t know is that Doyoung was made aware about her true feelings towards him. For now that’s a secret only him, Joy and Y/N. It’s just that the girl sitting across him doesn’t remember it. 

#kim doyoung #doyoung #nct #nct 127 #nct u #doyoung imagine #doyoung scenario #doyoung fluff #doyoung au #nct imagine #nct scenario #nct fluff #nct au #nct 127 scenario #nct 127 imagine #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 au #doyoung boyfriend #nct marriage au

[luminarii]

I need fellow Autistics opinion on something, if you're willing to share your thoughts about it.

I have a younger brother (24 years old) who just got diagnosed with Autism. I myself got diagnosed with Autism when I was 22 years old (I'm now 28), and I have another younger brother (27) who got the diagnosis when he was 18. We have two other siblings, but they're neurotypical.

My 24 year old brother's name starts with an 'N', and my 27 year old brother's name starts with an 'S', so I'll call them that for short. Me and S both have many of the "stereotypical" Autism traits, and while S has been showing his Autism since his infancy, I didn't show any signs of Autism until I was about 5 or 6 years old. But now that we're "adults", we both need to live in assisted homes for Autistic adults.

Now, I told you N had recently gotten his own Autism diagnosis as well, but he doesn't show ANY signs of Autism at ALL, and never has. Me, S and our mother (neurotypical) all agree that while he has some difficulties, he is very non-Autistic in many ways. I can give you a list of his difficulties/advantages/past diagnoses: !!!WARNING!!!: SOME OF THIS INFORMATION CAN BE TRIGGERING AND VERY VIOLENT FOR SOME READERS. THOSE POINTS WILL BE MARKED WITH A (!TW!) SIGN.

- He has always been excellent at making friends as, atleast when he was a kid and teenager, was talkative, adventurous, confident, and knows how to read people's face/body/emotions. The last one is still true today. - He still has the majority of his childhood friends to this day. - He was never teased, bullied or otherwise wronged in school as a kid, and was actually one of the more popular kids as he was pretty 'normal'. ('normal' as in he very rarely did anything 'peculiar' or 'weird' that others didn't understand) - As he is the youngest of 5 children, he was the most spoiled of me and our siblings, and could sometimes lose his temper if he didn't get what he wanted, when he wanted it. I know that that can also be an Autism trait, but I am literally 100% sure he was like that simply because he was spoiled by our parents. - He learned everything at the appropriate ages: talking, walking, playing with other kids, sharing toys/other objects, reading, counting, telling time, tying his own shoes, and the list goes on, while me and S learned all of those things much later than the 'norm'. - Even to this day, N is very in tune with other people's emotions, and can easily put himself in other peoples' shoes. He has always been like that, and even as a child, was very good at cheering up others and calming people down if needed. - Our parents separated when I was five years old, back in 1998/1999. Our father got a new girlfriend, let's name her 'D', and D was the one who spoiled N rotten from when he was only 1 year old, and to some extent still spoils him to this day. Ever since our parents separation, D has been more of a 'mother' to N than our maternal mother, since D came into our lives when N was basically still a baby, and has been spoiled by her since day one, basically. Our father died in 2012, and our mother mother died this March, 2020. - As I have already said, N is still very spoiled today, even though he's 24, and can lose his temper quickly if he doesn't get what he wants, when he wants it. When he was a child and teenager, he just got angry and/or sad when he didn't get his way. Now, as an adult, he gets violent when he doesn't get his way. - N has been seeing several psychiatrists over the years, and even been admitted to psychiatric hospitals, sometimes on his own accord, sometimes forced. There, he's gotten a few diagnoses, such as: acute psychosis, Tourrette's Syndrome, and ADHD. I think he got another one, but I don't remember which one. But not even a month ago, 'Autism' was added to his list of diagnoses. - (!TW!) As an adult, whenever he wasn't admitted to a psychiatric hospital/institution, he started to wreck havoc whenever he didn't get his way, and in the most brutal of ways. He has hit and kicked people, even women, almost completely destroyed our stepmother's, D, entire house; the only thing that was intact was the kitchen and bathroom. He even destroyed all the windows in her house, and (presumably, according to D) kicked her cat. - (!TW!) He has admitted to physically abuse D's old dog by kicking her, punching her head with a brick in his hand, and I hope with every part of my soul that I am wrong on this, but I have a feeling he has also sexually abused the dog. - (!TW!) He has killed multiple animals; D's pet bunny, a newborn kitten, and an aquarium full of fish (about 8-10 fish). None of the animals were his own, not that it makes a difference. - (!TW!) This summer, our neurotypical brother ('A') and N were playing a video game on their computers while talking over the phone. N lost to A, and N lost his temper. N threatened to not just kill A and his girlfriend, but to kill A's girlfriend's entire family, cutting off A's skin and using it as a costume to 'start a new and better life'. A understandably has cut off contact to N since. - N is also still doing semi-harmful things to people on almost a daily basis, including, but not limited to: spitting on/after people at the psychiatric hospital, yelling and screaming at them, threatening them, and other forms of verbal abuse.

There are two reasons I'm making this post. 1; N is not Autistic. He has problems, yes, and they're escalating quickly, but he is not Autistic. He has never acted Autistic in any way, and no matter how many 'professionals' give him the Autism diagnosis, I refuse to believe it. 2; the psychiatric hospital he's currently admitted to are planning to send him to an assisted home for Autistic adults, like the ones me and our brother S are living in. This could prove to be extremely dangerous for the personel working there as well as the other residents, especially the latter as we Autistic people won't be able to cope with someone as extreme as N.

I am asking for as many (Actually Autistic people only!!!) people as possible to tell me your take on this. I know that each individual Autistic person is different, and that we all share a lot of the same difficulties and advantages, but are still completely different from eachother in many ways. But N is not Autistic, and again, no amount of 'professional' NT diagnostics doctors can convince me otherwise. What I need is opinions, preferably as many as possible, from other Autistic people like myself.

N is a danger to himself and others, but he is my brother and I love him with all my heart, and I just want to see him get better. But people are about to send him off to a home he doesn't belong, with people that won't be able to handle him. Please, send me your thoughts on this; you might be able to help me being able to help my brother.

#not astrology #autism #autistic #actually autistic #wrong diagnosis #wrong autism diagnosis #I'm desperate #I need your help

[pisceserena]

The End (Part 2)

Part 1 here

A/N: So this is posted a bit late-r than I planned. But here is part 1 anyway! This is quite long, and I hope you take the time to read it. Thank you guys so much for reading my fics! 

wordcount: 1,779

AndromacheTheScythianxReader

No one knows how long it’s been since Andy and (Name) have actually interacted. The two have resulted to going back to how they were before. Cold, and with walls greater than the Great Wall of China. The two only speaking when needed, they are still a team after all. 

Behind the strong facade (Name) puts up, is a person who is broken inside. Only letting herself go in the comfort of her bedroom or her bathroom. After countless nights of tears, and the discomfort of not being able breathe well due to their nose getting clogged, they’ve decided getting over someone won’t be possible if they’ll always see Andy. Not to mention the fact that being with her in missions results to her losing focus. No matter what happened between them, they wanted her alive...for as long as possible, even if it won’t be with them. It was the day after that (Name) has decided they was done breaking down, Quyhn will live a long life, and Andy would be there till her last breath. They should move on. And distance is needed if they wanted it fast. It was the day after that, they decided to go on missions on their own. They could take care of themself. They didn’t need anyone.

“I want work alone Copley.” Not all for it at the start, but after a few persuading and the “Not like there’s much that can be done with me, I can’t die” line from (Name), he eventually gave in. When the team asked about it, all Copley saud was that it was they wanted and that his hands were tied. In his defense, (Name) could be scarily persuasive if they wanted to be. 

“Copley wants to see you in his office.” The sound of the throwing knife hitting the bullseye echoes in the room. “Are you working on missions alone?” Joe inquires, concern etched on his face. Taking a deep breath, (Name) throws the knife, not bothering to look at the target. “ I figured it would be best to be as detached as possible.” Not knowing what to say, Joe lets them walk past him, seeing the knife they nonchalantly threw at the target embedded on the bulls-eye. They were strong, but so broken inside, everyone sees that, Andy just chooses to turn a blind eye. She was with Quyhn, and wasn’t it (Name) that broke up with her? She hasn’t realized herself that she was in denial.

Quyhn at first was clueless, she didn’t know what was going on, why there was tension and why the two acted the way they did. It took a few days, but she was finally able to pick up on what was going on. She didn’t mean to intervene. She didn’t want to be the cause the two didn’t end up together. When she confronted Andy, she’d always brush it off. Saying that they were broken up, and it was just a short thing.

“This is your mission-” Copley starts, handing her a file and and ipad with a satellite map pinned. “that warehouse, in the outskirts of London, just a few miles from here, is where 3 daughters of a very important person is being kept hostage.” Their brows furrowed. What is it with men always targeting women? They looked through the file. Seems pretty easy. “You just need to take out the men, and get the girls to the car that will wait for them outside the facility gates.” They nod in understanding. “How many men?” Copley stares at them handing over the keys that they’ll use to drive themself to the location. He decided that in order to keep the warrior’s profile lowkey and what they were were doing a secret, (Name) couldn’t be the one to take the 3 girls back to their homes, hence the separate car with a clueless driver. 

He zooms in on the satellite map and points out the possible entries and exits. “There are 2 guards at a bird’s eye view that you need to take out before the 2 infront of the facility’s main gate. Otherwise, the rest will be alarmed and you’ll be out numbered-” 

“Because being outnumbered can really do me some damage” They roll their eyes before sarcastically gasping “what if I get killed?” They joke chuckling to themself. Unimpressed, Copley sits down and rests his hand together on his desk. “There’s 3 in the 2 entrance and exit points of the warehouse. Once you get in, there will be 6 surrounding the girls.” He finishes “Should be easy enough” They say standing up, Copley following suite. “Get what you need and load up. Not that you’ll think of it as much but, Goodluck, and come back safe”

Grabbing a DLQ33, (Name) tests to see if the the scope was clear and in good condition. “Need some help with that?” Nicolo’s voice loud that she could hear, but soft that it does not echo in the room. “I got it” They reply continue to move around putting the weapons she needed in bags, strapping herself with her throwing knives and such. It was silent for awhile, Nicolo watched as the broken warrior attached an extended mag to their AK117 “You don’t have to do this alone caro” his pet name made them pause. Oh how they missed the team. But as quickly as it came, it was pushed back just as fast. “I can do this Nicky” They reply adding the stock for penetration and the red dot sight for better aim. Grabbing more bullets, and stuffing it in the bag, they stop to turn to Nicky. “I just need to let all of these feelings go Nick.This is the only effective way of me releasing all the bad thoughts and negative emotions. Let me cope...please” Their voice getting soft, pleading towards the end. Silence once again embraces them. Their eye contact breaking when (Name) zips up the bag and hauls it over their shoulder. They take one last look at Nicky before proceeding to head upstairs towards the garage. 

“(Name)? You dropped this” Nile says handing to them the car keys. “Thanks” they reply walking faster and towards the car. “I can help you (Name) atleast take me with you” smiling and ruffling Nile’s hair, “I’ll see you when I get back champ” they smile reassuringly and unlock the car. 

“Need some help?” Booker asks, being the one to load up the car. “You’re going against 17 men (Name)” His words not bothering them as they open the driver’s side and start the engine. Rolling down the window, (Name) smiles at Booker. “Don’t worry, I can handle it.” That was the last thing Booker heard before they drove out of the garage.

The phone connected to the car starts to ring. Not bothering to look at the caller, they still gotta drive safe, they press the answer button. “New updates?” 

“Be careful. I want you alive more than you think” Andromache says before the call ends, not giving (Name) any chance to speak. This wasn’t the first mission they went on alone. What was up? Shaking it off, they focused instead on what lies ahead. The sun has just set, and night was falling upon them. Perfect.

Eyes sharp, their AK117 in hand, they enter the warehouse. How incompetent is the police, this door is waaay too easy to breakdown. Taking a deep breath, they knock the door down with a strong, hard kick. Bullets were flying, their knife, hitting another man’s chest. The screams of the girls adding to the noise pollution. Everything was going well until (Name) decided that the girls needed cover, pushing a table over they lead them to hide behind it. What they didn’t notice, was a man getting up and grabbing them from behind, locking their arms. Before they got to break free, another man got a hold of their knife, and without hesitating, plunges it into her side. Crying out in pain, and finally being able to break free, they tackle the man and stab him in the head. His blood, splashing on their face. Another pain ran through their body, and they realized that they’ve been shot. Having enough, they throw the knife, hitting the right spots, killing them instantly. 

Silence followed. It was creepy, and at the same time comforting. Taking a step towards the girls, pain shot through their side. The stab wound didn’t stop bleeding. Their brows furrowed. Inspecting the gunshot wound, they see that it’s not clotting. Imposible. Brushing it off, maybe they weren’t healing as fast. Quickly gathering the girls and taking them to the car infront, they leave safely. As promised. 

Getting into their own car as well, the pain becomes unbearable. This is impossible. “I’ve got to get back to Copley” they mutter thinking quickly. Driving was difficult, and their vision was starting to blur. The pin was agonizing. The car seats were covered in red, as well as every possible thing that could be used to cover their wounds. Perhaps they didn’t realize it, but there were cuts littered all over, their body, and the gun shot wound giving her a difficult time breathing. Damn those guards really got me. Was their last thought. Before they passed out, Andy’s blurred figure came into view. “Hey, I made it”

As soon as they all heard their car stop outside, they jumped to their feet to greet them. The team speechless at the sight before them. Andy was the first to reach them, just as they were about to pass out. “They’re not healing” Booker states. “They’ve lost too much blood.” Nile adds seeing the fatal wounds on their body.

Copley didn’t know how to tell the team. He himself was devastated. So, when he looked up from the mini recovery room in the safehouse, they all knew. Some went into shock, like Quyhn and Nile. This was Nile’s first tie losing someone who’s become like family to her since she joined...she didn’t know how to take it. She was devastated and angry and sad. She should have gone with them. 

Nicky had his head in his hands, in denial about the news, Joe trying to reach him, trying to be strong for his significant other, but deep inside, he was crushed. They’ve lost a best friend. 

Booker lost a drinking buddy, a laughing partner. They’re memories played in his head, and as the news sunk in, he collapsed into a nearby chair. 

Tears fell from Andy’s eyes, her body frozen “I never got to tell them how much they actually mean to me...how much I wanted them back.”

#the old guard #the old guard 2020 #netflix #andy #quyhn #nicky and joe #booker #nile freeman #andromache the scythian #sebastian le livre #nicolo di genova #yusuf al kaysani #imagines #theoldguardimagines #reader #writer #pisceserenawrites