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#but the fact that they say different things when I’m no longer as energetic or helpful
pixlokita · 7 months
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Family: you should really stop taking medication prescribed for your mental health/sleep it’s not good for you.
Me: -stops it because i can’t afford it anymore and it’s affecting me so much I get physically sick-
Family: you really shouldn’t have stopped those :\ what are you thinking ?
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whotfletamothhyperfx · 2 months
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“Sonic?” The hedgehog's attention was drawn down at the breathless scared voice, a voice that sounded way too young to be the same confident energetic kid that he knew. Tails always sounded and acted old for his age. So to hear the opposite was almost unsettling in a way.
“Yeah bud?” Sonic asked softly, gently stroking the tufts of fur on tails head backwards over and over, it was something the boy always seemed to enjoy. In the days where they first met and tails finally let sonic touch him he’d just sit there with the toddler in his arms gently petting him.
Sonic would give anything to be back there right now.
“I’m scared” the small voice interrupted him with, tails was in sonic's arms, looking way tinier than he had ever done. His baby blue eyes staring up as sonic filled with tears as he practically begged sonic silently to not leave.
They had been fighting when a floor caved in. Tails hadn’t flown back up, they had just assumed he would have been fine. Tails had gotten them out of so many sticky situations before how could he not have gotten himself out of this one?
Sonic wished he had jumped in after straight away.
It had been twelve minutes since the boy had been under rubble until sonic finally came. One of his legs was completely crushed, trapped by metal looking up at the sky waiting for someone to come down and get him but no one did for what felt like an eternity.
The thought brought bile to Sonic's throat at the idea of the terror and hopelessness the boy must have felt when they hadn’t instantly come to collect him. Like he had done for them so many times before.
God why hadn’t sonic just looked.
Maybe if he had looked he would have seen the fact tails leg was practically flattened, how bars of metal stuck into his shoulder and hand pinning him to the floor looking up at the light coming through the hole.
He saw that no one came to get him
“I know.. shh I know” sonic shushed gently, patting the boy's head more soothingly hoping to whatever God that he hadn’t yet killed that the boy could last a little longer. It had been a simple mission, no one had brung the emergency kit.
But it was too late now. They didn’t have a clue how to get him unpinned, how to get what felt like one hundred feet tall metal bars out of him, they didn’t know how they were going to move him with his leg practically off. If they had just checked on him to begin with they would have had time. But they didn’t. Sonic tried not to throw up.
“Am I gonna die?” Tails asked bluntly, staring up at sonic as the older desperately tried to shade the boy from the light seeping through the ceiling. Tails usually got his traits from sonic. Everyone knew it. The bluntness was a group effort however, all of them are like it and eventually it must have rubbed off on him.
Sonic squeezed his eyes shut looking up at the collapsed hole begging that he would just see one person racing down. One other person to help him get tails out, or at least someone to help the kid calm down “No never you can’t die when your with me remember I’m sonic the hedgehog”
Sonic stopped for a second, he didn’t know if he was saying this for tails benefit or his own anymore. Tails had always been surprisingly calm about the idea of dying. It was something he had accepted long before ever meeting sonic. The hedgehog however? He couldn’t let that happen. Tails has so much to do, so much to see. “You’re not gonna die.”
They both hated the silence that follows
“Promise?” His voice sounded even younger than it did before sonic had met him.
“Promise won’t die..”Tails begged letting out a small hiccup as he was slurring his words as well. His pupils were starting to become different shapes as well. One blown wide and the other no bigger than a pin prick. Part of Sonic knew it was inevitable.
Tails wasn’t going to have the long happy life sonic had dreamed for him, he would never see tails grow into his own person, see his brother do the incredible things he was destined too. No. His brother was not going to live a hero’s life. Tails was going to die a slow painful death all because they assumed he would fly himself out.
And when he didn't, none of them had looked, he had been so fine on his own before that it hadn’t occurred for them to check just this one. Just this once battle and he would be fine on his own.
He could do it.
They believed in him.
“You won’t die. You can’t you’ve got so much to live for; so many achievements to get and I’m gonna be right next to you cheering you on every time” sonic whispered because he needed to see it. Sonic couldn’t live with himself if tails wasn’t right beside him living as well. He needed to see what his brother would do. Who he would become. They just had to get out this hole.
An agonising silence took over again, the only thing to hear was tails ragged and trouble breathing mixed with the gentle taps of water dripping down into the hole.
“I’m cold”
tails was getting worse by the second, the pool of blood that covered the ground stained sonics knees as he tried desperately to give his brother some warmth any kind of warmth
“I know”
Sonic just needed to keep him awake, to keep him talking, Tails could have all the blankets he wanted when they got home. Sonic would heat up as much warm food, give him as many hugs and tuck him in as many times as he wanted to keep him warm just so long as he stayed awake
“I wanna go home”
How long has it been since Sonic stayed over? He went out on a few weeks long adventure, he was due to come home today but they stopped at the mission beforehand. Why hadn’t sonic just come home earlier?
“I know..”
Why hadn’t sonic just come home from his stupid adventure. It hadn’t been the same without tails anyway, why couldn’t he have just come home early. He could have had so much more time with tails if he did so.
“If I die.. will you knuckles and Amy and everyone.. will you be ok?” Tails asked his voice raspy, his eyes barely able to keep open as he stared up a sonic, drooping open and shut as the pupils changed in size, the pool of blood getting bigger as tails sobbe through his words.
“I dunno..” Sonic muttered not knowing how to calm him down. Sonic had never been good with the whole comforting people thing, but he knew tails needed it, tails needed to stay calm and hang on for just a few more minutes. “me and knucklehead would probably fight a lot more without you there to be the voice of reason”
The hand that wasn’t pinned with a metal rod sticking through was stroking sonics hand with his thumb, Tails was trying everything to keep himself awake but it was getting so hard. “I’d feel bad knowing that I wouldn’t be there to build the machines and stuff anymore that would be annoying for you all.”
“That wouldn’t be what we would be focusing on kiddo..” Sonic said with a laugh, his little brother was always so focused on what he could do for other people that he never seemed to realise that they just loved him for him. Sonic needs to tell him that more. Sonic just needed tails to hang on a little longer. He’d get him out and then he’d remind tails everyday. “Bud there’s never going to be anything more important than you”
“There will be more important things.” Tails whispered his thumb stopping stroking, he didn’t have the energy to do anything but lay there and try to keep breathing. Sonic couldn’t care less just as long as he kept that one thing up. that’s all sonic could ever ask for.
“Not to me.. never to me.” Sonic said honestly because there never would be. Nothing could be more important to sonic than tails. His other half, his baby brother. That kid was going to grow up. He had too. Sonic wouldn’t know if he could live without tails. He just couldn’t.
Now that tails was in his life sonic could never have him leave it
“I’m tired..” the boy whispered gently, his vision going blurry as he tried desperately to keep his vision focused onto sonic, but his eyes kept getting drawn away to the light seeping through the hole's entrance.
Has it always been that bright?
“Just a little longer and they’ll find us ok?” Tails wasn’t looking at sonic anymore, instead looking at something just behind sonic, his breaths nearly completely halted as he stared with half shut eyes at something behind sonic. A wave of happiness filled the hedgehog as he assumed it was someone coming to help his little brother however looking behind him there was…no one.
He looked back at tails confused only to see the boys eyes softly shut, his chest no longer rising and falling.
“Tails?” Sonic softly asked softly shaking him, not to hard, his brother was hurt he didn’t want put him in pain he just needed tails to wake up.
He needed him to wake up.
“Hey buddy open your eyes c'mon buddy” Sonic put two fingers on the boy's neck, He felt the boy's pulse disperse underneath his fingers. He couldn’t do anything but stare at his baby brother in his arms.
Not his baby brother.
His baby brother's corpse.
That’s when the sounds of rummaging came from above as knuckles and Amy piled in with the emergency kit screaming and asking if tails was ok. Sonic couldn’t do anything for a second. He just stared at them before looking down at the lifeless body
And sonic screamed for any fucking god who could hear.
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script-a-world · 10 months
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Submitted via Google Form: Follow Up on Gravity
So, this was my question I sent earlier: Tumblr Link / Wordpress Link I meant looks similar to earth as in, if you were there or in orbit (directly looking at the planet and not paying any attention to stars nearby etc), you would not notice that it is in fact, not earth. It has population that looks like earth people, the plants and animals look like they are earth species. Everything else people do, etc. You won't find curious or strange materials or plants and animals that don't exist on earth. The biggest problem with gravity is, how much difference can I make it and still have everything look like same except when an actual measurement of gravity or someone with keen senses, they'd notice a difference in gravity.
Tex: If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, there’s a good chance it’s a duck.
People who are used to sea level will often complain of different pressure if they visit a mountain, and people who go from a steppe to a temperate forest will notice a difference in humidity. You can likely get away with a few millibars difference in pressure and your off-planet characters will likely take note of the differences.
Wootzel: I’m struggling to find much in the way of actual data on what difference in gravity would be noticed, but my instinct is that it depends on the situation in which your characters encounter the difference. 
Consider this: When you’re in an elevator, you briefly experience a different g-force as you go up or down, but only as the elevator is accelerating. Once the elevator reaches its traveling speed, you no longer feel lighter or heavier. My attempt to search up what that g-force actually is didn’t go anywhere fast, but I did find this video (and transcript) of someone on youtube doing an experiment with a bag of flour and a kitchen scale to show the difference. It seems like in this particular elevator, the difference is only around 10% in each direction as the elevator speeds up and slows down. How that feels on one’s body isn’t exactly dramatic, but it’s noticeable! 
This is where the difference of situation is important. If your character teleported subtly from Real Earth to your Different Earth, say as they walked through a doorframe, they might suddenly feel heavier or lighter with 10% difference in gravity. Whether your character would figure this out or write it off as a weird sensation is up to you. 
On the other hand, if the character woke up on this Different Earth and had no immediate frame of reference, 10% gravity might not be something they notice immediately… but they’d feel something of the difference as they go about their day. 10% higher gravity would make them feel exhausted much more quickly and make their heart work harder. They’d probably feel as though they’re weak today. Getting up would be slightly harder, and so would lifting things. 10% is a big difference in how it would change the experience. If they were to wake up in Different Earth with 10% lower gravity, your character would probably feel light and energetic. A perceptive person might notice this feels weird, but since it wouldn’t create struggle, most people probably wouldn’t really think about it. I think the same experience could reasonably apply to someone coming in from space. Without the immediate comparison from what Real Earth feels like, a smallish change shouldn’t be easy to discern unless someone is really used to what hanging out in different gravity feels like. 
Please note that the 10% difference I’m throwing around as “noticeable but not dramatic” is a guess. It’s also a high guess, as I think you’d probably start seeing some of the experiences described above at less variation, and it’s possible that 10% WOULD start to feel like a dramatic difference much more quickly than I anticipate. 
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labyrithian · 1 year
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Hi! I found you via the puppy blues tag and I wanted to see how you’re going with it, especially since I’m now in exactly the same boat. Can you tell me what helped you get through the blues and how Maize is going now? It’s only been 3 days for me but I am struggling and I think it’s starting to worry my family. If you don’t want to talk about it, please just let me know and I wish you the best x
Hi, I will gladly and happily tell you that I have finally passed my puppy blues! It’s been a long time since my last bout of puppy blues. I think it lasted mostly the first 3 months. The worst was the first few weeks to a month, where it seemed to be a near constant feeling. After that, the feelings seemed to come and go until finally it just stop coming all together. I think it really comes down to just needing to adjust to the fact that your life is different now. It’s not like with cats who come and go throughout the day for your attention. Dogs are a lot more demanding, and I think there’s a reason people always joke about getting a dog before having a baby. It’ll be hard, but just try to be patient with yourself. Remember to let the puppy nap in their crate/pen area to give yourself some time to yourself now and then. I think what it really comes down to is needing to adjust to a new schedule and lifestyle. Life won’t be the same, but, given time and adjustment, it can be so much more rewarding.
Also remember to let them sleep on your lap here and there, even if you’re not feeling quite like doing it. I say this because I regret not taking more time to just rest with her back then. She’s very active, so, when she slept, I always tried to ignore that she was there at the time. I regret it now, because she was only a baby once, and I feel like I missed out on some bonding while I was too steeped in my own misery.
She needed so much time, so much attention, that I felt exhausted and trapped by her. It no longer feel this way, though I do occasionally still get annoyed at just how much attention she needs from me. That feeling is easily fixed by putting her in the ‘safe room’. Basically, a room for her to play in for a bit that has nothing she could easily eat or hurt herself with. Either that, or having a family member take her for a bit so I can get some alone time.
Maize is a year old now and no longer needs such a strict routine. She potty trained and bow knows how to be alone for a bit without freaking out. It helps to have other pets if you have them. I still live with family, so Maize hangs out with my sister’s dog and my cat. Yes, my biggest fear of her and Piper (my cat) not getting along were ultimately unfounded. Piper gets annoyed with Maize’s over exuberance, but also cuddles and bathes her and plays with her so that’s great. The only one who she doesn’t get along with is our senior cat, but they hardly ever cross paths anyway.
Okay, long story short, it gets better. Power through the overwhelming feelings by using routine and taking time for yourself here and there. Remember to bathe and eat and brush your teeth. Also, do yourself a huge favor and stay on top of training her. All of it: potty training, manner’s around others, manners around the house, etc. It will make things much better once you see them growing into a dog that will fit well into your life and not peeing all over the house.
Maize is good on potty training and handling people outside the house…not so much when people are at our house or when energetic kids are around. Not the best, but not horrible for me, as I don’t really enjoy having others around my home anyway.
Good luck! Remember that, once you finally get through this funk, you may find yourself loving this dog much more than you could have ever imagined. Also, no, your dog doesn’t hate you now because of this phase. (Once the puppy blues started winding down for me I felt like I ruined our bond for awhile. It wasn’t true, Maize still loves me most even if Nona gives her more treats :D)
Sorry if any of this seems jumbled or all over the place, I’m writing this from my phone, haha.
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boonesfarmsangria · 2 years
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He took to the stage sober – and decided to rethink his rock’n’roll life
Taking to the stage sober has been a revelatory experience for Foals’ guitarist Jimmy Smith.
Mid-tour, from Santiago de Compostela in northwest Spain, he says he’s reassessed his relationship to the rock star lifestyle, avoiding the boozing, smoking and revelry … with exceptions.
“I’m basically done with partying every day, that’s the difference. I’ll wait for a good party then I’ll really go for it. The trouble with partying every day is that you just get so tired and so jaded, really quickly. I started hating absolutely everything – I was like ‘oh god, we’ve got to play a show’ … but that’s the reason you’re here! It just gets perverted and horrible, so it’s nice to put that in the rear-view mirror.”
There’s a romantic resignation in the lyrics of the British rock band’s seventh album Life is Yours, typified by the line on 2AM: “all my life I’ve been looking for a light/ that I can’t reignite again”.
That song is a homage to the wicked time zone between polite partying and self-destructive, habitual cycles, a precarious zone that each of the band members has navigated in their own way – lead singer and guitarist Yannis Philippakis most publicly, along with drummer Jack Bevan and guitarist Jimmy Smith.
“We’re all in our mid-30s now, and we can’t bounce back the way we used to,” Smith admits. “When I was locked down on my own in London [in 2021], I made a decision to have no alcohol in the house. I started feeling really good, and I didn’t want to feel bad again … The relationship with alcohol and performing is a rocky road. I have a rule that the first show [in each city], the most nerve-racking show, I’ll do sober and, in fact, I’m doing basically every show sober.”
Life is Yours is a tightly syncopated, disco-tinged rallying call to the dance floor. It’s a departure from Foals’ glib, glum 2019 albums Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost – Part 1 and Part 2, though the beautifully melancholic latter was their first album to top the UK album chart. The new album feels like the glamorous sister to their energetic 2006 debut Antidotes. Since then, the departure of founders and bandmates Walter Gervers in 2018 and Edwin Congreave in 2021 honed them to a tightly-knit trio. Did Smith question whether he’d stay?
“Yeah, definitely,” he concedes with a laugh. “I ask myself that every day. It was OK in a sense, because the three of us that are left are the core three, musically speaking, so we knew the music wasn’t under any sort of threat … it’s just sad. You spend every single day with these people and Walter is my best friend. I went to school with him. I used to say it was my absolute worst nightmare if he decided to leave the band, then he said, ‘I’m leaving’.”
In 2011, just before the band headed to Australia to record demos, they lived and worked together like a family – but circumstances have changed with maturity.
“It’s important to allow yourself more space, certainly the older you get and the longer you do this,” says Smith. “I’ve realised it’s important to not be around people all the time, and post pandemic I’m finding that fairly exhausting. I love my bandmates to bits, they’re like my brothers, but my god, can they be annoying … the family thing is still true though, we’re getting closer and closer, really.”
That closeness has translated into joyful, triumphantly hopeful music. The upbeat party vibe is also thanks to the pop-rock veteran producers the band worked with, including Dan Carey (Tame Impala, Fontaines D.C.) and John Hill (Florence + the Machine).
There is a sense of having moved on from Foals’ stage show antics, replete with Philippakis’ proclivity for diving into crowds, climbing onto speakers and getting into brawls with security.
At Glastonbury last weekend, the lead singer promised the crowd a “f---ing mad one”. But their music reflects the glow after the madness: as the track Looking High suggests, “I’ve already skipped the town/ I’ve packed my bags/ I’ve found new ground
SMH.au || Interview || Cat Woods
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jungkxook · 3 years
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—backseat serenade. (m)
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⟶ pairing: taehyung x reader
⟶ genre: punk!taehyung / band au / brother’s best friend au + smut 
⟶ words: 10,790
⟶ rating: 18+
⟶ summary: falling in love and having weekly sex with kim taehyung is wrong for a number of reasons — and, no, that’s not including the whole other issue that he’s also your brother’s best friend
⟶ warnings: multiple sex scenes, slight exhibitionism if u look hard enough, wall sex, car sex, unprotected sex, all the sex (seriously), fingering, pussy slapping (also if u look hard enough), lots of teasing, doggy style, riding, creampie
⟶ disclaimer: this story is another repost of an old one (although it’s basically been entirely rewritten lol)!  
⟶ this is part of the melodrama tour series!
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“We have to hurry. I don’t have a lot of time.”
Taehyung says this with much difficulty, of course, especially when considering you’re currently pressed up against him, his fingers digging crescent-moons into your hips ━ but he knows you’re teasing him now.
You can’t help it, though; he just makes it so easy for you.
He can be so stubborn and impatient at times that poking fun at him brings you quite a bit of joy. Maybe not so much to him, as he often whines and complains that you like to torture him, but, really, how could you not? When you think about what he’s usually like in bed, away from prying eyes, it’s entirely different. So to see that dominance in him fade into nothing short of helpless is simply satisfying ━ even if you know you’ll pay for it at a later time. It doesn’t always happen either but when it does, you bask in it for as long as possible.
Which is why you seem to take the liberty of “torturing” him so sweetly now, just before the boys are about to play a gig at a bar late one night. Taehyung had found you the moment he and the boys had finished soundchecking for the evening, then had you pinned up against the brick wall of the dingy washroom, his hips digging harshly into yours, and his hand now gripping your thigh around his waist. It might have been you who instigated it, hooded eyes and fluttering lashes and shit-eating grins meeting him in secret from across the room as he stood on stage before you with his bass guitar in hand, but Taehyung was the one to put it into action just like he always does, pulling you in there even despite the fact that they were scheduled to play in twenty minutes.
But who could blame you? Taehyung is always so charming, and tonight he was looking extra irresistible. Maybe it was the silky blouse, the first few buttons left open so that the floral tattoo on his chest pokes through, leaving very little to the imagination, or maybe it was the way he had let his hair grow out a little longer than usual, soft dark curls pushed back by a single bandana.
“You’ll be late,” You warn him in between heated kisses as he pecks his way down to the underside of your jaw where he tongues a warm pattern there.
“Just a quickie,” Taehyung promises gruffly. His hips rut against yours again and you feel his straining erection against your inner thigh. Poor thing. “Been dying all day to feel you on my dick.”
You only hum in response, a small amused smirk plastered on your face. He’s sucking a hickey onto your neck when he speaks next.
“Had all these thoughts but I was all alone. It was terrible.”
“What kind of thoughts?” You pry, quirking a brow. Your fingers toy at the top of his belt buckle, pulling him towards you. “Let me guess. Were you thinking about what it feels like to have my mouth on you? All warm and wet.”
He doesn’t move a muscle when he feels your hand trail lower past his belt only to grab at his crotch through the rough material of his jeans. You press your palm against him and he hisses.
“Sucking you off nice and slow, just how you like it?” You probe, teeth tugging at his lower lip when he catches your mouth on his once more. Your voice is low and sultry and invokes something in him that has him tensing. “Or maybe the way it felt when you had me bent over your kitchen counter the other day. You know, you always make me feel so good, Tae━”
He growls against your mouth but the harsh sound dissolves into a strangled whine. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, love.”
“And I always love when you pull at my hair too━” But you continue on as if he hadn’t even spoken, the thrill of the moment coursing through your veins like crackling electricity. “And when you grip my thighs so tightly when your head’s between my legs━”
“Y/N,” he says your name in a strained warning, bordering on a desperate beg if you listen close enough. He gets distracted when you suck delicately on a spot on his jawline and has to take a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. “Please. I’ll do anything. Just let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours.”
“My mouth?” You ask, tantalizingly slowly. “Or me?”
“I’m a simple man, I just wanna cum,” he hums, earning a delighted snort from you. “I’ll take whatever you give me, Y/N, please.”
“Hmm…” You trail off. You press your palm a little harder against him, rubbing your hand across his length. “Think I want you inside me, Tae. Wanna be wrecked by you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Now, this seems to excite him to no end. He fumbles with his belt at once. A devious cackle meets his ears and he knows you’re purposely toying with him. The next few moments unfold in a blur as his eager hands join with your own nimble ones, having his belt undone in a matter of seconds and your skirt hitched up nearly to your waist. With one hand gripping his straining and leaking cock as he pulls himself free from his pants, the other hitches one of your thighs to his waist. He pushes into you at once, the familiar feeling of your wet walls coaxing him in further and further as he sinks against your chest entirely, a beautiful luscious moan falling from his lips and a hiss of glee from yours. And, then, all at once, it’s as if all the pressure that has been building up inside of him tumbles to the forefront to be released.
“Jesus, fuck,” he grunts. He buries his head against your chest, one hand feverishly grasping at your breasts from under your shirt, fortunate you chose to forgo a bra for the night.
“Ooh, Tae━” Your own arms wrap around his neck, holding him tightly to you, but you don’t think he’ll bother going very far when his own weight slumps against you entirely, pressing you against the wall roughly. And even though he’s quick to fuck himself into you, his hips hardly stray far from yours too, causing you to bob violently up and down the wall behind you, the rough brick structure scratching at your flesh paling in comparison to the cool metallic rings on his fingers holding you up and the burn between your legs as his cock stretches you open.
“Nice to know that’s all I am to you━” Your head falls back against the wall as he continues. “Something you can use to get off. Not that I mind.”
“Nah, that’s not all you are to me,” Taehyung sharply inhales, and then shudders. In the heat of the moment, you miss the sentiment in his voice. He lifts his head to yours finally, smothering your lips with his. “But your pretty little cunt sure is nice.”
A maniacal cackle bubbles at your throat as you nip at his lower lip. Before you can respond, outside the washroom Jimin’s voice can be heard calling out aimlessly for Taehyung as the boy most likely wanders by, oblivious to what’s unfolding only a few feet away from him. “Has anyone seen Tae? Taehyung! Get your ass back here or we’re gonna be late━”
Taehyung groans out of frustration and buries his face in the crook of your neck, grumbling angrily, “Fuckin’ hell.”
But despite the Jimin’s close proximity and despite Taehyung’s bitter resentment for it, his hips still continue to rut into yours. You do manage to pull apart from his mouth and giggle when he chases after your lips desperately. “Think that’s your cue, baby.”
“There’s no way you’d be that evil,” he protests like a whining child.
“But Jimin sounds pissed.”
Taehyung finds it hard to focus when your fingers tug at the collar of his shirt, absentmindedly (or so he thinks) running your hands under his shirt and over his chest. He cradles you close to him, following your every move. That, and the way your walls clench around him drives him wild. “Heaven forbid we let down Jimin.”
“Nnng━” You choke back a whimper. “He’ll be mad.”
“As if he wouldn’t already lose his shit if he found me here in such a compromising position with you being that you’re his sister.”
Compromising is certainly one word for it. So, maybe Taehyung had a point, but that never stopped him or you before. In fact, it only seemed to add to your lustful endeavours, as if you both enjoyed seeing how far you could push the boundaries before getting caught ━ or not.
It hadn’t always been like this. For a period of your life, you had somehow forced yourself to believe you had despised Taehyung as much as you claim, as much as you lie. You wondered just how Jimin could ever be friends with, or be as inseparable with, Taehyung as he was. Whereas Jimin is timid and shy, gentle and caring, like a soft breath of cool air on a hot summer’s day that sways the knee-high grass in meadows behind your house, Taehyung is energetic and effervescent, reckless and wild, akin to that of a sudden flash of lightning that breaks apart the calm sky, a clap of thunder that shakes even the very core of sleeping Gaia. Though, somehow, their two vastly different personalities come clashing together in a harmonious perfection and create something that is entirely too rambunctious for you to handle, even as a young child.
But now? Now you’re positive neither you nor Taehyung would stand a chance against Jimin’s wrath if he found out his best friend enjoyed weekly sex of all sorts with you, sometimes even when he’s asleep in the next room over in your shared apartment with him and Taehyung had somehow managed to sneak in during the night.
“You know he’s already suspicious,” You moan as his cock angles upward into you in such a way that makes your body tremble. You jut your hips forward, meeting his halfway. “Now━ Fuck, Tae━ you wanna… You wanna risk getting kicked from the band for not showing up to your set?”
“There’s still ten minutes,” he hisses hotly. “Ten minutes is more than enough time.”
“Then you’ll really be late.”
“It adds to the rockstar brand, doesn’t it?” he asks hastily. “Fuck, baby. You’re so fucking wet and you’re teasing me?”
He’s met with a roll of your eyes, and then a drunken snicker as you retort, “Maybe being fashionably late will be more acceptable when you’re a big celebrity.”
“Did you find him?” Another voice suddenly sounds from outside, this time resembling Hoseok’s. Taehyung wonders how they haven’t heard either of you yet, the lewd wet noises of his cock burrowing into your cunt seeming to grow louder each time. Surely, you would have been caught by now had it not been for the thudding bass of the music playing at the bar.
“No,” Jimin grumbles, closer this time.
A dangerously loud whimper tumbles from your lips and Taehyung hurries to clamp his hand over your mouth. You’re fortunate when he does, clinging to his hand as he pumps himself into you. At the very least, no matter how cocky Taehyung got with you or how many times he teased the thought of getting caught, he would never actually risk facing Jimin’s mighty wrath. Still, he finds a way to have fun with it.
“Uh oh.” Taehyung meets your darkened stare, lids heavy, as his other hand leaves your thigh to stick between your legs, fingers rubbing circles against your clit. You know he does it on purpose, judging by the broadening smirk on his face when the added stimulation makes your hips jerk instinctively beneath him. He’s surprised when you hardly let out a noise, safe for a sudden gasp for air. “Not even one tiny moan? Come on, baby.”
“Fuck it. Wherever he is, he better know we’re on in ten!” Jimin’s voice carries back to the two of you. Then, a little more faintly as he wanders off, you can hear him grumble, “I swear to God, this asshole━”
“Wait, wait━” You rasp suddenly, twisting and turning beneath Taehyung and the boy stops at once. You try not to let your heart swoon at the way his hands are all soft and gentle as they touch you now, sliding his palm off your mouth if only for it to fall to your hips where he rubs at comfortingly.
He tries to ignore the way his cock twitches, shoved so deep within your walls. “What’s wrong?”
You slither from his grasp, unraveling your leg from his waist and delicately pushing him away, trying not to focus on the way your pussy throbs at the sudden missing warmth of his length. Taehyung is suddenly even more concerned, the poor boy gawking at you helplessly, his swollen cock completely forgotten as he fixes himself back into his jeans, his attention solely focused on you and your wellbeing now.
“What happened? Did I hurt you━”
“No,” You promise. “No, I just━” You look sheepish, and he wonders why, up until he sees you fidgeting with your skirt in an attempt to fix it and the mischievous twinkle flashing in your eyes. “I just figured maybe we shouldn’t risk it tonight. I mean, you heard Jiminie.” You pat Taehyung’s chest once, smoothing out the material of his now crumpled shirt. “So, I’ll see you out there.”
Taehyung blinks once. “What the fuck.”
It doesn’t seem to hit him at first; not until he spots your wicked grin as you lean past him to look at your reflection in the mirror, fixing your clothes and hair. You wipe at a smudge of lipstick in the corner of your mouth, and Taehyung gaps.
“Y/N, what the fuck?” he whines. Needy and desperate hands try to grab at you on your way to the door, but he ultimately lets you weave your way out of his reach. “What are you, the antichrist? Don’t be such a tease. I’ve got a problem that you helped start. It’s only fair if you help finish it.”
Admittedly, it is cruel. He looks both shameless and shameful, an exasperated and flustered expression to match the helpless state he’s in. Shirt askew on his shoulders, hair a wild mess, and his painfully obvious boner struggling against his jeans. You almost feel bad, until you realize you shouldn’t be. Because this is all it’s ever been between the two of you ━ sex, and more sex, no feelings attached, but lately something seems off…  Either way, Taehyung will get over it, and he’ll still come crawling back for more which is why you have no qualms when you leave. Just, maybe, not in the way you would like.
The last thing he sees of you before you flee the washroom for him to fend for himself is a seductive smirk and a wink being thrown over your shoulder as you remark innocently, prettily, “You have hands.”
And then you’re gone, leaving him alone in the dingy washroom. He doesn’t come out right away, though it leaves the restless boys that make his band awaiting him to speculate some more.
“He’s gonna totally screw us over if he doesn’t show up in the next two minutes,” Jimin is saying hotly to the boys behind the stage when you rejoin them. The bar is already filling up with partygoers but mostly fans of the band, eagerly anticipating the set.
“Relax, Jimin,” Namjoon says carelessly. “He’s probably getting blown in the washroom or something. Can’t rush a man through these things.”
Jimin rolls his eyes as the others snicker. When the others have distracted themselves by discussing other business, you approach your brother casually, saying as inconspicuous as possible yet reassuringly, “Everything will be fine. I’m sure he’ll be here any second.”
“Wouldn’t be surprised if he throws this all away for a girl,” Jimin shakes his head. “It’s a miracle he ━ or any of the guys, for that matter ━ hasn’t tried anything on you yet.”
You try to laugh, though the sound is more forced and strained than you would like. At least Jimin doesn’t seem to notice. “But he’s your friend. Don’t you trust him?”
“I do trust him,” Jimin replies. “He’s a good guy, he’s just too caught up in all this band life. We’ve both seen it with the guys, especially with Taehyung. They take advantage of this stuff in the early stages.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry,” You promise. “I’m not interested in your friends and never will be ━ especially not Taehyung.”
Fortunately, the dreaded conversation doesn’t last much longer. Taehyung does end up making it to his own set on time, and when he finds you out in the crowd, you’re smirking deviously up at him for a secret that never has to be told aloud to the world and certainly not to Jimin.
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You don’t quite remember when you and Taehyung started hooking up behind your brother’s back or what exactly caused it.
If you think back long and hard enough, you’re positive it was the result of some sort of drunken one night stand that elapsed into sober days and conscious decision making, which then turned into weeks, then months, which leaves you to where you are now. Almost a year of sucking your brother’s best friend’s dick and you’ve somehow, miraculously, never been caught. But aside from occasionally sleeping with one another, there was nothing more to be exposed to Jimin in terms of romance. Because, as far as he was aware, you and Taehyung were still embroiled in your childhood rivalry with one another that was less violent now than when you were younger and more civil, aside from the offhanded jabs and retorts shot at one another. And, as far as Taehyung and you were aware, the charade and the hook-ups all resulted in a peculiar sort of friendship between the two of you that was certainly as far as either of you would take things. Supposedly.
But between sexual teasing and taunts, you sometimes wonder if the lines have begun to blur, and if you’ve gotten too comfortable with Taehyung asking to sleep in your bed. Which is why, maybe, you overcompensate by “torturing” him on the days that he really needs you, like the night before in the grimy washroom of the bar. He hadn’t joined the real world or the band until the very last second they were meant to go on stage, looking all the more discomposed and flushed in the face when he rushed out, though at least he had somehow managed to tame his raging boner.
Now you were certain the universe was toying with you, bittersweet payback coming to nip you in the ass.
You hadn’t been so bothered the night before, leaving with the boys when their set was done and returning to your home with Jimin, not a word being uttered between you and Taehyung, even up until the very next day where you find yourself now. Crammed in a local studio run by some friend Yoongi had known from college, you were quite used to watching the band brainstorm new lyrics and record songs in real time, all from the sofa shoved up against one wall of the small space. You had been there every step of the way ━ their first rehearsal as a formed band, the day they discovered the group’s name in almost a dreamlike epiphany, the release of their very first full-length album produced and recorded all by them and promoted all by them, their very first gig with a decent following and the jittery anxiety they had all been troubled by, and every gig following it in which their nerves subsided and their effervescent charm and credence began to finally show through. But they had never been as disconcerted as they had now ━ which, really, you don’t blame them.
“Bro, this is stressing me out.” This aggravated groan sounds from Jungkook, the band’s lead guitarist.
He’s currently splayed out on the ground of the sofa you’re seated on, head thrown back against the cushions. Every other boy in the studio bare a similar wearied look ━ even Jimin, as their usual spritely lead singer.
You suppose that’s just the inevitable stress bound to occur when a scout from the infamous Columbia Records had somehow found the band either in person at one of their gigs or online and taken an interest in them and were interested in signing them. After weeks of back and forth discussion, Jin had been fortunate enough to land a meeting with the label in New York City, looking promising enough to excite even the stoic Yoongi. And after a month of planning, their meeting was set to take place finally only a week from that day. The issue seemed to arise when the label claimed they wanted the band to bring a set of new songs to the table to discuss at the last possible moment, sending the boys into a chaotic frenzy as they had only just released their first album a few months back. You had come to help the boys, though they were lucky enough to have found a handful of pre-written songs from their repertoire that still, unfortunately, needed fine tuning, vocals, and melodies. After working meticulously all morning, they were only just now deciding to split for a much needed lunch break.
“Same here,” Jimin says glumly, rubbing at his tired eyes. “Can’t wait to get out of here. I feel like I’m going insane.”
As the boys begin to shift and move, Jin gets to his feet and clasps his hands onto Jimin’s shoulders, giving him a reassuring nudge. “Just think about it: international success and Grammys await.”
“If we don’t fall apart before then,” Namjoon stifles a yawn as he stretches out his arms. He tosses a glance at you and Taehyung. “You guys coming?”
“Yeah,” You say, though you hardly move from your seat. “I’ll be there.”
“I’ll catch up with you guys in a minute,” Taehyung nods. He’s sat across from you on the couch, journal propped on one knee as he scrawls away in it, a jarble of chord progressions and lyrics. “Just gonna finish cleaning up in here.”
It seems convincing enough to Namjoon and the rest of the boys, even Jimin who is already out the door, not in the least bit suspicious of you or Taehyung. Honestly, you’re sure not even Taehyung is suspicious of your unmoving presence beside him until the boys leave and suddenly the room falls silent.
“You’re stressed,” You point out in a gentle musing. Which is true. You don’t usually see Taehyung riddled with anxieties, typically keeping to himself and maintaining some sort of effortless and mysterious coolness around the others.
The boy quirks a brow as he lifts his gaze to look up at you, tossing the journal onto the ground. Whether or not he seems to catch the underlying suggestive and sultry tone in your voice, you’re not quite sure but could you really blame yourself? It was difficult having to watch Taehyung all morning in his element, gazing at him whenever he was in the recording booth, headphones dangling from his neck and bass guitar in his lap as his expert fingers thrummed away at the strings. He always looks most attractive to you when he’s so utterly consumed by his work and his art, whether it be on stage in front of hundreds of people or in a more intimate setting at recordings or practices.
“What happened to you not wanting to disappoint Jimin by getting caught or whatever it was?” he asks, waving his hand dismissively. “Staying back with me is definitely gonna catch his attention.”
“Maybe,” You shrug. You catch his hand as he brings it back down, raising it to your lips to kiss at the tips of his fingers slowly, one-by-one, never once breaking eye contact with him. “I was just thinking you could use some help. And an apology for yesterday.”
Despite the way Taehyung’s dark gaze scrutinizes you in a taunting manner, he still watches as you take his hand and place it between your thighs, over your core. At least today you chose to wear leggings, the smooth material allowing for very little obstacles standing in his way as you press his fingers against you. A wolfish smirk tugs at his lips. “You think your pussy’s gonna help me?”
“Yes, actually, I do,” You say, matter-of-fact. “And I don’t think it will; I know. If I remember correctly, you were begging to use me as a stress-reliever before your set yesterday.”
Taehyung clucks his tongue. “Sounds a lot to me like you just want my fingers in you. Not so nice now being the needy one, huh?”
“I want you to do a lot of things to me, Tae.”
“Careful, baby. You’re playing a dangerous game,” Taehyung says. Still, he entertains the idea. Pressing his thumb harder against you, he rubs leisurely at the sensitive part of your clit over your clothes and the sudden feeling makes you pur with glee. “Besides, why should I be so nice and help you after what you did to me?”
You roll your eyes. “You’re still on about that? You’re a grown man, you can pleasure yourself.”
“How mean.” He feigns a look of mock hurt. “It doesn’t feel as nice when it isn’t you.”
“Taehyung,” You scold his name in a warning, but it mostly comes out as a contented sigh. You know you’ve already won him over, though the impatient tug you give on his arm as you clutch at his wrist of the hand still between your legs is a wordless reminder. Your fingers flutter up to his face, pulling him down for a kiss which he gladly obliges to. “Think they’ll walk in?”
“Nah.” His voice is a throaty murmur. “We’ve got some time. The boys’ seem worried enough as is; think they’re already halfway to that pho place around the corner they wanted to try, and they’re probably not gonna wanna come back here for at least another hour. Plus, I think we’ve given the producers a raging headache with all our requests so they definitely won’t want to be back in here for a while.”
You snicker at the thought, humming into his mouth as you pull him down with you onto the sofa, bending your knee so as to let him slide into place between your legs more comfortably. He pulls his hand away from you only long enough to lick at his digits before slipping his hand past the waistband of your leggings this time. Nudging aside your underwear, he swipes his fingers at your clit, marveling at your stickiness.
Your breath hitches in your throat. “What do we say when they ask where we went?”  
“Doesn’t matter,” he grunts into your mouth. “Fuck, tell them we were busy fucking for all I care.”
You swat at his chest playfully but lose your spirit when he presses his thumb against your clit, causing your hips to rut forward in a silent plea. Taehyung’s right, you think. Your excuse for the boys can be worried about later. Now, Taehyung slides a finger into you, then another, stretching you open experimentally, causing you to croon.
Face warm and head spinning, a sudden thought pops into your head that seems much more intimate than his fingers in you. “So━” You bite your lip to stop a moan. The question that forms on your tongue is timid despite the lewd things that threaten to run through your mind at his every touch, “S-So, what happens when you’re a big and famous rockstar, touring the world now?”
“I’ll take you with me.” Taehyung tongues a pattern down to the underside of your jaw, sending shivers down your spine. He curls his fingers upward, sinking further into you until he’s reached his knuckles, enjoying the way your hips twitch beneath him. “Fuck you in every city we go to, in every fancy, over-the-top hotel we stay in. New York, L.A., Paris, London, Rome…”
“Romantic,” You snort, although maybe it kind of is if you think about it long enough. He slides a third finger into you then, fucking his digits in and out of you at a gradual pace that has your core aching. You’re all warm and wet around him that it goes straight to his dick, the thought of him tearing you apart as he plunges his cock into you making him grow antsy. It does the same to you. “Nnngh, Taehyung━ We’ll see about that when you meet pretty girls thousands of miles away who can offer you so much more than me.”
“Hmm… Dunno about that,” he hums. “There’s only gonna be you.”
You wonder if he knows what he’s doing, the way his words make your heart stutter in your chest. But then you start to wonder why you’re even feeling such things for him. Pretty words promising you that you meant more to him than sex meant little to you in comparison when he never acted upon it ━ but could you blame him? Even you were apprehensive of ruining what you already had with him, his friendship with Jimin if you told him how you were feeling lately, and the integrity of the band.
Your legs tremble as your orgasm approaches. Taehyung busies himself by nipping and sucking at your neck and all you can do is puff and pant, the lewd wet noises of his fingers penetrating you filling your ears. “Taehyung━ God, I wanna feel your dick so badly.”
“Yeah?” he growls. “Gonna let me fuck you finally? You’re so wet right now, could slip right in. Fuck, look at what you do to yourself by being so mean to me.”
He twists his finger up into you in such a way that has you grinding against his knuckles. “Please, Tae━”
“Got you stretched so wide too,” Taehyung hums pensively. “Your pussy always takes me so well too, doesn’t it?”
“Hmm, Taehyung!”
“Look at you,” he hisses, quickening his pace. Your back arches until your chest is pressed flush against his, walls quivering around his fingers. You reach out desperately for his face, smoothing your lips over his but you fail to really make any sort of connection. Instead, your jaw unhinges in a breathless moan against his mouth as he rests his forehead against yours. “Wanna come around my fingers so badly, don’t you? So close too.”
“Fuck, fuck, I’m━” Your hands ball into fists around the collar of his shirt. Your eyes threaten to roll back as you get closer and closer, your aching pussy so close to feeling its much needed relief when━ “What the fuck, Taehyung?”
He pulls his hand from your core before you can cum, leaving you a sweating and panting mess. The sudden loss of contact leaves you dumbfounded, gawking at the boy who’s suddenly grinning in a similar ungodly manner to your selfish response to him the day before. Payback has never tasted so sweet before to him, and so bitter to you.
“You did that on purpose,” You whine, jutting your hips forward desperately to meet his hand again. Instead, he gives your leaking and sensitive pussy one slap, the pleasant jolt shooting up your spine making you moan. “You’re so mean. I thought you were over it.”
“Well, now I am.” He pulls his hand out from between your legs and licks at his fingers. “Have you had your fun?”
It takes you a moment to respond as you gather yourself. He finds your sulking a little hilarious, and maybe also feels a little bad. “For now.”
“That’s a good girl.” He leans down to kiss your mouth hungrily, enjoying when you suck eagerly at his lower lip. “Because I’ve had my fun.”
You open your mouth to say something more but are stopped shortly when, somewhere outside the recording room, you can hear the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching, followed by the sound of the doorknob turning and Jimin’s curious voice, “Tae?”
You and Taehyung have stumbled off of one another within seconds, listening to the way Taehyung curses under his breath as he flings himself off the couch and a few feet away as you sit upright on the sofa. You have to only pray and hope that you both don’t look too obvious, though you think it’s too late for that. Either way, you cross one thigh over the other, biting down harshly on your tongue as Jimin stumbles into the room. As his gaze sweeps fleetingly across the room, he hardly takes note of both you and Taehyung.
“There you two are,” he says. “Was wondering where you went off to. And━” His stare flutters over to Taehyung for a moment and you hold your breath, fearing he may know a little too much, when━ “There’s my wallet! I knew I forgot it here.”
He crosses the room swiftly and plucks his abandoned wallet from the desk, holding it up to show the two of you. You smile nervously and Taehyung takes it upon himself to answer, clearing his throat in the process. “We were just gonna catch up with you, actually. Y/N was just helping me finish up here.”
You’re fortunate that Jimin’s probable sudden panic of trying to find his wallet and the relief of realizing he hadn’t lost it to the ether is what distracts him. He seems hardly intrigued by your lack of presence or yours and Taehyung’s odd companionship without the other boys. Whatever the case, you both manage to make it out of the recording studio unscathed and Taehyung does a well enough job at deflecting from any further suspicions by talking as normally as he usually would with Jimin on your walk over to the restaurant the rest of the boys are at.
Well, as unscathed as you can be, the tragedy of your lost orgasm still haunting you even as you sit across from Taehyung at the table.
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“Now you’ll really be late.”
You say this as a heedful warning, though you’re fortunate when you find that you’re both distracted this time.
You know you have Taehyung under your spell that morning when he catches you purposely wandering his apartment in nothing but a pair of your panties. It’s not as if it’s uncommon to see you naked in his kitchen, making breakfast. That morning, when you walk into the bedroom holding a cup of tea, Taehyung almost chokes at the sight of your bare chest. It’s early the day of the band’s flight to New York City for their meeting with Columbia Records, and though Taehyung has roughly an hour before he has to leave the apartment, you’re worried he might just miss the flight altogether when he pulls you onto his bed again after a night of fucking.
“Don’t care. Come here.” His large hands are on you in an instant, roaming your body as he kisses the underside of your jaw and pins you beneath him. You let him get carried away, let him leave a trail of sloppy kisses from your lips down to your collarbones and in between your breasts.
“What are you gonna tell the boys when they’re on a flight to New York and you’re still in your apartment?” You rasp, fingers threading in his hair.
“Was busy spending the last twenty-four hours making hot, passionate love to you.”
The wry grin on his face makes it come across as a joke and makes your heart skip a beat. Admittedly, that was partly the truth. He had invited you over the day before and you had spent the better part of it in his bed in every position imaginable. Have to make up for the three days we won’t see each other, he had said after your first round, head between your legs and mouth on your cunt.
You snicker now but the sound falls short when a moan replaces it. “Don’t think you can call it passionate love making when you gave up halfway and made me ride you like you always do.”
He gasps and bites down teasingly on your skin but not with enough pressure to hurt. “Was that a jab at my manhood?”
“Of course not.”
“Besides, I like it best when you’re in charge.”
You roll your eyes but pull him up to your face so that you can kiss him again. It’s an odd shift in atmosphere when you find him kissing you in a chaste manner, despite having marked you red all over and legs still shaking from how many times he’s made you come in the last twenty-four hours. But it wasn’t all sex for once. Falling asleep in his arms left you still dreaming even when you were long awake.
“Gonna miss you,” he whispers once he parts from you. He rubs soft circles against your hips, nuzzling his nose against your cheek.
“It’s only for three days,” You say.
“I know,” he sighs. “I just━ God, I’ve gotten so used to you being here. I’m just sick of sleeping alone all the time. Shit, I don’t think I’m making any sense anymore. All I know is you’re driving me crazy.”
“Taehyung…”
“Am I wrong to feel that way?” He lifts his head now to look at you, ardent sincerity glazing over his eyes as he gazes at you.
You’re too caught up in the moment, the lustful afterglow of sex and whatever else is starting to emerge however blurry it may be now, to not notice right away the sound of knocking on the front door. Instead, you reach out to push his hair out of his eyes. You think you know what he means; you just want to hear him say it aloud. Your question is a gentle probe. “What are you trying to say?”
“I━”
But Taehyung’s voice is cut short by the sound of Jin’s shouting from the front door. “Taehyung, you in here?”
Wide eyes meet with yours in the sudden alarming panic of Jin’s arrival. Taehyung grumbles mostly to himself, “God dammit, what’s he doing here?”
You can hear the band’s manager talking aloud, quite possibly to another one of the boys that he’s dragged with him, and you and Taehyung scramble to react. Taehyung only has enough time to clamber out of his bed and pull on a pair of discarded sweatpants from the floor as you pull on one of his sweaters and grab the bedsheet to cling to your chest if only so it can hide the rest of your bare legs.
“Are you alive?” Jin’s asking, closer this time.
“We had to come check on you━” You don’t register the second voice until it’s too late.
Because there, standing at the threshold of Taehyung’s door to his room, is not just Jin but your brother. Jimin’s familiar pop of bright blue hair and nonchalant smile are much too hard to forget. But, upon stumbling across Taehyung’s room, they each come to a stuttering halt. It doesn’t take long for the realization to dawn on them ━ and how could they not piece together the puzzles painting such a painfully obvious picture? The dishevelled bed, the clothes that litter his floor, your clothes that litter his floor, Taehyung’s shirtless and sloppy attire, your own half-hearted attempt at dressing yourself and the marks that riddle your body that you were banking on fading completely by the time you were reunited with Jimin after their return from their meeting.
“Uh…” Taehyung trails off awkwardly. “What are you guys doing here?”
“Oh shit,” Jin curses under his breath. Despite having no idea whatsoever about you or Taehyung (though maybe having a better inkling than the rest of the boys), he turns hastily towards Jimin. “Maybe now’s not a good time.”
But Jimin hardly budges. Instead, he looks enlivened, jaw setting harshly in place as his brows furrow into a scowl. “Jin knows I have a spare key to your place after that one time you locked yourself out and he wanted to make sure we all met up before getting to the airport. You weren’t answering our calls, thought you were dead. Guess now I know it’s because you were too busy fucking my sister.”
“Jimin,” You hiss sharply.
Taehyung shakes his head wildly. “It’s not like that.”
“Really?” Jimin retorts. “‘Cause it sure seems like it is.”
Taehyung grimaces. “Okay, yes, but not in the way you think. It’s not some meaningless fuck. I care about her.”
But that only seems to be the wrong answer. Would there ever be a right one? Taming Jimin’s stubborn anger and protectiveness over you was hard enough on any other day. Now that he knows you’ve slept with Taehyung, Taehyung felt as if he were a lost cause.
“How long has this been happening?” Jimin asks, tight-lipped.
You can’t bring yourself to answer, neither can Taehyung, and that seems to be enough to answer his worries. Maybe if you had acted faster, said it was only a one night stand, he wouldn’t have been able to read your mind so easily. Yet your silence was enough to make you guilty.
“Shit,” Jimin runs a hand through his hair. When he speaks next, he’s looking only at you. “Do you love him?”
“I━” You open your mouth, as if to explain yourself. This time, the answer came much easier. You know what you want to say, but voicing the truth out loud in front of your brother and Taehyung, who might not feel the same way, makes you clamp your mouth shut. Whatever your answer anyway should be for Taehyung only. Instead, you frown up at your brother. “I don’t get why you’re so upset anyway. Who cares if we’re in love? Who cares what we are? It’s not like you can control me. I can make these sorts of decisions myself, Jimin. This is ridiculous.”
“No. I get that,” Jimin says firmly. “But you’re my sister, and your wellbeing comes first to me. So, Tae━” Now, your brother turns to look at Taehyung. You’ve never seen him so furious before, disappointed even, and certainly not when it comes to Taehyung. “If you care about her so much, when were you gonna let her know?”
This seems to catch your attention, sending a curious gaze between Jimin and Taehyung. “Let me know what?”
“That he’s been screwing some other chick he met at the bar a while ago,” Jimin says. “Walked in on them once by accident and, after the fact, he said some similar bullshit about how it wasn’t meaningless or whatever.”
You blink.
The blow to your chest, and subsequently your heart, makes you teeter on your frail legs. Because if what Jimin was saying was true, then were all the sweet sentiments Taehyung whispered to you even yours to begin with? Did he care about you as much as you cared about him? But, the worst part of it all, is how utterly foolish you feel. Because when Taehyung doesn’t immediately answer, your question about whether or not Jimin was telling the truth was confirmed; and you had let yourself almost willingly fall for Taehyung despite all the warning signs. Despite the fact that you had both initiated your relationship on the basis that nothing would ever blossom from it.
“Is that true?” You ask Taehyung.
The boy hesitates. He meets your stare solemnly, flinching when he notes just how hurt you seem. “Partly.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You demand. But before he can respond, you scoff under your breath as you begin to gather your belongings. “Oh my god. I’m so stupid━”
Taehyung starts. “Wait, Y/N━”
“Just leave her alone━” Jimin interrupts.
“Hey. Hey!” Jin snaps abruptly, the firm tone in his voice catching the boys’ attention. “We gotta go. Now. Taehyung, get yourself decent; Jimin, in the living room. We leave for the airport in five minutes.”
You decide you no longer want to wait for an answer. Your own embarrassment is far too much to handle for the moment being, and you favour the idea of fleeing from Taehyung’s sorrowful gaze, Jimin’s heated one, and Jin’s scrutinizing scowl.
You’re long gone before Taehyung can even think to stop you.
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The three days in which the boys find themselves in New York City for their meeting with Columbia Records is the longest three days of your life.
Taehyung never bothers to call or text you ━ and the looming swell of concern of awaiting to hear his voice or your brother’s or any answer of how the meeting has gone fades in comparison. Because every sweet nothing he ever said to you suddenly means nothing, and you don’t know where that leaves you.
Just when you think you can take the torture no longer, the band returns. Jimin comes bounding into your shared apartment the moment his flight lands and the taxi has brought him home, greeting you with the wonderful news that the band’s been signed, and a celebration is in store consisting of their closest friends and family members. While you initially bask in Jimin’s excitement, mirroring your own, it quickly fades as you fear you’ve lost Taehyung for good.
“You’ll come to the party, won’t you?” Jimin asks hopefully at some point. “The boys will want you there.”
You shift warily in your seat on the sofa across from your brother who stands in the midst of the room after having animatedly relaying the story of the past three days to you. You shrug now, and when Jimin shoots you a quizzical look, you decide to approach the topic cautiously, dancing over your words slowly. “I dunno, Jimin. If he’s gonna be there… I don’t know if I can face him right now.”
Jimin comes to an immediate halt. His face falls and he sinks onto the seat beside you. “Y/N… Look, I was wrong, and I’m sorry. While we were away, Taehyung and I talked and he’s gutted about what happened. But that’s all I can say. I think you should talk to each other. No, I want you to talk to each other. I know now that you’re meant for one another.”
“Are you only telling me this because you’re being your best friend’s wingman, or because you’re being my brother?” You ask, a weak lighthearted attempt at a joke.
“Both,” Jimin says warmly. “Because I care about you both, and I don’t want to have to live with the regret of being the reason two people perfect for each other aren’t together.”
And when your brother says it with such earnestness, you have no choice but to believe him.
So, despite feeling like a fool for potentially crossing paths with Taehyung again, you muster the nerve and motivation to go, and arrive at the party with Jimin later that night. The impromptu last minute party itself is held at Namjoon’s home, filled to the brim with mostly familiar faces and a few unrecognizable ones that must be acquaintances of the boys you’ve never met before. You make your rounds and congratulate the boys one-by-one, being enveloped into a tight hug with each one, safe for Taehyung whom you don’t see at first.
You’re fortunate when mutual friends of yours and Jimin’s arrive, spending the majority of the night with them as your brother wanders off to get wasted. At some point, as the night drawls on, you catch sight of Taehyung and the presence of him is enough to dampen your mood entirely. You decide you’re no longer in the mood for a party, and make haste for the door, stumbling out onto the lawn. You only make it so far, coming to stop at the foot of the curb to breathe in the cool night air around you, before you notice Taehyung hurrying out after you, calling your name.
Almost as soon as he’s able to catch his breath and you lock gazes with the boy, he asks aloud, “Where are you going?”
You hadn’t expected him to follow you, nor the terrible nearly tangible awkwardness that hangs heavy in the air. Still, the concern in his voice and the corners of his eyes softening at the sight of you makes you want nothing more than to forget all the heartache. “Home.”
“Let me drive you?” he asks delicately.
You hesitate before responding. You know the simple offer of a drive is more than that. It’s an invitation to talk to him, sort things out. And you, of course, can’t possibly deny him. As soon as you’ve followed him to his car and he starts driving, everything goes silent. It’s almost unbearable as you shift uncomfortably in your seat and gaze out the window, hoping the long car ride will pass by rather quickly. You thwart his attempts at starting any conversation by turning the radio up and letting the music ━ a mix from Taehyung’s phone filled with pop-punk and indie classics ━ fill the emptiness but it doesn’t work with distracting you. He takes a detour from the path to your apartment, driving instead to a nearby lookout point of a hiking trail, now abandoned and desolate this late at night.
It’s quiet even long after he shifts the car into park, leaving only the sound of the stereo to fill the void. Then, at long last━
“You didn’t call,” You say.
Taehyung swallows thickly. “I know.”
“That’s all I wanted. An explanation.”
“I know,” Taehyung shifts in his seat to look at you. “I’m sorry. I messed up.”
“I know I have no right to feel like you’re mine when the reason we started seeing each other was casual, but everything you’ve been saying to me lately━” You rasp, “that I’m the only one for you and that you were gonna miss me because you were tired of being alone ━ did all of it mean nothing?”
The boy’s stare hardens. “No. I was never lying when I was with you. Everything I said, I meant.”
“Then why didn’t you call?”
“Because I was scared I had lost you,” Taehyung grovels all at once, silencing you. “Because things were starting to finally change between us ━ where it wasn’t just sex all the fucking time, but something genuine ━ and I didn’t want to face the reality that it could all be gone, just like that.”
“Well, what did Jimin mean, about that other girl? Was he telling the truth?”
“Yes.”
“Did you fuck her?”
“Yes.”
“And did you fuck her while you were still saying there was only me in your life and pretending you meant it?”
“I was never pretending,” Taehyung protests exasperatedly. “We had a fling, but that was months ago, when you and I first started whatever the hell this is. But Jimin was wrong. I never told him she was the one, or whatever. I said I didn’t want it to be meaningless anymore. That I want something more. I thought I had found it with that girl; but it was really with you.”
“Taehyung…” You whisper his name now, a delicate utterance.
“You can’t tell me I’m the only one feeling this way about us,” Taehyung beckons desperately. “I know you’ve been feeling it too.”
You purse your lips; then, you let out a small exhalation of air. “Tae… I think I’ve been in love with you ever since we were little kids.”
Now, Taehyung’s stare softens. He reaches out to grab at your face, gingerly pulling you into him, thumb caressing your cheek.
“I want you,” he promises. “God, I want you so bad. Do you really think I’d risk getting kicked from the band for anyone else but you? Or let anyone else tease me so bad but you?”
You can’t help but snicker. You shake your head at him as he pulls you into a kiss. He grins against your mouth and, this time when he kisses you, it’s hot and needy, a whole three day’s worth of pent up emotions and desires pouring into your every touch. Your hands fumble to undo your seatbelt and then you’re climbing over onto his lap and he’s welcoming you with open arms, the skirt of your dress hitching up higher on your thighs. Your knee, or maybe it was your foot or elbow, accidentally hits the horn of the steering wheel and startles the two of you, earning a squeak from you, before you both erupt into laughter. Taehyung reaches down to push the seat back a few inches to give you more space in the cramped driver’s seat and then he pauses to look up at you with mesmerized eyes. He kisses you again and again, as your hands come up to grasp at the sides of his neck.
“Had enough of the bullshit, have you?” he asks humorously. “Gonna take matters into your own hands?”
“I’m tired of all this teasing and chasing,” You pout. You’ve already begun grinding your hips against his, enjoying the way his face pinches in pure delight. He burrows his face into your chest, breasts soft against his head. A soft moan bubbles at your lips as you plant your own hands onto his chest. “I think so are you. We’ve both got a taste of it, haven’t we? We need to make up for lost time.”
“Fair enough,” he rasps. “What do you want from me, baby?”
“You, all of you,” You murmur. “Want your dick in me.”
“Gonna let me finish this time?” he tuts.
Your amused giggle meets his ears and he wonders how you can be both cute and sexy at the same time. “Mmm, I wanna be filled with your cum.”
“Oh, fuck,” Taehyung grunts. “Okay, okay. Here━”
Somehow, he’s able to gesture to the backseat and you and him clamber your way there until you’re finally both situated once more with you straddling his lap. There’s a mutual understanding that there’s no point, nor time, for foreplay but it’s not as if either of you mind. Taehyung’s surely had enough and so have you because while teasing him may be fun for a while, it certainly can feel like torture trying to stay away from him in the meantime. You help him fumble with the belt of his jeans so that he can unbuckle them and watch as he grasps at himself, pulling his cock free. Immediately, you’re lifting your hips to pull the skirt of your dress up higher and his hands help aid you clumsily, palms gliding up the smooth expanse of your thighs.
Then, fumbling to push you on your knees before him, with one hand on the small of your back, he pulls you towards him and gazes down between the two of you as he hooks a thumb over the material of your panties to push it to the side and teases the tip of himself over your slick folds. Your hands flail outward, palms pressing against the windowpane as he somehow situates himself behind you in the cramped space on his knees. He grunts from behind you at the feeling and then slowly and carefully guides you down onto him. It takes a moment to adjust but as you sink fully down until he’s balls deep, his cock coaxed easily by your leaking wetness, the both of you come to a halt, sputtering for air.
“Wait, wait,” he gasps. “Oh, fuck━ Stay put for a sec.”
“Why?” You ask, jutting your hips backwards teasingly. “Gonna cum already?”
“You’re such a fucking tease,” he mutters. He thrusts up into you without warning as payback, causing you to gasp out loud and flail forward. “No, you brat. I just want to enjoy it a little bit longer.”
He’s right. It does feel nice to finally feel some sort of friction after three days of nothing. To him, you just feel so nice and warm and snug and, to you, he fills you up so perfectly. So you stay put for a little bit, adjusting to the feeling as you kiss each other slow and steadily. His dick twitches inside you, warm and wet and so fucking hard. He’s just so big, your head is spinning. It’s almost as if you feel him in the pit of your stomach, legs trembling at the feeling. He yanks impatiently at the top of your dress, pulling it down so that the material pools at your waist now, reveling in the way your bare breasts spring free. At once, his hands are reaching around your front to palm at your breasts, grasping at your hips and navel.
“Wanna wreck you so bad,” Taehyung growls roughly against the shell of your ear as he presses his chest against your back. “Gonna fill you up so good, make your pussy all mine. How does that sound?”
“Want it so bad,” You whine, one arm hooking behind you so that your fingers can scratch at his hair. “F-fuck, Taehyung━”
When he tugs lightly at your hips, you take that as his gesture for you to move and start grinding your hips against his.
“Been waiting so long,” he hisses. “Feels good, doesn’t it? Don’t know why you always gotta tease me.”
“Taehyung,” You choke out. “Oh, f-fuck━”
“That’s it, baby girl. Doing so well,” Taehyung grunts as your walls quiver around him. He starts grinding into you, rough snaps of his hips sending you jolting forward each time. “Gonna take my dick like a good girl?”
“Y-Yes━ God, want it so bad,” You cry out. “Give it to me harder, please, Taehyung━”
He gladly obliges, quickening his pace until he’s slamming his hips into yours in thrusts that tremble you to the core. Tears begin to prick at your eyes at the glorious sensation, your cunt throbbing with each thrust. You’re so wet, he almost slips from your walls each time he rolls his hips into yours.
“Fuck━ Want you to ride me,” he rasps at some point. “Show me how your pussy belongs to me. Can you do that for me?”
You nod blindly. You try not to whine at the sudden loss of contact when he pulls out of you, the tip of his cock glistening with both of your leaking cum mingling together, the sticky strands pulling apart midair as he fumbles. Soon, he has you straddling his lap, sinking onto his dick once more. You grip his shoulders this time, bouncing on him as he buries his face in your chest.
A sudden thought has him groaning aloud. “Your brother’s gonna fucking hate me.”
“I thought he said you talked things over,” You gasp. “That everything’s okay.”
“I don’t mean that,” Taehyung’s head rolls back, eyes squeezing shut. “He’s gonna murder me if he ever catches us like this.”
“Think he knows it happens by now,” You giggle. You moan when you drop your hips on him completely, swiveling around his dick.
“Still don’t think that means he wants to see us making love on the couch in your apartment. Not gonna be able to keep my hands off of you,” Taehyung points out. Then, adding hastily, “Fuck it. Can we not talk about your brother? It’s killing the mood.”
Another delightful chuckle bubbles from your lips though it’s quick to dissolve into a splintered cry as his dick angles upwards into you.
Your back arches until your chest is pressed against his. It’s almost embarrassing how fast the two of you become complete shambles, a sticky mess forming between your legs. It comes to that point where you don’t care about being careful and where you decide to adopt such a reckless pace, fucking yourself on him, your breasts bouncing wildly before him. Taehyung moans and eagerly latches his mouth on one of your breasts, sucking hard.
“Taehyung,” You whine. “I’m not gonna last.”
He hums against you, pulling you closer to his mouth and chest and wrapping you in his heat, as if to urge you on. Your mewls and whimpers ring in Taehyung’s ears as beautiful sounding as the music that plays in the background. You begin to give out, your tiredness mingling with the intensity of pleasure, and you collapse against Taehyung’s chest, huffing for air. He quickly replaces your efforts, grabbing your hips tightly and plummeting his upwards into yours so hard that you feel each thrust shake you to the core. You know you’ll have bruises in the morning but you don’t mind. You’re leaning entirely against Taehyung now, your arms wrapping around his neck, as cries of his name and choked whimpers continue to tear from your throat and mouth.
“F-Fuck!” You cry. “Taehyung, faster━ oh my god, please━”
Your pleas drown out when one long moan escapes you. You can feel the muscles in your core tighten and loosen in a constant battle that has your head swimming in a good way, your heart pounding in your chest. Taehyung grits his teeth, focusing on bringing you to your high, and, before you are able to even comprehend what’s happening, you’re toppling over the edge. You’re still on top of Taehyung, whimpering profusely and crying his name in a beautiful mantra as your high shakes you from head to toe.
“Fuck, that’s it, baby,” Taehyung hisses. “Cum for me. Cream all over my dick. You love it, don’t you? Love having me fill you up like this?”
“Yes, oh my god, Tae, yes━ faster, please━”
Taehyung obliges, sweat forming on his forehead. He feels you squeeze around him so tight that he fumbles for a second, sputtering for air. Then, he feels your cum pulsate out of you, leaking down his length. You’re instantly floating up high with the stars, relishing in your high and the way Taehyung rides it out as he also fights for his own sweet release. As your hips come to a stutter, he grips at your waist and pummels his dick up into your aching pussy.
His tongue continues to lav lazily at your jawline and, by the time he reaches his own high, you are beginning to cringe from the sensitivity. Yet, you hold on, pushing away the slight sting as you help coax him to his high, squeezing your muscles around him. He cums moments later, releasing into you warm and wet, crying your name.
“Fuck, Y/N━ Gonna fill you up, baby, just how you like it━”
He rams his hips up into yours for one final effort, shuddering in elation as his cock twitches every last drop of cum from it. Then, both breathless and panting, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, you slump against his chest, resting your forehead against his. The car instantly goes silent and the foreground music that was the radio comes to once more. You listen to the soft lyrics as the two of you bask in the afterglow of sex and he kisses you all over.
You don’t know how much time passes as the two of you lay there, his hands rubbing comforting circles on your hips as your own fingers trace the tattoos that ink his skin.
“You know━” Taehyung speaks up eventually, his voice a low mumble. “Gonna be extra hard not to be late getting to gigs now.”
“Uh oh.” You roll your eyes. “Think we’ve got all the time in the world now for sex, Tae.”
Taehyung grins. “I was thinking more about the fact that I’m not gonna want to get out of bed in the morning, whenever you fall asleep beside me.”
Your heart swells at his confession and you peck his cheek quickly before burying your face in the crook of his neck. It’s his own serenade of sorts, his small promise in the backseat of his car, that makes it all okay in the end.
“And,” Taehyung admits cheekily this time, “knowing we don’t have to keep us a secret anymore, even to ourselves━ I'm definitely not gonna be able to keep my hands off of you now.”
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awkwardspontaneity · 3 years
Note
Hello. This is my first request for the Legend of Zelda, so I do not know how to write it correctly. I don't speak English and I'm writing this in a translator, so there may be mistakes here, sorry. In general, I want to see how the reader will react to the fact that Revali, Link and Sidon cheated on her. (something made me feel sad) Thank you in advance ╹▽╹
I'm so sorry something happened to upset you. If it's along the lines of this request give me a name😤👊 anyways thank you so much for requesting!! This ended up being so much longer than I intended but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope this is what you're looking for!
✨ requests are open✨
Warning: angst, cheating
Revali🐦
I think with his prickly nature not a lot of people would stick around long enough to get to know how much he cares
But some bitch saw how much he was training to perfect his powers to help Hyrule and couldn't resist
It started off as bringing him lunches and heat pads after a long day of training and then it escalated
They would wrap his wings up and suddenly he was letting them fix his braids. He never saw it as much more than a fan helping him out but you saw differently
It ended up in a big fight when you finally brought up how Revali was allowing this fan to hang off of him like they were his partner not you. You brought up excellent points like how he took such a long time to even trust you with braiding his hair and that he could at least let them know he's in a relationship.
Revali got upset (probably cuz ur right and he can't admit it) and snapped that at least they appreciated him
Yeah bad move. You walked out and bird brain left to train away the pain
You came across his first and decided to head to the shooting range with some peace snacks but what do you find?
You walk up the slope towards the archery range, a container of Revali's favourite snacks in hand. As you approach you see something sitting inside the hut and assume it's him. Sterling your breath you walk into the hut and what you find takes your breath away- not in the good way either. Revali sat there with his wings wrapped around them, too caught up on their liplock to notice you standing there.
CRASH
The container hits the ground with a shatter, ruining their little scene.
"Y/n-"
"Don't even try it." You wish your voice didn't sound as broken. No matter how much your heart squeezed in pain from the betrayal, you wanted to come off so much different- angrier. Because you were angry. "Just because we have an argument does not give you the right to run off with your new friend."
Revali flinches at the word and you feel a sick glimmer of satisfaction. He opens his mouth to protest, ignoring your glare. "I-I'm sorry." Your glare darkens and he immediately flounders for the right words. "You accused me of something I didn't do-"
Yeah, not the right words. You wish you could do something, anything to hurt him like he hurt you. But you had to be the bigger person no matter how much you wanted to snap that precious bow of his in half.
"I accused you, not have you permission."
"We can work through this, together" his wing reached out to you, but you recoiled to fast.
"We're not together." You walked towards the entrance "I hope it was worth it."
Link 🗡️
Link is a closed off person. Sure he has people worship him for his title as the hero of Hyrule, but he would never let that get to his head. You could tell this boy he's amazing and it still wouldn't get through his insecurities
Maybe it's cruel but, that almost reassured you he would never break your heart like that. You felt secure in your relationship
That's why it was so shocking when you found out he had fallen for Zelda.
It wasn't meant to ever be more than knight and princess. And you never should have found out.
You were walking towards the stables of your party was staying at. It was supposed to be a simple trip to complete some research out in the plains. Of course your trip was ambushed by an energetic princess who begged to come along for research purposes. You couldn't complain because the addition of the princess also came with your boyfriend Link.
Now you were looking for him outside the small ranch. You fully expected him to be caring for Epona like he always did after a long trip. His love for his horse was something you had always loved about him. The way he would stay later than everyone else to make sure she was okay. It had made stables kind of your spot. Hanging out at the end of a long day to talk and spend time together while caring for your steeds.
Maybe that was why your heart felt so utterly shattered when you did find him, standing next to the stable, with the princess in his arms. Maybe you could have fooled yourself into believing he was being friendly if he hadn't pressed a long loving kiss to her forehead followed by both her cheeks, chuckling softly as she giggled.
You knew they had always been close. I mean they spent all their time together. You'd just never thought that Link would do something like this to you.
You walked away from the stables fighting backs the tears in your eyes. It was only when you found you had walked into an older area, a spare shack outside, that you finally let the tears fall. Your heart twisted in pain as sobs tore from your throat.
Why hasn't you seen this? Why weren't you enough?
------
Your research trip was almost over. You had gone back late into the night to find Link on the edge of his bed head in his hands. He had shot up to demand where you had been when you finally walked in and although he looked like he wanted to argue, he accepted that you had been organizing your research supplies and notes in quiet.
That had been 3 days ago. You had spent the research trip sticking close to your colleagues, poring over each plant and testing their uses. The princess was too distracted with her own interests to really notice how you shied away from her presence. Link had though. And he was about done with you brushing him off in favour of your work. You both were busy so not having time was nothing new. But this was different. You couldn't meet his eyes and he had caught you staring at him and Zelda as if you were about to cry before. He was at a loss and now he needed to figure things out for himself.
However he wasn't quite ready for the answer.
"I saw you and Zelda together."
His throat closed up. He wanted to say so many things. How sorry he was. How he wished he could have told you himself. How he wished he could hold you and forget how complicated things were.
"it's okay." Now that, he wasn't expecting. "I thought I could be mad at you. Both of you. But I guess... It just makes sense." You sniffled softly. You really didn't want to do this. You hated that it had to be you who gave up. But we're you really going to fight? No. As much as it tore your heart into pieces, you would stand aside for them. "I wish that things hadn't changed but, clearly you don't feel the same anymore and I don't want to hold you back. I love you. So much. But I don't deserve this, and I won't put either of us through the trouble. I hope you two are happy together Link."
As you walked towards your friends to head home Link felt his heart clench. You deserved so much better.
Sidon🦈
You were a princess from another kingdom, betrothed to Prince Sidon of the Zora. We all know how these things go, neither of you were all that fond of the idea but you would go through with it. For your kingdoms
You tried to be as understanding as possible of the situations, knowing that the prince was just as trapped as you were. So you played along with your parents wishes.
You two went on dates and spent time together, getting closer and closer until finally you kissed him.
Things were great. You were planning your wedding and enjoying the time you spent with your fiance as you prepared for your future
It wasn't until a few days before the wedding when you were trying on your dress that things fell apart.
Your dressmaker had been in a bad mood, grumbling as they worked and even sticking you with needles a few times. You would have brushed it off as a bad day if not for the facts that they seemed so unapologetic.
You finally brought it up, softly asking if there was something wrong and if you could help. They snapped, going off about how you were ruining the princes life and that he didn't love you and was only marrying you for his kingdom and that he deserved to be happy.
They realized their mistake and left quickly, leaving you alone in your wedding dress with shocked tears slipping down your face.
You later made you way to Sidons office, hoping to clear some things up and maybe seek comfort from the one you loved.
What you didn't expect was to find him already comforting someone. Your dressmaker.
You watched as he whispered sweet nothings and reassurances to them. It was when he said no matter what they were the one that he loved when you broke away.
You stood in your room, packed bags beside you. You knew there were better ways to deal with this. You knew that your kingdom was counting on you and thus marriage. You just couldn't go through with it. Not anymore.
"Y/n?"
You sound around to find the Zora princess standing in your doorway. Mipha had become a close friend in your time in the Zora domain, even feeling like family as you worked closely planning the wedding. She had once told you that you were everything she could hope for in a sister and wife for her brother. You guessed it didn't matter in the end.
Finally you choked out pained words "I can't... I just... I can't do this anymore."
"If you are feeling nervous, I can assure you my brother would never hurt you."
This made you laugh. It was cold, similar to the ice creeping into your veins. "He would. And he did." You cut off Mipha's confusion, wringing a hand through your hair, "Sidon is in love with someone else. I made every effort to work through this engagement despite our... rocky beginning. But he didn't choose me back. He never wanted me, and I won't ruin his chance to be happy."
The room was silent after your outburst. You only noticed the tears when your friend wiped them from your eyes. She offered you a small smile, sharing the pain you felt. She was losing you and still understood it was best for you. You needed to move on and save yourself from a life of pain. A life of being chosen second.
"I hope one day we can meet again, sister."
You let out a choked mix of a son and laugh. Hugging the princess before you grabbed your bags and walked out the door, out of the kingdom that stole your heart and crushed it in its hands.
"I love you, always."
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messers-moony · 3 years
Text
Pretty Face | S.B
Paring: Young!Sirius Black X Fem!Reader
Summary: Sirius takes his girlfriend to his family home and Walburga takes out all her pent up jealousy out on her. 
Inspiration: Click
Walburga Black didn’t have the life every girl dreamed about. She always dreamed of an extravagant wedding with the man of her dreams. Perhaps a tall man with a sweet personality. One to take care of her when she had a bad day at work. But that was not the life she got. 
Instead, Walburga Black had an arranged marriage with her cousin Orion. The wedding was extravagant, but she definitely wasn’t marrying the man of her dreams. Sure he was tall, with dark hair and gleaming grey eyes, but he wasn’t sweet. He was quite the opposite. He had a tongue of silver, and his brutal words brought a knife to her heart. 
Waking up to Orion was like waking up on Christmas Day alone. You can feel it; it’s so close, but yet it’s never quite right. The feeling of loneliness is there, and it never fades. Walburga was beautiful, or at least she thought so. Beautiful thick raven hair and eyes bluer than the sky, cheeks full and colored. If she was this beautiful, then why did she deserve this cruel of a fate. 
Pressure is the worst motivator. Walburga’s mother - Irma - pushed her and Orion to have children before she couldn’t carry them. Irma wanted grandchildren, and Walburga needed to produce an heir before; for some reason, she couldn’t. The Black family name needed to continue and get passed down. 
As a result of Orion and Walburga’s parent's pressure, she got pregnant with their first child. She hated this. She hated knowing that this child would grow up without a loving parental relationship. Orion and Walburga couldn’t love each other. They just couldn’t. But she wished that for her unborn child, they could. 
After much debate, they decided to name him Sirius Orion Black the Third. Sirius was the brightest star in the Canis Major - the dog constellation. His middle name was a regular hand-me-down. Most boys got their middle name from their fathers first, and most girls got theirs from their mothers first. 
Sirius was the most beautiful baby boy. Maybe she was biased, but she thought he was gorgeous. His skin was beautiful porcelain, and his eyes were so bright, energetic, and full of life. Something Walburga used to have but no longer did. He was her pride and joy—his little giggles and his voice when he began to talk. Sirius Black would be her everything - her one reason. 
But eventually, that one reason would become two. She was pregnant again. While her first pregnancy, she felt entirely alone. Now she had Sirius, and he was so sweet. During days where Walburga didn’t feel like getting out of bed, leaving Orion to take care of him, Sirius would sneak away to spend time with his momma. Sirius would crawl to the side of the bed and poke her until she held him in her arms. 
He would lay on his side and snuggle his back into her chest. Walburga would place her hand on his stomach, placing the covers over them both. She couldn’t believe how lucky she got. Orion was god awful, but her son was everything. 
Nine months later, Regulus Arcturus Black. His first name was a star in the Leo constellation, while his middle name was inherited from his Grandfather. The same pale skin as Sirius and sparkling silver eyes. She now had two reasons to continue. Her little boys, till the end. 
It wasn’t until both boys were five when Irma had a talk with Walburga about how they should be raised. Personally, Walburga thought they were the perfect little boys. Okay, sometimes they would break something, but that was normal, wasn’t it? They were boys, and they cause a ruckus. Sirius had tuffs of straight black raven hair. Regulus’ hair was wavier but still held the dark color. 
Of course, they knew their manners. Saying titles such as ‘ma’am’ and ‘sir,’ but apparently, that wasn’t enough in Irma’s eyes. They needed to sit straight, only speak when spoken to, begin their studies and stop being childish. But they were children. They’re supposed to be children. 
Irma did the cruelest thing when this was brought up by saying that if Walburga didn’t straighten her boys up, they’d be banned from the Noble House of Black. So she tried. But Sirius and Regulus were already so in their roots that trying to get them to stop was damn near impossible. So she resulted in using spells as punishments. 
By the age of seven, they were terrified of their mother. Walburga thought that Orion’s words could hurt her, but nothing hurt more than seeing her boys cower at the sight of her. She so badly wanted to cup their cheeks and give them kisses all over. She tried to baby them. She wanted them to have a childhood. But that couldn’t happen when you’re in the Noble House of Black. 
So why did she feel this way? Was it envy? Was it jealousy? Why did she hate it when Sirius brought his girlfriend home? 
Walburga couldn’t deny it. The girl was gorgeous. Her hair was silky smooth, rid of all tangles. Eyes of hypnotizing e/c. She seemed shy but still managed to be formal—greetings with the titles of ‘ma’am’ and ‘sir.’ 
Sirius was fourteen, him getting a girlfriend was bound to happen. He only got more good-looking as he grew up.  His hair got longer, and his face became more defined. Not to mention how tall he got. He was taller than Walburga now. Her baby boy, who used to snuggle with her, was no longer such a baby. Of course, Walburga had scolded him for being in Gryffindor, but in reality, she was proud of him. 
This girl - Y/n - was in Slytherin. She wasn’t a pureblood, in fact, she was a half-blood. But regardless, she was a Slytherin. Perhaps that could do some good for Sirius. Maybe Walburga wouldn’t have to ban him from the family-like Irma kept telling her to. Even as an old woman, she was a pain in the ass. 
They all made it to the dining room, and Sirius pulled out Y/n’s chair, gently pushing her in. It made Walburga grit her teeth. Why couldn’t Orion show some decency when around guests? Why didn’t Orion do that? Is this what she’s been missing the entire time? She tried to swallow it as they began eating. 
Y/n wiped her mouth with her napkin, “Thank you, Mrs. and Mr. Black, for this meal. It’s terrific.”
Walburga did nothing to acknowledge her. It dampened Y/n’s mood a tad, not knowing what she had done to tick them off. Sirius reached his hand under the table, intertwining their fingers together. With his thumb, he drew hearts and smiled wildly. Their love made Walburga sick to see her son with that dopey smile on his face. 
Regulus made conversation first after minutes of the awful silence, “So, Y/n, I saw you talking with Pandora and Marlene before the break. Are you guys friends?”
“Mhm.” Y/n nodded, “Pandora is so sweet. She’s astute too.”
“Well, she is in Ravenclaw, makes sense.” Regulus shrugged, “What about Marlene?”
“Oh, well, we practice Quidditch together even if we’re on opposing teams.” Y/n answered, “Normally, someone else will join us like James or Nick, so Marlene throws the Bludgers at us while we throw the Quaffle around. It helps us learn how to dodge.”
Regulus had stars in his eyes, “That’s brilliant!” 
“Thanks. You can always join us if you’d like.”
“I’d love to.”
Y/n smiled warmly at him as Walburga spoke up for the first time that night, “So, you and your friends hang out often?” Her tone sounded condescending. 
“We do.” Walburga gritted her teeth, “I hang out with Leia the most, though. She’s been with me since the first year.”
“You guys must go out every night.”
She chuckled, “No, ma’am. Most of the time, Leia and I study. Sometimes Sirius and I sneak out to Hogsmeade, though.”
Sirius smiled as Y/n nudged him with her shoulder, gently kissing the top of her head, “You guys don’t have a care in the world, do you?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You’re ruining the Black family name.” Walburga snapped, “All you have is a pretty face. You’re too happy and pretty for this family.”
Sirius tightened his grip on Y/n’s hand, “You shouldn’t get to choose who you marry. You’re in Slytherin. You get an arranged marriage.”
“Mum, I think that’s-“
“No!” She yelled, and both boys flinched, “You’re so pretty, aren’t you, doll? That doesn’t even matter in the grand scheme of things.”
“Looks mean nothing.” Walburga growled, “One day, Sirius will find better, and he’ll cheat on you because that’s all he’s ever seen.”
Sirius stood up abruptly, “That’s enough!”
“Walburga!” Orion shouted, and they turned to him, “Leave the girl alone.”
Walburga hmphed and sat back down in her seat. Y/n was flabbergasted, trying to digest everything that had just been said to her. Sirius was glaring daggers at his mother. That was improper and awful behavior. He wished that Y/n didn’t have to witness it. After dinner was over, they went up to Sirius’ room, where he packed a bag of some stuff, and they left to go to Y/n’s house. 
Sirius had met Y/n’s parents prior, and they were so kind to him. It’s where he usually went over winter and Easter break. That night hon of them had gotten ready for bed. Sirius was in a hoodie and sweatpants. Y/n was wearing his Quidditch jersey and shorts. 
Both of them slipped under the comforter of Y/n’s bed, and Sirius’ arms went around her waist, pulling her back close to his chest, “I’m sorry for earlier.”
“It’s not your fault, Siri.” Y/n rubbed his hands, “You told me it was a bad idea, but I insisted anyway.” 
“That’s because it’s normal to meet the parents.” Sirius sighed, “Mine just aren’t normal.”
Y/n turned to face him; his face looked crestfallen; she cupped his cheek, “Your parents were forced together. There was never any love in their marriage. That’s what makes them different. I think your mum saw us together and was jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“Has your dad ever pulled out a chair for her?”
Sirius shook his head. 
“Has he ever held your mum’s hand?”
Another shake.
“Kissed her?”
“Not by choice.”
“She’s jealous because you do all those things for me. You’re a gentleman, and she hates that.” Y/n replied, “She wanted a man like you to love her, but she never got that.”
Sirius kissed her palm, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Y/n kissed his forehead, pulling his head to her chest, “I promise I’ll love you till the end.”
He kissed her neck in thanks, “Get some rest, puppy.”
982 notes · View notes
soloalfie · 2 years
Text
As you teach, you learn
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Another part of the original draft. I know uploading just parts of a longer piece  in no particular order is such a chaos. I really don’t know how to write in chronological order. I just have a long draft with a thousand notes and links and a vague idea of how to connect them, the plot is my head but I’m really struggling to develop it. I don’t have a method or a habit so I work on them in a very messy way. However, I think they can also be read individually, so I’ll keep uploading them this way instead of waiting to have them all done. Hopefully, if I get to finish it someday, I will edit it as the a slow burn it was meant to be. In the meantime, here you have a piece involving injured Alfie. 
No smut or fluff, they’re still building bridges...
word count: 3k words
As you teach, you learn
Days and months had gone by since he left you standing confused, scared and speechless on the pavement in the early spring. You really didn’t know what to expect from him in such a situation, but the fact that he let you go back home by yourself bruised and scared after getting in trouble to help him, totally took you aback. However, it was the way he had spoken that you found more frustrating. After spending a great deal of time dissecting his words, you were unable to fathom his message. Should you take it as a warning or a threat? Even the tone of his voice had been so ambiguous. Whether it was a sibylline prophecy of doom or a devious threat, his narrative of Lot’s wife had you mesmerized. He was ever such an enigmatic man and deep inside you loved that. The less you understood him, the more you wanted to figure him out. 
On the other hand, the strong independent woman you had become had promised herself not to make it into a big thing. After everything you had gone through in the past few years, you were adamant about your emotional and economic self-sufficiency. Willing and perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, you did your best to scrape out a living in the tough streets of London. 
Your job as a nurse at the hospital kept you busy a good part of your time but since you usually felt quite energetic, you would spend your spare time in a million activities in order to dodge boredom but mostly your own thoughts. One of the many consequences you had to face when you returned from France was the fact that living an ordinary life was no longer an option. Everything felt meaningless and empty and the thrill seeker inside you crave for action. The war put you into perspective of what is worth, changed your priorities, you didn’t care about dresses and whims anymore and you’d never waste your life again with someone who wouldn’t let you be free. All things considered, you regret more what you never did because of the lack of courage, than the mistakes you had made.
That’s why you threw caution into the wind the evening you decided to get involved in Mr. Solomons’ business putting yourself at risk without a second thought. Your thirst for extreme feelings was insatiable to say the least. 
In spite of this intense activity, more frequently than not, you kept finding yourself trying not to linger in those recurrent daydreams in which you shared an exciting life with the man. It was always him, the image of his broad figure dressed in black, eyes covered by the wide brim of his hat, didn’t cease to chase you. You couldn’t shake off the image of those impious eyes staring at you the last time you had talked. His plump lips, buried under a messy dark blonde beard. During the daytime, you would volunteer for different causes, taught nursery to young girls, spent hours in the library reading books and research papers, enjoying the hustle and bustle of the big city. Any distraction would do it, but at the end of the day, when you passed by the bakery on your way home, you couldn’t help but take a look inside with the hope of seeing him through the windows. Although you just had talked a couple of times and even if you thought he had been dismissive and ungrateful to you, he had brought the promise of new exhilarating experiences to your life the very moment you saw him crossing the bakeshop backdoor with a gun in his hand, so you kept passing by again and again, trying to figure out the mixed feelings he elicited from you. 
 ____________
If only you knew what he was raking over. Oh, he knew. He kept a record of your movements, tracked you from a distance. Nothing unusual, taking into account the nature of his occupation. He was informed of every single event in the area, every detail, every person. That’s how he got to be a step ahead of enemies and rivals. But finding new opportunities for business and avoiding inconvenient situations wasn’t by far the only reason that encouraged such attention to your person. There was something else about you. He was very aware of it. What was the true reason of this genuine interest in you, he still didn’t know (or maybe he wasn’t willing to admit it to himself), but all the details he had gathered about you weren’t enough to satisfy the boundless curiosity of this man. You tried to keep a low profile and you were modest in your looks, measured in your habits and yet, you glowed. There was something in your attitude, your curiousness, you seemed to be passionate about life, always trying to comprehend everything around you. You were eager to live as many experiences as possible, fearlessly eager to get everything that life could offer you. And he absolutely loved that. He wasn't a man of excess, at least not in his habits. Not apparently.  He didn’t taste the drink, didn’t gamble, he didn’t spend great amounts of money on commodities, it was pretty obvious if you looked at him, the way he dressed, his environment. His attire was everything but fancy, each individual garment was akin to a uniform he wore as an extension of his crooked profession. He might indulge himself once in a while, and he really appreciated certain luxuries such as an exquisite piece of jewelery but this hobby met more his collector and businessman spirit rather than a need for showing off. He seemed to be a man of simple tastes so you presumed it was power that moved him to the business. To know that no other man would ever be above him to make him kneel. One of the few times you had seen him in the Free Russian Library of Whitechapel, you remembered him saying: “As a baker, I occasionally sell bread. As a bookmaker I occasionally let the fastest horse win. As a landlord I occasionally have a roof fixed. But mostly, I find it is quicker and it is easier to deal with the complainant, right, rather than deal with the complaint.” 
In other occasion, while you were queueing to buy some bread you wondered who was he speaking with when you heard his voice coming from the back room: “Every time I got stomped down, yeah, I fucking stomped back up again, mate. I survived out of spite and instead of learning how to fight, I learned how to put right the wrongs done unto me tenfold, a hundred…a thousandfold, yay, unto the fucking stars, right, by using the bit of my body that God had cleverly put inside a strong bone box so the kicks and the digs could not reach it”. 
You might be perfectly wrong, but those brief encounters with him allowed you to get a sense of him. Power was the end, you thought, and a weird combination of harshness and wisdom were the means. That wasn’t, though, his only motivation. The word on the street was that a good part of the benefits he obtained through his many shady business was designated for charitable use among the Jewish community. Although he had lost any trace of religiosity years ago, left his beliefs and hopes in the trenches, buried under a thousand corpses, he was a man fond of traditions who held a strong sense of belonging and he was proud of his roots. Whenever he felt lost or weak he clung to his culture and his people. It provided him an identity and it was enough to avoid the solitude and alienation in this world. It was his compass and his home.
Yes, he was intriguing, to say the least. Unreachable, you reckoned. But if you only knew, all of this aside, that this urge to know more about him was actually reciprocal. In addition, an inconvenient need to keep you safe was beginning to grow inside of him against his will, which was probably why he was so reluctant to interact while he tried to figure out how to deal with it.
_________________
Coming back home from work on a cold winter night, tiny snowflakes floated in the air and you hurried up to get to the warmth of your small but cozy apartment when you saw him leaving the bakery through the back door. You couldn’t help but stop and stare and you froze up at the sight. The tough gangster was now hunched over, you noticed he could barely walk, his hefty body shrinking and grimacing with pain, he rested his back on the dirty brick wall slowly sliding down to the floor. As you observed astonished the scene, he slowly took his right hand out of his black heavy coat and looked at it. Even from a distance, you realized his palm was covered in a red liquid. Shocked, you sealed your mouth to silence a whimper and without thinking twice, you ran to him. 
“Mr. Solomons!”- you said, trying not to be too loud and without bothering to check on the wound, since you knew very well by the amount of blood in his hand and the fact that it flew from his abdomen that he needed urgent medical attention, you added -“Stay here, I’ll go get some help right now, you need an ambulance��-, but he grasped your wrist tightly and looked up to you: 
“Don’t”- he warned you, “a sign of God you are, yeah, showing up right in this fuckin’ moment. How fortunate is to be found by a nurse who can keep her mouth shut and treat my wounds? Fuckin’ biblical, mate, so let’s keep this incident apocryphal, a’ight?”. 
You looked at him in disbelief but despite his tone, he was speaking hundred per cent seriously.
“I’m a doctor, actually” you said with resignation, “see if we can get home, I live near here”. He surely knew about that but the thought of him digging into you vanished as soon as you put his arm over your shoulder and attempted to lift him up. The man was heavy as hell and you doubted if you would be able to get home, but he took his cane with his other hand and resting his weight on you, he managed to stand up and walk together to your place. Although the distance from the bakery was short, the route seemed to be endless and just when you reached the door to your flat a sudden shout coming from behind startled you: “Mr. Solomons!!” an alarmed voice made him look over his shoulder. “Ishmael”, he replied. Apparently, the young lad was one of his men and you felt a slight relief because you were going to need all the help you could get.
As soon as you crossed the threshold, you took off his coat, hat and cane and it was only then that you realized the gravity of the injury. A huge red stain in his white shirt revealed how much blood he might have lost and he was alarmingly pale, cold beads of sweat covering his forehead. 
“Is there any chance to get any sort of sanitary materials?” You said heading for the table in the living room to take off everything on it so you could use it to examine his wounds properly. 
“Make a list” he muttered, his voice sounding more and more weak as time went by, “Ishmael, will you get it please?”, to what the steady man nodded. How and where he would access medical equipment, you didn’t know, but once you had the flat surface clean, you turned to Alfie, who was sitting heavily on a chair giving instructions to the lad in a low voice and you started to give orders: 
“All right, Mr. Solomons, I need you to lay down here so I can check on your injuries”-. 
“It is Alfie, dear. The situation calls for it, don’t ya think?”-, he said as he sat on the table with the help of the young man.
Holding the back of his neck to help him lay down, you placed your coat under his head in order to give him a little comfort and asked his man to light the fireplace in your bedroom, bring the scissors you kept in the kitchen and get a piece of paper to write down a list of the things you were going to need. The grunts coming out from Alfie’s mouth made him look so vulnerable that you felt a deep angst crawling up your throat but you had to live up to your billing and you quickly managed to pull yourself together. You just looked at him confidently and taking his hand you told him: “let’s take a look at it”. 
Having washed your hands thoroughly, you started to cut all the blooded fabric layers, slowly revealing his broad chest. Fully dressed, it would’ve been impossible to tell if his bulged figure was actually muscle or fat, but as you gradually removed his ruined clothes, gently uncovering his chest, well-defined muscles revealed, his pectorals rising and falling with difficulty. You tried not to stare, focusing on the location and size of the injury, but some scars on his wet skin caught your attention, making you wonder what sort of stories underlay them. Indeed, a stab wound in the umbilical region was now fully exposed. Contrary to what you had initially thought, it didn’t seem to be too deep and you felt optimistic. Even if you had graduated with honours, you soon directed your career to the research field and you never had the chance to practise as a doctor. However, the knowledge acquired as a student along with your valuable experience as a nurse at the front, made you fully competent for the task you were about to perform. 
Pressing firmly with your index and middle fingers next to his Adam’s Apple you checked his vital signs, his pulse rate was irregular and weak but it was there. Gently palpating his thorax, you held your breath, pondering on the possible diagnosis and treatments but time was of the essence and making the wrong decision could be a matter of life and death. As far as you remembered,  an internal hemorrhage was the main cause of early death in abdomen wounds when you served as an army nurse at the military hospital but the procedure to assess the damage in vital organs was risky, especially if it was going to be performed at home without proper medical assistance and equipment. There was a good chance of having complications from the surgery and you decided to dismiss the laparotomy after further explorations. You’d keep an eye on him for the next hours so in case of any sign of sepsis you could quickly call for an ambulance against his wish. Hoping that it was a simple penetrating wound without any vital organs affected you started to list every possible thing you would need to deal with the situation: a stethoscope, wound dressing, sterile sutures, antiseptics, morphine, novocaine…One by one, Ishmael took good note of every item and ran out in search of them. 
As soon as you heard the door slam and you two were left alone, you looked at him making visual contact. Alfie remained silent but conscious and stared directly into your eyes. The intimacy of the moment took you by surprise and you hurried to get a clean cloth to block  the wound. Taking his hands, you placed them over it and asked him to press while you looked for a blanket to keep him warm. After covering his body with the fabric, you slid skilled fingers under it, unlacing one of his black cap-toe leather work boots and taking it off, then the other. Getting closer to him, who kept track of everything you did with his gaze, you did the same with his belt, unfastening it delicately so as not to hurt him. He might be too weak to speak but the bastard wasn’t willing to stop staring and give you a break. Carefully, you took off his trousers, always under the blanket in order to keep him warm but mostly to avoid making the situation more awkward than it already was. But far from making him uncomfortable and in spite of the pain he would surely be enduring, you would’ve sworn a barely perceptible smirk flashed under his beard.
You didn’t mean to stress him out or to be nosy but you wondered why and who had done that to him. Given his background, sure he had made a thousand enemies over the years but you’d like to know if this was somehow related to the man you tried to get some information from and his boss, Darby Sabini. Anyone could have done it. Alfie Solomons was said to run his business with thread and relentless violence and as the Jewish proverb states, “as you teach, you learn”. Engrossed in these thoughts, his thick cockney accent startled you:
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“Who are ya, hmm?” - he blurted out, narrowing his eyes. You turned to him, 
“I don’t know anymore, to be honest. I don’t know what I came for but I’m looking for a cause”-
“You’re not looking for anything, sweetie, that I doubt. You’re just running away and it shows, yeah. Just like Adit leaving Sodom”. Again, he was referring to the story of Lot’s wife. His comment left you thinking. He was probably right. You’d heard he could read people and you quickly understood why. Laying there, injured, weak and semi-naked, even in that miserable state, he made you feel as defenseless and desirable as an open book. 
“I’m not looking back, though. May the bridges I burned light the way” you replied when you suddenly heard Ishmael knocking on the door.
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sierraraeck · 3 years
Text
How to Apologize
Spencer x Luke x Fem!Reader
Masterlist
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Summary: You can’t believe that for the four months since you’ve joined the team, and have been relentlessly flirting with the two hot agents, no one thought to tell you that they were together. Luke and Spencer decide they should apologize to you with an impromptu, late-night visit.
Category: Smut. Essentially pwp. A little fluff and a dash of angst if you squint.
Warnings: Cussing. Alcohol mentioned. Fingering (vaginal and anal), oral (male and female receiving), protected penetration, double penetration. Use of condoms and lube.
Word Count: 5.2k
A/N: Welcome back to episode three of me being in love with Ralvez. I’ve just really been in a mood for them lately, so I hope you enjoy what my mind comes up with when I just keep thinking about them ;)
You’ve got to be shitting me.
You couldn’t believe it. Luke and Spencer were together, and had been for over a year now. You’d only been on the team for about four months, all of which you spent unabashedly flirting with both of them.
Everyone knew it, too. It wasn’t like you were particularly quiet about expressing how much you enjoyed their company, and how easy they were on the eyes. It was fun for you, and you thought it was fun for them. They both seemed kind of into it, and the team found it a little funny.
Now you’re understanding why they found it funny. Because the whole time, you’d been embarrassing yourself by flirting with taken men. And they weren’t just taken. They were dating each other.
“You’re joking,” you said, with absolutely no humor. You were sitting on a barstool looking around at the shit-eating grins around you. They all shook their heads.
Your mouth was agape, “You’re fucking joking. You all saw this happening and not one of you had the decency to tell me!? This is bullshit!”
This just caused more laughter to erupt around you. Luckily, the bar you were at was pretty noisy, so not too much attention was drawn to your group.
“Honestly?” Emily started, “We just wanted to see, you know, as a profiler, how long it’d take you to figure it out.”
“And we,” Luke hopped in, gesturing to him and Spencer, “Wanted to see how well we could control our microexpressions.”
“This is some shit,” you mumbled to yourself, still wrapping your head around what was being said. You were trying to be light-hearted about it, and you had to admit it was a pretty good one they pulled on you, but you still felt a little insulted. And embarrassed. Oh god, you felt really embarrassed. Especially now that you knew they were ‘testing your skills’ or something, and you weren’t good enough to pick up on their relationship. You offered a disbelieving smile and shook your head. “You know what? I’m disinviting myself from this, and I’m going to go home, because otherwise… Actually let’s not talk about what would be happening otherwise.” The whole team gave you some strange looks at that comment, and you just took a deep breath and said, “Okay, I’m just gonna go.”
“Hey, Y/N, wait!” Tara called after you. You turned to face her. “We meant no harm by it!”
You laughed and acknowledged, “Oh, I know! I just think that maybe I should do a little mental detox now that I know I need to cool it.” You winked, trying to make everything calm and casual so that there would be no weird feelings when you returned to work on Monday.
But you definitely had weird feelings. About the deliberate joke that led you down a very deep rabbit hole, about the fact that you couldn’t just ‘detox’ the two men from your mind, and about how long they let the joke mess with your feelings.
It didn’t matter, though, because Spencer and Luke were together, and the last thing you wanted to do was make things complicated.
You were seated on your couch with a glass of wine watching reruns of your favorite show when you heard a knock at the door. You were in your pajamas, a navy tank top with matching shorts, and had been home for nearly two hours. It was a little past midnight, and you were actually about to go to bed. You couldn’t figure out who was at your door, and why the hell they’d be there past midnight, but one look through the peephole gave you clarity.
Two tall, handsome, nervous figures stood, waiting for you to answer. You sighed, unlocking the bolt and pulling the door open. You had the slightest idea to grab a jacket or something to throw on over your pajamas, but you were no longer trying to impress the agents before you.
“Hey guys,” you croaked, voice sounding tired.
Spencer and Luke were still acting a bit nervous, but Luke gave you a small smile. “Hey Y/N. May we come in?”
You gave them a once over, realizing they were both in large, matching, burgundy robes. You were confused, and gave them a strange look, but stepped to the side regardless. They quickly scampered into your apartment.
Once inside, Luke shut and locked the door, standing in front of it. You waited for them to say something.
Instead, they looked at each other, took a deep breath, then undid their robes, dropping them to the floor. They were completely and utterly naked.
“Oh, fuck,” you whispered, unable to peel your eyes away from the two of them.
They both smirked slightly at your reaction, and Spencer brought your attention back to his eyes when he said, “We figured we needed to apologize.”
All you could manage was a weak ‘uh-huh.’
“As long as you were serious about some of the things you said-” Luke started.
“And were actually flirting with us because you liked us-” Spencer continued.
“We wanted to show you that we were serious and flirting with you, too,” Luke concluded.
Again, all you got out was an ‘uh-huh.’ They looked at you expectantly, so you picked your jaw up off the floor and forced your brain to say something more helpful. “Yes, I was dead serious, yes, I was actually flirting with you, and, to answer your next question, yes.”
“The last yes was for what?” Luke half-teased.
“Whatever the fuck is happening right now,” you gestured to their bare forms, “yes.” They both laughed slightly, and just as Spencer was about to take a step toward you, you held up your hand. “Hold on, wait. I know you said you were serious, but is this something the two of you actually want, or is this just out of pity?” you asked skeptically.
Luke’s eyes went wide, “We actually want this.”
At the same time, Spencer said, “This is not out of pity.”
They seemed sincere, and that was good enough for you.
This time when Spencer stepped toward you, you didn’t stop him. His lips latched on to yours, and you immediately sank into his warmth. His lips were soft and his tongue was energetic, searching every part of your mouth it could reach. Luckily for you, he was already stark naked, giving you free reign to explore his bare chest.
As Spencer was exploring your mouth, Luke came up behind you and started lifting your shirt off your frame. His hands felt nice, just barely brushing up against your cold sides. You and Spencer had to part, but only for a moment, as Luke pulled your shirt over your head and tossed it to the side.
You already felt like you couldn’t breathe, but when Luke seductively trailed his fingers up your sides and around between you and Spencer to start toying with your nipples, you thought you might never breathe again. Spencer started kissing down the column of your throat, sucking slightly at each point. Without Spencer’s mouth to absorb the sound, they could both hear the small gasps and whimpers you made at each touch.
Luke was firmly at your back, his hot chest pressed up against your shoulder blades, or maybe the fire radiating from them was all in your head, you couldn’t quite tell. Spencer wrapped his arms around your back, and pulled you all the way to him, leaving barely any room for Luke’s fingers to continue their ministrations. You made a snarky remark in your head about how you weren’t surprised about Spencer’s possessiveness, until he reached behind you. Luke groaned in your ear shortly after Spencer squeezed your ass and continued his trail to the growing bulge behind you. Spencer was quite good at multitasking. Kissing, sucking, stroking… That didn’t surprise you, however. You knew how fast his mind could work, and how it always seemed to be thinking about multiple things at once.
It didn’t really surprise you either that Luke was less good at multitasking. Still amazing, but not like Spencer. With that in mind, you decided to turn the attention of the group a little bit. You turned in Luke’s now still arms, back against Spencer’s chest. You gave Spencer enough room to continue massaging Luke, but you did lean forward enough to plant your lips on his.
Luke’s kiss was different from Spencer’s. His lips were plump and captivating, and his tongue was a bit more languid than Spencer’s, granted that could’ve been because most of his attention was being drawn elsewhere.
“Wait,” Luke panted, pulling away from you. You and Spencer both immediately stopped what you were doing and looked up at him. “Bedroom?”
You tilted your head in the direction of the door down hall, and the three of you moved like it was a mad dash to get there first.
Once inside, Luke’s lips reattached themselves to yours, and he walked you backwards toward the bed, hands on your waist. They traveled lower, over your still-clothed ass, and spread flat on the back of your thighs. Somehow, you knew what he wanted, lacing your fingers together behind his neck and jumping into his sculpted arms. He swiftly strode the rest of the way to the mattress and plopped you down, following quickly with his own body. Your legs were partially wrapped around his middle and his hands were back on your waist again, this time toying with the waistband of your pajama shorts. You had a fleeting thought about how you wished you were wearing any of the cute lingerie pieces in your drawer, but before ten minutes ago, you never thought the situation you were currently in would even be possible, let alone happen. It wouldn’t matter much longer anyways, as Luke’s fingers were pulling away the remaining garments.
Now, completely bare in front of him, Luke pulled back to admire you. Spencer was at his side, also eyeing you, but wasn’t quite as patient. He crawled up the bed, looking you straight in the eye. You nodded to him, your silent consent for him to lower his head, placing delicate kisses all around your neck and chest. He was back to doing what he had only moments ago, only this time he travelled farther down, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth. You took a shuddering breath, weaving your fingers into his shaggy curls.
Luke stood, admiring the sight. His boyfriend was hunched over their mutual crush, drawing the most arousing whines from your mouth. It went straight to his cock. But, while this was definitely a mutual pleasure situation, it was also a way to make it up to you. He wanted to make sure you got all the attention first before going any further.
With that in mind, Luke joined the two of you, his focus a little farther south than Spencer’s. You’d been so caught up in the feeling of Spencer’s tongue and teeth nipping at your peaks that the feeling of Luke’s fingers circling your clit drew a dramatic gasp from your lungs. You tugged a little harder on Spencer’s locks, causing him to moan into your skin. You made a side note to yourself about hair pulling for Spencer for future reference. You were optimistic that you’d need it.
Luke started gradually picking up the pace on your clit as Spencer switched his attention to the neglected breast. You knew that you were already pooling, and despite not being able to see anything past Spencer’s mess of hair, you could tell that Luke was pleased. His index finger circled around your entrance, one, two, three times before pushing in. Your back arched off the sheets, pushing your nipples further into Spencer’s mouth and palm. Your jaw hung open in a silent moan.
Spencer noticed, and teased, “Come on, you’re usually not this quiet when it comes to expressing how much you enjoy our company.”
Luke leaned up, finger still pushing in and out of you, to see your face. He barely caught what Spencer was referencing, as you were trying to snap your jaw shut, and smirked down at you. He turned his head to the side and started kissing up the side of Spencer’s neck, who habitually craned it to the side, providing more access. Luke added a second digit, scissoring them inside you. Spencer hummed happily at the little hickies Luke was scattering all over his neck, and you felt the heat in your belly start to burn. God, it was so fucking hot, in every sense of the word.
Luke curled both of his fingers upwards, hitting that perfect spot, as he latched his lips to Spencer’s. With the combination of the sight and both men’s ministrations, you fell over the edge.
You squeezed your eyes shut, only a little disappointed that you couldn’t continue looking at them, as your lungs expelled any air you had in your chest.
When the waves of pleasure had mostly subsided, you managed to lift your eyelids, peering up at the sight above you. Luke and Spencer were still attached at the mouth, but they pulled away, Spencer laughing a little while Luke just grinned.
“Remind me to always kiss you like that when we have guests,” Luke said to Spencer, then winked at you. You gave a weak shrug, still too blissed out to form coherent sentences. It wasn’t your fault that the two people you’d been fantasizing about kissing on top of you turned you on. No way in hell you were ashamed about it, either.
Still laying there a bit dazed, the fluffy haired boys rolled over, taking all the heat with them. Spencer was hovering over Luke, tracing his tongue down Luke’s defined muscles before reaching his destination.
Spencer wasted no time running his flattened tongue up and down Luke’s length before sucking at the tip. Luke ran his fingers through Spencer’s hair, and both seemed to relax into each other. Despite the explicit sight in front of you, everything about the two of them, clearly starting to drift into their own world, was domestic. Caring and filled with love. You almost didn’t want to disrupt them, but the overpowering need to be near them won out.
Spencer’s lower half was over the edge of the bed, his toes being the only thing holding him up and giving him a vantage point. You slid off the bed yourself and tried to soundlessly move behind the younger man, coming to rest in a squat.
Spencer was getting Luke all worked up, raspy grunts mixing with satisfied hums as Spencer bobbed his head up and down. His movements came to a screeching halt when you leaned up against the foot of your bed and swiped your tongue quickly over Spencer’s tip. He let out a soft whine, muffled by Luke’s skin, who took a sharp inhale at the vibration.
Spencer’s dick was hard and spilling precum as you worked it into your mouth. His hips started moving of their own accord, forcing you to take him deeper, faster. The three of you started a steady rhythm that was already faltering. Both men were getting close.
Propped up only on your toes, you almost lost your balance once, digging your nails into Spencer’s side for support. He growled, and just because you could, you dragged your nails down the rest of his backside. All of the muscles tensed at once, and you smiled as best you could with your mouth full, moving your hands back to work what your tongue couldn’t.
Abruptly, Spencer pulled his hips back from you, and crawled further up the bed. You followed, getting up from your spot on the ground. Your toes, on the brink of cramping, weren’t complaining.
You realized why Spencer had pulled away so quickly, catching Luke coaxing Spencer into his lap. Even though they were in a slightly different position, it didn't stop you from what you’d been doing before.
Right as Spencer got situated on Luke’s cock, just starting to roll his hips, you took Spencer back in your mouth. You had one foot on the ground, the other knee next to Luke’s torso. Spencer was louder than you’d expected, letting curses and praises fly past his lips as if they were statistics of the utmost importance.
Luke was less vocal, but he seemed more coherent. Barely.
“Come here, baby,” Luke panted. Pulling off Spencer for a moment, you looked back at Luke. His face was already glistening, and he was gesturing toward your legs. You lifted the one closest to him, and he eased it over his head. Straddling his face, he pulled you down to him, licking a clean stripe up your slit. You moaned his name, letting your head hang.
He was just so warm. Everything about Luke was warm. His personality, his face, his tongue and mouth and literal body temperature. It made you feel safe. Thinking that, you realized just how perfect he was for Spencer. You could tell Spencer wasn’t someone who experienced warmth very frequently, you’d heard about his cold past, but you were happy that there was finally someone to show him some. It made you feel even more embarrassed that you hadn’t noticed their relationship sooner.
Lost in thought, you’d stopped doing anything besides feeling Luke’s tongue alternate between pushing into you and swirling around your clit, something Spencer was less excited about. His large hand cupped your face, causing you to look up into his pleading eyes. You stifled a giggle at the sight, quickly figuring out why he was looking at you like that. You returned to tracing your tongue up and down his cock, but it was becoming much harder to focus.
Luckily, you could feel how close Spencer was to finishing, and gave him the silent ‘okay’ to finish in your mouth.
Hot ropes of cum filled your throat, and tears pricked the corners of your eyes when Spencer pushed all the way into your mouth. You were gasping for air when Spencer leaned back from you, and so was Luke as he desperately called Spencer’s name. He must’ve been close when Spencer momentarily stopped moving to find his own release.
The pressure between your hips was building as you continued to watch Luke disappear inside Spencer. You started wriggling your hips for more friction against Luke’s mouth and slight scruff, but Luke wouldn’t let you. He wrapped his arms almost completely around your waist, and pulled you down like an anchor. No matter how much moving you did, there would be no getting out of his grasp, not like you really wanted to anyway.
You couldn’t tell which one of you finished first, but your collective moans filled the air all the same. You whined at Luke who continued to lick up every ounce of moisture from you, the sensations starting to become a little too much.
He let you go, and you took a moment or two to deep breathe, forcing oxygen back into your lungs. Once Spencer thought you’d gotten sufficient air, he took it all away from you again, leaning down to kiss you. He tasted himself on your tongue, which only made him relive the fresh memory over again.
He peppered little kisses down your neck and side, which was a tad ticklish. Spencer caught on despite you trying to keep yourself together, noticing the slight flinching in your muscles. He spent extra time working you up until you were laughing and begging him to stop.
Spencer was working his way down to Luke, who’d been absentmindedly massaging your cheeks for no other reason than he wanted to touch your tush.
You weren't sure how, but the two tall men were able to kiss each other around you, Luke sitting up and Spencer leaning forward. He got to taste you off of Luke’s lips, and was almost jealous that he didn’t decide to take Luke’s spot instead.
You leaned into Luke’s chest, resting your head on his shoulder and reaching behind you to thread your fingers through his soft curls, much shorter than Spencer’s but fun to play with nonetheless. They kissed each other with more passion than you’d really ever seen before, one hand touching the other man, their other hand tracing the curves of your body. You felt like you could fall asleep in the exact position you were in, half on Luke’s lap, half on Spencer’s.
But alas, there was still plenty of night to fill. Spencer asked if you had any lube and condoms, and you were about to get up and get them, but both men kept you where you were. You started wondering how much the two of them talked about or planned before showing up at your door, but decided those were questions for a later hour.
You directed Spencer to where both were kept while Luke turned you around to face him. You had a very quick discussion about cleanliness, something you were relieved to find out wasn’t an issue for any party, and Luke was sliding on a condom and pushing into you before you knew it. Pregnancy wasn’t something you were looking for at the moment.
Luke had been doing most of the work up until Spencer returned, his presence really only being a shifting of air behind you. Your eyes were locked on Luke’s eyes which were flicking between you and the man behind you.
It took you all the way up until Spencer’s hip bones came in contact with your ass that you realized what Spencer wanted the lube for. That and the guttural groan that ripped itself from Luke’s chest. At that point, Luke had stilled his thrusts up into you, so you decided to keep the pace, bouncing up and down on Luke’s ever-hardening dick. You braced yourself with a hand on his chest, his skin feeling like it might melt your fingertips.
Spencer snaked his hands around your body, cupping your breast in his hands and rolling your nipples around between his fingers. Spencer, you were convinced, had bad circulation, feeling colder than you and Luke. You arched your back into him regardless, giving him full access to nip down your neck as he continued to pound into Luke. You had barely noticed the slowing of your hips atop Luke’s until Spencer placed his hands on your waist with a bruising grip. He set a much faster pace for you and Luke than either of you had set before, but you couldn’t be mad. Each thrust pushed you further and further toward the edge.
That all stopped when Spencer lightly leaned you over Luke’s body, Luke gladly accepting by pulling you even closer, wrapping his arms around your back. The three of you were still moving, but only in the slightest way you could from your positions.
With your face buried in Luke’s neck, reveling in the momentary reprieve of a slower pace, Luke must’ve been looking at Spencer who was tracing all sorts of patterns on your ass. You felt like there was a silent conversation you were being left out of.
You were clued in when Spencer traced a single finger right over your puckered hole, all the muscles contracting at the sudden contact. Luke whined at the tension, as he was still completely sheathed inside you.
Spencer lightly continued his tracing, close but not too close, as he leaned over your back and asked, “Is it okay if I touch you here?” He emphasized his words with another swipe over your hole. This time, you were a bit more prepared.
You twisted your neck around to look at Spencer’s face. It was soft and questioning, showing you that, while he was interested, he clearly wasn’t going to do anything you didn’t want to. But you were intrigued. You’d only ever tried it once before with a definitely straight man, and it was just medium. Nothing you had really considered doing again until now, but you trusted Spencer. And honestly, who better to give it a second chance with than someone who knew what he was doing? Not only that, but frequently participated in it with his boyfriend?
You nodded, looking him straight in the eyes. “Yes.”
“Let us know if you are ever uncomfortable or need us to stop,” Luke reminded.
You turned your attention back to him and nodded again. “I will.”
Now with confirmation from you, Spencer dripped some of your lube at the top of your ass, watching it roll all the way down to where you and Luke were connected. Luke had stopped moving completely, and you were staying still enough for Spencer to slowly push a finger into you. He confirmed with you one more time that you were okay, which you assured him you were, before he started moving.
He was nice and slow to start, allowing you time to adjust to the feeling. As Luke started rocking back and forth with his hips, Spencer added a second finger, scissoring them to help stretch you out. You hissed at the added pressure.
Both men started moving a bit faster, pulling gasps out of you faster than you could bring air back in. You were surprised that you whined when Spencer removed his fingers, not realizing how much you were actually enjoying yourself. You felt empty with the loss of contact, but didn’t have to worry for long when the familiar ‘pop’ of the lube cap let you know it had been opened.
A few moments later and Spencer was filling you up at a tantalizing pace. Luke slowed again, allowing you time to adjust to the new sensations. The man at your back pulled clean out of you, drawing yet another whimper, as the one below you placed his firm hands on you back and rolled the two of you to the side.
Spencer was at your back again, already pushing back into you as Luke pulled your top leg over his hips, giving both men better access.
It started out slow and sensual, but gradually turned into something desperate and frantic. Hands were groping over bodies, mouths were attaching themselves to any lips or skin available. Spencer was massaging your tits from behind and Luke hand his arms draped over your hips to bring you closer to him with each thrust by your ass. The three of you were a mess of limbs and moans, each trying to meet your end.
Spencer came first, sloppy thrusts coming to a halt behind you, and tried to muffle his groans in the flesh of the base of your neck. It didn’t help much. You were right behind him, the brutal pace they had been pounding into you becoming too much. You were worried you might have blown Luke’s eardrum out with how closely you were screaming next to him, a sound your neighbor was sure to mention when filing a complaint you couldn’t care to feel guilty about.
You and Spencer were floating down from your highs, but Luke wasn’t as satisfied. He pulled out of you, cold air hitting your body and sending a shock through your system. His lips were on yours quickly, which had you melting again.
He growled in that deep voice of his about turning you around, which made you feel all tingly until he actually did it. It took more effort than you care to admit to simply change sides, facing Spencer now. It was good to look at his face again. You had absolutely no problem with Luke’s (who would?), but you wanted to look at them equally. Unfortunately, you weren’t born with eyes in the back of your head.
You were back in the same position you’d been in, just this time your other leg was propped up on Spencer’s more pronounced hip bones and not Luke’s. Spencer quickly took advantage of getting to see your face head on, capturing your lips with his. His tongue slid into your mouth when you gasped at the feeling of Luke entering you from behind. It was a bit easier for him to slide in, Spencer having already stretched you out. Luke joined Spencer as they both kissed down your neck, only stopping briefly to kiss each other.
The slightly younger man trailed all the way down to your breasts, taking your nubs in his mouth or fingers. Luke was still marking up your neck, brushing his fingers down your sides. With each of his thrusts, your heat was grinding against Spencer’s length, which you felt continually get harder. He looked into your eyes and you whispered the few words of your consent, not being able to get anything else out.
He bucked his hips up into yours, having no trouble as you were still wet from your previous orgasm and your impending one. The feeling of the two of them pushing and pulling inside you, hitting different spots from different angles, you knew you weren’t going to last long. It just felt so good to be completely filled up to the hilt.
Needing something to grasp on to, your fingers immediately found Spencer’s curls. You remembered from earlier he seemed to like it, so you tugged, pulling a delicious groan from his pink and puffy lips. You felt Luke’s labored breath on your ear, and with the few brain cells that were still working, you could tell that the three of you were very, very close.
You snapped first, clawing your nails down Spencer’s back, and the feeling seemed to be enough for him. The sound of his love and his crush moaning in harmony pushed Luke over the edge, joining your symphony.
The three of you laid there panting before both men got up to remove their condoms. Luke came back with a towel to wipe you clean of yourself, Spencer putting the lube back where he found it. Luke tossed the towel to the side, laying down next to you. Spencer walked back into your room on slightly shaky legs, which made you smile just a bit. He, too, collapsed next to you. You were able to see all the red marks on his back and thighs from your nails, and you almost felt bad for not spreading the wealth around a little more, only Spencer’s skin receiving the assault.
Soon, all of your breathing reached a normal level, and Spencer pulled the sheets up over his body, Luke helping him get you under, then sliding under himself.
You sighed with content, then laughed, drawing both men’s attention to you, as if it weren’t already. “Wow. You sure know how to apologize.”
They both chuckled with you, cuddling even closer now.
“So was it worth it?” Luke half-teased.
You pretended to think about it, but replied, cheeky, “I mean, you could have told me sooner, but I guess I don’t mind the two of you needing to apologize.” And to be honest, you hoped there’d be more reasons for apologies in the future.
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partlystiles · 3 years
Note
So, I noticed you write for Peter Pettigrew,,, I was wondering if you could write something for him and a female s/o? Where he has to introduce his incredibly shy, Hufflepuff s/o to the other Marauders. Bonus points if she’s short, like 4’11-5’0. You can ignore this if you’d prefer not to write it. Have a wonderful day.
i will always write for my baby. your wish is my command. also sorry if this isn’t what you were imagining!
Young!Peter Pettigrew x fem!reader
summary: For days Peter had been non-stop talking to his friends about his girlfriend and for the life of them, they could never catch him with her. Peter hated getting bothered by them as much as he did so to put them at ease, he arranges an introduction. 
word count: 2,307
warning: swearing. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The hallways of Hogwarts were ones of great architecture and historic stories that the many portraits of old witches and wizards absolutely loved to talk and brag about. Students and ghosts alike walked along the corridors every day without really admiring it apart from when statues liked to jump out at them or portraits grabbed their attention with things varying from manic laughter to noisy singing. It truly was a work of art.
It looked like somewhere royals or people in high society back in the olden days would come to stay for their Honeymoon or just for a small change of scenery and no matter how strict the rules, how tidy the uniforms or how high the expectations, students definitely did not act as tidy or as civilised as a royal or a lady or lord would do.
A prime example would be groups of rowdy teenage boys thinking insulting innocent bystanders or making creepy comments about a girls body would be a proper thing to do in a hallway as grand as the ones in Hogwarts. Another example would be the much rowdier, much more irresponsible pranksters of Hogwarts that rivalled against the other boys in witty comments or just funny circumstances.
You often rolled your eyes at their work or mutter quietly about them under your breath when they passed, practically yelling for the whole corridor to hear unless they were about to pull a prank and whispering which is where you would normally make your leave from that particular corridor. But they seemed to be everywhere you went and you didn’t see why until a particular member of the group approached you in the Kitchens one night when you were getting your midnight snack from the house elves.
He said he liked you which made you look around for maybe a sign of the other boys in wonder if this was some sort of prank. But it wasn’t and he...actually liked you. It definitely didn’t escape your notice that the boy was one of the quiet ones and seemed to be holding his breath when he confessed. Sadly, the confession was right before the summer so all you could do was send letters over the holidays which were slightly awkward. 
More so when you returned to school and found yourself glancing at each other from across the hallways before you turned and scurried off in another direction after smiling. Then he began to join you on your midnight snack journeys which developed into a beautiful relationship full of blushes, grins and soft, gentle kisses stolen before you had to separate.
Pranks your way were avoided and you were practically living in bliss until he proposed that he wanted you to meet his friends. As in the rowdy ones, as in the ones that get all the good scores no matter how hard you try and the ones that always disrupt your reading time in the library.
It was safe to say that you were  nervous because you were nothing like them, loud noises weren’t your thing and you’d much prefer to curl up next to the Black Lake with a book in your hand then join the group of boys in the Great Hall where they probably threw food at each other and if someone else's food ever touched you, you felt like you might be sick. Not to mention the fact that all of them are giants compared to you.
“They are going to love you.” Peter promised, his grip on your hand tight as he tried to drag you down the hallway whilst you planted your feet firmly to the ground. For someone so small, he was amazed at how much you can resist his pull.
“They’re going to hate me.” You argued back attempting to pull him the other way but definitely not succeeding. “I’m awkward and lonely and weird and obsessed with bees which is definitely not normal.”
“It’s cute.” He chuckled, giving up on his pulling but being pulled towards you by your grip when he had given up. You stumbled but he grabbed you arms and stabilised you before you could fall forward and hit the floor. “You’re cute.”
“I am not like them.” You took yourself out of his arms with a mutter, frowning slightly whilst Peter frowned too. “They’re loud and you’ve been friends with them forever and I’m just new. If they don’t like me then we’re gonna...”
“I’m not gonna break up with you if they don’t like you.” Peter shook his head and stepped close, his hand reaching down to tilt your chin up so he was looking down into your eyes. “They’ll love you...I promise.”
“I’m just nervous, I’ve never even thought of being friends with them. They’re just so loud and I...I’m quiet and shy and I stick my face in a book every time they come near me. I just know that they’ll find me weird, Peter.” You covered your face with you hands, shaking your head.
“Oh, baby...” He wrapped his arms around you in a hug and you welcomed it gratefully, hopefully he would listen to you...but no, Peter lifted you up and put you easily over his shoulder as you yelped and kicked your legs. “Come on.”
“Peter, no, please.” You begged as he walked down the corridor with you over his shoulders and consequently receiving a lot of stares which you shyly leant your head on his back to try and get rid of the stares. You were just happy that it was the weekend and you were wearing jeans instead of a skirt. “Pete, please put me down.”
“Not until we’re at the hall and you see how excited they are to meet you.” He laughed as you groaned at him and nuzzled your head into his back as you turned a corner. Your palms were beginning to get sweaty and you felt your breathing pick up slightly at you nervousness.
“Peter, seriously.” Your voice had retreated to a small murmur, no longer were you joking around. You really didn’t think that his friends would like you, they were confident and charming and you were reserved, flustered easily and talked about bees all the time. Hell, in the summer you were in an environmental protest against pollution whilst they were probably having fun swimming somewhere.
“You’ll be fine, angel. We’re here.” He said and slowly lowered you from his shoulder, you nervously glanced around when you noticed you were outside the Great Hall and you looked into it to see the familiar three boys sat at the Gryffindor Table. “Hey.” You looked at Peter again. “I’ll be right there with you. They may be tall and slightly intimidating but they’re nice.”
“Sirius once spilt tea on my book and didn’t apologise.”
“He’s an energetic guy, he probably didn’t notice.” Peter tilted his head and you nodded in acceptance, pursing your lips. When he did it, you didn’t confront him and just moved away mumbling under your breath and shaking out your book. “Ready?”
You hesitated as he took your hand and started walking into the Great Hall, dragging you behind him with a small grin on his face.
“No.” You finally answered, gulping and stepping closer to Peter as you got closer to the three boys flinging pieces of bread at each other.
“Too slow.” Peter grinned back at you, tugging you along and you whined, deciding to catch up to him but walk behind him in an attempt to hide from the others. You were there in no time and tucked yourself behind Peter, hoping that your size would prevent you from being seen. “Hey boys, since you’ve been asking...here she is.”
You only heard silence as you stayed behind Peter, gulping nervously. 
“I fucking knew she was imaginary, I called it.” The voice of Sirius Black came from in front  of Peter before he exclaimed in pain after sounding like he was being hit with something. 
Out of curiosity, you tried to peak out from behind your boyfriends shoulder as little as possible but a pair of soft brown eyes met yours instead and you found yourself frozen in place as you stared straight at Remus Lupin and he raised his eyebrows at you. You slowly went back behind Peter, knowing it was stupid because he’d seen you but you did it anyway, raised eyebrows could mean a million different things.
“She’s not imaginary, Padfoot, she’s just behind him.” Remus said and you shut your eyes in regret as your forehead fell forward and hit Peter’s back whilst he moved out of the way and you were faced with three pairs of eyes staring up at you. “Hi, I’m Remus.”
“James.”
“Sirius, but you can call me anytime.”
Peter took a daily prophet off of the table and hit him on the head with it as Sirius laughed and raised his hands in defence, you smiled awkwardly at it and avoided all eye contact. Your hand squeezed Peter’s slightly and he looked between you and his friends, frowning again.
“This is Y/N L/N, my girlfriend.” He introduced and gestured you forward slightly, you glanced up and gave a small wave at them. James was smiling at you, Remus was smiling only a little bit but mainly just examining you and Sirius narrowed his eyes at you before standing.
He towered over you and you gulped as you tilted your head up and his grey eyes examined you with a small smirk tugging at his lips. You backed up slightly, Peter’s hand on the small of your back as he stroked soft circles with his thumb. You continued to avoid eye contact.
“You are tiny.” He stated and you nodded with a small clear of your throat, your eyes trained to the floor. “Well, to me you are. I’m sure Pete has an easier time since he’s tiny too.”
“5′9 is not tiny.” Peter defended and Sirius snorted, sitting back down at his chair as you breathed out in slight relief and stood awkwardly for a second.
“Take a seat if you like, we don’t bite.” James smiled and you about to tell him that it was okay and you didn’t actually want to be there anywhere but Peter nodded encouragingly at you and you sat opposite Lupin, Peter sitting next to you and putting an arm around your waist to let you know that he was there and close.
“So how did you two meet?” Remus asked, biting a bit of his sandwich as James nodded from next to him, both of their gazes were on you and you could feel Sirius staring at you too. 
You thought Peter was going to answer so you looked up at him but he was looking at you too, nodding his head and he gave your waist a quick squeeze. You gulped and turned your head back around, eyes trained to the table.
“Well, uh, I was getting...a snack at night and then he, uh, came in and yeah...yeah.” You mumbled, clearing your throat slightly and looking up at the boys before back at the table and then back up at the boys. Your hands were fidgeting together under the table and your knee was bouncing.
“You snuck all the way to the kitchens at night without getting caught?” James widened his eyes as he looked around at his friends and you glanced up, back down again and then up one more time. 
“Well, I’m a- I’m a Hufflepuff so my common room is uh...right next to the kitchens.” You nodded slowly.
“Useful.” Sirius said and you glanced at him quickly, furrowing your eyebrows at his narrowed eyes as he looked at you.
“I-I don’t understand...useful for what?” You looked around at them all nervously, Sirius was the one to answer so you looked at him again and found him smirking down at you.
“Pranks.” He shrugged his shoulders, grinning and you gulped again, nodding and smiling awkwardly as you turned your head to Peter who smiled again and rubbed his hand on your waist. “So, Y/N my tiny friends tiny girlfriend, what do you like to do?”
“I’m uh, I’m a passionate advocate for environmental change.” You said, nodding as your eyes found comfort on the table once more. Glancing up once, you caught Remus’ smile as he looked at you and you awkwardly smiled back. “I like to read, anything really no genres. I love exploring different cultures and uh...I like bees.”
“Bees?” James furrowed his eyebrows with a grin as he leaned forward and you nodded awkwardly. “That’s adorable.”
“Why do you like bees?” Sirius laughed. “Is it because they’re yellow and black like your tie?”
“Well, almost 90% of wild plants and 75% of leading global crops depend on animal pollination so they do a lot for us and they look nice on the flowers in my garden.” You said and glanced up to them all smiling at you.
“I’ll have to see your garden sometime.” James mentioned and your eyes snapped over to him as your fidgeting hands slowed down but your knee kept bouncing. “I love flowers. Especially Lilies.”
The boys all laughed and even you managed to crack a small smile at James’ infamous crush on Gryffindor Lily Evans. You felt Peter’s hand squeeze your hip slightly and you looked over at him, your eyes managing to lock in comparison to how you avoided the rest of their gazes. You were sure that your cheeks were flushed at the attention you got but Peter only smiled and kissed your cheek as you scrunched your face up with an adorable smile in his opinion.
“I told you they’d love you.” He whispered into your ear, kissing  your cheek again before you both directed your attention back to Sirius’ talking. 
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BTS Reactions: Their S/O is Inexperienced Yet in Their Mid 20s
A/N: Here it is, my first post after my long-ass hiatus :) I hope you guys enjoy it! Requests are OPEN, please send some over! <3
PREMISE: OT7 reacting to finding out that their s/o is physically inexperienced relationship-wise / that this is their s/o’s first relationship despite them being in their mid 20s
A/N: I think a lot of people won't understand why this is a reaction in the first place (lol) but it can be super uncomfortable / awkward to have not dated / had any experience at that age, and a lot of people react badly to finding that out about someone. It's definitely an insecurity for a lot of people (myself included).
warning: mostly unedited due to my status as a trash gremlin
Jin:
Jin was completely shocked when he found out that you had never dated before him. Without thinking, he let this incredulity show on his face, total surprise evident and eyebrows raised. He was briefly silent in disbelief. You took that to mean that he thought you were weird now. You certainly felt that way.
Involuntarily, tears welled up in your eyes and Jin finally registered your distress. “What’s wrong?” he asked in concern, gently brushing away a stray tear from your cheek. You stared down at your feet, murmuring “You probably think I’m super strange now.” in explanation. Jin shook his head insistently, imploring that he didn’t find it weird at all.
“Honestly I was just shocked because I don’t know how you didn’t have people practically lining down the block to date you.” He explained, bringing a small smile back to your face. He pulled you into a hug, assuring you that he was in no hurry as long as he got to spend time with you.
Yoongi:
You and Yoongi were having a cozy night in and catching up on dramas. In the show you were presently watching, there was a character who was in her mid 20s that had never dated or even kissed anyone. Yoongi scoffed, rolling his eyes at this. “This is so unrealistic. Like come on, seriously? How do you get to be that age having never dated, having never even kissed somebody? It’s a completely absurd concept.”
You started to curl in on yourself, looking down with a tortured expression on your face. You were scared to explain the truth, fearful that if he knew he wouldn’t want you anymore. After a few minutes like that, Yoongi finally noticed your body language. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He inquired gently. How were you going to explain this to him?
“I, um… I guess I kind of freaked out when you were talking about the plot being unrealistic… You were so sure it couldn’t happen that you were annoyed by it. And then I really didn’t know how to tell you that the plot line we were discussing is literally the same as me. I’ve never dated before, you’re the first… And when you kissed me for the first time, that was my first kiss.” You took a deep breath, having exerted a lot of energy to force out your words.
Yoongi’s eyes lit up in recognition, then guilt crept onto his features. “Baby no, I’m so sorry, I completely overreacted about the show. I shouldn’t have said all that. I never wanted to hurt your feelings.” Yoongi admitted sincerely. He could tell that you felt a little bit better after that reassurance.
"It’s not a bad thing to do things on a different timeline. Plus, I got the honor of being your first boyfriend because of it. Maybe I’ll be your last.” He said the last part quietly, smirking softly before pressing a kiss to your forehead.
Hoseok:
One of your favorite things about Hobi was his open and energetic attitude. He was truly one of the friendliest people you’d ever met, and it had felt easy to become close with him. You hadn’t been dating long at all, but the ease of conversation made it feel like you’d known each other for years.
On one particular day, the two of you were chatting over a dinner of your favorite delivery food. Hoseok was in the middle of a funny story about one of his exes, never one for unnecessary social boundaries or conventions, which was fine because you were laughing like crazy at the ridiculous tale he told. Then he continued, though, to tell (admittedly hilarious and absurd) stories about some of his other exes. You were entertained, certainly, though the number of people he seemed to have dated was a bit intimidating to you.
When he finally finished, he asked about *your* exes, and that was where the issue really started. You deflected, not wanting to directly bring attention to the fact that you had never dated before him. He became oddly persistent, seeming frustrated that you didn’t want to share. Not wanting him to misunderstand why you weren’t telling him what he wanted to know, you sucked it up and told him that he was your first boyfriend.
He was extremely surprised, but seemed to understand now why you had been reluctant to answer his questioning. He apologized for going on about exes for so long, and for inadvertently making you nervous. You assured him that it wasn’t a big deal, especially since the only important thing was your relationship moving forward, not either of your pasts.
Namjoon:
When you and Namjoon had only been together a few weeks (after a much longer friendship prior to your romantic relationship beginning), you were spending a nice chill evening at home, eating takeout and chatting. The two of you seemingly never ran out of things to talk about, one of the things you loved about being with him.
You don’t even remember what had led to it, but partway through the evening, he made some dumb joke about virgins and you visibly froze. You had yet to tell him about your lack of experience, and now you were terrified to. Was that really something he’d be bothered by? You hadn’t thought so, but his joking around about it made you doubt that. You did your best not to show your panic, paying unusually close attention to the glass of water you were drinking.
Unfortunately for you, your discomfort was completely apparent, and Namjoon asked you if you were okay. You nodded with a forced smile, making him frown, easily able to tell that you weren’t. You were afraid to tell him now because if it really bothered him that much, maybe it would disappoint him. Maybe it’d be a dealbreaker and he would lose interest in you. Unsure what to do, you stared at your hands, tense and worried. Namjoon lightly rested his hand on your shoulder, staring at you in concern. “Please tell me what’s wrong.” He implored gently.
At that moment you could no longer hold in your emotion, your fear, and tears began to leak from your eyes as you sniffled, starting to shake a bit as you cried. You let him pull you into his arms, holding you close as you tried to stop crying. After a few minutes of you trying to calm down, aided by Joon’s sweet behavior,  he asked again what was wrong, insisting that you could tell him anything. Your chest felt tight, but you didn’t see a way out of sharing what had upset you.
When you explained what had happened, Namjoon felt horrible, cursing himself for having said something so dumb. He told you that it was just a stupid joke, not something he actually cared about, apologizing for upsetting you with his thoughtlessness. He made sure to assure you that it wasn’t a problem for him in the least, and that he was in no rush. Afterwards the whole situation seemed a little silly, though you remembered how genuinely panicked you had been only minutes before and shuddered. But things were immediately made better, the two of you snuggling up on the couch to watch a movie.
Jimin:
Your blossoming relationship with Jimin made you feel like you were walking on a cloud. He was incredibly sweet and so much fun to spend time with, you felt very lucky to be dating him now. Just to be sweet, you had picked up food from his favorite lunch place and were bringing it to him at the BigHit building, where he was currently busy at work in a practice room.
When you arrived, the door to the room was open, but you heard voices coming from inside. You only paused when you heard Jimin say your name. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop, and you were about to announce your presence until you realized what he was saying. “You know I really like her, man, I just feel so unsure right now. There has been like, zero physical affection up to this point, nothing beyond hugs and holding hands.” Jimin grumbled, sounding irritated.
Tae hummed in acknowledgement, pausing before inquiring “So obviously you’re frustrated, but what are you thinking about it?” Jimin sighed. “Maybe she just doesn’t like me as much as I like her. I don’t want to think anything bad about her, but what if she’s playing me? Like, she doesn’t have actual feelings for me.” He sounded very down, clearly hurt by the mere possibility. At that moment you were so shocked by what you were hearing, you accidentally dropped the bag of takeout, hurrying to pick it up, but you’d already drawn attention to yourself.
Jimin and Taehyung looked beyond shocked to see you, and you realized you were crying. Taehyung excused himself to let the two of you talk. You walked farther into the room, approaching the boys. “I thought we could have lunch… I know you don’t take enough breaks, and I really wanted to see you…” You admitted quietly, unable to actually make eye contact.
“I just feel so horrible, it’s all my fault that you don’t even know how crazy I am about you. I can’t believe…. I let you be unsure of how much I care about you. It’s my fault, I’m so sorry Jimin.” By the end of what you were saying, you were holding back full sobs. Seeing how distressed you were, Jimin wasted no time in rushing to you and pulling you into his arms, hugging you close.
When you’d finally calmed down and stopped crying, you thought you owed him an explanation. “The lack of physical affection isn’t because I don’t like you. I like you more than I’ve ever liked anybody. I’ve just… never done anything. I haven’t even been in a relationship before now, it’s all new to me.” You admitted, feeling Jimin stiffen in your hug.
When you pulled back to look at him, tears were welling up in his eyes. “Oh, I’m the worst…” He muttered, feeling so guilty. “I was just frustrated, I was feeling insecure. Now that I know, I don’t mind one bit waiting for anything until you’re ready.” He assured you, planting a quick kiss on your forehead as you nodded understanding.
Tae:
It had only been a few weeks since Tae had confessed his feelings to you and the pair of you had started dating. Long before that, you’d been close friends, so you had spent a lot of time together over time. During one of your first few movie nights as a couple, things slowly began to escalate between you. You were sitting close together, seemingly focused on the film, when Tae moved to put an arm around you, pulling you closer so you were snuggled up beside him.
His eyes never left the screen, but there was a telltale little smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes a little, but you certainly didn’t mind. Despite it being such a small thing, at this stage in your relationship, this was a little bit thrilling. Soon you could feel him staring at you, and you turned your head to look back at him. His face had gotten much closer to yours than you’d expected. “…Tae?” you whispered, seeing both affection and mischief in his eyes. “Yes love?” He replied quietly in his gorgeous low voice, making you shiver just slightly.
You shook your head almost imperceptibly, and before you knew it his lips were on yours. You froze, all of this being completely new and foreign for you. Feeling you stiffen and fail to reciprocate the kiss, Tae pulled back to look at your face, wearing an expression of concern. “Um, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have just… assumed you felt the same way…” He muttered nervously, not making eye contact. “No!” You exclaimed a little louder than you meant to, quieting your voice to a near-whisper before speaking again.
“No, Tae, I do feel the same way! I really, really do. I love you. I have since we were just friends. I… I want you too. Just, um, I don’t know what to do…. That was my first kiss just now and I kind of just panicked and froze.” You confessed, watching the surprise and then recognition cover his face. That was all it took to take his unsure expression back to a smug smirk. Knowing the power his voice held over you, he leaned in close to you to speak in your ear when he said “in that case, I think we need some practice, don’t you?” Oh boy.
Jungkook:
You had been seeing Jungkook for a couple of months now and it was more than apparent that he was smitten with you (and vice versa). He complimented you frequently, his heart eyes for you always clearly on display. The only problem was the way you practically jumped away from him any time he got close to you. He had definitely noticed your weird behavior, and though you didn’t know what to do about it, you knew it was only a matter of time until he brought it up in conversation.
When that moment came, you had just clammed up and pulled back from him when he tried to put his arm around you while watching a movie. When you saw his expression in reaction, you felt immensely guilty, seeing the hurt on his face. After a moment it shifted to extreme irritation, him clenching his jaw in annoyance. “What’s your problem? I can’t get anywhere near you without you freaking out and moving away in a hurry.” You couldn’t make eye contact anymore at that point, feeling the tears well up in your eyes as you were filled with the fear that you had ruined things with him.
“I… I don’t really know why I keep doing that, it’s just all new to me. I’ve never dated anyone before you so I kind of don’t know what to do with myself most of the time.” You confessed, trying to mask the sniffle that you gave as the first tear rolled down your cheek. Now it was Jungkook’s turn to feel guilty. He approached you slowly, asking you to look at him in a gentle voice. When you did, you saw that the irritation was completely gone, replaced with remorse and fondness. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, I could have just asked like an actual adult rather than how I behaved. I guess I was just insecure, afraid that you don’t like me in the same way I like you.” He explained, and you nodded slightly in understanding.
“That’s not it at all! I really *really* like you. A relationship is just totally uncharted territory for me and I handled it wrong. I should’ve just told you.” You sighed, the heaviness leaving your heart as an adorable bunny smile grew on his face. “Uncharted territory, huh? Well let me be your travel guide. We can be explorers together.” You rolled your eyes at his dumb joke, but smiled in spite of how silly his words were. You felt like now, with it all out in the open, things could be good with the two of you.
a/n: Feedback please! <3 I love to hear from y'all!
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sxybeautyqueen · 3 years
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How to release negativity:
1. Work on changing your mindset.
When I refer to the mindset, It’s the way a person thinks. Your thought process. When you have one mishap in the morning that changes the course of your day, do you fixate on what went wrong, or focus on what can go right? Don’t focus on the negative. Focus on the positive. Thoughts are extremely powerful & what allows us to feel emotions, & take action. Negative thoughts, which turn into negative emotions, thus manifesting negativity into your world. I’m not saying stay positive all the time, because toxic positivity is a thing. But, choosing to be optimistic is a great idea to change the mindset. Choosing to know when you’re just allowing the ‘little things’ to annoy you. Or, when you stay focused on the mistakes you made in your past. Maybe some today, i dunno. But, let those things go, & focus on what the bigger picture is for you. Know that there’s always room for improvement. Always look on the bright side, even when times get rough. Keep faith. Know and understand that God will always be with you during your times of hardship. That he will make sure you’re provided for and taken care of. This will breed more positivity & blessings naturally. It will change how you feel about yourself. Change how you feel about yourself, & in turn, your world around you will change. Balance is always restored.
2. Release pain from the past, & present. Forgive.
To forgive, is a powerful tool into releasing negativity. When you forgive yourself, and others, it is a beautiful thing. Forgiveness is for healing. When you extend forgiveness, you no longer store the negative energy within yourself. This energy comes from the traumatic experience that transpired. Anyone can cause pain. friends, family members, significant others.. even we cause pain to ourselves. People can tend to cause pain, unintentionally or intentionally. Either way, it hurts! & that’s okay. As long as you take the time to allow yourself to feel the emotions, and acknowledge them, but do not allow them to take over. It diminishes your personal power. While it takes time to heal—because it is an emotional scar, be patient with yourself. You have to sit with the feeling, allow it to pass, and continue to live happily. You will not heal months, or years of pain in a day, but know it can be done as long as you’re willing, and as long as you are patient with yourself throughout the healing process💕healing makes us feel lost, & like it won’t get better, or we’ll always be stuck with X, Y, Z in situations. but it always gets better! healing allows for your EVOLUTION.
3. Keep your vibrations high.
Your vibration, or vibe—is the energy you give off to others around you & ultimately, what you feel energetically. In order to keep your vibration high, you can do a multitude of different things! meditation, music, and affirmations have become my top 3💖 listening to your favorite songs that brings you happiness to sing along with will change your vibration. Giving & receiving love will change your vibration. Maybe give a stranger a smile, or a family member a hug! (surely inching up on my top 3 list, ha!) Meditation, keeps your vibration high by allowing you to stop & ground your energy by introducing quiet time + deep breaths for reflection, or releasing emotions! (also, deep breaths cleanse the body of anger or anxiety, wink wink) to affirm, means to state as a fact. Affirmations are just another way of saying you’re starting exactly what you’re saying as a fact. It is already in existence. When you speak those positive affirmations, such as, ‘I am loved. I am peaceful. I am loving.’ These things are what exactly shows itself in your life, if you believe it to be true. When you affirm it, you already know this thing you’re referring to belongs to you. God would not place the desire in your heart if he didn’t believe you should have it. Speak it as such, and watch how things change around you. (Don’t forget to show gratitude for the newness in your life.💕) You will see more love showing up in your life, you will feel the inner peace. You will give love to your friends and family. Just believe in your words & what you say, because the tongue is extremely powerful! say what you mean, and mean what you say. so, speak life.🦋
4. Release your anxieties & worries.
Letting go of thoughts, & mindsets that bring anxiety are one of the most important steps in releasing negativity. A worry, is usually a problem or issue that plagues the brain in a state of unrest or uneasiness usually due to not being able to control the situation. To worry, is to bring stress. When you find yourself in a situation you would be worried about, if you cannot control it, simply release it. I know this is easier said than done, but it CAN be done. This is showing God knows that you know it WILL work out. Pray about it. surrender the need to control each aspect of your life, and leave it to GOD. He has your back. He will release abundance, love, healing, and blessings into your life just as long as you trust him. as long as you trust in God, & the natural flow of the Universe. look up some guided anxiety meditations via YouTube.a My favorite meditation app is headspace! They have many different meditations to choose from anger, PTSD, and others!
5. Remove your energy from people, places, & things that drain your energy.
If you’re in an environment where you are not being allowed to grow or flourish, you must remove yourself. This goes for any aspect of life. if you are in an environment with family, friends, or co-workers that is not contributing to your growth, it is only keeping you stuck or stagnant. Move away from those friends, family, or significant others who aren’t happy to see you growing out of your negative mindset, those who want to keep you there. Move away from that which doesn’t allow you to be your best self. Of course, make no decision in haste. take the time to plan out the moves you want to make, make decisions you know are for your betterment, & to advance you forward. Examples, if you know keeping the same circle of friends around you isn’t helping you grow? Got fired from a job? Broke up with suddenly? Move on. its a blessing in disguise. Allow God & l to do his job and usher in those loving relationships that push you to grow. To do better. watch as God blesses you with that new job that pays you more, and you’re emotionally fulfilled while in this career. All because you let go of what no longer aligned with you. Everything (baggage, past trauma, self-doubt. etc.) and everybody cannot go with us on this journey. You have to change, naturally. It’s just the ways of the world. When you let go, it is always replaced. The outcome is always better once you let go of what’s not so good in your life. Believe that things will get better. Don’t let the small circumstances change how you feel about everything in life overall. Release to replace.
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
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A Little Childish
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warnings: Swearing
Genre: FLUFF
Summary: Corpse and Y/N go to visit Y/N’s parents for New Year’s. Corpse was promised good food, good company and A LOT of snow. Needless to say, the place didn’t disappoint - quite the contrary actually, it exceeded any and all expectations he had.
Requested by @waterflowersposts Hi there! Sorry for how long it took for this fic to be written :( I hope the final result makes up for the long wait! I also thought it would be appropriate to post it during the holiday season, so I hope you don’t mind. Hope you enjoy the read and I’m looking forward to hearing your feedback and any more requests you may have. Stay safe! Happy Holidays! Love, Vy ❤
I watch as Corpse is basically floating from one room into another in our shared apartment as he’s throwing random articles of clothing in his open suitcase. I have already packed my bags, knowing full well what the appropriate attire is for where we’re going.
I look away from my laptop when Corpse comes in for maybe the sixtieth time today, this time carrying a white tee causing me to chuckle. “Corpse, I know it’s very trademark for you, but the only way you’ll be wearing that when we get there is under a sweater for some extra warmth. I’m not looking forward to having my boyfriend freeze in my parent’s house.”
He smiles, looking at the shirt in his hands, and shakes his head, “Fine, guess I’ll do without it for a week or two.” He throws it in our room, not even bothering to check where it’ll land before he comes to sit down next to me on the couch, “Keep in mind, you have set my expectations pretty high up there. If I am not waist deep in snow the second we step off the plane, I’ll be disappointed.”
I give him a side glance, a smirk playing on my lips. Must say, taking on challenges you know you’re gonna win is the ultimate high-and-mighty feeling. “Honey, you’ve got a big snowstorm coming.”
                                                               *  *  *
All throughout our trip - I’m talking the drive to the airport AND the flight over - I have kept my eyes glued to Corpse, observing as his eyes sparkled more and more with each foot we got closer to our destination. He has told me the most snow he has seen was less than an inch and I immediately felt it was my duty to change that by introducing him to the magic of Canada - my home. My parents own a getaway cottage in the mountains of Calgary where we used to go every holiday season. My earliest memory is playing in the thigh-deep snow with my older sister and crying whenever our parents had to drag us back inside. 
The West Coast of the US was a rather odd surrounding for me, having grown up surrounded by snowy mountains, experiencing Christmas with no snow whatsoever was a true let down and underwhelming feeling. Since Corpse and I started dating about a month after Christmas time last year this will be our first time spending the holidays together and Corpse was more than enthusiastic to visit Canada when I mentioned how much I enjoyed my winters there. We couldn’t go for Christmas, but we’ll be there for New Year’s Eve and the first two weeks of 2021 and I am really excited. I have been dying to see my family that has actually expanded since the last time I visited - my sister has had yet another baby, making her and her husband parents of three very energetic toddlers. The six year old twins - Ashley and Alex - and the three year old Andrew. Or, as I like to call them: The 3 As.
I have warned Corpse about them like seven times despite the fact that he’s already familiar with their energy, convincing him that if that’s more than he can handle we’ve still got time to cancel the trip. He didn’t bat an eye though, each time telling me not to worry and focus my attention on reliving the moments I’ve missed so greatly instead of making sure he was having a good time.
“If you’re there...“ he said, “I’ll sure as hell be having a good time.“
One step out of the airport and he’s already mesmerized. His eyes are shiny reflecting the glow of the snow all around. It’s gonna be funny to see his reaction when he witnesses the real deal - the snow in the mountains. This compared to that is a pathetic excuse.
“I know it’s not waist-high, but that’s because they shovel it and melt it.“ He is looking around, not paying much mind to my words. The utter amazement and disbelief on his face just makes me want to wrap my arms around him and kiss him. He’s simply adorable! I see fragments of the child in him swimming up to the surface in the form of temptation - temptation every kid feels when they see snow: Dive in and lose track of time. “Wait till we get to the cottage.“
This manages to catch his attention, “You weren’t kidding.“
I laugh at my precious kiddy boyfriend. “Whoa there, Corpsie. If your mind is already blown, I’m worried about how you’ll react to the real deal.“ 
I have a feeling I know exactly how he’ll react cause I react similarly - I set the child in me free. After all, no parent can tell you to stop playing and go inside when you are a 23-year-old.
                                                             *  *  *
Walking up to the cottage from the cable-car station has to be the first time I’ve breathed with my lungs’ full capacity in the last five years. The sharp cold air screams ‘home’ to me like nothing else ever did. I am still surprised as to how my sister prefers summer. My family jokes I’m a winter wolf in disguise and I think they’re right. I do like to roll around in the snow much like a wolf. No judgement! Having a few extra years added to my age doesn’t change everything.
“Oh. My. Fucking. God.“ If I could take a shot every time Corpse has repeated this phrase I’d be dead due to liver failure. He is absolutely stunned. And I’m pretty sure he hasn’t blinked at all. Who am I to talk - I haven’t either. These mountains keep getting prettier and prettier, I swear. Taking my eyes off them would be a crime.
“Told you. I wish we made a bet, I could’ve made some easy money.“ I tease him, gently bumping my elbow against his as we walk up the trail.
“I’m glad I didn’t propose such a thing. That would’ve been fucking stupid of me.“ Judging by the tone of his voice, he is not really present in this conversation, so I decide not to let it go on any longer.
Not that I could’ve done differently, seeing as how barely three seconds latter I see three smiling faces coming at me at max speed.
Oh boy.
“Auntie Y/N!“ Ashley and Alex arrive first of course, wrapping their arms tightly around my waist. Little Andrew stumbles his way to me as quickly as a three year old possibly could.
Without wasting a second, I put my bags down and crouch so I can hug them properly. “Hi my babies! I haven’t seen you in so long.” Their hugging strength surprises me and warms my heart at the same time. The twins pull away, leaving room for the little duckling in a jacket two times his size and weight. “Hi Andrew! I nice to meet you! I’m auntie Y/N. Mommy and daddy have told you about me, haven’t they? If not I’ll kick their asses.”
“Y/N, I swear, I’ll tell Amy you’re teaching her kids swears at a very early age.“ Corpse says teasingly, stealing the attention from all four of us.
“She curses like a sailor, these kids probably know more swear words than I do.“ Ash and Alex run straight out of my grasp and to Corpse, proceeding to hug him around the waist as they did with me. They met Corpse when my sister and her husband Finn visited me back in the summer. They immediately fell in love with him. I specifically remember Alex telling me I have a ‘really cool boyfriend‘ and he only uses the word ‘cool‘ when he really likes something or someone. Corpse was honorably declared cool by Alex and that still warms my heart till this day.
“Hi guys, long time no see!“ He too crouches down to hug the little demons that immediately cling to him like koalas.
I scoop up the bundle of clothes with a face and stand up, balancing him on my hip. “Let’s attempt to get inside, shall we?” With my unoccupied arm I grab the handle of my suitcase.
Corpse nods and follows my lead, picking up the bags he also left in the snow. Ash and Alex bolt it back to the house while we struggle to follow, lowkey embarrassed by the pace we’re walking with.
Andrew struggles against me, reaching out towards Corpse. I look at them both apologetically. “You’ll meet Corpse when we get inside, darling. Chill out.”
“Y/N!“ My sister’s voice steals my attention. She emerges from the house, followed by the twins, a huge smile on her face. Her eyes land on Andrew who has calmed down is now resting his head on my shoulder sleepily, “Oh I’m so sorry about them, Y/N. I didn’t know they would charge at you the second you stepped foot on the property.“
Amy motions for me to give her her son but I hand her my suitcase instead. When she takes it I use my now freed arm to hug her as tightly as I possibly can with one arm and while balancing a baby on my chest. “It’s ok! I couldn’t have dreamed of a better welcoming.” I release, giving her a big smile.
She loses interest in me and goes to hug Corpse, taking a bag from him as well before giving him a hug. “Oh my God, Corpse, it feels like it’s been forever. I’m so glad to see you.”
“Happy to see you too, Amy.“ My sister has never liked a single guy I’ve dated. EVER. Corpse is the only one she warmed up to and that’s a huge deal to me. Corpse’s happiness when I told him that was something I’d pay to have filmed just so I can watch it every time I’m feeling down.
“Let’s get you both inside, you must be freez-“ She cuts herself off, rolling her eyes at me, “Of course, you’re not.“
I laugh and blow her a kiss as we keep carrying onward.
“Um, guys?“ Corpse’s voice makes me pause and turn around. He’s still standing in the same spot, looking- unsettled, I guess you could call it.
“What’s wrong?“ I walk over to him, taking his hand in mine.
His hand automatically gives mine a reassuring squeeze, “Nothing really, it’s just that...I’m meeting your parents for the first time and-...What if they don’t like me?”
I open my mouth to go off and start stating the obvious that they indeed won’t like him. They will LOVE him. It’s impossible not to love this man! But my sister beats me to it when it comes to stating the facts.
“Look, Corpse, they already love you. Heck, sometimes I feel like they have known Finn and you longer than they have known Y/N and I! They speak so highly of you and haven’t even met you - that should tell you more than enough about how they see you.“ She waves her hand towards the cottage, “Now walk in there and blow them away.“
Honestly, I’m glad Amy beat me to it. I couldn’t have said it better myself. 
And just like that, hand in hand, Andrew still in my other arm, we walk in.
                                                             *  *  *
Corpse is officially the main attraction, stealing the spotlight from Amy, Finn and I - something the three of us are incredibly thankful for. Amy was right with every word she said - my parents are absolutely in love with Corpse. Luckily for Finn and Amy, the 3 As are all over him as well. Especially Andrew. The second someone sets him down he just waddles his way over to Corpse who picks him up and settles him in his lap while he answers my parents’ questions. 
When the kids were finally talked into taking a nap, Corpse and I snuck out to have a little walk in the snow and, of course, take some pictures. I made it my personal goal to make as many artsy and aesthetic photos of him as possible. His favorite - a hand only pic of him holding a snowball - was my idea and I think I have never felt prouder of myself.
“I am definitely posting this one.“ He says, turning the phone so I can see the screen. I give it a quick glance, thinking he’s talking about the hand pic but do a double take when I realize it’s a picture of me that he has taken without my knowledge.
I actually look rather decent, so I give him a green light in the form of a big thumbs up, “As long as you post the hand one too.”
“Hey, Y/N!“ We look back at the house which isn’t far from where we are right now. Amy is hugging the jacket tightly around herself as she approaches us with fast steps. “You know where we haven’t been in like forever?“
I raise an eyebrow and shake my head as I rack through my brain trying to dig up what she’s referring to. It could literally be any place on this mountain!
“Hello! The Waterless Lake? Ring any bells?“
Oh...it sure does.
Brief explanation: it is a huge circular dip in the ground which fills with water when the snow melts and becomes a lake but empties by the time winter comes back around. That being said, when the snow is still not melted, it’s an absolute wonderland to play in. I suddenly remember all the barrel-rolling Amy and I did there as kids and feel really nostalgic.
“Oh God, yes! I miss that place!“ I say, snapping out of my reminiscing trance. “Let’s go while it’s still light enough.”
“Finn is making dinner right now, or trying to at least.“ She rolls her eyes, turning to Corpse, “But it’d be our pleasure if you tagged along, Corpse.“
Corpse shakes his head, “I’ll politely decline. You ladies can reminisce and chat in peace, while I’ll be helping Finn in the kitchen.” He gives me a quick peck on the lips before excusing himself, “Have fun!”
“You too!“ We call back to him in unison.
Amy gives me an amazed, wide-eyed look, “He can cook?”
I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly, smirking, “Oh, you have no idea.”
She laughs, linking arms with me as we begin walking our way to the Waterless Lake. The place probably has a different name or no name at all, but we named it that as kids and never told our parents where it was. It’s our spot, and it is very surprising Amy offered Corpse to accompany us there.
“Sis, you are very lucky. I hope you know that.“ She tightens the hold on my arm with hers, pulling us closer together.
“I tell myself that every time I look at him, Aims. I am fully aware.“ I say dreamily, recalling all the times I’ve spent with Corpse. Almost one full year and I could never imagine that year, nor the upcoming ones, without him.
                                                                *  *  *
Upon returning, we’re met with the most wholesome scene I have ever seen - Corpse and Finn are making snowmen with the 3 As. It seems like they’ve been at it for a while, considering there is an army of snowmen of different designs, shapes and sizes all at different spots throughout the perimeter of the clearing in front of the house.
“Oh dear Lord.“ Amy mumbles, “I had a feeling this would happen.“
The five snowman-builders don’t even acknowledge our presence when we approach them. Ashley and Alex are running around with Finn, looking for sticks to use as the snowmen’s limbs while Corpse is helping Andrew gather as much snow as possible for the body.
I don’t realize there’s a huge smile on my face up until the point I’m trying to say something. Nothing comes out, though. My words are being muffled by all the overwhelming emotions that have taken over - collapsing my senses. 
With a roll of her eyes, my sister opens the front door, taking a step into the house. The second the door opens, however, I get a whiff of the delicious smell coming from inside. Best guess, and probably the right one - this is Corpse’s doing. 
If I wasn’t already hungry, I sure as hell am now and I’m in no mood to be in that delicious food’s proximity without attacking it. 
“Come on, guys! Dinner time! Get your butts inside!“ I call out to them from the doorway.
Corpse turns to look at me with the sneakiest smirk I have ever seen. He narrows his eyes at me, “You have done the very thing you despise!”
It takes me approximately three seconds to connect the dots and scrunch up my face, picking up all the snow I can an forming it in a snow ball, throwing it at Corpse. Growing up doing this exact thing has given me great aim, therefore I hit Corpse square in the chest.
“Oh you’re so in for it now.“ He laughs, picking up snow to form his own snowball.
“Snowball fight!“ Ashley yells, ditching the sticks to make a snowball for herself.
“Oh no...“ I poke my head in the hallway just as a snowball hits my upper arm, “Aims, I need your help!“ 
Before Amy can respond, I run to take cover behind the nearest snowman that, luckily for me happens to be one of the larger ones. I hear Amy call out my name when she exits the house, followed by a surprised yelp from her when three snowballs hit her. “You are all dead!”
While she is fighting blood and fire (well, water really), I am making ammunition for us both to use. I’m on my eleventh snowball when snow showers me from above as though it has fallen from a tree branch.
“Hiding, I see.“ I am still in shock, hair and upper body covered in snow, when I hear Corpse’s taunting voice.
My vengeance instinct kicks in having me grab two snowballs and turn to throw them at him. To my dismay, he’s faster then me and doesn’t allow me to even get my arm at an angle where I could throw properly. Instead, he turns me back around and picks me up with ease, one arm wrapped around my waist, another grabbing two of my prepared snowballs from the ground.
“Let’s show them who the bosses are.“ I see him wink at me from the corner of my eye and it takes me little to no time to catch onto what he’s insinuating.
In short, with joined forces, we took out the opposite team in no time - like a true couple 😉
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phoenixyfriend · 3 years
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Re; Ahsoka and Quinlan being the same age, now I'm picturing Ahsoka, Quinlan, and Rex eventually ending up in a weird sorta thruple where Quinlan comes in and out of the relationship but the door is kinda always open for him? And Rex spends a lot of mornings eyeing the tangle of orange and brown skin on the other side of the bed like he has no idea how he ended up here but he's (mostly) okay with that tbh
Context: Commander Buir in chronological order
YES okay so this is wild to me that people are invested in this but like half the time-travel fics with Ahsoka in the same age-group as Quinlan have me wondering if I should ship them. Let me just. Ho shit.
So, okay, I've explored a lot of possible dynamics but there's something really engaging about how Quinlan, trained as a Shadow before the Sith came back, could react to a War Padawan. Ahsoka isn't really infiltration material yet, she's very much a frontline fighter, but she's got a lot more experience with a kind of consistent dark atmosphere that most Jedi don't. They get exposed to plenty of dark stuff, sure, but not the kind of all-encompassing "this is my life for the last two years" thing that is usually reserved for the long-term field agents like Shadows and Watchmen.
The War Padawans, for all that they were supposed to be just normal Jedi Padawans, were living in the kind of consistently negative environment that's normally experienced by those Knighted Sentinels.
So Ahsoka, while still generally pretty young in these AUs, is a very odd kind of person to be around, because she's spunky and vivacious and snippy and affectionate and snarky and knows how to break every bone in your body from harrowing experience as the only thing standing between death and thousands of brothers.
And Quinlan, I imagine, really likes that about her. She gets it, and she's still an energetic and loving and trying to do her best to be a good person despite everything. He gravitates towards her and she... well, she's not blind. She can tell he's interested. And she's not upset about that.
ANYWAY, ONTO REX
So, Rex is... technically twelve. He hasn't exactly got a whole lot of experience with romance. He is also, up until the point of time-travel, legal property of the Senate and the Jedi Order, which means that Ahsoka, or at least her community, owns him. He was indoctrinated to serve her and that community. She also outranks him, for all that she usually lets him take the lead in the field due to experience. He's older than her physically and maturity-wise, but she's also had a grow-up-faster-than-you-should adolescence, and she has superpowers.
What I'm saying is, the power dynamic is fucked up.
(Unironically I spent hours last night realizing that it balances out a lot more than C*dywan does, which I'm censoring because by god do I not want discourse on this post. I like both ships, and don't want to argue about what's the most problematic. It's Star Wars. The only unproblematic ships are Bail/Breha and Owen/Beru.)
Here's the thing, though, because the main thing people seem to argue here is the age/maturity difference as a problem area:
The age difference in actual time is four years, which is smaller than the two main ships of the franchise (Han/Leia and Padme/Anakin, to be clear). The age difference in maturity is ??? We'll say that the clones started aging normally after they hit twenty, so the age difference in maturity is six years... which is still normal for SW ships.
(This is why I don't have any issues with the ship in a post-O66 context, once they've had a few years to move past the traumas and whatnot. The age stuff all evens out with time, they're a good team, and neither was grooming the other. It's not objectively any more problematic than most SW ships at that point, and I'm okay with that. They deserve to be happy if they want.)
But they get yanked away from all that structure of who owns what, who reports where, who has which rank, who's legally a person in the eyes of the Republic when they end up on Dagobah. Once they've registered when they are, the only remaining complications are:
He grew up in a cultlike environment and was indoctrinated to serve her (but has been replacing that indoctrination with genuine respect and affection for her as a person because they've worked together for two years).
She has superpowers (contextually not a big problem: we see several Force-Sensitive/Non-Sensitive ships that don't consider those powers a complicating element)
He's several years younger than her (canonically less of an issue than it could be: Cut got married and has kids) and has next to no experience with what a normal romance looks like except for hanging out on the edges of whatever the fuck his General has going on with the Senator
She's several years less mature than he is (...something of an issue)
So a lot of this is mostly okay. She feels weird about the fact that she's got more knowledge of romance and all that it entails. He feels weird about the fact that, despite her being older, he looks at her and sees someone that's still a little young, not quite a shiny. Except she is older than him, and he's seen her behead four people in a single move, and they've saved each other's lives more times than either of them can count anymore. He respects her, and the fact that she's babyfaced doesn't change the fact that, in terms of who they are as people and warriors, they're on a level playing field.
She still looks at him and mourns his lost childhood, and he still looks at her and takes a moment to see past the too-big eyes and adolescent proportions.
But they really, really care about each other, and maybe part of them is starting to recognize that there's a bit of a crush before they time-travel, but neither one wants to make a move. There's a lot of baggage on both sides, a lot of "but they're a child" and "but they're (literally vs functionally) below me in the chain of command, I can't take advantage of that" and all that fun stuff. It's the kind of situation where two people circle each other for ages without making a move, because actually making that move is terrifying on account of not knowing whether the other party knows they can say no, on top of the usual "what if it ruins our friendship?" thing.
What happens on Dagobah, though... is very tropey. They're sort of stranded until Ahsoka can fix the ship, and that takes time. The area is also very heavy with the Force, dense and heady with the energy it carries, and it's... actually really not great for Ahsoka. She keeps feeling like she's back on Mortis, and has nightmares from the trigger there, but also keeps hallucinating because she wasn't ready for the thickness of the energy (like Yoda) or still new enough to the Force that she couldn't feel how dense it all was (like Luke). She can't work on the engines as constantly as she'd like to get them out of there, and while Rex is a competent mechanic, he's not as skilled with it as the girl who jumped headfirst into lessons with Anakin.
Rex spends a lot of time holding Ahsoka and wiping her brow with a wet cloth while she's feverish and out of it. Yes we're going full Florence Nightingale romance here, let me have my fun.
They get the communications relay working earlier than the engine, find out the year is wrong, panic a bit. All is well. (It's not, but they're holding it together for now.)
Ahsoka keeps working on the engine when she's lucid. Rex keeps hunting up game and edible plants for them while she does. They cuddle at night, because it's not cold but it is empty of the people they care about, and they kind of want that reassurance of someone they trust and love at their back.
(Morai visits.)
(Daughter shows up in the nightmares, tells Ahsoka that age will not come for her beloved until the time is natural for it. The phrasing is dumb but she does manage to convey that the accelerated aging is no longer an issue, if it even was after they hit adulthood. Ahsoka is relieved.)
And, you know, emotions happen. She takes his hand while they're leaning up against each other. He kisses her forehead while she's having a bad spell. They cook together and tell jokes to keep sane and spar. They hug each other through nightmares and panic attacks. There is much blushing. There is much cuddling.
Once, they kiss.
They break apart, flushing and stammering and being very awkward about the whole thing, and make excuses to leave and panic about the fact that they!! Kissed!!!!!
A couple hours later they find each other again, and have a long and complicated discussion about why they like each other (war makes bedfellows, there's trust and affection and all that fun stuff) and why they're hesitant (age stuff, maturity stuff, prior indoctrination), and make the decision to take it slow. They cuddle, and kiss, and blush a lot because both of them are basically just dumb teens having their first real relationship.
They eventually leave the planet, make it to Coruscant, etc. It takes a bit for anyone except Obi-Wan to realize that something's changed between them. Most people didn't know them before, and Anakin's observation skills are currently at a very low ebb. But they sit together and hold hands, and flirt when they spar, and once or twice people find them kissing (both standard and Keldabe) in a corner while holding hands and then just smiling at each other like loons.
They end up rooming together because nobody has the heart to separate them after hearing about all the war stuff. Like yes attachment's bad, but these two do seem to understand loss of loved ones and recognize that they could lose each other at any time and death is natural and they won't lose their entire shit about it, and if even General Kenobi is anxious as hell about being separated from the people he fought side-by-side with for two years, then maybe it's just... really normal for those two to want each other's company, and everyone can just turn a blind eye to the romance happening.
They share a bed, but they only ever sleep in it. Like, there's some goodnight kisses and cuddles, but everything is very G-rated until they've had time to settle into being true equals instead of just the "well, I guess the power dynamics balance out? Maybe?" of before.
And just... yeah. Rex does not believe that he's in this good of a position whenever he has the time to think about it. He's got a girlfriend! A really pretty, smart, strong, skilled one! Who thinks he's a cool dude! How the fuck did a clone like him manage that? He wasn't even legally a person a year ago, how did he end up in bed with one of the most amazing people he's ever met? He spends multiple nights just staring at her while he tries to fall asleep, asking himself how he got here and just like... marveling at her. She's worth marveling at. He's in love and she's amazing and he has no idea how to handle it at all.
...yeah no I have a lot of feelings now.
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doberbutts · 2 years
Text
I also had someone ask what steps I take that are different for Tater vs the other dogs and they’re all pretty simple II think?
Tater cannot regulate her body temperature as easily as the other dogs. This is combatted by putting her in a sweater (hates it) in the cold and letting her be in air conditioning in the heat. I’m actually pretty happy without AC in the summer, and so is Fae (and so was Creed), as long as we aren’t in heat advisory temperatures... but Sushi and Tater basically melt so I had to invest in AC for them. She adores the heated dog bed and can usually be found on my heating pad whenever I need it for my disability.
She is no longer so wobbley, it’s very subtle nowadays and she gets around just fine. She has a bunch of weird little movements when she’s excited, but nothing that would harm her. She kind of looks like a happy rabbit doing that “binky” movement when she’s exceedingly happy about something. She climbs stairs and jumps on/off furniture and races around the house/yard and wrestles with Fae. But she does tire easily, so when I take her for a walk I have to watch her for signs of fatigue so I know when she needs to be carried. I also have a little pouch she rides in when we’re on a really long walk and I don’t want to carry her in my arms.
Stress worsens the condition and so she lives a pretty stress-free life. She only goes on adventures she finds exciting and fun, what little training we do is no pressure and totally choice based, and I’d say 99% of her day is cuddling either human or dog at this point. She is a very social dog so it works out that I mostly got her as a companion for Fae. She hangs out with Fae and, begrudgingly, Sushi and spends a lot of time curled up with Fae or being pinned and groomed by one of the other girls. I try not to leave her totally alone, not because she has separation anxiety, but because I don’t think she’s ever been 100% alone before coming to me and the transition to occasional solitude (such as when I take Sushi and Fae on an adventure and leave her behind) would cause her unneeded stress when she can just as easily hang out with one of the other dogs.
She is incontinent and does leak if “full” while sleeping. This is probably the worst symptom tbh I’ve seen this dog pass a full, solid turd while snoring away upside down. Combatted by frequent potty breaks and fairly late last-outs before bed, we have drastically reduced accidents to being able to be counted on one hand over the past six months instead of daily. The neuro said he could prescribe her proin if I couldn’t get control over it but that would only stop the urine from leaking, not the feces, so I decided to do it this way instead.
She gets a daily medication, omeprazole, an acid reducer used for heartburn, as it apparently also works on spinal fluid buildup in the spinal cord. Don’t ask me how it works, the neuro said something about the chemical makeup of spinal fluid being similar to stomach acid. At her size it’s hilariously cheap. It did take several days to start working but, in his words, the fact that it worked that quickly means his assumptive diagnosis was correct as he diagnosed her without an MRI. We are waiting on a large study to be included in the search for answers on why some chihuahuas have this problem and others don’t.
Honestly in my opinion outside of these little things she’s not really kept that differently than the other two. She doesn’t really need a hyper-dedicated owner, just one that will be considerate of her needs and will remember to give her her medication. She has a pretty happy life and is bouncey and energetic. I’m glad we caught it as early in the progression as we did, to give her the best chance at a good life. She can live a long time like this, and provided I remember to give her the meds (TBI memory, sorry Tater) she lives fairly symptom-free and pain-free. 
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