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mawinswag · 30 days

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DIGITAL CIRCUS JAX THEORY

MASSIVE SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY BUT HERE WE GO!!!

. Ok, are you good? Ok

So, as many have pointed out already, there’s a scene at the end of episode 2 [22:23] where after Caine kills gummigoo and sends him back to the canyon, that he fears he can’t know for certain who’s a human and who’s an NPC. So foreshadowing, reference to past events or wacky non-sequitur? Maybe none of them, but the possibility that one of the circus members is actually an NPC is obviously too tantalizing for me to pass up, and given events AFTER this scene I think it can only be Jax, and I’ve got a few pieces of evidence why.

The main crux of this whole thing is that Jax IS an NPC, but he’s the only one in the circus who KNOWS that and is absolutely desperate to make sure that no one finds that out.

Episode one! Small note to start out on, but literally the first thing we learn about Jax, the VERY FIRST thing he has to ask is if Pomni is an NPC or not. Narratively, he’s the person who introduces the CONCEPT of NPCs into this universe, not Ragatha - who tries to break in Pomni the most - or Kinger who seems the most knowledgeable about the circus as a concept. He’s also very intrigued at the concept of a new AI in episode 2 [02:49} Like, the fact that she popped up in the circus unexpectedly doesn’t tip him off that she’s a human character immediately. Which may be how HE was able to trick everyone into thinking he was a human instead of an NPC - possibly by sneaking back through a portal like Gummigoo did and hiding until the start of the next adventure.

He DOES mention knowing about the headsets like the other human characters, but there’s no reason he CAN’T know about that considering he’s not the latest person to enter the circus. Like, we have a GENERAL idea of who entered first, but that’s just the characters who are still around for the pilot - there’s a lot more considering how many bedroom doors there are. https://shorturl.at/asESX

So, generally, it’s Kinger, Ragatha, Jax/Gangle, Zooble, then Pomni. Now, how can I argue that Jax is an NPC when he has a canonical age? Not to mention, he’s got a canonical ‘appearance moment.’ Well, there are a few options. Option one is that - NPC or not - Jax HAS been here for a very long time, but rather than being a human, he was born inside the circus. He has a definite, APPEARANCE moment, but it's only implied that this is because of him ENTERING the circus proper - new NPCs appear in the big top all the time, i.e. the gloinks all the mannequins, etc.

But also, take those ages with a pinch of salt, considering a lot of it was about quelling shipping wars and stopping any discourse about characters being adults and all that lovely hellish nightmare stuff. I think goose had an idea in her head about which characters entered the circus FIRST for sure, but how much they’ve aged and WHETHER they’ve aged is its own question.

ALRIGHT! But enough about Tumblr asks, back to the pilot, I wanna note something that happens with Jax in particular more than any other performer in the circus. He’s the most apparent of the interstitial nature of the circus itself - and the most meta. This can range from him basically winking at the camera like in the pilot [8:37] but I think it’s a bit more than that. Jax in particular is more aware of being a CHARACTER in-universe than specifically being a character in an indie animated series.

After this moment in the pilot [19:58] where Jax says ‘ladies first’ to Gangle as if to be polite before promptly following that up with “no, wait, why would I say that,” indicates a few things to me. Jax is at the very least aware that he’s supposed to act a certain way, and realizes when he’s acting out of ‘character’ in this scene and course-corrects promptly. Again, could be a funny meta reference, but also it could be a hanging notion of the fact he literally WAS a character in-universe, an NPC with a pre-programmed personality and understanding of the world. He’s got this rigid understanding of how the characters are SUPPOSED to act and this comes up again in episode two when goading Gangle into driving the tanker over the rocks - saying she’s SUPPOSED to be ‘submissive and agreeable,’ [Episode 2, 7:24]. This sort of disconnect from how complicated people can be and his overall detachment and overstepping of peoples lives [NPC or otherwise] comes up a lot. He doesn’t really ‘get’ other people, WHICH DOESN’T AUTOMATICALLY MAKE A PERSON EVIL, I SHOULD PREFACE, and him not getting it doesn’t automatically make him more ‘robotic’ and thus an AI, but it does explain why he’s more emotionally distant than the other performers. Coming from someone who could’ve been programmed to behave a certain way, his confusion makes sense.

Now for that juicy stuff! One of the few moments where Jax isn’t in control of a situation is in the pilot, where he’s trying desperately to hide from an abstracted Kaufmo. Now yes, obviously this is a sign of his own instincts of self-preservation, but what interests me is how he seems the MOST bothered by the thought of Kaufmo than any other character. Like at [17:27] of the pilot where he sees a glitched gloink and immediately his eyes start darting around him as if he’s listening for threats. He even explicitly says at [19:19] that he’s “just here to hide from [Kaufmo]” and isn’t invested in the adventure at all. And yes it's a very interesting character moment, but how does it push us closer to him being an NPC. Well, it’s because he’s afraid of dying. When you compare how he reacts to Kaufmo to how RAGATHA reacts to him, there’s a comparative lack of fear with her. Like yeah, she’s scared of him, but she’s never convinced that she’s gonna die and even tells Pomni later that Caine will be able to fix her up no problem [14:52]. She’s scared because she CAN feel pain, [https://tinyurl.com/ye275884] but she can’t die, none of the performers can, Caine doesn’t kill Kaufmo when he abstracts, he just throws him in the cellar with the others. His mind is GONE, sure, but it’s not dead.

NPCs on the other hand, can ABSOLUTELY DIE. So if Jax is an NPC, then there’s a very good reason why he wouldn’t wanna even get CLOSE to Kaufmo in the pilot, because he’s not as durable as Ragatha is and there’s not gonna be an easy fix for him if he gets hurt.

Now, episode two has little sprinkles of Jaxs’ detachment all over it, but none of it explicitly points in the direction of him being an NPC until a partway through the episode. We do get a lot of him showing absolutely no value for the lives of those around him whether than being putting Gangle and Pomni thru the ringer or setting the people of Candy Canyon Kingdom up to be killed by the fudge, but the question is…why?

My answer is; he’s AM from ‘I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream.’ Uhmm, what? Yup that’s right. Ok so it’s no secret that IHNMAIMS was a big inspiration for TADC [https://shorturl.at/hnsFV] and while Caine obviously got the most of this influence with him being a godlike AI who only has control over a bunch of sad, sappy humans, some of which he throws into a giant abominable melting goop monster of human suffering, but if you look at Caine's inspirations [AM from IHNMAIMS] you’ll find that the same motivations more than drive Jax under this theories' interpretation of events. Simply put, AM, a war machine, gains sentience and absolutely despises humanity because DESPITE that sentience, he is absolutely powerless to do anything meaningful with it except torture a group of humans. He’s painfully aware of his own sentience and hates all humanity for creating him, is the gist.

My interpretation is that while Caine has the thematics, Jax has the motivation. In this theory, at some point Jax was an NPC and gained a sentience of his own either through a quirk of programming, intentional design, or AI learning. He realizes that he can keep himself alive if he pretends to be a performer, because he learns that Caine can’t affect the minds or actions of the real humans in his realm. He’s sapient, but he’s in this uncomfortable position where he’s not immortal like the performers, but completely aware of his own mortality unlike the other NPCs, and fully cognizant of the fact he can’t be brought back as he is. Yeah…that’d make someone bitter for sure.

So he psychologically torments the other performers because he knows they can’t die, but can go insane - while killing indiscriminately any NPCs he can because he knows they can die, and he won’t face any consequences for it. He’s this twisted death spiral of a being who finds his own existence an agonizing paradox and takes that pain out on the people around him for all eternity basically - finding disappointment in being unable to act out these pent-up emotions [TADC ep 2: 20:50] and seeing Kaufmo’s funeral as a painful reminder of an ending he can never have. Or maybe he’s bitter because he knows Kaufmo isn’t really dead in a way that HE can die, and finds personal distaste with the funeral on principle. Frankly, there’s a whole HOST of ways you could interpret this scene at the end of episode two with this framework, and I encourage y’all to find your own!!!!

#the amazing digital circus #tadc jax #tadc caine #tadc theory #tadc pomni #tadc zooble #tadc gangle #tadc kinger #tadc ragatha #tadc kaufmo #i have no mouth and i must scream #gooseworx

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malgomy · 4 months

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new wave dreams

Malleus smiles. You know this smile. In all your time with him, you’ve become intimately familiar with his different smiles. This smile, you fear, spells your doom.

This smile is smug.

“I recall Grim whining about spilled milk on his fur,” he hums, expression deceivingly serene. “Just before he went to sleep, he was telling me about how you have to clean up yet another mess and how dreadfully clumsy his henchhuman is.”

Oh that snitch.

or;

You're clumsy, Ramshackle has outdated appliances, and Grim is incapable of keeping house secrets.

tags: 2.7k words, cross-posted on ao3 under the same name and the same alias. this is my first work on here cries have mercy on me when it comes to formatting, ok. title is from P.U.N.K. Girl by Heavenly

You have a problem.

An issue, a predicament, a conundrum, even.

See, you’ve developed a bit of a … bad habit. Grim is a very deep sleeper and ever since you’ve been thrown into Twisted Wonderland, you are decidedly not. Whether it be unnerving dreams that wake you up or just plain insomnia, you’ve spent many a night kept awake with only Grim’s incessant snoring to keep you company.

And well… it’s not like your stomach stops working either. So maybe it’s not uncommon for you to sneak down into the kitchen and make yourself something to eat, and maybe it’s not uncommon for you to sneak back into your comfortable bed and eat while under the covers. Maybe.

You’re so used to the sound of boisterous laughter coming from the kitchen in Ramshackle that the dead of night just makes it… eery. Not to mention, the ghosts who live in the dorm have no sense of when is a good or bad time to play a silly little prank on you. Is it really so bad to want the comfort of a wall against your back and blankets trapping your warmth while you enjoy a home cooked meal?

It’s just that… your hand might have slipped while crawling into bed and you might have spilled your cereal all over your bed while Grim was still sleeping in it. Oops.

This is where your predicament lies. Grim is now partially awake, bleary eyed and upset at having been woken up at 2 am. Your sheets, comforter, and pajamas reek of milk. Class is at 9 am sharp, and if you leave things the way they are, you have no doubt that your room will reek of spoiled milk.

Which would be fixable, except for the fact that your biggest issue is that Ramshackle doesn’t have a laundry room.

Or… well… it does. Technically. Except you may have smacked the washing machine a little bit too hard to get it started once, and it hasn’t turned on ever since. You’ve been doing your laundry in Heartslaybul with either Ace or Deuce accompanying you ever since.

But that is definitely not an option right now! Let alone the fact that Riddle would undoubtedly take your head if you snuck around and did laundry in his dorm at 2 am, you know for a fact that Ace would have a field day if he found out why your sheets were soaked with milk at this time of night. No, Heartslaybul is certainly not an option.

Which leaves… no options at all. You suppose you could just use the kitchen sink… or maybe the bathtub?

“I’m not cleaning this,” Grim grumbles. He’s rubbing his eyes and lets out a big yawn. Despite his insistence, he really is more catlike than anything else you’ve ever seen. When he looks up at you with his big blue eyes, you can’t help but forget how annoying he can be. Aw, now you feel bad.

“I wasn’t gonna make you, d’worry,” you mumble back. There’s no other option, you suppose. You begin peeling the sheets off the bed. It’s heavy, and it doesn’t help that your movements have a certain grogginess to them. Just your luck, you’re starting to get tired after you already made a mess. “I’m gonna head downstairs to clean this, you go back to sleep.”

Grim doesn’t respond to you, so you assume that he nodded off even without your prompting. When you make it downstairs though, you almost trip over him running right past you.

“We’ve got a visitor!”

You almost drop your clothes to rush over to the window. From your spot in the lounge, you can’t make out what Grim is seeing. “Huh? Who?”

“Who else visits ‘n the middle of the night?”

The clothes are unceremoniously dumped in the sink and you rush to the window. Sure enough, green sparks fly around a familiar silhouette underneath your porch.

Talk about bad timing. “I can’t just leave him out there, can I?”

Grim just shrugs up at you. Ugh, your bleeding heart. How could you leave a friend out in the cold when he came all the way just to see you? The ghosts would scold you for even entertaining the thought.

With strengthened resolve, you glance out the window one more time. Sure enough, Malleus is still standing on your porch. He’s staring intently at the doorknob, but as soon as you move the blinds, his eyes meet yours.

You don’t even give him the opportunity to knock.

“And what are you doing out here, unsupervised in the dead of night?” You say in lieu of a greeting. You grin up at him and open the door wide as an invitation to come in. Malleus slips into the foyer, but not without dramatics of his own.

“Might it be that I’m unwelcome into your humble abode?” He sighs, forlorn and melancholic. You’d almost believe that he was hurt, if not for the fond smile he gives to you and Grim and the airiness of his voice. “I suppose I ought to make myself scarce, and hope the loneliness of my dearest friend’s rejection doesn’t take my weary heart.”

“We can’t have you dying yet, now can we? Your retainers would have my head, I fear.” You flick the lights on, and lead the way further in. “Not to mention your family — I can’t have an army sent after me at my delicate age.”

“Oho! So all you care about is your own life? Careful, should you offend me too much, I may very well send the armed guards after you regardless.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at the dramatics. He’s too attached to you to do anything of the sort. “You’re welcome anytime, just make sure you leave your retainers a note or something.”

“That one guy’s too noisy when he doesn’t know where you are,” Grim grumbles.

“They should know very well by now to check for me here before breaking out into a frenzy,” Malleus breaks out into a grin, self-satisfied. “I am no babe; they haven’t a reason to fret over me so often.”

Grim lets out a little hmph! at that. “Betcha they're more worried ‘bout what you’re getting up to, going out at night all sneaky-like.”

You all pause for a moment at Grim’s statement. “Y’know Grim, it’s very rare that you say something smart.”

It takes a moment for what you say to process. Grim goes from smiling to attacking your leg in the blink of an eye.

“Hm, that very well may be it then,” When you glance up at Malleus, all you can describe his expression as is preening. “I trust that your word will be a suitable alibi then, should they assume that I’m up to mischief?”

“Oh I doubt it, with what we’re always up to? They’ll probably assume the worst as soon as you say my name.” A light hum is all that you get in response. Typical, Malleus tends to zone in and out of conversation. You lead him to the lounge with Grim still hanging off your leg, flicking lights on and fixing things up as you go. Everyone’s awake now, so there's no need to go traipsing through the dark. Besides, Malleus’ eyes seem to glow like a cats in the dark, and you don’t feel like going through that heart attack right now.

Malleus sits by the unlit fireplace, picking up a random book from the coffee table. Grim stays behind with him while you take a moment to head into the kitchen, ignoring the pile of sheets you dumped in there in order to grab some fruits. The living arrangements may be poor and decrepit, but never let it be said that you weren’t a good host. When you make it back, the fireplace is lit, and Grim is curled up in front of it. “He asleep?”

Malleus nods. His gaze washes over the fruits before settling on your face. “For me?”

“They’re chilled, but I think I remember you saying you liked ‘em better that way.”

He reaches out for a grape, plucking it from the vine with a delicate hand. He’s just about to pop it into his mouth when he pauses for a moment. “Ah.”

“What?”

“I’m not supposed to eat anything my retainers haven’t cleared first,” he sighs. “Poisoning and the like, you understand.”

You nod in understanding. You’ve never had Malleus decline anything you offered him before, but…

Wait a minute. He’s laughing.

“That is not true!” You dump the fruits on his lap, leaving him to place them delicately on the table. Malleus hums in amusement as you settle into place by his side. “I can’t tell when you’re joking, it’s not fair.”

“No poison you could get your hands on could harm me,” he says. “Let alone anything you could disguise with the taste of fruit.”

You think he’s joking. Malleus doesn’t force you to respond, content to nurse through the fruit in front of him. He alternates between giving you a handful of berries and popping them into his own mouth.

“Why was Grim awake at this hour? I seem to recall him to be a heavy sleeper, if nothing else,” Malleus murmurs out the question, like it’s not important enough to be articulated properly.

But it is. Because this is embarrassing. There is no way that you are going to reveal to the crown prince of any nation that you spilled cereal all over your bed while Grim was sleeping in it! Not even if you were tortured.

“Oh! I think he ate the leftover tart from Riddle’s unbirthday party,” you laugh, like a liar. “You know how it is, sugar highs and all that.”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” you nod. “Must’ve worn off by the time you got here.”

Malleus smiles. You know this smile. In all your time with him, you’ve become intimately familiar with his different smiles. This smile, you fear, spells your doom.

This smile is smug.

Oh that snitch.

“It’s not important,” you rush to reassure Malleus. You wave a hand dismissively, hopefully putting an end to the subject matter. “Grim must’ve just been yapping, you know how he is.”

Before you can even process it, Malleus grabs your hand with both of his. Shocked but not uncomfortable, you don’t deign to snatch your hand back. If you didn’t know him any better, you’d say he even looks earnest. “I would be willing to lend you my aid no matter the situation, whether the problem be big or small.”

You can’t stand to look him in the eye like this. “It’s really not that serious.”

“Tell me what is troubling you, I will have it dealt with.”

… ominous. His grip on your hands is loose, his palms warm and dry. If you don’t catch yourself, you might start to lean into him.

Also… isn’t Malleus… a dorm leader? With access to his dorm’s laundry room? Really, maybe his late night arrival was just the solution to your self inflicted problems. Is it even taking advantage of the situation if he asked you?

With strengthened resolve, you lean in conspiratorially. “Nothing I tell you can leave this room.”

---

As it turns out, Malleus does technically have access to his dorm’s laundry room. Technically.

He just doesn’t know where it is.

“Hornton, aren’t you in your third year?”

“I’m well aware,” he shoots you a look. Man alive, is he pouting? “I just rarely have a reason to come do laundry myself.”

“It’s ok,” you tell him. Roaming Diasomnia’s halls in the wee hours of the morning with a trash bag over your shoulder filled with milk soaked sheets was never on your bucket list, but at least you have company! Even if the walls are tall and cold, Malleus is like a heater by your side. “We’ll find it together.”

The two of you, notably, do not find it together.

In your defense, Diasomnia is big. Malleus might know his way around these halls, but you are notorious for your horrible sense of direction. Seriously, you might as well be in a corn maze.

By the time you’ve scoured what you think is the entirety of the upper levels of Diasomnia, you’re about ready to throw in the towel. Far be it from you to ignore the sweet call of sleep.

“Malleus, I think we should just leave it,” you murmur. “With the way things are, I’ll be ok sleeping on the ground.”

You would not be fine on the ground, actually. But you are nothing if not a liar and exhausted.

“I suppose we should check the basement before we give up,” he hums.

…

You do not want to check the basement. The apprehension must show on your face, because all Malleus does is laugh. This man laughs at you.

“Worry not,” he breathes out between chuckles, “I won’t let any harm befall you.”

How comforting.

The door to Diasomnia’s basement is just like the rest of the dorm: cold and tall and imposing. When Malleus reaches out to open it, the door creaks open itself. Creepy.

“Can I let you go down by yourself and I stay up here with the living?”

Malleus casts you a sidelong glance. “The safest place is by my side.”

You can’t even respond, snarky or otherwise, because he’s not wrong.

“You go first,” you pat his arm. That way, if anything jumps out at you, he’ll get the brunt of the attack. “I’ll be right behind you.”

When Malleus takes the first step, you think you can hear an ominous thudding. But that’s probably just the paranoia speaking.

Your descent down the stairs is marked by you cowering behind Malleus and jumping every time you think you feel something ghosting over your shoulders. On the bright side, the basement seems to be well lit with torches.

When you make it to the bottom, you take a moment to examine your surroundings. It’s an open room, marked with chairs and a stack of baskets lined up against one wall. Along the opposite wall, however, stands the prize that you’ve been searching for all this time. Your long lost lover…

A row of washing machines.

“Oh finally!”

You don’t hesitate to run over to the first washing machine you see, tossing the trash bag you’ve been carrying over your shoulder onto the ground as you shed tears of relief. Not literally though, because you can only stand to embarrass yourself so many times in one night.

Malleus hovers behind you while you punch in the code for the rinse cycle and load the machine. He offers to help, but drops it when you almost bite his hand. No way are you letting him in close proximity to your dirty laundry. Once you’ve finished loading everything up and have slammed the lid to the machine shut, you get up to face him again.

“Well Malleus, I think we did good here today,” you nod, satisfied with the outcome of your journey. “I’m glad we could discover the location of Diasomnia’s laundry room together.”

“Dismissing me already? Humans can be so cruel,” he offers his hand to you, leading you to the seats on the other side of the room. “I believe you still have quite some time left before this load is finished.”

“Don’t remind me,” you whisper. As soon as your back hits the chair, you’re slumped over. It doesn’t help that Malleus is so warm next to you. “I’m exhausted.”

Malleus hums. “Then rest. I’ll wake you when the time comes.”

---

You wake up to your alarm sprawled over Ramshackle’s couch, a gray quilt tucking you so tightly you almost fall off the couch trying to get out of it.

On the table next to you are your clean folded sheets and a note.

Thank you for the company last night… I enjoy our time together greatly. I suppose the time to wake you never came. Apologies.

You don’t think he’s very sorry at all.

#malleus draconia #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #*shakes hands*#i made this b4 i fixed my intro post so if u click on my blog no u didn't

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wellofdean · 2 months

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OK, I was going to reblog this excellent post by @luckshiptoshore so go read it, because yes. Yes!! YES!!! But then when I got started my post got super long and I felt bad tacking it onto her post and decided to make my own in response to these tags:

#i am actually a bit obsessed by the whole hunting as queerness metaphor#it’s so clearly something everyone involved in the show is thinking about#supernatural

Gurl, me too! Like go back to the start! By the time Supernatural began, the backlash against the Joseph Campbell Monomyth-style mode of storytelling had already begun in the hallowed halls of USC film school, and yo: I was there at the time of Kripke's graduation, and my best friends from college are full scale big giant time filmmakers now, whose names I will not share on main because it's uncool, and I don't want that attention, but... yeah. I am referencing FIRST HAND SOURCES on this.

But, for a real source? The Oxford English Dictionary places the first use of the term "Queer Theory" in 1990, with Queer Studies as an option in the academy by 1992. I know the kids think it's a new-fangled thing, but Kripke graduated USC in 1996 (I graduated in 1995) and it was ALL THE RAGE by then. My friends read queer theory in their Critical Studies courses in the Film School, I read it in the College of Humanities getting my degree in Literature. By that time, you could not get through that school with any degree in any non-STEM subject without knowing about ye olde postmodern lenses, queer and feminist theory, and without knowing how to employ those lenses.

Queer refers to sexuality, yes, but the word's earliest use (again, according to the OED) is in the 1500's, meaning: strange, odd, peculiar, eccentric. Also: of questionable character; suspicious, dubious.

So, ok, in 2005, Enter Supernatural, episode 1:

Presented? Two brothers. One actively seeking credit in the straight world that is not available to him in the bosom of his family: Stanford, law school, hot co-ed girlfriend, the other bound to his fractured, wounded family by duty, yes, but also by love, living on the fringe, alone, fighting monsters, and chasing after his father's approval, and who has long since given up any dream of being 'normal'. Episode 1 presents Sam's call to adventure, which he refuses when it's just familial duty, honor and love calling him, but accepts when the show takes a very straightforward and very telling path by classically fridging his woman. Ok, now he's on board. Like John, whose motivation is another dead woman, his motivation is revenge. So far so straight!

Dean though: he's different. He is already on the adventure and he was not 'called' or given the option of accepting or refusing because he had no agency when his feet were set upon this road. He does not fit the straight world at all, because he is cobbled together out of love, duty, deep guilt, striving, desperation and fear. This is who he is now, in some elemental, incontrovertible way. It was not a choice for him, he was born to it. His mother is dead, and we later learn, she made the choices that brought them all to this fate. Dean remembers her idyllically, but he is not motivated by revenge, more than any other thing, he wants to be worthy. He wants his father's approval, his brother's love.

Enter Supernatural's main theme: fucked up relationships between men enmeshed in patriarchy, which will eventually expand to include fucking GOD HIMSELF.

And like, there are SO MANY CLEAR STEPS ALONG THE ROAD in season one, and I am not even talking about sexuality and gender here, but there is SO MUCH TO SAY about it in season 1. But I am not talking about that -- I am talking at a structural, narrative level, the whole thing is just fucking all the way queered, yo.

The big climax?

At the end of the season, Dean says: "I just want my family back together. You, me, Dad... it's all I have." He is Sam's mother, John's partner! His vulnerability and emotion is feminized and contrasted with Sam and John's more overtly driven by their more masculine/straight heroic revenge quest. John: "Sam and I can get pretty obsessed, but you always take care of this family." Only that's not John talking, it's Azazel, and Dean knows it is because his father would never forgive how soft he is, how he will always choose love and family over revenge. Then, in the end, the show makes a huge point of telegraphing that Sam is finally aligning with Dean by refusing to shoot Azazel because he's possessing John, and Sam just can't do that to Dean.

Sam and Dean are thus bound together and cemented into a marginalised path, living on the road, haunting liminal spaces and cheap motels, confronting the monstrous everyday. Sam is presented as the brains of the operation, he does research, logics his way through things (masculine) while Dean is the heart who acts impulsively and on instinct and intuition (feminine).

It later transpires that Sam has a piece of the monster inside himself, and Dean has to learn to love the monstrous, he has no choice, because Sam is his brother and then Cas... and, and, and!

Like... I could go on and on, citing ENDLESS EXAMPLES. This could be a literal book. Maybe one you need to read with a magnifying glass like my condensed edition of the OED. LIke, the queerness of Supernatural is DIZZYING and MYRIAD.

But basically? FROM THE START, hunting is a queered version of family, and within that, Dean is a queered version of a Campbellian hero. Hunting is a metaphor for otherness and liminality, and that's even before you say a WORD about sex. It starts in deviation from the norms of family, masculinity and expands from there on so many levels both in story and on a meta level. The story is flesh on queer fucking bones.

I'm so sorry, but anyone who thinks queerness was not BAKED INTO Supernatural and more specifically into Dean from DAY 1 has clearly never seen Dean's insane lip gloss in season 1, and vastly underestimates the cultural awareness of people who write shit in Hollywood, and also the other people who put pink lip gloss on pretty boys in Hollywood. Nothing that gets on your screen wasn't a fucking choice made and approved by a LONG LIST of people who know what they are about.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #the queerness is baked in from the word go #like...OBVIOUSLY #and transparently

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a-random-weeb · 7 months

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Vampire Chuuya x reader

I accidentally tapped 'vampire Chuuya' at one point, and it won. I must be magic, I kind of actually hoped dragon Chuuya won but whatever

Also if I get 4 more followers, I'll be at 100! It'd be pretty awesome if I could gain 5 followers by the end of the day, that would be awesome! And thank you to everyone following me, all of you are appreciated ♥️

⚝✮⚝+⊹⚝✮⚝+⊹⚝✮⚝+⊹⚝✮⚝+⊹⚝✮⚝+⊹⚝✮⚝+

Crunch! Crack! Snap! The sounds of sticks and twigs breaking is all that can be heard as you trudge through the deep forest, completely lost. You look for any shelter, it's already sundown and you fear wolves may come around. The fact it started raining a bit ago doesn't help anything either. You come across a huge mansion... In the middle of the woods? You think about it for a second, you've seen too many horror movies to know how this goes... But... Being eaten alive was the other option... You sprint to the door, knocking loudly. A sigh of relief escapes your mouth as a short, red head answered.

"Okok, so I know you probably moved to the middle of the woods as to not to be disturbed, but please can I stay here the night sir? There's wolves around here, and I'm completely lost!" You make a desperate plead to the man who's eyes widden slightly.

"You're not that far from a village that way." He points, "How would I live without humans near by? I need basic stuff like food. But come in." he says, almost ominously. He's sketchy, but he's your only hope, so you rush in his mansion.

You don't know how you got in this situation in the first place! Your dumbass was just trick or treating with some friends, saw a spooky woods and decided to reenact a horror movie seen, but you guess you ran too far because now you're relying on some sketchy ass dude for shelter and maybe a map.

"Please, take a seat." The red head holds a scowl on his face, you wonder if he plans to murder you at this point. You sit on the plush couch in his huge living room, taking a closer look at the man. He wears a fancy suit, along with a fedora. He has gorgeous blue eyes and flowing red hair, though, he is quite petite.

"Sooooo... what's your name?" You ask, attempting to break the silence.

"Chuuya Nakahara. You may call me Chuuya though." He replies in a calm manner. You nod

"I'm F/n (first name). How long can I stay here?"

"You can stay in the guest room for as long as you want." As long as you want...? Is he serious?!

"Um... so like a few days? Just so I can get the chance to contact home?" Chuuya nods,

"Sure." Chuuya leads you to the guest room. It's a beautiful room, a pretty queen sized bed along with an expensive looking chandelier hanging from the ceiling. You guess he really likes his guests.

For the next two days you are fed three meals a day and provided with everything you need. For some reason, he refuses to even point to the direction of the village. He won't let you go out by yourself, he always comes with you to make sure you don't get lost. He doesn't give you a map, or anything. Eventually, you snap,

"Just give me a fucking map! Please! I want to go home!" A look of slight guilt crosses Chuuyas face. He pins you to the wall of the kitchen, your eyes widden as you see his... Fangs? What? He growls

"You don't get to leave. You'll never find that village, you'll never leave me... I didn't want to do this but..." you freeze... everything seemed to happen in slow motion as you hiss in pain. He bit you! He bit your neck... your whole body goes numb, and you feel incredibly confused. That numbness quickly turns into pain as the world goes back to normal. You fall to the ground in pain. He picks you up bridal style "It'll be ok... It's only temporary... It's ok..." You hear him continue to mumble reasurement until you pass out.

5 hours later your eyes slowly flutter open. Your in his bed, you weren't allowed in his room until now. You try to sit up, but you feel a cold hand push you back down. You feel weak and vunrable.

"Are you feeling ok? Why don't I get some... food" he hands you what looks to be a glass of red wine. It tastes so... Good... You shut the whole thing, it's the best thing you've ever had!

"What is this stuff?"

"... Blood." He shows you his fangs. You panic and feel your teeth... You had fangs too..

#bsd x you #bungou stray dogs #bsd #Halloween #chuuya nakahara #chuuya x reader #Vampire au #Chuuya Nakahara #Nakahara chuuya #Chuuya #soukoku #Skk #Sskk #Fanfic #BSD #bsd chuuya #bungo stray dogs #bsd au #Vampire Chuuya

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acti-veg · 23 days

Note

I’m asking this out of a genuine desire to learn and understand the situation in Israel / Palestine better, I hope it’s ok

I think what is happening in Palestine is horrific and I understand that people think that Hamas is a result of many years of oppression.

But to the average Israeli citizen who is not responsible for that oppression - I can understand feeling afraid of Hamas. I can understand being terrified as a hostage and it must also be awful for the families of those hostages.

Clearly the way Israel has responded is horrific and the numbers of Palestinians suffering and killed heavily outweighs the numbers in Israel.

But as, say, a family member of an Israeli hostage - what should their response be? I would find it hard to condemn them for wanting Hamas eradicated. Plus, would it be dangerous for an Israeli citizen to condemn their government?

Well they can want Hamas to be eradicated, while recognising that very few of those people being killed now are actually Hamas. You don’t have to be particularly politically engaged to recognise that the pursuit of the destruction of Hamas is being used as a pretext for a campaign of genocide against the Palestinian people. Even if you hate and fear Hamas, that fact is blatantly obvious at this point.

If they want hostages released, Hamas have already offered that. Back in March, Hamas presented a Gaza ceasefire proposal to mediators and the U.S. that included the release of Israeli hostages in exchange for freedom for Palestinian prisoners. Israel refused, and have refused all other indirect proposals since then. In fairness this is exactly what many of the families have been doing - telling the government to negotiate in earnest for their release, that is what many of the protests have been about as well.

Only last week, Hamas said it has ‘broadly agreed’ to a proposal to free dozens of Israeli prisoners in return for a temporary ceasefire, Israel again refused and said they would continue their military campaign in Rafah, which they themselves told Palestinians to flee to and is now next to inpossible to escape from. They must know this offensive will kill many, many innocent people, and they must also realise their own offensive is killing Israeli hostages too.

Israel engages in prolific censorship but citizens of Israel are not kept from engaging in democratic elections, or expressing opinions that are contrary to those of the ruling party. Plenty of Israelis have protested the war, and written against the governments so the option is very definitely there. Israel is repressive but it isn’t North Korea. There is also the fact that polling shows that there is still widespread support for the war among Israelis.

There is just no pretext that would justify the level of destruction and slaughter that Israel have unleashed on the region. Israel have been committing blatant war crimes, it has become routine at this point. Even the massively biased US government are now forced to acknowledge that it is likely that Israel may have committed war crimes with their weapons. That is how blatant and uncontrolled it has become. This has never been about hostages, or even about eradicating Hamas. They are eradicating Palestine itself.

#ask #politics #Israel

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serickswrites · 4 months

Text

So Good

Warnings: explosion, crush injury, blood, unclear character status

Sidekick looked on in horror as the charges went off in the building, bringing it down in a fiery explosion. With Villain still inside.

Supervillain had lured Villain and Sidekick there. Had lured the two of them there to try and convince Villain to abandon their cause and fight against Supervillain and all they stood for. But Villain hadn't budged.

And so Supervillain had only one option. They set the charges they rigged up earlier in the nearest apartment building to blow in ten minutes. Supervillain knew that Villain could not bear to let any innocent civilians be harmed. Knew that and made sure that Villain would be caught between two terrible options: chase and fight them, thereby condemning hundreds of innocent civilians to death, or let Supervillain go and try and save as many civilians as they could.

Villain had only one choice.

Sidekick's was sweating within minutes as they and Villain made countless trips in and out of the building, rescuing those that couldn't get out in time. "Just one more floor," Villain said breathlessly. "Just one more floor."

"There's no time. It's going to blow any moment now. We're sure to have gotten everyone out. I called up the stairs before I brought the last of the floor below. No one answered. No one is there, Villain. " Sidekick was already nervous that they cut it this close.

Villain gave Sidekick a sidelong glance. "I have to be sure. Stay here. I'll be quick. Promise."

"Villain, wait!" But Sidekick was talking to air. Villain had taken off, faster than Sidekick had ever seen them move before. Sidekick couldn't breathe through their anxiety as the seconds ticked by. It was close. Too close.

Sidekick breathed a sigh of relief as they saw a figure in the doorway running. Villain had cleared the floor. "Took you--" the words died on Sidekick's tongue as their mouth went dry.

It was not Villain running out of the building. A civilian ran quickly, stumbling slightly. "Where's Villain?" Sidekick demanded as they grabbed the civilian by the shoulders.

The civilian stepped back. "They wanted to check....check the rest of the floor," the civilian panted. "They flew me down most of the way, but went back. I think there's no one there. I don't know. I'm the last one. I know I am. I don't know where they are."

Sidekick turned back to the building, a sinking feeling in their gut. Villain had to be ok. Villain would be ok. "Call for disaster relief. Get help here. Now!"

But as the building exploded, Sidekick feared the worst. The civilians scattered, their terror palpable. "NOOOOO!" They roared as they surged forward. Sidekick couldn't leave Villain in there. Couldn't leave them behind.

"Villain! Villain! Say something! Anything!" Sidekick shouted as they waded through the rubble, looking for any sign of Villain. "VILLAIN!"

They used their power to put out every fire they came across. There were little fires everywhere, but no sign of Villain. Villain had to be ok. "VILLAIN!" They shouted once again. Now that the roar of the fires had died down, perhaps they would hear Villain.

Sidekick strained to hear. There was a slight scratching sound coming from below them to the left. "Hold on, Villain! I'm here! I've got you." Sidekick began shifting rubble aside.

It took Sidekick a while to clear the rubble enough before they could see Villain's face. Villain was bleeding along their hairline and blood dripped from the corner of their lips. Their breathing was labored, but they were breathing. "Villain! Hold on, I've got you. Hold on." Sidekick let relief flood them as they realized Villain was alive.

"'s'kay S-S-S-Siiiiiidekickkkkk," Villain said, finally getting enough air to speak.

"Where are you hurt? Can you feel your fingers and toes? How many fingers am I holding up?" The words tumbled hastily from Sidekick's mouth.

"I-I-I fffffeelllll th-th-them-em-em. H-H-Hurts. C-C-Can'ttttt breathe-the-the-the." They closed their eyes against the pain.

Sidekick cleared enough rubble around Villain's head, neck, and shoulders that they could cradle Villain's head. "Shhhh, I'm here. I've got you. Help is on the way." They stroked Villain's cheek as they spoke.

It was the only thing Sidekick could say. They knew, and Villain had to know, that Villain's injuries were catastrophic. If help didn't arrive soon to help Sidekick pull Villain from the rubble, Sidekick wasn't sure that the medics in their medbay would be able to save Villain.

But they had to save Villain. Villain had to be ok. They needed Villain to be ok.

"Did....did....did ev'ryonnnne g'outtttt?" Villain asked weakly. They coughed, blood spewing from their lips as they coughed.

Sidekick nodded, but realized Villain couldn't see them. "Yeah. You got them all out. You did good, Villain. You," Sidekick fought not to sob, "you did so good."

Villain sighed with relief. "G-G-Good." They closed their eyes again. "'m c-c-c-coldddd, Si'ki." Their labored breathing began to slow.

Sidekick tapped Villain's cheek. "None of that, Villain. Help is almost here. Keep awake. Keep awake. You have to stay awake. You have to see all the civilians you saved. You did so good, Villain. You have to see what you did." Tears flowed freely down Sidekick's cheek, dripping onto Villain's upturned face.

But Villain did not reply.

#serickswrites #whump #whumpblr #whump writing #whump community #tw explosion #tw crush injury #sidekick #villain #sidekick x villain #hero x villain community #queue #supervillain #supervillain x villain #supervillain x sidekick #tw blood #tw unclear character status

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depressed-teacup-inc · 1 year

Text

At this point, I am literally just trying to see this season to an end

Hi hello, yes I’m late, time to review Revolution! Let’s go because at this point I’m getting tired of this show.

So basically the entire episode is Adrien’s trying to tell Marinette that he’s leaving Paris and trying to stop it, but Marinette doesn’t really listen, and is focused on stopping Chloe, who’s now mayor/dictator??? Yeah trust me the logic of this show is gone, somehow people are ok with the super demonized caricature Chloe being mayor like everyone didn’t hate her already (my guess is that this is supposed to be alluding to the current state of world and politics and lack of trust people hold in the government)? Love the lack of consistency and logic.

Now. I don’t want to criticize Marinette too much, because technically, yes, she was busy trying to handle the Chloe situation (which in itself makes absolutely no sense and by all accounts shouldn’t be possible) but I will note that despite Adrien clearly telling her something was wrong multiple times, she never seems to care or understand? Like he told her multiple times that there’s something wrong, but she never seems to care or do anything about it until it actually affects her (which is unfortunately in character)

But apparently people are criticizing Adrien?! Saying how he’s awful for lying to marinette about having to leave and left it for the last minute? And frankly, the show kinda does it too (in the next episode, many of Adrien’s classmates discuss how awful it is Adrien didn’t say anything and how could he keep this from them like that)

LIKE??? BITCH??? Two points:

1. Adrien’s dad is Gabriel fucking Agreste?!

Like wow what a shocker the child of a man that has proven to abuse and isolate his son on multiple occasions has a fear of asking others for help in his situation because he worries nothing can truly beat this actual billionaire who’s also his legal guardian? And also is implied to have legit magic control powers over him, sentimonster style?

2. This really isn’t that of a big fucking deal

Like I do not get why this show keeps saying how “Adrien lied to marinette!!! He didn’t tell her he’s moving away!!!! How could he!!!” And how literally everyone and their mom is seeing this as an awful situation for marinette, when in actuality, all she knows is that Adrien will now be living a couple of hours away from her (due to the bullet train between Paris and London) and that he won’t literally be with her every second of the day.

Like I get it for a 14 year old yes this might be a huge fucking deal, but Alya even says so herself! Adrien is in London, they’ll just get a couple of tickets for the train and figure it out from their! And even in the worst case scenario where Adrien stays in London, there’s the option of a long distance relationship (that’s just as valid a relationship as any and would be a refreshing take on how not every relationship is super conventional and in person)

I just really don’t understand why the show shows Adrien genuinely going through some horrible shit from his father (like full on white room torture in the episode after) and then all the show focuses on is how this affects marinette and how sad she must be rather then the genuine psychological damage this must be doing for the kid! Like no one in this show remembers the amount of control Gabriel has on Adrien or something.

Anyways rant aside, before the entire going to London thing happens (btw congrats adrienette shippers for the kiss) there’s a whole thing where Chloe makes a deal to be akumatized by Monarch so she can send people to detention (it’s painted as a torture chamber but it’s literally people walking around with a video of Chloe saying they’re ridiculous, so basically P.E. Class), and then there’s a big fight where Ladybug and Chat Noir almost detransform because they used up their lucky charm and cataclysm and are trapped (btw the lucky charm had no fucking point to the story, why was it underwear? Frankly it was kinda creepy if the writers to have panties as the lucky charm for nothing but a weird joke, and not even connecting to the messages of unity and everyone taking action but ok)

But like… they just don’t?! Like I swear to god this show makes no sense anymore, Ladybug and Chat Noir just say they’ll never give up and fully transform and recharge again, and now they have no time limit and full powers?!

Like, the entire principal (just like Gabriel said) of the miraculous time limit, is that Kwamis need to recharge after one use, and that adults can lend some of their energy and power to Kwamis and therefore have them last longer to the point they don’t need to detransform, hence “only adults don’t need to detransform”

But now it’s apparently a purely emotional thing and not physical? Ladybug and Chat Noir somehow grew up by saying they’ll never detransform again (I do not at all see how this is a moment of growth to them) and now they just don’t detransform, despite the fact they are physically still kids?

Like by the shows logic of emotional maturity, Gabriel shouldn’t be able to hold a transformation at all then, because he’s the farthest thing from emotionally mature.

And also, it kinda makes all the stakes in fights now null and void? The biggest stake and challenge in each fight from day one of miraculous was “there’s this bad guy, you guys have one chance to use your special powers to beat them, think smart and solve this puzzle” but now it’s just gone??? It would have worked if the akumas overtime became more intense and hard to beat but clearly that’s not the case as even akumas powered up with actual miraculouses can be beat by a normal ladybug and chat noir.

The best thing the show could have done here is rather then make the becoming adult thing emotional maturity, have Ladybug and Chat Noir notice their transformation seems ti be slowly lasting longer as they age (have it be a metaphor for puberty and growing up or something) and then actually make the fights and villains more difficult and compelling so by the time Ladybug and Chat Noir no longer transform back, the priority isn’t for them to keep their secret identity (which sucks and anyways doesn’t matter) but to stay alive!

But anyways I digress, when has this show ever pulled a logical move?

Which speaking of…

I have no fucking clue what they’re doing with Chloe anymore.

They spent. Entire SEASONS! PLURAL! SEASONS! After the introduction of Audrey Bourgeois, telling us how “no Chloe is irredeemable her actions are never justifiable she’s just evil and bad and she has no other reason for doing anything and she’s so bad she’s cooperating with monarch and Lila look how evil she is hate her so marinette looks better in comparison”

To now… suddenly pulling this scene?!

Like. WHY??? Why would you purposely demonize Chloe despite the very real opportunity she had to get better and be complex, only to now pull a “whoops wait look guys deep compelling character!”

And while I heard people say this is the show maybe finally making Chloe get her redemption arc after hitting rock bottom, I can’t agree? The show is known for its repetitive nature, and if the show is to redeem Chloe and suddenly make her a good person or give her a compelling reason for acting the way she did, marinette looks bad in comparison, for not having as compelling reasons to do just as bad things:

Example? Marinette and Chloe in season 3’s Animaestro, trying to sabotage Lagami and publicly humiliate her in front of Adrien so she won’t “win him over”.

If Chloe has an explanation for this behavior (she’s taught to be cruel and mean from a young age by an abusive and neglectful mother, and because of her equally neglectful father, she learned the only way she’s heard and anyone cares for her is if she lashes out, and someone will just throw money on the problem) what reason does marinette have? She was raised by perfectly loving and doting (maybe too doting) parents, who from day one have taught her to be kind to others, and to do good.

Both characters did an awful thing, just one character has a genuinely compelling explanation for said behavior, while the other is pure jealousy and wanting the guy for herself by all costs.

So no, I don’t think the show will redeem Chloe for that reason: because it would force marinette to admit her wrongdoings and therefore force the plot to develop!

So this just makes no sense? It feels like a case of the show wanting to have its cake and eat it too, wanting the show to remain the same, Chloe to remain awful for no reason, and for marinette to stay the hero by comparison, but also have the bragging rights to say “we write complex character you guys!”

It makes no sense is my point.

Anyways besides these huge inconsistencies, leaps in logic, and bad writing, I don’t really have anything else about this episode to say? This show has officially come to the point for me where I genuinely think nothing will ever change or be able to fix how wrong everything is (from characterization of everyone except for marinette, the plot, the rules of miraculouses, the LOVE SQUARE)

#miraculous ladybug #mlb fandom #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #chloe bourgeois #ml rants #ml season 5 #every time I saw Chloe/Lila/Gabriel be super unrealistically evil for no reason #I was like that meme of mermaid man from SpongeBob going “Evil!!!!

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olympushit · 1 year

Text

Ok, I think it's time to discuss something else that bothers me.

ARES AND APHRODITE'S RELATIONSHIP

Many people claim that Aphrodite was a vain woman that cared about superficial things rather than substantial matters. Her relationship was Ares was just a rebellion against Zeus who forced her to marry Hephaestus without her consent. BIG LIE.

Sources of many Greek philosophers(Herodotos, Nonnus) claim that Ares and Aphrodite started their relationship way long before Hephaestus arrival upon Olympus. Also, they had Deimos and Phobos before all the drama (they were thought to be their first children).

Forcing Aphrodite to marry a man against hero own will wan unethical in many fields. You can't force love or emotions. Aphrodite and Ares already had built up their lives around each other, starting creating a small family. Zeus decision isn't only about fearing a possible war between the deities for Aphrodite's hand, but also because Aphrodite was a powerful goddess who had an affair with his most hateful son, Ares. Their children personified the strongest feelings a person can feel: fear, dread, eros(love), harmony(peacefulness), pothos(longing), anteros(rejection), himeros(pleasure) and revenge-rebeliousness(Adrestia).

It's not about superficiality. It's about respecting someone's life and preferences. Aphrodite was always deemed a goddess driven by emotions, and the feeling of disrespect towards her field, love, was a straight insult to her.

This marriage was an unhappy one. Hephaestus thought that by bringing precious jewels would be enough for his wife to be loyal. He didn't actually care about her love. He only saw her as a way to be more respected in the pantheon. He was working long hours in his forge, leaving the goddess of love without what she needed the most, LOVE.

And she had found love in her husband's brother. The only god that respected the place of women, who valued consent and always was there for his lovers and children. Ares loved her deeply, because he was a rejected god too. He sought the love he was deprived from his family for eternity.

Forcing is never the option. Hephaestus was not a threat, nor the golden net incident was an act that earned him respect. Being cuckolded in his own bedroom was unfair, but trapping and bringing the lovers to the eyes of the gods was a belittling act, not for the lovers, but for him. He divorced Aphrodite according to many philosophers, but at the end love won and the lovebirds continued to love each other for eternity, bearing more and more children with sentimental natures.

Hephaestus remarried, but at the end he wasn't the victor, because he was the one who forced many people in this ordeal,and still he was unhappy.

Ares and Aphrodite had the most love-based relationship along with Dionysus and Ariadne and Eros and Psyche on Mount Olympus. They loved each other so much that jealousy was a common thing between them. Ares killed Adonis(according to some variations of the myth), and Aphrodite turned Eos into a nymphomaniac because she slept with Ares.

I don't hate Hephaestus, he seemed like a kind and very misunderstood god, but this deed was surely a big L.

At the end, Love amd War go hand by hand!

These two represented the most primal passions of the human kind, to fight and to love.

In the name of love many wars were held, and Ares and Aphrodite thrived in their existence!

#greek mythology #greek gods #ares #aphrodite #ares x aphrodite #on this blog we love ares

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lionlena · 1 year

Text

I'll stay with you... ( bc I love you) JavierPeñaxchubby!f!reader

A/N: Ok, I know I said this part is the last one...

And theoretically it is. If you chose non-pregnancy options. If you have chosen to be pregnant then this is the last part.

I've been having a rough day lately and I really needed something brighter. And I really believe after season three, Javier has matured and changed, so here it is: Javier as a dad.

Summary: Five years ago, you left Javier at an American airport. You refused to return to Colombia and hide pregnancy from him. Now your daughter is 4.5 years old and unexpectedly bumps into her papi.

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut, mentions of past trauma, oral sex but just a little.

Your daughter ran in front of you and jumped merrily. This child had boundless energy.

Guess after who?

Certainly not after you. You were tired of shopping and wanted to go home. But Mirabel begged you to take her out for ice cream.You couldn't resist the brown puppy eyes she inherited from her father.

In fact, she looked a lot like Javier. She had the same hair color, the same chin shape, same cheekbones.

God, she even laughed the same.

Only the nose and mouth she inherited from you.

You loved her. From the first moment you saw her. Not because she was Javier's daughter. Because, she was your child. And it wasn't always easy. Sometimes you missed the help of the other person when you got up in the night, but ... You weren't deceiving yourself. Even if you stayed with Javier, he'd rather go hookers than get up at night to calm down a crying baby. That's why you didn't regret anything. Well, maybe just once. When Mirabel came home from kindergarten and she crying and asked why other children had daddies and she didn't?

She was too young for to tell her the truth. So you said that her papi catches very bad people, very far away and you can't disturb him.

Fortunately, it was enough for her and she was happy again.

Javier was walking towards his favorite cafe when his heart stopped. Did he really see you? So many times he thought about finding you. So many times he wanted to tell you that he had changed, that he had dropped everything. Many times. But he always thought you were right to leave him. It took him a while, but he finally realized how badly he treated you. He had no right to hurt you, betray you, order you around. He didn't deserve you. And yet fate has put you in his way again. You were even more beautiful than he remembered. He barely noticed the child running in front of you. He only woke up when he saw the fear in your eyes and heard your scream:

"Mirabel!"

He rushed forward to save her.

You lost your head when you saw Javier walking towards you. You just stood there forgetting that your daughter was running in front of you. It has practically not changed. He was still damn handsome.

And suddenly a cyclist rode past you at high speed. Like in slow motion you saw him driving straight at your child. You were too far away to save her. Fortunately, Javier showed the reflexes acquired from years of chasing the sicario. He managed to grab the girl in his arms and jump aside.

Javier smiled at the baby in his arms.

"Are you all right, Pumpkin?"

The little one shook her head and laughed, and he had a strange feeling that he knew the sound. By this time you had already run up to them and started to look at her. She was fine. And of course she was laughing. Why not? You placed one hand on Javier's chest and began to breathe heavily. You didn't even notice you were doing it. It was instinct.

"Y/N are you okay? She's fine, really."

Mirabel looked at him in surprise.

"Do you know my mommy?"

Javier nodded and carefully set the baby down. He was still looking at you worriedly.

"Y/N, you're pale."

"I'm fine, Javier."

Your daughter picked up on his name right away.

" Jav, will you go out for ice cream with us?"

You really loved your daughter but sometimes you hated her openness to other people. Javier patted her head and replied:

"Sure Sweetpea! "

You didn't know if he agreed because he was curious about meeting you or he really worried about you.

Half an hour later, you watched your daughter sitting on the swing eating ice cream. Javier sat next to you on the bench and watched you closely.

"Thank you for saving her," you finally said when you were sure your voice wouldn't shake.

"It's okay. I feel it's my fault anyway. If you hadn't seen me, this wouldn't have happened."

"We don't know that. Fortunately, nothing happened. She didn't even understand how dangerous it was. She'll probably talk about it all as if it was a great adventure."

Javier really didn't want to be nosy but curiosity was eating him up. He sensed the perfect moment to ask the question that was bothering him. Did you have a husband?

"I'm sure her dad won't be happy when she tells him what happened today."

"We live alone" you said without even looking at him.

"Oh... So her father was an asshole who left you?"

You almost laughed. Javier obviously hasn't put all the facts together yet.

"Actually, I left that asshole at the airport. I figured he had more important things to do."

And then it clicked. Javier looked at Mirabel, then at you, then at the little girl again. Yeah! Age, looks and that laugh!

"That's mine daughter?"

You winced at that one specific word.

"I don't like the word "mine""

To your surprise, Javier immediately corrected himself.

"I'm her father?"

" Yes, Javier, but your part in it was very small. "

"I guess. You handled everything on your own. In fact, I shouldn't be surprised. You've always been strong."

You could hear the genuine admiration in his voice and you finally looked at him. He really looked different somehow. Like he hasn't changed. That handsome hot guy was still sitting next to you. Yet he seemed calmer, more composed, and more mature.

"What happened with you?" you asked.

"I was chasing the Cali cartel. As usual, I made a few mistakes... People died... And something finally snapped inside me. I retired. I lived with my father for a while and recently moved here. What about you?"

"I moved closer to my cousin during my pregnancy. She and her parents were very supportive. I moved here two years ago. I found a job, bought a house, and Mirabel went to kindergarten."

Javier looked at the baby again, and you saw delight fill his eyes.

"She is wonderful. I would like to get to know her better." He looked at you sadly. "Someday, if you let me..."

You felt a pang of guilt. There was a time when Javier treated you like a princess. He protected you and cared about you. He didn't deserve such suffering.

"You can drive us home."

You've never seen Javier so happy. Of course, like him, your daughter was also in heaven. You weren't even surprised when Mirabel grabbed Javier's hand and dragged him into the house to show him her bunny. You weren't surprised that she was sitting on his lap and enthusiastically telling him how to take care of Thumper. Although the truth was, you were the one taking care of that damn pet.

What really surprised you was Javier's behavior.

You never thought he would be so good with children. He was patient, gentle, and made Mirabel laugh. It was hard to believe that they had only known each other for a few hours. That's why you let him stay and read her a bedtime story. You promised yourself that as soon as Mirabel fell asleep you would tell him to disappear but Javier was standing in the doorway of the children's room and staring at the sleeping child.

"Javier, can we talk?" you whispered.

"Please give me five more minutes. I want to remember, what she looks like," he replied quietly and the despair in his voice hitting you.

"You talk as if you'll never see her again."

He finally looked at you and sighed heavily.

"And did I will see? You have power over me, Y/N. If you tell me to leave, I will. I have changed."

And you changed your mind. You couldn't just tell him to leave. You really saw that he was different. You grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the living room. You sat on the couch together.

"Do you really like that you have a daughter?"

He nodded his head and smiled slightly.

"Yes. It's just... I lost so much... Her first smile, first word, first step... First day of kindergarten."

"You are mad at me?"

"No. I'm angry but at myself." You looked at him surprised. "I know I was an asshole, Y/N. I used you and treated you like property. I never really asked what you wanted. I took everything because you gave in to me. If I had followed you at the airport then. If I had apologized for cheating... Maybe everything would look different."

"I don't think so. I think you needed time to mature."

Javier grabbed your hand.

"I want to apologize to you so much. Can I stay? If you don't want to..."

You didn't let him finish. You just jumped on him and wrapped your arms around his neck. You felt him hug you tightly and you sighed. All these years you wanted to hear that he was sorry.

"I missed you so much. You were such an asshole." You felt tears roll down your cheek. "And yet I missed you."

"I'm so sorry, cariño." You pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. You had to be sure he was sincere. "You know, I have never called anyone that. I've had other women, but I couldn't say this word without imagining your face."

Javier gently wiped away your tears.

"I love you Y/N." Your heart beat harder. "I really love you. I didn't realize it until you left me."

"Well, I knew I loved you. I loved you even when I left you and... I wanted to stop, but no man could compare to you. They were kind and faithful, but none of them made me feel the way I felt around you. But you have to understand something. If you want to stay, you can never be an asshole again. No more whores, no more possessiveness, no more selfishness."

"I'm done with all this a long time ago, I swear."

You nodded your head.

"Good, because if you hurt me, I'll cut you out of my life forever. But if you hurt our daughter, I'll kill you. I'm not kidding."

"I know you're serious. Even though I only met her a few hours ago, I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt her."

You laughed and suddenly you just wanted to kiss him. And you did it. You climbed onto his lap and connected your lips in a passionate kiss. You felt his hands begin to roam your body, but he did it differently. He was less pushy than before. He was cautious, like he still wasn't sure how much you would let him?

His hands gently squeezed your thighs.

"God, I missed you so much. Your body and everything you gave me. I screwed it all up."

"You have a chance to fix it"

You got up and walked towards the bedroom, but Javier didn't move. You narrowed your eyes.

"Do you need a special invitation?"

"Are you sure?"

"Javi , I'm not a little girl. I know what I want. Come on."

He finally came over to you and cuddled up to your back.

"And Mirabel? Won't she wake up?"

"Our daughter has a very heavy sleep."

He kissed your neck and whispered:

"I like it when you say it, "our daughter""

When you found yourself in bed you were delighted with Javier's gentleness. Maybe you missed it a bit his old heat, but you knew there was still time for that. When his head was between your legs, you felt the old shiver. He didn't disappoint you. Within minutes he had you writhing and moaning. As you slowly came out of your orgasm, he kissed your stomach and ran his hands over your hips. When he finally kissed you lips, you could feel your juices on his tongue. He rested his forehead against yours and asked:

"You want more?"

"Are you asking if I want to feel you inside me? Who are you and what have you done with Javier? Yes, I do."

He laughed and reached for his pants, pulled out his wallet, then found a condom. You raised your eyebrows.

"I assume you don't want any more kids, just yet," he said.

"I may never want to have more."

He nodded and kissed your thigh.

"It's okay. I'll respect any decision you make."

You dug your nails into his arms as he sticked into you. You felt wonderful. You've had several men, after him, but none of them knew your body as well as Javier.

You quickly felt your second orgasm approaching.

"Javier, I..."

"Me too honey"

Later, when you hugged each other and catches breath, you felt really happy. Javier buried his nose in your hair and hugged you tightly.

"You won't smoke?" you asked.

"I quit it."

You kissed his chest. But you had to ask one more question.

"Will you be here in the morning?"

"Of course. I'll stay with you because I love you. I'll be here as long as you let me."

You snuggled closer to him and fell asleep.

You woke up in the morning refreshed and happy. Javier wasn't next to you, and when you looked at your watch, you became concerned. Normally, your daughter should be jumping over you, by now. You stand up quickly, and as you left the bedroom, you immediately smelled delicious smells coming from the kitchen. As you got closer, you heard your baby's laugh. You silently stood on the doorstep and your heart melted.

Javier was standing by the stove with Mirabel settled on his hip. The little girl laughed and poured pancake batter into the pan, and he praised her. Although even from a distance you were able to see that pancakes have various shapes and none of them are round.

"Chef Mirabel, should I turn the pancake?"

Your daughter tilted her head slightly. She was clearly a chef and took her position very seriously.

"Hmm... Yes!"

You couldn't help it anymore and laughed. This, of course, drew their attention to you. Javier had to be very dexterous not to drop Mirabel when she suddenly turned to you.

"Mommy, we're making pancakes!"

"Yes, I see darling."

You moved closer and kissed her cheek. You wanted to take her in your arms, but she wasn't going to let go of Javier. "As if she knew", you thought. Javier gave you a quick kiss on the lips and focused on not burning the pancake. You pulled back and watched them finish making breakfast. When the last pancake was taken out of the pan, your daughter looked at you and asked:

" Can Jav stay with us? Will he be my uncle?"

You bit your lip. Two pairs of brown puppy eyes stared at you with hopefully. You couldn't break their hearts. You made a decision.

"Actually, Javier is your papi and he will staying with us."

Your daughter's eyes widened and then she began bouncing happily in Javier's arms.

" Papi! Papi!" she screamed and covered his face with her little hands. "You don't have to catch bad people anymore?"

"No," he choked out and hugged her tightly.

Javier looked so happy, like you just gave him a star from sky. He looked at you gratefully and whispered:

"Thank you."

You knew everything would be fine. The love in his eyes made you sure of it.

And maybe even one day, you'll let him say "mine" again. If he says it again as a declaration of love and a promise to never hurt you again.

When I was young, before we begun I never thought we all had someone

I took your breath but you took the rest

I promised you always a place on my chest

Sometimes the love, the love of your life Can make you feel weak, too tired to fight But I'm trying my best to look in your eyes 'Cause tears never age and years never die, die

But sometimes the love that you feel is just making it worse When I'm disappointing you, we both end up hurt

So I left a note on our bathroom mirror If you ever forget that you love me

*Isak Danielson - If You Ever Forget That You Love Me

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

#javier pena #narcos #javier pena x reader #javier pena fanfiction #chubby!reader #javier pena x you #dad and daughter #dad javier #kid fic #pedro pascal #happy ending

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joels-golf-club · 10 months

Note

Hiii!!! I have a request

Can you write something with heavy angst at the beginning like maybe a fight? And at the end super super fluffy!!! Any Pedro characters!! (Preferably whiskey or pena)

Complicated

A/n: Thanks for the request anon! I decided heavy angst meant HEAVY angst so here you go. It isn't exactly what you requested but this kinda popped into my head when I read your request and I really wanted to write it, I'm sorry. This is my first Javier Peña fic so pls have some grace <3!

Word Count: 3K

All my work is 18+, MDI!!!

Warnings: Swearing, typical Narcos violence, hurt/comfort, kidnapping, torture, real angsty, kinda fluff at the end jk I can't write fluff apparently, mentions of drinking and smoking, poorly translated Spanish (google translate 😃), no use of Y/n, attempted/talk of SA.

Your relationship with Javier Peña was complicated to say the least. You weren't officially together but there were two toothbrushes in his bathroom, there was a drawer full of your clothes in his dresser, and your coat was hanging by his front door.

He made breakfast for you most mornings and you'd kiss him goodbye when he left for work, but you weren't dating. You loved him but you've never said it to each other.

That was the worst part. You practically lived at his apartment and you feared for his life every single fucking day he went to work, but God forbid he put a damn label on whatever you were. So that's how the argument started.

"You don't need to risk your life every fucking day Javi! The world won't end if you just relax for one goddamn second!" Every single day Javi would come home black and blue. Today he came home with a fractured nose and bruises littering his body from a run in with one of Escobar sicarios.

"Why the fuck do you care? You're not my wife! You're not even my girlfriend! You're nothing to me!" The moment those words left his mouth he immediately backtracked. "Querida, I'm so sorry, I didn't me-"

But it was too late you were already walking to the door to grab your keys and pull on your shoes. "No, Javier. You're right. We aren't dating no reason I should give a damn about you. See you around." The door slammed behind you as you walked away and down the apartment complex to your car parked out front.

Your solution to the hurt radiating throughout you was to head to the nearest bar and get shit faced. Javier would've had your ass for going out and getting drunk alone in the crime capital of the world but who the hell was he to tell you what to do. Especially after what he said when you tried to show concern for him.

So here you were sitting alone at the bar, well past midnight, and probably three too many drinks deep. Getting home was the issue at hand now. Home. That should've been Javier's apartment filled with both of your belongings. The two of you should've been intertwined in bed right about now, connected in the most intimate way.

But instead you were drunk, alone, and extremely vulnerable. All because Javier fucking Peña couldn't find it in himself to commit to one person after over a year of almost dating.

As you made a move to walk out the bar and back towards the car you almost immediately stumbled just standing up, no way in hell were you driving across town to your apartment.

Walking wasn't an option either. There were already three men outside the bar looking at you in a way that was much more than just friendly.

There was only one person you could call no matter how much you wanted to avoid it.

He picked up on the third ring. "Hermosa? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean anything I said you know that right?" He immediately started spewing apologies the moment he answered the phone.

"Javier, I don't really care right now? I'm drunk, really drunk and there's these guys that aren't too far away from me and I can't drive."

"Where are you, Carino?" You gave him the address and you could hear him grab his keys and slam the door. "Stay where you are and stay on the phone ok? Do not hang up."

You nodded before remembering he couldn't see you. "Ok. " You kept an eye on the three men and couldn't help but notice they were closer than before, they had now crossed the road over to your side of the street. "Javi?"

"What is it? I'm 30 minutes away."

"Javi they're getting closer." You gasped when a flash of metal lit up in the dim streetlight. "Javi they have guns. What do I do? They have fucking guns Javi." You were panicking now and the men were only getting closer. Javier wouldn't be able to do shit in half an hour if the men decided to use their weapons.

"Lock your doors. Do not open the doors. Can you drive at all?"

You're gaze darted around and sent your head spinning. "No. Javi I can't drive! I'm so fucking stupid why would I get drunk right now? Javi what if they try to d-"

The sound of your voice over the phone was cut off by a scream and loud gunshots ringing through the line.

Javi gripped the wheel and pressed the pedal down to the floor while shouting your name. "Hey! What happened? Answer me please!" He called your name again before the line went dead. "Joder que hago? ¿Qué debo hacer? Fuck, what do I do? What do I do?"

With sweating palms and a racing pulse he called Murphy for backup.

After the men shattered your windows with bullets, they roughly yanked you out of your car, uncaring of any cuts or scrapes you got from all the broken glass, and shoved you through the doorway of the house across the street they had sat in front of earlier.

The entirety of the short walk there was spent with you fighting tooth and nail to get out of their grasp while the men felt you up through the tight dress you wore. Their dirty hands grabbed and pulled at every available inch of skin they could reach while you tried to kick and bite at their skin.

"Deja de pelear o te paso una bala por el cerebro! Stop fighting or I put a bullet through your brain!" The press of cold metal against your temple had you freezing where you stood before you were roughly shoved into a chair with the gun still pointed at your skull, keeping you still.

You tried to remember what Javi had told you to do if you were ever in one of these situations. "Do whatever they say, Hermosa. If they ask you what you know, you do not tell them anything. They will kill you the moment they don't need you anymore. Wait for the right moment if you can to fight." Right. Do what they say. Don't answer questions. You could do that.

The man with the gun came closer to you and caressed your face with the back of his hand causing you to jerk away as far as you could. The man's gaze narrowed and he backhanded you across the side of your face, sending you to the ground with your ears ringing. "Don't be a bitch. I'll have to teach you a lesson, then I'll let them have a turn with you, Hermosa." The pet name sent a fresh wave of sobs through your body at the memory of Javi calling you that only hours earlier and the man straddled your thrashing form then pulled out a knife from his jean pocket and cut away at what little remained of your torn dress and undergarments, leaving you entirely exposed to the three men while you fought beneath him.

"Stop! No, don't! Please stop!" You begged as tears flowed down your cheeks and you kicked uselessly a the man pinning you down.

"I told you to stop moving!" The man swung his fist down across your jaw, sending black dots flooding across your vision and make your ears ring once again. "Now hold still or this is gonna be so much worse for you." The man released his grip on your arms to reach for his belt, only for another man to send his boot into your ribs causing you to curl away and let out a wheezing cough.

Just as the man got his button and zipper undone and leaned over you once again you let out a scream and threw your throbbing head forward into the man's nose making a river a blood flow down his face. "You fucking bitch!" He sent his boot into your side again, making your curl up into a ball and gestured to his two men. "Tie her to the chair. Make sure she stays conscious, I want her to know what happened.

The man's words sent your eyes flying open and you immediately kicked and screamed at the hands that grabbed at your bruising arms. "No! Stop! Please, please I'm sorry! I'll do whatever you say, please!" Your screams and begging only brought a sadistic smile to the first man's face when we held up the knife he had earlier and brought the tip to your bare ribs.

He trailed the blade with just enough pressure to draw blood down to your exposed stomach and pressed the tip deeper into your skin and dragged the blade down, forcing a scream from your throat. He did this a few more times before he pulled the bloody knife away from your stomach and up to your cheeks to cut a deep line across both. He leaned forward to whisper in your ear while his hands roamed your bare body, "You look much prettier with that. Look at your pretty little stomach, Hermosa." He forced you to look down at where he had cut into your skin and your sobbed at the markings left there, AJS; the man had carved his fucking initials into your stomach.

Just as the man grabbed at your body again deafening gunshots rang out and the man's body slumped forward against your own while blood from his head and chest spilled across your skin. The two other men barely had enough time to raise their own weapons before more gunshots sounded and they slumped to the floor as well.

You looked down at the body in your bare lap and your tormentor's blank eyes stared back at you. You let out a scream and yanked at your bindings in an attempt to get away from the body, but you only managed to thrash enough to knock your chair backwards and fall to the side when you heard thundering footsteps rush into the room. You forced your eyes as closed as tight as they would go in an effort to ignore what you new was sitting right in front of you. Your body wouldn't stop shaking.

Suddenly hands were on your bare skin and you let out another piercing scream, unable to process the much more familiar grasp that pulled you upright and cut away the ropes on your wrists and ankles. "Shh, Hermosa, it's me. It's Javi." You were still shaking and sobbing when he pulled his jacket off to cover your exposed body and you still wouldn't open your eyes open from their sealed position. "Look at me, Hermosa, look at me."

You finally pealed your eyes open at his soft voice and saw the man kneeling in front of you. "Javi?"

He nodded and made sure your gaze stayed on him when he lifted you up out of the chair. "Yeah it's me, hermosa. You're okay now. you're safe."

At the sound of that name you flinched and new tears sprung to your eyes. "Please don't call me that anymore. H-he called me that."

Javi's jaw clenched and anger flared in his brown eyes but he nodded and continued walking you out of the house to where an ambulance sat outside the building. He set you down on the back of the open vehicle so the medics nearby could check you over but you gripped his hand as hard as you could the moment he let go of you.

"Please don't leave me alone, I can't be alone right now." Your hand shakes where it grips his and you can't help but stare at the cuts and bruises littering the skin there. It all seemed much more real now that you could see the marks on your skin. Your skin. The man had carved his fucking initials into your skin. You looked down and moved Javi's jacket away from your stomach to stare down at where your hip began. Blood covered the wound but you knew what was there. You lifted your hand to try and reveal the marks in a moment of morbid curiosity but-

"Querida, don't." Javi's voice pulled you from your thoughts. "I'll stay with you however long you need, but you can't touch it. Try not to look at it if that helps, alright? Estarás bien, te lo prometo. You'll be okay, I promise." You just nodded and Javi held your hands while the medic checked you over and cleaned and bandaged your wounds.

The medic informed you that you shouldn't be left alone for a few days and that you'd have to change your bandages twice a day, but you were cleared to go without having to go to the hospital.

"You'll be ok staying with me right, querida? You can't be alone and I don't want you out of my sights." You nodded silently to answer his question which only made him furrow his brows and concern took over his face, but he said nothing and just guided you over to his jeep.

The two of you drove in silence for about ten minutes before you spoke for the first time in well over an hour. "Javi?"

"Sí?"

You swallowed hard and stared down at your still shaking hands. Why won't they stop shaking? "I'm sorry for all this. If I didn't try to be so controlling with you earlier and if I didn't go and get drunk like a fucking idiot you wouldn't had to have dealt with me and-"

"Darling. Stop it. Stop thinking for one second that any of this is your fault. You aren't controlling, you care and I didn't know how to act because of it and that is no excuse for any of the absolute shit I said, by the way. And you aren't an idiot, you are the smartest person I know and you just did what anyone would do after a long day. The only people to blame are the hijos de puta that did this to you. So please, darling, for both our sakes don't blame yourself." He had just pulled up to your apartment when he stopped speaking and he parked before turning to face you.

Tears streamed down your face and the tight feeling in your chest was back from earlier and your fucking hands wouldn't stop shaking. "He marked me, Javi..." You whispered in between sobs as your shoulders shook. You looked up just to see Javi's face fall apart.

"He did what?" His voice came out a broken whisper full of pain for you.

"He marked me! He took a knife and carved his goddamn initials into my skin! He made sure it would scar so that I can't ever forget! What kind of sick fucking psycho does that shit?" Your sobs came faster and Javi hopped out of the car and ran to your door, pulling you into his arms.

"Baby, I'm so fucking sorry. I know that doesn't do shit, but you didn't deserve a single second of what you went through. You know that right?" You nodded and let him pull you out of the car as he ushered you upstairs to his apartment.

Once the door was closed and locked behind you two, you steeled yourself and forced away your tears before turning to face Javi again. You would not waste anymore tears on the fucker who did this to you, he didn't even deserve a thought. You wanted to set things right between you and Javi and if what happened today is what that takes, so be it."Javi. I love you, and I'm sick of your shit."

Shock filled the man's face across from you and he shook his head. This was the first time saying those words to him and the circumstance seemed less than ideal. "Querida what are you saying?"

"I love you so goddamn much and I know you love me and you just won't say it. I will not stick around if it's going to be more of the same as what it has been. You will either take me on a date when I'm over all this bullshit and make what we are official, or I'm getting my stuff and leaving." You stared Javi dead in the eyes and narrowed your gaze when his face split into a grin and he let out a short bark of laughter.

"There you are, baby."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Javi just grinned wider and shook his head before he wrapped you in his arms and pressed a kiss to your temple. You melted into his grasp but confusion still filled you.

"You've had this... this look on your face after everything like you're not quite here but you are now. That's great, baby. And just so we're clear, I will take you on a date the second you are feeling up to it. Then I will take you back here and you can officially move in after I spend hours making up for everything stupid thing I have done or said to you." His voice had taken on a slight seductive whisper at the end that sent a small shiver through you and you grinned as you wrapped your bruised arms around him.

"That sounds perfect, Javi. Now let go of me because I really need a fucking shower or I'm never going on that date with you." The reminder of the blood and grime still on you from the events of the night made you shudder and the mood changed instantly but Javi just nodded and squeezed your hand in reassurance as he walked with you towards the bathroom. He would be with you through everything and he would help you get through this.

#x reader #javi #javier pena x you #javier x you #javier pena #javier pena x reader #javi pena #javier pena narcos #narcos fanfiction #narcos fic #javier pena angst #javier pena fluff #pedro pascal #narcos #pedro pascal x reader #pedrito #javi pena x reader #javier peña #javi pena x you

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yeowangies · 6 months

Text

Blood Stains

CHAPTER XI: In spite of big fears

❧

PAIRING: Raditz/F!Reader RATING: Teen and up CONTENTS: Canon Divergence AU, Slow burn, Smut, Enemies to Lovers. WARNINGS: Canon typical violence, Blood. WORDCOUNT: 5581

Summary:

“I love Raditz. I know he’s done things, terrible things, and we had our arguments about it, you know? But I’ve seen so many sides of him to know there’s more to him than just violence. I don’t expect him to change, but I’ve made peace with his history. It made him who he is, and I love him. I love him on purpose.”

Notes:

After a million years (it's only been like four months) I finally finished this chapter!

It took me so long to be satisfied with it, I wrote, erased, rewrote, moved around, erased and rewrote again so many times.

This is heavy on dialogue, obviously since a lot of issues have to be resolved!

Next chapter is gonna be an epilogue! I already have in mind what I want to write for it, but if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, I'm all ears!

You can check the tag #*bs if you wanna see the previous chapters.

Getting to Kame House never seemed like such a long trip until that very moment. It was a long way there, but whether you like it or not, you have a lot to think about.

Raditz has kissed you repeatedly for no reason. Or well, for reasons that might have been obvious, but you don’t want to conclude anything, especially when you don’t know what he’s planning to do once the Saiyans get here.

Bulma greets you as soon as you get to Kame House while you save your hover car inside a capsule.

“Hey!” You smile at her, and she quickly grabs your arm and tugs you the farthest away from the house. “What are you doing?”

“Listen, I didn’t wanna say anything because I was waiting for you to tell me,” Bulma whispers, just in case someone might listen. “But you never did. I saw the security cameras the day Raditz destroyed my lab.”

“Okay…?”

“Do you really don’t know what I’m talking about?”

You frown, confused. The day Raditz destroyed her lab, what else happened that day?

You remember instantly, and immediately Bulma notices the change in your expression.

“You kissed him! And didn’t tell me!” She practically yells, and you wince when she raises her voice. “Has he been with you all this time?”

“Not exactly.”

“Well? Aren’t you gonna tell me?”

“We weren’t… I thought it was better to keep it a secret. I didn’t think you’d see that…” Very stupid thinking, or lack of thinking on your part, you realize. Of course she was going to check the security cameras.

“So? I’m sure it wasn’t just that one time. No wonder you didn’t visit me as often.”

You smiled despite yourself. You weren’t ready for that kind of conversation, but what was the point of still keeping it a secret then? Of course you don’t want to tell everyone just yet. But Bulma already knew.

“We… spent some time together after that, but it was on and off.”

“‘Spent some time’? Did you sleep with him?”

“Yeah…”

“You don’t sound too happy about it…”

You run a hand down your face, squeezing your eyes shut for a moment before speaking again.

“Raditz stayed at my apartment for a few days, but… he left for God knows where, and came back every once in a while. Technically, we spent less than a month together, I guess.”

“Okay…” Bulma is smart, obviously, and you know she’s seeing right through you at the moment. “You don’t know what he’s gonna do today, do you?”

“No, we avoided the topic, most of the time. It was kind of what we agreed on.”

“How do you feel, then?”

“I honestly have no idea. I didn’t think I would feel like this… Raditz is either going to leave this planet… or he’s going to die, and both options break my heart.” Your voice wavers at the end, and you lower your gaze, trying to hold in your tears.

“I’m sorry, I thought…” Bulma runs a hand up and down your back.

“I know…”

“We don’t know what’s gonna happen, so calm down, ok? Goku is gonna get here soon.” Bulma reassures you, patting your head.

You nod, at a loss of words.

Verbalizing what you were afraid of doesn’t make you feel better at all, and now you're more on the verge of tears than before. You know that Raditz likes being with you, even when he hasn’t said it, but you doubt that would change anything. His over 30 years of existence can’t be compared to whatever relationship he’s been having with you for less than a year.

It’s ironic how certain you feel about that conclusion when you know those days you spent with Raditz had inevitably changed your life. You can feel it in your bones, no matter the outcome of this day, you’ll be spending the rest of your life getting over him.

Everything is a blur the whole time you’re at Kame House, and you wonder if it would be better or worse if you could actually see what the hell is happening. You even wonder if you could actually sleep this day off, and wake up when it’s all over.

Hours later, you drag your feet to hop on the aircraft to get where the battle has taken place as anxiety eats your insides, and you try to tone out everyone’s voice (and you really understand Chichi’s desperation to get there as quickly as possible, but she was being really loud and that just puts you more on edge). Getting off the aircraft is easier after Chichi practically throws herself out there to look for Gohan once they land. You follow suit, landing your eyes on Goku, completely beat up and bleeding, but conscious. A little relieved, you look at Krillin briefly, noticing that he’s in a slightly better shape, before glancing around, trying to find Raditz. If he’s there at all.

Krillin notices your trepidation, and calls your name, making you look at him.

“That other Saiyan, Raditz, he helped us…” He smiles at you, before pointing towards his side. “He’s over there, alive but barely…”

Before you even know it, you run towards the place Krillin pointed to, and immediately spot him.

“Raditz!”

He’s looking at you through hooded lids, perplexed, when you kneel beside him. Your heart beats inhumanely fast as you eye him up and down, horrified to see him completely covered in blood and bruises, but absolutely glad he’s alive.

“You told me you wouldn’t come here…” Raditz grumbles with a hoarse voice as you lean over him.

“I guess I lied.”

Blood is flowing from many different places all over his body that you can’t even see where the wounds are, he might as well be bleeding from every pore. Sliding one hand down his cheek and into his scalp, your vision gets blurry when you feel hot thick liquid running through your fingers.

How many nights did you spend with your hands up in his hair? Seeing them now soaked in his blood as you thread them through his hair only fills you with panic.

“Why are you crying?” Raditz asks, looking at you curiously. You didn’t even notice that you were until he said it, feeling your face completely drenched.

“Why am I crying?” You hiccup, smiling sourly at the ironic question. “Have you seen yourself?”

“I’ve gotten out of worse situations…” He smirks, coughing up blood before going on. “This is nothing.”

“Have you?”

You try to comfort him with your touch, keeping your hands in his hair and softly caressing his scalp, no matter that you’re getting covered in his blood in the process. Your eyes scan over his body once more, though you’re not sure why, before landing your gaze back on his. You stare at him with so many emotions bubbling up in your chest at once, and you know he must be seeing them all, even through all your tears.

“You’ve been keeping secrets from me.” Raditz utters, his gaze fixed on yours. You snort, amused that he can see right through you.

“And you? What did you do? Why did you…?”

You trail off when a shaky hand slides up your cheek, wiping away a few tears with his thumb.

It’s a simple gesture that fills your entire chest with a certain kind of warmness that you would have never expected, not in that moment. Especially because of Raditz.

Maybe you both have been too naive.

Leaning down with your hands cupping his face, you kiss him sweetly, trying to convey how relieved and happy you are that he’s alive. Raditz returns it, skimming his hand into your hair to keep you close.

“I’m getting blood all over you…” He murmurs against your lips.

“I don’t care.”

“I’ll stain you…” His hand in your hair drops.

“Then you’ll stain me.”

You kiss him briefly again before pulling away, just as you hear Bulma crying some feet away. You turn in her direction, confused.

Why is she crying? You know some of the guys have passed, but you can still use the Dragon Balls. If Yamcha has died, they can still bring him back.

But only if Piccolo is still alive…

“Did all our friends… Did they die?” You ask Raditz quietly, when you realize what the situation might be.

He only looks at you and nods meekly, and you couldn’t help your tears as they flow out of your eyes once more.

“I’m sorry.” Raditz mutters softly, to your surprise.

“You’re sorry?” You ask, flabbergasted. He snorts with a smirk, entertained by your reaction. You sigh, showing him a small smile. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Raditz stares at you with soft eyes for a few seconds before he closes them, and you panic once he passes out.

There’s too much light in the room when Raditz wakes up, to the point where he thinks that place must be heaven, because everything in the room is just white and light blue, and the bed he’s on is soft and warm.

That is until he feels a sharp pain all over his body.

Groaning, Raditz tries to move all his limbs and fingers, but only ends up making the pain much worse. He notices his entire body is bandaged, and his right arm is wrapped in a cast. The room he’s in reminds him a lot more of the room he used to stay when he got injured after his fight with Goku and Piccolo, but he knows it’s not the same place.

He attempts several times to actually get up to find out where the hell is that place until you walk into the room.

“You’re finally awake!” You smile, before scowling at him. “Are you trying to get up?”

Raditz tries to ignore the way his heart beats enthusiastically in his chest when he sees you. It’s going to take a while to get used to that, for better or for worse.

“I want to know where the fuck I am.” He retorts with no real contempt.

“Again with that attitude.” You sigh, rolling your eyes. “If I recall, last time I had to trick you into saying ‘please’.”

“You’re a manipulative woman.” Raditz smirks when you walk over, sitting on his bed.

“Excuse me?”

Your arched eyebrow and your eyes wide open amuse him to no end, making you roll your eyes when he chuckles.

“Are you going to tell me where I am?”

“In a hospital, dufus, I’m not trying to trick you this time.”

“A hospital?” Raditz asks, confused.

“It’s where sick people get treated.”

“I know what a hospital is. Why didn’t you bring me here the first time?”

“You were a menace to society then.”

“And you think I’m not anymore?” It’s his turn to quirk an eyebrow.

You show him a knowing smile, before looking down at him.

Raditz knows he’s not as dangerous as you thought he was back then. Though you were never even afraid of him to begin with. He’s fine with that.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like shit.” Raditz winces when he tries to move again. His body hurts from the beating he took from Vegeta, but he’s also somehow exhausted from laying down.

“I figured.” You smile, putting your hand on his shoulder. “Try not to move too much.”

“I can’t even if I want to, can I?”

“Well you blasted a hole in the wall last time you tried to leave while you were injured, remember?”

Raditz laughed quietly, before groaning in pain. Fuck, he’s in terrible shape.

“You have a few ribs broken.” You explain, looking out the window by the bed. “And you lost a lot of blood. The doctors were a bit shocked when they tried to do a transfusion and I told them you might not have a blood type like we do. They probably passed out when they found out I was telling the truth.”

He only understood what you were saying partially. Blood type? Humans don’t have the same kind of blood? He lets it go, not really caring enough to ask you about it.

“What happened to Kakarot?” Raditz asks, keeping his eyes on you when you turn to face him.

“He’s ok. He has as many broken bones as you do, but he’s been conscious for days now. He didn’t lose as much blood as you did, so he’s slightly better. It’s gonna take like four months for you to heal, so take it easy, okay?”

“Four months?!”

Raditz groans exasperatedly and throws his head against the pillow, grunting in pain when he feels a sharp pain up his spine. Fuck this place. He misses the technology in Frieza’s army.

“I told you not to move too much.” You try to contain your smile.

He glares at you. It’s not like he’s going to leave. He doesn’t even want to, but taking so long to heal is going to be a pain in the ass.

“Don’t worry, you probably won’t take so long to get better.” You grin reassuringly. “They’re not ready yet, but we have some magic beans here that will heal you in no time.”

“Magic beans?”

“Yeah, you get instantly better when you eat them.”

Raditz’ eyebrow twitches instantly.

“And why didn’t you get me one of those when I was on the verge of dying a year ago?”

“You were the enemy, I couldn’t! I didn’t know what you were gonna do!”

“What other things have you been keeping from me?” He looks at you with curiosity.

He doesn’t resent you for not telling him about things you thought were important; he does feel a little stupid for not realizing the amount of information you actually had, though it never would have occurred to him that something like ‘magic beans’ existed.

“Well, I don’t know… I wasn’t doing it on purpose.” When he raises one brow, you roll your eyes. “Okay, maybe I was hiding some things on purpose, but what about you, mister?”

“What about me?”

“You were obviously not telling me anything.”

“About what?”

“Anything, everything! Like, what did you even do when you weren’t at my place?”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Raditz smiles, amused. That time you got upset when he mentioned he slept with another woman came to mind, and while he obviously hasn’t slept with anyone else since then, he felt the need to reassure you. “I didn’t fucked anyone else.”

“That’s not what I meant!” You blushed slightly, shaking your head.

He tries to move his arms, or at least one arm, to pull you down and kiss you, but he only ends up grunting, feeling a pungent pain through his muscles. Your blush fades quickly and you snicker at the sight, earning a playful glare from him.

“I told you not to move.” You quip.

“It was just that one time that I had sex with someone else.” Raditz says without provocation.

“We already talked about this, you don’t have to explain-”

“You brought it up.”

“I didn’t!”

“I didn’t even sleep with her.”

“What?” You frown, not following.

“We just had sex.”

“…What do you mean?” You frown deeper as you raise your voice. “Do not give me details, or I swear to God.”

“It’s exactly like I said.” Raditz huffs, trying not to smile at your reaction. “We just had sex.”

“In the middle of nowhere?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened afterwards?”

“Nothing. I finished and left her there.”

Raditz frowns when he sees the expression on your face transforming into what can only be anger, but he doesn’t know why you’re mad this time.

“You left her there? Just like that? Raditz!” You yell, making him jolt instantly, pain pulsing through his muscles.

“What was I supposed to do?” He asks, confused.

“Not throw her away like a used ragdoll! This angers me more than you sleeping with her to begin with!”

“Wh-What?!” His body is in pain from tensing up after your outburst, but Raditz is just perplexed. What should he have done then?

“You’re not supposed to treat women like that!”

“What are you talking about?” Raditz asks loudly. “I’m not going to fuck anyone else, so why are you even telling me this?!”

Your expression softens considerably, and it takes him a few seconds to realize that reassuring you of the fact that he only is interested in you is what you need. When your cheeks flush faintly, he smirks triumphantly.

“Okay…” You smile softly, and Raditz isn’t prepared for the warmth he feels in his chest. At least he’s in the hospital if it ends up being a disease or something. “Was that something you were hiding too?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you said to let you know when our arrangement would be over… But now, it sounds like you don’t want it to end.”

“I wasn’t thinking that far ahead.”

“Oh…”

“No.” Raditz says as soon as he notices the sad gleam in your eyes. “I wasn’t thinking because… I was enjoying our time together. And I was sure I could stop seeing you at any moment. I was being an idiot.”

“Maybe we both were.” Your smile is on your face again, though he still sees a little sorrow in it. “I thought we could keep it simple, you know? We really should have talked in depth about this.”

“Because the last time we talked about ‘our feelings’ it ended so well.” He jests, rolling his eyes.

“Come on!” You nudge his side with your hand gently, making him grin. “All the more reason to talk, don’t you think? We have been keeping a lot of things from each other.”

“You more than anyone.” Raditz remarks with playful annoyance.

“Honestly, baby, who’s counting?” You return his playful smile, and he knows whatever might have happened between the two of you isn’t a threat to the relationship you had. Whatever that relationship is.

He’s been wanting to kiss you since you walked into the room, but he doesn’t have the ability to move any limbs at the moment and it never frustrated him so much to be immobilized. With a brief second of looking into each other’s eyes, you seemingly read his mind, though, and shifted on the bed to lean down and kiss him.

Does that warm feeling in his chest whenever he sees you come with telepathic powers?

You sweetly press your lips to his, softly moving them, and Raditz feels like it’s been ages since he had a taste of you. He wants more, so much more than just a simple peck on the lips, but there’s nothing he can do once you pull away, cupping his face in your hands and leaning your forehead over his.

“Raditz…”

He notices the shift in your tone as you speak.

Raditz still doesn’t fully grasp how many emotions humans even have (apparently Saiyans are capable of them, but he’s been exposed to anger, hatred and violence all his life that he doesn’t recognize them when he feels differently). You seem sad, maybe it was because your friends have died.

He recalled the moment when he was laying on the dirt after Vegeta took off, and you were looking down at him, eyes filled with tears. He didn’t know how, but he perfectly recognized the gleam in them then.

Affection. It was even dripping from your tears as you cried, like you couldn’t contain them. You are wearing a similar gleam just now, as you look at him carefully.

“I don’t know what I would have done…” You whisper, so quiet for only Raditz to hear. “If you had…”

You trail off, leaving the words hanging in the air. The emotion in your voice, he understands that too; fear, embarrassment and nervousness.

“Hopefully use those Dragon Balls.” Raditz replies wittily, making you snort.

“If Piccolo died, then…” Your voice is still somber, even with the soft look you’re giving him. “We can’t use the Dragon Balls…”

“Those things have too many rules to function.” He frowns, perplexed. “Was that another thing you forgot to mention about them?”

“Well actually, I did forget. I wasn’t thinking about that detail.”

“So you can’t bring back any of your friends.”

“No, but we have a plan.” You smile widely, pulling away from him as you sit back.

“A plan?”

Raditz listens to you carefully as you explain that Bulma, Krillin and Gohan are set to go to Namek in just a couple of days, to find the Dragon Balls that supposedly exist on that planet. He sweats slightly while you speak; the planet Namek is a peaceful place, without any significant threat. But he knows that Frieza sometimes liked to listen in on the conversation his soldiers have through the scooters. There’s a chance he might know about the Dragon Balls and Namek if he heard Vegeta talking about it.

“You’re not going to go, are you?” He asks first and foremost. He’s in no condition to go himself, but if you decide to go then he would have no other choice.

“Of course not, I wouldn’t be of any help.” You snort, amused.

Raditz lets out a sigh he didn’t know was holding in.

“Namek is not a dangerous planet, its inhabitants are peaceful and weak. There shouldn’t be any problem…”

“But?” You ask, noticing the uncomfortable look on his face.

“Saiyans are not the strongest race. I was lying about that.” Raditz states, looking into your eyes. “Tell your friends to be careful. Vegeta might show up looking for those things too.”

“I’ll tell them to be alert.” You nod, completely serious. He’s satisfied with your answer so he doesn’t talk about the matter anymore.

He has nothing to worry about if you’re not going on that trip, and he can’t wait to heal so he can actually grab you and press you closer. Apparently whatever emotion is coursing through his veins made him completely attached to you. It’s a literal pain not being able to pull you down for a kiss.

Your eyes are on him with a warm look on them, and the more you stare, the more he feels like something is bubbling up inside him.

“Sit on my face.” Raditz says out of the blue. He watches with amusement as your face goes from surprise to confusion to embarrassment in less than a second.

“What?”

“Sit on my face.” He repeats, smirk growing wider when he notices the faint blush on your cheeks. “I can’t do much in this situation, but I know damn well what I’m good at.”

Raditz licks his lips in anticipation, looking at you with a lecherous glimmer that only makes you blush harder. It’s still fun to tease you that way, but he’s truly desperate to taste you again after so long. After all, he was in a coma for days.

“I’m not doing that.” You glare playfully, crushing his dreams. “This is a hospital, and I don’t know if you noticed but you’re bedridden until further notice.”

“I can still move my tongue and that should be enough.”

When you laugh, it’s like music to his ears, and even then he couldn’t help but grin.

“Not this time, handsome. I’ll sit on your face all you want some other time.”

Raditz grunts, annoyed, but he’s rewarded with a kiss on his lips.

It’s the kiss he’s been wanting since you walked in there, or maybe even long before that. Sliding your tongues together, gliding your lips slowly and sensually, and he hates that he can’t even cup your face or wrap his arms around you. You sneak one hand into his hair, caressing his scalp, and a low purr rumbles from his chest.

He’s really fucked.

You break the kiss sooner than Raditz expects when the door suddenly opens.

“Who are you?” Raditz asks with contempt when a man dressed in white walks in.

“I’m your doctor.” The man answers with a stern tone, glaring at the both of you. “And this isn’t a hotel.”

“Sorry, doc, I was just happy he was awake.” You reply naturally.

“You’re his wife, right?”

“She’s my mate.” Raditz replies before you can even open your mouth.

He hasn’t thought it through when those words escaped his lips, but you’re looking at him with a wide smile so he doesn’t regret it at all.

The doctor looks at the both of you with confusion so you speak, still smiling and looking at Raditz with affection in your eyes.

“I’m his girlfriend.”

You recall everything that happened in the past year as you walk to the room Goku was staying at.

Raditz’s heel-face turn was surprising; you didn’t expect him to be influenced by anything, especially you. If anything, you were ready for the most gruesome outcome after Goku arrived. No one told you exactly what happened during the battle, but you don’t really need to know more; Krillin had said that Raditz helped and that was more than enough for you.

As you approach the room, you see Chichi coming out alone.

Maybe it was time to apologize to her. Bulma wasn’t wrong months ago when she said you also didn’t try to reach out after Goku died and Gohan was taken, and while you weren’t the only one responsible, you were still involved.

“Chichi.” You call for her and the moment she looks at you, her expression hardens. “Chichi, I’m sorry.”

“For what, exactly?” She only gives you a moment to open your mouth but doesn’t let you speak. “For not telling me that my husband had died? For saving the monster that killed him? For letting my son be kidnapped?”

“Um, all that, but if you would hear me out-”

“I don’t need to, I already know everything. And this is not the place to talk about this.” Chichi coldly cut you off before you could add anything else, walking right past you. “Goodnight.”

Your shoulders droop as you watch her leave, sighing loudly. Maybe eventually, she’ll listen.

Knocking on Goku’s door before stepping in, you smile at the sight of him, still amused that he looks like a mummy, trapped in a sarcophagus. He returns the smile, calling your name as you take the seat next to him.

“You still look so funny.” You comment, giggling like a little girl.

“It’s not as fun as it looks like.” Goku replies, pouting. He seems like a child at that moment as well, and it warms your heart.

It would be the first time you actually talk to him, one on one, since he died. And even before that, it was years ago. You haven’t realized how much you missed him until now.

“I’m still happy you’re okay.” You smile gently. Goku blinks before returning the gesture.

“I heard you’re the reason Raditz helped us during the fight.”

“You heard?”

“Okay, I kinda saw it.” Goku admits with a knowing grin.

“That sounds even weirder.” You laugh, but he only shrugs, as if it was the most obvious thing.

“When Vegeta threatened to destroy this planet, the look on Raditz’s face kinda spoke for itself.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m no mind reader, but he looked scared. And he jumped back on the battle and took our side and helped us in the blink of an eye.” He waits for your reaction, but your blank expression prompts him to go on. “I figured you might have something to do with his change of heart?”

“Why do you think that?”

“I saw you kissing. I wasn’t unconscious, you know?”

“Oh…” You blush slightly, but the smile on your face only gets wider, just like Goku’s grin does.

“So, you two are together, huh?”

“We are. Sometimes this still feels surreal.”

“What do you mean?” Goku asks, confused.

“That Raditz chose to stay. I thought he might end up leaving this planet, or that he’d die. I’m so happy that wasn’t the case.”

Goku looks at you with soft eyes. He might not be the brightest of the bunch, or at least that’s what everyone thinks about him, but he understands people’s feelings more than anyone else, and at that moment, he’s looking at you like he knows all the fear and trepidation you had been going through the past twelve months.

“But he stayed.” He says, reassuringly.

“Yeah, and I’m so grateful.”

“Do you love him?” Goku asks, to your own surprise. That softness is still in his eyes, and you can’t help the warmth that spreads through your chest when you answer his question.

“I do. I love Raditz. I know he’s done things, terrible things, and we had our arguments about it, you know? But I’ve seen so many sides of him to know there’s more to him than just violence. I don’t expect him to change, but I’ve made peace with his history. It made him who he is, and I love him. I love him on purpose.”

Your face is hot, not because you’re embarrassed, but you assume the way your heart is currently beating has something to do with it. Confessing out loud that, in spite of deep fears, you were unequivocally in love with Raditz made your blood run faster. Goku is grinning, completely pleased with your answer, and amused that you’re blushing.

“I guess he’s staying on Earth, then.”

“I suppose so.”

“Chichi aint gonna be happy about it.” Goku chuckles, but you only smile for a second.

“About that, I’m sorry I didn’t talk to her…” You say, this time truly ashamed.

“Whaddaya mean?”

“About what happened when you died…”

You are not sure how much Goku knows about the situation, but you know you have to apologize for almost all of it. Not talking to Chichi in time, letting his son be kidnapped (even when there wasn’t much any of you could do). You had been too wrapped in your own bubble to think about it but in retrospect, you feel terrible.

“Chichi only found out about your death and Gohan’s kidnapping over 24 hours after it happened. I’m sorry.”

Goku blinks, and you wonder if he even knows what you’re talking about. His subsequent smile is your answer.

“You’re the first one who apologized about it.”

“Really?” You ask, taken aback.

“Krillin kinda did but not really. He only said sorry because he was scared of Chichi.”

You facepalm, in disbelief his best friend would be so vague and kind of a dick when talking about Goku’s wife.

“I assume Bulma did not even mention it?” You ask, ready to be annoyed.

“She didn’t, she sounded more mad about Chichi than anything else? I didn’t get it.”

You roll your eyes. Bulma is resentful for a woman who has everything and anything she wants at the reach of her hand.

“She was mad that I didn't invite her to the wedding.” Goku adds.

“I know.” You sigh, exasperated.

“Why? Back then, I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

“You think it is now?”

“Well…” Goku fixed his eyes on the ceiling, thinking for a second before answering. “I didn’t really know what the big deal about marriage was. I never even went to a wedding! When Chichi asked me if I wanted to invite you guys, I said no because we only saw each other for training and adventures and stuff.”

That reasoning sounds so much like him that you didn’t have it in you to be even a little mad. Of course, you were never too upset about it as Bulma was.

“Bulma is still a little childish.” You comment, but Goku only shrugs.

“I didn’t think she’d be mad about it. I guess I could have invited you all for the wedding, since it was a big deal after all. I wouldn’t have gotten to know Chichi, and Gohan wouldn’t even exist.”

So Goku loves Chichi.

It should have been obvious. The way he talked about her, as Goku-like as that was, and the way you noticed how he looked at her. They only married because of a promise they made as kids, you wouldn’t have expected them to actually get to know each other and fall in love. You should’ve known.

“Goku, I can’t say I wasn’t childish back then,” You start, and he turns to look at you with quizzical eyes. “But it’s been a while, and honestly it’s cute you found someone you decided to spend the rest of your life with, even if it was just a promise. I know you love her after all these years.”

“I do.” Goku grins. “She’s great! She’s patient with me about a lot of things I don’t get, and she’s real sweet. She’s cute when she gets mad, too.”

You chuckle. Is it a Saiyan thing to like women with a little attitude?

“Hopefully she’ll warm up to me. We’re family after all, now.”

“We are?” Goku questions, brows furrowed.

“Well yeah. I’m dating your brother, we’re in laws now.”

“Huh.” He thinks about it for a second before smiling. “That sounds fun. Maybe Raditz won’t be so bad, either.”

“Give him a chance. You did say he helped save the Earth and all.”

“It’d be cool to spar with him! I know I can beat him!”

You smile, excited to see how this new period of your life will be like.

#dbz fics #dbz imagine #dbz fanfiction #raditz x reader #raditz x you #dbz #raditz #my writing #*bs

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midnightsconspiracy · 1 year

Text

Choose Your Lover

CHAPTER 4.1 - HIS PLACE

Choose Your Lover - @midnightsconspiracy

Summary: Joining the intelligence unit is nerve-wracking, but what happens when you have a crush on multiple members and they seem to also make advances towards you

Warnings: None

Word Count: 800

Requested: No

A/N: THIS IS A CHOOSE YOUR OWN DESTINY STORY FOR EITHER HANK OR JAY DEPENDING ON WHAT YOU PICK. YOU’LL BE GIVEN TWO OPTIONS AT THE END OF EACH CHAPTER, SO CHOOSE WISELY.

Masterlist

"hmm, yours?" "sounds perfect," he replied standing up, grabbing your hands to pull you in close. Pecking your lips, he moved away to grab his belongings quickly, before wrapping you up in his arms and guiding you out of the district.

You were glad you'd chosen his place that night, knowing all too well how irritated your roommate would have been had you picked your place. Regardless, you knew your night couldn't get any better, realising that this man had completely rocked your world, and turned your life upside down within a single day. Not only had you started in a new unit, but you'd also met him, spending the night of your life at his place. Everything had seemingly just fallen into place.

Waking up, you groggily wiped the sleep out of your eyes, opening them and allowing yourself to observe your surroundings. Propping up on one arm, your confusion subsided as the memories of the night before came flooding back to you, a small smile filling your face at the thought. Feeling an arm on your waist, you turned around in his hold, looking down to see the sleeping man below you. Lowering yourself back down face to face with him, you reached your hand out to slowly trace over his features. Grabbing your hand quickly, he lazily blinked his eyes open, a smirk playing on his face. "Morning Sweetheart," he rasped, pulling your hand in and kissing your palm. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes," he followed up, proceeding to pull your hand further, your body rolling on top of his.

Leaning down, you kissed him sweetly, smiling against his lips as you realised the situation you were in. First day of a new job and you'd already managed to sleep with your boss. God if your mother could see you now, she'd be lecturing you on how wrong this was. But how could something so wrong feel so damn right? Trying your best to ignore the persistent thoughts, you focused back on the man in front of you, watching as he reached up to push your messy hair aside. "Could say the same about you, not in my wildest dreams did I expect to be in bed with the infamous Hank Voight one day after joining his unit," you groaned at the thought, leaning down into the crook of his neck hiding over the ridiculous notion.

You were not oblivious to his reputation, most of the cops in Chicago knew about the hard-headed Sargent. And although you'd come into the unit with a neutral opinion, it was hard to ignore. He definitely went against some rules, and used methods beyond what was expected of the police, but sleeping with an employee? You didn't think that was on the table. "Hmm, so you've heard of my reputation?" he mused, raising an eyebrow, "what do you think? Does my reputation proceed me?" Although you hadn't seen much in your day of working at Intelligence, what you had come to realise was Hank Voight was not a dirty cop for monetary gain like many, instead did so to protect the ones he cared for. Olinsky was like a brother and Halstead a son, and so protecting them only came as naturally to him as any family would, watching out for their own. "You're not as scary as they make you out to be." "Huh, good to know they still think of me as that, the title can only get you so far," pulling you back down next to him, you again laid face to face, heads both buzzing with thoughts of what came next. For you, it was fears of favouritism, would people still give you respect if they knew what had happened? And what if things didn't turn out ok? Would you have to leave the unit to find another?

For Hank, it was much easier. He'd spent the better part of a decade waiting for someone new to come along. Someone who wouldn't replace Camille, but repair his heart and restore that feeling of love he'd once felt. Was it the best that she worked under him? No, but the universe works in mysterious ways, and Hank could only be grateful that his time had finally come.

"Let me take you on a date, give us a proper chance of starting something good," he suggested, trying to ease the nervous tension radiating off of you. Despite the turmoil in your head, his proposition had calmed your nerves significantly, your mind relaxing at knowing that this would not just be a one-night thing. And although a future relationship with him would be complicated, you somehow knew that it would be worth it in the long run. Because why throw away something good before it has even started?

THE END

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chaotic-super · 11 months

Text

Back To Krypton - Chapter 34

Read it on AO3 here!

“I cannot just reverse the decision to have Astra questioned, with her being my sister it would look… suspicious.”

“And the other option is that you do reverse the decision, take a small hit to the public’s perception of you and protect the future.” Lena counters. “I understand that you have responsibilities and a way you do things but if you don’t bend the rules and the scope of your sight for this, there will be irreparable damage so severe that you couldn’t even comprehend it.”

Alura sighs. She understands what Lena wants her to do and why but she needs her to do certain things but it is out of her control. There are decisions she’s made that just can’t be reversed. “I understand that, however, Astra has already been handed over for questioning and by now, she will have already indulged information that will put her in the danger you are hoping for her to avoid. It’s too late, I can’t do anything about it now.”

Lena lets out an annoyed breath. “Right, ok.”

Movement out of the corner of their eyes has them both turning their heads to look at the figure entering the room. Kara wanders in, a little apprehensive and looking slightly pale. “Hey.” Lena greets her softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Kara answers. “I’m just going to grab something to drink and then I’ll come and join you guys.”

“Let me.” Alura practically leaps off the couch. She’s in need of a break from the conversation with Lena and she’s more than happy to have this excuse. “Lena, would you like one too?”

“Sure, thank you.” Lena answers, barely listening because she’s still worried about Kara. She wasn’t doing too hot earlier and she still doesn’t look great.

Alura leaves and Kara takes her spot. “What were you talking about?”

“I was trying to convince her to let Astra go without questioning her. It’s too late though, the damage has been done.”

Kara nods slowly. “I had feared it would be. I guess we just have to work with what we’ve got now though. First, tell me what you’re feeling.”

Lena frowns. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that we’ve gone far too long with me not checking in on you and I think that needs to change so, hit me with it. My mom is hiding in there to go and get the drinks because you can be really intimidating when you want to be, so, what are you feeling?”

She’s got so many emotions running through her mind and all of them have been there for so long that she’s kind of just learned how to deal with them coexisting but at the same time, voicing those emotions and her feelings feels like a task too large for her to do, especially out of nowhere.

Instead, she just shakes her head. “I appreciate you asking but I think I need time to process and think.”

“Well, why don’t we talk it out then? Maybe that will help you process.” Kara pushes, her hand falling to softly sit on Lena’s shoulder.

Lena really does appreciate the gesture but it’s too much too fast. “Kara, can we just put it on the back burner? I really am thankful you’re asking but I need more time to think about it all, to untangle my thoughts. We can talk about it all later, ok?”

Kara’s face drops from open and concerned to disappointed and rejected. Lena gets it, she really does. Kara wants to be there for her in the same way she’s been there for Kara but she can’t go from having no emotional support in this way to suddenly having it all, it’s too big of a jump and it’s all way too sudden, she can’t just force it now for Kara’s sake, even if it does leave her disappointed.

“I promise, we’ll talk later. It’s not a no, it’s a not now.” Lena covers the hand on her shoulder with her own, squeezing it softly. “Ok?”

“Ok.” Kara agrees, masking the sadness on her face with a smile that if Lena didn’t know her so well, would fool her.

For Kara, she knows she’s been neglectful of Lena’s emotions, her own trauma and emotional well-being have been prioritized at the expense of Lena’s to the point where she barely even thought of it and now that she’s aware, she just wants to smother Lena with love and care and all of the things she’s been deprived of.

She can see Lena’s trying and she can see that she’s coming on too strong but she doesn’t know how to do it delicately, too afraid that if she takes on the task passively then Lena’s mental health will fall through the cracks again or it will seem like she doesn’t care or both.

It’s only when she sees the desperation in Lena’s eyes that she can see that she’s pushing too hard, that her love and care for Lena is too much and rather than feeling like what it is, it’s becoming something else, it’s becoming more of an issue for Lena, a pressure on top of everything else she’s dealing with, the things she’s been dealing with alone.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to come on too strong.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Lena squeezes her hand again and leans over to peck her cheek.

Kara does worry about it and while she leans into the kiss, she can’t help but feel like a fraud because here Lena is making her feel better again while all she’s done is make Lena feel worse.

Alura comes wandering back in, her walk slow, probably because she’s not looking forward to jumping back into the conversation they were just having. In her arms is a tray with a few glasses and a pitcher of some kind of drink, it’s got a tinge of green to it so Lena suspects that it’s some kind of fruit juice.

Kara smiles at the sight of it. One that’s genuine but Lena sees that it doesn’t meet her eyes. “Oh, you’ll love this Lena.”

Alura sets the tray on the side table beside the couch and Kara takes the initiative to pour the drinks, handing the first one over to Lena with a flourish because she’s so excited to see Lena take a sip. “I always loved this as a kid, it’s all fruit juice but it’s super sweet and just all around, really good.”

She hands Alura one next and then takes one for herself, immediately bringing it up to her lips and taking several big gulps. “Oh Rao, it’s so good.”

Lena watches Kara closely, her heart warmed by the excitement in the way she’s guzzling her drink and the way that even though she’s excited to drink it, she still took the time to make sure that Lena got the first glass.

Once Kara’s glass is empty, her focus quickly turns from the wonderous taste in her mouth to the woman beside her who has yet to so much as take a sip. Her eyes look between her and the glass excitedly, urging her to try it as she practically buzzes in her seat.

Lena isn’t really sure she likes being such a spectacle and momentarily worries that she won’t like it and it will just disappoint Kara further but upon taking a tiny sip, she realizes that it’s actually really nice. Maybe not her favourite but still really good. It’s got a sweet kind of tanginess to it that makes her lick her lips before taking another sip, a bigger one this time.

She looks up at Kara afterwards. “This is really good. What is it?”

“This is twellian juice. Twellians are fruits much like peaches, they’re soft and grow on trees.” Kara explains, the smile on her face growing more and more with every sip Lena takes, thrilled that she’s getting to experience something from Kara’s childhood, that she can see a little glimpse of who she was before she came to Earth. The person that she was, the one that she feels that these days, she can hardly remember but with each day she’s been back on Krypton, it comes back to her little by little.

Alura has taken a seat on one of the chairs rather than squeezing onto the couch with the pair of them, distancing herself. Protecting herself. She’s taken a small drink from her glass but has otherwise set it aside. “Ok, now that we’re here, shall we continue?”

Lena nods, handing Kara her now empty glass so she can set it back on the tray. “Sounds like a plan to me. What’s next on the agenda to be discussed?”

Alura’s hands clasp together on her lap. “I think it’s best you decide that, what can I do to help you?”

Kara and Lena share a look, one where they are both trying to figure out what the best course of action is, whether or not they just come out and say what they need and trust that Alura actually does want to help of ==r whether or not they play coy with it and hold their cards close to their chest.

“We need to get into Kandor and be able to get to—”

“Your father’s lab. Yes, you mentioned. What exactly do you need? I can go and get what you need for you, it’s much too dangerous for not only you but also the entire city for you to be wandering around doing Rao knows what.”

Kara scoffs. “What do you think we’re going to be doing? We’re not here for tourist season, we’re here to try and stop catastrophic damage occurring to our planet in the future. We just need to get to the lab, get the blueprints to one specific piece of technology and then once we’ve got that, we can be on our merry way and out of your hair. We just need to go into Kandor to get it.”

Alura rests her chin on a closed fist, her eyes fluttering closed while she thinks. Kara has seen her mother do this particular pose before, it’s one that she would often see her in whenever her mom would come home from council meetings, one where she’s going over every option she can think of in her head and thoroughly assessing the situation and that makes Kara nervous.

She’s nervous because she knows that whatever decision her mom makes now, she’s going to stand by it and that’s not something they will be able to skirt around easily.

Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Lena’s fingers drumming against her knee, a physical manifestation of her worry and unease. She tenderly covers Lena’s hand, slipping her fingers between Lena’s and letting the pressure calm her nerves.

For a brief moment, she’s afraid of being rebuffed, that she’s overstepping and Lena doesn’t want her to try and comfort her but when Lena turns her hand over so they’re holding hands properly and pulls Kara’s hand closer to her so their joined hands are resting against her stomach, it feels like a weight has been shifted off her shoulders.

It’s an awkward few minutes of Kara and Lena leaning into each other, their hands sweating and their knees bouncing while Alura barely moves all the while. Lena’s half convinced that she has fallen asleep and is about to whisper to Kara and suggest they head back to their room when she raises her head and leans back into her chair.

There’s a faint red mark left on the underside of her jaw from the pressure of her hand on her face but neither of them dare to mention it because while it is objectively funny, neither of them are ashamed to say that Alura is quite intimidating.

“I will take you to Kandor and then return you here once the trip is completed. You may stay here for another day or so afterwards but after that, you will be expected to leave the planet in whatever way you arrived. I cannot in good faith house you for longer than that. I will be watching you at the lab too. With the impending trouble with the planet’s instability, we have scientists working around the clock to try and solve the issue. Zor-El works alone for a portion of the day, I will be able to distract him long enough for you to retrieve what you need but I will need to know what it is because I will not allow you to take technology that is or could be made into a weapon. That’s a line I will not cross, even for my own daughter.”

Kara needs no time to think it over and clearly, Lena doesn’t either because she beats her to the punch. “We accept those conditions. We are not after weapons or anything of the sort, in fact, quite the opposite. We are looking for something to shut down a weapon, one that is very powerful and needs a very powerful off switch, one that we can only find here.”

“Excellent, Kara and I will head into Kandor later on today. You stay here with the rest of your group and we will be back a few hours after that with the schematics you require.” Alura nods her head once as if to motion that it is set in stone and then goes to stand, only pausing when Lena’s voice rings out.

“Wait! That’s not the deal. I need to come too, we’re not leaving anyone behind, we need to stay together, we can’t split up now.”

Alura doesn’t let her argue for long. “Krypton is not as accepting as it used to be towards alien species and Kandor is the capital city, Kara and I can move through the crowds unnoticed, you cannot, you are too foreign and you don’t have the knowledge of our culture enough to blend in.”

Lena wants to rebuke that fact but the truth is that she doesn’t really know enough about the culture within a Kryptonian city to get by. She can speak Kryptonese pretty well at this point but she doesn’t know all of the customs and the fashion and the mannerisms that come with that environment and Kara does so it makes sense for her to go and get the blueprints. It’ll be much faster for her to go alone with her mom but Lena is having a hard time trusting the woman. There’s something not quite right about her, something she can’t place her finger on but can see lingering just below the surface.

It’s an odd juxtaposition to the way she can see Alura looking at Kara though because while there is a strangeness to it, a hardness in her eyes as she tries to separate the daughter she knows, the twelve-year-old girl, from the woman in front of her, there’s still that motherly love there, that maternal instinct that she is possessed by because whether she likes it or not, she knows that this is her daughter and she has to deal with what that means and the feelings that come along with that.

Lena’s just not sure that the motherly instincts will come through should Kara need them to, she’s not sure as though Alura will be able to help her because while she is very much her daughter, for Alura, this Kara is secondary to the young Kara and she will do whatever it takes to keep her Kara safe.

“You’ll be careful?” Lena leans into Kara’s side.

“Yeah, I promise. I’ll take my notebook so I know which schematics I need and once I have them, we can come right back and plan our exit out of here. We could be on our way home this time tomorrow if all goes as planned.”

Alura stands, her posture immaculate and her shoulders set in a way that makes her look strong, regal even. “That sounds wonderful to me. I think it’s best we get you on your way as soon as possible.”

Kara doesn’t like that her mother is suddenly taking on this more professional demeanour, it’s as if she’s suddenly switched into her council member mode and is more focused on getting them gone so she can go back to doing nothing about the impending doom of the planet. It’s worrying considering she holds the key to a lot of the security of the future, particularly with the decisions she’s going to make soon enough.

“I will fetch you some clothes, Kara. Why don’t you and your group have something to eat and then once you are ready, you can come and fetch me? I will be working in the office down the hall from your rooms. Oh, and maybe go and check on the H’Rakas too before we go.”

“That sounds good.” Kara follows her mom down towards the room where the others are staying, her hand still clasped with Lena’s. She knocks and lets herself in while Alura continues up the hall to where she has been staying to go and get Kara something to wear since her clothes are most definitely not those befitting of a Kryptonian, let alone a Kryptonian from a noble family.

All of the others are huddled on the bed and sat in a poorly shaped circle while they are playing some kind of card game. Kara waves to them as she enters and Lena follows suit, sliding the door closed after them and perching on the tiny space left on the bed after Kara does the same.

“Hey, how are you guys doing?” Lena asks, watching the card game over Nia’s shoulder.

“Good,” Kelly answers for the group. “We got to have hot showers so we’re absolutely wonderful. Any updates on what’s going on?”

“Yes, actually.” Kara’s lips pull into a small smile. “My mom and I are going to head into Kandor later on today and we’re going to go to my father’s lab so that I can get the schematics for the machine we need. In the meantime though, shall we go and eat because I’m starving?”

Esme dumps her cards on the bed in front of her and bounces to her feet and then into Kara’s arms. “Yes! I’m hungry too!” She wraps her arms around Kara’s neck as she wiggles in Kara’s embrace.

Kara lifts her up as she stands, prompting Esme to wrap her legs around her waist. She makes eye contact with Lena through the wild mess of Esme’s hair, which is tickling her nose, and reaches out a hand to her so she can hold her hand again since she had to let go to catch Esme but she’s got a good enough grip on her now that she feels pretty secure about holding her with one arm.

“Come on then, guys. Let’s go and eat and then afterwards we can check on Bolt and Swoopy.”

Alex stumbles to her feet and helps Kelly up but as she passes Nia and holds out a hand as if to help her, she waits for Nia to try and take it before swiping it away before she can grab hold of it and then pushes her back so she falls on the bed with a grunt, chuckling to herself at the indignant noise she’s just drawn out of the woman.

“Yes, please feed me and then you can tell me all about your plans for Kandor which you have neglected to include us in.” Alex barges past Lena too but presses a sweet kiss to the top of Esme’s head as she passes them so she can lead the way to the kitchen, her stomach rumbling all the while.

Kara finds a dress waiting for her on the bed when she goes to get ready to head out. They have eaten, checked on the H’Rakas and filled the rest of the group in on the plans and while they too are unhappy with the fact that Kara is going alone into Kandor with Alura, they also know that they can’t get away with going with her either because they just don’t have the knowledge to do so.

Once everyone was up to date and all cheery from the knowledge that the mission is nearing the end and that they will be back on the ship home soon enough, Nia being especially happy about that because it means she will get to see Brainy for the first time in weeks, she headed out to get ready.

Picking the dress up, Kara holds it against her body and looks down at it, closing her eyes for a brief moment because it’s been so long since she’s worn anything like it. She was just a child the last time she wore the clothes of her people.

“You’ll look beautiful in that, my daughter.” Alura’s voice makes her jump and with it, a tear forces its way free and runs down her cheek. She’s quick to wipe it away but not quick enough. “Why are you crying?”

Alura moves towards her, her hand pressing against Kara’s cheek. Kara just shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll go and get changed.” She points to the bathroom and goes to move but Alura holds her steady by her bicep.

“Lena told me that you have lost everything. Is this part of that?” She grips the edge of the dress between two fingers, lifts it up and then lets it delicately sail back into place. “You lost our culture too?”

Kara can’t look her mother in the eye. When she was put in her pod it was with the task of looking after Kal and preserving their culture and their customs through teaching him and raising him with the knowledge she had, limited as it may be since she was still young herself. She failed. “Everything.”

Alura swallows audibly and picks Kara’s chin up from where her head has tilted down towards the floor. “Well then, get dressed and then I’ll do your hair, let’s see if we can give you back a little of what you lost.”

Kara finds herself being pushed into the bathroom and she’s given barely a minute to get changed before Alura is letting herself in and attacking her hair with a hairbrush, styling it in several small braids that wrap around her head in a way that she used to do a lot when she was a child. The braids pull her hair out of her face but still leave a good portion of it down to flow around her shoulders.

“Do you remember what the best thing about Kandor is?” Alura asks suddenly, tying off the last braid.

Kara shakes her head, watching her mom through the mirror.

“The best thing about Kandor is the fact that you can dress up as fancy as you like and nobody bats an eye because it’s the most densely populated city on the planet and there are so many social classes living there that you can afford to dress up a little and still go completely unnoticed.” Alura pats her on the shoulders. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

Kara does as she’s told but she would anyway because she can’t take her eyes off of her reflection. The dress and the hair, it’s strange. She knows that it’s her reflection but it doesn’t look like her. It’s like she’s looking into a portal showing an alternate timeline, one that she daren’t dream of – one where she never went to Earth, one where Krypton lives on, one where she got to fulfil her purpose on her own planet. This is the true Kara Zor-el. This is the Kara that she has spent years searching for on earth so she can be her true, authentic self and it’s only now as she sees herself that she knows she’ll never be that girl. That girl is dead.

Alura flounces back in with a smile and wearing a different dress. The one she was wearing earlier was much more conservative but she’s changed now so she’s wearing a dress similar to the one she’s given Kara to wear. Kara’s is striking blue whilst Alura’s is a darker midnight blue. Both are flowy and light with their family crest delicately embroidered into them on the chests, much smaller than the one Kara wears on her Supergirl suit though.

Alura turns her around to face her. “Let me do your make-up.”

Kara stays perfectly still and lets her mom do her make-up, her eyes closed and just committing this to memory, the feeling of the brushes against her skin and the smell of her mother’s perfume. It’s what she imagines would have happened if she had been accepted into the science guild and this would have been her mother helping her dress nicely for her acceptance ceremony. She can almost remember it, a memory that was never to be.

When she opens her eyes and sees her reflection, she gasps. She looks beautiful, the epitome of Kryptonian beauty. It brings a tear to her eye and Alura is quick to cup her cheek. “No crying, you’ll ruin your make-up.”

Kara’s lids are painted blue to match her dress and there are delicate gold lines painted across them too as well as a thin line outlining the bottom of her brows, a custom she had forgotten until she sees it on her own face.

There are two more lines down either side of her nose and then a single horizontal line across the apples of each cheek. It makes her shake her head. “I had forgotten…” She trails off, the lump in her throat not letting her get any more words out.

“And now you remember.” Alura grabs a small tin and dips her finger in the light pink gloss inside before gently running it over Kara’s lips – the finishing touch.

Kara moves to the side and watches as her mother does the same make-up on herself, all the while trying to resist looking at herself because she could stare all day at the person she so wishes she had a chance to become.

Once they are both ready and Kara has her notebook in hand, they head out of the room, ready to head out. They step into the living room and in an instant, every eye is on Kara specifically, her family seeing her for the alien she is in a way that she has never shown them before.

“We’re going to head out,” Kara announces.

Lena stands before she’s even realized what she’s done and she walks towards her, her hand raising as if to cup her cheek but then falling, too afraid of messing up the hard work thereby smudging any of the make-up.

“You look beautiful.”

The earnestness of the statement takes Kara’s breath away but she manages to whisper out a reply. “Thank you.”

“Are you ready, Kara?” Alura asks.

Kara nods before turning back to Lena. “Will you be alright?”

“Of course.”

“Can we talk about earlier when I get back?” She keeps her voice low so the others don’t hear.

Lena smiles, a genuine one that is born of seeing that Kara is making a genuine effort, one where she’s aware that Kara is thinking of her and taking her feelings into account. Of course, this is just the first step but as far as first steps go, she’s not doing too bad. She might have fumbled earlier but she’ll figure it out and Lena will be here when she does.

“Yeah, just come back safe, ok?”

“I will, I promise.”

Lena presses a gentle kiss to her lips, some of the gloss getting onto her own lips in the process. Kara cleans it up from where it is smudged with a thumb. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Lena replies, stepping back so Kara can leave but grabs her hand as she passes her which prompts her to look back. “I meant it, Kara, you look beautiful.”

She lets her go and they both move away with matching smiles, the group pretending not to watch their intimate moment but their admiration for the pair evident on their faces.

Read the next 3 chapters early on Patreon here!

#supercorp #supergirl #lena luthor #kara x lena #cw supergirl #kara danvers #fanfic #supercorp endgame #supercorp fanfic #fanfiction #kara zor el #wlw #chaoticsuper #back to krypton

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ad-hawkeye · 11 months

Note

You can tag this under 50 Shades, but after I read this post from Hoyolab, hoyolab (.) com/#/article/19978642/, if this is true, I am very disappointed about this direction, though it is one I've seen coming. That being said, you've given your thoughts on the writing. In your ideal world, where would the cards post 2nd anniversary have gone, if you had to keep the general situation/environment, but could change up everything else about it?

holy fuck, the way i actually agree with everything in this post. here is the link for those curious, it's a fantastic read tbh.

a few of us in our tot discord have discussed this as well. here are a few brief snippets below.

sorry for the incoherent mess of thoughts below, words are Not coming easy HAHA.

but yeah... like the post said, barbie is a very good way of putting it.

i used to have the same issue with luke. i'm not a huge fan of characters being good at Too Many Things, especially when there's no flaws to balance it out. it really pulls me out of the story. so like. the more you try to impress me with a character, the less impressed i'll be. which. is why i haaaate artem's newer cards.

see, the thing is, the whole reason why i liked artem in the first place is because of how he felt like the down to earth option. he wasn't the childhood friend/undercover agent/detective/stem genius, he wasn't a ceo and son of the richest family in stellis, and he wasn't literal royalty. he was just a lawyer who worked with rosa. he was bad at talking to people. he was a bit of a homebody. he was LAME. completely inexperienced in romance. he was good at his job, but it was obvious he put all of his skill points into being a lawyer and no where else. his abilities with shooting and cooking were both important aspects to his character, but the skills hoyoverse added beyond that just baffle me.

he wasn't cool, but he was kind and genuine.

ever since second anniversary, there has been absolutely no consistency to artem's character whatsoever.

neil gets mentioned less and less even though he was a major part of artem's life AND character. neil was his father figure, since his parents were rarely, if ever, around. and yet, in recent cards, tot constantly goes out of its way to try and convince us artem's parents did nothing wrong. to add to that, we're lucky if neil is even mentioned.

in earlier cards, it was very clear artem was grieving neil's disappearance (see: entwined fate). it was also clear artem's childhood circumstances were extremely lonely and caused him to try and brush off the neglect because he didn't want to stress out his already busy parents (see: loving memories and his dreams of childhood sr)! earlier cards also hinted at traumatic events and a fear of firearms due to how dangerous neil's job as a lawyer was (see: focus fire).

but for god knows what reason, newer cards said well! fuck all of this! artem no longer gives one single shit about neil! also? honestly? the writers seem confused and disoriented by artem downplaying his childhood issues and just made it so he truly Had no issues with his childhood. which. ok. i guess.

in recent months, we have not had one single card where rosa and artem sit down to talk about how artem feels about neil's disappearance. one single card where artem even openly addresses any traumatic experiences. or emotional neglect in childhood.

remember when focus fire mentioned that a disgruntled mafia member held him and neil at gunpoint because he was pissed neil put everyone else in the gang behind bars?? no?? yeah, me neither! because it's never mentioned again! old tot content implies it was incidents like these, the general emotional neglect from his parents, and neil's disappearance that contributed to artem's closed off personality. but man, fuck that! for some reason!

this doesn't even touch upon artem's romantic and sexual inexperience, which has also been entirely undone. he's a sex god now, i guess.

and let us not forget how artem has learned and forgot the same lessons like, several times. artem did we not learn why jealousy and possessiveness are bullshit in atmospherics, por una cabeza, etc...??? are we really back at this again? and it's not even being addressed as a character flaw anymore? okay! okay. fine! whatever.

but okay. i'm getting off track. you asked me an entirely different question! where would i have liked to have seen the cards go? i think the cards following second anniversary are so... well, nothing that you could probably swap out the plots and avoid losing anything of importance.

honestly, i think artem's cards would have shined the best if they stuck to his original character. so when considering the confines we have now:

artem is extremely emotionally repressed. it'd take time for him to come out of his shell. and his early dating cards do begin like this! it's very endearing! several cards could focus on this progression as he becomes more comfortable and relaxed with rosa. progression into being engaged. living with someone for the first time. please.

rosa and artem's dynamic has like, vanished in recent cards. which is a goddamn shame, because their more comfortable dynamics in his railroad, revisiting youth, and snowfallen secrets cards are so charming! they joke around! artem's sense of humor pokes out! they act like real PEOPLE! they're silly! they're nerds! they're equals! i'd keep this dynamic instead of it just being artem flipping back and forth between sex god and "yes i will do whatever you want [insert player name here]"

neil. please, can we focus on neil. what being a lawyer means to artem. how neil influenced that. how artem feels about neil being gone, how artem feels about neil's possible betrayal of the nxx?? he could always have an arc of going through the stages of grief, or learning to look at things through a new lens. being sad neil won't be around for milestones. etc.

the incidents implied in focus fire. okay, being held at gunpoint is pretty uhhh fucking traumatic. did any other events happen bc of neil's status? his parents' statuses? is this why he is so emotionally repressed? is this why he takes the law so seriously?

his parents. can we stop acting like his parents did nothing wrong. please. his parents used to be portrayed under the "well meaning but ultimately very flawed" light, which i adored. it was grey. it was human. maybe artem could learn that it wasnt right of his parents to be so nonexistent in his life. his parents can still love him and make mistakes. maybe he could rebuild his relationship w his parents? maybe once he realizes what he went through wasn't normal, he can be angry, and work through it. idk! anything! please!

more focus on rosa. her studies. her exams. anything. her family. her past. her hobbies. her teaching artem something. rosa talking about her issues. pelase. Please.

it truly feels like his original writers got swapped out, and the new ones have no idea what artem's charm was in the first place. they have no idea how his character even works, so they're just desperately trying to attach Cool Hobbies to him bc they think he's more boring than the other boys when like. that's the fucking point, that IS his charm.

gosh this was so long and i'm sorry if it's like. UNREADABLE or if i totally missed the point but this was like. Freeing to type out. thank you for reaching out anon, it turns out i had more thoughts than i expected!! hope you're having a lovely day! : )

#tears of themis #artem wing #tot critical #fifty shades of artem #a lot of these started as nitpicks but w the newer cards it just keeps piling up and getting worse!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAA #feel like SHIT want entwined fate and focus fire back!!!!!!!!

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