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kaeyas-beloved · 6 months

Text

a moment too late

Characters: Ayato, Diluc, Childe, Cyno, Wriothesley, Zhongli

— your husband doesn't make it to you in time...

CW: ANGST w/ very little to no comfort, gn!reader (they/them pronouns), scars (Diluc), blood (Diluc, Childe, Cyno, Zhongli), death (all except Cyno and Diluc), kidnapping (Cyno), minor Fontaine Act 1 + 4 spoilers (Primordial Sea Water - iykyk), spoilers for Childe’s real name

val's no sympathy novemeber masterlist

I don't know if I can take a month of hurting my boys....

Thinking about them not making it in time...

Ayato, who had been in an important meeting.

He'd given strict instructions to all his retainers and the Shuumatsuban to not interrupt under any circumstance. So, when one of the newer helpers knocked on the door, the commissioner was less than pleased. Without letting the young man get a word out, Ayato cuts him off, a sharp smile on his face. "Please, wait outside. I'll deal with the matter after this."

When the retainer tried again, a feeble "but, my lord-!" sputtering over his twisted tongue, the change in Ayato's tone couldn't be missed, and it left no room for interjections.

When a second knock echoed through the room some minutes later, it took everything in the clan head not to sigh out loud in front of all the powerful politicians and businessmen. This time, however, when it was the familiar face of Thoma that stepped in, a scarily straight face as his expression, something shifted in the male. It didn't help that the pyro user didn't stop his advancement toward him, even at the call of his name.

It was like the whole world shattered the moment the blond leaned by his ear, the news that you'd been placed in the nearest hospital plummetting his heart into his stomach.

There's this inner struggle that takes over, the role of a leader and your husband fighting against one another - he can't just leave so abruptly, but he also feels like he might crumble if he isn't by your side in the next ten seconds.

It's the firm hand that's placed on his shoulder that breaks him away from his thoughts. Following the arm he meets the slight smile of Thoma, "I have this handled, my lord. Go, be with them."

He's up and out of the room in an instant, briskly walking in the direction of the hospital. When he gets there he borderline demands the receptionist to tell him your room number, off again the moment she gets the last syllable out. Just as he reaches the curtain separating you from him, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest, a doctor steps out.

"Lord Kamisato..." his tone is grave as he blocks the entrance with his body. Despite the obvious attempt to stop the young lord from entering, your husband tries to sidestep him. He's stopped by a simple raise of the hand and he feels a mix of disdain and unsettlement swirl within.

"Please, let me speak with them," Ayato nothing but begs, something he never does. He's known as a negotiator, a logical reasoning man, he doesn't need to beg for what he needs in the political world, but for you, his world, he'd gladly grovel at this man's feet just for you.

The aforementioned man licks his lips, adjusting his clipboard so it rests against his chest, "I'm sorry Mr. Kamisato, but that won't be possible..."

The urgency rises and Ayato moves the doctor out of his way, stepping into your room. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together about what was trying to be said, but your lover can't bring himself to believe it. Not you too.

The moment he's at your bedside he leans close, trying to wear a smile as he places his hand on your shoulder, softly shaking you the exact same way he did that very morning. "My dear... wake up. This is no time for your silly tricks, we have to go home and have dinner together like I promised." His warm hands move up to your cheek, brushing his thumb along your equally warm skin, but when you make no move or noise the reality finally sets in for him.

His broken smile slips and all he can manage is a soft call of your name. Of course, there's still no answer, and Ayato is stuck flipping between the different stages of grief.

What if he'd listened the first time? Let the retainer who initially walked in speak? Would he have gotten a chance to speak with you? To tell you he loves you? To say goodbye properly?

You can't actually be dead, right? There's no way this is happening to him again.

He starts to promise to spend more time with you, he'll take off as much time as you want him to, he'll take you to that restaurant you've been wanting to go to but couldn't bring yourself to without him, he'll visit the land of Liyue with you - he knows you've been gushing about the scenery and culture recently. He'll do it all and more, you just had to open your eyes again for him.

Silence.

"Damn it all..." he whispered, face twisting in agony. Of course he couldn't have it his way this time. As if his parents weren't enough, the world just had to take you away from him too.

The doctor watches for a moment as one of the most powerful men in Inazuma sheds tear after tear before him, the droplets falling and hitting your lifeless body. As Ayato sinks to his knees before you, the doctor takes this as his cue to step out.

For the next few hours, the hospital is noticeably quieter, no one daring to interrupt a man who's just lost one of the dearest people to him.

For the next few hours, Ayato's tears slowly soak your shirt, his grip on the bedding knuckle white, his sobs muffled by your skin as it slowly grows colder and colder, fighting to commit everything about you to memory.

That night, he could not bring himself to eat dinner, for all he could remember was you, the way you smiled at him and how it was all ripped away from him, never to be seen again.

———

Diluc, whose connections are spread all over the world yet no one could locate you.

It should be impossible. The owner of Dawn Winery only associates himself with competent business partners. So, how could it be that the best of the best from all walks of life and all backgrounds couldn't locate the one person he needed to find?

Tirelessly, the redhead looked for you. Many sleepless nights weighed on him from shouldering so many responsibilities at once. He constantly asked for updates on the investigation and every time the news that there were no advances was just another layer of stress for him. So, of course, the moment the word of your location reached his ears, Diluc was up and out the door, claymore in hand, a fury in his eyes that few have seen only a handful of times.

When he got there, there being some far corner of Starfell Valley on the mountainside, there was no time to process or ask questions. All he knew was that you needed help if you wanted even a chance of making it out alive.

By a stroke of luck, you managed to escape the Abyss Mages that had been holding you hostage, an atrocious act that was no doubt aimed to make The Darknight Hero suffer. However, weaponless and exhausted, the creatures of down under easily caught up to you, surrounding you and throwing you around like a ragdoll. Diluc counted seven - one hydro, two electro, two cryo and two pyro - each using the elements to keep you from running too far.

With a few swift strikes of his enflamed claymore, the cryo and hydro mages disappeared in a cloud of red and black. Of course, they'd be the easiest of the group to get rid of. The last four would be the real challenge.

In between strikes, Diluc managed to get close to you, bending down to your fallen form. “Are you alright? Can you walk?” He did a once over of your body, noting that dirt clung to you and a couple cuts littered your skin. You could barely move too, having the shit kicked out of you.

“Not very far…” you groaned, raising your body slightly off the ground. Your lover nodded, glancing at the enemy before helping you stand.

“That’s alright, just get to that tree over there. I’ll come get you and take you home soon.” Diluc watches for a moment as you nod and begin to make your way over, turning his back to you once you've made decent progress. Taking up his weapon once more, it's a brutal clash of sparks and fire as he lets his adrenaline and rage fuel his every move. Soon, one electro mage goes down, and then the second and then one of the pyro ones until all that stands between him and getting you medical care and a nice bath is a single pyro Abyss Mage.

The demonic creature cackles loudly, a shrill sound that echoes in the silence. As it begins to wave its staff, a shock of recognition strikes Diluc and he glances around, looking for where the fire-breathing faces are going to appear. When he doesn't spot any dread fills his being and he chances a glance towards you, praying to the Archons that what he's thinking isn't about to play out.

The gods weren't in his favour.

Time seems to slow as he watches the triangle of heads surround you; he watches as you slowly turn to face one head-on, your tired eyes widening as you register the situation. Dilcu's only able to catch you turning your face away before he attacks the mage while its guard is down, interrupting its early dance of victory.

The next few minutes are a blur, both for you and your husband. Everything hurts, any slight movement or breath sends shooting pain through your body. When Diluc picks you up off the ground you let out the most heartbreaking cry he's heard and it took everything in him not to just stand there and soothe you.

He mumbled apology after apology, offering words of comfort as he ran as best he could without harming you further. When he made it to the cathedral he was ushered out of the room, every nun available flocking to your side. Despite the overwhelming emotions building in him, Diluc lets you go, waiting with as much patience as he can muster, which isn't a lot at that moment.

It takes about an hour before a sister approaches him, every second that he waited excruciating. She tells him that while your face was unharmed, you having managed to lean out of the way just in time, your upper arm, shoulder and the base of your neck on your left side were burned pretty bad and that scarring was almost guaranteed.

"But are they alive?" is all he asks in return. He cares that you were hurt, but he cares more to know if you'll live to spend another day with him. All the sister can do is nod, informing him that recovery will be slow, but you are alive. She adds right after that while you passed out from everything he was still allowed to enter and sit by your side. So, he does.

The nun didn't lie when she told him that things would be slow. It took several days before you could be discharged, and even when you were the days and nights that followed were filled with more torture than the usual joy.

Your burns would irritate at the slightest things, and you started to doubt your looks, wondering if your husband would still love you by the end when the wounds were all healed. At night you were haunted by nightmares of your time in captivity, and by the face of the abyss spell that burned you. It didn't help that the face was red and fluffy, just like Diluc's hair, leaving you to back away from him every time you woke up from that recurring dream, your mind tricking you that that thing had come back.

And all Diluc could do was hold you close to his chest once you saw that it was just him. He'd rub a warm hand along your back as you sobbed and shivered, quietly blaming himself for not being fast enough - to find you, to defeat the enemy, to get you out of the way of the fight. If he had been, if he succeeded in any of those things, then maybe you wouldn't have to live with this pain and trauma.

You were alive, but at what cost?

———

Childe, who was all the way in Inazuma for a mission.

Your husband left you that fateful day with a tight hug, a promise to come home and a kiss on the lips. As he walked further and further away from you all you could think about was greeting him in the same fashion. Your touch was his favourite thing after all, a reminder that you're there with him and that you love him despite all his wrongdoings.

The day came when Ajax set foot back in his homeland, and the first thing he did was search for you at the dock. When he didn't spot you, he'll admit he was a little disappointed but didn't think much of it. You were most likely just relaxing at home.

Yet, when he walked through the door he couldn’t find you anywhere. “Strange… where could they have gone? Maybe mom and dad’s?”

A quick trip over there reveals nothing however, just the tidbit of information from his mother on how it’s been a couple days since you’ve visited and that you last told them you were needing to chop some firewood.

Now he was not only confused but a sense of dread plagued his chest. Hoping it’s just his normal worrying, Ajax bids farewell to his family and heads back home. Sure enough, he spotted some stacked logs off to the side. What didn’t make sense though was the lack of an axe and the footprints that lead further into the tree line behind your home.

Following the tracks, the male’s eyes widen and his expression falls as the patterns in the snow go from clean prints to frantic clusters, as if you began running. What really injected fear into him though was the barely visible Treasure Hoarder insignia buried in the snow, its gold sheen glistening from the sun.

At this point his feet had a mind of their own as he picked up the pace, his mind running a mile a minute with the scariest thoughts his brain could conjure.

He wasn’t sure if he should've been relieved or frightened when he found you lying in the snow. Either way, he sprinted the rest of the way to you, calling out your name. You were on your side, back to him; you must’ve rolled into the fetal position to stay warm.

And that’s when he noticed it, the pink tint of the usually pure white snow surrounding your fallen form. Panic shoots through him as he rolls you onto your back, his hand recoiling at the state you were in, covering his mouth.

"No..." your cold gaze stares up at the sky, skin lacking the warmth he craves after a long day. Between the folds of your undone coat reveals where most, if not all the blood flowed from, now dry from days passed. With a shaky hand, he moves the cloth aside, surveying the damage.

The cut was deep but didn't hit anything major from the looks of it... you would have bleed out slow and painfully, and the mere idea makes him sick to his stomach. More and more he looks at the damage done to you and the more his blood boils and his heart stutterers. You were innocent, his spouse, his best friend, you had no intimate dealings with Fatui work, so why you?

His eyes narrow back in the direction of the insignia, the sorrow morphing into anger; they were fucking cowards, going after you instead of him. At the sanctuary of your home no less.

Looking back at the body that once housed your soul, he noticed something odd about your hand. It was clasped shut like you were holding onto something.

He starts to pry your fingers open, and for just a moment he can imagine that you're alive, back in the warmth of your home, grasping his scarf in a game of keep away. He'd pull you close, wrapping an arm around you and trapping you to his chest, grasping your wrist and trying to get the red fabric from you. Your husband would laugh merrily, "demanding" that you give him it back or else, to which you'd tell him no, because as long as you had it then he couldn't leave for the day.

When your palm finally opens up is the same moment time really stops and the world doesn't feel real around him. Picking up the small object, Ajax clasps it in his own hands, bringing it close to his chest - his heart - in hopes of feeling just the last bit of you left behind. He won't ever know this, but what he's doing now was exactly what you did in your final hour - you held the tangible promise you made with him close to you, your thoughts filled with him and only him as you took your last breath.

From that day onwards, your wedding ring rests against his collarbone, a string looped through it. He never takes it off, nor does he remove his own ring, because to him, you were the only one fit to take the place at his side in life. He doesn't want anyone else to love him, because no one could ever love or hold him in such high regard like you did.

It was everything or nothing, and you are his everything. Since you're gone, he'll gladly settle for nothing. Anything else and he'd label himself a cheater to your love.

———

Cyno, who prioritized catching the mastermind, lest any more innocents get hurt.

The General Mahamatra trudged back through the desert sands, clouds of dust trailing behind him. His grip was tight against the criminal’s wrists, leaving no room for escape. While part of him was solely focused on the captured mastermind, another part of him was thinking about you and how he's going to make it up to you for neglecting you the last few weeks. How could he ever possibly thank you or repay you for your neverending patience?

Rounding the last rock, Cyno finally makes it back to where he left you, having instructed you to wait there until he returned. You know that it was vital to stay put, so why is it that you've disappeared? Eyes red like the sunset scan the camp, finding that nothing was missing among your personal belongings or supplies.

As he continued to try and piece together the clues, you stood frozen in the shadows, an arm pulling you against a chest, keeping you in place. The hand over your mouth didn't help quell your fear, nor did the warm, rancid breath that tickled your neck.

How hard do you have to stare at the back of your lover's head for him to just turn in your direction!? Apparently very hard, because no matter how much you will a telepathic message his way, he still fails to find you. Tears begin to slide down your face - is this really it? Will this be the end? When he's so close to you? Will he turn and walk in the wrong direction, giving the man holding you time to escape with you in tow?

The looming threat that if you step out of line you risk harming yourself and Cyno plays in your mind, but you also remember nights lying in bed with your husband, whispering reassurance to him that no matter the situation you knew he'd always save you. You had full confidence in his abilities.

Gathering your resolve you take a leap of faith and elbow your captor, biting the hand that impairs your voice. Making a mad dash from the hiding spot, you scream for Cyno, watching as his head whips in your direction.

It all happened so fast after that. One second there's just you, him and the two Eremites and in the next, you're surrounded. The mastermind Cyno had been holding manages to retch his arms free, whistling a tune causing other desert dwellers to pop up from seemingly nowhere. A capture net is being thrown over you, aiming true and trapping you once more. Cyno, now flanked from all sides, can only watch helplessly as two men grasp the ends of the net, dragging you like you're nothing but a sack of goods.

You squirm with all your might, but it does nothing as you're effortlessly tossed in a caravan, screaming and sobbing for your husband. Amidst the scuffle, the leader orders the others to "shut them up" and right after a powder is poured on you, the effects taking seconds to kick in.

You begin to quiet until you slump on your side, and Cyno feels the urgency build even more. He channels all the strength he has into at least breaking through to get to you, but the moment he does the snap of reins echoes out and the cart takes off.

So, he runs, because for once something much for valuable that his life is on the line. Because he can't afford to let the bad guy get away this time.

But a man cannot match the pace of a horse, and it isn't long before his stamina reaches its limit and he stumbles, and you disappear over the horizon.

———

Wriothesley, who believed he could save everyone.

By no means was the warden of the Fortress of Meropide lacking in skills. He's proven time and time again that he's worthy of the title of Duke among the underwater structure, able to shoulder the responsibility of keeping each and every inmate well cared for and as comfortable as possible.

Perhaps that was the reason he's failing now to protect those he really cares for, for you were no inmate, but rather the person he swore to spend the rest of his life with.

He knew that this day would come, but he was still so, so unprepared for it. The damn seal was due to break sooner or later, and it chose today of all days to do so. The evacuation was quick, maybe even quicker than the first one, but there was one difference this time around. Today was also the day that a couple Melusines had come in Monsieur Neuvillette's place, delivering some reports to Wriothesley while also taking this time to speak with Sigewinne.

"Where are they?" The Duke grits his teeth, running through every area he can reach. You weren't far behind, having insisted a second pair of eyes was better than one. When another room turned up empty he slammed his first into the wall, cursing loudly.

You did another look through in the places he missed before sighing, placing a hand on his chest, "We'll find them Wrio. Take a deep breath, please." He stares at you for a moment, doing as you suggested. You offer a small smile, "There aren't many rooms left, they've gotta be here."

"I know," he sighs, running a hand through his messy hair, "but we're running out of time."

Just as he says that the building rumbles and shakes, the sound of a pipe bursting in the distance sending fear through your body. All it takes is a shared look for you two to start running again, eyes and ears sharp as you try to catch even the slightest signs of life.

There were only two rooms left to check when you heard a call, not by a Melusine but by a pair of inmates. Turning to look, your stress levels spike.

“Shit, this isn’t good,” Wriothesley mutters, surveying the situation the moment you both made it over. One of the inmates was trapped underneath a metal panel, and his buddy wasn’t strong enough to lift it off him on his own.

They plead for help and you can see the cool grey eyes of your lover start to unfocus, a million thoughts passing through his mind. Time is running out, and as he's internally about to lose his cool the sound of your voice brings him back.

Laying a hand on his shoulder you squeeze firmly, "Listen, how about we split up? You deal with this and I go find the Melusines. We'll be faster that way."

His eyes widen at your proposition, and he doesn't even have to think twice about denying, "Now, hold on just a-!"

Another tremor, and you have to harden your tone to get your point across, “We don’t have time Wriothesley, help them and I’ll search the two rooms. When you’re done get them out of here, I won’t be far behind!”

He wants to say no, wants you to get to the surface and he'll take care of the inmate and missing Melusines, but as he looks at the crumbling Fortress he finds himself biting his lips before nodding. "You better stay safe, or else."

You smile, turning and disappearing into the second last room. A quick search proves nothing and when you leave you see your husband beginning to pull out the stuck inmate. You're able to meet gazes for a moment only to break it off, rushing into the last room.

It's easy to spot the brightly coloured blue beings amongst the dreary Fortress walls. "Thank Archons!" You sigh, almost tripping over your feet in your hurry to get them, scooping them up in your arms, "we have to go now you two!"

There's a groan of metal and the clatter of something collapsing in the distance, and it's safe to say you didn't waste time sprinting out of there. As you pass where you last saw your husband, there's a momentary wave of relief at seeing him no longer lingering there. You know then that he's gotten out, and that he's probably waiting anxiously for you.

The thought pushes you to get out faster, jumping over any puddles that have formed or debris. But just because you can jump doesn't mean you can dodge.

One piece then two fell from above, but when you look up dread courses through you upon the realization that a good section of the roof is about to drop. You acted before you could fully think and tossed the two tiny beings in your arms, sprinting just a little faster before leaping yourself. You're glad you managed to throw them out of the collapse zone, but you weren't so lucky, your leg getting trapped from midway to your knee and down under the pile of rubble. All it took was one attempt at tugging your leg out to know it was stuck under there good.

"Go," you pointed in the direction of the exit, immediately beginning to dig yourself out. The least you could do was get them to safety. The Melusines however hesitated, looking at each other before looking at you again. You knew they weren't strong enough to lift anything off you, so you repeated the one-word order, adding that you'd be right behind them.

You hear more than you see them run off, and after a minute of struggling you manage to free yourself, continuing towards the exit.

Wriothesley didn't stick around the entrance, instead busying himself with checking on everyone. If he didn't then he'd go mad and rush back in to get you. As he made another round he spotted the two creatures of the sea clutching onto the Iudex, their heads buried in his neck. If they were safe, then you must've made it out too, right?

Wriothesley gives the order to close the Fortress of Meropide off completely, and he watches unaware as he cages you in. It's only by chance that, once he's almost to the surface, he looks out the window of his escape submarine and through one of the windows of the Fortress. The horror sets in.

Even if it's useless, you stumble and limp up to the glass, banging on it, screaming for him. You're not sure what he'd do though, maybe you just wanted to see him one last time, wanted to tell him you love him, that it's not his fault. You stare at him, tears streaming down your face before turning your back to the ocean and sliding down to the ground.

Even if he can't hear you, you whisper out your love for him, how you'd never hold this against him. You pray to the Archons, to the Traveler, to Neuvillette, to Clorinde to watch over him for you.

You eye the rising water, and to make it just a little more bearable you pretend it's the first time you got Wriothesley to go swimming with you. You had dip your toes in first, as a show that the water wouldn't bite. He wasn't scared of the water, and he knew how to swim; he wasn't ashamed of the scars on his body either. No, he refused to go swimming back then because he didn't want to freeze, and it took you and the trust he placed in your word to tell him the water was perfect.

So, you repeat that same action, imagining Wriothesley is right beside you like that day years ago.

From the water pod, your husband watches frozen as you vanish in an instant, continuing to watch as the water rises until it's above the height of the glass. In that single moment, most of the warmth in his heart vanishes along with you.

"You promised you'd be safe... I trusted you..."

It was the first and last time any prisoner would see the almighty Wriothesley cry out, for he swore sometime later that he'd close off his heart and never let anyone get as close as you did. He knows deep down that's not what you'd want, but he knew he could never go through the same pain again and still continue to live.

———

Zhongli, who you were fighting side by side with.

It's always been like that, you and him up in arms against the world. It was like that in the Archon War, in the Cataclysm and any other time someone threatened the safety of the Lord of Geo's territory. You had his back and he had yours, something that only grew stronger as your relationship developed from war buddies to friends then finally to lovers.

It was... naive of you both to think that you'd be able to spend eternity together without issue. You were too blinded by the fact that you were both going to withstand time and he believed that there was no way he'd fail to protect you, not with the strength he possessed.

Your downfall was not due to time or a lack of strength, but rather your own desire to keep the man you love safe from harm.

Zhongli did not see the sword pierce your skin, but he did hear the strangled cry you let out. He felt the fear wash over him, he saw the bloody aftermath as you fell forward into him, no longer able to hold yourself upright.

Instinctively he wraps his arms around you, sinking to the grass with you. Crimson stains his hands and clothes fast as if the wound was his own and he knows right then that your time together is limited.

The pain you feel is searing and with each breath you take you're fighting to keep that air in your lungs long enough to get more. Your husband spoke softly as he stroked your shoulder, "Why did you take the hit for me?"

When you looked up into his warm, amber eyes you knew then that this was the last time he'd hold you, the last time you'd speak with one another. How interesting it is that you both realized at different points that this was the end.

"You..." you cough, body trembling in his hold and Zhongli almost regrets asking you to speak. He just wants to make you comfortable in your last moments, to act as if everything is okay. "You... were going to get hurt."

The man you knew to never weep lets a single tear slide down his face, a light chuckle getting stuck in his throat, "ah, how like you to put me above yourself. I'm the same way with you, so I suppose I can't point fingers, now can I?"

“No… you can’t,” you smile back, but it’s tough to force it through the pain. You cough again and this time a little blood comes up as well.

It’s getting harder and harder to breathe as the seconds tick by. “Morax.”

The former Archon stiffens; you rarely ever call him by his real name unless you're serious about something. "Yes, my dear? What is it?" When he sees you trying to lift your hand to his cheek, Zhongli dips his head, placing his own hand over yours.

Glazed eyes watch as you swallow, stuttering on your own breath, "I'm... I'm very proud of the man you've become compared to the Archon I first met. I'm very proud of the things you've done for Liyue, and I'm grateful for the things you've done for me."

Your eyes droop a little, and he knows your time to depart is near when he sees you rest your head against him more and with the way he has to hold up your hand for it to stay resting on his cheek. He swears he won't let you slip away until you've said your final peace.

"I... I need you to promise me something Morax."

"You know I will always do my best to honour your wishes," he tells you, his grip tightening on your hand. A sudden breeze picks up, blowing his hair in such an elegant way that your face softens, never not amazed by his beauty. Tranquillity washes over you, and it may sound crazy, but the scent the wind brought to you smelt like home, like a simpler time in your life.

All other sounds are drowned out, the wind blowing them far away so he could hear you clearly, "You have to find happiness again... even though I won't be there for you. Can... can you promise me that?"

He pulls you impossibly closer, removing your hand just to place a gentle kiss on your palm before returning it to its place, "I promise." In that moment he feels like he's lied to you, for he believes he'll never truly recover from your death, but that doesn't mean he won't try for you. And as you smile up at him for the last time, Morax feels that he could live with his answer to you.

Much like his friends of old, he knows he'll see you in the little things around the city - a lantern, a blooming flower, a cup of tea, the fires in fireplaces - as if you're watching over him. He'll continue to walk forward as everything passes him by, mingling with the ever-changing people and culture and surrounding himself with friends, because that's what he promised you, and he wants you to see that even when you're not by his side to experience it yourself.

"I'm happy now, see? But I will never be as happy as I was with you"

Tag list (both regular and event exclusive): @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @kaeyaloml // @x-zho // @mariposa666haruka // @quackquackmfs // @kunikuzushiii // @genshin-impact-writings // @ventisweetheart // @lordbugs @leena-shi // @ari-the-wr1ter // @xiaos-wife // @milkwithspiceyicecubes // @stygianoir // @francisnyx

@kaiserkisser // @multipleshadesofblue // @moloteco-real // @kithewanderingme // @scaramood

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walpu · 2 months

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hey, hey, I don't know how many times I've read your post "pre-relationship" especially aventurine part (omg i love how you write abt him 😭). I wonder how it will be once they are in a relationship and the kissing part please :3 thank u and have a nice day!

THANK YOUUUUU

Hope you'll enjoy this post too💛💛💛

being in a relationship with Aventurine

characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort (do I even write something other that hurt/comfort for him lmao), no beta

can be seen as a part 2 of this post but it can stan on it's own as well

Aventurine

It would take quite some time for Aventurine to move from the pre-relationship stage with you. Will dance around the subject, throwing hints and flirty remarks but as for making an actual move? Oof.

Would cling to your side and shamelessly say something like "aww, can't get enough of me? people may think we're dating <З unless that's what you want them to think haha"

Pathetic. /affectionally.

But seriously, he really wants to be sure that you like him before making a move. That you like him, not his money, not the idea of him. At least that's what he tells himself. And while this is part of the reason, the actual thing is that he's simply... confused. He's already more vulnerable around you than he ever was around anyone else. And dating means being even more vulnerable.

While he yearns for this genuine connection he's also a scared of it. Tim Kreider wrote the line "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known" about him actually. Source: trust me bro.

It would take some time for him to get used to being in relationship. In the previous post I've mentioned that he, most likely, had some short flings in the past. I seriously doubt that he ever had any serious relationship before you though. It's so new to him. At first it would seem like nothing has changed between the two of you at all. Surprisingly, it looks like he even became a bit more distant.

Aventurine doesn't want to attract any unwanted attention to your relationship since it will only endanger you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm you. Plus he doesn't want to overwhelm himself. Plus he is scared shitless.

He can't help but feel that he looses everything he holds dear. After all, it's been like that for all of his life. And he simply can't loose you.

Mini spoiler for his leaked character story, but there is a moment there when he looks at the aventurine stone Diamond gave him and he realizes that despite the fact that he worked so hard for it, now that he has it, it holds no real value since it doesn't fill the emptiness inside of him. Logically, he knows that this won't happen with you. He loves you too much. But there's this subconscious fear inside of him that he's just so messed up inside that he simply would not be able to love you like you deserve.

Be patient with him, this mans doesn't know what he's doing. Don't give up on him and he'll crawl to your side, holding onto you for dear life.

Once he will calm down a bit, he'll make it up for all those times when you were the one reaching out to him. Texts you, calls you, arranges spontaneous dates.

In the beginning of relationship would spoil you with expensive gifts. He knows what it's like to have nothing so he doesn't want you to ever feel this way. And the best way to prevent it? To make sure that you will have anything and everything. Maybe it's a subconscious way to bribe you. Maybe. Not like he realizes it himself.

Once he'll feel more stable and more confident, his gift giving tendencies will get less overwhelming. He still like giving you gifts but now he picks and chooses. His sugar darling deserves only the best, after all.

Acts all clingy, playful and unserious but actually listens to your every word and is ready to fulfil your every need.

Is actually very caring. Shows his care by pestering you and easing you tho.

If you feel down, will sit stay by your side. May randomly start tickling you, if you're ticklish. If not, will find another way to touch you in a playful and somewhat annoying way. After you cheer up a bit, Aven will put his chin on your shoulder and hugs your waist, softly asking what happen and why is his dearest darling seems sad.

As for kisses. Aven will loooove covering your face with butterfly kisses. And not only your face. Will randomly grab your hand and kiss your knuckles and fingertips. If you've made a mistake of exposing your shoulder then be ready for it to be kissed endlessly.

Adores kissing those parts of your body that are usually covered with clothes. It feels fore intimate for him.

And if you have freckles or/and beauty marks. Oh well. Will trace them with his fingertips, connecting them with some invisible lines and sometimes gasp playfully, saying that he found his constellation. Just a silly little guy being a silly little guy.

So touch-starved it's unreal.

Has very mixed feeling about his tattoo being kissed. Would feel... weirs if you would kiss it during your casual cuddling session. He exposes it for the world to see, yes. But still, when it attracts attention of someone who knows the meaning behind it... Makes him a bit tense, it catches him off-guard. However, if you kiss it after a lovemaking session or when he shares some painful memories with you, he will feel reassured.

Will slowly start crawling out of his shell when he's with you. Before he only shared some brief memories of his past with you, now he'll start slowly opening up about other, much more painful stuff.

It still happens randomly and out of the blue. He remembers something, he tenses up. But now, instead of repressing this feelings, he shares them with you.

Don't push him too talk, he'll slowly open up on his own.

Loves waking up next to you. Especially if you're still asleep. Seeing the sun shining on your face fills him with love and tenderness. Only with you by his side he feels truly safe.

#one day i'll learn to control my word vomit and my post'll stop being so fuckass long #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #aventurine x reader #aventurine #walp's writing #reader insert

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suzukiblu · 7 months

Text

Excerpt from the one where Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it.

(The read-more is definitely necessary, length-wise. I . . . got very into this idea and frankly this is barely a third of it so far, lol.)

"So, uh . . ." Kon says, skeptically eyeing the softly glowing rock in his hand. Metallo, like, threw it at his head. He has no idea why. "Is this supposed to do something or . . . ?"

"It's pink," Kara says leerily, staying very firmly back. Like, unexpectedly far back, in fact.

"Yeah, I'm not actually blind, thanks," Kon says, turning the rock over and squinting at it. It continues not to do anything, aside from the glowing thing.

"No, it's pink kryptonite," she stresses.

". . . it literally doesn't hurt at all, though?" Kon says. Though he probably should've figured it was some kind of kryptonite, given that Metallo had it and had apparently thought he could hurt him with it.

Seriously, though, his gloves are fingerless and he's got it right in his hand. It should be hurting him, if it's actually kryptonite.

"Pink kryptonite doesn't work like that," Kara says, edging a little farther back. They're floating a few hundred feet in the air right now, but from the way she's acting Kon's vaguely concerned that he might be about to explode or something. "It just affects our sexual . . . urges."

"Oh," Kon says, frowning in confusion. Weird, but . . . "Is that all?"

"I don't mean like it makes you horny, Kon, I mean like it makes you homosexual," Kara hisses, looking mortified. "And don't ask how I know, alright?!"

Kon . . . blinks.

"What the literal fuck?" he asks incredulously, just staring at her. "How does that even–are you telling me Metallo went and chucked gay kryptonite at me in the middle of a fight?"

"Yes!" Kara says, still clearly mortified. "So just–just stay over there with it until somebody shows up with a lead box, okay?! The effects will stop after we get it contained."

"Alright, alright. So then do you think the dude was flirting with me or is he just a fucking idiot?" Kon jokes, balancing the kryptonite on his index finger with his TTK. "Although I really don't think he'd be my type either way. Like, nothing against cyborgs in general, obviously, just the whole thing with him being a murderous supervillain who literally runs on kryptonite seems like it'd make us totally star-crossed. I want somebody I can actually commit to, you know?"

"Sure," Kara says, still eyeing the kryptonite with serious trepidation. It's really not helping Kon feel less like a time bomb, to be honest. Is there like some other side effect that he should be worrying about right now or something? Like, is he missing something here?

"You seem kinda high-strung about this," he observes, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Look, you'd have avoided it too if you'd dealt with it before!" she says protestingly. "So stay over there and definitely keep it away from Kal, I don't know if Jimmy ever really recovered from the last time."

"Oh, well, congrats to Jimmy, I guess," Kon says, since he can't really see a downside to scoring a one-night stand with Superman. Like, a downside for somebody who isn't literally his clone, he means. The clone thing would definitely make it weird.

Just it's also Clark, though, so he'd probably be the generous type in bed. Like, the sort to really take care of somebody. Be as gentle as happened to be appropriate but also be down if his partner maybe wanted it a little rough for whatever reason. And he'd definitely be able to go all night. Again, Kon isn't gonna go there himself, it really would be too weird, but he can make a logical conclusion. Extrapolate one. Whatever.

Then again he'd be down with Power Girl absolutely destroying him whenever the fuck she wanted to and she's genetically his . . . some form of cousin or something, he guesses. His half-cousin from another reality. So really, Clark's not even that weird an option. And like, all appearances aside Kon's a binary clone anyway, not even a one-for-one match, sooooo . . .

Actually it's probably weirder that he thinks Power Girl is so unspeakably hot but comparatively Kara is just . . . fine? Like, that's a little odd, isn't it?

Maybe it's an attitude thing. Or the costume.

Might be safe to blame the costume, yeah.

It's just such a good costume. Like, Kon aspires to reach that level of costume.

But really, all that aside he still doesn't even know what the big deal about temporarily going gay is, although to be fair he's also currently talking to Supergirl and not, like . . . literally any dude whatsoever. So like, who knows how weird this stuff might actually make him under those circumstances. Maybe it like fucks with inhibitions and stuff too?

Yeah, hell if he knows. He's really only dealt with green kryptonite before. He was vaguely aware that other colors existed and apparently did different stuff, but . . . this just seems very different, put it that way.

Maybe best to avoid Jimmy Olsen for a little while, Kon decides privately. The guy probably doesn't need that.

Besides, Clark apparently got there first anyway and Kon just really doesn't want to be worrying about measuring up. Miss him with that, thanks.

. . . although maybe he'll go visit Tim later.

Eh, no, Kara made it sound like the pink K's gonna stop affecting him pretty quick once they box it up, so not much point in bothering. Though maybe he'll visit just to hang, come to think of it; they haven't seen each other in almost a whole week. Well, he hasn't seen Tim, at least–who knows how much Bat-surveillance Tim's seen him through.

Kon should maybe sweep his room for bugs again. Note to self.

Although would it be weird to just like . . . keep the pink kryptonite, maybe? Since it apparently doesn't actually hurt anyone or anything? Because that could be, well . . . just interesting, that's all. Like, Kon is open to exploring that experience. Just–as an experience.

"Actually, you're surprisingly not high-strung about this," Kara says.

"Am I?" Kon asks. "I mean, it's not that big a deal, is it?"

She stares at him.

"Kon," she says slowly. "Pink kryptonite affects your sexuality. It makes you attracted to people you're not normally attracted to. It confuses you and everyone around you and it is really freaking embarrassing to explain afterwards."

"I've been mind-controlled into shaving my head and breaking my best friend's arm," Kon says, continuing to not really see what the big deal is. "That was embarrassing. And fucking traumatic. This? This is just kinda weird."

"Only kinda?" Kara asks incredulously. "You're one of the straightest guys I know! How are you just fine with this?!"

"I mean to be fair, that's probably making some unfair generalizations about straight guys," Kon points out. Kara stares at him. "What?"

"I don't even know how to respond to that," she says.

"Sorry?" Kon says, then tucks the pink kryptonite into his jacket pocket with a shrug. He's not trying to hide it or anything; just getting kinda sick of holding it. And it's that or he either ditches it somewhere or starts tossing it around and that'd probably be . . . just, well, absolutely epically stupid of him.

Or it seems like it would be, anyway. Whatever color it is, it's still kryptonite.

"I mentioned keeping that away from Kal, right?" Kara says.

"Yeah, on that note, are they like . . . done down there yet?" Kon asks, glancing down towards the mess of the street that Clark's standing on a few hundred feet below with a whole bunch of randos from S.T.A.R. Labs, for some reason. Somebody mentioned something about neutralizing Metallo's kryptonite heart without actually killing him, but mostly it was science talk and clearly theoretical anyway so to be honest Kon'd kinda tuned it all out as "not currently relevant", and that's all he knows.

"Definitely not," Kara says.

"I'm gonna call Robin while we're killing time, then," Kon says, pulling out his phone.

"You're going to call your closest male friend," Kara says. "Right now. While you've got pink kryptonite in your pocket."

"Yup," Kon says, already pulling up Tim's contact.

"Can you not see how that might be a bad idea at the moment?" Kara asks. "Not in any way whatsoever?"

"Well I'm not calling Impulse," Kon replies reasonably. Kara stares at him again, for some reason.

Eh, whatever.

He calls Tim.

"Hey, Conner, what's up?" Tim answers distractedly, which Kon doesn't hold against him because when isn't Tim distracted, really. Dude's got too much going on in that head of his, for real. He's just glad the guy ever picks up the phone at all.

"So apparently I'm gay right now," Kon greets conversationally, figuring he should lead with that just in case he actually is about to do something embarrassing to explain. "Pink kryptonite is fucking weird, man."

". . . uh," Tim says as Kara covers her face with her hands. "What?"

"Pink kryptonite makes you gay, Kara says," Kon says. "And we're both just kind of chilling above downtown Metropolis waiting for Kal to finish up with the science-y people so we can get said pink K locked up, so I'm bored out of my mind right now and calling you to complain about it."

"You're calling me," Tim says slowly. "While you're . . . gay."

"What, is he asking to come over?" another voice asks from the phone, sounding amused. It takes Kon a second to recognize it, but–oh yeah, that's the mysterious Bernard, isn't it?

Right, Tim has a boyfriend now. Kon's never actually met him on account of being the worst at secret identities and the whole thing that is Bernard living very firmly in Gotham, land of "no metas allowed unless you're either a supervillain or Batman's too dead to stop you", but he's heard him over the phone a couple times now, although they've never actually personally talked. So maybe thinking about Tim while being high on pink kryptonite isn't actually, like, kosher? Or polite. Or whatever.

. . . then again, Bernard did ask.

"I don't know, maybe?" Kon says thoughtfully, considering the idea. "Are you open to me coming over?"

"Yes," Bernard says.

"Bernard," Tim says.

"Babe, I know we're pretending I don't know you're an ass-kicking vigilante and all but come on, don't make me turn down Superboy," Bernard says wryly.

"We're–wait, pretending?!" Tim sputters.

"Pretending so, so hard," Bernard confirms, sounding nothing but fond. Kon's actually a little jealous of that tone of voice, he's gotta admit. Like–it's been a bit since anybody's talked to him that way, is all. "But like, if you actually thought you were being subtle maybe you shouldn't talk about kryptonite on the phone right in front of me or put themed emojis next to all your superfriends' civilian names in your contacts list?"

"Oh my god, you do that?!" Kon asks with a gleeful cackle, immediately forgetting everything else in favor of that absolutely delightful piece of information. "You're the worst! Batman just rolled over in his grave and Oracle is absolutely losing her shit on the other end of her wiretap!"

"B's not even dead right now," Tim says in exasperation. "And if O cared she'd have already hacked my phone and changed them. And for the record plenty of people put random superhero emojis next to their friends' names, that's a totally normal thing to do!"

"Usually the random superhero emojis aren't associated with contact pics that are dead fucking ringers for said superheroes," Bernard says, sounding amused again. "Just as a thing and all."

". . . anyway so you're gay today, how's that going for you, Conner?" Tim says as Bernard laughs gleefully in the background. "Triggering any unfortunate mental health crisises or anything? Making you worry about the validity of your masculinity? Because I can safely assure you that's all bullshit and you're fine."

"Naw, I know all that, being gay is just a thing," Kon says with a shrug. "Kara's being a little weird about it but honestly it's going way better than, like, the times supervillains mind-controlled me into being into them. Like just as an overall experience, I mean."

"Wait, how many times has that come up?" Tim asks in bemusement.

"I dunno?" Kon shrugs again. "I mean you were there for the Poison Ivy incident, and then Gorgeous Gilly happened to me a while later, which was, uh, genuinely horrifying because she tried to literally marry me during all that, so . . . I think just the twice, probably? But don't quote me on that, I don't even remember what I had for breakfast."

"And how is Kara being weird, exactly?" Tim says in his very unsubtle "assessing my teammate's psychological condition" voice.

"Oh, she's mostly just avoiding me?" Kon says, as a guy who's personally not really all that concerned with his psychological condition at the moment. "Because I've got the rock in my pocket on account of not wanting to just leave it lying around somewhere and she doesn't want to get affected by it. I don't know why, I don't really get why it matters."

"I mean it matters, definitely," Bernard says. "Like it very strongly matters to a lot of people."

"Fair, but I think we're all too invulnerable to really have to worry about getting gay-bashed or anything," Kon reasons. "Like, at least not as a heat of the moment thing."

". . . god can you imagine the world we would live in if every piece of shit gay-basher had to deal with the consequences of punching fucking Superman?" Bernard says feelingly. "For real."

"Oh, pink K's temporary," Kon clarifies. "Kal's not gay anymore."

"Hold up, I'm sorry, are you saying that at some point he was?" Bernard demands in obvious delight. "Is that what you're telling me right now?"

"I guess he was into redheads?" Kon says, tilting his head. "Slightly twinky redheads, specifically. Which I don't blame him for, I'm gonna be honest."

"Well now I know that forever, thanks," Tim says dryly.

"Alternate option: he could've been into Batman," Kon points out.

"Redheads it is," Tim says. "You just . . . redhead away over there."

"I mean I thought about it, kinda," Kon admits.

"Ngh," Tim says, for some reason.

"No thinking about Batman, though?" Bernard asks with a snicker.

"Not so much," Kon says, making a face. "Did consider having some Superman thoughts but I'm apparently not that narcissistic, surprisingly enough."

"Kon!" Kara chokes.

"Tell me you've never considered having Superman thoughts and I'll tell you you're a fucking liar," Kon snorts, shooting her a dry look. "Weren't you like totally naked when you first showed up on Earth? And then he found you like that and wrapped you up in his cape all nice and gentlemanly and took you home with him?"

"He is my baby cousin and you're being affected by pink kryptonite poisoning!" Kara accuses, her face bright red.

"Wait, is it actually poisoning me?" Kon says with a frown. "I feel like you should've led with it actually poisoning me, if that's actually a thing."

"Well no, not actually, it's physically harmless," Kara says grudgingly, folding her arms. "But you're still being affected! You're having Superman thoughts, of all things!"

"He just seems like he'd be considerate," Kon says reasonably. "Like, you know. Biblically."

"Ngh," Tim says, again for no apparent reason. Bernard sounds like he might be laughing. Or choking? Or maybe both; it's unclear.

"Please don't hit on Kal," Kara says. "Especially don't hit on Kal with pink kryptonite in your pocket. I don't want to know how that situation would end up."

"Ideally with him being considerate," Kon says. Tim chokes. Kara covers her face again.

"Does pink kryptonite affect your inhibitions too or are you just always like this?" Bernard asks curiously.

"Eh, pretty sure I'm just always like this, going by the things I've definitely still not been forgiven for saying to Power Girl," Kon says, idly tapping a finger against the side of his phone case. "Like, pretty damn sure at this point."

"That is unfortunately accurate," Tim agrees resignedly.

"So you're saying it is ethically okay to have Superboy over while he's gay," Bernard says in a promisingly speculative tone. Kon grins. Just a little, but yeah–definitely he grins. Kara grimaces, because she is absolutely no fun whatsoever.

Spoilsport.

"I did not in any way say that," Tim retorts dubiously.

"I mean that's what I heard, man, and I'm the one with super-hearing in this conversation," Kon says with a wider grin. "My inhibitions are all inhibited and my personal opinions of people are all the same, I'm just currently batting for the other team."

"So your normal opinion of me is that if you were gay, you'd come over," Tim says dryly.

"Yeah?" Kon says, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, obviously."

"How is that obvious?" Tim says.

"Because I already come over every time you let me," Kon reminds him.

"Oh yeah?" Bernard says slyly. "And how often does he let you come, exactly?"

"Not often enough," Kon replies honestly, and doesn't even bite at the obvious dumb sex joke Bernard so thoughtfully set up for him even though it is frankly painful not to.

"Ngh," Tim says. Kon continues not to understand the reason for him repeatedly making that same weird little noise, but whatever, he guesses. It's Tim, maybe he's stitching his own bullet wounds again or something. Guy's a multi-tasker like that.

"You know this would probably make for a fascinating case study about sexuality, actually," Bernard says musingly. "I mean, all I intend to do is abuse the situation to get into your very tight tights, but seriously, maybe we should all be taking notes or something."

"Ugh, hell no, Rob'll go full Bat if we let him do that," Kon snorts, then smirks. "He can take pictures, though, I know he's into that."

"Ngh," Tim says yet again, accompanied by a weird random "thump". If Kon didn't know better, he'd think he'd just fallen off a chair or something.

"Aw dammit, dude, I think I actually like you as a person now," Bernard says, sniggering. "Are you keeping the kryptonite? Please keep the kryptonite. Like, just for Valentine's and Tim's birthday, that's all I ask."

"Honestly don't know if Superman's gonna let me but I do kinda wanna," Kon admits. It seems pretty convenient, really. And definitely fun.

". . . and you're sure his inhibitions and opinions aren't being influenced in any way, Kara?" Tim asks suspiciously.

"He's really just like this, yeah," Kara says resignedly. "Well admittedly Kal spontaneously developed opinions on window treatments and used the word 'smashing' in cold blood when it happened to him, but that might've just been him sucking at flirting. Because he really does suck at flirting."

"What about when it was you?" Kon asks curiously.

"No one ever said it happened to me," Kara says.

"You kinda implied–"

"No one ever said it happened to me," Kara repeats, narrowing her eyes at him and doing an impressively bad job of acting like she's not blushing.

So it definitely happened to her, yeah.

"Okaaaaay, we'll pretend about that too then," Bernard says. "Well, what are your opinions on window treatments, Conner?"

"That I don't know what they are," Kon says.

"Sounds like he's in his right mind to me," Bernard says.

"He is absolutely not," Kara retorts dubiously.

"I really don't feel weird or anything, I swear," Kon tells her, since he still doesn't get the problem but also doesn't actually want to worry her either. "I don't even feel any different."

"Kon, you are hitting on your best friend and his boyfriend," Kara says. "Together. At once. Simultaneously, one might even say."

"You've met Wonder Girl and Arrowette before, right?" Kon says. "And both the Batgirls? And–"

"Oh my god, Kon," she cuts him off.

"Just saying," he says, then pauses for a moment and frowns consideringly. "Actually, question, how gay is this stuff making me, because while we're on the topic of threeways I kinda always wondered about what Starfire and Nightwing get up to together and if–"

"KON!" Kara yells, covering her ears.

"I'm just asking," he huffs.

"I don't know if it's actually possible to be gay enough to not be into Starfire," Bernard says musingly. "Like I can't imagine how it ever could be."

"Right?" Kon says.

"It's possible to not be into Starfire," Tim says. "Like, theoretically. Asexuals and aromantics both exist, for one."

"Do they?" Kon says doubtfully. "Like in general, sure, but when around specifically Starfire?"

". . . I can't technically prove you wrong due to a lack of reliable evidence but still," Tim says. "The possibility is there. If nothing else the multiverse is a thing."

"Last time I saw her she was wearing half a gold lamé bikini and I am not going to tell you which half or define how loosely I am using the term 'wearing'," Kon says.

"I said it's possible, not probable," Tim says.

"What about you, man, are you the gold lamé type?" Bernard asks with a teasing snicker. "Just while you're gay and all, of course. That's like, practically a cultural thing. Gotta be authentic to the experience, yeah?"

"That is in no way whatsoever a cultural thing, babe," Tim says dubiously.

"Please, like I've never worn freaking lamé," Kon scoffs. "I've worn collars and loincloths and leather and crop tops and enough unnecessary belts to tie up a Bat, lamé is nothing."

"Collars and . . . loincloths?" Bernard repeats, sounding confused.

"Yeah, this one time I crash-landed on a lost isle of beast-men and they kidnapped and enslaved me for a few months," Kon explains, waving a hand distractedly. "Frankly I count myself lucky they even let me have the collar, much less the loincloth."

". . . um," Bernard says.

"You, uh, never mentioned the collar part of that story before, Kon," Tim says, clearing his throat. "You very definitely never mentioned the collar part of that story before."

"Oh yeah, the prince kinda kept me as his pet for a little bit?" Kon tells him with an easy shrug. "Like he and all his buddies ganged up on me and then took me home with them, but I was kinda . . . feral, I guess? Technically? So like, collar and chain setup. But he was cool, he took real good care of me."

"Ngh," Tim says just barely faintly.

"Yeah you should definitely come over," Bernard says. "Tim, get the check. Conner, exactly how super is your super-speed?"

"You can just call me Kon," Kon says. "And . . . mach 3, last I clocked it?"

"Isn't that like two thousand miles per hour?" Bernard asks.

"Two thousand two hundred and twenty-three point three," Kon replies with a pleased smirk. "Faster than a speeding bullet. Or so they tell me."

"We'll just meet you at Tim's, how's that," Bernard says. "That work for you, Kon?"

"That works for me, Bernard," Kon confirms, smirking wider.

"Oh my god, Kon, you cannot possibly be serious right now," Kara says in exasperation, rubbing at her temples. "Just because you're temporarily gay doesn't mean you should do anything about it!"

"I mean, I'm feeling pretty serious?" Kon says, shrugging again. He still doesn't get why she's being so sensitive about this. "It's not like this is the weirdest thing I've ever done in pursuit of a good time. Like, holy hell, lemme tell you about the Ravers sometime."

"You're going to have to look Robin in the eye after this!" Kara says. "And work with him! And be a normal person in his presence! Normally!"

"I'm aware?" Kon says, vaguely bemused by her concern. Like he's never been normal around somebody he's slept with before, geez. "Tell Kal I ran off with the pink K, if he wants to lock it up in the Fortress or wherever I can bring it back tomorrow."

"Maybe Monday," Bernard says.

"Or maybe Monday," Kon amends.

"It's Thursday!" Kara sputters.

"So it's a long weekend," Bernard says.

"I'm not explaining this to Kal," Kara says. "I'm not explaining this to Batman."

"I really don't see why you'd have to," Kon says. "Rob, you cool with the long weekend thing? Not too much of an imposition?"

". . . I got the check," Tim mutters in obvious and absolute mortification.

Kon's gonna take that as a "yes".

"Cool," he says, grinning broadly. "See you soon, Boy Wonder."

He ends the call. Kara drags her hands down her face and continues to stay very far away from him and the pink kryptonite in his pocket.

"When you go back to normal and freak out and make everything weird with Robin and your team and even Robin's literal boyfriend, I'm going to say so many 'I told you so's," she swears vehemently. "So don't say I didn't warn you."

"Your objection is on the record," Kon says, then tosses her a lazy salute with another grin and takes off, kryptonite and all.

Best to just scarper while Clark's distracted, yeah?

Definitely best.

#kon el #tim drake #bernard dowd #timberkon #timkon #timber #superboy #dc robin #rinfic #wip: think pink

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serialunaliver · 3 months

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dumb question but how does one help someone with psychosis? Like I know you said that telling someone "it's not real, it won't hurt you" type of talking wouldn't help. So what would? /gen

treat the delusion "neutrally" - don't outright deny it exists or accept it exists. ask the person things like "how did you conclude that?" or "have you found evidence?" etc. to gain insight on what they're afraid of. in the context of the delusion, make the situation less scary by using logic you'd lose if you believed what the other person was. ask things such as "if we do X or cover Y would we be safer?" ultimately gain as much insight on the person's fears as you can without appearing untrustworthy or hostile by denying everything.I was doing badly yesterday and today I see texts I send my stepdad asking him to check the news for alerts that didn't exist. he 'checked' and confirmed there weren't any and this calmed me down a little. also if you can, lead the person to an environment where they're less likely to cause harm and where they can be calmer. usually my parents have me go in my room with the shades rolled down. we also have some cameras outside and I can see the footage. also it's good for other trusted friends or family members to know in case you aren't available. sometimes a neighbor will check on me if i'm home alone. I don't know how much this helps but it's just what my family learned to do...and it's better for loved ones to help than institutionalization or law enforcement involvement (has happened to me before, extremely traumatizing).

ultimately this is not a fun situation for anyone to be in and every person is different. but one important thing to remember is that it's possible for someone in a psychotic state to view others with suspicion and if you're targeted as part of a delusion the person doesn't *actually* hate you, they are just not experiencing the world around them as "normal".

#seriousposting

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somerandomdudelmao · 10 months

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So, Casey's a turtle mutant, and he has obvious links to Leo (skin markings + color), some subtle links to Mikey (Shell design), and a very subtle link to Raph with his fangs.

I wonder though, how long did it take them to notice that he has fangs? And just how much did this…

Hurt to see?

Not to mention that the fangs could probably be written off as a link to Donnie, since spiny softshells bite pretty hard and Casey hasn't had physical contact with Raph's original body in about 10 years.

Raph sees the kid he was basically a dad to, as a turtle, with physical traits of his family, and almost no trace of himself. Casey doesn't remember him, and he resembles Leo more than anyone else. It hurts. But Casey and Leo are so happy, Raph can't ruin that. So he doesn't.

He shows annoyance/exhaustion at the unexpected mutation, and it's more directed towards his brother's tendency for scietific chaos that the actual mutation.

He also seems to avoid Casey until Draxum arrives and is able to "fix" Casey. Leo, Mikey, and Donnie all actively bond with Casey over being a turtle mutant. Raph barely shows up in this episode, and directly interacts with him even less, barely even paying attention when Leo throws Casey at him, and not even fully addressing Casey the whole episode (from what I remember).

Anyway, imagine Raph finding out Casey's mutation was never actually reversed and feeling a bit of pain because Casey wanted to stay a turtle mutant so he would always have a reminder of his family, and still not seeing much of any trace of himself.

Ok, now imagine Casey's fangs getting a bit too big and developing a snaggle tooth.

That's all ok byeee!!

Oooooouuuuh~ A little fact about Casey's mutation - originally, at some point I wanted to make him a snapping turtle instead of a red-eared slider. He had a spiky shell, little claws.... and a tail...also....like...Spiky lil tail....Yes. (Don't ask me why he had it while turtles don't. My concepts don't have logic~)

But then I thought it would be weird...where would he find that kind of dna? So, yeah... It's just the fangs. Maybe if I'm in the mood I'll come back to this topic haha~

Also, I want to add that even though Raph was the first one to adopt Casey, that doesn't make him the only real parent or smth. Leo literally raised that kid for ten years. He didn't take the title of father away from Raph. He joined it. And he was doing a good job of telling Casey about Raph. The only problem was that Leo could only talk about Raph from his own, brotherly point of view.

Casey grew up knowing what Raph was to Leo. And he was too young (and traumatized) to remember what Raph was to Casey.

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annabelle--cane · 7 months

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I guess the thing that makes me not so fond of Jon's addiction allegory is that it's only coherent to a certain extent? Like I think people sometimes forget that he's actively violating these people

anon, through no fault of your own you have accidentally hit upon my sleeper agent trigger phrase. I have layers of answers to this.

so first off, yeah, it's not a 1:1 direct metaphor, it's a soupy dream logic fantasy plot device with flavors of a lot of different things. there's quite a lot of addiction in there, there's some abuse of power, there's some cyclical nature of trauma, there's a dash of disability, there's a few notes of gendered violence, there's a good bit of just. violence violence and being kind of a motherfucker because goddammit it feels good to be an active agent about something in your life, even if it's just choosing to be a worse version of yourself than you strictly need to be. a lot of tma's worldbuilding is very allegorical, but apart from aspects of individual statements nothing really matches up quite 1:1 with a real world counterpart, and if more things did then it probably wouldn't be a fantasy show anymore.

secondly. okay to contextualize this answer a little bit I have a kind of hypothetical video essay project about vampirism and addiction that I like to spend a few hours thinking about every so often but am almost certainly never going to make because the full research burden required is a lot higher than I actually have the time to properly do. but because of that I've spent a lot of time sorting through why framing vampires as addicts really works for me in a way that it doesn't seem to for everyone, and I think a lot of my thoughts on that also apply to jon. there's going to be a bit of a detour here before we get back to talking about tma, but we'll get there, I prommy.

I've seen a lot of people take issue with various paranormal addiction allegories because, a lot of the time, the act that is meant to metaphorically represent the act of use itself is something that is directly and inherently harmful to others, e.g. drinking human blood, handing over power to your hedonistic Evil alter ego, holding the cursed amulet and going crazy going stupid, slurping trauma out of the head of some guy you ran into on a boat to norway, etc., and yeah, I do get that. substance use is not inherently harmful like that to anyone except sometimes the user themself, and addicts are not inherently fucked up and destructive people; those are dangerous stereotypes that often lead to the demonizing of a whole group of sick people.

here's the thing for me, though: those are definitely truths I want explored and represented when it comes to portrayals of non-allegorical actual addicts, but fantasy fiction isn't for showing the world as it is, it's for showing a subjective fun house mirror version of reality where certain aspects are minimized and magnified depending on how it feels to live through it. and yes, absolutely in real life drug use is not an inherently evil act and it does not make you an inherently evil person, but... doesn't it kind of feel like that? sort of? absolutely no one is living their best life nor on their best behavior while experiencing any kind of major mental illness episode, and when it comes to addiction you've got a very clear tangible symbol of when The Episode is happening that it feels like you have much more control over than when it comes to other illnesses. it's also a thing where people are a lot more likely to be openly angry and distrustful of you if they find out it's happening. so you mix together the ideas of "I know I get worse as a result of doing this one specific thing" + "I act less like myself when I'm using, it rearranges my priorities and I care less about hurting people because that's what happens when you're experiencing The Horrors" + "society at large/people directly around me are pretty quick to say that doing this is evil," and you get the subjective emotional result of "I hurt people by using and it makes me monstrous." I tend to respond to those kinds of paranormal allegories like they're just cutting out the middle man of those subjective fears. "using makes me monstrous" -> "using is monstrous."

anyway. jon archivist.

don't get me wrong, I totally understand if this aspect of metaphor doesn't gel for some people and they only like taking it exactly as far as the text explicitly makes them, but I really get a lot out of reading jon's connection to the fears as addiction precisely because he does genuinely awful things to people as a result of it. he's a person in a very bad physical and mental place with little to no support who is constantly being told by both allies and enemies that he's already a monster just by being alive, and he copes with that by secretly falling further and further into an compulsive act of consumption that skews his priorities and makes him care less about hurting people because at least sometimes getting to be the cause of pain makes him feel a little bit less powerless when he has to be the subject of pain the rest of the time. then he's found out and is made to stop, and he has to grapple not just with the physical toll of withdrawal but with knowing there is a not insignificant part of him that will excuse any act of malice if he knows he'll feel better afterwards.

the end of tma is very explicit in the fact that the rules of its world are shaped by the subjective worst fears of those who live in it, it's "an exercise in unreliably reality" as jonny sims put it once, and I think that principle extends backwards in some ways to apply to the rest of the show. I don't think the fact that there are only entities of fear and not hope or love is meant to be a full commentary on the total nature of the real world, it's a reflection of what fear and suffering can make the world feel like. eric and melanie both go to really harsh extremes to extricate themselves from the fears and live peaceful lives, and in both cases something happens that foils their plans (getting murdered + the apocalypse, respectively), but I don't think the intended message is to say that is definitively how real life works, they are metaphors for the limits of individual agency in larger systems and represent two types of worst-case-scenarios. similarly, I don't think reading jon as an addict implies that addiction inherently involves violence or that the reactions of those around him were completely unjustified, it's just a subjective exploration of the kinds of fears that can come with addiction dialed up to 100.

#also to be clear after the first paragraph I'm using 'you' in a general sense not directly to You The Anon Who Sent This #I'm not trying to insinuate anything about whether You The Anon Who Sent This does or doesn't have any experience w substance use #tma #answered #anons

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adventuringblind · 1 month

Text

Band-Aids are for Speed

Lando Norris x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Street Racer AU

Summary: The five times she patched Lando up, and the one time he patched up her.

Warnings: Injury descriptions, broken bones, cuts, bruises, blood, illigal street racing, car accidents

Notes: Author is not a doctor but has watched medical dramas... don't judge my knowledge!

Side Note: I hope le requester enjoys this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

The first time she met Lando, he was siting in the emergency room waiting to be stitched up. She quietly hums to herself while setting up as the other nurse changes places with her.

The deep gash on his arm makes her wonder what he did to get it, but she also knows better then to ask. He doesn't look like he's in the mood to talk anyway.

It takes approximately three minutes for her to retract that statement. "So, you come here often?"

The question takes her so of guard that she doesn't know what to do with it aside from take the next few seconds to process. Is it not obvious that she works here?

"Do you mean the hospital? Or in this room specifically?" She laughs lightly at the ridiculousness of her patient and blames the minor blood loss.

"Nah, I mean in my presence." He smirks.

She tries to focus on her work. "Can't say I have."

"Would you like to be in it more?"

He gives her his number before he leaves. He dots the 'i' in his name with a heart.

She texts him the second she gets him to ask if he's bless her with his presence again.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

In the few months they've been seeing each other she's learned that Lando is obsessed with cars. It's cute when he jumps into excited rants about his favorite subject.

With the amount they've been talking, it's not shocking that Lando texts her in the evening. She assumes it'll be another silly joke. Instead she's met with frenzied sentences and misspelled words about need medical attention.

She doesn't hesitate to drive to his place. In hindsight, she really should've asked him why he didn't go to A&E when he's bleeding all over the bathroom floor.

"Please tell me you didn't get jumped." She kneels down and sets about getting him a position where she can see what she's doing.

He groans in pain as she moves him. "Nope! It was spectacular though."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I crashed the car but still won." He lets out a triumphant hoot.

This man can never give her all the details at one. "You got in a car accident?! How is that winning?!"

"Because I won the money... duh." He's definitely delirious now. Probably has a concussion. "Oh, I didn't tell you? I street race."

There's that strange part of her that is intrigued and curious to know more, specifically because that adds to his sex appeal (like he wasn't hot enough already). The logical side of her brain that is currently staring at Lando bleeding says otherwise. "Uh, no... you didn't."

"Well isn't that unfortunate! You coulda seen me crash today if you had."

Lando is half asleep by the time she is done. She's barely able to wrangle him into bed with how uncoordinated he is. It's useless keeping him awake.

She turns the lights off and is about to leave - "Will you stay?"

"I can, yeah, do you want me on the couch or is there another bedroom?"

"In bed with me. You can stay here - with me."

Against her better judgment, she does.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

She doesn't usually work the weekend shift but one of the nurses is on vacation and she could us the extra hours. She leaves her phone on vibrate in her pocket in case of a 'family emergency.'

Said emergency being Lando who is more accident prone on the weekends. Somehow, less accident prone in the car and more when he's doing normal people tasks.

Sometimes she wonders if her gets hurt on purpose just so he has an excuse to see her. She keeps telling him he doesn't need one - just in case - but he still calls and she goes. It's not like she has much else to do with her time aside.

She really shouldn't be shocked when he ends up in emergency clutching his arm. He gives her a bashful smile and tries to awkwardly wave. "Hi."

"And what, my love, are you in for this time?"

"I slipped on the stairs..."

Another male, a tall brunette who she knows as George, hits him playfully on the head. "No he did not! This idiot decided it would be a brilliant idea to tie a skateboard to the back of Alex's car and sit on it while Alex drove."

She throws a stern look at Lando and his smile goes from bashful to downright embarrassed. "You're lucky it's just you're arm."

By the time he's set free into the world to make more impulsive decisions, she makes the executive decision to make him wait until she's done working. He puts a pout on his lips, but it goes away when she sends him to the cafeteria.

They drive home listening to the indie station. The one he's made her fall in love with.

"Thank you, again."

"You've got to stop thanking me, Lan. It is literally my job." She laughs a little at herself for that one.

"Yeah, but, that's not all. You're the only person who doesn't freak out on me for doing stupid shit. Like I know I shouldn't do it but it gives me that adrenaline that racing does." The sincerity in his voice nearly takes her off guard.

"I can't tell what to do, but I'll always be there when you need a patch job."

"And I'll be there when you need a ride." He winks.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

The first time she's at one of Lando's races, she can feel the thrumming in her heart. The excitement of the start and the fear that he could possibly die doing this.

He jogs over to her right before the start. His hands clumsily find her waist and he smash his lips on hers. "For good luck." He whispers as he pulls away.

She doesn't let go, however. She pulls a band aide out of her pocket and sticks it to his hand. It's a crayon, but she highly doubts he'll care to much.

"What's this for?"

"I had a little girl today who told me that Band-Aids give you speed. I thought you might try it."

"When I win, it'll be all because of you."

Lando does win. She buys more Band-Aids with some of the prize money.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

She's there when the crash happens. The boys had deemed her the official medical personnel. Which she's glad for, since they are the ones getting her to the crash site. In record time - it has to be - she's sure she's never gone this fast before.

She dives out of the back of the truck to the driver side door. Lando sits there, a few visible cuts, but he's smiling at her. She has half a mind to give the boy an earful, but refrains since he did just crash.

It takes her, Alex, and George to get him out of the car and into the truck. She stitches him up before they go home. In her car, mind you, since the one Lando drove is out of order.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be - just - please remember that I can't fix every kind of injury."

They curl up in bed together. The long night having drained them both of their energy.

"Maybe, but at least my odds of surviving until my thirties have gone up with you around."

"At this rate, you're more likely to die doing dishes then driving."

"That was one time!"

♡♡♡♡♡♡

It wasn't supposed to be this way. She was supposed to go home, not end up back at her job.

Granted, she's here for a different reason now. One that's not her fault and she's pissed about it. She's going to explode with emotions. Her body hurts so much.

Fucking drunk drivers. Who gave them the right to say it's her fault? Telling her she's lucky it wasn't worse.

A soft knock at the door draws her attention. Lando stands there look mildly disheveled. Still, he has his hands on his hips and rolls his eyes. "Whatever am I going to do with you, my love? Always getting into accidents!"

He comes to lay beside her on the bed and she wiggles to make accommodate him. He pulls out a box of bandages from his pocket and proceeds to put them everywhere she has a new mark.

The stress of it all finally breaks through. She sobs into his shoulder and clings to his sweatshirt. "Thank you."

"Hey, none of that. I owe you for all the Band-Aids you've used on me and all those times you've patched me up."

"Does this mean I can drive your car now? Since I have extra speed?"

Lando raises his eyebrows. "Maybe not drive, but I can think of other things we can do with speed." He wiggles said eyebrows suggestively.

"How about, a speedy recovery? You have plenty of those."

"Alright fine, a speedy recovery - and I'll be here for all of it with a plethora of crayon Band-Aids because I bought them all just for you."

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catscidr · 6 days

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I come with more brain rot that occurred to me during my shift.

Xiao being so so nervous to hold your hand with his gloves off. Please kiss the emos hands. He's so scared he's gonna hurt you, but he also wants to make you happy. I personally thing he has sharper canines so the look like fangs, kisses when he mentions them are maditory. He might Telenor away the first few times but after that he might pick up and try and get more kisses.

Scaramouche doesn't know how to complement people. His Kazuha voice line is proof of that. He will try so hard, bur they just come out so wrong. Please teach him how, or ask Nahida to help him. He does love you he's just gotta figure out how to say it.

sharper canines Yes but also xiao with longer and sharper nails…. xiao-with-more-birdlike-design-characteristics my beloved ueueghghh..... anyways moving on

start by taking off his gauntlets first n then kiss his gloved hands to get him used to it! help him get less nervous about handling you by doing small things like that, interlocking your fingers together (still without the gauntlet) and, when he’s finally almost to the point where he’s comfortable ditching his gloves, suggest wearing his gloves in his stead!

there’s still going to be a barrier between your skin and his, so, using his logic, it should be fine! plus the added intimacy points because you’re wearing his gloves….. they might not quite fit but it’s the thought that counts anyways

ooh and when he gives you the green light to hold hands without any gloves… give him so many smooches he’ll forget why he was nervous in the first place ♡ and it opens up a whole buncha new things you can do together! like now you can do each other’s nails! (or just his, if you’re not the biggest fan of manicures)— either way, he’ll still come to you to file his talons nails

he could do it himself by either using the nail file you got him, or by going out to clear some monster camps without the help of his spear, but he prefers the gentle way you handle him instead ♡

scaramouche my beloved. my awkward, maladroit, clumsy, beloved. he knows what he wants to say, and he's so sure of himself that he can say it, but as soon as he opens his mouth it’s like he just…. short circuits.

it's something he never wants to admit, but when he notices that you stopped smiling as much as before when he started... trying to compliment you? because he just ends up confusing you, and eventually frustrating you with the strange "insults" he ends up throwing your way? he can't stand it

but you catch on easily (because he's easy to read once you get used to his attitude), and gradually just play up the act of being hurt whenever he tries to compliment you

he eventually drags his feet to nahida for help, but she already knows why he's scoffing more than usual because you went to her for advice. but she still helps him and pretends she doesn't know why he's asking her "how to compliment people without making their smile droop immediately"; and when he goes to use his newfound skills, you beat him to the punch by complimenting him instead

needless to say, he knows how to compliment you now ( ͡º ꒳ ͡º) will he do it? ehhh, give him some time and eventually he will ♡

#ooh to hold them gently n give them a gentle forehead kiss before watching them flush from the attention ahhHH #i wanna smooch them saur bad ueueue my boys.....#thank u once again krow for the good brainrot #m gonna hop on genshin and stare at scara n xiao for an hour now #୧ ‧₊˚orderup!#genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fluff #genshin fluff #genshin x you #scaramouche x reader #xiao x reader #wanderer x reader #xiao fluff #scaramouche fluff #wanderer fluff

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linawritestwst · 7 months

Text

him taking care of you + you taking care of him (gn!reader)

(divider link)

characters: riddle rosehearts, ruggie bucchi, jamil viper, epel felmier, lilia vanrouge, silver, neige leblanche, rollo flamme.

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

hi hi!! so, uh, yeah, i'm trying to write something for this blog again. i don't think i'll open my requests anytime soon tbh, i kinda want to focus on writing self-indulgent stuff rn.

so yeah, hope you enjoy these! <3 i've tried to make them as soft and cute as possible.

riddle rosehearts.

him taking care of you:

♡ riddle is a busy man, that's for sure, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or that he doesn't have any time for you at all. he loves you and if he could, he would spend as much time with you as possible, but.. you know how responsible and strict he is. but again, it doesn't mean that he cares about the queen of hearts' rules more than you.. t-though it may seem like that sometimes.

♡ if he notices that you're not feeling well, like for example, maybe you're sick, he will worry about you a lot. maybe it's not that noticeable to you, but everyone else can see just how much riddle cares about you and wants you to get better. if riddle has a lot of work to do and he can't check up on you, he may ask trey for help, since he's his vice dorm leader, though he will feel terrible about it: riddle would much rather do all of that himself. he knows that maybe it'd be a more logical decision to send trey to take care of you while he tries to do everything as fast as he can so that he can visit you later, but for some reason.. no, it's obvious that riddle really wants to be there for you.

♡ if you're not doing well mentally, even though riddle is not good at giving emotional support and understanding other people's feelings, he still wants to be there and support you. if there's something bothering you, he will listen and he will try his best to come up with the best way to solve your problem. he prefers to think about such things logically and if the voices in your head are being too loud and mean, maybe his voice can help you feel a bit lighter.

you taking care of him:

♡ riddle tries his best to work on his temper, he really does. but of course, he still can't control his anger sometimes. maybe it's because of someone breaking a rule again. maybe it's because of his mother hurting him with her words again. maybe it's because everything is just.. too much for him and he feels overwhelmed even though he'd rather deny it and say that he's fine, because what else could you possibly expect from a dorm leader? and when that happens, you are here to gently calm him down or let him express his frustration and anger, it really depends on what would be better for him at the moment.

♡ if it's the first one, you hold riddle in your arms and softly tell him to take deep breaths, in and out. you slowly pat his head as he does so and you can feel just how fast his heart is beating. his face starts feeling a bit less hot, he finally remembers where he is and what's going on and his anger goes away, even if it's just for a moment. and if it does come back, you still stay with him no matter what. you know that riddle doesn't want to hurt you and if he mentions feeling ashamed and being afraid of doing something bad to you in this state, you hold his hand and tell him that you trust him.

♡ if it's the second one, you and riddle go to his room and you just let him do whatever he needs to let his feelings out. of course, there are some limits and exceptions and you make sure riddle doesn't accidentally hurt himself in the process or hurt anyone that dares to come in. when he finally feels a bit calmer and looks around while breathing heavily and trying to process everything, you ask him what he needs right now. does he want to be left alone? does he want you to hug him? you make sure riddle feels safe and doesn't worry about anything. if he broke something in the process.. well, he can probably just use magic to fix it, right?

ruggie bucchi.

him taking care of you:

♡ if you ever say that you feel like a burden to him, ruggie doesn't want to hear it. why? because he would always choose taking care of you over doing stuff for leona. he doesn't care about you not looking perfect today and he won't care about it tomorrow or any other day. when he hears about what you're going through, you blaming yourself for not having any energy to get out of bed or take care of your appearance, sounds so.. weird to him. how can you still say that you're the one in the wrong in this situation? he just sighs, shakes his head and ruffles your hair while saying that you should be grateful for him being here for you. he's not being serious, of course.

♡ if you don't have any energy to do chores or you're sick, he's totally okay with doing them for you. if you say anything about feeling guilty or if he hears you trying to offer your help, he doesn't let you finish. he's doing it not because he's your servant or because he owes you something. he just loves you a lot and wants you to know that. and if making your day a little bit easier is what he can do to show his love for you, he's more than okay with doing exactly that.

♡ he can't say that he's good at giving advice or understanding other people's emotions or anything like that, but if you need to vent, go on, he'll listen. he will nod, he will act surprised, he will make funny (and not really) comments, because even if he doesn't know how to solve your problem and even if he doesn't know how to show that he cares, he wants you to know that at times like these, you can still ask him for help and support. you've saved him so many times before and you don't even know about it. let him do the same for you just as many times as you did.

you taking care of him:

♡ ruggie may act like he has a lot of requests and that he can never be satisfied, but actually, he doesn't need as much as he likes to say he does. you buying him some donuts or giving him headpats always does the trick. you still love spoiling him though and if he's tired, you're always okay with letting him lie on your lap and talk to you or just take a nap, if he wants. you like buying him gifts even if he doesn't ask for anything, you love to see his reactions too much. he always gets shocked at first, but then he gets so excited, you can't help but smile because of how cute he is.

♡ you always notice if something is wrong and if ruggie is not feeling so good, you're always there to ask what happened and help him in any way you can. honestly, you're so good at noticing him try to hide his feelings, it scares him actually. he wishes he was better at fooling you and making you believe that everything is alright, but.. of course, ruggie has his problems too. of course, his life is hard too. but you being there to listen or to just give him the tightest and warmest hug that you can give him is everything that he needs at moments like these.

♡ if ruggie needs to let his feelings out, you'll be there and support him. you'll listen to everything he has to say. if he tries to laugh it off or says that it's actually not that serious, you give him the look that lets him know that you won't let him run away so easily and he has no choice but to admit that he's been not doing great. even if it's just him being tired from running around and doing errands, you still listen to his every word and make sure ruggie knows that you care. because you know that even something as small as this can make ruggie's day or maybe his entire week.

jamil viper.

him taking care of you:

♡ jamil knows how hard it can be sometimes, so if you're having any problems, if you're going through something really bad, you can rely on him. no, you are not being annoying, that's kalim's job. you can just sit down and talk about everything that's been going on while he makes you some warm tea, but still listens to you and nods and tells you to continue. even if you cry, even if you show how angry you are, he'll listen. if you can't hold back your tears, he will hold you as you cry while telling you that it's okay. and no, he doesn't mean it in a "everything will be okay" kind of way. he can't make promises like that. but he means it in a "it's okay for you to cry and be honest with me and show your vulnerable side to me because i promise that i won't hurt you and i won't betray you" kind of way.

♡ and he really does mean it. sure, jamil is.. u-uh, not perfect. but when he says that he will never betray you, that he will never stab you in the back, that he will never use you, he means it. when it comes to doing those things to other people to protect you though- okay, okay, fine, he'll stop himself there. however, he still often feels like he has to hide some things from you because he doesn't want to worry you or make you feel sad. but he still expects you to always tell him if you need his help or if you've been struggling lately. yes, he knows it's selfish. please forgive him for that.

♡ jamil is very patient with you. you're not a burden to him. you're not a nuisance. if you think he's being too quiet while you vent to him, it's not because he doesn't care, but because he wants to let you express your feelings, because he knows how often you tend to bottle them up. your every word matters to him and he wants to hear about everything that's been bothering you. he'll try his best to come up with a solution and give you some kind of advice. if he can't do that, well.. maybe he can at least keep you company, if you're okay with that?

you taking care of him:

♡ you know that jamil can get so, so tired of everything. and you can't even blame him. you understand him so well. so you just want to be there for him when things get rough. when he feels like he can't control his feelings anymore, when he's tired of pretending like everything's fine, when he feels like nobody will ever notice or truly appreciate his efforts, you gently put your hand on his shoulder and remind him that you care. if no one else does, at least you care. and that's already enough for him, because you are the most precious person in this world to him.

♡ jamil doesn't even have to say anything. if he doesn't have the energy for that, you're completely fine with it. you can just sit next to him with your head on his shoulder and you both don't have to talk. this silence isn't scary, it isn't weird, it isn't uncomfortable. and if he wants to talk about his feelings, you'd love to hear it. he can talk about whatever he wants as you carefully unbraid his hair and nod and react to everything. he doesn't have to apologize for his ranting, it's just him expressing his feelings and why should he be sorry for that?

♡ if jamil is angry, you'll let him be angry. if jamil is sad, you'll let him be sad. he never has to pretend to be someone else when he's with you. he doesn't have to pretend that he's better than he is. and he doesn't have to pretend that he's worse. you still love him no matter what. simply because jamil is.. jamil. and you don't need him to be anyone else. if he doesn't want to do anything special or productive today, that's fine. if he kinda wants to show off and impress you, that's also fine. and even though, of course, you want jamil to be happy, it doesn't mean that you stop loving him when he shows a negative emotion. because that's still him. and you love him.

epel felmier.

him taking care of you:

♡ oh? you don't feel so good?.. okay, who should he punch for making you feel bad? hm? it's not someone else's fault?.. o-okay then. epel is not exactly an expert when it comes to mental health problems, but if you just need him to be there and support you, he'll be more than happy to do just that. if you have the energy for it, you two can take a walk and just enjoy the sunlight, the warmth or the cool breeze, depending on the weather. you two can lie on the ground and just watch the clouds as epel points at some of them and tells you what they remind him of. you don't have to say anything, if you don't want to. but epel still hopes that you will let him know if he's doing a good job.

♡ you know what, he doesn't care what vil has planned for today. you're not feeling good? it's your day now. epel will literally figh his dorm leader if he has to. he just wants to spend this day with you, trying to cheer you up and nothing and nobody will stand in his way.. at least he hopes so. he's okay with doing anything you want. you don't feel like leaving your room? that's fine, he'll bring some snacks and you two can just chill while he's hugging you. you don't feel loved enough? he'll shower your whole face in kisses and will hug you as tight as he can. you don't have the energy to do anything? that's fine, stuff like that happens. just tell him if you need anything.

♡ i imagine epel to be a very physically affectionate type of person when it comes to people he loves, so be ready for many hugs, cuddles and kisses. he just has so much love for you inside and he has to express it somehow, otherwise he'll.. uh, explode or something, haha. but seriously, he wants you to feel as safe and comfortable with him as he does when he's with you. with you, epel feels like he can actually be himself, like you won't judge him and you don't have any high expectations for him. so please, let him repay everything that you've done for him. no matter how tired, sick, sad or angry you are, he still wants to be with you and tell you that those feelings are valid.

you taking care of him:

♡ epel doesn't really like admitting that he's not doing good. i mean.. isn't talking about your feelings kind of.. like, won't he look weak- okay, okay, stop pinching his cheeks, he understands, feelings and emotions have no gender, he gets it. fine, he'll be more open about it.. but only if you hug him, give him a kiss and tell him that everything will be alright! also, give him a lot of compliments. he really needs them. tell him that he's strong, tell him that he's the best boyfriend you could ever wish for, tell him just how happy he makes you. even if those compliments don't sound that special, they mean the world to him.

♡ every single word you say means so much to him. even if it's just you telling him that he did a good job, when he's with others, he will blush and politely thank you, and when it's just you two, he will tease you about it and ask you to do it again, but you have no idea how many times he will repeat those words in his head during the day and before he goes to sleep. and if you hug him, hold his hand or kiss him, it will be even harder for him to stop thinking about it.

♡ if he's suddenly being clingy or asking for affection for (seemingly) no reason, you can take it as a sign that something is wrong. also take it as a sign to give epel what he needs. kiss him on the forehead. hold his hands as tight as you can. give him the warmest hug that you ever gave him. even if he pretends that he actually doesn't like it or that you're being way too affectionate, don't stop. don't listen to him. give him even more attention actually. and of course, asking him what happened is good too. let him talk. let him rant about how annoying vil is, how tired he is of pomefiore or just whatever is going on in his life. he'll thank you later.

lilia vanrouge.

him taking care of you:

♡ OHHHHH HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. HE WILL. THIS IS A THREAT BTW. this man sees that you're not doing great and he asks you "what's wrong honey :( no, no, don't scream, this is just me-" as he's hanging from the ceiling as usual. if he sees that you're sick or just really, really tired, that's it, you will spend the whole day in your bed with as many blankets as you want. you have no choice. you need some warm tea/coffee/milk/anything else? he will bring it to you, just tell him. oh, he can also cook for you, if you want- oh, you're not hungry. oh. oh okay.

♡ but lilia really does make sure you don't waste your energy on things that he can help you with. if you don't feel like you can stand up to get something, just ask him for help and he will bring it to you. you actually don't even have to tell him anything. somehow he just knows what you need even if you don't say a word. he will fix your pillow if you don't feel like it's comfortable, he will bring you another blanket if you still feel cold and if you're sick, he will bring you the medicine you need. if you're having trouble falling asleep, he's always happy to sing you a lullaby and calm you down with his voice.

♡ if you say anything about feeling like a burden to him, he will stop you before you say anything else. he wants you to know that being able to take care of you makes him so happy because he can show you just how much he loves you and he can give you all the love you gave to him. you just can't be a burden to him because he loves helping you and he loves being there for you. you're not too much. and you're not too little. it doesn't matter how weak you think you are, because lilia will give you all the strength you need to go through the day simply because he loves you.

you taking care of him:

♡ you know that lilia's memory is not that good because of him being older than he looks, so you make sure to leave lots of notes for him in case he forgets something. and he appreciates it greatly. he loves seeing those notes because it's your handwriting!! he doesn't care how messy or how imperfect it is. it's yours and that's enough to make him happy. they're always so cute too! you also like to tease lilia about having to help him walk somewhere while calling him a grandpa and he laughs and plays along. you two literally look like the "sure grandma let's get you to bed" meme when you do that.

♡ on a more serious note, you also remind lilia that he really is a good father to silver. he's doing a great job actually. silver loves him just as much as lilia loves him, if not more. and lilia is a good person. why? well, he just has to take a look around. he just has to look at malleus, silver and sebek. lilia is an extremely important person to them and for a good reason. he plays such a big role in the diasomnia family and it's hard to imagine what could've happened to these boys if he wasn't there to guide them and support them. and he's doing the same thing for you now. and you feel loved and cared for when he's around. you're sure those boys feel the same way.

♡ you have so much love inside your heart and you will give it all to lilia if he needs it. if he feels like he's not good enough, if he feels like he's not doing enough, if he feels like he hasn't changed for the better, you will be there to tell him that he is so much better than he thinks he is. he has saved so many people, including you. maybe he's just so used to doing stuff like that that he doesn't even notice it and doesn't think too much about it. but lilia has changed so many people's lives. and you're here to change his life too. hopefully, for the better.

silver.

him taking care of you:

♡ silver loves you so much and he wants you to know that. even if he's slow, even if he falls asleep at the worst possible timing, even if he gets tired easily, he still wants to be able to protect you and help you with anything you need help with. just tell him or explain it to him and he will nod and immediately try his best to do it. he would do anything for you and he means it. maybe he's not that good with words and he's a little quiet, but he really will try so hard to express his feelings properly. if you're sick, he will get you anything you might need. if you're tired, he will help you with doing anything you don't have the energy to do yourself. he just wants to help you, please, let him do so.

♡ if he sees you falling asleep while doing something, he will gently carry you in his arms to your bed or the nearest couch and he will cover you with a blanket, making sure you don't get cold. he will softly get your hair out of your face and make sure you're comfortable before smiling at you (and not even noticing it) and sitting down somewhere so that he can watch you (not in a creepy way though! he just wants to make sure you're safe!). a-ah, he can fall asleep too though.. b-but he'll try his best to stay awake! he won't let anything bad happen to you, he promises.

♡ please don't think that silver sees you as someone weak and fragile because he's so worried about your safety. he just loves you a lot and.. and he doesn't want to lose you. you're so precious and so important to him and he doesn't know how to express it and what to do with his feelings because they're so new to him, so.. just tell him if he's being annoying or too overprotective, okay? he respects your boundaries and if you think he's overstepping, let him know, he would never want to hurt you.

you taking care of him:

♡ you don't find silver's sleepiness to be annoying at all. if anything, you'd say that it's kinda cute, but you totally understand why silver would worry so much because of it. you just want him to know that you still love him and that you would never hate him for falling asleep while you talk to him or anything like that. if silver has trouble waking up in the morning, you can just come to his room and wake him up if he wants, haha. o-oh, he would actually love that? okay then, you will be the first thing he sees in the morning from now on.

♡ if silver is blaming himself for his sleepiness and calling himself lazy, you will stop him before he says more bad stuff about himself. you can't just let your boyfriend do that. you know how hardworking, brave, strong and responsible silver is, there are just some things that he can't control and that's okay, that's normal, he just has to accept it no matter how painful, scary and frustrating that might be. if he needs to talk about it, you'll be there to listen. he always was there for you to listen to you talk about the things you love, talk about your day or just rant about stuff, now it's your turn to do the same for him.

♡ you're just as patient with silver as he is patient with you. and you know that even if he's a knight in training, he also needs and deserves to be protected. if you see anyone (subtly or not so) making fun of silver, you won't hesitate to call them out or even try to fight them. you also don't let people take advantage of him taking things a bit too literally and kind of living in his own world and being a more quiet and introverted person. this man is a knight, but he's still soft and gentle and deserves to be taken care of.

neige leblanche.

him taking care of you:

♡ this boy will do anything to make you happy!! he might have a busy schedule and he might have lots and lots of fans following him around everywhere, but you're still so, so important to him! just tell him what you need, okay? if you feel like you need more physical affection, he will give you as many hugs and kisses as you want. if you feel like you need some distraction from your problems, you two can go on a nice date to any place you want. or you can just leave the choice to neige if you don't know where you want to go! though he will still talk to you about it first, because even though making it a surprise sounds nice in theory, he still wants to make sure you're okay with it. and if you just need to spend some time with your boyfriend in silence, he will be more than happy to just sit with you while hugging you and not even saying anything. just being here with you is enough.

♡ if you're too tired and/or sleepy, he will get you the softest and warmest blanket and if you want, he can sing you something to help you fall asleep, again, just tell him. oh, he can also bring you a stuffed animal, if you want! if you want to cuddle, he's all for it too. he just wants you to feel safe and comfortable enough to fall asleep without any worries. even if you still have something to do, even if there's still too many dark thoughts in your head, neige just hopes he can help you forget about it at least for a moment. you getting rest is more important right now.

♡ neige would never let you think that his job is more important to him or that he loves his fans more than you. it's true, he really does love his fans no matter what and he's passionate about acting and modelling, but you are still that person that he cares about the most. there are so many things and people in this life that he loves, but to be honest, he'd probably be okay with losing some of them, but you are definitely not one of them. so let him express his love for you, okay? you deserve it. no matter how much you think you're not enough for neige, you deserve it.

you taking care of him:

♡ neige gives you so much love and affection, sometimes you feel like you don't give him enough of it back. so when you and neige can finally spend some time together, you give him as many hugs and kisses as you can and it's hard for you to let him go even for a moment. you just missed him so much.. the way you spend time together depends on how high neige's energy level is at the moment and yours as well. if it's been a long day of filming and no matter how much neige tries to hide it, his smile looks a little bit tired, you two can just spend the evening lying on the couch and talking about whatever comes to mind. and if both of you feel like it, you can try to bake something together or just dance together in your bedroom.

♡ even if neige looks fine, you can still tell if something is bothering him and you encourage him to be more honest about it. he doesn't have to pretend that everything is fine, he doesn't have to smile all the time, at least he can be honest with you. you agree that neige is insanely talented and that he deserves all his popularity, but you love him not only for that, you love him for what kind of person he is. and he doesn't have to continue acting when it's just you two. so even if it's something small and not that serious, he can tell you. you two can just laugh about it later or actually try to solve that problem together.

♡ if you find out that some fans of his have been acting weird in some way, like maybe they've been asking him if he has a s/o way too many times or even if they've been stalking him, you won't hesitate to do something about it. you will try to go and meet them in person, if you have to. you try not to let neige know about it because you don't want him to worry and because you know that he can be a little bit.. he forgives his fans too easily. you think him loving them so much is admirable, but also, you just really want him to be safe. you want to protect him. you know that some fans just.. don't know what privacy and personal space is.

rollo flamme.

him taking care of you:

♡ even if rollo may seem like a cold and emotionless person to some people, you know very well that it's not true at all and that he cares so much. if he sees that you're even a little bit tired, he will gently (but firmly) ask you to take a break. if you want, he can help you with whatever you're working on once he's free. as a student council president, he knows what it's like to have a lot of things to do and feel like you have to finish all of it as soon as you can, but it doesn't mean that he will let you overwork yourself. and if you're the opposite and you tend to procrastinate very often or you can be very forgetful, rollo will remind you that you have things to do and will try to motivate you to do them. most of the time it's just him saying that those things are important and you will most likely regret not doing them earlier- n-no, y/n, a kiss is not a proper way to motivate someone.

♡ rollo is not really good with words, it's true that he is good at things like public speaking and stuff like that or manipulating people into thinking that he's a totally normal person who is not planning to steal their magic but it's fine it's whatever, but when it comes to having actual genuine conversations, he is.. not sure what to do. however, if he notices that you're not doing good mentally, you can always tell him what's on your mind. he won't insist on it though and he thinks you should tell him about it only if you're comfortable with it. but if you do, you can trust him, he will listen to you very carefully and will never interrupt.

♡ rollo isn't really the type to give you emotional support, but i also can't say that he's the member of the "would rather give you an advice/suggest ways to solve your problem" gang. he's more subtle about it. you know what? he'd rather solve your problem himself. or at least try to make it feel easier and not as overwhelming and tiring. you feel like your schedule is a mess and you don't have time to do anything? he will come up with different ways for you to organize everything and when you wake up, you will already have multiple different new schedules for you to choose from lying on your desk. wait, does that mean he has talked to the people who gave you so much work and- actually, maybe you shouldn't ask him that. someone has been too mean to you? well guess what, they'll be nothing but nice and polite to you now. oh, and if any magic user even tries to- okay. okay, sorry, y/n. sorry.

you taking care of him:

♡ you honestly have no idea how rollo manages to do the student council work and take care of the belltower and its gargoyles and still pretend that everything is fine. no matter how much he tries to hide the fact that he's tired or claims that he's okay with it, you still ask him to take a break. and if he still insists that he has things to do.. man, and you were really hoping to take a nap with him while holding him and telling him that he's done well- oh? oh, he actually has some free time now? huh. interesting. well, what did you expect, this man is so touch-starved, it's insane. and it's also kinda cute to watch him try and pretend that he's not.

♡ you actually try to help rollo be more honest with his emotions. like, he has to be better than the overblot gang. and also.. it's probably for the best that we don't have another masquerade incident. so if you see that rollo is even a little bit annoyed, you still ask him what's wrong and even if he tries to cover his face expression with his handkerchief and says that it's nothing, you don't leave him alone until he confesses. and this isn't just about the negative emotions, if you see him try to hide his smile or his face that is becoming more red, you softly tell him to stop and look at you. you won't make fun of him and you won't think he's weird for expressing his emotions. you would love to see that side of him more often actually.

♡ if rollo actually wants to talk to you about something that has been bothering him even without you noticing anything or asking him about it, you'd be so proud of him for opening up to you and you will try your best to listen to him and you will be as patient with him as possible. you know that he has a lot of problems and that his past was really sad and traumatic and even though you can't do anything to change his past, at least you can try to make the present better. if he wants to talk to you about his brother, if he wants to talk about his relationship with magic, if he wants to talk about anything, you'll be there, waiting for him. you won't leave him. you promise.

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pasta-in-the-pudding · 16 days

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oh okay cool! could I request yandere Toby x reader headcanons and aesthetic board?

- 🪻

I HEART MAKING AESTHETIC BOARDS RAHHHHH AND I ALSO HEART YANDERES GUYS REQUEST MORE YANDERE FICS PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

credits to divider go to saradika-graphics! go follow them and support their work. Credits to Toby artwork go to Antlergrave! Go follow them and support their work

Thank you so much for requesting!!

Yandere!Toby x Reader General Hcs

With Toby, I feel like he is less of the stereotypical yandere

He isn't like Ayano Aishi, or Yuno Gasai, his obssession is more desperate if that makes sense

For example, the people listed above spend their time protecting their beloved or making sure nothing comes between them

Toby however, spends his time doting on you (or the idea of you), stealing things from you, sending yearning love notes, etc

He doesn't truly have a desire to hurt people when it comes to you, he more so just wants to keep you around him at all times and stare at you like an animal in a zoo

But if it came down to it, and he felt like he had no other option, he isn't above killing someone for you

Whilst stalking you, he will spend his time aimlessly following you around like a lovesick puppy, picking up any trash you may drop and cherishing it forever

He will sneak into your home while you sleep, crawling into your bed with you and being ever so careful to cuddle you in a way you won't wake up and notice him

Once he's able to convince himself that he should get up, he will go around your house, smelling your clothes, looking at what snacks you like the best, and making a mental note of what soaps you use so he can buy them and smell just like you

He will also steal some clothes every now and then, but he feels bad about taking something from you so he won't do it often

You will be scratching your head, wondering where on earth that one t-shirt went, and Toby will be silently giggling to himself outside your window while breathing in the scent on the shirt he stole

While he is unhealthily obsessed with you, he still has a sense of logic about him, so he won't try to force you into loving him

He will gradually make his way into your life, whether that be the cute shy guy at the library, the dorky guy at the coffee shop, the man that you saw playing with a stray dog, etc, he will be there

And he will find a way into your heart one way or another

If he actually scores a relationship with you, his obsessive antics don't stop, they only ramp up now that he can be more open with them

Constantly staring at you, almost never blinking because he doesn't want to miss a second of your beautiful face

Always stealing your clothes so he can smell like you and show off who he belongs to

Being so so clingy and so so jealous, almost always having his arms wrapped around you and his nose in your neck, begging for you to kiss him and rub his head all sweet like

All the while, he is staring down the person that dared be anything more than slightly friendly to you, making sure they know exactly what their fate will be if they continue

He won't isolate you per se, but he will try to make sure your eyes are always on him

If you go out, he will be there with you, never separating from your side

If you don't look at him for too long, he will get upset and move your face to face his, giving you a pathetic pout and watery eyes

The way he sees it, he is your plaything, you are the only reason he exists, and he will do everything for you

If you wanted to straight up beat him up, push him around and spit in his face, he'd take it all with a smile and beg for more

If you wanted to hold him and kiss his face, telling him what a pretty boy he is, he'd be on the brink of tears while asking you not to stop

He is yours is what i'm trying to say

His mind is yours, his body is yours, his very soul is yours

He is yours

#creepypasta #slender mansion #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x female reader #ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby x you #ticci toby x male reader #ticcy toby #ticci toby x y/n #yandere #yandere male #yandere boyfriend #soft yandere #tw yandere #yandere ticci toby #🪻 anon

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doberbutts · 5 months

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weird question, but is there a reason why humans with rabies don't become as mindlessly aggressive as animals with rabies? like, how come people with rabies aren't running around biting everyone?

If I'd hazard a guess, it probably cooks us before we progress that far. Additionally, it also likely has something to do with natural instinct- humans with rabies while they are still able to talk report feeling intense fear and pain while experiencing hallucinations.

Most humans actively don't want to hurt other people- I have a schizophrenic aunt and even in her worst delusions and hallucinations where she may be screaming threats, she's never actually followed through on any of them because she genuinely doesn't want to hurt anyone when she's capable of processing situations logically. Similarly, I have a friend-of-a-friend who is also severely mentally ill, and the only times he's ever hurt someone are when he gets grabbed while he's hallucinating that someone is trying to hurt him. Those he's lashed out at in this state get shoved or kicked or punched before he continues to try to get away from them (they also forgive him immediately because they are his caretakers and understand his mental state very well).

When we started using tools as a species, we also stopped reaching for "biting you" as a defensive response unless there is truly no other choice. Even in the grips of intense fear and panic and pain and delusion and hallucination and paranoia, humans are more likely to choose literally any other option than teeth unless that's their last line of defense. We probably did bite each other back when we were no different than our great ape cousins.

More or less, I'm not entirely convinced that rabies sends signals for "bite" specifically, and is more sending signals for "attack", and humans don't really reach for "bite" when attacking as a general rule unlike other animals. Humans who are restrained in their hospital beds are significantly more likely to bite their caregivers- shoving, kicking, and punching are out of the question when you're tied down. That is true regardless of if they have rabies or not.

Additionally, the virus seems to only progress so far before it stagnates at a specific stage in certain animals. Bats are significantly more likely to have "dumb rabies" than "furious rabies". This could be due to a number of things ranging from "dumb rabies makes them incapable of flight and fucks up their sonar [true!] and so they starve to death before symptoms can progress past that [theory!] since they have fast metabolisms and missing even a single night's meal is devastating to their health [true!]" to "bats show some resistance to rabies as a whole [true!] and thus it may take much longer for symptoms to progress in the usual manner and so the bat generally dies before it can go any further [theory!]" Bats CAN progress to the furious stage, but we don't tend to see it as often.

There has never been a recorded instance of rabies passing from human to human so my money's on a combo of the two theories. It's very possible that Grug The Caveman got rabies from the wolves he was trying to tame and then wiped out his entire society by zombie-biting the fuck out of everyone who tried to help him. But we weren't writing things down at that point, so we have no way of knowing.

Rabies' first documentation is 4000 years ago- but it's very possible it existed before that, since the writing just states that the owner of a rabid dog needs to take provisions against it biting anyone, meaning we knew by then what rabies was and that the bite was dangerous. It's very possible this disease has followed us around since before humans harnessed fire and invented the wheel. That's a decent amount of un-accounted-for time for humans to have hulked out and started zombie-biting.

We have so many folkstory monsters in nearly every culture on the planet that boil down to "had contact with an animal that was acting strangly, turned me into a savage monster that tries to kill everything I see less than a month later, btw my monster disease is super contagious and I spread it by biting the fuck out of you" that predate any modern science knowledge of how the virus works, which makes me think that it probably did happen back in the caveman days and it's ancestrial memory that has us clinging to these concepts to this day.

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starry-bi-sky · 4 months

Text

clone danny's accident in the clone^2 au

Im thinking about clone^2 danny's accident in this au. he doesn't have his halfa powers in this au. He has his scary eyes and the ghost sense and the ability to see ghosts - kinda takes up a psychopomp role with his ghost cases - and enough ectoplasm to trigger the ghost defenses in his parents' house. But he doesn't have his ghost powers or his ghost half. He's just very strongly liminal.

And im just mmmmm thinking about how that came to be. When I originally made the clone danny au back in the summer i couldn't think of how he had his accident without putting him inside the portal, and I couldn't put him inside the portal and have it turn on and then just say "oh! he doesn't have any powers. he got hit with the full concentrated power of the sun a dimension with just a scratch"

like - like i can't do it. i just can't. i need some plausibility in my aus or i hit road blocks and can't continue (see: my jason variant au and why that took so long to post). but i was at work today thinking about clone^2 au and it hit me like a lightning shot. I think said in the original clone danny post that maybe he got electrocuted by the on button on the outside of the portal. But i was never really satisfied with that answer - it felt too placeholder-y to me. too simple. Less plausible to me than I liked.

so, solution: he still gets shocked by the portal outside, but its from a wiring issue that he spots outside of the portal. My first thought is; the portal had a wire that was unplugged. His parents, essentially, forgot to plug it in. Or maybe in all of their excitement they accidentally unplugged it and didn't notice. It just sounds like the right amount of cartoonishly silly that the Fentons are known for. "We put a second "on" button in the inside portal" -> "we forgot to plug it in"

Danny notices it while he's showing Sam and Tucker around the lab and the two of them are checking out the portal. Something caught his eye from the corner and while Sam and Tucker were talking, he went over to investigate. If this were canon, this would be just before Sam tells him to put on the hazmat suit and go into the portal so she can get a photo (iirc). (So he's currently in reg clothes)

And im imagining it as slightly off to the side. Its two black cords - an extension cord to the outlet and then the cord to the portal. and danny crouches down over it, frowning. his eyes follow the cord to the outlet, and then the cord to the portal, and he picks both up.

'did they forget to plug it in?' he thinks, turning his head to look at the portal's entrance. and logically he knows he should probably put the cords down and tell his parents, let them handle it since they have the expertise for this stuff. But...

his eyes draw back to the plug. it's just a plug. it'd be fine if he plugged it in, wouldn't it? surely, it'd be fine. he thinks about it for a moment.

he plugs it in.

immediately, the energy that had been building up slowly through the wires of the portal - the latent ectoplasm in the room being funneled through whatever tech his parents used to make it - goes through the cord. Like a dam bursting. In a flash, the portal turns on with a worrying bang.

At the same time, Danny is hit with a near-lethal amount of electricity. While not as agonizing as being inside the portal, danny still mentally checks out with pain. and he blacks out. when he comes to, he's laying on his back, still in the lab, with sam and tucker kneeling over him. they're talking - probably yelling, with panicked looks on their faces.

He can't hear a thing they're saying, his ears are full of the overly rapid, irregular beating of his heart and the pounding of his blood. His chest hurts like he's having a heart attack, and he grasps at his shirt as his breathing comes in short, labored.

"Hospital" he wheezes out, and sam gets up and sprints out of the lab upstairs. everything else feels like a blur - his parents and jazz are by him - his parents completely ignoring their swirling, working portal, someone's calling 911, danny's being loaded onto a stretcher with an oxygen mask over his face.

danny gets discharged from the hospital a week later, and sick leave from school for another two. his parents refuse to allow him back into the lab, stating it was too dangerous, and their work comes to near grinding stop to watch over him. It's honestly kinda sweet, but the hovering is annoying him - stubborn, independent teenager that he is. When he gets back to school he's still relatively sat out for phy.ed - he's been getting random heart palpitations (which had been at its worst when he was still on sick leave) and what the doctors think is a strange case of arrhythmia. Although Danny insists that he's fine - he's breathing, alive. Nothing feels wrong with him.

Then one day in class, Tucker turns to him to say something - a joke -and yelps - "your eyes!"

Danny on instinct turns his head to the window, frowning. And in the faded reflection, his eyes are burning shade of green like that of the portal. He blinks, breathing in sharply, and they're back to the his old bright blue.

Unfortunately, they're in english class, and the entire room was staring at them. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Foley?" Mr. Lancer asks from the front. Tucker is still wide-eyed and in shock, and he looks quickly between Danny and Lancer.

"I- no, um- Danny's eyes- they- were, um..." He looks panicked, confused.

Danny steps in, and leans over to Tucker. "I think he just spooked himself, Mr. Lancer." He says, looking frontward with his brows furrowed. "Sorry, it won't happen again."

Mr. Lancer looks unconvinced, and suspicious, but he lets it lie. "Are you feeling alright then, Mr. Fenton? Do you need to see the nurse?" It wasn't a secret to the school or student body that he'd been to the hospital from a lab accident - and that it'd resulted in heart problems that he was recovering from.

Danny grins at him, and pounds his chest lightly, "I'm fit as a fiddle, Mr. Lancer. No heart attacks here." He jokes, and leans back into his seat. Mr. Lancer stares, eyes squinty, and then returns to the lesson.

It keeps happening. Danny's eyes turn green at the most random of times, and the three of them begin wittling down what was causing it. In general, Danny's eyes were turning green whenever he was engrossed with something, or when he got emotional - when he was laughing, angry, upset, anything. Sometimes it resulted in heart palpitations, sometimes it didn't.

his ears were hurting too, aching, like when they were cold. Danny wakes up one morning and spends twenty minutes in the bathroom turning his head left and right - his ears were beginning to point. Sam thought it was cool - Danny just thought it was concerning.

He was seeing things too - apparently. He struck up a conversation with someone on the street once - a strange looking man who looked terribly pale and wore old clothes. He looked delighted to be talking to Danny - and then Sam and Tucker walked up to him and asked who he was talking to.

("What do you mean? I'm talking to him.") ("Danny, there's no one there.") ("What?")

After multiple instances of this, they configure that the accident had given Danny some sort of ability to see ghosts.

("So you're meta now?") ("Mm... I don't know. That doesn't feel right.") ("Oh come on, that basically fits the name to a tee!") ("I know, but I just- it doesn't feel right to call myself meta.") ("If you don't like meta, why not just call yourself liminal? Since the portal is supposed to access the afterlife and it gave you powers to see ghosts.") ("Huh, good idea, Sam. Liminal it is, then.")

And as time goes on - and his parents begin to catch and experiment on ghosts - danny adjusts to these weird new abilities. It's not so bad, he supposes, its just some creepy eye magic and a ghost sense. He can live with that, and no one needed to know. He could go back to being normal - right. ...Wrong.

Do his parents really have to catch ghosts?

plus additional sketch that i made at like 3am last night because i needed to draw it down -- aha ignore the inconsistent drawing ability that i have. i'm more of a writer than i am an artist.

#dp x dc #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dpdc #clone^2 #dpxdc crossover #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp dc #dp x dc au #dc x dp crossover #danny fenton is a clone #danny's accident in the clone^2 au #clone^2 danny before damian's arrival #danny having arrhythmia from the ghost portal - or what the doctors think is arrhythmia. him having health issues from the accident is #interesting to me but not something i think i'll get into too much other than the aforementioned heart problems. mostly bc i dont think #i'd be able to properly showcase it #also im a little embarrassed by my art skills but i just dont draw often so its about as good as im gonna get with a sheet of paper #i can do like. front poses really well but i struggle so much with drawing a head that i like that doesn't fel juvenile or amateurish #so i just gotta keep practicing lol. and find a tutorial that works suppose.#14yo danny's hair being shorter prior to when damian meets him >> its still longer than it is in canon but shorter than it will be.#i think i accidentally gave him a tim haircut. oh well. hair is hard and practice makes improvement #depending on where my motivation is at i may or may not make another post about danny finally becoming phantom in clone^2 #half tempted to add a prompt tag to this because mAN do i wanna talk to people about this au and other potential stuff that could happen #like how people will take a prompt and interpret it differently than the person next to them. i love talking about different ideas of #the same thing.#does the comic imply there was something compelling danny to check it out and plug the portal in?.... maybe.

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serialunaliver · 3 months

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My response to this post about the possibility of Michigan school shooter Ethan Crumbley's mom being charged with involuntary manslaughter I was tagged in (putting it in a separate post because I don't feel like starting shit with anyone):

The case here being used is unique to other shootings. Typically mental illness is not actually the primary deciding factor for violence. Media coverage of school shootings has caused more school shootings than mental illness. A large amount of school shooters were inspired by the ideology of other school shooters. If Columbine wasn't treated the way it was I have no doubt there would've been less shootings.

When it comes to negligence involving mental health I don't actually see a big increase in surveillance or institutionalization as some are claiming though. The fact is parents can already use mental health as an excuse to force their kids into abusive 'treatment' with no consequence. It happens in every psych ward. It's also already used in legal cases as well, that happened to me and it did in fact lead to being forced into harmful treatment, so really the precedent and incentive is already there for those who choose it in my opinion. Meanwhile there's the opposite case where parents would rather their kid cause destruction than admit any mental health issue exists regardless of consequence. Logic is thrown out the window for the most part.

Now the defense of Ethan's mom is claiming he is a manipulator and not mentally ill. While anyone who follows me knows I despise the mental health argument about school shootings, it's quite clear this kid's actions prior to the shooting were at the very least a cry for help. He didn't try to make this secretive and even drew pictures of it. If his parents didn't care about this, it's possible he's neglected in some way at home, which can actually lead to antisocial behavior and acts of violence or threats of them, because, well, one would assume your parents would finally give a fuck about your well-being in that case. I'm diagnosed with a cluster B personality disorder partially due to "manipulative behavior" in the past which seemed horrible and illogical but was literally the only way I thought anyone would know I was hurting. Obviously I don't know if this is what's actually going on in Ethan's case, but what everyone can agree on is the parents' response to all this was not normal or acceptable and doesn't exactly paint an image of a well-adjusted family. And I do wonder if the "manipulator" argument comes from the (most common) perception that anyone with this behavior was just born evil.

ANYWAY, here are some articles/resources on common causes of school shootings and how media coverage and environment impact them, both to spread awareness and to point out that you should not in fact paint anyone as born evil or a future shooter just for certain issues.

• Bullies, black trench coats: Columbine’s most dangerous myths

• Violence has grown since California's incel shooting

• Who is most likely to get bullied at school?

• School shootings and student mental health (Includes more detailed statistics but some are misleading - the one on bullying is based on public perception of shootings, not actual cases, and the one on violent video games has no real correlation. Let this be a reminder to research your own sources!)

#school shooting #seriousposting

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mzminola · 1 year

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Bruce sets up an elaborate mindfuck for Tim's birthday in an attempt to make Tim less trusting of even allies, giving him a mental breakdown. Bruce claims this will make Tim a better vigilante.

Tim, upon figuring it out, throws his Robin uniform literally in Bruce's face, cussing him out (like, actually censored swears, which Tim usually doesn't use), and quits. He talks with Steph about how messed up it was, and she empathizes out of her own messed up experiences with Bruce.

An unclear but short time later, probably a few days, Tim un-quits and states to Bruce that he doesn't expect an apology (not because it's unnecessary, but because he knows Bruce).

Stephanie returns from presumed death, finds Bruce, and accepts his orders to not reveal herself to everyone else & to take extreme actions to, once again in Bruce's estimate, make Tim a better vigilante.

This includes running around town in her original costume so Tim thinks his dead friend has a copycat, hiring people to attack him, working with a bomber, and even after knocking all that off, not sharing pertinent information about it with Tim, resulting in Tim being caught in an explosion.

Tim yells at Stephanie and says "Don't let me catch you wearing [the Spoiler] costume ever again." When she tracks him down a little later, he refuses to speak with her.

An unclear amount of time later, probably a few months, Tim is willing to work with Stephanie to stop a supervillain plot.

Some fans treat Tim's word-choice in the confrontation with Steph as him trying to control her. As him thinking he's got the authority to decide who can and cannot operate as a vigilante, at least in Gotham.

But. Like. One, aside from this one conversation, he takes no actions to stop her. He doesn't steal her gear (like Bruce sometimes steals people's uniform), he doesn't go and tell other people to stop working with her, he doesn't even go snitch to her mom.

Tim just. Tells the friend who got him very badly hurt while mindfucking him that he doesn't want to see her in the field again.

Two, it's a pretty dang similar response to when Bruce mindfucked him in the first example. Tim is the one who insists Batman needs a Robin. And here he is depriving Batman of Robin.

Yet if I tried to claim "Tim quitting Robin is his attempt to control Batman, is Tim acting like he has authority to stop Bruce from being a vigilante" you'd laugh in my face. Because that is a huge leap to make, with convoluted logic, and isn't supported by the rest of the text.

Bruce & Stephanie both screw Tim up really badly.

He confronts them and says he's breaking ties.

Then after a little distance, he goes right back to working with them.

And some people think this is...controlling? Don't get me wrong, Tim has some controlling tendencies, they all do, but it's usually teaming up with Alfred to stop Bruce patrolling while injured, and lying his ass off to everyone so he can do what he wants.

This? Is not that.

#Robin 1993 #and a little bit of RR #Bruce Wayne Critical #Stephanie Brown Critical #DC #Batfam #comics meta #Tim Drake #meanwhile Cass nerve strikes both Steph and Babs at least once each #to stop them from following her or stopping her when she wants to go do something dangerous alone #and nobody talks shit about her for THAT #I love Cass! she is simply not exempt from Being An Asshole sometimes #and it does drive me a bit buggy that like...#it never comes up in these discussions #Bruce Wayne #Stephanie Brown #characters are all tagged for archival purposes #dunno if this is Fandom Critical or just Fandom Exasperated

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chuplayswithfire · 2 years

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So like, fandom has a racism problem, yeah. That's not a surprise. Fandom's just a microcosm of the rest of society, and society's got a racism problem. But the more I look across content, the more I've started to realize people don't seem to understand why racism is.... a problem.

And that makes it harder for people to see racism, when they don't really... understand why and how it's a problem. I've been thinking about this for the last day, and so I'm making this post today because I finally had a chance to sit and put my thoughts together in a way that I hope will make sense.

Because here's the thing. I've been getting... more and more the idea that people think racism is a problem because it makes people feel bad. That Jim stabbed that British officer because calling Frenchie a slave was an insult that hurt Frenchie's feelings. That Ed had the French captain skinned and thrown overboard because calling Ed a donkey hurt his feelings. That the ship full of aristocrats were jerks because they hurt Ed's feelings.

And like. Yeah, I mean, on a very surface level, their feelings were hurt, sure, those were shit things to experience. But it's not about their feelings, first and foremost. Racism isn't about making people feel bad. Those things weren't bad just because they were especially shit insults.

Racism is about making structural oppression. It's about making people less - not making them feel less, but legally, socially, morally, literally, less than. It's about establishing "this is a person, and that is not a person". It's about society wide depersonalization. And in the context of OFMD especially, it's about whiteness and colonization, and the way that racism is the socially created and legally enforced system through which whiteness decides who counts and who doesn't. Who is a person and who is a thing.

Slaves and donkeys? These are things. These are items to be bought and traded and sold and put down and compensated for the loss. They are not people with rights and freedoms and protections, they are line items on someone's accounting sheet, objects with monetary value pre-determined and understood.

Frenchie isn't called a slave because that British officer (yeah, I'm not learning his name, not sorry) felt like being an ass or wanted to make him feel bad. He called Frenchie a slave because he was furious that some thing, some object, some less than creature, was speaking to him as if they could have even the faintest hope of being on the same playing field, let alone equally human. He was declaring Frenchie an object and a tool that should be silent unless spoken to.

That's why Jim throws that knife at him. That's why Jim is pissed enough to blow their cover even with a fuck-off huge warship right next to them.

Because everyone on the ship knows exactly what being a slave would make Frenchie. And Jim especially has reason to be aware of and sensitive to that, given that Jim is in love with a Black man who's already been being demeaned, dismissed, and disdained through this whole encounter.

Those British officers get their shit wrecked because they're declaring people the crew loves to be less than they are, less than human, reminding them all that in the world outside of piracy Frenchie, Oluwande, and Roach aren't people but property. Objects. And that shit's not fucking acceptable.

This logic directly follows through with the French captain Ed has killed - which, let's be clear, that French captain was definitely going to be killed no matter what, because this is a pirate raid and if they massacred what seemed to be a majority of the crew already, there's little chance they'll leave the dickbag captain alive behind them. So this isn't a man who got killed because he was a racist fucking dick.

This is a man who got himself a worse death being a racist fucking dick.

The scene plays out in a very similar way as the previous dickbag racist to get got, except in this case, there's no Jim to to take control of the situation (Stede is not able particularly helpful here because of his own implicit biases that he's yet to unpack), there's just Ed and Fang here to react to this situation.

And the situation is - the French Captain being a racist, and specifically choosing to focus on being a racist to Ed rather than just being generally anti-pirate. I'd thought that was pretty clear until I came across the sentiment that Ed is lashing out here because his "feelings were hurt" rather than because he was responding to racist bigotry, so let's be blunt about that.

Stede starts the interaction with a characteristically bitchy remark about how there's a distinct lack of saucier spoons on this "supposedly first class vessel", but when the French captain throws out, "my apologies... hadn't imagined we'd be hosting your kind", the meaning of that statement goes right over Stede's head. He registers insult, sure, but the way Ed stills there? The way he closes his eyes and then turns and requests clarification in a way that is clearly meant to give this asshole a chance correct his mistake?

That's Ed identifying what Stede missed. That when the French captain says your kind he's not referring to pirates. And that's made clear by the fact that when he continues on, he doesn't direct his response to Ed And Stede, he directs it to Ed specifically.

"A rich donkey is still a donkey."

That's the French captain doing what the British officer did. Naming Ed for an object, a beast of burden, a thing that is not worthy of recognition or respect or acknowledgement. Ed's Blackbeard and yet as far as this asshole is concerned, by the very fact that he's not white nothing he's ever accomplished, not the fear he inspires or the legend he's built, matters in the face of that.

That's what racism is about.

It's about whiteness establishing that the most successful, the most fearsome, the most legendary of all pirates is an indigenous man and that makes him worth less than any white man. He's got this captain's life in his hands, and even that can't make the man treat Ed with a crumb of caution or respect. He's not a person to that French man. He's an upstart, an animal stepping out of line.

And honestly, I think too many people think Stede's reaction was the right one. Because it wasn't. At all.

Stede's not helpful here, I mentioned earlier, because he's got his own implicit bias acting as baggage. When Ed expresses his absolute fury at this man calling him a donkey, a beast of burden, an animal, even though he doesn't know nothing about Ed, Stede's response - is to try and stop the anger, rather than address the source of it. "Don't debase yourself for a man who doesn't have a single tureen on board." @knowlesian has written some great meta on the subject of this response, but to put it simply - Ed also doesn't have a tureen on his ship, Stede, and there's nothing debasing in a natural and normal anger response.

Someone labels you an animal, a beast, a creature, you should get angry. They should get cussed the fuck out. Especially because again, it's not unique. The French captain is very effectively reminding Ed that the greater society, the world, will never see him as a full person, deserving of respect and acknowledgement, no matter what he has or how he carries himself or what he accomplishes. It's foreshadowing how the party will go - to the white world, Ed will always be a novelty at best, a disobedient animal at worst.

Lashing out at that, especially with words, isn't debasing yourself.

And honestly, that guy getting thrown overboard? And skinned? (Though really, it's up in the air as to whether Fang actually bothered with that.) That's a power fantasy for so many of us fans of color, lmao, the idea that god, one of the fucked up assholes out here doing their level to remind us that the world does not see us as full and equal people, gets to suffer and die.

It's not because his feelings were hurt. It's because just like the British officers, this man is reminding Ed and the audience that the structural power of racism is such that you can never win within the system of it, because the system is built to keep us out, keep us down, keep us pinned.

Stede's reaction makes sense, because he's part of that system too - he's been born and raised in it, in the respectability politics, in the genteel illusion that the upperclass way of doing things, where you direct the initial response to the person reacting too loud, too public, showing all that messy, uncouth emotion rather than the person who's actually the problem. You look at the response rather than the source.

And Stede, to his credit, isn't trying to shut Ed up. He's trying, in his own way, to be helpful, actually!

But Stede doesn't know what it's like, to be considered not a person. As a white gay man who everyone has been able to clock as gay his entire life, he's been treated as lesser than and wrong and disgusting his entire life, by his father and his peers, but he's till a rich, land-owning white man. That makes him a person, even if a despised, rejected, undesired one. His society sees him as a person, someone who could even, theoretically, plausibly, be treated with respect if he could just behave according to their rules.

That's not an opportunity you can have, with racism. It's one of the underlying differences in homophobia and racism that I've personally felt, as someone who's experienced both. With homophobia, what you are is wrong but the expectation is that you can, should, and must, act "right", behavior "appropriately" and then you can fit in. At the bottom of the pack, but in. With racism, you're always out. You can't change your race. You can't change what you're identified as on sight. You can't do anything to overcome what you are, and that's why you're treated as and understood to be less than.

And in this time period, that's very much a legal standing, far more overtly than it is in 2022. Black people aren't people, in 1717, they're property or soon to be property or creatures without real intelligence who need to be minded by their betters. Indigenous people aren't people, they're savage animals who need to be minded by their betters, uneducated, uncontrolled.

The response to the British, and the French, and later to those aristocrats, is appropriate in this world, because this is a world that does in fact, cater a bit to that fantasy - what if some people got what they deserved, sometimes? What if it was in fact, the right thing, to fuck up a racist? The internet loves to talk about punching Nazis and TERFs, as they should, but the same goes for a racist too. These guys are reinforcing a corrupt, horrific system of abuse, and they get what they deserve.

I'm sure this won't reach many people. But if you read this post, I hope you think about what racism is, and how it works, and understand that it's not about the individual at all. It's about the system at play and how that system dehumanizes and minimizes and objectifies whole classes of people for the sake of uplifting a single race and making everyone else into objects and novelties and creatures rather than people.

Next time you see someone say Ed "had his feelings hurt" by the French captain, or imply that the British navy were "rude" to Frenchie, Oluwande, and Roach, remind them that they weren't fucking rude, feelings weren't hurt, they were being actively dehumanized in accordance with an overarching system of widespread oppression.

#low on the totem pole #bottom of the pack #ofmd #ofmd meta #fandom fuckery #edward teach #our flag means death #i haven't done a racism 101 style post in ages but certain circumstances have shown me this is necessary lol #at least for me to get my own thoughts out so i dont just roll my eyes into the back of my skull #edited to remove phrase in exchange for because reminded of bad practices with that phrase

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