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drchucktingle · 1 year

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favorite author i have never read

hey there buckaroos thank you for all the DEEP DISCUSSIONS we are having a great time here on tumblr. thought today i could make a post that is slightly more difficult its not all sunshine days ahead and requires a little introspection. LOOK AT US we have all arrived here together through trust and love and i think we can keep this going. chuck made this post on other platforms years ago and i think it was said very well then and led to some good discussion, so i am going to repost here. okay lets go deep bud here we go:

i would like to spend moment today talking about common joke i hear online (and even too my face at conventions). this is jokerman way i hear ALL the dang time: 'chuck tingle is my favorite author i have never read' or less jokerman way but of ‘i have never read his books but i love chuck tingle'.

first of all, THANK YOU buds. this is not way of call out post to make you feel bad, i appreciate your way and understand you are trying to support. this is not attack on your message and from bottom of chucks heart THANK YOU.

BUT i have to say something about this. please consider what you are saying when you post this. would you send this as message to STEPHEN KING or NEIL GAIMAN or NK JEMISIN? i doubt this. it would seem VERY RUDE to message other authors. just imagine trotting up to a writer and saying ‘i would NEVER read your books haha’ but it is sent to chuck all the dang time.

obvious reason buds say it to chuck is that i am queer author with a unique way. yes i write in realm of wild fantasy and erotic pairings, but by saying ‘i have never read chuck BUT' you are really saying 'i am posting my support of this but PLEASE DONT THINK I AM REALLY INTERESTED IN THIS PERSONALLY.' there are similar distasteful jokes that i will not repeat involving saying 'no bud on bud pounds' after a sentence that works in similar way.

is sexual art really that bad? is queer art really that embarrassing? is unusual outsider art really that funny?

it is one thing if your preferred pound is not one of chucks tinglers, that is TOTALLY FINE BUD, but if you are an adult i would say 'is it REALLY that scary to read a book about a way of sex that is not yours? is it that difficult to think that something that seems silly to you could actually MOVE YOU in an important way? do you HAVE to disconnect yourself from lgtbqia art with a 'but i don't read this myself?'

keep in mind, there are gay tinglers, there are asexual tinglers, there are trans tinglers, there are select your own timeline tinglers, there are horror tinglers. TINGLERS FOR EVERY TASTE. the thing that buds are often REALLY saying with ‘favorite author i have never read’ is ‘this is WEIRD and dont be confused because im NOT WEIRD IM COOL DONT THINK I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS’. funny enough even the proudly fun and wild and unique buckaroos will STILL say this line, maybe without taking time to think of what it means or how rude it is?

WHY would you never read a chuck book? because my way is queer? because it is neurodivergent? even if that is not there reason or even if YOUR ARE ALSO PERSONALLY QUEER AND NEURODIVERGENT TOO, think about what the joke is IMPLYING.

is sincerely enjoying something thats kind of unusual that difficult? do we really have to slather it in irony and ‘so bad its good?’ before reposting?

in closing as man name of chuck i will say you can still make this joke if you want buckaroos i know you are just having a good time proving love in your own way. i am not upset with you bud and i appreciate your support in any way you give it. there are some buckaroos who just CANT AFFORD tinglers and that is an important way i understand as well. obviously this conversation does not apply to those buds. but for the rest of us trotting along, MAYBE think about what you are really saying with this jokerman way first, and MAYBE try cracking open a tingler because you might be surprised. its not that scary bud. thank you for listening

being sincere is VERY COOL and VERY PUNK ROCK. i encourage all buckaroos out there to give it a try.

LOVE IS REAL

#chuck tingle #tingleverse #art theory #queer #lgbtqia #outsider art #neurodivergent #autism #irony #sincerity #love is real #favorite author i have never read

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plutonianeris · 1 year

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a message from 13 year old you ‧₊˚✩彡 [letter] 💓🍬

this is a general reading. take what resonates and leave what doesn't. scroll through the images & choose based on your inner guidance and gut feeling. ⛓️ *･῾ ᵎ⌇ ⁺◦ if you feel guided to: tip jar💘 ✧.*

Pile one ‧₊˚✩彡

"what did I tell you? I always knew it would work out in the end. I was always knew the pain wasn't going to last forever. It hurt to be treated that way by the people closest to me, especially the women in my life. there was always so much confusion growing up. people would say pretty things but there body language would show something else. I felt caged in my connections. But I always had some faith. I always had a feeling that the universe was watching out for me... for us. that it was sending us signs. that eventually I would be able to enjoy life to the fullest without feeling guilty for it. without feeling like I had to compare myself to the versions of me that they wanted me to be. I hope you know now that those versions don't exist. that we weren't born to be dolls for other people to dress up and control and shove words and opinions in their mouth and to gargle and spit back up. I doubted my intellgience so much.. underestimated my creativity. but looking at you now.. looking at us... I feel so proud. dont forget about me please! I always believed in you. even on those days where you couldnt stand to look in the mirror. I was on your side this whole time, its just that sometimes you werent listening. But now looking at you, you are everything I ever wanted to be. Im so glad I didnt give up. You deserve it all. the world. your dreams. im rooting for you. heres to more blessings and abundance."

Pile two ‧₊˚✩彡

"remember the way everyone would make fun of us for the weird things we did? Our odd expressions and the questions we asked and how we laughed out loud and our desire to see the world. how it always labeled as silly. I know it had made us dull our self expression for a little while. How we forced ourselves to shrink down, to fake laugh to the mean comments, or "oh this? not a big deal" or "its not that good.." so many of those... just to blend in better with our friends and family at the time. to make them like us. to see if that would make them stop criticizing so damn much. I hope we no longer are letting comments like that slide. I hope we dress like the way we always wanted to in our head but were to afraid to wear out. I hope we didn't let the world extinguish our playful nature. life felt like heartbreak after another. what do you know about love? youre just a kid. they deformed the way we saw it for a long time. but not anymore. It makes me emotional.. the way you never let go my hand. and how you always carried me along with you in your heart. Of course, now you call me your inner child. Or I guess inner teen. Ha, inner tween. Thank you for always being my friend. I see now that you are always what I was meant to be. Out of all the stars in the sky, we shine the brightest, you and me."

Pile three ‧₊˚✩彡

"you are so beautiful... wow we really are so different now. But I still see hints of me in you. in your smirk and your mischievous laugh and in your questioning glances and sharp stare when someone gets a little bit too close to our personal space. I admire the way your presence can make someone nervously glance away. I use to feel so powerless.. so many things I did to try to gain some control, even if it meant hurting myself and pushing away the people I love. I love how vulnerable you are. I really did see it as a weakness but looking at you now, it makes me realize how brave you are. of putting yourself out there despite the uncertainty. of taking that chance even if could end up badly. even if you could end up with a broken heart it seems like you no longer find sastification in staying in the darkness. I understand, its.. well, lonely... being alone. Do you think you could take me with you? That part of you... that is still afraid. do you think you could tell me? tell me that I am not broken or incomplete that there is nothing wrong with me. that I am not the worst thing that has ever happened to me or will happen to me. Reassure me? Tell me that some things we have to do even when we are afraid. that its terrifying and nerve wracking and makes our palms sweat. but then once we do it, it's glorious, it's liberating, it's everything we have ever dreamed of and more. I see it now. Take me with you. Do you see me? I see you. The way you look at the world and want to devour it. I see you now, with a crown atop your head. how you wear it so gracefully..."

Pile four ‧₊˚✩彡

"So many times.... I was so close to giving up. to listening to that little voice in my head that kept telling me over and over again that there was no point. that the feeling and the ache in my chest would last forever. that it was always going to be me versus the world. me versus me. that everything around me would always be dull and gray and that I would always be blue. I doubted my self-worth so much. It was practically non-existent. I still do in some ways now when I pop up and invalidate the way you feel, shrugging my shoulders wondering if maybe we are actually deserving of this happiness... of this success. it feels foreign. like its not really mine.. well, ours. We're not in a really good situation right now and my parents are trying to hide things from me that im just too big now to pretend not to notice. they don't make me feel that protected anymore. and that hurts me a lot. whose gonna take care of me now? Im so glad youre here now. Im so glad we got to grow up and that we survived. and im so glad that now that we survive we can actually live. Thank you for reminding that we can let go now. that theres no room for a pity party anymore. thank you for letting me know that your'e not going to leave me behind. thank you for keeping my memory alive. thank you for looking back at me with kind and loving eyes. but most of all, thank you for fighting for me. I know I can easily lie and say "everything is fine" but thank you for showing me that it eventually it is. thank you proving to me that eventually I will say its fine. its okay. its great even. and that I, that we, actually mean it."

#pac #pick a deck #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a pile #astro tarot #astrology #intuitive reading #pick a pile reading #pick an image reading #self growth #self help tarot #daily tarot #tarot #plutonianeris #pick a card reading #pick a deck reading

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iouinotes · 4 months

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"The Cole Effect" | Cole Walter

pairing: Cole Walter x female!reader

show: My life with the Walter Boys

warnings: smut, but just a little (I had to after seeing him in that last scene)

word count: 4k

summary: Cole asks the reader out on a date and after he convinced her, they spend a fun (if you know you know) evening together.

a/n: please pretend that his restored car has backseats...thanks (also I'm sorry for the way this ff ended. I wanted to write smut all the way, but it just didnt feel right anymore after the first half. So please enjoy the rest of it and bear with me...)

"So, when do I pick you up?"

He leans against my locker, looking over my shoulder and reading my notes. "Cole, how many times do I have to tell you? I dont have the time and patience, I'm sorry-" sighing I look at him, studying his smug grin.

"You have the chance to get to know me better. In my opinion, that sounds like the perfect way to spend the afternoon." He smiles at me, his eyes scanning my face.

The fact is, I didnt want to fall in love with him and I knew, if I would let him take me out, it wouldnt turn out for the best. Well, mostly for me. He would probably date the next woman, that would catch his eye. And I would be on his list, sitting at home on the weekends and waiting for him to call. No, that wasnt how I planned to spend my time.

I mean, he obviously is very handsome, blonde hair, dreamy eyes, pink lips that somehow always look kissable. And to be honest, sometimes when I get lost in a daydream, forgetting about the math class, he appears in my head. Always smiling as bright as the sun. I dont know what it is, but something about him is so attractive, I dont even know how to discribe it.

Of course, I'm not the only one who feels that sort of attraction. His magical appearance, how he talks, walks, smiles, flirts.

It´s called "the Cole effect". For most of the time, I didnt really get it. But as soon as his eyes landed on me, as soon as he talked to me, trust me, I got it. He is charming, enchanting, funny and he has a way with words that makes it addictive to hear his voice.

It´s crazy, but it is reality.

When I look at him now, I feel another pair of eyes watching me. Erin. The girl, who is in a on-off realtionship with him. Cole has many women, who want him, not just because he is popular. But because he is what every girl dreams of. Thats the problem, he is a dream till he gets bored and then you find yourself in your own nightmare.

"Its just- I cant. Also, there is a really pretty and wonderful girl, standing right next to you, thats been waiting for you to notice her." I never unterstood how Cole could want someone else, when Erin existed.

"Well, Im currently talking to her, so I know when to pick her up." His eyes stay clued to me. Confused, I draw my eyebrows together. "But Erin is this way-" I turn my head to look at her, but at the same second I feel a finger tenderly turning my head back. I freeze, butterflies awake in my stomach and I have to keep myself from looking too flustered by his gesture. Of course, my body has its mind of his own, so I feel my cheeks turn red.

At that, he grins. "I know you feel it, beautiful. One date, thats all Im asking for. I promise, you will have a good time." Im too caught up in my emotions to think reasonable. So I quietly nod and feel myself holding my breath, when he leans down to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. His finger again, linger slightly on my cheek.

"See you then, 9 o'clock. I'll be on time, you have my word." Winking, he turns around and walks down the aisle.

Finally I get to breath again.

☀️☀️☀️☀️

Why the fuck did I agree to this? Standing infront of my mirror, I look at my summer dress, warm yellow colour with beautiful, little sunflowers on it. It was the dress, I got a lot of compliments for. But then again, what was my intention with wearing this dress? Im not sure.

While I pick out a golden necklace in the shape of a sun and put on a few bracelets, I leave my hair down and the way it always is. I don't want him to think that I'm trying too hard.

He knows the truth anyway.

A few minutes later, I hear the doorbell ring and with one last, deep breath I open the door. If I'm honest, I would have liked to close it straight away. Because there's no way to avoid staring at him the whole time when he looks like that. Wearing blue jeans, slightly oversize, a white tank top and his red jersey. He looks hot, in a way I want to spend the rest of the day, riding something other than his car. God, help me survive this.

To my suprise, he is quiet the gentleman. He compliments my dress, he holds the door open to his car, he lets me pick the music and as I sit in the passanger seat, listining to Taylor Swift, I smile to myself. Unfortunetely I´m not very subtle about it, because he asks me right away about my good mood.

"I dont know, Im just having a good time, I guess." I look at him, while he is focusing on the road. I see one of his hand rising, so he dramatically holds onto his chest.

"I'm hurt. Did you think, I was that boring?" Laughing, I shake my head. "No, its not that. To best honest, I didnt expect myself to enjoy today." I turn my head and look at my lap, fiddling with my fingers. "Why not?" I see his head looking in my direction, a curious tone in his voice.

"I´ve had a hard time this last year, everything with school and you are- I mean, I dont know what intention do you have with me? Im not a one night stand type of person, I want something real. You know, like in the love songs, the real feelings, a real relationship. With a person, who wants me the same way, I feel about them. I think, thats the reason Im not sure, if this-" I gesture between us "is a good idea."

He´s quite for a moment and I feel more embarassed, the more seconds pass.

"Im sorry. I didnt mean that we´re going to be, you know like a thing. I respect your decision to spend your time with other girls, I didnt mean it is something bad. Its just-" He finishes my sentence. "-not for you. I know." His eyes are on the road, but I see his hands nervously tapping the wheel.

"Sorry, if I just crashed the vibe. I didnt intend to do it." I look at my hands. "No, its okay. Dont be sorry. I like your honesty. You know, you state your point. Thats good."

We look at each other and I try to search in his eyes for a sign, that he´s pissed. But he just lightly smiles at me, reaching out and holding my hands. While one of his hands is still on the wheel, of course. I feel myself blushing.

"Look, lets not pretend that I´m the best choice for a relationship or boyfriend material. Because I´m not and you knew that, even before you agreed to spend the afternoon with me. So, I´m just curious. Why did you change your mind?"

His thumb is massaging the back of my hand and I try not to settle with this warm feeling in my chest. "Because you dont give up that easily and it's hard not to give in to you." I see a smile tuck at his lips. "You think so?" I role my eyes.

"You know the affect you have on people, Cole. It wouldnt suprise me, if you run for president and won. People like you." He laughs at my comparison, turning the wheel and driving into the driveway to a nice restaurant. When he parks the car and turns of the light, he turns in my direction and looks at me.

"Do you like me?"

The question suprises me. "What?" I laugh quietly. "You said, people like me. So, do you like me too?" His eyes search mine.

"Well, if I would hate you, I think i wouldnt have agreed to go to dinner with you." He leans forward.

"Well you could just be here for the food?" I grin at him. "You got me, Im just hungry, sorry. Can we go in and be silent the entire time?" His hands are still holding mine, but now one of them is caressing my arm, leaving me with goosebumbs.

We sit in silent, but when he opens his mouth to break the comfortable atmosphere, Im shocked by his honest words.

"Well, I like you. You´re funny, endearing, honest and smart. You are nice to everyone, even if you have do deal with a guy like me, who gets on your nerves, so you agree to go on a date with him. It´s something about you, that is special and I would like to get to know you better. If you do, I promise you´ll get more food."

I smile at his last sentence, even though I dont know what to say. "God, you´re making me speechless." He leans even closer. "I can do many other things, that can make you speechless." At that I look at his lips. I see him grin and when I look up again, he is even closer than before.

"There are two choices now. One, we go into his lovely restaurant and talk about god knows what or two, we test whether the seats can be tilted backwards." At his voice I feel myself getting flustered. God knows, I would love to test what the car is capable of. But we´re out in a driveway, infront of a restaurant and people could see us. And even though I´m not really against the idea, its to early.

"Or three, we eat first and maybe later, you show me why I need to hate you less." He rises his eyebrows. "So you really are just here for the food." I laugh. "I guess, I am."

The time we spend in the restaurant was wonderful. I didnt expect us to connect this way, its like he just gets me. We ate a huge meal, in the end we almost forget to pay and I feel myself being so entchanted to him.

Even though the waitress tried to flirt with him (which by the way is rude, because what about girls support girls?), he kept his attention on me, also reaching out infront of her and taking my hand. I really couldnt tell myself to stop imagining, what it would be like, if we were a couple.

I mean, its ridiculous, because he made it very clear, that he didnt want to be in a relationship. But still, a girl could dream, right? Right.

After we did pay (much to the relief of the waitress), we went outside and walked a few minutes along a path, our hands entangled by the time we got back to the car. I didnt want to admit it, but he managed to make me fall in love with him in one day.

And even though I was scared, he made me feel alive. I couldnt concentrate on anything over than him, his sweet compliments, his eyes that kept looking at my lips, his arm that went around my shoulder to keep me warm.

He was so caring, it made me loose my mind. I didnt want the night to end. So when we were back in his car on the way home and he asked me, if I wanted to see his new car, I agreed.

We talked on the way back about our interests. He told me about his passion for football, even though he didnt get to play anymore and about his fascination for restoring cars. I told him about my love for books and that I would rather spend the day waching a new Netflix series, than doing sports. We talked about our goals for the future and that we both want to get out of this town, finally seeing something new.

By the time we arrived at the ranch and he parked the car outside the door, it felt like I knew his past selve, his present and future self. I never had a date like this before, something so honest and great.

But I mean, I also never knew a person like Cole before, so maybe that is the reason.

☀️☀️☀️☀️

When we arrived, it was dark outside, but because it´s summer, neither one of us felt cold. "Is it okay for me to be here? I mean, are your parents cool with you, bringing a girl home?" I look to the house, checking if some of his family members are still awake, but no lights are seen. "As long as they dont know about it, they´re cool." He grins at me and I shake my head.

"Come on, I want to show you what I´ve been working on for the last months." He leads me, one of his hands on my back to the garage, opening the door and letting me in. Its dark inside, but I hear him shifting around to find the switch to turn on the light. When I hear a click and the light flickers on, I look around and at the tools, all the stuff standing around and finally at the car.

He´s standing next to it, a proud smile on his face. "So, what do you think?" Im walking towards him, inspecting his work. "I mean, I dont have a clue about cars, but it looks really good and like it was restored by a proffesional." My fingers run over the open hood.

When he carefully closes it a few seconds later, I look up and see him watching me. "What?" I say, starring back. He takes a step towards me, searching in my gaze, trying to make out if I want this the same way, he wants to feel me. But as I stand still, waching him get closer, centimeter by centimeter, until our faces almost touch, I feel myself breathing heavily.

His hands sneak around my waist, pulling me gently closer to him. He turns around, so he leans onto the car, directing me, so I stand between his legs. I feel myself getting hot, I hear his breath and watch his eyes trailing down to my lips and finally to my eyes. I do the same. And before I know it, he leans in and catches my lips in a captivating way. I feel myself melt.

One of my arms sneak around his shoulders, so I get closer to him. I feel butterflies fly around in my stomach, smiling in the kiss and when he breaks apart, he looks at me.

"Hate me less now?" He wispers.

"Not really, try again."

So he does. Our lips meet, our breath gets taken and I feel my knees weaken, when one of his hands capture my face. He holds me still and I feel every touch, my skin burns.

The temparature rises and when one of his hands travel down, first to my neck, then to my collarbone and lastly to my shoulders, his fingers hold the straps of my dress. Again, he breaks apart, so I open my eyes and immedialy want to kiss him again. Although my hands wander over his shoulder, Im not sure what to do now.

"Are you nervous?" His hands caress my sides, his question leaves me uncertain. I nod, not in the right state to use my words. At that, he gently smiles. "Then I will help you relax. You can do that for me right?"

His words make me clench my thights and I feel myself getting wet. When I nod again, he leans forward and wispers in my ear. "Good girl." That and that his lips nip at my ear and leave a wet trail at my neck, makes me whimper slightly. I feel him smirk, so he earns a light smack on his arm. He laughs quietly and when I open my eyes, his ones are shining with a hidding mischief.

"You enjoy this too much." I say it as a joke, but he takes it seriously. "I do, actually. I dreamt about you making these sounds a lot more often, than I would like to admit."

At that, I gasps. "You what?" I try to concentrate on his words, but his wandering hands dont help with that. He kisses me, but now he turns us around and presses me against the car. Helping me sit on it, so he can get between my legs.

"I said" he beginns to speak and his lips find a certain spot, that makes me moan. "I want to hear all the little sounds, that escape you." My hands wander to his hair, holding it and messing with it. His hands again find the straps of my dress and when I kiss him more passionate, he slowly beginns to pull it down. First the right side until he lets go of it, so he can pull the other one down. All that, while still kissing me.

I feel myself getting lost in him, his lips are like a drug and I feel myself getting addicted. When I feel the air hitting my skin, I break apart. He looks at me, checking if I’m still okay with what we´re doing. "What do you want to do?" he holds the straps of my dress, gesturing that he wants to get me out of it. I breath, trying to know, what I want.

I come to the simple conclusion, that I do want him. Even if its just for now. So I kiss him and try to strip him out his jacket. To do that, he lets go of my dress and it falls to the floor, leaving me in my underwear. His eyes scan my body as his hands caress my skin, his finger going from my shoulders to my breasts.

Breathing heavily I look at him. "Your turn." His hands leave my body and with a teasing smile he takes off his jacket, leaving me starring at his muscles.

One of his fingers turn my head to look at him. "You like what you see?" His grin says it all. My hands find their way to touch his arms, going further down until i tuck at his shirt.

"I would like you more without it." His eyes turn dark. Swiftly he strips off his tanktop, leaving us both starring at each other. Before I can do something else, his arms direct me to him.

"You´re having second thoughts about this, sunshine?" He´s touching my necklace.

"Have you?" I look at him, seeing him smile.

"Never." His hands go to my legs, so he can lift me up and my legs hold on to his hip. I lean towards him, kissing his neck and stopping by his ear.

"What do you want to do to me?" At that, he stands up, still holding me, while opening the door of his restored car and lays me gently on the back seats. He´s hovering over me, a look in his eyes that makes me shiver. When he leans down and presses a kiss on my chest, near my neck, I try to focus on my breathing.

"I want to do so many things to you." His hands tangle in my hair, lightly tugging on it while he leans down, his lips ghost over my own.

"I want to-" his voice goes quiet, I feel his hands touching my legs, breaking them apart, so he can sit between them. "-take of your panties first. Alright?" I nod, looking up to him. Slowly his fingers find my underwear, so he can slide them down and I get out of it.

When he holds them in his hands, he puts it in his pocket, because he still wears his jeans. He starts to kiss me, leaving my mind with a relaxed feeling, going further down, kissing my chest and my stomach, eventually leaving a kiss above the one spot, thats been dying to be touched.

"I already have you this wet, how sweet of you." When his hand comes down and touches me, sliding one finger gently over my folds, I try to hold myself together.

"You dont need to be quiet. Nobody can hear you." But when I keep holding in my moans, he takes it as a personal challenge. As he leaves kisses all over my body, his finger carefully begin to speed up and I feel my walls clenching.

"God, you´re so tight. How long havent you been touched?" His mouth his hot on my skin and when he adds a second finger, I moan loudly. My eyes squeeze shut at the feeling that consumes me, I cant concentrate on a word he says.

"Already too turned on to answer me, huh? Thats a shame, because Im curious to know the answer of my question." He stops the movements of his fingers, leaving me with a needy feeling. And when I try to move, he stills my hips.

"As much as I like to see you sqirm, I want you to answer me. Can you do that for me?" I try to remember his question. "I-I havent." He rises his eyebrows in confusion. "You what?" His fingers leave my body. When I open my eyes, I realise what he has been asking me.

"I-I havent been touched like that before." His mouth opens in disbelief. "You never had a boyfriend or someone you´ve been intimitated with?" I look at the ceiling of his car. "I mean, not really. I´ve dated someone once, but we didnt reach a level, where we got to this point. So, I never did something like this." I can see the conflict in his eyes. "You´re sure, you want me to be your first?" Its sweet, that he cares.

"I- I guess so, Im sure it wont be a bad experience with you." He quietly laughs. "I hope so, but I cant get my head around the fact, that this is your first time. I mean, youre beautiful and fun to be around." He´s silent for a moment. "You know, we dont have to go all the way, right? I wont be mad, if we stop here."

I think for a moment and while my hands trace his muscles, I try to sort out my thoughts. Now that his fingers are no longer distracting me, I try to understand my feelings.

"We should maybe take it slow? I do want to get to know you better, before-" I dont have to finish the sentence, he just nods and when he smiles at me, I feel myself relax.

"That´s okay, don´t worry. I can drive you home, if that is what you want?" My eyes are searching for a sign, that he is mad. But he just gently brushes my hair aside and kisses the side of my mouth.

„I like you. That means, so we are clear here, that I want you to want me. And if thats the case, which I hope so, then we dont need to rush anything. If the time is right, who knows what will happen. Even if that means, I need to beg you to go out with me again.“

I raise my eyebrows, laughing at his words.

„You would do that?“ He shrugs, smiling at me.

„For you, I would.“

#my life with the walter boys #cole walter #x reader #love #smut #fanfic

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writing-blog-iguess · 11 months

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Online Matchup

Summery: Y/n thought it would be fun signing up on dating sites, just for shits and giggles. Who knew that was one of the best decisions they made, especially when they're having too much fun talking to a certain Jason Todd.

warning: swearing, unedited I think, mentions of cancer, fluff, lots of back and forth teasing

word count: 3072

a/n: I promised myself I'd post a fic today, though it's not the one I wanted, I hope you enjoy regardless.

ao3 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Inspired by this:

September 19

You matched with Jason Todd, say hello!

Y/N So, when you say you're looking for a partner in crime Do you mean, like, rob a bank and fight batman? Or like, cozy up on the couch with the fireplace going while it's raining while we try to finish the books we bought? Cuz, I can do the second one I dont think i could fight batman or any of his kids Or even what to, you know? They’re kind of scary …. well maybe one of them i would fight I say fight but its wont be Oh man, I am so sorry about this. This is not how i wanted to tell you that i am a rambler I’m just gonna see myself out Goodday

Jason Ngl this made me laugh So who would you fight but not really?

Y/N You can’t honestly be interested in who I would fight? No way

Jason Way you seemed interesting and i want to get to know you

Y/N … okay but you need to answer my question first

Jason: Lol fair. And it would be the second one. I too wouldn’t fight batman but for different reasons

Y/N: So you're a fighter?

Jason Nope This isn’t how it works

y/n: Fine but remember, you asked for this

Jason: Okay but it’s not like you have a plan on fighting all the batmans kids so i think im safe

y/n: …….

Jason: Oh shit you do?!

y/n: I plead the fifth

Jason: You just got a little more interesting

y/n: I’m going home

Jason: Damn and here i thought i’d finally found the love of my life

y/n: No, nope Don’t say that The more you talk to me, you’ll find the real me and then want nothing to do with me

Jason: Let me be the judge of that We matched for a reason and i want to find out Don’t you?

Y/n: Aren’t you a charmer Okay fine. 20 questions?

Jason: Sure but after you tell what you would do in a fight with the batfam

y/n: I was hoping you would drop this, damn Alright, you get the honour of telling me who you want to know

Jason: Nightwing

Y/N: Really? Okay. well first i was thinking of just flirting my way out, but he looks like he’d flirt back and i’m not the best at it to begin with, so I’d just get all flustered Bro’s an acrobat, i aint running from him. I aint running from all of them if i’m being honest. Nah for nightwing, he strikes me as a dork in some way. I’ll talk my way out of it. And if there’s something i’m good at, it’s talking.

Jason: So your plan is to talk circles around him?

Y/N: Yes Once i figure out what type of dork he is, imma talk until he gets confused and then i’ll run away Bro won’t see it coming

Jason: I should tell my brother He’s a huge nightwing fan

y/n: Nooooooooooo No one needs to know i don’t need other people to know how weird i am Especially your family I don't want my first meeting to be ‘hey, you’re that chick that’ll talk nightwing to confusion. Man that was a great laugh’

Jason: You think this will go that far?

Y/N: Honestly? No But i have hope You?

Jason: Ya Anyways, red robin?

Y/N: You skipped red hood

Jason: Saving him for last

Y/N: Fair Hes smart, can’t really talk myself out of that one nor would I flirt He is too young and not my type So i use his weakness

Jason: There’s no way you know that

Y/N: No but I know the dude doesn’t have a regular sleep schedule.

Jason: How do you know that?

Y/N: Back when I worked at a coffee shop, I took his order a few times and watched him down his coffee while it was still hot I asked him once, why? Dude said, and i kid you not ‘sleep is for the week and coffee is god’ Ngl, i laughed and gave him a free coffee just for making my day

Jason: Shit day?

Y/N: Ugh you had no idea. I had two tests that day and a term paper due but i couldn’t get it printed in time so that was late Didn’t help i woke up on the couch, and my body didn’t like that

Jason: You in school?

Y/n: Ya, only two years in but i want it to end

Jason: Not a fan?

Y/N: Eh When did we start playing 20 questions?

Jason: Right, we we suppose to play after you finished your hypotheticals

Y/N: Curses Me and my big mouth Who’s next?

Jason: We’re still on RR

Y/N: Blah right I’ll just bride him with coffee and make a run for it

Jason: The fact that that could actually work is scary Are you sure you’re not a villain?

Y/N: Nope just an engineering student who could fight god with enough coffee and no sleep Honestly, RR’s my spirit animal

Jason: Robin

Y/N: Are you nuts? I’d turn myself in and then some ain’t no way i’m coming up with a plan for him He scares me

Jason: Why?

Y/N: I watched him fight a few times The dude has enough skill and rage to fight the justice league if need be I bet he could kill too He looks like it

Jason: Okay you're not wrong But if you had to come up with a plan, what would it be?

Y/N: Cannot believe you’re making me do this Fine Little dude may have a hard exterior, but years of reading and knowing people like him, he has a soft spot and use that against him

Jason: Do you know what that is?

Y/N: … I am going to die If robin finds this, I am dying by either embarrassment or by his hands

Jason: Come on, you gotta tell me I’m at the edge of my seat here

Y/N: Fine, but if i’m going down I’m taking you with me

Jason: But we’ve only just met

Y/N: Maybe so, but I actually like you But i’m starting to doubt

Jason: Aw come on, little bird

Y/N: Damnit I happened to be walking home and watched him sit in an alley playing with cats Must have been a slow night, he was there for hours

Jason: It was the little bird wasn’t it?

Y/N: So who’s next? Spoiler? Batgirl? The signal? Red hood? Oracle? Well, I wouldn’t fight Oracle, I don’t know who they are but I know they would win so I’m going to stay clear of them No, you know what? I can tell you my answer for all three of them I’d bribe them with cookies or something. Idk if they would take it but that’s my plan. Just straight up bribery. Who could resist cookies?

Jason: That’s your answer to everything huh?

Y/n: Yup

Jason: Even with RH?

Y/n: … He’s different

Jason: How so?

Y/N: Mm, okay but your not allowed to judge Or laugh

Jason: Should I be scared?

Y/N: Depends Anyways, i have a crush on him So I would shoot my shot and if i get turned down then at least I tried

Jason: You have a crush on Red Hood? Out of everyone there is, why him?

Y/N: You’re judging! You said you wouldn’t

Jason: I didn’t say shit Now tell me why him?

Y/N: Hell if I know But have you seen him?

Jason: I have but you don’t even see his face

Y/N: That just adds to the mystic that is Red Hood I just know he’s got a good looking face underneath the mask

Jason: You really are something else

Y/N: Sorry I’m a big fan of RH And I guess I like the thought of a mystery So if you want to end this now, I understand

Jason: Who said anything about ending this?

Y/N: Don’t know, a lot of people who seem interested in me kind of leave after they find out Either they don’t want to compete with a crush that I know have zero chance at or they just don’t like red hood and being with a fan isn’t something they want

Jason: They’re stupid I ain’t leaving for that And who knows, maybe you can shoot your shot one day

Y/N: HA That’s not going to happen I freeze up when I’m near someone I like I’d probably stutter and say something embarrassing and run away No thank you

Jason: Thought it out huh

Y/N: You have no idea Anyways, 20 questions?

Jason: I did promise You can ask a couple?

Y/N: Favourite colour?

Jason: Really? After what I did to you, your going to ask something simple

Y/N: Answer the question Jason

Jason: Green

Y/N: Thank you Favourite food?

Jason: What’s with the easy questions? Give me some hard hitting personal ones

Y/N: I will in time Now, answers please

Jason: Chili dogs

Y/N: Those things are gross

Jason: Hey, they are the pinnacle of street food You just have to find the right places

Y/N: Mmkay, if you say so

Jason: Alright, gonna have to take you to one of my favourite places

Y/N: That right?

Jason: Only way to convince you Where do you go to school?

Y/N: Looking forward to it Gotham University, you?

Jason: Not yet, but trying to Kind of hard when you were declared dead for a while

Y/N: Fucking what?! Gonna need that story

Jason: Nope, gotta reach at least level 10 in friendship to unlock it

YN: Damnit

Jason: Sorry little bird

Y/N: You didn’t need to say it so casually tho Who just mentions, ‘yeah i’ve been declared dead but haven’t done anything’ into a conversation And not elaborate on it This is bullshit, sir

Jason: It has happened to people

Y/N: Yeah, but they tell people why You just Dropped a bomb like that and say, not yet Whatever, i’ll drop it

Jason: You sure? Sounds like it’ll bother you until you get the story

Y/N: Yes I’m sure Yes it will bother me But like I said, I like you and I don’t want to be pushy I’m not a pushy person

Jason: Awe does someone have a wittle crush

Y/N: No You got nothing on RH

Jason: Now that just hurts, little bird

Y/N: Don’t you have a question you need to ask?

Jason: Are you flustered? I feel like you’re flustered

Y/N: Amazing weather we’re having Despite the rain and all

Jason: Alright, I’ll stop with the teasing For now Born in Gotham?

Y/N: No I am from Metropolis, moved here for school

Jason: Any other reason?

Y/N: Yeah, Superman kept destroying my apartment building I’ve moved three times and somehow, he always finds the building I’m living in Minute I graduated high school, I moved

Jason: But why Gotham?

Y/N: Gotham intrigues me

Jason: You’re so weird

Y/N: Thank you Since you’re not in school, what do you do?

Jason: Mechanic Didn’t really want my dad’s help so I’m finding my way in life

Y/N: Not a great relationship?

Jason: You can say that So, engineering huh?

Y/N: Yup I love building and taking things apart Have since I was little

Jason: Gonna change the world?

Y/N: Imma try but can’t really do that while working at luthor corp

Jason: Please tell me your joking

Y/N: Ah, not a fan I see Can’t blame you but I am not It was one of the first places I’ve applied to and hear back right away I accepted before getting my other interviews

Jason: jumped the gun a bit

Y/N: Yeah I did. I wished I didn’t but oh well I’ll find something better if this doesn’t work out

Jason: Why don’t you quit now?

Y/N: I am a broke college student who needs money If I quit now, I’m not sure if I find someone to take me Plus the hours working there are helping my schooling, so it’s kinda late to switch jobs

Jason: Can’t believe I’m saying this but try wanye enterprise I hear they’re good to work for

Y/n: I plan too eventually But at the moment, this is fine The hours I have now works with my school hours

Jason: How’s working there anyways?

Y/N: Not too bad I guess I’m allowed to work on my own projects as long as I work on the assigned ones The people are nice and all but it could be better

Jason: But you don’t like it there?

Y/N: I don’t like Lex Luthor and what he represents I guess

Jason: So you believe that he’s trying to take down superman?

Y/N: I’ve seen one of their fights Nothing to believe

Jason: Must of been some fight

Y/N: Mm So What did you mean, I can’t believe I’m saying this?

Jason: You can’t be weird about it

Y/N: Oh? I am intrigued

Jason: You’re making it weird

Y/N: I am not It’s not like I said you have a crush on Bruce Wayne or something That would have been weird

Jason: Is this how you felt when I teased you?

Y/N: Paybacks a bitch isn’t it?

Jason: I hate you

Y/N: Okay

Jason: I do

Y/N: You’re deflecting

Jason: Oh my god Fine He’s my dad, well adoptive dad

Y/N: Cool

Jason: That’s it? You’re not going to fawn over him being my dad? Ask me questions about what he’s like? Ask if the tabloids are true?

Y/N: Nope Tbh, I don’t care for Bruce Like, I applaud him for what he’s trying to do for Gotham and all But, seeing him on every magazine everywhere I go gets a bit tiring He’s just another dude that people are obsessed with Who cares if he’s rich Besides, I’m talking to you aren’t I? Who cares about Bruce Wayne I wanna know Jason Todd

Jason: You know? I think I may actually be in love

Y/N: Stooooooop You can’t say things like that

Jason Why? Cuz you get flustered so easily?

Y/N And if I do?

Jason Gotta say it’s my favourite past time

Y/N So, the reason you don’t have a great relationship with Bruce Does it have anything to do with you being dead or something?

Jason Wow WOW I cannot believe you We go from what's your favourites to hard hitting questions huh? I see how it is

Y/N I told you they were coming

Jason I just didn’t think you’d use it as a deflection tactic

Y/N Yeah I want to say sorry But I’m not I’m sure you would use anything to get attention from yourself

Jason Can’t do positive attention

Y/N Eh

Jason I hear you And yes it is part of the reason why me and Bruce are not in good terms

Y/N Mm, I’m sure he’s trying

Jason In his own Bruce way yeah

Y/N Are you?

Jason I like to believe I am Why the interest?

Y/N I don’t know Maybe it’s the fact that my relationship with my dad isn’t the best

Jason You’re dad’s not Bruce Wayne’s too?

Y/N HA Then I would not be talking to you in this fashion

Jason That is true So then what?

Y/N My mom says we are too similar to each other Got the same attitude and all I believe it Growing up, it was all your useless and you’ll amount to nothing Or he’ll ignore me, and I’d prefer that over the degrading Only time he’d show his affection was if he was drunk

Jason Wow Sorry

Y/N Yeah It’s gotten better since I moved out Now it’s there, and I’m still processing

Jason Processing what?

Y/N Mm It’s a pretty heavy topic to get into with someone you just met

Jason Can’t be worse than me being dead for months

Y/N Months?! How many?

Jason Oh damn You are a lot easier to talk with then who I normally socialize with

Y/N I shall take that as a complement

Jason As you should And no, I will not be elaborating

Y/N Alright fair But I will get the story

Jason Mm, I’m sure you will So? Gonna answer my question

Y/N Last year he was diagnosed with cancer Not sure what it is, but it already spread

Jason How long did the doctors give him?

Y/N He didn’t want to know Can’t blame him for

Jason Sorry about that

Y/N Yeah

Jason You don’t sound to hurt about it

Y/N Like I said, still processing it so I don’t know how to feel With the childhood I had, I don’t know how too But I know when it comes down to it, my emotions will hit me like a truck when the day comes

Jason Well, soak up as much time as you can before you have any regrets

Y/N Trying to He is just making it impossible Whoo boy! That was a lot of emotion for one night I think I’m going to eat some ice cream and binge watch my favourite show

Jason Sounds fun, wish I could join but I promised my brothers with help

Y/N How many do you have?

Jason Do you read anything about the Wayne family?

Y/N Nope What I know about him is what is whispered between my classes and work and even then I don’t listen to them

Jason Really committed on not caring about him, huh Four brothers and three sisters

Y/N Big family

Jason Bruce likes to adopt

Y/N I can tell Anyways, have fun tonight

Jason I’ll try Would you be interested in talking some more?

Y/N I would love to

#jason todd x reader #jason todd #jason todd gn!reader #batman imagine #my writing #this was purely for my entertainment #but enjoy #online match up

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polariae · 2 months

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Hi my loves!

So I would like to inform u of some problems about the fanfic Savior i am Co working on and the truth on how my Fanfic Ideas of my OC Izumi x Geto got taken advantage of. And how the tragectory of everything went on. From the start to the reason why I wanted her to stop/delete my FF.

As u know I have had my OC Izumi for some years now as a staple in my artworks and I got so much love and curiosity from yall to know more about her. I ofc had a whole backstory in my mind already fleshed out from the start for Izumi, since i just love to make up stories and backgrounds for OC characters. Its just something that comes naturally and all my maladapive daydream girlies will know exactly what im talkin about 😂 and after so many DMs about wanting to know more about her i was like, a fanfic would be amazing to do!

The problem was, English is not my first or second language and I just didnt had the means to bring my thoughts rightly to paper. I also am really invested in drawing here and that takes up all my freetime already. So i had no time or skills to make this FF work.

Thats how I came across a tumblr user who had open a requests on her page so I dmed her. I liked her other work she made with Geto (even tho it was kinda brutal) i liked her writing style a lot. So I asked her if she would like to write this story with me. We agreed that I would give her my ideas and she would write it. I saw her as a friend and trusted her.

But soon she wanted to add and change things up, she said that thats how it is with co writing and thats just how its gonna be. I was okay with that at first, since the changes were sometimes beneficial and it was fun to brainstorm with her. It was clear that this was my vision and any changes had to get through me. We both agreed on that but I was naïve and let myself get talked into things. I just wanted her to keep writing and was dependent for her collaboration.

For anyone who read the FF: The character Kai was never planned by me, it was a character she wanted to have in it, hes someone who abused Izumi in her captivity. He was like the prisonguard of her. I was like okay fine u can add him but i said from the beginning that I do not want him to touch Izumi in a sexual way.

I shouldve known immediately that things will go south as the writer said she wanted to add sexual abuse in it.

I was very reluctant but I sensed how she spoke that she wouldnt wanna write further so I agreed in just very mild things, which already were awful enough but i tried to make the best out of her wishes. Since she was insisting. And i hoped that if id agree to this mild things that that would be it and hopefully not picked up further in the story and at last forgotten by the readers.

My only thing i always said was: I dont want to have any of this abuse to interfere with Izumis and Getos relationship. That was a big thing since I wanted them to have a romantic and loving relationship further on. The NSFW scenes were planned to be sweet, and sensual especially cuz Geto wouldve been all Izumi knew sexually and her first (and Geto is just peak hotness and perfect for that) Izumi should enjoy her firsts with Geto fully.

Going on she started to change more things.. and it got further and further away from how Izumi and all was. She started to change Izumi and her personality. Shes so far off of what I pictured her to be and what was discussed. But that wasnt the worst thing.

Then the writer just started to take things to new levels, Izumi having to be forced to suck Kai off for food, Kai fingering her to her orgasm against her will etc.

Pls know that she just posted the chapters without informing me, so i always tried to talk her into removing these scenes but to no avail.

Boiling point was now the latest chapters cuz she made Izumi have panic attack and flashbacks. Worst, she made her having one as Geto and Izumi tried to take things further in the bedroom. She made Izumi think of Kai and her sexual abuse. Tormenting Izumi with memories of Kai sexually abusing her when Geto was touching her. Its awful.

And that was what made me just so so sad. Cuz Kai wasnt even supposed to be in the story at all. And now exactly what I didnt wanted happened. At this point i wasnt even invested anymore in the story cuz it just wasnt enjoyable to read about all this mess. Izumi was snappy, her personality is weird and unpleasant and it was just such a weird vibe between Geto and Izumi. The writer always talked her way out by saying thats just how trauma works ect. Without acknowledging my wishes and my OC Izumi. Izumi and Geto just were soo weird together and after this all their whole dynamic was not there anymore. It wasnt loving, it wasnt sweet.

And i would like to add that im a sucker for Angst. Like im not someone who reads fluff. But this was even for me not even Angst anymore, it was just uncomfortable.

Like it was the drop that made it overfloat. What made me not wanting to be associated with it anymore. She wrote on many Autors Notes especially the recent ones, that she does not have the drive to write more on the FF. That she healfheartly literally ended the FF today in 3 chapters. This fanfic just has nothing to do with what I imagined anymore and im sad that i gave away all my ideas away to her tbh. If i had known I wouldve never asked her to write my ideas out. It also became her most read Fanfic. We discussed sooo many cool ideas and scenes for this fanfic till the end chapters like i just dont understand why she just insists in having this sexual abuse in it and tormenting Izumi. And also drag it over so many chapters. So many of you DMed me and said hoe uncomfortable it made u feel reading the latest chapters and how the storyline just didnt seem the same anymore. Which was as u see now absolutely true.

I asked her many times on why she insists on having sexual abuse in it so much? But shes never gave me an answer, no she tries to turn in on me saying "u agreed to it". Which as I discussed with u above was not what happened AT ALL. She says she cant remove it anymore, wether the scenes or Izumis mental torment and trauma. But she COULD.

ITS A FANFIC. U can always make it work.

Its also funny how she tries to say "im doing it for free" to hint that she can do whatever she wants. In that case i just have to say; i also gave all my ideas for free like? Its insane how this is even a conversation.

The gaslighting she is doing in the chat is hard to manage and Im srsly so sad and also annoyed that this had to happen.

I wont engage in this with her more cuz I have to keep my mental health in tact.

You saw how she is turning things around, how she manipulates and changes the context of conversations. I remember vividly how the first times she laughed at how emotionally invested i was in my story and belitteling me. I created Izumi nearly 4 years ago while I was batteling severe anxiety while i was homebound. How she always blackmailed me in saying "ur not paying me so I can do whatever I want" and when I then gave her some payed content for free she is now changing the narrative as if she never asked for money. I was the one who thought we would do this for fun and was always hurt when she talked about this tid for tad mentality.

I tried to build a friendship and let things that she said pass during our "friendship" out of good faith. I was hurt how she treated me and dismissed me and my character requirements and how now that I was the one saying I dont see her as a friend anymore she turns it around to make it seem im the "mean" one for now standing up for myself. I am still shook about this disingenious behavior. I never sent hate to her even tho she tries with all her power to say so. I even insisted to keep things kind and graceful. And after she shit on me and I saw that she wouldnt budge, I stood up for myself. Also; Calling me a bitch and telling me to fuck off is no "quirky" way to talk to people as seen below. Especially in this context.

Shes now deleting every comment that doesnt benefit her on the comment sections. Im not surprised. So be it.

Tbh I do not care anymore. I just made story posts but since she showed the DMs I wanted to post the truth for u to read here as well. Iwont let this negativity from her linger any longer and give her any platform.

As I said in the DM i rather had kept this private but I had to share the truth in this matter since she spread misinformation. You deserve to know how things really went behind the scenes. And im sick and tired that my kindness is always taken advantage of.

I had to speak up for myself, my Ideas and my OC. Thank u for all that messaged me and having my back! Everyone of u sent nothing but love and support my way my heart was bursting out of greatfulness.

I LOVE YOU.

If you've read so far im so so grateful for ur time. And in due time I will tell the real story of Izumi and Geto in a FF worthy of their love.

Latesr DMs she also posted but here with context.

#notice #geto fanfic

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mossmurdock · 3 months

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grocery clerk suguru x youtuber reader... we r officially walking people (we r holding hands btw) @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat i hope u dont mind being tagged but i know u were excited about this!!

OK! so this is such a specific concept but it is so very special to me. i imagine suguru working as a clerk with one of those cute little aprons some stores sometimes have their employees wear. so he's got this little job but then later at home he likes messing around online.

yes guys, im making him a little streamer in this au i couldn't help myself. (what games he likes to play specifically i'm not too sure about yet, but i think he likes to stream a variety of things!) he's got a small audience but he's found that it's a cool way for him to decompress so he really enjoys it!

anyway back to the reader. you come into the store suguru works at pretty frequently, with an array of impressively well picked groceries almost every single time. he likes to play this little game when gets bored on shift where he guesses what people are cooking based on what they buy, and you're by far his favourite any time he plays it.

it's a little embarrassing to admit, but you're kind of the best part of his week. always so kind even on days he notices you're in a rush or stressed out, bidding him a good day after you're done bagging your items, a small smile on your lips the few times you raise your head to look at him.

suguru notices that you seem to favor him anytime he's at the registers, feeling an odd sort of pride whenever he spots you scanning the lines and choosing his every-time. call him delusional, but it sort of becomes hard to ignore when you choose him even when a register with a much shorter line is available.

for some reason he's found it strangely difficult to break the ice with you, finding it hard to secede from his practiced script in the short time the two of you share a space. the most deviation he's been able to muster in the past weeks has been asking you if you'd like to sign up for the store's rewards card.

subconsciously searching for something to point out casually takes him a few troubling days, but he finally conjures something in the spur of the moment. right as he's handing you back your cash, suguru notices the vibrant colour of your nails; they're different from last months.

"I like your nails," he mentions quickly, semi distracted by the upcoming customer already beginning to place their items on the belt.

You look up from your bagging and Suguru is able to literally catch the way your face brightens, fixated on the flash of your teeth and the crinkle of your eye. It's the first time he's seen your cheeks rise up so high, delightfully different from the subtle smiles you've granted him till now.

"Thank you," you reply, a laugh laced into your voice. And then you're gone again, throwing a sincere good bye over shoulder, bag hung over your arm, and stepping out the automatic doors.

the interaction is short, brief enough to have suguru thinking about it the rest of the day. latching onto it enough that he finally buys that nail polish remover he's been needing to wipe away the chipped mess on his own fingertips. and maybe he repaints them new with you in mind.

it goes on like this for a little while. you notice the new colour on suguru the next time you see him and compliment it. he does the same for yours, mentioning how close it is to one of his favourite shades. actively holding back from slyly commenting on how you've been subtly matching it to his preferences based on your short conversations. blue, green, black; anything he mentions makes a subtle cameo onto the design of your nails in the following weeks or so.

he never explicitly mentions you during his little streams, but suguru does have this thing where he'll mention craving a specific food that's related to what he'd seen you buy that specific afternoon to his chat. it's fun to mention it to his few viewers, sometimes they'll recommend him tutorials on how to make certain things or even share their own recipes. it often ends rather jokingly, with crazy inedible recipes no one would dare follow, but some times it can be rather wholesome.

one night, he gets off stream and actually decides to check a few of them out. aimlessly scrolling through both the serious and unserious suggestions.

he never would have imagined recognizing your nails, jewelry, and voice after typing in the title of a video and pressing on it.

turns out the reader makes content themselves! they've got this semi-popular cooking channel they've been growing for the past two years or something like that. i like to think it started off as something sort of accidental for you. like one of your close friends liking your cooking so much that they beg you to share it.

then you just kind of picked up the habit of making different types of videos by following a vague schedule. you found yourself really enjoying the process of making the food and sharing the way you did it with people. one of your favourite parts is reading the comments of your videos and seeing how people's food turned out for them, if they liked the taste or if they cooked it for someone else.

it's been a motivator to indulge in your groceries a little more. eventually you switch over to buying at the more expensive grocery store more often in order to purchase higher quality ingredients.

it helps that you meet geto there, the cute clerk who has a sweet voice.

you grow to enjoy him being part of your routine. a small part of you even believes him ringing you up adds a dash of luck to how your cooking will turn out that week.

the more you've frequented, the chattier he's gotten, gracing you more with that silken voice of his. it almost reminds you of a warm meal.

but this afternoon seems odd.

geto can't seem to stop staring at your hands today.

#i totally forgot about this so here it is!#finished it up right before the last class of today :)#AHH IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG ARI #it's just a cute thing atm and it will probably stay that way i need more cute writing in my arsenal #moss writes #god I havent used that tag in a bit LMAO #they would both be faceless content creators btw idk if i made that clear enough #this is unedited btw sorry!#jjk x reader #suguru x reader #geto x reader #suguru geto x reader #geto suguru x reader

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cowboyjen68 · 4 months

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hi jen! i've know im a lesbian since I was 12, but because of my problems with socializing i've never actually had ANY romantic interactions(my lesbianism making things even harder, as you can imagine)

i'm almost out of high school and going to college, so i'm feeling very down about missing out on teen romance but dont want the same thing to happen again. do you have any tips on what i can do to avoid this problem in the future? i am genuinely clueless on what to do when looking for a partner, really

even if you dont actually have any advice to give i still really love your blog, it reminds me that lesbians can actually grow old and live happy lives💖💖thank you for hearing me out and i apologize for any grammar mistake!!

This is pretty easy because, while it was pretty outgoing and friendly, it was often not as my full self. I kept my horse girl, lesbian, butch and weird music and hobby side of myself under wraps from most of my friends. I had no word for lesbian or butch but my high school best friend knew I probably liked girls, we just never discussed it and it didn't bother her. It might have been harder on our friendship had I tried to come out in the 80's, not because it bothered her but the insinuations of all the others about our relationship would have been A LOT for a high schooler.

I waited until after college graduation and I used to sometimes look back and wonder how many times I missed out kissing a girl in high school or other women in college. How had twinges of regret for not having sex or even attempting intimacy with women.( I mostly avoided boys too because ew)

As I was sitting in a miserable passionless marriage to my wife of 17years, I pined for that passion and tingle that i had with my first girlfriend from ages 23 to 30. How many times did I miss that feeling with girls in my high school or college or at summer jobs because I was unsure of myself and not confident that any woman would find me attractive. I was even unsure if loving a woman was something I could do. Was it a real thing?

Looking back now I realize I just was not ready and most of my young friends in high school were not ready for me to be out and opening attracted to the same sex. I had fun in high school, made friends and had a small group of girls I was very close to. I enjoyed those friendships perhaps because I did not come out and cause those bonds to be strained.

In college I was concerned how my parents would react and I was in no way independent from their financial and emotional support. My friends were all around me experimenting with their sexuality and I was watching from outside, really wanting what they had but not willing to give up my security and college education to be open about being a lesbian. I knew I could just "do it and hide it" but I was not built for the stealthy life. I know if i was loving loving women it would be hard to be quiet.

Here is the point I am getting at with the sharing of all these experiences. If you were not ready to act on dating and attempting to date it is probably good that you listened to yourself. We are not on a time line and many young people feel pressured to date when their confidence, sexual maturity and social skills are not ready yet which can lead them to be vulnerable to abusive, controlling or unhealthy relationships. It is hard to listen to your own intuition and set and keep boundaries when you are trying to date just to not be the only one not dating.

What you more likely missed out on was not the thrill of dating but the hassle of pretending you want to date when it didn't feel right, at all.

You are heading to college. You are now becoming interested in the excitement of dating on your own and not because others think you need to date. You are craving the touch, the tingly feeling and the companionship of women. These are all good signs you are ready to date.

My advice:

1.Be honest with yourself and then her (your date) every time. Do not go on date number two if it does not feel right. If you are unsure go on another date but continue to listen to yourself.

2.You deserve passion and mutual excitement to be in the company of a woman. If one of you do not feel it, move on.

3.Do not stick to a relationship because it is "ok" or she is "nice" . You have the right to sexual, emotional and intellectual stimulation. Look for it and don't settle.

4.There will be other women so don't cling to the first one or the one willing to stick around just because she is there. If you don't feel all the afore mentioned excitement, be honest with yourself and her and move on.

5. Dating a woman with whom you share many wonderful moments and lots of joy does not mean you will be together forever or have that expectation. Short term love is a thing and neither of you are failures when that fades out.

6. Ask her. If you see a woman that interests you be clear that you would like to take her on a date and you have romantic interests. Don't be vague or try to use hints. This leads to miscommunications and false expectation every time.

7. Finally, use all the dating and flirting and breakups and heartbreaks and joy and fun and memories to form who and what you are looking for as a partner. All that experience is giving you a better idea on what makes you truly happy.

You missed out on nothing. The adventure is just beginning and it can start with a simple "Hi, I think you are cute. Would you be willing to go on a date with me?" She might say "no", but she MIGHT say "yes".

#lesbian #dating #college #fomo

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reorientation · 5 months

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okay nothing in this world has ever made me flood with need the way seeing my asks linked and tagged as 'respect anon' did. little update - ive been getting railed so often (11 times total now since mid november) that i have a bruised cervix. it hurts in such a delicious way, makes me hyperaware of what i am, almost feels reminiscent of cramps.

my original hookup ive now seen six times, and he wants to see me once a week minimum. the way he murmurs "good girl" so encouragingly to me, his strength, and the insanely erotic feeling of him breeding me, have all bewitched me. the texture of semen exploding into a wet cunt is so unique and im obsessed, its a different consistency from my own wetness, so i can always feel the exact moment hes fucking his sperm into my fertile body, even when i dont feel him throbbing through it (which i usually can).

other than him, ive fucked four other guys in the last month. each and every one of them came in me bare. i hoped a few times would sate me but if anything its fanning the flames. on my neediest day i had three guys come over one after another to fill me, the first was my original guy, and the other two were completely random, and they all treated me so perfectly honestly.

the third one in particular fulfilled my need to have a real man coax me into admitting my real name, he fucked me hard and fast and used his filthy tongue to slip into my subconscious mind and loosen my inhibitions until he got it out of me. then he used it over and over again while he fucked a baby into me, slapped my well-bred pussy till i begged him to stop, then held me so tightly. i felt so dazed and safe and feminine in his arms.

it feels so good to have a man respect me enough to give me what i really need, especially when im being brave enough to ask for something i was so afraid to even acknowledge about myself. and it especially feels good when he looks right into my eyes while pounding me and reminding me of the truth.

fuck sorry for multiple asks i literally just cannot stop thinking about being dubbed 'respect anon' its driving me crazy. i can feel my pulse everywhere, but it seems to pool in the places that make me a woman: my clit, my pussy lips, my aching dripping vagina, and my breasts. i can feel my pulse in my fucking nipples. and also usually my temples but thats off theme.

i cant get over how good it feels to be fucked. i never in a million years expected how endlessly perfect it would be, ive found partners that emanate joy together with me and its so much fun and so erotic. the original guy in particular, just takes so much joy in fixing me and in enjoying my cunt, i often end up watching the filthy reactions on his face as he watches my pussy clench around him. he watches us join together as one, my cunt singing with pleasure, i always ask him if theres anything else i can do for him and he almost always says "lay back and take it." like, yes sir!

once i was riding him and his hands were clenching my hips tight, i love riding because it makes my breasts bounce and heave so deliciously. he was staring at them, i was moaning like a bitch in heat feeling him stretch me out in an angle we dont normally do, and suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "you have a womans body." swear if id been on my back i would have orgasmed right then and there. he sometimes goes back and forth in what gendered terms he uses and it keeps my mind spinning with confusion and desperation. we are both bi and im pretty sure our current dynamic is heaven for us both.

there are so many filthy details i want to share with you. feels like i could babble all day about the things that have happened, but it all boils down to this: im a woman, obsessed with taking cock, finally letting herself enjoy some wonderful company, and it wont be long until im the sluttiest pregnant girl grindr has ever seen, hahahah.

respect anon back with one last thought because ive been obsessively rereading your two responses to me so far. when i begged him to refeminize me, "it doesn't even sound like he was surprised." nope! in fact he laughed at me, he laughed and said "fuuck yes." in that moment, i knew that he had already known, and was waiting to see if id admit it. with him, i have this manic energy where i come off completely insane over text, and his steady energy only serves to wind me up more. i think he knew id cave and beg to be detransitioned, my pics are all pretty high femme and lets just say im not ever subtle about my femininity.

the weird thing is, i only have that manic energy with him. i dont know if its because hes genuinely the hottest guy ive ever met, or because he took my virginity, or because he succeeded in breaking my mind. but the other guys ive slept with, while they blow my mind and show me what im for, i dont make such a fool of myself to them.

genuinely with him i have lost all semblance of self-respect and it proves right everything he has ever whispered into my ear.

(Previously)

All that fun you've been having, going from being a virgin to getting inseminated by five different men within a couple months - and nothing ever made you flood like my tagging system? I'm very flattered, Anon! A bit bemused, but flattered.

So much to speak to here, but one part I truly love is that your new life as a woman started with the first man to use your pussy laughing at you. Like your whole identity as a man had been one long joke you were telling, and you'd finally gotten to the punchline.

That's what real respect looks like for you, isn't it, Anon? A man who'll wait for you to finish telling the joke before he laughs.

And the man who made you tell him your real name while he fucked you full of cum... There's a pleasing symmetry to that. He got something out of you and put something into you. He learned what they called you when you were born, and maybe gave you a baby to call your own.

Which is what you're made for, after all. Your body never stops reminding you of that, whether it's with the pain of a bruised cervix or your blood pulsing in your swollen nipples or the unstoppable pleasure of taking a man's cum in your womb. It's little wonder that you've come so far since getting fucked for the first time, little lady: your body was just waiting for the chance to start.

#I can't respond to all of this without feeling like I'm going on for too long but rest assured that I enjoyed reading every bit <3 #reor: respect anon #kink interactions #reorientation writing #reor: anon ask #ftm misgendering kink #ftm detransition kink #ftm breeding #ftm girl #reor: anon life story

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notahorseindisguise · 3 months

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ive realised im shitting on america, really really hard and i need to apologize for it. because even though the people ive been hanging out with are far from like, patriots. its really unfair how mean ive been being. like if i was showing them around australia and i asked like "is aus better than america?" and the they were like "oh no america is a million times better." im not a patriot but that would hurt a lot. theyre showing me their hometown snd the place they grew up in, theyre allowed to shit on it but ive been being really rude snd i cant believe it because i would be getting pissed if it happened to me snd thats unfair

but then the thing is also it goes a level deeper because i am really really enjoying my time here. it isnt better than australia, but it isnt worse, its just so different. and im having a shit load of fun. the real reason why im shitting so hard on america is because im here all on my own, like yes im hanging eith friends but im still required to take care of myself by myself and thats really really scary. and because here im all alone, and thats scaring me, i dont want to show that weakness. and so im turning the fear into indignity..because being scared makes me seem small. but being all high snd mighty about my country being better makes me seem big and makes everyone else seem small. and i need to stop doing that, because, like i said, its unfair. anyway. so just something little for me to work on

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zaidthefeederist · 3 months

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Giving in to gluttony : A fit to fat story (part 1)

We were both at the gym after work just like most days. This is where we first met. I saw you on the squat rack and was enamored by your beauty (and the perfect ass you had definitely helped). I approached you and we went on a date and had been dating since then. Though we both were fitness freaks (i still am) there's a part of me i haven't told you about. A part of me that would rather have you tied up in my bed sporting a fat belly so big it hangs to your knees. I've kept it in check for as long as i can, you had only gained 10 pounds in our 4 months together and a lot of that has been muscle definition since we started working out. Today however, it all changes. One faithful injury changes everything.

"This….freaking….sucks" I say grumpy as I sit next to you in the car. We just came back from the first aid room. I look at my leg and shake my head "no lifting, no cardio…and no rock climbing for 6 months?!" I cross my arms and sigh "That also means I really have to watch what I eat…else I end up like one of those fat girls at the gym" The other day we had been making jokes about a chubby girl that was struggling to do basic cardio

"god i know baby, its not fair at all. Not having you at the gym is going to make me lose all my motivation, not to mention who else will i make fun of the fatties with" i look to you after we both laugh to ourselves.."dont worry though babe. ill take good care of you, You know i've been making myself a better and better cook. Ill make sure your diet goes exactly according to plan.." i say as i keep my hand on your toned thigh, giving it a rub and feeling ecstatic and the though of having a home bound girlfriend for 6 whole months.

**2 weeks later**

"im so bored" I sigh before taking another cookie that you made me. "Im usually at the gym right now" Another cookie goes into my stomach. I dont seem to notice the little bit of pudge that was pressing on to my waistband when I sat down like this. You had noticed that I did a lot of "boredom eating"…and recently…I had also started snacking when I was stressed or feeling a little down.

"Im done babe!" i yell, having baked another batch of cookies. The last 2 weeks have been heavenly. Turns out when liz is left to her own devices with nothing else to do, she becomes rather peckish. Its nothing insane yet but she'll never say no to a little treat every now and then. With the absence of the gym and with me making sure to always make every meal of hers just a bit more heavy, she's managed to maintain her weight at 140 pounds albeit with a major bonus. If before she was toned and slightly muscular, now shes lost her definition and is even developing a little pudge. I see her belly pressing against her waistband as she snacks on one of the cookies i made her and see it press further and further against the band as she makes the tray of cookies magically disappear.

You always made sure to take the plates away or split it in multiple portions, so I had no idea how much I was actually eating in a day. after finishing the third tray of cookies that day you see I am rubbing my belly…I was getting full and I hadn't even eaten a meal! "My tummy is a bit upset" I say as I rub it. "better drink something" I grab the glass of soda that you had brought me. I drink all of it in one go. "I can't believe this is actually sugar free" I say surprised "it tastes like one of those cheap soda's that is super b-BRUUAUUAUAAAAAAAAAP-ad " I look wide eyed and cover my mouth with a blush "s-sorry!"

"Haha that was pretty cool!" i say immediately so as to not make you think i dislike it. I cant let you know that youve given me a hard on with that deep nasty belch, at least not yet. "I don't mind babe" i say as i nuzzle in right next to you on the bed. "in fact if anything it lets me know you really enjoyed whatever i made for you so no need to apologize." i say as i keep my hand on your bloated stuffed belly, giving it a good rub. "I guess you reallly loved those cookies huh, hehe"

"I-I do" I say blushing as you rub my belly…it felt good, but it also made me a bit aware of the fact that I was softer now. "I mean…its just not very lady like to burp like that right?" I smile as you roll your eyes at me "BRUUAAAAP…ooohhff but it does make my tummy feel better"

I moan to myself making sure you don't hear me. "I'm glad you like them" i reply, both to your answer and to that big burp you let out. We spend a few more minutes like this with me rubbing your rounded gut, making you get used to the feeling, making you love my hands on your tummy, making you know i like those un-lady like burps. Im slowly easing your mind into its new state. The state of pure gluttony. Before i get up from bed i decide to try one more thing, i grab your belly and give it a hard pinch and lean up next to your ear "You were a good girl today, keep eating like this and soon you'll be like those fatties at the gym". I whispered it and said it in a teasing tone, but i could tell by your breathing…it did its job. My eyes go wide and my face goes dark red. Did he really just say that?…Is he making a joke?…why do I like him teasing and humiliating me?! I look down and my heart beats even faster, judging by the bulge in your pants…you really liked seeing me like this. "w-what?….a-are you trying to make me fat?" I ask in a soft voice. You just smile, gently kiss my belly before squeezing it again and leave with the empty plates…Am I really going to get fat?

#feedee belly #feedee encouragement #feeding kink #feedee piggy #stuffed feedee #girl burp #fat belly #belly expansion #fit to fat #force fed #manipulation #feedee girl #wg text #teasing #chubby #feederist #short story #feedee story

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